#holy shit I can’t believe I got a fuckin tumblr

[8bitskey]

first ever tumblr post and I’m glad I used it to post ass

[chil2de]

Your sharing a bed with the JJK men hc's were incredible 😩 special mentions for Megumi's bed head, Nanami being a secret cuddle bug, and Yuuta having to drink both iced coffees (that fucking sent me fjdndnfd I could picture it so clearly).

You're super talented so could I, er, possible get a NSFW version? 👀 💳💥💥💥💳💳💥💳💥

Thank you so much 🥺💕

hello anonie!!! thank you dear i’m so glad you liked them!! please the credit card emojis had me cackling LMFAOOOO you really made my whole day out here!!!(THE ICED COFFEE WAS MY FAVOURITE PART TOO)

well i managed to hit the max amount of characters allowed in a tumblr post with five characters alone so i’m going to have to split this up into several posts. it just kinda happened ig

characters in this post: itadori yuuji, gojo satoru, okkotsu yuuta, fushiguro toji (megumi was supposed to be here but i had to reserve him for next post😔)

this work is nsfw. if you’re new here, please read my disclaimer before proceeding. thank you and enjoy!

based off of this post

itadori

- itadori would prob be a ‘deer in the headlights’ if you woke him up in the middle of the night

- but after that? shit, he’s so nice to you. so kind and generous for his baby girl. whether he’s fucking you ‘cause he thinks you might be able to sleep after an orgasm or there’s just an incessant desire for him- doesn’t really matter all that much to itadori. he loves you either way :)

- gets horny so easily LMFAO

- would 100% dick you down if you asked him to and i like to think that he still keeps his really sweet personality during sex cause aaaa he would be so soft and reassuring

- hardcore dom yuuji sounds sexy as all hell but let’s be real… this man won’t kill a fly and apologises for stepping on ants. only exception being angry sex but overall reserving hard dom for sukuna :)

you pepper tiny kisses onto itadori’s face, treating him with the utmost care like handling fine china. his skin feels so soft against your lips, and he smells very faintly of milky soap. there’s some traces of brand cologne on his shirt, as well as his natural scent.

“yuuujiii-“ you coo, blowing air very gently. when he doesn’t stir, you run your fingertips through a bundle of his cotton candy tainted hair. it evokes a reaction from him, so you continue to press him.

“y-uuuu-ji!”

after a few moments, itadori lets out a soft whine before grumbling incoherent blabber. “i won’t eat the pineapple! kugisaki will scream at me!”

you giggle before prodding him again, when finally he relents and jolts awake, eyes wide and mouth slightly parted at how close your face is to his.

“‘s it morning yet?” he wrinkles his nose, stifling a yawn. you emit a hum in thought before wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling you into him. itadori squeaks in surprise when he feels you latch your lips onto his neck, suckling and carefully breaking the bonds underneath his sensitive skin. his moan comes out groggy, still laced with sleep.

“that drives me crazy, you know that, right?” itadori laughs, though his voice comes as a wobble.

“i know. and they look so good on you too, hm?” you giggle, caressing one hand from his neck and then down to the hem of his shirt. your fingertips flutter against his bare skin and he shivers physically and audibly. you smooth your palm flat along his chest, dragging your nails carefully against his muscles.

“kinda.. wanna.. go to.. sleep.. but i don’t.. wanna fall asleep…” itadori mumbles against his pillow. the fabric muffles most of it, but there’s a strain in his voice that leads you to believe he’s moaning lightly. guess after sukuna ripped his heart out, this area hasn’t been quite the same, huh?

“so? then go to sleep, yuuji. i’ll be fine-“ “-no way! i gotta take care of you”

“so why don’t you?”

“‘m going to! i was asleep just half a minute ago!”

“and besides-“

he shifts himself up into a sitting position, leaning his back against the headrest. itadori opens his arms, motioning for you to crawl on top of him. without any haste, you clamber over his built frame, ghosting just over the print of his hard dick.

“not that i mind but- we did, you know, in the morning already-“ “oh, shit, sorry- it’s totally fine if you don’t want t-“ “-just messing with you!”

itadori pulls your neck down and gifts you with the same treatment you were offering him earlier. his tongue is hot and wet against your skin and you can already feel the precipitation forming at the back of your knees. calloused yet tender hands smooth around your waist and he smooths his palms over your shoulder blades.

after itadori’s satisfied with the mark he left, you can’t help but groan a little into his mouth when his lips suddenly claim yours. he drinks you up, relying solely on your taste like he’s drowning and you’re the air he needs.

itadori takes his sweet time cherishing you, or rather it’s still his state of half slumber, but you can feel a dull ache prick your abdomen. you scratch up his shirt, motioning for him to take it off. you’re unsure what comes over you, but shit, you don’t want him- you need him.

“heyheyhey, ‘s okay. don’t worry, i got you.”

“i’ll take care of you.”

“just relax, okay? i got this.” he only coos with sweet reassurances, peppering small kisses and handling you with the utmost precision.

you whimper, balancing your palms flat against his abdomen for additional support as you sink down onto itadori’s cock. he lets out a hum of content, forehead bumping against yours as he allows you to adjust.

“you good?” he murmurs after a few moments, capturing a few strands of your hair in between his fingertips. you nod meekly and itadori hisses out a breathy exhale. he’s sure that if he goes rough as shit you might end up more broken than being able to sleep, so he screws his eyes shut and exhales to maintain his composure.

blazing hot lips scrape against your ear, and his voice comes out in a husky tone.

“tell me how you want it.”

by the lords of everything and all that is holy, itadori only chants the same phrase over and over in his mind. it’s a miracle that he’s able to think straight with all the blood rushing to his cock. he’s more than happy to take it slow, reward you with slow and long strokes while he showers you with high praises. but he can’t ignore the twitch that he experiences when he envisions that pretty lil fucked out face of yours, all messy and ruined for him.

you mutter that you have no preference, that you don’t care because anything he’ll do for you is perfect, and it only gives him a beaming smile at your words.

itadori grabs the scrunched up ball of his shirt that he was wearing before ripping the fabric into half with his bare teeth. you watch his eyebrows perk when he notices how fucking hot you just found that, evident with the way your walls fluttered around him.

“here, babe.”

you part your lips and he stuffs the fabric into your mouth, there’s a little bit of excess hanging out, but he reminds you that you look sexy as hell either way, on top of his dick like that with your hands on his chest, legs spread, face flushed and ready for him.

“don’t wanna be wakin’ anyone else up.”

yuuta

this man is about to end my whole career

yuuta wouldn’t bring it up on his own accord just because… respect.. and he doesn’t want to pressure you or make you uncomfortable into doing things you’re not ready to.

it’s kind of a gray area for him because he doesn’t relish the idea of bringing up sensitive and/or extremely awkward topics so he really said ‘i’ll leave it up to future me’s problem’

but holy shit. let me absolutely tell you.

the second you hint at it? anything of the sorts? 0 to 100. he is FREAKY you cannot tell me he’s innocent just LOOK at the man

can make you scream with ease. all that practice he’s been doing with handling katanas? he doesn’t need his dick to make you cum. will gladly lick up your leftover juices and remark with a smile on his face how ‘it tastes good, angel’

similarly to itadori, i think he would be sweet and patient when asking for your preferences, etc, but after that you’re gonna have to find something to bite onto

“and? what’d you tell her?” yuuta remarks from over his fanned out deck of three cards. his gaze flickers to you as he awaits a response before using his index and middle finger to lay down a +4 card.

“red, by the way.”

you huff and glare at your boyfriend, picking up four cards and attempting to hold them in such a way that they don’t all fall and rattle to the floor. truth be told? you’re seriously a sore fuckin’ loser. you don’t know how he does it, but you’ve never managed to win a game against yuuta.

“i told maki-san that it’s her problem, not mine. if she’s so pressed about people taking them, why does she keep noodles stored in the fridge? really, noodles in the fridge? they’re really spicy as well! made my nose run like hell.” you scoff in distaste, throwing down a random red card on the pile.

“you totally ate them didn’t you?” yuuta giggles, beaming you a wide smile.

“also.. told her that i didn’t see them instead but- yeah.”

“aren’t you worried she’ll find out? oh, and, uno.”

“she might just beat me up to be honest, and, uno, you say? not anymore, love.” you sneer, throwing down a +4 card.

“i want green.”

“i’d protect you.” yuuta states over his cards. you feel like cracking a joke and laughing, but there’s absolutely zero implication on his facial features to show that he’s joking. that, and his serious tone, of course.

you flip your cards down onto the table and yuuta squeaks, pointing towards them.

“uh- i can see your cards-“

“it’s okay, not like i was gonna win anyway.”

at this point, yuuta’s mind races a hundred miles an hour. he’s panicking, blood pressure raised, heart thumping and throat clogged. oh, shit, did he do something wrong? did he upset you? is it ‘cause he said he’d protect you with no regards to the fact that you’re perfectly capable of fending yourself off against maki? fuck, he’s such a god damn screw-up, can’t even take care of his girlfriend correct-

“hey.”

your fingertips slide around his neck, hands interlocking at the base of his head. your thighs balance on his lap and you straddle him, legs either side of his.

he can’t help but hitch his breath, holding it in as though one wrong move and you would dematerialise.

“what’re you thinking about in that head of yours?”

whether you’re referencing his mini panic attack just now, or if you’re referring to all the multiple times he’s battled just bending you over and railing the absolute shit out of you, there’s not much room for debate when you brush your clothed sex up against the print of his dick.

yuuta snakes his slender hands around your throat, holding it in place. you can feel the arousal pool and wash over you, and you’d be more than surprised if you hadn’t soaked through your clothes.

he lets out a breathy laugh, devastating your stomach with butterflies due to how attractive he sounds. yuuta’s soft lips brush the shell of your ear and his other hand moves to rest on your waist,

“why don’t i show you?”

before you can utter a tease something along the lines of “show me what? how you’re too scared to hit me in bed?” you’re already down, flipped over and bent over the table you and yuuta were using moments prior ago for uno. the cards have splattered all over the wooden floor and you only hiss in discomfort as the cool surface scratches against your delicate skin. your boyfriend towers over you, leaning down as his torso clicks into place against your back. even through his titanium white jacket, you can feel his calm and collected heartbeat. he rests his head on your shoulder, nudging his face into you.

“don’t scream, okay? or, try not to, at least-“

his warm fingertips ghost over the curve of your ass, where he pinches the skin there before delivering a loud slap. you squeak, back arching as you jolt from the action. he proceeds by grabbing the inside of your thighs, long middle finger hoisting around your underwear and pulling it to the side. he makes note of the red lingerie you’re wearing and gives you a small chuckle, peppering a kiss to the side of your face.

“-unless, of course-“

“-you’d prefer everyone hear me fuck you stupid.”

“safe word’s blue, angel. i love you and thank you.”

truth be told, you were never sure what to expect from yuuta. hell, you’d never really seen the man’s dick before, sure you caught glimpses in the morning whenever he’d wake up but it’s really not the same. nothing in the world can compare to the first time you felt his piping hot tip brush up against your slicked cunt. and it was embarrassing, actually, the way your pussy was seething for him already.

with a firm hold on your tailbone, yuuta utilises his lower body strength to ram his dick all the way inside. there’s a garbled and choked moan that hisses from you when you feel your walls wrap and deform around the girth of yuuta’s dick. you whine even more so when you can physically feel a thick vein that decorates his shaft.

“the mirror.” yuuta commands in a low tone, redirecting you to glance at the same mirror you’d always fantasised about him fucking you in front of.

his eyes are half lidded, riddled with concentration. it reminds you of that feral and focused gaze he gets during serious battles.

“don’t look at me. look here.”

you trail the outline of yuuta’s arm veins as a result of him rolling his uniform sleeves up; following his v line that points towards his dick. you can only gawk in awe when you realise you’ve taken him to the base of his shaft.

his gaze locks with yours for a split second and he snaps his hips out until just about his tip is visible inside your cunt.

and shit, if his pretty pink cock isn’t the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen, especially with that attractive curve. you’re sure the gesture is just to wind you up, but you can’t help but swoon at him showcasing his pride to you.

“so- mmhf- pretty-“ you whine, words jumbled and breath caught when he slams his dick inside without any prior warning. you can only shriek in exclamation when his tip bruises your cervix, and you’re unsure whether you lament the sensation or not.

he only gives you a cheerful hum, reminding you of his usual cheery disposition. it’s not until then that you realise how much of a fucking beast he’s acting right now.

“right? i’ll put it to good use, i promise.”

gojo

- i know we’re all thinking the same thing here lmfao

- trying to sleep? good for you, now, open your legs for satoru.

- oh you can’t sleep? atta girl, down on your knees for satoru.

- bye i can literally imagine gojo saying some dumbass shit like “think you were trying to sleep but i couldn’t help but think how good my dick would look down your throat like that. sorry, love, you’re not sleeping tonight.”

you blink your eyes in turn with the cicadas chirping aside, stifling a yawn. everything around you down to the very last detail screams at you to sleep, but you just cannot. from the pitch black night that floods the room obscurely, to gojo’s even and quiet breathing beside you. you’ve tried it all. you’ve counted an excess amount of sheep, you’ve tensed and relaxed your body more than you can remember. hell, no matter how many times you’ve flipped the pillow you always seemed to feel less exhausted each time.

you can’t watch netflix, because you’ve binged all your favourite shows. it’s not that you’d wake gojo up because, who cares? by the time you finish scrolling through the endless lists it’ll be time to get up.

you ponder over the things you can do, continuing to subconsciously blink furiously. that is until gojo makes note of your stupid actions and starts giggling like a high schooler at his first sleepover.

“what the hell are you doing?” he snorts, cackling into the pillow like it’s the best joke he’s heard for quite some time.

“shut up, satoru. i’m trying to sleep you ass.” you tut at him, berating him for ruining your divine concentration.

gojo audibly shifts onto his stomach, his right arm crosses over the back of his head as he lazily rests his palm onto his scalp. the other arm preoccupies itself by landing it smack bang onto your chest, fingers wandering up to cup your breast.

“satoru, huh? that’s daddy for ya” he remarks, still giggling in a state of half asleep.

“uh-huh. goodnight.” you dismiss him and his nonsense.

“just go take a shower. always helps me whenever i can’t sleep.”

“hm? you’re giving me actual good advice and being a normal boyfriend? i think i might be asleep already, this is the best dream ever.” you remark sarcastically, prying gojo’s glued wrist off of your breast and sitting up. you could go for a shower, actually. you’re not sure why but it’s always so therapeutic to take one at night rather than the morning.

“huuuh? how could you say that? you’re so mean, (y/n)-chaan! i offered you my love and the world and this is how you repay m-“

“-goodnight satoru. i love you.”

“don’t think professing your love for me will change my mind! i’m still upset at you right now, young lady!” gojo shouts from over his pillow, exclaiming and irritating you in the way he knows how to best.

“yeah, yeah. okay.” you mumble softly to yourself, bearing a wide grin from ear to ear nonetheless.

when you move to crank the water on in the shower, you realise that you didn’t bring along a change of clothes. you momentarily pop back into the bedroom to ransack the drawer for anything that you can find.

“are you back to apologise for being so mean to me?” gojo whines and you can see the pout evident on him even when it’s pitch black.

“no, i’m just here for clothes, satoru.”

you hear him mumble something but it’s muffled by the sheets he’s underneath so you don’t heed any attention to it and resume in taking a shower to help keep your insomnia at bay.

with a ginger step and a small ‘oopf’, you heave yourself into the large shower that only a headass like gojo would bother buying. it’s reminiscent to what a hot tub looks like on the inside, with surrounding jets practically in a full 360 degrees. the things so steep that there’s a small step up in front of the shower outside the actual structure. it must have cost quite the fortune.

you reach in for the built in shelf to grab ahold of some of your toiletries as you allow the water to fall in a gentle sprinkle, almost like rain. there’s an audible squeeze reminiscent to trying to get the last ounces of ketchup as you apply some body gel to your hands, lathering it up.

despite standing, the warmth of the water leads your muscles to feel less tense. the only noteworthy downside is that the running water is tremendously loud. how on earth is gojo sleeping through all that racket?

slender fingertips ghost over your inner thighs. you can feel his wet and sturdy chest in place against your spine.

“surprised to see me?”

“you know i can’t let my baby talk shit like that.”

really? that’s his issue at hand here?

“so which is it?”

“acting like an intolerant brat because you’re tired or ‘cause you wanna get dicked down?”

gojo loops his arm underneath your leg, bending it up. you almost topple over in the process and you lay one hand flat against the tile.

“don’t answer that. sometimes it’s so obvious that you’re such a whore for my dick.”

“huh?! what the shit are you saying?” you snap at how correct he is.

gojo yanks your face back, digging his fingers into your cheeks as he forces you to face him. it almost sends your neck into two pieces, straining to look back at him.

