#honestly everyone did a phenomenal job of answering the question of 'what the fuck is my response to this'

[pawthorn]

Trying to wrap my brain around a post about Ashton and Taliesin.

About player risk and character risk.

The player's desire to make interesting choices and contribute to a compelling narrative.

And the character, wanting to fulfill destiny, to be special, to be whole.

The player, misreading the DMs intentions, seeing a daring challenge for his character in what was actually an impossibility the DM never expected him to try.

And the character, misjudging the warnings of powerful people because they know better, this should be theirs, and if they aren't strong enough to take it they might as well be dead anyway.

The player, secure in the knowledge that his friends might yell and be mad at them a bit, but ultimately there's no chance of losing anyone over this.

And the character, out of trust with every single member of the group, faced with the possibility of losing everyone.

I don't know. To have both character and player expectations so radically subverted is hard, and I felt like Taliesin had to do a lot of digging and reconciling for Ashton between these past two episodes to get in the right headspace.

In an episode where there was a spotlight on every Ashton relationship, each one felt distinct and authentic, which is a credit to both Taliesin and the cast as a whole.

[when-i-was-your-angel]

A Favor

James “Bucky” Barnes x Reader

5,584 words

Y/N, the Avengers resident seamstress, tailors a suit for Bucky. She cashes in her favor.

NSFW: Virginity Loss, Virginity Loss as a favor, Minor Alcohol Use, Lingerie, Fingering, Oral female receiving, oral male receiving, facefucking, deepthroating, praise kink, missionary, Bucky’s metal arm, curvy reader, minor insecure reader, body worship, hickeys, angst, fluff, smut, hurt comfort ending.

   Six months ago Bucky Barnes needed help. He couldn’t find a suit that fit right around his arm and having one tailored by a stranger was too uncomfortable. So, he approached Y/N. As the team’s resident seamstress, he had grown used to Y/N’s gentle hands and soft touches while she worked on various aspects of his tactical gear. This was different, though. This wasn’t work. This was a favor. Friends do favors. Bucky didn’t have friends. Especially not really pretty soft-spoken friends. But, Stark insisted he have a nice suit for some gala, so he asked.     

     Y/N had immediately accepted, saying it was no problem. It really wasn’t. Tailoring was her job after all. His suit ended up looking phenomenal and Bucky got quite a few compliments, making sure to tell everyone who designed his sleek black suit. Bucky offered to pay her but she refused. Bucky insisted on doing something to pay her back. They ended up agreeing that he owed her a favor.

       Over the time she was tailoring him, they grew close. Y/N and Bucky were unlikely friends, but they quickly became the best of them. Bucky would bring her lunch on Tuesdays and Thursdays, when he had nightmares he’d call her and they’d talk for hours, he brought her coffee in the mornings, and she brought him freshly made gloves every time he tore his open. They were just perfect for each other. Best friends and nothing more.

    Now, six months past the gala, Y/N has decided to cash in her favor. She’s pacing her small apartment. Her faded blue jeans hugged her hips as she walked and her blouse was unbuttoned slightly more than what would be considered professional. It was seven in the evening, Y/N had just arrived home from work. She had made plans with Bucky a week ago and he would be arriving any minute. She was in the middle of pouring herself a glass of wine when a knock came at the door. Y/N rushed over to it, smoothed her hair down, and opened the door.

    Bucky looked amazing. Dressed in dark jeans and that black fucking tee shirt. He had on his leather jacket and glove, but she knew he would take those off once inside.

    “Come in.” Y/N moved aside to allow him access and he smiled, taking his jacket off and putting it on her coat rack. His hair had grown out slightly, no longer trimmed close to the scalp. The realization made Y/N squeeze her thighs together in anticipation.

    “You want anything to drink?” Y/N asked, retreating to her kitchen to fetch her abandoned glass of white wine.

    “Water would be nice.” Bucky sat on her couch, waiting for her to return. Y/N made him a glass of water just how he liked it. Cool water from the fridge with no ice. He always said the cold hurt his teeth, but she knew he hated the way the cold glass felt on his metal hand.

    Y/N returned to the couch, sitting on the opposite end and tucking her legs underneath herself. She offered him his glass of water which he took with a muttered thank you.

    “So, what’s this about?” Bucky asked, taking a sip of his water. His left arm was draped around the back of the couch, his right arm in his lap holding his water. He had his left leg half-crossed over his right. He looked good. Casual. Like he belonged in the space.

    “I wanted to cash in my favor.” Y/N couldn’t look at him. Her eyes were glued to her hands in her lap. “For tailoring your suit.”

    “What, six months of the pleasure of my company wasn’t enough?” Bucky gave her a smile to try and lighten the mood but when he saw the look on her face he quickly grew serious.

    “What’s up, doll? Talk to me.” Bucky leaned forward and set a hand on her knee. Y/N looked down at his hand, then at his stark blue eyes, and took a large gulp of her wine.

    “Ok. So uh… the thing is... “ Y/N mumbled and trailed off, nervous beyond all belief.

    “Do you need money? Is Stark not paying you enough?” After she shook her head, Bucky spoke again. “What is it then?”

    “I- I need you to have sex with me.” Y/N said, looking up to meet his eyes. Bucky’s face was completely neutral. Not neutral- frozen, Y/N realized.

    “I know it’s totally unfair to ask this of you but please, just listen.” Bucky gave her a barely perceptible nod.

    “When I was in high school, I did everything right. I didn’t date, I didn’t party, I studied. That’s it. Then college came around and I couldn’t let loose like I wanted to. Studying and working was just too ingrained in me. So, I’ve never…” She trailed off, hoping Bucky would understand.

     “Never what?” With anyone else, Y/N would’ve thought they were messing with her. But Bucky had said it himself, he couldn’t lie to her. His face was genuine.

     “Never had sex, Buck.” Y/N looked down at her hands, picking at her fingernails.

     “You mean you’re a-”

     “Yeah.”

     “And you want me to-”

     “There’s no one I trust more than you.” Y/N met his eyes and saw the internal battle in them. He wanted to be there for her, but he didn’t trust himself. He eventually broke the thick silence to ask her a question.

     “But, you’re twenty-two. How have you never had sex?” Bucky brought a hand to rest on his jaw, looking like he was solving a puzzle.

     “I’ve gotten close. My ex-boyfriend he uh- he tried a few times. But it never felt right. It felt gross and I was so nervous I wanted to puke. After I wouldn’t put out, he dumped me.” Y/N tucked her knees under his chin, curling into herself.

     “Matt?” She nodded. “I knew he was a scumbag.” Bucky sat forward and took his head in his hands, running his hands through his hair.

     “Why does it have to be me, again?” Bucky asked, still staring at the floor.

     “Because I trust you more than anyone else. Because I know you won’t let things get weird between us.” Bucky looked up at her and smirked.

     “I hoped my charming nature might’ve played into it a bit.” He gave Y/N his signature shit-talking grin. She rolled her eyes and kicked him lightly. After a few seconds the air turned heavy between them.

     “You don’t have to. I won’t be mad or anything. I just-” She sighed. “I don’t want it to be some one night stand with a guy I’ve never met. I know it’s stupid but I-”

     “It’s not stupid. I understand.” Bucky turned to face her and took her hand in his.

     “You trust me?” He asked, his blue eyes piercing her hazel ones.

     “Yes.” She answered honestly.

     “Ok.”

     “Ok? Does that mean yes?” Bucky laughed softly at that.

     “Yeah, yeah. You’ve convinced me. Let me go freshen up, hm?” Y/N gave him a smile and a nod. “Be right back, doll.” Bucky stood up with a disbelieving shake of his head and walked to Y/N’s bathroom.

     Y/N took a deep breath and threw her hand to her face. She could feel the heat on her cheeks, searing her hand. She reached for her wine, forgotten on the coffee table, and downed the rest of the glass. God knows she needed liquid courage.

    Bucky returned and Y/N only stared at him as he approached. Her eyes wide in anticipation. Bucky stopped inches in front of her and offered his hand.

    “I ain’t taking you on the couch, doll.” Bucky said in his smooth voice. The words combined with the tone had her clenching her thighs, something that didn’t go unnoticed. He gave a small smirk as she took his hand and let him lead her to her bedroom. Once inside the room, he motioned for her to sit on the bed and she did so. He kneeled in front of her and took her hands in his.

    “You sure about this, sweetheart?” Bucky was incredibly kind in his words, making sure she was positive.

    “You’re only making me more sure, Buck.” Y/N smiled at him and couldn’t help her eyes glancing down at his lips. They were so close to hers. She looked back to his eyes and saw that they were on her lips.

    “Can I kiss you?” His voice was quiet and low as his breath fanned across her lips. She nodded and brought a hand to his jaw as he leaned in. The first kiss they shared was short. Barely three seconds. But when Bucky pulled away and saw her eyes half-closed and pupils blown wide, he went back for more. Their lips crashed together and all Y/N could think about was how soft he was. The pink lips on hers felt like pillows, the hands on her knees felt like clouds. His hands travelled her denim-clad thighs and reached her round hips. Bucky gave an experimental squeeze, eliciting a moan from Y/N. Bucky smiled into the kiss.

    Y/N ran her hands into his hair, tugging lightly on the strands. Bucky groaned and pulled away slightly, only to move his lips to her neck. He left small love bites, soothing the bruised flesh with his tongue. Y/N whimpered and gasped as he worked.

    “Sensitive there, doll?” Bucky whispered against her skin. She could only nod, lost in him. He chuckled and pulled away, tugging at her shirt in silent question. She leaned back and pulled her shirt over her head, revealing baby blue lingerie. A laced corset accentuated her full breasts. There were lacy straps descending into her jeans, leaving just enough to the imagination. Bucky’s eyes travelled her form greedily. His hands came to rest on her waist, thumbs caressing the thin fabric.

    “Christ, Y/N. You’re gonna kill me.” Bucky pushed his lips into hers again letting his hands roam her figure freely now.

    “You next.” Y/N said between kisses as she pulled on his shirt. Bucky separated from her to pull his black tee shirt off.

    “Don’t expect anything lacy, doll.” Bucky gave her a minute to catch a breath. Her eyes roamed his form. She brought her hands to his chest and let her fingernails scratch over his abs gently. Bucky gave a low groan in his throat and covered her hands with his.

    “Baby… Don’t start something you’re not going to finish.” Bucky met her eyes to gauge her reaction.

    “Who says I’m not going to finish? I fully plan on finishing.” Y/N gave him a smirk and scratched her hands on his chest again.

    “Fuck, you asked for it.” Bucky groaned and pounced on her. Her back hit the bed and he leaned over her, caging her between his arms. She arched her hips into his and felt his erection even through both of their jeans.

    “Too many layers. Need to- need to feel you.” Y/N spoke between kisses. Bucky nodded and started kissing her neck again, trailing his tongue down the exposed skin. He left open mouthed kisses on her stomach through the lace of her lingerie. He popped the button on her jeans and pulled the zipper down, slowly dragging the denim down her thighs. Once they were off her long legs, he saw the continuance of her lingerie.

   Baby blue garters were strapped to her thighs, connected to crotchless panties. Glistening folds peaked out from behind the lacy material. He let out a sigh at the sight. Bucky tripped trying to rid himself of his own jeans, making Y/N giggle. His eyes snapped back to hers, amusement dancing in the blue.

   “What’s so funny, babydoll?” He crawled over her again, his black boxers the only thing left restraining his aching cock. She looked up at him with a ditzy smile on her face.

   “You’re a super soldier and you’re a-” Her words were cut off by a moan as Bucky’s right hand swiped through her folds, gathering her wetness on his fingers.

   “What was that, doll? You were saying?” He smirked at her as his fingers toyed with her clit. She only whined and moved her hips, rutting against his hand. Bucky looked down at her heat then back to her face, lost in pleasure.

   “Shit, baby. You fucking my hand?” Y/N nodded as a red blush came to her cheeks. Bucky leaned in to kiss her neck some more, letting her get herself off on his hand. She whimpered something he couldn’t quite hear.

   “Hm?” He pulled away from her neck, a goofy smile on his face, feeling drunk on her skin.

   “Said more, Buck. Please.” Her eyes opened to meet his, pleading want showing in the hazel hue. Bucky smiled and nodded, kissing down her body once again. Seeing where he was going, Y/N spoke.

   “You don’t have to- oh. Oh.” Her hands flew to the sheets as Bucky’s tongue slipped through her folds. Bucky sat up and pulled her hands to his hair, encouraging her to pull on it. He returned to her cunt and lapped at her clit. Y/N shivered underneath his touch. All the things he was doing were new experiences for her and Bucky was making sure they were all amazing. His tongue moved down to her hole, prodding at the entrance gently. He hooked her thighs over his shoulders and brought a thumb to her clit, rubbing small circles.

   “Bucky…” Various expletives and combinations of his name fell from Y/N’s lips as Bucky worked. “Bucky, your fingers. Please.” Y/N’s light gasp filled the air. Bucky nodded against her and brought his flesh hand up to tease her slit. Y/N caught the hand in her own and shook her head.

   “I want…” She trailed off, the embarrassment too much.

   “Want what, doll?” Bucky left small kisses on her thighs in reassurance.

   “I want the metal one.” Bucky’s eyes went wide at her words.

   “You- you want this? This turns you on?” He held up his hand, black and gold shimmering in the dull light of her bedroom. He had a look of pure confusion on his face. His hand was not something to be used here, with her. It was hard and cold and unforgiving, all things she was not. “Are you sure-”

   Bucky’s words were cut off as Y/N took his metal hand and lifted his index finger to her mouth, wrapping her swollen lips around it. She took the finger into the base, letting the tip hit the back of her throat. She coated it with her saliva and as she pulled it away there was a trail of wetness leading to her mouth.

   “Fuck… Christ, Y/N. You’re gonna give me a heart attack.” He pulled his metal finger from her grip and brought it to her heat, teasing the entrance with the first knuckle. She shivered and arched her back into his touch, trying to get more of him inside her. He slowly pushed the black and gold finger in, curling it experimentally. Y/N let out a pornographic moan when his finger brushed one particular spot. Bucky smirked.

    “Found you.”

    He brought his lips back to her clit, alternating between short licks and sucking the bud into his mouth. His finger maintained a steady pulse, hitting her G-spot with every movement. He could feel her clenching around his finger, her pussy pulling him in further.

   “You gonna cum, baby?” Bucky asked quickly, not wanting to take his mouth from her sweetness for any elongated time.

   “Yes, Bucky, Please, I’m so close.” She gripped his hair, pulling on it as she had imagined doing earlier.

   “Cum for me, doll. Cum all over my fucking metal hand.” The gentle vibrations of Bucky’s voice and the reminder of what exactly was making her feel so good sent her careening over the edge, holding onto his hair to keep her grounded in her body.

   “Bucky! Fuck, yes. Don’t stop, don’t fucking stop.” Her hips moved against his face, prolonging her orgasm. Bucky moaned into her center, enjoying the view of a beautiful girl in blue lingerie riding his face. When her hips stilled and her breath slowed, Bucky pulled away, his face covered in her slick. A blush came over her face at the sight.

   “You embarrassed?” Bucky asked her, coming to crawl over her again. She nodded briefly.

  “Don’t be. C’mere, baby. Taste yourself. Fucking delicious.” He pulled her to him by the neckline of her corset, crashing their lips together. She licked at his lips and he moaned at the feeling. Y/N pulled away and looked up at him with her swollen lips and darkened eyes. Bucky knew she was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. He pulled the straps of the garters away from her body and let them snap back against her soft skin.

   “This needs to go.” Y/N hummed in agreement and looked at him mischievously. She hooked her leg under his and flipped them so he was on his back. His eyes widened in wonder and confusion, silently asking for an explanation.

   “Nat.”

   “Of course.”

   Y/N climbed off him and began pulling the various straps off her body. Slowly and teasingly, she became more exposed to him. Bucky palmed himself through his boxers as he watched, letting out small gasps every time a new segment of skin was unveiled. When she had taken the garters off, the only thing left was the corset. She reached behind her to unclip the buttons and let the garment fall to the ground. Bucky’s mouth dropped open as her breasts were finally revealed. She brought her arms to cover her chest, embarrassed. His gaze darkened and he reached his hands out, beckoning her to him. She climbed into his lap and his hands came to rest on the small of her back. He took her hands and guided them away from her chest.

   “Baby, shit, why’re you hiding these?” Bucky’s hands ghosted around the sides of her heavy breasts.

   “I don’t like them.” Y/N admitted honestly. Bucky’s eyes went wide and his mouth dropped in disbelief.

   “Y/N, believe me when I say, these are the best damn tits I’ve ever seen. Fucking beautiful.” Bucky leaned forward and captured a nipple in his mouth, circling his tongue around the nub. Y/N gasped as his metal hand came up to the other nipple, the contrast between his hot, soft, wet, mouth and his cold, hard, hand making her head spin.

  He pulled away from her to admire his handiwork. Red bruises on and surrounding her nipples.

  “Why don’t you like them?” He looked up to meet her eyes, a softness in them she didn’t get to see often.

  “The stretch marks…” Y/N looked down at her hands. Bucky pulled her chin up with his finger, forcing her to meet his eyes.

  “Baby. Do you realize who you’re talking to? Look.” He guided her hand to his left shoulder, shivering as her fingers ran over the scarred flesh.

  “I could give a shit less what scars you have. It just proves you’re strong. That you fought a battle and came out the other side. You’re beautiful.” Bucky raised himself up to press a kiss to her lips. Y/N smiled and shook her head, a blush covering her face. Bucky didn’t know how to convince her.

  “Let me prove it to you.” Y/N looked down at him. Bucky looked at her with earnest eyes. “Let me show you how beautiful you are.” Y/N was shocked at his gentleness. She had expected him to just have sex with her. She hadn’t predicted this level of intimacy. It was surprisingly… nice.

   “Ok.” Y/N said simply.

   “Ok? Gonna need something a little more enthusiastic than that, sweetheart.” Bucky’s words were teasing but she knew he was yet again making sure she was okay with this.

   Y/N threw her head back dramatically and exclaimed: “Take me! Take me and have your savage way with me!” Bucky roared with laughter and flipped her onto her back, kissing her lips gently.

   “That’ll do, doll.” Bucky kissed her neck gently and stood up.

   “Wait- what’re you doing?” Y/N asked. Bucky turned back to look at her, a bashful expression on his face.

   “I uh- I need a condom, doll. Unless you want a little me running around here.” Y/N let out a light laugh at the image. But something about the idea of a kid with Bucky’s eyes and her smile made her heart ache.

   “I mean, I’m on birth control. And I’m clean…” Bucky looks down at his hands. There was something more intimate about what she was asking him to do.

   “Yeah, me too. The serum it uh, keeps us from getting any diseases. STDs included. Lucky me, right?” Bucky gave a dry laugh and started walking back towards the bed. They were both suddenly a bit nervous. Y/N stood and took his hand, turning him so he was sitting on the edge of the bed. When she got on her knees in front of him, Bucky held out a hand to stop her.

   “You don’t need to-” Y/N gripped him through his boxers.

