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myidlethinkings · 4 years

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So my girlfriend has been trying to have me read the Wheel of Time series since when she was just my best friend. I picked back up the second book recently but it's been a while since I read the first and she went on this massive "YOU WON'T REMEMBER EVERYTHING FROM THE FIRST BOOK, LET ME TELL YOU"

This led to her Wheel of Time in 5 Minutes ™ lecture/rant and... I had to share this with the world. Enjoy.

Obviously every spoiler for the first book. You've been warned.

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k, eye of the world in 5 mins.

begins in the two rivers, emonds field, is gonna be bel tine and everyones all excited. rand lives further afield with his father and theyre bringing in brandy for the inn. rands all omg someones watching me as theyre getting in, tams all i cant see anything, rands all mustv imagined it. they get there. they hear theres going to be a gleeman. meets up with his bestie perrin and LOVER mat I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP who are both like yeah we totes saw the figure too. they go we'll tell the mayor tomorrow.

they see the gleeman thom and theyre all omg a gleeman, omg. then the two strangers, moiraine, who is the best character ever to character in any universe fucking fight me on that and lan, who are asking questions about the area and people and moiraines like oh hi child to nynaeve the wisdom whose like im the fucking wisdom bitch who the fuck are you. she then says to the boys hey here have this coin which is totally a normal coin cuz i might have errands and shit and theyre like holy shit anything you want.

then he sees egwene and hes all like omg the love of my life will you dance with me tomorrow at bel tine and shes all yeah sure in the afternoon cuz i got shit to do in the morning and hes all like wut? and shes all GETTIN MAH HAIR BRAIDED YO and hes all like holy shit that means shes marriagable, holy shit man.

then the peddler paidan fain rocks up and gets everyone in a frenzy over war wherever and false dragons and logain or whoever else.

rand and tam go back to the farm overnight before the festivities begin. shit goes down. trollocs smash in, rands all OMG TROLLOCS ARENT REAL THO LIKE WUT and tams all, fly you fool and rand runs into the woods. but then hes all, i cant fucken leave my father so he creeps back and in the shadows he sees tam creeping around with a sword and rands like DAFUQ why does he have a sword, fighting ensues, tam gets hurt, is dying, rand manages to get him back to emonds field with a figure trailing them.

tams delirious, starts talking about rands dead mother and then starts talking about a battle and how they all poured over the dragonwall and that it was snowing but it was so hot, battle is always hot and she was a warrior even though she was pregnant and she gave birth and died and how he took the baby and rand was all WUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. im gonna ignore that shit.

gets to emonds field. everything is in ruins. trollocs wrecked the shit there too. nynaeve is all like sorry dude, your dads gonna die. hes all fuck that, gets back to the inn where the gleemans like hey that ladys an aes sedai, she could heal him but i totally wouldnt because you never know what they ask for in price and rands all i dont care because HE IS MY FATHER. MY FATHER. HEEEEE. ISSSS. MYYYY. FATHERRRRR. thoms all, holy shit dude calm down hes your father. moiraine, the best character in the universe, heals tam, then shes all like look, you three boys need to come with me and rands all, well shit she makes sense and they go but then egwenes hiding too and shes all bitch im adventuring too and rands all AHHHH and moiraines all huh the wheel weaves what the wheel wills, whatevs, and they go on, with thom whose also like this place is boring asf, im coming on.

they head out, dragkhar fly overhead, moiraine like a mofo destroys them, they get to tarren ferry, cross on the ferry, then coincidentally theres a whirlpool and the ferrys destroyed when theyre on the other side and egwenes like HOLY SHIT YOU DID THAT and moiraines all cuz im fucking awesome and nobody can follow us now so stfu and they head on.

rand interrupts a lesson with moiraine teaching egwene the true source cuz egwenes got it. rands all FUCKING WTF and thoms all dude, leave it, you cant do a thing about it. Shes gone now. Why don’t you bang mat instead. I mean the mat comment never happened but I will ship them till my dying breath. moiraines all to egwene youll die if i dont teach you, there was another back in emonds who also had it but she managed to survive/channel in her own way.

egwene starts to unbraid her hair. rand has a crying fit. egwenes all fuck off man, i do what i want. mydraal and shit attack them, they get to baerlon safely. where the gatekeepers like the children of the light are around but they cant cause much trouble cuz the city watch hate them and the whitecloaks are little bitches. they get to baerlon. mat and rand walk around. they see a few of the whitecloaks, dane bornhold a young man leading the small group. mats like lol, watch this, enters a shop, climbs up the top and hurls a rock at them, loosening barels. rand has started to feel feverish and when the barrels nearly knock them over, rand stands there and doesnt hide and rands like lol and danes like dafuq are you looking at and rands like im looking at you what are YOU looking at and hes feeling really odd and reckless and danes like are you a darkfriend and steps forward but then the city guards turn up who hates the whitecloaks and they face each other off and mat hauls rand off all are you fucking insane, you faced him off and rands recklessness leaves him and he freaks out and they flee.

throughout this time and through the book all three have dreams but i cant be bothered to get into those, theyre basically all the dark one figuring out who is who, and they wake up after rats backs were broken in the dream to be all oh hey it was just dreams though, to find rats dead all over the place and other stuff. Moiraine told them early on to go to her if they have dreams and the boys talk about it and theyre like we should probably tell her but nah, she saes sedai and like, its just dreams yo, yeah a few rats end up dead but cool, its fine, we’re fine.

oh baerlons also where he meets min who can see things around them, like with him a sword that is not a sword and three women on his funeral pyre weeping and with perrin she sees wolves and mat dice and with lan seven broken towers and a baby in a cradle with a sword and blah blah. And she says she can see he loves egwene and egwene loves him too but theyre not for each other, at least not in the way they want to be.

then he returns and nynaeve is there and she is PISSED and is all like we're going home now and moiraine manages to convince her they are in trouble and nynaeves like ..... i dont trust you, but fine. and lans all how did you find us and shes all i tracked you bitches and hes all like, huh.

rand says to her later about MY FATHER HE IS MY FATHERRRR and nynaeves all awkwardly like er yeah totally, i totally dont remember when your father returned after adventuring with an outlander wife, that totally explains your red hair, er yea sure. but that above all they loved him as much as they wouldv loved any baby.

oh a bunch of times during the book people startle at him and him being so tall with red hair and grey eyes and say he resembles an aiel. oh, theyre also ta'veren, so extra special they draw people into doing stuff with their lives, they effect the pattern. moiraine also says the two rivers used to be manetheran, a fabled kingdom. that night shit happens and they run off. they run, fight, attack, fight, as they battle mat starts yelling out things in an old language he doesnt know, that moiraine says was a manetheran war cry and the old blood still sings.

theyre going to get outrun in battle and against moiraines judgement lan takes them to an old crumbling city shadar logoth which fell to the darkness and even trollocs and mydraal dont like entering it.

oh also tam gave rand the sword which is a heron marked blade and lans all like er only blademasters have these why did your father have one and rands all HES MAHHH FATHERRRRRR and lans all yeah but how and rands all he bought it from a merchant years before and lans all yeah that sounds totally legit.

they go into shadar logoth, the boys sneak off, meet mordeth whose all like lol here take the treasure and mats like cool but rands like holy shit he doesnt have a shadow and then mordeth goes all rahhhh and the three manage to escape and they return and ramble about what happened and moiraines like DID HE GIVE YOU ANYTHING and theyre all like no and mats like er totally didnt and moiraines like we have to move and they leave but then this shadow thing that can kill them separates them and theyre all separated and perrin and egwene fall into a river together, and nynaeve finds moiraine and lan and is all like I will cut you aes sedai for what you’ve done to all of us and moiraine is all lol, and rand and mat with thom end up on a ship, the spray, with bayle domon and theyre worried he’ll throw them overboard cuz of the trollocs that chased them but domon seems to think theyre after him.

moiraines like with the coins i can track them, but two of them have lost their coins (paying for passage on domons ship). perrin and egwene roam around a lot, finally meet up with a man elyas who can communicate with wolves. aes sedai once tried to gentle him because of it but it has nothing to do with the one power so it didnt do anything. theres hints he used to be a warder, but now he hangs out in the wilderness. he says perrin has the same thing, perrin freaks out. elyas is like ill take you to the next city cuz you guys are lost. they then meet up with the tuatha'an, the tinkers, who roam around and dont harm anyone even if theyre to be harmed. perrin cant reconcile that, hes all how can you defeat evil by that, but in turn they pity him as hes such a young, sad, violent man with his axe. his eyes start turning gold like elyas' and he starts to communicate with wolves like hopper and a bunch of them though he tries to deny it.

egwene dances with aram, one of the tinkers and perrins all wow what about rand and they eventually leave, though aram is restless for a tinker.

the leader asks elyas if hes found the song which is their formalities, elyas is all no we havent. the leader then tells him of a story he heard, of an aiel who crossed the waste and died, to tell them that leafblighter means to blind the eye of the world. then she died. they leave and then they then meet afoul of the whitecloaks who are fighting whatever and bornhold - danes father – and byar catches them. through the ordeal perrin kills two of the whitecloaks while hes being all half wolf in the battle and they take them in to be questioned.

nynaeve and moiraine/lan end up finding them, releasing them, the wolves assist, nynaeve gets left behind, lans all about to get her, moiraine reminds him of his oaths, nynaeve turns back up.

meanwhile rand/mat are at whitebridge and mats starting to get sick and suspicious. he had a dagger from shadar logoth. a mydraal finds them, thom hurtles his flute and harp at them, says to go, to leave. hes saving them because he once had a nephew who could channel and the red ajah gentled him, while thom was having an affair with the queen morgase of andor when he was a court bard and by the time he got to owen it was too late and hed not survived, which he always regretted and then because he left morgase the way he did she was pissed at him too. rand and mat run for it, rand sobbing that thom is dead.

they go from village to village to village, mat getting sicker and sicker, a young woman who ends up being a darkfriend tries to kill them, they escape. rand keeps thinking he sees padan fain the peddlar from home, whose actually a darkfriend.

moiraine tells nynaeve she has the power too, nynaeve has a mini breakdown. moiraine said it would have begun with a doing something she desperately needed then a few days later collapsing really ill and the illness disappearing quickly. nynaeve once said egwene had gotten sick as a child and shed healed her not knowing how, then gotten sick. moiraine says thats also how she found them to begin with, in the city, she could sense egwene.

rand and mat go to a poor inn, they try to rob them by locking them in the back. mats getting sick and even more paranoid. rand is terrified when he realises theyre going to sell them to a darkfriend and he prowls and prowls till the room theyre in explodes, the wall crumbling. rand doesnt know how but he thinks he did it himself. mat becomes blinded from it and starts sobbing.

they escape. on the run again. as mat is blind, rand takes care of him and mat in his illness is worried that rand will abandon him which rand would never do because mat is the LOVE OF HIS LIFE, rand ends up really sick, paralleling what moiraine said what happened to nynaeve.

they end up hitching a ride to caemlyn where they expect moiraine to find them, if shes still alive. the buggy driver talks about the queen. how elayne is the daughter heir and her brother is the first prince of the sword. its been tradition forever that the daughter heirs go to tar valon to train and the princes go be taught by warders. he mentioned tigraine who was the queen before morgaise, who disappeared mysteriously nearly twenty years ago, who left behind a son galad. morgaise married the husband and became queen and while she had elayne and gawyn, galad lives with them too, now the husband is dead. oh, also logain the false dragon is being presented to the queen as prisoner before the aes sedai take him to tar valon to gentle him.

they get to caemlyn, mats REALLY sick. rand leaves him at an inn, tries to go see the false dragon being brought in. he meets loial an ogier whose nice, whose like 90 but really young for an ogier to have left his stedding without permission. rand ends up thinking he sees paidan, but doesnt have a good feeling, tries to run off, falls into a castle garden. meets elayne the daughter heir who might actually be the most annoying character to exist, her brother gawyn. theyre like omg you look like an aiel. elayne then talks about gareth bryne the guard captain dude she ships hard with her mother. galad MY MOST PURE CHARACTER WHO I LOVE FUCK ELAYNE (not a spoiler, his name is of the most pure camelot round table knight) rocks up, is all, holy you broke into the palace. elayne whose a bitch is like how DARE YOU YOURE NOT MY BROTHERRRR and galads all we are siblings and my duty is to protect you and shes all you wont do anything with this rand ill invoke protection, then galad goes and tells the guards because theres literally a false dragon being brought in and tension is on the rise in caemlyn and hes taken to see morgase.

the red ajah elaida is freaked out by him, knows hes taveren, has a bit of a prophecy but it doesnt really mean much and morgaise is all look, we cant just arrest everyone, let him go.

he then races back to the inn, moiraine and everyones there, they all hug, then hes all like oh yeah mats sick btw. moiraine goes up and mats not just sick hes now tainted. she does the best she can but is all like he needs to get to tar valon to have the bond between him and the dagger properly severed. then moiraine meets loial who randomly talks about an event concerning the eye of the world. perrins all oh yeah thats like the dead aiel girl the tinkers spoke about. that changes the plans once moiraine realises the dark ones trying to get to the eye and shes like we cant get to tar valon yet we gotta leave now. they use the ways which loail knows how to use cuz ogier and male aes sedai made them together centuries before but now the ways are tainted.

theyre like the worlds between the worlds, can get to places quicker but it has the black wind thatll kill you. blah blah blah they use the ways, nearly die, but get to fal dara/shienar, which is sort of where lan is from. nynaeve confesses her love, lans all no i cannot, i cannot offer anything. it ends up that his parents had the throne but his ... there was scheming. His uncles wife wrecked everything, she escaped with her baby into the blight, lans cousin, nobodys seen or heard of them, moiraine suspects isam might be alive but GASP keeps it from lan. the seven towers crumbled, lan has a death wish, he believes hes the only one left so must die.

lord agelmar wishes lan would rise up the banner of the golden crane because everything about the blight is crumbling, lans like no, i have a new oath now with moiraine. lord ingtar is a fight me soldier who fanboys after lan. theres a battle going on in tarwins gap they desperately need help for, but lan says he cant. lord agelmar orders ingtar to accompany them to the blight and leave them cuz moiraines like we cant have anyone else come with us.

Paidan fain by this point has rocked up to shienar and tried to wheedle his way into the good graces of lord agelmar but hes all wtf you look like a creeper and throws him in a cell. Moiraines like I need to question him at some point.

moiraine then takes them into the blight to find the green man who can take them to the eye of the world. the green man rocks up, hes made of vines and flowers, takes them to the eye. two forsaken rock up. moiraine tries to fight, is knocked out, nynaeve and lan get knocked out, the boys run. the green man is destroyed by the forsaken. rand ends up destroying the forsaken, goes into the eye, channels the male source in there, realises he can channel, has a fight with the dark one - whose still bound under the seals, but rand believes he ended the dark one and its done. comes out, the others are recovering. brings out an old banner from the eye thats the dragons banner, broken seals from the dark ones prison, and the horn of valere. moiraine is all, we need to take these to tar valon. rands all, you do that, but im done with aes sedai, im not going to tar valon. im done. the dark ones dead and im going to do my own thing. he turns to egwene who backs away from him when he said he channeled, then she bursts into tears and hugs him and says shes sorry.

they return to shienar, fal dara, where there was a miracle in tarwins gap where they believed they saw the creator and that the light took on flesh - they saw an apparition of a man they didnt know as rand fighting the battle he fought. ingtars flipping his shit because he missed the battle while accompanying them, and then not even being able to accompany them the entire way. After all of his talking about going after a week rand is still there, finishing his sword practice with Lan in Agelmar's private garden and meets up with Egwene. He tells her that he will go away. Egwene asks him to come to Tar Valon with her and Nynaeve, itll totes be fun, I mean theres the red ajah and shit wholl attack him if they know but hey itll be fun, but Rand refuses. He says he'll never channel again. When she asks him if he'll be going home, he tells her that he'll never go home.

Moiraine is underneath Agelmar's private garden. She uses her blue teardrop thing she wears on her forehead to focus her eavesdropping on Rand and Egwene. Using it to eavesdrop was the first use of the One Power she had learned as a young girl in the royal palaces of Cairhieren.

Smiling, she says, "The Prophecies will be fulfilled. The Dragon is Reborn."

the end.

#wheel of time #eye of the world #spoilers #i love her #she has a lot of feels with this series if that isn't obvious #I remembered everything with Lan and Nynaeve though because they're my favorites #rand #mat #perrin #moiraine #lan #nynaeve #thom #aes sedai #my gf is both a writer and history major and this is how she talks when it's just me

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anokaiwritingblog · 4 years

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Oh hey. I forgot I have a writing blog. Here’s a WIP of my short story collection for my creative writing class. It’s a WIP for one of my major ideas I want to do.

Once every century, it is said that the planets of the solar system align perfectly. In a perfect row, they cast upon the ultimate shadow upon one another; opening the gates to other realms far from our own. It was said that the fallen god rose from this gate and set his sights on destroying our system just like his own. But where evil went, goodness was sure to follow. Out from this gate came the Holy Maiden and her summoned knight. Together, they sealed away the fallen god and cast light back into our system. The two understood that the battle was far from over. “Catch a fish for a man, he would eat for a day. Teach the man how to fish, and he eats for a lifetime.” Despite their love for each other, the Holy Maiden and her summoned knight agreed to go on separate pilgrimages to spread their teachings. The Holy Maiden remained in our system and founded us, the Holy Order, to pass on her teachings and traditions to future Holy Maidens. Her summoned knight, on the other hand, returned into the gate and spread his words to the numerous realms behind the gate. With their sacrifice, we have prevented the fallen god’s awakening over a thousand times…

“Ay yo… so, like… cool lore but like… pretty cringy not gonna lie. You lost me at the “aligning of the planets” bit. It went from horoscope bullshit to cliched pre-teen novels with a bit of a JRPG elements in there,” a voice spoke out, breaking the breathtaking spell that weighed heavy in this beautifully painted dream.

The wind blew soft through the empty courtyard as no one said anything. In a walled-off garden stood seven bodies, each facing each other in a circle with a pond that separated each figure. Each stood on their own path that was surrounded by the water on each side but behind. A mini pier if you wish to imagine. The water was clear, yet the light was too blinding to see past the surface. All seven figures were outlined well enough to show that they were all women, yet a shadow covered their faces to remain a mystery to one another. Sitting above all this was a pink-haired woman. Her hair was braided back and looked far too youthful to be talking like an elder. Her prink eyes scanned each woman to search for the back talker, a glare like a dagger and on edge. Despite that, she kept an icy façade.

“Who cut me off? Head Nun of the Holy Order?” the pink-haired woman spoke up, looking down at the crowd of women below her.

“Uh, me.”

Slicing through the air, the Head Nun’s eyes locked on to the woman who spoke up; her hand raised slightly while maintaining the image of being smaller than what she was. Her limbs were tightly held together like a defensive turtle yet flashing a Chester cat grin in reception of the attention. “No offense lady but I felt like I heard this exact same plot with some gacha game I played last month. Can we just skip all this tutorial nonsense to get to the fuckin’ point already?” the woman continued, her blunt and straightforward words not matching the lowkey appearance she was trying to give off.

“Oh! You played Fate/Grand Order too? I’ve been trying to pull Gilgamesh for my team for months,” the woman on the right of the back talker chimed in. Though she was covered in shadow, the third party was animatedly clapping her hands together in excitement that she found a companion who played the same game.

“Eh, I stopped after two months. The drop rates are insane for that game and you don’t get enough of the in-game currency. I prefer Epic Seven since you actually win the gamble in summoning a strong hero-“

“Silence!”

Slamming her hand against the armrest of her chair, the Head Nun demanded all attention back onto her. The sound of flesh against marble echoing throughout this supernatural courtyard. Zeroing in out the outlier, the Head Nun sized her up before letting out a scoff. Receiving this judgmental look was a young woman of 21 years. If she never stood by herself, she might have blended in with a crowd with her rather ordinary looks. Brown hair, matching brown eyes, and a pair of glasses. Tell that description to any sketch artist and they would draw any other woman. One in five women look exactly like her. Was that statistically correct? Of course not, but most would believe it these days.

The nun craned her neck over these seven girls, peering down with arrogance. Who would have thought that the bold one in this group wasn’t the goth but this… loser. Despite not being affected by the spell, the rebel was overseen like the shadow of her chair or the tree’s. “Are you done speaking over me?”

“No, actually. You aren’t hurrying the fuck up and you rudely cut me off from having a pleasant and stimulating conversation from my neighbor here,” the woman said, “If you aren’t going to tell me what my horoscope is, I don’t want to hear another hour of lore.” From her sides, the woman could hear the reactions from the other girls who listen in to this back and forth. Some ‘tsk’ from her disrespectful actions while others acted a bit shocked. Of course, there were those who snickered from the show while one seemed to be rather disinterested. Tough crowd… To be fair, she wasn’t normally as blunt as she was today. She knew when to keep things to herself but quite frankly, this lady was going on for the last hour about prophecies and cosmic evils. This nun sounds like those writers who only focus on worldbuilding and not writing their story.

“Hurry up? We’re talking about the end of the world- YOUR world. This “lore” is vital. People’s lives are at stake with this information, Two,” the Head Nun said.

“Shit, really? Then why don’t you act it? Literally… no agency. This is the part where a creative writing teacher tells you “show don’t tell”,” Two answered right back; sarcasm dripping from every syllable. She wanted to correct the hag. Her name was Mia, but she understood there was anonymity for a reason. She was tactless, not stupid. Well, Mia would argue she had some tact, but her patience ran thin do this grossly, mishandled magic society. She thought those campy young adult books with groups run by idiots were meant to be… you know, fiction?

It all started right when Mia got to bed. She just got home from a long shift at work and all she wanted was nothing more than lay in bed. And that she did once she took an evening shower before bed. It was normal, everyday stuff for the third-year college student. She had school tomorrow and Mia just wanted to rest her aching body. As soon as her head hit the pillow, she opened her eyes to a completely new world. Looking around, she found herself not alone. There was one other person with her face covered and the pink-haired woman as well. Mia was greeted as “Two” and was told to wait for the other five to show.

That was an hour wasted in waiting and add in the additional hour for the hefty speech, we got our recipe for an irritated Mia. She didn’t go to bed just to stand up for two hours for some fantasy bullshit. Any other time? Sure. It’s cool. But now??? WHEN SHE HAS A TEST TOMORROW?! INCONVENIENT! It killed Mia since this was pretty fucking cool and different from the norm. Everyone dreams of being picked the chosen one but, come on… this was too predictable. If you read a fantasy book or consumed any fantasy media before, then you know what’s going on.

“Rude child. This information isn’t something as trivial as a novel,” the Head Nun spoke, looking down at Mia like a haughty teacher.

“I’m gonna assume that we’re all candidates in being chosen as the new Holy Maiden. We chose our knights or whatever. Compete and whoever wins must reseal the fallen god then tada! Happy ending! Yay!” Mia said. She even raised her hand at the ‘yay’ portion of her phrase. “Listen dude, I play too many games and read a shit ton of books for this. Can we please not do this while I’m in my pajamas?” Mia said, practically begging to be released from this mild inconvenience.

“… You guys weren’t exactly chosen. The universe brought you to us…” the Head Nun spoke, not really arguing with what Mia said. There was a cocky grin on Mia’s face as she just couldn’t help but find it funny how she got some otherworldly person tongue-tied.

“A lottery system huh… sounds about right. An NPC like me wouldn’t be chosen normally… I’m way too smart to be a main character,” Mia thought. She glances to the side for a moment before back on the show.

“Well… I’ll work with Two on this point and speed things up. Time is of the essence,” the head nun spoke, acting as if she was graciously fulfilling Mia’s wish. At this point, Mia didn’t care. Whatever helped the nun feel powerful or whatever… “As Two pointed out, all seven of you are candidates for becoming the new Holy Maiden. You will come into this realm three times a week for your lessons to strengthen your magic and during your regular days of the week, you seven will compete with one another. Your knights are the extension of your magic. When one knight trumps the other, they prove you are the strongest magic user and your defeated candidate is knocked out of the running. This continues until the last one is standing,” the nun explained, “We have hidden your faces and names from each other to keep you guys from cheating and attacking each other when you aren’t ready for combat. If you wish to fight, it’s up to you guys to discuss how to go about it.”

“A battle royal? I thought dystopian novels where kids kill each other in a game was out of fashion? I mean- they already got the Mirai Nikki vibe with the covered faces in the central hub…” Mia thought. She laughed under her breath with mild amusement at the situation. She decided to keep her thoughts hidden now as she surveys the competition. She wasn’t sure if she was going to take this seriously, but she thought she should start hiding her thoughts on the matter now. “The Head Nun never said we couldn’t figure out each other’s identity and jump them… nor any etiquettes of battle… how curious,” she continued her train of thought as she waited for the nun to finish.

“We’ll now do the summoning ritual. One, please kneel down and place your hand into the water to help your knight rise,” the Head Nun spoke. One looked around confused by the order, but she soon nervously did as she was told. She knelt and placed her hand inside. There was a good pause before One jolted. Slowly, One stood up to her feet as a tall figure rose from the water. Just like the girls, his face was hidden from everyone else but his master, no doubt. But his figure was very much noticeable.

“YO! Did you just summon a furry?!” Mia exclaimed before bursting out laughing. She pointed a finger at the girl next to her in a mocking fashion. While she couldn’t see the competition, Mia could at least see a pair of fuzzy dog ears on the knight’s head. But despite her words, Mia knew that, realistically, this knight was most likely a beast man or even a werewolf. She simply didn’t want to lose this chance to taunt her competition.

“Two! Please restrain yourself and respect your fellow maidens and their knights,” the Head Nun spoke. The pink-haired woman coughing into her hand to break up the interaction. “Now, for the love of God. Please shut up, kneel, and summon your knight.”

“Damn, at least ask for my consent before forcing me on my knees,” Mia muttered before kneeling as instructed. She felt rather stupid but seeing how the first maiden got a knight, Mia decided to just trust the action. She submerged her hand in the opaque lake. It was wet alright. Yet despite being in spitting distance to the surface, Mia couldn’t see past her reflection. “Come on RNG don’t fail me now. A hot guy would do wonders for my mental health,” Mia joked, “I hope re-rolls are free.”

On the edge of non-existence and existence, a subconscious mind rose to consciousness once more. He drowns in nothingness and breaths in hopelessness.

There was no sky nor ground to define his abysmal prison. Not even a memory to keep him company.

A hand reached out from above. A hand surrounded by light and a promise of warmth. He attempted to reach for it, yet he was restricted from moving and was forced to watch another steal the opportunity from the shadow. He watched the pair of hands meet and just like that, the light was gone.

He sank deeper into the depths of this unholy waiting room.

Yet again, a hand was extended from the dark with the temptation of freedom. Cautious to reach for it after the first time, he looked around for others who wished to take it. Many came and all walked away. No one wanted to take this hand.

He made an attempt to take it, if only to escape, but found that he was unable to pry himself free. Defeated, he decided to give up on the opportunity. It was pointless anyways.

Left unheld, the hand does not reel empty handed. No. Instead, it curled its fingers until one finger remained up.

One big ‘fuck you’.

What the fuck? So much for an inviting presence. Who did this person think they are? It wasn’t like he didn’t try to take their hand. But seeing this middle finger dangling in front of him like a fishhook with bait, he reached for it once more to drag the hand down into the depths with him. He was tied in place but after some furious tugs, he was freed with a pop.

Taking the hand, it became evident that the one getting snatched wasn’t them but him. Curled fingers shifted forms into a vice grip around his wrist upon skin contact. The dark veil that covered him were ripped off in that instance. Lights, sounds, textures, tastes, and smells flooded his senses as he became a person once again.

Planting both feet on the ground, Mia used both hands to reel up her prey. This summoning was nothing graceful like the girl next to her. It was primal and chaotic as Mia’s partner was floundering under the water. So much for a knight in shining armor. This guy isn’t fighting any dragons anytime soon if he’s having difficulty wrestling against an inanimate substance.

