#honestly when i first read this book i think i was younger than billy in the war

[destyni-is-me]

01/24/2024

This semester I am taking a class called "Form and Technique in Prose" and we have four books we'll be reading during it.

The first book for the class that I just finished reading (which I have read before but long enough ago that I forgot a lot lol) and the second book I read this year so far was Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Honestly, I've been meaning to read this one again for awhile so I'm glad school gave me the opportunity to do it. The style of the book is so interesting and pretty unique- with the first person narration in the first chapter that occasionally pops itself back in throughout different parts of the story, the constant jumping around Billy Pilgrim's life, the way that small, seemingly unimportant details are constantly mentioned throughout until they gain meaning through the repetition, the ambiguous nature of the sci-fi elements mixed with the harsh and detailed reality of war... the book is a 10/10, definitely one that people should read at least once in their life I think.

[elliaze]

Don't take my love away | j. velaryon

Warnings: spoiler! for the book, HEAVY!angst, twincest (let's be honest they are targaryen), their age has been changed, mention of sex (nothing descriptive), inspiration from Billie Eillish - CHIHIRO

Word Count: +1900

MASTERLIST

She remembered their first kiss. 

Innocent, because it was both their first time doing it.

Forbidden, because they shouldn't do it.

Jace was her twin brother. He was born just a few minutes after her. They were always together.

Maybe that was why it seemed inevitable. Or maybe that night, when they were both two–and–ten and fought with Aemond, they needed each other more than usual. 

Which wasn't true, because they had spent every moment together for years. 

Maybe it was the emotions that were running through them. Certainly hers, because even though the stealing of Vhagar was behind them, the maesters had dressed the wound on Jace's head and the one she had on her forehead, the adrenaline was still pumping through them. 

She remembered that they had both escorted Lucerys to his chambers and waited until their younger brother had fallen asleep from exhaustion. That evening – or even that morning – they both said Luce had been incredibly brave in standing up for them and taking Aemond's eye. They had also known that, as his older siblings, they should have been defending him, not the other way. They both felt a pang of guilt, and maybe that was the reason they had kissed.

She remembered that when they had finally reached Jacaerys's chambers, he had kept saying that he should have been faster, braver, more observant. He panicked, and she was afraid her brother wouldn't be able to control his breathing.

And then she kissed him. It had been a completely innocent kiss, but it had also been a confirmation that they meant so much more to each other than mere siblings.

She remembered his first touch. One where he touched her like a man could touch a woman.

They were six–and–ten, and the whole act seemed uncertain, even awkward. They didn't know what they were doing, and all they thought about was being as close to each other as possible.

This time, it wasn't just emotions that influenced it. They were completely aware of what they were doing and didn't think for a moment about stopping it. 

They wanted each other, their kisses and touch.

They didn't care about the consequences, or that they shouldn’t have done it. They both knew that sooner or later they would be forced to marry someone neither of them loved, and they shouldn't get so attached to each other when it was only a matter of time before they had to part ways.

But they couldn't stop. 

The thought of not being by each other's side was destroying their hearts to the core.

She remembered the first I love you he said to her, not as a brother, but as a man.

It was the day their mother found out about their forbidden affair and she couldn't do anything else but announce that they would get married. That evening, Jace came to her chamber, or rather rushed inside. She was sitting nervously in front of her mirror and combing her hair, when the sound of the door opening made her turn around.

“Jace…” she started, but he was quickly at her side. He grabbed her by the shoulders, lifting her up, and then placed his hands on her cheeks. “What are you doing?"”

“I just wanted you to know how much I love you,” he confessed as honestly as she had never heard it. She felt as if her whole insides were melting under the influence of his words, as well as his gaze full of love and devotion. “You are my whole world. My life. Without you, there is no me. I love you like nothing else. I love you more than I love myself. You are the only one. You will always be.”

She had tears in her eyes when she heard his words, and at the same time she was unable to stop the charming smile and the blush that spread across her cheeks. She was happy and finally understood all those love stories she had read. In books, the couple in love were never related to each other, but in their case, she thought that it only worked in their favour.

It was inevitable.

“I love you too, Jacaerys. And I don't want to live without you. You’re everything I have and what matters to me. Our hearts are connected forever.” She confessed a moment before she connected their lips.

The kiss was calm at first, as if she just wanted to confirm her words with it. However, it quickly turned into a hot, lustful one. Her hands quickly landed in his curls, and his lifted her nightgown to her waist and stopped at her completely exposed thighs and hips. Jace lifted her up and led them to her bed. He laid her on the satin sheets, joining her immediately.

This time they knew exactly what they were doing. They both knew their bodies and knew how to extract the sweetest sounds of pleasure from each other. Their hands were clasped together the whole time, as if to make sure that it was real. She felt shivers every time he kissed her body, and Jace did not hold back to show her that everything she did was the sweetest pleasure for him.

When he entered her, their eyes met and they both connected their lips in a thirsty kiss. Their bodies moved in complete sync, as if this was what they were made for – to be together in the most intimate way possible, the closest they could be. She saw stars in her eyes, and when she came with his name on her lips, and Jace right after her, she thought this was exactly what she wanted. 

A future with Jacaerys. 

She saw them together, their children, and the whole happy, long life that lay ahead of them.

But that future didn't include them being embroiled in a bloody war. The Dance of the Dragons, they called it.

From the very beginning, they had to deal with the loss of loved ones. Lucerys, Rhaenys... Death came to them one by one, and both feared that it would eventually come for them. But every time it didn't, the fear was still there. Maybe it was their stupid luck that kept them alive. Or – as she liked to say – this world wouldn't be able to accept their deaths. They had to live because they loved each other so much that they wouldn't be able to survive without the other.

And she was rarely wrong.

And yet, this time she was.

The Battle of the Gullet was completely chaotic. The Velaryon fleet was fighting against the Triarchy with exceptional ferocity. But she didn't pay attention to which side had the upper hand at the moment. Her only goal was to find Jacaerys and Vermax. 

She didn't think she should even be there. Even though Vermithor, who had been her companion for many years, burned every enemy ship to ashes, giving the Velaryon fleet a slight advantage, all she could do was look around for the sight of the familiar dragon and its rider.

She remembered how the four of them had gone for rides many times. The young Vermax had always been relatively witty and ready to have fun with Vermithor. The old dragon might seem to ignore his younger brethren, but in the end, the two were very much bonded, in the same way as their riders.

Finally, she spotted Vermax, and somewhere on his back sat Jacaerys. Bolts and arrows flew towards them, and her heart was pounding as she realised that Jacaerys was too low and much more vulnerable to attack. She needed to do everything she could to protect them together with Vermithor, not even caring about her own safety.

However, she was unable to stop the bolts that hit Vermax. The dragon let out a terrible scream and began to fall down with its rider.

“JACE!” She screamed in horror. Her eyes misted and tears filled, and at that moment Vermithor was responsible for what had to be done. He fell down after the dead dragon, and all she could see was Vermax's body falling into the water. 

"We have to find him" she said to the dragon and Vermithor just screamed loudly and breathed fire that consumed one of the enemy ships. They circled for a while looking for Jacaerys until she finally managed to spot him on the beach not far from the fight. She could hear the sounds of battle clearly, so when she saw Jace standing on his own two feet, she knew she had to get him out of there as soon as possible before someone realised he was still alive.

Vermithor landed hard on the beach, and she slid down on his wing and ran to her brother. 

Jace was weak and wet. She also noticed an arrow in his arm, but the wound didn't seem serious enough to prevent them from escaping together.

“Y/N” she didn't hear him say her name, but she saw his lips moving. 

Jace breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that she was okay, and she did everything to get to him as quickly as possible. 

They were only a few metres away. 

A few steps away and then she would be able to take him in her arms and save him.

However, fate can be cruel. It takes away what we love without warning.

Neither she nor Jace noticed the arrow that was shot straight into his back. Jace stopped mid–step and staggered on his feet, and she had the impression that he was experiencing some worst nightmare. However, she didn't give up and still believed that they had a chance to survive. That she would manage to save him and get him to Dragonstone, where the maester would heal every wound on his body. 

There was still a chance. 

She believed in it with every fiber of her being, because if she lost him, she would die with him.

She was almost there when another arrow whistled. Jace watched her as she approached, as if he knew what was about to happen. 

There was no other thought in his head but her.

They had come into the world together. And she was also supposed to be there when he was about to leave it.

“Y/N” he ​​said to her before the last arrow hit his neck.

Jace fell, and she caught him in her arms at the last moment.

“Jace?” She whispered nervously, her voice breaking. “Jaecerys, wake up!” She touched his face, and his skin was still hot, just like it was always when she touched her. Hot dragon blood. “Jace, I beg you. I can’t live in a world without you.”

Her prayers were in vain, and when she kissed him for the last time, he was already dead.

She remembered their first kiss, touch, and declaration of love.

But she never wanted to remember the last time she tasted his lips, how he looked at her with love and told her he loved her. Their story had no right to end in such a drastic way.

They were only twenty. Their whole lives ahead of them. They deserved more time. 

They were supposed to be king and queen after they helped their mother get back what was rightfully hers. 

He had no right to die in front of her, and above all, to leave her alone in this cruel world.

She never believed in gods, but if one of them stood before her and asked her what she wanted, her answer would be only one.

Don’t take my love away from me.

She didn’t want to stay in this world when he was gone.

[disco-cola]

i was about to watch the last two eps of daisy jones and decided to really get back into the mood for the finale even tho ive read the book and am sure theyre not gonna change the entire outcome but i want to prolong finishing the show i guess but anyway i decided to start over and just binge it from the start with a bit of skipping and remember like a week or two ago when i made a post saying i dont get the criticism about the actors looking "too old" bc the fact that this is not a group of teens is more relatable and in the book they indeed were in their mid/late 20s-early 30s (it was written daisy was born in 1951 and billy apparently 1947 bc he said his dad left the family in '54 when he was 7 years old) and so graham must have been around daisys age or just a year or two older and im sure warren and eddie were the same age as him but the majority of the original plot took place in the mid-late 70s with the big concert where they broke up being in 1979 in the book which would've made daisy 27/28 at that point and billy 31/32 and the rest of the band in between but i just noticed in my rewatch of the first episode they actually DID MAKE THEM SEVERAL YEARS YOUNGER for the show even though the actors playing them are mostly even older than their initial book ages in real life? like in the show daisy is just 15 in 1968 and billy must be around 17 or 18 i think it seems (and honestly now kinda understand bc by 1970 the main actors took over and they do kinda look too grown up to play 17-20 year olds i mean of course they do some of them were like ten+ years older than that in real life thats natural) but they also set the breakup concert two years earlier in 1977 instead of 1979 which would make daisy only like 24 at that point instead of like 28 as in the book like why is hollywood so obsessed with de-aging characters?? the whole fact that for once it was a whole group of characters around my age or a little older hitting it big was kind of comforting bc i am sick of being fed the whole concept of having to be real young to be successful??

[mandareeboo]

ok now im curious what your most petty thing is (regarding the dp post)

Oooh boy, here we go! Buckle up fuckers this is gonna be a longer one.

My senior year of high school, I took a creative writing class. Partially because I needed to fill the slot, mostly because I wanted to improve my writing (spoiler: I did not). Now, my high school was a three floor building- first was mostly gym, second was general, and the third was senior lockers and art classes. I spent a good chunk of my schedule senior year on the second and third floor, going between an art class to my earth science (I took that one entirely as filler, but also bc I like science) to my locker and so on.

Creative writing? Creative writing was in the fucking basement. Go to the first floor, go to a corner generally used for health and development classes, to another corner, follow a ramp and some stairs, and boom there it is kind of basement. (Side note but this teacher was REALLY into attendance and would get you in trouble if you were late which was really annoying since basically no other class was in that part of the building).

My creative writing teacher wasn't bad, per se. I've had worse teachers. I had an algebra teacher who delighted in making freshman girls cry and mocking them for it. I had a journalism teacher who would use her class time reporting how Hilary was secretly ill during the election. I had a history teacher say trans people weren't real to an openly gender nonconforming student (I didn't know them well enough to ask for specifics on their alignment, but they were using they/them at that point) and set up assignments just to mock students on the take they were told to make. It was more that she was uncreative and took it out on the kids doing creative writing.

She gave us two books to read. Basically “how I write” by published authors. I don’t remember the first one well enough and I donated it ages ago, but the second was Stephen King’s “On Writing”. It was 3/4′s personal stories about his life and 1/4′s “also write a bit every day”.  I mostly remember the first author bc she had those fake dreadlocks white people do when they destroy their hair and she gleefully told a story about making her son have a meltdown at a party or wedding or something bc he got overwhelmed and she wanted him to learn that “sometimes you don’t get what you want”. So. You know. Not much there.

She also instructed us to write in a journal every day, which she would check every few months or so. It had to be at least half a page. She would leave little comments in every one else’s journals when she checked them, but not mine- I realized pretty quickly she was a bit uncomfortable with LGBT+ content, so I made it my mission to make every journal drabble as gay as possible bc I was bored and she couldn’t mark them WRONG when she just stated we needed to write.

But it doesn’t end there! Through the entire class, we got exactly five writing projects. Stories that follow very specific guidelines that we would then read in front of the class, group proofread, and then have the teacher give final grades for. These things were approximately like a thousand words a piece, and I was writing out my 10,000 word “It Starts off Small” story in class when I got bored, so it wasn’t difficult. 

Our first project was a character going through a difficult decision. Or... something? I honestly forget the criteria. Anyway, I was HYPE. I’d had this idea for a long time now a human choosing between peaceful death or reincarnation, and this gave me the push to write it! I had a whole thing planned with death being a deer and reincarnation being a wolpertinger (bc reincarnation leads to many possibilities, ed boy, so a Frankenstein bunny made sense to me). Anyway I poured my heart and soul into this bastard and, bright eyed and bushy tailed, handed it in. My classmates all thought it was pretty good. Not to toot m’own horn, but there was some pretty bad ones going in, so I thought I’d get a solid B or something.

I got a D. I guess the struggle was too metaphorical, or it didn’t perfectly fit her criteria. I was devastated. Then I was mad. Bc I was a bored senior who thought they’d made something pretty decent for this completely optional class and her refusal to see that really hurt me at sixteen (I was always a year younger than my other classmates, so despite being a senior I didn’t turn eighteen until almost a year after graduation)

Well, fuck it, I decided. I’m going to parody the shit out of this class.

Our next project was a fantasy story. I was bitter and grumpy. The other fantasy stories read aloud were stuff like “yeah this dude fought a wizard and got a girl, then they went home and banged” (this was not hyperbole, he would’ve written and read the smut if allowed, I knew him personally) and “this girl that NO ONE UNDERSTOOD was called CRAZY but this S@!$ cheerleader who Stole Her Boyfriend so she killed them all” (fun fact: the girl who wrote that was my age and a sort of half-friend from middle school. She was a yaoi fangirl who didn’t mind lesbians as long as they, you know, didn’t FLIRT with her or something.) 

So I get up there. It’s the last day of presentations. And I present with a polite cheer. My story is about two magical shepherd type figures who are called Sister Brighten and Brother Dick as they chase down a werewolf who was drunk off his ass and accidentally bit someone else. They then revealed they were basically supernatural designated drivers for the whole town. I made Brighten mention that Dick’s name wasn’t even Richard. I titled it “His Favorite Brand is Grayhound”. It fit every single criteria. I got an A. I could tell she didn’t want to, because there was no comments or anything like everyone else’s, but she had to follow her own criteria.

Our third was a conjoined effort thing so I didn’t pull any fuckery there, but the fourth one was about common myths and spinning them into real or fake. One girl did the hook-handed door handle thing and the boyfriend ended up above his truck hanging (somehow???). I think someone did the age-old adage of a haunted wedding dress? I kind of read through those presentations. 

Now, I’m salty-salty at this point. I wasn’t expecting His Favorite Brand is Grayhound to get me a good grade. I half-assed a lot of it. I am in full Not Happy Teenager at this point. I grab a daddy long leg and settle in.

My fourth story of the year is “Paperskin.”

Paperskin is about a boy named Billy with the thinnest skin membrane ever. Just full on body horror. You could see his teeth behind his lips. Billy gets bored one day and wanders out of his house, tries to kick a soccer ball, and breaks a leg. As he’s laying in the grass a daddy long leg bites him- and his skin is so flimsy the fangs sink in and he dies. I’m actually still pretty proud of Paperskin. It’s a horrifying, Edgar Allen Poe of a monstrosity, but it made people squirm, which was the point. The teacher is clearly a bit unnerved at this point, but she gives me another A. 

I wrote a more “normal” story after that of a contentious objector forced to house kids going to see if any confirmed soldier deaths were any of their parents as my final one and I could feel her spite as she gave me a B.

So, yeah. That’s the story of when I tormented my creative writing teacher with The Gays and my weird ass sense of humor after she called one of my best works at that age a piece of shit.

 Here’s a google drive of these bad boys, because yes I do still have these things. I turned these fuckers in for grades, people.

[metalheadcowboy]

can you please elaborate on the Quiet Place au idea because I literally just watched the second movie and you have my full attention rn

You say that like I haven’t been just waiting for someone to ask me 😭😭 (Also let me know what you thought of the ending of the second movie because I’m curious about what other people think of they’ve seen the movie because personally I hated it 😭)

-Okay, so in my AU I would love for the whole gang to be there, y’know, the kids, the teens, but I don’t think it’s realistic. So, it only revolves around Billy and his family + Steve and his mom as I said before. (Though, maybe they find others, but not all later?? 👀)

-Steve’s home acts as the safe haven. After the death of his father, Steve and his mom sound proofed the house, quite literally. They took out anything that could possibly trigger a noise, thus lead the monster to them. They made it so basically all hardwood and tile in the home was covered in different patterned carpets, whatever they found abandoned in their ransacked apartments. They even went as far as to take out unnecessary doors in their house leaving only the ones leading to the outside.

-Steve’s mom is the one who lets the Hargroves into their home after Neils death, much to Steve’s own dismay. Steve doesn’t see the family as a threat so much as he sees the size of their group being their downfall. In his mind, more people equals more noise, equals death. And did he really want to risk the safety of him and his mother for Billy Hargrove? Hell no, but for Max Mayfield? Maybe. So, they stay.

-Also Steve’s mom is a total badass, like, she’s not afraid to get her hands dirty and to fight to til the end. And, honestly, Steve’s surprised, because it’s never a side he’s seen to her, only ever seeing the part of her that submits to his father. But, now that his father’s not around and it’s her child‘s life at risk, she’s all in

-The same cannot be said for Susan, somehow being even more submissive than Mrs. Harrington. She’s sort of lost without someone to guide her and tell her what to do. She’s not good at making decisions, taking action, or anything that takes a ton of initiative. BUT, she is damn good at mending wounds, having a degree in nursing that, really, went to waste, she’s well equipped on the basics, which is normally enough.

-Billy and Max are the ones who find themselves in trouble the most, both thinking they can handle things all on their own, only to be proven wrong when The rest of them are picking up the pieces.

-Steve is the brains of the operation, because, what he lacks in book smarts he more than makes up for in street smarts. He could basically draw a map of Hawkins simply from memory if anyone asked, knowing the place like the back of his hand. He tracks the radio every day for any sort of possible transmission, he knows his way around pretty much anything that can be made into a weapon, also he’s pretty good at reading people which doesn’t seem like it’s come in handy at a time like this, but you’d be surprised once they escape the realm of Hawkins how helpful it really is.

