#how can i live without them
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Favorite scene: 3x03 - Only Murders in the Building - Loretta's POV (at the piano) "We all know that you are more than just loud. What I love about...Oliver Putnam's shows is that underneath all the bombast and the chaos and the breeding crab men, it's just, there's a vulnerability. That's what makes...Oliver Putnman...special." - Loretta Durkin
#meryl streep#martin short#oliver putnam#loretta durkin#oliretta#oliver x loretta#only murders in the building#only murders season 3#omitb#spoilers#loretta x oliver#omitb s3#looks#favorite scene#my post#personal#I LOVE THEM SO MUCH#HOW CAN I LIVE WITHOUT THEM#ship dynamics#their chemistry is insane
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The endless cycle of 91W.
INSANE
"I remember the view
Streetlights in the dark blue
The moment I knew
I'd no choice but to love you"
Abstract (Psychopomp) - Hozier
Reference
(PS: I'm going insane over those two again. Don't mind me)
#91W#ninety one whiskey#91 whiskey#komodobits#91w fanart#castiel#dean winchester#destiel#spn#supernatural#deancas#how can I live without them#surprise I can't#go read this#91w brainrot is real#the brainworms are living here rent free#brain
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horrible truth bomb dropped on my head 20 min ago
#I DIDNT KNOW I DIDNT KNOWWWWW#when i say damn thats crazy its bc i DO think its crazy i think a lot of things are crazy. like how birds have cloacas#or the way ppl draw a five pointed star in different ways and everyone assumes their way of doing it is how everyone does it#my brother is not letting me live this down btw he literally shouted at me like HOW DID YOU LIVE THIS LONG AND NOT PICK UP ON THAT#IDK!!! IDK I THOUGHT SOMETIMES IT COULD BE USED TO EXPRESS GENUINE SHOCK??????#he says its my delivery that makes it sound insincere bc i say it in a monotonous voice which when i think abt it YEAH....#THAT DOES MAKE IT LOOK KINDA BAD IN HINDSIGHT.....#and then i told him i keep a list of phrases that tickle my brain so i can remember to use them in conversation and apparently#most ppl dont do that bc he was like ???? stop doing that??? just let the conversation flow naturally it sounds fake>????#idk man i feel like if i did that and blurted out 'i forgot people find stuff like underwear arousing for some reason' instead of#smth like 'i wonder what kind of ppl find this kind of stuff the bees knees' like i normally do. it would. not go so well.#ALSO THE FLOW CHARTS ARENT NORMAL? i make flow charts before i call the bank or smth so i know what to say#its not just to blend in its also so i dont waste ppls time going uhhhhh as i think of how i put smth into words#its called stalling for time and i dont care if i have to say smth like thats just how the cookie crumbles if it gives me#5 more seconds to process whatever the fuck someone said without letting them think im not paying attention#doodles#diary#sona#puppysona#comics
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As per usual, it’s DP crossover with (probably) DC, although you could probably adjust it for other fandoms
ANYWAYS
A little kid and his mother are trick or treating in another city, perhaps at some kind of event rather than knocking on doors, and the kid is dressed as Phantom. It’s very adorable, with his little ghost-shaped bucket and clearly homemade and already stained costume—listen, white only works if you can just fly over street grime or phase it out of your clothes—and his slightly I’ll fitting wig. The kid is SO happy to be out and about dressed as his favorite, and maybe even showed it off to Phantom back in Amity Park before his family left.
The hero, insert whoever you wish here, is probably in civvies and just enjoying the event. The kid, meanwhile, is so glad when people ask who he is so he can explain, and so- the hero gets to hear ALL ABOUT the local town hero who is probably pretty small time despite the kid’s clearly exaggerated stories. The hero certainly never heard of him, but the kid’s mom confirms that Phantom really was the town hero, despite some mixed reviews of the poor guy.
“Did you manage to show him your costume?” the hero asks.
“Yeah! We went down to the cemetery to leave flowers and I got to show him my costume.”
Wait. Cemetery? Maybe it was part of theme, because Phantom had to be named that for a reason, but… it sounded like…
The kid ignores the suddenly VERY still hero and instead turns to his mom. “Momma, do you think we should bring him candy? He doesn’t get to trick or treat like we do, and I can work super hard to get him a bunch!”
The kid’s mom just smiles. “We could, but maybe we should bring him something homemade. I bet he’d like something more filling, teen boys like him have a hollow leg.”
The kid wrinkles his nose. “Like Vernie with the pizza bagels?”
“Like your cousin, yes. We can make some cinnamon rolls and take them to his memorial, maybe bring some of the apples from your grandpa’s garden…”
The hero is pretty much forgotten as the two-part family wanders off, not quite intentionally forgetting the hero is there so much as the hero somewhat accidentally ended the conversation when they just froze and didn’t ask anything further.
Not that the hero didn’t want to. But they’d learn something very serious.
One—there was a small town hero they’d never heard of. Two—that hero was apparently a teen. Third—most pressingly, the teen hero was both beloved enough to have kids dressing up as him and dead enough to have a grave.
This… might require some phone calls.
