#him getting into the weirdest games and slaying

[disappointingcabbage]

TMAGP 21 thoughts, spoilers below the cut

“What if Alice is right about how fucked up the OIAR is?” I mean fuck, dude, she probably is

“It’s fine I can just quit if something tries to murder me” Sam that won’t help with the whole “monster trying to kill you thing” that’ll just make you unemployed in addition to being about to die

When Celia said she had a “complicated immigration status” I fucking cackled like girlie you are never beating the universe hopper allegations

Also yeah why did the OIAR not notice that she probably has next to no legal documentation of her existence? Like I get them being more lax than other government organizations but this is a whole other level

tbh it’s probably because Lena was like “eh fuck it this isn’t even in the top 70 weirdest things I’ve seen” and let it slide

“I wouldn’t be able to take Jack with me if I went back” Does this mean she knows how to go back?????

MAGNUS INSTITUTE CHESTER STATEMENT

ooh this is some alchemy shit

POLITICAL RESOURCES? did the institute have fucking plants in the government or did they just have, like, lobbyists?

love how this guy is like “we need stop being Christian centric when choosing the date to our fucked up eldritch ritual guys”

I’m sorry, a UNIVERSAL TRANSMUTATION? as in transforming the entire earth or even the whole universe???? Dude what???

The fucked up ritual in question is called the Dome Project, which judging only by the name sounds like they’re trying to make Flat Earth real, which is fucking hilarious

ok they were allegedly trying to create a utopia but every “utopia” is flawed so the question is how did they fuck this one up?

Oh damn they were trying to create a perfect“final state of society” that never changes. Even without the eldritch bullshit that’s a terrible idea just look at like every dystopian novel ever (and also the game slay the princess, which is built around the idea that change is a necessary component of life and has Jonny Sims voicing a lot of the dialogue)

I love how this guy’s best argument against bringing the world to a stagnant state is just “but we’re alchemists, guys, change is our whole thing :/”

Was I the only one who thought “et al” was pronounced like “et all” or is it just me? Or is it a regional thing?

Wait was their plan to actually just build a big ass dome to house a “perfect society”?

Oh shit they had actually already started construction.

Of course they were exploiting workers to build this “perfect dome”

THE DOME IS REAL????? (It’s called the millennium dome, don’t just google “dome project” you’ll just find a bunch of unrelated shit about business models and stuff)

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T KNOW HOW LONG THE DOME WILL BE THERE? Isn’t that a major safety issue?

bro thinks the place is supernaturally contaminated and he’s probably right

Oh boy it’s also contaminated with heavy metals the real danger here is lead poisoning

I’m sorry what the fuck??? Construction guy got cloned by some dirt in the site and then his clone just fucking yanked him into the dirt? Clone didn’t even bother to replace him

lol statement writer just went “tldr we shouldn’t do our ritual here it’s fucked up enough as it is and incorporating a stagnant utopia into our eldritch ritual is dumb and we shouldn’t do it”

Alice has realized that Freddy is purposefully giving Sam Magnus statements

GIRLIE DID YOU JUST DELETE IT FROM HIS CASELOAD???

oooh shit she got caught by Lena

“haha Sam’s computer keeps malfunctioning so I tried to fix it and he definitely gave me permission hahaha ANYWAYS when are we getting a new IT guy?” smooth, Alice. Smooth.

Oh shit where’s Gwen? She’s late coming back? Lena doesn’t know where she is????

Ink5oul probably got her

Was that a .jmj error noise I just heard?

Oh fuck we actually get answers to the Gwen question and she is in fact running from ink5oul

Jesus this chase scene is actually scary, I’m impressed. It’s kind of hard to unsettle me this much without involving one of my actual phobias. Nice.

Also I had to google what trash polka is, turns out it’s a really cool tattoo style that’s simultaneously photorealistic and trippy, usually done in black, white, and red.

Oh shit Ink5oul can mess with tattoos they didn’t do

oh fuck they caught Gwen

Hey why is Gwen monologuing like those corpses?

[ERROR]? Where have you been, loca?

WHY IS THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES THEME PLAYING UNDER GWEN’S STATEMENT MONOLOGUE?

The transcript describes [ERROR] as “a nightmarish specter of an older world” and I’m not sure what to make of that yet but they sure are possessive of their victims, apparently. Judging by the fact that they said “there is more” I think they’re targeting either anyone with institute ties or anyone in the OIAR. Maybe both.

Love that Gwen just fucked booked it instead of sticking around to witness whatever that whole [ERROR]/ ink5oul interaction was

I’m glad that [ERROR] didn’t kill ink5oul tbh I like them

THE TAPE RECORDER FUCKING BIT THEM IM CACKLING

The Magnus Protocol sure is a podcast

[theygotlost]

come play venture bros postcanon tuoys with me? :)

hank isnt interested in higher education or a full time career and he literally wrote down his dream job as "drifter". I see him taking up a lot of odd jobs and sporadic minimum wage stuff but really i believe he was meant for the stage. shallow gravy never makes it big time but they get like the weirdest most random gigs ever and eventually they release a full album and everyone fucking hates it and hank gets called a nepo baby. which is true. but going beyond the music hank is always dressing up and playing characters and ofc there was the time he called himself destiny and refused to take off the strength suit you see where im going with this YEP Destiny is his drag name. and im imagining destiny playing shallow gravy gigs so she'd have a kinda gothy alternative amy lee aesthetic going on and she would slay.

in case you havent noticed I hateee that dermott joined OSI it just feels forced and his buzzcut is ugly. dont worry though I can fix this. the thing about dermott is that he talks a big game but in reality is a pathetic loser. it's like that episode of malcolm in the middle where reese joins the army but crumbles as soon as he's faced with combat training. dermott either drops out or gets kicked out for doing something stupid but either way they probably have to wipe his memory and its like it never happened. outside of shallow gravy i see him doing random blue collar stuff and like... riding dirtbikes and shit. also he was probably lying about having a pilots license but idk maybe he does have one. i think he should have one

dean says he doesnt know what he wants to do with his future so his major at stuyvesant is probably still undeclared rn... but remember that for a while his dream job was "boy reporter" and he even printed that adorable little home newspaper so that points to a career in journalism. in the second half of the show dean's vibe is "im probably transgender but there are supervillains trying to kill me so i don't have time to worry about that right now" and being able to have a (relatively) normal college experience away from home around people her own age would be the final push she needs to start transitioning. also i have this vivid image in my mind of dawn becoming a photographer and i have no idea where it came from but that would fit well with the reporter stuff and she could be a photojournalist! but I also see her being interested in fashion photography and doing all of destiny's glamour shots and stuff so that's her hobby that does outside of work .and she NEEEDS to be an obnoxious twee amateur photographer living in NYC she deserves it she's earned it !!!!!

triana's probably an accomplished sorceress by now!! goddd i miss triana i just want her back. idk if she would move to new york permanently but she would come visit her dad and get to hang out with dawn again. and she's realized shes a lebian and they get back together PLEASEE? :3 im not really sure what she would do with her sorcery powers but I guess she could be a low level superhero? she wouldn't be interested in anything crazy like saving the world but she would have fun busting up low level bank robbers and classic stuff like that and she and jared could hang out. or perhaps she's available for hire and will do magic stuff for whoever

[ghostradiodylan]

I'm on a four hour car drive, singing at the top of my lungs (terribly, I'm so congested right now, not gonna stop me though lol), and having quarry brainrot. Who among the counselors do you think can sing well and who do you think can play an instrument?

I looove this question and I have to admit I haven’t thought about it that much so this is gonna be kind of off the cuff, instinctive stuff and I’m sure I’ll refine my opinions if others chime in (please!).

It’s kind of weird we never get any campfire singalong action in the game when there’s a guitar in Chris’s bedroom and he mentions Kumbaya, but maybe they’re tired of that from camp by the time the plot line picks up.

Miles obviously is a musician and Dylan’s the music guy so I’d imagine he’s musically inclined in some way. I’ve seen headcanons that he plays guitar and I could see that but I lean more toward thinking he would have taken piano lessons when he was younger and moved on to keyboard and adding on techie stuff like the Mellotron and Moog synth. I think he loves dials and buttons and weird sounds and he can sing but he’d rather fuck around in the noise. Any instrument he plays is gonna get a bit sad if he loses his hand but maybe he’d get more into sampling and remixing and looping computer generated beats as a result.

I think it would be funny if Jacob had a surprisingly angelic singing voice that was completely uncoached and no one ever expected out of him, sort of like Finn from Glee (RIP) but less auto-tuned. I think he’d be an acoustic guitar guy for sure just for the romance of it. Anyway, here’s “Wonderwall.”

Actual footage of Jacob serenading Emma, feat Abi.

Kaitlyn does not strike me as particularly musical though I headcanon that she and Jacob slay karaoke together. She just kind of shouts into the mic like a 90s riot grrl and sings Alanis or Joan Jett and kills.

