#hoo boy i'm nervous about posting that

[buck-yyyy]

alright, i've got a really hot take and not everyone is going to agree with me on it (actually i have a sinking feeling that not many people are going to), but that's perfectly okay- just please hear me out.

someone liking billy hargrove as a character does not mean that they're racist, homophobic, or a bad person in any way.

alright, let me explain.

first and foremost, a disclaimer:

BILLY WAS RACIST. THIS IS A REOCCURRING MOTIF IN SEASON TWO. TO IGNORE THAT IS TO DIMINISH WHAT LUCAS WENT THROUGH AT BILLY'S HANDS.

BILLY CONTINUED THE CYCLE OF ABUSE TOWARDS MAX. THIS IS A REOCCURRING THEME IN SEASONS TWO AND ESPECIALLY FOUR. TO IGNORE THAT IS TO DIMINISH THE TRAUMA MAX EXPERIENCED FROM HIM.

now, here are my thoughts.

i think that a lot of us have had rather... unpleasant, lets say, interactions with billy stans, and that's led us to be very against anyone appreciating his character.

a big problem in this fandom is the amount of people who excuse racism, homophobia, sexism, etc etc simply because the actor playing the character who said it is attractive- and that is definitely a big problem with steve fans, which is a whole other post in of itself, but it's an even BIGGER issue with billy fans.

we've all seen someone who uses the billy's father's abuse to say that nothing he did was bad and that he was just in pain- i'm not saying that that's okay.

but i think that we tend to come down too hard on the people who appreciate billy's place in the story simply because of his backstory.

there are a lot of people out there, most notably abuse survivors, who see themselves in the fact that billy's response to trauma is to lash out with anger, and there are a lot of us out there who are quick to invalidate those people by saying 'what's wrong with you, why do you sympathize with a racist wtf'- which i don't think is fair.

billy is an incredibly nuanced character, and we don't get to see very much of him. we see very little of who he was back in california, and when he has the most screen time, he's literally possessed- leading to us only being able to deduce a couple main character traits.

because of that, it's easy to reduce his character to simply his racism, which, again, should not be ignored.

but as a community, we often look down at the people who do what we do with byler that decide to look deeper into billy's character rather than simply leaving him flat, 2-D, and unexplored.

i don't think that's fair.

it's an incredibly fine line between enjoying analyzing his character and/or seeing yourself in his trauma responses versus glorifying his character and excusing his bigotry- however, plenty of people are doing perfectly fine with that line and still get lumped in with the apologists.

let's not be the people policing other people's interests, shall we?

tldr; billy apologists leave, billy appreciators you keep doing what you're doing and i'm sorry that you're getting harassed for finding representation or expressing interest in a complex character.

[valiant-portabella-pirkko]

listening to my Tideturners playlist was a mistake because I am having SO many feelings about the Sidewinder again.

she's not just any AU of Mai Trin; she's a version who's endured the absolute worst case scenario and lives every day in fear of losing everything all over again. but her story flips the entire narrative of Guild Wars 2 on its head; it's all a matter of perspective, and hers comes from an entirely different angle than we're used to.

what is a monster? as they say, to a bird, a cat is a monster.

the Sidewinder's monster is the Commander.

the first Commander she ever met was a tyrant who set the world on fire just to watch it burn. nothing could stop his rampage until there was nothing left to destroy. he made Scarlet Briar's war look like a playground scuffle; in fact, he did it by killing her and seizing her army to do it with. the Sidewinder doesn't have to wonder what a rogue Commander is capable of at their worst. she KNOWS.

and she also knows that if even a single one knew about her outpost, about her, about her people, and decided they were a threat to get rid of, there's absolutely nothing she could do to stop them. the most she could hope to do is be enough of a speed bump that the rest of the Turnabout can escape and make her sacrifice worthwhile.

she's spent decades building up a new world, a new society, and a new identity-- and in a split second a single person could bring it all crashing down. that absolutely terrifies her. it's all so fragile.

a major part of the Sidewinder's personal arc has to do with overcoming that dread to find common ground. because, truth-be-told, much as she'd insist otherwise? she's not so different from the Commander herself. she's fought long and hard to become someone worthy of the trust and respect that so many refugees from so many, many different worlds have placed on her. it's not enough to have it, she wants to DESERVE it. and even if she'd claim she's not there yet, most would agree she's succeeded. she's the beating heart of the Turnabout; none of it would exist without her. she's given all of them the hope that the heroes of their own worlds couldn't.

Mai Trin never wanted to be a leader or a hero or a politician. but as the Sidewinder, she's become all three out of necessity. she had no other choice. no one else was left alive to do it in her place.

so she puts on her mask, and she steps onto the stage, and she talks big, but deep down she knows that if the worst case scenario came back, there was nothing she could do to protect them, not on her own. the only thing that might stand a chance is another Commander, and is she really prepared to take a risk like that? is she willing to put it all on the line to fight for a future without fear?

and even if they are the right choice, even if they do agree to help in spite of it all... can she put one of the last good people at risk, knowing just what horrors they'd be up against? facing someone who's killed others like them a hundred times over, allowing them no rest even in death as their shambling corpses are conscripted into his undead army? how can she, in good conscience, expect anyone to face something so horrific with stakes as high as THAT? which is worse; that they turn against her, or that they trust her and die, adding another force of nature to their enemies' ranks? the Sidewinder doesn't know the answer to that question, if there is one.

there's so much weight on every choice she must make, and the consequences of every wrong move are unfathomable. she might not be the Commander, but that, at least, is one thing they have in common. the decisions they make will decide who lives and who dies.

all the Sidewinder can hope is that when she finally does make that leap of faith, she'll be ready to handle whatever results lay in store.

