#honestly though i would've accepted that i was reading too much into this

[dawntainbobbynash]

I think I missed the "odd choice of words" that you mentioned from 6x01, when talking about the parallels/nod to Bobby being shot. Which one was?

This moment right here:

I know it's just bc Buck was desperate to prove himself worthy of being interim cap, but... choices were made. For one thing, it wasn't a shooting, so calling it that was already hmmmm. But then to have Buck hurrying to take that call over from Bobby like that as well, and to have this be the call where Bobby doesn't stop him from doing it?? What was the reason if not to subtly be like "hey remember that Bobby got shot and we never addressed it"

[hells-wasabii]

Hi could you pretty please do velvette x reader who is Carmilla youngest daughter and how her family reacts (plus zestial pls I ship him and Carmilla so I feel like he's a step dad)❤️

A/N: I blacked out and wrote this.... but yeeees LISTEN!! I love Velvette so much, its not even funny and i had a lot of fun with this prompt! I didn't realize how much i wrote for it until it was too late, and by that point, i really couldn't stop. but I hope you enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it! ps i honestly ship them too

Part 1 | Part 2

Character: Velvette

Type: Headcanons + Drabble (Velvette x reader who's Carmilla's youngest daughter, General with a bit of Angst and Fluff sprinkled in)

For Velvette, she actually entered into the relationship not really knowing who your parents were. You never brought it up and she never really asked. It didn't really matter to her, since, ya know, you're the one she's dating, not your mum and dad, or step-dad from what you've mentioned.

Honestly, she should've seen the similarities. They were there for sure, but let's face it, there are so many demons in hell that it was probably just a coincidence, right?

Carmilla also knew you were seeing someone as well, though she really figured that you would bring this special demon around when you were ready.

Oh, they were both wrong. So very wrong.

They found out simultaneously, of course, as cliche as it was. You were on an evening out with Velvette with no clear destination in mind, just simply enjoying the evening and each other's company when the next thing you knew you were face to face with your mother.

It... didn't go too well.

What had once been a peaceful evening nearly dissolved into a turf war all in an instant. If you hadn't been able to separate the two with a promise to talk to both separately later there was no doubt that everything in a three-block radius would be collateral.

Zestial and your sisters would find out soon thereafter, Carmilla of course telling them when they see her come home looking quite distraught.

As stated before, to Velvette, it really didn't matter. though it did sweeten the deal. It would give her plenty more opportunities for her to provoke the arms dealer, something that she already took a great deal of pleasure in.

Zestial would be skeptical of the relationship at the start but eventually comes to accept it fully. His patience won out this time. He's seen more than enough relationships like this go up in flames and he'd never want that for you. He considered you a daughter after all.

As for your sisters, both of them were simply happy that you were happy. They were more worried about how y'alls mom would react. And you can't tell me that they didn't already know, either.

Carmilla on the other hand... To her, family is everything. I mean, she killed an angel for you and your sisters. She'd do anything for her kids, and that includes keeping someone like that upstart from breaking your heart. She wholeheartedly believed that Velvette was only dating you to get one over on her. It really comes as no surprise when she goes all the way to Vee Tower to confront the youngest overlord herself.

"You need to stay away from my daughter."

The fashionista bit out a curse as a needle pricked her finger. Velvette doesn't usually startle easily, but shit, between her being completely focused on finishing and the fact that her workshop had previously been silent save for any sounds that she had been making herself, she thought that even the most stone-cold bitch would've jumped.

What good was the security for if those nitwits couldn't keep unauthorized demons out of her workshop? The influencer swore that if any blood got on the material for this dress she'd personally kill the guards and whoever-

Oh.

Of all the people she expected to see, Carmilla Carmine, the uptight weapons dealer, and apparent mum of her girlfriend, was not one of them. Or actually, scratch that. She was completely expecting this to happen sooner or later.

"Well, it sucks to suck then, wrinkles, I'm not going nowhere." The fashionista bit back, a smirk settling on her lips that quickly fell when the older woman tried to push her point.

"I know what you're trying to do and it-"

"Obviously you don't." All mischief gone from her tone, Velvette set her work to the side, careful not to crumple the fabric. She rose to her feet and began to cross the room to Carmilla, who in turn stood taller, determined not to let this miscreant make a mockery of her, her family, and most importantly her youngest daughter. "I hate to break it to you, but the only way I'll break it off is if SHE wants to."

Velvette paused, her eyes boring into Carmilla's with a conviction and passion that the arms dealer hadn't felt from the influencer before. When the younger woman spoke again, her voice was softer than before, laced with a sincerity that would leave the mother speechless.

"I love her."

Its this singular interaction that leads to a truce between the two (technically five if you include Zestial and the Vee's) Overlords. They would come to some sort of mutual understanding that if both of them were to be in your life, they'd have to play nice. At least in front of you. At Overlord meetings, well, that's a whole different story.

[itsjustrosee]

hiiii idk really what to call you bc yeah anyways i have a request fir u but feel free to take ur time with it idm at all seeing as ur blog is relatively new and u probably have a bunch of asks and stuff because ur first two fics were absolute masterpieces like literally anyways im rambling im so sorry uh

(u can skip that part) So my request is basically where minho and fem!reader are really good friends and shes like a track-hoe and basically has a really flirty personality so she flirts with all her friends and minho always gets flustered uh or something like that and one time he sees her flirting with idk one of the gladers and he gets jealous thinking that shes dating (said glader) and then she confronts him about it and they kiss and live happily ever after :D

sorry this is super long and confusing dont rush to do it take ur time !!

Ok I'm honestly getting so impressed with these requests, they are so thought out and unique and I'm literally living for it. Btw my name is Rosalyn so feel free to call me that or sometimes I go by rose but address me however you'd like <3 Anyways thank you so much for the request and all of the praise, I appreciate it sm!!

Anyways, this was a super cute prompt idea I absolutely love it, so I hope you enjoy!

JEALOUS (Minho x fem!reader)

Context: pre Thomas, read above for summary ^

Warnings: spice

Word count: 4K

! I proof read but there might still be spelling mistakes !

When you arrived in the glade being a girl, it was quite a surprise for everyone.

Most of the boys tried to be pretty accepting, and after a while, you managed to get along really well with everyone. But if you're being honest, it was all due to your rather, flirty, personality.

That, however, you can't really be blamed for. I mean, you couldn't help it, it was just the way that you were!

It did, however, prove to be a slight problem during your first few months in the glade. You can't blame the rest of the boys for taking your subtle flirty gestures the wrong way, if you were them, you'd probably take the things that you said the wrong way too. So by no means was it their fault for thinking you liked them. But unfortunately, you never reciprocated their feelings, which only confused them more.

Anyways, the first person to understand this was Newt. He was always okay with your overly friendly personality and never actually got the wrong idea from you. That's probably why he became your first friend in the glade, and why when he said you should become a track hoe, you accepted his offer immediately. He, along with the rest of the track hoes' were rather chill and you enjoyed spending time with all of them.

You would consider yourself the closest with them out of all the other people in the glade, so you often hung out with them during the bonfires and dinner. However, you were relatively close with just about every boy in the glade, given your personality, but regardless, you naturally gravitated towards everyone.

It took a couple months for everyone to come to terms with your behavior and rather flirtatious personality, so after about five months, everything was going pretty smoothly. Under the given circumstances and all. Being trapped in a maze was by no means easy, but you were making the most of it. You had developed a good daily routine, and you can only imagine without the structure you and the other gladers had built for themselves, you all would've gone mad by now.

Part of your routine was waking up early. Alby had made Gally and the other builders build you a hut for obvious reasons, and Gally was happy to do it if it meant getting on your good side. You enjoyed the privacy from the rest of the boys but since you had a hut, you had a bed. A bed that was impossible for you to force yourself out of in the morning. After a couple weeks though, you got into the right mindset and started waking up right when the sun started peaking over the maze walls.

You woke up early so you could get a head start with some of the work in the garden. This meant you just spent a bit of extra time plucking out weeds and getting extra fertilizer from the deadheads. You did this to lightly the load that you and the rest of the track hoes' had to do, and you also did it because you just enjoyed being productive.

But one of the secret advantages of waking up early to tend to the garden was seeing the runners leave right when the maze doors opened. You took the brief amount of time they had before leaving to talk to them because they were all very busy people, and getting any opportunity to have a quick chat with them mattered to you. Especially because it meant you got to talk to Minho.

You never admitted it to anyone, but Minho was one of the only boys in the glade that you actually felt attracted to. You couldn't quite understand why, but you always felt drawn to him.

Maybe it was because he was held so high by all the gladers, even though none of them were ever able to talk to him because of how busy his schedule was. He was in the maze all day and when he finally returned from a long day of working to find a way out of the maze for himself and everyone else in the glade, he would be in the maze room. He was working, constantly. Which is why you felt special whenever you had the chance to talk to him. Even if it was just for a couple seconds.

Or maybe you liked him because he still got flustered whenever you talked to him. You would always try to be as respectful towards him as possible, but your flirtatiousness always found a way to shine through. And he seemed to be the only boy who hadn't gotten over how flirty you were, even though every other boy knew that that was just the way you were.

Needless to say, you had a pretty big crush on him, one that you tried your hardest to deny. But you really couldn't help it, which is why you chose to become friends with him. You decided to settle with that because you were sure he wasn't interested in being anything more. Even though Newt often tended to think otherwise.

But you still couldn't help but think that it was just so cute how whenever you talked to him he would fumble over his words, or get as red as the tomatoes you were tending to whenever you even touched him.

However, whenever Minho acted all flustered like this, he would curse at himself relentlessly, wondering why he was as awkward as he was whenever he was near you.

The truth is, he had been down horrendously for you the second Alby pulled you out of the box. At first, he chalked it up to you just being the only girl and well, he couldn't exactly remember the last time he had seen one of those. But as the weeks went on, his feelings for you only deepened. He never saw a point in telling you because every boy who confessed his 'love' to you got rejected. Part of that made him feel glad though because he knew that just about none of the boys in the glade were good enough for you, and he felt happy knowing you would never like any of them. But the downside to that was Minho thinking that he would never have a chance with you.

That never stopped him from wanting to talk to you though. He would purposely make sure to stop by the garden to talk to you before he headed into the maze. Whenever you weren't in the garden, he would check the deadheads to see if you were there. Once he found you, he would make some excuse by saying he was just taking a walk in the woods to clear his head before going into the maze.

He really didn't know why talking to you mattered to him so much, but it just did. And today was no different.

You were nealing down next to garden beds that Gally and some of the others had just built. It was a relatively new addition to the garden and you had just finished filling them with soil and fertilizer yesterday. So you were eager to begin planting some of the last remaining seeds that were sent up from the box into the beds.

You could always tell when a month would pass by when you ran out. The box always sent up a certain amount of seedlings and by the time you ran out, a month would pass and the box would come back up, providing you with another month's worth. So as you planted the last seed in the pouch, you knew that in a few hours, a new greenie would appear from the box, symbolizing the start/ end of yet another month in the glade.

You stood up, dusting off your knees as you congratulated yourself on your wonderful planting skills. But your eyes wandered away from the garden and onto Minho, who was now walking your way. Your heartbeat quickened as you saw him. He arrived slightly earlier than normal because you noticed that you hadn't seen any of the other runners with him, but you also knew it would only be a few minutes until they came to join him.

Minho mentally prepared himself while he walked up to you, telling himself that he was going to be normal today, and he wasn't going to start stuttering like an idiot.

At least that's what he tried telling himself as he approached you, clearing his throat, "Hey (Y/N)," Minho said while resting his hands on that runner's vest he always wore on top of his signature blue shirt which complimented each of the defined muscles on his chest.

"Hi, Minho." You said with a smile on your face that couldn't help but make Minho blush. "What brings you out so early? The maze doors don't open for another five minutes don't they?" You questioned. You had gotten pretty good at telling time around the glade, even without a watch like Minho.

"Oh yeah, I just thought that maybe I'd get over here a little earlier," Minho said with an awkward chuckle as he tried to smile back at you.

"Ah, I see," you said before continuing, "Is it cause you wanted to spend a little extra time talking to me?" You said with a giggle, trying to make a little light-hearted joke as you stared up at Minho with puppy dog eyes.

Minho however, did not take this as a joke. He began blushing, hard. "Oh no that's not why- wait no that's not what I meant. Like I love talking to you but that's not why-" Before Minho could continue to embarrass himself further, you cut him off.

"Minho I was just joking." You said with a laugh, trying your best to reassure him because clearly, he was mentally freaking out. You couldn't get over how cute he was when he was like this. You were always so used to seeing him act serious and stoic in every other situation, but whenever it came to you, he was a mess.

"Yeah- right. Of course." Minho said awkwardly, trying his hardest to laugh off the situation. He felt his cheeks heat up as you continued to look at him for a moment while taking off your gardening gloves. He couldn't help but take the time to admire you and the features on your face while you did so.

You had your hair tied into a loose braid that was slung over your shoulder and onto your chest. His eyes glanced up and down your body to see that you were wearing a pair of low-rise jean shorts paired with a V-neck shirt that clung to your curves and exposed your chest slightly.