Letting out a battle cry, Mia used all her strength to bring her knight to the surface and onto the pier with her. It wasn’t his entire body but enough of it was on land that it was easier to drag the rest of him out with less trouble. Mia fell backwards on her butt and was slightly out of breath after that intensive ritual. Shiiiit. Carrying a body is a lot harder than it looks kids! Don’t trust what you see on TV. The more you knowミ★

Mia was the image of ‘tired’ with her slightly flushed cheeks and skewed. Fanning herself, she patiently waited for the man she pulled out to make the first move, yet he was belly-down, still as a door nail. For someone who had a lot of energy to fight against help, he suddenly became as complacent as a kitten.

Oh fuck... he isn’t dead, is he? Cause that’ll be pretty awkward ngl ┐(´-｀)┌

Mia leaned forward to inspect what she pulled out. She lifted his pale arm to search for a pulse. It was cold to the touch and she couldn’t tell if the steady thud she felt was his or an echo of her own. Upon letting it go, it limply fell to the ground with no flinch from him. Crap. Don’t tell her that she accidentally pulled out a dead body?! Well, Mia knew that pulling trash can happen during fishing mini games but she thought that this more of a “guarantee knight summoning” deal. Mia refused to believe that she waited five humiliating minutes waiting just to pull out a corpse. She wants a refund, god damn it!

Moving his head, Mia planned to check his pulse from his neck to double check if he was dead. There was no resistance in the action, yet she found herself meeting a pair of responsive red eyes peaking from between snowy white hair. The two of them stared at each other for a moment as they both seemed like caught criminals in the middle of a crime. The man’s chest raised up and down as he breaths; a piece of evidence that doesn’t escape Mia’s attention. He’s…

“HE’S HOT!!!”

Scrambling to her feet, Mia put both her hands in the air and let out her victory screech to the worried silhouettes surrounding her. No wait- she should be yelling how he was alive, not his appearance. Yet here she was, doing a victory dance on top of her knight in a pair of polka dotted pajamas. Give her a pitchfork and a tail then you got the image of an imp dancing on a grave. “Bro! He’s so hot... Edward Cullen lookin’ ass- I mean, not like the musty looking Robert Patterson version but how you imagine he look like based on the description,” Mia explained to anyone listening with a wildly inaccurate and vague description of the man. She waved her arms animatedly as she gossiped with her peers with the person in question crawling to his feet.

“Dude, that should be the last of your concerns,” Five said.

“I think you should make sure he’s okay…” Seven said, joining Five in expressing concern.

“Whoa there! You can’t really blame my maiden here for getting hung up on my dashing good looks. Dead or alive, you’ll notice my face first before anything else.”

Laying a heavy hand on Mia’s right shoulder, the man wrapped his arm around the woman to stand in solidarity it her. Surprised by the action, Mia tilt her head to the side to look at her knight to judge which side he was playing on. She locked eyes with him once more but not on accident this time. His touch was uncomfortable, yet she doesn’t push him away. They were a pair of souls with two different goals yet had a silent agreement to meet in the middle for the moment.

“Good to see you again, Catherine. You hardly look over two thousand years old,” Mia’s knight said, being the first to break their line of sight to look at the Head Nun. The nun sneered as the source of her stress doubled over the course of ten minutes.

“Ashley…” the Head Nun said, nearly hissing out the name. Her knuckles were turning white due to how tightly she held onto her armrest.

“Ash,” he corrected her, with equal amount of distaste in return. Ash was smiling but he on edge just like the Head Nun. But this rivalry was interrupted when Mia pinched Ash’s hand to catch his attention. He looked back down to receive Mia’s disapproving expression at his brief quip with the Head Nun. It seemed hypocritical that Mia was suddenly policing his attitude considering she was flaunting on the competition, but Ash clocked on what’s making her step in. “It’s okay,” Ash said, leaning down to whisper into Mia’s left ear, “This was just between me and her. No one heard me use my name. Not like it matters.”

“I’m just disappointed that you don’t have a chainsaw arm,” Mia whispered back, pretending she never had that concern by throwing out a seemingly random thought. Ash stared at her as if she was insane and as if to say ‘what are you talking about’ with expressions alone. “What? You never seen the Evil Dead franchise?” Mia whispered, “Not a fan of zombies movies?”

“You watched me rise from the depths, fight other knights, and you’re asking me if I’ve seen a movie?” Ash said, in disbelief at her question yet finding himself amused by it at the same time.

“I take it that you don’t have Netflix in the void then.”

Watching the duo snicker and conspire with each other like a pair of high school delinquents, the Head Nun rubbed her forehead as a migraine began to surface. She was losing control once again thanks to double trouble. Even the other girls who were patiently waiting began talking among each other. “Oh my god… like I thought, this was the worst combination I’ve ever seen in my lifetime…,” the Head Nun muttered to herself. She covered her face as she shook her head slowly as if she was contemplating something. “I didn’t realize it would be this bad… Out of all the times for that guy to make an appearance, he had to end up with her,” she continued muttering before ultimately lifting her head to look down at Mia and her summoned knight. The Head Nun needed to separate them. “Ah, Two? I don’t mean to disturb your… fun. But you summoned one of the more… troublesome knights considering his background. I’ll allow you to “re-roll”. How does that sound?” the Head Nun spoke, her voice sickening sweet and obviously fake.

Mia and Ash quickly turned to look at each other for how their partner would react. They wordlessly conversed with Mia gesturing the two of them then to the Head Nun. Ash’s only reply was an uncaring shrug but ended up nervously shaking off the water that stuck to his hair to appear distracted. “Yeah… no deal, Howie Mandel,” Mia said, trailing off for a moment to gauge last minute expressions from Ash before turning her full attention on the Head Nun. “You doing that makes me want to stick with Mr. Abominable Albino even more,” she said.

“Abominable Albino?” Ash said. He had a hand over his chest and appeared almost offending by the alliteration. He was hardly offended by being called such a thing but the fact that Mia wasted a braincell to make an awful pun in the middle of a fantastical end-of-the-world scenario.

“Whenever some untrustworthy figure makes some inflammatory comment about one of the leads, they’re obviously doing that to cause aa divide between the leads for their own benefit,” Mia continued as she ignored Ash’s offense to her words. She waved her hand in the air as if to disperse the fog of misinformation. “You even had a mini aside moment where you muttered to the readers that there’s something more about Ash!”

“Pardon?”

The Head Nun looked completely lost as Mia’s rambling turned to the meta and spoke about invisible audience members. But just like Ash, Mia ignored her words to continue her spiel. “And even if he’s a piece of shit. Worthless. Good for nothing. Pathetic. Dead weight. Only a pretty vase-“

“Okay. I think she gets it already,” Ash said, cutting in as the terms began to pile in his heart. He squeezed Mia’s shoulder to have her move on to the point.

“I will never give him up,” Mia said.

“And... why is that?” the Head Nun asked, wringing her dress in fear that Mia figured something out that she wasn’t supposed to.

“Because he is hot. I made that pretty clear since the beginning,” Mia said. She held her head high and mighty with not even a hint of shame. For a moment, Ash was about to feel touched by Mia coming to his defense. Touched enough that it would make him loyal to her and act as a spark to a turbulent but heartfelt young adult love story which would turn into a mildly popular trilogy with an eventual movie deal before fading into obscurity. But the curtains closed on that sparkling yet oddly specific future as Ash realized that he was stuck with the weird kid. “I mean- I guess I value him as a person too… or something. Power of belief or whatever inspirational term author’s like to use to tug on heartstrings.”

#my writing #this is isekai believe it or not #writer on tumblr #pov you're my classmate who sees me uploading this to our blackboard discussion board

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alligaytorswamp · 3 years

Note

yellow , green , blue, turquoise , onyx , fuchsia , cream , mauve ( also genshin) & plum B)))

hey hi hello >:)

green: do you have a favourite flower?

nah i dont differentiate them.. every flower is just a flower to me jkhasjkdhkj...

if the flower is purple it gets extra points tho

blue: preferred type of weather?

rain!!! thunderstorms!!! <333

turquoise: favorite sea animal?

penguins or turtles :p

onyx: do you still play Minecraft?

nope, never did

fuchsia: favorite land animal?

cream: any piercings or tattoos? do you want any?

i have a helix one but it got fucked up.. so it looks weird :(

would love to fix it one day.. or maybe get rid of it completely hhh

no tattoos but i want some yes heheeheh

some longer answers will be under the cut jkahdsjkad

plum: a food you've never tried

oi.. dats like a lot of things... ;;

well I've never had anything "Chinese"/"Mexican"/idk what else people mention in a similar manner... i hear English-speaking folks refer to these.. "types" and yep never had any of that. also like.. any food chains that just don't exist in Russia? obv nope......... there is probably an insane amount of stuff I haven't tried, I'm picky and literally just eat at home 99% of the time so-

yellow: name of an artist you think is underappreciated

gonna give a dumb ass answer but... i can't...? i don't really know how much one should be "appreciated", like what is the "right amount" and whether or not this person receives it. the amount of notes/likes doesn't always represent that and also i don't look there at all.. also this one random artist can have multiple accs on different platforms with different engagements and all that... so how do i really know what's up with them? and once again i don't think i sit around thinking Damn this person needs more likes !! .. i just like/rb whatever i want and it's epic lashdjlksajdlk also i'm not sure if i have strong attachments to certain creators.. (at this point that is. i used to and some of it backfired lmao) ... the only attachments i have r ppl i'm friends with which is U Know... considered the right answer to this question and an adequate person would do just that but damn none of yall getting a free promo wtf 🙄 and i feel like mentioning one friend could lead to upsetting another or like .. i could just forget to tag someone... or I would waste time trying to figure out if it would be ok to mention them in an ask like this one and probably would decide against it anyways just not to bother anybody ....

and is getting tagged in a post saying u r underappreciated even a compliment? because i for one am not too sure about that........... much to think about uh huh

mauve: any unpopular opinions?

we entered danger zone.................... beware :з

uhhh well first of all I think childe x zhongli is like the most pathetic and boring "default" pairing this fandom came up with. they have 0 chemistry and I just hate everything about it. as much as I headcanon both as queers... together romantically it feels like 2 straight men put together by ya*i fans............ also before i blacklisted to ship and voluntarily looked through the ship tag... every post felt like a hard ooc. i could not understand what childe or zhongli are supposed to be as individuals, what they have in common, what kind of dynamic they have. deadass most crack ships with 0 interactions have more flavor than this tragedy

eng VAs are great people and appreciate their work but whoever decides the voices ain't doing it right. every male character sounds like a middle-aged white man.. and most of the youngest characters sound like very obvious adults trying to pretend to be babies. all of it irks me so bad god.. and there are so many characters that lose their little spark in eng........ (yet in korean and chinese they're completely fine??)

all of the playable adult male characters are shitty people in one way or another. none of them are good. they have reasons and different perspectives, yes, but they suck. every single one of them. stop ignoring it or trying to say only some are evil. none of them are inherently terrible.. but they're not these precious and righteous individuals. they're men.................... that says a lot, actually. :\

and as for women? god i hate the idea that they're all so uninteresting and weak. lichrally just a bunch of girlbosses, morals of most could be questioned as well... anyways some of the girls not having extremely dramatic stories doesn't make them any less cool. let them be

also all archons suck it's ok. you can still love them while acknowledging that they've done some shit. ALSO stop demonizing venti .. and now baal, while praising zhongli- he's an old loser stop lying to yourself. i hate when people present him as the only good archon, the voice of reason who is just so cool and collected but also ahh so cutely silly about mora !!!............. bitch the story quest of liyue is just one zhongli-is-a-fucking-moron campaign idk did yall skip it or something............ and even then it's ok to like him, he does have his logic/reasons/beliefs that justify his actions... he is not a good guy or archon tho.

shipping archons/adepti/whatever the fuck that isn't a basic human with a basic human is super weird. i mean the power dynamic will be completely fucked and ages? lord almighty... basically mortals should stay with mortals... the rest goes to baby jail except maybe ganyu she's a good girl

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh idk what else.................

maybe.. ahha... well.............. with how people hype up any vague new character that is leaked and declare how they will skip every banner ever for them - even tho all we know is... how the character looks like? it feels a bit too much. like truly what's the point of going crazy and then screaming at mihoyo every 3 seconds over some character that could be fake for all we know, or maybe they'll be a support you don't need, or they have a weapon you don't like to use.... can't you just wait till we get official info? jesus lawd- but regardless.......................... where is the same energy for baizhu :)

the man is literally in the game and people manage to forget him even in conversations about dendro specifically- how the fuck is that even real-

thanks for watching everybody don't forget to subscribe smash that like button and hit the notification bell ^_^

#now this is a lot adlaksjdlk #SORRY #also thank u ahjskadhdjskahdjksahdkj #ask adry #rottfestt #ask game

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rpmemesbyarat · 4 years

Conversation

RP meme from Scream Queens Ep 1 "Pilot" & Ep 2 "Hell Week"(Note: Offensive content, use at own discretion)

Something really bad happened.

Did you just get your period all over yourself?

This isn't my blood.

Who told you you could have a baby here tonight?

I'm sure I can walk if I can just get some Gatorade.

I don't care if you can walk.

How are we supposed to get you to the front door without everyone seeing you all gross and postpartum?

No one wants to see that at a party.

This is super embarrassing.

I didn't even know I was pregnant.

You guys, they're playing "Waterfalls."

Is that a baby? Amazing.

I am not missing "Waterfalls" for this. "Waterfalls" is my jam.

Give the baby some mojito to quiet it down.

How do you know she's dead?

These are my minions. I don't know their names. I don't want to know their names.

I have a colonic at 10

Life is a class system.

Oh, still a lot of puke to scrub.

Yeah, you have an amazing skill at telling people what they need to hear.

I'm sorry. Did I ask you to pull down my panties and blow a compliment up my butt?

I hate sororities, and I hate you.

First of all, I'm not a lesbian.

You see, out in the real world, people just don't talk that way to other people. It's not normal.

Well, that sure sounds suspicious.

No one forced that goat to get as drunk as it got.

Historically, short people are sneaky backstabbers, like Napoleon or Paul Shaffer.

I could actually handle that you're built like a Thai ladyboy, but what I can't stand is that you think you're my heir apparent.

Don't you want me to spray-tan you?

I would honestly rather not have you around.

The police still can't figure out who filled that tank with hydrochloric acid.

It's good enough for me, and the D.A., who, last I heard, considers the case closed.

What is that skirt?

Your organization might want to find a lawyer.

I'm a pretty smart cookie.

I would not get personal with me, sweetheart.

I don't fight fair.

I am sentimental.

Look, girls are vicious, okay?

I don't have any of my own memories.

Just like we planned. Three-second silent hug, and then you leave.

Ooh, somebody call CSI, because there was a murder scene in that bathroom.

Someone puked in the sink and I'm pretty sure I saw an actual ringworm climbing up the wall. I'm not afraid of anything, but that bathroom scared the crap out of me.

This is gonna be a year of infinite possibilities.

Hold this. It's too heavy.

You didn't knock!

Look at them. They're the dregs of society.

Each one of these gashes is worse than the next.

She smells like hot dog water, and probably sprained her neck giving blumpkins down at the local bowling alley.

Look, I'm not saying that all heterosexual sex is rape. I'm saying all heterosexual sex is gross, and that deep down, every woman knows this.

All that girl's after is a whole lot of bikini burger.

Hey, girl, can I just ask you, what's up with your outfit?

God knows what they're talking about, basic bitches.

What fresh hell is this?

I need you to stay popular, 'cause if you want to stay at the top of the list of the pieces of ass I'm getting, there's criteria. And the criteria is you got to be popular.

Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there, because I'm getting really pissed off.

Stop fake crying.

Anyone you dated would be popular. I mean, they would be popular because they're dating you.

My ego, it's super strong, ok, but it's not strong enough that I can just go around dating garbage people.

Like, yes, I could find a random girl who wasn't popular, and, yes, if I started dating her she would then become popular.

But you said you loved me.

I do sort of love you.

I would love you a lot more if other people loved you, too.

Okay, I need you to leave because you're bumming me out

We're just trying to have a nice day hitting golf balls at hippies.

Pretty girls, like you and me.

That's why I'm gonna burn your face off.

Ugh! You burned the milk!

Next time, I get you fired, or worse.

Actually, I just want a regular coffee. Those white girl pumpkin spice lattes annoy me.

I like to think of myself, uh, as an investigative reporter.

I had to get a restraining order.

I tend to get a bit passionate about things.

Look, you intentionally led me on.

You kept acting like you liked me just so you could humiliate me.

Enter, ye who dare.

I love a creepy collage.

It's about kicking the living crap out of someone when they disrespect you.

I was just in your room, where I noticed you have a sizeable shrine with evil burning candles, photos of me with my face scratched out and pairs of my stolen panties.

How about I just drown you in it?

Well, of course she's dead! You just burned her face off!

You don't die from getting your face burned off.

There's a dead woman in your kitchen.

I'm going to the authorities.

That's not how I saw it. And my witnesses agree.

You're an awful person.

Who wants cocktails?

How did my life turn into this?

Have you seen the way girls dress on this campus?

I'm sitting in the same office I used to throw bricks into.

You're awful in bed. Are you aware?

I'm gonna take a pair of your panties.

I'm gonna barf on your face unless you get out of here.

Try to figure out who gave you such disgusting mommy issues.

You loaded a dead body into a freezer.

What are you proposing?

I want to help you with your exposé, secretly feed you info.

You need eyes on the inside.

I don't know what to do with the body.

Are you saying dead bodies don't turn you on?

You are so lame, you know that?

God, I love all that death stuff.

Show me the body.

Show me the dead body.

This blood oath will ensure solidarity among us. We are all related now.

I just Googled "blood oath" and this is what came up.

What does this oath even mean?

I just need you all to not say anything about what happened, and I figured a blood oath was cheaper than buying you all presents.

Wait, what about STDs?

Idiot, you don't get STDs from blood oaths.

You get STDs from dirty toilet seats and drinking the water in Mexico.

Um, "STD" stands for "sexually transmitted disease," which means that it's transmitted sexually.

When were you in Mexico?

You know what, forget the blood oath.

I can't stay silent!

I'm calling my mom, and I'm going home.

Okay, Pissy Spacek, you and I have a few differences we need to iron out.

I want you to be one of my minions.

It's the gateway to the top of the heap.

You put on a good front, but you're miserable.

Don't you think any of that has anything to do with the fact that you've created an atmosphere based solely on negativity and raw ambition?

Can we talk for real for a second, please?

I mean, you're so confident without being mean. What antidepressants are you on?

Don't you see that all that's happened isn't a crisis? It's an opportunity.

Yeah, no, I tried. See, I really tried. But all of this flowery, peace-on-Earth crap, it makes me want to puke.

You haven't even seen half of what I'm capable of!

Totally spit in your coffee, bitch.

I don't mean to be a contrarian, but I'm enjoying this.

Is that killer noises or am I hallucinating?

I'm gonna ask one more time, will you speak up?

What can you tell us about the murder?

There's an exodus right now.

The risks are real, but we need to close ranks.

I don't feel comfortable with a man protecting me. It's representative of the patriarchal, post-colonial culture that encourages violence against women.

We buy a pig and feed it the body. Pigs will eat anything.

Don't go skating on those poop lagoons, because if you fall in, you'll drown in the poop and come springtime, there'll be nothing left of your body.

Here's what you should do. Pulverize her teeth, burn off her fingerprints, and disfigure her face. Once her body is unrecognizable, we can create an incision on her inner thigh and drain out all of her bodily fluids. That'll give us more time to deconstruct the body.

Truly grinding down a body takes a lot of work. You need a really good food processor, and you run the risk of fouling the plumbing, which is why you should only do it if you know how to clear out meat and bones from a drain pipe.

I'm willing to help in any way possible.

You're obviously a psychopath and those ideas are insane!

Why are you trying to terrify us?

Can I call you Mom?

I feel so loved and protected by all of you.

Actually, it's a new pop culture trend where young women desperately in need of role models call other girls they look up to Mom.

I thought you'd be cool with it.

I mean, I did just give you several ways to dispose of a body.

Okay, fine. Just stop talking.

You are so friggin' creepy!

Someone just mowed off a deaf girl's head in our backyard.

I mean, as you can see, I'm not licensed to carry a sidearm.

Wait, so you don't have a gun?

I have pepper spray. And I have a walkie talkie that I can use to call the police, who do have guns.

What good are you?

Get the hell out of there. Run away, real fast.

Now, I would give you my number, but my cell phone is off right now.

If you want the place clean, maybe you shouldn't have burned the maid's face off.

Don't you wonder what's in there?

People have been whispering about that house for years, that it's haunted, that something really bad happened. I mean, there's no way there isn't some real-life story behind it, right?

I'm gonna have to break in.

I mean, I don't think anyone's gonna get killed in the 30 minutes we make out, right?

Can you stop talking?

You're kind of ruining whatever was good about it.

Please try to understand the situation I'm in.

I don't give a rat's ass about your job.

You know, I find good parenting incredibly attractive.

You're a snoopy little bugger.

Whose bloody clothes are those?

Supposedly, it was a super fun party.

We're all gonna pay for this.

I think it's all crap. Just a myth.

What happened to the baby?

Sometimes I picture myself like Derek Jeter, you know?

I'm gonna choke you out.

There's a serial killer on the loose.

Please don't say you want to choke me.

I'd love having sex with your corpse.

I'm sorry. This isn't working for me.

Well, I sort of am your boyfriend, and I'm protecting you by having sex with you.

No! I don't need a man to protect me.

How could I have wasted this much time?

Is my self-esteem really that low?

I'm sorry. I think we need to take a break.

I need you to leave right now!

You know, it would really help me feel better if I could just crawl into bed with you for a few minutes.

Are you gonna touch my wiener, or you gonna leave my wiener alone?

I'll leave your wiener alone.

Where are your hands?

He has a huge boner!

Why don't you go in there and ogle his big old boner?

Okay, uh, first of all, I'm not gonna go ogle his big old boner, because I'm not gay.

Look, I'm sorry everybody wants to have sex with me. Okay? I can't help that.

I'm hot. Everybody wants to get with this. Women, men, animals in the zoo, plants, probably.

You're gonna have to go right now, 'cause I am breaking up with you.

Excuse me, I broke up with you!

I regretted what I said, and I just wanted to come here and tell you that I am so sorry.

Well, I accept your apology. And now I'm breaking up with you.

Do you know why I'm breaking up with you?

You can't deal with how hot I am.

Sorry, I just broke up with you.

Can you please put some clothes on?

Um, they said, uh, I shouldn't be alone, you know, in case I fall asleep and die.

Can I just get you a robe or something though?

So you're saying I'm the killer?

Okay, this isn't about me thinking you're boyfriend material.

God, I was so gonna go to third base with you tonight, too.

What if we stapled their earlobes?

Private like the parts on a man you like putting in your mouth?

I want to publicly come out as gay on my own.

I mean, you guys have to accept everybody, right?

I actually think that's illegal.

I will come after you, do you understand that? I will destroy you.

I trust you'll consider my offer.

Name one bad thing that ever happened at a Best Buy parking lot.

You're just, like, super attractive.

Um, well, I was trying to be inconspicuous.

It's better than losing your life.

I have a thing for playlists.

Someone's got a poo belly.

Sweet Yeezus, I don't even know where to begin with you.

Bitch, I'm about to smack you so hard, your tampon's gonna pop out.

I heard screaming.

So you think the serial killer is still up there?

Upstairs to get the killer before he gets away!

You just said that you think the killer is up there, and that's where you want to go?

This is freakin' terrifying!

The killer is in the house! You hear me?

I need my damn inhaler.

What, am I supposed to be scared?

Don't even come out. We plan on getting drunk, and I don't want your bad attitude ruining it.

We're headed down to White Stallion to pick up some sluts, baby!

Yes, okay, I burned her slightly, but stop saying that I killed her.

That was a tragic accident.

I am a kind and devoted and loving friend to all.

I'm not some crazed psychopath.

Maybe you're the killer.

I will not be put on trial.

The truth is we don't know who the killer is, and, yes, I suppose it could be someone in this room.

You want to go first?

I banged, like, 50 chicks.

What took you so long?

#rp meme #rp memes #rp starters #roleplay memes #roleplay meme #roleplay starters #scream queens

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lilacmoon83 · 4 years

Text

Clarity

Also on Fanfiction.net and A03

Chapter 7: Disbelief

"He's right, Emma…" Mary Margaret finally spoke, as the blonde turned to look at her best friend. But what she saw alarmed her. She had seen tell tale signs of this over the past few weeks since she and David had started their relationship amidst his divorce. She had seen a boldness and confidence in her best friend that had not been there before, but she had been reluctant to acknowledge it, since she had been hell bent on denying that David was good for her, let alone that their love might be real. Acknowledging that meant facing truths that Emma was not ready for

And seeing her best friend now look at her with watery eyes filled with more love than Emma had ever known was something she was also not ready for.

"It's true…" Mary Margaret said tearfully.

"She's right Mom...it's true and they have their memories back now!" Henry called, as he came out of the bathroom with David and ran up to her. He hugged her around the waist and she hugged him too.

"Henry...I know that you want it to be true, but it just can't be," Emma said.

"Why won't you believe? And why should I believe you when you lied to me?" Henry asked in frustration.

"Henry…" she started to say.

"It's real…" he said, as he opened the book to a page that showed Rumpelstiltskin and a young Baelfire.

"This is you, isn't it?" he asked. Neal smiled.

"Yeah…" he said, as he knelt beside him.

"Wow...you figured all this out on your own?" he asked in amazement. Henry shrugged.

"He is a very smart little boy," Mary Margaret said fondly.

"It got kind of obvious when I was the only kid growing and passing through grades, while all my friends stayed behind in the previous grade," he said.

"I'm sorry...that must have been hard," Neal replied.

"He's right," Mary Margaret interjected.

"I didn't realize it when I was cursed...but all my students, except Henry, have been in my class for twenty-eight years," she said in amazement.

"Do you hear yourself?" Emma snapped.

"This is insane!" she cried, as she looked at all of them.

"Emma…" David started to say.

"No...you're the last person I need to hear from! You dumped your wife to have an affair with my best friend!" Emma cried.

"That's not true!" Mary Margaret exclaimed.

"He is my husband...not Kathryn's," she said fiercely.

"She's right...I never stood at the altar with Kathryn, but I did stand at one with her, twice in fact," David replied. Emma scoffed.

"She's right...Regina panicked when David woke up and had marriage papers drawn up to keep them apart. I can confirm that and even removing all of the curse stuff, you know from your profession that faking marriage papers is not difficult," Gold reasoned. She sighed.

"You have to admit that even you were skeptical that night when Kathryn just showed up out of the blue, claiming to have no idea her husband had been in a coma for years," he added. That was definitely true and Regina being his emergency contact had never made any sense either.

"Emma...if you want scientific proof of all of this, why don't the three of you just do a DNA test?" Neal asked. They all looked at each other, wondering why none of them had really thought of that.

"That's...that's a really good idea," Mary Margaret agreed.

"Have you forgotten that Henry is with us and Regina has probably filed kidnapping charges against me? I don't think we have time to do a DNA test. We need to get back to Storybrooke," Emma said.

"I doubt she filed them with any law enforcement. She does not want that kind of attention on Storybrooke. Plus, if she did, she knows her adoption of him can come into question," Gold stated.

"What do you mean?" Neal asked.

"I mean that I arranged the adoption...and there were no home follow ups that are usually required with the adoption of a child from the system," Gold replied.

"Did you know he was my son?" Neal asked.

"No...that was all fate, I assure you," Gold replied.

"The system is overwhelmed...kids fall through the cracks all the time," Emma said.

"Yes...and Regina would want to keep it that way. An investigation from them would be bad for her, especially since the biological parents have resurfaced and one that didn't know about him," Gold reasoned.

"He's right...we have just as much leverage on her as she has on us. Maybe more," Mary Margaret agreed. David slipped his arms around her from behind and pulled her close.

"Then we use it. The town might still be cursed, but we're not. And she does not want everyone else to wake up," he said.

"She probably also doesn't want Henry's biological father stepping into the picture either. But I am," Neal said.

"Then you'll be returning to Storybrooke with us?" Gold asked.

"Not for you," Neal replied, as he looked down at his son.

"For him," he stated. That brought a smile to Mary Margaret's face.

