#home work assignment help
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turns out poetry and fiction aren't that great when you can't feel any connection with them 90% of the time
#pray for me please#it's finals week and i'm really struggling#I'm so tired and I don't know how to deal with all the things running around in my head that are bent on distracting me from the work I#*need* to do#and my friends are lovely and supportive but they have their own work and trials too#and I'm struggling at the moment#I don't need any more bible verses I think I actually just need to be angry enough to finish this stupid assignment#and then every other stupid assignment that has to be done before the end of the week#but i've been struggling to feel anything much less anger for a while#just too tired and overwhelmed and too used to hiding my emotions from everyone. it's exhausting but I'm fairly good at it.#so again -- prayer please. that i'll be able to get through all of this and not give up#and then I'll deal with all the things I need to deal with later on when there is time and space to do so#(goodness knows there won't be much time and space at home but there will at least not be any class work so that will be nice)#(i'm so tired of feeling angry!! but it turns out that underneath everything else there's a whole lotta anger still!!! and smothering it#down doesn't seem to be helping anything!! aaahggrgrgghshdghdgs)#(and unfortunately all the work I've been doing to give up my propensity towards control seems to have just left me feeling#apathetic and pointless. there has to be a line between obsessively controlling every aspect of your life you can manage#and just giving up and not being able to see the point in anything anymore. right????)
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Anyway ✌🏻
#this me trauma dumping and venting now 🥰#the last 3 days feels like 3 years#i lost my kitten (while being away)#and i got the news while driving in the middle of ni where#and then immediately after i arrived at the hotel i got sick and barely was able to open my eyes#the 2nd day i managed to go complete the work assigned to me without passing out lmao#but after that i had to help deliver a baby 😀#with so minimal equipment and the ambulance arrived so late#it wasn't my first time but it was still traumatizing 🥱#but hey! the joy of bringing a life or whatever they say (liars)#and now I'm still not home and still sad and angry about what happened to my kitten 🚶♀️#and i have a stomach bug and can't travel home now#i guess thats it if you're still reading this wow kudos 🤨😘#also my mom thought i was dead chill lady i didn't answer my phone for only 12 hours 🤨#Anyway#fun and action#sira's shenanigans#<- yeah good i remembered this#i think I'm cursed tho tommy come lift it 😢
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i am not done my assignment but the caffeine has worn off and i cant think rn and now i'm debating how self-destructive it would be to have another coffee
#help#it genuinely has to be done tonight i have zero time tomorrow#gonna practice the presentation when i get home after work (late) ig#and hope it's vaguely in the assigned time range#i have to get up at 8:30 and it is currently 4#ah shit i have to at least take out my contacts#brb then i'll decide on caffeine#post by me
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It’s like I care so much out of fear and not because I genuinely give a damn
#like if I wouldn’t be screamed at until I shut down and couldn’t respond anymore I wouldn’t give a damn about my grades#I wouldn’t be crying in the middle of the night over my favorite and most accomadating teacher#and how she’ll probably be disappointed in and hate me for barely doing any of my weeks of overdue assignments because I felt sad or whatevz#she never takes off points for late work#and I am so so so thankful for that#but she expects me to be better and able to at least try to keep up with homework with the rest of the class#and I can’t#because something is fucking wrong with me#and I can’t just power through like I’m supposed to#and I love this teacher she’s the only teacher of the language I’m taking that the district has so I’ll have her for years more#and I really don’t want her to think of me as someone incompetent who can’t do anything outside the classroom#because I don’t want to lose her accomadating ways and help that I don’t even have to ask for#I don’t even have any diagnoses or an IEP it’s like she just knows how to handle kids like me#I told her I would try harder#I told her I would study more to retake a few quizzes#and breaks nearly over#and I fucking didn’t#god damn it all#if the grades weren’t so vital to not getting screamed at and if I wasn’t so scared of ruining something that genuinely helps me#her class would be the absolute least of my worries#it would be another one of those things I pay little attention or care