You noticed his eyes drift to your chest and laughed silently to yourself but didn't say anything else to him. You normally didn't mind having the boys in the glade stare at you because, at this point, it was to be expected. But you couldn't help but feel butterflies in your stomach as Minho looked at you, and you couldn't help but feel happy that you decided to wear this shirt today.

"If it makes you feel any better, I love talking to you too Minho." You joked, even though you definitely meant it. Your voice broke the slightly awkward silence that had filled the air while you put your hand on his bicep. No matter how many times you've made this gesture toward Minho, it never fails to surprise you with how firm his muscles are. It also never failed to make Minho physically stiffen and make his mind go completely blank.

You absentmindedly began softly rubbing Minho's bicep with your thumb. You were genuinely curious about how he had gotten this strong. Was it all the running he did? Did they have weights in the glade that you just didn't know about? You weren't quite too sure what it was but you were loving it.

You snapped out of your thoughts though as you saw the other runners approaching the garden. You looked back up at Minho with a soft smile as you took your hand off of him, "Well I hope you have a good run today Minho." You said while trying to snap him out of whatever trance you'd unknowingly put him in.

"Thanks," Minho said. At least he didn't stutter while getting that out, but then again, he only said one word. But it was a new record nonetheless.

You greeted the other runners with a smile and a wave while Minho's feet stayed planted in front of you, unable to move.

"We'll meet you at the doors Minho." Ben said as he and the others jogged past you and him, snickering at the whole situation.

You stared at him again for another moment, expecting him to move but something in him couldn't. "You should probably catch up with them right?" You ask him, hoping that you didn't just cause the glades best runner to short-circuit just because you touched his bicep.

"Right, yeah- yeah you're right," Minho said while letting out a soft chuckle.

"Be careful alright? I'll talk to you later." You told Minho as you patted him on the back while he began to walk past you.

"Okay yeah. Talk to you later." Minho said, still very flustered about what had just happened. He was still trying to process it all because even though you had been touchy with him before, it was never like this. There was something very different about it this time. He thought about it for the rest of the day while he was running in the maze, and even when he came back and ate dinner.

While Minho was showering before heading to the bonfire, he couldn't help but wonder if you also felt it, if you also felt the same energy in the air that he felt. Or if he was just overthinking an exchange between the both of you that hadn't even lasted more than five minutes.

The truth was that he wasn't the only one whose mind kept racing back to that moment.

You couldn't stop thinking about it either and it was distracting you this entire day. You didn't know what was so different about it this time, but you could feel something shift between you and Minho during that simple exchange. You brushed it off as much as you could and decided to turn your focus on showing the new greenie around.

He seemed to have taken quite a liking to you and was practically following you around 24/7, which you didn't mind too much. He seemed like a sweet kid who was around your age, behaving toward you the same way every other boy had toward you in the glade at one point or another.

As the day continued, the bonfire began and you found a seat with a group of about ten people, the greenie being one of them. He chose the seat right next to you and after a couple drinks, he had his arm around you. In your eyes, it really wasn't that big a deal. You thought it was sweet that he was opening up so soon, and you had to admit he was pretty funny. You couldn't help but laugh at a lot of his jokes.

But Minho wasn't too big a fan of how the new guy clung to you. While everyone gathered at the bonfire he couldn't help but notice how the very obviously drunk boy, had his arm around your shoulder and it was driving him crazy. He had been hearing whispers from the other gladers about how you were going to start dating him and the mere thought of it made Minho's blood boil. Even though all the comments that had been made about you and the greenie were jokes because everyone knew you well enough to know you were just being friendly, Minho didn't know that.

You were in the middle of a conversation with the new guy and the rest of the group when you spotted Minho walking in your direction. At first, you got excited, you had been waiting to talk to Minho this whole day. But then you looked at him and noticed the stern, almost angry expression he had on his face. Your confusion only grew as he stopped right in front of you, his build towering over you as you stared back up at him.

"Hey, can we talk for a second?" Minho said through gritted teeth. The amount of anger in his voice was prominent, and you couldn't lie, it was kind of hot. Minho was not a hot-headed person, so seeing him be anything other than stoic or flustered was new for you.

"Uh sure, is everything alright?" You ask with genuine concern. You didn't know what could've gotten Minho this angry so you were relatively worried.

"Yeah, it's fine. Just- can you come with me?" Minho said quickly, and it was obvious to you that it, whatever 'it' even was, was not fine. You took Minho's hand anyway as he helped you up from your seat.

Everyone in the group was staring at you, just as confused as you were while you told them you'd be back soon. You shot the greenie a wave and you could've sworn you saw Minho roll his eyes and scoff as you did so.

Minho led you to the edge of the deadheads and stopped by a nearby tree. There was silence between the both of you and you were waiting for Minho to say something. When he didn't, you spoke instead, "So what is this all about?"

Minho crossed his arms as he began to reply, you couldn't help but notice fury in his eyes as he spoke, "I should be asking you that."

"What?" You questioned, slightly dumbfounded and slightly confused by Minho's harsh tone. He'd never spoken to you in such a way, so now you were really racking your brain trying to figure out what you could've done to piss him off so much.

"Oh don't pull that oblivious klunk with me (Y/N)." Minho sneered.

"I'm not acting oblivious, I don't know what you're talking about, seriously." You said while putting your hands up in surrender, and it was the truth, you really didn't know what he was talking about.

"I'm talking about you and the greenie. How you guys were all over each other. Are you dating him or something?" Minho spits out, venom and jealousy lacing his words.

You couldn't help but laugh as he said this but you quickly realized he was being serious. "Wait you're kidding, right? Me and the greenie? No Minho he's just a friend." You said in an attempt to reassure him.

"Well, it didn't look like you were just friends. Not by the way he had his arm around you." Minho blurted out.

"Are you getting jealous Minho?" You asked with a grin on your face. Minho stayed silent for a moment after you asked, so you spoke again, "Why would you care anyway? It's not like you like me like that or anything." Annoyance in your voice this time. Who was he to act so pissed off about it if he didn't even like you?

"Who said I didn't?" Minho questioned while staring dead at you.

Now it was your turn to be silent.

"You like me?" You said as you just stared at Minho for a moment longer, wondering if you had really heard him correctly. A sliver of hope surged through you as you thought of the possibility.

Minho quickly realized what he had just said and just stared at you. Did he really just say that? Why did he just say that? His words got stuck in his throat and he stayed quiet.

"Minho answer my question."

"Yes, okay? Yes, I like you. So what if I do? Are you going to reject me the same way you reject every other boy?" Minho asked with genuine curiosity.

Before you or he could say anything else, you kissed him.

You hadn't even realized how long you had been waiting to kiss Minho ever since you laid your eyes on him. But as your lips merged into his perfectly, it all just felt right.

Minho melted into your touch as you wrapped both of your arms around his neck and he pulled you in as he placed both of his arms around your waist. The kiss you both shared was gentle yet passionate as you fell deeper and deeper into his warm embrace.

You pulled away for a moment to look Minho in the eyes, "I like you too Minho." You said with a warm smile that almost made him pass out. Minho's heart melted as he heard those words come out of your mouth. They were what he'd dreamed you you eventually say to him, and he couldn't think of anything else to do at that moment than to kiss you again.

The kiss between the both of you deepened and only became more sloppy and desperate as if the both of you couldn't get enough of each other. You allowed his tongue to enter your mouth and taste every bit of you. You could tell that he must've had some muscle memory from his life before the maze because he definitely knew what he was doing as his tongue wrestled against yours.

Minho pushed you onto a nearby tree and moved one of his hands from your waist and to your ass. You moaned softly into his mouth as he did so and you pushed yourself into him further, which only caused Minho to harden against you.

"Oh, there you guys are. I assumed you guys got everything settled?" Newt asked as he interrupted you and Minho. You both pulled away for the second time, breathlessly, and stared at him for a moment.

"Oh yeah- everythings um, settled. I guess." Minho said while turning around to face Newt. Newt gave you a look and you just gave a thumbs up and an awkward smile back to him.

"Alright well, I just wanted to let you know (Y/N) that the greenie was wondering where you were," Newt said with a smirk while scratching the back of his head.

"Oh, well- just tell him I'm busy or something." You replied hastily. You had waited long enough to let Minho know how you felt and you wanted nothing more than to turn all of your attention back to him now. Minho looked at you and grinned, obviously very pleased with your response.

"Will do," Newt said as he began to walk away and back up to the bonfire to join everyone else. You blushed as you put your hands up to your face and buried your head into Minho's chest.

"God that was so embarrassing." You said, your words muffled in the fabric of Minho's t-shirt.

"Oh come on there's nothing to be embarrassed about. If anything it's good that that shuckin' greenie'll get the message." Minho cooed as he wrapped one arm around your back and used his other hand to stroke your hair. He planted a kiss on your forehead as you took your hands away from your face and wrapped them around Minho's waist. You looked up at him again with a goofy grin on your face, which only made Minho grin at you back, "What, what is it?" He chuckled.

"You never struck me as the jealous type." You stated while tilting your head slightly before continuing, "Not like there's anything wrong with that though."

Minho only smiled back at you and brought his lips to yours once more, holding you in his arms as if he found the one thing that he wanted to hold onto for the rest of his life.

alright yall here is yet another Minho fic

I hope you guys liked it and tysm @minhoshotharness for the request!! It was so fun to write and I hope that you liked what I did with the concept.

plzplzplzplz keep sending me these requests guys, I literally LOVE writing them

[somewhereincairparavel]

Hazel and Jason's dynamic is SO fucking disappointing now that I'm binge reading the books again. It was so frosty and distant. Jason was literally just mistrusted and "not like what she expected him to be" in 90% of her Hoo POVS it's sad really. I really wish they would bonded properly. So much potential for friendship just down the drain.

Hazel's unwillingness to forgive Jason for suspecting Nico was genuinely pissing me off I'm sorry 😭 like I never thought I'd get mad at Hazel of all people bc she is literally a sweetie, but she's infantilized way too much in the fandom, so her flaws are easily overlooked, but like she literally went all volcano on Jason and held a grudge against him till House of Hades too? Like I get that she worried about her brother and stuff I'd be mad too. But it's the fact that she selectively forgave Leo SO quickly and never even yelled at him (even though he's the one who started the suspicion in the first place even jokingly called nico creepy and stuff behind his back not that I'm trying to fault him or anything I love him)

look I'm not saying it's all Leo's fault or anything, in my opinion, both Jason and Leo were right to suspect nico because of how back and forth nico went from both camps without saying a word and also pretended to not know percy and stuff. So it's realistically shady behaviour from their pov.

But Hazel gets all sweet and soft on Leo because of Sammy and forgives him in a heartbeat, tbh tho she never really directed her anger on Leo in the first place so there was nothing to forgive. But when Jason apologizes, she gets all cold and frosty like accepting his genuine apology is the hardest thing she has ever done?? Like?? Hazelnut I love you and all, but you just accused Jason of unfairly judging nico but you ironically unfairly judged Jason and went all sweetheart on Leo?? Contradiction much?? Either forgive both of them or don't forgive either of them? Why the bias?

Then in HoH she goes on a whole lot of yapping about how she doubts his capabilities as if she didnt just idolize him like 5 minutes ago RIGHT after he encouraged her that she was doing well and included her as a part of the team?? Idk, she was so petty with him and for what?. I just found it unfair that Jason considered hazel a friend but she didn't consider him one and just fully went all judgy mode on him for the rest of the series. she holds on an even bigger grudge than nico lol. she literally did anything but forgive him or give him a chance. so ooc.

Also, In TOA, I found out Hazel told Apollo that she talked to Jason's ghost after he died, to yell at him about how much his sacrifice had hurt Piper :/ like rlly? Out of all the things you could say to a person you idolized who made a lifechanging sacrifice, you guilt trip him for the sacrifice instead of gratitude? Ig she may have been raging out of grief or something but I honestly didn't like the way their dynamic ended. So incomplete. Just another reason of why I found fanon way better.

Hazel coming in terms with the fact that jason is a boy, and not a legend would've been sm better. since the seven basically signifies friendship and comfort. him being a boy with feelings is basically the whole point of his character, but it only gets acknowledged by nico and leo. hazel of all people would've understood jason's internal struggle, she has literally come back from the dead, if anyone knows about struggle, its her.

