#how would the Sun's position change? A more visual answer to that question is an analemma

[elliethejellie]

Tainted Magic, Tainted Blood - Chapter Two

A "The Sun and Moon Show" AU x Reader

Masterlist || AO3 || Chapter One || Chapter Three

*****

The rest of the Spring Masquerade Ball went exactly as Princess Y/N expected it to. She was approached by countless maidens, all asking her endless questions about her engagement. They bombarded her with their own opinions about the marriage, begged to be invited, and even expressed their jealousy of her for getting the opportunity.

By the time Eclipse offered for them to take their leave, she was so relieved she almost hugged him on the spot. Social events could be fun when she wanted them to be, but after the day she'd had, there was nothing more she wanted to do than curl up in her bed and sleep.

Eclipse offered to walk her back to her chambers, but she politely refused. He tried to insist, but she only doubled down in assuring him that she was more than capable of handling walking to the same room she's been in her whole life. He watched her as she walked away, irritation souring any ounce of positivity he may have had left.

"Why is she so stubborn?" he asked aggressively, not really knowing if he wanted an answer from his advisor or not. Still, Solar Flare gave his opinion anyways.

"I have a theory, actually, sir. If you don't mind." Eclipse stared at him for a moment, waiting for him to continue. "I don't think this is a matter that should be discussed in the corridor, though."

And with that, the two of them headed back to Eclipse's study, Solar Flare ordering the guard at the door the same way he always did. Once the door shut, Solar made his way over to the desk that Eclipse took to sitting at. "Sir, I am led to believe that while the star may have erased the memories of the past, it didn't erase the feelings associated with those memories."

Eclipse looked up at Solar Flare, blinking in confusion. "Go on," he said, leaning backwards and pulling his leg up to rest on his knee.

"Well, originally you thought that by erasing Sun and Moon from the princess's memories, she would simply move on from how she felt. You changed the past she knew, but only through her memories. Every instance of her spending time with the twins is either erased, or manipulated to seem as though you were the one with her instead of them. Thus, you're the only one that she'd spent all of her teenage years with. But for some reason, she doesn't treat you as if that were the case.

"Tonight, when Moon showed up, she seemed to have no recollection of who he was, but they still instantaneously... clicked," he continued, bringing up his hands and interlacing his fingers to visualize his statement. "That leads me to believe that while she might not remember the past in her mind, it is her heart that still remembers everything."

Eclipse stayed in his position, rubbing his finger beneath his nose as he stayed deep in thought. Could that even be possible? He rewrote everything, he thought. Every ounce of memory that Princess Y/N had about Sun and Moon was changed so that he was the one she had fallen in love with. But even with that, he couldn't make her actively be in love with him now. It would make her indifference to him make a lot more sense, actually...

That damn blood demon, Eclipse thought angrily, now moving to stand from his chair. He had been told that the star could grant every wish imaginable. But now here he was, finding out about some stupid contingency with feelings.

"Get the room set up," he ordered Solar Flare, turning to the bookshelf behind him and pulling out the book of blood magic. He flipped through the pages until he found the one the BloodMoon had scribbled a different spell for how to summon him, now that he was blood-bound to him. Solar pushed the desk back slightly, drew the curtains, and rolled the carpet up to place at the bottom of the door to the study.

Eclipse stood in the center of the room and held the book up so he could read the spell correctly the first time, while Solar Flare stepped off to the side and out of harm's way.

"Infra peto mundum

Afferte mihi sanguinem lunam

Semina mortis insuta"

And just as he had when he summoned the demon the first time, Eclipse felt a surge of power flow through him - although it wasn't anywhere near as strong. The room was illuminated in a red glow, and then the same low, guttural laugh sounded from behind him.

"You summon us again already? Have things already gone that poorly for you, Little Eclipse?" the demon mocked. Eclipse rolled his eyes and placed a hand to his temple.

"BloodMoon," he warned, closing the book and turning to where the sound of the demon's voice came from. He didn't see the red figure anywhere though. "I'm really not in the mood for one of your stupid games."

"Little Eclipse, you wound us!" the voice said from the other side of the room now, making Eclipse spin back to face the fireplace. "We play no games when it comes to serious matters. Yeah, no games at all."

Eclipse still couldn't see the demon, even as his eyes now frantically searched every dark corner of the room. He was about to give another (more aggressive) warning when he heard Solar Flare make a strangled sound from behind him. He turned and felt his entire body go rigid as he laid eyes upon BloodMoon standing on the desk, holding one of Solar's arms above him, high enough that Solar was almost completely off of the ground. The demon's black nails were digging into Solar's arm, drawing small beads of red from where he broke skin. BloodMoon's starred eyes were watching hungrily as the blood trailed down, before it turned to look at Eclipse with a devious smile on its face.

"You gift us a full sacrifice today, Little Eclipse?" it asked, not breaking eye contact as it brought its free hand up to swipe the dripping blood from Solar's arm. It then brought its stained finger to its mouth and lapped the blood up desperately. Eclipse seemed to break from his stupor at the sight and glared at the demon, crossing his arms as Solar made another pained sound as he pleaded with his eyes for Eclipse to do something.

"No," he stated bluntly, which only made BloodMoon laugh. "I have no sacrifices for you today. You lied to me."

"Lied to you?" BloodMoon questioned, tilting its head to the side and releasing Solar Flare from its grip. Solar fell to the ground and immediately pulled his hurt arm to his chest, watching on in fear as the demon jumped down from the desk and approached Eclipse slowly. Its crazed expression and inability to stand still made BloodMoon look like a predator stalking its prey. "There are many things we do, Little Eclipse," it said. "But lying isn't one of them."

Eclipse scoffed. "Oh really? Don't play stupid with me," he pressured. "You told me that the star would grant any of my wishes, and yet that's not the case, is it?" The demon only smiled more wickedly.

"Little Eclipse, Little Eclipse," it teased, pacing around him. "Omitting details and lying are not the same thing." BloodMoon flinched at Eclipse, laughing again when Eclipse stepped back nervously. It then pointed to the red book still in his hands. "You hold the rulebook, plain and simple. Now give us blood, we want triple!"

Eclipse faltered for a moment, trying to piece together his thoughts. He lifted the book of blood magic to quickly flip through its pages, skimming for anything having to do with his current situation, while BloodMoon continued to demand a sacrifice. He reached the end of the book without so much as seeing a single thing about the star, so he rounded on BloodMoon again, his frustration with the day catching up to him.

"Enough!" he cried out, throwing the book in BloodMoon's direction. The demon dodged it easily and turned back to Eclipse with an unreadable expression. Eclipse didn't care, though. He advanced towards the demon, jabbing an angry finger into its chest. Solar made a sound of disagreement behind them, but was ignored as Eclipse spoke. "You're going to fix this for me."

BloodMoon blinked a few times, shocked by the pure audacity of Eclipse to yell at a literal demon. But then it hunched down slightly and backed away from him, looking like an animal getting ready to pounce on its prey. "You expect us to clean up your mistakes? No way, that's no fun. No fun at all," it said, hopping from foot to foot. "We want blood! Give us blood!"

Eclipse paused, an idea forming in his head. There may be a way to get himself what he wanted, and to also get the demon what it wanted... BloodMoon would get its blood, Sun and Moon would be no more, and Y/N would be forced to look at him as his savior-

He smiled, releasing the tension he had been holding between his shoulders as he wandered away to pick the book back up. He dusted it off before continuing. "You're right, BloodMoon. I promised you royal blood, and I've been holding it just out of reach this entire time," he said in a sickly sweet voice that made Solar force himself to stand, probably to interject. But BloodMoon beat him to it, pausing his bouncing to tilt his head skeptically at Eclipse.

"Right you have, Little Eclipse. We do not like being forced to wait," the demon said, narrowing its eyes. Eclipse turned and began pacing, continuing to form his plan as he spoke.

"You do like blood - that much I know." BloodMoon made a sound of approval. "But," Eclipse continued on. "I also know that you like chaos that much more. It's written in your very history." He held up the book of blood magic to emphasize his point. "What if... I allowed you to kidnap the princess?"

Solar Flare made his presence known aggressively by clearing his throat like a teacher trying to calm a rowdy classroom of disobedient children before speaking. "Sir, if I may-"

"Silence, advisor," Eclipse interrupted, glaring back at him before turning back to the demon now shaking with blood lust. Solar teetered on his feet, exhaustion from the day catching up to him as well now. He pulled out the chair from under the desk and sat down, still clutching his hurt arm as Eclipse continued.

"You kidnap the princess, but you do not touch her yet." He rounded on BloodMoon as he made his conditions clear, earning an annoyed sound from the demon. He continued his pacing, placing a finger to his chin in thought. "But worry not, you will get your blood. As I will send my dearest brothers off to 'save' her from you." A deranged smile tugs at the corners of his mouth as he visualizes Sun and Moon's final moments. "You can do with them as you please. Then I will show up, fake killing you, and she'll have no choice but to view me differently. As far as she would know, I had saved her life."

Solar Flare tilts his head down in disapproval, but watches on in silence as BloodMoon mirrors Eclipse's crazed look. "You make a dangerous game of your beloved, Little Eclipse," it warned. "But games are fun, sick and slaughter! Your princess shall be next, she is fodder!"

Eclipse dropped the book and without a moment of hesitation, rushed towards BloodMoon, pressing the demon against the nearest wall with enough force that it shook a few books off of the closest shelf. "I swear, if you so much as lay a finger on her," he threatened darkly, his expression reading that of someone who would burn the world down for Y/N. "There will be hell to pay."

BloodMoon merely laughed maniacally. "Oh Little Eclipse, what kind of demon do you take us for?" The two stood there for a while longer, a battle of trust and betrayal in their eyes as they both maintained eye contact. Finally, Eclipse backed off of BloodMoon, walking back over to the crimson-covered book and inspecting it in his hands as if he merely dropped it on a summer stroll.

"You can find her in her personal chambers if you wish to take her now," he said, keeping his back turned towards the demon. "But know that I will be watching you."

With that, BloodMoon cackled and seemingly disappeared from sight, the red glow in the study fading away until nothing but the flicker of candlelight illuminated the space. Eclipse turned and approached the bookshelf behind his desk to put the book away. Solar Flare stood, still clutching his arm. "You will not find the satisfaction you seek by killing your brothers," he said plainly, staring at the back of Eclipse's head as he froze, hand still on the book he was just sliding into place. He changed his mind and pulled the book back out, flipping through the pages determinedly before stopping on a spell page. He looked up at Solar Flare with anger in his eyes before repeating the words on the page rather quickly.

***

Y/N let out a sigh of relief and stretched her arms high above her head as she stared at the heap of her ballgown that now resided on the floor of her bedchambers. While she always enjoyed dressing up for balls and other recreational activities she had to participate in because of her status, nothing compared to the feeling of taking it all off afterwards.

She wandered to her washroom slowly, continuing to stretch her limbs along the way. A warm bath had already been drawn for her per her earlier request to her chambermaid, coating the air in the smell of lavender with soft notes of lemon. She discarded her undergarments and hurried into the bath, sighing again as she slipped into the comforting warmth of the soapy water.

The princess allowed her mind to drift through the events of the day lazily, not taking much energy to dwindle on any one subject in too much detail. She wanted so badly to unpack what Solar Flare was going on about the next time that she got the opportunity to speak to him. She had her doubts about Eclipse actually being in love with her, just as she had earlier. But now they were more set in stone.

Although she had tossed around the idea on her walk back to her personal chambers if maybe the emotion she couldn't read on his face after her magnificent dance with that stranger had been... jealousy.

She wouldn't put it past Eclipse to pull a stunt like that just so that he could put an end to something that was out of his control. But she didn't understand why he cared so much. She was already engaged to him. Did that mean she wasn't allowed to dance with any other partners at any of the social gatherings she was expected to dance at?

Y/N sighed, shifting in the tub so that only her head remained just above the bubbles and blew at some of them. They detached from the pile and floated up into the air, drifting through the space above her slowly. It felt as though everything the princess was so sure of was starting to crumble before her eyes. There wasn't anything she could do to change Eclipse - she was sure of that much at least. But she wished he would act more like how she remembered he acted when they were younger.

But how had he even acted when they were younger? The princess recalled his mention of those dance lessons he told her about earlier, but she still had no recollection of ever participating in any with him. She had no memory of even participating in any at all, despite the knowledge of how to dance being fairly evident in her mind. She felt another headache tug at the back of her head, but she was determined to try to remember anything about this event.

Y/N closed her eyes and tipped her head back into the warm water to try to ease some of the tension forming while still digging through her memories to find a single time she went to a dance lesson. Her lips parted as she began to actually pant from the strain, beginning to see stars as her head screamed for her to stop. But she caught a scent- or rather an amalgamation of smells - that brought a blur of colors to the forefront of her mind. She gasped and sat up suddenly, splashing water over the edge of her tub as she nursed the back of her head.

Yellow. And blue. She could remember a blur of the two colors - a soft yellow that swirled and danced energetically around her like a flame in the wind. She was swept away by it eagerly, and she remembers laughing. Lots of laughing. And the blue... A dark void that was swift and practiced as it engulfed her in a spiral of disciplined movements. She remembers the feelings associated with it being nothing short of positive, and as she focused on it, she swore her heart skipped a beat or two. 

But then there was nothing. She remembered the colors, the laughing, the way her heart raced, and that was it. And now she had a splitting headache. 

Y/N rubbed her temples to try to ease the pain before deciding she was done with her bath. She stood slowly and reached for one of the towels, wrapping her hair up to dry before reaching for another and drying her body. She wandered out of the washroom, thankful that she hadn't yet lit any candles as she searched her wardrobe for a nightgown. 

Why did remembering her past bring her so much pain? Was she cursed? Did other people have the same issues when they thought too deeply about something they couldn't remember?

Question after question formed in her mind as she dressed herself. Maybe she could pester Solar Flare tomorrow with her incessant curiosities - that is, if he wasn't angry at her for snapping at him earlier. Guilt, paired with the exhaustion of the day weighed down the princess's shoulders as she lit a few of her candles and then made her way to her balcony. She looked up at the moon and felt another pang of an unrecognizable emotion pulling at the back of her mind. She couldn't place why, of course, which only made sorrow begin to take residence in her heart. 

How long Y/N stayed looking at the moon dolefully was quickly forgotten as a slow laugh sounded from behind her. It clung to the shadowed corner of her room where the glow from the few candles she did light didn't reach, making her blood run cold. "Is there someone there?" she called out, inching back through the door to her balcony apprehensively. For a moment she questioned if she imagined it, grabbing one of her lit candles and approaching the darkened area of her room. She couldn't see anything out of place. 

But then her steps stilled as one red star and one white star stared at her from the inky blackness. She couldn't will her body to move, frozen in fear as the same laugh sounded from in front of her. 

"Princess, princess, scared to the bone. Staring in fear at the figure unknown," the shadow mused. Its voice both sounded as if it was taunting her and attempting to serenade her. Y/N's eyes widened as a red and black humanoid frame stepped into the light, smiling deceptively as she instinctively took a step back. "Alas, we finally meet," it continued, closing the gap between it and the princess in record time. It placed a black-clawed finger beneath the princess's chin, starred eyes taking in her appearance excitedly. "We shall have loads of fun together, pretty red."

Y/N dropped the candle she was holding and screamed.

*****

A/N: Okay, so! I am currently writing chapter six as this one goes up, and when I tell you that my writing for this story has improved greatly-

Like I came back to read this chapter and do some final edits before posting and my lordy, y'all don't even know what's coming your way hahahah

As always, likes, comments, kudos, and reposts are greatly appreciated and I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Stay sweet, my lovelies~

(Comment or message me to be added to the taglist~)

[kibbits]

I want to talk more fluff about your Break a Leg!Boys (I’m having a bad time medically and I need more positive energy before I send myself spiraling). Late night movies become an eventual habit, not only for the boys to take notes on improving their skills. There’s something magical about watching Sun and Moon experience things outside of Fazbear’s control. Of course, they can only live vicariously through the scenes, but there’s times when you can genuinely see something that wasn’t just fabricated through lines of code. Watching them plaster themselves to the screen, vibrating with pure excitement as daring battles of good and evil play out. The way Sun’s frame tenses as the hero struggles compared to Moon’s growing intrigue. Movies with less clear villains don’t entirely go over their heads though sometimes they need clarification. Some may love the questions and some may not. As they grow closer to Y/N, they may request to watch a more of their favorite films rather then the original course of kid movies. Which of course leads them to more adult musicals, you can’t tell me there wasn’t a week that Y/N didn’t regret letting Moon watch Phantom of the Opera.

Hi Anon!!! Oh man, I'm sorry you're going through it -- sending you all the good vibes and sending you soup (and hugs if you like them!) mentally! 🍲💖💖💖💖💖

(also ough your asks keep making me draw stuff so I hold onto them but also I'm juggling a lot of things rn so I don't end up having the time to draw aa --i'll just answer them now, and then come back to them if I have art to add from now on haha)

But yes!!! Yes absolutely!! Y/N is pretty much given carte blanche to rehabilitate the boys. They might play it safe with management/the boys' morals and go for kids' movies at first, but Y/N definitely starts to sneak in their favorites pretty soon! I think Sun would end up liking things like Princess Bride a lot! > : ) Yeees Phantom of the Opera for Moon!! I think both would be happy as long as the battle of good and evil is grandiose -- they do love dramatics, and when the action leaves you on the edge of your seat! gfjkld

Sun likes a good heroic monologue, and happily ever afters --though he's the one that ends up liking when things are more morally grey and make you think deeply long after the movie's over.

Moon is very happy that Villain Songs tend to slap so hard dfdjklg He's aware that villains don't usually win unless it's horror, and he doesn't mind that -- he just wants to have fun. So he likes flashy villains ehehe.

I think Sun would end up going for complex or powerful, well-told stories, and Moon would end up very interested in like. The visual aspect? (Megamind voice: Presentation!!) since he also takes care of the light rig and stuff like that, he'd incorporate strong color changes and be interested in things like how people's placement on stage, color, and lighting give the scene a different vibe.

