#how to speed up iPhone

[jypsyvloggin]

How to offload apps from iphone?

How to offload apps from iPhone? Ever felt your iPhone getting sluggish? Running out of space for those epic travel vlogs? Offloading apps can be a lifesaver! It frees up valuable storage without completely deleting the app itself. Here���s how to become an offloading pro on your iPhone: Understanding Offloading: Offloading removes the app itself from your phone, but keeps all its data…

[sixeyesonathiel]

nerd!satoru who yaps nonstop about the multiverse while you’re just trying to eat your lunch, waving his hands around dramatically as he explains the concept of alternate dimensions with half a rice ball in his mouth and crumbs stuck to the corner of his lips. who pokes at his food with a mechanical pencil because he forgot his chopsticks again, and then insists with wide eyes and a mouth half full, “technically, pencils are just wooden utensils for intellectuals.” he gets giddy over a new graphing calculator update like it’s a new iphone drop, tapping the screen like it’s a baby animal, and once dragged you into a 40-minute rant about ant communication hierarchies while you were just brushing your teeth, half-asleep and mouth foaming with toothpaste.

he has no less than ten tabs open at all times—reddit conspiracy theories, physics forums, a paused youtube video on quantum tunneling, a spreadsheet titled “do cats defy newton’s laws?”, a google doc labeled “reasons why kissing might be a form of molecular alignment,” and none of it has anything to do with the assignment he’s supposed to be doing. he zones out during lectures, doodling black hole spirals, equations shaped like hearts, and cats in lab coats in the margins of his notes. once, he drew you holding hands with a worm in a bowtie and captioned it “me and my universe.” somehow still manages to get top marks every single time, even though he once turned in an assignment with a greasy fry stain in the corner because he used it as a napkin in the library mid-cram session.

he mutters the weirdest things under his breath like “i feel like a misaligned proton today” or “the moon’s energy was too sarcastic last night” and you just blink at him like🧍‍♀️while sipping your drink. he wears mismatched socks on purpose and says, “it’s a metaphor for duality.” has five alarms labeled “wake up genius,” “ur gonna flunk,” “your girlfriend will leave you,” “pls satoru,” and “EMERGENCY: CUTE, PRETTY AND SCORCHINGLY HOT GIRL WAITING” and still manages to sleep through all of them unless you call him. his glasses? perpetually smudged, held together with washi tape. his notebooks? an unholy fusion of complicated theorems, grocery lists, pressed flowers, cat doodles, love notes to you, and a page just titled “top 10 reasons why my girlfriend is cuter than entropy.”

his laptop is a biohazard—dusty, overworked, full of files like “time_is_an_illusion_final_FINAL_reallyfinal_actuallyfinal.pptx” and “uRwrong_iMright.docx.” the case is covered in anime stickers, tiny equations, stars drawn with glitter pen, and a wrinkled polaroid of you sticking your tongue out that he keeps taped on like it’s a sacred relic. he listens to lo-fi while studying and pauses every few minutes just to sigh dreamily and whisper, “this part sounds like you looking at me for the first time.”

and yet… he’s so fine it’s borderline illegal. tall, messy white hair that sticks up in all directions and defies every known force of nature, ice-blue eyes that melt when they look at you, and a cocky little smile that makes your chest hurt even when he says things like, “do you think our cells are spiritually linked?” he doesn’t even try to be charming—he just is, like he spawned with a flirt trait.

you fw it. you fw him. every unfiltered ramble, every hyperactive explanation about wormholes or why he thinks bees are secretly time travelers. the way his voice speeds up when he’s excited, and how his hands start waving like he’s conducting an invisible orchestra of nerdiness. you don’t even bother trying to follow every word—you’re just watching him, heart doing somersaults, because he’s so beautiful when he’s passionate. and the fact that you never laugh at him? only ever smile and let him go on? yeah. that cracked his emotional firewall a long time ago.

so now he’s all sunshine and sparkles around you. a literal bundle of joy. grinning at his phone like a middle schooler when you text him “lol ok.” kicking his feet while giggling, voice memos full of stuff like “what if we held hands inside a particle accelerator 😳👉👈” sent at 2:13 a.m., followed by three minutes of him wheezing into a pillow. he calls you his “favorite constant,” even if you don’t get the joke. and if you do? he twirls his hair, blushes, and stares at you like you just split the atom and made it cute.

he makes playlists named “gravity got nothing on how hard i fell for you,” draws you in lab coats saying “ur the thesis to my hypothesis,” keeps your photo in his pencil case and shows it to random people like “this is my girlfriend. she understands my quantum jokes.” if they blink weirdly, he’ll just smile and say, “it’s okay, not everyone gets theoretical perfection.”

being loved by you makes him goo. makes his neurons do the macarena. you make all his bizarre little pieces light up like neon signs. you walked into his strange little world and said “yeah, i’ll stay,” and now he’s rearranging every cosmic thread to make sure it’s perfect for you. adds fairy lights. labels his notebooks “our theories.” buys matching pens. you made his chaos feel like a cozy little planet. he buys you plushies shaped like atoms and puts your name in the acknowledgements of his lab reports. tells people “she’s the reason the data graphs came out prettier.”

nerd!satoru who’s helplessly, hopelessly, tooth-rottingly in love with you. who grabs your hand mid-ramble just to feel you close. who brings you hot cocoa and explains entropy like it’s a bedtime story. who kisses your forehead and tells you “you’re my favorite anomaly in this whole universe.”

and he thanks you—not in grand declarations, but in the quiet moments: when he scoots closer to you without saying a word, when he tugs on your sleeve with glassy eyes after a long day, when he looks at you after an hour of nerding out like you built the whole galaxy just to hear him talk.

his world was spinning way too fast. then you walked in and gave it gravity. and now he orbits you—and he’s never been happier to revolve around anything in his life.

[motorsportbarbie13]

Post It - Part 6 - LN4

when lando stumbles upon a random tiktok of a pretty american influencer, he can't stop himself from sliding into her DMs. what happens next is more than both of them ever bargained for.

warnings/notes: angsty and descriptions of anxiety. swearing. Big giant huge thank you to @lestapiastrisgirl as usual for helping me out with the motivation in this chapter. You’re the bestest 🫶🏻. pairing: lando norris x influencer!reader word count: 4.3k words

|| - Part 1 || - Part 2 || - Part 3 || - Part 4 || - Part 5 ||

*Transcript of sit down interview between McLaren Formula 1 Driver Lando Norris & ESPN Commentator David Croft (“Crofty”) LIVE on ESPN* 

Crofty: This year has started out with a lot of pressure on you, more so than years before. 

Lando: *grinning* Yeah, it’s a bit nuts isn’t it?

Crofty: Well deserved though, well deserved. After your performance in Abu Dhabi and then the first few races this year, it’s been non-stop pressure.

Lando: It has, but the pressure is a good thing. At least for me it is. It means we’re doing good, the expectations going into this year were high and so far it seems like the team and I are living up to them. 

Crofty: I’d say so. A win in Australia, Japan, and last time out in Saudi Arabia. For someone who just got their first win in Formula 1 last year, that’s a lot of success real quick. 

Lando: The team worked hard, I worked hard, we all deserve the rewards of it. 

Crofty: How has it been personally? You look like a different person compared to last year. A lot more confident, more relaxed. Are you doing anything different this year? 

Lando: I mean, coming off the Constructors win last year was a huge boost to my confidence. I’ve got a lot of good people in my corner and I’m focusing on finding time between races to really center myself and make sure I tune out the noise.  

Crofty: Tuning out the noise. What does that look like?

Lando: I’ve been using those off-weeks when I’m not in Woking to disconnect. My girlfriend and I spent the week before the Japan GP in Osaka. We just totally unplugged from everything. It was really nice. 

Crofty: (smirks because he *knows* he’s got a viral clip on his hands.) And then you went and won that race?

Lando: *nods, small smile on his lips* I did. 

When Lando finishes his interview with Crofty ahead of the Miami GP in May, the first thing he sees is his press officer looking like she swallowed a lemon. 

“Everything okay, Corinne?” He asks, following her towards McLaren’s hospitality where they have some more content to film later that afternoon. 

“Next time you confirm the fact that you have a girlfriend to Crofty on Live TV, could you at least give me some warning?” She snaps back, fingers flying furiously over the keyboard of her iPhone. 

Lando stops in his tracks, starting after his press officer as she continues to speed walk through the sweltering Miami heat. “I did what?” He chokes, suddenly terrified to open his phone. 

Corinne stops, finally noticing her charge isn’t beside her anymore, trowing him a ‘are you kidding me’ look. “‘My girlfriend and I spent the week before the Japan GP in Osaka’” She mimics.  “Does that ring a bell, Norris?” 

Despite the humidity, Lando breaks out in a cold sweat. You probably hadn’t seen the interview yet, you were flying into Miami from Boston right now and as far as he knew you hadn’t landed. “Oh God,” He groans. “She’s going to kill me.” 

Corinne looks up at him, taking a momentary break from monitoring the comments on McLaren’s latest post. ESPN hadn’t posted the clip but she was certain once someone registered what Lando had said, it would be up on all platforms. Twitter was starting to chatter about it now though, so it was only a matter of time before it broke elsewhere.

 “That’s a bit dramatic, don’t you think? You two have been begging people to gossip about you since she showed up at the track with you in China. Much to my dismay, might I add.” 

That was true, Lando supposed. The Japan trip had been a turning point, with both of you freely and brazenly including the other in your own social media. Nothing had ever been confirmed but it had been obvious and when you both had seen the kind of engagement and fun fans were having, you both kind of leaned into it. 

So, it wasn’t the fact that he thought you’d want to hide. That wasn’t it at all. 

“She’s going to kill me because I haven’t actually asked her to be my girlfriend yet.” He groans before reaching for his phone. 

“Lando Norris.” Corinne sighs heavily, shaking her head. 

Lando trails behind Corrine as he types a quick text to you, ignoring the amount of red bubbles above his Intagram and Twitter icons. That was not a good sign. 

*Whatever you do, don’t check any socials before you call me when you land.* 

In hindsight, he probably could have led with a different message but in his defense, he was beginning to spiral. Everything had been going so well between you two and he was so scared to rock the boat. You’d been all but confirming your relationship since Japan but you hadn’t ever really hard launched anything. Mostly because you hadn’t discussed it. You knew you were a better person when he was around and he knew that he craved your presence like starved man in the desert. You and Lando were both a bit gun shy when it came down to it though so the serious discussion of what you two meant to each other just hadn’t happened.

As he walks behind Corinne back to hospitality, another wave of panic washes over him. Girlfriend. You two had known each other for less than six months. He knew how he felt and how full send he was prepared to go for you but what if this was too fast for you? What if, while you didn’t want to be hidden or denied, being outed like this so quickly was going to be too much for you? He knew about your anxiety, the pressure you faced, the way you took things to heart just a little bit too much. He knew that because he saw himself do that and recognized it in you instantly. 

What if publicly outing you too quickly scared you off? 

“Lando, are you okay?” A thick Australian accent yanks Lando out of his spiral. His head snaps up to see Oscar standing in the middle of the second level of the hospitality suite. 

He wasn’t even sure how the hell he got up here, to be honest. 

Lando groans as he sits down on one of the couches in the open room, watching as Corinne joins some of the other comms staff probably trying to figure out how best to fix his blunder. 

Oscar looks around, fairly confused. He’d just woken up from a quick nap ahead of some more media obligations and had no idea what was going on. “What happened now?” 

Lando shoots him a look, as if Oscar wasn’t totally aware of his teammates innate ability to put his foot square into his mouth at the most inopportune times. “I resent the fact that you just assume I fucked up.” 

Oscar just blinks at him, patiently waiting. 

It takes a few moments before Lando huffs, throwing his hands up in the air. “I called her my girlfriend during my interview with Crofty.” 