[nightcolorz]

i read through a few of your recent asks and it got me on an armand defense blender so here we are. & i thought about doing this anonymously but then decided to rawdog it so fuck it. this is probably gonna be ridiculously long but i have Thoughts + i have a feeling if anyone will understand it's you (also i'm too much of a coward to make my own post on this topic)

ANYWAY the way some people in this fandom treat armand is actually like... vile. it goes hand in hand with the whole "reducing louis to a victim and nothing more" thing which you talked about and i want to expand on allllll that because jesus christ some of this shit

people have been talking about how armand is Literally The Worst Ever for two years now and that has really imbibed into to the fandom. i mean i was affected by this as well, i went into the books expecting the Worst from him but it wasn't nearly as bad as i had believed it would be (though tbf i am also biased here, i saw armand in a tiktok edit like a year and a half ago and autistically imprinted on him for a long while before i even watched the show. he can do no wrong ever actually)

but that mindset of "oh you thought LESTAT was bad wait until you meet ARMAND lmfao" (not flaming anyone for that btw, i'm pretty sure even i've jokingly said that at one point) has really poisoned him to the fandom. i fully get book readers being wary of him and overanalyzing everything when it comes to him but it's often the show only fans that are the worst culprits and it's a bit out of hand honestly

after s2e4 i legit saw a person say that they don't believe a word that armand said about his backstory and that he probably made up marius and all the abuse he suffered because he wanted "sympathy" (very pointed quotation marks on that one) from louis and to manipulate him. and it would've been bad enough if those were the words they used but instead they were downright horrible about it. i genuinely had to put down my phone and take a few deep breaths after reading all that. like why would you even assume that? i really hope that's not how that person treats real life victims because holy shit

and like I DON'T GET IT!!!!! people just loooove to apply malicious intent to armand in situations where there is none and i don't get it. this is the series about complex, shitty vampires and yet some people still shove them into boxes like Irredeemable Abuser Who's Just Horrible All The Time (armand, lestat), Perfect Innocent Victim Who Can Do No Wrong (louis, claudia) and Pinnacle Of Neutrality (daniel)

and the person from earlier was a die hard loustat shipper and stanned lestat and whatnot and like i'm sorry but only one of these characters has committed dv atp and it wasn't armand. why is armand the scapegoat here? (it's because he comes in the way of loustat) (also i really don't like flaming individual people for their opinions but i feel like this is vague enough that it gets a pass + this one genuinely made me want to bang my head against a wall)

people are just not equipped to deal with 3 dimensional characters because not only can they not accept that armand is not a cartoon villain that is Unequivocally Evil and some machiavellain mastermind but they also can't accept that louis is a shitty person. you can be a victim and a bad person. you can be a victim and toxic and abusive. like.. the way louis is treating armand is not okay and people shouldn't be afraid to accept that. HE'S A BAD PERSON THEY'RE ALL BAD PEOPLE THAT'S THE WHOLE FUCKING POINTTTT

and if people are bothered by that then this is not the show for them

personally i am glad they made louis actually be undeniably shitty this season it made me like him even more (& i say undeniably but people will still deny it like their life depended on it lmaooo). and i am also glad that they managed to really humanize armand for the sane of us because this portrayal of him and his character and personality is just *chef's kiss*. assad GETS HIM and all his little nuances and autistic swagger

yeah anyway uhhhhh people stop immediately assuming the worst of armand challenge (impossible) & i could keep going for another 7 paragraphs but i fear i've waffled on enough i am really fucking frustrated with parts of this fandom send help

(also like, hate armand if you will but hate him for actual things he has done lmfao stop making him something he's not. if you hate him for what he did to claudia, fair enough you do you i can't stop you but jfc some of these people)

YESSS GO OFF 🙏🙏🔥🔥‼️‼️ U or anyone else r so so incredibly encouraged to put ur steaming hot Armand takes in my ask box that ur too scared to post urself for fear of back lash! my Armand apologist army will eat it up and I will shield u from the masses ❤️❤️ consider urself protected and embraced solider.

but anyways, ur so right omg say that shit. The “if u think lestat is bad wait till u see armand he tortures people and does animal cruelty and frankensteins kid heads onto adult bodies lol all Lestat does is graphic domestic violence Armand is like crazy fr” meme has done irreversible damage to this fandoms comprehension skills it’s wild 😭 like due to two years worth of bracing themselves for mega evil Armand we have people spouting the most disgusting insensitive takes about sexual violence I’ve ever seen said so casually in a fandom 😭. I don’t think I’ve come across the post ur referencing tho *holy shit*, even in a fictional context “this person must be lying about being assaulted” is an insane thing to say with ur full chest, but I digress. I’ve seen takes where ppl r saying Armand was trying to emotionally manipulate Louis by talking about being repeatedly raped as a child and like ?? 😨😨😨. Excuse me😭😭 genuinely what the fuck. That’s the same thing as saying Claudia was trying to manipulate Louis by telling him about when she was repeatedly raped, like that is genuinely a fucked up thing to say😭. I don’t think it’s irrational to be weary of Armand’s actions at all because of course we were all bracing ourself for his betrayal so it’s not unreasonable to suspect he has ulterior motives, but it’s both dumb and also fucked up ngl to assume that literally every thing Armand does or says is two sided, especially when there has been nothing in the show besides fandom speculation to suggest that this is the case with him😭. It’s such a shallow, dumb assumption to go “oh this character is two sided so therefore he is never ever sincere at all”. Especially since Armand isn’t two sided bcus of non complex villainous intent, his motives and his lack of trust or loyalty for people or consistent, reliable behavior is very trauma based. I always like to say, he’s not like a snake, he’s like a reactive former fighting dog. A reactive dog can and will attack you without warning at any moment, but a reactive dog is so often disproportionately violent and unreliable because it’s learned that the world is unreliable and violence is how it can protect itself. Armand isn’t rlly the schemer type, he’s more of the “lifts his head from your lap and bites your face off” type.

I think that if the show was trying to suggest that Armand telling Louis about how he was raped was emotionally manipulative that would have been a fucked up and insensitive thing to write! and the fact that ppl r interpreting it that way without anything there to imply that is 😭 um. Woah?? It’s pretty overtly explained why Armand tells Louis his backstory, I’ve talked about it before but, in that scene prior to the backstory dump Louis is telling Armand that he doesn’t feel like he knows him, and he wants to know who he really is. And in this episode Louis and Armand r having a conflict where Armand perceives their relationship as intimate and important and Louis doesn’t even really see them as “together” because he doesn’t want to open himself up to that kind of vulnerability. So when Louis explains to Armand why he doesn’t feel as close to him as Armand does, Armand decides to be vulnerable with louis and tell him about who he is (and why he is the way he is) since Louis told him that that is what he wants from him. I don’t see how telling ur partner about ur life (which is made up of constant trauma) when he tells u he doesn’t know anything about ur life and would like to know more is in anyway manipulative or deceitful. Usually when I see a take I rlly disagree with I am at least able to discern how someone could come to that conclusion, but honestly I have no idea with this one 😭. Just, dude, come on. Y’all do realize that instantly assuming wrongfulness or deceit from a scene where a character is talking about their history of childhood sexual abuse does not make u look good 😭 right? The lack of self awareness is insane 😭 I understand it probably feels uncomfortable to watch a character u perceive as a straightforward manipulator and abuser talk about being horribly abused himself in a way that’s overtly sympathetic, but I think doubling down on ur previous black and white interpretation is like kind of silly goose behavior!

until ur ask I never rlly considered that some fans might be viewing Armand as noncomplexly always in the wrong bcus they are die hard Loustat shippers, but it makes sense! It’s also even more dumb 😭 I love Loustat a lot (mostly in the books cuz the show borderline desecrated them but whateves), but the thing about iwtv and tvc is that literally every character has and will date and be with each other constantly. The defensiveness over ur ship is not necessary 😭 if ur so hyper strict over monogamous shipping that it stresses u out to see ur favs in multiple relationships in the span of a show maybe this isn’t the fandom for u 😭🙏. I think maybe this attitude is coming from a place of “I need Armand to be worse then lestat because if Armand isn’t worse then lestat then loustat will look worse then Loumand and Louis will be wrong to go back to lestat”, and like, babes 😭 Lestat has already violently beat Louis on screen the harm has already been done, if ur still clinging to the hope that lestat will be ultimately the good and right choice for Louis u r fighting a loosing battle. Ship what u wanna ship guys, u can love loustat without trying to justify it as healthy or “healthier” then Loumand . But u do look like a dummy when ur trying to vastly mischaracterize Armand for shipping reasons 😭 like c’mon now. i feel the same way about Louis being portrayed as bad making u like him more!! I’m sure I’ve talked about this, but I kind of hated iwtv s1 and a lot of it was due to how Louis wasn’t at all overtly shitty or unlikable and seemed to be mostly in the right. My favorite thing about Louis in the books is how he portrays himself as a frail gentle human-like saintly vampire who wouldn’t hurt a fly and is better then other the vampires when in reality he is really a horrible, self victimizing unempathetic judgmental asshole who only cares about morality because he wants to boost his ego and feel better about himself. AHHHH it’s so interesting and entertaining to me, I love deceitful, selfish bitch louis sm. And I’m rlly happy with how s2 is leaning into this a little more than s1 is by making Louis such an asshole to Armand!! It feels really appropriate with the former slave owner/former slave parallel translated to the former pimp/former sex slave version in the show, and the way they are fleshing out the relationships in the books and adding more context. Louis is such a great character and I like him sm more in s2 lol, let him be shittyyy!! I beg u!! It’s such a shame that a lot of fans refuse to let their faves suck 🙏

and yessss!!! Armand is being portrayed so perfectly!! Assad is the perfect Armand I am so grateful for him, he is so beautifully nuanced and complex and human. So sad some fans refuse to acknowledge that 😭

on ur last paragraph!! Yesss literally there is so much about Armand to hate so if u hate him hate him for like canon things he has done instead of twisting everything he does into being non complexly evil bcus ur making the show worse for urself if ur viewing it so shallowly 😭. Armand has fucked over Claudia and Nicki and lestat and Louis, and if u hate him for that go right ahead 🙏 I hate Marius for ruining my faves life but guess what 😭 Marius is like a complex varied character and I’d sound like a straight dumb ass if I went on tumblr and tried to claim that literally everything he does is bad intentioned and evil, bcus that’s just not the case. U guys jumping through hoops to claim that Armand is always evil is like if I tried to say that Marius was actually being evil when he tried to save half the world from genocide from Akasha 😭 u know what I’m saying? Fortunately these characters r all incredibly complex and capable of like, nuanced intentions and behavior. If u can’t handle that in ur gay vampire show then I’m sorry ur going to be disappointed. God bless tho

thank u sm for the ask ur literally such an icon and I’m obsessed with u and ur steaming hot takes, everyone stands up and claps

[beyondthebackup]

On Curiosity, Killing & Cats

[illustration: @nnenteyn-new // telegram // bootsy]

Rating: E | Words: 4,502 | Pairing: BxL

@dnkinktober Prompt: Humiliation/Degradation (Day 7)

Summary:

A is dead, and Roger insists that allowing B to succeed as L is dangerous. The first generation of Wammy’s project is at an impasse and L is - was - curious.

Read on AO3 or under the cut. I hope you enjoy!

Author's Note:

This is technically my first attempt at fanfiction not written specifically for this rp blog. It's also my first time writing L and sharing any smut I've written publicly although I'll be honest, this ended up more plot-heavy than I anticipated and it's relatively tame compared to my private stuff.

All that said I want to thank @ourflagmeansdeathnote @dykelawlight @lightyaoigami @neallo and @brothercrush for being fantastic writers/artists themselves and inspiring me to put myself out there! (And all the other great creators in the dn fandom, I will look desperate and uncool if I tag all of you)

This is an uncomfortably long stretch of silence, even for L.

He observes Backup through the cracks of his sugar-dusted fingers as he busies himself with an assortment of pastries on a serving cart, inspecting and then devouring each with the practiced efficiency of an assembly line.

Honestly, L expected him to say something first.

Backup's file describes him as 'extroverted, energetic and talkative', but he hasn't spoken. He is maintaining eye contact. A little too well, actually. Paired with that flat expression, it's all a bit disconcerting...though L is not entirely unaware that others might think similarly of him.

L gulps down a mouthful of frosting and pushes the cart toward B, who is seated on the other side of Roger’s desk.

"Would you like some?" he asks, mid-chew.

Backup does not break eye contact, but he does finally speak.

"Why are you here?"

His tone is light and mildly curious, as if L were an acquaintance he bumped into at the grocery store.

L could ask himself that very same question. He did not have to be here, he did not particularly want to be here, yet he had indeed chosen to be here.

"These are extenuating circumstances."

B tilts his head. "You mean now that A's dead?"

Straight to the point.

Still, Backup’s flippant attitude does little to remedy the atmosphere.

A, the first child taken into Wammy’s House, has committed suicide at the tender age of 18.

L is not much older than them, and yet…

"Now that you are next in line to take over as L in the event of my death," he clarified.

"There is some debate about whether or not that should remain the case."

Backup is quick to open his mouth, although he doesn't seem all that surprised - before he can start, L lifts a manila folder pinched between his thumb and forefinger.

"I read your file."

B averts his eyes with a pout. "Oh, that…"

"…Well, it makes sense you'd want a well-behaved successor. The whole point of being a detective is to lock up people that break the rules, after all."

L shifts in his seat and wedges his thumb into the corner of his mouth.

It's a ridiculous oversimplification - Backup can't be serious, so is he…mocking him?

"…Is that the point?"

"I dunno, I'm not a detective. You tell me. Is it acceptable for L to break the rules?"

