#however the alternative was him picking her up to spend the weekend at his place...

[miniyrds]

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[pennytoffee]

The Weekend

Requested: Yes/No

Prompt: How MHA characters spend their weekends with you.

Includes: Izuku Midoriya, Shoto Todoroki, Katsuki Bakugo, Eijiro Kirishima, Hitoshi Shinso

Reader’s gender: Not implied.

Warnings: Cheesy fluff

Notes: (y/f/f) - your favourite food

Izuku Midoriya

Usually on Saturdays, Izuku likes to pick you up from your place and the two of you walk to the park. On your way there, tell him about your week at school/work. And if it wasn’t the best week, Izuku would give your hand a light squeeze.

At the park that you and Izuku go to, there’s a farmer’s market set up every other week. If it is set up that weekend, you and Izuku would probably buy some fruits or veggies. Whether that be for later that day, or sometime in the upcoming week. While you’re at the market, the two of you get a snack. Usually either ice cream or something of the sort.

You and Izuku sit down on one of the park’s many benches, hands intertwined. You lay your head on his shoulder and gently rub the scars on Izuku’s hands with your thumb. With a light breeze flowing in the wind, Izuku smiles gently.

“I love you, (y/n).” He says, looking into your (e/c) eyes.

“I love you too, Izuku.”

Shoto Todoroki

Once you and Shoto are in a comfortable stage in your relationship, the two of you go to the hospital and visit his mom. Every week, you buy her some flowers for her room. When that week’s flowers start to dry out, she presses the flowers, puts them in a scrapbook, and labels the date at the bottom of the page.

Also, sometimes (probably once every month or two) have lunch with Shoto’s siblings. It doesn’t have to be out at a fancy restaurant per se. It could just be at his house with food that Fuyumi made.

(If you’re more of a picky eater-) Before the first time that you went to Shoto’s house for lunch, he told Fuyumi your favourite food in advance.

When you walked into the Todoroki household for the first time, you were welcomed by the aroma of (y/f/f). You and Shoto took off your shoes and walked into the living room, sitting down on the couch next to each other. Shoto could tell that you were a bit nervous by how you would shift in your seat or wipe your palms on your lap every minute or two.

“What if they don’t like me?” You whisper, thinking aloud.

“Darling, you’re going to be fine,” Shoto says, turning to face you.

“What if I say the wrong thing?”

“(Y/n), look at me.” Shoto places his hand on your cheek, forcing you to bring your gaze to meet his own. “Natsuo and Fuyumi are excited to meet you in person. I’ve talked about you to them, and I can tell that they like you already. So, just be yourself. I’ll be with you the whole time. Okay?”

To say the least, you were taken aback at your boyfriend’s words. You stared into Shoto’s heterochromic eyes and nodded your head.

“O-okay.”

(Also, you and Shoto go on shopping sprees using Enji’s credit card.)

Katsuki Bakugo

On Sundays, you and Katsuki go to the grocery store and buy food for the week. Once you get back to your house/flat, he helps you meal prep. Sometimes when you’re not looking, Katsuki will slip in little notes into your lunch kit. In return, you try to sneakily do the same to him. However, you get caught pretty much every time you try to do such a thing.

So, instead of putting them in his lunch kit, you decide to hide these little notes around his house. Sometimes the notes are little lovey dovey things like, “Love you, Kats <3” However, other (most) times, it’s just random things that you think of.

“They say, “break a leg,” so that you make it in the cast.” Or alternatively, “Is the Kool-Aid Man the jar or the liquid?”. Katsuki says that he thinks the notes are stupid, but deep down he secretly loves them.

Another thing that you and Katsuki would probably do on the weekends is go out to eat. He’d probably be a fan of Indian food. But if you’re not much of a fan of spicy food, Katsuki would look up the restaurant’s menu beforehand to see if there’s anything that you’d eat.

At the end of the day, you and Katsuki would pile up in bed and watch TV together. He usually has a sleep timer on the device for like an hour/hour and a half. But if you’re in each other’s arms, you’ll be asleep in no time. And Katsuki wouldn’t have it any other way.

Eijiro Kirishima

This man loves the gym, it’s practically like a third home to him. So, Eijiro might take you along with him on Saturdays. However, if going to the gym isn’t really your thing, he’d be more than happy to stay at home with you.

If you tend to forget to take care of yourself, Eijiro will spend all day making sure that you eat right, drink water, take a shower, anything. One time, he looked up a recipe for face masks and let’s just say…they didn’t turn out the best. But he got the hang of it by the second go.

If Eijiro’s black roots start showing, you’ll run down to the store and buy hair dye for him, already knowing exactly what brand and colour name it’s under. Granted, it does get messy at times, But it’s these little things that he loves the most.

On Sunday nights, the two of you watch 90 Day Fiancée (Mina got him hooked on it a bit before you two got together.) And after the episode airs, you and Eijiro stick around for Pillow Talk (where past contestants watch/react to new episodes).

When you and Kirishima are cuddling, he definitely likes to be the big spoon most of the time because he loves the feeling of holding you in his arms. Or alternatively, if you’re watching TV, he’ll have his head in your lap. And if you start to lightly brush your finger along the bridge of his nose, Eijiro is out like a light.

“Sweet dreams, Eiji.” Looking down at his features, you thank the stars above for allowing to call someone like him your’s.

Hitoshi Shinso

Most of the time, you and Hitoshi enjoy staying in for the weekends. If you live separately, from the time Hitoshi first sees you on Friday night, ‘till early Monday morning when he has to leave, the two of you are joined at the hip.

Shinso always hates it when he has to leave because he knows that he won’t be able to spend time with you until next Friday. With the amount of paperwork he does during the day and patrolling at night, the fifty hours or so on the weekend is really the only time you see him face-to-face.

Thankfully, Shinso is moving in with you soon. All that he’s waiting on is the lease on his flat to end. But sadly, that wouldn’t be for about another four/five months.

Although you and Hitoshi do not go out often, when you do go out, it is usually to quiet places. Such as a cat cafe or a new bookstore that opened not too for from your place. Usually, on days like that, you end up going to both locations. With going to the bookstore first, then the cat cafe.

Last week, you and Hitoshi walked into the cafe hand-in-hand, with him carrying the bag from your previous errand to the bookstore. You sat down at an empty booth next to each other before a waitress gave out menus. After she left, a small black cat came and jumped into your lap, quickly finding comfort laying top of your thighs.

“Well, I think someone likes you,” Hitoshi said, lightly scratching behind the feline’s ear, causing a purr to erupt.

“He probably has a liking to you too.” You checked for a collar and found the ed ribbon with a gold charm on it. “Jinkx,” you said.

“Kind of fitting, I suppose.” Your boyfriend stated.

The waitress came back with your order and placed the items on the table.

“Thank you,” you said.

“You know…” Hitoshi looked over to you.

“Hm?” You hummed through a bit of cake.

“What if we adopted them?” He said with all seriousness in his voice. You sighed.

“I don’t know.”

“But, what if?” Hitoshi held the cat in his arms whilst looking into your eyes.

You know what he’s doing and Hitoshi is more than aware of his actions. After pondering on the thought for a minute or two, you took a deep breath.

“I’ll think about it.” You said.

“So, in other words, that’s a yes.” Hitoshi’s smile was starting to tug on his lips a bit.

That was a yes. And now, you, Hitoshi, and Jinkx are watching Beetlejuice in your bed at the apartment.

[naturallytom]

Mending a Broken Heart (Tom Holland x reader, alternative part)

a/n: me? writing? unheard of. jk im tryin to get back into the groove!! this is an alternate version to Mending a Broken Heart, so some parts are the same and some I’ve edited or added some things! hope u enjoy!! 

warnings: language, angst, mentions of cheating

please reblog/leave feedback!!

picture not mine!

You had noticed it for months. Tom has been pulling away, spending more time out with the boys than at home with you. His kisses became forced and the words ‘love you’ slowly stopped falling from his lips. 

Most days he would leave for work before you woke up and on the rare occasion you were up when he left, he would mumble a ‘goodbye’ before walking out the door. Sometimes, if you were lucky, he would press a gentle kiss to your forehead. Most times, though, he would just leave. 

You did your best to keep the love alive, you were still madly in love with him. The wedding band that sat tightly on your ring finger mocked you. A symbol of what was love has turned into one sided love. Hell, you weren’t sure if Tom wore his wedding ring anymore. 

A quick glance to his left hand would reveal that he didn’t. 

You spent your nights wondering if it was something you did. Were you too clingy when he left to film? Was he just tired of you after four years of marriage? Did he find someone else?

No. You shook your head to yourself one night as you laid in the bed by yourself, the space usually occupied by Tom cold. If he found someone else and if he cheated, that’s on him. Not on you. 

Still, the thought plagued your mind. Did he meet someone else? Was she prettier than you? Is that where he was when he said he was out with the boys? Was she able to give him something you couldn’t give him?

The door opening and shutting alerted you that Tom was home. You sighed, knowing it’d be another night of sleeping on opposite sides of the bed. 

The door to the bedroom opened and in came Tom, Tessa jumping up to greet him. 

“Hey girl, hey love, how are you, hm?” He whispered, petting Tessa as his eyes flickering over to you, who was visibly awake. “Thought you’d be asleep by now. ‘S late.” 

“Couldn’t sleep.” You replied simply. “Hey so I was thinking, we haven’t had a date night in a while, maybe you wanted to go out to see the Halloween decorations around town and get dinner tomorrow night?” 

“Can’t,” He shook his head as he got ready for bed. “Harrison wants to watch the game. Told him I’d go.” 

“Didn’t you just see Harrison tonight?” 

“Yeah, and?” 

“Nothing.” You sighed, obviously upset. “Nothing, Tom. Goodnight.” 

“Night.” He responded, turning out the light and climbing into bed, falling asleep with his back toward you. 

-

The next day, you were surprised to see Tom already awake and waiting in the kitchen, sipping on a cup of tea when you got downstairs. 

“Good morning.” You smiled softly. 

“We need to talk.” He told you. You felt your heart drop and your palms get sweaty, but you wiped them on your pajama pants in an effort to seem totally calm and not panicked. 

“A-About what?” You asked, your voice coming out shaky. 

“I think,” Tom started. “I think we should get divorced.” 

It was then, at 8:30 am that your world came crashing down. 

“W-What?” You whimpered out, your voice weaker than before. “Why?”

“I’m not happy with you anymore.” He said simply. Your eyes flickered to his left hand, noticing the absence of the golden wedding band, making your heart ache. 

“We can try couples’ therapy. We can go on dates like we used to, Tom, please! We can fight for this, Tom. Fight for us.” You cried, your heart shattering into a million tiny pieces, each one puncturing your lungs as you struggled to keep your breath under control. 

“No,” He shook his head. “My mind is made up. I’m sorry, y/n. Um, I found a lawyer at a firm, they have a lot of other lawyers there you can contact. I’ll just, uh, leave their card here.” 

“So that’s it? Three years of dating and four years of marriage down the drain?” You sobbed, holding your knees to your chest as you sat on the kitchen floor. 

“I’m sorry, y/n. Truly, I am.”

He placed the small business card on the counter, grabbing the bags you didn’t even notice, mumbling an ‘I’ll be staying with Haz,’ before walking out the front door, like he did every other day. This time, though, you had the sinking feeling he was leaving for good. 

-

It was only three weeks that your lawyer came over to meet with you, joined by Tom and his lawyer. You kept your eyes focused on the table as you signed the paperwork, wanting to get this done as soon as possible. 

As soon as everyone left, you shut the door, slid down the back of it, and cried. 

-

Nearly two months after the worst day of your life and it was time for a self care night. The ring that once sat on your left hand was buried away in your jewelry box somewhere and you were finally starting to feel free and somewhat happy again after crying yourself to sleep and wondering where it all went wrong for months. 

After the divorce you buried yourself in work, using it as a distraction from going home to an empty house. You also moved out of the house you once called home. Not only was it too painful to go home to an empty house, but it was too painful to go home to a house that held so many happy and loving memories. You took the necessities along with some things you wanted with you and set yourself up in a hotel room for the time being. You treated it as a vacation. Except only a few people knew where you were. Your family knew, along with your friends, including Harrison, on the condition he didn’t tell Tom where you were. You started making time for yourself in your little hotel room and you became happier. 

Tonight, after a long day of work, you ordered your favorite Chinese food, played your favorite songs, and ran yourself a bath with a vanilla scented bath bomb. You were enjoying a glass of wine, the hot water of the bath soothing you when the music playing from your phone was interrupted by a call coming in. 

To your surprise, it was Tom. You contemplated answering it, but instead, let it go to voicemail. However, you were curious as to why he called, though you were also 99% positive it was a pocket dial. So you played the voicemail, the familiar voice ringing throughout the bathroom. 

“Hey y/n, um, I hope you’re doing well. I just called because I wanted to tell you something. I um, I miss you. A lot. And I know I don’t get to feel that way but I do and I just wanted to tell you that and I guess ask if there was any possibility of meeting to talk? Uh, call me back if...if you want. I don’t blame you if you hate me. Bye. Love y-” 

You turned off the voicemail before the phrase could be finished. Millions of thoughts filled your mind, ranging from happy ones to ones that made your heart ache and tears fill your eyes. 

You decided to ignore it, pretend it never happened, and enjoy your self care night. 

-

When Tom pulled up to his former house with flowers in his car and a pit of nerves in his stomach, he expected to see your car in the driveway and at least one light to be on. He was greeted with an empty driveway and a dark house, which confused him. It was the weekend, so you weren’t work. Maybe you had to run an errand? 

But after 20 minutes, he gave up hope that you were home and tried to call you, which to no surprise, you didn’t pick up again. He instead called Harrison in an effort to try and find out if he knew where you were. 

“What do you want?” Harrison answered, half concentrating on what Tom was about to say and half concentrating on the game in front of him. 

“Do, uh, do you know where y/n is?” Tom asked, taking Harrison by surprise. 

“y/n?” Harrison paused the game, suddenly not able to concentrate on it. “Why d’you want to know where y/n is?”

“I just want to talk to her.” He mumbled. 

“If I knew that’s where you were going I wouldn’t have let you go.” Harrison sighed. “Listen she made me swear that I wouldn’t tell you-” 

“Please Harrison? You’ve seen how much of a mess I’ve been. I just want to see if I have a shot.” Tom begged, making his friend cave. 

“Fine but if she moves again I won’t be telling you shit.”  

-

The next day you were enjoying a cup of tea and reading your book, getting some relaxation in before your week began when a knock on the door interrupted you. Confusion filled your body, you weren’t expecting anyone to pop by. 

Looking out the peephole, you froze at the sight that greeted you. Tom was standing outside your door, a bouquet of your favorite flowers in his hands. 

“Hi.” He breathed out, his nose and the tips of his ears red from the harsh winter air. 

“How the hell did you find me?” You asked, keeping your eyes focused on the ground. 

“Harrison. I begged him to tell me.” He answered. 

“I’m gonna kill him.” You muttered. “What do you want?”

“Can..Can I come in?” He asked. 

You wanted to say no, that he could say what he wanted to say outside or just not let him speak at all. But you wanted to be courteous to the other people on your floor and part of you was curious as to what he was going to say. So you wordlessly opened the door slightly, letting him in and closing the door behind him. 

“Now what do you want?”

“Did you get my voicemail?” He responded, hope filling his eyes when you nodded. “Um, I brought these for you. I was hoping we could talk.” 

“I don’t want your flowers. Why should I talk to you? We’re divorced, just like you wanted.” Tom winced at the words. “Nothing to change.” 

“Actually, we’re not.” He corrected. “I called the office the other day. Um, it’s not official yet.” 

“Well then they should make it official. Maybe I can call them and make it happen as my very last Christmas present to you. Just what you wanted.” You snapped. 

“No, this isn’t what I want, can I speak, please?” He pleaded, his eyes resembling those of a puppy. 

“You’re speaking already.” You answered, gesturing for him to continue nonetheless. 

“I- How have you been? I stopped by the house-”

“Tom I’m not gonna listen to your small talk. Say what you have to say and leave.” You told him. His heart broke but he couldn’t blame you. 

“Um, so I thought I wasn’t happy with you but um, as time went on, I realized how much I miss having you in my life.” He began, visibly nervous. “I was just looking through our pictures and how happy you looked and I just, I guess I realized I wanted to be the one to make you that happy again.”

“You haven’t made me happy in months, Tom.” 

“I know.” His heart clenched. “I know and I’m so sorry, y/n. I really am.” 

“Was there someone else? Did you cheat on me?” You asked. 

“No, no absolutely not, y/n.” He answered before adding; “I went on a date with someone after we split up but it didn’t work out. I realized she wasn’t what I want.” 

“Of course she wasn’t.” You scoffed. 

“I want you, y/n. I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy again.” He told you, tears filling your eyes. “Is there..is there any possibility you could love me again?” 

“Again?” You seethed. “Tom I never fell out of love with you! I never stopped loving you! That was all you! You stopped loving me and you wanted this stupid fucking divorce!”

“I..I don’t think I ever stopped loving you either.” He whispered, tears falling down his rosy cheeks. “Please, y/n, if there’s even the tiniest chance..” 

“Of what, Tom? Of going right back to being married? Of you making me happy? I don’t know, Tom! I don’t know anything except that I hate you right now.” You sobbed, crying into your knees while Tom let out quiet sobs of his own, his heart clenching at the lack of wedding band on your left hand and the lack of love in your voice, but especially your eyes. Your eyes, which once held so much love and adoration for him were now full of anger and resentment. 

“Of..anything, y/n. Please, I just want a second chance to show you how much you mean to me, to make you happy again. I will do anything to save us, anything you want. And...and if it’s not working or you just really hate me, I wouldn’t blame you. Not at all.” He begged, his eyes puffy and red. 

“I tried to save us, Tom. Don’t you remember? I begged and pleaded with you to do couples therapy to go on dates when you were breaking my heart into a million tiny pieces. I begged you to try and fight for us, for our marriage, but you just walked out the god damn door!” You spit through gritted teeth. 

“I fucked up, I know. I fucked up so badly.” He cried, wiping his tears away. 

“And if leaving me wasn’t enough, you took Tessa too! I was left completely alone in that big fucking house that was haunted by you. I couldn’t stand it.” You sobbed. 

“I’m..I’m sorry, y/n. So so fucking sorry. What do you want me to do?” 

“I want...I want you to hurt. I want you to hurt the way you hurt me. I want you to know how this fucking feels.” You said, your voice getting louder with each word that fell from your lips.

Tom could only cry. This was ripping him apart, he couldn’t even imagine what the whole thing felt like to you. 

“I’m gonna need time to think, Tom.” You finally mumbled, Tom nodding in response. 

“I’ll give you all the time you need. I promise you-” 

“Don’t. Don’t promise me anything.” You spoke, your voice low. “You won’t be able to keep it. You promised you’d love me forever four years ago and look what happened.” 

“y/n pl-”

“You don’t get to do this. You-you don’t get to just waltz right back in here and ask for a second chance to fight for us when I didn’t even get a first chance. How do I know this won’t end like it did before?” 

“y/n, I swear to you, if this isn’t working out, you can leave me. I...I just want a chance to prove myself to you.” He begged. 

“God, Tom. You don’t get it! I’m not going through this again. Do you realize how much you broke me the first time? Fuck, you had a chance, Tom. And you threw it away.” You muttered quietly. 

“I regret that every day. Every god damn day.” He told you honestly.

“I don’t know, Tom.” You sighed. 

“Talk to me?” He tried, knowing you were hiding something deeper than an ‘I don’t know.’

“Don’t know what else there is to say.” You mumbled. “I don’t trust you, I-I can’t trust you. I hate you.” 

“Why’d you get a hotel room?” Tom sniffled, changing the subject. 

“I told you. I hated being in that house. Hated being surrounded by the happy pictures and memories of us.” You told him honestly. “I want to start over.” 

“What?”

“I want to start over. I can’t go back to being emotionally married to you even if we’ll still be married legally. I’m talking starting from scratch, as if we were meeting for the first time, the whole deal.” You told him. 

“That sounds perfect, y/n. Thank y-”

“Get out, Tom. Please. I just want to be alone and not with you right now. I’m still not happy with you.” 

“Okay.” He breathed out, hope filling him once again. “You won’t regret this, I promise.” 

“What did I just say about promises?” You asked tearily. 

“I know, I know. I’m determined to keep this promise, though.” He told you. 

“Fine. Whatever. Just please leave for now.” You whimpered, watching as he walked out the door, just like he did when he broke your heart. 

You decided you needed another self care night. Another bath was run, another vanilla scented bath bomb was used, more wine was consumed. 

Tom texted you right as you got out of the bath. 

Tom: hey y/n, it’s tom, just incase you don’t have my number saved anymore. I just wanted to say thank you for the second chance. I really am grateful. I hope you have a relaxing night, you deserve it. 

You rolled your eyes and tossed your phone gently on your bed, though you could feel your heart rate pick up and butterflies fill your stomach. 

-

Tom began texting you sweet little things each morning, whether it was to let you know that he’s been thinking of you or to tell you that he hopes you have a great day. At first you ignored them, but then you began responding in short answers of one or two words until the two of you were texting every day, like when you met for the first time seven years ago. 

-

Over a month after you started texting again, Tom took you on a first date. Pulling up to your hotel, Tom felt the nerves fill his body as he walked up to your door and knocked, another bouquet of your favorite flowers in his hand. 

He felt all the air leave his lungs as you opened the door. You looked absolute stunning. You were wearing a navy blue dress that reached down to just above your knees, one Tom bought you one year. 

“Wow, hi.” He breathed. “You look stunning.” 

“Thank you.” You smiled, accepting the flowers he handed you. “I’ll be right back.” 

Tom took you to your favorite restaurant that night, one that the two of you frequented when you (formerly) went on dates. 

When he took you back to your hotel, he walked you up to the door, where he nervously asked if he could kiss you. 

You said yes, and that was all Tom needed to press a soft kiss to your lips. The kiss was magical, both of you felt the sparks between the two of you. 

“God I missed doing that.” Tom mumbled as he pulled away to breathe. 

“Then do it again.” 

-

A couple months after that, Tom moved back in with you. You had gone back to the house every now and then, to slowly acclimate yourself to being back in the once happy house, only fully moving back when Tom moved back as well. The pictures of the two of you were dusted off, making your heart race instead of hurt at the sight of the happy memories. 

-

Finally, after a year, Tom proposed to you (again). You hesitated a little bit, still scared it would end in heartbreak again, which broke Tom’s heart, but said you yes in the end. 

The two of you renewed your vows, putting on the golden bands that were once again a symbol of the love the two of you shared. 

You had a small party back at your house after the ceremony, your families joining to celebrate. You found Tom alone in the kitchen, grabbing a beer for him and Harry. 

“Hey.” You greeted, fiddling with your fingers as tears of happiness filled your eyes. 

“Hey, what’s wrong, my love?” Tom asked, concerned as soon he saw the tears filling your eyes. 

“Nothing, nothing. I, um,” You started, wiping your tears away and wrapping your arms around Tom’s neck. “I’m really glad we made it back to this.” 

“Me too, lovey. I love you so much.” He whispered, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

“Hey, Tommy?” 

“Yeah?” 

“You kept your promise.” You smiled softly, making Tom’s heart ache at the memory of you not being able to trust him. 

“I told you I would.” 

Your moment was interrupted by Harrison, who entered the kitchen, smiling at his two best friends happily in love once again. 

“Aren’t you so glad I told him where you were staying?” He joked, making you roll your eyes. 

“Shut up, Harrison.” You smiled. As your eyes flickered between Tom and Harrison, though, you knew you wouldn’t have been in this position if Harrison didn’t spill the beans to Tom. 

“Hey Haz?” You called, as Harrison went to leave the kitchen in fake offense. He turned at the sound of his name, knowing what was coming. 

“Thank you.” Tom nodded in agreement, his arm slipping around your waist. 

Harrison just smiled even bigger, all three of you knowing everything would be okay from now on.

[clingymickey]

I wrote a little Halloween fluff but I couldn't post on the day of Halloween 'cos I have poor time management skills but whatever it's gotta be the 31st somewhere in an alternate universe right? 😏👽. Inspired by Calli's (@ianandmickeygallavich) Halloween prompts and gallacrafts post.

No Monsters Here

‘Twas the night before Halloween, Debbie had left Franny to spend the weekend at her uncles' place and for most of the day, the three of them spent shopping for costumes and decorating their apartment with some spooky decorations. By the time Ian and Mickey put the last finishing touches of the fake cobweb around the living room, Fanny had drifted away to snooze-land.

“Hey Mick, come and look at this” Ian whispers softly, careful not to wake Franny up.

“What is it now, firecrotch? I told you already the jack o'lanterns look gr-”, instantly his face turns soft by looking at his niece drooling all over their new couch.

“Maybe we should take her back to our room”, Ian says, already going to pick up Franny to place her in their room. Maybe they could sleep on their couch just for tonight.

Once Ian had tucked her in and made sure Franny didn’t stir awake, he and Mickey spent their time cuddling together, watching Saw just to celebrate the Halloween spirit a bit more. Suddenly, a scream came from their room, (and fuck Ian for teasing him for maybe flinching a little when he heard it) followed by a little body running towards them and hiding under their blanket.

“Hey, Fran, what happened?”

No answer. Just a stream of tears flowed down her cheeks, staining Mickey’s sweatshirt.

“Alright lemme try,” Mickey lifts Franny’s head so he can see her more clearly. “Ok, lil’ red why don’t you tell your favorite uncle what happened”, giving more of an emphasis on favorite - at which she laughs, remembering her uncles’ ongoing feud on who's the favorite even though they already know the answer to that, which is the both of them.

“W-when I woke up, I saw a-a ghost behind the curtains” she said between sniffles.

“I’m sure there’s nothing there Franny, it’s probably just a shadow of a tree or something.”

"No, but Uncle Ian, there really was a ghost. I saw it with my own eyes!”

“Okay, how ‘bout we both check it out and you stay here ok?” Mickey assures.

“No. I’m scared, I wanna stay with you Uncle Mickey”

With a sigh Mickey let Franny bear hug his leg until they reached their room to check for ‘ghosts.’

“See nothing here” Ian coos, lifting the curtain only to make a show of nothing being there, so Franny could go back to sleep and he could go back to cuddling the shit out of his husband.

“But...but I swear I saw something moving” she mumbles.

“Like Ian said Fran, maybe it was just a shadow. Why don’t you go back to bed alright.” Mickey says, guiding her towards their bed. “Do you want the light on?”

“Okay.” Franny sighs. She could maybe give it a one last try and if there is a ghost, this time she could at least take a good look at it.

It had been 20 minutes, or so she felt like it had. Her eyes were wide open, looking for anything supernatural. Then there it was, the ghost was back, she could see its black color in contrast to the very light curtains.

Franny slowly got out of the bed, walking backwards as if the minute she turned her back the ghost would disappear.

“Uncle Ian, look look LOOK! It’s back” she says frantically, dragging Ian’s huge arm that should be way too heavy for her to pull.

As they reach the room Ian goes to say something, however, before he could even get it out Franny shushes him telling Ian to be quiet or ‘it’ would go again.

They slowly tiptoe towards the window, and as they come closer Ian starts to see ‘it’, maybe Franny wasn't lying after all.

“Hey, Fran, why don’t you call Uncle Mickey too.” he says, keeping his voice low so wouldn’t scare whatever the hell that was.

“Are you serious Ian you too, it’s probably a shadow” Mickey says as he enters the room, rolling his eyes.

“Would you just shut up and come here. Quietly” he whispers.

Once Mickey got close, he could finally see what the whole commotion was about. There really was something.

“Huh,” Mickey says, a bit surprised. “Open the fuckin’ curtain lets see what this motherfucker wants”

And Ian does just that, although very slowly, to “keep the suspense”.

“A kitty!!” Franny squeals.

Oh.

That was totally not what they were expecting. It was a black cat with piercing green eyes - just like someone else Mickey knows - and Franny was in love with it the minute she saw it, all the fear of a ghost gone, vanished into thin air.

“Can we keep it? Please”, shooting the best puppy eyes she could pull up.

“Well, I don’t think your mommy would allow that Fran,” Ian resonates.

“Pretty please. maybe you and uncle Mickey could keep it, even call it Minne!” she says, excitement running through her.

Both Ian and Mickey share a look. There’s nothing they could do now, could they? They both know how tight their niece has got them wrapped up around her finger,

“Alright we’ll keep her, only ‘cos we have no choice, but the minute she fucks our house up, she’s gone alright” Mickey says trying to sound stern, though both Franny and Ian know he’s lying.

[paper-n-ashes]

The Late Shift - Part 2

Characters: Paul Sevier x Female Reader

Words: 2k

Warnings/Tags: Little inklings of sexual themes. Otherwise we’re still in PG territory. Oh and mutual pining from two idiots. My favourite kind.

Authors Note: One shot? I don’t know her. Honestly, I don’t have any excuse. I just felt the urge to continue on with this dumb fluffy story because it makes me feel a little warm and fuzzy inside and I needed that. Will we drive this car straight into smut town afterwards? Ah you’ll just have to see. 

Catch up with Part 1 here

*

Paul always considered himself a smart guy. Perceptive, knowledgeable, with years of grueling education behind him to be where he is today.

His schooling, work, almost every minute of his waking moments was spent in the realm of artificial illustrations of correspondence. He could happily spend hours sifting through the words and numbers that made up all types of message transmission, might even admit he had a talent for decoding their significance and origin. Exchanges born from machinery were easy to analyse – they had set rules and gave little room for differing interpretation. He was comfortable in that world. Knew how things worked, what paths data and carefully devised information would take.

Human communication was infinitely harder to navigate. It was a skill he knew he was lacking in, compared to others at least. His words never came out the way he wanted, he struggled to say exactly what was wished to convey and agonised over the fact expression and tone could morph any remark into something with a whole different meaning.

Every day, he encountered people who used this as a tool - a weapon to obscure the truth and conceal hidden agendas. It was hard not to, working for the US government. In time, he’d become cynical. Wary of what people spoke aloud, assuming it was all said without much sincerity or reliability unless proven otherwise.

And then after another arduous day, there you were. Out of nowhere. Kind. Honest. Genuine. Within such an excruciatingly short interaction, you’d exuded all these traits so effortlessly. A breath of fresh air after being smothered by the smog the rest of his life contained.

Paul would easily admit his attraction to you was surprisingly swift. The rapturing smile you wore when you’d looked up from your notepad had him snared from the moment it appeared, an aura of natural vibrance and radiant energy shimmering out from your animated expression. What he’d expected to be a dry, tedious endeavour turned into a spark-filled scene, where an excited stranger made him feel both horrendously nervous and unusually at-ease. It had been a long time since someone made him feel like that.

It had also been a long time since he’d asked someone out on a date, for more than a few reasons. The more prolific Paul became in his job, the more unpredictable and unstable his life outside of it was. It took him across the country at a moments’ notice and consumed most hours of his day, meaning forging even short relationships was fairly difficult.

Plus… he just wasn’t good at it. Putting himself out there. He was shy, paralyzingly so. It’s not exactly something he could refute. His confidence was always born from experience and understanding, in knowing the reasons behind why things worked the way they did, along with being able to calculate what would happen next. No textbook could ever cover the entire spectrum of human personality, and there was no way to truly predict what a person might do or say. 

So, without the security of knowledge behind him, uneasiness and apprehension took over in most of his social interactions, particularly with those he felt a magnetism to. It’s exactly how he thought he seemed during his time with you. Awkward and floundering. Not exactly the most charming attributes for a man to have. And yet, the longer he was in your presence, the more he sensed those foibles fade into the back of his mind.

Talking to you was easy. Easier than it had been with anyone during a first meeting. What hadn’t been easy was enduring the seconds your touch grazed over him in your delicate workings while taking each different measurement - his heart beating a little faster, his muscles becoming a little more tense. When you’d eventually let your stare reach his, he’d seen how your eyes moved to trace the lines of his mouth, and it set his insides on fire. He’d been frozen by the unique type of burn, his body locked in place while a rare impulse begged him to sink his lips onto yours. In the past, he struggled to kiss a woman even after several dates, unable to push past the fear and doubt to turn his desire into action. However, in that moment, he’d been all too eager. His hand had moved on its own accord, fingers slinking up your waist, about to pull you closer when interruption instantly shattered his resolve.

The urge was still there in the dialogue that followed, although the promise of seeing you tomorrow made it easier to walk away, safe in the knowledge he had another opportunity to ask you out when his confidence was properly steeled. For once, he could be smart about this. Use his natural intellect to plan and act accordingly, giving him the best odds of securing more time with you.