"Don't I get a say in that?" Emma questioned.

"Of course you do...but I'm not abandoning him now that I know about him," Neal answered.

"No...just me, right?" she countered.

"I didn't want to!" he cried.

"Then why did you?" she demanded to know.

"Because August told me I had to!" he exclaimed. She pulled back.

"August...you know August?" she asked suspiciously.

"Not until he tracked me down, that night we were supposed to escape to Canada and told me everything," Neal revealed.

"Everything about what?" Emma asked. He rolled his eyes.

"The curse, Emma...the curse! He's from there too," Neal replied.

"Really? Who is he?" Henry asked.

"Uhh...he's Pinocchio," Neal answered. Emma snorted.

"Well, that explains the lying," she quipped.

"Wait...Pinocchio? That doesn't make any sense. How did he get here?" Snow asked. Neal looked at her and a bit uncomfortably.

"The same way Emma did," he answered.

"No...no, that's impossible, because the wardrobe only took one," Snow insisted and David closed his eyes, realizing it before she was willing to accept it.

"They lied to you...it took two," he said.

"I...I could have gone with her?" she croaked and then looked back at her husband.

"We both could have...if we had gone before I went into labor," she realized.

"Never trust a fairy," Gold said.

"I need a drink…" Emma commented, as she sighed.

"So Blue and Geppetto lied to us…" David realized, letting that sink in for a moment.

"So what now?" Henry asked, as they heard a noise at the door. David put his hand up to silence them all, as he crept to the door and put his ear to it. He could hear someone breathing, like they were anxious or out of breath, and opened the door. Jefferson stumbled and fell onto the floor, but David helped him up by picking him up by the shirt.

"I was hoping you'd show up," he growled, as he grabbed him by the collar.

"She made me do it!" Jefferson pleaded.

"So you just do whatever Regina tells you?" David growled, as Snow put her hand on his arm.

"David…" she soothed, as he deflated a little and lightly shoved Jefferson away.

"She told me that if I helped her that I could have my daughter back!" he claimed.

"You know that Regina will never give you what you want. She'll betray you every time. The only way to get your daughter back is for the curse to break," Gold said.

"Tell that to her!" Jefferson hissed, as he pointed at Emma.

"At this rate, the curse will never be broken!" he ranted.

"All the evidence is right in front of her and she won't open her eyes! She doesn't even believe her own son...or her parents," Jefferson added, glaring at her.

"Some Savior," he grumbled.

"Hey…I didn't ask for any of this crap!" she retorted.

"We know you didn't...we never wanted any of this," Snow said, as she grabbed the book and turned to a particular page.

"This…" she said, as she handed the book to the blonde.

"This was supposed to be our life," Snow said tearfully, as she showed her the nursery, which was full of toys and a crib, with a unicorn mobile. The same unicorn mobile in Gold's shop.

"This is insane…" Emma lamented.

"See...she's never going to believe!" Jefferson said.

"Hey!" David hollered.

"Back off...it's a lot and no matter what, even if she doesn't believe it, she's our daughter and you're not going to talk to her like that!" David snapped, surprising Emma.

"And you're lucky that I haven't punched your lights out for kidnapping my wife," he added.

"I told you why I did it! For my daughter! We both have kids we'd do anything for! Don't you think we can find common ground in that?" Jefferson asked.

"Oh so now you want to work with us?" David questioned.

"Do I have much choice? It's either you or the Queen...though I'm starting to question if you really are the lesser of two evils," Jefferson retorted. David snorted.

"Well, keep pondering if you must, but I say we get home to Storybrooke and deal with her head on," he said.

"No need," a voice said coolly, as they all turned to find Regina standing in the doorway.

"Uh oh…" Henry said.

"Uh oh is right, young man," Regina said sternly.

"Emma didn't know I was in the car," Henry told her.

"But when she found out...she didn't turn around and bring you back," Regina accused.

"Excuse me, but I was a little busy looking for Mary Margaret, whom you had kidnapped by your goon!" Emma accused her back.

"Hey…I'm not a goon," Jefferson interjected, but he was ignored, as the two women glared daggers at each other. Regina smirked and then looked at Snow and David.

"If you two think I made your lives hell before...you haven't seen anything yet," she warned, as she looked at Emma.

"If you break my curse, Miss Swan, there will be a war unlike anything you've ever seen," she threatened.

"Mom please…" Henry pleaded.

"You are in enough trouble," she snapped to him.

"He's my son...I have legal custody and there will be no more visitation. I've been nice up until now...but that's over," Regina said. Emma snorted.

"Really? That was nice? Bring it and maybe you don't have as much leverage as you think," Emma argued.

"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked.

"She means me," Neal interjected, as he stepped forward.

"And you are?" she asked. He smirked.

"Henry's biological father...who didn't know about him," Neal replied.

"Who just happens to also be my son," Gold added, enjoying the look of disbelief and the tell tale sign of fear on her face.

"You're joking…" she refuted.

"Oh not at all, dearie. It seems that your little ploy in abducting...Mary Margaret has blown up in your face, spectacularly so," Gold goaded.

"It forced my hand early and led me to my son. Imagine my surprise when it became known that he and Snow and Charming's daughter had a child. The child which you adopted," he said.

"You...you knew…" she accused.

"Oh no...that was fate stepping in and since my son had no idea that Henry existed, he intends to fight for his right to custody or at the very least, visitation," Gold said.

"You can't do this…" Regina hissed.

"Oh we can...so you might want to rethink your little war you intend to wage," he warned. She glared back at him.

"We'll see who wins this war. The curse isn't breaking...not if you want peace," she said.

"Don't worry...your curse is fine or whatever," Emma said, as she looked at David and Mary Margaret.

"It's not like I believe it anyway," she said. Those words crushed them and Henry, as she stormed out.

"Henry...let's go," Regina snapped, as she left.

"Well...that will be an uncomfortable ride back," Gold said, as he looked at his son.

"Uh...give me a few minutes to pack and you two can ride back with me," Neal offered and the couple nodded.

"What about him?" David asked.

"He can ride back with me and Miss Swan, assuming he's ready to pick the right side, because make no mistake, Hatter...you've instigated a war," Gold stated.

"You know I hate her...and if these two are really ready to fight to break this stupid curse, then I'm in too. On your side," Jefferson replied.

"We're going to do whatever it takes to get our daughter to believe and get her back," David assured, as he threaded his fingers with Snow's.

"I hope you mean that...because things may get very ugly," Gold warned ominously, as they prepared to return to Storybrooke.

#Snowing #SnowxCharming #Charming family #Emma Swan #Henry Mills #Regina Mills #Rumplestiltskin #Neal Cassidy #A 7x15 am AU #romance #family #adventure #drama #clarity

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sparkandwolf · 4 years

Text

Calculated Risk

A gift for the wonderful @skylar102.

Pairing: Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale Rating: Explicit Warnings: Sex Pollen, Fuck Or Die, Mildly Dubious Consent. Summary: “Will I survive?” Derek whined behind him, his grip on Stiles' wrist tightening. Stiles couldn’t look at him, knowing one glance might change his mind.

The Queen considered his question, tilting her head at him. “You will survive if you’re in love.”

READ ON AO3 OR UNDER THE CUT

It hadn’t been Stiles’ idea to team up with Derek, it never really was. He would have much rathered the company of, well, literally any other member of the pack. Derek was broody and grumpy and scowled at Stiles more than he thought he deserved. Sure, the looks were justified sometimes, but not every single time he opened his mouth. Derek seemed to have it out for him and Stiles couldn’t figure him out.

It didn’t help that while Stiles wanted to hate Derek’s shitty attitude, he couldn’t help but notice how insanely attractive he was. It should have been illegal, really. He should have had the right to call his dad and have Derek arrested (again) for how ridiculously good looking the guy was. He was six feet of bulging muscles, smooth skin, and actual sex, by definition. Stiles shook his head to clear the very vivid imagery of Derek in his mind as they stopped in front of the lake behind the preserve.

“This is it,” Derek said, motioning toward the water. Stiles looked around and pursed his lips before glancing up at Derek.

“The way into a fairy realm is a lake? I thought it would have been more exciting than that,” Stiles said, his voice dripping with disappointment as he crouched down to let his fingers graze over the water. Before he had a chance to touch it, Derek was hauling up by the back of his shirt. “Hey, man, what the--” Instead of an explanation, Derek kicked a rock into the water. It sizzled, the water bubbling where it landed before the rock came shooting out, directly past Stiles’ head. Stiles’ eyes widened as he followed its trajectory, reaching down to pick it up. He hissed and dropped it, shaking out his hand as it burned.

“The seelie’s don’t like anyone entering without their consent,” Derek muttered as he rolled his eyes in Stiles’ direction.

“No one does,” Stiles joked, rolling his own eyes when Derek glared at him. “C’mon, man. We’re about to enter a portal to another fucking realm! Can’t you at least pretend to be excited?” Stiles scoffed as Derek completely ignored him in favor of grabbing his hand. For the first time, maybe in his life, Stiles was stunned into silence. Derek seemed surprised by it, too, as he turned toward Stiles and raised an eyebrow.

“The portal is going to open any second and we have to go in together. Don’t let go of my hand.” Stiles didn’t have to be told twice as he felt the portal opening, a cool breeze hitting his face on the otherwise windless day. “Ready?” Derek asked, gripping onto Stiles’ hand tighter. Stiles squeezed back as a green glow overtook his vision. He covered his eyes with his unoccupied arm before he felt himself being tugged viciously, like something was trying to pull him away from Derek. He pulled himself closer to Derek, keeping his eyes closed to the brightness around them and wrapping his other arm around Derek’s bicep. He knew it wasn’t the time to think about how large it was in his grip, but that didn’t stop him.

“Derek!” Stiles shouted as he felt his feet hit ground once again, the impact enough to have him tumbling out of Derek’s grip. He landed on his stomach, the breath leaving his lungs at the impact, his hands catching him before his head could slam into the ground. He inhaled deeply and shook the fear out of his head as he felt a comforting hand on his back.

“I’m here, we’re here,” Derek said, his voice sounding distant. Stiles looked up to see him taking in their surroundings with wide eyes. It was beautiful, wherever they had landed. They were surrounded by tangled vines, bright flowers, and the greenest grass Stiles had ever seen. Through a perfect arch of branches, Stiles could see movement behind a hanging sheer cloth. He got up, using Derek’s shoulder to stand and stared, trying to hear what the voices were saying. “I can’t hear them either,” Derek noted as he took a step forward. Stiles reached out and grabbed his arm again, stopping him from moving further. Derek turned to him with a glare.

“Are we sure that’s where we’re supposed to go?” Stiles asked. Derek stared at him and Stiles used the silence to think. He figured that was exactly what Derek wanted him to do when Stiles nodded. “They had to consent for us to be here. They wouldn’t throw us where we weren’t wanted,” Stiles muttered. Derek nodded slowly and took a deep breath before moving forward again. Stiles stayed close behind, observing the way the surroundings seemed to move with them, like everything was alive, swaying in perfect synchrony. He noticed the bushes and moss filling in behind them with every step they took. Stiles tugged on the hem of Derek’s shirt and nodded his head behind them. Derek seemed unconcerned and on his own mission, pulling back the curtain.

“The alpha brought his mate,” a woman said, her voice smoother than silk. Stiles was immediately enamoured by it, even more so when he saw her. She was dressed in leaves and flowers, but only in the most specific of places. Stiles blushed and looked away, opting to stare at the center of Derek’s back, noting the way the material stretched between his shoulder blades. He heard the woman snicker as she waved off the men beside her who Stiles realized were pointing spears at them. Great.

“We’re here for the ataexlor,” Derek said, straight to the point as always. Stiles chanced a glance up at the woman, whose mouth formed a smirk through the tight line of her lips.

“I know why you’re here, Derek Hale,” she sang as she stood, walking delicately down the stone steps leading to her throne. One of the petite women next to her, offered her a hand to guide her down. She accepted it and once she reached the soft grass, she thanked the woman with a messy kiss, the only sound to be heard in the small circle of trees. Stiles licked his lips and felt his heart beating quicker. Derek growled lowly, something only Stiles could probably hear, and Stiles sent him a desperate glance.

“I can’t help it,” Stiles whispered, pushing closer to Derek as the woman pulled off, wiping a thumb across the other woman’s lips. The other woman looked like she was on cloud nine, her eyes rolling to the back of her head and her body shivering erratically. Stiles let out a shaky breath as the woman stepped even closer. Derek stepped to meet her, angling his body in front of Stiles and it didn’t go unnoticed.

“Not his mate, just his…” Derek snarled as the woman reached out a hand toward Stiles’ face and Stiles thought he caught a glimpse of fangs.

“We’re not here to play games, Queen. Deaton said you had the ataexlor and we’re here to claim it,” Derek explained, his voice the epitome of an alpha. Stiles couldn’t let it get to him as it usually did, not when the Queen was eyeing him curiously.

“How is my good friend, Deaton?” Her voice was sickly sweet, but Stiles knew it was an act. She carried herself like so many villains he had faces and he could stand a little taller once he saw her as one. Stiles also knew that she was uninterested in Derek, choosing to keep her perfectly green eyes locked on his.

“As smart as ever,” Stiles chimed. “He didn’t let us leave without giving us your warning label. Don’t eat or drink anything, beware of the… well, everything. And most importantly, don’t fall for the Queen’s tricks,” Stiles listed off, moving so he was beside Derek, an equal party in the confrontation. The Queen’s laughter echoed through the air as the other seelie’s joined in.

“I thought you must be Stiles. I’ve heard about you. The spark of the Hale pack, but the weakest link. Always the protected, never the protector.” Stiles grimaced at the Queen’s own list as he glared. If he could growl like Derek, he would have. He didn’t need to be protected. Before he could say as much, Derek cleared his throat.

“Do you have it or not? Deaton also warned us to get in and get out, with or without the ataexlor,” Derek said, his tone clearly bored. Stiles knew it was all a show. They needed the herb as an antidote to whatever was currently poisoning Lydia’s banshee blood. He held his face steady, though, not willing to risk the Queen finding them out from him. She laughed again, the noise sounding more evil every time it bubbled from her chest.

“Deaton is just a fountain of knowledge, isn’t he?” She said, impressed. Stiles tilted his head at her and nodded in agreement. “He must have told you that all of my gifts come with a price, didn’t he?” Stiles nodded again, this time along with Derek.

“Name your price,” Derek said sternly. He crossed his arms over his chest, his intense gaze never straying from the Queen’s. Unfortunately for Stiles, the Queen’s eyes still bore into his.

“This one,” she said simply. Stiles gaped at her as a growl erupted in Derek’s throat. “Relax, alpha. I just want to give him a… gift,” she said innocently. Derek’s growl didn’t subside as she stepped closer. Derek moved further in front of him and Stiles could see his claws had retracted and ready to slash with one wrong movement. He placed a comforting hand on Derek’s arm and pushed in front of him.

“What kind of gift?” Stiles asked. He wasn't about to say no until he had all of the answers. Derek sent him a pleading glance, like he was asking Stiles to let him handle it. Stiles shook him off, pressing a hand to his chest to hold him back. “I have questions.” The Queen clapped her hands in delight and snapped her fingers. A different woman moved forward, a yellow and blue flower in her hand. Stiles went to reach for it, but Derek grabbed his wrist.

“Stiles,” he said, his tone filled with warning and concern. Stiles shook his head as the Queen grabbed the flower.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Stiles nodded in agreement as he studied it. It looked harmless, but yet, so did she.

“What does it do?” Stiles asked accusingly. The Queen pouted at him and shook her head. “I know you can’t lie to me, so tell me what it will do to me if I take it.” Stiles held himself high, puffing his chest out with an unwavering gaze at the Queen.

She hummed. “It affects everyone differently, so unfortunately for both of us, I can’t answer that question.” Stiles nodded, considering. He licked his lips before taking another step closer. He felt Derek move with him and was reassured by it.

“What do you want me to do with it?” The Queen smirked and held it out in her palm. Her long fingernails were painted green and covered in moss and Stiles thought that Lydia would like that look. At the thought of Lydia, he gulped. “Will it hurt me?” The Queen giggled again, joined in by the group, something that was becoming increasingly more annoying with the tension growing in Stiles’ shoulders.

“To answer your first question, I just want you to smell it. That’s all.” Stiles knew it wasn’t that simple, but he needed to hear her out. “As far as the second, that depends on what you consider to be hurtful, Stiles,” the Queen said smoothly. It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the truth. Stiles glared at her and refocused.

“Will I survive?” Derek whined behind him, his grip on Stiles’ wrist tightening. Stiles couldn’t look at him, knowing one glance might change his mind.

The Queen considered his question, tilting her head at him. “You will survive if you’re in love.” Stiles froze, his heart skipping and the breath pushing out of his lungs. It wasn’t a choice for Stiles anymore. He was frustratingly aware of how close Derek was to him, his back pressing into his shoulder, like a silent plea for him to think it through. Stiles glanced back at him and smiled, shaking his head. If only he knew, Stiles thought sadly.

“Stiles, it’s not worth it…” Derek’s voice trailed off as Stiles leaned forward and breathed in deeply. He felt the barely visible particles enter his system and the sweetest scent he’d ever smelled filled his lungs. His eyes rolled to the back of his head and his head tilted back, his entire body bursting with pleasure, more than he had felt in his entire life. Every hair on his body stood at high alert, his skin tingled and electricity jolted down his spine and straight to his cock. He felt himself harden as his body trembled. It was too much and just enough to have him stumbling back into Derek. His back hit Derek’s solid chest and Stiles gasped. Before he could think about his actions, he turned, grasping onto Derek’s shoulders and gazing into his eyes. His hips pushed forward uncontrollably and he gasped at the feeling. He turned quickly, his face reddening either from embarrassment or the heat now racing through his veins.

“Give Derek the ataexlor and let us leave. Please,” he begged. He needed to get away, away from this realm, away from the Queen, away from Derek. He had to get away from Derek. Even his eyes that were searching Stiles’ caused a surge of pleasure to shoot through his spine. When he turned back to the Queen, she was blurry, covered in a haze of yellow. He blinked quickly before he sent a pleading glance at Derek, who was as clear as ever. “Derek, please!” Stiles yelled as the Queen held out a small vial.

“What is happening to him?” Derek asked as he grabbed the bottle from the Queen. She tilted her head in amusement and waved a hand in dismissal.

“It seems our dear Stiles is in love,” she noted, clearly pleased with herself. Stiles groaned, the pleasure weaving with the pain as his dick pressed uncomfortably to the front of his jeans, begging to be released.

“How do I make it stop?” Derek pleaded, holding Stiles up with an arm around his waist. The light press of Derek’s arm felt like it was burning a line into his skin and he breathed deeply, trying to compose himself enough to focus. He couldn’t seem to focus on anything but Derek, his name spinning around Stiles’ mind like a skipping record.

“Only the one he loves can save him,” she shouted as Derek led him out through the arch, the material brushing his skin like sandpaper. “Let’s see if Stiles is as smart and courageous as I’ve heard.” It was the last thing Stiles heard before the familiar cold breeze hit his face for the second time. He closed his eyes, trying to hold in the sounds of bliss wanting to escape as the frigid air hit his scorching skin. When he opened his eyes, the sun blinded him, but no more than the light that seemed to emanate from Derek. The feeling overtook him as he launched at Derek, pressing his lips into his neck before sucking what might have left a bruise if Derek wasn’t as fast a healer.

“Derek, please, I need--” Derek shook his head abruptly and picked Stiles up, the motion enough to cut off Stiles’ words with a loud moan as he was carried to the jeep a few feet away. With every step, Stiles’ dick slid against the rough cloth of his jeans and he whined, tears springing to his eyes.

“We need to get you to Lydia,” Derek said sternly. The keep rumbled alive and Stiles groaned, throwing his head back against the seat. It felt like a panic attack, like he couldn’t control his breathing and his heartbeat was rising with every second. And all he wanted was for Derek’s hands to be on him, touching him in any way they could. Stiles was lucid enough to think back to Derek’s words. He didn’t really think…

“Lydia, what? Derek, I don’t--” Derek pressed a hand to his forehead and Stiles leaned into the touch, feeling a small amount of relief that was enough for him to take a gasping breath.

“You’re burning up,” Derek said worriedly. Stiles nodded and reached for Derek’s hand, but the touch was gone. Stiles whined at the loss, pouting at Derek with desperation in his eyes. “It’s okay, Stiles. It’s okay,” Derek reassured. He moved his hand to Stiles’ knee and even through the haze of pleasure clouding his eyes, he registered Derek’s claws, like Derek was having a hard time controlling himself, too. He pressed Derek’s hand down, the claws pressing into his skin, ripping through the fabric of his jeans. Derek tried to tug his hand away, but Stiles pressed harder, spreading his legs and pushing his thigh into Derek’s grip. The localized pain was helping and Stiles couldn’t explain why, wanting to when Derek looked at him with concern.

“Please,” Stiles begged pathetically. Derek sighed deeply and nodded before his eyes cemented to the road. The minute his claws disappeared, Stiles tugged at his hand, moving it up his thigh and pushing it to the bulge in his jeans. Derek gulped and Stiles watched him, pupils blown and a loud moan echoing through the car. “Not-- Lydia, please,” Stiles begged. Derek’s hand stilled before he ripped it away. Stiles whimpered, reaching for the one thing easing his pain as Derek turned into the lot.

“We’re almost to Lydia, just… We’re almost there,” Derek said, his voice shaking uncharacteristically as he raced up the too long driveway.

“No, Dere--” He slammed on the brakes before hastily putting the car into park and Stiles hissed as the seat belt pressed into his heaving chest. Derek grabbed the vial from the center console and sprinted to the passengers seat just as Scott ran out of the building.

“I could smell him from upstairs. What the hell did you do?” Scott accused as he grabbed at Stiles’ arm. Scott’s touch seared against his heated skin and Stiles whimpered, instinctively lunging out for Derek. Derek’s eyes widened in shock as Stiles ran into his arms, pressing his face into Derek’s chest, his hands scratching down Derek’s abs before he rutted against him, small cries passing through his lips. Any semblance of composure was eradicated from him as he pushed his cock along Derek’s thigh, his groans the only sound he could hear.

“He’s an idiot!” Derek shouted as they sprinted up the stairs, dragging Stiles behind them. His lungs struggled in an attempt to catch the breath that seemed to push out of him faster each moment. When they entered the loft, Stiles collapsed on the floor, gripping at Derek’s hand as he fell. Derek kneeled beside him and held his head delicately in his lap. Stiles felt desperate; desperate for Derek’s touch, his kiss, his cock. He tilted his head enough to press his lips against the hardness in Derek’s own jeans. He bit down on Derek’s thigh when Derek’s fingers squeezed the back of his neck, his eyes screaming for more as he glanced up. Derek’s eyes were glowing red, his mouth open as he stared down at Stiles.

“What did it look like? What did he eat?” Deaton shouted as he kneeled beside them and pressed his hand against Stiles’ head. Stiles hissed at the unwelcome touch and sent a pleading glance at Derek as he bit down on his lip, trying to focus on Derek’s hands, the way they stroked over his hair. He leaned into the comforting touch. “Scott, get a cold cloth. Ice, if possible. Derek!” He yelled again. Everything around Stiles was murky, a cloud of mist surrounding everyone except for Derek. Derek was as clear as the outside sky, his presence the only thing keeping Stiles from losing the rest of the world in his daze. Derek’s eyes were red, sending surges of pure electricity down his spine, his skin burning where Derek’s hands rested. Alpha. Alpha. Alpha. Stiles needed Derek, his alpha, and he reached a desperate hand up Derek’s chest, gripping tightly onto the collar of his shirt to try and tug his face down.

“Yellow. Blue. A flower? He didn’t eat it!” Derek stuttered, pulling Stiles’ fingers from his shirt and lacing them together, his thumb sliding against the back of Stiles’ hand. It might as well have been touching his cock and Stiles had to close his eyes during his gasp. “She said… She said it would affect him if he was in love and only the person he was in love with could help him. Deaton, what--” Deaton sighed as Scott pressed an ice cube to Stiles’ forehead. He tried to say thank you, but only a soft hiss escaped. He needed, wanted, Derek, only Derek. His thoughts were swirling uncontrollably and he felt the blood boiling in his veins.

“Derek, please, Derek, Derek, Derek,” Stiles couldn’t stop his name from flowing, desperate cries on his lips. Stiles barely registered the way Scott’s eyes flashed beyond the blurriness. Stiles felt, for the first time since they left the Seelie Realm, that he would get what he needed. Derek. Derek. Derek.

“Where’s Lydia? He needs--” Stiles heard the snarl that interrupted Derek’s search. Derek growled, moving to stand, but Stiles thought he might die if Derek stopped touching him. He whined frantically, digging his nails into the skin at Derek’s waist.

“He doesn’t need Lydia. He needs you!” Scott yelled. Stiles felt Derek tense, the hand on his back pressing harder. Stiles knew it wasn’t a good time to moan but Derek’s palm felt so good on the fabric of his shirt, he couldn’t begin to imagine how good it would feel on his skin. He heard Scott growl lowly and pressed his face further into Derek’s side. He needed skin, his own was screaming for it, so he pushed up Derek’s shirt with his face and pressed his cheek into Derek’s warmth. “The only person who can save him is you, Derek. And he’s too… too fucked up to tell you himself. So, I’m risking his wrath by telling you that he needs you.” Stiles whined, crawling further into Derek’s lap and nodding furiously. He couldn’t bring himself to care that the feelings Stiles had tried so hard to hide were out in the open. Not when it meant that Derek would finally touch him.

“He’s burning up,” Deaton commented, his voice not nearly as panicked as Stiles thought the situation warranted. Typical. “The Queen often uses paclyan as a weapon. It causes a visceral need for… release.”

“Release,” Derek repeated slowly. Stiles saw the realization wash across his face. As if testing the new knowledge, Derek ran his hand up Stiles back, over his shoulder and across his neck. His thumb brushed against Stiles’ lips and Stiles couldn’t resist pulling it into his mouth, his tongue circling around it as he sucked. He pushed his hips against the floor, needing some kind of pressure on his aching cock. He could feel himself seeping through his jeans and he sent another pleading look at Derek. “Stiles…” Derek said in disbelief. Stiles heard the loft door slide open and close, indicating the others had left and finally let out the impressively loud moan he’d been trying so hard to keep inside.

“Please, Derek. It’s you, I need you, I need--” He panted, the words molding together as he crawled up Derek’s body, straddling his knee and rutting against it. Derek’s hot breath brushed against his lips and it felt like heaven. “Help me, please,” Stiles begged. Derek stood, picking Stiles up with him and Stiles’ wrapped his legs around his waist, a whimper of thanks in response. His lips worked over Derek’s neck; biting, sucking, licking until he felt his back hit the softness of Derek’s sheets. He squirmed against them, his hands reaching blindly around as Derek’s hard body was gone.

“I’ve got you. It’s okay, Stiles,” Derek whispered, “you’re gonna be okay.” He felt the button of his jeans unlatch and the zipper pull down and he thought he might cry. He felt the string of hot tears flowing down his cheeks, but couldn’t wipe them away, not when Derek was sliding the offensive clothing off his legs. His cock sprang free of its cage, hitting his stomach with a wet plop. The noise sounded almost as desperate as Stiles felt.

“Oh, god, please, Derek, please,” Stiles pleaded, his hands grasping at the pillows behind him before pulling one over his face, covering it to hide the shame he felt at his desperation. He bit into the fabric to stop another embarrassing moan from leaving his lips as Derek’s palms slid up his thighs. The pillow disappeared, allowing his panicked moan to escape, a mixture of curses and Derek’s name sputtering from his lips. He glanced down just as Derek licked a stripe up his cock, cleaning him of the excess amount of come that had already leaked out of him. Stiles felt like a puddle, melting into the mattress as his skin cooled at even the smallest of licks.

