#his name is biggie smalls tho so

[rudeinterrupti0ns]

I will NEVER forgive my teeth for playing up for the first time in my thirties the MONTH before Taylor 'I've dropped 6 albums since my last tour' Swift announces her next tour. I can barely afford rent for dental work and now TOUR TAYLOR??!? NO! how could you

[azlan-snow]

Broadcast Husbands

Chapter Thirteen: The King Of Hell

(Told from Lucifer’s POV)

As I head to the hotel, I begin to make a list of all that I need to apologize for to Charlie. I didn’t realize how much damage I’ve done to my poor girl. But, she’s all about redemption, right? Right? Facing Charlie is the hardest thing I need to do, so socializing will be a breeze, right?

I enter the hotel, greeting Charlie with a large smile.

“CHARLIE!”

“Hi Dad!” She hugs me, knocking my hat off my head in the process. I go to pick it up when it disappears.”

“There you are, your Majesty. Nice and visible.” 

I see the red demon from last night, holding my hat and placing it on my head, adjusting it accordingly.

“Who’re you?”

“Alastor, pleasure to be meeting you, quite a pleasure.”

“It’s a pleasure to be meeting you as well.”

“And this is Vox, Alastor’s husband!”

“Husband?”

“Happily married, your Eminence. It’s a pleasure to be meeting the First Fallen and King of Hell.”

I wince at the last statement, hurt by what he said.

“I meant no disrespect, My King,” Vox says, kneeling on the floor. “It was truly a compliment!”

“It’s fine,” I say, trying not to feel hurt. “Who are the rest of your friends?”

“This is Angel, Husk, and Niffty.”

I instantly freeze at the last name. Ons I could never forget. I see the small girl run towards me and grin once she reaches my feet. But she doesn’t say anything. She just stares at me, her singular eye baring holes right into me.

“Don’t mind her, your Excellency. It just means she likes you,” Alastor says, a similar sadistic smile on his face. 

“Uh huh.”

“Dad. Guess what?”

“What, honey?”

“Al, Husk, and Vox are all Overlords!”

“What?! You befriended Overlords? Why?”

“Vox and Al liked my idea of redemption and Husk was willing to give it a shot!” 

I turn to look at the three, smiles sincere except for Husk, who looks exhausted.

“Nice ta’ meet’cha, Short King. The name’s Angel Dust.” The skinny fellow offers me his lower right hand, his gold tooth sticking out like a sore thumb. 

I notice his pink smoke chain before asking as I shook his hand, “Who owns your soul? I noticed your chain.” Angel seemed caught off guard by the question, releasing my hand and shivering.

“Valentino. That fuckin’ moth does.”

“Who’s he?”

“An overlord. Known for his adult films and prostitution, I’m afraid,” Al answers, disappointment on his fence.

“His sin’s lust, huh?"

“I believe so.”

I turn back to Angel, who’s look has saddened drastically. “Would you like to be free?”

He looked down at me, eyes filled with desperation, before filling with worry. “I don’t want anyone here to get hurt. He might think it was Charlie and come afta’ her.”

“I’ll handle that. Do you want to be freed?” 

He paused once more, giving it more thought, before answering “Yes. I do.”

“Okie Dokie!” I grasp Angel’s chain and squeeze it, shattering it to a million pieces. Angel looked at me, relieved and in tears, hugging me tightly, picking me up and squeezing, in tears. “Thank you,” he mumbled into my shoulder. “Thank you so much. How can I ever repay you?” he asks, putting me back on solid ground.

“No biggie! I’m just glad I can help!”

“Dad,” Charlie says, thankful for my help, “This is my girlfriend, Vaggie.”

“Girlfriend?” Charlie nods in agreement. “Put er’ the re, Maggie! It’s lovely to meet my daughter’s lover!” 

“It’s Vaggie, sir. And it’s lovely to meet you as well,” she says while shaking my hand. As soon as they meet, I could tell she was like me: Fallen. She could too. My smile softens at something I am able to relate to, and she grins knowingly. We release, and I turn back to the other residents. “Shall we get this tour started?”

As Charlie and Vox show me around, I begin to notice how much has changed since I gave Charlie the building. The way she looks at her friends, like family, how she connects to the other people so well, because she too, is imperfect. Because of me. All her hurt and pain that she’s masking, is because of me and Lilith. If we hadn’t done those things, we would still be closer. But I can’t  undo the past. I need to make up for it now.

“Charlie.”

“Yeah Dad?”

“I want to apologize.”

“ What for? You haven’t done anything.”

“That’s exactly what I need to apologize for. I haven’t done anything for you in the last couple of centuries. I shut myself away, hoping that your mother would come back, when I already knew that she wasn’t.”

“What are you tallking about, Dad?”

“ She left us because of me, not you. I want you to know that none of this is your fault. It’s mine.”

“Dad, none of this is your fault.”

“It’s not yours, either, Charlie.”

“I know, Dad.”

“I’m so sorry, Charlie.” I burst into tears, crashing to the floor in front of Charlie, begging for her forgiveness.. She knelt beside me, embracing me tightly.

“I forgive you, Dad. I know it wasn’t your fault. It’s going to be okay.” We sit there for a solid minute or two as I released the guilt that I had been holding onto but was never man enough to admit it. 

“I’m going to do better, Charlie. Maybe even stay here.”

“You would move in?!”

“Only if you want me to.”

“That would be amazing!”

“Okay then!” I turn to the TV man, who’s just been listening to us sob and cry for a solid 10 minutes.

“My good man, would you be so kind and accompany me to a room that I can claim?”

“Of course, sire.” He leads me down to a large suite, unlocks the door and displays the empty room. “My room is next door if you need me or Al, your Majesty.”

“Vox, hold on. I’m not done with you yet.”

“Oh? How may I be of assistance?”

“Charlie. And Angel. They are friends, correct?”

“Yes. Angel was the first resident and has stayed here for a year.”

“I just can’t figure out why Charlie didn’t free him herself.”

“She has the capability to do that?”

“Of course she does! She’s my daughter!”

“She might be unaware. She’s never dealt with a soul contract, from what I can tell.”

“Good. No one should even be able to wield her soul in the first place.”

“Why would that be an issue?”

“Charlie’s half angel, half human. She’s the only one of her kind and has the strength to cripple Heaven if she desired. But her soul is too pure to even achieve such a thing.”

“Interesting.”

“But this will stay between us, yes?”

“Of course, your Grace.”

“Thank you.”

“I shall leave you to your room then.” Vox leaves, shutting the door behind him gently. I begin to shape the room like my workshop in the palace, covered in rubber ducks, but organized. Charlie would have my head if it wasn’t. They lie on a shelf, each one in order of creation date. A bed large enough, even though I’m rather small. My wings take up most of the space. A table, filled with bits and pieces for making rubber ducks, and pictures of my beloved daughter. Once I finish, I lay on the bed, exhausted from the entire day. I hear small four knocks on the door. I open it to see Angel, standing tall above me. “Can I help you?”

“Your Majesty, I wanted to thank you. For freeing me. I made this for you.” He hands me a knitted portrait of Charlie and I, showcasing her beautiful smile, and our signature clown cheeks.

“Thank you, An-”

“Anthony. I am finally free from that name: Angel Dust. I can use my actual name now.”

“Then thank you, Anthony,” I exclaim, sincerity in my voice as I begin to cry once again. I know, I’m a mess. 

“I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s happy tears, Anthony. Tears of joy. This is the first gift I’ve had in a very very long time. And the most considerate, too.”

“Oh.Thanks, your Majesty.”

“Call me Lucifer. It’s the least I can do.”

“You’ve done so much. Charlie hasn’t stopped smiling since you said you would move in. She’s also gone a little stir crazy from the last few days.”

“That’s my girl. If you’re not crazy, you shouldn’t be down here.” Angel laughs wholeheartedly at my joke before speaking again.

“Also, Charlie wants me to tell you that it’s time to eat.”

“I’ll be right down.” Angel walks away, waving at me to hurry up as he continues. I rush to change, putting on a more casual outfit, and head downstairs. 

At the table was a whole different breed of crazy. Everyone was talking and eating. My seat next to Charlie was chill, thankfully. She only asked the occasional question of if I liked the food Alastor made. He’s an impressive cook, I’ll give him that. But I plan on making Charlie my signature pancakes. The only thing I can cook, and cook well. But today was a good day after all.

[fqiryspit]

LITTLE TITTY GF + EREN HEADCANONS

an: I hope this doesn't seem too weird lmao. very me just wanting eren to praise me for tiny tits lol. itty bitty tits and biggy litty tits and all beautiful! this is honestly just written for me and for my confidence 💀 eren loves all tit sizes! from big to small this horn dog is in love <3 this isn't me saying that eren doesn't like big tits!! please don't take this the wrong way omggg 😭

cw: boobie talk, use of "little tits" and such, eren being a perv, cocky eren asf, reader described as "tiny", breeding kink, titty attention <3

Erens always liked big tits. it wasn't a deal breaker, it wasn't a pick and choosy thing...just...a plus.

he wouldn't scope out big tittied girls, that wasn't his thing, honestly, he is pretty popular so he usually had girls in his face, and usually, those girls were more...plump in some areas.

he wouldn't go as far to say people would chase after him -even tho that's exactly what happens, this man is gorgeous- but if he needed a quick hook up, it wouldn't be hard to get one.

so yeah, fuck, sue him, he'd gravitate to girls with bigger tits. he likes to suck, pull, fuck them so why would he not?

and then he met you.

this tiny ass girl with the cutest little tits ever and one hell of an attitude, and this boy is suddenly chasing you

and fuck, you're adorable. he's all of the sudden the type to hold your purse and follow you like a lost puppy because damn without you he feels like one.

he never saw it as a downside or something that you just simply lack, that doesn't matter to him.

and when you guys fucked for the first time, he went up to those tittys and slobbered them with kisses, licks, and some bites. he sucked at them forever and you couldn't help but feel shocked because no one paid any attention to them before

and when he noticed how honestly shocked you were, and when you moaned a confession that, "no one has ever done this to me before" he felt a little pissed off at the other guys for treating you that way.

and yeah, he found it fucking hot that when his cock was ramming in and out of you, you grabbed on yourself, grabbing at your little tits as you screamed his name had him almost fucking cumming

it was just the way you pulled at your perky little nips that had him throwing his head back and rubbing your clit because fuck, if you didn't cum soon he was about to ruin your orgasm.

and when you did he shot his baby batter straight into your womb <3 cuz shawty is about to make those itty bitty titties to milked-filled ones ♡

an: the ending kinda seems weird, it's not him trying to make her boobies big dw, it's just mf has a breeding kink 💀 again, thank you guys for 2k!!! I'll post smth soon ofc, it's just I've wanted to write something about tiny boobies and eren for a while now, just didn't know if I'd get hate on it or not lmao. anywho, ilysm mwuah! <3

[thisisthefanfic]

Only One Bed/Cuddling for Warmth Headcanons with the Bad Batch

Part One

Part two

Warnings: none! Just cuddling! There might be a 2nd part including more nsfw themes tho

Hunter

This man is pretty used to sleeping in uncomfortable spots (if at all) so he’s going to insist he can sleep on the floor right off the bat. Full stop.

Of course when it comes to the cold, his heightened senses make him more sensitive to the cold, so he’ll give in after you reason with him. Not only would he be freezing otherwise, but he hates shivering and looking weak.

Being a leader, he’s going to get the bed all nice and situated and propose that he be the big spoon, but also being a gentleman he’ll do whatever you prefer. Little spoon, you on his chest, make him lay his head on you, you name it he’ll do it as long as you’re both warm and comfortable.

He’s going to be a bit stiff though so be warned, but he’s going to try to be comforting as well as respectful. He knows he’s a bit intimidating, and that this is a strange situation and he’s going to do his best.

Soon enough he’ll be nuzzling into you a tiny bit, feeling comforted by your scent, his hand will end up in yours with your fingers intertwined, and if you listen closely when he thinks you’re asleep, you’ll hear him humming softly as he dozes off.

Wrecker

Wrecker is honestly a big hugger, he’s not afraid of showing affection and sometimes he has issues with personal space, but this situation will make him into a nervous mess.

Cuddling is no biggie, he’s cradled Omega to his chest before, same with his Lula, he loves comforting and warming small creatures and things. But laying in bed with you? His ears will go red and he’ll worry he might scare or hurt you.

You’ll have to calm him down, but seeing as you’ll both still be a bit embarrassed, he’s going to need a bit before he gets settled with the idea. Once he’s calm he’s going to focus on making you comfortable.

He’s basically a giant heater so he’s not worried about getting cold, but he’s going to worry about you. Eventually you’ll end up laying on his chest while he lies on his back, cue him desperately trying to not hug you.

Once you’re both more comfortable he’s going to wrap an arm around you and cradle your head to his chest, and then he’s off to sleepy town. I hope you don’t mind snoring.

Echo

Poor Echo, after being practically frozen by the Techno Union and made into a cyborg, he hates the cold, it’s enough to make him anxious and uncomfortable.

Despite this, Echo is ever polite and knows that he can be uncomfortable to lay against, so he’s going to repeatedly insist that you don’t have to lay with him. He’ll even offer you his warmer blacks if need be.

It won’t take long before he’s too cold and shivering to protest, and once he’s in the warm bed he’s going to cuddle into a ball and fall asleep.

Your best chance at warmth for you both is to spoon him, you may be too small to properly spoon him but that’s ok, he’ll grin in his sleep from the contact.

You’ll wake up with him turned around to nuzzle his face into the top of your head, his arms around you and one ankle over yours. He’s going to be very embarrassed and apologize when he realizes, but he’s having the best sleep of his life before he wakes.

