#hot bloody hannibal is hot

[letmelickyoureyeballs]

Thank you phone for giving me the best image collage I could’ve asked for

[cyberstuckgirl]

hannibal is just a crazy girl in love honestly. let the man be ‼️‼️

doodle from the office today tee hee

[corpus-incorporated]

Using multiple techniques to figure out how to make the ideal bloodstained shirt a la will graham of hannibal fame

[florence-welch-enthusiast]

yall dont know what beaten and bloody mads mikkelsen does to me

[kittyamore0]

Slashers find out their S/O has killed:

[Part 3]

Cw: blood, murder, sexual themes, GN! Reader, blood kink, sex mentions

CHARACTERS: Bo Sinclair, Lester Sinclair, Bubba Sawyer, Kurt Kunkle, Patrick Bateman, Hannibal Lector, Normal Bates

BO SINCLAIR

He was trying to lure in victims into his house for Vincent to kill

"Let me help you with that,"

BAM!

Blood splatters all over him

"THE FUCK-"

He's absolutely shocked

The hell did you come from?

"Sorry, Baby Bo."

He's finally staring at you, and you're holding a goddamn bat

A bloody bat.

Theres blood on him.

And it belongs to the person he was trying to lure in...

click. He could quite literally hear that noise as it finally clicked in his mind about what you had done

You just killed the person he was trying to lure in...

"H-HOLY SHIT!-"

"Y-YOU JUST?!-"

"WHERE DID YOU?!-"

"HUH?!"

He's just staring at you while you wipe the blood off his messy, bloody shirt

He snaps out of his daze when you land quick peck on his chapped lips

And where you this hot...?!

Needless to say, hes was very shocked and confused.

He still is, but hes come to an acceptance that you also kill people

LESTER SINCLAIR

"Les, i got something!"

"coming!"

He hopped in the truck and ruffled your hair

"Good job! What animal did you get?"

"You'll see~"

What in the hell did you mean by that.

He shrugged it off and let you drive

He noticed that the closer you guys got to your catch, the animals did in fact NOT look like animals

It looks like two people inspecting 4 dead bodies

wait,

WHAT THE FUCK-

Blood spilled all over the car windows

You just sat there laughing

When he got into the truck, he was expecting you got a roadkill

NOT FUCKING 6 HUMAN DEAD BODIES

He's shocked, he will not get over this

"O-oh, well, i have a killer S/O. That's nice..."

He's trying to rethink his life while you're just sitting there hugging him with dead bodies in front of the car

BUBBA SAWYER

He had just come back from chasing around a group full of boys and girls

He was very upset

He only managed to get 3 out of 6!

the other 3 went missing

He just assumed they had escaped

Though, there was no trail that they had escaped

Which confused him greatly

He noticed you cutting up something

Then he saw three heads and one alive chicken

Just what he needed

Some nice dinner

Wait.

Where'd you get those heads?

WAIT WERE THOSE THE OTHER THREE?!-

"Hey, Bub. These rascals were running around the house, and i wasn't going to let them make a mess here."

He's silent for a minute

"Bub? is something wrong?-"

You yelped when he picked you up and hugged your body against his

Happy babbling from him

KURT KUNKLE

Lets all be honest,

You both would use both of you're craziness to get fame

You would wear a mask while filming yourself stabbing someone

He would pretend that its special effects

Only on Halloween since its more believable

Has you hiding in the trunk of the car so you can pop out and slit the persons throat

Will actually laugh at this

He'll do those couple challenges with you after you'd just killed someone

Just watches you as you kill one of his passengers

Will automatically say 'no' if someone asked for help

He'll start driving crazy fast just to scare the passengers

Not too fast where the cops had to stop him though

He first met you when you were robbing a convenience store

You had a mask on and a gun held in your hand

He was confused on how the police hadnt come yet

That was until he saw that the cameras were shot down

You had killed almost everyone and was money and some snacks

You noticed his figure standing there, so you pointed your gun at him

"Woah, woah! Lets calm down now, alright?"

You held your gun down

You thought he was cute

He was your type

So, you just hopped over the counter and grabbed him

"W-wait, where we going?!-"

You ran out of the back door and into an alleyway

You took off your mask and put your index finger to your lips

He thought you was mad cute

"U-uh, so, whats your n-name? im Kurt-"

"Shut up, and move faster."

PATRICK BATEMAN

He honestly would not care

Oh, you kill?

Well, he kills too!

He would most likely team up with you, his S/O, to get rid of people who annoyed him

He thinks you're attractive when you kill

Sex after you or him had killed

He would literally go DOWN on you

slight blood kink

But doesn't like it when you have someone else's blood on you while you two are getting intimate

Doesn't like someone else's blood on him either

So, he'll shower or have you shower first

And after that, he'll pull out that knife and make little nips and cuts on your body

One way of him marking you

He'll show you off even more

He honestly knows if someone tried flirting with you, they'd be gone

And not because of him

HANNIBAL LECTOR

He came home and couldnt find you

He had checked everywhere in the house, except for one place

The garage

He opened the garage door to see you holding 2 huge bagged items

And 4 un-bagged...

Human bodies...

And 3 chickens

"Han! We ran out of food, so i got what you liked and something for me as well. Do remind me, which organ do you like best?"

He was shocked to say

But he quickly got over it

"Any is fine, dear."

He had a sincere smile plastered on his face

This made him feel more secure about you

His S/O went through the trouble to make him dinner that fits his interesting taste?

How...

Lovely.

He would have to find out a way to repay you

NORMAN BATES

He liked you. A lot.

But his mother didnt

At first.

You stepped into the bates motel with someone else with you

Norma, Normans mother, was already judging you

Norma took over when you went into your room with that other person

He made it towards your room, in front of your door

Then he heard screams

Norma was absolutely shocked

He used the master key to open the door and saw you murdering the other person you had come into the motel with

Norma took a liking to you

Someone who was like her son...

She didn't like the thought of her son, Norman, around people like you

But you were an exception

Norman had also liked you

The next day, Norman had took it upon himself to talk to you

Norma had encouraged him too

"H-hi, Im-Im Norman."

"Hello, Norman."

He fainted.

[slasher-male-wife]

Make him dog food: Hannibal x gn reader

This is more of a personal thing based on a non-fan fiction thing I'm writing. I've been thinking and processing a lot of stuff and I am just feeling a lot of things. I love horror revenge stories so I felt this fit well.

Content warnings: Talk of cannibalism, murder, mentions of past abuse and sa, dogs being fed human meat, reader is kinda unstable, reader breaks down a bit

"Y/n. What are you doing here?" Hannibal asks, seemingly ignoring the fact you're covered in blood, but he knows it's not yours. Your face is tear stained and bloody along with the rest of your body.

"I killed him." You say cryptically walking into his house. He shuts the door behind you and guides you to his bathroom.

"Who did you kill?" He asks calmly, sitting you down and taking off your shoes.