#dpxdc#danny phantom crossover#meanwhile Danny. sitting on a giant marble slab that has the most ridiculous gag gifts a ghost could ever ask for#he’s just like Oh Sweet Cinnamon Rolls!#he would try to convince people to bring him nasty burger but while val has MOSTLY gotten over her vindictive anger at Phantom DOES decide#that she’s gonna be petty and add cilantro to everything#because Danny has the cilantro soap gene#jokes on her he’ll still eat it#Danny likes his little memorial in the grave. it helps settle him sometimes. also he’s gotten to know the security guards for the cemetery#they’re fun. a bit morbid. they LIKE his jokes so you can stuff it JAZZ#MEANWHILE the hero. Whomstever they are but like 90% of you are thinking either batfam or Justice league#are having just. a TOUCH of a crisis#now they gotta figure out where the kid and his mom are from without either of them figuring out#dealer’s choice on what the GIW and why Amity Park isn’t on the radar#I’ll add my two cents bc when don’t I but I’m by and large not like… dictating this? anyways#I like making the GIW just a BIT more incompetent or just having some massive flaws as an organizational group#so they keep forgetting to tell people to not LEAVE and to keep quiet#average amity Parker if the GIW tried this anyways: aw that’s cute. anyways-#and if it’s dc I guess you need to figure out how the jl never found out. so#i mean there’s a LOT of heroes and cities in dc#and amity park is just lost to the noise or. bc Fenton bad luck#every time Danny tried to call. the jl had some insane disaster and or their systems were down#he eventually figured he might actually be cursed- jury’s still out on that -and he’s saving lives by just handling it himself#he can handle rhe metaphorical mega thunderstorms if it means he doesn’t accidentally summon a fucking tsunami to hit the planet ya know?#the kid and the mom have no idea that what they said was Odd#they are just so used to it. amity park already was using death puns and had an. interesting history and relation with death#even BEFORE there was a dead kid flying around in his white gogo boots
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Yaoimation


#animation#animation guild#disney#cartoon network#cartoons#union yaoi#in all seriousness please watch the shorts about what to do for the Union#anti ai#Alex Hirsch and Adam Conover have been so loud about this as well#if you live in California I sincerely recommend going to the rallies when they’re there#it’s how we stick together as artists and we as fans would not be there without them#stand with animation#I made this in like ten minutes can you tell#stay tooned
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So.... why'd Peri get assigned Dev as his first godchild?
Jorgen’s usually not the one in charge of assigning godchildren. There’s an entire department that weighs and classifies potentail Godkids to the right Fairy. Although it’s on strike at the moment.
So Jorgen has to do it by hand, until the union negotiations are resolved. Turns out trying to use paperclips is very hard. Itty bitty paperclips. Big muscular biceps. Not a good combo.
Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]
Peri's Assignment: [Previous] > [Next]
#fairly oddparents#fop#fop a new wish#fop timmy turner#fop timmy#timmy turner#fop jorgen vonstrangle#fop jorgen#jorgen vonstrangle#asks#itty bitties fop au#you'd think they'd have automated everything what with technology advancing to how it is today#but nah.#institutions are very slow to update or switch onto new tech or new efficient system. so everything's still on paper at the moment#(<- upset that most of the court systems in the u.s still rely on paper trails and refuses to digitize important documents)#anyways the department's in negotiations which means jorgen has to pick up the work to ensure no other fairy crosses the picket line#which means handling itty bitty paper clips for itty bitty papers#the amount of paper clips that have lost their lives because he accidentally snapped or bent them.... o7#ALSO.#I THINK IMMA MAKE A NEW POST FOR THIS BUT#I THINK IM GOING TO ADD A NEW LINE OF LINKS FOR THE PLOT-RELATED POSTS#THAT WAY YOU CAN JUMP BACK TO THE IMMEDIATE PREVIOUS PLOT LINK#WITHOUT NEEDING TO JUMP THROUGH A THOUSAND OTHER UPDATES THATS BEEN PUT BETWEEN THEM#when i go back to the chimmy moving plot and the timhazdev argument plot i'll also do the same thing
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it's always i love you and never "leave." "huh?" "i'll tell everyone that you died in the woods. so you can go back to your brother and get to open a bar just like you've always dreamed of." "why?" "i don't know. maybe because you'd sacrifice a hand for me. or maybe because i've crossed your line. or because i... i like it when you're happy. just leave. go now before i change my mind. just go! that's an order!"