“Let me know if I have to stop,” Derek said. Stiles didn’t have time to answer, to tell him that he never wanted him to stop, before Derek took him into his mouth. He swallowed Stiles down until his cock glided down the back of his throat. He sucked, his tongue massaging what it could as Stiles grip tore the sheets underneath him. He knew he was shouting Derek’s name over and over again, no coherent thoughts left in his head, but he couldn’t stop. Derek’s hot mouth had barely started and Stiles was coming down his throat. He felt Derek swallow around his cock and let out an unsteady breath, wiping a hand over the sweat dripping down his forehead. “So good, Stiles. So good for me,” Derek cooed as he pulled back, pressing the softest kisses to every inch of Stiles’ skin that he could reach. Stiles whimpered, still hard, cock twitching with each press of lips, Derek’s words rushing through him like fire.

“More, I need-- Please, more, Derek,” Stiles chanted, gripping at the collar of Derek’s shirt and pulling him up, his body a welcome weight on Stiles’. He leaned forward with the intention of finally being able to taste Derek, but he turned his face away in favor of leaning down to nip at Stiles’ neck. Stiles thrusted up into him as Derek bit down on the skin over his collarbone, hissing at the small spikes of pain.

“Everything, I’ll give you everything,” Derek said. He sounded about as wrecked as Stiles felt, but he couldn’t focus on it as Derek pushed himself up and pulled off his shirt. The sensation of Derek’s skin on his had Stiles biting down painfully on his bottom lip. Derek thrusted into him, the rough fabric of his jeans rubbing torturously over Stiles still hard cock.

“Fuck me, please, Derek, I can’t, I can’t--” Stiles felt his breath pushing out in gasps as Derek kneeled in front of him. Stiles spread his knees, watching as Derek undid his jeans with one hand, the other reaching for something next to him on the bed. Stiles’ vision was clearing with every pleasurable touch and he took that as a good sign as he was able to watch Derek lube up his own hard cock.

“Just a little bit longer, okay?” Derek said comfortingly. Stiles wiggled his hips, widening his legs even more as Derek ran a slippery finger over his hole. He gasped loudly, his hips leaving the mattress, searching for Derek. Everything in him was screaming for Derek to fuck him, to finally fill him. Derek shushed him lightly and pressed his hips down with a hand on his abdomen. Stiles nodded, biting down on his lip harder than the last time. He could taste the blood he had drawn, but he ignored the taste, unable to focus on it when Derek pushed two fingers into him. They slid in easily, but Stiles wasn’t surprised. He was ready for Derek, ready to take all of him, every inch of his solid length, without any prep.

“Now! Now, Derek, please!” He shouted out his pleas and Derek glanced up at him, like he was searching his eyes for any sign of regret or hesitation. Stiles knew he wouldn’t find any as he wrapped his legs around Derek’s waist and pulled him closer. When Derek pushed into him, Stiles' entire body flooded with bliss. It was an all too familiar feeling, similar to the pleasure that surged through him when he sniffed the flower. He wrapped his arms around Derek’s neck when he leaned down and pressed their chests flush together as Derek thrusted in and out of him, slowly at first, before Stiles quickened the pace with every desperate rut of his hips.

“Fuck, Stiles, so good, you feel so good, you’re so good,” Derek said, each word punctuated with what felt like a deliberate slide against his prostate. Stiles scratched at Derek’s back, enough to draw blood on any other human and gripped onto him tighter and tighter as he felt his orgasm rising inside him. It wasn’t like anything he felt before, the sheer pleasure of it burning through his veins, his lungs, his throat. He released a feral scream as he came, exploding onto his stomach and chest. Derek leaned down and inhaled deeply, his tongue lapping at the liquid as he continued to thrust.

“Derek, c’mon, fuck me. Derek, come inside me,” Stiles muttered as he bit down on the shell of Derek’s ear. He felt lucid, clear minded, finally in the moment as he took a deep breath. “Claim me,” Stiles whispered. And Derek did. He growled from somewhere low and deep inside him and clamped his teeth on Stiles’ neck, pulling Stiles up onto his lap and fucking him with everything in him. His arms gripped at Stiles’ back, his nails digging into the hot skin and his tongue lapping at the bite.

Stiles tugged at his hair to pull his head back and rested his forehead on Derek’s, gazing into his eyes. That was enough for Derek to lose the sliver of control he had left, his cock spurting streams of come into Stiles’ hole. He felt it warm inside him and moaned at the sensation, his eyes shutting tightly. He figured if he hadn’t already come twice, he could have came again by the desperate noises and pants that left Derek’s mouth.

“Fuck, Stiles,” Derek’s voice was panicked and Stiles thought it was in regret until he felt Derek’s cock swelling inside of him. Derek tried to push away, but Stiles just held him closer. He knew what it meant, the fact that Derek’s knot was growing at the base of his cock. Derek groaned weakly, his forehead resting against the darkening bruise on Stiles’ neck. Stiles felt himself being filled with Derek’s seed, streams of Derek’s claim inside of him and he sighed happily. He turned his face and pressed a kiss against Derek’s head to try and calm both of their trembling. Stiles’ skin tingled in the aftershocks of his own orgasm, Derek’s hips thrusting at an inconsistent and slow rhythm, like he was savoring every brush on skin on skin. Stiles stroked at his hair, trying to tell him that it was okay, that he was okay, every touch gentler than the last.

“Thank you, god, thank you, Derek,” Stiles said, his voice shaking with each word as he held Derek tighter to him. Stiles was grateful for the knot keeping them together, because he knew the minute Derek left the bed, he wouldn’t be able to explain himself. “I have to explain,” Stiles whispered as he nuzzled his face into Derek’s neck, pressing soft kisses to the sweat soaked skin and breathing in his scent. He smelled different like this, in the haze of sex surrounding them and Stiles wondered if Derek noticed the change, too.

“You don’t--” Stiles bit down on his neck to stop him from talking before nudging Derek’s face to his with a press of his nose.

“I do. I-- I took a chance, a calculated risk that had a few outcomes, all of which saved Lydia.” At the mention of Lydia’s name, Derek froze, the panic Stiles had been expecting flooding into his eyes. “The Queen asked me if I was in love and do you know why I didn’t answer?” Derek shook his head slowly, searching Stiles’ eyes. “If I answered, she would have hurt whoever I said. I know people like her, willing to manipulate everyone around them with knowledge. Hell, I am one of those people, but Derek, I couldn’t let her hurt you.”

“She hurt you, Stiles?! How is that any better?” Derek whispered, his voice still shaky and Stiles couldn’t tell if it was from fear or regret. He hoped it was from the mindblowing orgasm he knew he just had.

“She asked me if I was in love and I knew she was going to use it to her advantage. I made the deliberate decision to let her believe that I would never admit I was in love. She took the bait and we’re okay.” Stiles knew he wasn’t explaining it correctly, especially when Derek sighed and rested their foreheads together, shaking his head.

“Stiles, you could have died.” Stiles shook his own head and cupped Derek’s face in his hands.

“She insinuated, in her own twisted way, that whoever I was in love with could save me,” Stiles said slowly. Derek opened his eyes and peered into Stiles’. Stiles sighed in response and smiled up at him. “I knew you would save me, whether you loved me or not, Derek. I trust you to save me. There was no doubt in my mind that you would come to my rescue, the way you always have, always do.” Derek seemed to understand, his eyes flashing red as he pushed his nose against Stiles’ cheek. Stiles took a deep breath to steady himself, urging Derek to look back to his eyes. When Derek did, he smiled widely and a soft, almost disbelieving chuckle left his lips. “I love you, Derek. And I’m sorry that you--” He couldn’t finish his apology as Derek’s lips captured his. The kiss was perfect, simple and soft, much different from their earlier activities and Stiles couldn’t help but sigh into it. Derek pulled away abruptly and Stiles’ pouted, opening his mouth to speak, but stopping when Derek raised an eyebrow at him.

“Tell me this isn’t the flower talking,” Derek pleaded, a small twinge of nervousness in his voice that Stiles didn’t like to hear.

“‘Only the one he loves can save him’,” Stiles relayed the Queen’s words back to Derek. He gestured toward his body, temperature back to normal, no more shivering or quaking, no more sweating, no more painfully aching arousal, and shook his head at Derek. “You saved me. That should be reassurance enough,” Stiles said. Derek nodded and pressed a gentle kiss to Stiles’ lips.

“I love you, too,” Derek said after a few moments of silence. Stiles let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding and pushed his head back into the pillow behind his head.

“You do?” Stiles asked nervously. Derek peered down in the direction of their attached bodies and Stiles let out a large huff of laughter before pulling Derek’s lips to his again. If they were stuck for a little, he wasn’t about to let it go to waste.

#sterek #sterek fic #stiles x derek #derek x stiles #stiles stilinski #smut #my writing #derek hale

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stoiccthulhu · 4 years

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Update time...actually, why should these be titled? I mean, whats the point of writing a title to these if all I’m going to do is ramble on and on with no specific topic of discussion, just several things on my mind?

Election day 2020 happened yesterday and I voted for nobody. And if I would have voiced my polling choice I would have voted for the candidate I see as being the best option in line with my thoughts and opinions concerning the state of the world at the moment as well as the future.

You can insert whomever you want to believe that would be based off an assumption and a look at my internetting footprint, but you would be wrong, but that’s part of the fun of interpreting what I’m writing down for you in the future. Trying to figure out what I’m actually saying. While it makes complete sense to me, because you don’t have the hidden key phrase you can’t decipher what it is that I am putting to digital paper.

I get it, I’m an asshole.

And this isn’t, completely, a justification towards my actions but a direct result of your intervention within my life that has caused this behaviour. Think of it sort of like a self-fulfilling prophecy. You interpreted me, came back, and intervened in any little way imaginable. Negatively or positively, but no matter your justification, it was still an intervention that didn’t need to happen because, as Malcolm once said, “Life, finds a way.” And just like destiny, it will find a way. But enough of all that crazy talk, you’re here because you want to hear all about my political leanings and to unravel the mystery as to this anonymous random on the internet’s preferred presidential choice in the election that has already passed.

But before I do that, let’s get some shit off my chest because I tend to swear and if you don’t like it, go the hell away. I’m sick of people being sensitive over everything. As if they’re looking for any reason to complain or get offended nowadays.

“The internet has given everyone in (the world) a voice, and evidently everyone in (the world) has chosen to use that voice to bitch about (anyone they find offensive)” -Holden McNeil (with some modern revisions)

And that’s why I’ve chose not to be PC in this thing, whenever I feel the urge to put pen to paper, relatively speaking.

Like, let’s see who I can offend right off the bat.

Women need to start getting punched more and treated like human beings instead of china dolls. If you’re a pro-gender equality advocate, and you’re a woman, you need to be willing to be punched in the face for doing ANYTHING a man would otherwise be punched in the face for. They also need to be held accountable for the shit they do to everyone. I am a strong supporter in believing that no matter what women say about women controlling the government and such, while women have great communication skills, they have the worst track record when it comes to not being aggressive, biologically speaking.

In the wild, whom are normally the more aggressive of the genders? Whom is usually the one more protective of the young? more willing to go out to hunt?

To be fair, I have a very limited knowledge when it comes to the animal kingdom. But, I mean, the Black Widow is normally depicted as being a deadly female, the female preying mantis devours the head of her mate after they’re done mating. There are so many, example, of females being worse than males in nature its hard to ignore. And, to add religious believers to the list of people offended, if you’re not ignorant to science and knowledge, or at least the pursuit of it, we evolved over a long period of time from apes, which, by nature, makes us, humans, not white people, black people, yellow people(to stick to the color scheme), brown people(gotta throw the other Asian people’s in there as well), animals. Highly evolved and communicative animals, but animals none the less. Was that supposed to be one word? Nonetheless?

Doesn’t matter. So, if you stick with my logic, you’ll see that women are terrible. Terrible. But, because men like to have sex with females as opposed to men for the most part in today’s society women have a stranglehold on the pelvic reason of an entire world, which means they can make anyone, for the most part, do anything they want and see things their way, even if they’re saying the sky is as green as the skies of Namek. An example of this is perfectly laid out in a clip from That 70′s Show. Kelso and Hyde prove women can’t play fight because they’ll turn it real, for whatever reason, just because they’re girls. To prove this, Kelso and Hyde play fight, and it looks bad, but they stop, laugh, and hug it out. Then Jackie and Donna play fight, starting out playfully, but then turning it into hair pulling and needing to be pulled apart. Both visibly angry.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUwxxJvtQnI

(OK, my memory was bad, it was Eric and Hyde, and it was set up differently, but the concept is still there.)

And I get it, they’re actors, being paid to do what the script is telling them to do, but it is true. Girls are worst during puberty as well, from what I’ve heard. And I get it, I have a biased standpoint being a male, but in today's culture that shouldn’t matter, it’s about what’s being said, not my gender.

Now that women are out of the way, lets also as black people, but not specifically black people, its more of a systemic form of racism that I believe shouldn’t exist. In which, if you are not of that specific race, you are not allowed to say the n-word. What makes me giggle right now is that with just that sentence every single person reading this probably got a bit riled up. A bit ruffled in the feathers because I’m not a black person. And if you weren’t, you are now, knowing what you know now.

So let me provide you with some context so you can understand how I’m not racist at the same time as saying what I said above.

I enjoy rap music and hip-hop, as do a lot of people throughout the world, black or otherwise. Which, in this current climate, would be considered one of the forms of cultural appropriation we tend to sweep under the rug because it doesn’t fit our narrative of being offended about something. Because I like rap music I tend to learn the word to all of the songs I enjoy listening to. Because I learn the words to the songs that I enjoy listening to I sing along. But, because I’m not black, I have to ruin my flow to edit myself just because the artist chose to use nigger in their song. Which, as an artist, is their choice.

Now, why should I have to edit myself? I have tried to replace it with “wigger”, but because of the closeness of the words, I felt that would still be offensive if I was ever overheard by the wrong black person who, understandably, would be mad if they heard a pasty white boy say the word nigger without any context.

I just think, unless the person is using the word in a hateful way, directed at the person the speaker either personally knows or is conciously speaking about, as in “i hate that nigger” or “you’re a nigger”. If it’s something like that, totally beat the shit out of that racist.

But if you’re singing along to Wu-Tang, and you say:

I be that insane nigga from the psycho ward I'm on the trigger, plus I got the Wu-Tang sword So how you figure, that you can even fuck with mine? Hey, yo, RZA! Hit me with that shit one time! And pull a foul, niggas, save the beef for the cow I'm milkin' this ho, this is my show, Tical! The fuck you wanna do on this mic piece, duke? I'm like a sniper, hyper off the ginseng root PLO Style, buddha monks with the owls Now who's the fuckin' man? Meth-Tical It shouldn’t be labelled as being racist.

There is more rattling around in my head right now, things that I’ve been thinking about for years, and things that have been bothering me for just about as long, but for now those were the two that fell out when I vomited all over my keyboard.

And if you’re offended. Get over it. You need to start.

Oh, I almost forgot. I was going to tell you whom it was I was going to vote for yesterday if I had voted for anybody. Jokingly I wanted to write-in “Obi-Wan Kenobi”. But in truth I was going to vote for Biden. Not because I thought he was the better candidate, but because there was not a good option at all, he was just the lesser of two evils. This election has made me decide I want a third option when it comes to my politicians, or at least, get rid of political parties all together. We spend so much time infighting and holding each other back instead of up no real change has happened in the past decade? Longer? And whatever change that does happen gets nitpicked apart so much it becomes a shell of its former self. But, enough about that. I have a baby demanding eggs and waffles and I still need to tag this.

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rattmemes · 5 years

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Beetlejuice: the Musical OBCR Starters! ACT 1

((>>act 2<<))

all changeable titles/pronouns will be in [italics and bracket!]

PROLOGUE: INVISIBLE

“ in times like these, we have no words, we only have each other ” “ we only have each other ” “ today we come together to mourn ” “ scripture tells us: “sorrow not, for we do not walk alone” ” “ sorrow not, for we do not walk alone ” “ you’re invisible when you’re sad ” “ clocks tick and phones still ring ” “ the world carries on like mad ” “ the world carries on like mad, but nobody sees a thing ” “ nobody sees a thing ” “ whispering behind their hands, lost for kind words to say ” “ nobody understands, and everyone goes away ” “ nobody understands ” “ everyone goes away ” “ grownups wanna fix things, when they can’t it only fills them shame ” “ they just look away ” “ is it being greedy to need somebody to see me and say my name? ” “ seems when you lose your [mom], no one turns off the sun ” “ folks carry on, that’s that ” “ holy crap, a ballad already? ” “ such a bold departure from the original source material! ”

THE WHOLE BEING DEAD THING

“ hey folks! begging your pardon! ” “ hey folks! ” “ begging your pardon! ” “ ‘scuse me! sorry to barge in! ” “ ‘scuse me! ” “ sorry to barge in! ” “ let’s skip the tears ” “ let’s skip the tears and start on the whole, y’know, being dead thing ” “ you’re doomed! ” “ you’re doomed! enjoy the singing ” “ the sword of Damocles is swinging ” “ if i hear your cell-phone ringing, i’ll kill you myself ” “ the whole being dead thing! ” “ death can get a person stressed ” “ we should have carpe’d way more diems, now we’re never gonna see ‘em ” “ we should have carpe’d way more diems ” “ i can show you what comes next ” “ don’t be freaked ” “ stay in your seats ” “ don’t be freaked, stay in your seats ” “ i do this bullshit like eight times a week ” “ so just relax, you’ll be fine ” “ drink your fifty-dollar wine and take a breath ” “ welcome to a show about death! ” “ you’re gonna be fine on the other side ” “ DIE! YOU’RE ALL GONNA DIE! YOU’RE ALL GONNA DIE! ” “ i’ll be your guide to the other side ” “ oh, and full disclosure: it’s a show about death! ” “ everybody gets on fine here ” “ everybody gets on fine here, like Rodgers, Hart, and Hammerstein here ” “ the women’s bathroom has no line here ” “ just... pee where you want! ” “ you’re just gonna love the folks here ” “ yes, i know you’re woke, but you can take a joke here ” “ i do, like, a TON of coke here ” “ nobody is bullet-proof ” “ “i work out! i eat clean!” jesus, pass the Dramamine ” “ jesus, pass the Dramamine ” “ time to face the brutal truth ” “ we’re all on a hitlist ” “ might not live ‘till christmas ” “ choke to death on Triscuits ” “ hey, that’s just statistics ” “ take a little break here ” “ kinda like a wake here ” “ the scenery is fake here ” “ there’s a giant snake here! ” “ how you doin’? not good! ” “ seriously though, this is a show about death ” “ death is taboo, but it’s hardly something new ” “ there’s nothing medical professionals could do, ‘cept maybe just bill you ” “ if you die while listening to this album, it’s still gonna keep playing ” “ there’s no destiny or fate, just a terrifying wait filled with people that you hate, and on a certain date, the universe kills you ” “ that’s the thing with life: no one makes it out alive ” “ toss that body in the pit ” “ gosh, it’s awful, ain’t it tragic? ” “ blah blah bible jesus magic ” “ when you’re dead, who gives a shit? ” “ pilates, no more yoga ” “ namaste, you fuckin’ posers! ” “ from the cradle to cremation, death just needs a little conversation ” “ i have mastered the art of tearing convention apart ” “ how about we all make a start on the whole being dead thing ” “ god, i hope you’re ready for a show about death! ”

READY, SET, NOT YET

“ look at this crib ” “ look at this crib, in all of it’s glorious antiquary ” “ every curve and surface speaks to me, saying pamper and spoil me, sand me and oil me; come on ” “ i know to the untrained eye it’s boring ” “ nothing’s a chore when you’re restoring ” “ apart from frustration, pain, and financial drain, it’s fun! ” “ why do you polish your crib when you don’t have a kid? ” “ even if you did have a kid, this crib is too precious for placing a baby inside it ” “ it simply exists to remind you your sense of perfection is just a reflection that you are not mentally prepared to make room for a kid ” “ why don’t you live? ” “ just make a start ” “ are you willing to take the next step? ” “ ready, set - ” “ look at these jugs! ” “ amazingly glazed and terracotta-ery ” “ i took some clay and made you pottery ” “ the world will never wreck you, i’ll protect you in a mother’s embrace ” “ why can’t you see that ceramics is simply a manifestation of [motherly] panic; by making a baby that’s breakable aren’t you creating a way of translating the terror of making [maternal] mistakes into clay, hiding away so you don’t have to face being a bad [mom]? ” “ that’s what you’ve done, ___ ” “ here we stand at the end of a 10-year plan ” “ a house, a yard, a minivan, a baby should be next ” “ together let’s leap off the cliff, fall forever, then smash to bits ” “ trapped in a terrifying viper pit ” “ trapped in a terrifying viper pit of diapers and regret ” “ are we willing to take the next step? ” “ ready, set - not yet ” “ why rush? ” “ soon enough our hopes and our dreams will be crushed ” “ but not yet ” “ not now ” “ we can’t start a family in a house with creaky floorboards ” “ you are absolutely right, let’s add it to the list ” “ with the cracks in the plaster ” “ the wi-fi should be faster ” “ this sofa needs a castor ” “ the bathroom’s a disaster! ” “ what about global poverty? ” “ what about world peace? ” “ then there’s the whole darn economy ” “ the whole middle east ” “ we should learn mandarin ” “ yeah! or spanish at least ” “ no habla espanol, dos cervezas por favor ” “ and that’s all we got, and that’s not a lot ” “ do we want a bilingual household or not? ” “ so let’s go slow, no breaking a sweat ” “ what’s the point of having children if we’re drowning in debt? ” “ see, i wasn’t kidding, it’s a show about death! ”

THE WHOLE BEING DEAD THING PT. 2

“ ready? okay! ” “ hi! i’ll be your guide! i’ll be your G-U-I-D-E to the other side! ” “ don’t go to the netherworld ” “ netherworld? ” “ did i say netherworld? never mind ” “ jesus, i can’t spell ” “ he’ll be your guide! ” “ let’s all get naked! ” “ let’s all get naked! eh, worth a try ” “ what is happening?! ” “ i understand that it’s a lot to process ” “ the good news is you and our spouse died in your own house ” “ that gives you clout ” “ that means the two of you should stick around ” “ lucky for you i dropped by ” “ yeah, you seem like nice guys ” “ a little on the pottery barn and dry white wine side ” “ as for me, i’ve been scaring for millennia ” “ i’m the bio-exorcist giving houses enemas ” “ push out all the breathers so you can breathe easy ” “ just stick with me ” “ i’m like a ghost zombie jesus ” “ ghost zombie jesus! ” “ i do it for the love of it. money? ah, who gives a shit ” “ i think we’re a perfect fit, c’mon let’s make out a bit ” “ it’s the perfect day to die ” “ it’s the perfect day to die, ‘cause this guy happened to be passing by ” “ to give you control of your soul ” “ to give you control of your soul for the whole being dead thing ”

DEAD MOM

“ hey [mom], dead [mom] ” “ hey [mom] ” “ i need a little help here ” “ i’m probably talking to myself here ” “ i gotta ask, are you really in the ground? ” “ i feel you all around me ” “ are you here? ” “ i’m tired of trying to iron out my creases ” “ i’m a bunch of broken pieces, it was you who made me whole ” “ i’m a bunch of broken pieces ” “ it was you who made me whole ” “ every day [dad’s] staring at me, like all “hurry up, get happy” ” “ move along ” “ forget about your [mom] ” “ [daddy’s] in denial, [daddy] doesn’t wanna feel ” “ [he] wants me to smile and clap like a performing seal ” “ ignored it for a whole, but [daddy’s] lost [his] mind for real ” “ you don’t believe the mess that we’ve become ” “ you’re my home, my destination ” “ i’m your clone, your strange creation ” “ you held my hand, and life came easy ” “ now jokes don’t land ” “ no one sees me ” “ nothing seems to fit ” “ are you receiving? ” “ i want something to believe in ” “ take me where my soul can run ” “ i’ll be in my bedroom, wake me when i’m twenty one ” “ won’t you send a sign? ” “ i’m running out of hope and time ” “ a plague of mice, a lightning strike, or drop a nuclear bomb ” “ no more playing [daddy’s] games ” “ i’ll go insane if things don’t change ” “ whatever it takes to make [him] say your name ”

FRIGHT OF THEIR LIVES

“ okay, listen up, i’m not gonna lie; right now you couldn’t frighten a fly ” “ you ever stop to ask yourselves why? ” “ both of you are super polite, middle class, suburban, and white ” “ well, all of that is finished tonight ” “ take your places ” “ i want scary faces, now go! ” “ bigger! ” “ further! ” “ harder! ” “ not bad! ” “ i want scary faces, now go! bigger! further! harder! -- not bad! ” “ sever a head, preferably someone you know ” “ look at me, i’m so scary! ” “ don’t be so vanilla, would a little anger kill ya? ” “ c’mon drop your panties i’m trying to fill you -- with wisdom and skill ” “ and the instinct to kill ” “ again, we do not want to kill anyone! ” “ fine, but somehow, someway, you gotta make ‘em see ya ” “ i’m talkin’ jumpscares, the jerky japanese ghost-walk ” “ learn how to throw your voice! -- fool your friends! -- fun at parties! ” “ now THAT is cool! i wanna do THAT! ” “ whatever it takes to make ‘em go crazy ” “ raising the stakes by punching a baby ” “ scare ‘em away till they break ” “ they’ll be quaking in fright ” “ you’ve got some evil deep down inside you ” “ put all the farmer’s markets behind you ” “ you’ve gotta work, gotta haunt till it hurts through the night ” “ give those guys the fright of their lives! ” “ let’s start with things that you hate ” “ hate’s a very strong word ” “ perhaps when people are late ” “ or getting pooped on by birds ” “ no, what fills you with rage? ” “ what fills you with rage? ” “ being mean to a pet ” “ chefs who use too much sage when they make beurre noisette ” “ over-glutinous food ” “ when kids call me dude ” “ oh, i find that so rude! ” “ well, there’s lots there to use ” “ take a deep death and give me your best primal scream ” “ [weak, lame scream] ” “ that was brilliant! ” “ try it again, maybe this time pretend like you mean it ” “ [lame scream but deeper] ” “ that was even better! ” “ i want freedom ” “ to get my freedom i need to get a living person to say my name ” “ i know that beggars can’t be choosers, but do they have to be such losers? ” “ both of them are deathly dull and lame ” “ why God slash Satan did you send these bed wetters? ” “ even, like, a tax attorney would’ve been better ” “ somebody with gravitas, somebody to fear ” “ excuse me, ___, we can kinda hear you ” “ yeah? well that was a soliloquy, so you’re the one who’s being rude ” “ turn all the lights on ” “ dress like a baby ” “ ___, i don’t even -- no. ” “ get your heads in the game ” “ let’s hide their phones! ” “ screw their phones! ” “ ugh, these dopes are hopeless ” “ how will i ever survive? ” “ unless they get the fright of their lives ” “ yes, we’re feelin’ it! ” “ they gotta get the right of their lives ” “ we’re scary, very very scary! ” “ they’ll never get the fright of their lives ”

READY, SET (REPRISE)

“ that needy pervert was right ” “ if we want our house back, we have to fight for it ” “ how? no one can see us! ” “ we’re ghosts, damn it! let’s haunt this bitch! ” “ oblivion calls ” “ we might as well walk through some walls ” “ i’m sure we can haunt our own halls ” “ we’re ready as we’ll ever get ” “ i gotta get right outside my comfort zone ” “ we’ll rattle chains and, i don’t know, just wail and moan until they go ” “ ready, set let’s oooOOOoOooOooOo [ghost noises] ”

