#honestly even if the positivity post or coining post is by a person who is of that experience it's like. okay and? that it?

[anomalymon]

The Plural Community Needs to Write More Essays and Make More Resources

This has been a pretty big push in the alterhuman community, but hasn't quite reached the plural community yet. So

Systems: Write about your experiences! Post them!

It doesn't have to be good or coherent, but we want to see more experiences that aren't just bland, blanket positivity posts or term coining with zero substance. Some of our favorite writings we've read have had poor grammar and disjointed paragraphs!

Reasons to write about your experiences:

It can make people who have that experience both realize they're not alone and learn ways they can explore that experience

It can be education for people who don't experience that so they can learn what it's like

It gives more potential for citation for those who are making more comprehensive resources

They can be used several years down the line to track trends and events within the plural community

Also want to combat anti-endos? Write about your experiences. Humanize yourself (for lack of a better term). Create solidarity with others and encourage them to be out about themselves. Don't let psychiatric texts, syscourse rants, and simple definitions be the only information about your group!

We'll tack on what we're interested in seeing, but feel free to reblog and add anything too:

Guides! Guides on how your system does things, or guides that can help other systems

How plurality intersects with other disabilities or neurodivergence

Headspace tours, art about your headspace, collages

The effects drugs or medication has on your system

Non-traditional roles, or even how traditional roles do their day to day tasks

Different types of plurality intersecting (i.e. systems who fit more than one of DID, endogenic multiplicity, medianhood, soulbonding, etc)

Spirituality and religion intersecting with plurality

Seriously, whatever you want to talk about

[divinerapturesys]

Welcome to my Ted Talk about AsPD, or Antisocial Personality Disorder, which the internet likes to coin as sociopath 👌🏻 if you don’t like long infodumps about stigmatized mental disorders from someone who is diagnosed, move on.

Quick toxic rundown: People with AsPD are generally characterized as emotionless, violent, manipulative abusers who kill animals and like to make other people their bitches. The biggest pet peeve we have is the emotionless, sadistic and abusive generalization.

Personally, we are highly neurotic, with highs and lows of: depression, frantic drive, self abuse tactics, chronic fear, lapses of rejection, overwhelming over-analyzation, grey area thinking, false goods and false bads, ultimatums, obsessive compulsive behavior, harsh self demands, and irritability.

AsPD is a disorder that is caused primarily (according to current research) by trauma and abuse in childhood; most notably being emotional neglect and absent caregivers that cause a child to have emotional shutdowns and repression episodes in an attempt to self soothe. Primary caregivers who do not bond with their children are also a factor. Children learn how to behave from those around them. If a primary caregiver is emotionally distant and unavailable, children will learn that is normal behavior and that’s how people are. If a primary caregiver does not provide empathy and sympathy during moments of distress and fear, children will learn that aloofness and disregard of others feelings is normal behavior. If a primary caregiver does not keep a child safe, children will learn that they should not prioritize their own safety or the safety of others. You can find my follow up post regarding this here.

Neglected and abused children often act out trying to get attention and help, often acting out in bad ways because they lack the ability to articulate what they’re feeling and what is happening to them. The pipeline for AsPD typically is: Oppositional Defiance Disorder as a child, Conduct Disorder as a teen, AsPD as an adult. There are a lot of warning signs cueing that AsPD is becoming a risk for development, but often kids do not have a support system to help negate it as it’s their support system that is usually a factor in its creation.

Being AsPD is like being an emotional La Croix 70% of the time. If you’re depressed, then it’s like someone in the other room has depression and is telling you about it. The other 30% of the time, if you’re depressed, your brain doesn’t understand how to handle it so it’s an ultimatum between doing something drastic to remove the Trigger or ignoring and dissociating for days on end.

People with AsPD are very good at ignoring things. Honestly it’s problematic as fuck but it’s not hard to ignore major issues when you just, don’t care. It’s not in the terms of being cruel or making ourselves not care, but the fact that finding the emotional willpower is so far out of our feasible reach we don’t do it. This causes us to piss people off because we don’t have the capacity to care as much as they want us to, even if we can and do to an extent.

Think of it this way: empathy/sympathy is a deep tub of water that everyone has. They can easily fill their measuring cup for the needed amount of empathy without any issues and it’s easy for them. People with AsPD don’t have a tub of water. We have shallow skillet. When we try to dip our cup to fill it, we can’t, it always comes up short and it is difficult to get any water in it as there is no room for the cup to dive. Our ability to care is limited because we do not have the same emotional resources everyone else does.

❌ False Positives & False Negatives ❌

I operate on what I’ve learned are called false positives and false negatives. These are things that are trained into the brain from an early age based off of childhood trauma and other factors. False positives are a distorted version of why we do something to help ourself and for our own good, meanwhile a false negative is something we do because it’s a threat, or based out of fear.

❌ Some of my false positives:

- It is good to be afraid of nothing

- It is good to adapt to someone’s personality if they are stronger than you

- It is good to isolate yourself

- It is good to be a silver tongue because you can get into any place you want

- It is good to become a social chameleon and shape yourself to whatever those around you need/want most, because then you have no chance of being abandoned

❌ Some of my false negatives, which can explain the false positives as well as core beliefs:

- it is bad to be afraid, if I am afraid then I am vulnerable and it can be used against me

- It is bad to be emotional or show concern for others emotions because they do not care for mine

- It is bad to be able to be exploited, because I believe it is everywhere

- It is bad to allow myself to be bored, because boredom begets bad thoughts and no one can or wants to help me when I spiral

- It is bad to not shape yourself to the social circle, because people quickly grow tired of those who do not match them perfectly and being discarded means I failed

My core beliefs can be viewed as the root for the false positives and negatives, because they are based on the core of trauma, abuse and neglect. They come from patterns and instances that make someone with AsPD become the opposite of what they experienced:

- eat or be eaten

- If I don’t show that my bite is worse than my bark, I will be taken advantage of and I must remain on top because the ones on top are safe

- I must look out for myself because nobody will do it for me

- It doesn’t matter what happens to me, therefore it doesn’t matter what people think of me

- If I cannot do something well, then I should not do it at all

- If you are dependent on others for emotional and mental well being, you are weak, therefore I must isolate myself to avoid becoming codependent and a burden and useless

- If I can handle the stress of a situation better than everyone else, therefore I will keep the problem (financial, emotional, mental, etc) to myself to reduce chances of being abandoned due to failure of perfection

People with AsPD are hard to get along with. We often:

- are always anticipating a fight

- lack respect for authority

- ignore social structures to an extent

- tendency to lie if it’ll lessen punishment or if we feel the lie is more acceptable than our actions

- limit social support because it’s wrong to be dependent on others

- have an inflated view of our own importance — which turns into a self ridicule for believing someome like me could be found important to others —

- can be rude and inconsiderate of others feelings somewhat unintentionally

- are unable to read the correct social cues in relation to empathy towards people and animals

- am constantly confused by others dependence upon empathy and inability to make desicions from logic based standpoints

We can’t speak for everyone who has AsPD, nor are we saying that no one with AsPD is capable of being a murderer/abuser etc. but we are saying that y’all need to stop automatically classifying someone as a certain “type” as soon as you know about their disorder.

One last thing I do want to point out is that it is not uncommon for people with AsPD to derive some sort of enjoyment in causing harm, doing something illegal, hurting someone or animals, etc. This entirely stems from lack of environmental control as a child. Being able to control what happens to others or being able to control the things you say or do that hurts someone else is a hefty high to get addicted to; it soothes the underlying itch of not being able to control your own trauma and abuse, so in turn you push these behaviors onto others and enjoy it because it gives you a sense of power and control. Some people with AsPD do genuinely love hurting others, and some enjoy hurting others when they believe it’s deserved or their ire has been stoked. Some enjoy causing pain to those they think deserve it, and others don’t care who they hurt as long as they feel like they’re in control of the situation.

Hope this have some insight into AsPD 🤙🏻 if y’all have any questions, shoot.

[pluralprompts]

[Had an error when trying to post an ask. This is our attempt at a work-around.]

Anonymous asked: Could you please put that your pro-endo in your bio? Considering the main difference between antis and pros is that we define "all plurals" differently, it's not very clear what you meant, and I thought you were anti-endo until I went through every single one of your side blogs mentioned in your pinned post

-an anti-endo who loves your prompts, the newest prompts tags just took me off guard <3

As you have noted, We use the term "plural" in our posts and blog name, which is inherently inclusive/pro-endo and has been since its coining decades ago, so I am not going to honor this unnecessary request. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but if you're using "plural" in any sort of anti-endo or generally exclusionist way, you are using it incorrectly, since it originated as an inclusive alternative to terms that had more medical associations. I'm honestly offended that you thought I was part of the same group of exclusionists that has openly and repeatedly told me they want me dead, have sent me gore in response to a positivity post, recently invaded inclusive tags to spread hate, and regularly tell me to kill myself – hell, you yourself are admitting that you are against my right to self-determination if not my very existence, alongside my religious and spiritual beliefs (I don't have to tell you how this in particular is an asshole move, do I?), and believe that you somehow know what's going on inside my head better than I or even – at the very least, if you won't listen to me and the thousands of other endogenic systems about our own lives – the doctors actually studying endogenic plurality do, considering our endogenic origins. I will not block you so that you can see this response, but you are not welcome here. Here is a document full of sources about endogenic plurality existing and being recognized as a real and valid scientific phenomenon, not to mention how it is a cultural, spiritual, and religious practice found around the world; I hope you educate yourself and grow as a person. You seem to be trying to be polite, so I can only hope that you are just someone who has been horribly misinformed about pro-endos and endogenic systems.

