#how lucky are we for irish talent

[denimbex1986]

We are lucky to be alive in the age of Andrew Scott, an actor of extraordinary breadth, skill and sensitivity, who can terrify as Jim Moriarty in Sherlock, make us fall in love (inappropriately) as the hot priest in Fleabag and cry in All of Us Strangers. He can also astonish, last year playing eight parts in a stage adaptation of Chekhov’s Uncle Vanya. He recently became the first actor to win the UK Critics’ Circle awards for best actor on stage and screen in the same year. And his latest project, Ripley, is a beautiful and chilling adaptation of the Patricia Highsmith novel The Talented Mr Ripley, with Scott playing the lead, dominating all eight one-hour episodes. It’s been a wild, crowning year for the 47-year-old Irish actor. But in March his mother, Nora, died of a sudden illness; she is who Scott has credited as being his foremost creative inspiration. His grief is fresh and intense and for the first half of the interview it seems to swim just beneath the surface of our conversation.

“We go through so many different types of emotional weather all the time,” he says. “And even on the saddest day of your life you might be hungry or have a laugh. Life just continues.” We are in a meeting room in his management company’s offices, talking about his ability, in his work, to modulate between emotions, to go from happy to sad, confused to scared, all within a matter of seconds. How does he do it? Scott laughs. “I would say that I have quite a scrutable face — is scrutable a word? — which is good or bad depending on what you are trying to achieve. But my job is to be as truthful as possible in the way that we are, and I don’t think that human beings are just one thing at any particular time. It is rare that we have one pure emotion.”

It’s an approach that is particularly appropriate for the playing of Tom Ripley, an acquisitive chameleon who inveigles his way into the lives of others (in this case Johnny Flynn, as the careless and wealthy Dickie Greenleaf, and his on-off girlfriend Marge, played by Dakota Fanning). “Ripley is witty, he is very talented. That’s gripping, to watch talent. I can’t call him evil — it is very easy to call people who do terrible things evil monsters, but they are not monsters, they are humans who do terrible things. Part of what she [Highsmith] is talking about is that if you dismiss a certain faction of society it has repercussions, and Ripley is someone who is completely unseen, he lives literally among the rats, and then there are these people who are gorgeous and not particularly talented and have the world at their feet but are not able to see the beauty that he can see.”

The show was written and directed by Steven Zaillian, the screenwriter of Schindler’s List. It’s set in Sixties New York and Italy, and filmed entirely in black-and-white, its chiaroscuro aesthetic evoking films of the Sixties — particularly those of Federico Fellini — while also offering an alternative to Anthony Minghella’s saturated late-Nineties iteration that starred Matt Damon and Jude Law. This has a darker flavour. “I found it challenging,” Scott says, “in the sense that he’s a solitary figure and ideologically we are very different. So you have to remove your judgment and try to find something that is vulnerable.”

It was a tough shoot, taking a year and filmed during lockdown. Scott was exhausted at the end of it and had intended to take a three-month break, but delays meant that he went straight from Ripley into All of Us Strangers. “Even though I was genuinely exhausted, it was energising because I was back in London, I was getting the Tube to work, there was sunshine,” he says. “I found it incredibly heartful, that film, there were so many different versions of love … I feel that all stories are love stories.”

All of Us Strangers, directed by Andrew Haigh, is about a screenwriter examining memories of his parents who died when he was 12. In it Scott’s character, Adam, returns to his family home, where his parents are still alive and as they were back in the Eighties. Adam is able to walk into the memory and to come out to his parents, finding the words that were unavailable to him as a boy. Some of it was filmed in Haigh’s childhood home, and there was a strong biographical element for him and his lead. Homosexuality was illegal in the Republic of Ireland until 1993, when Scott was 16. He did not come out to his parents until he was in his early twenties. I ask if he was working with his own childhood experiences in the film. “Of course, so in a sense it was painful, to a degree, but it was cathartic because you are doing it with people that you absolutely love and trust. I felt that it was going to be of use to people and I was right, it has been. The reaction to the movie has been genuinely extraordinary — it makes people feel and see things, and that isn’t an easy thing to achieve.”

The film is also a tender and erotic love story between Scott’s character and Harry, played by the Irish actor Paul Mescal. The two found a real-life kinship that made them a delight to watch on screen and off it, as a double act on the awards circuit. “I adore Paul, he’s so, so … continues to be …” Scott pauses. “Obviously it’s been a tough time recently and he just continues to be a wonderful friend. It’s everything. The more I work in the industry, I realise, you make some stuff that people love and you make some stuff that people don’t like, and all really that you are left with is the relationships that you make. I love him dearly.”

Scott and Mescal were also both notable on the red carpet for being extraordinarily well dressed. Scott loves fashion and has a big, well-organised wardrobe that he admits is in need of a cull. “I don’t like having too much stuff. I really believe that everything we have is borrowed — our stuff, our houses, we are borrowing it for a time. So I am trying to think of people who are the same size as me so I can give some of it away, and that’s a great thing to be able to do.” One of his favourite labels is Simone Rocha. “I love a bit of Simone Rocha. What a kind, glorious person she is. I just went to her show.” Fashion, he says, is in his DNA. “My mother was an art teacher, she was obsessed with all sorts of design. She loved jewellery and jewellery design. Anything that is visual, tactile, painting, drawing, is a big passion of mine, so I have tremendous respect for the creativity of designers.”

Today Scott is wearing Louis Vuitton trousers and a cropped Prada jacket, dressed up because he is collecting his Critics’ Circle award for best stage actor for Vanya. I ask how it feels to have won the double, a historic achievement. “Ah …” he says, looking at the table, going silent, having just been so voluble. “I’m sorry …” His voice cracks a little. “It’s bittersweet.”

At the ceremony Scott dedicated the award to his mother, saying of her “she was the source of practically every joyful thing in my life”. Is it difficult for him to carry on working in the circumstances, I wonder. “Well, you know, you have to — life goes on, you manage it day by day. It’s very recent, but I certainly can say that so much of it is surprising and unique, and there is so much that I will be able to speak about at some point.”

He is looking forward, he says, once promotion for Ripley is over, to taking some time off, going on holiday, going back to Ireland for a bit. He has homes in London and Dublin. To relax he walks his dog, a Boston terrier, dressed down in jeans and a hoodie “like a 12-year-old, skulking around the city” or goes to art galleries on the South Bank — he was considering a career as an artist until he was 17 and got a part in the Irish film Korea. He goes to the gym every day, “not, you know, to get …” he says, flexing his biceps. “More that it’s good for the head.” He is social, likes friends, likes a party. When I ask if he gave up drinking while doing Vanya, which required him to be on stage, alone, every night for almost two hours, he looks horrified. “Oh God, no! Easy tiger! Jesus … Although I didn’t drink much, I did have to look after myself. But we had a room downstairs in the theatre, a little buzzy bar, because otherwise I wouldn’t see anybody, so I was delighted to have people come down.”

Scott was formerly in a relationship with the screenwriter and playwright Stephen Beresford and is currently single, although this is not the sort of thing he likes to talk about. He is protective of his privacy, not wanting to reveal where he lives in London, or indeed the name of his dog — but he swerves such questions with a gentle good humour.

He is famous on set for being friendly and welcoming, for looking after other people. “The product is very important, but most of my time is spent in the process, so I want that to be as pleasant and kind as possible. I feel like it is possible to do that, that it is an honourable goal.” He is comfortable around people, with an easy charm — no one I have interviewed before has said my name so many times. And although when we talk he sometimes seems reflective or so very sad, there are also moments when he is exuberant, silly, putting on accents. “I feel like, as a person, I am quite near my emotions. I cry easily and I laugh easily, and there is nothing more pleasurable to me than laughing.”

Scott was raised a Catholic and is no longer practising, but says his view about religion is “ever changing — I definitely have a faith in things that cannot be proved”. When he was younger and felt overwhelmed, just before or after an audition, he would go to the Quaker Meeting House in central London and sit in silence, something that made its way into the second series of Fleabag, in which Scott’s priest takes Waller-Bridge’s character to that same meeting house. “It’s just around here,” he says, standing up, looking out of the window at Charing Cross Road. “When Phoebe and I first talked, we met at the Soho Theatre. We talked about love and religion, we walked all around here. And I said, ‘This is a place I go,’ so we called in and there was no one there, so we sat in there and we talked. It was a really magical day.”

Scott says he sees all the different characters that he has played as versions of himself. “It’s like, ‘What would this version of me look like?’ rather than, ‘Oh, I’m going to be somebody else.’ You filter it through you, and you discover more about yourself. I think that is a very lucky thing to be able to do, to find out more about yourself in the short time that we are here.”

[dailyniallnews]

Interview with Niall Horan, ex frontman of One Direction

If the global success with One Direction is now far behind, the fortune that Niall Horan is enjoying as a solo artists is very current. His third album was just released. Emblematic title: The Show, and the show could not get better than this. Article by Leonardo Clausi

Precisely because this is the new age of anxiety (from the title of the poem by W. H. Auden The Age of Anxiety, 1947, and from Symphony n. 2 by Leonard Bernstein inspired by it, 1949), Public Health around the world should prescribe listening to Niall Horan. As anti-anxiety medicine, tonic for the psyche, emotionally restorative medicine. Really, who else in the modern soft rock world is as capable of tuning in for ten tracks on an equally balmy wavelength, without ever straying into drama or comedy, as Horan does on The Show, third album since he went solo after the dissolution of One Direction, the (boy)band who competed with the Beatles in music sales? Not even the much more wanted colleague Harry Styles, with his unapologetic Bowie-ism that annoyed Tony Visconti so much.

30-year-old Horan doesn't have the same ambitions. We could easily ask him to go and pick out our daughter from school because he is so.. fragrant? Since 2016 - without stopping except from when forced by the pandemic - he's been writing music and bringing it on tour. A constant motion of three albums, the feverish craftsmanship of a diligent entertainer devoted to the career that he was raised in thanks to the shortcut, sometimes a brutal one, with which talent shows have short-circuited the discography and industry of A&R (Artists and Repertoire). We intercept him as he drives, always busy as a bee. "I just came back from America yesterday. Today I am in Liverpool. It's constant travelling, I spend most of my time jetlagged". He is understandably satisfied with his latest discographic effort, which will become the center of the homonymous The Show Live on Tour, with the Italian stop on 21st March 2024 at the Mediolanum Forum in Milan: "I spent a lot of time writing and producing it during the pandemic and the year after. I’m happy, the response has been very, very interesting around the world". Not surprising, considering the melodic quality of the tracks, touched by the Californian light of the Laurel Canyon, with vocal harmonies reminiscent of the Beach Boys, and references to the Eagles and Fleetwood Mac. "I trusted that I could write a song. I knew I had the ability to do it. I just needed to trust that I could get a guitar, or sit at a piano, and something good would come out of it. It's out, but you never know. I need to keep my head down, work hard and see".

The 70s were his first introduction to music through records (or vinyls, as hipsters say), which were floating around the house; the real love however started "when I realised how lucky I was to have grown up with music that stayed with me to this day. My parents had a large album collection. I still listen to a lot of them now. When I’m in the studio I often use analogue mixing desks, it’s an important part of the sound I’m looking for". Speaking of the search for the 'organic' sound that digital audio is not able to embody all the way, what does he think of artificial intelligence, now that creators in the entertainment industry are taking the streets as well to protest against forcibly becoming obsolete? "Artificial intelligence can really do a lot, but it can’t give you that feeling that I call the human touch. It couldn’t write 'Hey Jude' or any other masterpiece. Humans will always have the upper hand".

Horan's Irishness is a prominent element of his personality, that proud affability that made his country a cultural superpower despite its size. And that was worth the warm reception of none other than the POTUS, who is also a descendent of the Celtic diaspora. "For how small the nation is, the relevance we have worldwide is amazing. Only five million inhabitants, and yet our culture of drinking, night life, musical or literary traditions are known everywhere. It's something I always keep in mind and want to show off as much as possible. And yes, I was invited at Washington to meet Joe Biden". Understandably, the fact excites him: "It was crazy that someone from a small town like mine (Mullingar, northwest of Ireland, ed.) ended up playing for the President of the United States at the White House. I still can't believe it". Not to mention the fact that, from a particularly bigot and conservative society that it once was, Ireland is now one of the most advanced and liberal ones of the West. "I'm not sure how it happened, but I am very proud of it. It was great to see it become one of the first countries to have gay marriage, for example. And I’m proud that it’s acting as a catalyst for change in other countries".

And does he know U2, this compatriot up and coming group? Would he collaborate with them? "Some of my all time favourite songs are by U2, their shows are some of the best I’ve ever been to. It would be great to do something with them if they ever ask". Coming from one of the best selling bands meant that there was a challenging precedent to compete with. But Niall Horan is doing great. It's impossible to refrain from asking about a 1D reunion. "It’s a busy time for everyone, so no, not that I know of. We keep in touch but everyone’s doing their own thing. Louis is touring in America, Liam is working on his music, Harry’s busy on the biggest world tour... In fact, if you hear about a reunion, please let me know".

[gumnut-logic]

“Another boy?”

Jeff grinned. “Yeah. Another one.” He couldn’t help but stare at the photo that had landed on his screen as a good luck token from Earth.

He did of course, know about Lucille going into labour the night before and it was for that reason he hadn’t had the sleep he probably should have pre-history making Mars landing. But honestly, to get this signal from that little blue planet a good eight months away…his heart swelled…his beautiful baby boy had a shock of red hair that screamed their Irish ancestry down through the hundreds of years since their family had left the old world.

Lucille sat holding him, looking tired but ever so proud. Her dark hair was tied back and the sparkle in her eyes brought a lump into his throat. Her mother, pink hair and all, sat beside his wife holding his two eldest boys on her lap. Scott had his hand on Virgil’s arm as the now second youngest reached over towards his baby brother, a frown of concentration on his face.

“He’s beautiful.”

Jeff startled a little. Berry was breaking regs and leaning over the back of Jeff’s pilot couch, her straps unfastened. The cockpit was pretty snug in the lander, most of the room taken up with safety equipment and interfaces, leaving little for the padded personnel support.

He shot an eyebrow in her direction and she smiled a dare back at him. The astrogeologist wasn’t one for breaking the rules, she just liked to taunt him a little.

Ju, in contrast, was checking her harness was secure a second time. “Creating your own crew, Tracy?” Her auburn eyes smirked at him. “Aiming to replace us?”

He grinned. “Could be.” Dare he mention that his four-year-old eldest could already name all the controls in this cockpit? His grin widened. “But we can’t replace the first person to set foot on Mars, now can we?”

Berry snorted, a little abashed. But it was, after all, her part to play once they made touchdown. The words had been rehearsed, the order of exit decided. For very specific reasons, the first human on Mars was going to be Kate Berrenger.

Berry had worked her ass off to make this mission a reality. Her specialisation onboard was astrogeologist, but honestly it was far more. The woman was talent on legs. It was she who had designed much of the equipment they were deploying on the surface, she who had hunted and gathered the funding, she who had put in the sweat and tears to make this work. And Ju wasn’t far behind. The two of them were quite a powerhouse pair. Jeff considered himself and Lee lucky to have been chosen for this mission. Of course, he’d known Berry for a very long time, worked with her for most of it, but it wasn’t a given that the team that had helped populate the moon would also be the first on Mars.

“Given how many life support pods we’re dragging down there, I bet your boys could drop by in about thirty years or less.”

“You gonna put your money where your mouth is, Berry?” The thought was tantalising. Not to put pressure on any future careers – Lucy would kill him – but he would hope that at least one out of three might follow in his footsteps.

Maybe?

He turned around and opened his mouth, only to be interrupted. “Major Tracy, tell your team to secure. Two minutes to separation.” Sinclair was his usual grumpy, nervous self.

“Roger that, Orbiter Control.”

He glared at Berry and the redhead bit her lip with a smile, green eyes dancing, before sitting back and strapping herself in preparation for the sequence.

She didn’t stop smiling though.

“So watcha gonna name him?” Lee prodded him with his eyebrows from beside Jeff.