“oh, really princess? just the other day you were begging me to fuck you”

“remember that? couldn’t wait so you rode me in the car? you know, baby, all you gotta do is ask.”

your legs tremble and psyche wobbles when he pries your mouth open with his thumb, promptly before spitting into it.

“don’t bother with the bullshit. i’ll play the games, not you.”

he drags his hard cock against the curve of your ass, slapping it against you.

“i don’t think i feel like fuckin’ you right now.” gojo sneers, humming sardonically. his lips quickly latch onto yours when you spin around to meet his gaze. like the fucker he is, gojo moans and whines into the kiss- lips ravaging you whole and tongue capturing your essence.

“baby girl, i was gonna let you top me. you know i don’t let anyone do that.”

his long middle finger prods against your cunt, forcing itself in with ease.

“damn, you’re soaked. you really wanted to milk me dry that bad?”

you hate him. hate him so fucking bad. he flashes you that attractive smile of his, azure eyes sparkling and snow white hair disturbed with water.

gojo pulls his finger out before sucking onto it in front of you, lapping all the excess arousal off.

“i’m not playing with you tonight.”

toji

- i literally don’t even need to say anything here

- just be sure to make a hospital check up appointment or something

- um-i uh- please remember to breathe after this one? maybe touch some grass? ALSO my first time writing for toji AAA i hope he’s okay

maybe if you don’t breathe? nah, that wouldn’t work. there’s still air acting around your limbs when you move so you’d be disturbing the barriers there. let’s see… maybe bit by bit? surely if you slowly inched his shirt up? then again, wouldn’t toji chew you out halfway through? maybe you should just give it to him straight up? just slip your hand under his shirt. come on. but he looks so peaceful, sleeping like that.. long eyelashes fluttered closed, lips relaxed and not scowling. his eyebrows are softly arched. he looks so soft, lips parted, chest rising and falling with every breath.

fuck it. just do it. cuddle him already.

you muster up all your courage in one fell swoop and you bend one leg over toji, resting it just above his groin. your right arm sprawls out over his chest and your hand rests against his toned arm. he’s already sleeping with one arm bent up with his hand supporting the back of his head, so you utilise the free real estate to nestle your head in the crook of where his shoulder and collarbone meet.

when he doesn’t move after a while, you deem your life to be safe and exhale with ease.

“you’re not asleep.” toji states in a groggy, husky tone. it’s supposed to be a question, but, coming from him it almost sounds like a challenge.

“yes?” you squeak out meekly.

“‘yes?’ you asleep or not?”

“i can’t sleep again.” you murmur against his shirt and he exhales a small sigh. the arm that you’re clinging onto moves to draw small circles on your thigh that rests on toji.

“when’d you notice?” you inquire, glancing down at his large wrists.

“like five minutes ago. nice try, kid.” toji snorts indifferently, chuckling at your behaviour.

when you don’t make an effort to respond, toji’s interest peaks and he lets out a small hum of intrigue when he follows your gaze.

he turns his head, brushing his lips up against your temples.

“see anything interesting down there?”

“as a matter of fact-“

you nestle yourself in between toji’s large and built thighs, digits curling around the waistband of his boxers. he only smirks at you through the dark, cock twitching through the fabric. you notice toji hover his hips up so that you can slide his boxers off for him and you happily oblige.

“-i do.” you chime, licking your lips.

it’s cute, though, if you thought toji was gonna let you handle him like that all by yourself.

as you kiss a trail up his thick shaft, toji yanks ahold fistfuls of your hair before grabbing your face off of his cock.

“who said you could suck my dick? that’s real cute.”

“thinking you actually have a place in my house.”

“i didn’t train you to be such a depraved slut. know your fucking place, because this isn’t it.”

“how many times do i gotta tell you? you don’t belong here. look around. do you see anything that shows a woman lives here? no? that’s because you’re nothing but a fuck doll for me.”

toji hisses out profanities at the gag you spew when he slams your tiny little mouth back down on his dick.

“lose the teeth you imbecile. unless you’re trying to tell me that you can’t suck my dick properly.”

incessant whines and garbled sentences are muffled by toji’s cock. whatever remnants you had of your vision are nothing but a blur as tears stream your cheeks, nose running and sniffles resurface in a repeating pattern over the slick sounds of slurping and gagging. your mouth stretches as far as it can go and the corners of your lips shriek in despair. you can feel the skin there stretch and pull beyond what’s considered normal.

even through all that, you manage to glance up at toji through your water logged lashes. you’ll be a good girl for him. you need to be.

“fuuuck. that’s a pretty sight.” he grumbles and a deep chuckle resonates through his chest. within a few moments, toji fumbles to reach for something.

you can only wince and screw your eyes at the suddenly blinding flash of a light in front of you. one can only assume he’s taken a photo of you in your humiliating state.

you can feel the fear settle into your veins when that telltale ping of a message being sent vibrates throughout the room. if you were to listen hard enough, you could hear a notification go off in the next room over.

your throat feels raw, jaw tense and locked open. it’s been a good twenty minutes of toji face fucking you to teach you a valid lesson. it’s all in the will of him wanting to drag this on, savouring every miniscule slurp, whimper or gasp. when his strokes start to feel sloppier than usual, you can’t help but feel relieved.

as you squirm about due to toji shooting hot ropes of his thick cum down your throat, the door softly clicks open.

“megumi. you’re just in time.”

“she’s way more obedient than your mom ever used to be.”

[babbushka]

Biting Dust - Ch. 5

Life ain’t too easy for a woman, ‘specially not a woman on the run like you. With a bounty on your head and gunpowder in your nose, you’ve grown adjusted to a life of solitude away from the hustle and bustle of civilization. That is, until you meet one particular man who’s got a face you’d only ever seen in your dreams – or on wanted posters. And when he offers you a proposition that sounds too good to be true, well. You don’t think your life will ever be the same again…

Outlaw!Kylo Ren x Reader

Tumblr Masterlist | Available on AO3

6k; Warnings: Attempted assault, attempted murder

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Red clouds of earth kick up behind your horse’s hooves as they gallop far past the town line, hootin’ and hollerin’ all the while. The wind whips your hair around, your bonnet flung right off your head, held onto your person only by the wide ribbon that’s kept it tied ‘round your throat. Adrenaline pumps through your body, makes your vision spotty, makes your heart beat fast fast fast, ridin’ like lightning away from Ragrock.

Kylo’s right beside you, makin’ just as much damn noise as you, his crooked teeth gleamin’ gold in the blazin’ Arizona sun. You ain’t never see him grin this big, as he shouts and jeers too, challengin’ the canyons and the desert, darin’ them to take this moment away from the both of you.

“I can’t fuckin’ believe you!” You laugh, voice nearly gettin’ lost in the wind, cheeks hurtin’ from the way you’re smilin’ so much, “Goddamn you’re so -- so -- stupid!”

Kylo laughs at that too, a deep rumblin’ sound that feels so much like thunder that you’re sure it’s shakin’ the earth. Or maybe that’s Sam and Agnes, the way they’re throwin’ their heads back and whinnying and stampin’ their hooves into the caked dirt below. Either way, it’s a good sound, one of them sounds that makes you ache in your bones; you can’t remember the last time you heard someone else laugh so genuinely.

“Yeah?” He finally decides to slow Sam to a halt, and you do the same, tuggin’ on Aggie’s reigns to get her to calm just a little bit, the horses powerful legs comin’ to a gentle trot, both you and Kylo gulpin’ down air.

“Yeah. Why the hell did you bring us through there knowin’ there was bad blood?” You reach into the saddle bag and pull out a canteen, measurin’ a careful sip or two of the fresh river water, before decidin’ to pass the jug over to Kylo himself.

Gratefully, he takes the same size sip as you, and you think that’s mighty chivalrous of him once again, on account of he’s a much bigger person than you, and should clearly need more water. Still, you don’t protest when he hands the canteen back to you, the lid screwed on nice and tight to avoid spillin’.

“It was the only place I could think of that’s close enough.” He shrugs, and you frown ever so slightly at that, knowin’ that really, as long as you stay close to the Colorado River, you’ll have just about anything you need.

Well, almost, anyway.

“Close enough for what?” Your curiosity gets the better of you, especially when he starts rummagin’ around in his own saddle-bag for somethin’. You lean over, tryin’ to be nosy and get a peek inside, but he only clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth, and you duck your head, embarrassed at bein’ caught.

“For this,” Kylo doesn’t make you wait though, pullin’ out a couple boxes of bullets, but much more importantly, “And these.”

When Kylo pulls out the burlap sack filled with coins, your eyes widen. Right there in his fist has to be over five hundred dollars in gold and silver, more money than you’ve ever seen in one place save for the banks you burn. It makes your mouth go dry, and you wonder how he got a hold of it all, if he took it from the cash register by force, or if he stole it discreetly.

“Holy shit, no wonder you were takin’ so damn long.” You urge Aggie a little closer to get a better look, darin’ to stick your hand in the bag and scoop up a handful of the coins. They were heavy, heavy and real.

“I figured you wouldn’t be opposed.” Kylo speaks quietly as your hands let the coins fall between your fingers, clinking together back in the sack. He gives you the sack then, lets the weight of it rest in your hands, clearin’ his voice, “We’ll need it for Ruby City.”

Without a thought, you push it back into his hand. He was the one who had stolen it, it belonged to him. Yes you were out of money, your own coin purse completely empty, but...but you had more pride than that, to accept someone else’s hard earned coin. Even if he had earned it wrongly, it was still his.

Besides, you reckon as you shake your head when he tries to give it back once again, Kylo was right -- it’s less suspicious to travel with a man, and if you’re traveling together, he better be the one to handle the money.

Kylo seems to read your thoughts, and he just nods, before taking a couple coins out and handing them to you, fifty bucks weighin’ on your palm.

“Just take the fuckin’ money.” He says with a small smile. “I won’t hear any ‘no’, it’s yours too, for helpin’ me by distractin’ the townfolk.”

You sigh, and reluctantly put the coins in your own small purse. For the first time in a while, the fabric is bulged out and heavy. Kylo puts the burlap sack back in his saddle-bag, and you resolve to ignore its existence until you need him to pay for a room at an inn somewhere.

“Should’ve warned me that you knew the damn bartender.” You scold him then, a little disgruntled that he had kept that information from you. If you were going to be a distraction, you would’ve liked to know exactly who it was you’re distractin’. “Should’ve told me y’all hated each other.”

You don’t tell Kylo that you were flirtin’ with that Armitage, certain that he wouldn’t like it. He sure as hell didn’t like it when Amos was gettin’ a little too friendly with you, anyway, and he was just a stranger. To your surprise though, Kylo scoffs out a laugh, and fishes out his old cigarette from the inside of his boot, lightin’ it with a match and puffin’ smoke through his nose.

“Hate?” He’s got humor in his voice as he urges Sam forward, needin’ to get back towards the water’s edge before the sun sank too low in the sky, “Nah, Hux and I go way back. He’s a good friend.”

You level him a dirty glare at that, if only he had told you he coulda’ saved you a world of panic! You think about the way that Armitage shot out his own windows, the way that Kylo managed to murder Armitage’s brother without any guns of his own, and all the damn fallout that came from it.

“Didn’t seem to be actin’ like a good friend when he was aimin’ his shotgun at your face.” You point out, thinkin’ to yourself, men are so goddamn strange.

Kylo laughs again, and you find yourself growin’ dangerously used to the sound, so you just sigh and shake your head. He smokes and smokes, both of your horses leadin’ you closer to the water, havin’ galloped away from it ever so slightly.

“He likes when I come rollin’ through, trust me. He always complains about how quiet his lil’ town of Ragrock gets, likes to give the folks somethin’ to gossip about every now and again.” Kylo explains, patton’ Sam’s neck and flashin’ you a gold-tipped smile.

“So he really wasn’t going to kill us then?” You raise an eyebrow at him.

“Oh no he probably would’ve if I let him.” Kylo answers quickly, “‘Specially after what I did to Brian. But he’ll be fine with it in a couple weeks once folks tell him I wasn’t the one that started nothin’.”

You stare at him for a little while, and he can feel the weight of your gaze on him, but he only gives you a crooked smile and a wink. You weren’t so sure what that wink meant, but if you had to guess, it could really only mean trouble.

“You’re somethin’ else, you know that?” You lick across your teeth to prevent yourself from smilin’ and givin’ him the satisfaction of knowing that he entertains you. The grin he gives you tells you he knows it anyway.

“Nothin’ that you can’t handle though, I reckon.” Counterin’ with a slight smile, Kylo ducks his head and blushes, and that alone is enough to make you tap your heels against Aggie’s hide, to get her to go gallopin’ down the canyons again.

-----------------------

Some hours later, when the world around you starts to cool off from the settin’ of the sun, you and Kylo set up camp near the river. He had gone ahead and scouted the spot out, made sure there weren’t any folks who had already laid claim to that particular stretch of the bend, no one that could go cousin’ any trouble.

There was more than enough money now, to buy new stocks of food whenever y’all got to the next stop along the route, but that didn’t mean that you were about to let Kylo blow through the supply. So instead, you ask he hunt you down another rabbit for dinner, which he does in less than a half hour, impressin’ you once again.

It’s quiet, out there by the river. The sky has faded to a gentle purple, the silvery moon high in the sky. You’ve got a fire made, nothin’ too big or roarin’, just tall enough to heat up the cast-iron pot that you’ve got hangin’ over it by an iron stake. That rabbit is stewin’ in the pot, along with some water, beans, cut up carrots and a little bit of rice. You stir the pot, listenin’ to the sound of the river as it trickles past.

The sweet sound of a harmonica sounds then, and your gaze snaps up to see Kylo with the instrument against his lips. His eyes are closed, and he’s breathin’ nice and even, the high tune of a melody makin’ your throat choke up. It was a tune you knew all too well, once upon a time, a long time ago.

You stir the stew, chewin’ on the side of your cheek, until somethin’ in you compels you to sing. Your voice is a little rusty, but it doesn’t deter Kylo one bit, in fact, when he catches wind of you singin’ along to his tune, he plays a little louder, a little clearer, switchin’ to the harmony as you take over the melody to the sad cowboy song that you once used to teach yourself,

"O bury me not on the lone prairie."

These words came low and mournfully

From the pallid lips of the youth who lay

On his dying bed at the close of day.

He had wasted and pined 'til o'er his brow

Death's shades were slowly gathering now

He thought of home and loved ones nigh,

As the cowboys gathered to see him die.

"O bury me not on the lone prairie

Where coyotes howl and the wind blows free

In a narrow grave just six by three—

O bury me not on the lone prairie"

"It matters not, I've been told,

Where the body lies when the heart grows cold

Yet grant, o grant, this wish to me

O bury me not on the lone prairie."

Kylo sets down his harmonica then, and you blink away a light mistiness in your eye. It ain’t good to dwell on the past, you know, but sometimes, times like these, you can’t help but think ‘bout it. Kylo’s blinkin’ away somethin’ too, you notice, so as you stir the stew and determine the rabbit and vegetable and rice are all as cooked as they need to be, you ladle a big bowl for you and for this man who has become the closest thing to a companion you’ve ever had in your life, and you take it over to him.

He doesn’t move, doesn’t speak, not for a while. You simply sit down next to him, as close to him as you’ve gotten since that time in the river, and hand him the bowl and spoon. He accepts it gratefully, his own gaze cast into the fire, and not for the first time, you wonder what’s goin’ on in his head.

After a couple bites of the stew, you rest your head on his shoulder. It’s a tentative motion, a hesitant one. Kylo holds his breath, you can feel it in the way he tenses ever so slightly, but he doesn’t tell you to move, and that’s as good of an invitation to stay as any, you reckon.

“You can’t go lookin’ at me like that, by the by.” Breaking the silence, you slurp down a spoonful of stew yourself, lookin’ into the comforting vision of the flames which flicker and flare gently in front of you.

“Hm?”

“If we’re meant to be cousins,” You explain, voice soft and kind, knowin’ that you’ve been too hard on him these past couple days. “You can’t be givin’ me those eyes of yours. Folks might see through the ruse.”

Kylo surprises you by shruggin’ with his other shoulder, his cheeks crinklin’ into a smile. His dimples crease, and he chews on his lip a little, keepin’ his eyes down as he blushes.

“Folks marry their cousins all the time, it wouldn’t be so strange.” Kylo nearly whispers, almost like he’s afraid to speak the words, rushes quickly to try and change the subject as soon as he’s said it, “Hell, my mother almost married her own damn brother on accident -- but that’s a long and complicated story.”

“Oh so we’re married now.” You smile, feelin’ the heat rise to your own cheeks. It’s less of a question and more of a statement, the way you say it, and you find that against your own better judgement, you like the way it sounds. You like the idea of it, and that makes butterflies spark up in your stomach, a feelin’ you ain’t so used to.

“We could be.” Kylo doesn’t dare look at you, idly stirring his bowl, “We could pretend, anyway.”