   “This is a learning experience right? Teach me how to do this too. For-” She took an uneasy pause. “For whoever comes next. Can’t be giving my first BJ to a stranger.” Bucky looked saddened by that. Whatever glimmer of emotion she thought she saw disappeared and he quickly reverted back to his normal self.

   “Yeah. Wouldn’t want that, hm?” Y/N looked up at him expectantly. Her eyes went from his boxers and back to his eyes.

   “Oh- right.” Bucky lifted his hips off the bed and slid his boxers off. His cock was at half-mast but was still shockingly large. Y/N’s eyes went wide. Gone were the nerves of a second ago. This was no longer present day Bucky, this was 40’s Bucky with all the swagger and charisma of a dashing young military sergeant.

    “Like what you see, doll?” Y/N rolled her eyes and looked up at him, awaiting instruction.

    “Ok, first, you’re gonna spit on your hand. Then start stroking.” Y/N obeyed. Bucky let out a loud hiss when her lubed hand touched his bare cock for the first time. She moved her hand up and down his shaft, twisting it slightly like she had seen in porn.

    “Fuck, sweetie. Just like that. Now, uh, lick the tip.” Bucky was already out of breath and Y/N decided she loved this. Loved seeing him come apart for her. Y/N leaned forward and placed an open mouthed kiss on the red tip. Bucky’s hips jutted into her mouth as he moaned.

    “Shit, sorry. Dunno what’s gotten into me.” Bucky looked down at her. Her eyes were half-closed, her lips were red and swollen, her neck was covered in marks that he had left… He knew exactly what had gotten into him. He just didn’t have the nerve to say it. It was times like these that Bucky Barnes really wished he could get drunk.

    Y/N kept stroking his cock as she pulled away to speak.

   “It’s okay. It was kind of hot.” She looked at him from under her thick eyelashes.

   “Yeah? You want me to do it again?” Bucky asked hesitantly.

   “Please.” Y/N replied.

   Bucky groaned and brought his hips a little closer to the edge of the bed.

   “You’re going to let me know if it gets too much at any time, alright?” Y/N nodded.

   “Open your mouth, doll.” Y/N did, opening as wide as she could to prepare for his girth. Bucky slid his cock into her mouth. “Breathe through- shit. Breathe through your nose, sweetheart. Relax your throat.” Y/N tried her best to obey his commands, sitting back on her heels to allow him to take full control. Bucky brought a hand to the back of her head, gathering her hair before starting to gently thrust into her mouth.

   “Fuck, baby. Feels so fucking good.” He looked down to see her staring up at him but the biggest shock was her hand between her thighs.

   “Are you- shit, are you touching yourself, doll?” She batted her eyelashes as if to say “What does it look like?” and he chuckled.

   “You look so good like this, baby. On your knees for me. Sucking- shit- sucking my cock like you were born to do it.” Bucky’s filthy words drew a moan from Y/N, sending vibrations through his cock. “Fuck! Oh- baby. Oh, god. This is gonna end a lot sooner than I’d like if we don’t stop.” Y/N made no move to pull away from him, continuing to let him fuck her throat.

   “Oh, is that what you want, hm? Want me to cum down that pretty throat of yours?” Y/N’s eyes fluttered closed as another moan escaped her. A shiver ran through Bucky’s body but he tapped her on the cheek. “Nuh-uh, babydoll. Wanna see those eyes. Those fucking eyes.” Y/N batted her eyelashes and moaned again. Bucky pulled out of her mouth suddenly. She pouted at him.

   “Doll- if I hadn’t stopped, I wouldn’t get to fuck you. That’s the whole point, right?” Bucky took her hand and pulled her to standing so he could kiss her. He pulled away so he could see her eyes flutter open, dizzy on him. “Those fucking eyes.” Bucky said with a smirk before picking her up and setting on the bed. She wrapped her legs around his waist and shivered when she felt his hot length on her thigh. Bucky looked at her one last time.

   “You sure, doll? I want this too, but I’ll go home with some major fucking blue balls if you’ve changed your mind.” Y/N threw her head back and laughed. Bucky only watched her, a soft smile coming across his face. How had he never noticed how beautiful her laugh was before?

   “I’m sure, Buck.” Y/N arched upwards to press a kiss to his lips.

   “Alright, then. What the lady wants…” Bucky reached between them and gripped his cock. He slid it through her folds a few times, gathering her wetness. Then he slowly pushed inside her with a loud groan from each of them. Bucky watched her face to gauge her reaction. A mix of pain and discomfort was painted on her features and it killed him. He hated hurting her but this is what she asked for. He continued pushing into her, inch by inch, trying to control his hips and keep from rutting into her. After a minute of tortuously slow moving, he bottomed out. A few tears had escaped Y/N’s eyes and he leaned down to kiss them off her cheek. Slowly, the look of pain disappeared from Y/N’s face.

   “Bucky-”

   “Yeah, doll?”

   “Please, move.”

   That was all it took to shatter his resolve. Bucky pulled out as much as she allowed him to, her pussy gripping him like a vice. He thrusted back into her warm depths, sighing at how well she took him.

   “So fucking tight, doll. Feels fucking heavenly.” Bucky’s fists tensed in the sheets beside her when she clenched around him.

   “Shit- oh. Someone has a praise kink.” Bucky muttered under his breath. Y/N nodded in desperation to hear him talk again.

   “You want me to keep talking? You like it when I talk to you, baby? Tell you how good you feel? How well you’re taking my cock?” Y/N shivered and her walls tightened around him.

   “Fuck, baby. You keep that up I’m not gonna last long.” Bucky propped himself up on his metal arm and reached his flesh one between their bodies, sticky with sweat. He rubbed gently at her clit as he thrusted, trying to time the rhythms together. Y/N cried out in pleasure, the sound music to Bucky’s ears.

   “Are you gonna cum, doll? Be a good girl and cum on my cock, yeah? Bet you look so fucking pretty when you cum for me.” Bucky kissed her neck sloppily, biting slightly on her pulse point. Bucky’s words and the new sensation sent her over the edge. Y/N’s hands gripped her pillow as Bucky sat back to look at her. She was beautiful as she came undone on his cock. She looked majestic. Holy. Like a goddess he’d get on his knees and pray to or a queen he’d serve until his dying breath.

   “Bucky, oh- baby. Just like- Oh-” Y/N shivered as her orgasm wrecked her, every thrust of Bucky’s hips prolonging the sensation. Bucky took in her post-orgasmic state.

   She was a mess. Her tits were sweaty and shiny as they bounced in the dull light of her bedroom. Her neck was covered in a smattering or bruises. She seemed to notice his gaze because she reached for him, pulling his face down to hers and kissing him roughly. She looked down to where their bodies met. Bucky’s eyes followed her own and he moaned in absolute delight at the scene. He closed his eyes quickly out of reflex. Protect himself. Protect Y/N. Don’t lose control. Y/N placed a gentle kiss on his nose and his eyes snapped open to meet hers.

   “Let go.” That simple sentence gave Bucky a gentle push over the edge and then he was falling. Not a hard fall with an ending that would leave him mentally unstable and minus an arm, but more of a pleasant roller coaster drop. He felt safe in her arms as he let go, shooting ropes of white cum inside her.

   “Y/N- fucking hell. Baby- So fucking good.” Bucky was very vocal as his hips slowed to a stop. His cock twitched from the oversensitivity. He knew he’d have to pull out eventually, but he wasn’t in any hurry. She was wet and warm and inviting and the world outside her bedroom was cold and cruel and unforgiving. Bucky knew he’d stay there forever if she let him.

   But that’s not what he was here for. Not for life, not even for the night. Just for an hour. Just until she’d had her cherry popped and she’d send him on his way like some kind of sick business deal. With great effort, Bucky convinced his body to pull from her soft depths, smearing cum and slick down her thighs. He stood and began gathering his clothes.

   “What- what’re you doing?” Bucky looked back at Y/N. She had her knees tucked into her chest and was staring up at him with those fucking eyes.

   “I’m leaving.” Y/N’s eyes drooped at his words.

   “Oh.”

   Bucky pulled on his boxers and elected to get changed out of her view- the harsh stare on his back was getting to be too much. He had his hand on the doorknob when she spoke.

   “Please- please don’t go.” This time when Bucky looked at Y/N, her eyes were rimmed with tears. He dropped his clothes and ran to her, cradling her face.

   “Why’re you crying, babydoll? What’s wrong?” His eyes sought hers, trying to understand what was happening behind them.

   “You were going to leave.” Y/N’s tears hadn’t fallen yet. She was always so strong. Bucky wished he knew how to make her feel safe enough to be weak.

   “I figured you’d want me to.” His thumb stroked her cheek.

   “No. I- I want you to stay. Please stay.” Y/N’s hands reached up and wrapped around his wrists, keeping them in place.

   “Then I’ll stay. I’ll stay, doll. Just please- don’t cry.” Bucky kissed her forehead and pulled her into his chest. If he felt a small wet spot growing where her head lay, he didn’t say anything.

   Eventually she pulled away from him. Y/N’s eyes met his and Bucky knew then- he was wrecked. Utterly, completely, wrecked.

   “Will you sleep with me?” She asked. He understood she meant sleep next to her in bed. Keep her warm with his touch and keep her mind calm with his presence. He nodded and she unravelled herself from his arms. She stood and tucked herself into her warm covers, beckoning for him to join her. Her body was naked still, but he didn’t care. Preferred it, actually. Not for any perverted reason. He had missed the feeling of warm flesh on his own. A body that wasn’t about to die underneath him. It was...nice.

  Bucky crawled into bed beside her, exposing his right side for her to cuddle into if she wished. She did. She laid her head on his shoulder and ran a hand up and down his stomach, tracing invisible patterns.

   “Thank you.” She said.

   “Anytime.”

   After a while, her breath evened out. He watched her back rise and fall. He knew he had to leave in the morning- but for now he’d allow himself to indulge in the simple pleasures of the smell of her shampoo and the way her heart beat in time with his.  

[efyra]

pairing: remus lupin x reader

summary: the first time that remus almost lost his control

author’s note: i swear that i didn’t pretend to make two parts for this story but it just happened; i couldn’t help myself. i’m sorry 🥺 and I also am sorry for any grammar mistakes - like i said before, english is not my native language

1994, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Honestly, you never thought that would be so sensitive about your last year at Hogwarts. You didn't think you would miss walking those halls, dining under the starry sky of the Great Hall, the Quidditch games that cheered up the students of all Houses, resting on that tree next to the Black Lake or the magnificent view from the Astronomy Tower. All these little things that never meant much to you before, made your seventh year more melancholic than you imagined it would be - you couldn’t even think about no longer seeing your friends every day without starting to cry.

In a few months, you would be a graduated girl; an adult woman who would be entirely responsible for your own future. Technically, you would be free. Free to pursue any career you want; you could become a healer, a teacher, a magizoologist, or even an auror, and you would have a happy and prosperous life. Or you could just screw yourself up.

The uncertainty made you apprehensive.

Ever since you were born, everyone told you what to do, be it your parents or your teachers; how did they expect you to make a decision as big as "the future of your life" being so young? You were only 18, for Merlin's sake!

Why did you stay only seven years at Hogwarts? If you could, you would continue studying there until you were 25 years-old.

But, unfortunately, that was not possible.

What made you feel a little better was to think that your colleagues were as apprehensive as you were about venturing into the adult world.

Since the school year has began, seventh graders threw a "farewell party" every month and overdosed on firewhisky. You have witnessed a diversity of drunken behavior during these parties; there would always be someone crying because they would miss Hogwarts, others despairing because they didn't know what the fuck they were going to do with their lives, some pompously saying that they already knew exactly where they would work after graduation, there would also be those who would make brave confessions, act recklessly or end up sleeping on a couch.

You weren't a very party person; not that you were those people who didn't even attend the party, but you never crossed your limit, let alone did something to embarrass yourself. Of course, you've taken doses of firewhisky before, but you never got drunk.

Until that night.

Earlier that day, you got a letter from your parents telling that they expected you to become an auror just like them; that gave you stomach pain all day long. You had already thought about following the same career as your parents - who were phenomenal in their job - but you weren't sure if that was what you want for your future.

You were a simple girl. You were never very extroverted, but you made good friends during your years at Hogwarts. You were a great student, not extraordinary nor mediocre. You never drew much attention, and frankly, you never wanted that - in fact, you hated being in the spotlight. For some weird reason, you become very clumsy at those times.

So you never really considered becoming an auror. And because of that letter from your parents, you forgot to control how much firewhisky you were consuming.

And, for the first time in your life, you were officially drunk.

"Ok, I'm hungry" you declared to your friend; your voice tone was louder than usual and your words came out a little shuffled.

Y/F/N faced you with some fun in her eyes; it was unusual to see you like that.

"Right. Let's go to the kitchens, then"

You frowned in confusion.

"How do we get in there?"

"Just tickle the pear" she shrugged "easy peasy". A giggle came out of her lips. "What?" Y/F/N raised an eyebrow.

"You said pee-asy" you answered, giggling one more time.

Your friend shook her head.

"You're very drunk," she said with fun. "Let's give you some food and water and put you on bed.

"Oh, but I don't want to go to bed" you made a pout.

"Well, we're going anyway," Y/F/N said firmly; she knew you wouldn't want to wake up on some random couch. "I'll tell Riley we're going and be right back. Don't go anywhere.”

If you were sober, you would never consider invading Hogwarts' kitchens in the middle of the night, and you wouldn't have escaped from your friend after she told you to wait for her, but, obviously, you weren't even a little sober.

Walking through the dark and empty corridors was already an unknown experience for you, but walking through them being so drunk seemed like an adventure. You had no idea where you were going - even though you knew you wanted to get to the kitchens.

Then an intense light blinded you for a second.

"Miss Y/L/N?" the familiar voice of your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher took you by surprise.

Your eyes widened and you stumbled in your footsteps.

"Professor Hottie!" exclaimed automatically as soon as Remus fucking Lupin appeared in your front, seeming very intrigued to find you in the middle of the hall. "I mean... Professor Hottie!" you paused for a short second; looking sideways and not noticing the amused little smile that appeared on the older man's face. "Wait I said it again... Professor Lupin! Now I did it" you smiled and turned your head to face your teacher.

Then you saw.

That damn look. The look full of savagery that made your knees weak and the air escape from your lungs.

Your teacher slowly approached you; he calculated his steps so he won’t scare you - and honestly, he needed to control himself to not kiss you right there.

Remus Lupin looked like a wolf hunting his prey - and you looked delicious in his eyes.

"Miss Y/L/N..." he kept walking towards you, causing you to automatically take a few steps back, getting close to the wall. "What a little girl like you is doing in the hallway off hours?"

The words got stuck in your throat.

"I-I-I... Ah... I..."

Then he smelled it. He smelled the firewhisky on your breath.

A surprised moan came out of your lips when Professor Lupin pushed you against the wall, pressing his body on yours; his 6'2" height rising dangerously over yours much shorter.

"Were you drinking?" his tone was not as gentle as usual; it was rough and demanding. His question came out almost like a growl.

You gulped.

Your heart beat wildly and you never felt so hot like that before; you wondered if you could burst into flames just with that interaction.

"No!" you lied.

"Y/N..." was the first time Remus said your name; you loved how your name sounded in his voice. "I think you're lying to me," he whispered close to your ear.

You felt shiver over your spine.

"Professor, I-I... I don't..."

"I, I" he repeated in a mocking tone, appreciating how nervous you looked before facing you intensely again. "Don't lie to me again. You won't like what I'm going to do to you if you lie to me again.”

You gasp with your words, and to your embarrassment, a pathetic moan came out of your throat.

Remus growled; he clenched his hands firmly, trying to control himself to not fuck you right there in the hallway - his cock already hard inside his pants.

"Or maybe you would like it" he thought to himself.

But at the same time your groaning excited him, it also awakened him from his trance. Remus remembered who he was; he was your professor and you were his student. He couldn't do anything with you.

He took a step away from you, reluctantly; taking the time to admire how delicious you looked with your breath intertwined, your cheeks blushed and so submissive.

You were disappointed when you could no longer feel his warm body against yours, but you stopped yourself from saying anything. Honestly, you had no idea what had just happened between you and your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher; it seemed wrong and it certainly was forbidden, but you couldn't help but want more.

"You will go back to your dorm. No more firewhisky for you, do you understand, Miss Y/L/N?" he asked, looking at her intensely.

"Y-Yes" you stuttered nervously.

"Yes, what?" he growled.

"Yes, Professor Lupin" you corrected yourself quickly.

A smile appeared on the man's face full of scars.

"Good girl" he couldn't prevent those words from coming out of his mouth. "Now, go" he said authoritarian.

You nodded before heading back to the party; the drunkenness seemed to have left your body completely and you almost felt sober.

Almost.

Your little interaction with Remus fucking Lupin still made you feel a little dizzy.

Y/F/N found you halfway through, she guided you to your common room and brought you to your dorm.

That night, you slept quickly because even though Professor Lupin had taken you out of your drunk state, you still had a good dose of firewhisky.

Unlike you, Remus Lupin could not get a good night of sleep.

He thought about you all night long; the way you seemed to submit yourself completely to him without any hesitation, how small and fragile you seemed and how easy it would be for him to throw you on bed or any other surface he could fuck you into oblivion, the way you pressed your thighs together when he approached you - you didn't notice it, but he did.

Remus thought that, maybe, having you wasn't something so surreal; that, maybe, you wanted it too. But he remembered the firewhisky smell on your breath.

He knew he should never have done what he did.

He should have controlled himself.

The next day, he waited for Dumbledore to tell him that he was fired, but that never happened. He waited a week, two weeks, three weeks, more than a month passed and absolutely nothing happened.

Remus didn't know if he should be relieved or if he should feel like the worst man in the world; you had completely forgotten what had happened that night.

Or that's what he thought.

In fact, you remembered every minute of yours little interaction in the hall.

You remembered the way he looked at you ferociously, his predatory walk, you remembered perfectly the growl that came out of his throat, his body against yours, his chocolate and parchment paper perfume, and you, definitely, could never forget how dominant and controlling he acted - and how your body surrender to that behavior; how you liked it.

"You won't like what will happen to you if you lie to me again", it was his words, and Merlin, you had the most absolute certainty that you would love anything he did to you. And you would still beg for more.

You waited for Professor Lupin to come to you, but he never did. You waited more than a month and nothing happened.

It was as if that night had never happened.

Of course, you felt disappointed - very disappointed - but it was your last year at Hogwarts. Your last year walking through those halls, having dinner under the starry sky of the Great Hall, cheering for your house team at Quidditch, resting on that tree next to the Black Lake and enjoying the view from the Astronomy Tower, and you wouldn't waste it lamenting for your Dark Arts Defense teacher.

You graduated. And you thought you would never see him again.

But fate had other plans for you two because in that summer of 1995, you met at Grimmauld Place, number 12.

It didn't seem wrong anymore and it wasn't forbidden, so you promised yourself:

You were going to find out what Remus Lupin was hiding.

[onepiecereactions]

Vice-Admiral Smoker and the joys of administration, OS

Smoker, Tashigi, Garp, Kizaru OS.

Humour.