Tech

Tech’s usual disposition can be best described as “not giving a shit”. So when this situation happens, he’s going to shrug and say that cuddling is the best option for you both and leave it at that.

You’ll find him already at home in the bed looking over his data pad until you slide in next to him, then he’s going to internally panic a bit. What if he makes you uncomfortable?

Once he takes his goggles off, he’s basically blind, and is just going to wriggle around for a minute before dozing off, I hope you’re a heavy sleeper, because he has restless legs that will kick around in his sleep.

He’s going to wake up a few times and randomly remember he needs to tap something down on his pad, then he’ll lay back down, but he’ll be a tad bit closer to you each time.

When the sun rises, his face is going to be smushed against your cheek and his arm draped over you. He’s so exhausted from constantly waking up and moving at night that he won’t even realize.

Crosshair

First he’s going to insist the bed is his and say you have to sleep somewhere else. He’s joking. Mostly. Once he realizes that it’s freezing he’ll say you can have the bed and he’ll sit at the end of the bed.

When you start shivering and his teeth won’t stop chattering, he’s going to grumble and slide in next to you, but he’ll refuse to say anything and won’t stop scowling.

When you scoot back in your sleep, seeking his warmth, he’ll freeze for a moment and then slowly run his nimble fingers through your hair, smirking a bit to himself.

As grumpy as he is, he’s very protective and touch starved, so gradually through the night he’s going to hold you closer and relax more. It takes him awhile to fall asleep so he’s focusing on you more than the others.

You’re going to wake up to your face pressed against his chest, his hand cradling you there while his knees go over your thighs to keep you in place. But before you can say or do anything he’s going to move away, but you might feel a small squeeze on your arm before he’s out.

Let me know if y’all want the part two!

[h34rtizuku]

༺♡༻ if ur under 18, dni ✧ luv u tho

∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗

୨୧ izuku is a pro hero with a 6 year old kid and it’s not mf easy

୨୧ while he’s at work, inko will watch over the child but he feels bad for putting all that burden on her so he decides to hire a nanny

୨୧ while he’s at work, inko will watch over the child but he feels bad for putting all that burden on her so he decides to hire a nanny

୨୧ while he’s at work, inko will watch over the child but he feels bad for putting all that burden on her so he decides to hire a nanny

୨୧ you're not too big on kids but you're good with them and that he experiences first hand ~

୨୧ he’s at the store one weekend with kiddo and he’s in the chip aisle looking for which type he wants to get

୨୧ mumbling to himself about which type he’s craving now but what if that craving changes later and he wants a different flavor instead

୨୧ he lets go of the little one’s hand for a split second to get the bag off the shelf and once the grocery is in his arms he turns to his side to grab the little one’s hand once more, only to find him not there

୨୧ he looks up and down the aisle - no kid

୨୧ he goes to the neighboring aisles - not there

୨୧ he goes all around the store, nervously sweating, muttering insults to himself that he lost his only kid - how stupid and unfit of a parent he was

୨୧ until he comes upon an aisle and hears the sniffles of a small child the child took a bit after him when he was a kid, a bit of a crybaby

୨୧ but he sees you

୨୧ calmly reassuring the child, patting his back, telling him to calm down and not to worry that you’ll go look for his father together

୨୧ he doesn’t know why but the sight tugs at his heart, there is something so pure and natural about how you are treating his child

୨୧ but he’s breaking up the sweet moment with a call of his child’s name causing the little boy to turn around and rush into izuku’s large warm arms

୨୧ you’re standing there a little shocked because omg that’s pro hero deku in the mf flesh

୨୧ but you're also happy that the lost boy has been reunited with his father

୨୧ you're about to walk off with a smile when he stops you

୨୧ he thanks you profusely for your help and you’re shyly like ‘it’s no biggie’ with blushed cheeks

୨୧ he asks if he can properly thank you and you’re like dude it’s really no problem

୨୧ he really is thankful but there is also something deep inside him that doesn’t quite want to let you go

୨୧ so he’s like let me buy your groceries and take you out for coffee

୨୧ and you’re about to refuse but you’re a poor college student so getting this weeks groceries for free was one thing

୨୧ but also how are you gonna pass up having coffee with the number one hero and his cute little mini-me ???

୨୧ so yall are at a cute lil cafe where he learns that you're a college student and looking for a partime job over the summer

୨୧ he’s like, you know what, why don’t i hire you as my nanny

୨୧ you’re like i’m not sure, i’m not really a kid person

୨୧ he’s like, i saw you with him, you’ll be just fine - besides he’s a good kid, he just needs someone to watch over him and feed him

୨୧ also i pay really well

୨୧ so you’re like … say less

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

୨୧ so the first day on the job you arrive at like 8 am, he gave you the code to his door so you just let yourself in

୨୧ you see kiddo at the kitchen table just eating his cheerios or whatever but no sign of izuku

୨୧ so you just go over and take a seat next to the kid and make small talk with him

୨୧ then you hear some shuffling coming from behind you causing you to turn around and investigate

୨୧ lo and behold you see a shirtless izuku with nothing but gray sweatpants hanging low on his wide hips

୨୧ he’s got a towel across his broad shoulders that he’s using to dry the jade curls that haven’t been shaved off as a part of his undercut

୨୧ you follow the droplets of water as they slide down the crevices of his pectorals and abdomen, drifting down his v line and the small tuft of hair leading down from his belly button and melting into the waistline of his pants

୨୧ you’re trying not to salivate at the sight but you also can’t bring yourself to look away just yet wanting to memorize and study the location of every scar and freckle littering his muscular torso

୨୧ he stops drying his hair for a minute and finally sees you like ‘oh great you’re here - how was the trip over here? it wasn’t too hard to find right?’

୨୧ and you’re burning eyes finally tear away from caramel torso and you’re like ‘nope, i found it just fine’ ahaha

୨୧ he gives you a little low down on like, what kid likes to eat, what he doesn’t, what he likes to do, when he goes down for a nap … all that good babysitting stuff

୨୧ after he’s dressed in his hero outfit, he’s kissing his lil nugget goodbye, telling him to treat you nicely, and with several final thank you’s he’s out the door

୨୧ and that’s the start of your job nannying the kid of the number one hero

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

୨୧ he was right, the kid is a really easy kid

୨୧ he goes down easy for his nap, he’s potty trained, inko raised him like she did izuku so he’s basically the perfect kid, he’s really sweet and will sit down and watch movies with you or he plays really easy by himself playing with his deku, all might, and dynamite action figures

୨୧ and if how easy a job it was, or the smoking hot employer wasn’t enough, the first time you got your paycheck was

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

୨୧ one day, there was a sudden summer storm that hit right as you reached your stop on the bus

୨୧ you didn’t have an umbrella, forcing you to run to izuku’s house in the pouring rain

୨୧ you show up through the front door and he comes in to greet you only to see you drenched and shivering due to the ac in his home

୨୧ he’s like, “hey y/n how- oh my god, you’re soaked.”

୨୧ and you’re rubbing at your arm awkwardly and trying to create any sort of warmth as you tell him how you got in this mess

୨୧ he’s taking in your soaked form and suddenly his worrying eyes turn into curious ones as he watches a droplet slide from your chin, down your neck, and down your chest to fall between the top alley of your breasts due to the first few buttons of your top being opened

୨୧ the white top you decided today was the perfect day to wear, and without a bra no less

୨୧ but in your shivering and embarrassment you forgot all about that minor detail

୨୧ oh but izuku didn’t forget it

୨୧ he imagined that water droplet sliding down the valley of your breasts underneath your blouse and gliding over your stomach, almost getting lost in your belly button, only to disappear under your waistband

୨୧ he imagined what it would be like to lick the droplets off your hot skin

୨୧ he scanned back up and noticed the tight see-through material of your shirt hugging your tits, dipping into every crevice leaving nothing to the imagination

୨୧ he sees the dark hue of your nipples from behind the cloth, along with the 2 little peaks your buds have made due to the cold air circulating in his house bonus points if you have your nipples pierced, i’m jealous of you

୨୧ he pulls his gaze away when he sees a violent shiver rack your body

୨୧ he leaves for a moment and comes back with a warm towel, almost sad to see the sight of your tits gone but your comfort and warmth was more important to him

୨୧ he tells you to dry off a bit as he goes and gets the shower started for you

୨୧ you’re thanking him yet apologizing for the trouble as you’re gonna make him late for work

୨୧ and he’s denying any negative comments coming out your mouth saying that he technically is at work as helping people is his job and he wouldn’t be a good hero if he didn’t help someone right in front of him

୨୧ he tells you to take as long as you need getting washed up and getting the temperature back in your body

୨୧ he doesn’t have time to think about how you’re just a few feet and a closed bathroom door away from him, naked ~ as he picks out the smallest pieces of clothing he has in his closet

୨୧ he finds an old t-shirt and shorts from his high school days and lays them on his bed telling you through the door that when you’re done he has clothes waiting for you

୨୧ you don’t take too long getting washed up as you know he needs to get to work so only about 10 minutes later you’re walking into the living to izuku sitting on the couch watching the movie his kid wanted to put on

୨୧ he sees you come in from his peripherals as his heart damn near stops seeing you in his clothes

୨୧ the clothes were so small they couldn’t fit him any longer, not after getting a post-high school growth spurt and getting broader due to his hero work

୨୧ but the fact that his already small clothes were swallowing you just did something to him

୨୧ blame it on his size kink he don’t know he has quite yet

୨୧ he pulls himself together to tell you that he threw your soiled clothes in the wash before he says his good byes to his kiddo

୨୧ he’s heading out the door while you and his son are telling him to be safe out there when just as he’s about to leave you call out to him

୨୧ he’s turning around maybe a lil too fast, but he sees you with an umbrella in your hand telling him that you ‘wouldn’t want him to make the same mistake you did’ with a cute bashful smile on your face that almost made him call in sick to work

୨୧ but he knew he couldn’t do that

୨୧ screw being number one hero and all that

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

୨୧ a few weeks later he comes home from work, tired af as one would

୨୧ but he gets to the door and sees you and his kiddo waiting for him inside

୨୧ you have a cake in your hands and his little one pops one of those little confetti canons at his father with a loud “happy birthday”

୨୧ he’s a lil shocked, a lil surprised, but in a good way

୨୧ he looks at you

୨୧ “well kiddo told me it was your birthday and with a quick little google search i confirmed it to be true. and i felt bad that you had to work on your birthday so we decided to bake you a cake while you were gone and wait for you to get home.” you said softly

୨୧ he had totally forgotten it was his birthday but if it being his birthday meant that he could see you in a little apron waiting for him to come in the door …

୨୧ damn he wished it was his birthday everyday

୨୧ y’all move into the kitchen to start cutting the cake and as you’re plating slices you lean down to the little one and tell him to ‘go get the birthday card he made for daddy’

୨୧ and izuku who wasn’t quite paying attention is like “hmm?” and you just like look at him

୨୧ and he’s like, “oh i thought- you were calling for me-“

୨୧ and you’re like mf, i don’t call you daddy yet

୨୧ but yall just kinda like awkwardly get past it and move on when the child comes running in with his folded construction paper with a green stick figure on the front labeled ‘dad’

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

୨୧ it all leads up to the day about a month later when you arrive at their home to no sign of the kid

୨୧ and you’re like ~ wtf? he always comes to greet me at the door with a hug and he’s not doing that

୨୧ and you’re looking in the kitchen and the living room to see no sign of the child

୨୧ when you’re about to head into his room to see if he somehow decided to sleep in today, izuku comes out his room

୨୧ and you’re like, where’s the kid?

୨୧ and he’s like, oh, i meant to tell you that my mom came by just a few minutes ago and decided to take him out for the day

୨୧ so you’re like, okay, should i just go home then?

୨୧ and he’s like, you could but i just so happen to have the day off and i think it would be nice if we got to spend some time together, without the kid around

୨୧ and you’re like, what am i gonna do ?? say no ?!

୨୧ so y’all go out for coffee, take a walk around the park, and then go out for lunch before going back to his house to watch like a movie or whatever

୨୧ y’all get back home and he sits on the couch scrolling through streaming sites looking for a movie and you’re coming back from the bathroom

୨୧ when you’re walking to the couch, your foot catches one of the kid’s toys that was lying on the floor causing you to trip and stumble forward

୨୧ izuku moves to catch you causing you to fall into his chest and practically on top his lap

୨୧ you’re out of breath from the sudden adrenaline spike but the close proximity between the two of you isn’t making it any easier to catch said breath

୨୧ neither of y’all are moving, just staring into each others eyes as he quietly asks “are you alright?”

୨୧ his warm breath dancing across your face as you give him a light nod

୨୧ his eyes suddenly move to your lips and out of his mouth comes the words you thought you’d never hear

୨୧ “can i kiss you?��

୨୧ and with a split glance to his lips you’re nodding fervently

୨୧ not soon enough his lips are on yours : plump, warm, and soft ~ tasting of the coffee and the mint gum he chewed after lunch

୨୧ you two pull apart reluctantly but he sets his forehead against yours as he catches his breath

୨୧ “please tell me you feel the same way for me as i do for you?” he whispers

୨୧ you bite your lip, “and how do you feel about me?”

୨୧ “like i want to hold you. kiss you. and come home to you everyday. not just as a babysitter.”

୨୧ “is that all?” you ask

୨୧ “i have a few other things i feel about you but i think it’s too early to tell you.”

୨୧ you link your arms around his neck and play with the stubble of emerald that is his undercut, “i wanna know.” you whisper.

୨୧ he’s like, are you sure…. you won’t think it’s inappropriate ?