#something about kinn sending porsche away so that he can get to live his life away from him and his family with his brother#something about porsche running straight back to kinn at the possibility of him being in danger when he hears those gunshots#kinn's act of love being sending porsche away. porsche's act of love being running right back for him.#GOD when porsche turns back and kisses him because he can't NOT. he can't leave without one more. without that final taste.#if he's losing kinn he wants the last piece he has of him to be the taste of him in his mouth and the feel of being wrapped up in his arms#and its always never lost on me that kinn gives porsche the pocket knife. aka their only survival tool#he had no idea that they were about to be rescued he gave it to porsche and sent him away with it to give him the best chance of surviving#and like. that's love??? especially when korn talks about the knife he gave to their mom in the next ep and how she turned it rusty blahbla#kinn is just. constantly giving porsche his few tools for survival. the knife. his lucky gun. his heart.......#you dont understand i need to die#like im sorry but cinema is dead and it died when i didnt get them back for season 2 because this scene alone is everything to me#episode 6 of kinnporsche you should be hung in museums they should teach a class on you you will never die#kinnporsche#kinn x porsche
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a lot of thoughts are being thunk
#havent been the same ever since i saw this clip a few hours ago#like its just. so simple but oh my gOD he makes me feel so many things#i dont wanna go all full obsessive on here bcs its embarrassing but#are yall even seeing his curlsssss like how has the rest of the world not just stopped to admire his hair????#how can people just go on with their lives without freaking out#and his pretty pretty pretty eyes#can never get enough of them#and just. everything about him is perfect?? like the nose and cheeks and#said i wasnt gonna get obsessive and then it still happened 🙃 i apologize#anyways. cutie pie#i reeeeaaallllyyyy need to write more college!will but i have no ideas 💔#nhl#hockey#will smith#william smith#san jose sharks#will smith hockey#sharks
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…It's nice. You're so noisy. […] Actually, it'd be better if we died together. That way, neither of us would have to suffer the pain of losing the other, right? Shut up.
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 13
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#uservid#userspicy#userrain#userjjessi#pdribs#*cajedit#*gif#AI DI'S FACE IN THE LAST GIFFFFFF IIIIIIIIII. LOOOOVE. HIIIMMMMM.#this might be the most romantic thing ive ever seen full stop#if you dont want to die with me so neither of us have to live without each other then why would i want you.#(but also ai di would have been okay with that. again. hes like. hes taking what he can get.#he thinks chen yi isnt as All In as he is....and this is the scene he realizes chen yi is just as insane about him and he is SOOOOO. happy!#i also love the face chen yi makes as he's getting in the car while ai di is calling at him to promise. he ROLLS HIS EYES.#he looks at ai di like. SURE jan. SURE ill let you die before me. SUUUURE i wont go insane if you die.#i just love how now theyre completely on the same page with each other. they know how much each loves the other#and both of them are so so happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AGH.#'youre so noisy.' 'shut up.' chen yi just wants to kiss (hes laughing & fond & in love & not as good with words & its really. really cute.)#and the way he leans back and clears his throat like he cant believe what he just said but he would never take it back...baby...
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Don't mind me, just slacking on a big Billford comic by making other far more ridiculous Billford comics and also some AU art (please excuse my slapdash human!Bill thank you please, also before anyone asks the art style is messy and all over the place because idgaf LOL)
This started out as an excuse to design a Bill Cipher-inspired "wedding" dress, but then spiraled wildly out of control. Various rambles and a bunch more human!Bill arts under the cut, including another silly little comic at the end! (Feel free to skip the rambles, I won't be offended. I know I'm bad at shutting up. XD)
I may or may not write some comedy stuff for this AU, which I'm calling 'For Better Or Worse (But Mostly Worse)'. While Ford DOES remember getting sloshed enough for one thing to lead to making out with another after karaoke, neither he nor Bill remember this wedding, At All. The Love God did nothing to dissuade them from going hog wild on their marriage spending, either, so it got...uh. Exorbitantly Expensive. As in, the grand total could probably buy the entire fucking MOON sort of expensive. (It's fine, don't worry, Bill's good enough at crime to be able to afford it.) Also, because the logic of this AU is mostly dictated by Rule of Funny, the Love God's powers are close to unlimited when it comes to matters of romance, but ONLY when it comes to matters of romance. (Like weddings!)
Want an empty human vessel to smash the soul of a triangle into for date nights or when it's convenient, or perhaps even when it's NOT convenient? Easy peasy! Want the marriage to be recognized in every corner of the multiverse from now until the end of time, thus making any potential future divorce nigh-on impossible? Can do! Want to buy an entire beach for the ceremony and honeymoon and in general, and totally not at all because it would be Super Hilarious to prevent any specific movies from being made on that very same beach in the future? Fine, whatever, it's not his finances he's ruining!
Does the Love God also provide special rings that just so happen to turn incorporeal as long as the "happy couple" doesn't remember that they barged into his dreams to bully him into presiding over their marriage? ...No comment!
He spends the next thirty years trying and failing to get in touch with either of them for payment. This is why you should always demand half the money up front, my guy!
Also it's absolutely a traditional Jewish wedding, because I like the idea of Bill demanding all the keepsakes from the marriage that he paid for, and being completely confused when one of the things he's handed is a fancy container full of broken glass. He gets it later, but in the moment, he thinks the Love God is just fucking with him some more.
Ramble over! Here's the full dress that caused the comic to happen, along with what Ford wound up wearing at the wedding (and begrudgingly agreeing to put on again later for Reasons), aaaaand also a close-up of Bill's ring:
I may have forgotten to draw Bill's hair floofier when drawing the back of the dress, lmao
Since double ring ceremonies have been leaking over into Jewish wedding customs for a while now, Ford also has a ring, but his is the much more traditional plain gold band. There's definitely a message engraved on the inside - embarrassing, cringe, or incriminating somehow - but I haven't decided what it is yet, so use your imagination for now. XD Bill, on the other hand, saw the phrase 'traditional plain gold band' and said "No Thank You" before proceeding to embellish his ring to his liking. And because he's a secret sap who adores Ford's extra fingers, the triangle points add up to twelve, as do the engraved stars. Yes, they're stars, not dots, I just got lazy. There's also six lashes on the eye gem, and probably an eye engraving on the inside with another six lashes. (Bill's got it BAD, okay? We all know this.)