Oscar quirks a brow. “Is she not your girlfriend?” He asks carefully. 

“We haven’t talked about it and now she’s going to think I’m a psycho outing our relationship to the public without even discussing it with her first.” Tipping his head  against the back of the couch, he closes his eyes. “Relationship? I don’t even know what the fuck we’re doing or if she even wants to be in a relationship.” 

“You’ve never talked about it?” 

Lando sits with the question for a moment. He was obsessed with you, that was for sure. He craved being around you and was starting to feel like he knew you deeper than anyone else in his life. But beyond the very ‘in the moment’ relationship you two seem to have been developing, there hadn’t been much discussion about the future. About what spending time together now meant for a year from now. 

10 years from now. 

And now he’s sped up the timeline of having that very scary, very serious discussion all because of his stupid mouth. 

A discussion that needed to happen though, to see if you two were on the same page. He knew what he wanted and it was you but you always seemed to shy away from talk of the future, from talk beyond the next few months. 

What if you didn’t see a future with him and you were just enjoying the moment with him because you knew it wouldn’t last? What if you didn’t want him for the long haul and what if he had just brought everything delicate and raw to the surface where it didn’t belong?

“Fuck, Osc. I wanted this to be different. I wanted to do things different with her. Better.” He glances up towards his teammate who’s looking at him with soft, understanding eyes. They’d become close over the 2 plus years they’d been teammates and Oscar hated seeing his friend like this. “I wanted to be better for her and here I am, still the same fuck up that can’t watch my mouth and now it’s going to ruin everything. I already got a second chance with her, I don’t think the universe is going to give me a third.”  

Miami race weekend was supposed to be a fun weekend. It was supposed to be the first time in two weeks that you’d seen Lando since leaving him after the Bahrain race. It was supposed to be a weekend spent in the face paced world that revolved around this man that smiled at you with stars in his eyes. 

But it started off as anything but. 

You had stayed up until 3am the night before, attempting to finish editing your most recent travel vlog that followed you from Bahrain to the brand trip in London and then home where you’d been for the last two weeks. Once you had nearly finished you had practically passed out, forgetting to set a second and third alarm like you usually needed to when you pulled a late night. As a result, you had slept through your one and only alarm. Normally it wouldn’t have been a problem because you were psycho about getting to the airport early enough and you usually had plenty of time from when you woke up to the time you had to leave but apparently today was going to be an exception to the rule. 

When your third Uber canceled on you, you knew you were in for a difficult travel day. Finally on your fourth try, you had to order a more expensive Uber Black but it got you to the airport just in time. Thankfully, the security line was short enough so you weren’t booking it through the airport at a flat out run, just a light little jog. 

And then as soon as you went to pay for your over-priced smoothie and croissant sandwich for breakfast, you realized you had left your debit card at home. Thankfully, you always carried a credit card or two just in case, but it was going to be annoying to have to make that extra step at the end of the month to make sure you paid off the balance of the credit card instead of just using cash. 

With the late arrival and card debacle you were able to get to your gate just as boarding was finishing up and you barely made it onto the plane. As soon as you flopped into your window seat in first class, stretching out while looking forward to the sick nap you were about to take to make up for your lack of sleep the night before you realized you had left your headphones at home. 

“Oh you have got to be kidding me.” You sigh, feeling the tears prick at the corners of your eyes. 

It was almost just too much. The lack of sleep, the forgotten debit card, the fact that you missed Lando so fiercely it was starting to scare you. It all just felt like too much to deal with and suddenly, as you sat in the seat listing to a baby back in economy start to sob violently as the plane pulled away from the gate, you wondered if you really should be going on this trip at all. Because it certainly seemed like the universe was throwing everything it had at you to keep you away from Miami. 

In a break from how your day seemed to be going, your flight takes off on time but the flight itself is a drawn out exercise in frustration. The baby’s cries, initially a sharp piercing sound morph into a dull, persistent ache behind your eyes. You had brought a book to read but every time you attempted to start the next chapter, the words just blurred together in a watercolor mess of ink and anger. 

Every bump of turbulence, every ding of the seatbelt sign, every offer of assistance from the well-meaning flight attendant pushes you just a bit closer to the edge until you’re ready to scream half way over South Carolina. You were desperate for a glass of some sort of alcohol, longing for the way the drink would dull your senses and lull you into what you knew would be a fitful sleep. But at least it would be sleep. 

You didn’t ask for anything though, knowing that the Miami heat you were about to spend the weekend in would not be good mixed with a hangover. Not to mention it was about 11 o’clock in the morning. Getting drunk, even in first class, seemed like a good way to tempt fate and ask for trouble. Besides, you wanted to be fully present when you finally got to see Lando after what felt like an eternity away from him. You didn’t want to extend your streak of bad luck you were experiencing today so instead of dropping off to sleep with the help of some wine, you settled for staring out the window. 

Eventually, a few hours into the flight, you try to distract yourself by finishing the last bits of editing your vlog needed before posting it but just the thought of starting at a screen for any length of time makes your head throb even worse. Instead, you’re left with your own thoughts, which spiraled into a vortex of anxieties. You had a habit of creating the most ridiculous worst case scenarios in your mind when you were like this, all worked up and sleep deprived. You should have pulled yourself out of the anxiety spiral but you miss all the signs of where you’re headed until it’s too late. 

Thoughts of Lando and how much you miss him and the strange uncertain territory your relationship was at dominate your thoughts. How, despite spending a stupid amount of time with him and getting to know him on a level that you’d never experienced before, you were still uncertain with where you stood with him. Close enough to post each other on your socials, spinning up rumors and speculation but not close enough for him to ask you to be more than…whatever it was you were doing.  

By the time the plane began its descent into Miami, your body felt like a tightly wound spring, ready to snap at the slightest provocation. You were exhausted, frustrated, and overwhelmed. The thought of facing whatever awaited you in Miami felt like a challenge you weren’t ready to deal with, even if you had no idea if anything at all was even going to go wrong. You could just feel it in your bones something was going to happen. It was just that kind of day. 

You knew, deep down, that you were being dramatic and that everything you’d dealt with today were just a string of minor inconveniences but for whatever reason, they felt like the heaviest things you could carry. It felt like the weight of the world had settled heavy and thick on your shoulders and you tried not to wander into the thinking that maybe this weekend was a mistake. 

And then you switched your phone back on as soon as the plane landed and your worst fears were confirmed. An explosion of notifications littering the screen along with an ominous text from Lando: Whatever you do, don’t check any socials before you call me when you land.

Oh fuck. 

 The doubts that you’d spent the entire flight stewing over resurface all over again, panic washing over you like a tsunami. As you wait for the plane to get to the gate, the scenarios of what could have happened in the brief time you were flying race through your head. You choose not to check social media, wanting to hear the worst of it from Lando himself. You’re certain it’s bad because he didn’t follow it up with anything light hearted like he usually does. No jokes. No silly memes. Nothing. Just ‘call me when you land’. 

Fuck. 

Maybe he’d been caught cheating on you. But was it cheating if you’d never actually had a conversation about what you were to each other? Probably not but you knew it would still hurt like hell. You hoped it wasn’t with Allegra, although she had been spotted in Saudi Arabia. Lando had never mentioned her though so…

Maybe he’d been photographed with a different girl all together. Maybe he was bored of you. You’d been accused of being just another bland blond influencer more times than you could count and maybe Lando had finally started to see the same things your critics did. Maybe he’d deleted all of his posts with you because you were bad for his image. 

The scenarios flew through your mind, spreading like wildfire as you followed your seat mate off the plane. The airport was busy, with people arriving for the race weekend already and the typical crowds that Miami attracted combining together to create an unusually busy terminal. You didn’t want to do this here though. Not in the middle of an airport. You refused to cry in public and you just knew that that’s exactly what was coming. 

It takes you nearly half an hour before you’re able to find a quiet corner tucked away from the hustle and bustle of the busy airport. You had to do this now before you left just in case you needed to make an emergency trip back to Boston. Which you suspected you’d need to do once you got done speaking with Lando. 

How had it gone so bad so quickly? You were just thinking about how much you missed him. How you wanted to talk to him later tonight about what you two were doing, what you meant to him and how much he was beginning to mean to you. And here you were, about to get dumped before you were even official. 

Tapping his contact info in your phone, you decide it’s time to face the music. 

Lando picks up after one ring. 

“Hi baby.” His voice is shaky when he answers, thick with nerves. 

Here it comes, you think, leaning against the cool stone wall of the alcove you’ve tucked yourself into, hoping it gives you some privacy when he drops the news of whatever’s happened. 

“Hi Lan.” You breathe, voice equally as shaky. “So…what happened?” 

“Fuck. I’m so sorry baby but…” His voice drops away and you squeeze your eyes shut, fingers gripping at the handle of your tote bag. “I slipped up in my interview with Crofty about an hour ago and called you my girlfriend on live tv.” 

You swear your heart stops and your stomach drops out of your body. 

“What?” You whisper, blinking away tears that have been threatening since you slept through your alarm this morning. 

Lando sighs heavily, “I know. I’m so sorry, my love. I really am. It wasn’t intentional, I swear. I guess I’ve been calling you my girlfriend in my head for so long, it just kind of slipped out. I didn’t even realize what I’d said until Corinne pointed it out ” 

He is totally spiraling, you realize. Just like you are but for a totally different reason. “Lan…” You start but he interrupts you before you can even get his name out of his mouth.

“I know, I know! I fucked up. I am so sorry, baby. So fucking sorry. I’ve been working so hard the last few months to think before I open my mouth but Crofty was asking how I’m handling the pressure this year and it just…came out. Talking about you and how you’re helping me deal. It just felt natural, calling you my girlfriend. I didn’t even blink. And now you’re probably freaking out because we haven’t even discussed what we mean to each other and I just went ahead like a bull in a china shop.” Lando drags in a shaky breath on the other line and you tip your head back against the wall. 

“Lando…” You try to interrupt but he’s on a roll. 

“I wanted to do this right. I wanted to tell you how you make me want to be a better person, how your presence calms the noise in my head and how when I’m around you I feel like I can breathe. How the last two weeks without you have been fucking shit because I can’t seem to sleep without you next to me. But instead, I had to open my fucking mouth to Crofty and ruin everything…” 

The genuine panic in his voice tugs at your heart. Here you were worrying that he was about to break up with you, to confess he’d been hooking up with other girls while you’d been in Boston but he had just simply outed your relationship to the press? You can hear the genuine panic in his voice, the fear that he’s ruined everything. Lando is so convinced you’re going to be furious, that you’re going to reject him, that he’s tripping over his words trying to explain himself and confessing things he probably didn’t mean to.

Suddenly, something unexpected happens. 

You start to laugh.  

It bubbles up from deep within you. It’s a wave of relief and amusement that washes over you. All of the tension, the anxiety, the fear of being rejected you’d been spiraling over for the last however many hours just dissipates in a burst of laughter. 

“You’re…laughing?” Lando asks, confusion clawing at his voice. “But…I thought you’d be mad.” 

“Mad?” You repeat, still chuckling. “Lando, I’ve had the absolute worst day today and then I get that text from you? I’ve been picturing every worst-case scenario imaginable for the past hour. I thought you’d been caught with another girl or you’d decided you didn’t want me or…I don’t know, something equally as dramatic. Calling me your girlfriend on live TV? That’s tame compared to where my brain was going.” 

“Cheating?” Lando scoffs, relief flooding his entire body as he listens to you chuckle. “Jesus Christ, baby, I’m obsessed with you. You should know that by now.” He pauses, dragging in a breath. “So, you’re not mad?” 

“Not even a little bit.” You say, your laughter subsiding finally, a smile playing on your lips. “In fact, I think it’s kind of sweet. Also a unique way to finally hard launch. How mad is Corinne?” 