"My ex-boyfriend." You say, running a hand over your hair. You look down at your hands covered in dry blood and just stare at them while Hannibal takes off your socks. "I've told you about him before. He's the one who never took no for an answer, you know who I'm talking about." Hannibal nods.

"Did it feel good?" He asks, standing back up and looking at you. He knows what your ex-boyfriend did to you when you were dating. How he abused and assaulted you over and over again. You'd mentioned your feeling about what should be done to him, Hannibal only encouraged them. "Did killing your ex-boyfriend make you feel like you finally got justice?" He asks, turning on the shower.

You shake your head and look over at him, finally picking up on the scent of the dried blood all over you. Before you killed him you paralyzed him. You took your time killing him. He didn't deserve a quick, painless death.

"It made me feel better. But it's not justice. I brought the body here. It's in my car. I know you eat people Hannibal. But eating him is too good for his body," You say, standing up, "Are you visiting Will Graham anytime soon? At his house in Virginia?" You take off your coat and hand it to Hannibal.

"Yes I am, in a couple days." He smiles slightly and motions for you to go into the shower. "What does Will Graham have to do with your plans?" You put your hand under the shower head and feel the temperature of the water.

"Let's feed him to dogs. I want to make him dog food." You say, watching as the dried blood starts to wash away from your hand slowly.

Hannibal nods and opens the bathroom door. "I can have that arranged. Shower first, I'll get the body ready." He shuts the door and you peel off your bloody sweater and pants. You get fully undressed and walking into the shower, the run off water going from clear to pink.

You start to clean yourself with soap when some tears roll down your cheeks. You got your revenge, he can't hurt anyone anymore, but it still hurts to even think of what he did. You start to quietly sob as you keep washing yourself, scrubbing your skin harder and harder, maybe hoping you'll reach a layer of skin he never touched.

When you leave the shower your skin is hot and irritated from the water and the scrubbing you did. You wrap yourself in a towel and gather your dirty clothes before leaving the bathroom. You find clothes laid out for you from Hannibal. You put your dirty clothes in the hamper in the room and put on the clean ones. You dry off your hair and take a couple deep breaths when it all hits you.

This entire time you've felt detached from what he did to you but now, after killing him it's all coming back. You start to break into a sob, a loud, guttural sob. Hannibal comes back into the room and helps you stand up. He holds you in his arms while you sob, your head throbbing with pressure and your cheeks becoming wet.

After a good ten minutes of you sobbing you finally calm down. You wipe your eyes and pull away from Hannibal.

"Make him dog food." You say seriously to him, your voice still choked from the sobbing. Hannibal just smiles slightly and nods.

"I will." Is his reply.

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 君子盟/A League of Nobleman

A League of Nobleman is the unfortunately translated English title of a 2023 historical drama about an idealistic country boy/genius detective/noodle seller, and a wealthy minister on a mission to exonerate his late father from charges of treason, even if he himself has to commit some treason in the process.

I watched this one not too long after it came out, and I was expecting there would be a lot of buzz as soon as fandom got hold of it. There wasn't, but I can understand why. The show is a lovely, ethereal drama that has some genuinely moving moments, stunning visuals, and charming character interactions.

It is, however, kiiiiiiiind of a hot mess.

What follows is an incredibly qualified rec. Unlike most of the previous shows I've recommended, this show is not something you could just throw at your Average American Television Enjoyer. Censorship got its claws into this one, and what's left is ... okay, imagine fliming all of Hannibal just like you want it, and then right before it airs, NBC comes in and says, okay, now we're just going to take out all the parts that are gay and violent and gory! You know what you'd have left? You'd have a League of Nobleman, is what.

(If you want a little more explanation of what's awkward about it, here's a take based on the first ten episodes. Note that not everything that bothers AvenueX bothers me, but they're fair critiques.)

Therefore, I'd have a tough time recommending this to someone who hasn't already built up a tolerance for the experience of seeing a scene end nearly mid-sentence, or hearing described something that happened just offscreen (while seeing no one's lips move). You need to be prepared to look through the jank to see the show we could have had beneath the show that actually arrived.

Even so, I have five reasons I think you should at least give it a shot!

1. That precious baby boy

Look at him. Look at his precious face. Don't you just want to stuff him down the front of your shirt and take him home with you?

That is Zhang Ping. He is the hero and he is a good boy.

He is a darling dumpling who grows up reading novels about how members of the judiciary nobly solve crimes and punish the unjust, so he decides that he wants to move to the big city and become a member of the judiciary to nobly solve crimes and punish the unjust! ...Until he gets there and realizes, no, baby, that was fiction. But gosh darn it, he's going to try anyway.

I have seen people say they read Zhang Ping as autistic. While I'm not sure that's specifically what the show itself was going for, that's kind of the effect -- which, I think, is why I've also seen a lot of people say they don't like Song Weilong's performance. I don't think he's wooden or unemotional; I think he just made a choice to play the character as not always real good about understanding why the people around him are having the emotions they're having. Similarly, I think what makes him read as anachronistic is mostly how he doesn't engage well with the rules of social convention that are such important parts of this historical setting.

Like, you see that picture above, with him and Lan Jue whispering at one another? Zhang Ping is doing this because he is absolutely convinced that this is appropriate subterfuge behavior. Lan Jue is matching him because he thinks Zhang Ping is adorable.

Just the goodest boy. A baby. Please care him.

2. the aesthetic

The show is beautiful. It looks and sounds amazing. For some reason I can't find a clip of just the opening credits, but here's a (strangely bloody) trailer that gives a sense of its general vibe:

As you can see a couple times in there, the show makes great use of tilt-shift photography -- you know, the thing where you change the focal length until everything starts to look fake? It creates a weird, dreamlike effect where parts of the frame are out of focus for no reason, or actual locations start to look like model-train miniatures. Many of the shots are framed like this, giving the entire thing a very pretty, very uncanny look.

And speaking of the dreamlike: If there's one thing I've come to expect from C-dramas, it's bad CGI. That is not the case here! The CG is used so sparingly that it's unobtrusive and actually quite nice. Much more of the weight of the show's look relies on practical effects that are supported and amplified by CG, which is the optimal combo. When it does go all in on CG, it's in the service of dreamscapes that are supposed to look unreal anyway.

The show does admittedly have a mild problem of using a cool effect and then largely forgetting that effect exists. For example, the first episode has a really neat "freeze time and walk through a crime scene" bit! And then we barely ever see that ability again. But the show's doing so many other lovely things that you don't really feel the absence until you stop to think about it all later. So don't stop to think about things! That's my motto! (It really isn't.)

The directors also just have a lovely eye for things -- which is extra-surprising considering that both of them are first-time directors. That can be fun, though, when you get people who haven't gotten stuck in their ways get, so they're still being new and weird with it. ...Of course, I bet that's also some of why so much of the show quite obviously got cut to ribbons, if you're also working with directors who also haven't figured out how to get away with things just yet.

