#how is she so unimportant when even just the way she was introduced back in .. words of radiance maybe? or oathbringer doesnt rly matter

[earlyspringtranscendence]

currently 500 pages into rhythm of war, am enjoying the things im enjoying very deeply (mostly shallan and adolin. and veil and radiant and shallan’s dynamics. and kal but thats easy because he’s my favourite character and besides isn’t even hitting that hard in this one its just that everything he does is everything to me) but so much of it also is just such a slog and idk if it’s me because i usually set aside a day to read like 80% of the book in one go or if it’s the fact that a friend has now also read stormlight and shared some opinions w me that i dont disagree with or if its the book itself but like. navani is such a boring POV character and adolin’s reduction down to his fashion sensibilities is a snore and the bridgemen are practically absent so kal doesn’t even have anyone to endear him even more to me and even venli’s just too like. cautious to have anything going for her. like fr the only person i don’t have any sort of a complaint towards as of rn is shallan

[seetangus]

I love Azula!!! Could you do one where the Reader is part of her little gang and when they go to Omashu for Mai, Azula reacts to R taking care of Tom-Tom. Like she doesn’t understand that it’s heartwarming to see R being good with kids and she knows she’s not, but she still has a random thought in the back of her mind of a “what if this would be what it’s like if we have a family together.”So, she’ll watch as R makes him laugh and even sings him a little lullaby when he starts crying, and, for a second, her calculating and ruthless demeanor changes into a sweet look at the scene and at the thought of a domestic life with R.

Dreaming of Tomorrow - Azula x reader

[Masterlist]

Azula x gn reader, no warnings

1.065 words, this was very fun to write, enjoy! ^^

You arrived in Omashu. Azula, Ty Lee and you went there to find Mai, the last member of the squad Azula wanted to assemble to track down Iroh and Zuko.

You had never met Mai as you only knew Azula since a short time, but you knew she was the daughter of Omashu’s new Governour.

Having arrived in the palace, you were escorted to the private rooms of Mai’s family by guards. Once you were inside and the doors were closed, Azula didn’t wait for any formalities and quickly introduced everyone; you greeted Mai and her parents, the Governour Ukano and his wife Michi, who was holding Mai’s infant brother, Tom-Tom.

You immediately liked them; it was rare but all the more nice to see a happy family in such a high political position.

Michi sat Tom-Tom down in a chair and excused herself and her husband, she said they needed to prepare something.

After they had left, Azula shot a glare at Ty Lee, who immediately began talking to Mai and trying to convince her to join the gang. Azula had instructed Ty Lee that she should try first because Azula knew very well that her usual ways of convincing people might not work on someone like Mai and she expected Ty Lee to have better chances.

You sat down too, not knowing what else to do with Ty Lee talking to Mai and Azula observing them. You looked around the room and noticed Tom-Tom sitting on his chair. He seemed to have noticed you too and looked at you with interested, big eyes. You smiled and waved at him, making him laugh. He stood up and began walking towards you with small, clumsy steps.

When he reached you he lifted his arms up, pointing to you. You picked him up very gently and lifted him up to your lap. He seemed to be very happy and you played with each other for a bit, and somehow it was so nice even for you!

Azula watched Ty Lee and Mai impatiently. Why did this take so long? Couldn’t Ty Lee just say what she wanted to say and convince Mai to come with her? Did she always have to be so sickeningly sweet and first talk about unimportant things like Mai’s family, her health and what her life was like? Azula could not wrap her head around how other people actually enjoyed talking about that kind of stuff. To her, it was torture, but if ‘being nice’ really, like Ty Lee said, would make it more likely to get Mai to agree, she would endure the wait.

She looked around the room to distract herself and her eyes locked on you. Were you holding that infant brother of Mai? What was his name again, Dum-Dum? Tom-Tom? Something like that. Not that she would care about some insignificant baby.

She kept looking at you though. Tom-Tom seemed to be quite happy around you. She had never realised you were so good with kids. That was probably because she had never seen you around kids. Still, something was calming about watching you and Tom-Tom. It was almost heartwarming, and she felt as if she wished she was there with you and the baby…

But why would she want to? She was confused at her thoughts. She was Azula. She was a fighter and not interested in things like babies; all they did was cry and be not useful. Playing with babies was for those weak people who valued shallow ideas like a “loving family” over strength. Her father Ozai was the only one who knew how to handle a baby! That was of course why she was the only baby that had turned into a strong human. Her mother on the other hand… well, she made Zuko. And more or less all people were like that, raising their children to be weak.

That was what she thought. However, watching you care for Tom-Tom…

Her thoughts were interrupted as Tom-Tom, whom you had put on the floor again because he wanted to walk, stumbled and fell! He started crying and you rushed to him, picking him up and rocking him gently. You wiped his tears and started humming a lullaby you remembered from when your parents sang it to you.

After a while, Tom-Tom went silent, and soon after he was already as happy as sunshine again! Ty Lee and Mai had some time ago left the room to talk about something different, but Azula was still looking at Tom-Tom and you, somehow enchanted by what she was witnessing. Her heart felt lighter when watching you and Tom-Tom play.

She had always thought badly of typical families with (loving) weak parents and (happy) spoiled children, but you made it look like a dream… was this what having a family is like? Was this what having a family with you is like? Azula felt strange at the thought. Her heartbeat got a little bit faster. This scene she watched, you playing with Tom-Tom, was something she had never seen before and she suddenly felt like there was more to life than she had thought up until this point. And she felt that she wanted to experience it herself; the joy of parents and children! A different joy than the perfectionist and pressured one she had with her father; she wanted to feel real joy, even if it was this time as a parent and not as a child. But was that even possible for her?

You cared for Tom-Tom so well…you could surely be a good parent if you had children. But could she be one too? Azula looked away, her heart becoming heavy and slow again. She could not. Obviously she couldn’t. When she walked through the streets, peasant parents shielded their children from her. They were all afraid, even the children themselves. She could never be a good parent. maybe she should just stop thinking about it. All these thoughts were making her weak. She shouldn't have considered it in the first place.

But still, the thought of being with you…

She decided to just get out of the room and wait for you. But when she sent a last, longing glance at you and Tom-Tom, she saw you smiling at her, making her heart skip a beat:

“Azula, wanna come over and play with us?”

[miasudare]

THIS ONE IS IMPORTANT!

This is one of my delusional cotl theories, I worked about a few days for it so don't wait too much. It's very long, just so you know

Today, our subject is the bishops. Though in cult of the lamb wiki's story segment states a few events, no evidence and connection is shown. And considering that wiki pages are written by people, it's not a %100 correct.

Death of bishops

Ever wondered why Narinder is the only bishop you can make a follower before Mystic Sellers appearance? Or why don't the bishops end up with Narinder when they die? Let me tell you.

When we kill a bishop, they don't end in the death realm but end up with Mystic. That's why we can only get them back after being introduced to the seller. They own them.

And Narinder? He already lives in the death realm and if you notice, you don't entirely defeat him until the option segment, his life bar still having a bit of hp. You only hurt with him until he can't fight. When you choose to kill him, he then gets sent to Mystic for us to claim him later on.

Mystic's thoughts

"I recall Leshy. Prior to yourself, he was the last to bargain with me. Adept as he was, he rose quickly to the challenges of Godhood, aided by his siblings. Many were drawn to his chaotic ways."

Mystic Seller seems to observe and know everything that had gone through Leshy's godhood even moments of help from his siblings. Tho, not the first godhood.

"I am not inclined to emotion, the way your kind are. Though if I were, Heket would certainly inspire amusement. She was perhaps the most vicious of them. Wicked beast."

No matter how badly the Mystic Seller spoke of Heket's actions, they seem to find sadistic inspiration in her actions. They do not have characteristics such as emotion, but observation expands their world. Which is weird, because that's probably a look you'd wait for Leshy.

"It did not matter to Kallamar that his ears were lost, for he was never inclined to listen. Foolish though he may have seemed, he wielded the power of his Crown without discrimination."

We all know Kallamar's cowardice. But Mystic does not see this as cowardice and even interprets this fear, which has become a self-protection mechanism, as a strategy. Cause Mystic has no emotions and can't understand fear.

"Shamura and I did not barter much. In truth, they need little from me. Truly, 'twas shame what became of them."

Mystic and Shamura seem to actually talk and have a conversation unlike the other siblings Mystic talks about. And Shamura is the only bishop that Mystic sees higher, thinking that Shamura didn't need them at all.

"A toy for you. Benefactor, comrade, malignant foe... redemption or punishment, 'tis yours to confer as you see fit." Gifts you Narinder as a Follower in his exclusive Follower Form. (Without the immortal trait)

This section is important because Mystic doesn't say anything about Narinder's past. While they normally talk about an event that happened in his siblings' own lives, Narinder doesn't seem to mean much to them. They neither belittle him nor exalt him. Narinder is very unimportant to them.

Now, I'd like to think that Mystic were there. Before the whole argument, it wasn't only the 5 bishops. Mystic saw it, Mystic heard it. Maybe even lived with them. Raised them, even. Mystic Seller, is the creator of them. Yeah. I said it. God of gods. How else can you explain him just replace the very gods you killed and put them back in their purged realms? Or idk, carry the ex god of death by their little tiny winy legs? Literally posses the body of the new god??? Tho, it seems like they are not the same realms anymore as if those places were... Altered.

Shamura. Wanna talk?

Shamura is both refered to as the god of war and god of might, which are quite the opposite of each other.

War, is something that grows from misunderstandings, greed and not thinking straight, which isn't very fit for god of might. And well, that made me think... I think... The bishops didn't/was supposed to have these roles before their fight with Narinder.

"I am not what I once was. Though no longer wise, I am no fool."

Shamura is aware that they are no longer the god of might, yet something another.

So this might mean, before the betrayal, the bishops had opposite godhoods. Or were supposed to have these godhoods.

Kallamar = God of health

Heket = Goddess of abundance

Leshy = God of peace

This makes sense when you consider the people that follow them. Why would someone follow a god who just means nothing but trouble? Even in our cult, we teach people about death and after life, reassure them or teach them. We make sense.

"I introduced him to ideas of change; for my domain is knowledge, and it is ever evolving. An organic state of being for myself, but for him… most unnatural. Death cannot flow backward." -Shamura

This. That green? Yeah that one. That's when Narinder's betrayal happened. Shamura, showed Narinder that there was a way to change things, which Narinder ended up doing so. And what did he do? Death cannot flow backward, he tried to give life. Narinder, the only member in the family that probably ended up with such negative thing as being the god of death, tried to make life.

"Bonds of familial duty, turned instead to chains. Most voracious of appetites, curbed and contained. Most infectious of ideas cut off and cauterised before given chance to rot and spread. Cruel, verily. Alas, what other recourse was given? How does one kill Death? ... Alas. One cannot." -Haro

Haro also seems to confirm this. The infectious ideas said there are, or rather is, Narinder's wish to change. Narinder's idea to change his own godhood. Tho, why would the bishops be so against it?

Notice how Haro has a "fallen" crown? Haro, probably back in the day, was the owner/god of Darkwood at some point. His unused animation also looks a lot like Leshy's transformation animation.

Haro, is possibly the first god that tried to change their godhood. In return, he got punished by loosing his crown and getting expelled from his godhood. This would explain why Leshy is the youngest, because he was a replacement.

"But as millennia wore on, he grew discontent with his role. He began to question. He was gluttonous in his ambition. And in my imprudence I loved him. For it, I lost my mind. For it, he lost his freedom. Can you fathom such betrayal, Lamb?"

Shamura knew what happened to Haro. After showing Narinder that there was a way to change things, they regretted it. Shamura genuinely loved their brother, no matter if it was by blood or by creator. The idea of Narinder might end up like Haro was what made Shamura loose their mind. Killing Narinder wasn't a punishment, it was a way to protect him and the remaining ones. The betrayal Shamura say is not Narinder's hostile acts but rather the way he thinks even tho Shamura had warned him.

Now, i know. I said that Mystic knew it and saw it and blah blah. But Mystic were there after Leshy lost his eye, Heket lost her throat and until Narinder's imprisonment. We can understand this from their dialog of witnessing Leshy and Heket's godhood and them saying "It's a shame what become of them" for Shamura is their disappointment of knowing someone like Shamura have ended up like this (Explained at timeline section)

Haro what do you have to say?