Oh, but that all went to shit when your text message popped up on his phone screen. Seeing those words, even if they were meant for someone else, made his excitement reach an unfathomable peak, and in turn made him recklessly send a response without taking a second to think about the consequences.

And now, Paul had never felt so stupid in his entire life.

Sitting in the driver’s seat, the phone in his palm lit up with your conversation on display, he felt his stomach spasm with anxiety. Were you going to reply? What would you say? What if his bluntness freaked you out? What if you weren’t even talking about him? Was this all something his mind conjured up?

As the minutes passed without any sign of a response, the initially minor sense of panic began to compound, weighing heavy on his chest, the chaos of his mind soon melting into one certainty - he’d totally fucked this up.

About to slump his forehead into the steering wheel in a display of despondency, Paul suddenly felt a flash of courage at remembering the view of your face peering up at him. He knew the image of it would haunt him if he didn’t do something. He had to fix this. Explain himself. But it needed to be in person. He wouldn’t let technology mess this up for him again.

With a purposeful breath, Paul exited his car and began to retrace his steps past the other shopfronts, silently rehearsing what he wanted to say to you. He hoped to surrender himself to a collectively embarrassing situation, laugh off the turn of events, having it all culminate in an offer of dinner once your shift had finished. He already had a place in mind, only a street away, a little dumpling house that was always open late. Perfect for a cosy, quiet date after a chance meeting.

When his eyes latched onto your figure through the glass window, he stopped his hand from reaching for the door handle. You were crouching down in front of a small boy, his mother behind him cradling a newborn baby, your hand gesturing towards an array of child size suits. Paul couldn’t help but watch as your warming smile beamed, guiding the boys hands to touch and feel over the material, your words evidently making him feel more at ease as his expression slowly relaxed out of its worried frown.

Creeping backwards to make sure you didn’t catch him in your periphery, Paul felt a wave of relief wash over his skin, having evidence that your lack of reply wasn’t due to any of the worst case scenarios he’d been fretting over. You were just busy, concentrated on your work, giving your time and expertise to others in the same way you’d given to him.

The realisation was enough for him slink away, still impatient for your next encounter but assured in it being set within the next day cycle. He just had to wait.

Although, waiting wasn’t exactly a talent of his either.

 *

You were dying inside.

A friendly grin was plastered on your face as you conversed sweetly with the woman in front of you, making idle chit-chat while her son changed out of the suit you’d picked together, but the smile had never felt so insincere. Usually you loved when children came in to pick out ensembles for weddings and similarly formal events, but at the moment your mind was stuck on a small battery-powered rectangle sitting at your desk with a half-written message remaining under your lock-screen.

In the time before Paul’s response came through, you’d never felt more humiliated in your whole existence. Evaporating into thin air would have been a welcomed miracle. But when the returning text slid into focus, your whole mindset shifted.

He felt the same. He wanted you too.

You’d been in the middle of typing out a hasty invitation to come back and make true on his intentions when this overwhelmed mother with a fussy baby caught your attention. Her eldest son had done his best to iron out his only formal suit for the role of ring bearer in an aunt’s wedding this coming weekend, unfortunately resulting an a house full of smoke and a clump of burnt wool.

Personal matters withered into the background at the comprehension of her drained, exhausted demeanour, all your focus pointed back towards the job you’d been distracted from. Well, mostly.

You couldn’t avoid the thoughts and questions glinting in the back of your mind. Of what might have happened if this woman never appeared. What might be happening in an alternate timeline where you’d been able to send that waiting reply. Without intention, your wonderings turned into moving pictures – leading Paul into the back workshop, being roughly picked up onto the cutting table, his lips and yours finally connected in a heated clash, shedding all of his clothing until that heinous mustard shirt was crumpled on the floor-

The high pitched beep of the receipt machine snapped you back into reality, noting the relieved smile the mother wore while her son excitedly grabbed at the bags containing his dashing new suit.

“Thank you!” he hollered without needing to be prompted, waving his hand vigorously before skittering away to the door.

“You’re an absolute lifesaver,” the woman echoed, taking the receipt from your outstretched hand. “I’m really sorry for keeping you so late.”

“Oh don’t worry about it.” The time on the monitor screen just ticked over to 8:17pm, long after you would usually shut up shop and head home to your empty apartment. “I've got nowhere special to be.”

You each said your goodbyes, waiting until the precise moment her silhouette was out of sight before jumping to your phone. The same half written message was there, but now it felt impossible to finish. All traces of adrenaline had long since worn off, and the bravery that made you type out the risqué proposition was reduced to almost nothing. Your timid nature rushed back in full force, a thumb pressing hard on the little x button to erase all evidence of your out of character impulses.

Who were you kidding. You weren’t this person. Unashamed and brazen enough to dive into a fiery entanglement with a handsome stranger in the same evening you’d met. You wished you could be. There was never a time the concept was so enticing. But… it was a fantasy not meant for you to live out. They were destined for the outgoing, the cool and composed, the bold and sure-footed. You rarely felt like any of those things. And Paul, like most men, probably reserved their interest and attraction for those types of women. It was so silly of you to think any different. Getting your hopes up was foolish, and would only end in-

The tingle of the shopkeepers bell sounded, internally groaning as you slid your phone back onto the desk. “We’re closed,” you hawked, a coldness in your tone you couldn’t hide. Eyes snapping up to the intruder, a bolt of lightening shot through, barely able to stop the delight mixing into your blood.

“I just, uh, figured out something more that I needed,” Paul said softly, scratching the back of his neck, clearly nervous.

“You did?” you breathed. “W-what was it?”

His chest rose and fell with a calming exhale, making sure your stares were secured before giving his answer. “…You.”

*

Tagging some lovelies who might want to read. Feel free to let me know if you don’t want to tagged in future works!

@tlcwrites @roanniom @princessxkenobi @hopeamarsu @blowthatpieceofjunk @mariesackler @leatherboundriot @foxilayde @modernpaw @cornmousequeen @direnightshade @mylifeisactuallyamess @caillea @jynz-andtonic @paterson-blue @miraclesabound @prismaticpizza​ @millenialcatlady​ 

[avtrbee]

Levi and Y/N Family Headcanons

Hey!! This goes along with Unexpected Surprise bc i cant get it out of my head?? This is basically just a rundown on how your family dynamics are hehe. Though this is mostly how Y/N’s relationship are with the children, I put as much Levi as i could. feel free to tell me if you want more :)

AU where everyone is happy and alive bc snk is sad and depressing as it is and we deserve some fluff!!

You and Levi found each other when Mikasa and Eren were only small children, Mikasa being 3 and Eren being 4.

You and Levi were hesitant to get married because of the nature of your jobs. You were a Survey Corps soldier while Levi was running some shady things, alternating between the Underground and illegally going up to see you. There was a huge possibility of your death and Levi’s capture but both of you gave in thinking that there’s no time to waste. 

You and Levi had a civil wedding, only opting to sign documents in a legal office rather than a grand celebration. “Eren,” you say to your son before bringing him to the wedding. “You’re going to have a new sister today.”

You and Levi agreed to bring your children with you in your wedding to officially meet for the first time. You had let them see glimpses of each other before so they wouldn’t be too shocked at the sudden change. All four of you were going to be a family after all and you and Levi wanted it to work.

“What if you don’t like each other?” You ask, squeezing Levi’s hand on the night before your wedding.

“They will.” He mused, running his thumb over your hand. 

“But if they don’t?” you insist.

“Then they will have to get used to each other.” Levi replied.

Eren and Mikasa surprisingly took each other well. For one, once Eren heard that he was getting a sister, he was the one dragging you to the legal office where Levi and Mikasa were waiting. He always wanted to have a sibling, but there is no way you were going to have another child. Your vagina was ripped by Eren when you gave life to the boy and it wasn’t an experience you wanted to repeat thank you very much. 

Once you directed Eren to where Mikasa and Levi were, he burst to the door and held his hand out to Mikasa who was hiding behind Levi’s leg, clutching it for dear life. “Hi I’m Eren! My mama says you’re going to be my new sister!”

Mikasa cowered behind her father’s leg and stayed quiet before Levi shrugged his leg off. “Oi,” he warned.

She casted her eyes at Eren who gave her the widest smile. “...hi. Mikasa.” She whispered, ignoring Eren’s hand. Eren didn’t seem to mind, opting to fill Mikasa’s silence with his chatting.

With your salary as a soldier, you managed to buy a small house near the Survey Corps’ base and send Mikasa and Eren to the nearest school. It was a humble home compared to the houses in your neighborhood but it contained a small kitchen and room for the four of you. It was enough.

Despite being married, you and Levi would only see each other on the weekends. Levi still had business in the Underground which made it riskier to come home everyday. However, he entrusted Mikasa with you and Eren. He didn’t want her to spend another second in the disgusting place she grew up in and grow up like him, lacking in nutrients and sunlight.

This gave you and Eren the opportunity to bond with Mikasa, Eren most especially since they go to school together. You notice how Eren’s red scarf was often worn by Mikasa, and you take note to buy her new clothes and Eren a new scarf.

Being a soldier and a mother at the same time was hard, especially since you were facing a promotion which meant more paperwork and harsher training. You had to push yourself to be the best so you’d have a higher salary for your children and to make sure that you’d be fully equipped to survive the expeditions coming quickly in your way. 

You could always sleep in the assigned quarters the military has provided you but you always worry if Eren and Mikasa have eaten enough or have eaten too much, or if they got home safely. Plus, it was nice going home with someone waiting up for you.

Despite Eren being your biological son and Mikasa being Levi’s, the kids seemed to prefer the other parent. Eren would run charge towards Levi’s legs when he comes home for the weekends, climbing on him and just generally snuggling. Eren never had a father figure before and is generally curious about almost everything Levi does. He often bombards him with questions as soon as he gets home and though Levi tries to act annoyed, you notice how he never complains.

“Why do you only come home on the weekends?”

“Because I have a job somewhere else.”

“In the underground?”

“Yes.”

“Can I go with you?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“It’s dangerous.” Levi answered. “And disgusting.”

“But did you and Mikasa live there?”

“Yes.”

Mikasa would try to spend as much time with you as possible, but she wasn’t as explicit as Eren. She was more subtle in her crave of affection. She’s there when you prepare dinner and the first one to grab your hand on the rare occasion you pick them up from school.

One day, the kids got back from school to surprisingly find you in the kitchen and not at work.

“Hi mama!” Eren went to you with Mikasa hot on his trail. You gave both of them head pats. “Levi is upstairs, if you want to see him.”

“Dad is home? Already?” Eren asked excitedly, already ignoring you and making his way up.

You notice that Mikasa is still with you in the kitchen fidgeting with her hands, hiding herself in her scarf. You frown, suddenly worried about her behavior. You kneeled down to her height. “What’s wrong?”

She blushed, causing her face to be as red as the scarf wrapped around her neck. “Y/N...we’re having a parents day next week.”

“Yes, Eren mentioned.”

“...we...we talked about parents today.” Mikasa said, staring at you with her gray eyes. She took a deep breath and summoned her courage. “Eren said that Papa is going to his classroom and...and I know that I didn’t grow in your tummy like Eren did but Ms. Krause said that moms would cook for you and kiss your wounds and hug you when you feel sad and...and you do all of that! Could you come to my classroom instead, please, Y/N?”

This child...she was going to kill you with her words.

“Oh, my love,” you murmur, gathering Mikasa for a hug. Truth be told this was also a clever tactic so Mikasa wouldn’t see the tears gathering in your eyes. “I’d be honored.”

She pulled away immediately. “Really? You’d be my mama?”

You were bawling at this point, tears of relief and snot somehow mixing. Mikasa was crying quietly too, and you held her face with your palm, using your thumb to wipe her tears. “I’d love to.”

“Mama?” she tried saying. The words were unfamiliar on her tongue because she never had a mother before but Mikasa could get used to this.

“Yes?” you answer, giggling in happiness.

That night, as you lay in bed preparing to sleep, you couldn’t keep a smile off your face. 

“What are you smiling for?” Levi asked, joining you in bed, smelling like soap. 

“Mikasa asked me to be her mom.” You whisper.

“She called me her mom.” You say excitedly like it's some sort of secret. 

“Is that why she was happy today? You’re making her soft.” Levi said. “But she needs you, I suppose.”

When parents day finally came, you arrived hand in hand with Mikasa as she led you to her classroom while Eren and Levi went the opposite way. There was a chorus of excitement and pride evident in Mikasa’s eyes. Phrases of “I never knew your mom was a soldier, Mikasa!”, “Whoa, that's your mom, Mikasa?”, and “She’s so cool!” echoed around the room. Mikasa didn’t mind any of them, content with your large hand engulfing her tiny one.

[bookishofalder]

Just Breathe

Pairing: Adam Driver X Reader (GN!Reader)

A/N-In this fic, AD is single. Inspired by my own love for makeup and the alternate life I’d have enjoyed as a film makeup artist. I also think this ended up with the reader being gender neutral!

Warnings: Mutual pinning. Kissing. Caffeine addiction.

——————

You took a long, deep breath, focusing on clearing your mind and settling yourself into professional mode. This was a routine, which used to simply be automatic for you, until you started working this new movie trilogy and your world flipped.

Just breathe.

You had been ecstatic when you got the call-key makeup artist for the new Star Wars movies! It was an absolute dream come true, after years working hard as a makeup artist for smaller films and television shows, building your experience. Now you were the lead, which meant you were going to be working with main character actors, a chance to really prove yourself, under the direction of the production designer. You would get to design concepts for their appearances and execute the approved designs.

And not to mention, you were a huge Star Wars geek, having grown up watching the films with your dad, who was an original geek. You would watch them every year on his birthday together, a tradition that you carried out regardless of where in the world you were working from on set, you would stay up all night and video call him while watching, if you had to. You never missed a single year.

But now, it was years later and you were working on set of the final instalment, which was bittersweet in so many ways. You just needed to breath.

Because since day one of production on these movies, you’ve been in love with the lead actor, and it’s been chipping away at your soul. Because it’s one thing to imagine being with someone unattainable for fun, but when you spend a lot of time in that persons presence and over time realize how perfect they are to you, it can drive you up the wall.

Adam Driver was kind, funny and serious. He and you hit it off really well when you met, he was always keen to hear your thoughts on his characters appearance, and he’d even asked you recently to join him on the next press tour as his stylist and makeup artist. That in itself was an amazing opportunity, one that would continue to launch your career into orbit. You adored working with him, and spent a lot of your down time missing him, his corny jokes and soft looks and overall presence. Because that man took up a lot of space, which seemed to affect you in many ways, all good.

You felt like that character in Love Actually, played by Laura Linney, who was in love with Carl. Except, you were sure you hid it well, and you were always the most professional colleague. However, pining over a celebrity felt too ridiculous, too common, and you were hard on yourself constantly for it. You convinced yourself every morning that it was simply a crush, one that would fade if you kept yourself focused and reminded yourself daily of the type of person he could date, if he wanted to.

Yet, here you were, needing to breath, because he was on his way to the makeup trailer for end of day cleanup and you needed to get your head in the game, figuratively shoving your feelings down. Daisy had finished and left already, while your makeup assistant Bailey was hurrying about tidying the trailer, avoiding your station, and moving some of the equipment into the storage area. Soft classical music was playing on the Bluetooth speakers, and the smell of peppermint tea you had brewed was calming you somewhat.

Glancing in the mirror, you adjusted your hair, smoothed down your apron and internally chastised yourself for bothering to check. Setting down your tea, you looked over your set up, ensuring you had everything needed, though end of day was always the easier part on this set for you. You didn’t exactly envy the hard work that the SFX make up team had on both sides of the day, but you were always beyond impressed with their beautiful work.

The door to the trailer opened and immediately, you felt his presence. Adam stepped inside, wearing a hoodie and sweatpants, his hair and face still fully set to Kylo Ren’s appearance, which always made you smile, as the contrast was hilarious.

“Evening, y/n, Bailey.” He said, nodding to you both before sitting down heavily into his chair. He smiled at you warmly, looking tired. You quickly set a headband on his head, pushing all the hair from his face carefully.

“How are you, Adam?” You briefly met his soft eyes, which were fixed on your own. If you didn’t spend so much timing beating yourself up for liking him, you might have noticed his eyes often following you, or his soft smiles, or the way he sometimes stiffened when your hands ran through his hair or down his face as you worked on him.

But you never did seem to notice. “I’m good, tired today, this week’s caught up with me.” He rumbled. You hoped he couldn’t hear your heart rate pick up every time he spoke. Although, it had been like this for years and he hadn’t complained yet. Or he’d grown used to it. ‘Shut up, brain’, you thought.

“I’m not surprised, after the fiftieth take of this scene I got tired watching you!” It was true too, having to be on set at all times during filming meant a lot of time spent watching the actors at work, and since Adam insisted on doing his own stunts, a lot of the scenes he was in were physically gruelling. You didn’t know how he did it, and despite his words you knew if he was called back to set for any retakes, he’d spring from the chair full of energy and ready to work.

His dedication was an astounding trait that impressed you from the start, never wavering. His serious, hardworking personality only had you falling harder.

He chuckled at your words, his eyes closing automatically as you spritzed his face with a gentle solution you liked for removing the prosthetic scar. He kept them closed as you worked, peeling off the wound with delicate fingers. You didn’t know that he kept them closed because when you were really focused on something, you bit your lip in a way that made his blood warm, in a way that gave him trouble with tearing his gaze away.

“I saw Bailey sneak you a latte, though, which I’m pretty sure means I’ve won our bet.” Your hands stilled at his words, and he peaked up at you, a devilish grin quickly spreading across his face freckled, handsome face.

You faked offence, scoffing “I don’t know what you mean, it was decaf.” Adam gave a bark of a laugh at your lie, shaking his head.

“Just admit it, you’re a caffeine addict.” He’d been teasing you for years for constantly having caffeinated beverages within reach, and you’d recently, stupidly, agreed to a bet where you would stick to one a day for a month. If you won, he had to forever leave you alone about it, and if he won he could continue to tease you for infinity.

“I believe the terms of our bet allowed for one slip up, actually.” You pouted, jutting your chin out slightly. You continued working, getting his skin cleaned and recovered from the makeup, pretending to be unbothered by the fact that he had noticed Bailey sneak you the latte on set. And you tried not to overthink why he would have been looking at you in the first place.

Adam considered your words for a moment, “Yes,” he said slowly, “But today is only day two of this bet, and you’ve already slipped up.” You were smiling now, the joy evident in his tone was contagious. Still, you rolled your eyes.

“I’m only human, you know, but I am competitive.” You hoped you sounded convincing. You weren’t sure you cared about winning the bet, really.

He continued to grin at you, but made no response. You settled into a comfortable silence together as you made your way through the end of day skin care routine you developed for Adam during the first movie. You had one for each of the main actors, and they’d all impressed you with their dedication in following them. You weren’t good at giving yourself credit, though. Everyone knew a skin care routine curated by you was priceless.

“You need me to stick around, y/n?” Bailey asked, popping out from the back of the trailer where the storage area was. She gave you a pointed look, which you promptly ignored.

“No, go on ahead and start your weekend, Bailey, I’m almost done here, thank you.”

“Night, Bailey!” Adam waved. Bailey bid them both goodnight and left, leaving you alone with Adam. You cursed yourself, feeling foolish. You meant to be genuinely nice to Bailey, who worked hard and deserved the break, but usually you kept her around at times like this to ensure you weren’t left alone with the object of your daydreams. When no one else was around, you had no witnesses to any comments that Adam made that you might consider flirtatious. And while you assumed handsome celebrities like him would probably inherently flirt with others as second nature, you never understood why he would flirt with you. It confused you entirely.

You felt your nerves suddenly rear up, and your hands shook very slightly as you removed the calming sheet mask you had placed on Adam. His eyes followed your hands, but he said nothing. You’d been alone plenty of times before, but every time you would turn into a nervous, silly mess, overanalyzing every comment he made and every word you managed to sputter.

You didn’t know it, but Adam always wished for more time alone with you. He knew you well, and could recognize your nerves and always wondered why being alone with him made you nervous. He hoped it was because you liked him, but he was helpless at flirting, and didn’t know how let you know how he felt. He didn’t want to overstep, or make you uncomfortable. You were both technically working, and he felt you probably had much more appealing options for partners outside of work.

Tonight, though, for the first time, you were both exhausted, under caffeinated and, though neither of you would openly admit it, lonely. Years of longing the other, feeling hopeful, was going to catch up to you both tonight.

“Okay, head froward for me please,” He complied, and you expertly ran your hands into his hair, pulling smoothing serum through the thick locks with gentle care. As you focused, applying liberal amounts, you noticed Adam’s hands clench the chairs arms. “Is that okay?” You worried you’d hurt him.

He tilted his head back and met your eyes. He was so tall that even sitting in his makeup chair, his eyes were level with yours. It was nice not needing to adjust his seat, as you needed to do constantly for most of the actors, but it also meant a lot of time face to face, learning to read one another. Your hands were still in his hair. Somewhere in the back of your mind, a voice of reason was telling you to calmly remove your hands and step back. But the look he was giving you had you frozen to the spot. You’d never read that expression on his face before, his eyes were dark, serious.

His eyes searched yours for a moment longer, “Yeah, y/n.” His voice came out quiet, soft. You think maybe your heart would stop working, because he wasn’t looking away. You couldn’t understand his expression, he seemed to be searching for something in your own.

Finally, you managed to pull your gaze away. Quickly removing your hands, you stepped back, smoothing down your apron nervously, “I-I mean, you’re all set, Adam, unless you need anything else from me?” Why was your voice so quiet? And your face, it felt hot.

You needed to get out of this trailer, away from this man-he was having such a strong affect on you. You rationalized that it was simply because you were tired, you really had cut down significantly on caffeine and this was the result, your sleepiness was lowering your defences and he was noticing you were acting strange. That was all it was.

Adam stood, frowning slightly, but didn’t move away from you. Now, he was right in front of you and you had to tilt your head back just to see beyond his chest. You glanced up at him, and his eyes seemed to soften.

“You’ve really been cutting back on coffee, haven’t you?”

You nodded, “Told you, I’m competitive.” Your voice was breathy, like you’d been running. What the hell was wrong with you, you wondered.

Adam smiled, “I know, I love that about you.” You thought maybe you were now hearing things, and simply stared up at him in surprise, his words genuine, warm.

“Thank-um, thank you, Adam, that means a lot, coming from you.” Now, you were basically whispering. Yet your voice sounded much too loud.

He tilted his head, took a careful step closer, the gap between you nearly gone now. His overall hugeness as he stood over you made you feel safe, and a jolt ran through to your core. “I love a lot of things about you, y/n. Like, how you’re face gives what you’re thinking away, if the person knows you well enough, and you know that about yourself so you try to hide it. You look away, before someone reads you-but I’ve gotten pretty good at catching your expressions,” The low timbre of his voice was doing things to you, and you couldn’t look away from Adam now, “And right now, I think I do know what you’re thinking. Can I test my theory?”

He was asking permission, for what you didn’t know, but at this point you’d have given it no matter what. So you nodded, “S-sure.” You saw the look in his eyes shift, his gaze moving to your lips.

Despite noticing this, it still caught you entirely off guard when Adam leaned down, his hands moving to your face, gently, and caught your lips with his own. So off guard, that you immediately moaned in surprise. You felt Adam freeze, and wondered if you’d messed up, but before you could open your eyes to check, he pressed you against the wall behind you and resumed kissing you with renewed fervour. You felt yourself returning the kiss, mirroring his movements, entirely caught up in him. His tongue ran across your lips and you parted them, allowing him to taste you as he deepened the kiss.

And you tasted him, his breath minty and overwhelmingly him, you felt drunk, dizzy. You moaned again, and he pulled away, still holding your face, “Sweetheart, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” He breathed, his pupils blown, face flushed. His gaze was intensely affectionate.

You had to catch your breath, “I didn’t think...I’m just a makeup artist, Adam, I-“

But he cut you off, shaking his head, “Don’t do that, how do you not realize how amazing you are, y/n? You take my breath away every time I see you, and it’s not just because you’re beautiful,” He punctuated his words with a peppering of kiss along your cheeks, “It’s how funny you are, how hardworking, your talent and vision, the way you take care of me and the others, how kind and sweet and goofy you are-I’ve been in love with you for a long time, for a million different reasons.”

Tears threatened at his words, and you had to work to blink them back, “I think I’m dreaming.” You breathed, feeling silly, but he grinned, and shook his head. You returned the smile, gazing up at Adam in wonder, before reaching up with both hands to caress his face, the gesture so much more intimate than it had been when you worked on his skin. His eyes closed briefly, but opened again when you spoke, “I love you too, you know, always have.”

In an instant, his lips were on yours again, this time the intensity was burning, smouldering. Entirely too much and yet no where near enough. You pushed your hands into his hair and he groaned against you, his hands gripping your face and it felt like you couldn’t get close enough to him. He dropped one hand to your waist, pulling your body flush to his, then slid his other into your hair. You weren’t sure how long you stayed like this, fully ablaze in each others arms, but you never wanted it to stop.

When you did break apart, breathless and flushed, Adam was the first to speak, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine, “Would you like to come over to my hotel?”

You nodded, still standing close against him, “I’d really love that.” And you leaned up, on your tip toes, to plant a chaste kiss on his nose, unable to stop smiling.

Adam hugged you close again, planting a few affectionate kisses to your cheeks and hair, before stepping back, watching you as you gathered your things quickly. He took your bag from you as you pulled off your apron and threw on your coat, and you followed him out, feeling giddy.

“We might have to end our bet, by the way.” Adam held open the passenger door for you, when you reached his car, and watched your confusion at his words.

“Why’s that?”

He leaned down, his eyes dark in a way that had you mesmerized, “You’re going to need a lot of caffeine when I’m done with you, sweetheart.” He murmured softly, his voice laced with cheek, and yet you shivered.

You met his gaze, grinning, while internally you had to remind yourself to breath.

Just breath.

[daleisgreat]

30 Years of Super Nintendo - Flashback Special

The Super Nintendo Entertainment System (SNES) recently celebrated its 30th anniversary of the North American launch, so it seems the perfect time to post a Flashback Special honoring it! Suppose you have not perused a past Flashback Special of mine (all linked at the bottom of this entry). In that case, they are essentially my history with the platform over the years, with a little bit of history thrown in, and recounting all my favorite games, accessories, memories, and moments with the system.

Odds are for the average gaming enthusiast reading this, and you probably are familiar with the core details of the SNES launch stateside (if not, then I highly recommend CGQ’s video on it for a quick breakdown). The SNES launched in 1991 when I was eight. I did not have a subscription to any gaming magazines yet, so I most likely first found out about the system around that time from classmates at the time at school, the infamous Paul Rudd commercial, and the fourth season of Roseanne that transpired from 1991-92. I vividly remember the Roseanne episode with her son, DJ, pleading with his parents for the brand new SNES for his birthday gift and how his parents dreaded not being able to afford the system. I covered that episode when I did my Roseanne complete series re-watch here in the year leading up to the relaunch of the show several years ago. It brought back memories of how that was the story with my parents also denying me the much sought-after SNES, saying it cost too much and that I already have an NES to tide me over. ”But mommmmm, the SNES is 16-bits!!!!” Yeah….playing that angle got me nowhere. Kiosks & Friends The first couple of years for the SNES, I mostly remember playing at store kiosks. Super Mario World blew me away from the brief time I played it with it being such a leap from the NES installments. I always ate up the precious few minutes I could procure at a store kiosk if no one were playing Super Mario Kart. One last store kiosk memory was eye-gazing over the impressive WWF Royal Rumble. I loved WWF WrestleFest in the arcade, and for a couple of years, it was the only WWF game that offered up WWF’s marquee over-the-top rope elimination match, the Royal Rumble, and it was endlessly fun to play in the arcade. Fast-forward to playing it on console kiosks around its 1993 release, and I could not eat up enough of that game’s Royal Rumble mode either, and at the time, the graphics seemed like a huge step up from the wrestling games on NES. One of my favorite issues of Nintendo Power is the 50th issue that did a several-page spread on WWF Royal Rumble that I must have thoroughly re-read at least a dozen times.

I read this NP spread of WWF Royal Rumble many times, and it was one of my initially most desired SNES games! Around 1993/94, a couple of friends and classmates started to get the Super Nintendo. An early SNES memory that stuck with me all these years is my grade school friend, Jon-Paul, having me over for his birthday where he rented a SNES console and Street Fighter II: Turbo from the video store, and we played it for several hours straight. Another is spending a lot of 1994 at my neighborhood friend’s place, where we played countless sessions of NBA Jam and Mortal Kombat II. Both games were big on codes and secrets and perfect two-player games. I was just regularly getting into video game magazines at this time and ate up issues of Tips & Tricks, Game Players, and Electronic Gaming Monthly to see what kind of hidden character and other much-rumored codes were making the waves each month for both of these games. Mortal Kombat II especially dominated the code-fervor that season with trying to uncover how to face off against secret characters like Jade, Noob Saibot, and Smoke, and trying to memorize all the input sequences for the game’s infamous Fatalities. Fast forward to late 1995/early 1996, and I still did not have a SNES, but a new neighborhood friend, Rich, just got one and the next several months at his place introduced me to so many SNES games. Rich kind of got me somewhat into RPGs at the time, and while it may not sound fun on paper, there were many times I recall just kind of embracing the role of “armchair gamer.” I did this for games like EVO: Search for Eden, and Eye of the Beholder while keeping an eye out during gameplay to offer whatever suggestions seemed viable.

FFVI was eye-opening to me at the time of what video game narratives were capable of, and I devoured the latest secrets for FFVI discovered in the latest issue of my Game Players subscription that was delivered. The RPG I felt like that I contributed something to was the game that was originally released as Final Fantasy III. That game featured two-player support for battles only, so it was refreshing to help Rich with progressing through the game finally. My two favorite characters to use were Sabin and Cyan. That game especially blew me away with its larger-than-life story with two different game worlds, the momentous opera scene with Celes, the dazzling mode-seven graphics when traveling via airship or Chocobo, constantly getting irked at Shadow whenever he deserted the party, and so many other priceless moments. Over the years, I tried restarting the GBA version on a couple of occasions and regrettably have yet to finish it. Finally Owning a SNES….in 1996

Growing up with divorced parents put me in a unique childhood when it came to gaming. I lived with my mom, who provided for us as best as possible for the three siblings I grew up with, so we only had an NES for us for the longest time. However, when visiting my dad on weekends, he would always be big on hitting up as many garage sales and second-hand stores as possible and would acquire whatever he thought seemed like a bargain. Games-wise, this usually meant he lagged behind a generation because everyone was offloading their Atari VCS/2600s at garage sales for cheap when the NES was king, so I could have a great couple of years to become familiar with the pioneering-era of games on Atari. He then got into the NES scene when the SNES hit in 1991. Sure enough, the same month the N64 launched in America in September 1996 was when he bought a Super Nintendo for the family used at our local Premiere Video. The game we picked up with it was Street Fighter II: Turbo. My dad instantly remarked upon booting it up the noticeable jump in graphics. We played nothing but Capcom’s second Street Fighter game on SNES for a few weekends. I could only finish that game by button mashing into a victory against the final boss, M. Bison, once….with M. Bison. I still have a lot of love for this era of Street Fighter - whether it be for the roster, every character’s stage and theme music, and receiving Nintendo Power’s strategy guide for the game for Christmas and studying it regularly to improve.

After a few weeks, we realized we needed something else than a fighting game, and after another trip to Premiere Video, we came home with Super Mario All-Stars. It felt like the easy choice to go with 16-bit remakes of all four 8-bit versions of the core Mario Bros. games. Every game felt like a whole different game with all-new graphics and sound, and more importantly, being able to save progress midgame. This was a bigger hit with the entire family, and it provided many days of taking turns in its alternating two-player mode to see who could get the farthest in the four Mario games included.