Overall, the production values are very high. This show clearly had a fairly solid amount of funding behind it, but it also used its resources smartly. Most costumes are elegant but not extravagant. Detailed sets are small and beautiful locations are contained. While I have great respect for productions that try to create epics on a shoestring budget, there's something to be said for a project that sets its sights on the achievable, then puts its effort into doing what it can, well.

3. A ship for everyone!

There are so many potential ways to pair up them boys. The show's main pair dynamic is between country mouse Zhang Ping and city mouse Lan Jue, but it surely does not stop there. In fact, I've made a helpful chart that shows you all the potential flavors of gay you can enjoy at this particular danmei buffet:

(And yes, if you've seen the show, you know there's at least one more line that I could've drawn here, but I don't want to spoil anything.)

Now, whether you do read any of these dynamics as sexual/romantic is up to you. The point is that you could. For example, I personally am not that into Lan Jue/Xu Dong, but if you lose your shit when a competent sword guy owes a life debt to the defenseless noble he works for? You could have a lot of fun with what the show gives you.

Obviously, because this is a censored c-drama, there are no canon gay romances. However, a couple of them are more textual than others, especially the ones that center Lan Jue, because everyone clearly wants a piece of that fancy flat ass.

One of AvenueX's comments from the video I linked earlier is that the main couple has less sparkle together than each of them has individually with the man that's supposed to be his bestie. While that changes as the show goes on, these two side pairs never cease to be enjoyable. Whether you read them as sexual or not is up to you! Romantically or platonically, they're still a delight to watch bounce off of one another.

And Lan Jue/Gu Qingzhang (that one terrible ex from the chart) is, uh, basically textual? It's miles into "there is no straight explanation for this" territory. Again, avoiding spoilers here, but trust me. You get to see their secluded love nest and everything. Shit's real gay.

Then, of course, there's the main pair:

This is clearly the one that got hit real hard by cuts to the material. It's a damn shame, because this is clearly meant to be the core of the whole narrative. Despite that, the two of them have a fascinating dynamic that changes over the series from outright suspicion to cautious care to absolute trust. It's a great combo of someone who is too honest for his own good and someone so used to court politics that he lies as easily as breathing.

Ironically, the source material is Not Gay, to the point where the author has basically disowned this series as being so different from her original work as to be unrecognizable. You sort of have to wonder about the creative thought processes that led to taking a gen work and deciding to BL it up for the live-action adatation. I'm not complaining, mind you, but it is a little bit of an unforced error.

So whatever flavor of gay it is you're into, the odds are very good that this drama will have at least enough of it to keep you interested!

4. A very charming cast

I got to gush about Song Weilong's Zhang Ping earlier, but honestly I think everybody's pretty enjoyable, from the main cast to the recurring side characters to the one-off extras who show up for a single episode. Everybody's playing it weird and theatrical, so I get it if that's not your cup of tea. However, I feel all the performances are well-suited to the slightly surreal style of the production.

Here's just a couple of the real gems:

Jing Boran's Lan Jue has the perfect regal bearing of a fussy gentleman, but with a very endearing softness underneath. He spends half his time with eyes brimming with unshed tears, and the other half making heart-eyes at his boyfriends. You understand why everybody in the empire wants to ride him like they stole him, and that's even before he lets his hair down and starts dressing in slutty sheer robes. (I'm not entirely sure either he or the show knew how to play the character in the first few episodes, but he gets way better once he stops being so sinister and mysterious and gets to be cute and/or unhinged.)

There is one female character who shows up in more than one arc, and she is the Empress Dowager, and she is such a wonderful awful bitch. What a monster. Shi Yueling eats up every scene she's in by being the perfect mix of reprehensible and fascinating.

I was already primed to like Wang Duo because I liked watching him be a pretty snake boy in Yin-Yang Master: Dream of Eternity. Well, now he gets to be a pretty metaphorical snake boy here. I'm not spoiling anything by telling you he's bad news. He shows up damn near the end of the show and you know immediately he's bad news. But you don't know what kind of bad news he is, and that's fun to find out.

And speaking of actors I already liked from other places! Guo Cheng has mastered the art of acting with his mouth full. His Chen Chou is a sweet, earnest anchor in a world of tricksy boys.

There is something about Hong Yao's handsome face that makes Wang Yan perpetually look a little red-eyed, like he's trying hard to pretend that he wasn't just crying in his office. It's the perfect soft touch to his incredibly wonderful chad of a character. I'm usually not into the cocky jocks, but I will make such an exception for him.

I love you, fortune-telling gremlin grandpa.

5. Raw materials

Look, I assume if you've made it this far in the rec and you're still hanging on, you're interested for one of two reasons. The more normie reason is that you're into c-dramas in general (and probably period dramas in particular), and gay stuff is a selling point, so you see the appeal of turning on a drama where cute boys have emotions at other cute boys. That is a perfectly good reason to watch this drama, and if this is you, I hope you have fun!

The other reason is that you like making fan stuff, and you need some new blorbos to blorb in new and exciting combinations. Friend, I have that stuff for you right here.

A League of Nobleman has problems -- but they are problems that may be appealing to people who enjoy fixing things. There are literal holes in the series where actual, planned, filmed scenes were deleted! If you're looking for source material that's just begging you to fill in the gaps, look no further.

Of course I'm partial to the number of queer DIY romance options there are (see point 3), but that's not the extent of it. The setting is fascinating: an unspecified premodern Chinese dynasty magical enough to have a Bureau of Incantations, where the emperor is (for once) a cool dude, secluded village people live in semi-communal families, and one of the main characters can play Inception with people's heads. I'll say it plainly: If you are into kinky dream sex, this is the drama for you.

I should note that one of the things that doesn't need fixing is the overall shape of the series. The individual little case incidents seem disconnected, but they all weave together at the end as part of a (let's be real, ridiculously complicated) plot, giving the whole thing a pretty satisfying wrap-up. The show does not just fall off a cliff like Moriarty; it resolves in a way that's more than a little convoluted, but still overall satisfying. Also, a lot of those ships from the chart above, when it's all over, are still together. Some days that's all you need from an ending.

Maybe I sound like a broken record at this point, but to give you a sense of how heavy the hand of censorship clearly was, understand several of these episodes don't even break the 35-minute mark, and only four are even over 40 minutes long, when ~45 minutes is about the episode standard for this genre. (For comparison, every Untamed episode at least 42 minutes long.) I think it's important to realize just how much actual connective tissue got removed, way more than just individual censored shots or single redubbed lines.

And speaking of redubbed lines, the last episode of this show contains possibly the funniest NO HOMO in BL history. You have to see it to believe it -- or, rather, to not believe it, because the first time I watched, I didn't even understand what the hell the show was implying. I'll say no more.

Where to watch it!

