#how identity and being a son are so intertwined for Dick

[disco-troy]

was thinking about this post and Ric and was struck by the way that the end of the Ric arc dealt with some of the themes started by Nightwing 30, in relation with Dick is being able to escape from this constant narrative. With a complete loss of identity (at least from the perspective of the batfam) he’s finally about to actually self-reflect and realise how unhealthy his relationships can be with Bruce.

Ric takes one look at Dick and Bruce's relationship and goes hell no that seems terrible. He realized what Dicks identity should be, what Bruce needs him to be, but for once, he outright rejects it. He explicitly says he wants to leave, he realizes it's not healthy, he starts to build something new without Bruce at his shoulder. But unlike every other iteration of Dick does eventually, this time he doesn’t go back, he doesn’t change himself to be what Bruce needs him to be. That is, until the literal moment he gets his memory back.

When Dick comes back, Bruce makes him step back into a role that he’s not ready for, and makes him put Nightwing back on before he’s ready. He is forced to transform his identity and take his place back at Bruce’s side right away and just continue as normal. This quick change of identity ensures we cannot focus on the reality of Dick and Bruce’s relationship that Ric has encountered. And the greatest tragedy of the Ric situation is that it shows that Nightwing, an identity Dick initially created to get away from Bruce, is now so tied to Bruce that he will force Dick to put it on again to be brought back into the fold.

And it's insane how often this happens - just like in the Spyral arc Bruce insists Dick needs to be something else, for his good and the good of the family. Dick repeatedly says no, until Bruce repeatedly wears down Dick into saying yes. It's a pattern of behaviour! 

Bruce even explicitly states - as soon as Dick gets his memory back - this change in identity is equivalent to a Dick now belonging to the family. He knows that now he will have no trouble with this version of Dick, and again instead of actually addressing what happened, this Dick will allow for everything to return back to “normal”.

Sometimes Dick changes his identity to get closer to Bruce; he becomes Robin, Batman when Bruce dies, a brother, a son. Other times, Dick changes who he perceives himself to be to get away from Bruce, he becomes Nightwing to stop “being the back end of Batman and-”, he runs to Bludhaven as Ric, he becomes a member of a team, distances himself from Bruce as the Target. But at the end of the day, who he is and who Bruce needs him to be always pulls him back towards Bruce’s gravity. Who Dick chooses to be varies throughout comics depending on outside factors, but especially Bruce and his needs. 

[vikingpoteto]

Red Robin under the spotlight

Read on AO3 

______________________

Relationships:  GEN. Tim Drake & Jason Todd, Stephanie Brown & Tim Drake

Summary: Red Robin and Red hood are basically urban legends, no one is sure they're real. That is, until there is a picture of the two of them grinning at each other on Gotham Gazette's front page.

________________________

Tim Drake is having… a day. 

Stuck in his office for the afternoon, he is praying for nightime to come soon so he can put on his suit and vent his frustration by beating up some unsuspecting criminal. He’d known being a CEO wasn’t particularly fun, but he didn’t expect the board of directors to be babies for so long. 

He skims his proposal for what feels like the hundredth time unsure of how to make it clearer that that is the best course of action for their investments. The fact that he is only 18 should not trump his very solid, data-based arguments. 

So he’s already in a bad mood and praying for a distraction when his office door swings open and Tam Fox storms in.

“Timothy!” she shouts. 

He feels like he's about to learn he should be careful with what he wishes.

“Hey, Tam, I missed you too?” He tries.

Behind her, his secretary makes a helpless gesture as if trying to communicate she tried to stop Tam. Tim gives the woman a tired smile and makes a dismissive gesture.

Ignoring that, Tam slams the door closed and repeats for emphasis: “Timothy.” She pushes an iPad into Tim’s chest. “What is the meaning of this?”

Raising an eyebrow, he takes the iPad and looks at the screen, noticing he’s staring at a Gotham Gazette article and… Tim’s heart stops.

The headline screaming at his face says RED DYNAMIC DUO? by Vicki Vale and beneath it…

“Oh god,” Tim whimpers.

Beneath the headline there’s a picture of him and the Red Hood. 

Or, well, Red Robin and Red Hood. They’re sitting on the fire escape of one of the abandoned buildings in Jason’s territory and both are seemingly at ease. Too at ease. There are two BatBurger bags at their side and their fingers are intertwined. Red Robin is staring at their joined hands with a wide smile. Fucking hell. Tim always makes a point of never smiling in front of anyone when he’s in his suit, he has a reputation to protect. He doesn’t know if it’s better or worse that Red Hood isn’t wearing his helmet, because it emans his open grin is visible as well - and thank god  Jason has the habit of wearing a domino under his helmet. 

Who the hell took that picture? How the hell did they go unnoticed by both Tim and Jason?

He then starts reading the article, every word feeling like a punch to the gut. 

Gotham City has seen its share of vigilantes over the years and, unlike public figures such as Superman, they prefer to keep to themselves, making many people wonder whether they’re even human. As a shot captured by an amateur photographer that chose to remain anonymous, we find out at least a pair of the many Gotham “heroes” are closer to us than we thought. 

The vigilante known as Red Robin Gotham's patheon of heroes a couple of months ago and little is known about him. He’s been seen working with the likes of Batman, Robin and even Batgirl, making us all think he’s one of the good guys. It seems like Red Robin’s circle of friendships doesn’t include only Justice League members, though.

The Red Hood, the man so tenderly smiling at Red Robin, is a notorious mob boss whose territory's size, GCPD especulates, rivals Black Mask’s. Red Hood wanders between both criminal activities and a violent brand of justice and, while he's been seen working side-by-side with heroes like Nightwing, a hero that since has only been seen in Bludhaven, no one can claim to have seen the Red Hood so comfortable around one of the bats of Gotham

The two young men were pictured in a tender moment. Could this mean that Red Robin is straying towards villany? Is the Red Hood is considering changing his ways? Or, perhaps, are we facing a pair of starcrossed lovers, separated by different set of morals, but still unable to stay away from one another? 

Tim makes an inhumane sound. The words  star crossed lovers  jump from the screen, burning his eyes and making him wish he was going over a dumb business proposal still.

“Well?” Tam demands. “What is that, Tim?”

“I don’t know, Tam,” he answers, his voice weak. “What on earth- How the hell… Oh, god .”

“Why were you hanging out with the Red Hood?”

“Stakeout,” Tim says simply.

“Why were you on a stakeout with the freaking Red Hood?”

At that, Tim recovers enough to feel a bit miffed. That’s the same tone she had last year when Tim was working with assassins and he gets offended on his brother’s behalf. Even if, you know, said brother had also been somewhat related to the assassins in question. In the past.

“Hey, Hood is not as bad as the news make him look. Sure, he’s not exactly clean, but he’s a valuable undercover agent and…”

Tam makes sounds of a woman whose white Valentino bag had liquid lipstick spilled in. “Does that mean you  are  dating the Red Hood?”

“What? NO!”

Tim pinches the bridge of his nose. God, what a mess. 

“He’s my brother,” he says. 

Tam looks like she goes through the 7 stages of grief in a very short time and, honestly, Tim feels for her. He likes Tam a lot. She is smart and strong and the poor girl has had to deal with so much since she and Tim became friends.

“Are you telling me… that Dick Grayson…”

“No, Dick’s not the Red Hood.”

She stares at the picture again and then at him. “This isn’t Duke or Damian, Tim.”

“You’re right. It’s a long story. I can’t tell you, though. I trust you but Hood’s identity isn’t my secret to share.” 

Tam closes her eyes and breathes in and out slowly. After all the crap she had to deal as one of Red Robin’s friends, a stranged brother that happened to be a crime lord (an anti-hero, really) wasn’t that far fetched. She didn’t know much about the Drakes because Tim didn’t talked about them, so, for all she knows, Red Hood could be Jack’s or Janet’s bastard child. Although Tim can figure her theories, he doesn’t try to explain anything. Whatever she works out is better than letting her know Red Hood is Bruce Wayne’s son brought back from the dead.

“Fine. You’re not dating a criminal. You’re a criminal’s brother.”

“I mean… if you think about it, I’m a criminal too.” He smiles sheepishly under her glare. “Being a vigilante isn’t exactly something I can put on my resume.” 

Shaking her head, Tam checks the picture again. “What were you even doing? Because it looks like you’re holding hands and finding it hilarious.”

“We… hm. We were thumb wrestling.”

She stares at him, her expression empty of any emotion. Tim cringes.

“Look, not everything is death traps and high risks, alright? Sometimes stakeouts get boring!”

“You were laughing your head off because you were having a thumb war with the Red Hood,” Tam deadpans.

“Hm. Actually the thumb war wasn't that funny, that was him cheating. I was winning so he kept talking shit about Dick’s past to make me laugh and lose focus.”

Tam finally sits down and she looks at ceiling as if she’s considering all the life decisions that lead her to this moment. At this point, Tim knows she’s just being dramatic, because knowing Red Hood cheats at thumb war for certain isn’t more shocking than the time she met Tim. 

“The thumb was isn’t important now, though,” Tim says. “ This  is a huge problem. Hood’s gonna be in hot water if people think he’s  friends  with a hero.”

He refuses to use the word lovers, because ew. Sure they’re not related by blood, but… ew. Tim  sees  him as a brother, damn it.

“Well, I’m afraid there’s not a lot we can do now,” Tam says apologetically. “The article’s been up since this morning. Even if we have them take it down, it’s already out there. #RedDynamicDuo is trending on Twitter.”

Oof. That’s… oof.

Tim intertwines his fingers and glares at the tablet in front of him as if waiting for the puzzle to solve itself. He knows it won’t, so it’s up to him to fix this. His burnt out brain suggests calling Bart and asking him to run back in time and stop that cursed thumb war. His practical brain has half a mind to call Oracle and see how much online evidence she can get rid of. He has to contact Gotham Gazette and threaten them into not putting vigilante’s identities at risk by posting such pictures, although he doesn’t hold high hopes for that course of action. What he needs now is a bigger scandal, although he fails to think of something more dramatic than Red Robin and Red Hood being buddies…

Right as he’s starting to feel a bit forlorn, his phone buzzes on the table. A picture of Dick smiling flashes on the screen and Tim allows himself to perk up for a moment. Dick for sure will be able to help him.

“Dick!” He picks up, full of hope.

Tim is greeted with cackling. Dick’s cackling.

He groans. “Richard.”

“AHAHAHAHA O-oh god, you… aha... b-baby bird, you… HAHAHAHA--”

Tim isn’t paid enough for this. He hangs up.

“Can you help me with this?” He asks.

“Don’t I always?” Tam quirks an eyebrow.

Smiling tiredly, he stands. “I’m taking the rest of the afternoon off. Can you take care of… you know… day job stuff?”

“I guess. Good luck with your… your family thing.”

 THE BIRDNEST

spoiler alert: *insert game of thrones joke here*

In the hood: Go fuck yourself, Stephanie

spoiler alert: not judging u bro he hella cute

WonderWing: steph please

cassandra cain-wayne: ?

send me a Signal: they’re talking about that picture of Hood and Red holding hands cass

yumm: were NOT holding hands

cassandra cain-wayne: I print that picture.

In the hood: W H Y ! ?

cassandra cain-wayne: cute :) 

spoiler alert: she right and she should say it

In the hood: Steph, turn on your location. I just want to talk.

yumm: stephanie I hv pics of u sleep drooling on me from that that 1 patrol dnt test me

spoiler alert: shut up red dynamic duo

 Tim hates the internet.

Barbara is kindly trying her best to muffle the online reaction, but there is only so much she can do without outright deleting people’s tweets. Tim knows for a fact that that would only cause a bigger uproar, so he asks her to settle for burying mentions of them under a fake algorithm. 

He has yet to think of gossip hot enough to top the rumors, but he doesn’t think even his fake engagement to Tam last year received so much attention. A glimpse into Gotham’s elusive heroes’ personal lives was too exciting to let go quickly.

When he walks into his apartment, he wants nothing but to take a hot shower and a nap. He knows he can’t, though. 

As well as he knows he isn’t alone. 

He plays it cool, walking in as though he doesn’t notice the person in the shadows. He drops his keys and phone on the nearest table as he would normally and turns around too abruptly to allow a reaction, his fist connecting to… someone’s palm.

“Nice reflexes, Baby Bird,” Jason says, quirking an eyebrow as though mildly impressed.

Tim groans. “Would it kill you to use the door?”

“It might, better not risk it.”

“It shaves five years of my life span every time I come home and you’re waiting in the shadows. Of all of Bruce’s habits to pick up…”

Jason simply shrugs. “So… what’s up,  honey? ”

“Ew, don’t say that,” Tim groans.

Keeping his nonchalant facade, Jason lets himself fall into Tim’s couch as though he belongs there. Tim heads to his room to change into more humane clothes.

“I’m assuming Dickie shared the news already,” Jason says.

“He couldn’t stop laughing long enough to say anything,” Tim replies from his closet. “Tam was kind enough to show me, though.”

“Tam… is that your ex-fiancée? Hmm… The news sure keep shipping you with everyone, speaking of which.”

Grumbling the whole time, Tim puts on a purple hoodie he might or might not have stolen from Stephanie and that he wears whenever he’s stressed. He wears that hoodie a lot. Heading back to the living room barefoot and feeling slightly more prepared to deal with the situation, he says:

“I’m assuming you aren’t here just to hang out.”

Jason gives him an unimpressed look. “I’ll give you three guesses.”

Tim blinks once. Twice.  No, it can’t be that… “ Everyone thinks you’re a rat.”

“Bingo.”

And this situation keeps getting better and better. Red Hood is feared enough that he can get away with hanging out with the goody two shoes every now and again and keep his rep. Being caught eating burgers and giggling with a hero was a whole new animal. 

They have to assume Hood’s safe houses were compromised as well. The point of having many hideouts is that you’re never left with nowhere to go, but even Jason wasn’t prepared to have everyone in his territory turn on him. That and they all had been raised and trained to be paranoid. It was too big of a risk to assume he’d be safe in a known place.

“Crap,” Tim mutters. 

“I considered ditching Gotham and spending some time with Roy instead…”

“But that would be as good as a confession. You’d never gain their respect again,” Tim completes for him.

Jason nods. 

The only silver-lining about this situation is that this is Jason. Granted he isn’t too angry to think, Jason is practical and willing to do what’s needed, even if it’s annoying or if it makes him uncomfortable. Tim likes working with him because of that.

“You know where the extra blankets are,” Tim says. 

Because, of course, if Jason can’t be at his own place and he can’t be with Roy and Kory, he’d crash Tim’s place. The manor isn’t really an option for him and Tim doesn’t blame him for that. 

“The plan of action?”

“I’ll let you know as soon as I figure out.”

Jason sighs. “I’m going to punch something in your Red Robin cave.”

“Be my guest.”

 Damage control is necessary, of course, especially for Red Hood’s safety, but there is something bothering Tim more. He opens the news and studies the picture. It’s a damn good shot, almost looks like it was staged. He closes his eyes and tries to remember that night. In order to take that picture, the photographer would have to be in of of the buildings across the street and they’d have to be good enough to go unnoticed not by one, but by two highly trained vigilantes, one of which had his senses enhanced by the Lazarus pit. 

He messages Babs quickly for more info on whoever sent those pictures to the news, but not even Oracle had managed to track them yet. It sounds like the photographer walked into Vicki Vale on the street and handed her the picture, because there was no digital footprint of such interaction.

Without any more ideas, he puts on his suit and heads out, glad that is patrol night. Perhaps punching criminals will give him some clarity.

Tim is nowhere near closing any of his cases and Gotham is unusually quiet because of course the criminals would choose tonight of all nights to be chill. The night Tim needs a crime. That’s why he’s more than a little thankful when a crackling sound in his comm lets him know someone’s trying to send him a message.

“Hey, hot stuff,” a familiar voice calls, “I have an underground gambling den to dismantle tonight, you want in?”

Red Robin smiles. “Is that a date?”

“I don’t know, is it? I don’t want Red Hood coming after me.”

“Batgirl.”

She laughs shamelessly. He hopes Barbara isn’t listening. Although the alternative would be Wendy listening, and he doesn’t know which one would be worse. Steph’s sense of humor isn’t for everyone and while, Tim doesn’t mind their inside jokes and got used to her eternal flirting, he feels as though those should remain between the two of them only.

“I’m serious, though,” Steph continues. “I don’t think backup is needed per se, but I miss fighting criminals with you. Plus I figured you could use a punching bag or two.”

He grins. He just  really  loves Steph. 

“Send me the details. I’ll meet you there.”

Turns out it’s a pretty standard burst for them. Gambling den covering a massive drug operation, because this is Gotham. Why wouldn’t they use an illegal thing to cover another more illegal thing? That sounded like a great idea. 

He finds Batgirl waiting for him on top of a building. She simply smiles and points at the shady alley down the street. 

“Gentlemen first?” she offers. 

“It’s your case.”

With a nod, she dives towards the ground and Red Robin follows her closely, frowning in confusion when she doesn’t dropkicks any windows. Instead, she casually strolls towards the back of the alley where a suspicious metal door that could easily go unnoticed if it didn’t scream CRIMINAL ACTIVITY HERE. Batgirl knocks at the door and gestures at Red Robin to stay away.