Yes, B is definitely mocking him…but with enough subtext to pique L's interest.

"That depends. Wammy's House is Watari's project, not mine. Breaking the rules here does not necessarily mean anything to me."

"What?" Backup scoffs, more animated all of a sudden. "Shouldn't you take being L a little more seriously? Isn't it your choice who succeeds you in the end?"

"Watari has requested that I make the final decision, yes."

B's eyes narrow.

"No one here can beat me. They would've done it by now."

"That does appear to be the case."

"Then what? Aren't you going to tell me that I can't be L if I don't behave?"

So he was expecting this.

The truth is, L still isn't sure why he's here. He hasn't made a decision, and interacting with B so far has only left him all the more unsure.

What is he going to tell Backup?

Pondering this, L reaches for a small dish of ice cream. He is deep enough in thought that he doesn't notice B finally breaking eye contact to follow the movement of his hands.

He does not notice B's patience fraying, the thinness of his veneer as he watches him nurse the cold off his teaspoon.

"…Do you still expect me to prove myself to you?" he asks quietly.

Now, there is no mistaking it. Resentment hangs from every word.

"Do you want me to grovel?"

L pulls the spoon from his mouth and meets Backup's eyes again, brow furrowed and stern.

"No. This isn't about me."

That's when L sees B smile for the very time.

If you could call it that - his upper lip twitching suddenly with disbelief, parting to reveal the beginning of something toothy and joyless.

"Bullshit,"

"A's dead because of you, you know."

A is dead because of you.

L swatted away that very same thought the day he got the news. He dismissed it because he knew it was illogical, and here Backup is actually saying it to his face. It's absurd, and L allows that to show on his face.

B is undeterred, however. He drags his chair closer to Roger's desk, plants his elbows on the surface and leans in close, eyes widening to take in the moment with full clarity.

"You don't believe me? Do you think people kill themselves for no reason? He's dead because he wasted his entire life trying to become you and failed. Do you think it's fun here, L? Is it even fun being you?"

L likes to think he is not so easily provoked, but if this is Backup's goal, he has succeeded. L did not come here to evaluate the efficacy or ethics of Watari's program, especially not at the behest of someone who is so obviously trying to get a rise out of him.

"What is it that you want from me, Backup?"

"What do I want?"

"You aren't trying to convince me that you should be my successor. If that isn't what you want, should we end the conversation?"

L is curt, but resists the temptation to be overly passive-aggressive. He understands the power dynamic - there is no need to stoop to Backup's level here. This is enough.

Dishes clatter, pastries hit the floor and in seconds Backup has vaulted over the desk and is upon him, seizing his throat with both hands.

Perhaps even more startling than the abruptness of B's attack is its sheer ferocity. L's gasp is cut off as B presses both thumbs into his neck, just above the windpipe. His grip tightens steadily and L feels a rush of genuine fear.

This is not a mere moment of blind rage because a moment has passed, and the look on B’s face is in fact indiscernible to L. Those dark eyes fixate on his and betray nothing but resolve.

He is in danger.

L grabs at his forearms, clawing into them to little effect. He cannot speak, and even if he could-

He asked Roger not to interfere with their meeting.

L is here out of curiosity.

Curiosity and perhaps, deep down, a small (and obviously misguided) sense of responsibility for this place and the orphans raised in it.

Honestly, he prefers not to think about it much.

But A is dead, and Roger insists that allowing B to succeed as L is dangerous.

The first generation of Wammy’s project is at an impasse and L is - was - curious.

It's not that he never considered the possibility of an outburst. That would be understandable, warranted even. L asked Roger not to interfere with this meeting because if B had something to say to him, he wanted to hear it.

But this is different.

L struggles and B draws closer, forcing him to shrink back, sink deeper into Roger's leather armchair. It wounds his ego to be caught so off guard, but L can't even remember the last time he was touched by someone other than Watari.

He spends much of his time isolated from others, and even when he isn't, no one would dare violate his personal space like this.

It isn't just the violence that is alien, the danger, but his touch, and L finds himself paralyzed by it all. Frozen by the fact that B is smiling again, and this time, he seems genuinely happy.

"This is what I want, L," Backup sighs. "That look on your face."

Dread settles into the pit in L's chest and he steels himself to kick at B as hard as he can. It takes more than a few attempts to knock him off balance, but he manages, and with some distance between them, L scrambles out of the armchair.

B is fast, L is flexible, B is strong, L is stubborn.

As B grabs L by the hem of his shirt, L turns to take another swing at him, and in the fray the two of them are sent tumbling to the ground.

So begins the undignified floor wrestling match between two young geniuses.

...Unfortunately, it appears B is the better of the two at wrestling.

L manages to knock the breath out of B more than once, but it makes little difference. He finds himself pinned underneath Backup's oppressive weight while he snickers like a child at play.

"Shhh...relax. Relax! Just stay there! Stay there. I realized something important. I won't hurt you. Calm down. Listen."

"What, Backup?" L snaps as he drops his hands, exasperated.

B grins impishly at him.

"You're a disappointment!"

L stares at Backup in utter disbelief.

"Me?"

"Now that I've met you, I know my entire life has been a waste of time!"

L's stomach drops as he assures himself these are only provocations. Why else would Backup be so gratingly cheerful about it?

"I wasted it trying to become you. A died trying to become you.

But you're just a loser! Another worthless human being! You're weak, you're pathetic, and worst of all, you're boring!

World's Greatest Detective. You!? Are you serious!? Look at you!!"

L stiffens and braces himself to shove B off. He doesn't need to listen to this, Backup is obviously the kind of person that takes pleasure in spite, this is fun for him, this is a waste of time-

"A was better than you, you know," he goes on, voice dripping with contempt. "I actually respected him. I bet everyone was hoping you would die so he could replace you. Too bad."

Backup lowers himself down onto his elbows and cups his hands around L’s face, relishing in it when he feels him flinch.

How many people have seen L like this?

His sneer has vanished. L does not move - he is fighting panic, fighting his racing heart and the goosebumps dotting his skin, he is fighting the confusion that follows the intimacy of skin-on-skin poisoned by the malice on B's tongue.

B's heartbeat is equally frantic, but it doesn't show on his face. L is not nearly as skilled as B in this regard and finds himself all too conscious of his own labored breathing.

"You were my entire life," he says. “I spent all this time waiting for you, thinking of you...only for you to be like this. A died because he wasn't good enough. And now you're here to tell me I’m not good enough."

"No."

"Do you think your life is worth more than all of our lives combined?"

"I never said that."

"You said this isn't about you, but that's not true, is it?

My life has always been about you. A's, too. You're the reason why this place exists. Why I exist.

I exist because you're not good enough, either.

No matter how many cases you solve, you're no different from me. You're a tool. An object. You exist to be used.

That's why you're what...20? And Watari already has an entire orphanage of kids ready to take your place when you die! He doesn't believe in you either."

"That's enough," L cannot take it anymore, he cannot listen to another second of this, he cannot spend another moment on this floor pinned under him, being touched by him, his skin is crawling and he cannot breathe and the air is hot and his stomach is tight and he feels his heartbeat in all the wrong places.

L wills himself to snap out of it, he needs to get B off of him before-

Abruptly, B sits up and directly on top of

"-!? Do you have an erection!?"

B exclaims as if he doesn't know the meaning of the word and all the color drains from L's face.

Do not dignify that with a response. It is involuntary and nothing to be ashamed of.

"Is this turning you on?"

"No."

B bursts into a fit of cruel laughter and L only tenses underneath him, awash with humiliation. L does not often care what others think of him, but he has never felt like this before, so utterly degraded by someone who should respect him, and he's laughing at him, at his- why does he have an erection?

"No?" B echoes. "What's this?" Sliding easily down his thighs, L jerks back from his hand when he feels it rest on the crotch of his jeans.

"I knew it! You're a pervert!"

"And what does that make you, exactly?" L hits back.

"This isn't about me," B draws out L's own line. "Why are you so easy, anyway...? Oh! I get it - I bet no one's ever touched you, besides that disgusting old man. Why would they?"

It's amazing how that talkativeness of his rears its ugly head in a situation like this.

"You're a virgin, aren't you? You're probably touch starved...even though you're older than me and rich and everything. Aww, it must be so lonely being L!"

“Get off of me," L hisses.

"You sure that's what you want?"

With a sharp exhale through his nose, L squeezes his eyes shut for a moment...for just a single moment of peace. He needs to think, he needs to move, and he needs to never admit that B is right and he isn't sure if that's what he wants, because he is excited by this.

He doesn't have the time to intellectualize it. He can break his rule and call for Roger. He can shove B off of him. He can stop this, he could've avoided this entirely had he smothered that curiosity, taken the file at its word and never met one of his so-called successors.

L can feel B's gaze burning through him, but at least he's not talking in that perpetually amused voice and at least he can't see that sadistic excuse for a smile. There is something wrong with B and there is something wrong with him for feeling like this is the first time in a long time someone has managed to surprise or challenge him.

He doesn't have the time to intellectualize it and therefore doesn't have time to convince himself that this is wrong.

It is wrong that he feels relief when B does not wait for him to answer and dips his slender fingers past the waistband of his jeans. Again, he only rests his hand against L's growing arousal. He does not provide any friction, does not move.

It takes all of L's willpower to fight an upward twitch of his hips, the weight and warmth of Backup's touch promising pleasure and yet refusing to follow through.

"Oh, L..." B hums. "You are just a man, after all."

The World's Greatest detective pinned underneath him, shirt inched up past his navel in the fray, so clearly out of his depth. And it was easy. So fucking easy.

"Is this the one thing Watari won't do for you?"

B delights in watching the pink flush crawl up the back of L's neck to his cheekbones, that jaw set so tight he just knows he is gritting his teeth. He can't even look at him, turning his head to the side as if B would ever let him off that easy.

"Look at me," B says sweetly.

L does not.

"I said, look at me," B grabs L by the chin and forces him face forward. He suddenly takes L's clothed erection into a light grip, wringing a quiet gasp out of him. The detective's eyes snap open to glare at Backup with equal parts resentment and desperation, filling B with a deep and twisted satisfaction. He knows that look all too well.

"Do you hate me, L?" he asks, eyes softening with something resembling infatuation. It makes L all the more confused and uncomfortable and frustrated that B will not just get this over with.

Over the course of this conversation, L has learned at least one thing about Backup. Responding in the affirmative is likely what he wants.

This whole thing must have been to get a rise out of him, and L is playing right into his hands.

Because he's...enjoying it.

"I have no reason to hate you, Backup. I have no reason to feel any particular way about you at all,"

His assumption is proved correct when B immediately digs his nails into L's jaw.

"Your dick disagrees."

"It's involuntary."

B's grip on L's erection slacks again. "You don't want me to touch you?"

L's glare darkens.

"Say it."

L curls his toes, wondering if it would be enough to clamp his thighs around B's hand or if his aim all this time really was for L to discard his dignity. Resisting B is an uncomfortable, laborious, painful experience...but would sacrificing his dignity, his better judgement for a single moment of carnal satisfaction be worse?

I want you to touch me.

L tries the sentence out in his mind and it makes him wince. He's imagining B's grin splitting wide again, that sharp laugh, and the way his cock will throb when the humiliation sinks in. He imagines Backup following through, apparently capable of giving him the release that he has never been interested in seeking out until now.

This has awakened something in him. The wrongness of it all is what makes L want it, and he isn't sure if anything will ever feel quite this wrong again.

What's that saying? Curiosity killed the cat?

L will never see this cat again. Not ever.

Does it really matter if he makes a mistake now?

L sucks in air through his teeth and finally, recklessly relents.

"I want you to touch me," he mumbles with just enough conviction as to not feel entirely pathetic, to allow himself some illusion that he is in fact in control.

"...You fucking pervert," B giggles. "I didn't actually think you'd say it. You're shameless, that's so gross..."

Even so, it seems to do the trick. B massages him slowly through his underwear, free hand finally releasing his jaw to take a fistful of L's hair and yank his head back.

"I'm barely 18, what is wrong with you?"

"That's not-!"

"Shut up," B palms him with more intention. He can feel L twitching around his fingers as he pulls the fabric around his length, pleasures him with the barrier that exists between him and what he actually wants.

"Hhn-" With all pretext shattered, L slowly lets go. This friction is not nearly enough or he wouldn't be squirming like this, chewing down on his tongue wishing Backup would just get on with it already.

"Aren't there cameras in here? What will the old man think of you?"

"Just get on with it..." L sighs with marked frustration.

"I was trying to give you plausible deniability by only going this far. You'll have to say please if you want me to actually touch the hard-on you got from being degraded by me."

"You are ridiculous," L seethes.

Plausible deniability. Right.

"I assure you I'm quite serious. Having your successor get you off is going to be your fault."

"My fault? I'm not the one who started this."

"You're going to blame me? Even when our power dynamic is like this? You're not a good person at all, L. You can't take responsibility for anything."

Another ragged sigh interrupts L's retort as B gropes his cock, offering him delicious pressure and friction but refusing to give up on the tease...until he feels a wet spot growing, at least.