Here are the initial scribbles of Bill's custom vessel in more casual attire, please ignore the wonky anatomy and the fact that I flat out refuse to ever draw him with a proper top hat:
He does actually need a cane in this vessel; since Bill tends to possess men and especially Ford more often than not, he's used to having a higher center of gravity when in a human body, so his ability to balance is pretty garbage. (He may or may not topple over with concerning regularity.) As for his empty eye socket, his bangs don't do much to hide it since he's so high-energy (dude is constantly on the move), and he also refuses to wear a patch over it, because 1.) why bother, and 2.) it's more fun to freak people out.
To better align with Ford's attraction towards the strange, the vessel was designed with super minor shapeshifting ability - Bill can look like a perfectly normal human, but he can also make the teeth and fingers sharper whenever he likes (which is mostly just when he's angry or being more of a menace than usual), as well as slit down the pupils or outright ditch the irises altogether. He can also have whatever he wants in the downstairs department, just because I'm an indecisive bitch on that front, lmao. Maybe he can have boobs if he wants them, too, but I ain't drawin' tits on no triangle, nuh-uh, no sir. His powers are otherwise limited down to what humans can do, because for some reason, the Love God doesn't trust Bill to not snap into Immediate Apocalypse Mode if he's given a physical form that's actually all his and no one else's.
Due to the body being all his and no one else's, it's also not really a standard possession so much as it is just...Bill being temporarily human. He's a lot more aware of and in tune with his human body's senses than he ever was with his "puppets", which makes things like pain a lot more intense. (He is mostly fine with this, because he's a fukken masochist.)
A bit more fashion stuff, including beach and party attire~
The beach outfit was mostly me trying and failing to nail down his body shape, which is still not bottom-heavy enough. I then decided to slap a bikini on it, before making it supremely unsexy with a pair of fugly shorts, because Bill's fashion choices are not allowed to be conventionally attractive. Meanwhile, the party outfit was mostly me looking at the casual attire I designed, asking 'how would Bill make this Worse', and then drawing the result. The mismatched thigh-highs are killing me inside! :D
No, his vessel can't actually summon fire, I just drew it for funzies before I decided on said vessel's limitations. Yes, the gold brick tattoos are absolutely a reference to the fic 'Knowing Me, Knowing You' - I simply could not resist.
I also HAD to draw Bill in one of his canonical(?) shirts, just made tank-top'd:
He is absolutely about to over-correct and fall backwards after this. USE YOUR CANE, GOOFBALL!!! (I meant to draw Bill closer to this degree of bottom-heavy in the other images, but. Alas. I am bad at anatomy, LOL)
And, last but not least before More Comic Time, I attempted to draw him closer to Gravity Falls style:
Jury's out on whether or not I succeeded, but - hey. I tried. Now have some Handyman Bill AU, but with my goofy human design, instead:
Hey, it's a 'mystery snack', and the guy wanted A BITE to eat - the joke was right there, guys!!! (Based on this post, because it just screamed BILL CIPHER to me.)
whoops i forgor bills ring and cracks ahaha too late now
I WILL SHUT UP AND STOP RAMBLING NOW K THX BYYYYYE
#fanart#gravity falls#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#stanley pines#the love god#human bill cipher#human bill design#fashion design#comics#poor stan gets to find out his twin boinked a triangle when the love god shows up at the mystery shack demanding payment LMAO#cue internal panic for stan as dipper and mabel lose their collective shit over the fact that they now have a surprise new grunkle bill#the love god helps himself get paid by teaching the kids how to trap bill in his human vessel for the foreseeable future#bill is bewildered and pissed but also very much 'holy shit i have a FAMILY again??? neat but terrifying??????? what the F*CK do i do now'#he then proceeds to attempt to lovebomb his new family into being okay with the impending apocalypse#all while the three of them attempt to lovebomb HIM into giving up his plans for said impending apocalypse#then two days later ford shows up and is just like. what the ACTUAL F*CK IS HAPPENING???#cue stan immediately screaming 'I HAD TO PRETEND TO BE THAT THING'S HUSBAND FOR TWO DAYS STRAIGHT SO F*CK YOU AND YOUR BAD TASTE FOR THAT!'#stan spends those two days straight dropping very sour hints that he's being punished for someone else's terrible mistakes#bill finds this absolutely hilarious and thus plays along - but not without dropping his own hints that ford is the FAR superior twin#dipper and mabel have ZERO idea of what is actually going on because the love god did NOTHING to clarify the situation#dipper is convinced that stan and bill are speaking in some kind of bizarre code that only adults can understand#mabel is convinced that the code is flirting - which means stan and bill are going to live happily ever after and have tons of kids + pets#NEITHER of them are prepared for ford showing up. not that they were in canon. but still. now it's even MORE crazy#'what do you mean we get TWO NEW GRUNKLES???' 'two grunkles in two days - gotta be some kinda record'#ford then has to decide if he wants to remain justifiably furious at bill or join the other pines in lovebombing him into submission#he then gets to learn that lovebombing bill works surprisingly well because that triangle is just The Biggest Attention Wh*re#the entire AU would just be ridiculous antics with a splash of billford#these tags are an abomination lmao
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@hancfubuki // Pirate!Caleb x Sea God!Rafayel, served
"At this rate, the children might be targeted next."