You think for a second about what that might be like -- but then you shake your head a little and sigh, “I made a promise I’d never be a meek housewife.”

“Ain’t no one here callin’ you meek.” Kylo reassures you, and now it’s your turn to duck your head, to rest it against his shoulder a little more. Your heart beats wildly in your chest, you wonder if he can hear it out there in the quiet of night.

“Be my cousin, for just a little while longer.” You whisper, a silent plea to just give you some more time, “Until we make it to Ruby City.”

“I can’t get a good read on you.” Kylo hums, and you’re relieved to hear that he’s not got an angry or disappointed edge to his tone.

He really does respect you, you realize all of a sudden. Maybe it’s foolish to come to that conclusion so soon, so quickly after you’ve met him, but you can’t help but come to it nonetheless. He’s done nothin’ but respect you this whole time, and you don’t know what to do about that. It’s never happened before.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You ask, a hint of a smile on your lips.

“It means that you’re the most mysterious damn woman I’ve ever met.” He replies easily, a smile on his own.

“I have to be.” Shrugging, you eat another bite of the stew, wishin’ you had some spices to throw in it. You hope Kylo doesn’t think it’s too bland -- before growin’ bashful again, at the thought that you want him to enjoy your cookin’.

“Why’s that?”

“Because the more people that know about me, the less safe I am.”

“I told you -- ”

“I know, you ain’t gonna hurt me, I know.” You interrupt him, before sighing, wondering if you were really going to do this, if you were really going to tell him. “That’s not what I meant.”

Kylo senses a shift in the air, a change in the atmosphere, and his teasing playful smile melts into something a little more somber, more serious. He watches you, and waits for what you have to say, and you decide that what the hell -- if you couldn’t tell Kylo, you couldn’t tell anyone at all.

“I didn’t always used to be an outlaw, you know.” Setting down your bowl of stew, you fidget with the hem of your blue dress’ skirt, and look into the fire, your memory transporting you to a place and time that felt like a million years ago. “There was a time, a long time ago, that I was a school teacher, in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere Utah...”

-----------------------

You were young, when you started teachin’ at the school. It had always been your favorite place when you were growin’ up, and when the teacher herself got married and moved away, you jumped at the vacancy at once. This was the only way a young woman like yourself could earn a living with her clothes on, you knew that, and though you were barely older than the students that came to your classes, you took your job seriously.

It had been a bright sunny morning in Spring the day you turned sixteen, when the bells tolled for all the school children to come rushing to your door. Standing outside the single room schoolhouse, you had a cheerful smile on your face as you welcomed the students that you had come to love and care for, as they bounded up the few steps and into the wooden building. Ranging in age from as young as five, to as old as twelve, two dozen students took to their seats, fresh faced and recently washed, hair combed for their lessons.

“Good mornin’ class!” You walk to the front of the room once the bell finishes tolling, picking up a piece of chalk and writing out the first line to a popular sea shanty turned folk song, your delicate cursive spelling, ‘O Bury Me Not On The Lone Prairie.’

“Good morning Miss (L/N)!” The class responds in happy unison. One of your students, a young girl named Wendy quickly gets out of her seat to place an apple on your desk before hurrying back.

You smile at her, at all of them, having grown so fond of this mis-matched group of kids that have been placed in your care for the weekdays.

“I trust y’all had a good weekend?” You ask them, met with a chorus of overlapping affirmations, and you chuckle at their response to immediately wantin’ to tell you all about everything they did on their days off. “Good, I’m glad. Now if you would buddy up and please take out your textbook, we’ll pick up where we left off on Friday.”

The McGuffey reader was your go-to book to teach the children with, it had everything you needed -- reading, writing, and arithmetic that was easy enough to understand by even the littlest of your students. It was broken down into repetition, phonetics, and even had lines to trace the letters and numbers, but more than that, it was the book you yourself had learned to read by, so you were familiar enough with it.

“Who would like to be the first to read what I’ve got written up on the board?” You ask, once they’ve all opened their books to the appropriate page, a handful of eager students at once clamoring to volunteer.

And so, like any other day, the morning turned to afternoon, and the afternoon turned to evening. When the bells rang to dismiss the class, the children groaned, knowing that meant they had to go home where their family would likely put them to work in the field or in the kitchen for an hour before supper.

“Thank you for another wonderful day children, y’all be good for your parents now, you hear?” You try to encourage them to cheer up, even if it did warm your heart that they liked learning from you so much. “Oh, Rickie? Could you come here for a minute? You’re not in trouble, I promise.”

Sitting at your desk for a moment, you saw the earring that you had stashed in your drawer from the evening prior, and you fish it out as the ten year old skips over to you, his mousy brown hair flopping around as he does. You smile, thinkin’ that he might do to ask for a trim when he gets home.

“Yes ma’am?” Rickie stands before the desk, and you hand him the earring, his eyes going wide as he recognizes it.

“Could you do me a big favor and deliver this to your Mama? She must’ve dropped it here last night and I’m sure she’s goin’ crazy lookin’ for it.” You smile, and he nods happily.

“She sure is! Earned myself a smack upside the head I did, when she thought I snatched it from her dresser!” Rickie laughs, clearly glad to have been vindicated.

“Well I’m sure she’ll be sorry when you bring it back to her, let her know I was the one who had it, not you.” You smile back warmly at him, but he’s already runnin’ out of the schoolhouse, callin’ another thanks and a goodbye behind him as he goes.

Only a moment or two before the last of your students are gone, is there a knock on the door.

He doesn’t wait for an answer before coming in anyway, and you look up with a frown to see who would be so rude as to invite themselves, until you recognize the sheriff and put a forced smile upon your face.

“Hello sheriff, how are you this fine evenin’?” You present yourself as politely as possible, as the man’s spurs clink while those heavy boots of his walk across your floors, trackin’ mud in from the outside with little care.

You didn’t like him, the sheriff. Didn’t like the way you caught him starin’ at you sometimes, didn’t like the way you caught him starin’ at the girls in your class. He was one of the oldest fellas in town, maybe three times your age. He’s starin’ at you now, eyein’ you up and down in a way that makes your skin crawl.

“I’m doin’ well honey, thank you.” The sheriff chews on some tobacco, a habit you can’t stand, before pointin’ out the door behind him and askin’ with a stern voice, “That boy wasn’t givin’ you any trouble, was he?”

“Rickie? No of course not, he’s a good kid.” You’re quick to reply, not wantin’ to cause any trouble for the young farmboy. You and the sheriff look at each other for a moment or two, before you grow more and more uncomfortable, busyin’ your hands with the worksheets that’ve been left on your desk to grade. You clear your throat, “Is -- has somethin’ happened?”

“Naw, I just wanted to come by and see ya before your night class starts.” The sheriff’s spurs clink clink clink over to the desk where he sits himself down, right on the wooden table-top.

“Well, here I am. Can I offer you somethin’ to drink? Coffee?” You try your best to be polite, hoping that one of your night students -- adults from the town who never got to go to school when they were young -- might show up and come to your rescue.

“Not tonight, thank you.” He replies, making you sigh out with relief against your better judgement. He doesn’t notice, instead you can feel his gaze on your chest, “But, if you’re free this friday evenin’, I’d love to take you up on that offer.”

“Oh...I see.” Bile rising up in the back of your throat, you shake your head and try to reject him as politely as possible, voice clipped yet firm as you move from around the desk to the chalk-board where you erase the children’s lesson and prepare for the adult’s. “Sheriff, I’m sorry but, I’m not quite interested in seein’ anyone at present.”

“And why’s that?” He doesn’t leave you alone, and you begin to panic with the way he’s steppin’ closer to you, knowin’ that if he traps you against the board, there won’t be a clear path to escape.

“Well it ain’t allowed for a woman to be datin’ while she’s a schoolteacher.” You explain, your voice starting to wobble.

Something about that makes him chuckle, somethin’ sinister, his blackened teeth from all that damn tobacco too close to your face when he grins.

“Must be awfully lonely,” Sheriff runs his hand up your arm, “Missin’ the comfort of a man at night.”

“It’s not.” Your body shudders in revolt, and you try to side step him, blood pounding in your ears, eyes wide in distress as you feel sweat bead up and trickle down the back of your thigh, “I appreciate your concern but -- ”

“Let me just get one kiss then.” He doesn’t let you go that easily, grabbing your arm harshly and dragging you over to one of the desks where he pushes you with a rough shove. His hand grips your cheek too hard, forcing your mouth to pucker as you fight him.

“Sheriff, I said no -- please get away from me -- I don’t -- don’t touch me!!” You knee him hard straight in the groin, your panicked scream alerting the adults who had thankfully, miraculously, decided to show up for evening class early.

“Miss (L/N)!” A couple of cattle ranchers kick the door open and run to your side, tugging you away from the sheriff who laughs loudly. You smell the stench of alcohol on him, realizing he’s drunk as all hell, and cling to the strong rancher, tears threatening to spill over your eyes.

“Don’t you ever fucking touch our teacher again!” One of the ranchers, a nice man named Francisco, holds you tightly, protectively. You always liked Francisco, he treated you like a daughter he never got to have. The other, Jedidiah, stands firmly next to you, so ready to lunge at the sheriff that you can’t help but feel immense gratitude towards them.

“Everythin’s just fine son, run along now.” The sheriff chuckles, but neither Francisco nor Jedidiah move a muscle.

“Sheriff I think you need to leave.” Mustering up as much of your courage as possible, you speak clearly, willing your voice not to shake as the safety of Francisco’s arms give you strength, “Class begins soon, I’m sorry.”

The ranchers stare the sheriff down, and he stares back, before noddin’ with a sick understandin’ that you reckon means this won’t be the last you see of him. Spittin’ his tobacco onto the floor, that same floor he sullied with the mud under his boots after the children had so lovingly cleaned it with you, the sheriff turned on his heel and left, pausin’ at the doorway for a moment to send you a dark, threatenin’ chuckle, “You will be.”

“Are you alright Miss (L/N)? Did he hurt you?” Jedidiah takes his cap off and kneels in front of you, tryin’ to appear as non-threatenin’ as possible. Francisco releases his hold on you, and checks you for any marks or signs of stress, but you just let out a shudderin’ breath and shake your head. You’re not sure which question that’s meant to answer, but they don’t press you.

“Who do we call when the sheriff’s the one acting out?” Francisco wonders aloud, and you feel like there’s lead in your belly, because he’s right.

The only way you’d likely be able to avoid the sheriff and his wrath would be to leave town altogether, and well, you couldn’t do that. Who would keep after the students then?

There wasn’t any trouble during the lesson that evening, much to your satisfaction. The later it got in the night, the more you felt relieved, surely if the sheriff was going to cause trouble, he would’ve done so by now. Your students can tell that there’s something off about you though, a few of them approachin’ you after the class was done, wonderin’ if there was anythin’ they could do.

In hindsight, you wonder how different your life would’ve been, had you asked to stay with one of them for the evening, or had you asked one of them to stay with you.

The chokin’ woke you up, before anythin’ else. Smoke, thick black plumes of it pouring out of the windows, the doors. Smoke in your lungs that had your body joltin’ up and out of the little bed up in the attic where you lived above the schoolhouse, had you rollin’ onto the floor in a panic.

“No!” You shout, as the heat of red orange yellow flames begins to lick up the walls, eatin’ away at the wood structure of the building, the whole thing two steps from bein’ a blazin’ bonfire out in the field, “Oh god, oh god no!”

Frantic, you run, mind going blank, trying to focus on grabbin’ the important things, only the important things; a photo of your family, the money out of the dresser, a copy of your favorite book. That was it, all you had that you could think to grab, before trying for the door.

The handle burns, and you scream, shaking the pain away from the blisteringly hot doorknob. You’re fucked, oh you’re so fucked, you think as you back up enough to barrel your way through the door, the wood shattering and splintering. The fire reached all the way up to the attic, there was nowhere you could escape. You could jump out the window, but you’d break your neck landin’ on the hard ground. Outside, someone yells, revelin’ in the way that you scream.

“If I can’t have you, ain’t nobody gets to have you, hear that? You hear that bitch?” The sheriff cackles tauntingly, and the fear of death drips icy cold down your back, compels you to run as fast as you can down the wooden rickety stairs, into the blaze.

If you can just get out, if only you can get out of this building, maybe you’ll survive, maybe you --“No!”

One of the stairs has shattered beneath your feet, your foot stomping straight through it, trapped. You cough and hack up the smoke, it’s stinging your eyes, it’s in your lungs, soot in your mouth, you can’t see, oh god it’s so hot, the flames are surrounding you, and your foot is stuck through the stairs.

“Please, please come on you’re strong enough for this, you have to be strong enough for this, come on.” You sob, willing yourself, yanking your foot out in harsh movements as the laughter screeches around you in a drunken stupor.

Eventually, in all your efforts, the structure of the stairs give away entirely, and you try to grab onto something as the floor falls beneath your feet, sending you crashing down into the classroom below. The fire’s taken everything here; the wallpaper, the tables and chairs, even the shiny apple that Wendy sat on your desk, all reduced to ash, cracking and spitting in the flames.

You’ve hit your head from the fall, you can’t move. Somethin’s pinned your legs, you can’t feel nothin’. At least there ain’t any smoke down here, all of it risin’ up up up through the building. The smoke pushes the bells, make them toll. You wonder if they’re callin’ the Reaper, tears slippin’ down your cheeks.

“All the books, oh the poor children.” You whisper, thinkin’ of them all, watchin’ as the textbooks singe to nothingness, knowin’ that soon your body will follow, “Who’s going to teach the children?”

-----------------------

Kylo’s arm is around you, you realize, out there in the present. He’s stock-still, face gone pale, somber. He’s crying, you realize, jaw clenched tight, the muscle in his cheek flexing from the force of it. You’re crying too, wetness on your face. You watch as a tear plips into the rabbit stew, and you’re not entirely sure if it’s one of yours, or Kylo’s.

“The rest of the town came to my rescue, once the flames got so bright you could see ‘em from across the fields. They thought I was dead, when they found me.” You clear your throat, rememberin’ the details of the story that you had only found out after the fact, “I was covered in soot, breathed too much of it in, I wasn’t wakin’ up. I later found out that the sheriff didn’t let them give me a funeral, just told them to stick me in a coffin and gave me a shallow grave.”

Kylo remains quiet, but the arm around you tightens. You’re reminded of Francisco then, how he had protected you. You wonder where he is, what he’s doing. If he ever got to have a daughter.

“I was glad for that part at least, it wasn’t too hard to dig my way back out when I woke up. I must’ve only been there for a couple hours, the dirt wasn’t packed tight or nothin’, thankfully.” You sigh, not knowing when to stop, now knowin’ how to do any of this, how to be vulnerable like this. You ain’t had to be vulnerable in a long, long time.

“Must’ve been out of my mind, I had never thought about killin’ anyone before, you know. I was more angry about the loss of the school than I was for my own life, if you can believe. I hunted him down, the sheriff. He thought I was a ghost, and he hid from me. I found him in the end, doused him in kerosene and lit the sonofabitch on fire right on his front porch.”

You lean your head on Kylo’s shoulder, and ever so gently, he rests his cheek against you back.

“I was sixteen then, and “I’ve been burnin’ shit down to the ground ever since.” You whisper, voice almost lost by the trickle of the river as it flows down to Colorado.

“I’m sorry.” Kylo says, snuffling into your hair a little bit, holdin’ you close, a silent promise.

“It ain’t your fault.” You reply, fightin’ that sour feelin’ in the back of your throat, nudging your face a little closer into his neck.

“If I had been there, I would’ve helped you.” He says, even though you both know that there ain’t no changin’ the past.

“You’re here now.” You pull back enough to look at him, really look at him right in the eyes.

“Yeah, I am.” He nods.

You wonder, sometimes how life might’ve been different, but after all is said and done, this is the life you’ve got.

Kylo lies down then, one arm extended out from his body, an offer.

You don’t think twice about it, when you lay down next to him, your head usin’ that arm as a pillow. It wraps around your shoulder, tuggin’ you to Kylo’s chest, and for the first time in a long time, when you sleep, you don’t dream.

"I've always wished to be laid when I died

In a little churchyard on the green hillside

By my father's grave, there let me be,

O bury me not on the lone prairie."

"I wish to lie where a mother's prayer

And a sister's tear will mingle there.

Where friends can come and weep o'er me.

O bury me not on the lone prairie."

"For there's another whose tears will shed.

For the one who lies in a prairie bed.

It breaks me heart to think of her now,

She has curled these locks, she has kissed this brow."

"O bury me not..." And his voice failed there.

But they took no heed to his dying prayer.

In a narrow grave, just six by three

They buried him there on the lone prairie.

And the cowboys now as they roam the plain,

For they marked the spot where his bones were lain,

Fling a handful o' roses o'er his grave

With a prayer to God his soul to save.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

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Taggin' some Kylo lovin' friends!

