#how do you even call the text thingy

[mochiroreo]

I had to sign to the Devil now I’m on

Alpha!Rafe Cameron & Alpha!JJ Maybank x Omega!reader

TW: 18+ MDNI, NON-CON, DUBCON, afab!reader, reader being called “honey” most of the time, toxic alpha behavior, threesome, rough unprotected P in V, creampie, fingering, squirting, oral ( f receiving), choking,degradation, biting, primal play (non-consensual), a/b/o terminologies, marking/bonding, spitting, (let me know if I have missed anything!)

Author’s note: screw my halloween thingy. i clearly underestimated myself by thinking that I can write something short and call it a day while working full-time and writing book reviews as a side job lol. love you all and thanks for sticking around!

P.s. this is not beta’d hehe. We die like men.

“Do you need anything else?” Concern was evident on your mother’s voice, her shadow showing that she’s still outside your door, patiently waiting for an answer. “I-I’m fine mom..” you breathlessly answered “I t-think I can h-handle this for now.. thank you.” Before you even finished thanking her, another wave of nausea made you stumble towards you toilet. You tried to empty your stomach that was already empty for days now, puking your heart out.

Hearing you vomiting, your mom entered the room and held your hair out of the way, kneeling with you while rubbing soft circles on your back. She helped you cleaned up yourself, gently laying you down on your bed before arranging an array of snacks and microwaveable soups near your desk along with medication that might help ease out the pain and.. heat spells.

“I will ask your dad to give you space, we will go out for a few days, I know how much you hate our scents at this time. I am so sorry honey I cannot help you—“ “it’s alright mom. This is already too much.” You smiled at her, easing her nerves before quickly pressing a kiss on your forehead, trying not to overwhelm you with her own scent. “Just message us once you feel like its over, okay? Or anything, really.” Giving a curt nod, she left your room, hearing her softly talking to your dad.

Both of your parents are Alphas, based on the genetics class that you took, you have to be an Alpha as well. Everyone around you presented months ahead of you, some even years. Being the only late-bloomer at a small town, word quickly travelled and you were labelled as the “odd” one. You ignored them though, confidently assuring yourself that you are going to be one of the small numbers of being an Alpha. Omegas were very rare as well, yet you would rather be an Alpha with how severe Omega heats are. And as far as you know, if an Omega presents, their heat immediately follows. You really don’t want to be handling two major things in one sitting.

Something in your gut was not feeling right as you listen to your lecturer, taking notes on all the possible symptoms for every class.

You were having a small crisis during one of your breaks at the university, frustrated at still not having a status on the ‘hierarchy’ while ignoring texts from 2 annoying people that you try not to meet on campus every day. Your phone kept on vibrating, making you sigh in annoyance and proceeding to block those 2 numbers despite knowing that they will find another way to send you messages.

The two annoying people that got blocked was JJ and Rafe, who happens to be the top Alphas on the campus that you pay no mind to. Who also happens to be the people you have drunkenly slept with after a night long of partying for the first time. Waking up sandwiched in between of them, all three of you covered in bites and hickeys, your mind quickly presented every possible thing that the woman at campus might do to you. You carefully slide out of their hold and quickly dressed up, tiptoed your way out without even leaving a note.

You tried to act normal the next day, thinking that if you don’t pay any attention to them they wouldn’t notice you nor remember what happened that night. But with how heavy their gazes are towards you, you quickly realised that they are not on the same page as you are. Confusion ate you as to why would it bother them, but you continued to avoid them and their gazes. It was quiet for a while, before they started texting you. It went from “Hi. Its JJ :)” “Hey its Rafe” to “Would really love to feel you again” “you were so hot that night” which made your cheeks burn in embarrassment, quickly deleting their messages, only to be met with a new number and tons of missed calls.

You do not get their obsession at all, cause you are pretty sure you were hammered that night. Shots after shots, cocktails after cocktails, you were sure you just got wild and did the usual things to them that would be done with a normal hook up. You did not expect your first time partying to end up in their arms, but sure as hell you do not want to experience whatever might happen if word goes out that you slept with the “hottest” people in your university.

Sighing, you stared at your melting smoothie. The gloomy weather was affecting you as you slowly face the sky. You looked down at your sprawled out notes, trying to talk to yourself to study instead of overthinking about when you would present. The sky looks gloomier, making you quickly pack your things as it looks like its going to rain, when suddenly you felt dizzy.

You quickly balanced yourself, clutching your bag near your chest in shock. You were just thinking on what might be the reason before another wave of dizziness hits you once again. Sitting down slowly on the bench, you quickly messaged your bestfriend if she can take you home. Your best friend immediately came to where you are, helping you on her car. “Holy fuck you look so pale” she commented in the middle of the drive towards your house, your hair sticking at your nape and your forehead as you feel hot and cold at the same time.

Your best friend told your parents what happened, letting you rest. A few days rest would be enough, you thought. That clearly did not work. 5 days went by like a blur, days were spent on having the highest fever ever to vomiting the soup that you ate for lunch. And with how severe and noticeable the symptoms are, your parents chose to go out for a while to not overwhelm you with their pheromones, leaving you alone.

The nausea that you had throughout those days was replaced with something more embarrassing and something that made you cry in frustration. The sudden heat and wetness that kept on pooling on your legs with the excessive amount of releasing pheromones into the air only meant one thing.. you’re presenting as an Omega and you’re having your first heat.

You laid down sweaty on your bed, the room stuffy and boiling hot for you despite the cold autumn air entering through your windows and the AC that you have turned on. A wave of pleasure had hit your body, your hands pushing down the garter of your soaking wet underwear, immediately slipping two fingers in your deprived pussy. You mewled at the sudden feeling, thrusting your fingers almost immediately to relieve yourself. Holding your legs up, you continued to pump your fingers in and out to reach the climax that seems so far away. You cried out in frustration, stopping your actions when you’ve realized that whatever you’re doing is not and won’t be enough unless its an Alpha.

You quickly grabbed your phone beside, messaging your bestfriend about your situation.

“I am hundred percent certain that I’m presenting as an Omega and I’m having my first heat. Do you mind telling Pope to— you know..? Visit me.. if he’s there at the party”

Pope was your safest bet for an Alpha to help you out. The guy was the kindest and definitely one of the smartest people you have ever met, so you trust that whatever he would do would help you and ease the pain. There was a sudden pain in your chest from your heat that pushed you to release more of your scent, you’re breathing so fast that you try to ease the pain by curling into a ball. Waiting for it stop, you heard your phone pinged and quickly took a look at your bestfriend’s message that says “Oh shit, I’m on it 🫡”

You waited for what seems to be hours, as your heat becomes more and more unmanageable. You tried to look decent at least, a red, thin silk nightgown that sits on your body perfect and a properly brushed hair before swiping some strawberry lipgloss. You felt bare and nervous with Pope seeing you in this state, but you cannot help at thinking that this might be a step on having a serious relationship with someone reliable and can help you out with your cycles.

The doorbell rang, making you gulp nervously before trotting downstairs to open the door slightly and what you saw just made your stomach drop along with your smile. “What the hell are you both doing here?” You asked with squinted eyes, holding the doorknob tightly.

JJ’s huge smile greeted you while Rafe just smirked in amusement. “Are you that disappointed to see us?” JJ asked, making you squint harder at him in annoyance. Rafe just chuckled before pouting to mock at your expression, leaning on the door frame which made you close the door a bit more. “Aww, she doesn’t wanna see us.” “Shut up. I asked you guys a question, what are you both doing here?” You continued, trying not to get overwhelmed with both of their scents as you will yourself not to give in.

“Well, we heard something from a little birdie that someone has presented as an Omega and well.. that someone, requires some top Alpha service.” JJ answered behind Rafe, a menacing smile on his face as he stares on your paling face. “Mhm,” Rafe nods in agreement before slightly pushing the door, gripping the edge tightly. “Do you know who that new Omega is?” The slight push exposed your thin nightgown, and based on Rafe’s darkening expression and JJ’s slightly wide eyes, you knew that you’re running out of time to push them away.

“I don’t know what you guys are talking about.” With an eye roll, you were about to slam the door, when both of them pushed it to stop you. You were still holding the door knob so you tried to push it close only to be met with resistance. “Seriously, you’re fucking choosing Pope? When you have us?” Rafe asks, his blue eyes staring at you so intently as he try to sneak a peek at your body behind the door. You heard JJ sigh, laying his palm flat on your door, hearing the clunk of his rings. “You know.. I feel a bit betrayed. You, choosing a good friend of mine, instead of me? Have you forgotten what you said to us THAT night?”

His emphasis made you shut your eyes, the image of their bare torsos flooding your memory and their breathless sighs made you clench your legs, unknowingly releasing some pheromones into the air that wafted straight into their nostrils. Both taking a deep breath, your scent smelling like amber, honey, and vanilla, making both of them salivate. You snapped out of your daze when you noticed them being quiet, realising your mistake when you noticed that their eyes are almost black,irises swallowing the pretty blue hues of their orbs.

You tried to push the door shut once again, both Rafe and JJ trying to push it open. “Open the door, honey. Come on.” Rafe said menacingly, staring you down. The vast difference of your size to them made you shiver in fear and anticipation on what they might do to you. You slapped yourself mentally before trying to push it shut again. JJ clicked his tongue before sighing “That’s it.” He mumbled under his breath before giving Rafe a short nod. Rafe just smirked before they both gave the door one solid push, making you tumble backwards.

Preventing yourself from falling backwards, you immediately balanced yourself, slowly stepping back while maintaining eye contact with the two. Your heart is pounding inside your chest so loud that you can hear it together with your heavy breaths. Rafe and JJ’s stature just scares you, their toned arms ready to capture you as they walk towards you like a predator catching its prey. When a click was heard with JJ shutting the door, you quickly grabbed whatever was near you, which happens to be a vase, and threw it towards the two.

With Rafe being the closest, he barely managed to dodge it, scraping the side of his arm. He just looked at you, snapping his neck as he chuckles. “Oh woohh..” he exhaled, a menacing smirk on his lips as JJ just laughed beside him. “You shouldn’t have done that.” He growled lowly, not taking his eyes of your quivering form. “Run, honey. Cause once we catch you—“ you did not even let JJ finished his sentence before you start running upstairs, hearing their laughter echoing throughout the empty house.

You were panicking, trying to wrack your brain on where to hide. Your house was a decent size, so even though there’s not much place to hide, you still knew what places they might not even spare a glance. You crawled inside a spacious cupboard that is concealed behind the door in your guest bathroom, talking to yourself inside your head to slow down your breathing.

“Honey~ come out, come out wherever you are~” JJ called out in a singsong way while Rafe just chuckled. You heard their steps getting closer before hearing them walk away to check whatever room they haven’t checked. Covering your mouth in fear, you closed your eyes to stop yourself from shivering. You just wanted this to end, this fucking heat. This situation. This was far from what you wanted already, from discovering you’re an omega to seeing the people that you hate so much outside of your house instead of Pope.

It was suspiciously quiet, yet you did not move. You were still trying to control your thoughts and your shivering body, your hair sticking into your skin with how warm you are feeling because of your heat and because of the cramped space. You felt another ripple of pleasure, making you close your eyes shut. “Not now, not now, not now” you plead to yourself, the heat being way more worse after the confrontation. You didn’t hear anything from outside. Trusting your gut feeling, you removed your hands from your mouth and finally opened your eyes.

Only to be met with Rafe and JJ’s big smile that made the blood drain from your face.

“Boo.”

A deafening scream escaped your throat as Rafe grabbed you out of your hiding space, your arm suffering from a bruising grip. You did not stop trying to hit him or JJ even when he carried you over his shoulder, trying to hit his back while also aiming to kick JJ. Rafe smacked your ass, the pain immediately traveling to your wet core. JJ smelled it in the air, watching you sob as Rafe plopped you down on your bed. They both stared at your disheveled state, your nightgown sticking to your skin, highlighting your pebbled nipples that are now evident thanks to the cold air from you open window.

Both men did not waste any time, taking off their clothes as you watch in shock. You cannot help your eyes trailing down, from their faces that showed no other emotion than want, to their taut arms and muscles. Your eyes widened when you saw how huge their cocks are just because of your heat, Rafe’s longer and a bit curved while JJ’s a good length yet clearly thicker than the other, making you gulp in fear and anticipation, your hormones taking over your mind as it turns into a mush.

They were both beside you in an instant, with Rafe landing a slap on your cheek that does not sting much yet brought your mind down back to your body again. “Why can’t you just follow, huh? This wouldn’t have happened if you just listened to us.” You continued to just stare at him, trying to cover your breasts using your arms before you felt JJ wrapping his hand around your neck. “He is asking a question, honey. Come on now.”

Your eyes started to water yet you felt your pussy clench on nothing, instead of answering, you have accidentally let out a soft mewl.

“Fuck, look at you.” JJ spoke, licking his lips as his hold on your neck slightly tightened. “Who would have known that you will love this?” Rafe grabbed the neck line of your night gown before ripping it, making you gasp. You felt vulnerable by the sudden action, trying to cover up your body which made them both annoyed.

“Who told you to cover yourself up, slut?” You felt Rafe smack your leg, before shoving it upwards to show them your weeping cunt. Your face heated up in shame with how wet you are, your own juices trailing down your legs. You didn’t get to answer back as JJ lets go of his hold on your neck before leaning down to kiss you. The kiss is sloppy and extra messy because of what your heat was doing to them. He tasted every corner of your mouth as you obediently open to let him, tongues dancing with each other, biting his bottom lip which made him groan into your mouth. The sound made your pussy clench on nothing, making Rafe laugh mockingly.

“Aww, look at this weeping cunt. I bet you had a hard time huh? It’s alright, I will make you feel good.” You didn’t have enough time to get down from the high of JJ’s kiss when you felt Rafe lick your folds slowly, coating his tongue in your essence. The action made you grip JJ’s hair while he press wet kisses on your neck, sucking and licking as he covers you with hickeys.

Your brain turned into a mush, the fight inside of you now long gone as you feel mind-numbing pleasure from the both of them. Rafe continued to plunge his tongue inside of you, his thumb rubbing your clit in circles, his mouth and chin covered in your slick as he continue to eat you out. Sliding a finger inside of you, you immediately moaned and clenched, making the kook king smirk mockingly. “And she wants to put up a fight? Hah.” JJ commented before latching on your nipples, teasing it between his teeth and feeling it harden on his tongue. You don’t know what’s happening anymore, other than the feel of their mouths on your body. Rafe slipped in another finger, and another when you mewled.

His three fingers pumped in an out of you, setting a punishing pace. You had long shut your eyes, brows scrunched in pleasure with your mouth agape. JJ tapped your cheek repeatedly, making you open your eyes. “Keep your eyes open and watch us fuck you.” You watched Rafe suck your clit, fingers squelching as it tries to go deeper everytime, and when he curved his fingers and felt that rough texture, your eyes rolled at the back of your head, snapping open that release that you’ve wanted for days.

Rafe felt your pussy flood with your cum, clenching hard on his fingers. Continuing still, JJ grinned when he watched your legs shake, making Rafe pull back. “Oh shit” he muttered, both of them seeing the liquid gushing out of your cunt. “God.. thats fucking hot.” Brushing his hair upwards, while Rafe wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, your chest heaving up and down.

You were tired but not yet satisfied as your mouth waters at the sight of their cocks, seemingly larger than earlier. You wanted to suck and taste it, feel it heavy on you tongue but it seems like they don’t want that today. Both men positioned your body for what they want to do, JJ sliding underneath you with Rafe positioning himself above you. Your eyes were slowly closing, before a slap echoed on the room. “Fucking wake up, you hear me?” With a clenched jaw, Rafe grabbed you by the jaw with force, making you nod your head. JJ cackled, pressing his bare chest on yours. “Where’s the fight that you had earlier? Gone already?” He continued to made fun of you, feeling him rub his tip to your puckered hole. “Knew it was this easy to get you like this. Why are you even playing hard to get?”

Being sandwiched between them two sent your brain into an overload. All you were thinking about was the relief and pleasure of having them and taking them both. The fight inside of you turned into craving the feeling of their lips on your skin, their pheromones clouding your mind as much as your cloud theirs. You felt your slick drip down, from your puffy pussy lips to your hole. You felt the soft tip of JJ’s cock poking your hole, lubricating it with your slick and with his pre-cum before pushing in slowly. The intrusion made your body tense up, craning your head back and resting it on his shoulder. JJ hissed with the tightness, holding in a breath as he push,push,push inside of you. Rafe noticed how you scrunched your eyebrows, making him rub circles on your clit to loosen you up.

The sudden action made you scratch JJ’s arm that was holding you in place, squirting as he is finally balls deep inside of you. JJ lets out a shaky breath while Rafe only chuckled, before pushing his huge cock inside of you without warning. You gasped, looking down to slightly to see his flushed body connecting with yours while feeling JJ behind you, hands now holding your legs open. Leaning closer, Rafe growled in your ear while JJ moaned on the other side. Both men tentatively gave you one hard thrust, making you clench on the both of them.

The action made both of them give you another hard thrust, hands digging on your waist and hips, trying to create a rhythm. Rafe’s thrust were continuous and forceful, immediately hitting your sweet spot which made you curl your toes while JJ’s were short yet deep, stuffing your entrance so full of his thick cock that all you can think about is how full you are and how mind-numbing the pleasure is.

JJ constantly sucks hickeys on the side of your neck while Rafe attacks your lips with a searing kiss, their hips never stopping as drools drips from the side of your lips. Both blondes cannot help but bask on the feeling of your wetness and the squelching sounds your holes are making while you moan so erotically for them to hear, your sweet scent making it more pleasurable for them. “I-I’m close.. oh god I’m so c-close..!” You tried to warn them, holding Rafe close as you drag your nails on his back making the taller male stutter out a low moan.

Your warning just made JJ’s urge to own you stronger, grabbing your hips in a bruising hold as he piston his hips, feeling his wet balls smacking your ass with every thrust, prompting Rafe to do the same. “Take it— fuck, take it you fucking whore..!” He whispered with Rafe wrapping his hand on your neck, squeezing slightly making you open your eyes. “Doesn’t this remind you of that night?” He asks, following JJ’s rhythm. Tears flowed down your cheeks as you get overwhelmed with pleasure, constantly moaning and releasing a series of ah,ah,ah as a bitch in heat. “You told us you are ours that night, stuffing you so full like this.” He smirked at you, watching how filthy you look like, taking both of their cocks and letting them have their way with you. JJ chuckled breathlessly when he hear what Rafe said “yeah— fuck— remember how she moaned that night while holding her legs open? Then acted like nothing happened, now look at you. Back to doing it again for us.”

You were too far gone. Their comments slipping down your brain as your body focused on the fullness and the harsh circles on your clit that you don’t even know who’s giving you with your eyes rolled at the back of your head. “C-coming..!” You didn’t even finished your warning as you cum, clenching on both of them tightly. Yoyur body convulsed, mouth slack and open which prompted Rafe to spit on it. Both men felt your hot slick wetting them both, chasing their own highs.

JJ looked at Rafe, licking his bottom lip before cocking an eyebrow. A silent challenge to the other alpha male before sinking his teeth on your shoulder blade. The sharp pain made you open your eyes full of unshed tears, breathing heavy as pain and pleasure mixed inside of you. JJ licked the wound, pressing with kisses before huskily moaning, releasing his cum deep inside of you, filling you up as he relishes on the high from the sex and from marking you as his. “Mine.” JJ whispered while looking at Rafe, clearly challenging the other with a smug smirk.

Rafe snarled, baring his teeth on the other blonde before thrusting deep inside of your abused cunt and biting the other side of your shoulder. His bite was rougher than the other, hot pain searing inside of you as you open your mouth in a silent scream before feeling him cum deep inside of you. Kissing the bitten area of your shoulders, they both stayed inside of you before pulling out at the same time. Your tired state was evident with how flushed your cheeks are and how your eyes were barely open.

Both of them stood up, JJ laying down your tired form properly on the bed while Rafe grabs a wet cloth to clean you up. While cleaning you properly, both men cannot help but watch you sleep while baring their marks, officially marking you as theirs. They want you for themselves but both of them won’t back down, settling on the terms that they share you, as long as its only the two of them that gets to taste and fuck you.

They held your body close, the haze of stuffing you full still buzzing on their system as they settle beside you. Looking at their bite marks, both of them grinned foolishly, finally claiming you as theirs.

“You fucking assholes!”

Both men immediately sits up in shock, still sleepy from the draining activities last night. When they both opened their eyes, they saw you standing in front of your mirror, staring at the bites that they left on each of your shoulder blades in horror.

You looked at both of them in disbelief, hiding the marks with your hands while you sob. JJ and Rafe just smiled at you, clearly proud of their work. “Get out— get out!” You screamed at their faces, ignoring the fact that your heat is still not finished yet. Feeling betrayed that they staked their claim. Now everyone will know who claimed you, their pheromones will always cling on your skin and your body reacting more actively when they’re closer because they had bonded you without your consent. You sobbed at the fact that instead of having someone mature to help you out on your heat cycles, you instead got two of the most possessive bastards in the world.

Rafe just leaned back while JJ rested his head on his hands. “Now, now” JJ started. “I think you need to calm down. We really need to teach our little omega how to speak to her Alphas properly, right, Rafe?” The other just chuckled, eyeing your naked body with lust. “Oh definitely. I cannot have a bratty little omega prancing around with such a dirty mouth. I guess, we both need to stuff her mouth with our cocks, put her into place huh?” You ignored them and screamed “oh fuck off! You fucking pieces of shit!” Your chest was heaving in anger.

Rafe grabbed the lamp besides him and threw it on the wall behind you while JJ lets out a warning growl.

You just stared at them in shock, covering your now cowering body as they stare at you intensely with clenched jaws. JJ stood up, walking towards you before dragging you forcefully towards the bed by your hair. Letting out a scream,he shoved you down the bed with your ass propped up for both of them to see, before landing a harsh spank on your ass. You cried out in pain, before feeling Rafe’s hand on your nape, pressing you down and choking you.

“You are ours. OURS.” He threatened through clenched teeth.

The sun went down. The day ended with you covered and full with their cum, using and abusing all your holes, covered in hickeys and bruises that will last for days. Clearly expecting you to learn your lesson, your mind blank as you take and take whatever they give you.

[katuvila]

ー 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮.

WARNINGS！ : Mentions of NSFW!