However, at the same time, please understand that you are asking a blog with an inherently inclusive term in the title and all their posts, and a pinned post that clarifies yes, they do mean they support all systems (and advise those who don't support all systems not to interact), to put a separate warning in their bio that yes, they actually really do mean it when they say they support all systems. The thing is, I wouldn't have a problem with this request if it wasn't under this context. You yourself have admitted that you read my pinned post; how did you take the section that says all systems/plurals are welcome (and exclusionists like you are not) and somehow think it meant we didn't actually mean all? If you're excluding anyone from your definition of "all plurals" by adding little rules like "must be traumagenic", you don't mean all. You mean some. You, as an anti-endo, as an anti- certain plurals, only support some plurals. Someone who is against part of a community does not support all of a community; they only support the part of the community they are not against, which is only some of the community. This is how quantitative words work. Just because you have decided that the part of the community you personally choose to support and give basic respect to is the only "real" or "valid" part of the community doesn't mean the part you don't support stops existing or stops using the label you claim to support fully and without any restrictions or rules (since that is what supporting all of a community means); you don't actually support all plurals, and I'm concerned that you ever thought you did. I could break out a Euler diagram if it would make it clearer that only supporting some does not mean supporting all, and that supporting all does not mean supporting only a particular group. That's like saying you support all animals while being anti mammals and, at best, believing they're all actually confused and misguided birds – or, as I'll elaborate on in a moment, saying you support all queer people while being an aphobe who, at best, thinks aspecs are all just confused and misguided gays. That is not support, and you are certainly not giving your actual respect to all plurals. I say this delicately, but I don't think you should be participating in syscourse if you have trouble with the concept that excluding people from a label means not being inclusive of all people who use that label.

If a comparison will help you understand our response, especially the passive aggressiveness that I can admit is fully leaking through – this ask is essentially the same as how aphobes, during the years of "ace discourse", would occasionally react with surprise that queer blogs supported aspecs, despite aspecs being documented parts of and contributors to the queer community for decades, and queer being an inclusive term. In essence, "I know you're using an inclusive term that both historically and in the modern day includes people I hate, but I really thought you would agree with me that said marginalized group that I hate shouldn't exist, and that this community would be better off if they were all gone!" Meanwhile, aphobes were posting gore in the aspec tags, making fun of the murder of an asexual girl, spreading lies of pedophilia about anyone who showed support for aspecs, and telling aspecs that they were lying about the discrimination they've faced, that their sexualities were just trauma responses or mental illnesses, that they were broken and needed to be "fixed", that they were "stealing terms" and "making the community look bad", that they were making it all up for attention, or just straight-up to kill themselves. None of these examples are all too dissimilar from what I regularly see anti-endos saying and doing – some of them are the exact same save some of the specific words used by these bigots swapped out for more system specific ones. Just today I saw an anti-endo claim that pro-endos are "grooming children" just by being inclusive, like how aphobes claim aspec people are "grooming children".

Yes, I am aware this is harsh to hear. No, I am not going to apologize – your community and hatred is part of the reason we have traumagenic origins (hello, the one writing this is a protector who split specifically due to the trauma you anti-endos inflicted on us!! In other words, your community is directly responsible for my traumagenic existence!! Should I be thanking you for allowing me a chance to experience the better parts of life? Hm, nah.) and are scared to interact with others who share our own damn disorder. You claim the "main difference" between us and you is that we define "all plurals" differently, but from where we're standing, the "main difference" is that pro-endos aren't regularly traumatizing, harassing, suicide baiting, mocking and insulting, spreading misinformation about, using slurs against, wishing harm on, and fakeclaiming the other side, often for merely disagreeing with them. We just came out of a harassment campaign in which anti-endos spread hate in our inclusive tags and spaces for weeks. I'm fucking sick of syscourse and being told I should kill myself for the "crime" of being inclusive of endogenic systems like the ones that helped me accept my plurality in the first place, or the pro-endos that create resources that help me manage my DID and not be a dissociative wreck all the time. To say the main difference between our communities is "how we define 'all plurals'" is a spit in the face of all the shit I and many, many others have faced from anti-endos like you over the years.

If you change your stance and learn not to hate others for their religions, cultures, traits they can't control, and personal beliefs and choices about their own body and mind, we will be happy to welcome you to our community and this blog. But until then, you need to re-evaluate your priorities and morals in life. Are you fine with being part of a community that twists others' words on the regular to make it seem like they're promoting child abuse? Are you chill with the fact that I exist as a protector to defend my system from people like you, the same way many others in my system exist to protect us from other abusers and threats to our safety and health? Are you okay with telling a living, breathing person you admire and enjoy the work of that you disagree with their identity and existence, and that you ally yourself with those who want them dead just for existing, have even personally threatened their life and well-being, as you have just done with this ask?

What took me off-guard was this ask and just how horribly you seem to be unaware of basic concepts like "plural is an inclusive term signaling someone is pro-endo" and "'all systems' does not mean 'only traumagenic systems'." But I guess in a way, it's only fair; you mistook me for one of those who hate my guts – while I can't tell even as I type this if you are a troll or not.

TLDR: No, we will not clarify in our bio that we are pro-endo, because there is no need to do so when we already use terms that signal that everywhere on our blog, and our pinned post even clarifies our stance in the rare case someone doesn't know the signal. You have been horribly misinformed; you cannot support "all plurals" while being against certain plurals, and "plural" is an inclusive term anyway even without that clarification. Again, you have misunderstood our pinned post which tells anti-endos like you to fuck off, which is almost funny considering we put that section in the post due to the horrendous amounts of harassment we and other pro-endos (not even just endogenic systems; a lot of anti-endos group all of us together as "fakers spreading misinformation") have faced from anti-endos like you. Please go think about the kind of people you're spending time with, and ask yourself if you're okay with being part of the same group of people that wants those like me dead for the crime of existing in a way that doesn't adhere to one specific medical model whose authors acknowledge isn't the only way to be more-than-one, anyway.

Have the day you deserve! <3

[strawberryamanita]

Okay, so... hoo boy.

I try to acknowledge every time I make a political post that I cannot tell anyone what to do. I'm one irrelevant person, I'm not a political spearhead nor do I want to be one, I haven't been able to sway anyone about anything, yadda yadda blah blah blah. If this post gets completely overlooked, so be it. If I get verbally trampled-on by people who don't agree with me, so be it.

But while everyone else is causing a flood of coins on the floor, I'll throw my own 2 cents in.

I think what would be helpful right now -- just in this moment, for the short-term -- is getting through these feelings of worry and despair and panic that I see many posts on my feed announcing. The facts are in front of us: there was an assassination attempt, it failed, and that's worrying because it's gonna embolden the Right even further than they've already been lately. That's completely reasonable to be upset about, it's not irrational to see the danger this will put us in on the streets on the days leading up to the election.

At the same time, there ARE, believe it or not, some positive facts that are having an impact on your life right now. Trump had to go the hospital. He could possibly have a heart-attack. He could possibly go septic. He could possibly be assigned a medical professional that is brave enough to kill him. There was a person brave enough earlier today to show him and his following that enough people in the world hate him to want him dead. Social media being flooded with cheers that he was injured and laments that it didn't kill him is further proof to said willfully ignorant following that they are in the minority. Even if more US voters are enthusiastic about Trump as I type this, most of the world wants him obliterated, and that should be something to hang onto. So much of this is about ego and confidence of the Right. It's not in our best interest to let them think they have a leg up on us.

And the biggest piece of good news is, the US presidential election didn't happen yet! That wasn't the last stand right there, that wasn't the ballot count or the televised verdict. "Surviving" a non-lethal shot that didn't hit any important organs or arteries doesn't mean you automatically win an election. That didn't push an Eject button on Biden's seat to launch him out of the White House or anything like that.

Trump is not invincible. He is not immortal. He is not unkillable. And just because his cult of followers want to canonize him (though they wanted to do that before he was even elected the first time), that doesn't mean WE are obligated to throw in the towel and hang our heads and lick their heels. If it's cathartic or it's helping you de-stress, then by all means cry all you need to -- but we unfortunately can't afford to let this sink us into a collective depression.

He didn't win an election that hasn't happened yet. I promise you this. Look on ecosia.org if you need proof of who is in-office, since they don't use AI(currently).

And no, none of this is to downplay anything. I'm not living in a lie. I promise you, I've been making myself physically ill from the horrors of the world I've been exposed to, day after day, non-stop, on this fucking website. If exposing myself to the bottomless abyss of human evil actually desensitized me and helped me be less fearful, it would've worked by now, but all it does is exhaust me.

It honestly oftentimes makes me actively suicidal -- and I know for a fact I'm not the only one, especially after today, or when Trump was granted legal immunity, or any of these other awful past days. But if I killed myself before I did everything I could to keep this sinking ship of a country afloat just a little longer, that wouldn't be responsible of me.

So, if you're still reading, and not already typing out some response accusing me of things I already tried to tell you I'm not doing before you even finish reading...

Now is the time to practice being brave.

Look at the facts. Don't let yourself spiral from doomscrolling. Cry when you need to, and then keep going. Vote in every local election you can, attend protests and rallies, spread information from trustworthy sources to every social media handle you have -- and for God's sake, find something to keep you hopeful. Escapism is a survival tool: as long as you aren't using it to avoid reality, it doesn't have to be eliminated from your life. You will feel stronger if you let yourself recharge with moments of happiness, I guarantee this.

If you're too suicidal to keep going for yourself, keep going for someone else. It can be someone in your immediate life, it can be a stranger suffering overseas, it can be a child who hasn't been born yet that will see a future built on top of our present. Whatever it takes to keep you from giving up, put it to the front of your mind. Link arms with your Leftist siblings, and then make a habit of it. We cannot keep collapsing from the inside from the smallest of inconveniences, it helps literally none of us.