B wets his lip with his tongue. "I don't think I even have to go any farther. Treating you like the garbage you are and just a little bit of attention is all it takes."

"Please," L forces out.

"Please what?"

"More. Please just...touch me more."

"It's not enough?"

"No."

"Okay, I'll do what you say. I'm obsessed with you after all."

True to his word, Backup releases L and pulls his jeans and underwear down past his hips, exposing L's straining, leaking cock for the both of them to see.

"You just said that I was worthless."

"You are. I hate you more than anything, and nothing would make me happier than watching you suffer. That's the kind of person that's going to get you off for the first time, L. And I'm doing it not because I want you back, but because I know you'll never forget it..."

B finally wraps his hand around L's erection and of course he is lying about not wanting it, he wants this desperately, he is coming undone inside in ways that L could never imagine, because he does not know him.

He has nothing to do with him.

Hatred, lust and love are not all that different after all.

L tries to quiet his mind, to avoid internalizing anything B is saying. For whatever reason being spoken to like this and treated like this is the most arousing thing L has ever personally experienced, and he should treat this as something being done in service of him.

That's what it really is. It has to be.

At the end of the day, no matter what B said, he would still be B and L would still be L.

B leans in close, still stroking L all too slowly, too lightly, and yet it is enough to force unsightly little mewls from L's lips. He shudders when he feels Backup's lips pressed against the shell of his ear.

"I want you to remember this feeling, L," he whispers.

L swallows hard and bucks up to meet B's movements.

"I want you to remember how desperate and helpless and low you feel right now, and I want you to remember it was me that made you feel this way."

The friction is maddening. So simple and yet so intense. L feels his inner voice quieting, fading, he feels dangerously human, dangerously like simple flesh, like B said, just a man...not the world's greatest anything.

"No one is ever going to care about you as much as I do. I thought of you constantly for ten years. Yet now that I know you...I despise you."

L is panting as B fists his cock, speaking with such vitriol as to be certain L could not fool himself into thinking it was an act.

"I despise you so much. You make me sick. And you're getting off on that? Off on my misery..."

"N-no-"

"You are. I know because I got off on A's misery, and I'm getting off on yours, too. I know exactly the kind of person you are.

Depraved. Disgusting. Fucked in the head. You hide behind your title and the law so no one ever finds out you're just a pathetic fucking cock-sucking degenerate that would be better off dead!"

L groans deeply and hates himself for it. He doesn't understand himself, he doesn't understand this, why every word is pulsing through L's hips like lightning, why it feels so good to be reduced to this when most of his life, his efforts only earned him universal praise.

"What would Watari think if he saw you right now, L? He'd be so disappointed in you. Why would you do something like this? It's inappropriate, it's dangerous, you were warned, right? Don't you know better?"

"Stop...stop saying his name..."

"Don't you know better, L? Say it."

"I-I know better..."

"So why are you doing this?"

"I...don't know-!" L cries out in frustration, moans rolling out of him in choked out intervals. The pleasure is piercing him, becoming unbearable, mutating into something frightening, something about to burst.

"Tell me why!" B demands, releasing L altogether. At this stage, he can't bear it, and the levy breaks.

"Because I'm a pervert! I'm disgusting and I'm pathetic and I want you to touch me, you're right about me, B! You're right..." L whines. "Please don't stop, I can't take it anymore..."

This wipes the smile off B's face which makes it all the more painful...he is staring at L incredulously and for the first time L becomes aware that B is also panting, his skin is just as hot.

He presses his forehead against L's and stares at him in silence for a few beats. It drives a vicious chill up his spine and he knows, deep deep down,

even if he never saw B again,

he's made a terrible mistake.

"I'll never let you forget about me, L."

And so he reaches back between L's thighs for the final time with no intention of holding back.

L jerks under him, thighs trembling as B swirls his thumb over his sensitive head.

"Keep your eyes open, slut."

Even as his mouth hangs open, moaning freely to keep B from becoming restless enough to return to his teasing, it's not enough.

Backup is so focused on him, so unwilling to look away that L is forced to endure the intimacy of sustained eye contact while he is this vulnerable. He feels stripped bare, like Backup is staring right through him.

No one should see him so unguarded, especially never someone like him, yet he obeys, he obeys and lets B see everything, his drawn-out groans as his orgasm creeps up on him, the drool beading at the corner of his mouth, the hopeless lust in his tired eyes.

He feels humiliated. Degraded. Disgusting. But most of all, he feels alive.

All thoughts cease as L arches his back and white hot satisfaction washes over his entire body. He reaches for B's forearms, gripping onto him as he cums hard all over his hand, an undignified mess left behind on the both of them, proof that it happened.

Undeniable.

B lets out a shaky breath and watches L sink into the floor with wide eyes. The memory and the image burning into his psyche where it would never leave him. Where it strengthened his result to become a murderer

and destroy L.

L would never forget this feeling, but neither would B.

With A dead, his new purpose in life is clear.

He will be the one to make L grovel.

B is still lost in thought when L reluctantly opens his eyes to face the aftermath. Luckily for him, B is not looking back at him but at his own hand.

L is confused until Backup sticks his cum-covered fingers into his mouth and begins to suck them clean-

No. L has to get out of here right now before this gets any worse.

Fine, Backup. You win.

I'll break my rule.

"Roger!!!" L shouts at the top of his lungs.

[lolasimms]

a lots gonna change pt.8

Summary: Married life isn’t great, infidelity ensues, and things change.

next part

I need to know if we’re team Abby or Ellie?

"Hi, this is Y/n...leave a message"

30

She had called your phone at least 30 times in the past 3 hours. She was sorry, she was scared and she just wanted her family back. The house felt hollow, the sound of laughter had died, the light had dissipated and along with it, the happiness had gone. She had gotten multiple voicemails from Paige and Vic asking what had happened, but she didn't have the energy to re-live it, to retell it. It hurt her so much to see the look on your face, the tears in your eyes, your urgency to leave the house and get away from her. But she knew if it was this bad for her, how much worse was it for you?

-

"Come here, oh my god, come here"

Dina pulls you into a tight hug, as she cries with you. She had instructed Jesse to take Lila upstairs to play with Jj, as she knew you wouldn't have wanted your daughter to see you in such a state. A state of vulnerability and heartache, as you mourned the end of your relationship. You told her everything, from their hotel meetups, office hookups, the lies, all of it. Dina was left bewildered by it all, she honestly looked like she could kill Ellie herself.

"I'm so scared Dina, I- what's going to happen to us, to Lila?"

You frantically ask, as you continue to sob into the poor woman's shirt, she however didn't mind as she held you tightly against her and soothingly rubbed your back. Without her reassurance and comfort you weren't sure you would've been able to cope.

"Don't worry about that right now, Lila's okay. Right now you need to think about yourself Y/n."

Her words are stern and you look up to glance at her eyes. She's dead serious , but you can't help but object. "Dina , I cant, it's selfish an-" You're cut off when she begins to shake her head and interrupts your rebuttal.

"It's not selfish at all, you love her and she broke your heart, you need time to reflect and think about the decisions you are going to have to make Y/n. Think about Lila, whatever you decide in the next coming weeks will impact her"

You sniffle lowly, evaluating her wise words. Deep down, you knew what she meant, what she was insinuating when she talked about the "decisions" you would have to make in the coming weeks. An allusion to the inevitable custody discussions you and Ellie were bound to have in the event that you went through with a separation.

"I just can't Dina,  it hurts so bad,why wasn't I enough?"

You sob, another case of tears spring free, the lump in your throat beginning to feel like a clump of granite that was scratching against the surface of your oesophagus. You weren't even sure how the tears still came in, deep down it felt as though there were no more tears you could possibly shed. Yet every time you pictured the intimate photos, text messages and logs of calls between your wife and that woman, your heart broke a little more.

"You are enough, she was just too selfish to see that, you deserve so much better" Dina's only resort Is to console you, as she knows nothing else will work. The two of you sit in the small nook by the window in a warm embrace, you are interrupted by Jesse who tentatively enters from the corner with a soft knock.

"Y/n, you've got a call" he says lowly, strings  of sympathy can be detected from his voice, and you lift yourself from Dina's chest to thank him and accept the phone from him. The contact reads Joel, and your heart once again shatters, the thought of having to explain it to the only other father figure, aside from your own that you ever had. You excuse yourself to Dina and Jesses brightly lit up alfresco to take your phone call.

"Hello?" You say, trying your best to abstain from breaking out into a rough sob.

"Honey, what happened, are you okay, where are you and Lila?" He asks urgently, his voice sounds as though he too had been crying.

"We're okay, I'm at Dina's, did you talk to her?" You ask, voice just above a whisper.

"I did, she's such a fool, I cant believe she would do such a thing, Y/n I truly can't express how sorry I am" his tone is strong, seemingly angered by the thoughts of Ellie's infidelity.

"You don't have to apologise, this isn't your doing" you clutch the phone tighter, in an attempt to be closer to him, he clears his throat, and you can here the hesitance in his voice when he asks you "Are you... are you going to take her away from us?" Your already broken heart, breaks just a little bit more and you earnestly shake your head, as if he were here with you.

"No, of course not Joel, I would never do that to you, Lila loves you... and her"

"Why don't the both of you come stay with me for now?"

—

"Y/n, Dina and I are more than happy to have you and Lila stay here if you need, we're always here for you" Jesse says as he hands a sleeping, Lila to you. Dina nods as JJ lay's awake in her arms, the two of them walking you to the door.

"Thank you so much, the both of you. I think we'll stay at Joel's for a while, just until we figure everything out" They nod and you wave them good bye as you slowly place the sleeping child into her booster seat.

The drive to Joel's is quiet, the soft snores of your daughter lull you into relaxation, this car ride being the most tranquil part of the last 24 hours. Once you arrive at Joel's he's out the door and immediately holding on to you while muttering "sorry"

You hated that he thought any of this was his fault, even worse that he thought you would in any way blame him for Ellie's actions. The room he had given you was simple, yet effective. It housed a queen sized bed, just enough to fit you and Lila, a desk, a chair, a lamp and a wall littered in floral wallpaper. It wasn't anything like your home, but you were more than thankful that both you and your daughter were being taken care of. After settling the still sleeping toddler into bed, you decided you were due a long hot shower.

-

The white shirt that she'd been wearing was stained, mainly from her tears and a few lone drips of whiskey that had dribbled down her chin. She was splayed out on the floor of her daughters now empty nursery, a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels sat besides her. Her hair had fallen out of her neat ponytail and her head was throbbing with a migraine.

Ellie had decided to call Joel again, after having him give her the nastiest talking to she could remember since she was a teen just a few hours earlier.He begrudgingly answered, informing her that her daughter and y/n were staying with him temporarily. She couldn't help but feel a weight being lifted off her shoulders. She would've much preferred that the two of you return home to her but she knew you needed time. Being with Joel was much better than being somewhere where she couldn't reach you at all.

She took the time away from you to reflect, to really think about what she had done. But more importantly she reflected on what was to come from her infidelity. She didn't know if you were done with this relationship, she hoped you weren't, but alas even she couldn't forgive herself. So how could you?She contemplated on calling Amelia, asking her to come over, but she realised that it was a stupid idea. She hated her, she had ruined everything and taken away the two people she loved most. Ellie wanted answers, she needed to know if you would stay with her, she needed you to stay with her.

-

The glass enclosing the shower was covered in steam, the hot water cascaded down your body, as you let your tears flow down freely. You let your mind go blank for just a few seconds, trying your best to forget about everything that was going on in your life, even if it was only just for a second. You were brought back to reality when the water began to turn cold. You quickly pushed the tap closed and grabbed the towel that Joel had so graciously given you. Wrapping yourself into its warmth and glancing at the mirror that was now coated in condensation. You looked a mess, you eyes were red and your face puffy from all the crying, you promised yourself you'd get some sleep tonight.

You made your way back into the bedroom and caught a glimpse of your baby's sleeping form. So innocent and pure, you felt sick knowing you would have to make a decision that could possibly negatively impact her. You wondered how Ellie did it for those whole 5 months, how she managed to sleep at night knowing she was betraying this innocent child. Slowly you lifted the comforter as to not wake up Lila and made your way into bed. You tried to sleep but the images of Amelia and Ellie kept popping up into your brain. The ones where she had her head on Ellie's chest as she peacefully slept, the ones where she stood half-naked in the mirror as she held her from behind and the photos of the extensive gifts she had gotten her. You wanted to erase your memories, you wished that you could wake up to find that all of this was just a bad dream. That the woman you loved hadn't broken her vows. You placed your headphones in your ears, your last resort being music, and wrapped your arm protectively over your daughter as you slowly managed to drift off to sleep, the lyrics of each song fading, the closer you got to sleep.

-

You called in sick on Monday and Tuesday while ignoring the extensive texts from Ellie. She called you at-least 4 times a day, texted you endlessly, she even tried coming over to Joel's but he very strictly warned her that as long as you weren't comfortable with it, he couldn't let her in. You had informed your sister and mother begrudgingly, thanks to Joel's insistence.