TYPE? : Headcanon! { I THINK}

Characters : Vil schoenheit & Rook hunt

A/ N 𝄞 : HALLALAOOOOOO! This is my first writing thingy idk, it's just some ideas I had and I decided to make my first writings about Rook and Vil! Since they're the only ones I could write a bit. Hahauheueueheheu ヽ(*´▽)ノ♪I'm hoping you enjoy dis but it's pretty short.

𝐕𝐢𝐥 during his free time would often play a particular game, it was embarrassing how he fell for a fictional character. That fictional character was you; So once he stumbled upon some silly writings of you he immediately tapped on the screen to see what it was about, he read the description of the writing and the tags. One word caught his attention, Smut. He had never come across this word before, his interest piqued but before he could read it he had to do some things first. A few days passed after he decided to drop it and soon he went to his history to search for it again. Soon he opened it once more and read through some of the lines.

Looking at the content in it a blush came to his face, it was turning a bit spicy. The author did so well writing out the scenes, he could imagine your tight hole wrapping around his member. His pants became tighter as he gripped his phone with one hand, it was making him hot and bothered he desperately wanted to read more. Before he could he heard a knock on the door and quickly exited out of the tab, he was ashamed he could indulge in such things but it was enjoyable. When he is free Vil will look for some more fics of the same category…

𝐑𝐨𝐨𝐤 sometimes would go on his phone for texts, calls, the normal. He had encountered a game to play and was fascinated by your character. Another person he could fangirl about. When looking through some posts and fanart of you there was a link to fanfiction about you, the intrigued hunter clicked on the link and read the title. There were some NSFW warnings and MDNI. What were these weird abbreviations? He had read some novels before but never this type and it included his favorite character as well. Rook read the first few lines and got hooked, he scrolled down to see more, the vivid descriptions of your mouth and bobbing your head up and down on his member made him aroused. Rook wanted to find more of these ‘NSFW fanfics.’ maybe in the future he would even create some himself.

[dynsdiary]

━━ my pov of ellie iii

warnings : use of yn, lowkey self inserted uhh, using spotify cause the blend thingy but PLEASE BOYCOTT SPOTIFY GUYS !!!

cr : @idontgetanysleep & pinterest for the pics

ellie's taglist (lmk if u wanna be add / remove) : @ellstronaut , @dinaissoprettyoml , @julienology , @euphternal , @sapphhicslut

also chat, boop me !!

part i ⟶ part ii

DAILY CLICK

DONT BUY TLOU

WAYS TO HELP PALESTINE

⭐️ she’s the type of person who is not into pda that much (but you guys still do pda like holding hands/hand on waist or shoulder & some kisses here n there) BUT SHE LOVE YOU LOUD & PROUDLY!! 🍮 all of her social media bios would be something like “taken by @yourtag” or “e + your initial : ♡” or “i love my wife” KNOWING DAMN WELL YALL ARE NOT MARRY (yet… 😏) 🕯️ her page would be filled with your pictures / something that has you in it. and would caption like “she saw it first” or “yn chose it for me” like okay we get it ellie 🙄✋

⭐️ GUYS HEAR ME OUT!!!! she’s the type that would wait for you to get ready and be like “oh it's okay, i can wait. just make sure to be safe & look pretty f’me” LIKE HIHIRHEUDBSOANA 🍮 would let you do her hair (tiny braids !!!) 🕯️ she so corny guys i just know it

⭐️ omg few months or maybe even weeks of you two talking she would be asking you if you have spotify (boycott spotify guys!!) and ask you if you wanna do a blend, she just wanna know you better through your music taste 🍮 WOULD TOTALLY FREAK OUT WHEN THE RESULTS ARE ABOVE 80 “she’s my soulmate, i knew it” and do hand YES! gesture thingy (pls know what im saying (◞‸◟) ) 🕯️ why, just why, her gf had to live 34764482939 away from her!! (ellie is being dramatic but so real)

⭐️ WOULD LEARN YOUR FAV SONGS TO PLAY ON HER GUITAR AND SENT YOU VIDEOS OF HER PLAYING IT AND BE LIKE “for you, baby” or post it on her story and captioned (?) “for my girl @yourtag” 🍮 i know she makes a lot of playlists for you. started when you were her crush, then you were in the talking stage with her, then the two of you dating, then songs that reminded her of you

🕯️ SHE WOULD SING TO CLAIRO's SONGS WITH YOUU AND DANCING AROUND IN THE KITCHEN OR 3 AM TO THE SMITHS OMGOMG

⭐️ her home & lock screen is your picture, it doesn’t matter if the pictures of both of you tgt or just you. 🍮 matching stuff with you LIKE HELLO YES SHE LOVE IT !!!! immediately drop everything when you ask her if she wanna matches w you, per examples :

🕯️ she just a biggest simp ever!!! ⭐️ loveee calling you especially facetime, she just adore looking at your pretty face, your sweet smile & listen to your cute laughs every time ellie cracks a joke. 🍮 would cut & peel fruits for you, and you do it to her as well 🕯️ text you in 3 in the morning for her & you scolding her for not sleeping

⭐️ blurts out i love you one time and since then she just wont stop saying how much she loves you 🍮 since you guys are in ldr :(, ellie had to give you gifts & all that by giving you a package but the good thing is that you can keep the letters she wrote for you and the drawing she gave you as well !! 🕯️ HER FRICKING JOURNAL IS FULL WITH YOU..... not kidding...and some sweet details that she had noticed about you

⭐️ always tweeting how she wished she's with you and would diff tweet something like " 'if she wanted, she would', then WHY IS SHE NOT TELEPORTING HERE, NEXT TO ME, LAYIN ON MY ARM, WHYYY" (this is so me coded lol)

🍮 omg would do streaks with you to update abt each other's day and also locket

🕯️ timezone sucks so be ready to be wake to 99+ tiktoks ellie had sent you while you were sleeping. (you did the same thing too)

⭐️ movie night every friday !!

🍮 few years of ldr and both you & ellie had decided to moved in together

🕯️ would surprise you once in awhile and vice versa

⭐️ girly would treat the teddy bear that you gifted her like its her CHILD (it is)

🍮 ellie who loves you very dearly

🕯️ ellie is your girlfriend & also now, your roommate (hehe hinted)

REMINDER !!

that neil is a zionist and therefore dont buy his games, doesnt matter remastered or not !!!

before you leave, have you DONATE TO PALESTINE today? ITS FREE TOO !!

[upon-a-starry-night]

Number Neighbors Pt.24

Natasha Romanoff x Fem! Reader

Natasha Masterlist Series Masterlist

Word Count: 2.1k

Summary:  When you catch sight of the newest trend going around you know you’re all but bound to at least try it, it was harmless anyway. What could possibly stem from something so little?

----

You were more than Nat could have ever imagined. Her conversation with you had been on loop in her mind for the past few days. The sound of your laughter filled her with so much warmth it was overwhelming. The way you talked about her like she’d hung the moon in the sky made her want to cry. Nobody had ever talked about her like that. 

And the way you looked at her God- your eyes. She had a scary feeling she would do anything you asked of her if you kept looking at her like that.

She’d wanted to tell you then and there who she was so she could confess how she felt. But the prospect was terrifying and when your friend called it felt like the moment had come and gone. When she’d finally regained the confidence to tell you, her eyes drifted to your shoulder and it got her thinking about what your life would be like if you were with her.

You would be in danger if anyone ever found out about you. She’d never let it happen, no one would ever get close enough to hurt you but- could you forgive her for what she would do to them if they tried? Would you be mad at her for not telling you who she was sooner? You called her incredible. Even with all the red in her ledger you looked at her like a saint. You and your words were magnetic.

It was scary how much she missed your presence now that she’d met you. Suddenly she understood why Clint was always so eager to fly home.

Walking to the kitchen, she pulls out her phone as soon as it buzzes, expecting it to be you. Instead she’s met with the Avengers group chat.

        Idiots❤:

MetalHead(Tony):

As soon as I get back from this

press conference in Paris we’re having

a meeting

Old Ice Cube(Steve):

Again Stark?

Science Nerd(Bruce):

Is this about the new compound or

that Government thing?

MetalHead:

The government thingy

…

Actually both.

Spy-der (Nat):

Again? Tony, We’ve already talked about this…

Clinton:

You should drop it Stark.

I don’t want this to end in a fight.

Old Ice Cube:

Bucky and I are firmly against it.

Jacket Stealer(Wanda):

You already know what the 

Government thinks of me.

MetalHead:

We’ll talk when I get back.

Toodles!

Nat rolls her eyes but can’t help the uneasy feeling about the situation. Tony needed to stop pushing such a big decision on everyone before her family gets broken apart…again.

~~~~~~

That party was one of the best decisions of your entire life. You’d gained three new friends and an unforgettable conversation with your hero. It was safe to say the entire week after the party you were in good spirits and nobody could make that stop. Your cheeks hurt from how much you’d been smiling as of late.

You can tell Nat’s been wanting to call you all week but if you’re honest you get too flustered everytime you even think of her voice. And you have a weird feeling that nags at the back of your mind everytime you think of it, like your brain is screaming at you but you don’t know why.

Not to mention you’re not prepared for another rejection of a meet-up. Calling is one thing but meeting in person is… even you don’t know if you’re ready for that. What if you weren’t what she imagined? What if she didn’t feel the same way you did? What if she sees you waiting for her and turns around and blocks your number and you’ll never know why? 

You’d been on a sort of high after meeting Natasha Romanoff and you’re scared of ruining it. Although you’re sure Nat would never intentionally hurt you. Your own fears are stronger than your desires so you stick to texting her and Nat seems to be respecting that.

Today though, you think you might have gained the courage to finally accept her call if she asks. You'll just have to avoid the topic of meeting to spare any awkwardness or aching in your heart. Plopping down on your couch and opening up your phone, you resume your active conversation with Nat with a confident smile.

          Nat🔪: 

Y/n🍦:

I smacked directly into the pole Nat!

It was so embarrassing!

Nat🔪:

I hope you know I’m laughing

Y/n🍦:

I wouldn’t expect anything less.

Nat🔪:

It’s New York Y/n, I promise no one

cares that much

Y/n🍦:

Tell that to the group of teenagers

Filming across the street

Nat🔪:

Wait one second-

Y/n🍦:

What are you doing?

Nat🔪:

I’m trying to find that video 

Y/n🍦:

Don’t you fucking dare!

I’ll strangle you through the screen!

Nat🔪:

Or you could just strangle me in real life?

You nearly choke. Your body split between blushing because of the implication and freaking out at the proposition. 

Y/n🍦:

Haha. very funny

Nat🔪:

Y/n.

Let’s meet.

Your heart leaps to your throat and you choke on it. At least that’s what it feels like. She wanted to meet you. You get up from your couch and pour yourself a glass of water, taking note of the way your hand shakes as you drink. Why wasn’t this cooling the heat that felt like it was suffocating you? Surely your mind was playing tricks on you, she was seriously offering to meet? 

Y/n🍦:

Wait wait-

Don’t get my hopes up.

Are you joking?

Nat🔪:

I wouldn’t dream of it

Y/n🍦:

If this is a trick I’ll cry

Nat🔪:

I’d never forgive myself if 

I was the cause of your tears

After all this time you’d practically lost all hope that you’d ever meet Nat in person, the last thing you expected was for her to be the one to suggest it. You almost want to laugh. Leave it to Nat to constantly subvert your expectations. You wondered what changed her mind.

Y/n🍦: 

Okay.

Nat🔪:

Okay?

Y/n🍦:

Yes. Let’s do it.

When are you free?

Nat🔪:

I have a meeting on Thursday so

Friday?

Does that work for you?

Y/n🍦:

Friday, yep, yes I am free.

You leave out the fact that you would cancel all plans and call out sick to work if you had to.

Nat🔪: 

That cute Plant Cafe on 6th at 4pm work for you?

You had no idea what cafe she was talking about but you would figure it out. If you were laying in bed yo figured you’d be kicking your feet and giggling like a schoolgirl.

Y/n🍦:

Sounds Perfect.

This was really happening. You were going to meet.

~~~~~

The two of you text throughout the rest of the week like normal but there’s something different about it. The energy is charged with something, something that fills your stomach with a dizzying heat. You were going to meet Nat. You have to scroll up and reread the messages every few hours just to make sure you aren’t hallucinating. 

Even your coworker seems to have noticed the shift in your mood and she asked if it was because of your girlfriend you just grinned even wider and shook your head. You couldn’t hide your blushing however, and at lunch, you were forced to admit that you might have a ‘sort of date’ to which your friend squealed and invited herself over to help you plan an outfit.

It was Wednesday now which meant you were two days away from meeting Nat and you were bursting with anticipation. Your friend laughs at your antics as she pours you a glass of wine which you gladly accept. The two of you sat down on your couch, a cheesy romcom playing in the background as you chatted about what’s been happening in your lives these past few months.

You’re enjoying getting to know her and exchanging embarrassing stories when she stops to observe you, a genuine smile on her face

“What?” You ask, you’ve not known her long but she already looks at you like you’ve known each other for years.

She shakes her head “I’m just happy for you Y/n.” When you don’t speak she continues “ You’re the happiest I've ever seen you lately. At first, I thought it had something to do with that boy that picked you up sometimes but now I see it’s something else”

You blush, you didn’t know you’d been so transparent before about how mundane your life would feel but apparently you’d been detached enough for people to notice. For a while, you’d forgotten that life didn’t have to be perfect to be happy. You didn’t have to be doing big successful things to say that you were living a meaningful life. Your life was meaningful from the moment you were born. You don’t know why it took so long and so many people helping you to finally realize it but you were glad you were finally here. And you were grateful.

Grateful for your mother for never being disappointed in you, your therapist for not giving up on you, Nat for making you want to try new things, Leon for helping you go to more places, and now grateful to your coworker turned best friend for helping you meet new people (and your hero).

Now thanks to everyone you’ve met you could be grateful for yourself. God you did NoT need to cry right now but your face was already getting warm with emotion. 

“I have been happy. I’ve been so happy it’s crazy. I didn’t know if I was ever going to get myself back out there after-” You hiccup and your friend rubs your shoulder reassuringly, nodding in understanding. 

“I know I haven’t known you long but I’m proud of you, Y/n” Her words make the tears you were trying so hard to hold back burst out and she quickly pulls you into a hug, caressing your back. The two of you stay that way for a while, a million things being said in the silence. After a while you pull back and wipe your eyes, a wet laugh escaping. 

“Alright alright, enough of this. Let’s go pick my outfit for my date.” Your friend laughs with you and clinks her wine glass against yours, following you to your bedroom closet.

~~~~

Thursday rolls around and you’re torn between excitement and nerves. Your stomach rolls every time you think about tomorrow and every time the clock ticks by another hour. Your friend had helped you pick a cute but casual outfit and gave you a pep talk about how hot you were and how lucky Nat was to get to meet you. 

The thought of her has you texting her early that morning, eager to see if she’s as nervous as you.

       Nat🔪:

Y/n🍦:

Good luck with your meeting!

She doesn’t respond immediately and you figure she’s already in her meeting so you go about your morning getting ready for work and texting your mother to reassure her that you were, in fact, still alive since she checked in yesterday.

You make quick work of a small breakfast and you’re out of the door and on the subway before you know it. When there’s still no message from Nat you scroll idly through Instagram until you arrive at your stop.

Work is as it always is, it’s made a little less hard these days because of your friends' presence but before you know it your lunch break is rolling around, and when you open your phone between bites of food your brows furrow in confusion. Your little message bubble is still the last thing on the screen but right underneath it are four little gray letters ‘seen’.

If it were anyone else you wouldn’t have been worried, but Nat hadn’t left you on seen for months since the two of you became closer. And considering how important tomorrow was for you it put you more than a little on edge. 

You try to shake your head, maybe you were being irrational? She could be busy or just left her phone open somewhere. Not everything is as big of a deal as you make it out to be but… there’s anxiety forming in the pit of your stomach.

Your phone alarm goes off signaling the end of your lunch break and you go back to work with a new unease in your gut. You’d wait until the end of the day to really start worrying. Nat would bail on you, would she? Both of you wanted this…right? Have you been reading things wrong?

Your coworker notices your discomfort and asks if you're okay but you just shake your head with a smile. It could be nothing.

 It was probably nothing.

Please let it be nothing.

~~~~~

When you finally make it home after a long anxiety-filled day your heart leaps in hopeful anticipation when you see Nat’s name pop up on your home screen, only for it to sink to the bottom of your stomach when you read her only message

Nat🔪:

I’m sorry.

Pt.25

A/n: Pls don’t hate me- I promise this hurt me to write as much as it hurt you to read ~Starry

---Taglist--

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[bishopsbeloved]

the art of falling in love (part five)

natasha romanoff x fem reader

best friend!yelena belova, aroace!yelena belova, internalised homophobia, found family trope, coming of age, angst, fluff (eventual happy ending)

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five (16.3k words) | epilogue

read this fic on ao3!

Death was first explained to you and Yelena when you were six; Yelena’s favourite of her mother’s pigs passed away, and you were both called in from playing outside to be sat down gravely.

“Girls… Wilbur the piggy has, ah, passed away,” Alexi told you. You stared back at him blankly.

“Do you know what that means?” added Melina more gently.

“Uh… Peter from class said his mom and dad passed away,” Yelena offered after a few moments. “And it means that, like, he can’t see them ever again, so he lives with his aunt now.”

“Yes!” said Alexi enthusiastically, before catching himself and adding in a much more solemn tone, “I mean, ah, yes… very sad. Not good.”

Melina looked at him sternly and he fell silent. “You are right, Yelena. When someone passes away, it means they are no longer with us.”

“Like when you go to the store?”

“No. When I go to the store I am always coming back, да? Passing away is permanent, and it means you never see them again.”

“Oh. But I like Wilbur,” said Yelena sadly, and you nodded in agreement.

“That is what makes life all the more precious,” Melina told you gently. “You never know when someone may pass away — only that everybody will, someday. So you must enjoy the time you have with them, my darlings, and never take it for granted.”

As the years went on and the two of you began to understand what death actually means, that first introduction to it became somewhat of a running joke between you and Yelena (because how else can humans deal with such a terrifying concept as death? You can choose to either laugh or cry, and Yelena will always choose to laugh); the idea of someone passing away will often be referred to as going to the store. For example, Alexi is probably the sole man responsible for the entirety of Ohio state’s roadkill — neither you nor Yelena can remember a car journey with him in the wheel during which some unfortunate creature has not stumbled into his path and suffered fatally for that mistake. Every time it happens, without fail, Yelena will turn around eagerly in her seat or poke her head out of the window and assess the damage before gravely announcing, “That one is definitely not coming back from store.”

It’s a euphemism that can be used in any situation — and often is, actually. Whenever the TV signal packs up (as it often does in such a rural town as your own) and the Kardashians begin to cut out awkwardly, Yelena will throw down the remote and shout in frustration “Ma! The fork thingy on the roof has gone store again,” and Melina will know exactly what she means. Or whenever your history teacher Mr Fury hobbles into class, who is so old he looks like he’s witnessed half the events he teaches you, Yelena will nudge you and whisper “he is close to store’s doorstep now, eh?” Et cetera, et cetera. The phrase gets used often.

You feel silly for your mind wandering to those words, given the circumstances. But all you can think of right now is your overwhelming hopes and prayers that Liho has not gone to the store — and that neither has your bond with Yelena. As for Natasha… well, recent times have been a cruel wake-up call.

It’s been a few hours since Melina left with the cat, and the only text you’ve gotten from her since then says cat in surgery now. Yelena has barricaded herself in your shared room — her room now, you think miserably to yourself. You have never, ever seen her so upset, not in your whole life. You don’t think you’ve ever even argued with her, outside of your usual half-hearted play wrestles. But now she’s shouted at you through your thick heavy door, a solid wall between you, putting miles between the two of you but still not enough distance to lessen the brutality of the words she hurls at you from the other side of it. Words you can’t think of for too long or tears will begin to brim in your eyes all over again. Words which you know you deserve, but ones you never thought you’d hear your best friend say to you.

Now you sit uncomfortably stiff on the couch, feeling like a stranger in the home you’ve grown up in, the silence threatening to suffocate you. You feel almost like a prisoner in your body, unable to move as you relieve the last few hours over and over in your head. There’s no doubt in your mind that Yelena is right. You are an awful person. If you weren’t, if you were better, maybe Natasha would still want you, instead of casting you aside once you began to bore her. Maybe if you were better you’d have been sensible or strong enough to not sneak around with her at all. But you’re not, and now you’ve broken apart a family you weren’t even worthy of in the first place.

Natasha is sat in the armchair opposite you, legs curled beneath her, nursing her bloody nose. Her gaze has been fixed on you for the indeterminable amount of time you’ve both been sat here, but you are too exhausted to care. For once, you have much, much bigger problems than her feelings.

Eventually, she speaks, more subdued than usual. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Your voice doesn’t sound like yours. It’s somewhere else, someone else��s, far away.

“For…” She hesitates. Like there’s something she doesn’t want to say out loud. “For not, uh. For treating you badly.”

Well, that’s not really what you expected her to say.

Your silence prompts her to flounder further. “I just— I don’t, well, I can’t really explain a lot, but I— I know I messed up. You deserved better. And I’m sorry.”

And you’re so done with her, and so little of yourself is left now that you simply stand up and walk away.

Natasha doesn’t even call after you, just kind of makes this sad and defeated little noise that makes your heart hurt. You know it would just ache even more if you turned around again, though. So you don’t. You walk the hall for a few aimless moments before your feet carry you to the only person currently home who you still have a dependable relationship with — Alexi.

His workshop, as he calls it, is adjoined to the kitchen; a tiny wooden door which he has to bend himself double to fit through, leading to the garage. This has been his space for as long as you can remember. You have no idea how he moves with such ease through it when it’s like a maze to you — huge chunks of greasy half-repaired machinery everywhere, cluttered workbenches and racks of tools and shelves of liquids labelled in his indecipherable Russian scrawl. He often has the tiny tin portable perched on a shelf squeaking out radio shows in his mothertongue which he guffaws merrily at, but as you enter now the room is peacefully quiet, save for Alexi’s disjointed hums of a thousand songs in one and the little chink noises the piece of metal he’s working on makes every time he hits it, slowly bending it into shape.