A last glance at the photo before he returned to separation prep, fingers tight in his gloves. “Are you going to remember this one?” An eye in the engineer’s direction.

“Sure.”

Running his fingers over the controls, Jeff ran through pre-flight. “Name my eldest.”

Lee grunted, his eyes darting away. “Not important right now.” A flick of a switch. “I’m green across the board.”

“A-ok.” Jeff ran through the last sequence of checks…and ran them again…for luck. “Orbiter Control, we are green for separation.”

“Roger that, Cornerstone. Separation in sixty seconds on my mark.” A breath. “Mark.” Another pause. “Good luck.”

And the countdown began.

Jeff ran his eyes over everything again. The great ship that had journeyed so far from home was preparing to split in half. The lander at the top of the vessel was to pull away from the orbiter and its massive propulsion engines to begin the historic descent to the Martian surface. Eight months in space, so much preparation time and so many sacrifices before that, had all led to this moment.

History in the making.

His eyes combed the readouts watching like a hawk. The computer had control, but computers could only do so much.

Still green across the board.

Quiet, his fingers touched the screen where the photo had been. “John Glenn Tracy.” A breath. “His name is John.”

Displays shifted as the countdown hit zero and machinery grunted. The Cornerstone drifted apart from its propulsion module and floated free far above the red of the Martian surface.

Jeff eyed his instrumentation and sent a prayer to his family back home.

Today was an important day.

-o-o-o-

Lee watched Jeff side-on as he clicked his helmet into place. Taylor was a realist and he knew he wouldn’t be here without the crazy pilot.

It was Jeff’s drive that had gotten them this far. It was like riding a rollercoaster of determination and outright luck. From the Airforce, through space training and their sojourns on Alfie, Lee had tied himself to the man’s coat tails and hadn’t looked back.

God, it had been fun.

Jeff Tracy was a tsunami that crashed through everything and took everyone with him.

And Lee went willingly.

When they had been chosen for this mission it was a dream come true.

The countdown dropped to zero and machinery clunked as the lander separated smoothly from the orbiter. She drifted momentarily before the computer engaged thrusters to push her gently out of orbital alignment.

“We are five by five for atmospheric entry.” The words he uttered were almost rote after so many practise simulations back on Earth.

Atmospheric entry on Mars was considerably different to entry on Earth. Terran atmosphere was more like soup in comparison to the barely-there Martian atmosphere. Still made for a warm entry though, friction was friction after all.

“Trajectory achieved.” Jeff’s voice was confident and firm. As always.

Lee eyed the computer readouts, mentally ticking off procedure as the lander dipped into the outer reaches of the atmosphere and shifted to its entry interface.

Forces wrapped themselves around Lee and his body responded. After so many months of weightlessness, this was going to be a challenge.

“Ready for deceleration burn.”

The landing module sported early entrance stage retro thrusters designed to slow the vehicle to reduce the friction on the spacecraft’s skin. A new innovation that had proven essential in many return trips to the moon in preparation for the creation of a habitable dome on the satellite.

And here they were attempting to do something similar on Mars.

Cornerstone shook as her thrusters engaged exactly on time.

The craft roared.

Lee revelled in it.

“Three minutes to subsonic.”

“I really hate this bit.” It was barely heard above the commotion.

Lee snorted to himself. Ju was an astronaut in every sense, but she had a thing regarding atmospheric entry and the microscopic bits they could be exploded into if something went wrong.

“We are on track, Ju. Not a thing to worry about.” His voice reassurance itself, Jeff could sell the moon cheese if he so felt like it.

“Orbiter to Cornerstone. Tracy, we have a problem.”

Lee blinked. Sinclair’s voice was ominous.

“Orbiter, detail?”

“Cornerstone, weather has kicked up on the landing site. We have a developing dust storm. Looks to be a big one.”

“Orbiter, we are fixed for descent. Please advise severity.” Jeff’s tone was frustrated and Lee couldn’t help but echo it.

Data landed in Lee’s console and while Jeff continued to monitor their descent, Lee examined the situation. “We have a category five dust storm developing over the landing site. Orbiter is right, she looks like she could actually do some damage.”

Mars dust storms were generally all gust and no guts. The air density and pressure forced storms that were dramatic to look at, but generally little more than a windy day on planet Earth. This one, however... “It’s an anomaly.”

Jeff’s eyes darted from his console to Lee’s, grey eyes assessing the data. “Ju, your opinion?” They had to make the decision fast. Altering their trajectory now was possible, but fuel was precious. Any extra used now narrowed their safety margin for later.

The meteorologist’s fingers darted over her board. “Unusual strength, I agree.” Lee glanced in her direction as she frowned. “But Cornerstone should be able to handle it.”

“‘Should’ is not a good enough assumption, Zhang.” Jeff was frowning. The lander’s retros cut out as they reached a safe enough velocity to manoeuvre and Jeff’s hands curled around the yoke.

Lee’s finger darted over his board and brought up the outside cameras.

The red planet stretched out before them, her slightly blue tinted atmosphere contrasting against the rust of her surface.

That surface was churning.

Ju was outraged. “How the hell did that develop in the time it took us to separate from Orbiter? She was as calm as a sleeping baby!”

“I don’t care about then, I need now. Zhang, recommendation!”

The woman grunted. “I say go. If you think you can handle it. It is well within Cornerstone’s specs. Your decision, Major.”

Jeff’s lips thinned, his eyes darting across the readouts. A moment and he hit the comms switch. “Orbiter, we are go for landing. We’ve come this far, might as well go all the way.”

“Tracy, are you sure?”

“Humanity never got anywhere taking it easy.” He glanced at Lee. “Hold onto something.”

Cornerstone began her turn, orientating her nose to the sky so her retros could lower her safely to the Martian surface.

Or in Jeff Tracy terms, ‘spinning so she could park her ass’.

As if reading Lee’s mind, the glint in Jeff’s eyes was something to both be wary of and to celebrate.

Out of the four of them, Jeff was the most reckless, the most daring. But as he was the pilot, it sometimes called for it. Jeff had already saved them from becoming just another crater on Earth’s moon by pulling the most unconventional manoeuvre ever seen on the satellite when a landing thruster misfired on approach. The craft had shot off on a completely unpredicted vector that would have ploughed them into moon dust...if Jeff hadn’t reacted as fast as he did. He flipped the craft with its remaining three thrusters and, shedding the majority of their velocity in an energy dump that had Lee’s stomach on the outside, planted their craft like a sack of potatoes.

They had landed roughly, but they had landed alive and Lee was still amazed his friend had been able to do that.

So, if they were going down in a cloud of red dust, Lee was quite happy to have Jeff at the controls.

Not to say that Lee himself wasn’t handy with a spacecraft. He had his own experience to be proud of. He flew, but his realm was more the mechanical. He was here as back up and maintenance.

For those times the Tracy fix wasn’t quite enough.

A sigh. He eyed the billowing clouds below as they rapidly approached. They were history in the making. Whatever happened here today would be taught in schools for decades to come.

He had faith in Jeff. They would land, Berry would take those first important steps on a new planet, say the rehearsed words, and join Neil Armstrong in the halls of fame.

But first they had to get there.

-o-o-o-

Jeff swallowed as the cloud of dust loomed beneath the lander. Numbers scrolled across his console. The computer should be able to handle most of it. Its programming was solid. Lucy had made sure of it.

The thought of his beautiful wife...little Johnny.

Dust swelled and wrapped around their craft and visibility became...bad.

Cornerstone shuddered.

Mars dust was a bastard of a thing. Ever so fine and carrying a tiny electric charge that on occasion interfered with instruments.

This was one of those occasions.

“We have blackout on three primary sensors.” Damn. Two others flickered, the screen fritzing a moment.

His fingers darted over controls in an attempt to compensate for the data loss.

Lee was muttering beside him and stabbing at his board. “Rerouting to back-ups.”

Their screens flickered and cleared somewhat.

Numbers plummeted.

Beyond the blinding dust the digital readout that marked the surface of the planet approached.

Far too fast.

Retros crucial to start the landing sequence did not fire.

Shit.

It took seconds for him to compensate and move to manual, but that was enough for the craft to fall many more metres so, when he did manually trigger the burn, they were lower than they should be.

Cornerstone roared as he pushed more energy into braking.

“Lee, we need primary thrust or we are so much pancake!” Her four landing thrusters were not slowing them enough. The math in his head was churning out a fatal result and their history-making attempt was fast turning into a shitfest. “I need that power now.”

“You have it.” Short and sharp as Lee’s hands darted over his console.

On Jeff’s board the main thruster icon lit up.

It wasn’t meant to be used this way. The main thruster was for launching. It was far more powerful than they needed to land. But if he didn’t slow Cornerstone, she was going to take on a big red rock and lose.

The computer ran calculations and spat numbers out at him.

“Firing main thruster.” The icon flashed, Cornerstone roared and g-forces wrapped around all of them and squeezed.

No one said anything for the second of burn that slowed their descent ever so rapidly. Everything shook, the ship’s superstructure groaning.

Jeff’s eyes tracked their velocity, counting down as the surface of the planet rushed towards them. Visually they couldn’t see it. Virtually it looked ready to slap them in the face.

But the main thruster compensated, slowing the craft just enough for the landing rockets to do their job.

Jeff killed the big one and concentrated on the landers to take the last of their speed.

Cornerstone slowed. Five hundred metres. Four hundred metres. Three hundred metres. Two hundred metres. One hundred metres. Landing struts deployed. Fifty. Thirty. Twe-

The whole ship slammed to a stop, its structure groaning and tilting for a second before righting itself. Alarms began shrieking, red lights flashing all over his board.

What the hell?!

The readout had them stalled nineteen metres ‘above’ the virtual surface. Virtual was obviously not lining up with actual.

Another metallic groan and the ship tilted slightly again. This time it stayed tilted. No doubt a landing strut had taken the brunt and folded.

One red light screamed at him more than the others.

Beside him, Lee confirmed his fears. “We have a fuel leak.”

Shit!

He was unstrapping himself even as the craft groaned again. Something sparked not far away. Lee was a split second behind, listing the reason for the malfunction. The exterior hull, and the mangled landing strut responsible.

A rupture in the external hull. Hell.

Jeff undocked a diagnostic pad and slapped it on his belt.

Martian gravity made itself known. So many months without its native pull, Jeff’s body protested the sudden movement, but they didn’t have time. Precious fuel was escaping.

He hit the ladder leading out of the cockpit at a run, feet locking around the struts and his hands pushing him down. The whole sensation of gravity, but only a third of Earth’s was baffling. His body caught between expectations and stumbling along the way. Ultimately, he partly fell his way down through the access ports, hands grabbing at the railings barely preventing him from colliding with each deck.

Cornerstone’s fuel tanks were attached to her four landers, with a fifth fueling her main launcher.

It was number three that was the problem.

His boots hit decking and he scrambled for the airlock. Beside him Lee had a toolkit and they both barrelled through the door sealing it behind them.

The pumps cycled and the pressure dropped, their suits shifting with the change, and then the elevator was lowering them to the ground.

As the doors opened, they were faced with a wall of swirling dust.

Jeff did his best to ignore it but it fast became a problem. The maintenance tab in his hand was directing him to climb ladders up the side of the vehicle, but he could barely see the tablet, much less the ladders themselves through the red dust.

“Stick close, Lee. I’d hate to lose you in this.”

“Right behind you, Jeff. Wouldna want to lose you either.”

It was simple, but reassuring nonetheless. Fumbling, he found the landing strut. It was skewed in a way that even in the thick swirling haze, he could see was far from the right angle for correct support.

Hooking a foot into the lowest rung, he snagged his friend and urged him up the ladder ahead. If anyone was going to save their asses in this situation, it was Lee.

If Jeff could land it, chances were Lee could fix it. The man could jimmy two sticks and a rubberband into whatever was needed. Hell, he’d done almost exactly that on the moon at least twice.

This was just another challenge. Jeff had landed them, no matter how roughly. Now Lee would be able to fix it.

Jeff clung to that maxim.

But the question wasn’t about skill, it was more about whether or not they were going to damn well be able to see what they needed to see in order to do what needed doing.

Red obscured everything. The speed it was all flying past spoke to his earth senses of gale force winds, but the pressure on his suit was little more than a windy day.

Not enough to affect the spacecraft.

Mars was obviously educating them early that this was not Earth. Not in any way shape or form.

Their clamber up the strut was partly a blind one, but they made it to the damaged side of the craft. Through a mixture of touch and virtual readout, it became clear that the outer hull had buckled, forcing the inner hull into the fuel tank. Most of it had held, but there was a small microfracture and the pressure differences were bubbling solid state fuel into gas at a rate that, if it didn’t deplete the tank, would likely cause an explosion that would solve all their problems with a history-making finality.

Jeff climbed up beside Lee as he fumbled at his tool kit. The tank was dislodged off its mounts, something they would need to remedy later, but it was still inset from the hull.

Jeff put his body in position to block the main flow of the dust and wind, jamming himself up against the still warm hull of his ship.

A little less dust swirled over the bubbling crack and Lee didn’t hesitate. Before Jeff could blink, gell bondtape landed smoothly over the area, the engineer sealing it with an electronic nudge from a set-wand. The electricity lined molecules up like soldiers and locked them in place bonding them to whatever the tape was adhered to. They had used the same stuff on Alfie two years ago when one of their habitats had tried to make one with the lack of lunar atmosphere.

An extremely simple solution for a very dangerous problem.

His heart, still adrenalin-fueled, refused to believe the danger was over.

As if reading Jeff’s thoughts, Lee smirked at him through the haze. “Never leave home without it.” A sigh as he ran a gloved hand over the seal. “This should hold for the short term. Once we are sure the strut is stabilised, I’ll give it a good going over. Hopefully, we can lose this storm in the process.”

Jeff would have liked to claim it couldn’t blow forever, but both of them knew Mars storms could be unpredictable and last for months if they so chose to.

Lee ran a scanner over the strut’s connection to the launcher. How the hell the engineer could see the readouts, Jeff didn’t know.

For all future excursions to the Red Planet, Jeff was going to recommend helmet based heads-up displays.

“She’s safe for now. A little bent, but she isn’t going to fall over. Hopefully, once we get out some of the heavy lifting equipment we can bend her back into shape if we need to.” Lee stood up. “Hull patching is going to be an ass, though.”

Jeff’s lips thinned and he dropped a hand onto his friend’s shoulder. “One thing at a time. We’ve got this, Lee.”

Lee grunted. “How the hell do you keep spinning the optimism, Jeff?”

A snort. “What? You’d prefer doom and gloom?” He shuffled back towards the ladder. “That’s it, Lee, we’re never leaving this god forsaken rock. Welcome to your new home.” He raised up his hands and as if the gods declared him some kind of Moses for that very moment, the dust clouds parted as if they were a red sea of sand. Sol, so much smaller this far away, poked its weak light through the hazy atmosphere and lit up the bare red rocks of their temporary home. While on one side, the billowing wall of dust storm swirled on its way, on the other red mountains rose up to a weak blue-red sky.

Lee shifted down beside him. “You know, I figured you had an agreement with the gods of physics, but isn’t this a little ridiculous?”

Jeff was too captivated with the view to respond.

Cornerstone was on the plateau they had been simulating for months on end. She stood tall and proud, if a little crooked and pinker than her promo shots.

“We made it.” The words fell from his lips.

Lee clung to the ladder beside him. “Yeah, that we did.”

Sunlight flickered weakly in the atmosphere and a gust of wind dragged more dust across the view.

Jeff shifted. “We better get inside before that mess starts up again. Take advantage of being able to see where we are going.”

Lee didn’t respond immediately, his eyes combing the jagged horizon. “Thanks, Jeff.”

A frown. “For what?”

“Getting us here.”

“It was a group effort, Lee, you know that. Couldn’t have done it without the team. Couldn’t have done it without you. Hell, you just patched a hole that could have blown us up.”

Lee grunted.

“Are you guys going to hang outside all day, or do we have to guess the sitrep?” Berry’s tone was tight.

“Roger, Berrenger. Situation secure. On our way back in.”

It wasn’t until they reached the elevator that he realised exactly what had happened.