"Eons agone, these lands were rife with gods and their adherents. What befell this pantheon? Alas. 'Tis the nature of beasts to forget, and of Gods to be forgotten. Mayhap they left. Mayhap they slept. Mayhap they devoured and were devoured in turn. Those few who remained spread roots, spun webs, molded this world to meet them and theirs. 'Twere a land of many Gods once. Hundreds. Now..."

(the ones below are theories I can't really prove)

1-Haro, was probably the oldest, along with Shamura, god. He might be one of Mystic's first creation.

2-Haro seems to be talking about fox. Or kinda refers to him. The fox is known for taking Ratau, eating him. So this also makes the fox, or people like the fox known and been around.

3-Hundreds of gods, he says. Currently, we only have 10 (At the bottom) So, there was a class fight.

A little thing about Narinder and the twins. Heaven and hell, does in fact exist in the cotl universe. You can see it in the ascension and sacrifice rituals. Going above and going below. Fly to heaven and dragged to hell.

Which means dead souls are being sorted. Considering the fact that Narinder is restricted to move anywhere, that job ends up with the twins. Baal, obviously with his kind and respectful attitude, works in heaven. Aym, on the other hand, is very aggressive and intimidating so works in hell.

Timeline

A hundred gods, roamed on realms. For various reasons, they died of or how I like to refer, ended up in Mystic's hands.

Mystic created Shamura, Haro, Kallamar and Narinder. Understood them, talked with them.

Allocer and Astaroth were given to Shamura then to Kallamar, to encourage them into godhood and cult culture.

Heket was created, tho wasn't crowned.

Haro lost his godhood by disobeying, altering. This lead to the creation of Leshy.

After creation of Leshy, Mystic was not there to attend and see Leshy and Heket stepping into godhood.

Shamura took care of his siblings and helped them into godhood. Tho it's questionable on how good they managed that.

Agares and Bathin was given by Shamura to Heket and Leshy, to teach them about the same culture.

Shamura introduced Narinder to idea of change. Narinder refused his role as god of death and tried to be god of life.

Shamura knew what would happen to Narinder if the crown giver, Mystic Seller, learned about this. This caused an argument, most likely because Narinder believed that Haro was judged unfairly. So, there it came "see no evil, say no evil, hear no evil, think no evil"

The siblings lost their original godhoods. "If that's my destiny, you're coming down with me" kind of stuff.

Leshy and Heket stepped into godhood by the help of Shamura and Kallamar to be able to protect themselves. (Their rapid transition to godhood explains why they were defeated more easily than Kallamar and Shamura. They are inexperienced gods. If you notice, after the battle of Heket, Kallamar's battle is actually surprisingly difficult and fast.)

Witnesses hid in respective realms.

Mystic Seller came back. Narinder was not present yet what he left behind was. He saw the other bishops. Mystic Seller knew Heket and Leshy as the gods they were know. Not as what they were supposed to be. 

"Five points to a pentagram, five portents of doom, five siblings stood abreast, five gods and one tomb..." Shamura's summarizing of the whole story. Their family and how it doomed. How the remaining bishops and Mystic had to kill Narinder and trap him in after life, the gateway being his tomb.

Shamura learned about the prophecy after a few centuries or more. That lead to the geno¢ide of sheep.

The gateway/tomb of Narinder before defeating bishops. 5 chains, gray ones belonging to bishops and golden one belonging to Mystic Seller.

A basic classification of the types of deities that we have in cotl:

Mystic Seller: Creator, above gods

Mystic Seller's guards: Deities that exist out time and space and work along Mystic Seller, above gods

Narinder: God of death

Shamura: God of war (formerly god of might)

Kallamar: God of pestilence (formerly health)

Heket: Goddess of famine (formerly abundance)

Leshy: God of chaos (formerly peace)

Aym: Disciple of Narinder, demigod (guider of sinners)

Baal: Disciple of Narinder, demigod (guider of winners)

Haro: Ex god, currently a messenger

Chemach: Eldritch Goddess, One of the oldest remaining Goddess. [She (yes Chemach is a girl) has an Eldritch crown and the crown has eyes. Just like the bishops'. This makes her a god considering her ability to turn living into power, essence and remnant to be used for something else afterwards. (relics)]

Clauneck and Kudaii: Gifted with immortality possibly by their sister, or are gods.

Midas: Golden touch asshole king

The fox: Most likely a demon/god from underworld, considering his soul deals and Haro's dialog.

Ratoo: I can't class him but considering he is living without a whole ass organ and still stays alive, he isn't mortal

Nah, it's just what I think of course also, please check my witness theory and Possession too!

If you want to add to this theory, you can by doing a reblog. I'm preparing a crown theory too, so this is kind of a part one! If this gets popular, I might make a video for it, who knows ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

[queenie-ofthe-void]

A Desperate Fool - Part 8

Part 7

Last time: Nancy finishes filling Eddie in on what he's missed

~~~

“Ok, Wheeler,” Eddie says a little too loud. He claps his hands together and rubs them back and forth, hoping the friction and heat will help him burn away his anxious energy. It all comes down to this. He’s dreading and anticipating the conversation in equal measure, so it’s better to rip the band aid off sooner rather than later. After all, Nancy was right. He came all this way for answers only she could give him. “Tell me about her.”

She sighs, like she’s been gearing up for this part of the conversation. "I introduced them in July, but they've known each other for a while. It took me a bit to convince Steve to agree to a date, but Becky was so head over heels for him that–"

"Wait," Eddie cuts her off. He repositions himself so his legs are tucked under him, curled up against his corner of the couch. Nancy changes her position and mirrors him. "Becky? As in, the Becky you work with? As in the Becky I just met earlier today? That Becky."

Guilt flashes across Nancy's face before she tucks it away again. She sits up a little straighter and yeah, now Eddie's ready to start an argument. He feels like a complete idiot. No wonder Nancy looked so uncomfortable while the woman was here, she clearly wasn't planning on Eddie crossing paths with her. Becky seemed awkward, but in a normal sort of way. Like she didn’t even know–.

"Oh shit," Eddie says absently, "she doesn't know who I am, does she?"

Nancy sighs, shaking her head, "no, she doesn't know about you." Her eyebrows scrunch, and she wiggles her hand back and forth, like maybe she's backtracking a bit. "She knows you're mine and Mike's half brother." Nancy holds up a finger, ticking off each fact about his existence, the only pieces of him that matter anymore. "She knows you're a rock star. She knows you're estranged on bad terms with Mike and I. That's why she thinks no one talks about you."

"And what?" Eddie gets up, burning off the energy by pacing around the room, waving his arms and generally making himself larger to gain some space. Big and scary and dramatic enough to chase his problems away when he's afraid. "They’ve been seeing each other for more than six months. They’re fucking engaged, and somehow no one's ever mentioned that Steve and I were together? Not a single person has ever slipped up?"

"Eddie, other than Mike and I, no one mentions you at all. Ever."

He freezes, mouth dropped open to argue, arms raised with angry emphasis. His initial burst of energy now kindling into a fury, all but snuffed out by a simple sentence. His body slumps to the floor, and Eddie wants to cry, to release the disgusting sense of rejection by his own family. Except it seems they only support his Angel. No sympathy for the devil, and all that.

"It's like I never existed?"

"I told you," Nancy says softly, reaching out to cup his cheek. He hadn't noticed her move, crouched next to him on the floor. There's pity in the thin line of her lips and disappointment in the creases of her brow. "Steve asked us not to, so we didn't. It was the least we could do to help."

Eddie nods his head, a hollow agreement if only to get Nancy to stop talking. Let him take a breath to process. How is he meant to react when she makes it sound so easy to forget him. Easy enough to pretend his life with Steve meant nothing at all, so unimportant that Steve’s spending the rest of his life with someone who’s missing eight years worth of information. And apparently everyone’s just ok with that.

~~~

Part 9

Tag List!!!

@sadisticaltarts @5ammi90 @blacklegsanji21 @jaytriesstrangerthings @thewickedkat

@stripey82

[rapha-reads]

I tried to resist the urge but at the end of the day ranting about Romeo and Juliet is my most favourite thing to do, and ranting about vampires is also in my top 10 regular hobbies, so...

Louis, Lestat, Armand and Balthasar, or, a R&J x IWTV unplanned rant.

Under the "read more" because it got long.

Balthasar is introduced in the play as "Romeo's man", often modernised in various adaptations as his valet or his page. The footnote in The Arden Shakespeare 2012 edition states that:

"Shakespeare introduced the name for the part in the play, though it is not, of course, his invention. The name, which is also found in Comedy Of Errors, Merchant of Venice and Much Ado, occurs only once in the text of R&J, even though the character speaks nearly 30 lines in the final act."

Three things from that only: it's a common enough name, at least in Shakespearian texts, that the character could be switched for another one; he's so inconsequential that he barely even managed to make his name known ; yet despite his apparent unimportance, his role at the end is extremely crucial in closing in the tragedy.

What lines does Balthasar speaks and whom does he speak to throughout the play?

Man waits until Act III scene 1 to make his entrance. Given his function as Romeo's man, you'd think he'd be a bit more present before that point, but no, Balthy waits until everything's gone bad to arrive like "Grandma, it's me".

Romeo asks him "How doth my Juliet? That I ask again, / For nothing can be ill if she is well." The beginning of his answer could lead you to think that he's about to lie so that Romeo can still be "all well", but, naaaah, sike, he's here to deliver news and he's going to do his job. And the way he does it doesn't leave any details to the imagination:

"Then she is well and nothing can be ill. Her body sleeps in Capel's monument, And her immortal soul part with angels lives. I saw her laid low in her kindred's vault, And presently took post to tell it to you. O, pardon me for bringing these ill news, Since you did leave it for my office, sir."

"Her immortal soul"... We'll come back to that point when we'll get to the vampires. Interesting to note that he says he saw with his own eyes Jules' laid down in the Capulet's tomb, but there's no indication in the text prior to that line that he really did. Some stage adaptations have Balthasar lurking around as Capulet and Cie put her in it, most movies totally ignore Balthasar's entire role - which I will come back to in the second part too. In a way, one could think that Balthy didn't see anything, he just heard the news like any other Veronese people, and didn't wait for more information or even actual confirmation and hurried on ("took post") to tell his master. Which, he does say it himself, that's his job, to keep Romeo informed of the going-ons of Verona in general and Juliet in particular. But, man, what are your sources, actually? Whose your informant? What authenticity does your information have, except from "source: myself"?

And then homeboy has the audacity to tell a desperate and ready to commit all kinds of violence Romeo to "have patience. / Your looks are pale and wild, and do import / Some misadventure." You think?? After this we lose track of Balthy while Romeo goes soliloquising looking for his cuppa poison. ... I don't want to tell you how to do your job, Balthy, but aren't you supposed to always follow your master closely...? How are you losing him so easily? Well, to be fair to him, Romeo does send him to "hire those horses", but that's a really thin excuse.

Balthasar reappears then in the Comedy of Situations that is "everybody and their mothers come visit Juliet's body" (you know, Warm Bodies did have a point; the zombies and necrophilia jokes do write themselves). First he enters with Romeo, and then for once shows some working brain cells when Romeo tells him to peace out and he tells himself "For all the same, I'll hide me hereabout. / His looks I fear, and his intents I doubt." Yes, thank you Balthy, maybe stay inside the crypt itself... Nope, okay, I don't know where he hid but Paris "14yo is perfectly acceptable to marry when I'm 30" Escalus makes his own appearance unbothered and unstopped. Great scouting skills there. Granted, he was the first on the scene actually, but if Balthy really hid close by, he should have witnessed the altercation and maaaaybe stop it. But no. I think he's having a drink with Paris' page. Current body count: 3 (yeah, Juliet's not dead yet, for those following).