Now it’s Lando’s turn to laugh. “Oh she was pissed at me but I think she’s happy she’ll finally get to stop seeing the comments asking the official McLaren account if we’re actually dating or not.” 

“I’m going to get some wine and chocolate for the entire comms team on my way to the track for what they put up with from us.” You murmur, standing up to stretch out your aching muscles. Mood lightened, you start towards baggage claim so you can attempt to find an Uber to get to the hotel. 

Lando chuckles, “Are you still at the airport?” 

You hum, “I hid myself in an alcove because I didn’t want to cry when you dumped me before we were even official.” 

Lando groans, “I’m so sorry. That text probably wasn’t the best thing to lead with, was it?” 

You can’t help the laugh that escapes your lips. “No, lets add that to the list of things not to start off a conversation with.” 

“Done.” Lando chuckles. “Now can you please go find the driver I sent for you and get your ass to the track? I really fucking miss you.” 

Your eyes soften as you walk through the final doors of the terminal where the baggage claim was along with the hired drivers. “You sent a driver for me?” 

“Of course I did. He’ll get you to the paddock and then take your bags to the hotel. I booked you your own room but you if you want you can stay with me this weekend…” 

Something warms deep in your belly as you spot the man dressed in black holding a sign with your name written on it. “Cancel the other room, Lan. I want to stay with you this weekend.” 

You can practically hear Lando’s shoulders sag in relief. “Okay. Now please hurry to the track, I’m 2 weeks behind in kisses.” 

“You’re ridiculous.” You chuckle as you approach the driver Lando sent for you. 

“Ridiculously obsessed with you.” He quips. 

“Okay, I’m hanging up now.” You roll your eyes, but smile despite how cheesy his line was.

“See you soon, my love!” Lando shouts before you end the call, smile on your lips and an extra bit of kick in your step as you follow the driver towards the car.

lando posted

lando oops. secrets outtt yourusername STRAIGHT to jail for that second one >>>lando but you're so cute, pretty girl ❤️ >>>yourusername unfair use of my favorite nickname, 5 second time penalty. >>>lando i'm taking this to the stewards >>>yourusername ok, george russel >>>user938 now this is the content we've been BEGGING for >>>user223 oh she is going to be a PROBLEM. I love it. user109 SECRET??? boy bye. you two were the worst kept secret on the internet. User238 anyone got eyes on Allegra??? 👀 👀👀

yourusername posted

yourusername can confirm ☺️ lando god DAMN your boyfriend is a lucky man >>>yourusername ikr??? user928 girl is out here living the DREAM >>>user029 nah, lando's the lucky one. out here waking up to HER. (liked by @/lando) user2929 literally the 'cute couple aesthetic' from pinterest user445 the way he just confidently said 'my girlfriend and i'. i've NEVERRRRR seen him act like this before. >>>user202 ik allegra WISHES this was her >>>user445 oh she is somewhere in europe SEETHING rn

its_allegra_babes posted

its_allegra_babes miami for a bit...heard there was a car race going on or something ;) user939 ohhhhhhhh no babes. there is still time to delete this user029 oh. oh no. who's gonna tell her? >>>user299 SHHHH lets see what happens when she finds out herself user002 oh this is going to be messy. user0929 starting a gofundme to send SOMEONE to the paddock this weekend to just...record.

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[ricciardo133]

Monaco 2017

maxiel, body swap, blowjobs, frotting, dubious consent, a little voyeurism

-

Daniel wakes to the sound of an unfamiliar alarm. He swears and with shut eyes slaps around the bed in the direction of the affronting noise. He doesn't remember inviting a girl over last night, but he did get fairly drunk. He could have called up one of the many gals he fancies in the Monaco area. There was that one chick he's been seeing now and then who invited him over last night too, but maybe she came to his place instead? His memory is frustratingly blank, but whoever it was who had the gall to set an alarm on one of his precious free Saturdays is getting officially, permanently uninvited to his flat.

Finally, his fingers make purchase around a cased phone. Purely from touch, he knows it's not his naked iPhone. He blearily peeks open in the dark room, ready to see the silhouetted curve of a woman's hips and shoulders but instead being face to face with a stuffed lion plush. He stares, as if the random stuffed animal would magically come to life and say 'hey man, sorry, my bad for the alarm at fucking six a.m.'

Daniel glances at the phone in his too pale hand. Max's phone. Max's hand. But...it's his hand?

He swears. He must be immensely hung over, possibly tripping. His lips feel swollen, tongue sitting wrong in his mouth. He licks over too-straight teeth and snaps his eyes shut.

He tries to get back to bed but the sound of several text messages ping on the aggrivating phone. Why the hell did Max leave his phone at Daniel's place? He grumbles and looks at the lit up screen as messages pop up, covering the phone's artsy wallpaper of Spa-Francorchamps in a series of rapid texts.

Daniel. Daniel. Pick up. Daniel. Are you normal? Something is wrong.

It rings. It's an incoming call coming from...Daniel? He sees his face, a photo of them together post-race Abu Dhabi last year. Why would Max pick a sweaty ass photo like this for his contact? And how the hell is he calling himself? That's not possible, Daniel thinks in confusion. The mental gears chug in sleep-addled disarray like he's been handed a sheet of calculous homework. He's not calling anyone. Why would Max's phone be getting a call from him when he's naked and half-asleep and phone-less?

Confused and pissed, he silences the phone and stares at the ceiling. He scratches his chest and feels the surprising heft of much more sizable tits.

He pauses, squeezing. Unfamiliar nipples harden under his thicker fingers. The fuck? In the too dark room, Daniel lets his alien hands drag down, feeling along a softer middle and more narrow hips. Further and with mounting concern, he feels inwards, trembling fingertips brushing too-fine, too-long pubes and then reaching a hardening girth that was far too big to be his own cock.

He springs out of bed, disoriented in a room that's not his. He trips over a ludicrously large box of Red Bull and walks over familiar clothes littered on the floor. Max's hoodies. Max's things. Max's room.

In Max's bathroom, he flips on the light. He stares at Max in Max's mirror.

Daniel reflexively reaches for a towel and wraps it around his waist, cheeks burning crimson under sharp cheekbones. "Breathe," he commands himself nervously, but it's his teammate's voice. The phone rings again, insistent. Daniel speed walks back to the bed to pick it up and answer.

"Daniel, are you okay?" he hears his own voice say on the other line, but it's not him. Not exactly. His own voice is draped in that Dutch accent as he holds Max's phone to his ear. "Are you in my apartment?"

"Max." He swallows, free hand holding onto the wall for support. "Yeah, yes. I am."

"Are you...in...me?"

Several thoughts try to bang through Daniel's mind, getting caught up in the doorframe so all that comes out is a blank, "In you?"

"You sound like you're me. Because, right now, I'm you."

"That's not possible. This is insane." Daniel paces now, panic turning manic as he looks out the window to the slightly shifted view of the same Monaco seaside, just one floor up. It's still dim outside, headlights and street lamps sparkle while bright white yacht reflections ripple on dark waters.

"Daniel? Are you there? Please say something."

Max sounds scared, and Daniel feels like he's hearing his own nineteen-year-old self talk to him through space and time, nervous and anxious and needing reassurance everything will be okay.

Pull it together, Ricciardo.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm here. We'll figure this out, Max." Somehow. He has no idea how, but that's not what matters right now. He starts grabbing an outfit and tossing clothes on the bed. "Luckily no race today, right? I'll go upstai- downstairs to my place. If you're there, maybe we just need to see each other to un-Freaky Friday ourselves, yeah?"

"I don't know where I am, Daniel."

Pausing, he blinks and feels his stomach somehow drop further, as if he'd shit it out. "Are you in a bathroom with pink walls?"

"Yes! Daniel, I am. How did you know?"

Daniel smacks his forehead a bit too hard and groans. "Fuck, you're at her place."

"Who's place?"

"This girl I've been seeing. She invited me over last night, and drunk-me must've went."

"Oh, she was the one in the bed."

"Fuck, did you talk to her?" Or more.

"No, she's asleep. I woke up next to her." Relief. "Daniel, you are...uh...quite covered in...hickies."

Great, excellent. Max is seeing him post-coitus. "Well, at least we didn't swap bods when I was doing the deed, eh? A fine how-do-you-do to wake up balls deep in a stranger."

"Daniel," Max laughs in shock like he's just had a ballon popped in his face. Daniel feels more grounded, eased to break the tension and relieved to hear his teammate's laugh, even if it is coated in his own voice. Weird. "No, thankfully I can leave and maybe she will not notice me."

"Yeah, really rather her not get the idea I'm suddenly a Dutch weirdo after banging."

"Oh, please. I can act like you. Listen," Max clears his throat. "G'day, mate."

"Wow. That sucked. Try harder, pal."

"G'day, I'm Daniel Ricciardo and I like screaming metal and boobs."

"Hm. Getting closer."

"Do me next."

Daniel blushes despite himself. "Fine, hi, I'm Max Verstappen from the Netherlands," Daniel says, frightened how easy it is to sound a bit too pitch perfect. Max's raspy, breaking voice and lisp all come a bit too easy. He hams it up to shake it off. "I love cars so much. I'm in a committed relationship with my sim and crank my hog there every night."

A bark of a laugh. "That's very good, Daniel. But I would never come in the simulator. It might damage it."

"Great, thanks for clearing that one up, Max. Maybe I'll go sit there while I wait for you and take your hardware for a spin." Meaning the simulator. Not his cock. Obviously. Daniel feels himself flush too hot again, steeped in awkwardness as there is a silent beat where he feels he very clearly should clarify that, but then he'd have to potentially admit he has already felt Max up a bit, and why was his dick so fucking huge and why did Max never say a thing? Not that teammates and friends, nothing more, would talk about having a monster dick with each other. But the amount of times Daniel joked about having ten inches and Max saying 'oh same' and he meant it was making Daniel's head spin.

"Daniel?"

"Yeah?"

"How do I get home?"

"Oh, right." He gives directions from the hook-up's flat to their building. "And don't forget my keys and shit. Probably on her kitchen counter."

"Okay. And Daniel?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

"What're you apologizing for, Verstappen? Not like you did this."

"No, but I maybe know who did. But I didn't know she was serious, I-." He hears a woman call his name on the other end. "Fuck," they say in unison.

"Max. Max, be chill, okay? Don't panic."

"I'm not panicking," he says, panicked.

"Just say you have a doctor's appointment and you gotta run. Max? Hey?"

The call doesn't end but he hears a clatter as if Max dropped it to the floor.

-

Max stands in Daniel's body as a woman he's never met wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him into a deep kiss. He stares at her closed eyes and feels Daniel's heart crash and bang in his chest. Delicate, long tan fingers hold her arms and a betraying current of want makes him stiffen all over. Her fingers lace through curls as she gives them a soft pull.

"Trying to sneak out without round two, big boy?" she purrs in his ear. She is hot. Her breath makes his skin break into chills. "Why so quiet, Daniel? Cat got your tongue?"

"I have an appointment." Lie better, he commands himself. He glances at the phone on the floor, call ongoing. He's worried he might give his teammate a heart attack with how his pulse spikes. "Like, with my trainer."

"Oh, boo. Can't he wait?" Her hands drift down, caressing his ass and working inwards. "You said it was your day off today, and all you wanted to do," she kissed and sucked over an already purple mark on his neck, "you said all you needed was to run me through all day long."

And she's on her knees, mouth on his length- Daniel's length. Max is unwound, shocked and blissed and gasping as she takes him so deep so fast. He reflexively holds her head, feeling her bob up and down as he momentarily forgets everything. He's never had sex before. Late bloomer. Too busy. Too shy. No one's ever touched him like this.