And who he was.

By the doors, protected by the shadow of the lowered module was a single footprint that hadn’t been blown away by the wind.

“Aw, hell.”

Lee, as always, stepped up beside him. “Yeah. I guess that makes you the first man to walk on Mars.”

-o-o-o-

Ju was furious. “It was Kate’s right to be the first!”

The vacs in the airlock had sucked everything off their suits to the point Lee was surprised his hair wasn’t standing on end despite the helmet.

As it was, his hackles were somewhere near orbit as they stood in the conference room that doubled as a mess. “And what exactly do you think we were supposed to do? The ship was going to explode.” It was simple to Lee. Sure, he was all for equality, it was a given, but they would’ve been all equally dead if he and Jeff hadn’t done what they did.

“You didn’t give us a chance!”

“I’m the engineer here, Zhang. There wasn’t time! The decision was made and we are alive because of it.”

“Then why weren’t you first, Taylor? Why the hell was Tracy even out there? He’s not the engineer!”

Beside Lee, Jeff straightened. “Standard procedure, Zhang. We work in pairs. If you think I was going to let Lee go out in that on his own, you’ve been serving while wearing a blindfold.”

The short, dark-haired woman stepped up to the Major, her eyes fiery. “It was Kate’s place in history and you stole it!”

Lee flared. “We did what was necessary! This was not a publicity grab, for Christ’s sake! It didn’t even occur to us until we were returning. It was about saving our lives, Zhang. How can you possibly think it was anything else?”

“Because it always is.” She waved a hand at Jeff. “Always the hotshot. Always the first. Always the hero. Do you ever think, Tracy? Do you ever think about those you barrel past?”

Jeff glared down at the meteorologist. “I will not apologise for my achievements, Zhang. This was an honest to god accident.”

“Due to decisions made by you.”

“What the hell, Zhang?!” Lee pushed forward. That was taking it too far.

“We should never have tried to land in that dust storm. We should have waited it out.”

“You said we could take it!”

“But it wasn’t my decision, was it?” Her tone was a positive hiss at Jeff.

“Screw you, Zhang-“

“Taylor!”

“Jeff-“

The man was still the damn tall walking wall when he wanted to be. “Lee, stop.” He glared at Ju. “I will not apologise for my command decisions either, Zhang. What was done, is done.” His stance softened as he turned to Berry.

She had been ominously quiet the entire time.

Jeff sighed. “I’m sorry, Kate.”

The red-haired astrogeologist straightened away from the bulkhead, her arms still folded across her chest. Lee had always liked Berry. She had her head on much straighter than Ju ever did.

Ju was like a terrier with a bone.

The bone variety today was definitely Jeff-flavoured.

But there was only kindness in Berry’s eyes as she looked up at the Major. “This sucks, Jeff, it really does.” She looked down a moment. “But it is what it is and I guess it was what it was meant to be.” A shrug. “I suppose I’ll have to settle for third on Mars. Still pretty momentous, I think.”

“Kate, it doesn’t have to be that way.” Jeff took a step towards her. “It’s not official. It was a stupid repair. We can do the ceremonial step onto the planet anyway. No one has to know.”

Her head tilted to one side. “So, the ship miraculously healed itself?”

“Berry-“

She closed the gap between them, placing a hand on his arm. “Jeff, honestly, it’s not what is important here. You took the first step. We still have plenty of others that need to be taken. My ego can keep.”

Zhang flared again. “Kate, this was for women-“

“Ju, enough. It doesn’t matter! Humans have just landed on Mars, for god’s sake. I would have thought we would be a little less worried about the gender of the person taking the first step and more worried about the fact we did it without blowing up.”

“It was supposed to be you.” Ju wilted in defeat under Berry’s glare.

“Well, it was Jeff, and I think he is no less deserving than any of us.”

Jeff’s voice was quiet. “Are you sure, Kate?” The use of her first name was a rarity for the major, there was a friendship between those two almost as long as the one between Jeff and Lee. Hell, if Jeff hadn’t met Lee’s sister, Lucy, the engineer wondered what might have eventuated in that department.

Not that he had ever had to worry about that. Jeff was a complete sop for Lucy. His sis had the man wrapped around her little finger.

If that made Lee feel just that touch more protective of the crazy pilot, then so be it.

Kate straightened, her shoulders strong. “I’m sure.” Then her lips curled up a little. “Besides, my lines were so much more elegant than ‘Stick close, Lee. I’d hate to lose you in this.’”

Jeff snorted and shrugged. “If I’m going to make history gotta make sure my best friend is with me.”

Zhang made a disgusted sound and stormed out of the room.

Shoulders dropping, Jeff sighed. “Guess I need to work on my phrasing.”

But Lee was too wrapped in the moment, a little too proud and grateful to care. “She’ll live.”

The grunt from Jeff reminded Lee that they still had months to share living quarters with the fiery Ju.

“Don’t worry, I’ll talk to her.” Berry squeezed Jeff’s arm before reaching out to Lee as well. “Thank you, both of you, for getting us down safely. We’re on Mars, guys. Let the party begin.”

The smile in her eyes was honest and ever so heartening.

-o-o-o-

[nialls-gorgeous-colors]

Shawn Mendes and Niall Horan Timeline

Year 2018

JAN 2018 NIALL’S ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAWN’ PICTURE AND SHAWN’S PICTURE OF THEM AT THE AMAS ARE, RESPECTIVELY, THEIR MOST LIKED POSTS ON IG FOR 2017

Jan 25 2018 Shawn talks about The Collab on The Voice: We’re really good friends and I mean, we hang out all the time. And we’re always like, ‘we should write a song’ and then we’re planning on writing a song, and we just end up hanging out. Always. (He said something similar back in Nov before the AMAs.)

Mar 2018

Fans, uh:

Mar 25 Shawn talks The Collab on The Weekend Countdown: My favorite thing about Niall is his sense of humor. He has this hilarious, Irish sense of humor that really cracks me up… How soon until there’s a collab? I have no idea. He’s always on tour when I’m writing, and he’s always writing when I’m on tour. So, one day. Hopefully.

MAY 2018

May 13 Shawn talks about performing at the O2: I mean performing the O2 was obviously just a complete dream of mine –and lucky enough to be able to do 2 nights there. A lot of people who I really love came and saw the show. Niall Horan, who’s a good friend of mine, came and watched me, and that was you know, a very special moment to me.

May 17 Shawn asks the audience at his Apple Music show to send Niall well wishes: Everybody watching online, if you could just tweet at Niall ‘feel better’ that would be really sweet.

Apple does, Niall replies:

May 24 Shawn talking about his most liked IG pic: This next photo is one of my favorite photos. Not because I’m sitting with Niall, because in the background, my A&R from Island Records, Ziggy, is there and he just looks so blow away by something and I have no idea… Also, the girl in between is making a hilarious face. That’s an awesome photo. I think this is like my most liked photo on Instagram, actually.

MAY 27 THE BIGGEST WEEKEND

Shawn and Niall do an interview together for BBC – FINALLY.

Transcribed in full here. Highlights include (via DailyNiall):

Bonus: we know, Nick

JUNE 2018

Jun 4 Niall does an interview with Fitzy & Wippa:

Sarah: Hey Niall, over the weekend… I was watching this thing on Instagram, and it was you and Shawn Mendes. Are you two just a little bit into each other? It was coming across as that you’re kind of obsessed.

Niall: Definitely not. They kept asking us questions that would make us answer it like that. Kind of like with [unintelligible], everyone thinks they’ve got a thing going on. Nah, we’re good mates. Just sat us down and interviewed us.

Sarah: I did hear you say that he plays you demos of his music before he takes it public. Was that true, or was that a lie?

Niall: No, that’s true, yeah. What’s wrong with that?

Sarah: Nothing! I just thought it’s amazing. We’re such big Shawn Mendes fans here. It was nice to see.

Interviewer: And are you brutally honest with him? If there’s a song you don’t like, or you think he could change? Do you tell him, or are you always like ‘mate, dude, this is amazing’?

Niall: Well, he’s on a bit of a roll at the minute. There’s nothing really…

Interviewer: He’s a very talented man. Have you ever thought of doing a song with Shawn? Have you guys actually put lyrics together, or music together?

Niall: No, we haven’t. We get asked about it a lot, to be fair… It’s kind of like –when we’re in the same place at the same time. Like, the other day we were in LA and a group – me and him and a group of our mates, we went to watch a U2 gig. We didn’t like – when we’re together, when we’re in the same city we don’t like sit in the studio together. Which we probably should get around to, but for the most part we just hang out together, to be honest.

Jun 7 Niall talks about Shawn during soundcheck:

and during #AskLateLateShawn: “if you had to create a boy band, who would you pick to be in it with you?” James and Shawn pick Jimi Hendrix, Harry Styles, Niall, and Elvis.

AUGUST 2018

Aug 20 At the VMAs Shawn is asked: What do you think about Niall Horan and Hailee?

Shawn: Niall and Hailee? They’re two of my favorite people in the whole world. Niall is one of my greatest friends. Hailee is one of the first people – you know, when she first started out, I was one of the first people she worked with in music. And I love them both. I thought this was common knowledge? I guess it was common knowledge for me, I’m close friends with them both.

NOVEMBER 2018

Nov 12 Shawn’s voice can be heard in the background of Niall’s InstaStory

NOV 17 SHAWN POSTS PICTURES OF HIM AND NIALL AT 40LOVE TO SNAPCHAT, INSTAGRAM, AND INSTASTORY: PICTURE, VIDEO (PUT THAT TONGUE AWAY HORAN)

DECEMBER 2018

Dec 4 Shawn talks about Niall during an interview with ET Canada.

Interviewer: You recently posted a photo with Niall Horan. And everytime you guys post a photo, fans are like ‘oh they must we working together.’

Shawn: We’re not. Not yet. We will though. You know what, we started really seriously talking about it that night. 100 percent going to happen. Niall and I talk about this pretty much every time we see each other. The truth is that we’re just really, really good friends and we always really enjoy just hanging out. And sometimes you don’t get a lot of time to hang out, so that’s what we want to do, but we’ll get in.

Dec 7 Niall tweets Shawn about his Grammy nom

Dec 8 Shawn talks with B96 about his Grammy nominations. When told to choose between charcoal, a karaoke machine, and a Bentley for Camilla, Niall (“we chose Niall for you…”) and Taylor, Shawn says: Niall’s getting the charcoal – 100 percent, immediately… Niall definitely gets the charcoal. That’s what’s most important here.

Int: I love it, that was so easy.

Shawn: Oh yeah, no, two bags of charcoal.

Int: Why was that so easy for you to say?

Shawn: It’s what he deserves! No I’m kidding. I really am kidding. I love Niall. He actually tweeted out the nicest thing he’s ever said to me ever about the Grammys, he’s just like really proud of me and tweeted it out. Yeah, he’s a good friend of mine, that’s why I’m bugging him.

Dec 14

[theshowliveontour]

I’ve always been a ‘Team Niall’ type of guy.

Mind you, I wasn’t necessarily the biggest Directioner out there, but there was always something about Niall Horan that spoke to me. It’s easy to credit his voice as a mesmerizing blend of warmth and power, with his distinctive timbre that carries a hint of vulnerability, wherein you could easily note how his vocals effortlessly glide through melodies to evoke a sense of intimacy and authenticity. But still, it was also more than just his talent.

Through his time with One Direction, Horan was evidently one of the most distant and private members of the group, yet there was an undeniable transformation about seeing him come out of his shell when performing live. You could see it clearly from the low-resolution performance videos on YouTube, while some of us were lucky enough to see it nine years ago during One Direction’s 2015 show here. Others were even able to witness it further during his Manila stop for the ‘Flicker’ World Tour six years ago.

But over the past six years since we last saw him, the Irish heartthrob has continued to evolve at his craft as exemplified by his third and latest full-length album, The Show. And from what we’ve seen of the record, adapted live for “The Show” Live In Manila stop at the Mall of Asia Arena, this may very well be the most open and vulnerable we have seen Horan ever –– and perhaps the best that we’ve seen of him as of yet.

As I approached the steps of the Mall of Asia Arena last May 13, you could easily note the years-long build-up of fans waiting to see that side of Horan once more. Whether it was the long line of fans praying to buy any last-minute tickets made available from the booth, or the hundreds (if not thousands) of fans already queuing in line to be the first to enter the venue that caught you attention, the energy outside was close enough to pop off the roof of the 170,000 sq ft arena.

By the time the lights of the arena began to dim, the words “Oh my god, Niall! I love you Niall!” became a uniform chant that was heard all across every corner of the venue, which was only drowned out by the gradual rise of instrumentals that built up the ‘Showverture’ of Horan and his band’s entrance onto the stage. Every shriek you heard was filled with such conviction –– you could really feel the drought that several of his fans felt from his absence.

Kicking off the night with hit track “Nice To Meet Ya,” Horan had everyone hooked from the moment he said the lines “I like the way you talk.” Building upon the energy of the audience, he followed it up with a rocking (and quite impressive) medley of Stevie Nicks’ “Edge of Seventeen” (showcasing his love for classic rock tracks) that seamlessly blended in his performance of “Small Talk”. Hearing him fully embrace that sort of sound with an unabashed confidence was jaw-dropping to say the least, and surely an indicator that Horan has the chops to become a full-blown rock star from the ’70s.

“On a Night Like Tonight” and “On The Loose” were up next on the setlist, perfectly setting the tone for the high-octane energetic evening that was set to take place as the hours passed by further. Addressing those in attendance with palpable excitement, Horan cheerfully greeted them by asking; “Silly question, how are you all feelin’ tonight?” –– which was responded to with an uproar of high-pitched cheers and screams. As he expressed his gratitude to the audience, the One Direction alumnus reminisced about his last visit to the country and marveled at the sheer amount of people in the packed venue. “Thank you so much for filling up this place for me,” he exclaimed in his adorably Irish accent.

“It’s been six years, but I’ve missed you guys. Are you ready to sing as loud as you can?” he challenged the crowd. As for their response, the only thing you could make out of it was an unintelligible series of screaming and cheers that only amazed the Irish singer even more. “We’ll see about that,” he replied –– with a cheeky wink directed at the camera following his gaze.

Horan continued the set by performing the titular track of his latest record “The Show”, taking to the grand piano on stage to perform a soulful rendition of his track. It was a powerful moment that was as affecting as it was inspiring, for Horan’s impassioned vocal delivery rang true and straight into the hearts of his fans with every note. And by the time it hit its crescendo in the track’s bridge, you could already see the sea of lights waving across the entire arena –– which definitely moved me and everyone else present as sentimental as it sounds.

Picking up the energy back up, the Irish singer by inspired live renditions to “Cross Your Mind” and “If You Leave Me” that encouraged everyone to match his energy on stage. In fact, some fans even went above and beyond at the challenge, with their frenetic belting close to overpowering every lyric that was sung by Horan. It was an amusing display of fervor in real-time, even grabbing the awe and attention of Horan as he noted, “Wow, you played a good show [everyone] –– not that I was expecting anything less!”

To cool down following such an energetic exchange, Horan began his more intimate set for the night, delivering heartfelt and acoustic guitar-laden renditions to his hit tracks “Flicker”, “This Town”, and “You Could Start a Cult.” It was a great display of his versatility, channeling an entirely different sound that embraced a vulnerability we’ve only seen flickers of over time.

The rapport built up between the soft-rock singer and his fans was at a whole new level, with an unspoken level of intimacy evident from the soft whispering along the words of these songs, as a welcome accompaniment to Horan’s outstanding performance. Horan’s choice to integrate a rousing violin performance from his bandmate Emily Konhavi only intensified the ambiance inside the arena –– creating a moment of pure connection between Horan and his fans.

As he transitioned into the second half of his set, Horan took the time to interact with his fans directly, reading through the several signs held up from the standing pit of the venue to the full-sized tarpaulins hanging from the lower box section. “I skipped my final exam…just to watch you tonight…” reads the singer, only to burst into laughter at the immediate realization of what he just read. “I do hope they give you a make-up for that one, love” he further added –– showcasing his humor and personality from such a simple exchange

Reading the large-scale “Manila Lovers” banner hung up, he took the opportunity to give a shout-out to the official Philippine street team of Lovers stating; “I just received your special gift box earlier. I absolutely love it, so thank you so much for everything you’ve done for me and this show.” “You guys are absolutely something else!”