[sunthyme]

Let's go!! Part five, baby! I'm literally having so much fun with these omg. Y'all are so sweet every time, istg I'll cry. If y'all draw my ocs, I WILL cry ong. Also, be warned, this post will have a LOT of characters lol. Welcome to...

🪻Pomefiore🪻

This dorm is so unfairly pretty, wth... Also, despite having 4 freshmen, there is only one second year 😭😭😭. Enjoy!~

First up, our queen in all her glory,

💅Vil Schoenheit💅

(she/he/they) Genderfluid (leaning towards fem mostly) - Panromantic Demisexual

Not me simping for my own design with this one oml.

- I've seen quite a few people headcanon Vil as Desi and I agree. I also view her as technically genderfluid but she normally presents very fem and is on occasion like, "Hm, masculine pronouns today."

- I was going to keep the blonde and make her have some root colour showing but it wasn't looking right. To be honest, she's slaying with the darker hair though.

- Made his eyes a deeper, purple-y blue and their earrings were a gift from Rook as they match her eyes almost perfectly.

- Totally a mother hen, keep in mind I literally have hardly seen her yet but I /think/ that's canon lol?

- Fashion nerd and could list the eras of different fashion trends and famous designers off the top of their head.

- Not a fan of physical activity, just does it to be in fit shape. She actually really likes to read nonfiction and love art history as well.

- Met Rook as first years and they bonded immediately. Probably the first person that Vil really clicked with.

Speaking of...

🏹Rook Hunt🏹

(he/they/she/etc. Doesn't really care lol) Unlabelled Gender - Pansexual

Quick comment: Why does he look so fcuking weird w/out his hat in-game??? I have his ceremonial robes card and if he didn't already scare me, he definitely does now. I think my version looks a little less weird. Anyways, side tangent over.

- I kept his fuck-ass bob, it's simply too iconic, though I gave it a bit more volume and shape. You can decide if he's a natural blonde or not lol.

- I headcanon him to be Chinese and French, and he grew up bilingual. Has a hell of and accent and when he gets upset, they just swap to either Chinese or French, it's a fifty-fifty depending on the day.

- They're not super visible but the bow and arrow earrings were a gift from Vil to celebrate Rook winning an archery competition. I think it was pretty early in their friendship but that's when Rook registered her feelings for Vil.

- For as open as Rook is about finding others attractive, it gets nervous to directly compliment Vil to her face. This is more obvious with saying "I love you," which he doesn't mind tossing out to most people, it's just really personal toward Vil so they avoid saying it lol.

- Most of the compliments that Rook gives Vil are things Vil is already aware of so Rook doesn't chance bringing up all the things they love about Vil. (Can you tell I love them?)

Enough about RookVil. Time for my boy!!

🍎Epel Felmier🍎

(he/him) Transmasc - Gay

*Breaks out the southern accent* Y'all thought the others thus far have been long, hoo boy... Y'all are in for a real treat.

- Firstly, my boy is transmasc. I feel like that's pretty widely accepted 'round these parts but I figured I should shout it out anyways.

- I made him mixed, Scandinavian? and Japanese and gave him some brown eyes to boot. Kept his face real dainty but gave him broader shoulders and a farmer's tan 'cause y'all know he's working at his parent's farm every summer.

- He's styled in like, the southern goth aesthetic and I added some green to his hair 'cause the 'poison' part of 'poisoned apple' wasn't coming across enough. By the way, his grandma dyes her hair in solidarity with him. She's cool. Be like Epel's grandma.

- When he first arrived at NRC, he only had his lobes pierced, then he saw Jade's piercings and was like "I want that,". Jade directed him to Cater, who gave him all his other piercings (not at the same time lmao). Everytime he got a new one, Vil would have a minor heart attack lol.

- I think he'd also actually really like cute things, one of the reasons he lets Vil doll him up for so long, but hates bringing it up 'cause people call him 'girly' or 'feminine' for it. This is another underlying factor for my Jack/Epel dynamic but I'll save that for later.

- Speaking of Savanaclaw, I think he has plans to transfer at the beginning of sophomore year. Also, because he hangs around Jack so much, they kinda consider him a part of the pack. In particular, Epel also really looks up to Leona and approached him in Spelldrive Club about transferring. Leona agreed and took notice of Epel's admiration and if he puts a little more effort into practise afterwards, that's no one's business. (I think he's be like, "Goddammit, these kids keep looking up to me... I should at least give them something worth looking up to." Only the MC would know, and probably Ruggie would notice just having know Leona.) Also, Epel saw Leona's chaps and immediately wanted a pair. Leona took him out to get some and when they got back, Vil was horrified lmao.

I love Epel/Savanaclaw dynamic sm omg but onto my ocs... (Also, I really hope y'all read that with a southern accent, I think it's hilarious lol)

💋Calendula Dame💋

Third Year - (she/her) - Sapphic Aromantic

- She's twisted from Mother Gothel, who, can I just say, SLAYED in her movie ong. Though Disney really needs work on their representation, specifically the fact that her character is very Jewish-coded (I don't think she's canonically Jewish but please correct me if I'm wrong) but is portrayed in an anti-Semitic way, feeding into negative stereotypes. I'm not the most knowledgeable person to speak on this issue and I know it's been throughly discussed by others so please feel free to research it. I did have a friend who is Jewish help me make her character and I hope I did her justice!

- I made her Jewish, specifically Ashkenazi and conservative. I'm not quite sure yet how this would translate into Twisted Wonderland but we'll see.

- She's all about makeup products and she and Vil compare skincare routines in a sort of friendly competition.

- Another fun nod is she loves gardening. Namely flowers but occasionally crops and herbs. She's got her own little plot in the greenhouse and she and Epel discuss gardening tips together.