“Ah, привет! Good evening, daughter,” he says cheerfully, without even turning around as you creep up barefoot behind him. He doesn’t say anything more, and neither do you, for a while; you opt to simply sink down onto one of the wooden stools littered about the place and watch Alexi absently while he works. This doesn’t faze him at all. On the occasions where Yelena was busy without you as a kid, you would do this very thing. Alexi would simply chuckle at you and ruffle your hair with a large bearish hand, oftentimes leaving behind little smudges of black motor oil in it. You’re still in your prom outfit, though, with your hair done up intricately, so tonight he stops himself in time.

“Do you think Liho will be okay?” you ask after a while, in a very small voice.

“Oh, да,” he replies, without hesitation. Even with his back to you as he tinkers busily you can hear the sincerity in his tone. “Yes, yes. Think of what that kitty has been through already, eh? When you found him he was doing worse than that. He is, uh, tough meat. A fighter.”

Seeing Alexi so placid and unshaken in the face of tonight’s events is strangely calming and you nod, soothed by his words, before another thought strikes you. “Oh… but the vet bills.”

Alexi lets out a low but not unkind laugh. “Ah, не будь глупым, you worry so much. We will figure those out. Melina is a sly fox, has money tucked away in hidey-holes, eh?”

“But— I mean —” You twitch uncomfortably, and Alexi seems to finally cotton onto what it is that you’re really worried about. He sets down his tools with his usual gentleness, which never fails to look foreign on such a giant of a man, and turns to look at you.

“You are member of this family,” he tells you. “No matter what Yelena say. She is angry, sure, but it will blow over, eh? You love the silly little fur man, and we do too. So if these bills will help him of course we will pay it. There is no need for worry.”

“But I ruined everything,” you say quietly.

He laughs again. “Nonsense. You have not ruined any of the things, голубка.”

“But… your date night. And— Natasha,” you hiccup.

“We have date nights all the time, подсолнух, there will be others. And Natasha… well, me and your mama are knowing this for long time. Yelena will be coming round also, eventually. We will figure this all out, we are a family. She is your sister. All of the things will be okay. None of them are ruined.”

And you can’t help but cry at that, at his earnest sincerity, his certainty that things will work out — and because you love him, and he is your family. You tell him so through choked sobs, and he just looks at you softly before wrapping you into a petrol-scented bear hug, prom outfit be damned.

Maybe he’s right. Maybe everything will be okay.

Yelena sinks into another episode over the following days. She does nothing much but sit, a vacant look in her eyes, devoid of any feeling, and stare for hours at a time as though seeing something that the rest of you cannot. She has no words left to give, and drifts around on autopilot, only performing basic functional tasks when prompted to — as if they’re an afterthought. Seeing her like this wracks you with guilt in a way none of her episodes have before, because for the first time you know with a crushing certainty that this is because of you. You offer countless times to return to your parents’ house across the road, the residents of which you haven’t conversed with in months, but Alexi and Melina dismiss this as if it’s the silliest idea in the world.

“You are family,” Melina tells you firmly. “Fights happen, да? You stay.”

Even if you’re still welcome in the house you’re certainly not welcome in your usual room. Natasha offers to put you up in hers but drops this very quickly after the look that you give her, so instead a section of the loft is cleared for you. You and Alexi spend a merry Sunday together in his workshop assembling a bedframe for your new space, only to discover once you’ve made it upstairs that it’s actually too large to fit through the attic hatch, so you have to take it to bits to get it up there and then rebuild it all over again. (It doesn’t really matter though, because Alexi is so bemused by the whole thing and his own oversights that it’s impossible to be frustrated at the setback. He just grins so goofily.) When Yelena is in the shower you sneak back into her room to gather as many of your belongings as you can and begin to turn the little space into yours. Melina brings home some fairy lights from the store, you order some posters online and within a week or so you’ve organised yourself a very cozy nest amongst the mess of the loft.

Even now you’ve moved in, over half of the room is still piled high with boxes of various things and piles of junk and the distinct, cloth-draped, dust-gathering shapes of Alexi’s abandoned projects (which he insists on keeping on the basis that he might need them someday, much to Melina’s theatrical chagrin). The various artefacts throughout the room create a kind of ever-changing maze, and you remember playing up here with Yelena when the two of you were kids and it was too cold to play outside — for you, anyway, being someone who’s grown up in a relatively warm American state. To this day Yelena often scorns you for your inability to tolerate any kind of cold, and reminds you of the climates the rest of the family has lived in.

Thinking of her makes your heart involuntarily twinge, and you wince, standing from your perch on the end of your new bed in the vain hopes of shaking it off. As you do so something in the opposite corner of the room catches your eye; the neat pile of scrapbooks Melina worked on for years when you were kids. “I’m going full American mama,” she would quip, spending hours of an evening painstakingly prettying the pages laden with pictures that Alexi had taken throughout the day. You find yourself warmed by these memories, and drift over to the pile of books, settling before it. The newest scrapbooks are naturally at the top, so you shuffle through the pile until you reach the very first scrapbook Mama Melina ever made, which begins the day Yelena came home. You settle down comfortably on the floor, cross-legged like you’re a kid again, and begin to flip through its pages; the very first are adorned with pictures of Melina and Alexi in their youth, and then on their wedding day. After that is the day Yelena came home, absolutely unfazed by this strange new country and its drawling people. Every single photo has the date it was taken written beneath it in perfect cursive, and through the timeline shown you can see that it was barely two weeks into Yelena’s residency here before you and her properly met, and became firm friends. Things progress like that for two years, from when you were five until when you were seven; regular entries are made in the scrapbooks documenting road trips and school plays and lost teeth, all of which you smile upon fondly.

Halfway through the third scrapbook, Natasha comes home. You recognise one of the many pictures documenting this milestone as one that hangs large and framed with pride downstairs above the fire; a stunned, still blue-haired Natalia swathed in thermals, huddled in the corner of Alexi’s rickety old fighter jet on the journey back from the motherland, beaming widely up at whoever’s taking the photo. Despite the fact that you see it every day, seeing it alongside so many others in which she’s so bewildered but so, so happy makes your heart feel so strongly that you have to flip ahead.

You pore over the pages of the main scrapbooks with interest for a while longer, until the main timeline ends and divulges into you, Yelena and Natasha each having your own dedicated scrapbooks. You have no interest in studying your own baby photos, and given all that’s going on reliving Yelena’s would be unbearable right now, so instead you find yourself picking up Natasha’s, and pushing the others aside.

Seeing her grow up before your eyes like this is surreal. In reality you were by her side every day, and most of these changes happen so gradually that you barely even noticed them, but here are immortalised stills from throughout the years which show how she’s grown. When she first came home she hadn’t had her growth spurt yet, and still had her gentle Russian lilt which the rest of her family retains to this day. As she starts attending public school and socialising with her peers you can see that something changes very hastily within her; a light kind of fades from her eyes. The blue is bleached from her hair, and as the red fades back in its place she seems to fade a little too — into the quiet, observant Natasha that you know today. She doesn’t seem unhappy, as such, but… uncertain, and it dredges up a kind of sadness in your chest that forces you to push the book away, lest the tears in your eyes follow through with their threat to overspill.

You’ve always seen Natasha as someone so secure and sure of herself — so much so that she doesn’t feel the need to speak over anyone else in the room in order to get her opinions across. When she does speak it’s usually a quick, cutting remark that earns laughs and leaves everyone eager to hear more out of her. When she walks into a room heads turn to look at her, no matter where she goes. She knows that. She’s someone worth paying attention to. It’s never occurred to you, not once in your life, that her behaviours aren’t the result of something different. But looking at these pictures has stirred up something in you which you can’t quite describe. A deep sadness at the fact that you’ve probably never known her at all, aside from the parts of the real her that have slipped through the cracks; her Russian accent and sleepy kisses first thing in the morning, her goodnight texts, the way she doesn’t need to ask your order at drive-thrus or coffee shops, the notes she’d leave under your pillow. That’s Natasha. Not whoever this is who’s pushed you away. Not this girl who has bleached the childhood from her hair and taught herself how to be from another place.

You pile the scrapbooks back in the neat and tidy order in which you found them and crawl back to your bed, flopping into it, utterly emotionally exhausted by this trip down memory lane. You think it’s dark outside… you’re certainly tired enough to rest now, anyway, and you do; drifting in and out of an uneasy slumber, visited by vague and twisted recollections from your childhood which disappear upon your waking again, before you can grasp them properly, like the sand of your youth slipping through your fingers.

Mama Melina is a woman of science. She’s always considered herself a grounded person. She doesn’t concern herself with what she doesn’t understand, or care for (namely whatever she cannot see for certain with her own two eyes) to the extent that this is the path her career has taken, and is now what feeds her children. She is, objectively, an intellectual woman. Her analytical methods of thinking have led to scientific breakthroughs in her area of expertise, and she is renowned as an expert at her job. She did not reach this point through belief in the spiritual, or abstract. Hell, being raised in an orphanage herself, she didn’t even really believe in true romantic love until Alexi bore his whole earnest heart to her.

One day, when you were young, you came home from school and, with frightening nonchalance, came home and asked if one of your classmates had been correct in saying that people who kissed others of the same gender were hell-headed sinners. Melina abruptly halted her mundane household task and sat you down, taking one of your hands in hers.

“Sin is a fairytale,” she told you, as delicately as she could. “Nobody knows for certain whether sin or God or heaven or hell are real. To believe that is a choice, a leap of faith which certain people make. But all we know for certain is what’s here now, да? Like I am real, you are real,” she cupped your little face between her warm hands and squeezed gently, making you wrinkle your nose and wriggle happily, “Baba and Yelena are real. But sin is thing you choose to believe in. It is made up stories to make us feel better about death but it does not matter, малыш. What matters is what we do now, when we are alive, not what we do to secure a place in an afterlife that might not exist, eh? We are kind to each other now while we live because we know it to be true that we’re alive. To tell someone else who to kiss was wrong and unkind of that boy at school. Worry about the afterlife once you get there, да? If you want to kiss girls, kiss girls. No one who is kind or worth your time will care.”

She kissed the top of your head before standing back up and returning to her cleaning. No more words were exchanged on the prospect, but from that day onward it has appeared to be common knowledge in the household that you like girls, and that Melina is not a fan of religion justifying bigotry.

In all honesty, she is not a fan of anything that’s not an irrefutable truth. Science is her preferred method of explanation for any problem that may occur. But as her relationship with Alexi has blossomed, and then in turn the ones she shares with her daughters too, she’s learned that facts and feelings do not have to be mutually exclusive. Some of the complexities of the human mind are far beyond her understanding, or indeed any of us — and yet this is a truth which ought to be embraced, not feared. The greatest joys in Melina’s life are its mysteries.

And so Mama Melina has never questioned the dynamic you and Natasha share; at least to her, it’s seemed crystal clear since day one that the two of you harbour affections for one another — admittedly for reasons beyond her comprehension, but it’s nonetheless undeniable to anyone who knows you like she does. She’s watched you grow all of your lives, delicately inching closer to one another like two flowers craning their necks to reach the sun. Melina long ago accepted she’ll never in this lifetime know what higher power reigns as a puppeteer over her, or understand the complexities of love, but she knows better than to pretend as if some things in this world aren’t inexplicably and cosmically connected. You and Natasha only prove this point. If she looks hard enough, Melina can see the red thread that runs from your body to her daughter’s.

Alexi, by far the romantic, wholeheartedly agrees with her, which only furthers Melina’s convictions (he would know better than her, she reasons) — although admittedly the events of the last few months have blindsided the both of them. Melina appears to be more concerned by it than her husband, though; so much so that one night she actually sits him down to ask if he even knows what’s going on, and why there’s this big gaping gulf between her daughters, tearing her family apart.

Alexi just guffaws, so full of mirth that Melina is startled. “Ah Боже мой, my love. Do not be silly, I would have to be blind to miss those daggers over dinner, no? No, do not worry, I’m understand. But love is not easy, ah? Its course has never run so smooth. Remember when I first asked out you? You were so… skittish, like little kitten, for weeks,” he recalls with shining eyes. “And look where we ended up now, ah? These are silly babies. They’ll make mistakes. They need the time that you did.”

His words soothe her, in the way that they always do. She relaxes into his comforting embrace with the knowledge that even if she’s the intellectual (and financial) breadwinner in this relationship, Alexi always knows what to say in the face of the heart’s unpredictability. Maybe he is right. Maybe everyone just needs some time.

So, despite her doubts, time is what Melina gives.

Two weeks after that conversation, Liho comes home. His fur is patchy where it’s been shorn off and started to grow back again, and one of his legs is still bound tightly, but he’s back and he’s yours. He leaps happily into your arms when he sees you (despite the yelp of alarm Melina makes) and it’s like he never left. Yelena comes the closest to you that she’s been in weeks to pet his head while he’s curled up against your chest, and she even allows a smile to escape. You can’t help but smile back, like the beginning of spring after a long harsh winter, hope blossoming in your chest once again.

In the time that it’s taken him to come home, other things have happened too. Natasha’s nose, displaced by the punch Yelena successfully laid on her, heals quickly. Your relationship does not. Something unspoken festers between the two of you, hardening and shrinking and blackening into a sickening nothingness. You can’t look at her now without the taste of something bitter filling your mouth — and yet that boiling hot liquid rage still fills your chest when you think of her with someone else. How is it possible to love someone so much but hate them at the same time? You wish, more than anything, that none of this happened. You wish she would just let you love her without having to ruin it for the both of you.

It’s such an indescribably lonely feeling that the two of you are like this now, when only a short time ago the two of you bore open hearts to one another — well, you gave yours to Natasha, anyway. The more you think about it the less of her you have ever known. She’s a stranger to you. Quite a few times since prom night she’s tried to speak to you — offering another half-assed apology, no doubt — but you’ve only ever shut her down. What is there left to say? Nothing that you want to hear, for sure.

(And maybe the things that still hang heavy in the air between you are better left unsaid.)

A few days after Liho comes home you’re laid on your bed in the attic, with your baby boy himself curled comfortably on your chest, purring away merrily as you scratch at his head. There’s some soft music on in the background but neither of you are really doing much. You’re just trying to enjoy his company, (and he’s evidently enjoying yours,) now that you know not to take it for granted.

The scare you’ve had with him has shifted your perspective on a lot, actually — it’s been a rude but much-needed wake up call. Yelena, just like Liho, is your family, and you want to make up with her. Who knows how long either of you have left, or what might happen?

Yes, you absolutely want to be her sister again. You’re just not sure where to even start.

The knock that comes at your door is unexpected, though, and only more unexpected when you see who your mystery visitor actually is. Yelena stands in your doorway, eyes fixed on Liho on your chest. He mews happily when he sees her.

“Кот,” she says hoarsely, holding out her arms and making grabby hands. You blink, stunned for a moment at the fact that she is talking at all, let alone talking to you. This would usually be a good sign, one that she’s coming back into herself, but these naturally are unprecedented circumstances, and you can’t really be certain what anything means anymore.

Yelena steps forward, jerking you out of your trance; you shoot to your feet and kiss Liho on the forehead before holding him out to her with your hands beneath his armpits so that his legs dangle underneath him, rendering him comically long and thin. Lena scoops him up and curls him against her chest; he purrs contentedly and her eyes crinkle in quiet gratitude before she leaves, humming her song to herself.

You almost call out to her, but your body freezes. The door closes behind her you scold yourself for not reaching out, for trying to close this rift between you, but maybe you’ve not given her long enough yet.

What Yelena needs is time, you know. Her whole world has been turned upside down and she has to rebuild it piece by piece. But how much time is enough?

Well, as it turns out, you won’t have to wait much longer.

It’s the last week of school, just over five weeks now since your catastrophic prom night, and you’ve just walked out of your last final. Sam Wilson is waiting for you outside the doors with your favourite flavour of popsicle in his hand, and is already busily consuming his own. When he spots you he waves a broad hand merrily, and you make your way over to him.

“I’m sure you aced it, squirt,” he says before you can even open your mouth, and offers you the popsicle. Unfortunately you’re all too familiar to Ohio’s stifling summer air, making every thought or movement damp and groggy. You accept it gratefully.

Your core friendship group, which you’ve been in for years now, has been pretty turbulent since things went down between you and Yelena. Pairing that with finals and early graduations, you can feel a permanent shift occurring, and it’s frightening. Everyone’s still making  effort to maintain contact with you, but this change on top of everything else has you feeling like you’re drowning when you think too long about it.  It seems like you never know what are the golden days until they’re gone. (You got twelve golden years with Yelena, but is that where it ends? Will she ever tolerate your presence in her life again?)

Someone who you couldn’t be more grateful for throughout all of this is Sam. One day not long after everything happened you came to him crying, and confessed everything. He patted your back with an aura of awkward concern until your sobs subsided, at which point all he had to offer was, “Huh. Well, I guess that explains why prom night went to shit.”

You can’t help but admire the way that he takes everything in his stride. Nothing fazes him. It’s welcome after spending so long around Natasha, who’s constantly on edge, worried someone else might see her with you. Sam is so unbothered, just being in his presence is calming. He’s become a good and valued friend to you.

“That was your last final,” he reminds you, bringing you back to the present moment. “You’re free now for the whole summer.”

“Oh fuck yeah, man,” you say as the realisation dawns on you.

“How’d you want to celebrate?”

You look up at him and a toothy grin takes root on his face as he realises what you’re about to say.

“Arcade,” you say and he nods fervently in agreement. In recent times you’ve become its most loyal patrons; you retreat there often after classes, whether it’s to recuperate from a bad day or celebrate a good one. Today, thankfully, appears to be the latter.

“Arcade,” he repeats happily, and the two of you amble off out of the school gates and down the hill toward the centre of town, where the Boulevard housing the arcade is located. You chat happily for a little while, about your plans for the summer and what you might do together.

“And, uh… any updates on your… anything?” he asks delicately. It’s a vague question but of course you know what he means.

“Not really.” You deflate a little. “I’m not sure Lena wants me around anymore, to be honest.”

“I’m sure she does,” Sam consoles with a startling certainty. “Seriously. What about Natasha?”

You just shake your head. “I don’t want to… I can’t. Not until Lena…”

“Gives you the okay,” he nods understandingly.

“Yeah, I guess. But until she’s sorry, too. She was really mean,” you say quietly.

“Yeah, I get that. It’ll be okay, man.”

You’re not so sure about that, but before you can express this you cross the road and the two of you have reached the arcade, where your troubles are promptly forgotten.

Sam’s words are very quickly proven correct, though — within only a few hours. You arrive home from your arcade trip with some silly winnings tucked under your arm and a smile on your face. It is Friday night, date night for Melina and Alexi, so a car is missing from the driveway and the kitchen is empty as you enter.

Perfect, you think to yourself, and begin to fix yourself some food. These days you’re very careful not to venture into the communal areas of the house unless you’re sure you won’t be treading on anyone else’s toes. You kind of feel like a burden as it is — you’re not a proper part of this family anyway, not in the way that everyone else is — and you don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable in their own home. So you’ve moved bedrooms and now you meticulously strategise what times you’ll make an expedition down to the kitchen. (Sometimes, when you’ve not had a chance to eat yet, you’ll open your bedroom door to a plate of chocolate chip pancakes in front of you. Everyone in the house denies knowledge when asked but you have your suspicions of who’s behind it.)

Sometimes you think about moving back to the place where you were born, but you’re not sure if you could stomach that. That feels like a forever choice. There’s no going back from that.

Liho pads up to you, excited that you’re home and even more excited that you’re making food. Unable to help yourself, you indulge him with some chin scratches and scraps. Life’s too short, you say. Why shouldn’t you make a fuss of your boy?

He winds himself around your legs contentedly while you cook. It is just you and him and school has finished and you have the whole summer to do what you want, and you are cooking, and for the first time in a while you are able to shut off and experience a moment of complete peace.

Naturally, with the trajectory of your life at the minute, this peace does not last long.

“Is Sam Wilson your new best friend?” says a cool voice behind you. You actually yelp in alarm, and very ungracefully fumble with the piping hot utensils you’re using, burning your hand in the process. Liho hisses, and you do too, making a beeline for the sink.

“Don’t sneak up on me like that,” you mutter half-heartedly. Yelena, now moving to stand fully in the light, just makes a noise in the back of her throat as she opens the cupboard above your head and reaches for the first-aid kit. Her face is carefully unbothered.

“I only asked a question,” she says, moving your food off of the heat. Liho claws at your ankles worriedly. You struggle to process Yelena’s words, much less the fact that she is talking to you. Did you blink and miss a chapter?

“Uh,” you rub at the back of your neck with your hand not under running water, “n-no. No, he’s not my new best friend. I don’t,” your voice drops, and you look away, “I don’t think I have one anymore.”

“You do,” she informs you matter-of-factly, hopping up onto the counter beside you and swinging her legs while you continue to bathe your hand. “If you still want one. But she is very mad at you.”

Your voice catches in your throat.

“She does love you,” Lena continues, “but she is wondering why you did things in the way you did.”

There’s a moment of quiet. You gather your thoughts. You weren’t expecting to have this talk tonight.

“I was scared,” you tell her.

“Of what?”

“Of,” you gesture between the two of you, “this. Of making things bad. I always figured it would be like a,” you tilt your head back to keep from crying, because now would be a stupid time to cry, “a stupid schoolgirl crush, you know? She never even spoke to me, I was just her little sister’s dumb best friend, but then things happened and it was so fast and I was so scared. And I wanted to tell you but she… didn’t. She only wanted me when no one else could see. I guess I hoped that she would — come around, eventually, and then I wouldn’t be lying anymore.” You’re heaving with the effort to not cry. “I was wrong.”

“All this time the mystery girl was treating you like shit, you could have told me who it was,” Yelena implores. “I love my sister but she makes me sad also. She can be a dick, absolutely. She’s the worst. Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

“She’s your family,” you choke. “I couldn’t cause a— a rift or a problem like that. And what if you believed her over me? And it kept getting worse, and —”

“Сестра,” she leans over, cupping your damp face between her hands and forcing you to look at her, “I would always believe you. Always. Never before have you given reason to not.”

You nod tearfully, and she lets go. The only noise is the running water for a few moments.

“That is probably long enough under tap,” Lena murmurs, turning it off and taking your injured hand in her lap. Opening the first aid kit, she begins to dress the burn. “I am sorry for making you jump.”

“I am sorry for everything else,” you reply honestly. “I was stupid.”

“Yes,” she agrees bluntly. Then, “Natalia was stupider.” When you look up in open surprise, she rolls her eyes. “Close your mouth, you will catch flies. Of course she was stupid, she has fumbled so hard. You,” she pinches your cheek affectionately, “are a catch. I am not even into all of this, but if I was a dater we would be together and I would treat you like four million times better than she does.”