Then Friar Laurence arrives on the scene. Oh, hello, Friar My-Ideas-Will-Definitely-Work-Trust-Me-Bro. Balthy emerges from the shadows (from where? Who knows, not me and certainly not Willie the Bard himself; homeboy was lurking, planning the best moment to reappear to create maximum chaos I guess). Their discussion goes something like this:

Laurie: who're you? Balthy: come on bro, you know me. Laurie: oh, hey Balth, so nice to see you? But what the heck are you doing here? Balthy: yeah I'm here with Romeo that fail emo lord lol. Laurie: Romeo? Whaaaat? How long has he been here? Balthy: eeh, 30 minutes? Maybe 45? Dunno but it's been a while. Laurie: Jesus fucking H Christ, okay, let's get into the fucking crypt. Balthy: no thanks, without me. I told Romeo I was leaving and if he sees me still here he's going to break my neck. Laurie: ugh, fine, you coward. I'll go alone and I'm not even afraid. Actually I lied I'm scared out of my mind but I'm better than you so nah! I'm going in. Balthy, walking away: oh yeah, another thing, I was napping, ahem, keeping watch, and I think I dreamed, I mean, hallucinated Romeo killing another dude. But I don't think that's real. Anyway, hasta la vista, losers! [Exit] (sadly not pursued by a bear)

I paraphrased, naturally. And... That's Balthasar's last lines. So to recap: he's supposedly Romeo's man, hence, by his job's function, supposed to always be with him and protect him; he only appears at the end of the story to make sure that no one else can get to Romeo first and maybe tell him about Laurence's plot. He always says he's going to keep an eye on Romeo, or tries to get him to stop, but actually never does anything. Literally, by his own admission, while he's supposed to make sure Romeo doesn't do anything drastic visiting Juliet's tomb, he took a nap: "As I did sleep under this yew tree here"! And the only two people he speaks to are Romeo, whose sole purpose at this point is to die, and Friar Laurence, whose role is to fake-kill Juliet, which leads to both of them dying.

Given all of those elements, one could then consider Balthasar's role in the play as an agent of Death. Death being a character in Her own right in the play, according to some readings (I admit, the idea of Death being the one pulling the strings as Fate would do is something I very much like but is very much inspired by the French musical).

So. Balthasar, agent of Death, purposefully or accidentally, but undeniably, leading the main character to his own death and carefully not stopping nor even interacting with characters who could stop the final act.

And that's who Louis-as-Lestat compares HIMSELF to. Yeah, Louis calls himself Balthasar, let that sink in. So, spoiler alert for those like me who haven't read the books, but Armand later on is going to lie and tell Louis that Lestat died in the fire that burned down the theatre, lie that Louis will totally believe and that will certainly influence the decades of his relationship with Armand. We know Louis is absolutely not over Lestat, we know Lestat is weak at this point, and wants to scare Louis but also get him back, and we know Armand is a lying liar who lies and twist the truth to better serves him. And we know Armand was jilted by Lestat and while he (genuinely?) loves Louis, he's also bitter that Louis got what he himself couldn't get. We also know that Louis is extremely conflicted by his vampiric nature, that he's a stone cold killer but he's also constantly trying to get away from it, that he hates himself and all vampires but also hates humans and all of humanity. We know Louis feels immense guilt at what he thinks is Lestat's murder, and that this guilt is weighing on him enought hat he conjures up a mental Lestat to follow him around and sass, bitch, moan, comment and critique for him.

So, why is it interesting that Dreamstat calls Louis a Balthasar?

Let's go back to two points already evoked earlier. Balthasar makes a point of mentioning Juliet's immortal soul - in the text, it's evident enough, they're Catholics, Heaven, Hell, bla bla bla. Transposed to the idea of vampires, it does lead one to question first if vampires have souls, secondly, what are the limits of immortality. It links to Louis' questioning of his faith, the morals that he fiercely defends but abandons rather quickly when they don't suit him anymore, and his survivor's guilt vis-à-vis his brother first and Lestat secondly.

The second thing is the way Balthasar is generally erased from the known Romeo and Juliet narrative. From an intradiegetic POV, Louis could mean it as "I'm Balthasar because this story is not my story, I barely even appear, only at the very end, and even then, I'm not important, and I certainly do not want to be the focus of attention" (which could also be linked to the coven complaining that Louis hunts sloppily and will expose them all, and that's actually a point in the Death's emissary column, huh). From an extradiegetic POV, the writers might have chosen to compare Louis to Balthasar because in most screen adaptations, the first part of his role is given to Benvolio (announcing Juliet's death) and the second part (talking with Laurie) is totally erased. Which means that people who haven't read the play (or have but aren't totally obsessed with it *cough cough*) and only know the story through the movies or the musical, would have NO idea who Balthasar is. And that's what Louis tries to be: a nobody, a Monsieur-Tout-Le-Monde, unimportant, invisible, unknown. The way Balthasar is for everybody. Quasi inexisting.

And the final part of the parallel, and that one is definitely extradiegetic, is that Louis brings Death wherever he goes (although maybe in a way, after Lestat and the woman vampire in Romania, Louis thinks that of himself too, but let's not go there just yet). His arrival in Paris is what disturbs the equilibrium of the coven, makes Armand questions what he's doing here and how long he can keep going like this, drives Claudia even more away from him, and intensifies the resentment and inner conflicts of the coven. Which will all lead to the theatre burning dow, the coven dying, Claudia dying, Lestat presumed dead and 70 years of toxic married Loumand. Unintentionally, the way Balthasar seemingly unintentionally too, doesn't protect Romeo, which leads to not only his and Juliet's but also Tybalt and Mercutio's deaths (and Paris too). Unintenionally, but who's pulling Balthasar's strings, Death, Fate itself? Who's pulling Louis' strings? Armand? Lestat? Or is he such an unreliable narrator that he's passing himself as a victim of circumstances while the reality is that he's fully aware of what he's doing...? To be determined.

If you've made it to here, thank you so much and don't hesitate to tell me what you think! You can find my Tybalt/Mercutio fic here, and my essay on adaptations of Tybalt and Mercutio on screen here.

[aceofnace]

Nancy’s Feelings for Ace

Nancy told Ace that the first time she realized she had feelings for him was during the dreamscape with the wraith, because that was her official “oh” moment, but as a viewer we know she had feelings for him long before that, even if she didn’t know it. The first real signs for us were her obvious jelly feelings as she watched Ace flirt with Amanda in 2x07 and her mind immediately jumping to Ace when she heard the sentence “the one with the pretty eyes” in 2x08. But really, it goes even further back than that.

Nick asking Ace in the last episode if it was ever really only friendship and nothing more between him and Nancy got me thinking back to the very beginning. And to be honest, I don’t think it ever was only friendship. For either one of them.

We know now that Ace had a crush on Nancy in high school. So naturally, when she started working at The Claw, that crush returned right away (even if he also had a crush on Bess at the time). And we know Nancy met Nick and it was lust at first sight and she immediately embarked on a physical relationship with him soon after. This all happened before the show began. What else happened before the show began and it’s one of the first things Nancy tells us about Ace when her narration introduces us to him?

The smoke break.

Upon first viewing, it feels like an unimportant throwaway line. A piece of information that could just as easily have been left out. But it wasn’t. Why? Because I think that smoke break, a moment we’ve never gotten to see, was when Nancy’s feelings for Ace actually started.

Think about it for a second. We know that Nancy has always found Ace attractive. When she hears the term “pretty eyes”, she’s like “Who, Ace?” When she’s under the spell of a lust dress, she lets it slip out that she’s always imagined how soft his hair would be. In as early as episode 1x02, she’s placing a hand on his shoulder for no reason while she talks and she doesn’t let go until she’s done. He may not have necessarily been on her radar in high school like she was on his, but he certainly was as soon as she started working at The Claw.

So, now that we have obvious physical attraction out of the way, that smoke break. We know very little about it. The most of what we do know about it is made up from the minds of countless fans who’ve written their own fan fic version of it (myself included). But the one canon thing about it, the thing Nancy told us herself, was that he didn’t judge her for tanking her grades after her mom died. And how did he even know about that? Because she told him.

Nancy Drew, who at the start of the show was the queen of high emotional walls who didn’t like divulging personal information to anyone, divulged some pretty personal information to this boy she barely knew (and even though it’s never discussed again, there’s a pretty good chance that wasn’t the only smoke break they ever spent together). Meanwhile, she was hooking up with Nick and even sorta calling herself his girlfriend, but any time he tried to get her to open up and talk about anything, she shut him down immediately.

I feel like this is something that should be discussed more. The fact that she was able to so quickly and comfortably share stuff like this with Ace and nobody else is a huge deal. And in the beginning, it’s completely overlooked because Nancy’s love interest was Nick, and then after they broke up, Owen was next in line. For most of season one, she did not outwardly show any significant interest in Ace as anything more than a stranger–turned–co-worker–turned–sleuthing buddy–turned–close friend. But that interest was there.

And why wouldn’t it be? As I already mentioned, Nancy was always physically attracted to Ace. She knew from before the show began that he was a good listener and easy to talk to. And then early on when she learned about his hacking abilities, she saw how smart he was. Soon after that, she learned how loyal and dedicated he was. The boy risked his entire future to break her father out of prison, and he did so without her even asking him to. He willingly drank what could’ve been poison to prove she was right and to keep her from getting arrested. Every time she called, he answered. Every time she needed help or needed a favor, he delivered. How could she not possibly fall for him?

So, she did fall for him. Most likely even in season one. It was evident during the library scene where they were reading Ryan and Lucy’s emails out loud. Hearing Ace say things like “I think I love you too” and “I want to be with you, I don’t care what anyone else says” made her feel something, hence the look the two of them share afterward. But here’s the thing: if Nancy recognized that feeling at all, she would have shoved it down so far and so fast because that feeling was something real. Something more than she was used to feeling. And that scared her.

Nick was a distraction from the grief over her mother’s death. Owen was also a distraction from that grief, as well as from her break-up with Nick. Ace wasn’t a distraction. He was a friend. A confidant. Someone she could rely on. Someone she could count on under any circumstances. This kind of relationship with a guy was one she wasn’t accustomed to. And she knew that it could someday lead to something more serious—something she most definitely wasn’t ready for.

In 2x10, while under the spell of the lust dress, Nancy theorized out loud that perhaps the dress was intensifying feelings of attraction she already had but was repressing, and she said it while turning and looking directly at Ace. Keep in mind that (somehow) 2x10 in the timeline is not that far from where they were in season one, so to assume those repressed feelings started in season one is not that much of a stretch. And looking back, even starting within the first few episodes of the series, you can clearly see she has always been drawn to him in a very subconscious way. She would always stand so close their arms would almost touch. She would lean closely over his shoulder when he was on his laptop, their faces sometimes only mere inches apart. She would practically bump into him while walking side-by-side. She’s always had this unrealized need to be near him. To be close to him. And he’s the only one. I challenge anyone to find scenes that show her casually existing so closely next to Nick, Owen, Gil, Park or even now Tristan. You can’t. Because they don’t exist.

And this makes sense. Canonically, they are soulmates. And that would explain why Ace could simply see her make a volcano erupt in high school and develop feelings for her. It would explain why since day one, Nancy has had a bond with Ace that she’s never had with anyone else. And I know the writers say that Nace wasn’t the plan from the beginning, and I do believe that, but somehow, they inadvertently set it up perfectly for these characters to end up in the situation they’re in right now: desperately in love and desperate to be together. They are each other’s person. And they always have been from the very start.

To go back to what they were before would just be staying the same. They’ve never been just friends. And the sooner Ace can admit that to himself, the sooner they can get back to trying to break that curse and securing their future together.

[pbear]

Ranking The Black Bulls

I am so high after finishing the Black Clover anime which is why I'm making this. This is definitely a personal list and I just want a way for me to talk about these characters because I do love all of them.

Also, some spoilers.

16. Nacht and his demons

Little screen time and he’s extremely suspicious. Also if you keep going around being condescending to everyone I won’t like you.

I do not know his backstory which could definitely explain things but based on what he gets in the anime, I don’t care for him.

Pros are that he’s a pretty asshole and his tiny demons are cute.

15. Liebe

Lack of screen time gets you closer to the bottom.

That backstory was making me tear up though.

He gained anti-magic but how??? It kind of just happened.

He has a place in the found family whether he likes it or not.

14. Gordon Agrippa

I like that he just wants friends despite everyone thinking he’s creepy and being part of a family that studies curses.

He gets forgotten a lot :(

Actually a character who comes to have a healthy relationship with his family

He is shown to be kind of a stalker though which docks points. There's people being unreasonably scared of you and then there's keeping journals on everyone in the squad and making dolls of each of them.