Warning vulgarity.

2100 words.

English Version

Vice-Admiral Smoker and the joys of administration

Smoker hated coming backfrom a mission. Don't get me wrong, he loves his job! But two things annoyed him the most about these moments.

On the one hand, that meant not going on the sea for at least a few weeks. Indeed, Marineford had established a complex system of turnover of vice-admirals so, with some exceptions, at least 3 vice admirals are always present on the base in case of necessity.

The feeling of freedom, feeling the air on his face, not being locked, that was what made Smoker happy deep inside him. That and the feeling of having helped the citizens and brought some justice back to this damn world, obviously.

On the other hand, returning to base meant a horrible administrative mountain. And just thinking about it, headaches were already migrating through the vice-admiral's head. Luckily, Tashigi was always ready to help him and do some of his duties to let him rest.

So it was with a heavy heart that Smoker set foot on the base for the first time after months of mission. While Tashigi was already rushing into his office with the firm intention of working all night to do her report on time, Smoker was walking mechanically to his private apartments. He threw his dirty jacket on the floor, took a long, hot shower, and get into his bed, already cursing tomorrow's hellish day.

The next morning the vice-admiral woke up in a bad mood. He grabbed his jacket that he had left on the soaked bathroom floor and sighed: it was ruined. As resistant as the clothes made by Marineford are, staying intact when you get cannonballs in your back is complicated. And Smoker, unlike many of the women on the base, hated walking around topless.

So his first resolution of the day was to go find a new jacket. And of course, he was going to ask Tashigi to do it for him. At first, as a man of integrity, Smoker was remorseful about leaving so many of his tasks to his colleague, even if the latter was doing wonderfully. But after several years in Marineford, honestly, now he didn't care.

So he grabbed his den den mushis and called the brunette. After several seconds of waiting, Tashigi did not pick up. Smoker worried, it was very unusual for the young woman who had a reputation for answering even when she was asleep.

He then quickly took two cigars from his desk, threw his dead jacket over his back, and walked quickly to his office.

Misfortune never happening alone, of course, on the way he passed Admiral Kizaru. The latter joined him in his race to his office and took the opportunity to discuss. The Yellow Admiral had the reputation of loving to talk, much to the misfortune of Smoker who loved calm above all else.

"Oh, tell me dear friend, are the holes in the jacket a new fashion? I know that I am no longer very young but still, I don’t understant. Is it to provide a ventilation system? Don't tell me you have a fever my dear friend? Do you want me to call the dear caregivers of the "

Kizaru didn't even have time to finish his monologue when he got the door of Smoker's office in the face. The latter had already crushed his cigars to refrain from hitting the high-ranking officer in the face.

Once he was sure he heard the yellow monkey leave, he got into the chair across from his desk and reached into the second drawer to extract two new cigars.

After a few seconds of enjoying the smoke reaching his lungs, Smoker grabbed the stationary den den mushi of his desk and, as he went to call Tashigi, a note stuck to the back of his device intrigued him.

"Even though I warned you last night, that I sent you an official mail 48 hours before and that I slipped a note under the door of your apartment, I want to remind you, just in case, that I am absent that day until 7:30 p.m. All the captains have a meeting. I wish you a very nice day. Captain TASHIGI. "

Oh shit. For a little Smoker could have cried. It was certainly one of the worst announcements he could receive. No Tashigi. No Tashigi for a whole day! One more day after a mission! All the calls and assignments she receives today will go straight back to him, her boss! In addition to her work he was going to have to do his own! With holes in his jacket.

Smoker decided to go on strike. The schedule for that day was already far too scary to be able to live it. A thousand times he would have preferred to fight against Monkey D Luffy rather than going through it.

He then decided he would do what was necessary. He got up quickly from his seat, crashed out of his office and almost ran towards Building C. It was barely nine in the morning but the Vice Admiral thought he was fainting when he saw the huge queue in front of the door. . Obviously, it was Monday, and those morons in the administrative sector never worked weekends.

He then did like everyone else, walked over to the door to grab a numbered ticket, sat down on one of the few free seats and waited.

To his left was an ordinary soldier, without a shirt and pants, just his underwear. Smoker could smell a familiar scent of magma. Akainu had made his own again during the training of his subordinates.

Smoker looked at his ticket, number 38 and sighed. As he was about to improvise a nap while waiting his turn, his portable den den mushis rang.

"Vice-Admiral Smoker, I'm listening. » He said wearily.

The soldier at the other end of the line looked surprised to find the Vice Admiral and not the Captain. “Captain Tashigi is in a meeting, her calls are being redirected to me. If it's not urgent hang up ". Without further ado, the soldier hung up to the vice-admiral's delight.

1 hour later.

"I swear in front of Gol D Roger that if that damn den den mushi rings one more time I will blow his head against the wall." Grumbled the marine for the third time in a minute.

After an hour of waiting and 15 calls, the Vice Admiral was finally called into the room.

He almost tore his jacket from his back, put it violently on the desk while trying to keep his nerves and glared at the woman in front of him who remained unmoved.

"Vice Admiral Smoker, registration number XXXX, I need a new model 3 series AB size 98 jacket with option 13". Smoker had been clear, to the point, and hardly angry.

The woman, who was well into her fiftieth, looked at him indifferently.

“It doesn't work like that, vice-admiral. She said in a weary voice, as if she was talking to the first moron in the area.

Smoker struggled not to crush his cigars again but revised himself to think it would be difficult to face this without cigars.

"So how do you do in this case?" He asked sharply.

The woman didn't even bother to answer him, she just gave him a form. Smoker thought it was a big joke when he found himself with a five-page double-sided document in his hands.

" Are you kinding me ? Five fucking pages for a fucking jacket? Can't you just write 22 fucking words on a fucking post it note and talk about it? Bellowed the Vice Admiral who was already starting to turn to smoke in annoyance.

"Blblblbl, blblblbl, blbllb" The den den mushi began to ring, straining Smoker's last strength to stay calm.

" It's not my fault ". The woman began in a slow, boring voice.

Blblblbl, blbllblb, blbllb

"If you are too stupid"

Blblblb, blblbl, blbllb

"To complete a simple form"

Blblbllbbl, blblbl

"That even Kizaru gets to"

Blblbl, SCRATCH.

The vice-admiral's den den mushi flew across the room, finishing its course into the wall.

To the slow voice of the woman was added the tears of the den den mushi.

"FUCK OF," Smoker yelled as he stormed out of the room to make sure his fist didn't end up in the woman's face. He went out like a madman and locked himself in his office to try to find calm and serenity.

He grabbed a third cigar and after about ten minutes of relaxation began to fill out the damn form. He was only halfway through when the door to his office slammed open, knocking out the lustrous wood that had already received quite a few knocks.

"Ah my dear friend, I went to the infirmary and got you some medicine to lower your temperature. But beware, this is a suppository! ".

Smoker felt his heart stop beating when he saw the yellow admiral's face in front of his nose.

Blblblb, blbllb

"Oh my dear friend I think someone is trying to reach you on your stationary den den mushi. "

Blblblb, blbllb

"Maybe you should answer, maybe it's urgent, don't you think? "

Blblblbl, blbllb

Smoker had a vision. The den den mushi stuck, smeared with haki, right in the middle of the admiral's face, his nose bleeding.

It took phenomenal self-control for the vice-admiral not to reproduce his impulses. For the second time, he chooses to escape.

He took a pen with him to finish filling out the damn file that had become completely unreadable so much he had massacred it.

He found himself in front of the lingerie door, walked past all the soldiers and walked into the office. He barely had time to put a foot inside when he felt a stapler cross his face with its smoke.

"I DON'T THINK I CALLED YOUR NUMBER!" Yelled the woman who had "briefed" him earlier.

Smoker crushed the doorknob but stayed calm. He turned around, took a ticket from the machine, and sat down in the only seat available: the one next to Vice-Admiral Garp. "

Smoker sighed and prayed to all the gods that this old fool would leave him in peace.

So he settled down next to him and inspected him discreetly. He then realized that the old man's uniform was impeccably worn if the traces of grease were omitted from his shirt from all the donuts he had. But the Marineford hero wasn’t wearing socks.

"Don't ask questions kid." The grandfather simply told him when he met Smoker's gaze.

"Hey Smoker, I heard you're after my grandson. Did you know that when he was young he used to have fun sticking his finger up his nose to eat his boogers? Except that this stupid pirate, as he is elastic, he always ended up bleeding from the nose. Suddenly he would start screaming and running in all directions. Most of the time he would smash into a tree or a wall and fall apart, by the time the bleeding ended. Did you also know he got clean very late? I had to buy him pyjamas with an opening pocket on the buttocks because he never managed to undo his buttons and ended up pooping on himself? Ah and also the time when ”.

Smoker wanted to: die.

Blblblb, blbllbl

A mirage ? a hallucination?

"Vice-Admiral Garp, I'm listening. Ah hi Sengoku, how are you? A fishing trip? Now ? Ah I'm coming. By the way, don't you have pairs of socks to lend me? »And so the Vice Admiral disappeared through the maze of hallways, much to Smoker's delight.

It took no less than forty-five additional minutes of waiting for Smoker to finally put the damn file in the damn good drawer which, by chance again, was in building A and, as it happened, no administrative soldier was available to take the paper which he therefore had to deposit himself.

The same day, at 10 p.m.

"A call for you Vice Admiral Smoker." The bartender handed the den den mushi to the vice-admiral, who took a last sip of sake before answering.

"Good evening Vice-Admiral, I hope you had a good day! » Tashigi began. "I was wondering why you weren't answering den den mushi... I received an official document for you. It involves a fine for "disrespecting an administrative colleague" as well as a two-week ban from returning to the lingerie office. Is everything okay ”.

"I STILL PREFER TO WALK NAKED THAN TO RETURN TO THIS OFFICE".

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #428

“there’s more money in tragedy, more net worth in self-pity  /  so you’re doubling down inside of your screen, hiding behind attention you seek”

Have you ever told someone, besides family, that you love them and meant it? Yeah. I've told friends that platonically, and I've said it to two people and romantically meant it. Are the blankets that are on your bed now made by someone you know in life? No. Have you seen all The Lord of the Rings movies? I haven't even seen one. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had in 2014? I had one. Can you walk in heels? I mean I can, but I don't like to. What does your mom say about the pictures on your Myspace? First the '14 question, now this... I don't think Mom ever had a Myspace, but I can answer for Facebook. She's always the person to "heart" react them and say something about how "beautiful" I am or something. ;x; What was the last thing you and your parents argued about? Idr. Do you feel your life is at its best? Fuck no. There better be better times than this. What do you worry about the most? The most? That's hard to say... but probably my career future. Or really just the future in general. Have you ever let someone be your everything? "Everything" still feels like an understatement. He was my source of happiness, a massive part of my own identity, and my promise for a better future. It was so, so unhealthy. Think back to the last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in their arms? Two times, I wanna say? What are some things you do when you’re mad? I get snappy and try to isolate myself to cry it out. How do you feel about your hair right now? I hate itttt. It's getting too long and just boring. I'm hoping I can get up with my hairdresser soon for a trim. What’s an interesting fact about you that not many people know? Uhhhh... I guess that I was a dancer for many years. I feel like I don't really fit the general "aesthetic" of dancers, so people have definitely been surprised to find out I was one. Do you do anything embarrassing when no one is home? No. Just because no one ELSE is there, I'd embarrass my damn self lol. If you had the chance to move to a completely different state/county, would you? Fuck yes I would. Could you ever be friends with someone that broke your heart? It's funny, because that's what the traumatized, overly-attached part of me wants (at the bare minimum), but my common sense knows that's dumb as fuck. I could never healthily be friends with him. Are you scared of fireworks? No, but others are terrified by them, so keep that in mind. Does anyone know every little detail about you? No. You woke up one day and discovered that you were only able to see in black and white… as well as one other colour. What colour would that be and why? I guess red? It sounds morbid for it to be the first thing my mind goes to, but that way, I'd be able to see blood and therefore be able to detect a symptom of danger. What is your favourite soundtrack for a film/video game/television show? (Though feel free to name as many!) Silent Hill 2 and Shadow of the Colossus have fucking LEGENDARY soundtracks. What is your favourite Pokémon? Ninetales! I also really love Espeon and Umbreon, too. And Charmander. And Pikachu. And Skitty. And... well, too many, ha ha. What is something your best friend of the opposite sex does that you can’t stand? He calls me "kid" a lot. Is the last book you read a really well-known book? It's not world-famous or anything, but it seems relatively known by teens/young adults. At least, I follow a lot of artists who make fanart for it. Do you have anything besides just songs downloaded on your iPod? No. When at the beach, do you spend more time on the beach or in the ocean? In the water. I hate the beach itself. Do you have any siblings you absolutely despise? Why do you despise them? No. Have you ever babysat before? Did you enjoy this job? Yes, and no, not at all. Have you ever busted a window before? Why did you bust it? No. Do you still get scared watching old horror movies? You watch them alone? Horror movies pretty much never scare me, never mind old cheesy ones. I don't mind watching them alone. Do knives scare you? Is it from watching scary movies? I'm terrified of big knives, and it has nothing to do with movies. It's a fear that started after Mom stopped me from a suicide attempt where I was going to slit my throat with one. They just radiate danger for me. Have you ever tried to sing opera? Did it work out for you or no? No. What was the last piece of furniture you purchased? I've never bought any furniture, and I don't recall the last thing Mom bought. Have you ever broken up with someone for a reason other than lack of feelings (ex. moving away, etc.)? Yeah; we split because we were essentially two shaky towers leaning against one another. We have to learn to straighten ourselves up independently before that relationship even becomes a "maybe" again. Has anyone ever told you that you are too picky when it comes to the people you date? What about not picky enough? Neither. Was there anything unusual or unique about your birth? Nothing really, besides being born in an icestorm. My birth itself was totally normal, as far as I know. Mom considers it pretty extraordinary though because according to her, I took one look at her and smiled so big. Says a lot about our relationship now. What was the best conversation you’ve had recently? *shrug* What is the next book you are going to read? The book that comes next in the series I'm reading. Who was the last person to do something nice for you? My mom does nice things for me every day, like making dinner, letting me live under her roof... a lot of stuff. Is there any artwork in the room you’re in? Yeah, some of my stuff. Have you ever made out on a couch? Yeah. Someone asks you what you want; what do you say? Happiness. Direction. What was the last thing you complained about? Just being incredibly sore. The gym's kicking my ass, but it needs to, so I'm fine with it. How do you feel when you hear other people complaining? It depends on how frequently and about what. It can become overwhelming sometimes, especially if it's over something truly trivial. Has your name been in someone’s Facebook status lately? No. Do you own any Sims games? Which ones? I have the original animals one, as well as the African animals one (which I surprisingly like less). What was your first job? I was a sales associate at GameStop. Do people praise you for your looks? Yeah, definitely not. Do you like your eyes? No. I wish they were bluer and wider. Tell me what your back pack looks like: My last one was a galaxy texture. What celebrity do you think is hot? HMMMMMMMMMMMM I DON'T KNOW????????????? NEVER SEEN ONE IN MY LIFE O: O: O: Last movie you saw in theatre: The The Lion King remake. Has someone you were dating ever cheated on you? No. What’s the cutest thing someone’s ever done for you? I'd rather not dig through the memories to find what I'd consider the "cutest." What was the last thing you heated up in your microwave? A chicken pesto bowl for lunch. Did you ever watch Phil of the Future? Occasionally, but I was never big on it. Do you have an online game that you play often? I play World of Warcraft pretty much daily. Do you prefer regular or electric toothbrushes? Electric. What was the last thing to piss you off? Truly piss me off, I'm not sure. When and where was the last time you took a picture of yourself? Months ago in my room. I want to take a new one to update my Facebook profile pic, because I think I'm ready to return there. Who was the last person to pay you a compliment or praise? The first day at the gym, Mom told me she was extremely proud of me, and it meant a lot. I truly think I can stick to this, and it's a fucking phenomenal feeling. What’s one thought you have regarding the subject of love? It can be the most beautiful thing in the world, yet simultaneously has the capability to be one of the most painful. Do you think that it’s possible to fall in love at a young age like eleven or twelve? Who am I to say, honestly. I lean towards no because at the age of puberty, you're really all over the place with your hormones and emotions, and I just don't know if it's possible for two pre-teens to have the maturity level to grasp what it truly means to be in love with someone. But again, what do I really know? Everyone is different. Are sex and sexual activities something you enjoy? Yeah sure, if it's something I'm in the mood to engage in and I'm in love with the person. What’s an interesting fact about the state in which you were born? We're the home of Pepsi products. I know, of course I would share a fact about soda, ha ha. What’s one aspect of your life that did not turn out as you expected? Where I am now as far as "adult development" goes. I don't drive. I don't have a job. I still live with my mother. I could go on and on... By this point, I definitely expected something much, much different when I was younger. What was the last event to cause you any sort of heartache? Hm. I don't know. What was the worst phase you’ve ever gone through? *shrug* What excuse did you use most often to skip school? There were times I'd pretend to have a really bad cough. I could fake a nasty cough, man. Are you shy about singing in front of people? Very. Honestly, do you put your elbows on the dinner table? Yes, because why the fuck would that matter. I don't get how something so simple and harmless is "bad manners." Have you ever taken a picture in a public bathroom? No. Yes or no: corsets? I. FUCKING. LOVE. CORSETS. UGH I wish I could pull one off, omfg. In your opinion, is money the root of all evil? All evil? No. There are some horrible crimes people can commit that have nothing to do with money. Do you own a pair of overalls? Ew, no. I hate overalls. What is the best game to play while in the car? Uh, idk. Has a movie ever made you jump in fear? I'm sure at some point. Jumpscares are hard to be unfazed by; it's just a natural reaction to something sudden. Yes or no: pickles? Bro I LOVE pickles. Yes or no: strawberry ice cream? Ugh, no. Do you know what your mom’s favorite movie is? No, actually. Are you a role model to anybody? No fucking way I am. Do you know how much you weighed at birth? Somewhere around six or seven pounds. Look outside the nearest window. What can you see? From where I'm at, I can just see the shed. What are you interested in that most people would be surprised to know? Cutesy, pastel stuff, probably. How many bathrooms are in your house? Two. Do you prefer stripes or polka dots? Polka dots. Are you considered a very sensitive person? Very. Have you ever told someone you never wanted to speak to them again? Yes. What’s the weather like today? Is it nice enough to go outside? It's hot as fuck outside. You will NOT see me outside today. What does your last text message say and who is it from? It's just a thumbs up emoji from the woman who works at my psychiatrist's office. She schedules my phone appointments with him. Do you listen to any podcasts? How do you listen to them? No. Why did you leave your last job? It was WAY too fast-paced with lots of responsibilities that I just couldn't handle. Have you ever eaten at a restaurant and left without paying? No, that's awful. What’s your favorite scent of air freshener? Probably something floral and subtle. Are your hands and feet in good condition or could you do with a mani-pedi? Ugh. I pick my fingernails off badly, so they're a mess rn. I also DISDAIN my feet because they are horribly callused from when I used to walk like crazy. It's so weird how I can exfoliate the area and scrub (... and sometimes tear) them off, but they're pretty much immediately back. When was the last time you played a board game? What did you play? A couple years ago with Girt and Sara, I think. We played Scrabble. How old were you when you first became sexually active? Do you mean like, doing anything sexual? In which case that would be 16. I woulda been 16 or 17 when I actually lost my virginity, though. Do you know anyone who has been through a divorce? A load of people. Does anyone not know somebody? Have you ever done a juice cleanse? No. Do you have to pay for parking in most places in the town/city you live in? No. That's a foreign concept here. It's one of the very alien things I experienced in Chicago; I don't really think I knew it was a thing (save for massive attractions, like Disney Word and stuff) before then. Can you hear lots of traffic from your house? Does it bother you? No. We live in a cul-de-sac, and our road is further into it, away from the main road.