Horan then performed a radiant interpretation of his hit single “Heaven”, which had people (even for a grown man like me) kicking their feet up in the air with just how warm and fuzzy it felt to hear the words “God only knows where this could go…Heaven won’t be the same” live and in person –– as if we were deluded into the fact that was singing it directly to us from the stage. “Everywhere” only added to the delusion even further, yet it was his soulful rendition of “Night Changes” that changed the game for everyone in attendace.

When I tell you that the tears were shed during the latter track, I kid you not –– that actually did happen. With a rush of goosebumps flooding my skin, there was a massive wave of nostalgia that came over the entire arena. It’s tough to describe just how impactful hearing that song live after all these years felt, but my God, was it quite the experience. Even by the time the track was approaching its final chorus, the audience made sure not to overpower Horan’s vocals as they joined in singing it –– as if there was an unspoken bond between everyone present to appreciate this moment exactly as it was.

Though his performances to “Paper Houses”, “Meltdown”, “Mirrors’, and “Still” may have seemed like the closing leg of the show, it still felt like it was a bit too soon for the show to end. The crowd knew it and clocked it at that –– beginning an arena chant stating “Isa pa! Isa pa!” the heartthrob had no choice but to return for a just a few more songs.

Though the audience noticeably asked for One Direction’s “Stockholm Syndrome”, Horan decided to perform a delicate and emotional rendition of “Save My Life” –– a track that he dedicated to the Filipino audiences present. “I want to thank every one of you for spending the night here with me – and for spending your hard-earned money on this show. I know concert tickets aren’t exactly cheap in this economy, but I’m so grateful that you’re all here with me,” he quipped.

Teasing his desire to return to Manila as soon as he could, the 30-year-old singer added; “I don’t think we should make the wait six years again, [so] we have to make a deal. Not six years… seven!” –– to which his fans responded with a universal set of jeers and boos. As he laughed at his own joke, he replied back stating; “Alright, let’s make it eight [then]!”

For his final performance of the night, Horan played his debut hit single “Slow Hands” which had everyone clapping or holding up the lights of their phones. As someone handed him a folded Philippine flag, the Irish musician waved it proudly –– eliciting applause and cheers from everyone inside the Mall of Asia Arena.

Even as Horan bid farewell to his fans and took his final bow with his amazing band, it felt like you wanted more from him. Because with every song, every interaction, and every beat, Horan delivered more than just a concert; he delivered an experience — a testament to his undeniable talent and his genuine connection with his audience. Because as the lights turned back up and the cheers faded into silence, there still remained a bittersweet longing — a desire to rewind time and relive the magic once more.

For in that fleeting moment, Niall Horan didn’t just perform –– but he gave Manila “The Show” of their lives, proving just how far and impressive he’s come into his own career. It’s arguably the best we’ve seen from him, and perhaps the most open and interactive that he’s been with his fans (a fact that we absolutely adore).

More than just a welcome display of his talents, “The Show” Live in Manila served as a long-awaited homecoming of sorts for Horan –– with thousands of his Filipino Lovers more than willing to welcome him back to the country with open arms and an open heart. For in those two hours that we spent with Horan and his band –– I haven’t felt anything quite as intimate from the arena setting in the longest of times.

And for that, we’ll forever yearn for just one more encore.

[brian-in-finance]

Twitter

Twitter

Sinead O'Connor at her home in County Wicklow, Republic of Ireland in 2012. David Corio/Redferns/Getty Images

Caitríona Balfe, Michael Stipe and more pay tribute to Sinéad O’Connor

On Wednesday, as the news of Sinéad O’Connor’s death broke, many celebrities took to social media to pay tribute to the music icon.

As reported by Irish broadcaster RTE earlier in the day, O’Connor’s death was confirmed by a family statement. No cause of death was immediately available.

“I hope you are at peace,” actor Caitríona Balfe wrote on her Instagram page, adding “and with your baby boy. Thank you for sharing your soul with us and soothing us with your incredible voice beautiful Sinéad.”

O’Connor contributed her vocals to the opening credits of Season 7 of acclaimed series “Outlander,” in which Balfe stars. The actor’s mention of O’Connor’s “baby boy” was in reference to the singer’s son Shane, who died by suicide at age 17 in 2022.

Michael Stipe, famed REM singer-songwriter, simply wrote on Instagram aongside a photo of him with O’Connor that “there are no words.” Stipe has spoken about how much he was influenced by O’Connor, telling the Washington Post in a 2020 interview that “so many people have lifted from her, from me to Miley Cyrus. She’s one of our great, living icons.”

Belinda Carlisle, lead vocalist of the all-girls 80s rock band The Go-Gos, wrote “may she find peace now. Forever loved,” on her Twitter page on Wednesday, while singer-songwriter Melissa Etheridge wrote on her page that news of O’Connor’s death “is such a tragedy.”

“What a loss. She was haunted all her life. What a talent,” Etheridge continued. “I remember my first Grammy show meeting this small shy Irish girl.”

The Cranberries – who lost their lead singer, the Irishwoman Dolores O’Riordan, in 2018 – shared a tribute on their official Instagram account, writing that they “are shocked and saddened to hear of Sinead’s sudden passing. We have all been big fans for many years. Our thoughts are with her family.”

Shirley Manson, lead singer of Garbage, posted in honor of O’Connor to the band’s Instagram page, writing, “I’m heartbroken.”

“This disgusting world broke her and kept on breaking her. Godspeed dear fragile dove,” the post continued. “Thank you for all the beauty and all the wise teachings you offered up to us. I wish you nothing but peace and I will love you for all of time.”

O’Connor’s contemporary Annie Lennox shared a poem in the late singer’s memory on her Instagram, beginning it with, “You bared your soul… | Shared your brilliance | Through exquisite artistry”.

Oscar-winner Jamie Lee Curtis penned a lengthy tribute to O’Connor on her Instagram page, saying, “I once heard Sìnead (sic) sing acapella in an empty chapel in Ireland. It was under construction at the private home of our host. It was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard in my life.”

“I loved her. Her music. Her life,” Curtis added, going on to reminisce about the time she spent with O’Connor at a music festival.

“Sixth Sense” actor Toni Collette also shared a personal memory with O’Connor, writing on Instagram, “I was lucky enough to hang out with her a few times in my twenties. On one occasion we all sang in the hills of Wicklow in Eire. I sang a Jane Siberry song and Sinead then asked/encouraged me to sing one of my own. Can you imagine the terror? The intimidation? The thrill?!”

“She was so talented, so generous, humble, resilient, courageous and true,” Collette continued. “What a voice. What a force. My heart breaks.”

Beyond those in the arts, O’Connor’s impact was felt in her home country of Ireland.

“What Ireland has lost at such a relatively young age is one of our greatest and most gifted composers, songwriters and performers of recent decades, one who had a unique talent and extraordinary connection with her audience, all of whom held such love and warmth for her,” Irish president Michael D. Higgins said in a statement sent to CNN.

“May her spirit find the peace she sought in so many different ways,” his statement concluded.

CNN

Remember… you bared your soul… shared your brilliance through exquisite artistry. — Annie Lennox

[iamunabletothinkofablogname]

1. What is you middle name? It's either bait ali or ali bait [roughly translates to house of Ali] [[not many people know about my middle name lol] 2. How old are you? 14 3. When is your birthday? 27/11/2009 4. What is your zodiac sign? Saggitarius 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 5. What is your favorite color? Red/orange/purple/black 6. What’s your lucky number? 6 7. Do you have any pets? Used to 8. Where are you from? Technically i'm from iran but i don't look it, i was born in kuwait and my mum just tells me to say 'iraqi' 9. How tall are you? 166cm 10. What shoe size are you? idfk 11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 2 of the same pair 12. What was your last dream about? Reliving a bad memory, then finding the person everywhere and trying to hide while my mum drags me closer [we had to go run errands, but i'd always find him there and i couldn't leave] 13. What talents do you have? I can turn off my emotions :3 14. Are you psychic in any way? Answered this 15. Favorite song? Right now it's honeypie [for the beat, it makes me happi] 16. Favorite movie? idk 17. Who would be your ideal partner? I'm aroace so idfk 18. Do you want children? One day i might wanna adopt a kid, but i aint sure 19. Do you want a church wedding? I don't want any wedding lol 20. Are you religious? Spiritual not religious 21. Have you ever been to the hospital? who hasn't??? 22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Never been caught doing illegal shit but the worst thing i've done was like, steal a fucking math book 23. Have you ever met any celebrities? Nat Amoore [author, but i dont think she's a celeb lol] 24. Baths or showers? showers 25. What color socks are you wearing? None, i'm on my bed lol but i wear black socks 26. Have you ever been famous? nuh-uh, thank god 27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? Would rather die /gen 28. What type of music do you like? Vocaloid, breakcore, indie/alt rock 29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? nuh-uh 30. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two, one to hug and one to hide my books/laptop [i don't sleep on it though 31. What position do you usually sleep in? Fetal but hugging a pillow 32. How big is your house? Not ours, but it's medium 33. What do you typically have for breakfast? I don't eat breakfast lol 34. Have you ever fired a gun? If only 35. Have you ever tried archery? If only times two 36. Favorite clean word? supercalifragilisticexpialadocious 37. Favorite swear word? fuck 38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? idfk a week? 39. Do you have any scars? yea 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? Complicated but yeah, twice/thrice [?!?!?] 41. Are you a good liar? Yeah, when i want to be 42. Are you a good judge of character? I don't think so 43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? I change accents depending on who i'm talking to so 44. Do you have a strong accent? Nope 45. What is your favorite accent? I think irish cus it sounds cool 46. What is your personality type? Entp! [i was esfp then enfp then intp then entp] 47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? I'm not sure 48. Can you curl your tongue? ye 49. Are you an innie or an outie? innie 50. Left or right handed? Left 51. Are you scared of spiders? only super big ones, but i usually just freeze when one is on me 52. Favorite food? Rice and yoghurt w lentils [imjadarah] 53. Favorite foreign food? Warag anab [vine leaves i think it's called] 54. Are you a clean or messy person? messy asf 55. Most used phrased? "[accidentally dirty thing] you say?" "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID" [irl] 56. Most used word? "FUCK-" "WOOHOO!!!" "REALLY???" [irl]

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? Not too long but i procrastinate it a lot so a while lol 58. Do you have much of an ego? The lowest fucking ego but i'll gaslight myself into thinking yes anyway 59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Suck 60. Do you talk to yourself? Constantly, usually internally though 61. Do you sing to yourself? If i'm comfortable with the people i'm around, i will just randomly break into song 62. Are you a good singer? Not good, not horrible 63. Biggest Fear? Things never getting better 64. Are you a gossip? No, but if someone starts it i'll go along with it 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? I don't watch dramas lol 66. Do you like long or short hair? All hair is cool, but i would love to have shorter hair 67. Can you name all 50 states of America? the only states i know are 1-north carolina 2-idaho 3-Texas 4-florida 5-ohio 6-Washington 7-Wyoming 8-South carolina 9-Arizona [on the spot at least] 68. Favorite school subject? sport/gym 69. Extrovert or Introvert? I love people but i get overwhelmed easily so i need to recharge, i've been called an extroverted introvert so idk 70. Have you ever been scuba diving? Nope, seems scary 71. What makes you nervous? being alone with one person 72. Are you scared of the dark? Not really, if i feel something in there i flip off the darkness and say "Fuck you" and it makes me feel better 73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Rarely 74. Are you ticklish? Kinda 75. Have you ever started a rumor? Accidentally in like 3rd grade about a killer being in the window of the unit outside our school [i was misunderstood] 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Sometimes i have to parent my siblings when my mums gone but not really 77. Have you ever drank underage? No 78. Have you ever done drugs? nope 79. Who was your first real crush? it's complicated lol 80. How many piercings do you have? two, but they're closing off 81. Can you roll your Rs?“ Answered this 82. How fast can you type? retook it 79WPM 83. How fast can you run? I'm really fast, it's very rare that someone can run faster than me 84. What color is your hair? Black 85. What color is your eyes? Very dark brown, i can't see my pupils if i look in the mirror 86. What are you allergic to? Bug bites, dust [well my sis is and i get the same reactions] 87. Do you keep a journal? Not anymore 88. What do your parents do? Not eachother that's for sure /silly My dad is a security guard and i'm not 100% sure what my mum does89. Do you like your age? No i want to be 18 asap 90. What makes you angry? Injustice 91. Do you like your own name? Robert? yes. Given name? fuck no. 92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? Nope 93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? None lol 94. What are you strengths? Competitiveness, open-mindedness, self control when it comes to hurting others 95. What are your weaknesses? People pleasing, i dislike myself greatly which is probably a weakness, self control when it comes to doing something bad 96. How did you get your name? It came to my mum in a dream 97. Were your ancestors royalty? no but there was a knight who was also a poet, hatim al ta'i 98. Do you have any scars? y e 99. Color of your bedspread? I don't use any 100. Color of your room?

White

[confessions-of-a-misanthrope]

Saved By The Cavalry Of Calvary

I get in the blacked out OPS van. Ant is in the driver's seat, grinning at me as I close the passenger door. "Hey kiddo. Sorry for the hasty evac, but you know how Boss Hog can be." His brown eyes sparkle and his jawline is covered in his customary salt and pepper five o'clock shadow. I can tell he is enjoying readying his Evac team consisting of my brother-in-law, Paul, Lincoln, Scottie "Too Hottie," Thaddeus & "The Irish Curse," Tina, and the newest member, Nicholas Steele. Lincoln is the first face I see. I wave in acknowledgment and he waves back. A fellow introvert, Lincoln is the logistics guy. Putting the OPS plan in Lincoln hands, Ant knows the evac to Boss Hogs' high-end safe-house will be well planned with every outcome, predictable and extraordinary, meticulously accounted for. Thad's are the next eyes I meet. I smile wide, a short burst of laughter escapes my lips as he salutes me, our little inside joke about his malediction regarding the Emerald Isle. Tina is next to meet my eyes. Her half grin lights up the "Resting Bitch Face" we both have in common. Lucky for Tina, no one ever tells her she'd be prettier if she just smiled. Tina is beautiful which means her RBF is considered sultry and mysterious. Scottie "Too Hottie" looks to me from his scout position at the rear of the van where threats to my safety could be quickly eliminated. He winks at me before turning back to his surveillance duties. I don't know the newest member too well and we nod at each other in greeting as I think back to our first meeting at the Agency's recruitment talent acquisition photo shoot. When it comes to marketing for the Agency, Stella O'Neil is extraordinary at picking out the best mascots. There was Betty Paige, a beautiful Greek goddess, tall and athletic, a fitness model in her former life. Terry Jo and Peter Lund, the power couple, Taleal from Afghanistan, along with Hanh Nguyen. Stella introduced Nick to me as Detective Nicholas Steele and I gave her a knowing look as a comment to the Rookie's full name. "That is the most perfect porn name." I say to Stella, not knowing my inside voice carried over to the place in the corner of the room where Detective Steele was seated. "It's not a porn name." Nicholas says pointedly to me. Stella whispers to me, "he's really religious, devoted Christian. And he's an Ugly Duckling." Stella's eyes light up mischievously giving me the giggles. I'm going to have fun with this one." I say to Stella looking at Detective Steele watching us with suspicion.