@mochabucky @sacklerscumrag @artsymaddie @bitchydecisions @direnightshade @reyloaddict55 @thembohux @kylorenswhxre @sunflowersinthesnow @babayagakeanu @safarigirlsp @steeevienicks @materialisthicc @hswritingrecs @rosi3ba3z @chapterhappygirl @schopenhauerdeathsquad @loverofallthings @groovetoob @bxnnywriting @angel-bxby3 @smallgirlbigpersonality @lovelyyy-luna @2000andwhat @raddo1975 @cornmousequeen @metsienmenninkainen @caillea @painttheskylineforme @holding-on-to-starwars @kylo-ren-is-alive @caitlin-was-here @icarusinthesea @princessflip @goddessofsprings @mrs-gucci @baubub @bucky-j-barnes @mindyoshiii @beachwoodmonet @darkhairedmenrule @eagerforhoney @nekonaomitard @einmal-im-traum @justlenastuff @0nihiime

[genesisrose74]

Christmas With the Karasuno Boys (HC’s)!!

Part 2: Kageyama, Hinata, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Kinoshita, & Narita

Part 1 (Daichi, Suga, Asahi, Nishinoya, Tanaka, & Ennoshita) here!

A/n: Tumblr said my word count was too much so I’m splitting this bad boi up into two parts :p Enjoy!!

*****

Kageyama

This boy has a secret soft side for Christmas istg

He HATES showing it to other people on his team and shit

But holy bejeezus he is mesmerized by the holiday in every way possible

Lights, sweets, snow, just like,,, the general magic of December is the most awe-inspiring thing to him

Since he is still a sporty and pretty active mofo, you decided to fuel that on your holiday-themed date as Kags had noted that he’d never gone sledding before

Your jaw was on the FLOOR when he first told you because he would 10000% enjoy the hell out of it

And so you dragged him out to this popular sledding hill that you frequented as a child and taught him what to do

Not gonna lie, he was kind of nervous

“Well you’re experienced at it. I don’t wanna mess up”

🥺🥺🥺 bubby

“You won’t, Tobio! I can already tell you’re gonna be a sledding pro”

Feels a little better after that, but he asks you to help him out for his first run down the hill

He sits behind you with his arms secured snugly around your waist and his head nestled on top of your shoulder

Which would probably seem really funny to passerby because this boy is tol and intimidating in most other situations

As soon as the sled started down, Kags tightened his grip and made this cute little yelp of surprise

But you were laughing insanely hard at the combination of going really fast downhill whilst also having your boyfriend cling to you for dear life

And then when the sled stopped safely at the bottom he started to chuckle

FULL ON, GENUINE SOUND OF ENJOYMENT

That shit is rare

Y’all stayed at that hill for half the day because it was so fun

You got him a new, very high quality athletic roller for Christmas because his old one was just not cutting it anymore

And you also gave him this really cute bracelet with a volleyball, his jersey number, and a little strawberry milk set of charms attached to it

It matched this really pretty and subtle chain he’d bought for your birthday

His blueberry eyes got all wide with affection dfjdskfjsdk—

Got super blushy and couldn’t get a handle on his speech for a fat minute

He thinks you’re the coolest person ever no I do not take criticism

Geez you’re both adorable together, ideal “stoic boy becomes warmer during the holidays around his love” movie plot and I love it

Hinata

He is all in on Christmas. Not a chance this boy doesn’t get excited as hell

Will openly go into holiday mode as soon as November is over

Was secretly already listening to his Christmas playlist before then

He is one of the sweetest gift givers, that is FACTUAL

If you want something really badly, he will take notice and get it as your present immediately

He’ll also gift you an extra thing that’s handmade 🥺

Like some pastries that his mom helped him make, or a specially made basket of soaps with your favorite scents in it

It’s absolutely adorable and you cherish those ones especially

Is happy if you simply get him something; mans doesn’t care what it is

New practice volleyball? A brand new sweatshirt? Elated either way

You had seen an advertisement for a friendly match between Japan and Poland’s men’s volleyball teams, so you waited online on the ticket sales website until the minute it opened

Spoiler alert: you got some banger seats 😌✨

Shoyo may or may not have tackled you when he read the ticket details, letting out his excited giggle (you know the one)

“I can’t believe you got these, angel! You’re coming with me, right? You’ve gotta! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Gives you sweet little kisses between each individual ‘thank you’

“Of course I’ll go with you, Sho! I’m really glad you like it!”

He will give you the brightest smile of all time — that shit makes Christmas lights pale in comparison

“Have I told you how much I love you?”

RIGHT BACK AT YOU BBY

Hold his hands to warm up together when temperatures drop pls :)))

It’s become a weekly December tradition to watch a Christmas movie with Natsu at the Hinata household

She’ll sit in your lap while the three of you are cuddled under a blanket together, and Shoyo will lace his fingers with yours all discreetly

In conclusion, I am a sucker for holiday Hinata 🥺🥺🥺

Tsukishima

His room is decorated to the very minimum simply because his mom and brother had insisted on him being festive

You know those holiday instrumentals that are really calming and jazzy and stuff? Yeah, that’s the only Christmas music he will tolerate in his house

While he’s still got his usual icy demeanor, this blond bitch does get slightly less snippy with the Karasuno boys

Is always on the nose with getting you the exact thing you wanted for a present

Like,,, TO THE SMALLEST DETAIL

You don’t even have to bring that shit up beforehand, he just KNOWS

“Tsukki, how did you—?”

“It’s pretty obvious, with the way that one ad kept showing up on your phone.”

b r u h

How does he pay such good attention without even letting on??

As for his own present, you’ll usually get him two: one gag gift and one more serious gift

His dino plush collection size is partly due to the former’s contributions this time of year

Yes the dinos have names

You exchanged gifts on Christmas Eve with all the team (you made him go) and he saved your more serious one for last

It was a scarf that you’d gotten custom made, which had a Spotify code knitted into the fabric

Scanning the code opened the app to a playlist you’d created especially for him

He got pretty quiet when figuring it out and scrolling through the playlist

Would let out a certified Tsukki Nose Exhale™ when he came across certain songs

The more subdued reaction was expected because it’s Tsukishima

His little chuckles and warmer eyes were enough of a giveaway to tell you he very much enjoyed your gift

But on the walk home, he took the scarf and wrapped it around you both, and then brought his arm around your waist

“Thank you.”

You deadass almost combusted because it was so unexpected??

“You’re welcome. Merry Christmas, Kei”

Way to respond calm and collected 😌👍

But on the inside your body was in freak out mode

He wears the scarf all the time jdfsklfjdsk

Yamaguchi

Take the most tooth rotting fluff you could imagine

And then double that and put a fucking cherry on top

That’s the equivalent of what Christmas is like with Yama Yama

Y’all are like kids in a candy store — literally

For your Christmas dates it’s all about sweets and shared giggles, so frequent trips to the candy and baking isles of the grocery store is a must

Making gingerbread houses, peppermint tasting (mostly trying those different and wild ass candy cane flavors), you name it and it’s there

Stomach aches? I don’t know her

Yeah you do but they go away with enough butterfly kisses 🥰

Tadashi is exceptionally good at decorating gingerbread houses for whatever reason

He put a poll on his instagram between yours and his final products and he won by a landslide

It’s not like yours was necessarily bad, more like he’s just an icing master

You also might have eaten too many gumdrops which left your rooftop lacking in ✨spice✨

But it’s okay because Tadashi donated some of his leftovers to you

He’s such a sweetheart uwu

Please for the love of everything get him something heartfelt as his present

You know those long distance bracelets for couples?

Basically if your s/o taps the icon on the bracelet it’ll send a little vibration to the other person’s as a notice that you’re thinking about them

This boy seeks constant reassurance, and you love to give him his deserved love and validation, so it was the perfect present

It takes a second for him to figure out what it is, but after reading the directions and testing it out, the most adorable smile erupted on his face

And then since you already had yours on, he tapped the little icon again with a giggle

“Hey there”

It becomes common habit to tap it at least once every couple hours

GOD HE IS SO CUTE

He is just so soft this time of year, give him all the love and he will return it tenfold ☺️

Kinoshita

This boy is absolutely an awkward cutie and an avid romantic

Give him the cliches and he will eat em up, no doubt

It naturally gets more apparent around the holidays

He’ll take you on pretty winter walks, give you lots of little gifts (while blushing a hell of a lot), and is just a professional at stumbling upon some mistletoe

Wow wonder how it got there, Hisashi

He’s quite a bit more confident when simply alone with you than in a crowded space

And that definitely shows when he takes you out on a secluded sleigh ride around town

Yeah you heard me

A fuckin’ sleigh ride

Horses and blankets and everything

Don’t even ask how he managed to pull it off, because he loves watching the cogs turn in your head and simply will not give you a straight answer

Of course there’s the nice driver guy who’s there, but in the back alone Kinoshita’s confidence goes 📈📈

Lots of flirting, tons of skimmed touches and shared giggles throughout the ride

I legitimately simp really hard for him

Anyways it was a gorgeous ride through town and super fun

On Christmas Eve you both exchange gifts together and tbh whatever you got him will leave him happy and flustered regardless

But when he opens the wrapping paper to find an entire set of vintage VHS tapes, he’s stunned

He owns a VHS (actually canon!) and honestly loves it to death, and the fact that you’d get him tapes of pretty high quality for his collection meant a lot

Gosh he’s so underrated but a definite sweetheart, give him all the holiday love

Narita

Another underrated bby 🥺

He’s so chill and is pretty open to anything during the holidays, so long as he gets to spend ample time with you, his friends, and his family

Definitely more of an indoor person despite being accepting of most situations

Hence why you thought a cute little indoor winter picnic would be right up his alley

Which it absolutely was 😌✨ nice work

You’d made plans while in secret communications with his family members about the whole thing

He’d been pretty stressed lately with trying to handle his schoolwork, while also helping out others with theirs

Despite being a wonderful tutor, it was clearly becoming a bit overwhelming as he tried to grapple with so much at once

So when he came home one day to find a pristine house with you settled on a blanket in his living room, he was quite surprised

There’s a cheese plate, soda cans in a cute ice box, sandwiches, snacks, a presparked fireplace — you and his family went all out

Really adorable I cannot lie

“I thought you said you were going gift shopping today?”

“I might have maybe lied :P”

So he gives the sweetest little smile and sits across from you

Y’all stay there and talk for hours

After finally getting through everything previously laid out on the blanket spread, you slid him a little rectangular box that he looked at curiously

“Already? I haven’t wrapped yours yet!”

“Mine can wait a bit! Just open yours”

And so he does, and you watch with a face-splitting grin as he looks down in awe

You got tickets to see his favorite rock band in concert while they were on tour

He sprung onto you and pulled you into the tightest hug ever

“Holy shit you’re the best I love you so much how do you get even more loveable every day—!?!l”

It’s a jumble of words but you’re able to put it together and it makes you giggle

He deadass sprints upstairs to go get your gift and make sure that you feel as equally appreciated as he does

In simple words: wholesome holiday sweetness 🥰

[qhorinhalfhand]

OK SO i was on a call with my friend a few weeks back and we started talking about our old favorite books - i adored the ender’s game series in middle school. now i know the author of that series, orson scott card, is extremely homophobic so we memed on him for that. we were looking to see if he’d released any new books and found his blog page that had been updated last like 6 months ago. there was an ask function!!! i had sent him something like 10 years ago on there talking about how he inspired me and his books were amazing and they changed my life, yada yada yada. he never responded so i figured it was dead. so i say “Are you still a raging homophobe? If so, are you aware that Petra Arkanian was my lesbian awakening in 6th grade? If not, now you are. Have a good day and please stop being homophobic. It really hurt my feelings when I found out because you were my favorite author :(“

ok i know i should have a screenshot but honestly i hadn’t slept in about 36 hours when i sent it and thought it was the funniest shit in the world. and no that character was not actually my lesbian awakening, i just thought it’d be funny to mention. i finally went to bed shortly after sending it and completely forgot about it. and then the next day i got a response.

holy. shit. this is the worst possible response. sorry, ms card, did you mean the gay character that settled down and got married to a woman and had children for the good of society, the one that molested a 15 year old, or that rework of hamlet where they were all gay bc they were molested as children?

in response i wrote a decently lengthy, very personal letter. the general gist of it was that while anyone can change and i’m willing to believe he has, it is disrespectful and harmful to deny that he ever needed to. i also brought up that i was reading his books at an age where i was first discovering myself, and that an author i looked up to thought i shouldn’t have the same rights as someone else, that i should be “made an example of” if required (an actual quote from him circa 1990)...that was harmful to my development, my self esteem, and my self worth. i know it’s kinda ridiculous, but it did affect me, specifically because that series changed me and how i think about people.

i honestly didn’t expect her to respond again because my letter was very personal and it would be very difficult to brush off. but she did respond. and boy, did she brush it off.

yep. she went for the ol’ “we have gay friends” and sent an article from the fucking american conservative. jesus. and as if that wasn’t insulting enough, she pasted the whole goddamn article in the email body as if i can’t click a link. fucking hell. and yeah, we have political differences. boy fuckin’ do we. but he’s also a raging homophobe. ms card, those are not mutually exclusive. there’s so much wrong with this email that i could pick it apart until i hit the text limit on tumblr, but i think you all can tell. we’re all gay here, we know this bullshit.

anyway i didn’t respond because i’m not getting in a fucking flame war with my old favorite author’s wife over email. and i know conservatives are touchy - if i’d responded again she’d probably get a restraining order.

[writeiolite]

hi io! i just the saw the your answer that you read smuts rn 👀👀 do you have any recommendations for those us to read if you're comfortable with it? thank you :)

hi ye ofc! ^^ i read a lot of bnha darker themed stuff so heed the warnings ofc! also i rly prefer to read on ao3 since it’s easier to find stuff so all the links are my bookmarks from there. feel free to tag the authors if they have a tumblr bc i would love to support them there to!

you can find my tumblr recs (though it’s sparse) at @readiolite!

The Fic that made me cry and go numb and it soon became my comfort fic to read every night and write essay reviews about...!

one of the first fics i enjoyed on ao3 aka when i realized i would never read light smut again

one day, someone asked me “what do you think about @kazooli?” and i thought kazooli was a type of pasta . . . but apparently i bookmarked this before that without knowing i enjoyed a fic from A Noodle.

literally do not talk to me about anything else except @tainted-wine‘s hawks stories. there is a whole masterlist just for hawks, but i first found their writing through here and when i tell u..... i was changed... i read this probably 3-4 times and picked it apart to figure out why i liked it so much bc it’s so good and inspiring djfghkjs

im now realizing none of these are haikyuu. that’s fine. here’s something i read last night that gave me good memories :3

BRO HOLY FUCK OMG EVERYTHING BY JUPITERSWITCH ON AO3... I LITERALLY BINGE READ FOR A DAY OR TWO WHEWWWW but specifically this toshi fic bc im a sucker for somno and pet stuff always reminds me of the bts fic days, this brobaku fic bc i already know im going to hell so i might as well read smth nice, and my BIGGEST fav!!!!!

ok wait no... now im going to hell

i cannot fucking tell u how many time i read this... i’ve picked it apart 32948 times and just read it over and over bc it’s so good despite feeling so short wowowowoow... good things never last </#

this was it. this fic absolutely changed me. i jumped on the natsunii train so fast bc of @natsuosfairy​ and just.. wow. another fic i reread often bc of the inner turmoil and tug-o-war and just FUCKIN WOW i cannot believe im blessed with this.

hmmmmm..... don’t ask how i got here. i can’t tell u. i don’t even know myself

where is it holy fuck where is the hawks fic with the phone call what the fuck whㄷㄱㄸㄷㄱㄷㄱㄷ

this has stuck with me. i don’t even have to reread it bc i have this shit memorized

reading “wanted” altered my life so bad i fell down a horribly long rabbit hole and passed by this

my bookmark note on this is “why do i think about this often” and i still don’t have an answer but ig that means @ratmonky​ is doing smth right

i cannot speak after this. this was so immersive and the imagery was out of this world. sometimes i think it actually happened — that’s how good this was

there is an aizawa smut... im so mad i can’t find it but i think it’s on ao3? werewolf au, yandere aizawa, y/n goes into heat and to make her get close to him, he helps her with her heats a few times but the current heat he doesn’t until she’s willing to come out of her room and be with him. if i find it i’ll edit this! if someone else knows what im talking abt pls send///// no jk i found it. ofc it’s jupiterswitch; i have a type.

i found a haikyuu bookmark????

hi yes here is the hawks phone call fic. i will say nothing else. just know that this is totally canon and once u read this (and wine’s fic) u will never think of hawks the same

and again, u can find a few more on @readiolite !! i have more bookmarked but this is getting longgggg