Abi is so high school marching band nerd coded to me and I feel like she’s a total flute/piccolo girlie or else clarinet/oboe. Or maybe she plays violin in the school orchestra. Something sweet. She’s good but too nervous to perform or audition in front of people very much so it’s just a hobby she shares with people she trusts.

Emma I think would have a perfectly nice mid range singing voice that she’d wish was better. She probably started her influencer career recording Taylor Swift covers for YouTube but she’s a much better actress and dancer than she is a singer. Not quite triple threat material but she believes in herself so she’s trying.

Ryan has such a unique voice that I can’t decide if he definitely can sing or if he’s practically tone deaf. I kind of lean toward the latter. I imagine he hates his singing voice and rarely sings even for fun but if Dylan catches him singing or humming he’s like smitten times one million about it. I could see Ryan playing drums though, I’d imagine he has a good sense of rhythm.

Max, on the other hand, cannot carry a tune but sings ALL THE TIME anyway. And Laura cringes but finds it endearing all the same. He probably plays the ukulele. He just seems like the type.

Laura was a choir kid for sure and probably got solos in school plays and Max was accompanying her on ukulele and playing unnamed roles or else he was painting backdrops or something. We know Siobahn can sing and I feel like that would carry through with Laura for sure. I imagine them doing elaborate musical routines together on car rides even with their vastly different musical abilities.

Nick reminds me of a bassist I know who is maybe the weirdest human being alive. So that’s where I see him. He can sing a little but it’s definitely a backing vocals voice. I feel like he’d be in a stoner jam band just fucking around, playing the same song for an hour while both the band and audience are too high to know the difference.

Chris Hackett obviously plays guitar and Travis accompanies him on harmonica. Bobby plays blowing air over the lip of a jug and also cowbell.

I LOVE THIS ASK EVERYONE TELL ME THOUGHTS!

[broken-clover]

Who in the GG/BB universe do you think play Minecraft?

I hate that I put so much thought into this but it's the weirdest questions that make my brain tism the hardest.

I think it helps to divide them up into subgroups. A lot of them play, but not all of them play the same! Minecraft is a very open game, after all.

Silly Players:

-The Jellyfish have their own group server, For the most part they just have fun building things, exploring and making fun little houses. Nobody get into any scuffles unless someone accidentally punches one of April's 27 tamed wolves

-Sin plays a hint more seriously, just enough to go nuts exploring and trying to find all the cool stuff he can. He likes giving all of his enchanted armor and weapons cool names. He still doesn't know how to deal with creepers outside of screaming and trying to stab it as fast as possible.

-Ramlethal, obviously, has tamed an obscene number of wolves and just wanders from place to place with them. She doesn't even have a sword because as soon as she bonks a mob with a stick the dogs swarm it and kill it for her.

-Dizzy doesn't really know what she's doing but she has a nice little garden and collects all the different kinds of flowers

-Taokaka has done the same, but with cats. She makes little dirt houses to spend the night in and then immediately forgets where she put her bed. She's trying to actually play but keeps getting distracted

-Makoto is on a quest to have a dyed sheep of every color. If you ask why she doesn't have an answer, but she's very passionate about it

-Noel is so scared of the game but she's being very brave about it. She built her house in a bamboo grove so she lives nearby the pandas. Tsubaki goes to the nether to get stems and glowstone for her because she's too scared to go herself.

-Arakune has made himself a house of wool, concrete and terracotta. Everything is dyed azure. He is living the dream.

-Nagoriyuki is currently level 233. He does nothing but fish and farm potatoes. Once he fished up a sword with five different enchantments on it, but he never uses it

Serious Players

-As far as Answer is concerned, Minecraft is not a game. It is a tool for beta-ing ECK settlements in excruciating detail. Chipp tried introducing it to him as a fun game to play during downtime but it did not work.

-Bedman constructs world landmarks in precise one-to-one scale. It's kind of amazing to just let him go at it, he'll work for hours straight and spend weeks to make a perfectly detailed facsimile of the Roman coliseum.

-Tager, when not accidentally breaking keyboards, is making giant detailed boats. He currently has them organized by size, country of origin, and year of original construction.

-Kokonoe got really into Minecraft for about two and a half weeks, after building a bunch of automated systems to produce and sort more resources than anyone would ever need she immediately got bored and quit.

-Carl builds incredibly elaborate contraptions that are impressive but tend to explode

-Axl heads off into a mineshaft and gets lost for a week. He's having a great time, except for the part where the Warden showed up and threw him into a wall. He likes the music players

-Faust digs perfectly chunk-sized holes in patterns then proceeds to make floating cubes out of the cobblestone and miscellaneous rocks. Apparently he finds it calming, though he tries to limit his screentime to avoid eyestrain.

-Kagura has convinced himself that slaying the Enderdragon is something girls will find cool. He doesn't actually know how to get to the End. He does have a very cool set of enchanted armor and a fancy house (mostly built by Hibiki)

[i-loves-2dguys]

Obey Me OC Headcanons (Part 1)

Author’s Note: So to start my Obey Me fanfics, I’m gonna write out this headcanon in order to describe how well I would get along with each character. I’m not including Thirteen, Mephistopheles or Raphael cuz idk em that well-

But also the fanfics will be “x Reader” cuz I want y’all to feel included <3 (sorry if the personality doesn’t match tho)

Two parts cuz it’s so long-

Part 2

____________________________________

Lucifer

At first, it was hard to communicate with him due to his coldness

But after a bit, we start talking more by discussing about the brothers

We get along for the most part, except for when I get involved in pranks and mishaps with the brothers

As someone who tends to get good grades, I feel like I would avoid so many lectures from him 😎

Only lectures I would get is getting proper sleep and eating properly

Visits him from time to time while he works to make sure he’s taking care of himself too (no hypocrisy will be allowed)

Helps discipline the brothers in a more peaceful way

Will try to convince him to do the same

Oldest sibling 🤝

Gives him motivational messages so that he can have a nice day

Moon 🌙 x Moon 🌙

Mammon

Instantly connect due to his fun personality

Cuz he’s Mammon ofc

Actually lets him have Grimm but on the condition that he spends it properly and gives a lil kiss

We hang out a lot for studying, shopping, eating at a restaurant, etc

Flirts with him and compliments him just to see him blush 🤭

A little surprised that he has a crush on me, but it’s so obvious too

Defends him from his brothers and comforts him with affirmations afterwards 🙏

Loves to see his hands and feel them (I love his jewelry covered hands so much)

Collects every magazine with a photo of him

Simps as much as he simps (simp synchronization)

Goes to the casino with him just to make sure his debt doesn’t increase that much

I would let him be my first fr

Best friends to lovers 🫶

Levi

GAMER PALS

You’re weird? IM WEIRD TOO :D

He’s a lil emo at first but I just gotta act my weirdest and bam! Status is now fellow weirdo

Shares memes and references

Gaming nights are very often cuz yes 👍

Spends a lot of time with him cuz 1: I’m an introvert and 2: he’s so lonely 🥺

Cleans his room sometimes just to help his mental health

Helps him find any rare items

Cosplay together :D

Pays at least half of what Mammon owes him

Compliments him at least once a day to help heal his insecurities 🫶

Kisses his cheek often to show my love for him

Weirdo couple ✨ (but in a not cringe way)

Satan

YOUR BEAUTY NEVER EVER SCARED ME

I see his sin as a part of him and not ALL of him

He has much more to offer and I wanna remind him that 😔

Plus I have anger issues too-

Yk I always wanted to read books but I didn’t know which ones to read

I would probably ask Satan to recommend some as a way to get closer to him 🤭

Helps him find cats and gets them close enough to pet them

They might start a lil book club where they discuss the same book they’re reading or decide which one is better

Cleans his hoard of books from time to time and leaves a lil map to help him find em easily

Hopeless romantics 🤝

Cat cafe dates :)

We write each other poems >:)

Poetic rizz duo 😎

Asmo

Besties!

It was instant connection due to love for fashion and slaying 💅

I want some makeup advice cuz I’m still a noob at it

Would def also ask for a skin care routine

Paint my nails too? 🥺

Shopping :D (cuz why not? we’re rich)

I mostly see him platonically, but he can kiss me :)

We have fashion shows so we can see what outfits we would slay in ✨

Would go clubbing with him if I felt really sociable

Is involved in his fan club

Two pretty best friends 🫶

Beel

My himbo <3

I love to eat as much as he eats 🤝

And he wouldn’t make me feel bad about it :)

I think our constant running into the kitchen would make us pals

I can’t cook much but I definitely can bake a lot

A bunch of restaurant dates

We could make mukbang videos fr 🤭

Helps him work out

Works out with him too sometimes

Have snacks in my bag just for him 🙏

Gentle giant x their protector

Belphie

I trusted you smh 😒

I personally headcanon a fight with him after I come back to life

But then we’re good :)

He’s a demon so what can you do?

Also very adorable 😊

I would happily nap with him since I’m tired 24/7 😴

As a touch starved person, I would appreciate the cuddles

Enemies to friends to lovers? 🧐

—————————————————————————

Note: I ran out of ideas towards the end but yk this is an introduction after all! I don’t know how many people will read this but thank you if you <3 I’ll be back again when I finish making an official fanfic so until then cya!