Despite the gremlin tendencies he never moves away from, he's pretty meticulous and particular, and instead of Fazbear's 'more is more' approach to special effects and flashy additions, he'd learn to do subtle and unsettling changes well, as well as flashy but not too much. Now I'm picturing them using a system with cast shadows/'shadow puppets' to have an epic sword fight despite only being one body

The moment Y/N starts to see signs of how much they get into the movies -signs of the boys' actual, long-buried personalities - they get super invested. They make it their personal mission to show them as much as they can, and the duo/trio (since. Sun and Moon aren't separate. can you IMAGINE in this AU--) often end up more interested in the other one's reaction more than the movie (like say in your example where Sun is tense and practically glued to the screen, Y/N is probably staring at him way more than the movie, just as invested in his reaction as Sun is in the story.)

Y/N ends up looking so closely that they start to see more of their personality and preferences - probably even before the boys realize it about themselves (or, well, before they have the time to analyze and acknowledge it themselves) so they take notes and show them more movies they think will fit their tastes

On that note, Y/N totally ends up 1)Getting a library card to rent DVDs/An external drive to.... *find* movies/filmed performances pretty early on, and 2)having secret slumber parties with the boys ALL the time

I think Y/N should end up being handler and stage director, with a good helping of working on props and costume (or at least working with them on costume designs/helping with quick fixes) and they probably help the boys cobble together homemade fan merch/costumes when they ask ehehe or as a surprise! (They do and don't regret making them a very swishy cape during Moon's Phantom phase)

Thanks so much for the asks!!!! They make my day, every time!! I hope you feel better!!!

[pebblysand]

Director's Cut! Way Specific Scene.

i really adore the description in this, because it helps me really visualize it--how harry and ginny are positioned relative to one another, how what they're looking at instead of one another reveals how they are feeling.

I am curious, and you need not answer if you would prefer not to, how you were able to craft this, what your process was, because it seems (forgive me if I'm making bold assertions) like a thing that would be difficult to do given what you've mentioned about how visualization is harder for you than it might be for others.

do you, like, do the actions yourself and then capture each movement in words?

thank you so much for both your amazing writing and your willingness to engage beyond the published text--i feel so very blessed by both aspects of the goddess pebblysand. 🌸

Yeah, this is a super interesting question. This paragraph involved... an embarrassing amount of effort lol. I re-drafted it a number of times haha. It's definitely one those where, generally, *I* don't see anything in that description and I would very happily have moved on without it, but I hear @copper-dust's voice in my head being like: "DETAILS! VISUALS!" so I... yield to the voice in my head lol.

I think I've become more aware of my own limitations in the past year and have, as such, made a conscious effort to adapt. It doesn't mean that I'm changing my style, I'm never going to be a "visual" author, but I can make certain adjustments, you know? This scene could have further details on the colour of the grass and the flow of the waves, and the birds in the sky or whatever, but you're going to have to go someone else's fic to find that cause my brain is incapable, haha. Again, we're making lemonade with the lemons we have, here, you know?

That said, I've noticed I find it easier to generally add visuals at the beginning of scenes (this one and the one with Kingsley and the description of his office earlier in the chapter come to mind) because it's a place where I have mental space to remember to add them, as opposed to later when I'm so focused on the action, dialogue, etc. that it a) wouldn't occur to me and b) would distract me and annoy me as a reader lol. So, usually, every time I get to a new location, I try to force myself to describe it the best I can these days. (Ah, all the sacrifices I make for you, visual people 😅)

To answer your question about my process though, in this case, I just stop and think: how would these people sit? And, so: Ginny would be the kind of girl who sits cross-legged with her skirt over her legs because she wants to look at people when she talks to them. Harry - this is going to sound Very Strange, but I have a whole headcanon from a fic I've started working on but not yet published about the fact that he always sits in a way that make it easy for him to get up and run in one swift-motion. So, he always has at least one foot solidly on the ground, which is the case here. But, if he had both knees up (and feet on the ground), his second leg would be a sort of fence between them, he'd be a lot less relaxed and open towards her with both knees pulled up, which we don't want, because this is a scene where they're having a dialogue.

This conundrum honestly did led me at one point to sitting on the floor of my apartment, trying to find a position for him that worked. Sometimes, I think my neighbours probably think I'm totally cray lol. Then, describing as best as I could, adding in distance (3 or 4 feet cause I'm never bloody sure what a fucking foot is, please adopt metres people!) and light from the sun because it's a hot spring day and I wanted to convey that. She's in the shade because she's not Stupid; I headcanon that Harry's skin is on the "darker" side for a white person (a bit like my own, tbh, is that a self-insert? lmao) and that he tans pretty easily, meaning that he likes to think he never gets burnt, although that is totally Not True. I honestly think about these things too much lol.

Then, their looks are, as you said, also a symbol. She is looking at the castle - which she hates - and he is looking at the water. They're both not looking at each other, though their actual body language is very relaxed and open. That's the contrast I wanted to play with, for obvious reasons as this chapter is very ambivalent.

But, honestly, I almost deleted that paragraph before I published cause it bored me. I'm now glad I didn't, haha.

[spacenutspod]

5 min readPreparations for Next Moonwalk Simulations Underway (and Underwater) Some of the same properties of light and optics that make the sky blue and cause rainbows can also help scientists unlock mysteries about cloud formation and the effects of tiny particles in our air. NASA’s upcoming PACE mission will offer important insights on airborne particles of sea salt, smoke, human-made pollutants, and dust – collectively called aerosols – by observing how they interact with light. With PACE data, scientists will provide better answers to key questions such as how aerosols affect cloud formation or how ice clouds and liquid clouds differ. Understanding the nature of airborne particles and clouds is crucial to deciphering how climate and air quality are changing. Two instruments on NASA’s upcoming PACE mission will look at aerosols and clouds – the A and C in the name of the Plankton, Aerosol, Cloud, ocean Ecosystem satellite. After launch in early 2024, the PACE mission will scan the Earth and gather data on the chemical composition, movement, and interaction of aerosols and clouds through the use of two cutting-edge polarimeters – instruments that measure light properties. Credit: NASA’s Goddard Space Flight CenterDownload this video in HD formats from NASA Goddard’s Scientific Visualization Studio: https://svs.gsfc.nasa.gov/14454/ There are characteristics of light that we can see with our eyes, such as color. Other characteristics are invisible to the human eye, like what scientists call polarization. “Polarization is something that we don’t have an intuitive sense for because our eyes don’t see it,” said Kirk Knobelspiesse, polarimetry lead for the PACE mission at NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center in Greenbelt, Maryland. “If you saw the world through eyes that could see polarization, like our sensors can, you would see rainbows everywhere.”   Light leaving the Sun moves in all different directions like a wave – this is called unpolarized light, said Brian Cairns, deputy project scientist for PACE. When it interacts with something like a cloud or an aerosol particle, however, light can oscillate more in one direction than the others: It is now polarized light. This quirk of light behavior can help scientists learn more about the characteristics and interactions of aerosols and water droplets in the sky. Polarimeters measure the angle at which the light is polarized, which reveals specific characteristics of whatever the light had bounced off of. With these instruments, scientists can piece together the size, composition, abundance, and other traits of the particles in the atmosphere.  An example of a cloud bow, taken late on a winter afternoon in Santa Cruz, California. The cloud in this case was light coastal fog, so this could also be referred to as a fog bow. In the scene, the sun was positioned low in the sky directly behind the viewer so that backscattered light is observed. While this observation geometry is rare from the surface of the earth, it will be common for PACE/HARP2.NASA/Kirk Knobelspiesse The two polarimeters on PACE – HARP2 and SPEXone – make a great pair because of the complementary differences in what they measure. HARP2, built at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County, will observe four wavelengths of light from up to 60 different angles. SPEXone, built at the Netherlands Institute for Space Research (SRON) and Airbus Netherlands B.V., will peer down at a narrower swath, using five viewing angles but looking at light at hyperspectral resolution – the full range of colors in a rainbow. Together the polarimeters will offer a picture of Earth’s atmosphere in unprecedented detail. Scientists have been observing aerosols from space for decades, though the community has not had polarimetry data for a decade, noted Otto Hasekamp, senior scientist at SRON. PACE will provide polarimeter data from multiple vantage points and, due to technological advancements in the instruments, the data will be of better quality than ever before. “It’s exciting to see the culmination of working actively on instrument models and prototypes,” said Jeroen Rietjens, instrument scientist at SRON, “then finally seeing it end up on a real satellite.” Jeroen Rietjens in Goddard cleanroom with PACE. “Very proud to be in the Goddard cleanroom and to pose with the fully assembled and tested PACE satellite, which hosts our small SPEXone instrument. The instrument is neatly wrapped in grey thermal blankets and still has the red radiator cover in place. It is surreal to realize that In a few months it will be staring at the Earth and collecting multi-angle spectro-polarimetric data that will enable scientists to infer the amount and type of aerosols in the Earth atmosphere and contribute to a better understanding of the effects of aerosols on climate,” said Rietjens.NASA/Denny Henry After PACE is launched in early 2024, the satellite will scan Earth every two days, gathering immense quantities of data on the chemical composition, movement, and interaction of aerosols and clouds. “We want to measure properties of aerosols because aerosols affect climate,” said Hasekamp. They reflect light back into space and can also absorb it, which plays a role in how much of the Sun’s energy reaches Earth’s surface. Aerosols also affect cloud formation and properties, but the details of these relationships are not fully known to scientists. The data PACE collects will help to clarify some of these unknowns. The new polarimetry data will also offer real-time insights on air pollution. “PACE measurements will not only answer fundamental science questions, but will also improve people’s quality of life,” said Marcela Loría-Salazar, assistant professor at the School of Meteorology at the University of Oklahoma and PACE early adopter. The PACE Early Adopters program promotes the integration of PACE data into practical applications of science. Loría-Salazar is particularly interested in how aerosols change over time and with location, with an extra emphasis on the altitude of aerosols over the middle of the United States. There, PACE will allow scientists to identify aerosols, while also deciphering what they mean for air quality. The measurements from PACE’s polarimeters will also help improve our understanding of Earth’s climate. By adding PACE atmospheric data to models, scientists will be able to replace the estimates now used to fill data gaps in those models with data from current measurements. “I’m hoping to help gather the data that will reduce model uncertainty and help us make better predictions for how we expect our climate to play out in the next decades and centuries,” Knobelspiesse said. By Erica McNameeNASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center, Greenbelt, Md. Share Details Last Updated Dec 12, 2023 EditorErica McNameeContactErica McNameeerica.s.mcnamee@nasa.govLocationGoddard Space Flight Center Related TermsEarthGoddard Space Flight CenterPACE (Plankton, Aerosol, Cloud, Ocean Ecosystem) Explore More 5 min read NASA Sensor Produces First Global Maps of Surface Minerals in Arid Regions Article 1 day ago 5 min read NASA’s MAVEN Observes the Disappearing Solar Wind Article 1 day ago 6 min read NASA’s Webb Stuns With New High-Definition Look at Exploded Star Article 2 days ago

[official-witchy-vibes]

[apod]

2022 September 18

Analemma over the Callanish Stones Image Credit & Copyright: Giuseppe Petricca

Explanation: If you went outside at the same time every day and took a picture that included the Sun, how would the Sun's position change? A more visual answer to that question is an analemma, a composite image taken from the same spot at the same time over the course of a year. The featured analemma was composed from images taken every few days at noon near the village of Callanish in the Outer Hebrides in Scotland, UK. In the foreground are the Callanish Stones, a stone circle built around 2700 BC during humanity's Bronze Age. It is not known if the placement of the Callanish Stones has or had astronomical significance. The ultimate causes for the figure-8 shape of this and all analemmas are the tilt of the Earth axis and the ellipticity of the Earth's orbit around the Sun. At the solstices, the Sun will appear at the top or bottom of an analemma. The featured image was taken near the December solstice and so the Sun appears near the bottom. Equinoxes, however, correspond to analemma middle points -- not the intersection point. This coming Friday at 1:04 am (UT) -- Thursday in the Americas -- is the equinox ("equal night"), when day and night are equal over all of planet Earth. Many cultures celebrate a change of season at an equinox.

∞ Source: apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap220918.html

[blackbat05]

I need a break

Shangqi x Reader (Platonic) 

A/N: I feel like I’m loosing steam towards the end of my placement and wow I have never needed a break this badly before. Perhaps a short Shangqi x Reader imagine where they are both University students. Seriously at this rate I’ll just be solely a Shangqi writer HAHAHA. Doing this on my phone because I don’t want to open my work computer. Let’s see where this impromptu idea takes me to. Hope you enjoy it and as always like and comment if you wish!

Genre: PG-13

Warnings: None really, just friends supporting each other! I guess there’s an inaccurate timeline if you look at the MCU but hey this is an imagine plus if you look at some of the wiki pages, Shangqi is actually born in 1998/1999. So appreciate if you’re kind enough to go with the flow to read this comfort fic! 

‘Y/N!’ Shangqi rushes to catch up with you after class. You made an effort to conceal your tiredness but he saw it right through. ‘Gosh…you alright?’

You think to yourself. Were you really alright? The answer was pretty obvious. You were ten weeks into your placement and your emotions were a jumbled up mess. Having to deal with work responsibilities was one problem, school assignments were another issue all together. At this point, you felt like you were just getting through each week for the sake of it.

At first, you believed that what you were going through was simply a transition to becoming an adult. You thought that naturally, you would be able to persevere through the stressful periods by yourself. But of course, it has been hard.

You were a social work intern at a neighborhood youth centre, thirty minutes away if you took the train and bus. The work was fulfilling in it’s own ways, but recently there were self-doubts filling your brain, if you were really cut out for the job in the future. If you weren’t, what else could you do?

As you sat with Shangqi in the school’s student-ran cafe, you found yourself pouring out the exact same concerns to him. Credit to him, Shangqi never interrupted your monologue, he just simply listened. That’s what best friends were for. That’s what you did for him to when he ran into issues with his family.

Even then, he couldn’t deny that hearing you doubt yourself broke his heart. He had known you since high school. You mostly kept to yourself and one or two close friends. Despite joining the school’s athletic team where you were one of the main athletes, you preferred to stay in the shadows unlike some of your teammates. That didn’t stop you from going out of your way to help other students in need; like helping the girl who was in an arm cast to copy the social studies notes, even if it meant you had to do it twice. Or maybe just talking to a friend who was stressed out about their results.

Basically, you had studied your ass off to get a secured spot at this university who were only one of the few that offered the degree. He remembers you telling him the moment you got your offer, ‘I’m finally good at something. I don’t have to worry anymore!’

Shangqi wasn’t stupid. The pandemic had done some crazy things. And by crazy, it affected the self-esteem that you had been working so hard on by participating in various projects and events, with you being in charge of a drama production that was promoting on mental health. That was a big deal considering that you were a major introvert.

Online engagement was never easy. In fact he has heard some of your struggles that you’ve shared with him regarding this and it only makes him admire you even more. For someone who preferred to keep to themselves, stepping out of one’s comfort zone, to take on a role that wasn’t just simply about helping people - that took guts.

‘I’m sorry I’m just loading you with all this. I just feel…’ You trailed off, suddenly becoming emotional again. Again, Shangqi does not pry. ‘That I can’t do anything right.’ You emphasize that you had ended the statement for you were unsure that you could keep your cool if you had tried to continue on.

‘If I hear you saying sorry another time,’ he chides, ‘you’re paying for our meal later.’ Your lips curved upwards slightly before returning to its somber position. Shangqi decides that a meal won’t cut it. He needs to deploy ‘Operation Y/N’. Standing up with your buzzer to collect the food, Shangqi whips out his phone. There will be a few changes for today.

Food was definitely a cure in this situation, but it was only a part of the solution. After inhaling your ramen at light speed, Shangqi tells you that today will be a different Friday. ‘And you can’t complain! It’ll be a weekend tmr,’ he tells you. So why not? You figured that even if you went back home early, your head wouldn’t be in the right place to complete the essay for your English module.

‘Hold up! The VR studio that Katy was talking about?’ You look at the tickets inside the taxi that was taking you and Shangqi to the location. ‘How did you even, it was so hard to get these tickets!’ From the time Shangqi met you outside the classroom, he had yet to see you so ecstatic. Until now.

‘Well,’ Shangqi gives his best shrug. ‘I called in a favor from a friend. Said that it was for emergency purposes.’ He raised his fingers to make connotations in the air much to your amusement.

‘Wow… just how much do I not know about you Mr Popular?’ You teased. Shangqi decides to leave the fact on him having to persuade the Wakandan Princess in giving him free tickets.

‘Please! I swear whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it! It’s for Y/N!’

‘Ey well why didn’t you say so? If it’s for that nice friend, of course!’ Shuri leaves the entrance of the compound, an exasperated Shangqi trailing behind.

Yeah, the VR studio that Katy told them about was also funded by King T’Challa himself. With stunning life like visuals thanks to Wakandan technology, the VR studio was located in a middle class neighborhood. T’Challa believed that no matter where kids came from, they should have the right to enjoy and to explore the world. For now, he wasn’t ready to share that he was on the way on becoming a full-fledged Avenger yet - you just had too much on your plate. He’ll just have to settle with this white lie.

‘Is Katy coming?’ You were on the verge of vibrating off your seat. ‘She would love this place!’ Even when you were struggling, Y/N still manages to think about other people. Today, Y/N will put her needs first.

As if to answer your previous question, you can see an equally excited Katy waiting for the two of you at the roundabout. ‘HEL-LO EVERYONE! LET’S GET OUR FRIDAY STARTED IN PROPER SHALL WE?’ Her loud voice had attracted stares, some very displeased looks too but at this point in time, you didn’t give a damn. Katy was right, it was time to enjoy!

You wished that you could slow down time, or even replay it continuously when you needed cheering up because the only thing you felt was pure happiness - euphoria even. Your stomach was in knots for laughing hysterically together with Katy when Shangqi jumped in shock from a surprise scare from a zombie. ‘I’m keeping that for leverage,’ she tells you, quietly slipping her phone into her fanny pack. 

The Wakandans had really outdone themselves this time. Your favorite VR was the paradise VR. Slipping the headgear, you say goodbye to the smiles of Katy and Shangqi, whisking away to a beach that oddly reminded you of your dream destination - Hawaii. From where you were standing, you were surrounded by green and majestic islands. Despite their sheer size, you weren’t intimidated. In fact, you were healing. 

Your mind was no longer in the room of the VR studio. How could it when the sun kissed your skin, giving you the much needed energy that you were lacking for so long? In the room, the two sees you kick your shoes to the side, going barefoot. It may have seem strange, but with the monitor beside you, your actions were perfectly logical. 

