#heyshonaposts

[ayuforreal]

Pillow talks.

*Chapter 46 from the book I can never complete. * "please dont break.." i whispered as i stood in front of the mirror checking how i looked.. "what the fuck naina.." i didnt notice KV standing right near me. he might have heard my little conversation with objects like mirror and shoes and things.. "too late to realize i'm weird." i shrugged and sat on the bed to tie my shoelaces.. "as quoted in Benjamin button,  its never too late or too early to be whoever you want to be.. so mending that," he sat next to me, reciting all those bleh bleh words.. "ugh." i rolled my eyes on him at which he chuckled. "dont you have to use the mirror? i left it for you.." being done with my laces i was finally ready to go. "do i look like i need to ?" he smirked as he stood up showing up his perfection. how was he always so well dressed. i've seen guys spending around half an hour to set their hair like the way they want and this guy is so sexy in any way, no significant effort. how did he do that.. i looked at his perfectly set hair and stroked my hand all over them, totally messing them up.. "now you do" i laughed and picked my bag quickly and sprinted away from the room before he could catch me. he tried running after me but i was long gone. on my way,  i fell at the entrance of the elevator and got a bruise on my cheek.. if i wasn't so experienced in falls, i would have cried and called for first aid but instead i womanned up and stood like nothing happened. later when we joined other down in the lobby to start our trips, KV didnt really notice my bruise because of my bangs on the opposite side but somehow Amruta did. "oh my god Naina..what is this.." concerned she touched my cheek and i shrieked so loudly. "eh nothing.." i replied as i moved her hand away. "Nainaa how did you get this?" kv touched my cheek in the softest way possible. "KV? what did you do?"  divya joked. "divya does this look like a hickey to you? stop that " Amruta snapped. "no she was alright in the room.something might have happened like right now" kv ignored divya's joke. "guyyysss i'm okay. i just tripped in front of the elevator and knocked my cheek.. its fine. i get bruises like this always! dont worry.." i shooed everyone away from my closest vicinity and smiled widely. although it hurt like hell but still i did.  "oh and whats a hickey?" i asked in that lethal amount of innocence that could be easily taken as stupidity.. it wasnt even 2 whole seconds that all four of them started laughing hysterically. but kv wasnt laughing.. "she's so cute aahahahahaha" Rudra laughed. Kv , lightly smiled and wrapped my shoulders by his hand and started heading back to the hotel.. "emm going for first aid. will take 5 minutes max" he waved as Adarsh and Rudra still laughing got inside the rover. "why the fuck were they laughing." i asked again. "because you're the cutest creature on this earth.. and i love you." he spoke slowly while putting an ointment on my skin. "they were laughing bcz you love me? of course thats a thing to be laughed about but also, they were laughing because i asked what a hickey was." "Naina. why dont you google it how to give an hickey?" he hid his smile by his hand while i opened my phone to check. "uh oh ..." i made a weird face. "that.oh." love bites!!!! fucking love bites !! yes my bruise does look like a love bite !! "i'm such a fool." i made an awkward face.. "haha its okay." "but the question remains, how do you get them?" i asked, totally confused. "Naina..eh. enough embarrassment for today ?" he sighed and smiled. and we returned back to them so that i can be totally flushed. that day i bonded with everyone except Divya who was way too jealous and reluctant to talk. rest, everyone seem to like me. Amruta found me really cute and honest so she was mostly with me for the rest of the day..like we were some sorts of best friends. we came back early that day as our road trip tiredness was piled up too.. coming back to the room and lied on the bed switching on the tv.. i put on my pajamas and my sweater.. had a habit of changing back to pajamas as soon as i come back from any place.  i was so fucking unaware of the fact that there was also a second person with me. probably my boyfriend.kept on lying there untill i fell asleep there.. half on the bed and half on the floor.  idk for how long was i asleep but i heard somebody switched off the tv. and that woke me up. "get up naina..sleep here." he held my arms, picking me up.. "how long were you here?" "emm 15 minutes maybe" "why didnt you wake me up, was i sleeping like this all along? why didnt you wake me up??" "bella i was watching you sleep.." and he laughed, looking really proud using that twilight's reference..  "duh..word of advise, never switch of tv or music after i'm asleep. because thats the reason i was asleep. when the sound's gone, believe me i'll know." i sat on the bed half hugging the pillow. he sat on the bed, extremely far from me as if he was way too nervous to sit close. "eh kv? are you a guest here? why are you sitting like its my home and you've been invited half heartily" he gave me a questioned look and i understood.  he was feeling awkward from my behalf..we were officially staying in the same room. was that the problem but why was this freaking him out? like i was so cool with it. since a year or more we've been staying in each other's houses, hanging around in each others rooms, and that too in a close way. ahem, in a comfortably close way. "hey, come here" i reached my hand for him and made a puppy face, this always kills the awkward silence between us. always a way too make him smile. and there we were lying next to each other, just a pillow between us (because i had a bad habit of hugging something and sleeping, usually a stuffed bear but i sometimes use a pillow). "are you tired too ?" i asked. "yes" he whispered. "you know i really enjoyed today. too cold but really nice." "hmm" "it doesnt snow here,too bad.. but do you like the cold here?"  i was literally darting questions at him. and all he did was stare at me. "yes" he smiled and suddenly touched my bruised cheek. "how can you manage to stay pretty even with one purple cheek." his touch was so comforting and appropriate accompanied by his contended stare.  well nothing in the day but this made me blush so hard. i couldn't jump back from the bed but instead i lowered my eyelids and i can feel the hear emitting from my cheeks and ears. i didn't say a word and closed my eyes. was he still looking at me? well why was he.. too afraid to open my eyes, i closed them for few minutes till i actually felt sleepy. i was hoping somewhere between these 5 hours, i could lose this pillow. a huge mistake to keep it between us.