towards because I can manage to coast by#ok this probably makes no sense and I probably detracted from the point#but like#I’m fuckin scared man#scared of my dad checkijng grades and seeing all the zeroes and the zeroes not being filled immediately Wednesday when I come back#because well I somehow couldn’t fucking do then during my five day break of being at home doing nearly nothing#scared my teacher will stop noticing and helping me in the classroom because it helps sometimes way more than any teacher ever has#scared of another person realizing I’m worthless and can’t really do anything#scared of my dad finding out I have so much overdue work at ALL#he hasn’t checked the grades portal hardly at all this semester and oh god I’m so glad
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Store managers said even a few minutes overtime will be a write up
I'm calling bullshit
#i work in a fucking deli you think im getting everything i need cleaned in exactly 2 hours?#on a slow day yes bc guess what im not helping customers til 8#but on days like today where we have a sale? and are pretty busy??? fuck no#and! itd be so much easier if we could shut things down even just slightly early (even 30 min could help)#but nooooooo#wednesday when i close imma shut down one of the slicers at like fuckin. 5. (start earlier) cause thats what slows me down#after 8 when i gotta sharpen then clean them all on top of putting food away. collecting dishes. wiping down counters and scales#wiping glass. the wing bar. the whole bird case. sweep. spray the floor. scrub it. then push all the water into drains#or idk do very quick cleanings of the slicers. SOMETHING to speed it up by 8#if i somehow do get a write up im gonna call up my union rep and see if a literal few minutes overtime to finish cleaning is fine#bc its either a few minutes overtime or some shit don't get done (like my cook today didnt get to do her floors cause she was#cooking until 7 and it takes a while to clean the fryers on top of all the other dishes. machines. counters and WALLS. and the back floors!)#my coworkers have claimed the union does jack shit and maybe thats true. or. there is a chance they just werent fucking annoying about stuff#cause like. i get it the store doesnt wanna pay overtime. then it should give enough time for us to PROPERLY do our job#otherwise itll be half-assed and people will get written up for THAT instead#and id get it if theyre annoyed if youre like. 20+ minutes overtime#but fucking 5 minutes? or even just 1 (as manager warned/threatened)???? if i do get overtime for those minutes i guarantee its barely#anything considering i get paid 15.50 an hour#anyways. im pissed off. and skipping asl tomorrow even if i risk the administrative drop#im skipping the day of that deadline but my grades are decent (a B that I can turn to an A so long as I don't miss more assignments)#so im not too worried. if my professor asks i will say i was incredibly sore (true. my arm/shoulders/back/legs/feet hate me rn)#as well as exhausted (also true. i got home at 10:30 its currently 11 and im wound up so i definitely wont be getting to sleep for a while#and i dont fancy trying to do asl on like. 5 or less hours of sleep with a sleep-and-magnesium (i forgot to take the vitamin) deprived brain#anywho hope yall have a better night 👍#amber's shit you can ignore
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Gen alpha is cooked my 8 year old sister gets frustrated when we say school is for learning and doesn't want to figure out how to spell because she uses voice to text. She doesn't want to learn how to type on an actual keyboard and is very resistant to learning handwriting for similar reasons. All because she's had a tablet since she was like four or five
#it does not help that despite being homeschooled neither parent actively works with her#to do the schooling from home#she just uses a paid service that has pre-recorded lessons and ai graded writing assignments#and when my father has tried to take an active role he just prints out worksheets#and then gets mad when she cant do them perfectly because she is an eight year old probably with adhd#im pretty sure this is educational neglect but the only people who are aware of how bad it is#are me and two siblings#so if we made an anonymous tip to anyone they could probably still deduce that it was from inside the house#anyway i want to sh--t myself rn yay thanks
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Somehow got so exhausted that my body put me on bed rest. I'm up after a 3 ish hour nap to eat a little more and take my meds, then I'll be going back down for actual sleep. Can tell by the radiating exhaustion that I just have to give this to my body