Deep sighs echo through the giant room, walls with a shiny blue sheen glowing under the light of the fake sun, shining brightly in contrast to the gloomy expressions on the faces of everyone present. "We've warned them not to go past the barrier, and most are smart enough not to disobey when they've seen what happened to our people." They shake their heads, some with arms crossed and their brows the arched with concern and fury, thinking back on the brave souls who had made it home, away from the insistent attacks from those... Pirates-- that's what those humans had called themselves.
"Konche still hasn't returned. He might be-..."
One figure turns, expression blank as he silently tries to walk out of the hall. But he's stopped with a heavy 'wait right there', and he gives a defeated roll of his shoulders, turning back to the elders of his kin.
"You don't know what humans will do if we attack them," the old man starts grimly. They are weaker by nature but stronger in numbers, they have always spoken this truth and he... lifts his head, eyes cold amethyst and pink, stopping any more words from the elder. He knew better than anyone here what they could do to them, the Lemurians. Because they knew this, knew of his failure, the pity in some and the understanding in others, he is able to walk out without another word. It is the rule of the Deep Sea. It is a survival of the fittest. If one doesn't attack first, they will become prey to bigger fish.
Luckily for them, in their seas, they had the advantage.
"Rafayel!"
A bluenette runs towards him from the direction of Whalefall city, stopping before him. Algie, her beautiful braid coming loose, looks up at him with the same look of hope and determination, fiery rage in her eyes just as bright as she steps up towards him. "Are you going up there? I'll come with you, help you distract them if you need! Those greedy humans, they deserve to be capsized and eaten by the sharks for taking my little brother!" Rafayel lets out a silent huff through his nose, much preferring this over the dull atmosphere within the hall. "No, I'll make a better distraction," he starts with a wave of his hand, watching as the woman looks ready to fight him in protest. "I need you to take Konche back safely while I deal with them." Since they don't know what state he is in.
With an understanding nod, they swim out towards the edge of the barrier where the usual sea creatures standing guard let them pass without a knock back behind the gates, rushing up to the top. Algie looks around, on high alert and scrunching her nose in distaste as thunder crashes on the surface of the raging sea. A perfect setting, and he signs, directing Algie to the side of the ship while he floats up, emerging through the waves and standing still on the surface as the waves by his feet go still under his power. The ship is already unstable, swaying from side to side as tall waves crash on its side, water filling the deck as it slowly sinks, and sinks. The sea knows, there is fury burning under his skin.
"There's something out there!"
Finally, he's seen. Tilting his head up with a languid toss to the side, he raises his hand and pulls a flute out from his sash. The sharp melody pierces through the storm, his eyes giving the shortest of glances towards Algie who climbs the side of the ship and onto deck, covered in a thick cloak as she blends in, hidden from the pirates running to stare at his show as she finds her brother. It is easy, to play a daring tune that weaves itself through the air, into the water which heeds his calls.
One by one, tendrils of water crash into men.
As soon as they are within the sea, no level of swimming prowess could save them from the water entering their lungs, pressure pulling them downwards as if the water was sentient and was punishing those who wronged its children. If only that were the truth.
The water calms as the sound of his flute ceases, the loud splash of water catching his attention and he sees the vibrant glow of scales as Konche is plunged into the sea with Algie's arms wrapped tightly around him. The ship now sways, eerily quiet in the night as pelts of rain continue to drip. Rafayel takes a languid stroll towards the ship, hand reaching up to touch the engravings on the side, another step as he stares at the anchor the size of a whale's child. Then he hears it, a spurting sound followed by coughs. A survivor, one that he looks down at and blinks slowly. Hmm... it wouldn't hurt to bring someone in for questioning.
It doesn't matter if he dies, or lives. If left here to fend for himself, he would easily be eaten up by the waves in seconds before the fish even got to him. But out of curiosity and the lingering anger running through his veins, he crouches down, feet balanced on the surface of the water as he reaches out, tilting the man's face up by the chin like one would to a pet. He was a bit ugly, but not as much as the others he saw knocked off the ship.
"Do you want to live?"
No matter his answer, Rafayel simply shrugs and picks him up by the arm, tossing him into the Deep Sea.