-Billy and Steve are at odds for a long time, months, getting along only when they have to, and other times just ignoring each other’s existence. They don’t even really start to talk until Steve quite literally saved Billy’s life. Until Billy ripped his calf right open on a barbed wire gate and Steve was the only one strong enough to sit on his chest and hold a washcloth soaked in chloroform to sedate him long enough to get him back to his house without screaming. Billy is the one to make the first move after waking up in Steve’s bed with a throbbing pain in his bandaged calf to Steve running gentle fingers through his hair about to be even sweatier from hissing and panting in pain. After Steve quickly lets him go, pretending like he wasn’t just petting the younger boy like a cat Billy brings up his hands to sign. Nothing more than “Thank you” because he knew that was one of the few things Steve knew the meaning of, but it made him smile. Smile wider than he had since the beginning of this whole ordeal and in turn it made Billy smile too.

-After a while they just end up staring a bed, the floor giving Billy cramps and effecting his physical performance which is the last thing they need. And Steve swears he’d never admit it, but he almost cries when Billy’s warm back presses his own because he hasn’t felt so warm and so safe in so long.

-Billy’s damn skilled as using a gun, so usually if the alien gets close, Steve will be the distraction and Billy will start shooting to buy them more time.

-Max slowly teaches Steve how to sign, something she and Billy picked up long before all of this so they could talk without Neil finding out what they were saying. (I also really like the idea of deaf Max idk how you feel about that butttt,,, 👀👀)

-Sometimes Billy and Steve will let under the stars and whisper about what they’ll do once this is all over, thinking hopefully, even though, quite honestly, they both know neither one of them will make it out in the long run.

I have many more thoughts butttttt I’ll leave these here,,,

[murderslugs]

Slasher Bf/Gf Scenarios/Imagines! || Meeting Them

Jason Voorhees (Friday The 13th)

You were out with friends, and it was getting awfully late. But still, there you were, with a flashlight and a backpack with a first-aid kit, some snacks, and water in it, just in case, walking through the abandoned camping trail with your friends. You guys had grown up in a town not too far away from the little old camp, and you’d heard all the stories that surrounded the place. For years you had just dismissed it, you all had passed it off as a local legend or rumor, but still there was a little spark of curiosity. Of course, this is what led you to where you reside now, exploring the camp in search of something peculiar, maybe a story to tell.

“Maybe we should go home...It’s late and I’m not feeling well..” your friend, Ruby, said wearily. It was true, you could see the illness in her dark, drooping eyelids. “Oh, bullshit! You’re fine, just drink some water and go throw up on a tree or something!” another friend yelled out. You just rolled your eyes. “Shut up! She doesn’t look too good, Otis! I think I should bring her back to the car to sit down.” You said with concern. To the dismay and groaning of the group, they let you and Ruby on your way back down the trail and to the car while they continued down the path. 

As you made your way to the car, Ruby fell close behind in your steps. Your flashlight flickered continually, and then suddenly gave out; leaving you two in the dark, and the pale moon barely illuminating through the trees above you. “Shit,” you muttered to yourself, hitting the battery pack to the light repeatedly. “Stop, quiet,” Ruby whisper-shouted. That’s when you heard the rustling of the branches getting closer. Closer. Closer. “Maybe we shou…” You turn around, to see Ruby gone. 

“Ruby? Ruby?!” You shouted out, to no response. You turned frantically, searching for any sign of her presence. A large man in a ski mask and an old, ruined jacket stood before you, silent. Before you could turn to run or get around him, you felt a sudden pressure on the side of your head, and then you saw black.

Michael Myers (Halloween)

It was Halloween night, and you were home from college for fall break. Your mom insisted that you took your younger sister trick-or-treating, even though you refuted that she was 12 years old, and could handle herself. So, you just took her block to block instead and sat on the corner of the street for her to walk down to the other end and get to all the houses. It was a small town, so there were never really concerns about kidnapping and such. It was just never a problem, you guess. 

“Go, Riley. You’re a big kid, you can go down the street.” You groaned, tired of her constant whining. “But (y/nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn), It’s dark down there!! There’s not a street light at the end!!” she whined insistently. You sighed heavily and pulled your phone out of your pocket. “Here. You can use the flashlight on my phone, just don’t snoop through my info.” You told her, handing over the old smartphone, and pulling a pumpkin-shaped sucker from her trick-or-treat bag. “You owe me this.” 

You unwrapped the cheap candy and popped it into your mouth, leaning on the house fence as your sister skipped down the sidewalk. The leaves rustled in the trees, and suddenly you heard footsteps behind you, and whipped around to see who it was. It was on the quieter side of town, and it was getting late. This meant that there shouldn’t be many people out, so there shouldn’t be someone behind you. But still, you came face-to-chest with a tall man in a dark blue jump-suit type outfit, and a white mask. You panicked, and thought quickly about how to fight back. Unfortunately, he seemed to be faster than you, and your mouth was covered as you were picked up and carried off into the darkness, legs kicking uselessly. 

Carrie White (Carrie)

You were at the library when you saw a pale girl browsing through the young adult fantasy section. You observed her actions, as she readjusted her dress and collar. She carefully picked a book from the shelf and flipped it to the back to read the description. You saw a flash of the cover, and realized it was one of your favorite series, Chronicles of Narnia. You hesitated but stepped forward in a bit of excitement.

“That’s a good one, I, um, really recommend checking it out.” You told her with a smile, and she looked up, seemingly a bit taken aback. You realized this, and took a step back to give her space. “Sorry, didn’t mean to alarm you...I’m (y/n).” You stuck out your hand, and she just looked down at it, book in hand. “Carrie...Sorry, mama never liked me talking to strangers…” “No, no, it’s okay, I underst-” “No, it’s okay...She’s been gone a while now.” She looked down. 

You stood awkwardly, feeling a bit bad now. “You seem kind enough. I’ve got to go, but we can talk again another time. I come here every Sunday, around noon.” Carrie said quietly, smiling softly and turning, taking Narnia with her. You sat to yourself, a bit confused about the interaction. You shook your head and carried on. “Next Sunday it is,” You thought to yourself.

Jennifer Check (Jennifer's Body)

There was a new girl at school, as you had heard. How could you not have when everyone was talking about it? She had moved here recently after some sort of tragedy occured, or so you’d heard. It was rumored that she had to have surgery cause someone tried to kill her, she was all stabbed up and shit and nearly bled out. You can’t imagine how awful that would be, and you kept thinking about how she probably came here for a new start, and wouldn’t want people asking about it, but you knew it would happen anyways.

It was 3rd period, Anatomy, when a girl you’d never seen before walked into the classroom. This, of course, must have been the new girl. She was absolutely glowing, even from afar. Her hair was voluminous, rich, and dark, her skin was clear and shiny, her eyes were sharp and bright. It took your breath away trying to take in the sight. The girl’s heels clicked as she trailed to the back of the classroom, to where you were. She sat beside you, at the lab table. 

You tried not to look at her, after all, you didn’t want to seem weird. You looked at the floor and over to her shoes. A few drips of a thick, crimson substance were on the floor beneath her, seemingly originating from her shoe. You wondered for a moment if she was hurt. Or, could she have hurt someone else..? It scared you a bit to think about the second option. God knows this school didn’t need another bully, or anything worse than it.

You were tranced, stuck in your own looming dark thoughts, when a velvet voice came to your ears. You snapped your glance up from the floor, to see the girl looking at you, specifically. To your dismay, blood rushed to your face out of embarrassment. “I’m Jennifer. Do you have a pen I can use?”

Billy Loomis (Scream)

You were in your brand new house, you had moved out and into the next town over from your parents. You wanted to be further away, but you knew that your mom would be upset, she was always so protective. She even said that she expected you to come visit her on the weekends. The relationship was a bit exhausting sometimes. But now, you were in your own house, and it was great. You could decorate it however you wanted, you could have whoever you wanted over, you could do basically whatever.

Though, for now, you decided to just make some off-brand pizza rolls and blare some music, maybe even dance around a little bit. Season Of The Witch by Donovan was playing on your stereo when suddenly your phone rang. You paused the music, and quickly answered. Normally, you would check the caller ID, but you were in a good mood and it completely slipped your mind. I mean, who cares if it's a scam caller? You can just hang up. To your surprise, it wasn’t a familiar voice, but didn’t seem to be a scam-caller. Maybe a wrong number? 

“Do you like scary movies?” The other line said. You were suspicious, and for a second you considered that maybe it was a survey. It didn’t seem to be a harmful question, so you replied, “Yeah, duh. If you don't, you're pretty lame.” You turned the music back on, but turned the volume down. He asked a few follow-up questions, and you gave your honest answers. You just strolled around the kitchen, occasionally checking the timer on your food so that it doesn’t burn. 

You had your phone pressed between your ear and your shoulder, and you had on oven mitts as you grabbed your pizza rolls from the oven. “What’s your name?” The caller suddenly asked. You paused for a second as you put the cooking sheet on the counter. “Why do you wanna know..” You asked cautiously. “Well, I wanna know the name of the cutie I’m looking at.” He said, and your heart damn near stopped. “Excuse me..?” You hung up and quickly ran to the doors, double-checking the locks and locking the windows and shutting the curtains. You grabbed a knife from the silverware drawer and locked yourself in your room, where you eventually fell asleep in the dark silence.

Thomas Hewitt (Texas Chainsaw Massacre)

You had just moved out to the country-side to start anew, planning to start a small farm and just live in peace on the quiet little land. Little did you know, you had neighbors across the field that weren’t exactly the type of neighbors that you could ask for a cup of sugar. You were hanging the new drapes for the windows after having taken the old ones down. They were old, dirty, ragged. Honestly, the old farmhouse was sort of let to rot for a while, and you knew it. It was cheap though, and you were up to the challenge. You decided that you would decorate it, clean it up, and make it like brand new, even with the little money that you had. 

As you were hanging the drapes, you kept looking out into the distance of the rolling fields outside the window, littered with patches of wild flowers in the grass. You fantasized about making gardens, maybe even building a little stable for a horse or two. It was a lovely thought; there was a small village a little while away from the farm that you could ride a horse to if you wanted. 

Though, some distance away in the field, you saw the figure of what looked to be a man wandering in the field. You weren’t too worried, as you had all the locks in place, it was the middle of the day, and he looked peaceful. So, you just forgot about it and went on fixing up your house, unpacking, and getting the rest of the things in place. Although you had been there about a week, you still understandably weren’t completely unpacked. 

A few hours later, you were doing a bit of drawing on the couch and taking some time to relax. That’s when you heard a thud on your door. Just a single thud, that’s all. Still, you had reason to be concerned, as you were sort of in the middle of the country and it was starting to set into the evening. You quietly walked to your bedroom and grabbed a shotgun from the closet that you kept for protection, a tradition in your family. You carried it with you as you checked the door. You looked through the thin peephole, but saw nothing. You opened the door to find a paper stuck to the door by a rusty hatchet, buried deep into the oak. Your heart rate spiked as you tore the note from the door and read it. “Welcome to the neighborhood, pretty person” was spelled in crude handwriting.

[ashyblondwaves]

Snippet idea:

Vision coming home from a mission and nobody greeting him at the front door which is weird.

He listens and hears crying from his and Wanda’s bedroom.

When he walks in, both twins are having a meltdown and Wanda is trying to calm them both down so they can go to bed but the hormones are making it so she’s about to throw a tantrum right along with them.

She’s tired, her back hurts, she’s off balance and at the mercy of her changing body/ emotions that can change at the drop of a hat.

When Vision comes in he helps Wanda wrangle the boys into their pjs and big boy beds and he holds her while her frustration bubbles over.

They get reacquainted in the tub once the boys are asleep.

Thank you for sending this! It just struck a chord with me so here we are jumping right back into the Outnumbered universe! I made the boys a bit younger, I hope that's ok and I hope you enjoy <3

Outnumbered: Are You Scared?

The room was dark and quiet save for the soft hum and flicker of The Dick Van Dyke show on the television.

Wanda lay on her side, Vision behind her with a supportive hand on her growing belly. A soft laugh escaped Wanda's lips, keeping it low so she wouldn't wake one of the twins, but her body jiggled with the full power of her amusement. As the episode ended, Wanda grabbed for the remote in front of her and cut the power on the TV. She turned, wrapping her arms around Vision's neck the best she could with the space her belly put between them.

"Are you scared?" Wanda whispered.

"Of what, my love?" Vision asked, reaching a hand out to brush his thumb across the apple of Wanda's cheek.

"To have a third baby," Wanda explained, leaning into Vision's hand. "What if she's colicky like the twins were?"

"We'll tackle that if we need to, darling," Vision assured her.

"What if you're not home again?" Wanda asked, bringing the thought of some of Wanda's hardest days as a new mom to the front of Vision's memories.

***

The door flew open a bag dropping to the floor as Vision stepped over the threshold and immediately changed from his human form when the door closed behind him.

"Wanda?" Vision called out, not seeing her or the boys anywhere on the first floor. Normally, Wanda was opening the door for him and pulling him inside, but this time it was eerily quiet downstairs.

His mind immediately cycled through disastrous scenarios that could have happened. One of the boys was sick and she rushed them to the hospital and didn't have time to call. Wanda herself was sick and unable to call. Why hadn't she called if she something was wrong?

Then he heard it. The shrill cries of his 8 week old sons coming from upstairs. Their bedroom. Wanda had to be in there with the boys.

"Wanda?!" Vision yelled out, speeding up the stairs three at a time as he descended upon their bedroom. Something had to be wrong for her to not even realize he was home.

Not bothering with the doorknob, Vision phased through the closed bedroom door to find Wanda sat in the middle of their bed. She was still in her lounge clothes, her hair up in a messier than usual top knot at the crown of her head. Her eyes were red from crying as she stared down on her screaming sons.

"Wanda...." Vision said tenderly, causing her to look up.

"Vis," Wanda's voice cracked with emotion at the sight of him. "They won't stop." Tears spilled over as she picked up Tommy and held him close, cradling the back of his head as she bounced him gently.

Vision acted quickly, pulling Tommy from Wanda's arms and plucking Billy from where he lay screaming on the bed. With a boy in each arm, he looked down at Wanda's disheveled form.

"I'm so sorry, darling," he said, voice laced with sympathy. "I will handle these two tonight. Please just take a little time for yourself and I'll be in when I've calmed them down."

Through tears, Wanda nodded, sniffling as she moved to get up from the bed. Her exhaustion was clear as she stood, slumping like she just didn't have it in her to even walk.

"I'm going to take a bath," she croaked out. "Please come make sure I didn't fall asleep in there."

"Yes, dear," Vision said, looking down at the screaming squirming bundles of joy in his arms. "Let's take this to your room, lads."

A change of scenery didn't calm the boys but Vision was determined to do this for Wanda after being gone for almost a week on a mission with The Avengers. Everything went fine except for the fact that Vision was torn away from his wife and newborn sons for so long. Seeing them screaming in their cribs caused guilt to run through his system. He'd never been needed two places at once before and he wasn't quite sure how to handle it. But at that moment, it didn't matter. The boys needed calming and he was going to be the one to do it.

"How about a fresh diaper and pajamas, boys?" Vision asked, his voice mostly muted by the screaming infants. He nodded to himself. "Right then."

He gathered his materials quickly. Two pairs of pajamas from the dresser, two fresh diapers, wipes, powder and two brand new pacifiers. Tommy was first and Vision slowed himself down to make sure he had the time to bond with his young son.

"What appears to be the trouble, Thomas?" Vision asked, gently setting the crying boy on the changing table as he looked up at his father with big crocodile tears spilling from his eyes. Vision carefully slipped the baby's arms from his outfit. "Now I know your mum has done everything she could for you. Why the tears?"

Tommy looked up at Vision, his cries beginning to cease as a hiccup jolted his body. He stuck his bottom lip out in a pout, looking as though he were about to start screaming again but instead he let out a sigh before another hiccup hit.

"That's right," Vision said proudly, fastening the fresh diaper to itself. "Nothing to cry about with a mum like yours." He finished by snapping the small buttons at the front of the baby's onesie pajamas and offering the pacifier to him. Tommy took it, suckling on it furiously as more hiccups made his small body jump.

As Vision set Tommy back in his crib, he set his sights on Billy, still crying furiously in his own crib.

"Round two," Vision said, picking up the other boy. "Let's freshen you up and have a little chat, shall we?"

He repeated the motions with Billy, arms and legs lightly pulled from clothing that was covered in tears and drool a fresh diaper to replace the slightly wet one Billy was in and then the pajamas.

"Billy," Vision said, tending to his son. "Look at your brother there, quiet as a church mouse now. Can you do that too?"

The boy seemed to be listening to Vision, eyes trained on his father's flesh and vibranium face. And the crying slowed to a whine.

"That's it," Vision soothed, offering the second pacifier to Billy. He took it eagerly and quieted completely. "Let's calm down now, boys."

With two mostly silent infants fresh and ready for bed, Vision took Tommy from his crib and brought both boys to the rocking chair in the corner of the room. He sat with a boy cradled in each arm. Since he was unable to grab a book his systems pulled one up and he read the words in front of his eyes.

"Here is Edward Bear, coming downstairs now, bump, bump, bump, on the back of his head, behind Christopher Robin," Vision read, feeling the tense infants relaxing in his arms.

As Vision read, he looked down at his boys periodically, now calm and asleep and looking as though they'd never cry for a single minute let alone for hours on end. Vision decided to finish the first chapter of the book before setting the boys in their cribs, just to be sure they'd calmed for the night.

"He nodded and went out, and in a moment I heard Winnie-The-Pooh--bump--bump--bump--going up the stairs behind him."

Vision closed the book his system had pulled up and looked down at his boys again, fast asleep. He stood up carefully and moved to the cribs, setting each boy down in his own space.

"Goodnight, boys," Vision said, finally exiting the room and walking down the now quiet hallway and straight into his and Wanda's bedroom, then into their bathroom. There he found Wanda soaking in the tub, her old clothes shed in a heap on the floor, steam rising from the water.

"Wanda?" Vision asked, making sure she wasn't asleep. "I've gotten the boys to sleep."

"Thank you," Wanda replied gratefully, her voice still cracking. "Join me?"

Vision didn't have to be asked twice to join his naked wife in the tub. He quickly phased out of his clothes and slipped in behind her, pulling her back against his chest.

"I've missed you," Vision said, pressing a kiss to Wanda's neck. "I'm so sorry you've had to do this alone."

"I missed you too," Wanda said, her voice still not quite right. She was crying again.

"What's wrong, my love?"

"How bad of a mother must I be that I can't calm my own sons?" Wanda asked, "Yet you calmed them in just a few minutes."

"I don't think I calmed them," Vision said honestly, holding Wanda close. "I think they just finally tired themselves out."

Wanda sighed and dropped her head to the side, giving Vision perfect access to her neck. He peppered kisses to the area, feeling her body relax against his with each kiss.

"You're not a bad mother," Vision said firmly, pressing a final kiss to the top of Wanda's head. "I won't hear of it."

"But nothing I did worked--"

"Shhh," Vision cooed, "They're colicky. It has nothing to do with your skills as a mother. This will pass. I promise you, it will pass."

