#hopefully my point comes through though! i really really like this character type. peace and love to ya ;) <3 - d xoxo

[crucible-memes-4-salem-teens]

i nearly forgot! but something in me made me remember to make this post.

why i really like the "mean teenage girl*" character type: a summary

(*not to be confused with the "mean girl", which i'm not fond of. also "mean" in this context means something closer to tough and also resilient and outspoken)

for starters, i just want to say: in real life, "mean" teenage girls are some of the best people to be around if you want your worldview challenged: they are incredibly opinionated and usually have many reasons for their attitudes towards the world. this also applies to their fictional counterparts.

so. we've all met a mean adolescent girl before, haven't we? and if we don't think we've met them, chances are, we were/are that girl. today i want to give a few reasons why that character type is one of my favorites.

~*~*~*~

let's look at a prime example of the "mean teenage girl" that everyone here is or should be familiar with: abigail williams. or at least the version of her that exists in the crucible.

i think we can all agree: she's pretty mean. she says and does kind of awful things over the course of the play. as a person/character, that makes her pretty unlikable and even (in some people's opinions) downright awful. but as a narrative tool? absolute gold mine.

the fact of the matter is this: based on the storyline she is given (being orphaned at a young age and taken in by her uncaring uncle + being used by an older man while she was vulnerable), it is completely reasonable for her to be as angry and aggressive as she is. her small world is completely shattered and pulled from under her; it's no wonder she acts out in the way she does.

beside that, however, she is bold. she is unapologetically herself, and does not let the confines of her position as parris's niece/ward stop her from making it known that she is displeased with the world she has been thrust into without her consent.

she's clever, too. she may be rash, but what teenager isn't? abby knows what she wants and how to mastermind a plan to get that, even if it means burning bridges and destroying fragile accords. her motivations and methods may seem to be juvenile and a bit unreasonable, but because of who she is, she doesn't see it that way. (also, really, it's more that she lost her metaphorical safety blanket, which is traumatizing for anyone of any age)

so much has already been taken from her; why can't she do the same and take from others?

granted, there is a time when this goes too far and she does devolve into the "mean girl" trope (ex: her aggression toward betty and mary): granted, that is part of the narrative and not her as a character. she does not actually make these decisions. the actions seem in character, though, simply because we have already established her to be a mean teenage girl. therefore, this decision seems somewhat ambiguous.

her vulnerability in combination with this combativeness are weaponized to make other (equally innocent) characters ultimately suffer great loss.

all of that to say, because of the ambiguity in her actions and characterization, i find it hard to completely like abby as a character, though i do like the character type she fits into (in my opinion) and am slowly coming around.

~*~*~*~

moving on though. if you'll allow it, i'd like to discuss a character y'all might be less familiar with who also embodies this archetype fairly well, though she is not from the crucible. i decided to include her in this post mostly because i think her portrayal is a time where this character type is done correctly and i want to emphasize what i like about her/this trope when it's done right.

she is a character i lovingly call my daughter and hold a lot of strong feelings about (if you're familiar with my original posts on my main, i talk about her family a LOT): the lovely franziska von karma (karuma mei) from the ace attorney (gyakuten saiban) series.

so, basically, she is a very different character from abby, but that's not what i'm particularly focused on. what i'm more concerned with is the similar character type.

again, if you're familiar with her actions within the canon of the games, she's very mean and does not hold back when it comes to her opinion of things/people. she can be haughty and even just rude.

however, it is quickly realized that underneath that tough exterior is a young girl who has been hurt and whose world has been flipped upside down. sound familiar?

but the thing about franziska is this: her goal is not retribution for herself (though lord knows she deserves it), it's the desire to avenge a loved one and their honor. so her meanness almost seems more noble in this way, if that makes any sense. it may still seem selfish and immature, but there's this element of selflessness and genuine care underneath.

so why do i like her/this version of the mean teenage girl trope better? because she gets to be multifaceted and not a one-dimensional antagonist in the way that abby is framed by the narrative of the crucible. it's less of a character thing and more of a writing thing. it's a weird decision in my honest opinion. (then again, the play was written in the 50s during a particularly tense part of history.) i guarantee it, had the crucible been from abby's perspective, there would be less demonizing of her.

~*~*~*~

in closing, part of the reason i like this trope is that these mean teenagers are not mean just for the he[ck] of it, they have deeper stories and motivations for their actions*. but, that can be taken and framed in a way that makes them appear flat and just terrible. however, that is not a reflection of the characters, just the writers behind them.

i like this trope because these characters take a world that is not kind to them and say "screw you" right to its face, and they are allowed to do that without changing themselves from being outspoken and strong-willed. i think that we should strive to create more characters like this, who are very vulnerable but tough and know how to defend themselves but may still be misguided in their attempts to do that. i think we should write more mean teenage girls.

(*this is not intended to frame trauma or past hurt as an excuse for hurting others, it's to illustrate that there can be more to these characters' motivations than plain angst and aggression.)

[crystallinestars]

Hello! I'm back for another rant :)

I was still thinking about Mihoyo's tendency to pair characters and play the ambiguity game to make more money and something I've noticed is that people will jump through sooo many hoops to defend the company. ''oh they can't be explicit because of censorship'', ''oh it's China, their culture is different!'' or even ''stupid entitled westerners always complaining about things they don't even try to understand smh 🙄''

Now, while I can agree that censorship and culture should be taken into account when talking about these games, I also feel like it's a bit disingenuous and lowkey patronising to chalk it all up to ''the Chinese are just all like that lol''

Like, why are we so vehemently defending a company that makes millions (if not billions) through ship teasing, as you've put before? Censorship does not change the fact that the development that characters get in these games (especially Genshin) goes out the window every other event or as soon as the main story is finished. And whenever I hear someone talk about censorship, I always think about Mo Dao Zu Shi (granted, the situation was different in its case so we should take it with a grain of salt) where its donghua and drama adaptations where indeed censored (but they were much more explicit than whatever's going on in Hoyoverse), yet the novel (the source material) had many MANY chapters with its two male leads going at it

I admit that I've been feeling a bit salty recently (because I feel like people only care about coding when it comes to the 'great' questions of ''OK but do these two men FUCK? How many times a day do they go at it and who's the woman in this ship??'' Meanwhile nobody ever talks about different dynamics, asexuality and aromanticism are seen as boring, and oh lord does bisexuality seem to be often treated as a trump card to say ''ok but this character is at least 50% gay'') and I also don't know that much about how everything works in China, but idk, I guess my point is that if they wanted to make ships canon, they WOULD (or could) find a way to do so

Anyway, your recent posts and asks also got me thinking and I guess I wanted to show you some support! I've seen your bio and I think it's a really smart move on your part to be clear on what you don't feel comfortable with from the get go. It can definitely be awkward when you have to tell someone that's just really excited to share their thoughts on something they enjoy that you're not interested and you'd rather not talk about this AT ALL. And it really does not help that popular ships tend to attract a lot of unhinged behaviour 😑 It's really refreshing to come across content creators like you, who are very clear in their boundaries and write such thoughtful fics

Once again, I hope you will be left to do your own thing in peace and that you'll keep finding ways and solutions for you to enjoy your favourite works without feeling alienated 💜

(And hopefully one day I will learn how to type short rants 😅)

Haha, short rants don't exist, Anon! It's perfectly okay to type long rants to me, I don't mind. If anything, I relish in them. As someone who rants and complains a lot myself, I welcome it when someone else does it. 😊 (I mean, just look at the length of my reply. I am not any better than you, dear Anon)

Lord, the "Mihoyo can't show explicit gay ships because of the CCP censorship" excuse grates on my nerves, as well. Censorship of homosexuality is definitely a thing in China, and it can sometimes be very horrible, but that's not what's stopping Mihoyo from making certain ships canon. They got way with a lot of lesbian ships in Honkai 3rd (though admittedly they had to tone it down once new laws were implemented, but the fact remains that at some point they were able to be blatant about their ships), and if we're talking actual coding, then Jeht being lesbian-coded is a thing that exists! If it was such a huge deal, I feel like Mihoyo would have either been way more subtle about it or not included these things at all.

It's just my personal opinion, but I'm certain that the reason Mihoyo doesn't make any ship canon is for the sake of making money. They need to sell characters, and the best way to do that is to allow players to enjoy characters the way they want. Assigning a specific sexuality or canon ship will crush the interpretations some players have about a character, and make that character unappealing. It would negatively impact their sales. Keeping things vague and only giving teases of the most popular ships seems to be the ideal marketing tactic for them. It panders to a lot more people this way and keeps most of them happy (however, the fact remains that they ignore a particular demographic of women, though that's a story for another time).

Regarding your reasons why people whip out the "coding" card... YOU ARE SO RIGHT! People only use sexuality coding as a way to "prove" their gay ship is canon and discredit any BG pairing. And they focus on things like one guy being muscular and the other more slender, and then assigning traditionally masculine and feminine traits to them, respectively. I could go on a whole separate rant about this topic, but I'll spare you the wall of text. Feminizing one of the guys in a gay ship is one of my biggest pet peeves, especially when it's OOC for the character.

One thing I noticed is that sexuality often gets used as a convenient tool to suit the needs of certain shippers instead of being used for actual diversity.

I can't tell you the amount of times I saw a sexuality tier list where the aromantic and asexual rows were treated as trash bins where people tossed the characters they didn't care about. There's no actual thought put into the sorting, and that's very unfair to actual aro and ace persons.

As for bisexuality... it's such a polarizing topic in fandoms. It's seen as a good thing when you have a canonical BG pairing, because then you can claim one or both are bi and therefore are also attracted to the same sex (as you said, they're "at last 50% gay" and can be shipped in gay pairings). However, if you have a non-canon BL or GL ship, saying one or both characters are bi is tantamount to treason. How dare you suggest they can be attracted to the opposite sex? That's erasing the gay representation!

Basically, bisexuality, much like the term "coding", gets treated like a tool that's allowed to exist only when it's convenient to a person, instead of as an actual sexuality real people have. I feel like bi, aroace, and pansexual people get shafted hard in fandoms in general.

Anyways, thank you for your support, Anon! I mentioned it in another post, but putting your likes and dislikes in the bio is a common practice in the Eastern part of the world, and I chose to copy that. I think it's a good way to meet people with similar interests while also letting those who have opposite interests avoid you. If the BL Anon had checked my bio first before following me, he could have spared himself some trouble haha. Sadly, it seems that many don't look at bios 😢

Thank you for your nice sentiments! I'm fairly confident that I won't be harassed, especially not in the reader-insert community, but I appreciate the thought! And hopefully I can find a way to combat the alienation... If not, then I'll simply uninstall both HSR and Genshin and find games that actually pander to me 😅

May you stay happy and free of harassment as well, dear Anon! 💚

[technowoah]

Hi! If you do tommyinnit x reader (romantic), I would like one where reader is tubbo's sister perhaps? She would have the feature reader has still not tubbos. Maybe they meet when tubbo and tommy meet up and he just kinda starts to like her? If not that's ok! -paw <3

Prepare For Trouble Make it Double

I hope this suffices 😋

Requested!

Romantic(?)

Tommyinnit x Tubbo's sister!reader (blurb?)

⚠︎ its tommy so it'll be slight swearing-

It wasn't a secret that Tubbo had siblings, he had Lani of course, but what people didn't know that he had another sister closer to his age.

You tended to stay out of the spotlight, for reasons. Streaming was interesting but not your fortè. You usually tended to stay behind the camera when Tubbo was streaming or off to the side quietly talking to him as he did his own lore or sitting on Lani's bed doing your own thing listening to her talking to her viewers.

Your siblings never tried to convince you to go out of your comfort zone and appear on streams, only once in a blue moon you would talk to Lani out of frame. Lani of course would respond, the chat would freak out asking if you were a friend, finally the moment was gone as fast as it came.

Thats how days go in their household. Tending to hover around eachother and whatever they were doing at the moment. But it was this one particular moment when Tubbo was streaming and he suddenly decided to bring you on to show his 700k viewers that he had another sister.

He had pulled up a brown folding chair next to him and patted it beckoning you to sit down in frame.

Tubbo was currently streaming on the Dream SMP, you didnt think he was doing lore today so you hesitated a little bit. Other days you wouldn't have budged out of your spot out of sight, but he looked so excited in his yellow jumper you had bought for him whe going to out to the shops.

In a unrelated note You remember saying that "yellow is your color" and he ended up buying it, and his stans loved the jumper. So a win win.

"C'mon Y/N!" He yelled as continued to pat the folding chair next to him.

You ended up shuffling over to the seat next to him and smiling at the camera. Over in the corner of your eye you saw the chat which was going 1 million miles an hour. You saw some comments that were basically copypastas of other comments in the chat. It was basically nonsense, now the only thought in your mind is that you're going to make an uproar on twitter.

"This is my sister chat!" Tubbo said while shaking you around by the shoulders making the both of you laugh.

"Yes chat! I have more siblings" he continued while rocking back and forth in his gamer chair.

He continued to answer more questions and ask you some too, wanting to include you in the stream.

"Lani isn't the only one! My big sister is just shy."

"I just chose not to be on their streams! I was in the background of Lani's streams though."

"Out of frame. Dosent count." Tubbo said bluntly while still walking around SnowChester in the Dream Smp not looking your way.

You could still see the chat in the corner and you couldnt tear your eyes off of it. It was slight glare from the lights and the sun shining in his gaming room. He always had the lights bright in his room. The chat was spamming purple hearts and either still freaking out that Tubbo had a sister. It was getting old to you, so you decided to lean into Tubbo's space focusing on his screen as he quickly hopped around the map.

He continued talking to chat about anything else, but your presence. He continued to talk about gathering supplies and what he needed to bring back to SnowChester. You knew a lot about the Dream Smp lore because you weren't in it. Spending time on Twitter interacting with people and their theories and also making theories and showing them to Tubbo and him debunking them, or accepting them in some way.

"So we need some more lapis." Tubbo said suddenly after being quiet for a while.

"I can help you!" You said wanting to be apart of the stream.

You might as well, you're already here.

"I dont think you can help, 'cause you're not on your account. Plus it'll be awkward with your laptop." Tubbo said while speeding through his water transportation system.

"Well I can just point it out to you." You said while leaning back into your seat.

"Talk to the chat while I go mine for lapis."

"Fine then." You smirked as you turned your attention to the speeding words in the chat.

"Is there a slow mode on this?!" You laughed.

Tubbo laughed as well. "This is on slow mode!"

You both screamed in fake agony and then turned your attention back to the chat where the you caught a few questions. You were about to answer until the chat stopped for a quick second and you saw one comment out of all for a quick second.

✔tommyinnit: HI TUBBO'S SISTER IM TOMMY LETS MAKE A VIDEO TOGETHER

After that comment the whole chatt was just spamming the word 'TOMMY' or 'TOMMY IS IN CHAT'. That confused you even more than that comment.

When you did know about the Dream Smp you also knew a little bit about who Tubbo hangs out with. You knew about the time Tubbo had met up with Wilbur Soot, Philza, and Tommy. And that prompted you to look up their individual accounts and get into their content.

You knew about Tommy and his character and channel, you enjoyed his content a lot as well, but you wanted to play around a little bit. Hopefully Tubbo will play along.

"Why is the chat spamming Tommy?"

"Tommy? You know Tommy don't you?" Tubbo asked with a small bit of shock in his voice.

"No I dont, who's Tommy?" You asked again, acting oblivious.

"Oh. Oh well then, Tommy is like my best friend, we're actually meeting up soon!" Tubbo said with excitement.

He continued. "You hear that chat! You get Tommy and Tubbo content!

You had lost interest in Tubbo talking with his chat about hanging out in Brighton with Tommy again. Your eyes drifted towards the chat again and saw Tommy comment in the chat again.

✔tommyinnit: HOW DARE YOU NOT KNOW WHO I AM

✔tommyinnit: I WILL NOT MAKE A VIDEO WITH YOU ANYMORE

"Well Tommy I dont have an account so, sorry I cant get you views whoever you are." You said responding to Tommy with a smirk.

"Woke up and chose violence huh?" Tubbo laughed and you joined in as well.

"Tommy chose violence today too."

"You both are violent you will be nice together." Tubbo said with his focus still in his screen.

"Together?!" You exclaimed.

"Yeah together!" Tubbo said matching your energy.

You rolled you eyes and continued answering other comments instead of thinking about Tubbo's answer.

After that whole, incredibly longer than you thought, stream Tubbo decides to invite you along to their little meeting. Which you didnt know how you found yourself walking along Brighton's rocky shore in old Crocs. You were walking along the shoreline letting the cold water come up and hit your feet every so often.

He was waiting for Tommy at the moment, but you wanted to walk for a bit, he let you ho on by yourself while he waited for Tommy by himself.

You were quite a long way from where Tubbo seated himself on the rocks, you were doing your own thing looking at people who stared back at you for temporarily blocking their line of view of the shore, and little kids who decide to run away from their parents who weren't paying attention. Your peaceful walk got interrupted by your thoughts because you were quite a long way from Tubbo's resting place.

You started to head back, following back the way you came, but this time picking up the pace a bit to reach your destination. As you came upon Tubbo you saw a taller figure approach Tubbo and they seemed to greet eachother, it was hard to see where you were standing. Of course it was Tommy so the two of them started talking about who knows what, until Tubbo pointed your way.

As you kept walking, Tubbo continued to wave you over enthusiastically. You waved back with the same energy, finally making your way over to the both of them.

"What's up?" You asked the two of them with a smirk.

"Nothing much! Apparently you two haven't met before! So Tommy this is Y/N! Y/N thjs is Tommy!" Tubbo user hand gestures to introduce eachother.

You held your hand for Tommy to shake it, "Hey Tommy! Im a big fan."

"Big fan?! I thought you said you didn't know me?" Tommy exclaimed.

He was a lot less shouty in real life, than online. He was still loud, but to a lesser extent.

"Yeah I lied back then." You sent him a huge grin.

Tommy scoffed and groaned a little, "I cant belive you fuckers lied to me."

"Im actually a big fan. Well not big, but a fan at least." You laughed.

Apparently you and Tommy were the only ones standing while Tubbo typed on his phone while sitting back on the rocks not paying attention and letting you both talk amongst yourselves.

"Oh! That's an honor that Tubbo's big sister like my videos." Tommy's eyes widened slightly as he talked to you.