- She's also a nail artist and quite skilled at that. She has a small 'business' and is especially booked around school events.

Now for one some of y'all have wanted to see for a bit...

🦚Tupac Huamani🦚

Second Year - (he/him) Transmasc - Pan-Demiromantic

The one man I've made this whole time lmaooo.

- Tupac is my Yzma twist! His name is Incan, ironically meaning 'royal', as I figured out The Emperor's New Groove is inspired by Incan culture!

- He's the most flamboyant twink to ever walk the earth and I love him for that. That being said, he and Rocío are my token 'heteros'. They've been friends since first year and get along extremely well. He's got book smarts but literally no common sense. She has no common sense either and so they j st get into silly shenanigans together. I love them sm my little sillies.

- He's more into dramatic makeup and loves to do Rocío's because she's not into makeup and doesn't really know how to do it lol. He's also made her get a nice skincare routine which she follows diligently as she likes routines.

- Probably a part of the Boardgame Club, though I'm not sure how well he does. He probably just enjoys hanging out with the people and the banter rather than the games themselves, though I think he'd be very good at chess and other strategy games.

Up next is...

🐈‍⬛Chaisee Noi🐈‍⬛

First Year - (he/she/it) Genderfluid - Asexual Aromantic

- The first of a set of twins twisted from the Siamese twins in Lady and the Tramp (I think that's what they're in, it's been a hot sec lol). I made them mixed, Black and Thai as Siamese cats originate from Thailand.

- Onto Chaisee specifically, I think he's the 'black cat' personality out of the two of them. She's on the more reserved side and is more blunt and to the point than his sibling is. Also autistic and has particular issues with loud noise and food textures. Not a fan of physical contact and hates being touched without permission.

- He like to fluxuate between masc and fem styles a lot (with the fem pictured here) and enjoys suits for formal wear.

- While it's into fashion, he likes to be more of a rough sketch and designer than actually doing the sewing. Her designs are quite avant-garde and lean into lots of floral patterns.

- She and Nasira work together to come up with different floral arrangements, both for Chaisee's designs and for Nasira's dorm.

For the other twin...

🐈Churai Noi🐈

First Year - (they/them) Nonbinary - Pansexual

- Churai is the 'tabby' cat energy one. They're very affectionate and full of energy. They love to help out others and are constantly doing things with other people.

- A hands-on person, Churai loves sewing and is a part of the sewing club. They tend to be the primary person to work on their sibling's designs because of the level of detail needed.

- ADHD and has to be doing something at all times. Because of this, they have a TON of hobbies, ranging from scrap-booking to fishing to reading about random topics. Gets along incredibly well with Kalim and they love hanging out with him. Also a very touchy person, loves hugs and cuddles!

- Their style is more on the feminine side and they love making cute dresses to wear. Definitely takes a lot of inspiration from the gyaru and harujuku fashion scenes.

⚡Corentin Benoit⚡

First Year - (she/her) - Asexual Aromantic

Last of my Pomefiore characters and second of the triplets, Corentin Benoit!

- The technical oldest of the triplets and she holds that over their heads. She's was both happy and not to be in a different dorm than her younger siblings.

- Looks up to Hestia a lot and wants to be like her when she grows up (as if Hestia know what she's doing but yk).

- She's particularly interested in the poison aspect of Pomefiore and is keen to eventually become housewarden. As such, she's asked for Vil's help to learn as much as she can about making them.

I don't have a lot for her yet but god, this has taken so fcuking long to write omg. I hope y'all liked it! Ignihyde is next!~

[gemmahale]

Hii Gemma!

I consider righteous fury to be the mother of all fix-its but my question is actually more about the.... Scope of what's been posted so far, if that makes sense. Obviously you'd have to write The Scene, but did you know going in you'd cover it so thoroughly? You're phenomenal at writing action so I guess I'm wondering how excited you were to delve into the meat of it or if it was something you were kinda nervous to tackle?

-gouge 💛

@pricegouge, I love that you asked this question. 😀 (Also massively flattered on your consideration for it as such a high place of honor.)

I had to sit on this question overnight to gather my thoughts. I have a lot of them. 💚 This has suddenly become my baby of all babies.

Righteous Fury was never meant to be more than an explanation for something John/Soap does in Museum Muse. I never meant it to turn into the behemoth it is now.

I was nervous to tackle the scene - because I had decided that the best way to fix it was to just rewrite what existed. It took me three tries to get Soap's voice right and beyond just reciting what happened in the script/playthrough. Spoiler: video gameplay does not translate well to the written word, so there was a lot of adding and re-watching and fudging that had to happen.

I was exceptionally afraid of being called a cheat - because none of the dialogue up until "the incident" is mine. (That might be wrong - I think I tucked in a few lines or changed the speaker.) None of the action is mine. But all of the emotion, John's backstory, his motives, are mine.

It was an interesting challenge to work with a framework of existing media and expand upon it. Would I do it again? Maybe, if there was another scene so poorly developed and written.

Spoilers for my version below the cut. I pontificate on some specifics and how I made some artistic choices. 💚

It was also hard to choose where to start - do I start when Price is down and Makarov is standing over him? No, I need more lead up. Do I back up to when Soap and Gaz are feigning disinterest in the hacker? No, that's too far back.

Thankfully, the mission brief provided a perfect point - it established John's hatred and resentment for Makarov, and allowed me to ramp up to the point everyone was dreading.

Now, when it comes to making the choice as to how things go down? I'd seen a post about how it could have gone (can't find the reference, if I do, I'll update this). So I started there.

But really, when you live with someone with similar training, you might as well ask them. 😅 Enter: Kallen.