I hope I've convinced you to at least give it a try! It's not a perfect show by any means, but it's a show with many good elements, and if you can embrace what's there without getting too hung up on what's not, it's a pretty good time.

If you're up for it, you can find it on this YouTube playlist -- though be prepared that it often mutes the opening music. It's also available on Viki (with ads, but less muting).

Just look at those precious, pinchable cheeks. Adorable.

[nalyra-dreaming]

I can relate to your whining about the threesome. It was so on the nose 🙃 It's wild that they seemingly cut out the sex altogether. I don't even expect the scene next episode to be anything like s1 either because it feels like they've given those up for a thicker plot. And like, to hell with sex, I'll live with that if they continue to deliver these masterpieces. It's a testament to the good writing that we haven't seen any, but the dynamic is so clear. Fanfiction will save us.

What puzzles me more is that there was no hunting from loumand. Before you say it, Daniel and Malik don't count. One is alive, one was eaten in obscurity 🤣 A lot of people were food but not theirs. Do you think they are building up to something (!! Louis in the bloody room)? Because I can see them discarding those if they just didn't surve the plot.

I mean, we got a threesome in season 1, with Lily. And given how Armand could sense Louis imagining Lestat there it would have even made sense within the narrative. Even if they'd done it like in Hannibal.

But yeah, I don't expect the sex scene next episode to be on the "only hot and wholesome" level either, not at this point of the play.

As per the hunting... I mean, Louis says Armand rarely eats. And Louis seems to leave messes behind - which Armand cleans up. And we KNOW the coven has cleaned up after Claudia and Louis.

Louis... will hunt before he will go after the theater.

If we will see that? I don't know. That scene in the bloody room has Armand standing in the hallway, just looking at the... mess.

But it's not about the morality of the kills, they've left that behind, imho.

As per "hunting together" - Louis does not like the way Armand hunts. He finds it, quote, "distasteful".

And so... I don't think he goes hunting with Armand, actually.

[call-sign-shark]

Pop Goes the Rat || Modern Arthur Shelby x Reader

Summary:  When Arthur Shelby was discharged from the Special Air Service Forces due to his PTSD symptoms, his whole life fell apart. As his mental health declined, his wife divorced, and he became a drug addict. But recently Arthur is more than committed to getting his shit together. He even goes to drug anonymous meetings. If he manages to stay clean and get better, he will be reintegrated into his unit. And if he is, maybe Linda will come back.

That being said, you had never been part of the plan. And yet you're here, ready to wreck his life and rob his heart. Who are you? Where do you come from? How did you end up in the streets? No one knows. What they know though is that you call yourself "Rat".

Words: 2.5k

TW: Mention of drug use, otherwise it's kind of cute and funny. The vibes are grumpy veteran x unhinged punk girl.

Notes:

♠ Even though I tried to keep "Rat" as Y/N as possible, there are two physical traits described: she has blue and long hair.

♠ This is not supposed to be a series but I had to exorcize this idea. If some people are interested in the concept I might write a few blurbs or one-shots for Rat and Arthur!

MASTERLIST

“I see a new face here! Welcome dear. I am proud you joined us in today’s session. What’s your name?”

“Arthur.” He mumbled, feeling awkward.

“Hi Arthur.” The whole participants replied in unison.

Arthur nodded to greet them but remained silent during the whole meeting. At first he was convinced that going to these anonymous groups was nothing else than bullshit, but as people shared their experiences and struggles he had started to feel better. To the point a faint smile flattered his lips. When the chairman clapped in his hands to signal the end of the discussion, Arthur got up from his chair and grabbed the leash of the huge malinois that was sleeping at his combat boots. Hannibal was his military dog, a fierce animal who had accompanied him throughout his most dangerous missions. Most of the time, he was also his only friend. The dog woke up and stretched his body, yawning. Even though the meeting had been a positive experience Arthur did not feel to talk with the other addicts. All he wanted now was to go home, take a hot shower and try to sleep. He left the place to go grab his jacket in the cloakroom. That was when he first saw you, your hand in the pocket of his utility jacket, seeking for his wallet.

“Oi! The fook are ye doing?!”

You jumped, heart missing at least two beats. To be true, you did not know what scared you the most: the man’s hoarse voice or the dog barking at you? But despite getting caught, your survival instincts kicked in and you exited the house through the window with a surprising agility. Arthur did not really bother running after you, for you had left his wallet. Moreover, he did not want Hannibal to tear you apart.

“Bloody hell.” He said out lout, barely processing what he had just seen. Was the young woman and her long blue hair really there or had he imagine her?

The second time you met, Arthur had just got out from the 24/24 shop nearby and was smoking a cigarette in the parking lot. Whenever he could not sleep, the soldier opted for a night walk and a snack or a cigarette rather than staying at home with his crippling anxiety. Usually he would take Hannibal with him but tonight he wanted to be alone, for he felt at the verge of relapsing into his bad habits: he was torn apart between the need to buy cocaine and his will of staying clean.

“I can’t. Fuck, I can’t do that.” He whispered to himself as his throat tightened at the sole thought of snorting some snow. The need was too overwhelming to resist — just one line, it could not be that bad right? Just one line, he told himself. It was at the moment he had made up his mind about whether or not to get high that he saw a familiar face.

A young woman with blue hair rushed out of the shop, a few stolen goods pressed against her chest. Her two long braids were floating behind her as she ran past him like some kind of feral pixie. Arthur frowned as he recognized that naughty little thief from the drug addicts meeting. Maybe that was why he grabbed her by the arm and forced her to stop.

“What the —“ You exclaimed, almost stumbling because of the sudden stop. You flickered on your legs a little bit and turned around in one vivid movement, your heart racing as you realized a man was keeping you from escaping.

“Nice to see you again, thief girl.” Arthur said, one brow raised.

You blinked several times, not recognizing him at first, but when you did your eyes widened even more, “The fuck is wrong with you dude?! Leave me alone!”

“What did you steal this time, eh?!” He replied. As he did his lips stretched in a carnivorous smile that showcased his pointy fangs.

“It’s none of your business, fucker! Let me go! Lemme go or I’ll scream!”

“You must be kidding m—“ Arthur could not finish his sentence for the shop holder hailed him. Truth be told, the man was fuming.

“Here you are stupid bitch!” He roared, one thick vein pumping on his forehead, “Thank you for catching her!” He said to him before shifting his attention back to you, “who’s laughing now? I’m going to call the fucking cops!”

“No, no, please, no.” You started to plead all the while pulling your arm in a desperate attempt to free yourself from the soldier’s grip but his strength outmatched yours. From then, everything happened really fast: first Arthur looked at your face and realized how young you were. Judging by your physical traits, you were in your start/mid twenties. The second detail he noticed was the pathetic content of your loot. Indeed, what you had stolen was literally a pack of menstrual tampons, a sandwich, a bag of chips and a bottle of water. Arthur clenched his jaws and his heart ached a little bit. Despite his violent outbursts he was far from being devoid of empathy. Somehow, it was quite the contrary.