"Big sister only by 1 year! It's close!" Tubbo complanied, looking up from his phone.

"It still count big man." Tommy said to his friend.

"Thanks Tommy!" You thanked the tall man standing next to you.

"It's only a year! It dosent count! We're the same age!" Your brother continued to complain.

After the laughter and joking around calmed down you and Tommy stood there awkwardly until he spoke up again.

"Well good thing I know what I have to deal with. I cant deal with one of you, now I have to deal with two." Tommy joked around taking a seat next to Tubbo.

The exact moment when Tommy took a seat next to Tubbo, Tubbo shot up from his spot on the ground.

"Do you think we can do Uber Eats here?" Tubbo asked as he stood up.

You say down next to Tommy. "Yeah maybe if you go to a certain place and not say "the beach".

"I'll go to the pizza place and order there. What do you both want?" Tubbo asked, ready to put in any order.

"Just get McDonald's really." You sighed leaning back on the rocks.

"Im not hungry." Tommy said bluntly.

Tubbo nodded and walked away from you both leaving you two to sit in silence for a while with the small waves crashing, and kids having their own fun. It was a comfortable silence to you, but Tommy kept figeting over where he sat criss-crossed.

Tommy finally spoke up. "Im actually fucking starving ya know?

"No I don't! You should've asked for food!" You laughed in disbelief.

Tommy sighed. "Do you want to get some food and ditch Tubbo for now?"

Your eyes widened, not opposed to the idea, but was this his plan the whole time?

He continued on, "We could go sit at that pizza place and order some food there. Just the two of us until Tubbo freaks out."

You opened your mouth to protest leaving your brother in the dark, but he beat you to it.

"Dont worry about Tubbo! Stuff rolls off his back easy."

"No it dosent-"

"Yeah it does! You wanna just go out with me now?!" Tommy exclaimed.

"Are you getting annoyed?" You asked amused at his words.

"No I am not I just-"

"Yeah I want to go to the pizza place now. I would love to Tommyinnit." You smiled at him and he smiled back.

Both of you got up and made your way over to that small pizza diner close to the beach. You only could hope this goes as well as you wanted it to

[kotos-and-smiles]

The meaning of “I”

Chapter 104 spoliers!

Note 1. I’ll still be calling it “I” even though the translators are changing the way they translate it to be “peace,” because that’s what I’m used to calling it for now.

Note 2. Just a fair warning, this is a long post, but hopefully you enjoy!

Okay, I’ve been meaning to start this blog for months now but I’ve had no idea how to just start so here we are. I decided what better way to start off than talking about the newest chapter because there is oh so much to talk about in this one chapter alone. The first thing I really want to talk about from this chapter is the club’s song for nationals “I” or “Peace” as the translators have started calling it. Despite the fact the club has been working on “I” for a lot of chapters now, we still don’t know about the actual meanings and motifs that are in the song or what feelings they’re aiming to put into it. I think we haven’t heard much about this because the club is still trying to figure it out for themselves. Also, I’ve been questioning for a while what type of song Takinami would write for the club, and that was answered in this chapter.

What we do know about the song is that it has the 4-person part with Chika, Kota, Momoya, and Yoshinaga, a part where all 9 of the club members play together, a part where melodies played by Chika and Satowa and then Takezo and Hiro will intertwine, and everyone has a solo. It’s also been emphasized over and over that all 9 people are needed to play the song. Takinami has only given his usual vague hints as to what meaning he put into the song, because like always he wants the club to figure it out for themselves. Until we get to ch.104, in which Chika interprets it in such the opposite way of how Takinami meant it that Takinami finally feels the need to give him a hint as to what the song means (and thank god, because I really don’t think that poor Chika would’ve gotten it at all otherwise).

In chapter 104, we learn that “I” is actually a piece that can be played with any amount of the 9 parts and still be a full song. This is a huge deal, and honestly blew my mind when I first read it. Takinami has specifically pushed the idea that everyone needs to be there to play this song, knowing full well that in actuality the song would be complete no matter how many people played it. Everyone is still essential in his eyes because the point is the desire to play with everyone and the importance each member holds to each other. Takinami even brings up the conversation he and Chika had before Ku-on, showing just how huge of an impact the whole situation with Ku-on had on Takinami. With the performance of Ku-on, he saw what this group was really made of and what they were capable of, even in less than ideal circumstances they pulled through an intensely emotional performance. Takinami finally found a sound he couldn’t ignore. The conversation Takinami and Chika have in ch.25, when Takinami tells Chika he shouldn’t perform and Chika responds that he really enjoys playing with everyone, that sentiment made it into “I.” Except now, the tables are turned and instead Chika still desperately wants to play, but absolutely will not if it means no one else gets to and thinks that he won’t be able to, and Takinami has taken a complete 180 on what his stance was during Ku-on. Unlike in Ku-on, Chika is, in a way, trying to drop out, and now Takinami is the one telling Chika to stay and play. I honestly love this whole conversation between them, I love how Takinami gets pissed at Chika for even thinking about withdrawing from the club, I love that he points out that Chika is only 16 and does not have to take everything on himself, it’s just so great and just what I was hoping for: someone to knock some sense into Chika.

Anyway, then Takinami gives us the first hint as to what he intended “I” to mean. To paraphrase “Stop focusing only on what the others mean to you, and begin to think about what you mean to them.” This is something that pretty much everyone in the club has a problem with. They care about each other so much, will stand up for each other, but they don’t think about the fact that all the others care about them just as much. Takinami is trying to shift the focus from “these people are important to me” to “what do I mean to them?” hoping that these oblivious teens will someday get it. This works for so many of the characters.

Firstly, let’s talk about Takezo. He’s been club president from the beginning, and he’s always been a great one but has really come into his own. I think everyone sees him as an amazing club president, a leader that holds them together and believes in all of them as a whole and individually. He doesn’t see himself that way. Takezo has the opening notes of “I”, it all starts with him just how the entire club was brought together by him. He’s explicitly stated that he sometimes wishes that someone like Satowa could begin the song because he’s worried about the fact that his is the first sound in the song. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to give a strong enough opening because he still sees himself as a bit inadequate. But how does the rest of the club see him? They see him as this strong club president, someone who’s always been there as the foundation, so why shouldn’t he be able to start the song and be it’s foundation throughout? So, it would help Takezo if he saw himself the way the rest of the club does, because then he’ll realize just what he means to them and hopefully see what they do in himself.

With Momoya, Takinami made a big deal about the fact that he needed to want to play with the club, and that he had to want it for himself. This ties back to the conversation before Ku-on that Takinami has weaved through “I”. But it was also important for Momoya to take up an identity with his sound, to decide to be something, and own up to being someone with a mutable sound. He can fit in, but it all needs to be his choice. Momoya has also never thought about what he means to the club, and they keep surprising him with how friendly they are and how much they care about him. They just want him to be himself and stay in the club. Hopefully he starts realizing that soon.

If there’s one thing that Chika is truly terrible at it’s realizing his worth, both with himself and with other people. As Tetsuki says in ch.99.5 “I bet Chika never thought that he himself could be thought of dearly by somebody else.” Chika still definitely struggles with that. He has no problem letting everyone else know how much they’re cared for, how much they’re valued, but when it comes to himself, he still doesn’t see how he could be a person someone thinks of as dear. He still sometimes gets surprised by little acts of caring. With all this stuff with Uzuki going on, he’s more worried about the wellbeing of the club, meanwhile all the members are more worried about him than the state of the club. I think that’s almost incomprehensible to Chika, and yet it’s there, and in the next chapter it will hopefully come through loud and clear just how much they all care about him, but especially Satowa as she literally won’t let him do this alone.

Satowa, too, is terrible at realizing how much she means to people, as shown by the fact that Chika and the others literally have to spell it out for her sometimes. She doesn’t like being a burden, she doesn’t want to do anything that would disrupt or upset their lives. But she doesn’t really see how much those people care about her and that when you care about someone like that it isn’t a burden. Satowa’s self-worth is low, at least in some areas, and she always puts the club over her own desires or feelings due to having hurt people before, specifically her mother. Hiro even tells her in Ch.92 that the club can withstand whatever emotions she decides to express, but Satowa doubts that. Satowa, much like Chika, needs to come to the realization that people care more about her than they do the club, and again, thinking of herself from the perspective of how much the other’s care could help her realize this and her place in the club.  

Chika and Satowa both are afraid of being selfish, they don’t want to come off as selfish and they want to put other’s first, but their own feelings realistically get in the way of them being entirely selfless. As Granny says to Chika in ch.77, you have to cherish yourself to be able to give to others and it’s important to think about yourself so that you can have a life you’re happy with. So, both he and Satowa need to start thinking of themselves in a more positive way instead of thinking it’s selfish, which could be helped if they looked at how other’s care about them, which is what “I” is all  about.

Now let’s talk about these two intertwining melodies, one of which will be played by Chika and Satowa and the other by Takezo and Hiro, the section Takinami seems to have set aside for the oblivious lovebirds. Takezo and Hiro have each realized, on their own, that they’re in love with each other, and yet haven’t made the connection that the other feels the same way. Part of this is preservation of the club, but seriously how do you not realize? With Satowa and Chika, it’s even more complicated, and I plan to make a full post about it, but they certainly have never really thought about how the other must feel about them. Later on in the chapter, after Chika’s conversation with Takinami, Chika literally asks Satowa what she thinks of him. Not only did Chika take in what Takinami had to say, in the only way he’d listen which is through koto song terms, he thought about it while he was having lunch with Satowa and was trying to ask her a very important question about it before they were so rudely interrupted by the reminder of just how insane Uzuki is.

I think especially for Chika, Satowa, and Takezo, (who I look at as the main trio) this message of realizing who you are to the people around you is a huge part of their journey. They all need to stop denying themselves their own feelings, which is basically what Takinami was trying to tell them with “I.”

So, I seriously wondered for a while what kind of song Takinami had written for these kids. What better meaning could it have than pushing these people to realize just how much they mean to each other and start focusing on how those they care about see them, not just the other way around? Especially for Takinami, who puts up with a lot but ultimately wants to help these kids and believes in them.

I’m really glad he gave Chika the hint though, because I truly do not believe these kids would’ve gotten what “I” is about if he hadn’t given them that push considering they all avoid thinking about how the other’s must care about them, some of them I think are even afraid to think of it. It’s so perfect and I’m so excited to see where they go with it.  

ps. I’m new to posting and stuff, so please be kind.

[mcyt-amber-tftsmp]

𝐏𝐮𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐎𝐧 𝐌𝐲 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫 {𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐛𝐨𝐛 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫}

Request?: HeartsYeallow

Character: Ranbob

Side Character(s): None

Story-type: Romantic and Fluff

Story Length: 1680 words

AU or Not: AU of sorts where the four fishermen came but never died

Time Period: Future basically

Plot Summary: Y/n went to see Ranbob, walked around Mizu and ended at the library, they started reading the books and the history of the smp for hours and soon y/n started to get sleepy and laid her head on Ranbob shoulder and started to drift of to sleep, Ranbob noticed and gave her a peck on the forehead

Small Info: The title is literally inspired by the song 'Put Your Head On My Shoulder' by Paul Anka and Y/N and Ranbob are already like dating and stuff so yeah

Keywords:

Y/N = Your Name

Trigger Warning: none

Normal Warning: hhhnnnnnnng probs cringe- also preferably short but cute

--------------------------------------------------

Y/N's Point of View~

I was sitting at the beach while I stared into the distance as the soft breeze blew past me. I really didn't have much to do today other than stay here. Suddenly I got the idea of going to Mizu to visit Ranbob. It's been a while since I have seen him.

I quickly got up as I borrowed a boat which was near the docks. I got on it as I paddled towards the direction of where Mizu was located. After what felt like an hour I finally reached Mizu. I carefully got off the boat as my foot stepped on the stoned floor.

By the looks of it, I could tell no one else came down here for a while. I went into the room as I pulled the lever which opened the doorway towards the city. I slowly climbed down as I saw no one was there.

I guess Ranbob was somewhere else. I jumped down from the ladder as I walked down the hallway. It was a pretty quiet walk which was fine since barely anyone other than Ranbob stays in this place. I then reached the cafeteria. At this point I was wondering where Ranbob was.

"Y/N?" I slightly flinched as I heard my name.

I turned my head around to see Ranbob standing on the west side of the cafeteria which was a hallway. He had a look of shock on his face which I guessed he was surprised to see me. I smiled as I ran up and hugged him.

"Hey Ranbob." I softly greeted as he slowly wrapped his arms around me as he returned the hug and kissed the top of my head.

"You have no idea how much I missed you sweetheart." I heard him say with that nickname he gave me which made me blush.

((Author: Please! I would love to have a guy like Ranbob! TwT))

"I missed you too Ran. I really did." I responded back as we stayed in each other's embrace for a while before we let go.

"We have a lot of catching up to do." I said as I saw a smile form on his face.

"Yeah I guess we do." He said.

We talked about many things that have happened recently with us as we walked around Mizu. I honestly didn't have anything interesting to say about what happened with me but Ranbob basically had something interesting. Technically something about four fishermen coming down here a week after I came back.

"They weren't that annoying but there was this guy named Cletus who would get on my last nerves at times. I basically could tell he was Quackity's descendant or something." He said shaking his head as I stifled a giggle.

As we continued I suddenly felt a bit cold as I rubbed both my hands on my arms a bit and I basically figured Ranbob noticed me feeling slightly cold too.

"Are you cold?" He asked as I gave a small nod.

"A little but it's fine really. No need to worry." I said looking down slightly but noticed Ranbob taking off his suit jacket as he came in front and draped it over me.

"Here. It's not much but hopefully it will help you feel warm." He said as I blushed.

"T-Thanks but you didn't have to do that." I said fiddling with my fingers looking down as I felt him put a hand on my shoulder as he used the other on my chin and made me face him as I looked at his heterochromatic eyes.

"I didn't have to, I wanted to because I love and care about you." he said as he slowly leaned in and kissed me passionately on the lips as I kissed back.

We eventually pulled away. The kiss didn't last too long but it was passionate and short which wasn't so bad. I just missed the feeling of being close to him since it has been a while I have seen him.

"Why don't we head over to the library considering it's one of your favorite places?" He said with a smile as I nodded returning the smile.

"Okay." I said as he lead the way.

The walk to the library wasn't very long even though we did have to take a few stops and turns along the way considering the place is pretty big and Ranbob didn't really have much of a good memory like his ancestor, Ranboo but at least he remembered most of the things.

Eventually we reached the library door as Ranbob fished out the key from his pockets as he opened the library. When I say the library was huge, I actually mean that it's very huge. There were many shelves of books written by the people back in the Dream SMP and more.

We took out a few books which we thought about reading as we took them to a table as we sat side by side to read them. It was fun to be honest. Reading is a huge passion of mine and I love many forms of history.

What I found most interesting was how Ranboo was platonically married to Tubbo and had an adoptive zombie-piglin child named Michael. The reason it was amusing was that how Michael was halfway related to Ranbob but he chose not to speak about this.

I also found FoolishG's history interesting too considering he was half totem-shark and half human demigod/god of undying. He was one of my favorites besides Ranboo, Tommy, Tubbo and Purpled.

After many hours of reading and discussing things with Ranbob, I started to feel a little tired and possibly sleepy. I slowly laid down my head on Ranbob's shoulder as I slowly drifted off to sleep.

Ranbob's Point of View~

I was looking at a book when I felt something on my shoulder. I turned my head to see Y/N putting her head on my shoulder and saw that she fell asleep. I smiled as I looked at her sleeping figure as she looked pretty peaceful while sleeping.

I gave her a small kiss on the forehead as I carefully picked her up in bridal style as I carried her towards my room to lay her down. I was kind of glad that the library was at a location where my room was close by.

When I reached it, I used my foot to slowly open it as I entered my room and laid her down on one side of my bed as I then later laid down on the opposite side of the bed and wrapped my arms around her sleeping figure as she faced me.

"Goodnight sweetheart." I whispered as I gave her a small peck on the side of her forehead as I laid back down and closed my eyes and slowly drifted of to sleep myself.

After what felt like a few good hours of sleep, I sensed slight movement beside me as I slowly opened my right eye to see that Y/N was already awake and she also must have noticed that I have slightly awoken as well.

"Good morning sweetheart." I said in my usual morning voice which I noticed how Y/N blushed at that and this made me smirk at her reaction to it.

"M-morning Ranbob." I heard her stutter which made me chuckle in response.

"You are cute when you're flustered." I said which made her blush even more as she hid her face in the crook of my neck in embarrassment.

I just chuckled at her flustered action. I smiled and scooted down a little as we made eye contact. Then I leaned in and gave her a light kiss on the lips and then I went to her neck as I slightly nuzzled it.

I felt her fingers going up and lacing through my hair as I hummed feeling pleased. Then I started to attack her neck by giving a few kisses which instantly made her giggle. God her giggles were intoxicating to me. It always made me happy hearing her laugh.

"R-Ranbob. S-stop! It tickles!" I heard her saying between small giggles as I paused thinking about it.

"Hmm... Nope!" I responded as I continued to do what I was doing earlier as I got a few giggles out of her.

I eventually stopped as I let out a small chuckle as I looked at her blushing and flustered face. She then slowly cuddled up to me as she buried her face in my chest as i still had my arms wrapped around her and kissed the top of her head.

"I love you Ranbob." I heard her say as I smiled looking at her.

"I love you more Sweetheart." I responded as I let out a sigh.

I don't ever want to let her go. I don't know what I would do if I ever did. I love her so much to even do that. I promised myself that I would love her till the day I die.

And I am planning on keeping my promise for her.

She's my everything.

--------------------------------------------------

Part II: His Promise

[petra-realsnk]

Rivetra fanfic (divergence au)

Hello guys! I’ve finally finished the first chapter of my first fanfic ever. I must warn you this is just an introduction that sets the premise for what’s coming next, so the pacing will be quite fast in this one. I preferred to do it this way so you won’t have to wait too long for their interactions to happen. I also apologize in advance for any grammar mistakes since English isn’t my first language. This was quite hard to do! I changed some details of the list I posted a couple days ago because I felt it would work better this way. 

This story will rely a lot on the blanks left by Isayama when dealing with Petra and Levi’s relationship, giving these characters a chance to reflect about the nature of their connection, responsability, and the pain of those things which just cannot be (the drama will be served lol). I will also be uploading it on AO3 later on. 