[dalamjisung]

in one year ❀ im jaebeom

word count: 2952

genre: fluff

pairing: reader x im jaebeom

description: a lot can happen in a year. this is what happened in yours.

Common love isn't for you. You knew that even before Jaebeom, and you know that now, with Jaebeom. 

You two first met when you got hired as the new Marketing Assistant, taking on their upcoming tour as your first project. No once could deny the connection in between you two; the feelings were strong enough to be felt by everyone around you, be it good or bad. You smile as you remember meeting them for the first time. 

“Come and get it, GOT7!”

Everything was happening too fast; just two minutes ago you were walking through the entrance doors to meet your new boss, and now here you were, with the seven boys smiling at you. 

“We’re GOT7,” One of them continues with a small smile. “I’m GOT7’s leader, Im Jaebeom. I hope you’ll take care of us!”

They all bow in synchrony and you take a step back, suddenly intimidated. You were their new Marketing employee, meaning you were in charge from merchandise sales to album cover approvals. They had to captivate the fans hearts, and you had to captivate their wallets. It was suddenly too real– you had a job. A real job, in the real world. And those seven real boys’ future was in your hands. 

“H-Hi,” You bow back to them. “I’m Y/N… It’s an honor to work with you all. Let’s build something great, yeah?”

The cheer that follows makes you blush and recoil into yourself. With the corner of your eyes you see Jaebeom watching you closely, and you straighten your back. You wanted to make a good impression, but you couldn’t help but feel like you were in way above your head. 

“Hey,” Jaebeom comes closer. “We’ll help you the best we can. We’re a team now. Let’s build something great.”

Together, you created something much more than just great– you created something phenomenal. As you got your work done, you couldn’t help but grow closer to the boys– you were a true believer that since this is their tour and their career, they had the final word on every single project you took on. That made Jaebeom trust you like he trusted no one else; you respected his team, his family. In return, he respected you and your hard work. He’d often see you pulling all nighters as he left to the dorms and found you in the same spot, coffee cups next to you, when he got back in the morning. He knew GOT7 was in good hands, and after a while, you knew it too. 

You confidence grew as time passed. The tour sold out, and so did their limited merchandise line you pitched to the Creative Director. The fast pace in which your name started to grow within the company was like no other; you had it in you, true talent. It made Jaebeom proud when, during team dinners– a rule you created so that you could talk to them more freely,– you’d shyly mumble some praise someone told you or a promotion you had been nominated for. 

“That’s our girl!” Jackson screamed during dinner, raising his beer glass. “Climbing that corporate ladder one step at a time!”

You laugh in the endearing way you usually did– head throw and all,– and raised your glass, clinking it with theirs. Tonight marked six months since you’ve got assigned to GOT7, and as you were celebrating you guys’ anniversary, you told them about the meeting you had with JYP this afternoon.

“But noona,” Yugyeom whines, frowning. “Does that mean you’ll stop working with us?” “Don’t worry about that Yugy,” You chuckle, stretching your arm far enough to be able to hold his hand and give it a firm squeeze. “I’m not going anywhere. Being Marketing Director just means I’ll have the final say in all projects assigned to GOT7, which means you have the final say in all projects assigned to GOT7.”

The boys cheer once again, laughing and joking about overthrowing Park Jinyoung from the CEO throne and putting in their own Park Jinyoung. You laugh and, in a moment of weakness, you look at Jaebeom. He has a smile on his face– the kind of smile you give to a loved one, small and contained, but strong and concentrated,– and his eyes were looking down at his cup. He shook his head and when his eyes met yours, you offer him a smile, and a blush. It was no secret that your affection for the hardworking leader grew every day; it was the company’s joke that you two would end up together, just like in one of the fan’s fanfictions. You two always shook your head and denied all allegations, but you knew he felt it too– the pull. 

He raises his glass slightly; another toast, just for you. 

You nod in recognition, and, later that night, when you’ve drunk one beer too many, and he had to take you home, before he could leave, you grabbed his wrist and pulled him back to you.

“Stay.”

Needless to say you were horrified once you woke up. You laugh, as memories of your past flood your brain. You could practically feel the weight of his arm around your waist as you jumped out of the bed with a shriek, making him tumble to the side and fall on his shoulder, groaning in pain. After that, you both awkwardly made breakfast and before you could say anything, Jaebeom was out of the door. The frustration that came with the next couple of weeks was something you were not ready for; Jaebeom ignored and avoided you with every chance he got. 

You shake your head, putting the lasts items in your bag as the memory of your first fight replayed in your mind.

“Im Jaebeom!” 

Your voice echoed in the empty dancing room, and the surprise was such that he even let out a scream, turning around with wide eyes and a hand over his heart. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” You seethed, marching in the room after slamming the door shut.

“…rehearsing?” He mumbles, sounding more like a question than an answer. 

“Don’t play dumb with me now, mister,” You whisper, grabbing the front of his sweaty t-shirt and pulling him closer to you– close enough to touch your nose to his. “You’ve been avoiding me for a week, now! Are you insane? I have two projects to give back to JYP that I need your approval for, but I can’t get it, now, can I? Cause you won’t fucking talk to me! Okay, I get it! You think that night was a mistake, and I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry if I made you stay and sleep over and take care of me but goddammit, you could’ve just said no! Or left! It would’ve hurt less than what you’re doing right now, you fucking asshole. The worst part of it all is that I miss you– I still fucking miss you laughing at Jackson’s stupid jokes during lunch, or screaming at Bam for getting the choreography wrong. So honestly, get your act together, because if I have to listen to Yugyeom cry one more time because he thinks I’m going to leave because of this stupid fight, I’ll bash your face in. We’re professionals. Deal with it.”

And this time, you are the one that leave.

You made him taste his own medicine. You ignored Jaebeom in any setting outside of work for three days– and that���s all he could take before showing up to your apartment.

You open the door with a sigh, ready to just grab your pizza and wallow in your misery. You’ve just been rejected by the man you had steadily been nurturing feeling for, and sure, it was al partially your fault– you let yourself go, first, admiring his love for his members, and then, his love for your. You shone under his proud gaze when you’d tell him about another successful meeting; you basked under his smile as his hand found your head and patted you affectionately; and you grew under his laugh as you told him a joke that Jackson had just taught you minutes earlier. You slowly fell in love with Im Jaebeom and you knew about it; you knew about it from when it started to when it ended. 

But it couldn’t just end like that, could it? Not with you two. So obviously, he had to show up at your door. 

“What are you doing here?” You sigh, and you sound defeated. Your shoulders are fallen and your voice is tired, and you know he knows it too.

“I fucked up.”

“Yes, you did,” You look at him and you feel anxious, noticing the panic in his eyes. Jaebeom hardly ever showed his emotions, so for you to be able to catch that, something must’ve been wrong. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Forgiven,” You hate yourself for how easily you gave in, but you just couldn’t– you couldn’t not have him in your life. “Go home Jaebeom, it’s late.”

“Can I stay?”

This question carried much more than it sounded like it did, and you knew it. If you said no, then that would’ve been it– the last of you and Jaebeom. You’d have to work with him and see him and talk to him and laugh with him, but you’d never really be with him. This couldn’t happen.

“Yes.”

His mouth is on yours before you can say anything else, and for the rest of the night, Jaebeom showed you how sorry he was. 

That night you learned what it was like to feel truly wanted; truly loved. Jaebeom apologized over and over again and you let him, forgiving him time and time again. He made you feel like the most precious diamond on Earth, rare and delicate and strong, and nothing could ever compare to that. For the next month, you got to observe your relationship blossom, and your love grow. You got to learn more about Jaebeom, and you even learned some new things about yourself.

The taxi drops you at the airport, an hour before your flight, and you rush through security, barely making it for boarding, but nothing could stop you know. This had been planned a month ago, and it’s been too long. Way too long. Today marked exactly two years since you’ve met GOT7… and exactly one year since Jaebeom asked you to be his girlfriend. 

“Babe?” You call out, entering the dark apartment. Jaebeom had texted you a couple of hours ago asking you to come over and you said that as soon as you were done with work you’d swing by. You hear fait meows coming from the main bedroom and you quietly make your way over, careful to not wake him up in case he was actually asleep.

“No, Cake, come on,” You hear angry mumbling and you chuckle as he talked to his cats. “Nora, tell your siblings to stay put! Y/N should be here anytime now and–“ You open the door upon hearing your name and the scene in front of you is precious. Jaebeom is kneeling on his mattress, next to a sunflower bouquet, trying to make his cats stand still around him. The all freeze at your presence, though, and you have to ask what’s going on before any of them could move.

“Uh…” Jaebeom lets go of Cake, who now lays on its back, waiting for her daily tummy pets she got from you. “Surprise?” 

“Surprise, indeed,” You laugh. “What’s going on?”

“W-Well,” Jaebeom stutters, and you know. You know what’s coming and you shake in excitement. You’ve been waiting months for this. “I– no, we wanted to know if you’d like to join us? I know I’m very busy, and that you are very busy, too, and that we have to try really hard to see each other, but I think we’ve been doing great so far, and we’re a small family of one man and five cats, and we’d love to add you to this little thing of ours… and I wanted to know if I could finally call my mom and tell her that I got a girlfriend. Or not; not call her and not have a girlfriend, completely up to you… yeah…”

Only Im Jaebeom could talk about his mom when asking someone to be his girlfriend and still be charming. “I’d love to join your little family,” You whisper, smiling wide and jumping on the bed, trying to avoid man and cats, and failing miserably as you fall on top of Jaebeom. “I love you.”

“And I love you,” He whispers and kisses you passionately. Just as things escalated, he pulled back, too abruptly for you to not whine about it. “But I meant it; I need to call my mom.”

“No,” You complain. “More kisses.”

“She’s been trying to set me up with these weird girls and–“

“Call your mom right this instant.” 

The flight lasts only an hour and your body buzzes as you pass through security, following the boys agent back to where they were. 

“He's gonna be over the moon when he finally sees you,” He laughs from the driver’s seat. “We’ve done a pretty good job of not telling his anything, even though Bambam almost ruined everything a few times.”

You laugh. “Are they in the hotel?”

“No,” The man shakes his head. “They are in the arena going through sound check. I already give the drive to the video crew, though, so as soon as you hear the song, just walk in.”

“Got it,” You smile nervously. “I hope he’s surprised.”

“Oh, believe me, he will be. They have been very discouraged these days; they are tired and a lot happened and I think this is just what they all need to remember.”

“Remember what?”

“Everything.”

“Remember?” You ask, sniffling as you caressed Jaebeom’s face on your computer.

“Remember what, love?” He asks, voice tired from all the concerts they’ve been playing.

“Everything,” And you let your tears falls. “Remember everything, will you? All the nights we spent talking, and all the fights we’ve had. Don’t forget a single detail, Im Jaebeom! Don’t forget me, okay?”

“Baby,” He chuckles, and even though he is smiling, you know how hard this is on him; having you so far away, crying because he’s just not there. “Just two more months, yeah? And then I’ll be home, in your arms.”

“I miss you so fucking much,” You sob, and this is so unfair. You wished you could go with him, but JYP assigned you to ITZY’s debut album while GOT7 was touring the world. He said the girls could use your magical brain for a successful launch to their career. “I just want you.”

“And I want you too,” He says forcefully. “Miss you. Love you.”

“Love you.”

That was two weeks ago. JYP had been made aware of the problems GOT7 was facing. How tired they were while dancing; how discouraged they sounded while singing; how irritated they got while resting. It was a mess, and so, pulling out of your assignment, he gave you a week off of work, allowing you enough time to go visit Jaebeom and the boys. You were there to remind them why they were doing all of this; why they were there. You even made a video, with pictures and compilations of moments you’ve had together. To fit two years of friendship in a video had been hard, but to also fit one year of dating had been almost impossible. But you did it. For them, you’d always do it. 

“Okay, we’re here.”

Security guided you to the back of the arena, since when the video started, the boys would have their backs to the main entrance, thought the audience. And just as discussed, as soon as you heard the familiar tune of ‘Lullaby’ started, you tiptoed to closer to the stage, hearing their surprised gasps and laughter throughout their mics as pictures of you all in restaurants and parks passed through. 

There it was; your story with them. Your family. Pictures of you and Jinyoung on a bookstore, and of you and Yugyeom at the zoo. There were videos of the boys dancing at the arcade and videos of birthday songs. There were videos of you and Jaebeom’s cats and pictures of you and Coco. You weren’t sure if it was you or them, but you could definitely hear someone crying. 

Just as the video ended, you laughed, quietly and to yourself, trying not to ruin the surprise. There was a minute of silence before you smile and say, as softly as you could, “Hi, loves!”

They all turn together, and their synchronization doesn’t fail to spook you. 

“Noona!” Yugyeom shouts, running to you and hugging you. You felt tears falling on your shoulders and you chuckle. 

“Hi, you big baby,” You say, patting his hair.

You make your rounds, hugging each and every one of the boys, until you got to him. He was sitting down, hands over his face, shoulders shaking from the strength of his sobs. You kneel in front of him, pulling him by the wrists and his arms go around you instead, pulling you into his lap. 

“I love you so fucking much,” He sobs on your neck. “I missed you.” “I missed you too, Jaebeom,” You whisper, caressing his hair. “I love you too. I’m here; it’s okay. Everything will be okay.”

“It will now,” He says and kisses you, ignoring the loud cheering from the boys. “Happy one year, Y/N.”

“Best year of my life,” You smile. “Happy one year.”

-------------------------

hello!!!! I am sorry for the absence, but college demands a lot from me hahah I hope you like this nonetheless! I’m a few minutes lates, but happy valentine’s! Love you all! Let me know what you think in the comments :) it means the world ❤️

[plainvanillapotato]

the 100 diaries S2 E12

quarantine: may 31 2020

season 2 episode 12: “Rubicon”

the guy is running. watch he just die and no one gets clarkes message. i would love it if clarkes plane just backfired but of course they save him. 

ok but wait why was cage just random carrying a oxygen tank when he himself doesnt even need one.

tsing out here with her own personal army. then just plucking these kids one by one. damn 

these grounders really be listening to clarke just because lexa said so?? damn these grounders be loyal minus gustus and that one guy that tried to kill clarke but then got eaten by king kong

is raven really the only person out here doing all this crap?? like does clarke not realize how big of an ask shes asking of raven? raven is magic and shit but she has some limitations just to be somewhat realistic. just chill the fuck out clarke raven is doing the best out here arguably more than clarke.

i love how bellamy is still wearing that hat still looking like sean malto. but also how has someone not noticed him? but i guess bellamy like joe from you as in if he wears a hat he magically blends in.

“...all of this is for nothing” way to put pressure on prettyboy bellamy like he didnt already know that. chill clarke everyone is trying their best out here. ngl i would hate to have clarke as a manager cuz i think she would micromanage the shit out of people. 

remember in the last episode when clarke asked what her job was well i think that i figured it out:

i also wanna mention that finn literally died idk less than a week ago but clarkes in charge being out and about commanding people years her senior. i get that we had that whole episode dedicated to how finns death affects clarke but still she got over that pretty quick. a little too quick. but i guess that if youre a sky person your emotional metabolism is just through the fucking roof...

ooo clarke still be salty toward her mom. but yeah kane is kinda an enabler

but why do these people have clear paper. the art department is feeling themselves on that one. like is it because they wanted to be edgy and futuristic or is it from an actual realistic viewpoint that the space people dont have trees to create paper................does this also mean that the space people didnt have toilet paper???????? but also back to the paper thing did these kids never learn how to write in cursive??? since i would imagine actual writing utensils are limited so idk if they waste it on teaching kids cursive. actually tho does anyone have an answer to these questions??? 

where did jaha get that antler stick. i kinda want one. i like to imagine that he just saw it lying somewhere on their way to the desert and said to himself i would look epic holding that stick and then went to pick up and started using it even tho he doesnt actually need a walking stick....any hunter x hunter fans?

jaha’s mask at 8:29 is an example of what not to wear during corona season

“thanks for the water?”...while looking down a bit flustered ”its, uh..it was no problem” emori and murphy? ship?

bellamy crawling through air vents to save the day...magenta from sky high who??

also bellamy’s ear piece is giving me everything. *i know that the following meme is just a tiny phone but i just really like it so idgaf

again with the inaccuracy of bone marrow extraction.

but what really gets me is clarke recognizing what procedure is going o just by the sound of a drill. ok who is she? she be like the boy that can identify a vacuum just by the sound. For those that don’t know what I’m talking about:

https://youtu.be/Ar5nLNku0CM

undefined

A missile?? where did these people get a missile

But also imagine if clarke was like actually i didn’t catch any of that conversation and bellamy just had to recap it like Luis in ant-man. I would die

thats a lot to ask of raven clarke. Like i could never get that shit done no matter how long you gave me. Yeah ppl be screwed if i was part of the 100

That hug btw Clarke and raven...ship? Jk i know it was just a friendship hug but yah can never know with these writers. Like i honestly wouldn’t be surprised if the writers said enemies (being part of that love triangle with finn) to friends to lovers

murphy and emori are definitly a ship. walking together behind with everyone else. Murphy said “i killed two people. I had my reasons but nobody cared.” Fuck you murphy you killed them cuz you a salty bitch. I also hate how he says this so blasé. Like dude want?? Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Murphy also said im the bad guy. Murphy is a billie elish fan?? Duh.

woah when that girl pulled out her claw????? I fell out of my seat. its actually huge. she could grab a whole basket all. They did a great job concealing/ not drawing attention to her hand before like i was so fucking surprised.

“Its pretty badass” and murphy looking at that claw tho...murphy is into kinky shit. But also that look he gave her while she walked away that was the most genuine look I’ve ever seen out of murphy.

Bellamy shoving jasper into a wall and whispering...bellamy and jasper? ship?

this secret talk between bellamy and Dante....bellamy and president Dante? ship?

But i also like to imagine that during this meeting that bellamy has the song dont be suspious. Dont be suspious playing in his head

woah. Mountain man said inconito mode activated. Reminds me of one of those green soldiers in toy story especially during the opening scene of i think the first movie

This character development in clarke is something else like remember when she talked about the grounders wanting finn out in the open and not in private causing a huge public uproar. Look at her now talking in private with Lexa about the missile. Phenomenal character growth if you ask me.

they really put all their eggs in one basket with bellamy. But bellamy be a really good basket tho. Trust Lexa trust.

where tf did this guy get an RPG??