୨୧ and you reassure him cuz little does he know of the countless nights you laid with your hand between your thighs imagining it was him getting you off

୨୧ “well uh- i-i really wanna fuck you.” he quietly admits

୨୧ you readjust your position to straddle his lap, your legs on either side of his thighs

୨୧ “how?” you ask

୨୧ “how what?” he replies as he tentatively places his hands lightly on your waist

୨୧ “how,” you start, leaning down to ghost your lips atop his, “do you wanna fuck me?”

୨୧ his breath stutters, something about those words coming out of your mouth

୨୧ he’s quiet for longer than you would like, “c’mon tell me” you whine, moving your lips from his mouth, down his jaw, and along his neck

୨୧ his breath quickens, soon letting out a low groan when you stumble upon his sweet spot

୨୧ you pull away causing him to almost whine, “start talking ~ tell me how you wanna fuck me.”

୨୧ “well f-first i wanna kiss all over you. your cheeks. your neck. your hands. i w-wanna feel your warm soft skin under my lips.”

୨୧ he pauses a bit but you urge him to continue

୨୧ “i wanna play with your tits. i wanna suck on your nipples. i’ve wanted to ever since you came in soaked by the rain that day.”

୨୧ as he gets more confident, his voice gets deeper, raspier, laced with lust

୨୧ “i wanna kiss all the way down your body until i reach that sweet pussy of yours, i’ve been dying to get a taste.

୨୧ you let out a low moan into his collar bone, “and then what?”

୨୧ “then after i’ve made you come on my tongue a few times, i wanna stuff you full of my cock. not stopping until i breed you. gave you a baby of your own since you’re so perfect with kiddo already.”

୨୧ “i wanna make you a mommy.”

୨୧ you gasp, your breaths coming out in short hurried puffs as you come up from sucking on his neck

୨୧ “so why don’t you?”

୨୧ he’s frozen

୨୧ “why don’t you fuck your child in me, daddy?”

୨୧ and just like that whatever submissive izuku moment you had going on, is gone

୨୧ he’s on top of you in seconds, squishing you into the couch cushions beneath you as he does just what he said he would do, and then some

yoooooo, happy belated birthday to the actual love of my life. i cried like three times over him yesterday. i hope he’s doing good.

also i’m not gonna sit here & pretend i know anything about how the japanese choose to name their offspring so that’s why kiddo is nameless

[i-need-air]

Meeting small Hawks.

Pairing: Hawks x Reader.

Summary: HCs about what would happen if you're sent in the past (thanks to a villain quirk) with Hawks and meet tiny Hawks.

Notes: Love the "Their kid came from the future because of this quirk thingy and now they meet their daddas" so I thought what would it be if we reversed it. Hope you enjoy! ♥

× you coincidentally ran into each other (which happened often) when you were both patrolling

× he's always so smug and flirty with you but today he was extra about it

× like holy shit this man knows how to compliment but whatever, no big deal

× the thing is you're just at the point where you kinda lowkey are realizing you have feelings for this smug idiot but you're also kinda denying it because Hawks screams trouble, also you don't trust him; does he flirt like this with anyone??? why is he teasing you so much????? he's too hot to be real???????

× he was praising you because you reached Top 20s when someone screamed for help

× a young kid recognized you both and told you that there's a robbery he escaped from, explaining there are some guys at a jewelry store near-by so y'all just rush there

× well you kinda fell behind cuz he's like already in front of the store talking to the masked robbers like they're just chatting about the weather, although he was just negotiating and telling them casually to let the employees and the civilians inside the store out

× so when he sees you tho, he winks at you and in a blink the robbers were on the ground

× so you just alright then fucking show off 😒 because he waited for you to see him be a little shit

× so while everything is settling, you both going inside the store to check on everyone, he twists his head fastly towards you then rushes to your frame, grabbing you while you turn just in time to see another masked robber (seems he was hiding) that was about to touch your shoulder. although Hawks pulled you to him just in time, so he was barely tapped on the cheek instead of you

× and then you see white

× so when you can finally see again around you, a sensation of dizziness running through your body, you notice Hawks hugging you like really, really tight

× also... did the villain teleport you? both of you were in what seemed a random office building or sumthn

× he brushes it off but you can see that he's worried because y'all fucked up man

× he's scolding himself, he should've paid more attention but you were there, existing, so stunning and the way you rolled your eyes at him? gorgeous, like pls do it again he's a simp for u & now he's paying the price for it like boy–

× anywho! he looked around and sent some feathers to just map the place while you were trying to figure out wth was going on

× meanwhile Hawks was just noticing stuff; he knew these halls, he knew that three doors from there, he'd take Hero History class, he knew the floor below them was a training ground, he knew the door just behind them was where he–

× so you were confusion to say at least, looking at the plain white walls, searching for something, anything actually

× doors had signs on them but very vague, like that one door with the letter K on it, the others labeled C1, C2 and C3, everything spotless and dead looking

× "Sorry, dove, hate to interrupt that cute and intense thinking face of yours but we have to bolt" he said, pointing at the cameras

× so y'all just hide, you thinking without purpose but he was actually leading you somewhere, that somewhere being a floor below

× "we've been seen here and we shouldn't be" or more likely this place should have been destroyed years ago he thought but dreaded the thought of the Commission finding another kid like him

× you question where you're going but he just smirks at you

× there's no people anyway but you avoid places where cameras are pointing at so it makes you feel suspish, but you trust #2 Hero's judgment; he was #2 for a reason, right?

× you reach a door with a sign saying Surveillance and you ooooooooh real smooth for a second, big bird brain there

× and he has no difficulty unlocking it with two of his feathers (him winking at you again, show off pt. 2)

× you're basically ordered to look-out mainly cuz he didn't want you to catch a glimpse at the cameras; if the commission was doing this again, it should be Top Secret

× but what he doesn't fucking expect is to see you on the screen, legit full in the middle of the camera view (pls he cries inside why did u guys avoid all the cams–) and a tiny frame approaching you

× mainly same energy as And I OOP– plus moment of realization

× back to you: looking around super-sneaky until you hear a noise and you decide to explore around the corner but when you find nothing you turn around

× "Uhm, who are you?" you hear a tiny voice behind you and you jump in place because holy shit it was so quiet and now someone's there and you almost die of a heart attack

× turning around, ready to fight, you just find a tiny human being

× adorable human being with... weird similar eye-markings like Hawks and tiny, fluffy, adorable red wings

× you die in the spot cuz???????? adorable child cosplaying the guy you like?????????????? wait what? like? uhm bad brain bad

× so you just crouch down to his height and smile at the baby while he looks at you with big confused yellow eyes that are waaaaay too similar to Hawks'; and that freaks you out, did the mf have a love child or something because they're copy-paste

× "Are you my new teacher?" he asked again, small smile on his features and hnnnggg ♥

× but you shake your head, telling him you're just passing by

× he looks a lil disappointed but nods, fidgeting with the Endeavor in his hands, to which you laugh quietly

× "so you're a Hawks fan I see?"

× he blinks at you, golden eyes wide with confusion and he asks "who?" and u OOP–

× the kid knows who Endeavor is or at least has a plushie of him but is cosplaying as Hawks and never heard of him like??? unless??????? you calm yourself and chill because maybe he didn't know who Endeavor is and he thought it was a random toy and the cosplaying you had no actual excuse for but even worse when he just:

× "but I am a big fan of Endeavor, see?" he said, small excitement coming from him, toy still in his hands now raised in front of your vision, smol chubby hands hounding it safely but proudly

× hnnnngggg ♥ ♥

× "what's your name, little angel?" you ask him as you really try to connect the dots here

× "I'm Takami Keigo and I just moved here" he smiled at you so softly "I'm here to become a hero like Endeavor"

× you'd have to search for Hawks now because this was very, very suspicious but for now you just loved the little kid, deciding you wanted one (maybe you should snatch him 👀)

× and talking about your favorite winged hero, he was having a mental breakdown in the Surveillance room, no biggie; he figured it out while looking at the rooms on the screens, specially the training area, and then at his mini-self talking to you

× so he sends some feathers to you to drag you back to him discreetly

× nothing can be discreet with you because as you were telling smol Keigo that he's gonna be the best hero ever and so on, a feather tapped you on the back and you just screech cuz WHO DAT, you turn to see the feather and feel your soul coming back into your body

× but tiny Keigo sees it too and he's thrilled because look look i can do that too! but with smol feathers and your soul just departs from your person yet again

× because that ain't a cosplay

× that is Hawks.

× while you stop functioning as way-too-adorable-baby-Hawks uses his feathers lift the Endeavor toy to your hands, you just take it and stare

× "did you like it?" golden eyes shining proudly at you; hnnnggggg ♥️♥️♥️

× snapping out of it, you compliment him telling him he's the coolest while taking the toy from him and try to catch one of his feathers jokingly, making him do a cute giggle

× and Keigo, this time big boy Keigo is waiting behind the corner because he really doesn't want to be seen by himself? one feather waiting on the key set to delete all video footage, prepared to bolt the shit out of there yet... he was just waiting for something, not even knowing what himself

× yet he knew as you made mini-him (?) (he's still having an existencial crisis) laugh again his heart squeezes, but he doesn't have time to savor it anymore

× "Keigo, where did you go?" a male voice startled the 3 of you and you p a n i c™

× but not as much as big Hawks tho, he sends all his feathers to drag you away instantly

× the last image on smol baby Hawks is him being startled as he tried to reach for you as you were forcefully yanked away, a suited up man appearing, catching a glimpse of you for a second then alarms blowing everywhere

× Hawks had it all planned as he yanked you to his body, rushing towards an opened window, commanding his feather to delete the security footage and going back to him

× and when he jumped, you in his arms, you saw white again

× you both appear in the same location that you vanished from, just in the middle of the jewelry store as cops were walking around, secluding the zone

× Congrats, you gave the cops a frighten; good times 💕

× so you're in his arms (a g a i n but nobody's complaining 👀)

× and he just smiles down at you so tenderly you almost shiver in place, never seeing that face on him before and it makes you feel Things™, he just runs his hand on your shoulder blade as he wraps his wings closer to you two, cops just startled and confused but none of you cared

× you wanted to touch his cheek as you're finally embracing your feelings after what just happened

× you're looking at Takami Keigo

× so you move your hand and something falls out of your embrace, since y'all are high on adrenaline it spooks the f outta both

× looking at your side you see the Endeavor toy, a small, fluffy feather stuck in its small toy belt

× and you panic because yOu basically just fucking stole a toy from a little kid and you're about to tear up and he just looks at you with his brows raised cuz my boy wasn't expecting that

× "Hey, hey, it's okay" he says through a chuckle, stop being so adorable

× but no it's not okay? the smol baby loved Endeavor and you took the toy and you keep calling mini-keigo smol baby and Hawks' heart is playing heavy metal in his chest and he has this goofy stupid adorable smile on his face and

× he leans down to kiss you

× soft, sweet, he breathes you in yet keeps the smile on his lips

× "Mini-me didn't mind, I'm sure" (white lies, white lies)

× but you, all flustered, just panic again because AAAAA and you just give him the toy, telling him you're some years later but it's his to which he sees ✨ ✨ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ✨ ✨ in his mind around you while you ramble and talk and blush and oh god he loves you– wait what.

× "Well, little dove, I think I have some explaining to do" he whispered above your lips, taking in your flushed face (was living for the moment ngl) "How about we talk about it while we grab lunch? Hmm?"

× "I'd like that, Hawks."

× "Oh, when we're alone, you know what to call me." he whispered in your ear then turned to the police officers that just witnessed everything...

× wait, is that a crowd of people outside with their phones out?

× oh fu–

Look at this smol babey! LOOK!

Art is made by the amazing @kadeart, I'm surprised I found out about them just now, they're amazingly talented. Check out all their stuff!

[acrispyapple]

Harr Silvers’s Route Outline

in anna’s lazy way of making random notes per chapter. will prolly need more editing but i’ll do it another day~ ☆

both ends included now + special appearance of edgar in an alice wig!

Chapter 1 Alice is staying with the black army. Sirius and Seth take her to the market. While looking at a wanted poster of Harr, she loses sight of them. Alice is lost, and drunken men approach her. Harr and Loki come to rescue her.

Chapter 2 While taking Alice back to Sirius and Seth, Harr advises Alice to stay hidden somewhere no one knows about until the next full moon. Sirius finds them and they head back to the black army base. That night there’s an explosion. Ray tells Alice to stay in her room. She finds out that she’s the target of the attack. Loki shows up via the window in her room. She leaves a message for the black army as Loki takes her to the Forbidden Forest (Harr’s house).

Chapter 3 Harr prepares Alice‘s room. It was a room used for storage originally. He cleans it up with magic. The next morning, Alice is about to change her nightgown, Harr opens the room while carrying a lot of books. (He forgot Alice is now using his old storage room) He shuts the door and says sorry . Harr leaves the house. Alice looks for Harr. He’s fishing at the lake. Loki’s out selling the magic crystals Harr created.

Chapter 4 Harr finishes fishing and goes back home with Alice. He cooks. Loki also arrives. They all have a nice lunch together. Alice wonders who tried to attack her. Harr says it’s from magic tower, probably. He explains stuff about the magic tower.

That night Harr goes out. By the next morning, he has not returned. Alice and Loki have breakfast.

Harr comes home that evening. Alice says ‘welcome home‘ and gazes at him intently. (Loki‘s plan to check whether Harr gets embarrassed or not) He gets embarrassed and blushes. Alice feels it’s cute.

Chapter 5 At the magic tower, they notice that Alice is not with the black army anymore. They start searching for Alice. Dalim seems to know who’s hiding Alice, because their ‘finding magic’ was blocked by a strong special magic. This magic is rare, and he knows only Harr can use it.