It's not over until they ring that bell. We have 3 and a half months, don't lose speed now.

I believe in you.

[red-elric]

theyre foils theyre foils theyre playing the same type of role theyre holding similar positions among their friends and the narrative their backgrounds and outlooks have fundamental parallels but their dispositions are fully antithetical to one another. this is about vriska and karkat btw.

its about doing their best to play a role in alternian society. its vriska desperately looking up to and imitating mindfang and killing other kids to avoid being eaten by her own lusus, its karkat training to become a threshecutioner and glueing his lips to )(IC's boots despite knowing he'll be killed without a thought when his mutation is discovered. its how both of them felt that pressure to kill and grandstand and become a LEADER but while vriska had the strength to actually follow through with it karkat had the strength to choose not to. its how if either one of them hadnt been there no one on their team would have made it through sgrub. its how every single person hurt by vriska turns to karkat instead afterwards (karkat telling aradiabot hed dedicate a whole team to bringing her back to life if he could in openbound. tavros texting karkat for help when he was paralyzed. sollux being one of karkats best friends at the beginning of hivebent, and seeming to have cut a lot of ties with the rest of the flarp crew. kanaya putting her energy into taking care of karkat after vriska broke her heart. terezi falling into some sort of romance with karkat after cutting ties with vriska. eridan asking karkat for advice over and over again after being dumped by vriska, and actually getting it too.)

its the way they so badly want to BE each other. karkat wants to be feared and respected, vriska wants to be loved unconditionally. vriska, who can see everyone shes ever cared about giving up on her and gravitating towards karkat, but still treats him with as much respect (or more!) as anyone else. she never tries to kill him, she never truly undermines his position among the team, she just faces him head on and treats him like an actual person, even when she takes over leadership post retcon. karkat, who has heard time and time again how much vriska sucks, who fully understands how much she has hurt so many of his friends, who isnt afraid to say to her face his opinion of her, but still gives her the benefit of the doubt to anyone asking. when she's kicked off the blue team and asks him if she can join the red team, he still lets her, and he's always willing to give her a second chance, especially if terezi's backing that choice. its how they want to be seen the way the other is seen, and they offer that respect/clemency to the other, and neither of them really knows how to hold it

its about terezi. isnt everything? its about loving her to the point of obsession, and how terezi feels like she has to choose between them, she cant or wont choose them both. its the flip of a coin, vriska, then karkat, then vriska again, and theyre the same coin really but they cant both be face up at the same time. its about how they both desperately need her attention, her salvation, her protection, her judgement, and they cant both get it, and they know it. its a little about john, too, about being his two guides through sburb, and honestly about how they both had a crush on him.

its about how when vriska died the team fell apart, crushed by inaction. its about how when karkat started to feel irrelevant (because he lost that moment of soothing gamzee and ending the cycle of violence on the meteor. vriska neutralized him instead, and karkat lost his importance) the team stopped feeling like a collection of real people, with strong connections to one another. its the delicate balance between the thief of light, the one who takes all of the narrative relevance she can get and will tear everything apart to make sure its all about her; and the knight of blood, the one who unites the shared feelings and connections of everyone together and heals and protects what has been hurt by her. they complement each other, and they need to stay balanced so that she doesnt burn out too quickly and leave him with nothing to protect, so that he isnt overwhelmed by her light leaving her unfettered.

[lady-embers]

I just read your post about Nesta and parentification and would like to add a point:

Nesta mentioned Feyre teaching (or atleast tried to teach) her how to use a bow and arrow. At some point of time both these sisters walked out into the woods and Nesta agreed to try her hand at hunting.

They were both young. Nesta did household chores (chopping wood etc etc like you mentioned) and Feyre hunted and provided for the family but Nesta wasn't just sitting on her ass the entire time. Feyre probably felt bitter towards her eldest sister for not stepping up but that doesn't mean her sister did nothing. Their way of making sure the family survived was different.

"Oh but Feyre said that the sisters spent money recklessly." Of course she did. They were poor. Living in a HUT that barely had a functioning roof. Every single coin spent for anything at all mattered. Their priority was to save money for everything. Buying coats or shoes or whatever is money being spent and that was bad. They were desperate and bitter. (Yes Feyre too. You can clearly catch that from the first few chapters of book one)

Personally speaking, I see the mighty High Lord and his pet General Cassian complaining about Nesta and her contribution – or lack of as they claim – wayy more than Feyre herself.

Nesta even went back to the forest when Feyre was under the mountain, she thought about crossing the wall because her sister had just returned from the fae lands and had barely stayed for a while before she went back.

IF NESTA HADN'T TOLD FEYRE ABOUT THE PREGNANCY I MYSELF WOULD HAVE JUMPED INSIDE THE BOOK AND TOLD HER. Nesta was pissed off and obviously she said it to point out just how shitty Feyre's mate is. But bruh Feyre deserved to know from the very moment Rhys himself found out. If I was in Nesta's position, my sister's husband would get punched in the face High Lord or not.

I totally forgot about Feyre trying to teach Nesta how to use a bow and arrow! Good point!!

Feyre was definitely bitter about being the one who hunted and brought in the income and therefore she deems her oldest sisters household efforts as useless or not enough in her thoughts. This is the same mentality though that a lot of men, and people in general, have towards SAHM. They claim SAHM just sit at home all day doing nothing but fail to take in that running a household is a full time job in itself because there is cooking, cleaning, mending/washing of clothes, keeping the house warm during winter, etc and if you were to outsource those jobs you'd be paying a LOT of money to do so.

As for the money point, Feyre says Nesta didn't need new boots as hers was "new" but in ACOSF its revealed that Nesta shoes weren't as new as Feyre portrayed them as. They actually had holes and were worn down. That shows us Feyre viewpoint isn't all that reliable during that time. She views her sisters spending the money recklessly but was that really the case? Now, I'm not saying they haven't spent money recklessly in the past, but Feyre is definitely blinded at times because of the bitterness she has towards her sisters.

I know Nesta herself said she could have done more and has regrets about that time and how she treated Feyre, but honestly, she did what she could during that time. They were all in a poor situation just trying to keep afloat and survive.

And Rhys and Cassian really have no room to talk. They weren't there. They only got Feyre viewpoint and judged the sisters without even really getting to know them. Feyre herself forgave her sisters and was trying to make mends in their relationship and all those two did was cause more heartache and strife and made it more difficult on them all.

I also think a lot of people forget Nesta went to the wall after Feyre, and even was the one to encourage Feyre to go back to Tamlin.

And yesss to your last little bit about the pregnancy situation. I will defend Nesta to my dying breathe over her finally telling Feyre the truth. I'm sure Feyre herself would do the same given she wasn't even mad at Nesta, or really upset at how Nesta told her. She was actually grateful that Nesta told her and pissed at everyone else for keeping it a secret. I love Feyre for that.

[decimal86]

Ranking The Incident's members from "normal-ish straightman" to "interesting weirdo (affectionate)" based on their personalities. I am sorry if you disagree, but I respect your opinions on this matter.

1. Shrimp. Despite her admittedly off-putting smile, she's also just a very kindhearted young girl with a love for music. Consistently seems to fill the role as a younger sibling for other members to defend. Shrimp just wants to make others happy and seems like a relatively normal shark girl idol.

2. Big Bill. Surprisingly, for a buff, humanoid duck, he actually seems pretty chill. Don't have much to say about him, so he gets this by default.

3. Orion. Probably the closest to the "traditional" heroic archetype, being a strong and devoted family man with plenty of skill as a swordsman. He loves his daughter, plays both classes to the best of his ability, and is probably the voice of reason a lot of the time. The only thing keeping him down a bit is his odd attempts at giving presents and seeing an immortal chef with a thousand-yard stare and massive eyebrows as the best pick for a partner.

4. Erica. In a way, I see her and Orion as two sides of the same coin, being dedicated warriors who changed classes with a strong urge to keep their team safe. However, her Season 2 development led to her throwing much of her caution to the wind, so her temper and violent streak knock her placement down a bit. Still, I definitely could see her being the type to call others on their crap and forcing herself back into the straightwoman role if really needed. Very much a case of "only functional by comparison."

5. Failboat. The man, the myth, the definitely (maybe) not a furry, he's... gone through a lot since the first season. While it's difficult to say where the creator ends and the character's personality begins, I personally see C!Fail as a pretty nice guy, just world-weary and desperate for a break after his experience of the world. (TBF, makes sense given his relationship with Chat). Also, any man who eats spaghetti with cat paws on cannot be labeled as normal.

6. Bo. Certainly not the most unhinged even after her vampire transformation, but her generally seeming on edge a lot of the time makes me feel she deserves this position. Honestly, I'd just say her position fluctuates as much as Failboat's and Erica's.

7. Friend. While we likely can't truly judge a maybe-divine entity with human norms, I do think them being fairly serene and forgiving, yet also casting Righteous Anger with zero hesitancy and a stone cold smile, can speak for itself.

8. Mar. While his stoicism and apathy towards the zany nature of his party do make him appear normal at first, I'd argue it also makes him nearly as unhinged as the two members below him. Except, instead of being the "blast the door off the hinges" unhinged, he's the "saw it down and let it fall over" kind of unhinged. An odd mix of blank mindedness, Italian plumber cosplay, and top-notch leadership. To quote one of the memes @gnomey22 posted, Mar is "queer as in gay, yes, but also queer as in really very peculiar." He sees recklessness but willingly chooses to just watch it happen.

9. Chi. This, THIS is a character that I feel like could actually break everything in her body, survive and get healed, and immediately repeat whatever it is she just did—either for science, her love of fire, or just because it's fun. Sometimes for her friends, yeah, but mostly one of the above things. She sees everything from gender norms and to the laws of chemistry and just goes, "Hmm... nah, not really up for that," and defies them openly and instantaneously. Honestly, though, I vibe with it. Can definitely see why a lot of people like her!