Hoo boy showing him a playthrough of the mission was a choice. (See #Kallen Kvetches for similar commentary, including the time I showed him Triple Frontier. Man had OPINIONS. Half of them on butts and pecs. 😉) But it also spurred on a conversation of what could happen post-Makarov.

We walked through (we're about the same height, like John and Makarov) the shots. Where the script failed and how - John would have had a knife on him. He would have been better trained to respond. Makarov shouldn't have - well, that's not relevant. Sorry. Basically it boiled down to: John's training would have taken over and he would have acted somewhat closely to what I wrote.

I could have written him getting out unscathed. Genuinely nothing more than a few scratches. Kallen thinks that could have been the more likely outcome as we wrote the scene, had Makarov's finger not tightened around the trigger of his firearm as he fell.

But again, I needed a reason for John to be on modified desk duty for Museum Muse. So...uh...sorry bud. 😅 Might as well use my resources for everything, including surgery. (Yes, Kallen went through a similar surgery in his time in. Yeesh.)

Sorry, I think I got way off tangent. I have a detailed outline of what happens as a result of the first two chapters of Righteous Fury, and a rough idea of how things play out in Museum Muse. It's really going to be interesting seeing the same events from two vastly different POV's. (That can also hopefully stand individually.)

But again, this all started out as a way to justify Soap being on bedrest/desk duty and bored out of his mind, messaging a stranger on a message board. 🤷‍♀️ Oops, instead I retconned, world-built and got feelings everywhere. My bad. (I'm not sorry.)

Me, creating this universe:

Also - I haven't said this out loud yet, just implied it. (But if you've gotten this far in my ramblings, you deserve to know it.)

This is also a memorial fic in a way. A lot of inspiration and information comes from Kallen and his experiences in country (obviously, changed locations and names and such). There's a whole swath of people I never got to meet that were family to him, and he's given me permission to include them. 💔

You might have noticed an Officer Hale in Ch 2. Yeah, that one was a blatant insertion of Kallen. I promise the rest probably won't be as heavy handed and obvious to you - it was just too good of an opportunity to pass up!

[localvoidcat]

tell me abt ur au boy

since i've posted the main summary i'll talk about some extra things i've been thinking about :3

alright so. divorceduo. right from the get-go of the whole situation dave's very suspicious as to why, after SEVENTEEN YEARS of trying to talk to thatcher and getting dead silence, it's only now that thatcher actually tries to help him. at first it's easy to chalk it up to the "nearly died and lost my eyes in a horrific supernatural incident" thing but over time it just leads to more suspicion on his part. eventually thatcher slips up while talking and brings up ruth/mixes up the names during one of his more nervous moments and dave's like oh. so that's what that was then. and from there on out things just get a little more tense. thatcher keeps apologizing for it and saying that he just messed up in the heat of the moment but it's already pretty clear that his concern for this whole situation has been tied to ruth's death. and that's one of the main reasons why dave tried to leave in the first place and he's really tired of it looping back to this. at some point they probably need to confront each other and try to fix things after almost two decades of not fixing things but that's going to have to wait until after the world ends

i got an ask about the heathcliff siblings so i'll skip them for now :3c

ADAM AND MARK AND THATCHER. HOO BOY. so when the catalyst stuff happens and adam starts turning into an alternate it hits mark. very hard. not in a "someone i care about is getting hurt" way but in a "someone i care about betrayed me" way and that. isn't healthy for adam or mark. he's kind of too overcome by his hatred of alternates (after years of being tormented and tricked by things that have taken on the forms of people he cares deeply about) to understand that this really isn't adam's fault and he has no say in this. it's here that thatcher has to step in and be the one that helps adam and this - as with every single goddamn relationship thatcher has with people - really makes things between thatcher and mark tense. because in mark's eyes thatcher is helping out an enemy. he's helping out something that has been contributing to the thing that is ruining everyone's life. he's turning against everyone else in the group, hell, he's turning against his own friend by helping an alternate, isn't he? but for thatcher he sees it as someone being in crisis and he's so quick to want to help people to make up for his own failures that he has to help adam. they do have a sort of fight over this and it. doesn't go well. mark brings up alt thatcher and dave and thatcher immediately gets very defensive over this and doesn't want him to bring his friend into this. i'm guessing this is the fight where thatcher gets his face broken things get VERY heated. afterwards, they start to try to understand each other and team up to help adam. they don't like each other but right now it's more important that they help everyone else instead of wasting their time fighting with each other

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 1/10/2023

the more injuries and minor surgeries i pick up throughout my life i get more convinced i do actually play first person shooters as a power fantasy but not in the normal way. recovering ok, this was prescheduled and premeditated, just extremely tired

listening

are you havin any fun? this tony bennet version is good enough. the SINGULAR line "and nervous indigestion" has been stuck in my head since thursday.

-

reading

another pitch for Molly White's Web3 Is Going Just Great, bc HOO boy did a lot of shit happen last weekend. every crypto gaming project that folds feels like a personal gift to me. i did feel slightly insane last year bc the hype was so intense, everyone at my old job was fully bought in, and i got cited on two "performance reviews" for not being "excited enough" about crypto. anyway i hope my boss' two teslas explode.