While Alice is cooking soup, she finds a small bottle with a label that says ‘drink me’ among the seasoning bottles. She tries it. (alice why are you like this) It’s delicious, so she decides to use it in the soup to add a subtle flavor. After she drinks tho, her body shrinks~ (alice i thought you read the alice in wonderland book) She wants to go to Harr‘s room to ask for help, but it’s like a mile away with her tiny body. Harr’s owl (named Sue) is flying around, so Alice yells for Sue to take her to Harr’s room. Sue takes small Alice to Harr‘s room. Harr breaks the magic, and Alice returns to her normal size-- but she’s naked... Harr is embarrassed. While Alice is putting her clothes on in a hurry, Loki comes home. Loki misunderstands the situation, but they explain.

Chapter 6 Alice wants to do something for Harr as a present. She’s going to make a cake. (Loki ‘s advice) She plans on going out alone to get fruits. Loki worries about her and warns her not to go too far. She promised she wouldn’t. She heads to a fruit tree. She kind of hears something in the distance. After she’s gathered enough fruits, a gust of wind blows and hooded magic tower guys appear. Dalim says that it’s good Alice went beyond the barrier border. Harr apparently cast a protection magic around the house, but Alice went past it. Dalim tries to take her to the magic tower. Alice blocks his magic. She’s captured anyway. Suddenly something flashes and she gets freed. Harr and Loki arrive to rescue her. Loki takes Alice back home using magic. Harr stays in the forest to fight against the magic tower guys.

Chapter 7 Harr casts a spell and makes a line. He says no one can go beyond the line. Dalim is doubtful and still says they’ll try. Dalim and the other scholars gather magic crystals. It causes a blast and but nothing happens. The spell is too powerful. Harr says quietly, Mr Dalim, I don’t want to make injure anyone. Dalim says, So give me Alice before someone gets injured. Harr refuses. His eyes turn red again and black water appears from the line. It’s like thunder, it’s clear that if anyone touches the water, they’ll get hurt terribly. Dalim gives up and leaves.

Harr comes home and Alice is relieved. She apologizes but Harr says it’s okay. The problem is they know where Alice is now. He fixes the barriers around the house. He gives Loki a key to use for when he needs to leave and go to town. The spell is only dispellable by the person whose magic is just as powerful as Harr’s. (lancelot, anyone?) Alice asks who would have such a power. There’s only one apparently. Harr looks exhausted, he says he’s going to take a rest without dinner. Alice worries again but Loki says it’s because he used magic, so it’s no biggie. Loki explains the magic and consumption relationship. Alice is shocked because they’ve used magic for her several times.

Around midnight she still can’t sleep, so she goes to the kitchen to get some water. She finds Harr sitting there.

Chapter 8 Harr’s not wearing his mask. There’s a scar around his eye. She says hello, and he puts the mask back on. He’s making a fishing rod for Alice. He says she doesn’t need to stay inside the house all the time. She can go fishing. The lake area is safe. He makes hot chocolate and says he’s going to continue work. He’s creating magic crystals. After she drinks it, he gives her a piece of candy. Loki also wakes up. He can’t sleep either, so he suggested that he and Alice sleep together. Harr isn’t on board but Loki gets him to join them. Loki says they’re like a family.

~magical bed that suddenly becomes big enough for 3 people, when it used to look like a single bed~

Chapter 9 Loki whispers to Harr, I want Alice to have a great time until she has to go back to London because Alice is a good girl.

At the magic tower, Amon is furious after learning about Alice’s current location. Amon gives an order to Dalim, “Call him, he can take care of Harr.”

The next morning, Harr’s already gone when Alice wakes up. After breakfast, Alice and Loki go fishing. Alice doesn’t catch anything~

Around the evening, Harr still isn’t back. They get a letter from Sue saying Harr will be home late.

Chapter 10 Loki suggests Alice goes shopping with him in Central. Alice hesitates but Loki says he has something that’ll help. The next day, Alice wears a hat that makes her invisible. Alice sees Sirius and engages. Sirius can’t see Alice but he can hear her. He says Harr will protect her until the next full moon for sure. Sirius explains that they’re old friends. After shopping, Loki takes Alice to Blanc’s house. Oliver apparently made the hat. Blanc gives her an invitation card for a masquerade. The party is attended by both the black and red armies. Alice tries to refuse, but Blanc says the magic tower people can’t go to the party so she should be okay.

They get back to the house and Harr is waiting outside all angry. They explain stuff to him and mention the masquerade. Loki says Harr has to take Alice since he has another appointment and can’t go himself. Loki wants Alice to make great memories in Cradle. Harr accepts reluctantly. Blanc sends a dress and some accessories. Alice and Harr head to the party.

Chapter 11 At the party, Alice and Harr dance, then go to the balcony after. Alice asks Harr to show her his face without his mask. Harr asks if she’s drunk. She says maybe, and goes to get a glass of water. Loki appears on the balcony and tells Harr off. Harr is surprised that Loki made him and Alice go to the party together intentionally.

Chapter 12 All three of them are back home. Harr visits Loki’s room and says it might be difficult for them to live safely since the magic tower won’t leave them alone. So he needs to do something. He asks Loki to protect Alice no matter what. Loki readily agrees, then asks what Harr is going to do. Harr doesn’t answer.

The next day, Alice is baking. While she’s putting the cake in the oven, someone knocks on the door. Loki nor Harr don’t usually come home at that hour, so Alice feels wary. Alice remembers Harr saying only one person can break the barrier. Alice looks out the window and sees Lancelot standing there.

Chapter 13 Alice doesn’t open the door and stands still. Lancelot says he knows she’s there, and if she doesn’t open the door, he will open it by force. Alice lets Lancelot in. Alice says the owner of the house is out, so Lancelot should come by another time. Lancelot says he came by to take Alice. Lancelot’s eyes turn red but Alice blocks the magic. Harr arrives and asks why Lancelot is there. Harr says he won’t hand over Alice. Lancelot says he’ll just have to take Alice away himself. Lancelot and Harr’s eyes turn red. Sirius suddenly arrives. Harr is surprised to see him because no one else can go through his barrier but Lancelot. Sirius says the two of them should talk and listen-- not fight. He also said this same line 7 years ago. The tense situation is sort of diffused when they hear a timer go off. Alice says the cake is ready and invites them to a tea break.

Chapter 14 Alice serves them cake and tea at the table. Only Sirius talks about their school life, Lancelot and Harr are both quiet. Sirius asks what happened to the two of them 7 years ago. Harr says Lancelot betrayed him. Lancelot says he hasn’t changed a bit from 7 years ago. He declares a war in 7 days, and that he would get Alice by then. He tells them his condition for him to give up on Alice. Harr says he won’t let Alice go, while Sirius says he’ll protect her with the black army.

Chapter 15 Harr eats the cake Alice made. Alice asks him again to show his face without a mask. Harr obliges. He says he can’t see from his left eye. He starts telling her about his past. He was at the magic tower for a while, and he discovered their dark secrets. He injured his left eye while trying to leave the tower.

Chapter 16 Dalim is informed that Lancelot wasn’t able to get Alice because Sirius turned up. Someone told Sirius about the whole thing. It was actually Dalim, he didn’t want Lancelot and Harr to fight there.

Back in the forbidden forest, Loki is briefed about what happened during the day. Alice asks Loki why he lives with Harr. Loki talks about his past, and how when he tried to escape the magic tower, Harr protected him. (Harr also helped his owl Sue with something else) Harr regrets not being able to save a person who was running away from the magic tower (Zero), so he promised he would protect Loki.

Chapter 17 Loki says Harr is doing something with his magic secretly, that’s why he’s so tired. They want to help Harr but they know they’ll get turned down, so Loki makes a plan to get involved another way. Alice asks Harr on a date. This is Loki’s plan.

Chapter 18 They go out on a ‘date’. Just walking around the lake. Alice insists Harr stop using magic. She worries about it consuming his life. He gives her a necklace and says it’s a charm. Alice realizes she loves Harr.

Chapter 19 Lance is at magic tower. Amon gives him lots of magic crystals. He orders Lance to kill Harr.

The next morning, Sue brings the newspaper. It says the red army will go to war in 5 days. Harr says he’s going fishing. Alice feels weird, because he always goes fishing in the evening.

That night, Harr returns and prepares a gorgeous dinner. Alice and Loki feel something is off with Harr.

Around midnight, Alice hears something. It’s Loki trying to stop Harr from going to the magic tower to fight alone. Harr casts a spell on Loki and Alice, and they both fall asleep.

Chapter 20 Loki sees the necklace Harr gave Alice and says it’s a trump card. Harr was researching rechargeable magic crystals at the tower. The necklace Alice has is the eternal magic crystal. They can cope with tons of magic attacks using the tiny necklace. They head to the magic tower to support Harr. Near the tower, they see Zero.

Chapter 21 Zero says he followed Lancelot. They hear a siren buzzing from the tower. The alarms is for when someone enters or escapes the tower. They try to get into the tower only to be met by Dalim. He welcomes Loki and Zero back. He says Lancelot and Harr are in the hall above. Zero is confused when Dalim says Loki, Zero, and Alice are the three people Harr tried to protect from the tower. Dalim just says Zero’s memory has vanished. Dalim lets them go past him. He assures them he’s their enemy, but their goal is the same. At the hall, Amon orders Lance to kill Harr.

Chapter 22 Alice, Loki, and Zero see Harr and Lance battling with magic. It looks like a fierce battle, with their clothes torn and all, but they were not injured. Harr suddenly stops fighting and realizes something. Lance’s eyes turn back to normal. Amon urges Lance to use the magic crystals. They notice the arrival of Alice and the others. Amon orders Lance to kill all of them but Alice. Lance attacks Amon instead. Amon calls for backup to attack Lance with their new crystals that are made from human experiments. Lance uses too much magic to block it and is left a bit weak. Harr protects Lance. Dalim realizes Harr is using his eternal magic crystals, and that he continued his research all this time.

Chapter 23 Amon orders to use all of their magic crystals, but there’s none left. It was mostly given to the red army for the war. Harr steps towards Amon, but he teleports away. Harr thinks he went to the ruins where he stores magic crystals. Harr asks Loki and Lance to make a protective barrier around the ruins to prevent damage if the magic crystals inside explode. Harr goes after Amon alone. Lance faces Dalim and the magic tower goons.

Chapter 24 Dalim says if the ruins explode, the magic tower would be affected the most. He orders the tower scholars to protect the tower with magic using whatever they have. Lance goes back to the red army and makes a protective barrier around the territory. Zero informs the citizens to escape. Loki alerts the black army. Alice tells Dalim she can help protect the tower. A big blast comes from the forest, and a strong shock wave hits the barrier. Alice tries her best to block it but she’s at her limit. Her necklace flashes and a strong light covers them.

Due to the blast, the ruins have disappeared. The shock wave destroyed the protective wall of the tower, but the power of the necklace stopped the attack. Alice faints. When Alice wakes up, Loki briefs her about the outcome. There were some damaged areas, but the citizens are safe. The red army has stopped the war. Amon and Harr are missing.

Chapter 25 Loki and Sue are with Alice. Loki says he promised Harr he’d protect her until her return to London. They miss Harr, but still believe he’ll return. 3 more days until the full moon. Dalim visits Alice with big news about the tower she helped protect. Amon is gone, so they have a new leader. From then on, the normal distribution of magic crystals will start. He thanks Alice and promises not to go after her anymore. Alice asks who the new leader is. Dalim just says he’s a supporter of that person. He wishes her a safe return to London. Alice says she’ll wait for Harr‘s return.

Later she hears someone coming, she thinks it’s Loki coming back home. It’s actually Harr. He says he’s home and smiles, then they embrace. Loki comes back and is surprised to see Harr. Harr explains what happened in the battle with Amon. He detonated the magic crystals then teleported to another country. He used too much magic so he was incapacitated for a while. Loki goes out to tell everyone the news. Alice confesses to Harr. He thanks her and says he wasn’t planning on coming home originally because he might not let her go if he did. He thinks it’s better for her to be in London. But he heard she was waiting for him, so he decided to return. He says he loves her and kisses her. 1 day before the full moon.

Chapter 26 Harr says he became the new leader of the magic tower. Dalim forced the delegation on him.

At the garden, Blanc, the red army, and black army are gathered. Harr, Lancelot, and Sirius are united. Zero thanks Harr.

Harr is selected as a new leader of the magic tower officially. Harr goes to the spot where Alice fell down from London. Alice follows him, they reminisce, etc and they kiss.

On the day of the full moon, Harr takes Alice to the garden again. Alice is about to step into the light leading to London but Harr calls out to her. He says he doesn’t want to lose her and that she should stay with him. Alice throws her bags down and runs to Harr to embrace him.

愛され Romantic End

Harr embraces her tightly and kisses her. He slips some tongue in, and Alice bites it. (≖‿≖) Harr is surprised, Alice says it was sudden. They went home hand in hand. [insert sexy timez] (i don’t feel comfy describing scenes like this, i can only make jokes about it)

Normal days returned. Loki says they’re like a normal family. Loki goes out to sell magic crystals while Harr goes to work at the tower. Alice makes dinner. Loki says he’s not coming home that night and that they can enjoy alone time.

[more sexy timez] (//▽//)

END.

愛する Dramatic End

Harr insists that Alice return to London just this once. He says he wants to live together forever in Cradle so he wants her to go and settle her affairs in London -- work, friends, family etc. Alice goes back~

Several days until the next full moon...

At the magic tower, Harr is spacing out. Darim says he's also looking forward to Alice's return because he likes her. Harr frowns and Darim says he's just joking.