“Listen lad, she’s me girlfriend. We had an argument and she’s a bit drunk. I’m sorry for any inconvenience. I’ll pay for what she took. “ Words left Arthur’s mouth before he could even fully understand what he just said.

The shop owner looked at him with surprise, his thick brows furrowed in confusion, “That crazy chick is your girl?” He asked, his eyes shifting from him to you several times in a row. When he finally looked at you longer, you awkwardly offered him your biggest toothy smile, “Erm yeah okay. It’s fifteen bucks, man. But next time I see her in my shop I’ll call the police. Got it?”

“Hm.” Arthur replied with a grunt and, with his free hand, he took fifteen pounds from his pocket and then handed them to the man. The latter took the bills and left without further ado, leaving the two of you all alone in the parking lot. Arthur, who was still firmly holding your arm, lost himself in his thoughts a few long seconds. That was your annoying voice that snapped him out of his bubble.

“Your girlfriend?” You exclaimed, outraged. With one quick movement you managed to break free from his grip. Wincing, you massaged your sore skin, “I’d rather kill myself”

“C’mon, I’ve saved your ass. The least ye could do is show some respect. Kids these days…” Arthur growled, his piercing blue eyes staring at you.

You replied by poking your tongue out — which properly astounded him. What a fucking brat, he thought, “you want me to thank you and repay you the favor? Spoiler at fucking eleven, I’ve got nothing to offer. And if you suggest me to suck your dick I’ll punch your bollocks off.”

Arthur opened his eyes wide, his sharp face adorned with an almost cartoon-like shock. God, you had a fierce spirit for such a small creature. Yet he had been in combat zones all over the world and met a wide sample group of people, “Bloody hell. Calm down, midget. Yer a kind of psychotic Smurfette or what? I wasn’t going to ask you these kind of things.”

“Oh? Erm. Really? Yeah, whatever,” Once the fury faded away from your pretty juvenile face, all was left was an indescribable adorable pout. Your eyes fled his.

“I’m serious. I wasn’t going to say that. No need to repay it. It’s only fifteen bucks.” A tint of amusement appeared in his blue irises as he observed your facial expression, similar to a kitten caught in the middle of doing something stupid. He slightly tilted his head to the side, observing your more in details. You were irresistibly cute for a little criminal, “the name’s Arthur Shelby by the way, eh.”

“Well, thank you Arthur Shelby.” You finally said a bit reluctantly before walking away. You had barely made a few steps when Arthur’s voice echoed behind you.

“Oi! Wait a minute!”

You did not. Quite the contrary, you ran away before the soldier’s steel blue eyes, who looked at your slim silhouette disappearing in the shadow of the night. All that remained from you was the soft sensation of your skin against his that was still tingling on his fingertips.

What you loved the most about spring was the fact you could sleep outside without freezing. Curled up on a bench lost in the midst of a parc, you tried to rest but Morpheus refused to bring you to his Kingdom. A little growl escaped from your lips as you wiggled, trying to find a comfortable position. But the wood was hard, and your backpack was an awful pillow substitute.

“Doesn’t seem comfy, eh.”

The gruff voice that just talked caused you to sit on the bench in one vivid movement, all your senses on alert just in case you needed to run away from a potential threat. Living in the streets was harsh enough for those who suffered from this life —but when you were a woman, the struggle became even worse. However, your muscles relaxed slightly when you saw Arthur’s face.

“You’re stalking me or what?”

“Fook off, kiddo,” He rolled his eyes, annoyed, then he made a quick head gesture toward his legs. When you looked down, you saw the gargantuan malinois sitting at his feet. Even though the brute did not move, his dark beady eyes were carefully observing you, “I always walk my dog here during the night.”

“That? A dog? Looks like a fur rocket. It barked at me.”

“Ye were trying to rob my wallet, eh.” He refreshed your mind.

“Whatever,” You sniffed and crossed your arms.

Silence fell above you. The only noise that could be heard was the light murmur of the leaves moving at the wind’s discretion. Arthur’s charming blue eyes looked at you a few long seconds as he thought about his next words. Contrary to Tommy, his little brother, he had never been skilled with them. He was too easily flustered and always ended up looking more stupid than anything else.

“I don’t even know your name. That’s what I wanted to ask you last week but you ran away.”

You looked at him, surprised.

“Rat.”

“Rat? Bloody hell, girl. Your parents really didn’t love you.”

“Hey! Fuck you!” You retorted, your eyes burning with a blazing annoyance, “ That’s what people call me! Not my real name.”

“Why do they call you rat? That’s… Fookin weird.” Arthur asked, taking a flat silver case out of the pocket of his cargo pants. Then, he slipped one cigarette between his teeth.

“Gimme one?” Your eyes shone at such a sight. You dreamt about a good smoke for days but cigarettes were incredibly hard to steal.

“The magic word?” He teased, the gravel in his voice coated with genuine amusement.

“Fuck off, Arthur.” You retorted.

“That’s a right answer, stinky rat.” As he spoke, the soldier pushed you with a nudge and slumped on the bench next to your frame. Hannibal looked at his master, then lied down between his parted feet. Arthur gave you a cigarette and lit it up when you brought it to your lips. A sigh of relief escaped from you juicy lips as you exhaled a cloud of smoke from your burning lungs. It did not take long for the pleasant effects of nicotine to alleviate your anxiety. Admittedly, it felt good. Glancing at you with utter curiosity, Arthur could not help but give a faint smile at how adorable you looked when fury left your face, “So, why do they call you rat?”

“Because of him,” Following a show-don’t-tell policy, you slowly moved your left shoulder. Arthur raised a brow and truly wondered what you were doing, twitching your shoulder like that. But his interrogations soon found their answer when a tiny pink snout appeared between two blue hair strands. Then followed the little and furry white head of an albino rat.

“What the — how fookin adorable that is,” Arthur’s face enlightened with awe. He expected you to roast him but all you did was blessing him with a genuine smile for you were delighted by his reaction. Usually, people would were quite disgusted when they saw your little friend, “His name’s Plague.”

“Ah!” Arthur’s loud and hoarse laugh rose up to the sky, “what a cool name. I like him.”

Plague wiggled his pinky snout, smelling the fragrances of both the stranger and his dog. When he was over with it, he just disappeared again behind one long and thick blue braid.

“Yeah, he’s a bit shy. “

“Hm.”

Another silence. But contrary to the awkward previous one, it was pleasant. Almost comforting. It felt like the rest of the world had disappeared in a void, and that all was left was you, him, your pets and this bench. A feeling of surprise dawned within as you caught yourself smiling.

“Oi, Rat. I know that sounds weird, and I don’t want ya to think I’m a kind of creep or something but —“ Arthur paused and exhaled loudly through his nostrils. He could not believe je was going to say that… As he did, your eyes observed the dog tags that were hanging from his neck, “If ye need a place to sleep tonight I’ve got a comfy sofa. The only con is that you’ll have to share it with Hannibal.”