10. Chat. I mean, what did you expect? They're a loose cannon both literally and figuratively. They spread mayonnaise on Failboat's head when he was ill. Proclaimed their friendship with their team before firing them at the enemy. They're a bundle of untamed voices, like a nest of fire ants who lost a pheromone trail.

...Well, that took longer than I thought. Hope anyone who sees this enjoyed it, though!

[destinygoldenstar]

In defense of Noah.

So I got noted quite a bit in my Owen post (which blew up A LOT more than I initiated. Wow.) that I did not mention that Noah was... not the nicest person in the world to Owen in RR, and yet I claimed they were friends. 

I wanted to say my thoughts on that.

Will this be bias because I love Noah? Yeah. Probably.

I’m not gonna act like Noah was traditionally nice to Owen. Not ever, actually. He did laugh at Owen’s milk snot in World Tour, and a couple times I’m too lazy to recall right now, but not much else that can be deemed as ‘friendly.’

Really, has Noah EVER been traditionally a friendly person? To ANYONE?

He deals with his interactions with a smirk and a rude demeanor. With the exception of Emma, who I will get to later, he talks in the sarcastic tone we love about him. 

I understand where that criticism comes from. Despite becoming good friends with Owen and staying with him on multiple reality shows, he doesn’t really show that much kindness towards him. Heck, he doesn’t really show that to anyone and constantly forces people to do the hard work for him. Dodgebrawl? The Tyler stretching incident? That’s not OOC. 

But... I honestly liked it. And here’s why.

It was just really wholesome to see this stone faced lazy guy get slapped in the face with sincerity and make a much healthier life for himself. Better than working for Chris anyway.

Noah’s someone very introverted and, lets face it, spoiled. The game might actually be the first time he was rejected ever. After Island, he became Chris’s little assistant, and that says all, and in World Tour, he actually does try to dodge hard challenges first (remember the pinball challenge?) And who forces him into a position to always be on guard? Owen. Mostly because Owen is probably gonna (accidentally) kill Noah. And Alejandro, who is sus.

I See London is the first episode where Noah legit takes charge in something. He’s not nice about it, I don’t expect him to be, but they had to win the challenge. It’s not the rules were gonna change on them at the last minute- oh wait.

(I mean, it’s Total Drama. Hosted by Chris McLean. So... I’m not as mad about that as you think I would be.)

But let me ask this: If Noah had no care for Owen whatsoever, WHY would he even stay with Owen for so many reality shows? 

I’ll wait.

Of course Noah isn’t gonna outright say he cares about him, or even be good at encouraging his partner. “You’re about as picky as a raccoon”, is essentially his poor way of encouraging that he can do it. Unlike Emma, who only saw Kitty as an asset to winning the money at first, Noah knows who Owen is, and tries to help them both. Could he be nicer about it? Yes. But that’s not the point. The point is ‘how would this be an in character way for them to deal the situation?’

“Hold on, but he developed all these feelings for Emma and constantly tried to impress her” -The reblog section

Here’s the big case.

That whole thing is only proof that Owen’s good nature DOES rub off on Noah. Better yet, being forced into situations where he has to actually TRY to make it and survive. 

And a crush? Yeah, that’ll let that all out at once. It’s basically, Noah recognizes that he legit WANTS something that’s hard to get. Of course he’s bad at dealing with emotion and struggling with something that seems so... sappy. This is a whole new experience for him. 

And as much as you may want to deny it, Noah is NOT just an emotionless sarcastic machine. If that were the case, he wouldn’t laugh at Owen’s milk shake at all, which that too, could’ve easily come across as unconventional for him. 

(I don’t want to talk about the ‘But there were hints that Noah was gay, and yet he becomes straight’ stuff. I don’t hate it, and that’s coming from someone graysexual. Total Drama is bad at representation. The fandom just wants to ignore the facts because they love the show and the characters anyway. If I wrote Total Drama, would I have made Noah gay? Coin toss. But what’s canon is canon, write a fanfic instead of whining to the writers. Over.)

For me at least, I just found it really wholesome to see this brainiac become way more understanding and better at relationships as the show went on. 

With Emma, it’s understanding her boundaries in order to properly be with her. 

With Owen, he does actually get better at showing his care for Owen as RR goes on. It’s Owen who helps him in the air guitar challenge, and from there, the bossiness towards the big guy becomes way less frequent. 

Total Drama doesn’t have it’s characters blatantly say, “I’m sorry I treated you badly” or “I’ll try to be better” or “I care about you and I want you around”. Some shows do that, in my writing I do that, but that’s never been this show’s style. So of course Noah isn’t gonna blatantly apologize or say “I need you.”

Would I have liked for Noah to have said this sort of stuff out loud? Yeah.

Would I have liked for Noah to have more screen time to flesh out what I’m talking about? YES.

But for what we have, I still love Noah as a character. He’s not the best written character in the show, but sometimes you don’t care.

Who knows? Maybe I’ll make a Noah centric fic that takes place in an alternate timeline of the show. where he DOES get the screen time to flesh out what I’m trying to say. No promises though. 

[beachesgetpeaches]

The problem with stans in general, is everything is taken to the extreme.

This isn't about you, but this showed me how hypocritical some fans are, for or against the relationship.

Like, if you don't think her relationship is our business, why are you trashing Joe and her other exes like you know the full story?

And on the other side, if you care so much about what Matty has done, and how Taylor's reputation as an activist is getting damaged, why don't you listen to people that call her out for her silence on big issues like drag bans, or why she mainly speaks up only when something directly impacts her?

And people want to call others problematic, but then they're sending death threats?? Make it make sense.

I agree wholeheartedly! And just to put it out there as a bit of a disclaimer but any post I make about Taylor/Joe is not anti-Joe (like I am mainly focused on Taylor and how she can be quite petty in these situations, and it's similar to what I've done in a very very similar situation).

Honestly, I think the entire situation can be studied to determine just how strong the currency of wokeness is online. People talk about performative activism (specifically with regard to Taylor) but all of this... IS performative. This public "lynch" on Matty (in this case) shows as you've written the hypocrisy of people in the fandom. And if we consider them a somewhat representative sample of a larger dataset, we could say it showcases the hypocrisy of people online.

Also the unwillingness or maybe even fear (?) to be free to have an opinion which differs from the loudest opinion shouted. Or to have a point of view which is uniquely their own and not a copy-paste from the mob.

Either way - based on all things I've seen lately: instant passionate reaction and putting a lot of expectations on Taylor based on who she dates (kind of reeks of some odd form of sexism or smth), death threats being sent to Matty (and/or his mother even?), "demonisation" of addiction (and also hoping another person would OD), and then this swift (ha-ha pun intended) switch up on Joe in a matter of hours...

... like I know a good portion of fandom is trying to find a villain in this parasocial narrative which has been created but idk maybe it's us. Maybe stans and stanning is the problem.

(note: I am not trying or aiming to imply that people who feel hurt by Taylors choices are "a problem", to me the reactions and how I've seen a lot of people behave is the issue.)

Lbr, even the origin of the word stan is indicative of its negative form (idk if a positive one even exists)

While some say the term is a combination of "fan" and "stalker," "stan" was first coined in 2000 when Eminem dropped a twisted allegory in a song called "Stan," about a man who was pushed to the edge when his idol wouldn't answer his fan mail. The word used to be synonymous with overzealous or obsessed.

[chromecries]

my mcc season 2 highlights!

these are my favourite povs from season 2! im quite focused on the whole mcc viewing experience, so there will be whole vods in here, as well as enjoyable and/or high scoring individual and team performances, alongside some funny moments. keep in mind i am a jordan and enjoyer, and i expect a lot of this to be jordan and jojo focused!! (tumblr has a ten link limit per post, so the last three povs do not have a link, but they're all easy to find as they are recent as of now! just up on yt)

yellow15 is honestly one of my personal favourite teams ever. it took one game, ace race, for them to move up to 2nd from 6th, and is one of the best scoring ace races of all time. really nice teamwork from then on, and even if they got swept in db, they had great comms and lots of funny moments together. 

purple16 OHHH MY GOD this team was crazy especially in the last moments of sg- i would highly recommend the whole pov to see their bm dominance and everything else too! This events sg was one of my faves so i recommend sylvees pov of that as well, its so chaotic but funny to watch in terms of context for the rest of the game!! 

yellow16’s sot was one of my favs this season, with it being a unique team that surprisingly did well together! hbomb was a runner whilst he helped ponk who was sandkeeper on his first ever mcc, leading yellow into first place with 5k coins!! An insane run, with funny moments from george, reacted to by hbomb in his vod reviews. 

Mcc17 - this mcc is so special to me, as it is to so many other people, like the mcsr and hermitcraft community on here!! I highly recommend you watch both orange and pinks whole povs. In terms of team composition, experience and strengths, they were so different, so they had completely different feeling mccs. orange17 were Chilling and smoothly working their way to db, communicating with ease and trusting in their experience and each other.(petes ace race was so SMOOTH here too)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5W_S4dJoFaM&t=5182s

pink17 really went up against every obstacle to make it to db, even co-sandkeeping from zeuz and vixella to manage sot, and to top it all off a crazy sg performance from them! 