As a kid, you used to despise the prickly feeling of sand in between your toes. But now, you grew to love the sensation that each grain of sand had on your skin. It made you feel grounded, that everything was going to be ok. You raise your virtual hand to touch your face - were you crying? 

‘She must have been really stressed huh?’ Katy whispers to Shangqi who nods in return. How he hated the fact that you were giving so much to your work but still felt underappreciated. Forget the Avengers with superhuman abilities, you were the true MVP. The VR ends and you remove your headgear. ‘I’m ok,’ you automatically reassure them despite the dry tears left on both cheeks. You step down the platform slowly, trying to regain sense of the real world. 

What you didn’t expect was the two embracing you in a hug, squishing you in between them. Maybe that had set off the waterworks. For someone like Katy, she had sage advice.

‘Life can be pretty shitty right? But I’m so proud of you fighting it Y/N. Just remember that it’s ok to be weak. I mean, I’ve seen worse from Shangqi,’ she jabs her finger towards his direction, earning a glare from him. That’s Katy, always trying to add a bit of humor to this grey world. Calming down, you let go of the both of them. ‘Thanks guys, for everything.’ 

‘Hey,’ Shangqi responds, slinging his arm over your shoulder. ‘We’re friends, so we don’t leave each other behind.’ Phone beeping, he retrieves it to check the message. ‘And look at that, nice timing. Who wants Korean BBQ?’ 

Trailing behind them, you get an amusing view of Shangqi bickering with Katy on how many Soju bottles she’s allowed to order later. As San Francisco welcomed the night, you were just thankful that you had the two of them to walk through this crazy maze called life. 

‘Last one to the shop is paying!’ 

‘Oh you’re on Mister!’  

A/N: I really just think that this was also an imagine for me to cope too. So I can only hope to finish my placement/assignments/exams well! To anyone who does studies and work simultaneously, I fucking respect you (allow me to use expletives for now, these people deserve the respect). If you’re going through a stressful time, I hope this brings the slightest comfort for you and remember… YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Again, thank you for reading! 

[whatareyousearchingfordean]

Happiness Continues

Part 11: The Delivery

Summary: Jensen and Y/n welcome their newest addition to this world.

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Plus Size Reader

Word Count: 7.2K+

Warnings: Language, angst, descriptions of labor and birth

Author’s Note: Baby Ackles is finally ready to make their first appearance. If you have been following this story since the beginning, you may want to grab a tissue, there just might be some tears (happy tears tho). Also, I will preface this chapter by saying I have never been pregnant nor given birth so please don’t @ me with any inaccuracies, I tried my dudes. Special thanks to my loves for the constant undeserved support and my devoted beta @emoryhemsworth​ xoxo Alex

Catch up with the series masterlist and then check out Alexandra’s Library for more by yours truly!

The winter sun had long ago dipped underneath the horizon, the night bringing a new level of quiet to the residential corner where the birthing center was located. Inside birthing suite two, the only soft light came from the LED strips that followed the length of the walls at the base and ceiling. Currently, they were tuned low and blue, the light mixing with the neutral decor in a way that made her feel like she was underwater. 

Curled on her side in the queen-sized bed, Y/n watched out the window on the opposite wall. Through the sheer curtain, the center’s garden could be visualized. It expanded a few hundred yards until the treeline of the nearby forest began. In silence, she watched the water trickle from the stone fountain in the center. It had been turned off for the season, but the rain that had fallen earlier in the evening still clung to the piece, each drop falling in a slow rhythmic pattern. 

Y/n found it more soothing than what the fountain had looked like last summer when they had first toured the place. She assumed if she was laboring in spring or summer, walking the trails in the garden would be something she found herself doing, even late in the evening as it was currently. But that was a dream she had let go of as the temperature dropped. All she had now was the counting of each drop in between contractions. 

The instinct to hold her breath took over as the next contraction washed over her, the sharp inhale of breath alerting the dozing man next to her. Y/n closed her eyes and focused on taking deep breaths, trying to ground herself to the moment. Fingers pressed into her lower back, one on either side of her spine, applying counter-pressure to the contraction. 

“Harder,” her word was weak, even in the quiet room. The pressure increased instantly, helping her to focus back on breathing through the contraction. It felt like a lifetime later when the pain began to subside before eventually tapering off. The sheets shuffled in the dark behind her before she felt an arm wrap around her abdomen. 

“Where are you at?” Jensen’s voice broke into the room as he pulled her tight against his chest. 

“I don’t know,” she admitted, her gaze back on the fountain outside. “Trying to be anywhere but here.”

“Is there anything I can do for you?” 

“Birth our child?” she tried, unable to stop the smile from creeping up on her face. If there was one thing Y/n didn’t handle well, it was being in pain. She would put back up every wall that anyone had become successful in tearing down, choosing to stew in silence. It was a defense mechanism she had perfected long ago. Never let them see you sweat. Unfortunately, that also meant that she tended to get mean, keeping it all bottled up until she exploded like a shaken can of soda. She truly wished right then that she had a catheter in her back delivering the good meds to her lower body, but she had committed long ago to do this as naturally as possible, her comfort be damned. 

“As soon as they figure out how to do that, I’ve got you, babe,” Jensen chuckled behind her, close enough for her to feel his breath on her neck. She nodded in unfortunate understanding, her hand coming to rest atop her husband’s where it lay on her belly. 

“Actually, could you top off my water bottle?” Y/n spoke back up after a moment of content silence. 

“Of course. Ice?” He questioned, already climbing from the bed to grab her bottle on the nightstand near her. 

“Please,” she confirmed.

“Be back in a flash,” Jensen pressed a quick kiss to her forehead before leaving the room to get ice from the main kitchen in the birthing center. A sigh left her mouth as she pulled herself into a semi-sitting position on the bed and grabbed her phone from where it lay charging. There was a mix of messages in her notifications, all from friends and family with varying messages of encouragement. She appreciated the gesture but to be honest, what Y/n wanted more than anything was to not have all the attention on her. It was yet another symptom of being uncomfortable. Her solace lay in the simple fact that she was not expected to answer any of the messages she received, considering she was in labor and all. Forgetting why she even grabbed the device in the first place, Y/n noted the time and tossed it back on the nightstand. 

It was officially after midnight. Well, technically it was almost twelve-thirty which meant it was Jensen’s birthday. Y/n had found it funny when he had called his mother earlier to let her know that the baby was coming, Jensen had made his stupid joke only to have his face fall when Donna had laughed a little too hard. Her husband was caught up thinking about his mother and teasing the older woman that it didn’t even cross his brain what Y/n going to labor meant for him. Now, as she found herself nearly seven centimeters dilated as the clock turned into the new day, it seemed their baby would share its birthday with their father. 

Jensen came back then, breaking her out of her thoughts but unable to knock the warm smile from her face. He walked around to her side and perched on the edge of the bed, one leg tucked under him as he faced her. Y/n took a drink of the cool liquid, relishing in the calm it brought her. 

“What is that smile about?” He had an equally bright smile of his own, unable to contain it as he watched his wife. 

“Nothing just… happy birthday,” the pregnant woman shrugged in her seat, her eyes casting down to wear her hands now cradled her bump. 

“Yeah, it is,” he agreed, his heart feeling so whole when he thought about it that it felt as though it might burst from his ribcage. There was so much love for the woman in front of him, he didn’t know what to do with it. It scared him sometimes. It didn’t matter what was happening at the moment, but he could look at her and he would forget for a second that the world existed outside them and all he knew was that she made everything okay. His heart would skip a beat so fast he barely noticed and the urge to cry became overwhelming. Only this time, he refused to fight it, allowing a few tears to well up in his eyes. 

“What’s this about?” Y/n sat up, concern now etched into her features as she brought herself close enough to her husband that she could wipe away the single tear that had escaped down his cheek with her thumb. She had caught sight of it, of course, even in the low light of the room. In the few silent seconds that he sat there smiling, she felt warm under his stoic gaze, unsure of what was going on in that head of his. Jensen shook his head, his smile still not faltering. 

“I love you,” he said simply. 

“I love you, too,” Y/n agreed, her concern melting away and taking with it the crease in her brow. Her husband cradled her face in his hands, pulling her face up to press his lips to hers. He poured every emotion that was currently making him dizzy into that kiss, afraid that if he didn’t, she would never know. But she did know, and though Y/n didn’t need more than those three words, she couldn’t deny him the release he so evidently needed. The desperation seeped from his every pore as his lips brushed against hers, unwilling to part until the need for air overtook everything else. 

A gentle knock on the door snapped his brain back down to Earth. Jensen released his hold on her face, watching as it took her a second longer to open her eyes once they parted. He cleared his throat before calling out.

“Come in.”

Their midwife, Melek, snuck into the room, not making a sound as she closed the door behind her. She turned the lights up just a touch, giving the couple a warning beforehand. 

“Hey, I’m just back to check your progress,” she snatched a pair of gloves from their place in one of the drawers and came to the side of the bed Jensen was still perched on. He moved out of her way as Y/n scooted down the bed slightly. Melek asked Y/n how she was feeling as she went about her work. The midwife listened and nodded along to everything she explained. 

“Well, we are getting very close. Based on how you’ve progressed so far, this baby could be here in the next couple of hours. You are going to start feeling the urge to push soon, might feel like you have to poop, don’t ignore that or any other changes you notice.” Melek stood from the bed and tossed her gloves before washing her hands. She made a note on the whiteboard in the room before coming back over to the couple. 

“You are welcome to continue relaxing, whatever feels best. However, if you feel up to it, I would suggest taking a walk in the garden. I know it’s cold and late, but it will help to energize you before the big work starts.”

“Thank you. Is that safe?” Y/n was adjusting her nightgown back into place as she talked. 

“Yes, if you choose to take a walk, I would go now. No longer than twenty minutes outside and I will be back in another hour,” Their midwife confirmed. The couple nodded in acknowledgment of her words, offering her more words of ‘thanks’ as she exited the suite. 

“Well, what do you think, momma?” Jensen put his hands on his hips as he looked down at her. 

“Couldn’t hurt,” Y/n shrugged. She offered him an innocent smile. “Help me put on my shoes?” 

“Deal.”

****

A low groan emanated from her chest as she battled through her current contraction. Her hands were locked around Jensen’s neck as she rested her head on his shoulder. The actor was rocking her back and forth, once again applying counterpressure to her lower back.

“Oh god, I feel nauseous,” Y/n breathed out as the contraction subsided. She let up on the weight she had been putting on her husband.

“That’s normal though, right?”

“Yeah, I was just venting,” she let the air out of her lungs rush past her lips. “I don’t expect you to do anything about it.” Her words were clipped as they tumbled from her mouth before she could stop them. The laboring woman cringed as she felt her husband stiffen underneath her. The soda had popped. Her movements were hesitant as she raised her head to look at him, regret written across her face. 

“I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s okay, you are allowed to do whatever you want to me today.” The smile that graced his lips was tight, but she suspected it was more from the exhaustion than anything. She could see the heaviness in his eyes. 

“No, it’s not. Come on, yell at me. Tell me you don’t need that shit because you were just trying to be helpful,” she pleaded with him, the guilt heavy in her chest. 

“You want me to pick a fight with you while you are in labor?” Amusement was heavy in his words. 

“Yeah, please? I deserve it. You are being far too nice to me.”

“It’s not happening. Sorry, babe.” Y/n growled in frustration, causing her husband to throw his head back and laugh. 

The sound of yet another knock had her releasing her grip on her husband as she called the midwife in. It was time for the hourly check of her labor progression, a task that Y/n had grown a distinct distaste for. As the hours came and went and it felt like nothing was happening, it all just felt pointless. At this point, she was begging this kid to come out. 

Melek made quick work of the check, a smile on her face after when she pulled off her gloves. “Seems as though it’s time, momma. You are fully dilated. How are you feeling?” 

“Uh,” Y/n shared a look with her husband as their midwife headed over to the tub on the opposite side of the room and started the water. She gave a quick synopsis of what had happened in the last hour before asking, “Are we pushing now?” 

“We can start. Sounds like you’ve already had some urges to. Right now it’s about listening to your body and what it’s telling you. I’m going to grab the nurse while you get in the water.” Melek left the water running and the couple dumbstruck. 

“Okay, I guess this is happening,” Y/n scoffed, allowing her husband to help her from the bed. He stripped down to his boxer briefs while she slipped off the gown she was wearing, leaving her as naked as the day she was born. Jensen helped her into the tub and down to sit between his legs. As the water reached its max level, he stopped the tap and urged her to sit back against his chest. 

True to her word, Melek was back in no time with a nurse and everything else they would need. They flourished around the room, getting ready as yet another contraction hit. Y/n’s grip on her husband tightened, her mind focused on one thing now. Jensen was whispering in her ear, helping to guide her breaths. Y/n gave in to the urge to push, more than ready now to have this over with. The pattern was quick and repeated itself again, and then again, and again. 

The time clicked away on the clock on the far wall, each passing minute mocking the laboring woman as it turned over the hour. If she had thought she was exhausted before, it was nothing compared to how she felt now. Sweat dripped from her forehead, small tendrils of hair that had fallen from the bun on top of her head stuck to her flushed skin. She dropped her head onto her husband’s shoulder, soft pants passing her lips as she tried to relax before the next contraction hit. 

Only it didn’t take long, the pain returning before she even had time to think. The contraction had her doubling in on herself, concentrating on bearing down. Her scream originated low in her chest, the sound of it low as it echoed out in the room. Y/n knew that Melek was coaching her, but she couldn’t hear the words anymore, her body too far spent. 

“I can’t,” As the contraction dissipated, she threw her head back and hid her face in the crook of Jensen’s neck. 

“You can, Y/n. Your body was made to do this,” Melek encouraged, a hand on the poor woman’s shoulder. Y/n swatted it away as she let out another sob. 

“No, I can’t. I’m too tired,” her shoulders shook as she let it all out. Jensen turned and placed a kiss on her temple. 

“Honey, if anyone can do this it’s you,” he whispered in her ear. “I know you’re tired and that means you are ready to quit, but you can’t, not yet. Just think about holding our baby in your arms, you are so close.” 

Another sob shook through her as she indicated her disagreement with his words. She wanted to believe him, she wanted to believe him so badly it hurt but Y/n had never felt so defeated in her life. This was finally it and she couldn’t do it. 

“Look at me, Y/n.” He waited for her eyes to open and focus on him. “You can and you will. I’m right here, I’ve got you. You are gonna push this baby out and we are gonna love it so much all this will be a distant memory. Nothing else will matter but the life we created.” 

“You drive a hard bargain,” she hiccuped out with a laugh. Jensen chuckled along with her, offering another kiss to her temple. They nodded at each other, silent words being passed between them just before the next contraction hit. This time she put all her energy behind it, refusing now to be defeated. It was far from easy, but only she could do it now. 

She couldn’t be sure how many contractions later it happened, the only thing she was sure of was the instant relief that washed over her body. Her eyes snapped open as Melek pulled her gook covered baby from the warm water of the tub, holding up its long body so both her and Jensen could see. 

“It’s a boy!” Melek announced, placing the infant against Y/n’s bare chest. It all happened in a second and Y/n was holding her son in her arms. Jensen was peppering her face with kisses and muttering soft praises, his arms wrapped around her and helping the nurse wipe the baby clean. More sobs racked her body as soft cries came from the tiny body in her arms. Everything felt like too much like her whole being was vibrating on some new frequency she didn’t yet understand. It was invigorating and terrifying at the same time. 

“I told you!” Y/n turned to look at her husband, the sobs that had been shaking through her now intermixed with soft laughter.

“Yeah, you did, babe. I’ll promise to never question you again,” the smile on his face grew as soon as he realized what she was talking about. The giggles coming from his wife seemed to seep into him and soon he was laughing along with her. 

Y/n feigned a scoff, chuckles still seeping past her lips and a beautiful smile on her lips. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Ackles.” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” 

****

It took a while before anyone was able to pry her son from her arms and even then, she refused to give up to anyone besides Jensen. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust the nurse or midwife, she just felt that if she gave him up, the feeling in her chest would go with him. Only the soft voice of her husband was able to coax her out of the bubble she had wrapped herself into. Reluctantly, she handed the infant off to her husband who passed him on to be weighed and measured. 

The nurse was then able to help her out of the tub and into the shower, washing away the remnants of her son’s birth from her body. In that short amount of time, she ached to hold her son again. Her mind couldn’t focus on anything besides him, and it pissed her off. She didn’t feel in control of herself, consumed by the maternal instincts now flooding her neurons. 

When she emerged from the bathroom, Jensen was propped up against the headboard, his legs casually crossed at the ankle in front of him. Discarded still at the foot of the bed was his shirt he had peeled away before they had gotten into the tub, but he had slipped his Nike joggers back on his tall frame. His large hands dwarfed their son, who was only in a diaper, where Jensen held him against his chest. The couple shared a smile before she made her way over to him, climbing gingerly into the bed next to her husband and son. Y/n curled herself into his side as the nurse left them to be alone. 

“Nine pounds and seven ounces, twenty-one inches long,” Jensen smirked down at the sleeping infant. Y/n choked out a breath, her jaw dropping open in the process. 

“Jesus, I’m never gonna be the same,” she blew out a breath. The tired woman laid her head against her husband’s shoulder, her eyes never leaving her sleeping child. She could feel her husband shaking softly with laughter. Mostly, she was just as amused as him, but on the other hand, she wasn’t kidding. 

As she settled into her spot, their son began to stir, his face scrunching into a frown. Jensen moved quickly, pulling the kid away and offering him to his mother. 

“What, the first time he even indicates he might cry and you immediately hand him over to me?” Y/n leans away from her husband, a confused frown etched into her features. 

“Uh, yeah, I don’t have the goods,” the Texan flicked his eyes down at her chest before looking back at her face. He had one eyebrow raised and a smirk on his face. 

“Okay, how do you even know he’s hungry? Maybe he needs to be changed?” 

“He’s fresh out of the womb and hasn’t eaten anything, you do the math,” Jensen held him out again. Y/n rolled her eyes for effect when the truth was she couldn’t wait to get her hands on that baby again. 

“Well go get the midwife, I don’t know what I’m doing here,” Y/n tilted her head towards the door. She had one hand cradling the infant and her other was working to pull her gown away from her chest. 