NO REASON

“ the universe is more than just space with no end ” [sung] “ la-la-la-la-la! ” “ just think of the universe as a female best friend ” “ hey, universe, what’s happening girl? ” “ oh nothing. just running the world ” “ you’re on the right track, [girl], i got your back, [girl] ” “ i’m helping you grow ” “ think positive, act positive, you are a child of the Earth! ” “ life coaching! nailing it! ” “ time to take command you dictate the hand the universe deals ” “ look, science makes no sense; who needs evidence? ” “ go with yours feels ” “ i’m like a radio tuned to the stars ” “ i found my frequency, crystals speak to me ” “ what are they saying? ” “ buy more crystals ” “ everything, EVERYTHING, happens for a reason ” “ be a beacon of light in the world, put a little alright in the world ” “ there are spiritual guides above, look up and see ‘em ” “ perception is reality ” “ just listen to the melody the universe sings ” “ everything happens for a reason ” “ gee, i hate to break it to you: the universe is just the contents of time, matter and space ” “ ninety-one billion light-years across and the Earth’s a small place ” “ good people die in famine and wars ” “ the pacific islands are sinking, but negative thinking is hardly the cause ” “ you think life is all unicorns and rainbows ‘cause you’re bored ” “ positivity is a luxury that few can afford ” “ we’re gonna die, yes you and I, in meaningless and alone ” “ no no no! no! ” “ one day you may wake up alone ” “ your husband and his boyfriend bought a boat and then they sailed away to Rome ” “ that’s specific ” “ so you cry yourself to sleep in deep despair, talking to the walls ‘cause there’s no one there, and you have to buy a cat ‘cause that’s your last chance to have a family ” “ take it from me, your aging ass will have to believe that everything happens for a reason ” “ put some more fun in the world, a little “I AM STILL YOUNG” in the world ” “ be prepared to take your eggs and freeze ‘em ” “ is this still about me? ” “ sounds like terrible things can happen ” “ because the universe is random ” “ yes, but, random for a reason ” “ no reason ”

INVISIBLE (REPRISE)/ON THE ROOF

“ you’re invisible when you’re me ” “ there’s no one to see my truth ” “ if they could look up they’d see: hey! somebody’s on the roof! ” “ god, it’s mortifying, what’s the point of even trying? ” “ now i’m trapped with no escape ” “ banished! disavowed! i vanished like a cloud of dirty hipster vape ” “ i vanished like a cloud of dirty hipster vape ” “ nobody said life’s fair ” “ guess they will never see the demon who isn’t there ” “ whoa, what have we got here? ” “ by the time you read this, I, ___, will be gone ” “ there’s nothing for me here ” “ i’m alone, forsaken, invisible ” “ that makes two of us ” “ who the hell are you? ” “ can you... see me? ” “ yeah...? ” “ you can SEE me! ” “ I’M GONNA HAVE A NEW BEST FRIIIIIIEEEENND! ”

SAY MY NAME

“ you could use a buddy ” “ don’t you want a pal? ” “ yes i do! yes i do! ” “ the way i see, your [daddy] should be leaving and you should stick around! ” “ and kill him! ” “ ... what? ” “ nothing! ” “ don’t end yourself, defend yourself ” “ [daddy] is the one you should maim ” “ together we’ll exterminate, assassinate! ” “ the finer points can wait ” “ first you gotta say my name! ” “ go ahead and jump but that won’t stop [him] ” “ here you got a solid plan B option ” “ i can bring your [daddy] so much pain ” “ all you gotta do is say my name ” “ just say it three times in a row ” “ you won’t believe how far i’ll go ” “ i’m in the bench, but coah, just put me in the game! ” “ i don’t know your name ” “ well, i can’t SAY it ” “ how ‘bout a game of charades? ” “ yes, let’s play it! ” “ close, but no ” “ wow, i’m impressed ” “ all you gotta do is say my name three times ” “ three times in a row it must be spoken, unbroken ” “ you’re so smart, a stand-up bro ” “ i’ll think about your offer, let you know ” “ i prefer my chances down below ” “ being young and [female] doesn’t mean that i’m an easy mark ” “ i’ve been swimming with piranhas, i don’t need a shark ” “ yes, life sucks, but not that much ” “ be a doll and spare the lecture ” “ i’m offering you a full-time specter! ” “ are you any good? ” “ you bet’cha! trust me, baby! ” “ really, it’s a flattering offer ” “ don’t you wanna see [dad] suffer? ” “ i think i’d rather just jump off ” “ i may be suicidal but ___, it’s not as if i’ve lost my mind ” “ so, playing hardball, huh? you are tougher than you look ” “ just wanna make sure i know who i’m working with. go any references? ” “ ___, there you are! ” “ get away from [her] ! ” “ this is a dangerously unstable individual ” “ ___ is sexy! ” “ ___ is smart! ” “ ___ is a graduate of Julliard! ” “ [he] can help, we found [him] on yelp ” “ our troubles all ended on the day that we befriended ” “ every word is the truth ” “ what the heck was that? ” “ so violating! ” “ there you go, kid, couple of five-star reviews ” “ that was possession ” “ any ghost can do that in less than one lesson ” “ pretty much any ghost’ll do, sure ” “ then, ___, what do i need you for? ” “ woah, woah, woah woah woah! hold up! ” “ hold up! i’m your pal! ” “ they’re sweet, but i’m a demon straight from hell ” “ i know, i went a little hard on the sell ” “ we’re BF-F-F-F’s forever! ” “ what? he was already dead ” “ we don’t need that demon ” “ together we can make a grown man weep ” “ we got a dinner date to keep ” “ okay, so what’s the plan? ” “ [he’s] gonna freak when we possess him ” “ i’ll lead that lamb to slaughter ” “ yeah, i got game! ” “ i’m gonna make [him] say my name ” “ not running away ”

DAY-O (THE BANANA BOAT SONG)/ACT I FINALE

“ what’s going on ___? are you alright? ” “ i don’t -- i dont know what just happened ” “ ___? do you need to lie down? ” “ what is happening to me? ” “ work all night on a drink of rum ” “ daylight come and me wanna go home ” “ stack banana till the morning come ” “ wait, why aren’t you dancing? ” “ it’s like i told you, ___, this house is haunted, and the ghosts who live here want you OUT ” “ who wants bacon? ” “ no! no! i’m a vegan! ” “ shut up, you moron! don’t apologize, we’re gonna be RICH! ” “ a genuine haunted house? it’s a goldmine! ” “ these ghosts are gonna make us a fortune! ” “ no! you’re supposed to be scared! ” “ there’s one thing that can still stop [him] ” “ ___, no! you don’t know what’ll happen! ” “ i can’t keep living like this! ” “ oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! i’m so glad you changed your mind! ” “ you are never gonna regret this! ” “ we are gonna make such a great team! ” “ give me just... one... more... ” “ it’s SHOWTIME! ” “ it’s our house now, kid! ” “ looks like we’re not invisible anymore! ”

#Lyric Meme #lyric starters #lyric sentence meme #rp lyric meme #lyric sentence starters #rp meme #rp starters #rp #sentence meme #sentence starters #rp sentence meme #rp sentence starters #beetlejuice rp meme #beetlejuice sentence starters #beetlejuice lyric starters #Role play meme #role play starters #role play sentence meme #role play lyric starters

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malereader-inserts · 6 years

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In the Hands of Comfort

Fandom: Riverdale Pairing: Lodges & Son!Reader Summary: This is the start of something new, something healthier and something worth holding onto Word Count: 1,457 A/n: hey, here’s part two of “In the Face of Evil” read here to read that! Some soft healthy family interactions.

It was two weeks since you were targeted.

You were finally out of the hospital, the car journey was quiet. You were still in pain, some of your muscle ached as you leaned against the door, your head leaning against the window. Watching how Riverdale remain insane. Hermione was the one to come pick you up as Andre drove the car.

Hermione looked away from the window and stared at her son, so fragile and so scared. She hated to think that you were dwelling on the words that were permanently branded on your skin. She turned away to look outside the window, Hiram had been angry for the last two weeks.

Whilst, you were treated at the hospital - you barely interacted with the family. Veronica mostly talked, catching you up in school work you missed and reading to you. Hiram was angry at who targeted you, a man who was planning revenge, he plans far worst than prison time for Manfred Muggs.

Hiram spent most of his days, if he wasn’t by your side in the hospital room, sat in his office chair. Nursing coffee or a glass of whiskey, notes untouched as he stares at the smiling picture of you and Veronica on the table. Hiram wanted some sort of justice, he knew that Muggs was not the Gargoyle King.

He scrapped the plan of working with the King, once his child was hurt there was no deal. Just so unfortunate that he had to learn the hard way.

Veronica was getting angsty, you were the talk of the school. Jughead and Reggie were quick to shut everyone about it. Reggie not wanting to see his girl upset about her brother and Jughead did it because you were always nice to him, plus Veronica offered money to have Serpents protect her and her brother.

She counted days when you return home, so she can do her favourite thing when she was with her brother. To grab blankets and watch movies all day.

You hadn’t noticed that Andre parked the car in front of the Pembrooke until you felt your mother rubbed your knee.

“We’re home, mijo,” It was soft, you nodded with tired eyes as you see the door open.

You step out the car, pulling the jacket closer, as the coldness dance upon your injuries. You slowly made your way inside with Hermione quick to follow you into the elevator as the ascend was quiet before your mother broke it.

“Do you want to sleep? Your father has made sure to keep you out of school just for a bit, to make sure-”

“I’m hungry,” You interrupted, loosening the grip of your jacket.

“Of course, you’re probably sick of the hospital food, we’ll get something nutritious in you.”

The elevator doors slide open as you stumble your way to the door, slamming it open. You grimace at the loud noise you were making, causing Hiram to look up from his papers at your entrance and Veronica to stop her writing in her room.

“Oh,” You softly hummed as Hermione chuckled, rubbing your shoulders, “I need to lie down.”

“Okay, what food would you like?” She asked as she helped you shrug off your jacket without causing too much pain.

You kick out of your shoes, curling your toes to the rug, taking the scent of home.

“Paella sounds good right now,” You replied, “Homemade.”

You walked away to the living room, missing the look of your mother’s face when you wanted her food. Nevertheless, she wasn’t too busy at the moment and you’ve been avoiding the hospital food so she had to get real food in you. Making her way to the kitchen, she chuckles seeing her son curled up on the sofa, trying to reach for the remote of the television.

Reaching the kitchen, Hermione rolled up her sleeves and washed her hands, her mind set in making lunch. Hiram had exited his office as Veronica exited her room, surprised to find Hermione in the kitchen.

“You’re cooking?” Veronica asked, “Don’t we have people who do that for us?”

“Your brother requested homemade Paella, and he knows when it’s not homemade.”

“I can hear you!” You shouted, then came after a soft ow. Hiram chuckled as Veronica eagerly volunteered to help her mother as Hiram made his way to the living room, luckily he had ditched the walking stick.

“(Y/n)?” He calls out, carefully as you poked your head out of the blanket.

He smiles as he makes his way to you, perching himself on the armrest as he pats down the flyaway hairs. You blinked before smiling at him, home to you made you feel more relaxed. You weren’t constantly tense in the hospital as if you were going to get murdered.

“Just checking to see how you’re doing,” He murmured, rubbing his thumb against your dark hair, “You seem to be more relaxed, it’s good to see.”

You hummed, slowly sitting up with the help of your father, “Just a bit uneasy, to say the least,” You confessed, leaning your head against your dad’s side.

He hadn’t seen much of this side of you, yes you were a tad more sensitive and a tad softer than you sister but physical contact was something you couldn’t handle, so you being affectionate all of a sudden was new to Hiram, and that you were talking about yourself was new.

You hated attention to yourself, preferred to sweep it under the rug for your sister to find it and relish in it. You hated talking about yourself, your problems and anything that concern you. Whilst, you grew up in a family that was loving, opening up was awkward and it was an issue that the family struggled with.

“Truth be told, I’m terrified,” Hiram looked down at you, your lips thinned as you heaved out a sigh, “You have a lot of enemies, dad, and you know that I am a target of revenge.”

“They’d be stupid to even attempt to harm you or your sister,” Hiram responded his arm over your shoulders, squeezing you lightly, nothing to inflict pain to you. You stared at him as he sighed, there was a hesitant, “I’m sorry, (Y/n).”

“What-?”

“I owe you an apology for not being the greatest father in the world, but most importantly putting you in harm's way. I would do anything just to keep you and your sister happy.”

You looked at him, then turn to see your mother and Veronica standing at the doorway. The first time you would notice the delicious smell of food, making your stomach grumble to be fed.

You looked at your dad once more before shamefully handing your head, “I just want us to be a family, for once,” You looked up at him again, “And I know I can’t ask you just to stop your scheming because I know I can’t but I want to be family again.”

“Nothing can be the same,” Hermione had to tell you, you bit your lip.

“I know, mom, but sometimes I could use a hug from my dad or my mom. Sometimes I can count on my parents to attend one of my sporting events or whatever. You know, act a normal family once, movie nights and game nights, I know it’s asking a bit too much, but I think we can all use the distraction.”

“I agree,” Veronica nodded, coming behind you and wrapping her arms around you and hugged you from behind, leaning her chin on your shoulders.

“If that’s what you want then we can at least try, all of us.” Hermione nodded, strolling her way to you and embracing her children.

Hiram looked at his family, realising what he would be throwing away. Two beautiful women with power, both headstrong and confident. His son, the man who would take his place in the business but most importantly the glue in the family. You looked up at him and Hiram just wanted to be back to the time he had a normal life, his kids annoying him but being his proudest achievement.

He gathers in the embrace, “Family it is.”

You chuckled as you felt your family squeeze closer to you. Sure, the road was bumpy, full of potholes and the road ahead was certainly not a straight path to the goal. But, if everyone worked as hard as each other, you could somehow salvage the broken pieces of the dysfunctional family.

Just as you were about to get comfy, you looked at your mother.

“I’m still hungry.”

Veronica laughs shaking her head, muttering how boys are never satisfied with the amount of food they’ve consumed.

“Of course you are, come, Paella is ready.”

#lodge x reader #lodge x male reader #x male reader #riverdale #riverdale imagines #riverdale x male reader

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ladyseaheart1668 · 5 years

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Endless Summer Book 4 : Daughter of Vaanu (Chapter 39)

Description: As news breaks of Rourke’s supposed death, the Catalysts and the Heroes of Northbridge are left wondering where to go next.

Tagging: @mysteli @whatmcsaid @xo-endlessmayhem-xo @endlesshero1122 @feartheendlesssummer @tigerbryn11

Chapter 39

Intrigue, Danger, and Romance

Grace

A weighty silence has descended over the living room of Sean and Michelle's apartment. It's Sean who finally breaks it.

“...Then...he's still out there?”

“So it would seem,” my husband confirms wearily. As if sensing his father's distress, Reggie abandons the toys he was exploring in the corner and crawls over to put his hands on Aleister's knees and drag himself upright. Aleister smiles as he reaches down to lift Reggie onto his lap, but it's forced. He sits our son facing forward so as not to let him see when the smile slips away a moment later.

“But the authorities don't believe you?” Michelle presses. “Doesn't the institution have records of the pencil incident? Unless their standards of care are far below regulation, Rourke would have been treated, even for a minor injury like that, wouldn't he?”

“Yes,” Aleister confirms. “And he was. They have all the records. They also have dental records and DNA reports, and even security footage that appears to confirm that Father hanged himself in his room. Against all that, a single missing scar just doesn't seem to stand up. They admit it is unlikely a scar like that would have just faded, but they also say it is not impossible, and that is enough to confirm for them that Father is dead.”

“...But...you don't think there is any chance they're right?”

Aleister shrugs. “There is always a chance,” he admits.

“But it's not a very high one,” Estela counters flatly, her dark eyes narrow. “He is alive. I know he is. And he's planning something. And if the authorities aren't going to help us track him down to stop it, then it is up to us.”

“How are we supposed to do that?” I ask.

A mirthless smile crosses Estela's lips. “Did you forget who you're talking to? Or in fact, who you are? We're the Catalysts. Foiling Everett Rourke's evil plans is what we do.”

“To be fair, is has been five-and-a-half years now since we had to worry about that.”

“It's been nearly as long since I was a part of the revolution in San Trobida,” Estela counters. She stands up, and starts to pace “But for all that I am possibly a little rusty, I have not forgotten everything. With any luck, Rourke may leave an electronic trail that Zahra can pick up on. Jake will surely have some ideas, too. He knows a thing or two about being a man who doesn't want to be found. And now we have the Northbridge supers on our side, too.”

“Might want to break this news to Jake gently,” Sean warns. “He's already on edge with Alodia in her current condition.”

“I wasn't planning to just blurt it out over the phone,” Estela replies testily. “My point is, there are things we can do. Steps we can take to either confirm that Rourke is actually out there and planning something, or assure ourselves that he is well and truly dead.”

“And...if he is alive?” I prompt.

“We do whatever we must to stop him from doing whatever he plans to do. ...It isn't just Alodia and her baby I'm worried about. Suppose he has plans for Reggie, too?”

I have to admit that a knot forms in my stomach when she says that. I see Aleister's arms tighten subtly around our son.

“Why would he want anything to do with Reggie?” he asks, his voice slightly thin. “He doesn't want anything to do with me, why would my son--”

“Because however he feels about you, Reggie is still his grandson. And you heard the way he spoke about you and Grace together, too. What was it he said? 'The kind of match that empires are built on'? I wouldn't be surprised if he is hoping Reggie will be the heir he's always wanted.”

“You were the heir he always wanted,” Aleister grumbles. Then, apparently regretting his words, he blushes and glances away. Estela stops pacing and smiles bitterly.

“In the end, I was nearly as much of a disappointment as you were. Maybe moreso since I never even tried to appease him.”

There is another long, awkward silence. Finally, Quinn reaches out to take Estela's hand.

“Okay. So there are steps we can take. In the meantime though, at least on the surface, I believe we should act as though we believe he is dead. Which...means the two of you will need to decide how to dispose of the body.”

“Quinn's right,” Michelle agrees. “Whether that's actually Rourke in the morgue or not, those are human remains that legally belong to the two of you.”

The atmosphere shifts abruptly as Estela and Aleister exchange a bemused glance.

“Heavens...” Aleister murmurs dazedly. “Do...do you think we ought to have a funeral...?”

Kenji

I spent New Year's Eve at the Grand with Tahira, Grayson, Eva, Dax, and Poppy. New Year's Day, I slept in. But the next morning, I decide to surprise my mom by bringing her a bagel and a cup of tea from her favorite coffee shop. I have to get up pretty early in order to surprise her, but I manage it, arriving at her apartment just about when I expect she'll be getting up. In front of her apartment door, I pull out my spare key and let myself in. I can hear the shower running from the back bedroom bathroom as I step inside. I leave the bagel and tea on the kitchen table and wander back to the bedroom, where the door is just slightly ajar. I slip inside and knock on the door to the bathroom.

“Mom? It's Kenji!”

I hear a yelp from inside the bathroom. “God, Kenji! You startled me!”

“Sorry! I brought you breakfast!”

“You'd better have! As an apology for nearly making me slip in the shower!”

I laugh. “Love you, too, Mom! I'll be in the kitchen.”

“Love you, Kenji!”

I go back to the kitchen and find the coffee and the muffin I got for myself. It gets a little quiet for my taste, so I wander into the living room and sit down on the couch to turn on the television while I eat. I don't expect anything interesting to be on, but maybe there are some cartoons on. It's not a cartoon that ends up catching my eye, though.

“...Everett Rourke Sr, founder and former CEO of Rourke International, who has spent the last five years in an institution for the criminally insane for the kidnapping and attempted murder of twelve young men and women, was found dead in his room yesterday morning of an apparent suicide. His body was identified by his two children, Everett Aleister Rourke Jr. and Estela Montoya, who are his only living relatives. Mr. Rourke was sixty-one years old...”

“Well, isn't that a sobering way to start the new year,” I hear my mother mutter behind me. She's in her bathrobe, her wet hair secured on top of her head in a towel.

“'Sobering' is one word for it,” I concede. “...Can't say I'm very sorry he's gone, though.”

“No, I'm not either,” Mom admits. “I'm mostly sorry for his children.”

“From what I know, they didn't exactly like him very much.”

“Maybe not, but he was still their father. His death is bound to be hard on them in one way or another.” She bends to kiss the top of my head. “Do you have plans today?”

“Not as such. Might go to the gym. I'll probably call Dad and say Happy New Year.”

“Give him my regards if you do. Though I actually spoke to him a couple days ago. He says he and Satomi are planning some time off this summer so they can bring the girls over for a visit.”

“No way, really?” For a moment, excitement is enough to make me forget about what I just saw on the news. I was only about five when my folks divorced. I would come to understand that it was a mutual break-up, as nearly-painless as a divorce can ever be, and Mom and Dad have always been friendly with each other. But when I was twelve, Dad moved back to Tokyo to be with my aging grandmother. Since then, he's remarried and had two daughters. I'm fond of my step-mother and my two half-sisters, but I don't get to see them nearly as much as I'd like. I'm already eager to show off The Grand to them.

“That's the plan,” Mom confirms. “He warned me they don't have a date set in stone yet, but knowing your father, we'll still have at least six month's worth of warning.”

“Knowing Dad, he'll have a date and an itinerary set by the time I call him. ...So what's your day look like?”

Mom's face falls into a frown. “...Meeting with Silas Prescott and his lawyer.”

My excitement deflates, leaving anxiety behind. “Yeah? What for?”

“I don't know. Though if I did know, I probably couldn't tell you.”

“Right. That whole confidentiality thing, right?”

“That's right.”

I glance back at the television screen. The newscaster has moved on to other stories, but I can still hear her brief on Rourke echoing in my memory. I stand up.

“Hey...I should probably leave you to get dressed.”

“I'd protest, but you're right. I do have to get ready. Thank you for breakfast.”

I collect my half-eaten muffin and my coffee and move to kiss my mother's cheek, mumbling good-byes before I take off with my coat still draped over my arm. I've got a nagging feeling about Rourke's death, and I think I need to talk to Tahira.

Silas Prescott

I hear of Everett's death through the news like everyone else. It is on every news channel. The local paper has a piece on him featured prominently. Unlike most people, though, I know he is not truly dead. I'm not sure how he pulled it off, but I know it was part of his plan. I am also beginning to suspect that even my lawyer may be one of Everett's creatures. Four days ago, after telling me for months that I should fight against conviction, her advice has abruptly changed. And now we are preparing to meet with Meiko Katsaros while Everett's 'death' is still news hot off the presses.

My lawyer arrives early, dressed smartly and looking ready to do battle. Her name is Brittany Kempton, but to be honest, I have difficulty not calling her Marjorie. Though she is quite a bit younger than Marjorie, she is just as prickly. I suppose that is a quality one wants in a lawyer.

I have also dressed professionally. Although I am unable to leave my home to receive a proper haircut, I have made certain that my now shoulder-length hair has been neatly swept back and my beard has been trimmed. I am unwilling to give the District Attorney any reason to believe I am not coping with my captivity.

Ms. Kempton and I go over things before Meiko arrives, though we do not have much time to practice before the doorbell chimes. The moment I answer the door is...admittedly awkward. For a pregnant moment, we don't speak. Finally, Meiko clears her throat.

“Silas. Hello. ...I would say it is a pleasure, but...”

“But it isn't. I understand. Please, come inside.” I step aside and she accepts my offer, crossing the threshold into my guilded prison. Silence returns as she stands in the foyer, casting a critical eye over me, her lips wrinkled as if she's tasted something sour. Then her expression softens subtly.

“How are you faring? Are your needs being met?”

“Considerate of you to ask.”

“It's not a kindness. You may be a criminal, but I wouldn't let you continue in any situation that was truly inhumane. You're entitled to sufficient food, medical care, exercise...if your heat goes out or a pipe bursts, you're entitled to get it fixed.”

“At the moment, my needs are met,” I assure her. “Would you care for anything? Coffee? Tea? Water?”

“No, thank you. My son bought me tea this morning.”

“Such a thoughtful young man. I suppose then we should get right down to business. Ms. Kempton is waiting for us in the living room.”

She follows me to where the lawyer has settled herself on the sofa and spread her paperwork out over the coffee table. I take a seat beside Ms. Kempton, keeping a reasonable professional distance between us, and gesture for Meiko to have a seat in the armchair set up for her. Underneath the piles of legal paperwork peeks the folded edge of my morning newspaper, still turned to the story on Everett's life and alleged death.

“I suppose you have heard of the death of Everett Rourke,” I remark as she settles herself.

“I have.” She pauses a moment. “The two of you had a...rocky history, if I recall.”

“We had a falling out many years ago, yes. But before that we were quite close friends.”

“I suppose it is appropriate to say that I am sorry for your loss, then.”

“Your sentiments are appreciated.” I chuckle mirthlessly. “But listen to me. I talk about getting down to business, and I immediately bring that up...”

Meiko pauses for a moment, eyeing me critically. Then her expression settles into something I can't quite read. “...It must have been a shock to wake up to this morning.”

“That it was.” There is a long stretch of silence, with Ms. Kempton looking back and forth between us as if waiting for one of us to remember her presence. “I suppose I should let my lawyer explain why I asked you here today.”

“I had been wondering,” Meiko confirms, and turns her gaze on the lawyer. Ms. Kempton clears her throat.

“My client would like to see about a plea bargain.”

“I see. And what is he offering?”

“A guilty plea, information on the criminals known as Stonewall and the Man on Fire.”

Meiko frowns, folding her arms. “And what is he asking in return? People are dead because of him.”

“He recognizes that. Which is why he is not asking for freedom. Only that he be permitted to serve out his sentence under house arrest.”

“His sentence is likely to be life,” Meiko replies flatly.

“I am aware of that as well,” I assure her before the lawyer can answer for me. “I am aware that I am turning my home into my prison. I expect by the end of my days, I will have come to hate it. But I would sooner hate my own home than never see it again, if I have a choice.”

“I'm not sure I should give you one,” Meiko replies sharply. “As I said, people are dead because of your greed and megalomania.”

I sigh. “You still think I was making a genuine grab for power. Of course. What else would you think. I designed it to look that way.”

“What else would it be?”

“It doesn't really matter, does it? I failed either way. And until recently, I was prepared to fight for my freedom.”

Meiko is an intelligent woman. She knows I am leading her to ask a particular question. I can see in her eyes that she is debating whether she should take the bait. Her mouth twitches and her shoulders slump subtly as she decides to take the risk.

“...What changed?”

“At first, I think, I was just tired. The weight of my failure, the strain this has put on my relationship with my son... I was in denial at first, but then I started to feel broken. Defeated. I agreed to change my plea because I thought perhaps there was a chance I could at least choose my own prison. Then, this morning, I read that my old friend had died. I turned on the television, and there was his picture on my screen. And something else was clarified for me.” I meet her eyes. “...Do you know why I fell out with Everett Rourke?”

“The details were never made public, unlike nearly everything else about both of you,” she replies. “I always assumed it had something to do with business.”

“That would make sense. We're the two industrial technology giants of the world, though in many ways, Everett always outpaced me. It would make logical sense that we might have an Edison/Tesla dynamic. But that wasn't it. ...Everett Rourke killed my wife.”

All successful attorneys need to have a decent poker face. To Meiko's credit, she doesn't flinch at this revelation, but I read people well enough to pick up on the subtle signs of surprise.

“Did he?” she asks impassively.

“It was an accident,” I clarify. “That's what all my biographies and my page on Wikipedia will tell you. Everett wasn't even anywhere near her when it happened. But make no mistake, it was an accident of his making. And for that, I turned him out of my life. He had been like a brother to me. But when he caused me to lose the most important person in the world, I disowned him.”

Meiko is still stoically taking this all in. But her hands, folded in her lap with their impeccable manicure and softness carefully maintained by designer lotions, are unnaturally stiff. The subtle extention of her fingers creates sharp peaks and valleys at her knuckles as her contracted tendons push against the underlayers of her skin. I lean forward.

“...As you said, Meiko, people died the day I goaded Dragonness into a battle against me. That was not my intention. But I know that I am far more culpable in their deaths than Everett ever was in Helena's. I'm not saying I suddenly believe Everett was blameless. But there is a difference an engineer whose hubris causes him to overlook a risk in his design because he believes it to be small, and one who purposefully designs and creates a thing with inferior materials for his own selfish reasons. I didn't go into that day with plans to kill anyone, but I also took no extraordinary measures to ensure that no one died.” I meet Meiko's eyes and hold them. “I am not looking for freedom anymore, Meiko. I deserve imprisonment. But if there is any chance at all of it, I only ask that I be permitted to choose where.”

Meiko sits silent and motionless as stone. Beside me, Ms. Kempton takes off her glasses and sets them on the coffee table, leaning back. The gesture feels like one of satisfaction. I wait just long enough to be certain that my story has sunk in.

“Well, Meiko? Do we have a deal?”