Aqua17 sg- now this one. Is not great but their pov when facing pink in skybattle is very funny

Aqua17 sot - vault clutch from jordan that got them to 2nd place! well co-ordinated :) 

rising was really nice, and i wasnt expecting to love it so much tbh! The energy around the event felt so different, with 40 contestants that were barely known to the community at the time. So many people spent hours practicing and gained whole followings from the event, notably the orange ocelots(eloise and owen now work for noxcrew, and bekyamons just been introduced to the main roster of mcc players, alongside all 3 of them being more well known ccs) yoshinom and makoinari. Owen has a great video about his time during rising that is really well put together and is so worth watching! 

pink was an absolute treasure of a team, so wonderful to watch them all pop off respectively, especially jojo and nestorio! Jojo had a great hero moment in the events most chaotic sot, and this was my first time watching nestorio, who was so sweet and positive during the event. Pink had a really lovely db too:) 

pink22 obviously. OBVIOUSLY this is here it was so crazy from their pov too. 4 corners of the community unexpectedly worked so well together, had GREAT comms, especially in pkt and meltdown! A really nice sot, as well as a clutch first place in tgttos from the one and only oli the orion sound!!

THE GOLDEN GALS OH them them them them them them them them them them i am so insane about them really. such a highlight to not only get an womens team BUT little did we know that this was the beginning of this being regular in mcc!! sylvees space race reaction was so good as well as her and jojo celebrating at the end of their run! It was so cute and i think my fave moment all season!! Jojos ace in bb, overall crazy teamwork and good vibes from the whole team. soo so good 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5N1U3Wciqo0

cyan24 had such a nice run up to the event. this season kinda sees the end of practice streams but jojo caught on to how much they help, because its about the Bonding not the Minecraft Practice! they prepared so much and it really payed off, especially with their sot!!

green25 just. So good i am so happy they won obviously they are really really strong, but they deserved it i think. There is no other pov for 25, its green till the end. Jojo continues to lead her team in such a nice relaxed way i love her

teal28 i cant believe jordan won AGAIN and its with some of The people Ever for him. Punz from yellow15(remember them) and sneeg from cyan18 and blue23(both close third places) and jimmy alllll the way back from blue3, which was the first ever 9/9 bb, and second time jordan lost a db. It felt like full circle moment for jordan to win with these three, and for teal to SWEEP DB omg. 1) jordan himself had been swept so much, and he had been swept in mcc15 with punz and in mcc3 with jimmy. 2) jimmys 1V3 i have never screamed such a scream it was so impressive

red28 crazy little sot from them to finish off the season. Jojo does it again my little shining star i love her sm i could talk about her forever and ever and ever but thats for another post

[s4rfoo]

W1 - Intro to Technopreneurship and Test Results

Getting to know Technopreneurship

While I'm typing this blog post, I've noticed that Grammarly which is an extension for fixing grammatical errors while I type, detects "technopreneurship" as an unknown word. When I look it up in the dictionary, I find that the word "technopreneurship" is not included. Even the Google dictionary doesn't provide a meaning for the word. Based on my Google search, technopreneurship is a combination of "technology" and "entrepreneurship," a term coined by business-minded individuals who rely on technology to start, develop, and make a business venture profitable.

Honestly, I didn't grasp the concept of technopreneurship completely at first. However, as our instructor began the lecture, I gained a much clearer understanding of the subject. The enthusiasm and openness of our instructor in class made the learning experience exciting for me. While the instructor is a bit strict, I find it to be a positive aspect, and overall, I appreciate the course. Technopreneurship, for me, is an essential subject that prepares students who aspire to become entrepreneurs in the future, particularly those inclined to leverage technology in their ventures.

My Test Results

- MBTI Personality Test -

Actually, I am shocked by my latest personality test. Not too long ago, probably when I was in senior high, I took a personality test on the same website. I distinctly remember that my result was INFJ-T back then. However, upon retaking the test now, I am identified as an ISFJ-T. According to my latest results, I have become more observant compared to what I remembered. In the past, I recall being more on the intuitive side, but the other traits remain the same.

- Bank Code Personality Report -

BNKA stands for Blueprint - Nurturing - Knowledge - Action. Each letter has its list of corresponding values. In taking the test, I prioritized the Blueprint card first, followed by the Nurturing card, then the Knowledge card, and lastly, the Action card, resulting in the acronym BNKA. The outcome suggests a trustworthy and responsible individual that many people can depend on.

Based on that report, I believe it's not sufficient to categorize me solely as a trustworthy and responsible person that others can depend on. The results seem somewhat limited but are also considerate, recognizing that tests are theoretical and can provide insights that may align with our true selves. Ultimately, we are the ones who truly know who we are.

- Innovation Mindest Evaluation -

In this test, my results were mediocre. My Personal Innovation Mindset Level is currently 58.62% out of 100%. In my innovation mindset analysis, my trust is at 44%, resilience at 72.5%, Diversity at 62.5%, and Belief at 60%. The lowest percentage I received is for trust, and reflecting on it, it seems somewhat accurate for me since I tend to lack trust in other people. The result suggests that I must trust others more to enhance the speed of communication and feedback for new ideas.

On the other hand, the highest percentage I achieved is for resilience, which resonates with me as an individual. I view my failures as learning opportunities, a chance to grow and become a better version of myself.

Final Thoughts

The tests I have taken, including the MBTI and Innovation Mindset Evaluation, are inherently theoretical. While some results resonate with me as an individual, they don't definitively define who I am because they are subjective rather than objective. I believe that personality and traits can evolve over time; in essence, people change. However, certain aspects of our personality and traits may endure, becoming integral parts of our character. Despite this, it's crucial to recognize that these tests offer a subjective perspective on our personalities from someone else's viewpoint.

[a34trgv2]

It's Complicated: My Spiritual Beliefs vs The World

I'm a Christian. Or, at least, I'm a flawed Christian. I thought I had grown spiritually since being baptized in Jesus' name and receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost back in 2014. The reality is my beliefs have become more complicated as I try to balance my spiritually beliefs with my own personal beliefs. This is gonna be a long post so I'd strap in if I were you.

Let's start with what I believe wholeheartedly. I believe there is one God and His name is Jesus. I also believe the 10 Commandments are valid and reasonable decrees, that the Devil is a bully and a liar, and that Heaven and Hell are real places. While these beliefs shouldn't be controversial, things get a little more complicated when it comes to the other things Christians believe.

Christianity generally believes you must always forgive people even when it's hard. While it's true Jesus forgives everyone, the mentality that you MUST forgive people doesn't sit right with me. As far back as I can remember, forgiveness has always been a choice, not a requirement. By saying you have to forgive someone, you not giving people the right to choose, which God did in the very beginning. I don't think you should force or be critical of someone who chooses not to forgive. That's their choice; you don't have to agree with it, but you should empathize with them.

Another hot topic when it comes to Christianity in regards to homosexuality. It's well documented that Christianity considers homosexual practices a sin and is the catalyst for the destruction of nations such as Sodom and Gomorrah and the Roman Empire. I once thought similarly that it was undoubtedly sinful when I was uneducated and naive. Now that I'm older and have done actual research, I don't think it's as black and white as I once thought. The term "homosexual" was only coined recently in the 1800s and wasn't in the original Hebrew text of the Bible. Christians point to Leviticus 18:22 as proof positive that homosexuality is a sin, though what's often left out is the context. Leviticus comprises of what God was telling His people what to do and what not to do through Moses when constructing their own nation. It's also worth noting that God never elaborated on what He meant by "Thou shall not lie with mankind as with womankind." Who is "thou?" Thou Moses? Thou the people of Israel? Were all the people of Isreal male? No, there were women too, so was the verse just applied to the men? If so, why not specify that? And why not specify that the problem isn't being so much a man being affectionate with another man, but being lustful as he would a woman is an abomination? Literally everybody agrees that perverts are the real bane of humanity's existence, so why not say that instead of being vague? This is why I can't in good conscience be anti-LGBTQ; there's no objective answer to whether being gay is actually good or not.

One aspect about my beliefs that I have a hard time grappling with is prayer. Try as I might, I just can't kneel down and talk to an invisible God that doesn't talk back in a voice that's above a whisper. I've seen other Christians get really into prayer, to the point where they're crying and speaking in tongues. Me, though, I just can't get myself that emotional when I'm praying. I don't know if it's because I'm not as emotional of a person or prayer just isn't the best method for me to communicate with God. Either way, I just can't pray honestly without making it look awkward, like I'm talking to nothing... no one.

I'm not really a fan of the idea of forcing Christianity down people's throats. Like, it seems a really counter productive to force people to renounce their way of living in favor of living for Christ. Again, everyone has to have the right to choose. God specifically created man with the right to choose. I do agree that Christians should continue to preach the gospel and offer people an opportunity to join the church. That said, I personally draw the line at telling people they have to join the church or else they'll go to Hell. To someone who's not a Christian, being told they'd go Hell if they don't follow God's commandments to a tee and be just like Jesus makes it sound more like a cult than a religion. I don't want to give off the wrong impression so I think it's best to treat others with dignity and respect and offer them a business card to my church than to go on a long winded sermon about how this world is entering a dark age.

I don't know when Jesus Christ is coming back, but I don't think it's gonna be in my lifetime. I've listened to many sermons that say look out for the signs and that the day is coming. There's been a lot of wars, earthquakes, famine, all that stuff. You'd think Jesus would've come back by now with the amount of catastrophes that happened these past 20 years alone. But even after going to war with Iraq and Afghanistan, a massive earthquake decimating Haiti, famine ravaging Eastern Africa, and even someone as diabolical and cruel as Osama Bin Laden breathing the same air as the people he's killed for 54 years, Jesus hasn't come back yet. This leads me to think that should he return to this world, it'll be long after I'm already dead. That's okay, though, because I'll still make it to Heaven.