“Right,” he bounded from the bed, grabbing his shirt as he went and pulling it over his head. The door barely had time to shut behind him before he was returning, Melek in tow. The midwife was more than helpful, guiding Y/n and her baby through their first feeding. It took them a few tries before it seemed like they finally got the hang of it. Melek left them again to the peace of the early morning.��

The sun had yet to breach the horizon but that didn’t stop the birds from putting on a show outside. Jensen had climbed back into bed with his family, situating himself as close as possible to his wife. It gave him the best vantage to watch the miracle they had created. He rested his hand on the baby’s head, rubbing his thumb across the infant’s hair. 

Y/n didn’t even bother averting her gaze as her husband nestled into her side. She was far too transfixed on her son. Every emotion felt magnified a thousand times since she gave birth, to the point where she felt like she might burst. It was hard to sort through them, the exhaustion of her body not helping at all. Now, as she stared down at the precious life she and Jensen had created, the only thing she felt was calm. His eyes were closed as he fed, the soft gurgles and breaths he let out the only noise in the suite. 

“He’s perfect,” she mumbled to no one in particular, she just felt it needed to be said. 

“He really is,” Jensen agreed. “I had no doubt, which is why I got you this.” Y/n tore her eyes away then as Jensen procured a long velvet case from behind him. He offered the object to Y/n who took it with her free hand. 

“What is this? It’s your birthday today, not mine,” she tried arguing.

“Just open it, you dork. Besides, you’ve already given me the best gift I could ever have,” Jensen urged her to open it. His eagerness washed off him as he smiled at her, his hand back on his son’s head. 

Being careful to not jostle the child eating in her arms, Y/n used both hands to flip open the case. Laying against a dark cushion inside was a gold bracelet with a row of seven round stones in the center. She caught the card that was placed inside when it tried to fall away, reading the small paragraph. 

‘Customised with seven beautifully crafted semi-precious stones amidst a string of shimmering beads. Each stone is traditionally associated with various characteristics that also typify those born in that particular month – The March birthstone is Aquamarine, which has a pale blue appearance and symbolizes honesty, loyalty, and happiness.’

The tears fell from her eyes as she read, threatening to turn into full-blown sobs. Y/n sniffed as her emotions continued to get the better of her, using the end of the blanket to wipe the wetness from her cheeks. Happiness. There wasn’t anything she could think of better to describe how she was feeling. It was indescribable happiness that had begun on that New Year’s Eve two years ago and continues through the life she now held in her arms. It was happiness she feared she would never get to experience, and yet, here she was. 

“Jay, this is beautiful. But how-”

“I ordered one for February too, can’t be too careful,” he answered before she could ask, earning a giggle from his wife. “You really like it?” 

“Honey, I love it. I can’t imagine a more perfect gift.”

“Here,” Jensen pushed away from the headboard and offered his hand to take the case from her. She handed it back to him, allowing him to take the delicate bracelet from its setting. He urged her to raise her arm, making quick work of clasping the piece of jewelry around her right wrist. “There, perfect.”

“Perfect,” she agreed. 

****

The midwife cleared Y/n and the baby to go home just before noon that day. They had spent less than twenty-four hours in the birthing center, but as she dressed her son to go home she couldn’t help but feel like she was going to miss it. That stupid little room now held so much meaning to her, and she hated it. The exhaustion and hormones were making her stupidly sentimental. 

As they turned into their driveway, Jensen was forced to pull their SUV into the yard since the entirety of their driveway was filled with cars. He hopped out of the driver’s seat to help Y/n from the car before grabbing the car seat with their son inside. Her husband allowed her to waddle along in front of him, a smirk on his lips when she looked over her shoulder before opening the gate to their home. 

Across the stone courtyard, she could see their family all huddled in front of the expansive window that saw into their living room. Everyone waved excitedly as the new family made their way towards the house. Y/n took in the faces of her and Jensen’s parents, along with her brothers and their families. Jensen’s siblings were too far out to make it right now, but even still Y/n was surprised to see her brothers. Donna and Alan had come down as soon as they called to let them know Y/n was in labor, staying in their guestroom for the coming week to help the new parents adjust. She expected her parents too, even though they couldn’t stay longer than the night, rooming in Jared’s guesthouse and leaving in the morning. But yeah, her brothers were a surprise. 

The family was greeted and the door, an array of excited faces welcoming them home. Someone had hung a ‘congratulations’ banner, with a matching ‘happy birthday’ one just below it. Everyone wrapped the new mother up in a tight embrace before passing her along to the next family member while the kids swarmed Jensen and the baby. It took quite some convincing from the parents to quiet down the little ones, all excited to meet their new cousin and forgetting that they needed to chill out as he was sleeping currently. 

“Alright,” Jared’s voice broke above the commotion of multiple conversations. “As the godfather and the whole reason this child even exists, I call dibs on holding him first!” He looked to his sister, his brows high on his forehead as he waited for her answer. 

“You all are going to get a turn, I don’t care who goes first. But stop saying you are the reason he exists, it’s weird… ” She waved him on before adding, “and don’t forget the sanitizer.”

Jensen lifted the car seat to the island as Jared bounced over to him. He literally was bouncing on the balls of his feet, his sister rolling her eyes as she followed behind him. The giant of a man moved delicately as he pulled the sleeping infant from the car seat. If she had thought her son looked small in her husband’s arms, it had nothing on how he looked compared to Jared. He took the newborn over to sit on the couch, all the cousin’s swarming him in no time. 

“You need anything?” Jensen put his hand on her lower back to bring her attention from their family to him. 

“A water?” She suggested as she looked over to him, knowing she would need it sooner rather than later. He nodded and turned to grab a water bottle for her. A soft ‘oh’ had her turning her head back towards her husband. Jensen stepped out of the way to show her their freezer full of Tupperware of different foods. 

“We all made a few things for the freezer. I know Donna is staying with you for a little while, but once she is gone, you’ll thank me,” Y/n’s mother appeared next to her. 

“Thanks, mom,” Once again she found herself fighting back the tears as she pulled her mother into a tight embrace. Sharon ran her hands up and down her daughter’s back as the younger woman refused to let go. Half of it was not wanting to let go, the other half was hiding her tears in the black sweater her mother wore. When she finally relented, Jensen was standing there with a tissue. He offered it to his wife who took it with a sheepish smile before he also hugged his mother-in-law. 

The group in the kitchen returned to the living room where the rest of the family was, fussing over the baby. Jensen sat down in his chair near the fireplace that was angled to where the rest of the family was on or near the couch. He grabbed his wife’s wrist and pulled down along with him, situating her into his lap. The new mother fidgeted in her seat, struggling to get comfortable. 

“Would you stop that?” Jensen’s voice was low in her ear as he squeezed her legs in a vain attempt to hold her still. 

“I-,” She shifted again with a soft sigh before turning to whisper in his ear. “I’m very sore down there, and your legs are not the most comfortable right now.” His lips formed a thin line as he nodded. Before she could say anything else, he lifted and moved them both so she was situated in between him and the side of the chair, effectively taking the pressure off of her sensitive area. 

“Better?” 

“God yes,” she huffed before snuggling into his side. The couple watched content as their family traded their son around. The looks of amazement from the kids and the near tears from the adults filled her heart more than she imagined it could have ever been before. Just when she thought it was full, it somehow found room for more love and happiness. 

“So, have you two decided on a name yet?” Sharon spoke up as he was passed to her. The older woman was gently bouncing on her feet, her husband peering over her shoulder. 

The new parents shared a look, unsure which of them should answer the question to the information they had filled out in his birth certificate just before leaving for home. Everyone had been asking since they got the news he was officially here, though the couple didn’t have an answer as they struggled to come up with something. Jensen tilted his head to her, signaling that she should answer. 

“Yes, after an agonizing two hours of staring at him and willing him to tell us what his name should be, we finally picked one,” Y/n explained, her husband chuckling next to her at the memory of her talking to him as he slept. “His name is Ezra Jay Ackles.” 

There were murmured compliments and agreements that the name more than fit the little bundle of joy they had just welcomed into their family. Sharon passed Ezra on to his other grandmother, the woman giddy as she took over baby holding duty. Ezra had woken up by now, his dark eyes searching and unsure of the commotion around him, but he had yet to fuss. 

“Did you go with Jay because he looks just like Jensen?” she questioned, not taking her eyes off the infant in her arms. 

“Ugh don’t remind me,” Y/n huffed, her face scrunched up at her mother-in-law’s words. 

“Hey, I thought you liked the way I looked,” Jensen pouted next to her, but she could see the twinkle in his eye. 

“That’s not the point. It would be just my luck that I carried him for nine months, was in labor for over eighteen hours while also needing to feed him every two hours, for him to look just like his dad. Where’s the justice in that?” Y/n frowned as her family laughed at her confession. 

“Welcome to my world,” Gen piped up. “All of them, little clones of their dad.” The Padalecki women all nodded in agreement to that sentiment, much to the annoyance of their husbands. 

“Hey, the Padalecki genes are strong, we can’t help it,” Jared protested, making Jensen throw his head back in laughter. 

“If that’s true then I guess the Ackles genes are even stronger,” the new father countered, earning a shove from his wife. 

“Alright you two, put the rulers away,” her joke got the rest of the room cackling at the boys’ expense. That satisfied the woman more than she would ever admit. 

Not long after the reveal of their baby’s name, the family began to pack things up and head out. It had been a busy and tiring twenty-four hours for the new little family, and their loved ones headed out to give them some peace. Once everyone was gone, Alan offered to go to the store and grab something to whip up for dinner, leaving just Donna with the new parents. 

“Y/n, honey, why don’t you go lay down. I know you haven’t really slept since yesterday,” Donna piped up, noting how the woman’s eyes were getting heavy. She was curled up on the couch next to her husband who was holding their son once again. Donna was picking up the mess left by the family. 

“Mmm that sounds good but he will have to feed soon, I should just stay here,” Y/n answered with a hum. She couldn’t deny, a nap sounded wonderful but everything was about Ezra and his needs now. 

“Couldn’t we just give him a bottle?” Jensen asked, earning a shake of the head from both of the women in the room. 

“No, if you guys are committed to breastfeeding, she’s got to get her milk supply in and the best way to do that is for him to feed. Also, there is nipple confusion,” Donna stated matter of fact with Y/n nodding along the whole time. 

“Nipple confusion?” Jensen looked to his wife, confusion written all over his face. The term sounded familiar to the actor, but he couldn’t for the life of him come up with a definition. 

“It means that Ezra could get confused between the bottle and the breast, and the concern is that he would prefer the bottle,” Y/n explained, her hand absentmindedly running along her son’s cheek.

Jensen nodded in understanding and shrugged, “Not if he’s my son.” 

The new mother reared back in confusion. “Why?” was the only thing Y/n could say after she and Donna looked at him with equal disgust and disappointment. Jensen grimaced under their looks before she continued. “Your mother is in the room.” 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Mom, I don’t know why I said it,” the look of shame on his face morphed into fear as he prepared for a scolding, but that moment never came. Instead, Donna stood and walked over to where they were seated. 

“Alright, give me the kid,” the older Mrs. Ackles reached out for her grandson. Jensen gave him up without question. “Both of you need to sleep. Don’t worry, I will come and get you if he gets hungry.” 

“It’s best not to argue with her when she makes that face,” Jensen muttered under his breath, but not so quiet that his mother didn’t hear him. She raised her brow at him, an action that was remarkably similar to the one Jensen often emulated. 

“I’ll take your word for it,” Y/n agreed, allowing her husband to help her to her feet. Jensen gave his mom a quick peck on the cheek in passing as he pulled his wife along with him to their bedroom. 

Inside the curtains were still drawn from when they had left yesterday, only a small sliver of light peeking into the room from its edges. Neither of them bothered with changing, knowing it was too much work for now. Instead, Jensen just turned down the bed, allowing them to slip under the cool covers. He settled into the pillows, lifting his arm to invite her back to his side. Of course, she obliged, snuggling into his chest with one hand placed where she could feel the steady beat of his heart under her fingertips. 

Jensen wrapped his arm around her, his hand resting against her arm, rubbing soft circles against her skin. He stared up at the ceiling in the semi-dark room, watching the spinning blades of their ceiling fan make countless revolutions. His mind was racing, all the emotions of the last day starting to get to him now that he had nothing else to focus on. 

Y/n was silent as well, but he knew she hadn’t fallen asleep yet, her body still too tense to have fully succumbed to the exhaustion. If he wanted to ever get some shut-eye, he knew he had to get some things off his chest. He needed to let go. 

“You know what this reminds me of?” There was a gruff undertone to his voice, yet it still managed to be soft as he sought to not startle his wife. She hummed in response, letting him know she was listening. “Our first night together. Well, after… everything.” 

“How so?” Y/n shifted so she could have a better view of her husband who now had her full attention. 

“I couldn’t sleep then either. Too much going on in my head,” Jensen took a deep breath, his eyes still on the ceiling as he continued. “I kind of have this tendency to push all my emotions to the side to deal with them another time, even if that other time never comes, but that night, I just… I couldn’t get myself to do it. As I stared down at you, sleeping against my chest with that stupid little content smile on your face, I realized that you were worth all of it, every emotion: the fear, the anxiety, and even the guilt; they were all worth feeling for you.”

The crease in her brow deepened as her husband confessed to her what he went through that night. Jensen looked down at her then, a smile on his face and tears once again pooling in his eyes. He brought up his hand to caress her cheek before continuing. 

“I never believed in love at first sight, hell, I still don’t, because even through all of that fear and anxiety what I felt most of all was love, and that didn’t happen overnight. It happened in the weeks we had spent in the makeup trailer, in the way you trusted me with the things you wouldn’t even tell your brother, and in your sarcastic comebacks that never failed to surprise me. I spent weeks falling in love with you and didn’t even realize it.”

“The only thing I could do was watch you sleep, so irrevocably in love with you that I was scared if I pushed away those bad feelings… if I didn’t consider every possible thing that could wrong from that moment on, that I would lose the best thing in my life now, so that’s what I did, just watched you sleep and go over every possible scenario my mind could come up with of how us being together could go wrong. I know...” He had to stop again, needing a moment to take a shuddering breath. “I know that day when I told you we needed a break hurt you and made you question everything I ever said to you and sure we’re past it now, but I really need you to know that when I came to you that next morning and asked you to go on one date with me, I didn’t make that decision lightly. I had decided before you even tried to sneak out of the guesthouse that you were worth everything.”

“Why are you telling me this now?” After he was silent for a moment, she couldn’t bear it any longer. 

“Because I… I feel so much right now that I can’t shut it out. The love I feel for you and our son right now, I want to stay in that feeling forever. Even if it means facing every fear or anxiety over making sure you both are safe and happy and thriving. I just had to let you know that you two are my whole world now and I will spend the rest of my life never letting you forget it,” Jensen confessed, allowing the tears that he had been biting back now flow freely. Deep down he knew it was what he needed, that release of every emotion before he could truly relax. Just like she also knew that the time for words was over.

“Thank you for telling me that,” she nuzzled back into his side, pressing her cheek against his chest to listen to his heart again. Y/n knew it wasn’t easy for her husband to admit all of that to her. Those true moments where he exposed himself fully to her were rare. Not that she minded, Y/n didn’t need him to cut out his heart and serve it on a silver platter. Her husband was a man of action. He showed her all she needed to know in every first cup of coffee he brings her in the mornings or running her a bath when she needs time alone. Marriage is as much about the little things as it is about any grand declaration. If you asked Y/n, she would take the soft smiles and lingering touches over a grand speech any day, but this was nice too. 

Part 12: Home

Forevers: @22sarah08​ @akshi8278​ @anathewierdo​ @atc74​ @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce​​ @briagallen​ @callmekda​ @dawnie1988​ @deandreamernp​ @deanwanddamons​ @ellewritesfix05​ @emoryhemsworth​ @foxyjwls007​ @hobby27​ @janicho88​ @jensengirl83​ @katehuntington​ @lyarr24​ @malfoysqueen14​ @miss-nerd95​ @mrsjenniferwinchester​ @msmarvelouswinchester​ @polina-93​​ @sleepylunarwolf​ @stiles-stilinski-24-dylan​ @smol-and-grumpy​ @suckmyapplejacks​ @superfanficnatural​ @supraveng​ @talesmaniac89​ @thoughts-and-funnies​ @tranquility-or-chaos​​ @waywardbeanie​ @winchest09​

Happiness Continues: @afangirlreacts​ @anaelsbrunette​ @ashleyrose0117 @austin-winchester67​ @cno92​ @deanbowlegsackles​ @deangirl93​ @deans-baby-momma​ @death-unbecomes-you​ @dvnmbabe​ @fangirl199813 @spndestiellover​ @hoboal87​ @itsdesiree86​ @jbsgirl4eber11 @let-me-luve-you​ @linki-locks11​ @lunarmoon8​ @neverland14353​ @onethirstyunicorn​ @parinarain​ @rebeccathefangirl​ @rebelemilu​ @smoothdogsgirl​ @spnfamily-j2​ @squirrelnotsam​ @stoneyggirl​ @supernatural3002​ @traceyaudette​ @winchestergirl82​ @winqhster​ @zpandaqueen​

[writingtoforgetreality]

Louisiana Fever (Bucky Barnes x GN!Reader)

Request: Hi! Since your ask are open could I have a imagine with bucky where him and his boyfriend (if you’re uncomfortable with male reader could you make it gender neutral pls?) are at the Wilson’s party and they talk about moving here and maybe getting a dog? Something really sweet and fluffy please? I’m having a hard time and need a bit of softness! Thanks you! (by @pastel-boy-sungjae), [Marvel-Masterlist]

Summary: A forever changing decision was made between Bucky & you. Whatever the future held for you, you could not wait to finally start somewhere new.

Words: 1,876 [Are you proud of me?]

Warnings: language, humor, fluff, short & sweet, no pronouns used, TFATWS spoilers, REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

Louisiana. Home of the Wilson family. A pier alongside the turquoise sea which created comforting tunes to soothe your ears. The slight breeze that tickled your skin in the most pleasurable way possible. A peaceful place to stay & feel safe, no matter the alarming threats menacing this universe daily. Here, it appeared to be as calm as ever. Like a bubble enveloping the area here, along with its people. A dome to prevent jeopardy from taking over.