Make sure to have some tissues by your side as you witness FFIII/VI's infamous "opera" scene. Seriously, this was mind-blowing stuff to 13-year old Dale in 1996. 16-bit Sportsball Fun

After playing a lot of those first two SNES games, I went into this stretch for the next several years, where most of what I played was sports and wrestling games. I attribute this to many multiplayer sessions with Rich, my brother, Joe, and my dad. I know my dad was not all that into sports other than a passing interest in rooting on hometown Minnesota pro-sports teams. Still, I have to give him credit for spending as much time with us and taking the time to learn and become a pretty solid player at teaming up with me in many sports games. It is worth noting that I feel the 16-bit era is probably the last-gen where most of its library of sports games had a relatively simple pick-up-and-play feel that NES games had. That changed a little bit in the final SNES years, where it was usually EA’s games that started to incorporate more realism in their sports games and make use of most of the buttons of the SNES controller. For football, Madden NFL ‘97 was the one I played the most. I played plenty of the Genesis version at Rich's place, so much so that I noticed too many little differences with the SNES version to make it stand out on its own. For 16-bit sports nuts that want to know, the Genesis version had the better playing version, but the SNES had a better overall presentation and more popping audio and visuals. I was part of a small slice of sports gamers big into NES Play Action Football, and the 16-bit version played almost exactly like the NES version, but with a 16-bit upgrade and also has a nifty feature to play games at the high school, college, or NFL level.

NBA Jam and NBA Hangtime dominated my 16-bit sports lineup. The code scene for these games were so intense at the time I had to keep my own binder of notes on them all that I still have today as seen above! As I alluded to earlier, when it came to hoops, I played way too much NBA Jam the first year it was out at my friend’s place. However, the arcade hoops game I played the most on SNES was NBA Hangtime, which was developed by the same people who made Jam. I got that game new for Christmas in 1996 and must have played it regularly with Rich for nearly a year straight. I do not hear that game receive the same level of praise as Jam, but it added a few new fun layers to freshen up the gameplay, like being able to do co-op dunks and earn “Team Fire,” and being able to create players. For more simulation-focused hoops, I played a lot of NBA Live ’96 with my dad, in addition to Nintendo’s NCAA Basketball which appeared like a technical marvel to me that was ahead of its time with the mode-seven camera allowing constant 3D rotation whenever possession of the ball changed and foreshadowed what would become the go-to camera perspective for the next-gen of basketball games. Finally, I will cherish my time with Bill Laimbeer’s Combat Basketball for it being the only hoops game I ever had to consult a guide to figure out how to shoot the damn ball….and for its surprisingly rocking soundtrack. Find out all about it when I broke that game down with the Your Parents Basement crew on their penultimate podcast.

Nintendo incorporated the same camera style into its hockey game, NHL Stanley Cup. Its graphics also impressed me, but it was rather challenging to score a goal, and I did not have as much fun with it. I played EA’s hockey games more on Genesis than SNES, but EA’s baseball game, MLBPA Baseball, was the hardball game I spent the most time with on Super Nintendo. Many years later, I picked up Nintendo’s Ken Griffey Jr. Presents: Major League Baseball, and had some fun with it, but already played the Game Boy version of it to death by the time I picked up the SNES version, and thus did not invest as much time with it as I did with EA’s game. Wanna Wrassle!?

I must have read through this review of WWF RAW countless times in my youth, and seeing how this essentially is a bigger and better version of Royal Rumble only increased my desire to one day own a SNES! The North American wrestling library was a significant step up from the bottom of the stairwell where most of the NES games hung out….but on the SNES, it only made it roughly halfway up the stairs. The aforementioned WWF Royal Rumble provided many hours of fun for its day, but it has not stood the test of time with the button-mashing grapple meter it featured that will obliterate thumbs on the normal difficulty level! Its sequel, WWF RAW, was noteworthy for having more match types available and being one of the first games to have a selectable female wrestler in Luna Vachon, but it too used that same ill-fated grapple meter that has not aged well. WWF Wrestlemania: The Arcade Game is a fun little hybrid of Mortal Kombat and wrestling, but the SNES version is notorious for lacking two wrestlers compared to all other home versions.

For non-WWF games, WCW SuperBrawl Wrestling is rather unremarkable….except for its exceptional wrestler select screen.There were a few interesting unlicensed wrestling games in America. Natsume Championship Wrestling featured a solid wrestling engine but removed/altered the AJPW wrestlers from the Japanese version of the game. Hammerlock had a promising concept of having part of the screen dedicated to nonstop Tecmo-esque cinematics. In contrast, the other half of the screen featured 2D gameplay, but the cameras constantly flipped on screen, to which half was dedicated to cinematics or gameplay. It resulted in it being a jarring mess. Saturday Night Slam Masters is no such mess, however, and is a better hybrid of fighting game meets wrestling game, with this one done by Capcom. It features larger-than-life character sprites, full-on ring entrances with laser lights, and is a fun-playing combination of wrestling and Street Fighter. To top it off, Slam Masters has Final Fight’s Mike Haggar on the roster to boot!

Joey Pink does a fine job detailing why Capcom's "Street Fighter" in a wrestling ring should not be missed! Ensuring RPGs are here to Stay Aside from watching Rich play some of the RPGs I listed above, and of course, playing Final Fantasy VI with him, I did get a chance to play a few other RPGs on the SNES over the years, and it was not until the last few years that I finally finished a couple of them. In the late 1990s I first started two RPGs that stood out to me at the time because they broke out of the medieval fantasy mold most other RPGs at the time took place in. Shadowrun on the SNES was drastically different from the Genesis version I first encountered at Rich’s. This one still had the same futuristic cyberpunk world setting and terminology, but there were many more dialog options with NPCs that were pivotal in asking the right questions to progress the story. Additionally, the hacking games played out differently and had more of a puzzle theme to them than the action-oriented ones in the Genesis version, and the combat had kind a PC interface where a cursor had to be dragged across the screen on which target to aim at. I still wound up being totally into it and became stuck in the back half of the game before my save data became corrupted. I thought that would end my days with Shadowrun…

SNES Shadowrun remains one of my all-time favorite RPGs as of this writing! The final gauntlet tower was an ordeal and a half to work through, only to face off against a dragon as the final boss! …until nearly two decades later in 2016. I mentioned on past flashback specials how I occasionally guest host on the Your Parents Basement podcast, where they cover a random retro game per episode. In 2016 they asked me if there were any games I had in mind to cover, and Shadowrun felt like worth revisiting and possibly knocking off the “must beat this game” bucket list. I progressed until about a little over halfway through by the time we all met to record and broke down the game, but by that point, I just started to make further progress than my last effort and was determined to see this one through! I was playing on actual SNES hardware and was surprised that the battery still held a save but ran into trouble in the final tower with a gauntlet of enemies on each floor to overcome before the final boss. I looked up a walkthrough and discovered an exploit to grind experience to beef up my character. Eventually, I managed to persevere and finally conquer the final boss, a fire-breathing dragon, to cross finishing Shadowrun off my bucket list! I had a riot podcasting with the YPB crew about it too, so please click or press here to give it a listen if you want to know more about this under-the-radar 16-bit RPG.

Fast forward three years later in 2019, and the awesome YPB hosts of Steve, Huell, and Todd helped me once again restart and finish another SNES RPG that I came close to finishing in the late 1990s before evil corrupt save data reared its ugly head again. This time the game of choice is the uber-expensive Earthbound. Like Shadowrun, that game stood out to me because its setting went against the grain of fantasy settings and instead took place in modern times as grade school kids. The opening levels felt like getting lost in your neighborhood and using childlike items as weapons like Yo-Yos and baseball bats. I do not own that ridiculously expensive game, but by 2019 I did own a SNES Mini (more on that in a bit) that I made sure to abuse the save state and the rewind functions it provided to overcome some troubling bosses in the back half of the game. That final act of the game certainly goes places with its sci-fi twists and feels like an entirely different game, but I still loved it all the same! It felt exhilarating to finally knock this one off my “to do” list as well, and I had just as much fun dissecting it to pieces with the YPB crew that you can check out by click or pressing here. Unfortunately, this is where my extensive hands-on time with SNES RPGs comes to an end. I played a lot of FFIII/VI, and finished Earthbound, and Shadowrun. Sure, I dabbled in several other games but did not put more than an hour or two into them. One of those games is the much-heralded, Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, and I have no excuse for never sticking with it because I loved the NES original. It was the GBA re-release I played, and I think I was spreading myself thin while playing and reviewing too many games simultaneously. Lufia and Breath of Fire II were another pair of RPGs I put a couple of hours into that both left me with promising first impressions, but there was a whole other reason why I did not go back to those again, and that is because then I was waist-deep at the time in….. Discovering Emulation Right around the time my family acquired its first computer in the fall of 1997 was when I found out about emulation. It seemed way too good to be true to easily download and play games right on the computer, especially when factoring in the SNES was at the tail end of its lifecycle, and there were still new games releasing for it. As an unemployed 9th grader at the time, I sampled countless 8- and 16-bit ROMs with the SNES games I was the most curious about. A few of the RPGs in the previous paragraph being prime examples of the ones I invested the most time into. It proved to be overwhelming with so many choices, but I took a long sabbatical after a year or so of taking in the emulation scene after the family computer crashed and I lost all the save data I had amassed in so many games.

It has been interesting to see how emulation has evolved over the years from programs like SNES9X and Retroarch to being incorporated into machines like the MISTer, RetroPi, and Retron 5. Nintendo has learned to embrace official, legal emulation over the years with purchasable digital classic games on systems such as the Wii, WiiU, and 3DS. Having a stable income as an adult now many years later, I feel guilty for embracing the emulation scene so hard in my teenage years, so much so that whenever Nintendo re-releases one of its classic hits several times over, I choose to purchase it again (well…usually at a sale price) to redeem myself. Keeping SNES Alive Today

Over the years, I find myself diving into retro games versus the latest and greatest coming out. I am a fan of the various SNES hardware updates/clones, both officially from Nintendo and unofficially from other companies, which has kept my SNES and other retro game fandom blood flowing over the decades. I am unsure if it feels right to lump it in here, but the Super Game Boy lead to me getting a lot of extra life out of my SNES. Playing Game Boy games on the big screen was a big deal to me back then, considering it was always a pain to make out what was happening on the non-backlit handheld. For some reason, those special border screens that would eventually have funny animations after being left idle for so long made an impression on me. Game Boy games with the “Super Game Boy Enhanced” logo on the front of the box usually have their own exclusive border and special color palette. I loved the Mole Mania and Donkey Kong Land borders the most! I thought it was rad that around 15-20 special enhanced Super Game Boy titles featured multiplayer support with two SNES controllers. They consisted almost entirely of Bomberman and fighting games, but it was still a cool feature nonetheless. The handheld Hyperkin SupaBoy is the unauthorized SNES take on the Sega Nomad by having a portable SNES. It is a bit on the bulky side, but it has a rechargeable battery, and its support has been flawless with my entire SNES library. Another Hyperkin product I got a lot of use out of is the Retron 5. I know that particular clone system is controversial with retro game enthusiasts based on the unauthorized emulators it implements. However, the user interface and emulation support made it possible for me to make record progress in many SNES games by taking advantage of save states and its optional Game Genie-esque cheats library. The SNES Classic Edition is an excellent official piece of hardware from Nintendo that has the pint-sized SNES pre-installed with 21 SNES games, one of which is previously unreleased Star Fox 2. It has an adorably intuitive interface and supports game rewinding and save states, which made it the way I was finally able to finish Earthbound. It was also surprisingly not-so-difficult to plug into a PC and import a bunch of SNES ROMs into. Other companies like 8bitdo made that system extra convenient by making their recommended wireless controllers compatible with it!

If you did not grow up with the SNES, then both of these options are great entry points for those looking to move on beyond emulators. The Analogue Super NT may have been pushing it too much price-wise. When it comes down to the nuts and bolts of emulation tech, I am not a wizard by any means, except that by all sources, it sounds like the Super NT offers the best hardware emulation with its FPGA technology. It makes SNES games appear as pristine as possible on an HD/4KTV without any or as minimal of the fuzziness that happens whenever I try plugging in the composite/RCA cables from a base SNES system into a 4K/HDTV. For those unfamiliar with the Super NT, this video from the My Life in Gaming crew does a thorough dissection of everything it has to offer. The list of options in there is intimidating to mess around with, but this sounds like the way to go if one wants to keep playing their cartridges……although I have to admit I am pretty satisfied currently with the Retron 5 and SNES Classic Edition.

Odds are some of you are quite a bit younger than me and grew up post-SNES lifecycle. Not interested in going down the pricey road of hunting down old cartridges and hardware, and do not want to dabble on the dark side of illegal emulation? Then a terrific alternative is if you have a Switch with Nintendo’s $20/year online service membership and taking advantage of the Nintendo Switch Online and Super Nintendo Switch Online digital game portals. It has unlimited access to the slate of games on there, along with save points as long as your membership remains active. The implementation of save states and the user interface has also improved noticeably over the emulation used for NES & SNES Classic Editions. More importantly, it adds the feature to play online with a friend. Last year I played online SNES games with my nephew, who was wrapping up 6th grade at the time, and this was his first time playing SNES games. He loves Mario Kart 8 on Switch, and so when the first game we played was the original Super Mario Kart, I could not help but crack up when he instantly remarked, “Dale, this looks old!” He eventually came around, and then we had some fun playing co-op , Joe & Mac . A couple of years ago, on my Genesis Flashback Special, I made sure to reminisce of my fond memories of the summer I spent playing nonstop Sega Channel. These NES/SNES Switch portals are essentially the Sega Channel, but far better because it does not cost $15 a month (in 1994 dollars which equals $27.63 today per Google), offers multiple save states, and ability to play online for only $20 a year!!! Kids, get your parents to hook you up now!!! Miscellaneous Quick Hits

SNES games were the most common denominator on six of the 13 episodes I guest hosted on the retro game podcast, Your Parents Basement. Check out their full archives by click or pressing here. -Turns out I did quite a few guest hosting spots on Your Parents Basement Podcast for SNES games. For those that are podcasting fiends and dug the three episodes I linked to already, then I will link you to three more SNES themed episodes I appeared on where I breathed in the Mode 7 skies of Pilotwings, embraced Capcom’s action-platformer prowess in X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse, and made sure not to miss any Gatorade and Wheaties health pick-ups in Michael Jordan: Chaos in the Windy City.

-The SNES controller is my favorite pre-disc console era controller. It kept the similar button layout of the NES controller but rounded off the edges into its iconic “dog bone” feel so the controller no longer cramped in your hands! Throw in the two extra face buttons and two additional shoulder buttons, and it opened up all kinds of deeper gameplay possibilities! It made it perfect for most fighting games that used almost all the face and shoulder buttons. I found the shoulder buttons were also smartly implemented in NBA Jam/Hangtime for being assigned to use for turbo speed functionality. As far as other SNES controllers/peripherals go, since I loved the NES Zapper, I always wanted to try the Super Scope, but as a kiddo, its bazooka-sized proportions were kind of intimidating. It still kind of bums me out all these years I never got to experience it with epics like Yoshi’s Safari, T2: The Arcade Game, and Tin Star. I never had an opportunity to use the SNES mouse either, which I kind of regret all these years later after seeing all the marvelous creations from experts at Mario Paint, and it was cool to see some PC ports like Civilization, Doom, and Wolfenstein 3D take advantage of SNES Mouse compatibility.

-The 16-bit era was when fighting games exploded, and as you can tell above, I spent a lot of time with Street Fighter II: Turbo, and the first two Mortal Kombat games. Other than that, though, the only other fighting game on SNES I put significant time into was TMNT Tournament Fighters. It was released at the tail end of the TMNT-mania when the cartoon peaked at its popularity. The game itself was a surprisingly competent licensed fighting game from Konami, and tried its best to feel like a solid Street Fighter-clone. Speaking of them pesky turtles… -…TMNT IV: Turtles in Time was the only beat-em-up brawler I put considerable time into on the SNES. I have vague memories of trying others out once or twice like The Peace Keepers, and Super Double Dragon, but Turtles in Time was the one I frequently revisited over the years. It is a superb rendition of the arcade game, with SNES-exclusive levels like the Technodrome that had a fantastic first-person boss fight against Shredder, where lowly Foot Soldiers had to be chucked right at him to defeat Shredder. The soundtrack is one of my favorite SNES scores, so much so that I went all-in to get the for it! I have so many great memories of this game, with the highlight being my friend Matt and I revisiting this for complete runs of it once every year or two for about a dozen years.

Turtles in Time and FFIII/VI are my favorite SNES soundtracks, but Turtles in Time I own on vinyl so I will embed it here in all its glory for you to enjoy as well!

-The SNES library had a quality slate of racing games. Super Mario Kart quickly rose to the top of the ranks and was always fun to bust through a GP with a friend. Street Racer was one of the first kart-clones to hit in 1994, and for some reason, that one always stuck with me. As did it being one of the few games to have four-player split-screen support with all four screens being horizontal! Rock ‘n Roll Racing is another killer arcade racer on SNES; think of a more beefed up RC Pro-AM, but with a good dose of heavy metal mixed in. This past year saw it re-released as part of the Blizzard Arcade Collection for everyone to experience it! I remember trying out F-Zero at a store kiosk around SNES launch, but was too young at eight years old at the time to fully grasp its style of futuristic racing (or that the name was a riff on F1 racing until a couple of years ago). I was more into a game similar to its style that was the trilogy of Top Gear titles. Uniracers was a quirky racer I enjoyed with its unique aesthetic and one-wheeled racers taking advantage of their nature in races filled with jumps and loop-de-loops….too bad about Pixar holding a grudge against Nintendo and legally forcing them to yank it off shelves. Nintendo’s other racer, Stunt Race FX, was ahead of its time with the polygonal FX-based graphics running pretty chunky on the SNES. Still, it is a commendable piece of 16-bit tech they were just barely able to keep running at a passable-enough framerate. Another FX-chip game that did not originally gel with me was…

-…the original Star Fox. Being 10 when it released in 1993, I thought those polygonal graphics looked blocky and horrendous and would have none of it! Many years later, I would revisit it and rightfully come around on it! -Another Nintendo-published game that received a lot of hype was Donkey Kong Country with its cutting-edge 3D models. They were plastered all over gaming mags at the time. I briefly recall trying out the first and second of the three Donkey Kong Country games on SNES. However, I did not put more time into them because I beat Donkey Kong Land on Game Boy before our family got a SNES, which was just a watered-down port with some remixed levels for the handheld. I enjoyed my time with it, but its disappointingly blunt “congratulations” ending left a bad impression on me, and I never felt like giving the other entries a serious go all these years.

-Some may be wondering why there has yet not been anything dedicated to the pair of Super Mario World titles and Super Mario RPG? Super Mario World was probably one of the first SNES games I tried when I visited my older brother at his first apartment in the early 90s. I think the heavy-duty graphics and trying to comprehend attacking with Yoshi proved to be too much for eight or nine-year-old me at the time. I played it a few other times in my 20s, hanging out with coworkers on retro game nights, and had fun with it, but I think since I was exposed to the NES trilogy more and played the hell out of All-Stars, that those were the versions I preferred more. I appreciated how Nintendo stepped up to Sega’s edgier marketing at the time with Nintendo’s “Play it Loud” marketing campaign. Unfortunately, I think their ad for Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island was a bit too extreme for 12-year old Dale at the time. That ad (click here for it if you are feeling daring)was forever planted in my subconscious and always crossed my mind and indirectly caused me to avoid Yoshi’s Island for all these years. I did pick up Super Mario RPG and it is on my “bucket list” of games to play as well. I am holding off on it all these years because I was hanging out with Matt one day, and he explained how he was having a tough time with the final boss, Smithy. Well, he wanted to give me a quick demo to show how unforgiving of a challenge the boss was….but for some reason his clutch gaming skills kicked in right then, and he beat Smithy and was exposed to the ending right then and there!

-As far as other tough SNES games go, the two most challenging for me are easily Contra III: The Alien Wars and Zombie Ate My Neighbors. Contra III is like the first two games on steroids. I love the boss battles and intense walk-n-shoot chaos, but do not love constantly dying in one shot! Zombies Ate My Neighbors is another fun action-platformer that is also equally tough to make it farther than a few levels in unless you seriously dedicate yourself to it. Hey, both of these games also saw re-releases this past year on current consoles with the Contra Anniversary Collection and Zombies Ate My Neighbors & Ghoul Patrol set for those wanting to experience 16-bit nail-biting difficulty (but with save state support!).

I hope this excellent video review from the quintessential retro video game source, Jeremy Parish, suffices for my lack of any meaningful Super Mario World memories here. -In 1997, I was hyped for a late SNES release, the original Harvest Moon. The farm/life/dating-sim series is still around today from publisher Natsume (as well as the original developers parting ways with Natsume and delivering their own competing Story of Seasons series). During the SNES era, I spent several summers out on a farm. I appreciated rural life's solitude and free spirit lifestyle, and that first Harvest Moon game perfectly encapsulated that. Trying to determine the best way to spend the day tending to the fields, livestock and managing a social/family life was surprisingly fun and engaging! Harvest Moon remain one of two games that I submitted a blurry Polaroid photo to Nintendo Power’s “Arena” high score section. I cannot recall if my score got posted or not.

-The original Sim City port on SNES received a lot of love around the SNES launch window, with Nintendo giving it a unique makeover with bonus Nintendo characters in it and an exclusive tutor in the form of Dr. Wright to ease everyone into the simulation gameplay. I never played too much of that version, but one night at Rich’s, the game we decided to rent that night was Sim City 2000. That one was released way late into the SNES lifecycle and lacked any Nintendo extras the first SNES game had. Still, we stayed up all night playing it and looking at our daily news recap and mayor approval ratings and trying to figure out where to stop underwater pipe blockages! It ran slowwww on the SNES, but we tolerated it fine enough at the time because I had yet to play the PC version. Eventually, I would check out the PC version and came away surprised with so much I had to put up within the SNES game. -For those wanting to dare the Super Famicom scene, there are a plethora of great games that never made their way stateside, and better yet, a hearty chunk of them have received English fan translations. I am partial to the FirePro wrestling games that never made it here that are vastly superior to all the American wrestling games I broke down above, BS Out of Bounds Golf is an addicting take on miniature golf, the original Star Ocean, and the Back to the Future platformer that was not a five-star classic by any means, but blew away the poor NES and Genesis games that did release here. If you are not that familiar with the Super Famicom library, this top 50 list from RVG Fanatic is a great place to start your research and very much helped clueing me into a bunch of Super Famicom games I had little-to-no knowledge of. Conclusion

If you are around my age reading this, you may be wondering why I have not gone on about the fabled “16-bit Wars” by now. Rest assured, I experienced it in the lunchroom and at recess and in gaming magazines at the time. I devoured all the side-by-side screenshots in gaming mags of dual-platform releases to see if I could spot which version was better. I want to say back then, I sided with the SNES because I grew up with the NES, but that does not seem like a fair choice since I did not own a SNES until 1996. Reflecting on it, although I experienced a fair amount of RPGs and other games on SNES with Rich, I primarily played endless hours of Genesis games with him back at the time. So whenever I hung out with Rich, I considered myself a Genesis fan, and when I finally got a SNES and grew my SNES library, I considered myself a SNES fan and avoided a lot of the “console wars” trash talk. For younger readers here who want to learn more about the fervor of the 16-bit wars, the book, Console Wars, and its corresponding documentary (which is currently only available on Paramount+/CBS All Access sadly) are my recommended ways to absorb all that hoopla. I will cherish all of the past 30 years of SNES memories and hope you have enjoyed reminiscing with me for the last several thousand words. If you want to hear more of my SNES memories in podcast form, I have a few SNES-centric episodes of my old podcast I recently un-vaulted and have embedded below for your pleasure. They have some of the friends I repeatedly mentioned above as co-hosts that share their SNES experiences and memories, so please load up a random SNES “podcast game” and boot one of these podcasts up for fitting background noise….

10 years ago I did a 20th anniversary SNES special with Matt!

Here is the history of RPG series episode dedicated to the 16-bit era.

Finally, here is Matt and I hosting the 16-bit installment of our history of comic book games series. Bonus Overtime

It would not be a Flashback Special without one random oddball bonus story to wrap it up with. The only Kirby game I ever finished receives that honor. One day, my brother and his friend Jake were over at my place. We were discussing SNES games at some point, and Jake mentioned how Kirby Super Star is his all-time favorite. I said how I never played it and did not think anything of it at the time, but the next time I met up with him and my brother, Jake had the copy of that game with him and insisted on borrowing it to me and said not to give it back until I finished it. I felt this sudden obligation to play through it as a priority, so I did not feel like I was keeping his game hostage. Luckily, Kirby Super Star is a damn fun game, which the front of the box labels as “8 Games in One!” Most of the games are abbreviated-length adventures of only a handful of missions in their unique theme of levels, and a few of the games are mini-games like a race against King DeDeDe. Regardless, almost every game provided that trademark Kirby lighthearted fun and was hard to put down! Kirby’s Dream Course is also a lot of fun on SNES, and is an interesting take of Kirby meets miniature golf! With that anecdote, I will wrap up yet another Flashback Special. Thank you for sticking with me this far, and If you dug reading about my trials and tribulations with Nintendo’s 16-bit machine, please take a look at the other Flashbacks I have linked below!

My Other Gaming Flashbacks Dreamcast 20th Anniversary GameBoy 30th Anniversary Genesis 30th Anniversary NES 35th Anniversary PSone 25th Anniversary PS2 20th Anniversary PSP 15th Anniversary and Neo-Geo 30th Anniversary Saturn and Virtual Boy 25th Anniversaries TurboGrafX-16 30th and 32-X 25th Anniversaries Xbox 360 15th Anniversary

[imaginesandinserts]

Irreverent Drabbles: Jump House

Title: Irreverent Drabbles: Jump House Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader Rating: G Words: 1394

Irreverent Series Masterlist

ONLY READ THIS IF YOU’VE ALREADY READ THROUGH PART 19 OF THE MAIN IRREVERENT SERIES

It was Jack's birthday and Aaron and Haley had decided to host it together at the old home they used to share, which only Haley lived in now. He wasn't back there much besides the occasional visits to drop off or pick up Jack. Haley or Jess were usually nice enough to drop Jack off at work, making his life easier. A bunch of kids from Jack and Haley's Mommy & Me group were there along with their parents, Jess's family, and the BAU team were all there. Haley had been the one to suggest inviting the team and he realized it was so that he wouldn't feel alone.

You'd arrived fashionably late, dressed in casual jeans and sneakers and looking like you'd be right at home at a child's backyard birthday party. You'd had some trouble ringing the doorbell and when Aaron had opened it, it had been to a giant package with legs. He'd quickly helped you move the box into the living room and then led you out to the backyard.

As the two of you reach the backyard, you can see Jack playing in a large jump house erected to one side of the backyard along with a few other kids. You'll have to catch him later - he looked like he was having too much fun to be interrupted.

"Can I grab you something to drink?" Hotch asks, leading you to where the rest of the team is huddled around the food table.

"Oh, I'm alright, thanks," you say, smiling and greeting everyone else.

Derek and Emily were drinking beers and Rossi had a glass of wine in his hand. You raise an eyebrow at them. At a child's birthday party. Really guys?

"Don't give us that look, kid. Gotta make this bearable somehow." Rossi hands over his glass of wine to you, prompting you to take a sip.

You take a small sip to appease him before handing it back. You're too nervous to drink around all the suburban parents and their children. You hadn't actually ever been to a child's birthday party before and this all felt like some alternate reality of normalcy. Though you suppose Hotch had that effect - he was the person on the team with one foot planted firmly in this world. A world that you'd never get to have.

Right then, a blond woman whom you recognized from the photo on Hotch's desk when you'd first started, came up to all of you. The frame had since been replaced by one with a photo of Jack by himself.

"Hey you all, thanks for coming," she says, smiling at all of you. "You must be Y/N, we haven't met yet, I'm Haley."

You wave and greet her. So this was the ex-wife. You look at Hotch and observe how he holds himself around her. It's easy, laidback. They're comfortable with one another. She asks him to help with something inside and they leave to go do that, while you make your way to where the drinks are, running into some of the kids' fathers along the way. They were all incredibly friendly.

Aaron found himself back outside as the party was dwindling down. Candles had been blown out and Jack had smushed his face into a slice of cake. A lot of the kids had been taken home by their parents. He watched as you chased Jack around the yard as he still had quite a bit of energy left in him. You were laughing and running around and he loved seeing how easy it was for Jack to have fun with you. He'd worried that his and Haley's separation would make things harder on Jack, and in the beginning it had. However the last few weekends with Jack had also been weekends with you and it had made it easier. You'd made it easier.

"I wonder if you'd look at her like that if we were still married."

Aaron turns to see Haley standing next to him, her eyes watching you and Jack just as his had a moment ago. His brow furrows, not knowing what she's trying to say. He wasn't looking at you in any way.

"I think you would," she continues. "I think you'd look at her exactly like that."

"I don't know what you're talking about," he replies, his mouth forming a straight line. He didn't like what she was implying. You worked for him and he didn't think about you in any way besides the way one would think about a coworker.

"Sure. Except, you know, you used to look at me like that."

She turns and walks back into the house before he can say anything else. Aaron finds his gaze wandering back to you - there wasn't much else in the backyard for it to wander to, however. You'd crawled into the jump house with Jack and the two of you were bouncing together, your exuberant laughter dancing through the air.

Haley had watched you from the second Aaron had introduced the two of you. She knew that Jack had spent a couple of weekends with you and her ex-husband, playing at your place. Her son was incredibly enamored with you and your house and she'd found herself incredibly curious about the new agent who Aaron was willingly spending his free time with.

Aaron watched you. Not on purpose. Not with any intention. But his eyes followed you and someone would have to be blind not to see it. She hadn't expected you to be so young. All of the other FBI agents she'd met were closer to Aaron's and her age or older. You couldn't be more than twenty five years old.

She'd watched as you interacted with Jack. Her son who hung on your every word and patiently let you wipe cake off of his face and let you hug him for more than a second. She supposed she could tell why Aaron was captivated. He loved his son - no matter what happened between them, that was something she knew without any conditions. Aaron Hotchner loved his son. You seemed to make Jack happy, so of course Aaron would want you around.

Except, she had a feeling Jack wasn't the only Hotchner who loved being around you. She had a feeling her ex husband was going to have a problem on his hands very soon if he didn't already. Because the way he watched you was the way he'd watched her in the beginning - an earlier, adolescent version of that same gaze that had been hers alone.

Aaron was going to have a problem on his hands - you were twenty five and carefree and she'd watched as you talked to all the fathers at the party. They'd all leaned in a bit to you, they'd all offered to grab you a drink, joked with you, and you seemed to enjoy the attention. You were young and happy and Aaron Hotchner was anything but.

Aaron - when he did love - he loved completely, entirely, all consumingly. You were going to break his heart. Aaron Hotchner - in that capacity - was not a concept for you. To you, he was Hotch. He was your boss who was probably just a little grumpy but who had a cute kid that you loved being around. She had a feeling he'd never be anything more to you and that broke her heart.

She'd felt the need to warn him. Tell him how obvious he was. Him looking at you like that - she had a feeling it was inevitable. If it truly was or if it was just her way of making herself feel better about her own indiscretions, she wasn't sure. Aaron had never confronted her about it, though she was sure he knew. He was a profiler - one of the best - unless it came to himself. She wondered how much longer it would take for him to realize it.

If she set aside her own feelings on the matter, she had to admit that you'd be good for him. There was some jealousy there - he was hers for twenty after all. You were young and gorgeous. You were happy. You would get him all the time and she had never been part of that world.

You'd get everything with him.

If only you managed to see the way he looked at you.

[puckyess]

4 Times His Teammates Said “I Love You” + 1 Time He Did | Ryder Donovan

S/o to @penaltbox for being my favorite brainstorm partner and encouraging the hell out of me. Inspo: @that-fandom-stuck-in-your-head 

I found the one TikTok that was deleted, so now all TikToks are linked!!

** FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED **

Words: 7.5k

Shay Donovan 

You weren’t allowed to have favorites on the team outside of Ryder, but if you did it would be Shay hands down. The relationship you had with him was like that of a brother. He watched out for you and you for him. You’d play the part of his best wingwoman and he supported your relationship with his brother. You’d fight like siblings too. He knew exactly which buttons to press and you knew how to get under his skin. You knew each other well and this is what made you two Ryder’s worst nightmare. You constantly ganged up on him with his brother. You were able to get Ryder to do/fall for just about anything and that made you Shay’s favorite secret weapon.

The boys had some free time this weekend and wanted to make the 5 hour drive to Duluth to spend it on their boat since it would probably be one of the last times they would get to do so with the season ramping up. Ryder’s annoyance for you and Shay began promptly at 6 a.m. He was not a morning person and you definitely weren’t either, but Shay insisted you both get up early so that you get to the boat at a decent time in the day. He did not however, set his alarm for 6 a.m., rather 6 p.m. and was awoken by his brother’s shouts to get out of bed. You, on the other hand, were just running late because you thought you could get ready in a shorter amount of time than was realistic. By the time you and Shay make it down to Ryder, who already has the car packed and ready to go, he’s huffy. “You guys know I hate when you tell me a specific time and then you show up late”.  “Well this should be a fun trip, right Rizzer?”, Shay speaks up with fake enthusiasm. You shoot Shay a look from the front seat as a signal to shut the hell up, to which Ryder appreciates.

