#hooo I’m all emotional now >w<

[shimii26]

Faz-Pocket Shenanigans

“Aaaaand… That should do it! Alright Sun and Moon, your upgrades are done!” A Parts and Service technician told them.” Why don’t you try out some of the features here while you’re off duty?”

Sun and Moon sat up from the bench and began scrolling through their emotion settings. The two of them had been given a whole bodily system remodeling that’s required for all animatronics in the Pizzaplex. It had been quite some time since either of them had received any kind of upgrade after their initial separation. With Moon’s virus causing many concerns about the wellbeing of the daycare attendees, the staff felt it was safest if the two were separated into two bodies, that way, any defects could be identified and treated easier. Sun and Moon stepped over to a nearby mirror to take a look at some of their more obvious changes.

“Ho ho hooo boy, this is so exciting, my face looks so expressive! There’s so many options and colors, I can’t wait to see what else is new!” Sun squealed, looking at himself in the top part of the mirror.

“Hrmm, I guess I do look a bit more handsome with this upgrade.” Moon smirked, rubbing his chin in the bottom part of the mirror.

“Yup, you both have been given a new face lift! Your pupils can change colors and size, as well as display some emotes and symbols to help you better communicate with kids who may not be very expressive or nonverbal. Sun, your face rays have changed to a more softer material of silicone that can bend and flex so the kids will be safer touching them. Moon, you’ve been given a softer chest plate material, that way the kids will stay comfortable should they choose to lie on you during naptime. You also have some new body upgrades, give the temperature gauge a shot!” they explained.

“...Whoa, we can heat up!? The kids’ll love this!” Sun giggled, noticing their chest had become warm to the touch.

‘This could be useful for colder nights at naptime.’ Moon thought to himself, adjusting the temperature to various settings.

“Great, you’re working perfectly! Your fingertips also have this temperature feature, that way you can warm up baby bottles to a proper temp for the babies we may get.” The technician informed them. “Any questions you have so far?”

“Are there any more new features we haven’t tried yet?” Sun asked. “I want to-” before he could finish his sentence, he was interrupted by the sound of low gears grinding in his midriff. “What the?”

“What was that, Sun?” Moon wondered. “You’ve never made that noise befo-” before he could finish his sentence as well, a low gear grinding noise also came from his midriff. “W-whoa… was that me?”

The two of them were confused by the new uncomfortable sensation, sure they could feel textures they touched, and feelings they felt, but this was an unusually empty feeling. They also noticed the technician’s emotions change from pride to concern, almost like they were guilty about something they weren’t telling them.

“Ohhh yeah… That new feature… U-Uh, listen boys-” the technician shuffled closer to explain. “Sit down, we need to talk… The pizzeria has been going through a bit of a power crisis, the city isn’t allowing us to use as much power for the Pizzaplex as we need, so we had to come up with a temporary solution to power you two up without having to use so much electricity, so now… You two have been upgraded to be able to eat as a substitute measure to refuel.”

“W-We can eat now?” Sun gasped. “...We can eat, we can eat! Now I can finally have tea and cookies with the kids during tea parties and share their snacks at snack time!”

“Greeeaaat, we can eat, lovely…” Moon grumbled, not as thrilled with the new change to his body.

“You’re not excited, Moon!?” Sun asked.

“Sun, they’re all asleep when I’m working…” Moon explained. “Kids don’t eat during naptime…”

“Yes I know, I’m sure at least one of you is looking forward to testing this feature out with the kids, but I first need to explain a few rules about how to take care of your new system.” They warned, handing them both an instruction and troubleshooting booklet. “Please read over this before you go eating something stupid and damaging your bodies, we don’t want to have to bring you back here during your shift…”

Sun and Moon both looked at each other, there were already quite a lot of rules to follow in the daycare, so the thought of having a whole other function to worry about was a bit disappointing. Moon wasn’t a fan of restriction when it came to impeding his offtime while Sun didn’t like the idea of not having complete freedom over what he could do with his body. They flipped through some of the pages and read through the “Do’s and Don’ts” section.

“No sticky liquids or creamy substances, avoid consuming water at all times…” Moon read out loud.

“No eating inanimate or inedible objects?” Sun read with confusion.

“That means YOU, Sun. I know you have a reputation for getting glitter glue in your chest cavity…” the tech scolded him.

“Awww, but if the kids get to eat the glitter glue, why can’t I!?” Sun complained.

“Sun, they’re not SUPPOSED to eat the glue…” Moon chastised. “You’re not keeping that good of an eye on them if they are~”

“Hey! Meanie!” Sun whined, sticking his tongue out at Moon.

“Enough you two, now I need you both to kickstart your new systems. You should be able to convert the food you eat into immediate energy, so we’re going to give you your first meals now just to make sure everything's up to code.” they informed them, turning around to grab some sugar cookies from the desk. “You’ll need to make sure you’re eating something at least once every twelve hours, your bodies will let you know with the grinding you just felt earlier. It may not feel very comfortable if you let it continue for long. The signal will be subtle enough that the kids shouldn’t notice or be frightened by. If they do notice, it should be easy to explain to them that you just need a snack. With the way your shifts switch, you should be able to get a bite to eat while the other one is on duty. Now c'mon, eat up.”

“Cookies!? I’ve been waiting for this day!” Sun squealed, grabbing the cookie from the tray.

“Eugh, really?...” Moon groaned, not wanting his first meal to be so sweet.

Sun immediately tossed the cookie in and chewed with his mouth open. “MMMMMM~! SO GOOD, I COULD CRY!” Sun cried.

“Sun, you’re getting crumbs all over the floor…” Moon cringed, watching his friend munching on the dessert with gusto.

“You two, Moon…” They reminded him, holding the cookie closer to his hand.

“...Fine.” Moon sighed, grabbing the cookie from the tray and taking a small bite. He shrugged. “...Not bad.”

Once the two finished their treat, they noticed the uncomfortable feeling within began to fade, as well as the grinding noise. They assumed the system was set up this way to have an unnoticeable reminder in case they didn’t remember themselves, or perhaps it was a way of mimicking how human’s body systems functioned. Either way, it would be a sensation that Sun and Moon would have to get used to as it didn’t seem like the Pizzeria would be able to supply them with enough battery power for a while.

“Alright, the grinding noise has stopped, which means things should be working. How do you two feel?” They asked.

“Way energized! I feel like I could climb the tallest play structure in the world!” Sun shouted with glee, jogging in place with his sudden energy boost.

“And you, Moon?...”

. . .

“Awake…” Moon groaned, not enjoying the sudden rush of energy.

“Good, it’s ready to go. You two should head back to your rooms and read over the booklet, there’s a few more things we hadn’t gone through about your upgrades, and you’ll need to be familiar with these rules and regulations.” they told them, getting up from their seats.

“Yes sir.” They both answered back, heading out the door.

- - -

“Do not leave the daycare during your shift to refuel unless absolutely necessary…” Sun read.

“Make sure to empty out the contents of your waste storage tank after ten uses or less…” Moon reads as well.

“Eww, that doesn’t sound very sanitary… Wait, does that mean we have to use the bathroom now?” Sun wondered.

“No, I think we can just dump it out in a trash can.” Moon explained. “This is a lot more complicated of an upgrade than I expected, why can’t they just get the city to give more power to the Pizzaplex so we don’t have to rely on eating to refuel?”

“I don’t know, it doesn’t seem fair to me either… Well, we can only make the best out of this. And hey, maybe it could be kinda fun trying any new foods the kids want to share with us!” Sun reassured him.

“Make sure it’s a food that's not on this list, we don’t want to end up back in Parts and Services, especially with your habit of getting glitter glue in your circuits…” Moon warned him.

“But it’s so shiny!” Sun whined.

“Anyway, we should probably get ready for tomorrow, you’ll be on shift, so you should eat something else tonight.” Moon told him.

“Oh yeah, that way I won’t have to deal with any grinding noises during my time with the kids!” Sun smiled.

“I guess that’s why they set the reminder to every twelve hours, it lines up with our schedules.” Moon pieced together. “So… what are you going to have?”

“Hrmm… Well, the Pizzaplex does try to support kids to eat healthy, so maybe I should try something healthy too! It’ll help me better understand why it’s important for the kids!” Sun decided.

“I think there’s a fruit bowl by the snack corner you can take from.” Moon pointed out.

“But isn’t that fruit for the kids to eat?” Sun showed his concern.

“Hey, we have to eat now. I’m sure the staff will make an exception.” Moon snickered.

“You’re right, I’mma go grab something now!” Sun agreed and got up, trotting over to the snack corner after jumping off of the stage edge and returning minutes later with a banana. “I can’t wait to try it!”

Moon watched as Sun proceeded to take a bite out of the banana without peeling it first with no hesitation. He cringed as the sound of the slimy fruit and peel was being horribly masticated in Sun’s mouth.

“Mmmmm, it’s sweet!” Sun told Moon with his mouth full.

“Argh Sun! You’re supposed to take the peel off first and throw it away, not eat it!” Moon complained, covering his hearing sensors.

“I’m not?” Sun asked, his mouth opening wider and getting banana bits on their rug.

“Gross Sun, keep your mouth shut while you eat too, you’re making a mess on the carpet…” Moon groaned.

“Gee Moon, I’m sorry. I didn’t know-” He started before his mouth was clamped shut by Moon’s hand.

“Shut up, I said keep it shut!” Moon barked. “You better not do that in front of the kids, learn your table manners before the morning.”

Sun nodded before Moon took his hand off his mouth, he finished chewing the mouthful before swallowing it down, letting his body do the rest of the work. He figured he was already halfway through eating the banana peel, so he decided to finish it as well.

“Sun, don’t- urgh… F-Fine fine, just don’t eat the peel again.” Moon started, but gave in.

“Whew, I feel great! I can’t wait to start the workday!” Sun jumped up, heading towards the stage to jump into the ball pit.

“Wait, you need to review your table-... Hmph, enjoy your day…” Moon sighed, following behind him and dangling his feet over the edge.

Sun jumped down and swam in the plastic balls, fully embracing the sudden boost of energy. He popped his head out an hour later when he heard the daycare guard opening up the gates to let the early morning kids inside to check in and play. He skipped over to greet every child that walked in, getting the play area ready for the backyard games first. Moon watched from the stage edge as Sun took care of business with the kids downstairs, softly smiling as he saw all those happy faces and laughter come out during their play. Despite having eaten a couple of hours ago, Moon felt quite tired from the stress of learning about his new upgrades catching up to him.

‘Hrmm, maybe I should rest before my shift. Gonna need some sleep if I’m gonna be watching for any naughty children who won’t sleep…’ Moon thought as he yawned and stretched his arms.

He got up from the stage edge and stumbled into his bedroom, flopping into his bed and pulling out his booklet from his pocket. He flipped through the troubleshoots section.

“I should read a bit more before I… I…Urghh…” Moon groaned as his eyelids grew heavier and closed, slowly drifting off to sleep, the booklet falling to his side.

- - -

“Ohhh Moony~!” Sun and the children called out to Moon.

“Zzzzz-snrrkk- Huh, wha-?...” Moon snorted awake in a rather unusual position on the bed with his rear in the air and his head halfway to the floor.

Sun and the kids were calling his name, he looked at the clock, it was 8:00 at night.

“-Oh shit, I overslept!...” Moon panicked, stumbling out of bed.

Moon spiffed himself up as best as he could before running out of his room and over to the stage edge, hooking himself up to the fly rig before lowering himself down to join Sun by the ball pit and begin his shift.

“Hrmm, I don’t think Moon heard us, let’s call his name again, Starlights!” Sun instructed the kids. “Ohhh Moooony~!”

“There he is!” “Moony!” “Yayyy!” “Over there!” The kids all screamed to Sun and pointed up to Moon.

“Ohhh, there you are Moon! We were getting worried about you! Are you ready to start the sleeping part of the slumber party?” Sun asked him.

“Youuu bet! I hope you had fun playing with Sun all day, but now it’s time to rest.” Moon explained, removing his fly rig from his back. “You two Sunny!”

“Whaaat??? Me???” Sun played along, having done this routine over and over.

“Yes! You must be soooo tired after playing all day, why don’t you set a good example and head to bed as well?” Moon carried on with the routine.

“But Moony, I’m not-” Sun started, but then let out a big loud yawn. “Sleepy…”

“Ooooo~ Are you sure about that? What do you think, Starlights?” Moon asked the kids.

“Yeah, go to bed Sunny!” “Nap Time!” “Get some rest, Mr. Sun!” the kids agreed.

“Well… Alright, maybe I am just a liiiiittle tired… I guess I’ll go to bed too. Thanks for all the fun today, kiddos! I can’t wait to see you all tomorrow!” Sun smiled, marching over to the ball pit to finish his act.

With one last loud yawn, Sun flopped into the ball pit and disappeared under the plastic colors, fake snoring quite loudly for a bit. The children giggled when they saw the balls fly everywhere, it was the funniest thing Sun did today. Moon began his second part of his shift by cartwheeling over to where the daycare’s pillows and blankets were kept.

“Now then Starlights, everyone grab a pillow and blanket, and we can begin to settle down for story time!” Moon smiled, opening up the pillow and blanket boxes.

“Yayyy!” “I want the star blanket!” “So sleepy…” The kids mumbled as they each grabbed their supplies one by one.