The party was hosted by Sam, assisted by his younger sister Sarah. They invited Bucky & in addition to that, he invited you. You were his partner & if he attended a get-together then he only ever did with you right by his side. At first, you disliked the idea of inserting yourself where you believed you were not wanted. Luckily, your boyfriend had some reassuring pep talks up his sleeve that convinced you to tag along.

A flight was booked & before you even knew it, Sam hugged you close to his body as he greeted you. Bucky had informed him that you would come along. To his best friend, that was a given. There was no Bucky without you & no you without Bucky. Hence why he did not explicitly say that he obviously invited you as well.

It was the first time you were introduced to Sam’s family & his friends living nearby. The locals were more than welcoming & helpful even though you were complete strangers. Plainly stated, you fell in love with this place. The atmosphere was incomparable, like nothing you had ever encountered. This new, unfamiliar feeling washed through your body & there was only one word that could come close to describing it. Home. Not Bucky’s apartment where you had moved into a while ago. This strange yet somehow well-known place triggered emotions in you that you thought did not exist. You wondered if Bucky reacted in a similar way as you walked down the pier, hands intertwined, gazing out to the endless blue horizon. Where one hue kissed the other in an almost seamless way. Connecting yet separating sea from sky. A stunning sight that caught your plenary attention. You imagined yourself spending hours, simply watching the sun rise during the chill hours of the morning & set during the warm hours of the evening. The light not only coloring the sky in reds & purples but that same tone reflecting in the waves of the water which were caused by the wind.

“Hey, lovebirds! A little help here!” a familiar voice echoed in your ears & you found yourself turning around as you searched for the source of it.

“We’ll be right there, Sam.” you yelled over the distance so he could hear you clearly.

“He does have awful timing.” Bucky joked, wrapping an arm over your shoulders. You giggled & silently agreed with him though both of you were aware that you did not mind one bit.

Preparations were almost done, you simply assisted with the last finishing touches. They really went out of their way to create a homely aura for everyone to enjoy. Bucky & you occupied one of the many wooden tables, sitting next to Sam, Sarah & her kids. You guys had so much fun & could barely contain your laughter. Those people were not just friends. They were family. Blood related or not, the feeling they gave you counted at the end of the day.

The barbeque was delicious, as were the many options of desserts. One of them which you brought along. Bucky whined about a cake & who were you to deny him something you loved too? And by the fast pace it was gone, you assumed the others relished it just as much.

Food was long forgotten but the chatter kept the party alive. In the lifestyle you found yourself in, it was a rare sight to be surrounded by so much happiness & contentment. Usually, people radiated desperation & fear. Here, it was as if nothing bad existed. Only the smiles & sparkles in people’s eyes as they talked about something they were passionate about or the most random topic that came to mind. It did not matter. Acceptance was capitalized & it was a gift to experience it. With your boyfriend, with your best friend. With soon-to-be friends, you hoped.

“…so they aren’t here today ‘cause they’re currently movin’ out.” Sam pointed to the house that sat right next to his. Your eyes widened a little at this statement.

“It’s up for sale then?” you questioned, referring to the cottage that definitely needed some hours of dedicated work but appeared to be worth it underneath its surface.

“Yeah, it is. Still looking for a new owner.” Sam nodded. A smirk spread onto your face & you nudged Bucky with your elbow to gain his attention. With raised eyebrows, he turned his head so your eyes were locking.

“Okay. What’s going on in that head of yours?” Bucky chuckled as he noticed the enthusiastic look you wore. Sam observed your interaction but decided to stay silent for the time being.

“We could buy it, right?” you suggested, rambling so your words blurred together & it was hard to make out what you said.

“The house?” it took him a couple of seconds before he answered your question with another one. Simply because he was uncertain if you were joking or if you were serious.

“No, a trip to Disneyland. Of course the house.” you replied with a slight sarcastic tone.

“You wanna move here?” Bucky asked once again to ensure that he understood correctly.

“Don’t you? I mean, it’s perfect for us, Buck. The people here are lovely & we’ve got Sam here.” you pointed out, trying to list as many positive aspects as necessary to convince him.

“Wait, wait, wait.” Sam chimed in & you directed your attention to him. “Does that mean robot-boy will be my neighbor?” he pointed his finger at Bucky with fake disgust that had you laughing.

“That would annoy you, wouldn’t it?” Bucky inquired with a sly smile.

“Totally.” Sam countered, now completely ignoring that it was your idea in the first place. The two of them were bickering like children & it was a useless attempt to stop them.

“Perfect, we’ll buy it then.” your boyfriend’s statement had you shocked but equally excited.

“Really?” you could not help but ask.

“Really.” Bucky assured you & placed a short kiss on your lips.

“Why did I even say anything?” Sam shook his head, mumbling those words so nobody heard. Deep down, he had to admit that the could imagine it to be pleasant to have you two with him at all times. Though he would never say that out loud.

“We’re gonna move to Louisiana.” you exclaimed, throwing your arms around Bucky’s neck to hug him tightly. Your future could finally begin here. Something told you that it was the right decision. Sam only had to pull some strings & the deal was almost as good as yours.

A few hours ticked by, the sun had already started setting & Bucky suggested to watch the remaining minutes down by the dock. Your back rested against his chest, his arms securely wrapped around your waist as you sat in between Bucky’s legs. Savoring the last sunbeams that shone into your face & had you squint your eyes in order not to blind you. A comfortable silence settled around you. The sound of the sea the only discernible noise amongst the calm of the evening. But every quiet had to end eventually. And it was you who broke it, voicing a thought that had been playing in the back of your mind ever since you agreed on moving here.

“Hey, what about a dog?” your question caught him off guard & he barely had time to prepare a reply.

“Huh?” was all he could muster & you giggled at his perplexity.

“A dog. When we move here. Don’t you think this is a perfect place for a dog?” you turned in his arms so you could hold eye contact.

“We’ve already got Sam.” Bucky scoffed & you rolled your eyes annoyingly at him.

“I’m being serious, Buck.” & you truly were. Ever since you could remember, you promised yourself that you would adopt a dog if the chance was given. With a house this size, it would be a waste to not fulfill your dream. You watched Bucky sigh but the glint in his eyes showed you that he contemplated your thought.

“We’re not getting a Chihuahua.” he made clear before you got even crazier ideas.

“What’s wrong with a Chihuahua?” your dumbfounded expression had him laughing.

“They’re outta the question.” he stated & left no room to argue.

“Fine.” you breathed out with an exaggerated sigh. “A Corgi?”

“Why?” you did not understand why you had to reason with him but you had to think fast to provide a reasonable explanation.

“Because they’re cute.” maybe not the smartest of replies but if you worked your pleading expression then you should win.

“You say that about every single dog. That’s not a valuable point.” Bucky called you out & earned a pout from you.

“But it’s very much true.” a short pause allowed you to gather your thoughts once more. “Besides, they remind me of you.”

“Do I even wanna know?” Bucky breathed out & threw his head back to visualize how done he was with you in this moment. You, of course, were aware that it was only him teasing you.

“No, but that was, in fact, a very valuable point & speaks for getting a Corgi.” a proud smirk made its way onto your face.

“You’re lucky I love you.” his ocean blue eyes flickered between yours. You moved forward & pressed a tender kiss on his cheek. “But I’m the one choosing the name.” he decided.

“No way.” you shook your head frantically. “We’ll end up with a dog called Dog then.” you almost whined.

“You can’t stop me from giving it a nickname.” he reasoned with that famous smirk of his & you groaned because you knew he was right.

“I don’t like it.” you mumbled after a few moments.

“Alright, no dog then.” Bucky shrugged his shoulders & pretended that it did not matter anyway. But it did. And he really did like the idea of getting a dog.

“NO WAIT!” you were quick to raise your voice & stop him from turning down your plan. “Ugh, can’t we just…I don’t know, pick a cute name together?” you offered him your best puppy dog eyes because he had a hard time resisting you whenever you played that card.

“We could.” Bucky agreed but kept his response short. He waited for you to ascertain what he meant.

“But?” your voice went an octave higher at the end.

“But I’ll still call it Dog. It’s a great nickname.” Bucky praised himself.

“It’s foolish.” you commented & crossed your arms over your chest.

“Do we have a deal or not?” his head tilted to one side, waiting to watch your reaction.

“What do you think?” your eyebrows perked up. “Of course we do!”

Published (05/10/2021) by Cathy

✨MY Ko-fi PAGE✨

Tags: @bibliophilewednesday, @msmarvelsmain, @weareironmanbitches,@zestyemby, @kattenjager1, @cheraboo330 (thanks for your support <3)

[misspepita]

Analemma over the Callanish Stones via NASA https://ift.tt/5w2KV9Z

If you went outside at the same time every day and took a picture that included the Sun, how would the Sun's position change? A more visual answer to that question is an analemma, a composite image taken from the same spot at the same time over the course of a year. The featured analemma was composed from images taken every few days at noon near the village of Callanish in the Outer Hebrides in Scotland, UK. In the foreground are the Callanish Stones, a stone circle built around 2700 BC during humanity's Bronze Age. It is not known if the placement of the Callanish Stones has or had astronomical significance. The ultimate causes for the figure-8 shape of this and all analemmas are the tilt of the Earth axis and the ellipticity of the Earth's orbit around the Sun. At the solstices, the Sun will appear at the top or bottom of an analemma. The featured image was taken near the December solstice and so the Sun appears near the bottom. Equinoxes, however, correspond to analemma middle points -- not the intersection point. This coming Friday at 1:04 am (UT) -- Thursday in the Americas -- is the equinox ("equal night"), when day and night are equal over all of planet Earth. Many cultures celebrate a change of season at an equinox.

[inkandpen22]

Shared Minds and Shared Souls (1/?)

Pairing: Spike x Female!Reader

Warnings: Angst, mentions of death, swearing

Word Count: 2.9k

Story Summary: Driven by the power she posses as a witch and psychic, Y/N returns to Sunnydale to pay a visit to her family after she has a vision about Dawn. She isn’t exactly like her duty first and justice before all else cousin Buffy as Y/N follows her own rules. She offers her aid to the Scoobies during their drama with Glory. Y/N doesn’t plan to stay long until she experiences an unparalleled connection with a certain vampire from North London.

Masterlist

I never imagined myself visiting a small town like Sunnydale. I’ve lived in many places, but never California. The west coast isn’t exactly my style. For one, it’s hot. Two, the hippy-dippy happy-go-lucky attitude makes my eyes roll. Finally, Los Angeles reminds me of Celia, my cousin. Buffy, Celia, and I were inseparable as children. Dawn tried to tag-along in our make-believe games, but Buffy grew annoyed with her quickly. I haven’t been back in California in a decade for this very reason. Everything about California reminds me of a time when we were just kids. Before everything went to Hell in a hand basket. 

Blasting Green Day in front of the hospital, I park my 1967 bright red Mustang. I take a minute to collect myself before barging in. Buffy and Dawn don’t exactly know I’m coming, but there’s something I have to warn them about, something so crucial that I drove here all the way from New York. The funny part will be explaining to Buffy that I know she’s the Slayer. To her knowledge, I’m just her ordinary cousin who she hasn’t seen since we were ten. In reality, I’m a psychic witch, have been since birth. Well, I’ve been psychic since the womb, the witchy part came later. Oh, and I can’t forget seeing the dead part, I always do. That little twist comes with the psychic part. Yeah, imagine a little ten-year-old me seeing my recently deceased cousin at her funeral… fun times. It explains the whole discomfort toward California. Low-key traumatized, but all good. Any who, I should probably stop the hesitation and just head inside. 

As I stroll down the bitter cold hospital hall, I grip the leather straps of my backpack nervously. 

“Hi Buffy,” I rehearse under my breath. “You probably don’t recognize me, I’m Y/N… your cousin. It’s great to see you- God I sound so stupid!” 

I follow the signs on the wall toward the Neurology unit. Hospitals, cemeteries, funeral homes, old buildings, all great places to bump into ghosts. The things I do for family, boy do these guys owe me. 

As I turn down yet another peach colored hall- geez this place is dated- my eyes land on a familiar blonde in the waiting room at the far end. Oh great, here we go. Buffy doesn’t notice me right away, being too occupied with doting on a sleeping Dawn resting her head on her lap. I take note of the blondie boy sat beside her. I’m guessing he’s with Buffy. Good for her, a strong seven out of ten. I would rate him higher, but he’s not my type, too All-American boy-next-door. 

“Looks like I’m right on time,” I determine once I’m closer, thus making my presence known. Buffy peers up at me and her eyes widen steadily. Blondie next her looks between me and Buffy. Her surprised reaction makes him tense, I nearly assure him I’m not a threat. 

“Y/N?” She gentle shakes Dawn to wake her as she rises from her seated position. “What are you doing here?” 

“I heard about your mom… ” I explain vaguely. In truth, I saw it in a vision and a lot more beyond that, but I’ll just say my mom told me for now. 

Buffy makes long strides and warmingly embraces me. I can sense the desperation in her touch. Her ora is all out of wack. I could see the mess her colors are from yards away. It seems like I did really arrive at the perfect time. Buffy needs me now more than ever. 

“Y/N!” Dawn gasps behind us. 

Buffy and I part, her eyes stare into mine pleadingly. Yeah, we really need to have a chat. Preferably somewhere we can be frank, truly frank, no bullshit like I’m spilling right now. 

“Oh my God!” Dawn squeals, rushing down to greet me.  She squeezes me like a stress ball as she rambles on about how much she’s missed me. Then, Dawn starts to ask the tough questions as usually does. The girl has never quite had a filter. “Where have you been?”

“New York mainly,” I laugh. 

“How come you’ve never come to see us before?” She rushes out as Buffy continues to stare at me in awe. It could be she thinks she’s dreaming this. 

“Dawn, I-” 

She cuts me off, “how’s aunt Lolly? Are you college? When did you get in?”

“Dawnie!” I laugh, “I will answer all your questions, promise. We’ll catch up! For now,” I look at Buffy. “I need to have a chat with your sister…” 

The girl scoffs, rolling her eyes dramatically as she crosses her arms over her chest. “Of course, you’re for Buffy… everyone is always here for her. No ever visit me,” she grumbles. 

“I’m here for you too,” I assure Dawn. “I just… it’s important I speak with Buffy right now. It’s about something-” 

“I’m sorry, but who are you?” Blondie interrupts, his face covered with confusion. 

“I’m Y/N,” I introduce myself. “I’m Buffy and Dawn’s cousin.” 

“I’m Riley, the boyfriend,” he offers me his hand. 

Wow, quite the introduction. I’m not much of a contact-person, but this seems like the perfect opportunity to gather information on G.I. Joe. As I shake his hand, I’m able to visualize memories and emotions from him. They come as flashes before my eyes. I hear his thoughts, see through his eyes, and feel what he’s felt. All I see Buffy, moments they’ve had. At first, pleasure and immense happiness consumes my head. Then, it’s replaced with doubt and self-deprecation. The obsession with Buffy is replaced with desperate longing. He feels her slipping. 

My visual is cut-off when Riley removes his hand. I’m brought back to current moment, surrounded by chaos of the hospital. 

Dawn frowns, curiosity etched across her features. “What’s so important that you had to come all the way? Does it have to do with Mom?”

“You came all the way from New York?” A male voice questions behind me. 

What is this an interrogation? The sooner someone tells me where Buffy is the sooner I can head back home. Believe me, I don’t want to be here longer than I have to be. I glance over my shoulder, Willow and Xander stare at me in confusion. We’ve never met, but I know of them, the visions. I’ve been keeping tabs on Buffy and the family since… well… since Buffy became the Slayer. 

“Yes,” I answer Xander directly. Turning back to Buffy, I not so discretely tell her it’s urgent. “Please, Buff, do you have minute? I know this isn’t exactly opportune but-” 

“Of course,” she swallows hard. “We can uh… we can talk outside. There’s a courtyard just over there,” she gestures down the hall. 

“I’m coming with,” Riley declares next to her. 

“I’m sorry, is your name Buffy?” I sass, much to his frustration. “What am I going to do her? She’s my cousin. I’m only borrowing her for a second, then you can toss the leash back on her.” 

“Y/N…” Buffy mutters for me to stop. 

Riley narrows his eyes at me- oof, I’m real scared now! While I giggle at her boyfriend’s expense as the two of us start down the hall. I’ve missed Buffy, we used to be like two peas in-a-pod. Once all this drama I’ve seen in her future is over, perhaps we can be close again. I refuse to settle in Sunnydale though. At least we have phones and email. 

Once outside, and we’re certain we’re alone, Buffy cuts to the chase. “Not that I’m not happy you’re here, Y/N, I am but, why are you here?” She hasn’t changed a bit.

I snicker, peering up at the sky as the sun it starting to set. Gosh, I hate the day. That sounds weird because what human hates daytime, but I do. I’m much more… in tune with myself when it’s night time. I thrive off the moonlight and stars. The sun and its rays are hot, too hot. I like the cold and darkness of night. 

“Fine, let’s get right to it,” I smirk at my cousin wickedly. Reaching into my back pocket, I pull out my pack of cigarettes, feeling a bit anxious. “You mind?” I ask her, not really caring but figure I should check. 

Timidly, she shakes her head. Her arms are securely crossed in front of her as she watches me take a smoke. “Those things will kill you,” she advices the cookie-cutter phrase. 

“So can a car accident, yet we still drive,” I remark with sass. “What’s life without a little risk?” I wink. 

Buffy shifts on her feet as her jaw clenches. Her aura is shifting again, Black to red, I’ve never seen someone change on a dime so fast. That’s change is funny, she’s either angry or afraid of me, maybe both. I can’t blame her, I’m not exactly a Care Bear. My black and red attire doesn’t scream comforting. 

“Then again, you would know all about death, right Cuz?” I suggest subtly. 

Her eyes lock with mine and I start to see the wheels turning her head. ‘Does she know? How could she?’ She’s likely thinking to herself. One touch and I could hear for certain what she’s thinking. 

“What are you talking about?” She mumbles, barely meeting my eye. 

I scoff, tossing my head back, why can’t this be easier? You know what, fine! Growing impatient, I hold my hand out, palm to the sky. “Light,” I verbalize and within seconds a bright orb floats above my palm. 

Buffy stares at my magic stunned. Yeah, I was sort of expecting that kind of reaction. 

“How… How…” She stutters. 

“If you’d like a mini bolt of lighting I can do that too,” I offer. “I kind of prefer them, far more powerful!” 

She doesn’t share in my excitement as she slowly steps closer still in awe. “You’re a witch?” 