Woah Emori be the real bad guy. But honestly she could slit Murphy’s throat and he would still live because cockroaches can still live without their head.

raven you should have just shut up. You really dropped the ball there.

lincoln???? What are the chances??? Isn’t he still a druggie?? Honestly octavias little speech would not motivate me at all. If anything it would make me want to take more drugs. At this point i would just say to Lincoln “dont fight it”

i like how they took everything but they let jaha keep his stick.

caspian is reall dressed like a hipster that sells artisanal kombucha

Jaha really has some faith in murphy...jaha and murphy? ship?

Also that was a really good shot of them murphy, jaha, and their crew climbing up the hill with a giant moon in the background

Lexa is giving me padme vibez wearing that head scarf like that

they were going to let kane and indra die

yeah sorry to break it to you abby but your child is a killer but then again so are you sooo..you really cant be out here to judge your kid like that. Like mother like daughter. But you really cant lecture clarke on this. you literally gave your husband up and you let your daughter blame her best friend for it. And on top of this you were part of the council that sent 100 kid down to earth without even knowing if earth was survivable. ma’m get the fuck outta here.

but all those lives for bellamy. i think its worth it. Because bellamy is worth everything.

theyre linking arms they got monty no!! absolutely not. they took jasper but i gotta say better he than monty bc Monty is king. Yeah jasper really fumbled with that gun. Really not smart. jasper should have just shot tsing instead

Oof a containment breach. wow what an epic door stop. Sooo loong tsing. That was such a cruel death tho but yeah she kinda deserved it.

Does Dante play the cello?? A real renaissance man isn’t he?

wow this makes octaiva and lincoln like an epic couple that conquered the world. power couple. Goals *gag* but ok does that mean that Lincoln just stopped cold turkey just like that?? Hes just automatically better? No this is not how drug addiction works. But ok sure Jan.

[psychicnymph]

what happened to aphroditedolan?

hi everyone. i’m here to address the questions that i know many of you will ask. my sudden departure from the dolan twins fandom was not an entirely impulsive decision, so i’m here to explain.

first and foremost, i deactivated because of the sheer amount of blatant, cruel, and unacceptable disrespect i endured while writing for fun and for free. i would spend hours, upon days, upon weeks, upon months working on projects and i still got this disrespect. people were critical of my appearance, my strong-willed and passionate nature, the way i presented myself online -- but, amazingly, never of my writing. see, truth be told, arrogance in tote, my writing is phenomenal. it was rare that you’d catch a spelling or grammatical error (which is a direct result of my educational privilege, i recognize), each plot was well thought-out, each descriptor would bring the scenery, the characters, the erotic scenes to life; you name it, i took the time to near-perfect it. i wrote, edited, sometimes went as far as rewriting -- my point is, i was dedicated. 

a few weeks ago, i even took the time to completely reorganize my blog; i gathered and linked all the small concepts & blurbs i wrote and put them into a masterlist, on top of updating my fic masterlist to be more aesthetically pleasing, cleaner, and editing pictures myself to put them on both masterlists. i did this because i was excited to continue the two short series which i had started: Let Me Get That For You and A Girl is a Gun. additionally, i had ideas, WIPs, and other projects i was planning and writing for that i couldn’t wait to embark on -- and then, it was like something changed in the fandom.

well, i suppose i can’t say changed. let’s say more like... got exponentially worse.

from the very beginning, there were two types of people who i noticed in the twins’ tumblr fandom: there were those who earned their numbers, and there were those who preached ideas of entitlement. there was also a hierarchy: big blogs, and small blogs. it was like a caste system of its own kind. i’d like to discuss this for a brief moment.

when i first started writing, i was absolutely nobody in the fandom. i wasn’t on other platforms, i hadn’t been a stan for very long, i didn’t know anybody -- the tumblr fandom was where i wanted to start and, for the most part, ended up staying. i mention this because at the time of aphroditedolan’s deletion, i was considered a “big blog.” how did i go from small to big, then? if it’s a caste system, how could i have transitioned?

the answer is simple. the system you all created doesn’t exist. in this fandom, you are either entitled or you are talented, and that’s about it.

i never sat around begging people to like, reblog, or read my work, and i never pleaded for followers. i got them because i put out good, consistent, beautiful writing. i interacted with people, i wrote for prompts, i reached out and cultivated friendships, i did what i went to tumblr to do: write and be part of a community that loved the dolan twins. that’s it. the numbers came through hard work, dedication, and most of all, earning every one of them. 

no one on this earth or any other is entitled to likes, reads, reblogs, comments, kind words, attention, followers, or anything of the sort. yes, everyone deserves those things; no, you shouldn’t just get them. you should strive to earn these things. and honestly, while i think everyone is deserving of a chance, not everyone is cut out to be a writer. not everyone is made or meant for this art. because it’s an art. it’s a skill that needs to be developed and practiced. you can’t just sit down and bang out some writing. you absolutely must be dedicated and passionate about it if you ever want a taste of being successful. and that’s just it; some of you are doing this for the wrong reasons. you do it for the numbers. numbers do not fucking matter. they aren’t even real. it’s just a count of people who have physically interacted with your post, or people who actually decided to follow you.

everyone deserves to have their craft appreciated, but when you just start writing for the attention you think it’ll get you, that’s not a craft. that’s you doing the things you see others doing because you see the attention they get and you want a piece of that for yourself. it’s a shitty, horrible motive. and then, when it’s obvious that writing isn’t your strongest talent or even a genuine passion of yours, you whine about some system that isn’t fair, you create something to blame for your lack of success -- of course, it must be the bigger blogs.

i’m proof that that just isn’t true and y’all are lying to yourselves. in less than a year, i ended up with 4k followers and extremely successful pieces. again, because i earned it. through time, effort, and dedication, i earned it.

another thing that came with the culture of entitlement in the fandom was people being self-pitying in order to evoke guilt in their audience, so that people would go and tell them, no, your writing is so good, keep it up. they did it as a means of getting the attention they hadn’t earned. people got into the habit of trying to use me for more attention. they would feign friendliness, interest in my blog, etc., all to say, hey, can you check out my writing and reblog it?

i don’t fuck with that shit. it’s a huge part of why i had to turn my submissions off and my messages off from people i didn’t follow. i don’t like people who only care about numbers and want to use me for more numbers. it was beyond disrespectful that people thought i couldn’t see what they were trying to do; honey, manipulation is a skill just like any other, and i’m better at it than you are. don’t try it on me.

besides the overly-entitled, suffocating people who would shit on, criticize, and blame others for their low numbers which resulted from their sheer lack of effort and self-awareness (and by this i mean actually stopping to question 1. what is your motive here and 2. is what you’re producing actually good or is it slapped together messily?), there was also the culture of feedback to the writer from the audience. 

it was rare that i’d get any other response on my writing besides “part 2?” “more?” “part 2 plzzzz” “you need to update this” and etc.

how many times is the writing community gonna have to say that those comments aren’t helpful, kind, supportive, constructive, or ANYTHING besides annoying? they’re demanding. they push the idea that they just want more of the same ol’ shit. even after i made it blatantly clear on more than one occasion that i don’t take requests and would not be adding a part 2 to something unless it was upon my own discretion, there were still constant, never-ending, tireless requests for more, or requests in general. it was frustrating and infuriating. i was so tired of repeating myself. and when i stopped repeating myself and started linking people to asks or my FAQ where i had already answered that question, people wanted to act like i had an attitude. people gave me endless grief that i was a bitch, aggressive, had a shitty attitude; no, babe. i just wasn’t tolerant of poor treatment. you should try to start adopting this attitude for yourself. respect yourself and know your worth. it’s really as simple as that.

when the biphobic comments rolled around, i’d had enough. it’s when i decided to take my break, truly because i was furious (as i had every right to be) and because that whole situation made me not want to write at all. all my passion and motivation to finish projects i’d been so excited to do for you guys went out the window. it’s sad that y’all pushed me over the edge this way. i gave it time, i let the wounds heal, i let the anger fade, and i started an official hiatus to do this. i’m also in school again, which meant i’d be less active anyway, and it felt like a good idea to just put some distance between myself and the tumblr fandom. but the distance has only solidified the feeling that i’m just not appreciated as much as i deserve to be. and i don’t mean in numbers. i mean for the amount of effort i put in to get constant backlash on things that don’t even have to do with my writing, to work so hard only to be pissed the fuck off, to dedicate so much time and energy to a group of people only for y’all to erase my identity, send me hate, try to act big and tough and like you’re the shit behind anonymous... i’m good luv, enjoy.

there are also other factors; truths about some of the people in the fandom that are idolized, the constant plagiarism of my work, the overwhelming sense of responsibility that came with keeping up with my blog like it was a job, among other things that i don’t care to elaborate on.

so that’s it. i got tired of the same old shit and i know i deserve better. below, i’ll answer some questions that i think some people may be left with:

are you and luna still dating?

yes. for the last time, yes. we are dating. we are a couple. we love each other. we are in a long distance relationship and we are actually dating. not like two besties pretending to date because it’s quirky -- we are actually. fucking. dating. and no, nothing happened between us to make me make this decision. we are doing great.

are you gonna write ever again?

in my life? yes. for the twins, in this fandom, or on this platform? fuck no.

are you still a fan of the twins?

yes! oh my god, probably always. no matter where they go or what they pursue, i’m there with them. they have made my life better, and i have a lot to thank them for. i’ll just be enjoying their content from alllllllllll the way over here.

are you gonna be blogging about the twins?

not at all. in fact, i don’t even follow rockstardolan because i’m keeping my dash away from all of that. i’m not following any dt related blogs. i’m gonna do my thing over here, and love the twins in private, on my own terms. 

why did you delete all your writing?

in truth, after everything, i don’t even want it to remain there. i essentially wanted to erase my contribution and my footprint on this fandom. plus, having my writing just out and about, having already been plagiarized so i’m sure you can find some things in various illegal wattpad compilations, makes me worry about more people doing that. i wanted to keep that damage to a minimum. so yeah, they’re gone forever. 

what about your friends, people you interacted with, etc?

the people who matter will stay in touch. there are some people i’ve cut out from my life for good because they’re toxic and quite frankly i just don’t like them. i’m done subjecting myself to people i don’t even fucking like for the sake of keeping others happy. but, the good friends who respected me, treated me well, etc, they’ll reach out when they can. i’d say i encourage it, but i have a lot on my plate as is and have a hard enough time keeping up with things in the real world, let alone things online. there’s still love there, i’m just keeping a safe, healthy distance and doing what’s best for me. 

if you have other questions, you can feel free to ask, but i’m really not in the market for new friendships. it’s not that time in my life. i literally cannot handle more than what i’ve got on my plate, and i’m keeping my priorities in order. i don’t care if you think i’m rude, if you think i’m a bitch, if you think i’ve got a bad attitude, if you think i’m a piece of shit, if you’re angry, if you’re sad, even if you’re gonna miss me -- this is for me. i’m letting this out as a big, fat fuck you to the things and people that ruined my experience on aphroditedolan, and as an explanation for the few people who deserve it.

take care of yourselves. do the things that make you happy. don’t tolerate things that don’t make you happy. do no harm, take no shit, and most importantly,

stan the FUCKING dolan twins.

signed,

daniella/dani/aphroditedolan, however you have known me. 

[monkey-network]

Good Stuff's Best of 2019

WARNING: Just wanted to say cheers to you for making it through another year. I send you best wishes for next year to be fruitful. Thank you, take care out there, and enjoy. (Best of 2017) (Best of 2018)

Dedicated to Russi Taylor, John Witherspoon, Rip Torn, Tartar Sauce, Caroll Spinney, Peter Matthews, and the many of KyoAni lost in the arson incident. You all did wonderful; rest in peace.

Welp, I figured the last year of this decade would be the most chaotic one by far, then again everything peak after 2012. As for now, I am counting down the best cartoons/animations/comics I’ve seen and loved this year in no particular order other than #1. Same rules apply: No sneak previews of future projects, no repeats, and this time anything goes.

Runner Ups: Superman Smashes the Klan, Marvel’s Aero, Infinity Train, Enter the Florpus, Amphibia, Mao Mao: Heroes of Pure Heart, Helluva Boss, Meta Runner, Lego Movie 2, Forky Asks a Question

Anyways, Badda boom bang whiz, let’s do this shizz...

10. Super Mario Bros GT

Nostalgia can be quite a mystery, especially one that can come out of nowhere. Super Mario Bros Z kicked so much ass as a kid that now, it still frustrates me to this that it got a cease & desist from Nintendo, even the reboot from the same person couldn’t last long. But the gods have offered a slight miracle in the form of this new spiritual successor that has heart and soul put into every pixelated frame. There is much to celebrate with Youtube animation, where many say it’s dying due to the algorithm and all of the site’s corporate bullshit, but it’s stuff like this which helps me understand why we should celebrate. Against all odds, channels like Smasher Block willfully put their works out their for the people and continues to because on top of getting a little dough, it’s what they want to do.

9. DC SUPER HERO GIRLS (2019)

Awwwwww yeah, this is She-Ra and the Princesses of Power done right. Diverse female squad, each given a quality screen time to truly shine (Beecher especially) on their which makes the episodes where they’re all together feel earned and joyous to watch. Certainly reminds me of Friendship is Magic, which is coincidental since they were created by the same woman. I’d like to think this and MLP G4 were the answers to Faust’s cancelled project Milky Way and the Galaxy Girls where multiple personalities collide to one extraordinary superhero team of girls capable great feats that are lifted from their insecurities or drawbacks. And on top of this being a fun series to kick back to all around, it’s a comforting, somewhat aspiring thought to consider.

8. JOKER

I am somebody that rarely goes to the theaters to watch a film; you have to hook my tight just for me to even think of buying a ticket, no less plan to. But honestly, Joker was worth the hype, the ticket, and the fact that it wasn’t the incel uprising that buttfuck normies tried to make it out as. It’s lower on the list because in thought, there definitely could’ve been some tweaks to the dialogue and a couple scenes that I felt didn’t work in the long run. But really, this movie to me worked because of the escalation that leads to a cathartic climax and ending that left me in actual tears. I don’t give a shit if it “doesn’t fit”, having Frank Sinatra sing the film's credits put me in shambles. Joaquin Phoenix was phenomenal as Arthur, and this movie felt authentic in its many details. This is definitely up there with my favorite comic book films of all time. Good thing, too, Spider-Man was taking up most of that shelf.

7. TUCA & BERTIE

This series being what I can’t help but say is a spin-off to Bojack Horseman, a show I respect, was enough to pull me into watching it. But it being like Bojack where it’s tight-roping between a bouncy comedy and a grounded drama was what kept me around for more. It is a damn shame this was cancelled after one season (while 13 Reasons Why gets FOUR seasons like what the fuck), because while this did feel enough like a complete series, I was certainly interested for more because I really enjoyed it all. I have my issue with a couple choices in the show, but I am sure this series would’ve addressed them later down the line. I can see why some women would find this personally endearing, it felt like the personal stories of actual people, and it deserved better. Either way, I enjoyed this series and I recommend it just as much as Bojack.

6. PRIMAL

Genndy Tartakovsky is that kind of cartoon creator where you feel he’ll go beyond if you give him the right amount of space. He’s not a perfectionist like John “Dirty Diddler” Kricfalusi, but with things like Hotel Transylvania and Samurai Jack, he certainly has proven to have the range in animation where you know how he plays. Primal showcasing his noted skill in dialogue-less storytelling and dynamic action scenes, able to convey everything clear with its ruthless yet careful protagonist and his dinosaur friend, all on top of the most luscious backgrounds. This is a series that definitely feels like Genndy’s taken what he’s used from his previous works and putting it together for a brutal yet passionate look at the prehistoric life. He truly brought us an adult series to enjoy and to look forward to more in the coming year.

5. SPINEL

Bet you didn’t expect a character to be on this list, eh? Spinel is the best thing to come out of Steven Universe in general; makes me wish she was in a better movie. The crew certainly did their darndest to make her not only an enjoyable and connectable character through and through, but a very versatile character that the fandom could take in any which way. Call it corny, but Spinel perfectly represents SU as a whole: a lovable goof that can certainly mean business but deep down is deserved of a hug because of what she’s gone through. Wish she had a more satisfying resolution in her respective debut, but really it’s the balance between those three elements mentioned that makes Spinel almost eternally wonderful.

4. MOB PSYCHO 100 II

As someone that doesn’t like reading, I’m a firm believer that the best animations or visual medias elevate the writing to a memorable degree; the visuals hook to the point where you want to think about what you saw and how it was conveyed. Mob Psycho 100, for two seasons now, does this in spades where Studio Bones throw them bones in animating one of the most dynamic animes of the modern era, providing the writing and characters a proper chance to flex its muscles. The characters are especially what makes this and MP100 as a whole work so well, the story being about a boy learning to be more sociable as well as emotionally stronger all while helping others understand maturity and empathy. For more on this, I recommend Hiding in Public’s video(s) on Mob. But with the animation, Bones was able to provide a sense of impact and immersion to the moments that matter, not making it an overstimulating mess, and putting some respect on ONE’s webcomic art style. 

3. KLAUS

Hands down, this is a great Christmas movie. Take away the animation and you have a charming, wanna say ground and authentic, story about the makings of Santa Claus. With memorable and likable characters, a nice escalation in terms of the plot, and moments that are/can be so satisfying, they can bring you to tears. A couple overdone tropes in the road that doesn’t make this the most perfected story, but those sincerely minor compared to everything else that makes this story the best. Now. Add in the animation, and you have a gold, nay a platinum animated story of the year where the visuals definitely enhance the story to a degree where they’re undoubtedly inseparable. The visuals alone is enough to check this movie out and it’s eye-opening when you learn of how it’s all done. Klaus is a film that did it’s job and then some, and I hope this will be well remembered as a classic holiday film for it deserves that status.

2. BEASTARS

I’ll be fair, I’m mostly referring to the manga and not the anime but since the anime premiered this fall, it counts. Because be it the anime or the series overall, Beastars has such well intricate world building all while offering a little something for everyone (violence, romance, slice of life). The story is well paced and even when we aren’t focusing on the main characters momentarily, Itagaki is surprisingly able to make every supporting/side character we come across memorable in their own way; like I said before, the city is much a character in this story. Oh yeah, and the mangaka is the daughter of Keisuke “Grappler Baki” Itagaki, that in itself is a treasuring bit of trivia for this. Everything about Beastars is enticing and Studio Orange certainly helped in giving this series more of a following.

1. GREEN EGGS & HAM

Well, well, well. Guess Netflix is three for three in terms of bringing its best foot forward among its few steps back each year. The best term to describe this series is surprising. Surprising that this is a Dr. Seuss story that got expanded a 13 episode series, that has fleshed out characters, fun hijinks, an easy story, lovely emotional, more quieter moments... on top of being 2D hand drawn animated. I mean, what else is there to say? Green Eggs and Ham is to Dr. Seuss what Seven was for Final Fantasy, what Friendship is Magic was for MLP, what watermelon was before a nice menthol cigarette. This definitely took the top spot because to me, it was able to bring many good elements from the previous entries and knot it all together into a well kept bow that I never knew I wanted until now. I’m genuinely glad this show got to exist the way it is and I am hoping, praying, that the second season keeps that momentum up.