Warnings: depictions of violence, angst, sadness or anguish.  

All the characters belong to Hajime Isayama.

 Tagging: @mikamoony thanks for the support! 

Digging up a grave (Chapter 1)

After the resounding failure of the 57th expedition, the troops of the survey corps retreat hastily towards the shelter of the walls. Humanity has only recently learned about the existence of intelligent titans, of unexpected human nature, although even more surprises remain hidden on the abandoned battlefield... ( 2617 words)

She never reached: 

After so many years fighting, he had grown used to the feeling of having every part of his body active, the tingling blood through his limbs and the acceleration of his perception. In such a tense moment, the sound of the chariot wheels became unconsciously annoying, increasing his anxiety. It was a monotonous and stable noise, almost as much as the danger to which they were constantly subjected. Unfortunately, however, not frantic enough to keep them away from the rumbling of gigantic footsteps dangerously approaching them. It didn't take much reasoning to figure out that getting rid of their fallen comrades was the most effective way to increase their speed and save themselves. However, it took him a moment to vocalize the decision. There was something about it that felt wrong, as if  he was repeating his mistake by leaving them behind. Somehow, it comforted him to know that with that decision he was valuing their sacrifice, for he couldn't let their deaths lead to more casualties. After exchanging several shouts, the tail boards opened, dropping those bodies whose rescue had already posed a considerable risk. 

If the sound of the carts already sapped their weary minds, now it was added the dreadful crash of their friends against the ground, some of them to be eaten by the titans, others to be crushed and forgotten in the same place they went to find their freedom but instead found their deaths. 

Levi tried uselessly to take his gaze away from that sight, he knew it was his job to supervise his soldiers, but his eyes couldn't help searching for her silhouette in each covered figure. He remembered in detail where he had placed her, how he had tied her shroud and tried to keep her badge for himself... So when her body fell, accidentally revealing flocks of strawberry blonde hair,�� he was there this time, looking at her once more. Levi felt his stomach drop as if a ball of air had suddenly fallen from his constipated chest. Soon the chariots were able to increase their speeds, distancing them forever, and leaving him with the certainty that now he’ll never know. 

--- 

Hidden in the forest were some still unknown figures. Among them Zeke, whose power had allowed him to approach the battlefield safely. The traitors of humanity had been undercover in the army for several years, but he still felt the need to test the waters for himself, in order to decide how they were going to carry out their next plan. He knew that Annie was in danger, and that Reiner and Bertolt’s identities were soon to be discovered. To his surprise, he found himself in the ideal situation to test out Marley's new weapon. He had brought the silver box with the hope that something similar would happen, but not so incredibly suitable. According to the army leaders, this new product would be able to resurrect and turn corpses into pure titans. This could be a great advantage, since they would be able to profit their soldiers for a little longer. Besides, Paradis was the right place to carry out the experiment on a larger scale without major expense; they wouldn't need ammunition to kill the transformed nor almost any type of security measure (if carried out by someone like Zeke). He just had to wait for the troops to move away and hopefully find some almost complete remains of Eldian soldiers.

He used the scream of his beast titan to stop the nearest pure ones, this way he made sure no more corpses were being eaten nearby, plus making it safe for him to approach them in his human form.

Soon after, Zeke found himself in the middle of a large clearing in the forest, covered in blood and stained white fabrics, revealing what until not long ago would have been humans, although the passage of the titans had left another impression.

Walking among the horrid sight and by seeing the placement of the bodies, he quickly deduced what could have happened. The titans who until recently feasted were now immobile due to his control. Near one of their huge feet, Zeke finds a body whose bones were totally shattered, especially his back, although it remained in one piece. One bare arm revealed a small, pale-skinned hand with the marks of a bite. He quickly noticed it was a young woman, though his face remained unaffected by the sorrowful sight. After a few moments, he raised his gaze from the ground and continued his way in search of complete victims. The sun began to set as Zeke paced, unaffected by the intimidating presence of the titans, luckily finding six more bodies that could be useful. After having deliberated on the state of all of them, he decided which ones were the most likely to become functional beasts. He placed them at a relative distance from each other, facing down, and opened the cold gray box with four syringes. He prepared them all at once, and took a defeated sigh. 

With a relative dose of nervousness, he injected all four bodies as fast as he could, hoping to take the necessary time before they transformed. Unfortunately, when injecting the third body, it hatched immediately, having to flee quickly after only being able to transform three.

In the next few moments he watched as the first titan manifested in a very unstable form. Despite his transformation, he had not managed to regenerate his left arm and one of his legs, which left him lying on the ground. The next one was better, at about 3 or 4 meters high, he could walk despite having slight asymmetries. Finally, the first body injected gave rise to a titan with reddish hair and whose stability was quite doubtful as well. It was clear that her broken back had not managed to regenerate fully, remaining twisted. Despite this, what at one point was Petra Ral herself managed to get up off the ground and move. Seeing such failures Zeke could not help but sigh again, doubting the effectiveness of this discovery. 

The experiment had only half worked. It wasn’t really useful to create a functional army, although it could restore the life of some would-be titan shifter. In any case, these creatures, whose peace had just been disrupted, were now  problem of the survey corps, or at least that’s what he thought… 

---

It would be difficult to say if any aspect of her consciousness ever awakened. Her skin burned, and even though her eyes were open her mind remained black. The creature struggled toward the forest, occasionally stumbling through the trees, causing it no pain or frustration. Some aspect of her, however, was still present. As when one is about to fall asleep and has the sensation of suddenly plunging, Petra would not stop falling. Perhaps it was a loop of her lasts seconds: the lack of gravity and the air leaving her body.  What happened in a single instant had turned into a thick mass that occupied her mind all the time. She remained in that limbo until a depression in the ground made her fall into a ditch, being covered by some bushes, product of the humidity of the area.

The sunlight barely penetrated the foliage, leaving her misshapen body useless. Surprisingly, something about her state came to affect her ... The coldness of the shadow and the shelter of the earth briefly embraced her as she relived her nightmares.

There she laid, indifferent to the passage of time, until suddenly something appeared before her. Among the undergrowth, the titan saw the figure of a woman dragging a smoking limbless body and gently laying it on the ground, near the ditch's entrance. Unaware of the titan's presence, Pieck tried to catch her breath before rejoining the Marleyan fleet. They had managed to exterminate much of the Eldian army, but Reiner, Zeke and Porco were on the brink of death, and they had lost the colossal titan too. She had spent a long time transformed, and her injuries had also forced her to take a break in her human form. Right now, they were especially vulnerable, and Pieck could only pray that she could regain her strength and transform again. She then took several steps away to see how the regeneration of her other two companions was going, and in a matter of seconds, the previously invisible titan catapulted from her hiding place, devouring Porco completely.

Pieck had not yet regained all of her strength, and she could only stare in horror at the result of her mistake. When the shock left her body, she grabbed her companions by their collars and tried to drag them as far as she could, even though they were twice her size. Luckily for them, the titan's physical problems and her unevenness prevented her from rising. Pieck's observant nature made her immediately aware of it, and she thought that perhaps she could wait there for it to regain its human form to devour the lost titan again. However, there would still be more titans around them, and it was a priority now to protect her remaining friends. Perhaps thanks to the adrenaline of the moment she managed to transform, took her companions between her jaws and escaped from that place. Pieck knew that retreating was the safest option for the moment, and it eased her mind to think that the survey corps weren’t likely to find the titan before them. And if they did, it would fall back into their hands soon enough. 

---

She took a sudden gasp that woke her up. Her breathing was uneven, and her senses betrayed her. As the heat of the late afternoon sun touched her smoky skin, Petra had the sensation of having awakened from a long nightmare that she could not quite remember. When she finally half-opened her eyes she felt relieved, but within seconds she fell asleep again. She remained there for hours, torn between lethargy and consciousness. Little by little, the consciousness of "self" returned to her, but she couldn’t help feeling that now there was someone else…

Her dreams sharpened, and the moments of her awakening became clearer. At some point Petra thought that maybe she was resting injured on some makeshift base. The night fell on her and she began to feel the cold on her naked body, making her revisit her dreams once again. The dew of dawn was not long in coming, waking her from her visions. For a moment, in the orange light, she wondered to whom that cup belonged, to whom she was speaking, what was that emotion that felt warm in her chest but cold in her arms... 

Suddenly, the hum of metal pulleys brought her back to life.

Flying over the trees there was a small crew of the survey corps, following an 8-meter titan that was coming towards her. In the blink of an eye,  the creature collapsed on the ground without giving Petra time to identify the situation she was in.

The recovery of Maria Wall had resulted in the almost total extinction of the brigade, but such a victory for humanity and the secrets discovered had pushed some members of the military police to join them, making it possible to carry out modest expeditions near the walls, exterminating the titans that didn't get close enough to be eliminated from the other side. Leading this team was commander Hange Zoë, who had taken over after Erwim's death. She along with Levi were in charge of leading a small group made up of some members of the 104th and a few newbies.

Among the survivors of the last battle was Jean Kristein, who was the first to notice her presence. When he saw the young naked woman lying on the ground, he stopped in his tracks, watching her for a few seconds without being able to believe his eyes. He then threw a black flare, which immediately caught the attention of his companions, who came to help him. Unable to hide the stupor in his expression Jean yelled at Hange "Commander, there’s a human lying on the ground with shifter marks!" 

Hearing this, Levi who had not yet changed the course of his trajectory made a violent turn fearing the worst. Seconds later the new recruits followed, visibly terrified of the finding, yet ready for battle.

When Hange landed on the tree Jean was anchored, she was completely paralyzed. "This can't be true ..." After a few moments, she quickly threw herself to ground level, while Jean followed her fearing a surprise attack. The reaction continued in a chain after seeing the reckless action of the commander. They were still trying to digest Erwin's death, and Levi was quick to yell Hange to get away from the suspicious figure. 

Hange by then was completely bent over Petra's body, "Hey, Petra, is it really you? Can you hear me? What happened?" Jean was slightly further back, a little calmer after deducing that it was an acquaintance, although he didn’t understand how. The way they were arranged covered her up, so when Levi reached the ground he couldn’t see her face at first, but felt slightly disappointed that the legs he saw couldn't be Zeke’s... Hange kept muttering an impossible amount of questions to the woman. Levi proceeded to approach her more calmly after realizing that she couldn’t move. 

"Hey Hange, could you tell me what-". He froze in a way he probably never did before. 

For a few instances his mind seemed to disassociate from what he was seeing. He recognized her face, but was unable to connect the information that reached him. A horrible sense of relief and guilt engulfed him, leaving him expressionless before Petra's immobile anatomy. 

The girl was lying on her side, visibly weakened from having spent God knows how long in the open. Her face looked tired and sad, and her eyes were framed by the marks of her transformation. It was obvious that Petra had been turned into a titan, although this should have happened after her death, something they discovered was possible in that exact moment. Not that Levi wasn't happy to see her, but the guilt of seeing her fall victim to this conflict once again was greater. Her body had been left outside the walls and now she had been forced to return to this hell, through a power that would force her to die once again soon. Once Levi came back to reality, he unbuttoned his cloak and put it over her uncovered torso. Hange had never paid much attention to decorum, much less when something fascinated her, and the other cadets did not dare to approach. Petra’s honey eyes fell on him, and he could feel that it was her, even though she was not quite there ... It was almost impossible to believe that he was seeing her, covered with the cloak that he hadn’t been able to get rid of even after changing their uniforms, decorated with the same wings that he had plucked from her badge that day.

"Petra” He said in disbelief  “Can you hear us? ..."

"Hmn ..." She managed to pronounce.

Hange screamed with excitement once she saw Petra was finally responding. They immediately brought the horses so they could finally return her inside the walls. The sound of her voice had brought Levi back to his senses, who was already taking care of ordering their retreat. Perhaps he could give her father different news from that time… But what would he tell him exactly? He knew perfectly well that his daughter was now in a limbo, carrying a curse.

[popculturebuffet]

Lilo and Stitch Crossovers: “Morpholomew” (American Dragon Long): Stop Trying to Make Am Drag a Thing (Commisson Done For WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people! And welcome to a brand new retrospective/story arc/thing from yours truly, comissoned directly by WeirdKev27. If you’d like to comission your own review or set of reviews like this one, it’s 5 bucks. Just contact me via my ask box or direct messages on this very blog or my discord technicolormuk#6550.

With Shadow Into Light in the books, Kev decided he wanted to comission something not duck related and a bit smaller as a buffer before the next big arc, ALL of three arcs from season 2 of Ducktales, and decided to go with something he suggested to be a while back as a possible future retrospective: The Lilo and Stitch Crossover episodes! 

That’s right for the next three weeks, with TWO reviews this week since I had a spot open up and Kev paid for this one in full and way in advance, we’ll be taking a trip to Hawaii to visit everyone’s faviorte little girl, her best friend/pet/killing machine as they try to find homes for his 625 cousins. 

I loved Lilo and Stitch when I was a kid: Disney admitely got their hooks in me on that one with their cool prequel comics in disney adventures. These comics set up the movie, showing Jumba creating Stitch and the events leading up to both getting captured. The movie did not disapoint with cool character designs, a drop dead gorgeous recreation of Hawaii, and a really heartfelt, heartbreaking and heartpumping story of loss, family, and ving rahmes voicing one of the few heroic child services workers i’ve seen in a medium, a refreshing change of pace. The film is a masterpiece and I really do need to watch it again sometime. 

Given the series was a huge hit and that thsi was before the big lull in the late 2000′s and early 2010′s where Disney refused to make any tv shows based on their movies, a series followed, given a lead in by the direct to video movie Stitch.

The movie set up the basic premise; 624 capsules containing Jumba’s previous experiments, cousins as Stitch calls them, ended up raining over Kauai, awakening when dropped into water or any other liquid. Lilo and Stitch, with help from Jumba, his live in boyfriend Pleakley, her tought but fair sister Nani, and her boyfriend David, who dosen’t show up as much as i’d like but is my boy so he gets a mention here. But anyways our heroes try to reform the various engines of distructoin who all have unique powers and find them their one place they truly belong. 

So yes the show was a Mons-type show clearly captalizing off pokemon.. but the slice of life setting as opposed to the shonen style of most shows following in pokemon’s wake, gave it it’s own unique feel: while our heroes did fight, it was more about shenanigans, adventures and what not with these unique creatures and the purpose is very heartflet: Lilo simply wants to give these guys the same kind of love and support she’s given Stitch and a chance to do good. 

Opposing them is Gantu, the shark bounty hunter from the first film who, now out of a job, is working for Dr. Hamstervile, an imprisoned sceintest and a character I really don’t like that much as he’s not funny or a genuine threat or both and feels like a waste of time. Thankfully he’s not the focus and Gantu is instead partnered with 625, my faviorite Lilo and Stitch character. 625, as the name suggests, is stitch’s immediate prototype.. but unlike Stitch is too lazy and peaceful to be a real threat and isn’t even really a villian despite being on Gantu’s side. He’s busy making samwitches, his calling to the point when he gets a name in the finale movie it’s naturally Ruben, and snarking at gantu. He’s sadly not in this one but hopefully it’s JUST this one. 

As you can tell I liked this show a LOT at the time. I haven’t watched it since, mostly because disney scarely replayed it after it’s run, but it was vibrant, fun and intresting and a nicely laidback and creative take. The fact I came into the franchise with the comics and thus 625, who was introduced there in fact, and had a hunger to know more about the other experiments certainly helped. It was great fun. 

But while I grew up with the show and the four shows it teamed up with, i’ve never seen these episodes before these reviews. I wondered why for years as I caught the tail end of the kim possible one and saw images ocasionally, but never saw them. 

Turns out it’s because in general Season 2 got screwed over. While Season 1 was pushed out the door fast and aired at a rapid pace Season 2.. was portioned out over several years, and the Recess crossover one, the last one aired and the last one i’ll be covering never even got to Disney channel, only airing on ABC kids, DIsney’s saturday morning block at the time I rarely watched. I did watch it’s predecessor one saturday morning though. Good stuff. 

Since I couldn’t find any making of stuff for why these episodes happened, my best guess is DIsney wanted some cross promotion, and the shows used were chosen because they were the most popular at the time and honestly all 4 represent some of disney’s best, with Recess being in heavy reruns at the time, hence i’ts conclusion despite the show being finished before Lilo And Stitch the movie came out, let alone the series. 

So yeah i’m taking this ride for the first time.. but I was happy to. While Kev pays for a lot of my work, I still have to accept the idea.. and this was a great one. It allows me to cover 5 amazing series and gage how much people would want to see reviews of said series on this blog in one fell swoop.

So to kick us off we have American Dragon: Jake Long, a series I waited forever to come to Disney + as I loved it at the time, badly need to rewatch it (Been busy ), and find it genuinely great: It’s a great teen superhero story about the magical protector of new york, with a charming lead, a great setting and horrifcally great villians in the violently racist magic creature hunting huntsclan.. and their top agent who happens to be jake’s love intrest Rose. It’s really excellent and i’m glad it’s now widely avaliable for all to see. I will say ahead that all four shows in this crossover arc are excellent, and were fine choices for this. 

So what happens when an action comedy about a hip hop teenage dragon meets a slice of life show about aliens? Find out under the cut. 

So we open at a fancy hotel where Lilo’s bringing lunch to her sister Nani when she runs into.. Keoni Jameson. 

The second I remembered this kid all the hate just came flooding back, coursing through my veigns. Just pure liquid hatred for this little perosnalitiless little punk. Keoni is Lilo’s crush and local “stupid white audience stand in”. He has no real personality other than “generic cool kid” and “likes skating”, and just sucks the air out of the room anytime he’s in an episode. Keoni is part of a recurring problem in cartoons across the ages, one that’s slowly going away: the bland love intrest. Intorducing a character whose only traits are being cool for the lead to fawn over with usually no intent of either getting the two togehter or just ending it. IT’s annoying, it was in a good chunk of my childhood, I wish it’d stop. I cannot tell you how many shows used this trope. There were exceptions, American Dragon Jake Long actually used it well by not only making Rose a fleshed out character..  but making her jake’s nemisis in their other lives, and thus making things increidbly difficult on both once the truth comes out, with Jake grappling with if he can trust her or not and Rose grappling with the slow relization eveyrthing she was taught her whole life was wrong.