#speculation nation#kind of confused bc it was just the weekend and it's not like i did That much#but i guess the sleep deprivation from last night and how busy today was was enough#also me working on assignments yesterday... hmmm...#other than that tho i just gamed and wrote yesterday#... oh right. i just remembered how phenomenally stressful saturday was and how extremely angry i was on friday#maybe those two days wore me out and i didnt properly rest after it yesterday. so with the bad sleep and the busy day...#ok yeah it makes more sense to me now why im next to bedridden.#my body telling me it needs rest in the only way it knows how. by making me feel literally sick so im too miserable to do anything but sleep#not feeling as bad after the long nap. but my limbs are still radiating exhaustion. like im moving thru molasses.#also have imminent period. that's probably also not helping.#bc of my appointment between classes today i drove to campus for my 2nd half of the day#and driving home was like. man. clearly i got home safely. but i could Tell how exhausted i was in how hard it was to focus on driving.#got home safe by just not doing anything weird with it. but i was definitely glad to get home.#i still have a homework thing to do... but im gonna have to do it in the morning. no way id be able to focus on it rn.#only up to get some more fuel and then it's back to bed with me.
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It's been a while since I've had someone express interest in me, and wow what a feeling to be reminded of, it's literally The Worst.
#lithromantic#aromantic#asexual#aroace#aro/ace#it was pretty subtle and someone who it would Never happen with anyway because he's married#and also the creepy janitor at work who somehow manages to keep getting assigned to our side of the building#god please let me just hide in my home forever#I truly felt nauseous#these were two separate guys to be clear. what a day. nothing was explicitly said but it was implied#one of the maintenance guys who I'm friendly with offering to help me around the house... like no sir#rl
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i just want to know if anybody else on tumblr is taking health and social in college because i am, and today we had to fix our feedback except (this isn't me bragging.. i promise.) i didn't have any, and i am literally never in lesson - i always waffle, but like maybe it's cause of all the extra explanations and definitions??
#i am so confused.#if i do so well here why can i in my english lessons?#i wanna cry.#but like i do kinda wanna brag-#hehe.#🤭😭#college#i hate college.#this morning i spilt milk down myself and had to change and then i got stuck in the rain#but then my mum brought me mcdonalds#and then i had a test so my teacher let us leave an hour hour#so i got to have a second lunch and i saw my friend from another class#then i thought i was going to class late but the teacher was late#OH!!#i also forgot my english book but it didn't matter#anyways..#during lesson the teacher basically ignored me cause she was helping other people.#and then she was like if you've done this you can leave but i left anyways.#so i got home at 5 and only finished it at 8 but like idk if i was even supposed to do half of the work i did in the assignment#and i still have 3 tasks.#DID I TELL YOU IT WAS MY FIRST DAY BACK?#personal#vent
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pro tip: if you think you have adhd then don't start a master's program before you even get a diagnosis (also you need a stronger prescription, you have astigmatism, and reading glasses aren't gonna cut it)
#i can handle one class just fine but 2 classes??? im killing myself#im working too so its like i never have time for myself and its just a neverending well of assignments and work plus i hate the schedule#why is everything due at 10:59 and why is it due in the middle of the week but i have to come back the next 2 days and write responses#one of my classes will trade out a disucssion for the week with an assignment thats due at the end of the week and i like that sm better#the other class makes use do a discussion and an assignment in the same week#and usually they're all due at the same time so i go to work and then go home do my homework and then do more homework on the weekend#then go back to work do you understand my problem#anyway my mom casually confirmed that i have astigmatism recently which ???#but my eyesight is fine but driving in the dark is hell and its not b/c of the dark!#any kind of bright light blinds me like it could be a sunny day and i won't be seeing shit for that entire drive omg#just realized that this might be the cause of an increase in headaches wait...#ok back on track: adhd consultation (maybe) in a month and a half!#i don't have a therapist so im hoping my doctor can help? or at least refer me to somebody that can help b/c looking is hard omg#where the therapists at omg#moon posts#long one today because i am procrastinating so i can give up <3
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Bought a stupid suit thing. Disgustang.