And it shows, he feels the edge quickly approaching as she hums onto Daniel's length. He watches the numbers on the phone call tick up, seconds counting off in real time how poorly he's handling this, all for him to hear. The thought makes him reel. Daniel. Listening. Was he listening?

He groans, gasping as she works his balls and choking on a swear as he feels the orgasm bubble up inside his body, so flushed with need and want and urgency until he crashes out, spilling into her mouth.

This is how Daniel feels when he comes. He etches every sensation into his brain as she swallows and kisses along his well-trimmed hair and wide hips.

"You usually don't come so quick, baby."

"I'm sorry." He dips and grabs the phone, guilt hitting like thunder after lightning. "I'm so fucking sorry, but I have to go."

She calls his name as he scoops up Daniel's familiar hoodie and pulls on a pair of running shorts. He slips the phone into his pocket, says a million apologies in a barely attempted Aussie accent as he collects Daniel's items and scurries out the door barefoot. Too frazzled to go back, he books it.

Blessedly, the Monaco streets are fairly empty, and he doubts anyone would believe some random passerbys if they say they saw Daniel Ricciardo running shoeless down the street. He slips down an alley, scampering up a set of stairs where Daniel once showed him how to sneak in to avoid their building's doorman, slipping through the delivery dock and dumpsters to the freight elevator, tapping in a quick code, and riding up to the top floor to Max's penthouse suite.

He pulls out his phone. The call is still going. Max stares at the bitten-down nails gripping the iPhone as he holds onto the small, guilty hope that maybe he didn't hear Max getting blown.

As the elevator shimmies upwards, Max looks at Daniel's hands, raising the other to flip them over and clench and unclench just to feel it. He glances up the rising numbers on the elevator and, with a thoughtless rush, slips a finger in his mouth, sucking and running his tongue around the tip. He pulls it out in a flushed huff. "Stop, Max." The sound of his name in Daniel's voice makes his heart hammer and his dick twitch. He shouldn't like this all so much, but it's so close, so visceral. He wishes the elevator would get stuck, just for a little bit, to let him feel up every inch of Daniel. "Perv," he whispers, but the shame isn't beating out the high. He's reeling, being able to touch and know. He jolts remembering the phone and hopes Daniel didn't hear a thing.

He can't buck up the nerve to talk on the line until he's reached the top and walked down the hall, standing outside his own apartment's door without a key to get inside.

He holds the phone to his ear, "Daniel?"

"Max?"

"Fuck. I'm sorry. I'm here."

"Yeah, give me a second."

Max lets pathetic guilt saturate him as he sees the call end. He readies the apology he's been working on all run over, but nothing comes out as he sees his own face as the door opens. His gaze flits up and down, taking in the sight of his own body in just a pair of sweatpants, standing stock still in the doorway. It's him.

Daniel's in there. They stare at each other. Max's shoulders heave, body still wired from the run over, finger still a bit damp with spit. He watches Daniel stare back, wide blue eyes and parted wet lips.

"I'm sorry," they say at once. Max blinks. "Daniel, I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, I...I should've told her to stop."

"Nah, mate. It's fine. She's a stunner, isn't she? I get it. Hard to turn down a blow job, especially in this, uh, situation, but, um, yeah I also...I should've not, um, listened and...I....kinda, y'know."

"You what?"

Daniel's blue eyes roll in exasperation. "Can you come inside so we stop talking about voyeurism in the hallway?"

Max hustles in as Daniel closes the door behind him. Max feels off-kilter, both at seeing his flat from the wrong height and knowing Daniel heard everything.

"It's okay, Daniel. If you listened."

"What if," Daniel said, sitting on one of the barstools in the adjacent kitchenette, his own fingers slipping off runny condensation from an undrank glass of water on the counter. "What if I did more than listen?"

"Like what do you mean, Daniel?"

He watches his own Adam's apple bob up and down as he swallows. "Come on, don't make me say it."

"I may be in you, but I can't read your thoughts, Daniel."

"You know how hearing sexy moaning is sometimes enough? And, well. It seemed fair to...do it. Since you were getting off, too."

"What?"

"I jerked off, Max." He says it flatly but his whole face and neck are pink, and single bead of sweat slips down his own cheeks just like the wet glassin his hands. "Sorry, mate. Like, it was fucking hot. And why the hell is your dick porno sized?"

"It is...no, it is normal sized."

"Yeah, for a fucking werewolf, not a teenage Dutch boy."

"It is only a bit bigger than yours."

Daniel gives him a withering look. "No need to lie, mate. Especially since you've seen it now."

"I think it's a very good size, Daniel."

"Yeah, does yours make girls run for the hills or what?"

"Well, a girl has never seen it." Daniel raises an eyebrow, somehow moving muscles Max has no memory of being able to flex himself. "No one has seen it, besides like doctors and stuff."

"Max. You're a virgin?"

Now it's Max's turn to swallow, reaching for the glass of water. Daniel catches his wrist mid-air, hands wet and soft.

"Max, was that your first time? Just now with her?"

"Yes. Technically, if it counts since I'm...you...right now."

Daniel's grip tightens.

-

Max lost his fucking virginity in his own body. Daniel can't seem to pull his hand back, fingers clutching Max's hand, his hand.

And it felt good. It felt so wildly good to pump and twist and listen to his own voice sigh and break in ways he's never heard. He's pretty quiet in bed himself, but Max was so vocal, so pleading. He didn't know he could make sounds like that.

"Daniel, if you're upset-," Max starts.

"I'm not upset."

Max walks around the counter, never breaking contact. Daniel looks up into his own eyes, the ghost of Max's expressions in his own features.

"I'm just," Daniel's shoulders fall. "Aw, mate. Your first time should be special. I feel like kinda shitty it happened this way."

"Well, being in someone else's body is kind of special?"

Daniel snorts. "Well, yeah, I guess." He looks over his own tattoos, twisting Max's wrist gently and ushering up his other arm to hold both of his hands. Their fingers intertwine. He wants to crack the pressure, to joke he just wants to see what his own body looks like from the outside, but the gentle tremble in Max's hands is so precious, so delicate and warm. He feels he's holding a small creature in his hands, gently smoothing small circles in the soft flesh between his thumbs.

"Daniel," Max breathes. "Was it good for you? To come as me?"

"It was. Fuck, you come so much, too. I did do it in the shower. Sorry in advance for the clog."

Max smirks. "No, I do it there anyway."

"Shit's a bitch to clean out. Your plumber will hate you."

"Then I'll start doing it in the sim like you said." Max eyes him as he leans in. "Or in the kitchen, right here."

Daniel feels Max's grip tighten. The nagging thought he should not be doing this with his lovesick colleague feels distant and irrelevant in the dreamlike haze of seeing his own face get closer. "We can only get so wet, right?"

"Like in the shower?" Max asks.

"No, like, the uh, repercussions. If that's the word. Like, we're already in this deep, so what's a little fucking between friends, right?"

He watches his own lips part. "Do you meant it?"

"Maybe give you a proper first time, so I don't feel like I ruined your deflowering."

"Daniel. Please."

Daniel finally lets Max's hands go so he can instead grip and pull him into a kiss. He always wondered how it'd feel to kiss himself and to kiss Max. The unreal combination of both, of his own lips along Max's plush pair made him feel electric and impossible. Max's own hands grip along his bare back, short nails dragging down broad shoulders. Nothing matters. Not how they'd switch back. Not what crazy magic did this to them in the first place. All that matters is seeing Max, not just hearing, as he comes for him.

"Back to your bed? Just us and the lion?"

He watches his brown eyes widen. "That's, uh, he was a gift. From a fan. That happened to be there."

"Aw, don't sweat it. It's cute. Did ya give it a good name? Like 'Daniel'? Obviously, that's best name in my humble opinio-"

Max cups his cheeks. Daniel pauses.

"Say your name again," Max says, tone taught with a sudden, heady undercurrent.

"My name?"

"I want to hear it."

"Okay, um." He takes a shuddering breath. "Daniel."

"Max," he says back, his own voice never laced with such conviction before, with such heat. "Max," he says again as his fingers softly drift into straight, cropped blonde hair. "I want you, Max."

It's weird, nearly too weird, but Daniel can't bring himself to stop. He can't deny it's good, in some perverse inversion. As if he's the blushing virgin, he whispers his own name onto his own lips as Max pulls him into a heated kiss.

"Just for now, until this wears off, right?" Max asks.

"Yeah, yes." Another long pull like each kiss was a lung-full of air before dipping back underwater. "For now, whatever you want. Touch me, touch you, however you want. It's your body, after all."

"And this is yours."

It's his. His arms that lift him and his strength that carries Max's body to his bed and gently lays him out. That pulls his own sweats off his hairy legs. He feels his smooth, tattooed thigh rub against his hardening cock. His hands rolling him over, his lips pressing hickies to match the constellation of purple cosmos on his own neck. The friction and the heat and whispered names that bounce and blend as a gasped 'Daniel' becomes a beg and a plea as they rut faster together. Daniel looses track of who's who until he realizes he's back in his own skin, coming hard on Max's stomach as the younger man gasps and comes soon after.

He falls into the bed beside him, pliant and warm as Max pulls him in close.

"It wore off," Daniel says breathlessly, relieved but also somewhat remise his time in Max Verstappen is already over. "I didn't even get a chance to see what my asshole looks like."

Max laughs. "We can maybe do it again. I think it was my mother's doing." Daniel gets up on his elbows and looks down at his teammate. "She has a little magic and said one day she would want us to see things from each other's view, you know? That she didn't like to see us too intense as rivals."

"Very kind of your mum, but, uh, any chance you were going to mention magic being real anytime sooner?"

"You never believed me about my dick length, you think you would've believed me about magic?"

"Fair."

"She taught me a little myself. It's just simple spells, and she obviously didn't know the timing was unideal when she cast this one."

"A non-race weekend's not a bad pick, just a heads up next time would be nice so I don't have my ass out."

Max, back in his own body, looks up with those blue eyes thrown into bright contrast with his own flush. "Wait, maybe a next time?"

"Maybe a next time. If your car is better, then definitely we can swap then." Max laughs.

"I'll call and ask my mum for the spell. I can do it whenever."

"And maybe...if you want to do, uh...this again." Max freezes, eyes wide. "Like, maybe we only do the deed when we swap? So, it's not really like a normal hook-up. More like masturbating, right? Sort of? So it doesn't count? You as me and me as you sometimes. If you want, Daniel?"

Max sucks in a breath and looks gobsmacked. "Y-yeah. Okay, sure. Only then...Max."

The lines are too blurred. He lays back down and lets Max's arms wrap around him to cuddle in closer, unnerved how good it feels to lose himself in his grip. He's shocked how he wouldn't mind switching again now, feeling it all over again. He'll need to keep this unreal need in check, but it all doesn't matter in this moment as he rests his head on Max's chest. Daniel's fingers drift up along those soft tits, feeling that nipple harden again between his own fingertips.

[diamonddaze01]

you want thoughts. i'll give you one

young chief of berk, tamer of the alpha yoon jeonghan

TEST DRIVE

⚔︎ PAIRING yoon jeonghan x dragon tamer! reader | ⚔︎ WC: 1.1K ⚔︎ A/N: oh i see how it is. i ask you about your hyperfixation so now you dangle mine in front of me.... anyways enjoy this absolute train wreck i wrote in my iphone notes app in the office bathroom.

The early morning sky over Berk was a dark canvas, streaked with the faintest hint of sunrise. The wind was biting, cutting through the training grounds like the sharp edge of a sword. The air smelled of sea salt and firewood, a reminder that this was a land of constant, rugged survival.

Jeonghan stood at the center of it all, his posture relaxed yet undeniably commanding, with Luma—his Night Fury—by his side, their silhouettes sharp against the rising dawn. The others were gathered around him, each of them perched on their dragons. His gaze swept over them like a predator eyeing its prey, his expression unreadable, but every muscle in his body screamed power.