[youmakemestrong]

the bee tattoo was wild bro. like that shit was crazyyyyy. it was like a quieter dagger 2.0 and we really talked about it for AGES and called harry the queen bee and had the bee represent louies and then harry fuckin went out and got it like. holy shit. he DID THAT. also like it was a cutesy little bee it was a big angry ugly one and i love him for that lollll. xxxxx, e

oh ! and ps i’m like 1000% sure i sent one last night and i think it was actually two even? but tumblr probably are it because it sucks like that. xxx

literally i am still committed to getting that bee tattoo when they *** ** i can’t believe harry is the biggest larrie ever

also i answered this one first just to say that i got yesterdays i just didn’t have time and i suck but i’m here and i’m gonna answer it now gdnoskgksg

[pacmanthepeach]

tumblr user @dreamsclock has made a simple post which has cursed and plagued me with Thoughts, and I am tired enough atm to actually type them out lol (and it’s late enough that I can post it n then go snzz and forget about it which is nice lmao), so here is a list of some of my thoughts bout hp houses for a couple of the dsmp characters lmaooo, I’ll try n do a read more cause this is much longer then I wanted it to be but idk how those work on mobile so if it doesn’t work then too bad have fun scrollin lmaoooooooo

(Prefacin this by sayin that the main setup I use for houses isn’t the same as the actual hp one, the one I use has like, primary/secondary houses and stuff like that, I yoinked it from a personality quiz I did one time that I thought was fun lmaooo, so if anyone reads this n wants a better explanation just lmk n I can link it lol, but basically it’s Primary House is about motivations, and Secondary House is based on Methods, and a couple other things I’m not gonna explain atm cause I can already tell I’m gonna type Wayyyyyyyy too much so I’m tryin ta cut down on it lmaooooo)

Aight so, first of techno ravenclaw primary, I’m not even gonna explain that one just look at him lmaoo that’s a ravenclaw if I’ve ever seen one lol, and for secondary I think he’d be gryffindor cause he’s got the determination and the dedication to his morals/ideals, with a ravenclaw model, cause mans is smart lmaooo

Wilbur I’m thinkin maybe burned slyth primary? cause that’s like, someone who ideally would be motivated by and want to prioritise a close circle of trusted people, but has for whatever reason decided that that trust isn’t worth it, and without that priority they often focus the aimlessness that comes with into more like, “moral” causes or whatever, which I think vibes with him p well, and then I think a slytherin secondary, it’s kinda about usin social connections/other people to their advantage by being adaptable or possibly manipulative, and like just look at the man that fits him lmaooooo

Big Q I’m gonna say maybe gryffindor primary? And then later on shiftin to more of a burned gryff one. Like, at first hes determined ta do what he believes is the right thing, but then as time goes on he kinda loses his idea of what that means to him, n starts ta take on more and emulate more of other people’s ideas and values instead. and I’m thinkin huffelpuff secondary with a slytherin model picked up around when he started goin off the shits lmaooo. Huffelpuff secondary is like,, being dedicated n dependable, investin in other people/developing a good reputation, havin people support them cause of it, n it’s bein overlooked/underestimated n havin that + the rep mean they can slip their way into bein trusted with important info n jobs cause people just assume they’re the person ta trust, which I think fits with him durin like, manburg n shit v well, n then him changin to the more negative side of the slytheriny shit later on

Schlatt I’m v torn on, but atm I’m leaning slytherin primary with a gryffindor model, so valuing the determination to an objective/cause, (in this case being like, the fuckin country he took over ya try n improve n then do a p shit job of it lmaoo) but under that being v like, self motivated n shit lol. And I think just a regular slytherin secondary lol, I was debatin a ravenclaw model or somethin, but I dont think it fits overall lol

I can’t imagine Slime bein anythin other than like,, a goop blob wearing all 4 house uniforms at once, but ignoring that I think just like,, Full Huffelpuff, maybe with a tiny bit of ravenclaw in there? But mostly huffelpuff lmaooooo

Philza I’m a bit less sure on, but I think either burned slytherin Or burned gryffindor, cause those 2 can be v similar, but either way I think he’d be burned cause holy Shit mans been through a lot n that stuff would affect either of those options. I think for a secondary maybe,,, gryffindor with a huffelpuff model, I don’t know if either of them would be burned, but they’d probably be close lmao. They’re both about like, determination and dedication, but the vibe I get is hufflepuff is more about calm and steady determination, and about working hard and gathering resources/power, while gryffindor is more about efficiency and drive, and being more straightforward and direct, and both of those feel like they could fit him p well lmao

Ok it’s late as shit so I’m not lettin myself write anythin else here so that’s all the characters I’m doin lmaoooo, if I come up with any more tomorrow then I might make another post?? Idk tho, I’m not actually that caught up on like, dsmp characterisations or on dsmp in general, so idk how many more characters I’d have thoughts about lmaoooooo

[keyofjetwolf]

Bonus Question Answers! (anime heat 3)

I asked a silly question! You gave me incredible answers. SO VERY MANY INCREDIBLE ANSWERS. If yours is listed below, you’ve earned an entry in a random draw to win a GIFTENING liveblog OF YOUR CHOICE

SURPRISE EVERYONE WHO ANSWERED THIS ONE GETS AN ENTRY (with extra entry if you pulled a specific line). This has been such a struggle for me for the past ... you know, million years or something, and each of you made me feel so good, thank you. ♥

—

Q: This is reaching back into the memory a bit, I know, but what's your favourite of my fanfic? (BONUS BONUS ENTRY if you pull a specific line!)

*  i cannot remember a specific line off the top of my head but i remember the post-S series dealing with usagi's trauma from pharaoh 90 (sound of silence?) was a gut punch and a half --  anewconstellation

~~

* "Blue shirt. Pearl buttons." I think this was the first time I read you writing the Outers, particularly Neptune and Uranus, and, uh, holy shit. Absolutely note-perfect dialogue and dynamic, particularly for that period of Sailor Moon S when Michiru and Haruka used intimacy of speech and gesture as an instrument of distancing and obfuscation (of their goals to the Inners, of their hearts to themselves and to each other, of the heli-pad to the staff at Mugen Academy, etc). It was so clear, and so clearly *them* that I could actually hear the intonations of their respective seiyuu. And then to deploy such spot-on character elements in combination with the stakes and the maturity the anime never reached for, my WORD, are you trying to kill me??? The pacing, the restraint! What an absolute gift. You're a wonder. (also your drabbles are fuckin peerless, and the BTL concept is such a clever series framework)  -- @rasiqra-revulva​

~~

*  This was so hard to pick from, but I finally settled on "Cause and Affect" - it's such a heartbreaking story, but the juxtaposition between the clinical lines of information from the computer to the memories Ami is dealing with to the horror of the visuals around her... it's so bright and sharp and PRESENT.  It keeps me in the story, that mix of tones and feelings.  And the final line?  Perfection.  "Number of regrets: none"  What an amazing take on Ami and how she processes information and how she deals with the situation she is in.  I still get chills up my back when I read the story.  -- @amberlilly​

~~

*  I love your Between the Lines series, it's how I found your Tumblr and liveblogs back in the day -- @amboato​

~~

*  Author Alert.  “So never, ever, going to live this down.” -- @crunchbuttsteak​

~~

*  "Of her word" quote "But for all that, it remained sand. Rei erased it with one swipe."  -- Dei

~~

*  Between The Lines. Adding further character/emotional depth to canon is YES PLZ. I really liked the whole idea of Usagi having trauma post-Pharaoh 90 and all the chapters that hit on that. On a less serious note Chibs' circus-related PTSD and freaking out when Hotaru wants to go to the circus kills me every time. ("But your precious dreams Hotaru-chan!")  -- forgottenfae

~~

*  This is probably the obvious choice, but "The Sounds of The Silence" has haunted me in all the best ways since I first read it. The way you write Rei, Usagi, and Rei and Usagi hits me right in the heart every time. This particular fic, with Usagi so traumatized, and Rei being as soft and gentle as Usagi needs, will always stick with me. I pulled up the fic to try and narrow down a single line, and ultimately there's no real debate. "She would never stop trying to do more, but for now, she simply did this." That line is, at its core, the essence of Rei Hino. And it is perfection.  -- gatorsandglitter

~~

*  I don't expect this to win at all, just sharing,, but I just super fondly remembered the goggles and all the amazing content, meta, and fic those inspired, both from you and others  -- @goosebytrade

~~

*  "You Win or You Die"  my favorite line is "She and Rei WOULD have The Moment, they WOULD get their thousand years of bliss, and they WOULD be making out after all this was over. Like, SO HARD."  -- @i-needa-nap-please

~~

*  I'm always really bad at answering questions like this because my mind has pretty much become a goldfish in my old age and I have a hard time remembering specific fics; it all sort of starts to jumble up in my brain and things get lost. But I have always loved reading your writing, it's what got me onto this godforsaken website in the first place -- it was just before Crystal dropped, and we were all foolishly full of hope and excitement, and you were going through the Moon Pride video and waxing poetic about the FRIENDSHIPS and I was like, "YES! Finally! Someone who understands why I love this stupid kids' show!" I think I sent you an ask saying this before, (but who knows if you ever got it, Tumblrs being what they are - indifferent) but I tried reading fanfic and even published novels based on properties, like the Buffy novels and Star Trek and Star Wars novels, for a long time, and mostly found it frustrating and annoying and just... wrong. It always had this awkwardness and clunkiness to it that didn't do anything for me and just constantly screamed "THIS IS A FANFIC IT IS NOT REAL WRITING" at me. Didn't like it. But, I liked yours. Yours didn't feel awkward or clunky. You have never written any sentences like, "Rei watched the blonde stand up" where "the blonde" is Minako, and I don't know why fanfic writers think that calling characters "the blonde" or "the redhead" or whatever is sexy or cute but it ain't (sorry, pet peeve tangent). So, when you were writing stuff more, I would read it like it was going out of style, and you led me to Doc's writing, which had the same natural, "this is real writing" quality, and I loved hers, too. Anyway, my favorites of yours have always been the Between the Lines stuff. I just love the "hidden" moments that we didn't get to see. The Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead bits of Sailor Moon (speaking of fanfic that actually works) that bring so much depth to characters we know and love already or to characters we see only briefly. Also, the Shadow Senshi, because FUCK. Just... Kill Me. In any event, I know that writing has been difficult for you of late, and I know how that feels, so I hope that people who are actually able to answer this question have given you some places to go and draw strength from so that it can become part of your life again. TBH, I've been using the bonus questions on your Giftening surveys and Doc's 8 Days surveys as an excuse to try doing some small bits of quick, no pressure, nobody's gonna see it unless you or Doc actually LIKE it, don't think about it writing, and it has been helpful. I hope you can find something that gives you the same opportunity. Now that I've written you a novel that doesn't even answer the question you asked (goldfish, remember? *sigh*), have a gorgeous Tuesday!  -- @incorrecttact

~~

*  The one with Pluto and Queen Serenity, where Serenity is selfish in a very Usagi way, but her arrogance combined with that selfishness makes it a fatal flaw? I liked that one a lot. -- Jules

~~

*  the bit you wrote to 'fill in' a gap for why during r did mamoru act like a distant jerk. My favourite parts were Rei coming to see the same dream, and despite being the one to have the biggest reason to believe in these kinds of prophetic visions, Rei still doesn't believe fate is set in stone. -- just... a fan. a well-baked one

~~

*  Make It To New Year's -- @kaleidodreams

~~

*  ahhh, where is a link to all of your fanfic? It's the series you started after S, with Rei comforting Usagi, because like you I was let down by the fact that they never followed up on what Usagi saw, or even how she dealt, with the end of S. runner up: the one where Usagi is about to give birth because everything you write with Rei and Usagi is amazing. -- kari

~~

*  There was a drabble/draft/something that you used one of my prompts for, and I prompted you with Usagi and Rei, but you did it from Luna's perspective and THAT WAS SO UNEXPECTED and it turned out SO GOOD cause like!!!!!! You made Sailor Moon both someone Luna cares for, because still the legacy of the moon, and someone utterly discouraging for her because *this should not be*, and wow what a way to make it both about Usagi herself and about her powers.  -- katrani

~~

*  I love the btl fics, they fill in the missing gaps, add depth to the story, and sometimes smooth over things (SuperS) when canon is just...blah. One line I really liked was: “I was listening, at first, but then I started thinking about how hungry I was, and how a pork bun would be really good right now, and then I wondered what makes a thing a bun, and like, if you put ANYTHING in a bun, does it become a Thing-Bun, so could you make a bun out of another bun and would it be a Bun Bun, and wouldn’t that be the greatest thing to– Rei?” It's a great run-on, stream of thought sentence that just really catches Usagi's voice, is hilarious, and such a natural progression. -- @kumeko

~~

*  “HUG,” Usagi demanded again, because dammit, she’d been promised a hug and SOMEONE was going to deliver. (The one where Michiru has the hiccups. Because it's fun HaruMichi stuff, because it weaponises Usagi in a useful way, because it manages to (gently) make fun of both perfect!Michiru and saint!Usagi without being mean to either character, and also because I get hiccups a lot and I haaaaate them.) -- nerdy-flutterings

~~

*  I can't remember a specific fic, but I LOVE your Shadow Senshi headcanons and they're the main reason I started writing my own Shadow Senshi stories. -- @notesfromtheidiotbox

~~

*  The Figuarts saga is the Sailor Moon fic I never knew I needed -- Raye

~~

*  Special Delivery is a delight. So much Rei Certainty (that ends up being misplaced). So much Usagi being The Most Usagi About Pregnancy. So much Comedic Hijinks, because why the hell WOULDN’T ‘the Senshi get blindsided when Usagi goes into labor’ end up going full screwball? There’s a lot of great lines there (Rei’s theory about Chibs taking control of the Gate of Time and manipulating things is fantastic, as is the ending,) but my favorite is definitely “Rei Hino if I give birth to my daughter on the side of the road I swear I will go back in time and tear all the pages out of your favorite coloring book! [...] I’ll break the crayons too, Rei-chan!” Delightfully specific and childish, especially since Usagi sticks with it, and that particular brand of comic specificity is definitely a highlight of yours. -- Regalli

~~

*  Fire on Mountain!!! When I got to “Her voice was deeper than most expected when facing the certainty of her. It was rough, sandpaper running over cherry. She’d been a singer, once. Nobody would have believed her.” I was like oh. OH! -- Sasha

~~

*  My favorite of your fanfic, one one of the first I read is 'Hard to Break'. And my absolute favorite line is Usagi's panic when Minako tries to smoke: "Minako who was almost certainly dying, the cigarette had spread its evil and killed her instantly oh god."  -- @shavedjudomonkey

~~

*  Tonight Ami would grieve, and wish she understood why.'  This Between the Lines about Ami getting her mini computer both haunts me and brings tears to my eyes.  -- @shonasof

~~

*  I can't remember the title, but it's the one where Minako realizes that Rei's been writing Sailor V fanfic under the name Red Bow -- Somariel

~~

*  You would think Mako-chan's Happy Ending, but nope, this one goes to Hard to Break (although I had to look up the exact name.) This thing is filled with such great lines. How am I supposed to pick out one? "[Watch out, boys,]" Minako said in smooth and entirely unnecessary English. "[Lady Super Cool is on the prowl.]" -- Ultrace

~~

*  I forget the title, but it's the 'last senshi standing' fic where Ami is reflecting on the battle that took the others from her. Detatched and cold as she analyzes Rei Minako and Mako and finally Usagi's death with a medical efficiency, going through her Visors readout and then reflecting that the clinical words were nothing compared to what she'd actually seen. following up the method of death of the senshi with a statistic in relation to her friendship with the girl. Number of milkshakes shared, number of conversations lasting well into the night, number of hugs, number of smiles that brightened the darkest of moods. Describing how Rei's heart was pulped in a monster's grip, Minako's once beautiful face smashed against the rocks, Mako's lightning that outlived its mistress as she and Usagi ran off, and then finally that one last attempt to protect Usagi failing as 'Cervical Fracture' flashes on her visor. And From there she just... accepts death. sitting beside where Usagi had fallen and waiting for the end. it's dark af but it's the first one that always comes to mind when i think about ur fics :>  -- Vega

~~

*  I am extremely predictable here with two of my choices, as you know that I am obsessed with Fire on the Mountain and Blue Shirt, two things you wrote when you "definitely couldn't write" (Sidenote: My new year's resolution is to be harder on your about writing) We all know why I love blue shirt, it's basically an underhand pitch to the face for me, but Fire on the Mountain has a quality of regret and longing that I really connected with, something that really struck me in a way that was powerful. It's different from a lot of your inners work, and I think about Mina posing as Rei, in her disguise magic in the woods, and all the reasons why, fairly often. Something that MAY come as a surprise to you, is I really wish we got more ofyour overwatch stuff, and maybe I'll just keep asking for this for my birthday for the rest of our natural lives, but I think of like, the one you wrote on 7/14/20, with Pharah longing to have a man to shoot in the face because that would be easier than the emotions around whatever's going on with her, and I'm utterly tantalized. And I loved that hurt/comfort you wrote for me, where Pharah had this single minded drive to find out what had happened to Angela, and Tracer's trying to, well, comfort her, on some level, and the way you described Pharah's "animal cry" was FANTASTIC, and as always I am deeply jealous of your Tracer voice and IF YOU WOULD WRITE IT MORE IT WOULD HELP ME. -- WRITE, BITCH.