[mihrsuri]

Numair, Ozorne & Thayet for the ask game!

My NOTP for them: Ozorne circa Immortals Era. Step away from that man Emperor Mage, I don’t care if you are still in love with him. On the other hand there is so much love there - it’s not healthy love (it’s possessive, abusive and ultimately destroys Ozorne but it’s still there)

My BROTP for them: Numair and Kel have such lovely interactions - though not very many of them but it’s so sweet. And Numair and Onua best friendship.

My OTP for them: I love Numair/Daine and I’m also like UGH about it which is a weird place to be but there we go (I think newer editions have aged Daine up and Numair down which does make a difference). Also Ozorne/Numair/Varice in an AU where Ozorne and Varice ran with him.

My second choice pairing for them: Listen the Numair-Thayet-Jon (and Alanna and George) OT4 is so so great (I’d add in a few more people here as well honestly. Like the addition of Raoul-Buri-Gary-Cynthia say)

My fluffy pairing for them: Numair/Daine and also like, definitely Numair/Jon/Thayet/Alanna/George honestly. Plus also Varice/Ozorne/Numair in the time before Ozorne goes full possessive dick on everyone.

My angsty pairing for them: Ozorne/Numair/Varice. AAAGH THE TRAGEDY IT SLAYS ME (I am rereading Tempests and Slaughter and like they love each other so much and it could have turned out differently and AAAAGH).

My favorite poly ship for them: The found family OT4.

My weirdest pairing for them: Maybe the OT4. To me this makes sense, but also this is me. The other thought is that, listen Roger of Conte travelling to Carthak and getting creepily into a young Arram (which he does not know about because Roger gets distracted by his and Chioké hate fucking but also he doesn’t get distracted because he’s thinking about Arram the entire time :shudders:)

My intrigued-by pairing for them: If I ever did a crossover type thing I absolutely believe in my soul that one of the Doctors and Numair would have a thing.

Ozorne

• My NOTP for them: Ozorne/Becoming Emperor. Should not have happened. Someone please rescue the vet student who wants to vibe with birds from this entire thing.

• My BROTP for them: Listen if Prince Stiloit had had more scope/time/hadn’t been murdered by Fucking Chioké I really think it might have made a difference

• My OTP for them: It is actually Ozorne/Numair/Varice in a world where things turn out differently. I think they were good for him (which I’m sure Numair struggled with the idea that he couldn’t save people from Ozorne or Ozorne from himself but they/he did make a difference. It just…got too much).

• My second choice pairing for them: Ozorne/Someone Get This Child An Adult Who Can And Will Help Them Please. (Also my OTP)

• My fluffy pairing for them: Ozorne/Numair/Varice, spymaster ozorne verse. They are so so so happy.

• My angsty pairing for them: Ozorne/Numair/Varice, canon edition.

• My favorite poly ship for them: Ozarrice

• My weirdest pairing for them: Somewhere in my head, there’s a world where Thayet and her two oldest children were bought to Carthak with Numair and unfortunately Numair/Thayet/Ozorne happened.

My intrigued-by pairing for them: There was something going on with Ozorne/Chioké and it’s Nothing Good. Or alternately Ozorne/Tristan which was also Nothing Good (Tristan is always aware that he’s never going to be loved/will always be a very distant second to Arram and Varice and it’s not helping anything)

Thayet

• My NOTP for them: I’m not sure that I have one (though now that I thought about it - Roger/Jon/Thayet UGH).

• My BROTP for them: Alanna and Thayet’s friendship helped save my life I am not even kidding.

• My OTP for them: Jon/Thayet my beloved beloved OTP. I truly believe they love each other so much - enough to carry on after either of them dies. Enough to work through things. I think they are soulmates and all of that.

• My second choice pairing for them: I actually kind of don’t have one. Maybe the poly ship below.

• My fluffy pairing for them: Jon/Thayet

• My angsty pairing for them: I really don’t think I have one.

• My favorite poly ship for them: Numair/Thayet/Jon/Alanna/George/Daine

• My weirdest pairing for them: The poly ship. Or okay, this isn’t exactly a ship but there’s the Ozorne/Numair/Thayet AU.

My intrigued-by pairing for them: Listen the Thayet/Varice/Ozorne/Numair/Jon in a spymaster ozorne AU.

[astranne]

okay but-

streamer!jason todd. it‘s one of my things in my massive brainrot post that’s rotting in my drafts. lmao, rot everywhere xD

anyhwore-

streamer!jason just becoming a streamer to spite bruce like always

first, people don’t realize, he‘s jason todd, since he calls himself jay but then someone points it out, when jason already has a solid fanbase because yes ofc he has and society goes wild

he always causes twitter wars and twitter to break down. once it was cuz he started 'fighting' with corpse husband (who has the sexier whaddup baby), another time he absolutely slayed in valorant (because yes, ofc he does) and then there was also the time, where he accidentally took of his hoodie and shirt and didn’t realize it (he did, that fucker absolutely knew what he was doing)

and so many more- gimme more ideas i wanna scream abt them thank you very much in advance <3

[factorialsfandoms]

I have so many projects this isn’t getting written (by me, anyway), but... You know how in Breath of the Wild all the previous games are legends and folklore and stuff, and nobody’s sure which ones are real? And also all the dead Leviathans?

And how legends get warped and become even more messy, right?

So... Link’s Awakening.

Its already messy and horrible, but consider: a legend in which the story occurs, but in the story it is an actual island which is drowned (or flooded killing everyone but later remerges, or whatever) by the Wind Fish upon its awakening - accidental or otherwise. But of course the Hero of Legend does not stand for this reckless death, and in horror and revenge slays the Wind Fish. And this is why the Leviathans are extinct.

The details of what actually happened in Link’s Awakening are of course a mess. The Wind Fish in that version is probably shown worst sides first - kidnapping Link and all - and absolutely it’d be all over the place. Marin might become Zelda for no sensible reason except being a lady associated with Link, and so on, and so forth.

But, enough details remain that if you know one story, you can recognise it in the other...

And thus bringing it around to Linked Universe by Jojo, where half of my brain currently resides, and the fic idea itself - a late night at the campfire, all the chain are chilling, telling folk stories from their worlds and similar things. Wild doesn’t know a whole lot of stories, with the amnesia and all. The only ones he knows are those about the exploits of the Links across time, simply because Impa or whomever was trying to teach him about his legacy, duty, and inheritance after he was resurrected.

But of course these are all previous Links, and Wild doesn’t want to make anything too uncomfortable. He starts off trying to refuse to join in, but gets pressured into it by social anxiety and Wind . So, he picks the weirdest least plausible of the ones he’s heard, one he’s absolutely certain was completely made up to be a parable and explain facts of the world, and swaps some names around.

Which is of course, the story of why and how Link destroyed the Leviathans. Starting with how he’s pretty sure this one is entirely made up, and with reference to the fact such creatures are extinct, and demonstrating with his photos of the three leviathan skeletons.

Legend is, of course, not going to take it well. But at the same time, he can’t actually stop him. Not without revealing what’s going on.

Your Link/s of choice can notice Legend’s discomfort, depending on flavour, the rest all tied up in the story or their own business. I’d probably go with someone who’d only try to catch him later rather than cause a fuss during the storytelling, if only because I’d want him to hear the ending.

Anyway end thought.

[shiny-parsnips]

In a fit of rage I have decided I am going to do the unthinkable: my hot takes on all the Animal Crossing NPCs I’ve met. Buckle up cause I have some shit to say 🤞

Blanca

OKAY SO I met Blanca in New Leaf where did she go btw havent heard from her in like ten billion years but ANYWAY she was kind of a weirdo bozo kinda person (🤨) like how do you like........ JUST CHANGE THE WAY YOUR ENTIRE BODY LOOKS JUST TO PULL A PRANK OM SOME VILLAGER YOU WOMT SEE UNTIL LIKE NEXT YEAR TO DO THE SAME SHIT AGAIN......? That’s really silly and I only found out recently you cna just use the wiki as a cheat sheet to get the photos of your villagers so Blanca 11 me 3 or something idk but DID YOU KNOW YOU COUKD DRAW FACES ON HER I didn’t know you could do that you probably couldn’t in New Leaf but in the older games I‘m sure you could AND PEOPLE WOULD DRAW THE WEIRDEST SHIT ehhe LIKE

Too silly anyway

Blathers

BLATHERS IS MY MAAAAAAAN I LOVE HIM!!!!!! (Not romantically, bozo) HES LIKE........ when I grow up I wanna be a fuckin.... owl with an argyle pattern on his stomach and a bow tie and sleep all day and be up all night... IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK? Like I’m asking nicely!!! Hello!! Anyway IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK TO BE A MUSEUM CURATOR AND TELL THE PLAYER ABOUT FUCKIN... BUGS AND FISH AND FOSSILS AND STUFF... that‘s my dream job like I’ll be like “OMG A.... A SPOTTED GARDEN EEL? Eheh... I know some things about it it’s whatever.... do yo wanna hear about it?? YES?? OMFG......... where do I begin” LITERALLY ME!!!!!! That’s actually me I am an owl it’s real IM REAL!!!! Loved him in New Leaf still love him in New Horizons AND CONGRATS ON SEEING YOUR BOYFRIEND FIREND BREWSTER AGAIN!!!!