“I have some choices for which story you’d like to hear tonight, we have Cinderella, Goodnight Moon, or we have Alice in Wonderland~” Moon told them, obviously putting the more desired story by the kids at the end of the choices.

“Alice in Wonderland!” “Alice in Wonderland!” “Alice in Wonderland!” “Alice in Wonderland!” All the kids shouted.

“Hehehehe okay, we’ll read Alice in Wonderland. Now everyone, find a spot to lay your weary heads, and I’ll start to pass out the Sleepy-Time candy.” Moon chuckled.

One by one, the children chose a spot in the daycare near the ball pit to rest, and Moon walked by each one of them, giving them a piece of Moondrop candy. As they nibbled on their treat, the melatonin inside the sticky layers began to soothe even the most rowdy of children, and they all watched as Moon sat down in a criss-cross to begin the story.

“Now then, let’s begin… ‘Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it, and what is the use of a book, thought Alice…’” Moon read softly outloud.

- - -

“Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of hers would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how she would keep, through all her riper years, the simple and loving heart of her childhood: and how she would gather about her other little children, and make their eyes bright and eager with many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of Wonderland of long ago: and how she would feel with all their simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple joys, remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer days…The End.” Moon finished.

He closed the book cover and looked out over the daycare to see that every child had fallen asleep. It brightened his night to be back at his job, he was worried he would’ve been decommissioned due to that virus he had been subjected to a while back. Sun sat up from the ball pit and tiptoed over to Moon.

“You did great, Moony. Will you be alright here by yourself while I go refuel?” Sun whispered to Moon, patting him on the back.

“Yeah, you go ahead, it should be an easy night tonight, I’ll be fine.” Moon nodded and handed Sun his fly rig. “See you in a bit, and don’t forget this.”

Sun smiled and rose up with the fly rig cable to the exit of the daycare, making sure his wrist bells didn’t jingle. Moon watched as his friend slowly opened the door and slowly shut it behind him, leaving him alone to watch over the children as they slept. He checked the watch on the giant screen behind the security desk.

‘Hrmm, 11:30… That was quicker getting everyone down than I-” He thought at first, but then-

*CLICK CREEAKK VRRRR*

Moon jolted in his seat and looked down at his stomach. That noise could only mean one thing; his body needed more fuel. He remembered that he had fallen asleep before starting his shift, meaning he didn’t give himself a chance to eat.

‘Shit, it’s been over twelve hours…’ Moon thought, slowly panicking, he checked to make sure no one had woken up. ‘...That’s way louder in the silence, the kids are gonna wake up from that for sure…What do I do?...’

He knew the snack corner had been cleared of everything edible, so there wasn’t anything in the vicinity he could eat to stop the noise. Sun had also stepped out of the daycare, so it wasn’t like he could call on him to take over his shift so he could grab something to eat. And with the daycare guards away on surveillance duty through the pizzaplex, he couldn’t ask them for help either. He was at an impasse.

*WHIIRRR CLICK CLICK CREEAAKK*

‘S-Shut up, shut up!’ Moon shushed, holding his stomach tight to try and muffle the noise. ‘I… I gotta make this quick, one snack, in and out…’

Despite knowing he wasn’t supposed to leave his shift to go and eat unless it was an emergency, he felt with the risk of waking the children up, he had no choice. He remembered the security guards had a staff canteen just upstairs from the daycare, if he was going to find food quickly, that would be the first place to check. He slowly got up from his criss-cross and evaluated the walking space in front of him. The children were sprawled out everywhere, leaving little spaces in between them to step. Since he had given Sun his fly rig to travel out of the daycare, he would have to traverse to the exit by foot. Starting with his right foot, he tested the waters of how quiet he could tiptoe around the kids without them stirring, his wrist bells kept in a tight grip in his hands to avoid adding any additional noise. Moon could tell it was harder to keep up his tiptoeing for a long time, having to pause each time he passed about three kids. With his sudden lack of energy, Moon’s night vision was also affected slightly, making it difficult for him to see where any of the noisemaker barrels were stacked. He managed to pass by most of them without knocking them over, but one stack in particular he didn’t see in the dark, and the top piece of the barrel tower suddenly fell towards the floor.

‘-Shit!’ Moon panicked, quickly grabbing the barrel before it could make a sound.

He held still in his sudden lean, realizing that he was standing between someone sleeping and a noisemaker barrel tower. He was also quite low to the floor, just inches away from falling on top of a child. Making sure to maintain his balance, he slowly lifted one leg up and changed his direction towards the tower, placing the barrel back on top. He shifted his center of gravity now that he had let go of the barrel, and made his way back into a more stable standing up position without stepping on the child. Moon took a deep breath of relief that he managed to pull that trick off, especially with his lower energy.

“WHIIIRRRR CREEAAKK VVVVVVRRRRRRRRR*

Moon had waited to eat for too long, and his body’s noise had kicked up a notch from creaking to vibrating.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!...” Moon whispered and jolted as he held his stomach tight, quickly tiptoeing past the last of the children and finally reaching the door.

“Whew, made it…” Moon sighed in relief, slipping through and leaning against the other side of the door, taking a moment to recuperate. “Okay, five minutes, in and out…”

Moon made his way upstairs towards the staff canteen and looked around. It wasn’t anything fancy compared to the rest of the Pizzaplex, just one wall with cabinets and a few tables and chairs. The walls and floors were pretty plain, just beige coloring and a dirty carpet. He checked the cabinets first, nothing inside them but plastic cutlery, paper plates, and napkins. Moon scoffed at the Pizzaplex’s cheap setup they had for the staff, and couldn't even bother providing them with proper silverware. He then checked the freezer, on the top shelf he noticed a box of Fazbear-brand pizza pocketsTM with a sticky note attached to the lid that had ‘Kevin’ written on it. The note also read ‘DO NOT TAKE!’, it was clear whoever this Kevin was, it wasn’t the first time he had to write a note like this. Moon was hesitant to grab a couple pizza pockets from the box, seeing as how they clearly belonged to someone, but soon the return of the uncomfortable grinding in his stomach convinced him otherwise.

“Hrmm… I’m sure Kevin won’t mind if just a couple of these pizza pockets went missing~” Moon snickered, opening the packets and placing the pizza pockets on a paper plate. “Besides, it’s an emergency, and finders keepers!”

Moon placed the plate in the microwave and set it for two minutes according to the heating instructions; if it’s quick to cook, it’s quick to eat. He hungrily eyed the pizza pockets as they spun slowly on the glass disc, steam fogging up the window. Once they finished cooking, he took them out and gave one of them a taste, not even waiting for them to cool down. It was quite salty and artificially flavored, but he was in no position to complain. It filled the space inside him and gave him the energy boost he needed, that’s what mattered.

“Mmmm… Finally, trying something salty…” he softly moaned in pleasure, slowly chewing the food and indulging the savory flavors coating his newly installed tongue.

. . .

“Moondrop!? What are you doing here!?” Sun quietly yelled from across the canteen. “You left your shift to eat!?”

“...Umm, yeah. And?” Moon shrugged, gulping down his first bite.

“We’re not supposed to do that, Moon! It’s my time to be eating right now while you’re doing your duty with the kids!” Sun explained harshly, wagging his finger at Moon.

“Oh yeah, is it now?” Moon smirked, eyeing Sun up and down, noticing how sparkly he was. “And what exactly did YOU eat for your meal tonight then, hmm?”

“I-I… U-Uhh…” Sun twiddled his thumbs, realizing he had been caught.

. . .

“...G-Glitter glue…”

“As I expected, you can’t stick to the rules either!” Moon chuckled, taking another bite.

“Y-Yes I can! I-I just… I n-needed to know why I shouldn’t eat it!” Sun stuttered.

“You can’t eat glue, Sun. It’s gonna clog up your circuits, and there’s no calories in it anyway for you to fuel with.” Moon reminded him, holding out his plate to him. “Here, have one of these pizza pockets instead.”

“What!? I’m not gonna eat one of those greasy pockets of junk food!” Sun pouted. “How are we supposed to be good examples to the kids if you’re eating that slop!?”

Moon shrugged.

“...Fine, I’m going to watch the children if you won’t right now!” Sun yelled, and began to walk away.

“Ohh, so you’re JUST fine with working tomorrow on an empty stomach?” Moon twirled his head and deviously smiled. “There’s nothing to eat here but these… Very well, don’t say I didn’t warn you. But trust me, that glitter glue isn’t going to stop that grinding noise…”

“I’m perfectly fine where I-” Sun turned around and started his backtalk, but was interrupted.

*CLICK CREEAAKK WHIIRRR*

. . .

“Gimme that pizza pocket.” Sun grumbled and blushed, grabbing the pizza pocket from Moon’s plate.

“That’s what I thought~” Moon chuckled.

Sun gave the pizza pocket a squish and a lick before taking a big bite out of it. Moon watched as his friend seemed to be struggling to chew his food this time. He finished up his pizza pocket and threw the plate away, leaning against the counter and waiting for Sun to finish as well. Once he was done chewing the big bite he took, he tried to swallow the mouthful he had, but something was very wrong. The glitter glue he had consumed earlier had dried and hardened in his throat, causing a major blockage. Sun swallowed harder to try and get it down, but the glue or the food wasn’t budging.

“Uhh, Sun… You okay?” Moon asked, getting up from leaning on the counter.

“Nrghh, ack-! Gack!” Sun gagged, grabbing at his throat. “-ACK -HELP!”

“-Oh shit, you’re choking! Hold on, don’t panic!” Moon yelled, not even attempting to be quiet.

He ran behind Sun and wrapped his arms around Sun’s chest, swiftly pressing his arms inward to give him the Heimlich. Sun coughed violently with each squeeze, his head throwing back and forth as he tried to expel the contents in his throat. Their episode’s volume level had reached the daycare, causing some of the children to stir from their rest. Without Moon down there to reassure that everything was okay, some of the kids grew frightened at the sounds of Sun choking and began to cry. The night guards were quickly alerted to the situation when one of the surveillance guards noticed neither Sun or Moon were in the daycare to soothe the crying children. One of them ran down to supervise the daycare center while another ran to where the choking noises were coming from.

“-C’mon -Sun! -Breathe! -Don’t -you -break -on -me!” Moon shouted, giving more forceful thrusts into Sun’s chest.

“-ACK! COUGH! HWARK!” Sun gagged, finally coughing up everything that was stuck.

“Whew, thank goodness… There you go, easy now. Take some breaths…” Moon sighed in relief, rubbing Sun’s back.

“What the hell is going on in here!?” a voice yelled at them.

The guard looked into the canteen and saw Sun bent over and was dripping glue and pizza sauce from his mouth, as well as Moon breathing heavily from the sudden force he had to exert. The two of them turned to the exit to see the night guard standing in the doorway. Moon stepped back from Sun and gave him some space as he stepped closer to the night guard.

‘Ahh shit, we got caught…’ Moon thought as he groaned. “L-Look, we can explain-”

“Save it Moon, the two of you left those kids unattended! Do you know how serious this is!? Anything could’ve happened to them while you were gone! Especially in the dark, YOU’RE in charge of them right now Moon, you’re in some huge ass trouble…” the guard scolded them.

“Y-Yes, I know, w-we’re just not used to this update, and-”

“No excuses Moondrop, get your starry keister down there and DO YOUR JOB!” the guard growled, walking towards them and grabbing Sun’s wrist. “You’re coming with me to Parts and Service to fix your throat.”

“I-I’m sorry-” Sun rasped, stumbling as he followed them.

“Just shut up and move!” the guard interrupted and led them away to Parts and Service.

‘Dammit… Sorry Sun…’ Moon thought, feeling guilty about leaving his post and pushing Sun to do something that stupid which led him to needing a repair already.

He made his way back downstairs to the daycare where several children were waiting for him by the door with tears in their eyes and lots of questions for him to answer.

“You’re on your own, Moon.” The substitute daycare guard told him, stepping out of the room.

“Where were you!?” “Is Mr. Sun okay!?” “Did he die!?” “Why did you leave us!?” “I had a nightmare, Mr. Moon!” The kids all yelled at once.

“Children relax, Mr. Sun is alright, he just had…” He paused, trying to think of a valid, yet child-appropriate excuse. “...A stomachache, but he’ll be back in the morning to play with all of you when you wake back up…”

“I’m not tired!” “I can’t sleep now!” “I’m scared to go back to sleep!” “We want to see Mr. Sun!” The kids kept yelling.

Moon let out a tiring sigh, this was going to be a long night…

- - -

It had been three days since the night of the “Midnight Snack Incident”, Sun and Moon were better adjusted to their new eating schedule and made sure there was always something in their room to snack on to prevent another disaster like that from happening again. The Pizzaplex’s mailbox had filled up quite a bit with letters from complaining parents about their children’s sudden grouchy behavior the night after the incident, and several of them having nightmares about the daycare attendants dying days later. While Human Resources dealt with the parent’s concerns, the Parts and Services team spoke to Sun and Moon on their break.

“Look, most of these cases we can just sweep under the rug, okay? But we can’t have another situation like this again, especially with the repeat kids having nightmares during their sleepovers here. Have the repairs to your throat been working, Sun?” the technician asked.

“Yeah, I-I think so…” Sun replied, rubbing his newly replaced, yet still sore neck.

“And Moon, you’ve been keeping up on your reminders to eat?” they questioned.

“Yes, my internal clock AND my watch are set to go off an hour early indefinitely…” Moon grumbled, rolling his eyes.