...

At Harr’s house, Lancelot and Sirius are hanging out. They've started having frequent tea parties. Sirius and Lancelot are also awaiting Alice's return. Harr gets jealous.

...

On the day of the full moon, Harr catches Alice as she falls from the sky. They decide to go to the lake first before going back to house. He proposes to her. Alice promises eternal love. They kiss.

...

Back at the house in Alice's room, she notices it's as clean and tidy as she left it a month ago. They get to the bed, where they embrace and start the sexy timez~ (¯▿¯)

END. (edgar in an ‘alice wig’ makes another appearance!)

Extra:

I really like how Harr’s other hand is bandaged. ¯\(°_o)/¯

[zinsbundles]

[ 2:25 p.m. ]

changbin sat infront of a smiling you. too focused on your phone, you didn't even feel the presence of someone who just arrived. with a raised brow, he quickly snatched your phone earning a surprised expression from you.

"yes, hello to you too, binbin." , you rolled your eyes before grabbing your phone, failing as changbin leaned back.

"yep. so, what are you busy about? not even feeling the presence of your best friend??" , he fumbled with your phone, inputting your password.

"i gave you my password for emergencies. not for snooping around, bin." , you whined.

but changbin was too surprised to care. there before him, was the instagram account of his cousin: lee minho.

"are you... stalking minho-hyung?" , he asked. you looked down, face heating up. you never thought you'd get caught.

changbin swallowed hard, a fake smile on his lips.

"do you want me to help you?"

you shot your head up, hope filling your eyes. "you'd do that for me?"

"yeah. it's no biggie tho. plus, minho-hyung keeps telling me how much he wants a girlfriend. you guys met a couple of times, right? then i assure you everything would progress smoothly." , he smiled. what is he saying? he doesn't know. maybe because he had long accepted it. changbin wasn't dumb. he can see how much you would glance at his cousin ever so often during small get togethers. how his cousin would perk up every time he would mention your name. changbin, ever since the beggining, already knew he had no chance.

"changbin? you were spacing out?" , you nudged your best friend a bit

"i wasn't. just devising a plan. so, why did you call me here?"

"right, it's about chemistry."

everytime, ever since... when it comes to minho, he knew he already lost.

• zin's blurbs

[rainywritingsx]

Could I please have a dabi x pregnant reader and they go over baby names for their twin girls💞😄 what if she was the sweetest thing that would chew you a new ass!

this idea is the c u t e s t. I live for soft dabi uwu. My apologies if it’s a little out of character, I’m still getting used to writing for dabi. I hope you enjoy it tho! ^^

xxx rainbow

* okay so

* Domestic Dabi? Soft

* Domestic Dabi picking baby names? Softer

* Domestic Dabi picking baby names with his oh so sweet wife? S o f e s t

* I feel like with his Uh, not so peaceful he’d have to settle down before he even proposed to his partner

* You two probably live in a small city in a lovely house that’s not huge, but cozy and big enough for you guys

* And when he hears you’re pregnant this guy couldn’t be happier

* He’d probably tell his siblings, y e s I go with the Dabi is a todoroki theory

* He’d also tell his mom

* But endeavor... eh...

* ANYWAY

* Hes over the moon

* Will try to have his cool guy facade tho

* “Yea im gonna be a dad. No biggie”

* We all know you’re over the moon, dude

* And picking names oh boooyyy

* Dabi probably hadn’t even thought of marriage during his life as a villain

* But he’s just so excited that a ton of names pop up

* “What about y/n junior and y/n number 2?”

* “Dabi!!”

* “What?”

* Lol sorry I feel like he might joke around from time to time

* He wouldn’t say it, but this guy will look anywhere for baby names

* He might even have a little notebook where he writes down names if something pops up

* And then, when you two look together he’ll give a name and act as if it just popped up

* “Yeah I’m a genius.”

* Actually Toga finds out about this and tells you so no Dabi, you’re not that smart lmfao

* but you being the cutie pie you are would probably pretend not to know just to see the small smirk that appears when he feels like the most awesome guy ever

* I’m sorry I feel like this seems so ooc but I genuinely think Dabi will only think about once he’s all settled down and changed as a person

* Anyway, no matter the names, he will treat your girls like princesses and be the best dad uwu

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #305

“you want me to be yours, well then you’ve got to be mine, & if you want a good girl, then goodbye”

Do you call the ice cream topping "jimmies" or "sprinkles"? They're "sprinkles" down here. What music are you listening to? Ha, I just turned on music before starting this. "Sex Metal Barbie" by In This Moment is on rn. If you go to school (HS or college) does your school have a rival? N/A Have you been baptized in any religious tradition? Yeah; I was born in a Roman Catholic family. My mom's mom would've probably had a heart attack if us kids weren't. At family gatherings, are you more likely to hang out with the younger or older relatives? I mean, I'd go for those my age or older, generally. I'd hang out with kids though if they wanted me to. Considering you current health, how long do you think you will live? With my CURRENT health, probably not even 80. Do you have anything in your room that would be 'weird' to others? Posters, yeah. Have you ever done geocaching? No, but it'd be cool if my body could actually handle taking a single goddamn step. What was the last game you won? Maybe Uno with my niece? I generally let her win, but occasionally I'm "lucky" to TRY to be more convincing, lol. I think she knows I let her, though. Do you know any deaf people? If so, is it easy or difficult to have conversations with them? No. Do you enjoy playing Monopoly? Why or why not? No, because I don't like board games, especially any that involve math. Is there a doorknocker on your front door? No. Do 'laugh tracks' on TV shows annoy you? They're so normal that I don't even notice them, really. Do people often mistake you for other ethnicities? If so, what do you usually get? No, I'm pretty obviously white. Has anyone famous ever attended your school? Who? I won't say his name for the sake of not connecting dots, but a well-known football player attended my high school. Have you ever had to attend an event that occurred on your birthday? Ha, my 16th birthday landed on the Super Bowl... I was at Jason's that night, and just to be "part of the family," we watched it with everyone else that came over. I was so bored and uninterested, but that's my own fault, really. I could have said something, but this was only a month into our relationship so I was too uncomfortable to speak up. What do you think makes a girl a slut? Do you believe that label is thrown around far more often than it should be? And finally, do you think it's unfair that mostly only women receive that label? I don't give a flying fuck how many people a girl is sexually involved with so long as she is safe and open and honest with her partners. I'm not a fan of the word and don't think anyone should be called it. Do you think it's bad to have sex at 15 or younger? I don't think it's smart, really. It's just too young to risk pregnancy. Yes, abortion is an option, but like... a 15 y/o girl should never be faced with that dilemma. I'ma be real tho, I don't think it's a "good" idea until you're at least 18, aaaand I don't know any non-virgin who waited that long. Just try your best to wait, ig. Favorite love song at the moment? Love songs never sit well with me anymore. I mean I can enjoy them, absolutely, I just... have a lot of bitterness. Trying to pick a favorite when you feel like that is like trying to pick the best-looking rotten apple of the bunch. Ever wondered what it would be like dating the same gender as you? I've done that already, and it was great but also scary in a massively homophobic state. Ever paid for sex? No. During thunderstorms, how does your pet react? Neither have a unique reaction; they're unfazed. What internet browser do you use? Google Chrome. Do you like eggnog? Noooo no no. How often do you see your mother? Every day, because I live with her. Do you like croutons in your salad? No, I really don't like the texture difference. Who did you last play truth or dare with? I don't know. Have you ever brewed your own mead, wine, beer or soda? No. Have you had to make any changes in your life lately? If so, what kind of changes? ugh What's the earliest popular thing you can remember from your childhood? Ummm. I mean, probably like Barney or Elmo? Do you prefer practicality or fashionability when it comes to clothes? Well, really neither. I'm the type that wears tank tops in snow, flipflops year-round, sweatpants in summer... so I don't really dress with practicality. I don't care what's "fashionable," so. Comfort pretty much reigns over my wardrobe. Which kinds of berries grow in the wild where you live? There are these little red ones that grow in little groups and somewhat resemble raspberries. I can't remember if they're edible, though... Oh, and muscadine grapes (I had to look up if they were berries lmao) can be found here, too. They're yummy. Beautyberries are another. Have you ever made an article of clothing yourself? If so, what was it? No. Do you go to arcades? If so, what's your go-to game at one? Even before Covid, I never really went to them. I enjoy them, though. I guess my favorite is maybe air hockey? When's the last time you had an alcoholic beverage? What was it? At the Cheesecake Factory for my birthday. It was some kind of sangria... Maybe strawberry and peach? Idr, but it was good. What has been the most enjoyable job you've had? You assume I've had a job I actually enjoyed. How about the least enjoyable job? Well, I barely lasted two hours in a dairy, soooo... When's the last time you had to carefully plan how you used your time? You're asking the wroooong person, 'cuz my life is never busy enough for that. Who do you usually say hello or good morning to first? My snake Venus, usually. Well, that is if her head is peeking out of her hide or is just fully out. Do you ever chat about your favorite video games with your friends? I don't really have gamer friends anymore, so not really. What do you hope you grow out of? Being so goddamn dependent. What movie made you cry the most? I can't say for sure considering it's easy for movies to make me cry, lmao. Maybe Titanic. What was one of the happiest moments of your childhood? Seeing a container of dog food in the far back behind the Christmas tree one year. It's how I learned I was finally gettinga dog (Teddy). What brings you the most joy in life? Probably my cat lmao. What's a hobby you would like to try out? I wanna get back into video editing, I just. Don't have the motivation for it anymore. As with most things. What sort of a kiss do you count as the first kiss? On the lips and with mutual intention. What was the last event you attended? Thanksgiving dinner at my sister's, ig. How about the last event you organized? Me? Organizing an event? What's the biggest insect you've ever seen? In the wild, probably like... a rhinocerous beetle or something. NO NO WAIT. I remember at least once in my life seeing a fucking GINORMOUS moth on the ground one morning. I don't know what kind it was, but jc it was huge. How about the biggest spider? Oh yikes, I'll never forget this: an orb weaver wandering across the floor of our childhood van and under the passenger's seat. Never saw it again. I was afraid to let my feet stay on the floor for a looong time, haha. What's something you'd never ever dare to ask another person? I'd never ask certain "why" questions, like "why did you get an abortion?" or something like that. I can think of valid situations to ask most things, even controversial matters, but no one should ever have to justify something like that. "Why don't you have kids?" is another. That one gets to me. Having children is not an advancement or milestone in everyone's life, and hell, you never know if the woman's had like five miscarriages or something. What's something you've always wanted to ask someone but haven't dared? Why Mom didn't raise her eldest daughter, at least for her whole life. Katie's childhood is a big mystery to me, and I want to know more, but I know the topic is very upsetting to Mom, so I'm not about to make her explain it. What's the worst/best thing you've done without your parents knowing? Saying "worst/best" makes this question confusing... but I'm guessing you mean the best thing to me that they wouldn't have approved of? I really didn't do a lot of things that would fit that description. I can only think of a certain intimate occasion where things happened where they probably shouldn't have. If you wear earrings, what does your favorite pair look like? Ugh, I don't because of the holes being too stretched out from wearing heavy earrings too long. I still haven't gotten to putting proper gauges in so it looks less stupid. Have you ever won any money from a scratch card? Maybe like, $10 or something. How about a slot machine? I've never played one. Do like playing bingo? Sure, it's all right. What small, everyday thing makes you really happy? Cuddling with my cat. Do you enjoy puzzle games? If so, which one's your favorite? Yeah, I do. I can't really pick a favorite, though... Is there a substance you avoid at all costs? If so, what is it and why? I think in a past survey I mentioned my aversion to beer because of the association it has with my dad. I'd never be able to get a sip down. Not that I really want to anyway though, it stinks. What you would you absolutely hate living next door to? Any really busy location or travel hubs, like a train station. My childhood home was near a railroad track, and it sucked, so I can only imagine a station. What would you love to live next door to? A waterfall, uggghhhh. In the woods too to hear plenty of frogs and toads and crickets... What gives you nostalgia? It is very easy to make me nostalgic. The littlest things can do it. Hearing about/seeing/playing childhood video games, like Spyro, is a biggie. Which reminds me how damn badly I wanna play the Reignited trilogy, fuck. I just don't have the proper console. Which language do you think is the most complicated to learn? Well English is supposedly the hardest objectively, but as a native English speaker, I can't say anything about that. In my experience, Latin was like fucking impossible. Is there a place that you might call your second home? I guess Dad's house, but it's not like I'm there a lot. I feel comfortable there, though. How do you imagine your later life to look like? I DO NOT want to think about this. I fucking dread the thought. What is a job you would never in a million years want to do? A butcher. There is absolutely no motherfucking way I ever could do it, even if it kept me off the streets. What's the weirdest building in your city? *shrug* How do you keep in touch with friends usually? Facebook. Do you recognize friends'/family's vehicles by sound? Not anymore. Dad had an old car that was very easy to recognize with its shitty muffler, but he hasn't had that car in years upon years. I used to be able to recognize Jason's old car too because of sound, but primarily because he drove way too fast down our path that when I heard a car zooming over rocks, I knew it was him. What's something new you've just recently learned? It was actually a topic of recent discussion that I may have high-functioning Asperger's. Very, very unusual to learn later in life, but apparently Mom's seen the warning signs in some things since childhood, like my extreme pickiness with textures, my tendency to knead and play with my hands in situations of discomfort, my social ineptitude, hyperfixations, it actually running in our family (which I didn't know beforehand), among a lot of other things. We're not really digging into it though because it just doesn't matter; there's obviously no magic treatment for autism, and me being in therapy and having a psychiatrist to handle my meds is enough. If you were in Harry Potter, which house would you be in? Apparently I'm on the Hufflepuff/Gryffindor line when I took a survey a long time ago. Are you nagged about being on the computer too much? Not anymore, at least on the average day. Mom's accepted it by now. Dad's joked about it before though and I know others have certain opinions about it. Based on your personality, what animal do you think you'd be? Maybe a deer. Shy, reclusive, and always on alert. Have you ever been in a hot tub? Yeah. What song is stuck in your head at the moment? I have "my boy" by Billie Eilish on right now because it's stuck in my head. What's your father's middle name? John. What's the last movie you saw in theaters? Yikes, good question. I think it was The Lion King remake. Have you ever vandalized? No. What's a pet you've always wanted? Most pets I want I've had at some point or another... I guess I'll say a ferret, though I've really only wanted one in concept. I could never keep up with their maintenance, but by god they are the cutest fucking things ever. Do you like mice? I love mice! What's your favorite t-shirt? My "equal in our bones" Cloak shirt. :''') The design is so beautiful and just my style in general, plus I live to support anything Fischfuck takes part in. Did you/will you get a car for your 16th birthday? I'm 25 and still have never had my own car lmaoooo. What's your favorite tomato variety? I generally don't like tomatoes themselves, but rather products made with them, like ketchup. If I'm in the mood though, I do like tomato sandwiches with mayo and bacon; I only ever enjoyed them though if they were fresh right from an old friend's garden. Which well-known person's death shocked you the most, if any? I think Chester Bennington's was the biggest surprise. Rest easy, you legend. What's the craziest color you'd dye your hair? More like what crazy color WOULDN'T I dye it... What was the longest train ride you've been on? I've never been on one. What's the coolest hobby one of your friends has? uhhhhh idk Have you ever played in a stack of hay bales? No. If you could learn any skill, which would you like to learn? Ha, cooking. How do you like your steak? Medium well.