This post is getting kinda long might have to separate it into like a billiom postss perhaps

CJ

Wow.... okay.... you really walked on my island and was like “Ayo!!!! You wanna catch some fish so I can fucking take pictures of them #influencer #twitchstreamer?? Youll win....... my appreciation AND IF YOU REALLY WANT a replica of a fish!!!” And I was like okay slay........ yasss

I LOVE MY GAY LITTLE MAN he is so gay. You literally cannot tell me otherwise. DO WE ALL AGREE HE IS GAY FOR FLICK? I DO I ABSOLUTELY AGREE... that statue I have of the two of them smiling and being happy with each other proudly stands in the front of my Pocket Camp campsite. If this does not prove anything, then idk what does. You’re done.

IM GONNA LIKE..... split this into different posts so this isn’t a mile long cause I have A LOT of experiences with the Animal Crossing franchise so expect a lot and if you wanna hear about anything else about animal crossing or my opinions on animal crossing feel free to ask or something whatever you want 🤞

[mochatroping]

your notp, brotp, etc. hc's for ignis? 😺

YOU WILL REGRET ASKING THIS, I THINK. This became more of a rank-your-fave-ships thing than a true pair thing, lol. I tend to be character-centric about my fandoms.

NOTP:

Likely just reader inserts ‘cause I don’t really read those, but also probably Iris & Ignis (see next entry). 

BROTP:

Iris & Ignis leads the pack, but honestly love it when fics feature Ignis having meaningful and supportive female friendships. Some pre-roadtrip fics feature Crowe being a supportive older sister type for him, and I really dig that. One of my favorite fics in the fandom is Aranea giving Ignis his WoR lesbian biker haircut, and it is *chef’s kiss*. 

OTP:

I CAN’T CHOOSE AMONG 3. It’s a tie among Gladio/Ignis, Ardyn/Ignis, and Ravus/Ignis for me. I love the differences in dynamics these three ships bring, they’re just so far apart from each other and it’s very interesting to me. 

I will say that fresh out of the game, I was heavily into Gladio/Ignis, it just widened over time as I thought about other characters more and read more fics. Gladio was already so soft and mindful around Ignis pre-Altissia, but him post-Altissia hit me HARD. I keep going back to that, how heartbreakingly solicitous he was, and how lost he looked after he brought Ignis back from the altar, and on and on. Augh.

Ardyn/Ignis is a rareship that’s captured my attention like a bullet train that went off the rails (and really rare—fewer AO3 works under it than Fleurentia, which is already pretty rare [but still more than Nyx/Ignis] ). Ardyn’s my second favorite character in the game (it doesn’t show in my fanwork, I need to fix that at one point)—he just breaks my heart, and if I wasn’t so busy stanning Ignis, I’d be stanning this dude hard. While Ardyn/Ignis sates my need for dark fics in general, there’s quite a bit of variation and creativity in the existing fanwork for it that I wouldn’t automatically categorize it as such (my favorite comedy fic is from this ship, even). I also love how the flavor changes depending on whether the author seems to go for Ardyn “resisting” or “submitting” to his fate. It just gives me a lot to think about, and there’s quite a lot of room for play. Reading Ardnis fics that seem to have been written pre-Ardyn DLC (or ignoring it) has also been interesting.

Fleurentia brings all the fucking regency romance tropes and baggage and I ADORE it. I heavily HC Ravus as ND, and the circumstances surrounding him and his family just lend to so much heartbreak and drama. I normally couldn’t care less about canon compliance, which works really well when thinking about this ship. Ravus also reminds me quite a bit of the Darcy-archetype, which I have a bit of a weak spot for.   

Second choice pairing:

IT’S ANOTHER TIE, AREN’T YOU TIRED BY NOW. Nyx/Ignis, Cor/Ignis. Two ships that I never thought I’d ever be into, but a number of very lovely fics changed my mind. 

Nyx/Ignis is like the opposite of Fleurentia for me, with all the anti-monarchy working-class baggage it comes with, which honestly echoes more of my shriveled heart than any of the other mentioned ships here. The amount of political projection I lend to this ship, lol. TOO MUCH. 

Cor/Ignis I blame entirely on very specific authors. I honestly didn’t look twice at Cor throughout the game, but reading fics on this ship has changed my mind about Cor so much. (AND NOW WE HAVE COTTAGECOR, HOW AWESOME IS THAT).

I’m gonna put Noctis/Ignis and Prompto/Ignis here too, because while they’re not my preferred ships, I do read them on occasion. I just tend to be particular about what sort of dynamic they have.

Fluffy pairing:

Prompto/Ignis, hands-down. Fluffiest of fluffs. If I ever need a fluffy pick-me-up, I look up fics for these two from certain authors, they’re diabetes all over.

Gladio/Ignis is a close runner-up, because these two just slotting into each other’s lives so well makes me emotional. Gladio providing the open appreciation Ignis rarely gets in his normal life just slays me.

Angsty pairing:

Ardyn/Ignis, for obvious reasons. Some Gladnis angst also hits the spot for me, especially during WoR.

Favorite poly ship:

OT4′s an obvious answer, but again, tends to not be my favorite ship in general though I do like some of its fics. Cor/Ignis/Gladio post-WoR is something I like to think of from time to time as well.

Weirdest pairing:

I can’t think of one, except maybe Ignis having a bit of an older-man-crush-thing which feels very on brand to me, for some reason. 

[devintrinidad]

2001 being the one who not only teases 1146 about 3803, but can do it while cuddling up to her right in front of him with so much smug satisfaction slays me. I like the idea 2001 is the only one who can get away w/annoying 1146 like that. He makes such Boss moves not even 1146 and 3803 can fight him. Maybe because he’s so serious and dignified looking and comes off as this authority ‘don’t fight me on this’ that his squad just puts him on a whole other 'that’s the 2001 standard’ of cool grandpa authority you just don’t make fun of or talk back to despite still seeing him as your equal.

He can probably just pull 3803 into his lap all the while drinking his special high quality drink while he massacres all these other cells in a card game w/o any protest. Some uncouth cells were probably trying to snuggle with her since she was talking a lot longer to recover from the alcohol the body consumed. 2001, not wanting to take his eyes off the other players because he knew those rats were cheating, just grabbed her by the waist and pulled her in close and gulped his entire drink down in one go and slammed the cup on the table. It was such a boss move he scared two players into admitting they were cheating and abandon the game. The cells trying to take advantage of her wisely chose to get lost.

Without even batting an eye or changing his blank, yet intense, laidback face. 2001 just leans back, comfortable in his cushioned seat at the round table. One hand expertly holding all his cards. The other arm seemingly lazily wrapped around 3803. Poor RBC is just glassy eyed and hiccuping, but otherwise looks pretty comfortable and safe with the much larger WBC keeping her all to himself. If any of the players stares at her too long (more out of surprise and a little envy this sourpuss stick in the mud WBC has this pretty girl sitting on his lap like he’s a king) 2001 will, somehow with just one hand, flick a card right at their face. Usually followed by a dry comment about how easy it is to slip up and make accidents happen (then he shows a winning hand). 

By the end if the game 3803 gives a weak cheer for 2001 as he beats everyone without a sweat. She then falls into a slumber while holding his hand. That Kupplfer cell I hc being his card game buddy walks over cleans up the table and offers him a back room. He takes it and settle a down with 3803 because she won’t let him go. He lets her sleep on him like he’s her bed while he crosses his arms behind his head and stares at the ceiling in silence (and thinking over new tactics for beating that Kuppfler in their next game). 

He can’t help but contact 1146 and describe his position with 3803. He hides his amusement behind his typical monotone no nonsense tone. 1146 shows up earlier then he expected, a little grumpy but otherwise not mad. He does try to pull her off him but it just makes 3803 snuggled deeper and cling harder to 2001 (I kind of see her as a sleepy drunk) so 1146 settles for sitting down (and ignoring his possessive feelings while a amused 2001 talks about how comfortable he is and he hopes 1146 can try this position someday)  until a bit later when 3803 wakes up and lets go. 

She thanks 2001 for protecting her and leaves to pick up her next delivery. 1146 asks 2001 how is it she keeps getting into the weirdest situations with his squad like this all of a sudden. 2001 simply tells him to pick up the slack and step it up. 1146 is like 'don’t tell me that…. Okay I will’. -_-; 

He’s just grateful it’s 2001 and not any of the others. They’d tease him even more brutally. 

He’s also grateful 2001 isn’t interested in going after her because 1146 isn’t confident enough he can steal a girl away from 2001 (when 2001 heard this, he laughed so hard he almost couldn’t respond to the ping from their receptors). 