“Alright, listen up,” Jeonghan’s voice rang out, cutting through the murmur of his group. “We’ve been through the basics, and now we’re in the real deal. No half-assed flying today. You’re going to show me that you can handle anything I throw at you. And you, especially”—his eyes fixed on Seungcheol, who was already fiddling with his helmet—“don’t get cocky just because you’ve been flying Gravel since you were twelve.”

Seungcheol scowled. “I know what I’m doing, Jeonghan. You don’t have to—”

“No excuses.” Jeonghan cut him off with a sharp gesture, his tone lethal. “We’ve got no time for excuses today. You’re either prepared, or you’re not. You’ll know the difference by the end of this training.”

The others exchanged uneasy glances, and Jeonghan’s gaze flicked over to Jisoo, who was lounging on Lilac, that annoyingly calm smirk still plastered on his face. “Lilac won’t save you if you’re not focused. She’s quick, but that means nothing if you don’t know how to use it. Don’t let the speed fool you.”

Jisoo only shrugged, unconcerned, but Jeonghan’s eyes didn’t waver. There was no room for weakness in his training. No room for doubt.

Seungkwan was bouncing on Spice, already giving his dragon a pep talk. Jeonghan could practically see the energy leaking off of him, but the glint of excitement in his eyes was soon met with a sharp stare from Jeonghan.

“Spice won’t work on adrenaline alone, Seungkwan,” he said, voice dangerously calm. “Focus. If she pulls a stunt like last time, I will make you clean up the mess.”

Seungkwan gulped, nodding quickly.

“Hansol,” Jeonghan said, his voice now smooth and sharp like a blade. “Echo’s agility is impressive, but you’ll have to focus on precision. Don’t make me remind you again that every move matters. It’s not about showing off; it’s about control.”

Hansol simply nodded, his usually carefree demeanor now serious as he adjusted his grip on Echo’s reins.

“Focus, people,” Jeonghan barked, his voice suddenly harder, pulling everyone’s attention. “This isn’t about flying for fun. Today, you’re going to prove that your dragons can fight as well as they can fly. It’s about precision, control, and—”

He stopped then, his gaze flicking over the group before it landed on you.

His eyes softened, but only slightly, and for a moment, everything else faded. The sharpness in his gaze turned into something more… intimate. But Jeonghan wasn’t the type to let his guard down—certainly not in front of everyone. He just gave you that look, the one that was as loaded with meaning as a cannon.

“And you,” he said, stepping toward you, voice suddenly quieter, like he was speaking just to you and no one else. “You better not slack off just because you think you can handle anything.”

You met his gaze, leaning forward slightly. “I don’t need any special treatment, Jeonghan. Just show me what I’m up against.”

Jeonghan chuckled, the sound rich and teasing, before turning his back to the rest of the group. “Alright, everyone—start flying. Show me what you’ve got. We’ll see if your dragons are ready for the real test.”

The group mounted their dragons, and in an instant, the sky erupted into movement—Seungcheol and Gravel charging ahead, Seungkwan chasing after Spice, who had already darted into the clouds, Jisoo floating lazily on Lilac’s back, and Hansol, practically invisible on Echo, slipping between the trees.

Jeonghan stayed grounded, his eyes never leaving you. “Let’s see what you can do,” he said, his voice softer, almost intimate, as he stepped closer to you. “Prove to me you can handle this.”

With that, you mounted your dragon, taking off in a smooth arc into the sky. Jeonghan followed shortly after, his Night Fury gliding with him, cutting through the clouds with ease. You surged ahead, diving, weaving through the training obstacles that littered the area below. You and your dragon were perfectly in sync, and Jeonghan couldn’t help but admire the way you maneuvered.

The training was intense. You could hear the faint sounds of Seungkwan’s exaggerated cursing as Spice nearly flung him into a tree, the frantic grunts from Seungcheol as he struggled to keep up with Gravel, and the odd quiet hums from Jisoo and Hansol, who were already in their element.

But you? You were focused, calm, and above it all, powerful. The way you guided your dragon through the course was effortless, natural. Jeonghan smirked as he watched you, his usual cocky attitude slipping into something a little more impressed.

As you completed the last obstacle, you shot a glance back at him, eyes glinting with challenge. “Was that good enough for you, Chief?”

Jeonghan didn’t answer immediately, instead letting Luma dive under you with a sudden burst of speed, cutting the air with a roar. The wind whipped violently around you both, and in that moment, you felt the thrill of being so high above Berk, surrounded by the storm of chaos and control that Jeonghan radiated.

Finally, Jeonghan’s voice cut through the wind. “You did well.” He smirked. “But not perfectly.”

You rolled your eyes, but there was something in his gaze that made the teasing feel affectionate. “Oh? Is that how you’re going to play it, Jeonghan?” you shot back, but there was a sly grin tugging at your lips.

He chuckled. “Only because you know you can do better.” He shot you a wink, his tone dripping with flirtation. “But then again, who could resist giving my favorite a little extra attention?”

You could feel your heart race, but you held your ground, hovering above the clouds. “I told you, you can’t only treat me differently. You’ll get a reputation.”

Jeonghan leaned back on Luma, his smirk never fading. “But you are my favorite, love. Can’t help it if everyone else is just… secondary.”

“Jeonghan, that’s—” you started, but he was already shifting, his voice lowering as he leaned in closer.

“I know,” he murmured. “But you’re the only one who matters.”

[coquettecouture]

Achieving the iconic 2015 look as a 2025 girl!

Have you ever told yourself you were born into the wrong generation? Maybe it’s the nostalgia of listening to One Direction on your iPhone 5, or maybe you’re older and can enjoy it more now. Whatever the case may be, if you’re reading this you also miss the good energy of the 2013-2016s. And if that is the case, this is the post for you! Achieving a real and authentic 2015 inspired year is nowhere near as unobtainable as it might seem. From youtube, to fashion inspo let this post be your guide to unleashing your inner icon!

Fashion Inspiration!

King kylie, Bella Hadid, Ariana Grande and Sky Ferreria! All iconic and well known fashion icons. Whether you're a Pinterest 2014 girl or a Tumblr 2015 one, you at least are familiar with one. Luckily a huge part of the era's fashion is it's simplicity. Depending on the sub-style you're going for, your inspiration can range anywhere from shabby chic to grunge!

Regardless of color, most of the essentials remain the same. Skater girl skirts? Make it pink or black, and it works no matter the aesthetic! Though for some things, such as the coquette shabby chic, try things like floral wedges and flowy dresses! And for grunge, try flannels, black skinny jeans and converse! Fashion is all about what works for you, which is why it's important to find your style before anything else. Fashion inspo is just as unique as you are!

Movies and Books!

Of course, to really embrace the energy of a 2015 icon, you have to surround yourself with it! Staple movies like, The Fault in our stars and Paper towns are a way one ticket to nostalgia. Other movies such as Divergent, The Hunger Games, The Great Gatsby and If I Stay are perfect additions to your 2015 movie nights! My personal favorite movies of the time are All the bright places, Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List and LOL. The early 2010's were the best movie era in my opinion and this filmography list proves it!

The books however, are an entirely more diverse subject. While most 2010's movies are either mostly dystopian or romance, the books are a whole different ballpark. From horror to romcom to sci-fi, there's a fit for everyone! The most popular choices are of course John Green and your typical dystopian series; however, I raise a much larger choice of selections. In terms of sci-fi with a mix of romance the Caster Chronicles series (Beautiful Creatures) is a phenomenal series and an even better movie. If horror is more your speed, Natasha Preston's The Cellar and Welcome to the Dark House by Parker Bradley are definitely CoCo approved! Finally for the love nuts, aka me, To All the Boys I've Loved Before is a classic and obvious choice, but I would be a fraud to not include it!

Music Music Music!

One beautiful thing about the 2010's is it's consistency in music that makes you feel! For most people, that feeling is sadness LOL. However, there is poetry in that writing which makes the inner ache of somber all worth it for the bliss of melody. Artists like The 1975, Marina, Lana Del Rey and Lorde are all versatile and perfect artists to get you right back in that nostalgic state!

Whether you're looking for a more girlish vibe or a darker energy, the 2010's are a great time for whatever musical desires you have! I will leave my link to my 2014 playlist right here! Whether you use it for yourself or inspiration is up to you! Please let me know in the comments if you end up liking it, or link your own playlists!!!

Room Decor!

The quickest way to achieve a realistic 2015 inspired room is to go onto Pinterest and find your niche! For some super personal ideas on how to make your room aesthetically you, check out some old DIY YouTube videos. They range from various aesthetics, and you can personalize them anyway you please! My favorite youtubers to watch are MyLifeAsEva, LaurDIY, Alisha Marie and of course my queen of DIY Bethany Mota.

For the overall aesthetic, if you’re one of the grungier girls, opt for posters like The 1975 or The Neighborhood. Things like black throw pillows or printed out photos of you and your friends are perfect for achieving your look. Cutting out clippings from magazines and making collages is also a fun and free way to personalize your room!

Now if you’re like me and you’re more of a pink girl, try floral sheets like tulips or daisies! Fur throw pillows and double sided sequin pillows are a good touch for your bed too. Posters like Lana Del Rey and Ariana Grande are more 2015-esque touches, along with string lights and polaroids!

No matter the aesthetic, what’s really important is personalization! You don’t want your room to be the same as everyone else’s, it should be unique and showcase who you are!

In Conclusion..

Whether you’re a Tumblr grunge or a Pinterest shabby chic, I hope this guide helps you in any way it can! The most important thing about truly making this year your dream aesthetic is all in your experience. 2025 is what you make it! Whether it’s staying at home all day reading TFIOS, or if it’s going out and taking polaroids on the beach. Any year can be any aesthetic you want, as long as you hope it so. Even small things like hanging out with friends or watching nostalgic YouTube videos can make your year what you want it to be!

Thank you so much for reading, and for all of the support I have gotten! I truly haven’t been posting for long, but I have already made friends and gotten so much love and I want to thank you all so very much for it! If there’s anything you’re interesting in me reading, or want a more in depth explanation for, please let me know in the comments! I love you divas, stay cutesy!

[rafeandonlyrafe]

savior

words: 1.1k

warnings: sexual assault (by strangers), attempted r/pe, mentions of a gun

taglist: @drewstarkeysbae @thelomlisrafecameron @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @winterrrnight @slut4drudy @drewsbabygirll @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450

you walk nervously down the street, clutching your bag tightly to your body. it wasn’t your intention to be out after dark, in fact, you were trying very hard to avoid it, but your study session ran long and the sun had set behind the buildings. 

you think about calling rafe, you know hearing your boyfriends voice would help calm you down, but you don’t want to bother him too much, especially considering you’ve only been away from him for a couple hours. you decide against it, knowing you need to fully concentrate on the street around you as you head back to your car, cursing the fact that the busy streets that forced you to park so far away from the library are now completely devoid of people. 

you press yourself closer to the brick wall of a building when you see a group of three men on the opposite side of the street, hoping you can be quick and silent enough to slip by without their notice.

“hey, pretty lady!” one of the men shouts out, voice slurred and clearly very inebriated. you hope for a foolish moment that the one shouting was the only drunk one, and that his friends would control him, but when they move across the street towards you, you know you’re in trouble.

“please, just leave me alone.” you whimper, pressing your back flat against the wall.

“you?” the man questions. “you’re far too sexy to be left alone.” one of the man grins, stepping right up into your personal space.

“here, i have money.” you begin to search through your bag for your wallet, cursing the big textbooks making it hard to find anything.

“we don’t want your money, cutie.” the only man who hasn’t spoken yet pipes up. 

“please.” your bottom lip quivers. “please, i just want to go home.” you try to hold back the thick tears that are threatening to spill.