13. Zora Ideale

Gets almost no character development after his introduction. They have forgotten this man which is a shame because he was introduced as a very interesting and menacing person.

His relationship with his father is very sweet

Sassy

Zora, you will succumb to the found family.

12. Henry Legolant

Him going from a possible ghost to a true member of the Black Bulls is great. I love that the squad finds a way for him to be around them even with his curse

He’s very nice too.

Doesn’t get a lot after the Elven Invasion arc. All you see is him occasionally sitting in a box.

His magic is so epic when it gets used. I love the Raging Black Bull Formation.

11. Vanessa Enoteca

Doesn’t actually get too much to do after the Forest of Witches arc.

I love that she’s basically the squad’s big sister.

Her magic and the red thread of fate are super cool although Rouge kind of becomes her main power.

10. Grey

I really enjoyed the episodes that focused on her a lot and how she wants to overcome her shyness for the rest of the Black Bulls.

Her backstory is fairly basic but the reveal that she met Gauche beforehand and he saved her was so good. I already loved them and now I love them even more.

Also, Grey, Gordon, and Gauche are absolutely a trio. Them defending the base from the Eye of the Midnight Sun was great.

9. Secre Swallowtail

Her plot with Lumiere is very sweet and gets you to like her very quickly.

Lumiere helping her develop her magic that she thinks is useless is something I love too.

I like that she’s an example that your magic is what you make of it. What it becomes is so cool and actually very useful.

The fact that even after her seal is undone, she still chills as a bird on Asta's head.

Also, I think it's interesting that Luck is the one who came up with the name Nero and she agreed to it back in the earlier episodes.

8. Gauche Adlai

This man would be ten times more attractive without his sister complex. Fortunately, his gag isn’t his only character aspect (although it’s a fairly big one).

I actually thought he was going to be super unimportant and then he got his own arc early on which shocked me.

It was nice that he began wanting to protect more people than just Marie. I actually started to enjoy it when he showed up.

His magic is cool and powerful. I think it was one of the first magic types introduced that wasn't more elemental. I want to know how he got the magic item in his eye.

Berates everyone but is literally just as insane as the rest of them.

7. Charmy Pappitson

Slow clap for her magic literally being a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Her sheep cooks are cute too.

Obsessed with food (same) and I thought it might be a gag that makes her annoying, but she has other aspects that make her interesting and she’s a side character so I’m not asking that she be incredibly deep.

Her crush on Yuno is funny and I love that her magic is actually super strong when she tries. I never thought one of the crush situations would be Rill -> Charmy -> Yuno

6. Noelle Silva

Seeing her growth from the start of the series is amazing.

Tsundere but manages to not be super annoying with it.

Her spells are awesome and every time she learns a new one you want to cheer for her.

Valkyrie Armor is so pretty.

5. Asta

The fact that he inspires everyone around him is incredible.

I think that he’s the final piece of the Black Bulls that pulls them together and brings them from a band of hooligans to a true found family.

Has a surprising number of girls in love with him. Yet he is only dedicated to Sister Lily which I do find funny.

He does a great job at being a protagonist you want to root for which is important in a show like this. Everyone likes him so how can you not like him?

4. Finral Roulacase

There is something to be said about characters that are still nice even though the world keeps throwing things at them.

Finral’s family was never nice to him yet he still came out a kind person and that’s beautiful. The fact that he still cares for Langris really shows that.

Although he tends to run away from his problems, he works to face them as the series goes on and become stronger to fight alongside his friends.

I love his hairstyle change so much for some reason. He's so cute.

3. Yami Sukehiro

The man who adopted like thirteen kids.

I really enjoyed how his experience as a foreigner led him to create a squad that wouldn’t be bound by status or discrimination.

He literally picks up new members randomly off the street.

Despite being seemingly irresponsible compared to other Captains, he cares for his squad and wants them to be better and surpass their limits. He also knows what they are capable of and what they can handle.

2. Magna Swing

He's one of the most passionate of the Black Bulls and that makes him stand out despite him not being the strongest.

He does have magic but a lot of the time his abilities pale in comparison to the others’.

Even then, he tries to get stronger and I love that about him.

I also really like that his fire magic has a baseball theme. It makes it more unique because fire magic is so common.

I love watching him and Luck be dumbasses with each other.

More attractive with his hair down during the Elven Invasion.

Luck Voltia

Easy favorite. I cannot explain why exactly but he is my favorite.

I eat up any screen time he gets.

Luck: *murders someone in a fight*

Me: I love you so much

He’s crazy in wanting to fight almost everyone that comes his way but it’s shown that he is smart in battle too.

I like how everyone else has a case for their grimoire and he just straps it to his chest.

[blond-jerk-tourney]

Strawberry Bracket: Semifinals, Poll 1

Propaganda from submitters Under Cut

Kuusuke Saiki

Threatened to reveal his brothers psychic powers to the world via live stream if didn’t complete a series of tasks that I would consider to be shitty saw traps all to reveal a birthday cake and some birthday wishes. Dude’s got issues

He’s also a teaboo

He is blonde and he is such a prick. Absolute jerk. Such an honest to god bitch.

Kuusuke that bitch. He's such a fucking dickwad I hate thisan so much. I am an avid hater of blondes but this vile piece of shit takes the cake. Dude plays psychological warfare games on his brother and acts all but hurt that he's not always the smartest guy in the room. He's like if Albert Einstein was also the guy from saw. Except unlike the guy from saw he directs all of his hatred towards Kusuo (his brother). He treats every member of his family like dogshit and has a God complex that is threatened by the mere existence of his brother. Which yeah, sure, I get that it can be hard to be praised for something your whole life only for it to be immediately made unimportant by your little brother with psychic powers, but Christ on a cracker! No need to spend your entire life but hurt about it

please consider kuusuke is a flaming faggot.

Did i mention that kuusuke enslaved a town of old people that included his own grandparents? Cause he did that.

Nanami Kiryuu

She's the mean girl of the show, and a pretty interesting take on the "bitchy vain school rival of the protagonist" trope. She spends most of her early screentime being a bully and most of her later screentime being both the biggest loser imaginable and deeply sad/troubled (which still does not erase how much of an asshole she can be). She even laughs like your stereotypical mean rich girl. Nanami has so many problems and sucks so so bad. I adore her.

Shes a psychotic bully who seeks to ruin the lives and reputations of any girl who gets more of her brothers attention than she does. Reasons Nanami Kiryuu deserves to win: - she has made many attempts at physical and psychological terrorism against Anthy Himemiya (including a plotted wardrobe malfunction at a crowded social gathering) simply for drawing more of her brother's attention than her - tried to fill Anthy's bedroom with wild animals (a snail, a snake, and a live octopus) to make her out to be a freak only to find that her room was already full of wild animals - she bankrolled an elementary schoolers crush on her to turn him into her personal boyservant - briefly non-personed a member of her bully entourage for sharing an umbrella with her brother - received a luxury cowbell due to a shipping error and smugly wore it to school for weeks flaunting it like high coture - when her bully entourage rebelled against her due to her brothers manipulation she brought them back in line by just straight up beating the shit out of all of them - all in all just a petty, goonish motherfucker (she also does the ohohohohoho anime girl laugh)

she's blond: despite being Japanese her hair is yellow, unlike her brother's. yellow is even her image color. she's a jerk: introduced as a jealous and dishonest scheming bully, she is one of the more outwardly antagonistic characters in a cast where pretty much everyone is a Real Piece Of Work she's the best: the quintessential ohoho-laughing ojou, her fully-realized character arc makes people both laugh and cry even her sidekick is a blond jerk! how many blond jerks have their own blond jerk sidekick?

i don't know what you've heard but she's NOT the kind of girl who lays eggs!

The token mean rich girl of the franchise. Does the classic "ohohoho" laugh. Doesn't like either of our main characters. She never actually seems to get her way, and secretly has a lot of her own problems. also she lays eggs and turns into a cow

Absolutely THE quintessential anime mean girl. I mean literally her laughing is THE meme for the hohohoho anime laugh. Needs attention So Badly and straight up bullies anyone she deems a threat to that (so basically Everyone). I haven’t finished RGU but apparently she duels with the intent to kill and drowned a kitten once because it was taking up too much of her brother’s attention? Also she’s 13 which explains a lot

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

I had one of my most brilliant Titans revelations today

a huge overarching theme of Season 3 and Titans at large:

Be Better Than Your Parents aka The 51% Rule

The episode titles of Titans are always something I find utterly fucking fascinating and so well chosen - like how the episode where Hank and Dawn are introduced is called 'Hawk and Dove' (because they are struggling with their hero identities and considering quitting), and the episode with their backstories is called 'Hank and Dawn' - because we get to know the real them, and the episode where Hank dies is called Hank & Dove - because Dawn is wearing her costume, trying her hardest to save Hank when the bomb goes off, and Hank is stripped down and completely vulnerable (and because Hank was trying to retire and he only came back to the Titans lifestyle because Dawn was continuing on as Dove).

51% is an episode that I fucking love as a title and as an episode overall, and I love how it speaks to the theme of the show overall

if you don't remember the specific episode or where the title comes from, let me catch you up. Blackfire and Kory are trying to track down a machine that Crane could be using to mass produce the anti fear gas (which makes people erratic and more likely to commit violent crimes) at a much faster rate, and they have gotten a tip that one of the mobsters Crane is working with isn't satisfied, so they go to talk to her.

Kory is hesitant to willingly work with a criminal, even if the outcome gets the drug off the streets and keeps people safe, so Blackfire reminds her of something that their father used to say:

When making decisions, think of the 51% Rule. If a decision is 51% good and 49% bad, then you do it anyway. Because if it's only by a slight bit - the good outweighs the bad.

Kory says 'I hope you reminded father of that when you were killing him' - and this leads Blackfire to remind Kory that this rule was implemented all throughout their childhood. And it lead to Blackfire being abused and neglected while Kory was beloved and favoured - something that Kory is trying to heal by being an ally to her sister rather than leaving her to let that abuse continue at the hands of the US government.

The theme of breaking away from abusive parenting comes up in the episode again - the mobster agrees to work with them as long as Kory and Blackfire bring her son to her, and Kory (being good natured) believe that it's because she wants to reunite with her son and make amends with him, but the woman ends up murdering her son because he was supposedly giving information about her criminal empire to the FBI. And so, Kory lashes out and (rightfully) murders the woman - and we see Blackfire have a fondness for Kory murdering an abuser and bringing justice, be better than their parents would have been in the face of a situation like this.

And it's not just this episode, the theme persists throughout the season.

Barbara and Dick - but let's just focus on Dick for a second.

"Be a better Batman."

This is from the ... first? Episode I believe. (The first or the second.) Bruce murders the Joker and then shows up in Dick's room in the middle of the night, covered in blood, and drops a bloody crowbar on Dick's floor - he tells Dick that he's done with Gotham, and that Dick should 'be a better Batman'.

When Dick brings this up to Barbara, she tells him how utterly ridiculous this is - and how it's just Bruce goading him with temptation and Daddy issues, and he reminds her that she became Commissioner Gordon after her own father died, and almost instantly - we see Commissioner Gordon and a new Head Bat, working together seamlessly, but in a new way.

Barbara always desired to be different from her father - she never puts too much trust in Dick, and if she does, she knows when to step back from it. She has a strong sense of justice - she's intelligent and vibrant and energetic and she feels that no person is 'too small' or too unimportant to save.

Dick instantly understands compromise. He's not as independent or stubborn as Bruce because he's used to working with a team, and he learns to delegate early on. He understands the importance of others playing a role aside from himself.

More threads I find important under this theme:

Crane has a scene with his mother. He blames her for pressuring him too much in life, and the fact that he even became a doctor - later on, when he has a mental breaking point, it seems like he goes to the mental extreme of mutilating himself because he believed that he was never good enough in his mother's eyes.

Jason and Dick as 'brothers' - the whole show has a lot of interesting threads about these two and their 'brotherhood', even though in this universe they weren't raised as brothers. But every single fight they have, or every single discussion Dick has about Jason (even discussions that Jason has with Bruce in the flashbacks) - always goes back to Bruce.

It goes back to how Bruce treated them differently.