"I'm so glad you're home," Wanda murmured.

***

"Are you scared, Wanda?"

"I'm scared of doing this without you," Wanda confessed, pulling Vision in for a quick kiss. "What if I have do this without you?"

"You'll never have to worry about that," Vision assured her. "It's always only temporary. I will come back. Always."

"How can you make that promise?" Wanda asked, voice almost in a panic. "What we do could get either one of us killed at any time without warning."

"We can't think like that, darling," Vision said, running a hand down Wanda's arm. "We have to trust that the other will always come home safely."

"Well I can't do that," Wanda snapped, pulling away to look Vision in the eyes. "And I don't think you can, either."

Vision looked away and he knew it would tell Wanda all she needed to know about his fears of losing her or having her lose him.

"I can't," Vision finally confessed, pulling Wanda back into his arms. "But we can't dwell, darling. We have to stay present. For Tommy. For Billy," he set a hand on Wanda's belly. "And for Big Bird."

Wanda laughed, music to Vision's ears.

"We aren't calling her that after she's born," Wanda said firmly, finally changing the subject.

"Of course not," Vision agreed. "But for now we can."

"For now," Wanda replied, closing her tired eyes. "Goodnight, Vis."

"Goodnight, my love."

[salvatoreschool]

Kaylee Bryant On "Legacies," The Importance Of Queer Rep On TV, Hosie, And More

"I have so many people constantly telling me that watching Josie on the show has made them feel more comfortable in themselves."

This week, Kaylee Bryant squeezed us into her schedule to talk about their role as Josie Saltzman on Legacies. As a huge Josie fan, I couldn't think of a better way to spend a morning than talking to Kaylee about The Vampire Diaries, Hosie, our favorite books, and more! Here's everything we talked about:

1. What was your audition for Legacies like?

My audition process was very interesting because they kept a lot of it a secret. I had no script and a fake character name. And then I had my second audition, a chemistry read, which Jenny Boyd [Lizzie] wasn't even at. I walked in and immediately just flat-out asked, "This is for the twins, right?" So it was long, but short and intense at the same time.

BuzzFeed: Wait, did you know which twin you were going to be playing?

I initially auditioned for Josie, and then during chemistry reads, they started asking me to read for Lizzie. And then we had our final callback where I finally met Jenny and we both read for both roles. They never told us [who was playing who] until Jenny had her appointment to go dye her hair blonde.

2. What's a typical day on set like?

Gosh, it changes every time. If it's a busy day on set, we're talking like 8 a.m. call time where we spend about two hours on hair and makeup and go straight into rehearsals. If it's a big sort of episode that involves stunt work and wire work, you're talking about doing maybe two scenes in a day. But if it's an average day, we can do anywhere from three to five scenes and we can start at 8 a.m. and wrap at 8 p.m. It really depends. I'm surprised if I'm not surprised.

3. You’ve said you’re a huge fan of The Vampire Diaries. Josie played Elena in the musical episode — what was that like?

It was surreal for sure. They had talked a little bit about doing a musical episode since Season 1. And I always thought that they were joking when they talked about doing Salvatore: The Musical!, so when they said Josie would obviously play Elena, I was like, "Hahaha." And then I got the script and realized I actually was playing Elena. The musical aspect of it was the easy part. The difficult part was, I think, getting into the iconic Elena attire and trying to feel normal. Because we have a lot of crew members that worked on The Vampire Diaries, and they kept coming up to me being like, "This is weird. I feel weird."

4. Do you have a favorite scene you’ve filmed with Courtney Bandeko (Finch) this season?

I really did love the scene that we had in the town square [when] we got on a moped. There were so many fans in the town square that were huddled in the rain — it was pouring rain, freezing cold — trying to snap photos of us. And it was kind of one of those surreal moments where it felt full circle, that I was on a Vampire Diaries spinoff in town square. It was a lot going on, but it was a lot of fun. It's always fun working with Courtney.

5. You and Danielle Rose Russell (Hope) also have amazing chemistry — what’s your favorite scene you’ve filmed together?

Oh gosh, we have a lot that are pretty amazing. Honestly, I'd say [Season 3] Episode 14 — we finally got to do a lot more scenes together. And it's always fun, especially when it's Josie, Lizzie, and Hope, because we have so much history character-wise. Any time you really get to dive into that, we love it.

6. I know Josie and Finch are working through some things right now, but I gotta ask — how do you feel about Hosie?

I love it. Danielle and I loved the idea of Hosie starting from Season 1, and we kept asking and asking and asking for it. So it's kind of funny and full circle that now the fans have kind of taken our side with things, and now they won't stop asking for it. All we want is this beautiful, dynamic relationship. And I think that the fans want that as well.

BuzzFeed: Yeah, I mean, people have even been asking me about Hosie, and I don't work on the show!

Oh, I'm sure! [Laughs] Obviously I love it, though.

7. Is there a particular Josie moment you’re really proud of?

Josie has a scene coming up in Episode 18 — or 19? — I don't know, but it's good. It's sort of the pinnacle of everything that Josie has felt over the past three years kind of culminating into one moment. So, I'm excited for people to see it.

8. You recently came out as queer. How has playing Josie, who’s pansexual, impacted you personally?

I felt a lot of pressure when I initially booked Josie because I was still figuring out who I was and what my label was. And playing a character who was so comfortable in who she was, it was inspiring [to me] in a way that I think a lot of other people watching the show have been inspired. I have so many people constantly telling me that watching Josie on the show has made them feel more comfortable in themselves. It's kind of amazing that we all have the same experience in that having queer representation makes you more comfortable.

9. You’ve been vocal about your Asian identity, and your character has spoken Japanese on the show. Did you have a hand in incorporating that into Josie’s character?

No, not at all! So, I spoke Japanese a few times on the [Instagram] Live and one of our writers, Penny Cox, saw me speaking Japanese and immediately went to Brett [Matthews] and was like, "We need to make this happen somehow." And then all of a sudden, I had a script in my hands. So it was a surprise, but a fun one.

BuzzFeed: Are you fluent in Japanese?

Gosh, no! I'm barely fluent in English. [Laughs] I would say I speak at the level of maybe a second-grader on a good day, though.

10. If you could pitch any storyline for Josie, what would it be?

I always joke that I want an episode that takes place overnight. That way, we all have to be wearing pajamas the entire episode. I just want to wear some comfy clothes for a whole two weeks, that's my main goal. So we can have a pajama episode, that's my pitch.

11. What's it like getting into character for Dark Josie scenes?

It's different in the sense that I know Josie so well. And knowing Josie in turn makes me understand Dark Josie. I have a whole different playlist of music that I listen to for Dark Josie — and I have the wig, which helps a lot with getting into character.

BuzzFeed: Well, now I have to ask what music is on that playlist!

I think "Bury a Friend" by Billie Eilish is a great one for Dark Josie. Also, "Villain" by K/DA is a prime example of a perfect song for Dark Josie, so I listen to that one as well.

12. What's your go-to Starbucks order?

Plain black iced Americano. Aria [Shahghasemi, who plays Landon] says I drink coffee like a sociopath. [Laughs]

13. What TV show are you currently binging?

I just finished watching Alice in Borderland, which is a Japanese show on Netflix. And I know Feel Good Season 2 just came out, so I think that's my next binge.

14. Damon or Stefan?

Stefan! They're both beautiful and I love them very much, but I'm Team Stefan when it comes to Elena.

15. If you could work with anyone from The Vampire Diaries, who would it be?

Ian Somerhalder has a lot of dogs. So, maybe I want to work with him for the sole reason of just talking about dogs. [Writer's note: Kaylee revealed she has two rescue dogs, one whom was sleeping right next to them during the interview! Kaylee described the dogs as "both complete and total nuts," but said she misses them about five minutes after getting into the car to go to work.]

16. Do you think you’re most similar to Josie, Lizzie, or Hope in real life?

I would say I'm an eclectic mix of the three. I can be very headstrong like Hope, very outspoken like Lizzie, and I try to be as loving as Josie, but sometimes that doesn't always work. But I'd like to think all three.

17. Is there a role people would be surprised to learn you auditioned for, but didn't get?

I've been auditioning since I was eight, so there's quite a few Disney Channel shows and movies. And I'm sure people would be surprised because I think I auditioned for like, all of them. It's very funny, one of the first jobs I ever booked in television was Kickin' It with Leo Howard [Ethan]. Talk about full circle — going from being 12 years old and having no idea what I'm doing to being a series regular on [Legacies] and welcoming Leo to the set.

18. Who's your favorite Disney princess?

Oh, I love Mulan so much. She was, like, my first crush ever. I also love Moana, but it's Mulan 1,000%.

19. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

I mean, I do eat rice every day. So maybe just white rice — you can make rice into candy and...yeah, let's go with rice.

20. If you were stranded on a deserted island and could only bring one book, what would it be?

Oh no! I recently read The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers, and I really enjoyed that book. Oh god, Is that the one that I want to bring, though? I mean, I really enjoyed it and it has many different aspects to it. I don't know. Or should I go with Harry Potter? I go through different genres too, like right now I'm in a big sci-fi phase, but other times I'll go the opposite direction and only read biographies. Yeah, that's super hard. I don't think I would know!

21. On that note, what's your Hogwarts house?

Initially, when I was younger, it used to just be straight-up Slytherin. And now, I recently took the Sorting Hat Quiz and I got Ravenclaw. So I'm going to go with Slytherclaw.

BuzzFeed: What's Josie's house?

Josie would be Slytherin. She tries very hard and, you know, not everyone in Slytherin is evil. She just, you know, has her way of going about things.

22. Has anything super funny or embarrassing happened to you on set?

I trip a lot on set. I get scared very easily — if I come around the corner and somebody is walking the other direction, I get scared. Everybody knows to walk slowly around me because I get scared so easily.

23. What's your wildest fan story?

I've had people cry before. And I'm an empath, so if somebody starts crying, I immediately am like, "Please don't cry, because I'm gonna cry." And then it turns into this whole thing. Once we were shooting in the town square and this young girl with her mom started crying, and I just hugged her and I didn't know what to say. So there's a lot of that. There's also the occasional, "Where's your twin?" and...I don't have one, sorry! But yeah, I would say the people who cry always throw me for a loop.

24. How do you unwind after a long day?

I have an hourlong drive home from work, so I usually listen to a lot of music. And by the time I get home, taking off all of my makeup is very therapeutic. Because over time, we're working 13-hour days, 16-hour days, and it's just powder constantly building up on my face. So, washing my face is always very therapeutic. And then just laying back and reading a book and petting my dog is the best.

25. Is there a celebrity you get told you look like a lot?

Most recently, Sara Waisglass [from Ginny & Georgia and Degrassi]. We follow each other on social media now and I completely messed up because I don't know how Twitter works at all. I forgot that there's a DMing interaction, so we followed each other and I was like, "Oh, that's nice." And then just recently, I saw that she had messaged me being like, "We're twins! We should be friends!" And I immediately messaged back, "I'm so sorry, let's be friends!"

26. Who's your biggest celebrity crush?

Oh, I have so many. But consistently since I saw Orphan Black, Tatiana Maslany. Hands down.

27. Finally, have you ever caught someone watching a TV show or movie that you're in on a flight or anywhere else?

We were all, as a cast, flying to — was it New York Comic Con, or San Diego Comic Con? — one of the Comic Cons. And we were all sitting there and we saw that Legacies was actually on the airplane as an option. And we were all just uncomfortably staring at each other. Yeah, that was surreal.

Be sure to catch Kaylee in Legacies, which airs Thursdays at 9 p.m. ET on The CW!

[queen-of-new-york-99]

WandaVision au! Newsies Part 2

There aren’t much for me to explain here but I am working on the main bases of each episode/part in the show and that will honestly have more to it then this.

But besides that, I have made a list of the character with small details of each character and some actual backstories to them as well!

Katherine Plumber

A lil backstory: Katherine doesn’t really remember much about her childhood; just that her mother died young and her father wasn’t the best father so she decided to go off on her own at 17 and try to make a life of her own. She had no clue she had the power to move things with her mind and read others minds until she left her house. And then, all the voices filled her head. Beside one person and that person is none other than Jack Kelly. 

Lost Jack when he went to work and the building was under attack 

But he left after they had a big argument so it wasn’t on a good note

Didn’t find out about the incident till it was too late, and finding out that Snyder had his body 

Not as upset about it as people think 

Once she leaved snyder, she just drives around until she finds his sketch book in the back seat of the car

She gets home and cue mental breakdown and BOOM the whole town is now in sitcoms

And she is somehow able to bring Jack back 

Thanks to all the grief and her obsession with sitcoms when she was younger, she made this town go through various sitcoms as it goes through the decades

At the same time, she and Jack end up having a child. Twins actually 

Jack Kelly

A lil Backstory: he has thought he was a normal human orphan boy until he was 18 and finally able to leave the lodge house, where he had been staying for what seemed to be his whole life. But when he meets the love of his life,Katherine, she senses something wrong and as they get to know each other, he gets to figure out things about himself. Like how he is actually an android built for Snyder so someone could keep an eye on the kids in the lodge house. 

Was brought back by Kath’s anger/sadness about everything 

Snyder had his body though so she couldn’t have a funeral 

Even though he is an android, he prefers his ‘human looks’ and the New York accent he has but when he’s around Katherine, he tends to relax and lets his disguise go

Director Snyder

A lil backstory: He’s a bad man. Bad bad man and he just doesn’t want to have to deal with the kids at the lodge (since he also has a better job as the director at S.W.O.R.D. but only after Davey left for his “break”). So he decided to get something to help and that something ended up being Jack Kelly. Someone built Jack Kelly for Snyder but he lost him when Jack turned 18 and left. Ever since then he has been on a hunt for him. 

Has been wanting Jack back ever since he Jack left the lodge at 18. The place had gone haywire 

Joe/ Joseph Pulitzer 

A lil backstory: Had been married to Katherine “Kate” for years and when Kate had a child, she was beyond excited. But joseph wasnt. Not long after the birth did Kate end up dying so Joseph was left alone to raise his daughter, Katherine,(Yes, she named after her mother). Since he didn’t care too much about her, he just kinda let grow herself up or let some work friends watch her. One work friend was a scientist who did some slight experiments on her. Which gave her the powers to move things with her mind and read minds. But Joseph didn’t like the idea so they found a way to keep her powers under control while she was in her house, until she ran away. 

Ever since, he had been after her. Which brought him into getting into that town.

Katherine and Jack’s next door neighbor whose wife,Kate, tends to pop in at the best times

The scientist gave Joseph some powers as well but he didn’t come out as powerful as his own daughter, which is also why he’s after her

He liked the feeling of the powers and wants to absorb hers so he can be more powerful

Crutchie 

Both crutchie and billy are sooo wholesome ™

Has the same powers as his mom 

(sorry, not much to say here lmao)

Race

Well first off people who tend be fast race and this kid is a speedster 

The more chaotic twin and tends to get into trouble 

(sorry, not much to say here lmao)

Dave/Captain David Jacobs

A lil backstory: His mother and father both started S.W.O.R.D in hopes of helping out the world and everything and then they passed onto their kids, Davey and Les, when they passed. But not long after the two got put in charge did Les end up getting shot and bleeding out. So he left S.W.O.R.D and (although he hated it) Snyder in charge. It wasn’t until 3 years later and the town disappearing did he come back to help.

Only really slightly knows Katherine and Jack but was sent to meet up with Agent DaSilva about a missing person 

Then he gets pulled into the town and put into the little fasle life Katherine had created

Until Katherine catches on to Davey not being “of this area” she sends him right out and back to S.W.O.R.D. waiting outside the barriers. 

Dr. Medda Larkins

A lil backstory: She was always seen as a quiet and timid woman or wanted to get her doctorate in college but no one believed her. 

She was invited to come help by Agent DaSilva 

She was the only to figure out the wavelengths were from an old tv and everything 

(sorry, not much to say here lmao)

Agent Albert DaSilva

A lil backstory: Worked his ASS off to be an FBi and is now one. Yay but people don’t really have faith in him either. 

Tried to get in contact with the missing person because he was also in witness protection but when no one knew who he was, he went to the town himself 

But then no one knew the town either

So he called Captain Jacobs 

(sorry, not much to say here lmao)

Spot Conlon

Uh… well… its a surprise when I explain the parts and episodes!

Specs

Works in the same office as Jack and is kinda a work friend 

Tends to make a lot of jokes and can get along with everyone 

(sorry, not much to say here lmao)

Hope you all are enjoying this so far! I am working on moodboards and making the various episodes/parts. Debating about doing actually fanfic/story style or just bullet points. However, I am also working on a Pitch Perfect au! So I am busy working lmao.

[themidnight-ghost]

Try

Chapter One | Chapter Two

Anne Boleyn lost everything when she accidentally resurrected Henry VIII. Now it's all up to her to fix her mistakes, but hopefully, she won’t have to do it alone.

Anne Boleyn awoke, she adjusted herself to move her neck but stopped when she realised it was nestled into Catherine Parr's collarbone. She tensed then hesitantly relaxed, savouring the familiar smell and comfort she hadn’t had in so long. The Boleyn girl closed her eyes once more and smiled slightly, fantasising about what life could’ve been is she hadn’t cared so much.

Now it was Catherine’s turn to wake up. Anne felt Cathy’s breath hitch, and she quickly removed her head to give the writer some space. Unfortunately, this now meant that Cathy was taller.

“Morning,” Cathy mumbled, glancing down at Anne’s lips then back to her eyes.

“Morning,” Anne replied stiffly.

“Did you sleep okay?” The writer’s voice was husky, and Anne didn’t miss Cathy’s subtle glances.

“Yeah, I slept brilliantly.” Anne trailed off as Cathy tipped her chin upwards,

“When I first saw you, there was a cut here.” Cathy brushed her fingers over a spot on Anne’s chin, “Looks like it healed well.”

I Anne wasn't awake then, Cathy's morning abruptness meant she was now. Not meeting her eyes, the 6th queen hesitated.

Anne’s voice turned to a whisper, “What are you thinking about?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Cathy glanced at the Boleyn girl’s lips once again before moving in. Anne’s eyes fluttered closed as the air became thicker and she could feel Cathy’s breath igniting something she hadn’t felt in a while.

Knock, knock.

“Cathy, Jane was wondering why you’ve not come down for breakfast yet.”

The chippy voice of Katherine Howard was enough to make a grown man scream, especially if he was about to lock lips with Anne Boleyn.

The 5th queen gasped at the sight. Kat had started to walk around the house a little more and even came down for occasional meals. At this point, she’d seen too much to be embarrassed and was furious that her cousin had been let back into their house.

“What the fuck, Cathy.”

“I can explain!”

“I don’t want a fucking explanation!”

On any other day, Anne would’ve called her younger cousin out on her language, but she decided to keep quiet.

“I want her gone.” Katherine stormed out.

“What got her ponytail in a twist?”

Cathy shot the 2nd queen a look which could kill before chasing Katherine to her room.

“Okay,” The writer began, “First off, language. That was unacceptable, and you know it. Second of all, Anne needed a place to stay; I wasn’t going to let her rot on the streets.”

“Okay, Cathy. How about this? I don’t care if she was living with Beyonce or freaking Billie Eilish! She ruined our family and resurrected someone we all agreed didn’t deserve to exist! Do you have any idea of the pain she caused me?! That was my cousin.”