“i don’t think so.” the man grabs your breast suddenly, making you scream, hoping someone, anyone is around to help you. you squirm as they tug at your shirt, trying to move away but the other two men grab your arm.

“get off me! get off me!” you shout, squeezing your eyes shut as the main attacker rips your shirt open, exposing your bra.

“shut the fuck up!” one of the men yells in your face. you cringe when you feel his spittle against your cheek.

tire squeals make your eyes pop open, looking down the street as a car races in your direction. the men notice too, looking away from you as the truck speeds up, squealing to a stop right in front of the sidewalk.

“get the fuck away from her!” a familiar voice yells, and you let out a sigh of relief at your savior. 

“fuck, he’s got a gun! run!” the mans hands let go of you, and you drop to the ground, crumpling against the brick wall. you whimper softly as you hear their footsteps pound down the pavement.

“baby, fuck, are you alright?” you feel rafes hands on your shoulders, trying to angle you to look up at him. you launch yourself forward, sobbing into his chest. rafe wraps his arms tightly around you, sitting down and letting you crawl into his lap, rocking you gently as you let out all your tears.

“baby…” rafe says softly once you’ve calmed down a little. you look up at him, face wet with tears. he presses your lips together, thankful to have you safe.

“how-” you sniffle. “how did you find me?” you ask. rafe chuckles lightly, pulling his phone out, showing you the find my iphone he has pulled up. “i got nervous when it got dark, so i came to get you.” rafe explains, tucking your hair behind your ear.

“thank you.” you say, wrapping your arms around his torso and resting your head against his body.

“i’m sorry i wasn’t here sooner honey.” he rubs your back. “they never should have touched you.” “it’s okay, you saved me.” you say. rafe frowns, looking at your tugged open shirt. “you saved me from the worst of it.” you say.

“let me get you home.” rafe says, standing up with you still in his arms. he takes you right to his truck, setting you in the passenger seat. he frowns at your exposed body, tugging his sweatshirt off for you to put on. 

he makes sure you buckle up before closing the door, running to grab your bag before heading around to the drivers side. 

“my car…” you mumble as rafe takes off.

“we can get it in the morning. besides, you won’t be needing it, i’ll drive you wherever you need from now on.” rafe’s hands are tight on the steering wheel, “you never should have been out by your own anyways.”

you frown, knowing rafe is blaming himself right now. “hey,” you say softly, reaching across and placing your hand on his bicep. “it’s not your fault.”

“i should have been a better boyfriend.” rafe grunts, shrugging your hand off.

“stop, rafey.” you say. “it’s making me feel worse that you’re blaming yourself.” you tell him honestly. rafe pulls to a stop at a stop sign, taking the deserted roads as an opportunity to lean across the center console, kissing you gently. “i’m sorry princess, i just want to keep you safe.” “i know baby.” you grin, giving him a peck on the lips. “that’s why you got to me when you did.”

rafe nods, giving you another kiss before turning his attention back to the road. you don’t mean to, but you’re asleep by the time you get home. rafe smiles gently at you, closing his door as quietly as he can before walking around to your side, unbuckling you and picking you up.

you wake while he’s carrying you inside to your bedroom, wrapping your arms around his shoulders to make it easier for him to carry you. 

“let me get you changed into pajamas.” rafe says, setting you down on your shared bed. 

you nod, letting him take his own sweatshirt off your. he frowns again when seeing your ripped shirt. “i’ll buy you 100 new ones.” rafe says. you just nod, knowing it would make him feel better.

he takes the ripped shirt gently off your shoulders, before removing your bra. he rushes quickly to your pajama drawer as you let out a yawn. he redresses you in your pajama shirt, but you stand up and change your own bottoms while he changes himself. 

“come on baby.” rafe says, sliding under the covers. you lay down against him, letting him press his chest into your back. rafe places a hand against your stomach, slipping it under your shirt to feel your skin.

you feel rafe shake gently behind you, pressing his lips against your neck. “it’s okay.” you tell him, putting your hand over his. “i’m here, rafe.” he squeezes you impossibly closer to his body. “i’m safe.”

[g1rldrool]

MODERN!ELLIE HCS

warnings: none! bit of cursing:)

word count: 0.6k

notes: hai guys:3 here's some ellie hc's! kinda proofread !!

-used an iphone 6 till it completely died and then she couldn't decide what phone to get because she didn't want to get a "fancy" one. you had to drag her to Mediaworld because she was basically refusing even though she hadn't used a phone in almost a week😭 (she'd been having to use your phone)

-has about a thousand hoodies and wears three of them, she buys them everytime she goes to the mall but then she uses the ones she bought when she was a teen. she doesn't even notice if you're wearing one of her hoodies because she didn't even know she had it

-she has a clear phone case and the only thing in it is a polaroid of you guys on your first date:') she hasn't changed it since that day

-still wears the same converse she's had for god knows how long, and when you asked her if she wants a new pair for her birthday she looked at you with the nastiest side eye ever. she couldn't even think about changing the pair

-has a private Instagram where only friends follow because she's scared of other people commenting on her post, like what if they say something mean? or what if they flirt with her? so she keeps it private and post a story maybe once a month

-even through she's not on Instagram that much she is always on tiktok, like you'll wake up at four in the morning for some water, turn over and her phone is inches away from her face the screen lighting up her face.

'ellie go to bed!' you mumbled as you got up and rubbed your eyes

'babe look at this borzoi' she tapped your arm and you rolled your eyes

-expending on her interest with borzois, after they become a meme she's just completely obsessed over them, if you're out with her and you see one you bet she's running up to it and awkwardly asking if she could pet it and then pets and plays with it for 5 straight minutes making you stand by her apologizing to the owner for her taking so long

-popeyes lover !!!! if you don't know what to have for dinner she'll order pop eyes (without) your permission, and suddenly the bell will ring and she's speeding down the stairs and running back up with a huge bag and the cutest smile on her face

-okay so if u have a fyp like mine then you know about mulch, so I think her fyp is full of mulch and lobotomy videos, and sometimes while your having a nice moment she'll say

'ugh I am so full of joy and sandy loam'

you'll look at her with the most judgemental look ever and lightly punch her shoulder

-loves I mean LOVES dried apples, will munch on them for hours !! she sneaks them into movie theaters and basically annoys everyone in the room because she's so fucking loud. also loves dr.pepper ! if you'd give her a bag of dried apples and a can of dr.pepper she'd be the happiest girl on earth

-can't cook for shit, like it's actually scary, somehow she'll burn everything she puts on the stove or in the over, she either puts the heat too high or just forgets she has something cooking at all. but will put the most amount of effort in a date night dinner !

-sometimes if you're lucky she'll get sappy and serious, like you'll lay down on her and fall asleep and she'll whisper something like 'I'm gonna marry you one day' then she realized what she said and cringed at herself

[whokilledjared]

the sluttiest thing a man can do is be himself. (& takes on social media)

Hi.

I'm lonely.

The moment I got "two weeks off school" in sophomore year, life went to 4x speed & I can't turn it off no matter how hard I try.

Maybe COVID-19 adolescence did numbers on me. Somewhere between the iPhone 5c and ChatGPT, 14-hour screen times have live-streamed to me a steady, homogenous death of culture.

Nothing is cool anymore. Nothing is sacred. Every movement is a trend, and every cult classic a sequel.

The value we place on things being beautiful, on being "cool," and our gatekept appreciation of how hard these things were to find: it's been co-opted, or perhaps stolen. It's been stolen by the new merchant class. "Disruptors" and "innovators" turning our lives into a burgeoning black mirror prequel. Soon, we'll graduate too, and we'll wring every morsel of value in each others' lives dry for cash.

Plain and simple, I think we're being manipulated.

Your dates are an algorithm. Your music is a social signal. And Zuck knows when you sleep.*

God. What the fuck are we doing???

“Individuation is becoming the thing which is not the ego, and that is very strange.” — Carl Jung

Recently, I deleted Instagram. My first impulse was to post a story or something, announcing my departure. But then, I thought that would be lame.

I got rid of my account, too. Kinda. Over 1 year, over 800 followers removed, and what remains of me is a little grey icon, and "JM_0000000010" where my name and face used to be.

yay.

There were many people I wish I could have been friends with, but I wonder, too, why I find myself so drawn to the validation of others. Does social media affect me worse, or do we all just choose to ignore it, languishing in private?

At any rate, this last year has almost felt like re-learning how to be a human being.

Personally, I think one of the biggest markers for maturity is when you become willing to disappoint the people you know in favor of what feels right to you, when you start to unravel the stories you’ve told yourself (or been told) about who you are and what you should be. In short, the sluttiest thing a man can do is be himself.

And sometimes, I think about every college student that has ever lived. My grandmother, my dad, and so on. Just consider for a moment all kids who graduated before 2010:

What was it like for the ones in 1940? To walk around, before a campus had computers? In 2006: To meet someone pretty, but forget their number? In 1999: To cram into dorms, and watch Seinfeld live on-air?

Would I, like my dad in 1988, have braved cold night, brisk wind, & landline phone-call just to knock and see if my friends were too busy to hang?

What stories could I tell if there was even the slightest chance of getting lost on the way home from a party?

Humans are social creatures. We crave our friends like water. To me, the clearest difference between Dasani and Instagram is that one of them comes in a bottle.

Yet despite these distractions and comforts we have in 2024, somehow, we still have engineering students. People who carve out time in their day to sit down, look at paper, and solve differential equations. But then, that's not so hard, is it? It just takes time. Precious, fucking, time.

At Meta, leagues and leagues of these engineers power behavioral scientists, who are competing for the highest salary. Their benchmarks? Your FOMO. Guilt. Anxiety. Obsession. The worse you feel, the more you engage with their content. The more you engage with their content, well, you're starting to get the point.

Try something for me: Open up Instagram, but don't tap anything. What happens? How many little animations? How many tiny nudges prompting you to get lost? Our home-pages are billion-dollar diving boards, hoisting us over engineered catacombs of subconscious quicksand.

My homepage is my FOMO, my envy, and my crushes. The pain and struggle of trying to be someone who I am not. My little existential crises, bundled-up, packaged, and shipped with a like button.

To abandon your social networks entirely, however, requires a safety net of close friends. After all, your friends are online, and you'd be miserable without them.

This is the problem with our monkey brains. Millennia of sociological natural-selection have made us quite great at feeling terrible. We're damn good at making tribal status games to play with, too.

Seeking refuge in quirked up septum piercings and boygenius listeners, my time in counter-cultural, alternative "scenes" between St. Louis and Tampa has shown me that even the weirdest of folks and the most removed can accidentally find themselves reduced to nothing more than high-school popularity contests. Even if I love them. Even if they're amazing people. We're human.

We can't "quit social media" as much as we can't "quit bottled water" Sure, we can, but it's inconvenient. And even without a bottle, we're still drinking water.

So I lost touch with my friends. I got no new updates on their lives. I forced myself into the inconvenience of not having a phone to reach for in fleeting moments of boredom. Suddenly, I was out of the loop. Suddenly, I was bored. And suddenly, nobody missed me. My only friends were the ones I had the time to text. Everyone else ... does not exist.

Weekends have become more valuable than ever. Without the empty social calories of seeing my friends' pictures, I find myself planning hangouts as often as my schedule allows. I have more lunches, more study sessions, and more is done in the company of less.

And I have the time to breathe.

And in this calm, I think I found my answer: it's my misplaced ambition. These fears of anxiety and people I thought I would miss, they seem represent something I want to see more of within myself. Something I want to develop, lean into more deeply, as an individual. And I think that's quite normal; to look out into the world and feel attracted to things we want to see more of. This is, I think, how everyone develops their own definition of beauty — and of coolness. It's largely the intersection of what we find most interesting, and what we want to see more of in the world. Because beauty and coolness, by definition, are rare and hard to find. If they were everywhere, nothing be beautiful, nor would anything be cool.