#{v. 愛の為に生き��}#Since I wanted to set up the scene#it got quiiiiiiiite long. But who cares right I always cough up multiparas like I cannot breathe without them AHGSIOAHIOSD#I was listening to the song in the link up there as I wrote bc I can I will I think it's very pirate sea god theme HAHAHA also Caleb#is our miracle survival baby Rafayel said nah death to them all. Except this ugly one bc fate let him live let's see what happens#Okay so listen here. There is a timeline when Lemurians are being caught to be bonded to people so they can take their scales#their blood(eternal life) and tears (which people believe become pearls) so I was thinking the pirates caught a Lemurian for those#Once bonded Lemurians cannot disobey the one they are bonded to as well. That's why they are cautious about bonding with humans#you feel free how Caleb fit into this if he knows and helped or he didn't and is finding out now through their consequences
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In order to fully understand why it was so hard for Mike to express how deeply he loves El, and why his speech at the end of season 4 was one of the biggest, most important moments for his entire character, we need to look at not just who Mike is as a person, but also everything that has happened since he met her.
Every single time he opens up his heart to her, something horrible happens to her or she's taken away from him almost immediately afterwards.
1x08; he's an awkward little ball of feelings that are way too big for a boy so young. He makes a nervous attempt at confessing and asking her out on a date; when he can't find words that she'll understand, swoops in for a kiss instead. She lights up immediately and smiles. It's a brief moment of hope and pure happiness. Maybe they can have some semblance of a normal life and be normal kids after this is all over.

Minutes later, all hell breaks loose-- they're almost shot, El pushes herself too far until she can barely move, she's almost taken away by the Bad Men, the Demogorgon appears, and she uses the very last of her strength to sacrifice herself to save him and their friends.
He has to watch helplessly as she disappears.
He spends a year caught between believing she's dead and hoping she's still out there somewhere (but if she is alive then why won't she talk to him anymore...?). Kept silent under threat by the lab, he can't confide in anyone or even acknowledge her existence, not with anyone except those involved... but everyone else is keen on moving on and pretending it never happened. He can find some solidarity in Will, at least, who is in a similar kind of emotional turmoil... but it's not the same and it's not enough.
2x9; he is finally reunited with El, and she runs into his arms like she missed him too. She tells him that all those nights he called out to her, she heard him; she was there reciprocating his feelings the whole time.
In a burst of emotions that he's been forced to suppress for an entire year, he lashes out at the reason they've been kept apart (Hopper), screaming and sobbing. It's a massive catharsis for him, and for once an adult is understanding enough to hold him and not punish him for it.
Minutes later, she is going to go headfirst into a pit of monsters, the place where Mike had just firsthand witnessed dozens of people (if not more) get ripped to shreds only hours earlier, and she is going to attempt to close the Gate-- a feat that he knows may take every ounce of her power, just like last time. He cries. He can't lose her again. She promises he won't, and before she can seal that promise with a kiss, they're pulled apart again.
He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.
3x1; all seems to be okay now. He and El are happily together, and he feels comfortable enough to be playful, romantic, and intimate with her. It's the most emotionally open we've ever seen Mike thus far.
For reasons he can't understand (bc there's no way Hopper explained himself beyond "I'm in charge so do as I say or else"), Hopper is angry about it and threatens to never allow him to see her again: the one thing he fears most.
He panics big time and fucks it up in the process by lying to her. During a frantic attempt to apologize while also abiding by Hopper's rules, he runs into her at the mall. He panics again-- if anyone finds her here, and knows that he was here too, it's all over, and Hopper surely won't hear reason. El dumps him cold on the spot, spurred on by Max and her rebellious attitude (and without any context of course). He isn't given much opportunity to respond. He knows he's in the wrong for lying to her, so what could he even say...?
He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.
It's a hard blow, and he retreats back into himself, unable to get any joy out of playing D&D (which he clearly hasn't lost interest in), back to the deadpan sarcasm and accidentally snapping a little too harshly at anyone whom he feels would take El's place.
3x6; no one seems to understand the danger El is putting herself in. Everyone is berating him for worrying about her safety. He's seen firsthand what these monsters do to people, he's seen firsthand how El pushes her abilities too far. No one is listening.
The words "I love her and I can't lose her again" burst out in his desperation, perhaps before he's even had a chance to realize how deep those feelings run, despite whatever protective walls he's tried to build around his heart to keep it from getting broken again.
Soon after, all hell breaks loose. El is nearly killed several times over, her leg is ripped open, she pushes herself so hard that she breaks herself and loses her powers completely. Her father is taken from her. She's shattered by all of this, and there's absolutely nothing he could do or say to make it better.
She tells him that when he admitted he loves her, she heard him, and indeed she loves him, too... But now she's leaving.
He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.
4x1; they've been apart for a few months, and write letters back and forth to each other. El's letters paint a picture of an ideal new life: she and the Byers family are doing well; she's starting school and it's going well; she's made new friends, she likes her new home, everything is going well. She seems to be thriving. She sounds happy, maybe even happier than she had been living in Hawkins. Maybe Max was right, maybe she's better off being her own person without him, and maybe the respectful thing to do is step back... It's a small insecurity that creeps up subconsciously. In his replies he holds back, afraid of clinging too hard.
Though there's little logic in it, he's afraid that if he tells her he loves her again, another disaster might strike and this lovely happy life she's finally found might get taken from her. After all, that's what always seems to happen when he does.