And I think because Dick always finds opposition and competition in Jason, he never found it in himself to forgive Jason, and he misdirects that 'forgiveness' and better treatment to Rachel and Gar, and in a sense - he feels the need to oppose Jason continually, right up until the end - because he feels that Jason always got better treatment from Bruce. (When neither of them were treated as a child should be, they were just treated very differently.)

I mentioned this earlier, but the fact that Kory rescues Blackfire from the government facility, seemingly to make up for the damage that their parents caused. And finding out later in the season that their parents treated them so unfairly because they used magic to steal Blackfire's natural powers and give them to Starfire, and then treated Blackfire like a powerless outcast her whole life - there is just so many layers to unpack there. But Kory was basically ending the general trauma and abuse by discovering this family secret and finally giving her sister fair treatment.

Dick has closure in having a dream about his real father - and then dreams of becoming a parent himself. I am not a huge fan of the visions with M'ari, not because I don't like her (that baby is so stinkin cuuuuute omg) - I am just not a huge fan of the trope of 'having a baby and getting married = happy ending'. Especially because the show split up the Titans family and Dick and Kory stayed together under the impression that this would happen.

BUT - I did love how Dick's form of closure, after obsessing about following in Bruce's footsteps as Batman, and reflecting on how Bruce treated him and Jason, and having all those flashbacks to his childhood where Bruce treated him horribly (but in his adulthood, he considered it 'training') - Dick gets to have genuine closure by seeing his real father one last time, who tells Dick that he is proud of him.

Especially after the Pit shows him a vision of himself as The Joker, killing Jason - which I have just now realized represents Dick taking on Bruce's burdens. Holy fuck. Because it has been established throughout the whole season that if Bruce had treated Jason better, then Jason wouldn't have run off on his own, and he wouldn't have gotten killed by the Joker.

And Dick probably feels the same way about Jason getting kidnapped and tortured by Deathstroke, and be probably still feels responsible for everything that happened there, like when he dropped Jason and a hallucination of Bruce was tormenting him for not taking better care of Jason - so in that torment, and after trying to BE A BETTER BATMAN for weeks, maybe months, and seemingly failing after he dies in an altercation with Jason (someone who wouldn't be Red Hood without Dick's own mistakes) - Dick steps into The Joker's costume and literally murders Jason while Jason is wearing his Robin outfit.

He is killing this more innocent version of Jason because he feels deeply responsible for doing so.

(I have to take a step back because I literally had this realization while typing this.)

And then he is told by his own father that he can let go of that burden - and it's one of the only times he actually gets real, true closure.

I know a lot of people think that the vision of M'ari turned Dick into RV Dad Bot 1.0, but I think it was his father giving him closure that truly made him ready to take on the family and play the part.

Anyway - that's all I have for you today. I have to go before I make anymore mind bending revelations

[genevieveskingdom]

Why I switched from Choices to Romance Club 📖

I started playing Choices in 2019 and I was always so delighted when they veröffentlicht published a new story. I really loved playing that game, but last year I discovered a girl on YouTube who was posting some let's plays from Theodora and I immediately wanted to try this game.

~ The graphic is waaay better and more realistic.

No reused faces nor characters. I am always amazed about every new book and its characters. Even the so-called "unimportant" side characters have their own design and are not reused which cannot be said about Choices unfortunately. 😔

~ Better character development. Your choices really matter and have different outcome for the MC.

The way you interact with each of the characters has its consequences. The LI's also interact like real people and if you date someone and then decide to switch to an other LI, their romance path is closed. You really have to choose wisely for whom you decide to be with.

~ Quality over quantity

I don't really remember how many books are currently published (ended and ongoing) in RC, but it's definitely not as much as in the Choices app. I HATE the VIP books and that fact that you have to wait thousand years for it to get widely released! 😵 And when you open the first chapter you see that it's just another single love interest book with some three macho guys you are not attracted to (I respect everyone who's into the standard "sexy" type of men, of course, it's just not me 😇) and three girls from whom you choose the kleinste smallest evil.

~ More accessible diamonds and teas

I LOVE Diamond Rush, Tea Parties and so on 😍 It's sooo player-friendly and so worth it! Even the access to diamonds and teas is more suited for wide audience and honestly - when RC is so generous and want to give you so much for free, then you want to buy some diamond/tea pack from them even more, because you know they value their players. 🙏

~ No single love interest books!

Oh my gosh, I have been so annoyed that most of the books Choices release lately is meant for single romance. The problem is not with faithfulness, but with the fact that everyone has their own definition of attraction and beauty. And most of the main LIs in single love interest books are written stereotypically (Bad Boy, guy nextdoor, rebellious girl...) I miss the plasticity of their personalities, of their appearances. Not everyone who matches today's beauty standards is actually beautiful. There should be diversity in LIs. Some of them should be curvier, more slender, with glasses, with bigger nose, with disability, with albinism... Just go on the street and look at the classic human beauty seen every day in public transport! Stop giving us some plain definition of beauty which lacks its own charm.

The only thing I would improve in RC would be the option to choose if we want to play as a male, female, non-binary...etc. As far as I know, only Gladiator's Chronicles have a male MC.

Now I have some personal highlights about Choices I'd like to get rid of because it's been in me for so long 🙉

First thing's first, The Princess Swap was such a good book. I loved the idea. Still, I've got a certain love-hate relationship with this book. First of all, biology and genetics does not make sense in this standalone. Secondly, lord Cecil was not as bad as everyone thinks. He and the king were my most favourite characters, actually. 🤭 Third, I was so annoyed by the prince/ss of Ismar. We were forced to marry them, we could not even say no.🤦

I loved BOLAS N° 1. I replayed the story twice. I was in love with Tyril Starfury. Even though I loved Kaya Duskraven more. She was sooo gorgeous! When they introduced the sequel to us I was naively hoping that we might get Kaya back. That we would find some magical artefact, for example, and bring her back to life, so that she can join the party and be our new love interest. I would definitely switch to her. Instead, we got Valax... I am a little bit disappointed by the sequel, to be honest. They were promising us so many mesmerizing things and I was just expecting a little more from the three years waiting episode. Not only did I not understand why Cherta and Willow joined our party and then they left afterwards... I was like: okay, new love interests apparently. And then whoosh, they vanished. And we ended up trapped with the Valax-drama until the last chapters... I respect everyone who likes the sequel, it is just not me. Unfortunately. I will stick to the good old first book, which I love. 🩷

[haru-dipthong]

罠英語・Trap Words pt 3 (Special Feature!)

ヒップ → hip ❌ → butt ✅

This word’s history and usage was long and confusing enough to warrant an entire post to itself. We’ll get into why ヒップ came to mean “butt” and not “hip” in a moment. What I think is more interesting is what the actual Japanese word is for “hip” — there is none, and not in a “Japanese people don’t have a word for X they have to say Y instead and I think that’s beautiful” kind of way. I mean there is literally no word in Japanese for that part of the human body. If you go to the wikipedia article for “Hip” and try to switch languages to Japanese, you will be unable to because, despite the article being written in 49 different languages, a Japanese version does not exist.

Part of the reason for this is that the English word “hip” actually refers to two separate concepts: 1. the hip “region” and 2. the hip joint.¹ The hip joint is actually quite a bit lower on the pelvis than where the average person would point to when asked to point to their hip. Japanese does have a word for this, 股関節（こかんせつ）, but it’s not commonly used outside the field of medicine.²

The hip region is what we mainly think of when we say “hip”. The definition is iffy, but the hip region is basically the region of the body in and around the “hip bone”, which is actually 3 bones up until they fuse during puberty. Again, Japanese technically does have a word for the hip bone, 寛骨（かんこつ）, but it’s rarely used and the kanji implies literal bone, rather than an area of the body. The hip bone such an unimportant concept in Japanese that it doesn’t even warrant its own wikipedia article, relgated to a single dot point on the article for pelvis (骨盤) instead.³ Our word for hip refers to the bone, but also the layer of skin, fat and muscle that lies over the bone, and also refers to the general shape of that area. There’s no word for this collective concept in Japanese.

This seems odd, because hips have been important to humans since antiquity due to wide hips facilitating easier childbirth. How did the ancient Japanese never develop a need for a word for hips? I can’t say for sure, but I’m guessing they made do with a combination of a couple of words:

腰（こし）: Waist (kinda - it also refers to the small of the back in particular)

骨盤（こつばん）: Pelvis

お尻（おしり）: Butt/bum/bottom

It’s commonly said in Japanese that 「お尻が大きいと安産」”if you have a big butt, you’ll have an easy childbirth”.⁴⁵ This isn’t entirely accurate, it’s obviously the bone shape, not the butt fat, that facilitates childbirth, but I imagine it was close enough for people thousands of years ago. I’m guessing that because they had this concept, they didn’t need a separate word for the hip region. Also, 腰 can refer to the whole hip-waist area in general, so they could refer to the region in an un-specific way. My Japanese partner said she would call the hip region 「お尻の横」or 「骨盤」if she had to call it something.

So why does ヒップ mean “butt”? It’s a word that didn’t exist in Japanese before it was borrowed from English, why wouldn’t it fill in the perfect hip-shaped gap in the lexicon?

I believe it comes from clothing measurements. English speaking countries are quite influential in the fashion industry, and it wouldn’t be surprising if the “hip measurement” was imported to Japan and misinterpreted. In the above image, the 「ヒップ」measurement description says 「腰の一番大きい部分を測ります」 "Measure the biggest part of your こし".⁶

Here’s another example: 「ヒップのふくらみの一番高い周囲を測定します」 "Measure the diameter around your body where your buttocks are tallest".⁷ When you think about it, a hip measurement is actually just a butt measurement, since your butt contributes to the widest part of your body there just as much as your hips do.

I believe when the word ヒップ was introduced to Japanese, instead of the lack of the concept of “hips” in Japanese facilitating a demand for the word, it caused a misinterpretation. It probably went something like this: “Ok so we have this new thing called a ‘hip measurement’ from English. It measures the width of your butt and the tops of your legs. The butt is the main thing we’re measuring, plus I can’t see why anyone would need a word for the tops of your legs, so ‘hip’ must mean ‘butt’!”

It’s extremely common for Japanese people to believe that the word “hip” in english also means “butt”. Above we can see Natsuki from Abroad in Japan sliding down an ice slide, complaining in mistaken English about how his bum hurts. The person who added subtitles was either also mistaken, or they decided that the specific part of where Natsuki was hurting didn’t matter and it would cause less confusion to keep the subtitles looking similar to what he said.

For some reason, in Japanese games butt-based attacks are quite common, possibly due to the existence of the word ヒップ. For example, ヒップドロップ (hip drop) is what Mario’s ground pound is called in Japanese (same with Bowser’s down-B in Smash). Once you have a concept for something, it’s easily propagated. It’s entirely possible that the name ヒップドロップ was introduced in Mario and then spread to many other games. Also in Smash, Peach’s side-B is described as a ヒップアタック. A whole wikipedia article exists for ヒップドロップ, suggesting notability and common use.

I hope this was interesting! For additional reading, check out this video from Kevin’s English Room, where Kevin spends 5 minutes trying to describe to two Japanese guys what a “hip” is lmao.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hip [2] https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-d&q=股関節 [3] https://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/骨盤 [4] https://manababy.jp/lecture/view/68/ [5] https://jp.moony.com/ja/tips/pregnancy/pregnancy/body/pt0221.html [6] http://www.paradise-rs.com/original3.html [7] https://top.dhc.co.jp/shop/fashion/fashion/size.html

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Doctor Who, but Chronologically: 33

It has happened a few times, so far, that we've seen episodes that, whether good or bad, had little impact on the series: they answered no questions, and posed no new ones.

This, however, is the first we've watched this way that suddenly answers a shit-ton of arc while offering new elements, and also hints at a whole bunch of vital story we haven't seen yet, and is completely fucking batshit to the point of near-incomprehensibility.

It's 1938, and the episode is Let's Kill Hitler.

We open with a "Previously On" that contains nothing we've previously seen LMAO ALMOST AS IF OUR WATCH ORDER IS DEEPLY FUCKING STUPID but it turns out Amy was pregnant after all, her baby was promptly stolen by a one-eyed woman fighting a war against the Doctor that the Doctor was apparently unaware of (insert Don Draper "I don't think of you at all" meme), the baby is called Melody and has Time Lord DNA because... well that wasn't explained but maybe it's why Amy's pregnancy test was inconclusive, and there are some aliens called the Silents. Oh, and at some point Amy was melted. Is Rory still plastic? Not sure.