“Good, now as an extra precaution, we’re allowing you two to have a mini fridge and a snack basket in your room to keep any food you may need so you don’t need to leave the daycare, as well as a portable manual charger as a last ditch effort to keep you going when you’re on shift. It’s not very efficient at charging, but it’s silent and should buy you two some time to reunite and take over if one needs to eat, okay?” the tech explained. “It’s going to take the Pizzaplex some time to get back up to a power level we can work with, so this charging restriction is only temporary. Once we’re back up to a more stable level, you may use the charger more, so try and make the most out of this upgrade.”

“Yes sir…” Sun and Moon begrudgingly nodded.

“Alright, back to your room. We’ll take care of the parent’s complaints before they drop their children off tomorrow morning for you.” the tech ordered.

“Okay…” the two of them sighed, and got up to leave the room.

“Oh, and Sun?” the tech prompted.

“Yes?” Sun wondered, turning back to them before he was about to exit through the door.

“NO. MORE. GLITTER GLUE.”

[heretherebedork]

you’re absolutely right !! and i also read your siu muk’s regret post and DAMN that part about how he lost everything when he could’ve had everything now? dude that broke me more than the show itself. thanks francis HAHAH i’m deep in my feels now :( but i have to agree with that. he said he was just trying to protect himself from heartbreak but like we said, completely disregards Tin’s feelings and in doing so he creates a void that Tin craves to fill and how convenient it is that KK is Right There for him! i hope they finish the KK/Tin plotline early on in the episode (slim chance seeing Muk yell to the sea) and spend more time with Tin & Muk’s story. And also do a non-comedy kiss :3

CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE EP 15 TRAILER TOO!!! when he suggested to talk at the bridge and then it’s a sped up clip of people walking by?? i don’t wanna spiral into what’s taking Tin so long to meet him but i sure as HECK hope they meet because wtf. it’s not too late to back out or at least confess their feelinfs :( and siu muk’s expression while waiting caused sm heart break. he did this to himself but you really just can’t help but empathise with him yeah? i think Tin just needs a wake up call because my guys a bit slow w emotions innit HAHA

and dw! lmk if you want me to tell you what happens in the live. it’ll probably just be the actors goofing around and not a lot of actual extra content. i’ll take what i can though 💀

I'm so glad to have broken you heart all over again. That post is probably my favorite Ossan's Love post I've made because, yeah, there's so much to analyze there. Siu Muk was fully prepared to give Tin up for the future his family saw for him (A wife, kids, a traditional family) but when he's presented with Tin still picking a man he's suddenly left with the knowledge that he gave up everything only to get none of the satisfaction he was expecting for 'helping' Tin. So, yeah, that was heartbreaking but also satisfying in a way. Siu Muk needed that to realize that what he did was a mistake.

I did not see the trailer on my version of the episode, sadly! But the descriptions hits me in the gut. I'm willing to bet, though, that whatever keeps Tin away is either Very Funny or somehow KK being manipulative. They are still a comedy, after all, and we know Tin still loves Siu Muk. Hooo, today is gonna be painful. And I have SO MANY SHOWS today, oooof. But I also cannot wait, no denials. I want to see their happy ending. I want to see their love and their affection and their future, seriously.

I would be happy to hear the update if anything happens or if you think it'd be amusing enough to watch without any subtitles as well. I'm open to being easily amused, tbh, though Frigays are so busy for me at this point. Cannot wait until after work (+about two hours) to watch the finale illegally uploaded on youtube. I cannot wait. I need to see this ending. I need a happy ending and I need some fluff before the credits roll, please.

[im-the-king-of-the-ocean]

Coming Home

I recognize that the finale will probably give us an entirely different plot line with Eda, but I have A LOT OF EMOTIONS ABOUT THAT LAST EPISODE OKAY, and needed to write something, so here we are.

Or Eda’s perspective of being trapped by her curse, and then getting out.

.

Eda always knew, if she became the owl beast permanently, whatever would be left of her would be trapped in the gray mindscape she tends to visit when the curse overpowers her.  What she didn’t know, up to now, was how boring it would be.  She’s just sort of here, wherever here is.  Sure, it’s most likely her mind, but it irks Eda that her mind is this dull, though.  She’d think she’d have a lot more interesting things going on in here.  At least before she’d had the recurring memory of when she was cursed.  Even that isn’t coming to her now.  Not that Eda wants to think about it, about Lilith.  She just…she wants something.

Something to ground her in this endless gray.  Eda can ‘walk’ in any direction and feel like she’s going somewhere and nowhere at the same time.  She can look at her hand and consider it both close to her and far away.  Eda’s perception of reality is skewed, warped.  She’s both conscious and not.  She hates this feeling.  Having enough awareness to know she still exists, but not enough to truly be anything.

Eda is fading away.  She knows this in a calm, accepting sort of way her old self, the one who existed back in the physical world, would never tolerate.  If she’s anything right now, it’s merely a phantom projection of that self.  The last vestiges that refuse to let go before the curse consumes every corner of her mind and Eda as she was is finally no more.

She’s not really Eda anymore anyway, is she?  Not Edalyn Clawthorne.  Not the Owl Lady.  Not anything.  Just a ghost, a lingering memory.  Will the owl beast remember her?  Doubtful.  She never had any awareness of what the beast did when it was in control—only the terror of those who witnessed its carnage afterwards.  The memories of fearful faces of former friends comes back to her for a brief second.  A moment to be sad, and a little relieved.  No one will mourn her.  After all, there were reasons she lived alone in a secluded house in the woods.

The thought that that’s not quite right struggles for her drifting attention.  The details are blurred shapes she can’t quite focus on long enough to recall.

There had been a reason for all this, hadn’t there?  A strong emotion for something—someone?—outside herself.  She can’t describe it, but she knows it.  There was something and, whatever it was, it drove her to pushing beyond the breaking point, to where the curse could fully exert its control.

She doesn’t regret it, is what she assumes her last cognizant thought will be.  Even though this is her fate, she doesn’t feel remorse.  Whoever it was, was too important to her.

It’s comforting, in this final moment, to know she had something worth sacrificing everything for.

Hooo.

And then there’s an owl.  Sitting on her knee.  A vibrant splash of brown and gold disrupting the endless gray monochrome.  Her focus is caught on it, stuck on the only thing that can differentiate itself from the miasma.

Hooo.

The owl spreads its wings.  Small, cute, familiar.  She can’t place how, but she knows the little creature.  It circles around her once, twice, and then starts flying in a direction.  Entranced, she follows it.  This time, when she walks, she feels like she’s going toward something.

She arrives at a door.  Its details blur and meander, but eventually settle into a design.  Soft wooden features.  What looks like two spy holes over the backside of an owl—owls seems to be a recurring thing now.  Vaguely she wonders why.  It feels important, that there are owls.

There’s a long door handle.  She looks at it, blinks at it, and then realizes she can reach out and take hold of it.  She does.  It feels heavy.  So heavy.  Impossibly heavy.

The owl that led her here—Owlbert—coos comfortingly in her ear.  She can do this.  It’s just a door.  She can open it.  She’s opened lots of doors before, hasn’t she?

She pulls.  The door resists.  She pulls harder.  The door doesn’t budge.  She wraps both hands on the handle, hopes they don’t pop off as they occasionally do, and yanks.  The door jerks open.  She’s sucked beyond, plunged into an abyssal unknown.

.

“HOOT HOOT!  HEY EDA, YOU’RE BACK!!!”

The sky is above her.  Her head throbs with the worst imaginable headache.  Hooty is yelling obnoxiously.  Eda groans.  She’s going to lie here, wherever ‘here’ is, for the rest of her life.  Everything hurts.

“Eda!”  She’s being squeezed.  A set of arms wrapped too tightly around her.  A body pressed against her own.  Soft, muffled sobs soaking her tattered dress.  “I thought…I thought…” Luz clings to her, as if letting her go will mean Eda will slip away again.

It takes Eda’s brain some time to catch up.  She’s out.  She’s not sure how exactly, but she’s escaped her mind.  Either that, or this is the afterlife, but if this were the afterlife, Luz wouldn’t be crying.  Granted, it seems to be a relieved, joyful sort of crying, but still.  Eda wants no part of any afterlife that causes her apprentice to cry.

“Uughghgh…” Eda’s first attempt to vocalize start and end with her jaw forgetting how its supposed to function.  She moves her mouth around, adjusting to the feeling of having a defined, physical presence again, and then tries speaking a second time.  “W—what happened?”

Luz relaxes her tight hold on Eda, sits back, and looks up into the Owl Lady’s face.  She wipes tears out of her eyes.  “We rescued you and Owlbert, but we couldn’t get you to turn back.  Then Owlbert went and got the Bat Queen.”  Luz gestures to where the massive demon is watching them from a distance.  “They did a palisman magic thing and went in your head I think?  I’m not sure.  Then you changed back.”

“Oh,” is all Eda can say.

“Curse is not gone for good,” The Bat Queen speaks up.  “More must be done to prevent it from coming back.”  She pauses and dips her head in a slight bow.  “But help I am willing to give to Owl Lady.”

Eda nods.  She’s having trouble keeping up.  Words of her own will have to wait.

“Hey, Luz, I got the blankets.  Do you think she’ll want some twigs too?  You know, cause she sleeps in a nest and if she’s stuck like—EDDDDAAAA!”  King drops everything he’s carried out of the house, charges forward, ducks under one of Luz’s arms, and slams into Eda.  His tiny limbs can’t fully wrap around her, but he holds her tight regardless.  “I—Luz was so worried you wouldn’t be back this time!”  He buries his face against her stomach, careful to keep his horns pointed away.

Eda wraps one arm around King.  The other she uses to draw Luz back in closer.  She hugs them both tightly.  They’re real and present and solid, and she’s here with them.  Owlbert lands on her shoulder and nestles against her neck.  Hooty stretches down, squirming his way into group embrace where he can.

“Thank you,” Eda whispers, “for bringing me home.”

For being my home.

[pikemoreno]

favorite writers on here?

alright alright, this’ll be fun and a long, long list. first off:

star wars characters

@tintinwrites- the best poe fics. i love everything of caitlin’s i’ve ever read. i have a terrible attention span for long series sometimes but hers are so easy to get into and just never stop reading??

@starryeyedstories- amazing poe and cassian fics. the fluff always makes my heart soarrrrr. such a natural at fluffy goodness.

@poeticandors- also really really nice poe and cassian fics!! (also writes for other characters but those are just the ones i’ve read) v good! i remember ‘didn’t mean it’ in particular? it breaks your heart and then puts it right back together

@beskars- hooo boy. one of the very few obi wan writers and woooow. *chefs kiss* love me some of elisha’s obi. but we all already be knowin elisha’s writing is quality.

@no-droids *screams* their din, cassian, and obi-wan are all EXCEPTIONAL i try not to put a lot of gratuitous smut on my blog so that’s why i haven’t commented on every single thing but like... this is THE STUFF. right here. sucks you right in.

@acomplicatedprofession- so, yes, lari IS a p*dro character writer, really. B U T. her cassian fic is one of the best fics my eyes have consumed. it’s cute and saucy and i’m in looove with it. 

p*dro characters

@rzrcrst- i’ve read a lot of kenzie’s one shots (mostly binged- need to go back and leave lots of juicy comments because i didn’t before like a terrible human) and they’re just chef’s kisses everywhereee. but her crowning jewel, sanctuary, is on my reading list and i can’t wait to read it.

@mandadoration- i made it through all her whiskey fics when i was on a whiskey kick a bit ago and hooooooo. i could read ‘you’re a fine girl’ 100 times and never get sick of it. looking forward to binging all the delicious mando content as well soon!

@longitud-de-onda- camila is just a gorgerous gem PERIOD. but her writing is so gorgeous and riveting. they’re all such wonderful studies of character and personality and what makes people tick.

@hopelikethesun- now... i do not search out javi fics generally. i love me some javi but eh he’s just not generally my first choice of fic for some reason. but mtmf is one of the few exceptions. it’s beautiful, it really is. 

@spacegayofficial - the headcanons are so fabulous, for one. but the first thing i think about with tori is their max phillips fics? they’re so good. one of the only people i’ve seen write max (and be AMAZING at it btw. that one fic... yanno that one... like i said before, i try to not reblog gratuitous smut to my blog so i need you to know now: that fic awakened something kind of terrifying in me.)

@madadlorian- i walked into a gilded lie a max lord hater and will i still probs hate canon lord? yeah. but am i in unashamed love with amber’s version? 100% (also really love ‘if you don’t love me now’ btw. i’ve read it multiple times)

@lesqui- les writes right from the soul. it’s all just beautiful and poetic. ‘m in love with les AND les’s writing.

@catfishingmorales- THE RANGER!VERSE. that’s all i can say. the ranger!verse is one of the best, most wholesome things on this godforsaken site. casualties made me feel things. i could read it another 50 times easily.

@hdlynnslibrary- jUST POSTED A NEW FIC AND I’M EXCITED. her writing is as sweet and lovely as she is. 

@secretpajamas wrote MARCUS PIKE smut like a BOSS. one of the few times i allowed gratuitous smut to be reblogged onto my blog. AHHHHHH. i’ve read it three times.

@keeper0fthestars- lovely lovely lovely person who writes an even lovelier frankie. SO SO good and real and perfect.