2001 is the type who rarely cuddles up to 3803, but When he does he can get away with a lot because…. He’s 2001 and non threatening or invasive like that. =\

~~~

*'that’s the 2001 standard’ of cool grandpa authority you just don’t make fun of or talk back to*

YOU. I LIKE YOU. KEEP TALKING ABOUT THE PRAISES OF 2001 AND I MIGHT JUST EXPLODE FROM PURE HAPPINESS.

OH MY GOSH.

THIS ENTIRE ANALYSIS AND WHAT COULD BE A GREAT MINI FIC IS GOLD

HEAR THAT??

PURE GOLD!

AS A U-2001 FAN, I LOVE IT SO MUCH. JUST... THOSE IMAGES OF BEING SUCH A BOSS AND KEEPING 3803 SAFE IS SO COOL AND AWESOME AND HEARTWARMING AND OTHER POSITIVE THINGS THAT I CAN’T THINK OF RIGHT NOW, BUT I HOPE YOU GET THE POINT.

[hoes-simpin-imagines]

Hii, can I get a male matchup for bnha and kny?? I'm a straight female, European, 5'2, black eyes and curly hair till my waist, somewhat freckled. In regards to my zodiac, I'm a Libra, bit shy and don't speak much, although I'm really talkative with my best friends:) I love baking, crafts, and gaming, if I'm in the mood. I'd love a caring s/o, who likes to initiate cuddles and all that (because I'd probably be too shy to ask lol) Thanks in advance!!!

Howdee!! Thanks for the matchup RQ love 💞

For Boku No Hero Academia, your matchup is...

【Mirio Togata / Lemillion】

Honestly, Mirio could go on for hours on just how much he adores and appreciates you. He was surprised at how talkative you were when you began to open up, but he doesn't mind one bit. Your initial shyness didnt bother him either, and he'd definitely be there to help you open up around others. You two always have meaningful and sometimes silly conversations, and he'd always initiate the cuddles knowing you're too shy to ask. Aside from how adorable and lovable he finds you, the thing he treasures most about you is your smile. In his opinion, your smile is brighter than the sun and he'd go through great lengths to see that your happiness and safety is protected!

✧headcanons✦

• You help him take care of Eri sometimes. Eri really likes you, and she honestly sees you as an older sister figure. Her expression always seems to light up when Mirio decides to bring you along for their usual adventures. Crafting is a common activity you three like to do when you're together. Most of the time, your crafts turn out the best, and you usually have to help them both when it comes to the tricky parts. But hey, it's the fun that counts and you three always have a great time together!

• When both of you cuddle, he likes to pull you in by your waist and let you rest on his chest. It makes him feel strong, like hes protecting you. Cuddling is a safe place for you, and his arms are big and strong---great for cuddling! He also likes to spoon you sometimes too. Hes usually the big spoon, but he finds it really cute when you try to be the big spoon

• Mirio likes baking with you as well! When you two bake, you always try to make extras so he can share them with his friends and family. He believes your baking skills are a gift, and a gift that should be shared with everyone! Since you're good in the kitchen, he's also requested that you made homemade ramen for him on multiple occasions

• Besides your smile, he loves your hair. It's just so long and curly! Hes not too experienced in these kinds of things, but he likes to comb through and sometimes attempt to style it! Hes very gentle and cautious with your hair when he goes about touching it. Besides styling your hair, he likes to run his hands through it while you two are cuddling.

•He likes playing video games and watching you play video games! He usually likes playing fighting games with you. He was a bit confused when you once pointed out he looked like Lucas when you both decided to play Super Smash Bros Ultimate one evening. Because of this, he always ends up picking Lucas.

For Kimetsu No Yaiba, your matchup is...

【Tanjiro Kamado】

What initially drew Tanjiro in was your compassion and your kindness. In the Demon Slayer Corps, its quite rare to come across someone whose so openly compassionate! Due to how shy you seem initially, he was always very protective over you and didnt like it when others overstepped your boundaries. As you began to open up about your interests and revealed your more talkative nature, Tanjiro only found himself more entranced by you. You could go on for hours about the weirdest subjects and Tanjiro would love to hear every word you say! Hes a perfect gentleman (take notes zenitsu 😰), and will always ask for consent regarding anything and everything. You will always feel loved by Tanjiro, due to how gentle and caring he is with you!

✧headcanons✦

• You and Nezuko get along very well. Nezuko loves it when you teach her how to craft things, but she prefers to craft smaller objects. Whatever you craft together, she likes to keep in her box with her as a symbol of safety and reassurance. Tanjiro appreciates how nicely you treat Nezuko as well, despite the fact that shes a demon.

• Tanjiro loves whatever you bake, even if it's bad! If you happen to royally screw up on a recipe, he'll still eat it regardless what a man! Hes usually busy due to his work in the Demon Slaying Corps, but he loves to bake with you when you have the time. He's mainly experienced in breadbaking specifically, but he doesnt mind stepping out of his comfort zone if it means learning from you.

•Tanjiro definitely loves cuddling. Hes always going to be the one to initate cuddling sessions. He's down for any position, but he likes to pull you close into his chest and rest his head on top of yours. It makes him feel at peace. Due to his work as a Demon Slayer, hes bound to lose a lot of close friends on the battlefield. During times like this, being able to hold you in his arms gives him reassurance.

•He likes it when you wear his haori in private. He loves how the oversized garment loosely fits around your body. He doesn't mind how long you wear it, as long as he can get it back before he inevitably returns to work. Also, he's totally the type of guy that would give you his jacket/haori if you're on a walk and you get cold. Like I mentioned before, he's a perfect and well mannered gentleman!

~Mod Onion 👻

[draconida]

Shance Fic Recs

Well, while I was in my AO3 profile, I realized how many bookmarks I have! So I've decided to make fic recommendation lists.   [This list will have other parts, and I include fics with Kuro and Sven]

1- Black to Blue by PuppetMaster55

Lance, the undisputed (no longer, since he finally got the team to stop questioning his position like a month ago) leader of Voltron finds himself in the absolute strangest scenario: being the Blue Paladin.

Lance, still finding his place on team Voltron, wakes up to the weirdest world: one where he's the Black Paladin.

OR, I take a universe where Lance was always the Black Paladin and have him swap bodies with canon Lance, throwing both sets of teams for a trip.

[This fic is the beginning of a series in process, super recommended]

2- Black & Blue by starboyshiro (this author writes a lot of love to Shiro)

“Something wrong, babe? Did you have a bad day or something?” Shiro asks, plopping down on the couch next to Lance.

“Nothing happened, I'm just looking at all of these cute cats thinking about how much I want one, but can't have one.” Lance frowns, resting his head on Shiro's shoulder as he continues to scroll through Instagram.

Shiro can't stand to see his boyfriend upset. That's been a proven fact since Day One of their relationship. It's only natural that when Lance mentions his disappointment at never owning a cat, Shiro goes above and beyond to cheer him up…

3- I Fold by starboyshiro [Explicit]

“Do you even know who I am?”

“Am I supposed to?”

“Most people around here do.”

An intense poker game turns into a rather steamy night. Can this scrawny grad student handle the force of the famous journalist Takashi Shirogane?

4- Is That A Bowl Of Popcorn In Your Lap Or Are You Just Happy To See Me? by munchiesafterdark [Explicit]

“How many bags should I do?” Shiro called, waving the four unopened packs in his hand at Lance questioningly.

“I think two should be fine,” Lance shrugged. “We can always pop more if… we…” He trailed off, train of thought vacating the station as Shiro turned his back to him to put the remaining packs of popcorn into the cabinets. His hips swayed to an unheard rhythm, defined muscles flexing as he reached up and slid the popcorn into place on the top shelf. Lance’s eyes trailed down to the V of his back, the sweats hanging low enough for him to spot the curve of his round ass. Yet another anomaly of those pants was the manner in which they accentuated his bottom while still remaining baggy around his legs.

The obnoxious ding of the microwave nearly startled Lance out of his skin. His shift on the couch must have been audible, Shiro raised a brow at him over his shoulder, a cocky smirk crossing his lips as he leaned over to retrieve the finished bag of popcorn.

Fuck, he was toying with him! Well, two could play that game!

5- Nasty Smoothie by strawberrylovely

Lance works in a smoothie shop. Twice a week, a certain customer comes in and orders a nasty smoothie. Lance is head over heels.

6- A Hit and A Miss (tletoe) by strawberrylovely

Basically, Lance goes to a party with Hunk and blows his friend a kiss. However, he wasn’t expecting the cute stranger standing in front of Hunk to think the kiss was for him.

7- you should let me (love you) by godsensei

There’s something in the bathtub. Suddenly, Lance is pissed at his past self for watching so many horror movies with creepy shower scenes. He’s certainly too young and beautiful to die like this, right?

Right, totally.

He hesitates, but creeps forward, peeking slowly behind the curtain.

Hm. There’s a hot guy in there.

8- just call me daddy by proletaricat [Explicit and omegaverse]

It's the typical a/b/o story - someone's off their suppressants, surprise heats, bam sex! Except this time Lance escapes capture with the help of Hunk and Shiro has to apologize for his behavior later, interrupting Lance in the middle of his Altean telenovela. Then they bang. It's... it's basically just a PWP with daddy kink and knotting.

9- Sometimes Playing Around with the Occult Can Turn Out Well (Like... REALLY well) by gorgawesome [Explicit]

Lance had the best costume prepared for this Halloween Party. He was totally gonna slay and finally get laid for the first time in MONTHS!

Except it's Halloween Night and he's stuck looking after the family bookstore, because local robberies or something. Honestly? He was too busy pouting to be listening.

Can an awful, boring night turn for the better? Yes. Yes, it can.

10- I found religion between your thighs by KillTheDirector [in process]

He had been topside for over four decades, enjoying the freedom he never had down in the pit. Routines were established then broken then reestablished, but Shiro abided by them because that’s what kept him alive.

Then he met a witch that was more suited to being an incubus than him.

11- One Symbol Off by Silas_Writes [Explicit]

anonymous whispered: Incubus/succubus shiro and witch lance use summoning circles and potions inappropriately

12- To Seduce the Seducer by singtolife [Explicit]

At a college party, Shiro meets Lance, and they hit it off immediately. Only to find out after they have sex that this amazingly sexy guy was a little too good to be true.

13- Blue Skies in Stockholm by Shanced [Explicit, non-con and Kuro]

Lance gets captured by Shiro (who was fused with Kuro by Haggar) and the rest is self indulgent kinky sex. Lance gets raped and wrecked by Shiro and develops Stockholm syndrome, or the likes of it, Shiro can apparently unfuse with Kuro and they have a really good time.

14- Treadmill by kitausu

At 2 minutes of torture in, Lance heard the buzz/click noise of someone’s electronic key activating and opening the door to the gym. And of course, because this was Lance’s life, Hunk had pushed him onto a treadmill with a mirror right in front, affording him an absolutely stunning view of the man walking through the door.

Had Lance loved till now? He was pretty sure that he had never even felt an emotion before seeing the beautiful male specimen reflected beside his face in the mirror.

or, Lance waxes poetic about Shiro's everything, and Hunk set it all up in the first place.

15- Black & Blue & Red All Over by thesynapticsnap

When Lance shows up to the gym with a limp and covered in bruises, Shiro assumes the worst (spoiler: It’s nothing bad! Nor anything kinky, surprisingly).

16- Car Door Blues by ShiekahKami

Shiro never would have expected that accidentally knocking that cute guy out could change his life for the better.

17- Give It a Shance by YonaDawn [in process]

The domestic life of Shance. At least until they become Twitter and Youtube famous. Then it's a wild domestic life.

18- Bowling for Balls? by EllaAniMine

They were just supposed to be bowling... It was harmless fun, or it was supposed to be.

Lance thought he was being funny, but a message that was supposed to be a joke was sent, and now Lance isn't laughing.

19- llévame si quieres by kalakauuas

Shiro takes his dogs to the park and meets the world’s cutest uncle and his niece.

"Lance and his little niece, petting Shiro’s dog, looking soft and serene; it’s like nothing could ever be truly wrong in the world if this is able to happen. What Shiro wouldn’t give to have this sight in front of him over and over again. He scratches Sirius behind the ears, and gets a reassuring lick in return as an act of solidarity. You’ve got this. Man’s best friend, for real."

20- (Mg,Fe2+)2(Mg,Fe2+)5Si8O22(OH)2 by starboyshiro

Lance and Shiro decided to expand their little family and adopt a dog. What they name him is rather questionable.

21- You're Worth More by AbandonedLibrary

Lance wanted to prove his pod his worth after that jackass rolo came in with black pearls in hand.

As the pearl expert in the group he needed to keep his name sake.

Though... Lance learned there are things worth more than pretty pearls.

22- Curiosity Caught a Cat by c0cunt

Shiro has been distancing himself from his friends and family for a long time. All he really has now is Matt's cat, Zekrom. At least, until a man crashes into his balcony to pet his cat.

23- Head Over Heels by saecchii [Kemonomimi and Explicit]

Shiro gains a new roommate, who he is absolutely smitten with.

24- Stray Cats by kitausu

Lance is really enamored with the cute guy who keeps coming into his pet store and buying WAY too much cat food.

or, Shiro moves into a new apartment and sees how many strays there are in the parking lot and just HAS to feed them.

25- Kiss the Bees by kitausu

Lance is smitten with the beekeeper next door.

26- BlueVoice by kitausu [Explicit]

Lance runs a relatively popular voice RP blog and one day hears his own voice coming out of the headphones of the really hot guy next to him at the gym.

27- Change of Plans by kitausu

When Shiro is left at the alter, he decides to go on his honeymoon alone. Enter Lance, the man Shiro had hired to take him and his would-be bride on a month long tour of Europe.

28- To The Grooms by AChapterCanBeABook

There is no better way to celebrate the best day of your life than reminiscing with the people who you love the most and who have been with you through nearly every step in your life. Let's not forget a little bit of embarrassment which goes along with best men speeches, especially if your best man is your brother and the other best man is his accomplice in this whole thing. nevertheless, it doesn't fail in livening up a wedding as well as making in just that much more sentimental.

29- Tell the Truth by thesynapticsnap

Lance is bitten by a 'love bug', turning him into a blushing, stammering mess around his crush- Shiro. Shiro helps him deal with the negative side effects, learning more about Lance's crush and considering his own feelings as they talk.

30- Guess Again by thesynapticsnap

Keith confronts Lance about something he witnessed during a team mind-melding exercise…too bad he’s got the wrong culprit.

31- Smooth by thesynapticsnap

Lance’s first meeting with Shiro doesn’t go as planned – it turns out so much better than he expected.

32- Blind Date by kitausu

“What’s the crisis? I thought you had a blind date? Didn’t go well?”

Lance wailed, collapsing into the couch with a dramatic sigh.

“Yesss, Hunk. He’s too handsome. He’s just so hot. You would not believe what he did to me. I still can’t believe it.”

or, Lance goes on a blind date and can't handle how hot Shiro is.

33- SandMan by Might_suck_but_thats_ok

Shiro goes on a blind date with Lance.

34- Lucky by zombiegardener

Shiro accidentally tells Keith that he's dating one of his frenemies from high school over a Saturday morning phone call, because how is this his life?

35- Boundaries by zombiegardener

It's really hard to keep a relationship secret when you're making out in the middle of a hallway.

36- beauty queen on the silver screen (living life like i'm in a dream) by heavenlyrare

What do you give to someone who already holds the world in their palms?

OR

The sweaters Shiro’s mom knits him every Christmas actually serves a greater purpose for once.

37- Text Me by strawberrylovely

Shiro, trying to get away from two girls who won't stop flirting with him, sits down next to a stranger who he pretends is his boyfriend. The stranger, who has pretty blue eyes, goes along with it.

38- Undateable by strawberrylovely

Lance just wishes someone would date him. Shiro offers to do just that.

39- Black Friday by strawberrylovely

Lance is gonna get that stand mixer. Unless of course a handsome stranger gets to it first.

40- Midnight Tradition by strawberrylovely

Lance goes to a New Years party and meets a guy named Shiro. They may be strangers, but they kiss at midnight anyway. After the party, Lance doesn’t think he’ll ever see Shiro again. That is until the next New Years party when the two meet again and a tradition starts.

Parts 1 / 2 / 3

[nafsbluebery]

COOL FUN GAME THING!!!!

tagged by @quotes-have-got-to-slay

please feel free to change the title

rules: answer all questions, tag 11 people, and make 11 new questions! fave color?

midnight blue!! like darker than navy.. its a very specific colour

fave ship?

oohhh....prinxiety cause i loVE RIVALRY SO MUCHH AAAA

have you ever joined a pride parade/march?

Unfortunately no!! I was actually going to go to the last one but it was my friends’ birthday so we cancelled. there's always next time!!

least favorite ship?

oohh well remus/roman in a non-platonic sense. im strongly against incest

lucky number?

4!! my birthday is actually 4/4/2003 soo...

fave sanders sides video?

accepting anxiety!!! ALWAYS!! it was just... very very cool and spoke to me.

how and when did you find Thomas sanders?

oh my god! im actually a very recent fander (i found him like 5-6 months ago) i was basically reminiscing about vine again and found his short videos and basically went from there!!

emoji that resembles you the most?

favourite singer/band?

oh god. my music taste is all over the place. i (at the moments) am just listening to musicals over and over again. its a problem. (hit me up if you have a decent music taste please i am struggling)

favourite song?

there are so many... but recently heard ‘wolf in sheep clothing’ again and now im listening to that for a while... idk...

night owl or early bird?

mix of both? I can do whatever depending on the situation.. I do prefer staying up late though

do you play any instruments? which ones?

i. am not musical. I have been told I have a good voice but haven't gone to lessons for ANYTHING!

favourite side?

oh. this is hard. oh no. i immediately love logan because he is so no-nonsense and i... cutie. Virgil is so witty and sarcastic and such a deep character i cannot. personally, i relate to Patton a lot in the sense that my friends always come first and his attitude is adorable!!  Roman i feel is.. he hides his true feeling and there is so much angst i feel like needs to be explored.. i relate to him the most personality wise... so i feel like probably my fave would either be logan or roman idk..

deceit is such a cutie and I love him but... personally not really a fave, and Remus is hilarious but not.. in a fave kinda way you get?

why’s the sky blue?

OH this is actually very interesting! blue light is the shortest of all light waves, that means that it gets scattered and refracted a lot more! this makes the sky appear blue as there is more blue light in the sky!

cats or dogs?!

cats all the way (teensy bit afraid of dogs please don't @ me I have a childhood trauma)

whats one of your “its the little things that mean the most” pleasures?

for me, the smallest gestures like giving you a hug when you get home or helping you avoid topics that make you uncomfortable in public, they mean the world. It shows that you took the time to get to know me and that now you care about me enough to do something about it. it's just... it takes my heart.

favourite youtuber?

oh i just really like animators such as jaiden animations and the odd1sout      

favourite movie?

oh... this is hard... I don't particularly have one. i do watch a lot of disney and marvel..

if you could get rid of one thing/limitation in your life, what would it be?

my family. They push me to do things that I otherwise could do and claim that it's for ‘religion’ when it really isn't. don't get me wrong I love my family and care about them deeply, but sometimes I wish it was more..mutual.

what's the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen?

THIS IS GOING TO BE A TAD SEXUAL SO JUST WARNING YOU

I saw 2 of my classmates (14 at the time) behind a MacDonalds. the girl was doing lewd things to the boy’s private area with her mouth. needless to say,i ran out of there

do you have a catchphrase? if so what is it?

I say ‘it be like that sometimes’ a lot..?

what’s the pettiest thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

I'm not a very petty person but this one... very mean girl was in my group for a project and we were outside. despite being (and I don't mean to brag) one of the more knowledgeable ones in our group, I was stuck holding all her stuff while she took all the measurements (incorrectly) and ignored all my attempts at asking her to let me help. at one point she told me that she wouldn't be surprised if I just dropped all her stuff ‘like the useless dumb*ss b*itch I was’..Good thing I was in front of a muddy puddle. Needless to say I ‘accidentally’ dropped all her stuff and her new expensive bag in the mud. (it was leather and therefore easily cleaned)

NEW QUESTIONS!:::

favourite book series?

favourite genre of books/movies?

what colour palette do you usually dress in?

favourite traits in a friend/

least favourite traits in a person?

how many languages can you speak?

do you regularly wear jewelry?

what colour is your natrual hair? what colour dye could/would/do you have?

can you crack your knuckles?

video games yes or no?

tea or coffee?

 @uraveragealien321 @tinydemondragon @seek--knowledge @strickenwithclairvoyance @puns-and-patton  @logically-asexual @goodoldpanicattheeverywhere @gremlin-tears @wafflegruffalo @crudebutcreative @sign-from-god-complex

[howlingwind]

SERRA DELIA KELLER who strongly resembles MELISA PAMUK, has been spotted in Pandæmonium. The CISFEMALE is a TWENTY SIX / ~150 year old DHAMPIR, and has been in Pandæmonium for FIVE YEARS. I hear they’re CUNNING & ADAPTABLE and UNSCRUPULOUS & WICKED. If you’re lucky you may catch them working at EQUINOX as the OWNER.

ok so full-ish bio down below but cliff notes, she’s the actual jack the ripper.

likes: long walks down dark alleys, gutting randos (particularly women, especially of the homophobic variety), the taste of blood, using sex as a weapon, using other things as weapons, manipulation, and torture.

dislikes: a fucking lot

has the weirdest mash-up of accents ever. she was raised early on by her father, a native of turkey (turkish accent), grew up in london’s east end (cockney accent), moved to notting hill (queen’s english). however for the majority of her life, she’s lived in new orleans (uptown nola accent). it’s odd and she knows it, but doesn’t shy away from it.

had a thing with ana volkov once. met her early in life when she required her services, and has sought her out a few times since. still need to work out the details more w/ dani, but she’s definitely met her match there. in more ways than one as far as serra’s concerned.

had a phase during her jack the ripper days where she ate human organs. it was a thing. she liked the idea of it more than anything, and eventually it lost its appeal.

in case you couldn’t tell yet, she’s sadistic and twisted as fuck. not as much as she used to be, but yeah, still not normal lol

pretty rich. owns equinox, used to own a restaurant in new orleans, owns a lot of properties all over the world. she got inheritance money from a family she compelled to adopt her.

has the personality of a spoiled teenage heiress tbh so i’m sure everyone she meets will love her lmao

this is the story of the woman behind the ‘whitechapel murders’ of 1888 and other slayings attributed to the unidentified serial killer known as jack the ripper.

london, england. early 19th century. a turkish vampire has made a humble life for himself on the east end after being hunted and chased out of his home country. he meets a human woman, falls in love. she bears him a child. the birth had complications, she required a cesarean delivery. the man insisted on being by his wife’s side throughout. it was the first time he’d ever seen her bleed. he’d been living on the blood of rats to survive, keep his head down, and keep the promise he made to his wife not to harm anyone. he broke that promise. slaughtered everyone in the room. doctors, nurses… his wife. he drank every last drop of her, then took the baby to raise on his own. named her serra, after her grandmother, and delia, after her mother.

serra’s early childhood was full of nothing but fond memories, as are most. her father was her hero, her protector, her entire world. their lives were humble and secretive, but it was all she’d ever known. then one day her world’s ripped to shreds when a hunter breaks into their home and slices his head clean off while she hides under the floor boards. after that she lived on the streets, a beggar and thief before the age of ten. it’s around this time she begins to realize she’s not like the other children. she’s faster, stronger, can hear the blood coursing through people’s veins. it’s scary at first, but she spends the next year on the streets, exploring her powers, honing her ability. one day, lying in an alley, eating scraps, she has a crucial epiphany — she has the power to change her situation. so she stands up, marches herself from brick lane all the way over to notting hill, finds the richest looking woman she can, walks up to her, looks her in the eye, and says “love me.” so the woman takes serra home to her husband and children, and serra compels them all just the same. she was adopted soon after, and from then on, she lived in the lap of luxury.

her life was relatively quiet and happy after that. she settled into her new family nicely, and she actually thought they may have grown to care for her even without the compulsion. that wasn’t necessarily a good thing, however. serra was only sixteen when she began to notice it. the lingering looks, intense stares… the innuendo that her adoptive father would lace into every word he spoke to her. for a while she thought she was just imagining it, until eventually over the next couple years the advances became more overt, and moved beyond just words. “love me,” she’d instructed all those years ago. she should have been more specific. to this day she’s still unsure if it was just her nerves and fear, if she’d let it fester too long to be fixed, or if it wasn’t the compulsion at all, but despite her best attempts, she was never able to reverse what she thought she’d done. so she went back to the east end for the first time since the day she left, made some inquiries, influenced some poor souls to divulge information they shouldn’t have had. serra needed someone to clean up a mess by creating one, and thus she sought out the services of anastasia volkov.

serra wanted to be party to the murder. the fiend in her home was growing bolder by the day and it made her skin crawl. she wanted to see the life leave his eyes and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he’d never be back. serra stayed close to ana as they approached the man, and smiled as she watched his throat be splayed open. having such a close, front row seat, she’d gotten blood on her face, dripping down onto her lips, slipping between the cracks and dancing on her tongue. it was the most delightful thing she’d ever tasted, but she knew it was wrong to enjoy it like she did and vowed never to taste another drop of human blood. that vow was broken within two weeks, obviously. 

england at the time was fairly bigoted when it came to the matter of same sex relationships, but it just so happened those were the only kind that serra was interested in pursuing. but simply being attracted to another woman and making her move was considered a shameful, criminal act. when at her best friend’s house in whitechapel — they’d become friends before she realized the girl was poor — serra felt a sort of spark that she was sure the other girl felt too, so she kissed her. the other girl freaked out, and told her she was going to have her arrested. serra couldn’t have that. (at the time, she didn’t realize there was no legislation against lesbians, she only knew the hatred and fear behind her friend’s threat). she wrapped her hand around the girl’s jaw, muffled her screams, and fed until she’d drained all the life from her body. then she went downstairs. she was so exhilarated and giddy at the feeling of all that blood rushing through her system. she felt powerful. so she decided to exert a bit of that energy on the girl’s mother, using only her fingernail to rip her abdomen wide open. serra was absolutely enamored with the feeling. addicted to it. she had a new hobby. so she continued on down that path, killing a new woman every now and then, getting more creative — artistic with the murders, taking delight in her craft, taunting the police with letters and other obvious evidence just lying around. but of course, no one ever suspected a woman. especially not a young, unassuming woman like serra keller. a serial killer. she liked the sound of that.