Anyway, we open with Amy and Rory trying to get the Doctor's attention by writing his name in crop circles in a scene that made me wonder how much they had to pay the farmer to film it. "Have you found Melody yet?" Amy begs of her missing baby, except she doesn't, because Karen Gillan imbues the scene with the urgency of a housemate asking if you remembered to check if Shell or British Gas will give you cheaper bills.

Then Amy and Rory's BESTEST FRIEND MELS turns up. The show then has to introduce us to Mels, because in spite of being presented as an indispensable part of their lives, even people watching the normal way have never even heard of this woman before now. Then she pulls out a GUN from somewhere and insists they all go to kill Hitler, which... I'm on board, actually.

Except a shapeshifting justice robot staffed with tiny people (I love the shapeshifting justice robot staffed with tiny people btw they should get their own spin-off) is already here and trying to kill Hitler, so the TARDIS smashes in and accidentally saves his life. There is a genuinely very funny and enjoyable scene where they punch Hitler and put him in a cupboard.

And then the episode just fucking nosedives in quality. Mels was accidentally shot by Hitler, and regenerates - into River!!! We know her, she was a criminal who could fly the TARDIS. What this means, though, is that Amy and Rory - new parents, who are desperate to reclaim their kidnapped baby - find out in that moment that their baby... will never come back to them. They're never going to see her again. They're never going to get to raise her, never going to see her take her first steps, never teach her to identify trees or swim or dance. A whole childhood and adolescence of memories and experiences, stolen away. They're to be grateful, they're told, that they knew her as their childhood tearaway friend Mels - because that's just like raising her after all. Except prior to being Mels, she was raised and abused and brainwashed into being an assassin - a "psychopath", because the writers don't know what that word means. They will never be able to protect her from that.

That is a horrifying thing to realise; the sort of thing that will mean you're in therapy forever.

And the episode considers it to be so unimportant that Amy and Rory are IN THE BACKGROUND OF THE SHOT WHEN IT'S REVEALED.

Who gets our focus?!? Why, the Doctor of course! Who else but the Specialest Man. This is obviously deeply relevant to him the most. Jesus fucking wept. Also I should mention this is easily the most misogynistic episode we've seen yet. The Doctor asks and receives permission to hug Amy - from her husband. River regenerates while yelling "I'm trying to focus on a dress size!" and makes another three fatphobic comments within the same scene. When Amy says "But River's not a psychopath in the future! What's wrong with her right now?" the Doctor responds "She's been brainwashed and also she can't help it because she's a woman."

(That's not an exaggeration. "She's a woman" is literally given as the reason she's a "psychopath". In a scene in which said woman has spent half her lines stressing how thin and fuckable she is.)

Anyway, the rest of the plot is what you'd expect, probably - River tries and succeeds in killing him with slow poison, Amy manages to be useful inside the shapeshifting justice robot staffed with tiny people, there's a showdown where River decides to save him by using up all her regenerations on him. At the point the Doctor dies, Karen Gillan and Arthur Darville literally forget to cry. It's an utterly sterile scene where you're just waiting for them to hurry up and resolve it. At the end, the Doctor now knows that he's going to be killed by River (dressed as an astronaut! A plot answer!) in Utah in 2011, which he hides from Amy and Rory for no clear reason given that they already know. We learn the Silents aren't an alien race but a religious sect who believe that Silence Will Fall when the first question is finally answered, though why they want that silence is a mystery (technically so is the question but I'mma be real with you all, lads, I remember watching this series when it was first on and immediately guessing so lol). Hitler is still in a cupboard.

However, it was very nice seeing Cardiff museum.

Plot threads!

“She” (an unknown person) is returning (perhaps River returned as Missy. Maybe Me? Maybe Clara???!)

There is something on Donna’s back

An entire planet, Pyrovilia, just… disappeared, somehow. (Maybe because the TARDIS is exploding??? Saturnine was also lost, and that WAS because of the TARDIS exploding. The lion man’s planet was also lost but he was a bit of a knob about it if I’m honest.)

Amy is maybe dead (she’s not)

The Doctor has been cubed (he’s out, but how?)

River is possibly blown up  (unless she’s Missy)

The TARDIS has blown up  (It’s fine now. Except it’s sort of melting now because it’s corrupted, but it’s fine again)

The universe appears to have ended  (the universe is back again)

The Doctor has employed(?) Nardole

(And Nardole was “reassembled???” Nardole had glass nipples and invisible hair?? WHAT THE FUCK IS HE)

There’s a vault in the TARDIS and it contains Missy but we don’t know why (sometimes she knocks for the bants)

What has happened to all these companions and where are the new ones coming from?

There’s an immortal Viking girl now. Her name is Me and she’s now looking after the people the Doctor abandons

Why was Rory entirely unconcerned by the entire world suddenly going silent when that is Not Normal and should have been, at the very least, extremely disconcerting?

What did the Doctor do to Queen Lizzie One?

Who is Captain Jack Harkness? (Is he the one who gave the companions a warning about the lone cyberman?)

Why is Amy seeing a one-eyed woman in a vanishing window? (NEW INFO: she's with the Silents, but we don't know why Amy saw her)

Why is Amy's pregancy inconclusive? (NEW INFO: because the baby had Time Lord DNA?)

Who is Sarah-Jane Smith?

How is the Doctor Bill’s teacher and why/where does he have an office?

What is going on with the Cyber War and the Cyberium???

What happened with the Other Cyber War?

What happened with the Third War that deleted the void?

Why does Rose seem particularly important?

What’s with the Weeping Angel statues, and why can’t you blink at them?

What order do these Doctors go in? (Eccleston, Tennant, uncertain, Smith, Capaldi, Whittaker)

Which companion just… forgot the Doctor, and how?

Yaz and Vinder are about to die as Mori/Mwri/Muuri

There is a Lupari shield around Earth.

What’s a Time War?

What’s the Rift?

What’s Bad Wolf?

In which war did the Doctor become a war criminal, and how?

Who is the Master?

Why has Amy forgotten Rory?

Is Rory plastic or not?

Why is the Doctor sulking on a cloud?

How exactly does the Doctor have a cloud?

What exactly happened with Strax to, uh, tame him?

Which friend killed Strax?

Which friend brought Strax back?

Where did this lesbian lizard and human couple come from?

What happened with Clara as Souffle Girl and the Daleks?

How does Clara actually join?

Why so many Claras?

Why is Missy apparently in robo-heaven?

Why is probably!Missy pushing Clara and the Doctor together?

What is Trensilor and what happened there?

Who is Handles?

The Doctor is about to be dissolved by a beautiful geode man

The universe is being crushed by the Flux

Will the Doctor open the fobwatch?

Sontarans are invading Earth again

Who is Kate?

Who is Osgood? Another name of Clara’s again?

The fuck is the deal with the Grand Serpent

Does Martha get to go to an ice cream planet with 12-fingered massage aliens?

How did the Doctor forget Clara?

Who is Bill’s puddle girlfriend Heather?

How did Nardole die?

When does Bill get Cyberman-ed and die?

When does the Doctor shrink and enter a Dalek called Rusty?

Whittaker is falling to her death rn

Was that ring relevant?

Does anyone know the Doctor’s name?

When did Yaz talk to Dan about fancying the Doctor?

When did Dan talk to the Doctor about fancying Yaz?

Who was the Doctor’s wife?

What’s happening with the bees?

What happened with Donna’s ex and a giant spider?

What war wiped out the Daleks, and is it one of the ones already mentioned?

What did the Doctor mean when he said “The (Daleks) always live, while I lose everything?”

If Dalek Caan is the last Dalek left why are there more now?

How did the rest of the Time Lords die?

How and why did Amy melt?

What's the question that will make silence fall?

Why do the Silents... want silence to fall?

How and why are Silents at war with the Doctor when he... hasn't even heard of them?

How does Hitler get out of the cupboard?

[acourtofthought]

I just had a thought! Do you think Elain and Lucien’s story might be happening in the time between ACOSF ending and Bryce landing in Prythian + during her stay there? It’s explicitly said Vassa’s time is running out, so they probably won’t wait to start looking for solutions 2 hours before she returns to Koschei. Maybe Rhys will give Lucien the remaining Made weapon (Nesta has the sword and Eris has another one, I forgot which) so he can kill Koschei?

That's what I've been thinking.

If SF ended in March / April (early Spring), that means the ending of CC2 is 6-9 months after. So we're looking at CC3 picking up somewhere from October to January, not to mention the additional weeks / months that Bryce will be in Prythian.

In all that time, are we really supposed to believe nothing has happened with this:

Koschei said, “Tell my Vassa I’m waiting.” His shadows swirled.

With this?

“But Tamlin is already hanging by a thread. You and Lucien have made it clear that he’s barely improved this past year. Learning of Feyre’s pregnancy might make him crumble again. With a new war possible and Briallyn up to her bullshit with Koschei, we need a strong ally. We need the Spring Court’s forces.” “So we’re to hide her pregnancy from him?” “No. But we need to summon Lucien,” Azriel said, just a shade tightly, as if he didn’t like it one bit. “We need to tell him the news, and permanently station him at the Spring Court to contain any damage and to be our eyes and ears.”

With this?

Indeed, Mor’s eyes shuttered. “They don’t want to sign the new treaty.”

“Maybe,” Cassian lied. She was still trying to convince them to sign the new treaty. But Eris didn’t need to know that.

The only one who hadn’t voted was Mor, who remained in Vallahan to keep coaxing its rulers to sign the new treaty

With this?

“But you and yours have more important things to think about than ancient history. My father is furious that his ally is dead, but he’s not deterred. Koschei remains in play, and Beron might very well be stupid enough to establish an alliance with him, too. I hope that whatever Morrigan is doing in Vallahan will counteract the damage my father will unleash.”

These were really big problems in ACOSF, even as far back as the novella (ACOWAR for Vassa's curse) and I find it difficult to believe there's just nothing happening with them in the 6-9 months that's gone by especially because we know Vassa's freedom was ending soon. There's little chance Lucien and Jurian would just be chilling in the human lands doing nothing once Koschei called her back (I also cannot imagine yet another awkward Solstice with Elain, Az, and Lucien or another year gone by where Elucien's bond and her powers are in limbo).

What makes a lot of sense is that Elucien's book would pick up shortly after SF. They would deal with Vassa, Koschei, Spring / Tamlin and help Mor with the treaty. By they end, they'd permanently be living in Spring or Day which would explain Elain's absence in CC2.

I could also see them visiting Feyre and Rhys at the end of their book only to have Feyre inform them of Bryce having arrived in Prythian followed by her return to Midgard and that would be a seamless way for SJM to introduce the crossover to the ACOTAR series since ACOTAR only readers still don't know about it. That would then set up Az's book with how connected he is to the crossover and whatever new obstacles will come about because of Bryce's visit (the possible return of the Daglan / Asteri and a war of the world's scenario).

Giving Az the book immediately after CC3 seems odd to me because if someone is unaware of CC, they'll have finished SF wondering what's going on with Beron, Koschei, Tamlin, Vassa, and the treaty only to be smacked in the face with an outerspace time traveler when they start the next book in the series. They would also be confused on why the issues in SF are suddenly unimportant or on the back burner after SF created a sense of urgency around them.

There needs to be a more natural build up and I think a soft introduction at the end of an Elucien novel would provide that.

[ghoulpepperv]

I've been struggling to be motivated to do any writing or much of anything lately. I won't go deep into it, but I did this to just do some writing for fun. It's been healing. Just two little drabbles.

I apologize to those who don't want more BG3 shenanigans. This is about my Tavs, Beryl (Wood Elf Warlock Bard) and Tessa (Human Rogue Ranger), because I love them. I might keep them as just DnD characters to play in the future or give them their own unique story.

If you're a BG3 fan, I'm sorry about getting my brain babies all over everything.

It Wasn't Kindness

Beryl couldn’t even remember why she was in Baldur’s Gate to begin with. It was probably nothing more than a layover to where she actually wanted to be. It all seemed so unimportant now. Until this tadpole in her head was dealt with, she wouldn’t be able to focus on much else. Getting off the Nautiloid had been her first priority.