©Aquarian Society Publishing

[musicarenagh]

Gregory Rhodes Releases His Debut Album 'The Dearly Departed and the Recently Returned' Alaska-based musician and producer Gregory Rhodes has made a name for himself as a singer-songwriter and multi-instrumentalist over his decades-long career. His latest album, "The Dearly Gone and the Newly Returning," marks his first release under his own name as a solo artist. Rhodes not only authored every song on the album but also played every instrument and provided every voice on the nine-song record. Rhodes is not your typical musician-producer, and "The Dearly Gone and the Newly Returning" is a testament to his unique approach to music. For starters, he did not rely on sampling, software instruments, or synthesizers to create any of the sounds on the album. Instead, he used a range of techniques to record each sound acoustically, resulting in a rich, warm sound that feels organic and authentic. The Dearly Departed and the Recently Returned by Gregory Rhodes Musically, Rhodes creates complex, layered compositions that draw listeners in with their intricate rhythms and expressive harmonies. He blends acoustic instruments such as guitars and mandolins with distorted electric guitars and strings to create a sound that feels both familiar and fresh. Each song has a distinct identity and a clear sense of purpose, making for an engaging listening experience. "The Dearly Gone and the Newly Returning" is a beautiful, heartfelt album that showcases Gregory Rhodes' talents as a songwriter, musician, and producer. It is a testament to his unique approach to music, one that emphasizes authenticity and organic soundscapes over the use of technology. We are excited to see what Rhodes has in store for us in the future and to see how he continues to push the boundaries of what it means to be a musician in the modern era. Participate in our discussion as we question him on his most recent album at this time. [caption id="attachment_47936" align="alignnone" width="1089"] Gregory Rhodes Releases His Debut Album 'The Dearly Departed and the Recently Returned'[/caption] How long have you been making music and what attracted you to it? I’ve been writing music and playing in bands for more than two decades. My first memories of music were listening to my parents’ vinyl record collection – lots of classical, baroque, 1960s folk music, and Irish instrumental music. I am always deeply inspired by old and obscure instrumental music. Who or what inspires you or motivates you? And why? The people inspire me in my life, and that’s a lot of what I write about. When I see how people struggle, I want to find ways that I can help them. Seeing their struggle often deeply inspires me to reflect on their experience, and write music about it. Lyrically I do a lot of writing from the narrative perspective of people I have been connected to. What are your friends and parents' thoughts on your career in music? I’m incredibly lucky to be married to an amazing artist. My wife Cat Lindquist-Rhodes is a visual artist and painter. She created all of the original artwork for the cover images for my album and singles. Her images contextualize my music in ways I couldn’t have imagined. My family, especially my kids, have always been amazingly supportive of my musical efforts, they inspire me to work hard, and I am always aware of how lucky I am. What are some of the challenges you face in your career path? I have lived in Alaska and all over the Southwest USA, and be able to collaborate with lots of amazing musicians. I've written and performed with many bands, playing many different styles of music, and in which I have played many different instruments. For a long time, I’ve had a clear idea in my mind of the sound I’m trying to achieve. But it can be difficult to make it happen, even when the people I'm collaborating with are immensely talented and creative. For this album, by performing all of the instruments myself, gave me the ability to make the music sound the way I wanted it to sound.

Getting “that sound” is a challenge, and that’s what I’m after. How do you feel the Internet has impacted the music business? The internet has democratized music in a phenomenal way, and I love it. [embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WW2W6BIzV1U&list=OLAK5uy_mcDR3HdMTR9_9q1zcOSo1L3drmFep6PRQ[/embed] Do you have any advice for aspiring songwriters? Don’t try to please anyone with your music. What is your current project about? The process of making this album was about proving to myself that I could make it happen. Now that I proven it to myself, I’m going to just keep making more records. I'm currently in the process of recording my next album. What does this song mean to you? “Love Song for Catherine” is a song dedicated to my wife. It’s about looking at seasonal change as a way of describing freshness and constancy. And it’s about how being in love is painful in the best way. The song is a gift for my wife and is as simple as that. What are your hobbies? Building things that are made out of wood, and cooking food. What do you do aside from this profession? I am an air traffic controller on the side. What is one message you would give to your fans? You’re the best. [embed]https://open.spotify.com/album/2QJSMSbBs2CZPurwBlvAF2?si=p58k6IHKQeyjTPmUTvrS0A[/embed]

[denimbex1986]

'He starred in one of the year’s most profoundly moving films, All of Us Strangers, and won praise for bringing Uncle Vanya to the London stage. Now Andrew Scott continues an impressive run of work by giving audiences a fresh take on one of the most iconic characters of them all.

Since US novelist Patricia Highsmith first brought Tom Ripley to life in a series of novels, the shrewd criminal and con-artist has enthralled readers and audiences alike.

Over the years, actors including Alain Delon, John Malkovich and Matt Damon have brought Ripley to the screen. Now the Dublin actor takes a deep dive into Ripley in a new series for Netflix - and characteristically makes the role his own. Not only does Scott take on an American accent for the role - impressively, he learned to speak Italian to play the character, who moves to the Mediterranean in the late 1950s.

“I had a wonderful Italian teacher and learned it for three or four months before we started just so you could understand it. It's a beautiful language to speak. And then of course, when you're around it, you become more interested in it," says Scott.

“It's one of the things you have to get used to a little bit as an actor - you've got to become really adept at something for a particular period, and then you have to move on to something else. I love that about acting, actually. But I'll try to keep it, I'm going to go back to Italy this year.”

Scott has given us a Ripley for the ages in the suspenseful series. It’s written and directed by Steven Zaillian, whose previous screenwriting credits include Schindler’s List, The Irishman and The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.

Zaillian brings Hitchcockian levels of tension to the storytelling, shot in black and white and striking in its attention to detail.

“It's the most extraordinary character and we spend so much time inside his mind and inside his world,” says Scott of taking on Ripley. “I think that's what's remarkable about it. Sometimes in a television series where there's eight hours of this, it might be about a couple, or a police department, or a family, or a hospital. This is really based on one person. We spend so much time with this guy, the character's in 95% of the eight hours, that's an awful lot of time to spend with one character.

“And so the challenge of it is to not blot the copybook too much in relation to how wonderful the mystery of the man is, as well as what we do know about him, which is that he is an enduring character that people love. But I think the questions about him, and his mysteriousness and his secretiveness, are a reason that he's so fascinating to play.”

Understandably, he opted not to watch other performances depicting Tom Ripley, though he had seen Alain Delon in Purple Noon and Matt Damon in The Talented Mr Ripley years previously.

“I love both those versions for different reasons. It's happened before in relation to Shakespearean characters, you think: ‘Oh, I don't want to see that’. You want to be able to put your own stamp on it.

“I was very lucky because I received the full eight hours of scripts, a big pile of scripts to read, which is very unusual for an actor. You usually get maybe one or two episodes. I had the whole thing mapped out and I knew immediately how extraordinarily written they were and sparsely written.

“I love the film noir-ish element to it. It's absolutely exquisite to look at and I love the opaqueness of playing this character. It felt like a real departure for me.”

The series was shot in New York and various glamorous locations throughout Italy including Rome, Capri, the Amalfi Coast and Palermo, as Scott’s Tom Ripley travels to Europe to seek out an old acquaintance, the wealthy and privileged Dickie Greenleaf (Johnny Flynn).

As a boy, a shy Scott took up acting classes and quickly fell in love with the craft - playing the Tin Man in one of his first ever performances.

Years later, he went on to star in several Irish dramas including Jimmy’s Hall and Handsome Devil. He gave us the villainous Moriarty in a TV adaptation of Sherlock and the legendary ‘hot priest’ in Fleabag.

“I think we all as human beings want to do something that's of use to other people,” he says of his career. “You want to do something that's useful in the world. I suppose I appreciate more now, how much this can be of use to people, and how it genuinely helps.

“I do feel like I try to force myself sometimes into appreciating that what I do can be of use to people and it's not a frivolous thing, because I know that actors and artists of all different persuasions have really helped me.”

There have been many memorable screen performances from the Irish actor, but theatre is at the very heart of what he does, and his recent successes include an award-winning run of Vanya, which also screened widely in cinemas.

“It's just like injecting the atmosphere straight into your veins,” he says of live performance. “You don't wait around - you're the chief artist, if I'm honest, as an actor. In the theatre, you're in charge.

“If the audience is getting bored, it's your job to pick the pace up, it's your job to be sort of all seeing, and there's nothing like that. If you don't exercise those muscles, you lose them and I don't want to lose them. I find it just the purest form of storytelling. Vanya was exhilarating, and exhausting, and all the things.”

Scott brought audiences one of the finest screen performances of the year in All of Us Strangers, which audiences are falling in love with on streaming services following its successful cinema run. He and his friend and co-star Paul Mescal entertained fans with their banter while publicising the film.

“It's been extraordinary,” says Scott of the film’s reception. “I’m still processing that actually, how affecting the film was for people. I suppose I understand for my own personal reasons more now why it affected people so much.

“I did that project with people that I really love - Paul especially. And when we brought it back to Ireland it was completely magical for both of us. It was very, very special. I'm very grateful to have just been part of it, not just the film, but the process and the reception and everything about it.”

Ripley comes to Netflix from Thursday, April 4. www.netflix.com/Ripley.'

[iamafeministtbh]

(via Lisa Hannigan - Undertow | #Courage2020 - YouTube)

[gumnut-logic]

 2033

“Another boy?”

Jeff grinned. “Yeah. Another one.” He couldn’t help but stare at the photo that had landed on his screen as a good luck token from Earth.

He did of course, know about Lucille going into labour the night before and it was for that reason he hadn’t had the sleep he probably should have pre-history making Mars landing. But honestly, to get this signal from that little blue planet a good eight months away…his heart swelled…his beautiful baby boy had a shock of red hair that screamed their Irish ancestry down through the hundreds of years since their family had left the old world.

Lucille sat holding him, looking tired but ever so proud. Her dark hair was tied back and the sparkle in her eyes brought a lump into his throat. Her mother, pink hair and all, sat beside his wife holding his two eldest boys on her lap. Scott had his hand on Virgil’s arm as the now second youngest reached over towards his baby brother, a frown of concentration on his face.

“He’s beautiful.”

Jeff startled a little. Berry was breaking regs and leaning over the back of Jeff’s pilot couch, her straps unfastened. The cockpit was pretty snug in the lander, most of the room taken up with safety equipment and interfaces, leaving little for the padded personnel support.

He shot an eyebrow in her direction and she smiled a dare back at him. The astrogeologist wasn’t one for breaking the rules, she just liked to taunt him a little.

Ju, in contrast, was checking her harness was secure a second time. “Creating your own crew, Tracy?” Her auburn eyes smirked at him. “Aiming to replace us?”

He grinned. “Could be.” Dare he mention that his four-year-old eldest could already name all the controls in this cockpit? His grin widened. “But we can’t replace the first person to set foot on Mars, now can we?”

Berry snorted, a little abashed. But it was, after all, her part to play once they made touchdown. The words had been rehearsed, the order of exit decided. For very specific reasons, the first human on Mars was going to be Kate Berrenger.

Berry had worked her ass off to make this mission a reality. Her specialisation onboard was astrogeologist, but honestly it was far more. The woman was talent on legs. It was she who had designed much of the equipment they were deploying on the surface, she who had hunted and gathered the funding, she who had put in the sweat and tears to make this work. And Ju wasn’t far behind. The two of them were quite a powerhouse pair. Jeff considered himself and Lee lucky to have been chosen for this mission. Of course, he’d known Berry for a very long time, worked with her for most of it, but it wasn’t a given that the team that had helped populate the moon would also be the first on Mars.

“Given how many life support pods we’re dragging down there, I bet your boys could drop by in about thirty years or less.”

“You gonna put your money where your mouth is, Berry?” The thought was tantalising. Not to put pressure on any future careers – Lucy would kill him – but he would hope that at least one out of three might follow in his footsteps.

Maybe?

He turned around and opened his mouth, only to be interrupted. “Major Tracy, tell your team to secure. Two minutes to separation.” Sinclair was his usual grumpy, nervous self.

“Roger that, Orbiter Control.”

He glared at Berry and the redhead bit her lip with a smile, green eyes dancing, before sitting back and strapping herself in preparation for the sequence.

She didn’t stop smiling though.

“So watcha gonna name him?” Lee prodded him with his eyebrows from beside Jeff.

A last glance at the photo before he returned to separation prep, fingers tight in his gloves. “Are you going to remember this one?” An eye in the engineer’s direction.

“Sure.”

Running his fingers over the controls, Jeff ran through pre-flight. “Name my eldest.”

Lee grunted, his eyes darting away. “Not important right now.” A flick of a switch. “I’m green across the board.”

“A-ok.” Jeff ran through the last sequence of checks…and ran them again…for luck. “Orbiter Control, we are green for separation.”

“Roger that, Cornerstone. Separation in sixty seconds on my mark.” A breath. “Mark.” Another pause. “Good luck.”

And the countdown began.

Jeff ran his eyes over everything again. The great ship that had journeyed so far from home was preparing to split in half. The lander at the top of the vessel was to pull away from the orbiter and its massive propulsion engines to begin the historic descent to the Martian surface. Eight months in space, so much preparation time and so many sacrifices before that, had all led to this moment.

History in the making.

His eyes combed the readouts watching like a hawk. The computer had control, but computers could only do so much.

Still green across the board.

Quiet, his fingers touched the screen where the photo had been. “John Glenn Tracy.” A breath. “His name is John.”

Displays shifted as the countdown hit zero and machinery grunted. The Cornerstone drifted apart from its propulsion module and floated free far above the red of the Martian surface.

Jeff eyed his instrumentation and sent a prayer to his family back home.

Today was an important day.

-o-o-o-

Lee watched Jeff side-on as he clicked his helmet into place. Taylor was a realist and he knew he wouldn’t be here without the crazy pilot.

It was Jeff’s drive that had gotten them this far. It was like riding a rollercoaster of determination and outright luck. From the Airforce, through space training and their sojourns on Alfie, Lee had tied himself to the man’s coat tails and hadn’t looked back.

God, it had been fun.

Jeff Tracy was a tsunami that crashed through everything and took everyone with him.

And Lee went willingly.

When they had been chosen for this mission it was a dream come true.

The countdown dropped to zero and machinery clunked as the lander separated smoothly from the orbiter. She drifted momentarily before the computer engaged thrusters to push her gently out of orbital alignment.

“We are five by five for atmospheric entry.” The words he uttered were almost rote after so many practise simulations back on Earth.

Atmospheric entry on Mars was considerably different to entry on Earth. Terran atmosphere was more like soup in comparison to the barely-there Martian atmosphere. Still made for a warm entry though, friction was friction after all.

“Trajectory achieved.” Jeff’s voice was confident and firm. As always.

Lee eyed the computer readouts, mentally ticking off procedure as the lander dipped into the outer reaches of the atmosphere and shifted to its entry interface.

Forces wrapped themselves around Lee and his body responded. After so many months of weightlessness, this was going to be a challenge.

“Ready for deceleration burn.”

The landing module sported early entrance stage retro thrusters designed to slow the vehicle to reduce the friction on the spacecraft’s skin. A new innovation that had proven essential in many return trips to the moon in preparation for the creation of a habitable dome on the satellite.

And here they were attempting to do something similar on Mars.

Cornerstone shook as her thrusters engaged exactly on time.

The craft roared.

Lee revelled in it.

“Three minutes to subsonic.”

“I really hate this bit.” It was barely heard above the commotion.

Lee snorted to himself. Ju was an astronaut in every sense, but she had a thing regarding atmospheric entry and the microscopic bits they could be exploded into if something went wrong.

“We are on track, Ju. Not a thing to worry about.” His voice reassurance itself, Jeff could sell the moon cheese if he so felt like it.

“Orbiter to Cornerstone. Tracy, we have a problem.”

Lee blinked. Sinclair’s voice was ominous.

“Orbiter, detail?”

“Cornerstone, weather has kicked up on the landing site. We have a developing dust storm. Looks to be a big one.”

“Orbiter, we are fixed for descent. Please advise severity.” Jeff’s tone was frustrated and Lee couldn’t help but echo it.

Data landed in Lee’s console and while Jeff continued to monitor their descent, Lee examined the situation. “We have a category five dust storm developing over the landing site. Orbiter is right, she looks like she could actually do some damage.”

Mars dust storms were generally all gust and no guts. The air density and pressure forced storms that were dramatic to look at, but generally little more than a windy day on planet Earth. This one, however... “It’s an anomaly.”