eventually the murders lost their luster. either serra was growing up, or it was no longer fun to play the game of cat and mouse when she was never in danger of being suspected, let alone caught or imprisoned. after some time, with nothing left for her in london (except for some questions about why she appeared to be twenty when she should have been in her fifties) she moved across the pond to new orleans, opened a restaurant, and settled into a mostly quiet life. still occasionally having her fun with some unfortunate party-goers during mardi gras, or taking trips abroad to take in the view, enjoy the local “cuisine”, or get up to some other deplorable high-jinks. it was a good life, if not a tad bit boring. until recent years. she heard of a town called pandemonium, a supernatural haven, and the thought of it was enticing. a place where she could live freely as the dhampir that she was, and perhaps even find companionship with people that shared her taste for blood and murder. at the drop of a hat she picked up and left to see what awaited her in a town of monsters.

[beetlesacquired]

Klance Fanfic Rec List

I’ve currently got 118 Klance Ao3 links saved and I wanted to share some of my favorites so here ya go: (There’s a Shklance at the bottom btw)

He Who Fights Monsters by magisterpavis

Words: 64,888 Smut: yes Completed: yes

This is a really slow burn fic with a captivating plot and guys.  Dragons.  There’s so many dragons.  This author is also one of my favorites btw I love them.

Summary:  In a world where monstrous dragons terrorize humanity daily, the Garrison trains valiant Knights to slay the evil beasts and defend Earth. But when Knight cadet Lance Espinosa is kidnapped by a strange red dragon who kills its own kind, certain truths are revealed...and so are the true monsters.

Dirty Laundry by Anonymous

Words: 85,042 Smut: there’s a heated makeout scene or two but no actual smut Completed: yes

If you haven’t read this do you even ship Klance?  It’s the fake dating fic to top all fake dating fics.  It’s so sweet and feely you’ll cry buckets and it’s also incredibly funny.  I’ve probably read it like 5 times.  Kinda slow burn kinda not?  Internalized homophobia and homophobia from family warnings.

Summary: "Two whole months of free laundry in exchange for two weeks of being my fake boyfriend. Deal?” Keith hesitated for a moment. Was this really worth it? Hardly. Lance was an asshole, and he wasn’t sure what fake dating would entail. But, free laundry was free laundry, right? “Alright, it’s a deal.”  Or: Lance makes the mistake of telling his Mom he has a boyfriend coming home with him for Christmas. Keith makes the mistake of agreeing to be Lance's 'fake boyfriend'.

Ignorance is Bliss by YouAreInAComaWakeUp (Nikanaiko)

Words: 172,675 Smut: no Completed: yes

This is probably the number one most emotional fic I’m gonna list here.  There’s ghosts guys and that means characters I hold dear to my heart are dead so warning there.  Pretty sure I was sobbing through multiple chapters.  Real slow burn, but the build up is so worth it especially with how amazing the plot is.  I’ve got quotes from this fic hanging on my wall rn that’s how fantastic the writing is.  Suicide and internalized homophobia warnings.

Summary:As it turns out, learning that your house is haunted makes the ghosts a lot more aggressive. Who knew?  Ah, well. At least one of them is hot. And he's the less-evil one, too, so that's always a plus.

The Message by shipstiel

Words: 132,787 Smut: no Completed: yes

This is kinda a texting fic?  So lots of bants and comedy, mostly Lance cracking jokes and Keith being done with his life.  It’s a really cute fluffy thing.  Depression, car crash, nightmares, and mentions of suicide warnings

Summary: (4:07) okay, but considr this, and hear me out here (4:08) so like, a photobooth u can do with ur pets like there’ll be lil costumes that u can dress them up in, and u can do liek, period costumes and shit with them (4:09) omg, can u imagine, u and ur cat/dog, and theyre in a lil 1800s dress and one of those lace umbrella things omg so cute(4:15) Why the FUCK are you texting me at four in the morning with this— Keith is texted by accident by some idiot one day, and honestly he's not even sure why he responds. Or why he keeps responding. Yet somehow he finds himself drawn in, and okay, so maybe this fool is mildly entertaining after all. Who would've thought.

True Love or Something by DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee

Words: 188,626 Smut: no Completed: kinda??

This is more of a collection of short stories based around Keith, Lance, and the gang than an actual plot filled fic and normally I don’t like that sort of thing, but I’m in love with this because it’s so funny and cute and despite it having 37 parts and counting, it doesn’t get boring or tedious at all.  There’s a couple angsty parts especially regarding Keith’s Tragic Backstory but it’s all around just amazing.  

Summary: “So that was…” “If you say painless I’m shoving you into another snowdrift.” “Okay, that’s fair. But you got a lollipop!” “That you stole from pediatrics.” “I’m a very good date.”  Lance accidentally crashes into his new neighbor in front of their mailboxes and somehow ends the night with a very attractive (and slightly concussed) date.

Mistakes were made (Skinny band nerd takes it up the ass from the beefcake football captain) by Lynn1998

Words: 50,727 Smut: yes Completed: no Last Update: Jan 31 2017

I normally wouldn’t recommend unfinished fics, especially ones that haven’t been updated in over a year but I honestly just really like this one.  The smut is top notch and there’s plot, fluff, and angst in there as well.  I really like it. 

Summary:  Lance can't stand the captain of the football team…so why is he having sex with him?

I Swear to You by AlyxRae

Words: 123,991 Smut: no Completed: yes

Bodyguard AU!!!  Altean Prince Lance with Galra Bodyguard Keith is literally my favorite thing ever I love it.  This fic gave me whiplash with the amount of times everything went from nice and happy to death and destruction in a heart beat it’s crazy.  Least to say, lots of angst.

Summary: With the destruction of their home planet, the remaining Galra are forced to take refuge with the kind Alteans. Much darker plans begin to take shape and a young Galra solider is made the bodyguard of the Altean Prince, with orders to kill him when the time is right. However, the charming prince manages to capture the Galra's heart and ends up being captivated by the solider in return.The prince and the bodyguard are thrown into perilous adventures, all the while trying to stay together and keep each other safe.

Shadow of the Past and Ghost of the Future by wittyy_name and Zizzani

Words: 75,120 (GoF) 83,198 (SoP) Smut: no Completed: no Last Update: Feb 22 2018

These two fics are mirror fics, which is so cool.  Basically Lance gets sent one year into the future and future Lance gets sent back one year.  SoP is from Lance’s POV while he’s in the future and GoF is from Keith’s POV while future Lance is in the past with him.  I really love this fic and I’m always checking in for updates, which come in pairs (one for each fic).  It doesn’t matter which order you read them btw.

Summary: (SoP) When Lance is thrown through time, he finds himself one year in the future, in place of the Lance that should be here.He finds his team to be remarkably familiar, yet distinctly different. They have more scars, a better grip on the whole saving the universe thing, and over a year’s worth of teamwork to bind them together. But the weirdest part? Keith seems to be a lot more touchy with him. Not that he’s complaining… much.The team must try and work out how to reverse the two Lance’s places and restore them to their original timelines. But despite the fact that they’re still his friends, Lance can’t help but feel a little out of place among a team that’s been through so much with a Lance that just isn’t him. And it doesn’t help that the team is on edge around him, refusing to tell him anything for fear of influencing and changing the past. Things get even more complicated when they have to rely on the team in the past to complete the switch, leaving Lance to little more than sit, wait, and attempt to fill in his future self’s shoes. 

(GoF) When Lance is thrown through time, his future self from one year ahead is transported to the past in his place.This Lance is faster, stronger, and markedly more mature. Not only that, but he's distinctly more intuitive about his teammates and A LOT more touchy with Keith.The team must try and work out how to reverse the two Lance's places and restore them to their original timelines. Things only get more complicated when the Future Lance can't seem to remember where he was when the switch happened, and he refuses to reveal anything about his own time for fear of influencing the team's decisions.

The Hurricane In His Veins by magisterpavus

Words: 249,189 Smut: yes Completed: yes

So this is actually Shklance because I don’t have enough recs for this ship to make it it’s own post and this fic is honestly just really really good.  It’s probably my favorite out of everything here.  It’s a vampire AU and I love it so much.  The plot is incredible (the author should publish a book tbh it’s that good I’d buy it), there are some really cute moments, and it’s goddamn hilarious.  There’s the perfect combination of angst, smut, and fluff and I’ve read this about 10 times since I discovered it a couple months ago.  I suggest it even if you don’t ship Shklance tbh it’s that good.

Summary: It’s the summer after high school graduation, and Lance, Hunk, and Pidge are spending three months together in Pidge’s sleepy California hometown, Rosewood, before they all go their separate ways in life. It’s supposed to be fun and relaxing, filled with long days at the beach and even longer nights playing video games; a last hurrah with Lance’s best friends.But when one of Pidge’s ridiculous cryptid searches leads the trio to a mysterious pair of vampires in the woods and the web of magic and murder that they’re entangled in, the summer gets a lot more complicated…and more dangerous than they could’ve imagined.

Like I said, I’ve got 118 bookmarks so if you guys wanna pop into my asks or messages and see if I’ve got something specific, please do!