4x2; after months of waiting, they can finally see each other again. He wears her favorite colors, picks a handful of flowers for her, and falls happily back into step with how they used to be. Soon that same day, however, reality becomes clear and the facade crumbles. People he was told were her friends show up to torment and publicly humiliate her. She had been lying. She isn't happy here, she hasn't healed, she is right at the edge of a breaking point that he doesn't see coming at all. He can't believe she would lie to him, she's not the kind of person to lie... especially not about something like bullying, something that she was always so understanding about with him.
On that logicless subconscious level, he wonders if it's all his fault-- he should have known somehow, he should have been there for her. She protected him from his bullies, he should have protected her from hers. He tries to come to her rescue. She runs away from him.
He's helpless to save her, again.
4x3; after a night to process everything that happened-- and deciding that the betrayal he feels from her lying to him is nothing compared to the turmoil she must be going through right now-- Mike approaches her in the gentlest way possible, wanting to listen and trying to understand. El, however, isn't receptive at all to his attempts at reassurance. She is at an all-time low, she's given up. She believes she is unlovable, irredeemable, a monster, just a thing that doesn't even have those superhuman abilities to compensate anymore. Mike can't believe what he's hearing-- doesn't she know that she's always been so much more than her powers? She's always been so much more than what she lacks in quote-unquote "normalcy"... None of those things matter, they have absolutely no bearing on whether she's worthy of being loved, because he loves her, completely regardless of any of these things. He always has...
El starts flinging his restrained words back at him, the products of his insecurity and trauma-induced fear. That fear takes hold yet again, and he stumbles, afraid of saying too much or not enough, because surely both could result in pushing her away-- she's retreating, hearing none of it; nothing he tries to say consoles her.
Moments later, local police come knocking. She's taken away in cuffs, and she's so broken inside that she won't even look at him when he chases the police car down the street and promises he'll get her out somehow...
Once again, he has to watch helplessly as she drives away.
4x8/4x9; after days of driving through the heat and dryness of southwest desert, having narrowly escaped being shot at with military-grade assault rifles, witnessing the death of and burying a man whose last words were that El is in danger... After watching dozens of people get mowed down by a sniper in a helicopter, and watching that same helicopter be smashed into the ground in a ball of flames...
There she is. Just as powerful and beautiful and alive as she's ever been. When he runs to her and embraces her, she looks at him like she can't believe he's real. She's beaming a smile right from her soul and it's like all the insecurity and self-doubt that have plagued them both just vanish from existence now that they're in each other's arms again.
Like always, however, the universe comes crashing down soon after. Max is marked for a gruesome death and all of Hawkins is in danger. They're miles away and helpless, and the only possible way for El to save everyone is if she goes in alone. She's stronger than ever, but so is her foe. Once again, she descends to face all the demons of hell on her own, and Mike can't do anything.
She's losing. She's choking. She's dying. He's helpless.
He must be cursed. He must be. Being with her, loving her, allowing himself to admit he loves her, it always brings only pain and suffering and loss. His heart is so full that it's aching, it's bursting out of his chest, and he can't contain it any longer.
She's going to die and it's going to be all his fault, because he fell in love, and it's cursed her.
Just before it all crumbles into utter despair, the earnest support from his oldest and dearest friend-- one who's always shared and understood his feelings of helplessness-- sparks a light of hope in him: "You're the Heart." You're not helpless. You can save her.
The words that come spilling out of Mike's mouth are truer than any he's ever dared to speak before, and it's the most terrified he's ever been, but he has enough courage for this moment. Despite all of the fears that have been building, stifling, choking him to death for years-- fears that the light of his life will inevitably disappear again, and there's nothing he can do to stop it-- despite it all, he pours out his heart to her.
He loves her. He's always loved her. He loves everything she ever was, is, and could be. He can't imagine a world without her in it. She saved him, in every way a person can be saved. And he needs her to live. He believes in her.
And it works. It's music to her ears.
#stranger things#mileven#mike x el#mike wheeler#mine#mileven fuels my soul#'you can only have 30 photos at a time in one post' alright fuck you tumblr#had to collage the first set to fit everything in lol#but ohhh godddd i am so emotional about this dude#he doesnt struggle to say it because he has doubts. its not about whether or not he has feelings for her.#it is 100000% his own personal struggle with himself and his traumas#grabbing screenshots for that last scene though. GOD i was in tears AGAIN#SOMEBODY give Finn every goddamn award under the sun for that performance#the way his VOICE BREAKS!! he sounds so SCARED and VULNERABLE but also so COMPLETELY EARNEST#'i don't know how to live without you' in particular#i will never get over this ever in my whole life tbh#it was so beautiful#also i need there to be more discussion about the parallels between mike's and hopper's internal struggles#because it is almost exactly the same.#the black hole analogy... 'they didnt need me. i needed them. i'm not cursed I am the curse'#like... biggest of ouches#okie dokie ive spat my bars and dropped the mic now its time for B E D#edit days later: i very much regret not brightening the images. goddamn its dark af here
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I think that we should talk about how, in terms of the TFs, it's largely regarded in-universe as only semi-real, with people like Robin referring to the PC's TF, but random townies either ignoring it or using it mockingly against the PC.
We should also talk about how you, generally speaking, can't start with a TF, you can only really gain one. How being through hell in the town will change the PC on such a deep level that it either changes their entire chemical structure, or it forces them to believe that it has.