That leads us to the actual number one which is

1. STEVEN UNIVERSE FUT-

Total Dramarama is now the two time World Heavyweight Champion, babey. Will 2020 give us a quality contender? Will the streak last another year?

Stay tuned, and always seek out the Good Stuff.

[hannahlovestheatre]

A RANT ABOUT RENT LIVE AND HOW GOOD IT WAS

Okay so I need to stand on a soap box real quick to make a point. Please read the whole thing. I feel like Rent Live not only needs to be reviewed but is the perfect example for what I am about to say. If you have a problem with this, thank u next.

Let me ask you a question. How many people do you know named or are probably named Sarah? How about Taylor? Maybe Alex? Okay, now that you have a number in your head think about this: are they all exactly the same? Same hair color? Eye color? Body type? Do they all play soccer? Do they all love the same kind of music? Are they all the same race? Same sexual orientation? Is your answer no? It should be. They are all different yet special in their way.

Now let's look at Rent. We have Rent, the Broadway musical (which is actually a reincarnation La Boheme, an opera with a lot of other versions as well!!! It all comes full circle) ; Rent, the movie; and Rent Live. All share a name but none of them are the same. They are all special in their own way.

Rent, the Broadway musical, is one of if not the most revolutionary musical to hit the Great White Way. Without it, Hamilton and Dear Evan Hansen and The Prom and The Band's Visit and Fun Home probably wouldn't exist. It inspired artists to cross the borderlines and expressed the true meaning if love and being a part of a community, a family. It inspired composers like Lin Manuel-Miranda do even make musicals. It swept the Tonys, it won the Pulitzer prize, it ran for a very long time. It was so important that they filmed a pro shot of the final performance. However, that proshot was not a one take deal. They pre filmed some stuff to get those epic close ups, like the beginning of Out Tonight. Again, it was crucial to the world of theatre.

Next we have Rent, the movie. It was filmed as an independent film, kinda like how The Last Five Years was. They got most of the original cast to reprise their roles. Tracie Thoms and Rosario Dawson swept in to save the day. They are honestly the best Joanne and Mimi that I've seen. Tracie has played Joanne literally everywhere: in the movie, on Broadway, and at the Hollywood Bowl. And it was also a good thing for Rosario to put on her resume. The actual movie itself cut and rearranged the order of songs from the musical and doesn't focus much on being in the 90s but the present day. There's nothing wrong with that, but the creative team wanted this Rent to be it's individual being. People that see the movie might have only seem the movie and not the Broadway musical. When they see it's mostly the same cast, they got excited and were looking forward to seeing the other Rent. It's not the same Rent, but it's called Rent and is similar to that other Rent, but it's not that Rent. It's like Rent the II.

And as of yesterday we have Rent III, Rent Live. Now I get it. Technically this wasn't live as in broadcast live and everything you saw was happening in real time and that sucks but also thank God they filmed that final dress or it probably wouldn't have happened at all or at least not in the way they planned. The whole concert version they released clips of would have been what we saw for those 3 hours instead of the full out production that we deserved to see. People would have stopped watching right away if they only got to see poor Brennin in a wheelchair and the cast just sitting there in the same spot watching with the live audience they have in front of them. But ya know what? It was still live. They did'nt lip sync or animate themselves to be CGI dancers. They sang live, they moved live, they had a live audience. That's why it's called LIVE THEATRE. It is happening in front of a group of people. This was also the first live musical that had an issue that prevented them from putting on the production as is. Grease Live had some weather and audio issues but guess what? They added pre filmed video and audio to fix that!!!! Tbh, I would not be surprised if they stop broadcasting it live and make it live meaning LIVE theatre in front of a LIVE audience that you prerecorded and show the world on whatever night.

The cast was unlike the other two in the sense that it was part Broadway performers, part music artists, part actors and dancers that can sing, and one phenomenal drag queen. If you want my opinion, Valentina is tied with Wilson Jermaine-Heredia as the best Angel. For someone who has never done anything like this, she did a hell of a job and was literally perfect in the role. Vanessa Hudgens, again in my opinion is probably the best Maureen. Her Over the Moon soars over any other one I have seen from the costume to her comedic timing to her commitment to the whole damn thing. She killed it. We also got see Jordan Fisher live his lifelong dream of being the first POC Mark and he did the role justice. The way they wrote Mark's monologues and made him feel as isolated from his group as friends as we've seen him was BRILLIANT. Especially at the top of Act 2 where they incorporated Seasons of Love into the plot, something that was not done in the other Rents which was literally genius. It was where I shed my first tear. Then we have Brandon Victor Dixon who did the best I'll Cover You Reprise EVER. I thought Michael McElroy was the best before last night. I was a wreck when Brandon did it. He is definitely one of the knots that binds these things together. And then we have Tinashe, Mario, and Kiersey Clemons. These three did their roles justice as well. I think Tinashe was up to par with Rosario's Mimi but her Mimi was definitely the most believable because she played it so young, she is supposed to be 19 but also a little coy and super sexy, which she did. Mario's vocals popped off and he definitely showed how much of a jerk Benny is. And Kiersey had a rocky start in my opinion but still played a great Joanne that had the perfect amount of spunk, sass, poise, and intelligence. Oh and don't get me started on Keala Settle. That woman took me to theatre church to bless the lord of blessing us with her talent. They rewrote Paul to be a woman named Cy which to me felt so raw.

And now the censorship thing. Idk what everyone else saw but I saw the same risque and edgy components of Rent that the Rent I and Rent II. The lyric changes were obvious ONLY TO THOSE THAT KNOW OF THE OTHER RENTS IN THE FIRST PLACE. And the changes they did make were seamless. On these main broadcasting networks, you cannot say shit, fuck, dildos, expose bare asses, be overtly sexual, etc. etc. unless that creative team anticipates a lofty fee and a potential lawsuit. They were only able to cross a certain amount of lines before it got out of control. The final line was clearly mucho masturbation. They had things taken away from them and saw it as the perfect opportunity to really make this Rent the 2019 Rent that is different from the other 2 but doesn't try to be the most superior of the three we know of.

Do you see what I mean though? All of these things are called Rent but none of them are the same or trying to replace the other creations. Sarah A isn't trying be better than Sarah B who isn't trying to beat Sara, the one without an H at the end of her name and the same applies to any new adaptation of a book or movie or musical. Every time this happens, that same story is trying to be expressed to an audience that needs to hear it. This messed up world we live in now needs to see a place where people are loved and accepted and are a part of a tight knit community. Rent does exactly that.

So the next time you see that ______ Live is happening or _______ the Musical is happening or a certain musical is getting a film adaptation, don't compare the two as one entity. Call it _____ II or the Sara without an H at the end.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[james-stark-the-writer]

So I just finished Lucifer S04...

... And what the fuck. What the fuck. I did not sign up for this. But I totally signed up for this. NETFLIX I WILL NEED A SEASON 5 YESTERDAY, THANKS.

Spoilers, duh.

The fucking ending killed me. It killed me in every way imaginable. I'm going to fucking cry.

Goddamnit, Lucifer. What the fuck. I—

Let's go back a tiny bit. So, when we first learned the prophecy was real, I was dead sure it had to be Lucifer turning full demon and hell breaking loose.

Then we got the Eve plot line and I died. I love and hate Eve so fucking much. I'm the most conflicted about her. Because while her storyline was amazing, her actions just made me want to yeet her out a window. I don't think I've been this conflicted in ver a character since Joe Goldberg. Aaaaaaahgghh. But I kinda knew where her plot line was going when she started changing herself for Lucy. But I still wanted her and Maze to end up together. Bisexual queens, the both of them. Yesss. But, maybe in s05.

Amenadiel was the best one this season besides Dan. His storyline was absolutely amazing and the way they handled his reaction to racism and police brutality? Phenomenal. This is how you handle the issues, you fucking dipshits. Absolutely phenomenal. I knew he couldn't break Linda's heart but for fuck sake I actually thought he took the baby to the silver city when he went missing.

Absolutely fuck Kinley. Both before and after death, he was an asshole. That's about all I have to say on him. Though the actor really did a good job. I've loved him since Outlander and The Hobbit Movies. I knew he was going to be fantastic.

Dan and Ella have left me the most conflicted this season besides Eve. Like, fuck, I don't ship them. But I get the whole Kindred Spirits thing they have. I do not like them together but Dan needs Ella's influence right now. But like, as a friend. I don't like them as a couple.

Chloe, Linda and Maze were all absolutely fantastic this season and I loved Chloe's journey from Episode 1 to episode 10. Hell, everyone's journey this season was fantastic. Including Eve and Amenadiel and Lucifer.

Honestly, this season was just as good as S01, if not a little bit better. I can't wait for the next season. And honestly, there's really nothing bad I have to say about it.

Except the ending. I didn't sign up for this goddamnit. The feels hit me really really bad when I saw his wings were normal again. I teared up, bitch. Fuck. They already hit me when they kissed but like fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck they hit me really hard when we saw his wings and then cut to him back in hell. Aah, the chills. Magnificent.

Although the fight with Dromos was a tad bit underwhelming, ngl. "Needs more oomph." If I'm quoting Lucifer. Eh, felt a bit weird he kept the full squad in until the end. But, fair. I get it was the ace up his sleeve. Also don't understand when he didn't feed the baby the bottle after Lucifer came in. I mean, what was stopping him? He just stood and watched the fighting instead of taking the baby. A bit contrived but I don't mind much.

It's not a perfect ending but it's given enough answers to be a series end and left just enough questions to make a season 5. I love this fucking show so fucking much, it's absurd.

9.8/10. It's absolutely perfect. The 0.1 is gone because of the Dan and Ella ship but like, I still understand it. And the other 0.1 because of the underwhelming fight with Dromos and the other demons.

I NEED S05 RIGHT NOW.

[binkywinky]

hi! Comics rec anon here! to answer your question, I'm not entirely new to comics, have read a few but not enough to say I have a specific type. The first series I read was all the jessica jones comics which I really liked, also the miles morales series which i enjoyed and the spidergwen series which was cute but the art was kinda annoying lol. i also like a couple of dc ones like mister miracle. so i think i prefer a general rec from you since the comics world is so big. thanks in advance!

Got it. Hmm… let’s see. It’s probably easiest to break it down by publisher then. I’ll try to give a mix of ongoing, finished, and “classic” stories. 

Fair warning, I read a lot of comics (probably about 60 per month, and that’s not including manga), so even though this may feel like a long list, it’s short for me.

Marvel

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man - Relatively new series, and it’s been fantastic so far. Great art, and a bit more grounded than the Amazing Spider-Man run (which is also great). Stellar art, too.

Miles Morales: Spider-Man - A little YA-ish at times, but overall enjoyable. You get to see a lot more of Miles’ personality in this one, which is always fun.

Superior Spider-Man - Because nothing is more fun than seeing a semi-reformed Otto Octavius try to be a hero.

Captain Marvel - Kelly Thompson does a phenomenal job with this series. She has a great hold of Carol’s voice. Would highly recommend Kelly Sue Deconnick and Margaret Stohl’s previous runs to give context (Captain Marvel 2012-2017, Mighty Captain Marvel, and The Life of Captain Marvel).

Jessica Jones - Not sure if you’ve read Kelly Thompson’s recent run or just Bendis’, but hers is definitely worth a read.

Avengers (2019) - actually a solid run. I would check this out if you’re more into crossover, large-scale storytelling. They’re in the middle of War of the Realms, though… so maybe wait until like August or September?

Immortal Hulk, Daredevil, and X-23 - also good. I read them off and on (not really my fave characters to read on their own, I enjoy them in ensembles), but the stories are solid.

Rogue & Gambit - mini series that I absolutely love by Kelly Thompson (she does great character work) that came out last year. Mr. & Mrs. X is a follow-up to it and also tons of fun (nearing its end as well). 

Runaways - I fell off of this when Brian K. Vaughn left, but I can say up through his run ended is well worth the read.

As far as classic stories, Infinity Gauntlet, The Dark Phoenix Saga, X-Men: Age of Apocalypse, Secret Invasion, and Secret Wars would be my first recommendations.

I would’ve recommended Spider-Gwen: Ghost Spider, but maybe wait on that. It’s about to end soon and transition to just Ghost Spider (where she leaves Earth-65 and comes to Earth-616 where Peter and Miles are). Same for X-Men. I’m currently reading Uncanny, but X-Men is about to be overhauled soon. So probably hold on that front.

DC/Vertigo

Honestly, not the biggest DC fan (I lean more towards Vertigo actually), but there are a few that I enjoy.

Action Comics (starting at #1000) - I am not a Superman fan, but I enjoy this series, which says a lot. I enjoy what Bendis is doing with him in this run.

Naomi - a new series, also by Bendis, following the story of a young Black girl who is investigating the circumstances around her adoption. Don’t want to give too much away, but probably my fave DC run at the moment. And Jamal Campbell’s art is fucking gorgeous.

Dial H for Hero - it’s fun. It’s weird. Not for everyone, but maybe give it a shot.

The Flash and Batman, New 52 runs - New 52 gets shit from fans a lot, but I thought these runs were awesome. Very good story-telling.

Dark Nights: Metal event - Probably one of the best things DC did in a long time. It’s a massive event that pretty much reworked the DC universe and all the characters. Enjoyed it immensely.

Heroes in Crisis - this miniseries ended very recently. It’s a story focused on a major event that happens at Sanctuary, a rehab for superheroes suffering from mental health issues (e.g. PTSD after doing something that nearly killed them). Not your usual superhero story, which I liked.

American Carnage - very gritty story focused on a white-passing Black man who infiltrates a white supremacist organization. It’s really fucking good.

High Level - I picked this book up randomly because the cover looked cool. I’ve been reading it ever since. I would say it’s weird sci-fi/fantasy/cyberpunk adventure. A little strong on the language, but very interesting story and great artwork.

Birds of Prey - awesome series with the DC women. A little shaky sometimes, but Gail Simone does really good character work. Her run is probably the only one I’d bother reading.

Deathbed - miniseries by Vertigo that ended maybe a year ago. It’s so bizarre and hilarious and out there. I loved it.

Batwoman (J.H. Williams run) and Batwoman: Rebirth - Kate Kane, my favorite lesbian superhero. Williams did a great job in his run (and the art is to die for). Don’t read the back half, they change writers and it’s a goddamn mess. But then Marguerite Bennett (a queer woman) picked it up in Rebirth, and it got awesome again. Also, shout-out to Greg Rucka for officially making her queerness canon in 52.

Wonder Woman - Wonder Woman’s my fave of DC main characters (along with Martian Manhunter and Wally West I & II), and my favorite run for her is Greg Rucka’s. He does a surprisingly good job of writing women. The run is over at the moment, but I’d check it out. Good stuff there.

For classic stories, Kingdom Come, Watchmen, Flashpoint (precursor to New 52), and Neil Gaiman’s Sandman are some of my faves.

Image

Image is probably what I read the most. Definitely has the most diverse pool of comics to choose from.

Saga - My favorite comic series of all-time. I’ve gotten so many people to read this and they love it. It’s weird - really weird, actually - but the storytelling is phenomenal. And it’s on hiatus right now, so plenty of time to get caught up.

Ice Cream Man - This series is so fucking weird, but I love it. It’s sorta like… Tales from the Crypt? Different stories (mostly horror) that all feature this demon ice cream man.

The Weatherman - This series is such a goddamn delight. I don’t want to ruin the plot but just… yeah. Read the first issue and it just goes crazy from there.

Man-Eaters - Sort of a niche story. Basically, this takes place in a society where when women get their cycle, they turn into giant cats and maul men, so they’ve given them pills to keep them from menstruating. Sounds weird? Wait until you read it. Probably a highlight series of the year for me. 

Black Science - You might not like the art in this one, but maybe give it a shot? These scientists are trying to solve the problem of limited resources on Earth by hopping across dimensions for new ones (infinite dimensions, infinite resources). Only problem is, their machine got damaged so now they hop uncontrollably to whatever dimension it chooses for however long it decides. It’s a wild ride.

Middlewest - An interesting take on parent/child relationships and how the consequences of abuse, anger, and depression can manifest in dangerous ways. Sounds more bleak than it is - the story actually has quite a bit of humor.

Excellence - Very new series, but with a PoC lead, about PoCs, with mostly PoC creators. A story about a secret society of Black magicians and a son whose next in line to take on the mantle, and it’s pretty fucking cool. Issue 2 comes out this week - check it out!

The Walking Dead - I don’t think I have to explain this one, do I? Zombies.

Lazarus and Lazarus: Risen - Sci-fi story set in a dystopian society where the world is ruled by like 15 or so families, and they each have a Lazarus to fight for them. This is told from the perspective of the Carlyle family’s Lazarus, Forever. 

Die - If Dungeons & Dragons and Jumanji had a baby, it would be this book. Sounds weird, but once you read it, you’ll find the description to be accurate.

Anything from Brian K. Vaughn - I have yet to read something from Brian K. Vaughn that I don’t like. Saga, Paper Girls, Y: The Last Man, Runaways, Barrier… his shit’s always good.

Independents / Not Marvel, DC, or Image

Some of these are nostalgia-based, so fair warning.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BOOM Studios) - very new series that’s out. Great art. If you were a fan of the show, I think you’ll like it. It’s a re-imagining of sorts. There’s also an Angel series that just started.

Nancy Drew (Dynamite) - Listen… I could not stand Nancy Drew as a kid. Never got into it and thought it was boring as hell. But I really loved this miniseries (another Kelly Thompson run). It’s maybe 5 issues?

Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers and Go Go Power Rangers (BOOM Studios) - Honest to God, if you had told me 3 years ago one of my fave comics would be a Power Rangers one, I would have laughed in your face. Both of these series are really good and provide the continuity, nuance, and characterization the show lacked. Fan of the show or not, I’d say it’s worth checking out if you enjoy the teenage superhero genre. Also, just some really amazing art and world-building.

Anything from Jinxworld - This is Bendis’ own publishing company. He’s put out Cover, Pearl, Scarlet, and United States vs. Murder, Inc. All of them are really good.

Umbrella Academy (Dark Horse) - This is the series the Netflix show is based off of. Right now, they’re doing Hotel Oblivion in the comics, but start with Apocalypse Suite and Dallas.

So, there you go anon. There are FAR more I would recommend, but I tried to give a good range of books for you to choose from without (hopefully) overwhelming you. And if you have any questions, I’m more than happy to talk about any of them.