Jeff’s eyes darted from his console to Lee’s, grey eyes assessing the data. “Ju, your opinion?” They had to make the decision fast. Altering their trajectory now was possible, but fuel was precious. Any extra used now narrowed their safety margin for later.

The meteorologist’s fingers darted over her board. “Unusual strength, I agree.” Lee glanced in her direction as she frowned. “But Cornerstone should be able to handle it.”

“‘Should’ is not a good enough assumption, Zhang.” Jeff was frowning. The lander’s retros cut out as they reached a safe enough velocity to manoeuvre and Jeff’s hands curled around the yoke.

Lee’s finger darted over his board and brought up the outside cameras.

The red planet stretched out before them, her slightly blue tinted atmosphere contrasting against the rust of her surface.

That surface was churning.

Ju was outraged. “How the hell did that develop in the time it took us to separate from Orbiter? She was as calm as a sleeping baby!”

“I don’t care about then, I need now. Zhang, recommendation!”

The woman grunted. “I say go. If you think you can handle it. It is well within Cornerstone’s specs. Your decision, Major.”

Jeff’s lips thinned, his eyes darting across the readouts. A moment and he hit the comms switch. “Orbiter, we are go for landing. We’ve come this far, might as well go all the way.”

“Tracy, are you sure?”

“Humanity never got anywhere taking it easy.” He glanced at Lee. “Hold onto something.”

Cornerstone began her turn, orientating her nose to the sky so her retros could lower her safely to the Martian surface.

Or in Jeff Tracy terms, ‘spinning so she could park her ass’.

As if reading Lee’s mind, the glint in Jeff’s eyes was something to both be wary of and to celebrate.

Out of the four of them, Jeff was the most reckless, the most daring. But as he was the pilot, it sometimes called for it. Jeff had already saved them from becoming just another crater on Earth’s moon by pulling the most unconventional manoeuvre ever seen on the satellite when a landing thruster misfired on approach. The craft had shot off on a completely unpredicted vector that would have ploughed them into moon dust...if Jeff hadn’t reacted as fast as he did. He flipped the craft with its remaining three thrusters and, shedding the majority of their velocity in an energy dump that had Lee’s stomach on the outside, planted their craft like a sack of potatoes.

They had landed roughly, but they had landed alive and Lee was still amazed his friend had been able to do that.

So, if they were going down in a cloud of red dust, Lee was quite happy to have Jeff at the controls.

Not to say that Lee himself wasn’t handy with a spacecraft. He had his own experience to be proud of. He flew, but his realm was more the mechanical. He was here as back up and maintenance.

For those times the Tracy fix wasn’t quite enough.

A sigh. He eyed the billowing clouds below as they rapidly approached. They were history in the making. Whatever happened here today would be taught in schools for decades to come.

He had faith in Jeff. They would land, Berry would take those first important steps on a new planet, say the rehearsed words, and join Neil Armstrong in the halls of fame.

But first they had to get there.

-o-o-o-

Jeff swallowed as the cloud of dust loomed beneath the lander. Numbers scrolled across his console. The computer should be able to handle most of it. Its programming was solid. Lucy had made sure of it.

The thought of his beautiful wife...little Johnny.

Dust swelled and wrapped around their craft and visibility became...bad.

Cornerstone shuddered.

Mars dust was a bastard of a thing. Ever so fine and carrying a tiny electric charge that on occasion interfered with instruments.

This was one of those occasions.

“We have blackout on three primary sensors.” Damn. Two others flickered, the screen fritzing a moment.

His fingers darted over controls in an attempt to compensate for the data loss.

Lee was muttering beside him and stabbing at his board. “Rerouting to back-ups.”

Their screens flickered and cleared somewhat.

Numbers plummeted.

Beyond the blinding dust the digital readout that marked the surface of the planet approached.

Far too fast.

Retros crucial to start the landing sequence did not fire.

Shit.

It took seconds for him to compensate and move to manual, but that was enough for the craft to fall many more metres so, when he did manually trigger the burn, they were lower than they should be.

Cornerstone roared as he pushed more energy into braking.

“Lee, we need primary thrust or we are so much pancake!” Her four landing thrusters were not slowing them enough. The math in his head was churning out a fatal result and their history-making attempt was fast turning into a shitfest. “I need that power now.”

“You have it.” Short and sharp as Lee’s hands darted over his console.

On Jeff’s board the main thruster icon lit up.

It wasn’t meant to be used this way. The main thruster was for launching. It was far more powerful than they needed to land. But if he didn’t slow Cornerstone, she was going to take on a big red rock and lose.

The computer ran calculations and spat numbers out at him.

“Firing main thruster.” The icon flashed, Cornerstone roared and g-forces wrapped around all of them and squeezed.

No one said anything for the second of burn that slowed their descent ever so rapidly. Everything shook, the ship’s superstructure groaning.

Jeff’s eyes tracked their velocity, counting down as the surface of the planet rushed towards them. Visually they couldn’t see it. Virtually it looked ready to slap them in the face.

But the main thruster compensated, slowing the craft just enough for the landing rockets to do their job.

Jeff killed the big one and concentrated on the landers to take the last of their speed.

Cornerstone slowed. Five hundred metres. Four hundred metres. Three hundred metres. Two hundred metres. One hundred metres. Landing struts deployed. Fifty. Thirty. Twe-

The whole ship slammed to a stop, its structure groaning and tilting for a second before righting itself. Alarms began shrieking, red lights flashing all over his board.

What the hell?!

The readout had them stalled nineteen metres ‘above’ the virtual surface. Virtual was obviously not lining up with actual.

Another metallic groan and the ship tilted slightly again. This time it stayed tilted. No doubt a landing strut had taken the brunt and folded.

One red light screamed at him more than the others.

Beside him, Lee confirmed his fears. “We have a fuel leak.”

Shit!

He was unstrapping himself even as the craft groaned again. Something sparked not far away. Lee was a split second behind, listing the reason for the malfunction. The exterior hull, and the mangled landing strut responsible.

A rupture in the external hull. Hell.

Jeff undocked a diagnostic pad and slapped it on his belt.

Martian gravity made itself known. So many months without its native pull, Jeff’s body protested the sudden movement, but they didn’t have time. Precious fuel was escaping.

He hit the ladder leading out of the cockpit at a run, feet locking around the struts and his hands pushing him down. The whole sensation of gravity, but only a third of Earth’s was baffling. His body caught between expectations and stumbling along the way. Ultimately, he partly fell his way down through the access ports, hands grabbing at the railings barely preventing him from colliding with each deck.

Cornerstone’s fuel tanks were attached to her four landers, with a fifth fueling her main launcher.

It was number three that was the problem.

His boots hit decking and he scrambled for the airlock. Beside him Lee had a toolkit and they both barrelled through the door sealing it behind them.

The pumps cycled and the pressure dropped, their suits shifting with the change, and then the elevator was lowering them to the ground.

As the doors opened, they were faced with a wall of swirling dust.

Jeff did his best to ignore it but it fast became a problem. The maintenance tab in his hand was directing him to climb ladders up the side of the vehicle, but he could barely see the tablet, much less the ladders themselves through the red dust.

“Stick close, Lee. I’d hate to lose you in this.”

“Right behind you, Jeff. Wouldna want to lose you either.”

It was simple, but reassuring nonetheless. Fumbling, he found the landing strut. It was skewed in a way that even in the thick swirling haze, he could see was far from the right angle for correct support.

Hooking a foot into the lowest rung, he snagged his friend and urged him up the ladder ahead. If anyone was going to save their asses in this situation, it was Lee.

If Jeff could land it, chances were Lee could fix it. The man could jimmy two sticks and a rubberband into whatever was needed. Hell, he’d done almost exactly that on the moon at least twice.

This was just another challenge. Jeff had landed them, no matter how roughly. Now Lee would be able to fix it.

Jeff clung to that maxim.

But the question wasn’t about skill, it was more about whether or not they were going to damn well be able to see what they needed to see in order to do what needed doing.

Red obscured everything. The speed it was all flying past spoke to his earth senses of gale force winds, but the pressure on his suit was little more than a windy day.

Not enough to affect the spacecraft.

Mars was obviously educating them early that this was not Earth. Not in any way shape or form.

Their clamber up the strut was partly a blind one, but they made it to the damaged side of the craft. Through a mixture of touch and virtual readout, it became clear that the outer hull had buckled, forcing the inner hull into the fuel tank. Most of it had held, but there was a small microfracture and the pressure differences were bubbling solid state fuel into gas at a rate that, if it didn’t deplete the tank, would likely cause an explosion that would solve all their problems with a history-making finality.

Jeff climbed up beside Lee as he fumbled at his tool kit. The tank was dislodged off its mounts, something they would need to remedy later, but it was still inset from the hull.

Jeff put his body in position to block the main flow of the dust and wind, jamming himself up against the still warm hull of his ship.

A little less dust swirled over the bubbling crack and Lee didn’t hesitate. Before Jeff could blink, gell bondtape landed smoothly over the area, the engineer sealing it with an electronic nudge from a set-wand. The electricity lined molecules up like soldiers and locked them in place bonding them to whatever the tape was adhered to. They had used the same stuff on Alfie two years ago when one of their habitats had tried to make one with the lack of lunar atmosphere.

An extremely simple solution for a very dangerous problem.

His heart, still adrenalin-fueled, refused to believe the danger was over.

As if reading Jeff’s thoughts, Lee smirked at him through the haze. “Never leave home without it.” A sigh as he ran a gloved hand over the seal. “This should hold for the short term. Once we are sure the strut is stabilised, I’ll give it a good going over. Hopefully, we can lose this storm in the process.”

Jeff would have liked to claim it couldn’t blow forever, but both of them knew Mars storms could be unpredictable and last for months if they so chose to.

Lee ran a scanner over the strut’s connection to the launcher. How the hell the engineer could see the readouts, Jeff didn’t know.

For all future excursions to the Red Planet, Jeff was going to recommend helmet based heads-up displays.

“She’s safe for now. A little bent, but she isn’t going to fall over. Hopefully, once we get out some of the heavy lifting equipment we can bend her back into shape if we need to.” Lee stood up. “Hull patching is going to be an ass, though.”

Jeff’s lips thinned and he dropped a hand onto his friend’s shoulder. “One thing at a time. We’ve got this, Lee.”

Lee grunted. “How the hell do you keep spinning the optimism, Jeff?”

A snort. “What? You’d prefer doom and gloom?” He shuffled back towards the ladder. “That’s it, Lee, we’re never leaving this god forsaken rock. Welcome to your new home.” He raised up his hands and as if the gods declared him some kind of Moses for that very moment, the dust clouds parted as if they were a red sea of sand. Sol, so much smaller this far away, poked its weak light through the hazy atmosphere and lit up the bare red rocks of their temporary home. While on one side, the billowing wall of dust storm swirled on its way, on the other red mountains rose up to a weak blue-red sky.

Lee shifted down beside him. “You know, I figured you had an agreement with the gods of physics, but isn’t this a little ridiculous?”

Jeff was too captivated with the view to respond.

Cornerstone was on the plateau they had been simulating for months on end. She stood tall and proud, if a little crooked and pinker than her promo shots.

“We made it.” The words fell from his lips.

Lee clung to the ladder beside him. “Yeah, that we did.”

Sunlight flickered weakly in the atmosphere and a gust of wind dragged more dust across the view.

Jeff shifted. “We better get inside before that mess starts up again. Take advantage of being able to see where we are going.”

Lee didn’t respond immediately, his eyes combing the jagged horizon. “Thanks, Jeff.”

A frown. “For what?”

“Getting us here.”

“It was a group effort, Lee, you know that. Couldn’t have done it without the team. Couldn’t have done it without you. Hell, you just patched a hole that could have blown us up.”

Lee grunted.

“Are you guys going to hang outside all day, or do we have to guess the sitrep?” Berry’s tone was tight.

“Roger, Berrenger. Situation secure. On our way back in.”

It wasn’t until they reached the elevator that he realised exactly what had happened.

And who he was.

By the doors, protected by the shadow of the lowered module was a single footprint that hadn’t been blown away by the wind.

“Aw, hell.”

Lee, as always, stepped up beside him. “Yeah. I guess that makes you the first man to walk on Mars.”

-o-o-o-

Ju was furious. “It was Kate’s right to be the first!”

The vacs in the airlock had sucked everything off their suits to the point Lee was surprised his hair wasn’t standing on end despite the helmet.

As it was, his hackles were somewhere near orbit as they stood in the conference room that doubled as a mess. “And what exactly do you think we were supposed to do? The ship was going to explode.” It was simple to Lee. Sure, he was all for equality, it was a given, but they would’ve been all equally dead if he and Jeff hadn’t done what they did.

“You didn’t give us a chance!”

“I’m the engineer here, Zhang. There wasn’t time! The decision was made and we are alive because of it.”

“Then why weren’t you first, Taylor? Why the hell was Tracy even out there? He’s not the engineer!”

Beside Lee, Jeff straightened. “Standard procedure, Zhang. We work in pairs. If you think I was going to let Lee go out in that on his own, you’ve been serving while wearing a blindfold.”

The short, dark-haired woman stepped up to the Major, her eyes fiery. “It was Kate’s place in history and you stole it!”

Lee flared. “We did what was necessary! This was not a publicity grab, for Christ’s sake! It didn’t even occur to us until we were returning. It was about saving our lives, Zhang. How can you possibly think it was anything else?”

“Because it always is.” She waved a hand at Jeff. “Always the hotshot. Always the first. Always the hero. Do you ever think, Tracy? Do you ever think about those you barrel past?”

Jeff glared down at the meteorologist. “I will not apologise for my achievements, Zhang. This was an honest to god accident.”

“Due to decisions made by you.”

“What the hell, Zhang?!” Lee pushed forward. That was taking it too far.

“We should never have tried to land in that dust storm. We should have waited it out.”

“You said we could take it!”

“But it wasn’t my decision, was it?” Her tone was a positive hiss at Jeff.

“Screw you, Zhang-“

“Taylor!”

“Jeff-“

The man was still the damn tall walking wall when he wanted to be. “Lee, stop.” He glared at Ju. “I will not apologise for my command decisions either, Zhang. What was done, is done.” His stance softened as he turned to Berry.

She had been ominously quiet the entire time.

Jeff sighed. “I’m sorry, Kate.”

The red-haired astrogeologist straightened away from the bulkhead, her arms still folded across her chest. Lee had always liked Berry. She had her head on much straighter than Ju ever did.

Ju was like a terrier with a bone.

The bone variety today was definitely Jeff-flavoured.

But there was only kindness in Berry’s eyes as she looked up at the Major. “This sucks, Jeff, it really does.” She looked down a moment. “But it is what it is and I guess it was what it was meant to be.” A shrug. “I suppose I’ll have to settle for third on Mars. Still pretty momentous, I think.”

“Kate, it doesn’t have to be that way.” Jeff took a step towards her. “It’s not official. It was a stupid repair. We can do the ceremonial step onto the planet anyway. No one has to know.”

Her head tilted to one side. “So, the ship miraculously healed itself?”

“Berry-“

She closed the gap between them, placing a hand on his arm. “Jeff, honestly, it’s not what is important here. You took the first step. We still have plenty of others that need to be taken. My ego can keep.”

Zhang flared again. “Kate, this was for women-“

“Ju, enough. It doesn’t matter! Humans have just landed on Mars, for god’s sake. I would have thought we would be a little less worried about the gender of the person taking the first step and more worried about the fact we did it without blowing up.”

“It was supposed to be you.” Ju wilted in defeat under Berry’s glare.

“Well, it was Jeff, and I think he is no less deserving than any of us.”

Jeff’s voice was quiet. “Are you sure, Kate?” The use of her first name was a rarity for the major, there was a friendship between those two almost as long as the one between Jeff and Lee. Hell, if Jeff hadn’t met Lee’s sister, Lucy, the engineer wondered what might have eventuated in that department.

Not that he had ever had to worry about that. Jeff was a complete sop for Lucy. His sis had the man wrapped around her little finger.

If that made Lee feel just that touch more protective of the crazy pilot, then so be it.

Kate straightened, her shoulders strong. “I’m sure.” Then her lips curled up a little. “Besides, my lines were so much more elegant than ‘Stick close, Lee. I’d hate to lose you in this.’”