[x1protector]

Chef!AU Wooseok

Author’s note: chef au seungyoun exists, so why not,, -Admin V 🌻

p a i r i n g: wooseok au (extend for x gender neutral reader)

g e n r e: fluff; chef au; bullet au

w a r n i n g s: mild language

w o r d  c o u n t: 1k

Chef!AU Wooseok

Read Chef!AU Seungyoun here.

his face speaks model but his hands speak chef

a genius

won so many cooking awards since the age of 12 through the age of culinary school

if it was legal and safe enough to hold a knife before that he would have done it

Well-liked, well-admired, and graduated from a top culinary school with high honors and a stacked resume with fellowships and internships from all over the world

looks cold and intimidating in school, earned the nickname of ice prince by his schoolmates because they saw him in the freezer once and the reflection of his angled features on the glass door just sparks ethereal vibes

is an actual shy baby

Volunteers to teach at a local cooking school for children in his free time, goes around using baby-talk with little kids and giving them cool nicknames

“Teacher Wooseok is this how you flip the pan?”

“That’s correct, Egg Warrior!”

speaks in small font on a daily basis but not many knows bc he doesn't usually have the chance to speak

people get scared when he just looks at them, and only his real friends would know how sassy he is

Jinhyuk: hey can u pass me the salt

Wooseok: no because sodium kills your heart and I need a friend when I'm 60

doesn't like being tied down and prefers to travel for his work

recently got invited to work at a famous restaurant and only accepted because he heard the rival restaurant across is manned by cho seungyoun: his competitor in school

doesn't know why he cares so much but he just really wants to beat seungyoun

Junho: hyung are you sure you're not like,,,,,, in love with him--

Wooseok: do you value your employment?

looks cool as heck in the kitchen though and can do five times the workload of a regular chef

seems bossy but actually cares a lot about his team

will never admit he has a soft spot for anyone

let the team go home early sometimes bc he's "feeling tired" and not because he may or may not have seen junho dropped a pot and bruised his left foot of course not

Super cute when he's in a good mood, or when he’s drunk, goes around giving everyone creampuffs he made at home

When he’s not around everyone just refers to him as Seokseok because he’s such a babie, but no one dares tell him that he’s still their boss let’s be real

Except one time Dongpyo messed up and accidentally called him Seokseokie in the middle of rush dinner hour

Everyone: sh*t.

But Wooseok just moved on like nothing was out of the ordinary, he found out about the name a while back but kept quiet since he actually liked it

Dongpyo: /escapes death yet again!!!

spaces out a lot so Eunsang always has eye drops with him in case wooseok's eyes get dried up

have fought people/customer on sight for bullying his kids, especially the pompous ones who always think their palate is oh so refined and dissed the dishes and compared them to famous chefs abroad

Wooseok: the chef you’re mentioning learned this technique from me what do you mean refined palate my butt im gonna wACK--

Hyeongjun, to the customer: please leave now if you value your life!!!!

not allowed to leave the kitchen, usually to the amount of times he gets mistaken for a handsome college part timer

Honestly, just imagine Wooseok in a fitted white chef button down.. his hair held back by these clips Hyeongjun put on for him... jawlines that can fillet a fish--

When he does leave the kitchen tho, gets hit on by young rich people and middle aged people alike

Has a fan page endorsed by customers and employees of the restaurant, one of the many reasons the many floors of the place is always packed with people

Sneaks out anyway bc he likes seeing the joy on people's faces as they enjoy their food

just a soft baby pls protect

[extend for x reader]

You’re the other chef who volunteered at the little kids’ cooking school

Well, it’s less of a school and more of a recreation center’s cooking class, but Wooseok always refers to it as a school though b/c any sort of educational establishment is school to him

You’re honestly just a culinary student looking for more experience, and teaching seems really fun, especially when your little brother was in class

Speaking of which, he’s earned a nickname from the handsome volunteer the other day and he couldn’t stop saying it

“Egg Warrior! That’s me!!”

You: Wooseok we need to talk

Wooseok: （＾∀＾）?

You know he works at this really famous restaurant downtown, the one that may or may or may not have three dollar signs on yelp, but to you he just seems like a regular guy, unusually good-looking, but a regular guy nonetheless, and you didn’t feel the need to treat him differently as you would anyone else

Wooseok really appreciates you for that

He’s used to praises from everyone, but not a day goes by when he doesn’t feel the awkwardness or uncomfortableness from people besides his staff

It was the same in school, and perhaps that was why he didn’t make many friends

And why he’s so adamant about wanting to beat Seungyoun, he was one of the only friends Wooseok had in that battlefield of a kitchen at school

It didn’t help that you reminded him so much of Seungyoun

Wooseok: so um,,, there’s an event at my workplace today and um,,, do you wanna,,,

[ten years later]

You: yes? and?

Wooseok: do you wanna come with me i mean i’ll be cooking for our guests but do you wanna um come,,, help me but if you’re busy that’s fine foRGEt i asked i’ll just--

You: sure

Wooseok: what

You: do we go after class or should I meet you somewhere?

Wooseok is jumping in his head but on the outside he’s like YEah we can go after class we’ll just take my car no biggie

Tbh he talks about you so much at work everyone knows your name and favorite food and probably your birthday wooseok is limitless when it comes to crushing on you

Dongpyo when he finally takes you to meet his staff: omg finally

The event was a success, and you got to see him looking so c00l at work honestly what a man

Afterward he took you out for ice cream and dropped you off at home by 10

Your little brother the egg warrior: if you’re dating does that mean you’re the egg royalty?

Wooseok: maybe? (〃´∀｀) are you?

You: Kim Wooseok you’re on thin ice

Read Chef!AU Seungyoun here.

–Admin V🌻

[tiny-maus-boots]

The Saga of Billy Phone

After my oh so graceful fall in the gator lake on sunday I noticed that my phone was suddenly not charging. For the past few days i have been using my old shattered screen phone (his name is biggie smalls) just to be on wifi and check messages and tumblr. No cell service on that and i couldn't even switch my sim to it because it hates me. So. Just basic use. Today i called out so i could get Billy repaired and they told me 'yeah just leave it and I'll do a free diagnostic, call you in an hour'.

I took my mom to lunch (oh god it was soooo good. Pernil with maduros and white rice and black beans...stuffffffed but worth it.) while we waited. No call back so i stopped in on the way home and he gave me the sad news that he couldn't get it to charge and replacing the charge port (only 65 bucks) was risky because this model of phone can only be opened by heating the glass and peeling it back. There is a 50/50 shot the glass will crack and then i would need to replace it at 125 bucks. And also no guarantee replacing the port would even work.

I legit can buy a new phone for the price he would charge to MAYBE repair Billy. I said no and drove to my wireless carrier, slapped my phone down and said "i want this model". But its a discontinued model and the most comparable is not at all what i want. Too skinny and long, not at all comfy in the hand and way too small of a keyboard. And it would cost me about 200 all said and done.

I pulled out my credit card and gave a deep sigh of regret. Let me be clear. I love Billy. I did not want to give him up. Not especially for a device i would hate enough to not even name. As i was sighing i turned on my phone and glanced at the charge left on it to make sure there was enough to transfer my content and it read 47 percent.

This morning it was at 30. So just for shits i asked the rep to plug it in and wouldn't you know...BILLY STARTED CHARGING!

I bought a new cord (even tho all 3 of my cords did not work) and a new tempered glass and walked out of the store on 54 bucks poorer. I am happily charging my boy now. Crisis averted y'all. Crisis. Averted.

You may all carry on with your previously scheduled day.

[monkey-network]

Everything Wrong With: Into The Spiderverse [Done Right]

Cinema Sins dropped the fucking ball with that take, so I decided to do it better in honor of this movie releasing on Netflix. All sins will end with a (+), all sin removals will end with a (-). 3, 2, 1, PENGU!

Logos aside, got to sin for that single tone in the music getting uncomfortably louder to me during them. (+)

Nice try, jokes on narration is still narration (+)

Bonus petty sin for not casting Tobey (+)

I love ya, movie, but you just had to crack wise at the best thing to come out of Spiderman 3 (+)

Petty sin for ringing me flashbacks of my childhood. Sure it wasn’t a spidey popsicle, but it hurt just the same (+)

Wow Spidey, way to downplay the other heroes in New York (+)

Sin for making me think Post Malone is a good musician. Good meaning producing more than 1 good song. (+)

Sin off for giving me that pure melanin that is Miles’ family. (-) 

Assuming this is all the same morning, how long did it take Miles to get ready? Jefferson was only in a tee at the house yet was conveniently able to catch Miles on the street, fully suited, in the car. (+)

There are police in this movie. (+)

Jameson can’t be around for this one. smh (+)

I’m with Miles. Dad was being pretty petty right there. (+)

Petty sin for making me look at calculus, and I know that’s calc. (+)

Miles shouldn’t be needing all them books. I’m not even there and this school already feels like torture. (+)

Sin off for that smooth Einstein quote (-)

Come on, Miles, you tried too hard to fail. (+)

Seriously, NO student should be having that many books regardless of the schedule. This private school is worse than college. (+)

Okay, three sins off for playing Biggie Smalls (-)(-)(-)

Tho I gotta sin back for censorsing the vocals.(+)

Miles doesn’t at all feel the spider crawl up his body. Even I could feel a bug on my sleeves. (+)

Yet again, radioactive spider bite doesn’t immediately kill ���em. (+)

A sin not to the movie, but to Marvel for essentially undercutting Miles’ roomie to make way for Homecoming essentially taking that for themselves. I haven’t forgotten. (+)

Sin off for Miles and (G)wanda’s adorkable moment (-)

Says his plan is terrible and throws him over thinking that’ll work (+)

Snitches (+)

Officer says open up and forgets his key to his own office? (+)

Middle schooler is still gunning after taking a steel beam to the gut (+)

What happen to the Green Goblin? He is never mentioned again after this. (+)

“You don’t have a choice“ cliche (+)

Okay, sin off for the flash drive joke (-)

Miles has a phone capable of recording that in good quality (+)

Goblin thinks that’s a good idea that won’t kill him (+)

They killed the Green Goblin. (+)

“No pressure.” (+)

Prowler has special eyewear yet couldn’t recognize Miles? (+)

Bonus sin for the cape (+)

Poor choice of music for a serious scene (+)

Stan lee cameo. Obligated sin off. (-)

Miles survives that fall (+)

Miles takes off layers in the middle of a snowy night and is not cold in the slightest. Not even a shiver in his voice. (+)

This isn’t the last time (+)

I fear what a Spidey themed restaurant is (+)

Beter gets 11 slams across the city, a tombstone to the face, face across high moving pavement, countless more face slams, and doesn’t suffer a full on concussion. I get Spider-Man’s strong but he’s not regenerative nor indestructible. (+)

“Don’t watch the mouth, watch the hands.“ The implications (+)

Beter would be better than Jeremy at CinemaSins (+)

Dude, you got sauce on the lens. (+)

Preferential, but the blurriness of the less focused backgrounds honestly hurts my eyes sometimes, like someone rubbed vaseline on everything but the focused. (+)

Two sins off for playing St. Elmo’s Fire (-)(-)

Beter being barefoot in the snow makes me wanna scream (+)

Tell that to Spiderman E-751263 with his web cape (+)

Ah, the frame that sparked the most basic meme ever (+)

Hobo peter is better Peter, Miles (+)

Two sins for the horrible sight of a desktop (+)(+)

The cellular decay and the glitching doesn’t play all that much in the stakes. The Spidermun don’t get weaker because of it nor affects their combat until the very end. It all makes sense nonetheless, but it feels like an afterthought watching again. (+)

Doc Ock? Still hot. Seven Sins off! (-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

Doc’s arms are no match for yoga balls (+)

Gwen’s arrival is pretty convenient (+)

Scientists don’t immediately notice/react to the Spidermun barging in (+)

Shout out to the female scientist that wanted no part of it all and just wanted her drink (-)

Bagel! (-)

Microscopic scientists can’t apparently aim for shit (+)

Sin off for the hard rock (-)

Gwen was able to keep all that hair in her mask without a net (+)

Stop saying one last time. There’s gonna be sequels. (+)

“I don’t do friends“ cliche (+)

The Comic Con joke? Peak comedy. (-)

Another sin off for Miles and (G)wen adorkable moment (-)

Wait, wasn’t it snowing outside the other night? It all melted that quick? (+)

Beter gets sticky shit on the doorbell. (+)

Three sins off for Aunt May (-)(-)(-)

How come no other hero is around? Daredevil and the Defenders? Strange? Reed? Nobody else noticed that explosion and is reacting accordingly? (+)

I don’t wanna know where them wet hands have truly been. (+)

Nicholas Cage... (-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

The B team don’t get better screentime other than a couple moments each. Benefits the story but it’s still a tad underwhelming in hindsight. (+)

Also, would’ve preferred Peni having a less kawaii design. (+)

You mean Noir had a gun? And doesn’t have it? (+)

“Punch Nazis“ (-)

Also, I’m getting Kung Fu Panda vibes now (-)

Way to put on the pressure (+)

What is this music? (+)

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN (+)

Cars continue to move even when driver should realize something’s happening to their car (+)

RIP Motorcycle (+)

Cool Sp//dr scene (-)

Also Peni wears heelys (-)

Has anybody gotten any sleep? I’m not sinning this one but it feels like nobody’s had the chance to rest since it’s been a couple days.