The dog barked joyfully, as if it wanted to agree with his owner.

“Why would you do that?” You asked, palpable hesitation filling your words. Your reaction did not surprise Arthur, who was kind of expecting it. He was well aware his invitation sounded a bit strange.

“The night you ran from the shop and I grabbed you I was about to buy cocaine,”

The vivid memory of your first meeting assaulted your mind, “Wait. But I saw you at the anonymous drug addicts meeting.”

“Yeah, I know,” Arthur paused and looked down at his dog. But you did not need to see his blue eyes to understand the shame that had bloomed within him, “I was ready to relapse y’know. Sometimes me head screams so loud the only thing that soothe me is drugs. But me mind got busy taking care of your bullshit. As stupid as it sounds, you kept me from snorting cocaine and ruining all my efforts.”

“That’s not stupid,” You said in a rather friendly tone, “Well… I’ve got nowhere to go and I see threatening clouds in the sky so… Okay” You answered after mentally weighing the pros and cons, “But don’t say I’m your girlfriend ever again,” You teased with the brattiest grin ever, “Deal, old dog?”

“Deal, stinky rat.” He repeated.

You gave him the finger, but truth was he could not get mad at you, for your smirk was so beautiful it made him forget about the stars.

[yourtastefulcannibal]

Hannibal and Matthew - Safe

[original post]

@adm1rationofthem0ngoos3 -TW: vomit, over all panic attack yay, blood and injury- He flinched. Matthew scrambled to his knees, scooting as quickly as he could away from the window, brushing past Hannibal. The pain was dull, a few cuts. A throbbing in his chest. His legs were wobbly. The center of his ribcage pounded as his heart screamed, clawed for freedom. Not unlike Matthew had, during his first stay at an asylum. Matt stared at the window. He expected to see blue and red lights, flashing, glinting on the remnants of shattered glass. Hear more yells. Drag Hannibal into this mess. The cold evening wind breezed past. "I- can't-" Matthew choked out, hot and cold and dizzy. The sweat and bloodstains stuck his clothes to his skin. He tried again. "They-" but was interrupted by his stomach. He bent over to the side, acidic vomit spitting from his lips. His stomach curled, and more tears welled into green eyes. He couldn't even be embarrassed. Ashamed. There was too much everything. How was he supposed to explain himself? Bloodied, sweat-laden, anxiety filled. And now he puked on Hannibal's floor. Hands instinctively running through his curls, Matthew looked to Hannibal shakily. "P-Police," he had managed to whisper.

---------------------

Naturally, the sight was not a pleasing one, made much less pleasing by the addition to the mess on the floor; thankfully Hannibal was used to such substances, desensitized by his medical training alongside his hobbies as the Ripper. He was more concerned in the moment about Matthew, who seemed to be having something of an anxiety attack. Hannibal could connect the dots, for the most part, as to what may have happened.

"No doubt you could outrun the police, little hawk," Hannibal told him, glancing out the shattered window as well for good measure. He could neither see flashing lights nor hear wailing sirens; the night was still and quiet, broken glass and a broken man the only indicators that it had ever been anything but serene.

"Come inside," he said, firm. It was not an invitation nor a suggestion, rather something of an order, a command. The firm tone would surely make it easier for Matthew to listen, to permit Hannibal to tend to him as he clearly needed.

Hannibal led him to the living room adjacent to the foyer, sitting him down on the long, grey couch facing the unlit fireplace. He didn't pay any mind to the fact that Matthew was covered in blood and broken glass, at least not in the moment.

"I am going to get you something to drink and to clean you up. Stay here. Do you understand?"

[wonderlandsakura]

Saw this thought of this ↓

Hannigram "No Longer You" (from EPIC) AMV

Specifically set in Will's whole fisherman/betrayal arc btw (or like half, it's actually like the whole thing)

"I am the the prophet": The prophet is the stag or sth

"With the answers you seek": It reaches out it's arm to Will, it has the answers to his questions about who the Chesapeake Ripper is, how his brain works

"Time, I've unlocked it": Will's closed eyes, the pendulum swings

"I see past and future running free": Will's time going backwards thingy + hallucinogenic dreams or sth

"There is a world where I help you get home": Will standing in a yard it's uncertain whether it's Molly's or some dream one, there's dogs and a child smiling at him, face cut by sunlight (his son? Abigail? Who's to say)

"But that's not a world I know": Will wakes up covered in blood, Hannibal is there, smiling at him

"What?": Will angrily says this

"I see a song of past romance": Hannigram circling each other warily/before Abigail's death romance scenes

"I see the sacrifice of men": The deaths they saw when they worked together before Abigail's death

"I see portrayals of betrayal": Hannibal betraying Will

"And a brother's final stand": Will seeing Beverly's body

"I see you on the brink of death": the gut cut

"I see you draw your final breath": does he get choked out around the gut cut fight? Put that here then

"I see a man who gets to make it home alive": Will going home after false imprisonment? Or after a whatever with Hannibal while he's honey trapping him?

"But it's no longer you": One of those zoom ins after Hannibal killed Abigail, the exact moment when Will's like, I gotta get Revenge™

"This can't be": says Will, shaking his head

"We've suffered and sailed through the toughest of hells": Those gorgeous sad wet puppy dog eyes lol

"Now you tell us our effort's for nothing?": Angy Will

"I see your palace covered in red": the stag, his house covered in graffiti/the bloody mansion after the meeting with the cannibals/AFTER THE DEATH OF THE RED DRAGON

"Faces of men who had long believed you're dead": Jack, The dudes at the FBI, all the peeps that thought him crazy cause of Hannibal's accusations, Fredrick Chilton, Randall Teir, The guy who had the hots for him what's his name idk

"I see your wife with a man who is haunting": Hannibal smiling at Will, the two standing close together

"A man with a trail of bodies": zooms into will, his eyes downcast

"(who?)": bloodstained Will from the beginning asks

"I see portrayals of betrayal": Will betraying people for Hannibal

"I see a song of past romance": Romantic scenes during Will's whole honey trap

"I see the sacrifice of man": Will murdering people with Hannibal

"And a brother's final stand": Them standing against the Red Dragon, in a lull in the fighting/about to kill him

"I see you on the brink of death": them hugging on the cliff

"I see you draw your final breath": still the cliff, maybe the "it's beautiful" dialogue

"I see a man who gets to make it home alive": Will and Hannibal walking into/sitting in the church/ mishmash future they could have had

"But it's no longer you": them sitting side by side at the church? Idk a zoom in on cleaned up murderous trophy husband Will

[ariel-seagull-wings]

CARLY ANNE CROCKER: HEADCANONS

@thealmightyemprex

@moonshinenum @exoticb-utters @positivelybeastly @voxxgrimly

01º Carly was born and grew up in Hannibal, Missouri; 