“You already do,” you say quietly, looking down at your hand in her lap as she continues to bandage it.

“Oh absolutely, I am the best.”

Another, much longer, pause. She finishes wrapping your hand, and pats it three times to notify you that she’s done, the exact same way that Mama Melina does. The action makes your heart swell and eyes fill with unexpected tears.

“Do you know why I was so upset by all of it?” she asks unexpectedly. You blink in surprise. This feels like a trick question.

“Because… I lied?”

“Because you picked Natasha over me,” she tells you.

“No I didn’t— what?”

“Yes, you did,” she says, and she’s a little choked all of a sudden. “All of my life Natasha has been the one who everyone looks at first. She is the special one. You are the only one I had first, who was mine. My близнец. And then I find out that for months you have been lying and picking her over me instead. When she is mean, she is so mean sometimes, yes I love her but she is not much like when we were kids anymore, she is so mean. But everyone likes her more than me. Even you.” She turns away.

“No, no I don’t,” you rush to her side, unable to help it now, scooping her close to you. “No I don’t. I was wrong, and I’m sorry. It was stupid to think she’d ever love me, I shouldn’t have— and I shouldn’t have left you out of it. I think I was trying to protect you? I don’t know. You’re always the one to protect me and punch everyone else, I think I was trying to stop you from getting hurt. And her? But it was dumb. Very dumb.”

“Very, very dumb,” Yelena agrees.

“The dumbest.”

“You have broken world record, кролик.”

You laugh a little tearfully, and while Yelena’s arms are wrapped around you she feels it throughout her body. She revels in the feeling of you holding her and loving her again, after the longest time.

“So we are back from the store?” she asks hopefully after a moment. It takes you a moment to process what she means.

“Oh,” you laugh, “we were never there. You will always be my favourite person, Yelena Belova-Shostakov.”

“Okay.” She exhales in relief. “Good. Just, because — well, you know, we have not spoke in so long and you didn’t think you had a best friend, and—”

“No— what? No,” you frown, “that was me giving you space to process and heal. I wasn’t sure you’d want me back,” you laugh. “I wasn’t ignoring you. I promise.”

“I will always want you back,” she says in a small, content voice. “I will always want you home. With me. Not at store.”

“Not at the store,” you repeat.

And just like that, you have your best friend again.

One familial bond repaired doesn’t mean all of them, though — and Yelena’s relationship with her sister has been patchy recently, to put it mildly. In your eyes it’s a plus that they haven’t outright fistfought in the way that they absolutely would if they were any younger, but Mama Melina doesn’t seem to see things that way.

A few days after you and Yelena make up, the two of you along with your parents are sat around the dinner table. At the very least Melina is able to fuss over her twins again, and Alexi is able to once again boom “here comes trouble” whenever the two of you enter a room together. They both take great pleasure in it,  much to Yelena’s entertainment and your endearment. You love your parents.

The conversation halts when the front door slams, though. Natasha appears in the kitchen doorway for a second before processing the scene in front of her and slowly backing away, back out of sight.

“What is this about?” Alexi calls after her through a mouthful of food. “Come eat, love.”

There is no response, only footsteps on the stairs.

“Our daughters hate each other,” Melina sighs heavily. When you and Yelena look up at her, she clarifies, “no, not you two. You and Natasha.” She pinches Lena’s cheek.

“We do not hate each other,” Yelena says placidly, much to everyone’s surprise. “I am just angry at her. We will be fine.”

Natasha, who is still within earshot at the top of the stairs, feels her heart skip a beat at this and thinks to herself that just maybe Yelena is ready to be receptive to her attempts at reconnection. Her only issue is she has no idea how to facilitate it. She’s done all the things she can think of, aside from straight up cornering her younger sister — she leaves offerings of food at her door and texts  her when the Kardashians are on the TV — but all of it has been treated with nonchalance that’s left her bewildered as to what her next step should be.

Yelena’s got her covered, though.

It’s her turn to strike, she knows, and again she chooses to do it when her sister will least expect it. Nat traipses home late one night, exhausted from cheer practice that overran. (Their next game is the last of the season, and her last cheer match ever considering she’s graduating this summer, so this semester’s team captain Sharon is determined they go out with a bang — even if that bang is a cheerleader toppling from the pyramid out of sheer exhaustion.) She mumbles her greetings and goodnights to Melina and Alexi, who are huddled around a decanter of whiskey in the study with Liho, and stumbles upstairs. All the lights are off up here, and she figures you and Yelena are probably settling down for the night. With a long, wistful look up the spiral staircase towards your firmly closed door, she trudges into her own (pitch-black) room. When she flicks on the light, though, she shrieks in horror. Sat expectantly at the foot of her bed is a long-limbed and blonde-headed figure, with hands folded neatly in its lap.

“Good evening, сестра,” greets the figure, sometimes known as Yelena Belova, with vaguely ominous nonchalance.

Natasha leans back against the door and closes her eyes in a desperate attempt to revert her heart rate to normal. Her first instinct as an older sister is to yell at her to get the fuck out, but in light of recent events this probably wouldn’t be the wisest of choices. Instead, she clamps her mouth tightly shut as she attempts to regain herself.

“I don’t,” she pants after a moment, “I haven’t— what? Hi. What?”

“You should really get a better lock,” Yelena says amusedly. “Very easy to pick.”

“You don’t have to break in,” Natasha grumbles, letting her bag slide to the floor and flopping backwards onto the bed. “Just knock.”

“No fun.” Yelena pokes Nat’s thigh with her toe just like she would when they were kids and for a moment they’re both young again. But she blinks, and the moment is gone, and now they’re two almost-adults with an entire universe between them.

Natasha just groans and flops back to stare up at her ceiling. A few years back you and Yelena helped her paint it blue and now it looks like the sky. It makes her smile when she’s sad sometimes. Yelena joins her, and the two cloudgaze for a moment.

“Why are you in my room?” Natasha asks quietly.

“To annoy you,” Lena quips.

“Success.”

“And to talk,” she continues.

“Also success. We are talking.”

The blonde lunges for her, and Natasha rolls away playfully. “No, I’m serious. Real talking.”

“Alright, I’m all ears.” Nat puts her hands behind her ears and pushes them forward to emphasise her point — again, like they would when they were kids.

“I want to know what you were intending when you started dating Y/N,” Yelena says, and Nat’s stomach drops. She knew this was coming, she knew this was where the conversation would lead, but she was still hoping to stall it for as long as possible just for the joy that her sister is talking to her again. The excitement is short-lived, though.

“We were never dating,” she reminds her quietly.

“Why not?”

The bluntness of the question makes Natasha stop short.

“Because it just, didn’t work out like that, I guess,” she tries. Yelena remains eerily stony.

“It’s not nice to lie to your baby sister, Natalia.”

Natasha deflates. “Because w— because I’m a fucking idiot. I don’t know what you want me to say. I know I messed up.”

“Step one is awareness,” Yelena nods sagely, while Nat grits her teeth. “So what are you going to do about it?”

She shrugs. “Graduate, and leave town, I guess. You and Y/N are twins again now, and I caused all these problems, so once I leave things should be fixed.”

“Untrue and false,” the blonde interrupts sharply. “That is lie. Y/N/N is crushed. This will not magically be fix if you take off for college.”

“But it will help,” Natasha insists.

“No it won’t,” Yelena pinches the bridge of her nose in frustration, “oh my god, how are you so stupid. She is in love with you, and she is so patient with you, she is not even angry. Which I would be, by the way, but she’s not. She’s only sure you don’t want her.”

“Huh? But I do.”

“No, like wanting her,” Yelena says gently. “As a whole. Like… unity, ah? Влюбленный. She feels so not good enough for you, and every day you are prove her right. You take only what you want from her and leave the rest. That is not what love is. She feels not loved by you, and that you only like her for the things she can offer you.”

“Oh. But I didn’t mean to,” Natasha says tearfully. Suddenly she is very small, and she draws her knees up to her chest. “I was only… Lena, маленький, I didn’t know what to do.”

“The answer seems pretty simple,” the blonde observes astutely, “all you had to do was either tell her you love her and want to be with her, or tell her it is over. You can’t keep having things in your way forever. She has feelings too, and the relationship cannot be on just your terms. She is not a doll, or toy.”

“I do,” she says hoarsely. “I do, t- the first one. It’s- I do. But I’m so…” She raises a pale trembling palm to run a hand through her hair, inhaling shakily, and with a blink of surprise Yelena realised how scared her older sister truly is.

“What is so terrifying?” she asks tenderly.

“Y/N is a girl.”

Yelena almost laughs at the confession but is able to refrain, and is proud of her capability to do so upon seeing just how agitated her company is over the subject. “Is this all that holds you back? Nobody would care. Ma and Daddy wouldn’t. This is not end of the world.”

“No, you don’t get it,” says Natasha fiercely. “Ever since I came to America... you were here first, you and Y/N, and you just get to be you. You have who you are. But I don’t know who I am, so I have to — do all the American girl things. I have to fit in. I don’t have a Y/N. And American girls don’t kiss girls.”

Yelena stops to consider this. It’s true that Natasha has always put far, far more effort into fitting in and Westernising herself more than she or their parents ever did. Yelena is perfectly content with her slightly broken English and her raspy accent and her life of in-betweenness. She’s okay with being from two places. To her, when she looks in the mirror, that is Yelena Belova. They’re just parts of who she is. She’s never even stopped to consider those as potential insecurities — not when she had other things and feelings (or lack thereof) to worry about. How could something so unchangeable be a source of doubt? And yet here she now sits, struggling to wrap her head around this invisible binary which has suffocated her sister for so many years.

“But you are not… what?” she says confusedly. “You did have a Y/N. All of this… you’re being someone else. I knew something felt strange. I do not understand why? I like who you are before. It wasn’t bad. I like Natalia.”

This seems to break Nat, who buries her face in her hands. Yelena lets out a motherly cluck of sympathy and scoots closer to loop a gangly arm around her sister.

“I just want to be normal,” breathes Natasha.

“But it is not worth all this,” Yelena says, squeezing her sister tightly to her chest. “What does normal even mean? Being cool is not the most important, Natalia. Everybody liking you doesn’t… fix you not liking yourself.” She cringes at her own words, reminding herself a little too much of Darcy’s Pinterest feed, but the words seem to ring true with Nat, at least.

“I am just so scared,” Nat says in a small voice. “And I think I’ve made this so bad it can’t be fixed.”

Yelena pulls away to look her sternly in the eyes. “Things can always be fixed. Maybe not in ideal way you want them to be, but we can always make amends. But you have to be sorry.”

“I am,” Natasha cries, “I am sorry.”

Yelena holds her. “I know.”

She’s not so sure you know it, though.

Maybe somewhere deep down, you do. You see it in the saddened smiles Nat offers you whenever she steps out of your way or leaves a room so you can use it. You see it in the way she brings your favourite snacks home and leaves them in the pantry without word or question, like she doesn’t even expect you to notice. You see it even in the absence of her; in the way that she gives you space, quietly leaving rooms when you enter them so you can use them despite the fact that you can feel in the air how much she wants to stop and talk to you. Sure, you can tell that she’s sorry. But you’re not sure that she knows what she’s sorry for.

You’re not sure she knows how badly she’s really hurt you, with her every move stabbing into you repeatedly over a course of months. Now that the knife is turned on her and she’s the one in exile, a selfish part of you wants to leave her there, just so she knows what it’s like. You guess that’s kind of what you’re doing now. You know this can’t go on forever though. In a couple of months Natasha leaves for out-of-state college, which she announced over dinner a few nights ago. You had to excuse yourself from the table to process that information. Your time is limited, you know, and it’s clear what Natasha wants (to kiss and make up) — but what do you want? To leave this wound untreated, festering for the next eternity? Or to allow yourself peace and let this go?

“Why do I have to be the bigger person?” you half-heartedly complain to Yelena one night as the two of you wash the dishes. “It’s not fair.”

“Because you are the bigger person,” Yelena laughs. “Natalia has given you the control. The next move is on you. That’s just the way it is, if it’s fair or no.” She whips you playfully with her tea towel, and the conversation moves on without further incident.

The issue plays on your mind long after the words are spoken, though. Whether you like it or not, Yelena is right. The next move’s on you. But how are you meant to make that call? What is the right move to make?

Well, one of Natasha’s friends appears very opinionated on the subject. 

On a particularly warm afternoon, you and Yelena stroll into town, and stop off at May Parker’s ice cream parlour — the best in town.

“Ah,” Yelena grimaces, as you draw close to its glass windows, “it is so busy in there. I go in, you wait out here?” 

You smile at her gratefully, and she disappears inside. 

“Y/L/N!” a voice calls out behind you, and you turn around to see Bucky Barnes making a beeline for you. He’s about twice your size in every way imaginable, and you gulp. 

“Hi?” you say uncertainly. You don’t think you’ve ever spoken to him in your life.

“What’s up with you and Romanov?” Well, he’s straight to the point. 

You flounder, mouth opening and shutting, and he’s gracious enough to continue, “look, I know you and her are a thing. Were. I don’t know, she’s being so weird about it. It’s okay, it’s okay, I was her beard. And she was mine,” he adds, gesturing over at Steve Rogers, who’s stood on the other side of the road waiting patiently for his boyfriend. He smiles and waves amiably on cue. 

You blink. “And no one thought to inform me?” 

He shrugs. “Not my place. I think it is my place, though, to ask what’s got her so torn up. You and her fallen out? I’ve never seen her like this. I’on know what to do.”

He may not mean it menacingly, but he’s towering over you and you’re finding it hard to breathe. “She was an asshole, dude,” you say, perhaps a little more defensively than you envisioned. “She wasn’t nice to me and we weren’t even together, because she didn’t see me like that. So yeah, I guess we fell out.”

He frowns, deeply, and takes a moment to process this. “Oh. That… but she does feel that way about you.”

“It’d be nice if she’d show it,” you say bitterly. 

His face softens. “Maybe… Look, even if the two of you don’t work it out proper, wouldn’t it be easier to at least clear the air? She likes you so much. She just wants you in her life, I think.”

You look at him uncertainly for a moment, but he holds your gaze earnestly. You know him and Natasha are relatively close, and you don’t see why he’d lie about something like this. It’s definitely tempting to believe.

“Okay,” you say, “I’ll bear that in mind.”

He looks like he’s about to say something else, but you feel a hand on your shoulder and instantly recognise Yelena’s presence just behind you. “What is going on?”

“Just talking,” says Bucky smoothly, but it seems apparent that the moment is over. “See you around, kid.” He crosses the road back to Steve.

“Kid,” you mutter, “he’s one grade older than me.” 

“What did he want?” Yelena asks you, and you relay your strange interaction to her. “Oh. Well, he is probably right, but I’m not sure how much it means coming from Natasha’s ex.”

“Were they really together?” you ask, your stomach turning at the thought. Wouldn’t that co-occur with your and her relationship? “He said he was her beard.”

She shrugs. “Not my expertise. Come on, the ice cream will melt.”

You don’t see Bucky Barnes again for the weeks that follow, although you can’t help but wonder what he meant, and what he was trying to achieve. (And a little part inside of you thinks that maybe he could be right.)

“Ma?” says Natasha suddenly. “How did you know you loved Alexi?”

It’s late at night, and the two of them are on the car ride home from Nat’s last cheer game of the season. (At her request it was not a family affair, despite Alexi’s insistence that it was his right to make a fuss of his talented daughter’s performance at her last high school cheer game.) The roads are empty and the towns are sleepy, but Natasha’s question has Melina wide awake.

“Eeh… it was not like a revelation. I did not wake up one day with new clarity. It came to me over time. It took me long time to accept, though. Your father is very patient man.”

“But was there anything specific?” Natasha persists.

Melina purses her lips in thought. “Well, when I met him I was not trusting person. One time when we were in the kind of in between bit right before being proper couple, ah —”

“The talking stage,” Nat supplies helpfully.

“— yes, да. We were in that, nothing proper but something, and he went to touch me and I had a… panic? I shut down. Achh, моя любовь, I was still figuring out who I was and what I did and didn’t like and… still growing up and healing from when I was kid. I was scared.”

Natasha nods solemnly. There are some childhood experiences which, despite unspoken, bind she and her mother at the soul.

“So I freak out, and I expected him to… belittle or leave, or something. But he stays and he is so patient, he apologise for making me jump and fetch me tea, and I thought like wow, he is so gentle. And he is not like the other men I known.”

Again, Natasha nods. Gentle is the perfect descriptor for her father. He’s the most wonderful man she’s ever met.

“So we spent more time together, he was patient with me and always caring. That was the time that I knew I would fall in love with him. But I’m not really know when it happened. Maybe by then it already had, ah? I have only ever had eyes for him. He make me feel… valued, and worthy.”

Natasha just hums in response, for she’s suddenly and embarrassingly on the verge of violent sobbing. She blames Ma and Baba and their beautiful relationship. Nothing else.

“Is this about Y/N?” Melina asks quietly. Natasha opens her mouth to reply and there it is, just as she feared, the waterworks are unleashed. Ma sighs heavily and pulls over.

“Идите сюда,” she says, holding her arms out, and Natasha crawls into them. She rocks her daughter back and forth, exactly how she used to so many years ago when the girl was half this size, while Nat’s face is buried in her mother’s neck. They stay like that for a while, until Natasha’s tears begin to die down.

“Do you want to go and get milkshakes?” Melina breaks the silence. Natasha hums her assent.

The 24-hour diner isn’t far from where they’ve pulled over, and it’s almost empty at this time of night. With no words exchanged Melina orders Natasha’s usual, or what was her usual when she was a kid — a strawberry milkshake and fries. A young Natasha decided strawberry was her favourite as soon as she found out that pink was a girl’s colour. Thinking about that now, especially with the hindsight of her conversation with Yelena, has her stomach turning a little. How long has she been letting her view of the world colour every single choice that she makes? Which parts of her are really her, and which are the ones she’s willed into existence?

It’s a scary line of questioning, and Natasha can feel herself beginning to spiral. No more, she tells herself. Yelena was probably right about needing to get to know herself — and learning her real favourite flavour of milkshake seems a manageable starting point.

“Can I have the caramel one?” she asks Melina gruffly, pointing at the menu. Her mama just nods and alters their order accordingly.

They sit at their usual booth and eat in a comfortable silence, punctuated only by the occasional “pass the ketchup”s. Once they’ve finished, though, and Melina can sense her daughter has calmed enough to leave, she turns and says to her, “Love isn’t easy thing to admit. But it’s… not something to be ashamed of. When it comes, just let it happen. It’s scary, but it does not make you weaker, ah? It will do you no good to push it away.” She hesitates, but then seems satisfied with what she’s said. She turns on her heel and heads back out to the car. Natasha, dumbfounded, follows her.

When they finally make it home, Alexi is snoring away upstairs and you’re on the sofa with Yelena sprawled on top of you, fast asleep. You’re wide awake, though, and look up as the two of them come in.

“Night, ma,” Natasha murmurs to her mother, kissing her cheek before tiptoeing off to bed. Melina hums at the action and pads into the living room toward her twins.

“Hi ma,” you chirp, voice a little husky. “Everything okay?”

Your mama nods, and holds out a brown paper bag. “We stopped at diner. Got your favourite. Some for Lena too.”

Your eyes crinkle up into half-moons as you smile at her in gratitude, and Melina smiles back fondly, her chest filling with warmth. “Thank you.”

She kisses Yelena’s forehead, who does not stir, and then yours, lingering for a moment.

“I love you,” she tells you sincerely, and a fierceness glimmers in her gaze that you’re not quite sure what to do with. “We all do.”

“I love you too,” you tell her honestly. You only hope you’re matching her intensity. She holds your gaze for a moment longer as if searching for something within it,  then nods, seemingly satisfied, and retreats upstairs to join Alexi, leaving you alone with a meal to demolish, a slumbering blonde pinning you to the sofa and many, many thoughts.

A few days after that conversation, you wander into the backyard (Melina’s carefully pruned pride and joy) to pet Liho, who’s basking peacefully in the summer evening sun.

“Careful of the flowerbed,” you warn as he flexes his claws and kicks his legs happily. “Someone will suffer if Ma’s roses are ruined.”

He huffs in what could be agreement, and you toe absently at the sandy dirt you and Yelena used to play in.

A gentle creaking sounds from somewhere nearby. It’s a noise that makes you feel ten years younger, and curiously, you rise to your feet.

At the far end of the backyard, nestled among the pines and pratia, is the swing set Alexi built a little while after Yelena first moved in. It’s a little haggard-looking, as when Natasha came to America Alexi bodged a third swing so all of you could play together, but to his credit it’s still held up all these years. Sure, it doesn’t get so much use anymore, but sometimes when one of you is feeling a little down you’ll revisit the simpler times of your childhood.

This seems to be what you’ve stumbled upon Natasha doing now. She’s sat on the middle swing (which in times gone by was your swing, as the middle spot often was when you were a kid, so both siblings got to be next to you), rocking back and forth gently as she cradles something small in her hands, turning it over. She’s lost in thought. Wondering if you’ve intruded on something private, you begin to slowly pace away. When you catch sight of what it is in her hands, though, your stomach turns; a small and glistening pink rock, rubbed smooth by years of love.

“You kept that?” you ask quietly. Natasha’s head shoots up and she takes note of your appearance in the same way that a deer takes note of rapidly approaching headlights. Her mouth opens as she fumbles for words, but she just settles for nodding vigorously before lowering her gaze to her lap again.

You don’t really know what to think, or do. You hesitate for a moment, and find yourself thinking of Bucky’s advice — wouldn’t it be easier to clear the air? This tension is suffocating. With this on your mind, you seem to surprise Natasha as much as yourself when your feet march you over to the swing on your left, and your knees bend to seat you. Her entire body tenses as yours nears her. You can tell that, since you’ve gone to great lengths to escape her company recently, this is the last thing she expected. (In all honesty you weren’t really expecting this either. What now?)

“You know that I’m in love with you, right?” Natasha says suddenly, and you freeze. Your chest tightens, and it’s like she’s wrapped herself around it, claiming your breath as her own.

“That’s not funny,” you reply in a small voice. “Don’t— don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Play with me like that.”

Her stomach lurches. “I’m being serious.”

You’re quiet for a moment. “Were you and Bucky ever actually together?”

“What?”

“Bucky Barnes. Were you with him when you were with me, too?” 