-

watching

watched a ton of shit this week, including the entire run of the vampiric interview tv show, which i WILL have more coherent thoughts about later. what a horrible, messy, incredibly satisfying bit of television.

guillermo del toro's pinocchio made me fucking bawl my eyes out and i'm a little resentful of that. stupidly, stupidly beautiful film.

i'm here to talk about s/tar wars the bad b/atch, or at least the second season's first two episodes.

the whitewashing and general racism around the clones has been a problem since attack of the clones but has really only gotten worse with time and is especially bad in this outing of the franchise. i'm not super qualified to talk about this, but i think @unwhitewashthebadbatch is a good starting point.

my biggest storytelling beef is that it feels very much like a DnD campaign that is trying to be a blades in the dark campaign. the format and tone aren't quite right. this show neither focuses on the immediacies of survival right after the republic's collapse, nor where the Bad Batch are trying to fit themselves into a new world, and it really suffers for it. there's almost nothing about parenthood (bc Omega is still tagging along on missions, and she is still twelve). i still don't really know the story this show is trying to tell, but am forced to conclude that a weekly show for children about guys who can do some sick flips is not the correct medium since i still don't fucking know what story this show is trying to tell.

there are eight products on shopDisney for this show and two of them are on clearance. i do not anticipate this series will be renewed past s3. apparently according to some advance reviewers this picks the fuck up after the midpoint of the season but i'm not holding my breath.

production wise, the backgrounds and lighting have gotten way better, they've really leaned into a luminous sort of matte painting that doesn't always pretend to have depth. i like how the rocky set in the second episode feels very much like a live-action limited-budget set. looks very much like a soundstage but animated, and i think that's oddly charming. i do like the location we visited in e2, wish we got to see more of it or talk really at all about the significance of the location. like. we have a literal castle chase and we don't talk about the castle At All. come ON.

one of the few canon trans characters in star wars deserves a better show with more coherent storytelling. love star wars! wish it was good.

-

playing

largely fallow week. shouts out to the app Flick Solitaire bc i played through a hundred and fifty levels in the past few days

-

making

some knitting problems i have to mull over before i post, bc i created an entire kerchief thing in a percocet haze but am unhappy with the finish. we shall see! might frog it but i'll post about it before i do

[feekins]

hoo boy, ch 8. okay. I've got tea steeping. I've got a comfy throw blanket. I have my cat on standby, bc...honestly idr how I reacted the first time I read this almost 20 years ago. all I know is that a lot of things flew over my head at that age, so it should be uh. interesting. to see what I get out of it as an adult.

so yeah - my thoughts and things as I re-read ch8 of Trigun vol 2.

I'M NOT NERVOUS. YOU'RE NERVOUS. 🫣

(NOTE: I'm reading the Dark Horse [physical] and the Overhaul [online] translations side-by-side)

ok so uh. this is gonna be a longass post. no joke, I took reference pics of almost every single page of this chapter, but thanks to the 10-image limit...well. we'll see how this goes.

on the very first page, we have some context-changing translation discrepancies.

in Dark Horse, we've got:

WOLFWOOD: "I got a bad feeling...about these guys." (referring to the dudes he beat up when they tried to jump him as he walked into the church in the last chapter)

LEGATO: "How rude. How else do you expect to be treated when you suddenly trespass?"

meanwhile, the Overhaul has something much more informative, once again:

WOLFWOOD: "Who are these idiots? The Roderick slavers?"

LEGATO: "My apologies... I just needed to show late arrivals who they are dealing with."

then, on the next page, we see that Legato and Wolfwood haven't met before (which was something I was wondering about last chapter). they only recognize each other by physical descriptors (Wolfwood's cross, Legato's skull and torture device).

(Dark Horse on top, Overhaul on bottom)

again, the Overhaul is more informative. and the panel right after this one...Vash looks so exhausted 🥺

there's also a difference in Dominique's last words to Vash a few pages later. Dark Horse has her saying, in reference to Legato "No one stands up to that man. Do you think he'd help me after I've failed?" meanwhile, the Overhaul has "If I can't be of service to him...then there is only one way this can turn out."

and then, she jumps :( Dominique remains one of my fav GHGs... it would be nice to see her return (she's on Wanted posters!!!) in tristamp, but. in any case. I lov her. and I'd love to learn more about her 🥺

Vash passes out right as Dominique's falling, and my younger self always thought that was weird? but their fight was a LOT more taxing than it first appeared, at least to me. we see proof of this later in the chapter.

some little translation discrepancies here. Midvalley's line in Dark Horse always kinda confused me. ty, Overhaul, for clarifying so much! oh, and Legato's last line here - for some reason I always thought he was talking about Vash? but now I realize he's talking about KNIVES. that's not translation-induced confusion, tho - just me being A Silly Lil Guy again, I guess 🤪

oh, and I didn't point it out in the last chapter, but...there's something striking about there being a church right at the top of Jeneora Rock. I can't explain why. it's just...something that rly sticks out or seems important to me.

OH, BUT THEN!!!

IT'S THE DOCTAAAAAAAAAand that's all the screaming I'll do about him for now 🤭

again, the Overhaul's translation is more informative, explicitly mentioning Knives' injuries, but idk. maybe I'm nitpicking. whateverrrrr, me likey additional info =u=

now...we get into the heavier topics.

their plan for resurrecting Knives is. disturbing. to say the least. you've got the physical horror, which was what most struck me when I was a teenager...but what gets me now is the violation/exploitation/stripping of agency from another plant for personal gain/survival...of which humans are guilty...but this time, it's all in the name of The Big Bad Human-Hater. and so, right when we finally get to meet him in the flesh, the narrative shows how, Plant Shenanigans aside, Knives...really isn't all that different from the humans he so hates. he perpetuates the exact. same. shit. the cognitive dissonance, man... 😣

more Dark Horse-induced confusion the Overhaul's cleared up for me

then, at the bottom of the page, where Wolfwood's grousing, Dark Horse has him saying "Shit! What the hell was with all th' training?!" (another line that always confused me) whereas the Overhaul has "Shit! What the hell am I doin'?!"

and that leads me into the next thing I wanted to note: it's here that we see Wolfwood is a man stuck between a rock and a hard place. he gets frustrated with it, doesn't want to do it, but he fully believes he can't get out of it :(

I also want to note a difference between the manga and tristamp - manga Vash is able to sense Knives the moment he's resurrected, whereas tristamp Vash is only aware of Knives' presence when the diner piano starts playing (ep 3). it's an interesting difference!

but then, there's fking...