How was he followed? Didn’t notice a tracker or anything to hint this. Oh wait, the suit.... Goddamn it. (+)

Peni was just standing there for a bit. Get in the robot! (+)

Tombstone gets thrown out only to instantly come back in (+)

Barely anybody in the neighborhood is outside to see the action. Everyone there can’t be that smart. (+)

A bit tasteless, but it’s a bit kinda embarrassing that Prowler was outsmarted by a kid in a Spiderman halloween costume. (+)

Kingpin got out that car faster than a child support dodger (+)

Sins off for Aaron’s final words (-)(-)

You honestly think he’d be okay? (+)

This music (+)

Admittedly, tying him up in this pretty trashed room is not a good look (+)

Beter already named the lightning strike after only seeing it once (+)

“You got the spark“ cliche (+)

Sin off for the pun anyways. (-)

“Leap of Faith“ scene (-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

Okay, now:

The re purposed quotes overplay the quiet suspense of the scene (+)

Assuming this takes place on the same night, I refuse to believe that suit was able to dry so quickly after all that paint (+)

And that Miles is able to just put on the mask without worrying about the paint fumes (+)

Miles puts on a couple layers over the suit only to take ‘em off later on. (+)

Why’d they take the bus? (+)

Only good joke from Spider-Ham and he didn’t even set it up (+)

Beter loss his beer gut overnight it seems (+)

Also that scene with MJ was pretty flat. Funny, but flat. (+)

“Last second gotcha from the villains“ cliche (+)

Convenient timing (+)

So Doc’s just okay with destroying her machine like that? (+)

Best line from Porker (-)

Welp, Doc Ock is certainly gone. Seriously, we never see her again. It’s tragic. (+)

Smashing isn’t gonna help, Fisk. Phrasing (+)

Miles is somehow able to figure out everyone’s dimensions (+)

Last sin off for Miles and Gwen adorkable moment (-)

You’d think Miles would try to reason with Kingpin so they don’t possibly die? (+)

Fisk is unnaturally agile enough to catch a flying train (+)

Well that plot thread was done in an instant (+)

Kingpin just stands there. Doesn’t finish him off when he genuinely has the chance. (+)

Jefferson survives the explosion unscathed. (+)

“One Last Time“ (+)

Miles just lets his roomie know his identity without question (+)

Drones are the true villains (+)

Couple Sins off for banging credits themes (-)(-)

Also a few for the great credits sequence (-)(-)(-)

Saw some t-posing (+)

Great quote from Stan Lee (-)

Seven sins off for great animation overall (-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

A good End Credits scene (-)

“One Last Time“ (+)

SINS TOTAL: 102 - 79 = 23

Statement: Puberty is a cruel mistress.

[1358456]

Review Response, Feb 10 - 16, 2019

SE #016

1) Could you please use the name Kotone/Lyra instead of Soul?

This ancient fossil is still...

Oh, you mean the character who does not actually exist in Pokemon Special, who everyone thought would exist back then since the HGSS female PC was SO damn different from Crystal and HGSS arc did not exist yet so no one knew?

DE #030

1) Oh my god I love all of these (though I feel sorry for White)

Hehe... right off the back in the DE Resurrection, Black and White gets whacked by the doom hammer. Sure, no one died, but death is not necessary for the doom hammer. As long as it’s heartbreaking, it works out.

2) ahh all the good ships. ahahah rip whi-two/lack-two pairing not being in this (not too big of a fan anyways lmao) crys n gold was super cute tho!

Ehh... the BW2 pairing... well, I’m kind of waiting on new stuff to work with. I mean, with the guy being... THAT, it’s really hard to make him work with a sweet girl like Faitsu. So... new material required.

3) Aw, these are so cute - especially the Lucky and Commoner ships. Makes me glad I've probably become a bigger advocate of Lucky than Special. Feel bad for White though - hopefully Black's out of that thing by the next year.

The Sun x Moon one was nicely written too. Great work as always!

Yay for Red and Blue! It’s fun to write Blue being in a cute and sweet and happy setting. And as usual, Diamond and Platinum gets to enjoy a very sweet moment together. And I think it’s like the very first “heavy make out” I wrote between the two? It’s usually just those two hugging or sharing a quick kiss. Hehe...

And yes. Maybe Black will be freed before the 6th Valentine’s Day! As long as he’s free before Day 2000!

Expect more Sun & Moon stuff!

4) So cute! I really liked Ruby and Sapphire's scene, as well as Black and White's. It just about destroyed me when you included the actual days since he's been in the Light Stone. Very good chapter as usual!

Poor Black and White, eh? Or more specifically, poor White, since she’s the one left behind. Heh... Day 1666 on Valentine’s Day. Ouch. The next Valentine’s Day would be Day 2031. So as long as Black is freed before Day 2000...

5) White's section was sad... SAD I TELL YOU! And is X such a shut-in that gossip would spread over him getting some flowers?

Poor White! Hehe.

And no, it’s not like that. I think X would have an irrational “fear” of things like that, though. Like, buying a small box of chocolates? No biggie. Buying a big bouquet of flowers? Definitely eye-catching. And given his past, he might fear that the news would spread, even though in reality, the other people would be like “oh that’s sweet” and then immediately move on and forget. Since the chapter was written while following him, it only shows his view.

6) All of the Valentine's Day shorts were really sweet and heartwarming. Well, except the one for Black and White. That one was pretty depressing. She's the only one who has a significant other that didn't get to enjoy Valentine's Day like the others. Hopefully, you balance it out with a sweet moment for her and Black, too.

One of these segments is not like the others! 6 fluff and 1 doom. 85.7% fluff, 14.3% doom. Mostly fluff. Hehe...

Now, this chapter was “doom” for Black & White, because the last thing I wrote for them was a fluff one (Short Story - The Question). So... need to alternate, you know? Which means the next one WILL be balancing out with a fluff ball chapter with Black and White. Stay tuned!

[justtwilightshitposts-blog]

So I got high as fuck and watched Twilight for the first time in 6 years and made a list of the thoughts running through my head. Anyways it’s under the cut, enjoy lol

Dramatic entry....

I don’t understand what she’s saying

Oh my god look at her stupid fucking cactus it’s so small and dumb

Why does she sound so miserable

Charlie her hair?? Really??

How is their house so big with one fucking bathroom

Charlie really had someone else decorate her room omg

Why is he such a good fucking dad. I want to cry

“Still dancin”..... aight, billy 

Jacob looks so fucking angsty

She’s so excited about this huge ugly piece of shit truck how is she straight

Did it ever get explained in the series where the fuck Jacob goes to school

“Nice ride” ahah SOOOO FUNNY

I don’t remember his name but why is he such a try hard

*Ball comes at Bella* bella: fUCK

Jessica: stay the FUCK away from my man

Jessica you weird

Mike stop

Who tf is that dude omg he just took his fucking chair

“FEATURES DEAD, ANGELA”

Oh my god Jess when she says eating disorders aakkskakdn

This background music does not fit the characters

Yeah they live together omg

How convenient. A family full of people who fuck each other except ONE

HIS FUCKING STARE

Why they got a fan in the classroom

No introduction to the new kid? Unrealistic. Blocked.

Stop staring at each other what the shit bruh

Just jump tf out the classroom damn

Edward trying to slam the door omggg

How she gonna know you Santa when you dressed normal, tf

Just grab the ketchup

Jesus Christ just talk to each other

Goodbye cell phone then

Day one and you’re doing homework ok

Why is Edward so fucking cringey

He couldn’t handle it so he just stayed home fucking pussy

They just straight up threw a fucking rock at her

Things were getting strange AFTER he stops going to school hmmmmm?

Seriously their house is good sized

This bitch just fucking ate shit what a clumsy gay

“You’re not in Phoenix anymore”

“I need your playlist”

Why is EVERYONE hitting on Bella. She doesn’t even look straight

“Hello” bruuhhhh

His voice, TF

What is the golden onion

Why does he talk like... that

Bonding over science. Haha. Get it. Bonding

“How’s the weather”

Cold n wet. Cool

He laughin. Lmao

Aw his smile

I feel so awkward watching this conversation

Why doesn’t this bitch just sit tf still Jesus Christ

“Wait hOLD UP why didn’t you go with your mom and Phil just curious haha I’m just trying to analyze you no biggie”

The fluorescents. Walks away. ????

How tf did this mf even manage to almost crash like what. How did it even happen

He out this mf

Everyone just like. Sat there for so long not doing anything??? Then BAM OMG BELLA ALSKAJNCKDO”

Carlisle is so fucking white Jesus

Did she never notice his eyes are the same color as Edwards

Fuckin snitch omg Carlisle is not happy

“Hey ex wife our daughter almost died lol call me back”

They are really just arguing in the middle of the hospital tf?

I was standing right next to you....

why does he look like that

Rude ass tf?

Edgy moon

Tf she dreaming about

Wait so like he didn’t even start out with anything low key he just straight up fucking watched her sleep after knowing her a week

God why does he look like that. All the time

Poor mike oh my god

She’s lived here a week how does she already have plans conveniently the night of prom. Get a better excuse Bella

Recycled tea

Why is he so fucking creepy “what’s in Jacksonville” mf HOW you know

Rude ass again what the shit

Why would Bella care if you go to prom with mike, Jessica

“We shouldn’t be friends” no one said you were???

“Our bus is full” 💀

Call your fucking mother you asshole

Charlie don’t talk about Phil

She just walks tf out lmaoooo

How did anyone NEVER say anything about them NEVER eating lunch

La PUSH

He just bounced a fuckin apple

Stop being so cryptic what the fuck

“Let’s say for arguments sake that I’m not smart” bitch me too the fuck

“What if I’m... the villain” shut up you fucking emo oh my god

Come to the beach lol

This is all so awkward

Why did they like hardly ever show Angela

“You’re a strong independent woman” how do people think she’s straight

“The Cullen’s don’t come here” so fucking dramatic

“Yeah yeah whatever enough of you, what about the CULLENS”

Wait. How long have the Cullen’s been around? How long ago was the treaty made???

This music is so fucking dramatic

Oh no it’s Santa....

These bitches gay as fuck too James looks so fucking gay

How is it the entire time she’s trying to figure out the Cullen’s not ONCE does she question the quilietes being descended from FUCKING WOLVES

All these prom dresses boring as fuck

Like what the fuck even is that material

Jess is fucking... phat

“Sorry I don’t do prom dresses I just like really wanna go to this bookstore”

I don’t even want to know what would have happened if Edward didn’t come get her from these creeps...

She legit is about to get gang raped and like. No one ever said anything about this guys what the fuck

Why does Edward look like a fucking crack addict

“Sorry I just REALLY wanna murder these guys”

You should put YOUR seat belt on

“Yeah were gonna do everything that consists of a date but it’s not a date ok?”

No way that tiny bitch is gonna eat that whole ass plate

I’m gonna make sure YOU eat but I won’t alright?

Fucking math nerd

How DID he know she was there???

“I feel very protective of you even though I’ve known you for like less than a month”

He can read minds it’s no biggie

“Cat” bitch me too!!!

I can’t read YOUR mind tho sorry

Wait so why are certain vampires given gifts?

I don’t wanna stay away from you anymore lol

Ooooo our dads are here

“Animal attack” *GLARE*

“Idk what to say I’m so sorry”

Charlie STOP MY HEART IS FUCKING BREAKING

Animals are attacking and you give her pepper spray?

Why tf did they roll his whole ass body out in plain view why the hell was he not in a body bag!!!!

“Oh OKAY everything is starting to come together”

What is this dramatic dream where he’s all emo drinking her blood what the fuck is happening

“Follow me into the woods just trust me”

I don’t find it believable that he speaks like he’s from a different time. His dialect would change with time. Imagine him in 2018 fuckin yeet this and dab that lmaoooo

Why when he runs his legs move and nothing else

How fast are they even going

Diamonds are a girls best friend. And vampires.

“I’m a killer” on cool aha I’m just chillin alone in the woods with u haha no biggie

Why are you being so dramatic Edward

He just yeeted that fucking rock lol

“I’ve never wanted to kill anyone until you”

You’re my drug....

his voice is cracking me tf up

“I’m not afraid of you I’m afraid of losing you” you fucking emo

I want to die

I zoned out an all I heard was “sick masochistic lion” .... alright

Let’s just lay in the grass in the middle of the fucking woods it’ll be cute!!!