~~

*  The one were Hotaru confronted Michiru and Haruka about how they had tried to kill her in order to stop the Silence. Such a good little moment =w= -- zorrito

~~

AND THEN THESE WERE UNSIGNED SAD FACE

*  Chosen. I like your Overwatch stuff but Chosen was a goddamn masterpiece.

*  Operation: Heart Angels. Senshi going after Mamoru for his bullshit was something I didn't know I needed.

*  The entirety of Beggars Would Ride, including every single line of Anya's dialogue.

—

I’ll be drawing for the bonus liveblog around the start of THE GIFTENING 2020 (currently looking to be Monday, 11 January 2021). Each bonus question is another chance to earn an entry! I CAN ABSOLUTELY AND SHAMELESSLY BE BOUGHT.

[ginny-rose-sixx]

What the Fork? Ch 1

Story Summary:

Eva Rozlyn "Roz" Roberts accidentally time travels when she fiddles with her time turner while watching The Dirt. She ends up in 1981 in the Mötley apartment. How will the Crüe react? Will she ever be able to get back to 2020? Will Roz be able to handle their way of life? Will she ever be able to control the time travel?

A/N:

I decided to start putting my story ‘What the Fork’ on Tumblr in addition to AO3 and WattPad (11 chapters). I wanted to organize my writing some more. Since I plan on this being a very long book and I want to make it a series, I want to take notes on my chapters so that I avoid continuity errors. Also, if I find any grammatical errors that I missed I will fix those. With the notes and everything, I thought that I would start putting this up here as well. As time goes on, I may do alternate takes on chapters and stuff like that. 

Oh, and the title is a bit of a funny story. When I first was trying to come up with a title, I asked for my boyfriend’s help. I told him the premise of the story and a summary of the first chapter. The first words out of his name were, “What the fuck???” And I was like, “Ok, there we go.” Of course, I wasn’t gonna swear in the title even though I do in the story. So, I decided to make a reference to the tv show ‘The Good Place’.

Pairing: Not disclosed to reader yet

Warnings: swearing

Word count: 1886

Chapter One

Eva Rozlyn Roberts, aka Roz, was sick of waiting for her friend to pick her up. She was supposed to be going to her first ever convention. She was dressed as a Gryffindor witch. She started to fiddle with parts of her costume. First, she was twirling her Newt Scamander replica wand for a while. *Why on Earth am I still waiting for her?* Roz wondered. Roz put her wand up her sleeve, and she tried calling her friend Katy for what felt like the 100th time that day.

After the voicemail picked up again, Roz decided to start watching The Dirt again. She had lost track of how many times she had watched the movie and listened to the songs since the movie came out. As she watched the movie, she took out a time turner necklace and started twirling it in all of the different directions. *I wish I had never agreed to go with Katy. She always forgets about me or bails.* She dropped the necklace and started to braid her hair.

 About an hour into the movie, Roz had already braided her hair so that it hung over her left shoulder. Her hair was black and it had deep red highlights all throughout. When she started twirling her time turner necklace again, a faint blue tendril of light started twisting around her fingers and slowly working its way up her arms. Before she even noticed it, the light was covering the entirety of her forearms. She immediately stopped playing with the time turner and started to panic. *Time turners are NOT even real! I cannot deal with this. I just turned 19 and I have to move soon. Fuck! What’s gonna happen to Hope?* The blue light had engulfed her and no matter how hard she tried; she couldn't get the time turner out of her hands. The last thought she had before she blacked out was *I hope she’s safe and that I’m at least gonna go somewhere fun.....*

 *******************

 The guys had just finished agreeing on a name. Mötley Crüe was finally a reality. They kept drinking together and didn't pay any attention to the strange blue light emanating from under the table. After a few hours, Tommy exclaimed, "Dudes, the only thing that could make this better would be for a chick to be here!"

 After a pull from his beer Vince laughed and asked, "Where exactly do you expect a chick to come from?"

 Mick growled sarcastically, "In a ball of light ya dumbass."

 Tommy's eyes lit up with teenage enthusiasm. "Ya really think so Mick?"

 Nikki just laughed and said, "He was joking dork."

 By then the light had waned and then, all of a sudden, it flashed back out from under the table. It engulfed the Crüe and Vince screamed. Once the light was gone Mick was shocked. "Seriously, I was joking about the light. What the fuck's going on under the table?"

 Tommy ducked his head under the table and immediately popped his head back up. "Dudes, I can't believe it.  I think I drank too much! There's a fuckin chick under the table!"

 Nikki cackled "T-bone quit fuckin around! Is there even anything other than trash under there?"

 Tommy glared and pouted "I'm not joking. Just look for yourself dude!"

 Mick grunted in pain as he got down on the floor and saw the strangest thing. There was girl who was maybe in her older teens. Her sudden appearance wasn't the only strange thing. She had unnatural black and red hair that was braided. She was also in what looked to be a school uniform. She had a red and black plaid skirt, knee high socks, odd combat like boots, a black blouse, a dark grey cardigan with a lion crest on it, and oddest of all a cloak. Mick decided that they needed to at least get her out from under the table. Maybe wake her if possible. "Nikki stop your cackling and help me move her to the couch."

 "Fine, fine" Nikki said as he rolled his eyes.

 Tommy and Vince moved the table and Mick carefully lifted her head and shoulders with a grimace while Nikki got her legs. Once they got her on the couch, Vince decided to bail to his girlfriend’s place, "Sorry, but I'm not sober enough for this shit. I'll be back later."

 Tommy leaned over the girl and asked, "Where do you guys think she came from?"

 Nikki shrugged, "Fuck if I know. Wake her up and see."

 Tommy started to poke her in the cheek. She mumbled "...5 mur min mum..." Tommy giggled and then decided to poke her sharply in the side. The girl's emerald eyes flew open as she shot into a sitting position.

 She screamed and flailed her arms which resulted in smacking Tommy in the face. "What the fork? Son of a bitch! What kind of asshole jabs someone they don't know in the side? Seriously, what the fuck?!"

 The guys looked at her with wide eyes and then at each other. "Well Mick you're the one who said a chick would come from a ball of light.  What do you think we should do with her?" Nikki asked.

 Mick chuckled "Your apartment, you guys figure it out.  I'm gonna just drink more."

 Sitting up fully and looking around the room, the girl was disoriented.  "She's right here and she even has a name! She also wants to know who you guys are and where she is," she snapped at them.

 Tommy sat next to her on the couch and responded, "Well I'm Tommy, that's Nikki and that's Mick. You are in our apartment."

 "Well theirs" Mick said pointing between Tommy and Nikki with his bottle of Jack.

 "Now your turn" Nikki said pointedly to her.

 Roz nervously tucked her legs under herself and hugged her knees. Looking down at the floor Roz said, "I'm Roz, that's all you're going to get from me right now. I want to know what city I'm in and what year it is. I've learned from books, TV, and movies that fresh out of a ball of light you figure out where and when you are."

 Tommy's brow knitted and he said, "Um its 1981 and you're in Los Angeles. Uh I guess that means I should ask you; where and when are you from Roz?"

 She looked with wide eyes between Mick and Nikki before settling back on Tommy. "Please don't freak out," she said quietly. As she looked down at her boots, she mumbled, "I'm from Madison, WI, and I was in the year 2020. I was born July 1, 2001 so I turned 19 a week ago in my time.”

 Nikki snorted, and Tommy elbowed him before he interrupted, “Seriously dude?? You’re from the future AND from Wisconsin?? How the fuck did you get here? Also, why under the table?”

 “I have no clue Tommy, I was just messing around with my necklace and then POOF………” Roz trailed off and then stared wide-eyed at Mick, Tommy, and then fixed her eyes on Nikki. She had finally realized who she was with. “Holy fucking shit balls!!!!!! M-Mick Mars? T-Tommy Lee? …. A-a-an-and N-ni-Nikki S-ss-Sixx?” She continued stare at Nikki who, after a bit, narrowed his eyes at her before turning to Mick and Tommy.

 “How the hell does she know who we are?” Nikki wondered.

 Mick shrugged and Tommy laughed and said, “Wait dude, she’s from the future, right? We’re probably famous. Hey Roz is that how you know us?”

 “Shit, I shouldn’t have let that bit slip. This better not fuck up the space time continuum. I refuse to tell you guys about your futures.” She said wildly staring at Tommy.

 “Ok… ok… What should we do with her until we figure out if she can even go home?” Tommy asked turning to Nikki.

 “Well we can claim she is related to one of us,” suggested Nikki. “Hey Mick want a sister or a cousin?”

 Mick shook his head and chuckled slightly. “If she’s gonna be my cousin I wanna know her whole name.  So, lady teen, what’s your name?”

 “Seriously Mick? Lady teen? Ugh fine, my name is Eva Rozlyn Roberts. I prefer Roz though.” She looked between the guys and then around the disgusting living room. “So… um…. Where am I going to live? If I recall this place only has the 2 rooms and Vince and Tommy already share one of them.” She thought for a moment, *Honestly, I hope they say I have to share with Vince and Tommy. Sharing with Nikki would be nerve wracking.*

 “Seriously dude, it’s creepy how much you know about us. You can share the room with me and Vince. I know Nikki ain’t gonna wanna share.” Tommy said looking like a hopeful puppy.

 “I guess that works. I’m gonna need something other than my costume to wear guys. I can’t always walk around LA dressed as a character from Harry Potter.” Roz said.

 “Wait who’s this Harry guy?” Nikki asked frowning.

 Roz giggled, “He’s the main character from a series of books that started in the late 90’s. He is a wizard and goes to a magical boarding school. It’s my favorite series of books ever. Right now, I’m wearing the Gryffindor version of the Hogwarts uniform. I also have a time turner necklace and a replica of Newt Scamander’s wand.”

 Mick rolled his eyes, “ So let me get this straight. You just decided to dress like a wizarding school girl and then play with magical objects?”

 Roz’s face clouded over, “Well I was supposed to be going to a convention with my friend Katy. Bitch never actually picked me up. I was fiddling around with the time turner necklace while watching a movie. Then I was in a blue light and passed out. Seriously, magic isn’t real. At least it wasn’t until the time turner decided to spaz out and actually work.”

 Nikki smirked and asked, “Are you sure you’re not a witch? You’re already a time traveler. Why not be a witch too?”

 “Bro do you really think she’s a witch? That would be so cool!!!” Tommy turned to Roz and asked, “Do you think that your wand will work too?”

 Roz giggled, “That would be amazing, although I doubt it does. But damn is it getting late or what? Any chance we can go back over this after some sleep?”

 “Well Tommy show her to Vince’s bed. I think it would be hilarious if Vin came back while she was sleeping in his bed.” Nikki says lighting up a cigarette.

 Tommy turned to Roz, “I should have some sweatpants and a shirt for you to wear.”

 “Tommy I hope you’ve got some workout shorts because your legs are way to long,” Roz said as she followed Tommy. Tommy handed her some shorts and a t-shirt and pointed out Vince’s bed. “Thanks Tommy.”

  After Tommy left the room Roz shut the door and changed. She folded her clothes and stuffed them in the pillowcase, and she still wore the time turner and kept the wand in its sheath on her forearm. She laid down and her last thought before sleep claimed her was of how strange this all is.

[nirvhannahcornell]

Firstly I would like to mention this is NOT the real nirvhannahcornell, this is a burner account made to call out her questionable and horrible actions. The real nirvhannah is known now as “josiebelladonna” and can be found here: @josiebelladonna​. She changed her URL and didn’t save this one so I jumped on the golden opportunity. 

Some of you may be familiar with Hannah, you’ve probably seen her around on your dash, in the tags of your favorites. She’s there posting fanart and fanfiction, it seems all like harmless fun on the surface. But deep below there’s a grim fuckin reality, a reality no one is talking about. We’ve all sat back and watched her hellish meltdowns. Picking fights with her “fans” because they like her post opposed to reblogging them, getting in public squabbles with her friends over petty shit. We’ve sat back and stayed silent, but I’m not staying quiet any longer. I’ve tried sending her asks to explain herself and without fail every time she’s said tumblr fuckin “ate them” so the next best thing was a public callout. Let’s see the matrix glitch this shit.

The perfect place to begin with her fucking crimes have to be how she tries to push the idea that she’s mixed. I’m fully aware it’s fucked up to call someone’s race to attention like this, and I definitely wouldn’t be if she wasn’t completely faking and tossing racial slurs around like her lilywhite ass can claim them. To my knowledge and to the research I’ve done, Hannah isn’t mixed. Her dad and brother are fully white and so is she. She’s tried to claim having “african blood” and “native american blood” (of course she says I*dian but we’ll get into that later), but from what I’ve seen there is no “african blood”, I’m 100% sure she did a test on ancestry.com and saw she was .0000001% african american and decided to call herself mixed. The “native american blood” she claims to have is ALLEGEDLY from her great grandfather, but I’d take that fact with a grain of salt because she seems to be a compulsive liar.

(Note how her racist ass unabashedly says I*jun for everyone to see. But it’s okay guys, she’s 1/64th Native American!)

(Here she is claiming to be mixed race. Notice how she says “I*dian roots” and “African Blood”. That shit busted as fuck like what the fuck does she even…)

(Here’s some more posts claiming to have “black heritage” and then somehow making it about how Joey “talked about her” on a podcast. (I’ll get into that too (: )

This isn’t the first instance of her using racial slurs publicly for you me and god to see. We’re all looking and I wish I couldn’t see. Here’s a few examples. 

(“My I*jun boy” “I*jun orange” I literally cannot make this bullshit up.)

(“My I*dian beauty” “my favorite I*dian'' (she is also grungeandmetalfanfics btw!!))

She claims she can say these things, I guess because she’s .0000000004% Native American! Makes it a-OK! I guess because she has “African Blood” she can say the N-Word then? No? Oh well, she did it anyway! 

(Her argument, I’m guessing, is she can say I*jun because Joey (an actual Native American man) says it. Which makes no fucking sense because shes fucking white she can’t say it.)

If this wasn’t insane enough. As if it could possibly get even more horrible. She is overall just genuinely a bad person. If you ever supported her art with a like, you would know. Because apparently that shit peeves the fuck out of her. Even though you’re showing your support she loses her fucking mind when you don’t reblog anything she’s produced. (I don’t blame you it’s shit anyways) And then tries to guilt all of her followers into reblogging her shit. It’s manipulative and horrible. 

(this didn’t last of course she's too full of herself to stay away.) 

Note how she makes it seem like she was blessing us with her content. Did you know she existed before this? She plagues fandom tags with her shitty fanart and fanfiction thinking we should bow to her and be fucking blessed with her presence. Maybe we should, she claims to have a fond relationship with Chris Cornell!

Oh.. Wait…

(one of the 2 interactions she had with him, both pertaining to fanart she drew. He would do this often, respond to fans and their fanarts. This is nothing special)

(Her dad calling her out on her delusions) 

Don’t let her fool you. Her and Chris Cornell didn’t know each other, they weren’t friends. Chris had no clue who she was beyond the fanart she made for him. She’s literally so deep in this fantasy she’s insane enough to think she could’ve prevented Chris’ suicide. 

(She also believed ben shepherd was in love with her. She sent him a letter and he didn’t respond. Apparently he owed something to her because she opened up to him via letter and, as you would expect a famous person who definitely has someone who goes through their mail for them, he didn’t respond. I don’t know how in the FUCK she ever got the idea that he was in love with her. I don’t know what in the FUCK is wrong with her. She eventually got pissed because she found out he had a kid with his girlfriend? And apparently he was supposed to tell her? She’s fucking delusional look into that if you want, I don’t have enough time or evidence for that one, it’s certainly a lot.) 

A new installment in her delusions is the infamous Jasta Show feat. Joey Belladonna. It’s a 2+ hour long podcast where they mostly talk about the pandemic and what not, current events going on. Allegedly, in this podcast, Joey says Hannah’s name. 

I sat through the entire podcast (Joey says holy cow about 5 fucking times) and timestamped at 106:58 they start talking about Chris Cornell. To which Joey says “oh, we talked about him yesterday because some girl was drawing some stuff- she liked him a lot. and I thought about him too.” Nonspecific. Plain. There’s no fireworks or warmth or whatever the fuck. He mentions that and moves on. I’ve timestamped it for you all, the podcast is free to listen to, you can all listen to it yourself. (The Jasta Show 517 Joey Belladonna) Unless her name is “some girl” there was no name drop. 

(no one gave a shit because it wasn’t that big of a fucking deal “some girl”) 

Don’t let her fool you with her delusions. She also makes it seem like her and Krista (Joey’s wife) are friends when really Krista likes most all posts that are #joeybelladonna on Instagram. They aren’t close, they aren’t buddies or whatever the fuck. 