I don't know what to do. If I fully commit myself to God and live like my fellow Christian breathern, I make myself ignorant or apathetic to real world issues that aren't as black and white as I once thought. But if I'm not 100% committed to my faith, I'm seen as less of a Christian by my peers. I wish God could respond to this post and tell me honestly what He thinks about all this. Anyway, thanks for listening to me ramble. Have a blessed day

[1hannahhannah1]

Part four

Content warning : racism, homophobia, transphobia

So. I said : “Alala, honestly, I hope that one day you’ll understand”

Person number one said : “Can someone ask [A guy’s nickname] to kick them out if they continue”

Why? Because I annoy you? Good. Because your words could be fucking hurtful if you said them to people, to their faces. I’m trying to make you understand that, but you don’t want to fucking listen.

Person number one responded to me saying that I wish one day they’d understand, saying : “Otherwise you can try to understand the other side of the coin, you’re not automatically the “kind one” 💀”

I will never fucking understand your ‘side of the coin’. Because you believe that what you’re saying is perfectly fine, when it’s not.

Then, person number two responded to that same text I did, saying : “Seriously, when what you’re saying is almost discriminatory too?”

Where. Where dude? Show me fucking evidence that I’m being discriminatory. Do it. Oh wait, you fucking can’t. Why? Because the definition of discrimination is : “the unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people, especially on the grounds of ethnicity, age, sex, or disability”

The only thing I brought up that could “fit” these categories was that you were privileged because you’re a man and white. And that’s not discriminatory, it’s fucking facts

At this point, I was fucking tired of arguing with those people who put their fingers in their ears and shouted “LALALALALALA”. So I tried to calm down, and said : “I honestly wish you to become the best person that you can. Be the best version of yourselves, even if that means that you don’t understand what I’m trying to say”

So. This guy responded to the text my friend had said, in wich she said that they felt menaced and that we were right. She had responded to the same guy that asked [A guy’s nickname] to kick us out. So, he responded : “No it’s just because you don’t want to stop so if we eliminate the source of the problem, it’ll stop the debate”

Eliminate. Source of the problem. Wow. You want to kick us out so you can be homophobic, transphobic and racist without being called out.

So, a bit of positivity in this shit show. This guy responded to my text saying that I wished them to become the best person that they can, saying : “This is very kind of you, thanks. I wish you the same”

So, even if I think that they’re fucking wrong and they think I’m a woman full of hormones that doesn’t know how to fucking argue my points, some of them can still be decent people. Sometimes.

So my friend responded to the guy who had said that they should ‘eliminate the source of the problem’. She responded : “Why are we the source of the problem? You are the ones who started the debate and it’s us that need to leave?”

Then, this person said : “Jesus love you”

Ok? What does this have to do with anything, weirdo?

At this point I was so fucking fed up, I texted my friend privately. Here’s our conversation :

Me : “[My friend’s nickname] let’s just leave this debate on a good note, because seriously, they’re annoying the shit out of me

Her : “Yeah, we stop the debate?”

Me : “Yup”

I said : “Well then, goodbye 👋”

And then, person number one replied to the text of my friend in which she asked why we were the problem, saying : “Because you are the ones who don’t want to leave us alone and it’s simpler to just kick out two persons than the rest of the group. Plus [A guy’s nickname] is on our side so he won’t kick us out because we have the same opinion.”

Why are you still talking about this? We’ve let it go. Do it too.

Then, my friend responded to my text in wich I said goodbye, saying : “Goodbye [my name]”

And then I fucking left. Because I just couldn’t do this anymore.

This series of post will have a last part.

[neontrender]

I am stepping down from my position as moderator on the MOGAI Wiki and its associated socials. I will also likely be abandoning this account, and leaving it up as an archive. I have not made this decision lightly. In this post I’d like to address two things: 

The situation with the MOGAI Wiki involving term removal policies, clarifying some points, and apologizing for the parts I played in the situation going so terribly wrong. 

My personal feelings, and my reasonings for stepping away from all of this.

(Please note that bolded text is simply to make skimming easier and help with accessibility, not necessarily for emphasis.)

The idea to do away with term removals was a mistake, and so was how we went about broaching the subject with our community. As I have stepped down as moderator, I cannot speak for the rest of the mod team, and am speaking from only my own perspective. I really had no idea how even the idea of this policy would affect people. When we were discussing it as a mod team, I was only thinking about it from a Wiki perspective. Many Wikis do not require term removal, and we needed to find a way to reduce the strain on our mod team. We may have had 7 moderators before all of this, but many of us were very limited in our abilities to contribute, and the strain on the Wiki was becoming more obvious by the day. 

Things weren’t working the way we had been doing them. We had requests for terms to be removed that never got followed up on, posts from accounts asking that their terms not be uploaded to our wiki that we were never made aware of, and not enough manpower to go looking for them or manage to keep up with removals with the way we were managing that system. We were overwhelmed with that, and everything else that came with the sudden spike in attention and criticism we had after FANDOM brought the Wiki’s existence into the spotlight. We knew something needed to change. Nobody could come up with a good solution that we could see working long-term, and we just kept coming back to getting rid of term removals entirely.

In all of our discussion of the potential policy change in the mod chat, I did not consider the perspective that coinings and flags are a person’s art, and that completely getting rid of the option for term removal would be removing people’s control over their own art. Especially when it comes to LGBT+/MOGAI identity, lots of the art created around that is often deeply personal. The idea of losing control over those things must have felt so awful and scary, and I’m very sorry for the part I played in that.

In the interest of full disclosure: I was the one who suggested that we encourage/require people to give alternative ideas if they voted to keep the policy of allowing for term removal. My intent was not to limit discussion, but I know intent only means so much in situations like this. My decision to suggest that was based on a fear that we would have a majority vote to keep the policy, but not receive any workable suggestions on alternatives. That would have put us back at square one, the community would have voted to keep a policy that we did not have the ability to enforce, and we would be continuing to fail our users and other members of the MOGAI community. I completely understand now how that part of the poll came across as limiting discussion/input on the policy, especially now that I have a deeper understanding of just how many users were likely too afraid to bring their concerns up with mods in the first place. I’m sorry for that, too.

When I started to see the tumblr posts about the situation, I realized what a mistake it was to suggest the policy change, and especially the way we went about doing it. Some of the mods tried to pivot conversation in the server to workshopping a workable alternative. I tried to assure people that no decisions were being made right away, and suggested that people step away from the situation, because things were getting heated.

I honestly don’t know everything that went down. I was present for only very little of the actual conversation after the announcement was made. When I woke up, the announcement/poll had already been made and the reaction from the community both in the server and on tumblr had already started. 

Many people were under the (incorrect, but in hindsight completely understandable) impression that we had concretely decided on getting rid of the option for term removal. My post on the Wiki tumblr account was from the perspective of somebody who had very little context for what conversation was going on, and was trying to clarify what I knew about the mod discussions that happened before the announcement and poll were posted. I was trying to, once again, reassure people that we had not made a decision, and were open to all the suggested alternative solutions. 

Almost immediately that post was met with hostility and vitriol. I recognize now that so much of that was pent up frustration with the way this Wiki has been run over a very long period of time. In the moment, though, I didn’t have that context, I wasn’t aware of the problems people have had with the Wiki or its moderators in the past. Because I had made the post, it felt extremely personal. Because I had done so much behind-the-scenes work, seeing people saying the mod team wasn’t doing enough hurt. I realized that I was starting to have a trauma response to the situation, so I told the rest of the team I was stepping away for a few hours, and encouraged them to do the same.

I’m not going to get into the nitty-gritty of it all, in part because I only know bits and pieces of what happened after I stepped away. But I’ve seen the DMs, and I saw several of the reblogs and posts from Kris. Part of why I am stepping down as mod is that I do not want to be associated with that. It was inappropriate, and a complete mishandling of the situation. I cannot work with someone who reblogs aggressive responses to negative replies on our posts, someone who repeatedly says he is going to step away and then gets right back into the situation and escalates it, someone who DMs a mod who left in a panic in response to a difficult situation with passive-aggression and guilt tripping. I care so much about the people I worked alongside these last several weeks, including Kris, but I cannot condone that behavior. I hope everyone affected by that is able to get the space that they need and a chance to recover and heal.

Another reason for leaving is that I can’t subject myself to being a part of something with so much reach and so much baggage that it causes this kind of response when a mistake is made. Some of the replies to my post on the wiki tumblr were vicious. They were hard to read, and impacted me quite a bit, in part because of past trauma, but also because it’s hard to read a bunch of people telling you to go fuck yourself. I put a lot into that Wiki in my short time as a mod, and before as a contributor, and putting that much of yourself into something and then being told you’re not doing enough and that you deserve terrible things doesn’t feel good. I understand where so much of that anger was coming from. I understand how people react when they feel cornered. At the same time, some of the things that were said in response to that post were not okay, and I will not continue doing something that carries the possibility of subjecting myself to that again.

Honestly, though, my biggest reason for leaving is that this situation bled over into my personal life. I will not get into details of what happened, but I knew immediately that my relationships with my loved ones are far more important to me than the Wiki, or this blog. As much as the MOGAI Wiki has meant to me over these past few months, as much effort as I’ve put into contributing and moderating it, it wasn’t even a question. I’ve lost any interest I might’ve had in staying.

I don’t know what will happen to the Wiki. A hiatus is being considered, I think. I know the mod team has pretty much unanimously agreed to not get rid of term removal policies. I don’t know how much weight my even saying that carries at this point, but I hope it helps at least a little with the fears this whole situation has brought up for people.

I am sorry for the parts I played in this situation going so poorly. Please take care of yourselves. I’ll be making a second post shortly, detailing some more logistics-related things to my departure.