Do they just. Stare at each other and not talk...

Why do they use sound effects for his skin lmao

“My crush is a vampire lol ❤️”

What’s Monte Carlo

Everyone is staring lmaoooo

The siblings are not happy lmao

Why would you turn someone into a vampire like there is no logical reason to be like “you’re dying so I’m gonna make you live FOREVER”

They’re just chillin in the rain lmao

Literally tho like being a vampire would be pointless and fucking torture Jesus Christ why would you force that on a dying person

“Wanna meet the fam lol jk u have no choice”

The fucking stare down between Edward and Jacobs dad I’m fucking deceased

“Just keepin it real, son” broooo

Does anyone remember at one point in this series Edward and Jacob just fucking switched Bella off like what the shit was that was I just hallucinating

They cooked for her :(

How long has it been since they cooked

Esme is my soul mate

We NEVER use the kitchen

Jesus CHRIST Rosalie chill the FUCK out

Calm down you FUCKING drama queen

Please don’t kill me lol

Alice you Sapphic ass coming in on a fuckin tree branch

“Bella and I are gonna become great friends” does... does she KNOW. You know bc she can see the future

Alice is so cheery oh god

I too would be dramatic enough to frame all of my several graduation caps

I don’t... sleep

Like he doesn’t even need a chair like their legs never get tired. If they wanted to they could just stand every second of every day

Edward it is the 21st century catch up on the tunes, man

The face she made when he twirled her lmaooo

“I’ll MAKE you dance” .... alright

Why did they like. Move midair

This tree jumping shit just does not look scientifically accurate

“This kind of stuff just doesn’t exist” ... the woods?

Let’s sit in a fucking tree and just talk forever

I wonder who wrote the song Edward wrote. It’s actually... good???

Why is the footprint on top of this fucking mound of dirt lol

Hey hey you You I don’t like your boyfriend

I would kill for Charlie

No one like ACTUALLY questions why a HUMAN foot print is found in the murder scene

“Go SOCIALIZE”

He just fucking comes out of nowhere fuck

How much time does this movie take the course over “only the last couple months” ????

“There’s always something I wanted to try” *kisses bella* you gonna tell me you’re 100+ years old and a virgin???????

This kissing scene must have been so awkward

He just fucking. Zooms back into the wall

Does Charlie not hear any of this???

Edward. She needs to sleep bro

I’m sorry but if my partner never slept I would never sleep with them like don’t fucking watch me sleep the shit???

He just fucking loves his gun

What is he doing over his head ??

We’re just gonna play a family game of baseball lol

Charlie cares so much :(

Charlie doesn’t even question that they’re going to play baseball in a thunderstorm

The baseball scene is in my top iconic scenes in cinematic history

Why do they keep the field so small if they hit the ball so far ???

Emmet my fuckboy baby

When emmet and Edward collide. Iconic.

These gay ass Mfers and their dramatic entrances

Why is putting her hair up going to help. It’s not her hair they smell it’s her blood? Right??

Vampires just go around claiming territory??

All around America??

James knows

Why do they hiss....

The fucking Cullen clan all just bend their knees and hiss like what the shit

“I can buckle MYSELF Edward”

This all went 0-100 real quick

Edward step up your acting game. Monotone ass mf

Charlie is so fucking confused

What even is she grabbing

Ok but Charlie’s so supportive of her and like all he cares about is her being safe oh my god

And he never knows that she didn’t mean any of what she said :((((((

That would fucking kill me oh my god poor Charlie

When they land on her truck... where are they coming FROM...

“Her kind” ... gingers?

Rosalie has a point...

Laurent was just a third wheel

Why do they drive so fast

How the hell was Bella even going to explain this to her mom??? What was her plan.

James.... Jesus your fucking face...

How did he get into the high school

You fucking dumbass you just gonna. Fight a fucking vampire? What is her plan? Fight him? Show up and take her mom and get out???

Also how did she even sneak past Alice and jasper

Wait how did he get this video

You dumb as shit bitch!!!

You can’t fight a vampire the fuck!!!

Why is the part where James shoved Edward against the mirror so sexually tense

This whole fucking ballet studio scene is just too dramatic

Why is she convulsing tho. Is that how it is when you turn into a vampire??? You fucking have a seizure???

Alice fucking SNAPPED

This whole series could have ended right here if they just let her fucking change into a vampire right then and there

Shut the fuck up and suck, Edward

Why her face look like.... that

Carlisle just PUSH HIM

Why are the tubes like ON her eyeballs

Edward sleeping... ha

The whole falling down the stairs bullshit story is so fucking ridiculous lmaoooo

“You’re texting” this movie is so old

Which leg is broken???

I almost killed you lol sorry. Also get the fuck out of Forks

Bella: *insert lady from lipstick in valentino bag vine*

Ok so her right leg is in the cast but in the hospital she was chillin in the bed with her right leg bent?

Jacob where did you come from lmao

“My dad paid me to come talk to you”

“Also you need to break up with your boyfriend”

The instant tension between Edward and Jacob and Bella is so fucking oblivious

“The wolves descend” REALLY EDWARD

Was their senior prom ever mentioned in the series???

She’s so fucking short omg

This music: A++

No seriously what is with everyone’s dresses being so ugly

“I want you always” bitch you just met like 2 months ago???

Bella is so desperate for the dick that she wants to become a fucking vampire

She actually thought he was gonna bite her at prom lmao????

They kiss so awkwardly

Victoria looks so jealous

And hot

Where is she going

Oh it’s over ok cool gn

[softest-nerd-freddie]

stozier where Stan is feeling dumb and miserable because he got like a “c” on something and richie comforts him and is super kind and maybe when Stan says he’ll never understand rich offers to tutor? (Cus in the book richie is technically a genius)

This is one of my favourite tropes and since I’m a ducker for school au’s I’m more than happy to do this!!

And once again I have mini series Stozier in my mind while writing!

Stan has always liked math. He likes that everything in it has it’s place and certain rules to obey. Everything has it’s order one has to follow and there is no place for stepping off the path.

Altough he has never had bigger problems with those classes, (he can boast about having straight A’s throughout the years in the high school) his so-called winning streak has been broken now, in the middle of his junior year, when the flu that swept him off his legs, forced him to stay at home for two weeks.

He, good student as he is of course, tries to gather all of the notes, but before he is able to even sit straight in his bed, let alone read and focus on anything, the new topic has been taken by the teacher. He tries his best to understand what is going on but the longer he looks at the numbers and letters in his notebook the less it all make sense. He refuses to ask anyone for help and he regrets it big time - as soon as he comes back to school, his class write a test on this topic.

When the techer gives them their papers back a week later, the big red C (you can do better than this, Stanley!) is glaring at Stan and he feels his heart sink. It’s his first this bad grade, he wouldn’t even mind B that much, but C? It almost screams Cretin at him and he’s so close to tear the paper here and there.

The bell rings and everyone rushes to the door to finally leave the school for today, but Stan can’t move from his place still looking, almost obsessively, at his failure (being failure). The only person who is now in the classroom with him is Richie who decided to wait for his friend.

“And here we can see a rare specimen of Stan the Man in his natural habi-” the voice dies in Richie’s throat when he notices Stan’s wet eyes the moment they meet his. Stan quickly wipes them with the sleeve of his shirt, turning back to his paper. “Hey Stannie, are you okay?”

The concern in Richie’s voice makes Stan look at him again and without speaking a word he shows him his test. 

“It’s not a biggie, you know? You were absent and it’s not your fault.” Richie tries to sound reassuringly, being aware of how important it is to Stan. 

“No excuses, Rich. It is my fault because I don’t understand it, and I don’t understand it because I’m dumb.” Stan’s voice is harsh and Richie sees in his eyes that he has set up his mind and changing it will be harder than he thinks.

Stan gets up and throws his test into his bag. He wants to leave as soon as possible, but before he manages to take a step, he feels warm hand catching his wrist. He looks surprised at Richie, who gets up as well and is now facing him. Stan has to raise his head a bit, Richie really has outgrown him.

“Come on, Stan, you know it’s not true. You’re the smartest guy I know and the fact that you tripped once doesn’t change that.” Stan feels the hand moving from his wrist, cupping his own, squeezing slightly. They used to do it a lot in kindergarten, a small gesture of support for one another. They had to stop though, because the older they got, the weirder it felt. Stan is glad that Richie hasn’t forgotten. 

“I can help you if you want?” Richie seems to be unsure for a moment, but quickly adds in his usual loud voice “I don’t want to boast but I got A, you know. A like amazing, and amazing is my second name!” 

Stan finally gives in and smiles looking at their tangled hands. 

“Fine. I think I may use the help of Richard Amazing Tozier, to be honest. You can come over today, eat dinner with us and then help me study.”

“Splendid!” the redhead exclaimed, letting go of Stan and placing his hand on his friend’s back, leading him out of the classroom. “So, my handsome apprentice, what dainties is your lovely mother going to prepare today?”

After the dinner, when they both settle on Stan’s bed with a plate of chocholate cookies and notebooks, Stan doesn’t feel so confident anymore. He knows damn well he is able to understand it, but he knows there’s a wall between him and this topic build out of his insecurities.

Richie notices it and gives him a playful shove, smiling, his eyes saying “you got this”. He then proceeds to explain everything step by step and show the use of formula on two examples. Explained by someone else it all seem to finally start making sense, and Stan thinks he gets this but when Richie says that it’s his turn to do some tasks, worries creep their way back again.

“I’ll give you a cookie for every finished exercise” Richie says his mouth full of chocolate, pointing at the remaining three on the plate, earning a chuckle from Stan. 

Stan struggles at first one but he finishes it all alone. The second one seems easier but still he has to scratch a lot when he messes up. He looks with distaste at the page but lets it be. He approaches the third one calmly and steadily and he does it almost without any mistake.

“You see? I told you!” Richie bumps his fist against his friend’s shoulder, smiling widely. “You should do some more, just to get used to it. But we’re out of cookies.”

“It’s okay, I can do it without a reward.” Stan shrugs it off, turning the page in his notebook.

“The ultimate treat from Mr. Tozier is a kiss, you know?” Richie says, sticking his lips out and making loud clicking noises.

Stan’s heart skips a beat. He blinks few times, his cheeks painting pink but when he realized that Richie is joking, all he can do is to laugh nervously. He tries to concentrate on the exercises again, starts to play with his bow-tie to help him focus, but nothing right now can make him forget about the thought of Richie’s lips on his own. 

When Stan finishes the last task and closes his notebook with a thud, he feels good. The satisfaction of his work done well lets him steady his heart, calms his thougths and maybe even allows him to not notice that Richie has been looking at him and not at the pages in the notebook for all that time.

“Those kids, are growing so fast, learning so fast!” Richie exclaims loudly, theatrically wiping non-existent tear from his eye. “You did a good job today, Mr. Uris, I’m proud of you. You deserve a big treat.”

“We did a good job, Mr. Tozier.” Stan smiles, turning his face to his friend and stretching his back. “I think both of us deserve a treat. I can ask my mo-”. 

Richie’s lips pressed to his own stop him from finishing the sentence and Stan can swear that at this moment he almost forgot what he has been talking about. The kiss is sloppy and rather quick, Richie pulls away almost as fast as he went in.

Stan looks at his friend with utter shock painted all over his face, from raised eyebrows, through wide eyes, to his mouth still slightly open as if he is just about to finish what he has been saying. His mind goes completely blank for solid few seconds.

Richie’s expression on the other hand is a mix of fear and amazement. He licks his lips waiting for his friend to response somehow, but the longer he stares at him the more he’s becoming afraid. 

Stan finally blinks and closes his mouth. Without a word he gets up and, to Richie’s dismay, he walks up the door. He then locks them quietly, turns again, now facing Richie and not taking his eyes off of his, he approaches him and sits on the bed as close as he can.

“Do it again.”

Stan gulps. He doesn’t know if kissing a boy is a good thing to do, something in the back of his mind screams at him to stop before he can, but when Richie leans in again and presses his lips softly against his, nothing else matters. He feels warm hands cupping his face and a shiver runs down his spine. He pushes forward, catches the front of Richie’s shirt clinging to it as if afraid that letting go now would mean forever.

“Richard, your father is here!” the loud yell coming from downstairs separates them almost immediately. They jump away from each other breathing a bit heavier, but smiling, feeling too awkward to look each other in the eyes. 

Richie clears his throat, but doesn’t say anything. He only grabs all of his stuff and shoves them into his bag, biting on his lip. As soon as he is done and ready to leave, Stan rushes to the door to unlock them. They both run down the stairs to see their dads waiting for them and chatting while doing so. 

“How did it go, son? Do you understand everything now?” Mr. Uris asked, running his hand through his son’s hair.

“I think I’m doing fine, dad.” Stan answers smiling softly, and after a moment of hestitation he adds “But I think I may need one more tutor session. Just to be sure.”

He finally finds the courage in him to look at Richie. Redhead’s goofy smile makes his heart flip and he feels small smile creeping his way on his lips as well.

“But tomorrow you have to come to our place, Stanley.”

“Sure thing, Mr. Tozier.” Stan answers. “See you tomorrow, Rich.”

(A/N) It was supposed to be one of those headcannon thingy but I just went with a flow and there’s no going back ;A; 

I’m so sorry if it turned out somewhat crappy tho. I still don’t feel too comfortable in writing full fics.

Ps. I’m tagging @steve-harringtwin again and just…let me know if you want me to stop xD