“N- no,” she says with vehement certainty. “I was — well, I guess it doesn’t really matter now, but when him and Steve were a secret I was his cover story. And I guess he was mine, so that I could… yeah.” She gestures towards you, pressing her lips together. 

“But even after they came out I was still a secret.”

“I—” Natasha says, and buries her face in her hands for a moment, because this is not how she hoped this would go. “Yes. And that was wrong of me. I’m sorry. I think I was trying to protect you, and me, and you from me because I know how messy I can be, and I wanted you so bad but I didn’t want to drag you down with me. And I still did anyway.” She sighs heavily.

“That’s an interesting way of showing affection,” you quip. 

“I know,” she says quietly. “And I’m sorry. I know I haven’t shown it well — at all — and I don’t really blame you for not believing me. Or, uh, hating me.”

“I don’t hate you,” you say softly.

Her shoulders sag. “Oh. W— well that’s good, then.”

“But I wish I did,” you add.

“No, yeah. That’s fair.”

“You’re really mean.”

Natasha just nods.

“And it’s even worse because I can’t even hate you because you can also be really nice.”

She nods again uncertainly. She’s not really sure how to respond to that.

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why are you so mean sometimes?”

This makes her stop up short. The way that both you and Yelena never fail to cut to the chase or ask the questions that nobody else would will always catch her off guard. “It’s kind of just who I am,” she begins, but at the way your face scrunches she adds, “or who I’ve decided to be, anyway. I don’t really know. I’m not sure… who I am.” Even uttering the statement aloud is a weight lifted from her shoulders. “It’s scary. I guess I… I thought that, like, I have to be the mean one, or someone else will first. To me. You know?”

“Why would anyone be mean to you?”

“Because I like girls,” she says truthfully, and there’s a tremor to her voice.. “And I’m not from here.”

You stare at her. “…? I like girls, and Yelena isn’t from here. No one is mean to us for it.”

“Because Yelena can and will beat the shit out of anyone that tries something,” Nat snorts. “But I just… I don’t know. It’s different for me.” You nod encouragingly and she adds with reluctance, “I don’t— belong here, not really. Or anywhere. I’m too American to be Russian and too Russian to be American. Ma and Baba and Yelena have it figured out, they’re just both and themselves and they don’t even have to think about it. But that’s not so easy for me.”

“Maybe,” you say carefully, “it’s to do with the people you choose to surround yourselves with. Is it possible that you’re… spending time with the wrong people? If you’re made to feel as though these things make you lesser.”

She shrugs. “Probably. But that doesn’t change the fact that I just… I really don’t have a lot going for me. So I kinda pretend that I do, and then it gets out of hand and I’ve convinced myself that I’m a lot more interesting than I am, to the point that I don’t know who me is. And I get all freaked out. And I’m so scared I kind of just shut off and try not to think, so I guess I’m just an asshole instead. Like it’s a reflex, you know? But it’s not really me. Nothing is me. My entire life is one perpetual identity crisis.” She drops her gaze to toe at the ground.

Your swing comes to a still as you clasp one of her hands between both of yours. They’re warm and perfectly manicured, and her eyes light up at the contact. “You don’t have to know who you are. You just have to exist, and you find out. I’m learning things about myself all the time, and so is Lena. This was my first relationship —” Nat’s stomach drops at the use of the word was “— and I’ve learnt a lot about myself and how I like to be treated. And Lena only came to terms with being aroace this year. Even Ma only just decided she’s demi,” you point out, and Nat can’t help but smile at this. (A little while ago, after Yelena first came out, you and Melina began joining her in attending weekly meetings at the local youth centre for young queer people and their parents. Your mama was determined to be a more educated advocate for her three queer daughters. Very recently, with all this new terminology at her disposal, she dropped into a dinnertime conversation in the presence of the whole family that she thinks she’s demi. “Not that it matters,” she added, “the only one for me is your father,” and she kissed his beaming crinkly cheek with a motherly tenderness. It was a beautiful moment to witness, despite Yelena’s playful booing.)

“I guess,” she says quietly. “Um, I’ve been talking to someone. Professional,” she adds at the look on your face. “Yelena said some stuff that made me realise I probably shouldn’t sort through this alone.”

“Yes, you shouldn’t,” you nod. Natasha raises an eyebrow at your ready agreement. “It’s not something to be ashamed of. Lena sees someone. I do too.”

She blinks. “Really?”

“Yes,” you laugh, “Baba takes me every other Thursday. I have horrible abandonment issues. I guess after everything that’s happened, I’ve kinda internalised some stuff.”

“I definitely took advantage of that,” Nat says guiltily. “I’m sorry. Honestly, I am.”

You look at her. “I know.” Your hand squeezes hers before letting go and she instantly aches to feel it again. “I’m sorry, too. For not… I don’t know, setting more boundaries. Or being more forceful.”

“No, no, it wasn’t your fault.”

You hum, and the two of you sit in silence for a long while as the sun begins to retire.

“You know,” you say suddenly, “you don’t have to move across the country. You can if you want, obviously, it’s your call, but if it’s just because of me… you don’t have to.”

“But-? I’m trying to give you space? To heal,” she says confusedly, and you laugh.

“And it’s very sweet, but I don’t need that much space. I’ve already forgiven you.”

Natasha’s soul leaves her body. “You— huh?”

“I have,” you laugh kindly. “I did some of my own thinking, and I just… I don’t know. I don’t think you need me being mad at you, on top of everything else going on in here.” You tap at her temple gently to emphasise your point, and she shivers. “And I don’t think I need that either. I don’t want to carry that with me.”

“Okay,” Natasha breathes. “T— thank you.”

You wrinkle your nose at her affectionately. “You’re silly.”

She’s awash with the overwhelming need to kiss you, and instead twitches a little, digging her nails into her palm. You take in the movement with such wide-eyed concern that she has to close her eyes for a moment, because she’s almost ill with how much she feels for you. This feeling only grows more intense as you continue.

“I know we’re… whatever we are, but… if there’s anything I can do for you, let me know,” you say more quietly. “I know you’ve been through some stuff, and even when you’re seeing someone for it it can get overwhelming. I do care about you.”

She nods, and swallows thickly. “ I don’t— I— uhm. What does this make us?”

You can hear her hopes heavy on her tongue, and your heart is like lead. “Friends?” you offer. “I— I don’t think we should be anything else, right now.”

Natasha nods, and swallows thickly. With it she swallows back the words but I love you. It must be written across her face, though, because you cup it between your hands (which really isn’t helping her self-restraint at all).

“I love you,” you tell her honestly. “And I always have. But love isn’t… you don’t… I don’t know. That kind of love is something that you earn, I think. And we both need to take care of ourselves.”

“I understand.” Natasha’s voice is hoarse, and barely above a whisper. “And I want you to feel like I respect your decision. But I also want you to feel like I’m serious. About you. And I will prove it if I have to.”

Against your own better judgement, you smile at her.

One thing about Natasha Romanoff is that she’s not a quitter.

Some would say it’s an endearing quality. More would probably tell her it’s the reason she finds herself in so many messes in the first place. What’s objectively certain is that she’s a stubborn little shit — and and with this determination she’s decided she’s going to win you back. Your slight encouragement, no matter how vague, is enough fuel for a fire that could simmer for months.

It starts as chocolates, and flowers. At this point she seems to have cottoned onto the fact that you’re not one for big, theatrical confessions of love, but rather consistent affirmations of it. Actions, not words, she’s heard you say (although now more than ever before she’s seeing for herself what you mean). So there’s no four-act sonnet recitals when you receive her gifts — although you don’t really receive them at all, in the traditional sense. Rather they seem to begin popping up everywhere you go. At one point you open your locker to a bouquet so over-endowed that flowers begin to tumble out onto the floor. Sam steps neatly to the side and watches with glee as you scramble to clean the mess. (He’s most definitely enjoying watching all of this play out.)

Your favourite of all these surprise gifts is probably one delivered by your own four-legged Cupid himself. Liho headbutts the door to your room open and stalks in with a scowl on his face and something attached to his collar. As soon as you remove it to inspect it he rolls onto his back and looks up at you expectantly, clearly expecting compensation for this favour.

“Yes, you’re a very handsome boy,” you tell him distractedly, using one hand to rub his belly while you attempt to unfurl the note he’s delivered with the other. Yelena lets out a noise of amusement. She’s perched on your bed with the Kardashians paused on her laptop in favour of watching this play out instead.

“You are so ungraceful,” she comments mildly, making no move to help you.

“I love how you always see the best in me,” you reply through gritted teeth.

After a moment, you manage to succeed in your task. I picked these for you :), the letter reads. You glance over at Liho’s collar again to see a tiny bunch of forget-me-nots, only slightly battered from their journey and bound neatly by brown twine.

“Another gift from the mystery girl?” Yelena teases, and you groan.

“Okay, saying mystery girl is officially banned. It’s giving me war flashbacks.”

“And that is fair,” your sister muses, getting to her feet to inspect your latest delivery. After she’s done she sits back on her heels. “You don’t have to keep turning her down, you know.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, if it’s just because of me. You have my… blessing, or whatever. But on the condition that you’re not gross about it.” She rolls her eyes, and nudges your cheek with her nose. You squirm good-naturedly.

“Why thank you, your Grace.”

“Yes, I’m the graceful one,” she preens.

“Sure,” you snort, and she smirks. “Um, thank you, though. That’s good to know. I guess I’m still… figuring it out, but she’s growing on me again.” And it’s true. You have your reservations now, but she’s trying to remind you why you first fell for her (and yeah, she might be succeeding). Part of you wonders if she’s turning on the superficiality again, but after she spilled her guts to you on the swing set you’re trying to have faith that she really is turning a new leaf, and charming you authentically.

Yelena considers this. “Yes, okay. This makes sense. Remember to tell me if she tries anything again though. I will put them up.” She raises her fists and you giggle, but you know she’s at least partially serious. She’s very athletic in her own right and people at school go out of their way to avoid crossing her. That’s how you’ve stayed out of trouble your whole life — by standing behind Yelena and letting her handle it instead. Where you hesitate, she dives right in. You adore that about her, though.

“Do you know what you’ll do once she’s out of state?” Lena asks, and you shrug.

“Figure it out as we go, I guess. I don’t know if she’ll lose interest in me.”

The blonde looks up fiercely. “If she does that I will stick them up.”

You beam at her, admittedly less for the violence and more for the sentiment behind it. She beams back for reasons more ambiguous.

“Do you know what we will do?” Yelena queries. Upon your frown she elaborates, “next year when it is our turn to pick college. You and me, what will we do?”

“Pick the same one, and both get in because we’re super smart, and we’ll be roommates. And you can make us mac and cheese every night,” you say, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

She contemplates this.

“Okay,” she says, seemingly satisfied with your answer. “Can we hit play now? I want to know what’s happen to Kim’s diamond earring.”

“Two cookies say she gets it back.”

“Two cookies say eat my ass the way a fish ate her earring,” she retorts, and the two of you settle on the bed again. (You have two more cookies than usual after dinner.)

Despite the witticism you take Yelena’s blessing with pride, and it means a lot more to you than you let on. Now that every single member of your family has shown their support for your relationship you can’t help but feel a slight ray of hope, the likes of which you thought had been stomped out long ago. Never before have you dared to imagine a situation where you could actually have a shot with the girl of your dreams, who you’ve wanted for as long as you can remember — and yet here you are, with her putting her back out working overtime to win you over, and your family watching with interest. Every morning you wake up a little warmer to the idea of letting this happen.

That doesn’t mean Natasha’s out of the woods yet, though, and you’re careful to make this clear to her. She senses your hesitance, and completely understands its presence. She’ll wait for you as long as it takes. (She’s genuinely stunned at how forgiving you have been of her, in all honesty.) In fact she takes your reluctances in her stride in a way that actually has you feeling more for her — but again, you know better than to repeat your mistakes of the past, and so you take this as slowly as you can considering she’s coming on strong and you live under the same roof.

Three months of summer lie ahead of you, stretching out like an endless expanse of sunset-tinted possibility. You and Yelena manage to land jobs at the video store in town — Yelena goes blazing into the interview and makes it clear as she can that the two of you are a package deal. Wong, the guy who runs the place, just seems grateful for the help.

The store becomes somewhat of a hangout spot for the two of you, who work the same hours and are joined at the hip like always, and it’s a safe bet to stop by if anyone wants to find you. Sam often swings by to playfully irritate the both of you, since the marina where his parents’ boat is docked is just round the corner, and Natasha will meet you when you’re closing to take you out for dinner after. (Sometimes Yelena tags along to these meals, and gleefully revels in the awkwardness her presence causes.) Since you and Yelena are twins again too, things are looking up for your friendship group and they’ve taken to visiting also. You’re delighted to spend time with them again. (Seeing Makkari’s face light up when she steps into the Deaf & Subtitled section of the store makes your whole week.)

In fact, word seems to have gotten out about the fact that Wong’s employed you, because one sleepy Tuesday afternoon Bucky Barnes drops by to rent a DVD. He picks one at random, not even glancing at the cover, and as you scan it through for him he says to you lowly, “thank you for making Natasha happy again. She cares so much about you.” He offers you a genuine smile before heading out abruptly and almost forgetting his DVD in the process. (You suspect his purchase was a mere means to talk to you.) It’s a strange interaction, but decidedly more pleasant than your last with him, so you take it no further.

Another perk of having this job is that you have your own money now. You’re not really sure what to do with it at first; the only thing that occurs to you is that you want to get a gift for Natasha. At the end of the summer is her graduation — she’ll walk and wear the square hat and everything, and you’re very excited to embarrass her with photos of the event — and after that she’ll leave for college. Her graduation is the perfect time to present her with said gift, you decide.

You know you want the gift to be meaningful, but you’re not really sure of the specifics. Luckily for you, one night on the roof with Natasha is all you need for the inspiration to strike.

Can’t sleep, you text her one night, after hours of fruitless tossing and turning.

She replies immediately.

Me neither

Come down to my room :)

If you want to!!! she adds after a moment, and you can’t help but smile to yourself. She is adorable.

Omw, you tell her, rolling out of bed.

The door is unlocked!!!!!! just come in

You follow her instructions and slip inside. The room is cosily lit, with her fairy lights on and her little lamp shaped like Calcifer flickering merrily; the bed is unmade, as if someone’s been in it recently, but Natasha herself is nowhere to be seen.

“Nat?” you call out uncertainly, and squeak in surprise when her head pops through the window. She smiles softly at your reaction.

“I’m out here,” she tells you. “C’mon, there’s space for both of us.” She wriggles along her perch on the flat row of tiles of the roof, and pats the empty spot beside her. Antics like this don’t faze you after twelve years of friendship with Yelena. You clamber out beside her readily.

“Hi,” says Natasha a little bashfully, once you’re settled. You lean up to peck her lips and she flushes. “Y— yeah. Um, hi.”

“Hi,” you reply sweetly. “It’s nice out here.”

“It is,” she agrees, her gaze not straying from you. You take no notice, though; your sights are set to the heavens. No matter how much you snipe about how annoying it is to live in a small town, the views still take your breath away. The stars shimmer bright above you, as they do almost every night. They’re not the only beautiful sight your town has to offer; Wanda adores the rocky hills at the edge of town, where many scavengers like squirrels and raccoons have made their home (one boy in your grade, Peter Quill, has befriended one of the raccoons and affectionately named him ‘Rocket’. He visits Rocket every day after lunch with his leftovers from the cafeteria). Occasionally she’s able to convince everyone in your group to accompany her hiking there. Despite your grumbling, it does make for an enjoyable day out.

“I come out here when I can’t sleep,” she tells you quietly.

“I sit on the roof sometimes,” you reply, and you beam at each other. It’s true — you do, but sharing the information feels vulnerable. You’ve figured out how to hoist yourself up through the skylight in the loft and onto the utmost point of the house, but it’s an activity you’ve kept as your own for now. While you adore more than anything being twins with Yelena, and living your life with her, you’re also learning how to exist by yourself for the first time in your life, and enjoying having your own space. Your little corner in the attic has afforded you many freedoms, and not just material ones.

“You see the moon?” Nat asks. The planet in question hangs round and heavy over the horizon, not quite full.

“How could I miss her?” She’s the most beautiful thing in sight.

“You know the difference between waxing and waning?” Natasha prompts, and you shake your head, solely because you love when she talks about her passions. “Waxing is when the moon transitions from a new moon to a full moon — so she fills out. See, that’s what she’s doing now.”

“She’s nearly full,” you remark quietly.

“Yup.” She grins. “Now when she’s waxing, she fills in from the right side — so she kinda looks like a C.” She makes a C shape with her left hand and holds it up against the sky to confirm that, yes, while the moon is waxing it vaguely resembles the letter. “But soon she’ll start to wane — maybe next week? After the full moon. Waning is the transition from the full moon back to the new moon, so she shrinks away into nothing. She’s eaten away from the left side, so she looks like a reverse C.” Nat makes a C shape with her right hand this time, so that it’s reversed, and holds it up to compare to the moon. They don’t match up right now, but they’ll get there someday.

“This is my favourite period though,” she confesses, her voice dropping a little lower, “of the lunar cycle. When the moon is waxing.”

“Why?”

“Because it feels,” she hesitates. “I don’t know. It feels like gross to say out loud but it kinda just feels like, encouraging. Things are always changing. They won’t be like this forever, you know? The cycle keeps on repeating itself.”

“The cycle keeps on repeating itself,” you repeat, and she smiles at you.

“Yeah. You don’t think it’s… dumb? I don’t know, I’ve never brought anyone else up here. I —”

“I don’t think that at all,” you tell her, and she kisses you gently.

The next day you go out and buy a crescent moon necklace.

Natasha has been coming into your room more and more often lately, and you don’t trust yourself to not leave it lying around in plain sight, so one day while she’s out you enlist Alexi’s help to loosen one of the floorboards in the attic so you can stash things under it inconspicuously.

“It’s not for anything suspicious,” you tell him quickly, “you can look under it whenever you want. It’s just to hide gifts and —”

“Relax, sunflower,” he chuckles, “you are entitled to your secrets.”

The necklace stays hidden there until summer draws to a close.

The weeks fly by in a golden haze and before you know it, you’re getting ready for Natasha’s graduation.

Alexi is stood on the landing in his smartest suit, and flexing proudly in the mirror on the wall. “It still fits!” he booms triumphantly.

“Don’t forget to wear your nice shirt, любовь,” Melina calls up the stairs to him. “No one with holes in.” He deflates a little, and retreats back into their bedroom to change.

“He looks fine,” Yelena scolds half-heartedly as she lumbers down the stairs, holding out her wrists to Melina. “Can you do my cufflinks?”

“Where’s your please?” Melina retorts, but she sets her clutch down so she can use both hands to help her daughter.

“We have to leave in ten minutes,” Natasha announces as she bursts from her own room. “Семья, I know what you are like, and we cannot be late.”

“Relax, love.” Alexi reemerges from the bedroom in a different shirt this time. “I will go and start the car,” he starts down the stairs, “and— oh.” He pauses as several buttons pop off his shirt simultaneously. “Ебать.” He turns around and subduedly makes his way back up the stairs.

“Baba,” Natasha groans. “This is what I mean.”

“Hey! I am nearly ready,” says Yelena indignantly, nodding at her mother in thanks for doing her cufflinks before ducking in front of the mirror. “Oh shit, where is my tie?”

“Language,” reprimands Melina.

“See?” Natasha sighs exasperatedly. “Y/N/N is the only one who’s ready.” She hurries down the stairs to where you’re stood in the hall, watching the scene unfold serenely. You’ve been ready to leave for the last ten minutes. She beams at you and pecks you on the cheek just shy of your lips. You flush, and the crescent moon necklace burns a hole in your pocket. Now isn’t the time, though.

Eventually, you all make it into the car, with everyone now sporting correctly-fitting outfits. As always on car journeys, you’re in the back, sandwiched in the middle between Natasha and Yelena. Lena scrolls through her phone disinterestedly, headphones in, while Natasha vibrates on your other side with anticipation and nerves. You take one of her hands between both of yours and she stills instantly.

“I am very proud of you,” you say quietly, “to have made it this far, with these grades. You’ve gotten into your dream college. You can do anything. Today will go fine.”

She doesn’t speak for fear of bawling and potentially ruining her eyeliner, so instead she rests her head on your shoulder in silent gratitude. She doesn’t move until you arrive, at which point she shows you all to your seats (front row, you note) and disappears to the backstage meeting point for all of the graduates.

The actual ceremony doesn’t begin for a while, so Melina converses with the other parents seated around her while Alexi nods politely, and you and Yelena compete in a thumb war. Eventually Principal Rambeau steps onto the stage and a silence settles on the gathered audience.

“Thank you all for attending,” she begins. “We’re here to celebrate our wonderful seniors, who have put in so much work to make it here today, and walk this stage.” She continues like that for a short while before they begin to call the students’ names, and they each walk across the stage in turn to claim their diploma. Natasha is a little later on the register, so you just sit back and enjoy the show — you’ve lived in this small town all your life, where most people know of each other, and so you recognise or even know the vast majority of the people who make their way across the stage. Some of them choose to make a memorable exit from their high school career (like Happy Hogan who chooses to breakdance his way across the stage, or Ned Leeds who walks proudly in a hot dog suit), whereas others take the more graceful route (see Valkyrie King, a prominent athlete of the school, who walks with confidence and regally basks in everyone’s recognition of her). When Natasha Romanova-Shostakov is called, she walks the stage a little bashfully, and with a blush accepts the cheers showered upon her after several years of being the cheer team’s star. You clap and shout louder than anyone else, and to Yelena’s glee capture several shots of her in her square graduate cap. Front row seat privilege. 

After the presentations, the students flood into the crowd and people break off into little groups. The air hums with the joy of people laughing and congratulating and embracing one another. Natasha makes her way over to you and Yelena, who are stood now with your parents beside the refreshments. She brightens when she spots you, and is instantly by your side, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“There is my girl!” Melina cheers. An outbreak of hugging ensues.

You mingle politely for a while with the other families milling around your own. Natasha appears intermittently, being the centre of attention today. Yelena is by your side (with her arm annoyingly resting on your shoulder to remind you that she’s taller) until one of her hockey friends pilfers her to show her something. In the few moments that you’re unaccompanied, Natasha resurfaces from the crowd, takes your arm and leads you somewhere a little quieter, and a little less visible to the masses.