...this. immediately after Knives is reborn.

I didn't think anything of it as a teen. but now...initially, I was horrified, thinking "oh shit, oh fuck, what the hell is he doing to his 'mother' now" BUT. looking at it a second time, I think I get what the context is telling us. on the previous page, there's Knives WITH HIS 'MOTHER' UNDERFOOT. on the panel immediately below the one I've shown, there's an explosion. so. I think what's going on here is that Knives is using his plant abilities to bust out - which still isn't great, most likely killing his 'mother' in the process...but unfortunately, considering who this is, it tracks;;;;;;

(Dark Horse on left, Overhaul on right)

so much more urgency comes through in the Overhaul's translation here - "...I NEED to face him. I have to END this!"

we also get a lot more out of the Overhaul on the next page, when Vash is talking about his memory loss. both translations start with Vash saying "Everything on the other side is blank..." but whereas Dark Horse has him continue with "Where there is no memory, I must go to fill in the void..." the Overhaul has "I lost all memory of what I've done. All that was left with me was a void and a memory of a mountain of rubble."

then, when Vash gets to Knives and points his gun at him...Knives' absolutely deranged reaction, which I found funny as a teen, now just. gives me the chills. as does how tristamp drew directly from this exchange for their meeting in that diner.

aaaaand we have some translation weirdness after Knives sees Vash's scars and is all "Vash y u no learn?!" Dark Horse then misattributes 2 speech bubbles in a panel with Vash, instead having Knives say:

KNIVES: "If you keep count, you've hurt so many more than you've killed. And compare that to all the destruction you've caused..."

KNIVES (next panel, speech bubbles are his): "So, shouldn't you...point that thing somewhere else?"

the Overhaul is, once again, a lot more clear here:

VASH (in reference to his scars): "They're nothing compared to the burden of death and destruction you've put on me! You're gonna pay for your sins, you monster!"

KNIVES: "Considering what you did with that right arm of yours...shouldn't you be pointing that gun somewhere else then?"

I believe that's what we call gaslighting? and the victim blaming Knives does over and over is... 😬

more translation weirdness. no comment here - I've been working on this post for literal hours now igkhddkhdjg

...no translation weirdness here - just wanted to note...I didn't get this part as a teen. now, I do... 😟

and both translations of the first thing Knives says to Vash after forcing him to bring out the angel arm now strike me as. so messed up. part of the SA/noncon allegory...

KNIVES (Dark Horse): "Well?! How do you like it, Vash?"

VS

KNIVES (Overhaul): "How is it?! How does it feel, Vash?!"

and then, right before it fires? for some reason, Dark Horse completely leaves out what Vash says/thinks immediately after Rem's name. before the Overhaul, I had no idea that this bit was a thing: "...we were no good...right from the start." 😭

now here. have an Emotional Support Charlie. she slept beside me the whole damn time I wrote this post 💕

[a-big-apple]

omg these are bangers i got greedy 🍅🥐🍬🍄

<3 <3 <3

🍅 ⇢ give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing

this one is here! you and t have it in for me today!!

🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh

So close!! That is a shape 💕

also tutant meenage neetle teetles

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

hoo boy ok STRAP IN! i think maybe we have talked about this before on discord, oh well. i don't think coronabeth is fat in canon, and i'm just not into it in fanon. i think she's tall, i think she has big hair, i think she has big presence. i think she's got some bazongas and some curves and she's not as wasted-thin as ianthe. i think there is weight bias deeply entrenched in House culture (and that's not a criticism of tamsyn muir, i think it's an interesting part of her worldbuilding). the most iconic binary in this world is necromancer and cavalier: someone whose power literally eats away at them, and so thinness is evidence of necromantic strength; and someone whose purpose is to fight, and so muscleyness is ideal.

i think gideon, for example, is muscley fat. tamsyn described her as built like a rugby player, thick and solid. she only eats protein paste and greens and works out a LOT, she's achieving the cavalier ideal of muscle mass, and she lives in a freezing cold environment where the extra insulation of some fat is helpful. ortus, on the other hand, is not muscley--he's just fat. his size is perpetually derided in the narration. he fits nowhere on the binary of what's desirable in the Houses, and so he is utterly unattractive and therefore inconsequential.

coronabeth is the hottest girl anyone has ever seen. she's healthy-looking for a necromancer. she's the opposite end of the spectrum from ortus: also neither skinny nor muscley (until NtN when she's got some biceps), but in a vivacious way that makes everybody super into her. yes, because she's a woman and this is a sapphic series, but also because House culture has clearly held on to pre-Res standards of attractiveness. boobs, hair, a white girl with a great tan, probably a trendy amount of "thicc." i don't feel, personally, that fanon-ing her fat does me as a fat person any great service; it obscures any conversation on the actually interesting weight bias happening in the books that echoes and complicates the weight bias of everyday life. seeing a fat corona doesn't tell me that people think my body is traffic-stoppingly gorgeous or that i have value outside my attractiveness or non-attractiveness, it tells me that the only character who can afford to be consistently fat in fanon is the one who is repeatedly praised as the most attractive in canon, and that's only if she's sexy fat--bosoms breaching containment, pillowy and perfectly shaped hips and thighs and ass, just a little bit of belly and back rolls sometimes as a treat.

tbh if it's a kink thing, folks should do what floats their boats! but to me it's not some big representation win, just own the kink, make everybody sexy fat, whatever (i mean this genuinely, i am in favor of kink even though this is not one of mine).

so i guess my actual hot take is that i wish there was more ortus art and fic about how the strength of his love and conviction and lungs all saved the day and he did it while being fat and depressed and not sexy

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

i answered this one here but i'll do griddlehark too for funsies! i think neither of them is the least bit suave or confident in relationships, doubly so with each other, they are the two shyest and most tittering, blushing, nervous, virginal queers you have ever seen and it would take them weeks if not months of dating to even start taking their shirts off to make out let alone anything spicier. no matter how many bases they hit they will never not be shy, they will just keep raising the bar of where the shyness starts.