02º Her father, Carter, was a firefighter, and the family of her late mother, Enid, owned a diner;

03º Became blind as an infant due to congenital glaucoma;

04º Was homeschooled until the age of eight years old;

05º After retiring from the Fire Department, her father became the new owner and manager of his wife’s family diner, working on management duties while friends and in-law relatives work in the kitchen and serving tables;

06º Her father wanted her to go to college in Saint Louis or Kansas City, but Carly always dreamed of going to college in New York, and her mother was supportive of her independence;

07º Came to live in New York at age seventeen when she applied for college;

08º Majored in Drama and English in Vassar College, and Law and Education in New York University;

09º Is a professional actress, storyteller and puppeteer;

10º Carly was twenty three years old when her mother died;

11º At the age of twenty seven, she received the surgery that cured her blindness;

12º Overalls, dungarees and jumpsuits are her favorite pieces of clothing;

13º Has German and Irish ancestry on her father’s side, and French-Canadian (Acadian) ancestry on her mother’s side;

14º Can be conversational in french;

15º Is a fan of the fairy tale radio anthology series Let’s Pretend;

16º At the time she was a patient in the hospital for the blind, Carly started to bond with Hank McCoy when she told him she was from Hannibal, and he referred to it as “the city of Mark Twain.” 

17º From that moment onward, they started a conversation about the Twain family, Joseph Médard Carrière, Rosemary Hyde Thomas, Marie Campbell, Washington Irving, L. Frank Baum, Tall Tales, Walt Disney and Americana;

18º Makes volunteer work as a theater educator, puppeteer and storyteller in several shelters and hospitals for blind people, as a way to give people the same support she received when she was blind;

19º Is bisexual;

20º Uses her knowledge of Law and Education to become an activist for Disabled, LGBTQIA+ and Mutant Rights;

21º Cheese based dishes are her comfort food;

22º Loves both cats and dogs;

23º Her Zodiac Signs is Libra; 

24º Her favorite Shakespeare plays are Measure for Measure, Troilus and Cressida, Love’s Labour's Lost, Much Ado About Nothing, Twelfth Night, Romeo and Juliet, Othello, Hamlet, Macbeth, King Lear, A Midsummer Night’s Dream and The Tempest;

25º Her favorite books are: Tales from the French Folk-Lore of Missouri, It’s Good to Tell You: French Folktales from Missouri, Tales from the Cloud Walking Country, The Last Unicorn, The Once and Future King, The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, The Father Christmas Letters, Bambi a Life in the Woods, Bambi’s Children, Frankenstein or The Modern Prometheus, Watership Down, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Les Miserables, The One Thousand and One Nights, The Canterbury Tales, The Decameron, The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus, The Sea Fairies, Sky Island, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, The Diaries of Adam and Eve, The Mysterious Stranger, Fairy Tales, New Tales, or Fairies in Fashion, The Bloody Chamber and Other Stories and Stories or Tales from Past Times, with Morals;

26º Her favorite colors are Green, Red, Pink, Violet and Blue;

27º Carly’s favorite flowers are myrtle, rosemary, rue, daffodils, violets, primroses, oxlips, carnations, gillyvors, flower-de-luce , hot lavender, mints, savory, marjoram and marigold;

28º Voice, scent, hands and pulses are the first things she notices as attractive in another person;

29º  Is allergic to pine and eucalyptus;

30º Her favorite movies are The Adventures of Prince Achmed, The Thief of Bagdad, Pinocchio, Bambi, Fantasia, The Fox and the Hound, Powell and Pressburger A Matter of Life and Death and The Tales of Hoffman, Black Orpheus, Jason and the Argonauts, The Golden Voyage of Sinbad, Donkeyskin, The Wicker Man, Babette’s Feast, Watership Down, The Last Unicorn, Legend, Willow, Ladyhawke and Wings of Desire.

[tomionefinds]

Hi, I once read a Tomione story in ao3 which was inspired by The Silence of the Lambs/Hannibal novel where Hermione is a Detective solving a serial killer case and Tom/Voldemort is the Pathologist/Serial killer, but Now I just cannot find the book and cannot remember the author’s name even though I book marked it. it is one of my favorite story. does anyone know about it ? if so can you guys say me the name of it or the author’s name so that i read it again and save it.

Hey Anon:

The ones below on A03 fit these parameters.

There was one on A03 called "An Interrogation" by Implicitt, based on a search of our Serial Killer tag, but it appears to be deleted.

-Haus

A Sin to Know by EchoPhoenix

M | WIP | 77k

Tom allowed a genuine smile past his bloody lips as he raised his slender fingers to his gaze. Miss Granger really ought to curb such a self destructive habit, digging her fingernails into her palm like a reprimanded child? How very unladylike. Tom pressed his fingers to his nose, smelling her sweet scent of copper and iron. He could hardly suppress a moan as he breathed her in deeply. He traced those two, bloody fingers across his lips, allowing his and hers to intermingle in an intimate act of which one party was not privy to. Tom couldn’t quite bring himself to care, his tongue darting out to taste her, despite himself overeager at the thought of her on his tongue. A groan escaped his throat, low and guttural as he dipped his fingers into his mouth, swirling her there like a fine wine. Hermione Granger tasted positively divine.

In the Cold Light of Morning by Cassiopeia13

E | WIP | 5k

And her fiery temper and sharp mind - oh, how he would love to curb them, to bend and mold her to his liking. It would take time, and he would have to choose the right approach, but the success would most surely taste sweet, like thick honey on his tongue. She had the potential to be his ultimate prize. And for that reason alone, he had to practice. After all, he didn't want to spoil the meat. - - - Her mother always said her empathy was a blessing from God. If there ever was one, she thought, he must have been a sadistic being, bestowing such a curse on a child. Now, as an adult, Hermione had the chance to put her gift to a good use. But still, the curse follows her, this time in a form of a serial killer, who decided to take an interest in his nemesis.

To both Defy and Define Darkness by ShadowedCries

E | WIP | 62k

“That hurt,” The feel of his voice against her ear sent an unexpected shiver down her spine. Hot lace that trickled up her nerves, more inviting than her heart had ever hoped for. Tom laced his fingers through the hair at the base of her neck, then pulled until her neck arched up towards him. “It’s not nice to shoot the man who just saved your life, Hermione.” “It’s not nice to kill people, Tom.” She snarled in return.

And here's an older one from FFN

Twist and Collide by Brenda Bites

M | WIP | 23k

Hermione Granger was the one who helped Harry Potter put Tom Riddle behind bars, Tom knew that. He wasn't fond of his new 'home' but he was quickly besotted with Hermione. Muggle AU. Inspired by Hannibal/Silence of the Lambs.