“I just, um,” she realises she’s still holding your arm and lets go of it with a blush, “I wanted to thank you for being here. Like actually. It means a lot to me. I know— I know that in a couple of weeks I won’t be here properly, and it might make things weird, but —”

Now is the perfect time, you decide. As she continues to nervously ramble you pull the crescent moon necklace in its little velvet box from your pocket, and present it to her. She falls silent and looks at you.

“It’s for you,” you say unnecessarily, opening it to show her the treasure inside. Her eyes widen. “I— I want to do this with you. I want to give us a try. I like being with you.”

And as you clasp the delicate chain around her neck, and lean up to press a chaste kiss to her lips, Natasha understands. Love is something you earn.

She entwines your hand with hers, and together the two of you make your way back towards your family.

[m00mis]

i just read your svt shoelace scenario and it's so cute! idk if you're taking requests but if you are can you please do a "svt reacting to their s/o calling them bro" scenario? if you're not feel free to ignore!

thankyou !! i am totally taking requests pls feel free to ask :)

{ also i hope i interpreted your request properly ㅠㅠ im overthinking as usual }

svt reacting to their s/o calling them bro

cheol - he would be shocked and so offended like "bro??? me?? what?? i'm not your bro what are you talking about?? tchh bro? seriously? what happened to 'babe'? 'baby'? 'cheollie'? 'the love of my life'?" goes on a whiney rant about how he is not your bro, he is your baby and won't drop it for two weeks and only responds to you with "ok bro" so you know how it feels

jeonghan - he didn't realise what you said and would reply as if nothing had happened. that is not in your usual vocabulary so it went straight through him but in the middle of the night he would wake up in a cold sweat muttering "bro.. she called me bro?" and would text you right then at 3am to never call him bro again. creepy asf.

joshua - would suddenly look up at you with those big eyes and confused smile ("huh?") which made you super embarrassed because why is he looking at you like you have committed terrible crimes and now you are running away and oh god he's chasing after you

jun - you were eating together and he would burst into laughter but when he sees you're not laughing he slowly realises that this was serious business and he just points to himself with a mouth full of food saying "me? i'm your bro?"

hoshi - oh great what have you done. now he only calls you bro. "hey my bro ! <⁠(⁠￣���︶⁠￣⁠)⁠>". yep. the rest of the members think you two have somehow regressed back to the friendzone with hoshi being happier than before??

wonwoo - is shocked and sweetly asks why you said bro, but you can't explain and he has the biggest grin on his face, chuckling because it was so absurd and he can't get over it. it's so funny to him that he tells all the members and he never forgets it. one of his fondest memories of you

woozi - the atmosphere is so tense after it slipped out of your mouth but suddenly he bursts out laughing and folds in half "you actually... actually just called me bro..!? i can't... can't believe it PSHAHAAA" between wheezes . funniest thing to him

dk - would hit him like a ton of bricks "is that what i am to you? a bro?" and is so upset you're basically begging on your knees for him to forgive you but he can't even hear anything you're saying because he's trying to figure out what he did wrong in your relationship for you to call him bro so nonchalantly .. heart brocken fr 💔

mingyu - you can tell it's echoing around his mind as he's off staring into space in absolute disbelief.. you start laughing at his dumbfounded expression so he starts smiling in confusion, "what? what was that? why did you say that? tell me!" and you have collapsed because his reaction is so funny. he's all whiney and rolling around on the sofa because he is so hurt

minghao - i think he would somehow turn it into a psychological thing and ask why you think of him as your brother and if you had any good brotherly figures growing up to try to figure out what is going on for you to call him bro. basically he would use it as an excuse to understand you more cuz he lovs u

seungkwan - would drop everything to judge you with that look in his eyes and the pressure would be so intense that you immediately apologise. he is never letting this go. occasionally calls you bro just to embarrass you because he loves seeing you all worked up

vernon - "sup bro". "sup" . thats it. sorry but he would be so unbothered. starts dapping you up every time he sees you followed by a lil kiss.

dino - half-jokingly goes "was that a mistake? im letting you off this time. watch your back" and does the 'i'm watching you' finger eye point thingy(?) while backing out of the room and when he's out of view he runs to the bathroom to let out his laughter because he can't believe how weirdly cute you were. talks to himself in the mirror about it.

[fallinforerling]

can we get a 13 and 16 angst to fluff with jude please x

in the wrong - jb

A/N: screaming, crying, throwing up. this one has a bit of a double POV that jumps from jude’s to reader’s. i love to write little angst to fluff thingies, especially with jude. send your request! remember that feedback it’s always welcomed. love you xx

ೃ⁀➷ jude’s taglist 

ೃ⁀➷ jude’s masterlist

ೃ⁀➷ masterlist

: ̗̀➛ requested phrases

13. “why are you calling me? it's two a.m.”

16. “i'm angry but i still love you”

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

You couldn’t believe your eyes. Was this a sick joke or something? 

Your eyes followed the movements of Sasha, the “friend” that crashed from time to time on your reunions, always cheeky and happy to be there. But you knew better. She was into Jude; it was very evident, but your boyfriend didn’t seem to agree with you. Every time you brought up the way she would always find an excuse to be near him, whisper into his ear, or just touch him for no apparent reason, he would say you were seeing things, that there was nothing to worry about. That you were crazy. And, of course, she didn’t care that you, his girlfriend, were there to witness it all. 

You were furious. 

“Babe?” You called, wanting to get Jude to your side as fast as possible before Sasha could get her hands on his chest or something like that. “Can you come here for a second?” 

Jude knows you. He noticed the way you were avoiding any type of chatter, with arms crossed and no sight of even a tiny smile on your face. You were mad, that was evident. But he chose to ignore it since it happened every time Sasha was around. He didn’t get it. Yeah, maybe you didn’t like her as much, but he wasn’t going to avoid her just because of that. 

“What’s up?” He seemed a bit apprehensive, since your eyes were sparkling the kind of way they always did when your blood was boiling.

“Can we head home? I’m tired.” 

“Now?” He turned back to see all his friends still chatting and drinking. “Can we stay a bit longer? The night’s just starting, babe.” 

You took a deep breath, not wanting to seem like a difficult person. But God, you just wanted to leave. 

“Is it because of Sasha? Babe, come on. She’s just friendly, we’ve been over this before.” 

Oh?

“Friendly?” That word alone made you forget about being easy. He brought it up. “Jude, she flirts with you all the time. You can’t tell me you don’t notice it!” Your eyes went directly to her, who was on the other corner, looking at both of you with a tiny smirk, like she was enjoying the effect she had on you. “She’s waiting for the right opportunity to make a move. And yes, I don’t tolerate her. So, can we please go?” 

He stood there, looking at you with a frown for a few seconds before sighing. 

“I don’t see it because there’s nothing to see. She’s a friend, and if you want to leave just because you can’t stand a person, then you’re free to leave…” He regretted saying that as soon as it came out of his mouth, but it was too late. You were already doing that thing with your mouth when you were about to explode.

Your whole face went from angry to serious, obviously offended. He just basically kicked you out of the party, choosing a practical stranger who loved to flirt with him over you? 

“Oh! So I am the problem… Okay, fine.” You turned, and before he could say anything to make you stay, you were out the house. 

He was dumbfounded. He didn’t expected that reaction, since you were the calmest person to ever exist. He followed outside, trying to catch you, but the only thing he saw were your car’s lights before it hit the curve. 

Fuck. 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

As soon as you were inside your car, you muted your phone. There was no way in hell you were answering anyone’s texts right now, especially not Jude’s. 

How dare he? Implying that you were not only imagining things, but also telling you to just leave if you weren’t happy around Sasha. He was the biggest asshole in the whole world. You hated crying, but it was impossible not to when you thought about it all. Why did he act like he didn’t get it? How many times did you reassured him when he felt insecure? Why wasn’t he doing the same for you? 

A slight sob escaped your mouth, and you felt grateful that at least you were near home. Crying while driving was a bad combination. Biting your lip, you speeded a bit more, wanting to get out of the car as soon as possible. All you could think about was that your boyfriend didn’t even care. 

When you finally made it inside, you weren’t letting yourself just fall into bed and cry yourself to sleep, even though that was all that you wanted. That was out of the question. So you headed to the bathroom, taking all your accessories and clothes off while walking. 

“Fucking prick.” You murmured, throwing a high heel against the floor without actual force, just wanting to let some of the anger out. 

You just couldn’t get your head around how the night ended. He was such an…

“Stop! Stop thinking about him, it’s not worth it.”

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Jude was growing more and more worried as the minutes passed. He tried calling and texting, but you weren’t picking up your phone. It’s been almost an hour, and even if he tried to, there was no actual way of getting a car to take him to your place immediately. He had to wait at least another thirty minutes, which was hell. He deserved to be left behind after what he said to you, but he couldn’t stand not knowing where you were and if you were okay. 

“Please pick up, please, please.” He murmured like a prayer, pacing back and forth. “I’m such a prick…” It was the twentieth call he made just this past ten minutes, and you were still not picking up.

When he was about to make attempt number twenty one, the door to the backyard opened. Jude turned a bit, just in time to see Sasha’s grin while approaching him. He didn’t have time for this. 

“What’s wrong, Jude? Your little girlfriend abandoned you, didn’t she?” Jude stared at her with an arched eyebrow, not feeling the little joking tone she was using while referring to you. “Ah, come on! Don’t let her ruin your night, we can still have fun…” One of her hands brushed against his arm, making him slightly uncomfortable with the way her eyes were looking at him. 

Why was she staring at him like that…? Oh…

“Yeah, no… That’s not happening.” He made the space between them wider, still holding the phone to his ear. The realization that what you said was absolutely true hit him like a truck. Yeah, he was the fucking prick. “I don’t know what told you I’d ever cheat on my girl, but whatever it was, nonexistent. Now, excuse me, but I have to get to her house before she thinks I’ll ever waste my time on you or anyone else.” 

Sasha stood there, with an open mouth and an offended expression for a long time, even after Jude left her all alone in the backyard. Just as he was about to leave the house, his phone rang. His heart made a little twist, hopeful about you calling him back, but what he saw was the best second option of the night. Thank God.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

It was around two a.m. when your phone started to ring. You groaned, regretting unmuting it at the last minute. Why did it had to rang just when you were finally falling asleep? Your eyelids felt so heavy that you could barely see the phone screen as you answered, already knowing that it might be Jude. 

“Hello?” 

“Are you home?” Jude’s voice was a bit agitated. 

Your eyebrows furrowed, annoyed by the interruption and a little bit by his voice. 

“Where else would I be, Jude?” You paused, checking the time. “Besides, why are you calling me? It’s two a.m.” 

“Because there’s no way I’ll go to bed knowing my girl is mad at me.” He sighed. “You were right, as always… Can you open the door? I left my key at home.” 

“What?” That woke you up. 

You got out of bed as fast as you could, going straight to the living room so you could look outside. And yes, there he was, looking up at you, like he was waiting to see you peeking out of that exact window. 

“So?” He shouted, smiling a bit despite the absence of reaction from your side. 

Without a word, you went directly to the door. While opening, you felt your heart a bit heavier on your chest. He came. Once the door was open, you both stared at each other with big eyes; he seemed scared of standing there, and you were feeling a mixture of happiness and desire to punch him in the face. 

“I’m sorry.” Was the first thing that fell out of his lips, making you smirk a bit. “She was, indeed, flirting with me. And I didn’t want you to leave, I don’t know why I said that.” When you didn’t reply, he got closer. “Can I come in?” 

“What do you think?” You didn’t move from the door, still looking at him with a frown. 

“I think you want to punch me in the face.” Despite that statement, he held you by the waist. “I’ll make it up to you.” 

You didn’t know the exact way he was offering to make it up, but you didn’t actually care. Because he was there, and he was saying he was sorry. He did care. 

“Okay, you can come in.” When you gave him enough space to do so, he held you fully, embracing you with his arms until you couldn’t breathe properly. 

“You’re still angry, aren’t you?” 

“Of course I’m angry, Jude… But I still love you… Sadly for me.” The last thing you said was in a joking way, trying to get on his nerves as much as he did a few hours ago. Payback and all that. 

“Hey! Not fair! I’m an idiot, yes… But never stop loving me for that.” His face was buried in your neck, so you could feel the vibrations of his voice and the warmth of his breath on your skin. “Never stop loving me, please.” This time, it sounded a bit like begging. 

You took a deep breath, closing your eyes. 

“Never…” And somehow, yours sounded like begging as well. 

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ *  JUDE’S TAGLIST

@mentalbaddie | @taintedstranger | @mrs-dasilvasantoss | @mbapbaesluvr | @roses-arerosies | @cinderellawithashoe | @yoitsmo07 | @seajjin | @kakuchosbff | @peterparkerbae | @alwaysclassyeagle | @itsjuspenny-blog | @lbsmainblog | @youngjayla | @freetimemachinequeen | @chaeryeongstuff | @lazyreadergirl | @trentismine | @ironmaiden1313 | @wavessmile | @jul1ettt | @daydream-er | @citrusjunosart | @pierre-gasssllyy | @avianawrites | @topguncultleader | @blahhhhhbleeplop | @ricsaigasalec | @koufaxx | @xjval | @444pantheress | @f1lover55

[impishjesters]

Mafia Boss Jax x Reader

warning(s): gun mentioned, stalking mentioned, domestic/soft Jax, marriage mentioned note(s): Honestly couldn't really see much worth tagging, it's all just stuff you'd expect to see mentioned in a mafia/gang headcanon... A/N: So I saw a fanart thingie (and I've had it on the brain anyway) and it made me thirsty for some mafia boss Jax and I just... I might have to write up a one-shot (or series) at some point but this was enough to quench my thirst...temporarily. I can definitely see myself building a universe around this idea though. I'm excited as you can tell because I just kept fuckin' going in writing this out... Also feast upon domestic Jax in the latter half, I got mushy...

Jax is a tricky boss, it’s hard to get a solid read on him, as an enemy or an ally. He’s almost always sporting a grin, making it difficult to gauge unless you can tell those smiles apart. If he’s frowning? Ha.

He’s that fine middle ground of laid-back yet strict. His word is law, get shit done and do it right and he doesn’t particularly care about the rest.

This person needs to be killed, but before that, they need to be tortured for information. How you torture or kill them doesn’t matter, you get that information or else.

Rabbits are his motif design, not originally by choice but it stuck. Purple rabbit head, his signature grin, it’s childish—which is why it’s perfect, only idiots see that childish design and think “Oh this will be easy” and then it’s fuckin not.

Working for him means nobody is an exception to his little pranks and fuckery. Nothin’ too bad—not intentionally anyways. Bunch of wackos with guns, who thought they’d get trigger-happy when startled?

If you work for him, chances are he finds you a fun target for his mischief.

He might seem buddy buddy with you, but remember he’s your boss. Chances are you are acquaintances at best, not friends. At least for now—who knows?

If you’re dating him, well howdy hey aren’t you a pretty little thing on his arm?

Just kidding, regardless of whether you work under him or not you are given standard gun training as protection for yourself and him, but mainly yourself.

He does like it when you are his date for any events, though he’ll never say it. Jax is the type to bring up an event and do the whole shtick of “guess I’ll need to find a date” sorta guy.

Back on the topic of dating him and gun training—on the off chance you are dating and don’t know about his little crew and lifestyle… What the fuck’s wrong with you? Are you that blind? His position isn’t some well-kept secret, well not to anyone who knows anything.

Jax is pretty straightforward about it, except with his track record of joking there’s like a 97% chance you thought he was kidding when he said he’s a mafia boss. Ha, surprise.

Now if the two of you are dating, and you aren’t part of his little world then he does do his best to keep you out of it. This means that there are periods when you won’t see him, whether it’s because he’s busy or for safety reasons.

You aren’t safe from spam texts, calls, and video chats though. Nah, that’s all fair game to him baby.

Oh, you got work in the morning? Tough, he’ll stay on the phone/video with you until you pass out—he might go a step further and stay on the call for hours even if you are unconscious.

He does it for one of three reasons…

One, it gives him fuel to use whatever shit you say or do in your sleep to tease you with later.

Two, your company, albeit silent and unaware that you’re keeping him company, makes him feel less alone. Moments like this are often when he’s not working and at home, alone. Hearing you breathe, babble, and shuffle around on speaker has him feeling less alone in that big home of his.

Three, it gives him some piece of mind that you are okay, he can see and hear you, and no guns or glass are breaking to be heard. You’re safe. Moments like this are usually after stressful events, whether it’s a job gone wrong, someone injured, etc.

Those calls usually last through the night into the morning and you wake up and see the call still on or see him on the screen. He’s never told you about why some calls continue into the morning, or rather why he’s still awake when he should’ve been sleeping. Though it doesn’t take a genius to figure out it’s not just him being a stalker, but something more serious—if the oddly sweet tone he uses when telling you good morning and asking how you slept is anything to go by.

That said, Jax is not a morning person—even to you. Though if he’s awake before you or has yet to sleep, he’s oddly tender and domestic when it’s just the two of you.

“How’d ya sleep, angel? Dream of me? Nah, don’t answer that, I know ya did.”

“Hey sleepyhead, got ya coffee and breakfast ready. No, I didn’t put anything suspicious in it. I’m wounded doll, ya think I’d put in all that effort to make you breakfast just to ruin it?”

Okay so he’s still a little shit, but he’s got an unspoken soft spot for you.

Speaking of soft spots, if he’s truly down bad for you then that means you are his weakness. He can’t have those—no he’s not gonna kill ya Christ calm down—that means you’re at risk of getting hurt if word gets out.

So if the two of you aren’t at that level yet and are still living apart, he tries hard to keep his distance to keep the attention off you.

But if you are living together? You’re still at risk but he’s got his security measures, and bodyguards galore—even if you don’t live together he always has someone watching you—sure it’s a little creepy but just don’t think about it alright?

I said don’t think about it.

Jax does yet doesn’t understand the line of stalking. To him he’s keeping you safe, to you it’s likely an invasion of your privacy—but if you are anything like me then as long as there’s no malicious intent he can do his own thing. I dunno bout you but I’d rather him have eyes on me than something bad happen to me.

While living together it doesn’t take a genius to tell you that Jax visibly relaxes in your presence, especially when he comes home and gets into bed with you. He’s such a domestic sucker deep down, but you don’t need words to see that.

Overall, I feel like Jax wouldn’t date you if he didn’t have serious feelings for you. His lifestyle isn’t for everyone and he doesn’t open up to just anyone, it could take years before he finally allows himself to even ask you out on a date before considering more. But once the two of you are together he sees the two of you in for the long run, he’ll probably be upfront about it and say if you aren’t in this for the long run and potential marriage then he can’t do it.

Your Jax’s ride or die, please allow him to be yours too.

[multific]

Sugardaddy Jesse Cromeans - Preference

Jesse Cromeans x Reader

Warnings: Smut

You were nothing like the woman he killed. You were so different and yet, you piqued his interest more than anything.

He knew he needed to have you in one way or another.

You were too precious to kill, so he used the one thing he had, money. 

Seeing just how bad of a financial situation you were in, he knew he didn't need to use much convincing. 

And soon you became his sugarbaby. Although you hated the title so he just called you 'My Girl'. At least that was your name in his phone.

You at first found his text to speech thingy a bit scuffed, but it was a good communication form. And you got used to it quickly.

At the beginning of your relationship, he wouldn't tell you about his hobby. It is because he decided to distance you from his bad side.

You are the most precious flower, how could he ever taint your perfection with such horrible scenes? You were not meant to see blood and bodies laying around. 

He would often tell you that he is on a trip and he would always come back with many many gifts. Forget any clothing you had in the past, Jesse would hire a stylist to help and create a new wardrobe for you.

Clothes, jewellery and anything you can ask for.

It was all yours within moments of you saying anything. No matter the price.

You would fail to notice, but in a way, these techniques were so you wouldn't start poking your nose around. 

He would walk around with you, showing you off to everyone. You wouldn't know why he loved to see you in silver metallic dresses, but who were you to ask?

When he finally decided to share that side of him with you, if you were honest, you kind of expected it.

He was happy to see you not freaking out, he paid special attention to you and you not even once tried to call the cops.

He loved that.

It was proof you were fully his.

And as a reward, he planned a romantic weekend.

Now, sex with him before and after knowing wouldn't be different.

First and foremost, he would never do something you are not comfortable with. Communication is key. So expect him to bring up topics like that during dinner.

He loved to tie you down. Of course, he is the dominant, no matter what position you two are in.

You would call him Daddy, of course. 

Loves to hear you moan and groan. Wants you to keep making those sounds, he even records them if you give permission. He would use it as your notification sound.

Imagine him, sitting in an important meeting, all business, everyone serious and then, you send a text. Your loud moans echo in his meeting room, everyone freezes as he reaches into his pocket and replies to your text. No one dares to ask. No one dares to comment or even give a side eye to him.

In bed, he could be rough, never to the point of hurting you. He would love to edge, overstimulate and make you squirt. Even if you say you can't, doesn't mean he wouldn't try.

Aftercare with him is always sweet.

He would never run off after, he would stay and make sure you are okay. You can be fucked out to the point of being delirious, he would always take care of you. Clean you, shower you, and give you many many kisses.

Being his sugarbaby would not last longer than a couple years, because after having you around long enough, he would have to have you fully to himself so he would ask you to marry him.

Taglist: @fleursirvart @greenarrowhead @thisismysecrethappyplace @sincerelyfan @theoneanna @aestheticsandmarvel @rororo06 @castellandiangelo @destynelseclipsa @spilledinkindumpster @capsiclesdoll @puknow @alwayshave-faith @soleil-dor @alex12948 @lxdyred  @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl @anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek @praline357 @trshngyn @avengers-r-us @violet-19999 @top1bbgloak​

~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

             DO NOT REPOST OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORKS

[gallawitchxx]

hi beeee!! i hope you're doing okay 💖💖💖

ooohohohoho okay for the kiss thingy: god knows why cuz it sounds potentially very painful but i feel so compelled to request 28 🙏

sweet deanna! i'm hanging in, thanks love! 💖 so you & @lingy910y both requested #28 & i want to fill both of your prompts. but because you were (rightfully) afraid of pain, i gave you one that's a bit strange, but has a promisingly happy ending? you can be the judge! xx

- - - - -

send me a number & i'll write you a smoocheroo 😚

- - - - -

#28: ...as a lie ps. this is inspired by this post about dealer!mickey & insomniac!ian, who have now rotted my brain.

Ian hasn’t slept in days.