The first hour is pretty smooth, not a whole lot of talking going on in the car. Everyone just appreciating the sunrise, or at least that’s what you thought until you glanced in the backseat and saw Shay sound asleep. At your “awh” Ryder moved his eyes from the road to the rear view mirror. “So that’s why it’s been so peaceful”. Even though you laughed you gave Ryder’s hand that was on your thigh a light squeeze. “Don’t be so grumpy Rydes. This is going to be a fun weekend, I just know it”. He can hear the smile in your voice without even looking over and he knows you’re right, flashing you his signature bright smile of his own.

As if he knew he was being talked about, Shay begins to stir. The quietness is disturbed immediately upon his awakening. He takes over the AUX and the road tripping can finally begin. Him and Ryder argue over music, whether to play alternative or country and which has more of a summer vibe, until finally a summer playlist, containing both is chosen. You pick up your phone, scrolling through some Tiktoks when you find one you just have to send to Shay. You watch as he gets the notification and opens it immediately. The music is broken up, replaced with the voice of a guy saying, “Send this to someone you don't like. You look like a rat, and you are so fat. I would be so sad, if i looked like that”. You’re dying laughing in the front seat at the offended look on Shay’s face and the death glare he’s receiving from Ryder. “I hate you” is all Ryder spits out, as this is a regular occurrence in any car ride. You love how you can get Shay in trouble without even really trying and how Ryder only yells at his brother when you’re the one who sent it to him.

The rest of the ride is spent on the highway and though you love the singing of the boys in the car with you, you’re getting pretty bored just watching the trees pass by so you say, “Let’s play a game!”. They both look at you like you’re 12.

“What? It’ll be fun I promise”. They shoot you skeptical looks, but ask what the game is anyway.

“It’s like license plate bingo kind of. You see the type of car first, you call it out and then you get to punch whoever you want”, you say with a shrug.

“Ooo, I like this game”, Shay says rubbing his palms together as he studies the list of “rules” you sent him: Slug bug, no punchbacks. PT Cruiser, get a bruiser. Tacoma, put you in a coma. Kia, wouldn’t wanna be ya, could be substituted with kia kick. Big truck, no luck. Subaru slap. Jeep jab. Honda hit. Train, feel the pain. You read them out loud to Ryder so that he can play too while he drives. Ryder shakes his head as you continue down the list, clearly not as impressed as Shay was.

“Where do you come up with this stuff, Y/N?”, but he agrees to participate nonetheless.

The rest of the ride is now much more exciting, everyone on high alert for a vehicle that would allow them to inflict pain on a passenger. You and Shay are admittedly better and much more active in the game since Ryder has to also pay attention to the road. As a result, he also ends up taking most of the hits, both from you and his brother. Everytime you would excitedly jab him, he’d give you puppy dog eyes. He was easy pickings, as he was right next to you, but the sad eyes did make you choose Shay as your target a little more often.

After Shay slugs Ryder in the arm for about the fifth “Kia, wouldn't wanna be ya”, his personal favorite, Ryder expresses his annoyance for the game. “This is abuse. I can’t even play right since I’m driving. The only person I can hit is Y/N, and unlike some people”, he says, shooting you a look, “I don’t enjoy hitting my significant other”.

You just roll your eyes at him, but Shay is quick to jump in, unhappy that Ryder is squashing his fun. “Awh can widdle brudder not take a few punches? You’re going soft, Ryder” Shay says with his fake baby voice.

You know it grates on Ryder’s nerves like no other so you call the game quits before they engage in an argument in the small space. Luckily, you were just pulling into the drive leading to where the Donovan’s call home. Getting out of the car Shay throws an arm around you, “I liked our game, Y/N. Very fun. We should play it more often”.

You all enter the house long enough to drop off the bags and pack some snacks for the boat. Shay leans over to you. “Want to see something funny?”, he asks with a glimmer of mischief in his eyes. You raise your eyebrow at him in response. “I’m going to get Ryder in trouble with only four words”, he promises. You use your hand to gesture him on to whatever it is he has planned.

“OW, Ryder! Ryder, stoppp!” He suddenly yells. Ryder, who was digging through the fridge, turns around, giving Shay a confused look as if to say “Wtf”.

“Ryder, seriously! Stop!”, he continues yelling.

“Knock it off!”, their mom calls down from upstairs. Ryder’s clued into what’s happening now, giving his brother a little shoulder check as he passes him to drop the strawberries on the island, just in time for his mom to come around the corner.

“Ryder stop!”, Shay yells at his brother one last time for good measure.

“Seriously, Ryder? You two are home for not even two minutes and you’re already trying to test my patience? And with a guest in the house. Did I teach you boys nothing?”, she reprimands her sons and you have to hide your smile as Shay’s plan plays out accordingly.

She’s bringing you in for a hug then and eventually her two sons the same. She catches up with the boys for a few minutes, but knows they’re impatient to get to the boat so she doesn’t chat for long.

Once she leaves the room you turn to Shay, “I have to say, I’m impressed. I didn’t think it would be that easy.” Shay has a very pleased smirk on his lips.

“I used to do it when we were kids, all the time. Good to know it still works now too, isn’t that right, Rydes?” he says nudging his brother.

Ryder looks back and forth between you and his brother, shaking his head. “You were in on this? You two are the worst. I’m about to drive back to Wisconsin and leave you both here”, he says with a huff.

Unfortunately for Ryder, your antics with Shay weren’t finished yet. While he was driving the boat, Shay had found a Tiktok that he wanted to make, but he needed your help to do it. You were lounging at the front of the boat when Shay brought it to you, explaining his plan.

“Okay, so I’m going to sit over there and just act like I’m on my phone, but I’m actually going to be filming. You’re going to put your fingers like this”, he says showing you  his thumb and pointer finger touching like in the ok sign, “and then tell him to do that on his chin, but put it on your cheek. “I want to see how many times it’s going to take him to get it right. My bet is 5. You in?”.

You felt bad goading your boyfriend like that, but you knew he was the perfect victim for it. You loved Ryder, but he was a little slow to catch onto things sometimes. The punchline of jokes? Not his thing, he’d get it a few seconds after everyone else and even then, sometimes you weren’t really sure if he even got it then. It was a wonder how he played such a fast paced game and came up with chirps on the fly. Mulling it over once more, you finally nodded your head. “Yeah, I’m in, but $10 says it’s going to take him 8”, you say with a wink.

Shaking on it, he says, “I like the way you think. You have a deal”.

Getting up you go over to your boyfriend, trying not to feel guilty. “Babe, I have a test for you”, you say as innocently as possible.

“And what is that?”, he asks, giving you his full attention.

“Put this,” Showing him the same sign Shay showed you, “on your chin”, demonstrating for him, placing the ok sign on your cheek.

He narrowed his eyes at you. “Is this a tiktok or something?” he asked, looking around for your phone. Your eyes widened with fake offence as you pointed to your phone over on your towel. “Babe, do you see me filming? My phone is way over there. It’s fine. Just put this on your chin”, you said, once again demonstrating for him.

He looked around, still suspicious. “You’re not going to hit me right? This isn’t another one of your ‘beat up on Ryder games’?” You shook your head, promising him you wouldn’t even touch him. Satisfied with that, he gave in to your request, like he always did and copied your actions. Meanwhile, Shay was trying his hardest to remain camouflage but his brother’s predictable actions were making it very difficult to not start laughing behind his phone.

You repeated your phrase again, “Put this on your chin” and he again mirrored your movements, putting his ok sign on his cheek and looking at you expectantly. You tried again, enunciating the “this” as you watched him. He again put his fingers on his face.

You tried not to laugh, repeating the phrase, trying to clue him in as you said the words slowly this time. “Put this on your chin.” He studied you real hard this time, but copied your placement exactly with his ok sign on his cheek.

You tried again, “Put this,” showing him your ok sign in front of his face and speaking slowly, “on your chin”. This time the poor boy grabbed your wrist, bringing your ok sign to HIS cheek and waiting for your approval. This time you had to let out a little chuckle and as you glanced over at Shay he was ready to bust a gut trying to hold back his laugh. You tried to compose yourself, as you tried to get your boyfriend to do the simple task.

“Put this on your chin” you practically yelled at him. Even though he was frustrated with what you were saying, he had a big smile on his face because you did. “I’m not fucking stupid” he said through laughs and grabbed your hand with two hands this time and put it on his cheek.

You were really laughing now, pulling your hand away and trying one last time. “Ryder. Put this. On your chin”, you said hoping this time would stick. But nope. The boy really put that okay sign on his damn cheek and really had the audacity to look at you to say he did it right.

You took a deep breath, trying to catch your breath from laughing so hard. “On your chin”, and he just looked at you, processing what you just said and then finally his hand shot to his chin and he started laughing again. “Oh shit”. You started cheering for him and Shay practically exploded from his spot as he fell to the floor laughing.

“Oh my god. That was too good. I’m so posting this”, he said between laughs.

“I believe you owe me 10 bucks, Shay. Pay up”, you responded with your hand out.

Ryder once again was stuck looking between you and Shay. “You set me up!” he accurately accused. “And you BET on it? You bet against me?” he said, turning to you. Seeing the hurt look on his face you felt bad.

“Rydes I didn’t bet against you per say, I just guessed how many times it might take you to catch on to what I was saying. I love you though”, you say as you run your fingers up and down his arms at an attempt to get him to forget your tricks. He’s not pleased with your answer though.

Now you’re pouting and sticking your lip out at him, throwing Shay under the bus. “It was Shay’s idea!”.

“Dude!” Shay exclaims.

You roll your eyes at him, “Oh like he didn’t already know”.

The slight frown on Ryder's face had turned into a small smile as he spoke to Shay. “I can’t believe you turned my own girlfriend on me. You guys are being extra annoying today”.

“It’s all for the tiktok, bahd” Shay answers with a shrug, unbothered by his brother’s annoyance.

You, however, spent the rest of the afternoon trying to suck up to Ryder.

“I hate you,” you said as you passed Shay to get to the cooler to fetch Ryder a drink for the fifth time as part of your penance. Shay just grins up at you, shooting you a wink. “I love you too, my little partner in crime”.

---

The following weekend you’re out with the guys, walking down State Street and a car passes your group. Shay glances at you and then Ryder and an ear splitting grin takes over his features. Lightning fast he hits Ryder, yelling “Lamborghini, hit you in your weenie!”.

You stop in your tracks as your boyfriend doubles over in pain and you double over in hysterics. The guys, as well as the few passerbyers who had heard Shay’s outburst look on in confusion.

As you finally catch your breath you move to help your still struggling boyfriend. You crouch down so you can see his face as you ask if he’s okay, but his grimace tells all. There’s nothing you can really do for him but let him breathe it out so you stand back up, high-5ing Shay. “That was pretty good,” you say shaking your head at the memory of what just happened and your road trip from last weekend.

“How long did it take ya to come up with that one?”.

He proudly announces that he’s been thinking of new ones to add to the list all week.

“Whoever introduced you two was a real idiot and is 100% regretting that decision” Ryder says from his still bent over position. You only offer your hand to help him stand straight in response.

Shay’s animatedly trying to explain the game to the boys, who all seem very excited to play. They spend the rest of the walk to KK punching each other and calling out the phrases as they search the cars lining the sides of the road. You walk a few steps behind them with Ryder leaning on you for a little support and maybe some protection.

“You’ve really created a monster now” he sighs, watching the boys.

All of a sudden he strikes your arm. “PT Cruiser, get a bruiser!”, he hollers and takes off down the street, suddenly fine. He looks back at you with a big grin.

You shake your head, “Smooth, Ryder Donovan, smooth” and you chase after him.

Mike Vorlicky

Being in a group chat with a bunch of hockey players meant that you were no stranger to your phone blowing up with nonsense, but you knew the boys were at practice, as Ryder had left for it 15 minutes ago, so when you heard more pings from your MacBook- 4 in a row to be exact -  all from Mike, you knew something was up. Quickly checking your phone, your brows knit as you read the succession of messages, confirming your suspicion that something was definitely up.

“Y/N! SOS.”

“I know you have your phone, I NEED YOU”

“Come on my ass is about to be shipped back to Edina”

“Y/N! I hate to do this, but Ryder got hurt on the way to practice. I mean like really hurt”.

The messages didn’t make sense, but the last one had you calling Mike immediately.

“Oh, thank God-'' he answered, but you cut him off, wanting to know about the status of your boyfriend.

“What happened? How is Ryder? Where are you?”. The pause on the other end of the line had your heart beating in your ears, filled with anxiety and worry for your boyfriend, at least for a moment.

When you heard “Dude she’s gonna kill you” from Cole in the background, a different emotion filled you.

“Mike Vorlicky, what the HELL is going on?”

Despite the anger and annoyance in your voice, Mike still let out a smug chuckle. “I knew that last one would get you to answer your damn phone. But listen-“

“So he’s fine? Nothing happened?”, you asked just to be sure.

When Mike lets out a nervous chuckle you release the breath that you had been holding. “I should hang up on your ass right now, Vorlicky. You can’t just-“

“No seriously, Y/N this is important. You can yell at me later, but will you pleaseeee, pretty please with a cherry on top please bring me my practice jersey? I was serious about coach shipping me out. This is like the third time. He’s gonna bench me next game and my parents are coming to this one...”.

Even though you were extremely pissed off at him for even speaking into existence your boyfriend getting hurt, you also couldn’t deny him or any of the boys when they needed your help and he knew that. After letting out a groan you asked him where the jersey was and made your way over to his dorm. Getting into his building was scarily easy and the jersey was surprisingly right where he said it would be, laid out on his bed. It’s a wonder how he forgot it.

Minutes later you were pulling up to the practice facility and walking through the glass doors that led to the rink. You were met with cool air and smiling faces. As the boys noticed you began to head your way, but not before Mike rushed over. He was coming so fast he barely had time to stop before he hit the boards and wrapped you in a hug, “I love you so much right now I could kiss you” he said, taking the jersey from your hands.

“Don’t even think about it, Vorlicky” Ryder called to him as he made his way through the boys to give you a quick kiss before the whistle blew signifying practice starting, just in time for Mike to slip the jersey over his gear.

Owen Lindmark

Cooking had never been your thing, still having never really gained that skill even after living on your own. But as much as it was not your best quality, it was even less so for the boys that were about to come crashing through your door any minute. Dating Ryder was amazing and equally as amazing were the 20 other boys who’ve you’ve come to call close friends that came along with him.

You had just gotten an air fryer and were excited to test it out. You’d been promising the boys you’d cook for them for weeks and figured what better time to do so than now. They had a big rematch coming up that weekend against PSU anyway so you had told Ryder to invite some of his teammates over for a mini team dinner.

You were pretty impressed with yourself you had to admit. Not only had you planned a full meal and dessert, you had timed it perfectly so that everything was just about finished as you heard the door unlock.

“Honey, I’m hooommee”, Shay called out as he dropped his bag in the pathway of the others behind him.

You shook your head as you stirred the marinara sauce one last time, knowing that the pet name bugged Ryder even though it was a movie line and he was so obviously joking.

“Dude it smells amazing in here”

“What’re we having?”

“I’m starving”, and curses could all be heard as the crew continued to pour into the apartment, the noise and chaos level instantly rising.

You cleared your throat and very dramatically tapped your spoon on your wine glass to gather the boys’ attention.

”First of all, everyone is to wash their hands before eating, please and thank you. Salad is already on the table. You guys can grab yourselves a plate, the pasta is over by the sink, the sauce is right next to it and then the chicken’s already been cooked in the air fryer so it follows your guys’ diets (kind of) and parmesan melted on it so you can just put that on top of the pasta. I have bread in the oven that I’ll bring out when it’s done. Oh and dessert for when everyone’s ready”. You barely finished your spiel before the boys were shoving each other to get in line.

Shay of course had battled his way to the front of the line, claiming seniority, Mike unsurprisingly behind him, followed by Lex, Owen, Cole and Dylan. For being as large as Dylan was, he had been easily bullied to the end of the line. Ryder stuck around, wrapping you in a hug and placing a sweet kiss on your forehead.

“You’re amazing for doing this. The boys haven’t shut up about it all week. You really went all out didn’t you, babe?” He asked with a proud smile on his face. His little acknowledgment coupled with how proud he looked made you blush. You knew he wasn’t lying about the boys obsessing over this meal either, as you had been receiving daily texts from each of them about it.

“Don’t get too excited, you haven’t even tasted anything yet. What if it’s the worst Chicken parm, you’ve ever tasted in your life?” You asked pouring on the dramatics. It was your first time using the air fryer after all, you had no idea how it would turn out and you were a bit nervous, but had warned the boys ahead of time that they may be ordering pizza instead.

Your disclaimer was countered by moans coming from the living room, a chorus of them actually. You and Ryder share a look before busting out laughing. “I guess there’s your answer for ya.” He replies, followed by a “No one better be having sex out there”.

You shoo him along so that he can eat with his friends and you can grab the bread out of the oven. After slicing it and putting it on a plate you deliver it to the vultures in your living room and prop yourself on the armrest of Ryder’s chair, rubbing his back as he eats.

The boys don’t stop gushing about your cooking as they continue to shovel food in their mouths. “This is seriously- the best meal- no, scratch that- food- I’ve had in months”, Cole says between bites.

“Hey, I just made you that really good burger and Mac cheese thing last week and you gave it 5 stars!” Dylan protests.

You and Owen lock eyes and instantly start laughing. “Dyl, did it come in a red box with a glove on the front?” You ask, still giggling. His eyes light up, happy that you recognize it and he nods.

“Dude, that’s Hamburger Helper!” Owen howls.

“And an insult to Y/N’s cooking”, Alex chimes in.

”Even this salad is more gourmet than Hamburger Helper, sorry bro”, Cole adds.

At this point everyone’s laughing at Dylan’s expense, yourself included. He’s immediately apologetic, hoping he didn’t truly insult your cooking, which just eggs the boys on assuring him that he did in fact insult you.

“Yeah, that’s like comparing Wayne Gretzky and Shay in hockey, but for cooking”, Mike chirps, feeling the need to get involved.

”Nice one Mikey. Dylan fucks up, but let’s roast Shay”, Shay retorts.

You grin, loving being a part of the relaxed banter that’s going on but wave them off. Dylan attempts to grumble out his weak defense, claiming that he’s from Canada and didn’t know about Hamburger Helper, just making you giggle harder.

“Okay, okay okay,” you say in an attempt to calm yourself and the room down. You were wiping tears from your eyes. “I’m going to go get the dessert so you clowns can get out of my apartment”.

Once in the kitchen you opened the cabinet by the fridge and felt around for the plate of brownies you knew you’d hidden up there so that the boys, specifically your boyfriend, wouldn’t pick at them before dinner. You felt a pair of hands on your hips. You had expected it to be your boyfriend, but with his body slightly pressed against yours you knew it wasn’t him.

“Need some help?”, the voice confirmed your thoughts. It was Owen.

“Please”, you said, accepting his offer.

He grinned once he pulled the plate down and saw the perfectly proportioned brownies. You had used one of those baking pans that had individual brownie shapes so that every piece had four edges, the best part and Ryder’s favorite.

“I love these, my mom makes ‘em like that. Smart to keep these hidden from Ryder”, he says with a wink. Though his tone is light toward the end with the little chirp at Ryder, you don’t miss the hint of sadness that laced his voice in the beginning. And he doesn’t miss the look of concern on your face either.

He puts the plate down and leans against the counter. “I love you for doing this tonight. I really can’t thank you enough. I needed this, the laughs, the home cooked meal”, he confesses, running a hand through his hair.

“Missing home a little extra?” You ask, knowing exactly how he feels.

”You could say that. I know the guys and I don’t say it enough, but we love you and appreciate how much you take care of us and keep us sane. What you do for Ryder is obvious, but stuff like this that you do extra for us, making a really good dinner and dessert, always letting us hang out here, and come to you with our problems. It means a lot”.

Not really having words for all that he’d just told you, but wanting to show him you really did care for him too, you wrapped your arms around him and gave him a good squeeze.

“Awh, O. I don’t know what to say. You and the boys are like family to me. You always have a second home here.” The sentimental moment is broken up by Mike shouting about dessert and someone telling him to shut up and stop being rude.

“I guess we better get this dessert to the boys so they can get out of your hair”, he says grinning.

Before letting him go you pull back and say, “Tell your mom I said hi when you call her later”. He picks the plate of brownies back up and you make your way toward the rowdy group occupying your living room.

��You know me too well. But I surely will let her know. I’m sure she’ll appreciate you keeping me alive”, he says with a chuckle.

Dylan Holloway

Everyone was huddled close together in the dimly lit booth as it came down to just Roman and Dylan, each with two fingers on the full pitcher in the middle of the table. The two boys were half out of their seats staring each other down. Roman had a smug smirk on his face as he watched Dylan sweat it out across from him, his mind clearly going a mile a minute.

The guys had just swept PSU and were definitely feeling themselves tonight. They decided to opt for the usual celebratory tradition of KK and Fingers, a game that Dylan was historically terrible at.

It was Dylan’s turn and he was still shaking his head, both at himself for overthinking a simple drinking game and at Roman who was continuously chirping him, which was not helping him decide. He only hoped the winning luck of the night would continue as he began counting down, “Three, two, one - two!”, Roman yanked one finger off the pitcher as Dylan left his two on, for a total of three fingers.

The team erupted as Dylan threw his hands in the air, “Fuck! I always lose this stupid, fucking game”.

“Drink up, bud!”, Roman chided him, pushing the pitcher closer to him on the table.

Dylan just groaned and stared at the full pitcher of unknown alcohol with a grimace.

“Come on, Dyl, you know the rules. Or at least you should, you’ve lost enough times by now”, Shay chirped from behind him. You felt bad for the guy because Shay wasn’t wrong. Of the handful of times you had watched and played the game, Dylan had lost all but maybe twice.

“You’re right Shay, maybe we should spice it up this time, eh? What do we think boys?” Mike suggests with a devilish smile and a rub of his palms. You don’t miss the look that he shares with Roman and your eyes narrow in on the boy who suddenly has a mischievous look in his eyes.

“Dylan, I dare you to go ask that girl for her number”, he challenges, nodding toward a blonde who had been looking over at the group.

Following his gaze you notice who exactly it is that he pointed out and you choke on your drink. You want to stop Dylan before he makes a fool out of himself, but he easily gulps down the pitcher and quickly makes his way over to the girl waiting for him. You can’t get your words out as you’re sputtering and coughing from your drink.

When you finally catch your breath you give Roman a shove and hiss “Fuck you Ro. What’re you doing? Aren’t you talking to that girl?”. He doesn’t answer, just shrugs as he watches on with a smirk plastered on his face, as if he knows exactly what is going to happen. Ryder nudges you in confusion at your little interaction with his teammate. Moving closer to him you filled him in on the unknown drama that was going on. “I played wingwoman for Roman a couple weeks ago so that he could pick up this same girl. Of course with my 90% success rate, he got her and I guess kept her. He’s been texting me about her all week”.

Suddenly understanding, he said “You have to go save D. The guys will never let him live this down” and you knew he was right. A freshman hitting on an older guy’s girl? Even if it was on a dare and even if her and Roman were just talking, it would still be embarrassing on Dylan’s part and chirp content for the team for the weeks to come.

So with a flip of your hair and a pat to Roman’s head you strode over to where Dylan was flirting with the blonde. He was really pulling out all the stops trying to earn this girl’s number, you had to give him that. You would even say that it actually appeared to be going well, but judging by the look that was on Roman’s face, you knew it wouldn’t end well.

“Excuse me, mind if I borrow him real quick? No? Ok great, thanks! I’ll give him back in just a second!”. You gripped his wrist with both hands and all but yanked him off the barstool until he was stumbling toward you, very confused. Once you were a few feet away, you steadied him with your hands. He was clearly annoyed with you.

“What the hell, Y/N? what’re you doing? I need to get back there. Things were actually going well”.

“And you will, D just listen to me for a second. I’m trying to help you here”.

“Help me? What’re you talking about?”.

“Dylan, Roman’s been talking to that girl for weeks now. He’s just trying to set you up because he knows she won’t actually give you her number because she’s with him so you end up coming back to the table empty handed and the guys can chirp you for weeks about trying to get with Roman’s girl”.

Realization washed over his face as he took in the situation. He glanced over at Roman’s now displeased but confused face and back at the girl who was seemingly waiting for him to return to the empty seat next to her.

“Whatever you have to do to get that number Dylan Holloway, do it. You can’t come back to that table empty handed, got it?”. He nodded furiously. “Good boy. Now go charm her pants off!” And with that you sent him on his way and returned to the group, all of whom were looking at you with quizzical faces.

You just shrugged it off saying, “He just wanted me to check if he smelled like beer. I guess she hates that stuff, only drinks Claws.” With that, Roman shoots you a look, knowing that was a load of shit and a jab at him. Her hatred of beer and love for white claws had been one of the many “fun facts” he had shared with you over the week. His attention turns as the guys erupt once again in cheers as the girl plants a kiss on Dylan’s cheek and sends him back to your table. He smiles victoriously as he stops in front of Roman. “I hope you don’t mind sharing your girl, she seems pretty into me”, he says and drops the napkin with her phone number on it on the table in front of Roman. The “ooos” and hollers from the boys are golden, but pale in comparison to the look on Roman’s face. Ryder fist bumps him and Dylan leans in to give your hand a squeeze, “I love you so much for that. The look on his face? Totally worth it. Really saved my ass. I owe you”.

+1

Ryder wasn’t one to overuse the phrase “I love you”. He held great value in those three words and reserved them for times when it was just the two of you or for when the moment deemed necessary. Today was one of those moments.

He had gotten home from practice early to find you out on his balcony wrapped in a blanket and your computer on your lap. He hadn’t thought much of it as he shed his bag and went to wash his hands and make a snack, but the door was cracked and he could hear a familiar laugh that wasn’t yours. He stopped what he was doing and listened for it again. As if right on cue, his baby sister’s laugh found his ears. He debated with himself whether or not he should make his presence known. Curiosity eventually winning out, he decided to wait it out and see what his two favorite girls were talking about. He’d be lying if he said his heart wasn’t ready to burst at seeing you voluntarily FaceTiming his baby sister.  

His snack forgotten, he sat himself on the couch out of view and just listened and watched. He watched the way your hair fluttered with the breeze, how you focused your attention on the girl on the screen, and nodded your head in agreement with whatever she was saying. He watched the way you interacted with his sister and couldn’t deny the feeling that was consuming him.

Even more so he watched the way Clara’s face lit up as you spoke to her, a look he’d seen before, one she reserved for her big sister. It was one of idolization, respect, and love. He watched her smile and her head tip back as she laughed with you like you were her best friend. Mostly he watched as the two of you had become part of each other’s lives in a way he hadn’t even known.

He listened to the beautiful sound of your laugh mix with hers and to the way both of your voices were so animated with each other. He listened as you spoke naturally with her, your kindness genuine instead of just treating her as some little kid. He knew she hated that but had unfortunately had her share of heartbreak by girls who only used her to get to him. He hated that he had caused her any kind of pain, but loved that you had somehow found a way to right his mistakes. He knew right then and there that he’d never take you away from her and she wouldn’t let him.

His thoughts were broken up by you reentering the apartment.

“Having a stalker moment there, Rydes?”, you ask him with eyebrows raised.

Deflecting the question, he clears his throats and instead asks what you guys were talking about. “Didn’t you hear the whole conversation already?”, you tease him. He just rolls his eyes, so you divulge as you pull stuff out to make dinner.

“We were just checking in. She was making sure you were still alive, taking your vitamins, treating me right, our usual. She had some drama stuff, but V is busy getting stuff ready for the baby so she didn’t want to bother her. Oh, and we’re planning your sister’s baby shower! Well, Clara’s in charge but she wanted my opinion on some details”.

The feeling he had before as he watched you two only intensified as he discovered what you had actually been talking about.

“What do you mean your usual?”

You’d stopped adding ingredients to the pot as you looked up at him, realizing you had just let Ryder in on something you hadn’t planned on. “Um. You know how you FaceTime Clara every week? Well uh, I do too...that’s ok right? That’s not like weird?”

He processed the information you had just told him. You actually took the time out of your busy life to get in touch with his sister every single week and were asking him if that was ok? He hadn’t even imagined you doing that, but you continued to amaze him. The smile he gave you was so warm and full of love. “Of course that’s okay. I love that you do that and I’m sure she does too. I saw the way she looks at you, you know. The same way she looks at V.” Your heart swells at his comment and you almost start crying on the spot.

“So she’s coming to you with drama huh? Anything I should know about?”. You laugh and default to “girl code” aka Ryder doesn’t get any deets. Despite his best efforts, including puppy dog eyes, he doesn’t get anything out of you.

“You’re MY girlfriend, you can’t let my sisters convert you to their side already” he whines.

You laugh and respond with “Well would you rather I convert to your brother’s side? I’m sure Shay could pitch a good argument.” He looks offended that you’d even say such a thing and grumbles out a “no”.

After he’s decided he’s done pouting he comes around the counter and wraps his arms around you from behind, nuzzling his face into your hair. “You told Clara I treat you well, right?” He questions, still thinking about your conversation with her. You’re surprised to detect nervousness in his question and that he’d even ask that. Turning in his arms you answer him, wanting him to see the conviction in your face when you say “Of course, Ryder. You don’t ever need to doubt that, baby”. He looks relieved and surprises you again with a confession.

“Good. I want Clara to see how she should be treated. What good love looks like, a healthy relationship, ya know?”.

Tears start form in your eyes and it takes you a second to find your voice. Eventually you do and you gently pull his face down to yours, running  your thumb over his cheek. You melt over the way he leans into your touch. Even though your voice is barely above a whisper, it’s strong as you tell him, “You’ve made me the happiest I’ve ever been. You show me what love is everyday and inspire me to be better for you and for me. You are such a role model to her Ryder. When she looks at us, I promise you all she will see is genuine, pure love.”

His heart is beating so hard as he absorbs your words. He takes your wrist and pulls your hand to his lips. He kisses your palm then cups your face in his hands, bringing your foreheads together. His own eyes are glassy and throat thick as he tries to put what he’s feeling into words that will convey the same amount of strength and emotion. “Every time I think ‘she can't get any better’ you surprise me. Well not surprise me because I’m not surprised you get better, but- fuck! I can’t get my words out right now.” He can feel you smiling and takes it as a sign to keep going.

“What I’m trying to say is you keep loving me and showing me that you love me in new ways that I didn't even know existed. You’re always taking care of me before games, after games and practices. Even just asking about practice and my day and coming to my games, waiting up for me after road trips. The highs of winning and you right there with me are amazing, but what I love most and what are even better are when you sit there and watch us lose, me lose and you just know how to deal with me afterwards. I can’t tell you how much it helps me to have you hold me after a game or offer dessert or just let me bitch about it. The lows are better because you still want me after. Like even if I couldn’t play hockey anymore, you’d still want me. You still believe in me to do better next game. You inspire me to be better. Off the ice especially”, he takes a deep breath then and as badly as you want to say something, you don’t interrupt him knowing he still has more to say. 

“You’ve shown me what it feels like to be loved. Really, truly loved. You take care of my friends, regardless of what they need and you do so out of the goodness of your heart. Watching you with my family, I can’t ever imagine you being anywhere else but a part of my family, Y/N. The fact that my favorite people in the entire world love you makes me so happy I can’t even describe it. You’re FaceTiming my baby sister of your own free will, planning a baby shower with her for my other sister? You keep up with Shay and get Boden out of his shell. I couldn’t dream it up better if I tried. I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but somehow I was blessed with you and I swear to you, promise you I will never stop loving you, ok? I love you with my whole heart and then some, Y/N”.  

The tears are absolutely streaming down your face and into his hands and his into yours. The moment had gotten so intense and so fast. These were rare between you two, preferring to keep the relationship light and fun, but occasional moments like this where you attempted to pour your whole heart and soul into each other would occur and you were left breathless every time. But of course, you couldn’t resist a good chirp.

“You’re gonna have a hard time topping that for a proposal, Donovan”.

[itmighthavebeenintentional]

The Rose

Summary: “She’s fifty today, and in Dean’s opinion, there’s never been anyone more beautiful.” An alternate Dean reflects on the life he’s led. 

Warnings: SEASON 15 SPOILERS, bit of angst. 