“Yep!” I smile, rather proud. “Have been for a while now, gotten pretty good at it too, not to brag or anything…” 

“So…” Buffy continues to process everything. “You know about demons, vampires-” 

I hum, “all of it. Including that you’re the Slayer, congrats by the way! Fun shit,” I compliment with a snicker. 

“Not exactly how I’d describe it,” she mutters defeatedly, her eyes still on the orb. 

Closing my fist, the orb disappears and I place my hand on Buffy’s shoulder. Her eyes meet mine solemnly. 

“How long have you known?” She asks unfazed. 

“Since forever,” I answer truthfully. “Sorry I never called or have come to help. I’ve sort of been cheering for ya from the sidelines. In all honesty, I’ve been away perfecting my magic with a coven. I’ve met some pretty interesting people along the way, all dazzled when they find out I’m related to the Slayer,” I gush. 

She pays no mind to my compliments, still in a daze. “Does anyone know? Does your dad?” 

I shake my head and sternly tell her, “he can never know! He thinks I’ve been away at school in Boston. In truth, I’ve been in New York with a coven.” 

Buffy nods in understanding, though I know Joyce is aware of the supernatural world. My mom could never handle it. “Did you come all the way here to tell me that?” 

Okay, here’s the hard part, the real hard part! I finish my cigarette, pondering the last relaxing bit of it before tossing it to the ground. “Okay, so here’s the deal,” I begin. “There’s a this big nasty bitch I’ve seen in my visions- I see visions by the way-” I add in passing, having forgotten it. Then, I remember I can’t forget the ghosties bit. “Anyway, you’ve already bumped into her, Glory. Yeah, she’s a real charmer from what I can see. I’m here to help because based on my visions, she’s kicking your asses.” 

I leave out a crucial bit of information, a part of the visions I’m not sure I can share. One important thing about being a psychic is not changing fate. As much as I want to tell Buffy everything, I know I can’t, not if I don’t want to mess with the world. 

“So, you’re here to help us stop Glory?” She clarifies. 

“It gets real fucked at some points,” I tell her, hoping that doesn’t reveal too much. 

“And I take it you know about Dawn…” she insinuates. 

I nod my head slowly, “you mean that she’s The Key? Then yes, I do. She’s about as human as the Teletubbies, but of course I won’t mention that to her. Who all knows?” 

“As of right now, me and Giles. He’s my Watcher,” she explains. “Did you already know that?” She’s catches on quickly. 

“Kinda…” I answer hesitantly. “Sorry if that’s weird. I’ve tried not to pry with my visions. If it makes you feel better, I didn’t know who Riley was! He mustn’t have been around the last time I checked in!” 

“When was the last time you… ya know… checked in?” She asks, unsure of how to phrase it. 

“Well, I’ve been away with the coven. I joined them right after high school, so I suppose it was when you started at UC Sunnydale. I know all about Willow and Xander, they seem nice from what I’ve seen. Angel, his in-and-out appearance in my visions was confusing for a while until I realized he was doing that in real life too,” I laugh.

“So you saw all of the Spike drama and my mom finding out about me too?” She asks. 

I frown, I saw Joyce learning about Buffy and that whole conversion, but I’ve never heard of a Spike. Based on my expression, Buffy predicts the answer. 

“Spike is the biggest pain in my ass,” she groans. “He and Angel used to be all vampy together. Then, Angel gained a soul and Spike got worse from what I’ve gathered. He’s killed two Slayers, so we’re not exactly friends. We met when he tried to kill me. He’ll show up and leave again, kinda like Angel but less helpful. Except now, he’s acting all infatuated with me and sticking around.” 

I snicker, “oof, so you have a psychotic vampire lusting after you? How did I miss this?!” 

Buffy rolls her eyes, “believe me, it’s not fun.”  

“Is he hot?” I inquire, always interested in a troubled bad-boy type. 

She stares at me with narrowed eyes of disapproval and scoffs, “oh my God… never ask me that again.” 

 “He must’ve showed up and gone between visions,” I determine. “I wasn’t able to check in much after you started at UC. Which reminds me, your roommate Kathy- not a fan of her,” I confess with a bit of humor. 

“Turned out to be a demon,” Buffy explains, much to my surprise. 

I gasp, “no way! Ugh, I saw you move-in, some interactions here and there, but that’s about it. I knew there was something up with her!” 

Buffy laughs, actually smiling for the first time since our reunion. It feels great having someone know I’m a witch who isn’t a witch themselves. Being away in New York with the coven was great and utterly freeing. They were the first people who I showed my true self to. Now, finally, someone I care about knows the real me. I have so much more to share with her! 

Buffy takes my hand gently, “I’m really glad you’re here. Lately… lately things have been more difficult than I could’ve ever imagined,” she confesses, swallowing back her tears and looks at the ground. “With Mom and protecting Dawn, I’m not sure I can do it all on my own. I mean, I have my friends, Giles, and Riley but…” she meets my gaze, tears puddling in her eyes. “I needed you, I just didn’t quite know it. I needed my other sister,” she weeps. 

Immediately, I pull Buffy into my chest and hug her tightly. I should’ve come sooner. I should’ve felt Buffy’s pain. I guess I was so caught up with the coven and I forgot to check on her, so I missed the signs. I’m here now, that’s all that matters. Now, I can help. Seeing Buffy so upset makes my blood boil. Anyone who fucks with my family gets knocked off this planet, which means Glory has another coming at her in the form of a powerful witch. 

__________________________

Masterlist 

[lightsinthedistancee]

On Your Skin : Poe Dameron x Reader

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader

Words: 1.1k

Summary: “There is something so inexplicably intimate about it all. Him looking down at you with tender, hyper-concentrated eyes. You willingly resting there as his living, breathing canvas that he runs his fingers over with the utmost care.”

A calm morning between Poe and Reader after eight weeks away from each other.

A/N: So guys, I was looking through all my works the other day, and I realized that someone ends up crying in literally all but 3 of them...who knew? (And they’re all angsty in some way too). So I’ve taken a huge step—this fic is ✨happy✨!! Enjoy!

“Poe, stop!”

You giggle, sleepily rolling onto your back to get away from him. The sun is just barely peeking over the horizon as you protest, making itself known through the windows of the room. His hands had been trailing down your sides, increasingly lighter and lighter, increasingly more and more ticklish.

He smiles down at you, the sight of his warm toned skin soothing on your senses. “What, sweetheart? I can’t touch you after two months away on a mission?”

You roll your eyes at the newly formed, exaggerated pout on his lips. “You can. Just not like that.”

“Fine. As you wish,” he sighs dramatically, falling back down beside you. You make a move to rest your head on his chest, but at the last moment he shifts away, leaving you on empty sheets.

Your gaze snaps up, a glare already on your features. He looks as if he’s trying not to laugh. “What? I thought…”

“Poe,” you whine, eyes widening. Perhaps it’s cheesy, perhaps it’s purely comical, but it has the same effect on him as it always does. His expression softens.

“Maybe if you ask nicely,” he teases, dodging your grip again as you reach for him.

It’s your turn to pout now, simply saying nothing. In reality, you know he’ll give in within moments at simply the sight of you snuggled up in sheets, asking for him to be near you.

He finally laughs, scooting back closer, gently pushing you onto your stomach, tracing circles on the skin of your nearly bare back, covered only halfway with a loose camisole. You let out a sigh of contentment at the feel of his fingertips. It’d seemed like it’d been an eternity since you’d felt them in such an intimate situation.

“How was Corellia?” you ask softly, burying your head back in the pillow, letting him roam your body as he pleased. The planet was where he’d been the last eight weeks.

“Alright. Would’ve been better if you were there.”

You roll your eyes again. What makes it even more sickly sweet is the fact that you know it’s true for him.

“You know the Corellian word for flower?” he asks all of a sudden.

You raise an eyebrow at the random question, shaking your head.

He tells you, the sounds rolling off his tongue with a sweetness only he can achieve. The word sounds incredibly similar to your name.

“Reminds me of you,” said Poe, stating the obvious.

His leisurely movements abruptly cease before he pulls away. You whine at the loss of contact, but he returns in moments after grabbing something from the bedside table drawer. It’s a thin marker. You can almost see his thought process as his eyes flick from the drawing tool to the bare expanse of your back.

“Please?” He looks at you with an expression that he knows you can’t resist. You feign a moment of thought, but in reality, you’d made your choice the moment he’d pulled the marker out.

At your confirmation, you feel his hands gently helping you pull the camisole over your head, letting you get fully comfortable on your stomach.

A jolt runs through you as the cold tip of the marker makes first contact with your skin. From your position with your head to the side, you can clearly see him. He’s wearing just his boxers, legs crossed, his back bent, his face pointed down in concentration.

“What are you drawing?”

“Flowers,” he simply answers. He gives you no more details.

As the time passes in a comfortable silence, you find yourself closing your eyes, attuning to your sense of touch more than you had in a long time. You feel the tip of the marker, the brief coldness of the ink when it first goes on—perhaps the trace of a petal, a leaf, a thorn.

But most of all, you feel him. The soft side of his hand with each sweeping stroke. The rough, calloused pad of his thumb as he quickly brushes away a mistake before it fully dries.

There is something so inexplicably intimate about it all.

Him looking down at you with tender, hyper-concentrated eyes.

You willingly resting there as his living, breathing canvas that he puts his soul into.

It is comforting to the point that you almost doze off as he works, slowly becoming more and more unaware of his movements, of his eyes darting back and forth between your skin and a reference on his holopad.

“Sleepy?” You jump when his voice breaks the silence.

You nod, blinking slowly as your eyes lock on him.

He chuckles at your reaction, bending over to press a kiss to the base of your neck.

“Rest—,” he tells you. “—just don’t move.”

You giggle, allowing your eyelids to close over, allowing your sight to be enveloped in darkness.

The minutes on the clock tick past with an uncanny speed for the both of you. Luckily, it is a day off, and the air is relaxed, free of the anxiety that could come on certain days.

It is just you and him, in a quiet room, softly lit by light just barely penetrating the thin curtains. The tip of the marker begins to skip around your back, and it is almost like a game as you non-visually detect his movements with a trained sensitivity, trying to place where the nib of ink would make contact next.

His warm hands brush away a few strands of hair covering the back of your neck, and the blunt tip of the drawing utensil moves in a fluid, curvaceous movement, perhaps a vine or the edge of a leaf.

“Done,” he states, running his thumb over the delicate skin beneath your eyes to bring you back to full consciousness.

You only groan, looking up at him, expression still tired and more tranquil than ever.

He raises an eyebrow. “You don’t want to look?”

One of the last things you want to do is move, but curiosity overcomes you as you manage to drag yourself out of bed, walking to the mirror, arms across your bare chest, more so for warmth than modesty.

He follows you, resting a hand on your hip as you turn your back to the glass, tilting your head so you can see.

A smile immediately develops as your eyes roam over the intricate lines running over your skin: roses, hibiscus, hydrangeas—more exotic species that you assume he’s discovered on his numerous off-planet missions.

“You like them?” he asks. The grin he is barely holding back suggests he already knows the answer.

“The fact that you have to ask doesn’t say much about your intelligence, love.”

His jaw drops in faux offense. You laugh as you grasp his chin, pulling him down into a deep kiss. Breaking away soon after, you glance back into the mirror once again. Adoration floods your veins at the sight of the complex beauty drawn onto your skin by his own hands. “They’re beautiful.”

..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::..

A/N: Ok tbh, I had no idea where the heck this thing came from. Half of my brain was like “yeessss, artist Poe, that’s amazing!” and the other half was like, “that makes no sense, that’s the least Poe thing ever” so yeah…I don’t know. Lmk your guys’ opinion on the matter. Also, I didn’t want to add it and ruin the atmosphere but Poe’s immediate response after the last line is “Like you?” and no one can change my mind.

Taglist (for everything): @dark-academics-and-florals @theultimateslashgirl @princessxkenobi

Taglist (for Poe): @paper-n-ashes @synical-paradox @spider-starry

If you wish to be tagged on any of my future works, let me know! You can also do the form on my masterlist for specific preferences/to be tagged if that’s easier.

[okayto]

Mini-Review: Hyouka

After disenchanted student Hotaro Oreki joins his school’s Classic Lit Club to keep it from being disbanded, he meets Eru Chitanda, a kindhearted and inquisitive girl with boundless curiosity and a knack for getting him caught up in all sorts of trouble and mysteries.

I wanted a change of pace from all the comedies I’d been watching, so I took a chance on Hyouka, which Funimation describes as “a stunning masterwork that spins a charming tale of high school romance and mystery.” Mystery? Sure, sounds good!

Our first and primary character, Hotaro, isn’t a slacker, he just lives by a philosophy of energy conservation that means he tries to do as little as possible at all times: take the most direct route, find the most efficient method, whatever. At the behest of his older sister, he joins the Classic Literature Club upon entering high school, as it has no members as is therefore in danger of being disbanded. But hey, with no other members, that means he should be able to use the club room for homework and use as little energy as possible, right?

well

Turns out he’s not the only new member. Which wouldn’t be a problem (now he can leave!) except Eru Chitanda is so earnestly inquisitive about anything mildly curious and Hotaro is caught so off-guard when she asks for help that he finds himself agreeing.

Boy has a very minor crush, and was not prepared to deal with bright purple eyes looking at him beseechingly.

But since his life goal is still to do as little as possible, he’s actually gotten quite good at mentally putting things together, making connections and drawing conclusions (so he doesn’t waste energy on taking a long route, or having track people down). So he’s actually quite good at helping find answers to Eru’s questions...which means she’ll keep coming back.

Eru herself isn’t really overbearing, she’s just enthusiastic, incredibly sincere, and disarms Hotaro completely. It’s great.

While the mysteries, such as they are, form the impetus for most of the plot, the focus here are the characters and relationships. There are four club members total: Eru, Hotaro, his longtime friend Satoshi, and classmate Mayaka. 

The Classic Lit club itself does very little--they track down some information in the first few episodes, and create an anthology to sell at the school festival in a later arc--but the members find themselves drawn to mysteries that are, objectively, usually not big: trying to determine a writer’s planned-but-unwritten ending for a movie script after the writer falls ill and can’t answer questions; figuring out why the same book gets checked out by different people at the same time every week; finding a lost item; why someone reacted to a certain sound.

But Hyouka frames each of these as important and serious, because that’s how the characters themselves experience it: something that affected them emotionally, something they have to find out. It’s not just curiosity in all cases, it’s uncovering something about themselves, or feeling a duty to someone else. The weight and atmosphere we feel as viewers isn’t because we personally consider any of these topics important, but because we’re experiencing them through the lens of people who do.

The characters themselves are fun, and each have their own worries and insecurities. Several times throughout the series, we can see a character...not get taken down a peg, as that would imply they deserved it, but rather experience a normal part of life in which we all, occasionally, are forced to face the fact that our inner view of ourselves and the world does not always line up with others’, whether it be a marketing philosophy or one’s image of oneself as good at something--or viewing someone else as good or bad at something.

This familiar to all of us, or it should be (never having your views/assumptions challenged or reconsidered leads to personalities like Donald Trump), and the students in Hyouka sometimes accept the results, and sometimes it slides them into disarray.

Hotaro, for example, takes forever to admit to himself, much less anyone else, that he might be willing to put in some effort that’s not actually required? Just because he wants to? It’s a slow process, but by the end of the school year--and the series--he’s opened himself up, a little.

Eru and Mayaka both have more depth than they appear at first, more than you would assume from their easily-pigeonholed first appearances as “wide-eyed enthusiastic innocent” or “grumpy friend.” And Satoshi, my son, my favorite character--tries so hard not to get hurt, positioning himself as a friendly and enthusiastic “database” of information the others can use for deductions because if he’s that, then he doesn’t have to try at things he might fail at, and get hurt.

Verdict

English dub? Yes

Visuals: Can’t you just feel the setting sun on your face?

Don’t your eyes just want to instinctively squint a little in a sunset you’re not actually seeing?

Just for a moment, do you reach for a jacket that’s still stuffed into a closet?

Backgrounds are gorgeous, animation is fluid, and--while harder to show in gifs--a lot is shot like a film, with wide sweeping shots that serve to emphasize  a character’s loneliness or isolation, or close shots that avoid faces as characters wrestle with emotions.

Worth watching? Yes. I can see why the Funimation description is so enthusiastic. It’s a beautiful, enjoyable series. Not slice of life, but slower-paced than a lot of other shows I’m drawn to (action, fantasy, and/or comedy), but the pacing feels deliberate and doesn’t drag. It’s a great show, with 22 episodes.

Where to watch (USA, as of March 2021): Funimation (sub and dub), BR or BR/DVD combo

Click my “reviews” tag below or search “mini review” on my blog to find more!

[tttinytrash]

A prompt from the legendary Shy! I decided to go with this one first because the most ideas to fill in the framework they so kindly provided sprung to mind immediately, but expect the other two they sent along at some point soon. I took the liberty of picking Classic and Underfell Sans for the cast, but the nicknames will probably have made that clear anyhow. I tried to change it up and made the prey brave rather than the nervous wreck I often default to, so hopefully that pans out. Enjoy!

Nerds really do have more fun.

You’re not entirely sure how your socially inept self had made friends as good as these two, but your life had definitely improved exponentially after their addition to it. Red and Classic were both skeletons, but that was immaterial to your friendship with the two.

For the moment you three were tinkering away in the lab the university provided for your research. You were attempting to make a version of the monsters’ inventories that was more accessible for humans, or a TARDIS pocket as Classic had taken to calling the project. You couldn’t argue the accuracy of the comparison, though the name would sadly have to change for copyright purposes at some point. The idea was to make a pocket that was larger on the inside, thereby vastly increasing storage capabilities for the denizens of the world without magical capabilities.

Classic was at the far workbench, going over the calculations yet again while you and Red were closer to the machine actually intended to form the dimensional pockets. The burned scraps of a grocery tote bag, the cremated remains of your latest failed attempt, hung in place in the machine for now despite the machine not being active. Red was shoulders deep in the thing, checking that the soldering on the wires were holding after another failed test. You were busy removing the latest scorches from the machine’s plating when you heard the dull hum start. 

You glanced over at saw the machine had started trying to form another rift, without any kind of vessel and without any of you having activated it. Worse, two thirds of the team was not even remotely beyond the safety perimeter! You didn’t even think, you just grabbed Red by the pelvis and dragged him out of the machine. You didn’t even process what he was saying, nor his angry tone as you bundled him up bridal style and bolted from the danger zone. 