It’s happened before—endless energy is one of his tried-and-true symptoms of mania—but this isn’t that. He’s taking his meds, his skin isn’t crawling and his mind is fairly quiet. Quiet enough to frustrate him as he tosses and turns and wonders what the fuck’s going on.

His schedule has been all over the place lately; his normal routine lost to the endless cycles of employment and Gallagher family responsibilities. He’d been hoping to add school to the mix this semester so that he could have other, less hectic options than a rig-riding EMT, but he’d pushed it off. A pity, now that all-nighters are apparently his thing.

Night two, he googles a few things, which is a huge mistake. Who can fall asleep after reading about how even just twenty-four hours without sleep can begin to derail your bodily systems? Sleep deprivation can cause or worsen conditions like Type 2 diabetes, High blood pressure, Stroke, Heart attack—his pulse leaps as his phone clatters to the ground.

Night three, he takes to the streets, running around the Southside until his lungs burn and his knees wobble. As he passes the clinic that gave his seventeen-year-old self a lifetime prescription for antipsychotics, he knows that if this lasts much longer, he should call his doctor. Tell them his nighttime meds aren’t putting him to sleep anymore. Nip this insomnia thing in the bud before it can overthrow the delicate balance he’s worked so hard to maintain.

Night four, desperate and a bit delusion, he pulls up a number he hasn’t used in years, saved under a contact labeled, DO NOT TEXT.

He breaks his own rule: Hey. Still making house calls?

The response is almost immediate: the fuck u care for?

Ian rolls his bloodshot eyes, typing: It’s an emergency.

Three little dots herald a response that makes him laugh: a weed emergency?

He stays strong: Wouldn’t ask if I didn’t need it.

The next text makes his chest clench: u ok?

He decides to keep it vague—I can’t sleep, but it’s not what you think.—and hopes he doesn’t have to explain further and is relieved to read: u want ur usual?

Another clench: Indica

Two texts arrive in rapid succession: what else do u want? can i give u head while u smoke or no?

There it is: the reason Ian doesn’t use this number anymore.

Maybe in another life it would be a blessing to have a weed dealer to lovers arc with your childhood crush, but in this one, it was a curse. A curse that lasted almost a whole year, bringing with it an endless bouquet of blissful fucks and free weed, and a million moments of tenderness Ian knew nobody else was getting out of the guy. A curse that eventually came to collect payment in the form of bloodied knuckles, broken hearts and ego wounds. A curse that still clings to Ian’s psyche, filling his dreams with gentle, tattooed fingers and bright blue eyes and a sweet and savory scent that can only be described as Mickey.

Mickey, now DO NOT TEXT.

On second thought, maybe he should never sleep again.

The knock at the door makes him hard—a Pavlovian response that irks him more than the three sleepless nights he’s suffered so far. Three raps, one right after the other. The last one no more than a brush of his hand.

Ian adjusts himself and answers the door.

Fuck, one look at that smug asshole and he’s immediately right back in it. Lust and like and maybe even a little bit of reckless fucking love fill his body, rising to the surface like sweet cream. A layer of fat on the roof of one’s mouth; a treat to lick later, a reminder that they didn’t end things because they weren’t insanely hot for one another and potentially soulmates. They were just idiots. Stubborn, petty dicks.

Oh Pride, the great slayer of men.

Jesus, he needs to sleep.

“First one’s on the house,” Mickey says as he crosses the threshold, a joint held tightly between C and K.

Hours slip by. They laugh, they smoke. It feels like old times. Ian’s body is loose in a way it hasn’t been in years. It feels good. Like maybe-he-could-sleep-tonight good. And as he melts further into the couch, he starts to get a little horny too. Because Mickey’s yapping on and on about some asshole that frequents the bar he works at, and Ian’s listening, he swears he’s listening, but he’s also staring at Mickey’s mouth like he wants to take Mickey up on that text message and shut him the fuck up with his dick.

Like he wants to taste the stale smoke of his tongue.

Wants him to stay the night.

Forever, maybe.

Mickey finishes his story. His eyes go soft and he drums his fingers against his knee. “Should get outta your hair, Gallagher,” he says. “Letcha sleep.”

That’s the last thing Ian wants.

“Not tired,” he fibs.

Mickey cocks an eyebrow. “You’re not? ’S been days, man. This shit’s gotta be hittin’ ya by now.”

It’s true. It has been days and this shit is hitting him. Or maybe he’s having a sleep-deprivation-induced stroke. He just knows Mickey can’t go.

“Can’t go to sleep without a goodnight kiss.”

Mickey’s already leaning in when he asks, “Then you promise you’ll hit the hay?”

Ian nods as Mickey presses a kiss to his lying lips.

[hyunfilms]

blue side of the sky (lmh) | nine.

♡ spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: waking up after 3 months with no recollection of your past, your friends do what they can to help you remember. except, they omit an important piece to the puzzle - afraid you would remember the heartbreak and hurt all over again.

—pairing: lee know x f. reader

—genre: (18+) exes to lovers, bestfriends to lovers au | fluff, angst, (eventual) smut

—word count: 3.4k

—chapter content/warnings: somewhat of another filler bcos ch.10 gonna be quite the ride 😫 but more focused on oc x minho getting closer and cuter!! cussing/mature language, mentions of alcohol consumption / intoxication / hangovers (not oc), lots of text exchanges lol sorry, oc getting back into the world!

"I feel like I'm still hungover." Jisung says over the phone, pretending to gag. You laugh a bit and shake your head, kicking off the dirt on the bottom of your shoes before entering the pottery classroom.

"Yeah, you were a mess." 

"Was I really?"

"Kinda? You plopped onto the bed and fell asleep in such a weird position."

"Was I loud?" 

"A bit."

☁︎ FLASHBACK | NIGHT AT THE HOTEL

"Cielo!" You hear Jisung's voice through the room door. "Cieloooo, I can't find the keycard thingy." He laughs. "Cieloooooo!" He repeats loudly in a sing-song tone. You let out a small yawn as you step out of bed and hurriedly help your bestfriend into the room. 

"Ji, people are sleeping."

"Sorry! Oop—" He yells, then switches up to a loud whisper. "Sorry! I'm just soooo glad to see you."

"I am too." You chuckle. "How are you feeling?" He smiles, stumbling his way into the room and onto the bed. He plops down face-first, body laid sideways as he mumbles into the sheets and tosses his hat to the floor.

"Think I'm pretty drunk, the world feels all loopy. Unless.. am I in the upside down? You know, that weird, dark place in the show Stranger Things? Looks like it'd smell bad." He hiccups and kicks off his shoes.

"You're not." You sleepily giggle.

"You sure? Kinda feels like it—"

"You should get yourself comfy, pachi. And drink some water." You place a water bottle on the nightstand and let out another yawn. "You're gonna be okay, right? Should I call Minho?"

"Ew, god no. Don't call him." He whines. "Please Don't call Minho. He's going to yell at me and shit. I'm the fun one between us two." You chuckle and slip back into bed. "Beeeeesides, I-I said I was fine." He hiccups again.

"Prove it by getting changed and getting into bed."

"Fine. Ugh." He groans as he groggily gets up and stumbles against the wall, grabbing his pajamas from the end of the bed before walking into the bathroom. A few items drop in there, followed by Jisung's tiny complaints to himself. You finally hear the sink turn on, signaling that Jisung was brushing his teeth and getting freshened up for bed. He swings the door open and shuts off the lights, tossing his clothes onto his suitcase before jumping back into his position on the bed. "Happy?" His face is planted sideways on the sheets, so you can see when he shuts his eyes the moment exhaustion begins to take over his body.

"Just want you comfortable, Ji." You snap a photo as you sink back into bed and send it to Minho. Just as Jisung starts to hum to himself and slowly drift to sleep, Minho responds to your text.

you: he's home!

minho: jeez, look at him

minho: still don't wanna switch? 😅

you: haha no, it's okay. he's about to fall asleep. thank you though. ☺️

minho: alright. just call me if he starts being gross and throws up.

you: hope not! don't worry. thanks minho. goodnight!

minho: goodnight y/n.

☁︎ END

"Cielo, be honest." Jisung whines a bit. "I couldn't even ask yesterday because I needed to sleep on the way back. I would've thrown up." You giggle.

"It's fine. You were okay, and you were safe. That's all that matters."

"Also, how the hell did Minho know I was slumped? He was on another floor."

"I just let him know you were home, that's all."

"With a picture?!"

"Proof." You shrug to yourself as you put your bag down. "Well, I'm here."

"Good. Have fun, cielo. Let me know when you're ready?"

"I can take the train and bus back."

"You can, but I also don't want you to overexert yourself again."

"Hm." You hum. "Okay. I'll text you."

"Cool." And with that, you hang up and prepare yourself for today's class. Though, it is hard to focus because you find yourself reminiscing about the weekend's festivities.

It was fun.

It was nice to be surrounded by loved ones.

It felt normal.

And although you were glad to spend that time with everyone, you were especially glad to finally have some time with Minho. He's been such a mystery. Not that you wanted to force anything between you two, but you were hoping to talk to him. Get to know him, understand him.

Be his bestfriend in one way or another.

It felt weird? Incomplete.

So, that was nice.

It felt normal.

As class goes on, you continue to work on a few household items— a mug, plate, bowl. You're starting to feel more comfortable, as if the muscle memory was stringing along right at your fingertips. You felt content with today's class, and you were excited to head back to the floral shop to play around with more arrangements you've had in mind. 

When class unfortunately comes to an end, you take your time cleaning up your area before grabbing your things and brushing yourself down. You wave at your instructor before clutching into your tote bag, making your way out of the store and towards the floral shop.

It wasn't busy.

"Um, hi." You approach the counter shyly with a few different, smaller bouquets and small plants. "I'm not sure if you remember me—"

"Of course, I do! How could I forget that pretty face?" The lady chuckles. "How did your bouquet arrangement turn out, love? Ready for more I see." You chuckle and approach the counter, placing down the small bouquets in your arms.

"I think I did alright." You show her a picture just as she's ringing you up. 

"Wow, you really have an eye for colors and that monstera leaf in the back? What a great touch." She smiles.

"You think so?"

"I mean it." She looks at you. "You're hired." She laughs it off as a joke, which makes you feel a little shy knowing you actually came to see if she was hiring.

"Actually.." She tilts her head to look at you while you hand her some cash. "I did want to ask if you were hiring. I haven't worked in quite some time, but I can be of help if you needed." She softly smiles and nods.

"I would love that, but I wouldn't be able to pay you well. It's just little ol' me running this shop." She nervously chuckles.

"It's okay. I just.. want to be out of the house, doing things I enjoy again." She cocks up a brow, afraid to ask what you mean— but you give her a quick, vague explanation anyway. "I got into a car accident and I was in the hospital for awhile." She gives you a sympathetic look, making you shake your head in return. "I'm okay. I just want to keep moving forward."

"Can you start tomorrow then? 9am." You give her a soft, toothless smile and nod just as a couple walks into the shop. "We can talk a little bit more about details."

"I can." You step back and acknowledge her once more with another nod. "I will see you tomorrow. Thank you." You feel silly accepting the job when you don't even know her name, but she picks up on this quick— smiling at you before she finally reveals what you've been thinking about for the past few minutes:

"Mrs. Pak." 

"Mrs. Pak." And with that, you walk out of the shop. You check your surroundings once more to see how busy it is at this time of day. It's a colder day; the sun is out, but the wind is a bit stronger than usual. Not too many people are walking around and it feels quiet than other days.

You head down towards Sunday Morning to quickly pop in for a visit just to see how everyone was doing. You figured it might be slow since there wasn't heavy foot traffic happening. Besides, you haven't heard much from Minho since the weekend and you wonder if he's okay.

Your mind wanders to him, lately.

Surprisingly, it is actually empty in the store. There's a notice on the front door that lists special hours for the next few days. You check your phone and realize you have 10 minutes before the café closes for today. You pop in anyway, catching Minho wiping away at the front counter. He looks up when he sees someone walk in through his peripherals, slowing his pace when he realizes it's you.

Yet again.

Which, he's relieved— let's get that straight. If it were anybody else, he'd shoo them away even if he had 10 minutes left until closing. He wasn't in the mood to deal, no.

But with you, he'd always make an exception.

"Y/N, hey." Minho tosses the rag to the side. "What can I get you?"

"Oh no." You chuckle as you walk towards him. "I'm sorry, I know you're pretty much closed and I don't mean to barge in. I just wanted to say hi and see how everyone was doing.. but you're alone?"

"Ah, so you came for JJ and Soobin." You laugh and shake your head.

"I came for you, mainly. If that makes you feel any better." He laughs a bit.

"I'm kidding. But, it does make me feel a bit better." 

"You've been quiet since the wedding."

"Well, it's JJ's turn to leave. It's my aunt's birthday, so he's out of town to celebrate." You nod. 

"That explains why you're closing early for the next few days."

"Mhm. I have workshops to teach."

"I see."

"Soobin left not too long ago." 

"I'll catch him next time then. I'm glad you're doing okay."

"I'm alright." He looks at you. "Did you have fun over the weekend? Besides Jisung being loudly drunk and annoying?" You laugh.

"It was fun."

"It was."

"Thanks again for walking with me that night."

"Course." His eyes linger on you for a little longer than you're used to and it makes you shy. "You sure you don't want anything?"

"No." You shake your head. "I should probably call Ji to come pick me up—"

"I mean.. I'm closing soon so I can take you home. I have enough time before class. Plus, not that I care much for him but it'll save him a trip." He shrugs as he teases.

"Are you sure?"

"To what, both? Yeah." You giggle. "Just let me finish cleaning these down and we'll be out of here, okay?"

"Alright." You watch as Minho officially flips the 'open' sign to 'closed.' "Thank you, Minho."

"No problem." He gives you a toothless smile before proceeding with his cleaning.

you: minho said he can take me home

jisung: why is he abandoning his café

jisung: doesn't he have shit to make, errr whatever?

you: stop. lol. JJ is out of town so he's closing the café earlier for the next few days.

jisung: ahhh i see

jisung: what about his dance class?

you: he said it's fine

jisung: arrrrright then

jisung: you sure you're good? i'm just wrapping something up

you: yeah i am, i'll go with him. why? you sound unsure?

jisung: nah. sorry cielo, i just wanted to make sure it was okay.

you: it is, promise. i'll text you when i get home?

jisung: mmkay, sounds good!

"Alright." Minho says, coming out of the back as he unties his apron and hangs it up. "Ready?" He shuts off the lights to the back and double checks everything on the counter.

"Whenever you are." You give him a small smile. He starts to lead the way, checking his surroundings before shutting off the lights and locking the front door. "Were you and Soobin okay today?"

"Yeah. We have someone else come in from time to time, but she has limited availability cause of school." You nod.

"That's good you have more help." You let Minho lead you to his car, allowing him to open the door for you. You slip in and buckle yourself in, silently waiting for Minho to settle into the driver's seat. It's quiet for awhile, even as his music starts to softly play in the background. "Wait, this won't be a trip for you since you have to get back into town for class?"

"No." He shakes his head. "I don't mind the drive. Kinda a stress reliever."

"Alright then." You chuckle.

"Did you tell Jisung?"

"Yeah." Minho slowly nods. "I think he felt bad, he kept asking if I was sure. Or, if you were okay with it." Minho knows it's not that— maybe 2% of it, actually. The other 98%? Jisung being overprotective and trying to shield you from him. But, can Minho blame him? 

Yes and no?

He'll expect the questions later, even if Jisung tries to beat around the bush about it.

"It's fine. He's probably worried I'll end up beating his ass for it." You chuckle.

"You won't right?"

"No." He smirks a bit. "Not yet."

"Minho." You whine a bit.

"I'm kidddddding." He elongates his response. "It's really not a problem. I don't mind the drive, I told you."

"Okay. You said so." You shrug a bit, making him laugh. It's cute. You were always worried about Jisung because that boy had a tendency to be way too impulsive, on top of already chaotic. He was a recipe for disaster growing up. But, it was never to this extent, where you're whining and showing off those puppy eyes. "Guess what?" You turn to him and Minho cocks a brow up.

"Hm?"

"I got a job at the floral shop."

"Down the street from the café?" You nod. "Nice. You feel ready for it?" 

"I think so. It'll be fun. At least, I think it will be."

"It will. You'll be doing what you love. You're good at what you do, Y/N."

"Am I?" You giggle.

"You are. You have always been." Minho says, avoiding eye contact. He still remembers your drawings he's stashed away. The random paintings, the little sculptures and figurines you'd make him in Ceramics class. He still has it. He could never toss it out.

"I hope I get there again."

"You will. Baby steps. Any progress is progress."

"Right." 

"You'll be fine, Y/N."

"Thanks, Minho." You yawn a bit as you look out the window. The rest of the ride is quiet, but it's a comfortable silence. Minho looks over every now and then, a tiny smile forming at the corners of his lips before he returns his attention to the road.

It's you.

You're here.

You're breathing.

It's you.

Suddenly, your phone dings on your lap and Minho can't help but quickly glance over. He sees you smile a bit before unlocking your phone, clicking on the message to respond right away. Minho nibbles on his bottom lip while he watches you every now and then in his peripherals, probably sending off messages to one other person he can think of—

san: how'd it go?!

you: it went well! i got it. ☺️

san: i knew you would, i think she really adored you from the beginning. lol. how couldn't she?

you: lol ya right!

san: you'll be a big help to her. 😊 let's hang out soon, celebratory dinner or something? on me.

you: you spoil me too much, lol. but sure! that'll be fun.

san: nah, it's nothing. let's go this upcoming week. lmk when you're free after you get your schedule or something.

you: okay. ☺️

san: 😊 have a good evening, y/n.

You finally shut off your phone and start looking out the window again, giving Minho some relief as he continues to drive off.

"Everything okay?" He asks to play it off.

"Mhm!" You look at him with that look, one that could make him immediately melt. "San was asking how it went at the floral shop. He wants to hang out soon to celebrate."

"Do you hang out often?"

"We have, from time to time. He calls a lot to check on me."

"Hm. That's nice." Is all he says. It's all he has to say. Respectfully.

"Yeah." You chuckle a bit to yourself before looking back out at the window, resting your head against the side. Minho thinks you're probably trying to offset the slight motion sickness with the way you shut your eyes for a bit. Luckily, you don't have much longer until you're home.

Sooner or later, Minho is arriving at your house and a huge wave of nostalgia washes over him again. He sets the car in park, watching as you unbuckle your seatbelt and gather your things.

"Thanks for bringing me home, Minho." You look at him softly. "I appreciate it."

"Course." He gives you a toothless smile. "Do you need help?" 

"Ah, no. I'll be okay." You giggle. "Have fun at class? You should really get some rest."

"I'll try." 

"Good." You give him a smile before shutting the door and making your way towards the side of the house. Just as you reach the side gate, you turn to give Minho one last wave before stepping inside. Minho drives off contently, unsure of this lingering feeling of emptiness he's been experiencing since that night of the hotel.

Since every night after the accident.

But, since that night at the hotel especially.

Before he can even dig deeply into his feelings, his phone vibrates and lights up in the middle console. He's hoping it's a text from you, thinking you probably forgot something, thinking you just want to thank him for the ride again.

It's not.

kat: hey, wanna swing by? i think we should talk about the last time you came by. i'm sorry.

He feels everything within him drop to the pit of his stomach, energy drained and mood soured. He quickly thinks about that night at Kat's and how she had the audacity to bring you up with that specific tone. 

No.

minho: i appreciate that, but i don't think i'll be coming by. too tired.

kat: oookay.. kinda hate how weird you've been towards me

minho: sorry, just lots going on. jj's gone so i have to hold down the fort for the café

kat: i see. alrighty then, goodnight minho.

Minho debates on saying goodnight back, but he doesn't. And if it's one thing this conversation showed him— it's the fact that he's done. 

This is done.

☁︎ FLASHBACK | A WEEKEND DURING SOPHOMORE YEAR IN COLLEGE

"I have something for you." You sit in Minho's passenger seat with your hands tucked into your jacket, a huge smile breaking out on your face.

"What is it?" Minho cocks a brow up while chuckling at you.

"Close your eyes! Please. Close your eyes." Minho groans a bit but does as he's told. "Yay, thank you!" You giggle, holding the tiny gift in the palm of your hand for a second. You watch as he sighs a bit, the impatience starting to take over bit by bit.

"Y/N?"

"Oops, I forgot it." You joke.

"You can't be serious—" He whines with his eyes still closed.

"Kidding! I wouldn't do that!"

"I wouldn't put it past you."

"Hey!" You say before adjusting your position in his seat. "Here." He opens his eyes, watching as you hand him the little Pusheen looking figurine you made him in ceramics. 

"Aw." Minho laughs. "How cute is this? The eye is lopsided."

"No the fuck it's not! How dare you!"

"Dude, look at it." 

"You're such a dick." Minho laughs louder and shakes his head. 

"I'm kidding, babe. It's cute, I love it. Thank you." He smiles brightly at you before gently grabbing at your wrist to pull you over the console. He places a kiss on your cheek, before moving to the tip of your nose, to your lips. You giggle in between, making Minho repeatedly peck you with more small kisses. 

"I'm glad you like it. It was a random thing I made in between."

"Of course I do. I'll put this on my desk, where I can see it every single day. Okay?"

"Kay." You laugh before giving him one last kiss. "I should probably go, my uncle is probably wondering where I'm at."

"Do you really have to go home this weekend?" You chuckle.

"I need to spend time with my grandparents, so yes. I'll be back tomorrow evening!"

"That's too far." He furrows his brows, making you softly smack his forehead with a laugh.

"I'll be back before you know it. You have Chan, Seungmo and Jisung! Make sure Jisung doesn't do dumb shit." You start to unbuckle your seatbelt. "Thanks for driving me home, babe." He smiles. "I love you!"

"I love you, too." He says. "Hey, wait?" You look back just as you step out of the car. "One more for the road?" He smirks before puckering his lips. You lean down and give him one last kiss before shoving him away by the forehead, earning a loud laugh from Minho as you shut the door and walk off. You wave him goodbye just as you step to your front door, unlocking it and stepping inside— giving Minho the clear to drive off.