And again I have seen GOOD storylines using this as a tool: Dipper and Wendy ended with her having been aware teh whole time, but simply not knowing how to let him down given the age gap, and Regular Show rebounded the best from it: it turned the stop and start relatoinshpi of Mordecai and Margret’s relationship into a character flaw for him, openly explored it.. and ended up having him work past it and actually date her for a bit. Before she moved away, he got an even better love interest, then they destoryed the relationship in the worst way posisble and I wil lbe getting to that at some point. Some point. 

So yeah even at the time it was done better, hindsight haas only made it worse and it made watching the first few minutes tough because I had to keep pasuing because I hate him so damn much. He just adds NOTHING to the show and is a blank yanwing void from which no good came out of and I was terrified he’d be in the rest of the episode. Thankfully while he drives the plot he’s only in this scene.. but it’s still one more scene than both 625 and Pleakly got. yeah both are missing, as is nani. 

I did uncover one fun fact that made things a bit easier though: The crew ALSO hated Keoni. No really. Disney forced the character on them as they wanted an audience surrogate, and this abomination is what popped out. They DID NOT want him here and likely only used him as mcuh as they did because Disney forced it on them. And Disney would NOT learn from this as Star Vs got saddled with Alphonso and Ferguson soley because of network mandate. The two aren’t TERRIBLE characters but they aren’t great and feel as tacked on as they were. And part of this does fall on the crew: you CAN twist a stupid mandate like this to work well: Joe Murray was asked to add “A female character with a hook”, as in some sort of dumb gimmick to Rocko. He used those words, meant to create a superfical girl power cardboard cutout.. and created the wonderful Dr. Hutchenson, a bright cheery doctor, the series best sidecharacter.. and someone with a hook hand. But I won’t go too hard on them: they probably didn’t have as much room to manuver and the fact Keoni was sitll being shoved into episodes in season 2 tells me they likely had a set number of episodes he had to show up. I’m suprised they didn’t demand they have characters ask “Where’s Keonie?” any time he wasn’t in an episode. He was unecessary and it comes across with a massive chunk of unforutnate implications: that they didn’t think a series with a mostly hawaiann cast would work, that they wanted at least one other “nice” white character to offset myrtle instead of having the only major white character be a bully and antagonist, and that they thought tehir mostly white audience coudln’t enjoy a series without a white character, which as someone who was in the target demo at the time, I call bullshit on. As I said I hated him then, I hate him now and his involvement is the worst aspect of this episode. 

So after Lilo fawns over him for a bit we find out this chonk of wood’s purpose in the episode: to set up the plot. There’s a massive Skate Competition coming to town with the prize being a really cool skateboard.  This plot point itself.. I don’t mind. Jake is a skater, it’s part of his character and one of the things he loves doing in what minsicule spare time he has. And while it was a common trope at the time having a character skateboard really dosen’t harm most works. We’ve gotten great characters like Jake, Jackie Lynn Thomas, Branwen and Ronnie Anne Santiago out of it, and it feels like natural parts of the character, and frankly An Extremley Goofy Movie wouldn’t be NEARLY as awesome without having skateboarding bizzarley attached to the plot via the college x-games. Granted somtimes you get Rocket Power out of the deal but that’s the price you pay for the good stuff. I only regret it’s involved because Keoni has to be there and I had to pause multiple times to get through his scene. He’s just a sampler platter of terrible decisions made in 2000′s cartoons and he irritates me more than this guy. 

And anyone whose read my Loud House reviews can tell you that is a high bar to clear. 

So naturally Lilo wants to enter the Hawiann X-Games to get the board for Keoni. Though I will give the writers credit for having Stitch voice their thoughts and the audiences thoughts by having him take Keoni’s picture and throw it in the garbage. Where he belongs. 

Lilo’s not great at it as they practice.. and said practice naturally ends up waking up a new experiment, 316.. who i’m just going to go ahead and call Morpholomew. Stitch eventually catches him though like many of the experiments he’s not actively malevelolent and is easy enough to get home. 

Jumba gets to his schitck of breaking down what the experiment of the week does: In this case Morpholomew is  a shapeshifter though he has a VERY intresting twist on those powers: while he can naturally morph himself into anything he’s seen or has a picture of, he can do the same to anyone he touches. It dosen’t effect their voices, but otherwise it’s a perfect recreation. 

So Lilo instead of finding him a home right away.. decides to wait until after the compettition because we need him for the plot. 

So at the Skateboard Competittion Lilo tries to enter, but finds she’s too young.. but since she has a picture of Keoni, which is a nice way to use her photo hobby from the movie for plot reasons and thus dosen’t feel like an ass pull. Why Keoni’s not in town to skate is as his dad left because it’d be too crowded.. even though the event is at the resort he owns. 

So while Lilo commits identtity theft, our guest star appears. He’s cool, he’s hot like a frozen son, he’s young and fast he’s the chosen one, people i’m not braggin, i’ts the American Dragon. Jake is here for two reasons: the first is that Grandpa Long got reports of magical creatures out in the open, so naturally they need to look into that. It’s a clever way to get him, along with Grandpa, Fu, Trixie and Spud, over to Hawaii. The Dragon Council would defintely be suspcious hearing about this, and my guess to why they hadn’t sent another dragon over is they simply dont’ have one on the islands. As for why the Huntsclan didn’t get involved in any way, it’s simply too public for them.  With the magical community in new york, they don’t have to worry about exposure because neither side wants it, so neither side can out the other. Here with a bunch of creatures out in the open it runs the risk of the Hunstclan being dragged into the light.. and given the populace dosne’t care about the “magical creatures” alongside them, it would make them look like the monsters they are. 

Spud and Trixie tagging along also makes sense besides “they needed them for the plot”: While they’d obviously want to come to Hawaii, the skate competition is likely Jake’s cover for why he’s there, as well as one for why it’s just him and grandpa going with a couple of his friends so they don’t have to deal with manuvering around jake’s dad. That sad them never TELLING jake’s Dad is it’s own can of worms as it feels cruel, made things harder for jake and there was no real reason not to. At worst he’d want Jake to stop for his own saftey but given ther’es an active threat in  the huntsclan for the first season and a half, NOT helping people would be the right thing and I feel he’s a sensible enough man to understand eventually. 

And it’s stuff like this that already makes this crossover really work for me: they don’t really have to strain to get Jake over there or tell the audience heavily, the blanks fill in themslves. Or I am but that’s because it’s my job and I love doin it. 

So everyone goes off to their corners; Jake to do a few practice runs, Foo Dog to bet on his friend because of course, Trixie and Spud to go to the beach (even though Spud’s terrified of sharks so I question why Trixie needs him for this), and in a delightfully adorable subplot, finds a lady to woo: local fruit stand vendoer and crankly old lady Mrs. Hasagawa. 

I am here for this subplot: While Grandpa not focusing on the mission is weird for him that’s the entire point.. and their just really cute together. He’s smitten with her entirely because he sees her chewing out one of the people running the contest for making her sign too small. And he performs one hell of a romantic gesture by, while everyone’s back is turned, using his dragon fire to make an add for her on the skate ramp itself, and they have a lovely montage of their time together.. which also weirdly includes grandpa using his dragon fire on stage inf ront of everyone which makes no sense for his charcter but is so cute and does feature david I really don’t care. The writers of Lilo and Stitch probably weren’t deeply familiar with the show and likely just wanted a fun gag. Could be wrong there but it’s cute. He continues to act grossly out of character by trying to avoid going home at the end.. but again I find it simply because he’s in love, they have genuine chemstiry and I like to think they stayed in touch and he retired out there at some point once Jake was old enough to handle things himself. This may not be a ship I expected to support going in but I will die for it going out. 

So back to the main plot, Lilo uses Keoni’s body to imitate him which... she’s only loosely called out on and realizes is bad by the end only because she gets stuck in another body. And that’s not even getting into the fact she BREAKS UP WITH KEONI’S GIRLFRIEND. Yes really.. she just does that to get her out of the way. She comes around and realizes she was wrong and tries to fix it which would be fine.. if hte episode didn’t try to cop it out by revealing “Oh she’s not his girlfriend, she’s just someone who keeps telling people that”. It just feels lazy and dumb and a way to keep Lilo’s crush on Keoni for reasons I DO. NOT. GET. But the identity theft is just brushed aside by everyone: Keoni never finds out, and Jake just brushes it off. The real issue is more her trying to bribe keoni into likng her which while something kids need to learn is not the only thing she did wrong here. It feels like they didn’t think all the implications out here and it hampers the episode

Speaking of which as Gantu captures Jake, he sees him transform into dragon mode and assumes he’s the experiment, Jake’s charactization is pretty shallow.  And why yes it DOES feel weird writing sentences about a character with the same name thank you for asking. I wasn’t expecting a deep character piece or anything: This is a guest spot, the writers here are not the same normal ones for American Dragon. That’s fine. The problem.. is that they clearly did not get Jake. Grandpa being partly out of character is half the joke, Trixie actually gets a really nice moment towards the end, and Spud.. is eh. But out of them Jake just feels like a basic character description: He likes hip hop, he likes skateboards, he calls himself Am Drag despite that sounding like a good name for a drag act but a terrible name to shorten your title, he fights.. that’s it. 

While jake is all of that in the main series, he’s also a kind young man who while sometimes irresponsible does the right thing when the chips are down.  He’s someone weighed down by a responsiblity he didn’t ask for, often makes his life more difficult and often finds himself in trouble because his mother and grandfather won’t bother to tell his dad he’s a dragon. Yes that part still bothers me, and I don’t see why we couldn’t just have a superhero show where both parents know. But regardless this just dosen’t feel like Jake , like they just watched the intro and that was it. Jake feels more like a plot device in his own crossover. 

That being said there is some good stuff: The minute Jake realizes some Sci Fi stuff is going on instead of hte normal magic stuff he tells him “The am drag’s show isn’t about sci fi” a nice meta bit and then breaks out. Meanwhile Lilo takes on his form.. and ends up stuck after badly botching her run again, as Gantu finds the real shapeshifter. 

We get the best stretch of the episode from here though: Lilo awkardly tries to play jake and like jake we get a nice meta nod to how diffrent their show is as she’s worried about his belief in magical creatures.. and is startled out of her charade when Foo Dog talks, a really nice bit especially since it’s tame compared to the weirdness he deals with. Spud and Trixie have questions... only for Jake to show up and his agressive behavior leads to the best bit of the episode: Jake Vs Stitch. The catlyst is understandable: jake has no idea why Lilo’s taken his identity and Sttich is just protecting his best friend from harm. The animation is fluid, the fight is fun and quick and uses both’s powers stellarl. Whle “two heroes get into a misunderstanding and then fight” is a well worn cliche at this point, it’s moments like this that show why: you get to see two heroes who in this case never have interacted before or sense, duke it out, why each is special and it’s fun to watch. 

Lilo breaks it up, and admits to the whole thing.. including the whole give Keani the board stuff. While Jake and Spud, being awkard with girls and a loveable moron don’t see the problem with that Trixie gets a moment to shine. As far as I can remember she really didn’t get much on the show proper so it was a nice suprise to see her mentor lilo her, telling her trying to give someone gifts to love you is not okay, she should just be herself all that good stuff. It’s a nice character stuff and tha’ts the kind of character interaction this episode needed more of. 

With the misunderstandings washed away our heroes team up and storm gantu’s ship leading to another great sequence as Stitch rides on Jake’s back while the two keep him busy and Lilo gets turned back, Trixie complimenting her dress “Thanks I have 10 just like it at home”. It’s such a sweet and genuine moment” They head back out and gantu semeingly grabs morpholmew from where they hide.. only to find out when he gets back it’s spud, our adorable little blob monster transforming Gantu into a bunny and our heroes leaving. How does Gantu get out of being a bunny?

But it’s a nice enough gag. So we end the episode. We get another nice gag as grandpa had himself and his lady transformed to try and avoid going home, and Jake is fine with having lost out on the board what matters is he made a friend. Sadly we did not get a followup in ADJL., but spud does name our experiment, Morpholomew. 

We end on Morph getting his home: a costume shop where he gets paid in fried chicken, he was shown to enjoy it throughtout the episode and changes people into things. It’s a nice little button to the episode and one of the funnest parts of the show was figuring out where the experiment would end up at the end. 

Final Thoughts:

This episode is a really mixed bag. There is some good character interactions, two tremendous fight scens and Trixie gets a chance to shine for once if only for a scene or two, and the clashing genres end up making for some great jokes> The shows do go well together as while Lilo and Stitch is more laid back both have slice of life elements. And hasgawa X Grandpa is just oto cute for words. 

The episode is held back by Jake and Lilo’s lackluster characterizatons: Jake is simply the theme song as a character, which in theory is awesome because that theme song slaps but in practice is pretty lame, and Lilo is selfish and irresponsible even for her in a way that dosen’t feel at all convincing. It drags down what’s otherwise a fun crossover and Morpholomew is truly a unique and wonderful experiment. Still if you like either show it’s worth a watch even if you have to suffer through Keoni for it. It’s worth it.. I just wish it was better and hopefully the next 3 will keep the good parts but take out the bad. Granted this was produced last so I could be wrong, but here’s hoping.  Oh this episode also featured Miranda Cosgrove as the girl who claims to be Keoni’s girlfriend. This is also Keoni’s last episode meaning I do NOT have to worry about accidently running into him. Thank fucking christ. 

Next Time On American Dragon Jake Long: Jake’s dad drags him and his friends on a camping trip and Jake ends up encountering the Jersey Devil. Now all they need is a sexy lady devil cake to lure it out... what it worked for the Cake Boss. And yes that happened, Allison Pregler did an episode on that episode. Check it out. 

Next Time On Lilo and Stitch Crossovers: It’s the family, the family, proud familllyyy as the Prouds take a vacation at Peakly and Jumbas bed but not breakfast and we get some kind of squirrel demon for our experiment of the week. We also get Wizard Kelly appearing...

See you at the next rainbow. 

[recurring-polynya]

I have to say I knew that at one point renji, ikkaku, yumichika and iba were in the same squad with kenpachi but good god you managed to paint a beautiful picture for me. I simply assumed that for them it was simply party time all the time along with a few bald jokes but this is much better. Emotionally healthy squad 11 which still love fighting more than anything. I always cringed when someone would just describe them as hooligans that do nothing but fighting. I mean they do that too but I love the idea that they are all emotionally healthy and mature, a loving and supportive family to their own - in their own wakka doodoo kind of way thats endearing - and of course they are in my opinion they single capable force against sexisim. Because they don't care about anything else - gendere, sexuality, gender performances, race, mentality or anything - other than if you fight good you respectable and if you fight good in squad 11 you family. ( like when kenpachi just became captain he made yachiru his lieutenant and no one was against it no one thought it was beneath them, sure thru nag at her sometimes but that's mostly in a banter like way because she call them stupid nicknames but no one hates her for being unrightfully their superior. One day they got a new captain and a new lieutenant that's a child and they just went with it.) I admit their disdain and disrespect to squad 4 is still frowned upon but I do believe some squad 4s can handle their own, it's just that we saw the really peaceful ones. Anyways sorry for ranting. Just wanted to say that yeah, I really like how the past squad 11 with iba and renji in it was a great place in general. I think if they found out some one was being sexist - for whatever reason - they would be there right next to nanao - or iba's mom protesting. Kenpachi and yachiru as well. And that makes me want to be squad 11 ,despite not being much for fighting, so bad.

So, for starters, thanks! I try to have fun whenever I write Squad 11, and I’m glad you enjoy my take on them.

My Squad 11 is just... really not very canon, though. Canon Squad 11 is actually pretty gross and sexist. Yumichika is transphobic, Kenpachi makes homophobic remarks about Yumichika, they bully Squad 4, there’s a filler episode devoted to a guy that Ikkaku bullied for, like 100 years because the guy lost his reiatsu saving Ikkaku’s dumb ass.

When you write fanfic, you occasionally run into these more problematic aspects of the source media, and you can choose to dig in and analyze them, or just... remake them in your own way. Take for example, Gin. If you read fanfic about Gin, there are some people who will peel away the layers of him and his fears and insecurities and still make him be a horrible gremlin, and it’s really stellar writing. Other people prefer to write him in an AU where maybe less bad stuff happened to him, and he’s more mischievous than sociopathic, and this is a less meaty interpretation, but it’s also more fun. Sometimes fanfic is a meal and sometimes it’s candy. It fulfills different needs and different fantasies and all of it is welcome.

Yumichika, who for me is the fulcrum of Squad 11, presents this problem. I really don’t like the way his “appreciation for beauty” plays out in canon. He doesn’t actually appreciate beauty, he just likes telling other people they’re ugly. I don’t think he’s ever pointed out beauty in anyone else aside from himself or his zanpakutou. I remember the first time I watched his fight with Charlotte and it struck me as so off -- why wouldn’t he find her beautiful? I mean, I know it’s a transmysogynistic joke, that’s why, men dressed as women is funny, hurr hurr, but Yumichika is gender nonconforming himself. This was an opportunity to make a cool character point, and Kubo took the cheap laughs road instead. Going back to what I said last paragraph, a skilled writer could, in theory, write about his insecurities and his brittleness and meanness and write a pretty compelling story, but a) Kubo certainly doesn’t, and I have never actually found a Yumichika-centric fanfic of this nature, and b) this doesn’t fit the role I need him to play in my stories. I am rarely really interested in writing about Squad 11 for its own sake. I like to write them as a backdrop for the period of Renji’s afterlife where he hit absolute rock bottom and bounced back up again. We already know the role Ikkaku played in this, except that Ikkaku is a complete moron in terms of mental health, and I really, really felt like this is where Yumichika needed to come in.

I like to massage Yumichika’s character a bit, but I do want to keep the flavor of some of his character flaws-- he’s still shallow and mean and judgy, and I love that for him, but I like to add in a positive side to his appreciation for beauty. Having Yumichika make fun of Izuru’s pores is funny but it’s even funnier if he’s just given Renji a compliment on his hair first. The idea that a Yumichika compliment is attainable makes all his drags the more vicious. Yumichika also judged people by their beauty instead of their moral character, which is humorous to me. He dislikes Byakuya as a person, but is obsessed with his haircare regime. I like to have him treat Rangiku as an equal, beauty-wise, and a person whose opinion he respects based on her aesthetic. Rangiku is actually a pretty savvy and very emotionally intelligent person whom many people write off because she likes to present herself as a lazy airhead, so in an extremely convoluted way, this all works out. I like to think that Yumichika’s ideas of beauty are also caught up in boldness and risk-taking and having one’s outward presentation ring true to their inner self. To me, this is the core of why he loves Ikkaku. To him, Ikkaku’s devotion to doing the most Ikkaku thing at all times, no matter how stupid, is irresistibly sexy. 