[ayuforreal]

Salty with a chance of sugar.

*chapter 47 from the book I can never complete.* Woke up and found myself hugging his arm like a koala. where did the pillow go. nevermind. instead of drawing myself back and totally waking him up,  i preferred watching him.  everything was so still at this moment. when awake i'm always too nervous to look closely at him at his face and observe..  even his little perfections seem big to me..his jawline. always a thing of fascination for me. and his lashes were so damn long. why would god give beautiful lashes to guys who are not even grateful for them. if god had given me a face like that i would have traveled the whole world just to flaunt my perfections to the petty earthling.. ehh that came out a bit dark although. thatswhy you're not gifted Naina eh. i dont really know how long it has been since i've been staring at me. i didnt mean to be this creepy but whatever. he was my boyfriend. and this thought made me so happy. every fucking time.. he will always be such a novelty for me.. suddenly he flinched his fingers and i within a millisecond i closed my eyes like abort mission abort mission naina!!!! boyfriend beauty appreciation time over !! abort right now !! i pretended to sleep as soon as i felt him moving.. he slowly freed my hand from his,a silent chuckle escaped from his mouth, which i could totally feel and then he stroked my hair away from the pillow. so i wouldnt get tangled in my own hair.. wow this much presence of mind at this time of morning? when i wake up in the morning, i mess up so hard that i can brush my teeth from the face wash and vice versa. but this guy.. something was really wrong with him.  when i finally heard the soft closure of the bathroom door i decided to open my eyes and sit up. phew did he know i was faking the sleep?? i hope not.. i sat there texting on my phone so that i look busy. and the bathroom door opened and Kv entered the room, shirtless his gaze set on the ground, humming something so softly and fidgeting or folding his tee shirt with his hands. i looked up at this really funny but cute scene and suddenly watched him half jumped. "uh oh Naina" his face alarmed. "i've seen them atleast 11 times by now KV.. stop being so prude ugh" i DUH-ED him and went back to my phone. "themm??? and you scared me..i thought you were asleep." he tried changing the subject now. "emm i was talking to your abs KV .." "so 11 times?? you counted ?" "haha well i didnt count of course but i can tell all those 11 times i saw you without a shirt." "ohhhhh same as yeah i passed medical school but naah i'm not a doctor.." he smirked. "oh stop it you..you want to be sarcastic in the morning? so be it." i pouted and folded my hands. "oh i'm sorry.. so whats for breakfast?" he asked. "ehhmm why arent we hurrying up KV? arent we late? whats the plan for today?" "ehhh today we're not going anywhere special because tomorrow we're going for paragliding plus trekking so i dont want us to be tired. so today , just here and there..and also" he sat beside me, finally putting on his shirt i have no idea why so soon but eh whatever like i ca re. "and also what ???" i raised my eyebrows permitting him to complete no matter how stupid his idea would be. "what if we don't  join them today? as in we can go with them but we have anyways plans tomorrow and the next day and the next day too so .. today's a free day.." "great idea.." i blushed lowering my head, rolling a small part of the quilt.. nervous what to say next. "so..what do you want to do today?" raising his eyebrows he held the other little end of the quilt. god why does he make everything so jittery for me. "i have no idea..you suggest something." and yes i was still nervous. "eh if you want we can bunk this plan.. just go with the rest if this is not okay for you" he stuttered.. wow was i making him uncomfortable. ugh naina.. if you weren't a human you'd be influenza virus.. stay with a person and make them awkward just like yourself. "no no i didnt mean that..i just don't know where to go.. i'm fine with that..and after all Divya is really really annoying so i wouldn't mind a day off from her endless bullshitt" i finally gave him a smile.  "wow so, you hate her more than you love me? thats cool too.." how can i forget KV was originally a sarcastic bitch.. "you know thats not true.." i rolled across the bed. "which one isnt ." "both arent true." i made a face. idk when and how it happened but our fingers invented some sort of game of their own.. tangling, untangling and fidgets. who knows. it was so candid that nobody noticed.   "that so broke my heart Naina.." "bitter truth is so much better than a sweet lie, KV" "that was pathetic Naina..i thought you were funny.." "i am funnyyyyyy!!! and its just 8 in the morning. what do you expect, i can't be Alan Davis at this hour." "whose alan davis naina?" "ugh. forget it KV. no one" "should i be worried ?" "yes  you should..alan davis is a 55 year old comedian whose in love with me.." "ohh thats great..you know comedians are the people who more likely get mentally ill.." "what?? "   "unusual personality structure, which also makes them funnier "  "how the fuck are you supposed to know that KV" "idk i just know that" "so you're saying if any comedian falls in love with Naina, he isnt mentally okay?" "yes" "i hate you" still laughing i snapped my hand back from his hand "isnt this so funnny KV? we trying to be like other couples, trying to talk all cutesy but we fail so hard, we end up being weird again." " do we even try ?" he laughed too.  "we're so salty. this is our thing maybe..we can never act sweet. like those couples we see all day. " i scorned. "huh wannabes" to which we laughed really hard. "also we aint exactly salty too. we're just weird." i concluded.  "okay lets try once again." i sat close to him staring right at him trying to come up with something funny.. "okay" he said. looking at me with his serious face. "so--" before i could come up with anything funny that i was thinking since the last 4 seconds, he interrupted me. " i have a plan for today." he whispered as he came closer to me. That was pretty close if you ask me. i bet my face was looking like a watermelon right now.  "we stay here for sometime. do nothing at all.. just stay here" he completed his sentence coming somewhat more closer. i know 'more closer' isnt a word but thats where he was.  now before he could complete, i jumped. "yes! i love such kind of days. no plans no nothing. lazy sleepy days where you sleep all day.. hey hey hey lets close the curtains!! "  i cheered up for no reason..  he laughed a bit loudly and softly touched his head with mine. a really cute gesture but i couldn't figure out why. all confused i sat there like a bear and he pushed me back in the bed, spooning me like a taco..