☁︎ END

♡ taglist: @ppiri-bahng @jihanlovic @meloncremesoda @sweetlikecherry @hoes4lino @skzddicted @skzho @edgaralienpoe @harui-zen @bestleeknowstan @havenwithleeknow @septicrebel @heesdazed @borahae-reads @yoontaethings @pearbunny @bintificreads @lukeys-giggle @ajxreads @everglowdaisies @allaboutsan @endzii23 @leeknowsramen @heres-your-ramen2000 @morningstardada @mal-lunar-28 @downbadreading @lilysophie @feelikecinderella @urmomma0324 @ddazed-lhs @djeniryuu @melanctton @i8rsie @maru-matt @sleepyleeji @taerifin @nattisbored @jisunglyricist @m111nho @drhsthl @nixtape-foryou @arminseas @guiltycoco @syuuji @sulkygyu @cadihyo @reianagarcia @leeknowyah @smndjdufuehr [bold = couldn’t tag 🥺]

[rrenzwrld]

secreto de amor VII

chapter 7! read chapter 6 here

“y/n~i need to talk to you.”

“you always need to talk to me. talk to your other friends.”

“don’t get smart with me. i just wanted to remind you about the business trip i’m going on. i leave next wednesday.” jean worked with a company that providing them with relaxing trips out of the country twice a year because they know how taxing the job can be.

“where you going this time?”

“it’s actually a cruise, going to the bahamas. i’ll be gone for two weeks tho, much longer than last time.”

“two weeks??” that caught your attention. you were used to jean and his trips but you’ve never been left alone for two weeks.

“i figured you don’t need a babysitter because you’re 18 but some people will swing by to check on you.”

“you tell—“

“yes i told mom and dad. they’ll come check on you and if you get scared just stay over there.”

“anything else i need to know?”

“nope, think that’s all. love you!” jean closed the door behind him. although it was only tuesday and he had about a week to prepare, it shouldn’t worry him about leaving you. he knew that you were a good kid, you don’t cause trouble , and you’re practically already independent apart from you living with him. so he didn’t know why he was feeling weird about all of this.

later on that day, you called tia to have your daily conversation and some interesting things were brought up.

“you said he said what now?”

“just reposting tweets n shit and relationships, talkin bout some ‘i’ll take my old bitch over a new bitch any day’” the dude in question was your ex you dated for two years until he cheated. he was your first and last boyfriend and luckily you hadn’t lost your virginity to him or else you’d be going mad even now.

“a weirdo for real. remind me why you follow him again?”

she shrugged. “to be nosy. give us something to talk about.”

“valid.”

“your brother still going on the trip thingy?”

“yeah, why?”

“just asking. don’t he always go around the same time?”

“yeah but i didn’t think you were paying attention. he’s gonna be gone for two weeks this time.”

“two weeks?? oh you’ll be dead before he gets back.”

“don’t say that! i can handle myself fine for two weeks.”

“you don’t even sound like you believe yourself. but look at the bright side,” you rolled your eyes as you already knew what would come next. “connie can come over without any interruptions and he’ll stay and keep you company, and then~” tia started clapping her hands and moaning.

you laughed. “i fucking hate you. i don’t even think about him like that, he 22.”

“so? older dick be the best dick.”

“i’m gonna hang up on you.”

“it’s okay if you wanna hang up on me to call your man.”

“i don’t have a man.”

“sure..”

next wednesday rolled around quicker than you thought and it didn’t seem real to you up until you saw your brother all packed up in suit and tie.

“why you dressed up? i thought you were going on the trip to relax.”

“there’s a meeting right before we board the plane.” you nodded as you watched your brother put on his dress shoes. “are you sure you’ll be okay? you’ll call or text if you need anything right?”

“yes, i’ll be okay. just have fun.”

“i already called everyone to let them know so some one would be there everyday to check on you. and don’t throw any parties or anything while i’m gone.”

“i’ll try not to.” you joked. but he knew you weren’t like that. the most you’d probably do is have tia sleep over or something and just the two of you do stupid shit in the comfort of your own home.

“well,” he started as you helped him load the last of his things in his car. “i love you, i’ll be back in two weeks. i’ll call and text everyday, just don’t die on me.” he laughed while he pulled you into a tight embrace

“i won’t die, promise.”

after the both of you struggled to let go, you bid him a formal farewell as you watched him back out the parking lot, “love you too, be safe!”

after all that, it was weird having the place to yourself but you’d just operate how you would normally do. the only difference was that jean wasn’t present and you had to get used to that. but as he said, over the two weeks, people came to check on you every day.

you had visits from your older stepbrother elliot snd his girlfriend, your mom, your stepdad, and even your biological dad who really just started speaking to you after your mom remarried. but family wasn’t the only people who were there for you. you had visits from sasha who you’d hang out with from time to time, and sleepovers with your friend tia. but one person you really should’ve saw coming was connie. but you didn’t know how you felt just yet.

“y/n~” you heard connie call out to you from your room but he stopped in the doorway when he made it. “your brother told me to—“

“check up on me?”

“yeah, but.. a little more than that.”

“what?”

“he gave me a key, see?” he held it up proudly but you were shocked and maybe a bit upset.

“when did he give you a key? and why?” connie walked into your room and sat at the chair by your desk.

“he wants me to check on you

everyday—“

“people do that already.”

“yeah but he wants me to check on you everyday.. for multiple times a day.”

“so i don’t have a choice.. but to see you everyday?”

“multiple times a day, yes.” he smiles. “but that makes it easier for us to get to know each other.”

“don’t you have things to do? like work or..?”

“yeah but i’ll just come here after.” you rolled your eyes. although jean suspected that connie was trying something with you, he still trusted connie to keep you safe if anything else.

“whatever.” you went back to whatever you were doing.

“right,” connie stood up to walk out the room. “and imma need your number or something.”

“to track me?”

“no, just to keep in contact with you. weirdo.” he laughed. you were the weirdo? you ended up putting your number in his phone and he put his number in yours. “i turned locations on by the way. i’ll be back, bye!” he left before you could even get on him about it.

[kanaglows]

Hello sisnaoakaoiakwiqoaiaiauqiak I just saw your post today and im really excited since I havent seen much posts regarding pjsk x reader stuff. That out of the way, can I request for pjsk boys as your husband (seperated) or them as college boys? Disjisjsusisuauqhq that's all and I hope my request isn't weird or anything 🥲🥲

eeee first request, thanks for requesting me iuhjwsbdah i went with the husband thingy if that's alright with you, feel free to send another request if you still want the college boy thing, anon ☺️ also, i apologise if me and my writing feel a bit dry, i tend to feel a bit tense on the first few requests but i'll loosen up soon hjusdfj

style: bullets/hcs

notes: gender-neutral reader

Project Sekai Boys As Your Husband (Separate)

Tsukasa Tenma

He affectionately calls you nicknames like his co-star and his starlight

While he's busy during the day rehearsing for his shows, your job allows you to have more time for housework so you do chores around the house a lot. He feels guilty about not having a lot of time to do stuff so as soon as he gets home he immerses himself in chores to make up for it 😭

He frequently takes you out because he feels even worse about not spending more time with you throughout the day

On weekends, you have a special little tradition where you watch musicals together (sometimes bootlegs because musicals can cost a lot to watch online 😕)

He's totally smitten by you and often wonders how he was able to get such a great catch

Rui Kamishiro

You two are partners in crime. That said, you don't go too far with the crazy ideas.

As much as you love how creative he can be, you have to remind Rui not to blow up the house and bother the neighbours with explosions.

You have mini prank wars all the time, the winner is often decided by who pulls the most impressive ones

There's a lot more to Rui than pranks and explosions! If you're having a bad day, he always whips something up in his workshop to cheer you up. You'd be surprised how little time he needs to make something if he applies himself.

Rui can struggle with ideas but just spending time with you is enough to fill his head with tons of them

Akito Shinonome

You can be irritating but he loves you a lot ☺️

Karaoke is a frequent thing for the two of you, Akito doesn't like to say it out loud but he loves your singing voice and that's why he suggests karaoke so much.

He gets a bit embarrassing expressing his feelings through words but that doesn't mean he loves you any less, he does his best to show his affection through actions.

Akito's protective but not possessive. When you go out he will ask you where you're going but solely out of safety concerns- he trusts you and would never suspect you of anything wrong.

Toya Aoyagi

He's literally so sweet 😭If anything's up he'll go through any obstacle to help, his father didn't support him much in his childhood so he's decided to support his loved ones much better than his father could ever support him.

Toya's a dry texter, if you text him anything, ANYTHING AT ALL, he will somehow find a way to respond in the most monotone way ever. It's not intentional but you find it hilarious when he responds to a meme with a simple "haha".

Mornings are peaceful. Usually, the two of you just sit in the kitchen in your PJs together drinking coffee in silence.

He's an awful cook but he tries his best. In an attempt to help him out, you cook with him and give him some tips. Your help is beneficial but that doesn't mean that it won't always end in disaster. After training him for a while, Toya was trusted with the duty of making dinner. He decided to make Thai green curry with noodles however, when he realised that you were out of noodles and coconut milk he substituted them with spaghetti and cow milk. Havoc embarked and later that night, you were served a dire bowl of spaghetti in milk. You couldn't touch the meal and ordered takeaway pizza for the two of you instead 😭

[beabeemu]

All this time

Itoshi Rin x Reader

Pregnancy trope!! Summary: After getting pregnant by Rin at the age of 16, deciding that not telling him about is the best thing you could do for him. Considering his soccer career, you would only get in the way.

SERIES!!!

Next part: Pt. 2!!! Pt. 3!!! Pt. 4!!!! Pt.5!!!

MASTER LIST; TAGLIST FORM

(join my Taglist so that you can get notified for the next part!!)

“Shit…” 

Staring at the pregnancy test in my hands, with 2 lines. 

2 lines… 

Fuck 

‘I always thought that I won’t get pregnant, because well… I hate kids 

Fuck, I hate kids 

Will I hate my kid too? 

Should I abort it? 

Mom would kill me 

No that’s wrong 

My whole family would kill me. 

They’d kill me either way because I’m pregnant.’ 

Who would’ve thought that I’d be pregnant 

At 16 

And how the fuck do I tell him?

.

.

.

.

.

“Ok, it seems that you’re baby is healthy. Would you like to know the gender?” 

Staring at the screen where my baby is, I think I’m getting the hang of this, ultrasound thing. I looked at the doctor who was holding the machine thingy, she was my third doctor because the other 2 were super judgy. 

“Sure! Wouldn’t hurt to know right? “ 

“Don’t you want to have a gender reveal party? Love, it’s your first child after all” 

Said mom, who was beside me. She finally got her head around that I was pregnant. Dad however is still awkward, along with my whole family. Apart from my close cousins of course. I didn’t tell him yet. Mom doesn’t know who it is. I just lied to her and told her that I forgot his name and that I didn’t get his number. Which was all a lie, I still remember his face from that night. 

I mean how could you forget a face like his? He is Itoshi Rin Afterall. 

“Nah, no one would probably come anyways” 

“Don’t say that honey, I’m sure your cousins would like to come, and your friends” 

“I think I’d rather just lay low” 

“If that's what you want honey” 

“Ok, so the gender of your baby is a-” 

.

.

.

Looking at his contact name, resisting the urge to text him and say “I’m pregnant and you’re the father” 

But I knew that it wouldn’t end well, I’d only be a burden to him, hold him back. And the last thing I need right now is to be stuck in a relationship like that. I don’t even know how we ended up having sex that night. 

We’ve known each other since we were in grade school, we were neighbors, But then their family moved, and we kept in contact, But later this year, we’ve only been briefly chatting with each other again. Then we met up 8 months ago, we had a few drinks, and one thing led to another, and now we’re here. 

I did try to contact him, but then I remembered him telling me that he was gonna go to a soccer camp called blue lock. So I made that a reason as to why he’s not messaging back. 

And, without even telling him about our daughter, I already know how it’s gonna go. 

He’ll probably say some shit like ‘I have to focus on soccer right now, but when I can I’ll visit you’ 

Then he will visit every few months, considering he might go pro in soccer, he’ll be busy and I’ll be here, stuck in the past. Struggling to get to the future with my baby. I don’t want my child to be in an unpredictable relationship with Rin, I mean we all know how Rin is, he is just so hell-bent on beating his brother, and I don’t want to get in the way of that. This is for the best. It will be better if Rin doesn’t know. I don’t want my daughters’ first heartbreak to be caused by her father. 

Do I have any intention of telling him? I don’t know 

But ever since getting pregnant I’ve gotten more curious and more excited about meeting my baby, I’ve grown attached to her, which is good. Because I want nothing more for my daughter other than to be happy. And I’ll make sure to give her all the happiness in the world. Even if it means being alone. 

.

.

.

A cry filled in the delivery room, I finally felt my muscles let loose, and I saw the doctors wiping my daughter clean. Then they handed her to me. Hair as red as mine, I can already see the resemblance of her father on her face. The nose, the eyes, the eyelashes if Rin were to see her, he would immediately ask whether she was his.

The second I held her, I fell in love. Because everything was gonna change now, I won't be alone, she’ll be with me through everything. I don’t even care if Rin knows or not, as long as she’s with me. 

After a few minutes, they started cleaning me up, and they took my baby to the monitor room. When they left the nurse asked what her name was gonna be. 

“Rei” 

likes and reblogs are always appreciated!!

Next part: Pt. 2!!! Pt. 3!!! Pt. 4 !!! Pt. 5!!! Pt. 6

Taglist Form!!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for ignoring my friend (? idrk where we r now in friendship terms)

So basically I (14F) was gonna eat with my friend (14F) during lunch period at school, my other friend (14M, lets call him A) texted me and said ‘hey do u wanna sit with me?’ and i responded with ‘sorry i’m sitting with my other friend today !!!’ and then put my phone away (my phone is on silent btw so i didn’t hear them send me any texts other than that) so i thought that was that cause they are a pretty understanding friend and i went to go eat lunch.

In 3rd period after lunch and before it fully started I checked my phone and saw that A texted me some more, I checked the text they sent and it said ‘wow so u only sit with me when it’s convenient for u???’ (for context: i used to sit with these 2 guys during lunch but then one day both of them were sick for a bit so i decided to eat in the stairwells cause i usually ate with them in the cafeteria but the cafeteria is pretty noisy so i only went there to sit with them and ended up finding A in the stairwell and decided to sit with him, and the day before this happened I went to sit with A again but he was at a meeting for a school club thingy) and i responded with ‘i promised my friend that i sat with today that i would sit with them today and me and them haven’t seen eachother for a while !! sorry for responding so late i didn’t see this until now’ and i thought that was that, i will admit i did lie a little in that text with the ‘i promised them’ bit but that was because i knew if i didn’t already have a reason A would be kinda annoying about it, anyways, after i sent that period 3 started and i put down my phone but in the middle of class they sent me a 2 short messages and 1 long message that basically went like ‘ok yeah sure *name*’ ‘k’ and ‘you know i sit fucking alone every single day and when i ask my friend if she wants to sit with me and she says no and doesn’t even invite me to sit with her and her other friend it really fucking hurts’ but i didn’t see that message until 4th period.

So during 4th period (it’s kinda a free period for me like a catch up thing like if u have any work from period 1-3 u do it here but i usually don’t have work so the teacher lets me go on my phone) i went on my phone and saw this, i didn’t know how to respond to it but eventually i did and was like ‘sorry i didn’t know u wanted me to invite u ???? me and my friend were eating lunch in one of the classrooms and idk if the teacher has a thing about people who aren’t in that class who have been invited inviting other kids or something but u didnt imply that u wanted me to invite u but u could’ve just asked and i would’ve asked the teacher and if the teacher allowed it i would also invite u so i’m kinda confused by ur message’ then they sent me a super long texted that was basically the ‘i sit alone’ text just longer and also them being like ‘and ur just saying that u would invite me to be nice but ik if u asked u wouldn’t’ and also im kinda confused cause when we do sit together we just go on our phones and watch like yt videos the most we do is me offering them a pringle and saying bye when the bell rings anyways i sent them another text that was like ‘i don’t think im gonna respond to u anymore after i send this because i feel like it’ll just cause an even bigger argument than what’s happening now’ and silenced notifs from them.

After this while doing something else i went to go text my dad and saw that they sent me ‘i feel like after what happened at *amusement park name here* u genuinely hate me’ (for context what happened at there was i invited them to go to an amusement park with me and they said yes but it turns out they don’t like rollercoasters and i really like rollercoasters so my mom who was there with us was like ‘i’m gonna stay with A and u can do rollercoaster stuff’ so i did and apparently while i was on a rollercoaster he started having a panic attack and my mom said something to him which cause him to spiral even deeper and i saw them after i got off the ride and didn’t realize what was going on and started talking about how fun it was until he audibly started crying then i realized and we had to cut the day short and drive him home but he texted me being like ‘i don’t think we can be friends anymore cause of what ur mom said’ but won’t tell me what my mom said but we made up) and i haven’t responded to him but i did tell ONLY my friend that i did sit with and only her about this and i kinda feel guilty for ignoring him and telling her and she ended finding out who it was even though i never said his name cause they have period 2 together and she hated him even before i told her about this mess and now i don’t know what to do other than ignore his texts and try to avoid him during school

What are these acronyms?

[the-witch-of-one-piece]

Sanzu x Fem Reader : Make-up commentor WC:1100+ TW: strong and suggestive language Synopsis: You have your own YouTube channel and many videos suggesting certain trend catching your eye 'Boyfriends become commenters on s/o videos'. You wanted to try this with your boyfriend since he was already familiar with the platform with his sister. MDNI 18+ (unedited)

“Hi my beautiful lovelies, welcome back to my channel!”  you smiled, you had your full makeup done already and decided to try a trend that everyone seemed to be doing lately . For today’s video I’m gonna be having my boyfriend doing a commentary on how I do my make up. He hasn’t seen me yet today. I texted him that I wanted him to do a commentary to a video but he doesn’t know what kinda video. He is set up in another room and I will be getting his commentary and reaction!  I honestly don't know what he is gonna say but let's get into the video shall we!” you smiled as the camera shifted to your cutie pie who was sitting down. He began to play the video and noticed it was you. 

He knew already when he saw your bear face on the screen. “Oh it's one of these types of videos. Okay babe I see you lookin all cute, all natural nothing on.” He could just look at you all day if he could, it always brightened his day up. “Your face is f(beep) perfect… Oh my bad I will try not to cuss. I know you're going to edit it out when you do.Just know I love you.. I f(beep) love you.” he made a heart with his hands before his hand resting on his cheeks as he continued watching the video.

The first thing he saw was you hydrating your face with some serums and moisturizers making your skin look dewy. He looked at the screen “with all that stuff you put on your face I know one thing that could  brighten your face, hydrate and add some protein.” he smirked looking at the camera raising his brow giving a wink. “I just can’t say on camera because it might get flagged.” Foundation was the next step you began adding little dabs of your face with the droplets of foundation and taking your beauty blender bouncing it on your skin. “Oh! I know what you call this uhh it's called beating your faces.” He watches the foundation begin to melt into your skin. He noticed the slight change in your skin and brought it down to your neck “ooooo okay I was about to say your neck looked different from your face but now it’s even you good babe.”  he saw the small stick of concealer  he squinted his eyes “you're adding more!?” he saw how you placed it under your eyes and began to blend it in. “I don’t know what that is but it looks like you can cover anything with it, even your past mistakes… Can I have some?” Setting the areas of your skin with a powder he tilted your head  “This seems like too much work. Now I see why it takes your a(beep) forever to get ready now…. So why are you lookin like you're dead, you added that to your face to look dead?” he saw another brush as you began to add some color back to your face with blush and bronzer “ More shit?!?!?! God dammit woman… But as you say ‘trust the process’. Well the process is taking forever.” 

Brushing your brows out, using a clear brow gel to set them into place “What the hell is that?! Is that some type of hair gel for your brows?  I thought that was mascara because of the brush thingy….” he was a bit confused seeing the small item that looked like a mascara brush. 

The next time you pull out  was your liquid liner “Ohhhh I know what that is, eyeliner!” he nodded, “do it babe do it.” He seemed to be a bit more excited seeing this part of the video. He perked up in his seat. He saw you creating the sharpest cat eye look. “Damn baby eyeliner so sharp you can cut a b(beep) with your face.” he clapped his hands together. He saw you recreated that same cat eye on the other eye. “Imagine some girl is tripping and you walk over them and just blink and you cut a  b(beep)  with that sharp ass eyeliner. God I love it <3”  you began to apply the mascara to your top and  bottom lashes. You pick a pair of lashes that would go with your sharp ass liner. “That's what was missing the caterpillars….Sadly you weren’t blessed with the lashes I have.” he batted his lashes letting out a laugh “kidding babe you have beautiful lashes.”  Watching you place the glue on your false flashes letting it become take then placing it on “hmmm they look heavy on your eyes doesn’t it feel weird to put something so close to your eyeball?? Aren’t you scared the glue will shut your eyes when you blink??” 

He saw you begin to trace your lips with the lipliner giving your lips a defined look. “Okay you used a different eyeliner for the lips.” He literally forgot the name for the lipliner.  But he knew the color you were placing on. It was one of his favorite colors on your lips, a pink that resembled his hair color. “I love that color on you.” he saw you apply the liquid lipstick on top. “ I know that color will stay in place. From eating to kissing to giving the best h--- oh wait i can't say that well you know what I mean it wont move.” he cleared his throat.

It was getting close to you finishing the video. You grabbed your highlighter and began to brush it on your higher cheekbone giving you a glowy look. “Highlight brighter than the sun, bet  if I turn the lights off I can still see you because of that highlighter..”   he nodded “okay okay I’m trusting your process.” 

The final step he saw a spray in your hand.  You began to mist your face with the setting sprays. His eyes widened he didn’t know why you were wetting your face at all “WHY THE F(beep) DID YOU JUST DO THAT?!?! YOU LITERALLY SPENT SO MUCH TIME DOING YOUR MAKEUP TO GET YOUR FACE WET?!”  he saw you began to fan your face, noticing your makeup started to look more settled . It made your skin look flawless. “The F(beep).” he blinked a few times “Well that s(beep) is magic.” The video ended when Sanzu  looked at the camera. “I have a few things to say. 1 this shit takes forever and now I understand why.  2. You do a bomb ass job, you have to really have the patience to do something like this. 3 with makeup I love you and without makeup I still love you. You honestly don’t need to do all of this but I know you like doing it. So do what makes you happy baby. 4. Be prepared. I wanna see if you make up with sweat proof right now.” he got up, turned the camera off, exiting the room he wanted to look for you now.  “Babe, let me see your face, I know you're close!” you could hear his voice echoing in the hall. 

Lets see if your make up can withstand a few hours with Sanzu.

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