Aside: At some point, I decided that the fact that a lot of people in Bleach have colorful marks on their faces and elaborate hairstyle and accessory games implied that make-up in Soul Society is gender neutral. I like to think there is actually more of a divide between the nobility, who like their make-up to follow rules and be classy, and, well, Squad 11, who like to get make-up ideas from Jem and the Holograms. I don’t even wear makeup (I don’t know how and it’s expensive and I am ashamed of myself, we can talk about my own gender presentation later) but I like to write about both my male and female characters wearing make-up. I don’t actually know how my readers feel about it, but it just falls under the “Is that what people want?”/“It’s what we do” philosophy of all my writing.

I think one of the theses of my writing is that middle management is more important to the character of a squad than the person at the top. Captains sort of act as ideals to strive for, but they are generally unapproachable for one reason or another. Yachiru is more like her captain in this respect (which makes sense, since she is, in fact part of her captain). Ikkaku and Yumichika present this dual idea that 1) strength is awesome, fighting and being the best is awesome, and 2) part of strength is presenting yourself to the world in a bold and confrontational way. (The fact that both of them are hiding huge parts of themselves is laughably ironic). Kenpachi and Yachiru are shining examples of Do Whatever You Want and Be So Strong That No One Can Stop You. 

What really makes this work is that you need someone one layer down-- does anyone actually subscribe to this nonsense, and that’s why Iba - Abarai Squad 11 is Best Squad 11. I really, really enjoy the genre of Reddit posts where a total bro will find out that his girlfriend is trans and react by becoming a vehement advocate for trans rights. I love the bodybuilders typing encouragement to each other meme. Our world is flooded with disingenuous messages from concern trolls trying to tell us why being kind and inclusive to one another is bad or that you should reject help because struggle makes you stronger and the idea of a Himbo looking at something like that and saying “that seems dumb" is delightful to me.

I actually feel like there are a lot of awful people with bad ideas in Squad 11, it’s just that Renji and Iba don’t put up with their shit, and over time, that becomes the culture of Squad 11. I think that Squad 11 has incredibly turnover, but the ones who stay are the ones who subscribe to the ideas you mentioned-- fighting is what matters, if you wanna go argue about shit, go join Squad 5. In the IkkaYumi story I wrote, which happens shortly after Zaraki takes over, a ton of people leave. The Bount Arc (which I know a lot of people skipped) features a dude who was extremely pissed off because he had liked the old Kenpachi and thought Zaraki sucked and was so mad about it that he betrayed Soul Society. You might think that this arc would feature Zaraki caring about this in some way shape or form, but he really didn’t. So, I think there are a lot of Soul Reapers that took issue with serving under a little girl as a vice captain, they just aren’t in Squad 11 anymore.

Oh, one last note on Iba’s mom. I am of an age where a number of my friends have mothers who were Second Wave Feminists. The moms in question are a real mixed bag, because they Came From a Different Time, and on one hand, you have to respect what they went through, and on the other hand, they are very difficult to get along with. I liked the idea that Iba has always chafed against his mom and her big personality, and then Renji comes in, and is like, “hey, your mom is strong as hell and she has a lot of ideas that I never thought of but they make sense” and Iba realizes that, even though she’s still a huge pain in his ass, his mom is the person who made him who he is. Moms are complex.

Uhhhh, I have definitely lost the thread of wherever I was going with this post. Thank you for enjoying my Squad 11, which is nothing like canon Squad 11. Hopefully maybe this year, I will actually finish my Squad 11 Self Care story, where Renji stops being a drunk disaster person after Yumichika teaches him how to fill his brows; I got stuck on a part where Rangiku gives Renji a talk on ethical sluttery.

[hvilested]

Yes, you can cure Maladaptive Daydreaming

Two years ago when I joined this community, I think I was more dead than alive. I've been waging quite a brutal war with maladaptive dreaming and the array of issues that underlie it ever since then and I'm on my way out of this prison. I wanted to do something for you guys so here is a little essay with insights on MD and what you can do to understand better and finally tame this beast. Hopefully, someone will find it useful.

The split and the life between two worlds

Do you think the vague feeling of being split in two and existing between two worlds but belonging to none is exclusive to maladaptive daydreamers?

“If you try to have a conversation with me, I can’t bring myself to listen to you. I pretend to listen and you really think I do but my mind is somewhere else, thinking about it. Every time I try to stop doing it, I genuinely feel as if a part of me has been torn off and a deep sense of personal loss ensues. I feel as if I’m not here but I’m not there either and I can’t shake off this feeling of being split in two.”

This is what a recovering heroin addict once told me. Heroin addict. But it’s also what a regular maladaptive daydreamer could have told you, isn’t it?

Maladaptive daydreaming is, among other things, a typical psychological addiction. Most of the negative issues associated with maladaptive daydreaming come from the fact that it is an addictive coping mechanism and not some unique disorder with specific symptoms just recently discovered. You have heard million times that addictions are encoded in the primitive part of the brain associated with survival – which means that if you don’t get your fix right now, you feel more dead than alive and you need your drug of choice to bring you back to life. Your brain is sending a false message to you – it is issuing an urge that is blown out of proportion, compelling you to constantly indulge in daydreams and making you think that if you don’t, the world will end and you will lose a part of yourself. Drugs usually invade your sense of self – they fuse with it and by giving up the drug, you feel as though you are giving up a dear part of yourself.

Addiction is addiction but different types of drugs and addictive behaviors tell you different things about their users. So what does fantasy reveal about you? MD is like a guardian angel that tries to protect you too much and eventually causes more harm than good. But it’s still your guardian angel that tried lifting a burden off your brittle shoulders. It’s destructive in its own way but it was originally born to protect you from something. To realize and accept what you are trying to run away from is your first step towards recovery. Maybe it’s depression, maybe it’s low self-esteem and loneliness or it’s anxiety or PTSD.

Fall of the self

Maladaptive daydreaming isn’t the act of random mind-wandering – it’s a highly immersive mental activity, where all attention is gathered and directed towards happenings of the fantasy. This would be parallel to a so-called flow state, which is characterized by immersing intensely in an activity to the point of losing the sense of self. Which means, whatever happens in fantasy, happens, but not to you. It is a selfless experience, never integrated into what you call yourself, into sense of identity, into what makes you you. It exists as a detached, ecstatic, fleeting moment that slips through the fingers the moment you try to make sense out of it and process it as your own experience. You witness traces of happiness but the happiness is never yours.

Fantasy is an egoless state of mind where we are not ourselves. And by temporarily cutting ties from your own ego, the conscious identity, you’re also cutting ties from all insecurities you have ever had, from all the problems that are currently bothering you and this is why daydreams feel so damn good. Everything bad is just cut off from your perception. The part of your brain that defines your sense of self, along with all the negative things and mental illnesses attached to it, is turned off.

As you venture into this egoless place that is MD, you make up imaginary people you sometimes end up loving dearly or even fall in love with or you conjure imaginary places you’re desperately drawn to, and then suddenly – you wake up from your dream and you’re violently pulled back to reality and to being yourself. And this is where the problem arises: all those things you’ve done in your dreamworld and all those made up people you’ve come to love have nothing – absolutely nothing – to do with real YOU. They are not attached to your conscious sense of self. All those dreams and false memories you made – you made them in an egoless state of mind. And it’s this that makes you feel split. It’s not the fact that you’re physically apart from the content of your fantasies. It is the fact that your subconscious feelings, fantasies and desires do not connect to your sense of self. Even if everything you’ve been daydreaming about came true, you’d still feel like garbage, empty and miserable. If your imaginary friend came to life to make you less lonely, you’d still be lonely – because MD isn’t about made up friends or lovers or getting a new life. It’s about you not wanting to be you. Everything else is irrelevant.

In other words, you’re not addicted to your fictional characters or your imaginary love or to a fantasy about being a famous singer or writer. You’re addicted to not being you. You’re addicted to this erratic state of consciousness that is MD – regardless of its content – that provides a temporal relief.

I’m not saying that you don’t genuinely care about the content of your daydreams (quite the opposite, more on that soon) – what I am saying is that it’s not your love towards whatever is the content of your fantasies that creates this ugly feeling of being split between two worlds. One thing I can assure you (and this comes from my own experience) is that the moment you feel comfortable being you, those two worlds will reconcile, they will merge into one, and you’ll finally feel at peace with yourself.

Will a part of you be taken away as you give up your daydreams?

Maybe the saddest question I have ever asked myself was ‘how much of myself will I lose when I give up the only thing that makes me happy?’ Here’s a glimmer of hope: you’re not supposed to give them up. To give up the feelings you experience in your daydreams is self-mutilation. As strange or silly as they are, they still represent a censored part of your subconscious; maybe they are an epitome of your loneliness or your sadness. They are a testament to how hard you’re struggling and how hard you’re trying not to be dead – and to give this up is a crime towards yourself. Maladaptive Daydreaming isn’t just about wishful thinking and getting your wounds licked. It is that one place where your life flame stillburns while you may be dead in all other planes of existence. That’s enough to know that this MD thing isn’t all that entirely wrong. Maybe your real life is all emptiness and void but what you do in your daydreams – you do it with passion. And that’s enough to know that you are still capable of loving and caring about something just like other people. So passion exists and don’t you dare ever doubt that. It exists in a wrong place but it exists nonetheless. What you have to do is find a way to redirect those emotions from daydreams to reality and, as stated before, this causally happens once you’re finally you. All the positive emotions from your daydreams will flow back into you and you’ll feel as though these two worlds between which you have lived for so long have at last coalesced into one.

So what you want to do is focus on healing the self. It’s a tough one but there’s no quick fix here. Now comes the irony which you’ve been waiting for: in order to heal yourself, you need to let go of your daydreams. But didn’t I just say that you aren’t supposed to give them up, you ask? Don’t give up the passion, don’t give up the love you have for the content of your daydreaming, don’t give up the feelings – because they are all, real or not, a reminder that you’re alive. What you do have to give up is the false sense of comfort your daydreams give you. Try giving up all those countless hours you spend stuck in your own head pacing back and forth because you’d rather be there than here. Try giving up the temporal fix when you feel miserable. If someone angers you, don’t impulsively lock yourself in your room and act out a revenge in your head; go kick a sofa or something, lash out at something external.

You have to wean yourself off of this strange dissociative painkiller that’s fantasy, then let yourself feel all the pain with every ounce of your being, let all the negative emotions resurface, let them swallow you alive, don’t resist, don’t run away, accept them, let them ravage you, and somewhere along this process, a part of the you will be reborn. Something will awake. Not all of you, maybe just a small part but that’s enough to gather what’s left of your strength and continue the struggle. If you feel the urge to daydream, this is okay – as long as it doesn’t censor the pain which you shouldn’t run away from anymore, it’s fine to give in and indulge for a while if you feel like you have to. Don’t ignore temptations, this sparks the fire of addiction even more. It’s a well known pattern: if you fight the urge to engage in an addictive behavior, it makes it stronger. If you acknowledge it, analyze it, this is what breaks the cycle of addiction. In other words, the imperative is not to block the pain and negative feelings. If a sudden sense of self-disgust or low self-esteem suddenly hits you, welcome it. Welcome it, analyze it, let it consume you, and you will realize it is just a false message your brain is sending to you because that’s what brains of depressed people do, after all. The more you let yourself feel and process the negative feelings without censorship, the more will the urge to daydream weaken and the less you will run away.

Who are you really?

Depression usually enters people’s lives like a tempest – yesterday you were an optimistic person enjoying simple pleasures of life and today you feel like a suicidal or apathetic piece of shit, and this is how it is for most people. Depression that underlies MD, however, takes a different route. It enters your life stealthily, slowly, so slowly you don’t even notice it, then it gradually robs you of emotions, ambitions, memories, motivation, identity, empathy, and you end up thinking: “I don’t remember a time when I wasn’tmiserable,” or “these bad feelings must be a part of my personality, they have always been here“. Because of this, most of us fail to realize where depression (or anxiety or any other kind of chronic mental illness) ends and where we begin. So if this illness isn’t you, then who are you?

Let me make a digression here. MD is usually born when you can’t express yourself properly because you’re anxious, depressed or sometimes simply shy or lonely. Mental illnesses are like lenses which distort your perception. Everything you see appears more tragic, senseless or uglier than it really is. And your both eyes are infected with these lenses. But here your subconscious decides to play a trick on your mental illness and tells you: ‘well, if your both eyes are infected and make things appear worse than they really are, then why don’t you just close them?’ You do and this is the beginning of the addiction to fantasy. You stop paying attention to the outside world and you turn it inwards and use your mind’s eye to create things inside you: your daydreams. This mind’s eye, which is fantasy, cannot get infected with depression and this is why MD is a safe haven. Depression doesn’t reach there. What your subconscious forgets to tell you before it’s too late is that if you close those two eyes used for perceiving outer world, for things outside of yourself, you’ll be completely cut off from reality. But none of this is your fault – this is a war between mental illness, the attacker, and your subconscious, which is your protector, and you are their battlefield. You don’t have a single choice, they are the ones who decide – you only observe. So if you ever blamed yourself for being too weak to make a decision to cease this addiction, stop it. It’s wasn’t your fault.

Back to my question, who are you then?

The daydream version of you isn’t the true you but it’s not a fake one either. It’s a highly filtered product of your subconscious that tried to protect you. Then we have this other real-life you imbued with low self-esteem and negative thoughts that seem to go on a loop forever. Well, that’s certainly not your true self either. Heck, if it’s any comfort for you, the daydream you is far closer to the true you than this real-life depressed version of yourself will ever be.

Can you remember the time when you didn’t have MD? Can you remember your sense of identity when you were a child free of MD? Try conjuring up all those times when you knew how to live in the present. It doesn’t matter if you were 6 years old the last time you were here. Just try to pinpoint all those moments and try to remember the feeling of being in the now. Here’s one pretty handy trick you can use. I always joke that music is a drug that takes you on a trip down a memory lane. It’s like an emotional psychedelic. It transports you emotionally back in time, to another place, another reality, to wherever you wish. It helps people with Alzheimer’s remember who they are and regain a sense of identity for a short while. Maladaptive daydreamers often use music to help them imagine an alternate setting – but what if you used music to transport yourself to the past when you had neither depression nor anxiety or MD or whatever is bothering you? If you can remember a forgotten song which you used to listen as a child who at the time hadn’t had MD yet, listen to it again, try to remember who you were, and if the song is meaningful to you, the old you and your sense of self, which you used to have back then, will come back to you for those few minutes while the song plays. You’ll feel the warmth of finally being you. You won’t quite be in the present – you’ll be in the past, but it’s your real past, it’s your true self. Try to capture this feeling and then try to reenact it. It’ll strengthen your identity in the long run.

I’ll give another example on what set me free from my own MD for a short while. You all know what fight or flight mode is. What you also probably know is that most people with PTSD or chronic anxiety are stuck in a constant state of fight or flight. Spending too much time in this state eventually leads to a burnout and is a sure ticket to depression since you go from fight and flight into freeze mode where all your functions are off and you feel like an emotionless zombie. You don’t care, you don’t live, you don’t get angry or sad or happy, you only exist on autopilot. In order to feel normal and alive again, you usually need a fix so strong which will set your body back on fire. Someone or something has to attack you so fiercely in order for you to rethink your existence and regain your instincts and the will to fight back. This is what happened to me. When one of my daydreams violently crumbled some time ago, I got so ridiculously pissed off that for the first time after several years spent in freeze mode, I felt genuinely alive. I was me. The anger acted like a stimulant and the state lasted for 15 minutes until the anger wore off. But hell, during those 15 minutes, I was me. I was so mad but I was also indescribably happy. I could feel. I could let go. I was defeated but I also won. The thirst, the cravings, the split, this strange nostalgia for my daydreams all dissolved. But instead of just disappearing, every positive feeling that was limited to the daydream world only, such as sense of purpose, motivation and normal self-esteem, flew back into me. I didn’t lose a single part of me – quite the opposite – I regained back that detached part of my soul that existed only in daydreams. What took for me to awake was extreme anger, being defeated, my world crumbing to pieces. The moment I genuinely accepted that my dream world crushed, the moment I let go of all attachments holding me back for years, I was reborn. The anger, which is a natural stimulant, made something in me click. But note: this feeling of finally being alive and the desire to fight back woke up in me once my daydreams were in danger, not me. It’s because we’re so displaced, because fantasy is where we had hidden the core of our souls.

In the long run, you’re destroying neither the daydream you nor the positive feelings that come with it, you’re not giving anything up – you’re just transferring it to reality, to where it should be. But for this change to occur, before you can be reborn and whole again, you have to self-destruct, you have to let go.

[livingasaghost]

warning: this post will contain spoilers for the new mike flanagan show MIDNIGHT MASS. content warning for death, grief, religion.

as someone who was scarred by horror as a child and someone who hates halloween, no one is as surprised as i am that mike flanagan is one of my favorite directors/creators. for those who don't know, this is the man behind THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE and DOCTOR SLEEP. when hill house was released a few years ago, it was barely even on my radar. the only reason i decided to watch it is because everyone kept going on about how it was so scary it made them throw up or pass out or whatever.

not sure how that spurred me to turn the show on because quite literally i do not like scary things and i've had nightmares for years because of the poltergeist. but, i did in fact turn on this scary show at night in the dark of my house alone. and spoiler alert: it changed my life.

since then i've seen hill house about four times all the way through and i've also seen bly manor. (and obviously midnight mass.) as i continue to watch mike flanagan's works, i've been struck by his storytelling, his vision, and his art direction. this man is a star of his craft. when i watch his works i spend half the time studying his camera angles, his script, the little easter eggs he leaves behind. his shows fall under the same category as most of my favorite media: highly conceptual creations that feature strong themes and messages that change the way you perceive the universe and yourself and other people. i think i will spend my entire lifetime trying to explain this type of storytelling. stories like house of leaves or cloud cuckoo land or the starless sea. stories about how life is just a story, just a dream, and all we can do is appreciate our time on earth and the people we surround ourselves with.

when midnight mass originally was announced and the trailer dropped, i don't think i fully appreciated what it would be. it didn't really occur to me that mike was working on a new show, and it also didn't occur to me that while this new show wasn't a "haunting" show...it also was exactly that. there was so much hype leading up to bly manor, and when that dropped i was left feeling fairly disappointed. i think it's better that this new series doesn't fall under the haunting franchise, but i can understand and appreciate that it's basically a continuation of mike's television works. it's the same cast, the same feel, the same director...just different. and nothing like hill house or bly.