Gaining party members had been a side effect of her journey. The first person the Wood Elf had encountered was Lae’zel. The Githyanki was a formidable but vexatious ally. She was the right amount of unhinged, topped with a refreshing bluntness. You were never left wondering where you stood with Lae’zel. Beryl could work with that.

As they made their way off the Nautiloid, Beryl and Lae’zel came across Tessa, a human rogue, trying to pry a half-elf out of one of the pods. The woman was desperate for this help which Lae’zel was hesitant to give. Beryl nearly walked on by but something compelled her to stay. Maybe she was getting soft or just stupid. 

Once free, the half-elf would introduce herself as Shadowheart. It turned out to be for the best since she was a cleric. It always helped to have one on your team. Tessa found her own way of being annoying: she was too fucking nice. 

Beryl wrote her off as an idiot who would probably get them killed. Yet her skills would be helpful. And Beryl couldn’t turn any of them away, could she? It wasn’t out of kindness, of course. That would be silly. They all needed each other to survive this. It wasn’t deeper than that.

As they traveled forth, the group kept growing. Tessa was insistent on saving Gale of Waterdeep from the sigil. The wizard was grateful and Beryl would be remiss if she didn’t admit having a wizard around is a good idea.

Astarion was different. He had greeted Beryl with a knife to the throat. Yet she admired his moxie. The pretty face didn’t hurt either. Tessa seemed more annoyed by how easily Beryl let him join them after attacking her.

“I’ll take responsibility if he does anything untoward, don’t worry,”

“Like holding a knife to your neck?”

“Oh, would you let that go?” Beryl was tired of this conversation.

“Gods, you really can get away with anything if you have a pretty face.”

“Not that you would know anything about that.” Beryl immediately regretted the words. She sounded so much like her mother in that sentence. She sighed, prepared to swallow her pride and apologize.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that, it was a knee-jerk reaction.”

But to her surprise, Tessa was laughing.

“Your words have no sting,” Tessa said. “Just something a very hurt person says when backed into a proverbial corner.”

Beryl scowled at the accusation.

“You’re forgiven.” Tessa’s tone was obnoxiously saccharine. Beryl made a mental note to never apologize to her again.

“We need all the help we can get.” Beryl felt the need to defend her decision suddenly. “It can’t hurt having two rogues with us.”

Tessa mulled this over. “I guess, but if he kills anyone here, it’s on you. And he better not kill me. I’ll be particularly angry about it.”

Beryl nodded, accepting the terms of the agreement. This seemed to appease Tessa.

The other companions weren’t any less drama free, especially when Wyll and Karlach joined. Beryl wasn’t used to playing peacemaker, but she had managed to keep Wyll and Karlach from killing one another. Beryl was used to traveling alone. Solving other people’s quarrels was not her forte and yet here she was. Doing just that.

But she wasn’t doing this out of kindness. None of this was kindness. It was survival, just like she’d been taught. She didn’t care about any of these people.

She couldn’t care about them. It would be a weakness and weakness means death.

So no. It wasn’t kindness.

It wasn't.

Right In Front of My Party?

“It’s quite thrilling, to fight off such grim creatures as this region throws at us. Especially being at your side.”

Tessa and Gale locked eyes. He spoke to her as if she were the only person in the world. In that moment, she was at least to him. Despite the entire band of misfits standing just behind them, forced to witness this display of overt horniness.

“I once read a book that explained in some detail the effect a brush with dangers has on one’s desire for… other forms of stimulation. Have you ever read anything on that subject?”

Beryl furrowed her brow. Was he really doing this here? In front of everyone? 

The wood elf glanced around the group, searching for an ally in her confusion. Karlach watched with an adoring look on her face, like she was watching a romance novel unfold. Wyll gave a sly thumbs up to Gale to encourage him. He had been playing the role of wingman for Gale so Beryl couldn’t feign surprise at it.

Shadowheart was unmoved. Lae’zel didn’t seem as disgusted by it as Beryl thought she would be. It made some sense given how much githyanki connected love and fighting. The group had seen how true that was first hand through Shadowheart and Lae’zel’s unique romance.

Beryl believed Lae’zel felt nothing but hatred for Shadowheart, especially after catching them at each other’s throats one night. But only a few nights later, Beryl had heard sounds from Lae’zel’s tent that seemed to indicate they had more than buried the hatchet.

Beryl struggled for some kind of sex pun, but it eluded her. Lae’zel buried her hatchet in Shadowheart’s? No. No, that was bad.

Shadowheart was “the source of her bruises.” Of course, she wouldn’t mind whatever it was Gale was doing right now.

Astarion had a mischievous grin, enjoying the show. He was so adept at that act of flirting, it wasn’t a surprise he was relishing Gale’s awkwardness. It was like a wild animal studying a caged one.

 Beryl turned to Tessa. She had to be mortified––

“Read?” Tessa gave a flirtatious smirk. “I could have written the thing.”

These absolute freaks. Tessa looked ready to jump his bones.

“I believe you. You never looked so beautiful as at the end of a stirring battle, your cheeks flushed, gaze bright, muscles glistening,” he continued. “Perhaps it’s just the thrill of our near-death experience talking. But standing at your side through such darkness and disrepair, it only makes me want you more.”

Gale paused to regroup himself. “Unfortunately this is neither the time nor place to indulge such feelings. So, we must be patient and push all such thoughts aside. For now.”

Though a bit disappointed, Tessa nodded in agreement. Gale placed a hand on the small of her back to guide her to the Last Light Inn.

Beryl hated that she was happy for her two humans. She should have just been embarrassed for them, yet her brain signaled to her that this was “cute.” 

“Pity,” Astarion commented with a fanged smile. “I thought we’d be getting a show. I can’t say I wouldn’t have enjoyed it, even if it involved Gale.”

Beryl met Astarion’s eyes. He seemed to be drinking her in. Beryl couldn’t keep her grin at bay when he sent attention her way. While she knew Astarion was using her either for sex or something else, she did appreciate his boldness. He got to the point. He didn’t waste time on conversations about books and battlefields. He just asked if you wanted to have sex.

“Don’t you agree?” Astarion’s voice was dangerously low. Beryl’s eyes widened, taken aback. She nodded slowly. Oh no. Oh no, oh no. They were flirting over the idea of those two having sex on the battlefield.

Pleased by the confession, Astarion began to follow the rest of the group to the inn.

“Don’t fall behind, my sweet,” Astarion noted. “You don’t want to be caught in the shadows.”

Beryl didn’t need to be told twice. 

Gods, she was an absolute freak, too.

[keyh0use]

Kinktober Day 15: Praise Kink

Rafe being the most stuck-up, pretentious kook the mainland has ever had the displeasure of hosting

Contrary to what Rafe had spent the better part of their relationship believing, Barry didn't graduate in the Outer Banks.

After being introduced to high school buddies while down on the cut, it was an easy assumption to make.

But that wasn't the case. Barry's family had moved to the mainland during his senior year which meant he had to finish the last semester at a new school where he knew no one. That part of his life was very short lived and according to the dealer, unimportant to disclose.

It wasn't like, a private school, y'know? Nothin' like The Kook Academy or whatever, Barry had told Rafe one evening. But everyone was way better off than my folks, I got made fun of for it. Not a big deal, though.

Only Rafe did find that to be a big deal, couldn't imagine a time where Barry wasn't how he is now; mean and confrontational and trigger-happy.

Like a beacon calling him to relive the worst months of his life, Barry receives an invite to his highschool reunion and like everything else, can't hide it from Rafe.

"You're going," insists the boy.

"The hell I am," counters Barry. "Bunch'a assholes I don't wanna waste a night I could be with you on."

Rafe tells him, "Oh, I'm going too."

Arguing with the kook—who was not only an excellent negotiator but could also cry on command—wasn't something Barry did lightly, so with a heavy sigh he agreed.

That was how the older man ended up in front of his old high school, looking the same way it did all those years ago. Only now Barry was dressed exceptionally nice, something he was accustomed to after being with Rafe and forced to attend every prestigious event on the North side, mingling amongst the kooks like he was one of them—and maybe he was, after all this time.

The entryway was decorated with cheap looking fairy lights, glittering white and bright now that the sun had fully set. Everything was so familiar it was unsettling and Barry kept a firm grip on Rafe's hand, a silent plea not to be left alone for even a second in this terrible place. It wasn't that Barry was bullied or anything, just that almost all of these people grew up as upper middle class and had brand-name clothing and fancy Christmas vacations to show for it, a stark contrast to the dealer's upbringing. As someone who spent most of his life in the Outer Banks, Barry could attest that not even the snootiest kook would blindly turn their nose up at him, too familiar with how the other side lived down in the cut. Besides, both sides of the island shared moments together, usually on the beach at the end of summer, and Barry had always had fond memories surrounding those days. Especially when Rafe waltzed into his life. But he supposes it all makes sense; every one of the families in this little town live the exact same cushy way, so it's inevitable that when some boy from the barrier islands shows up with scuffed shoes and second-hand clothes, naturally he would be beneath them. There's a large frame propped up on a table just outside the bustling auditorium filled with grad photos, and Barry can physically feel his boy grin as he's tugged over to it. Blue eyes scour the last names printed beneath the black-and-white pictures but Barry isn't interested in reliving his bad hairstyles, back when he didn't have a clue how to properly care for his curls and instead took the moment to try and make out who was in attendance. Some of the football jocks, clearly, given how obnoxious they were. An English teacher Barry was fond of because she would get side-tracked easily and go on rants instead of making them do work. The vice principal, who now appeared to have been promoted, taking photos with former students with a big, practiced grin plastered on his face.

Once Rafe had snapped a photo of Barry's awful picture, and presumably sent it to Sarah, they were joining the hordes of people from the older man's past. But as the evening slowly went by, Barry hadn't considered who he had at his side. Rafe—who usually carried himself with an air of superiority—was ramping his conceitedness up. They made rounds and the kook was perfectly attuned to his man's demeanour, picking up on Barry's fidgeting and terse words, knowing to turn his nose up at the people before them.

When some guy who used to gang up on Barry in gym class comes over to start bragging about some start-up, claiming it's the next best thing and he's at the top of the game, Rafe listens with the most uninterested look until the other man starts to stumble over his words.

Rafe has a ton of accomplishments under his belt from working with Cameron Industries—seeing how he's their best negotiator and has closed an unbelievable amount of deals in his short few years in the business. The kook will gloat for a few minutes and then smoothly change the conversation to Barry by saying I owe everything to my husband, without his continued support who knows where I'd be and it's so genuine and proud the older man can't find it in him to feel embarrassed, even when Rafe continues to boast about him.

The same process repeats, people will make their way over and try to impress the well-dressed kook to no avail, Rafe only being polite to those who don't make his man all tense and jittery.

Then a woman Barry vaguely recognizes joins them and gets a little too friendly. The older man feels like he's suffering from a spell of insanity at just how upset he gets and how fast, after all, people were drawn to Rafe and flirted with him everywhere they went; the country club, dinner dates, the damn gas station. It always pissed Barry off but this time, watching some random girl from senior year bat her lashes at the kook is too much.

Barry opens his mouth but Rafe beats him to the punch, rejecting the advances without missing a beat and doing it rudely, like the boy is disgusted. And Rafe always does that, too, has never in all their years of being together strayed for even a second, never letting the compliments get to him.

Pride swells in Barry's chest and it's overwhelming, the love he feels.

For a moment the woman can only stare in shock and then her husband is looping an arm through hers and introducing himself.

"Let's go somewhere," Barry leans over to whisper once they're left standing alone.

Rafe takes a sip of the watery cider from a clear plastic cup, mumbling against the rim, "Now?"

"Yeah, now."

With a slow nod, Rafe slips his hand into Barry's and they make their way outside into the dimly lit hallway, only a few people rushing by on the way to the bathrooms.

"You wanna go home?" asks Rafe.

"Nah, not yet," Barry answers. "Havin' you here makes this shit bearable."

Rafe can't wipe the smile off his face as they walk the corridors hand-in-hand, talking idly until Barry tries the door on a dark classroom, finding it unlocked.