[yeehaw-sphnix-blog]

!!!!!!!

sksks im so fucking dull and boring so this isn't gonna be interesting

tagged by @iffy-outlaw (ive never been tagged with like questions or anything so likkke HHHH)

rules: answer 21 questions and tag 21 people you want to get to know better

nickname: i really don't have one. my name is keirah. everyone calls me keirah for the most part unless they don't so.

height: 5'5 or 5'6 maybe? somewhere around there.

last movie i saw: good will hunting w/ robin williams and matt damon jEsuS fuck is that a phenomenal movie

favorite artists: green day, the doors, the beatles, tool, placebo, pearl jam, twenty one pilots, muse, chris cornell, jack white, michael jackson, and many, many others. trust me.

song stuck in my head: lakini's juice by live

do i get asks: never lol

other blogs: i have an old shit one floating around this website somewhere but i don't remember the name. besides that, this is my only account.

following: maybe 80 or something i don't remember. i dont like following too many people. going through my tumblr everyday is a fucking pain and takes me like an hour.

amount of sleep: no exact number but all i know for sure is that its definitely not consistent.

lucky number: 111 idk why. always pops up in my life at the right time it seems. if that makes any sense.

what i'm wearing: an x-men t-shirt and some panic at the disco pajama pants. im a fucking child i know.

dream job: im not entirely sure yet. ive always wanted to pursue a career in the arts but im not very good at like music or drawing or anything like that. i would call myself creative, i know i have the potential to do those things im just lazy and unskilled. maybe music. but i also really enjoy writing, science, psychology, that sort of thing. i honestly have no idea. right now i just kinda wanna work at a subway. idk why. seems like a good job. i like sandwiches.

fav food: im a vaccum cleaner ill eat pretty much anything but i really like steak, italian food, anything that's awful for me pretty much.

dream trip: i've always realllly really really wanted to go to ireland. take my family there, be able to see all the structures and shit. if i had it my way id go literally every place i could in the world (as an american). i also would love to go to florida again. idk why i just love really humid, hot, gross, sticky weather. if its so humid that i stop breathing for a second then i am pleased. maybe go to new zealand, germany, and egypt one day too idk.

do you play any instruments: i play concert percussion. im not good. i mean i kinda am. i can sorta play bass guitar but like thats it.

languages: obviously english and a little conversational german.

favorite song: i have too fucking many. thats a post in itself. one that comes to mind rn is scared of girls by placebo.

random fact: there was this one time in 4th grade where we had to run around our gymnasium like 28 times in under 12 minutes (i think 28 laps was equivalent to mile) and i did and i got on the top runners list and i was really proud of myself and i have never gotten any sort of achievement for athletically excelling in something since then so that says alot about me.

describe yourself as aesthetic things: (i tried my best i apologize) humid rainy days, brightly painted mexican restaurants that you see in really shitty parts of neighborhoods (you know what i am talking about), the smell of antique stores, bustling big cities at night, shitty gas station coffee, a blanket that just came out of the dryer, the sound of someone screaming "i wanna big titty goth girlfriend" in an echoey cavern, itchy cooch, and sore kneecaps

im really sorry i cant take things seriously✌️🤠

that was alot of fun actually. also not gonna tag 21 people because not to be rude but i don't think there are 21 people on this app that i want to know more about and i don't wanna seem annoying so ill only tag a couple. plus i only know like 2 people so.. heh👊👊 sorry for breaking the rules not lol rules are for quitters and also sorry to bother the 4 people i tagged i apologize forgive me for my sins i hate inconveniencing people ok gBYe

@pollypocketlizard @basicallyreece @ohorthur @mailordercowboy

[intheclique]

CLIQUE talks ‘Life in Lock-down...’

100 days +

What would you do in 100 days.

Read a couple books.

Learn a new skill.

Play those games you never got around to play.

You see; lock-down downs been tough.

It’s been really tough,

It’s sucked almost at times.

But we’re slowly about to see light at the end of the tunnel.

It’s true; it has affected many people from all backgrounds, so we thought we’d put together a small selection of in depth ‘look intos’ how lock-down has affected each and everyone one of us in a small way.

It’s no surprise but we’ve actually been in lock-down for more then 100 days.

Some still self-isolating.

Others working all the way through.

But what has like really been like during lock-down.

Has it really been all sunshine and rainbows.

Has it had a long lasting affect mentally, physically or emotionally.

How hard has lock-down hit you?

You see, everyone’s story is different.

Everyone has a different path to follow and tale to tell.

So this week we caught up with three separate individuals and asked them all the same set of questions.

Let’s see how lock-down life has affected those in different backgrounds.

This week we talked to,

NHS Nurse Sally Dunn who has a family, worked throughout the pandemic, and continues to push on through day-to-day life, all whilst keeping a proud smile, and keeping the family life in motion.

Full time Chemistry Student Matthew Plews, a young man with great ambition, all-round nice guy, who’s not only working full-time part time, he has a passion for baking and music to ease him through the day-to-day life.

Full time Editor in chief (and our friends at Hinton Magazine) Curtis Hinton, magazine editor, football enthusiast, and all round gent who loves a gin or two.

How has lock-down and Covid-19 affected each person, and where do we move forward in the coming months.

Find below our little Q n A.

Answers in order.

CLIQUE

Q. How you been handling lock-down?

Sally - Better than I thought I would. Felt guilt at times that I haven’t been productive like walking enough or home schooling good enough. I’m not great at sitting and relaxing so it’s kind of forced me to do it!

Matthew -  Now that it’s been lifted a little bit, where you can see people I’ve been fine, however at the beginning it was a bit of a struggle as I’m always kept busy, kind of felt lost.

Curtis - I think I’ve been one of the very few people that it hasn’t really affected. A Lot of people that I’ve spoken to have said they have found it tough, they been affected by their mental health during this time. Whereas for me personally I don’t feel like it had affected me.

Q. Did you have to self-isolate?

Sally -  No.

Matthew - No, but I was very weary of going places as my mam and sister are classed as vulnerable.

Curtis -  I did yes, I has symptoms quite early on so I self isolated for 14 days.

Q. What’s your current job?

Sally -  Neonatal nurse

Matthew -  Waiter

Curtis -  I am a business owner

Q. Enjoy it? Or this a stepping stone for something else?

Sally -  Love it. My job for life

Matthew - Not really, I should have been in Ibiza working now, I still don’t want to go back and I’ve been looking for something else

Curtis -  Without a doubt it’s the best job I’ve ever had. There is always something to keep me busy. The business I own, owns a few business including a magazine.

Q. Do you think lock-downs been good for your health?

Sally -  Mental health yes, I’ve been almost forced to make time for me to relax! physical health no, I’ve eaten too much and put too much weight on.

Matthew - Not really, used to going to the gym every day, being out and about to literally doing nothing. Also those zoom quizzes, sat getting drunk with my pals in my room certainly didn’t help my liver lol...

Curtis - Yes, even though I have been very busy, I have still taken time to think about things, Slightly re-evaluate how the future might look and used some spare time to develop some personal skills. 

Q. Have you still been able to work?

Sally -  Yes, I’m a nurse, work carries on regardless for a nurse!

Matthew -   No, however I did have uni work to finish off for a few months. Since that’s been over with I’ve had nothing to do.

Curtis - Thankfully, yes I have. I have set up a home office, so even when I was self-isolating I was managing to work.

If *YES* elaborate.  If *NO* again you could elaborate why not.

Q. How long have you been in lock-down?

Sally -  Since March 16th.

Matthew -  Since BoJo said so, like 105 days maybe?

Curtis - From the moment the government announced it, which I believe was 23rd March, Limiting my visits to shops and going out side of my home.

Q. How has it affected you or your family life?

Sally -  My children miss their friends, their activities such as dancing and swimming. I’ve not been able to see my family - especially my dad, and that’s been awful. My husband’s family is in Birmingham and he hasn’t seen them for months. I couldn’t see my eldest daughter for ages and that was really hard.

Matthew - I live with my mam and sister, we argued a bit at the beginning but gradually got used to it. My mam was even sitting watching Netflix in the car, telling me she was getting shopping for my grandma.

Curtis - I think personally for me this lock-down has been great. It’s given me a lot more time to myself. More time to think about things and to advance some skills and certainly advance something with my business. I went back to the family home for the lock-down so I wasn’t completely alone throughout this time which has been nice. 

Q. Has lock-down affected your relationship? If applicable?

Sally -  We’ve spent more time together so it’s been good.

Matthew - n/a

Curtis - n/a

Q. Do you think there will be a second wave?

Sally -  I think so. I hope not but I think it will.

Matthew -  Not any time soon (hopefully.)

Curtis - Almost certainly, but I don’t think there will be another nationwide lock-down. Although peoples health should always be number one priority – you have to think about the other affects the lock down has, for example on the economy which the fall out from all of this could affect peoples health just as much as the virus. 

Q. Have you learned any new skills in lock-down?

Sally -  Yes! I can now crochet!

Matthew -  I’ve been trying all sorts! Started off learning how to knit, I’ve been growing loads of plants (including and avocado tree), been baking a lot more and cooking for family. I did try hairdressing once I couldn’t cope with the lock-down length anymore, but I don’t recommend going near your hair with clippers when you’re not trained ha ha.

Curtis -  Yes, I have been reading a lot more. Also developing my knowledge in different areas.

Q. What has lock-down taught you? Any lessons?

Sally -  Appreciate the little things. Money is important but time is more precious and what you do with it is special.

Matthew - It has taught me to be grateful for what you have. Like even just seeing friends (not just over facetime) now after like a 3 month it’s been great. Like appreciating like spending time with people because it’s mad how quick everything can just go. It’s also taught me you don’t need to go to the pub every weekend because believe it or not, you CAN actually stay in (all it has taken me to realize was a deadly virus)

Curtis - It’s taught me life is way to short. Don’t be wasting any moments. After speaking to friends I think a lot of people have financially been affected by this lock-down – even with furlough. Hopefully this is a wake up call, people will hopefully see where they are wasting money and invest it in themselves more, whether that be on their education, on their business or even something like travelling. 

Q. Do you think lock-down has been good for everyone?

Sally -  No. My dad has been shielding and he misses us all terribly. Those living alone and those furloughed or have lost jobs have had tough times.

Matthew -   Not really. Personally I’ve been trying to think of positives, like saving money and appreciating people, but from a mental health point of view I feel like it will have a big impact on people.

Curtis - It depends on how each individual views their times in lock-down. I think everyone should take a moment to assess their lock down and to see if they were truly happy with what they have done during their 13/14 weeks at home. If not then they need to make a change ASAP. Chances like this don’t come around often. 

Q. Do you think the Government handle lock-down well?

Sally -  I’m not sure what I’d have done differently, maybe not lifted restrictions so early, but it’s an unprecedented situation and everyone was learning as they went along, including government. Hindsight is a ‘wonderful’ thing. We can all say they should’ve done this, would’ve done that, could’ve done this, but it might not have changed the outcome.

Matthew -   A. Definitely not, fuck the Tories!

Curtis - Yes, They is WAY to much negativity around the ways the government has handled this lock-down. People need to understand compared to the rest of Europe England and the UK are such a different country. The behavior of a small minority in this country are the ones who have failed us. Those who broke lock-down laws those are the ones who have spread it to someone going out once a week to their food shop. I think Boris (even with him getting the virus himself) and his team have done a phenomenal job and if there was another pandemic, I would be more than happy if they were to lead us through it. 

Q. Do you think the population handled lock-down well?

Sally -  Some of us! Some people have been daft and put lives at risk, riots, mass gatherings, ignoring rules. All put lives at risk.

Matthew -  No. Everyone’s just been so angry about everything. I honestly think its brought out the worst in people, especially the “lock-down police” aka those saddos taking pictures of people that have left the house and shaming them on social media. Get a life man.

Curtis -  99.9% Yes, there is a small minority who didn’t listen putting a majority at risk and they should be made to pay.

Q. Highlights of your lock-down?

Sally -  Spending more time with the kids. My 40th birthday has been during lock down and I feel it was made more special.

Matthew -  Weekly quizzes with the crew, low key sad they’ve died out but glad I can see them in real life now.

Curtis -  Self-development.

Q. Do you think there will be many lock-down babies?

Sally -  Not sure, maybe. But maybe not the ones that are result of drunken nights on the town!

Matthew - Can you get pregnant from a social distance?? lol

Curtis -  Maybe, I think many have been affected by mental health and wont bee feeling frisky after the first couple of weeks.

Q. Anything else you’d like to add with your experience of Cv-19?

Sally -  I wish I’d kept a diary since the start of lock-down. COVID19 will be in the history books, we are part of this history.

Matthew -  Ms Rona has taught me to look for the good in bad situations. Everything is out of your control so there’s no point stressing, just play your part and be sensible. And finally, keep stocked up on bog roll so you don’t have to fight Karen for it next time the world comes to an end lol.

Curtis -  I just want to thank everyone is the country who listened to guidelines. The people of Britain is what makes us great, that includes Health workers, all key workers and to the government officials. We are nowhere near through this pandemic yet and no end is in sight. I hope people just stay sensible and stay safe.

Thanks again everyone.

If you wish to make a charitable donation to the NHS find a link below.

CLIQUE.

https://www.nhscharitiestogether.co.uk/

[oddsnendsfanfics]

Dirty Laundry

Genre: Fan Fiction Pairing: Jai Courtney/OFC (Roo) Warnings: Language Rating: PG13 Length: Short Story Disclaimer: a strict work of fiction, I own nothing except the original characters and the plot line. In no way am I affiliated to any of it.

A/N: I can’t wait for everyone to see what I have planned for these two :D

Read:  I’m a Walking Travesty & Mother Knows Best

"Honey is there any answer to that?" Jai asked leaning forward in his seat to look at her closer. His hands were folded and resting on his knees, his brow raised and his eyes digging a hole in her.

Only she knew why he was here.

Sitting on the cliche leather sofa, in the not cliche brightly painted office, she pursed her lips and wrinkled her nose.

"I wanted Jai to be here, because in all honesty we have a lot of unresolved issues." She bit her bottom lip. There were no need for nerves, yet here they were. "It's not fair to either of us, if we can't safely open up and discuss who and what we are."

"Well that certainly sounds fair." The smart dressed, silvering haired lady spoke from the chair a few feet away.

Upon meeting Doctor Wendy Todd; Jai immediately liked her. She wasn't cold or off putting like he had imagined a therapist to be. On the contrary, she had been rather welcoming in her tone and manners. Her office overlooked a freshly manicured park and the large windows, allowing in floods of sunlight, did wonders for the atmosphere.

"And how does being here sit with you?"

Jai appreciated the way she was wording her questions. A little less formal than he had imagined them to be as well.

"I'm honestly up for whatever she wants. I was a little shy about it, but if it is going to help us and if it is important to her, then I'm here." Jai answered with the most honesty he had given to anybody in weeks.

When she had asked him to come to this therapy session, Jai had been hesitant, never the less he had given in and here they were.

They had been getting ready to go their separate ways for bed one evening, last week, when she had lingered outside of his room a little longer than she usually did when saying goodnight. Jai had mentioned the two of them needing an evening out, when she gathered the courage. The question had been precise when she'd asked, adding that if he didn't want to then there would be no hard feelings.

"Are you sure? Therapy? You want me to come with you?" Jai rubbed his hands over his face.

"Look, it isn't my idea of a date either, but it would mean a lot to me." She pressed the palms of her hands into his chest. The hair that adorned his chest was ticklish under her touch. "If you don't want to, I'm not going to be offended."

"Babe, it isn't that I don't want to go." Jai sighed, his arms loosely resting around her waist. "I'll go, but I want to make sure it isn't going to disrupt anything."

"Disrupt? No, Boomer." She smiled sweetly. "If anything this is going to help us. We need to talk and we need to air things out. This is going to be good. I promise."

"Let me know the time and day, I'll see you there."

"Really?" The look she wore was shock and appreciation.

"Of course! I want to do this right." Jai kissed the tip of her nose. Wincing when he realized his actions. Mumbling a quick apology. Affection had been limited, upon the view that it could hinder any clear decision she was to make on their relationship. Jai was a little unclear on that rule, seeing as she didn't mind the intimacy the three times they'd had sex.

"It's fine. Honestly." She shrugged it off. "Thank you."

Making a few more notes on her paper, Dr. Todd furrowed her brow before speaking. "The two of you have known one another a rather long time. Do you often give in so easily, Jai?"

"Uh, well." Jai rubbed the back of his neck. "I guess I've learned that it is easier to give in, than to argue."

"Yet we still manage to fight." She rolled her eyes.

"Not entirely my fault, Roo." Jai shot back, earning a scoff.

"Why is it, do you think, you fight so often?" Dr. Todd looked directly at her.

This was going to be interesting. Jai often wondered that himself, but never dare asked for fear of the outburst.

Nervously chewing the inside of her cheek, she sat frozen on the spot, wishing this question had been for Jai. Not that he'd have a valid answer, it was him who rarely started the fights and they both knew it.

The best, logical, reason she could come up with was also one of the lamest sounded excuses she could ever imagine. When people were in love, they argued and fought, it was some sort of unwritten rule. She had never argued or fought with anybody as much as Jai. Surely that wasn't love. If it was then love felt a lot like aggravation and desperation.

Much to her surprise, Jai jumped in, his voice confident in his words.

"I try to fix things and I shouldn't. It's not my job to fix people or life." Jai admitted his downfall. "I don't like feeling helpless, while those around me fall, it's torture. It starts a lot of arguments, between us."

"I..." She paused, silently thanking him for stepping up to the plate, although it wasn't entirely Jai's fault. "I don't know when to walk away. Instead of walking away and cooling off, I speak before I think. In doing so, often times, I say a lot of hurtful things in the heat of the moment."

Jotting down a moments worth of notes, Dr. Todd placed her pen on top of her notepad and offered a small, yet somehow comforting smile. "And we can deal with this. I can give you both some pointers in how to pull back and defuse an escalation."

Intently, Jai listened to everything that was being given. Dr. Todd talked about taking time out, allowing things to flow as they naturally would, without interruption or Jai trying to control the actions. The therapist went on to elaborate about taking time out, even if only for a few seconds, before saying the first thing to mind. If they could utilize even a fraction of these methods, their arguments may, in time, become less frequent.

On the sofa next to him, Jai watched as she nodded intently, taking in everything the therapist was saying. Her brow was creased in concentration, as she hummed in reply to the details of a small exercise, which Dr. Tood felt useful to their situation.

If these tools worked, there may be a glimmer of hope somewhere.

"If I were to ask you: What are you to one another? What would my answer be?" Dr. Tood slowly shifted the subject to the next issue on tap.

The million dollar question.

No doubt, in Jai's mind that she was his partner. Girlfriend, lover, whatever other word could be used for two adults in a sexual, somewhat loving, relationship. The real mystery was what was he to her?

"She's my best friend. No doubt there." Jai answered first. "I'd like to go as far and say she's my girlfriend, maybe not right now, but before. She was certainly more than just a friend."

"You're saying, Jai, that you are in deed in a relationship?"

"What else would it be? We shared a bed, a home, a life for months. If she weren't my girlfriend, my partner, then that is one hell of a friendship." Jai chuckled, trying to loosen things up a little. "I want us to work, I've had other girlfriends and frankly, I can't imagine not having her."

Dry mouth, she rubbed her hands against her legs, her dress bunching under her hands.

"Why label it?"

"Why not? Look, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to figure this, us out, but I need to know what it is you want. You've known what it is that I want." Jai replied, his jaw set and his eyes locked on a spot on the wall. It was easier not to look at her, to avoid all eye contact.