“I get you’re angry, I do.”

Katherine dived onto her bed and stuck her head into her pillow,

“No, you don't, Cathy. You live in a little world where everyone can be forgiven with a snap of their fingers, but that isn’t what reality is like. You relieve the oppressor of guilt when everyone else suffers.”

Catherine rested herself against the backboard as she ran her hands through Kat’s hair.

“Sometimes, it’s easier to forgive.”

“What would you know.” Kat’s voice was toxic, but she soon rephrased the question, “Scratch that, what’d you mean?”

“It helps your soul find peace so you can move on. It’s hard but necessary for both parties.”

“It’s like you forget what she did to us. Do you know how many nights I spent crying about that man, how many nightmares? The trauma I’ve had to work through for my cousin just to reverse it?” Katherine sobbed, “it’s easier for you.”

“Believe me,” Cathy sighed, “I can’t imagine how hard it is for you, but it’s been fucking hard for me.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you swear before.” Katherine looked up with curiosity.

“I loved her, I invested everything I had into that relationship, and what I gave I got back. Life was perfect.” Cathy swallowed, “But then everything changed. I woke up one morning, and she’d gone. She didn’t leave a note, and I certainly didn’t get a letter. Everyone was telling me to get over it, but I was in shock. My life turned upside down in 24 hours, and what had once become routine became a distant memory. I swear a part of me thought she was dead when I saw her on the pavement.”

“Is that why you forgave her? Because you missed her?”

“I forgave her because my moments with her were the best. She made me really happy, Kat. Even small moments like the one this morning, she feels like home.” Cathy couldn’t believe what she was saying, “Which is why you can’t tell Jane. You don’t have to forgive her, and I don’t expect that of you. I just need her here, please?”

“You don’t deserve her.”

“I love her. I can’t help that.”

Katherine wiped the tears from her eyes as she thought.

“I won’t tell anyone, I promise.”

“Thank you, thank you so much!” Catherine pulled Kat into a hug, relief flooding them both, “And as much as I hate to ask, will you help me smuggle up some food?”

“Only because she’s my cousin,” Katherine spoke into Cathy’s shoulder.

“Thank you. You should head down before Jane gets suspicious.” Cathy wiped Kat’s remaining tears with her thumbs, letting her go to the door.

“Oh, and Cathy?” Kat poked her head around the door, “If we get caught, it’s your funeral.”

Catherine nodded, falling back on the bed whilst, releasing the breath she didn’t know she was holding before rejoining Anne.

The 2nd queen was already dressed and relaxing in front of Cathy’s open window, grinning as she felt the cool breeze on her face.

“Kat won’t tell.” Cathy pulled out her clothes for that day.

“That’s a relief. I honestly thought I would be kicked out again.” Anne laughed.

“Can I ask?” Cathy began, pulling up her jeans, “Why didn’t you leave a note when you left?”

“I wanted to. I had one written explaining the details Henry didn’t mention, and I had a separate one for you, but Jane didn’t want anyone reading them. She claimed I tore the family apart and ruined the perfect life she’d created for us. I tried to get through to Anna, but she was with Kat and Jane wouldn’t let me out the kitchen to get my stuff.” Anne turned to the writer, changing the subject when she saw Cathy’s eyes, “Have you been crying?”

“Only a little,” Cathy admitted.

“I’m sorry for all the pain I caused you.” Anne walked towards her ex-girlfriend.

“Save it for the others, yeah?” Cathy took her hands, and Anne nodded solemnly.

Leaving Anne upstairs, Cathy joined the queens sitting together, leaving a space between her and Kat. The energy was relatively calming, but no one missed Kat sneaking food under the table.

“What are you doing that for?” Anna of Cleves gestured to the pancake.

“An ugly looking dog is circling our house so I figured I’d try to lead it away.” Kat half-lied.

“Must be an ugly ass dog if you don’t want to keep it.” Anna quipped much to Jane’s disappointment.

“Oh believe me,” Kat dramatically turned to Cathy, “It is.”

“You are a terrible influence on us all.” Catalina exaggerated.  

“Not as bad a Boleyn though! That girl would heelie around the house non stop!”

To Cathy’s surprise, the energy didn’t dull.

“Remember when she broke Jane’s vase?” Kat reminisced.

“I was supposed to sell that on eBay.” Jane’s tone was harsh until her lips curled into a smile, “You have no idea how uncomfortable that was to explain to the buyer.”

Anna stood from the table and to mock Jane's posh London accent, “‘Hello? Yes, this is the Tudor queen Jane Seymour, I’m afraid to inform you that my predecessor, Anne Boleyn, broke your vase.’”

Jane slapped Anna on the hand, “I do not speak like that!”

“Are you kidding? I think Anna’s impression was spot on!” The 1st queen complimented.

“Oh! Remember when Anne spent a week planning that elaborate beach date for Cathy, only for it to rain when they arrived?”

“It didn’t stop her from dragging me into the water, though.” Cathy smiled to herself before standing, “I should head up. I have some writing to finish.”

“Cathy, wait! You should take this,” Kat handed her the pancake, “You didn’t eat much, and you could get hungry.”

“Thanks, Kat.”

_______________________

Cathy felt sorry for Anne as she wolfed down the pancake, but all that sorrow evaporated when the Boleyn girl complained about there not being enough Nutella.

“Okay, Cath.” Anne licked her fingers, “I have a plan which might help salvage my bond with Kat.”

“I hate to burst your bubble, but there isn’t much to salvage.”

“So, using the remaining money you gave me on the street, I booked Kat and me in for…” Anne drum-rolled on her lap, which made Cathy chuckle.

The very sound of the writer’s laughter produced so much euphoria that Anne wanted to jump downstairs and announce her presence to the queens before kissing Cathy and dragging her out of the door like something from a movie.

“PLATE-SMASHING!”

“What the hell is plate-smashing?” Cathy giggled.

“It’s where you get three plates to write or draw anything on, then you throw them against the wall and unleash all your pent up emotions!”

“Are you sure that’s wise?” Cathy doubted, “Kat has a lot of conflicting emotions which could backfire.”

“I mean, what’s she going to do? Throw a plate at me?”

“Probably. You saw how angry she was this morning. It’s risky.”

“I need a driver.” Anne changed the subject.

“She described you as an ugly-looking dog at breakfast.”

“I need a driver.”

“Annie, I’m happy to drive you. I just don’t know if this is a good idea.”

“Look, I know my cousin better than anyone. I just need you to help me.”

Cathy rubbed her temple,

“Alright, what time is the session?”

“It’s in an hour!” Cathy swore Anne was half puppy. When she smiled, the writer could imagine her tail wagging happily as her ears sat contently on her head, perking up at the thought of making things right again.

“You head out the window and meet me by the car in a few. I’ll get kat.”  

_______________

The drive to the smash room was uncomfortable to say the last. There was a dark, eerie fog that lingered over the trio and ceased to dissipate.

Katherine Howard had explained multiple times that she felt uncomfortable and that she was only going along with this ‘plan’ because she was curious.

Anne Boleyn just silently nodded and picked at her fingernails in the back seat.

Catherine Parr internally debated if she was making all the right choices, Anne wasn’t usually one to think through a plan so what if something went wrong and she needed Cathy to get her out. But why should Cathy waste her time on someone like Anne? But what if this plan did work and Anne moved back in and everything returned to normal? Goddammit, she needed to focus on the road.

Deciding not to join in, Cathy left the beheaded cousins stranded outside their destination.

“Temper Tank?” Katherine deadpanned.

“It sounds bad-” Anne began,

Her cousin cut her off, “I dont need some sort of temper therapy. I’m fine how I am.”

“Really? Because it doesn’t seem that way.” Anne snapped, “I’m genuinely trying, Kitty. Just humour me for half an hour!”

“Half an hour is all you get.”

Katherine couldn’t help but be excited at the prospect of spending time with Anne. It didn’t help that she was also extremely curious about the trip despite the many things which could go wrong.

“Hi, welcome to Temper Tank. How can I help you?”

“I have a season with my cousin.”

“Of course! You must be Anne. Let me give you these.” The woman at the front desk handed the cousins two pairs of gloves and three plates each. “What colour sharpies would you like?”

“Green, please.” Anne studied Kat’s face carefully, despite not speaking for months, Anne would always remember her younger cousins’ favourite colour. “And pink.”

“Perfect! Room 206.”

Walking away from the front desk, Katherine finally spoke up.

“I’m surprised you remembered that.”

“Of course I’d remember that! How could I even forget!”

“Yeah, that was pretty stupid of me.”

“I’d see why you’d think that though, come on, let’s smash some plates!”

The cousins walked into a small room with the walls painted black and a single hanging light in the centre. It was separated in half by a thin sheet of glass, facing them was a large target merely hanging above the floor littered with china.

“Who are you adding?” Anne asked like she didn’t already know the answer.

“Henry Mannox, Francis Dereham, Thomas Culpepper, Henry and of course, you.” Anne’s stomach dropped. “But I wouldn’t put you on a plate with that lot. You deserve your own.”

Anne didn’t know if she should like that comment. The whole thought of being one of Kat’s triggers really messed her up. She spent so long trying to help her cousin, but now she just felt like she was putting her under more stress.

“Who’s going on yours?”

Anne broke from her trance, “Henry, Jane, pretty much my whole family other than you and George.”

“Why, Jane?” Katherine littered her plate with sarcastic love hearts.

“She wouldn’t let me tell the truth. She didn’t believe me.”

“Well, what is the truth?”

Anne swallowed. She waited for this moment when someone would finally hear her side of the story. Not even Cathy asked her what really happened.

“Before I could resurrect someone, I was allowed to speak to each soul personally. I used this time to speak to my daughter, apologise to Mary, and introduce myself to Edward and Mae. When it got to Henry, I was conflicted. I wasn’t going to give that scumbag the time of day, so I used the time to process my thoughts. I couldn’t resurrect my daughter and leave the others. Cathy had never even met Mae, and I had to take her history with Elizabeth into account. I could resurrect Edward, but what would Catalina think? Henry knew exactly what I was thinking.”

The truth suddenly dawned on Katherine.

“Two adult souls can split and make four child souls…”

Anne continued, “You can’t just resurrect a person, Kitty. The deceased soul needs help from one of the living, and if Henry was truthful, we could use our combined souls to resurrect all four kids.”

“But you would die?”

“I would be dying to give my daughter a new life. Not to mention the others.” Anne admitted. “Unfortunately, Henry didn’t keep his word, despite being truthful about resurrecting the other kids. When he ran, I came back to the house as soon as I could to explain, but I was in such a panic that-”

“No, I get it.” Kat placed a semi-comforting hand on Anne’s shoulder. “I still think you did a shitty thing, but I understand why you did it.”

Katherine stood and held Anne’s plate in her hands before throwing it at the target and hitting in dead in the centre.

“That’s for running away and living on the street.”

The younger queen then pulled her cousin into a tight hug.

“That’s for coming back.”

“I didn’t really have a choice,” Anne humorously admitted.

“Don’t ruin this moment.”

The sun’s light eventually broke the eerie fog that lingered over the cousins, and Anne ended up taking Kat on an impulse trip to McDonald’s before Cathy picked them up. Even though things weren’t perfect, and Kat didn’t fully forgive her cousin for what she did, she understood why Anne did it and that her original intentions were good.

When they finally arrived home, Katherine and her chicken nuggets exited, leaving Anne and Cathy alone in the front seats.

“How did it go?” The writer turned down the radio, her eyes tracing Anne’s features in the streetlights.

“It went well. I told Kat the truth, and she understood.”

Cathy hesitated, not wanting to overstep, “What is the truth? You mentioned it with Jane and now with Kat. Tell me.”

The survivor touched Anne’s thigh reassuringly, and the Boleyn girl explained everything.

“You were going to give yourself for Mae?” Cathy’s voice cracked.

Anne interlocked their fingers.

“I wanted you to be happy - you have no memory of her.”

“That doesn’t mean you should go around selling your soul! You selfish, selfish girl.” Cathy’s voice laced with compassion, fear and I dare say love as she pressed their foreheads together.

Cathy’s lips brushed against Anne’s and the 2nd queen blushed at the close contact.

“Are you alright?” Anne didn’t know why she whispered.

Catherine was shaking. “I’m just taking some time to process.”

“That makes sense. I think I’m going to give you some time alone.” Anne pulled away and kissed Cathy’s hand, “I’ll be climbing through the window if you need me.”

Once alone, the survivor groaned in frustration. Every time she thought she had something figured out, the universe changes course. She ran her hands through her curly hair and pulled out her notebook. Cathy wouldn’t usually take it everywhere, but it had become an anchor in the recent months and the only real way she could vent about her problems.

‘With Anne, there’s always a spark. Or in my case, a flame. And I guess, where there’s a flame, someone’s bound to get burned. But just because it burns doesn’t mean we’re going to die.’ Cathy paused, unsure of her next sentence, ‘The burn is healing now, so maybe it’s time to try.’

☁️  Not me actually liking the end of this chapter. Anywho, like Anne, I am trying. Comments and kudos are always appreciated! x ☁️

[weekendwarriorblog]

The Weekend Warrior 10/1/21: VENOM: LET THERE BE CARNAGE, THE ADDAMS FAMILY II, THE MANY SAINTS OF NEWARK, TITANE, MAYDAY, THE JESUS MUSIC

Yeah, so I haven’t had the time over the past couple weeks to write a column, and I kind of hate that fact, especially since I’m coming up on a pretty major milestone for me writing a weekly box office column and reviewing movies. In fact, that milestone comes next week! And once again, I’m struggling to get through the movies I was hoping to watch and write about this week, because I’ve been out of town and once again, very busy over the weekend. Let’s see how far I get...

Before we get to this week’s wide releases, I’m excited to say that my local arthouse movie theater, The Metrograph, is finally reopening for in-person screenings, and they’re kicking things off with a 4k restoration of Andrez Zulawski’s 1981 thriller, Possession, starring Sam Neill and Isabell Adjani, who won a Best Actress prize at Cannes for her performance in the film. I actually saw this at the Metrograph a few years back, and Metrograph Pictures, the distribution arm of the company is now distributing the 4k restoration. There’s a lot of exciting things ahead at Metrograph, including an upcoming four-film Clint Eastwood retrospective, including White Hunter, Black Heart (1990) and A Perfect World (1991) this Friday. Also, Lingua Franca director Isabel Sandoval will be showing her fantastic film from 2020 (a rare chance to see it in a theater and I’ll be there!) as well as program a number of other favorites of hers. Sunday will have screenings of Ingmar Berman’s Scenes from a Marriage (1973) in its full four plus hour glory, Steven Spielberg’s Jurassic Park (1993) and John Carpenter’s In the Mouth of Madness (1994).. In other words, the Metrograph is back!

Moving over to the weekend’s three wide releases, the first one up being Sony’s VENOM: LET THERE BE CARNAGE (Sony Pictures) with Tom Hardy returning as Eddie Brock aka Venom, joined by Woody Harrelson as the psychotic symbiote, Carnage. Taking over the directing reins is Andy Serkis, who has only directed two other movies, Mowgli: Legend of the Jungle and Breathe, but as an actor, he’s been heavily involved with the CG VFX (and performance capture) needed to bring the characters in this Marvel anti-hero movie to life.

Venom has been one of Spider-Man’s most popular villains and sometimes allies for quite a few decades now, starting out life as a cool black costume Spider-Man found on a strange planet during the first “Secret Wars,” which turned out to be an alien symbiote that had malicious intentions. Spider-Man got the costume off of him but it then linked up with Eddie Brock, a sad-sack journalist whose emotions drove the alien symbiote to become the Venom we known and (mostly) love, thanks to one Todd McFarlane. Venom continued to play a large part in the Spider-Man books before getting his own comics, and not before a super-villain was created for him in Cletus Kasady, a vicious serial killer whose infection by the symbiote turns him into Carnage. And that’s who Harrelson is playing.

Being a sequel, we do have some basis to go on, although the original Venom movie, released in early October 2018, also arrived at a time when it was only the second time the character of Venom was brought to the big screen -- the first time being Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man 3, in which the character was received without much love as Ryan Reynold’s Deadpool in X-Men Origins: Wolverine. And yet, Venom did great, opening with $80.2 million and grossing $213 million domestically, which is more than enough to greenlight a sequel. (It made over double that amount overseas, too.) For comparison, the Wolverine prequel opened with $85 million but at the beginning of summer, so it quickly tailed away with other movies coming out after it. Venom: Let There Be Carnage has to worry about the new James Bond opening a week later, so it very likely could be a one-and-done, opening decently but quickly dropping down as other big movies are released in October (basically one a week).

I’ve already seen the movie, and by the time you read this, reviews will already be up --including my own at Below the Line. Social media reactions seem to not be so bad though, so maybe it’ll get better reviews than its predecessor, which was trashed by critics, receiving only a 30% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. But if you look at the fan ratings, they’re higher with 81%, although it’s hard not to be

I’m thinking that bearing COVID in mind and the law of depreciation since the previous movie, Venom: Let There Be Carnage will probably be good for around $50 million this weekend, maybe a little more, but however it’s received, I expect it to drop significantly next week, though a total domestic gross of $135 to 140 million seems reasonable.

Another strong sequel to kick off October is the animated THE ADDAMS FAMILY II (MGM), which is following up the 2019 hit for MGM/UA Releasing with most of the voice cast returning, including Oscar Isaac, Charlize Theron, Chloe Grace Moretz, and Finn Wolfhard, as well as Nick Kroll, Snoop Dogg, Martin Short, Catherine O’Hara, and Bette Midler voicing the popular characters from the New Yorker cartoons, a popular ‘60s TV series, and two Barry Sonnenfeld movies from the ‘90s.

The 2019 animated film was a pretty solid hit for the newly-launched UA Releasing, grossing $100 million domestic after a $30.3 million opening, making it one of MGM’s biggest hits since it was restructured under UA and became its own distributor again. Who knows what’s going to happen with Amazon’s plans on buying MGM and whether the latter will remain a distribution wing, but MGM still has a number of movies out this year that likely will be awards contenders. But that doesn’t mean much for The Addams Family II, which will try to get some of those people who paid to see the original movie in theaters back to see the sequel… and if they’re not going to theaters, MGM is once again offering the movie day-and-date on VOD much like they did with last year’s Bill and Ted Face the Music, which opened much earlier in the pandemic (late august, 2020), so it far fewer options to see it in theaters compared to this animated sequel.

It’s highly doubtful that The Addams Family II was going to open anywhere near to $30 million even if there wasn’t a pandemic, and it wasn’t on VOD just because MGM just doesn’t seem to be marketing the movie as well as its predecessor. You can blame COVID if you want, but it’s also the fact they’re distributing the company’s first James Bond movie in six years, No Time To Die, on their own vs. through another distributor, ala the last few Daniel Craig Bonds. But we’ll talk more about that next week, since that’s going to be an important movie to help cover MGM’s expenses for the rest of 2021. (I haven’t had a chance to see this yet, but it’s embargoed until Friday, so wouldn’t be able to get a review into the column regardless.)

We’ve seen quite a few family hits over the past few months even when the movies were already on streaming/VOD, but parents are probably being a bit more careful with kids back in school, many younger kids still not vaccinated, and the Delta variant still not quite under control. Because of those factors, I think The Addams Family II is more likely to do somewhere between $15 and 18 million its opening weekend, maybe more on the lower side.