@marcusplke- my kindred spirit in writing for good ol’ pike. *squee* so nice. it broke me and i loved it

@softpedropascal- pragma is one of the series i’m reading that i’m most excited to see updates for. it’s gorgeous. so gorgeous. so complex and emotional. and NAILS frankie’s character.

@qveenbvtch i’ve read their shorter works/headcanon posts and WHEW BOY W H E W. it’s all so incredibly well written. exceptional. realllllyyyy excited to read funtimes in babylon soon. i’ve had my eye on it a while.

as a bonus:

on my list to read, so you should join me in reading them:

@dindjarindiaries - i’ve read her shorter things like headcanons yanno and they’re always sooo great, but i have molly’s masterlist on my list of things to binge and i’m very pumped about it. it all looks so good

@damerondjarin- loooove all the lil headcanons and things from taylor. a masterlist i’m reallllyyy excited to binge.

@murdermewithbooks- mmmmmm... i’ve read tidbits and i’m jazzed to read more!!!

@themandjalorian- *clappy hands* jeni’s reviews always get me amped to read other fics! amped to sit down and read hers too!!!

@sunshinepascal- is a sweetie!!!! i’ve read tidbits enough to know that i’m very excited to binge this masterlist

ALSO my tag /fic+rec has, well, fics i’ve recommended, in case i missed any here (don’t go past page like 10. it turns into a different fandom and i need to fix it)

[stray-tori]

An Innocent Sin & the good gay flashback ft. my descent into madness

I wasn’t sure if I should post this but I mostly want it archived so here we go. This is from like,, September?

So. “An Innocent Sin” is a dumpster fire unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I don’t remember why I decided to read it. maybe I was crazy. Either way... I read it. It soon started to touch upon (very very outlandish) sexual abuse which I thought was interesting. (the angst, not so much some of the wack circumstances surrounding it)

ANYWAY. at some point... we have a flashback. And not just that. It has a gay character.

And it turns rly gay. which mind you, is still in a het smut manwha (that has a “gay” side couple, but still!)

And it destroyed me.

For those who want to read it because I genuinely think the flashback is a decent bit, it’s all the bonus chapters between chapter 77 and 78 I think. There’s a part before that too, but idk where exactly anymore. (It’s on lezhin! or your platform of choosing)

I don’t THINK you’ll need any other knowledge to get the flashback bit? but it’s been a while.

Below the cut (rip mobile users), you can read all of my amazing reactions (all of these were text messages, for context - but I took most of the replies and convos about other things out). Post is also tagged as long post. :))

(i’m serious, this is fucking long)

__________

Here I am. Liking the gay flashback character. Feck. Main dude is still straight but idk it's cute pff

This is a mess. The girl white hair likes, likes black hair, maybe, but thinks white hair is attractive

What just happened is sth I'd like to know too pff He's so cute tho omg. Watch me melt Can we stay in this flashback before everything got perverted af and before white hair gets assaulted all the time I would send an eyebrow emote if I could Context: he's asking he says it again

Ik it's not mutual but loookkk he's so sweet. He's kinda rude in present time, can't we stay in this flashback forever

I never asked for gay, never expected gay but I got gay

This story is trash why am I still reading it shdhhd

He caught his mom cheating. And now she's forcing him to watch??? What is thissss Well adoptive mom But still sudhdidu what Bitch how dare YOU exist

Save my babyyyy

Yay sister that's not yet a rapist to the rescueee

This flashback is actually just nicer in every way let's just stay here This is a super long flashback btw Idek anymore what triggered it

Okay I think I'm gonna make the sensible decision and let this dumpster fire rest and just go sleep

It was very wild. I kinda wanna see white hair get therapy but it has 90 chapters and I'm at like 30... So I'm very concerned this is gonna be very dragged out. Idek if it's even finished ahahsududi - but I do kinda wanna see where it goes and see more cute Noah (white hair) so. Here we are.

yeahhh like i was down for the sexual abuse angst but then the mother killed the adoptive son's mother bc the dad had a thing for her?? and it was someone a person studying with white hair knew and so he's investigating and I'm like how did this turn into a crime organisation kind of plot

hhhhhhh i... i appreciate these horny things also tackling abuse but it always kind of gives me weird vibes to have both, especially when its very horny. And when people are horny to people who've been abused. Idk but I'd assume... you might try NOT to tie them up if they're frequently bondaged during their assaults. I'm just.... disjdksdj hello?? am i weird?? why are they fine with it???

also this manwha is so wild, theres this murder mystery investigation thing and then theres just a couple doing honry stuff sprinkled in between and i'm like OKAY

they rescued a guy in their basement and he's understandably very traumatized and they're trying to question him cut to our main couple trying bondage which i still dont understand bECAUSE HE'S A RAPE VICITM WHY ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS the ones questioning arent the main couple of course but idshkjds

like im glad he's somehow okay with all this horny stuff despite his trauma and im glad he can be happy and have a nice relationship but DO WE NEED THIS MUCH OF IT he's very cute tho

i like that even when i try other stuff lezhin recommends me it still has large amount of gay in it

[mei: i mean... that's pretty great, if you ask me]

I mean I agree, I'm enjoying the gay eheheh these tonal whiplashes there's not even that much white space between the panels fhjd nvm it just turned horny goddamn it can there be 1 chapter without fucking? okay, there were the flashbacks

WE ARE BACK IN FLASHBACKS but im not getting the gay relationship, sad

OH WAIT AM I GETTING GAY COMFORT bc thats very good too

OH NNOOO this turned sad very quickly

I'M SORRY IM SPAMMING BUT THIS IS JUST ANGSTY

I'M :((((

different species confirmed

I rly like them :((( I like the current girl too but it's just..... very horny with her. the flashbacks are nice [current tori edit: she’s very unloyal idk why i said I liked her] im weird HHHHH RIPPP 

someone help him he looks so saddddd

not sure if thats the most healthy relationship but I'LL TAKE IT

AWWW black hair's mom cooks mild food for them bc Noah can't eat spicy food :((( im soft

PFFF

I LOVE THE FLASHBACKS :(((

awww

i feel like theyve done much more bonding than noah's current relationship. I mean yes I think its cute when she comforts him, too, but they rarely do anything besides be horny together

OH OH THEY'RE KISSING

best buildup, honestly

the position is hornier than I'd like later here goes hope it stays cute

D-did someone just respect the word "stop"??? I am amazed

i think you might uh. have some trauma stuff too so yknow

Dohye is a little dramatic in his reassurance but it's all rly cute so I'm :(( I like them a lot pls stay like this getting invested in flashbacks is always like: ik it wont stay but pls stay like this

hELP

chapters ending in "i wanna touch him" is never good. I'm scared. Oh okay he didnt do anything. PHEW. He's already better than the girl, can't they just end up together lmao

[Noah was jealous]

w-why do you look so evil dohye haukdhjs

oh. oh no. the horny is starting. pls dont... just be cute forever

DOHYE NO YOU WERE SO DECENT WHY ARE YOU LYING ABOUT KOREAN TRADITIONS TO GET HIM TO DO STUFF HORNY STUFF TOO NO PLS STOP I JUST- WHEEE TvT the manwha is actually less visually horny in the flashbacks but im not sure if its bc its BL which isnt rly the genre of the manwha or if its bc they're still kids basically, which... I'd respect the latter, tho I'd prefer it to be like this constantly haha

okay. he's not respecting stop anymore, but it's also more of embarrassed nature more than "no i dont want this stop" so maybe i can forgive it. Still losing points, but he hugged him and it was sweet so HHHHHHHHHHH NOT SURE HOW I SHOULD JUDGE THIS SITUATION

They [Noah’s family] forbid him to visit his friends house I AM DEVASTATED

understandable they're a rapist, a fucked up murderer mother and a father with a thing for younger women so

tho he dont know any of that but yknow he's so pretty just fucking end me on the spot

hooo

they are boyfriends and ik from the future that his sister is gonna ruin it allll she has those drugs that make visual imaginations feel like they rly happened to the person (dont know if thats real but holy fuck its terrifying) and she's used it before to say that Noah assualted her. and im pretty sure shes gonna use it again bc there was a panel of Noah remembering Dohye being uhhhh intimate with her and thats why Noah began to hate him and im so sad im not ready for it. bc he's denied it in the future and i honestly couldnt see it happening even before that or she drugged Dohye, i guess thats a possibility too

[current tori: oh girl, it’s neither and it’s wack]

which if, btich you gonna die even more enough rambling, more reading. this makes me so sad but also spicy

on the manwha note, he thinks Noah doesnt like his family bc he's adopted and doesnt feel comfy which....... fair enough i suppose. and he's so cute im gonna melt just looK AT THIS 

SHUt UP, IM GONNA CRY

OH MY GODDDD he ate like ice and gum and all that, and Dohye assumed it was bc of the more spicy food and got rl worried, but he was just trying to get the smell out of his breath bc he wanted to kiss him ukhsdjs HOW CAN YOU BE SO CUTE HELLLOOOOOOOOO

look at them. LOOK AT mY BABIESSSS

how am i ever gonna care about the main couple again aww he-he wanted to go to the same highschool as him :((( im sad bc i know its not gonna happennnnnn

[mei: also at this point, you're literally never gonna care about them. i don't even know the main couple that well and i honestly don't care about them whatsoever.]

WAIT NO they're actually going to the same school awww ik it wont take long until sister fucks it up for them but for now theyre so sweet ohmygodddd

cant he move in with them, fuck his family honestly

dohye he's not a fucking pokemon iukhsdjs

oh. its. turning horny i am displeased with this development but i guess its natural for their relationship however COULD YOU DO IT AT HOME AND NOT IN SOME DUSTY SMALL ROOM how do ppl do this i like that the comments too are just "... is anyone still carng about the other girl?" sakjds

this is the best 3 panels in existence.

h-he just took your hand dohye idk what to tell you

[mei: "you blush at everything i do" god if that isn't me, idk what is]

awww its cute dohye is getting bonus points bc he invited Noah over while his mom wasnt home, they watched some sexual stuff and he DIDNT try to do anything what is this where can i get more of this

"well im not okay"

MY BABIESSSS 

they still didnt do much btw they're just kinda exploring and its honestly nice TvT I dont want this to ever endddd

[Dohye sees Noah’s sister and approaches her] N O

N OOOO

this is the starttttt of something.......... TERRIBLEEEE 

:((( babyyyy

I AM EMO

Noah was drugged im sure. hes having dreams and waking up in pain and the sister is asking doyhe over I DONT LIKE THISSSSSSS OH HE DECLINED

OKAY OKAY he saw him with her again but it was from behind and im not sure if it rly happened??? oh no this is terrible. Noah :((( poor child

i am so emo about this

[reminder he’s been abused TvT]

[the sister: “Don’t you want to know why?”]

i will. murder someone he called to ask her to delete his number btw what is this manwha but this is just gonna make it that more tragic when whatever happens that breaks them apart :(((

he's such a good bf but Noah just wont TELL him his side I'M SO SAD

I AM SO SAD

No

NO

It cant end im actually tearing up nooo you were so cuteeee and happpyyy

[*sister is telling dohye to come to the gym hall*]

what else is she gonna do she already teared [current tori: ahem... T O R E] them apart THAT'S NOT DOYhE. THATS NEVER HIM. OH MY GOD. is it a look alike??? damn, she's dedicated to just. ruining it, huh

I’M

I’M SO SAD

now he's switching SCHOOLS NO NOOOOO how will i ever find happiness againnnn NO they're misunderstanding further they're not talking properly i mean i get it but oh my god

I'M :((( 

NO NOOOO pls make up in the future at least omg he tried to clear it up tooo ahhh i dont even have hopes for them getting back together but i just i want them to clear it up im crying first manwha to make me cry and it's this dumpster fire ahaha maybe a little too bc it kinda hit a little close to home i guess but goddamnn ittttt they were so cuteee and so happy and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OH NO. Noahs getting drugged and assaulted. And he's realizing it happened before, he just forgot. I am. so sad it's not horny drawn either which i appreciate but MY HEART NO

N O DONT YOU DARE MAKE THIS WORSE

Im. gonna cry more 

Doyhe kept an eye on him im so emo :(( but he thought he was doing well enough and gave up.... Im im so sad no i want you to make up and get back together its all just a stupid........... MEHHHH will i ever find sth like this flashback again

[mei: p-probably not, no]

i am so devasted i dont even wanna go back to the main couple just fucking. i want this relationship back :(((( but i guess the investigation might end up somewhere so hhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhh the baker manwha had a similar flashback feeling so. i just gotta find more of that haha

BUT THIS WAS SO SAD??? im so emo

[Dohye got kidnapped // the flashback commentary stops here but I think my descend into madness is pretty funny too]

OH YEAH THAT HAPPENED. THE FLASHBACK WAS SO LONG I FORGOT. NOOOO SAVE HIM. JESUS CHRIST PLS JUST ONE GOOD THING

its. actually rly smart to have another, more focused on them flashback, before the arc where he gets kidnapped by the rapist murder household so. good job. from a meta perspective but also NO but also. maybe theres hope for them making up at least after all :(((

[main couple kissing] this is. very weird now. but im glad he has someone, he deserves it but dohyeeeee

and switching to sex, YET AGAIN now i wanna see this EVEN LESS THAN I DID BEFOREEEE it's even.... a threesome now with one of the other characters why are you like this why can't you be. like in the flashback i am so upset HAHHHHH WHEEEZEEEE