A slit on the door slides open and a confused crook tries unsuccessfully to see who’s there. With both vigilantes’ out of his line of sight, the poor bastard has no option other than opening the door to check. Batgirl swiftly pulls him into a headlock as soon as he walks into view and Red Robin’s grinning face is the last thing the man sees before the pressured applied makes him pass out.

Red Robin doesn’t figure what Steph’s plan is until she cuffs the unconscious bouncer and stands straight, offering her arm.

“You’re so dramatic.” He rolls his eyes, even as he takes it.

“Shush, you think I’m awesome.”

That he does. Especially when the two of them climb down into the basement turned illegal cassino with their arms locked as if they’re a couple. It’s cartoonishly comic how long it takes everyone to realize Red Robin and Batgirl are standing on the entrance, looking around at the 50 different illegal activities happening at once. 

Not as comic as when Batgirl shouts over the music: “Please, don’t stop on our account!”

The gamblers sober enough to freeze in horror. 

“Before we start, anyone wants to just give themselves in?” Red Robin offers.

That’s when guns start firing and all hell breaks loose. 

 The night ends, as it would, with Batgirl and Red Robin walking home a trio of strippers. The women weren’t to blame that their work environment was less than ideal and they certainly didn’t need to be left tied up waiting for the GCPD like the mobsters Steph and Tim beat up tonight.

Red Robin wanted to just watch them from the top ot the buildings and make sure they got home safe, but Batgirl insisted they walked alongside the women. Their costumes don’t look completely out of place near them and Red Robin doesn’t know what to think of that.

For a second, he thinks he hears someone behind them. Everytime he turns around, he finds nothing but an empty alley, so he shrugs if off as him getting hit tooo many times.

While Batgirl excitedly chats with two of the women about their future employment - one of them is in this line of work just to get by, the other genuinely enjoys sensual dancing as a form of art but wishes she could work somewhere better - when the third of them discreetly detaches herself from the group to walk closer to Red Robin.

She still looks tense and guarded, her arms tightly wrapped around herself and Tim wishes he had a jacket to offer her. The way she sideeyes him says she wants to say something, but is too nervous to start. Not wanting to betray his persona, he simply waits, trying to appear as non threatening as possible.

“Thanks a lot for savin’ us, Red Robin,” the woman says finally. “I can’t believe I’m meetin’ ya.”

He gives her a small smile. “I’m just glad you’re safe, ma’am, there’s no need to thank me.”

“I just wanted ta say… I get ya.”

Red Robin tilts his head to the side. “Ma’am?”

“The thing with your man. Must ta’ be hard dating the Red Hood. I know how it is.”

He was… He was getting sympathy from a stripper with bad taste in men.

“There’s nothing gross between Hood and I!” He lets out before he can help himself, his voice a little louder than intended.

The other women startle at his outburst and turn to him, wary. One of them reaches for what is clearly a pocket knife that she thinks is cleverly hidden in her bra.

He sighs. “I’m sorry, ma’am, just… Batgirl, I believe you’ve got things from here. I’m taking off.”

She gives him a concerned look, but ultimately nods. Under Batgirl’s and the three strippers perplexed glares, Red Robin grapples his way out of there.

 Tim wakes up around noon feeling as though he was hit by a truck, as he does when he sleeps longer than three hours a night. He slowly sits up and looks around his messy room, wondering how come he’s feeling so miserable. The smell of food stirs him into some sort of alertness.

Right. He’s not home alone today.

Yawning and scratching his belly, he forces himself to get out of bed. He know that the longer he stays the more likely he is to slip into a coma, his body demanding compensation for years of sleep deprivation. Tim drags his feet towards his kitchen where he finds one of Gotham’s most dangerous vigilantes humming to himself as he makes breakfast. Or Lunch. Brunch. Whatever.

“And here I thought I was the family’s zombie,” Jason says in lieu of good morning.

Tim grumbles something about his brother being too comfortable in Tim’s kitchen, but he doesn’t dare complain. Jason is probably the only person that uses Tim’s stove and one of the perks of having him over is that he does cook. A lot. 

The one disadvantage about having Jason over is…

A knife lodges itself on the counter in front of Tim when he tries to reach for the coffee pot. Tim didn’t even see him throwing it. He glares at his brother.

“Food first. Coffee after,” Jason says. 

“I’m too nauseous to eat, I just woke up.”

Again without breaking eye contact with the pot he’s stirring, Jason blindly reaches for a package of crackers casually left on the counter and hands it to Tim.

Tim makes sure to give him his best rebellious teenager glare before grabbing the stupid crackers and sitting down to eat them. Stupid Jason with his stupid boredom. Tim had forgotten Jason goes into full mom mode when he has nothing else to do and that he’s particularly obnoxious about Tim’s eating habits.

“I consume the necessary calories,” Tim mumbles over his cracker.

“Okay, Damian.”

Tim throws a cracker at him. Jason easily dodges without looking, which is kind of annoying.

After that, the two brothers fall into comfortable silence. Tim knows Jason wants to talk about their plan of action, but he knows Tim is nowhere near awake enough to hold a conversation. Besides, Jason doesn’t like being bothered while he’s cooking anyway.

By the time the food is ready, the crackers worked their magic and Tim no longer feels as though his stomach is ready to puke out its emptiness. He grabs dishes he hadn’t used in quite a while and sets the table for the two of them. The brothers start eating in silence, Tim slowly recovering his sense of self - no wonder he goes for so long without sleeping, he takes too long to reboot when he does - and Jason mindlessly scrolling through his phone. 

Then something on the small screen makes Jason choke on his food. 

Tim quirks an eyebrow. “You okay?”

“Hm… Timmy, you may wanna take a look at this.”

“What?” Tim takes Jason’s phone. “Oh, for fuck’s sake !” 

It’s another news article. The picture is fortunately less detailed, just a red and black silhouette against Gotham’s sky that may or may not be Red Robin standing over one of the many gargoyles. The text, however.  

RED ROBIN MAKES HOMOPHOBIC REMARK AND SHOCKS ADMIRER

Gotham’s newest vigilante busted an underground gambling den last night. Despite his heroic deed, his words after the fact were less than commendable. When questioned about his relationship with the Red Hood by one of the women he rescued, the hero allegedly said that there’s “Nothing gross between him and Hood.”

“Personally, I was shocked,” said the woman in question, Krystal Math, 25  years old. “Red Robin became my favorite hero when I heard he also has a dead-beat boyfriend. I was starting to finally see myself in one of those bats, you know? I couldn’t believe when he said being gay is gross. Never meet your heroes, I guess.”

   THE BIRDNEST

WonderWing sent a screenshot.

WonderWing: red robin is cancelled for homophobia, pass it on

Robin: Good. It’s about time we rid ourselves of him.

Cassandra Cain: Little brother does not approve gay rights? :(

yumm: im literally bisexual

spoiler alert: he avoiding the question

in the hood: #redrobinisoverparty

yumm: I hate this fucking family

 Tim hasn’t stopped pacing around the room since he read the most recent article. Those were his exact words by the letter, meaning someone had been listening. He doubts Krystal, bless her heart, was the one going to the news with his “homophobic remark”. 

Having basically given up on getting Tim to calm down, Jason is the one to get the porch door open for Steph. Because apparently she’s been learning from Jason and acquired his hatred for front doors. Steph knows how Tim gets, so she promptly ignores him and gets comfortable on the reading chair to check the article fully.

“This is nuts,” Steph says. “We were being careful. I made sure of it.”

Tim believes her. Batman and Robin are basically public figures at this point, even if they don’t interact with civilians if they can help it. Red Robin and the Signal were heard of and spotted around the city, but not a lot of people really  know  of them. Red Hood was basically a urban legend until recently and Black Bat sill is. Batgirl, however, is known for being a people hero. 

She was, back in Barbara’s time, stopped for a bit with Cass, but Steph embraced the old tradition whole heartedly. She would walk people home late at night to make sure they were safe, wave at little girls in the bus, talk to kidnapping victims until they were under heavy blankets handed by the police. Steph was extroverted and charming and she used that fully as Batgirl like she never could as Spoiler. That being said, she and Barbara always made a point to avoid pictures, security cameras and whatnot. If there was a hero good at hanging with civilians while unnoticed by the media, that hero was Stephanie Brown.

Tim’s phone is buzzing. He ignores it in favor of stomping around some more. 

“Well, something must have slipped your watchful eye,” Jason says, shrugging.

Steph glares at him. “Mine, perhaps, but are you implying someone went unnoticed by Oracle?”

“Well, someone obviously did,” Tim snaps, tossing his phone at the couch in frustration. “What happened after I left, Steph?”

“Nothing,” she says honestly. “I walked the ladies home. Krystal was a bit miffed but she didn’t say anything, so I thought she was just a shipper upset that her OTP wasn’t canon.”

“You think she went to the news after?” Jason suggests.

Steph frowns. “Why would she? She didn’t look like she had media connections exactly.”  

Tim’s phone, that bounced off the couch and fell with a soft thud on the carpet, continues to explode with texts. He sighs and stops to pick it up and finally answer them.

“Appearances can be deceiving,” Jason argues. Then turns to Tim: “You should look into her. I’m gonna check other possible sources.”

“Hm-hum, just a second,” Tim mumbles, typing furiously. “Damian is being a nightmare and asking for help on a case.”

“Wack. Are you telling him to solve his own cases instead of using your intell to impress Bruce?”

Tim glares at Jason.

“Really? C’mon, Timmy, we’ve been over this.”

Stephanie gives them a puzzled look. “You’ve been over… Dami being a nightmare?”

“Jason says that whenever someone is mean to me I should reply by attacking them where hurts the most,” Tim explains.

“He knows all of our weaknesses and he has the quickest thinking,” Jason says, frustrated. “The least he should do is stand up for himself with that knowledge!”

"Kinda rich coming from the guy that tried to kill him," Steph says, quirking an eyebrow.

"Steph," Tim scowls. "He didn't know me then and the pit rage--"

"Timmy," Jason cuts him off. 

Tim sighs. "Besides now I could off him in 20 different ways if he tried any of that shit again. There. Happy, Jason?"

"That's my baby brother."

Steph smiles at him. “You know what? You’re onto something, Jaybird.”

Tim interrupts his walk of worry again to smile a bit. Something about Stephanie and Jason agreeing on something is immensely satisfying.

Still, on the matter at hand, Tim says, “If I go off on Damian, Dick’s gonna get mad…”

“Then go off on Dick as well,” Steph promptly suggests.

Jason high-fives her. “Atta girl. Besides if Dick doesn’t want us to tell Damian to fuck off he has to work harder on teaching him not to be a little shit. Everyone here has a tragic backstory here and we all know Damian goes too far sometimes.”

Tim shakes his head again. “Regardless, Damian’s case will have to wait. We’re gonna go with your plan, Jay. And Steph…”

“Wow, no way, José. I’m just here as an eyewitness. I don’t want to get involved with homophobes and end up shipped with Jason or some shit.”

Tim glares at her. “I was going to offer you some of our leftovers, but since you’re not interested, that’s fine.”

While Jason laughs and Steph protests, he proceeds to look for his laptop, hoping this isn’t going to be a dead end. 

 “This is a dead end,” Tim declares.

From what he can find, Krystal wasn’t even paid for her impromptu interview. Apparently Vicki Vale showed up at her place to confirm the veracity of a story that she heard God knows where. 

Dick is in Bludhaven, but he insisted on facetiming them when he realized his brothers were struggling, even if he mostly just made worried faces from Tim’s phone as Tim, Jason and Steph exchanged notes. As a rule of thumb, Tim doesn’t involve his siblings in his cases since he became Red Robin, but this is definitely an all hands on deck situation. Tim isn’t desperate enough to get Bruce involved, but he’s getting there. Especially when Dick says:

“Babs couldn’t find anything in Vicki’s email or phone. She’s double checking all of Vicki's sources, but so far it’s been no good.”

“We could always get Vale and hang her by the ankles on top of some building until she talks,” Jason suggests. "Let's go old school on her."

Everyone ignores Jason. Tim stands for another mug of coffee. Dick lets out a frustrated sigh. Steph keeps watching all of them from the couch, where she’s been lying down and tossing gummy bears into her mouth for the past half-hour. 

When no one acknowledges him, Jason sighs and stands. “Alright, this’ been fun. I’m going to patrol.”

Dick frowns. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“He can’t vanish,” Steph says. “One thing is crashing Tim’s place to make sure he won’t get ambushed in his down time. If Red Hood goes AWOL he might as well admit he’s working with the Batclan.”

Jason nods. “If I don’t do my job, next thing I know Black Mask takes over my stuff.” 

“Can’t have Black Mask taking over his stuff,” Steph agrees.

Dick glances at Tim as though expecting him to disagree with the plan. Tim lets out a defeated sigh. “He’s right. Just… make sure to find a safe place to change into your gear so no one sees you. If there are any safe places, that is…”

Jason rolls his eyes. Tim knows he’s going full Robbie Downer mode, as Jason likes to call it, but he can’t help it. It’s not often that he finds himself without any ideas. He  should  have been able to solve this already. Since nothing comes to mind, he starts imagining unrealistic scenarios in hopes that they’ll give him some insight outside of the box.  AU in which I was never shipped with my brother by some nosey reporter. AU in which I went out Damian instead of Jason that night.

Tim groans in frustration. “Why did it have to be Jason? We could get away with me having a thumb war with literally anyone. If it was Batman out there, this wouldn’t be that much of a problem.”

“Maybe if you hung out with all your brothers and not just Jason there wouldn’t be as many rumors about you and Red Hood,” Dick mumbles.

Tim glares at the phone. 

“Really? You wanna go there? You wanna talk favoritism, Richard? Because you’ve been favoring Damian for-freaking-ever.”

“Drag him!” Jason cheers. 

“Tim,” Dick says, looking genuinely upset, “I love all-”

“Save it,” Steph cuts in. “We all have favorites Dick, there is no use denying it.”

Because Dick’s eyebrows are knitted in confusion, Tim clarifies: “Bruce’s favorite is Cass, yours is Damian, Jason’s is… I don’t know, his guns. Steph is my favorite, unfortunately. Steph’s favorite is Cass, Cass’ favorite is Duke, Duke doesn’t have favorites, he’s the only good person in this family, and Damian’s is also you.”

Steph nods. “You did it! You broke the Bat Family dynamics to its bare essentials!”

“And that is why Tim is my favorite. After my guns,” Jason adds.

“Jason, we do not rate our siblings.”

“That’s why you’re in last place, Dick.”

Ignoring Dick’s enraged noises, Tim sets his mug aside. “I’m going patrolling, even if today isn't my turn. Solo this time. Hopefully Red Hood and Red Robin being separate out there will help the rumors die down a bit.”

No one has a better idea - Tim’s least favorite sentence - so that’s what they do. 

 It’s another infuriatingly quiet night.

Red Robin stops a couple of muggings, scares the crap out of some drug dealers. At some point, he considers contacting Poison Ivy and asking if she has any corrupt CEO she wants help with. He could, you know. It’d stop Ivy from killing someone and on his last run with Harley Quinn she did let slip that Tim was Ivy’s favorite Robin. 

He almost falls mid swing at the memory, thinking he might be onto something, but then he remembers Harley hadn’t particularly recognized Red Robin as the third Robin. She was just ranting about how the new tiny Robin had no sense of humor and Ivy missed the last one. Besides of course Harley Quinn wasn’t feeding Vicki Vale some BatFanfic. Tim’s brain must be really burnt out if that’s the best hot take it can come up with. 

It’s almost 3am and he’s taking a pair of muggers that can’t be much older than Tim to the police. He’s about ready to call if a night when someone shouts:

“Red Robin!” 

He looks on instinct and his stomach drops when he sees Vicki Vale running towards him.  Crap.

“Red Robin, can I get a statement?”

He keeps walking. He’s just one dirty alley away from GCPD, otherwise he’d just tie the stupid muggers to his back and would use his grappling hook to get out of the situation, grapple safety be damned. The muggers gingerly attempt to hide their faces as the reporter runs to them swinging a digital recorder. Vicki acts as though she can’t see them.

“Red Robin, what do you have to say about the rumors of your relationship with the Red Hood?”

The rumors you created?  Red Robin quickens his pace and the muggers trip over themselves. He stares straight ahead, pretending he doesn’t notice the woman basically running in heels to keep up with him. 

“Are you ashamed of it? Is it because he’s a criminal or because he’s a man?”

Red Robin wonders if the muggers would walk the rest of the way and turn themselves in if he asked nicely.

“Don’t bother, lady,” one of the muggers says. “He’s a nasty bigot.”

The other mugger  nods and the two of them are wearing matching pouty expressions. Now Tim just feels bad. He didn’t become a hero for the recognition and he’s not in the business of doing PSAs like Superman, but he doesn’t want the strange socially woke criminal youth of Gotham to think they’re being arrested by a homophobe.

“I have no problem with two men in a relationship, I’m bisexual,” he tells the muggers. “Still, I’m not dating Red Hood. Just because I’m bi it doesn’t mean I’m dating every male vigilante I run into.”

At that, the two crooks look mildly surprised and suddenly they seem to feel a bit better about being arrested. Would you look at that. 

Red Robin delivers them to the police, painfully aware that Vicki Vale is nowhere to be found anymore. He feels like he’s going to pay dearly for being too prideful to let himself be mistaken for a heterosexual person. 

 Lo and behold, Twitter, on that very same morning.

@Gotham_Gazette:

Red Robin hints that he might be bisexual. “No, I’m not dating the Red Hood, just because I’m bi it doesn’t mean I’m dating every male vigilante,” said the hero on the rumors about his relationship.

        @dgraysonman hints??? he literally said he’s bi smh

        @stephssss wow only the male vigilantes? biphobic. let red robin date batgirl too

        @babsgeez be gay do crime, be bi serve justice

        @thomascommaduke no cops at pride, only Red Robin using a bi flag as cape.

“Timmy…” Jason starts.

“Don’t. Just leave me alone to die.”

“That’s fair, have a nice day.”

 At this point, Tim is surprised Bruce hasn’t intervened. As unaware of social media as Bruce can be, he’s always on the look for anything that might compromise their secret identities. Tim pulls two all-nighters in a row doing detective work and still makes no progress on his search for the person that sent Vicki that picture and overheard his conversation with Krystal. He fully expects Batman to jump him on his next patrol and give him a lecture.

When he comments that to Jason, he gets a confused look in response.

“You didn’t get a lecture? Bruce was the one that told me first. I had to hear about being careless for 20 minutes before I got home and could take off my comm.”

Tim frowns in confusion. Bruce had talked to him once or twice after the news got out and he didn’t comment anything on it. 

“That’s Batman’s psychological profiling,” someone suggests. 

Tim almost jumps out of his skin when Steph casually walks into the living room with a bowl of chips. 

“What are you doing here? And are those my clothes?”

Steph shrugs in the sweater that clearly doesn’t belong to her. “Jason and I are doing movie night.”

“Movie night,” Jason mocks. “She’s been here for the past two days. Did you seriously not notice, Tim?”

Tim’s jaw drops. 

Steph sighs and her expression turns guilty. “Fine. My mom is out of town for the week and Jason is a better cook than I am. Is it a crime to bum off your ex-boyfriend and his bizarrely talented in the kitchen brother?”

Before Tim can say anything, Jason interrupts: “What were you saying about Batman, Steph?”

She heads to the couch and starts looking for the remote, her feet propped on the coffee table. “B knows Jay will just shrug it off and deal with the consequences, hence the need of a lecture. If he annoys Jason, he’ll stop and reflect on it, even if out of rage. He knows Tim’s already overthinking and working his butt off to fix it, so he doesn’t want to add any pressure.”

Both Jason and Tim stand in dumbfounded silence.  Since when does Steph know Bruce so well?

She raises her gaze when the quietness stretches and quirks an eyebrow at them. “What? Am I wrong?”

“Hm. No. That’s pretty much what we’ve been doing,” Jason admits, if a big begrudgingly. “That’s annoying though.”

Steph simply makes a dismissive gesture and pats the sit beside her. “Tim, you need a break. Wanna join us?”

Tim hesitates. On one hand, the fact that Bruce trusts him that much is a tad touching… and knowing it makes him feel he has to solve this as soon as possible. On another… it’s kind of annoying that Bruce knows him so well and yet doesn’t think about offering any assistance. Tim is not stubborn enough to refuse a helping hand when he’s on a pinch.

“You’re not going to solve anything if you’re hallucinating from sleep deprivation, Timbers,” Jason points. “Besides we’re watching Avatar.”

“Fine,” Tim says.

If for nothing else, just to prove to Bruce that he’s  not an overworker and he can slack off in the absence of a parental figure.

Tim falls asleep in the middle of the second episode. Steph and Jason vow to take him to bed once they’re sure he’s completely out, but they only last until the end of the first season. The three sleep soundly on the couch for good eight hours and regret dearly when they wake up with necks too sore to fight crime for at least a day.

 Consequences. They always come.

Almost a week goes by in which the rumors are but an annoyance to Jason and a source of stress to Tim - but almost anything can stress Tim if he tries hard enough, so that’s not saying anything. Jason is still staying at Tim’s, but he’s considering going back to his own place when they go for three days with no new article and nothing unusual has happened. 

Until it does. 

It’ a rainy night Tim is going over reports for the next WE meeting when he hears a noise coming from the balcony. His stomach gives a familiar twist when he recognizes Batgirl hunched over the weight of one Red Hood. 

He rushes to her aid, already feeling nauseous. There’s no blood in sight but whatever happened must be serious if Jason is willing to let Batgirl give him a piggyback ride. Tim lets them drip water all over the floor and, in his panic, has half a mind to appreciate that Batgirl’s boots have enough traction that she doesn’t slip.

“What on Earth…”

“The most ridiculous thing,” Steph bables as she and Tim drag a very dizzy Jason to the couch. She then starts ranting so fast Bart Allen would be proud. “He was doing his thing as usual, but some of his people turned on him and there was an ambush and so many flipping people against one poor Hood and good god that guy shot his helmet at point-blank which,  damn , that was so stupid, of course the freaking helmet is bullet proof, it just ricocheted and…”

“Steph, calm down,” Tim interrupts. “Jason, can you report?”

When he gingerly attempts to take off his helmet, Steph takes over and undoes the safety measures before carefully removing it. There is a dent on the back part where he had been presumably shot. 

“Hm,” Jason grunts, squinting even behind his domino mask. “Ambush. Shot. Concussion. Very concussion. Ankle hurts? Prolly not broken, tho. Also stabbed?”

Tim nods. “Steph, get the medical supplies. Where’s the stab wound, Jay?”

Jason points to his thigh and there is an improvised bandage keeping him from losing too much blood. Considering how well done it is, Tim figures it’s Steph’s work. He nods and starts checking his brother’s vitals and making sure there aren’t other serious wounds.

When she comes back with the supplies Tim needs, Steph has her cowl down and a somber expression. She turns off the lights for Jason’s sake, the only source of light left on being the lamp near where Tim is already ripping off a piece of Jason’s pants to have better access to his wound. Steph sits by Jason’s side and grabs his hand, much to Tim’s surprise. He’s too busy taking care of the stab wound to ask, but he doesn’t have to. Steph breaks the silence:

“I’m so sorry, Jason.”

Jason gives her a confused look. “You saved my ass?”

“Yes, but…” Steph sighs and turns to Tim. “Babs is with the Birds of Prey tonight, so I was on my own. I was messing around with my comm frequency when I accidentally got into Jason’s. I heard the mess and it sounded like he was in trouble so I panicked. I went to get him and… Well, if there was any doubt that he’s working with the Bats, there isn’t now. It was too obvious that I was protecting him.”

Jason squeezes her hand. “Hm. Pigs.”

“Right. Then the police arrived and instead of leaving right away I stopped to make sure Jason wasn’t bleeding to death. More than a few cops saw me patching him up.”

Tim sighs. Well, shit. 

“It’s not your fault, Steph,” Tim says. “I mean… he literally wears a bat on his chest. People were bound to find out it isn’t just to stick it to Batman.”

“Is too,” Jason mumbles.

Tim ignores him. “The situation isn’t ideal, but we all prefer people knowing Red Hood is associated with the Bats than him being dead.”

“I died before.”

“We know, Jay.”

“Do not recommend.”

“We know, Jay.”

Steph fidgets a bit, still looking guilty, but ultimately nods. Tim is about to start stitching Jason’s wound closed when she says: “There’s more. You, hm, you know Renee Montoya?”

“The one valid pig,” Jason says. “I like her.”

“She was there. She helped a ton keep the other cops away from us before we could escape,” Steph says. “I think she wanted to check on Jason and…”

Tim stops moving. He knows Montoya, worked with her before and she’s a nice woman. That being said, she doesn’t have any connections to Hood. Why would she… Oh. The gay rumors. Damn wlw/mlm solidarity.

“What happened?” Tim asks, already fearing the worst.

“Hmmm, we’ll tell you, but I’m concussed, so you have to promise you won’t be mad.”

“Jason.”

Jason sighs. “Well. She asked about our relationship and… Hm. I might have told her we’re brothers.”

Tim stares at them. Steph is cringing and Jason is too out of it to care. At this point… Tim starts laughing, making the other two - even the concussed one - frown in worry.

“Aw, man,” Tim says between chuckles.  “What the fuck, am I right? I’m too old for this. Who cares? Not me! Fuck it. Fuckety fuck fucky-fuck.”

“I think we broke him,” Steph whispers even as Tim resumes stitching his brother.

They went from not-sure-if-real to a freaking cop knowing about their family in the span of a week. Tomorrow #TimDrakeIsRedRobin could be trending on Twitter and Tim wouldn’t care. Not anymore. Let them come.Literally everyone in his friend circle is a vigilante, a hero or a criminal at this point, he doesn’t even care about endangering anyone.

 It takes actually two days for it to hit the news. He’s alone in his office when Tam texts him a link to Gotham Gazette online. Judging by the lack of other words, Tim figures she’s cutting ties with him again.  

The newest article has no actual pictures, but a sketch of Red Hood standing with his guns pointed at the viewer and Red Robin standing behind him, his face only partially turned. The thing looks more like superhero fanart than an official sketch, but that never stopped Vicki Vale before.

 VIGILANTE FAMILY? by Vicki Vale

Red Robin, one of Gotham’s many masked vigilantes, was cause of intrigue recently. Many  people noticed the hero doing his work around Red Hood’s territory, something not even Batman dares on the regular. Speculation turned into a craze of theories when both red-themed vigilantes were caught sitting on a roof sharing a meal from Batburger and many thought perhaps there was more than your regular vigilante team up. 

Turns out the hero and the mob boss aren’t lovers, against popular belief. When questioned about the nature of their relationship, Red Hood snapped and confirmed one of the less popular theories: the two men are, in fact, related. “Red is right and he should say it,” said Red Hood to a bewildered policewoman. “Of course he’d say it’s [REDACTED] gross, he’s my little brother.” When asked about the conversation overheard by our reporter, the policewoman in question refused to give any more details and requested to remain anonymous.

It’s hard to be sure how such development came to be. The Red Hood has been active in Gotham for years as a mob boss and, more recently, a vigilante and ally to Gotham’s bats. While Red Robin is a newer vigilante, could it be that he was trained by the Red Hood? And how do the two brothers fit with Gotham’s oldest vigilantes? Unlike his older counterpart, Red Robin has been often spotted working side-by-side with the likes of Batgirl and Robin, making some question whether Red Robin is distancing himself from his criminal brother. However, sources spotted Hood being aided by Batgirl more recently. Could it be that his former sidekick is bringing Red Hood closer to the side of justice? More on the Red Twins as the story develops.

 THE BIRDNEST

spoiler alert: RED TWINS

WonderWing: R E D  T W I N S

send me a Signal: ~ * R E D T W I N S * ~

in the hood: uhhhh my bad?

yumm: dis is great

yumm: now im hoods stranged sidekick

yumm: i fucking hate u jason.

in the hood: hey, if you didn't want to be my sidekick you should've picked another color

yumm: screw u u dont own the color red

in the hood: I was born first

yumm: u died first 2

WonderWing: Tim!

spoiler alert: oof 

send me a Signal: wow Tim that was too far

in the hood: I’ve never been prouder to be your brother I taught you so well Timmy

send me a Signal: … I stand corrected. I sometimes forget everyone in this family is clinically insane

 “Hey Tim. There is discourse about you and Jason now.”

Tim lets out a whimper. 

“So apparently some people still ship you two. But those people are being cancelled because shipping incest is problematic.”

“Steph, are you planning on going home? I noticed you took one of my drawers.”

“There’s fanart of you two.”

“I don’t want to see it. That'll scar me for life."

“I’m DMing it to you. By the way there is civilian Red Robin fanart and for some reason they made you blonde.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, I guess it’s more fun to ship people with different hair colors. Should we dye your hair?”

“Why.”

“That way when you finally hook up with Co-”

“Finish that sentence and I kick you out of this apartment for good.”

 With the cat out of the bag, they start doing different damage control. 

Red Hood is now openly working with the Bats, so Steph and Cass dismantle Hood’s former safehouses around Gotham which mostly means getting Jason’s books and bringing them to Tim’s place. Jason suggests the places should be converted into something useful for the neighborhood, such as libraries or a community center of sorts, so Tim starts working on what needs to be done by WE to make that reality. Tim also makes sure Bruce pretends not to know Jason is using a lot of money illegally acquired to getting himself new hideouts.

They dance around the topic a lot and nothing is really said until Steph brings it up. Steph, whose mother returned days ago. Steph, that definitely doesn’t want Jason to leave, because apparently she suddenly has a new favorite ex-Robin. Steph, that is currently eating homemade waffles in Tim’s kitchen, even though Tim is 83% sure she didn’t sleep over last night.

“Why doesn’t Jason just moves in?” she asks.

When neither boy replies immediately, she continues:

“I mean, it’s more practical, isn’t it? Tim’s place is already secure, he has a hero hideout downstairs and you two already work together all the damn time. Tim’s office can be converted into a room for Jason, because, let’s face it, I spend most of my free time here and Tim never uses it. I once saw him take his laptop with him to the bathroom and then return to the kitchen table instead of using the office. We wouldn’t even have to take the shelves, because Jason would fill them.”

They exchange a look. 

“You know, she’s right,” Tim says. He shrugs like it’s no big deal, really.

He isn’t nervous at all while Jason stands there, his expression unreadable. It’s not like he enjoys way too much having his brother around and got way too comfortable with having a roommate and a half (if you count Steph) on the past weeks. Tim doesn’t care, he’s cool like that.

“I mean. I guess having you as a roommate beats living alone,” Jason finally says.

Tim fails to hide his grin. “We can start working in turning the office into a room this weekend.”

Jason smiles back and messes his hair. 

Tim’s first theory is that Steph wants Jason off the couch so she has an official place to sleep, because apparently Jason’s cooking is that good.

His second theory is that she noticed how happy Tim is to finally share a house with family. The Wayne Manor had been home for a while, sure, but despite Alfred’s best efforts the place wasn’t the coziest. It wasn’t the same as sharing an apartment with a brother, bickering about sharing chores and openly discussing their night jobs before shifting the conversation to a video game they want to buy. Sharing actual meals and making sure one another wouldn’t end up dead in a ditch.

Tim decides to stick with his first theory, after all it’s easier for Steph to make Red Twins jokes if Jason and Tim are under the same roof. 

 Even without new gossip, the idea of vigilante brothers is too interesting for the general public to let go. Tim and Jason start acting mostly in the shadows and having no interaction with civilians at all and they’re still the topic of Gotham’s variety shows and online discussions from time to time.

Because they don’t slip again, Bruce has yet to bring up the subject with Tim, but the mystery remains. Who listened to all those conversations and how? Tim keeps expecting the other shoe to drop, to get a message demanding ransom for their secret identities, something,  anything , but nothing happens. Nothing freaking happens and he’s never been this frustrated.

That is, until, it happens. The ultimate betrayal. 

Dick’s next visit coincides with the time Cass is over for the week. Because Bruce is secretly a sap in the wrongest way, he suggests they all go patrolling together. Such great family time. 

Despite their initial protests, they must all be the same kind of freak, because they all agree. They split up soon to cover more ground, but keep their comms on so it still feels they’re all in a big menacing group. 

Red Robin is somewhere near the crime alley when Nightwing announces he noticed some of Two Face’s goons getting into a building. He checks his wrist pad for their locations and notices Nightwing isn’t that far from where he is. The next closest person is Red Hood.

“I’ll take care of it,” Nightwing says over the comms.

“Negative. Two Face himself might be there,” Batman intervenes. “Wait for backup. The Red Twins--” And he stops himself as though realizing what he’s saying.

“Batman!?” Red Robin gasps in a betrayed voice. 

Nightwing is already having a laughter fit over the comms almost drowning the sound of Bruce’s disappointed sigh.

“I’m sorry, Red,” his father says and he even forgets to use Batman’s scary voice. “Nightwing and Batgirl have been saying it so much that-”

“Save it,” Hood groans. “And stop laughing, Jerkwing!”

The worst part is knowing that, even if he solves the mystery, the Red Twins thing is probably going to follow him to his untimely death. 

 Tim all but lost hope when he gets an email from Barbara. “To my favorite Red Twin” says the subject. He groans, but opens the email, because one does not simply ignore a message from Oracle. Then he almost drops his phone. 

Attached there is a grainy picture of a young woman talking to Vicki Vale. The image had certainly been enhanced digitally as it’s probably from a shitty security camera, but you can still see the woman’s face clear as day. She looks like she’s handing Vicki something, her shoulders tense and her expression wary. The body of the message is, most likely, the woman’s personal info. Her name is Lisa Harris. She is 27 years old. She lives somewhat close to Jason’s territory. And, most importantly, Babs added to the end of the message:

The picture is from the night before the Red Twins article ;) Vicki didn’t talk to anyone other than her coworkers and our pal Lisa on that night.

Jason comes out of his room when Tim trips on the coffee table in his hurry to stand. “What’s up?”

Tim hands him the phone. Jason’s eyes grow wide. “I don’t care about subtlety. We’re both going after this chick.”

“Agreed.”

“Should we wait for Steph? She’s gonna be mad that we went when she’s in class.”

“Jason, Steph doesn’t live here.”

“Doesn’t she, though?”

“We’re not waiting for Steph. She’s not involved.”

“Aight, but when she’s bitching I’m gonna say I remembered her and you said no.”

 They leave their bikes behind first for stealth sake, but mostly because the place they’re going isn’t that far from their place. Tim shivers at the thought of someone so dangerous living near him. He wonders what kind of information Lisa might have gathered and for how long she’d been watching them. Is she a new enemy? Perhaps a member of the league?

The shitty building she lives in doesn’t suggest that. It’s just another grimy Gotham apartment complex that didn’t age well. The place they’re looking for doesn’t have a balcony, only a useless fire escape so rusty it would probably crumble under any sign of flames. It’s a perfect hiding spot, because nothing suggests a villain lives there. It’s just a building, home to many underpaid bachelors, nothing too suspicious about it.

Red Robin reminds Hood of that before they nod to each other and split. Jason goes into the building with a ton of confidence, for such a big guy trying to go unnoticed. Tim uses his grapple to reach the right window, not trusting that fire escape for even a second. 

The window is open and he finds himself looking at a place not that different from the one Jason lived before moving in with Tim. Mismatched furniture of the living suggests whoever lives there didn’t have money for fancy decor or that they don’t mind how the place looks. However, something about the place looks… well, lived in. It doesn’t look like a criminal temporary hideout, but rather someone’s place.

As he hesitates, a woman walks in. The woman of the picture, Lisa Harris. Her long blonde hair had been tied in a knot on top of her head and she’s getting ready for bed, if her oversized T-shirt and pajama pants say anything. She’s holding a bowl of cereal.

She reminds him of Steph and that causes him to hesitate for a second. What if this girl is innocent? Their evidence is circumstantial. Maybe she just happened to talk to Vicki Vale at the wrong time.

That hesitation costs him dearly. The woman appears to feel his eyes burning the back of her head. She glances at the window and their gazes meet.

Crap. 

Lisa inhales sharply and drops her cereal bowl. Before he can reassure her of anything, she’s bolting for the door. He pats himself in the back for his backup plan, because just as she opens the door she runs right into Red Hood’s chest. Lisa stumbles backwards, her expression horrified.

“Knock knock?” Hood quips.

She lets out a squeak and guilt makes Tim wince. Once again he opens his mouth to tell her they’re not here to hurt her when she… vanishes. 

She simply disappears right in front of their eyes.

“Shit, she’s a meta,” Hood hisses. 

Red Robin’s thoughts fly a thousand miles per hour, finally making the conexions he stupidly missed for so long. Of  freaking course.  He was so used to dealing with a bunch of idiots in colorful costumes and assassins and whatnot he hadn’t taken in consideration that ninjas aren’t the only exceptional enemies they face. And if his theory is correct. 

“She’s still here,” he says. “If I’m right, she can turn invisible. That’s how she’s been listening to private conversations.”

A soft gasp follows his statement and Hood is moving almost as fast as Red Robin’s insights. An invisible woman is still solid and her clumsy footsteps are still audible, so on the moment that follows Jason seems to embrace air. 

“No!” She cries out, flashing in and out of sight for a few seconds.

“Careful,” Red Robin warns.

Hood is wearing his helmet, but Tim knows him well enough to know his brother is glaring at him as if saying  duh?  

Lisa tries to stomp on Hood’s feet, she squirms and grunts, but he doesn't budge. Apparently invisibility is her only power and she looks terrified.

“It’s okay!” Red Robin hurries to say. “We’re not going to hurt you!”

She turns her frantic gaze to him. Her brown eyes suddenly become watery. 

Shit.

“Hood, let her go,” Red Robin says. 

“Seriously?”

“Yes. You’re not going to try to escape again, are you, Lisa? We just want to ask a few questions.”

He wishes they had waited for Steph.

Lisa hesitates, paralysed, but slowly nods. Her eyes never leave Red Robin once their gazes met, not even to check whether Hood is going to let her go or not.

“Hood,” he calls again. 

Groaning something about being too trusting, Jason lets her go. He is gentle about it, too, making sure to let her feet touch the floor carefully instead of simply dropping her. Regardless, as soon as she’s left to stand on her own legs, her knees give in and she drops on the floor. At that, Tim can tell even Jason is hiding guilt behind his helmet.

He shakes his head to regain focus and crouches in front of the woman. If at this point they just apologize and leave, they’ll have traumatizes this poor woman for nothing.

“Lisa Harris,” he starts. “That’s your name, right?”

She trembles when he says her name and that should have been the first red flag. He blames it on the stressful situation and moves on.

“I’m sorry for startling you,” he says. He keeps his expression empty, even if he again can tell Jason is cringing at the understatement. “No one here is going to hurt you. We just want some answers. Is that alright?”

Her hands are balled tightly on her lap as though she’s making a lot of effort not to move them - perhaps to punch them, defend herself? But again she doesn’t look prone to start a fight.

“You’re him,” she whispers, her voice heavy with… something. It almost sounds like affection. “You’re really the Red Robin. In my room.”

That  red flag is harder to ignore. He is about to check for other shock symptoms when Hood calls.

“Hmm… Red? Are you seeing that?”

He follows his brother’s gaze… and his chin drops. On the wall opposite to the door hangs a giant corkboard. On the corkboard, held by black and red tacks there are dozens of Red Robin pictures. Some blurry, some taken from so far that you can barely be sure it’s really Red Robin or not, the infamous picture of the thumb war (demon horns had been disturbingly scribbled on Jason on that one) and… He doesn’t have words. 

“You’re my hero!” Lisa claims.

“Is he? I couldn’t tell,” Hood says.

Red Robin punches his knee, which is all he can reach from where he is, and turns his attention to the woman in front of him.

“Lisa, for how long have you been following me?”

“Since you saved me,” she says. “Well… Hm. You didn’t save me. But you stopped a heist at the Central Bank a couple of months ago and I was there. I could've died without you.”

Aw, crap on a stick.

“Do you… do you know who I am?”

“You’re Red Robin,” she repeats.

“He’s asking about his identity behind the mask.”

The way she glares at Jason doesn’t suggest she had been shaking in fear moments ago. “He’s Red Robin,” she insists. “I don’t need anything else.”

“If you don’t know… how do you have so many…” Hood gestures vaguely at her creepy corkboard.

“I did detective work,” she says and glances at Red Robin as if expecting a pat on the back. “I noticed you always go on patrol on mondays, wednesdays, fridays and saturdays. Then if I wandered around long enough… It was just a matter of hard work and bit of luck, really.”

Damn. Now that Tim thinks about it, the one time he went on patrol spontaneously was also the night Vicki Vale found him by coincidence rather than magically knowing what happened. 

“Fuuuuck,” Hood groans. “I told B patrol schedule was a dumb idea!” Then, in a deep growly voice, “ It’s a matter of efficiency Hood, don’t be paranoid. Who’s paranoid now, Batloser?”

“Not the time, Hood.”

“Right. Proceed.”

Red Robin sighs. “Why did you sell my pictures to Vicki Vale?”

At that, Lisa looks suddenly ashamed. “I.. I’m sorry. I thought… I thought you were  involved  with  him  and I panicked. I thought… I thought seeing what it would do to your reputation would make you see that he’s not good enough for you.”

“Rude.”

“Hood.”

“What? She is.”

“I was trying to learn more about him, you know? I was. When I found out he was your brother, I realized you had no option, right? Family is family. I even told the news again to clean your record.”

So he had a stalker. A stalker concerned about his love life, no less, that’s… great. Just great. Of all the scenarios he considered they’d have to face, this is not one of them. Before he decides what to do, however, Lisa speaks up again. 

“You sound so… nice.”

Tim stares at her in confusion, unsure whether to thank her or not. Regardless, she didn’t sound like she was complimenting him.

“I mean… aren’t I supposed to be?”

“No! I mean… you’re… you’re dark and brooding and serious and you don’t waste time with civilians unless forced…” She frowns and Tim figures she’s thinking about the night with the strippers. “You’re… the night.”

Jason snorts. Tim punches his knee again. “Lisa, I’m pretty sure you’re thinking of Batman, not me.”

Her expression twists in such fury both vigilantes prepare to restrain her, but instead of directing her anger at them, Lisa scoffs.

“Don’t  get me started on Batman! All that crap about being mysterious and working alone? Then he joins the freaking Justice League? Just… Batman, in the middle of a bunch of rainbow wearing clowns. And then… all those freaking kids. Why does he have so many kids?”

“Lady, we ask ourselves that everyday,” Tim admits.

Lisa is wearing the same expression Krystal had when Red Robin denied his relationship with Hood.

“I’m sorry, Lisa, I’m grateful that you admire me, but you can’t keep following me like this.”

Her eyes teary again, Lisa swallows dry. “Clearly, if you’re  sorry  about it.”

They can’t exactly take her to Arkham for taking pictures. Tim feels less bad about the whole thing when the woman stands and starts telling them in a  very loud voice  to get the hell out of her house.

“Fine,” Jason says, heading to the corkboard. “But I’m taking this.”

“Take it,” she shouts. “I don’t need it anymore. You’re  just like Batman!”

And that’s how Red Hood and Red Robin find themselves standing in the middle of a dusty hallway, Hood with a conspiracy board under his arm. 

Well, that happened. 

 In the end, Steph  was  furious about them going to the stalker’s house by themselves, but there was not a lot she could do except doodle on every picture of the stalker board. 

There must be something very wrong with their sense of humor, because their text group becomes a mess of jokes about the stalker Robin being stalked. At that Tim has no problem exercising Jason’s lessons in holding grudges and refuses to help them with any of their cases unless they stop it. The thing is that all of them find the whole thing hilarious.

All of them except Duke.

“Give it a while,” Tim tells him. “You’re the most recent acquisition to the family. In due time your idea of funny will be just as warped as ours.”

“Hm. When was the last time you slept, Timmy?” Duke asks.

“Tuesday.”

“Today is Tuesday.”

“Hahahaha yeah.”

“... Jaaaaasooon! Come over here! Tim is going into The Ring territory! Do something about it!”

Bruce doesn’t find it funny either. He isn’t happy that there’s a deranged meta he didn’t know about, but Tim thinks that was the least surprising part of the whole ordeal. He reckons a lot of metas doesn’t want to be a hero or a villain, they’re just regular people that live regular lives and happened to win in the metagene lottery. 

Or… well. In Lisa’s case, not so regular.

And that’s why upon hearing the story for the first time, Bruce  completely freaks out. He starts considering possibilities from scaring the woman as Batman - “That’s a terrible idea, dad, you heard she likes that shit,” says Dick over facetime - or having her arrested - “Father, having bad taste in men is hardly a crime. She has yet to do anything to harm Timothy” Damian helpfully reminds him - and finally to fill out a restraining order - “For who, Karen?” Jason snaps. “Red Robin? Or you want to walk into that nut job and tell her she’s not allowed near Tim Drake-Wayne?”

Long story short, it’s chaos. Tim has had enough of a crazy night, so he sits back near the training area of the cave and sips the tea Alfred made him. Bruce is doing Tim’s stressed out circuit, pacing back and forth around the cave while his children follow him - Damian is holding the phone higher than his head so Dick can talk to Bruce at eye level - and they try to talk him out of doing anything stupid.

Most of them, anyway. It looks like Duke is definitely looking into the possibility of a restraining order.

Cass detaches herself from the mess and heads towards Tim. She looks calm, as Cass always does, and some of that calm transfers to him. When she takes a seat by his side, he smiles at her.

“Okay?” she asks. 

Tim shrugs. “Weirded out, mostly. I’ll be fine.”

She points at her then signs Tim’s house as a question. She’s asking him if he wants her to come over.

While Cass is one hell of a bodyguard, Tim thinks of Steph, who’s most definitely playing with his video games back at home, and of Jason, whose schedule mostly matches Tim’s, hence he is, more often than not, at one shout of distance. Tim can’t think of any place that feels safer than his home right now.

“I’m fine. Jay and Steph are taking care of me. I’ll just have to be twice as careful during patrol,” he says.

Cass nods, satisfied. She gives him a forehead kiss and leans against his side. The two of them watch their family yell at each other for the next ten minutes, matching serene smiles on their faces.

 Bruce settles for keeping Lisa under occasional watch. 

Barbara stalks her online and finds that Lisa has left a Red Robin fanclub (Tim did not know those existed) and closed all of her threads on the Red Robin subreddit (Tim knew about those, but kept his distance), making it seem that learning that Red Robin is just a polite-ish kid really killed her love. 

Bruce says he’ll keep tabs on her because he know she’s a meta, it’s not like he’s being overprotective, he totally knows Tim can take care of himself, really. 

Other than that, Bruce is way too happy about Jason’s new living arrangement. He even  almost smiles. 

 Tim… is fine. The whole thing is creepy, for sure, but he finds out that his siblings making so many jokes about it makes it easier to handle. Yay for their unhealthy coping mechanisms. 

He doesn’t think he will ever be okay with media, though. It’s annoying enough that he has to deal with reporters as Tim Drake-Wayne, he definitely doesn’t need the attention as Red Robin. 

Luckily for him, his siblings help him with that too. One time he’s wrapping a gang bust with Nightwing when a reporter comes running towards them, begging for a few answers. Red Robin cringes inwardly realizing there are no close buildings to use his grapple, but before he can say anything, Nightwing squeezes his shoulder. 

“Go, Timmy. I’ve got this.”

Tim smile. “Thanks, Dick.”

And he leaves the silent and swift way only a Bat can do. 

 Things are great. As great as they can be in Gotham, at least. Tim wakes up at 9am - an early time for a vigilante, but he got at least 5 hours of sleep, so that’s something - and heads to the kitchen. He finds Steph (who still swears she doesn’t live with them) and Jason bickering over pancakes they’re making. Smiling to himself, Tim mumbles a good morning and starts washing the dirty dishes from last night.

The peaceful morning is interrupted by Steph’s phone buzzing. She use a paper towel to clean her hands before checking it and…

“Uh… Timbers?” she calls.

He freezes, the pan he’s washing suddenly forgotten. “What now?”

Steph is trembling with contained laughter when she hands him the phone. Duke just sent her a link to a news article. Tim clicks and finds himself staring at the headline RIVALRY BETWEEN HEROES? followed by a clear picture of Nightwing and a blurry shot of Red Robin.

The article follows:

After dealing with an infamous gang of contrabandists that operated near Gotham’s harbor, Nightwing and Red Robin went their separate ways without much courtesy. Despite the short collab, it appears that Red Robin didn’t appreciate Nighwing’s help, his farewell words being a sarcastic “thanks” followed by calling Bludhaven’s hero a “dick”.

Tim raises his eyes to the other two. Steph is hiding her face into the crook of Jason’s neck, her shoulders still trembling a bit. Having read the article over Steph’s shoulder, Jason is biting his lip.

Tim deadpans: “This is the funniest shit that ever happened to me.”

The three of them explode in laughter and they cackle for a good minute, until the three of them are breathless and their cheeks hurt.

“I-I want to print that and frame it,” Steph manages between giggles. “Let’s hang it on the living room.”

“Good… ahaha… Good work, Timbers,” Jason says, smiling wide. “For that, you can have extra pancakes.”

Tim is still grinning when he goes back to his dish duty. Maybe being under the media attention isn't so bad after all.

[eastonia-blog]

I’m going to do a weird.

I know a whole lot of us are stuck at home due to the COVID19 outbreak and all our respective governments attempting to flatten the curve. So I’m going to break out my VAST library of fanfiction recommendations for you to read! Please bear in mind that my tastes in fics are not necessarily like yours so the following 15 Fandom reccs might be hit or miss. All ships and above T ratings will be tagged with brackets, all crossovers will be mentioned in those same brackets. Also, if I mention it’s part of a series, I’m not just recommending the fic I mentioned, I’m recommending the whole series. I’ve tried to recommend a different author’s fic each time. So! Let’s start with the 3 fandoms I mention in my blog description.

1) ATLA Fate Deferred (Zutara) Aang remains in the iceberg ten years longer. Sozin’s comet comes, the world keeps turning with no Avatar to save it, and by the time he’s finally found by a waterbender and her Fire Nation husband, a lot has changed. [Zutara established relationship full series rewrite; Now on Book II: Earth]  Cheating at Pai Sho (Canon Divergence) “You said you were the Avatar!” “…I lied?” Aang doesn’t get rescued in episode two, and no one’s seen him go glowy yet… so he starts bluffing. Hard. Or: “The Avatar joins Zuko’s quest to find the Avatar.” In which Zuko doesn’t join the Gaang, the Gaang joins Zuko.  The Undying Fire: Blood and Fire (First in the Undying Fire Series, eventual Zutara) Book 1. In which rescuing the Avatar from Pohuai Stronghold doesn’t end so well. It’s a tough life being a banished prince trying to get home, especially when the Avatar just wants to be your friend and keeps making everything confusing. Oh, and did Zuko mention he somehow healed the kid? Yeah, that happened. Stalking Zuko (First in the Stalking Zuko Series, eventual Zutara) Katara has developed a new hobby. At the Western Air Temple she takes to stalking Zuko. Much silliness and shenanigans follow. In chapter 20: Katara and Zuko return home to the others. Katara hates the F word and she comes to a decision regarding Zuko.  Embers (Canon divergence) Dragon’s fire is not so easily extinguished; when Zuko rediscovers a lost firebending technique, shifting flames can shift the world…  2) Percy Jackson and the Olympians The Father (Percabeth in the GFFA, eventual Anidala) It all started with a wish, but because it was Percy Jackson it couldn’t have been a friendly goddess granting him a wish. No, it had to be Nemesis, goddess of revenge and balance. Now Percy and Annabeth are stuck in a strange new galaxy right when an ancient and powerful darkness finally begins to stir.  Glass Figures (MCU Mashup) I lifted my gun, pointing it towards the minefield of shattered fragments, and kicked the small coffee table out of the way.Only to stare down at an awfully familiar face, which split into a somewhat lopsided grin. The intruder raised his hands in a mocking surrender. //“Long time no see, dude.” //I lowered the gun. “What the hell are you doing in South Peru?” //Or in which Clint Barton and Percy Jackson have a long personal history that starts in high school. All Together, Cousins (Canon divergence) When Thalia ran away with her toddler brother, Jason, she slowly gathered her cousins: she and her cousins being Big Three children. As Jason gets older and their motley group expands to six, Thalia resigns herself to the fact that she won’t always be the leader of the pack. As she accepts that, something more is coming, able to challenge even the gods above. A Crown of Golden Leaves (Historical AU) Annabeth, a Lady from the declining polis of Athens, must marry the Heir Apparent of Rome to save the rapidly expanding world from a threat even the gods couldn’t foresee.  Deluge (Percy in the Arrowverse) Barry has to deal with yet another Metahuman that Zoom has pitted against him. But this ‘Metahuman’ is an unwilling pawn in Zoom’s plan and really wants to find a way around killing the Scarlet Speester. But how can he when Zoom is holding something against him? 

3) DC Firework (First in the Sparks in the Dark Series) Orphaned and removed from the only life he’s ever known, Dick feels like there’s no light left for him in the world. His new benefactor, however, still sees something worth saving… Chronological beginning of the Spark in the Dark series.   Iron, Fire, Mirror-Glass After a brutal confrontation with Bane, Bruce comes away with a broken spine and the certainty that his days as Batman are over. An unexpected discovery offers him another chance—but at what price? The story of a man who risks his soul for the sake of his mission, the dangerous creature he names Robin, and the unlikely partnership that will shape the legend of Gotham’s Dark Knight.  Get Back Up There was a mole, one who played a long game. The team was betrayed, crushed. Robin nearly died. What are they going to do now? Only one chirped the answer. Get back up. WARNING: lots of talking, little action, many follow ups  Five Times …Five times Damian thought of Dick Grayson as his father, and the one time Dick thought of Damian as his son. Future-fic. YJ characters will show up later. Batman!Dick and Damian as Robin. With guest appearances from Jason, Tim, Cass, and Steph.  Unveiling the Mystery Series of one-shots about the team learning a little about Robin (Dick Grayson).   With all the fics, I heavily suggest you also read what else these authors have to offer in their archive.

And now here’s the plethora of other fandoms I read fics in under the cut!

4) Harry Potter The Horse (Mature) Looking after a Muggle animal should be easy compared to saving Hogwarts from Voldemort. Harry and Draco might disagree with that. Featuring Luna, Marauders, peppermints and, of course, a tall, black, badtempered horse named Simon. The Potions Master’s Nephew An accident occurs and Professor Snape finds himself trapped in his fifteen-year-old body. Enrolled into Harry Potter’s fifth year, he is forced to hide his true identity. Girls, drama and teenage angst do not bode well with Severus. Keeping Up with the Grangers (Dramione, Mature) Mr. Malfoy, I invite you and your mother to tea next Tuesday, May 25th at 2o’clock to discuss recent events. Dr. Helen Granger //…  …// He glances at the boxy too-uniform numbers flashing on the face of Richard’s radio. It’s nearly noon, and he should be getting ready to leave; but there is still a harsh tension in his shoulders and neck that he wants to work out before Hermione finds him. It is, after all, Tuesday; and while his Tuesdays were designated ‘tea with Helen’ days previously, they are now ‘lunch with Granger’ days, ever since the chance meet-up with the Weasel’s wife and the insufferable swot herself. Faceless (Dramione, Mature) New year. New love. New threat. A powerful enemy is on the rise, and Hermione Granger finds herself intertwined in a relationship with Draco Malfoy – only she doesn’t know it’s him. / / RUNNER-UP: Enchanted Awards Summer 2017 for Best Relationship Development 

5) Devil May Cry And the Rest is Silence (Mature) The destruction of the Saviour wasn’t the end. Too many people had too much invested.  An Uncle’s Thoughts Dante’s thoughts and feelings regarding one particular quarter-demon kid. Vignettes that span from the start of Devil May Cry 4 through Devil May Cry 5, and beyond. Fortuna’s Fool Events after DMC5 with flashbacks to the events we briefly see in DMC4SE only with Vergil telling Dante all about Nero’s mother. Family ties are so complicated, aren’t they? Family of Happenstance Some orphans have happy endings, getting adopted or finding their family. Having a demon slaying half devil for a father tends to throw a tiny monkey wrench in the process. AU Father!Dante, Son!Nero. Rated because hunters don’t exactly have clean mouths.     

6) Power Rangers (Focus on Might Morphin’ and Dino Thunder teams) Of Love and Bunnies Set just after Dino Thunder. When Angel Grove announces another Power Rangers Day, Tommy takes the Dino Rangers to Angel Grove for a reunion with the original team… including Kimberly. TommyKim, JasonTrini, KiraTrent. The Reason (Part 1 of eclyptyk neo‘s Dino Thunder AU) COMPLETED. DT. AU. Years go by as Tommy Oliver becomes accustomed to his job as a teacher. A person from his past returns. The new ranger team grows interested in its outcome. How will these new changes between rangers young and old be? Sequel: Ordinary World Change of Hearts (Wild Force)   PRWF: When Jindrax and Toxica set out to find themselves, they had no idea that their greatest adventure was only beginning. Chronology Conundrum DT/MMPR - After a strange mutation is released in Reefside, the five Dino Thunder Ranges find themselves thrown back into the past, circa 1995 Angel Grove. Somehow, they have to figure out how to make it back to their present without destroying it or themselves. And if they succeed, they must navigate the consequences of their actions in the past, while still protecting Reefside. 7) Merlin (Mergana leaning) The Other Version of Events What if Merlin and Arthur had met when they were children? What if a mysterious illness fell over Ealdor and Merlin was blamed? What if Arthur had actually felt sorry for him? What if destiny was thrown at them in a whole new way? AU, no slash, Bromance, A/G M/M… You get the idea.  Flipping the Coin, Part 2 of Coins (2nd story in the Coins Sage but 1st multichapter) Merlin and Gwaine are sent on an adventure to discover their past and stay one step ahead of Morgana. Fearing for them, Arthur and the other knights set out to find them, but soon discover much more than they bargained for. Alt version Season 5. Sequel to “Two Sides of the Coin” Angst, Adventure, BAMF, Bromance, Redemption, Twists on Arthurian Legends.  The King’s Legacy “I hope you are rolling in your grave brother, I will find your son, and I hope he is like you. I will ruin him and gain a lovely weapon in the process.” Cenred spat on the grave, “I win Balinor.” .Sequel posted.  The Warlock’s Quickening (First in the Albion Cycle) Merlin might have come to Camelot to master his magic, not to end the Purge, but he’s not going to sit idly by while his kin suffer. Oh no. Whether it’s releasing a chained dragon, smuggling sorcerers out of the city, or trying to change Arthur’s mind, he’s fighting back. Now. Series rewrite beginning after 1X02 featuring Proactive!Merlin. AU. 

8) Dragon Ball Under the Radar (Gohan/Videl) Gohan is living life as a secret superhero, but Videl is making it her business to find him out! How will Gohan manage her and Saiyan hormones? Will he fess up? Or will he try to live his life -puts on sunglasses- “Under the Radar”? *applause* Thank you! Thank you! And GOODNIGHT! G/V obviously. Rated T because adult situations and language in later chapters. COMPLETE! Golden God (Mature) To save the lives of millions, Gohan is forced to expose himself as a Super Saiyan, proving that his tricks are indeed very real. And it drives the whole world to insanity. Warning; becomes a little graphic goes as it on. Walking Towards the Sunset Bardock’s curse sends him to a mysterious place where weaklings are abundant and an odd trio claim to be his family. Eventually giving in, he stays with them to discover that Earth is more unlucky than Planet Vegeta. Impatiently waiting for his son’s arrival, Bardock has to survive a new life with his estranged family and a certain girl set on finding the truth. (Saiyaman-Buu Saga) Plus One (Gohan/Videl, Mature) Tired of being pursued by the gold-digging, glory-seeking, Satan obsessed freaks of the world, Videl will resort to the only method open to a celebrity like her to find Mr. Right. 9) Sailor Moon (Mainly SenshiShitennou) The Crystal Age (Rewritten) In an alternate version of Season 1, as a result of Beryl’s curse at the end of the Silver Age, Tuxedo Mask and the reincarnated Shitennou are fighting a losing battle to save the city and find the lost princess. Sailor Moon has disappeared, Sailor V is working on her own, and the other Senshi are still just ordinary girls. Sequel to The Silver Age. MxU, SxS. Please R&R. Hooligans It’s after Galaxia and time for University. The Senshi and Mamoru settle into life in Great Britain and meet some old friends. Inner Senshi x Shitennou and Usagi x Mamoru. Modern Timeline. Strong language, crude humour, hilarity and sexual situations abound, be warned, there will be some heavy angst later on too. Never Gone R A single choice can change the course of Fate: a choice, say, like waking up on time. If that choice were made, Chiba Mamoru would never meet Tsukino Usagi; but, he WOULD meet Unami Seiya and the burden of Terra’s future would fall onto his shoulders. Never Gone AU. The Dinner Hour (Part of The Dinner Series) It can be hard to be patient in the face of eternity. But good things come to those who search and refuse to give up on their dreams. R/J. (Sequels: Dinner And Again, Dinner at Last completed!)

10) Les Miserables (Warning: Enjonine ahead) When Apollo Met Persephone (1st of the 1830s AU) The revolution, or at least the first part of it succeeds. Enjolras confronts political and personal realities. Eponine is suddenly faced with more opportunities than she ever thought. Can they guide each other in a world that needs them as much as they need it? Les Choses Qui Sont Arrivées Après “You must flee Paris at once.” Enjolras and Eponine. The thief and the leader, the marble Apollo and the dark street girl… two wholly different survivors of the Revolution are forced together under a dangerous circumstance. Can they successfully fight their demons as well as each other? Neither of them knows quite what is going on, or what will happen when they figure it out.     Teacher of Man The first time Enjolras and Éponine meet, it is their wedding day. (arranged marriage AU) My Best Friend’s Wedding Éponine Thenardiér always thought that Marius would eventually come back to her, until the wedding invitation came in the mail. Now she is going to do everything that she can to get him back from that blonde tart Cosette. Nothing goes according to plan and even her partner in crime Enjolras is becoming an obstacle. E/E. 11) Naruto Beginnings  Naruto was six years old when he met the man who changed his life. …Now he’s kind of just hoping he survives it.  An Inch of Gold (Part of the Legacy of Fire series) Team 7 is sent on a mission to investigate a disturbance outside of the village, where they encounter an unconscious girl in a crater. The mysterious Sarada insists she’s a shinobi from the Hidden Leaf trying to rescue her teammates. When the team discovers she possesses a Sharingan, things become even more unbelievable. [Part of the Legacy of Fire Series]     Guilt of Innocence Uchiha Sasuke abandoned Konoha in his persute of power to join Orochimaru. However, this was only a cover story. In fact, on Tsunade’s orders, Sasuke is to act as Konoha’s spy within Otogakure. One agreement and his path had changed forever…  Blind (SasuSaku) It was almost time, Orochimaru was going to take his body as a vessel. He hated being used…he refused to be used. With that thought, he took the kunai in his hand and slashed across his eyes.     

12) Legend of Zelda (Zelink) The Conviction to Save The princess is dead. Those are the words being whispered in the streets. A great shudder sweeps across the land of Hyrule as news of its beloved monarch’s passing spreads like wildfire. In the midst of the ensuing chaos, a humble village doctor happens upon the body of a gravely injured young woman on the road. Legend of the Miraculous (Concepts taken from Miraculous Ladybug)   A legend retold through many a tale, but when a darkness resurfaces after so long, Athena and Sheikhan Wolf must return again! Will Link and Zelda be able to combat this threat? and will they figure out each others’ identities? Come inside and take a look! Hit List AU. It all started as a typical day at Ordon High, until a sudden school shooting turns the life of Link Hero upside down. Now, surrounded by enemies, can Link save his friends and escape the school alive? (Edit 10/2015) Counting Stars Link finds himself caught in the middle of an elaborate gang war. Lucky for him, being a B-list superhero makes that predicament a tiny bit easier. / Modern AU ZeLink, inspired by Spider-Man. Under Revision! 13) Hunger Games Vox Libertas Due to things playing out a bit differently in the last few minutes of the Quell, the rescue also goes a bit differently than expected. Now Peeta has the responsibility of representing the Rebellion thrust upon him. No pressure. *AU Mockingjay. Part I of Dandelion in the Storm AU. Mainly Peeta POV.*     Someone To Watch Over Me (Everlark, 1st in the Series) A HG rewrite. What would happen if Peeta was just a little bit bolder, and Katniss a little less emotionally confused? You’d be surprised. Let the Games begin. This is an AU, but I’ve tried to stay as canon as possible. Rated T to be safe.     Enthralled (Everlark, Gadge, Mature) Thrall (þræll), n., a slave or serf in Viking Age Scandinavia. After a successful raid, Gale is rewarded with a slave girl: the Saxon noblewoman Madge. Meanwhile, shieldmaiden Katniss grows closer to captive monk Peeta. Gadge/Everlark historical AU with background Odesta and other pairings.   Katniss, Vampire Slayer (Mature) “Into every generation a slayer is born.” the man droned out slowly, quietly, in a way that made her think he was quoting something. “One girl in all the world. A chosen one. She alone will wield the strength and skill to fight the vampires, demons, and the forces of darkness; to stop the spread of their evil and the swell of their number. She is the Slayer.” //  Haymitch mocked. “One girl in all the world. Ain’t I just lucky it had to be you.” 14) How To Train Your Dragon Becoming Lífþrasir (Hiccstrid) People often wondered what kept Hiccup going during those early years. When that single, most-treasured thing is taken from him, there is little left to keep him on Berk. The day Stoick returns, and the day before the best recruit is finally chosen, Hiccup leaves Berk; little knowing that he would one day return under … strange circumstances. H/A, R/F, rated for violence.     HTTYD Easter Special Sequel to “The Unholy Offspring,” set after the season finale. When Alvin the Treacherous threatens Asgard with a rogue demigod’s help, Hiccup and Berk’s Dragon Riders must prevent an early Ragnorak. It doesn’t help that Alvin has learned to tame dragons, and that the only god that can help Hiccup is a sullen, suspicious boy named Mud. Happy Eos week, Hiccup!     The Blacksmith’s Apprentice (Hiccstrid) AU. Hiccup never took the shot on that fateful night-and the war continued. Three years later, Berk is beset by dragon raids and hostile tribes while the boy who should have saved the island is merely the assistant in the forge. With only Astrid as his friend, fate gives Hiccup one more chance to end the war and become the hero he was meant to be. Hiccstrid. Snap (Hiccstrid, Mature) He was just supposed to fix her back, and she doubted that at first. She definitely didn’t expect to get dragged into the ethics of a girlish crush. Modern AU. 15) Star Wars Double Agent Vader The one where Vader turned double agent for the Rebellion about three years after ROTS, and Leia is now his primary contact with the Rebellion. Or,  a man attempts to escape slavery by turning into one of his culture heroes, teaching his daughter how to do magic, killing people, and flower arranging. A New History During a heated battle, Dooku escaped into the past! Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker follow to stop him, but discover that Dooku went to the past where Obi-Wan is a young padawan to a very much alive Qui-Gon Jinn. Now, the two must go undercover to stop Dooku’s plans from coming to fruition in order to save not only the future, but also young Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn. Pulse AU for ROTS. As Padme’s life hangs in the balance on Mustafar, a stream of brilliant light causes Anakin to reconsider his choices. Jedi Shmi AU Shmi leaves Tatooine with Anakin and goes to the Jedi Temple.

[padfootagain]

Watching TV with Ben would include...

It's the first time I do this kind of thing, I hope it's not too bad...

It's a bit long, I know, but don't forget who's the fool who's writing ;) And I actually had so much fun writing this, I got a bit carried away :)

Pairing: Ben Barnes Reader

* The News :

- You two sitting next to each other on the couch, most of the time doing something else, like reading or working

- You stealing his sweater to feel more comfortable

- Nudging him to pay attention for important news

- Holding hands when terrible news are announced, showing how fucked up the world you're living in truly is

- Cuddling in his arms if the news are too horrible

- Him kissing your forehead and whispering that everything will be all right

"As long as we are together, we'll be just fine, Y/N. I promise we'll be just fine. No matter what happens out there, I'll always be here for you."

 * Horror movies :

- You ending up in his arms after the first scary scene

- Burying your face in his chest so you won't see what happens, although you ask him with a terrified voice to describe everything

"Are they dead already? Ben? Ben? What happened? Tell me they aren't dead. Oh my God..."

- At first he's making the tough guy, but he's quickly jumping at every scary scene just like you

- Both of you screaming at least once during the movie

- Holding each other tightly, switching position every five seconds because of the tension the movie brought into the room

- You lose a bit more of pop-corn every time you and Ben are scared as it flies across the room when you're startled, and you spend thirty minutes at the end of the movie to clean up the whole living room

-You're so scared after the movie that you make sure to stay in the same room as Ben until you're both lying in your bed and he's holding you tightly in his arms

"It's late love, you can go to bed, I'll clean up everything."

"No, no, it's okay."

"These dark circles under your eyes don't say the same."

"Ben... where are you going?"

"In the kitchen."

"Wait... Ben, wait..."

 * Romantic movies :

- Resting your head on his shoulder at first, but he quickly wraps his arms around you and you're soon cuddling

- Eating lots of chocolate

- You slowly slipping down his chest and ending up lying on the couch, resting your head on his laps

- Feeling his tender stare upon you and this cute little smirk of his every time there's a cute/romantic scene between the two protagonists

- Him playing with your hair

- By the end of the movie, you're both lying on the couch, his arms wrapped tightly around you, your fingers intertwined, and it takes you half an hour to get up until you give him the right argument

"Ben, we should go to sleep."

"Why? It's very comfortable here."

"Stop kissing my neck and let's go to bed."

"Not a chance."

"I've never said I was sleepy, Ben."

"What are you still doing here then? Let's go to bed!"

 * Action movies

- You two eating lots of pop-corn

- Him lying down on the couch and resting his head on your laps, his neck contortioned for him to watch the TV and still be able to see you

"Tomorrow, it'll be impossible for you to move your head, Ben."

"Nah, I'll be just fine. Hand me the pop-corn, would you?"

- Running your hand through his hair

- Him laughing at you when you wince at the most violent fights

"That must be so painful..."

"You know it's not real, right love?"

"Oh shut up, you bloody actor..."

- This kind of films have a tendency to make him restless, so you watch crappy TV after the movie, until he's tired enough to go to bed

 * Comedies :

- Ben laughs so easily, he's already dying after ten minutes

- Both of you laughing like mad, holding your sides

- You making fun of him because he's choking so much and he has turned crimson with all the laughing

"You laugh too easily!"

"It's funny!"

"You should see your face, Ben. You're the funny thing here."

- Him getting his revenge by throwing a cushion at your face

- You don't listen to the end of the movie, too busy fighting against his tickle attack

 * Detective movies :

- Both of you intensely focusing the whole time

- Debates all along trying to guess who could be the killer

- Ben narrowing his eyes every time he thinks he has found a clue to guess the identity of the murderer

- Grabbing Ben's hand whenever there's some tension

- Both of you gasping when the identity of the criminal is revealed and none of you had even thought about suspecting him

"The son of a bitch..."

"Wow... I hadn't guessed that at all..."

"Me neither!"

"I thought it was the mother."

"Me too!"

"Fuck..."

- You're always a bit tensed after thrillers, so Ben leaves the light on for a bit longer when you two go to bed, holding you tightly in his arms until you've fallen asleep

 * Sport :

- Both of you drinking beer and eating peanuts

- You forcing him to wear the scarf of your favourite team even if he hates them

"I'm not supporting your team, Y/N."

"Oh... please..."

"No way."

"Please..."

"Stop making puppy eyes."

"Please..."

"Give me the fucking scarf..."

- Rugby, basket, football, soccer... : both of you tensed as hell the whole match and jumping on your feet every time you think your team is going to score

Boxing, Judo, karate... : Both of you wincing every time someone is hurt

Gym, diving, figure skating... : Round eyes at every crazy jumps or acrobatic figures

Tennis, golf, long competitions... : You being very focused for a while, but your attention slowly fades, and you end up sleeping in his arms

- You laughing at him when his team loses, but Ben always wins

"So, how does losing feel, Ben?"

"No need to brag..."

"Yes... but you lost!"

"Hell..."

"Ben? What are you doing? Put me down! Ben. Put. Me. Down."

"Nope."

"No, don't go into the bedroom..."

"What do you want to bet that I can convince you?"

"Oh... I know you will convince me, that's not the point..."

"Y/N, shut up and let me kiss you now..."

 * Series

- Pizzas and beer, pop-corn if it's not time for dinner

- Ben biting his nails most of the show in expectation

- You cuddling against him when there's a scary scene

- Both of you throwing pop-corn at the TV in frustration if a character you wanted to die survives

- Both of you in shock if one of your favourite characters dies and you both overreact every time, before coming back to your senses

"It's over. I'm never going to watch this show again."

"Me neither, Y/N. Are they serious? He can't die!"

"He's the best character of the series!"

"Yes!"

"Or perhaps he's not dead..."

"When you're stabbed in the heart, you generally die though."

"But they can't do that! Okay, that's it, I'm done. I'm fucking done. Let's go to bed."

"Or... we could watch another episode."

"... Yeah, let's do that."

- Ending up watching this show all night long, lying upon Ben, resting your head on his chest, both of you covered with your warmest blanket

 * Bonus : watching one of Ben's movies/series

- Ben doesn't like watching his own movies so you have to fight hard to convince him, although you know how to find the right arguments

"Ben, please... watch it with me..."

"Y/N, please. I really don't want to."

"But Ben... Please, for me."

"I could use this one too, you know?"

"Come on, I'll do whatever you want for the rest of the evening."

"You can't use sex every time you want to convince me to do something."

"It doesn't have to be sex, I could make you massage, or prepare you a bath, or bake you a cake..."

"I think I still prefer sex though."

- Him blushing every time he's on screen

- Him laughing at you when you're shocked, looking back and forth at him and the TV

"I guess you're a really good actor... I mean... you're such a sweetheart... and this guy is such a dick. I like him though..."

"Because he has my face of course, not because you think he's rather cool."

"Of course..."

- Playing with his fingers and resting your head in the crook of his neck

- Him dropping lots of kisses on your head because he knows the story and obviously doesn't need to stay focused

- You struggling to stay focused until the end of the movie because of Ben's sweet touch and gentle kisses. You give in the second the movie stops, and Ben only raises an eyebrow when you sit up, straddling him and tugging on his oversized T-shirt

"Y/N?"

"All right, you win, Ben."

"Y/N...?"

"Just kiss me already, you idiot..."

[infiniteglitterfall]

I was wondering if you had any queer and/or social justice books you could recommend? (Also completely different topic but what does "Don't be a dick, Alan" mean? Is it a quote or reference or something?)

excellent question! it is an in-joke with myself. someone was being a passive-aggressive racist douchebag on Nextdoor, and I replied with “Don’t be a dick, Alan.” which i think we all know is surprisingly pithy for me. I thought it would be a good thing to use to replace the default text people see when they write an ask. I didn’t realize at first that I had actually replaced the text of the “ask me anything” link on my blog. But it didn’t seem to stop people from sending asks, so I left it there. I can’t say it STOPS people from being dicks, but most people who send me asks are very nice either way. Queer/social justice is kind of a broad topic (two broad topics really) so I’ll just give you a sampling of my favorites and my to-reads: Boys Like Her: Transfictions - I don’t know how it would hold up today, but it was amazing in 1998. IIRC, at least one of the authors is intersex and trans, and writes about that, and there are a lot of pieces about being genderqueer and/or queer in general. (The book is “a provocative collection of fiction and images from Taste This, a queer performance group including Anna Camilleri, Ivan Coyote, Zoe Eakle and Lyndell Mongomery.”) 

I really need to read For Colored Boys Who Speak Softly, by “undocuqueer” poet Yosimar Reyes. He wrote A Poem So That The Weight Of This Country Does Not Crush You. He is an amazing author/activist; I follow him on Facebook, and even his Facebook posts are perfect: 

“My art is for my Undocumented people I could care less if the average American doesn’t know why I can’t become legal and I am no longer going to answer that question. They can go on google. My priority is making sure my people don’t despair. My audience is my own and I’m unapologetic about that!”

“You think it’s just about a social security number but just imagine how much that number gives you access. There are so many young people of color that give up cause this country tells them it’s not their home and they were born here. I know this country is not mine to claim according to some people but when is this country going to acknowledge that they uprooted me from my home? When are y'all going to start facing the violence of your history?” 

Sunnybrook: A True Story With Lies, by Persimmon Blackbridge is short and colorful, and groundbreaking for me in exposing the ableism in the mental health industry, and helping me understand disability rights around mental health in general. It’s “he hilarious and angry story of a young woman who fakes her way into a job that changes her life. One cover-up follows another as Diane hides her learning disabilities from her new employer, the ‘Sunnybrook Institution for the Mentally Handicapped’ and her girlfriend. But her dreams of becoming ‘a professional’ are threatened by her identification with the inmates at Sunnybrook. And when Diane meets Shirley-Butch at the bar, her lesbian identity and her psychiatric history become irrevocably intertwined. Moving back and forth between Diane’s job and her personal life, Sunnybrook is by turns funny, tragic and sexy. It is a riveting and visually arresting story about a group of people whose lives are made up of small acts of resistance, who steal moments of joy whenever possible.” Very Tumblr. Persimmon Blackbridge’s entire body of work is amazing, lots of radical queer working-class mentally-ill fiction. I loved Transgender Warriors: Making History from Joan of Arc to Dennis Rodman, which is sort of a combination of a memoir and a stroll through people who transcended gender norms throughout history. It’s not a well-sourced historical text arguing that each person was trans, it’s basically a trans person going “look at this, these people’s experiences were similar to ours.” 

I don’t know how it would hold up today, but there are two books that do a more “real”, rigorous, intentional historical exploration of trans people that I really want to read: Transgender History, by Susan Stryker (a bi trans historian) and um… 

Ok, and that’s the only one, because I thought the other one was an updating of Transgender Warriors, but it’s actually a collection of trans writing and art from people all around the world: Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation. One review says, “The editors have made selections representative of the diversity to be found in the global trans* community - those sharing their thoughts and experiences express a range of gender identities - and some decline gender identification all together. While many of the voices come from North America, there are contributors from all around the world - Spain, Singapore, Mexico, Argentina, Kenya among others - and from a multitude of ethnic backgrounds. The contributions range from the deeply personal to the highly theoretical, from formal essay to autobiographical narrative to poetry to visual art.” 

I need to read Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution, by Shiri Eisner; River read it last year and the bits I glimpsed (or got to hear out loud) were too good. 

Ditto Queer And Trans Artists of Color: Stories of Some Of Our Lives, where Nia King “discusses fat burlesque with Magnoliah Black, queer fashion with Kiam Marcelo Junio, interning at Playboy with Janet Mock, dating gay Latino Republicans with Julio Salgado, intellectual hazing with Kortney Ryan Ziegler, gay gentrification with Van Binfa, getting a book deal with Virgie Tovar, the politics of black drag with Micia Mosely, evading deportation with Yosimar Reyes,” [oh hey!] “weird science with Ryka Aoki, gay public sex in Africa with Nick Mwaluko, thin privilege with Fabian Romero, the tyranny of "self-care” with Lovemme Corazon, “selling out” with Miss Persia and Daddie$ Pla$tik, the self-employed art activist hustle with Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarsinha, and much, much more.” On the “bi trans author” topic, I really want to read Excluded: Making Feminist and Queer Movements More Inclusive, by Julia Serano. She is a very clear and well-reasoned writer, and it also seems like a “very Tumblr book”: “Among LGBTQ activists, there is a long history of lesbians and gay men dismissing bisexuals, transgender people, and other gender and sexual minorities. In each case, exclusion is based on the premise that certain ways of being gendered or sexual are more legitimate, natural, or righteous than others…. Serano advocates for a new approach to fighting sexism that avoids these pitfalls and offers new ways of thinking about gender, sexuality, and sexism that foster inclusivity rather than exclusivity.” I have a lot of concerns tho because at least one reviewer noted that she totally leaves race out of it, which ?????W HYYYYYYYY???? why would you do that when talking about feminism OR inclusivity?????????? It’s possible that Whipping Girl would be a better read; it’s certainly an extremely highly recommended one. This Bridge Called My Back: Writings by Radical Women of Color is old but is still fucking amazing, and was ground-breaking as hell. I can’t do it justice, click through and read the reviews. As one of them says, it’s a must-read. 

Back on to-reads, “Born on the Edge of Race and Gender: A Voice for Cultural Competency “ by Willy Wilkinson is one I’ve only flipped through in the bookstore but it looked really good and fun. “This poetic, journalistic memoir shines an intersectional beacon on the ambiguity and complexity of mixed heritage, transgender, and disability experience, and offers an intimate window into how current legislative and policy battles impact the lives of transgender people. Whether navigating the men’s locker room like a “stealth trans Houdini,” accessing lifesaving health care, or appreciating his son’s recognition of him as a “transformer,” Wilkinson compellingly illustrates the unique, difficult, and sometimes comical experiences of transgender life.”

ok, i think that is a good start! 

[imaginationsjournal]

 7-2 | Table of Contents | DOI 10.17742/IMAGE.VOS.7-2.6 | ReiaPDF Coming Soon!

[column size=one_half position=first ]Abstract | When Minor Threat sang “I’ve got straight edge” back in the 1980s they could not imagine the proportions the straight edge message would achieve in a few years. In São Paulo, the straight edge subculture was consolidated in the 1990s around a collective and its festival Verdurada, which is still active. The dynamics to establish the boundaries of the straight edge identity are complex, usually dealing with several visual aspects. This work aims to shed light onto the visuality of the straight edge subculture and the Verdurada, discussing the place(s) that straight edgers occupy in the 21st century.[/column]

[column size=one_half position=last ]Résumé | Lorsque le groupe Minor Threat chanté « I’ve got straight edge » dans les années 1980, il ne pouvait pas imaginer les proportions que le message straight edge pourrait atteindre. À São Paulo, le straight edge sous-culture a été consolidée dans les années 1990 autour du festival Verdurada et son collectif homonyme, qui est toujours actif. La dynamique d’établir les limites de l’identité straight edge est complexe, généralement constitué par plusieurs aspects visuels. Ce travail vise à analyser la visualité de la sous-culture straight edge et la Verdurada, en discutant la place qui les straight edgers occupent dans le 21e siècle.[/column]

Jessica Reia | Center for Technology and Society, FGV Law School

AROUND THE X: Reflections on Straight Edge, Visuality, and Identity Boundaries

In 1981 a band called Minor Threat released the song “Straight Edge.”[i] The band’s vocalist, Ian MacKaye, made it clear that the group had chosen the path of sobriety, noting that they had better things to do than consume drugs, smoke, or drink alcohol. In his words, the band had “got the straight edge.” Straight edge then became a movement, even though MacKaye denies his role as its founder (Kuhn 34). Authors who have written about the straight edge subculture—such as Robert Wood (2006), Beth Lahickey (2007), Ross Haenfler (2004; 2009), and Gabriel Kuhn (2010)—argue that it emerged in opposition to the “live fast, die young” nihilism of punk and the abuse of alcohol and drugs inside the scene. Devoting itself to the enjoyment of musical performances and keeping a distance from the use of alcohol and other substances, the straight edge movement adopted the “X” as a powerful signifier of sobriety and abstinence, to be inscribed on bodies and made to be seen (Foster ix).

A few years later, the values and visual elements of straight edge arrived in the global south, and entered Brazil. Not until the 1990s, however, would straight edge be consolidated as a subculture in that country, through the Verdurada collective and its homonymous festivals. At the same time, straight edge both opposed and was intertwined with the Brazilian hardcore punk scene. The subculture also developed deep connections to the city of São Paulo and to the issues, opportunities, dynamics, territories, and social life of that city.

It is important to highlight the decision to use the terms “scene�� and “subculture” in this essay. It made sense to talk about a punk scene in São Paulo in the 1970s, but as hardcore bands and labels emerged and overlapped with the established physical and symbolic territories of punk, it became more useful to speak of a “hardcore punk scene” in the city, especially in the 1990s.  Today, the expression “hardcore punk” has been adopted by bands, labels, and other participants involved in the scene, and the term now encompasses several musical subgenres, interests, political approaches, events, and forms of visuality. In my years of fieldwork studying this hardcore punk scene, I focused specifically on the straight edge subculture or movement within it. In this research, it became clear that, while those who identified themselves (and others) as part of the straight edge subculture did so in relation to ideas of sobriety (which they defined quite rigidly), membership in the overarching hardcore punk scene involved a much more fluid range of expected behaviours. In a general sense, we might see straight edge as a subculture operating within a larger hardcore punk scene, with the latter characterized by overlapping networks of bands, audience, venues, territories, and labels, and by the circulation of people and goods.

The constitution of the boundaries that demarcate the straight edge identity within the hardcore punk scene is not obvious from the outside, and are negotiated through conflicts between people over how to be straight edge or to be seen as straight edge by their peers. In his research into the boundaries of straight edge identity, Robert Wood (“The Straightedge Youth Sub-Culture”) shows how “straightedgers share commonalities in sub-cultural identity, but that sub-cultural identity also is a highly fluid, contingent, and contradictory phenomenon that is constructed and experienced idiosyncratically by the very same members” (33-34). In other words, if we look at the subculture from the outside, it can appear to be stable and homogenous. From the inside, however, straight edge is seen as highly diverse and its boundaries are relatively fluid, subject to change, disruption, and fragmentation over time (50). One reason for this diversity is that the boundaries of straight edge have been shaped by values beyond those of sobriety and abstinence. These include such lifestyle options as vegetarianism and veganism, or the discourses and practices that define purity in relation to political practice or sexual promiscuity. The values of straight edge vary widely from one subcultural grouping to another and within these groupings themselves. Thus, in Brazil, the values of vegetarianism and veganism are of high importance for the Verdurada collective, while the acceptability of caffeine or certain medicines is disputed.

Within this complexity, the visual aspects of the straight edge subculture assume a significant role. As Gillian Rose and Divya Tolia-Kelly suggest, with respect to the analysis of human practices, an attention to associations between the visual and material provides a means for investigating how things are made visible, which things are visible, and for whom this visuality is important (4). In this sense, analysing visual and material elements can:

[m]ake things visible in specific ways, or not, and this approach thus draws attention to the constitution of human subjectivities and the visual objects their practices create. This is somewhat different from enquiries based on looking, seeing, analysing and writing text; instead, it considers the (geo)politics of embodied, material encounter and engagement. (Rose and Tolia-Kelly 3)

As Dick Hebdige suggests in his work “Hiding in the Light,” the bodies of youth can be used as an exercise of power, since they deal with the politics of signs:

“Youth culture” as sign-system centres on the body—on appearance, posture, dress. If teenagers possess little else, they at least own their own bodies. If power can be exercised nowhere else, it can be at least be exercised here. The body can be decorated, and enhanced like a cherished object. (Hebdige 31)

The body and its adornment make straight edgers and their values visible. The visual aspects of straight edge subcultures have been analyzed in a number of works which go beyond the X that usually represents connection to the subculture. These include Michael Atkinson’s (“The Civilizing of Resistance: Straightedge Tattooing”) discussion of straight edge tattooing, Ross Haenfler’s (Straight Edge: Clean Living Youth, Hardcore Punk, and Social Change) study of styles of dress within the subculture, and Jesse Helton and William Staudenmeier, Jr.’s examination (“Re-imagining Being ‘Straight’ in Straight Edge”) of “straight-edge symbols.” My study also addresses Joao Bittencourt’s (Sóbrios, firmes e convictos: Uma etnocartografia dos straightedges em São Paulo) analysis of the album covers of straight edge recordings and posters produced by and for the Verdurada’s collective.

Al Larsen (“Fast, Cheap and Out of Control: The Graphic Symbol in Hardcore Punk”) presents an interesting analysis of the visual culture of the first wave of American hardcore punk, which included elements from straight edge subculture. According to Larsen, the use of simple graphic symbols (such as the X) as band logos and to “signal a local or ideological affiliation within the subculture” were important during this first wave, since they could be quickly and easily reproduced. They embodied “hardcore subculture values of participation and collectivity while contributing to the spread of the subculture outside of commercial channels” (Larsen 91). Indeed, most of straight edge’s graphic symbols are still in use by youth committed to sober living in the subculture.

This work is part of a three-year research project on the straight edge subculture in São Paulo. The fieldwork was conducted from 2011 to 2013 using mixed methods: participant observation, photo-based visual documentation, in-depth qualitative semi-structured interviews,[ii] the distribution of questionnaires to a non-representative sample of audiences, and the analysis of digital materials (such as forums, social networks, and websites tied to the subculture). The goal here is to present some of the results of this research and, through an analysis of the visual aspects of the straight edge subculture in São Paulo, to shed light on such issues as the boundaries between identities, the sociability of subcultures, the place of straight edge within the city, and the status of its visibility. In this way, I hope to come to an understanding of the place(s) occupied by straight edge values and practices in Brazil more than three decades after their first appearance in the United States.

I’ve Got Straight Edge: Music, Identity, and Sobriety

The conventional narrative holds that straight edge subculture emerged out of the punk scene in Washington, D.C. In the 1980s, elements of this scene began to distance themselves from the punk ethos around them, opposing its nihilism and “live fast, die young” ethos. The significant abuse of drugs and alcohol inside the punk scene and within mainstream youth culture more generally is often identified as one reason for the dissatisfaction of large numbers of teenagers, who looked for ways to “fit in” to a musical underground without adopting the drug and alcohol use of their peers (Wood 100-103).

Minor Threat’s “Straight Edge” is today viewed as a key element in pushing this movement towards the status of a relatively stable subculture. Wood suggests that, even before Ian MacKaye put those feelings into words, discontent with the use of alcohol, tobacco, and drugs could be found within punk culture (Straightedge Youth: Complexity and Contradictions of a Subculture 99). Drawing on an interview with MacKaye (a member of Fugazi as well as the co-founder and owner of Dischord Records), Wood claims that “the very idea of straightedge emerged at least partially in reaction to his [MacKaye’s] perceptions and experiences of drinking and drug use among his high school peers. Furthermore, his earliest elaborations of straightedge were attempts to validate and legitimize the deviant practices (at least among late 1970s culture) of not drinking and using drugs” (101). Built along these lines were Minor Threat and the other straight edge bands who followed similar paths, singing about sobriety, positive choices, commitment (“true ‘til death”), and freedom. During this period, the boundaries of straight edge identity became clearer, crystallized within lists of “do’s and don’ts,” unacceptable behaviors, lines that should not be crossed, and the values necessary to support sober living.

Generally, then, straight edge identity is usually established around principles of sobriety and abstinence, often enforced in militant fashion. These principles often express themselves within seemingly conservative discourses against sexual promiscuity. At the same time, other values are progressive—such as the support of vegetarianism, veganism, and animal rights, and an engagement with social change. Haenfler notes that the straight edge movement emerged “during a time of increasing conservatism and religious fundamentalism, an escalating drug war, and Nancy Reagan’s ‘Just Say No’ campaign” (416). While straight edge was not simply a response to this context, it shaped the movement in a variety of ways (Wood 107).

Wood observes that, at least in the United States, the subculture is predominantly masculine, youthful (with few people over 30 years of age), middle-class, Caucasian, and deeply rooted in urban spaces (6-7). The male domination of straight edge spaces is a recurrent issue, and questions of gender identity and sexual orientation have figured within several studies (see Kuhn; Lahickey; and Haenfler). Haenfler suggests that straight edge men do not necessarily exclude women from the subculture, “but neither do they intentionally include them. The result is ‘female exscription,’” whereby women are simply absent or invisible within straight edge culture (Straight Edge: Clean Living Youth, Hardcore Punk, and Social Change 124)—these dynamics could be observed in São Paulo, too.

Music, nevertheless, is the central point of connection for straight edge subcultures, regardless of their location, since it is around music that the subculture has built itself and come to occupy certain territories within cities (both symbolic and physical). Through music a specific straight edge subculture enters into dialogues with others, whether in the same country or elsewhere in the world:

Gigs enable straightedgers to visit with one another, to form new network ties, to hear straightedge music, to slam dance or mosh, and to purchase merchandise, such as compact discs, records, and T-shirts […]. As well as music gigs and commercially available music recordings, crucial “culture transmitters” such as fanzines/magazines and straightedge Internet Web sites help to unite national and international straightedge culture. (Wood, Straightedge Youth: Complexity and Contradictions of a Subculture 9)

Given the myriad of issues circulating within straight edge culture, the values and choices of its members may not be displayed or understood clearly. One of the main symbols of straight edge is the X, formed by single crossed lines or objects. Straight edgers usually draw the X on the back of their hands with markers or pens before gigs; others tattoo it on their bodies or use it on T-shirts, hoodies, jackets, and other accessories. (Wood 113-114). Wood suggests that the X is used to trace the subculture’s symbolical boundaries: “The X likely is a means by which straightedge youth identify one another as well as how they demarcate themselves from perceived outsiders. Moreover, according to the music, the X is a means of self-identification insofar as it symbolizes one’s commitment and dedication to straightedge philosophy and lifestyles” (Wood 114).

Debates continue over the origins of the X and nature of its connection to the straight edge subculture. MacKaye argues that it first appeared in Washington D.C. in the 1980s as a mark inscribed on the hands of underage people so they would be allowed to enter licensed music venues:

In D.C. there was a law that says no minors were allowed in a bar. […] So we were trying to figure out how we could convince them to let us into these damn gigs since we had the legal basis for it […]. So we went down and met with the club and said, ‘Look, let us in, we will not drink, and we will put these Xs on our hands to clearly demark the people who are under age’. We told them […] We were not involved with getting high; we were just working and creating something. And we felt like music was not something that we should be forbidden to absorb, or to see, or to be around just because of our age. […] They said ‘Let’s give it a shot’. And we lived up to our end of the bargain, which was that none of us drank… That was where the X came from, it was a total pragmatic thing… The X was really not so much to signify straightedge as it was to signify youth.” (Wood 115-116)

With time, the symbol ended up being adopte on a voluntary basis by those who wished to proclaim their abstinence from alcohol, even if they were of an age that made its consumption legal. This practice became popular after the Teen Idles album Minor Disturbance was released in 1980, its cover featuring a “punk with crossed fists, each bearing a large X” (Haenfler 8). Wood sees the X as the preeminent visible marker of straight edge, even if not all straight edgers use it to affirm their lifestyle choices (124-125).

At the same time, the visibility of the X is used to differentiate oneself from mainstream culture and from others within the subculture who have not made the same life choices. From its origins as a marker of toxic substances, the “X” has been re-appropriated and re-signified by straight edgers:

This notion of visible signifying markers used to cast a subculture apart and provide a sense of ontological difference for those within the subculture from the mainstream populace is certainly identifiable in the ironic and historically weighty SxE emblem: XXX. The “X” and more specifically, the triple “X” has certain connections to drug and abuse culture. “XXX” on a jug or bottle indicates poison; on a syringe, blood pollutant; on the eyes, death. SxE culture co-opted and inverted the sign’s referent—poison, in SxE, equals antidote; contaminant = clean living/drug free. (Smith 638)

Some of the roots of the triple X may be found in the Minor Threat’s lyrics “don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t fuck,” or even in relation to the rating of films as pornographic, as Helton and Staudenmeier, Jr. have suggested (455-6).  In Larsen’s account, the X was, in its early stages at least, worn by people without being commercialized:

The X was supremely suited to participatory creation—marked by hand, on the back of each hand, with a few swipes of a heavy duty felt-tip marker. Although “X”-themed merchandise eventually appeared, the original practice was a mark that could not be purchased and did not advertise any specific band. (Larsen 100)

Merchandise is nevertheless an important part of straight edge subculture. The various objects of the scene—which incarnated the values of participation and collectivity and were usually created in  DIY (“Do It Yourself”) fashion by bands and labels—helped transform the meaning of the X, making it an effective carrier of messages across the subculture:

T-shirt, slogans, song lyrics, tattoos, and other symbols constantly reminded sXers of their mission and dedication: “It’s OK Not to Drink,” “True till Death,” and “One Life Drug Free” were among the more popular messages. […] Youth wore Xs on their backpacks, shirts, and necklaces; they tattooed them on their bodies and drew them on their school folders, skateboards, cars, and other possessions. The X united youth around the world, communicating a common set of values and experiences. (Haenfler 415)

This complex cluster of contexts, values and visual tokens spread across the globe in the 1980s, reaching countries as far away as Brazil or the Netherlands (see Hanou and Frijins). Straight edge and its material culture travelled through the informal exchange networks of punk, fostering the emergence of scenes and subcultures throughout the world over a lengthy period of time.

Verdurada: Straight Edge Goes South

Straight edge arrived in Brazil at the beginning of the 1980s. The first representation of the famous X on the back of hands allegedly appeared in São Paulo on the cover of the compilation album Grito Suburbano (“Suburban Scream”), recorded by local bands in 1982. São Paulo is the largest city in Brazil and known for its many scenes, subcultures, and alternative spaces, such as the Galeria do Rock (“Rock Gallery”), which was the site of both convivial and conflictual relationships between young people of all tastes and styles from head bangers to punks. A punk scene emerged in São Paulo in the 1970s as informal, decentralized networks through which records, tapes, fanzines, and bands circulated (Dunn 202-203). While there is disagreement as to where punk first established itself in Brazil (with São Paulo or Brasilia as the main candidates), its importance in the suburbs of São Paulo should not be underestimated. Brazilian punk scenes absorbed local political struggles and were shaped by a context of discontent among teenagers rooted in social marginality, economic vulnerability, and political conflicts with the repressive dictatorship of the period.

Grito Suburbano (1982), the first compilation of Brazilian punk, featured low-quality recordings of bands such as Olho Seco, Cólera, and Inocentes.[iii] The same year saw the organization of the first punk festival in São Paulo, O Começo do Fim do Mundo (“The Beginning of the End of the World”). The behaviour, musical performances, and imagery of the punk scene elicited an intense response from mainstream society; traditional media rushed to portray punks as marginal, bandits, drug addicts, and people with no future (Oliveira 19).

Straight edge emerged as the São Paulo punk scene changed over time, incorporating other genres and subgenres (such as hardcore) and influencing other cultural developments in the city. As Bittencourt claims, and corroborated by my interviews, the consolidation of straight edge really did not occur until the 1990s (37). Indeed, the internet was responsible for much of the global diffusion of the straight edge subculture in the late 1990s (Williams 176). In the beginning, the straight edge subculture of São Paulo was associated with two groups: Juli-Juventude Libertaria (Libertarian Youth) and SELF (Straight Edge Life Family), the latter a dissident group that broke off from Juli (Bittencourt 38). After the krishnacore band Shelter played in São Paulo in 1996 the straight edge subculture expanded (38-39). As A.M. (34-years old) told me in an interview, he was “impressed with the number of strangers who had the X marked on the back of their hands at the Shelter concert.”

The Verdurada festivals began in houses, attended by a few friends, around 1993-94; by 1996, as the straight edge subculture grew, shows were opened up to the public. Since then, the festivals have been organized by a collective of about 13 people who has maintained the Verdurada name.  Verdurada claims to be the largest DIY event in Brazil. This commitment to DIY principles is one of the most important elements of straight edge subculture; it extends beyond the bands, festival, and labels into the personal lives and spaces of the people involved. These principles are visible in the material objects which characterize the subculture (such as t-shirts [Fig. 9] and fanzines). When asked about their relation to DIY, several told me that this subculture taught them to do things by themselves, without waiting for government or private enterprise: “This is something that punk and the hardcore gave me: if you are dissatisfied with the way things are done, do them yourself” (C., 18 years old).

The collective responsible for planning and carrying out the Verdurada festival is made up of people of different ages, genders, and backgrounds. All, however, must identify themselves as straight edgers and vegetarians/vegans to be accepted as members. Individual gigs and the overall festival are planned by the members of the collective, who begin by finding a venue with an available date, then sell tickets, promote the event (online and in the streets), arrange for bands to play, deal with the necessary logistics, buy water and Mupy (soy-based industrialized vegan juice), decide who can table at the event, and transport the necessary equipment to the venue, among many other activities. Because each festival includes a debate, the topic must be decided and the relevant movement/specialist/association invited to discuss it. On the day of the event, someone needs to stay at the door controlling the entrance and ticket reservations, selling more tickets when necessary. Inside the venue, other people are in charge of selling the non-alcoholic beverages and food, helping to control the performance times for the bands and solving any problems that might appear.

For a long time, the Verdurada gigs took place at Galpão Jabaquara (the “Jabaquara Warehouse”), located in the southern region of São Paulo. This “fixed” space within the city became closely associated with the image of the Verdurada and its events, concerns, and people. After the warehouse was closed, the festival had to look for another venue in order to continue its promotion, a difficult task in São Paulo. Because of their commitment to DIY principles, low budgets, high noise levels, accessibility standards, and high attendance, the festival organizers needed very particular kinds of venues. These had to be of significant size, close to public transportation (and preferably in the city centre), but far enough away from residential areas that they would not be subject to complaints about the aggressive noise emanating from venues.

Finding such spaces in the city was a constant challenge. Over the past few years it has become harder for the collective to find a suitable venue in which to host the Verdurada gigs. Organizers have told me during interviews that one of the main reasons for this difficulty is the gentrification process taking place in São Paulo, particularly in its central neighbourhoods. When I began my fieldwork the collective was using the Ego Club, located near Praça Roosevelt (which had undergone a long process of renovation), but that venue eventually closed. Verdurada has turned to other spaces that are smaller, somewhat precarious, and not ideal for hardcore punk gigs: recently they have used the basement of the University of São Paulo Law School. In addition to changes in the urban environment, other factors—such as the levels of commitment and available free time of collective members or the frequency with which people leave or move out of the scene—affect the continuity of the straight edge subculture. One result of these factors is that the frequency of Verdurada festivals has decreased and their occurrence has become unpredictable. Real estate speculation, gentrification, and urban marginalization have become recurrent topics of debate inside the collective and within the Verdurada audience. Their place within the city has become a high-profile concern of the subculture itself.

Looking for the Visual Aspects

A search for the visuality of São Paulo’s hardcore punk scene, and of the straight edge subculture in particular, may lead to several spaces throughout the city or to none. In visual terms, it is not easy to grasp how these forms of cultural expression are rooted in the city, and it is even more of a challenge to see the music—the main feature of the straight edge subculture—clearly materialized and made visible in urban spaces. In his article “Above and Below Ground,” Straw discusses the visibility of Montreal’s Mile End music scene, which was very active in the late 1990s and 2000s. As Straw suggests, journalists who went to Mile End found the visual traces of the scene difficult to capture:

Music consumed in dark rooms, in lofts or bars, is not particularly photogenic. This is particularly the case for music which is not particularly theatrical, and which is often marked by a cultivated casualness. In any case, darkened rooms convey little of the geography of a scene. As a result, most of the images of Mile End which circulate are images from which music is absent. Music was the cultural activity which founded the idea of Mile End as a scene, but the visual signifiers of that scene communicate little of music. (Straw 404)

A similar issue arose while analysing the straight edge subculture of São Paulo: the visual aspects of the subculture can easily go unnoticed around the city, especially when we are not dealing with the music festivals themselves. The visuality of Verdurada can be perceived in two different sorts of contexts. The most obvious of these are those contexts in which gigs take place, in specific places at scheduled times as a result of the labour of several people. The other context is constituted by the subtle visual presence of straight edge in the everyday life of São Paulo—in streets, restaurants, cafés, stores, and other public spaces, as well as the Verdurada posters glued around the city and band stickers on restaurants’ walls. These two contexts overlap in certain ways, but it is important to highlight the different ways in which they elicit attention or go noticed by outsiders.

Straight Edge in the City

As has been noted, São Paulo contains long-established venues connected to specific scenes. Galeria do Rock, for instance, used to be a space for disruptive practices and conflicts between head bangers and punks. Today, it contains a variety of tattoo shops, record stores, clothing stores, hairdressers, and other amenities, serving tastes that range from reggae and hip-hop through hardcore, punk, and gothic, on several floors linked by spiral staircases. However, the space is no longer for youth only: it has become a tourist destination in which it is not unusual to see entire families strolling along its corridors and shopping. On one of the floors there is a small store called Vegan Pride, which sells cruelty-free and straight edge products. It has long been easy to find straight edgers hanging around here, buying food, hygiene products, or t-shirts with messages such as “Straight Edge Brasil” and “Enjoy Straight Edge, You can’t beat the feeling” (a reference to the 1987 Coke slogan, with the same typography).

Walking a few blocks from Galeria do Rock, one comes to Galeria Nova Barão, with its record stores, modest restaurants, shoe stores, and other commercial spaces. Among these, on the second floor, is the punk rock record store The Record (owned by people who have been connected with the hardcore punk scene for years) and the Veggie Life Store, a space dedicated to vegan, DIY, and straight edge products (and owned by people directly connected to the straight edge subculture). These spaces are discreetly located inside the gallery, nestled among traditional stores, but they make visible the signs of straight edge culture, on the covers of records, T-shirts, tote bags, pins, vegan products, and the adorned bodies of the regular visitors themselves.

Not far from there, still in the downtown region, lies one of the most famous places of encounter for straight edgers in São Paulo, the ice cream shop Soroko (at Augusta street) (Souza 23).  Soroko offers vegan ice cream options, as well as açaí (an açaí palm dessert), amidst vintage tables, colourful garbage bins in the form of clowns, and old posters. Anyone passing by can notice, at certain hours of the day, a large number of tattooed people in hardcore or streetwear outfits, but the visual aspects of the place and its visitors are not obviously connected to the subculture.

Going up Augusta street towards Paulista Avenue, one finds another important space of encounter and visibility for straight edgers, the Mate Por Favor. This is a small snack restaurant inside an open-air gallery with a few tables, chairs, and stools, serving vegan, vegetarian, and meat options as well as mate, açaí, and coffee. The name is a reference to the punk book “Please Kill Me”, written by Legs McNeil and Gillian McCain, and to the mate, (the yerba mate tea beverage served there). The owner has been part of the hardcore punk scene for years and allows people to hang posters on the wall for hardcore punk gigs, including those organized by Verdurada. This place is well known among straight edgers; one could always meet them there on Sunday afternoons, to talk or look at the visual materials on the walls, the notices of underground music festivals, and messages with straight edge content written by its regular visitors. If one paid close attention to the young people hanging around, one could observe, in their choices of food and drink, the signs of their veganism or sobriety.

Other restaurants and venues owned by friends (or friends of friends) from the scene or subculture figure within any “mapping” of straight edge visual references across the city. These include the Vegacy restaurant (also on Augusta street, on the Jardins side of Paulista Avenue) and the Prime Dog (Vergueiro street). The latter started as a hot dog and hamburger stand, but it grew as the demand for vegetarian and vegan options increased; it became one of the most famous fast food restaurants serving vegan options in the city, beloved by many of the straight edgers. As is the case with the Mate Por Favor, Prime Dog’s walls are filled with vegan and straight edge messages, band stickers, festival posters and other references to the subculture. On Saturday nights Prime Dog was a good place to meet colleagues from the subculture and engage in casual conversations.

The act of strolling along the sidewalks of the city brings opportunities to encounter the visual aspects of the straight edge subculture, such as the Verdurada posters. In the beginning, the Verdurada collective used to hang or glue the posters on walls and streetlight posts close to the main avenues in order to attract people to their gigs. Bittencourt observes that the style and content of these posters changed over time, as a result of shifting external influences on their underlying aesthetics (156-158). As he suggests, proximity to the anti-globalization movement played a key role in transforming the Verdurada collective and its festivals, shaping the debates (or direct-action workshops) hosted by the festival and the visual materials used in its promotion. Before this engagement with the anti-globalization movement in the early 2000s, the posters used to display images of concerts. This would change radically, as images related to the debates of the day became more common (158) (Figs. 1 and 2). With the advent of the Internet, it has become easier to promote the events online through virtual posters, listservs, and Facebook pages, etc.—and they still glue the posters on walls and street lights across the city.

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Figure 1

Figure 2

Figures 1 and 2. Verdurada poster from June 1998 (left) showing an image related to the debate about gentrification in Sao Paulo. Another from April 2012 (right): the sign held by the octopus reads “Vende-se” (“For sale”), affixed to a historical building.

Even in spaces heavily frequented by straight edgers, it is difficult to “see the music,” to make it visible beyond the posters on the walls, the band T-shirts and stickers, and the tattoos exhibited across bodies. You can go to the same places, be among these people, and not notice their commitments to sobriety or a vegan life choice and to the underground music scenes of the city. The boundaries of the straight edge subculture are rigid, but other elements shaping their identities may be idiosyncratic, hidden, heterogeneous, or subtle. Some members of the culture have told me they do not even have tattoos or do not dress as “hardcore” as the others, but that they have been there actively organizing gigs inside the collective for more than a decade.

Many people who participate in Verdurada, inside or outside the collective, by playing in bands, making fanzines and organizing music festivals, claim to have a “parallel life,”—that is, a job, family situation, or other interests that shape their identities and everyday lives. Within these parallel lives, people devise mechanisms with which to camouflage their status as straight edge. Nonetheless, during the musical performances at Verdurada, their existence changes for a couple of hours, in moments of collective explosion and ecstasy that are almost cathartic (Bittencourt 120), and in which the visual dimensions of the subculture assume high levels of expressiveness.

The Visuality of Verdurada

During the Verdurada festivals, the visuality of the subculture pulses even in the smallest details. As noted earlier, one of the key visual tokens of the straight edge subculture, the mark of differentiated identity, is the X on the back of the hands. Most people draw this before or during the festival, using a pen or a marker. I met a few festival-goers with the X permanently tattooed on their bodies. A significant number of people in the audience mark their hands as a way of proclaiming a commitment to sobriety within their lives and inside that space.

Figure 3. Vocalist of the band “Still X Strong” X-ing up before the presentation and wearing a t-shirt with the phrase “Love hardcore, hate homophobia” under his shirt.

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Figure 4

Figure 5

Figures 4 and 5. Vocalists with the X on their hands during the bands’ performances.

Tattoos with vegan and straight edge meanings, symbols, and messages can also be spotted on the visible/uncovered parts of bodies throughout the festival. Atkinson sees these tattoos as a form of resistance, a controlled and rationalized form of dissent that is also corporeal (215). Bittencourt also observed these gestures in São Paulo’s straight edge subculture, with young people tattooing the X on their hands even though they knew this might limit their chances of getting a job (107). As Hebdige points out, certain forms of body modification, such as face tattoos, allow bearers:

to burn most of your bridges. In the current economic climate, when employers can afford to pick and choose, such gestures are a public disavowal of the will to queue for work, throwing your self away before They do it for you. (Hebdige 32)

While tattoos are becoming more socially acceptable, having some visible parts of the body tattooed, such as the hands, neck, or face, are still taboo in Brazil.

Beyond the corporeal visuality of the subculture, the commercialization of a diverse range of objects is another important practice worth noticing. As noted earlier, people and collectives tabling at the event offered a wide variety of products such as fanzines, clothes, records, and accessories at what they called a “popular price.” Since the application of straight edge symbols, mainly the X, is visible in printed ephemera, clothing, tattooing, band stickers, and cover albums, it is easy to commercialize straight edge products. Among the wares, I saw objects such as a watch with an X, wallet chains with the words “straight edge”, t-shirts with messages (Fig. 6), and fanzines.

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Figure 6

Figure 7

Figures 6 and 7. Tables with books, records, and t-shirts for sale (left). The t-shirts have straight edge phrases such as “Stay positive,” “VGN SXE” (Vegan Straight Edge), “Livre de Drogas” (Drugs Free), and an “X.” The other table exhibits feminist fanzines and the “Fight Club” book (right).

Regardless of the line-up, the season, or even the venue, Verdurada offers people opportunities to buy articles from the bands performing that day, thus helping to “keep the scene alive”: “There are many blogs and sites spreading news about bands and sites from which to download albums. However, the scene does not survive through its visualisation on YouTube, downloads, and Facebook chats, but, rather, by people coming to shows, buying band material and making real friends” (L.A, 21 years old). After attending several Verduradas one can observe the t-shirts of Brazilian or international bands who have already played there worn by the audience or band members. The visual relevance of t-shirts to those seeking to read the subculture is particularly strong, insofar as these are used to clearly state musical preferences, political positions, dietary restrictions, DIY principles, sobriety options (as with the t-shirts in Fig. 6 above and Figs. 8 and 9), and support to lesbian-feminist bands who have never played at a Verdurada (but are part of the broader hardcore punk scene).   

Figure 8. A man in the mosh pit wearing a hoodie with the words “Straight Edge Elite.”

Figure 9. A member from the band Larusso wearing a t-shirt with a “Faça você mesmo” (“do-it-yourself”) message on stage, minutes before the presentation started.

Few bands have openly declared themselves to be straight edge, but several have been formed by people committed to a sober living. One of the main bands associated with Verdurada is the Still X Strong, a self-described “vegan straight edge band.” They keep the X in their name, as well as the reference to the strength of their choice; members of the band always play with the X on the back of their hands. Their first album covers also depicted the X and/or references to their commitment to abstinence (such as Str8 edge and the X; see Figs. 10, 11, 12). The most recent releases from the band are aesthetically different, with no specific graphic symbol related to straight edge—not even the bands’ name, with its “X”—as it can be seen below (Fig. 13). The lyrics of their songs often refer to veganism and straight edge life choices, but the changes on the covers suggest a fractured visual identity, highlighting the fact that straight edge iconography is not always visible or obvious, but sometimes hidden (from the surface at least).

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Figure 10

Figure 11

Figure 12

Figure 13

Figures 10, 11, 12 and 13. Still X Strong album covers, from the left: Demo (2007), Split (2008), Cornerstone (2011), and Girl (2012).

If we focus on spaces themselves, we see how the configuration of certain details offers more elements with which to read the event. None of the Verdurada festivals I followed had a person responsible for security (such as a security guard) at the entrance or inside the venue. During fieldwork I rarely heard stories of fights and violence at Verdurada; the relatively safety of these gigs evidenced, for example, by the kids hanging out in the audience with their tattooed parents, truly absorbed by the aggressive sounds coming from the guitars, basses, and drums on stage. According to A.M, Verdurada is a space suitable for a wide range of audiences, including children, since it is alcohol/drugs free.

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Figure 14

Figure 15

Figures 14 and 15. Children in the audience.

During most of my fieldwork the venue being booked most frequently for Verdurada’s gigs was the Ego Club (Nestor Pestana street). Sometimes, in the entrance, they hang papers with messages of sobriety and respect or inside jokes. The interior has red walls and lights, mirrors, a small stage, and a space usually dedicated to the bar, with fridges promoting beer brands famous in Brazil. During the Verdurada, this space was used to sell water and Mupy, we well as some (unhealthy) vegan food such as hamburgers, coxinhas (a vegan version of a traditional Brazilian snack usually made with chicken), esfihas, kibes, cupcakes, etc (Fig. 16). The list of food options uses “local formulations” (Larsen 101) of the straight edge X, such as the “X” in “coXinha” to allude to straight edge. The menu also lists “Kassab,” referring to São Paulo’s mayor at the time, Gilberto Kassab.

Figure 16. The bar at a Verdurada event, filled with water, Mupy, and vegan food.

Figure 17. Burgers displayed at the bar, with an unused beer fridge in the back.

The space offers a small stage for the bands, minimizing or collapsing the distance between performers and audience. In front of the stage there is the mosh pit, with its fast and sometimes aggressive dancing during performances. The mosh pit occupies a significant (ephemeral) space and it is more common to see men dancing than women. Behind and beside the mosh pit are spots for those who are not participating in the dancing, stage diving, or head walking.

Figure 18. One of the few women I spotted in the mosh pit.

When a debate takes place between performances, everyone interested in participating sits down (sometimes in circles) to watch, listen, and ask questions. The quick shifts between energetic dancing and the quiet, seated listening that characterizes the debate are impressive. While the entire audience is not always interested in discussion, the floor is always full of people.

Figure 19. Audience during the debate.

After the last band, a vegan dinner is served to the audience (it is included in the price of the ticket); the night ends with the possibility of sociability among those in the line for food that gradually forms outside of the venue. Each person who wants to be part of the dinner can get in line and receive a disposable plate, usually filled with rice and vegetables. Since it is outside, in front of the venue, the dining is not necessarily comfortable (one has to eat leaning on walls or sitting on the sidewalks), but several people see in this moment an opportunity for socializing and talking with their friends before heading somewhere else or going back home.

Final remarks

To the surprise of many people the straight edge subculture is still active in Brazil, after more than 20 years of uninterrupted existence. The subculture has organized the Verdurada festivals since 1996 and, despite many changes (in the city, as well as inside the subculture), the core values and principles of straight edge identity continue to revolve around a commitment to sobriety and abstinence. The importance of this subculture resides, in part, in its stability, its connections to the hardcore punk scene, its promotion of debate and engagement with political issues, and its DIY musical production. An ongoing question is how much the constitution of the identity boundaries for straight edge are obvious from the outside, particularly since they are difficult to read even for people inside the subculture—the choice of sobriety is not always obvious and visible. The making of identity boundaries is a many-sided process, replete with conflicts over how to be seen (and recognized) as straight edge by one’s peers. Some visual elements, such as the Xs marked on the back of the hands, are ephemeral, transitory, and appear mostly during the festivals, connected deeply to the subculture’s musical expressivity. Other visual elements, such as tattoos, serve as more permanent statements. All of the objects in orbit around straight edge identity (t-shirts, zines, records, accessories) play an important role for those willing to show, to outsiders and other straight edgers alike, the commitment they have made to sober living. As a result of this complexity, and through the importance of its visual elements, this subculture and its members invite reflection on the relations between visuality (in its ephemeral and permanent forms) and materiality. This visuality forms part of the experiences and practices that shape the identitarian boundaries of straight edge. The traces of the subculture within the city may be ephemeral (as is the case for posters and transitory venues) or invisible (insofar as some stores and restaurants cater to all kinds of audiences).  In this respect, the visuality and materiality of the straight edge subculture invite a reading of the world that extends beyond its fixed and permanent elements. Indeed, the visibility of scenes may be ephemeral, subtle, and fluid, shaped by the scenes’ appropriation of the surrounding city and its objects and by the vantage point from which they are seen. 

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Image notes

Figures 1 and 2. Source: Verdurada’s Flickr account.

Figures 3 to 9 and 14 to 19. Author’s personal archive.

Figures 10 to 13. Still X Strong, Bandcamp page (https://stillxstrong.bandcamp.com/)

Acknowledgements

This research was supported by Fundação Carlos Chagas Filho de Amparo à Pesquisa do Estado do Rio de Janeiro (FAPERJ).

Notes

[i] The song “Straight Edge” is a track from Minor Threat’s 7″ EP (1981), later reissued as part of the collection Minor Threat (1984) and also the Complete Discography (1989).

[ii] The in-depth interviews were conducted in São Paulo and by Skype/Telephone along my fieldwork. I prefer to use their initials and the ages shown here represent the alleged age at the time of the interview.

[iii] See: <http://super.abril.com.br/cultura/funk-garotos-do-suburbio&gt;, accessed on 11 January 2016.

This article is licensed under a  Creative Commons 3.0 License although certain works referenced herein may be separately licensed, or the author has exercised their right to fair dealing under the Canadian Copyright Act.

Around the X  7-2 | Table of Contents | DOI 10.17742/IMAGE.VOS.7-2.6 | ReiaPDF Coming Soon! Abstract | When Minor Threat sang “I’ve got straight edge” back in the 1980s they could not imagine the proportions the straight edge message would achieve in a few years.