When we all turn into wrinkles and cataracts, bad backs and heart attacks, for a brief, glorious moment, our lives are going to flash before our eyes. In this moment, you'll see your story. The ultimate progression of you.

How much of that will be skibidi toilet and reaction clips? How much of that will be arguing on the internet? Can you tell me, just how much of your life will you have skipped over to pacify your intentionally-lowered attention span?

That girl whose number you couldn't find Those passing questions over coffee that you couldn't search on Google The boredom of a subway ride

Those are not inconveniences, they're what the older generations refer to as "life."

* (oh, but if you can't sleep, consider this aside: Google knows the angle you walk at, how fast you're walking, and they've got crowdsourced pictures of everywhere around you at all times of the day. fun bedtime thoughts <3)

[joshslater]

Cat

This is my take on a TF request by octuscle. Similar stories and bonus material on my Patreon.

I guess it's kind of like what magicians feel like. Sure, you can train all you like in your bedroom, and you can do it in front of your mates, but when you do it for real, for a real audience you get the same jitters before the trick and a certain rush after it. No one noticed how I did the misdirection, how I lifted the phone and stashed it in my pocket in a smooth motion that started well before and ended well after those two events, making it seem completely unrelated and hiding the true intent. I was well out of their sight long before they realized they'd been pickpocketed.

I should have just held the power button to shut it down, make it untraceable until the nerds can open it up, make it lose its mind, and become resellable. Not as a luxury phone as it once was perhaps, but good enough for someone short on cash who was willing to not think too hard about where they got their goods. I should have, but it was like a reflex to press the unlock button once I fished up the phone from my pocket, safe some blocks away. "Chronivac Anti-theft Technology" flashed on the screen and a timer counted down from 10. "Enter pin to deactivate." I frantically pressed and held the power button in various combinations with no effect. Would the phone report its position? I could just leave. Would it make a noise? Wouldn’t matter here, and again, I could just leave.

It did make a short, high-pitched screeching sound and it kind of twisted in my hand. Not like the vibrator went off. More like a static shock, but not quite that either. The sound when it landed on the ground surprised me. A dull rattle and not the normal crisp sound of an iPhone maybe shattering on the stones. Even more surprising was the yellow rubber case with the black Caterpillar CAT logo on the ground. Confused I picked it up and turned it over to find a feature phone in the case, with physical keyboard and all, and on the screen words were scrolling by faster than I could read. I managed some words like "dumber", "stronger", and "stoner". As I stared at the words "manual laborer" I had a nagging feeling I should know what it meant, and that perhaps it wasn't the scrolling speed by the reading speed that was the problem.

The screen said "Wipe complete. All data secured." and turned black.

I tried to remember why I was standing in an empty back alley, but couldn't come up with a good reason. I adjusted my wifebeater inside my dungarees. Dungarees are great because you can play with your balls whenever, but the top isn't really held in place, so it can show you go commando if you aren't careful. I might as well smoke a joint while I figure out where I should be.

[todorokies]

midnight love affair - suguru geto

contents: nsfw, established relationship, fem!reader, reader is lowkey a smart mouthed bimbo, would this classify as crack ???, modern au where suguru isn’t depressed as shit

a/n: idk what this is i just need geto tbhh … inspired by the song midnight love affair by October London

“do you think touchscreen tvs will be a thing in the future?”

head woozy and heavy filled with nothing but the intoxicating sensation of your wet folds gracefully gliding up and down his painfully hard cock with your pussy occasionally clenching around him leaving a white ring imprint of your creamy residue. your raven haired boyfriend tried to make sense of the current predicament at hand as you stilled yourself on top of his lap, fully seated, letting his cockhead rest snug up against that spongy spot that always makes you dizzy.

his eyes held a look of pure dumbfounded confusion with sweat cumulating at the beginning of his hairline, lips extremely chapped and mouth agape he truly couldn’t believe what he’s hearing right now. (mostly due to the faint ringing of his ears as the pleasure was too much that he began to hear colours.)

you already fucked him dumb and he hasn’t even cummed yet.

with his leftover strength he was finally able to piece something together to counterpart your bizarre question. “huh?” was all he was able to conjure. you wrap your arms around his neck, “what do you mean “huh” did i already fuck your brains out? did you not hear what i said?”

oh now you’re getting sassy. he quickly licks his lips then elaborates. “i did hear you, i’m just confused where this is coming from all of the sudden.”

you simply shrug “it’s just a simple thought that came to me… consider it a shower thought if you will.” suguru gives you a look of uncertainty but doesn’t question any farther, instead, he indulges you.

“well the concept of a touchscreen tv is inconvenient, nobody wants to get up from the couch every time to change the channel.”

“i had a feeling you would say that!” you dramatically flail your arms in the air, “inconvenient or not you can’t deny the speed of the way technology is enhancing everyday; sooner or later somebody is gonna invent it.”

you had a point. “you’re right but would anyone willingly buy it? it just seems impractical to have in a home doesn’t it?”

“you’re not looking at bigger picture here; every year people complain about the amount of camera lenses apple adds to the latest iphone but yet they still go out of their way to buy it for a ridiculous price and you wanna know why this happens..?”

he quirks an eyebrow up signalling for you to continue suddenly intrigued to hear your conclusion.

“because consumers, especially tech nerds, love getting their hands on the newest inventions. it doesn’t matter how impractical it is, just knowing they possess something so expensive and high tech gives them this sort of euphoric high.”

“huh, i guess that reasoning never crossed my mind…you should definitely donate your brain to science.” a low dry chuckle passes from his lips and a frown tugs upon yours as you lift your hips to glide all the way up to the tip of his cock then slam yourself down earning a desperate throaty groan from the man below you.

“keep laughing and you won’t be cumming tonight.”

and at that all suguru could do is fondly smile to himself. you keep him on his toes everyday; always unpredictable with your actions and words. never in a million years could suguru see himself stopping sex midway to have an out-of-the-blue conversation about touchscreen television. this was one of your many quirks that made him gravitate towards you and crave for your spontaneous persona to find it’s way into his life.

“whatever you say goes my love, now can we please go back to fucking?”

reblogs & feedback is extremely appreciated !! <3

[gallusrostromegalus]

Who in the Gotei 13 abuses emojis and how

The Groupchat Crimes of the Gotei-13:

Yamamoto: responds everything with an inscrutable "😎 👍". Announcing your engagement? 😎 👍 Telling him there is a scheduling conflict? 😎 👍 The seireitei is being invaded? 😎 👍 Tonkatasu Tuesday at 6:30 tonight? 😎 👍

Sasakibe: Endlessly persnickety about grammar. Despite having the fact that grammar is fluid and changes with context and what many of the new conventions mean explained to him, a total lack of punctuation to create an informal tone will make him literally foam at the mouth like a rabid boar.

Soi Fon: refuses to relegate fun facts about hornets to the #bugs channel, including unspoilered images of what assorted stings will do to human flesh.

Yoruichi: nudes in the SFW channels

Rose: 🌹❤️🌹 brackets his messages with emoji chains like quotation marks 🌹❤️🌹

Kira: vent posting/generally being a miserable little shit in the general channel

Retsu: consistently forgets to spoiler medical gore, keeps sharing medical "Fun" facts that give people nightmares.

Isane: "Hey guys, I need some advice on how to deal with *insane situation literally nobody that ever experienced before*"

Hanataro: unironically posting scorpions and venomous snakes to the cute animals channel

Shinji: ti xif ton lliw/tonnac dna segassem sih lla desrever wohemoS

Momo: crying for real about how cute the animals in the cute animals chat are

Hiyori: destroying things in rage about how cute the animals in the cute animals chat are.

Byakuya: Signs all his messages, as this is is official Gotei-13 correspondence. -from the desk of Captain Kuchiki Byakuya

Renji: no caps no punctuation no worries

Komamura: spent three *months* pretending to be friends with a pair of rural veterinarians and getting people emotionally involved in the saga of them trying to cure a mystery chicken affliction before finally ending his shaggy dog story with an ATROCIOUS pun.

Iba: unappealing thirst traps.

Shunsui: keeps falling for and linking obviously false clickbait articles.

Nanao: digging up literally decades-old drama

Tousen: setting his text color to match the background color to fuck with people.

Shuuhei: normal messages sent from bizarre locations "-sent from the secret downstairs microwave" "-sent from the captain general's iPhone" "-sent from Massachusetts"

Matsumoto: 💕 Putting ❤️ emoji 💋 between ❤️ every 😘 word ❤️ for 💋 the ❤️ aesthetic 💕

Hitsugaya: 2AM post @ing everyone of a single inscrutable emoji such as "🦆". Claims to have no memory of making this

Kenpachi: ALL CAPS LOCK ALL THE TIME NO PUNCTUATION ALSO FIGURED OUT HOW TO MAKE THE YELLING BUTTON LOUDER

Ikkaku: figured out how to use image-editing software specifically to make bespoke image macros at astonishing speed so he always has a meme on hand, including the infamous Zaraki Caused Another Bisexual Awakening Counter aka "GOT ANOTHER ONE LADS!!" meme.

Yumichika: ✨ 🦚 ✨ Worst 💙 possible 🪩 combination 💙 of 🪩 Rose 💙 and 🪩 Matsumoto 💙 quirks ✨🦚✨

Yachiru: Pink Text

Mayuri: immediately silenced all notifications from the Groupchat, forgot it exists

Nemu: Tracks Groupchat statistics and presentation them quarterly like a thesis defense and/or stockholders meeting.

Urahara: keeps finding obviously false clickbait articles to send to Shunsui

Ukitake: you can directly track how much Percocet he's on by how colorful, emoji 🤣 filled and ✨ WhImSiClE 🐟 🐟 hIs 💻 TeXtInG 💻 sTyLe 🐟 🐟 GeTS ✨

Rukia: signs her texts like Byakuya, but "-sent from Lieutenant Rukia 🐰 Kuchiki "

Harmless, until somehow her medical records appear under "Rukia Usagi Kuchiki" like she has a middle name.

[itsdoobly]

I randomly started thinking about wall-e the other day, and I don't know why, but that movie is hitting me way different now.

It used to be my favorite movie ever, but it does have problems. I don't like the way it seems to frame the consumers as being just as if not more responsible for the destruction caused by companies that control the world. And there's undeniably an undercurrent of fatphobia.

But this time, as I rewatched key scenes from the movie, this one little moment stuck out to me:

The captain, after being given the plant, waters it and says, "You just needed someone to look after you..." before a change comes over his face as he says, "we have to go back." It almost made me cry.

I can't think of another time I've seen truly mainstream media imply earth might actually need us there, caring for it. This is a movie where we fully killed the entire world and they still believed not just that we could coexist with nature, but that maybe we're supposed to be part of it.

This is also a movie filled with technological wonders. Robots and starships designed by the man who designed the IPhone! Sound effects made by the sound artist from Star Wars! When the Axiom finally returns to earth, it's so massive it makes an entire city look small.

Humanity built undeniably amazing things. Their starships surpassed the speed of light, could sustain a near utopian lifestyle, and could keep functioning for 700 years! Yet the cost of building these wonders was, well, everything. We lost our world, our agency, our humanity in a way. The humans of Wall-e are kind of living in the ruins of their own civilization; only the ruins haven't fallen apart yet.

Apparently in the lore, BnL got so big they were kind of forced to become socislist. Kind of. The company needed to ensure people had money to spend on their products, so they guaranteed everyone's needs were met. It's kind of the imaginary idealized best case scenario for capitalism. Technology advances to the point that humans don't need to be workers anymore. Robots do all the work, and humans get to live in utopia. Only even in that best case scenario, the endless need for economic growth still kills the world.

Humanity flees into space, leaving some behind to save the planet, but under corporate style leadership, they all give up within a few years. They decide to stay in space forever. Because, and I quote, "it'll be easier."