#speculation nation#i got it on sale but it was still kinda expensive. ughhhh#hates every part of that. it's so stiff and uncomfortable and unnatural feeling.#but business professional is the recommended attire... so to that i went...#felt bad staying so close to close but the employees were nice about it at least. and i still got out b4 they closed (barely)#i wanted to go shopping earlier today. in between class and orchestra. but allegedly attendance is required in the lab.#so i went. didnt really feel like attendance was taken. but i still went.#still gotta finish prepping my resume but i dont think itll take Too long... i got a template to follow#from my web coding class actually. bc we just happen to have a resume building assignment this week.#so by working on my resume im working on the lab!! yay!!!#except im not doing the lab resume rn. just the normal resume. the template is still helpful tho.#also need to do a bit of research into the companies that are there and the interview style thingie#GOD this is going to be a whole hassle. i dont wanna wrinkle my stupid suit so i shouldnt stuff it in a bag.#and i dont wanna BIKE in the stupid suit. so im thinking of driving up to campus. forking over the money for guest parking#do the stupid career fair then drive back home to change and then go back up to campus on bus or bike in time for bowling#hopefully. we hope. nonzero chance of having to miss bowling and web coding classes tho. depending on how long i spend at this thing.#ultimately career bullshit is more important than one day of bowling so like. whatever.#but i still want a reward for sucking it up and going to the stupid career fair anyways. even tho i Really dont want to.#im already planning on skipping my first class. he made it sound like it would be fine + expected. so we can go to the career fair.#and that opens up a good amount of time so. doing that. and then hoping i can make it to bowling class...#it's funny to imagine if i didnt have time to go back home to change. me showing up to bowling in a suit.#im not doing that tho. this shit was too expensive to risk it doing physical activity.#BLARGH i am so supremely grumpy going to this thing. i dont want to. at all. i hate all this Professional Attire bullshit.#but i need to... and i already went thru the hassle of getting the damn suit... might as well just go.#i will simply pout and grumble the whole way. until tomorrow where it'll be full social smiles and whatever the fuck.#need to get enough sleep to make talking easier. no time for any fun stuff tonight.#need to find my damn. razor. bc i need to shave my little mustache thing probably. for 'professionalism'. ugh.#kicking and screaming this whole way. man i dont think i even own an ironing board. gonna have to hang the shit up and hope for the best#longest sigh imaginable... i just wanna write....... or play video games...... wahhhh#at least itll be over tomorrow. but then i will have to do presentation stuff for thursday. ughhhhhh
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a word of unsolicited advice....don't do two masters programs and two jobs all at the same time, bad idea
#at least not if you don't live with family or a partner that helps support you a lot with domestic affairs#this shit would be so much more manageable if i still lived at home. or even in a dorm on campus#and didn't have to worry about bills and groceries and cooking and cleaning everything all by myself every day...#i'm not really failing at anything at the moment. but i do really feel like i'm struggling to keep up with it all#and that i should be doing a better job. or at least that things should be easier. that i shouldn't feel so lost#or have to ask so many questions still#or feel so bad when there's food in the cupboard but i'm so exhausted and poorly planned my energy and time etc#that i end up ordering delivery once or twice a week just to keep myself fee after rehearsals. idk man#this would be so much easier if my dad still did the laundry and my mom always made me dinner...#i miss not being in charge of everything myself. it's a whole lot. it's more than i bargained for#but the only people i'm really comfortable enough with asking for that level of help and care from live two states away.....sigh#well. gotta write a paper tomorrow. and go to work at 6pm. and try to dig further in on assigned hw readings. wish me luck ig#i wanna talk about me
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When I was a kid I kept failing classes because I'd lose my homework. I'd finish it, but between the dining room table and the classroom it would just walk away. Sometimes it ended up in my backpack, sometimes it didn't; sometimes I finished the homework at school and it got home in my backpack but wasn't there the next day.