Alodia

I guess I should be upset that Rourke has once again proven he isn't done with me. That there's yet another danger lying in wait for me and my family, my beloved Catalysts, and there is nothing for me to do but stay alert and wait for it to reveal itself. But I mostly feel tired. I'm tired of staying alert. I'm tired of being scared. I'm tired of Rourke's shadow hanging over everything about my new life. I'm pretty sure Diego and Jake pick up on this pretty quick. I'm sure Varyyn knows. He never enters my thoughts without permission, but I know I can generally always feel his surface emotions as long as I'm physically close enough.

After sitting with the news of Rourke's deception and disappearance for awhile, I come to the conclusion that I have a choice: either I can let the fear and uncertainty consume me, or I can let it go and live my life, concentrate on enjoying my time with my family until something comes along that I can face. One option weakens me against my enemy. One strengthens me. I know which one I need to choose. I relay this to my nuclear family over dinner a few days into the new year.

“I definitely see where you're coming from, Princess,” Jake says, pushing his steamed broccoli into his mashed potatoes with the back of his fork, “but you know I can't help bein' scared.”

“I'm not asking you not to be scared. I'm not asking anyone not to be scared, or not to think about how we can stay ahead of Rourke. All I'm asking is that it not be allowed to run our lives. I was given a second chance to be with all of you. To have a life with all of you. I can't let fear take that chance away from me. ...Or from River. In a few months, she'll be here. She'll come in her time, whether we're ready or not. I don't want the first part of our child's life to be defined by fear, either.”

Jake sighs, putting down his fork and reaching over to take my hand. He brings it to his mouth to press his lips against my knuckles.

“I don't want that, either,” he admits. “...I'll try to live normal as possible, Princess. I promise.”

“Um...on that note,” Diego says somewhat sheepishly, raising his hand as if he's in a classroom. “There's something I've been wanting to bring up. I'm not sure if you guys are aware of what a week from Friday is...?”

“...The twelfth of January?” Mike volunteers uncertainly.

“Well, yes. But in Elyys'tel, it's Niala'rei.” He takes Varyyn's hand. “...Our anniversary. And yours, too, for that matter.”

I exchange a startled glance with Jake. “I...don't think I ever knew the calendar date for Niala'rei,” I admit.

“I did,” Jake confesses. “But for the last five years, I spent it getting drunk alone. Guess I've been so caught up in baby prep since so soon after I got you back that I didn't really think about the anniversary.”

“I kinda had a feeling that was the case,” Diego says. “Normally, Varyyn and I do something special at home together or we find someplace secluded at night. But...this year, thanks to Dax's Christmas present, I wanted to celebrate by taking him out someplace special and public. I thought maybe you two could come along? We had a double wedding. Now that we're all in one place, why not have a double anniversary party? We could at least try it this year, see how it works out.”

“What did you have in mind?” I ask.

He grins. “Well, my first thought was Disneyland, but maybe that would be better saved for when River is old enough to enjoy it. My second thought was something simple but fun, like spending Saturday at Santa Monica Pier. It's winter, so there won't be any concerts or anything, but we can ride the ferris wheel, and go to the arcade and the acquarium, have a couple nice meals, do some shopping. If we go up on Friday, we could spend the night in a hotel.”

“I...could get behind that...” Jake says slowly, though his expression doesn't look very sure. Mike lightly punches his shoulder.

“Why the hesitation, Grandpa? Not that I know anything about Santa Monica Pier, but it sounds like a perfectly enjoyable way to spend your anniversary. You definitely deserve it, and God knows your wife does, too.”

“Totally not disputing that. Just...feels kinda surreal to be thinking about my wedding anniversary...”

“It's a little surreal for me, too,” I agree, squeezing his hand. “Probably even moreso for you. But I think it's a good idea. We don't have to think of it as our wedding anniversary if that's too much to think about right now. It could just be us taking a well-deserved break from baby-prep.”

Jake finally cracks a smile. “Ahh, what the hell. I'm in.”

With that decision made, the mood at the dinner table shifts to something much calmer and happier. Conversation is light and animated. Jake and Mike volunteer to clean up the kitchen, and Diego eagerly suggests he and I set up in the den and watch a movie. Apparently, he's been compiling a list of the must-see movies from the five years I missed.

“It's gonna take months to get through them all, but there's no rush. We can grab one here and there whenever we both have time in the evening.”

“Sounds like a plan. What's first on the list?”

“Tender Nothings,” Diego answers, grinning. “You'll love this one. Matt Rodriguez, Victoria Fontaine...plus, it has the craziest behind-the-scenes story.”

“What about the actual story?”

“No spoilers, it's terrific. One of Varyyn's favorites.”

I raise an eyebrow at Varyyn, who smiles placidly, shrugging. “It stirs my heart and makes me feel grateful for what I have. Particularly, a partner who is loving and honest.”

“I feel like that tells me something about the story already. Okay, Diego, I'm in. Anyone want to join us?”

“I'll pass,” Jake says. “I'll let you two have your buddy-bonding time.”

“In that case, Grandpa, how about we have our own buddy-bonding time? I could take you out to a bar, buy you a couple rounds, shoot some pool?”

“It's a thought. ...Though we've still got some beers left over from New Year's in the fridge. Not to mention a game room right here, complete with a pool table.”

“Yes, but you see the point is to actually get out of the house.”

Jake hesitates, slipping me a sidelong glance. There's worry clouding his sky-blue eyes. I take his hand and smile gently.

“Go on, Top Gun. Take a leap of faith and assume I'll be fine if you leave my side for a few hours.” I lean over to kiss his cheek, and stage-whisper, “Besides, I think Mike might be looking for a wingman.”

Mike rolls his eyes. “Thanks for pointing that out, Goldilocks.”

“I got your back, Darwin,” I reply, winking.

“Well, okay,” Jake agrees. “But only because if I say no, you'll probably go alone and get yourself in trouble.”

“Your confidence in me is touching.”

“Hey, Varyyn, maybe you could tag along?” Diego suggests. “...If you guys don't mind, that is?”

Varyyn raises an eyebrow at his husband. “Really? You would want me to go to a bar without you?”

I can't help but notice the slight blush in Diego's cheeks, or the barely perceptible stammer when he answers, “H-hey, it's not like I don't trust you. And I just thought...maybe you'd like a change of scene...”

Varyyn frowns. “...My love, are you trying to get rid of me?”

“Of course not! I love you! It's just...I...” He trails off as the barest trace of a mischievous smile appears on Varyyn's lips. “...You're teasing me, aren't you.”

Varyyn laughs, drawing Diego close to him and kissing his forehead. “Yes, I am. Sorry, my darling, but you make it easy sometimes. I suspect you're interested in spending the evening with Alodia, and I fully understand that. I'll keep out of your hair.” He looks over at Jake and Mike. “If I would not be intruding on someone else's evening, I would love to join you both. Otherwise, I will find another way to occupy myself.”

“I'm for it,” Mike says, shrugging. “Another unavailable, married man talking me up has gotta increase the odds, right?”

“Unlikely,” Jake quips. “But let's not turn down good help.”

Within about half an hour, Varyyn, Jake, and Mike are heading out to enjoy the Laguna Beach night life. Meanwhile, Diego and I set up in the living room with popcorn and lemonade. Just before he starts the movie, Diego pauses, hesitating.

“So...I have a confession to make, Allie...”

“Uh-oh. Should I be worried?”

He grins a little. “Nothing to be worried about. ...I was actually trying to get rid of Varyyn for a few hours. I want you to help me with something I'm planning.”

Caleb

So. Everett Rourke is dead. That's a goddamn wrench in my plans. I run out of cigs late Saturday afternoon and decide to visit what is quickly becoming my favorite convenience store. It's a bit of a hike from where I'm currently set up—in biting cold and encroaching darkness to boot—but I feel like the walk might help me get my head on straight. I gotta regroup. Come up with something else to get Tahira and her team to trust me. I hate admitting it, but I really can't do shit without them in this situation. I guess I could just bail and let them handle it. But...I don't want to. Fuck me, I'm going soft.

“Caleb? Is that you?”

The voice is high and childish, and it startles me. I turn around to find none other than Ysabel scooting down the sidewalk toward me, looking like a colorful marshmallow in her oversized puffy winter coat. She skids to a stop beside me, grinning. I raise an eyebrow at her.

“What're you doing way out here by yourself?”

“I was at the movies with my friend. But Dylan's almost done with work, so I decided to meet him here to walk home with him.”

“This isn't the number one best neighborhood in Northbridge, kiddo. You shouldn't be out here alone.”

She gives me a smile that can only be described as cheeky. “Well, I'm not alone now, am I?” I roll my eyes.

“Don't get cute, you little marshmallow. You're lucky I'm heading in the same direction.”

I resume walking. I'm not sure why I bother, but I slow my pace so she can keep up with me. I guess I have to admit I kinda have a soft spot for kids who've been screwed over. Plus this one is kinda hard not to like a little. I shove my hands in my pockets while I walk, though. I'm not really ready to offer her a hand to hold. ...Besides, she's old enough to cross the street by herself. Just not old enough or big enough to defend herself from sickos who'd see a preteen girl out by herself as a target.

“Are you going to buy cigarettes at Dylan's store?” she asks.

“First of all, it ain't Dylan's store. But yeah. I'm out of my smokes. Plus I want a burrito. They got really good burritos.”

Ysabel makes a face. “I don't like the burritos. They upset my stomach.”

“That's probably the beans. Beans make you fart, you know.”

Ysabel rolls her eyes. “Yes, I know. I'm eleven.” She sighs. “Aren't you too old to think farts are funny?”

I snort. “You're never too old to think farts are funny.”

“But why are they funny? Because they make a noise? Because they come out your butt? Because they're stinky?”

“All of the above.”

“I just don't get it,” she sighs. She looks so world-weary that I can't help laughing.

“That's 'cause you're already an old lady.” I nudge her shoulder with my elbow, just hard enough to make her step forward a little.

“I'm younger than you,” she replies haughtily.

“Yeah, in body you are. But you've got one of those mature souls that's already got wrinkl...” I trail off as we round the corner just outside the store, stopping in my tracks before I've even realized I've done it. Reflexively, I reach out and grasp Ysabel's shoulder, stopping her from proceeding.

Gigi is leaning against the convenience store's brick facade, a burning cigarette fixed between the first two fingers of her right hand. She looks every inch the indomitable biker chick, and the guy she's with probably looks to the rest of the world like her hardened criminal boyfriend. But I know who he actually is. He's not showing off his power right now, but I don't need him to have granite skin to recognize Stonewall.

“Caleb?” Ysabel sounds suitably concerned. “What's wrong?”

Her voice alerts my past and current bosses to my presence. Gigi grins wolfishly at me, licking her teeth like she's imagining how I'll taste. I squeeze Ysa's shoulder before releasing her and giving her a light push towards the store's entrance.

“Go inside. Find your cousin.” My tone doesn't leave room for argument, and she does as I tell her. I shove my hands back in my pocket and approach the waiting pair of predators, fixing my face in an easy grin.

“Well, well, well,” I drawl. “What a small world. I didn't know you guys knew each other.”

“Real funny, New Guy,” Stonewall growls. “The lady tells me it was your tip that told her where to find me.”

Ohhhh, shit. I've been at this life long enough to know immediately that I'm in trouble—and to be struck by a strong sense of injustice, because there is no way it's my fault. I never told Gigi shit about Stonewall. But I also know better than to immediately deny it. Gotta play this smooth. I shrug, smiling placidly.

“I don't usually see you this deep in the city, G. What's the occasion?”

“I've heard tell Everett Rourke's dead.”

“Yeah. I heard that, too.” I decide to take a calculated risk. “...Am I in trouble for that?”

Gigi laughs. “You can't be blamed for a lunatic offing himself, can you?”

“I didn't tell him to do it.”

“Didn't think so. Still, I think it's time we take our attention off of the Island's Heart anyway. It's likely gone, just like he said. We should focus on what we do have, which is the Prism Crystal.”

“Yeah? I thought you said the Prism Crystal was junk next to the Island's Heart.”

“It is. All other things being equal, if you were given a choice between a flip phone and a state-of-the-art smartphone with all the bells and whistles, the choice is obvious. But you'd also still take the flip phone over a telegraph machine.”

“I...am not really following the metaphor.”

“The metaphor isn't the point. The point is that we're going to get our hands on the Prism Crystal.”

I can't keep up the poker face. I feel my placid smile dropping off my face and crashing at my feet. I look between Gigi and Stonewall.

“...Are you serious...?”

“It can be done. Your friend here has broken into Prescott Industries before, remember?”

“Yeah, I remember. I was there. I'm not doubting that it can be done. It won't be easy, though.”

Gigi reaches out to pat my cheek. I feel the tips of her candy apple-colored nails gently grazing my skin.

“Nothing fun is ever easy, sweetie,” she purrs.

“What do you even expect to do with it? You don't know anything about how it works...”

“I know it turned you boys into freaks. Albeit powerful freaks. Seems like a fair place to start, getting me in on that action.”

“It might not work on you. It don't work on everyone.”

“And it might work perfectly on me.” She moves her hand with the speed of a striking snake, grasping my jaw between her thumb and fingers and squeezing hard. Her fingernails press uncomfortably into my flesh, and saliva pools behind my lips. “Why shouldn't I have the chance to try?”

There's really no safe answer to that question. I mumble something vaguely concillatory and she lets me go, patting my cheek a little harder this time.

“Your job now,” she continues, “is to wait for my instructions. I will tell you how you can be of use when I know. In the meantime, lay low. Is that clear.”

I don't meet her eyes as I rub my jaw. “...Yeah. Yeah, I hear you.”

“Good boy.” Gigi cocks her head, grinning wickedly. “By the way, who was that little friend of yours? The one you were walking with?”

My eyes snap to her face, and I feel them go narrow. “No one you need to be concerned about,” I growl. There's a warning note in my voice. Gigi thinks she has me under her control for the most part, and for the most part, she's right. But we're both also aware that I could kill her if I had a mind to. All that stops me is knowing her loyal child army would find a way to end me, and the others would be left without protection. But if she crosses a line, I might pull that trigger. And Gigi doesn't know exactly where that line is. My one advantage is to keep her guessing.

Gigi eyes me critically, and I can see her debating whether to push it. But finally she shrugs.

“Whatever. She looks like the weak, fluffy type anyway.” She takes a final long drag on her cigarette and breathes the smoke into my eyes, chuckling when I wince. She drops the butt on the sidewalk and grinds it under the heel of her boot. “See you around, Caleb. Don't get into trouble in the meantime.”

They both depart, going their separate ways. For a moment, I stand frozen, reluctant to move until I'm sure they're gone. But before that happens, I find myself spun roughly around by my shoulder and pushed against the store's brick facade. A metallic forearm presses against my windpipe as I stare into a pair of furious bronze eyes.

“You wanna tell me what the hell that was?!” Talos snarls.

“What the hell what was?!” I snap back, my voice strained by the lack of air he's allowing me. “Are you talking about that ambush by Stonewall and Gigi?”

“It didn't look like much of an ambush to me. In fact, it sounded a lot like you've been feeding them information!”

“I haven't fed them shit! Listen...” I lower my voice, nodding over his shoulder. “You think we could maybe not do this in front of the kids?”

Talos turns to look and sees Dylan standing behind us with his arm around Ysabel's shoulders. They both look confused and a little worried. Talos slowly releases me, stepping back just far enough that he's not bearing down on me anymore, but still close enough to grab me if I tried to take off. I adjust my clothes, nodding at the kids.

“You two get on home, okay? Talos and I have grown-up stuff to discuss.”

Dylan and Ysabel exchange a look. Finally, Dylan sighs, steering his cousin away from us. “Just don't kill each other,” he mutters. “I don't want my shift tomorrow to be cancelled because the store's become a crime scene.”

I look back at Talos as the pair head down the sidewalk and turn a corner. “Think we can avoid costing the kid his shift tomorrow?”

“What do you really care? I would have thought legitimate employment would offend your anarchist sensibilities.”

I shrug. “Yeah, sure. But have you tasted the burritos at this place? I guess if I'm dead I won't really care about burritos. But I'm betting you care a lot more about that kid keeping his shift.”

Talos folds his arms, his bronze face twisting into a deep scowl. “You don't want me to kill you, you'd better start explaining what was going on back there.”

“What's to explain? Gigi and Stonewall are plotting to steal the Prism Crystal. How they ended up in contact with each other, I don't know. I didn't tell Gigi shit. I didn't even know where Stonewall was. The good news is, you know they're going to make an attempt to steal it, so you can warn Grayson and come up with a plan to protect it, yeah?”

Talos' mouth twitches as he processes what I'm saying. I feel my heart knocking anxiously against my ribs. I don't think for a second this is gonna be enough to make Talos totally trust me, but it's at least gotta win me a couple points, right?

“How do I know you're not playing both sides here? I overheard everything. I knew what they were planning before talking to you, and I could've warned Grayson without ever talking to you. You could be playing me by suggesting it, and the minute I'm gone, you'll find one of those two and warn them so they set a trap for us.”

“So don't include me in the planning process. I won't know what you're planning to do, and I won't be able to tell the would-be thieves. ...And if you could have warned Grayson without ever talking to me, why jump me just now? If you think I'm planning to double-cross you, you could have kept your advantage by not letting me know you were here.”

Talos' face registers shock, which is actually kind of hilarious in bronze. I smirk as the full implication of my question sinks in and he scowls again.

“You know what I'll do to you if Tahira ends up getting hurt, don't you?”

“Whatever it is, it's not gonna be enough to get you into her supersuit.”

“And winning my trust and gaining a place on the team isn't going to get you in there, either,” he retorts. “But if that's the whole reason you're doing this, you're going to fail anyway.”

It's my turn to scowl. I'm speechless a little too long, and Talos steps back, folding his arms with a self-satisfied smile.

“Don't worry. I don't actually believe you're doing this because you've got a thing for Tahira. I don't know why you're actually doing it, but I doubt Tahira is your type.” His smug expression shifts back to a scowl. “Tahira is my friend and my teammate. I'm looking out for her because it's what friends do. Whether or not she actually needs my protection she has it. And anyone who hurts her will quickly learn exactly what that means.”

I sneer, feeling my hands curl into fists at my side. “If you actually care about her, then stop threatening me and warn her that there's a fucking plot afoot to steal the Prism Crystal.” I turn on my heel, marching into the store. “I'm going to get my smokes.”

Alodia

“Will you look at that!” As Jake steers my car into a graceful merge onto the highway, I gaze appreciatively down at the rectangle of thin plastic in my hand. A smiling image of Varyyn in his holographic disguise gazes back at me. “A genuine fake ID.”

“It's not a fake ID,” Diego protests indignantly. “That's a completely legitimate California state identification card! We got it at the DMV and everything!”

“Yeah, you just gave them a fake birth certificate and a fake social security number. Not to mention a fake surname, Mister Vaanti.” I grin as I pass the ID card back to Varyyn through the gap between the front seats. Jake glances at the rearview mirror and the two men in the backseat.

“Did Zahra say where she got that social?”

“I didn't actually ask,” Diego admits. “I did make her promise not to use one from a living person. But I figure it's best I don't actually know. ...Zahra did suggest that we could use the birth certificate to apply for a legit social, but...it all seemed like it would take too long that way.”

Diego meets my eyes and we exchange a meaningful glance. He has a very good reason for not wanting to wait.

“Well, for my part, I trust Varyyn not to misuse the social of someone who isn't using theirs anymore. And I trust Zahra to cover everyone's tracks.” I manuever myself in my seat, fussing with my seatbelt.

“You all right?” Jake asks.

“Fine. My seatbelt just started riding up a little when I reached back.” I manage to get the lap belt settled under my belly and sit back with a sigh. “God, I feel like I'm getting bigger by the day. I can't believe how long I still have left.”

As I cradle my belly, Jake takes one hand off the wheel just long enough to place it over mine and squeeze lightly.

“It's gonna fly by,” he murmurs. I glance over and see him smiling dreamily even as he watches the road. “We're gonna wonder where all the time went.” He removes his hand and replaces it on the wheel.

“I'm glad you talked us into this, Diego. Once the baby is born it will be so much harder to find time for ourselves. It'll be nice to have a romantic weekend while we still can.”

“I'm glad I talked you into this, too. But you know that you'll have plenty of help with River, too. When you two need a break from the baby, you'll only have to say the word and we'll work something out.”

“Of course. Because you're going to be the best godfather my kid could ask for.”

“Aww, Allie. You're gonna make me blush.”

Conversation turns to baby-talk for awhile. Beginning with our collective excitement over River's impending arrival, then I confess what I realize are completely natural fears about the process of giving birth and the potential for complications. The men around me are confident, though. I'm strong, they tell me. Young and healthy, and my whole pregnancy has been progressing normally so far. There is plenty of reason to be optimistic. Besides, it's 2024, and we'll have all the modern advantages available to us. Everything will be fine, and once my daughter is born, I won't be the only lady in the house anymore.

Talk drifts slowly toward Sean and Michelle's wedding. Once they settled on California, of course we offered the beach house for the reception. With Sean's football star salary, it isn't like they are short of cash, but there's no reason to spend more than they have to. Besides, they have two weeks off, and most of it is going to be spent on their honeymoon. I know Sean would rather spend his money spoiling Michelle with gifts than on the wedding itself if he can help it. And since he has friends with a beach house and a friend who is willing to cater, he'll have plenty to spare.

They're planning to spend the first part of their honeymoon in the Caribbean, with at least a few days on La Huerta. It was a decision that surprised me a little, considering that they have been to the island every summer for the last few years, but as they explained, it is an important part of their history together. Besides, they've also booked a tour of Japan for the last week.

Jake and Mike were planning to fly them to Santo Domingo and ferry them out to La Huerta on a yacht, then pick them up a few days later. Jake is nervous about leaving me so close to my due date, but as it stands, I'm encouraging him to go ahead. Barring any complications between now and then, I'll still have a month left and he'll only be gone for a few days. Besides, it isn't as if Sean and Michelle wouldn't understand if we had to get someone to fill in for him if it comes to that. There's a reason Quinn is the back-up Maid of Honor.

“I'm kinda looking forward to this, honestly,” Jake admits. “I missed Grace and Aleister's wedding, and I'm sorry for it now?”

“...You did?”

He risks glancing at me long enough to give me a sad smile before he looks at the road again. “...It came at a bad time for me. I...didn't really trust myself to handle it well. It was selfish of me, really.”

Diego reaches up to squeeze his shoulder briefly. “No one blamed you, Jake.”

“Yeah, I know. And I really don't know if I could've handled watching it all unfold when I was hurting like I was. But...I missed seeing two of my friends get married. And I regret that.”

I reach over to stroke his arm. “This time, we'll be able to be there together.”

“Yeah...yeah, we will.”

He smiles as he flips the turn signal to the right and exits the highway. As we approach our destination, I lower my sun visor and pretend to be checking my makeup. In fact, I am watching Varyyn's face as it slowly dawns on him that we're heading toward an airport. A wrinkle of confusion appears in the skin of his forehead, deepening as Jake pulls into the valet parking lane and puts the car in park.

“Okay, everybody out,” he says cheerfully, popping the trunk. “Grab your bags.”

We climb out of the car and move to collect our meager luggage from the trunk while Jake deals with the valet.

“Is...Santa Monica further than I thought it was?” Varyyn asks uncertainly. “I didn't think we had to fly there.”

As the valet climbs into the driver's seat and we step up onto the curb with bags in hand, Diego winds his free arm around Varyyn's waist.

“We don't. We'll spend Sunday at the pier, but tonight and tomorrow, I arranged for something else.”

“Oh? What might that be?”

“Well...how much have you picked up about Las Vegas?”

“You mean 'Sin City'?” Varyyn replies with a wry smile. “Where people go to gamble and generally behave foolishly?”

“And have a really good time doing so,” Jake points out. I elbow him lightly, shushing him.

“Vegas is also kind of the wedding capital of the world,” Diego remarks. “Because Nevada marriage licenses are really easy to get.”

Varyyn seems to sense the direction the conversation is headed, but I don't think the penny has quite dropped yet. He looks bemusedly over at me and Jake. Diego sets his bag down and turns to take both of Varyyn's hands in his own, capturing his lover's attention again.

“Varyyn, we've been fasted partners for six years now. You are my life, my love, and the other half of my soul. Whatever else happens, I have faith that we will be together until death parts us. And since we were handfasted, we've decided to make our home in California, where I was born and raised.”

“D-Diego...are you...?”

I grab Jake's hand, grinning like an idiot as Diego gets down on one knee and pulls a velvet box out of his pocket.

“I've got everything arranged for us. All I need is for you to say yes. So...” he opens the box, revealing the elegant silver ring I helped him pick out only a couple nights ago, “...Varyyn, love and light of my life, will you do me the honor of wearing my ring and becoming my lawfully wedded husband?”

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howtohero · 5 years

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#206 Rural Superheroes

When most of picture superheroes they picture brooding men and women with capes draped around their shoulders and standing on buildings doing their best gargoyle impressions. Or you see them swinging and slinging around crowded streets using buildings as anchors. Or you see them hunched in a sewer eating pizza with their sewer-gator sidekicks after a long day of fighting crime. You definitely don’t imagine them standing next to a big pile of hay and holding a pitchfork and wearing overalls. (Guys I’m talking a huge pile of hay. Like the kind that looks like it’d be amazing to be dropped out of an airplane onto.) If you’ve never imagined a superhero stopping some disgraced middle school guidance counselor from rewriting reality and then going back home to milk the cows and tend to the corn then you’re just part of the problem. You need to reevaluate your personal biases. That’s right people, you heard it hear first! Superheroes can be countryfolk! And that’s a fact!

For some reason, lots of people think that the only reason any superhero would be in a rural area was if they were like, I don’t know, hiding their secret family on a secret farm. But that’s simply not true! In fact, that’s a terrible idea! Rural areas are not a safer place for your family to be, you know what kind of crimes go down in rural areas? Really weird ones. I’m talking like cow-related crimes. (Once the evil Cowcatcher built a giant cow robot to roam about rural Kansas just mooing really really loudly and scaring the stuffing out of everyone! That was a heck of a Thursday!) That’s just not normal! Don’t set up a secret farm to keep your family safe, just have a normal secret identity like everyone else and your family will be fine.

So if you live in a rural area and have been looking around at all the insane cow-crimes that happen in your neighborhood and felt that you had no choice except to throw your hands up, shake your head, and exclaim “Aw shucks, if only there could be superheroes in rural areas!” Then you’re in luck! There can be superheroes in rural areas! I’m serious, we had our interns check the laws and there’s nothing saying that it can’t be done! (Except for the laws about vigilantism and stuff but they’ve got those laws in the cities too and nobody seems to care!).

If you’re going to be a rural superhero though, you need to know that you’re going to have to operate a little bit differently than an urban crime fighter, but that doesn’t make you any less super! (What makes rural heroes less super is the fact that their are just less toxic-waste corporations in Middleofnowheresville, USA than there are in Heartoftheactionsville, USA.) For starters, you’re going to have an entirely different wardrobe in the country. Instead of grays and blacks you’re going to want to go with beautiful verdant greens and some mud-like gritty browns. If you’re going to be prowling around vast empty fields patrolling for cow-tippers and and goat-suckers, you’re going to want to look like a field. Glue bits of grass onto your costume, tape a live pig to your back, roll around in some manure. If you’re going to protect the farm you need to become the farm.