They were livid, which was to be expected and your sister had already booked a ticket to come and see you. All in all it was hardest on you to see the way your daughter was coping, just four days without Ellie and she would ask non-stop about her. She was snappy and refused to let you get anything done, it didn't help that all you wanted to do was sit in your bed and cry. You were lucky enough to have a friend like Dina, who had insisted to have Lila over for a few days at hers, to give you time to cry it out and think.

-

You wore a pair of dark sunglasses, an oversized deftones hoodie that had belonged to Ellie and a pair of sweatpants that didn't fit you right. The hood was pulled over to cover your wild curls that you hadn't dealt with in days. You looked a mess and honestly didn't care who did or didn't see you, as you pushed a cart around the supermarket.

"Y/n? A voice calls out to you as you're browsing the produce section. You silently groan and turn to make out the voice coming from behind you. When you come face to face with Abby who's carrying a crate of San Pellegrino sparkling water.

-

"Ellie?" Her name being called out and the rough knocks at the door startled her as she jumped off the couch. She couldn't bear sleeping in your shared room without you, so she had taken residency in the living room for the past four days. No matter how hard she had tried to get in contact with you, nothing worked. Not to mention the fact that Joel wouldn't let her see you. She understood she needed to respect your boundaries but she was growing tired.

As she made her way to the front door a part of her hoped it was you who was out there. Holding your daughter in your arms and ready to come back home and be a family again. To her dismay when she opened the door she was met with Satan herself.

"Ellie, I missed you" Amelia says as she flings her arms around Ellie's neck and attempts to kiss her.

Ellie firmly removes Amelia from her and steps away. The blonde is seemingly confused by Ellie's actions and immediately goes red with rage.

"You can't be here right now Amelia, please for your own good, leave." Ellie's arms are crossed in defence, she would no longer tolerate the crazinesses. She had lost too much from this affair and couldn't bare the thought of you coming back to see her here.

"What do you mean I can't be here right now?" Amelia growls as she steps closer to the door, she's now inches away from Ellie and seething.

"This is our home now, we're meant to be together, we love each other" she's now tightly holding onto Ellie's shoulders, her acrylic nails digging so deep that they would surely leave marks.

"No we're not, you told Y/n fair enough. But I don't plan on letting her go that easily. I apologise for how I treated you Amelia okay? But we just can't be together" Ellie removes her hands once more and attempts to close the door.

"Your apology means nothing to me, you don't understand the mistake you're making" with that she turns and angrily stomps towards her car that was parked further down the street. Ellie shakes her head in disbelief and heads back into the house.

-

I hadn't seen you at work for two days, I was worried" Abby says as she helps you load your groceries into your car. You shut the trunk and make your way over to grab the trolley. You push it back to the trolley station and she follows behind you.

"Yeah well, I'm sick" you lie as you firmly return the trolley and then walk back to your car.

"You don't look sick" she removes your sunglasses and you groan in annoyance.

"What the fuck was that for?" You turn to look at her as she searches your face.

"Have you been crying?" She holds your face in her hands and you pull away before she can jump to any conclusions.

"No, just mind your business" you try reaching for your car door but she's opened it for you, standing in between it to prevent you from shutting it closed.

"You know aside from all the petty shit between Ellie and I, I actually care about you Y/n" for the first time her tone sounds sincere and you don't sense any hints of malice.

"Ellie had an affair, happy?" You blurt out and look away, not wanting to see the sympathetic look she would give you. It would just make you feel pathetic.

"You're joking right?"

"Why would I joke about that?" You sigh, as you grab your sunglasses from her hands and place them back on. You could feel another round of tears coming in.

"How long?" She asks tentatively, trying to gauge your reaction.

"5 months" you reply meekly.

"Y/n, I don't know how anyone could cheat on you, honestly she doesn't deserve you-" you cut her off, not wanting to hear anymore of it.

"And you do?"

"What?" She sounds shocked at your quip.

"You said she doesn't deserve me, I bet you think you do"

"As a matter of fact yes, I think I do. Because I wouldn't put you through that shit. I wouldn't take you for granted."

"Abby, it's too soon for all of this, just please give me space okay?" She nods and you buckle yourself in. She remains stood in the same spot and watches as you drive away.

-

"Ellie?" You question as your grip tightens on your phone. You await a response but all you hear is rustling coming from the background.

"Baby? Hi" Her voice is raspy, it's as if she hadn't used it in days.

"I think we should talk" you say as you fidget with you car keys. Your eyes focused on the charms of the keychain as you swung them around.

"Yeah me too, what do you want to talk about?" Her voice slightly perks up and you feel your throat constrict as the next worlds leave your mouth.

"I think we should seperate"

taglist;

@moonlightdivine @maybe-cece @macaroni676 @sawaagyapong @katiemars @ellieseater @dakota-dream @joliettes @hebrokeimup @bratydoll @wakasaaa @catostrophiclesbian @l0v3e1i

[monsterpie]

My thoughts on the Pride comics:

(Below the cut is my opinions on both the Toradeen AND Spellentine comics)

Toradeen comic:

Overall, it was a cute comic. They somehow made Toralei and Clawdeen cute together, props to them. That said... it's a random-ass pairing. There is no way those two would have ever dated each other in g1. They didn't like each other and they didn't even spend time together alone if they could help it. It was very clearly a ship made because they thought dog x cat would be good. I think if it were a comic about, say, Ghoulia and Kjersti instead, it would've been better and more realistic.

The two new characters, Bridgett and Jackie, were very cute. It is VERY hard to believe that they're Monster High students, though. I thought they were college age or young adults. In my mind, they seemed around 25 years old. Regardless, they were quite endearing. I thought the lesson they taught Toradeen about respecting your partner's boundaries and understanding their needs was a very important lesson for people to learn, whether they be kids or adults reading the comic.

The comic was pretty well-paced. It did a good job with the amount of pages it was given and didn't drag things out or rush through too much. The art style was cute. There were small additions made to the world that I enjoyed, like the existence of the fire-salamanders and how they seem to be popular to catch and use to cook things like marshmallows. Overall, it was pretty solid and a relatively enjoyable read once I ignored the fact that, again, it is an INCREDIBLY random ship.

Spellentine comic:

I... honestly don't have a lot of nice stuff to say about this comic. 😬

I think Spelldon really didn't have much personality at all. I think that it is also a disservice to have Spelldon's first introduction outside of an obscure diary mention be a comic that isn't about him. I think they didn't do a good job of establishing Spelldon's personality or character or motivations or... well, anything really. If they had, for instance, leaned more into Spelldon being clumsy like when he accidentally tripped and bumped his head, or if they made him a little more judgmental like when he said Valentine's fake Southern accent was bad, maybe that would've at least made him more memorable.

I also think they made Valentine... off. I'm aware that his personality in WDGFIL was largely a farce, but his personality in the comic didn't feel like him at all, neither the suave and cool self from the movie nor the accepting and calm self from the SDCC diary. He was... well, emotional and whiny. Annoying, frankly. His entire SDCC diary was about accepting things and growing as a person, and although he seemed to have SOME of that in the comic, he was also ready to stop feeling love at the drop of a hat - something which is especially confusing when we remember that Mrs. Goblin from the diary specifically mentioned that free and true love was so important for emotional vampires, and also something that doesn't feel like a decision he would make given the fact that he's supposed to, y'know, have come to terms with and accepted the fact that things won't always go his way. Teenagers are dramatic, I understand that, but in his SDCC diary he had come to terms with the fact that Draculaura and her friends might never come to trust and forgive him, but that he still wanted to prove himself to them if it was possible. In the comic, Draculaura turns his invitation to fang out down in the kindest possible way and he reacts like...that. It didn't feel like him at all.

The comic itself felt badly-paced and rushed. It felt like they had too much that they wanted to do and not enough pages to do it, resulting in feeling rushed. Valentine's decision to give up on love forever, Spelldon's first official appearance giving him almost zero time to establish himself, a potion-making quest, a lesson about... whatever they were trying to teach (acceptance? again? I guess?)... it was just too much. Maybe a full-length comic could've tackled it better, but I think this short one couldn't do it. They should've cut out some parts (my vote is to cut the not-wanting-to-love part out and instead have Spelldon and Valentine just need to make a potion for class or whatever). Another problem with the comic was that it was largely ruled by Valentine, rather than both boys equally. Spelldon made almost zero impression because Valentine was so loud, both in personality and in amount of words spoken, leaving Spelldon to kind of flounder behind.

The relationship itself was... fine. There really wasn't much any substance whatsoever. Person A takes care of Person B. It just didn't feel like it had much going for it. Their personalities seemed to mesh alright as friends, but as boyfriends... I don't know, to me it just doesn't work. It's not like Jackie and Bridgett where they're differing personalities that still work in the end, it just feels like... guy-who-will-inevitably-be-overlooked and his boyfriend, the guy with giant neon signs pointing him out.

Also, small gripe: I really wish Spelldon hadn't called Valentine's fake accent dumb lmfao. Valentine said he liked the accent, and I think if he had explained that it made him feel comfortable and confident around others, and also explained that he just *liked* doing it regardless, that would've been a sweet characterization moment that I could've truly believed.

A personal gripe and overall criticism: I still, even now all these years later, think it was an absolutely horrific idea to make Valentine gay. Like, catastrophically bad. The guy preyed on a bunch of innocent ghouls and stole their ability to love for centuries (for some, if not all of them, that probably meant their entire lives), but, oh, it's okay guys! He's gay! He was just doing it because he was gay! Sometimes men hurt every women in their loves because their true soulmate is gay! This isn't about his ability to change - he CAN change and he DID change. This is about the optics of it: the (at the time of the SDCC diary) ONLY "confirmed" (in loose quotes because that was bullshit back then too) gay character in the children's media Monster High was one of, and I can NOT stress this enough, the WORST VILLAINS THAT MONSTER HIGH HAD EVER HAD. Just another evil gay trope. Again, yes, he did change and get better... but how many people have read his SDCC diary? How many people even know it exists? Probably not many casual fans, probably not anybody who was a kid when the movie came out and is now seeing this comic on shelves a few years later. He should've just been straight. In my mind, he is. That way, at least, I don't have to worry about yet another evil gay in kids media.

Anyway, things I liked about the comic: Spelldon's design was really nice, I enjoyed seeing Whisp again even if it was very brief, I thought Valentine apologizing to Draculaura and attempting to befriend her was very sweet, as was her apologizing to him at the end of the comic while still maintaining her boundaries and not trying to change her schedule too much for him, and I thought it was funny that Spelldon and Valentine were going around and stealing shit for a useless potion lmfao.

[pianocat939]

Hi celina! I'm a new asker but I've been reading your work for a while! Specifically your rottmnt work:)

Could I request a yandere platonic turtles x Gn!reader who's willing? Like just completely accepts that they've been taken from they're life on the surface to live with 4 Mutant turtles in the sewers lol. And maybe reader gets babied and really enjoys it bc I feel like that would be really cute😭

I want nothing more than for my comfort characters to baby and take care of me ngl so I'm definitely projecting

And if its available could I be anon 💨?

Xoxo

Indulgent aren't we? Well you're not alone my friend. We all are.

You're 💨 anon now.

Tw: overprotective, honestly really fluffy

Platonic Yandere Turtles with Willing MC

"Leo, if they come out the portal with even the tiniest little scratch I'm going to kick you to Bulgaria." Raph crosses his arms and stares down at Leo, uncertainty in his eyes.

"M'kay, I'll just ask for a train to go to the penguins." Leo holds out his sword, ready to create portal when Donnie interrupts him.

"Wait! I need to settle down the safety cushions, and the net if they come flying through plus the-" As he settled down the reinforcements Mikey intervenes.

"Slippers!" The orange-masked turtle places down a pair of slippers, clasping his hands together. "Leo! Send them through, pretty please?"

Leo looks behind, "I would've done it earlier if you guys weren't so particular about me portaling them!" He once again holds out his sword in front of him, then swishes it in a circular motion. An electric blue portal appears instantly, glowing brilliantly.

Momentarily after, a person shoots out from the gateway, landing straight into the net that Donnie held with his robot arms. They groan, opening their drowsy eyes.

"I told you guys! Safety protocol is important!" The scientist exclaims, untangling the victim of the net.

——————————————————

The boys love that you accept their appreciation for you! Now they get to baby you all they want, and you don't even complain!

I would say those who love this the most are Leo and Mikey. Leo likes providing for you so he can be deemed useful, and Mikey just loves serving you in any way.

If you don't like moving too much, or just feel lazy at times, then ask Raph. He loves carrying you around wherever. He's also a great person to sleep/nap with. His big arms are great if you ever want to feel extra safe. Will not let you touch hot food.

Leo is such a fucking try-hard for this that it's hilarious. If you wanna talk, he'll be right there, listening for every word. Do you feel sad? Let his one-liners and horrible jokes make you cringe so hard you laugh! Do you ever feel unsafe? Don't worry, your friend's got you covered!