Writers Truth & Dare Ask Game

[willow-lark]

🌻🍉🎀☯️ for the fanfic asks game, if you so desire! :]

🌻what makes you want to give up on writing? what makes you keep going?

oh, that's a good one. honestly, i've got into a bad habit lately of feeling like not having as much engagement as other writers makes me a bad one. like i'm not!! many people rlly like my fics, and i'm thankful for that. but despite a lot of people calling for change in the byler fandom, it can be really hard for smaller writers to gain any traction/response, which leads to insecurity and can be really frustrating. lowkey i miss the 4-5 years i spent ONLY being on ffn/ao3 & dealing with the rest of fandom. i never felt this insecure about my work back then. but i keep going because i love to write, and i do like sharing it with other people. i like putting my blorbos in Situations >:)

🍉in what ways has writing helped you process trauma and/or navigate through your own life?

hoo boy. ok. so there are MANY (unpublished) wips in my drive rn from the summer of 2019, when i literally did nothing but write vent/party-bashing fics about will being mistreated by them. yeeeah. i adore the party, and they r all very good people and friends, but will's experience hit a liiiittle too close to home. and my experience did NOT end up well for me. 😬

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing

i think i'm good at writing internal monologues!! i hope people think so too. i really enjoy getting into characters' heads.

☯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

i think it definitely builds a lot of rapport and uplifts people!! i know i always really enjoy interacting with people. although i am a very nervous person, so 90% of the time i'm just making posts being like "HEY COME DM ME." like, i need to stop 😅 (please do tho 👀) but in general people have been very kind, including you!! i'm really really glad i've talked to you 💕💕 i really like talking to people but i always get so nervous about it. (i feel like part of that comes from feeling like everyone has a head start on me in making friends here even though i've been in fandom for like. 8 years now. rip)

anyways,

come ask me a question about my fics!!

[sparkykitsune]

life update

gonna make a PSA that my university starts in two days and I'm positive that life will be busier for me (I also have art block too for now) hoo boy, two hour commuting via bus twice a day and five courses, I'll probably be free on weekends and such but there's a chance I might try to job hunt for money and such edit (02/09/23): so i checked out my timetable and i think i should be free on fridays and the weekend, and maybe on the remaining weekdays (minus wednesday, that's gonna be my busy day)

I'm fine with this life change despite maybe being nervous about it, but I can tell myself I don't need to abandon my interests just because I've grown up (got plenty of my interests to wait for, such as Dragon Quest Monsters: The Dark Prince, later this year)

have a re-📬 of a drawing I never posted here (I posted it on my other socials back then) just have a Quaxly for reading through (drawn by myself)

[jortsman]

@bubopeli I got the email that you had sent this ask, but then it wasn't in my tumblr inbox and it apparently is one with the void now, so? But! Thank you so much for your encouraging words; I'm very nervous about actually finishing this and am having a whole lot of hesitation about the next few chapters that I just need to push my way through. I have the ending already written, but I can feel that actually *posting* it is absolutely going to fuck me up once I get to that point. I can't imagine what it's going to be like for people who have actually read the entire thing, oof.

And hoo boy, I do still really love that chapter as well. I wrote that one in a completely different way from any other chapter (I wrote the ending first without any idea of how to get to that ending, and then reverse-engineered the entire thing in order to force a way for that ending to happen. It didn't feel like a good idea at first, but it worked out so well).

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts! It makes me incredibly happy that you feel this big ol' thing is worth reading more than once. That's a lot of time to dedicate to something, and I appreciate it immensely. I hope you enjoy everything I've added since the last time you read ❤️

[bew-berry]

Hoo boy I had an infuriating night last night and to take my mind off it i started thinking about writing aus. I've reached the "how would my characters die in aus" part of creating because I'm in a foul mood and I made myself very sad now rather than angry. It's pretty obvious who is who if you follow my oc posts which I doubt many do. That's fine. I dont post much about them anymore...at least not here. I've mostly moved them elsewhere.

I'm not killing them off. That'll never ever happen. This was just a thought that became a thing and it got me thinking what ifs and it got dark. Im sure every creator goes through it and has like dark aus for ocs. I see those posts talking about giving them fucked up lives for fun. This wasn't fun for me though. Anywho in order from oldest to youngest:

A: Domestic abuse and was possibly pregnant from a forced time. She wouldn't have known yet but was starting to suspect. Is found bruised and battered lying over broken glass by the stairs. She had been isolated from her family so they didn't know how bad it was. She did a great job playing it off like nothing was wrong to not worry them even though some of the sisters knew better.

C: Killed by fiancé's mistress but not before being taken and brutally tortured for days. Is found later when it's too late and it's so bad she can't be identified right away. Fiancé had no part in it even though he becomes the prime suspect. She had found out about the affair and wanted to leave but he wanted to work things out and ended affair with his mistress to prove it. Mistress loses her mind and takes revenge.