Living in a rural area also drastically changes the options for both superhero hideouts and supervillain lairs. While urban heroes might find their superhero adventures taking place in corporate offices with mysterious secret floors or abandoned subway tunnels that have become home to an evil rat hive mind, for rural heroes it’s gonna be all barns all the time. Barns make for rather spacious superhero hideouts, there’s plenty of room for any gear or computers you might need for crime stopping and conducting illegal investigations, you can convert any stables into holding cells or trophy cases, and if any civilians wander on by all you need to do is cover everything with a layer of hay and no one will be the wiser! Rural supervillains are also very likely to use barns as their lairs, their’s will just be littered with disemboweled animals and fake cobwebs from the halloween popup store because they have a taste for the creepier things in life. While a barn might not be as glamorous as a time-displaced spaceship or a high-tech cave, they are competent and cost-effective hideouts and are good enough for any countryside-crusader. The only think you have to look out for is Jhonny McBarnburner whose entire thing is burning barns and would probably be more than happy to set a superhero’s barn on fire. That’s like a double-whammy, and such opportunities are rare in Jhonny McBarnburner’s life. Honestly, you should’ve been there when he first discovered that some barns were actually secret superhero hideouts. It was actually kind of adorable. His whole entire face lit up, it was as though he’d finally be validated for his extremely niche modus operandi after all these years. So honestly, I say you capitalize on his newfound enthusiasm for barn burning and frame uninhabited barns for being superhero hideouts. This can be as simple as just putting a sign in the ground that says “superhero hideout” in front of random abandoned barns. That should throw him off your scent for a while.

Getting around rural areas is very different from getting around crowded cities. There’s not a lot of people around so you’re not likely to run into a lot of traffic, but at the same time, populated areas are very far from each other. Even the distance between individual houses is much larger than the distance between any manmade structures in a big city. There are also a lot less superheroes per capita. All of this means you’re going to be responsible for protecting a very large open area. Which means you’re going to need a very specific kind of super-vehicle. You need something that’s fast, something bright so people will see it on poorly lit country roads, something that’s doused in cow-repellant or whatever to keep animals out of your way. It needs to have off-road capabilities, because if there’s a crime being committed in the middle of a farm or on top of a mountain, you don’t want to have to ditch your vehicle and jog to the crime. That’s a great way for crimes to happen. You really should not put so much faith in your jogging abilities. You can’t jog up a mountain, but you can drive an obscene vehicle up one. That’s what makes it obscene. You also might as well drive something fuel efficient, something that runs off of vegetable oil or something, there’s plenty of it around.

Rural superheroes are also often, believe it or not, the first heroes on Earth to encounter alien invaders. Aliens just love alerting mankind to their presence through carving crop-circles and stealing cows. Depending on the species this can be anything from a harmless prank to a signed declaration of war. (Often the cow thing is because to most alien species, cows appear to be the most intelligent species on Earth. I mean, they live in their food, that’s just smart.) So you need to be prepared to single-handedly fight off an invading force at a moment’s notice. So I hope you’ve got some corn-powered laser blasters at your disposal, because you’re gonna need them sooner rather than later.

When it comes to crime fighting partners, you may find yourself in short supply. Heroes like Old MacDonald-Man or Crop-Top describe the loneliness as the most difficult part of rural crime fighting. In big cities you can’t walk more than five feet before bumping into someone who spends their nights wearing spandex and laying the smackdown on evil puzzle enthusiasts or finger-puppeteers. But in the country you’re likely to never run into another superhero in your neighborhood. That’s why you need to take on an animal sidekick. Fortunately, rural communities are a great place to find some domesticated animals that would be down to come fight crimes with you. In order to determine which farm animals would be the best crime fighting partners we actually took a husbandry course. (Ok, you got us, Dr. Brainwave got engaged and we all chipped in and paid for him to go to a husbandry course so he could learn how to be a good husband and the rest of us went for emotional support but it turns out none of knew what husbandry was and we were not in the right place but we learned a lot and had fun and it turned out that Dr. Brainwave’s engagement was fake and part of some villainous scheme to poison the concept of weddings or something so it didn’t matter anyway.) During this course we learned a lot about the breeding of crops and animals and we have scientifically determined that the best possible animal sidekick for a rural superhero is a goat on roller blades. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Are you idiots joking? You guys go on and on and on and on about how roosters are the best animal sidekicks and now you’re going to come at me and say that goats are the best animal sidekick for a rural superhero? Are you kidding me? Is this a joke?” First of all, yeah, everything we say is a joke. This is a comedy blog. And second of all, hey tone back the attitude why don’t you? Gosh you’re being real hostile about this. Roosters are the ideal superhero sidekick for urban or space-faring superheroes. But they’re useless for rural superheroes. Roosters are great for waking you up? Rural-superheroes already wake up with the sun to tend to their crops, don’t need a rooster. Roosters can fly? No crimes are committed in the skyline of a rural community. There is no skyline. Anybody can scramble to the roof of the local post office or pitchfork wholesaler, don’t need a rooster. Roosters can attack your enemies with their sharp beaks and talons? Uh, hello, pitchfork wholesaler? There’s no shortage of sharp farming tools that rural superheroes can use in lieu of a beak or talons, don’t need a rooster. A goat on roller blades on the other hand, can thoroughly mess a criminal up. Imagine all the rage and power of a common goat, but with the speed of roller blades? You rural criminals may as well just pack it in, you’re not getting away with anything with Thunderbolt Cannonberg, goat superhero, on the scene.

Crime is everywhere, even in the idyllic countryside. So don’t be afraid to be the change you’d like to see in your community and start fighting back against the chupacabra or Terrence, the kid who steals pigs. If you follow these tips, and take a moment to appreciate the beauty of the land and sky around you every once in a while, you should have a wonderful and productive career as a sylvan superhero.

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dammit-daroga · 6 years

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*bangs fists on table* DRAG LND! DRAG LND! IT DESERVES TO BE DRAGGED AND GOD BLESS YOU FOR SITTING THROUGH IT.

LND HATE IS WHAT THE PEOPLE WANT

okay here we go. just some, ya know, thoughts. off the cuff. uhhhhhh this is real long so see under the cut for all the Hottest of Takes: unedited

(tw for mentions of violence against women/abuse)

-this shit is,,,, SO misogynistic. like sure chrisitne gets like 47% more human agency than in phantom (y’all i ain’t even ragging on that one. that show is a jam and we all love it so its the ONLY free pass i give to ALW) but then that agency just evaporates in act 2 like sure shes like BITCH LEAVE ME ALONE but like,,,,, hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,,,,,,,,,,, love how all of act 2 is literally these 2 assholes deciding who “gets” christine like i’m so done

-okay related... maybe i’m gettin way too womens studies on this one but like.... the obsession?? with who gustave’s biological father is???? like bitch it DOESN’t MATTER he’s a sweet (if emo-inclined) kid. literally the obsession with male parentage is such a fuckin hold-over from primogeniture and the roots of patriarchal society like BITCH let him be a cute and talented kid

-also fbkjdbkfbaidubgariugbriub OF COURSE gustave is good at and likes music have you MET HIS MOTHER???? goddam christine just gets no respect in this show

-speaking of women who get no respect in this show WHY DID ALW HAVE TO DO MEG SO DIRTY. like hey how do we break and emotionally abuse this really sweet and loving character to the point of murder-suicide ideation? oh gee i know, only the Worst Possible Thing That Can Happen To Women: Prostitution and Rape! Perfect! like jhbdbflaukblubflud there are so many other ways to have gone about that which don’t involve sexual trauma also i can’t even get myself STARTED on the level of shit linking women, sex, insanity, Evil, Sin in General like FUCK i’m so angry

- u know what this turned into a women’s studies rant so ima keep running with it

-so the fuckin look with your heart song? really pretty, soothing lullaby type piece, honestly love that melody (im always a slut for 3/4 and 6/8 time) but holy FUCK the lyrics are way more YIKES than I remember from when i was like 13 or whatever. like i get that the intended point of the song was like “yeah love don’t judge people just love them!” which is nice and all but oh my GOD it can also be turned to be like “haha yeah absue is okay if you love each other” like the “forget what you think/ ignore what you hear” line rubs me the wrong fuckin way as a woman who has seen friends stay in abusive relationships and refuse to listen to the people who are concerned for them like oh my GOD just. idk. give it a listen with that lens. or don’t. will probably ruin an otherwise VERY pretty and wholesome song

-this wore me out emotionally far faster than expected. more another day.

-wait one more thing

- LET CHRISTINE HAVE THE LAST BOW YOU ABSOLUTE F U C K S like LND is a shit show but the titular song (despite it’s lyrics sounding like low effort first-try poetry) requires SO MUCH SKILL AS A SINGER TO PERFORM like that alone should earn homegirl the last bow but ya know whatever

-i hope i never meet ALW bc if i do i’ll probs be arrested for immediately punching him in the throat

-thanks for coming out tonight y’all i hate LND

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kisstheashes · 6 years

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Self Preservation CH. 7: Broken Toys

Summary: Torture toys were, unfortunately, few and far between for Anti. He knew he was lucky to find one so interesting.

Content warnings: graphic depictions of torture i.e eye gore, cannibalism, body suspension

Chapter Archive + Moodboard

Tagging:: @shadowstakeall @egopocalypse @antis-loyal-puppet @fandoms-creed @atlanta-art @steffid101 @starlightxnightmare @ratatat-barakat @here-be-becquerel @superbanananinja234 @floatingspacejunkie @watermelonsinmyattic @vity-dream @cute-anxious-kitten @sylver-rhymes (if you want to be tagged notify me! I’ll gladly add you to the list!)

A/N: There are a few things with this chapter that I want to mention: 1) This is a mega chapter. Its 6,000 words long. 2) PLEASE heed the content warnings. This is the most graphic chapter yet, and there are things in here that left me uncomfortable. Okay? I hope you still enjoy my evil ways! :)

JJ walked slightly behind Jackie, shaking. The halls were dark and silent. They had no direction this time, no static guiding them. Jackie seemed confident they'd find Marvin and escape, but JJ knew otherwise. Even if they could have found the way out, that monster would not let them leave. "Trying to find Marvin is going to kill us," he signed to himself. The sound of their footsteps echoing in the corridors was going to drive JJ insane. He needed to distract himself from the new nightmare he was about to be subject to. He swallowed the lump in his throat and started whistling.

Jackie flinched when JJ started whistling. It was a familiar tune by now, and though it was off key it didn't matter. The noise was a nice distraction. Jackie intensified his red glow, mind wandering. He hadn't thought that when he first met Henrik this is how their lives would end up.

Jackie heard an angry German accent as he walked passed the side street, then some very prominent threats. "Give me your wallet or I'll kill you!"

"You are not very creative, are you? I told you I do not have any money!" the German hissed.

A robbery. Jackie didn't care that he was in his street clothes; he ran to the scene. "Hey! No one is dying!" The robber was a young guy, possibly even a teenager. He was likely not much younger than Jackie. He was shaking and had wide eyes. He held a gun aimed at the older man whose back was to Jackie.

The teen aimed his gun at Jackie then froze, confused over something. "I-I'll kill you too! Get out of here!"

Jackie put his hands up, moving forward cautiously. "I'm not going to hurt you, kid. I don't want to hurt anyone. He said he doesn't have any money. Let him go." Jackie kept his voice low and calm.

"I know he's lying!" the kid screamed, gun shaking.

The German huffed. "Stupid kid!" The teen started pulling the trigger. "Scheisse!" The German went for the gun, but it fired. Jackie gasped, feeling the bullet tear through his gut.

"Fuck!" Jackie held his stomach, blood spilling through his fingers. The kid gasped and ran away with the gun, and the German ran to Jackie.

"I am a doctor, let me help!" He took a quick look at the blood pouring onto the pavement. "Will you let me take you to my home? It is closer than any hospital." Jackie flicked his eyes up to the man's face, shocked that it looked exactly like his. The German smiled wryly. "I will explain later! Let me help you now."

Jackie nodded. He didn't have a choice, did he? "Do whatever you have to, doctor."

After Jackie was stitched up and comfortable on the sofa, Henrik had properly introduced himself and explained why they had the same face. Doppelgangers existed after all. Jackie sighed and chewed on his lip. He really missed Henrik. He hoped they could get him back from Anti's corruption. He could still save his friends. He had to save his friends. He wouldn't be able to live knowing he failed them.

JJ heard Jackie take a deep breath as he continued to whistle. In any other situation, that would have been a sign of relaxation and contentedness. Jamie tugged on Jackie's sleeve. When Jackie turned towards Jamie he signed, "Can you see me?"

Jackie glowed a little brighter. "Yeah...what's up?" Jackie's speech was slow, like when he was particularly pensive.

JJ swallowed, the slight burn forever a reminder of how damaged he was. "That demon will not let us out of here. It has plans for us." He faltered, images of claws and sharp teeth invading his head. "It knows us just as well as we know ourselves. We cannot beat it." Jamie's hands shook as static tingled their skin.

There was a determined look in Jackie's eye. "We will. We have to. I won't let him win!"

Anti giggled as he glitched into the hallway, lights turning on. "You͏ ҉c͝a͏ǹ't͘ s̵ave͡ ąnyone̸, J͏a̡cki̷eboy҉ ͡Mąǹ,"́ he hissed. A deep scowl was on his face, and neon yellow eyes burned with seething hatred.

Jackie felt chills go down his spine. Those piercing yellow eyes were haunting in their abnormality. "What did you do?" Fear and anger gripped his chest, but he refused to let it show. His glow turned into a brighter, ladybug red and encircled his hands as he readied an energy blast.

"̢Not̴h͞i҉n̕g̷ you ͏ne̛e̵d ̧t̨o wo҉rry̕ a̧b̕ou̷t ҉jus͢t̛ ̢y̢et," Anti said through gritted teeth. He bared his teeth, blood residue still clinging to them. He noted his toy fleeing, and let him. He wouldn't make it out. Anti glitched within a few feet of Jackie, scowl on his face. "͜Y̕o̷u̶'re ͏w̷òŕthl͢ess, her͜o͜. ͞On̢ly̧ ҉p̸r͟ólo͞n̵g̀i͡ng͜ ͟t͡h͏e͟ ̢i̵nȩvita͢ble҉.͠..͞" His claws itched to slash through that irritating red suit. His blood would hardly show up on it.

Jackie could hear Marvin's voice in his head, telling him to wait. But Jackie had done enough waiting. He threw the energy blast that had been waiting, and it hit Anti square in his chest. The glitch stumbled and let out a growl that sounded like a broken VHS tape. A knife flew at Jackie and he jumped out of the way, nearly fast enough to look like a glitch himself. Jackie opened his palm and the light from the fluorescents flew into his hand. They were plunged them into darkness but for the bright orb in his hands, which he threw at Anti. Jackie watched his projectile graze Anti's arm as he glitched away, the glitch letting out a hiss. "Hope it burns, fucker."

Anti laughed bitterly, glitching behind the hero. He clawed into his back, Jackie let out a gasp before turning around to block another strike. He was stupid to take the only light they had, even if it was the most effective way to hurt the glitch. Anti could see him, but he couldn't see Anti. Jackie shoved then kicked Anti as hard as he could, coming into contact with the glitch's side. Anti moved silently, leaving Jackie like a sitting duck. He grinned, taking Jackie by the throat and slamming him against the wall. Jackie's head thudded on impact and he let out a deep groan. "͜Y̧o̕u may̵ ̶b͏e ̸super͘hu҉ma҉n but̵ y҉ou͢'̕r̴e̷.̵ St̸i҉ll̛. H͞ưman̷." He slammed Jackie's head into the wall again, before glitching him into an isolated room.

Disoriented by the concussion, Jackie couldn't focus enough to hurt Anti. He could only hear that damn twisted laugh before being left alone in a cold, dark room.

Anti glitched into the middle of a dark hallway, focusing in on his toy. He was still running, trying to find a way out. Anti could almost taste his delightful fear. His toy slowed and stopped; heart palpitating, tears falling. A lazy, wide grin split Anti's face as he ran his too-long tongue across his teeth. He'd waited a very long time for this day.

Jamie didn't need to hear the static to know the virus was suddenly standing in front of him in the dark. Feeling his corrupted aura was enough. JJ shook his head, shaky hands signing, "Leave me alone." His legs were too weak for him to run anymore.

Anti stepped within inches of his toy, staccato echoes of footsteps ringing. "͘Y͠o͢u'r͠e҉ mućh ͞t́o̴o fu̶ǹ f͟or͡ ̧that̷,"͏ he purred. Memories of Dapper tied down and screaming scratched under his skin. Anti gripped his toy's arm, glitching them into a small barren room, save for a few chairs and metal trays on stands, and something in the far corner Anti was saving for later. His toy was a shaking crying mess, unable to fight as he was tied to a heavy wooden chair. He gasped for breath, and Anti felt sparks go through him as he watched Dapper panic.

The monster ran his long tongue across his teeth, feeling giddiness spark his whole body. He twirled the knife in his hands. ͘"҉Wh͡er̷ę to s͡t͏a̕r͞t,͟ h̷m҉?" It hummed, then grinned. ͞"I w͜an̵t ͡to̸ ̷se҉e̵ ̸you̷r sc̀a̸rs,͝ Daṕp̨ęr̸.͜"͟ JJ shook his head, still crying. It felt like the beginning all over again. It tilted his head, contemplative. ̧"̷I th́ink yo҉u̴ ͘kņo̧w ̢t҉h̡àt'͞ş n͘ot ̴t͜he b̵egi͏nn̨i̸ng̶.͡" Jamie looked at the demon through watery eyes, seeing Sean. "͝J͟ac͝k̷," the monster reminded him through gritted teeth. "͢I t̢o͢l̶d̀ y̶o͘u ̀ţơ c̛a̛l̡l ͡m̢ȩ J҉a͏ck.̢" Its voice held a mangled Irish accent that was too heavy to be recognizable.

Jameson had successfully finished a film that day, and his friends took him to the bar to celebrate. He smiled. It was unwise of Jameson to expect anything more formal from them. Not to say he didn't enjoy himself; the bar was always fun. Enough drinks to black out, good music, and lovely women. However, this was a newly opened bar, with an unfamiliar atmosphere. Jameson stuck close to his friends, observing the other patrons rather than getting involved. It was crowded for a new bar, though he wouldn't complain. It wasn't polite to complain when one was being paid for.

He caught a glance of a figure on the other side of the room; a flash of pure green then nothing. Jameson frowned, wondering if the liquor was affecting him already. Perhaps it was merely a store sign from outside. It did seem oddly human, so it was likely the liquor. Jameson sat back in the booth, asking one of his friends to order him a glass of water. "Already? Come on, James, there is no way you're drunk! You've had two drinks!"

Jameson smiled wryly. "Mayhaps I am only tired. I prefer to not take the risk of a hangover either way." Two of the five of them were flushed with drink. He hoped no one would get in trouble with the law again. One of them ordered Jameson a glass of water, which eased his mind.

As he sipped the cooling drink, Jameson continued to spot green flashes around the room. He thought it curious that he did not feel faint or dizzy. No one else seemed to notice the green human-shaped flashes. "Interesting..." he murmured.

"What?" His friend shouted in his ear, much too loud. It made Jameson flinch. "It was nothing of importance," Jameson waved him off.

Another, more sober friend caught his attention. "We all are going to find women to dance with. Do you want to join us?" He'd seemed to notice how distracted Jameson was.

"I would prefer to stay here. I might take my leave early tonight. I'm quite tired." His mostly sober friend clapped him on the arm before joining everyone else to dance. Jameson sat alone in the booth, attempting to spot the green flashes again. He hadn't seen any for a few minutes. Perhaps the water was what he needed.

A spindly figure approached the booth, clearing their throat. Jameson had hoped they weren't interested in him. "Pardon me, but yeh look familiar." The strong Irish accent surprised Jameson, though not as much as the face. A complete look alike, save for the beard and piercing green eyes. His doppelganger smiled wide- it was one of the brightest smiles Jameson had seen in a while. "Do yeh mind?" He gestured to the seats. Jameson nodded, at a loss for words. The man sat opposite of Jameson and held out his hand. "Me name's Jack."

Jameson let out a huff of a laugh. "I'm Jameson Jackson."

JJ shifted in his binds and tried to regulate his breathing. He hated that memory. He'd been so inept. To think this monster was a friend. Foolish.

Anti smiled, shiny knife in hand. "Do y͘o͞u̢ r̕eme͡mb̀er w͠h̴a̶t҉ y̛ou so̧uņde̢d͠ ͡l͝i̴ķe, Dappe̡r?͠" He giggled and sauntered closer, placing the knife against the scar on his toy's neck. Dapper took a shaky breath, eyes sliding to the floor rather than Anti's neon yellow eyes. He scoffed. ̵"͟I͝ d͡id͟n'͝t͡ ̢th͜ink ͢so͜.̷"͘ He forced his toy to look at him again. ͏"̢I d͠o͘. ͟S̛ham̷e ͝you͘ ͡w̶er̢e so̶ án͠n̶oy̛i͝ng̢. ͏Yo̶u̸ŗ v͏o͜ic̨e ̛wàs͟ ́won̸d͠e͜r͏f͞u̸l.̵"̡̡ He grinned wide and shark-like.

JJ wished he could look away. Those neon yellow irises burned into his brain; he didn't need to look at this monster ever again. "Get away from me," JJ thought. He knew it could hear his thoughts. It always could.

It bellowed out a laugh- it was the closed thing to Sean's laugh that Jamie had heard in a long, long time. "Why͘ th̶e ̶fu͜c͞k ̡woul̸d ͘I ̀d̴o͞ ͘t͡hat̸? ͡Yo͟u̵'re͞ m͟y̶ toy҉, Dapp̧er̀.͜ ̀I̧ ͜ça͘n҉ d͟o҉ ̵w̸h͡ate̸v́e̵r t͘he̴ he͠ll͠ I̛ w͟a͏n̶t̸ ̡w͜i̴th y̛ou҉.̵"̀ The demon's voice still held that Irish accent Jamie had never heard before. It chuckled and turned away, headed for the metal trays.

"That's not your voice."

Anti stopped dead in his tracks, turning back around. He studied his toy, pensive. "͝No͝t ͞in ͘thi̴s̴ ͘body."̨ The thing fuzzed out like it was still settling into that borrowed skin. "De͞a͟r ol'̵ ̸J̨a̸ck ̛is m̵e ��f͠a̷v͡o̡ri̷t͠e̸ ̀to̡ug̷h̶.̢" The yellow irises were fading, right eye pure black. Anti hummed, flipping the knife in its hands. "O̡u̧t̸ ͏of̶ everyth͜i̶ng ̵I͏'̧ve͡ li̵ved ̴t̀h̛roug͡h̵,̸ t͜h͝i͟s c͟ertainly i͏s͢ t͏h͝e͞ ͝m̢os̨t͠ ente͢r̵ta̵i͝ning.͢.̨."͝

Jamie let out a breath that could have been a whine. "Why...?" He couldn't form a full thought, fear and the sound of static getting in the way.

Anti giggled. "I ͏wa͞s ̧tire̢d ҉of̢ ͞s͡i̧tt̨in͠g ̷and̷ ͝doi̡ng͏ ̴not́hi͡ng͝.͡ I'̸d ̴b̴een͟ ͞q̸u͠ie̶t͝ f̵or҉ ̶f̧ar ͏to͢o ̴l͘o͝n̵g.͞ I n͏ee̸ded ̀e̡xcite̛m҉ent."̢ He paused, a scowl showing up on his face. He glitched like he was coming apart, body contorting in impossible ways. ́"̨S͟t͞uck ̴i͟ns̕id̵e ͢a b̶ody̢ I̸ ͜k̀new͜ w͝as mi̢n͞e!̷ ́He҉ ̡refu̷sed to͞ ̡gi͠v̶e̸ mè th҉e̡ ̨c̶o͞n͡t͘ro͏l͞ ̨I̵ de͏s̕e͝r̡ved͝!̸"͏ he shrieked. Faint, historic voices played inside Anti's head. A reminder of what he once was. His neck snapped to the side, the slit on his neck tearing open a little wider. Fresh blood started trickling down to his chest. ͡"́So̵ p̸o͜si͜tive ͏I ҉w̴as͠ d͢ro͠wning!͘ H̀e ̢w͠a͜s muŗd͏ȩr̀ing ̵me̸.͡ Yo̷u͡ ̕all͟ ͡we̕re̢!̛"͢ ̴ He growled, now neon green eye burning with hate as he brandished his knife. "̶I ͟nev̡er̷ a̢ske҉d҉ ͠f̵o̷r̛ ̸thìs!̵ ̡T̵hey fo̢r̕c͝ed͘ t͏h̸is ̕b̸o̧d̕y͞ on m͘e!̧" Memories of those voices kept swimming inside his head. Arrogant attitudes and anger when the thing they created betrayed them. The centuries of alternating between leaving hoards of bodies in his wake then going into hiding so they couldn't find him. He wasn't going back to their slavery. He let out a small cry of pain as he glitched hard enough to feel himself start turning inside out. He scoffed. ̸"̴Per͡f̕ect ̀op̢p̡osi̴ţe͞,"͡ ̕ he mocked. T̷hey ͏w̕a͞n͠t͘e͢d Jac͠k͠ ͝t͟o ͠k͝i҉ll̢ me̶.͡.҉ ͜ ̢ Anti growled again, static crackling through the air like fireworks. He turned his attention back to his toy, heterochromatic eyes flashing yellow, red, purple. Remnants of lives gone by. A deep snarl resided on his face as he pointed his knife at Dapper. ͝"͝I n̛ęe͘d̢e̵d ͞y͘ou.̷ ͞Y̢o̡uŕ ͜féar ̵m̀a͢d͠e ̵me ͟s̷t͏ro͝n͏g̕er. I co̕ưld̵ st͡ąrt̛ li̢vi͏n̡g҉ ҉aga̕in! ̕T͜ak͞i̴n͠g͡ ͡w̸h̕at̕ ẃa̶s r͏ightfu̡ll̢y͡ m͘in͘e̷."̴ ̛ The epileptic glitches made it nauseating to look at him.

The only sounds following the demon's rage were JJ's heavy breathing and the deafening sound of static. JJ didn't understand. How could have his brothers been killing this demon? What was it babbling on about? "Who is they?"

Anti hissed like he'd been burned, eyes flashing pure black with green irises. "͏Eve͡nt͠uál̡ b҉o̕di̴es̶,́" he growled. Anti gripped his knife, sharp teeth bared. "̵N͢oẃ. Let̢ ͟me͞ ̕s̴ee th̸e s̢car̸s ̨I ͟m̶a͞d̵ę."́ He twisted the knife in his hands, taking hold of JJ's collared shirt. He cut through the clothing carelessly, leaving scratches and gashes in his wake.

JJ gasped every time a new cut was made. Scars would form on top of scars. "You're a monster," he thought.

A small, stuttering sound that sounded like a scoff left the demon's slit throat. "́I've bee͟n͘ ̨calle͢d͝ worse͞.̡" Every word that left that twisted mouth; every sound that left that slit throat left a panic inside JJ he couldn't quell. Memories of kind words and blinding smiles twisted within memories of betrayal and fear.

Anti finished ripping his toy's shirt to nothing, exposing his heavily scarred torso. The cloth tatters settled around Dapper's wrists and arms like another restraint. Anti stepped back, sharp teeth poking through the smirk on his face. "̵E̕vȩry҉ ͡si̸ng̨l̡e ̴on̶e..͡.l̴ef͠t҉ b̷y m̴é.̶" He grinned, those lovely memories making him crave more. His fingers tightened around the handle of his blade. Those historic memories had quieted, replaced with all of the things Anti wanted to do to his toy.

JJ hung his head, watching his blood color his skin and soak into the hem of his pants. Tears welled then fell as Jamie held back from the sobs that wanted to escape. "Why won't you kill me?" he cried out in his thoughts.

Anti had turned back to the trays, taking something small from one and pocketing it. Jamie's heart beat faster. The glitch kicked the empty chair closer to his toy. There was a sudden lack of static, the utter silence suffocating. He situated the chair slightly adjacent to Dapper's and stayed quiet, admiring his toy's scars. Anti sat in the chair and reached out with his knife and collected a stream of blood on it, licking it off. "̛I̸'͡l͠l k͏il҉l yo̢u ẁhen̸ ̨I g̴et̶ bo͡re͠d́ ͢of ͠y̴ou͢.̴" He hummed, licking up the remnants of blood from his knife. The demon glitched, grinning wide as the slit on his neck. "̧I̕ ̢h̷a͝v͝e s͏om̕ȩ ̵ve̛ry ͏special t̸h̢in͝g̷ş p͝l̸ann̷ed for͘ y̵o̵ú.,̧ ́D͟a͞p͞per͟.҉"

Jamie's lips parted in what would have been a whimper. Anti took a needle and threat out of his pocket, a static-filled chuckle escaping. "I͡f́ yo̡ư're͏ sti̷l҉l͜ i͜t w͠o͡n't hur̕t ̢s̶o̷ ̧muc͟h."͘ JJ glanced at the needle, fear in his eyes. Anti laughed and forced his toy's head up and to the side. He stabbed the needle through the lower right corner of JJ's lips. His toy tried screaming, breath coming out in short gasps. "You͢ ̡st̷il͢l͘ f͠òŗg̸e͡t̸ y͠o͝u ͢c̷a͠n't͞ sp͢e͘ak҉,̸ ̸Da͠p̀p̴e͞r,̶"̴ Anti giggled, continuing to sew JJ's lips shut.