Author’s Note: A follow-up to “Dear Mr. Fantasy,” which introduces this Alternate Dean. Beautiful header by @there-must-be-a-lock , editing and general flailing by @there-must-be-a-lock​, @thoughtslikeaminefield , @fangirlxwritesx67, and @cracksinthewalls .

Word Count: 1573

ItMightHaveBeenIntentional’s Masterlist

The Rose

She’s fifty today, and in Dean’s opinion, there’s never been anyone more beautiful. The day is pleasantly warm for this far into autumn, and she basks on the flannel blanket he spread out in the (more or less) exact spot of their first date some thirty years earlier. Thirty of the best years, he believes to his bones, that he doesn’t and could never deserve, and yet here they still are. 

And he just can’t keep his eyes off her.

“Any regrets?” she asks. She tilts her head back, eyes closed, soaking in the afternoon sun with a carefree abandon that never fails to steal his breath. She’s not talking about their afternoon off (he only closes the shop this one day a year, outside of Sundays and holidays). 

She means everything.

He knows his answer already, but still, he stops to think it over before saying anything. He’s getting more thoughtful in his older age, but even so, she always deserves his full consideration.

The wind shifts, a breeze ruffling the dark tendrils of hair that have escaped her braid. She cracks an eye open, glancing over as she waits for him to speak. She’s always been so patient with him, giving him time to gather his thoughts, knowing when he needs a push and when he just needs room to think.

Dean doesn’t tend to regret, in general. Sure, there are some things he planned on turning out a little different. When he was a teenager, he always dreamed of traveling around, maybe taking Sam on a coast-to-coast road trip when the younger Winchester graduated high school. 

But then Dean got it into his head he needed to learn bikes, John Winchester talked to his friend Danny Elkins, and Dean got started at Danny’s motorcycle shop. Four months later, she showed up with her dad’s forgotten lunch. 

He wouldn’t call it a life-changing moment so much as finding the north for his internal compass.

Kids were always on Dean’s radar, a big raucous family to drive the two of them wild and leave them exhausted but content (at least, he always figured his mom and dad were content), but for whatever reason, offspring just wasn’t in the cards for them. 

They’d spoken occasionally of adopting, but the shop needed more attention when Danny had his heart attack, and then Mary needed extra help around the house when John had his own. And though both men pulled through, Dean always felt obligated to stick around a little more, give a little more of his time and himself. 

After all, Sam had his wife and kids and college classes to teach. And once a month, when they were still young enough, Dean got full custody of his twin nephews and their younger sister while Sam and his wife went off to whatever getaway they could find within driving distance.

Dean’s always suspected they simply holed up at the house, turned off their phones, and slept, but he could never find any hard evidence.

And now even Sam’s kids are more or less grown and working on their own lives. The twins diverged from their childhood inseparability, with one working for an environmental non-profit while the other makes more than a decent living as an electrician. And though Dean’s niece is still in high school, she works in the shop on weekends (as long as she keeps her grades up) and is showing a clear affinity for the family business. 

So, yeah, once upon a time, he’d figured he’d wanted kids, but when it didn’t happen, they made the best of what was given, and neither of them was irrevocably torn up. She’s it for him, always has been, even when he didn’t know it. He’s never needed anything else. 

“None big enough to mean anything,” he murmurs, turning and squinting towards the setting sun. 

The breeze picks up again, sending a cold thrill down his spine. He can’t keep the crease from between his eyebrows, so maybe he can hide it for just a little while longer. He hears the rustle of grass, feels the blanket shift, and then she’s lifting his arm to drape it over her shoulder.

Yeah, there’s no hiding anything from her.

“Then what’s eatin’ at you, baby?”

He pulls her closer reflexively, tucking her against him in that spot that he swears was made to fit her. She smells of apples and nutmeg, and he knows that, even though it’s her birthday, there will be a hand-made pie waiting for him when they get home. 

He can see her perfectly in his mind, slicing up apples or rolling out pastry while she sings whatever song is stuck in her head that day. Bette Middler has been big for her lately, and while he’s definitely had his fill of Beaches, he’s pretty damn fond of hearing “The Rose” in that particular, melancholy way she sings when she’s distracted.

“God, I love you.” The words just spill out sometimes, and Dean stopped feeling embarrassed long ago. 

She takes his free hand, twining their fingers together, and waits.

“It’s the dreams again,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper. 

He’s not scared (Dean Winchester doesn’t get scared by something as immaterial as a nightmare), but something akin to worry gnaws his gut too often recently. 

Dark dreams, dreams of hunting and being hunted, but by nothing of this world; dreams of blood and loss and a cold, cruel creator with no thought for anyone’s wants except his own. 

For as long as he can remember, Dean has dreamed of other lives, other hims, adventures and dangers, and life and death. Sam is always there, always by his side, sometimes for the good of them both, but sometimes for the detriment of... well, everything.

Time runs differently in those other lives: sometimes he’s a kid again, sometimes he’s middle-aged. He never dreams of older selves anymore, though, not since he hit his forties.

But in all those other lives, all those other worlds, all those other Sams and Deans, there’s never another her.

And that’s enough to have him thankful to wake with her in his arms every goddamn day of his mundane, adventureless, utterly perfect life.

In the last few years, the last few months especially, the dreams have changed. Some have gotten worse: the monsters are bigger, faster, more vicious. Sometimes the other Deans have lost too much, lost their Sam, lost their family, lost everything. Sometimes they’ve given in to the drink, to the despair, to the siren call of the darkness and become monsters themselves. 

But the worst ones are the empty dreams. He’ll spend what feels like hours staring into starless voids, places he knows used to be teeming with life. Sometimes he’ll get an echo of which Dean, which dream used to exist there. A flash of a memory, a laugh, a scream, but mostly it’s just vast, empty stretches where everything is…

Gone. 

Dean shivers again as the wind picks up, creeping through his denim jacket with the thrill of the inevitable. She rubs the knuckles of his right hand just as the usual ache begins, and his lips curl up slowly as he meets her eyes.

Dreams are exactly that, whether they’re the day or night kind: ephemeral ideas that mean nothing unless you let them.

And she’s the only dream he’s ever found that can stand up to the light of day.

“Same dreams. Just need to shake ‘em off, get my head back on my shoulders where it belongs.”

“Well, Mr. Winchester,” she says, turning in his embrace and trailing very real, very warm fingers over his cheeks, “I can think of another place you can put that pretty head of yours, if you like.”

He lingers in their kiss, takes the time to trace the fine lines next to her eyes, to soak in the sight of her, golden and radiant and absolutely his. His calloused fingers brush over her cheekbones, tuck a stray hair behind her ear, tilt her chin up just so. 

He drinks her in slowly, savoring rather than submerging, no matter how the seed of desperation in his gut sprouts and grows. 

He can feel the change in the wind, not just here in the meadow, but in his bones. Something is changing, has changed already, but hasn’t quite caught up to them, and it’s not going to be good. Dean knows it with the same certainty that he knows there’s nothing he can do to stop it. 

But here, in this field, with the love of his existence in his arms, that dread seems too massive to comprehend, too immaterial to give consideration.

“I’m here, baby,” she murmurs. 

She can’t hear what he’s thinking (god, he hopes not), but she knows him, knows when his mind isn’t all in, and she deserves better. 

He shuts the door on his nightmares, one and all, stuffs the dread down deep in a place where it will stay until he falls asleep. 

“Happy birthday, sweetheart,” he whispers gruffly against the crown of her head, his heart and throat tight. 

He takes in a breath that only shakes once before forcing the last bit of shadow from his thoughts. This is her day, and she deserves so much more than half his attention. She deserves everything he’s got to give and more.

For however much time they have left.

[floatingpetals]

My Faire Lady || Ch. 1

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader x Bucky Barnes (Renaissance Faire Au!)

Warnings: Nothin’

Word Count: 3300+

Summary: Going to a Renaissance Faire wasn’t what she had planned to do over the weekend, but a drunken promise between friends can’t be broken. Full of magic and festivities, she never thought she would enjoy the fair as much as she did. Nor did she ever dream she’d catch the eye of not one, but two gorgeous Knights of the Queen. Bestowed with their tokens of affection, she found herself swept into their arms for a weekend she’d never forget. She was under no illusion, there was no chance this could ever be more than a fantasy at the fair. They would move on, and so would she. It didn’t mean she wasn’t going to enjoy this while she could. (18+ Only Story) 

A/N: The first part to I don’t know how many parts!!! I have this whole story planned, fortunately, but as you can tell from the very first chapters word count, it’s gonna be another long one lol. I’m super excited about this story! I hope you all enjoy, please please please reblog and comment! Thank you and enjoy!! 

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 *Coming Soon* | Series Masterlist

“Oh come on!”

Y/N rolled her eyes at the whine from her couch and ignored her friend. She leaned closer to her computer and tried to focus on the editing at hand. She needed to get these pictures finished so she could send them to the publisher for print. She didn’t have time for Coby’s whining.

“Pleaassseeeee?” Coby threw her head back against the pillows and let out her loudest and most obnoxious whine ever.

Y/N scoffed and shook her head.

“I told you no!”

“But you have to come!’ Coby whined again. She sat up and twisted around on the couch, hanging over the edge. “You promised!”

“I didn’t promise you anything!” Y/N argued, straightening her back to turn and glare at Coby. She wasn’t dumb enough to ever promise anything to her friend. No matter how much she might love her best friend of ten years, Coby fought dirty to get her way. Y/N learned from her mistakes and swore to never do it again.

However, when she turned to glare over her shoulder, she stopped short at the wicked grin on Coby’s face. Her blood drained from her cheeks, fear coursing through her veins. Oh no.

“Oh but you did, dear lady friend,” Coby replied with a diabolical sneer. She pulled out her phone and unlocked it, tapping away a few times before the sound of Y/N and her whispering filled the room. Y/N’s breath caught in her throat. Oh no. How did she forget about that night?

“Oh god,” The recording of Y/N groaned. There was a slight slur to her words from the drinks she’d gone through already. “It’s Tim. Please dear god don’t come over, don’t come over, don’t come over-Oh no he’s coming over.”

Coby laughed, then the sound of shuffling and Y/N’s voice groaned again.

“Coby, please. Do something!”

“What do you want me to do?” Coby stifled a laugh.

“I don’t know! Get rid of him!”

“And what do I get out of it?” Coby inquired. At the time, Y/N didn’t catch the underlying treachery in Coby’s voice, but now she heard it loud and clear. She was really hating past drunk her right now.

“I don’t- Jesus. I don’t care! Anything you ask-just please get rid of him!”

“Anything? You promise?” Coby drawled. Y/N on the recording grumbled in response.

“Yeah, yeah, I promise. Just get rid of him! I’m not spending another night listening to him gloat about his big his dick is again.”

“He doesn’t do that.”

“Bragging about your daddies company you did shit to earn when the man retired is the same god damn thing. Coby!” Y/N hissed the panic mounting. Coby laughed and she could hear her friend begin to stand.

“Alright, I’ll get rid of him. But you better be ready to keep that promise.”

“You’re a lifesaver, Coby!”

The audio shutoff and silence rang through the room. Coby smirked triumphantly and tucked her phone away in her pocket with an extra flourish. Y/N’s mouth fell open, mentally running through the number of ways she could get out this. Yet at every corner she took, she hit dead ends. Now she was backed against the wall and there was no knight in shining armor to come save her. Coby clapped her hands together, that wicked smile back as she pinned Y/N with a stare.

“You’re coming with me this weekend. And that’s final.”

Y/N gulped. She was never drinking again. True, she was not a fan Tim but she wasn’t that desperate to sign her life away to the devil’s incarnate. This was going to be another plane jump trip, wasn’t it? Coby saw the way Y/N blanched at the prospect she was going to be dragged someplace to do something dangerous once again and snickered.

“You can stop freaking out.” Coby snorted. “I don’t have plans to go shark diving until the summer. I got plenty of time to get you to come then.”

“The fuck you will!” Y/N’s eyes bulged in their sockets. Coby threw her head back and cackled at the horror in Y/N’s eyes.

“Oh stop, you know you’d have fun. But seriously. This isn’t like that.” Coby waved her hand. “I want you to come with me to the Renesaasnce festival this weekend.”

“Uh-huh….” Y/N squinted, her heart still racing at the threat of swimming with the sharks. This, however, wasn’t as scary as that venture but still not any less comforting. There had to be a catch. “That’s too easy for you.”

“Well, of course, it is,” Coby smirked. “I don’t always want to get my heart pumping every chance I get. I do enjoy the simple things.”

“You’re not simple.” Y/N interjected flatly. “You’re the furthest thing from a simple person.”

“Shush.” Coby waved her off. “Anyways. Like I was saying, I want you to come with me this weekend to the Renaissance Faire. Josie’s mom got sick and she needs to help take care of her, so I have one free ticket for the weekend with a meal plan and a free beer in the beer garden each night. I know you’ve been working nonstop with the magazine and even if it’s just a weekend, you need a break.”

Y/N blinked, actually amazed. For once Coby wasn’t using this as a means to see how far she can push Y/N out of her comfort zone, but instead wanted to help? What the heck happened to Coby and where did they take her friend?

“Don’t look at me like that.” Coby bristled at the alarmed expression on Y/N’s face. “You’re coming. That’s that.”

“Really?” Y/N raised a brow. “You aren’t going to make stand up against a wall and let people throw knives around me? Or shoot arrows at an apple on my head?”

“I never said that wasn’t a possibility. Is it so wrong to want to spend the weekend with my best friends?” Coby shot back. Y/N was taken aback at the hurt in Coby’s tone, but also could smell the catch quickly creeping up on her.

“You keep saying the weekend.” Y/N uttered slowly. “What do you mean by ‘weekend’ Coby?”

“Oh right, that. The tickets include access to the campground.” Coby smiled innocently. “And I already have our tents for us.”

“Wait. What?” Y/N asked in disbelief. “Coby I’m not sleeping in a tent for a weekend at the fair!”

“Oh, it’ll be fine. They have showers and bathrooms, so running waters no problem. And besides, the closest hotel is almost an hour away and I do not want to waste time sitting in traffic trying to get in place.”

“I’m not-.”

“Or if you want,” Coby examined her fingernails, picking at the cuticles. “You can say no and I use the promise for the sharks.”

Y/N’s mouth snapped shut at that. Coby knew she had her when she looked back up, that stupid smirk on her face.

“Best get packin’ sweetheart. Cause you and I both know this is the lesser of two evils.”

Y/N let out a hot breath of air, her shoulders sagging in defeat. Coby was once again playing dirty. She didn’t have to do the pros and cons list. Sucking it up and going on this weekend trip would be a thousand times more enjoyable than being forced to go in a cage in the middle of the ocean. And Coby knew it.

“Fine. What time do we leave?”

“Oh, this is gonna be so much fun!” Coby slammed the trunk shut and bent to grab her bags and her tent bag. Y/N grumbled next to her, holding her own bags, tent, and camera case. “Oh quit whining. This’ll be great.”

Y/N just rolled her eyes and followed her friend to the entrance. The fair wasn’t open for another hour, Coby insisted on leaving at the butt crack of dawn to get here. While the two-hour drive up was rather uneventful it wasn’t until they reached the turn for the road that led to the fair where Y/N understood why Coby was so adamant about the time the left. The cars were backed up all the way to interstate and they were forced to sit for what felt like hours just to get in the parking lot. She wouldn’t admit it to Coby, but the idea of staying on-site and avoiding that whole mind-numbing ordeal was sounding a lot more appealing than the alternative.

Even though this wasn’t exactly her plan for her weekend, Y/N was ready to make the most of it. Once she got some caffeine in her. Coby chatted about everything they had here, from the food to the archery lessons, to the different shows throughout the fair. Not to mentions the shops that Y/N was itching to get a look at. Most, if not all the buildings were built as if they were taken straight from a fairy tale book and had Y/N excited to snap a few photos of. Perhaps she could even get a few people to pose for photos in front of them.

“Why don’t we go set up our tents and put our stuff up, by then the gates should be open and hopefully the line will have died down some.” Coby interrupted, eyeing the mass of people stating at the entrance. Y/N hummed and nodded, following her friend as she led her to the other entrance.

Y/N couldn’t tear her eyes away from all the people dressed up. There were plenty of other sprinkled in there that wore regular everyday clothes, no doubt just wanting to enjoy the fair, but then there were those that wanted to fully immerse themselves. Men, women, and even their children were dressed head to toe in loosely accurate portrayals of medieval outfits. Men wore puffy shirts and leather vest tucked in their dark cotton pants with leather boots. Some women sported similar outfits while others wore dresses and corsets that did little to the imagination. Some were dressed as characters from Lord of the Rings, there were even pirates, fairies, and elves. At one point, she swore she spotted a few Tieflings from Dungeons and Dragons, their faces painted with horns to match. There was so much going on and she was finding it hard to focus on where she was going. The atmosphere was bubbling with excitement and Y/N felt a smile stretching across her face. 

Coby had to reach around and tug Y/N’s arm to face her forward when the other woman started to drift, the corner of her mouth turned up into a smirk.

“I swear you’re like a child.” Coby joked. Y/N scoffed and stuck her tongue out.

“Oh shush. I can’t admire their confidence?”

“Mhm,” Coby smirked her wicked smirk and led them through the campground gate after flashing a ticket to the attendant there.

“Okay, so we’re in section V, plot 15 and 16.” Coby stopped at a map right at the entrance, showing the rows of campsites in the gated off area. There were already several dozen tents up with a few dozen more that were being pitched as the stood there. Y/N was surprised how large the field was, and how organized it seemed. She could see the markers in the rows with the letter down a middle path. “Ah, there we are, towards the back! Ohhh we’re next to the worker's sites too!”

“Is that bad?” Y/N frowned.

“Nope, it means we might get lucky and they’ll hook us up with some free food and beer if we’re nice.”

Y/N snorted and rolled her eyes at Coby.

“Come on,” Coby resituated her bag on her shoulder. “Let’s get this set up and then we can go in. I don't’ wanna deal with it later after we’ve been in the sun all day.”

Y/N followed Coby, still marveling at the number of people around her getting ready in their costumes, most adding the final touches. The closer they got their spot, the more she saw of the costume. It made sense, if the workers were right next to them then they see a lot of them. She was a little envious of their tents, tall pavilion, and marquee tents made of thicker material than her camping tent, some stripped or decorated with symbols like the ones she’d seen in movies. Clearly, they wanted the workers to look the part, even at night away from the crowds. 

Coby eventually stopped at two empty spots and tossed her stuff on the ground a motioned to the plot next to her, clearly marked with the number 16.

“That’ll be yours. There should be instructions in the bag.” Coby started unpacking hers and paused to look up at Y/N. “ Need help with your tent? ”

“Nah,” Y/N shook her head. “I’ll figure it out.”

Coby snorted. “Alright, but don’t come crying to me when your tent becomes a kite cause you forgot to stake it to the ground.”

Y/N just rolled her eyes again and went to work. After twenty minutes of wondering what the heck the instructions meant by attaching J to H, Y/N set up her tent, a round top with plenty of space for at least three other people, and secured it to the ground.

“Remind me again why we can’t just share tents?” Y/N asked, standing outside both her and Coby’s tent with her hands on her hips. Coby shot her look that told her everything she needed to know. “Oh for the- why did you get me a plot further away from you? I don’t have to hear that!”

“I’m not saying it’ll happen!” Coby chuckled and ducked in her tent. “But I’m not passing on an opportunity if it arrives!”

“It’s one weekend! You can’t last one weekend without a booty call?” Y/N groaned. When Coby didn’t reply she crawled into the ten to see what her friend was doing. Coby was bend over her bag, the second one that Y/N thought was odd she brought and was pulling out a few folded pieces of fabric.

“What are those?” Y/N eyed the garments nervously. Coby paid her no mind and continued pulling things out. She set a dark leather corset aside along with matching lace-up boots. “Coby. What are those?”

Slowly, Coby turned to Y/N with her wicked smirk.

“Why our outfits, my dear friend.” She replied ominously.

“What? I’m not wearing that!” Y/N sat back on her heels.

“Yes, you are,” Coby replied with a no-nonsense tone. Y/N blinked.

“Um. No?”

Before she could argue further, Coby spun on her heels from her squat position and pinned Y/N with her stare.

“You promised.”

“Yeah but not this!”

“It’s apart of the promise! We’re here, we’re gonna enjoy this weekend and we’re gonna be part of the fun. That means dressing the part. Do you really want to spend all weekend complaining cause I’m making you wear this?”

“I’m not going to feel comfortable in a dress!” Y/N tried. Which wasn’t completely false, but she really didn’t want to get all dressed up in a tight corset that she’d be sweating in later. It was already warm as it was in the tent, just imagining the leather boots and leather-wrapped around her waist made her overheat. And the chaffing, she didn’t want to think about the chaffing. Coby raised a brow, see right through that feeble attempt at arguing, and sat back as well.

“Two words. Shark. Cage.”

Y/N opened her mouth, but the protest died before she could even start. Once again, Coby had her there. She let out a grumble and stuck out her hand, a sign of defeat. Coby nodded with a smug smirk and handed her the pile of clothes and a pair of brown lace-up boots from her bag. Y/N noticed there was just a brown belt instead of the corset Coby seemed to have.

“Now go change and I can make sure you put it on right.”

“Yes, mom.” Y/N grumbled and crawled out to go to her tent. When she zipped her tent up behind her and unfolded the clothes, she was rather surprised by the dress. It was a heavy cotton dyed robin egg blue with a fitted bodice that flowed out at the waist. It was relatively simple, it didn’t have an intricate pattern save for the embroidery on the collar. The front was laced up with brown leather string, and the sleeves appeared to be detachable from the dress, the same brown laces trying the fabric together. There was an off-white long sleeve slip made of a lighter material she figured would go underneath the dress to hide her skin exposed from the where it peaked out from the lace. The belt itself was just a simple brown leather belt with a ring loop. Surprisingly simple and something Y/N actually wouldn’t mind wearing. Of course, Coby would have thought this through. Now she felt bad arguing, Coby might enjoy terrorizing her from time to time, but she wasn’t heartless.

Letting out a heavy breath, Y/N began to undress and slipped the costume on. She was surprised how it fit her body, hugging her frame in a way that flattered her more than she could have expected. The dress did flow out, not too long that she was worried she’d step on it when she stepped and let enough air up the skirt to keep her cool. She did have to re-tie the lace on the front to the right adjustment for herself, but all in all, it didn’t feel horrible to wear. Coby knew her size, so this shouldn’t have come as a surprise. How long had this woman been planning this?

She was sitting on the ground tying up the laces to her boots when Coby unzipped the tent and stepped in. She had changed into her own dress, and Y/N felt infinitely better with the dress she was given. Coby the ever daring had a dark red skirt with a black puffy off the shoulder top. Her black corset was tied as tight as it could go, and her already full chest was practically spilling out the top. She had pulled her hair back into a pretty braid that fell over her shoulder and even had on a pair of hoop earrings. Now Y/N really understood the reason for the two tents and wondered if she could possibly find some earplugs somewhere.

“Oh good! It fits! I knew you’d want something simple and I guessed on the height, so I’m glad I got it right.” Coby beamed and set a brown leather bag beside Y/N. “Here, use this to carry your stuff in. We can’t have you walking around in the dress and then ruin it with your everyday purse.”

Y/N didn’t even argue this time, just took the bag, and tossed her stuff from her purse into the back. It was unassuming, just like her dress but fit the style and timeline she was trying to go for. It was also big enough she could slip her camera inside if she took the lens off.

“Alright. So the gates should be open, but I was talking with one of the workers and they said we can come in the employee gate since the lines so long.”

It never ceased to amaze Y/N how Coby could just do things like that. She could charm just about anyone into doing what she wanted with a smile. A part of Y/N was always a little envious of how Coby had little to no fear when it came to meeting new people. Y/N wasn’t shy exactly, but her anxiety and passed relationship troubles always reared their ugly heads and made it harder for her to open up. She just wasn’t as naturally charismatic as Coby and was perfectly fine admitting she never would be.

“I want to grab something to eat first since all we had was those breakfast burritos on the way up here. Then I wanna go-.” Coby climbed out of the tent and started listing off all the things she had planned, the woman going a mile a minute. Y/N was just here for the ride. Stepping out and zipping up her tent, Y/N followed her friend and smiled along with Coby, her friend's excitement contagious. Even though she was nervous about the dress and everything, Y/N was still excited for whatever the weekend had in store.

[twoblueheartslocked]

Seblaine- Present Day (End Of July/YEAR 1)

Para: Now I Wake Up By Your Side My One and Only, My Lifeline

Rating: NC-17.

Pairing: Seblaine.

Sebastian: @colorsicantsee

Blaine: @twoblueheartslocked

Time: Year One: Present Day- End of July, about a month  after You’re Every Song I’ve Ever Loved. 

Location: Sebastian’s Apartment- Manhattan, New York

Info:  Blaine gets brave and spends the weekend at Sebastian’s apartment. Blaine lets himself explore Sebastian even more. They have a heart to heart.

Warnings: This particular Para is smutty and sweet. Also has major mentions of past abuse. This rp as a whole mentions past abuse(Physical, mental and sexual), post unwanted sexual situations, anxiety, depression, negative body image, drug use, alcohol use, cussing, death(parents).

Extra Warnings: (This RP is not Kurt Hummel friendly. You’ve all been warned.)

Title Taken From: Dress by Taylor Swift

Under Cut for content.  As usual, the para is mostly unedited.

 Blaine’s POV:

 The scorching July sun beat down on Blaine as he swiftly and hurriedly shuffled down the last two blocks to get to Sebastian’s apartment, head down so people would leave him be. It was the kind of melted butter day where the world  felt too bright and sticky and everything had a muted orange sheen to it, like an old film from the 1970’s. Still there was beauty to it, the way the early evening glow slowly dripped and sizzled over the city in a lazy haze. He was still a bit frazzled from his short subway ride over to Manhattan, his arms still tightly locked around  Soot’s little cat carrier to clutch her close. She seemed to be just as anxious as he was, her orange eyes wide and worried.

 He hated taking the Subway, it was cramped and people liked to talk to you and get into your face and sometimes they even tried  and succeeded in touching you. People screamed at each other and sometimes there were fights and it was all so triggering that he almost regretted doing it, however, it was the fastest way to Sebastian’s apartment and he didn’t want his boyfriend to think he was completely incompetent. He’d declined Seb’s offer to send an uber or taxi and declined his offer to send his driver. He’d also declined Seb’s offer to drive over himself… He’d told him he’d be fine and to just let him do this. Because Blaine wanted and needed to do this on his own. 

 If he were going to be making an effort to visit his boyfriend at his home more often he needed to get there on his own. Seb managed to get to him just fine. They’d spent the last seven months sort of pretending that Blaine’s little slice of Brooklyn was the only part of New York that existed and it was entirely selfish of Blaine to ask that it remain that way. He used to love Manhattan, but now he only came here rarely for certain school things he couldn’t do in Brooklyn. However, maybe with Sebastian he could learn to love it again. He was an adult and he was getting better and more comfortable with himself and his skin every day that he spent with Sebastian in his life. 

 He tried not to think too hard about that though because here he was, acting as if he’d taken a huge step and yet he’d had to bring his cat with him like a security blanket. He’d told Seb it was because she was scared to be alone for the two days Blaine planned to be gone, but he knew that it was entirely for him. Soot would have been fine on her own. She liked to sleep in his window almost all day and played with her toys loudly at night more often than not. With enough food and water she’d have been fine for forty eight hours. Blaine just couldn't bring himself to close the door in her adorable little face and walk away for that long though. Seb had promised him it was okay for her to come and that he’d already taken care of what she’d need there even before Blaine had asked. Of course he did.

Blaine finally managed to find Sebastian’s building, the brick on the front of it a light shade of grey, which was surprising because it appeared so clean, light colors wouldn't be so clean on Blaine’s block. The alternating greys were so different from the grimy brick on his

Building and Blaine instantly felt self conscious. He took a deep breath and pulled Soot’s mini crate closer, shushing her little mews gently as he tightened his grip on his backpack. 

 “You can tell he’s here, can’t you?” Maybe she couldn’t, but the little ball of energy suddenly was all meows and feistiness as they neared the entrance of the building.  Seb had been around at least two times a week since they’d gotten her and Blaine had secretly taken to calling Seb her papa in his head. Not that he’d ever say that to his boyfriend or anything. But she loved him and he seemed to enjoy her just as much, spoiling her each time he visited. It seemed Sebastian had a thing for spoiling those he cared about- Blaine was still reeling from the compact little record player that had been sent to his apartment not even three days after their record store date. The thought made Blaine smile and he felt himself relax as he pushed Seb’s buzzer and before he knew it he was standing just inside Sebastian’s apartment, his shabby slip ons mucking up the perfect hardwood. 

 The one bedroom apartment was huge by New York City standards and built for a bachelor.  Blaine wanted to curl into himself. Creeping thoughts about how if he touched the walls or the floors with his fingers his fingertips would leave grime behind from his own home. He knew it was silly, Blaine kept his tiny, shabby place clean and cozy and made the most out of his fleeting space. But, standing here in Sebastian’s gorgeous, minimalist space he felt like a speck of rust that ruined an otherwise perfect surface. The only indication that Sebastian even lived here at all was the blue Columbia University blanket crumbled on the sofa, showing Blaine that maybe Seb fell asleep there sometimes, and a few folders stacked up on the small, two seater breakfast bar. Probably some items for summer classes or things for his next semester. 

 Blaine bit his bottom lip to steady his breathing before setting down her crate so that he could reach out for his boyfriend. He pulled him close, feeling his body instantly melt into his touch. He gave Seb a hello kiss and in return Seb gave Blaine a smile that only he got to see and it told him he was being ridiculous, that he shouldn’t be afraid of an apartment, especially one that Sebastian spent his free time in.  He pulled back after his kiss, but did not pull away. 

 “Your apartment is pretty much exactly like I imagined it. Very… you.” He smiled, trying to keep himself in line. Blaine was finished with classes for the summer and had taken to working extra hours at Bookish and the bar so that he could pick up the slack and so that he wouldn’t get behind on bills and rent and things for Soot, so even thought they’d seen each other the same, it felt a bit like he’d not seen Seb much even if it weren’t the truth.

“Is it completely silly to say I’ve missed you this week?” 

Sebastian’s POV:

Sebastian spent his morning cleaning. Sure, he could have called somebody in to do it, but he liked to do it himself. Plus, it kept his hands busy and the surprise swell of nerves in his stomach at bay. The apartment was always spotless but he wanted to impress Blaine. He even ran to the store and grabbed a few groceries, as his kitchen was usually pretty bare except for a few essentials (bread, peanut butter, coffee….) Seb grabbed some oat milk, pancake mix, cinnamon, and bacon. He liked it when B made them breakfast for dinner and recognized the ingredients from his own kitchen. Blaine would probably enjoy working in a pretty much unused kitchenette. 

He’d bought a small litter box and litter (which was confusing as fuck, Clumping? Scented? Dust free?) and set up the disgusting thing in his small laundry room. The setup this time was just as bad as when he helped his boyfriend with his, and little flecks of gray got all over the clean tile. Sebastian immediately regretted not buying something to set it on. The messes would be worth it, though, to make Blaine comfortable in the apartment. 

 Sebastian was laying on the couch when he heard a small knock on the door. He looked through the peephole to see the other man clutching his pet carrier which was such an endearing sight that a small grin spread across his face. He opened the door and the two of them were immediately in an embrace.  “Is that a good thing?” Seb looked over his shoulder around the living area. “I know it’s sort of plain but, it’s less to worry about.”

 Sebastian stepped aside after another kiss so that B and Soot could come inside. “Not silly at all.. I’ve missed you, too. Like...a lot.” He bit his lip and raised his eyebrows and hoped his boyfriend would catch on to the implication he was trying to make. “And we have two whole days to make up for that.” Sebastian reached out and pulled Blaine in again for a few playful kisses that ended up sort of intense, with hands under shirts and sighs on lips. He would have let Blaine press him into the door right then and there if it weren’t for the small shrieks escaping from Soot who was still in her crate. 

 “Should probably let her out and get acquainted with the place.”

 Blaine’s POV:

 “It’s a good thing, Seb and it’s not plain. It’s organized and simple. A little afraid perhaps? Like maybe you’re afraid to show too much of yourself to anyone that might come over. Lucky for me I know you, and maybe one day you’ll have a classy Wonder Woman poster over your sofa instead of a blank space.” He winked, grinning in his teasing and hoping Sebastian didn’t take an offence to his assessment.