Third up is THE MANY SAINTS OF NEWARK (New Line/WB), David Chase’s prequel to his hit HBO series, The Sopranos, which went off the air in 2004 but still finds fans on the new HBO Max streamer. Ironically, this prequel will air on the streamer at the same time as it's getting a theatrical release, which probably won't be a very tough choice for fans.

Chase has reunited with director Alan Taylor, who won a Primetime Emmy for his work on the show in 2007 before moving onto other popular shows like HBO's Game of Thrones. Taylor has had a bit of a rough career in film, though, having directed Marvel Studios’ sequel, Thor: The Dark World, a movie that wasn't received very well although there were rumors that Taylor butted heads with the producers and maybe didn't even finish the movie. He went on to direct Terminator Genesys, which honestly, I can't remember if it was the worst Terminator movie, but it was pretty bad.

What's interesting is that because this is a prequel set in the '70s and '80s, none of the actors from the show appear on it, but it does star Alessandro Nivola, a great actor in one of his meatiest roles for a studio movie. It also introduces Michael Gandolfini, son of the late James Gandolfini (who played Tony Soprano, if you didn't know), playing the teenage Tony, plus it has great roles for the likes of Jon Bernthal (as Tony's father), Vera Farmiga (playing Tony's mother), Corey Stoll (playing the younger "Junior” Soprano), and Lesile Odom Jr, as the Sopranos key adversary, even though he ends up coming across like the good guy of the movie. It also stars Billy Magnussen, who oddly, also has a key role in next week's No Time to Die.

I'm sure there's quite a bit of interest in seeing where Tony came from and to learn more about his family, many who were dead long before the events of the HBO show, but will that be enough to get them into theaters when they already have HBO? I already reviewed the movie for Below the Line, and reviews are generally positive, which might get people more interested in this prequel.

As with most of Warner Bros’ movies this year, Many Saints will also debut on HBO Max and unlike some of the studio’s other 2021 offerings, it will actually make more sense to watch this one on the streamer since that’s how most people watched The Sopranos. That seems like a killer for Many Saints, and it’s likely to keep it opening under $10 million, where it might have done better on a different weekend (like sometime over the last two weeks).

This is what I have this weekend’s top 10 looking like:

1. Venom: Let There Be Carnage (Sony) - $50.4 million N/A

2. The Addams Family II (MGM/UA Releasing) - $16.5 million N/A

3. The Many Saints of Newark (New Line/WB) - $9 million N/A

4. Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (Marvel/Disney) - $7.5 million -44%

5. Dear Evan Hansen (Universal) - $4.1 million -45%

6. Free Guy (20th Century/Disney) - $3.3 million -30%

7. Jungle Cruise (Disney) - $1.1 million -35%

8. Candyman (Universal) - $1.3 million -48%

9. Cry Macho (Warner Bros.) - $1 million -52%

10. Malignant (Warner Bros.) - .7 million -53%

Opening in select cities is French filmmaker Julia (Raw) Ducournau’s TITANE (Neon), the genre thriller that won this year’s coveted Palme D’Or at the Cannes Film Festival. It stars Agathe Rouselle as a young woman who has an interesting relationship with automobiles, but she also has psychotic tendencies that leaves a trail of bodies behind her. On the run, she decides to pretend she’s the missing son of a fireman (Vincent Lindon), who has been missing for 10 years, and things just get weirder from there.

I honestly wasen’t sure what to expect from this although I do remember walking out of Ducournau’s cannibal movie, Raw, just because it was so gross, even though so many of my colleagues and friends swear by the movie, and this one, for that matter. Sure, there’s a certain “prove it” factor to me watching a movie that wins the Palme D’Or, because it’s very rare that I like the movies that do win that benchmark cinema award.

After a flashback to Agathe’s character Alexia when she was an obstinate young girl kicking the back seat of her father as he’s driving. They crash and she’s forced to get surgery that puts an odd looking piece of metal in her head. Decades later, she seems to be a pseudo-stripper at weird punk rock car show -- I guess they do those things different in France -- and hooking up with a fellow “model” afterwards. Agathe is actually a very popular model/dancer but when one fan gets too grabby, she pulls a knitting needle out of her hair and stabs it through his ear, killing him. Oh, yeah, she then has sex with a car and seemingly gets pregnant, but that only happens later. First, she goes on a bit of a killing spree and then goes on a run and decides that by strapping up her breasts and breaking her nose, she can pass off this fire captain’s son… and it works!

So the second half deals with acting great Vincent Lindon’s absolutely bonkers steroid-addicted man who seems to be sexually attracted to his own son, and most of his fellow firefighters knows that he’s gay but in the closet, but I’m honestly not sure what that matters. He’s a pretty disgusting character whose 70-year-old ass we see way too much of, and even those who might find Rouselle to be quite fetching, there’s a certain point where her nudity is not alluring but quite horrifying.

Oh, and at this time, Alexia (or Adrien, as she’s now going) has also gotten significantly pregnant, but it’s not a normal pregnancy because what should be milk from her breasts seems to some sort of motor oil. That’s because she FUCKED A CAR earlier in the movie!!! What do you expect when you fuck a car and don’t use protection, girlie? The fact Alexia/Adrien is trying to hide the fact she’s a pregnant woman from a station full of men isn’t even particularly disturbing. The part that really got me was when she broke her own nose to pass off as this guy’s son -- I actually had to look away for that part.

Listen I’m no prude, and I think I can handle most things in terms of horror and gore, but Titane just annoyed me, because it felt like Ms Ducournau was doing a lot of what we see more for shock value than to actually drive the story forward. There just doesn’t seem to be much point to any of it, and once the movie gets to the firehouse, and we see her interaction (as a young man) with her “father” and his colleagues, it just gets more grueling.

It’s as if Ducournau had watched a lot of movies by the likes of Cronenberg or David Lynch, or more likely Nicolas Refn or Lars von Trier, and thought, “I could be just as strange and horrific as those men… let’s see what people think of this.” And way too many people fell for it, including the Cannes jury. While I normally would approve of any good body horror movie, especially one with cinematography, score and musical selections as good as this one, I doubt I’d ever want to watch this movie again. And therefore, I don’t think I can recommend this movie to anyone either, at least no one I want to remain my friend.

As far as the movie’s box office, NEON is opening the movie in 562 theaters to build on buzz from various film festivals, including the New York Film Festival earlier this week. I think it should be good for half a million this weekend, although maybe it'll surprise me like NEON's release of Parasite a few years back. I just don't see this getting into the top 10 but maybe just outside it.

And then we have a few more movies that I got screeners for but just couldn’t find the time to watch, but might do so once I finish this verdammt column.

The faith-based doc THE JESUS MUSIC (Lionsgate) by the Erwin Brothers (I Can Only Imagine, I Still Believe) takes a look at the rise of Christian Contemporary Music through artists like Amy Grant and Stryper and everything in between, featuring lots of interviews of the artists’ trials and triumphs. Even though there isn’t much CCM I ever listen to, I’m still kind of curious about this one, since I generally like music docs and this is guaranteed not to be the sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll of most of them. I have no idea how wide Lionsgate intends to release this but it certainly can be fairly wide, because the Erwins have delivered at least one giant hit for Lionsgate, and I Still Believe may have been another one if not for the pandemic. It actually opened on March 13, just days before movie theaters shut down across the country, so it's little surprise it only made $7 million domestic. That said, the acts in this one have a lot of fans, and if Lionsgate does release The Jesus Music into 1,000 theaters or so (which is very doable), then I would expect it would make between $1 and 2 million, which would be enough to break into the Top 10.

I haven't seen any of the movies based on Anna Todd's YA romance novels but the third of them, AFTER WE FELL, will play in about 1,311 theaters on Thursday i.e. tonight through Fathom Events, and may or may not continue through the weekend. These movies just kind of show up, and again, having not seen any of them, I'm not sure what kind of audience they have, but this one stars Josephine Langford and Hero Fiennes, as well as Stephen Moyer, Mira Sorvino and Arielle Kebbel with Castille Landon directing.

Grace Van Patten (Under the Silver Lake) stars in Karen Cinorre’s action-fantasy film MAYDAY (Magnolia), playing Ana, a young woman who is transported to a “dreamlike and dangerous” coastline where she joins a female army in a never-ending war where women lure men to their deaths. It also stars Mia Goth, Havana Rose Liu, Soko, Théodore Pellerin and Juliette Lewis. It will be in theaters and On Demand this Friday.

The great Tim Blake Nelson stars in Potsy Ponciroli’s action-Western OLD HENRY (Shout! Studios/Hideout) about a widowed farmer and son who take in an injured man with a satchel full of cash only to have to fend off a posse who come after the man, claiming to be the law. Not sure who to trust, the farmer has to use his gun skills to defend his home and the stranger.

The romantic-comedy FALLING FOR FIGARO (IFC Films) is the new movie from Australian filmmaker Ben Lewin (The Sessions), who I’ve interviewed a few times, and he’s a really nice chap. This one stars Danielle Macdonald, Hugh Skinner, and Joanna Lumley, and it will be in theaters and On Demand this Friday. This rom-com is set in the world of opera singing competitions with Macdonald playing Millie, a brilliant young fund manager who decides to chase her dream of being an opera singer in the Scottish Highlands. She begins vocal training lessons with a former opera diva, played by Lumley, where she meets Max, a young man also training for that competition. Could love blossom? This actually sounds like my kind of movie, so I’ll definitely try to watch soon.

The second season of “Welcome to Blumhouse” the horror movie anthology kicks off on Amazon Prime Video on Friday with the first two movies, Maritte Lee Go’s Black as Night (which I’ve seen) and Gigi Saul Guerrero’s Bingo Night (which I haven’t), and actually I’ll have an interview with Ms. Go over at Below the Line possibly later this week. The former stars Ashja Cooper as a teen girl living in Louisiana who has a bad experience with homeless vampires, along with her best friend (Fabrizio Guido).

Also, Antoine Fuqua and Jake Gyllenhaal’s remake of the Danish film THE GUILTY will begin streaming on Netflix starting Friday after premiering at TIFF a few weeks back. I never got around to reviewing it, but it’s pretty good, maybe a little better than the original movie but essentially the same. I’d definitely recommend it if you like Jake, because he’s definitely terrific in it.

Also hitting Netflix this week is Juana Macias' SOUNDS LIKE LOVE (Netflix), a Spanish language romance movie that (guess) I haven't seen!

A few other movies I didn’t get to this week, include:

STOP AND GO (Decal) VAL (Dread) BLUSH (UA Releasing) RUNT (1091 Pictures)

Next week, it’s not time for James Bond, it’s time for James Bond to die… no, wait… there is NO TIME TO DIE! Also, a very, very special anniversary for the Weekend Warrior….

[goldeneyedgirl]

TwiFicMas2020 Day 1: Anathema

It’s that time of year again - when I bombard you with fic I’ve written over the year and haven’t posted, whether it is an outtake, part of a WIP, or something that ended up going sideways but still had some cool bits I was proud of. 

Everything will be tracked under the ‘TwiFicMas2020′ and ‘FicMas2020′ tags. Most fics are incomplete scenes - “--” is a scene break, “//” means that there’s a cut - it’s probably not yet written. 

--

First up is Anathema, the fourth or fifth attempt at the ‘Alice works in a mortuary/funeral home’ idea that refuses to solidify itself - though I think I’m getting closer. I enjoy the idea that Charlie Swan is in on Forks’ secrets (before Jacob strips in front of him, lol) and I am always here for the supernatural world being more than just vampires and shifters. 

I hope you enjoy and thank you for reading!

The day the Cullens arrive in Forks, two things happen.

The first, I draw both Death, and the Wheel of Fortune. A combination that, frankly, sounds time-consuming. I lie in bed and contemplate them for awhile. The cards are soft, from lifetimes of passing from hand to hand (my dearest and most beloved Great-Aunt Jeanne passed this set to me when she died. At the time, I was too young to understand the true gift in cards that had never before been touched by Brandon hands - before mine.) The cards are illustrated so carefully, so detailed. They smell like dried lavender and the scrap of linen that I wrap them in, and there is something so reassuring about each and every card.

I draw my cards every few days before I get up. I find it calming, the shuffle of them against my fingers, as I let my dreams fade. It’s a quiet time, and one I savour.

Eventually, I do have to get up, though. No rest for the wicked. The cards go back into the wooden jewellery box some young man carved for some young woman in Jeanie’s family long before I was even a glimpse of a thought, and back into my nightstand drawer.

I - we - live on the first floor of the Brandon Funeral Home, a perfectly respectable converted Georgian house at the end of Main Street, where it sweeps around to Cedar Road. It’s a shit place to have a corner, and more than once speed racers have spun out; whoever’s scraped off the road and our front walk usually end up in the freezers in the basement.

But I digress.

Breakfast is mundane. Dulcie is there, hair in curlers, and a frown on her face when she realises I am not dressed. I sit crosslegged across two thrift-store chairs in my camisole and booty shorts, spooning jam onto toast with the precision of a good scientist and ignore her reminding me of my dressing gown (a sturdy pink-flower print flannel that is buried in my closet. My preferred robe, a thin grey kimono, is currently in my laundry pile) and ‘common decency’, as if my elderly great-uncle is looking to leer at the decided lack of anything I have up north or down south.

Dulcie is… Dulcie. No replacement for Aunt Jeanie, but a good woman. I find it funny that Uncle Freddie is an old man now, and he still reels ‘em in. Or he would if Jeanie’s death hadn’t broken, shattered, and wrecked him. Dulcie worked for us for a few years before she set her eyes on the top bedroom and changing ‘Dulcie Dunn-Stanley’ to ‘Dulcie Brandon’.

Oh, that sounds very jaded. It’s mutual, Freddie and Dulcie. Their courtship was glacial and it’s really only recently that Dulcie’s been hinting about heading to the court house. And, honestly, whatever makes Uncle Freddie happy. Dulcie’s kind to me, we mostly get along, and her attempts to mother me are so far inconsistent - but she is usually pretty respectful.

My uncle lingers over his food; he’s got a new book open at his elbow, and no one can pry my uncle away from his books. They’re usually hardcover, non-fiction. Most of the boxes stored in the third floor are my uncles books.

After breakfast, I am banished to get dressed for work, which is in the basement today, where I am to be the hands as we prepare one Lewis Fletcher for his Saturday morning funeral. There’s a sack of bagged organs resting in the chest cavity, from the autopsy (elk or deer attack, the report says), and I get to stitch Lewis back together, get to fill him full of chemicals, seal things with putty, and get to face painting. The Fletchers are a pretty ordinary family locally, and the service will be simple - they were very agreeable when Freddie met with them last week.

I put my music on and hum as I prepare my kit. It’s no secret that an unqualified teenage girl doing this work probably breaks a lot of laws, but Freddie’s hands aren’t as steady as they used to be, and he’s old enough to remember when a family business meant that the younger generation was trained by the older at home, no degrees or certifications necessary.

Sometimes I wonder what Jeanie would have thought, me working down here like this. Would she have understood? Would she have been mad or upset or disappointed?

We’ll never know.

Freddie fetches us both a cup of tea, and hovers at my shoulder as I piece together Mr Fletcher’s chest cavity.

“Smaller stitches, Alice,” Freddie says, inspecting my work carefully. “Redo that section, stitch closer together, and small stitches.”

I nod, turning around to grab a scalpel from the tray beside me to cut the wonky stitches free and start again, and I freeze as the ice-cold feeling envelopes me. No, no, no it’s been so long…

For a moment, I am unfixed in time and space. I am still in the basement, with the buzzing fluorescent lights, and smooth metal drawers and cupboards, the stink of formaldehyde. But instead of a clean, bare second table, I am lying there. But I’m not dead, and I’m not alone. It’s him. The boy - man? - I’ve been seeing for so long, in visions and dreams. He’s hovering above me, a veritable sculpture of pale flesh as he peels off his shirt, our mouths still fused together, my hands gripping his hips. I am a much less collected figure, with my tights around my knees, one shoe still on and my shirt hiked up over my bra. Vision-Me pulls away to say something, and He laughs, and it’s then the light catches his eyes. Dark gold.

Golden-eyes.

“Oh fuck,” Real-Me says, and somehow Vision-Him knows I’m Seeing and looks right at me, where I’m standing with a scalpel in my hand.

“Alice?” My uncle’s hand on my shoulders brings me right back to the right point in time and space.

It’s at the point I hit the floor, manage to stab myself quite viciously with the scalpel and my uncle starts cussing.

It’s been a while between visions.

//

The Council was basically the reason Freddie and I stayed in Forks. It was a fifty-fifty split between honouring Jeanie’s wishes, and keeping me safe and out of sight - as if my aspirations were towards a Vegas nightclub act or international pop star. I wasn’t entirely clueless.  

Forks was built in a special place. A place where the barriers between the ordinary and the extraordinary were a little thinner, where the supernatural were drawn to. Jeanie had theorised that was why the Quileute were able to tap into their spirit wolves so easily, and why the gene remained so strong, father to son without a constant presence of their enemies. I didn’t know enough of their history to have an opinion, but Forks was definitely a place with an interesting history that very few people knew - even I only knew a fraction of everything that happened, past and present. There were very few written accounts; most of the histories were oral and passed down on a strict need-to-know basis.

The Council were definitely in the know, and had been for generations. There was Billy Black, Sue and Harry Clearwater representing the Quileute tribe, there was Charlie Swan representing Forks and everyone not in the know, and there was Freddie and I. Freddie, was technically Jeanie’s representative, and was the Mediator between the Ordinary and the Others. Jeanie’s family had been Mediators for generations, but she’d never had children, so all of that had somehow fallen onto Freddie - and me.

It was extremely useful to have the Police Chief and a Mortician working the Council - we’d had to fudge more than a few deaths. There was always someone or something passing through the Olympic Peninsula, and we’d negotiated, challenged, threatened, and banished more than a few creatures over the last few years.

Technically, all parties were allowed to bring their apprentice representative, but I was the only one of the next generation who attended. Charlie Swan had made it clear he didn’t want his daughter involved in any of this, and both Billy and the Clearwaters had decided that their kids were too young to know exactly what went on around here. I figured in a decade or so, it would just be me, Seth, and Jacob Black (no way would Leah hang around just for this shit show), drinking beer in the woods and deciding whether to burn or bury.

But tonight’s meeting was Special. Despite the fact I’d been drawing nonsensical cards for days now - the Star, the Tower, and Justice - no visions had appeared beyond a dream about a locket with ‘W’ engraved on it. I’d expected a fairly normal meeting, until Freddie had let me in on the plan - we were, apparently, meeting with the Cullen family. No one had informed me exactly what or who the Cullens were, only that they had a ‘fourth seat’ in the Council that they’d been entitled to since the ‘30s. I’d have to go through Jeanie’s diaries again - there were boxes of them in storage, and Jeanie had useful tidbits dotted throughout.

So that was why I was in the forest with my grandfather, shivering underneath two coats and in my new fleecy boots, standing around a fire pit that didn’t really do much more than illuminate the burning wood; the lanterns we’d brought were more effective.

Some days I really wished Leah or Seth or Jacob Black would attend these meetings; they’d certainly liven up these meetings a bit.