(Here’s that one shit she keeps talking about raw fucking format or some shit idk it’s a fucking side project Joey started that’s probably not even Joey messaging her they have 140 something followers I don’t even feel like getting into this dumbassery. Fucking clown.)

If you aren’t convinced enough in her insanity. Hannah has literally used Cliff’s accident as a plotpoint in her shitty fanfiction. Yes,that's right. She’s used Cliff Burton’s real life tragic accident as a plotpoint in a fanfiction with Joey and Lars. Not only did she do that, but she shoehorned Joey into the fucking accident. Like they’re all fictional characters. It’s fucking vile and insensitive. 

(The fucking post she linked was the infamous pic of Lars, James and Kirk after the accident)

In conclusion, Hannah is batshit crazy. She’s insane. She wants us to believe she’s mixed because she’s obsessed unhealthily with Joey Belladonna and wanting to look and be like him. She wants us to believe she’s friends with all of these musicians, that they’re in love with her. That they were close. None of this is true. She’s just a lying, rude, self centered, fucking psychotic bitch and if you know her I’d suggest staying away. 

Not even her fucking friend wants to be involved.

[splendidlyimperfect]

Sting’s entire life changed when he was eleven years old and his best friend Rogue told a secret that he’d promised to keep. Taken away from the father who abused him and the best friend who’d tried to save him, Sting tried to start a new life with his uncle. But the trauma wasn’t easy to escape, and eventually Sting turned to drinking to forget the things that hurt.

Now he’s an adult, and he hasn’t been sober in years. But when drinking nearly kills him and a near-stranger saves his life, Sting has a chance to turn his life around, and maybe become the man that Rogue deserves to love.

Chapter Summary: Being back in Crocus is different than Sting expects, but it's made easier when he runs into someone very familiar.

Chapters (14/?): 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Rogue Cheney/Sting Eucliffe, Natsu Dragneel/Gray Fullbuster, Natsu Dragneel & Sting Eucliffe, Sting Eucliffe & Weisslogia Characters: Sting Eucliffe, Natsu Dragneel, Rogue Cheney, Gray Fullbuster, Weisslogia (Fairy Tail) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Past Child Abuse, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Trans Character, Trans Sting, Friendship, Childhood Friends, Sting-focused story, Sting is a disaster, Natsu’s a great friend, Rogue tries to do what’s right, Tumblr: FTLGBTales Series: Part 2 of i’m still standing

-----

re·​union | \ (ˌ)rē-ˈyün-yən noun : the act of being brought together again

.

xii summer age twenty-one

.

Uncle Wes offers to let Sting stay with him in Saint Portage. His room is exactly the same as he’d left it, bed made neatly and window open to let in the warm summer breeze. A lump swells in Sting’s throat as the memories wash over him and he sits down hard on the edge of the bed, running his fingers across the blanket.

“I wanted it to be here for you,” Uncle Wes says quietly, sitting down next to Sting. “Just in case.”

Lector hops up as well, meowing and rubbing his head against Sting’s arm until he scratches behind Lector’s ears. “I wanted to come home,” Sting whispers, trying to tamp down the guilt that swells in his chest. “So badly, but…”

He focuses on the feel of Lector’s fur under his fingertips and exhales, letting his mind skip over the memories instead of delving deep into them.

Just fuckin’ hit me.

I would never hurt you.

You should.

No. Never.

Continue reading on AO3

He thinks about apologizing again, but he knows words alone aren’t enough. Instead he digs in his pocket for the letter. It’s crumpled and stained from where he’d dropped it on the porch, but it’s still legible, and he hands it to Uncle Wes.

“I can’t stay here,” he says softly. “I’m trying to be better.”

Uncle Wes’ eyes widen as they scan the page, and by the time he reaches the bottom, his entire face has transformed into the warm, sunny smile that Sting remembers so well.

“You’re going to be amazing,” Uncle Wes says, eyes wet with tears.

“You don’t think…” Sting trails off, teeth worrying at his lower lip.

Uncle Wes shakes his head, setting the letter back down on the bed and taking both of Sting’s hands in his own. “You’re an incredible young man,” he says gently. “And you are nothing like your father.”  

~

Being in Crocus is strange, and a little bit overwhelming.

Rufus, Sting’s new roommate, is quiet and kind, but he isn’t Natsu. They Facetime as much as possible, but once Sting starts his courses at the academy, they only get to talk once or twice a week.

Uncle Wes being back in his life is new, too. At first Sting wants to see him every day, to make up for all the time they’ve lost. But he’d nearly had a panic attack the second time they’d seen each other, and Sting’s new therapist had suggested reintegrating into each other’s lives a little slower.

After a month, Sting starts to think about drinking.

“I found a meeting here,” he tells Natsu on the phone that night. “It’ll be weird to go without you.” He sighs, lying on his back and staring at the ceiling. Little constellations of glow in the dark stars are stuck to the ceiling, and they bring back gentle memories of nights in the tree fort with Rogue, staring up at the stars.

“You can do it,” Natsu says, and Sting believes him.

The meeting is the same as every other one he’s been to. Even in a new city with new faces, nothing changes, and it’s comforting in a way. When he stands up and says, “I’m Sting and I’m an alcoholic,” everyone welcomes him warmly, and he feels the tension in his chest start to fade away.

It’s easier to say, now. The first few meetings in Danston, he’d refused to speak. Natsu had encouraged him, but he’d stayed hidden in the back, watching everyone else talk about their life while he tried to convince himself that he didn’t belong there.

He hadn’t wanted to admit that he’d turned out just like the person he hated most.

“I’ve been sober for just over two years,” Sting says, playing with the beads of the bracelet he holds between his fingers. It’s not a rosary – Natsu had called them mala beads, something monks used to help them focus and meditate. He had given them to Sting a week after he’d left the hospital, and Sting hasn’t taken them off since.

“I just moved back here,” he continues, glancing up at the group. The unfamiliar faces are overwhelming, but he forces himself to smile. “I had a lot of trauma here… shitty stuff with my family. It really messed me up, so I’m gonna be here a lot.”

The rest of the meeting goes by in a blur of new faces and other people’s stories. Usually Sting’s good at paying attention, good at connecting with people, but it’s hard to focus tonight.

He closes his eyes, breathing slowly as he runs the beads between his fingers and counts backward from fifty. Being back here is a good thing – he’s doing it for the right reasons. He’s a better man that his dad ever was, and he’s going to prove it.

The meeting is almost over when a very familiar voice starts to speak.

“I’m Gajeel, and, uh…” There’s a pause. “I’m an addict, I guess. This is my first meeting.”

Sting’s eyes snap open and he stares across the room at the man sitting with his elbows on his knees. His hair is longer, and he’s got more piercings than Sting remembers, but it’s definitely Gajeel.

Sting’s chest tightens as a million memories come flooding back to him – afternoons with Rogue watching Gajeel’s football games, Gajeel teasing the two of them when they stood in line for the newest Harry Potter book, Gajeel driving them to movies when he got his license.

Then Sting’s gaze slips past Gajeel to the man sitting beside him, and Sting stops breathing.

It’s Rogue.

Sting stares, eyes wide and heart pounding. Rogue’s hair is long, almost to the middle of his back, and it’s pulled back in a messy ponytail. He’s got his ears pierced, and his face is leaner now – he’s not a little boy anymore, and something in Sting’s chest splinters.

There’s something wrong with Abbey.

She’s gonna hate me.

I promised I wouldn’t tell.

Sting doesn’t realize he’s crying until the woman next to him touches his knee and hands him a tissue. He wipes at his face quickly, trying to breathe around the tightness in his chest. So many feelings are warring inside him right now – hope, anger, betrayal, regret. Love.

“Fuck,” he whispers, swallowing hard and pushing his chair back.

Rogue looks up at him.

Sting freezes, then realizes that Rogue’s already seen him and doesn’t recognize him. It’s not surprising – Sting looks nothing like eleven-year-old Abbey, but there’s a part of him that wishes Rogue could see past all that to his best friend.

Chairs start to scrape along the floor around Sting and he blinks, realizing the meeting is over. He stands up slowly, trying desperately to decide whether to run away or walk over.

Fuck it, he thinks. There’s been too much trauma and anger and regret in his life already, and if Rogue’s here, there’s no way Sting’s going to lose him again.

He walks over before he can change his mind, and when Rogue looks at him curiously, Sting reaches out and touches his arm.

“Hey,” he says, hand trembling against Rogue’s sweater. “I, uh…”

There’s nothing Sting can say to describe how he’s feeling. If this is a dream, he doesn’t want to wake up, but he’s pretty sure it’s real. Rogue is real. Rogue is here, alive and breathing and frowning as he searches Sting’s face.

“I’m sorry, do I—” Rogue freezes mid-sentence, eyes widening in realization. “Abbey?”

A silence hangs between them, heavy and uncertain, and then Rogue grabs Sting’s arms and pulls him into a hug.

“Holy shit,” Rogue whispers as he holds Sting tight against him, pressing his face into Sting’s shoulder. Sting can feel Rogue shaking, heart picking up as he starts to cry. “I never thought—fuck, I’m…” He leans back, reaching up and touching Sting’s face. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I’m so, so sorry, I didn’t mean… I just—”

“It’s okay,” Sting says, tipping his face into Rogue’s hand. “It wasn’t your fault, none of it, and I wanted to—I didn’t get to say goodbye, I…”

Sting trails off, tears running down his cheeks and over their hands. Nothing else exists except this moment – the rest of the conversations around them are just dull, background noise to the heavy slamming of Sting’s heart.

“I missed you so much,” Rogue says, voice breaking as he runs his thumb across Sting’s cheek. He pulls Sting close, pressing their foreheads together, then kissing Sting’s cheek. “I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry, I was so scared, and I didn’t know what to do.”

“I know,” Sting says, pulling Rogue close again and holding him tight. He can’t let go or the moment will end and he’s so scared that this isn’t real. “I know, and it wasn’t your fault.”

Rogue digs his fingers into Sting’s shoulders like he’s keeping him from floating away. Every time he starts to say something, the words dissolve into tears again, and neither of them can do anything but hold each other through wave after wave of emotions.

Eventually Gajeel coughs awkwardly next to them, and Sting reluctantly lets go of Rogue’s arms.

“Hey,” Sting says weakly. “It’s, uh… me. Abbey. Well, Sting, now. It’s been a while.” He wipes his cheeks and forces himself to make eye contact with Gajeel. There’s a familiar, haunted look behind Gajeel’s eyes, and before Sting can stop himself, he pulls Gajeel into a hug too. “I’m sorry,” he says quietly.

“Yeah,” Gajeel says, voice rough and uncertain as he pats Sting back. “Same.”

The three of them stand there for a moment, then Gajeel gives Rogue a knowing look and nods toward the door. “I’m gonna get Jeff to gimme a ride home,” he says. “You two’ve got a lot to talk about.” 

~

Sting grips Rogue’s hand tightly as they step out of the building and into the night. It’s warm and muggy, and the air smells like lilacs.

“C’mon,” Rogue says, tugging on Sting’s hand and nodding down the street.

The treehouse is still standing in Rogue’s parent’s backyard, and they sneak up into it together, shuffling awkwardly until they’re lying in the same place they did when they were little. Their legs are a little too long, but neither of them complain as Rogue pulls Sting close and kisses the top of his head.

It’s like Sting never left.

“Sting.” Rogue says his name curiously, testing out the sound. “I knew, y’know. I mean, I didn’t know what to call it—that it was thing, that you could be a boy, but I knew.”

“I know,” Sting says, resting his head against Rogue’s shoulder. He feels so surreal, like he’s existing simultaneously as a child and his adult self, and both of them are safe and warm and loved. “I didn’t know how to tell you.”

Rogue doesn’t say anything, just runs his fingers up and down Sting’s arm with a slow, purposeful tenderness that makes Sting feel so alive. There aren’t many stars above them – the lights pollute the sky and hide them, but Sting knows they’re there, dancing in constellations behind the fake city brightness.

“I tried to find you,” Rogue says. “It makes sense that I couldn’t – you changed your name. But mom and dad tried so hard. They went to the hospital – they’d called the police, they wanted to make sure you were okay, but nobody would tell them anything. All they’d say is that you were safe, and you were leaving.”

Sting sighs, closing his eyes and cuddling closer to Rogue. “It was bad,” he says softly. “I was angry for a long time—I thought that things would have been okay if you hadn’t told your parents, but it was really bad.” He flexes his fingers, thinking of the cast he’d worn for weeks. “He broke my arm.”

“Oh my god,” Rogue says, turning until he can pull Sting closer and wrap both arms around him. “I’m so sorry.”

“I didn’t want to admit that he was hurting me,” Sting says, swallowing back tears. “But he…” Sting lets out a shaky breath. “He could have killed me. You saved my life.” He presses himself as close to Rogue as he can, shivering as a cool breeze tickles the hair on the back of his neck. “I just wanted him to love me.”

Rogue’s quiet for a minute. Then he whispers, “I love you.” The words sink into Sting, filling the cold, lonely places inside of him. “I always have.”

A warm glow flows through Sting, heating his cheeks and making him feel dizzy. He leans back, pushing himself up on his elbow and brushing a stray hair out of Rogue’s face with shaky fingers. This feels so right. All the broken pieces in Sting are shifting, putting themselves back together with each gentle touch. Rogue’s eyes shine in the dim light of the moon, filled with tears, and Sting knows, now, why he has to keep going. Why he has to be better, stay sober, keep trying.

“I love you, too,” he says again, then leans down and presses a gentle kiss to Rogue’s lips.

[spnfanficpond]

June Angel Fish Awards

Every month all of you fantastic writers work your asses off to post some truly incredible stories. Our Angel Fish Awards are the way for all of us, as a community of writers and readers, to lift each other up and give praise to those who have captured our attention and deserve a few kind words.

The monthly Angel Fish Awards are peer-nominated, meaning ANYONE IN THE POND CAN NOMINATE ANY POND MEMBER’S FIC. While the Pond was founded to support the Guppies, everyone in this community deserves to be showered with love and feedback, and we hope that by opening this up as a Pond wide system, we’ll be able to share the love as far as it can go.

NOTE: WE’VE BEEN HAVING OCCASIONAL PROBLEMS WITH ASKS GOING MISSING. Please use the Submit button when submitting your nominations and make sure you’re signed into Tumblr or your URL won’t show. (If the form asks for your name and email address, then you’re not signed in.) If you like, you can also send a message to Michelle or Mana to check and make sure we got your submission.

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERE ARE JUNE’S ANGEL FISH AWARDS!

Nominated by @wingedcatninja and @mrswhozeewhatsis and @manawhaat

The Song Remains the Same (oneshot) by @sammit-janet 

@wingedcatninja said -  This fic by @sammit-janet is the best case fic I have ever read. It has everything: drama, angst, a witch curse, perfect characterization. Reading it was like being inside an episode of Supernatural. And, without spoiling anything, the ending broke my heart. To quote my own comment when I reblogged it:

“I don’t even know where to start. The story is fantastic. The prose is beautiful. The characterization is on point. The angst is delightfully painful. It’s just overall amazing. Thank you for sharing this awesome piece of art.”

@mrswhozeewhatsis said -  The painful ingenuity of the spell in this case fic is genius. Pure freaking genius! Painful as hell, but genius. Characterization is wonderful, as always, and my heart is a little more broken, but I’m used to that with Sammit!! Brava!!!! *throws roses at you*

@manawhaat said-  WOW! That was fucking awesome! We see witch spells so often and (maybe it’s bc of the genre I’m reading but) they’re always like lust spells of some sort, so it was super refreshing to see this kind of spell. This whole thing was just really well done, super interesting, perfectly in character and the realm of spn. And that last little bit. UGH! SO PERFECT! So Dean! So spot on! So fitting and heartbreaking and such a perfect little add on. I swear, this whole thing legit felt like I watched an episode of the show. This case fic is a perfect example of how I want every fic to read. I want the drama, the suspense, the emotion, the subtleties, the Winchesters as they truly are, this kind of gentle care for detail and attention to creating a realistic feel. I can’t say it enough- this is fucking FANTASTIC!

Nominated by @wingedcatninja

Never Wanna Say Goodbye (oneshot) by @deanwinchesterswitch

This is deliciously painful angst that leaves you with tears in your eyes and a smile on your lips.

Nominated by @risingphoenix761

Salty Stockings (oneshot) by @slytherkins

Cute, hilarious, and just the right amount of crack. Also risque and suggestive. Did I mention this is hilarious? So much good stuff in a short fic, and imagine if anyone suggested Dean take this with him on a hunt!