"I think that is a very fair thing to ask." Dr. Todd nodded toward her, encouraging her to go on.

Resisting an eye roll, she moved around nervously in her seat. This was much easier when the sessions consisted of her talking and Dr. Todd asking the odd, random, yet relevant question. Having Jai here was almost stressing, but she had asked him to be here and now they had to finish this.

"I don't know." She shrugged. "There, are you happy?" She turned to look at Jai. "I don't know. I just...I know that when things like this have a label it feels constricting, like a final commitment of sorts."

"You've talked about this with me before, what's changed since then?" Under the gaze of the therapist, Jai could almost watch her shrink. Never had he seen her do that under any circumstance.

"Doubt, mostly in me." She added with a small voice. Picking at her newly painted nails, it took her a second to find the right words to continue. "It's not like I don't know how to be loved, my parents were phenomenal at that. In some way, after everything that has gone wrong, I guess I don't feel that I deserve it. If things are good, then it is only a matter of time before they go sour. If I keep part of me from others, then there is no hurt."

Coming home to find her stuff moved in, her own chair next to the fire pit, had been nice. Jai had been thrilled that she was putting forth the effort to be with him, to be more than a ghost in his home. Until today, until this very appointment, they hadn't come close to an argument or bickering once. Maybe that had been because neither one had been pushed to the point where they had to snap?

Things had been going good for them, hearing her say that when things went good, they would only turn bad had been hurtful. Jai wasn't out to hurt her.

Before Jai could react, the therapist swooped in. Her voice was calm and relaxed, much nicer than he would have been.

"You're very well loved, we've discussed that. We've also talked about intimacy issues, why don't we take a look at that again? Hmm? You've said it yourself that you don't feel you deserve love. Why not?"

"Have you met me?" She tried her hardest not to get snippy. "Every person I ever love, for any reasons, leaves. Or they fuck off when I need them the most. Before we can start saying Jai's different, or he won't do that, it's bullshit. We can't predict the future. Why get involved and stuck, when chances are it won't last anyway?"

"I think that is a valid thing to say. We are here, after all, to talk about this and if that is an issue then I think we should explore it." Dr. Todd offered, casting a glance at Jai. Nodding in reply, Jai let the expert do what was needed. "Now, we know Jai obviously has feelings for you, he's expressed that. Somewhere, a part of you may respond to those?"

"I guess." She shrugged, her gaze failing to lift from the spot on the wall. "Sure."

"Good." Dr. Todd took a couple of notes, while talking. "At any time, has Jai ever given you a reason to doubt his feelings? Or his commitment? Has there been a time where he has truly shown you that he may not want to be with you, in the ways he says?"

Jai had never given her reason to doubt him. She could say that their relationship had progressed, beyond friends, while he was still seeing someone but on the flip side she'd also been with someone else. If she brought Meredith into this, then Jai would throw Dan at her, and away they went. If they could keep the verbal clawing to a minimal then she would be happier.

There were no incidents that came to mind. Jai had never given her a reason to fully doubt him, his commitment, or his love. There had been times when he was a pain in the ass, but she was doubtful those would count.

"Well there was...I mean...I don't...He..." She sighed, rubbing her hands against her cheeks. "No. No, he's never...We fight, but...If we're going to be together, I need to know this is serious." She stated, her eyes locking on his. "I've seen your version of serious."

Derailed from the question, without an answer, she had lashed out. It wasn't right, a prime example of speaking before thinking. Inhaling deeply, Jai was in no position to judge, speaking before his brain engaged.

"Felt pretty serious to me last week, when you were in my bed." He muttered, a casual shrug to follow. "Or last night, when you were licking my a..."

"Jai!" She huffed pinching the bridge of her nose. "Sex and relationship really aren't the same. See! This is what I mean, when I try to be serious, you make a comment like that."

"How so?" Doctor Todd cut in. "How are sex and relationship not the same?"

"Well," She paused, sitting straighter. "sex is two consenting adults releasing an urge, why not do that with someone you're familiar with? Relationship is being involved with one another in every aspect."

"But for a lot of people, sex is more than an urge. For some, sex only comes from being in a relationship." Jai added feeling a little unsure of his view. "You share things, deeply, with that person and sex is a result. The ultimate way of showing everything."

"Because you've been in love with every woman you've ever had sex with?" She rolled her eyes. Doubtful.

"No, I haven't been. But as you said, people have urges." Jai's tone was flat. Why was this so fucking hard for her? "Since we've been together, I've never strayed away from that. I've been faithful and you know that."

"Like I haven't been? Is that what you're saying?' Her eyes narrowed into a cold glare.

"I didn't say that. I know you have been. But, there was a little doubt, after you left." Jai's tone was flat.

"I left, because you told me to." She snapped, scoffing loudly.

Here is was – the blow up. Jai could feel the tension mounting, waiting to erupt into something that neither one of them could get out of.

"I can't change what I said, but I do think this break has been good."

Her living with Miles, had been great for her and Jai. Him working in Adelaide, seeing each other for a handful of days or more, was perfect. Their separate vacations to opposite ends of the country had worked out to be amazing. Jai was sure of it.

"How? How has this been a good thing?" Dr. Todd cut in.

"She left, because she needed her space. I'm fine with that, it's what she needed. Maybe, what I needed was to see this side of her. I was so clouded with how I wanted to be with her; I couldn't see the downside."

"What's the downside?" Dr. Todd gently pushed.

"How selfish and uncaring she can be. She worries about herself, nobody else. I can take it, but Denzi was heart broken."

"Denzi is your son?" the older woman clarified.

Jai nodded. "He moped about for days waiting. Eventually, we had to get that damn dog, because I didn't know what else to do." Jai confessed. Seeing his son in such a state had ripped his heart out, every damn day, Denzi asked for her it was absolutely crushing. "Denzi loves you as much as I do; but you run away, I can't have my son depressed because of your selfish choices. Some day, I want you to be his mum but you can't be his mum if you're leaving him all the time."

"Do you have anything to say?" Dr. Todd directed the question to the teary eyed woman on the sofa.

"You push and push, what was I to do? I didn't want to leave, but to save us from a lot of problems, I did. I want to work this out. I do, whether you see this or not." She sniffled quietly. Her heart sank as she felt Jai's stare go through her. Nothing she could say in this moment would look sincere, why bother?

"And you still may be able to." Dr. Todd handed her a tissue. "Not today, but we can continue to work on this, if Jai is willing?"

"Anything." Jai agreed, swallowing the lump in his throat. "I do love you. I push you, because I know you can do better, you can be better. You're the best damn person I know, it's about time you realized that too."

[closetofanxiety]

50 wrestling questions

I answer these burning questions here, below the cut:

1. What got you into wrestling?

I don’t really know. I’ve gone through three phases of being a wrestling fan in my life. The earliest was probably just because all the other kids in the neighborhood liked wrestling, and I was a people-pleaser even then, so I wanted to fit in. I remember the older kids like AWA or NWA because they were “real,” while us littl’uns thrilled to the exploits of Hulkster Hogan in the WWF. I like nothing else that I enjoyed as a child, not the movies or the TV shows or the books or whatever, so there was something about wrestling that stuck with me.

2. What is your favorite wrestling promotion?

ECW, if I’m being honest. A lot of that stuff has not held up well, but I got into it at the perfect age, when a lot of my friends were getting into it, and I have very fond memories bound up with ECW. For better and for worse, the most influential American wrestling company of the last 30 years. 

3. Favorite male wrestler of all time?

Gorgeous George, but if we’re talking about people who were alive when I was alive, then Dusty Rhodes. 

4. Favorite female wrestler of all time?

The Fabulous Moo- no. I don’t know. I don’t have the background in Japanese grappling that would allow me to make an informed answer here. Women’s wrestling in the USA was pretty terrible between the mid-1950s and the mid-2000s, and I mostly know American stuff. Let’s say Gail Kim, though.

5. Favorite current male wrestler?

Joey Janela

6. Favorite current female wrestler?

Su Yung, obvs

7. Favorite theme song?

"Psycho Killer,” when that was Ciampa’s theme song. One of my favorite wrestling memories is Americanrana ‘16, when the PA system died and the crowd sang the song a capella for his entrance. If we’re talking songs written specifically as wrestling entrance music, then Steve Austin’s music. With Shawn Michael’s “Sexy Sexy Boy Ooh La La” or whatever it’s called as a close second. That song makes me laugh every time I hear it.

8. Least favorite theme song?

I hated Ballz Mahoney’s ECW theme song, it just encouraged the worst meathead elements of the crowd, and it always heralded a crummy match. For wrestling-specific theme songs, Lana’s, while new, is almost unbelievably shitty. It’s like incidental music from an episode of “Night Court” where they go to a jazz club.

9. Favorite gimmick?

Gorgeous George, which is still being imitated to this day. Again, if we’re talking about people who were alive when I was alive, the Road Warriors. They were almost 100 percent gimmick, and they were massive stars for years. They were the only non-WWF guys us WWF-loving kids would buy action figures for, because their look was so good.

10. Least favorite gimmick?

It’s hard to choose from all the racist and gay-hating gimmicks that have been used over the years. By sullying the image of the immortal Prince Rogers Nelson, fucking Velveteen Dream is making an impressive run for this designation right now.

11. Best entrance (either their usual entrance or a special one, like a Wrestlemania entrance)?

Again, Gorgeous George had the best entrance of all time, it was 70 percent of his act and it made him a fortune, and everyone has copied it since. In terms of more recent stuff, I liked the Sandman’s entrance. It was 90 percent of his act. Pretty much everything Sandman did except his entrance was so-so to terrible, if we’re being honest.

12. Best Undertaker Wrestlemania match?

The one where he got his ass beat by the savage god Roman Reigns

13. Most overrated?

The Undertaker. I acknowledge that he made a massive, unthinkable success out of a truly ludicrous, sub-Memphian gimmick, but he was never a real draw, and I was never a big fan of his at any point in his career. Maybe no one in WWE history benefited more from protective booking, where he was always billed as an unstoppable, supernatural monster even when he had a mid-life crisis and decided he wanted to be a motorcycle man instead. 

14. Most underrated?

Pretty much anyone who had their entire careers, or the bulk of their careers, prior to the 1980s and the attendant explosion in wrestling’s popularity. It’s hard to properly rate someone like Nick Bockwinkel, when so much of his best work was done in the 1970s, let alone Gorgeous George or Buddy Rogers. Of guys since then, I’ll say Ted DiBiase, who is fixed in the public mind as the cackling rich guy caricature, but who was a phenomenally talented wrestler who could effortlessly pull off being a charismatic babyface or a cheating, despicable shitheel. Ted’s Mid-South run is amazingly good stuff.

15. Have you ever been to an event? If so, which one?

I have been to many pro wrestling shows. Last year I averaged three per month, which is, I’ll have you know, Too Much Wrestling Shows. My mother took me to my very first one, and since she died when I was five, I must have been very young indeed. I remember almost nothing about it, except that Bob Backlund was there.

Since then, I’ve been to a lot of ECW shows, including the 2000 Living Dangerously PPV with the famously hideous New Jack scaffold bump; many WWE shows, ranging from Raw and Smackdown episodes to house shows to Backlash 2003, where Goldberg met the Rock in the ring FOR THE FIRST TIME ANYWHERE; and lots and lots of indie shows, which are my favorite. I’ve sort of limited my show-going this year to Beyond Wrestling, Blitzkrieg Pro, and Northeast Wrestling, and I don’t go to all of their shows. 

In the late 1990s and early 2000s I used to go to shows with big crews of friends, but these days it’s usually me and one or two other people, or sometimes just me. It turns out most people my age are not down to drive to West Warwick, R.I. to see Zack Sabre Jr vs. JT Dunn! I enjoy it, though, it’s been a nice thing to have in my life at a time when there isn’t much else going on.

16. Who has the best merch?

The Young Bucks have something for every aesthetic.

17. Do you own any merch?

Yeah, I mean, too much. T-shirts, 8 x 10s, DVDS, loads of old wrestling magazines. I have a Young Bucks foam “Too Sweet” hand. I have a little plaster sculpture of AJ Lee where she’s a zombie, because WWE Shop was selling it for five dollars. I’m a disgrace, as a grown adult man.

18. Best nickname?

"The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes.

19. Worst nickname?

I’ve always thought “The Cerebral Assassin” was the dumbest goddamn nickname. Is the assumption here that assassins are typically stupid?

20. Best mic skills?

Bobby Heenan. He could do screaming and angry, he could do calm and menacing, he could do blustering and funny. He had the timing of a professional comedian and the verbal dexterity of the Midwest’s best used car salesman. People hated this man so much that a member of a Chicago crowd shot a pistol at him. 

21. Most annoying?

All-time: The Ultimate Warrior. Currently: Bray Wyatt.

22. Most attractive male?

Roman Reigns. The WWE is leaving money on the table by having him wrestling in a shirt/vest and long pants.

23. Most attractive female?

I really like Hikaru Shida’s complex aesthetic, which combines “hard-hitting Japanese wrestling” with “elaborate theatrical strangeness” and “Hey, check out my ass.” 

24. Favorite faction?

The first two incarnations of the Four Horsemen. If pressed, I prefer the Flair/Arn/Tully/Windham lineup. 

25. Worst faction?

It’s easy to pick one of the five million here-and-gone WWE factions like the Union (ugh) or the Social Outcasts or the League of Nations, but they didn’t really last long enough, or have enough of an impact, to be truly wretched. Same deal with, like, the Aces & Eights: they just stunk up TNA, which was already bad to begin with. The answer is the nWo, from January, 1998 onwards: until that point they had been the most compelling thing about American wrestling, but after that they became a bloated, tedious, airtime-gobbling monstrosity that helped drag WCW down into depths it never recovered from. 

26. Best ring gear?

Su Yung and Penta El Zero Miedo. I like the spooky stuff.

27. Who do you think would be the nicest in real life?

I’ve had very few interactions with wrestlers beyond the standard “Hey, great match, how much is that DVD,” but among those I have had more substantive encounters with, JT Dunn, Swoggle, Gangrel, Su Yung, and Santana Garrett stand out as particularly nice. I’ve also heard people from all walks of life praising Little Guido as the nicest dude around, and universal praise is vanishingly rare in pro wrestling. I like to imagine Kevin Owens is a good egg.

28. Who would be the rudest in real life?

Like anyone else, I’ve Heard Things, but I haven’t had a really bad encounter with a wrestler beyond this one guy who works local indie shows and who is a rude chud in real life. It seems unfathomable to me that Matt Riddle is the kind of person I’d want to share a cab ride to the airport with, but maybe that’s just the strength of his brand working. 

29. Favorite heel?

The Dudley Boys in ECW. I legitimately hated them, and bought tickets in the hopes of seeing them get their asses beaten. 

30. Most hardcore?

I bet the real answer to this is like the answer to the great “Who is the most legit tough guy” question that everyone asks. Like, it’s someone we’d never suspect. It’s not Nick Gage, it’s Eva Marie. That woman has seen some shit that would turn your hair white, I bet. I honestly don’t know the answer to this. Probably a guy in Japan who blew himself up in a volcano. 

31. A wrestler you could beat?

At wrestling? Absolutely none of them. Eva Marie would destroy me, Goldberg style. It’s like sports: the worst fucking guy on the worst fucking NBA team would beat the best pickup player in your town by a hundred points in a one-on-one matchup. Once-a-monthers who have office jobs and still wrestle in singlets and are 30 pounds overweight could put me in a coma without breaking a sweat. But what about ... trivia regarding papal history? Ah, now the worm has turned, Eva Marie! You’re on my turf now.

32. Best story line?

Have to agree with Tape Machines, it’s the Freebirds vs. the Von Erichs 

33. Biggest missed opportunity for a story line?

The WCW Invasion angle didn’t work for a lot of reasons, and some of those reasons were probably beyond WWE’s control, but holy shit did they bungle what could have been a gigantic machine that spit out money. 

34. Worst story line?

I can’t pick just one. The 1990s were an absolute golden era of terrible storylines, from Cactus Jack getting amnesia and thinking he was a sea captain to the terrible saga of Katie Vick. I’ll say the Chuck and Billy storyline, because it somehow managed to be insulting to people who had never heard of wrestling in their lives. 

35. Which wrestler should turn heel?

Matt Riddle. I mean, I guess he is a heel, in the sense that his act today is the exact same as it was when he was breaking into the business in 2015 and was hated by indie audiences. He hasn’t done anything differently, but the smug choads from the Internet Wrestling Community have decided he is their savior because they can chant the syllable “bro” in public. 

36. Which wrestler should turn face?

Kevin Owens. I’d love to see what he could do as a fearless asskicker with witheringly sarcastic putdowns on the microphone. 

37. Who would be the worst to room with?

If you’ve ever had close friends or relatives with drug problems, you know the answer to this is Jake Roberts. On a more lighthearted note, sharing an apartment with the Ultimate Warrior would have been a mindbending ordeal, since he was pretty much like that all the time.

38. Who would be the best to room with?

Candice LeRae is a former professional baker, so as a fat guy, I would be very happy to be the person she tests out new cakes and stuff on. But most contemporary wrestlers are people obsessed with the gym, video games, and meal prep, so calibrate your roommate expectations based on those parameters. 

39. Who would be your best friend if you were a wrestler?

I like to imagine it would be Kevin Owens, and I would constantly joke about him betraying me like he always does with best friends, until finally he’d stop responding to my texts. AND THEN I’D KNOW.

40. What would your job be in a wrestling promotion?

I would be styled as “Engagement Director for New & Emerging Media and Content Outreach,” and my job would be taking tickets at the door, applying wristbands to people old enough to drink, and keeping my fucking mouth shut when the wrestlers were hanging around.

41. Favorite wrestling podcast/Youtube channel?

AIW’s “The Card is Going to Change” is the best wrestling podcast in the world. I recommend it to people who don’t even like wrestling, mostly because it’s three dudes telling picaresque tales about restaurants getting trashed and bizarre exploits in northern Ohio. Their recent episode about being paid to put on a show for a child’s 10th birthday is amazing. My favorite wrestling YouTube channel currently is Rassle Reel, which is constantly uploading obscure shit from the 1970s and 1980s.

42. Favorite finisher?

Mr. Perfect’s Perfectplex, a thing of artistic beauty

43. Least favorite finisher?

The Pedigree

44. Favorite match?

Taz vs Sabu at Barely Legal in 1997

45. Favorite PPV?

I’ll always have a soft spot for the first Survivor Series, which is the first PPV I ever watched (we didn’t order it; the neighbors did, and a bunch of us crowded into their den to watch). I don’t know if the first Starrcade was technically a PPV, but that’s one I can watch over and over.

46. Guilty pleasure wrestler?

I don’t like the concept of guilty pleasures, but if we mean which wrestler do I like that some vague critical consensus insists I should hate, I’ll say Honky Tonk Man. 

47. Favorite submission?

THE KATA HA JIME, otherwise known as the Tazmission. 

48. Most entertaining to watch?

Randy Savage

49. Best spot?

Anyone spitting mist into the unsuspecting eyes of their foes 

50. Who do you most respect?

 I respect you, booker man.