“They’ll be here soon,” Billy Black said grimly. Billy Black had it worse than the rest of us - getting out to this part of the forest was awkward and time-consuming with his wheelchair. Since these meetings were clandestine, we couldn’t build a proper track.

“The terms are staying the same?” Charlie asked, sipping from a paper cup of coffee Sue had pressed on him.

Billy frowned. “We aren’t here to renegotiate, but we will listen to their petition if they have one,” he said finally.

“What are the existing terms?” I asked, nudging a mossy rock with my toe.

“We’ll go over that later on, Alice,” Freddie said, watching the woods carefully.

Fine, obstruct my completely transparent attempt at finding out what was actually going on. I was definitely intrigued by the idea this clan had a ‘seat’ at the Council, but it involve negotiations? The only creature I could think of that would fit that kind of profile would be some kind of shifter.

I was bored.

And then the mysterious Cullens arrived.

They came out of the woods like a mist; slowly but all at once. They kept a respectful distance away from the fire pit, clad in pristine new clothing that was a touch too light for the cold weather but was good quality. There were three of them - a blond man, a brunette woman, and a red-haired boy - all three of them taller than average, and pale as snow. And they were lovely, as if Grecian statues had climbed down from their plinth and wandered off.

“Hello,” the man said, nodding at us politely. “Thank you for welcoming us to this meeting.”

“You’ve a right to be here, as outlined in the treaty,” Billy Black said sternly. “This is the current Council - Charlie Swan for Forks. My self, Billy Black, and Harry and Sue Clearwater for the Quileute tribe. Fred Brandon as Mediator. Carlisle Cullen for the Cullen Coven.”

Coven meant vampires. That dampened my spirits a little; my history with vampires was messy. Plus the few vampires that had ventured into this area had been unpleasant experiences. But as I stared at the Cullen coven, I noticed their eyes.

Golden, like liquid light.

Was He one of them? Was the Cullen coven only these three, or where there more?

“And the young lady?” Carlisle Cullen said, looking in my direction.

“My niece,” Freddie said in a no-nonsense tone. “Shall we begin?”

“I assume Ursula Altis has since passed? My condolences to her family,” Carlisle Cullen said. “I had a great respect for Ursula.”

“Yes. Ursula’s apprentice passed on several years ago, and she named Fred and Alice as her successors,” Harry said.

“I am sorry for your loss,” Carlisle Cullen nodded at Freddie and I. I half-smiled back at him. Jeanie had been gone a long time but I still missed her.

“This is my wife, Esme, and my oldest son Edward,” Carlisle gestured to his two companions.

“Oldest son?” Charlie Swan said sharply.

“Yes - I have three others, but we did not want to overwhelm you,” Carlisle said. “They are here, if you would like to meet them?”

“Yes. We want to know the entirety of your coven,” Harry said bluntly.

Carlisle grimaced and nodded. “Of course. My other children - Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper.”

Three more Cullens materialised from behind Carlisle Cullen - a tall blonde girl who was utterly breathtaking to look at, had a displeased expression, and was wearing the genuine designer version of my knock-off winter coat. The second was a bear of a man, with the friendliest face, and curly black hair, who winked at me as he wrapped an arm around the blonde girl’s shoulders.

And then a lanky blond boy with a dark expression and wavy blond hair, who hovered in the shadows, his features mostly obscured. All of them had the same golden eyes, the same pallor and dark under-eye circles. But they didn’t look or behave like other nomads that had passed through. They looked… like a nice family.

Maybe in a decade, Jacob, Seth, and I would be joined by Emmett Cullen for the ‘burn or bury’ booze up. He looked like he’d be the most up for livening up these meetings.

“Your family has grown.” Billy’s voice was accusing, and I turned to look at his stern expression.

“My son, Jasper, joined us in 1965,” Carlisle Cullen said politely, “Looking for a different lifestyle. We have abided by your terms, and would not have returned to this area if we were not prepared to continue to do so.”

The Quiluetes weren’t thrilled with that news, and Charlie just looked kind of tired. Freddie was taking notes on his phone, and I was just cold and getting bored again… until I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye.

Jasper was prowling away from the others, closer to me, where I stood at my uncle’s side. Both eyes were on me, like liquid amber, and I finally got a good look at him.

Jasper was Him - the boy hovering over me, half-dressed on the gurney; the boy kissing my scar, and sliding in behind me in the shower. The boy that had hovered at the edges of my visions and dreams since I was young, with adoration in his eyes and gentle touches.

The boy I’d love so fiercely and deeply…

Talk about a terrible time to finally meet.

“Oh fuck,” I said, as I looked at him, eyes wide. All those wretched cliches that terrible books write about happened at that moment. I was enchanted, besotted, and absolutely irrevocably attached to this Jasper Cullen. He was mine.

“Step back!” Harry barked out, but Jasper Cullen ignored him, watching me carefully. I couldn’t help myself; I smiled brightly at him, and he kept moving towards me. Flashes of knowledge were appearing in my head, and for some reasons I kept seeing the Lovers card, still in my deck at home. I could hear people talking, getting angry, but it was like the buzz of insects as Jasper Cullen got closer to me. His hand reached out slowly, to stroke the curve of my cheek, studying me with the strangest look on his face.

And then the pain hit, like someone had shoved an ice pick through my left eye and into my brain. The visions were folding over and over, like origami, before I could decipher them. Choices being made, minds changing, so fast I could keep up. I heard myself cry out as I fell, and then everything was dark.

Then I was seeing things in real time. The way I fell, blood running from my nose, to everyone’s utter horror. My eyes were rolled back in my head, and my body jerked in a seizure a few times before I was still.

But no one could get near me. As soon as I had fallen, Jasper had crouched over my prone form, with a horrified look on his face. Everyone was yelling and trying to get closer, and Jasper let out a snarl that was, frankly, terrifying before refocusing on me, taking my hand and plucking my glove off it, to rest against his own cheek. Whatever that was supposed to achieve did nothing, and whilst everyone else was yelling and bickering, he let out a low whine that was so pathetic, if I’d had any control over my body, I would have sat up and given him a hug.

Then Carlisle Cullen placed his hands up to the Council in a gesture of peace and nodded to Emmett before approaching Jasper.

The conversation would have been too low for anyone else to hear, but not me, in whatever kind of vision this was.

“Jasper, I understand,” Carlisle Cullen said in a low voice. “But she’s got a medical condition, you need to let her people take care of her.”

Jasper growled low, Emmett’s hand on his shoulder.

“Bro, c’mon,” he said. “You’re scaring them,” he nodded over his shoulder. Sue’s face was white with fear, and I was scared that Harry was going to stroke out on the spot.

And I was there, Sleeping Beauty, with a smear of fresh blood on my face.

“I can’t,” Jasper seemed to force out between gritted teeth. “She’s mine.” It was said with determination and desperation, and a deep tenderness.

I was pleased that whatever my embarrassing collapse had been, at least I knew we were on the same page -that we knew each other and we knew each other.

And just like that, like they were magic words, my eyes open and I was back in reality, staring up at the man-boy who was staring at me like I held the secrets to the universe.

“Alice, did he hurt you?” Freddie called out in a strained voice.

“No, that was me. Too much new information,” I said, as I began to sit up, Jasper sliding my glove back on my hand before I realised it was still missing. He held out his hand to help me up, his touch so careful and gentle.

“Okay, good. Come over here,” Freddie motioned for me to move to where the group seemed to have bunched across from the Cullens. Charlie Swan looked murderous. “She’s nothing to you, boy, just let her go.”

I winced when Freddie said that, realising immediately it was like a red flag to a bull, and all of a sudden there was a lot of motion. Jasper growled, attempting to shove me behind him - to protect me? - whilst Emmett and Carlisle Cullen decided it was time to get Jasper physically under control, and pulled him back towards where the rest of the family was standing.

I tripped over a rock and stumbled but righted myself as Jasper was bodily dragged back to where Esme, Rosalie, and Edward Cullen were waiting, looking worried.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” Mrs Cullen asked as I moved back to Freddie’s side, where he quickly clasped me to him, giving me the once over.

“I’m fine,” I said before catching Emmett having bent Jasper’s arms behind  his back at a hideous angle, his knee digging into Jasper’s spine. “Oh, don’t hurt him! Please!” I made a move towards them but Sue grabbed my arm, and Jasper turned to stare at me with what I can only describe as hope.

“I think this meeting is done,” Charlie Swan said finally. “You agree to maintain the existing treaty - that’s all we need. Thank you for coming.”

“Of course, we don’t want to cause any issues,” Mrs Cullen said, and Freddie snorted, shielding me with his body.

I felt like a prisoner being frog-marched back to the car.

“Back at the Brandon’s?” Charlie said, as we arrived at the cars.

“Of course,” Freddie said. “Coffee and debrief.”

//

[averygroovymutant]

My Way Home is Through You

Summary: Dean doesn't cope well with Castiel's death.

Pairing: Dean x Castiel

Warnings: (Temporary) Main Character Death, Internalized Biphobia, LOTS OF ANGST, Spoilers for up to 15.19 - ignores the dumpster fire that was 15.20

Words: 5,221

(A/N: I wrote this pre-finale because I was terrified about what would happen in it, turns out I was right to be. I'm heartbroken. Supernatural really said 'fuck the LGBTQ community', huh?)

(Read on AO3) “I love you.”

Dean stood, rooted to the spot, in utter shock. Cas loved him? Cas loved him? His head was spinning and, honestly, he had no idea what was going on. His best friend was sobbing in front of him and confessing his love while Death was literally banging on the door. There was too much happening and Dean's brain was not working fast enough to process it. Cas' gaze flickered to something behind Dean and he turned to see a dark, gloopy-looking portal had opened.

On the other side of the room, the clumsy warding Cas had applied finally gave out and the door burst open to reveal Billie standing there, scythe at the ready. Dean looked back to Cas in panic, knowing this would be his last chance to say something, anything, to the angel. “Cas, I–” he began, but Cas stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

“Goodbye, Dean,” he said, and before Dean knew what was happening, he was thrown to the floor.

In a flash, The Empty was on Cas – and Billie – devouring them in a flurry of darkness, and Dean was left alone, in the silence of the bunker, with nothing left of his best friend but a bloody handprint on his jacket.

The world was ending, but Dean couldn’t bring himself to get up. His world had been ripped from him, and he had never even gotten the chance to tell Cas how much he had meant to him. Ten years Dean had wasted, hiding his feelings for the angel, when he could have just been happy. A sob ripped its way free from his throat, and once they started, Dean found he couldn’t stop them.

 ~

 Dean awoke with a start, shaking and sweaty, with tearstained cheeks. He had not meant to fall asleep; he had not slept more than a handful of hours since they had returned to the bunker, after stripping Chuck of his powers, as every time he allowed himself to drift off he was greeted by the same nightmare. He wondered if he would ever be free of the memory, of the pain and regret he felt at the words he had left unsaid, despite the fact he had nothing to lose by finally speaking them out loud.

“I need a beer,” he muttered to himself.

In the kitchen he found Sam, on a video call to Eileen, which he promptly ended once he looked up and saw the state Dean was in.

They sat in the war room together, Dean on the floor, leant against the wall, and Sam at the table. They drank to their newfound freedom, to the people they had saved; to the friends they had lost along the way. But no matter how much Dean drank, he couldn’t stop thinking about Cas, the look on his face as the Empty swallowed him, the words he had uttered to summon it–

“What really happened, Dean? With Cas?” Sam asked suddenly, shaking Dean from his spiralling thoughts. “Jack told me about the deal; Cas was only supposed to be taken when he felt true happiness. I know there’s something you’re not telling me.”

Concern was written all over his brother’s features and Dean was just the right mix of tired and drunk and fucking heartbroken that he didn’t even try to stop the words from spilling out of his mouth. “He said he loved me,” he muttered, looking up at Sam with glassy eyes.

“Oh,” was all the younger man said. No hint of confusion, or surprise - or disgust, Dean noted - just understanding.

How can he just accept that? Dean thought, My entire world has been shattered and he says ‘oh’? How does he not have questions?

Dean had questions – so many questions – but there was one that he had been simultaneously desperate and terrified to ask, ever since Cas had said those words; a question to which he was sure that whatever the answer was, it would break him.

“But what did he mean?”

Sam looked at him, one eyebrow raised in confusion, an invitation for Dean to continue.

“Angels… They don’t feel things like humans,” Dean stated, trying to keep his voice even. “So, what did he actually mean when he told me he loved me?”

“It’s been a long time since Cas was like the rest of the angels, Dean,” Sam said patiently, placing his beer down on the table and looking at Dean seriously. “I’m pretty sure he meant exactly what you think he did.”

Perhaps Dean should have expected that to be the answer – Cas had, after all, said that Dean’s love was 'the one thing he knew he could never have’ – but he had been so deeply in denial that Sam’s answer still shocked him. Shocked him, and broke him, like he knew it would; he had let Cas die thinking his love wasn’t returned because, for all these years, he had been scared of what people might think. Scared of disappointing a father he could never gain the approval of anyway. Scared of losing the adoration of his little brother - but the look on Sam’s face made it very clear that he had had nothing to fear.

“You- you knew?” Dean asked, his voice breaking slightly as he held back the tears threatening to fall.

“It was obvious,” Sam replied simply, a sad smile gracing his features, before adding. “You mean to say, you didn’t?”

Dean pressed his palms against his eyes and shook his head, unable to form any more words as sobs wracked his body.

 ~

 Sam looked down at Dean, sprawled on the floor, whisky bottle still in hand. He had sat on the floor most of the night with Dean as he cried, and drank, and cried some more; he had held his brother as he sobbed into Sam’s shoulder, soaking his shirt through with tears. They weren’t usually huggers, but Dean wasn’t usually a crier either – a lot had changed over the last few days.

Sam had watched as the broken man eventually passed out from sheer exhaustion. He hadn’t wanted to move him for fear of waking him up, knowing the state Dean was in he would never sleep by choice, so Sam grabbed some pillows from his room and placed them under Dean’s head.

He thought back to his call with Eileen earlier, when he had explained to her everything that had gone down. He was desperate to see her but he didn’t know what Dean would do if left on his own right now, so had told Eileen he needed to be there for Dean and Eileen had understood, of course. She had assured Sam that she was fine and he could take all the time he needed to look after his brother, and Sam loved her even more for her compassion. In the days that followed, Sam pottered around the bunker attempting to restore some of its power with spells from the books Rowena had left him. He managed to get the monster radar and alarm system back online and was pretty pleased with himself for that.

Dean was like a zombie, only sleeping when he absolutely couldn’t stay awake or when he drank himself unconscious. Sometimes he started crying over the weirdest things, things Sam never would have even related to Cas. Before, Dean would have tried to hide his pain from his brother, considering it a weakness, but it seemed to Sam as though this sadness was so vast he simply didn’t care anymore.

 ~

 Cas did not know how time worked in The Empty, but he thought it had taken Billie a long time to die. The infection seemed to spread through her body far slower in The Empty’s domain than it had when they had both been on Earth; possibly the creature’s punishment for her unforgivable betrayal. Cas had watched, frozen in place, as her body finally gave out and she dropped to the floor, immediately sinking into a pool of darkness, leaving only her scythe behind.

And then The Empty had turned on him. “I’m so happy I will finally be able to go back to sleep,” it told him. It had been wearing Meg’s face previously, but as it spoke, its form quickly shifted to that of the man Cas had given his life for. “But first, I think you deserve a bit of pain,” as it spoke, The Empty twisted Cas’ insides until he was screaming in agony. “Was it worth it?” The Empty snarled through Dean’s face. “Sacrificing yourself for one man who doesn’t even care about you? Giving up a millennia for a human who will be gone in the blink of an eye… Or sooner than that, even. What you did made no difference; you probably bought him a day, at most. He can’t stop God.”

On and on this went, the taunting, the torture, the constant talk of Dean’s death while the creature wore his face. Cas had no idea how long he had been there, it could have been hours, could have been days – time meant nothing in The Empty. The more The Empty talked, the more Cas started to believe what it was saying. He didn’t regret giving up his life for Dean but maybe, maybe if he had found another way to save him from Billie, he could still be there to protect him, keep him safe from Chuck - help him win.

I shouldn’t have left him.

The Empty threw Cas across the endless stretch of nothingness and Cas collided with something solid.

Curious, he thought, Surely I’m the only thing here?

Another wave of intense pain hit him and he clenched his fists, trying his best to contain the screams threatening to burst out of him. In a brief painless moment, while The Empty taunted him more about Dean’s inevitable death, Cas looked at the item he had collided with.

Billie’s scythe. Suddenly, Cas had an idea. A stupid, crazy idea, but what did he have left to lose? Surely he was dead either way? Picking the scythe up, he turned to face The Empty.

“That won’t kill me,” The Empty cackled, flicking its finger and sending a jolt of pain up Cas’ spine.

Cas gripped the scythe tighter as he grit his teeth, riding out the pain.

“I… don’t need… to kill you,” Cas growled, lifting the scythe towards himself.

Realization dawned on the creature’s version of Dean’s face.

“No,” it screeched. “We had a deal!” It dived towards Cas, sending an intense wave of pain through the angel as it did, but it wasn’t enough to stop him.

With all the strength he could muster he cut into his throat and let his grace drain from him.

There was an explosion of light and Cas felt himself being thrown backwards, through some invisible barrier, as if hitting the surface of water. And then, he finally fell asleep.

 ~

 Dean had been dreaming, for the first time in days, of something other than The Empty taking Cas. Barn walls were shaking around him, light bulbs shattering above his head, and a figure approached with the bluest eyes he had ever seen.

I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.

Dean was ripped from his slumber by an alarm blaring throughout the bunker, Cas’ words still playing in his mind. Dean stretched as he stood up from the kitchen chair he had accidentally fallen asleep in; that dream had been the closest he had found to peace since Cas had been taken from him, yet even in the dream he had not been able to shake the sense of loss and regret.

Dean was unsure how long it had been since they had defeated God – it could have been days or weeks – and he hadn’t left the bunker since they’d returned to it. He knew Sam was worried about him; his random meltdowns over the smallest of things were so out of character it was unsurprising, but he simply didn’t know how to be normal after what had happened.

Dean groaned, reaching for the bottle of painkillers sitting on the kitchen counter as the alarm finally stopped and Sam rounded the corner.

“What was that about?” Dean growled, popping a painkiller in his mouth and downing it with a swig of whisky from the near-empty bottle on the table.

Sam shot him a judgmental look, but didn’t comment on it. “Massive energy spike in Illinois, not sure what it could be but I’m heading to check it out,” Sam said breathlessly, and from the panicked look in his eyes Dean could tell this was something big.

“Okay, give me a minute to get ready,” Dean said, attempting a grin. From the look Sam shot him in return, he didn’t get close.

“I didn’t think you’d want to come,” Sam responded, his eyebrows knitted together in confusion and concern. “You haven’t left the bunker in days…”

“Is that all it’s been?” Dean asked quietly. “Seems like an eternity…" He trailed off as his thoughts wandered back to tear-filled blue eyes and heartfelt confessions. He shut his eyes, willing the pain to go away but knowing it wouldn't. "Anyway," he continued as if nothing had happened. "If it’s that big, you’ll need help and it’s probably time for me to get back to what I do best. Killing things.”

Dean knew he was being less than convincing, but he was hoping Sam would just go along with it.

