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thesilmarillionblog · 1 month

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𓏲 𓂃 L o s i n g Y o u

Summary: Everything was good as a member of Payback and Soldier Boy's secret girlfriend until the team and your relationship with him began to fall apart due to a new member and her developing relationship with Ben right in front of your eyes.

Pairing: Soldier Boy / Reader

Warnings: Heavy angst, hurt, heartless Soldier Boy, reader gets hurt, mention of violence, mention of drugs, betrayal, Soldier Boy being a dick, reader is a supe, Crimson Countess is a bitch

Word Count: 1796

A/N: English is not my first language.

* This story is inspired by the song "Losing You" by Dream Evil.

“Get lost fuckface and bring me a coffee,” Ben said telling the the poor guy who was trying his best to make Soldier Boy happy till the broadcast start.

The announcement of the new Payback member to the American public was scheduled for today. The company's executives had already made the decision to bring on a new employee, despite the fact that the team already had enough members. Everyone on the team opposed this idea, with the exception of Soldier Boy and you, but nothing changed.

You didn't mind if a new person joined the team because they were assigning Soldier Boy all tasks, regardless of importance, and you could see he was growing more and more irate with each passing day. Given that Black Noir was the team's second-strongest member, it was obvious Soldier Boy didn't appreciate the concept of being used for insignificant tasks constsantly. It was obvious that the team definitely required one more strong member.

“You don’t have to be so rude to those people,” you murmered as you approached Ben. "They are all scared of you already.”

Ben chuckled as he sat down and sniffed the white dust, saying, “I am not familiar with the concept of princess treatment, sweetheart, and nobody respects a pussy leader; keep that in mind.”

You sighed knowing he would never change his attitude just because you told him to. He pulled you to his lap and gave you a quick and firm kiss, silencing you before you argue with him.

All of you were taken aback when a new supe was introduced because you hadn't seen her before. She smiled and gave a short but impactful speech about how she would benefit America and its citizens. She looked nice and strong with her red suit and long red hair.

You were only made to feel worse by the fact that everyone was rooting for Soldier Boy and Crimson Countess every day, and their fan base became stronger over time. The current Crimson Countess stood on the side where you used to stand. They were singing together in ads while standing side by side and hand in hand, which was keeping you up at nights. The growing distance between you and Ben was eating you alive.

He hardly ever visited or spoke to you during the day, despite the fact that he used to spend the night with you in the past. There were moments when you tried to talk to him about what was going on, but he waved you off right away, saying he had things to do and couldn't be seen with any other woman but the Countess.

You were frequently questioned about their relationship, and you smiled while telling the cameras that they were lucky to have found each other and that they were strong together. If only they were aware of your true feelings.

Even though Ben continued to treat Noir rudely, which greatly upset and angered you, the rest of the crew was glad that Soldier Boy had finally become distracted. This was because they had been mistreated and bullied by him less than in the past. You two had heated disagreements over Noir as well in the past, but Ben consistently ignored your emotions and ideas. Now that Crimson also supported him about how he should treat the team made your blood boil with hatred and agony.

Noir remarked, removing his mask, “I can't do this, Y/N. I refuse to bow to him and put up with the way he treats me.”

You walked up to him and touched his back to get him to turn to face you. “What do you mean?” you questioned.

“I’m saying he is not worthy of being a leader.” Noir paced violently and stated, “All he does is get high with Crimson and bully me and everyone around him. He left you aside too.”

Though you knew he didn’t mean to hurt you, his words cut deep and silenced you for a second.

“Don’t do something crazy, Noir. You hear me?” You asked, ignoring his thoughts about Ben leaving you. “You know his short temper.”

Noir was always kind and kind, so you were surprised to see him so furious, but you knew he was right about everything, and Ben seemed to be getting worse and more distant every day as his connection with Countess took shape right before your eyes. You seemed to be deceiving yourself all along when you told yourself that their relationship wasn't real.

“I don’t know. Someone must do something about this.”

“You don’t stand a chance against him,” you said as you grasped his arms tightly. “I’ll talk to him, okay. I’ve got this, I promise.”

Noir gave you a nod before he put the mask on, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

You waited patiently until you learned Ben would be alone tonight because Crimson would be going on a mission. Your heart raced when you entered his house without saying anything. He must have heard the noises you made already, because he turned to you immediately and did not look surprised to see you.

“Hi,” you whispered, not knowing how to react around him anymore.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” he asked as he sat down in the coach after. He was high on cocaine.

As you walked up to him, you gave him a disappointed expression, but the way he looked stopped you. In the past, you were close every second, but those days are long in the past now.

“What’s wrong with you?” Your eyes were watery as you asked. It seemed like you would explode at any moment.

“Are fucking on your period? Why so sensitive?” His smile infuriated you, and he laughed as if something amusing had happened. There was something very punchable about his face.

“Why do you still treat Noir like a fucking jackass? He follows your instructions to the letter, and you are simply being disrespectful to him and the team as a whole.” You spoke angrily, as if you wanted him to share your feelings of rage. You wanted to wipe that foolish smile off his face.

His body abruptly shifted, giving you a menacing glance and raising his finger in your direction. “Don't fucking give me some advise. Who the fuck are you? You do realize that I am the fucking boss here, don't you?”

He hasn't been this angry with you in a long time, so you were surprised by his harsh remarks. It seemed like he hated you as he spat those words.

You yelled back, “I don't even know the man I'm talking to anymore,” at which point your tears finally fell. “Since Crimson entered your life, you have changed, Ben. She fucking hates you; she doesn't even love you. Don’t you see it?”

He was eventually enraged by your screams at him, and he stood in front of you with hate in his eyes. Your heart pained when you saw him staring at you like that, with eyes full of anger and fury.

“Do you know what I'm going to do?” He asked softly, as if he were just saying something kind. “I'm fucking gonna kill that masked pussy Noir and fucking make sure you watch through it.”

His cold words frozen you, and your eyes widened seeing he meant every word he said.

You shoved him away by his chest and sobbed, “If you ever touch Noir, I swear I'll cut Countess’ bitch head and throw it to your fucking thick skull.”

You were aware that nothing or no one could stop Ben from doing what he wanted to do, and that you might be the reason Noir was put to death or anything like. Your pulse raced upon witnessing Ben's unexpected outburst of rage against Noir.

Judging by his face, it was clear he was taken aback by your sharp words. You’ve never talked in athreatening way before with anyone. Your sigh and sobbing were the only things that filled the pregnant silence in the room.

“Ben,” you said softly, trying to reach again one more time, and you touched his face, hoping he wouldn’t push your hands back. To your surprise, he didn’t make a move. You looked him into the eyes between your tears and said, “I am the only one who truly loves you. Not her, not anyone else. Just me. What happened to us?”

You waited for him to answer you after you gave him a firm kiss, showing your love and care for him, but he didn’t kiss you back. Instead, he pushed your hands away from his face, with an unreadable look on his face.

“Why are you being selfish?” he asked, breaking the silence, almost irritated by your kindness toward him. “People love seeing me and her together. Duty fucking comes first.”

“You don’t owe love to her just to be loved by people you don’t even know,” you said, trying to convince him he didn’t have to do something he didn’t want to.

“How the fuck do you know I’m doing this for people only?”

“What do you mean?” you asked, as your heart skipped for a moment.

“Maybe I’m fed up with your soft attitude, and I want to be with her. How about that?” He said he was giving you an insidious smile.

With a heavy heart, you stepped back from him as more tears dropped from your cheeks. There was no point trying to convince Ben for your love while he didn’t give a fuck about it at all and the one he wanted was actually Countess.

“Is that what you want?”

“It fucking is,” he said, sitting down in the coach and keeping sniffing cocaine, like the conversation meant nothing to him and he wanted you to be gone.

Before leaving his house, you turned him one last time, saying, “She’ll betray you, Ben. I don’t know if I see that day, but you’ll see it.”

Next Chapter

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A/N: Well, that was a one shot, but let me know if you think that I should make it multi-chapters. Comments are appreciated, hehehe. <33

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lila-lou · 4 months

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✨Beyond saving✨

Summary: Dean became a demon and left you overnight. Three months have passed since then, in which you wanted nothing more than for him to finally come back. However, when he returned, it became painfully clear that he could no longer be saved.

Pairing: Demon!Dean x Reader

Warnings: 18+ only! Smut, Rape, Language, Angst, Hurt, Violence, Humiliation - it´s just pure darkness

Word Count: 4289

A/N: English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙✨

You sat alone in the bunker, your breaths shallow and pained, the echoes of recent battles still reverberating in your mind. Sam, fueled by determination and desperation, had embarked on a relentless search for Dean, accompanied by Castiel. Left behind, you nursed your injuries.

Your ribs ached with every breath, a testament to the encounters with some demons in your relentless search for Dean. Each shadow seemed to whisper his name, taunting you with his absence.

Cradling your injured side, you sank into the cold embrace of a chair, the weight of uncertainty pressing down upon you. How long had it been since Dean had disappeared into the night, consumed by the darkness that had claimed him? The minutes stretched into eternity, each tick of the clock echoing the ache in your heart.

Outside, the world continued to spin, oblivious to the turmoil within the bunker's walls. But for you, time stood still, trapped in a limbo of fear and longing. Every creak of the floorboards, every gust of wind, raised hopes that Dean would materialize before you, his familiar presence a balm to your weary soul.

But as the weeks slipped by, despair threatened to overwhelm you.

In the depths of your despair, a voice whispered a gentle reminder: hope. It was a fragile thread, woven with memories of shared laughter and whispered promises.

With each heartbeat, you whispered a silent vow to never give up on Dean, to keep fighting until he was safely by your side once more.

Two long weeks had passed since Sam and Cas had departed, leaving you to grapple with the silence that hung heavy in their absence. And three months had slipped by since Dean, consumed by the darkness of his demonic transformation, had vanished into the night, his departure leaving a void that seemed impossible to fill.

As you made your way to the kitchen, your movements slow and deliberate, the pain in your ribs flared with every breath.

Reaching the refrigerator, you paused, your hand hovering over the handle as a wave of loneliness washed over you. The prospect of facing another day without Dean, without the warmth of his presence, felt like an insurmountable burden. But you couldn't afford to succumb to despair, not when there was still a glimmer of hope flickering in the darkness.

With a determined exhale, you opened the refrigerator door, the cool air washing over you. Amidst the assortment of food and beverages, your fingers closed around a cold bottle of beer, the familiar label offering a brief respite from the ache that threatened to consume you.

Bringing the bottle to your lips, you took a long swallow. For a fleeting moment, you allowed yourself to linger in the memories of happier times, when laughter had filled the air and the future had seemed full of endless possibilities.

That’s when you heard heavy footsteps echoed through the silence, sending a shiver down your spine as they drew closer. Your heart pounded in your chest, a mixture of fear and longing coursing through your veins. You knew without a doubt who stood seconds later right behind you, his presence a familiar yet chilling presence that sent a tremor of apprehension rippling through your body.

Dean.

The name hung heavy in the air, laden with the weight of everything that had transpired in the months since his transformation into a demon. Three long months had passed since you had last seen him.

And now, as he stood mere inches away, his chest pressed against your back, you couldn't bring yourself to turn around. The air crackled with tension, thick with unspoken words and the palpable sense of danger that surrounded him.

You felt his breath ghost across the nape of your neck, a chilling reminder of the darkness that lurked within him. The urge to turn and face him, to confront the demon that wore Dean's face, warred with the instinct to flee, to put as much distance between you and his darkness.

But as the seconds stretched into eternity, you remained rooted to the spot, paralyzed by the fear that gripped you like a vice. Dean wasn't here to do nice things, of that you were certain. He was a harbinger of chaos, a reminder of the perilous path he had chosen.

And yet, despite the fear that coiled in the pit of your stomach, there remained a flicker of hope, a tiny ember that refused to be extinguished. Deep down, buried beneath the layers of uncertainty and despair, you held onto the belief that somewhere within the depths of the demon that stood behind you, a fragment of the real Dean still existed.

But as the moments ticked by, the silence stretching taut between you, you couldn't shake the nagging doubt that whispered in the recesses of your mind. Would Dean ever be the same again? Or had he been consumed entirely by the darkness that now held him in its thrall?

With a trembling hand, you reached for the bottle of beer on the counter, the cold glass a tangible anchor in the storm of emotions that raged within you. And as you took a fortifying sip, steeling yourself for whatever came next.

Dean's voice cut through the silence like a blade, his words laced with a dark edge that sent a shiver down your spine. "Sweetheart", he drawled, the term dripping with mockery, a cruel reminder of the tender endearments he had once whispered in your ear. "Missed me, did you?", he taunted, his tone sending a chill down your spine.

You could feel his presence behind you, his breath warm against your ear as he leaned in closer. The sensation sent a wave of unease washing over you, his proximity a stark reminder of the danger that lurked within him.

But even as his lips brushed against your ear, sending a shudder of revulsion coursing through you, you couldn't bring yourself to pull away. The memory of the man you had once loved, the man buried beneath the darkness that now consumed him, lingered in the recesses of your mind, a faint echo of a love that refused to die.

And as his lips lingered against your ear, his touch a visceral reminder of the danger that surrounded you, you felt a flicker of defiance ignite within you. Steeling yourself against the fear that threatened to consume you, you squared your shoulders and met his gaze head-on.

"Dean". you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper, "this isn't you. I know you're still in there, somewhere"-. It was a desperate plea, a faint glimmer of hope in the darkness that threatened to engulf you both.

But as you spoke, the shadow that lurked behind his eyes seemed to deepen. And though you longed to reach out and pull him back from the brink, to save him from the darkness that haunted him, you knew that the battle ahead would be fraught with peril.

For Dean wasn't just fighting against the darkness within him; he was fighting against the very essence of his own soul.

Dean’s words struck you like a barrage of bullets, each one piercing your heart with a searing pain that threatened to consume you.

“All I want is to fuck that tight little pussy of yours”, he sneered, his voice dripping with venomous lust. “Tried so many girls these past few weeks, but none of them felt like you”.

Your breath caught in your throat. His words were like a dagger to your soul, shredding any remaining fragments of hope or love you had clung to.

As he pressed you against the unforgiving surface of the kitchen counter, his touch rough and unforgiving, you felt a surge of pain shoot through your body. Bruises blossomed beneath his fingertips. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, but you refused to let him see your weakness.

You were overwhelmed, broken by his actions and his words, but you refused to let him break you completely.

“Stop talking”, you whispered, your voice barely above a hoarse whisper.

Dean's laughter echoed off the walls of the kitchen, a cruel symphony of mockery that reverberated in your ears like a relentless assault. The sound of it sent a shiver down your spine.

"Aw, sweetheart, don't tell me you're jealous", he taunted, his voice dripping with derision as he leaned in closer, his breath hot against your skin. "You wanna know how I fucked all those other girls while you were out there playing the hero, searching for me?".

The words hit you. You had risked everything to find him, to believe in the possibility of redemption, only to be met with scorn and betrayal.

But despite the pain, despite the overwhelming sense of despair that threatened to consume you, you refused to let him see your weakness.

"Go ahead", you spat, your voice laced with a bitter edge. "Show me. Show me just how little I meant to you. How easily you threw away everything we had".

And as he smirked, his features twisted with triumph, you braced yourself for the inevitable onslaught of pain and humiliation. Dean wasn't the man you had loved; he was a monster, a demon wearing the face of the man you once knew.

But even as he moved closer, his hands reaching for you with a hunger that made your skin crawl, you refused to back down. You were broken, yes, but you were not defeated. And as you stood your ground in the face of his darkness.

Dean's eyes gleamed as he leaned in closer. "Oh, sweetheart, you have no idea", he snarled, before he gripped your wrists with a force that made you flinch.

"I'm about to show you just how hard I fucked those sluts", he continued, his voice low and menacing. "Hard enough to land them in the hospital. They begged for it, you know. Begged for the touch of a real man".

The bile rose in your throat at his words, a sickening mixture of disgust and despair threatening to choke you. How could he speak of such violence with such casual indifference?

But even as the questions raced through your mind, you knew there would be no answers. Dean was lost. And as he moved closer, his hands trailing down your body with a possessiveness that made your skin crawl, you knew that this was about to get messy.

Dean's voice dripped with disdain as he sneered, "Where's your motivation, huh? You call yourself a hunter, but here you are, doing nothing to stop me". His words cut through the air like a whip, each syllable laced with hate.

You gritted your teeth against the surge of anger that threatened to consume you, meeting his gaze with a defiant glare. "My motivation", you spat, your voice trembling with suppressed rage, "is to stop you from hurting anyone else. To stop you from causing any more pain and suffering."

Dean's laughter echoed off the walls of the kitchen, a cruel mockery. "You really think you can stop me?", he taunted. "At the end of the night, sweetheart, I'll get what I came for. And there's nothing you can do to stop me".

“You´re pathetic, Dean”.

Dean's hand struck your cheek with a brutal force, the sharp crack of skin against skin echoing through the kitchen. Pain exploded across your face, a searing heat that radiated through every fiber of your being. You stumbled backward, the force of the blow sending you crashing against the wall, the impact jolting your already broken ribs.

Stars danced at the edges of your vision as you fought to regain your bearings, struggling to draw breath through the haze of pain that enveloped you. But even as you gasped for air, the taste of blood filling your mouth, you refused to let him see your weakness.

Dean loomed over you, his features contorted with a twisted mixture of triumph and cruelty. "Is that fire I see in you now, sweetheart?", he sneered, his voice a low, menacing growl. "Good. Because I want something to burn while I fuck you".

Your fists pounded against Dean's chest, each blow fueled by a desperate fury that threatened to consume you. But his laughter only grew louder.

"Aw, sweetheart, is that the best you can do?", he taunted. "I expected more from a hunter like you. But I guess I overestimated your abilities".

With a primal scream, you launched yourself at him once more, determined to land a blow that would wipe the smirk from his face.

But before your fist could connect, Dean moved with speed, his hand closing around your wrists with a vice-like grip. Pain exploded through your body as he squeezed, the bones in your wrists grinding together with a sickening crunch.

You cried out in agony as he pushed you against the kitchen table, the unforgiving surface digging into your spine. Tears welled in your eyes as you struggled against his iron grip, but it was futile. Dean was stronger, more powerful than you could ever be.

"Look at you, all fire and fury", he sneered, his breath hot against your ear. "But in the end, you're just a weak little girl, aren't you?".

With a trembling hand, you tried to push yourself up from the table, but Dean’s hand came down with a force that sent shockwaves of pain radiating through your body. You cried out as he pushed you back down, the unforgiving surface digging into your stomach, leaving you gasping for air.

“Oh, princess, don’t strain yourself”, he mocked. “You’re much prettier when you’re lying down”.

“You know, sweetheart”, Dean taunted. “I always did like a woman who knows her place. And your place is right here, beneath me”.

Dean's laughter filled the room like a sinister symphony, his eyes gleaming with pleasure as he towered over you. "Oh, sweetheart, look at you", he taunted. "All bruised and broken, yet still trying to get up. Admirable, really".

You winced as pain shot through your broken wrists and ribs, rendering you helpless against his looming presence. Every movement sent waves of agony coursing through your body, but you refused to let him see your weakness.

With deliberate slowness, Dean reached for his belt, his fingers tracing the buckle with a predatory precision. "You know, princess", he murmured, his voice low and dangerous, "I've been looking forward to this. Been craving it ever since I left".

Your heart pounded in your chest, a sickening mixture of fear and revulsion churning in the pit of your stomach. You wanted to scream, to fight back with every fiber of your being, but the pain held you captive, a prisoner in your own body.

As Dean slowly undid his belt, a smirk played across his lips, his eyes alight with twisted desire. "You're going to love this, sweetheart", he groaned, his voice laced with a dark promise. "I'll make sure of it".

You knew what was coming, but you were powerless to stop it.

Dean's grip tightened around you as he pushed you further down the table, his movements rough. You winced as your broken wrists bore the brunt of his force, each new position sending fresh waves of pain shooting through your body.

With a smirk, Dean reached for the waistband of your shorts and panties, his fingers trailing along the fabric with a slowness that made your skin crawl. "Let's see what we have here, shall we?", he mused, his voice thick with anticipation.

As he pulled them down, exposing your dry folds to his leering gaze, a wave of humiliation washed over you. You felt exposed, vulnerable, as if every last shred of your dignity had been stripped away.

Dean's eyes alight with amusement. "Well, well, well", he taunted, his voice dripping with disdain. "Looks like you're making this harder than it should be, sweetheart. What's the matter? Not as wet as you used to be?".

You wanted to scream, but all you could do was lie there, exposed and humiliated, as Dean continued to mock and degrade you.

"Oh, sweetheart, this is going to hurt", he chuckled.

"You always did have trouble taking me, didn't you?", Dean jeered. "But don't worry, sweetheart. I'll make sure you feel every inch of me".

His words struck you like a physical blow, a reminder of the intimacy you once shared, now twisted into something dark and grotesque.

You lay on your stomach on the table, your breaths coming in shallow gasps as you braced yourself for what was to come. Your ass faced Dean, vulnerable and exposed, as he hovered over you.

With a chuckle, Dean reached for his jeans and boxers, pulling them down just enough to free his throbbing length.

"Oh, sweetheart, look at what you're missing out on", he taunted. "You used to beg for this, didn't you? Beg for me to fill you up until you couldn't take it anymore".

As Dean moved closer, his hands tracing the lines of your body, you felt a surge of panic rise within you. But even as you struggled against him, you knew that resistance was futile. He was too strong, too powerful, and you were helpless to stop him.

With a hard thrust, Dean tried to shove himself inside you, but your tightness proved too much for him to handle. The pain was excruciating, a searing agony that threatened to consume you from within.

"Fuck", Dean cursed, his voice strained with frustration as he tried to force himself deeper. "Why do you have to be so fucking tight?".

Tears welled in your eyes as the pain intensified.

"Looks like I'll have to make do," he sneered, his voice thick with contempt as he spat down on his cock. "All because of you, princess. Can't even get wet for me anymore".

Dean gripped your hips with a brutal force, before he thrust himself forward once more. The pain was unbearable, a searing agony that threatened to consume you from within.

"Please, Dean, stop", you pleaded, your voice raw with desperation. But he only laughed, the sound ringing in your ears like a mocking taunt.

"Stop?", he scoffed, his grip on your hips tightening even further. "Why would I stop when we're just getting started, sweetheart?".

Tears streamed down your cheeks, knowing that there was no escape.

With a grunt of effort, Dean pushed himself inside you with force.

You cried out, the sound muffled by the unforgiving surface of the table beneath you, as he filled you with a brutal intensity.

"Fuck", Dean groaned, his voice strained with exertion. "You're so fucking tight".

As Dean continued to thrust into you with a relentless determination, the agony intensified, threatening to overwhelm you completely.

Your body bore the marks of Dean's brutal assault, bruises already blossoming across your skin despite his relentless onslaught having barely begun. Each movement sent shockwaves of pain rippling through your broken form, the agony etched into every line and contour of your battered body.

Tears streamed down your cheeks, silent yet relentless, as you fought to endure the torment that Dean inflicted upon you.

With a cruel grip, Dean pressed your head tighter against the table, his hands exerting a crushing force that threatened to suffocate you. "You're not enjoying this as much as I am, huh?", he taunted.

And then, with a suddenness that left you reeling, he pulled out completely, leaving you gasping for air as he prepared to thrust into you once more. "Let's see how much you can take", he growled.

The table shuddered beneath you as Dean drove himself into you with a brutal force, each movement wracking your body with a searing agony that threatened to consume you whole. "You like that?", he sneered, his voice laced with amusement. "Or do I need to go harder?".

Your pleas for mercy fell on deaf ears as Dean continued his assault, his grip tightening in your hair, pulling your head up with a violent force. "Tell me how much you missed my big cock", he demanded, his voice a menacing growl as he forced you to look him in the eye.

You winced as your ribs cracked even further under the strain, the pain nearly unbearable as you struggled to form words through the agony. "Please", you gasped, tears streaming down your cheeks. "I can't...I can't do this anymore. Please, Dean, just stop".

But he only laughed, the sound sending a chill down your spine as he forced your head back down, his hands like vices around your hair. "Not good enough, sweetheart", he sneered, his voice dripping with contempt. "Tell me you missed it. Tell me you've been dreaming about it every night since I left".

You choked back a sob, the words catching in your throat as you fought to resist his demands. But with each tug of his hands, each crack of your already fractured ribs, the pain became too much to bear. "I missed it", you whispered, your voice barely audible over the sound of your own ragged breaths. "I missed you".

His smirk widened at your admission.

"That's right, sweetheart", he groaned. "You missed me, didn't you? Missed my big cock pounding into you, making you scream".

With each brutal thrust, your cries of pain mingled with his laughter, the sound a symphony of torment that echoed off the walls. "Look at you", he sneered, his hands gripping your hips with a punishing force. "Crying like a little bitch while I fuck you senseless. You love it, don't you? Love being my little whore".

Dean's voice dripped with satisfaction as he hovered over you. "You feel so fucking good", he purred, his words like venom as he surveyed your broken form. "None of those other bitches could compare to you. None of them had that perfect ass and tits. None of them were as tight as you".

You winced as the pain in your ribs intensified with every thrust, each movement sending shockwaves of agony coursing through your body. It felt like your lungs were being crushed, the pressure unbearable as you struggled to draw breath.

Your face was red and swollen from being shoved over the table, tears mingling with sweat as you fought to endure the torment.

With a cruel grip, Dean pulled you around, forcing you to sit on the edge of the table. Your body felt heavy and limp, your senses dulled by the relentless onslaught of pain. You barely registered his rough handling as he grabbed your jaw with a painful force, forcing you to look into his eyes.

"Look at me", he snarled as his eyes transformed into pools of endless blackness. "I want you to see exactly who's doing this to you".

You whimpered weakly, your gaze meeting his dark, soulless eyes as he pushed himself inside you once more. The pain was blinding, a searing fire that threatened to consume you whole, but you were too far gone to fight back. Each movement leaving you teetering on the edge of consciousness.

"You're pathetic", he scoffed. "All this pain, and you still can't look away. You really are mine, aren't you?".

Tears welled in your eyes as you struggled to stay upright, your body wracked with pain and exhaustion.

Dean's grip tightened around your neck, nearly choking you as he held you up to keep you from falling. Your vision blurred, the edges of consciousness slipping away as the pain and lack of oxygen overwhelmed you. Yet, you remained trapped in his grasp, unable to break free from his cruel hold.

"You're still in love with me, aren't you?", Dean sneered, his voice dripping with disdain as he mocked your lingering affection. " You actually think there's redemption for me. How sweet".

Your breath came in ragged gasps, each word he spoke a dagger in your heart. The weight of his words, combined with the physical agony, threatened to crush your soul entirely.

Dean chuckled darkly, his grip on your neck tightening even further. "I'm going to come inside you. Every last drop. So that even when I'm gone, you'll still have a piece of me to remember".

As Dean's lips crashed against yours with brutal force, you felt the sting of his bite on your lip, drawing blood as a surge of pain shot through you. With a loud groan, he released himself inside you, his body trembling with the force of his release.

Through the haze of pain and exhaustion, you felt another rib give way under the pressure, causing agony to lance through your already battered body. But you were trapped, unable to move or escape as Dean held you there to steady himself.

"You took me so well", Dean murmured, his voice thick with satisfaction as he kissed your forehead tenderly. "You always gonna be my favorite".

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as he finally released his grip on you, leaving you slumped against the table, broken and defeated. "I'll come back for you", he whispered, his voice filled with a promise of further torment to come.

Before he left, Dean turned back to you, his eyes cold and devoid of any trace of humanity.

"Stop trying to heal me", he commanded, his voice laced with a chilling finality. "I'm beyond saving".

His words hung in the air like a heavy weight, crushing your hopes and shattering your illusions of redemption. With a heavy heart, you watched as he disappeared into the darkness, leaving you alone with your pain and despair.

As Dean's words echoed in your mind, the world around you faded into darkness. The pain, both physical and emotional, overwhelmed your senses, pulling you into unconsciousness.

———————————

A/N: Please let me know what you think.🥰 I'm thinking about turning this into a multi-part Story. You up?

Part 2

#jensen ackles #spn #smut #dean winchester #supernatural #demon dean #demon dean x Reader #hurtful #rapekink #misogny #deanwinchtser #dean x you #dean x reader #dean winchester x y/n #dean x y/n

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k-slla · 7 months

Text

Hello, goodbye.

A/N: This is my second post for @jacklesversebingo / All mistakes are mine

Square filled: Break-Up

Warnings: Angst, mentions of alcohol, language, cheating, hurt, tiny bit of fluff/comfort

Word count: ~3.5k

My Masterlist

Staring at the bottom of your almost empty tea cup, you waited for Jensen to come home. You grabbed your phone again from the table to send him another text but ended up throwing it on the couch because your previous messages, sent yesterday around noon were left on read by him.

"Hey, babe! I know you're going to board the plane soon, but call me when you land. Miss you!❤️"

Few hours later followed by next one.

"Hey, you haven't called yet:( I know you should be home by now..I'll finish up work in a minute, see you soon!"

And before these were even more calls and messages. More "I miss you's", "Can't wait to see you's" & "Love you's". All went to voicemail or were just left on read. He's just busy, you had tried to reason this silence on his part so far. But when you got home yesterday evening, he was not there. Probably his flight got delayed or phone battery ran out you had thought but as the hours passed, you felt that it was something else. Never has he ignored you or been radio silent for this long. Another full day had passed, without him contacting you. And now you were getting more anxious by the minute. Jared should probably know where Jensen is, right? You wanted to call him but it was already past midnight so you settled on sending him a text. Maybe they went for a drinks and he forgot to tell you. Unlikely, but still a possibility.

You dragged yourself to the kitchen to make another tea, so you could try to get some sleep. While waiting for the kettle, you sent another text to him.

"Jensen, where are you? I'm worried. Call me."

You let out a frustrated sigh and cursed yourself for being such a nervous mess. You decided to ditch the tea and go straight to bed instead. You were certain that his flight was just delayed, which wouldn't exactly explain him ignoring your messages but you were probably just overthinking about everything as always.

You had no idea how long you had been asleep but when you woke up hearing the front door closing, light was dimly shining in through the blinds. Confused, you sat up in bed and looked for your phone. Almost 10am. Jared had sent two messages.

"Sorry, he's not with me:( trying to call now"

"Couldn't reach him, please let me know when he's home"

You could hear Jensen's heavy footsteps downstairs but decided to stay in bed. Mostly to see if he'd come upstairs to wake you. But he didn't, so you threw on a pair of fluffy slippers and a sweater and went downstairs. The smell of fresh coffee hit you as soon you opened the bedroom door.

You tried to stay mad at him longer, for making you worry but when you heard him humming in the kitchen, you couldn't help but smile at the sight of him. He sat at the island with his back towards you, so that gave you a perfect chance to sneak up on him. You hugged him from behind and he flinched.

"Jesus!" He quietly muttered under his breath. "Nope, just me. I missed you!" You whispered into his ear and kissed his stubbly cheek. "You scared me. I thought you were working today. Didn't see your car out." He sounded almost disappointed.

"Sorry." You smiled apologetically. " Didn't I told you that I'm taking the weekend off? We can spend it together before you have to go back." You turned around to pour yourself some coffee. "Did you your flight got delayed? I thought you were coming home on Thursday."

While you were searching for creamer from the fridge, you didn't notice Jensen tensing up at your question. You grabbed your cup and sat down across from him, looking at him questionably.

"No, it's just- I-" he started evasively. " I just needed some time alone." You stared at him in disbelief. "What?" You asked laughing half-heartedly. "Jensen, we haven't seen each other for two months and you needed more time alone?"

"Did I do or say something?" You asked after a minute of trying to process what he told you. "You've been almost completely ignoring me for the past weeks. Actually it seems like few months even. I feel like-" You reached for his hand across the table but he pulled back. "I feel like I'm losing you." He took a deep breath in and leaned back in his chair. "I thought- hoped actually- that you were working today, so I could figure it out how to tell you." Your breathing quickened. "Tell me what?"

Jensen looked straight into your eyes. "I'm going to file for a divorce." The coldness in his gaze and tone cut deep. You got confused for a second and squared you shoulders, forcing back tears, that were threatening to spill. You did not expect that. "But what- I mean why? Because I started talking more about having kids?" You had hoped the timing was right for the two of you to start trying at least. You had been together for over five years, married close to two now. Of course you wanted to have kids with him one day.

"I wanted to start family too but- " he stopped, looking for the right words. "I guess people change."

You scoffed. People change. People do change, but it doesn't happen almost overnight like this.

Your thoughts started to run now in one direction only. You were kicking and cursing yourself internally for allowing you even think this. "Is there someone else?" You asked, not really wanting to know the answer. Jensen's face turned stoic. "Does it matter? It's not gonna change anything." He shrugged. Anger was already slowly boiling inside you and that was the last straw.

"Of course it fucking matters, Jensen! If you're cheating on me, the least you could do is to man up and tell the truth." You snapped poisonously, got up from the chair and turned around to leave the kitchen.

"Fuck me." He muttered quietly and called after you bit louder. "Okay. Yes, I cheated on you. There. Do you feel better now?" He asked, sarcasm in his voice unmissable.

You immediately felt sick to your stomach. You turned around to face him again. "Do I feel better? Are you serious?" You were truly astounded and didn't even know how to react to his confession. You couldn't stay there anymore. You walked out of the room and tears finally broke loose. Jensen got up from his chair to follow.

"No! Just leave me alone. Please. I can't do this right now. I'll get out of here and-" you let out a sharp breath "-go to, I don't know, to Elaine's or something. "

"Of course.." he whispered. "Y/N, come on. Don't act like you're without blame here. You-" You cut into his sentence.

"How could you even say that? What did I do for you to go and cheat on me?" You hissed back at him and entered your bedroom. Jensen followed and sat on the bed, as he stared after you walking into the closet and pulling out a suitcase. "I'm sorry, Y/N. Please. Come sit down." You ignored him and started to pack your clothes. "I'll get rest of my stuff next week." You sniffled. "When you're back at work or something."

You folded your clothes sloppily and refused to look at him when he joined you in there. This was not the weekend you had imagined when he said he'll be coming back home. You were excited to finally see him again and just be together and do nothing. You had missed your husband for a long time. Apparently, he did not miss you. You quickly wiped the tears away, when Jensen came to stand behind you and put his hands on your shoulders to turn you around. "Please, Y/N. I want to talk about this. To explain."

Trying to calm yourself down, you looked straight into his eyes. "Okay. Talk."

"No. Come sit down." He nodded to the bed. He tried to guide you towards the bed but you shrugged off his hand and sat down on the bed. Leaning against the headboard, you pulled your knees to your chest. Two of you sat there for few minutes before Jensen started talking. "I really don't know how else to say it. And I don't expect you to believe but I didn't mean to hurt you this way. I'm sorry." His voice was quiet.

"I'm sorry I was such an asshole before. You just caught me off guard and I didn't know how to react."

You still couldn't wrap your mind around it. What went wrong with the two of you? "You're right. I don't believe you. You do not sleep with someone by accident. I'd try to understand- "

"Y/N, I-" You raised one hand to stop him. "No, Jensen, let me talk please. I'd try to understand you if it was just about having kids. I'd try to somehow accept it. But cheating? This was something you chose to do. And this probably wasn't a one time thing either, right?" His silence gave you the answer to your question. You nodded knowingly. "That's what I thought. You did this over and over. While I waited for you at home. Alone. Do you really think your apology will make me feel better?" You took a deep breath, silent tears were rolling down your cheeks again. Last few months had been especially hard without him. Work had gotten crazy with your boss demanding more and more from you. Yes, you had your friends and sister you kept in contact with regularly, but still at nights you felt alone.

"Is that why you're leaving me? To move on with someone new?" You noticed Jensen tearing up. But still he didn't answer. "Jensen, please. Why can't you just tell me?" He said nothing so you got back up to finish packing. You didn't see the need to sit there and wait for him to answer. "Fine. You say you want to talk, but still won't talk to me, so I'll just go." You threw few more items from the closet into the suitcase and closed it up.

"Y/N, this is your home. You don't have to leave." He finally spoke up. "Well, I can't stay here either." You walked to the bathroom to pack some toiletries. This time Jensen didn't follow you. You closed the door and sat down on the floor. You felt a pressuring pain on the back of your head, but tried to think through it, to figure out your next steps. Of course you didn't want to actually leave, but staying in the house you and Jensen worked hard on to turn into home, would've been even harder. So you chose the easier of the two.

With a deep breath, you pulled out your phone and dialed your sister's number. She has always been very protective over you, so you knew, if you'd tell her about Jensen on the phone, she'd be over in a heartbeat to kick his ass. And he wasn't worth troubling her that much. "Hey, El. Are you busy this weekend?" You tried to sound cheerful, but you couldn't even convince yourself so she'd definitely see through it. "Hey! Not too busy. Why?" She sounded worried already. "I got an awesome idea, involving you, me, bottle of rosé and probably us passing out on your couch. How's that sound?"

She laughed at your proposal. "Definitely have time for that! What's up? Boy troubles?" You sighed and tried to compose yourself. "You could say that." She groaned loudly.

For some reason Jensen and Elaine always had some kind of beef between them. They managed to remain somewhat civil around you but when you were alone with either of them, they just couldn't hold back on straight on bitching about the other. Which was the main cause of your headaches for the past years and made the family gatherings rather uncomfortable. Well, two less things for you to worry about now.

"Do I have come over and kick his ass? Because you know I would." She said this jokingly, but you knew that there was some truth hidden there. "No! I'll be over soon. See you!"

"Oh, he really messed up this time, huh?" She asked and followed it up quickly. "Well, bring snacks then!" There was a short pause on the line. "And more wine. Maybe some cake? I'll do the counseling, I think I'll deserve some afterwards."

"Of course. Thank you. Alright, see you soon." You said quietly.

You ended the call and reality pulled you back in. Talking with Elaine always calmed you down. Made you forget your problems, even if just for a moment. You sighed deeply and got up to now actually pack up some necessities.

Few minutes later you stood at the bathroom door, staring at Jensen, sitting on the bed, head down in his hands. You wanted nothing more right now than to just get out of the house. But there was still one question that needed to be answered. You sat down next to him and took one of his hand into yours. "Please look at me." You turned his face gently towards you.

You wanted to stay mad at him.

Scream at him.

Punch him for hurting you this way.

But looking at him, you just couldn't. "It'd be probably better for me not to ask but I need to know this, Jensen. How long were you having the affair for, before you told me?" You looked into his eyes and waited for the band-aid to be ripped. But nothing could've prepared you for this.

"I'm really really sorry, Y/N. I realize that it doesn't have any worth to you anymore but still I hope you know that I am." He said turning his body towards you. You remained silent and waited for him to continue. "But I- it started just after New Years." You pulled away your hands. You knew you should've let it go. "So almost for a year you came home to me like nothing was wrong?" You asked shakily and let out a sharp breath. Your ears started ringing. He really is an amazing actor, you thought to yourself.

You didn't know whether to cry or be relieved that the truth was out. Now there was nothing holding you back from leaving. You stood up and so was up again the wall around you. The wall that took Jensen forever to break down in the first place. "Ahem, so, uh-" you had trouble finding the words. "I think I've heard what I needed to- you know..move on, I guess." A forced smile grew on your face that didn't reach your eyes. "You can send whatever the papers you need me to sign to my workplace." You took your things and walked out of the room.

Looking around in the living room, you realized how much you're actually going to miss this house. All the memories of the late night trips to the hardware stores during fixing up the house came back to you. You were definitely more of a distraction than help for Jensen at that time. But the arguments over the tone of the flooring and style of the kitchen cabinets resulted usually in hot make up sex in the shower. Which you felt was really your only purpose of picking those fights with him. These memories brought a sad smile onto your lips. Now you refused to call this home, because your home was Jensen. And you didn't have him anymore.

"Are you sure you're not staying here? I'm leaving in two days. You can have the house." He had followed you so quietly, you almost didn't notice him standing behind you.

"No, the house is not what I want." You laughed unhumorously and turned around to face him. Jensen pulled you into a tight hug and just held you close. And you let him do just that.

Everything still seemed as you were in a bad dream. All you wished right now was to wake up. But there was nothing to wake up from. As the realization dawned on you, you almost broke down again. Pushing your face into his chest, you desperately tried to hold yourself together. Leaving him is be the hardest thing you've had to do.

Focus, Y/N, you can cry when you're out of here, you tried to talk yourself down. Put on a brave face in front him, so he wouldn't see how broken you actually are.

"I'm sorry." He whispered and kissed the top of your head.

You took a deep breath and looked up at him. "Yeah, I'm sorry, too." After giving him a last hug, you pulled away from him. "I want to hate you right now, Jensen. So much." You laughed lightly through your words. "But I don't think I'll be able to, not before I stop loving you." He gave you a sympathetic look, and you saw that he was hurting too. You stroked his cheek gently. "And I will always love you." You stood up on your toes and pressed a kiss on his lips for the last time. With a heavy sigh you turned away to grab your purse, coat and car keys. "I want the best for you. Truly." You said standing on the door. With a one last look at him, you smiled and stepped out of the house.

Before going to Elaine's, you did a quick stop at a grocery store. Today you felt like not giving a damn, you will get drunk with your sister this afternoon. You picked up more wine and sweet and savory snacks, cake and some fruit. Definitely too much food for the two of you.

"Someone's having a party, huh?" Cashier asked you with a smile on her face.

"Oh, yeah, mhmm, big party tonight."

After packing up your groceries, you dialed El's number again.

"Hey, just got out of store. Be there in 10."

"Alrighty, should I find some glasses for us?" What a dumb question.

"Don't ask stupid questions and come outside to help me with things."

Little while later, two of you were sitting on the couch. "So. Talk to me, Y/N." She snuggled in closer to you. You swirled wine around in the glass and stared into nothing. "Jensen and I are divorcing." You didn't want to look at her and she waited silently for you to continue. "But hey- it's a well known fact that half of marriages end in divorce so-" You tried to lighten your mood but failed miserably at that. "I guess we were just on the wrong side of that equation."

She took the wine glass from you and put both on the table.

"Come here, sweetie." She pulled you into tight embrace as both of you laid on the couch. "I know that's yet another stupid question from me but how are you feeling? Honest answers only."

"Hurt. Disappointed. Sad. I just want to be angry with him, but I can't." You sat up. "He- he found someone new, you know? Well.. He didn't exactly say that but I guess so." Elaine huffed angrily. "He cheated on you?" You nodded silently and topped up your glasses. You could only imagine what was going through her head in that moment. Certainly she'd want to say "I told you so". You waited for any kind of reaction from her, so you sat there in a silence for a while, until she spoke again. "That lying piece of sh-" You interrupted your sisters swearing. "Stop. No, he's really not that." You said smiling sorrowfully.

"Why are you so calm about this? I'd be livid right now. Hell, I am! He betrayed you."

"If he feels like he's happier with someone other than me, then I won't stand in his way." You said quietly. "It hurts like hell, but I won't be some petty ass bitch to him because of that. I just don't have it in me." She laughed at you. "Yeah, you don't. I'd probably be keying his car right now."

You sighed, feeling the light buzz from the wine starting to take over you. "I thought getting drunk with you would make me feel better but what I really want right now, is to sleep. For a week at least. I just can't think of anything else right now."

She got up from the couch, reaching her hand out to you. "Come."

"What? Where?" Your brows furrowed in confusion, but nonetheless you got up.

"You want to sleep, so let's go to sleep." Elaine said so matter-of-factly.

"But didn't you have any plans today?" She pulled you into a tight hug. "Yeah, I did, but you are more important."

Read part 2 here!

Taglist is always open / Send me a DM if you wish to be added/removed :)

@jackles010378 @cevansbaby-dove @deanwinchestersgirl87 @alternativeprincess94

#jacklesversebingo23 #jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen x reader #jensen x you #jensen x y/n #angst #fluffy #fluff #hurt/comfort #jensen ackles #spn cast #supernatural cast

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cheynovak · 15 days

Text

Sugar - Part 7 The final chapter

Soldier boy x F/ reader (Y/N)

Warnings: 18+, sex, age difference, anger, hurst, angst, happy ending...

Side note: English isn’t my first language.

*Does not follow The Boys storyline *

Y/N is a college student who pays her apartment, bills and school tuition with the money she makes as ‘sugar baby’ for Soldier boy. What started as just being a companion on lonely moments became quickly more physical. But how will Y/N cope with the dominant side of Ben when he finds out she has a life beside pleasuring him?

Ben watched the door close in his face, rain started pouring down on him, the finality of Y/N's words echoing in his mind.

He had lost her, and the weight of that realization crushed him. He stood there for a long time, unable to move, his heart aching with regret and sorrow. Eventually, he turned away.

The next few weeks blurred together in a haze of pain and self-destruction. Ben couldn't bear the emptiness that Y/N's absence left in his life, and he turned to anything that might dull the ache. He started drinking even more heavily, spending his nights in bars, downing shot after shot in an attempt to forget his pain.

But alcohol wasn't enough to drown out the memories of her smile, her laughter, the warmth of her touch. Desperate for a deeper escape. It started with adding an extra few lines of cocaine, then escalated to pills and other substances. The highs were fleeting, but for a brief moment, they allowed him to escape the torment of his own thoughts.

His downward spiral continued to deepen as he sought solace in the arms of other women. He frequented seedy motels and cheap escorts, trying to fill the void that Y/N had left. But no amount of meaningless sex could replace what he had lost, and each morning he woke up feeling even more hollow and broken than before.

One night, as Ben stumbled out of yet another bar, high and barely coherent, he pulled out his phone and dialled the number of the only person he could think of. It rang a few times before a groggy voice answered. "What the hell, man? It's 3 AM."

The next morning, Ben woke up on Legend's couch, feeling the effects of his latest binge. His head pounded, and his body ached, but the worst pain was the emotional one. Legend sat nearby, watching him with a mix of concern and anger.

"You look like hell," Legend said bluntly. "How much did you take? No fuck that, what did you do?"

Ben took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. "I messed up, Legend. I lost her. Legend sighed, shaking his head. " You need to get your shit together. She is just a girl, you’ll find another one.”

Ben didn’t even listen, drowning in self-pity.

One evening, Ben found himself back at Legend's place, as they sat in the dimly lit living room, the atmosphere felt heavy with unspoken tension. "So, what's next for you, man?" Legend asked, taking a swig of his whiskey.

Ben hesitated, then said, "I’m going to try and talk to Y/N. Apologize. Try to make things right."

Legend scoffed, shaking his head. "Forget about her, Ben. She's just another girl, a pussy to fuck. You don't need to go chasing after some chick who can't handle you. "Ben's expression darkened, his jaw clenching. "She's not just another girl.”

Legend rolled his eyes. "Seriously, man? Get over it. There are plenty of girls out there. You can find another one to screw."

The crude dismissal of Y/N as nothing more than a sexual object snapped something inside Ben. Before he knew it, he was on his feet, grabbing Legend by the collar and slamming him against the wall. His hand clamped around Legend's neck, his grip tight and unyielding.

"Don't you ever talk about her like that," Ben growled, his voice low and dangerous. "She's more than that. She's worth more than.”

Legend's eyes widened with shock and fear. He struggled to breathe, his hands clawing at Ben's arm. "Ben... let go..." Ben's eyes blazed with fury, but after a few tense seconds, he released his hold and stepped back, his chest heaving with anger. Legend crumpled to the floor, gasping for air.

"What's wrong with you, man?" Legend sputtered, rubbing his neck. "You need to calm the hell down."

Ben glared at him. "I won't let anyone talk about her like that. Not even you." Legend looked up at him, still shaken. "I... I didn’t mean anything by it. I was just trying to help you move on." Ben shook his head leaving his penthouse.

Legend was nursing his bruised ego and neck. He couldn't shake the confrontation from his mind. He knew Ben was serious about Y/N, but he still thought it was all unnecessary drama. Deciding to take matters into his own hands before Ben would do stupid things he couldn’t fix, he picked up his phone and dialled Y/N's number.

"Hello?" Y/N's voice came through, cautious and guarded.

"Y/N, it's The Legend," he said, his tone attempting to sound friendly. "I think we need to talk. It's about Ben."

"What about him?" she asked, suspicion clear in her voice.

"Look, he’s been going through a rough time, and I know he wants to make things right with you. He just left my place.”

“Did he made you call me?” He heard how displeased she was.

“No, no he doesn’t know I was calling you, but he really cares about you. Can you please give him a chance?"

Y/N sighed. "Legend, I appreciate the concern. But this isn't something you can fix with a phone call."

"I get that," Legend replied, "He's trying... to be better. Just... hear him out, okay?"

There was a long pause before Y/N responded. "I'll think about it. But Legend, this is between Ben and me. Please stay out of it."

"Understood," he said, ending the call.

A few days later.

Ben found himself alone in his apartment, as he sat on the couch, lost in thought, a knock at the door pulled him from his thoughts. He wasn't expecting anyone, and a flicker of anxiety ran through him as he approached the door. When he opened it, his heart skipped a beat.

Y/N stood there, looking determined yet slightly apprehensive. Ben blinked, unable to hide his surprise. "Y/N? What are you doing here?"

"I'm ready to talk," she said simply, her voice steady. Ben stepped aside to let her in, his mind racing. She entered the apartment, taking a moment to look around before settling on the edge of the couch. Ben joined her, keeping a respectful distance.

"I wasn't sure I would see you anymore," he admitted, his voice low. "I wasn't sure either," Y/N replied, her gaze meeting his. Ben nodded, his heart pounding while they sat down on the couch again.

She took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts. "I need to understand why things went the way they did. Why you pushed me away, why you hurt me?”

Ben ran a hand through his hair, feeling the weight of her words. "I was scared," he finally confessed. “Why?” she asked, she saw how difficult it was for him to answer. “I think I deserve this, Ben.”

"I was terrified of not being enough for you, of not living up to your expectations. So I pushed you away before you could see how flawed I am.” Y/N listened, her expression softening slightly. "Ben, I never expected you to be perfect. I know your flaws.”

As they sat in a moment of comfortable silence, Ben's curiosity got the better of him. He wanted to know how Y/N was really doing, beyond their complicated relationship. "How's school going?" he asked gently, hoping to steer the conversation into safer territory.

Y/N's expression immediately shifted, her eyes welling up with tears. She looked down at her hands, trying to compose herself. "It's been... hard," she admitted, her voice trembling. "Ever since our fight, people have been treating me differently. They make jokes, call me names... they treat me like a whore."

Ben's heart sank, guilt crashing over him like a tidal wave. "Y/N, I'm so sorry. I had no idea... I never meant for any of this to happen." She wiped at her eyes, trying to hold back the tears.

She looked at him, her eyes filled with a mixture of sadness and vulnerability. "Ben, I don't blame you, not entirely... We both made mistakes. But it hurts, and... I don't know how to make it stop." Her tears started to stream down her cheeks.

Ben reached out, taking her hand in his. Wanting nothing more than to pull her close to him, comforting her.

Y/N looked up, meeting Ben's gaze, and saw something soft and tender in his eyes. The vulnerability and care reflecting, it made her heart ache with a confusing mix of emotions. She couldn't hold his gaze for long, feeling overwhelmed by the depth of his expression.

His hand, warm and firm, enveloped hers, offering both comfort and connection. The weight of the world seemed to lighten just a bit with his touch. Ben's green eyes remained gentle, filled with an unspoken promise of support and understanding. It was a look she hadn't seen in a long time, one that made her feel safe and cherished despite everything.

But also, one he would hide away every change he had, but not today, no it seemed like he was purposely showing her the man behind the armour.

Without thinking, Y/N leaned in, resting her head against his shoulder, in the crook of his neck. She closed her eyes, breathing in his familiar scent, woodsy, but clean, a fragrance that had always brought her a sense of peace.

Ben's arm instinctively wrapped around her, holding her close. The gesture was tender, protective, and Y/N felt a sense of calm wash over her. For a moment, all the hurt and chaos of the past weeks faded away, leaving just the two of them in their little bubble of comfort.

And then for the first time in his life Ben said, "I'm so sorry for everything, Y/N," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "I wish I could take back all the pain I've caused you." She nuzzled deeper into his neck, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breath.

He tightened his hold on her, his heart swelling with a mix of hope and regret. "I promise I'll do better.”

After what felt like an eternity, Ben gently kissed the top of Y/N's hair. The simple gesture sent a rush through her veins, igniting a spark that had been dimmed by their past pain. She could feel his breath against her scalp, warm and steady, grounding her in the present moment.

Without thinking, her lips moved over the vein on his neck, not quite kissing but caressing his skin with soft, delicate brushes. She could feel his pulse quicken beneath her touch, a subtle thrum that mirrored the rising tempo of her own heartbeat. His breath hitched, and she felt the slight tremor in his body, a mixture of anticipation and restraint.

His hand moving to cradle the back of her head, fingers tangling in her hair. He was torn between the urge to pull her closer and the need to respect her boundaries, uncertain of how far she wanted to go. The intimate connection between them was both exhilarating and fragile, a delicate balance of longing and hesitation.

"Y/N," he whispered, his voice barely audible, filled with a blend of desire and caution. "You don't have to..." But she interrupted softly, lifting her head to meet his gaze. Her eyes were dark with emotion. "I want to, but I need to know we're on the same page, Ben. That this isn't just a moment."

“Tell me it’s not just physical.” she pleads.

Ben cupped her face gently, his thumb brushing across her cheek. "It’s not just a moment," he assured her, his voice steady and sincere. "I want you, Y/N. Not just physical.”

Her heart swelled at his words, the sincerity in his eyes melting away the last remnants of doubt. She leaned in closer, her lips brushing against his in a tentative, tender kiss. Ben responded with equal tenderness, deepening the kiss with a careful intensity that spoke volumes. His hands moved to her waist, pulling her closer as if afraid she might slip away.

Y/N's hands moved to the back of his neck, fingers threading through his hair. The simple, intimate contact sent shivers down both their spines. Their breaths mingled, creating an electric atmosphere between them. Tongues asking permission to tango.

Feeling a surge of need and urgency, Ben gently pulled her onto his lap. Y/N straddled him, her legs resting on either side of his hips. The closeness intensified the heat rushing between them, a connection they'd been craving for so long.

His hands roamed from her thighs up to her back, drawing her even closer, while her fingers played with the strands of his hair, earning a soft groan from him.

Their eyes locked, communicating a myriad of emotions without words. The world outside ceased to exist as they lost themselves in each other's presence. Ben leaned in, Y/N responded eagerly, deepening the kiss as her hands slid down to his shoulders, feeling the strength beneath his shirt.

Ben's hands moved from her back to her hips, gripping them firmly but gently, guiding her movements as she felt his bulge growing underneath the fabric of his pants. The sensation of her warmth against him was intoxicating, driving him to explore further.

He broke the kiss momentarily, trailing soft kisses along her jawline and down her neck, unable for her to keep a soft moan from escaping her lips.

Her heart raced as she felt his lips on her skin, every touch sending a jolt of electricity through her body. She tilted her head back, giving him better access as she revelled in the sensation. The way he held her, the way he kissed her, everything felt right, as if they were finally aligning after being out of sync for so long.

Y/N's hands roamed over his shoulders and down his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart beneath her palm. "Ben," she breathed, her voice a mix of desire and vulnerability. As their passion intensified, Ben's hands trailed down to her ass, leaving a trail of fire along her skin.

With each caress, she felt herself unravelling, the tension and pain of the past weeks melting away in the heat of their desire. She let out a soft sigh as his fingers found the hem of her shirt, inching it upwards with a tantalizing slowness.

Her own hands eagerly exploring the expanse of Ben's chest, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath her fingertips. His muscles tensed and relaxed under her touch, a silent invitation for her to continue. With a shaky breath, she began to unbutton his shirt, revealing the strong lines of his torso inch by inch.

Their kisses grew more fervent, hungry and desperate, as if trying to convey the depth of their longing through touch alone. Ben's hands roamed lower, tracing the curves of Y/N's body with an almost reverent touch. She gasped as his fingers brushed against her clothes core.

With a silent understanding, they shed their remaining clothing, each piece a barrier to the intimacy they craved. In the dim light of the room, they stood before him, vulnerable yet unashamed.

Y/N found herself on her knees between Ben's legs. Their gazes locked, filled with a raw desire that spoke volumes without a single word. In this intimate moment, they were lost in each other's eyes, the world around them fading.

She gently tugged his pants and boxers down, freeing him. pressing her lips against the sensitive skin of his hip. Ben's breath caught in his throat as he felt the warmth of her mouth against his skin, sending a jolt of pleasure straight to his core.

He watched with a mix of anticipation and longing as she moved closer, her lips trailing a path of fire along his thigh, inching ever closer to her destination. When she finally reached him, she hesitated for a moment, her eyes searching his for reassurance.

Finding nothing but desire and trust reflected back at her. Ben's sharp intake of breath filled the room as she took him in her hand, her fingers wrapping around his length. She began with soft, slow strokes, feeling him harden even more in her grip.

The warmth of his skin, the weight of him in her hand, all sent shivers of excitement through her. Leaning forward, she placed a soft kiss on the tip before parting her lips and taking him into her mouth.

She moved slowly at first, letting her tongue swirl around the head, the taste of him alone made her moan. Ben groaned, his hand coming to rest on her head, his fingers tangling gently in her hair.

Y/N worked him with a combination of skill and desperation, needing to hear more of his words, to feel his approval. That's it, baby," he murmured, "You're so good at this," he groaned, his voice rough with arousal.

"So perfect. My perfect girl." His words spurred her on, her pace quickening as she took him deeper. Ben's breaths grew ragged, his hips thrusting gently in time with her movements. "That's it, sugar," he murmured, his voice dripping with praise.

"Just like that." Encouraged by his response, Y/N took him deeper, hollowing her cheeks as she moved her mouth up and down his shaft. She used one hand to stroke the base, while the other hand rested on his thigh for balance.

Her movements were steady and deliberate, her eyes flicking up to meet his every so often, drinking in the sight of his pleasure. Y/N adjusted her angle, taking him even deeper into her throat. She could feel every ridge and vein of him against her tongue, and the sensation made her own arousal build.

She bobbed her head, her rhythm steady and unrelenting, her hand moving in sync with her mouth. The sensation was exquisite, sending a surge of pleasure coursing through Ben's veins. He let out a low groan, his hands tangling in her hair as he surrendered to the overwhelming waves of sensation crashing over him.

Her touch was gentle yet firm, her lips and tongue working in perfect harmony to drive him to the brink of ecstasy and back.

She could feel him holding back, trying not to push her head down. But the loved the way he reacted, how she felt his grip in her hair tighten, how his hips sporadically bucked up. And the way he praised her... made her moan.

“Oh, that’s it, sugar... fuck.”

As Y/N continued to pleasure him, Ben's breathing grew more erratic, and she could tell he was close. Suddenly, he pulled her away, stopping her just before he could come. She looked up at him, confusion and desire mingling in her eyes. Without a word, Ben lifted her from her knees, pulling her onto his lap so that she straddled him.

He leaned in, capturing her lips in a deep kiss. His tongue swept into her mouth, claiming her with a possessive hunger that made her moan softly against his lips. As they kissed, his hand moved between her thighs, slipping under the fabric of her panties.

His fingers found her slick with arousal, and he let out a groan of appreciation. "You're so wet," he murmured against her lips, his voice husky with desire. "All for me." His fingers slid through her folds, teasing her entrance before circling her clit with gentle, deliberate strokes.

Y/N gasped, her hips rocking against his hand, seeking more of his touch. Her need for him was overwhelming, every nerve in her body alight with longing. "Ben," she breathed, her voice trembling with need.

"Please..." He grinned, a predatory glint in his eyes as he watched her writhe above him. "Patience, sugar," he said, his fingers continuing their tormenting dance. "I want to feel you come undone for me."

Her hands clutched at his shoulders, her nails digging into his skin as she fought to stay upright. Ben's other hand slid up her back, pulling her closer as he kissed her breasts. Ben added another finger, increasing the intensity. He alternated between gentle caresses and firmer, more insistent movements, keeping her on the edge but never quite allowing her to tip over into climax.

Ben's fingers worked her expertly, curling slightly to find that perfect spot inside her. The sensation was electric, and Y/N felt herself teetering on the edge of an overwhelming orgasm. "Ben, I'm so close," she whimpered, her voice a mix of desperation and desire.

"Come for me sugar." With a final, confident movement, he pressed his fingers deeper, his thumb circling her clit. The pressure built to an unbearable peak, and with one last thrust and swirl of his fingers, he sent her over the edge. Her body convulsed in his arms, waves of pleasure crashing through her as she cried out his name.

Throughout her climax, Ben's fingers continued their ministrations, drawing out every last shudder of pleasure until she was left trembling and breathless in his arms. As her trembling subsided, he gently guided her hips, aligning himself with her entrance.

He looked into her eyes, his gaze filled with a mix of desire and tenderness. "Are you ready?" he asked, his voice soft and intimate. Y/N nodded, her breath still coming in heavy pants. "Yes," she whispered, her eyes locked onto his.

Slowly, he entered her, filling her completely. She gasped at the sensation, her body adjusting. Ben's hands moved to her hips, guiding her movements as she began to ride him. The slow, sensual rhythm they found together was both intoxicating and deeply satisfying. His eyes darkened with renewed desire, and his grip on her hips tightened.

He began to guide her movements with more force, his fingers digging into her skin in a way that sent delicious shivers down her spine. "That's my girl," he growled, his voice a rough whisper. "I need you to ride me harder, sugar."

With his guidance, Y/N started to move with more urgency, her hips rocking back and forth with a rhythm that matched his rising intensity. Ben's hands moved to her waist, his fingers pressing into her flesh as he pulled her down onto him with each thrust, driving himself deeper inside her.

The sensation was overwhelming, a perfect blend of roughness and tenderness that made her head spin. "Just like that," he praised, his voice thick with pleasure. "You're doing so good, baby. Don't stop." He thrust up into her, meeting her movements with a force that made her gasp.

Each collision of their bodies sent waves of pleasure radiating through her, the friction and heat building to an almost unbearable intensity. Ben's eyes never left hers, mesmerized by the look of her.

You're so tight," he groaned, his grip on her waist tightening even further. "I can't get enough of you." His words spurred her on, her movements growing more frantic as she rode him. She could feel another orgasm building, the pressure inside her mounting with each hard, deep thrust.

Ben's hands roamed over her body, one moving up to cup her breast, his thumb brushing over her nipple in a way that made her cry out. He leaned forward, capturing her lips in a bruising kiss, his tongue demanding and insistent. The kiss was a perfect mirror of their physical connection intense, consuming, and utterly passionate.

"Come for me again," he commanded, his voice a low, urgent growl. "I want to feel you come around me." Y/N's body obeyed before her mind could catch up, the combination of his rough thrusts and his commanding word.

They stayed locked together, their bodies trembling with the aftershocks of their shared pleasure. Ben's grip on her softened, his hands moving to gently stroke her back as they caught their breath. He looked up at her. “If I had known that this was the way to make it up to you. I wouldn’t have waited so long.”

Y/N smiled weakly, her heart full and her body spent. She leaned down to kiss him softly, their connection feeling stronger than ever. “Ben I...” she said still out of breath but his kiss interrupted her.

Ben looked in her eyes, seeing the hope shimmering. Seeing his future before him. His hand caressed her cheek, eyes tracing her face, ready to tell her the one thing he was scared of, for so long.

And then he finally whispered: “I love you.”

Let me know what you think, feel free to like, share or comment. Make sure you check out my masterlist.

Tag list: -> If you want to be added just let me know what you like to read.

@syrma-sensei @suckitands33 @mostlymarvelgirl @globetrotter28 @jackles010378 @hobby27 @call-me-mrs-winchester @yvonneeeee

#sugar series #fanfic #jensen ackles #x reader #jensen fucking ackles #soldier boy #the boys #jensen ackles soldier boy #soldier boy x you #soldier boy x reader #soldier boy fanfiction #light angst #hurt/comfort #smut #fluff #angst with a happy ending #happy ending

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cevansbaby-dove · 17 days

Text

Rumor Going Around 5

pairing:Jensen Ackles X Reader.

Warnings: Smut but some hurt too.

it's been a week and you were now coming out to the fans about you and Jensen. You wanted to talk to him about this but each time you texted or called he wouldn't answer or even see you texts.

You were standing at a con and having fun when someone asked you about Jensen and you.

You say. "My name is y/n and yes it's true, Jensen Ackles and I have had a three month long affair. But I have broke it off with him and I only ask for you his fans to let him be, please don't send hate to him, he and I have talked and broke it off for good. His wife is who he should be with..not me"

You keep going. "Jensen and I got close on set of supernatural over months, we both felt bad about how far we had let it go and I blame myself for letting it get this far...."

Jensen stay in his office hearing you blame yourself for this, he knew it was him who made the first move and Danneel walks in. "Is it true?" He looks up at her. "yes baby but it's over ok? I am with my wife..you..I promise it's over'

She nods. "right to think she was nice to me when she was just using me to be with you" She scoffs and jensen says. "Danneel! that's enough ok!? I care about her"

"Oh you sure fucking care about her Jay! fucking her during cons?! my god why didn't I see it!?"

jensen stands up. "I will not stand for this!" he was so mad he could have thrown his desk over but he just looks at his wife.

"My god Jay I am carrying your child...unless she is carrying yours too!"

"Fuck no! We used protection! Why the fuck would you dare say that about us!? For fucks sake dee I said sorry!" he storms out of his office then grabs his car keys and leaves he didn't know where to go but your place.

You came back home after speaking about two hours later and you see jensen's car and say. "no Jensen god no!"You walk to your house and see Jensen sitting on your porch. "Hey" You look at him. "why are you here?"

He stands up and walks to you. "Dee and I had a fight and..I didn't know where to go but your place. Your my calm when I need it'

You unlocked the front door. "I told everyone about us I thought you'd be mad at me' you walked into your house then he follows. "She's pissed y/n i'm sorry"

You sigh and turn to him. "And you? how do you feel about this?" "how do you think y/n!? I begged you not to do this yet there you went not heeding my warnings of you telling the fans about this!"

You bite your lip seeing him mad was kind of hot. "Will you shut up please!?" You crash your lips on his and he is shocked but then wraps his arms around you and you pull away and say. "I'm sorry Jay but you mad is such a turn on"

Jensen smiles. "Is that so babygirl?"

You smirk. "It's still wrong" You let your hands drop and he frowns. "then why do we even try to stop it? Fuck I don't believe in a God but Maybe Fate is what is keeping this going it's like we have a rope tied to our hearts and it pulls on our hearts"

You rub your arms. "Maybe but your-"

He says. "Y/n I know i'm married...I get it..." You walk around. "Yeah you are married.."

You sat down in a chair and Jensen kneels in front of you. "Y/n I might be married but I still love-"

You say. "No Jensen please don't say this not when I said to the fans I was being honest and I don't need this not anymore..please go back to Dee"

He felt his heart break in two with your words. "Fine" he stands up and walks out leaving you there in the living room feeling sad for what you did.

over the next few days Jensen talked to Danneel about what you came out about and she was forgiving him over and over. You were in Paris when a fan comes up to you.

"are you and Jensen seeing each other still? I think you guys made a better couple then him and his wife"

You shook your head. "please be kind to them, I spoke out about it because I needed too" She nods. "Sure thing y/n have a good day"

You smiled as you walked into the hotel just to see Jared standing there. "You and Jay!?? Fuck I didn't think about it!"

You grab his arm and walk around something and say. "keep your voice down will you!? My god"

Jared crosses his arms. "when did it start?" You sigh. "a while ago ok? it's over I told Jay it was over and he's ok with it too"

"is he?" Jared asked.

"Jared!" He says. "he's lost his spark in his eyes after you told everyone about you two...he's hurt he's barely on set most days now and well...he's always on edge"

"What!? on edge?! come on Jared talk English to me!"

"he's not happy with dee! he's talking about leaving her before he found out about their baby now...he has to stay"

"he's happy from what I have seen"

"he's an actor Y/n! trust me i'm his best friend, I know him better than anyone..even Dee" You nodded hearing jared's words. "Ok if he shows up then i'll talk to him...was Dee joining him?"

"no thank God, she can be very controlling when he's at cons" You place your hand on his shoulder. "thanks for letting me know"

You two walk to the front desk and Check in for the con. it was going to be a long weekend.

A/n: oh it's about to go down! And I am very excited to see how Y/n and Jensen are in the next chapter.

tags:@angelbabyyy99 @cutedisneygrl @kmc1989 @k-slla @jackles010378

#jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles x y/n #jensen ackles x female!reader #jensen ackles x you #X reader #danneel ackles #hurt/comfort

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jawritter · 1 year

Text

Carry On

Chapter 24

Summary: It was just a simple hunt, found on a pie festival. It was supposed to be easy. Something they’d all done one hundred and one times a million. No one could have told Y/N, Dean, and Sam that nothing from that point on would ever be the same again.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader x Sam Winchester

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: PISSSTTTTT!!!! Here be smut! (I know you guys are gonna freak out when you see that warning lol.)

Due to the graphic nature of this fic, and the fact that it will eventually contain Smut. This fic is an 18 + only fic! If you’re under 18 DO NOT read this fic!

A/N: This fic is beta’d by @kazsrm67 Thanks so much love! Please do not copy my work! Feedback is golden! I hope you all enjoy this ride with me!

My Mastlist Series Masterlist

“Dean, come on, the show’s over,” Y/N laughed as she grabbed Dean’s hand and tugged, the lights were just coming back on in the theater, and the music from the credits were still blaring loudly all around the pair of them. Dean hadn’t budged when the rest of the movie goers had stood up when the show had ended, in fact, he sat with his eyes glued to the giant screen.

Dean gave her a weak smile, and then slowly stood to his feet. He was stalling, she could tell.

Even though she’d given him strict orders to stay in bed today while she ran her errands, and to not overthink any of this, apparently that’s exactly what he’d spent the day doing. She shouldn’t have been surprised really; Dean was the king of overthinking.

“You never know,” he said, attempting to keep his voice light. “Sometimes they put shit after the credits are over.”

“I doubt that they have anything after that, that ending pretty much said it all,” Y/N giggled, and Dean shrugged as they shoved their way out of the darkish theater, and into the lighter hallways that lead to the exit doors, causing them both to squint.

Dean wasted no time however, in rushing the pair of them through the crowded exit, and out into the parking lot, through the drizzling rain, and back into the safety and security of his Baby. Which wasn’t unusual for Dean, and had nothing to do with the fact that they were out in public, or that they were technically on a date; Dean just didn’t like being out in the open like that period. Old hunter paranoia probably. It was just something Dean now did that she thought nothing of.

He did seem a lot more relaxed once he was back behind the wheel, and turning the key to send warm air filtering through the car. It was oddly still cold this time of year in Kansas. Normally by now they were starting to get the first hints of warmer weather, but it was as if the bitter cold refused to let go this time.

“You wanna go grab some ice cream before we head home,” Dean offered, she could almost hear the tightness in his voice; she knew Dean well enough to know that given the opportunity he’d try to exhaust her so that when they got home, she’d be ready to go to bed; without any extracurricular activities. That wasn’t going to help him though. Like it or not, the only way to overcome this irrational fear of his body was to face it head on.

“Nah, I’m not really in the mood for ice cream,” Y/N deflected easily. “Why don’t we just head back for the night, it’s already almost 10, and most everything in this little town is gonna be closing down shortly anyway.”

She had a point there. Everything around here but the local watering hole, and the movie theater shut down at 9 PM, but she wasn’t about to give him the idea of going to the bar either. She wanted this to happen sober, for the both of them, and given the opportunity, Dean would make sure he was well and drunk beforehand so as to not remember what was to happen next.

Dean didn’t argue with her as she expected, instead he just turned onto the main road towards home, driving past Winchester’s Auto Repair; over the rain-dampened streets towards home. She could see by the tightness of his chiseled jawline that he was overthinking what was to come, and she needed to break the ice a little, or else he was going to clam up on her any moment, and it would take days for him to open up again.

“So,” she said, clearing her throat slightly to gain his attention. “When was the last time you’ve been to a movie?”

The question did as it was intended, and took the elder Winchester off guard, causing his brow to furrow as he continued to direct the sleek, black Impala down the empty suburban streets.

“I think I was seventeen,” he answered after a while. “We’d been on a hunt for a while, and Dad and Bobby were having a tough time tracking down a shapeshifter in town. Sammy and I had been enrolled in the local school, and I met a girl there. She was only a year younger than me. I walked to her house one night, and took her to see a movie. The theater was only three blocks from her house. I don’t even remember what we were going to see, but as I walked into the place, the guy that was standing behind the counter selling popcorn and overpriced drinks eyes flashed white and I knew I found our guy. So, while the movie was playing, I slipped out and shot the shifter in the back of the head… I didn’t even bother going back in to get her, I just walked out, told Dad what I’d done, and we left town. That was it.”

A heaviness settled over Y/N; a suffocating one. It wasn’t fair that a seventeen-year-old boy had to live a life of such horror and violence that he wasn’t even able to take a girl he liked on a date. Then it hit her, the echoes of the past that were etched on his face as a reminder that Dean Winchester was anything but weak. In fact, the man was a killer by nature. He’d been bred and raised to be hard. John’s little soldier. That definitely wasn’t fair, but it made sense why the transition to normalcy wasn’t ever gonna be an easy one. Every time he’d even gotten a taste of what he thought might be normal, it was either ripped away from him by the hand of John Winchester himself, or the life that John had forced Dean to lead. Either way, the fault always seemed to fall to John. Y/N had to agree with Sam about that.

“I’m sorry Dean, that’s horrible,” Y/N apologized, suddenly afraid that she’d single handedly put a damper on the entire evening and totally regretting that she had asked him anything about his past at all.

“It’s okay,” Dean assured her as he turned onto their street, a tight smile gracing his face, showing off those eye crinkles that unquestioningly seemed to give her life. They could absolutely chase away any kind of darkness, she was convinced of it.

“My life might not have been a fucking nineties sitcom sweetheart, but I can say I’ve seen and experienced things, and gone to places that no one else ever would. I don’t regret what I did that night. Hell, just in killing that one shifter, I saved countless other people. So, what if I didn’t get to get my dick wet, or say that I was able to walk the prom queen home from the movies while her ‘boyfriend’ was at home with a horrible case of mono that he contracted from cheating on her with almost every other girl on the cheerleading squad. All that shit is really trivial when I think back on it now, and if I wouldn’t have been where I was and hunting when we met, well, then I don’t think you’d be here sitting next to me right now, sounding like a really old fucking man.”

There was a chuckle in Dean’s voice, and it astounded her that even though his life had been anything but a bed of roses that he was even remotely able to see the bright side of it all. It was a true testament to the character that Dean tried to keep hidden, and definitely the reason that, after everything, he was still here. Still fighting.

“Well, enough with the heavy,” Dean diverted after a moment, before she could even say anything at all. She was impressed that he’d opened up as much as he had tonight, his past wasn’t something he liked to talk a whole lot about, not that she blamed him.

“What else you got on that little agenda tonight huh?” Dean questioned, giving her a smirk that could have melted the paint off of a fucking car.

It was as if she felt the air shift between them, which sent a live wire straight through her veins, and caused her to openly shiver.

Y/N shrugged, doing her best to play it cool, even though she had Dean Winchester in the flesh, looking at her like he was a predator, and she his prey. Something she had not seen from Dean in a long time, and never directed at her, usually it was at some bar room woman with more boobs than brain.

That’s when she decided that if this was the way he was comfortable with this game going, then she was going to let him take the lead. Forcing herself to be his girlfriend for once, give him the lead, stop treating him like some child that needed her help with every little fucking thing, and stop being his fucking caregiver.

“I don’t know,” she played coyly, twisting her hair in her fingers as she forced her eyes away from his piercing green oceans and to look over the expanse of their home instead for full effect. “Maybe I’ll go draw a bath, have some alone time before bed, read a book.”

Dean all but snorted with laughter as he kicked the door open and stepped out, flinging his hair slightly, and she wondered when he’d cut it, because he sure reminded her of Sam when he did that. Not that Dean with long hair and a light beard wasn’t attractive; it fucking was, it was just the little traits she saw of Sam in his older brother…. Or maybe it was the other way around and she never bothered to notice before.

She watched in silence as Dean shuffled his way around the car, a smirk still firmly planted on his plump, naturally pink lips as he opened her door, and in a gesture older than them both, reached for her hand to help her stand out of the car.

“I mean, I guess you could do that, it does sound nice,” Dean ventured, closing the car door once she was fully stepped out onto the pavement, before suddenly shifting the pair of them to pin her tiny frame against the cool, somewhat rain-dampened steel of Baby’s exterior; sealing his lips to hers in a breathtaking kiss that drove the cool mist of lightly fallen rain slowly soaking them both clean out of her mind. “Or you can come to bed with me.”

The deepened trimble of his rough voice vibrated from his solid chest to hers, combined with his warm breath that brushing over her kiss swollen lips in contrast with the nipping wind on her face damn near had her melting at his feet. Her head was swimming with everything that was Dean Winchester, from his broad, thick shoulders, to the taste of his chewing gum still tingling on her lips. Suddenly, she wasn’t sure she could survive this encounter, because the man had barely put a hand on her, and it was already more intoxicating of an experience than she'd ever imagined.

“I’m pretty sure I like your idea a lot better,” she stammered once she finally got her mind to work in combination with her lips as Dean worked to derail her train of thought by trailing his lips and tongue along her jawline to her ear lobe.

With a playful nip of her suddenly very sensitive skin, Dean forced himself off of her, lacing his fingers with hers, leading her towards the front door that was illuminated by the warm, glowing porch light they’d left on before leaving home for the evening.

Neither really paid it all that much attention though. Just as they paid little to no attention to Dean unlocking the front door to let her step inside the warm, safety of home. Nor did either party really register the way Dean tossed their coats haphazardly towards the back of the couch as they made their way towards the stairs to make the assent to their shared room. Both seemed to be suddenly trapped in the surreal fog of the shock that this is going to happen. There was a determination in the squareness of Dean’s shoulders, there was no turning back now. His mind was made up.

With his face set in an unreadable mask, Dean closed the outside world behind him, and with a flick of his wrist, locked the door. That's when her heart started drumming a fast pace rhythm in her rib cage, and she came face to face with her own fears, insecurities, and anxiety.

What if she did something wrong? What if she hurt him? What if she was pushing him too fast? What if this is the ultimate mistake that would shatter him?

"Hey," Dean's voice captured her attention, and she was stunned at how close to her he was suddenly standing, allowing his finger to trail over her cheek before pulling her into his warm embrace. "Are you okay?"

Y/N swallowed whatever lump had formed in her vocal chords and nodded, grounding herself in the warmth and stillness of his body holding her against him.

"I'm okay," Y/N assured him. "I'm more worried about you than myself. I don't want you to feel like we're doing this just because of me."

Dean shook his head before letting go of her long enough to pull off the hunter green Henley he was wearing, and allowed it to fall to the floor.

"No, I'm just as much into this as you are," he assured her. "Regardless of how this turns out, I want to be close to you, and that's all that matters."

With more urgency and control than Dean had ever shown her before, his lips collided with her own in a battle of teeth and tongue as he slowly walked her towards the bed in the center of the room, clothes falling to the floor as they went, in a shower of panted breaths and pounding hearts until the back of her knees hit the bed, and she crawled her way to the top of the bed with Dean crawling over her, his lips still in pursuit of hers.

"You're gorgeous sweetheart," he whispered against her lips as they both halted to catch their breath. "I don't tell you that enough."

"Speak for yourself handsome," she assured him, allowing her fingers to trace the line of freckles that speckled his shoulders.

Deep, hooded, green orbs traced the line of her face, and worked their way down her bare body before his lips made their descent from her throat, to her breast; taking his time with each nipple until she was writhing underneath the thick frame of him.

"Dean," she pleaded with him as he began to rut his thick length against her already soaked and throbbing center. The head of his cock pressing against her swollen clit with each pass he made.

"Goddammit baby girl," Dean breathed, his eyes damn near rolling in their sockets as he continued rutting against her. "So close already and I've barely touched you. Can you cum for me like this?"

Her words stuck in her throat somehow as the pressure in her body built until a moan ripped through her body as her vision went white, and her body shook into her release.

"Fuck," Dean swore as he pressed his cock into her quivering cunt, and she screamed at his intrusion.

He was massive and long. Dean slowly thrust in and out of her cunt, drawing out her orgasm as long as he could before her body finally started to adjust to him, and he began to set a steady pace.

Lips found hers in a heated kiss as he started to fuck her in earnest. Pent up frustration and need started to bubble over in a mess of skin, sweat, and groans, as their bodies worked together with one another. Every drag of his impressive manhood sent that same rubber band tightening tighter and tighter as his hips rolled harder and harder, pressing his pelvis into her clit with each calculated thrust until suddenly; he stopped, teeth gritted, and breath caught in his throat as pleasure started to fade into pain.

But she didn't let it faze him, he was doing too well, he was far too close to a much-needed release; so, she hooked her leg around his waist and used the force of her body to turn them over. The switch distracted him from whatever it was he was feeling, and his eyes rolled back into his head as her hips moved, picking up where he left off.

As soon as she saw that she wasn't hurting him, she began to ride him in earnest and fuck, she didn't know if she'd ever felt so fucking full in her life. The change in angle increased the friction in the places she needed him most, but as his hips lifted to meet her, thrust for thrust, desperate and chasing his own end in a moaning mess underneath her, she saw stars. Her velvet walls clamped down hard around his dick, and he exploded inside of her as they came together, both of them riding the wave of bliss until they were an exhausted, trembling mess.

When she'd come down, she slowly dismounted him, and quickly made her way to the bathroom to clean herself up, and return with a warm cloth to clean Dean up too.

Heavy green eyes watched in silence until she was done, and he pulled the cover over himself and lifted it for her to join him.

Suddenly, she was beyond tired, her limbs felt like jello as the adrenalin drained from her body. She found solace in the warmth of his skin against her own, and the steady, calm rise and fall of his chest under her hand.

"Are you okay?" Y/N questioned, and Dean cleared his throat as her voice stirred him awake from the doze he'd slipped into.

"Yeah, it didn't hurt like I thought it would. The more we work at it, the more I will learn my limitations and things will get easier, but for now baby rest, don't worry about me, I'm better than I've ever been."

So was she, if she was honest. She was better than she'd been in a long, long time.

Forever:

@bubsonnobx

@britnwinchester

@samanddeaninatrenchcoat

@wittysunflower

@demongirl1996

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Jensen and Dean’s Babes

@deans-baby-momma

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#carry on #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #hurt!dean winchester #hurt!dean winchester x you #hurt!dean winchester x reader #hurt!dean winchester x y/n #hurt!dean x reader #hurt!dean x you #hurt!dean x y/n #dean x reader #dean x you #dean x y/n #spn fanfiction #spn fanfic #spn series #jawritter #jensen ackles

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spnexploration · 2 years

Text

Accidents Happen

Characters: Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, reader.

Synopsis: While guest acting on Supernatural, things go awry filming a fight scene with Jensen. Platonic but definitely some hurt/comfort!

Warnings: accidental punch to the face

A/N: Had this idea while watching the gag reels. Normally, I don't like Jensen and Jared fics because they're real people and I don't want to put words or behaviours on them, but this one is short and sweet and I hope they wouldn't feel upset about (not that they would ever read it!). So please recognise that this is an imaginary situation with fictional characters, who happen to be fictional versions of the actors in Supernatural 😆

Punch right. Dodge left. Duck. Attempted block left, react as if hit. Grab Jensen's arm and buckle knees.

I chanted the fight choreography in my head while performing it, trying to ensure I didn't screw it up while the cameras were rolling. My character had to be able to partly hold her own against the mighty Dean Winchester, before finally being overpowered.

Attempt roll away. Jensen pins my arms, squirm. React to fake punch on the right, then-

Fuck. Punch was on the left. I hissed and my eyes stung as Jensen's fist connected with my nose, the outcome of me dodging the wrong way and moving into his punch rather than away. His eyes went wide momentarily and my face ached.

I made the split-second decision to keep going, pulling my wrist out of his grasp and kicking my legs at him. He dodged and reacted like we'd practised, so we kept going.

I got out of his grasp, scooting back along the ground and searching ineffectively for a weapon with my hands. My nose was throbbing and my face felt hotter than normal.

Jensen stood up, angry Dean face on. He advanced towards me threateningly, grabbing his angel blade off the table where it'd fallen earlier.

"Ok! Ok!" I said my line, hands up in front of me. "I'll take you to him."

We held our positions another moment or two. "CUT!" came the call.

Jensen instantly dropped the knife prop and came over to me, crouching down to my level. "Shit, sorry Y/n! Let's get you to first aid."

"I'm fine, I'm fine," I tried to reassure him, embarrassed.

"Your nose is bleeding, you took a proper punch to the face."

"Oh."

He took my hand with one hand and his other hand went around my back to my shoulder. He helped me to my feet.

"It's not that bad," I said weakly, disliking that I was guest actor and already causing a fuss.

Jensen gave me a look that brokered no arguments and led me to first aid, his arm still around my shoulders.

---

"What happened to you?" Alice, the first aid officer, exclaimed.

"I got the choreo wrong," I half-mumbled.

"Jensen! Did you do this to this poor girl?" Alice berated him good-naturedly as she ushered me to sit.

"Unfortunately yes," he responded, at the same time as I gushed, "No, no, it was my fault."

Jensen hovered while they fetched me ice and cleaned up the blood. His brow was creased and he looked guilty, watching the first aid ministrations. My face flushed, embarrassed.

"I'm fine, really," I mumbled to him, not making eye contact.

Eventually, someone came along to fetch Jensen for more shooting. It sounded like they'd rearranged the schedule and would film his close-ups while they waited for me.

"The make-up department are going to kill me," I joked to Alice.

"Oh, I dunno," she replied, "you just made their job easier. So long as you only need to film post-punch scenes!"

Alice eventually let me take the ice off and she inspected my face. "I don't think anything's broken, but you'll probably have a hell of a bruise and maybe even a black eye or two."

"Great," I deadpanned.

Jared appeared while I was standing up and thanking Alice.

"I heard Jensen did a real number on you," he said from behind me.

I turned around, looking up at him as he was significantly taller than me. He whistled low when he saw my face.

"It was my fault," I said, embarrassed. "Went the wrong way."

He shrugged, "These things happen. Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Great. Now, do you want help plotting your revenge?" he said with a cheeky grin. "I have many great prank ideas."

#dean winchester #supernatural #spn #dean winchester fic #spn fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #hurt/comfort #jensen ackles #jensen ackles fic #reader insert #drabble #jensen x you #platonic supernatural

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bittersweetarts · 8 months

Text

How to Disappear - Chapter 2

Soldier Boy (The Boys) x OC

Word count: 3933 words

Summary: Eden Reid can't help her curiosity, and Soldier Boy can't help but take advantage of that curiosity.

WARNINGS: Cursing, substance abuse, minor violence

Chapter 1 - Chapter 3 - AO3 Page

Chapter 2: Sweet

While Eden scoured for her co-worker, Matt’s phone number, and frantically begged for his plug’s contact info, Soldier Boy made himself home in Eden’s cabin. And the first item in his agenda whilst doing so, was to steal beer from Eden’s fridge… multiple bottles, without asking.

“This Bud Light shit’s not too bad.”

Soldier Boy remarked as roamed around Eden’s living space, while she stood not paying attention him, hunched over her kitchen counter, texting Jenna, the woman who was generous enough to be supplying her (or rather him) some blow. Unfortunate for Soldier Boy though, Jenna would not drive up to Norvin Green Forest just for her.

Setting her phone down on the counter, Eden took a breath and turned to face Soldier Boy, who was already watching her, and the two stared at each other. Soldier was still dressed in his ruined costume, and Eden momentarily wondered whether he was comfortable. Who the fuck cares, Eden thought, and snapped herself back to reality, pressing her lips together before speaking up.

“I found someone who selling, but she’s unavailable tonight. I’ll drive by to pick it up tomorrow”

At that, Eden saw Soldier Boy’s jaw clench before he feigned a smile, not saying anything.

The room was deathly-silent, and Eden felt that it was likely she was going to be killed if she did not think quick. Turning around and opening one of her cupboards, she pulled an unopened bottle of whiskey she had bought a very long time ago and mustered up as much charm in her tone as she could.

“I’ve got whiskey, and I can make something to eat. You must be hungry.”

Eden could feel the fakeness in her demeanor, and cursed herself for being such a terrible actor, but it seemed to work, as Soldier Boy walked up to her and took the whiskey bottle from her hand before responding.

“That would be nice, doll.”

Eden was now pressed against the counter, and could feel Soldier Boy’s acidic breath on her face as he spoke. He did not step back or create any distance as he opened the bottle one-handedly and took a swig. Pressing her lips together out of nerves, Eden side-stepped out of his proximity, and approached her fridge, glad that she always gets her groceries after she finishes work for the weekend.

With her fridge and pantry full, she willed herself to calm down and started making a midnight meal, as Soldier Boy leaned against the counter near her, and began to grill her about who she was, how he had ended up in her home, and what the fuck has happened since he last had opened his eyes.

The savory scent of seared meatballs took hostage of the cabin’s living room and kitchen, and as Eden continued to cook, Soldier Boy’s mood seemed to improve.

“… and the Super-Goldilocks is back in the Seven, forgiven just like that?”

“I don’t know, I kind of forgot about Starlight and she hasn’t been on the news in ages. I think she’s quit, that is if quitting is an option.”

Eden responded passively whilst stirring the pot of pasta, and Soldier Boy let out a loud, humorless laugh. The American ex-hero was now more than half-way through the large whiskey bottle, now dressed in oversized grey sweats and a dark shirt, or rather it was oversized for Eden, but him just right. Eden hated to admit it, but she doubted anything would look bad on him.

Dinner was going to take some time – Eden made the strategic choice to make something reasonably time-consuming, in case he intended to kill her post-meal, and in the event he’d kill her because the food was bad – and Eden had offered her shower, spare toiletries and a change of clothes after he had conducted his interrogation of her.

“Denver, Colorado.”

“So, you’re a Coloradan.” Soldier Boy asked, staring at her intently as she cleaned and chopped some onions, in her sweats and sandy-brown hair in a high pony.

“Born and bred.”

“Age.”

“Twenty-five. Turning twenty-six in a few months.” Eden did not see Soldier Boy raise his brows at her.

“What do you want from me?” This confused Eden, who furrowed her burrows.

“Nothing.”

“And you have never worked for Vought?”

“Nope, not interested.”

“And Butcher?”

“Butcher what?” Eden turned around to face the man in her cabin, setting down the knife she held onto the cutting board. “… You mean have I killed anyone? No, I don’t really like hurting people.”

The questions began to trail off and finish, and Eden’s answers seemed to satisfy Soldier Boy, as did her meal she prepared, which was a warm meatball stroganoff.

Eden wasn’t blind and could see that Soldier Boy was big, so she plated as much as possible on a large plate, and placed it on the single plain plastic mat which was laying on the kitchen dining table, along with a fork and knife. Soldier Boy had been already sat at the table, and smiled at her oddly enthusiastically.

“Bon appetite.” Eden said tiredly as she sat down a seat away from her guest, who had already began eating ravenously, ignoring her.

Unlike Soldier Boy, who only seemed more alive as each moment passed, Eden was exhausted, and could feel that tiredness in her bones. Probably due to that tiredness, Eden sat in silence, expressionless, as she watched her guest empty his plate and let out a satisfied burp.

“That was not half-bad, doll.”

Soldier Boy commented as he took another swig of the whiskey. But before he was able to set it down on the dining table, Eden grabbed the bottle, now not only tired but irritated by his comment, and chugged it near to its end. As she did, Soldier Boy met her brown eyes, lips quirked with a tilted head, as though amused by her little outburst. His face tilted down, as though daring her to say something, and with liquid courage, Eden did just that.

“Are you going to kill me? I’m tired, so if you’re not going to, I’m going to bed. Feel free to sleep on the couch, in the guest room, or don’t. You can leave, I really don’t care.”

As she finished speaking, the brunette could feel her head begin to spin, and dropped the bottle onto the table before pushing herself off her seat and stamping to her bedroom, not bothering to wait for her guest’s response, who simply raised his brows at her outburst and finished off the bottle.

Who the fuck does he think he is? Eden thought as she collapsed onto bed. Her bedroom door was open and Eden did not even bother to change before falling asleep.

The blaring, repetitive high-pitched sound of Eden’s alarm penetrated into her sleep, and as she woke up, Eden cursed herself for forgetting to switch it off for the weekend. It was a Saturday morning, so why the fuck would she need to be up at half past six in the morning.

Her eyes burned as she started at her ceiling, which was beginning to get lighter, signaling the start of a new day. Eden was just about to drift back into sleep, until she remembered the night before, and the large dangerous man in her cabin.

Soldier Boy.

Suddenly Eden’s heart began to race again and involuntarily the brunette sat up, as her body now jolted into complete consciousness.

Fucking hell. Eden thought, as she reluctantly sat up in her bed, still tired but now sleepless.

The November freeze was beginning to set, her room failing to maintain its warmth. On top of her clothing, which still reeked of cooked beef and seasoning, Eden threw on an oversized lilac hoodie and draped herself with her blanket as she walked out her room, and looked around her quiet house. Except for the unmade guest bed and last night’s cooking, there was no sign of him, and Eden wondered whether he had left.

As she cleared the mess from last night, the thought of him gone brought her relief, until she looked out the kitchen window and saw the fucker on the cabin’s deck, watching the sunrise.

Sighing, opened the kitchen back-door, and blanket still draped over her, Eden walked up to Soldier Boy, who did not react in any way, instead just watching the mountains and the trees against the backdrop of the sun rising. The morning birds began their song, and Eden would alternate between watching the scene and glancing at Soldier Boy, who stood unphased in the freezing cold in sweats and a thin black shirt, which was tight against his built chest and massive arms.

Of course he doesn’t feel the fucking cold.

“It’s a nice view.”

Soldier Boy was the first to break the silence, and as he spoke, the winter sun cast a golden hue onto his face. He was still watching the trees whilst Eden watched him, and as a sharp wind passed, Eden tighten the hold on her blanket. Not knowing what to say, and definitely not pegging him for a sentimental guy, Eden mumbled in agreement, looking away.

“It is.”

Eden was right, Soldier Boy was not a sentimental guy, and he was never one to appreciate nature. He didn’t give a fuck about it, never did, but for some reason, it caught his attention now. He didn’t feel like himself, not since he woke, and whilst Eden slept, Soldier Boy was left with his thoughts, processing what had happened to him.

He was betrayed by his team, again. He felt lost, again. He felt like a nobody, forgotten, a fucking loser, again. And he was so fucking sick of it. Still looking out, feeling oddly vulnerable, Soldier Boy spoke in his usual cadence.

“My name is Ben, short for Benjamin. Did you know that?”

Eden remained quiet, and Soldier Boy turned to look at the girl next to him, who shook her head again, still intimidated, and Ben chuckled in response.

“You can use your words, doll.”

“No.” Eden’s throat felt dry, and she still didn’t know what else to say.

“I was born in Philly. We don’t have as many mountains there.” Soldier Boy stated simply, before looking out at the mountains again, finishing.

“This really is a nice view.”

In this moment, Eden wondered whether he really was that threatening, or whether she was being a coward and judging him too harshly. Taking a breath, she spoke up.

“If you think is nice, you’d love Colorado. The mountains are much grander, and the nature is breathtaking.”

Soldier Boy turned back to face Eden, tilting his head.

“Then why’d you leave?”

The brunette took no offense, and smiled as she answered.

“No reason to stay.”

Turning away, Eden stripped the blanket off herself, ignoring Soldier Boy’s burning stare and deflected before walking away.

“How do pancakes sound? Not too brag, but my Home-Ec teacher said that my pancakes were the best in the class.”

“Bet they are.” Soldier Boy responded loudly, smiling with his teeth, his green eyes fixated on the now visible outline of Eden’s ass as she walked away, her hips naturally swaying with every step she took.

Eden quickly noticed that Soldier Boy – or rather, Ben – actually really liked her cooking, and she wondered whether that was why he hung about her cabin. The leftovers of last night’s pasta must have been finished while she was asleep, and similarly, the pancakes she made in the morning were completely devoured.

The only thing Ben seemed to like more than her cooking, was the weed she bought from Jenna. And Jesus, did it stink up the cabin. Eden thought she could handle it - the depletion of her fridge, the heavy scent of Ben’s smoking, and occasionally, some strangely intrusive questions – and on that first day, she did. When Eden wasn’t cooking food, she was sat on the living room sofa reading whilst the TV was playing and Ben was smoking and drinking, and when Ben wasn’t smoking or drinking, he took it upon himself to start a one-sided conversation.

“College?”

“Dropped out.”

“A good girl like you? Bullshit, I don’t believe it.”

“I’m not forcing you to, but I doubt I’d be living in the woods and working as a receptionist forty minutes away if I did graduate.”

Ben continued asking personal questions about her and occasionally opened-up about himself. Eden didn’t learn much, but she did learn that he went to boarding school, and that his favorite movie was A Streetcar Named Desire.

“Marlon Brando, now that’s a real man.” Eden doubted that Ben knew anything about the Last Tango in Paris movie controversy which involved Brando, and considering he literally belonged to the previous century, she doubted he’d care.

With that personality, he should thank God for his looks. Eden thought more than once.

As the days passed, Eden did not expect Soldier Boy to be so genial, but she didn’t question it. If he was going to hang around her, she’d prefer him curious and amiable, rather than hands wrapped around her throat (and not in the sexy way).

After two days of this though, Eden grew quickly tired.

Rather quickly, the food in her house ran out and Soldier Boy – correction, Ben – had almost finished the weed, despite her purchasing a copious amount. Eden wasn’t made out of money, obviously she wasn’t, no one was nowadays with rising fuel and energy prices.

And since her guest was not exactly bringing anything to the table, and Eden had to go back to her job the following morning, she started to feel a little tense. On top of that, Eden was used to being alone, having been like that for years now, and having company honestly drained her.

“Hey Ben.”

Dressed in her red coat, Eden walked up to her guest after clearing up the dishes from dinner (it was lasagna, so thankfully not that many dishes).

Ben was sat on a wooden chair on the deck, now in a simple white t-shirt, still smoking and drinking. As usual, when Eden was not talking to him, Ben sat alone with his own thoughts, and Eden wondered what took up so much space on his mind.

Soldier Boy hummed in response as she walked up to him, taking the seat beside him. It was rather late, still cold, but the sky was clear, and the moon shone brightly.

“I’ve got to get up early for work tomorrow, and I’ll be away until the evening –”

“Skip it.” Ben interrupted Eden with a grin, before taking another puff of his joint.

“I can’t.”

“Why the fuck not.”

This time when Ben exhaled the smoke, the wind blew it onto Eden’s face. Eden was never a particularly patient person, and unsurprisingly, she found herself irritated by this.

“Because who’s then going to pay for that weed. You’ve already asked me to get more, and money doesn’t fucking grow on the trees.”

A crack in Soldier Boy’s friendly façade appears, as his smile tightens.

“Cussing is not attractive, doll.”

“And neither is bumming it. Go fuck yourself. And my name is Eden, not doll. It’s twenty-twenty-two, not the fucking nineteen-seventies.”

Eden’s response was quick, and with every word, her voice raised, meanwhile Soldier Boy’s smile minimized and jaw clenched, as though he were restraining himself. Unlike Soldier Boy though, Eden could not bite her tongue and continued her rant.

“And while we’re at it, what exactly are you – are we – doing? I’ll be going to work and you’ll be here, doing what? You’re welcome to stay, but I don’t particularly want Homelander or Vought on my front-porch, ready to discard me as collateral damage.”

As she spoke, she unconsciously started gripping the chair’s arm, which began to crack, and Soldier Boy noticed this.

“I’m sure you can take care of yourself, doll.”

“Of course I can look after myself, but just because you’re here doesn't mean that I'm a little housewife, cooking and cleaning after you, whilst also working and watching my back for your enemies.”

At this, Soldier Boy’s patience finished and now he spoke in the same spiteful tone.

“I didn’t ask for your help, or for anything from you. You decided to play hero all on your own. And you know what I fucking think, sweetheart, I think that your panties have been dry for a very long time and you jumped at the first opportunity you saw a real man who could fix that for you. Nothing to be ashamed of or get prissy about.”

Soldier Boy’s monologue was cut short by the sound of sharp slap.

Eden, stood now, didn’t hold herself back when she slapped her hand against Soldier Boy’s cheek, and her super strength definitely showed, as Soldier Boy cupped the point of impact with his free hand, dropping his joint to the ground, his eyes now glazed with a look that infuriated Eden even more. Eden didn’t care if Soldier Boy would kill her now and continued insulting him.

“Jesus Christ are you delusional. I would stab myself a million before I even fucking touch you–”

Eden was unable to finish her sentence, because in the blink of an eye, her face was grabbed firmly, and she felt warm lips aggressively press against hers, and hairs scratch against her skin.

Eden didn’t even really like him, so why the fuck was her first instinct to reciprocate, close her eyes and open her stupid fucking mouth. And as they made out in the freezing cold, Eden suddenly felt to warm in her coat, and as Soldier Boy pulled her on top of himself, Eden, still very much kissing him, started peeling off her coat, feeling just too warm.

And the most embarrassing part was not Eden’s reciprocity, but that Soldier Boy was the first one to pull away and hold her back as she instinctively pushed forward to meet his lips again.

“You were saying, doll.”

“Oh, shut the fuck up.”

Snapped to reality for a moment, Eden tried to pick herself up and get up from Ben’s lap, but before managing to do so, with strong hands around her waist, Ben pushed her back in, letting their lips collide again. Irritated with him yet again, Eden stubbornly refused open her mouth until he lightly bit her bottom lip, causing her to gasp, giving his tongue to opportunity to enter her mouth again.

Not that Eden would ever admit to him, but it had been a long time since she’d last have sex, specifically since her God U days before she broke up with her ex, and she has been practically celibate since. And something inside her took control as she was forced by her intuition, and ignored her rationality, similar to when she first saw Soldier Boy on the beach weeks ago.

Without realizing, Soldier Boy picked up Eden and she instinctively wrapped her around his waist, and her hands moved to his hair, gripping on the strands and inciting a groan from him. His lips were on her own, and on her jaw, neck, ears, chest, stomach, legs, and practically everywhere else, and as the night went on, the two of them did it in the kitchen, living room, and eventually reached her bedroom.

Ben would call her sweet, tell her she tasted just like that, and Eden would tell him to shut up, and to keep going. The brunette did not even know that this part of herself existed, the part of her that was so set on simply just fucking someone else and actually enjoying it, pleasure with no real love or attachment present, and Soldier Boy was more than happy to provide that experience for her, repeatedly, all night long.

When Eden woke up, she was not greeted by a warm body next to hers, but by the familiar blaring beeping of her stupid alarm. Eden’s eyes were blurry, and her head pounded as she sat up to switch off her stupid alarm, which informed her of the time. Half past six.

Eden’s head hurt, and as she rolled back to bed and turned to her side, flashes of the previous night came to her.

Her nails scratching his bare back as he entered her.

His teeth sinking into her chest, leaving temporary wet marks.

The bitter taste of his mouth, and how she didn’t entirely hate it.

Ben.

As Eden started remembering, she sat back up and her bed creaked, something it did not previously do. The brunette looked around her room, only to find it empty. Eden assumed that Ben probably went back to the guest bedroom, or maybe decided to get an early start to his drinking and smoking.

It wasn’t her business, but Eden was curious, and her feet moved on their own accord, first to the guest bedroom, which was empty, bed still undone of course. The house was quiet, with only the birds chirping in the background.

Odd.

As Eden ventured of to the living room, and then the kitchen, she found the place a mess – with throw pillow all over the place and glass shards scattered in one corner, from when Eden accidentally pushed it off the kitchen counter only some hours earlier – a consequence from their late-night activities.

Eden’s eyes scanned her living space, but no sign of the large man who had haunted her house for the past weeks could be found. Eden looked around the cabin’s front porch and back-deck, but it was just the same, empty. The only sign left of Soldier Boy was the small pile of laundry he left on the ground, and the stench of weed that occupied various spaces around the cabin.

Stop it.

Eden scolded herself as she went to freshen up for the day and get ready for work. Soldier Boy – Ben – probably felt cooped up and decided to go for a run or explore the area. And even if he left, who the cares. Eden sure as hell shouldn’t. Ben intruded in her space, contributed nothing, wasted her time and energy, and made such a mess. He was not nice, and did not sincerely thank her even once.

Sure, he was a good fuck, but that’s it. And was he even a good fuck if he didn’t even bother to put on a condom or ask if she was on birth control? That’s the thing about men, you couldn’t count on them for anything. That’s exactly why Eden had a copper IUD, because even with her ex of two years, she couldn’t count on him (apparently it didn’t feel as good with rubber).

Anyways, it doesn’t matter.

Or that’s what Eden tried to tell herself as she brushed her hair and applied lipstick, before heading out of her home, dressed in her usual outfit for work, a modest black dress and her coat. Glancing at the hallway clock, Eden observed the time, and saw that it was almost eight, which was the perfect time to leave, as she’d still have time to grab a coffee before reaching the clinic.

But as she looked at the trinket tray which sat on the cabinet by the door, she found it bare, missing something really important.

The keys to her Mazda.

The keys to her fucking Mazda were missing from the place she always kept them at, ever since she moved to her cabin over four years ago.

“Motherfucker.”

Author's Note: I'm feeling a little delirious, and I've proofread this but am not entirely certain about its quality and grammar. If there are any mistakes or something doesn't make sense, apologies! On another note, I've started watching Supernatural 🫡 Jensen Ackles, oml Also, if you are enjoying the story, I always appreciate comments as they really motivate me!

– Chapter 3

#soldier boy #ben #the boys #the boys amazon #fanfiction #soldier boy x oc #soldier boy x you #jensen #jensen ackles #jensen ackles fanfiction #homelander #vought #you imagine #hurt #hurt comfort #the boys tv #butcher #soldier boy ben #soldier boy x original character

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alyssaswrld999 · 9 days

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Why Are You Doing This To Yourself?/ Dean Winchester x Reader

Warning: Vaping, Deppression, Self-harm, Kissing, Comfort, Deep Conversations

Story Prompt: Y/n has been hunting with Dean and Sam for a long time. She has had trouble dealing with some stuff that's on her mind and everything going on around her lately. Y/n finally finds her best solution and she has considered "Vaping calms her". Dean finds her and he has so many thoughts on this.

Y/n's POV:

Lately hunting has been a struggle for me. Everything has just been going wrong and I feel like I'm messing things up. Im having a hard time believing I'm gonna be ok. That it's gonna just get better and I can move on.

Is it though?

Am I going to get through this?

Am I doing good by putting others first?

Life as a hunter is never easy at all. I always hear Sam and Dean say "This life isn't easy". It's true I mean this life puts the ones you love in danger.

This life makes you end up dead.

This life makes you a different person.

It changes your whole aspect of reality...

Ever since Charlie died I've had a hard time. So has Dean and Sam. Charlie was my bestfriend and she would always call and check up on me and the boys.

But now since she's gone I have no one else to be a nerd with. Me and her loved the same music, movies, etc. She was like a sister to me and I miss her.

I just wish she was here...

I get up from my bed in the bunker and I walk over to my desk. I open the left drawer and I pull out my vape. I never told Sam and Dean that I started because I didn't want them to worry.

The only time that I use it is when I'm overwhelmed and just need to calm down. It helps me and it let's me take a break from the stress.

I walk back over to my bed and I put some music on and start to take a hit. It was relaxing to know I can have a moment to myself.

Suddenly someone knocked on my door. "Y/n you awake?" Dean said.

"Yeah give me a sec" I said quickly. I take my vape and put it in my bra really quick. As I fix my shirt Dean opens the door. "Hey" I said smiling at Dean.

Dean looked around my room and then looked at me. "Hey... does it smell fruity in here?" Dean asked. I look around and played dumb. "Uh no not really I mean the only fruity thing in my room is my perfume" I said.

"Oh okay uhm well I came In here to ask you if you wanted to spend the night with me? In my room and uh we could watch a movie?" Dean said smiling.

Dean and me would do this every Friday night and I mean it is one of the best things me and him do. This would make me feel better I mean it's Dean. I love him a lot and well even if we don't stay in the same room that doesn't mean he isn't the best boyfriend ever.

I just don't want him to know I vape because I don't want him to worry. He already has enough stress on his plate and it ain't fair to him or Sam.

"Of course I'll spend the night with you De" I said. Dean smiled and got excited at my answer. "Alright uhm I'm gonna make the popcorn and set up the movie. You go to my room and make yourself comfy ok" Dean said.

I nodded my head and laughed at him. "Alrighty De I can do that" I said. Dean walked up to me and kissed my head. "I love you Y/n" Dean said.

I love how Dean gets like this because it's so sweet. He acts all tough but the truth is he's just my big teddy bear. "I love you to Dean" I said kissing his cheek.

Dean then walked away and went to make the popcorn. I sighed and got up to put my vape away in my desk. "Can't let him see me hurting" I thought.

I change my clothes and put on my black night pants and Dean's grey tshirt. I mean you can't have a good movie night without being In comfy baggy pj's.

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I get into Dean's room and make myself comfortable on Dean's bed. I brought my pillow and my favorite blanket. I set it up on Dean's bed and I finally lay down and wait for Dean.

Pretty soon a couple of minutes later Dean comes back with a bag of candy, popcorn, and two beers. I chuckled at him seeing him struggle. I get up and walk over to Dean smiling at him.

"Let me help you De" I said grabbing the beers and popcorn. I walk over to the bed and sit down and set the snacks up. Dean puts down the bag of candy beside me and then walks over to close his bedroom door.

"I'm gonna change real quick so is it cool if you set up the movie?" Dean asked. I nodded my head and grabbed his laptop and pulled up the movie. He wanted to watch "Scream" and "Texas Chainsaw Massacre".

"Thought you only wanted to watch one movie?" I said. Dean turned around and as I looked up I was really liking his pj's. He had only grey sweatpants and a white tshirt.

"Yeah uh I was just thinking if you wanted to watch another movie we could have two? I mean it's just fun to do these movie nights and well just wish you could stay in this room with me all the time" Dean said.

I nodded my head and tapped the bed. "I mean we could make that happen" I said. Dean smiled and sat down on the bed beside me getting comfortable.

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4 hours later me and Dean are still laying in bed watching movies. As I was sitting there I kept having the urge to go and have a quick "break". I look over at Dean and seen that he was asleep.

I get up quietly and cover him up with the blankets. "I'll be back" I whispered as I lean down to kiss him. My lips make contact with his forehead and I sighed as I pulled away.

I make my way out of Dean's bedroom and make my way down the hall to mine. My breath kept getting quicker and quicker as I made it closer to my room.

I didn't even realized that I arrived at my bedroom door and opened it. My feet were moving for me and my mind was fuzzy. The next thing I know I have my vape in my hands and I'm taking hits from it.

I didn't even hear the footsteps coming down the hallway to my room or the faint voice calling my name. I was just focused on inhaling the vape.

"Y/n..." Dean said. I finally came back to reality after calming down and realized I've been caught. I turn and look at Dean and he was pissed. "Oh shit..." I mumbled.

The expression on Dean's face explained everything that he was feeling. He seemed Angry, confused, sad, upset. "Why the hell are you vaping?" Dean said walking towards me. I froze in place not being able to move away. I was angry at myself that I could be so stupid to give up quickly to hit that stupid damn vape.

"Dean let me explain" I mumbled. Dean kept walking toward me and grabbed my vape from my hands. "I can't believe that your doing this to yourself" Dean said with venom at the end of his sentence.

"Dean just let me explain" I said. Dean looked at me with anger in his eyes. "Y/n why? Why do this" Dean said with less venom. I started to tear up and Dean noticed. "No... no you don't get to do that not after this" Dean said holding up the vape. I look down at the floor finding it more interesting to look at then Dean at the moment.

All I hear is Dean's footsteps leave the room and I start tearing up again. I look up and seen he was gone and I felt my heart breaking as I fall to my knees on the floor. I wanted to shout and scream but I couldn't. All I could do is sit there and cry on silence with no one to hear me.

Dean was hurt by me doing this to myself and he has every right to be. But at the same time he doesn't understand how I feel about anything. How I have to just live with this pain and not show it. And because the fact I never show it I always feel alone.

But I need Dean to be here for me but he won't. I understand why he won't be but still. He stormed out instead of talking it out with me. Do I need to be alone? Do I need to suffer alone? Who knows...

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The next day was more stressful and awkward as last night. It was different and I felt more alone than I was before. I woke up in my room and I felt a tug in my heart. I didn't want to get out of bed but I knew I needed to face the day.

I open the door slowly and I take a quick breath. "Hopefully no one's awake yet" I thought. I walk out of my room and I make my way to the kitchen to see Sam on his laptop. I quickly walk over to the coffee maker and make myself a glass of coffee. "Good morning" Sam said.

I sighed and turn to look at Sam. "Mornin" I said. Sam looked at me and raised his eyebrows in question. "Are you okay?" Sam asked. I sighed and took a sip of my coffee but I choked at the bitter taste. "Yeah... uhm I really don't know how to answer that" I said.

"Wanna talk about it?" Sam said closing his laptop. I looked at Sam and was about to respond until Dean entered the kitchen. I look away and put my coffee mug down. "I'll see you later Sam" I said leaving the room.

As I walked away I heard Dean scoff and I then decided to hide beside the door to the kitchen. "What was that about" Sam said. I heard Dean sigh and then he began to speak.

"Y/n was vaping"

"Wait what? Why would she do that"

"I don't know Sam"

"Did you talk to her about it"

"No, I stormed off last night and haven't talked to her since then"

"Dean you need to talk to her"

"Why Sam? There is nothing to say, I just can't believe she would do something like that to herself"

"Well Dean talking is better than leaving her to fight with whatever is going on alone"

I finally had enough listening and I made my way back to my room. I just didn't want to be around Dean because he clearly has nothing to say to me.

As I enter my room a whole new wave of depression hit me. I couldn't take this pain anymore and I just didn't want to see Dean right now. I shut my door and I rush to my bed seeming as that was the only thing to do.

"Why Charlie" I thought. As I sink down more into my bed the thoughts kept spilling like it was a waterfall in my head. What after felt like moments I heard a faint knock at my door. I didn't respond. The only thing I could do was listen.

After a moment the knock came back but it was more louder. Then finally the door knob turned and the door was opening. "Y/n?" Someone said. I didn't move my head to see who it was but the type of voice and the way the person acted from what I could hear was Sam.

"Y/n please can we talk" Sam said. I didn't move and Sam sighed. I thought he was going to leave but I was wrong. "Y/n Dean told me what happened and I was wondering if you could talk to me" Sam said gently. The next thing I know Sam is sitting on my bed and rubbing my shoulder softly.

I finally gave in and I latched myself to Sam and I was crying. I wanted to tell him what was going on but all I could do was cry. I couldn't stop crying because of all of my thoughts playing over and over in my head. I felt like I was crazy and I didn't know what to do.

"Hey, hey Its gonna be okay... it's okay Y/n" Sam said rubbing my head softly. I sobbed and I looked up at Sam. "I- I'm sorry" I said softly. Sam rubbed my head and comforted me. "It's okay you don't need to apologize. Just tell me what's going on and we will find a way to make everything okay" Sam answered.

I nodded my head and I started sobbing again. Sam comforted me until I calmed down to where I was ready to talk. I pulled away from Sam and I straightened myself to sit up.

"Its- there's just been so- so much going on" I mumbled. Sam looked at me concerned and rubbed my back softly. "After Charlie- after everything its just- I'm losing it Sammy" I said looking up at Sam. Sam gave me his usual empathetic look and nodded his head.

"Y/n I understand how you feel... and your not gonna lose it okay"

"But how do you know im not"

"Because you have me, Dean and Castiel"

"Are you sure about Dean? Because clearly from last night it explains he is mad at me"

"Dean's not mad at you Y/n he's worried and wants you to be okay"

"I understand he is worried I just don't want him to be... I just really need him right now and I don't want him being distant"

"Just give him a bit to calm down Y/n... he loves you"

"Okay... thank you Sammy"

"You're welcome Y/n"

Sam pulled me into a hug and I wrapped my arms around him. "It's gonna be okay" Sam whispered. I nodded my head and I pulled away. I laughed a little wiping my tears away and I smiled at Sam.

"Yeah... yeah it's gonna be okay" I replied. Sam smiled and got up from the bed. "I'll let Dean know your okay" Sam said leaving the room. I nodded my head and smiled while wiping my tears.

After a couple of moments Dean appeared in the doorway. "Hey" I whispered. Dean walked towards me and I stayed still. "Look I'm sorry-" I said but was interrupted by Dean kissing me. I pulled away a few minutes later and Dean held my cheek.

"Y/n you don't have to apologize okay" Dean answered. I started to tear up again and I gently smiled. "I love you... and I'm sorry for walking off last night" Dean whispered. I kissed his cheek and I nodded my head. "I understand why you did it though... and you don't need to apologize either" I said.

Dean sat down and pulled me in for a hug. I sighed and wrapped my arms around Dean as he kissed my head.

"We're gonna get through this"

"Yeah... we are... one day at a time"

"I love you Y/n"

"I love you too Dean"

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jacks-wack-attack · 1 year

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The Big Sky finale killed me. Absolutely murdered me. Here was the thought process while I basically went through the five stages of grief.

Ok so Buck has the girls but it will be fine because I said so

No Beau don't cry because now I am crying and we can't both be messes

Buck no don't blackmail the man just give him his daughter back

GIVE THE MAN HIS DAUGHTER DO NOT GO BACK ON YOUR WORD HOW DARE YOU I WILL COME THROUGH THIS SCREEN AND PUNCH YOU MYSELF

They're not in the trailer. It's fine. They are somewhere else. I am okay. Emily is okay. Denise is okay. I can keep on living.

BEAU PLEASE BE ALRIGHT OK YOU WILL BE FINE YOU'RE ROLLING DOWN THIS HILL AND FIGHTING HIM AND HE HAS A KNIFE AND YOU DON'T BUT PLEASE BE ALRIGHT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

.... she shot him. She shot Buck. Oh wait. Oh nO WAIT WHAT ABOUT THE GIRLS

*SCREAMS INTO THE VOID*

Ok I know Cassie and Cormac are being emotional but THE GIRLS

THEY FOUND THEM THANK GOODNESS

Catch me CRYING Emily is OKAY and Beau got his daughter back and I am LITERALLY in TEARS

DONNO IS ALIVE AND OKAY I FORGOT ABOUT HIM MY BOYYYYYY

"I felt something. Like my first time at Tim Horton's" - Donno, thank you for making me laugh after this entire episode broke me

YES GO DRINK BEERS TOGETHER BE HAPPY ENJOY EACH OTHER'S COMPANY BECAUSE YOU MAKE A GREAT TEAM AND BEAU YOU BETTER STAY (don't think I don't see that hand on Jenny's thigh y'all are adorable)

So that was the finale. It may come as a shock, but Beau is my favourite (I know, who would've guessed) and seeing him in pain puts me in pain so this whole episode was PAIN with a splash of joy at the end for funsies. It's fiiiiiine I am totally not crying anymore

#big sky #sheriff beau arlen #beau arlen #jensen ackles #why must you do this to me #why must you hurt me like this #i cried #the tears are real #big sky finale #i went through the five stages of grief #don't play with my emotions like this #jenny hoyt #she's a saint #cassie dewell #she is also great #but i can sleep tonight #knowing Emily and Denise are okay #screw buck #beau x jenny

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thesilmarillionblog · 1 month

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𓏲 𓂃 L o s i n g Y o u

Part: 3

Click here to read the first part!

Pairing: Soldier Boy / Reader

Warnings: Heavy angst, hurt, cruel Soldier Boy, reader gets hurt, mention of violence, betrayal, Soldier Boy being a dick, reader is a supe, Crimson Countess is a bitch

Word Count: 2194

A/N: English is not my first language.

* This story is inspired by the song "Losing You" by Dream Evil.

Ben’s lips parted to say something when you told him that he would never hear you saying those three words again, but he clenched his jaw, and his eyes sharpened with fury.

“Don’t even bother, because those words already mean nothing to me.”

You caught him looking at your lips for a second, but he let go of your chin immediately and pulled himself together like he would kiss you if he waited for another second. His unreadable face was filling your heart with hope since you knew he would be far more different if he really didn’t like you at all as he told.

You walked over to him and gently touched his rough hand, asking, “Then why does it make you mad when I tell you I would leave Payback? If you don't really care at all, why do you want me here with your side so much that you threat me with hurting Noir? Ben, please be honest with yourself, at least. I know you won't be honest with me.”

You looked at him with desperation, pleading him with your eyes and touched his hand like you could never get that chance again. You didn’t understand what exactly caused his soft side to slip in your hands so suddenly, so sharp. What had happened to you exactly? You knew it wasn’t about Crimson or someone else, but you didn’t know the cause behind why you failed to solve the true reason behind all this pain.

You withdrew your hands just before he pushed them away. When you posed those questions, he seemed so confused and lost that you nearly thought he would finally crack and put a stop to the cruelty between you going on. Since you were aware that he wasn't good at expressing his true feelings from the very beginning, you were willing to push him a little. You would fight for it if you had to be the one to help him overcome his inner demons and open himself.

“I won't be giving a fuck seeing you fucking go away if I find a stronger supe than you,” he simply said.

You answered, “Neither the team nor you need a strong one,” knowing what he was talking about was just another lie. “Ben, you never care who is powerful or not as you know you are strongest. Your ego is too big to care about what other people are capable of.”

“What on earth should I tell you to get off my ass and stop bothering the Countess and me, huh, Y/N?” He inquired, showing no interest in what you had to say. It didn't even seem like he was paying attention to what you were saying. “I'm warning you; don't talk to me about love or other bullshit again.”

He retreated a step, sat on the couch, and sniffed the cocaine on the table before his eyes darkened. When your lips parted to respond, he lifted his hand menacingly, to prevent you from say another thing to make him angrier.

He yelled, “Shut the fuck up,” and started sniffing coke before you did, startling you with his unexpected outburst. “Do you think you know me? Are you fucking naïve?”

You also raised your voice, but it was rather shaky, saying, “I do know you.” You eventually lost patience with his attitude because of how much his persistence was getting on your nerves.

“You’re a fucking naïve then,” he chuckled, but his tone was rather angry than amusing. “Get the fuck out of here and leave me alone.”

You turned away, your eyes watering, and opened the door without saying a word to Ben, fearing that he would become enraged since he was too busy getting high like a real jerk. You heard Countess's voice in the distance. She gave you a tiny smirk to irritate you, as she usually does, but you left the trailer without looking at her and without creating any drama.

After a few weeks, you gave up attempting to get in touch with Ben because you could tell he was preoccupied with all the dumb advertisements and other bullshit. You also stopped participating in anything Payback-related, even though you were still required to perform these things along with the rest of the team. You informed Earving that you were completely well and needed some time for yourself, despite the fact that he had visited your home numerous times to check on you.

But it was a lie. You were either ill or simply lovesick. You had a difficult time falling asleep since you could recall every last detail of Ben and Crimson's interactions. They appeared in every movie, television show, and advertisement. It didn't matter if you simply vanished; you couldn't run away from your own sentiments that were killing you or their reality.

Earving told you that Ben was becoming crueler and harsher to him and the rest of the crew every day, but you couldn't really care because you were most likely going through the worst.

After a month, you were compelled to flee your home due to a terrorist attack, and all of the members required you on the battlefield. Ben was busy commanding the soldiers haphazardly, using heavy and hazardous weapons like toys, and showing off his whole range of abilities to them with an arrogant smile on his face.

He was taken aback to see you because you were the last person to enter the territory. Ben walked up to you with a sneaky smile on his face after he dropped the rifle on one of the twins from his shoulder, but you turned your back on him and continued talking to some soldiers to give him courage because you didn't want to hear what Ben was about to say to distress and upset you any more.

You were desperately missing Ben and were helpless for any kind of interaction or words to rekindle your already fading hope, but you were also proud. You were aware of everything that happened between you, and excepted the turth that the wonderful memories between him and you had long faded. More than anyone you didn't get to know, he was more of a stranger than any stranger. You were certain there was nothing left in you for him to break because he had broken your heart so many times. Struggling to change the past and pushing yourself too hard will only exacerbate your situation. You knew the pain wouldn’t fully disappear soon, but it would ease by time.

He didn't move again once you turned your back to him, indicating that you were right to let it go.

After Ben tormented him more severely than ever on your third day on the battlefield, Noir's patience ran out, and he kept saying Ben that he didn't deserve to be a leader and that he was simply a bully on cocaine. Despite your attempts to dissuade Earving from approaching Ben too closely and to push him back before things got physical, he was adamant about ending Ben's leadership.

“You don’t deserve to be the the leader of Payback. All you do is getting high and bullying all of us. All people here looking at us with hatred, not respect and the reasson behind this all is that we don’t have a respectful leader,” Earving said raising his voice.

Knowing that Ben was pretty nerveous espcially nowadays and fearing he was already ready to hurt anyone in the squad, you pushed Noir by his chest back trying to calm him down. He was right about everything, but it wasn’t the way to solve this mess Ben caused. Besides, no one would stand a chance against Soldier Boy. After all, he was indeed the strongest supe.

“Noir, please calm down,” you whispered him as if no one would hear you. “Don’t do this.”

Your body clenched with terror, knowing that he would be severely wounded by Ben, who was already looking for a small excuse to beat him up. Earving was digging his own grave for sure.

“What’s wrong with you?” Earving suddenly snapped, pushing your hands from him. “Why do you even support him?”

“Violence with get you nowhere,” you said sharply, implying he must stop or he’ll be the one to get hurt.

“And what the fuck will you do about this, huh?” Ben asked with an evil smirk on his face. “You just fucking disrespected me, you fucking weak fuckface. All you do is whining like a newborn baby yet you crave for respect and all shit.”

When you saw Ben make a move to face Earving, you stopped between them to prevent what was to come. Some soldiers were watching you all with curiosity, and some with fear.

“Ben,” you said with a serious tone. “Let’s not make a scene and let others talk behind you. How can they even respect you if you lay a hand on one of us? This won’t be good for your reputation; you know this.”

Instead of taking a step back and pressing his anger down, your effort to save Noir made him see red.

“Will you now fucking defend him against me?” Ben glared at your hands, which were tightly gripping his suit, and said, “Step fucking aside or you'll get hurt first.”

As you take a step back, you realize how you came so close to Ben without recognizing it, despite your repeated assurances to yourself to keep away from him. He had done many things to you lately, but it was the first time he threatened you with such severity.

Just as you are about to react, you hear Crimson approaching Ben.

Placing a touch on Earving's arm, you showed your understanding and concern for him when you noticed him fisting his fists and standing motionless. It was Ben's harsh attitude toward nothing that he got in return for all the respect he deserved, which was all he asked for. Although Earving had been performing rather well up until this point, everyone has their limitations.

“You know, you shouldn't let others treat Soldier Boy disrespectfully,” Crimson said as she gave you one of her venomous glances. “When Black Noir tries to seize control of the team and instigate a revolt, how can people still acknowledge Soldier Boy as the team's strongest supe and leader? How are you even going to support it, Y/N?”

She scowled and remained by Ben's side, uttering more venomous things to incite Ben's hatred of you. Simply because you were aware of Ben's vulnerability to manipulation over his authority, you took a deep breath and declared, “I'm not supporting any of this. Who the hell are you to read Noir's intentions that way?”

Ben raised his finger right up to your face, his eyes were darkened with disappointment. “So, that’s it. You fucking betrayed me for that cocksucker.”

Your eyes burned with fury as the corner of the Countess’ lips curled with satisfaction.

“Are you really talking about betrayal now?” You raised your voice as your hands were in fist now.

Earving felt your hazardous tension with Soldier Boy, and your fury subsided his own anger. You pushed his hands away from you, even though he touched your shoulder to convey his support for you in a gentle way.

You could see how effortlessly the Countess was able to influence Ben; your eyes were burning with pain. You had come to terms with the idea that he couldn't see his actual emotions through them, but it appeared he couldn't see yours either.

He'd pretended to be concerned about you, deceived you, threatened you, and now accused you of betraying him. But the truth was, he was the one who did them. You didn’t know if he was blind or just a coward who couldn’t even face himself.

“You know what?” Ben angrily remarked, “Since you wanted to go away from the team so much, you can fucking leave now. You are free to fucking go.”

With a heavy heart, you murmured, “Fine. Neither do I want to be a part of this.”

Next Chapter

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A/N: I had planned Losing You to be a one-shot story, but it seems it will take a little more chapters to make a final. Comments and reblogs are very appreciated! You can also check masterlist for another multi-chapter Soldier Boy / Reader story called “Protect Me From What I Want” Thank you for reading this! <3

Taglist: @mostlymarvelgirl @xmariakx @spnfamily-j2 @suspicious-stain-in-spain @atomicsoulcollecto @yvonneeeee @starryperson

Let me know if you want to be tagged for this series. <3

#the boys #soldier boy x reader #jensen ackles #soldier boy #the boys series #the boys season 3 #the boys tv #jensen ackles soldier boy #soldier boy the boys #the boys amazon #soldier boy fic #soldier boy fanfiction #soldier boy x you #soldier boy x y/n #soldier boy x female reader #heavy angst #angst #hurtful

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lila-lou · 3 months

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✨ His only exception - Pt. 15/? ✨

Summary: 12 months ago, Butcher went above and beyond to have you join his team. You had a simple office job at Supe Affairs. The same thing every day, working from 9 to 5 and watching Butcher and his team defeat one renegade after another. One evening, however, something changed.

Pairing: Soldier Boy x Reader

Warnings: Language, Violence

Word Count: 6921

A/N: This is part 15 of “His only exeption”.

English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙✨

As the car ride dragged on, you couldn't shake the feeling of dread that hung heavy in the air. Your shoulder throbbed painfully, the blood from your wound seeping through your fingers as you tried to staunch the bleeding.

Frustration and fear boiled inside you, fueling your determination to escape at the first opportunity. So when the SUV finally came to a stop, you wasted no time in making your move.

With a surge of adrenaline, you threw yourself at the two men, unleashing a flurry of punches and kicks in a desperate bid for freedom. But despite your best efforts, they were ready for you, deflecting your blows with ease and retaliating with brutal force.

A sharp blow to the side of your head sent stars exploding behind your eyes, and you stumbled backward, dazed and disoriented. Through the haze of pain, you fought to stay conscious, knowing that your only chance lay in escaping this nightmare.