 A little tremor of desire slid down his body and rested in his core as Sebastian told him he missed him a lot. Blaine could hear the thinly veiled lust edging out Sebastian’s sure voice and he wanted nothing more than to show him right now that he’d missed him just as much. He licked his lips, his breath hitching and body buzzing with anticipation of just what might happen over the next two days. 

 Slowly, the thought of being in a strange place didn’t feel so strange when Seb was looking at him like that and when he was touching him with care and affection.  Even now Sebastian was looking out for him. His boyfriend clearly had things on his  mind, very much seemed to want to do more than just kissing, but he made sure to start everything softly, something Blaine still needed. He made sure to pull him close and kiss him gently first and then made his move. Sebastian’s long fingers gripped at Blaine’s hips under his shirt and just above the band of his jeans, and Blaine kissed back with just as much intensity, his fingers slipping up Seb’s shirt to toy with the faint trail of hair that dusted his tummy and lead to parts of his boyfriend body that he very much wanted to touch and tease.

He could feel the tightening of desire in the pit of his stomach with each slide of their tongues. It was a feeling that he was relearning wasn’t a bad thing as he and Sebastian got closer and became more confident. Blaine wanted him more and more as the weeks and months marched on. The want and act of asking or better yet, showing how badly he needed and wanted to be touched was something he thought he’d never feel positive about again. But, with Sebastian he found himself imagining more experimental things. Since they started getting intimate over the last few months they’d explored, of course. They’d touched and tasted each other, and had moved together in Tagore sheets. Blaine had had panics and Seb had even had some moments where he sort of tensed up for a second only to brush it off in the heat of the moment. They always fell into rhythm and seemed to reach each other’s body perfectly, but sometimes Blaine found he wanted to whisper filthy things to Sebastian or he wanted to nip at his flushed skin while his boyfriend moaned underneath him.

 Sometimes they’d be having sex and Blaine’s fingers would rest against Seb’s slender neck and his boyfriend would tilt his head back as if giving him permission to do what he wanted to him and Blaine would wonder what it would feel like to squeeze just a little bit. Wondered if he’d feel the frantic flutter of Seb’s heartbeat under his fingertips, or the rumble of his intensified moans. He wanted to pin Seb’s arms above his head and press them firmly into the pillows to keep him from touching either one of them, make him beg for every little roll of his hips and then kiss the breath from him until he couldn’t take it anymore. The thoughts always edged him even closer. Only then he’d remember what Kurt had done, all the bruises on his own neck and the name calling and slut shaming. The ridicule and power trips that turned into Blaine lying there afraid to move.  None of that was consensual or fun and the thoughts made him second guess what was right and he’d end up just sliding his fingers into Seb’s hair or pressing them against Seb’s chest to where at least he still got to feel his heartbeat in some way

 How could Blaine ask for anything like that after everything he’d been through? Surely Seb would think he was projecting, right? It didn’t feel that way to Blaine though, to him it felt like trust. Like he was able to be himself and maybe these were things he was into before his life went to shit with his parents in that crash, before their deaths crushed him to almost nothing. Before he himself, and then  Kurt shattered what was left…Maybe one day he’d work up the courage to just ask what Seb might be into, and maybe he could give it to him.   Still, he was getting better, and knowing that was enough for him for now. He was more comfortable with being desperate and breathless for his person.

 Blaine didn’t want to let go, he’d worked up the courage to slip his hand down the front of Seb’s pants and just as he was about to wrap his fingers around his boyfriend Seb stopped kissing him. He reluctantly withdrew his hand and could still feel the heavy weight of his boyfriend’s arousal on his fingertips. They had time. Apparently Soot didn’t like seeing her parents get intimate. He sighed, the little annoyed meows beckoning them to part and Blaine had the urge to just open the little door and let the little baby terror find her own way round the flat. He straightened his shirt and adjusted himself, uncomfortable from how hard he was now and having to abruptly stop. He bent down and opened the door. Soot’s petite head instantly poked out and she gave them both the most annoyed look as if to say; hey, I’m the most important, how could you forget me in there? Blaine gave her a smile and coaxed her out more by pitching his voice a bit.  

 “Come on, sweet little beastie. Come tell Sebastian thank you for letting you crash his super clean home.” He laughed as she seemed to do just that as she pranced over to Sebastian and head butted his ankle as a hello. “Couldn't just fall asleep in there for like an hour, could ya?” He was teasing of course. Soot pretty much always came first. He looked up at Seb, his boyfriends face was still flushed, and his pupils were still wide with want and Blaine wondered if they’d make it to nightfall at all. 

 “I don’t suppose you’d like to give the two of us a little tour? That way she knows where to eat and go to the bathroom and I get to see the place where I may let you get some sleep tonight.” He knew he was blushing as he said the last part, his lips curled into a bashful smile, his voice suddenly very shy. He had surprised himself with his little innuendo.

 “I mean, well, you know what I mean…”

 Sebastian’s POV:

Seb sighed and tugged his clothes back into place. He smiled when the small black cat bumped his ankle affectionately and looked up to find Blaine who seemed just as disheveled as he was. “Scoop her up and I’ll show you where I set everything up.” Cats were usually pretty disagreeable when it came to carrying them around but it seemed like Soot didn’t mind anytime B held her. They both probably needed the comfort after such short, hard lives. Seb led  them to the small laundry room where the litter box and food were set up. “I forgot to get a water bowl so, hopefully this will work. I,uh, stole it from a restaurant a while ago.” He pointed to the porcelain tea cup gilded with gold paint. “I was drunk at this stuffy place and...well, yeah. It’s a cat dish now.” 

 They let Soot sniff around her new digs as they walked around the rest of the apartment. She seemed a little afraid but okay, already comfortable on the arm of the couch. He motioned towards the bathroom and his bedroom. Sebastian stood outside of the open door and felt a thrill spark low in his body. “I expect you to keep me up late.” 

 He reached forward slowly so as to not surprise Blaine and toyed with the collar on his shirt. “I know exactly what you mean. It’s super hot when you talk like that.”  Seb bit his bottom lip and let his free hand reach for the door handle behind him. “Why wait for night?” He opened the door and walked backwards with his hand gently pulling Blaine inside.  The room was just as simple as the rest of his place- a small black dresser with a matching nightstand and bed decked out in all navy blue. Maybe letting B decorate with little splashes of color might be a good thing but they had other business to attend to at the moment. 

 “The bed is awfully comfortable…” He sat on the edge, B stood in front of him. Sebastian’s hand slid down his boyfriend’s clothed chest to cup him through his jeans. “I think the sheets need a little messing up, though. Don’t you?” 

 Blaine’s POV:

“You stole a teacup? Adult drunk you must’ve been a character.” It was destructive, sure, but it was a harmless prank and no one got hurt. Of course there was a good reason Sebastian didn’t drink anymore, things like this had become hurtful in different ways. Seb was sober now and Blaine was proud of him. But he couldn’t help himself and fought a smile as he took in the sight of the little cat box and dishes Sebastian had set out for the little ball energy. Soot sniffed around, stole a few pieces of food and darted off in the direction of the living room, satisfied. She was nervous but he could tell she felt safe here, how could she not, she had both of her favorite people to watch over her. Before Blaine could say much  more she had turned herself into a vibrating  loaf of black fur on the arm of the couch.

 Blaine let himself look around the bedroom, it was pristine and hardly looked lived in. However,  the navy blue was a comfort, it reminded him of Dalton days and nights spent driving around the Westerville back roads with Sebastian by his side, hand in hand and belting out terrible pop songs. But it was much bigger than his room now. It was more open and the bed was bigger, it didn’t look like it would squeak if you put pressure on it. He had a small moment of panic, he’d gotten used to the way his bedroom walls encased them, keeping them safe as they moved together, but that was silly and Blaine knew it. He looked up at Seb, his words sending a little thrill through him. He knew that Seb’s arms could keep him safer than the flimsy walls of his apartment and that what he was missing was the familiarity of it all. He licked his lips, the lust and desire returned times ten to the pit of his stomach.

 “I think I can do that…”

 He trailed off as Sebastian reached out for him gently, his skin prickling pleasantly where his fingertips very lightly touched his neck as he toyed with his shirt. He moved forwards with Seb as his boyfriend sat down on the edge of the bed and touched him through his jeans. Sebs’s lips were quirked in a sly smile and yet he was still aware of what Blaine needed to be comfortable, still showed his hands and even though he was guiding him, he still let Blaine call the shots. Blaine bit his bottom lip, his breath hitching as Seb’s fingers caressed him through the thick cloth of his jeans. He closed his eyes for a moment, collecting himself, steadying himself. He felt overwhelmed again, as was always the case with Sebastian, that he wanted too much all at once. He wanted to touch him, taste him, fuck him, wanted to make him squirm underneath him, wanted Seb to kiss bruises into his sensitive, forbidden neck, wanted to watch as Seb swallowed around him- eyes always bright, heavy and wanting as he did so. The thoughts made his cheeks heat up as he reached out and cupped his boyfriend's face in his hands, and pressed his hips into his fingers.

 “My plan is to keep the bed messy all weekend long…” 

 The words were murmured against Seb’s lips before he licked into his mouth. He pressed on Sebastian’s shoulders  down and over so that he was lying back against the bed, his head haloed by blue pillows. Without thinking too much about the late afternoon light still surrounding them and leaving nothing hidden, he pulled his shirt over his head and let it drop to the ground before moving to undo his own jeans, watching Seb’s face as he stripped down. He was still self conscious in his skin, years worth of abuse leaving him that way,  but he loved the way his boyfriends eyes devoured each bit of skin he exposed, like he wanted to taste it all. He was getting better. He made sure Seb saw all of him before moving to tug Seb’s sweats down and he wasn’t disappointed that that’s all he had on, his boyfriends cock sprang free and hard and it was so satisfying to Blaine that he was already so hard just from kissing and looking. 

 He watched Seb for a moment, his boyfriend stretched out over the bed, his legs already spread fo him and waiting and god he was fucking perfect and Blaine felt that creeping want to pin him down and just have his way with him wash over him. He blushed, a little ashamed of himself at the thought, but not enough to get rid of the thought entirely. He motioned towards the nightstand, a usual palace to keep condoms and lube and wasn’t surprised that they were there, but a little surprised that Seb had gone out and gotten Blaine’s specific type. It made him feel good, even though it was basically a given. He took one out of the box and took the lube before moving to the bed and crawling up so that he was between Seb’s spread legs, his head rested against his thigh as he slowly stroked him up and down before taking him into his mouth. He tasted like soap and a tangy flavor that was just so Sebastian that Blaine moaned around him, wanting nothing more than to taste the rest of him. He slicked his fingers up, his tongue swirling around the head of Seb’s cock, his eyes locking with his boyfriends, silently asking if he was doing okay. He wasn’t even sure he was good at this anymore, and had been made to feel like he was terrible at all of it. But, being with Seb had shown him that wasn’t true. He felt bold today, maybe not as bold as he wanted to be, but bold enough to take control for a moment.

 He let his slick fingers move from Seb’s cock and down fondling and tugging in all the right places before gently pressing two of them  inside of his boyfriends body, slowly pumping them in and out as he sunk his mouth all the way down on his, relishing in the feeling of him in the back of his throat and heavy on his tongue. Seb’s legs fell open even more in response. 

Sebastian’s POV:

 Sebastian loved the confidence that Blaine had as he pressed him into the bed and undressed in the glimmer of the Manhattan golden hour. He caught a glimpse of the old B, before Kurt had taken him and torn him in half like a piece of junk mail, when he crawled between his legs. Their eye contact didn’t break once and his lips were quirked into a little smirk. If he wasn’t so fucking turned on and hard, he’d mention that he was proud but, that could be a topic for later. 

 He let his body be open and ready. Seb wanted Blaine to know that he had him and had his trust and could do whatever he wanted. They could go as slow or as fast as he wanted, Sebastian wanted to experience it all with him. They had so much to catch up on, after all. 

 Seb sighed as he felt Blaine’s head rest against the sensitive skin of his inner thigh. Goosebumps spread over his arms and it felt like the burn of desire raced from his cock all the way to his toes and up to his fingertips. Seb’s hands came up to grip the pillows by his head, his back was arched and his knees bent. Everything B was doing felt wet and hot and perfect.  As Blaine kept it up he knew he was going to come, but that didn’t mean he wanted it to stop. 

Sebastian’s hips rose and his body shook as he came, Blaine’s name on his lips. He felt the other man hum around him and Sebastian could fucking swear that his eyes rolled into the back of his head. 

 As Blaine nuzzled and kissed his belly, Sebastian tried to catch his breath. 

 “B…” Sebastian reached for his boyfriend’s flushed face so that he could look at him. “If you wanna keep going....I want you to do whatever you want to me.” His voice sounded gruff and shaky but he wanted the message to be clear and consensual.

 Blaine’s POV:

Blaine could feel Sebastian contract around his fingers and couldn't help but moan as Sebastian came sudden and hard into his mouth. He did his best to swallow every last drop he could get, enjoying the salty sweetness. He was slowly letting himself learn that he didn’t need to feel bad about how much he liked the taste.  It was intoxicating, like a drug or drink he couldn’t seem to get enough of. Maybe he’d be embarrassed about it later, but right now, in this moment he let himself really feel the moment. He was so fucking turned on as his boyfriend reached for his face and his raspy, post orgasm voice telling him he could keep going almost sent him over the edge right there.  

Seb’s eyes were heavy, and his legs were shaking still as he came down and there was something about the thought of knowing he still got to fuck into him even though Seb was already satisfied. The thought of getting to touch and use Seb’s overly sensitive body made him bite his bottom lip to keep from moaning again. He kissed Seb’s tummy again, nuzzling his nose into the soft trail of hair there before gently climbing up his body and settling between his legs. He held the other man's face between his hands and pressed sweet yet dirty open mouthed kisses against his lips trying to show him how much he loved him and how bad he wanted him at the same time. 

 “You sure? We can stop whenever you want...” He mumbled the words between kisses, pulling back just enough to really see Seb’s face. He nodded, his eyes going wide and serious for a moment only to go heavy and full of lust the next. Blaine reached between them and found the condom he’d gotten out and fumbled only for a second getting it open before sliding it on with slightly shaking hands, he made sure he was slick before pressing his fingers into Sebastian’s body one more time. Of course Seb was still ready and he knew that, but Blaine couldn’t help himself, he wanted to feel the wet heat one more time before lining his cock up and slowly pressing himself deeper and deeper. Seb moaned and so did he and that was all he needed to get himself moving. He fucked into his boyfriend slow and hard, each roll of his hips feeling better than the last. He wasn’t sure if it was the way Seb moaned for him or the way his fingers pressed into his hips, but Blaine was losing himself in the moment. A primal want took over his body in a way it had not in a long time. Maybe he could have a little bit of what he’d been thinking about. Just a little bit. He trusted Seb, knew he’d tell him if it was too much, and Seb trusted him. Blaine knew that. He knew that he could have whatever he wanted if only he were brave enough to ask for it. Why had he not asked before? The answer lay with the shame and ridicule Kurt had put him through, but he pushed that to the back of his mind.

 He nipped at the pulse point in Seb’s neck lightly, delighting in the little gasps that got him. He took a chance and slid his hands to where Seb was gripping his hips and took hold of both of Seb’s wrists before pinning them down on either side of his head. He pushed them into the pillow, using them for leverage as he fucked into him, never taking his eyes off of his boyfriend's face, wanting to make sure it was okay, but also wanting Seb to open himself up even more. 

 “Spread your legs a little more for me…” His voice was low, almost not even there. 

 He squeezed just a little tighter, rocking his hips down and into him just a little harder.

 “You like it like this, don't you? You like the way it feels...” They were statements and questions all wrapped into one, he felt nervous yet confident that he was doing something Seb and him both enjoyed. He was almost shocked that he’d said anything at all, that he was able to pin his boyfriend down, something that an hour ago was only a thought in his head… He moved his lips close to Seb’s ear, snaking his tongue along the shell before breathing his question lowly into it. His fingers still closed around his wrists pinning him down tightly.

 “Can you come for me again?”

Sebastian’s POV:

 Sebastian’s body felt shaky and amplified, it was the feeling of lighting firecrackers and trying to run fast enough to get away, adrenaline and excitement racing hard through veins. He nodded up at Blaine whose intense eyes never left his. Seb loved the way it felt, the twirl of pleasure and pain felt dangerous and delicious. He considered himself well read but he’d never be able to put into words how good he felt and how it was all made better by the confidence that was peeking through in B’s hands and hips. 

 He did as he was told, his thighs ached a little but he didn’t mind it. His boyfriend had a firm grip on both of his wrists, the contact made him moan. He was so impressed by the primal little things the other man was doing to him. Blaine’s skin was hot and a little bit slick with sweat. Sebastian’s body already felt like it could go again. His cock was hard again and fuck, this was Blaine fucking Anderson, looking at him while rolling his hips into him. Could he come again?

 “Fuck yeah.”

 His voice was barely there but the message was heard. Sebastian knew that the other man had him. Maybe he had always known that, even when they hadn’t spoken for years, even when the phone rang at 2 AM and drunken feelings took over, even when they had avoided each other out of pain or nerves. Blaine would always be patiently waiting, Sebastian would always be ready to jump to catch the other. 

 “Love you.”

 Blaine’s POV:

Blaine was so in the moment that he barely registered the ache in his legs and hips as he pressed into his boyfriend. He hardly noticed the time as it passed. All that mattered was Sebastian around him and the open mouthed look of pure want on his face. Sebastian was looking up at him like he was everything and it made Blaine feel more alive than he’d ever felt before. It was one of those many times where he wanted to bottle the whole last hour up and save it for when he felt insecure or  meek. He didn’t know he had this in him and Sebastian had brought it out of him with patience and encouragement.

 His body acted on it’s own accord when Sebastian reassured him in such a small voice that he could come again. The thought of Seb falling apart underneath him all over again sent little shivers down his spine in anticipation of getting to watch it happen before letting himself feel that release. Blaine leaned down and nipped at  Seb’s neck before soothing the spot with his tongue and lips, losing himself in the moment, his hips rolling slow and deep. Sebastian was just so open for him… He was so lost in the movements and wanting to make Seb feel good that he almost missed the whispered words. 

 “Fuck… Seb…-”

 He lifted his head and looked down at his boyfriend- Seb’s eyes focused on him and it was so raw and so sweet that Blaine’s hips stuttered and he lost the control he’d had. His orgasm hit hard and fast and maybe he should have been embarrassed that an I love you could send him over the edge, but this I love you came from Sebastian and it meant everything and Blaine could have cried with how much it all meant to him. He tried to steady himself, his face pressed into Seb’s neck as he rode the waves out. He pulled back to look down at his boyfriend, one hand sliding from Seb’s wrists to gently cup his face, the other slipping between them so he could touch Sebastian, wrap around him and help him reach the top so he could catch him as he fell back down . 

 “God, I love you back so fucking much.”

 His words were soft and stilted, hard to get out but still clear as day. His breathing was still heavy from his movements. He did his best to stay pressed inside, wanting Sebastian to feel him inside of him as he stroked him through. He leaned forward and licked into his mouth, the kisses still a bit dirty but with a sweetness to them that only came from loving and trusting someone. His words were quiet and trapped between their teeth, tongues, and lips as he spoke, meant to reassure him for more than just tonight.

 “I’ve got you…”

 Sebastian’s POV:

The connection between them felt raw and powerful. They didn’t even need to speak to understand each other. Blaine could read the thrum of Sebastian's heartbeat, the arch of his back. It had always been like that, it had always been meant to be like this. He kept his eyes on B, he wanted to watch him tumble apart, wanted to hear him moan his name- his favorite sight and sound. Seb could feel his boyfriend’s hips stutter, his grip tighten around his wrists.

“C’mon, B…” Seb whispered and coaxed B through his orgasm. 

Blaine’s warm hand on his face, the feeling of him still inside, it all made him humm with pleasure. He could live off of the whispers the other man left on his lips, the feeling of a smile against teeth, a gasp against the side of the other’s mouth. 

Sebastian knew that Blaine had him. If there was something he never had to doubt, it was that. That was why everything hit so hard when they fell apart before, if B wasn’t there, who really had his back? Who else did he have to laugh into the phone at midnight with? Who was there to reach through his stormy mind with nothing but a smile? He nodded, he knew Blaine understood.

 Blaine’s firm grip and kisses helped him fall over the edge once more and Seb was wrapped up in the other man’s strong arms immediately. They lay wrapped around each other, heavily breathing and kissing each other’s cheeks, lips, noses, foreheads. 

 They lay like that for a while before either one of them spoke. Sebastian nipped at Blaine’s bottom lip and nuzzled his jawbone, his five o clock shadow already peeking through. 

 “I take it that you like it here.”

 Blaine’s POV:

Blaine tucked his face into Sebastian’s neck, lying next to him and wrapped around him now. His breathing finally seemed to be steadying and he finally felt like he was on the ground again. His body was sore in all the right places and even though it was still early evening he could have snuggled into Sebastian and whispered sweetness until they both fell asleep for the night. Surly Soot would find her way to them and she too would curl up at their feet as they slept. It was as perfect as a thought could be and Blaine almost asked for it. But, he was a bit hungry and a little nudge on his jaw from Seb took him away from it. He turned to look at his boyfriend, his nips and kisses causing him to break out in a grin and he laughed as he answered, his body snuggled close so that their chest were touching. He reached out and traced his fingertips down Seb’s arm, tracing the little stardust of freckles.

 “I do like it here. But, I mean, with you here with me it’s just perfect. I feel like I’m safe wherever you are…” His voice was soft as he thought, his brain catching up to reality as he really took in the question.  “It’s out there- alone... that’s hard.” He bit his lip and then shook his head, letting out a little breathy laugh so it wouldn’t get too deep even though his heart was pounding now for a different reason. “I suppose I’m just going to have to take you with me wherever I go.” He shrugged and let his traveling fingertips rest at Seb’s wrist. Usually they were pale and delicate, but now they were slightly pink and just a touch heated and the memory of squeezing and pressing them down jolted Blaine into a bad memory. Triggering him into a moment of panic.

 “Oh god, did I hurt you?”

Suddenly he was terrified that he’d done something wrong. That by acting on primal urges he was just as bad as Kurt, even if Blaine knew in the passionate moment that Sebastian was into it and that if Seb had said to stop that Blaine would have let go and backed away- a shock still went through him that he’d managed to leave a little bit of a mark and his heart pounded even harder as he sat up cross legged next to Seb and reached for his wrist and pressed kisses to them before reaching for other parts of Seb’s body that his fingertips had pressed into just to check him over. He blinked, his eyes a little stingy. Why had he wanted to do this? Why did he want to hold him down and take control? Was there something wrong with him? In the moment it had seemed fun and sexy and something he’d been into before his life went to shit, but how could he like it after all that happened? And again for the second time that night he wondered how he could ask for something like this or even want it… 

 A little voice in his head told him to calm down, and told him it was okay. It sounded a lot like a mix of his and Sebastian’s; You had fun, Blaine. This is different from the nightmare Kurt put you through. You trust Seb and he trusts you. Don’t compare it. Just breathe… Trust him, trust yourself.

 “I-I didn’t think… I don’t even know why I did that. I’m so sorry, baby…”

 The name slipped out organically in a mumble against Sebastian’s chest, never used on anyone else before, as the beat of his boyfriend's heart thudded  against his lips reassuring him he was still here and okay. He pulled back to look at him, his thumbs gently rubbing over the already faded marks on Seb’s wrists.

 “I mean, yeah, it was super fun and hot, but I shouldn’t have done it.” Right? 

 Sebastian’s POV:

 Blaine’s fingertips ghosted over Sebastian’s wrists. He could see the switch in his boyfriend’s eyes, the panic tugging his bottom lip down into a frown. Seb wasn’t hurt, he felt satisfied and tired and in need of a cigarette or two. “I’m good.” He looked at his wrists and saw that they were a little red but that was okay with him. It would just be a reminder of their time together. “I like it when you leave marks.” 

Seb liked the weight of  Blaine’s head on his chest but hated that he felt upset with himself. “You have nothing to worry about. I wanted you to do it, I promise.” A small twinge of pleasure slid up his spine when the other man called him baby, he liked how that sounded. If B wasn’t so worried, he’d drown the other man in kisses. 

 “Hey, look at me.” Sebastian sat up and made sure the two of them made direct eye contact. “You know that I trust you, right? I would stop you if something were wrong. “ He reached out to hold Blaine’s hand, “I know that you’ve been through hell. But, you’re not Kurt, okay? He’s a fucking prick. You’re a good person, you listen to me and my body.” Speaking so openly like this made himself feel a little better about the bullshit he went through in the past himself. “I’ve had my share of...uncomfortable experiences. I know I don’t talk about it much but, we aren’t the people that have hurt us. Even though we fell apart for a bit, please believe me when I say that you have always treated me with respect and have never made me feel ashamed of being sexual.”

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine’s body gave an involuntary shudder when Sebastian mentioned that he liked the faint marks he’d left on his body. Once upon a time it wouldn’t have been such a  big deal, sure, Blaine might have still panicked a tiny bit and fret over Seb, but that was in his nature. But,  now, after everything he felt like he’d done something wrong. He knew that he hadn't, he really did, but this part of him, the part that Kurt had shamed and shoved down, had turned some of his pleasures and little kinks and perversions and pain so of course Blaine would feel off about it. Seb was looking at him wide eyed and honest and Blaine knew he meant what he said. 

He let Sebastian take hold of his hand and made himself look up so that he could really listen to his boyfriend.  It hurt his chest and his pounding heart to be reminded that Sebastian had been abused by past lovers before, one’s that took his sexual nature and took it just a bit too far, and Blaine wanted to scoop him up and promise him that he’d always been taken care of. Wanted to whisper words of comfort and a little part of him wanted to go find each person that had gotten too rough or too persistent and smack the shit out of them. It wouldn’t help, of course, he knew that. All he could do was pull Seb closer to him and nod as he spoke and accept his boyfriend's words as fact. 

Maybe Blaine would have another moment of panic, and maybe Blaine would need to slow down sometimes. But there was no denying how they worked together or how they just knew each other’s body. What he’d done was okay. He wasn’t bad for wanting to press his boyfriend down, he wasn’t horrible for wanting to talk dirty or for leaving gentle marks with his fingertips or his lips- they had been made out of love and trust. Sitting here looking at Sebastian he wanted to smack himself for almost ruining the moment with his anxiety again. Of course this was all okay. Look how much fun they’d had… Their movements together and the way Seb’s body just responded to Blaine was the most natural thing, and Blaine had known how to do it without second thought and Seb had risen to him and fell apart in his arms and it had been perfect and Blaine didn’t need to worry. He’d taken control and neither one of them was hurt. Maybe he’d need to be reminded again later, but right now Seb’s face and gentle words told him all he needed to know. 

 “I trust you too, Seb. With everything.” He bit his lip, feeling a bit sheepish all over again. “I promise to never shame you or make you feel like something you want is wrong. And I promise to always listen to what you tell me and what your body tells me. I just got anxious, the marks Kurt left were always angry and harsh and just seeing the red here sort of made me wonder if I was any better. I know that’s not true and I know you’d tell me if I did hurt you, I guess I just had a moment.” He sort of shrugged and laughed. 

 “We got so close again so fast, sometimes I feel like I should still be that shell of a boy you met again on New Year’s. The one that could hardly look at you and could barely stand to be touched. I still don't like it much, but when it comes to you … Well, I’m yours. We’ve just done so much for each other, it’s still a bit baffling to see the progress. I love it, and I wouldn't change it, but I guess I need to take a step back and see it for what it is and how much you’ve helped me. We’ve helped each other.”

He cleared his throat and let his thumb run over the now faded marks on Seb’s wrist. 

“You know… one day you’ll have to tell me if there’s anything you want to try. Any hidden kinks that maybe I can work my way up to.” He teased and leaned in and stole a kiss. “But for now maybe we should go check on Soot and perhaps I can make you some dinner. Assuming you have something for me to cook.” He grinned, feeling better and closer still to his person.

 Sebastian’s POV:

 Only the two of them could have had passionate sex followed by important conversation. It felt special and real and Blaine was right, it was so easy to fall back into each other that at times it was almost jarring at how little time had actually passed. “We have helped each other. I mean, look at how mushy you have me acting.” He smiled, “We got each other.”

 Sebastian watched as Blaine touched his wrists. Of course he knew that they would both have low moments and bouts of anxiety, times where they didn’t really want to be touched. But, he also knew that they were in love and that they were working so hard to better themselves. Neither of them would be fixed overnight. There would always be small little cracks. They just needed to fill their breaks and cracks with gold to come out stronger, like one of those beautiful Japanese vases. 

 “Oh, I’ll tell you anything you want to hear.” Seb’s face broke out into a grin that hurt the corners of his mouth. He loved when Blaine stole kisses from his smiles, made him laugh against his lips, pulled him in for a few more. “You know damn well she’s still asleep. But, I do need a cigarette. You wore me out.” Sebastian poked Blaine gently in the side. “You’re going to be quite impressed, Anderson. I bought some groceries.” 

 Blaine put on one of Sebastian’s grey Columbia hoodies. He loved the way he looked in it and told him that he could keep it. They padded out into the kitchen where Seb laid out the items he had bought and B set to work on their evening breakfast. Soot, who was fast asleep still, woke to the sizzle of bacon in the pan and rubbed all over both of them. Sebastian silently promised her the fat off of a piece of bacon as he scratched behind her pointy ears. He could get used to this, he thought. The scent of bacon grease, the little sounds of Soot’s paws on the hardwood, Blaine humming in the kitchen. For the first time since he had moved to the city, his apartment didn’t feel empty or lonely. It felt like a home.

 /fin.

[catboymingi]

the evil queen’s revenge - veninder chap. 7

navi/masterlist

story masterlist

pairing: mingi x reader

genre: angst, fluff; eventual (soon!) best friends to lovers

word count: 7.2k

warnings: attempted assault, low self-esteem related to that

a/n: this chapter is sponsored by a random european bops youtube playlist and my spotify emo playlist and maybe you can tell, it’s a rollercoaster of emotions right here

louise har truet mig / lige siden jeg forlod dig - louise has been threatening me / right since i left you

the more time you spent with the boys (mainly mingi, still), the more you seemed to thrive. they noticed, and they were incredibly glad about it. the tall redhead had managed to catch up enough by the second tuesday of knowing you that he managed to convince your professor to let him join the class, taking some sort of unofficial entrance test and doing great. maybe it was partly because you were a teacher’s favourite, too, that the professor hadn’t seemed like he minded at all - any student you brought would be a good one, he was sure, and when the boy informed him that he’d spent the past week studying with you it seemed like the test was only a formality so people wouldn’t be able to say he was being unfair or picking favourites.

you still got lunch with them daily, stayed the night sometimes, sometimes mingi stayed at your place, and by the second pyjama party with them, a week after the first, you weren’t even hesitant about sharing the bed with your best friend, a fact mingi still rubbed into the boys’ faces, liking how warm and cuddly he was and how he’d sometimes tell you a bedtime story. the second pyjama party had been even more fun than the first, owed to the fact that there had been no unpleasant spooky surprises, and you’d convinced the boys to let you put on a random ‘european bops’ youtube playlist, which they ended up enjoying more than they’d admit. you’d even forced them to learn the macarena, the highlight of the entire night, in your opinion. they were fun, and though they did complain a little you knew it was all in good fun - they complained the same way that you’d complain about losing their games.

your old friends seemed to still be plotting - another two weeks after the first pyjama party the most that had happened was insults and trying to get you to trip over their legs, but compared to the laptop thing it was incredibly harmless. that you still had to solve somehow, but you tried to not think about it right now, tried to ignore the worry that was present near-constantly when you weren’t with the boys, instead focusing on how much better you felt now even with having to worry like that. and because you felt so safe and good around them you agreed when mingi told you that they wanted to go to a party that weekend; one of wooyoung’s friends was hosting and had invited them, and because you were a part of their friend group now they wanted you to join. there was a chance your old friends would be there, but in that moment you honestly forgot about that because you were excited to spend more time with your new ones.

the night of the party you did get a bad case of nerves though, texting mingi to come over because you didn’t know what to wear. boys had it so easy - they could just wear near whatever and it wasn’t a big deal. maybe not sandals and socks, but even that would probably be looked over in favour of a girl that hadn’t done her hair decently. you, however, were very aware of needing to look good, and the redhead had become your fashion advisor.