Jeff snorted and shrugged. “If I’m going to make history gotta make sure my best friend is with me.”

Zhang made a disgusted sound and stormed out of the room.

Shoulders dropping, Jeff sighed. “Guess I need to work on my phrasing.”

But Lee was too wrapped in the moment, a little too proud and grateful to care. “She’ll live.”

The grunt from Jeff reminded Lee that they still had months to share living quarters with the fiery Ju.

“Don’t worry, I’ll talk to her.” Berry squeezed Jeff’s arm before reaching out to Lee as well. “Thank you, both of you, for getting us down safely. We’re on Mars, guys. Let the party begin.”

The smile in her eyes was honest and ever so heartening.

-o-o-o-

Callisto

[siminiecricketart]

Gonna puke up my feelings here but ,,

For a very long time I was insanely jealous of the attention other artists got - not just in the PJO fandom, but even in the Irish artist community I’m in. I’d just be riddled with envy, and it was always putting me into such a negative mindset. I always felt like an outsider of sorts, never really “in” with the other artists of the communities. And I think that was partly my own fault for allowing jealousy to overrun my mind. And it wasn’t just from other artists - it began at a young age, that when other people succeeded in any shape, I just felt longing for that same success.

But over the past few years I’ve changed my attitude towards it completely - just because other people are succeeding in one way, doesn’t make you any less. And actually, it’s a lot more fun to be excited with them, and support and uplift them. I didn’t realise how draining it was to feel this jealousy, and negativity around myself simply bc I wasn’t achieving what other people were at the time.

It’s really changed me a lot over the past two years - I was able to surround myself with other amazingly talented people in the Irish illustration sphere, and the PJO artist community. I’m so lucky and blessed to know so many wonderful and kind people. It’s made the community itself as a whole much more open and inviting, and I no longer feel like I’m an outsider staring in - we all share in each other’s success and it’s ,, idk I am so bad at words (wow that English degree really did not come in handy). It’s just so nice and I’m so grateful for the positivity that I’m surrounded by.

[gardenerian]

honestly, every excuse not to do the laundry is a good excuse - no ac being one of the best, if i'm asked. but i almost ran out of clean shirts, so there's that :')

ANYWAY

since ao3 is working again, to better topics- gushing over fanworks, because, well, i'm well and truly obsessed with everyone's fucking TALENT over here in this little corner. although, to be fair, you probably know a lot of them already? i'm always late to the best parties, but here goes nothing-

i am still working through things beyond mistake, because?? the premise got me hooked. mickey in especially is beautifully written and i can't. get. enough of it. also, PJ is a badass fucking friend and right for, well, all of *gestures* it.

wait, lemme grab the open tabs for more-

AH, YES, HOW COULD I FORGET, i still gotta catch up on these foolish games, because, c'mon, this just gotta be good. also, love me some "unknowingly texting and it going okay, but hating each other face to face until they realise" (what a genre.).

like a good tumblrian (is that even a word) i of course gotta read your question has been received. just. c'mon. the idiots as tumblr users? how do y'all feel being the geniuses you are.

old man that i am, too, you found me, you knew me's hopefully gonna feed my need for some good old soulmate au (just like @whatthebodygraspsnot's sweetpea. this one's gonna have me dead for good at some point, the WARMTH of it all.)

also, ALSO, i scheduled rereads for both @squidyyy23 's dancing after death and @gallawitchxx's exception to the rule, because i deserve a treat and these two works in particular are pure serotonin to go, topped off with some golden shit i can't name but also can't ever get enough of. and also because squid and bee deserve all the love they can get, i'll die on that hill a thousand times.

(meh, i hope all the links are right and working.)

and there's probably a shitton more on my list right now, but this has gotten long already, and with everything going on i probably won't be able to read all of it anyway - even though y'all make it so worth it every second. some days(tm) are ahead; i'm a procrastinating farmer and these works are my tools. anyway, all love and flowers to you🌼🌾🍀

(also, patiently impatiently waiting for the irish revolution au-)

holy fuck nosho you came through!!! i have not read all of these yet! many of them are on my list to read (literally, i made a spreadsheet aslkjdfh), and with your recommendation i will be sure to get to them ASAP 🥰 YES hating each other face to face while falling head over ass in love online is one of my all time FAVES, sign me UPPPPP!

as a macy stan i am SO THRILLED about today’s yqhbr update! @celestialmickey is a blessing 😇 she has given us all a gift today! 

also HELL YEAH sweetpea! i need to catch up! that fic is SO clever and fun, i am enjoying the hell out of it. you absolutely deserve the serotonin of squiddy and bee words - we are so lucky to have such wonderful, lovely people sharing these stories with us! golden! so true! 

love love love love love love to see you drop by my sweet! ty for sharing these links! my spreadsheet runneth over! 

irish AU is coming… chapter one is complete………. i am fixing her up 😇

[itjazzbicch]

Lessons

Pairing:  Santana x Fem Reader

Summary: The reader is the Princess of Long Island, now the women's champion in AEW. She had always been cocky and confident, that doubling now that she is champion and when she crosses paths with the Inner Circle, she isn't afraid to speak her mind, but also triggers Santana, her attitude wanting to make him teach her a lesson and put her in her place...

Warnings:  SMUT!! (LIKE A LOT) (18+!!)

Requested by:  Anon (Whoever you are, I hope you enjoy!)

Word Count:  3209

Tag List: @demonqueen29​ @jessiebean00​ @new-zealand-chic​ @crowleysqueenofhell​ @justamess44​ @thatpanpal​ @hungmanhorsecarriage​ @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch​  @linziland13​ @xxx-jazz-xxx @writtingrose​

I DO OWN THIS GIF

Just when we all thought the beef between the Inner Circle and the Pinnacle would die down, it didn't. Which became a nuisance for everyone.

I had just won the AEW women's championship at Double or Nothing. My match should have been the main event! Not all of these childish boys bickering.

Inner Circle had some screen time, celebrating their victory, but of course, MJF tried to ruin that and their little moment ran up part of my time, and little did they know, they made a big mistake because the time they took was mine.

Everyone was a bit confused whenever they heard my music playing, strutting in my red bottom heels and brand-new black, cocktail dress and that new, shiny title over my shoulder.

"Aye, cut my music," I demanded, smiling at all of the men in the ring, all of their eyes on me, "Don't get me wrong. Inner Circle versus Pinnacle. You have had your shining moments. Your stadium stampede match, not bad at all. Nowhere near as good as mine, but not bad."

I was laughing at all of them, they were clearly upset by my words and I wasn't even done yet, sighing:

"You all are talented, but this feud, oh god! It's more stale than Shida's run as women's champion, haha! You guys got to have your Lion King moment at Blood and Guts, you had your pathetic excuse for a stadium stampede match. Now, get the hell out of here."

They all were exchanging looks, in disbelief, but I snapped some sense into them, my inner bitch coming out when I cocked my hip, scoffing, "Did I stutter? The princess of Long Island is here and I am your women's champion. Show some respect, let the real star here shine, and get the hell out of my ring."

Finally, one of them did something, Wardlow sitting on the ropes for me so I could enter the ring.

"Nice to see one of you have manners," I groaned, but smiling at Wardlow, "Thanks, honey."

"Congrats on winning the title," MJF tried to smile at me, but I always saw through his fakeness, just rolling my eyes, taking the center of the ring with my microphone.

I was ready to have my moment, addressing my victory, but Inner Circle was still in the ring and it annoyed me quickly.

"You boys sure are stubborn," I murmured under my breath, but let them have a moment whenever Jericho stepped up to me, saying:

"The princess of Long Island, Y/N! Nice to see that you're an even bigger brat now that you are champion."

Any time someone called me a brat, it never bothered me. I just smiled, being sarcastic like usual when I smiled at Chris:

"Thank you for addressing me by my titles. I really appreciate it. Now Chris, you know what it's like to be a champion here in AEW. You sure had your moments and celebrations while you were the world champ. Let the princess enjoy hers. Now, go make yourself useful and get me a bottle of champagne backstage and not that disgusting thing you call the bubbly."

The crowd had mixed emotions about me, but one thing I did know was that they sure loved it whenever I was making rude comments to someone and embarrassing them. Again, I went to the middle of the ring, expecting them to leave, but I heard behind me:

"Naw, shorty needs to learn a lesson."

Quickly, I turned around to see Santana in front of Chris, clearly pissed off. I didn't back down at all; I was the one to take a step closer, smiling in Santana's face. Even though I was smiling, I was pissed off too.

When I lifted my microphone, my New Yorker accent began to came out, making sure there was plenty of attitude when I scoffed, "I need to learn a lesson?"

"Yeah, you do and I'll gladly put you in your place!" Santana yelled at me, taking Chris's microphone, "We fought like hell at Double or Nothing. We fought for something a lot more important than a title! We-"

"That's exactly your problem!" I yelled interrupting him, all of them listening when I continued, "Here's the thing about wrestling. It's about wrestling and winning championships! Everyone wants to make alliances, make 'families' and that leads to failure! I've been solo my whole career and you see, everywhere I go, I got boys drooling, girls wanting to be me, always being booked, and most importantly, winning titles!"

Santana had nothing to say just yet, but steaming with anger whenever I added:

"For example, other than Chris, when the hell did any of you win a title here in AEW?"

I left a moment of silence, waiting for an answer but there wasn't any.

"Oof," I cringed, "That's what I thought. You guys think you're the shit but in reality, you're a bunch of losers!"

"Losers, my ass!" Santana snapped and seeing how angry he was made me laugh hysterically, but I snapped back into bitch mode, flashing my title, cocking my hip, and flipping my hair.

"My time is very expensive and you boys wasted enough of it. And Santana, you better watch who you're talking to. You're lucky I'm in my red bottoms and this dress or I'd show you how a champion does it right here in this ring."

"Is that right?" Santana smiled, licking his lip and getting in my face.

He was hiding his anger by smiling, but I smiled right back, inches away from his face, if I got any closer our noses would have touched.

"That's right," I whispered, "Unless you want to prove me wrong. Actually, it wouldn't be the first time I wrestled in a dress."

"I got you, girl," Santana smiled, backing away, "You just wait!"

"Don't keep me waiting too long," I smiled back, winking at him, but when I turned to the crowd, I rolled my eyes.

Finally! Finally! I had my time in the ring and I also sat on commentary for one of the women's matches. It annoyed me that Tony tried to keep asking me questions about what just took place between me and the Inner Circle, but I told him to shut up and he listened. Thankfully, Jim told him how he shouldn't piss of royalty.

Right after that match, I went back to my dressing room. A bottle of champagne was truly calling my name. Too much annoyance consumed my mind for the night.

"Y/N," One of the backstage crew members called out, a bottle in his hands when he approached me, "A gift for you."

"No way," I laughed, taking the bottle that was champagne, one of my favorites actually, "That stupid idiot actually got me a bottle!"

"Actually," The member murmured, a bit scared as he did interrupt me a bit, "Here's the note."

I took the note from him, reading it and it said, "From one New Yorker to another."

MJF maybe? I tried thinking of who would have left it behind. After what I said out there, it definitely wasn't anyone in the Inner Circle. Either way, I didn't care. I just took it and went inside my room, demanding from the crew member:

"A Champagne glass. Now."

That member did not hesitate and while in my room, I was just watching the show, opening up the bottle while waiting. After what felt like forever, I heard a knock on my door.

"Finally," I groaned, "It's open!"

That same crew member opened the door, but then someone grabbed it. I couldn't tell who it was, but I saw their hand taking the champagne glass and a small bucket of ice.

"Thanks, but I got it from here."

Santana? Well, I found my fellow New Yorker who gifted me with champagne.

"Aww," I smiled while sitting up, "I only asked for a glass and he also brought me some ice for the bottle. How sweet is that?"

Santana wasn't thrilled to see me and I made sure he didn't get away from my smart comments whenever I stood up, mumbling, "Only if he got here sooner."

Without any words, I took the glass and ice over to the small table where I had the bottle waiting.

"So, you came over here for a reason. Care to tell?" I asked, pouring a glass, "Also, nice choice."

"I already told you out in the ring," Santana sighed, his hands in his pockets while he came around the couch and to the table where I was standing, "Maybe now that you're not on camera with the crowd around you, just maybe your ego won't get to your head."

"You're funny," I whispered, giggling while taking a sip, "Nothing about an ego. I just know my worth."

"Chris was right whenever he called you a brat," He mumbled, becoming annoyed with me, but I stopped beating around the bush.

"As I recall, you said that I need to be taught a lesson," I reminded him, smiling, "It would be a shame if I passed up the offer, but I don't think this would be the place to have a proper wrestling match."

"You really think you can beat me in the ring?" He smirked, thinking I was crazy.

"I know that I can," I smiled, "You think I'm afraid to wrestle a man? I could take that world title off of Omega if I wanted to."

Santana just laughed at me, shaking his head when he said, "You're crazy."

"Not crazy, just very ambitious and self-confident. What's wrong with that?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow, "No matter what 'lesson' you teach me-"

I was sure we both knew what was going to happen next, so I made the first move, getting close to him like when we were in the ring, just inches away from one another, finishing with:

"It's not going to change a thing."

There was no fighting the smile that was creeping onto my face when Santana got even closer, towering over me but still keeping direct eye contact, leaning his head down a little, our noses almost touching when he whispered:

"You sure about that?"

"We just went through this. Go ahead. Try to prove me wrong," I chuckled, seeing him shake a little when I picked up my leg, my thigh running between both of his, whispering, "But be careful how you hold me. I'm not just a princess, I'm a weapon."

All of the tension between us shattered like glass, about dropping my glass whenever his lips hit mine like a truck. There was no way I could deny it, he was a damn good kisser and it drove me crazy, taking him by surprise when I pushed him against the wall.

His hands were tugging at my dress, pulling it above my hips. I was smiling more when I felt his large, warm hands sliding down, taking two handfuls of my ass, biting my lip, and making me gasp hard when he planted a firm, swift smack on my ass.

It had me breathing heavily and it fired me up. I took two handfuls of his shirt, whispering against his lips, "Damn, you trying to make me cum already?"

"You like that?" Santana smiled, getting a moan out of me when he hit me with another one.

After that one, I snapped, wanting to get down and dirty. His eyes were locked on me, smiling when I stepped out of my panties, letting my dress fall, staying in my heels.

"You must not have listened when I told you that I'm a weapon," I huffed, ready to go back to him, but he came at me, throwing off his jacket, sitting me on the back of the couch, his shirt going next, hands at his jeans when I pulled him by his shoulders into another kiss.

I hopped down from the couch the moment I saw his briefs, getting a good look for myself, liking what I saw, making the rush in me pick up the speed.

"I'm not known for being speechless, but damn," I chuckled, my hand stroking his cock softly, watching him bite his lip.

He let me have my own little moment of fun, but immediately after, he took me by the wrist, twirling me around so that I was facing the couch, bending me over it. The anticipation was killing me; Santana adding to it with every move he made, his hand around my throat, bringing my head back a little so he could whisper in my ear:

"It's time you learn your lesson."

"This seems like a very fun lesson if you ask me-" I chuckled, but ended up breathless, gasping for a moment, then biting my lip.

I felt his crown pop into me, having to stretch me wide with every inch that slid up, which was a good bit, hitting every sensitive part along my walls. I had to bite my lip hard, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of hearing me truly moan just yet.

"Got nothing smart to say now huh?" He snickered, thrusting into me hard, keeping his hips pinned against me and that made the moans I was holding back jump out, "Come on, I know you have a loud mouth."

"Got damn you," I whispered under my breath, closing my eyes and just taking in the crazy good feeling, it becoming hard to handle how he was bottoming me out already.

It was hard to believe how hard and fast he could go for so long, my hands gripping onto the end of the couch, trying to rock my hips back into him, but his pace was a bit too fast for me, his hands at my hips, sliding down to my thighs a bit, squeezing them hard with each thrust.

Again, I tried rocking back into him and when I did, his crown went past my sweet spot, making my legs shake like hell, bending over a little further, burying my face in the couch cushion.