MIDNIGHT MASS is the story of a small town, an island town, that gets a new priest. you can't know more than that going in, but if you're reading this i'll assume you've either seen the show or you don't mind getting spoiled. (last chance.) what first seems like a show about alcoholism and god, quickly turns paranormal and supernatural. the show explores so many deep themes like life after death, what happens when the church strays from god and begins to glorify itself, small town religion, forgiveness. while the plot itself is incredibly compelling and it's a great mystery, i think what always gets to me about mike flanagan shows is that at the end of the day, even though it's horror and it's thrilling to watch, there is always that underlying message that is beautifully crafted and explored and it's usually about death and/or grief. midnight mass is such a wonderful addition to the flanagan collection because it forces you to look at the act of death head on. while it does explore grief, so much of this story is about what happens when you die and where you go and what comes next. and i've spent a lot of my life actively trying not to think about that.

a few months back i read a little life by hanya yanigahara and that book is all about friendship and life and also grief. it's about knowing that no matter how long your life is, at the end of it, we all die and we all lose people and one day people will lose us too. and while it's been months since i've read or actively thought of that book, i think so much of that set the stage for my 2021. i have dealt with grief in recent months, i dealt with the loss of our cat, and the combination of all of that PLUS watching this show...it really struck a chord with me. a weird one. i think the older i get the more fascinated i am by death and grief and loss and while sometimes that can be debilitating and scary, i think it's also incredibly freeing.

there's a scene (that happens twice) where two of the characters are discussing what happens when/after we die. and since this show centers on christianity, of course one of those scenarios reflects on heaven. the other scenario pictured is from more of an atheistic/agnostic perspective: that when we die, our bodies shut down and that is the end of it. what shocked me most is that as someone raised christian, someone who actively believes in a god and has read a lot about "the afterlife" or what not, i don't know that i have ever let myself believe in or think about a death that doesn't have an afterlife. doesn't have a heaven. i can't tell if that's just really good brain-washing by the church or what, but in watching that scene i felt both the thrill of fear and also a bit of relief.

here's the thing. after thinking on it all more, i obviously don't have the answer. we don't know what comes next, if anything. i think most of what religion and faith comes down to is knowing we won't know and also knowing that there isn't any logic when it comes to spirituality. to a god. as much as science exists, if we believe in a higher power, we also have to accept that science cannot explain everything. that science isn't everything period. i would like to think, and will hopefully continue to believe, that erin's view of life after death is real. that heaven exists, that we will all be reunited one day, that there is a higher power who wants us all to be loved and not alone for eternity. that sounds real to me. but i also have realized that i have doubts. that the logic side of me believes that when we die, our bodies will shut down and we will go to sleep and that will be the end.

and you know what? even though that is scary and it's a recent thing for me to consider (especially as someone who is more and more becoming anti-religion in some ways), it's also a huge fucking relief. it's a blessing. to not exist.

that sounds like my depression talking, but it's not. i promise. i've never been the type of person who wants to live forever or extend my life span. part of the whole point of mike flanagan shows, of the types of books and stories i enjoy, is that without an end, there's no point. what's the purpose of living forever? if you've seen the good place there always reaches a point where you've reached your full potential, where you've done everything, where things stop having meaning because they've lasted so long. and obviously death is still scary, not knowing what comes next is terrifying, but watching this show gave me a kind of comfort about death that i didn't know was possible. and this is a horror show about religious vampires.

throughout all the gore and hypocrisy and terror and violence of this strange show, i found myself at peace.

[magnetothehedgehog]

Dabi's Decision (Warning spoilers!)

To start off again, spoilers for bnha so don't read if you don't wanna be spoiled for future anime/manga stuff

Oml I'm literally CRYING over this Dabi reveal rewrite I was thinking about recently

The Shoto Family Crisis is something that really hits home for me as I have personaly experience dealing with those type of people (cough cough ENDEAVOR COUGH)

But first I gotta talk about whats actually happening before my idea

But as much respect as I had for Dabi as a villain character and even for the first few moments as Todoroki's brother, from what I have seen from a translation of the reveal here on tumblr I was really disappointed. Like yes It could just have been the translation since i haven't seen all of the offical thing, but I getthe feeling thats not the case.

All that respect for Dabi goes away when he made his argument. He basically said "Dad was mean to me so I killed off a bunch of random innocent people who have done me no wrong for no good reason but LOOK *points at endeavor* he drove me to this. He made me do it."

Like somebody near him is gonna comedically slap him and say "Bad endeavor! >:cc"

This isn't to downplay Touya's trauma, it was real and probably the harshest since he was the first experiment and also considered the first failure. He ended up so ghosted that his own family thought he was dead.

But when he hurts other innocent people for his own goals JUST like his father did, not only is he ending up just like him, he is playing right into his hands. Endeavor wants someone to surpass him, someone to pass down his legacy of strength and ruthlessness, however it happens. Actually its quite the norm for toxic people to try and pass on their behaviors, try to clone themselves on the next generation.

Even with endeavors supposed redemption arc, the effects his decisions have on the past don't change, as this event was supposed to help solidify.

Honestly its the worst way to get back at Endeavour and you just end up being just like the abuser. Why is it such a common trope that "if I was abused by someone, Let me go do the same thing to someone else who literally has never tried to hurt me in my life?" Notice how they never target the abuser, they just seek to abuse someone else, thus continuing the cycle. The stupidest part of Touya's argument is that he is trying to make it seem like its endeavor who made him choose these actions.

But thats the thing. It was STILL Touya's choice to make. And yeah it sucks, often times an abuser will use this fact to their advantage, but when it comes down to it, Touya made the choice to do wrong. It's not like endeavor said "Yo kill these 5 people with your fire power to prove your worth or I burn your skull yeah?"

He made the choice to hurt multiple people who had hope and a future like he once did.

He made a choice that led to him becomong the next abuser, and becoming as delusional as the person who abused him.

But lets say things go different from how its currently going down in the Manga. Here'ss my idea: where it takes place I could care less but lets use the same place the canon did, the theater

But imagine Dabi reveals himself to Endeavor, the crowd and Todoroki and reveals who he is, Touya. He then goes on to revealing Endeavors little experiment and how he used all his family just to live out his dream of surpassing the symbol of peace and having someone stronger than him so he could live vicariously through him.

Dabi goes on to explain as he was considered "a failure" he was cast aside and ghosted, and left distant from his other siblings Endeavour didn't want to be effected by Touya the failure.

Dabi explains how he knew no-one would listen or care about some kids who were being used and no-one would dare challenge or try to smear the reputation of the second greatest hero, so Endeavor was basically untouchable. So Dabi devised a plan

Dabi explains that by becoming a villain, he was able to train unhindered by rules and regulations that hold heroes back and the keep them from exercising their power to the fullest. He explains how he only used his flames to burn those deserving (actual crooks, slavers, other abusers maybe, looking at you overhaul) and how by having less concern for his own well being he could push past his limits.

Even though his Flesh itself burned his power grew until now it was something that could rival/surpass allmight's. Dabi then displays immense amount of power for the world to see, nearly burning up an entire mountain or something to ash. And he eas able to do this all with just 1 quirk. FIRE. For a failure he managed to do the one thing Endeavor always wanted. Be stronger than Almight, and he did it with just.FIRE.

He mocks endeavor. Look at you. Always wanted to ve number 1 but never could. Even now you are stuck in second place in your own heart. But Look now, your failure has achieved your dream. Maybe if you had shown the world the villain you showed your family you could have been number one.

"Look! Gaze upon your Son! See as the Fire chars my very Flesh!?This is it! THIS IS WHAT YOU ALWAYS WANTED! GAZE UPON THE WORLDS NUMBER 1!"

now that in itself is a heartbreaker and would be were maybe another fic writer would stop, but oh no, ya'll still got tears to cry so get ready

Todoroki is in shock now the only words he can make out is "Touya..."

And thats when Touya turns his attention to Todoroki "ahh...my dear Todoroki."

Touya then goes on to explain how this plan he devised was not for himself, but rather, for Todoroki and the rest of his family. He wanted the world to see endeavor for who he was and what he is, so that hopefully, his siblings could have a better future.

Touya goes on about how proud he is of Todoroki for showing how strong he was and that even though he came from people constantly making wrong decisions, he could make a right decision. Even going so far as to reject his own flames at one point.

Touya then goes into a heartfelt speech, and Tells Todoroki

"Listen. I could never tell you to join me or go down the road I took. I would never do that. The Path I took was to build the bridge to Your better tomorrow. I want you to be the best hero you can be."

"I don't want you to be the next symbol of peace or the next Allmight. I want you to live for yourself, be what you WANT to be. Because even though he may have robbed me of my future, your future is something he can never have. "

Omg 😢😭😭😭

Touya you deserved so much moreee

But thats the point.

He did, they all did. And thats what this version of Touya was trying to tell the world. Nobody knows how hard it was, the pain and suffering it took. The stress of Todoroki's body to only reject a quirk probably heavily tied to his emotions and half his whole body, but also the stress it caused from not using it, his father breathing on his neck at every waking moment trying to force him to use it.

And thats just the tip of the iceberg. Getting misinterpreted because he's so focused on defeating the real evil in his life.

Man Todoroki gets so shorthanded in both life and in writing by the author it hurts my soul. I know he has so much potential but he gets dragged down or down played by every little things, especially he who shall not be nam- BAKUGO ITS BAKUGO GAHHH

Ahem. I think I was overtaken for a single moment. Pardon me~☆

But nah none of this toddler "he made me do itttt." Angwy points 3:<

And none of that "Oh Todoroki you have forsaken meeee."

Like for real if anybody aughta know endeavor probably made up some crap lie about him Touya should, thats all that man do, I already KNOW.

And before anybody says you're being too hard on them this is why nobody wants to do redemption

Its called redemption for a reason, first off it ain't supposed to be easy befitting the cause. Second, fake or flakey redemption is the pitts and there is too much of it being sugarcoated and presented on a Platter thank youuu

Only gonna throw one more jab in here but

The Author literally told us how horrible Bakugo is by showing us he had to have amnesia and not receive one for all from the movie or he woulda kept it. They coulda had him give it back to deku, even if it was just an ego thing for him and I, who have not had a reason to respect him in the whole series, would have actually respected that and taken it as a clear sign of change.

But no. Amnesia cop out cowabunga it was.

Okay I think I got this outta my system thanks everyone.

[valkblue]

Being a Behavior technician requires a certain amount of dedication to the job — the rigorous type, bordeline rigid. That’s what is expected to be at peak efficiency regarding analysis protocols and diagnostics for host service and calibration.

For that, Vivian thinks she might be the worst tech in her department. 

— masterlist, AO3

Chapter 1 on 12

Chapter wordcount: 2,486 Story status: Complete Rating: General Warning: people swear a lot, technobabble counts as swearing as well (believe me)…

Author’s notes: This is the first time I post a fanfic online. A real big one I mean. Not just crackfics... I’m emotional. I don’t know what the schedule will be yet because my queue is acting up, but everything should be out regularly, or something that looks like it. This first chapter is an intro to the main character and what she does, and I hope you’ll enjoy this story and its characters all the way!  Also, I really want to thank @pheedraws​ and @something-tofightfor​ for their heartwarming feedback on the whole story. Thank you SO much!!

Have a good time reading, and my askbox/messages are open! 💙

— Chapter 1

Now wasn’t a good time to yawn…

And yet, Vivian had nothing else to do but wait right now, wait while the progress bars slowly filled up on her tablet screen.

Now wasn’t the time, simply because some of her colleagues were passing through the hallway, behind the glass panels of her cubicle, and among them was the head of Behavior department — incidentally, her superior.

No doubt they were all about to grab a bite at the restaurant and Vivian held back an almost envious mumble; she was starving! But before she could go eat anything, she had to finish with her last subject on her morning schedule; host ID#DH410829420391, named Mildred.

And Mildred was back at the lab on account of a negative report about her response time during interactions with other hosts but also with guests. A lag that only happened in character mode, not in analysis. So, Vivian started with refreshing her lexical base and improvisation engine. It took some time to check the entire tree but as of now, it was done.

"Can you confirm if the update’s complete?"

"Confirmed," Mildred answered right away, her voice flat and her look vacant.

"Back in character mode."

Mildred seemed to wake up and blinked once before focusing her attention  back on Vivian.

"Mildred?"

"Oh, I’m sorry," she answered with a hint of a shy smile. "I must have drifted off, I believe… The working hours at the farm are ungodly sometimes!"

The response time was more than good, now. The improvisation too.

"I was wondering if there’s a lot of clients at the farm these days," Vivian asked.

The answer was not long to come.

"Certainly! Our cattle sure gives the best milk there is. No matter what the competition says!"

"How many green bottles are standing on the wall?"

Questions and procedures were always more or less the same to determine which bits of code, settings or values could cause an issue or start to glitch like crazy!

But today, for Mildred — and Vivian — everything was back in order, and each/both of them could soon return to the the usual course of their scheduled day.

It was about time for Vivian to take a break, if she was reduced to that kind of wisecrack…

A glance at her wristwatch, even while her tablet displayed a more accurate time than the watch hands, and Vivian concluded her analysis. She folded the tablet, slid it back in her jacket pocket, and left the large glass room after one last embarrassed look at Mildred she was leaving there, naked in the dark. Vivian didn’t even fight down a shiver. It was actually freezing cold in there!

She comforted herself with the thought that Mildred didn’t feel anything in this state, disconnected, and that a team wouldn’t take too long to come get her, do her hair, dress her up and put her back in rotation in no time. Barely as much as Vivian had for her lunch break… and that was just enough to go all the way up to the hub restaurant. But the bosses here didn’t care much about how long the lunch breaks lasted, as long as the work was done in time.

So, Vivian didn’t hurry to get to the elevator she shared with two co-workers who only interrupted their chitchat about hockey results for a vague greeting.

At this hour, the restaurant was a bit more crowded but it still wasn’t too hard to find a seat in the large and relatively peaceful room. The whole vibe in it was corporate though, even in that staff only room; every dish were stamped with the park logo and name — from the bottom of the plates to the salt shakers — and a flat HD screen displayed a bunch of Delos branches ads that looked much weirder without sound.

After a while, one didn’t really pay attention to all this anymore… A few months was enough to make it all part of the landscape and for the mind to simply stop noticing it.

And Vivian had been working here for three years, now.

However, she was still bothered by a few details sometimes, such as the huge white walls that spanned all the way up a balcony floor and a domed ceiling or the fact that the stalls were lit with a pale light under which the food turned to a sickly colour.

Hopefully, under the less saturated lights of the main room, the Caesar salads and the turkey-tomato sandwiches were back to a more appetizing hue.

Her tray loaded with a potato-corn salad, a big glass of water and a piece of bread, Vivian walked towards the tables, eager for her potatoes to lose their blueish glint. Just shy of the screen, she recognised a familiar face, Margaret’s, another Behavior tech from her team. Both were on friendly basis now, where it was possible to enjoy some time together and to laugh a little, even if it took them a whole year to finally break the ice.

Margaret waved at Vivian when she saw her pick her way across the room, inviting her to join them — them being Margaret, and three other guys from their department.

"Did you hear the latest, Vivian!?" she blurted. "I’ve been told that Damon Dyers is in the park, at this very moment!"

"Damon… Dyers?"

Vivian didn’t even hide her puzzlement while sitting in front of her.

"The actor," one of the three guys — Luke — pointed out. "Marge was just exposing how she’ll mooch the control room techs for a footage…"

"Listen, if you were as thirsty as I am about this guy, you’d understand!" Margaret replied.

To that, he quipped:

"My husband would be pissed!"

All chuckled in approval before returning to their almost emptied plates, while Vivian had barely touched her own.

"Can you imagine," Margaret daydreamt, leaning back in her seat as in a comfy armchair, holding her Pyrex glass like a snifter of bourbon. "Damon hunting down Escaton in the hills…"

Vivian scoffed; she could imagine, indeed.

At the table, Charles, Thawal and Luke didn’t pay any more attention to them, carrying on with their chat about retro gaming. Vivian would probably have preferred to be part of that conversation; not that she didn’t know shit about movies and their actors, but more like aside from a few exceptions on which they got along swimmingly, she didn’t have much taste in common with Margaret. But she listened to her friend anyway as she kept going after a sip of sparkling water:

"How am I not supposed to be hot on the idea!? I’ll deadass find someone to bootleg me some footages!"

Vivian smiled out of politeness, not saying much, as always. Her mouth was full anyway.

"Oh, by the way!"

Margaret took another swip of her glass before putting it down on the table and leaning towards Vivian.

"Apparently, they’re going to burden us with a whole new bunch of hosts in two or three weeks," she said, with all the serious she could muster. "I heard that from Elsie. Narrative must be trying to compensate for something, if you know what I mean…"

Vivian knew very well.

"We barely have time to light a fag between two sessions already and they plan to add another hundred on our backs!?"

She snorted disdainfully.

"Don’t know what they’re spicing their coffee with but it isn’t doing them any good."

"No shit," admitted Vivian, a bit testy at the idea. "Unless they also plan to hire? Did Lowe say anything about it?"

Margaret shrugged.

"No idea, I haven’t talked to him in a while."

She patted her blazer pockets then sighed softly; Vivian understood her attitude as relief, and a craving, even a need to light a cigarette.

"You should ask," Margaret pointed out with a smile a tad clenched in the orbicularis muscles. "You like him, right?"

Vivian approved; she admired his thoroughness, his love for details… A lot could be learned while working under his care and Vivian found him both spirited and friendly.

Margaret didn’t quite share the feeling, however; in her own words, he was giving her the heebie-jeebies.

"Anyway, I’m off," Margaret stated with an even greater impatience in her voice. "I gotta light one before the crazy afternoon waiting for me!"