Nominated by @manawhaat

True or False (oneshot) by @thegirlwhorunswithwinchesters

The way this starts instantly pulls you in. There’s so much pent up shit rattling through Dean and the way it’s reciprocated through Y/n is an amazing build. There’s so much emotion and vulnerability to this entire thing, and it’s done in a way that’s completely believable and realistic for Dean. Fuck. It’s smart and really just opens them both up in such a refreshing way that speaks of Dean’s bravery, even in the face of being raw and exposed to someone else. And the way the tables turn. *screeches and flaps on the floor* Be still my fucking heart! I fucking adore this and the way you approached this fic and premise. There are so many ways it could have gone wrong or lost its power and impact, but you fucking nailed it!

Covet (series) by @waywardjoy

Fucking Christ, this series stressed me the fuck out, but in the best way possible. The cliffhangers, the dark grittiness. The insanity! Fuck, I absolutely love it when stories are written in a way that completely immerse me in it. It’s dark, like, really dark. Fuck. It just hurts. 

The Beginning of The End (oneshot) by @deanwinchesterswitch

OW! There is a secret desperation in this that is absolutely brutal and tears your heart in two. The way Dean is written is eye-opening and really just drags you down into a depth of pain and grief that only a Winchester can feel. I feel like I should say something about the sex being hot, but I can’t. Because to me it’s just so rough, borderline too rough, and so emotional. Which might sound weird, but in this situation and with the way everything is presented that scene is honest as fuck, very believable, and powerful. At some point things become more about the emotional release than they do being sexy, and this is a gorgeous example of that kind of repressed emotion roaring to life in ‘bottle it up forever’ Dean Winchester. This fic hurts so good all the way through and in different ways. That in itself is a feat, so have so many layers in one story. It’s anger and hurt and guilt and worry and all of it is wrapped so delicately together in this fucking stunning piece of art. 

Born This Way (oneshot) by @evansrogerskitten

HAPPY PRIDE MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!!! This fuckin’ fic! Wow. This is the definition of the spn family. There’s so much love and support wrapped up in this story, in this fucking dream. I rarely get like, actually emotional reading fics (because I’m a heartless bitch) but this has me sitting here clutching my chest with my eyes closed just full body squeeing and smiling and my gut is clenching with all the emotion. There is something to be said of the spn family being allies. This song, this setting, this family, and the moment you’ve created here is so important and such a special thing! AND, as if the fic itself wasn’t enough to make me burst into happy tears, the tweets at the bottom sure the fuck were! Honestly, everything about this is so spot on and believable and just fucking pure and good.

Castiel Imagine (drabble) by @webcricket

Holy hell, that Cas fic was not only incredibly fucking sensual and well done but it was just so full of amazing language. Fantastic! I feel like a lot of writers who try to beef up their language tend to use words that feel out of place, but your consistency and the way you weave them together made me slow down to savor every line and that was such a beautiful thing.

Nominated by @sorenmarie87

Life for Rent (series) by @winchest09

The series has just started but I can’t wait to see where it goes.  I love a good mobster!au and the set up so far has me wondering what’s going to happen next. 

What Research? (oneshot) by @becs-bunker 

What do I say about this other than I loved it?  I mean Sam has been busy and the reader just wants some attention from him. Of course, they accomplish what they set out to do and it’s worth the read.  

Born This Way by @evansrogerskitten 

This was a fantastic fic. The reader has the casts approval and support, and the way they came out was fantastic. I almost cried, no lie. Ash’s fics are always fantastic but this hit me in an unsuspected way. 

Once Upon A Dream (oneshot) by @welldonebeca

I haven’t honestly seen that many Human!Gabe fics let alone Alpha!Gabe at that.  The story is so sweet.

Fallen Productions (series) by @welldonebeca  

I always admire authors who can write A/B/O but this mini series works its way through the original Team Free Will in a different way.  

He Is (series) by @coffee-obsessed-writer

This whole series is super sweet. Each chapter shows just what Dean means to you, and Jen nails it in each of them.

Make You Feel My Love (series) by @sofreddie 

This was such a sweet A/B/O series.  I love that Dean and the reader took their time, I mean Dean eased her through her earlier heats but I think it was sweet that it was just smut off the bat.  

Nominated by @iflostreturntosteverogers

Almond Milk Lies (series) by @fictionalabyss  

Mel is a fantastic writer 💕

Nominated by @shy-violet-soul 

The Girl Next Door (series) by @luci-in-trenchcoats 

An engaging AU, this writer keeps you hooked with well-paced timing & plot. Portrayal of characters is consistent with the show, which other fics struggle with when not in the SPN world. The story line is believable and genuine, and I enjoy the banter between the 2 main pairing-folks. Bravo!

Sunsets by @crispychrissy 

Damn. This work is so beautifully painful, or painfully beautiful, it’s hard to find words. I don’t want to comment on a favorite part to avoid giving away the plot. But this writer has captured a lesser-written character powerfully and consistently, and hooks you in with strong imagery and pacing. Hold on to your heartstrings for this one. 

Thank you all for the awesome work and great feedback!

As with the BFAs, these are not actual awards! This system is set up so everyone in the pond has a chance to share the love and promote a fic/author that has grabbed your attention. The more people that participate, and the more everyone remembers to submit their own fics after posting, the better this will be :D

THANK YOU ALL AGAIN, KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK, AND AS ALWAYS, HAPPY WRITING!

[fyeahsmokinhot]

Basically a mildly funny, delusional therapy session!

Ok, I can't anymore I just need to let it out.

I've been in bed since this morning as I got food poisoning/stomach flu and I'm quite sure it's because of D&D and not the T/A.

So anyway let's rant...also my nimble fingers might make typos as I'm super dehydrated (feeling like Ghost after fighting with WWs and being abandoned by Jon the Dumbest).

So we start with the funeral.....and its sombre as shit. Well done David Nutter btw. And we move on to eating food 🤮.

Here we go: Dany! I love(d) her so much, but lately she's all over the place going from crazy to crazy in love. Now don't let my lack of detecting any chemistry between her and Resident Emo Boy confuse you BUT are we just all going to sweep the incestous undertones under the pelts?Here I am watching another make out scene???.....but ok I shall resurrect and go to Kings Landing where Cersei is hosting a party (Wall themed I see). After losing her baby (also wth how did she not see them?why didn't she dracarys Eurons ass?), her Sir Friendzone and her BFF once again Dany is made to seem BAD for mourning in a murderous way (ah I guess it's ok if Arya does it....or Snow?), Being held to higher standard .....JUST BC SHE HAS A VAGINA??? ( Dios Mio, Olenna please).

Next up on my list Arya who went back to her old cuddle buddy The Hound.....Kind of digging it. Gendry you dumbass (❤️) offer her to go on a round-trip of murder (Bonnie & Clyde style) not a marriage. Also mad love for making her an honest woman with those puppy eyes.

Brienne & Jaime ....and this is where we go cray-cray. Dear fellow citizen of Tumblr, if you still reading brace yourself....by the end of the next 2 episodes (if U ARE a BRAIME shipper) you be losing golden hands, legs, basically everything that you can rip off (like Miss Vanjie did when singing No More Pain). So after reading countless (!!!!) posts about how people interpreted that scene (remember dear reader I was ill today so it was a lot) I think we can settle on Prince Charming Now Turned Old Guy Because Of International Incestous Relations is a dumbass with a death wish. BUT is he a good dumbass or a bad one.Now here I'd like to point out two things I didn't see considered:

Jaime already killed a king to save the population of Kings Landing.

Jaime said to Brienne he would have done the deed at Riverrun....but he didn't cus of Brie-Brie .....I'm assuming we all saw the things he did for her that went against Cersei. He went back to rescue her instead of rushing to KL, he arranged for her to leave as soon as Queen Should Have Been Thanos' Wife even breathed in her general direction, gave her instructions and means to protect Sansa even though his sister wanted her dead, took Riverrun in piece BC Brie-Brie asked !!!!! Come on guys after all that you can't believe he would put Cersei before her (or maybe I'm fuckin wrong since D&D don't even seem to know correct details in their behind the scenes cuts). So yes I believe Jamie wants to kill Female Jaime because....if she defeats Dany she is coming for them in Winter fell (also Brienne and Sansa are in WF).

No I don't ship Jaimsa (because hello fuckin weirdos 💝), but Briennes oath means something to Jaime.

BUT I hate...hate...hate how Jaime left her (the 🍑). He broke her heart after she finally opened it ...and this (D2 will burn in hell, the crossroads demon is on it).

Also my two weirdos having the most relatable and clumsy copulation (yes I said it, someone had to) moment. Like don't we all just flirt like Jaime...so smooth: it's hot in here bitches breeches off. Oh look my poor hand doesn't work I guess I will need your help...🥺🥺🥺

Brienne will NOT die. I can't believe otherwise.There are some characters you don't touch (Juliet from Lost, Clarke from The 100, Castiel) and she is one of them. I love that Gwen was real about her arc of being a woman this season.

I do think I have an unhealthy obsession with Braime as this episode actually made me sick(no it wasn't the take away) and now I will forever remember this as the night Braime became canon and the day when I felt like The Prince of Dorne when his eyes were popping (oh Oberyn....Pedro Pascal I miss your holiness sexiness).

And what with all the articles/YouTubers predicting pregnancies? We watched (with my friend, I'm not hallucinating from dehydration) people predicting a pregnant Dany, Brienne, Arya (?)....basically everyone with boobs. Chill guys if you worried about repopulating Samwell is on it!

And Tyrion best wingman in Westeros. What even was he doing showing off to GingerBain (btw good for you, tap dat rebound ass babe....and have fun going back to the land of the lost....you could have taken Dumbass Emo with you 🤫). Btw guys how many versions of the Two Dudes Just Hanging And Discussing The Fate Of The Iron Throne While Demeaning Rulers (mostly women) As Incompetent do we have to sit through? Can I like request to see actual things like Two Eyed Robot telling the sisters about the heritage or Sansa telling Tyrion instead of cutting away? That Tyrion and Sansa scene was having me on the edge.

And we come to Sansa. My queen, my sunshine and..... apparently my New Little finger ( is it only me who hates this comparison that reduces her to a power hungry, brothel-less creepy dude even thought she's been doing everything for her family????). I lost it when I heard them bring this up in the Untucked Uncut vid. Like maybe give us some actual scenes with Sansa where we get to see her contemplating her goals and wishes and not just her looking pretty up into the sky (compulsory shot of season 8). I've been feeling so far away from Sansa since season 7 (worst season ever....but this one is a contender).

Also from now on I'm believing in Bronn.He foresaw the Bang and said he will collect later. There will be a later for the boys! Bronn gave up on the castle he's now gone to take over for the Witchy Woman who talked to frogs and Cersei. Big ups for the resident Reversed Three Eyed Raven!

I have read the interview where GRRM said he doesn't agree or like some character fates. I agree GRRM so can you give us a book ....I mean God's it takes me ages to get started on my coursework, bit at least I submit it 10 min before the deadline!

Also the total lack of any mention of Braime in both behind the scenes....??!!!...Might be good news.

#Bonus Fun topics you can bring up at Thanksgiving:

Podrick and the 3some - u go girl!!!

Tyrion and his lack of sex - we've all been there and that's why I need spoilers to satisfy my craving....just like you needed to know about the magic vagina!

Wtf is a Varys anymore? Also Yara?

Ser Dadvos without kids and Red God's is super depressing. Give the guy an orphan!

Greyworm -which shot of his face was more intimidating. Rate from 1 to Dracarys!

Global warming? Dragons near extinction?

*Disclaimer: I love all GOT characters (well, maybe except for I Have One Facial Expression And It's Emo Jon), but I just needed a good rant cus the ones aimed at my friends didn't do it for me 😄

[certifiedbamf]

Okay.

[26SEP19; 2252]

Well, I'm here. It feels like I've started all over again. I mean, I guess technically I am. But it's just a shitty feeling. Like the last 9 months were for nothing? No. This time it's going to be fine because I'll be doing something interesting to me. However, this will greatly impact what I want. I'm not going to say it will ruin it completely because I still have faith that it will come together. I have some things to say and this will probably be my last post. My reason is completely logical though. So I'm going to tell you why and leave you with this:

The last time I used Tumblr for sad-boy shit was when Rachel broke up with me. I had all these feelings and thoughts and things that I just wanted to say. I know you've read them...the Tabasco sauce one? Your favorite. Anyway, I used Tumblr as a way to vent. I was still in love and she wasn't. She was very over it, actually So I had to find a way to talk. Tumblr was my outlet and I thought it would help me somehow. Well, it did. I got over her. Completely. It took awhile but it worked. Never knew that's what I wanted until one day I was just over it.

And now look. Don't you see? The situation I'm in now, with you, is practically identical. Except I never wanted to marry Rachel. I never loved her the way I love you. Which is why I have to stop this and hold on to my feelings. Because if this thing works out, it will be bliss; serendipity. I keep thinking about that. You asked me once: "why do you feel like you have to wait for me?....wouldn't you want to keep your options open?" (or something like that). It's because I love you. I wish I could say that more (I wish I had said it more). But you are the only option to me and I want all of you. So I have to wait. I have to be careful though. I don't want to chase you off. And these Tumblr posts will make me get over you. I don't want that. I want to keep you. I want you to keep me.

Talking to you will be very difficult now though. I don't get to have my phone until after class. Literally has to stay in my room. Which means we'd only be able to talk around 1500 your time. And it seems like you can't ever talk around that time (well, you can but I don't know I guess) so now you see why I said this place will impact the whole thing. It's literally all up to you and what you want.

I'm so sorry for leaving you while you were in tech school. So sorry...holy shit. I know Sheppard was strict and I can now understand why you always wanted to talk. It's such a profound sense of loneliness. I can't believe I fucking did that to you.

I'm saying all this literally to you because I have a bad feeling our communication will decrease a lot. Which I understand. You don't revolve your life around me and I promise you that's fine. I'll be pretty fuckin busy and occupied here. But make no mistake, you won't leave my mind. Just keep me in yours. If you really meant when you said you'd probably end up with me...think about that every now and then...just a suggestion. I just want you to be happy.

[EDIT - 27SEP19; 0427]

That one night in Carlsbad. When you came to see me. Everything about it. The hand holding. The things we did. The stuff we said. It felt like we had just picked up where we left off. It was perfect. And then you stayed at the hotel with me that Friday. We literally cuddled the whole night. I'm sorry if it's weird to bring all this up. But that's just what I want. I want that shit forever.

[vintage-mocha]

💕💃

💕 - 1 thing you love about yourself (you can do it !!)

my determination to do things people tell me i’m not good enough for.

💃- compliment some people you admire !

this is gonna be long

@nervousgalactictrans hey bro your hair has always been really rad and i love your writing and also i CAN and WILL throw positive vibes at you and there is Nothing You Can Do To Stop Me

@starchild-starkat we don’t talk as often anymore but holy shit you’re so nice and valid and i still love your blog and i’m so thankful i got to know u and so thankful you helped me thru such a shitty time in my life?

@abel-quartz thanks for helping me figure out the absolute mess of gender confusion that i am and being so constantly understanding of the shifting parts of my identity and a little ‘hiya’ from Dad

@a-queer-prick animation class was awesome together and i still think abt your final project a lot bc it was really cool and smooth and ahhHHhh

@starchildconnie you’re so!! fucking!! valid!! like wow!! valid!! bUt also you have such a cute art style and your pixel art is so freakin’ good and i can’t believe how fast your art has been improving like holy cow

@procrastinasian idk if you even use this tumblr anymore but girl my edges are always fuckin gone bc you call bullshit so easily and it feels like you’re so easily such a hilarious human being??? ily????

@weirdoughnut i love that u are so fucking full of energy and so hype to just exist and kick ass and take names and chew bubblegum and i’m running out of references but oh my GOD ily

@finnishedddd seeing u drag terfs on my dash is a blessing and ALSO i still listen to that lil sample of that cutesy lo fi u were making bc it’s so soothing and i love getting messages from you even if i can’t get to’em right away

@goopy-amethyst literally SO valid and i love seeing ur “terfs go die challenge” posts and i need!! to make!! my own!! ‘CUNT’ gif so that we can use it on terfs posts together!! and thank u so much for introducing me to shera and seeing u on my dash puts a fuckin smile on my face

@goddaniit hey hey hey hey hey i fucking lOve ur art and ur literally??? gorgeous??? like ah god i can’t get over it you’re peRfec Ttt

@knightbyte literally tysm for always being down to talk abt that Gay Shit like continually ty 

@fuck-the-certain-price-of-goods i know u travelin girl and might not see this right away but i’m so!! glad!! i ever met u!! tysm for helpin me thru the shitfest that was highschool and here’s to kickin’ college’s ass :D

@perichristmas really out here helping me get more comfortable in my own skin and be less nervous/shy about the things i like which has helped my self confidence sm?? like bless u ily

@nmglaceon AHH we don’t talk as often anymore but you’re SO valid and SUCH an amazing person to talk to and i’m so fuck glad that we ever met

and for any friend that i didn’t tag i’m v sorry but my eyes are heavy n stingin bc it’s late and i should get some rest