D'Nello babies in a similar sense to Raph, but more critical. He makes sure your body is having a healthy intake of its needs: the amount of sleep, hydration levels, nutrition, and anything of similar sorts is managed by him. Is your sugar friend(?): he buys anything you want or need.

Mikey is also another cuddler like Raph, except he likes to clutch onto your arm or hand while you guys wander around the lair. He likes doing everything with you! (Well, most activites) If you're an artist, you guys can draw together, or if you're a pianist (totally not projecting) he'll sit down and listen to you play!

If you're ever sick or hurt, they're swarming around you. Both panicked and serious about getting you back in health. Donnie's going to be the worst one out of them all though. He won't leave your side unless he absolutely has to or is fetching something.

All of them will try to partake in your interests. Donnie probably will only do this because it's about you, his favorite person in the universe.

They have a hidden "who's the favourite chart" underneath one of Donnie's structures. Every week they try to debate who's the favourite.

——————————————————

The guilty fantasy of wanting to be babied is overpowering meeeee.

- Celina

[grungeeuvu]

I love Goshiki so much and you all get to hear me briefly explaining his character:

Goshiki is the only first-year on the starting lineup of a powerhouse school that is absolutely formidable. Imagine the pressure, being selected out of the other hundred students: not just the other first years but also the second and third years. There aren't even any other first years on the bench, he is the only first year on the court entirely. Seriously, imagine the stress he is under to perform as calmly, perfectly and logically as all his cold and unreasonable upperclassmen, who've all been to nationals many times. Not only that, he is regularly told he will be the next ace once Ushijima, one of the top three in the whole country, graduates.

Everyone expects him to live up to being the ace of a legendary team, succeeding the local "miracle boy" himself. He probably doesn't have a lot of his friends in his classes due to volleyball commitments and probably is shunned by other first years on the club out of jealousy. The only company he'd really have are his other teammates, whom he is trying so hard to impress. He doesn't want to let them down, he wants to do them proud and be worth all the effort they put into him.

He is a bit loud, brazen, tries to talk big but you can see how much he looks for his upperclassmen's approval. He's making promises, he's trying to show the team that he's not cracking under the pressure, that he can brush it off too. He's challenging ushijima to prove he's fearless, to prove he's not daunted by the task everyone is expecting him to accept.

Some might read that and think I'm saying he's crumbling on the inside, that this pressure is breaking him into nothing but I wouldn't say crumbling. Hell, I don't think Goshiki could ever actually crumble. I think part of him believes this sense of confidence. I would say, though, that there is a voice in the back of his head that tells him he's not enough. Everytime he messes up, it sits in the back of his mind, every point missed he feels it. He knows he's giving his all but he wants to give more.

I love Goshiki Tsutomu and he is so often treated like a pet peeve of arrogance or Shiratorizawa's "baby" but think of it like this: Ushijima hates baseless confidence. He hates when someone's bark is louder than their bite, we see how he views Hinata for a start. Do you think he'd ever encourage Goshiki so honestly if he didn't have the potential to enhance Shiratorizawa?

Do you think Washijou would've even glanced at him if he wasn't something? Do you think Shirabu would set to someone who wouldn't score? Do you think anyone in the team would let him mess up and geek out if they didn't believe, deep down, he was as good as them?

When my mum watched Haikyuu with me, she said she found Goshiki arrogant, annoying and immature: it infuriated me and I could never quite articulate how she has misread him so much. Maybe on the surface he seems that way but it's because it is all on the surface. He is constantly trying to seem cool, for the validation and respect of his senpais, who do not seem to understand that the praise is really what he needs.

When Hinata compliments him, Goshiki shone and he performed with flying colours. The praise was all it took for him to change his mind on a dime and play with them and, not to mention, he was the designated leader of that training camp for sure!

He was the one everyone had their eyes on and he was the most advanced - you could tell that these players respected him and I hope he knew it, I hope it gave him the confidence boost he'd been lacking for so long ever since joining Shiratorizawa.

It got slightly off track at the end but I hope you followed :') I love my boy lol

[tio-trile]

came back here on tumblr after literal years just for gomens 2 stuff and i got a notif from you. I feel happy seeing your blog again,, so its so surprising for me that you disliked s2, purely just bc youre someone i consider as monumental to the entire fandom bc of your loyalty pre-TV era. so it's intriguing to know your thoughts abt the tv version.

i read your points and DAMN you reminded me of the stuff i didnt like back in s1 that I FORGOT bc so many years have passed since i watched + read the series. I forgot how much I loved bastard, asshole Aziraphale. TV him is characterized as 100% good, better than heaven dude which isn't bad.. and hes very fluffy and adorable. But i always liked the difference between that and crowley being a demon and yet nice. i always missed him calling him "my dear" too. If theyre gonna make them lovey dovey in TV, make him call him my dear damn it!!

As a book fan too, i personally loved s2. But reading your points made me realize it wasnt completely perfect so I respect your side. I do hope s3 turns out to be better than our expectations so you can tune back to it again. I just want you to have more content that you can enjoy even if it's completely new stuff. I understand the feeling so bad of having new stuff but being unable to enjoy it (a diff show for me). Makes you wonder what kind of plot he and Terry originally planned for all this fanservicey stuff to happen. I agree about the book part too, Crowley would never throw those around! The part with them meeting as angels, honestly I think it wouldve been better if they just didn't remember it so they wouldn't ruin their first meeting in the book. It would've been fine as a throwaway like "they met but don't remember."

With the finale,, hmmm I think TV!Azira's characterization def plays a part in why he did it. TV!him screams as someone who is still insecure about being an angel and losing his privileges. So he took the only opportunity he could to change heaven so he and Crowley could live in peace, after seeing Gabriel who is alr so powerful, be cast away after that decision. I'm curious though, how would you think book!him would think in this decision?? With an Armageddon 2 coming up again I can't imagine of anything else the two of them could do to fight it again w/o an influence in higher power.

Oh geez, I sure hope that nobody has notification on for my blog right now 😂 (or ever)...it'll be so annoying for them 🤣🤣 and honestly, I'm just some guy on the internet running a blog with no profit to gain from being "loyal" to a fandom, so I'm gonna truthfully share my opinions. And yeah like you said, it's possible to enjoy the book and the show at the same time, just taking into consideration that they are different media and characters. It's hard to imagine book!Aziraphale in this situation because there has been too many differences that led to this situation......and I just don't see book!Aziraphale in this situation, because to begin with, I don't think Gabriel would even go to him in times of trouble, lol. So let's say that Metatron directly went to him after everything had happened and Gabriel had already ran off and offered him the position (with an offer he can't refuse) -- I think he would have to accept on the surface, and then he would immediately go to Crowley to try to work their way out of it/figure out a way to keep the position but still slacks off all the time like he's always done 😂😂

[stressed-depressed-andobsessed]

Yo love your ideas! I was thinking of a Hamilton AU a few weeks ago! I saw Celeste as Maria because she's conning for money and a gaslighting queen, and Junko as the king watching as the country struggles for fun.

For heathers I see Chihiro for Martha cause they were bullied but meek and kind. Green heather as Celeste (Celeste is pissed about not getting the main Heather at first but does amazing), Sayaka as yellow heather cause she's a cheerleader and she can cry on command. And Mukuro as Veronica, pulling off the "I'm not pretty and I'm unpopular" until Junko gives her a makeover. Maybe one night Mukuro can't make it and Toko is her understudy and has to perform. I can see her singing "fight for me" really well (She never thought she'd actually have to perform and FREAKS out, but ends up killing it.) Hiro as the other football player with Leon (Taka REFUSES), and Asahina being the unhinged cheerful teacher. I see Taka being the dad singing "I love my dead gay sons" trying to turn his loss into something righteous to help others be more accepting. The other dad is just Hiro again with a stick on mustache and glasses. (Or maybe Hifume)

That's just my interpretation, I love seeing other people's ideas and having discussions with them! If you want, how would you cast them in "Be More Chill"?

YOOOO Big Brain Energy ^^^^^

Celeste and Junko being swapped is super clever, Celeste is a really good actor since she literally acts as CELESTIA LUDENBURG everyday and Junko being a condescending King and loving it as the wars break out is such a great fit for her!!

The Heathers swap outs are genius exemplary!!! Honestly, my interpretations were more about who I would've liked to personally see rather than who would fit the characters.

Celeste and Sayaka as Green and Yellow Heather respectively are amazing! I didn't take into account Sayaka's crying abilities, but it would make sense that she can activate those crocodile tears whenever she wants (or needs)!

Mukuro and Toko not even needing to act much because they are already socially awkward as it is is brilliant! Toko swooping in as the understudy is adorable, I love seeing situations that make Toko come out of her shell a little! (That's partly why I adore Despair Girls so much) Once she gets her stuttering a little bit under control, she would kill in Fight for Me. (Maybe if she imagines it's Byakuya she's singing to, it'll help her calm down more) The same goes for Mukuro, I'm sad that she has to be in her sister's shadow so much so it's nice when the fanbase lets her do things. (even though she's still kinda with her sister in the musical since Junko follows her around a lot)

I originally thought of Hiro and Leon being the Dumb Fuckboys (Kurt and Ram) together, it would make the most sense. I love the fact that you see the vision too!

Hina being the Chaotic teacher isn't something I originally thought of, but it would definitely fit! Nice catch! I can definitely see her putting her all into Ms. Fleming song about reading the suicide note and trying to make the kids express themselves (I forgot the song name) and really killing it!

Taka and Hiro being the Gay Dads is so funny. I DID NOT consider that for a second, but it has so much potential. If Hiro walked out in glasses and a mustache (and maybe that cliche brown hat) I would die. I think the whole cast would. That is so funny. I can imagine him quickly changing out of his underwear in the back, just for this one song. I love thinking about Taka singing the stupid 'I Love my Dead Gay Son' because it's such a silly song and he's so serious about everything so he would definitely be extremely serious about saying the song lines and-

Bravo! You've entertained me, your ideas are gold.

I'm so sorry, but I don't actually know much about Be More Chill. I've read the book twice, but didn't actually retain anything from it. I've never seen the musical/movie either and I don't really have an interest in it. Sorry again, I wish I did. All I remember is that there's some kind of drug/chip in someone's brain and there's a house party that leads to a fire.

[sapphire-weapon]

But it makes so much sense that these games aren't made for us and mostly for the male audience. I don't know why people seem to overthink its not. Do we honestly think Ada is dressing hot because that's her personality trait? Or why in original, you could 'look' up Ashley's skirt. Or Claire's ass shot in Darkside (?). Or why Jill wears a tube top in the original RE3 game. Sex sells.

When I got into video game fandoms, it was so clear, and it was unfortunate that they are based around and are for men.

people get really, really offended to think that content isn't being made specifically for them to cater to their specific wants and needs.

i said that leon asking shen mei to dinner was romantic/sexual in nature, and i got called aphobic for it for not considering that leon could be asexual, as though leon is a living human being with autonomy and not a cishet male character being written by a cishet male writer for a cishet male audience.

people get really uncomfortable when i say that it would've been irresponsible of capcom to not make eagleone canon in some way -- that the canonical elements of eagleone were included to cater to cishet men who will play the game and will project onto leon and want to fuck ashley -- that ashley was created specifically to be the perfect dream girl with the perfect body, the perfect face, and the perfect voice in order to cater to those cishet male fans. but it's just true. that's why capcom did a whole marketing thing to introduce fans to the three different women who make up ashley.

aeons hate being told that one of the major reasons why the remakes are retconning aeon is because capcom's target cishet male audience cares way more about the power fantasy of RE than any romance, and they complained that RE6 made leon look too much like a pussy simping over ada, so now capcom is course-correcting on that.

if you really want to understand RE as a series and where it's going in terms of character dynamics, you pretty much have to take a critical feminist reading of it. because RE is very much a boys' club that doesn't give a fuck about any of its other fans. not really.

you have to get out of your own ego and accept "these games are not being made for me" because if you don't, you will only ever end up disappointed and infuriated by later titles, blaming the devs for not understanding their own story.

but it's not the devs who don't understand.

it's you.

[licncourt]

moments in VC that alter my brain chemistry (in a good way)

I thought was a good idea so thank you to @prouvaireafterdark for tagging me in @msrandonstuff 's request for a list like this!

I have to specify "(in a good way)" because there is so much wtf nonsense in these books, but I will gladly do a separate "(in a bad way)" list if y'all want. These are mostly from the first two books because they're by FAR the best, but there are a couple from the third and from the last three. If you've seen my Loustat moments post, you've seen everything you need to see from the middle books.

I've included page numbers for all these, but they won't apply to every version of the books. Fortunately, I have a Google Drive folder of VC book PDFs that these correspond to linked here

Spoilers, obviously.