You were almost in the clear when you heard the explosion behind you and felt the searing heat on your back. Well, as least you’d gotten your more sturdy human body between your 1HP monster companion and the blast, you had time to think. 

The pain ebbed as quickly as it came and you felt like you were in freefall...

-----

Red really didn’t know what the hell had just happened. 

He’d felt the human yank him out of the maintenance hatch, and the glow and crackling of building energy he could get from over their shoulder as they ran clued him in roughly and mollified his annoyance in favor of concern. Then there was heat and he felt his body fall to the floor like a puppet with its strings cut. Classic had been far enough away from the blast to be unharmed, and therefore was free to rush over to where Red lay. 

He groaned as the unharmed skeleton arrived, not missing the other’s visual sweep of his body for injury or dust. 

“are you ok? where’s y/n?” Classic asked.

Red’s skull whipped back, not finding the human on the floor with him as he’d expected. “i-i dunno! y/n?!”

“Here...” came the weak reply. 

Both skeletons homed in on the source quickly, which was oddly Red’s chest.

A tiny human lay on Red’s sternum sprawled as if having fallen. Y/n was severely reduced in size and dazed, but awake an aware much to both skeletons’ visible relief. Red scooped the sluggish human into his hands and did a Check on them. Their HP had definitely taken a hit, but they weren’t in the red. (Heh, nickname pun.)

The trio was collectively baffled, but the relief that everyone was ok for the most part was palpable. They now had the fun task of figuring out how to reverse this change. Oh. And the machine was smoldering, so that probably should be addressed too. This to do list was quickly looking very not fun.

-----

It was agreed upon (more like accepted, really) that a shrunken human really couldn’t live on their own in a house without any adaptations for such a small person. In the long term (Delta forbid this persisted long enough to need a long term solution) adjustments to your house could be arranged. In the short term, the skeleton pair would take turns hosting their human friend at their houses. 

Classic took the first night, as he and Vanilla (his brother) had a place closer than Red and his bro, Edge. At the moment, Vanilla was out of the house at a sleepover (arranged before the incident) with Undyne. This left Classic and the human alone, and eventually watching TV together. 

You had been set up with a fluffy hand towel for a blanket and set atop a pillow. Your pillow was on the couch cushion besides Classic, who sprawled with the grace of a sack of potatoes on his corner of the couch as he watched the cheesy sci-fi flick on screen. You were both making jokes throughout the movie, but as the night drew on and the ambient temperature dropped, you found your towel wasn’t quite warm enough. 

You were waiting for a break in dialogue to ask for another towel, but Classic beat you to it. He looked over as if he were about to crack a joke at the expense of the movie again, noticed your huddled posture, and paused the movie. “you cold, kiddo?”

“Yeah, a bit. Are there any more towels I could pile on, maybe?”

“i’ll do ya one better, c’mere.” He offered a flat palm, waiting patiently for you to board.

You didn’t really have to hesitate, trusting the guy already and curiosity spurred you on as well. He gently lifted you and your towel, dumped the pillow on the floor absently, and moved to sprawl flat over the whole couch instead. This left his chest as a flat plane, on which you were gently deposited.

You sat there, surprised at the new level of contact. Sure, you three nerds had crammed yourselves onto the loveseat at your place to watch TV or game together and ended up with hips mildly wedged against each other and shoulders bumping, but that was the closest you’d ever been. To now be seated on Classic’s sternum was new territory. 

“go ahead, get comfy and lay down. i don’t mind.” he encouraged. 

You took his advice, curling on your side facing the TV, towel still tented around you. Classic increased the warmth his body offered even more by taking the liberty to partially zip his ever-present blue jacket up to the point that your body was zipped in, but your head was outside the confines of the giant garment.

“better?” he asked.

“Yeah, much warmer.” You could easily affirm. 

While this was new territory, his casual attitude towards the whole thing dissipated the awkwardness you were feeling. Without that feeling, you really found you couldn’t complain. You liked cuddling anyhow, so finding a friend was also up for that was a boon in your book. 

The movie resumed without further incident, though you may or may not have totally fallen asleep on your friend. Eh, he didn’t seem to mind.

-----

It’d been a couple of weeks since the incident at the lab, and today was Red’s day for hosting y/n. Red was playing a campaign in a very story based game, with the human watching from their perch on his shoulder while Classic lounged on the other side of the couch. Playthroughs of games like this were common with their group, and the three would usually switch off who had the controller each session with the other two chipping in and offering advice. 

The biggest difference now was that y/n couldn’t take their turn with the controller, but they seemed content to snuggle into the fluff of Red’s hood, relishing in the warmth of their position by his cervical vertebrae. Ever since becoming small, they hadn’t been able to maintain their heat as well once the sun went down.

“I think I saw something on your left.” they offered. 

Red panned the camera that way to find an enemy, which was swiftly dealt with.

“thanks, pipsqueak.” Red said as he collected the dropped loot.

“No problem. Hey, do you think you could get the bathroom door for me?”

“oh, sure.” he paused the game and crossed over to the bathroom. He gently cupped the human into his hands and gingerly set them on the floor just before the threshold. Inside there was a bathroom setup of bitty furniture, an investment that had been made early on for each of the skeletons’ houses. Once they went inside, he closed the door without catching the latch so they could push it open once they were done. 

In the meantime, he approached the couch again where he saw Classic grinning at him.

“the hell you looking at?” Red groused.

Classic chuckled “a softy.”

Red felt the light blush on his face, much to his chagrin “shut the hell up. s’not like you aint doing the same damn thing.”

“well yeah, but i don’t try to claim i’m not a softy.”

Red groaned as he flopped petulantly onto the couch. “can’t help it, they’re just so small. plus, this is all my fault anyhow.”

“woah, what?” Classic sat up straighter, humor gone from his voice. “what do you mean, your fault?”

“i was fucking with the wiring when the machine started up. it had to be something i did that caused it to go haywire and blast them. least i can do is help em out when they need it.”

Classic was about to address the mountain of guilt Red had built upon himself, but was cut off by a growl from Red’s stomach.

“you hungry?” Classic asked, though Red knew he already had the answer to that question based on the tone. 

Red buried his face in his hands, responding “no, and the human aint gonna believe the ‘i just need a snack’ lie forever. i just wanna protect them so damn bad.”

“yeah, they’re too smart for us. plus, i’ve been using the same lie.”

Red unburied his face, asking “instinct is cropping up for you too, eh?”

“yeah. especially since they get so cold at night. it went downhill fast as soon as i realized we had an easy fix.”

“tell me about it. they were so uncomfortable when they first changed, i didn’t wanna add to the discomfort by asking them about it.”

“well, the machine is back in one piece now so we can start working to reverse this mess come monday when the university lets us back in.”

“yeah, thank delta for that.”

Neither one realized that the human had heard some of their conversation from the bathroom, nor that they refused to accept their friends were apparently hiding something from them. 

The human became determined to confront this issue that very night.

-----

Classic had gone home by now and you were settled in your bed, more of a nest of towels and an electric heated blanket than a real bed. Nest was probably a better term. 

Red hadn’t come into the room yet (you slept in the same room as him so he could help you off the desk and to the bathroom if you needed to make a trip in the middle of the night) so you instead thought about what you’d overheard and what you were going to say. You’d caught only snippets due to distance, knowing something about an instinct they were both trying to hide from you, and you’d also heard “all my fault” and desperately wanted to address that if it was regarding you, which the conversation had seemed to.

Your planning was cut short when he entered, in a loose black muscle tank and flannel PJ bottoms pattered with jolly roger flags flying over a grey background. He flopped onto the bed without ceremony amongst his tangled blankets and immediately started scrolling on his phone. 

You steeled yourself a moment before calling for his attention, leaving your nest behind on the beside table to approach the skeleton closer. “Hey, Red?”

He put down his phone, looking at you with a questioning grunt.

“I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but I heard you and Classic earlier...”

Red looked mildly alarmed “what exactly did you hear?”

“Enough to know you guys are hiding things from me, and it sounded like it was about me. And something about this being ‘all your fault’?”

Red sat up leaving his face a little higher than you, and only a foot of distance from your perch to his shoulder. “yeah, well it is my fault. since i was the one tinkering, the machine had to have been fucked up by me. and now...” he gestured limply at you. “i’m gonna do my damndest to fix it, but i hate that i did this at all.”

“Cut the crap.”

Red looked as if he’d been slapped. He instantly went from hunched and quiet, reluctant to open up to you at all (probably only caving so early knowing you would keep badgering), to sitting straight up, eyes locked on you in obvious shock.

“This was an accident. No one is at fault.” you stated emphatically.

He looked ready to protest, eyebrows tilting down almost as if angry.

You cut him off again. “You never intended for this to happen. I don’t hold you responsible, or anyone else for that matter. But that doesn’t even matter. You just said you were going to fix it. That matters way more than fretting over the past we can’t change. No more self pity. Not allowed. Got it, mister?” You wagged a finger at him, refusing to be the one to break eye contact.

Red’s expression had mollified during your response, and he was the one who lost the game of eye contact chicken when he changed focus onto his folded hands in his lap. “forgot how much spunk you have, looks like the size change didn’t touch that.” he laughed a little.

“You mean you forgot what made us become friends in the first place? I’m hurt, Red.” You feigned pain, placing your hands over your heart.

His laugh was stronger this time “sorry, pipsqueak. won’t make that mistake again.” He ruffled your hair with a two fingers, which got you laughing too as you batted his invading phalanges away.

“you win. i’ll try to focus on fixing, not shitting on myself. fair deal?”

“Sounds good to me, bud.”

You two lapsed into silence.

You felt accomplished, but only half of your mystery had been solved. you decided to risk it and push farther. You’d back off if he resisted though, as you knew opening up at all was asking a lot of your somewhat emotionally constipated friend. “So... what was the instinct you two kept referring to?”

“damn, you’re relentless tonight!” he laughed again, flopping back onto his pillow.

“Well it’s got my two best friends in a twist over it, I wanna know what the hell is going on!” you defend, happy to keep up the more teasing tone.

“fine, fine. but you asked for it.”

“Yeah, yeah, lay it on me!”

He barked a laugh, “alright, pipsqueak. there’s a protective instinct that can rear up among monsters who’re less flesh based. it’s been triggered by your small size and our desire to help, but basically we wanna take you in.”

“Ya lost me right at the end, there.”

“figured i would. skeletons, and some other races of monsters, have the ability to take other creatures inside their own body harmlessly. more specifically, it’d be me and classic fighting the urge to eat you, but safely.”

“Safely.... eat?” The humor left your tone completely.

The humor was gone in his too, saying “yeah, that’s why we didn’t say anything. that reaction right there. but yes, basically eat minus the chewing bit. it’s safe and you’d be let out later, but the idea is to put us between you and danger. pretty damn literally. but a fleshbag like you wouldn’t be a fan and we both knew that going in. now ya know.” he looked away again, not so much looking at anything but apparently not wanting to look at you.

You thought back to all the times you’d caught either of them trying to sneak stomach growls past you or how oddly often they’d been claiming they’d needed a snack, or even that one time Red had tried (and failed) to play off getting caught wiping drool away. It all clicked into place and made so much more sense. But far more importantly, you didn’t like the resigned tone in his voice. 

You took a moment to process the new information in stifling silence, then asked “So... you thought I wouldn’t trust you?”

“what?” Red’s skull whipped around to fix you with a baffled look. “that’s not even close to what i said. i just meant it’d be pretty fuckin’ weird to you.”

“Yeah, well I went and made friends with two monsters after having shit luck with humans. I’d say I’m pretty open to new and weird.”

Red just blinked at you.

“If you want to, I’m unopposed. Go for it. You said it was triggered by a desire to help, and that it was safe. I trust you.”

Red’s brows were knit, sockets squinted a bit at you as he sat up. He stared you down like that, feeling like he was looking for the “gotcha” or any fear. You stared right back with nothing to hide, you weren’t afraid and didn’t want to take back what you’d said.

“yer sure?” he asked, sounding suspicious. 

“Yep.” You popped the P for emphasis.

“alright. i’ll let you out when you change your mind.” he shrugged, holding a hand out for you to board. 

You took that comment as a challenge and sat on his metacarpals confidently.

He brought you up toward his face while his free hand reached up from behind you, wrapping around your ribs under the arms. Using the new grip, he lifted you over his upturned face with your bare feet dangling in thin air over his opening mouth.

Ok, maybe your confidence had left a little. Your legs tucked up a bit in instinct, but you didn’t struggle when he guided your lower limbs into his mouth. You fought the urge to cringe away at the odd slick feeling of your feet sliding along his thick red tongue, or even more so at the feeling of his throat around your lower legs. 

You still trusted Red, that wasn’t the issue, so you decided to fight your instincts just as your friends had been fighting theirs and refused to show any fear. 

You pulled your arms in close to your chest when his grasping fingers left, and looked upwards as the world was sealed off by a wall of sharp teeth. Thankfully Red didn’t leave you waiting long, as a wet gulping sound drew your upper legs down with a surprisingly strong force. You clenched your teeth at that, barely keeping in the yelp of surprise. Another two gulps followed in quick succession, drawing your whole body into his waiting throat. The tissue around you pressed in, pushing you ever downward. 

For a brief moment during your decent, you felt a warm tingling sensation akin to the light buzz you felt the few times you’d come into contact with a magical construct (Red had lobbed a bone attack at you when you’d be particularly snarky a time or two, usually blue so you didn’t get hurt.) This tingle was much stronger, and you couldn’t describe it any better than saying it felt like Red. ...was that his soul? 

Your musing was cut off shortly after the buzz of magic left and you found yourself kicking a little in surprise when your legs had room to move. The rest of you spilled into the open space a moment later. 

You felt a bit dazed as you just sat there a moment. You were somewhat pulled back down to earth as you felt a pressure coming from outside. It was immediately obvious the pressure was his hand pressing in at you, and the hand started moving, rubbing you from outside in soothing circles, slowly moving up and down your back. Even if you were out of it, you had the wherewithal to realize that was incredibly cute. 

“alright, buyer’s remorse set in?” he asked.

“No...” you breathed, not quite done processing your current situation.

“you ok in there?” his tone was more concerned, the rubbing stopped but the pressure of his hand remained.

“Y-yeah!” You shook your head as if that would help clear the fog, clicking back into reality. “I’m ok. Wow, this is just... a lot.”

“sure you don’t want out?”

“Do you want me out?”

“...didn’t say that...” he mumbled.

You laughed, which earned you a half hearted growl.

“Hey, is it ok if I move around a little? I really want to, uh, check the place out now that I’m here if that’s cool.”

“oh, sure. i don’t care.”

He removed his hand, which left you free to experiment. Call it childish if you wanted, but you really wanted to feel out your new surroundings in an exceedingly literal sense.

-----

Holy shit this went so much better than he’d ever thought it’d go. The human was inside, no panic, and their soul had settled from the anxiety he’d been feeling during their decent. Guess they’d gone and proven him and Classic wrong. Again. Maybe he should expect that by now.

For now he laid back, feeling them slide back to the new lowest point as he got comfortable. He also very much heard their tiny squeak when they startled at the movement, which brought out a smile on him. He felt them quickly readjust, then felt a small point of pressure pushing outwards. A tiny moving bump raised in his shirt, showing where their small hands were pushing out. He didn’t protest, finding this all quite amusing.

On a whim, he used two fingers to push at that little raised bump. He heard them laugh, and then the bump showed up on a new spot, disappeared, and showed up again in yet another. This was a bizarre version of whack a mole, but he did play along until they ended the game with a breathy giggle. 

They were moving again, probably trying to stand given the two distinct points of pressure. They slowly wobbled a few steps before he distinctly felt the impact of them falling over. 

He laughed aloud at the “I’m good!” they called out.

Their movements inside were calm, but distinctly curious. It was all highly endearing on top of feeling good. The quieting of the protective instinct at last was also a welcome absence, leaving him feeling comfortable and secure. He didn’t really try all that hard to stifle his subsequent yawn. 

The responding, smaller yawn from inside was a bit of a surprise.

“tired?”

“We were getting ready for bed, dingus.”

“fair point. we turning this into a sleepover or you going back to your own bed?”

There was a pause, then “Fuck it, sleepover.”

“fine by me, pipsqueak. g’night.”

“Goodnight, bonehead.”

He felt their weight settle, then relax as they slipped into sleep. He decided to follow them, hands folded over his stomach to protect the precious cargo inside.

[saladejin]

Admire | 06

Seokjin x Fem!Reader | arranged marriage!au, husband!Seokjin | Strangers to lovers, angst, self discovery, loneliness in luxury, touch starvation (eventual smut), eventual domestic fluff

Summary: You’d never needed anyone else. Growing up alone, living alone, existing alone. It all came naturally and effortlessly, quite like breathing. That was until your somewhat distant parents finally decided it was time to make good on a promise. One they’d made before you were even born.

Warnings: There’s only one bed - but nothing too saucy lol, touching

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N: Just a mixture of fluff and angst for you guys hehe

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When you came out of the tiny bathroom that night, the lights were already off, and all you could see was the mounded shape of Seokjin underneath the bedcovers. He must have been pretty tired, as he’d been the one with the most hours of driving under his belt so far. You stood and appreciated the way the lamps from outside cast tiny slivers of light across the surface of the duvet.

You climbed in, wishing that the bed was a lot bigger so that you didn’t have to feel or sense his presence anywhere near you, the idea of little proximity making your knees weak … also considering his lack of shirt.

You wanted to be close to him, to feel his skin against yours, to hear the way he inhaled and exhaled small puffs of air as he slept, or even just the sound of his gentle heartbeat. Having that sense of closeness would make you feel so incredibly relaxed. You didn’t know how badly you craved it until now, and you didn’t know why that was.

Then he was turning over, and it was slow enough to make you panic, but not slow enough to give you the time to inch further away or turn yourself around. You were face to face with him, and his cursed eyes as they took in your slightly parted lips frozen from fear. 

Why is he even awake?

He didn’t say a word, just blinked and waited for your tensed up muscles to loosen. As you sighed and ran a hand through your hair in frustration, he lifted one corner of his lips ever so slightly into a knowing smirk.