Meanwhile, the robot workers in this movie are fully people. Only people that cannot break any rules. The word Robot literally means slave. (More specifically forced servitude. Its a Czech word.)

Having a world run by computers, run on rules that can't ever be broken, is the current dream of many of our leaders. This is what crypto and the metaverse truly promised. But the result is a world where it is fully impossible to learn from our mistakes.

Auto is only the villain because he literally can't defy orders! He was told to stay in space, and the ceo never added any conditions to that. So even knowing that earth is habitable changes nothing. Orders are orders.

And it's not just the big wheel, literally everyone on that ship is running on autopilot. The hoverchairs, designed to be an accessibility feature, have now become the opposite. Instead of giving people with mobility issues more freedom, they've taken away the freedom of everyone. To me, it implies a deliberate choice made by Auto. Condition everyone to mindlessly consume, follow the same routes and same routines. Think about nothing, worry about nothing, and let the ship run itself forever. It's the exact attitude that led BnL to destroy the earth. It shows how a system this far-reaching can use truly anything in pursuit of its goals. Even an accessibility feature became another way to keep everyone easy to control.

And then, dropped into all of that, is Wall-E himself! Out of all the robots in the movie, Wall-E is the one who is most free. He still does his job, follows his directive, but he is a person outside of his work. He collects things, watches old movies, takes care of the one animal he can find. None of these were things he was programmed to do. These are the products of his curiosity, compassion, his humanity.

This humanity causes him to immediately fall for Eve, being literally the only other person he's met in hundreds of years, and eventually brings him all the way to the Axiom. There, his humanity spreads like a virus. Every friend he makes, every disturbance he causes contaminates the sterile ship just as surely as the dirt he brought on with him.

This dirt, and the plant that grows in it, and the robot who discovered it, corrupt the vast eternal machine until even Auto is tearing the ship apart in a desperate effort to keep things under control.

The captain, learning from the robots and computers on his ship how to be human again, how to care about things again, chooses to take the infinitely harder path. I love, so much, that no one regrets it. Even as they stare out at the still-desolate remains of earth. They're fine with the fact that it won't be easy. They know this will be a challenge, and they're excited by it!

On earth, a species evolved that grew so powerful that it breached the bounds of the world that created it. Only in doing so it left that world a dead husk. As the movie ends, we see possibly the last living humans, shadows of what they once were, looking not unlike babies, literally dwarfed by the starship their ancestors made, finally return home. They abandon this ship, their cradle, in favor of the world. The two cannot exist with each other. Weirdly similar to the ending of Moana actually, humanity returns life to the world that we destroyed. Paying back a debt. It is our responsibility to do so.

Idk, maybe it's the way the world is right now, but this might be my favorite movie again and I had to ramble about it.

Also the soundtrack is insanely good, go listen to it again (or else)

[rjzimmerman]

Excerpt from this story from Rolling Stone:

EARLIER THIS WEEK, the Copernicus Climate Change Service, a European Union-funded research group, announced that last Sunday, July 21, 2024, the daily global average temperature hit 62.76 degrees. It was the hottest day scientists have measured since 1940 — which officially makes it the hottest day ever recorded on Earth by humans. Twenty four hours later, however, Copernicus had to update its report: On Monday, the temperature climbed up to 62.87 degrees. As of now, July 22, 2024 is now the hottest day ever recorded. 

But hey, it’s only Friday. Who knows what the weekend holds? Or the rest of the summer, for that matter.

Are you shocked by news of this record-breaking heat? Does the fact that you lived through two of the hottest days on Earth that scientists have ever recorded make you think differently about the risks and consequences of living on a rapidly-warming planet? Did you pause for a moment and think about the millions of people who sweat through this without air conditioning? Did you mourn the 396 deaths from heat that are under investigation this summer in Phoenix? Did you sell your car and buy an electric bike? Were you inspired to sign up to knock on doors to help Kamala Harris defeat the climate-hoax-pushing-criminal Donald Trump? Are you getting calls from your MAGA-loving uncle in Idaho apologizing for the long lecture he gave you at Thanksgiving last year about how Earth’s temperature moves in natural cycles, or about how higher levels of CO2 in the atmosphere is good because more CO2 makes crops and trees grow better?

Probably not.

The problem is not you. The problem is that a broken heat record is just another statistic. The story of the climate crisis is written in broken records that measure levels of CO2 pollution, glacial ice melt, rising sea levels, crop failure, megafires, the spread of diseases, heat deaths, wildfire and insurance costs, and economic losses. But if shocking data and broken records could galvanize people to take action on climate, we’d all be powering our iPhones with solar power from microgrids, and millions of cows and chickens would be liberated from factory farms. We’d have cities crowded with bike lanes and a high speed rail service between Dallas and Houston. We’d laugh at climate-hoaxing politicians and debate whether it is fair and just to charge Big Oil companies with criminally negligent homicide.

[insert-apt-title-here]

Now that camp here and there is returning for s2 in about a week, I think it’s time I tell all you lovely blorbos how I was introduced to the ch&t and tma fandoms.

So, in sophomore year of high school I was in dnd club obviously and one of the players told me all about their character based on Sydney. The same person separately explained all of the tma fears to me with zero context bc I said their earrings gave bill cypher and they were like “um actually Magnus”. I’m deep in my gravity falls fandom era at this point. Also the person who told me these things was generally not kind to me but at least they gave me this.

Cut to a year later, and I finally get a new phone that can actually run the Apple podcast app (I have strict parents who originally gave me an iPhone 4 with everything restricted). At the same time, I’m deeply missing my old summer camp and had just finished rewatching gravity falls again.

I vaguely remembered this random podcast that was described as “gravity falls core” and I’m like what the hell im bored anyway and play the ch&t trailer .

I immediately fall in love, and proceed to binge listen to every episode. Over like maybe 3 days. And then I do it again. And again. All the way through junior year. On a singular day of winter break I remember tma exists and try to listen to the first episode. I hate it and go back to my ch&t brain rot but by the end of junior year I’m a little sick of it. I remember tma exists again, try really hard to get into it, and give up after slogging through the first 5 episodes on 1.5x speed.

I bring my ch&t obsession with me to a theater program I do over the summer and during show week, I have nothing to do during the performances I’m on run crew for. Instead me and my friend swap podcast recommendations and they start ch&t while I finish s1 of tma. Side note this friend has osdd and they ended up with Sydney as an alter.

After I finish the first season, I can’t get back into it and I’m bored and burnt out bc senior year. I actually leave off on basira’s first episode, yknow right when s2 gets interesting.

Fast forward, there’s a new teen librarian at my local library who just happens to have a tma sticker on her laptop and I’m like huh maybe I should try that again.

And then I binge the end of s2. Once one gets to s3 of tma, you’re a little too deep in to loose interest.

I finish s5 a few weeks before the end of senior year, binge all of protocol, and literally from starting s3 to now have not been able to shut up about tma.

Oh also I got isolated from my friend group at the same time that I was listening to s4

[kymimi]

Getting Trampled By ATEEZ

This was just a random blurb me and a friend though of and I thought to write it out for you all. Just basically a stream of thoughts. Sorry if it's not well put together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You pay for their food or drinks or both Wooyoung would be the one to notice first and immediatly take off after you after saying something loud to the others about it. Seonghwa would chase after Wooyoung and you.

Mingi would have no clue what is going on at first as he chasing after you with the others(besides Hongjoong and San), Yunho is the one who explains to Mingi what's going on. Yunho and and Mingi then start to speed up and even pass Wooyoung and Seongwha, But then there is a whoosh as someone passes by the two and its Yeosang, However you somehow manage to out run them. You think you are in the clear, but when you back you see a horrifying site…. It's Jongho still chasing you very quickly gaining speed, with his rbf. He causlly tackles you and yells somewhat polietly "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!" However you unable respond as you ended up hitting your head on the concrete causing you to get a concussion, and your consciousness starts to fade in and out before you pass out, you also have some scraps and bruises too from the tackle, a big bump growing on your head.

Meanwhile your friend is just recording everything and taking photos and Hongjoog says to your friend, "hey could you air drop that to me. To which your friend goes "I don't have an iphone anymore I can send it through Instagram though."

Hongjoong then responds "yeah that's fine" So your friend send the videos and photos to Hongjoong which he immediately posts onto his instagram account. When they suddenly hear yelling, both your friend, Hongjoong, and San look over to see Seongwha yelling at the others, especially yelling at Jongho for tackling you.

San is already on the phone for 911 which your friend overhears him saying She got tackled and is unconscious and probably has a concussion" Sirens are heard shortly after which the paramedics promptly load you into the ambulance. Seongwha, San, Hongjoong, manager, and CEO are all apologizing to your friend about what just happened.

-TIME SKIP TO THE HOSPITAL-

You gain consciousness and your friend is sittting in the hospital chair by your bed but you quickly notice the buff ass man, that is on his knees on the floor and is apologizing over and over to you when he noticed that you have woken up. The ceo then proceeds to walk in to apologize to you with Hongjoong and Seongwha behind them, (the others are in time out) to which he promptly has Seongwha drag San out, which Seongwha does but not in the way the CEO meant, he proceeds to drag San out literally, by San's shirt.

The CEO then promptly apologizes to you and hands you his buisness card and informs you that he has covered your hospital bill.

Then your friend shoves their phone practically into your face and says loudly "The video of you that Hongjoong posted is trending! You're famous!"

To which you respond with "oh my god" Hongjoong is seen beaming that he made an Atiny famous by posting the video and photos. The doctor comes in and informs you that you should be fine to go back to your hotel, but there will be required regular check ups once a week, for the rest of the month. To which you happily get up after being freed from the machines. You then quickly leave after getting dressed as your friend brought you a change of clothes.

The CEO insists on having their driver drive you and your friend back to the hotel. However before you leave you notice something… Is that your friend and Hongjoong chatting!? They already got this close just in this amount of time?! To which you promptly tease your friend about in the car on the way to the hotel,

-TIME SKIP TO NEXT DAY-

The friend ends up getting a text from Hongjoong asking how you are doing and that he would like to invite Your friend and you to dinner and to give a tour around KQ Entertainment. To which you find out about this after hearing their door slamming shut and loud ass running footsteps that are getting closer to your hotel room followed by loud ass banging on the door. When you open the door you see your friend standing there heavy breathing before they excitedly and loudly exclaim "PUT ON YOUR BEST CLOTHES HONGJOONG INVITED US TO DINNER, AND A TOUR AROUND KQ ENTERTAINMENT! NO IF ANDS OR BUTS MEET ME IN THE LOBBY IN ONE HOUR" Your friend then promptly runs off before you can respond so they can get ready. You sigh and start getting ready knowing your friend they'll drag you there if they have to.

-TIME SKIP TO DINNER- Your friend ended up sitting next to Hongjoong and you, while you ended up sitting next to your friend and Mingi. Your friend quickly ends up in a conversation with Hongjoong, however you are just sitting there awkwardly until Mingi starts a conversation with you. He first starts out by apologizing to you because of Seongwha's words to the rest of the boys earlier, and the stern look he was giving Mingi.

He apologizes to you about his actions and what happened to which you tell him it's okay bro that concussion was worth it. To which Mingi bursts out laughing. For the rest of the dinner you ended up mainly chatting with him.

When it came time for the tour you end up walking next to Mingi, and your friend ends up walking next to Hongjoong as Seongwha gives you both the tour.

At the end of the tour you see a sulking Jongho walk up to you and apologize for tackling you, causing you to be put into the hospital. You later find out that he was practically grounded from doing anything for at least a whole month for tackling you.

After the tour and the whole situation you and your friend up staying in contact with ATEEZ. Two NDAs were formed. One for you and Mingi, and the other for your friend and Hongjoong.