[buckleysims]

Here are the facts: We can all sit and turn this coin for the next few weeks and try to analyze it, but fact is, we have gone by what little info Colleen chose to share with us, which is obviously her own interpretation, and add to that, none of us are professionals. Colleen has even said herself that she has next to no experience, and this is all she got from this man, which I really can't disregard, since she wasn't harmed. Kissing a frog can still be a good kiss, specially if you gain positive life experience. And you did, Colleen! Might not have landed you Prince charming THIS time, but you learned to step out of your comfort zone, dared to walk an unexplored path, stood up for yourself, took a chance and dared to stand by your no. This is huge! This is positive! This is progress! And barking profanity, using the word narcissist and saying stuff like you were 'shaking your head and wanting to scream run', is not only counterproductive, but also overshadows all the positive that DID actually come out of this experience! By doing so, you might even stifle Colleens progress and her hope/courage to try again in the future. So how about we pack all the judgment away, and instead, once more, give Colleen a hand for how absolute BOSS she tackled the situation, cause it was truly brave, strong and admirable 💚

Hello, anon. :) I apologize for the delayed reply, but I needed some time to think about your message before responding.

First and most importantly, I want to thank you from the bottom of my shriveled, cynical heart for your encouragement and support. I dearly appreciate it, and I can't even begin to tell you how honored and touched I am to have received such a kind note. The fact that anyone even bothers to read about my ridiculous, insignificant little problems amazes me, but the fact that I have supporters out there who care enough to reach out and offer advice? It is an act of friendship and compassion that I will never forget.

But back to the matter at hand. You are correct in all your facts, and your conclusion was incredibly heartening to read. It's true that I was not physically harmed by this man, and his attention has helped me come out of my shell and gain some life experience. I enjoyed myself (especially the kissing, lol), and most significantly I realized that my inevitable and eternal spinsterhood does not necessarily have to be inevitable or eternal after all. I tend to be a glass-half-empty sort of person, and you've given me a much needed dose of optimism.

However, I cannot fault anyone for their judgement of me or their characterization of the situation that I got myself into. I was a fool to like this guy, and I should have seen who he was from the start. I have always been a bit naïve, a bit gullible, a bit ditzy, a bit too trusting, and I need blunt language and straight talk to prevent me from making the worst mistakes. See "Personal Post Ahead" for a prime example of what happens otherwise. I understand and appreciate your concerns, truly I do, and I feel like you've made some excellent points here. It's just that, honestly, I probably need to judged. Heck, I probably deserve a lot more of it than I have received so far.

Anyway, thank you again for your ask, and I hope you don't misunderstand what I'm trying to say or how I'm trying to say it. Have a nice week, nonny, and happy simming!

[thetriggeredhappy]

recently rediscovered your blog and read the fic from your dad spy au where scout starts out as the "guard" and then becomes scout from there and lemme tell you that shit put me on some s-tier brainrot. like a cranial decay type beat.

i had a concept in my head that instead of being hired as a guard, he could have been hired as a right hand man to the administrator like pauling, because i think hed be awesome in that position. like imagine having a personal merc who can get in fast and out even faster. but maybe he would stay in the base like the rest of them, sort of like a secret on call intel gatherer, who also maybe sometimes has to dig a couple graves. and also like, nobody on the team expects anything from him at first because its this 20 year old newbie kid. hes dressed in his formal clothes and he talks like somebody from relatively around boston but not quite. i can just imagine one day he comes back during a team dinner with his shirt half untucked and stained with blood, hair disheveled as he asks soldier if he can borrow his shovel, or him debriefing them for a mission when miss pauling is busy. same vibe as the fic i mentioned before but scout gets to have a job as cool as miss paulings. honestly id write it myself if i didnt have the attention span of a fly

anyways your scout content gives me life thank you

scout teamfortress but 20% more competent standing next to miss pauling teamfortress while she's doing her job and doing like silly quips and otherwise contributing nothing like it's a buddy cop film is literally my fucking ideal

(warnings for some canon-typical violence)

-

“Oh, Pauling, it’s good to see you again,” greeted the chairman, smiling in an imitation of a grandfather and clasping her hands perhaps too-kindly considering she barely knew him. “Young as ever, and still so stylish, I see. And who’s the new fellow?”

“He’s just here to help with transport, Mr. Montgomery, nothing unusual,” Miss Pauling replied, returning his smile and adjusting her glasses. “Heavy cases, you know how it is.”

“Of course, I remember you almost toppling clean over last time we made a trade!” Montgomery agreed, frowning at the memory. “You’ll pull a muscle that way, better to be careful. It’s a pleasure to meet you, young man. And your name?”

“Mr. Normandy, sir,” the new kid replied easily enough despite his slight East Coast accent, giving the man a firm handshake, expression neutral and stony, the picture of professionalism. Internally, Pauling breathed a sigh of relief.

“Firm grip there, young man,” Montgomery praised, nodding approvingly. “Tennis player, perhaps? Or golf?”

“Baseball, sir,” he replied, still evenly. “First baseman.”

“Ah! Of course! Were you any good?” Montgomery joked.

“At everything but playing in front of the crowds, otherwise I’d be in the major leagues,” he replied, tilting his head just slightly to imply that he was joking, his sunglasses glinting at the movement, and Montgomery barked a laugh.

“I like this one, Miss Pauling!” Montgomery said, and Pauling just barely caught herself from physically relaxing at it.

“We do too, Mr. Montgomery,” she agreed. “I was under the impression that you’re very busy today, so we won’t keep you for too long, we just wanted to sort out the final details surrounding the manufacturing rights for the—“

“—Pacific Northwest branch, up into British Columbia and Alberta, of course,” Montgomery agreed, nodding faintly. “Of course, of course.” He turned to regard his own man in a dark suit, the one standing to the right, who appeared to be unsuccessfully trying to stare down Normandy, who was completely ignoring him. “My briefcase, please.”

The man handed over the briefcase, and Montgomery put it on his desk, opening it and pulling out a sheaf of papers. “All our requests are submitted and approved, at this point we just had a few dustbins to take care of regarding initial percentages and making sure everything is wired to the correct accounts, which names are undisclosed, things like that,” Pauling explained as he glanced through the papers.

“Right, right, everything looks good here,” the man murmured, nodding to himself, sending his long-white hair just ever-so-slightly out of place. “I’m assuming these more sensitive documents should be sent some way besides through the mail?”

“If you finish them today I can take them with me, otherwise either me or Mr. Normandy can return to pick them up at your convenience,” she replied, to which Normandy gave a singular nod.

“Oh, it would only take me a short while,” Montgomery said, waving a hand. “We have a lovely lounge just down the hall from here if you’d prefer to wait there, it should only take me ten, fifteen minutes at most. In the meantime, I do believe there’s also the manner of payment for services rendered.”

Miss Pauling tilted her head just slightly to one side, confused.

“I arranged with Helen already,” Montgomery explained, not looking up from where he was initialing a few things. “The payment, rather than being wired, she asked to be made in material investment. A venture of mine from years ago that she’s willing to sit on. Rather than gold or bonds, she agreed to take some old currency of mine that my family collected, from early 18th century New Zealand and Australia. Monetarily it’s worth around the same, and I’m quite a bit attached to it to be entirely frank, but it was at her request to buy the whole collection from me, and after years of the work we’ve been doing together, well, I’d never trust it with anyone else.”

He gestured to the other man, the one on his left, who stepped forward to hand him a manila envelope, which he passed to Pauling.

“Inside is both keys, the door alarm codes, and all other security information for the building where the collection is being stored. They’ll ask for a few codes and confirmation of identity, only because several other art collections and artifacts are being stored there by other affluent individuals such as myself.”

“Thank you, Mr. Montgomery,” Pauling said, taking the envelope gratefully.

“Think nothing of it, my dear. Helen talked me into it all her own,” he said easily enough. “Now, gentlemen, if you would let Miss Pauling and Mr. Normandy into our lounge? I should have these wrapped up before any of us can even think about lunch, eh?”

One of the suits showed the two of them through the doors and down the hallway, through two doors bracketed by similar suits who simply nodded politely at Pauling and ticked their chins at Normandy as they passed them.

Normandy posted up beside the door for all of three seconds before they shut and Pauling pulled her glasses up, rubbing at the bridge of her nose and making a vaguely distressed noise. He then promptly relaxed, instead leaning his hip against an armchair probably worth the same amount as a small car. “So, uh, we’re glad that he’s giving us a bunch of commemorative coins from when dinosaurs still walked the earth?” he asked just below normal speaking volume, eyebrows raised.

“Yes. Very glad. Because unlike about six people total on the planet, he hasn’t figured out yet how valuable those are.”

“What, is a picture of a kangaroo on some copper really gonna make up for a couple hundred thousand American dollars?” Normandy asked, sounding doubtful.

“Not copper. Something else,” she replied. “I can’t tell you much more about it other than that, but these coins are made of something priceless to us. And to the Administrator.”

“…Love? Memories? The magic of family?” he joked, cracking a smile, and she rolled her eyes, moving to open the envelope and start reading the papers inside. “Hey, uh, not to question whether my job should exist, but what the hell am I doing here, exactly? Besides carrying a briefcase. Like, chivalry isn’t dead but I really don’t think you need me carrying your bags and holding the door for you.”

“You’re helping with security, basically,” she replied, adjusting her glasses to squint at tiny handwriting about the collection. “Mr. Montgomery is trustworthy, but he mostly hires out to… well, people like us. His security detail is mostly people we’d rather have screened, freelancers, stuff like that. A lot of people we contract out to are like that. Most of them have heard about me and know better than to try and pull something, since I can hold my own pretty well, but if they haven’t, seeing a second person might persuade them to think it over again.”

“Oh, so I’m like, uh, when it says ‘tow zone’ next to the no parking signs even though nobody checks, or when they’ve got a camera in the corner of the store that isn’t even plugged into anything,” he said, and the looked up at him, confused. “Like, uh, what’s the word… I’m a casual deterrent.”