[eldrichfuck666]

Get to know the blogger - I was tagged by @bnt0 (thank you so much for tagging me! 💕 I really love to talk on my blog so hehe here we go)

Show your wallpaper - I still haven't change it so here it is again ^^ And there is also the last song I've listened to! (I listen to it for an hour already someone help me)

Last song you've listened to - it's Vertebrae by Vertebrae by Bjork because my brain won't let me listen to something else..

Currently reading - I'm rereading The Red Dragon from Hannibal Series by Thomas Harris, yes, again

Last movie - Raw (2016)!

Last show - Interview with The Vampire (2022) and I'm so in love honestly

Craving - matcha tea and bethmännchen 🤤🤤

What are you wearing rn ;) - OKAY I'M NAKED so?? but i'm wearing rainbow socks sksksks so not completely!

How tall are you - I don't know? Something like 170-74 cm

Tattoos - I don't have any but I want to get one someday but I guess I won't bc I'm too scared of pain and getting infections

Glasses/contacts - only for beauty ;ъ I have vintage glasses with cute chains and I wear it often but I have perfect vision so I've changed the lenses in them to wear comfortably :] It also kinda looks like Ansel's glasses!

Last thing you ate - hot cheetos and borschtsch with sour cream!

Favorite color - I don't know (2) but any vibrant color will do! But my special color is paris green! I love the history of this color especially and also, it's just gorgeous

Current obsession - Antinous.... I'm ready to start his cult here in Germany to be honest + Sharp Objects! (although I watched It a year ago lmao)

Any pets - Sadly, none! But my parents have a dog and I love her sm!

Favorite fictional character - Will Graham from Hannibal. I'm sorry XD

Last place you traveled - Does Frankfurt count??

I'm tagging anyone who wants to do this and some of my mutuals! (Hope you don't mind, but if you do - as always, I'm sorry :[ And ofc, you're free to ignore!) @bloody-soda @wildmelon @2013trait @nigmos @birdietrait @isthisdesire98 @damseljamsel (im tagging a bit more ppl later bc I want to 💗 love you, my mutuals! :'> )

[erosfics]

An Aria Interrupted

Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter

6k words

M rating

Jack Crawford, bloody, beaten, and brave, has crawled his way out of the pantry on his belly, blood still pouring from his gouged throat. His previously discarded gun has found its way into his hand and is raised toward Hannibal, ready to put a bullet through his head, to end the Chesapeake Ripper once and for all. Oh, but Will Graham is much faster. Before he can do anything to stop it, Will has stepped to the side, shielding Hannibal’s body with his own just as the disoriented agent takes his shot. The pop echoes throughout the small space, shaking the walls and the Earth beneath their feet, pulling a terrified scream out of young Abigail with its power. A Mizumono Fix-It where Will takes a bullet, Hannibal changes his mind, forgiveness is bestowed, and our Murder Family gets a happy ending in Florence. Oh, and Abigail gets a girlfriend. Sogliato still thinks he's hot shit, though, that hasn't changed.

[svnnyd4ys]

(some of the) eah royals as incorrect quotes!

Blondie: Apple noticed only today that they can label their email inboxes, but they took apart their entire bloody laptop two weeks ago. Lizzie: This reminds me of the Apple who couldn’t turn on the coffee maker, but remembers about 500 digits of pi. Blondie: I’ll be delighted to inform you that this is the very same Apple.

!!!

Duchess: The best way to gain someone's undying loyalty is by saving them from a perilous situation. Ashlynn: So you're just gonna wait until Briar is in danger and save them? Duchess: Of course not, I'm going to create a situation that puts them in danger and then save them. Ashlynn: ... Ashlynn: You're insane.

!!!

Blondie: *fills up bottle and drinks from that* Ashlynn: *brought 4 bottles of water so this wouldn’t happen* Apple: *drinks straight from the tap* Duchess: *dehydrates* Lizzie: *drinks from the puddle of water on the floor* Briar: *licks the tap, doesn’t even need a drink*

!!!

Duchess: Fine! Judge all you want but... Duchess, points at Ashlynn: Married a lesbian. Duchess, points at Lizzie: Left a man at the altar. Duchess, points at Blondie: Fell in love with a gay ice dancer. Duchess, points at Apple: Threw a girl’s wooden leg in a fire. Duchess, points at Briar: Lives in a box!

!!!

Apple: From now on we will be using code names. Apple: You can address me as Eagle One. Apple: Blondie is “been there done that”. Apple: Briar is “currently doing that”. Apple: Ashlynn is “it happened once in a dream”. Apple: Lizzie is “if I had to pick a wonderlandian". Apple: And Duchess is.. Apple: Eagle Two Duchess: Oh thank god.

!!!

*Briar comes home absolutely drunk, undresses, and stands in Blondie’s bedroom.* Blondie: Babe, are you.. coming to bed? Briar: No thank you, I’m sure you’re lovely but I have a girlfriend. Briar: *Lies on the ground and falls asleep* Blondie: ...

!!!

Briar: Well, aren’t you all a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts! Oh, let me guess: you’re out to save the world! Duchess: Well, actually, that sounds like a pretty fair assessment. Ashlynn: More or less, I guess... Apple: That sounds awesome! Let’s do that! Lizzie: I’m new here, but I am open to the concept. Blondie: I thought that’s what we were doing, guys, come on!

!!!

Duchess, reading the newspaper: Huh. Did you know Nickelodeon opened a hotel? Briar: Yeah, I went there once. There was a dead squirrel in the pool and I made some of Ashlynn cry by telling them it was the real Sandy.

!!!

Apple: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly. Duchess, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

!!!

Blondie: What makes you think it's okay to watch Hannibal given its subject matter? Ashlynn: Sometimes, I watch television shows for entertainment purposes. Briar: Because I condone murder and cannibalism.

!!!

*The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one* Apple: I will not let you down. Duchess: Sounds fun. Ashlynn: K. Blondie: No, I'm fucking not. Lizzie: Do I have to be? Briar: Please god, I am so tired.

!!!

Ashlynn: I think I just figured something out. I got to go. Briar: Aren't you forgetting something? Ashlynn: Uuh...*hesitantly kisses Briar's forehead before running out.* Briar: No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

!!!

Briar: *sighs* Blondie: You bored? Briar: Yeah. Blondie: Wanna start drama for no reason? Briar: I thought you’d never ask.

!!!

Lizzie: Punch me in the face. Duchess: ...Punch you? Lizzie: Yes, punch me, didn’t you hear me? Duchess: I always hear ‘punch me in the face’ while you’re speaking but it’s usually just subtext.

!!!

Apple: Be right back, gonna hit the toilet for a quick power sob.

!!!

Briar: I'm hot, I’m tall, I'm gay, and I'm on my theatre kid arc.

!!!

Ashlynn, writing in their diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

!!!

Duchess: If we were in prison you guys would be like my bitches.

!!!

Lizzie: Don’t weep for the stupid. You’ll be crying all day.

!!!

Blondie: I was born for politics! I have great hair and I love lying! !!!