M: Eating disorder (ano/bul) caused by mental/emotional/verbal abuse and heartbreak from her narcissistic boyfriend who intentionally gets involved with her cousin towards the end just to hurt her and throws it in her face. He knows how to keep her and tears her down if he sees any glimpse of light or joy in her eyes because he thinks it's funny. She likely has a couple of nervous breakdowns throughout the whole thing making her very sick to the point of no return.

L: Suicide. Becomes severely depressed after losing an important person in her life. Never comes out of it. Self harms to cope and takes pills to knock out all the time. Just gives up and spirals further as her mental health declines. Increases sleeping pills to avoid real life. She is found at home in the tub with the bottle of pills by the foot of the tub.

And the remaining family likely in a tragic accident at the family restaurant. Maybe a fire or robbery gone wrong.

I will never kill my girls or their family off, and it hurt me when this shit came to mind, but oh well. Sometimes that's the direction the mind goes when creating stuff while in a mood. I'm never writing these aus. I already feel bad for them. Maybe I should just write an actual story with them. They deserve so much love.

[ridragon]

I have so many alerts on my phone rn from not having it for four days and I can't decide if I should just go fuck it not important or go through them all............... Hoo boy. Lots of emotions conflicting in my head right now. Stomach is in knots. I'm very nervous about a lot of things. And also very very very tired from dealing with my mom for three days straight, so if this post is nonsensical it's because I am very much spent from her being here lmao.

Just really typing this out for myself rather than to anyone, since I don't really think many people read my personal stuff anyways (which is completely fine!!!!!!! You don't have to!!!!)

Gotta fix a lot of things with the house. Gotta get a lot of new things. Gotta sort out a lot of paperwork. We can do this. I just need to push through. I've made it this far, right? ... Right?

Blah. Made it through on a fluke honestly. Guess we'll see what happens.

Man. I wish I was better. Just like in general I guess.

[honestlysarcastic]

a legend

[i3utterflyeffect]

my hands are bad today again and i don’t want to do the delicate art of linework, therefore i’m just gonna be doodling my new toonkind ocs (and maybe i’ll share some of the sketches if i like em)

[twstwonderlandstuff]

Hiya! I just saw your recent post about the dorm leaders finding mc attractive. Could you do the vice housewardens (specifically Jamil)?

well, normally I wouldn't be able to do Jamil, but for you nonnie, I can make an expection.

so, the count will be (vice housewarden of my heart) ruggie, jade and Jamil.

🍉 Ruggie Bucchi 🍉

he knows you, the ramshackle prefect. a' course he does. after you ruined the entire plan of his dorm, it's expected for him to get a little pissed at you, don't you think?

and he does, for a while, but when he sees how hard you work- be it for Crowley or Grim; heck, even for the unruly Heartslabyul duo. truly, sometimes he sees you do things he can't and he's all '...huh.' in an 'I'm impressed.' tone, but you won't see it for a while.

nay, these glimpses of unexpected dedication turn into once-in-a-while feelings, and slowly but surely, Ruggie's admiration for you grows, well enough that he can now casually talk to you while doing his own thing. it's become commonplace for you to either drop into Savanaclaw just to help/hang with him or vice versa.

this is the turning point for Ruggie, and he both hates and loves it. he loves it 'cuz it gives him such a tingle, like electricity courses through him and it gets him so fizzy about you. bad thing is, it's NOT the ideal state to work, combined with his now constant thoughts of you.

still, the love outweighs the hate. the things your crush does to you...

🍉 jade leech 🍉

good luck ever finding out when he starts noticing you because this man's poker face is always game 24/7. seriously, will you ever find out? no.

jade's already noticed you at the beginning of book two when you were doing interviews with the Heartslabyul members. a magical student, now tasked with finding out the mystery behind the injured students? Crowley makes great use of his authority over you.

he's fully expecting you to fail, but when you don't, and instead you foil Leona's plans? now he's intrigued. a magicless student, with mediocre talents, able to combat Leona's wits... a sight to behold.

he actively seeks you out when you're nearby, striking up a conversation when he can to watch your facial expression twist and turn. like his twin, jade enjoys seeing how people react- especially when they wear their hearts on their sleeve. however, unlike his twin, jade is far more sadistic.

his words cut deep, and the eery grin that's always present on his face makes a great combination in scaring people, but... even if you're scared, you say things that amuse him.

what's that, you're interested in his terrarium hobby? he wastes no time bringing you to his room, fully in the belief that you'll try to budge out of it... and you do, but once you're in, you're submerged and get genuinely curious about it- and to an extent, about him. doesn't that just thrum your heartstrings right?

hoo boy, he's going to be all up on you now, in his calculated way. have fun~

🍉 Jamil viper 🍉

Jamil doesn't have time to be interested in somebody- he's on a job 24/7 and school to boot, you think he's got the time to be into someone?

yeah, he does... you. Jamil swears he isn't a masochist, but here he is, pining over you when he neither has the time or energy to pursue it further.

let's rewind a bit. he's only started noticing you after his OB, and wowwww have you always been this cheery? seriously, one happy-go-lucky person in his life is enough, he doesn't need another one.

except, you take your time to understand him. except, you offer genuine help even when he refuses; you're very persistent. except, you force him to relax and take care of Kalim for a bit to let him chill out. except, except, except... the list starts turning into maybe's, then yes's.

And now we're back in the present. woo! congrats, he now constantly feels nervous when he's in your presence and there's not a thing he can do about it! he's never been so glad for his hoodie to hide his face anytime he blushes (which is often, btw).

he gifts you his food and even his help with the limited time he has, but even that gets his heart racing, 'cuz you just end up spending time with him instead.

he can't risk Kalim knowing, so read him, just like you always do, okay? he doesn't just do this for anyone, after all.