More tears fell as the needle tore holes in his skin and forced his lips shut. He didn't ask- he didn't care why this was happening. It wanted to. It saw JJ as its toy. That was all he needed to know. It was more than he wanted to know. The pain from the needle was sharp, and the holes the glitch made burned like fresh fire as the thread ran through them.

Anti was concentrating, silent as he recalled how to stitch from all his time in Schneeplestein's head. When he finished Anti cut the thread with his knife. The job was rough and messy, tiny blood trails settling between his toy's closed lips and down his chin. Anti smiled as he ran the tips of his fingers over the thread. "̨Mu͡t̛es ̴h̸a͘ve no r̶ea̡s͡ón to͞ ̕op͝en͜ th̛eir mo̕ut͘hs͠, do͢ ̶th̡ey̧?"҉ The demon's smile turned into a sadistic, mocking grin.

JJ hung his head as he sobbed. "Please, stop. You've taken enough from me." His hands twitched in their binds, wanting to sign.

Anti hummed and got up from his chair, tossing the needle aside. It landed somewhere close with a small dink noise. "̸No҉t ̢q̴ui҉te ͏y̴et I ͝hav̕eǹ'̧t.͜"͡ Jamie heard things being moved around on the metal trays."I͞ ̡h̀ave ͞a͞ ̶few̛ ̕ḿo̶re͡ ̡i̴de̕as,͡ ͘Dap͟p̀er.҉"̵ He heard the demon walk back to him. The chair creaked with his weight as he sat down. It started glitching with excitement, his laugh low and like a buffering video. JJ glanced at him, those heterochromatic eyes haunting. There was a black and silver tool in one of Anti's hands. JJ didn't want to know what it was for.

Anti stood, a sharp smile on his face. His body contorted in impossible ways. Excitement electrified his veins as he grabbed his toy's hair and tipped his head back. He flipped the melon baller like it was his knife, giggling. "̧Which̨ ̧one, ̀w̸h͜ich on̸e̡.̸.̡.̢"

JJ was stone still with terror. He knew what this demon was going to do. JJ pleaded in his head, begging Anti to not do it. The thing smirked. "̷I ͠t̷hi͜n͟k͠ ͟the l͜e͏f͡t̴ on͞e͝ ͡w͘il͜l͞ ͠b̵e ̕b̸ett̡er.͠"͘

JJ tried struggling and turning his head away, but it was no use. The monster forced his eye open and slowly started taking his toy's eye.

His body strained and he struggled. Nothing Anti had done before compared to this pain. Blood streamed down his face and squirted everywhere. JJ's eye started popping out of the socket as the pain consumed him, making him sick and dizzy.

Anti bit his lip, breaking the skin and drawing a few droplets of blood to the surface. He contained himself and kept a slow pace, enjoying the sight of his toy's eye falling out of its socket. Bright blue and stark white covered in shiny red. Anti felt his borrowed heart start pounding, his hands shaking. He'd waited years for this. Everything had gotten in his way.

Blood poured down half of JJ's face and soaked the thread in his lips. His vision was flashing red and black and white. He could barely breathe and tasted copper. His body was giving out, muscles spasming and limbs going limp. His good eye was blurry with tears.

More than halfway through, Anti became impatient. His eyes were pure black and his claws were out, with sharp teeth and saliva dripping down his chin and getting lost in his beard. He snapped the rest of the nerves, feeling a severe full-body spasm go through his toy. He gouged out the eye the rest of the way, placing it in his palm. The demon dripped pink-tinted saliva from his teeth as he stared at it. The outer layer was broken in a few places, oozing the fluid inside. It was so warm yet so cold. So perfect. Anti looked into the dead iris, lost to the world. His body was pulsing with excitement and hunger. The forgotten melon baller clattered to the floor.

JJ was breathing hard through his nose, body still spasming. He could feel how empty the socket was, and it felt indescribably wrong. He couldn't see. He didn't think he wanted to see at all anymore. "Take the other one!" He screamed in his head.

The thought startled Anti out of his trance. He frowned and wiped away the saliva on his face, smearing blood instead. "͟Ẁhy̵?̶"͜ He sat in the empty chair. "̷I̕ ̡d͡o̡ǹ't ͝wan̸t ́bo̵t̡h̸."̶ Anti's voice was thick with electronics and an Irish accent, pitch shifting wildly. JJ blinked some of the tears away and watched the demon. His own eye was sitting in that clawed hand. That sick smile and pitch black eyes tormented him. "Per̵f̧ect.̵..̧" Anti breathed. His toy was perfect.

Anti's eyes dropped to the eye in his palm, excitement buzzing. "W͜atc̶h ̵me͞.͠"͢ Dapper's other eye looked as dead as the one in his hand. Anti's long tongue poked out from between his teeth and lips as he brought the eye up to it, careful of his claws. The demon licked it, a pleasured shudder going through his body as elation glitched his body. He pressed the eye to his lips, heart pounding. Anti bit the eye in half, the fluid running over his lips. He moaned as the taste exploded in his mouth, closing his eyes and tipping his head back. His skin tingled as he chewed on the half. It was soft and slightly rubbery and smooth. The eye fluid had a particular taste that Anti couldn't describe but relished in. His body glitched, exposed slit throat spasming and a trickle of blood slowly running down to his chest. He swallowed, a breathy moan leaving his lips. There was a pause as he let the taste linger in his mouth, long tongue snaking out from between parted lips. His eyes fluttered open and he smirked, popping the other half into his mouth. Eyes had always been his favorite body part. Anti licked his hand clean of blood and eye fluids, tongue wrapping around his fingers and gliding up his claws.

JJ wished he could scream. Blood still ran down his face, new blood flowing over older, sticky blood. The sounds that left that creature were disgusting and torturous. If Jamie were naive he'd wonder how it could receive pleasure from such an act. His empty socket felt foreign and full of dull, throbbing pain. Anti let the pleasure and fading taste simmer for a few more moments. He ran his tongue across his teeth, staring at his toy's exposed skin. "W͞hy ̴dídn't̛ ͏I̵ ̶try ̕you soon̛er̨..̧.?͢" he mused.

Jamie shook his head, begging the demon to stop. Anti leaned forward in his chair, propping his head up in his hand. "͜Ýo̢u҉ ̢kǹo̡w̡ ̛t̡h͞at̸ yo̸u ̢ha͡v͝e̢ no say͢,̷ ̕D҉a͜pper. ̧I'm̵ in con̨t͠r͜ol͞."͜ The thing grinned, teeth stained red. "͡Nów,͏" it chuckled, "̷sh̀oul͢d I҉ ̀uşe m͢y t̵e̛eth͝ ͏or̨ ͏ḿy͞ k̛nif̧e?"̴

JJ started sobbing again. He wanted to die. He wanted to be blind so he'd never have to see this monster's face again. He wanted to be so mutilated that Jackie would mercy kill him. "Anything. I don't care."

Anti narrowed his eyes. His toy seemed to forget he could hear every passing thought. "̡Y͟o͘u ru̶in m͟y ͏f̡ưn wi͞th͠ ̵yo͝ur ̶si͝lly̸ ̀f̸uc͘k͢i̵n͟g ͝d̀esi͡r̶e̕s. I'̴m̡ ̴f͜or̕ce̛d ͟t͘o͠ g̵o͘ ͟s̀o͜f͏t ҉o̶n you͘," Anti sneered, a low ringing noise filling the space. There was a moment where everything was still, then an utterly feral sound left Anti as he lunged for JJ, teeth sinking into skin and tearing off a chunk of his arm. A harsh, long breath left Jamie as his lips fought to be free of the thread. His binds disappeared and JJ found himself on the ground, the sound of splitting wood in the background. Anti was on top of him, choking him. JJ didn't have the strength to fight back. "Fucki̡ng͘ ̶p̨a̷th͜e͟t̡ic ͢c͟r̡ea̛t̢u҉r͘e!̨" it screamed.

Jamie didn't have a choice but to look at the thing. His eyes were pure black except for the neon green irises, brighter than ever. His ears were pointed, and its mouth stretched wider than should have been possible, sharp teeth dripping with blood. Up this close, the neck wound was disgustingly deep, varying shades of red and brown and black, the last few drops of dead blood pooling into the torn skin. Jamie could feel the claws around his neck as he suffocated, creating new wounds. The demon snarled like a rabid animal, too-wide mouth in an awful twisted scowl. "I ̢c̸ou͜l̢d̵ l̡èa͠v̡e ͜y̸ou͢ ̶to r̢o͡t͏!" ́ His voice was too high; an ear-splitting shriek that made JJ feel like his ears were bleeding. ͠"Bu̷t̨ you ̛wan̷t m̸e̵ ͜t̨o!̷ A͡nd w̕hy̧ ̴sh̕o͜u͜ld̶ ̸I ͡do ̧àny͞t͘h̢iǹg͢ y̧o̡u want͏?͟ Y̵òu̵'r͢e m͞in͘e̢!̧"͟ Claws slashed through JJ's side, making him writhe. His own blood dripped off of those inhuman teeth onto his body. ̶"̡Yo̸u'̛r͜e̶ ̛w͢e͠ak!̛"̕ The thing's voice doubled over itself, bouncing off the walls and in Jamie's head.

JJ was shaking, unable to draw a breath as the monster's hand tightened its grip around his throat. His hands on the thing's wrists were the extent of his fighting. It leaned down, black and green eyes boring into JJ's singular blue eye. Those sharp teeth in his peripheral44d reminded Jamie of his past. "͢I ͡c̷òu̕ld le̛ave y͏ou h͟ere ҉to fu̡ck̢ing ble̢ed̶ ̷o҉ut over̢ an̨d̀ ̷ov҉ȩr ̀w͏hile ̕I ̨have ҉fun wit̷h ́y͡o̡ùŗ 'hero͜'," ̸it growled. Jamie's fear clogged his chest, and his hands fell from the monster's wrists. Jackie couldn't get hurt. Not because of him.

With a snap of his fingers and a shower of sparks, a knife appeared in Jamie's hand. He swung as hard as he could, catching Anti's shoulder and tearing through his shirt. Anti's hand disappeared from around his neck, his systems shocked. As Anti stood up, JJ's eyes locked onto the sliver of that old burn scar Marvin left years ago showed through the torn shirt. The burn scar that spanned his whole chest; ugly and deep.

A grin split Anti's bloodstained lips as a low giggle escaped. "̶Kée̢p͠i͏nǵ s͠e͜cr͘et͏s?͜"̶ He started emitting a low hum, green and black eyes wandering to the knife in his toy's hand. That was his knife. His toy had the power to summon it from somewhere else in the room. ̕"I'ļl ̧leaŕn ͜t҉h̴e͠m ͜all̕- ͝įn ͡ti͘me.͟" His smile widened as his focus drifted to the far left corner of the room. JJ wished that monstrous smile could be wiped away forever.

The soft thud of the monster's boots filled the silence of the room. Slow, unhurried, quiet. Jamie shifted onto his side, following it's gaze to a seemingly small piece of dim metal. JJ felt himself break inside as he started sobbing. Why couldn't this be over?

Static crackled through the air surrounding Anti as his smile relaxed into something lazy. His gaze wandered over to the abandoned tools for a moment, irritated his toy claimed to want to die. So many plans ruined. But not this one. "҉N̸o..͘.t͠h̕i̢s͢ ẃi͝ll ҉ne̸v͝er gįv̵e yo͏u you̧r ̨ŗelie͝f͘,"͘ he whispered. Static danced on Anti's skin as he stopped in front of the device, admiring the sharp tips and smooth metal. He took a breath, his excitement going to his head. He grabbed the ends and pulled them towards his toy, the old gears protesting in the pulley above.

Chains clinked and clattered as they moved through some sort of system. Jamie's heart stopped when he saw the devil walking towards him, pulling something with extraneously large ends. He knew now that if he went blind the only thing he'd see for the rest of his days would be who Jamie could only assume was the devil himself. It stopped close enough that JJ could only see it's black, scuffed boots in front of him. It knelt down, sharp smile seeming to have become sharper. "́Oh, ͝n̵o͘...̛I'̛m n̛ót th͜e̷ de̷vil̸,͜ D͡a̷pp̧er," it breathed, smile widening and eyes brightening. "T̸hȩy'̶re͝ ̵m̵u̶ch ̶w͡ors͡e̵ thąņ m̕e҉.̡"

It grabbed Jamie by his neck, forcing him up onto his weak legs. He tried to cower and run as he saw what was in the thing's opposite hand, dropping the stolen knife in his panic. Large, shiny hooks. Meat hooks, if Jamie wasn't mistaken. His arm was grabbed by the monster's other hand, claws cutting into the soft flesh. A feral growl left it. "You͢'re͢ ̛n̡ot ̕ǵo̢in̶g͠ ąny͘w̕h́er͘e̷."̸ It forced JJ closer to it- so close he could smell how foul the thing was. It tightened its grip on Jamie's neck until he couldn't breathe at all. JJ fought as hard as he could, but it was of no use. He felt himself weakening until he couldn't fight anymore. Silent sobs left him as he accepted his fate.

Anti chuckled, watching his toy's defiance die in front of him. He shoved his toy in front of the hooks, facing away from them. Anti took only a moment to admire the hooks again before stabbing one into his toy's right shoulder blade. Dapper spasmed and a long wheeze left him as the hand around his throat disappeared. Anti stabbed the second hook into Dapper's left shoulder blade, quiet as he shoved it deep enough. He adjusted the other side, working quickly before his toy could try running off again. When both hooks were deep enough, Anti took a moment to admire the blood running down his toy's back before ripping the remains of Dapper's shirt from his wrists. Anti took an ice pick from the trays and walked back over to the left corner, pulling on the chain.

JJ felt the hooks in his back tugging, then gasped as he felt the muscles in his back ripping open even more. He panicked when his feet started raising up, and he couldn't touch the floor. He would have gasped if he could, feeling his shoulders tear open more and blood run down his back as his whole weight was put on the hooks. Jamie stayed stock still, terrified that if he moved his whole back would come apart. He breathed in short bursts, his chest feeling like it had closed on itself. He tried to raise his arms to help himself but moving them only dug the hooks deeper into him, tearing farther into his muscle. Jamie sobbed with abandon, knowing he would die here.

Anti stabbed the ice pick into the wall, forcing the chain pulley to stop where it was- leaving Dapper hanging halfway to the ceiling. He ran his tongue across his teeth, letting out a low breathy moan as he circled his toy from below. "̶Your ne̷w̸ pu͜p͢p̵et s͠t͡ri͡n̨g̵s lơo͟k ͜g̸o̶o͘d͝ ǫń y҉ou." He smirked, tracing his claws down his arm. This body proved to be...reactive.

Anti chuckled as the low hum in the room became louder and resonated in JJ's bones. Static lined his wounds, pushing on wounds that tried to close. JJ fought his body's instinct to writhe with the pain, feeling the hooks tear farther into his muscles and skin. His mouth strained against the stitches holding it closed. His empty socket filled with static that was painful and meaningless. Jamie's world darkened and swam; objects doubling up and fizzing out of existence. JJ didn't understand how he wasn't dying.

Anti stood still as he watched his toy's body fight the pain. Anti's claws absently raked through the air as time warped around them. The first instance he'd warped time it was painful and taxing. His host hadn't been able to withstand the altered state of reality and collapsed into itself. This one could. Because unlike others, this body was his. This body was meant for him. That ungrateful shit who inhabited it before was an impostor. Sean never realized what this body could do. How powerful it is. How it hummed with energy meant for Anti. How Sean took that energy and made a fucking career out of what was never his! He was always meant to lose. He could not keep fighting in a body who's every particle rejected him. Anti scowled. That damned doctor had nearly gotten his way. Anti snarled below the sound of the hum. That near success was the only reason he kept Schneeplestein alive. His skill was too valuable to lose.

Time jerked to a halt, then seconds started ticking forward again. JJ breathed heavily through his nose, again forcing himself to go against his instinct to curl up on himself. Blood still dripped from his body. His head felt fuzzy from the pain. His...his back. Something wasn't right. The hooks weren't moving much anymore. It felt like the hooks had made a home in his body. JJ heard the thud of footsteps, seeing it stop a few feet from where he was hanging. The monster studied him like he was prey.

Anti smiled wide, giddy. The skin and muscles on his toy's back had fused onto the hooks, making sure he wouldn't go anywhere unless he was ripped off by someone else. He admired his work for a few moments, seeing how the skin clung to the hooks like they were meant to be there. He hummed, picking his knife up off of the ground. He glared at his toy as his thoughts moved to the last person in his way. "St͢ày̨ ̕p̵u̢t ̵wh͠i̢le͢ I̷ ͜k̀il̕l you̢r ̷h͜ér̕o,"́ it spat.

"What did you do?" JJ cried in his head. Nothing felt right. These wounds should not be on his body. He didn't understand how he knew that- it was an instinct embedded in his body.

"̴Yòųr҉ "h̶er̕o" ̵h͝a͟s̢n'͜t h͏a͜d ̷t͢ime t̶o ̢r̶un.͢"͏ Anti cleaned his knife on his torn shirt. His toy would understand. Eventually. Not that it mattered. That damned hero would still be dead.

#jacksepticeye #jameson jackson #antisepticeye #jse egos #jse fanfiction #horror fic #jackieboy man #im sorry #yall are gonna murder me im s o r r y #also pls tumblr for the love of fuck work with me #i hope read more works #i hope everyone gets notified #hhhhhhhh #self preservation #@sylver you didnt ask to be tagged but you seemed enthusiastic bout my story #ashes writing corner

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smoaking-greenarrow · 7 years

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#10 😃

Arrow Out of Context prompts!

“Yes. Or as I like to call her, your psycho ex-girlfriend.”

Her husband was dangerously close to the edge of reverting back into self-blaming mode. After Vince’s death, with Dinah on a one woman mission to kill James’ whole team, and a scared city under the thumb of a psychopath, he was feeling pretty hopeless.

“Oliver,” Felicity said, shaking his shoulders a little bit as she stood in front of him. “We can do this.”

He sighed, blowing out a breath and closing his eyes. “I really hope so.”

Felicity wrapped her arms around his neck, nudging herself between his legs so she could hug him. He hugged her back instantly, but she kept her grip tight until he relaxed. Finally, his shoulders slumped and he let out a deep sigh.

She frowned, not liking how stressed out he was. He’d moved on from the days of believing that every scratch and bruise in the city was his fault. But he still had his moments.

Especially after his talk with Dinah.

Their friend was in a world of pain, and Felicity knew that with a heart as big as Oliver’s, he had to be taking some of that pain onto his shoulders, too. It was who he was. “It’s going to be okay,” she murmured. “Dinah is going to be okay.”

“I know,” he mumbled back softly, his hand rubbing her back as he pressed his face into her neck. “I love you.”

Pulling back when his beard tickled her, she grinned, quirking her shoulder. “I know. I love you, too.”

Hey, uh, Felicity?”

They both turned to look at Alena from across the bunker, where she was on Felicity’s computer, trying to find more about the footage of Cayden’s son. Felicity frowned as she leaned past Oliver, who stiffened even more at the sound of Alena’s voice.

Rolling her eyes, Felicity led him over to her computers. “Who is The Huntress?” Alena asked, her brows furrowing as she pointed to the screen.

Felicity gasped as she saw the photos. The traffic cameras picked up Helena Bertinelli’s face. Nudging Alena aside, Felicity tapped on her keyboard until more pictures flooded the screen. “Cameras show her heading straight for Star City.”

Oliver’s jaw tightened, “Her cousin is dead, maybe she’s just coming for the funeral.”

Felicity gave him an incredulous look. “Pretending the sentence you just formed wasn’t as naive as ‘hey, maybe I should sleep with this woman,’” Felicity imitated his voice. “Maybe she’s coming to kill a ton of people to avenge her cousin’s death like she did for her fiance.”

Oliver sighed, pressing his fingers to his temples. “Why would she do that?”

“Why did Cayden have to kill Jerry Bertinelli? Why do insane people do anything?” Felicity countered, her eyes wide.

“She’s not…Helena is not insane. You’ve been keeping tabs on her, Felicity, but so have I. She’s gotten better since we last saw her. She broke out of prison months ago and hasn’t dropped a body since her father died.”

“Right, and if it had been anyone else, we wouldn’t have even given them the opportunity.”

“But she didn’t.” He said lowly. Felicity let out a disbelieving breath.

Oliver sighed, “Adrian Chase was kidnapping my son, threatening everyone I love, and blowing up an island when Helena broke out of prison. I didn’t really have a day off to track her down.”

Felicity raised an eyebrow, her eyes narrowing. A question, or maybe a lecture, was on the tip of her tongue, but before she could respond, Alena whistled. “Okay, so aside from complicated, who exactly is The Huntress?”

Oliver’s eyes shifted to the brunette, and Felicity gritted her teeth as annoyance crossed his face. “Her name is Helena Bertinelli.” He mumbled.

“Yes. Or as I like to call her, your psycho ex-girlfriend.” Felicity offered sarcastically.

Her jealousy was adorable most of the time…endearing, but not when it was about The Huntress. Not when it was over a killer who had a reputation like this. Not when Helena had already tried to use Felicity, when she could have hurt her… He just wanted his wife as far away from Bertinelli as possible. Oliver sighed, “Honey, we don’t have time for this.”

Felicity shrugged, sitting down next to Alena. “Alena can keep working on the video, you and John can hit the streets for Cayden James’ men,” she cracked her knuckles, “and I’ll try to figure out what your psycho ex-girlfriend is doing back in town.”

Her husband winced, “Fine, just… please stop calling her that.”

“Why? You think the woman who cried over her father’s death… because she wasn’t the one who killed him…isn’t crazy?”

Alena’s eyes widened, and Felicity met her gaze and rolled her eyes as if to say, I’ll tell you about it later.

Oliver really didn’t like this.

When he huffed, Felicity shrugged, and Alena opened her mouth to say something. Oliver held up his hand, “It was a lot more complicated than that.”

Alena raised her hands in surrender, “No argument here. I was just going to say that if she came back here to get the rest of the Bertinelli inheritance, Star City Bank might be a good place to start?” She asked, looking at Felicity.

Felicity nodded, her fingers already flying across the keys. “The Bertinelli estate was just sold last week. Since psycho ex-girlfriends don’t have rights to family fortunes, Jerry’s daughter was the sole benefactor. She sold the property and made a significant amount of money.”

“Enough to draw your husband’s ex back into town?”

Oliver growled under his breath, now they were just trying to annoy him. Felicity shrugged, “Maybe she came back to take the money she thinks should be hers.”

Alena held her hand out, and Felicity slid her fingers across her palm. “Let’s go hunt a huntress.”

Oliver’s eyes narrowed, clearly displeased.

“Do you have a problem with that, Oliver?” Felicity asked, glancing up from her screen as she typed, leveling him with a look. He’d only been married to her for a few weeks, but he knew that look. He’d be sleeping on the couch if he wasn’t careful with his words.

“I just think that I should stay here. We should be focusing on Cayden James.”

His wife raised an eyebrow, “Well I think…that if Helena is a threat to the fine people of Star City, as history proves, as well as one very uncomfortable night spent tied up on my office floor…then we should be multitasking, not ignoring her and letting her do whatever she wants because you used to sleep with her…honey.”

Oliver pinched his lips together. “Can I talk to you?”

Felicity sighed, giving him an apologetic look. “You can go, Oliver.” She said gently, “we’ll get a start on this.”

Oliver’s eyes drifted between the two women, his lips pursing. “I think John can handle it for tonight.”

Felicity shook her head, “What will you do here? Watch over our shoulders?” She frowned, “You know I hate it when you do that.”

He put his hands on his hips, glancing at Alena again. “I’ll just wait and see what you find…and then you and I can go home.”

She cocked her head to the side, “This will probably take a while.”

Oliver let out an exasperated breath, “Can I talk to you for a minute?” He asked again. This time he reached for her hand before she could reply, and she let him pull her up from her chair and lead her into the back room.

“Why are you so against finding The Huntress?” Felicity demanded before he could speak.

Oliver closed the door behind him with a sigh, “I don’t like leaving you alone with her.” He whispered honestly.

“The Huntress? What?”

“Alena.”

Felicity dropped his hand and crossed her arms, “I don’t need a babysitter. I’m not going to go all ‘dark Felicity’ again just because I’m friends with Alena.”

“That’s not…you know that’s not what I mean.” He reached out to hold her waist, his eyes meeting hers. “I just don’t like the idea of you being alone with someone who worked so closely to Cayden…who we still know so little about, Felicity.”

“She’s one of the good ones, Oliver. She’s not going to convince me to drink the cult kool-aid if you leave her alone with me for a few hours.”

He stared at her, “What I mean is…” he said slowly, “what if she hurts you?”

Felicity laughed once, stepping closer to cup his face. “She wouldn’t.”

He clenched his jaw, his eyes hesitant as he looked at her. “I don’t trust her.” He mumbled.

Felicity raised an eyebrow, “So…you don’t trust the woman who’s been down here trying to help us stop Cayden James for weeks, but you trust the woman who tied me up, took your friends hostage, and who kills for a twisted vendetta?”

Oliver huffed, “I never said I trusted Helena.”

“Then why don’t you want to find her?”

He sighed, “I do. Just not if it means leaving you here alone.” When Felicity just raised an eyebrow, Oliver cocked his head to the side, “We’re talking about Alena right now.”

Felicity shrugged, “Right. Alena… who I trust. Do you see the irony here?” she asked, her eyebrows furrowing. “You are the one who has bad judgement when it comes to beautiful women,” she said, poking a finger into his chest.

He cringed, both at the sharp jab of her finger and at her words.

“I tend to be a pretty good judge of character.” She wrapped her arms around his neck, tilting her head to the side and smirking.

Oliver narrowed his eyes, “Don’t try to be cute with me. You’re not fighting fair.”

“I’m not?” She teased, biting her lip and stepping closer. He let out a noise of disagreement. “Look,” she continued, “either way, we can’t just let Helena waltz through town without knowing what she’s up to. Alena can help us, and she wants to. That’s good enough for me.”

He sighed, shaking his head as he looked down at her. “It’s not ‘good enough’ for me…not where your safety is concerned, Felicity.”

“And I love you for that, but you need to trust me.”

Oliver’s eyes flickered. She knew that bringing up his trust in her was always the button that could be pushed to make him do anything she asked. “I do trust you.”

“Then you’ll go help John find Cayden’s evil posse tonight, and I’ll call you if we hear anything about Helena or the video footage.”

Oliver closed his eyes, his fingers tightening on her back. “Could you just…could you please call me either way? So I know you’re okay?”

She nodded seriously, pulling his face down so she could rest her forehead against his. “You know, Dig taught me how to get out of zip ties now, so if The Huntress does show up again…”

Oliver winced, frowning at her, “You’re not funny.”

Felicity smiled, letting her nose brush against his. “I’m kinda funny.”

“Mm-mm,” He disagreed, brushing his lips against hers.

“I will call you.”

“Thank you. I love you.”

“Hey guys,” Alena’s voice came from the doorway just as Felicity was about to kiss her husband. Turning to look at her, Oliver’s hands tightened on Felicity’s waist, holding on to her hips protectively. “Sorry to interrupt, but psycho ex-girlfriend is breaking into Star City Bank.”

The women both heard him growl again, assuming that he was irritated about having to bust a bank robbery. But he really just hated their amusement in reminding him that he’d dated Helena.

#arrow #olicity #olicity fic #prompts #arrow out of context #olicity fanfiction #arrow 6x12

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