“I thought that wasn’t who you were?” Sam said softly, and Dean held back a sob as he thought of Cas’ words.

You think that hate and anger, that's what drives you – that’s who you are. It's not. And everyone who knows you sees it.

“Let’s just– Can we just get going, please?” Dean begged, and Sam nodded sadly.

“Meet you by the car in ten,” he said.

 ~

 When they reached the location the monster radar had given them, the sun was setting, its golden rays peeking over the horizon as they exited the car and trudged across the field towards the location pinpointed on their GPS. When Dean finally saw where they were heading to, a sense of dread crept over him. He ran ahead slightly, just to make sure this really was what he thought it was.

Straight ahead of them, framed by the setting sun, was a large barn.

“What the hell is this?” Dean growled, angry, but not sure at whom.

“What?” Sam asked, stopping a few meters behind his brother, worried all of a sudden. “Dean, are you okay?”

“This barn!” He shouted as he gestured towards it. “This goddamn barn, Sammy!” He turned on the spot and fixed Sam with a look that made his heart break a little, before falling to his knees.

“Dean!” Sam shouted, running towards the older man and sinking to the ground next to him. “What’s wrong?”

Tears streamed down his brother’s face as he gripped at Sam’s jacket. “It’s the barn, Sammy. It’s the barn!”

“The barn?” Sam questioned, completely and utterly lost.

“It’s where I met Cas, the first time, after he freed me from Hell. This is where we met.”

 Shit, Sam thought, There’s no way that’s a coincidence.

Dean noticed the panic on Sam’s face and tried to calm himself down.

“This is a trap, isn’t it?” He sniffed, rubbing aggressively at his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket. “It’s gotta be.”

“Yeah,” Sam said, helping Dean back up. “This is definitely not normal.”

 ~

 They entered the barn, slowly, carefully, with their guns drawn and their torches raised. The walls were still covered with the warding Dean and Bobby had painted all those years ago, and there, lying in the center of the devil’s trap they had sprayed on the floor, was a body.

“Is that–?” Sam began, before Dean let out a breathless cry.

“Cas?!”

He rushed towards the lifeless body immediately, ignoring Sam’s shouts for him to wait. Collapsing on the floor next to Cas, Dean cradled the other man in his arms. He looked unharmed apart from some dried blood on his neck, and Dean let out a loud gasp when he realised Cas was breathing, slow and rhythmically.

“Sammy!” Dean tried to shout, but it came out as more of a sob. “He’s alive.”

Sam was still standing by the entrance to the barn, his gun still raised as if he expected an enemy to jump out at any minute which was, of course, a logical assumption.

“Let’s get out of here, Dean,” Sam shouted, worry evident in his voice. “We don’t know who else could be out here, just grab Cas and let’s go.”

Dean gently gathered the angel in his arms and followed Sam out the barn, and back to the Impala. Surprisingly, they saw no-one on their way back to the car, a fact which only caused the boys to grow more suspicious.

“It’s definitely him, right?” Sam asked, as Dean placed Cas in the back seat before throwing Sam his keys.

“I’m as sure as I can be,” Dean replied. “We can do all the normal tests when he’s awake but… I think it’s really him, Sammy. There's just something about him... It... smells like him.”

“Smells like him?” Sam smirked, as Dean got into the back seat and laid Cas’ head gently in his lap.

“Shut up.”

 ~

 A couple of hours into the drive, just about when Dean had started to get really worried about Cas not waking up yet, the other man began to stir.

“Dean?” He said, in a voice even raspier than normal, as he gazed up at Dean in amazement.

“Cas,” Dean choked out, running his hand through the angel’s hair, brushing it from his forehead. “Is it really you?”

“Yes,” Cas replied, a pained expression on his face. “But I–”

“Don’t talk,” Dean said, concern lacing his voice. “It looks like you mighta been injured. We’ll be back at the bunker soon enough and Sam’ll have a look at you.”

Cas looked like he wanted to argue but did as Dean asked and stayed quiet.

When they got back to the bunker, Dean helped Cas to his room and left Sam to do the normal tests, and take a look over him with some of Rowena’s spells. Dean waited in the corridor outside, pacing to start with but after a while he sank to the floor, leaning his head back against the wall.

Cas was alive. He couldn't quite believe this was happening, he had been so sure that this time the angel had been gone for good, but somehow he had managed to pull off one last miracle.

Somehow, he had managed to save Dean one last time.

 ~

 Sam exited Cas’ room about thirty minutes later, a worried look on his face.

“Well?” Dean asked impatiently, jumping up from where he had been sitting on the floor.

“It’s definitely Cas,” Sam told him. “And he’s doing okay... but I think you’d better go talk to him, Dean.”

This did absolutely nothing to ease the knots in Dean’s stomach but he approached the door nonetheless, eager to see for himself that Cas was okay.

When he entered Cas’ room he found the other man sitting up in bed, a white t-shirt on his upper half and blankets pooled around his waist. He looked different without his usual attire, more approachable - more human. There was a small mark on his neck, where the dried blood Dean had seen earlier had clearly been cleaned away from, and a cut on his arm where, Dean assumed, Sam had done the silver test.

“Dean,” Cas said, and he sounded much better than he had when he had last spoken on the drive back to the bunker.

“Cas,” Dean answered shakily, trying to control the mix of emotions that had been building in him ever since he saw Cas’ body lying in that barn. Sam had told Dean he needed to talk to Cas but Cas didn’t seem to be offering up any information as to what they needed to talk about, so Dean took the initiative and asked, “How did you escape?”

Cas’ eyes flitted down to stare at his hands and Dean thought he looked almost ashamed…? He said nothing for several minutes, but Dean waited uncharacteristically patiently.

“Dean,” Cas began eventually. “I know I’ve not been of much use to you recently, since I lost most of my powers–”

“That’s not true, Cas,” Dean immediately interrupted, suddenly feeling sick with guilt about how he had treated Cas over the last few years.

Cas gave him a look and continued. “So it may upset you to know… that I am now human,” Dean looked at Cas, wide-eyed and confused, so Cas elaborated. “The Empty is where angels go when they die,” he explained slowly. “Apart from I wasn’t dead, I had just been taken by The Empty. It wanted to put me into an endless sleep, same as with my deceased brothers and sisters – what I had experienced the last time I died, before Jack woke me up... But Billie’s scythe was there and I thought - it was stupid really – I thought that, as I was technically still alive, if I was no longer an angel The Empty wouldn’t want me… So–”  

“You cut out your grace?” Dean finished, his mouth agape in abject horror as his eyes fixed on the small cut on Cas' neck and he finally put two and two together.

“And The Empty ejected me,” Cas nodded. Dean's heart pounded in his chest as panic and guilt spread through him, he had caused this. “I am sorry, Dean; I didn’t think it through. I was just trying to get back to you all – to help – but now I realise what little help I’ll be. Even now Chuck's gone - even just as a hunter - if I wasn’t of use to you with my significantly reduced powers, what good will I be to you as a human?”

“Is that what you think?” Dean asked fiercely, swallowing down bile as he thought about all the things he had said to Cas to make him feel this way. “Cas, I don’t care. I don’t care whether you have your powers or not. I just care about you. These last few days, I’ve been a mess. I thought you were gone for good and I couldn't cope. Seriously, man, I’m just so, so glad you’re back,” Dean was close to tears at this point so he trailed off, not wanting to start blubbering in front of Cas like he had been in front of Sam the past few days. Cas shot Dean a small smile as Dean gestured awkwardly towards the door, “I’m jus’ gonna… leave you to get some rest for now,” Dean was sure that Cas would need some, and he was hoping that now Cas was back he would finally be able to get some peace himself.

“Thank you, Dean,” Cas croaked, as he shut the door gently, and Dean got the impression he was being thanked for more than just leaving Cas to sleep.

 ~

 For days, Dean had been acting weirdly around Castiel; unable to find the courage to mention the words spoken before The Empty had claimed him, waiting for the other man to bring it up first, but knowing he would not. Why would he, when he believed his feelings to be unrequited?

Three days after Cas had returned to the bunker, Sam pulled Dean aside and told him he was finally going to visit Eileen.

“You need to sort this out while I’m gone,” his brother told him quietly, gesturing to where Cas sat across the room, reading one of Rowena’s old books on astral projection.

“Sort what out?” Dean replied, trying to act innocent.

“Don’t pull that shit with me, Dean,” Sam growled, eyes flicking briefly back to Cas to check the other man hadn’t heard him. “I saw how you were after Cas died,” Sam muttered, and Dean felt a jolt of pain go through his heart at Sam’s words – even though Cas was back, it still hurt Dean to think about the time they had spent apart. Sam raised an eyebrow at him, clearly noticing the change in Dean’s demeanour. “There you go,” he said matter-of-factly. “I saw how you reacted to him being gone, and the words he said to you before. Don’t pretend like they weren’t said, just because you’re scared,” Dean opened his mouth to protest but Sam just kept talking. “I know you’re scared, Dean, don’t try to deny it. I know it’s hard to admit what you’re feeling, but you have to know that I will always support you? That I always have?” Dean’s eyes widened at this and Sam’s features softened slightly. “You’re not as subtle as you think, Dean. I’ve known for a while.”

Dean wasn’t sure if Sam was talking about Cas specifically, or if he meant on a wider scale, but he was too overwhelmed to say anything in reply. Overwhelmed with love for his baby brother, overwhelmed that someone he cared about so much accepted him for who he truly was.

“Dean,” Sam continued, placing a hand on Dean’s shoulder comfortingly. “You’re my brother, you raised me. I will always look up to you, and love you for who you are. I just want you to be able to accept this part of yourself, because it has never changed how I view you.  None of our friends – our family – will see you any differently for who you love, surely you know that? Me, Jodie, Donna, Eileen – we all just want you to be happy. So please, Dean, just sort this out. I know it’s hard for you, but just let yourself be happy. Let Cas be happy.”

Dean didn’t know what to say, but he knew Sam was right – and deep down he had known Sam would support him, of course he would – but that didn’t make it any less scary. Teary-eyed, he looked at Sam and nodded.

“Thank you, Sammy,” he said shakily as his brother pulled him into a hug. “I’ll do it, I’ll make this right.”

Sam beamed at him as he pulled away.

“I’ll see you day after tomorrow,” he told Dean quietly, before raising his voice to shout a goodbye to Cas.

Cas looked up from his book and waved as Sam exited the bunker, a bright smile on the former angel’s face, and Dean’s heart skipped a beat.

He knew he wanted to see that smile every day for the rest of his life, and he knew how to make that happen.

He just had to be brave.

Let Cas be happy, he told himself.

 ~

 “Cas,” Dean said, sitting down at the table, opposite the man. “I think we need to talk.”

Cas looked up from his book, his eyes wide. “If this is about what I said before I, uh, left–” he began but Dean interrupted him.

“It is,” he stated, placing his hands on his knees under the table, so Cas wouldn't be able to see how much they were shaking. “I need to know – did you mean it? Did you mean it how I think you meant it?”

“You still doubt you deserve love?” Cas questioned in reply, placing his book down on the table and leaning forward in his seat.

“Don’t dodge my question with all your cryptic shit,” Dean snapped, but there was no real heat behind it. “Just tell me if you meant what I thought you meant.”

“You know I did,” he said seriously, looking Dean right in the eye.

“Okay,” Dean said with a deep breath. “I just didn’t know if we were on the same page, y’know, with you being an angel. I didn’t know if it meant something different to you.”

“I’m not an angel anymore, Dean. And I meant it- I still mean it. I love you.”

It was no less overwhelming the second time Cas said it. Dean felt his heartbeat speed up and his palms grow sweaty – was he really going to do this? After years of shame and guilt and fear, was he finally going to let himself be free? Let himself be happy?

Dean slowly stood and made his way around the table so he was standing next to where Castiel sat. Cas looked up at him, confusion gracing his beautiful features before he stood too. It felt as though his bright eyes were boring into Dean's very soul.

Cas was so close, his face just inches away from Dean’s. They had stood this close many times before during the ten years they had known each other, but never before with the knowledge that Dean held now. His eyes flicked down to Cas’ lips and back up again, all it would take would be leaning in just slightly…

“Dean,” Cas murmured, and he was so close Dean could feel Cas' breath against his lips.

“Cas,” Dean breathed out, reaching up to cup the other man’s cheek, “I’ve felt this way for so long, Cas, but I was just so used to hiding it. I was so full of shame - of fear. I buried this feeling so deep that when you told me you loved me I just– I didn’t know how to react. But now I know, Cas. I just want the chance to make you happy," Dean took a deep breath, preparing himself to admit something he had spent years living in fear of. "I hope you can forgive me for everything I've said, everything I've done in the past to make you feel unappreciated. There's a lot I wish I could take back - a lot I should have said instead - but I wanna try my best to make it up to you. I'm sorry I didn't have the courage to say this sooner, Cas... But I love you,” Cas’ eyes widened, as though standing there, mere inches away from Dean, with Dean’s hand pressed to his cheek, he had still not expected to hear him utter those words. “I’m sorry I made you think that my love – that I – was something you couldn’t have, but I want you to know, Cas, I’m yours. If you still want me, I’m yours. Always have been.”

“Dean,” Cas whispered, his hand coming up to cup the back of Dean’s neck gently, tears of happiness glistening in his eyes. “I’ve never wanted anything more in my life.”

And with that, at last, Cas pressed his lips to Dean’s, and Dean didn’t feel scared any more.

He was finally happy.

Finally free.

 ~

 From the place where he stood, invisible, in the corner of the room, Jack smiled. He had promised not to meddle in human affairs, and he had kept his word, but he had needed to see this through to the end. Just to make sure that these two people he cared about so much got the happiness they deserved. Now that Cas was human, he and Dean would be able to grow old together, and when they died both their souls would be able to ascend to Jack’s new Heaven, where they could all be together as a family, once again.

***

(A/N Thanks so much for reading, this was my first Spn fic in like five years so I really hope you enjoyed and thought they were in character enough. I know Dean was insanely angsty but I just hated how unbothered he seemed to be by Cas' death. And I don't know if logically Death's scythe should have killed Cas even though he was already in The Empty but I don't really care tbh, my fic makes more sense than those last couple of episodes the CW tried to feed us...)

[oh-theres-a-woman]

Flowers in a Peaked Cap; Part One

A/N: Heres to attempt two at writing this author’s note… Let’s just say, I haven’t perfected the art of saving drafts. Note to self to actually find out how to make the draft before losing three solid paragraphs of rambling about the story… Sophie Points; Nil. Laptop/Internet Points; One. Welp, honestly internet and laptop have won a hell of a lot more than that. Just don’t remember how many times I’ve lost work because of not quite understanding how to post on here…. Safe to say I’m still a noob. 

Any hoot! Enough rambling about that stuff. 

After posting the first piece to this story; in the very very early hours of this morning. I couldn’t help but feel the massive urge to continue and work on the more of Tillie’s little adventure. It made me want to think about her as a person outside the relatives that we already know. What this girl’s goals are and ambitions. Unlike the rest of her family, I think she has a relatable amount of vulnerability and anxieties that are more from society’s working in the 1920s compared to her brothers; Arthur, Thomas and John that all suffer war-related mental illness and scars.   

Actively she’s a romantic escapist that wants to make her brothers and aunt proud. Making a name for herself in the means of writing and exploring the tales that are brewed from the memories of old days. 

In the progression of this story, I want to be able to explore the growth in Tillie as a young woman. The stepping out of her brothers’ shadows and coming into her own. Growing into a more confident young woman that could be from meeting new people like in this chapter and moving away from her fears. 

I do see romance in this story, something like and full of all the trend first experience one faces at one stage or another. In terms of smut, I’d think it’s lighter and would be something that is worked towards. Tillie to me doesn’t seem rather lust-driven. So, it’ll happen if it does, and if not; its simply because Tillie Shelby isn’t interested in that sort of thing. 

Important note; I’ll be working on organising the Taglist a little more throughout my next few posts. Please notify me if you’re interested in anything specifically and want tags there or if you mind just being on the general tag list and included in every story I post. Thank you!!!  

Requested By; @csigeoblue​

Parts; [ Prologue ] 

Taglist; @zodiyack​, @itsfrancisneptun​, @amys-small-world​, @fandom-fucking-shit​, @hesagod-notyet​, @hinagiku0​, @dylanlover24​, @amirahiddleston​, @a-dorky-book-keeper​, @theamuz​, @csigeoblue​, @smallheathgangsters​, @beautycinders 

Word Count; 1400

Watery Lane wasn’t the play that supported the wild fantasy’s of Tillie Shelby, but the little bookshop that was filled with many hopefuls or lads that were born a little more well off collectively grouped together. Reading the stories they wrote. This gathering was apparently one that caught the attention of the paper since the known publishers and well-off lads from another book club around England had found themselves doing a sort of travel for their source material. 

Since the profile of this club of prolific writers had taken interest in the area of Small Heath and its inhabitants. Inviting upstart writers or aspiring tellers to come and meet them. So, onward the youngest Shelby strolled until she pulled open the door of the quaint little bookshop. The signal of her arrival was the sound of her kitten heels and the ringing of the bell on the door. Doe-like blue eyes that were like the crystal-clarity of the purest of water found themselves settling on a group of well-dressed gentlemen.  Her eyes flicker between some faces she knew of Small Heath, most of them being the arseholes she went to school with and thought themselves privy to a better life. 

It wasn’t that Tillie didn’t believe they weren’t welcome to it. Mostly, it was the way they treated people in order to get there the young woman didn’t quite agree with. She was rather foolish coming to her though since her brother’s had a very vision about how the Shelby family should be seen. Their measures to getting things done with it were also less than admirable. Perhaps, it was the fact that Billy Bronson, James Fitz and Joe Gilbert made hers and Finn’s school life a living hell one way or another. But, it also made it seem extremely unfair to talk to their older brothers about what happened. Since most knew better than to fuck with the kin of the Peaky Blinders. 

Plooms of cigarette smoke clouded in the air, filling the bookstore with a spiced herbal infusion and rippled tailored sticks of tobacco. Moving her gaze from the lads she knew; to the new arrivals. The youngest of the Shelby mob offered a little smile. “Is there room for one more?” Tillie finally spoke up, pulling her book that contained the novel she had poured hours and hours over. Smiling hopefully. Arms hugging the expensive leather made book that her brothers banded together in the hopes for a lovely birthday present in the days before the war. 

Hoping that she’d fill in with various things she enjoyed to draw, but instead, Tillie hadn’t touched it until she was old enough to respect things. Asking Aunt Pol to help her keep in a safe place until then. Scraps of paper were best for sketches in any case. 

Eyes ever hopeful looked at the posher sort, some seemed wary until a certain collared lad smiled and offered a little nod then the place he’d been sitting. Away from the boys that seemed to make life a little more bothersome. “Thank you,” she whispered, settling down in the seat. Resting the book down on her lap before looking to the other lads who straightened their composure.

“We were all about to introduce ourselves since we’ve never travelled outside of London for such a meeting before. Yet, it seemed like a brilliant idea when bought up. Birmingham seemed like the best place, so raw and thrilling. Small Heath alone.” Spoke finally a lad in a handsome waist-coat, the colouring of coal, stiff collar and matching suit made her think of it being something her brother; Tom would wear. Only on the best occasions, or when he was dressing-to-impress. Unlike Thomas, this lad had handsome hazel eyes, the slightest tan to his skin like he enjoyed the frolicking on the beach. His name was Walter, but everyone called him, Walt. 