“Sure,” she said, because it sounded like he knew what he was talking about, shuffling the papers back away and closing the envelope again, making a note to ask the Administrator if she should change their current containment procedures to be closer to Mr. Montgomery’s. “Just… if there’s a fight, you deal with it, otherwise you just stand there and look like you’re paying attention.”

“That’s what the sunglasses are for,” he agreed. “I was blinking morse code at the guy across from me literally the whole time.”

“You know morse code?” Pauling asked, surprised.

“Just the alphabet, ‘S.O.S.’, and ‘ass’.”

She rolled her eyes again, and that’s when the door opened.

She expected Mr. Montgomery, not one of the men in suits. “Excuse me, both of you, if you don’t mind,”the man said, accent having the slightest English tilt to it, a Londoner if Pauling had to guess. “You’re Miss Pauling, the Mann Co. affiliate, yes?”

“That’s me,” she agreed, hesitant, and glanced at Normandy.

“I’m afraid there’s been a mistake. Mr. Montgomery have you the wrong envelope on accident,” the man said apologetically, extending a hand forward. “We apologize for this unfortunate mix-up, it’s really quite embarrassing, but those documents are sensitive and we’ll be needing to see them back now.”

Pauling looked at him, and within a moment, shifted her expression. “Oh, I’m so sorry!” she agreed, nodding. “No, right, of course. These aren’t the papers for the currency collection?”

“I’m afraid not,” the Brit agreed, head tilting just slightly, hand still extended, moving a fraction further forward.

“Well, thank goodness we figured out now and not with us halfway back,” she joked, and moved to hold the folder closer to her body. “I’ll take this right back to Mr. Montgomery, then.”

“He’s sent me to correct the error,” the man explained simply.

“Right,” she said, and saw in her periphery that Normandy had already started sneaking a hand in towards his primary, clearly having pieced together something she was only suspecting. “We can bring this to his office, then, right down the hall.”

“You misunderstand,” the man said, taking a step forward again. “I’ll be taking it to his office myself.”

“That’s funny,” Pauling said. “I didn’t realize you had clearance to be in there. Or to be carrying a semi-automatic instead of a standard handgun.”

The Brit reached for the semi-automatic, and before he could even get it out properly, Normandy hit one clean shot to the side of his head and another to his thigh, sending him crumpling to the ground.

Pauling had only as far as pulling her own handgun free, thumb on the safety, and breathed a sigh of relief, glancing over at Normandy, shifting to more comfortably hold her gun. “Quick reflexes,” she noted.

“Just noticed a lot sooner, maybe,” he shrugged, stepping forward to glance over the body, tucking his gun back away.

“What was your hint?”

“He’s here to give us the right folder, yeah? Well, why were his hands empty, then?”

She was just starting to nod and realize that as well when a second man shouldered through the door, holding a gun at the ready. Normandy scrambled to draw his own, but Pauling fired a shot into his knee, shoulder, and neck to send him dropping before he was even close. “There’s quick on the draw, and then there’s prepared,” she said pointedly. “Gotta think of if there’s more than one, new guy.”

He nodded, and drew his gun again, bending to hit the guy on the ground at the temple hard enough to knock him out if he wasn’t unconscious already. He then glanced up at the sound of a shout from the other side of the door, two men shouldering through, guns drawn but lowered. It was only the firm eye contact they made with both her and Normandy that made her pause the millisecond it took to realize these ones weren’t trying to kill them.

“Pauling, what on earth is going on here?!” Montgomery demanded, entering the room and staring with wide eyes at the bodies on the ground. “What could’ve possessed you to—“

“He was trying to run off with these documents,” she explained quickly, gesturing with the envelope. “He knew whatever was in here was valuable.”

“He drew his gun, sir,” Normandy added, tipping his head down towards the body, and Pauling glanced down as well and found herself a little surprised. He’d rearranged the man just slightly, apparently, adjusting the arm to be holding the gun a bit further outward. “Other one was aiming to kill.”

“My, my,” Montgomery tsk’d, shaking his head as he surveyed the scene. “What a mess. My apologies, Miss Pauling, Mr. Normandy.”

“It’s alright, but you need to start doing more thorough checks on your staff, Mr. Montgomery,” Pauling stressed.

“He’s only been here two weeks, sir, he was one of the men we hired in a hurry after the incident last month,” one of the bodyguards said, and Montgomery shook his head.

“Thank goodness nobody was hurt,” he sighed. “Mutiny, and besides that, they’re bleeding on my carpet. Here are those papers, Miss Pauling—what a day, eh?”

“It’s really alright, we handled it,” Pauling assured him, giving her bravest smile, a little exasperated now.

“Right, right, you and the first baseman,” he agreed, and Normandy fought back an actual smile.

“If you’d like, we can take care of those for you,” Pauling said, gesturing at the bodies. “To pay you back for the carpet and the scare.”

“Sounds fair to me,” Montgomery agreed, clearly relieved.

-

“My dad’s gonna be pissed, by the way,” Normandy was so helpful as to say on the way back up the path to the base. “And you’re fielding that.”

“About the suit, or the fight?” she asked, glancing at his clothes where he was somewhat covered in a fine dusting of mud and grime from the gravedigging, shovel still in his free hand.

“Both. Mostly the fight. Your fault for saying it’d be an easy one to start with,” he said.

“If it was going to be that much of a problem, you wouldn’t have gotten this job. I’d just have made you go do dishes all day or something,” Pauling replied.

“Point taken,” he said, walking ahead to get the door, holding it open for her. “Wait, we’re allowed to mention what we do, right? Just not names?”

“Or locations, even with travel distance. Round up to the hour if it comes up,” she replied.

“Sure, sure,” he agreed, trailing a step behind her as she led the way through the base.

In the common area, there was a bit of a ruckus happening. Soldier, Heavy, and Demo appeared to be having some kind of arm wrestling competition on a rapidly-toppling table, the Engineer was on a stepstool trying to fix the ceiling fan, and Sniper appeared to be half-watching the beginnings of an argument between Pyro and the Spy regarding use of the oven as Medic patched up a burn on his arm.

“Hullo,” Sniper greeted the two of them, sounding a little bored, Medic giving them a brief, polite nod. Normandy’s eyebrows were raised pretty far as he surveyed the room.

“Hi, Sniper,” she greeted in return, then cleared her throat, raised her voice. “Team meeting in five minutes! New mission for next week!”

Groans from the room at large, the eight mercenaries starting to finish up what they were doing and filing out. Spy moved over, glancing over Normandy and starting to talk to him in rapid-fire French, picking smaller bits of gravel off of his suit as they walked.

“Alright,” she addressed the room, Normandy peeling off from getting mother hen’d by Spy to stand next to the blackboard with her. “Monday, you’re all going on a transport mission. Getting the truck from point A to point B with everything in the boxes intact. Already we’ve had to put up with some people trying to get ahold of these things, so bring your guns.”

“Oh, our guns, you said? Lads, this is a serious one, keep your heads on a feckin' swivel, she’s sayin’ we might even need guns, can you believe it?” Demo faux-gasped, and chuckled when Spy bopped him on the arm, rolling his eyes at the Scot's theatrics.

“Yeah, yeah,” she waved off, flipping through the papers a bit. “So Engie, I’ll need the keys to the truck, me and Normandy are going to be loading those tomorrow, all of you need to be at this drop point bright and early.”

“How early?” Heavy rumbled.

“Six. Hour and a half of drive from here.”

Some complaints from the room that she sighed at.

“Hey, hey, calm the hell down,” Normandy cut in, and she glanced over at him where he had his arms crossed and a stern look on his face. “You chuckleheads get to have all eight of you to unload the damn thing, me and Miss P gotta do all the rest of this on our own and probably kill twenty guys on the way there and back. She had to be up at 6 AM, workin’ since 7 AM, lunch break at noon and nothin’ else, and we just got back now at, what, fuckin’, 10, 11 PM? Any of you work her shift and then see if you even got the energy to complain about wakin’ up early, how about that?”

The room went utterly devoid of complaint or backsass. “Thank you, Normandy,” she said politely, and he just nodded once, glancing off to the side. “Anyways, anything new on this end? Spy, how are you adjusting?”

“Very well,” he said simply. “I have nothing pressing to say. Once I’ve been updated from the stock weaponry provided here to my requested preferred weaponry, I believe I should do just fine.”

“I see you already have Herr Normandy digging graves,” Medic chimed in. “Straight into the hard labor, ja?”

“Eh, hey, y’know, it’s why they keep us young people around,” he shrugged, grinning, and there was a brief uproar to drown out Medic’s entirely offended scoffing and Spy’s snort-laughing.

“Get ‘im, lad!” Demo cheered, and Normandy indeed looked fairly proud of himself.

“Monday, transport mission,” Pauling noted over the noise, writing it up on the chalkboard to hide her own smile from the room. “Normandy, you and me are doing the boxes tomorrow. Everyone on the same page? Good. Dismissed. Oh, and Pyro—stop taking the fire alarms down when they beep. They’re beeping because you light things on fire in the base. Do that outside.”

“Oh, hey, uh, helmet guy, All-American Beef,” Normandy called, and Soldier straightened up. “Here’s your shovel back. Gettin’ my own tomorrow.”


Soldier walked directly over to him, clasping a hand on his shoulder. “That’s a high honor, Cadet,” he said, tone grave. “Do not take this responsibility lightly.”

“I, uh, I won’t?” he said hesitantly, and blinked a few times as the shovel was carefully taken from him before it was promptly marched from the room in double-time. Only then did Normandy look over at her. “So he’s always like that?”

“You’ll get used to it,” she assured, dusting chalk from her hands. “You should get to sleep soon, we have to be up early.”

“Sure thing, Miss P.”