[ayuforreal]

Just some rants..

You know I'm not exactly unhappy with myself, my appearance or my body but seeing the others around me, I really want to be like others.. sometimes I think why do I even care about the thoughts and intellect of a person when nobody else does. Cons of being a sapiosexual. All the guys care about is a "full body picture" or how hot you are.. does anybody wants to know what's inside my mind of what I might be despite being ugly ??? Guys are always after those pretty girls. They first come after looks and then they get to know that girl..I'm sure those girls are amazing but what attracted them? Beauty ? am I too stupid to want the opposite ?? Am I too ugly to want a sense of normalcy happening in my life.. I feel so self sufficient most of the times but it's times like these when I people to care.. to know who I really am.. not how I look. Yes I'm fat. Yes I don't look like those hot girls they text. In fact I'm someone who binge watches Star Wars. I'm this nerdy medical student who studies a lot.. I love to watch football,Chelsea being my favourite team. my taste in music is awesome.. I read like a maniac.. I talk about the stars and the universe.. I like playing San Andreas. Why am I only "the bro to you" If these were the things in an average hot girl you would have called her "the coolest girl" or idk why not. Why am I the weird one here ? the only guys who talk to me are my friend's boyfriends..

[ayuforreal]

Okay what side of the world is awake? Because I have only porn on my dash

[ayuforreal]

To the ppl who Reblog any posts and never like one: "HOW THE HELL CAN YOU REBLOG A POST WITHOUT LIKING IT ???" Idk just sayin

[ayuforreal]

guys please someone tell me which side of earth is blogging right now bcz i see a whole different language acquiring my dash

its cool tho! i try to understand !

[ayuforreal]

Sometimes i just think my friends talk to me bcz its all about them... I dnt see why no one wants to hear about me.. My life.. My problems.. My happiness.. Its all about them. They dnt need a friend. They just need ears. And tho i have friends, i'm alone.