The lights aren't switched on as the kook is ushered inside, Barry swiftly closing the door behind them and crowding Rafe against a wall to kiss him heatedly.

There's only one thing on Barry's mind and that's being inside his beautiful boy, leaving a trail down Rafe's throat as he yanks on his own belt.

"You're such a good boy, y'know that?" whispers Barry, sucking harshly on the skin just below Rafe's collar. Hands twist in his dress shirt, black fabric wrinkling but neither of them care in the moment.

Rafe does know—how could be not, when his man is always reminding him? But the compliment makes his belly swoop and his cock jump, half hard in his slacks already, he'll never getting tired of hearing it.

Footsteps fall just outside the door and urgency sets in, Barry turning the kook around, Rafe's cheek pressed against the cool chalkboard as the two of them work together to get his pants and briefs to pool around his ankles.

Barry yanks down his own zipper and feeds his hard cock through the opening, spitting into his palm to smooth down his shaft. Precome drools from the tip, connecting a sticky string from his slit to Rafe's puckered rim where they teasingly meet.

Both of Rafe's hands flatten against the board on either side of his head, panting into the dark room as he impatiently waits, mindlessly squirming in an attempt to get friction.

"I love how desperate you get," Barry mumbles, holding the base of his dick and smacking the tip against Rafe's hole.

The boy snaps in a bratty tone, "Do you like fucking me? 'Cause you're about to miss your chance." His prick hasn't flagged since he got hard, even with all the waiting and Rafe knew without looking there was a small puddle of his precome pooled on the ugly tile floor.

"Yeah fuckin' right," counters Barry, finally easing his fat cockhead in the boys greedy hole. "Could do this anywhere I want, tease you as much as I want, smack you around as much as I want. You're so good to me, baby, letting me do anything to you." Once he's fucked all the way in, one strong arm wraps around Rafe's stomach and his other hand holds the kooks hip in a bruising grip. "You're so fucking sexy when you're mean, actin' like a spoiled little brat—"

"Your fault," gasps Rafe.

Barry's hips are snapping forward, the sound of skin on skin echoing throughout the spacious room almost as loud as their combined moaning. "Yeah. Yeah, I'd give you anything," pants out Barry. "You feel so good, so tight around me, fuck."

"Make me come," demands Rafe, though it's followed by a whimper. The kooks ego has inflated tenfold since the two men got together, a damn near constant stream of praise falling from Barry's mouth to shower Rafe.

It doesn't matter if he burns the chicken to a crisp or his teeth accidentally graze the underside of Barry's prick too hard—Rafe is such a good boy, such a good cocksucker and the older man worships the ground he walks on.

It's intoxicating and addicting to have a man like Barry, who's tough and strong and unfriendly want him so ardently, to be willing to do whatever it takes to keep the boy happy.

Leaning forward to kiss devotedly over Rafe's clothed shoulder, Barry reminds him, "Good boys don't come without asking permission and you're so good," while speeding up the thrusting. "So go on, baby, ask me."

One of Rafe's hands slide down and off the chalkboard to curl around the arm baring across his stomach and he cranes his neck to look back pleadingly, taking the fucking as quietly as possible given their location but he's losing his composure, shamelessly whining.

"Please?" the boy asks sweetly, glassy eyes wide.

Barry crowds in closer until his whole front is flush with Rafe's back, more rocking into him than actually thrusting, keeping his cock buried deep.

"Please what, baby?" Barry asks.

Rafe begs brokenly, "Please can I come?" while rocking back on the thick length pressed heavenly against his bundle of nerves.

Keeping the kook pinned in place Barry reaches down to wrap a firm fist around his cock. "Yeah. Yeah, go ahead, baby boy, make a mess," he encourages.

Come paints the concrete wall in thick ropes, Barry's hand working Rafe over until he's squeezing his eyes shut in oversensitivity, rim squeezing around the cock pistoning into him.

A litany of praise falls freely from Barry's mouth when he empties inside his boy, lips pressed against Rafe's nape and eyes squeezed shut in concentration.

Barry helps right the boys clothing, kissing over Rafe's ruddy cheeks while smoothing out any wrinkles he may have caused in the boys dress shirt before doing the same to himself.

"You sure you don't wanna go home?" asks Rafe, tucking a curl behind his man's ear. "I just wanted to show you you've got it good, much better than those assholes."

"That's why you dragged me all the way here?" Barry can't suppress an eye roll, palms trailing up and down Rafe's sides. "I know I got it good, baby, I have you." this could technically be an extra from my they don't know they're dating fic that I've only half written, as almost all of the little details are from it

[spotsupstuff]

What’s your thoughts on all of the scugs and their campaigns? I’m curious in general, but also wonder about peoples thoughts on the scugs if they dislike the campaign or vice versa

well- i haven't played through all of the scugs yet (haven't touched Riv or Saint at all) so i can't really speak on what i think about the campaigns when it comes to the gameplay itself. ya get me

for Monk: i really like the idea of a really chill campaign even though i don't fucking know why but i managed to have more rage inducing time with Monk than with Surv. i REALLY fuckin love Monk's story though. it's So Fucking Good, i'm such a slut for actions made out of absolute, endless and unquestionable platonic love between siblings (wink wonk at my takes on Moon and Nish). like that one post i wrote about the comparisons between Monk the brother/Surv the sister and Pebbles the brother/Moon the sister? that one line where i was like "he walks across the entire facility grounds of two iterators, dreaming of her, having faith in that she's still around."????? i LOVE IT SO MUCH -punches a wall- imagine you love your sibling so so much that even though they might be dead your faith in their ability to live on is so Fecking Stronk that you are dreaming of them, see them sleep in the corner of a shelter

for Surv: Surv is Surv, it's like trying to live without bread and water. can't say anything negative or really positive about the campaign cuz it's just so intrigated into my head as the Base for everything. just like bread and water, you love and appreciate it silently. can always count on it being there. doesn't mean it gets loved any less just because you don't put the thought of adoration upon it every second. it's just a constant note in the background of your life that offers comfort by its existence

for Hunter: i fucking LOVE... i Have played Hunter only after Spear and Arti though which, as defined by utuber user Ruby Rooz, is cheating (/lh) so i haven't had the same frustrations with the cycle limit like a pre-Downpour player (even though i'm pre-Downpour, i never finished any campaign back then). i had fun just kind of zooming by everything and idk man, NSH is my absolute favorite iterator so everytime i looked at the green neuron i just kind of smiled to myself cuz i kept thinking "he's right here, making the journey with me". Hunter's lore is what first captivated me and made me interested in RW (along with the buddhistic roots of the game's religion)! they introduced us to NSH, explained quite a bit about Moon's current position, what Hunter could mean to Pebbles makes me wanna -Pepe Silvia bit from Always Sunny in Philadelphia-

for Gour: i don't really have much to say about their campaign. i'd put it above Monk gameplay-wise but story-wise underneath them. running around collecting food is nice, i like how it deviates from the previous three in that the iterators basically don't matter at all. the most they matter is eating a neuron and yellin at Pebbles to LET ME OUT LET ME OOOOUUUUUT. it offers a different perspective from what we are used to and i really like when things turn 180° and just walk a completely different path from what is "widely accepted" (honestly a reason why i silently adore Shkika's Innocence so much). in Gour's eyes these godly machines are nothing more than just part of the background. unimportant. just another obsticle. something so important in one part of the world diminished into nothing important. no matter how holy someone thinks a thing is, to someone else it's going to be pointless (and, wonderfully enough, it goes the other way around as well.). Gour's most shining moment story-wise is reached once you think about it deeper and come to realise that what they stand for is a hint of variety of understanding the world. they expand the world very subtly. they make thinking about RW less claustrophobic. other than that i'm just "i just think they are neat" about them. i keep quoting the Ruby Rooz video when i think about Gour too- "who ELSE has the arm of a GOD capable of decimating most of the local fauna with one spear and strongly suggesting to those that it doesn't to promptly LeAVhe." also hot take but the big gamer peeps need to stop bitchin bout the tiredness factor of Gour. good challenge. nice variety. are you allergic to planning? have you not listened to Lyanna Kea, in her skits about Asian moms, telling you to have some Initiative for once in your life? because i am an OVERTHINKER and that one utube short, said in that way of speaking changed my fucking life and now i'm here living to my fullest with the local fatty. jokes on u, speedrunners, i've found joy

for Arti: murder is fun! :) scav tolls are not. :( ability to maim remains superior to everything else in this fuck of a game (affectionate). Garbage Wastes need to be stopped. this is probably my number one fav screen from the entire game (Metropolis kicks ass, the lore reveal in person of at least a Small piece of what it was like to be an Ancient makes me giddy)

for Riv: i recognize a threat to my safety in those eyes. i do not trust them. gameplay experience pending (i'm going to break something while travelling through The Rot, i already know it). the soundtrack Not Your Rain is one of the best fucking things i've ever heard come from a game (high praise) and everything that is happening to Pebbles in Riv's campaign goes right along my morbid angst needs. other than that Riv is also in the "i just think they are neat" category. i wish we could've gotten a clearer hint towards what's up with Riv and what iterator they met

for Spear: the most kickass motherfucker was made by the most fail cringe dumb fuck creature i've ever been forced to bear witness to and i am both perplexed and deeply delighted by this (i wanna square up with Suns so bad i cannot begin to explain how much i wanna kick their ass). Spear's campaign is rn my most fav one because of all the lore drops, so much new canon NSH content, the sheer Worldbuilding, the fact that there's been more iterators shown and that they felt like Normal People... the conversation about SoS betting on lizards, the reveal that NSH was the first one to bring forth slugcats as messangers, the conversations between Secluded Instinct and Wandering Omen are one of my most favorite broadcasts besides NSH's attempts to reach Moon. gameplay-wise, i love that Spear's campaign feels like upgraded Survivor campaign. you are faster now, there's more aggressive enemies, you are on no time limit, you don't have to bother with finding spears, you don't have to bother with Directly Taking A Corpse Into Your Hands and Eating it, you get to eat the fuckin carnivorous plants... -dreamy sigh- what more could one want. the whole lore pearl bringing to Moon was a headache without a stomach storage but that is such a little piece of it that i don't mind. the storyline pearl i could stand because i found it nice that i was forced to adapt to it. Moon's whole superstructure was breath-taking to see and i'm very glad that we got to explore an uninfected iterator while their antigravity and bugzappers didn't work. though it hurt to think about it cuz We Care Moon, i had a lot of fun slugging around her superstructure and using needle ladders to get around- OH YEAH i fuckin LOVE making needle ladders. i also really enjoyed the fact that you can make friends with the scavs like -snaps fingers- this fast thanks to the whole needle production thing. seeing Pebbles get angry like that was awesome. i'll admit that i really admire his anger and this sort of... "justice" seeking (?) he has going on that is heavily influenced by the game's/Ancient's religion. you can fight me on this but Pebbles is the least pathetic character in the entire game besides like Hunter, maybe NSH and Gour. i also got to meet the ugliest scav i've seen in RW so far and i'll prolly never forget the experience because i Just got thru the Underhang to the Wall (my first time going thru Underhang and using the grapple worms, i was dodging having to that for ages) and i was SO pissed and annoyed that i was just about ready to quit the game for that session but then i saw this ugly ass motherfucker just waltzing about and the sheer and sudden Horror and Affront of an Artist i've felt straight up snapped me out of my rage. LIKE GJLKDMKLSD that NEVER happened to me before Suns' design also kinda sorta actually plays into my little silly iterator color coding theory from two years ago which was fun to see! i'll still kick their fuckin ass Garbage Wastes need to be stopped. here are my fav screenies from my Spear playthru

for Saint i'm rn mostly like:

i don't fuckin know what why and how is happening and it feels like such a giant ass steppy from what i had grown used to with the base slugs that even though i'm very stern on myself with being open minded about everything all the time i'm having trouble adjusting to it kgjsalkmklsdgjklsd i don't trust myself with giving a solid verdict until i've beaten Saint myself. i'll prolly talk about it in my "finished the slug!" post when i do get thru 'em

finally rating of the campaigns: Monk - 7/10 Survivor - 8/10 Hunter - 9.5/10 Gourmand - 6.9/10 Artificer - 9/10 Rivulet - TBA Spearmaster - 10/10 Saint - TBA