Of course, he had to add to it, slapping my ass hard, then taking my hair, pulling my head back.

"Trying to hide something?" He huffed, laughing a bit, but burying himself deep, making me moan out so loudly, barely pulling his hips back, then pounding into me, growling in my ear, "Everyone in this damn building is going to hear you screaming my name. There ain't no hiding it, Y/N."

I was already a moaning mess, but there was one thing I wasn't doing and that was saying his name. With the mindset I have, I didn't want to give him that satisfaction, but that mindset was broken.

Being in heels definitely didn't help my legs, they were still shaking like hell, Santana's hand still pulling at my hair when he leaned back, pulling his cock all the way down and slamming every inch back.

"Fuck Santana!" I cried out, not even trying to fight it anymore.

"Huh?" He huffed, pulling back on me a little more so that I was almost standing, "I couldn't hear you."

I could feel tears form a bit from the way every nerve in my body was burning. My whole body burning like a wildfire. All of the heat coiling up in my core, the burning making my knees weak; I was barely able to stand up and if that wasn't enough, my ass received another swift smack. It made me smile, my ass tingling and I could feel it steaming.

"You're fucking amazing, Santana," I praised, smiling with more moans, but he had me right back to whining and nearly screaming, using his foot to move my legs, spreading them a little wider, bringing me up all the way, his chest against my back.

My body was ready to fall like a game of Jenga, his hand sliding down my inner hip and rubbing my clit rapidly, his hips still rolling, using his forearm to push mine down, making his crown go even deeper. I was sure he was at my lower stomach, that's where I felt all of the impact.

All I could do was whine and moan helplessly, my walls beginning to pulsate hard and I was ready to let it all go, let my orgasm run free, but he started slowing down.

"Santana," I whined, trying to move my hips, "Don't do this to me."

"I'm not fully convinced that you learned your lesson," Santana scoffed, "But I'm about to find out."

He began to give me slow thrusts, but every single one was hard, still able to keep the sense of my orgasm around, almost triggering it, but not letting it happen. Sharp whines fell from my lips with every thrust, his hand still at my clit.

"Please, Santana," I asked, trying not to sound like I was begging, but that's what he wanted.

"Huh?" He teased, beginning to pick up his pace a little more, "I'm having a hard time hearing you. Especially with you moaning like that."

He knew I was ready to snap. I tried to fight it, but with every thrust, every moan, I was becoming desperate, his ungodly speed bringing my orgasm right back again and I didn't want it going anywhere; So, I gave him what he wanted.

"Please just-" I began, having to swallow my pride, "Please just let me cum, Santana. Please, please."

"That's all you had to do," He whispered, bending me over the couch again, lifting one of my legs and going so hard, but finally, with a super tight clench of my walls, wrapped around him so tight, I could feel every part of his cock slide up and when his crown went past my sweet spot again, I actually let out a loud scream.

"Oh, my fuc-" I cried, holding onto one of his hands for dear life, "Santana!"

My body was going crazy, shaking and tensing up at the same time. Santana actually helped a bit when he held me by the sides, feeding me some softer thrusts while all of the wet heat just fell out onto him, still getting some faint moans out of me while I was trying to catch my breath.

"Told you I was going to put you in your place," Santana chuckled, but I just ignored his comment for now.

My brain felt like it was lagging, my body ready to just drop and I even admitted that when I whispered, "And I thought wrestling was rough."

Santana heard me and laughed, leaning down, teasing me, "Aww, the princess can't take a few rough strokes?"

"I'm still standing ain't I?" I smirked, fighting through the shaking and standing up, "In red bottoms too."

"They ain't as red as your ass though," He noted, stroking my ass where he slapped it, and even, I laughed at it.

"I will admit," I sighed, swallowing my pride, looking back at him to say, "Maybe you did actually teach me a lesson."

"Trust me, whether if you admit it or not," Santana smiled, lighting tapping my ass again, kissing me when he whispered, "I know I did."

[mindofharry]

here’s some vampire harry!!!!! pls treat him with the love and respect he deserves <3

“Honey, this is just water under the bridge” Your mother, Joanne, reassured you. She placed a rogue piece of hair behind your ear. You were both sitting on your bed, cuddling like you were 10 years old again. Getting fired, from your dream job for no apparent reason at all has basically broken you. Your mother is trying to reassure you, that it was meant to happen - that everything happens for a reason. You just want your job back.

“We’ll start job hunting again, next week. Ok?” Joanne said, you sighed and rolled over on your sighed. Your mum rubbed your back and took all the dirty cups from your room with her as she left your room.

You tried to sleep, to try and forget everything that had just happened that afternoon. But, your mind was occupied and too busy. So you decided you better start looking for some jobs, even interviews. Even though you still live with your mum, you still need money. Not just for yourself, but your mum too. All the money that comes into the house is coming from you and the jobs you have. You were finally comfortable with money, for the first in your life. But the world just really hated you at the moment.

You walk over your desk and sit down, opening up the second hand laptop you bought yourself for christmas. It’s nothing special like a mac, but it does the job. Once you’re logged in, you open google and type in ‘JOBS IN MY AREA’. You didn’t go to college and you barley passed high school, you’ll be lucky if you even get a job at the local book store.

You needed to stop this, punishing yourself. It’s not your fault, you remind yourself.

Nearly falling asleep at your desk, you decided to head to bed. Tomorrow will be better.

**

Tomorrow is not better. It’s worse than yesterday. You couldn’t even bare to open your laptop after being so disappointed last night. And you’re mum kept trying to reassure you, but you felt responsible for this.

Your mum couldn’t work, she’s not well and she’s in denial about it. She goes to AA meetings and talks with therapists, but she just can’t stay sober. You’ve tried to get her into working, but she manages to fuck it up everytime. Your mum is good mother, she took care of you and did the best she could. But sometimes you just wished she’d just stay sober, for even a week. So you could be a normal 19 year old, go out for drinks and hang out with friends. But you know she’s not a normal mum. And that’s something you just have to live with.

“Morning, love” Joanne said sipping on her ‘tea’. You knew it was alcohol so you gave her a pointed look.

She sighed and poured the drink down the sink. “Good, now go brush your teeth and we can talk” you say pulling your hair up. You mother shook her head and sighed. “I’m the mum here, Y/N. Don’t treat me like i’m the teenager” she said and you laughed. Really? This is how today’s going to go? the universe really hates me, you thought.

“You just hid vodka from me mum” you say and she sighed walking over and kissing your temple. “I’m sorry, ok? I’m trying, lovey” she said and you could tell how hard she was trying to keep together. you nodded and smiled, this was going to be a good day. Bite your tongue, Y/N.

“Yeah, i know. Now go get ready, i need help job hunting” you say and she nodded making her way out of the kitchen and up to her room. You sighed and put the kettle on. You walked into the pantry and took the vodka she had opened and poured it down the sink. Let’s see how long it takes her to notice.

You sat down with your cup of tea and one for your mum, opening up the paper and your laptop.

When your mum came back in, she looked a lot nicer and healthier. The shower did her good.

“So i saw someone looking for an assistant on facebook” Your mum said logging into her facebook on your laptop. You smiled to yourself, she really cared about you. “His name is harry i think, something along the lines of needing someone to sort out his schedule which you’re pretty good at” she said showing you the post. A few, actually a lot, of people had already liked the post and there was people sharing their CVs in the comments begging for a chance. You didn’t have the heart to tell your mum that this person wasn’t going to accept you.

“I mean, you can apply for other jobs but i think it’s perfect for you” She said biting her nip nervously. You nodded smiling in reassurance. “Yeah, it’s perfect mum. Thank you, i’ll try and get an interview. I also found a cleaning job too, so that’s good. Both jobs look like they pay well” you say with a shrug.

Joanne nodded and kissed your temple. “You’ll get a job. Don’t worry about it.”

After sending your CV to multiple possible bosses, you shut your laptop and turn your phone off of silent. Job hunting is a pain in the ass and exhausting, all you can do now is make lunch and hope for the best.

**

You were braiding your mothers hair when you got the call. You were both having a girly night as your mum hadn’t drank a sip of alcohol all day, it was definitely something to celebrate.

“Is this Y/N L/N i’m speaking with?” the voice asked, he sounded so bright and chipper. And he was irish too.

“This is her! how can i help you?” you asked and the man cleared his throat and paused for a second. “I’m offering you a job. the job” he said and you almost dropped your phone. You put it on your leg, on speaker so your mum could hear and you could multitask. You brushed the ends of your mum hair and let out a shaky breath.

“Do i need to come in for an interview?”

“Well, me and the boss would like to get to know you, get a feel of how you work on your own and with help. just like a test run, but if i’m being honest the is yours” he said and you could almost cry. “You’re exactly the kind of person Harry, my boss is looking for Y/N” he said.

“I’m niall by the way, i’m harry’s personal assistant” Niall said and you smiled.

“Well, when can i come in?”

After settling some stuff with Niall, who is kind of your boss too you were free to hang up. your mum squealed and pulled you into the tightest hug ever. “I told you, everything happens for a reason! you were exactly who they were looking for, babe” your mother said caressing your cheeks. You kissed her temple and nodded.

“You’re the best, you know that?” You said and your mum shrugged. “Eh, i’m okay” she giggled, you sat back down on the couch.

“Lay down, mum. We’ve got it sorted now”

You were going in to the offices, or as what niall called STYLES x MALIK, harry styles and zayn malik are both the bosses of the fashion company they both created. They have a headquarters in the states, but they’re just starting up a new headquarters in england, as harry and zayn grew up here and would like to see their families a lot more. Niall basically told you their whole life story over the phone, which you were very thankful for. Saves you the googling.

It was a tuesday morning, when you got the go ahead to pop in. Niall said to look nice, but casual. Like you’re going out for a dinner with your partners family. So you pull out your best high waisted flare jeans, an orange stripped shirt and tucked into your jeans. You topped it off with your lucky platforms and some jewellery. You left your hair natural, and the same with your makeup only some lip gloss and mascara.

“You look beautiful, honey”

“Thanks mum” You grinned pulling her into a hug. You placed your bag over your shoulder and took the car keys from the bowl at the front door. “I’ll be back soon, ok? Go for a walk or something” you say squeezing her hand, before leaving.

20 minutes away from you, is a angry, grumpy vampire. Niall was sat in front of harry, with a grin on his face.

“She’s literally perfect harry” Niall try to reason, but harry was having absolutely none of it. He wanted to rip that blonde son of bitch heart out.

“Niall, i didn’t want her though.” Harry said standing up from his desk, opening up a file and pointing at a picture.

“i wanted her”

Harry was pointing at a girl, blonde hair, blue eyes and great blood. He had tasted her before and worked his magic into getting her an interview - of course, she doesn’t remember him though. But this Y/N girl, he didn’t want her and he never agreed to having her come here today.

“You’ll have to fire her or make up some excuse, fuck i need something” Harry mumbled placing a hand over his eyes, Niall walked over to the fridge in the corner of harrys office he opened it up and took out a bag of blood pouring it in to a small glass. He placed it on the table standing in front of a frustrated vampire.

“She’s really good, Harry. You’ll regret it if you don’t let her do the test run” Niall said before walking to the door. “And she’s hot as fuck” he added leaving the room.

Harry hated being the bad guy, usually he’s a nice person. More lively, a bit like niall. A lot more quiet though, he’s pensive and reads people really well, one of his many talents as a vampire.

Harry was born in 1908, to a wealthy family. He had caring parents, a loving sister and good future a head of him. Until he met liam payne, they met in university decided to work together. The next thing you know, liam had his fangs in harrys neck and he was immortal. The first few years were hard, he was wreck less and did everything possible to get even a drop of blood. He met zayn five years after being turned, and he was sort of like the alpha of their ‘pack’ so to speak. He taught harry all he knew about control and using powers to get what you want, but only when you so desperately need it. They met niall in the 70s, he was freshly turned and needed help. They took him under their wings, and here they are today with a fashion company and a load of money in their pockets.

“What’s all the fuss about?” Zayn asked walking into harrys office with a few files in his hands. Harry huffed and sipped on the blood niall had poured for him. “I’m closed” harry said sitting down on his chair, zayn laughed and shook his head. “You have an interview in 5 minutes, get it together styles” Zayn said and dropped the files on his desk.

“Whether we hire or not, be nice. Her file is there, read it, study it. And keep those fangs to yourself” Zayn warned pointing at harry, then walked out of his office. Harry sighed and opened the file, stopping in his tracks when he saw your face.

You’re beautiful, so fucking beautiful.

He could tell the photo was professionally done, and you definitely had gotten someone to take it in a rush. Your CV is also a mess, but harry thinks it’s endearing. God, you’ve hypnotised him already. Harry could feel your aura through a picture, how the fuck was that even possible?

“She’s here” Niall said through the glass door. Harry nodded and cracked his neck, let’s get this over with then.

He could see niall biting his lip as she walked up, he couldn’t keep it in his pants for 2 seconds.

Niall opened the door and harry watched the girl walk in, her flares and platforms got his attention. She’s perfect. For him. Niall was still checking her out, so harry cleared his throat. Niall smirked and shook his head walking out of the office.

“Take a seat” Harry said and you smiled, sitting down. “I just want to say, i’m really grateful for this opportunity” you say, and harry nearly rolled his eyes. She’s too beautiful for a sob story. “I appreciate it” you say, and harry nodded quickly wanting to move away from anything emotional.

“um, so we don’t need you” He lied and you nearly choked on you own spit. Your eyebrows furrowed and you flushed a bit. Harry could see niall shaking his head. Damn you, super human hearing.

“Don’t need me? Niall said that i was just what you were looking for” you say, not angry just confused. Harry was impressed at how well you could keep your feelings in check, but he could feel how agitated you were becoming.

“Well, he’s wrong” Harry said and closed the file. “Have a nice day” He said with a fake smile. You couldn’t believe this. Fuck this.

“Fuck you” You said grabbing your bag and hoisting it up onto your shoulder. “Woah, Woah, what’s going on in here?” Zayn asked his hands in the air.

“Ask him, thanks for nothing” You say moving to walk out of the office. You needed to get out of here. “Just wait” Zayn called out, you stopped and sighed turning around.

“You’ve got the job” zayn said and your eyes widened in shock. “You start this friday, niall will email you detail. Use this week to treat yourself, on me ok?” Zayn said handing you a 50 dollar note. Who are you to deny money? You nodded and smiled at him. “Thank you” you say and he nodded.

“Don’t disappoint me”

**

You got yourself a coffee on the way home, you were a little overwhelmed and you needed to calm down before you went home to your mum. You just hope she didn’t do anything stupid while you were out.

“Mum, i’m home” you called out handing your bag up on the hanger. You got no response, so you looked around the house. Nothing in the kitchen or bathroom. The only places left are her room and living room.

You walked into the living room, to see your mum passed out on the couch a bottle of wine and an empty bottle of vodka on the coffee table. you sighed “Oh, mum” you said tears welling up in your eyes. “Why do you keep doing this” you mumbled picking up the wine and empty bottle, you put them away and cleaned up the cup. After that, you placed a blanket over her.

“You’ll get better soon, mum. I’ll be able to pay for it. We’ll have everything we’ve ever dreamt of and more” You say, kissing her forehead.

The next couple of days, you were nursing your mother back to health and used the 50 dollars your new boss gave you to by some groceries. Your mother really needed some hangover snacks, and she needed a lot of them. Luckily, you’ve been doing this a lot longer than you should’ve.

“Mum, i’m off to work” You said peaking through her door. She wasn’t talking to you at the moment.

“Alright, there’s medicine on the counter downstairs, snacks and stuff too. There’s no alcohol and no money, so don’t even try” You warned closing her door. God, this was so hard. You wondered how long it would take to be fired from this job.

You arrived early at the office, niall greeted you and took you to your own little office. It was nothing huge, but you absolutely adored it.

“Hey, don’t worry about harry” Niall said and you nodded. “I’m not, don’t worry” you reassured him smiling as you put down your diary.

“Good, well i’ll leave you to it” Niall said and you grinned at him.

“Good luck”

“Why?”

“You’ll need it”