I am just stop fucking jesus christ PLEASE I DONT WANNA SEE IT ANYMOREEEEE

im just stop the horny pls just tell me who that new guy is and why doyhe likes him so much

[mei: this manwha is a fucking mess but at least we got your lovely commentary out of it]

dhsuksj thanks i feel honored at least i got cute BL out of it before everything went [back] to shit

[mei: THAT TOO]

[...]

tbh im getting kinda mad about doyhe... i dont... feel like he'd just fall instantly for a guy who looks like Noah... but eh not my character

i just want closure for dohye at this point, fuck everything else ... not literally pls theres already too much of that

pls get it together for like 1 chapter is the investigation even still happening i am so confused save dohye plEASE wait what i have less than 10 episodes left Dont tell me this shit isnt even wrapped up yet

[Dohye is having a breakdown over the Noah double not coming to see him anymore]

yeah i this... doesnt feel like Dohye... at all... Even when Noah was rejecting him he was just kind of... taking it with some humor and maybe he was a little desperate and risky sometimes but... oh well... i do want him to get better but... im having a hard time believeing this development??? he never seemed overly anxious or anything. but who knows what else they did to him. Sister can still go fuck off tho

[...]

i mean. i liked the flashbacks a lot honestly??? it stayed simple and focused on the dynamics and less trying to balance smut with murder plots

[dm partner: NO THAT'S WHAT I MEAN LIKE CLEARLY THE AUTHOR CAN MAKE A GOOD STORY SO I'M JUST... CONFUSED AS TO WHY THEY DIDN'T STICK WITH SOME SOFT, FLUFFY BL ROMANCE MANWHA AND DECIDED TO MAKE WHATEVER THIS IS INSTEAD ]

okay i dont care bc dohye is currently getting assaulted nobody asked for this why i just. this is terrible. he was... so sweet. he doesnt deserve this. nobody does of course but jesus christ pls someone save him at least its not horny visually, one saving grace

ah... the assult is back to being depicted horny-ly thank you for nothing

[... removed some general confusion about the plot]

YES. SOME SHIP FOOD.

i am. suffering i mean i cant stop but GOD

okay so apparantly. the sister. has just an arsenal of people who look like other people Dohye, then Noah... and even Noah's GF??? this is ridiculous??

one good message 

why 

did you feel the need to add that [actual tired rage]

im gonna die this manwha is gonna kill me im laughing but im suffering oh hes arrested great and thats the end and the last update was in january of this year

why AS IN NOAH IS ARRESTED nobody who actually did anything is arrested What is this why is this AHHH I at least wanted the complete-ness of finishing this but now I'M JUST SUFFERING

[ mei: I MEAN TO BE FAIR I'D BE SUFFERING TOO BC JUST... WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE?? MANY QUESTIONS?? AND MANY CONCERNS BC THIS MANWHA IS JUST... AN EXPERIENCE ]

its an experience allright WELL

_______________

yup that’s it.

in my head, in a twist of events Dohye and Noah make up and are actual endgame. Something like that must exist out there but I won’t ask because it’d destroy the surprise and ruin the point.

That’s it.

Have a nice day.

[tendercoretroglodyke]

very very very burnt out today like hooo boy I thought i was burned out last night?? that was NOTHING compared to today 😩

fully just like lost any ability to hold a thought, regulate emotions, talk... my friend kept like asking me questions re:apartment hunting and I could just mumble out some word jumble that barely made sense cos my speech just like stopped working ig??

when we got back to the hotel I collapsed on the bed and eventually worked up the energy to message the last realtor canceling our tour cos we just Could Not but he was being pushy about it and I had to speak to him On The Phone and that. that was the point that pushed me over my limit. I can't explain it without sounding crazy but the act of having to put on my Big Girl Voice and talk to another professional even just to insist that no, we really don't wanna come see your shitty walk-up stop begging, when I was already on the brink of crying from being so tired n overwhelmed and COULDNT cry bc I was in a hotel room w two other ppl, that effort was just enough to push me over into. Ok I'm Shutting Down Now Try Again In a Few Days mode

just like. tired and headachey and waves of suicidal urges and just wishing I was alone and somewhere quiet and dark and away from people who need to talk about something. I feel crazy lol

(we all just napped and I feel a bit better now... but they're gonna wanna start talking about apartments again any minute now and I'm not rested enough for that tbh 🤕🤕🤕)

[murfeelee]

Alright, I’ve been talking about The Witcher TV show for months and months, and now I’ve FINALLY seen it.

I've skimmed through the books here and there, but really I’m a diehard fan of the video games, particularly The Witcher 3 (I’ve played TW1 and TW2 as well). Because of all the hype, attention and love the TW3 got over the years, with even Henry Cavill being a major fan of the video games, Netflix went and made this tv show, with Cavill as Geralt of Rivia, The Witcher.

MY THOUGHTS

It was GOOD! \(^0^)/ I really liked it!

Alright, don’t get excited, I think this show had some serious problems. But we’ll start with the good before getting to the bad and the ugly.

THE GOOD

THE ACTING

Everyone was top notch, and did a fantastic job. I freaking LOVE Grandma Calanthe, omg. I wanted more of her, and Mama Tissaia, and the different sorceresses (when Sodden started I was like hooo boy, I know how this goes; the finale is WORTH the price of admission, folks).

I even liked Eclipse-Princess (her name escapes me, my bad; I was calling her Arya 2.0 in my head). Don’t think I effing missed how they threw in a nod to the Eclipse Princess from Blood & Wine; that was awesome, featuring the Black Sun “curse” again.

I already knew I was gonna HAVE to tune in to see Yennefer’s story, and it was every bit as superb as I suspected it would be. Dare I say it was THE most interesting story arc of the three? Caught me tearing up a few times. I still don’t see book/game/Polish Yennefer with her, but she did a GREAT job, nonetheless--her emotions and delivery and everything was excellent.

She sounds so dang young though, which throws me off with the timeline, cuz when exactly does Yenn’s story take place in all of this? It’s hard to match her with the more...well....matronly/mature persona we’re more familiar with in the games. But I guess she develops that over time, after getting to raise Ciri. Though this does put in better perspective why she was so mean to Ciri at first, calling her ugly and everything. She wanted a child so badly, and Geralt just...gets one by surprise, and she was feeling bitter, I see it now.

THE ACTION

And I gotta give it to Cavill. Boy can MOVE. My favorite moments with Cavill were when he was sword fighting; whoever choreographed all that needs a frikkin award. I imagined the Butcher of Blaviken just tearing up mofos, and that’s exactly what we got. And he was WERKING them pants! XD

Except we never really saw my favorite sign, Igni. Oh well. And I hate that he doesn’t have cat eyes. And the Toxicity ISTG makes him look like a vampire and makes no effing sense, but whatevs.

And sometimes he was sounding WAY too Batman or demonic with this really deep and gravelly voice -- I appreciate that he was trying to give us that gruff and sandpaper dry video game Geralt, but when they’d make him yell or be mad I was like JFC NOT TODAY SATAN. But an attempt was made, and I appreciate it. ^_^ He was fine for the most part. More than fine, even. As I said, the acting & action was great, and they played to Cavill’s strengths.

THE SPECIAL EFFECTS

I also thought the CGI was fine--not the best, no, but I’ve seen way worse in shows with bigger budgets. The dragons...eh.... And that kikimore.... Well, I’m just remembering the Polish tv show, the Hexer--BIG improvement. Trust me. O_O The practical effects were excellent. Even though they messed around A LOT with the Striga plot from TW1, and what it looked like, I did like that they stayed pretty faithful to the fight. 

THE STORIES & CHARACTERS

IMO, the best episode was E04, with Pavetta & Duny. It was just REALLY well done, and the one I was LEAST expecting. My favorite episode was E06, with the dragon, because of course. Reminded me of Hercules the Legendary Journeys, IDKY. The finale was really good, too; I love the sorceresses and all the magic. And E07 when all the plots and flashbacks come together was great.

And now for MY COMPLAINTS

THE BAD

#1) OMG WTF WAS UP WITH THE TIMELINE?

I feel BAD for anyone who’s watching this show fresh, who’s never played the games, read the books, seen the Polish Hexer tv show, played Gwent, or anything related to the Witcher world.

I was thrown off several times, as they shot from Ciri running for her life or Geralt fighting a Striga in the present time; to Yennefer learning magic in the past. Geralt & Dandelion go on adventures Shrek & Donkey style--I ASSUMED in the present, with the Sylvan, Djinn & Dragon, until an episode or two later they’re in Cintra together in the PAST, and Ciri’s not even born yet, and we’re seeing a drunk Ermion/Mousesack and young Crach an Craite (I squeed, my dad~!! His accent was on point!), and Ciri’s mom and grandma. (And WOW, the lady they got to play the mom looks just like the actress playing Ciri--are they related?)

And they do this over and over again over the episodes--present day with Ciri, eff knows when with Geralt or Yennefer. Especially since you know from the books/games that they’re both almost 100 years old. Yenn keeps throwing out “it’s been decades“ this and “years” that. But W H E N though!?!

I mean, I could follow along, sure, but they REALLY needed to make it clearer SOONER for people who have NO idea who TF these people or which kingdoms are which, that some things are happening YEARS apart from each other. Pay attention to how many times GoT shoved those maps of Westeros and Essos in our faces. Or how different shows use color filters for flashbacks or something. Properly situate the audience in time AND space--we’re not Cirilla, who can travel willy nilly between both. They bounced back and forward between past and present with the toss of a frikkin coin.

And speaking of coins...

#2) THE MUSIC WAS...Well.

Oh, Dandelion. XD

Anyone who knows me knows I fangirl HARD over the Witcher video game OSTs. And unfortunately, the music on the tv show was just...alright. :\ And for a franchise so closely connected to iconic music like the band Percival, it’s a crime against nature that the tv show never had a single track that made me go YES. Give it up for POLAND. The end credits song is okay, but I only started getting into it at like Episode 6, soooo... :\

And no, I didn’t like Toss A Coin to Your Witcher in this show. It didn’t sound like part of this medievalesque universe AT ALL, but something kinda pop/country, aimed at I don’t even know who. Sure, the dude playing Dandelion can sing. But so can Ed Sheeran, and when GoT got him to sing on the show, he sure AF didn’t bust out with the next Billboard Top 40 on us in the middle of nowhere.

#3) THE CHARACTER BONDING?

The acting was top notch...it was the plot/writing I didn’t like. Or rather, the relationships between the characters. I felt more for Yennefer & Istredd, and Geralt & Roach, and Ciri & the Elf boy (and her grandma), and even Pavetta & effing Duny/Emhyr (that royal piece of sh!te) than I did for any other characters on this whole show. And that’s a bit of a problem.

First off, I HATED how they made it seem that TEENAGED Ciri had no idea who TF Geralt was. TV Ciri’s gotta be what? 15? Geralt said something about it having been 12 years since Pavetta & Duny, but even that’s too old. Book!Ciri met Geralt IN the Brokilon or whatever forest with all the water drinking and the dryad queen and mess.

They were already obsessed with each other before the fall of Cintra even happened! Ciri was like 10 already when Geralt took Ciri to Kaer Morhen to start her Witcher training, but this girl on the show’s way older, and effing clueless. They don’t even meet til the final few SECONDS, wtf!! It’s just Destiny~! Destiny~! Child of Surprise, but we never even have a scene together~! Destiny~!

Speaking of children, we have Yennefer and Geralt, which was better, but again, WOAH with the pacing. I felt effing BAD for Istredd! :( I don’t really GET why Geralt & Yenn fell so hard for each other; I don’t really feel that connection. Geralt had just as much bonding time with that eclipse-princess! They only had the Djinn episode, really, and by the end of the Dragon episode it was already over!

I mean, yeah, in the books/game they have A LOT of ups and downs, but come on; we’ve already wasted so much time on Geralt & Triss (that homewrecking wench, I’m glad her airtime was minimal), and I just want more BAMF battle couple parents Geralt & Yenn raising Ciri already! >_<

Same with Geralt & Dandelion. Geralt’s kinda mean to him, which is fair; Geralt hates everyone. But I don’t feel where they’re friends at all, and they part at the end of the season on NOT great terms. I kinda feel Geralt doesn’t really like Dandelion at all. :( Even with the whole comedic relief Shrek schtick,

THE UGLY

#4) THE LENGTH

I dunno what’s up with all the 8 episode miniseries lately (GoT, Mandalorian, Witcher, etc), but it REALLY isn’t enough to really flesh out a story. Especially not one as convoluted as The Witcher, AKA the GoT of Poland.

Again, I REALLY feel for the casuals watching, who probably don’t know what the Conjunction of Spheres Istredd keeps referring to is, or what exactly a Witcher is, or why Ciri’s so dang special -- was Lara Dorren or the Elder Blood ever even MENTIONED???

We know Yenn’s got elf blood, but it’s waaaay more than that with Ciri -- though I don’t think they mentioned her elf blood, either, just that Calanthe’s grandmother or someone had their Banshee powers before Pavetta & Ciri.

BTW, wtf with Ermion/Mousesack? That’s gotta be a red herring or something. Cuz we know this dude’s old AF and thriving in Skellige, sooo....? TF. Why the Doppler? Why?

TBH this felt like Season 1A, if anything. I don’t feel the plot really progressed much at all, other than us getting Yennefer’s story. Ciri & Geralt finally meet (cliffhanger supreme right there), but jfc this felt like a prequel -- so much of the season was dedicated to backtracking us in a roundabout way up to the fall of Cintra, then skipping ahead to the Battle at Sodden Hill.

And why the heck did they wait so long to get to get to Vigelfortz!? That’s what I was sitting here WAITING for! You mean I gotta wait for Season TWO to see my Hanse in full force!? :( URGH. Reeeeeeeegiiiiiiiis~! :(

Maybe cut out some of the unnecessary nudity every frikkin where and tell the full frikkin story, hmm? (Yenn’s boobs look great, we got it the first 5 times. Meanwhile these cowards won’t even have a dude’s left testicle be shown on screen, but whatever.)

So yeah, those are my 4 biggest complaints.

Well, and that wig’s hard AF hair line, jfc.(I was DYING during the Pavetta & Duny scene, when Cavill was holding on to that wig for dear life. XD XD)

Otherwise, I really liked the show! B+!

[whichcouldmeannothing]

spiderman stenbrough snippet

hello i wanted to write smth and im not sure if i should make an actual fic so i hope y’all like this ! enjoy !

—

Bill was usually a very cautious guy.

He kind of had to, being Spider-Man and all.

Of course, he’s only human so he can make mistakes.

So, naturally, the mistake he makes is forgetting he has a stab wound.

He wore extra layers in school, excused himself from PE with a stomachache and generally prevented most situations where he had to shift a lot.

But that wasn’t enough.

Leave him to slip up in front of Stanley Uris.

“Bill, can you grab that book? Top shelf there, that human body book.”  He called his place from his desk. Bill rolled his eyes, but made his way to the shelf.

“You know, th-there’s this fu-fun invention called legs, Stan.” Stanley swiveled in his chair. Bill stretched to reach the book.

“Yeah, but what’s the po- Bill, what the hell?” Bill scrunched his eyebrows in confusion and then looked down to his midsection. Ah fuck.

He immediately went down and stared back with wide eyes, blush spreading over his face. Before he can even force out a low key lie, Stan was already making his way to Bill, worry written all over his face. Bill stepped back and back until he hit the wall. Stan let out a sigh and placed a hand on Bill’s shoulder. He dropped down and raised the hem of Bill’s sweater and shirt and gasped. Bill looked to the ceiling, lips pursed, hoping and praying his best friend wouldn’t kick his ass for this.

“How did this happen, Bill?” Okay, okay, Bill was a writer in AP English, he could so lie about this. Just keep it believable. Deep breath. Hooo.

“I w-wuh-was at that conve-conv- fuck - that 7-11 near schools and I got m-mugged.”

Well, he was actually preventing someone from getting mugged but that’s close to the truth. Close enough.

“And they stabbed you?” Stan’s voice was raising and God, Bill hoped Stan’s dad couldn’t hear this right now. Come on, brain, think of something. “Did you call the police?”

“Uh, Spider-Man was there, he w-we-webbed the guy up and b-brought him to the p-precinct.” Stan moved his hand away from Bill’s clothes. “And he let you get stabbed?”

Okay, maybe not the best way to phrase this, this is getting further away from what he means oh god

“He wa-was late.” Stan raised his eyebrows further and come on, Bill save this. “Buh-but that’s not his f-fa-fault!” Bill raised his hands. Stan closed his eyes and moved to his closet.

“Look Bill, Spider-Man’s whole thing is he doesn’t want people to get hurt, and he couldn’t even stop people trying to mug you and I don’t fucking know, stab you?”

“At least I’m not mugged, Stan -“

Stan kept digging in the drawers. “Bill, that’s not the point, - hell, where is it? - the point was he let you get stabbed. Your valuables aren’t more important than you. If he’s letting innocent people get hurt and stabbed, how can you trust them against bigger threats? He can’t be late then, can he?”

Bill looked down.

Stan was right.

How could people trust him if he couldn’t save everyone?

He was a superhero.

He was supposed to be super and a hero and save everyone. He shouldn’t be slow, he shouldn’t fuck up.

He couldn’t let anyone get hurt.

Bill’s berating of himself probably was too obvious, because Stan stood up and faced him. “Everything okay there?”

“Y-yuh-yeah,” Bill tried to smile. He side-stepped from Stan and went to get his stuff.

“I h-have to go, mom wants me home early.” Bill lied. Stan stared at him quizzically. “I’ll call you l-la-later, bye.” Bill went out of the room and ran down the stairs. Before he left, he paused in front of the door. “Bye Stanley!” He called.

Stan ran to the top of the stairs. “Bye, Bill.”

Bill gave him a small smile and practically ran out of the house.

Bill never called that night.

—

When Bill fell asleep for the sixth time in first period, Richie sitting behind him poked him awake. “Dude, what’s up? Usually, you’re like the only one taking notes in this class.” He turned around and stared at Richie’s concerned face.

“S-suh-sorry, j-ju-just tired.” He made quick eye contact with Mike a few tables to his left, but Richie didn’t notice it. Instead, he looked at him suspiciously and stroked his chin. “Sherlock Holmes will get down to the bottom of this, Denbrough.”

Bill let out a short laugh, turning back to the front of the class. As Bill picked up his pen and lazily copied what was being written on the board, he went through what happened last night and started scheming on how to make it completely normal.

As soon as he very suspiciously ran from Stan’s house, Stan’s words kept repeating in his head, spiraling and spiraling until his mind showed him images of Stan’s disgust if he found out Bill was Spider-Man. He could see the betrayal in his brown eyes, the hurt in his eyes as he expressed how rude it was that you didn’t tell me, Bill, why don’t you trust me?

Once he thought back on that, he realised that it was probably exaggerated by his anxiety and worry but at that time, it spurred Bill on to start patrol earlier. He went around Derry stopping crimes and muggings and robberies and assaults, all through the night.

Except for of course, for the really weird thing that happened at the end of the night.

Nearing one in the morning, Bill running low on energy but swinging his way to the end of town, where he could hang out at Mike’s farm, fix his suit  and improve it, get healed before sneaking back home.

But then something happened. He passed by the business district, so close to the farm when he heard something.

“Bill!”

He stopped, halting on the rooftop of the building beside Gray Industries. He leaned his head out, trying to hear out who was speaking and then -

“Billie!”

His breath caught in his throat.

Georgie.

It’s been five months since he’s heard that voice.

He immediately dropped down to the floor, looking out, hoping he wouldn’t start to break down. “Hello?”

“Bill, I’m stuck!” The tears and desperation were starting to leak into Georgie’s voice. Bill picked up his pace looking around for anywhere a small child could be stuck in.

That was when a yellow plastic coat caught his eye in a storm drain.

“Georgie.” The name left his mouth, quietly and so full of emotion. He ran to it peering his face into the dark, stank drain. He couldn’t see anything until -

“Hello, Spidey!” A white face poked in the drain and Bill jerked back into the road. He sat there, wondering what in the ever loving fuck was that when a car starts honking at him, its bright lights flashing. Bill moved quickly, shooting web-fluid up to get away from here.

When he got to Mike’s, he drank some water, took a breather -

If he’s letting innocent people get hurt, how can you trust him against bigger threats?

And then left a note and went back outside, grabbing a granola bar.

He got back at five, near three hours before he had to get ready for school.

The bell rang, jolting Bill back to attention, his pen being gripped tighter.

“Thank you class, and Mister Denbrough, maybe next time try to stay awake and pay attention.” The class that was pouring out of the class laughed lightly and Bill started to rush packing his things.

—

hope y’all like that haha have a nice day !

[alichay]

hi, i just want to say that it's fucking awful that someone would compliment you only to laugh at you. you don't deserve that kind of treatment, and i know that positive posts won't change the horrible experience you had. i hope you're okay, and that things can improve.

hooo boy i don’t want to get into That Trauma Lyf on a friday night but like

aside from spending actual years of childhood with people who pretended to be my friend and then bullied me ruthlessly (i’m talking from five up) for years (turns out! kids can gaslight someone To Fuck!), The Teen Years was, like, multiple crippling occasions of me taking to heart compliments/offers of dates and being humiliated in front of the whole school when i accepted them or said yes. i literally couldn’t give you an estimate of how frequently this happened

so like. i am not good with compliments. i consider myself fundamentally undesirable. and i loathe p much everything about my appearance bc i was bullied for all of it at some point. it takes a lot for me to believe that someone likes me and jumping forward to here & now i am really struggling w multiple relationships where it turns out i was just a source of emotional labour and the other person isn’t willing to do the same for me now that i’m in a horribly awful place.

(also i have seen a lot of posts about positivity on here lately and don’t get me wrong, if it works for you then i am ALL for it, but there’s also quite often an inherent “if you don’t take this message to heart then you are a TERRIBLE PERSON” message underlying them and, like. to suggest it’s just a lack of will to be positive on my part really rubs me up the wrong way. i don’t need to be guilted into the fact i’m not blissfully positive and on the cheery road to recovery; believe me, i’m doing that enough to myself already.)

[ask-them-bois]

🍁 what inspired you to write/create (specify muse) All??

hooo boy. buckle up, this is gonna take a minute. I’m gonna do this in the order of their creation.

Vornik. My inspiration was a 14 year old, closeted trans kid’s desperate attempt to gain control in his life by creating a character he could project on and relate to. I put everything i was into him. Wolf freak, artist, outcast, giant softy that be a monster if pushed too far- I poured myself into him. But he eventually became his own person as I moved on to accept myself and find new interests. He was my first ever fantroll, and he’ll always hold a special place in my heart, no matter how many more I make.

Makeno: Look, I don’t care what the fandom says. I fucking LOVE the Amporas, for all their flaws. So I took my favorite bits, mixed it in with a little originality, and boom. Made my bastard. He’s seadweller, sexy, flirty, emotional, and tries to protect himself with bullshit walls that instantly crumble thanks to goldbloods. Just like Amporas. But he’s also a chef, a compassionate person, and a pianist. I am also a giant shark nerd, so of course I had to add that in.

Corden: I am a slut for tragic backstories, and overcoming tragedies through found families and inner strength. I think Goldbloods have it the worst, so, it only seemed natural my (at the time) most tragic troll was a gold. I had a troll based off a land predator, and a sea predator, so I needed a sky. I chose the bumblee bat. While not a predator, it pays homage to Sollux and his bees, while still being original. Speaking of Sollux, i took Psiioniic’s story and thought ‘how can i make this sadder?’. And so his story was born. The ‘found family’ part comes from Makeno and later, Incoding.

The Innocent: Okay, let’s be honest, I rebranded the Signless. Pacifist, only trying to do what is right, illegal blood color- yeah. The Signless was... let’s just say he was important to younger me. I’ve had shitty male adult figures in my life, and i was desperate for any semi-decent man in my life. But, I didn’t want to completely rip off Signless, and his only original inspiration was ‘Vornik, but older’. So, more wolves! More kindness, more empathy, more adventure, and more tragedy.

Ruthless Deepbite: Dualscar, but... not. Fleet soldier, but no armor. Give him traditional soldier garb. A captain, but not a famous one. A soldier, but not an Orphaner. I thought, ‘if Makeno’s life hadn’t turned out how it is, how would it be?’. Ruthless was born, but he seemed... empty. He needed something. The part in Homestuck where Dualscar saved Delarosa from Mindfang had me w e a k. He needed a jadeblood. Not good enough. I want him to hurt. So I ripped her away. I saw what this sort of thing did to people, so I made him an alcoholic, too.

The Incoding: Corden 2.0. Make! It! Sadder! Take more limbs! Not just an arm, but his leg, eye, and part of his chest!! Make him suffer worse! Make him kill himself!! But he needed to be his own person, too. Make him a semi-lady’s man. Give him a fascination for bikes and a cyberpunk aesthetic. Make him a disaster. Ta-da, you got yourself an Incoding.

Gehero: I’m a capricorn! I love gamzee! I needed a clown! So I scrounged around in my head. What are more of my interests? Spiders? Yes, good! Uhh what else? Oh fuck swords! Samurai, and Japanese culture! CATS! Nature! Fuck it, throw it all together. What did we get? Cat loving spider samurai gardener. Hm... Could I add more? Yes. Give him ADHD, like me. Make him trans, like me. Fuck it, let’s make him a hermit, and consequently, dumb as hell. Boom, got ourselves a grade A himbo. Oh, but he needs a conflict in his backstory. How about daddy issues? I’ve been crippled with those, why not have the character that’s most like me have them, too.

The Hounding: All these guys had been pretty soft at this point, let’s be real. Yes, they can be badasses if they had to, but they weren’t savage, bloodthirsty freaks. And we’ve all got a side to ourselves like that, so, let me make that. Every regret, every angry thought, every transgression against myself, every negative experience and thought, I poured into him. Make him giant, to contain the rage. Make him like the Grand Highblood, but more soldier-y.

Note: It was at this point I realized, “Hey, I’ve got quite a few characters here. I bet I could make something out of this.” And so the blog and this whole story was brought into being. And I just kept coming up with more characters and angles to this story, and so the others were made and put together, including the ones i haven’t introduced.

Musrio: I needed to answer a question: Why are the ancestors back? How? Easy, what brings people back? A necromancer. All my characters had so far been based on deadly animals, so what’s another, that’s not a canine, bat, shark, or arachnid? uhhh frogs. Yes. Poison dart frogs are the deadliest amphibian in the world. That’ll work. From there came the poison obsession. From there, mushrooms. His name, translated, literally means “Mushroom (Musrio;latin) Death (Almawt;arabic)”. Okay, great, got a character. But what got him here? What drove him to this? Hm... I have ‘lover ripped away’, what if i did the oposite? ‘had to kill lover’? Boom, done. Love it.

The Decaying: I am a Skyrim fanatic. The Thieves Guild questline is my absolute favorite. I needed a character like that. Let’s make him a thief! No, a KING of thieves! Robin hood! Hm... I’m also a buzzfeed fan. I listen to it while playing skyrim. Hell, let’s merge them. he’s a conspiracy kook! But where does he fit in the “three friends on the run” story? Make him part of one of their backstories. hm... Incoding, why not. They were brothers in arms. Decaying took him in when he escaped. Ooh, died protecting him! An old flame, now best friend! His mind rotted, but like Mituna and Latula, they stick together no matter what. It used to be them against the world, but now they’ve got Innocent and Ruthless on their side.

Rufuss: I’m a Texan, and proud of it! Fuck being an American, that is a brand I wear with shame. But Texan? I’ve never been prouder of that. So, stereotypical cowboy. Hm, I don’t have a blueblood, yet. I want more than that, though. Blue seadwellers seem a rare deal, let’s do that. Hm, but what else? Let’s make him trans. I’m a chubby, trans guy, so why not make him a chubby tans guy. What kind of stuff would a seadwelling cowboy do? What creatures would he deal with? Seahorses? Ehh, Eridan did that. Kelpies! A different, more deadly kind of sea horse. That can’t be all, though. Are there sea cows? Yeah, manatees. Sea pigs? A kind of slug. Oh! Both are endangered, let’s make him a conservationist! But he needs conflict! Hm... Oh, hohoho, i know, but I’ve already got the blog up, let’s do it online. We’ll get there eventually. ;)

Bluegill: I was still running on Cowboy Pride, after just making Rufuss. so, another cowboy! But, uhh, how to make him unique? Ooh! Country singer! And let’s make him elderly. Aw, make him grandpa-eque. All grandpas need a faithful companion. Let’s give him the most country dog I can think of; the basset hound. Okay, great, but where does he fit in the ancestor’s story? Hm... He’s a big man, let’s make him raise the other big man, Hounding. Perfect, that can be why he wasn’t killed until he was old. Ooh, betrayal is fun, let’s make his own kid kill him.

[kaisooficrec]

hello sweet peaches! 

this is an extremely long list so we’ve decided to put them under the cut. yes, we’ve counted, and there’s 75+ bottomsoo fics listed, and they’re all from 2016 and after! so… without further ado!

anti-climax - honestly still one of my favourite bottomsoo smut ever. kyungsoo has never experienced an orgasm, and jongin’s gonna change that.

rookie boy - fuck me up real good, shy dom!jongin

backslide - kyungsoo is sexually frustrated bc all the dates he goes on end up with bad sex… so who better to call than his ex boyfriend jongin?

shades of green - !!! daddy kink with older!nini. jongin gets jealous when an old friend gets a lil too touchy with his soo + humiliation kink ohoho yes

velvet dreams - i really love this fic! the writing is amazing, i love the emotions conveyed, especially kyungsoo’s insecurities 

pose for me - model jongin and insecureish ksoo who also becomes a model to spend more time with jongin

translucent you - WET KAISOO need i say more /eye emoji/

love is - kyungsoo basically rides jongin until he cries (i cried too)

iNK - incubus!jongin with an obsession for high schooler!soo (warnings: bloodplay)

love in control - bdsm! kyungsoo goes on the internet to find someone (/coughs/ jongin ofc) to satisfy his particular needs~

come as you are - this is so cute omg, a werewolf/vampire relationship that kaisoo needs to hide from everyone

i am happy when i am with you - abo verse, cute friends to lovers fic where they’re quite unaware of each other’s feelings smh + jongin offers to spend kyungsoo’s heat with him :~)

drawing you - jongin, a fine arts student, draws kyungsoo for his project

i’ll heal you when you’re sick - non au, kyungsoo “takes care” of jongin when he gets sick

a simple life - two broken hearts heal with each other, this is stunnin (warnings: slight dubcon, master/slave)

autumn warmth - sequel to one eyed hue, crossdressing!jongin, queen aistehtik out here breaking gender roles

tifu… by sending nudes to my boss - fuck. yes. the title speaks for itself ;) but mmmm the jongin bicep appreciation in this gets me going

if you allow me - kyungsoo moves into a new apartment and his roommates are… weird. age switch, age gap and bloodplay (hek yes)

sweet against your lips - coffeeshop!au, jongin spills coffee on kyungsoo’s crotch and offers to clean it up :~)

on your knees (pretty please) - LISTEN this fucked me up so good oh my god, now THIS is a Powerbottom Fic. ksoo commanding jongin i just.. holy–

spellbound - kyungsoo goes to a strip club and meets jongin, and then starts seeing him a lot more frequently out of the club

body moves (yeah, just a little bit) - model!soo stylist!jong, wild n passionate sex. if you like this, read the sequel: come on home with me (baby, let it loose) (it’s topsoo!)

love is (for walls) - policeman!jongin gets late for their anniversary and has to pay the price + powerbottom kyungsoo, handcUFFS, barebacking… heck me up  

need you now - cute flustered ksoo buying condoms with his boyfriend for the good times

provocative - kyungsoo has sex with sex god jongin on a dare. absolutely gorgeous writing, the smut scene is poetic. 

deliver my pizza - slight!crack, kyungsoo has a pizza delivery boy kink and guess who gets roped up into roleplaying? 

lamborghini mercy - (warnings: dubcon) kyungsoo works at a car wash and has a crush on rich!nini who rolls in on his laaaaaaaaamb

sins of the flesh - we cannot go without reccing hobash. kyungsoo finds a video of his teammate on a pornsite.

First Times Are Always Awkward, Right? - powerbottom soo (warnings: this is highschool au so they’re both underage)

Can’t Sleep - ksoo is cute and whiny and jongin calls him baby 

Body (guard) - bodyguard!jong, kyungsoo drinks an aphrodisiac akdkalja slight!crack 

Talkative Actions - powerbottom ksoo and awk jong, this is so sweet!!

Like water, we combine - shower sex, domestic, this is purely pwp 

Spaghetti Kiss - non au where jongin is jealous of kyungsoo’s spaghetti kiss w kwangsoo (inspired by that running man ep!)

Kiss You Inside Out - stress relief fluffy smut

Hey, I was doing just fine before I met you - ex!boyfriends, dirty talk

Birthday Sex - well yes bday sex :-) the sexual tension though :o

(First time?) Meeting - they met online and sext and send nudes but dont know they’re bffs irl hmmm

Hey, I was doing just fine before I met you- - exes!kd but they end up having a passionate sex anyway....:--)

you've got the healing that i want - prom night but they get bored! maybe a round in their car will do right~

kristhaswaggerdad’s entire fucking collection (pun totally intended ohoho): getting it on - with toys ;)

             partition (glamorous) - ceo!jongin + car sex 

             here and now - abo verse

from kadi-centred fic fests:

no one dies this time: 

aurora - abo verse, kyungsoo is sent to alpha!jongin for protection and um the lovemaking is intense okay

caught in a comet’s tail - alien/intergalactic/tribal(ish) au, jongin comes from a planet where his tribe is dying and ksoo wants to save him

give in to me - i remember clicking this link so hard when i read the desc the first time i saw it. anyway, ex-boyfriends kaisoo get stuck in an elevator + riding!soo

like gravity - i love this fic so much honestly (psssst it’s got elevator sex)

lips like warm coffee - ex-boyfriends kaisoo spend 7 minutes in heaven :~) (ngl tho i got triggered when ji said “hello mr do”) 

love me - kyungsoo is a very sweet, loving and understanding boyf but then again are we even surprised? (warnings: mentions of depression, will make you hurt in the best way)

mr and mr kim - mr and mrs. smith!au, remember that rough sex scene in the movie? yep. ‘nuff said. 

overtaken - the sex scene is short but as per the third ask, the writing is good and it’s a really fun story + it is bottomsoo lol

put your venom in me - one of my fave dystopian!au where any “reckless” behaviour is banned. it’s both topsoo and bottomsoo; switching is perfectly common and healthy c:

summer snapdragons - the writing is INCREDIBLE, and i am still shook to my core. kyungsoo works as a barista for ceo!jongin (warnings: age gap and age switch)

will you stay with me - LISTEN THIS IS TWD!AU and ya’ll gotta know admin i is the biggest heux for anything with zombies!!!! kaisoo are amazing characters written with such depth, and the entire story is lit give it a chance please (warnings: gore, violence, minor character death, mentions of depression)

you know you love me - !!! gossip girl au for everyones fave gg otp but with kaisoo aka heaven (warnings: slight homophobia, minor character death, drunk!sex, mentions of depression)

10kfrp:

cosmic love - this is so beautiful! kyungsoo falls in love with the native from another planet :’) + JONGIN HAS PINK HAIR WITH FLOWERS IN IT 

dearly departed - they make sweet love on top of a bus in the middle of a zombie apocalypse

forkadionly:

campaigning for your heart - one of the funniest enemies to lovers fics! it’s politics au where kaisoo support different candidates + it’s powerbottom!soo

convoluted desires - war!au, jongin loses his bestfriend seungsoo in the war and he’s broken, when he goes to a brothel he meets seungsoo’s younger brother soo

cosmic fire - a personal fave from fko! the worldbuilding in this is amazing. (warnings: interspecies sex, technically)

hands on you - not very smutty but the author will hit you with that daddy kink outta nowhere hooo boy

locked in love - prison!au, they meet e/o there (prison sex omg)

retrograde motion - long ass incredibly written mama au with some sweet sweet loving? sign me tf up

starboy - omg space enthusiast soo is so cute in this!! and um jongin killed me with his ‘baby boy’ right outta nowhere. a beautiful coming of age type of fic! 

that would be enough - doctor au, both are career driven especially jong but then they start to drift apart and ksoo fears that ji will leave him one day

you are my spring - kaisoo’s relationship blossoms like spring time! (warnings: mentions of depression and anxiety)

And If Skies Could Speak - camp/scout au, soo is there and not allowed to go ‘outside’ the borders, then he meets someone who shows him the place turns out that someone has been smitten with him since day 1 hh

best days of our lives:

kyungsoo’s vitamin d - pure pwp oh my lord. powerbottom cockslut kyungsoo + riding!soo. this will for sure quench your thirst.  

secret’s untold - oh lordy lord the body worship!!! kyungsoo is a fairy (in heat) and he gives off a sweet smell ;) but fr this is wow okay  

rock-a-bye baby - domestic kaisoo smut, they do it in a newly built treehouse for their kids shame on them

rumours - jongin is a mafia leader, and blackmails kyungsoo 

when you say nothing at all - read the warnings, mafia au, ksoo is sad bc jong has always a bunch of pretty girls over but jong actually likes him

you’re all i have - pure pwp once more i’m yelling!! jongin’s lap is kyungsoo’s throne ;) 

bottomsoo fics from other fic fests:

midnight calling - fantasy, horror, (read warnings), i thought this fic was hauntingly beautiful, please do give this a try!

spur of the moment - from do-itall! and yells i’m getting size queen vibes from this /eye emoji/ plus there’s rimming and hung!jongin ohoho

and here are previously answered reqs on our blog with bottomsoo! happy reading lovelies!! (a special shoutout to everyone who thinks we’re apparently topsoo blog or something. though, y’know, we love topsoo too ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

KFR admins ♡

[foxesrefuge]

your were tagged ;D What do you think of Riko as a character inside the books? (no HCs) / Any fave HCs you want to share? / Any pairings/ships you like with him? / fic recs? / art recs? / Kevin&Riko - do they have/had feelings for each other? / Thoughts on his finale scene? / Did you read Nora's extra content? // tag other bloggers you think have something interesting to say about him! (maybe someone we don't know yet??) #Thoughts on Riko Moriyama

HOO boi XD here comes the trainwreck.First of..all thank you @c-valentino for tagging me and…. making me uh ..work and think on my own (sobs) haha *nervous laughter (noreally tho, thank you, целую!!)I probably won’tcome up with super new or hyper interesting stuff and… actually, Icould just link CVal’s whole post here……………………but okay here wego, then!!Ugh, I guess I have to out myself now real quickbefore we dive in: I was always kinda very interested in the ‘BadGuys’. No matter what, I’d try to find out more about them, try tofigure out how their twisted brains work and why their Morales werealways a bit questionable, which doesn’t necessarily mean I’m okaywith whatever they’re doing or understand and support their actions(hell fucking nooo).I’m just finding it super interesting tothink and sometimes even talk about.

Now, since that’s settled:I think Riko is justas interesting as our MC’s, if not one of the most interestingcharacters, and maybe also one of the most tragic ones (imo). I don’treally think you get this impression after reading the series for thefirst time, though. He seems super flat and not interesting enough inthe books. I wouldn’t have given him a second thought if I didn’t getthe chance to read the extra content.

Which leads me now to my actually toughts on Riko, based  onextra Content and HC’s:The way Riko sees the world isobviously reeeally different from how our MC’s view the world,which is quite,.. understandable, regarding where he comes from, howhe was raised and trained and what he went through (bc hooo boi,that’s not a life I wanna live). This guy knows he’s the son ofExy, obviously The Number One and the actual King of the court. Thereshould be no way anyone could have the power or strength to outpacehim (oh and Riko is going to make sure of that). He is a Moriyama andthinks of his players as his property, he basically gets what hewants and who he wants. Sounds like a pleasant life, right? But Idon’t think he had one. He is living with this pressure form“above’, knowing that he always ‘has to be’ The Best of them all. Hehas to deliver otherwise he would be no use and therefore not worthkeeping in the nest, on the court and alive. I always picturedhim feeling the pressure and weirdly enough people tend to forgetthat Riko is not a robot… because being pressured like that,knowing you have to be THE BEST all the time, no matter what .. thatreally really really fucks with you and your brain. He isprobably under constant stress, giving more than just his best ,whichhe also expects from his players. There is no space for compassion,no place for weakness, nor failure. His live is Exy and there isnothing else than Exy keeping him alive. It’s his past, hispresent and his future for the rest of his life. His mentalbreakdowns always turn into violent outbursts because that boy can’treally cope with the mess in his head (probably not even aware ofthat) He never learned how to control his anger or himself. Why wouldhe? He is King, a Moriyama, he is the one controlling. So yeah, youbasically don’t want to be near him when he’s having his moments. Hisruthlessness makes him go overboard at times. A lot of times.He’salso never at fault. No matter what he does because.. what the hell??Such a concept doesn’t even exist. So how in the world is Rikoa tragic character, when we just settled that he’s nothing but anabsolute ruthless monster with no restrains???!!

Lemme explain ok. Riko was born into this world of Exy, Thesecond son, not the first(!!), growing up and having those insaneexpectations to life up to –  he would be a worthless piecenothing, not needed on the court. He had Kevin, the brother who wasalways by his side, on and off court; his number 2, his property,*his*. Riko doesn’t know how to treat people right though,doesn’t know the concept of actual friendship, It’s always just Exyand Exy and Exy, there is no time for friendship. I also believethat he deep down feared for his life, he just wasn’t aware of thatbecause his brain was too occupied with getting better.One of myHC’s is that: he was super restless the whole damn time, not able tocalm down, constantly under pressure.He basically barely slept.How is there time for sleep, when you can use that precious time ondrills?It wrecks him. The nest destroyed a perfectly fineboy, gave him the chance to basically develop this crazy god complexand also turning him into this Exy monster. And most of the time hewasn’t even aware of his problems because there is just no time andspace for that shit.

Now what happens if one suddenly takes away his Exy? Welp,there’d be nothing left of this fucked up guy. He is a mess, abroken soul, not good enough to be alive.He has nothing, not evenhimself because he was sold to the court and owned by the court.There are many many many demons living in his ribcage, twistinghis brain in the worst ways. I’m not even sure if he’d be able tolive a normal human life outside the nest, without being able to feelanything besides the need to do better and better and better. It madehim mad to the point of no return … so yeah uh .. don’t you thinkthat’s kinda tragic??

Fave HC’s: Mhh, I uh … you know what?

basicallyeverything CVal came up with and mentioned  in her post

…..…..(did u think I was joking, Val?)

Riko with freckles, I dig that!!

Riko playing an instrument.. preferably the piano (ok listen, just the picture of Riko, in a black suit … sitting in front of a piano…no?just me?ok)

Riko being an amazing swimmer

Also some Au’s

Riko and Ichirou → actually interacting with each other (Onii-san,y'all I’m chokiNG ( maybe some kind of Uchiha-Verse or something like that, why not? I dig it))

Fox!Riko ( @bvccvrdi  thank you for this and @shihoran for destroying me and my emotions daily w this)

Pairings/Ships and Feelings:

Riko/Kevin clearly. There is no doubt.

Especially after reading the extra content and old drafts.Thesetwo were boyfriends. Their relationship was hella unhealthy and probsreally violent but  … they just can’t live without each other(I mean can u imagine how obsessed Riko had been with Kev?? He wasHIS, okay? His and ooonly his.He didn’t even touch Kevin’s side of the room after all this time,can u imagine??). They were rivals for sure .. but .. they were alsoabsolutely obsessed w each other.I currently ship them likenothing else. Too invested. Even though I’m more than just conflictedabout this but I just cannot help it.

Thoughts on his final scene:….I have to admit thatI’m super unhappy with how the AFTG series ended. I’m glad to have ahappy end, couldn’t be more great full but everything feels so rushedand off. And I think it’s all due to Riko’s super quick death.Everything happened way too fast, I actually hate that he died, orspecifically how fast and easy that happened. It just didn’t fit atall, in my opinion.

Art Recs:

Give @shihoran a follow and you’ll be well supplied!!

And here are some other amazing pieces:

I ♔

II ♕

III ♖

IV ♗

V ♘

VI ♙

VII ♚

VIII ♛

IX ♜

X ♝

XI ♞

Fic Recs:

 I haven’t really read that many, mainly because I know there aren’t that many. But here are a few I really liked

♥       what if i did    MadHatterNO7

♠      Meant to be mine    shihoran

♣       bvccardi’s Fox!Riko

I also know @c-valentino is working on something reeeeally really nice, y’all. So You better stay tuned, pumped and hyped!!! because I suRE AF AM!!!!

Everyone I’d love to hear from was already tagged, I believe. But whatevs, I’m going to mention y’all again. Feel free to ignore tho:

@shihoran​ @viviena​ @still-waiting-for-godot​ @bvccvrdi​ @ziegenkind​ @mochis-mullet

[galacticbxss]

💕 ((Can be both for Lysandre and Zane if you want >w>))

(I am all for both of these ships tbh)(Ly and Cyrus already have a sort of friendship going on, which I could honestly enjoy as just that or as a romantic ship. They already have an interesting dynamic, with how different their thoughts are yet somehow became friends, and would be a good ship romantically!)(Now Zane and Cyrus??? Hooo boy,,,,, I'm already invested in it tbh. Like you've said in our group chat, he just wants to feel emotions again, and I think Cyrus could be someone who can help him do just that. He'd know how hard it could be, and helping wouldn't be an issue. Though, he doesn't exactly get along with his father already. But I can see this being a great ship, platonically and romantically!)

[artistimistic]

tagging @dayoneofadventure since he made me do this ;p

1.       Who hurt you the most?

That’s a tough one for sure. I really don’t have a good answer.

2.       Who have you hurt the most?

Kind of the same as above, but probably one of my exes if I had to guess. I hurt Ethan pretty bad.

3.       Who do you miss the most?

Hmm, right now I miss a few people there is no most

4.       Who do you want out of your life the most?

The person is gone, fortunately.

5.       Who had the biggest positive impact on you?

My dad.

6.       Who had the biggest negative impact on you?

My mom

7.       Who do you wish you could be honest with?

I’m actually a rather honest person. I don’t see the point in not being honest. I try not to hurt people’s feelings obviously but…

8.       Who have you harbored (any kind of!) secret feelings towards?

Lots of people….even tho im honest im rather shy…but ive been working on that kinda!!!

9.       Who would the world be better off without?

Trump probs

10.   Who do you wish you’d treated differently?

Eh, quite a few people. I’ve made lots of mistakes, but that is part of life.

11.   What was the worst day of your life?

Hmmmmm another tough one that I feel like I do not have a good answer for. I feel like it has not happened yet.

12.   What’s your greatest fear?

Everyone abandoning me/being alone.

13.   What’s your biggest insecurity?

Uh, same as #12 lmao

14.   What’s your biggest regret?

Not taking more chances/making more friends

15.   Describe your ideal world.

As cliché as it sounds, one where peace is abundant, people can live, and eat food and not…yknow die from things easily prevented.

16.   Describe your personal hell.

Im living it #emo #myspace. No but uh I dunno? Working a job I hate…leading a life I hate…ending up alone…lmao

17.   What’s a hopeless dream you’re still holding on to?

Uhmmm? Probably being a writer

18.   What’s the most embarrassed you’ve ever been?

One time I was in the lunch line and I poked a person in front of me and waved cause I thought it was my best friend….it wasn’t.

19.   What’s the angriest you’ve ever been?

I feel like im saying I dunno a lot but ive had issues with anger that I struggle with so I don’t know if there is any particular “angriest” time

20.   What’s the saddest you’ve ever been?

Hooo boy I have depression so kinda the same as above sorry :x

21.   What’s the most scared you’ve ever been?

When my mom found out I’d been self harming

22.   What’s the most hopeless you’ve ever felt? man these are some hard hitting questions man…I dunno…

23.   What’s the most frantic you’ve ever felt?

Same as #21

24.   What’s the bravest you’ve ever felt?

I don’t think ive ever felt brave tbqh :x

25.   What’s the best case scenario for your future?

I have a job I enjoy at least a bit, and make enough to live comfortably with someone I love. And we have a dog :D

26.   What’s the worst case scenario for you future?

As ive said, im alone in a dead end job etc

27.   What’s the most physical pain you’ve ever felt?

When I bruised my ribs

28.   What’s the most emotional pain you’ve ever felt?

:x

29.   Describe a time you felt like a hypocrite.

Ive struggled with jealousy it used to be super bad when I was in my early teens and I got mad at my boyfriend for doing things I did myself

30.   Describe a time you felt like a traitor.

I don’t think I have

31.   Describe a time you felt like a hero.

never

32.   Describe a time you felt inhuman.

All the time cause I struggle with dissociation lmfao

33.   Describe a time you felt like a failure.

Every moment of my life man im so emo

34.   What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?

Its so hard to define a worst lmao….ive self harmed and planned suicide so lets go w/that?

35.   What are you proudest of?

Getting published ~14 times in my schools literary magazine

36.   What’s your relationship with your family like?

Pretty ok

37.   What’s your relationship with religion like?

Im athiest

38.   Talk about someone you’ve lost.

Ive lost my great aunt mary, I used to spend a lot of time at her house. She had a super cute yorkie and always had a bowl of old people candy. I miss her.

39.   Talk about someone who abandoned you.

Everyone lmfao no but uh a lot of my friends have

40.   Talk about a desire you have that scares you.

Uhhh???? I honestly dunno…man I suck at this im sorry lmfao

41.   What’s something you wish you were capable of?

Not second guessing myself constantly, or maybe not worrying. Yeah not worrying would be fcking gr8

42.   What’s something you’re afraid that you’re capable of?

Destroying everything around me and isolating myself :’)

43.   Describe the kind of life you wish you’d been born into.

I don’t hate the one I was born into tbh

44.   Describe your worst heartbreak.

I don’t wanna talk about this sorry.

45.   Describe your worst disappointment.

Failing math 2 times in HS

46.   Have you ever taken a fall for someone?

All the time

47.   Have you ever forced or let someone take a fall for you?

Forced, no let??? Maybe :x

48.   Have you ever done serious physical harm to someone?

nope

49.   Have you ever done serious emotional harm to someone?

Intentionally? No…accidentally most likely

50.   Have you ever self-harmed?

Big time

51.   Have you ever attempted suicide?

Define “attempted”

52.   Have you ever stolen something?

nop

53.   Have you ever cheated on someone?

Once when I was quite young, one of my bigger regrets

54.   Have you ever been cheated on?

yup

55.   Have you ever taken revenge on someone?

Don’t think so

56.   Have you ever seriously considered killing somone?

nop

57.   Have you ever betrayed someone who trusted you?

Eh, probably?

58.   Have you ever experienced something supernatural or unexplainable?

Not really no

[colossalghoul]

Tagged by my lovely @mintbean A- age: 17 (I'll be 18 in april) B- biggest fear: embarrassment and paranormal stuff (I'm terrified of ghosts) C- current time: 9:00 pm D- drink you last had: iced tea lol E- everyday starts with: stretching and refusing to get out of bed F- favorite song as of now: hard to love by one ok rock G- ghost, are they real: I have no doubt in my mind that they are real. And as I said I'm terrified of them (my childhood house was extremely haunted) H- hometown: santa barbara california I- In love with: wonho from monsta x (I will sell both of my kidneys for that boy) J- jealous of: perfect people, confident people, nice skin, good hair, etc K- killed someone: with my eyes but not physically L- last time I cried: I honestly never cry like sometimes I go years without crying but I think the last time I actually cried was when I heard Amber sing boarders live with ally (that song is really personal to me and she just had so much emotion behind her voice i lost it) M- middle name: Skyler N- number of siblings: I have 2 biological sisters and 2 brothers who are actually childhood friends but I see them as brothers O- one wish: to buy a real nice house and move in with ally and get a bunch of dogs (and and monitor lizard) and have a stable job P- person you last called or texted: ofc it's ally Hahaha Q- question your often asked: is that like actually your real name? We're your parents hippies or something? Can you see the future? R- reason to smile: have you seen lizards in hats? How about dogs? Birds? Cats? Elephants! Animals in general S- song last sang- cave me in by Eric nam, tablo, and gallant T- time you woke up 11 (and then I almost threw up because my blood sugar was too low) U- underwear color: dark blue lol V- vacation destination- Portugal, south Korea, japan, France W- worst habit: hooo boy that's a long list... I guess the worst ones are picking at my skin on my arms ( resulting in lots of scars covering my shoulders) I also rub/pull at my hair when I'm stressed (causing spots of thin hair) X- x-rays you've had: quite a few for my mouth and hand Y- your favorite food: almost all seafood, chocolate, fish tacos, red beans and rice Z- zodiac sign: Taurus (hell yea) Okiiii I tag whoever cuz idk many people oops