“Even the presence of criminal activity and organisations like the Peaky Blinders, it does make the area a prize for writing. Wouldn’t you agree, lads,” spoke up for eccentric Norman, who took delight in the thing that only made Tillie smile in a measure of great awkwardness. The name seemed to follow her everywhere she went, and there was a measure of awkwardness for that.  “Sorry, miss, I didn’t quite mean to be so rude, it’s just you don’t seem the sort to know much on that end, too kind and pretty, huh?” Norm covered himself for any form of rudeness that could have been interpreted. 

Only causing a polite little lowering of her head, as her hands wrapped anxiously around her book’s spine. Before relaxing at the conversation drifting off elsewhere. Sobering to the notion that the following cough from Joe Gilbert had goosebumps appearing on her arms. Causing a vast amount of discomfort in the young woman. Tillie traded glances with the nicer of the Londoner’s; Robert. Whom quickly coughed to get things back on track. 

“In any case, back to the introductions. We shouldn’t dwell too long on the story topics if we’ve lacked the proper course of introduction. Shall I start?” Robert spoke up, settled against set up for the purpose of meetings. “My name is Robert Augustine, myself and these other gentlemen,” he said, gesturing to the others in the group of London lads. 

“Are from a collective of young men that wish to write and publish arts. Never before have we had a lady join us, but surely in this modern world we’d be able to welcome the bright minds of femininity amongst us. After all, lady authors are blooming into the publishing world more and more with each generation.” His words seemed to still the anxiousness within her soul at the agreement of his other companions. Looking forward to seeing a hand extended to her, Robert allowed her to stand. The mix of coarseness and softness met between the two palms meet. 

Holding her book, Tillie looked down smiling a little at her feet. Hugging her book to her chest, like it was the most precious thing to her. That was… Because it truly was the thing that held so much value to her heart. Her right hand still gently in the hold of the Londoner, cheeks lightly warming. “I’m Tillie Shelby, and I like to write about my brothers, their stories before the war. When we were kids,” she lit up sweetly talking of her brothers. Her hand and Robert’s naturally finding it parting, before he settled in his spot by the desk. Arms folding at his chest with a little smile. 

“Would you be willing to share any of those stories?” Robert asked in a light voice. Tillie could only think of one response. 

“Would I ever,” she beamed with a presence that seemed to warm the room and the quiet little shop around them. Settling down into her seat once more, she didn’t think about when the others were introducing themselves. Instead, she found herself lost within stories. The more whimsical tales of lads that laughed and partied. Or the ones that filled with a warmth that made her think of the family that suppressed or lost who they were before the war. Among them, none had known those woes and horrors. 

They’d seen things happen on the outside. Felt the absence of a brother, father, uncle or grandfather that either died or lost what kept to their memory that their younger-selves recalled. Tillie was young then. Merely a baby in some regard. But she couldn’t ever forget the days of laughter, wherein night terrors; her heroes would just come up and curl into the undersized cot she called a bed. Soothing their fingers along with the softness of infant or child hairs–that had yet to understand dryness or damage. 

When business didn’t entirely rule the Shelby family but happened in the background. Those were her tales. The tales of rawness and loss from a different scene. Where her brothers; the men who took over the role of an absent father, became; fathers, uncles, older brothers and best friends. And… Pol became the only mother she ever knew and remembered. Her voice spoke of the volumes to family values and how terrible things broke people. Yet, she never uttered their names aloud. 

Only recording them within her mind when she read the tales that meant something to one of her brothers. Art. Tom. John.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Count Dracula

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

So, in all my time doing Psycho Analysis, there have been a few villainous characters that, while extremely obvious, have such large and daunting scopes that it seems a bit scary to think I could accurately analyze them. Characters like Disney’s Pete or Bowser come to mind. Both are obvious 11s, but where to even begin with them? And that is a similar problem I faced with the villain who is arguably the single most important foe to ever grace fiction: Count Dracula.

How on Earth is one supposed to talk about a character who has spanned so much media and has remained an enduring fixture of pop culture for over a century? The guy has been in movies, comics, books, video games, plays, cartoons, musicals, songs… and he hasn’t even been a villain in all of them! How does one talk about such a villain with such a broad, all-encompassing scope?

The obvious answer is, of course, to talk about him in a broad sense and how he has affected culture, of course! This one’s going to be a little different than usual since I’m focusing more on the concept of Dracula than one single version, so there’s a lot of Dracula’s to go over here:

Performance: Throughout the years, Dracula has had many actors take a shot at him, though I think the finest takes are courtesy of Bela Lugosi and Christopher Lee. The former is basically what cemented Dracula as a sexy, Gothic horror icon, changing the far less attractive man from the book into a seductive monster that would color numerous adaptations after. Lee’s take brings the sexy, but is also far more violent and monstrous, mostly because Hammer horror films were all about that bright red blood, so gotta have someone spill it all!

If you’re looking for more flamboyant, hammy Draculas, Richard Roxbourg of Van Helsing and Duncan Regehr of The Monster Squad have you covered, playing Dracula at his most deliciously, monstrously evil. However, the hammiest (and thus most amazing) Dracula was Michael Guinn’s take in Symphony of the Night, with the entire opening exchange between him and Richter Belmont being a testament to the joys of chewing the scenery.

More comedic takes on Dracula have popped up over the years, with the most notable ones being Adam Sandler’s lovable, fatherly take on the character in the Hotel Transylvania films and Phil LaMarr’s performance on Billy and Mandy, where he plays a ridiculous, possibly senile version of Dracula who is abrasive and hilarious in equal measure.

Basically, when it comes to Dracula, you can easily find any sort of performance to suit your needs and give you what you’re looking for.

Best Scene: Over the years, Dracula has had a great many fantastic moments under his belt, so many fantastic scenes and boss battles… but for my money, the single greatest moment Dracula has ever been in is the opening battle of Symphony of the Night. Just watch this cheesy melodrama unfold and try and disagree with me:

Though, of course, his death in the animated series sure is a contender:

Best Quote: From the above scene, we have “What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets!” among moany other meme-worthy bits of dialogue from Dracula. 

On the subject of Castlevania, from the TV show we have Dracula at his most tragic and pitiable, especially when he delivers these fantastically tragic lines like “ It's your room... My boy... I'm- I'm killing my boy... Lisa... I'm killing our boy. We painted this room. We... made these toys. It's our boy, Lisa... your greatest gift to me... and I'm killing him. I must already be dead.” and “Your greatest gift to me... and I'm killing him." as he does battle with his son, Alucard.

Then of course, we have the legendary moment from The Monster Squad where Dracula drops any pretense and starts strangling a little girl, screaming in her face "Give me the amulet, you bitch!" It’s so deliciously, horrendously evil!

Final Thoughts & Score: It’s very strange to think of how much all of fiction owes Dracula. The original book invented a lot of traits (the lack of reflection being one) and popularized others (such as shapeshifting and weakness to garlic), but at the same time also predates a lot of things modern vampire fiction takes for granted. The Dracula of the book has no weakness to sunlight and gets younger as he drinks blood, starting as an old man; in fact, Dracula in the book is entirely lacking in the Gothic sex appeal that almost every adaptation of the character after would give him. He was also not very seductive, instead outright attacking women if he wasn’t hypnotizing them. Hell, he wasn’t even explicitly Vlad the Impaler in the books!

More than any other villain I’ve covered so far, Dracula is truly deserving of an 11/10. Even Count Orlok owes him a debt, seeing as Nosferatu was just a blatant ripoff. Hell, aside from villains from old mythology, I don’t think any villain can lay claim to the sort of scope Dracula has, having forever altered vampire fiction even as certain elements of him become lost in translation.

But what of some of his other incarnations over the years? How do they fare in terms of score? Well, I’m certainly not going to be incredibly thorough and list every Dracula ever, but here are a few I’ve encountered:

Obviously it’s unfair to give the Bela Lugosi incarnation anything less than an 11/10, mainly because this is the Dracula who pretty much inspired most other interpretations of Dracula after him. He’s suave, Gothic, attractive in that dark and mysterious way… it’s no wonder Lugosi’s Dracula became such an iconic fixture of cinema. Then we have the other classic Dracula, Christopher Lee’s take. I think he’s only a 10/10 because I feel like Lee’s tenure is a bit more overlooked and Lugosi tends to supplant him in terms of iconic status.

Castlevania as a franchise is specifically built qround defeating Dracula as the heroic Belmont clan or some adjacent vampire hunter. So you’d better hope that the big bad and master of the magical castle the game takes place in is impressive, right? Well he most certainly is; while he’s not completely fleshed out in every appearance he has some, like his iconic portrayal in Symphony of the Night, really help sell the idea this incarnation of Dracula is a rather tragic villain, though at other times in the series he seems to revel in being a monster far more than that interpretation would allow. Notably, the Castlevania show went with the more tragic approach to great effect, with Graham McTavish delivering a fantastic performance that swings from being genuinely terrifying to hauntingly emotional (just watch the scene where he breaks down upon fighting Alucard and realizing he’s killing his own son). Both game (in a broad sense) and show Dracula get a 10/10, for different reasons.

Duncan Regehr portrayed the Dracula in The Monster Squad, and it is quite obvious he’s having a hell of a time. He’s just wonderfully hammy, and he might be one of the most evil Draculas ever seeing how he called a little girl a bitch and tried to slaughter children with dynamite. This one’s a 9/10 for sure. I honestly think he’s the best take on the character, but his movie is sadly too obscure to really give him that push to being a truly iconic portrayal. He just captures the menace and charisma of Dracula so well, it’s a shame more people don’t know about him.

Van Helsing had a Dracula, played to hammy perfection by Richard Roxburgh. Say what you will about the rest of the film, but any Dracula movie that features evil bat monster Dracula fighting fallen angel werewolf Hugh Jackman in a battle to the death over Frankenstein’s atomic heart is worth at least an 8/10. For a more minor role, we have the Dracula who appeared in the blaxploitation classic Blacula. While he only appears for a bit at the start, long enough to curse an African prince with vampirism and dub him “Blacula,” this Dracula firmly cements himself as one of the most evil Draculas ever, gleefully participating in the slave trade. I believe that’s another 8/10 right there. On a related note, Blacula serves as a chief inspiration to the Billy and Mandy incarnation of Dracula, who is a cranky old black man with a big mustache and lots of sass (in fact, he’s accidentally closer to the original book’s depiction than most other Draculas). Sadly, as a more neutral chaotic comedic figure, I can’t give him a rating, but boy is he a riot.

Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf features a more comedic and zany Dracula, one who participates in some good-old-fashioned Wacky Races cheating in an attempt to keep Shaggy as a werewolf forever. He’s mostly amusing for a oneshot villain, so I’d say 7/10 is fair. Speaking of oneshot villains, Dracula also showed up in an animated straight to video movie for The Batman, where he did things such as turn Joker into a vampire and get killed by Batman. He’s probably a 7/10 as well.

And then there are all the heroic takes on Dracula, such as the version from Dracula Untold or the “overbearing but endearing father” take on the character from the Hotel Transylvania movies (though that rap Adam Sandler does at the end of the first movie is pretty heinous).

And this is not an extensive list by any means. There are so many Draculas I haven’t watched yet, so many different takes I haven’t read the adventures of. And that, I think, is what makes Dracula such a great villain. He is a character who any writer can bend and shape to fit a plot, a villain who can serve almost any purpose and who can fit in almost any fantasy story imaginable. Dracula is incredibly versatile, and whenever he shows up in a work, things almost always get better for a bit. And keep in mind, this is a character who has been around since the year 1897, and yet he is still a household name that even people who have never read the books or seen the movies can accurately describe and recognize.

Is Count Dracula the greatest villain in all of human history? It’s debatable for sure, but I don’t think there’s any denying he’s up there considering his scope and influence and how he helped mold modern vampire fiction into what it is today. If nothing else, Dracula is still wildly influential.

[deeeelightfuldee]

Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? ooooof. I don’t think i’d buy that. I hardly think people who DO show they have feelings for me are being truthful, so I doubt that.

Do you play video games? haven’t in some time, but I want to get back into it a little.

Do you spend a lot of time with family? oh heck yeah. I have a really great family.

Is your house more than two stories tall? nah, it’s the two stories with a basement.

Have you ever hit your significant other? Has he/she ever hit you? I will never raise my hands to another human being. I once dated someone who was a veteran and had severe ptsd. we were napping one time and he got aggressive. that wasn’t HIM though. 

What makes you an attractive person? (Talk about your personality too!) physically, I suppose I have nice eyes and a decent smile. personality wise, I am warm, friendly, loving, supportive, sometimes funny, very loyal.

What color is your hairbrush/comb? depends which one I use. I have a pink one right now. 

What snacks do you have available in your household atm? I honestly haven’t got a clue. I haven’t been let out of my room in 2 weeks.

Has anyone recently told you that they like you, or find you attractive? yes. it’s weird.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? DEF not. he has been asking me out since we worked together maybeeeee.. 8-9 years ago? 

Do you care about anyone that doesn’t care about you? yes! I am trying to learn how to undo that. it’s not that I don’t want to care about him, but I know and can soooooooo clearly see that he doesn’t care anymore, and it is extremely emotionally draining to watch.

Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female? I wanna say female but idk

Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? scott

When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate? couple days ago.

Do you play any games on Facebook? Nope.

What would you like to get a degree in? I have two degrees -- one in psych and one in SLP. 

Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? ahahahaha yes. almost always wide awake from 3-6

Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game? typically more in the movie/show or book mood.

Do you usually get popcorn or soda at the movie theater? Both. nothing like that buttery, salty goodness that obvs requires an enormous drink

What genre of films do you like the best? either make me EXTREMELY sad, or romantic.

How many bank accounts do you have? 2

Have you ever had the flu? Yeah.

What is your goal for the next few months? i have several. the only one that can/will be public right now, is to get my lungs back to functioning as they were.

Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? How did it affect your life? yes. I have very bad breathing during sleep. I have had 11 sleep studies done, because my breathing will just stop randomly, which luckily my brain wakes me. it doesn’t really affect my like severely.. I function normally. but shoooooot, if I got normal levels of sleep i’d be a force to be reckoned with.

Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience. Yes. It was AWFUL. vomiting for 2 days straight. it was so gross.

Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for the opposite sex. smart and romantic.

Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it? hmm. I think there have been times where i’ve let people have more access to me than they should have had. or there have definitely been times I’ve been used in school groups. But honestly, I tend to be protective of myself. I stop when I feel enough is enough. 

You can go back in time & change something in your mom’s past - what is it? I would want either Bill to not die, or for her to be spoiled incessantly by someone else.

Do you know anybody who is around the exact same size as you? Who? psh. no. my friends are all tiny which is just not fun.

Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you? Yeah. i found it so fun.

Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see? ahahahaha no. 

Which is worse: dusting or mopping? mopping. i hate doing the floors.

Did you pull a senior prank? Not really advised when a homeschooler. 

Did you graduate? Yes. that was a rough, rough day.

Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious relationship? Nope

What was the last song you listened to? i think it was Happier than Ever by billie eilish. the lyrics are ... woof. 

Are you one of those lucky people with 20/20 vision? 20/12 -- the last time I had insurance anyway.

Is fashion one of your interests? honestly, if I had money, it would be. but it isnt right now.

Do you think you’ll eventually find that special someone? It’s getting harder and harder to believe that will be the case. I knowwwww I need to start dating, but every time I go to open up an app, I hesitate and chicken out. I just was so happy before.. its hard to think I could be able to offer anything to anyone right now.

Do you care what people think? veryyyyyy few people. I care about the thoughts of those I genuinely love and respect. However, I still ensure I’m protecting myself regardless.

Is acting something you enjoy? No. 

What was the last thing you broke/sprained? I have a bum knee, so I sprain that from time to time. I last broke a finger.

Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/girlfriend? Because of yours? ahahahaha yes. but years ago. never because of mine.

Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language? No. I don’t cuss. 

Whose house, other than yours and your families’, are you most comfortable at? probably either nathan’s or em’s.

Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you? alix’s family used to yell at me a lot for being fat. that used to mess me up. 

Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? soccer. no, i found the endless running to be unnecessary. 

Did you ever watch the show Full House? yup

Is there a celebrity you are just DETERMINED to marry? no, thats so out-of-touch with reality

Have you ever burned someone’s picture? yes, i have.

What’s the longest hike you’ve ever been on? i think it was 8 hours. I hate hate hate hikes. But, thats because I have really weak lungs, so my doctor says it’s like lighting them on fire.

Would you ever get a lip tattoo? No.

Who is the first person of the opposite sex that pops into your head? kile

Do your parents smoke cigarettes? my mom hasn’t since a teenager. I think my dad does still. though, i dunno for certain.

What does one of your T-shirts have written on it? uhhhh, PTK honors society

Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. Any reptile or insect. <<<< same

Would you prefer your partner smaller or taller? Taller. 

Do you enjoy going through old pictures? Yes. very much so.

Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? No, i respect people who are truthful saying they either try not to judge, or that they do judge despite their desire to stop.

What did you love the most about the town you grew up in? sooooooo much. it’s small town-y, quiet, safe, lots of trees, family close by.

What’s a movie you cried the hardest during? ps i love you will always shatter my heart.

What’s your favorite restaurant? buona or ashford

Is there a dessert you don’t like? im not wild about pastries.

What’s a book that you read because everyone else was reading it? hmmm maybe that one mrs. pettigrews home for peculiar children.

Underwater or outer space? i’m fascinated by both. typically more interested in the water.

Dogs or cats? both. all of them.

Kittens or puppies? kittens.

Bird watching or whale watching? whales!!!!!!!!

What was your best subject in school? in HS probably history. or science. in college, psych or neuro.

What was your worst subject in school? Math. always freakin’ math.

What is one thing you wish you knew in high school? Uhhh. hm. i don’t think anything. I liked my experience.

Who is your fashion icon? nada.

Diamonds or pearls? Both are nice. I love pearl stud earrings and I really want a simple, one pearl necklace. I am kinda ruined for diamonds for some time. My favorite rings and necklace were diamonds from kile and I just cant bring myself to wear those anymore.

What color dress did you wear to prom? pink

Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? oh sure. I am envious of those with bangin’ bods. I’m envious of those who have great finances. I am envious of those who live life married to their love. I’m envious of people who see kile regularly. But there are difficulties that come with any of those situations.

Honestly, when was the last time you REALLY cried your heart out? not long ago. the whole crushing reality of losing kile just destroyed me. I’m OK now.

Do you need to return anyone’s phone call? ahahahahah. I just reject all calls.

Who are you closest to? My mom and nathan rn.

Have you ever had a bad concert experience? no

Are you currently sad about anything? several things have recently been really saddening, but I’m ok. Ill get thru it.

Have you had any form of exercise today? Its going to be some time before I’m cleared for that. I almost faint from taking a shower and I have to be on oxygen after doing the one flight of stairs. 

Can you handle blood? doesn’t bother me at all.

Has any place hired you underage for a job? yes. I mean technically, I was legal to work in that I was 17, but the company didn’t want to hire younger than 18.

Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? not like in public, but at a house or gun range, yes.

Are you currently searching for a job? soon.

Does eating breakfast make you sick? i’m never ever ever hungry for it. I know i should, but its the worst. I don’t even like breakfast foods.