She gathered her cutlery on her tray, adding:

"Not giving up on the idea to come across Damon fucking Dyers, though! At least in video recs. Wish me luck!"

Vivian nodded and Margaret put her tray away on the sideboard before hurrying to the exit.

Her colleagues had changed topics next to her, and now they were talking about cars, motorcycles and mechanics. As she didn’t know much about that topic, not as much as in computers, she listened only a little without taking part.

Then, Vivian finished wolfing down her potato salad and her glass of water; she would soon return to her shift and examine a series of hosts, the characteristics of which she overviewed on her tablet from her timetable’s folders. It was simply routine checks, and Vivian liked that kind of sessions; it was like meeting with a friend, just to catch up with them.

But for now, she would take a few minutes to get some air and natural light on top of the hub before diving back into the high tech depths of the Mesa.

At seven in the evening, closer to eight, Vivian was glad to be back to her on-site apartments. Once again, she had grabbed a snack at the restaurant but the room was much more crowded than it was at lunch and came close to a headache before reaching "home". She could have dined here, cooked something on her induction hob but she was so tired — or lazy — that, tonight again, she still choose to eat at the restaurant over having to do the dishes!

Now, she was getting out of the shower in her bathrobe and throw herself on her bed.

Living like this, it was like being a teenager all over again, back at her parents’, or at the dorm… but once she closed her apartment’s door, Vivian was totally free to do whatever she wanted. As long as it didn’t involve wrecking the place!

But now, even if she wanted to, Vivian wouldn’t have had the strength to break any chair, nor even to make a mess of the bed… About that, she was actually planning on laying there, and falling asleep in her bathrobe while watching a movie or reading any book she had available on her personal tablet. A tablet that was nothing close to the one she was using every day in the Behavior department labs, but a tablet anyway.

She swiped the covers without any real interest; in all honesty, she was feeling too tired to read. Even something she had already read. And she cringed a little when the minimalistic cover with her automatically signed name appeared.

Yeah, even too tired to read her own words!

Besides, it wasn’t great literature at all — a fanfiction. Two, to be precise. Both about the hosts and their narratives as she could have written about a movie, book, or video game’s characters.

Vivian grumbled, letting her tablet fall flat on her stomach, and she stared at the white ceiling before closing her eyes while nibbling her lips. She had written this almost six months after she started working here, taken over by all the motivation, excitement and creativity around her!

She refocused on herself since but, in the meantime, she wrote these. And even though Vivian considered herself to have a fertile imagination, she still commended herself about how better for everyone it was she hadn’t applied for a job in Narrative…

Rising her tablet up again and tapping on the lit screen, she entered the file and skimmed through it, trying to ignore the grammar mistakes she stopped committing since; and mistakes aside, her stories had nothing exceptional, totally influenced as they were by her mood and the not-so-new-but-still-trendy storyline — Escaton’s and his bandits, essentially…

Over a very short time, when Vivian was still more or less trying to fit into the life of the facility and social circles of her co-workers whose names had yet to be caught, she had heard so many comments, appreciations and reviews for this narrative that she looked into it first.

After all, the park afforded Lee Sizemore, renowned author who made a big name for himself with a "hot and grimy" historical saga, a few years back before running out of puff under his editor’s pressure. And a juicy offer by a video game studio to adapt it. 

She understood; everybody, whether staff or guests, was more or less hyped by the brute force brought by Hector Escaton — virile and dark male figure — to the relative tranquility of the park’s starting point.

And Vivian had been no exception.

If her first story was only about made-up characters to explore the pleasing and well rounded context of Sweetwater, her second, on the other hand, was more audacious, altering shamelessly the story from what its authors had surely intended; victorious over the town after killing the sheriff and all opposition, Escaton and his gang enjoyed their plunder at the Mariposa where Hector fell for one of the saloon girls.

That being said, Vivian remained very proper — maybe totally prudish — in these sort of narrative fantasies of hers; nothing turned freaky or utterly violent…

All she did was throwing a few sentences on her writing app for some evenings, when inspiration struck or simply because she urged herself to follow through with what she started. All on her personal tablet. She knew better than to write that on anything system-tethered. Imagining that a bored somebody could just hack into the system all the way up to her personal data… and end up on that giddy nonsense, made her wants to puke!

Not to mention that it might also be forbidden. Even though she never planned to, she knew she couldn’t share it with anyone, nor anywhere. Not as a park employee. If the guests were writing critiques and other reviews online about their stay, herself couldn’t talk about it from the inside. Confidentiality and shit…

Her texts would remain secret, and her silly fantasies with them. In any case, it wasn’t as if she intended to try anything for herself, and even less with Hector Escaton, all the more since he wasn’t even part of the batch her team had in charge. And also, rumor has it that fantasies aren’t always good when act upon!

With a lazy tap, Vivian quitted the reading app and dropped the tablet on her sheets before burying her face in her soft pillow. She let out a deep sigh in it, relaxed, and in fact, she fell asleep almost right away.

[woulddieforperrytheplatypus]

If Perry were to go rouge, I think his best bet would be to go to Dennis the Rabbit. He's just as dangerous as Perry and almost succeeded in hacking into the mainframe of the organization, so they'd be the perfect team to take down OWCA. Plus, since I think Dennis is a severely underrated character, I like to think he went rouge because of something to do with his own host family and lost sight of what was really important.

There should probably be a rogue Perry tag at this point because it’s kinda become a theme lmao but I think (?) this was the first rogue Perry post if y’all wanna see some context, but this is kind of independant from that. There’s so much to unpack here that the formatting is a little all-over-the-place, but hopefully it still makes sense.

I’m not gonna lie, the thought of Perry going to Dennis crossed my mind very briefly, but I kinda dismissed it as a “that wouldn’t happen so why dwell on it?” type deal. Now that you’ve got me thinking more into Dennis’s character, though, you might actually have a point. I don’t think Perry would actively seek Dennis out -- he may have gone rogue, but his OWCA training is still in tact and he’d likely still view Dennis as the bad guy -- but I can see Dennis seeking him out.

Dennis and Perry may be more alike than they let on. They are both incredibly skilled, which makes them either an incredible threat or an incredible asset depending on the situation. That’s what made No More Bunny Business what it was -- a damn near even match from an agent who historically has never had any real on-camera competition. Plus, between Sidetracked, Elementary My Dear Stacy, and OWCA Files, it’s incredibly obvious that Perry prefers to work alone, and that he gets frustrated when he’s forced to work with others. Dennis seems to be the same way -- he takes what Doof has to give, causes probably thousands of dollars in unnecessary damage to DEI, and peaces the fuck out -- basically the evil version of Perry taking OWCA’s tools and going about his business with as little contact with the agency as possible.

I’m sure that just seems like useless meta at first glance, but to me, it looks like motivation for Dennis to seek Perry out as soon as he heard that Perry went rogue -- and I have no doubt that he would hear Perry went rogue, just like I have no doubt that he would be able to escape on his own and the only thing keeping him from doing it earlier is that there was no reason to yet. 

I think that how they would connect relies pretty heavily on Dennis’s character and his past, so before I really get into what might happen if he tracked Perry down, I wanna talk about that. I love the idea that he would have faced the same type of shit Perry did, though I do feel like it would have to take more than a simple reassignment to warrant the type of anger Dennis has towards OWCA. I can’t help but wonder if somehow OWCA fucked up, and Dennis’s host family paid the price. Whether they got hurt or killed, I don’t know, but it would have had to be something serious, and probably something that kept Dennis from ever seeing them again. That would explain the grudge he has against OWCA, possibly to the point where his attempt to hack into the OWCA database wasn’t that extreme; he might have been genuinely trying to destroy OWCA in its entirety to keep other unsuspecting host families safe from OWCA’s carelessness. 

Now, Dennis has fought Perry before. In fact, he’s fought Perry twice. He’s been to Perry’s house; he’s met Perry’s family; he’s even been in Perry’s lair. He’s seen Perry think on his feet, and he’s seen Perry’s reflexes in action in a desperate attempt to hide any evidence of their fight from the Flynn-Fletchers  He probably knows Perry as an agent better than any of his peers (with the possible exception of Pinky because I’m sure they’ve run into each other a lot thanks to Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella), and I’d be surprised if he didn’t realize Perry was a lot like he was when he worked for OWCA -- cunning, hard-working, always looking out for his family above all else but still determined to get the job done. The only that that separated them was that Perry was still loyal to OWCA and Dennis was not. Once that barrier was out of the picture, this would be Dennis’s perfect opportunity to try to take down OWCA again, this time with backup. 

I’m writing this on the assumption that they can communicate pretty easily, whether it be through animal speech or pantomiming, but here’s how I think it would go down.

Let’s assume that Perry doesn’t have any sort of plan. He doesn’t immediately run to Phineas and Ferb or to Doofenshmirtz, partially because he doesn’t think they could help but mostly to keep them out of danger. Those would be the first places OWCA would look for him, which makes them the last places he would go. He’d have to find someplace to hide that OWCA wouldn’t even think to look in, and what better place to drive his coworkers away than the sewers? Sure, the kids have been down there a bunch, but that’s just because they’re weird; no one else is going to hang out down there cut to Scott in Subterranus. And, honestly, OWCA is just stupid enough to pass right by the sewers because surely no self-respecting agent would hang out in that dump, and no one wants to be the one to lead that fruitless search.

Then Dennis shows up, and Perry is immediately on the offense. He almost lost last time they fought hand-to-hand, and this time there are no carrots around to save him. And even though Dennis would claim he’s not here to start a fight, Perry wouldn’t necessarily believe him. Perry may have gone rogue, but he still views himself as the good guy and he’d still view Dennis as the bad guy because that’s what OWCA had told him, and going rogue doesn’t immediately negate everything OWCA’s ever taught him. 

Dennis would expect that. He knows what it’s like to be one of OWCA’s best and brightest, and he knows the uncertainty that comes with turning against them. That means he would know exactly how to explain why he went rogue, and he’d know exactly how to convince Perry that he’s right: OWCA is too far gone to save. Whether he is right or not is up for debate, but Perry is still reeling from OWCA’s impromptu decision to send him away in the middle of the night with no warning, so Perry might go for it, if only to give him a free pass to hang out with his family again.

Between Perry and Dennis, OWCA would not stand a chance. Sure, the fact that OWCA is on high alert looking for them and is definitely monitoring the Flynn-Fletcher’s, DEI, and Perry’s lair throws a bit of a wrench in their plans, but they’d get around that and they’d take OWCA out. 

I don’t know what would happen after OWCA fell, though. Perry would probably just want to spend time with his family and thwart Doof, and he’d continue to do that in whatever capacity he could. Maybe Dennis would rebuild a new version of OWCA, one that’s hopefully fair and gives their agents and their host families the respect, protection, and time off that they deserve. Then again, maybe he’d rebuild OWCA and it would be genuinely evil and Perry would have to pull an Uno reverse card and team up with the Phineas and Ferb Save Summer gang to bring back the old OWCA. I just really think that Perry and Dennis would be such a power duo and I’m so glad you brought that up because I am totally going to work Dennis into my swearing!Perry fic now lmao

[mcyt-amber-tftsmp]

𝐀 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐀 𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 {𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐛𝐨𝐛 + 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫}

Request?: Fanvergent5

Character: Ranbob

Side Character(s): none

Story-type: Platonic

Story Length: 1450 words

AU or Not: It just takes place after the incidents just ranbob becoming a bit calmer and regrets killing the fishermen off and decided to not do it again like ever

Time Period: Future

Plot Summary: Y/N reintroduces Ranbob to the outside world that she's from. There could be new things he's never seen before cause of how long he's been underwater. Eventually y/n asks about Mizu and when Ranbob tells say he doesn't remember much they go looking through the library they originally found (Karl's library)

Small Info: Maybe Karl's library in Mizu could include some of the other places he's traveled to or even the truth of all the dsmp characters Ranbob would be OOC!

Keywords:

Y/N = Your Name

Trigger Warning: none

Normal Warning: Cringe writing- and practically short! ;-; oof!

--------------------------------------------------

Third person Point Of View~

"So what's it like in the Outside World you are from?"

Those words left Ranbob's mouth as he looked at you. He hasn't really been to the overword for a really long time and has been in Mizu for most of his life and he could tell many things have changed after 11 years of staying down here. Y/N could tell.

"Eh! It's alright to be honest. There are people who are nice and then there are people who chose to be rude and obnoxious. In my opinion majority of the people where I come from are actually nice." She started.

This actually made Ranbob want to know more.

"Can I know more if you don't mind about where you come from?" He asked as you looked at him as a smile formed on your face as you nodded.

"Yeah sure!" You said as you started to tell him.

You told him how there in your town many people help each other when they are in need, how the town baker is always there and giving the poor people on the streets food for free and how there is a big library which stands out the most in the town. You even told him about how there is always an event of gladiators that takes place in the Subbin Empire led by King Porkius VII.

Ranbob's eyes lit up at the things you said. It was pretty fascinating how in eleven years things could change for the better. To be honest he missed the outside world a lot. But he's grown so used to being here that it would be a bit weird for him when he goes back but he will be able to manage hopefully.

"There are also mobs which happen to spawn at night but thankfully they don't really cause that much havoc like they used to. The endermen mobs are pretty much peaceful and don't attack as much when you accidentally look them in the eyes." You said finishing what you had to say.

"Woah... I guess a lot of things have changed." Ranbob said as you nodded.

"Mhm! So do you mind if I get to know more about the City of Mizu? If that's okay by you?" You asked as Ranbob slowly nodded.

"Sure I really don't mind just the problem is that I don't really have that much of a good memory. I may have taken that from my ancestor. But there is a library that could give a good explanation on things considering many of the history laying around here are mostly wrong. I have the key for that." He said as he ushered you to follow him to it.

It was a long walk but you two made small talk and would crack small jokes every once in a while. Those had to die down when you reached the vast door of what you thought lead to the library. Ranbob put the key through the lock and turned it to open the door which revealed a huge library filled with books and shelves and many parchments, books and quills.

"I will be honest with you. I found this library a month ago. Back then I didn't really have access to this place since I couldn't find the key and would forget in seconds as to what I was doing. I managed to find this key in some room which I am sorry, I may have forgotten." Ranbob said rubbing his neck in embarrassment.

"It's alright Ranbob." You said as you looked around the place as you took out a few books to read.

You found a book which had some information on a person by the name Ranboo. You guessed that he was Ranbob's ancestor considering the name Ran and the fact that they are both half enderman and half something else. You read through the pages once you came to a part which you found very interesting.

"Hey Ranbob did you know that Ranboo was platonically married to a guy named Tubbo and adopted a zombie piglin child named Michael?" You asked which Ranbob looked a bit shocked and slightly pissed and this made you giggle slightly.

You went through other books and came across another book which was about a person named Karl Jacobs. he seemed to be pretty intriguing to say the least considering he had two fiances named SapNap and Quackity. Ranbob didn't seem to like the Quackity guy since he told him about how he was slightly stupid and other stuff.

What other interesting thing about Karl was how he was a time traveler. It showed the many places he had been into which consisted of the past, present and future. It was something very exciting yet it was dangerous.

You also read on about another guy who happened to be Demigod/god figure. Somebody by the name FoolishG. He wasn't an all powerful God like DreamXD who you guessed was Dream's brother or something. Though the one thing about Gods which made you feel intimidated was their height which reaches like 20 feet or above. Again it was very scary.

You also read about how there was a Red Egg which was a huge danger to the entire Dream SMP which existed a while back in the past. Sources say that it had been defeated hopefully for it to never come back for the second time.

You had hoped it never comes back after what you read from this. Ranbob was pretty much praying for that egg to not come back either since he doesn't seem to like the idea of getting infected or something.

You wnet through other characters like Eret, GeorgeNotFound, Captain Puffy, Awesamdude, Ponk, BadBoyHalo, Skeppy, Philza Minecraft, Wilbur Soot, TommyInnit, Tubbo, Purpled, Technoblade, Punz, Niki Nihachu, Hannah Rose and so on.

After all the reading you noticed how late it was and told Ranbob that you had to get going. Ranbob nodded as he led you out of the library as he closed it quickly behind you and went with you to the entrance.

You went towards your boat as Ranbob looked at you. You came up with an idea as you looked at Ranbob.

"Hey Ranbob?" She asked.

"Hm?" He hummed in response.

"Do you want to go to with me to see the outside world? I thought you would want to go see it yourself since you had a lot of interest and whatnot." You said as Ranbob pondered.

He did want to go but did he want to right now? He wasn't really sure. Plus it was night time and he didn't feel like going at this time right now so he shook his head.

"Don't get me wrong I do want to but not right now. Maybe another time." He said as you nodded.

"I get it. Though let me know whenever you want to cause this isn't the last time I am coming back here. You are a really great company to have. Can we be friends though?" She said and asked which brought a smile on Ranbob's face.

"Sure." he said with a nod.

"Alright! See you tomorrow! Bye Ranbob!" You said as you sailed away on your boat by rowing the paddles.

"Bye Y/N!" He said as he watched until you disappeared out of sight.

To be honest it felt really nice talking to someone and not killing them off for once. He actually felt happy knowing he had found a friend. He was actually looking forward for you to come back tomorrow. He sighed and went down the ladder.

This time he was very happy and smiling without having to kill off anyone.

Guess this was something he had been missing his whole life.

A very good friend.