“which one’s better?”, you asked him, holding out two dresses that, in his humble opinion, would both look absolutely amazing on you. he chose to be a simp, however, telling you to wear the red one because he said it would contrast well with your black hair. secretly he just wanted to match with you, because he was wearing all black with bright red hair, and you’d be wearing a bright red dress with black hair. though he was convinced his excuse was good you’d noticed the matching part of his choice as well, and maybe you would have teased him about it, but after having spent several weeks with him you’d joined the ‘being completely whipped’ squad and were glad to have an excuse to match with him. plus, though you weren’t conceited, you knew you looked great in bright colours. it was a good choice.

that was confirmed when you came out from your bathroom and mingi’s jaw all but dropped to the floor. sure, you’d been dressed up when he first met you, but you’d also been soaking wet, so your hair and makeup weren’t exactly doing great, and you’d been covered in jackets and sweatshirts the boys had generously spared to keep you from catching pneumonia. now, however, your hair was put up in a way that left him wondering how on earth you’d managed to do that without ruining your curls, and your lips were painted black (a small residual style choice from your alternative days), contrasting amazingly with your red eyeshadow. the dress complimented your body, and you’d shown him the shoes you’d picked earlier already, black chunky combat boots because you didn’t want to have to walk home wearing heels and didn’t feel pressured to wear them anymore. he knew you were pretty, of course he knew, but now you looked breathtaking. he felt a little underdressed, in comparison.

“this looks fine?”

he just nodded, not exactly trusting himself to not let out a bunch of embarrassing compliments if he were to speak, and you smiled. his expression told you that it most definitely did look fine, so you weren’t too worried, instead opting to ruffle his hair a little because it, in your opinion, was too tame.

“better”, you informed him once the deed was done, “now you’re bad boy-passing.”

maybe the outwardly quite intimidating redhead would have told you that he was a bad boy, but considering how you’d chosen to call him teddy bear instead of his name he didn’t think that one would hold up, not with you, not when he frequently found himself cuddling into you and generally reinforcing his friends’ belief that he was a simp.

“let’s go?”

mingi nodded again, grabbing your hand (during another neglected spin the bottle game he’d found out you liked holding hands but were shy to be the one to grab someone else’s hand, and he gladly took the role of the grabber) and went to the door with you, stopping only to put your shoes on.

“we’ll meet the others at the party”, he then informed you, and now it was you who nodded. you left your apartment (and because you were excited and anxious about the party you’d forgotten to bring a jacket), walking towards the train station looking like a couple to anyone who looked because mingi very much was holding your hand again with the excuse that you’d be cold otherwise. it was the weird half-season between spring and summer, so you would actually have been a little cold and his excuse held up, but you wouldn’t have complained either way.

on the train you used your very first monthly pass, a gift from mingi who had insisted on getting it for you because it would be cheaper than paying for single trips all the time, and you knew he wouldn’t let you pay yourself because, as he explained, it was only because of him you even needed to take the train so often. in return you’d secretly snooped around and managed to figure out that mingi loved ramen, and bought him a massive supply that he couldn’t tell you to keep because it was meat flavoured. when you grinned at him as you informed him of your inability to eat it he looked like he was about to fight you, but instead he just told you he’d get back at you for this. you knew he would, but you weren’t too worried - he wasn’t one for extravagant gifts, he just seemed to like getting people small things that they could get a use out of.

now you were on the train with him, his head on your shoulder because you knew that if you put yours on his he’d either be stabbed or tickled by your curls, and he seemed to have realised that as well. his hands were playing with your fingers because it seemed like a small part of him had to be moving whenever, though it didn’t bother you. he was able to sit still, and it wasn’t anything you’d ever be distracted by if he kneaded his own hands while sitting next to you.

“you know when we need to get off, right?”, you asked him after a few minutes, and he hummed in affirmation.

“two more stops.”

“then maybe you shouldn’t be falling asleep.” his movements had slowed down, a sure sign that he was getting either incredibly comfortable or incredibly tired or both, and you didn’t want to have to drag a half-asleep mingi to the party. even less than that did you want to be at the party with a half-asleep mingi.

“i’m not falling asleep”, the redhead protested and sat up straight, as if to prove it.

“i know, i’m just teasing you”, and he smiled at you.

“i know. but i’m still not falling asleep. one hundred percent ready to party.”

sillyhead. but he managed to make you laugh with that, and his smile got bigger because he loved it when he was the reason you were laughing.

your best friend’s hand was still forcibly attached to yours when you got off the train, using it to drag you to wherever the party was with little consideration of your shorter legs until you pulled his arm, trying to get his attention to the fact that it was hard to keep up.

“sorry”, with his signature sheepish grin, and you couldn’t be annoyed when he was cute like that. though you’d still deny it if someone brought it up - mainly because you knew he didn’t feel the same and it’d only been three weeks since you’d met him - you were completely whipped, but how could you not be when he might just have the softest personality you’d ever gotten to meet?

the last few minutes of the way were spent walking at a more comfortable pace, and it was easy to tell which house the party was in, given the loud music and bright lights. it was a familiar environment, though you felt better about it with mingi there and the boys waiting than you would’ve with your old group of friends.

and as if on cue, you both got a message in hyung hate club, the group chat whose name no one had ever bothered to change.

[wooyoung]: are u there?? were inside already

though inside proved itself to be quite a wide area, as you noticed when you did go inside. it was hard to find anyone in the crowd of people, and because a certain someone had neglected to use the toilet at your place he told you he had some big girl business to do before he kept looking, instead searching for the toilet with you. he did find it, much to his delight, and told you to wait for a moment while he did what his body desperately begged him to do.

while he was on the toilet you were waiting for him near the bathroom door, your eyes wandering across the room as you did so. you were currently looking at a particularly flashy light, slightly distracted by the way it changed colours, so you didn’t notice that some guy had come up to you until you found yourself cornered against the wall.

“hey pretty”, he cooed, his voice disgusting and slick and you knew you didn’t like this situation.

“your friends told me you need a boyfriend, hm?” and as soon as he mentioned these friends that you knew most definitely were not your friends any longer you knew you were in deep trouble, breath starting to speed up as you started to fear whatever was about to happen now. you turned your head away from him, a desperate attempt to get him to back off, but he grabbed your chin and made you look back at him.

“not even gonna give me a kiss?” you tried to turn your head away again, but his grip was too strong, so instead you opted to cover your mouth with your hands, desperate to not let him kiss you, not have him take this first away from you. he tsked at this action, trying to pry your hands from your face, and he had almost succeeded when…

“get your fucking hands off.” he was harshly grabbed by the shoulder, and then a man who you now saw to be san hit him square in the face, causing him to stumble backwards and leave, cursing.

“where’s mingi?”, your friend asked, turning towards your distressed figure.

“toilet”, you told him, and then, near begging: “can we please go home?” he immediately nodded at the desperation in your voice, gently grabbing your hand and pulling you towards where the other boys were sitting, telling them that you were going home now and to tell mingi once he found them, and that he’d let them know what happened later. they didn’t question him, seeing clearly that you weren’t okay in the slightest, and he took you to their place.

that night was spent in san’s bed, in san’s arms, crying against his chest without explaining just why exactly you were so upset. it didn’t matter much to him either, he didn’t need the full context, knowing that some creep had tried to assault you was enough to make him fume even without the knowledge of you being so desperate to save all your firsts that you’d never gone on a date or had a partner or kissed anyone yet in your almost 21 years of life, because you didn’t want it to be with someone that didn’t mean it, and your past friends knew this about you and that was exactly why they’d sent this dude after you. he just let you cry, stroking your hair until you fell asleep, and then grabbing his phone and quickly explaining just what situation you’d been in when he found you.

when mingi heard what happened he couldn’t stand himself, couldn’t stand to face you, because he was convinced it was all his fault for having left you alone rather than dropping you off with his friends before going to the toilet. it wouldn’t have been a big deal, it hadn’t been that urgent, and it would’ve saved you so much pain, and he was convinced you felt the same way, that you’d chosen to spend the night in san’s arms because you never wanted to have to deal with him again.

and rather than talking about it with you he started ignoring you. you came over daily now, just wanting to be distracted (the girls had resumed making your life a living hell the best they could, barely giving you a break) and wanting to have someone there, but as soon as mingi heard the doorbell he’d take off to his room and not leave until he knew you’d gone to bed or back home. it hurt you to see him act like this because you didn’t have any explanation for his behaviour, and neither did the boys, because he refused to talk to them about anything related to you. so you spent your nights in san’s arms instead of your best friend’s, crying into his chest on the daily because you felt wrong and bad and you were convinced mingi hated you. you asked san more than once what you’d done wrong for mingi to ignore your texts, your calls, everything, not sitting with the group during lunch, plain refusing to acknowledge you existed, for mingi to not even open your messages anymore starting day 3 after the horrible party. and san wished he could tell you, but he didn’t know. he just hoped his friend would get over himself soon.

when eight days after the party you still hadn’t exchanged a single word with mingi you found yourself crying in san’s arms again, late at night, scared that you’d lost the comforting giant forever.

“i just don’t know why he hates me”, you sobbed. “am i that disgusting? is that it? that he can’t stand to look at me anymore now that that creep’s had his hands on me and tried that shit. that he knows how fucking dirty i am now, how worthless and wrong and filthy. that he finally realised that i’m not worth it and that i never was and that he just can’t stand to be near me because he’s scared i’m gonna taint him, too, i’m gonna make him dirty and bad and unwantable and i’m gonna- i’m gonna-” you couldn’t finish, violent sobs taking over, and san was fuming. up until now he hadn’t known just what kind of thoughts his supposed friend’s behaviour was putting in your head, and he was ready to deliver an ass-kicking now that he knew. but right now you needed him more, so the confrontation would have to wait.

you left early the next morning, and while it was obvious that you weren’t okay the boy that had been your anchor this past week didn’t try to stop you because he really had some business to sort with mingi. the boys quickly noticed that something was up, the expression on their friend’s face one that made them feel sorry for his victim. but when he informed them just how much of an ignorant ass the red-haired idiot had been they quickly were just as ready to commit something that would most definitely send them to jail.

“mingi!”, wooyoung screamed when the one in question still hadn’t left his room, even an hour after you’d left. when he got no reaction, san and jongho took off to his room, opening the door with more force than necessary, considering it wasn’t even locked, but they were pissed, and they wanted to let mingi know that he was in trouble.

“what?”, came an annoyed question from his bed, but they didn’t care to answer, instead dragging him to the living room with them.

“what the fuck is your issue?”, he snapped, entirely unaware of the fact that right now it was him who had an issue.

“the better question is what the fuck your issue is”, san hissed out. “the fuck are you thinking, ignoring y/n like that?”

“i’m not-”

“cut the bullshit. what the fuck’s wrong with you? you know what happened and you got nothing better to do than to act like you hate her guts.” these words were surprisingly harsh for yunho, but like all the others he’d felt protective over you ever since that night he’d seen you in mingi’s bed, wrapped up in him. and unlike his idiot of a friend, he knew that you were deeply in love with the dumbass, and that his current behaviour was breaking your heart.

“i don’t hate her”, he stated, calmer now that he knew they were worrying about you. he was worrying about you, too, so he couldn’t blame them for how they were acting.

“for that you sure do act like it.”

“don’t act like she cares. she seems more than happy to be sleeping in san’s bed instead”, mingi spat out bitterly and it took a lot of self restraint for san to not punch him square like he’d punched the guy at the party.

“she’s been sleeping there because you wouldn’t fucking talk to her, you complete moron. do you even know how often she’s cried herself to sleep because of that? because she didn’t know what she did? and i couldn’t even comfort her because i didn’t know either, because you refuse to stop acting like a pissbaby and tell us what’s up, at least. you know what she thinks the issue is?”

“i-” but he didn’t even let him finish.

“she thinks you’re disgusted with her. that you got some weird purity issue and now that that asshole tried to feel her up she’s no longer good enough for you and you can’t stand to look at her without puking your guts out. she feels so fucking dirty because of what happened and you won’t even try to comfort her because you got some weird thing going on when she needs you. you’re supposed to make her feel better but you just make her feel worse.” his hands were clenched into fists, his entire body tense, knowing that if he didn’t put all his focus into firing out words like bullets he’d be firing out punches.

“she… what?” the tall boy was completely taken aback, staring at his friend wide-eyed as he realised just what had been going on with you while he’d been isolating himself like a selfish asshole.

“she needs you, mingi”, seonghwa said, and while he was still fuming as well his voice was a lot calmer than san’s.

“but it’s my fault she’s even feeling like this!” finally his worries, his fears, his issue had made it from something he kept overthinking about whenever you were there and didn’t even try to come into his room to something he said out loud. “if i hadn’t left her alone none of this would’ve happened. she probably hates me for that. i hate me for that.”

his friends’ expressions softened at his outburst, starting to understand just what had gone on, the misunderstanding that had kept both of you from doing what you really wanted to.

“she doesn’t hate you. she’s told me every single night that she wished you’d just fucking reply to her, dumbass.” and maybe it was the fact that san had, in fact, spent the past week with you in his arms on the daily that made mingi think that he might be right. he was still anxious, though, scared that if you weren’t angry at him for leaving you alone at the party now you were certainly angry at him for ignoring you all week.

“just message her”, hongjoong said, as if he could read his thoughts. the redhead nodded, getting out his phone right away and sending you a text.

//

[10/10 halattava]: wanna watch a movie tonight

you couldn’t believe your eyes. you hadn’t heard from him in so many days, your pleas for an explanation or just anything falling on deaf ears, and now here he was, asking you to watch a movie.

[y/n]: you actually mean that

you were doubtful, and really he couldn’t blame you. but he was serious.

[10/10 halattava]: can i come over later

[y/n]: whenever you want to

maybe you should have declined, maybe you should have made him suffer the way he’d made you suffer, but you weren’t the type for that. you missed him, and you just wanted things to be okay again. you wanted an explanation too, of course, but you mainly just wanted him there, holding you like he used to, making you feel safe like he used to.

[10/10 halattava]: be there soon

you knew that meant that he’d left right away, and even though part of you was angry at him the bigger part of you wanted to make sure things were nice, so you started cleaning up a little, something that had been awfully neglected lately.

before long he was in front of your door, ringing several times, impatient to finally get to see you and hold you and apologise and tell you that he was so stupid and so sorry and that you were so beautiful and that you never had to worry about him thinking that you were anything short of perfect.

when you opened he immediately flung himself into your arms, making you stumble from the sheer force, but he was holding on to you, he was there and he wouldn’t let you fall, wouldn’t let you get hurt.

“im so fucking stupid”, he told you, his arms wrapped so tightly around you that it felt like you were the only thing keeping him standing right now. he didn’t want to let go, and he didn’t, loosening his embrace so you could move to close the door but keeping his arms around you. and the way he seemed so desperate made all the angry words you’d intended to throw at him vanish, instead a small sob escaped your lips.

“i missed you”, you said, and his grip around you tightened.

“i missed you, too. so much.” you were glad to hear it, but you were also incredibly confused.

“then why didn’t you talk to me? ignore all my texts, my calls, everything?” you sounded so weak and so hurt, the way you were sobbing into his chest, that he in all honesty felt inclined to text san and tell him to punch him as hard as he could once he got back home.

“because i’m an idiot. i was scared you hated me because i left you alone at that fucking party, and i didn’t want to hear you say it, so i just hid. i’m so sorry.” his cheek was pressed against your hair, taking in how soft it was and how you smelled and you. he’d missed you so fucking much.

“you are an idiot”, you informed him, but you moved away a little to smile up at him through your tears, “i’d never hate you. promise.”

“and i’d never ever ever think less of you because some imbecile fuckface couldn’t control his hormones. ever.” you nodded silently, but something about the way you avoided his gaze again now told him that there was still something on your mind.

“really, i mean it”, he reassured you, but that wasn’t the issue.

“it’s not some hormone issue”, you said quietly, and he looked at you surprised. what else should it be?

“my… the girls. they sent him, he told me. because they knew it’d fuck me up and over, because they know so much about me.” you tried to keep your breath steady, taking a small moment before you resumed. “they know how much that means to me. first kiss and everything. and it’s so stupid to be so upset about that, but in that moment i was really really scared that he’d just be my first kiss and i’d never be able to get it back, and that just… really messed with me. it’s some stupid hopeless romantic shit but it’s just important to me. something that actually means something.”

you couldn’t interpret his expression, and you were scared he was going to make fun of you, but instead he pulled you into his chest again, holding you so tightly that it got a little hard to breathe, but you didn’t care because it was comforting to be so close to him.

“if they ever try to pull that shit again they better run”, he said more as a statement than directed towards you, and his voice sounded so incredibly threatening that you’d be scared if it wasn’t mingi, if it wasn’t the one that you knew would do all he could to protect you.

“i just… they really hate me, y’know?”, you mumbled into his chest. “they use everything they know means something to me to hurt me.”

“i won’t let them.” and the way he said it almost made you believe him, almost made you believe that he could actually stop them from ever hurting you again. you smiled up at him again, so grateful, so beautiful, his heart was beating so hard he was scared it’d jump out of his chest, and even though he knew it was stupid and even though he knew right now was horrible timing and even though he knew he really really shouldn’t ask you this now, or maybe ever, the words slipped past his lips before he could stop himself.

"can i kiss you?" he was so close. so close that you could see the way his eyes sparkled, you could see that they weren't as pitch black as they tended to look, instead they were a really warm dark brown with the pupil being just a few shades darker than the rest. and you wanted to say yes. you did, but…

"no." he was surprised, but backed away immediately.

"i'm sorry. i should’ve known, right now’s the worst time to ask. i didn't want to make you uncomfortable." you sighed.

"it's not that, it's… you're all i have, you and the boys, and i… i don't want to lose that. and i know that if i let you kiss me and then you figure out you don't actually like me that way when i like you that way, i would lose you. i wouldn't be able to just be your friend after that, and i wouldn't be able to see the boys anymore either, because i can't make them choose but seeing you would hurt too much, and i don't want to risk that. i can't risk that, not after everything that happened when i risked something for you the first time. it turned out okay then!", you quickly said as you noticed his expression, as you noticed that he seemed to think you regretted ever becoming their friend in the first place, "because i had you there. but… but if this happens and i'm alone, i know i couldn't handle it. i couldn't handle losing you, not after everything that happened, and… if they found out that you kissed me, even if we're no longer talking, hell would break loose all over again. and this time i wouldn't have anyone. and it would be so much harder because i wouldn't just be dealing with them, i'd also be dealing with the heartbreak and i… i just know that'd be too much. that'd kill me, mingi."

he nodded slowly, and you first noticed that tears had started falling from your eyes again when he gently wiped them away with his thumb. he could understand you, understand your fears, and even though he knew it wasn't like that for him, it wasn't something he would change his mind on later, he was very aware that you couldn't know that, that you weren't able to look into his head and heart. in a way maybe he felt the same way about you, scared that you didn't and would never like him this way even though you had just clearly told him that the problem was that you did like him this way and wouldn't be able to handle the rejection if it was him who didn't reciprocate. he got it. but he wanted to prove to you that he meant it.

"what do i do, then?", he asked you while looking at you with soft but curious eyes.

"what do you mean?"

"do i take you out? do i throw stones at your window every night and beg for you to please give me a chance? do i write love letters? you know i'm really not that good with words, but if that convinces you i swear i'll try, i'll write you a letter every day until you send jongho to kill me because i'm embarrassing. just… just tell me what to do and i'll do it, okay?"

now it was your turn to be surprised. you'd have thought that this was a regular mingi joke if he didn't look at you all serious, if his expression didn't tell you that he one hundred percent meant it.

"i don't know", you replied honestly. "i don't want to tell you what to do, i… i want you to surprise me. show me the way you would if it was just about winning my heart, not about convincing me. the way you would if you didn't know yet that i like you."

you were embarrassed to say this, felt like you were too much of a hopeless romantic and making it harder for him than it had to be. but you didn't want the way he made advances to be planned, to be something you told him how to do so he'd for sure win your heart. you wanted it to be genuine, to be him. you wanted to see the way mingi tried to make someone fall in love, not the way mingi tried to follow the instructions you set out for him. and even though you felt like you were making things harder than they needed to be the redhead didn’t seem to mind in the slightest.

“okay. but i’m embarrassing.”

finally you smiled again, and if he had to embarrass himself nonstop just to keep you smiling then he would. right now, however, he just wanted to hold you some more. make sure that things were okay between you again.

“do you still want to watch a movie?”

“of course.” as if there’d ever be any time where you didn’t want to watch a movie with him. and as if that time, if it existed at all, would be now when you’d been missing his arms around you for the past week.

you waddled to the bed together, his arms still around you because he plain refused to let go of you, but then he noticed how messy and shiny your hair was and he got an idea.

“can i brush your hair while we watch it?”

even though you knew curls should technically only be brushed when wet you just couldn’t say no, not to him, and in all fairness you frequently ignored the brush while wet-rule as well, so one time more or less wouldn’t matter.

“i’ll get the brush”, you told him, starting to walk towards the bathroom, but he still wouldn’t let go of you.

“we’ll get the brush”, and it seemed like this was your fate for the day. not that you were complaining - you were glad to have him back and wanted to make up for the week where he hadn’t been there to hold you. so you waddled to the bathroom together as well, then back to the bed, and he only let go of you briefly when you had to get your laptop because without a laptop there’d be no movie. but as soon as the laptop was out of the risk zone (so, in the middle of the bed) his arms were back around you, pulling you into his chest.

“i’m sorry i ignored you”, he told you again, and you just nodded because you didn’t exactly know what to say. it had really hurt, but you didn’t want to think too much about it when he was here now. you just wanted to be held and you wanted to feel like maybe you were still okay.

“i won’t do it again. promise.” despite how much he wanted to keep holding you tight with both his arms he removed one arm from around you, instead sticking out his pinky in front of you so he could pinky promise you. this made you smile, this reassured you, even though it was childish. or maybe because it was childish - you felt like he wouldn’t pinky promise if he didn’t really mean it. so you linked your pinky with his, in a way also showing him that you accepted his apology.

“can you hand me the brush now?”

you did as asked, handing it over to him, and he carefully pushed your head forward a little. he wasn’t able to hold you anymore now that his hands were busy, but he wrapped his legs around your waist instead, not wanting to miss out on the physical contact.

“any movie suggestions?”

“moomins.” he didn’t even have to think about it - that had been your very first movie night, and the tall idiot wanted to feel that way again, comfortable and cosy and maybe with you falling asleep against him again as well.

you clicked a little and then the familiar melody filled the room. it felt homely, sitting here with your best friend, and when mingi started stroking your head a little before getting to work you thought that this moment here was actually perfect, or as close to it as could be.

that was, until he started brushing, clearly not having anticipated the way the brush would get caught in your curls so easily.

“auh!”

his movements immediately halted and he started apologising profusely, but you told him that it wasn’t that bad.

“it always hurts, i just need to get used to it a little. but it hurts less if you hold the hair near the root, so that you can prevent it from pulling too much.”

he grabbed a bit of your hair at your explanation, carefully attempting to brush again.

“like this?”

“yes, that’s better.”

so he continued, careful, gentle, and only stopped when he’d brushed about a third of your hair and noticed that it gained a lot of volume after it was brushed.

“is it supposed to do this or did i mess up?”

“do what?” you didn’t even know what your hair could be doing that would make him think he messed up - you were used to the ‘hermione granger in the first harry potter movie’ kind of look whenever you brushed your hair, but it seemed like this was the first time that the redhead dealt with curls like this.

“get so big and weird. it doesn’t look curly anymore. did i break it?”

and though you maybe shouldn’t laugh at him you couldn’t help it because he just sounded so helpless, sounded genuinely scared that he’d broken your hair.

“it’s supposed to do that”, reassuring, and you were convinced you heard him let out a relieved sigh, “you can just continue.”

he did, still gentle, trying so hard to not hurt you again, and even though he couldn’t even tell whether or not you were in pain if you didn’t let him know with your words he managed to hurt you less than you hurt yourself whenever you brushed your hair. then, when he was done, he ran his fingers through it (and it was only because he had just thoroughly brushed it that he was able to do that so easily and without getting stuck), telling you that your hair was really soft.

“i love your hair”, he informed you, still playing with it, “i think your curls are really nice.”

“that’s because they’re not on your head”, you countered, because while they did look nice they were a pain to take care of.

“maybe”, and you could hear the grin in his voice, “but i still like them.”

“fine”, you accepted, because it was a subjective opinion and he had a right to his own opinions, “i guess that’s fair.”

he continued toying with your hair, though now you’d leaned back into his chest, probably covering half his field of vision with your mane if you hadn’t, enjoying his warmth and how nice he was being. you really enjoyed this, the small acts of affection and the moomins being background noise - and they were, because you were talking instead of watching the movie, but you didn’t mind.

“is this your natural hair colour?”

the red-haired teddy bear seemed really intrigued by your hair, something you found kind of cute, to be honest. you were happy to answer, too.

“not exactly. it’s more dark brown, not this bluish black, but i like this one better. i think my natural one is kind of boring. though i’ve been considering dyeing it again, changing it up a little.”

now you most definitely had his attention.

“bright? or something natural?”

“bright”, and if you’d been able to see his face right now you’d see a happy grin on his face, because he was a firm supporter of the ‘y/n would look great with brightly coloured hair’ agenda.

“i used to have a lot of different hair colours when i was younger. kind of a way to get back at my shitty parents, but i also just liked how it looks. i used to be kind of alternative, actually.”

you grinned at the memory, but he was curious.

“like, chunky boots and all black? really dark makeup? spikes and chains and everything? that’s alternative, right?”

you nodded against him, then leaned forward a little and pulled some hair to the side to show one of your ears.

“facial piercings were a hard no, but i got so many holes punched in my ears that the local piercer knew me on a first name basis. i also have a silly secret stick and poke, on my hip bone. probably wouldn’t do it again, but i don’t regret it. i kind of miss that style, actually.”

from the corner of your eye you could see mingi look at your ear curiously, seemingly first now noticing the array of little studs in there. then, he moved to look at you, satisfied with his examination of your piercings. now he knew to get you some pretty earrings.

“why don’t you go back? to being alternative, i mean. big and scary, chunky boots.”

he was being silly, you could tell, but he was right. you’d only changed up your style because it hadn’t been appropriate for your old friends, but you didn’t have to care about that anymore.

“you can help me, if you want? help me pick out a new hair colour, i should probably start there.”

“you’d let me help you pick?”

his eyes were big and excited when you turned to look at him; he was adorable.

“i’d even let you dye my hair, if you want”, and if you hadn’t been in his lap he probably would’ve bounced with excitement.

“i want! but what colour? any ideas?”

you didn’t have even the slightest clue, so you told him that, asking if he had an idea. you could see that he did have one, but you could also tell that he was a little hesitant to tell you.

“what’re you thinking?”

“i was wondering if you’d like to go red, too. match with me?”, though he was avoiding to look at you in case you thought it was a bad idea.

“that’s emo, i like it”, a joke to hide how giddy the idea made you.

“are you saying i’m emo?”

his exasperated tone made you laugh, caused you to tease him some more.

“maybe i am, who knows?” then, change of topic. “would you want to dye my hair somewhen this week?”

“yes! which day’s best?”

“maybe after class on tuesday? if you’re coming again.”

he hadn’t come last week, but that was most likely because he hadn’t come near you at all last week.

“of course i’m coming again. i pinky promised”, wrapping his arms around you and resting his chin on your shoulder to show you that he was here now.

“let’s do tuesday. here? or my place?”

“maybe here so we won’t block your bathroom.”

he nodded against your shoulder, happy and excited and content.

“tuesday after class, here. i’ll get the dye, so we’ll actually really match. also some bleach.”

you smiled, leaning back against him, placing your hands on his that were intertwined in front of your stomach.

“it’s a date, then.”

and he was glad that you weren’t looking at his face right now, because he had the world’s most whipped expression on his face. he had a date with you.

[lifeinahole27]

CS ff: “Tidings of Something” (au)

Summary: When Emma gets injured during a routine bail bonds job, it may be the Christmas miracle she never knew she needed, if only because it finally gets her to open her eyes about the man that helps her through everything. Killian would’ve preferred the Christmas without picking Emma up from a hospital, but doesn’t much mind the way it all turns out.

Rating: Barely even T, I think.

A/N: So maybe it would’ve given me away had I said “Hi @captainmorningstar! I’m your secret santa and I’m never on time!” and she would’ve been like “Oh! My santa is lifeinahole because she never posts anything when she’s supposed to!” and then at least it would’ve been anticlimactic when I forgot to hit anon. Despite all that, I had a blast gathering the info for this and writing it. Thanks to @cssecretsanta2k19 for putting this together - for putting us together. I had such a fun time getting to know my darling giftee and writing this tailored gift for her. I hope you enjoy it, my dear!

-x-

It’s the second week of December, and already Emma has heard the song playing over the speakers at least twenty times. It doesn’t help that there are only thirteen Christmas songs total and the radio stations just cycle through each iteration on an endless loop. Despite all of this, though, Emma is humming along to the soft strains of an instrumental “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” as the pain meds finally start to do their job.

“Swan?”

The sound of his voice is sweeter than any song ever could be, and with a struggle, Emma opens her eyes to the bright fluorescents overhead, blinking until Killian’s face comes into focus above her.

“Hi there,” he says when he can see she’s tuned in.

“Hi,” she responds, her voice dreamy and her smile as big and as dopey as she imagines it is. She’s caught up in the blue of his eyes, the perfect lines of his face, the worry lines crinkling his forehead as he visually checks her over.

She’s fine, of course. Not the first time she sprained her wrist, but the rib subluxation is something she could’ve lived without.

The stress on Killian’s face fades slightly as he looks at her, relief taking its place.

“You had me worried, love.”

“Nothing to worry about,” she wheezes out as she struggles to sit up. “I’m fine.” A deep inhale of breath says otherwise as her left side reminds her of that whole rib thing and she winces, doing her best to keep her breathing even so she doesn’t hurt herself again.

He hums his response, settling onto the bed next to her as he asks her to explain what happened. It’s a brief story, thankfully: bail runner caught on, shoved her as hard as he could, and took off. It wasn’t until she’d slapped the cuffs onto him that she realized she was in pain, once the adrenaline started to wear off. Somehow, she made it to the hospital on her own and it wasn’t until they said she wouldn’t be able to drive home that she realized she was going to need help. Enter Killian: faithful friend, dockworker with an understanding boss, love of her life that she’s never told.

He smells like salt today, and there’s a hint of fish from working so close to the cannery, but she doesn’t mind, not when she carefully rests her head on his shoulder and melts into his embrace grabbing onto his prosthetic hand in a gesture of comfort. She’s not sure how much longer she can stay awake, so she’s thankful when the doctor finally comes in with her final advice for recovery.

Emma’s going to be off work for a while, which is going to suck. She’s set for now, but a month is a long time to go without a paycheck. The only bright side is that she works her ass off all year so she can take it easy around Christmas, so she was looking to spend less time chasing after people anyway. 

She’s been here for a couple days staking out this particular mark, so they have to get her packed and checked out of her hotel. They make arrangements with said hotel to leave her car there until Killian and David can come down to get it, and then Killian is bundling her into the passenger side of his vehicle, easing them onto the highway and turning down the volume when Emma inevitably caves and falls asleep after the first five miles.

She doesn’t wake again until they’re pulling up in front of her apartment building. Then it’s a delicate operation getting her out of the truck and into her apartment. The sprain in her wrist isn’t as bad as it could’ve been. Maybe a little more pressure from the fall and she’d be dealing with a fracture instead, but it certainly doesn’t tickle right now. It’s still easy enough to get changed on her own and settled into the bed, accepting the glass of water that Killian hands her after he knocks to make sure she’s decent.

“Try to rest. I’m going to grab us some dinner and come back in a bit, okay?”

Emma’s too tired to even speak, so she nods, nesting down into her bed and letting her body finally rest.

-x-

It’s only after he knows she’s fast asleep that Killian leaves, carefully locking the apartment door behind him when he goes. He heads to the sheriff’s station first, as he knows David needs to hear in person that his adopted “little” sister got the shite kicked out of her at work today.

Getting the call from Emma was terrifying; he probably would’ve panicked if he’d gotten the call about anyone, but with Emma it’s… different. He’s been in love with her for so long now that he can’t even recall when or how it happened. But he’s the person she calls when she’s in trouble, and a devoted best friend. He can’t mess any of that up with feelings that she doesn’t reciprocate.

“Killian? What are you doing out of work so early? I thought you guys were shutting down the spare docks for the season.”

“We were. But I got called away on an emergency so I left this morning before lunch.

“What kind of emergency?” David asks, his voice and face going deadly serious. There are only so many people in this town Killian knows, and David knows which one he would drop everything for without hesitation.

“Don’t worry, it’s all okay,” Killian says first. “Emma called from Portland because she took a bit of a spill. Nothing is broken, but she’s a little bruised.”

Immediately, Killian can see David popping into “overprotective brother” mode and understands that this is exactly why Killian was called to tend to Emma instead of him.

“How bruised?”

“It’s just a sprained wrist and she almost dislocated a rib. Nothing but some standard pain killers involved. She’s already back home and resting. You and I will have to drive down to Portland this weekend and retrieve her vehicle.”

The other man relaxes, even if just slightly, at hearing that nothing is broken and that she’s already home. Killian’s been around long enough that he knows exactly how this all goes.

“I was hoping, however, to enlist your lovely wife to help keep an eye on her. She’s going to have to refrain from work for a little bit but we both know Emma loves to push herself even when she should be resting.”

“Of course. She’s going to do what she wants, in the end, but maybe we can at least keep her entertained enough that she won’t feel the need to go out looking for trouble.”

He’s always thankful for David. Not only is he a friend to Killian, but he’s on similar wavelengths when it comes to how Emma works. They know she’s a woman of her own mind, and that she is not to be directed, so they work to find healthy alternatives.

For all the years that Emma has been in his life, she’s been chasing bail skips. He’s seen it hurt her but he’s also seen how much of a thrill she gets from a victory. It probably feels like vengeance against Neal every time she catches a scumbag that should be in jail, and so he’s happy to support her ventures. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t scare the daylights out of him when she gets injured, though.

One thing is for sure, he will always stand by her decisions, will stand beside her in every way he can, but he’s still allowed to wish she’d take the position David offered her as a deputy for their sleepy little town. He understands why she can’t, but it doesn’t stop him from hoping sometimes.

-x-

When Emma wakes up, it’s to a much darker apartment, but she can smell food. That’s what draws her slowly from her bedroom, taking her time and being extremely cautious with her left side.

She loves her job. She wishes it wouldn’t lead to moments like this, but this is the exception and definitely not the rule. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t think about joining the simple life sometimes.

A while ago, David offered her a position at the station as a deputy. She said “no” without even really thinking about it, but over the last couple months she’s been thinking more and more about what it would mean to take it.

She wouldn’t likely get beaten up anymore, that’s for sure. Storybrooke is more about minor traffic violations, and a yearly dispute, usually between two of the miners that happen to be brothers, and only after they’ve been drinking after work. They deal with petty squabbles and neighborly disagreements, but they’re so simple and easy to solve, and at the end of the day, everyone still loves each other in this town.

Having a job at the station would mean seeing her brother more often, and staying in town. It would mean a dedicated health care plan and like, a 401k. It would pay the bills a little more predictably than her current adventures. And while that’s all really boring stuff at this point, it would feel good not to worry about those things as much as she does right now.

And so she considers telling Killian she’s been thinking about it again. Been thinking about a lot of things, really, but she can’t tell him – not when he looks so devastatingly handsome standing in her kitchen plating up whatever’s been heating in her oven while she’s been sleeping. Because there’s always the chance he doesn’t feel the same way, and taking a job at the station means she can’t just leave if it all goes to shit.

“You’re awake!”

Her attention is brought back to the man in her apartment and Emma shakes off the rest of her thoughts. This right here, having time with her friend, is what matters more than anything.

They settle in and eat dinner, watching a movie when they’re done and everything has been cleaned up (by Killian, of course, because he wouldn’t let her lift a finger). She falls asleep on his shoulder less than halfway through, succumbing to the chaos of the day earlier than she meant to.

When she wakes again, it’s morning, and she’s in her bed.

There’s a note on the fridge telling her to take it easy, and she scoffs at it as she goes to brew coffee. It’s not like she had anything planned for the day, work or otherwise.

She’s not sure if he made the plans for her or if Elsa decided on her own, but it’s just after noon when there’s a knock on her door and the blonde is standing there with a deck of cards and a tray of to-go hot chocolates.

“Did he put you up to this?”

“Nope. Told me what happened but I decided to do this all on my own. Besides, you probably didn’t have plans today anyway.”

Her words are an echo of her previous thoughts, so she shrugs a little and opens the door wide to let Elsa in.

“I was surprised you didn’t call David,” Elsa says after they’re settled in around her coffee table, lounging on cushions and blankets, looking like they’ve nested for the remainder of the winter.

“He would’ve flipped out. And Snow would’ve mothered me to death. Killian panicked, but he at least takes care of me the way I need him to.” She’s staring at the cards in her hand, trying to decide if it’s worth it to keep looking for an ace or to start discarding them from her hand.

Elsa hums at that, and Emma gives her a look. “What’s that noise for?”

“Oh, you know.”

When her friend doesn’t continue, Emma stares harder.

“Oh, come on, Emma. What was it you said to me once about knowing me before you knew me?”

Emma takes her time responding, shuffling her cards and finally discarding the five of diamonds instead of the ace. “I said I knew you because I knew myself. We were both loners, looking out for ourselves, and trying not to hurt anyone else along the way.”

“Exactly. That’s the kind of bond we had when we were still a pinch hostile towards each other when I moved here, and now we’re friends. So imagine how much more I know about you now, and how much you’re avoiding the elephant in the room.”

She stares at Elsa, trying to gauge exactly what she’s talking about. She knows it’s in reference to Killian, but Emma works so hard to keep that secret buried deep. There’s no way Elsa could know how she feels, is there?

“When are you going to tell him how you feel?” Elsa asks, eliminating all questions about what thinly veiled conversation they’re having.

“Never.”

“Emma.”

“He can’t know.”

“Why not?”

“Because he doesn’t need this baggage hanging around him when I could run at any moment.” She blurts it out, surprising even herself with the intensity of the words.

Elsa puts her cards down, completely abandoning the game at hand and reaches over for Emma.

“Has it ever occurred to you that if you ran, he would follow you?”

“I’m not sure he would, actually.”

“That man would follow you to the ends of the earth, or time, if he had to. But if you need proof, please look at the guy that left work in the middle of the day to drive to Portland to pick you up and take care of you because he knows the right way to take care of you. Your words.”

Her little speech is topped off with a raise of one of her perfect eyebrows.

“I’m not saying you need to confess your feelings right now,” she adds, grabbing the cards from Emma’s hand and gathering them all to re-deal. “But think about it. Also you should’ve discarded the ace. I’m doing you a favor.”

Emma shakes her head as she motions for Elsa to continue, taking a moment to sip from her hot chocolate and consider her options. She sets herself a deadline of January 1. Maybe by then she can make up her mind what to do or not do.

-x-

On Saturday, early in the morning, Killian pulls up outside of Emma’s apartment. David is dropping off Snow to spend time with her while they go down to Portland to get Emma’s Bug. 

But before they can get to that part of the plan, they have to make it there first.

Killian and David actually have a fantastic relationship. They bonded over having pains in the ass for brothers, and their friendship with Emma (even if David’s goes a little deeper than his own – being siblings by legal decree does mean a little more than “best friend” after all). But currently, you’d think they were strangers with the way the silence sits heavy between them in David’s SUV.

He tries to think of things to talk about, but nothing comes to mind but how to tell his very good friend that he’s in love with Emma. That’s not a conversation for a car trip where he literally cannot escape if the other man tries to aim his side of the vehicle at a tree.

Finally, he settles on something more mundane, asking what David got Snow for Christmas, and if he had any good ideas for what to get Emma this year.

That, of course, derails the conversation pretty quickly.

“You could get her your honesty about how you feel about her,” David suggests, still driving in the same calm and collected manner he has been the whole time.

“Pardon?’

“You heard me. I think she’s the only person in Storybrooke that doesn’t know how you feel.”

“Aye, well, all the more reason to not tell her. I don’t need to scare her off.”

“Why would that scare her off?” David asks, glancing over at Killian to see the tired look on his face.

“I know Emma. I know how she thinks. And she’s sworn off love for so long that I feel if I admitted my attractions that she would split as soon as she could,” he says in response.

“You never know until you try,” comes the answer to his statement, but Killian isn’t convinced.

“Does she need a new blanket for the living room, do you think?”

“You two are more alike than you think,” is David’s final comment before letting Killian successfully change the subject without returning to it again.

When they get to Portland, Killian stops in at the front desk to let him know he’s back to gather Emma’s car, making sure everything is still squared away with that before he goes out and gives David a thumbs up. The other man still waits until he sees that the Bug is successfully running, and then they both head back on the road to get home.

Killian has to pull into a gas station not long after they start driving, though, after a glance at the gauges tells him that Emma never bothered to fill up after she got here. He checks over the contents of the car quickly, making sure nothing was disturbed as he finds that the passenger door was also unlocked this whole time.

One item in particular draws him up short, however, when he reads the heading and discovers it to be an apartment application for a building not far from the hotel he just left.

When was she planning on telling anyone she was interested in moving down here? By the looks of it, she got two-thirds through the application before it was left on her passenger seat.

His heart sinks looking it over, where she’s even filled out potential move-in dates for right after the holidays are over. He can’t imagine Emma living outside of Storybrooke. She was there when he moved to the US and she’s been there for him ever since, and he never imagined she would leave. Apparently, though, she had other plans that she wasn’t sharing.

Maybe he should invest in some packing materials for Christmas in order to help her, if that’s what she wishes to do.

With every mile he drives closer to home, the more his heart aches. Should he tell her he found the application? Should he try to convince her to stay? No – he’s always claimed he would support her in anything and everything she ever did, and this change in location will be no different.

Instead, what Killian decides to do by the time he gets back, is bury the knowledge of what he’s found. If Emma wants to move, she will tell him - tell all of them - in her own time. 

By the time he makes it back to Storybrooke, he’s worked his own mind into a frenzy. All he wants to do is drop off the keys and get back home. But when he gets to Emma’s door, he can smell the food first, and hear the laughter of their friends beyond the wood. Emma must sense his arrival because she whips open the door right as he’s about to knock.

“We thought you got lost!” she says, smiling wide and yanking on his sleeve to pull him inside. “We made dinner. Come join us.”

Despite his internal turmoil, Killian obliges, kicking off his shoes by the door and hanging his coat where it always hangs. He heads to the kitchen table when he’s settled, doing his best to put on a happy mask and enjoy the time with his loved ones. 

He sets himself into the easy rhythm of traditions, passing the food in the order they always choose, and stacking the plates in a particular way when everyone is done. 

As a group, they initiate cleanup. Emma and Killian fall to their respective roles of washing and drying the plates, while David packs up the food and stores the leftovers away. He and Snow leave shortly after with their own container of food, leaving Emma and Killian by themselves as they finish the dishes. 

A million times, he tells himself to stay quiet, but that doesn’t stop him from blurting it out after five minutes. “So, the Portland Arms is a nice building.”

“It… you saw the application.”

“It was on the seat of your vehicle, so yes, I saw the application,” he says with much more attitude than he meant to. 

“It’s just…”

“Just what, love? Just a couple hours away? Just a change of scenery and nothing else will change?”

“I was going to say ‘just an application’ but you’re right with both of those, too.”

Killian sighs, deflating a bit as he places the last dry dinner plate on the stack. “I’m sorry, Swan, it’s just the thought of you leaving is a lot to take in. But if it’s truly what you want, then just let me know what you need me to do and I’ll be happy to help.”

“Hold your horses,” she tells him, patting him on the arm when her hands are dry. “I’m not going anywhere yet. Like I said, it’s just an application. I don’t know if I want to move in the middle of winter so it may be a while.”

That her obstacle is the middle of winter rather than anything else tells him a lot about her feelings on the matter, so he lets it drop. 

-x-

It feels like there’s something brewing that Emma can’t control. She’s not sure what exactly, but ever since they went down to get her car and Killian found that stupid application that she left on her seat, there’s been some underlying tension that they can’t seem to shake. He’s been moody, but also pretending he isn’t. She’s not sure why she didn’t tell him the truth, but it’s her own damn business, anyway! 

On Christmas Eve, he comes over as he always does in order to decorate her tree. Normally, Emma is fully immersed in the process of picking out, cutting down, and hauling in of her tree. This year, she had to skip the second and third parts of that, only having a hand in picking out the one she wanted while David and Killian were the ones to bring it in. It’s been in the stand for a couple days now just waiting for the trimming part, but they always wait until the day before to do that together. 

While David and Snow are busy decorating theirs and getting their little family home ready for the holiday, Killian comes to her apartment. He doesn’t put up a tree of his own because he spends so much of his time at Emma’s place. 

He doesn’t do a lot of holiday decorating for that same reason, and Emma gets why he might be upset with the idea of her moving to Portland because all of his traditions that have been formed over the years will be moving with her. 

Clearly, she didn’t consider how hard he might take it if she actually moved away. 

But as she carefully sits there unwrapping and adding ornaments to the tree, she can’t imagine doing this without him. They have assigned parts in this play: they pick the tree together, and Killian puts on the lights while she fetches the skirt and the ornaments, then he’s in charge of the garland and Emma tops the whole thing with the star. 

This year they had to make some concessions to make sure Emma doesn’t hurt herself, but she’s still taking care of the ornaments while Killian struggles to get the beaded garland untangled. He’s muttering to himself, saying how he meant to wrap them around something last year when they packed it all up, but it’s all a diatribe to himself and she just listens and tries her best not to laugh. 

He’s helpless. Adorable and helpless. And she doesn’t really realize what she’s doing until she’s already moving towards him - the small swan ornament she’d been holding is abandoned back in the box and she’s grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling him towards her.

There’s a look of shock on his face as she tugs him down, and then she’s not thinking about how there was no warning leading up to this but how right it feels to be kissing him. Killian’s surprise wears off quickly and then he’s kissing her back, wrapping his arms around her waist. She can feel the beads of the garland digging into her side where he clearly didn’t drop the strand but she doesn’t care, especially when her hand buries into his hair and she’s not sure she ever wants to surface from this again. 

He sighs out her name as they break apart at one point, and that’s when reality comes crashing down on her. What is she doing? And what is he doing kissing her back like that?

“I’m - I’m sorry. I’ll be right back,” Emma stutters out, making a dash for the bathroom. She takes her time, pressing a cool washcloth to her face and running the faucet for far too long before she exits again. 

When she comes back, the living room is empty. The garland is neatly strung around the tree, but the coat rack reveals no extras and it’s clear that he’s made a swift exit while she tried to collect herself. 

There’s a note by the tree, hastily scrawled but still more beautiful than most handwriting she’s ever seen. In it, Killian explains that he’s had a rather long day and he’s headed home to get some sleep, but that he’ll see her in the morning when they all exchange gifts. With a sigh, she turns back to her ornaments, adding the last few she had left before.

It takes her that long to realize that Killian has already added the star to the top of the tree, probably foreseeing that she can’t stretch like that on her own right now. She doesn’t even plug it in to see it all completed, instead flipping off the rest of the lights and making sure the door is locked before going to bed.

She knows why she kissed Killian - she wanted to. She wanted… wants him. She just doesn’t know why he kissed her back like a man on a mission and then bolted while she tried to make heads and tails of the situation. 

Her dreams are fraught with weird scenarios, one of which has her tangled in strands of lights and garland, trapped in a Christmas prison. She calls out for help repeatedly, but never gets an answer. Then she calls out Killian’s name and she can immediately hear a response for her to hold on, that he’s on his way.

In the morning, she wakes with that dream fresh in her mind and her heart still aches a little at the message. In all situations, great and small, she knows without a doubt that Killian will be there to help her. So what’s holding her back from telling him how she feels? 

The whole day feels different. Killian is usually the first one at her door in the morning but he’s not there when David and Snow show up. They’re the ones helping Emma put together brunch, just waiting for the oven timer to ding when Killian finally walks through the door looking like he slept about as roughly as Emma did. 

“Sorry I’m late,” he tells her as she helps him out of his coat. “Had to take care of some things at home.”

It’s a lie. She’s not sure she’s ever heard him lie to her this blatantly before. He’s lied to her about small things before, but this is the first time she’s heard him outright lie this bad since they drove down to Boston one summer and he claimed he wasn’t lost. When they ended up in New Hampshire, he finally admitted his wrongdoing. 

But when she looks a little harder at him, he averts his eyes, moving instead to remove his boots and wander over to where Snow and David have already made themselves comfortable in the living room. 

That’s the way it is all through brunch and the cleanup from their meal, and even most of the way through presents. He only really looks at her again when he thanks her for his gift. His eyes say volumes about how he’s feeling, so while the words were quiet, he’s practically screaming his gratitude in looks alone. 

When she opens the gift from him, her heart almost stops. Nestled in the small box is a swan pendant, vastly different than the last one she owned when she was younger, and already holding a lot more meaning than the little keychain some asshole once lifted from a gas station for her. She kept the old pendant for the longest time as a reminder not to trust anyone. It was Killian that helped her finally get rid of that necklace, patiently sitting with her as she took her time, made peace with all the bad memories, and then chucked it into the ocean from the boat he’d taken her out on that day.

“I hoped it would have slightly better memories than the last one,” Killian says, and she didn’t even notice him move closer until she realizes how near his voice is. “May I?”

She nods, watching in silence as he lifts the necklace from the box, taking his time to grasp the clasp between his fingers and pinching it open while holding the other side with his prosthetic. She holds her hair up and out of the way as he latches the necklace behind her, his fingers lingering just a bit before he abruptly stands. 

“If you’ll excuse me, I’ve some work to attend to,” he says, looking regretfully at Emma before he heads for the door. He makes sure to gather his gifts, thanking David and Snow before slipping from the apartment as quickly as he showed up. 

It takes some acting, but she plays off his departure as nothing major. It’s clear he’s never mentioned the apartment application to David and Snow or else one of them would’ve blurted out an objection already. So she plays along and smiles through the rest of their time together. 

Just after they eat dinner, Snow excuses herself. “I’m going home for a moment, and I’ll be back with more cookies,” she tells them. 

Another lie, Emma can tell, but she lets her friend go, realizing pretty quickly this is a case of Divide and Conquer between the married couple. 

“I’m going to make you more hot chocolate. And when it’s done, we’re going to have a talk,” David says when the door has shut behind his wife, confirming her suspicions. 

Emma bites back the smile the best she can and follows him into the kitchen.

-x-

It’s snowing and cold but Killian doesn’t really notice any of it. His hand is shoved into his pocket and his prosthetic is resting on the wooden railing overlooking the docks. 

“I would be lost without you,” he repeats to himself. It’s the inscription she put on the inside of the compass, a beautiful rosewood piece that he would normally be so excited to display in his home until it was time to bring his own boat out of winter storage. 

Now, after everything that’s happened the last couple weeks, he can’t tell its intended meaning. She’s talking about moving, and then she kisses him, and then runs away, and then gives him this particular gift with this particular message? 

He watches his breath fog out in front of him, noticing that even that looks sad and aggravated.

“Thought I might find you out here,” comes a voice from behind him.  He turns to find Snow standing there, bundled against the cold and holding a hot mug that she hands to him.

The tea is one of his favorites, and he sighs in the comfort of the gesture.

“You two have been keeping secrets from us,” Snow says. “You don’t need to tell me everything, since I’m sure it means more to you and Emma than it does to me or David. There’s some things that I do know. It’s that you don’t get a happy ending without working for it, and that everyone deserves love. I can tell you have feelings for Emma that go beyond best friends. And though she’d never admit it, I’m pretty sure Emma feels the same way.”

“You’d get along with my brother,” Killian says, managing a smile. It doesn’t last, though. “And I don’t know if she truly does.”

“You won’t know until you talk to her.” Snow reaches out and clasps his arm. “Look, Emma has waited a long time for someone to come into her life that she trusts enough to give her heart to. And I think she so badly wants it to be you, but she’s too scared to make a move without knowing for sure how you feel.”

It’s sound advice, to maybe even make things a little more obvious to her. Handing her a necklace doesn’t explain his reasoning behind it - that he not only bought it because he thought of the way she’d smile when she saw it, but also because she deserves to replace every last memory from the last man she trusted that broke her heart. 

Snow shivers, bringing him back to the present and he’s finally aware of the snow falling heavier now than it was before. “It’s cold out here. Go home,” she tells him. “And Merry Christmas!” With a quick peck on his cheek, Snow turns and walks up the path back towards where she can see David waiting in his truck to pick her up. 

He turns back towards the water, staring out at the darkness beyond his vision. 

His friend is right. He needs to tell Emma how he feels, and he needs to do it before it’s too late. Liam always tells him that a man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets. With one more look out to the water, he turns to head back to Emma’s apartment, but she’s already there.

She’s a couple meters away, shivering slightly despite her warm weather gear, and it’s only once Killian turns that she seems to come back to herself. 

“What are you doing out here, love? It’s freezing.”

“Says the man out here without a scarf or a glove or a hat?”

“I wasn’t really planning on staying out long. It just sort of… happened.” 

“Killian.”

“No wait, there’s something I need to say before we go any further.” He braces himself quickly, moving towards her slowly as he starts to speak. “When I met you, I was a broken man. I'd lost what I thought was the love of my life. After that first Christmas I spent with you, I felt like maybe my heart could move on one day. You invited me to join your family and your traditions, and for the first time in a long time I felt that hope that I'd find love again. And by the next Christmas, I wanted to find that love with you.”

He stops when he’s close enough to see the way the snowflakes catch on her eyelashes, and the way she keeps brushing them out of her hair. 

“I was always afraid to say anything for fear that you’d go running from me, since I’d heard all the stories you’d told me about the men you’d been with. I figured if you kept repeating ‘I’m never dating again’ enough in my presence that I should probably heed that warning.”

Emma chuckles under her breath at that, inching her way closer to him as he does the same to her. 

“Snow told me you’ve waited a long time to find a man to give your heart to. I’m truly hoping if you’d be lost without me that it means I may be the one you’re ready to try again with?”

“I know the engraving was cheesy but it fits too well, and it’s absolutely true. I would be lost without you.” The words come out quietly, and his breath catches in his throat as her fingers find the pirate’s luck necklace she bought him a few years ago. “I know I didn’t make it easy for you to tell me the truth, but I want you to know I feel the same way. What do you say, should we make this official? Kiss again and not have either of us go running for the hills afterward?” She means for it to lighten the mood, but he can’t help but be perfectly honest with his next words. 

“Your heart’s desire, Swan. That’s all I want.”

Her responding smile is bright and she leans forward just as he does. For a moment, all they do is touch their foreheads together, savoring this moment and breathing the other in - this closeness feels different than all the other times in their shared lives. When her fingers link with his, that’s when Killian moves again, angling his head and pressing his lips to hers. 

This time is sweeter, with much more meaning behind it.

“Does this mean you aren’t moving to Portland?”

“Killian. I was never moving to Portland. My skip worked in the housing office at that building and I needed the application as a cover to get to him.”

“And you couldn’t have just told me that when I brought it up?”

“I got defensive! It’s a knee-jerk reaction.”

“You got the ‘jerk’ part right, at least.”

She points a finger at him, a wordless warning that he’s been on the receiving end of multiple times. 

“Let’s go home,” she tells him, smiling as he lifts one of her gloved hands to press his lips against it. 

It’s later when she kisses him goodnight when she tells him she took the job at the station, and he feels like this may be the best Christmas he’s ever had. 

-x-

The next Christmas, the box she unwraps is engraved, and the contents inside of it make her tear up. 

“Where you lead,” he whispers, “will you let me be by your side?”

Her response of ‘yes’ is quickly lost in the way that they kiss, and they inform David and Snow to make it Christmas dinner instead of brunch, just so they have time to get their celebrating out of the way before they tell everyone else.

The End!

[hyperfixateandchill]

aaand because I can’t stop thinking about it i’ve written down my ranking of post-finale deancas scenarios including a non-exhaustive list of pros and cons for each. read on at your own discretion.

1st place: Deancas open up the new Roadhouse. My personal favorite because, again, Dean’s canon dream. I think Dean would LOVE running his own bar and playing host and serving people food and drinks is basically his love language. Cas isn’t as into the bar vibe specifically but he enjoys seeing people come and go and getting to know the locals who come by and just being with Dean. They get to stay connected to the hunting world without being actual hunters which is probably the perfect win win situation for them.

Other Pros of the Bar scenario (i’ve thought about this a lot): Claire and Kaia come by increasingly often to visit until eventually Claire basically works part-time at the Roadhouse when she’s not off hunting and Dean starts only semi-ironically calling it the “family business.” Claire puts up pride flag stickers on the front door and Dean makes a thing of it at first but then warms up to the idea. People start catching on and now local queer people will come from several towns over to visit the bar because there aren’t exactly that many queer friendly spaces in their corner of Kansas. Then it’s pride month and Claire and Kaia secretly update the bar’s online info to explicitly draw in queer customers and on the evening of the nearest pride march the bar is PACKED with all the local gays and Cas has the pop music blaring and he will NOT let Dean change it but it’s ok because Dean’s made friends with a drag queen who’s a professional comedian and now they’re comparing calendars to see when she might be able to come do a set at the Roadhouse and basically their bar is now a gay bar. “LGBT friendly”, Dean insists, because 1. he’s not gay and 2. he still caters to the local straights and the hunters. but now hunters come in and end up sitting 2 stools away from a flamboyant!gay and some are slightly weirded out but most don’t care at all and all of them end up making some kind of comment about how they’d heard about Dean Winchester and his angel... guess it’s true huh? And Dean shoots them a cocky grin and says ‘yep’ but he still holds to the rule that pop music is only allowed on tuesdays and thursdays and maybe very late at night on the weekends when everybody’s drunk and dancing. The Roadhouse is a second home to Dean and it’s the perfect mix of middle american dive, hunter’s hangout and lgbt space, and that’s literally DEAN so it’s perfect and he gets to work with his family by his side and be a part of a community (or several) and he feels useful and happy.

Cons of the Bar scenario: Doesn’t work great with having a small child or hobbies. very long hours and unusual work schedule. would encourage Dean’s drinking habit. I.e. it might be more intense than some alternatives (unless the bar is more cafe/diner during the day and Claire/Kaia/whatever other youngins can mind the place on their own if deancas aren’t in and the bar is located quite close to their house to they can come and go).

Overall works pretty well for a more active/energetic take on deancas’s lives post-finale. 8/10

2nd place: Mix of mechanic!Dean and retired!deancas. Dean’s never had a proper job before or much of a social circle who aren’t hunters, so I find it hard to imagine Dean working at an autoshop and playing mr. normie with his coworkers. Same with Cas and a regular job.

What I can imagine, however, is Dean having his own small business where he fixes up old cars (for like, vintage car enthusiasts). It starts as a hobby but then he realizes people would pay him to do it so now it’s a business. Deancas obviously have a a house on a big plot of land near the woods and a lakeside, so there’s plenty of outdoor space for him to set up a small shop and most of his customers call ahead so he doesn’t have people just coming in anyway. The work is not quite enough to pay all the bills but again, Charlie’s magic credit card, so who cares. Cas gardens and beekeeps and occasionally sells the extras at the local farmer’s market. Dean cooks and fishes and uses Cas’s ingredients whenever possible. They spend their days on their own property, doing their hobbies on their own time and making enough money from them that they don’t feel useless and still have plenty of time left to get over-involved in Jack’s pta. It’s a very calm, contented life. the millennial hipster dream, fulfilled by two 40-some year old dads.

Pros: deancas getting to spend their days doing what they love, being ridiculously domestic and married (even if they’re not officially married), both being absolute malewives in their own ways and it’s disgustingly sweet.

Cons: this scenario doesn’t have quite as much excitement and opportunity for shenanigans as the bar scenario. Less connection to a community, more living like hermits. Dean might appreciate the more social atmosphere of a bar. Cas might be equally happy either way, but he’d probably like having Claire help them out at the bar so that’s a plus for him.

Overall a good scenario for a more placid semi-retired life. 7/10

3rd place: a bait and switch. Cas is the one who ends up still having something you could call a ‘job’, Dean is the househusband. It starts with deancas still helping saileen with HOL (hunters of letters) stuff but eventually Dean is very decided that he wants out now that things are in good hands. Cas agrees with him but still consults with the hol network since he’s got all that lore knowledge. Dean very occasionally helps with research/strategy for a hunt but that’s IT no more hunting for him, and so it ends up that Cas still comes by the bunker fairly often and works from home the rest of the time on research and translations etc and Dean’s 100% amateur chef-in-training and papa bear because now nobody can look down on him for being a housewife (or nobody he gives a shit about anyway) so he’s gone all in. and whenever he comes by the bunker these days is after he’s picked up Jack from school and he comes to join their family to cook them all dinner while they finish up the work.

Pros: love me a Dean who’s gotten over his hypermasculinity and is now comfortable with doing whatever he likes even if (sometimes specially if) that thing is considered stereotypically feminine. It’s his big fuck you to his dad and it’s the life mary had wanted when she was young and dean is mary and therefore he’s honoring her memory when he spends his days on a bright airy kitchen making lunch for his 4 year old and waiting for his ex-soldier husband he adores to come home and doing not one bit of hunting. except dean never had to lie about his past and cut ties with his hunter family to get this. which is why this time for him it works, when it didn’t for mary or sam. love that energy.

Cons: Dean is not in fact just a malewife and would probably still want some more action in his life. might feel kinda useless with Cas having a ‘thing’ to do when he doesn’t. Cas would be perfectly happy regardless though.

Overall heartwarming and sweet but not as realistic: 6/10

4th: Disheveled-magic-shop-owner!Cas (+ Sam and Dean). Just thought of this. Cas knows his shit about spell ingredients and magical objects and supernatural weapons, probably more than even Sam. And Cas gardens. And Cas most likely enjoys pinterest and mom blogs and finds out about etsy... So Cas may or may not start growing/hoarding specific goods he knows are useful in the hunting world. at first it’s just to help HOL out but eventually Dean realizes like... we could profit off of this? And Cas eye-rolls because he doesn’t care but then again he knows his shit so he sets up a poorly-designed website to sell hunting stuff. and maybe Sam goes in on it with him because Sam also knows his shit and it’s kind of cute because they work together and Dean probably does the mechanic/barkeep/househusband thing though he does help with making the special bullets and dropping off parcels at the post office and so on. And maybe eventually they open up a small magic shop where they sell their shit. And maybe the shop is next door to the Roadhouse and it’s all become ‘your one-stop shop for everything a hunter might need’ (and you know the gays like their new age shit too so it all works), and the bunker isn’t even far away either and all three business are interconnected, the ‘family business’ that AU John Winchester of Hunter Corp wished he’d created.

Pros: Cas gets to do a thing he’s knowledgeable and passionate about and Deancas get to leave hunting while staying adjacent to the community. Cas as a disheveled shopkeep who’s not particularly nice to customers but who provides them with insights and mysterious comments that make people certain he must be legit.

Cons: Cas using his knowledge of the supernatural to profit off of hunters sounds too capitalist and not very Cas-like. He would be the type to gladly give people stuff for free and methinks that Dean and Sam would feel that way too. Cas helping with HOL stuff is basically established in options 1-3 already and so is him gardening for potentially useful ingredients. He doesn’t need to sell this stuff in a shop.

Overall makes sense theoretically but doesn’t vibe well for me. 5/10

5th: full on retirees, doing basically the same things as no 2 except with maybe some more travelling and less caring about making money from any of it.

Pros: the “and they lived happily ever after” they deserve after all the shit they’ve been through.

Cons: boring. uneventful. Dean and Cas are still quite young and neither’s had a chance at something even resembling a normal life for more than a couple of months at a time. They should get more of a middle aged married life experience before moving on to full retirement.

Overall valid but less interesting: 4/10

6th: Cas gets a job at a local library or shop, Dean is either a mechanic or a househusband. To preface, if Cas were to get a job out there in the world, my favorite would be like a magic shop or a bookshop with *unique* books. But I find that unlikely unless Cas is running his own shop (see 4th place for that). So here we’re talking about a regular normie shop.

Pros: Cas has a job he likes and feels useful in? And he’s not completely tied down to Dean all the time (though not sure that counts as a pro). More of the ‘normal life’ vibes.

Cons: Cas working at a random bookstore or library or shop or whatever would be passably interesting but not as fulfilling or useful or fun as any of the other options.

Overall valid but not interesting or all that heartwarming. 2/10

6th: deancas don’t know any life outside of hunting so they keep on doing it, except now with lower stakes than before and they go on less actual hunts.

pros: umm... consistency? they keep working closely with saileen and the new hunters who start coming by/moving into the bunker.

cons: everything. Dean’s wanted out and he should get it. Cas literally died several times over and he should get to experience a human life with the man he loves and not just do more dangerous shit.

Overall a terrible idea. 1/10 (because 0/10 would be the Cas never comes back and Dean dies and goes to heaven scenario)