To attempt to address this, my parents got me a neon orange folder to put in my backpack; it was my homework folder, all homework was to go into that folder and that folder only, and it was to only come out of that folder when it was being worked on. I was to put homework in the homework folder as soon as it was assigned and if I'd worked on it, put it back in the folder as soon as it was finished. The logic here was that using the folder was supposed to be automatic, and you wanted a bright color so it wouldn't get lost in the depths of a backpack.
I think I lost about eight of those before my parents stopped buying orange folders.
So it was very frustrating to search "how to be organized at work as an adult with ADHD" only to get a list that said "set alarms and write things down and try to make friends with a more organized person" which was immediately followed by tips to help your ADHD child stay organized and the one right at the top was to put their homework in a bright folder so they couldn't lose it.
If you have been harmed by the ADHD Tips Industrial Complex you may be entitled to a packet of fun-dip and a cactus cooler as consolation for losing your homework folder again.
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I'm SORRY?! Did these people never have the experience of their parents getting disciplinary notes/phone calls from the school for writing "depressing/disturbing stories/poems"?! Or do schools not do that anymore and I have just become Old(TM)?!
there are two equally brainrotted yet diametrically opposed takes i’ve seen to many times. one is “why would anyone write an allegory for racism/ableism/oppression/sexism/homophobia when they could write about the real thing.” the other is “why would anyone want to portray, for entertainment, the harsh realities that real people actually suffer.” and the answer to both of these things is “you are too stupid to live.”
#like deadass if you wrote anything that could be considered vaguely depressing/disturbing for a school assignment#you could get written up for it as in it would be considered a black mark on your record#because if someone writes about disturbing things it usually meant they were trying to work shit out at home#which would cause you to be compassion-shamed by your teachers in the guise of 'helping'#or they would convince you to side with your parents ESPECIALLY if it was your mother who was abusing you#have things changed since the 2000s-2010s?!#enough so that people think only privileged people write about suffering?!#because when I was growing up it was reversed
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I have had. A day.
#went to centrelink to try and get help looking for a job because I have Zero work experience and really needed the help#the guy who was assigned for me just pointed me to the app and DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HOW IT WORKED#like sure I have a CRN now but I needed actual help figuring out what resources I could even apply for#then when I got home and was trying to fill out the questionnaire there were questions I couldn't answer#like. my living situation is none of the standard options!#if I'd been speaking to someone I could have explained it. but there were no boxes I could tick.#ended up breaking down crying out of sheer frustration
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...today I learned this is a thing, and a very specific type of "oh, I KNOW what it's like" ableism suddenly made sense, in a horrible, awful way.
also the reason those “disabled for a day” activities are stupid is that they can never truly capture any real disabled experience, they just make abled people THINK they know what disability is about
cool, you’ve gotten a group of uni students to use a wheelchair for a day. great, they now have an idea of how steep the slopes are and how many stairs there are. but do they know about the pain? the ableism? trying to navigate the healthcare system? trying to navigate any system for that matter?
they don’t. because they can’t really know. all you’ve done is made them think they understand the wheelchair-user experience, and therefore probably made them more confident than they should be
it’s infinitely more useful to give them the accessibility guidelines. get them walking around and measuring shit. have them talk to real disabled people until they start to believe us. I don’t know. just DON’T stick them in a wheelchair for a couple hours and let them believe they understand when they DO NOT
#shut up rie#in my time we did community service#all throughout high school and college#we got assigned a few people to help#and we helped by building ramps and doing construction work to accommodate them in their homes#we chaperoned them for doctor visits you know driving them there making appointments accompanying them in the buildings and waiting rooms#we also worked with asylums and retirement homes#just a solid 120 hours per semester
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