--------------------------------------------------

[ambitionsource]

can we just talk about nigel... walk us through him please

i’m 2 months late to answering this, but yes. yes we can! i’ll try to give the same general portrait of him as i did in the past with like nate and stuff, hopefully it will be somewhat coherent bc i love him and he deserves to be appreciated and understood just as much as our other fave a class kiddos

so as we all know damn well at this point, nigel is an aspiring actor. he’s one of the few students in the a class who has a very core passion that he doesn’t waver from (like in the way maya, farkle, yindra, riley, etc. kind of just do lots of everything -- and eat up the opportunities in their wake LOL -- nigel is like zay in that they both have very clear areas of expertise that they dedicate most of their energy and passion to). and though he’s not as intense or vocal about it, acting is extremely important to nigel. actually, the whole process and experience of being an actor is, from the character work to the play reading and annotating to those moments of actual delivery. he’s an actor in his bones, equally as dedicated as maya or zay just significantly more outwardly laid back about it.

that being said, i feel like all you have to do to really get a sense of how deeply he cares about it is to... ask him about it. like if you get him talking about shakespeare, any of his plays, the kid who always seems so quiet and laid back will be talking a mile a minute and unpacking the nuances and brilliance of shakespeare’s works faster than you can keep up. he’s also like this -- tho not to the same degree as acting -- about classical music / jazz / a capella choirs / orchestra (since he plays the violin), local cafes + coffee, nostalgic story-driven cartoons like digimon that he watched on pbs when he was younger, and editorial cartoons. like he’s the friend that sends yindra and zay his favorite political cartoon from the new york times every sunday to their group chat (and after some time, jade gets these excerpts too). he’s also decently savvy about fashion, at least the lowkey hipster art deco pretentious chic type of fashion. i think he’s similar to asher, riley, and charlie in that he comes off a certain way and everyone assumes they know what he’s like bc he’s great a maintaining this calm persona, but those who really know him know that it’s all a charade and he’s extremely nerdy, excitable, enthusiastic, and impassioned, etc. if he’s comfortable with you, then you get the full nigel chey experience with all those quirks and eccentricities.

part of the reason nigel has the calm, unbothered persona, though, is mainly because of his family. he has a good relationship with his parents and his siblings, but he comes from a family where there’s a lot to juggle and so many things going at once that it behooves him and makes him feel better to be out of the way and not adding to anyone’s plate. as we mentioned on the income scale, nigel is one of the scholarship students at aaa, so much of his parents’ time is dedicated to making ends meet and looking out for all of the chey children. nigel has a few siblings, but the age gap for the most part isn’t that wide. he has an older sister who is one year ahead of him in school (but is not an artist, she’s studying to be a school counselor), a younger sister who is a freshman, a younger brother who is in middle school, and then the baby brother of the family who was unplanned and thus is quite a few years younger than the rest of them. so they’re a crowded, hectic little clan, and nigel feels like the best thing he can do is just stay out of the way as much as possible and be useful when he can. so he’s become very good at internalizing unpleasant emotions, letting things go, and not getting riled up (esp by provocation of younger siblings). in some ways, this has also made him a bit of a doormat, as we see in some scenes with yindra and zay where their personalities are just so much louder than his so he tends to default to them or try to keep the peace.

nigel also puts a lot of pressure on himself because of the money situation in their family as well as the unspoken expectations of his parents. both of them are supportive of him pursuing acting, and they always do their best to make it to at least one of his performances, but they’ve taken pains to make it understood that nigel is going to have to work his ass off simply because they don’t have the means or industry savvy to help give him a leg up (like half of his classmates do). like, they wholeheartedly supported his application to aaa -- especially his dad, who is a bit of a lit nerd himself and loves shakespeare / passed that on to him -- but they made it clear that if he couldn’t get a scholarship, it just wouldn’t be feasible. thankfully, that worked out for the best, but i think nigel lives very aware of that threat nipping at his heels at all times and that’s part of why he throws himself so deeply into the work and was basically oblivious to any other form of Teenagerdom (i.e., jade’s crush or his potential feelings for anyone) for most of his time at aaa.

there’s also a bit of an internal pressure in wanting desperately to make his family proud and feel secure about his future in such an unstable career. like his mom is an analytical mind, she was studying to be an engineer when she was in college but then she dropped out to help take care of nigel’s maternal grandparents and so she never got to realize that for herself and i think she has a lot of anxiety about nigel ending up in a similar situation where he isn’t as secure or happy as she wants him to be. but she doesn’t really like... understand in her head that thats where her hesitation is coming from + the fact that she just isnt an artist and doesnt really get why doing such a risky career would be worthwhile. she supports him, but doesn’t logically Get it. so i think nigel wants to be able to Prove to her he’s got it under control, that he’ll be okay, so that then they can just enjoy his passion as much as he does without worrying about him at the same time. he’s also the first son of the family, and so he has a sort of subconscious pressure as well from masculinity in terms of like coming out successful and able to help support his family, both his and the one he builds in the future with a partner. so big melting pot of anxieties and pressures going on in that beautiful nerdy head of his, but he doesn’t talk about it really even with people he trusts (like yindra and zay) nor do i think he truly understands himself that he’s carrying all that around. it will probably hit him eventually. guess we’ll find out someday!

(fun fact: nigel’s mom also does side work as a seamstress, so that’s part of why he has such a natural appreciation for that type of work. now who else do we know who is a masterful seamstress... hm... its on the tip of my tongue...)

all of that being said, at his core nigel truly is a very laidback guy. its somewhat a persona, but it also is true to his inner self. he’s passionate, but in a tempered and healthy way. i think that sometimes, despite how creative he is in many aspects, he struggles to think outside the box and off the beaten path because of how important measured success and competence is to him. so things like maya doing whatever the fuck she wants and yindra thinking about skipping college and just jumping into the industry don’t compute for him (the same way all of it doesn’t really click for his mom), and as we know, he sometimes becomes frozen in inaction because that feels safer or more logical. and he’s just never going to be the diva that zay or maya or farkle can be, and he’s content with that. if he’s going to make it, in his head, he’s going to achieve it through hard work, dedication, attention to craft, and being a decent person who people enjoy working with. and he also definitely understands the importance of knowing who to trust and having that tight inner circle, i.e., what he has with the true star squad of yindra and zay.

-- Maggie

[nyerus]

MDZS  vs.  The Untamed

Differences between “Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation” (Mó Dào Zǔ Shī - 魔道祖师) and its live drama adaptation “The Untamed” (Chén Qíng Lìng - 陈情令)

(If you want to skip right to the differences, please see below the cut!)

I’ve recently fallen into the MXTX fandom by crying through TGCF and I’ve been delighted to see that I’m not the only one who’s been newly inducted. I've been seeing so much of the live action adaptation of MDZS, i.e. CQL, on my dash, and I'm so happy about it. After watching it, I thought it wouldn't be a bad idea to make a post cataloging the differences between CQL and MDZS for those interested.  (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ The goal of this post is for two reasons: First, to help people who are totally new to MDZS and are starting out with CQL as their entry, and then reading the novel (or going to the donghua/manhua). This will hopefully help them get their bearings in regards to the fandom, so that they won't be confused when coming across certain content that isn't in the live drama. Second, this is to help folks who have already read the novel/etc to understand what's different in the live action, so when/if they choose to watch CQL, they aren't caught off-guard by any changes. (I won't get into the manhua/donghua in this post because it's already too long as it is.) Hopefully, this will also help bridge the gap between fans, so that we can have a fun and shared experienced over this incredible world brought to us by MXTX! This post is split into two distinct sections: one without any major spoilers, and one with spoilers. If you want to be as unspoiled as possible and just want to know the big differences between the novel and drama, please read only the first portion. The second //spoiler-filled// portion is divided into other major and minor differences, and is mainly intended for people who have experienced at least one version already. Additionally, if you are completely new to MDZS, there are things which may seem like spoilers to you, but happen in like the first page of the novel/in the summary itself (or in the first 10mins of the first episode), and will not be treated as such. I will do what I can to keep actual spoilers out of the first section….

Before jumping right into it though, I think it’s time to say that many of the differences in CQL are in large part due to the strict censorship laws that China has. Unfortunately, we just have to live with this fact. Thankfully for us, the creators of CQL have earnestly tried their best in keeping the major points and themes of MDZS in tact, and have really stuck to the spirit of the series. Kudos to them and the actors for their hard work!

SPOILER-FREE DIFFERENCES

There is no explicit romance between Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji in CQL. They are literally called soulmates right in the CQL summary, and there are very obvious romantic undertones to their relationship in the drama—but there is nothing explicit on-screen. Naturally, due to censorship. While the novel has the two in an intimate (and very explicit) relationship where they end up literally married, the show tones this down to something more subtle. It’s still pretty obvious that they’re in love though. (Especially in the 20-episode wangxian special edition.) Also, they always seem to be sharing a room with one bed….

The plot is modified for CQL. In the novel, the plot revolves around Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji following an aggrieved spirit as they uncover the truth of what’s going on. In CQL, this was changed from the dismembered arm of said spirit to a sword, but it serves virtually the same purpose as it does in the novel. The other real major difference with the plot is that something known as “Yin Iron” is what drives a majority of the past’s plot. It has its origins tied to demonic cultivation, which I will explain more below. It doesn’t drastically change the actual plot itself, but does change some motivations, etc. This is not present in the novel.

Wei Wuxian is not the founder of demonic cultivation in the drama. Yes I know this seems whack. After all, the original novel is literally called Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation/Founder of Diabolism. But due to censorship laws, they had to change this. Wei Wuxian still uses demonic cultivation, and still invents many things (the compass, the spirit flags, the amulet, etc). He’s still shown as a prodigy—but demonic cultivation is a thing that’s been around long before the story takes place; it’s just that no one uses it except Wei Wuxian. The reason is the existence of the Yin Iron. It was something that was found and revered long ago, and is a source of dark power. Hence, why demonic cultivation already exists, but also why no one follows that path. The necromancy angle is also downplayed in CQL.

Wei Wuxian’s morality is somewhat different. Again, due to censorship restrictions. In the novel, Wei Wuxian is far more of a gray character who does some questionable things. He makes mistakes, there are things which are definitely his fault, and he has many things which he regrets. However in CQL, he is shown more as a victim of circumstance. He’s portrayed as a much more innocent character, who happens to be doing what’s right, and is just continually fucked over. He still does plenty of questionable things, but it’s less so than in the novel. In both versions, he is still Chaotic Good, just the novel emphasizes chaotic, and the drama emphasizes good. Also, CQL doesn’t really portray Wei Wuxian’s breakdown or deteriorating mental health before his death too deeply.

Wei Wuxian’s death in the beginning of the story is different. The novel is much more vague in this regard, and it is more drawn-out. I will return to this point later as well, in regards to spoilers. The live drama has a more… “peaceful” and quick type of death for Wei Wuxian, and given how it’s the very first scene that you see in the show, it may catch novel fans off guard. Still absolutely heart-wrenching though, especially when you see it play out in full later on.

The structure of the live drama’s narrative is different. While MDZS intersperses its main story in the present timeline with flashbacks (as do the donghua and manhua), CQL goes about it differently. After episode 2, CQL takes the viewer all the way to the past and goes through the entire timeline of events which happen leading up to Wei Wuxian’s death as seen in the first few scenes. From episode 3 to episode 33, you are firmly in the past only. Novel readers may find that this causes many things to be revealed quite early on. The change in structure is probably the biggest difference. From episode 33 and onwards, you are back to the present.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji’s relationship in the present timeline is different to start out with. The novel has Wei Wuxian first operating under the assumption that Lan Wangji doesn’t like him. This eventually turns around, and deepens into a romantic relationship between the two. CQL on the other hand, has present-timeline!Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji having a much more tender relationship from the moment they meet again.

Wei Wuxian’s appearance remains the same after he is resurrected in the drama. While in the novel and other adaptations, Wei Wuxian takes on the appearance of Mo Xuanyu (who happens to look similar to a younger him, luckily enough), this does not happen in the drama. Probably done for convenience’s sake. It is never properly explained other than the fact that along with the soul-summoning spell, Mo Xuanyu did some other things to ensure that Wei Wuxian returned to what looked like his old body. (Some body parts snatching might’ve been involved.) Thus, Wei Wuxian hides his identity by wearing a mask.

Everyone looks the same as they did when they were teenagers. Again, probably just for convenience’s sake. They spend a lot of time in the flashbacks so getting viewers used to one set of faces, and then changing everything would be jarring—and also expensive to swap out actors. So despite a 16 year gap, everyone looks the same with no aging. #cultivatingimmortality

The time gap between Wei Wuxian’s death and resurrection is slightly longer in the drama. It’s 16 years versus 13 years in the novel. Unsure of why the change, as it doesn’t change much apart from serving to make some of the kids older. Some kids’ ages are also slightly altered. It’s not a huge difference and it plays virtually no difference in plot. Also, I can’t confirm it, but everyone seems to start out older as well.

Xiao Xingchen, Song Lan, and Xue Yang are encountered much earlier in the drama. Before Wei Wuxian’s death, the three of them are encountered in Yueyang before the start of the Sunshot Campaign. The rest of their story plays out after Wei Wuxian’s resurrection.

Jiang Yanli, Wen Qing, and Wen Ning attend the classes at Cloud Recesses. This gives them a lot more screen time. Elaborated in spoilers below.

Wen Qing’s relationship with Wen Ruohan is more antagonistic from the start. Just like how Wei Wuxian is shown more as a victim of circumstance, so is Wen Qing (and by extension Wen Ning). Elaborated below.

The next section is spoiler-filled. It’s divided into two parts: major and minor differences. Turn back now if you don’t want serious spoilers for either CQL or MDZS!!!

SPOILER-FILLED MAJOR DIFFERENCES

After the dancing statue/Dafan Mountain incident — Wei Wuxian passed out, and wakes up in Cloud Recesses in Lan Wangji’s room. Both of them know™ already. Thus, Wei Wuxian doesn’t even try to pretend that he’s Mo Xuanyu in front of Lan Wangji, but he keeps up the appearance for other people until he’s figured out. This allows the two of them to have a very private relationship with each other.

Also lending to this, Wei Wuxian dies in a much different way in the drama, and dies knowing that Lan Wangji cares deeply about him. Thus why their relationship on his resurrection is so soft. He knew that Lan Wangji protected him and tried to save him until the very end, and is far more affectionate as a result.

Speaking of his death…. In CQL, Wei Wuxian chooses to basically swan dive off a cliff after seeing the horrors in front of him. It has a very lucid finality to it, and feels as though he has decided that only his death can bring peace, and so he falls back off a cliff—only to be caught momentarily by Lan Wangji. He eventually wrests himself from Lan Wangji’s grasp and falls to his death as Lan Wangji (and Jiang Cheng) watches in horror. The novel is far more vague and hints that he met a more gruesome end.

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian essentially make up at the end of the drama—or at least end on decent terms by agreeing to put their past behind them and move on. Wei Wuxian wipes away a stray tear as Jiang Cheng cries in front of him in the temple. After everything is said and done, Jiang Cheng privately and quietly wishes Wei Wuxian well as he leaves with Lan Wangji.

Lan Xichen does not go into seclusion at the end of the drama. Despite his trauma, he’s relatively okay as compared to the novel. The drama doesn’t really comment on this aspect, to be honest.

In CQL, Jiang Yanli attends the classes at Cloud Recesses with her brothers. She is given extra interaction with Jin Zixuan during this. Yanli is in general given way more screen time in CQL. She is present during the destruction of Lotus Pier (she appears with Jiang Fengmian), and escapes with Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng to Yiling.

Similarly, Wen Ning and Wen Qing are also present for the classes at Cloud Recesses. This is where they first meet Wei Wuxian (and Jiang Cheng), instead of Wen Ning and Wei Wuxian meeting in Qishan later. This gives all of them a pre-existing relationship before the events at Lotus Pier. Jiang Cheng also harbors a tiny crush on Wen Qing for a little bit. #same

Wen Qing is handled with much more suspicion by Wen Ruohan and Wen Chao, and during the Sunshot Campaign, she is even locked up. She’s saved by Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng, but goes her separate way until Wei Wuxian encounters her again after becoming the Yiling Patriarch proper.

Mianmian is shown to be a part of the Jin sect in CQL, and is close to Jin Zixuan. She renounces her ties to Lanling Jin after everyone starts hating on Wei Wuxian.

Mianmian is also encountered in episode 1. She and her family replace the random farmer family they meet once they leave Gusu (for the second time) on their way to the Burial Mounds. The timing of this may also be different. This is because there is no real “epilogue” that takes 3 months later, like the final chapter of MDZS.

Mo Xuanyu was not ostracized for the same reasons as in the novel. In the novel, he’s also thought to be insane, but was thrown out because he supposedly “harassed” Meng Yao (i.e. had romantic feelings for him which were found out and he was driven out of Lanling). In CQL, he was thrown out for “harassing” Qin Su, but in actuality was only trying to reveal the truth about her husband, and was thrown out as an excuse to get rid of him before he became troublesome.

During the hunt in Phoenix Mountain, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian have a heart-to-heart, and establish that they do, in fact, care for one another. (I’m pretty sure they use the word soulmate here, but the subs are like “lifelong confidante” lol.)

The origins of the bunnies is different in CQL, and is tied to Lan Yi—an ancestor of the Lan clan (the one who invented Cord Assassination). Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji find a cave in Gusu during their classmate days, which holds the spirit of Lan Yi. There, she reveals information about the Yin Iron and that she is guarding one piece of it. After all this, Wei Wuxian looks after the bunnies after taking them out of the cave, and as he leaves Cloud Recesses, he leaves them in the care of Lan Wangji.

The Gusu Lan sect is less rekt in CQL, as many of them are able to hide away in the aforementioned cave during the destruction of Cloud Recesses. Su She, then a disciple of Gusu Lan, betrays them by telling Wen Chao that the others are hiding in the cave. He’s summarily kicked out. In the novel, he’s the one that tries to rat out Mianmian when they’re facing the Tortoise of Slaughter. (He is still the one who casts the hundred holes spell on Jin Zixun.)

SPOILER-FILLED MINOR DIFFERENCES

In CQL, after his 33 lashes, Lan Wangji goes into forced seclusion for 3 years first. And then his 13 years of playing Inquiry start. Extra depressing, but it doesn’t change anything else.

The ghost baby that Wang LingJiao sees is replaced with a dismembered eye. Still gory. Don’t really know which one is worse…….. Her death is definitely less gory in CQL, though.

The Stygian Tiger Amulet was made of the strange weapon found in the Tortoise of Slaughter in both the novel and drama, but in CQL, said weapon was actually a fragment of the Yin Iron.

CQL shows a few scenes of Wei Wuxian when he first gets tossed into the Burial Mounds.

Lan Qiren is the head of the Gusu Lan sect, all the way through the story in CQL, including the end. Lan Xichen is never referred to as the sect leader.

Gusu Lan's rules are a little less strict in CQL. And co-ed classmates and cultivators seem to be the norm.

This post is certainly not 100% complete, as it’s just what I managed to pick up as I watched/read and remembered to note down. But if you have questions or comments, please reach out to me and I’ll do my best to answer! I hope this is as accurate as possible, but since I’m flying off memory...  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Take care, all! Feel free to drop into my DMs and scream with me!  ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊˚