#how is quite literally perfe

[nex-has-gender-envy]

So like did somebody order Miragex Noah symbiote au (transformers symbiotes au )

Mirages ego's so big that he's the only symbiote that can project hallucinations of his full form to it's host. That results into Noah interacting with nothing, not just talking to himself like Eddie Brock.

[distantdarlings]

HAVE ME // t. nott

RATING: R / 4.8K WORDS

Theodore Nott x Fem Reader Insert

+ SUMMARY - *Requested, based on this* When you are paired with Cormac McClaggen for a mid-semester project, he takes it as an opportunity to shoot his shot. However, despite your numerous rejections, he doesn't seem to want to let up. That is until Theo gets involved.

+ WARNINGS - SMUT, depictions of violence (a small fight, specifically), blood described very briefly, Cormac is hitting on reader and won't leave them alone, language, oral sex (perf. on reader), kissing, dom!Theo, fem reader, not proof-read

+ MUSIC (listened to while writing) -

Hotel - Montell Fish

---

The chatter around the classroom slowly dwindled as Professor Snape silently slipped through the door of his office. Everyone was waiting patiently for the results of his decision from yesterday. He mentioned that the mid-semester project would be partnered rather than solo. To you, that was bad news, but to others in the class, it was good. You worked best when you didn’t have to sort out the ideas getting bounced around aloud. But if you had to work with a partner, please let it be someone halfway decent.

“So,” Snape starts, “I have here the list of partners for the mid-semester project. As a reminder, you will be handling very toxic materials, so for the sake of all of our time, be careful with them.” His expression hinted at boredom, despite the unfortunate things he was referencing. Last year, someone nearly lost a hand with this project, and—to be quite honest—that was one of the reasons you were so excited about it. You liked the challenge and, even better, overcoming it. But you couldn’t do that with a shitty partner. Your fingers crossed beneath your open notebook.

“Malfoy with Weasley, Berkshire with Granger,” he began listing the names. Your hips shifted uncomfortably. He was pairing everyone with the opposite house. Surely he’d grant you some mercy with how well you’d been doing in this class?

“—Nott with Finnigan—” Your thoughts were briefly interrupted as Theodore’s name was called. That was an interesting pairing; however, you knew that Potions was one of Theo’s strong suits, and, granted they worked well together, the both of them would successfully keep their eyebrows intact. 

Your eyes found the older boy, tracing over every line on his face. You were friends, pretty good friends. His whole group of Slytherins were friendly with you, really. But there was something about him that had shocked you to your core from the first night you’d met him and started chatting at the Sorting ceremony when the both of you were eleven. He was quite literally one of the most attractive people you’d ever seen, and it seemed like he knew it too. The way he held himself down to the way he communicated with people, he just knew he was alarmingly alluring. 

He had a way of staring right into your eyes when you spoke to him, almost to the point it felt as if he was reading your mind. No matter what, he’d give you his full attention, even more so than his other friends, it seemed. Maybe you had always imagined it, but if you called his name, he was there. He would be waiting with his ear next to your lips, eager to hear what you had to say, no matter how you were feeling. Perhaps it was cliche, but you felt as though you could tell him anything, and you did. 

His eyes found yours suddenly. His lips parted into a crooked smile, his dazzling white teeth peeking through slightly. You returned the action, raising your eyebrows in an amused fashion at his partner for the project. He shrugged, the smile never leaving his face. He pointed at you and mouthed, ‘You’re coming up.’ You rolled your eyes and laughed silently as you brushed him off. You were laughing, but, in all seriousness, this wasn’t a comedic matter. Your Potions grade was potentially on the chopping block here, and you were getting nervous. Snape didn’t grade depending on who did what; he simply graded on the project's legitimacy. You could do this by yourself, but if whomever your partner ended up being fucks it up, you both were screwed. And, on top of it all, you would have to work with a Gryffindor, someone you likely barely knew. Perfect. 

Your name perked your ears as Snape paused for a moment, trying to decipher his own handwriting. Merlin, was he trying to tease you? You glanced around, wondering who hadn’t been selected yet. You hadn’t been paying attention. “Ah! With McClaggen.”

Your heart sank. You turned to glance over your shoulder at the showy Gryffindor sitting in the back corner of the classroom. He sent a wink and a small smirk your way, to which you replied by quickly turning back around. Did the universe hate you? It must. That was the only answer. Shit.

“Get to work,” he instructed, returning to his office and firmly shutting the door behind him. You weighed out the options in your head on how angry Snape would be if you asked to switch partners. You were sure he picked them for a reason…or maybe he didn’t? Merlin, help. Should you even bother with this? Maybe you could convince McClaggen to let you do all the work. He could sit patiently by and be quiet.

The classroom bustled gently as students were standing and finding their partners. Small groans echoed as everyone paired up. Apparently, you weren’t the only one that disliked your partner. Usually, you wouldn’t have expected Professor Snape to have paired Gryffindors with Slytherins. Who knew? Maybe he was trying something new.

You hid a wince and got to your feet. You collected your notebook and school bag and made your way over to the smirking boy. His hands were placed cockily behind his head, and one leg rested, crossed over the other. He maximalized every bit of space he took up, like a peacock. You repressed a groan and sat down in the seat next to him, neatly spreading your things out. 

“Well, hello,” he cooed. “I don’t think I’ve spoken with you before.”

“I don’t think so either,” you chuckled nervously, eyes finding the back of Theo’s head. He sat towards the front of the classroom, partnered with the clumsy Gryffindor. You wondered if he was having the same doubts you were. As if on beat, his head turned and made eye contact with you. He hid a smile at your current predicament and gave you a small wave with his fingers. You rolled your eyes and, with the hand farthest from McClaggen, pretended to choke yourself with it. Theo laughed aloud before turning back around when his partner tapped his shoulder.

“What’s so funny?” your partner asked, quirking an eyebrow. 

“Nothing,” you smiled, “how about we get started?”

Most of the class period was spent discussing the potion the two of you wanted to brew. The assignment was to pick one of the most difficult potions to brew and to make and document the experience successfully. All of the potions you were to choose from were in the very last chapter of your textbook, and the two of you flipped through the pages, unsure. 

Every so often, Cormac (you’d learned his first name was) would point at something on one of the pages and scoot ever so closer to you. He was so close now you could smell the peppermint candy he swished around his mouth. His arm rested alongside the back of your chair, and you were…immensely uncomfortable. Your back straightened so as not to come into contact with his arm. 

Throughout this whole experience, you’d glance Theo looking back at the two of you every so often and wonder if you could signal him to distract the boy. It wasn’t that you felt threatened; you just wish he’d back the hell up. If you had a personal bubble, it had long since combusted. His face was so close to yours, and no matter how far you leaned away, he’d get closer. Finally, you’d had enough.

“Cormac,” you laughed nervously. You placed one hand on his chest and slowly pushed him back toward his own seat. 

“What is it?” he asked. No matter what you did, that stupid smirk never failed.

“You are very close to me,” you explained, trying to remain as polite as possible. He shrugged and chuckled a bit, gaining on some of the space you’d placed between the two of you. 

“Well, that’s because I want to get closer to you,” he said. 

“Uh, no,” you tittered, “that’s okay. Let’s just do the project.” You tapped the textbook and pretended to immerse yourself back in the information, hoping he’d let it lie. He didn’t. His arm wrapped back around your chair, and your eyes slipped close in exasperation. 

“Cormac, please—”

“What? Don’t you want to get to know each other before we do a project together?” he asked, scooting closer yet again.

“No, I really don’t. I just want to get this done.” His face resumed its previous proximity to yours. He smirked at the closeness and you sighed, turning your face away from his, begging Theo to glance back again.

“Oh, I see…is he your boyfriend?” Cormac asked. Your face shot back to his.

“What? No! He’s just a friend,” you said.

“That was a very quick, rushed answer,” he laughed, “but if you say so, that’s even better for me—”

“Please, let’s just do the assignment,” you pleaded, “I’m really not interested.”

“Not even for a trip to Hogsmeade?”

“No, not really, you’re not my type.” You glanced back at Theo. He was finally looking back. Only this time, his eyes were locked on the boy beside you, with his face so close to yours. His eyes gleamed blood red, and his jaw clenched tightly. Your eyebrows furrowed, begging him to intervene somehow. If Cormac wasn’t too embarrassed to shoot his shot in the middle of class, surrounded by his peers, you were almost positive he’d continue to harass you outside of the classroom. Maybe even when the two of you were alone, and he might not let up at that point.

“What is your type?” he asked. “Brooding assholes in Slytherin?” He said this part a bit louder, making direct eye contact with Theo. You could feel the tension building slightly, and did your best to diffuse the situation. You partially blocked their gaze of each other.

“Please don’t say that about him.”

“I thought you said he wasn’t your boyfriend. Why are you defending him?”

“He’s not my boyfriend, but he is my friend, and I’d like you not to call him names,” you spoke sternly, eyes hardening on the boy. He was plucking the last strings of your patience. 

“Fine, I will—” you nodded at his promise “—if you let me take you to dinner.”

The bell signalling the end of class interrupted the conversation. Thank Merlin. You quickly gathered your things together and shoved them into your bag, praying he’d just drop the subject and let you move on with your day. You’d figure out a way to deal with him later. For right now, you just wanted to get your free period started as soon as possible. He stood right when you did. You ignored him and made for the exit, walking as quickly as looked natural.

You were the first out of the classroom and down the hall, trying your best to get away from him without completely abandoning Theo. A hand grabbed your shoulder, stopping you in your tracks. It roughly spun you around, yanking a yelp from your throat. You stood before Cormac, who had a sinister look on his face. 

“You never answered me,” he said. “Let me take you to dinner…”

“No, Cormac, I don’t want to go,” you said, attempting to wrestle yourself out of his iron grip. What about your thousand answers was he not grasping? 

“Let go of me.” His hand did not release you, and it did not seem like he intended to, either. You slipped your hand between his and your shoulder, trying to edge it off. He made a sound of endearment before attempting to slide a hand around your hips. You squealed and squirmed away from him, trying to prevent him from wrapping his arms farther around you.

“Hey!” A voice shouted. The both of you began to turn, but before Cormac could get his head fully pivoted, a hand appeared on his shoulder and yanked him away from you. It was Theo, and he appeared to be fuming. His jaw was tightly clenched, and his eyes were wild.

“The fuck do you think you’re doing, McClaggen?” he demanded. “She said no, you dick!”

“I don’t see how it’s any of your business. She said you weren’t her boyfriend,” the younger laughed meanly, poking him roughly in the chest. You winced at the contact. 

“Don’t fucking touch me,” he hissed, pushing the boy back from him. Cormac stumbled a few steps before regaining his footing. It appeared he was as surprised as everyone else was at the sudden hostility. Cormac laughed cockily. 

He raised a hand and swung his fist at Theo as hard as he could, getting a good hit in. Theo’s head jerked to the side from the force of the punch, and you gasped sharply, hands shooting to cover your mouth in shock. Natural instincts told you to jump back, but you rushed toward Theo, who pushed you back gently behind him, squeezing your arm firmly. It didn’t hurt, but you knew it meant to stay put. 

“Come on, Slytherin!” Cormac shouted. “Show me what your reject house is made of!”

A crowd of other students had begun to gather around the two boys, curious to see what all of the commotion was. Adrenaline pumped through your veins like ice water as you watched Theo approach the other boy, cocking his arms and wringing any stiffness out of them. 

Before you could feel the exhalation of breath leave your body, Theo swung his arm at the boy, cracking him hard across the jaw. As if in slow motion, Cormac fell back and hit the ground with a hard thud. You imagined his tailbone would be quite bruised tomorrow morning. 

Theo fell down on top of the boy, legs resting on either side of his hips, and wailed on him. Fist after fist hit the boy’s face, pushing more and more blood out of him. You screamed in shock as you realized Theo had no intention of stopping. Around the same time you did, everyone else did too. They began throwing shouts of concern and pressing in on the two boys. Everybody loved a good fight now and then but nobody wanted to see someone get killed. 

Yet, nobody put their hands on Theo for fear of being in the same predicament as Cormac currently was. That was, until Enzo and Mattheo ran up behind the crowd. You heard them ask if that was Theo.

“Enzo!” you shouted his name, waving over the crowd. His eyes quickly found yours and in seeing the distress on your face, began weaving through the crowd. Mattheo quickly followed suit. 

When they breached the barrier of the crowd, their eyes widened, and they made for their friend. They grabbed his shoulders and pulled him away from the poor boy, his face a mangled mess. You looked away quickly, not wanting to see the damage that had been done in your favor.

Once pulled away, a gathering of students ran over to Cormac and covered him with a wall of their protection, trying to see if they could help him somehow. You turned to Theo, who was breathing heavily, a single dripping of blood pouring from his nose. You turned to the bottom of your uniform shirt, found the edge of the seam, and tore a small section of it. You could get a replacement sometime later.

You approached the boy with a murderous gaze and gently pressed the piece of shirt beneath his nose. He flinched slightly but never looked away from Cormac. Maybe that hadn’t been for you, and he’d just wanted to beat Cormac’s ass—which is understandable, but still. You weren’t totally sure why he did it.

“Theo?” you spoke gently. His glare didn’t waver. The fingers pressing the material against his bloodied nose tilted his face carefully to look at you. His eyes found yours, softening slightly. 

“I’m sorry,” he breathed, his chest heaving. “I couldn’t stand him touching you like that.”

“It’s okay,” you reassured. He didn’t seem convinced. How he looked at you with such concern and worry made you wonder if he thought you were mad at him. You shook your head at the question running through your mind. Obviously, he didn’t know what you had been thinking, but you hoped he’d understand somehow. 

You helped Enzo and Mattheo pull him to his feet and escort him away from the crowd before any of the professors showed up. Speaking of which, they likely should have been out here by now. 

As you helped the boys guide Theo toward the Slytherin common room, you were careful to avoid any obvious eyes that raced past them to see what the aftermath of the commotion was. Hopefully, nobody would notice them and they could deal with the whole situation later. The group turned the corner and stopped before the entrance to the dorm room. Enzo announced the password, and the lot of you headed inside, pulling Theo up the stairs and into the boys’ dorm room. He pulled away from them suddenly and sat on his bed.

“Alright, alright, I’m okay!” he declared. “I just got a sock to the jaw; my legs weren’t broken.”

“They’re just trying to help, Teddy,” you whispered, trying to place the cloth back on his nose that had started up its intermittent spurting again. He sighed and gently grabbed your wrist, holding it away from his face. He was never rough with you, despite how angry he was.

“I’m fine, I’m just wound up, I don’t need any of you to—”

“Nonsense,” you interrupted him. “Mattheo, Enzo, would the two of you mind running down to the hospital wing and asking Madam Pomfrey if she has anything to stop the bleeding. It’s not excessive, but it’s messy.”

“Is there not a spell or something like that?” Mattheo asked, clearly concerned for his friend.

“Not one that I know off the top of my head. Would you just go ask her, please?” you repeated yourself. The two boys seemed to hesitate but eventually worked their way out of the room with their destination in mind. Once they were gone, your eyes turned back to Theo’s. An amused glint lay suspended in his eyes.

“‘Nothing that comes to mind?’” he smirks. “If a spell comes to my mind and not yours, the world must be upside down.” You conceal a laugh. You knew a spell. You knew multiple healing spells, but you wanted Mattheo and Enzo out of the room for a second. You just wanted to speak with Theo about what had happened. 

“I’m sorry I lied to your friends,” you said. “But I really wanted to talk with you privately, and I didn’t want to wait.” His eyes keep a tight hold on yours. You swallow thickly. 

“Okay, what is it?” he asks, his voice barely above a whisper. 

Anxiety pools in your stomach as you realize you hadn’t really planned anything to say. You wanted to know why Theo had done what he did and if it was for or because of you. Cormac had been bothering you, yes, but it could have just been that Theo really disliked him and wanted to intervene. 

“Why did you do that?” you ask. Probably the worst way you could have asked that, but it was what came out. You might as well own it at this point. 

“Do what?” he mused.

“Why did you stop Cormac?”

“That feels like a dumb question. He was laying his hands on you without your permission.”

“Would you have done that for anyone, though?” you stuttered through your interrogation.

“I suppose not….why do you ask?” he asked, the smirk never leaving his face. Your eyes fell down to his lips suddenly, noticing that there was a small amount of dried blood stained across them. A small gasp left your lips as you reached your hand out. You didn’t think through any of the following movements; you just allowed your body to do as it pleased. Your fingers gently cradled his jaw, and your thumb swiped slowly over his lips, collecting the bit of staining as it crossed. Your eyes found him again, and you realized he was intently watching you. His eyes were softened by hunger. The way they traveled down to your lips, his lips parting as he found yours, his hands clenching by his side. It sent a chill down your spine. 

“Theo,” you breathed. You could not pull your eyes away from his swollen lips. You wanted so badly to learn their taste and memorize it for eternity. Just one kiss and you could be satisfied for the rest of your days. 

“I kicked Cormac’s ass because he was laying his hands on you, and I have been desperate to do that for years…,” he whispered. “The difference between him and I, though? I ask permission.” A glimpse of a chuckle spreads over his lips, and you feel your stomach blush with heat. As if he could feel it happen to you, his nose bumped softly against yours, igniting the heat and transforming it into a flame. 

“I want you so bad,” he whispered, the air skimming your lips. “Please let me have you.”

“Have me, Teddy.” Your response was final. His hands gripped each side of your face firmly and pressed your lips together. Heat and light and everything in between exploded into your stomach, sending shocks of love into your heart. You could have melted on the spot, and you nearly did, if it weren’t for Theo wrapping one arm tightly around your waist and holding you up.

His tongue slid over your bottom lip, begging for entrance. You granted him access to every part of you with no push-back. All you wanted was to feel him everywhere and never to lose that feeling ever again. 

The both of his hands pushed around the back of your thighs and pulled them to either side of his bent knees. He settled you neatly onto his lap, you straddling his thighs against the bed. The action sent a lightning bolt of pleasure directly to your core as the space between his thighs urged gently against you. You sighed against his mouth, entangling your fingers into his hair. 

Everything about him was overwhelming. His smell, his taste, and his touch had you gasping for air. You had never realized how much you truly wanted him until this very moment. Without so much as a breath, he cradled your back with one hand and stood from his bed, lifting the two of you into the air. You squeaked from the sudden movement but relaxed instantly when he settled you against his bed. 

His lips detached from yours and quickly made alliance with your jaw and then your neck. His head worked down the frame of your body, pressing open-mouthed kisses to every sliver of skin he could find. When he reached the waistline of your uniform skirt, he tapped his finger twice against the spot where your shirt was tucked in. You nodded so quickly, it was almost pathetic. He smirked and slipped his hands between the materials. He tugged your shirt out and began laying the same types of kisses over your bare stomach. You groaned at the feeling, noticing the ardor he placed into each press of his lips. You felt worshipped and it was addicting.

His eyes flicked up to find yours as he slowly pushed himself farther down, placing himself just in front of your core. Without question, your legs began to spread for him, allowing him access to anything he wanted. You just needed to feel him; you didn’t care what he did. 

Your eyes found his face once more and scanned over the entirety of it. A deep, sinister glance rested in his eyes, holstering a lust so dark, it almost frightened you. His lips were slightly parted in a teasing, smirking way, just waiting to place themselves against you once more. And his nose had…oh, it had begun to bleed again. You reached down and swiped your thumb beneath it, pushing the excess discharge away. A small twinge of guilt hit you again at the thought of Theo getting himself hurt for you.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, frowning at the sight before you.

“You never have to apologize to me,” he breathed, “you are perfect.” And with that, he’d flipped the edge of your skirt over your legs and sunk his face between them. His tongue found your core before you could even get a word out. A breathless moan spilled from your lips as your spine arched off the bed. Your hands immediately pushed down to wrap themselves in his curls, savoring every single swipe of his tongue. 

“So fucking good,” he moaned against you, the vibrations sending messages up to your very brain. You quaked beneath the feeling, your thighs shaking against the boy’s hold on them. It was nearly becoming too much. You weren’t going to last much longer. If he wanted to do something, he’d better get to it.

“Theo, I’m…c—”

“Not yet, baby,” he whispered, pressing two chaste kisses to the inside of your thighs. You could feel the wetness spread across his lips and chin smear against your flesh. You shuddered at the sensation. It definitely should not have turned you on as much as it just did. “I want it on my tongue.”

He separates himself from you and slides his hands beneath the crook of your knees. With a firm grip, he yanks you to the edge of the bed, where your hips are lying just over the curve. His hands find your hips and flip you over onto your stomach, careful to avoid hurting you in any way. Ever so gentle.

You could hear him kneel down again behind you. Your thighs shook in anticipation just before he pressed his lips back to you. His tongue swirled across you in the most delicate of motions, drawing every sound possible from your lips. Your fingers gripped the sheets as each of his movements drew you closer to the edge. You might finish any second. 

“Hey-o!” Mattheo’s voice came from just outside the door. You jumped up and glanced back at Theo as the both of you separated as fast as possible. Theo came up to sit beside you on the bed and made quick work of wiping his mouth off on his sleeve. You pulled your skirt back over your legs and stood at attention, waiting for the two boys to enter. Damn it. You had been so close. 

The two boys walked in, clutching a small vial of liquid. Mattheo raised it to show the two of them, both of whom quickly nodded, smiling innocently. Surely, they wouldn’t suspect anything of the two of you. You’d never really expressed any feelings toward the other before now. At least not publicly.

“Where do you want this?” Mattheo asked.

“If you would just take it to the bathroom, we’re headed in there so they can help me clean up the rest of the way.” Both of the other boys nodded and headed back out the way they came, moving toward the group bathroom. 

Just as they left, Theo slipped his hand beneath your skirt and traced his fingers along you, allowing one to insert itself to its hilt. You gasped sharply, trying your best to mute the sound. His hand began to pump against you, slowly rising in speed as he hit that perfect spot each time with ease. The sounds spilling from your lips became less and less controlled as he pushed you towards the edge, keeping you standing tall and refusing to let you lay back down on the bed.

“Come like this, baby,” he whispered. “Quickly, before they get back.” His finger pressed deeply up into you one last time, bruising the soft spot and forcing a rushing finish down on you. Your lips parted in a shocked moan as the proof of your end slipped down around Theo’s fingers. He worked you through the entirety of it, never tiring and never halting. He could do this all day. 

The sound of his friends heading back toward the dorm room pushed the two of you apart once again. Only this time, Theo had a telling, lustful expression imprinted on his face, and the remains of your ecstasy were still painted across his fingers. You swiped a hand between your thighs in an attempt to clean yourself off and brushed any concerns from Mattheo or Enzo off. The ‘Are you okay?’ and the ‘You guys look weird’ had nothing on the steel resolve the both of you kept planted on your faces. If Theo could fight someone for you, you could fight the urge to tell his friends he’d just let you fuck his face while they were out running an errand. Oh well, such is life. You laughed to yourself. 

[shellxrls]

OKAY OKAY SO SO SO!! I’m really exited rn cause I always get excited when I shift to smth for the first time but. okay. omg. right.

this man’s dick is fashioned by the highest of gods I swearrr!!!

it’s heavy. his whole package his heavy like it’s genuinely surprisingly big. I had to take a walk I swear.

it’s like 7.5 inches maybe 7.6 and it’s thick!!! He just has an insanely large dick and huge balls as well like this man is packin!!!!

quite dark in colour and he’s uncut but he keeps it clean!! he’s very serious about his personal hygiene cause he’s jst sensible like that. he literally told me off for taking too long to pee after sex and it had only been like thirty seconds let a girl live here.

dark mauve tip <33 so pretty actually the prettiest ever like omg. He will be leaking pre the moment anything starts up.

also his cum is ridiculously salty, but still tastes good cause it’s his like mmh.

he also has huge balls and like seriously he had to spend agesss stretching me out with his fingers before he could even get the tip in cause he’s jst so ughh. Perf, he’s also a bit of a safety freak. so we prob could have gone quicker but he would’ve had an aneurysm.

sits so heavy like I cannot exaggerate this enough. you can literally see the bulge though whatever pants he’s wearing, even when he’s completely soft.

like ugh. i cannot stop thinking about it. need to go back rn rn !!

crying tears from my eyes and my *****. i love big dicks sorry i like the pain and the stretch its soo .

a dick like that just makes sense for john b it’s giving me heart eyes <333.

he’s so paternal i love him so much that’s daddy frl.

UGHABDVRIC the fact that it’s big enough to see in shorts i can’t even compute i’d spend all my time just staring at it or sitting on it idk how you survived it girl.

sorry this is such a short response for such a detailed paragraph but i’m genuinely in so much awe. i NEED him so bad what the FUCK.

[izzyspussy]

Hey. So. I just had a thought. Totally out of the blue. What about OFMD characters as Tarot cards, huh? Whadaya think? Totally unprompted thought.

Wow, what a strange and interesting thought to have without any kind of cue at all... 🤔

Okay disclaimer. This isn't going to have everyone or tbh even most of 'em, because this post is fully brought to you by how no character has more perfectly exemplified The Hermit to me before and not much else.

Stede + The Fool

I think Stede and Ed both fit this very well (among other characters). I had a plan a while back to draw a card where Stede was The Fool upright and Ed was The Fool Reversed except instead of The Fool and The Fool Reversed it was Fuck Around and Find Out, but then I couldn't find reference pics I liked and I actually can't draw. So. But anyway. I don't feel like I need to defend this pick? Stede is at the beginning of the journey of his life and he's got a youthful energy because of that, but he's ill prepared and needs guidance!

Ed + The Devil

Fave card alert. Ed has a pretty clear "dark side" that he believes he can keep separate from his "good side" - which of course is not possible, they coexist. This dark side consists of his temper, his traumatic past, his self loathing, etc, all things brought up in The Devil. He also tries to satisfy these darker things with instant gratification type shit - drugs, sex(? metaphorical? who can say what he's been doing to Izzy or not askfjsk, but at least it was literal with Jack anyway), physical destruction, sadism, etc. He also has himself convinced he has no control or choice over his actions, that he's just evil or whatever, which this card addresses. The Devil can also represent a powerful and passionate relationship - or a codependent one, like Ed and Izzy's. And of course he also does literally just call himself the Devil straight-up. Who am I to argue.

Zheng + The Empress

I mean she has an Empire, so. A bit on the nose, but you can't beat 1:1 accuracy lmao. She also has her balancing act between tenderness and authoritarianism. She's nurturing (so far, but considering her ship is called the Red Flag I doubt that's gonna last or will be proven disingenuous soon, but anyway...) but it can't be questioned that she is the Ruler of Rulers.

Oluwande + Strength

Patience! Gentleness not from the lack of violence but despite the abundance of it! Commitment! Steadfastness! Emotional endurance! Yeah!

Ben + The Hermit

My longest yeah boi ever. A man at a remote location in nature that may or may not materially exist, there to guide a lone, lost visitor to understanding of himself in absolute spiritual solitude. I mean, there have been purgatories just like this one in fiction before, but none of them quite struck The Hermit so hard on the nail for me as Ben did.

Izzy + The Hanged Man

*ominous - and disconcertingly horny - chanting* Whipping Boy! Whipping Boy! Whipping Boy! Not just that, though, of course. As a character Izzy also represents the need to put things on pause and think them the fuck through before you do some stupidass shit. He wanted a plan, and when he didn't get one he put a screeching fucking halt to god damn everything. And then he didn't fully think through his own actions either and got fucking murdered about it lol. He also, narratively, represents a differing perspective (at least in season one) from the accepted standard, that without considering - as many """fans""" have proven lmfao - you cannot fully understand the story. Izzy is also the number one guy who would need to take The Hanged Man's advice. Give up, bud!!! It's over!!! Stop torturing yourself!!! (Don't actually though, babygirl you look so good 🫦)

Black Pete + Knight of Cups

He's so romantic... *dreamy sigh* When he's at his best, he's compassionate, understanding, emotionally available and expressive, and has such an innocent natural charm. At his less best, he's constantly talking talk he actually can't or won't back up with action. "I'm a perfect shot," he says, and then balks at being asked to shoot something mere hours later. He has an idealized, unrealistic view of himself.

Jim + Page of Wands

Like The Fool, the Page of Wands is at the beginning of their journey, but they are still deliberating about where exactly it is they want to go. Jim in particular has two clear paths they can take in becoming the person they'll be. They can take the path of revenge and ruthlessness laid out for them by Nana and Blackbeard, or they can take the path of redemption and compassion they're being invited to by Oluwande and Stede. And the only way to figure out which way to go is to look internally and discover what they truly want, and choose the path that will give them that.

Frenchie + Page of Swords

Frenchie is full of ideas and enthusiasm! But he's also very adaptable, and though he's got that youthful energy he is not necessarily lacking in awareness or experience. He's a Jack of all trades like The Magician, but without the social separation or ambition. Reversed, Page of Swords can represent repression and lack of communication, which Frenchie "Invented Compartmentalization" is clearly familiar with. It can also be about promises you can't - or have no intention to - keep, like Frenchie's murderboat First Mate duties.

We don't really need to address how BlackBonnet are The Lovers, I think. And I've already seen more than one fanart of BlackHands as Three of Swords, so I'll just mark that correct shall I? ✔️ Keep 'em coming baby.

Thank you so much for indulging me, Andie!! IDK if you're even in this fandom at all or not alsfjks, but I hope you like these answers anyway.

[moonstone01]

Close

Stranger Things 

Eddie Munson x Female Reader

Word Count: 3.0K

Warnings: Weed, Kissing, Eventual Smut (in part 2 of course) 

A/N: Yeah, I am obsessed with Eddie Munson. This is gonna have a part 2 cause I literally wrote this in 3 hours. 

What time is it?

You look over to your clock on the nightstand. 

“Shit…” you grumble to yourself as you realize not only is it 7:30 in the morning, but it is 7:30 in the morning on a Monday morning. You were supposed to be up an hour ago to get ready for school. To be fair, you had a long night Sunday night. A long night meaning you smoked too much and forgot about your responsibilities. So, as the responsible senior you are, you roll out of bed and try to rush through your morning routine. You decided to keep it simple today as there wasn’t anyone in particular to impress. 

At least not yet. 

You make your way out of the house after your disapproving stares from your parents. 

“Good morning, y/n” your dad says sarcastically on your way out. You flash a smile and close the door behind you. You step out into the cold air, it was almost the end of October, and Halloween was a week away. You loved the fall. The cool air, fall leaves on the ground, the refreshing feeling of nostalgia it all brought, especially Halloween. You were supposed to be attending a Halloween party this upcoming weekend, some popular kid invited you, and who are you to say no when you are provided with free drinks?

You get into your car, blasting your music as soon as the car starts up, and pull out of your driveway. 

                                              ◆:*:◇:*:◆:*:◇:*:◆

When you arrive at school and park your car. You grab your shit and head into the school, but you bump into a familiar face. Dustin Henderson. 

“Y/n! Just the woman I’ve been looking for” he smiles at you, walking in step with you as you both head for the main doors of the school.

“Yes, Dustin, how may I be of assistance to you?” you ask jokingly, giving him a slight smile. You met Dustin through Nancy Wheeler, where you then met her little brother, where you then met the curly headed boy speaking to you now. 

“Uh, yea, so you know I’m in that d&d club right? Hellfire?” 

“Yeah?” you draw out dramatically as you reach your locker and grab your necessities.

“You see, we’re kinda low on people at the moment, and we are kinda desperate for anyone to play with us tonight, and I think you’d be perf-” 

“Great, I’ll see you tonight Dustin” you interject his explanation and slam your locker shut with a dramatic smile. You do really mean that you will show up to Dustin's club tonight, but you really do want to get to class. 

Later that day, lunch came around. You usually sat with Nancy, but today she wasn’t here, so now you had to find somewhere else to sit. Your mind immediately flew to Dustin and Mike. While it wasn’t the most convenient thing to sit with two freshmen, they were your favorite freshmen. 

You spotted them walking towards a particular table and plop down in the seats on the right of the table. You begin your hasty walk towards the table and greet Dustin and Mike.

“Hey, Dustin..-Mike, do you think I could sit with you guys? Nancy isn’t here today” you ask sheepishly looking around the table because the rest of the people there might not really want you sitting with them. But, you caught eyes with the person at the head of the table. 

Eddie Munson, your weed dealer. You gave him a small smile.

“Of course, I was just telling Eddie about you y/n, since you will be joining us tonight in replacement for Gareth” he gestures to Eddie while welcoming you.

“Oh- uh, Eddie I didn’t know you were the leader of hellfire” You and Eddie didn’t have much of a relationship besides weed, but you were able to catch quite a few glimpses of him and he’s…a good looking young man. He has a wide smile, long, brown hair with bangs, and an eccentric charming personality- almost too charming. But, you weren’t sure if he was a complete ass or not, so you always kept your distance. 

“Yes, I am the leader, of hellfire” he gives an amused smile tilting his head and gesturing his hands towards his fellow club members. 

“Wait, y/n how do you know Eddie?” Mike asks with a confused look on his face. You didn’t know if you should lie or just tell him the truth. The truth being you get your weed from him. But before you could answer the confused looks at the table, Eddie answered for you. 

“We had a class together, I used to get answers from her” he nods towards you. This wasn’t entirely a lie either. 

“Yea” you smile, still standing at the other end of the table. You make eye contact with Eddie once more, as he lifts an eyebrow and looks you up and down, waiting for you to sit down. 

“Well… y/n, you can take a seat next to me” Dustin says referring to the chair to his right. Or, the chair on Eddies left. Or…Gareth's empty seat. 

“Yup” you say, realizing you were kinda just standing awkwardly at the end of the table staring around. You squeeze past Mike and Dustin and make it to the empty seat, which Eddie kicks out for you from under the table. You look at him and he’s already staring up at you with those brown eyes you’re suddenly staring at a lot today. When did this become a thing? You think and slightly blush at the attention from Eddie. 

“So, what class and level are you?” Jeff asks you from across from you. 

“Uh, I don’t know what that means” you laugh nervously. 

“It’s okay, we’ll teac-” Dustin begins to say, but is thoroughly cut off. 

“Henderson, how are we supposed to play if she doesn’t even know what a class and level are?” Eddie furrows his eyebrows at Dustin. 

“Eddie, I know- but you said anyone- remember? And y/n is a sorta close friend of mine, and like I was saying, we can teach her” Dustin explains “By the way, you were the one who said to find anyone, and y/n happens to be apart of that group” 

Eddie is quiet at this for a moment, you look around nervously at the apparent disapproval of your lack of knowledge, until he decides to speak up. 

“You have a point,” he says looking towards Dustin, then looking back at you. “You did good Henderson, but you’re in charge of teaching her the rules” 

As lunch went on, the more the group talked about tonight, the more you realized how unprepared you were this morning when you agreed to come tonight. Every now and then, Dustin would try to explain what they were talking about if it was d&d related, but it was quite difficult to understand. You would simply nod, then continue eating your lunch. You would occasionally catch Eddie looking your way, causing you to quickly avert your gaze somewhere else, anywhere else. The way he has been staring at you has been starting to make you nervous and a little bit flustered. He even set his left foot on yours for a moment and when you looked up at him he was mid-hilarious-conversation with someone else at the table and when he felt you staring, turned to you. 

“Sorry” he said while looking you over quickly with that wide smile, gliding his foot off of yours while laughing slightly. Jesus. You were beginning to think you were going crazy. It was almost like he was doing it on purpose, but still making it seem like all this is accidental. You tried to keep yourself contained for the rest of lunch. 

When it was time for the hellfire club to convene after school, you were a bit nervous to see him again. But why are you so nervous? It’s just another guy, it’s just mind games. You can play mind games too. 

As you make your way to the room where the magic happens as Dustin would say, it was so much more confusing than you could ever imagine. You were standing in the doorway, and the table in which this game takes place looks like a maze you would never get through. Dustin, Mike, and Lucas were already there. 

“Hey y/n!” Mike exclaims. 

“Hey” you wave “Oh, hey Lucas” you say almost surprised, because this little freshman was not at the lunch table. “Where were you at lunch?” you ask putting both hands on the door frame. 

“Oh, I was with my basketball friends,” he says nervously.

“Yea, he decided to sit with them instead of us- again!” Dustin chides angrily. Lucas only rolls his eyes at the comment. All of a sudden you are bumped into from behind. You both begin to fall forward when the person catches you with both hands on your waist, preventing your fall. 

“Woah- you okay there sweetheart?” he laughs so close to your ear. Of course it’s Eddie. His hands were still gripped onto your waist. You turn your head slightly to the right to look at him. 

“Uh” you laugh and look back down and move forward out of his grip, that was not easy to willingly leave. “Yea” you turn to him with your hands on your hips. He has an amused look on his face as he nods and heads towards the table. You breathe out after he has passed you. Sweetheart?! 

“Well, that was weird,” Mike mumbles to Dustin. 

“Yea. I know.”

                                            ◆:*:◇:*:◆:*:◇:*:◆

It was a close call. It was up to you and Dustin apparently to win the game. Dustin explained the numbers you needed to roll in order to win the game for them if he couldn't win. So when Dustin had rolled an eleven, it was up to you. You had the large numbered dice in your hand with the team behind your back before Eddie. The boys were yelling and shouting, very into the game. You were slowly catching onto the game but still very much confused. 

“WIN THIS Y/N” Dustin shouted in your ear, causing you to quickly let go of the dice. The dice rolled across the long table until it landed on a number.

20. 

The whole team behind you started screaming and clapping, patting you on the back. Apparently you did good. 

“Cric hit!” Lucas yelled. Apparently you did some damage with that roll. Eddie looked on in amusement at the fact you won the game for them. 

“Great job y/n, you did really well for a first timer” Eddie chuckled from across the table. 

After the exciting win for the boys, you all pour out of the school, heading to your designated rides. It was way dark outside by now. 

“Bye y/n” Dustin yelled. “I TOLD YOU EDDIE” he basically screamed behind you. You turn around to see Eddie flicking him off and smiling. You can tell he really has a soft spot for that kid. Dustin was the same way for you. 

“You must really love that kid” you retorted to Eddie behind you. 

“Yup, dontcha just wanna squeeze him till he pops” he laughs while waving at the group of kids getting picked up by Steve Harrington. 

“It’s like you're waving goodbye to your children” you bump him with your elbow. 

“If they’re anything like me, their actual parents would send them to military school.” You laugh at his comment and turn to him. 

“So, I’m gonna need an ounce” you tilt your head and smile at him, now that the kids are gone you can actually get to what you want in peace. 

“Mhm, and you’re bringing this up to me now?” he raises his brows.

“Yup” 

“Alright, I think I have it in my van” he sighs and you follow him towards the goods.

You reach the van and he climbs into the driver's seat and rummages through his glove box for the drugs as you watch from the opened door. 

“Got it” he says while quickly sitting up and closing the glove box. “Now, I have extra, wanna smoke some?” he asks mischievously. 

“In the school parking lot?” you ask seriously. 

“Uh, Yea?” he says as if its an obvious thing. You aren’t one to say no to this offer. You’d be getting to hot box in this van, plus the weed you came to pay for, and spend time with Eddie? Yea, you were down. 

“Alright I’m down” you laugh and he climbs out and opens the sliding door for you both to enter. He rolls a joint and he lights it. You both pass it back and forth until it's almost completely gone, making conversation between hits. You never would have guessed he was actually this nice and not as much as a complete ass as you were expecting him to be. He’s is actually pretty sweet, and has a great sense of humor. Just the right concoction to turn you on. 

“Can I have the roach?” you ask, eyes most likely bloodshot as your head was slightly spinning from the effect. You flash your eyelashes innocently. 

“No” he says, almost choked up from the smoke he was blowing out of his mouth. His finger almost burning from how short the joint had gotten at this point. He put it out effectively in the ashtray beside him. 

“Why not?” you say offended. 

“Because, I, Eddie Munson, am letting you smoke for free, I’m keepin the roach, sweetheart” he smiles and leans back on his elbows, making his hellfire t-shirt slightly rise up to show his lower stomach while lifting the roach up into the air in a teasing way. Metallica softly playing in the background. 

“Well, I, y/n l/n, am paying you with my company, and risking getting caught smoking weed on school grounds, therefore” you lean forward and take the roach out of his hand, but not backing away. “I should get the roach” you smirk inches away from his face, looking down at his lips back up to his eyes. You can tell he is caught off guard by the sudden action that you previously would not have made sober. But like you said, mind games. 

“Well, you do have a point” he says, placing a hand on your hip to hold you in place. Your body moves slightly forward and eyes slightly widen at the sudden action, he smirks at your reaction. Shit, mind games. You weren't going out like that, so you compose yourself and move your body to sit on his lap. You can feel the butterflies in your stomach when his other hand comes to rest on your other hip. You’re still holding onto the roach, so you do a quick shove of it in your front pocket. 

“I’m keepin it” you say, placing both arms around his shoulders tilting your head and looking down at his lips. He licks them, taking in the moment. There's a moment of silence, almost like he was thinking about something, but then he spoke. 

“Have I ever told you how pretty you are?” He smiles widely, not breaking eye contact. You both laugh and he moves a hand to put a strand of hair behind your ear. “I’m serious though, you really are, especially when I get to have you this close” he whispers after the laughter dies down. 

You are shocked at how genuine it sounded, and it’s probably the sweetest thing he’s ever said to you, so with a clouded mind, you don’t even answer, you just lean down and go in for the kiss. His lips are soft, and you hover over him as you lightly kiss him. You smile into the kiss when he groans satisfactorily at the contact.  

He places a hand behind your head while leaning up to have more access to your lips. He starts to open mouth you, his other hand starting to grind your hip down on him. You moan slightly when you feel how hard he’s gotten from this. Just from being close to him. You revel in the feeling of him being this close, it’s like fireworks are being set off from this small interaction. 

He moves down your jaw to your neck, you’re involuntarily grinding down on him now. It’s all overwhelming and you clear your throat to prevent another moan from coming out as the friction hits your clit just right repeatedly. You’re both breathing heavily as he starts to make his way down your shoulder bone and towards your chest. Through hooded eyes however, you look at the clock on his dashboard in the front of the van. 

Shit. It’s 7:30. 

“Oh my god” you say panicked, knowing your curfew was thirty minutes ago. Eddie pulls away and looks up at you after your panicked tone. 

“What? Are you okay?”

“Eddie I have to go, my curfew was thirty minutes ago!” you tell him worried. “My parents are really strict about curfew” 

“Oh, shit” Eddie says, moving away from you and opening the van door. “You still want your weed?” He laughs at the situation. 

“Uh, yea- shit” you feel your pockets where you usually keep your money and it’s empty. “Fuck- I don’t have my money- I’ll have to get it another ti-”

“Here, just take it, and don’t even try to-”

“Eddie I can’t just-”

“No, y/n, take it, get home to your parents” he says handing the baggy of weed to you as you both exit the van. He closes the door and you both stand there awkwardly. 

Until, he leans down and kisses you deeply. You laugh as he kisses you. 

“Yea, we’ll have to do this another time” he says looking you up and down, “goodnight, sweetheart” he smiles down at you. 

“Goodnight. Eddie” you smile and turn to speed walk to your car. Jesus, your parents are gonna kill you. 

[winterchimez]

tag game! 🎮

tagged by: @adorablehyunjae @from-izzy (thank you yas & izzy!! 💕)

rules: you're going to pick 10 of your biases (or as many biases as you have and then fill in the rest of the spots with idols you like) and number them 1-10. then answer the questions below! try not to look at the questions before you make your list!

bias list:

lee sangyeon (tbz)

jeon jungkook (bts)

xiao dejun (wayv)

min yoongi (bts)

lee hyunjae (tbz)

ju haknyeon (tbz)

kim chungha

kim youngbin (sf9)

lee jihoon (svt)

song yuqi (g)i-dle

questions under the cut!

between 7 and 5, who did you bias first?

i def fell for chungha way back before i became a deobi so it's her!! literally my kween i love love and admire her sm 🥹

between 2 and 6, who are you more attached to?

if we're speaking in terms of ult then it would be jungkook 🤧 he was literally my no.1 ult for life (and has been for so many years) until sangyeon came in the picture 😭 but he's still super dear to me i love my googie loads 🥺🐰 if irl ideally probs my junjun!! we both speak chinese & cantonese, me is an infp and he's an enfp, match made in heaven dare i say!! but seriously xiaojun is literally my ideal type irl 🥹🦕

if you were to spend the day with either 3 or 1, who would you choose and what would you do?

WHY WOULD YOU MAKE ME CHOOSE BETWEEN SANGYEON AND DEJUN WHY WHY WHY 😭😭😭😭😭😭 OKAY BUT REALISTICALLY SPEAKING, i might have to choose xiaojun 😔 (LET ME EXPLAIN BEFORE ANY OF YALL COME AT ME—)

firstly, we wouldn't have any language barriers which saves up so much time and energy good lord. (if it was sangyeon i would be stammering in my speech all day im sorry i will go learn more hangul first 😭😭😭) i LOVE cafe hopping, so i'd probably drag his ass to all of the places i wanna go, probably hang around at some park for picnic during noon, and finish off dinner at haidilao (obviously) 😋 he's a foodie he'll agree with me 😚

what is your favorite physical feature about 9?

look i have a thing for his captivating eyes (which jihoon reminds me loads of yoongi maybe that's why they're both part of my bias list LMAO)

what is your favorite part of 6's personality?

MY BELOVED HAKKIE 🥹 i absolutely love how enthusiastic he is about literally EVERYTHING. as a huge introvert myself i longed to have a partner who's outgoing and would literally make my laugh over anything at all, and that's how i imagine hakkie would be (esp when that's how he is with the members) ughhh i would do anything to spend time with this one 🤧🤧🤧

if you were to tell 8 anything you wanted, what would you tell them?

my precious binnie 🍀 you've been through so much and i know as a leader it hasn't always been easy for you shouldering so much even when you were in the army. but i hope you know that fantasys are always here for you and that it's totally fine to cry and let out your feelings to us, and i wish nothing but to continue to see that lovely smile and laughter on you always 💚

between 1 and 2, whose closet would you raid?

bruh they're both fashionistas but imma go for Sangyeon bcs Jungkook's closet is literally all black and white, and some hints of red that's it 😭

what is a style that you want to see 3 try?

i think xiaojun is pretty open-minded and he has tried quite a lot of styles by now... but i have to say. wayv's all for love perf from their kick back showcase???? that xiaojun CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER.

between 5 and 4, who are you closer to in height?

yoongi 😭 hyunjae is too tall for moi 🤧

between 10 and 9, whose music do you like the best?

omg please this is such a hard one 😭😭😭😭😭😭 but i will have to go for seventeen since i've been their fan literally since their debut 🤧🤧🤧

tagging: @sungbeam @juyeonszn @itsbeeble @zzoguri @kimsohn @mosviqu @invuwrld @stealanity @etherealcheol-mp3 @cupidjyu @snowflakewhispers @planetkiimchi @beautifulchris

[betweenthings2]

hello!!! warning you now that this is going to be the longest thing ever because i’m allergic to being concise but it’s finally time for me to actually send you an ask to gush and discuss your incredible writing. i’ve been interacting with your work on ao3 and tumblr for over a year now and i just lurk and heart everything because i refuse to use tumblr how it’s intended to be used🫣 but it’s time to show my face (even though this is anonymous oops) and say the quality of your writing is genuinely unparalleled to anything else i’ve ever read online and dare i say it comes close to/ overtakes some of the published books i’ve read and loved. you are such a talent it drives me crazy. you’ve quite literally spoiled fanfiction for me because i’ll read something for a different fandom and think “ugh it’s good but it’s not betweenthings2😔😔😔”

i saw you answer an ask a while ago asking what your goal for writing is and you said something along the lines of wanting to move people with your work. when i saw that it made me smile because you’ve achieved it ten times over and im worried you don’t realise it!!! so im going to tell you about my experience reading Roadkill for the first time (side note but in my opinion this is your best and therefore most underrated piece and i would love to talk about it further)

i remember being at a cafe that day by myself having a little drink and sweet treat and getting the email notification that you’d posted something to ao3 and nearly dying from anticipation for the rest of the day because i knew i wouldn’t do the fic justice to just quickly read it in a noisy cafe. it would be a waste of art. so in the evening i lied to my parents that i had plans with friends and wouldn’t be home for dinner and instead walked to the park near my house with a block of chocolate and sat on a park bench in the slightly-chilly-but-still-nice-out australian dusk. trust me i remember it so vividly because it’s like a core memory for me now. i’d been going through a really tough time mentally and felt super disconnected from everything and everyone. when i tell you i read all 35k words in one sitting and wept like a baby. i’m a very emotional girl dont get me wrong but the release that your writing made me feel was something so special that i’d never felt before. the whole piece is so devastating and confronting and just misery but it made me feel so seen and whole and human. if i could describe your writing in one word i think it would be human. everything is always raw and vulnerable and messy but so tender it just makes me insane. i sat in that park and cried for such a long time and even though the whole experience was so heavy and i could feel the grief you manufactured in my gut i left that park feeling lighter and grounded. i think that’s how anyone would feel after witnessing such greatness. (side note but i’ve actually banned myself from re-reading roadkill for the minute because it makes me lose my mind a bit too much but that’s just a further testament to you. can’t wait to get back to my scripture later on)

your other fics on ao3 and perfect as well and i read Second Letter From St Julian, All This Barley Getting By, I Forget A Lot Of Things But I’ll Never Forget You and Me And You vs Them religiously. they are my comfort fics through and through🩷 maybe the hyper fixation has gone too deep for me but when i’m trying to fall asleep i use the plots of your fics to expand on in my head and it’s just the perf combination to lull me to sleep.

now for imo the main event of this ask- i need to tell you the extreme and life threatening brainrot THIS specific line from Of Bouquets And Back Rubs has given me.

"Sorry," Matty apologizes.

George sighs, but doesn't stop. "I'm going to start talking to your therapist if you keep apologizing for things you don't need to apologize for," he says.

what the hell. you can’t just write that and expect my whole world to not revolve around it for the rest of my life. that line ping pongs around my head at all times. at work, in the shower, when i’m on a walk, when i’m laying in bed, it’s literally always on my mind. i don’t know why but i just thought you should know that’s it’s STUCK with me. like i’m truly affected. (if you ever wanted to expand on it you know you have at least one devoted fan of the idea)

hopefully this will be my first of many asks because it’s so nice to finally tell you how deeply in love i am with your words. to hold me accountable i’ll claim the matcha emoji 🍵 if that’s something you do!!!!

i just realised i didn’t tell you how your prompts make me melt but they do and i wouldn’t survive the commute to tafe without them. just little bites of pure literature you spoil us so much.

thanks for giving me something to lurk on and obsess over- it’s been an honour🩷 (also ps i wonder if you can figure out who this is based on the freaky amount of times i heart your posts. someone has to sit me down and explain that this isn’t instagram🤕)

Hi, newly christened Matcha Anon!! =)

I meant to answer this yesterday, but I just kept reading through it and being so incredibly touched and blown away by all of your kind words that I didn't entirely have a response, but I think I do now. I will also be long.

First of all, I am so touched (and a little surprised) that you find my writing to be on par with published novels, so thank you so much, that is such an amazing compliment!!! I can't believe I've spoiled you for fic. I'm getting back into the swing of things now that I'm home, so I'll have more fic for you soon.

I'm also so glad to hear that I've creating something moving. Sometimes I think I take things a little too seriously, particularly writing fic, but I'm thrilled to hear that you find my work moving. This will be stuck in my head forever:

"it would be a waste of art."

Roadkill was a lot to write because it gets so bleak and some of me is in there, but I'm so moved by your experience of reading it and honored that you would share it. That's my goal, generally--to create catharsis. And to see my fanfic called greatness? Oh my god. Oh my god. I have no words other than oh my god and thank you so, so much!!

I'm thrilled to see that Of Bouquets and Backrubs resonated with you, particularly that bit of dialogue. That whole fic was a little bit last minute, to be entirely honest and I was working so hard to make it fluffy, rather than angsty. I might expand on that fic in the future, but I also really like how it ended. Who knows what will happen. I don't.

I'm also so happy that you like the prompts! I think they're really fun to write and very low stakes for me. Apologies for not having a more regular schedule for posting anything, but there's no way I could keep that up for more than a week or two. I would explode.

Thank you so much for all the compliments and reading what I write!!! 💚💚💚

[akitamafumis]

trying to go through life thoughts

I wrote some thoughts on the l/n starira AU that i am putting here for posterity . mainly .

I don’t really know where to start or how to go into this. I made a comment to frog about how i thought that thematically l/n weren’t too far off, at least with some things. There’s the difference between revue’s focus on selfishness, but i think in a way you can see those as the difference between theatre and music (non-theatre) as art forms. Does that make sense? It’s an interesting part of a band, that the thematic idea of selfishness literally can only go so far—anyone can hope to be the lead in theatre, but a drumset player can’t hope to play the melody (you’re about to pitch your idea for a set of chromatically tuned toms. There’s nothing i can say to you that would stick in your brain).

So that was kind of my general vibe. I felt like there were enough similarities to justify the differences to make it make sense. I was only doing it as a writing exercise and it kind of spiraled. Ppl have talked about how it’s rly hard to revue something else because besides just fun aesthetics for art, it requires upward work to try and justify the occurrences in the AU to make it actually work. So i thought, maybe, it’d be fun to try and work through those thoughts a bit and see what I could come up with.

The most major change of note is that Shiho’s parents work in theatre in some way—it’s super vague and I didn’t want to come up with any concrete answers just because it felt pointless to. One of her parents might be a rinmeikan graduate or a family member was a teacher there or something, hence how they ended up with an old Rinmeiki vhs, and a result of her parents being in theatre means her desire to be a professional musician is switched to a desire to be a professional actor. A lot of what ripples out from there in terms of their childhood is pretty self explanatory: they watch Rinmeiki, put on little plays together just the four of them, and then things fall apart as they grow older.

I wanted to get them relatively close to pjsk canon at the start moreso than starira’s, so the perf department is already closed while they’re in their first year. I think in the context of this story they had more members at the start of the year, but people (upperclassmen) dropped into general education just because they knew the department was going to close down, until it was just Shiho and Ichika. Upperclassmen are only 2nd years, bc the part of my brain that cares too much ab logistics thinks the school would let any third years graduate in their department before shutting it at the end of the year but ANYWAY.

Kanade and Shizuku showing up is just because i needed two people connected to two of our people. I don’t know what school kanade/25ji go to. MMJ are frontier they’re. Idols. I have no idea who frau platin is. Actual answer probably Iori. But instead. Haruhi Minamoto. Fuck you.

There’s a lot about what I did with honami that ends up feeling like favorite character favoritism. And it IS. But it was also tied to the fact she did brass band in middle school, so she’s converted to being the most theatre oriented behind Shiho. Rather than Honami being ostracized for what she is in canon, it’s for acting, which was mainly because i needed a reason for her to quit acting specifically. Centering acting does shift the fact that for both honami and shiho acting becomes the center of their straining relationship with ichika/each other, rather than their interpersonal problems. But revue generally ties personal problems and the stage up together, so i think it’s not an unfair thing to change, and it’s not so much a change for Shiho, anyway.

Also honami’s weapon IS NOT A SCYTHE. It is just a lance. They have pretty boring revue weapons. The scythe joke is ABOUT HER NAME ONLY. IT IS UNFORTUNATE, BUT MERELY COINCIDENCE. WE SHOULD KILL KOCHO SHIZUHA.

The. Story is meant to conceptually cover what would be the school story (partially)+opening arc… a hypothetical main story (which you will never see from me because SCOPE) would large scale consist of them trying to form an official association and performance festival, etc etc etc, alongside their individual character arcs.

As far as the characters, shiho’s follow up would cover um. Obviously. Saki and Ichika have both taken Shiho helping/joining the association to mean that she’s not planning on transferring but that is still very much on the table for her. Only Honami is aware that the . Fights within their group aren’t over yet which is meant to compound with a certain lack of confrontation.

Honami’s would center around that whole revue weapon business, and the sense of regaining her brilliance. There are certain elements that tie into pjsk canon in terms of her (re)finding the confidence to speak her mind and put her foot down more, slowly. I think also as a secondary thing she gets into directing, over time.

Saki’s the most vague in my mind. I think she’s got passion and conviction but a sort of lack of direction, even though those two usually lead to the third. It’s the least developed in my brain so far. There’s also maybe something about her illness, both in terms of recognizing her own limits and acknowledging them, but also in not sidelining herself from going for lead roles, or something.

Ichika sort of lacks a lot as a stage girl initially. In her idea that she has parts of the rest of the group in herself i thought about including some implication that she doesn’t know what she would pass on to the three of them in return, but i couldn’t fit a line in about it without drawing a lot of attention to it, and it would fly under the radar after that revue and not come up again for a while. She’s also still carrying baggage for assuming the fault of the department shutting down.

Point is, when saki and ichika agree about not fighting each other and only facing other schools from now on, they are entirely off base. Things aren’t really fully aligned.

Okay. Now for my least favorite part. I thought revue intros would be fun and now i have to talk about them a little bit briefly. All of them contain an element of their name, alongside. Okay.

Saki’s is a mess well okay that’s not fair they’re all a mess to me . The “Bright skies” in the opening references the her last name, and the reference to blossoms her first name. Hers also overtly. References Rinmeiki.

Shiho’s isn’t tied to rinmeiki at all and the name references are the most vague, but her is very. Situationally accurate and i think remains so. She does the hard carrying for the revue conversion and i think up until the transferring confrontation comes to a head she’s often sort of . Antagonistic in trying to push the rest to either rise to the challenge or give up. “Brilliance pierces through the artificial shades” is the reference to her name. Brilliance standing in for sun and um. Sun piercing through the treetops. Also the final line the use of the word rises.

Ichika’s guided by the light of stars is her name reference, alongside the “melody of our song” thing. Rinmeiki are referenced as well, “against the flow of history” and the thing about her being a hero.

Honami’s is so heavy handed it hurts me and that’s what she gets for being last. She references all four of their names, and doesn’t have a specific Rinmeiki reference.

They also all specifically reference themselves differently. Ichika and Saki as students of rinmeikan, shiho as merely a stage girl, and honami as part of the performance association (which technically doesn’t exist officially when she says that).

I think…that’s kind of everything I’ve got…at least for now. That’s the bulk of it, really, i think. I hope. I don’t know :)

[sins-and-wins-with-vix]

Everything Right/Wrong with Ninjago “Legacy of the Green Ninja” E13: Rise of the Spinjitzu Master

Disclaimers: Show owned by LEGO. This is not a professional review/critique - it’s mainly intended for comedy!

Be sure to reblog, comment, and/or like, and tell me your thoughts!

- Final appearance of the OG intro! ✅

- Technically the title should be “Rise of the Ultimate Spinjitzu Master,” considering that all the ninja are referred to as Spinjitzu masters. Granted, the title of this post is already much longer than it needed to be, so leaving it out kinda does me a favor… except I don’t care soooooo ❌

- Dareth survives this. That’s not a sin because it’s unrealistic, but because I didn’t want him to ❌

- “But I don’t remember my father any other way.” Sure, Garmadon was always an evil warlord bent on destruction, but he still cared deeply about Lloyd, which is a stark contrast from the Overlord that you’d think Lloyd would pick up on. ❌

- “For once, I am afraid there is nothing to learn.” Wu thinks that just because he can’t pull some contrived lesson out of his a*s it means that there is no lesson to be found at all. Wow, it’s been awhile since I’ve properly sh*t on Wu for no real reason other than I want him to burn… feels nice to be back in practice ❌

- “And when [the FSM’s] back was up against the wall did he quit? No, he found a way to keep the fight going.” Yeah, by forcing it onto a bunch of kids in the future so he wouldn’t actually have to deal with it. I get that if he couldn’t win, it was the right choice to extend the fight, but you can acknowledge something as being the only viable option while also not treating it as this massive sacrifice because ultimately, he’s the only one that didn’t get hurt ❌

- “He passed his elemental powers onto us - of all people! A bunch of kids! There’s must’ve been a reason he chose us…” I get that the writers didn’t know there’d be more seasons but watching this knowing what we know now about elemental masters… it falls a bit flat ❌

- “And ninja never quit!” He said it guys! He said the line!! ✅

- Also, Kai was the first to float something resembling the “ninja never quit” line back in S1, and I find it adorable that Lloyd listened well enough to actually remember ✅

- But also, Lloyd plagiarizes his brother. Where’s your in text citation, Lloyd? WHERE? ❌

- How did the Falcon know about the mech? ❌

- Not a single one of the ninja puts their sword into their respective slot ❌

- ^(I swear that wasn’t meant to be a s*x joke)

- I get that Garmatron was big, but how the f*ck did it turn into that tall a building??? ❌

- “I can’t wait to see the look on the Overlord’s face when he sees us!” “Is that the look you were hoping for?” “Zane… no.” Well, look who found a sense of humor! ✅

- “I know we’ve always drawn a crowd, but this is ridiculous!” I know early Jay was an a*shole but I still miss him ✅

- “Where’d ya get [elemental blades]? I want one!” Same, Dareth ✅

- You know that meme where it’s like “the final boss when you fight vs. unlocking them as a playable character?” The Stone Army is the embodiment of that meme ❌

- I will never not be emotional over Jay literally pushing Lloyd away and taking the hit for him. ✅

- “No, there’s only one green ninja!” Kai’s character development ✅

- “I have come here to fight you!” Really? D*mn, this whole time I just thought it was game night ❌

- “You don’t even have a sword!” “I don’t need a sword.” AU where Lloyd pulls out a gun

- “Then all I have to say is… goodbye.” ✅✅

- “I am the Ultimate Spinjitzu Master!” Amazing, the triple zoom-ins, the cinematography, the suit change, the line delivery - flawless, spectacular, perf- ✅

- “Where there is light, there will always be shadow!” “Unless my light is bright enough!” Green bean I love you but… that’s not how light works… D*mmit, Wu, this is what happens when you pull kids out of grade school! ❌

- Was the fight itself a bit underwhelming? Yes, it was, but you know what? The drama of it, the music, the cinematography - all of it well makes up for the relative lack of action ✅

- Alas, I have to do me and mention the lack of Lloyd’s character development. S1 (while not perfect) did a good job of giving each ninja a respective arc and episode that made their true potential feel earned, deserved, and personal to each of them, but that feeling just isn’t there for Lloyd. As much as I love over-analyzing, the importance of this scene and what it meant for Lloyd and his character shouldn’t be implied. ❌

- “Should the Overlord decide to show his face around here… we’ll be ready!” “And next time we’ll be a little more humble.” “And a little more wise.” “And with better catchphrases!” Why the f*ck am I crying ✅

- Also, I can guarantee they won’t ❌

- “You think we should dog-pile em?” Yes! ��Let’s give them their moment.” D*mmit! ❌

- “Speak for yourself! I’m looking forward to doing a little more inventing, dabble in model-building, little bit of poetry-“ Pilots reference! ✅

- Sure is sad that Ninjago only got two seasons, I mean, doing this for every episode was fun! But I supposed everyone has to move on eventua- wait, what do you mean there’s more seasons? How many? 15 AND A HALF?? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!? YALL IM COLLEGE SEARCHING RIGHT NOW. AM I GONNA BE DOING THESE POSTS WHILE STUDYING FOR MY MAJOR?!? AM I EVER NOT GONNA BE OBSESSED WITH THIS F*CKING SHO-

- Anyways, I’ll see y’all in season 3!

Sentence: Not Final Final Battle

[clacing]

I wanted to ask Reyna this but idk if she watched the newest episode yet 😭

What do you think the solution will be for Eri, Suletta, and Aerial now that Calibarn has been introduced into the show? I mean, Calibarn is quite iconic and I think she's the only gundam type in the show that could rival Aerial's popularity, like the model looks amazing and they're basically a giant witch gundam--amazing 10/10

But do you think that Calibarn will serve as the replacement for Aerial permanently? Suletta continuing to pilot Calibarn makes sense in a narrative way, showing how she's grown past her craddle (Aerial). BUT given how much of a strain it puts on Suletta without Eri, im not too sure. That is unless Suletta somehow becomes more compatible with the data storm like Eri is

And would Eri want to be tied to Aerial or any Gundam after everything that she and Prospera have done? Can she survive without Aerial?

I think, in my perf world, Eri would shift from Aerial to Calibarn. Sibling solidarity 🤞but that's probably wishful thinking on my part. 😣 I think I just feel guilty for liking Calibarn's design more than Aerial's now

Reyna has watched it and will be writing their own post!! I wanted to include her thoughts here but she said they were too long

As for me: I honestly don't think Suletta will be getting into any more Gundams after the final fight. Even if they somehow found a way for Gundams to not kill their pilots, they're still the most scarily efficient war machines around. And this isn't even a matter of "oh the Gundams themselves aren't the problem it's just how they're used" because war is literally what they were created for. GUND-Arm technology is salvageable and I really hope Miorine can still do something with it but once you incorporate it into mobile suits bad things are going to start happening so I hope Suletta and Miorine can just run off to Earth and settle down on a nice farm where they can keep growing their tomatoes and working on medical tech. I think they deserve it

As for Eri..... there's no way she's going to live I'm sorry anon 😭 After keeping her stuck in a giant robot for 17 years it's time for Prospera to finally practice what she preaches and move forward. Like I think Eri will be gone by the end of the series either way but I think it would be especially powerful if Prospera were to let her go. I figured Eri would die since I saw the end of The Blessing MV with Aerial seemingly abandoned, Suletta walking away from it, and Eri slowly disappearing with a smile on her face, and that's still my prediction

[koishua]

when i tell you haruto solos everyone in terms of sheer stage presence and energy in fourth gen especially in his age category?? the official concert perf video of volkno in osaka dropped and i held both hands over my mouth in order to not scream my eyes were out of their sockets hyunhayo are quite literally beyond everything ever it's the way treasure has grown so much it's mind-blowing i had to take a break to calm my heartbeat down holy heck they are all insanely good on stage i love them so so so damn much you don't understand they are my favourites ever gosh it kills me how they aren't even more popular they deserve every bit of praise they get

[sanstropfremir]

opinions on shinee girls girls girls performance? the one in bathrobes? its so good they really amp up their performances and make it feel like youre watching a musical..... no matter how dumb the song is 😭😭

good fun all around! shinee is historically very good at doing a lot of different types of performances during their concerts, so it's pretty typical for them to do something that feels more like a musical performance. and it feels like a musical bc the choreography is pretty closely matched to the lyrics and very literal; most musical choreography has an element of prescriptivity to it. because the lyrics/libretto of a musical often have the characters singing about what they're physically doing, it translates into the choreography as well. this literalism isn't the most common in forms that focus on one element of performance, like a dancer choosing and choreographing to a song, as they're more likely to take a general idea from the lyrics or pay more attention to interpreting the music itself. and kpop skews much more towards this form, since a lot of kpop songs are not usually written specifically for this type of narrative performance. choreography is obviously made for specific songs and groups, but that narrative element doesn't usually appear because kpop sort of like......reinvented musical performance, but backwards? most types of performance got started FROM the narrative element first, and then various elements like acting, music, and dance were slowly added until we reached musical theatre/opera (in western theatre history) which are generally regarded as the 'pinnacle' performance forms. well, opera is at least, see: wagner. but since that point, it's become common practice to separate out those forms again, and to regard those separated forms as the 'pinnacles' of their achievements (wrong), thanks to postmodern academic art theorists and the artist monolith myth (yes i will talk about this again, you can't stop me). music has always has a performance element, but in terms of pop music, that performance is usually layered back on top after the music has been completed, and usually without a definitive narrative. kpop took that form that western pop started, added a much more significant dance component, and THEN started layering 'narrative' (lore) overtop it finally, in a funny kind of inverse.

i got a bit off track with that, but it's usually more common to see these types of perfomances done by groups that have a 'less serious' image, because it's much easier to do them tongue in cheek/for comedic purposes. it's also easier to do them as concert specific or bside performances, bc having them be performed constantly all the time like in a promo period tends to wear out the charm for people that are seeing it all the time. very, very few people ever see the entire run of a musical, after all. there hasn't been too many performances like this from fourth gen groups (or even third gen ones for that matter), but last year there was blitzers' hop in, which imo has the same stupid boy (complimentary) energy of the girls girls girls perf. also it's quite literally framed as a musical performance lol.

[frostfall-matches]

[ matchmaking... ]

@shxtodxroki : [ match report ready ]

your match is…

✦ Itadori Yuji

-> Yuji is pleasant and easygoing, making it easy to talk to him and open up at your own pace. Although even he acknowledges that he can be a bit dense and dumb sometimes, he is surprisingly astute and intuitive when it comes to others. So, even though you initially come off as awkward and shy, Yuji takes it in stride. Even if he’s more the social type himself, he’s very well aware that not everyone takes to strangers very well. If you find it difficult to initiate the first few conversations with him, he has no qualms kicking it off himself. He doesn’t press you too hard to continue chatting if you’re not comfortable; he has plenty he can yap about. And yet, it probably doesn’t take you long to settle into a comfortable rhythm with his conversations. Yes, he can talk a lot - and sometimes he gets very animated - but he leaves plenty of room for you to chime in.

-> He loves to hear about your current interests or whatever topic you’ve recently delved into. Does he understand everything you’re trying to explain? Probably not, especially considering there are many topics where he doesn’t have the same background knowledge as you before you start discussing the topic, but he’s all ears regardless! He can actually keep up pretty well if you happen to be the type to switch between topics and ideas quickly, though, even if he doesn’t have all the information. When he learns you’re thinking of becoming a teacher in the future, it all suddenly clicks for him - and he thinks it’d be a good fit for you! You’re patient, thorough, good at explaining things and simplifying concepts when need be. It’s clear that you have a passion for learning, a passion for sharing knowledge with others and connecting with them that way, and he hopes that you’re able to get where you want to go in the future.

-> Movie dates are frequent! And it’s a good thing you two have similar tastes. Whenever the latest horror movie comes out that seems interesting to at least one of you (there have definitely been times where either you or Yuji think the premise of a particular movie is lame… but you’ll watch it together anyways), you guys immediately make plans to watch it, whether it be in theaters or at home. Yuji typically prefers hitting the theaters, loving the huge screens, the easy access to snacks, and the overall atmosphere - but he is more than happy to snuggle up with you and stream a movie from the comfort of home, too. Thankfully, he also responds well to the fact that you like to discuss the goings-on of the film while you’re watching it, loving your real-time reactions and thoughts. He loves coming up with crazy theories about how a movie’s going to end, especially when it comes to mysteries.

-> Yuji loves the variety you incorporate into your fashion. Sure, you have a preferred style, often dressing in cute, feminine clothes with soft colors, but you’re not afraid to experiment and switch up styles here and there. Yuji thinks your usual style is just precious (and he’s absolutely smitten with how cute you look), but he also gets really excited on days where you change things up! He likes being kept on his toes, even when it’s a seemingly small thing like personal style. Considering you’re flexible with your fashion, he actually quite likes picking up the occasional piece when he’s out and about (or dragged out shopping by Nobara) and seeing how you react to it. He always gets the cheesiest grin on his face when you coordinate an outfit with something he got for you.

-> He is so incredibly caring and would do practically anything for you. Hell, he literally was ready to sacrifice himself for Megumi’s sake the first time they met. Needless to say, Yuji would be a very devoted, sweet boyfriend. He seems the type to lean into physical touch often, absolutely loving to pull you into tight hugs and peppering chaste kisses on your cheeks or forehead. However, he often performs acts of service, wanting your day to run a little bit smoother. Yuji is your man if you have any errands that need to be run, if something isn’t working quite right in your place, or if you’re simply too exhausted to cook dinner that night. Careful, though; he is absolutely the type to run himself into the ground for someone he loves. Empathetic and observant as you are, you’re very firm on the fact that he doesn’t need to drop everything just to help you out, that he needs to take care of himself, too.

-> Yuji is very mentally resilient, and he naturally becomes your rock in times of stress. Again, if he has the ability to support you in any way, he will - and in cases like this… let him provide you with some comfort. He doesn’t think any less of you because of your anxiety and tendency to overthink. He can’t truthfully say that he knows exactly what you’re going through, but the important thing is that this is something you struggle with regularly and he can at least extend sympathy and support to you. All that being said, though… During the times where grief and despair are ready to swallow him up because the life of a jujutsu sorcerer is cruel and difficult for anyone with a heart, he appreciates the comfort and reassurance you provide him more than you know. And really, how could he not be comforted by someone like you? You’re kind, empathetic, more than happy to lend an ear, not judging him for his actions, his reactions, everything he’s gone through.

-> Yuji is your knight in shining armor when it comes to bugs! They really don’t bother him in the slightest, and he has no issues handling them with his bare hands (though the mere idea has your skin crawling). He is more the type to simply toss them outside rather than outright kill them, though, and while he doesn’t outright say anything, he hopes whatever critter he tossed out doesn’t end up making it’s way back inside… Sometimes, he will try to reason with you (“they’re just bugs - most of them are harmless!” or “that spider’s just hanging out on his web up in the corner, he’s not bothering anyone”) but thankfully he has enough sense not to approach you with a bug in his hand. He did that once and he’s never forgotten the glare you sent his way at that time.

-> He treasures each and every single gift you get him. Yuji loves having little mementos, physical reminders of you, of your affection for him, of all the little moments you’ve shared together. He never really considered himself someone who cared too terribly much about material items, feeling that the experience and memories themselves were more important, but he would never willingly part with anything you’ve given him. When you gift him with something, he gets this lovesick smile on his face and can’t help but squeeze you tightly to him, thanking you. But if you get him something that he knows is spendy, he’ll scold you just a little. He loves the gift, of course, but you don’t need to spend so much on him! In return for your gifts, he will try and find an item for you to add to one of your many collections - he knows your little collections hold a lot of sentimental value and fill your days with joy, so he feels it’s quite a fitting way to reciprocate, considering he is now growing a collection of your presents for him.

runner up…

✦ Gojo Satoru

-> Gojo has the potential to be an absolutely amazing partner - confident, bold, and affectionate, the type that would spoil and smother his partner with love if they let him. He’s at once ambitious while also remaining levelheaded enough to understand what’s realistically possible. Gojo knows how to have fun and enjoys being a bit silly and dramatic; he’d absolutely be a fun partner to have around, making sure every day was fun and exciting. Still, he may be a bit too emotionally unavailable at times, the weight of sorcerer society too heavy on his shoulders. No one can truly step into his shoes and really understand the pressure and expectations placed on him since he was a child. There are times where he may feel like he shouldn’t drag a partner into his world to stand by his side, and times where he’s simply just too busy. Some people can handle that without much issue, but it can be difficult for someone who has a more anxious attachment style. It could definitely work with some effort, but there would likely be some level of anxiousness and grief that would seep into the seams of the relationship.

[iamacolor]

Hi there!!

Happy Christmas Eve Eve! Hope you've been having an awesome day~ Since 2023 is coming to an end soon, I was just wondering what dramas are you looking forward to in 2024? Were there any dramas in 2023 that surprised you by how it delightfully all consuming it was? I'm looking for recs for my long weekend 🤣.

secret santa :)

happy christmas eve eve to you too dear secret santa !! I hope you're having a good day! today was quite taxing as I had to cross the country (literally) to be with my family for Christmas (the subway was delayed, I barely got in my train so I got in the wrong car and then had to quickly exit and change at the next station then my second train was delayed and super packed but I made it woohoo)

tbh I never look into what's coming up with new dramas I tend to stumble upon news of releases and synopsis through tumblr posts or updates on some actors and so I often start a drama after the first week because I often discover them through gifs or because I had forgotten the release date had come up lol. but since you asked I thought I'd do things differently and I went to see a list and there were sooo many so I focused on the ones being released soon and I think I might check out love song for illusion (it's about a cursed crown prince and the woman who is set on killing him for revenge) and doctor slump (I like the idea of two former rivals meeting when they're older and both unhappy with their lives). also I saw that later in the year jung so min and jung hae in are doing a romance drama together and I'm curious to see how they'd play out together! also I think eunwoo's new drama and extraordinary attorney woo season 2 are set to release this year (although for eaw it depends on when kang take oh will be released from military service)? I'll definitely check them out

the kdrama that really took me by surprise this year was my lovely boxer. tbh I didn't watch that many kdramas this year because I kind of took a break for like half the year so I let a lot of them pass by but this one caught my attention once I started looking into kdramas again as the dynamic between the leads seemed really compelling and unique and I jumped in and didn't regret it at all, I was hooked! the story isn't light at all but there are many moments of lightness and tenderness (especially between the leads who despite both of their difficult - and even life-threatening for him - situations and completely different lives find in each other a true connection that makes them look forward to more in life)and they really had me screaming over the smallest interaction but they also had a lot of big moments. but I liked a lot of what the show did with the other athletes (all women) and the realities of the world of boxing despite me not caring one bit about boxing so that was impressive as well lol it's only 12 episodes so it's good for a long weekend (why are dramas becoming shorter :((

I was also pleasantly surprised by my lovely liar which to me felt both refreshing and classic (I can really see myself recommending it to someone as a first kdrama) it's got a murder mystery, it's got a heroine with a random power (she can hear lies) and a hero with a dark past who never lies and what I liked most of all was how sweet and nice they were to each other without being mellow or plain, they were just two good people finding something special in each other and helping and trusting each other against all odds

+ castaway diva which I watched solely for park eun bin at first because the synopsis felt very odd and I thought it'd be too light-hearted and comedic but the first episode is sooo different from what I expected (it focused on the teenage years of the two main characters before one of them ends up as a castaway on an island) and it's got much more depth than expected (but I will say it was too short to really do all the depth and trauma of the characters justice - I needed more but since it's only 12 episodes it can also be perfect for a long weekend! ) and the show revealed that park eun bin can sing (like really really sing which of course she can she can do it all it seems)

what about you?

oh wait I forgot the eighth sense!! it's a webdrama so it's quite short but it's very good (and I really liked the directing)

[idkimnotreal]

we need to talk about night elves in warcraft.

(disclamier: i take every lore retcon after warcraft 3 with a lot of grains of salt, and my reasonably canon timeline stops roughly when wod ends. i have reasons for this)

most societies in real life are patriarchal. historians and archaeologists speculate why that is, but nobody knows for certain. some societies are matriarchal, but they are far and in between.

in worldbuilding, i once read something that struck me as very true: if you want to build a world where a matriarchal society exists, there needs to be a reason why women would dominate over men. while matriarchal societies exist in the real world, patriarchal societies are something like 90% of them, so if you're to make use of an exception, you need to explain it. patriarchy is seen as the natural state of things, the status quo, especially in the west, so matriarchy needs to make sense (since in worldbuilding everything that is not like earth needs to be built from scratch. that's what it is). while it's maybe not right that "men are stronger, hence they dominate", it's the idea people in the west have about patriarchy, that while it may not be right, men have ruled women so far in history because they were physically stronger.

so, following that line, if men and women exist in a fictional universe such as they are in our world, but women dominate, the question then becomes: what exists in that world that offsets the physical advantage men have over women?

kaldorei society is a matriarchal one. women rule and men are expected to take on the role of scholars. there isn't such a society in real life, as far as i know (where only women or the dominated sex are scholars, and most importantly, where scholars were separate from priests pre industrial revolution). but it makes sense in fiction. arms and religion in pre-industrial societies were the pillars of power. the fact that only women in kaldorei society are permitted to become priestesses and be sentinels or rangers tells us that, in their society, women are in charge of government, entirely. they're both bureaucrats (priestesses) AND soldiers (sentinels and rangers).

but why does that happen? why is kaldorei society a matriarchal one? because night elves have a very deep connection to the emerald dream. their scholars have to devote quite literally their entire lives to the pursuit of knowledge. and if men are supposed to be the scholars in kaldorei society, then that takes up all of their energy, and the ruling is left to women. i found it surprising, thinking about it, that this is so logical and makes so much sense when they came up with it in the freaking 90s, pre third wave of feminism. and freaking blizzard too, and we know how "egalitarian" their office culture was at the time (bill cosby room etc). they came up with the idea of a society ruled by women that makes sense, that would make sense if it existed in real life (if magic were real too).

since there was no other society in warcraft that practised druidism (taurens only joined/were invited later, and trolls and worgens much later), there wasn't enough time for such changes to take place in their respective societies, or not all male taurens became druids, unlike with the night elves.

it's even up to debate that whether women ruling kaldorei society is a higher role than being a druid. it may be that ruling was left to women because the dream was seen as a much more noble goal. similarly to how politicians aren't the most important pieces in government today, but high ranking businessmen such as ceos. politicians are in charge of government, but they're not the most powerful people. it could be that druids are more powerful than priestesses and sentinels, even though they're not in government. so kaldorei women wield significantly more power than real world women pre 21st century, but still not as much power as real world men did pre 21st century.

see. i find it all so smart. kaldorei society seems so perfectly explainable for a society so different from ours. i know it was always the intention that they seemed very different and mysterious to humans, back in warcraft 3 times. and blizzard did it very well, i think.

[srlkiller]

ive realised that my self esteem & just general ‘sense of self’/love for myself is so awful & low.. horribly dependant & reliant on something or someONE else these days & i absolutely fucking loathe myself for ittttttt bc im beyond self aware.. yet ive jus never been loved my entire life by even my own parents to be shown that im worth a singular fuck so the bar is so low for humans… i seemingly will jus allow the fucking worst bc i guess subconsciously that’s what ive always been taught/shown/drilled into me by my parents to believe that i deserve? wen i know it’s not at all bc literally NO ONE deserves to be treated like shit by another human being. i have trouble saying the words no to other people. i have a lot of trouble just standing up for myself these days.. especially the lonelier i get, the more isolated i have become & older ive gotten. i found comfort in being alone & definitely got to know myself sm better.. then i went thru horrible shit all over again & lost myself completely.. all over again.. & haven’t been able to rebuild myself back up since then.. ive only gone downhill.. over & over & over. i know that I AM the only one that inevitably can help myself & save myself.. i have to do the work & put in the effort etc etc but it’s so hard with absolutely ZERRROOO support system of any kind & feeling like you have nothing & no one.. not one family member.. not one pet.. nothing at all anymore. everything has been ripped from me, taken by force or by death itself. I’ve been broken sm times but now that ive finally been able to let someone in again on some kind of romantic level.. im terrified.. so im letting them jus walk all over me which is the total opposite of who I am & everything i stand for, emulate as a woman & my whole fucking energy as a being. i don’t recognise myself at all so ive totally seperated myself from whoever this is.. the body, the mind.. the soul. i numb every feeling n thought i can.. whenever i can. but wow just having this huge surgery & putting my body under such duress & jeopardy was lowkey such a wake up call bc wtf?! IVE NEVER DONE NO SHIT LIKE FHIS BEFORE FOR ANYONE ELSE?!?! AND FOR WHAATTTT?!?! HE HAD THE PERF OPPORTUNITY TO DO EVERYTHING FHE RIGHT WAY N STILL FUXKED IT UP TO SATISFY HIS OWN SELFISH NEEDS.. so wtf am i doing? what am i doing risking myself for someone like that… i look stupid, feel stupid.. & could get left at any minute which would send me spiraling for someone who is quite frankly… not even close to what i need in a man or what ive ever wanted. im simply cheating myself out of a great self help story.. as i turn 29.. i reach my last year if my 20’s & I’ll b damned if i waste that shit on some young dumb n full of cum mf who doesn’t even give a fuck ab my health in any capacity who is probably lying n doing god knows what behind my back anyway… I seriously just need to put myself first.. just try.. I need to try. bc remember when I did? how proud I was? how it worked? it’s always worked. time to start writing goals n writing shit down again.. as we start approaching this date n it gets closer n closer.. on the 25/11/23 I’ll be 29 yall. it’s the 13/11/23 today. 11 days to get things in order. my goals don’t even need to be big I jus need to get things ‘in order’… ‘ready for 29’ sounds like a cool lil title.. as my bday is pretty much leading into the New Year anyway it’d b cool to get a lil head start on others too. like the needles into my head for alopecia which I have an appt for jus before my bday.. lashes n brows I have that appt for.. i needa get my actual hair done somehow.. before nye!! change my piercings to cold & possibly get another?! more tattoos!! coverup of the Drake matching one for sure. Look into studying pharmacology or some other career pathway course.. possibly something with units I’ve completed already at uni?? i need to write a list.. basically is what I’m saying as some things are more easy fix small goals that are appearance self care based, some are medium level, some are mental, some are spiritual, some are academic, some will take