In this essay, I will explain how the PC is heavily implied to have a dissociative disorder wherein they believe themself to be either sub-human or beyond human standards so much so that it makes them believe that they are physically nonhuman-
#journal#dol#i was doodling some tf stuff for our pc and it made me think a lil ehe#about how like... maybe a pc could see the wolves holding out on their own without the help of others#about how they can fight back and are rightfully feared because of this#and how (esp with a pc living eith the pack) might see that as aspirational to such a degree that theyd believe to be one of them#im dying of heatstroke rn idk if any of this makes sense#anyway my sources for this essay: me (dissociative disorder central)
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Curtwen Week Day 6: Happy Ending
#I like to believe that there is a universe where they get to grow old together#just one#look once upon a time I read a fic that had me bawling my fuckin eyes out where they get to grow old together#I do want to say that I believe in personal growth and I think that Curt can 100% have a happy ending without Owen- where he can grow#away from that experience and where he can healthily cope with the trauma he ended up with#where he can find solace in something other than alcohol and where he can find it in himself to forge new relationships and build his#connections with people like Tatiana#etc etc#I just want to make it known that this is one of many happy endings that could happen#(amongst the several sad ones that I know also exist)#ALSO I wanted to draw the old men and I do what I want#but yeah something something if the universe is infinite /ref#maybe this is a universe where the banana incident never happened and they were able to retire together#ough#the curtwen feels are really getting me today#I adore them#also I used a new brush ive been having fun with this past week#doesn’t it look cool?#I really like drawing with it and I like how it looks so#we might be seeing more of this one in the future#although 6b is still my guy#damn y’know hypothetically- if Owen (depending on the au) and Curt lived to be in their 60s (at least) they would witness the first Pride#god can you imagine that?#At the very least Curt being around for stonewall and everything that came after that with queer rights#FUCK anyways#fun fact: a group of frogs is called an army#isn’t that cute#reminds me of that one person on TikTok that raised like a thousand frogs- they had a literal army of frogs#crazy#curtwen week
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i bring a sort of “why would mark s choose to leave with Gemma? Why would he choose to end his own life on a vague promise from the person who caused his situation in the first place that he might get to live in the real world? why would he believe a single word from the person who chose to doom him to hell in order to bury his own grief? he chose to risk his life in order to save Gemma, but does that mean he’s obligated to walk out that door? why would he choose to leave the woman he loves and the only life he can ever know, in order for the man he isn’t to be reunited with the wife who isn’t? ‘they give us half a life and think we won’t fight for it’ and he did, because he’s doomed either way, but he’ll fight for every second of existence he can get, and it’s not fair, but none of this is, and that’s the point, you can choose to sever a part of yourself to become a suffering homunculus but you can’t control them once the elevator dings, so I think it’s a little more nuanced than a simple shipping war” vibe to the conversation that severance fans really don’t like
#i love Gemma and helly r and mark and mark s and I want them all to be happy#but that isn’t what the story is about and there is no version of it that has a simple clean happy ending#we all want mark and Gemma to live happily ever after but that’s not possible without ending a life#and how can you live happily ever after with that blood on your hands#severance#severance spoilers
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more phoenix wright situations
#ace attorney tag#maybe i should tag this narumitsu or something. but i dont really care.#gearing up to rereading/illustrating bits of my fic i suppose...i think nick really is too dense to realise he's in love with edgeworth#without some scheming fop trying to intrude. i love villains like kristoph..villains can be fun..witnessing their pathetic folly..#or more like edgeworth would never have mentioned his feelings ever in his life if he wasn't sure phoenix reciprocates.#i want to see it this way because Falling in love during childhood with the person you're going to end up with. is not relatable#there have to be Situations that make you Realise.#as with orufrey i adore the idea of people not working out their romance with that person until their 30s+#but... i mean. even with orufrey i often think how alaira could be qifrey's ex. and oru having been pursued by noble fops through his work#there is that delicate sliver of time before orufrey start living together that such believable situations could have happened.#Then the relief of politely and amicably extricating themselves from those untenable situations#the idea of falling in love age 7 and saving your first kiss for age 35 or something is all very well but more relatable is#people realising how they really feel whilst trying something that ends up feeling wrong.#The comfort and joy of living with your dearest one as if it's platonic - much preferable to trying anything more with anyone else.#But i doubt i will ever portray that or mention it further. it is indeed very delicate to me.#and i really am an OTP FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kind of person who can barely bear to consider this anyway...NOT a polyshipper i'm afraid !#so i wouldn't mind either if they do have their first kiss in their lives age 35 with each other either. I would not mind that at all.#i love bi/gay couples apparently... bi father figures & their grumpy gay men waiting for them to work it all out...#not used to using colour in comic-style drawings..or at all..so this is messy and awkward looking..but colour is refreshing#i imagine i will go back to witch hat art soon btw. my destiny in life.#i still remember writing my nrmt fic expecting to write their first kiss & then partway through twas like Umm No. They have kissed prior.#does that really line up with this comic though... i think i had their early dinner dates/first kiss BEFORE disbarment.#so i guess this comic doesn't line up with my ficverse.... No..... U___U Oh well. sorry kris! <3
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