Louis' turning in Interview with the Vampire p. 22-24 (romantic, sexy horror at its finest)

THE PROSTITUTE SCENE in IWTV p. 83-94 (an abridged version is in the 1994 movie, but the AMC show replaced it, rather anticlimactically imo, with the tenor scene. I have a breakdown of what makes the OG version so incredible right here)

Claudia's turning in IWTV p. 97-101 (while I understand the reasoning behind the changes in the AMC show, I prefer the book version. Additional Claudia spoilers here)

Louis' confession and slaughter of the priest in IWTV p. 154-156 (still heartbroken that this was storyboarded but cut from the movie, AMC better give it to me)

Claudia's "murder" of Lestat in IWTV p. 143-145 (gaslight gatekeep girlboss)

Louis and Lestat's brief reunion at the end of IWTV p. 340-346 (fucking brutal, iconic though and way gayer than the movie version)

The intro of The Vampire Lestat p. 1-3 (the first page is written, I swear to you, in the style of My Immortal, but I love it)

Lestat's first date with Nicolas as mortals in TVL p. 30-35 (Loustat is everything but human Nickistat is soooo baby)

Lestat's turning in TVL p. 63-66 (big CW for non-con, but a amazingly chilling scene)

Lestat finds the dungeon of Magnus' tower in TVL p. 77-79 (such a great horror moment)

Nicolas' condemnation of Lestat in TVL p. 198-201 (heartbreaking but such a watershed moment)

Lestat's recollections of Louis and Claudia in TVL p. 385-388 (THEY!!!!!!)

LOUSTAT REUNION FR THIS TIME in TVL p. 403-411 (this is the most important part of VC actually. Nothing else matters)

Lestat's rock concert in TVL p. 412-417 (he is so stupid but good for him)

Armand turning Daniel, the interviewer from IWTV, in Queen of the Damned p. 62-65 (the whole chapter this is from, The Devil's Minion, is amazing and one of the most loved parts of VC, so honestly just read it all)

Louis and Lestat visit NOLA in QotD p. 270-273 (this is where you should stop reading. Nothing is gained past this point)

Louis and Lestat express their feelings for real in Prince Lestat p. 508 (this is on my Loustat moments post, but it has to be here too)

Louis lets go of his grief and accepts happiness at the end of PL p. 518-525 (Louis was in Anne Rice character jail for almost forty years but YES YES THE TIGER IS OUT)

Louis and Lestat commit to each other permanently in Prince Lestat and the Realms of Atlantis p. 131-141 (so many incredible Loustat things packed in here. All that makes this book justified in its existence)

Louis and Lestat live happily ever after in Blood Communion p. 282-284 (If it wasn't for this after All That Shit, I would've had to smash my face into concrete)

[donpishya]

Okay, of all the posts on Napoleonic wars and America, why is no one talking about Ned Pakenham?

Been a bit obsessed with Wellington's brother-in-law: Edward "Ned" Pakenham, since reading the book "Tom, Ned, and Kitty". Really sad there isn't a lot of talk about him. Apparently, Ned and Wellington were SUPER close and Wellington put a lot of faith and trust in him in battle (Both were part of the Second Battle of Copenhagen and the Peninsula War.)

I like how the book describes Ned as "the darling of the family" and that "such a young man so tall so handsome so genteel is rare to be seen". He's described as having a sunny, optimistic outlook. Though he had no trouble showering praise on others, he'd often be too embarrassed to accept praise himself, even when he was made a Knight of the Bath (A SUPER high honor in Britain) for his valor at Salamanca.

It's funny how the book describes him as having "such a gentle, handsome face, with large expressive eyes and an almost girlish complexion" Like, apparently the dude was prettier than many girls (Wellington's marriage might've been better had he married this Pakenham instead of Kitty, lol)

Speaking of Kitty, Ned was actually the only reason Kitty and Wellington tried to get along, they both loved Ned and Ned always tried to help keep their marriage good. As soon as Ned died, so did Wellington's and Kitty's relationship.

Also, the dude really didn't tolerate depravity within British ranks. He was particularly harsh on soldiers trying to assault local women and always hated seeing unecessary destruction and civilians get caught in the crossfire of battle. Wellington always took comfort in Ned's chivalric nobility in the face of the deprivation he'd see on the war front.

Wellington was initially in mind to be sent to New Orleans, but it passed to Pakenham since he had more experience in the Americas. There are letters specifically detailing that Pakenham shouldn't worry about the treaty negotiations happening in Ghent and should take the Mississippi river so the American claim to the Louisiana territory could be contested.

Let me repeat that: PAKENHAM WAS ORDERED TO IGNORE THE TREATY NEGOTIATIONS SO THE BATTLE OF NEW ORLEANS WAS NOT "POINTLESS". Besides, signing the treaty didn't stop the war, it had to get ratified by Congress in February, THEN it stopped the war.

Pakenham didn't want to go, sympathetic to the American plight, but an order was an order and he did as he was told. The failed attack on New Orleans was not really Pakenham's fault (honestly I'm not sure Wellington would've fared much better) since the British had already made several blunders before Ned's arrival and Jackson did everything in his power to put them at a disadvantage. The two-pronged attack he went with was a pretty smart plan, there were just unforeseen circumstances that got in the way.

Wellington had held Pakenham in high regard and was deeply saddened by news of his death, commenting:

We have but one consolation, that he fell as he lived, in the honourable discharge of his duty and distinguished as a soldier and a man. I cannot but regret that he was ever employed on such a service or with such a colleague... The Americans were prepared with an army in a fortified position which still would have been carried, if the duties of others...had been as well performed as that of he whom we now lament.

Even Andrew Jackson couldn't help but lament Pakenham's death and stated in a letter to Monroe:

Thereafter I saw Pakenham reel and pitch out of his saddle...I did not know where General Pakenham was lying or I should have sent to him, or gone in person, to offer any service in my power to render. I was told he lived two hours after he was hit.

Ned was never married. There is a memorial statue of him in St. Paul's Cathedral.

I only knew about Pakenham in the context of the battle of New Orleans. I've heard about him being a very honorable person, being made a Knight of the Bath and stuff.

I didn't know he was such a gentle and nice person, also being literally the only reason Wellington and Kitty trying to get together...🥺

It makes me sad knowing how he died on that battlefield...

At least there's a memorial statue of him, it's better than having nothing🥹

[sirellas]

Left Hand of Destiny (1&2) stream of consciousness review

Overall thoughts: I really liked this book! Or technically 2 books but the second is just the continuation of the first so in my head it was just one long book (~500 pages all in all). This is only the second trek book I've read and also the second written by the actor who played the character in ds9 (shoutout to ASIT, though this one has a non-actor co-writer as well), but even beyond the star trekking of TLHOD, this was a really good read in terms of writing style, pace, emotion. It was very action and character focused which I enjoyed, and especially the characterization of Martok was so great and obviously JG Hertzler had a lot of thoughts about the character he played that translated really well on page.

The memory alpha article on TLHOD says this but I didn't really start to see it until the last half of book 2, but this is very much a King Arthur story (btw don't look at that memory alpha page unless you don't care about major spoilers lol). Down to a lady in the lake handing out mythical swords. That instance was a little heavy handed in my opinion, but I did like all of the prophetic dreams and talk of glorious purpose.

That's something to note though: if you don't like dream sequences, this is not the book for you. There are A LOT of dreams. In fact the opening scene is a dream, but it's now my new favorite opening line in a book because it jumps right in by telling you who this guy is and what his deal is:

I personally am a big fan of overt symbolism like this (even a well done cliché or two), myths and repeating cycles of heroism etc etc. And I think this book melded Arthurian drama with Klingon drama well. The Klingon-ness of this book was great. What better way to get to the heart of Klingon culture in a story but by focusing on the guy chosen to lead his people and getting it ripped out from beneath his feet and having to decide that he actually wants to be chancellor. In a lot of ways this is a story of outcasts finding their way back to where they belong, which isn't always what they expect or want in the beginning. Which leads me to...

The supporting characters really made this book. Without Pharh the Ferengi who got bullied for being as ugly as a Klingon as a child and now runs a landfill on Qo'noS, there would be no book. He's my favorite (little buddy coded to the extreme) but most of the major side characters are really well explored in terms of motivation and actions. Worf, Sirella, Ezri, Darok, Kahless, Alexander, to name a few. Alexander and Kahless were two of my other surprise standouts. And because no one who hasn't read this book knows about my new favorite guy Pharh, I will now include a couple passages I highlighted to spread the word about how great he is:

Wide array of well developed side characters aside, this book is awful for women. Yes the main antagonist is Martok's insane ex, but her character is kind of too outlandish to really have much depth. Ezri shows up at the end of book 1 and plays a big part in book 2 but honestly I'm not sure why she was even there (apart from loyalty etc, but I mean story-wise she didn't add all that much to keep the action moving ((anyone else could have been subbed in for her 9 out of 10 times and it would've made more sense tbh)) except to be another explainer of Klingon things to the reader). Sirella has a few great scenes, but not nearly enough and she wasn't allowed to do much either in terms of agency and impact on plot. Martok's two daughters are barely afterthoughts.

The main plot is that a usurper attacks Qo'noS (and specifically goes after Martok), swaying the Klingon people to their side through a combo of bioengineered charisma and the people's growing resentment toward progressive ideas that Martok (and Worf) represents. That's really only the problem in book 1, while book 2 deals more with Martok accepting the hand fate has dealt and deciding to win so they can save the decaying Klingon heart and so on. But even with the kind of cheesy setup, it rarely felt overwrought or unearned with the emotional beats. The antagonist lady is, yeah, she's a bit over the top. And before 2016 I would've said the quick flip to xenophobia and Make Klingons Great Again (I'm pretty sure they use that phrase almost exactly) in the general public was unrealistic but hey, cycles of destiny and evil constantly shifting and repeating, am I right??

There were... quite a few deaths. I guess I should've expected that, being a Klingon setting and all, but some of them hit me hard. And a few I don't think really needed to happen and kind of weakened the narrative.... maybe I'll put a spoiler section below a cut at the bottom of this to discuss those 🤪

This paragraph will haunt me for a while I think... 😀 sorry for inflicting it on others now but hey that's show business

Even with some hiccups (see spoiler section below), I loved the book pretty much. Shocker: tumblr user girlmartok loves the Martok book, but it was better than I had hoped even. The Martok focus was so good and the side characters just made it even better. Much more of a heroic fantasy than most star trek settings, which fit really well and also was refreshing. It's long! But I would recommend it if you have any interest in Klingons and/or fun little guys who go on adventures and think a lot about death.

SPOILERS ⬇️

Okay ripping the bandaid off. The way Sirella died was not chill. I mean even having her die was not something I would have included, because the story really didn't dive all that deep into her and Martok's relationship. But ramming an enemy ship so Martok could flee near the beginning of book 2... and she doesn't even kill any major bad guys doing it?? It just served no point narratively (the bad guys still outnumbered them, still caught up to them not long after) and it didn't even really affect Martok all that much beyond like one paragraph where he wants to turn around and go on a murder spree in her name... He doesn't even get to go on a murder spree in her name!!!

Bandaid rip #2: PHARH MY LITTLE BABY BOY DIES???? I was glad I had forewarning about this one because I would've been mad otherwise. I am not exaggerating saying he was my second favorite character in this book after Martok. The humor he added, yes, but also just his role as an outsider who's seen as weak by both Ferengi and Klingon, and he befriends the chancellor of the Klingon Empire, HOLDS ONTO THE CHANCELLOR'S RING FOR MOST OF THE BOOK AND BECOMES HIS SQUIRE BASICALLY 🫠💔 I don't know how anyone wouldn't fall in love with him. At least his death was done well, even though I don't think it should have happened. He at least got a murderous rampage in his name 😤 and Martok basically adopted him so he could get into Sto'vo'kor 🥺

Those were my main two criticisms of the book, and really ties into why this wasn't as great a story as ASIT, for example. A lot of things happen to Martok, but some things don't get the resolution they would need to influence him on this character journey he's going on. One of Martok's defining characteristics in ds9 is that he's a wife guy and his wife doesn't take bullshit. But then his wife dies suddenly and he's upset but he's not Upset upset, if you know what I mean. It didn't feel earned and it didn't feel necessary. Literally the first and only time it did feel like a reasonable plot device was at the very end when Worf tells him that people love a tragic victor even more than a victory. The problem is just that Martok doesn't ever explore what that tragedy really means to him.

Justice for Shen and Lazhna, Martok's daughters, who in addition to dying off screen are only brought up to highlight how shitty of a dad Martok has been. He just thinks of them (and his son Drex too but he gets more characterization solely by virtue of appearing in the narrative) in terms of himself and his love for them is more on the side of pity rather than real emotional attachment. Sirella should've been way meaner to him about that tbh.

Non character death related but a big focus of the first book was Martok losing public opinion pretty much immediately. Old friends turn against him and that really shakes him. But then in the second book... that's not really brought up again? The whole second book takes place away from Qo'noS, and yeah they mention that people will probably become less affected by the dumb bioengineered charisma after time, but I cannot stress enough how much the entire planet hated him. So he won the big battle against his foes etc etc, came back to Qo'noS and... just told everyone all that?? That goes along with the lack of fully exploring the consequences of some of these bad things that happen to Martok. It felt like a little too much piled on him and not enough resolution.