“You scared me, idiot,” you whined in a low tone, turning to face him again but keeping your eyes fixated to a point above his face. You couldn’t really bear the shame of looking into his amused gaze again. In truth, it didn’t seem like he wasn’t amused but rather just as curious as ever.

“Why can’t you sleep?” he wondered aloud with a certain rasp to his tone that you found much too attractive. A loud part of you wanted to ask him to just keep talking, not even caring what or who he talked about. You only realised then that you’d brought a finger up to start tracing the outlines of his shoulders leading into his collarbone, the feeling of his lean muscle putting your mind at ease for some strange reason.

“Physical contact, right?” he then said almost to himself.

Your finger stopped in its tracks and you lifted your eyes to his in confusion. You must have been way too tired to even form rational thoughts. Had you seriously just been touching his bare skin without hesitation?

“What?” was the only thing you could blurt out in your state of conflict.

He didn’t answer, but your shock was soon replaced by a tingling warmth when you felt one of his hands grazing the exposed skin of your waist, precisely where your shirt had ridden up the most. The way you shivered and sighed at the contact was too immediate to be considered normal, and you heard the way he softly inhaled at the reaction.

“You never really mention how badly you need it. I can barely understand it, or you,” he commented calmly.

“Your needs are different from mine. How can you understand something if you’ve never had to think about it? When you’ve never yearned for it so much that you almost lose your mind every time someone looks at you?” you said with a tinge of shame flaring immediately after the quiet outburst. You were too vulnerable, too much like an open book for him to read.

He seemed to be trying to keep his emotions concealed, but it was obvious how intrigued he was to watch your inner turmoil. He continued to run his hand downwards and then followed the slope of your hip back up towards your goose-bumped shoulders.

You were so happy to finally receive the touch and attention you wanted that you couldn’t help but shift closer to him. You heard a tiny murmur of disbelief rumble deep in his throat, but ignored it. You only moved to press your colder hand to his chest and run it upwards, and eventually burrowed your face deep into the crook of his neck. He was so warm, and it made you feel so unbelievably secure. You surrounded yourself with the scent of him and let out a large unbridled sigh of relief.

The wide hand that had stilled on your back from the shock began to move again. He gently brought your figure further into his and let his deft fingers continue tracing patterns onto your back over the fabric of the shirt.

“Since the wedding, I’ve made sure to keep my distance because I was sure we’d be out of this almost as soon as it started. I’ve always been reserved to people in my life and that hasn’t changed,” he said so quietly that you would’ve missed it if you hadn’t been so close to him.

“So, I don’t get what you’re seeing in me now really. I know you better than to think you’re seeing me as a simple warm body, it’s much deeper than that. Why do you feel the sudden change in attitude, after all this time?” Seokjin murmured. It was questionably the longest time you’d heard his voice speak in succession.

“I guess I just wanted to be this close to someone for once,” you whispered with a sad smile. “It’s like that one time we were dancing but a zillion times worse. Since the start, I’ve battled with loneliness and thought of myself as self-sufficient and independent, but for some reason it’s all suddenly changing, and I don’t really know how to feel.”

Right then was when you’d let your walls crumble into a dusty pile of bricks and stone. You were so exposed; you may as well have been sitting stark naked in front of the man. All your insecurities were laid out on the slab for him to see … One. By. One.

You continued in a breathy voice, one beat away from breaking. “It has nothing to do with how you’re not the warmest or most companionable husband out there. That didn’t matter to me before, and it sure as hell doesn’t matter now. Think of the life I’ve lived…”

It was silent for a few moments as you let him mull over his thoughts. The rhythmic sound of his relaxed breathing soothed you into your next words.

“A partner. That is what you are to me, and that means you’re kind of irreplaceable since I’ve never had one before. It doesn’t matter if you’re distant, or cold, or even confusing at times because at the end of the day we only have each other to come home to. And if you’ll indulge me sometimes, I’d like to see you as the rock that keeps me grounded. The one common denominator reminding me that I’m not alone in that big, empty house.”

You paused, not knowing if you should continue due to the lack of response. When he seemed to still be running it over in his head, your sudden spark of confidence fizzled and almost died out completely.

“I’m probably the most selfish person for this, but to put it simply I’m using you as a security blanket. Wrapping myself up in the familiarity just to feel safe. Because you always just seem to have it together whenever I’m the one breaking down.”

He was just starting to open up to me as well, yet here I am scaring him away like a madwoman.

“That’s why you wanted to stick with me since the beginning, right?” he spoke surprisingly after a few heavy moments. “At all those first parties and balls you had no idea of what you were doing, so you asked to stay beside me because you were the outsider and I was the one stranger out of all of them that you just happened to know a little more.”

he mused, cast into a thoughtful sense of amazement. “I saw that you were scared, but didn’t know that you felt that way back then.”

You couldn’t help but shift your gaze upwards to garner any kind of visual reaction from Seokjin. When you only found his eyes looking down at you with a profound look of shining sympathy, you blinked away the tears pricking at the corners of your own and buried your face deep into the space between his neck and shoulder. He was a like refuge, and you were only hiding from your own disgrace.

The sound of his deep even breathing was lulling you into a sleepiness so strong that you could feel your lashes kissing your cheekbones every few seconds. Your chest was positively alight with a burning bittersweet combination of happiness and regret.

He was holding you close, giving in to your cry for help even though your past self would have never believed it.

~

Days passed, and ultimately so did your roadside adventure.

The last night was proving to be an absolute delight, with the whole group sharing toasted marshmallows on large twigs around a crackling campfire. The vehicles were parked around you, casting long looming shadows along the grass while you all reminisced about your healthy time spent away from work and life in general.

For you, the highlights had definitely been the beach. Feeling the sun-kissed sand underneath your toes and listening to the sounds of rolling ocean waves had almost put you in a trance of sorts, a serenity you could barely describe. Other memories were things such as shopping in the old town stores, dining on the most nostalgic meals, spending the summery nights gathering with family members and catching up on your busy lives.

These were all just some of your favourite moments spent on the trip, but they couldn’t compare to the ones you had experienced with Seokjin. Even now, as you sat near the campfire surrounded by the busy ramblings of your real family, his magnetic field of a presence drew you in.

There he sat next to your grandfather; three fingers pressed firmly to the strings of an acoustic guitar while the older greying man showed him how to strum out the chord. You felt your heart squeeze when Seokjin smiled lightly and took over from the elderly man. He began playing the instrument shyly, fingers still shaky from inexperience but getting the hang of skill as if it were something as simple as breathing.

“(Y/n).” His steady voice broke into your thoughts like a freight train. You brought yourself back into focus to see him tapping the tightened strings of the guitar gently. The warm orange glow of the nearby fire flickering its own cadence of hues onto his flawless features.

“I’m getting one of these when we get home.”

Everything within you stuttered at his matter-of-factly statement, and for some reason the smile plastered on your face began to falter.

‘When we get home.’

Why did these simple words cause your bottom lip to quiver ever so slightly, or your eyes to brim with unbidden salty tears? You couldn’t even pick apart the emotions within you to decipher whether they were ones of happiness or sadness. Everything was a jumble.

“Sorry,” you excused yourself before placing your stick covered in gooey marshmallow remnants on the flat log below. Nobody really took notice as you made your way briskly towards your motorhome, face tingling with pent up feelings and mind a whirring mess.

I’m happy, and surprisingly enough, that’s a bad thing.

You let the motorhome door click shut and threw yourself onto the soft pillowy bed face-first.

I’m happy on this trip, but that isn’t the problem. I’m happy with him…

A lonely tear of frustration escaped the confines of your willpower, trailing a warm path down your cheek in a sad descent. It soaked into the white fabric underneath.

I’m not meant to be happy with him! I’m meant to be just waiting it out until we go our separate ways. I’m meant to be disengaged, disinterested.

You gripped the bedcovers harshly, knowing that your own foolish need for his touch had gotten you into this chaotic disarray. You were so happy to know that he wasn’t an asshole, that he wasn’t some douchebag who had his head stuck up his own ass. You were ecstatic to find out that the man you’d been condemned to marry just wasn’t the whiny juvenile brat you’d expected.

“But why would everything be easier if he was?” you whimpered to yourself.

Then the door was being pulled open and the sounds of the chirping crickets flooded into the van, all the way to your throbbing ears.

“Hey, what’re you doing?”

Hearing Seokjin’s voice after mentally recalling every aspect about him you admired only twisted the knife deeper into your gut. You knew you should have pretended to be tired and needing sleep, but under his watchful eye it just wasn’t going to happen. Slowly, you sat up and combed the flowing hair out of your face with firm unforgiving fingers.  

At the sight of your tear-stained skin and blotchy eyes, Seokjin’s gaze softened and he exhaled loudly before making his way over. You were so upset at yourself for letting things happen the way they had, but this time you didn’t hide your emotions away out of courtesy.

“I’m sorry Seokjin.” You cleared your throat and sniffed. “I’m sorry for letting myself believe... I’ve gotten so used to fooling other people about us that I forgot to exclude myself. So, I’ve been fooled.”

By now the tears were gone, and the only evidence remaining of your explosive breakdown was the hoarse edge to your voice. You knew he probably wouldn’t understand the confession, and it wouldn’t hurt his feelings. You were the only one dumb enough to pull the veil back over your eyes. The veil convincing everyone watching that you were in love, and in turn seeing it all through the same shroud.

You couldn’t lie to yourself anymore. You were in love with him. 

Copyright © 2020 by salade. All rights reserved.

[cinephilediary]

A Memory

by: Kila Gallo

Sitting on a soft minimalist chair with a backrest, sipping on an iced white mocha-caramel coffee with some tiramisu on the side of the table, tied my long soft ash-brown-balayage hair in a clean bun with some baby hair strands on the side. Instead of the country side music, I prefer to listen and notice the loud breeze outside, while people come and go as they receive their cup of coffee. I am just here, silently typing on my keyboard, specs on, looking at my laptop’s screen; doing some work related stuff. Its been five years now, and I couldn’t help but wonder if… if I could see you or even just have the opportunity to glance at you, here, again.

“I’m going to school now Mom, bye!” I kissed on her cheek then walked through my way out of the house, still biting a piece of bread. It is 7:00 in the morning and I have to hurry for my first class. Dad is now waiting for me inside the black sedan car together with my little brother to drive us to school. Oh! I haven’t introduced myself yet, my name is Shi Gutierrez, a typical grade nine student.

“Shi! Faster! Mrs. Data is almost here!” Hazel shouted at me when she’s on the second floor and I am still at the school grounds. By that time, I started running upstairs in order for me not to get late and receive a punishment. Our school is definitely strict in terms of time thus I really have to run. I catch my breath as I sit down on my chair, I gasp and sigh heavily knowing that there's still no teacher yet, and fortunately, after minutes, Mrs. Data, our English teacher, entered the room and announced something that would be the start of something. “Good morning class! Since this week is the start of the English Month Celebration, I am tasking you to execute a stage play of the novel, Romeo and Juliet” she smiled angelically. Everyone were shocked that only our Class president answered, “When is it ma’am?”

“In the coming month, I still have no idea for the final and exact date but be ready! Any questions?” the room filled with silence. 

“Okay class, I want you to prepare for it because this is going to be a competition! Anyway, we will not have our classes starting today. I want you to focus on the preparation for your stage play! I am expecting so much from you since you are the first section, okay? See you!”

After leaving, the room was filled with noise of excitements. Then, my group of friends started teasing me to be part of the stage play because they knew I had some experiences. Time flies so fast, I, and my girl group of friends are now about to go to the school canteen to buy our lunch. We are seven girls in total and our classmates often call us as “girl group” because we would always gather to stick together and talks too loud. In the group, I am the one whose not easy to read, sometimes I would go silent and there are days wherein I would start the noise. People would always described me as a “social butterfly” and I kind of agree to the thought of it because I kind of know everyone here in our school, down from the school helpers, school guards to the higher positions. When we went back to our room, holding our drinks, everyone is occupied with their own businesses. Then without any hesitations, our class president stood up in front of the class, calling everyone’s attention. He discussed the agenda of finding who are the people who will act to be the characters of the play. While I am listening, the girls still pushes me to join, it was all fun until he, Mr. Class President looked directly at my way.

“Oh Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?” Yes, they appointed me to act as Juliet in the coming English month stage play competition. I did not even had the opportunity to decline because no one wants to do it either. We are now at the school grounds, amid the scorching sun, rehearsing our lines in our coming play. I already have prepared my costumes, props and other needed stuff. Everyone is participating since this is a whole-section project, thus, those who are not assigned as an actor or actresses are tasked for the making of props, backdrops, costumes, music and other tasks. By the way, the man who will act as the Romeo in our section, is our class president.

Everyone is currently occupied with their own tasks that keeps them bustle. I am at the backstage, fully prepared, wearing my first attire for the first act, a long beautiful dress, my hair is curled tied in a high bun. This is the day we have long prepared for.

“My only love sprung from my only hate. Too early seen unknown, and known too late!”

 After our section’s performance, our director told us to stay and watch the presentation of other sections. I was definitely excited to watch, to see the other perspectives of the play but when the third section finished, I asked my girl group to accompany me to the restroom to change because I don’t feel comfortable with my costume anymore. But, when we are approaching the door to go inside the school hallways, where the nearest restroom is located, my friends approached this boy, lone with his bag and used-props. “He’s the Romeo of the last stage play” I mumbled on myself. I know no one even heard me because when I looked at him again, he is now surrounded by the girls. They are asking him something, and when I went nearer, he looks more serious, still in his Romeo-outfit, fixing his necktie, smoothly removing his vest and folding some props made of paper to fit on his small paper bag. Then my friend, Rose started teasing him and I was in awe because I don’t know him, yet these girls act like they knew him. “Can I have that sword?”, “The flower is nice, give it to me!” they are forcing him to give them his things and I was just there watching him really give the things the girls asked to. Then, Rose looked at me, and that’s the signal that it is now my turn to ask him, “I want your necklace!” without any hesitations, I proudly told him. I don’t even know what to get and ask from him because I’m not interested with his props and the only thing I saw that is something useful, is the necklace suspended on his neck; a silver one with a small rectangular pendant looking good with his outfit. Then, he paused for a while, looking at me intently. I thought he’s going to give it to me, just like how easy it is for him to give his other belongings to the girls. But, he continued fixing his things and didn’t bother to mind me. After the deafening silence, finally, the girls forbid their goodbyes to that Romeo-boy, I don’t know what to feel, I am not ashamed of what have happened, I admit that it is weird at some point because we don���t know each other. All I really want to do is to change my clothes! “Its okay Shi, don’t be sad” Rose said when we went inside the restroom. What? “Yes Shi, maybe he was tired since he played the character of Romeo. Actually, he was really good! He’s better with our section’s Romeo!” Ann declared, then they all laughed.

Since every section made an amazing presentation during the English month stage play competition, Mrs. Data promised us to be rewarded with good and fair grades. Its been three weeks since that event happened, and now while everyone thought that it will be rest days next week, our class president together with the vice president, entered the room with some news to disseminate. “Okay listen! Next Friday there will be a Seminar Workshop in Filipino in line with the celebration of Filipino Month. Everyone must attend because this is going to be our attendance.”

“A celebration for the Filipino Month” Rose red the tarpaulin outside our school gate. It is 8:00 in the morning and we are currently waiting in line to enter the audio visual room where the event will take place. When we reached the door, our class president gave each one of us a name tag with a lanyard. He said that we are supposed to wear it the whole day. Since we are the first section, we had the opportunity to sit in front. The event started and the flow of the program went light, there are guest speakers who used to be theatre actors and now teaches Filipino subject and acting. Since it is a workshop, other guest speakers call some representative from each sections to participate. Then, lunch time came. We are about to go to the school canteen when he, our class president called me. He gave me a bottle of watermelon shake and a biscuit. “Why?” I asked him. He just stood there, smiling, wearing his eye glasses, unable to talk.

And finally, the event ended, it lasted for many hours! Its time for the photo opportunity with the guest speakers. We are the first one to take photos with them and can go home after. The section two is now ready for the photo opportunity thus I went back on my seat and started fixing my stuff, when I am ready to go, my friends ask me to wait for them. So, I sat on the arm desk of the chair, feet still on the ground, to prevent losing control and balance. I was watching the other students taking pictures with the guests until a pair of arms wrapped around my neck blocking my view, I stiffened from my position and unable to move. He move backwards after putting a necklace on me, then that's when I knew, the Romeo boy! I wasn’t able to speak, looking intently at him and he smiled. “Sorry its late”, What? What’s late? Why are you just talking to yourself be mad at him! He invaded your personal space! “And sorry for almost touching you, but I didn’t” he said in his low voice. What now? Do you hear me? “Honestly, I cant give you this” he holds his silver necklace suspended on his neck just like when I first saw him “my father gave it to me, so I bought a new one for you. Hope you like it.” Oh. Whats happening? Why I couldn’t utter any words right now. Then he smiled and turn his back on me. Leaving me in awe, unable to move nor speak. What was that? My heart beats so fast. Its a foreign feeling, something I only feel towards him.

“Hot Americano for Rald!” the counter called for the customer. Then I was stiffened from my seat. I looked down, forcefully closing my eyes, “Don’t look!” I mumbled on myself. But the heart made the final judgment, I looked at the counter, meters away from me. No one is taking the coffee. I glanced on the other direction, there, I saw him, wearing a white fitted polo that compliments his masculinity, paired with a black trousers and a pair of black leather shoes. A luster from his necklace caught my attention, it is the same necklace before. A smooth swift of the chair then he stand proudly and walked towards his way to the counter, eyes on his silver watch, looks like he need to hurry. The romantic background music from the cafe makes me lose my track, my heart keeps beating so fast, with one hand, he gently holds his cup of coffee, with no emotion on his eyes, then, he suddenly turned his gaze directly at me. I stiffened from my position, can not able to look away. Those brown eyes I used to gladly stare at, are the same pair of eyes I’ve long forgotten. He looked away. Turned his back at me and went out of the cafe. I can now barely see him. I thought he’s not going to be here today, just like the past years. Now that he glanced at me, I can tell, that he don’t recognized me. Do people really can forget someone they’ve spent years with? Do they really forget everything through the years? Maybe people really forget things and people they chose to forget. But, I hope its a different matter in my case. According to his doctor, there are high chances of obsolete lose remembrance on his case, after the heart operation. Does the heart really forgets?

Maybe,

I should come here again, 

more often.