But it was no use. Another blow landed squarely on your jaw, sending you sprawling to the ground in a haze of agony. As darkness closed in around you, you fought to keep your eyes open, clinging to consciousness with all your strength.

But in the end, it was futile. With one final gasp, you succumbed to the darkness, the world fading away into nothingness as the sounds of the men's cruel laughter echoed in your ears.

As unconsciousness enveloped you, you were vaguely aware of being dragged through the underground car park, the rough ground scraping against your skin as the two men hauled you along. You were lifted, your limbs limp and unresponsive, as they heaved you into an elevator.

As the doors closed with a dull thud, the two men exchanged murmured words, their voices low and filled with an unsettling sense of anticipation.

"Feisty little thing, isn't she?", one of them remarked, a twisted smirk playing on his lips.

The other chuckled in agreement. "I do love a challenge", he replied, his tone dripping with malice.

As the elevator came to a stop on one of the top floors, the doors slid open to reveal a woman standing before them, her posture radiating authority. Ashley.

"What took you so long?", Ashley snapped, her tone sharp and impatient. "I specifically instructed you to bring her here unharmed".

The two men shifted uncomfortably under Ashley's piercing gaze. "We… we tried, but she put up a fight", one of them stammered.

Ashley's expression darkened as she surveyed the scene before her, her gaze narrowing on your unconscious form. "Well, it seems you were a little too rough with her", she remarked icily, her displeasure evident.

The men exchanged uneasy glances, realizing the gravity of their mistake. "We'll make sure she's taken care of", one of them promised hastily, his voice tinged with desperation.

Ashley's lips curled into a cold smile, a glint of satisfaction in her eyes. "See that you do", she replied, her tone dripping with menace. "We can't afford any more complications".

With a dismissive wave of her hand, Ashley turned on her heel and strode away, leaving the two men to deal with the consequences of their actions.

As consciousness slowly returned, you found yourself in a state of disorientation, your senses gradually coming back to you. Blinking groggily, you took in your surroundings: a large, imposing office with polished floors and sleek furnishings.

But as you attempted to move, you realized that something was wrong. Panic surged through you as you discovered that your arms and legs were bound tightly to a chair, leaving you completely immobilized.

With a surge of adrenaline, you began to tug and strain against the restraints, desperation driving you to break free. But no matter how hard you struggled, the bonds held fast, refusing to yield to your efforts.

Frustration bubbled up inside you, boiling over into a stream of curses and expletives as you fought against your confinement. Each tug and pull only served to tighten the restraints further, leaving you trapped and helpless.

"Damn it!", you shouted, your voice echoing off the walls of the empty office. "Let me go, you bastards!".

But your cries fell on deaf ears as you continued to struggle against your bonds, the realization sinking in that escape was impossible.

As your tirade of curses echoed through the room, Ashley approached you with a calm, collected demeanor, her expression betraying no hint of concern or empathy.

"Stop moving, you're only hurting yourself", she stated flatly.

You glared at her, your eyes blazing with defiance as you continued to struggle against your restraints. "Screw you, Ashley", you spat. "Let me go, or I swear I'll—".

But Ashley merely chuckled, cutting you off with a dismissive wave of her hand. "Oh, please. Save your threats for someone who cares", she replied, her voice laced with amusement.

Your frustration reached a boiling point as you unleashed a torrent of insults and curses, each word aimed squarely at Ashley. But she remained unfazed, her chuckles only serving to fuel your anger further.

With a resigned sigh, Ashley shook her head, her lips quirking into a condescending smile. "Feisty, aren't you?", she remarked casually, as if your aggression was nothing more than a minor inconvenience.

You seethed with impotent rage, unable to do anything but glare at her from your bound position.

"What the fuck do you want from me?", you demanded.

"It's not what I want, darling. It's what Homelander wants", she replied smoothly.

Your heart sank at her words, a cold dread settling in the pit of your stomach. "Homelander?", you repeated incredulously, unable to believe what you were hearing. "What does he have to do with this?".

Ashley's lips curved into a sardonic smile. "Oh, nothing much. Just a simple request to… persuade you to see things his way", she explained cryptically.

Your mind raced as you tried to make sense of her words, the pieces of the puzzle slowly falling into place. If Homelander was involved, then this situation was far more dangerous than you had initially realized.

But before you could formulate a response, Ashley began to walk away, her voice trailing behind her with a chilling finality. "Welcome to Vought, darling. I hope you enjoy your stay".

As Ashley disappeared from view, leaving you alone in the empty room, your frustration and anger reached a fever pitch. Cursing loudly, you continued to struggle against your restraints, your skin chafing and burning as the ropes dug into your flesh.

With each futile attempt to break free, the ropes bit deeper into your skin, leaving angry red welts in their wake. But despite the pain, you refused to give up, fueled by a stubborn determination to escape this nightmare at any cost.

Desperation clawed at your insides as you tugged and pulled with all your strength, the metallic taste of blood filling your mouth as the ropes cut deeper into your wrists and ankles. But no matter how hard you tried, the bonds held fast, refusing to yield to your efforts.

Exhausted and defeated, you finally slumped back in the chair, your breath coming in ragged gasps as you stared at the ceiling, feeling utterly powerless and alone.

Frenchie's hands trembled as he dialed your number repeatedly, each attempt met with the same soul-crushing silence. With each failed call, his panic grew, a gnawing sense of dread settling in the pit of his stomach.

As the minutes stretched into agonizing hours, Frenchie's mind raced with a thousand fears and possibilities. What had happened to you? Where were you? Was it too late to help?

Frantically, he searched the apartment for any sign of your whereabouts, his heart pounding with a mixture of fear and frustration. But all he found was silence, broken only by the relentless buzzing of his phone as he continued to call your number.

With each unanswered call, Frenchie felt a sense of helplessness wash over him, a crushing weight that threatened to suffocate him. He had to do something, anything, to find you and bring you back safe.

But as the hours ticked by and his efforts yielded no results, Frenchie realized that he was facing an uphill battle with no end in sight.

With a sinking feeling in his chest, Frenchie dialed Butcher's number. After several rings, Butcher finally picked up, his voice gruff and impatient.

"What is it, Frenchie? I'm in the middle of something", Butcher snapped, his tone no-nonsense as usual.

Frenchie swallowed hard, trying to keep his voice steady despite the rising panic within him. "Butcher, it's urgent. I can't reach (Y/N)", he blurted out, the words tumbling from his lips in a rush.

There was a brief pause on the other end of the line before Butcher responded, his tone grudgingly concerned. "What do you mean you can't reach her? What's going on?", he demanded.

Frenchie quickly explained the situation, recounting how he had been unable to contact you for hours and the growing sense of dread that had consumed him.

Butcher's response was terse, his words clipped and to the point. "Keep trying. I'll see what I can find out from this end", he ordered, his voice leaving no room for argument.

Frenchie nodded, even though Butcher couldn't see him. "Thanks, Butcher", he replied gratefully, his relief evident in his voice.

But as he hung up the phone, Frenchie couldn't shake the feeling of unease that lingered in the air. He knew that time was of the essence, and that he would stop at nothing to find you and bring you back home.

With a sense of urgency, Frenchie continued to try reaching you without success, his heart sinking with each unanswered call. Determined not to give up, he turned his attention to scouring through the camera recordings of the city, hoping to catch a glimpse of you.

After what felt like an eternity of searching, just as he was about to give up hope, his eyes caught sight of a familiar figure in one of the recordings. It was you, being escorted by the two men and the ominous black SUV.

A surge of relief flooded through Frenchie as he quickly scrutinized the footage, committing every detail to memory. As he zoomed in on the license plate of the vehicle, his blood ran cold when he saw the unmistakable emblem of Vought.

Heart pounding, Frenchie wasted no time in dialing Butcher’s number once more, his voice urgent as he relayed the newfound information. “Butcher, I’ve found her. She’s with Vought”, he blurted out, his words rushed with adrenaline.

“Vought? What the bloody hell are they up to now?”, he growled, his frustration evident.

“I don´t know, but we need to act fast”, he insisted.

Butcher’s response was immediate and decisive. “I’ll send the team back. Except Soldier Boy”, he instructed.

Relief washed over Frenchie at the news, grateful for the reinforcements that were on their way. “Alright, Butcher. I’ll be ready for them”, he replied, a sense of resolve in his tone.

But Butcher wasn’t finished yet. “But Frenchie, listen to me”, he continued, his voice taking on a stern edge. “Do not, I repeat, do not go in there alone. Wait for the team to arrive. Understood?”.

Frenchie hesitated for a moment, the urgency of the situation weighing heavily on his mind. But he knew that Butcher was right. “Understood”, he replied reluctantly, knowing that it would take a few hours for the rest of the team to reach him.

Butcher's stern warning echoed in Frenchie's mind as he hung up the phone, a mixture of frustration and determination swirling within him. He knew that going in alone would be reckless, but the thought of you in danger ignited a fierce determination within him.

Taking a deep breath, Frenchie forced himself to focus on the task at hand. He needed to prepare for the arrival of the team and ensure that everything was in place for the rescue mission.

As he gathered supplies and double-checked his plans, the minutes stretched into agonizing hours, each second ticking by like an eternity.

As you struggled against your restraints, the door to the office swung open with a resounding creak, and in stepped Homelander, his presence commanding the room. His hands were clasped behind his back, and a smug smirk played on his lips as he sauntered toward you.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?", Homelander mused, his voice dripping with arrogance as he surveyed you with a mix of amusement and disdain. "Looks like Soldier Boy's little girlfriend got herself into some trouble. Again".

You bristled at his condescending tone, a surge of anger coursing through you despite your helpless situation. "I'm nobody's girlfriend", you retorted defiantly.

Homelander merely chuckled, unfazed by your bravado. "Oh, please. We both know that's not true", he replied dismissively. "But enough small talk. I have some questions for you, and I expect you to answer truthfully".

As he spoke, Homelander circled around you, his gaze piercing as he studied you with unnerving intensity. With each step he took, the sense of dread that had been gnawing at you only intensified, as you realized that you were completely at his mercy.

"Why the hell are you still alive?", Homelander demanded, his voice low and menacing, as he loomed over you.

You met his gaze with defiance, refusing to show any sign of weakness. "Maybe I'm just too stubborn to die", you shot back.

Homelander's eyes narrowed dangerously at your insolence, his patience wearing thin. "Don't play games with me", he growled, his voice tinged with frustration. "How is it that the Compound V didn't kill you, but it also didn't turn you into a supe?".

You remained silent, refusing to give him the satisfaction of an answer. Enraged by your defiance, Homelander's patience snapped. With a swift motion, he raised his hand and delivered a powerful slap across your face.

The force of the blow sent you and the chair crashing to the ground, pain exploding through your skull as your mouth and nose began to bleed. Through the haze of agony, you struggled to maintain consciousness, your vision swimming as you fought to keep your wits about you.

But despite the pain and the fear that threatened to overwhelm you, you refused to back down. Clinging to your defiance like a lifeline, you stared up at Homelander with unyielding resolve, silently daring him to break you.

As you lay sprawled on the ground, blood trickling from your battered face, Homelander towered over you, his expression cold and unyielding.

"Answer me", he demanded, his voice a menacing growl. "How did you survive?".

Gritting your teeth against the pain, you met his gaze. "Wouldn't you like to know?", you spat back, your voice thick with contempt.

Homelander's eyes flashed with fury at your insolence. He grabbed you by the collar of your shirt, hauling you up until you were eye level with him.

"You think you're clever, don't you?", he sneered, his grip tightening on your shirt. "But I'll make you talk, one way or another".

"Good luck with that", you retorted.

With a frustrated growl, Homelander shoved you back to the ground, a cruel smirk twisting his lips. "We'll see about that", he replied ominously, turning to leave the room.

As he disappeared from view, leaving you battered and bruised on the floor, you knew that your ordeal was far from over.

As the hours dragged on, your body bore the cruel marks of Homelander’s relentless interrogation. Bruises blossomed across your skin like dark petals, and blood stained your torn clothing. Every breath came with a sharp pang of pain, and each movement sent waves of agony coursing through your battered frame.

Homelander’s attempts to extract information from you grew increasingly brutal with each passing hour. He wielded violence like a blunt instrument, striking you with merciless force and leaving you gasping for breath, teetering on the brink of unconsciousness.

But despite the physical torment, you remained steadfast in your defiance. With every blow, you gritted your teeth and endured, clinging to the last shreds of your resilience as if it were a lifeline.

Homelander’s frustration simmered beneath the surface, his attempts to break you only fueling his anger. Yet, despite his best efforts, you remained silent, your determination unyielding even in the face of such brutal violence.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity of torment, Homelander paused, his cold gaze lingering on your broken form. You lay on the ground, barely conscious, your breaths shallow and ragged.

“Look at you”, he spat, his tone laced with disgust. “Pathetic. Weak. You’re not even worth the dirt beneath my boots”.

Your body screamed in agony, but you were too exhausted to muster a response. Every breath felt like a struggle, and the pain radiating from every inch of your body threatened to overwhelm you.

With a dismissive scoff, Homelander turned away from you, his attention shifting to the doctors who had entered the room behind him. “Get to work”, he ordered them, his voice cold and authoritative. “Run every test possible. I want to know everything about her, no matter how painful”.

The doctors nodded obediently, their expressions unreadable as they approached you.

As the doctors lifted you from the ground and began to carry you out of the room, Ashley appeared at Homelander's side, her brow furrowed in concern. "What happened to her?", she asked, her voice tinged with curiosity.

Homelander's expression remained impassive as he glanced back at you, lying half-conscious in the doctors' arms. "She didn't want to cooperate", he replied simply, his tone tinged with annoyance.

Ashley's eyes narrowed slightly as she studied you, her curiosity piqued by the sight of your battered form. "She looks half dead", she observed.

Homelander shrugged indifferently, his gaze never leaving your prone figure. "She's tougher than she looks", he remarked dismissively. "But we'll see how long that lasts".

With that, the group disappeared through the doorway, leaving the room empty once more, save for the lingering echo of your labored breaths. As you were carried into the depths of the facility, a sense of dread settled over you, knowing that whatever lay ahead would test your resilience like never before.

Ashley's expression darkened with concern as she listened to Homelander's explanation, her eyes flickering with uncertainty. "Is that such a good idea?", she ventured cautiously, her voice tinged with doubt. "If she's Soldier Boy's girlfriend, won't he come for her sooner or later?".

Homelander's eyes flashed with irritation at the suggestion, his grip tightening on Ashley's throat as he pushed her up against the wall with brutal force. "I don't need your input, Ashley", he hissed, his voice low "I know what I'm doing".

Gasping for breath, Ashley struggled against Homelander's iron grip, her fear palpable in the air between them. "I-I'm just saying…", she stammered, her words choked off by Homelander's unyielding hold.

With a cruel smirk, Homelander leaned in close, his eyes boring into Ashley's with icy intensity. "Do you really think Soldier Boy stands a chance against me?", he taunted. "He's nothing compared to what I am".

As Homelander released his grip on Ashley, she slumped to the ground, gasping for air and rubbing her bruised throat. Trembling, she watched as Homelander strode past her, his expression cold and calculated.

Without sparing her a second glance, Homelander followed the two doctors who were carrying you, his footsteps echoing ominously in the empty hallway. As they entered the lab, the doctors carefully placed you down on a large examination table, your body limp.

Homelander approached the table with an air of authority, his eyes narrowing. "Make sure every test is conducted", he ordered the doctors. "I want to know everything about her, no matter the cost".

The doctors nodded obediently, their expressions grave as they prepared to carry out Homelander's instructions. With a sense of dread weighing heavy in the air, they began their examination, knowing that whatever they discovered could have far-reaching consequences for both you and the world beyond. And as they worked, Homelander watched on with a cold detachment, his mind already plotting his next move in this dangerous game of power and control.

"Tie her up", he ordered.

The doctors exchanged a hesitant glance, their eyes flickering with concern as they looked at your battered and broken body. "But sir, she's already in no condition to resist", one of them ventured tentatively, a note of apprehension in his voice.

Homelander's expression darkened with impatience at their hesitation. "Do it", he snapped. "She may be weak and pathetic, but she'll fight tooth and nail if given the chance. I won't take any risks".

With a resigned nod, the doctors reluctantly set to work, securing your limbs with restraints despite their misgivings. As they tightened the bonds around your wrists and ankles, you stirred slightly, a low groan escaping your lips.

Homelander watched with a cold detachment as they finished their task, his eyes lingering on your bound form with a sense of satisfaction. "Good", he declared. "Now let's see what secrets she's hiding".

With a sense of grim determination, the doctors resumed their examination, knowing that they had little choice but to carry out Homelander's orders.

With clinical precision, they extracted every possible fluid from your broken body, subjecting you to a barrage of painful tests and procedures.

Needles pierced your skin, drawing blood and other bodily fluids as the doctors worked tirelessly to uncover the secrets hidden within you. Each extraction sent waves of agony coursing through your weakened form, but you were bound and helpless, unable to do anything but endure the torment.

Homelander watched with a mixture of fascination and anticipation, his eyes alight with a twisted sense of curiosity as he awaited the results of the tests. With each vial filled with your precious fluids, he grew more impatient, eager to uncover whatever secrets lay buried beneath your battered exterior.

As the hours dragged on, the doctors spared no mercy in their relentless pursuit of knowledge, subjecting you to increasingly painful and invasive procedures. They prodded and probed every inch of your broken body, extracting tissue samples and running tests with a cold efficiency that bordered on cruelty.

Though you could feel yourself slipping further into the abyss with each passing moment, you refused to surrender, clinging to the hope that somehow, someway, you would survive this ordeal.

Meanwhile Frenchie stood anxiously outside the airport, his eyes scanning the arrivals hall for any sign of his teammates. Finally, he spotted them making their way towards him, relief flooding through him as Hughie, MM, Kimiko, and Annie approached.

"About time you guys showed up", Frenchie sighted, opening the door of the car for them.

Kimiko gave Frenchie a quick kiss on the cheek before sliding into the passenger seat, her hands moving gracefully as she signed her concern. "Did you find her?", she signed quietly, her eyes filled with worry.

Frenchie nodded grimly, his hands mirroring her serious expression. "Yeah, but it's not good", he signed back, his movements precise and deliberate. "We need to move fast".

As the car sped towards their destination, Annie leaned forward slightly from the backseat, her expression filled with curiosity. "What could Vought possibly want with her?", she asked, her voice tinged with concern.

Frenchie glanced at her through the rearview mirror, his hands still firmly on the wheel. "I'm not sure, but whatever it is, it can't be good",

Hughie nodded in agreement, his brow furrowed with worry. "Vought's always up to something", he remarked, his voice somber.

With each passing mile, the tension in the car grew thicker, the weight of their mission pressing heavily on their minds.

"Did you find Homelander in Europe?", Frenchie asked.

Hughie shook his head. "No, he wasn't anywhere to be found", he replied, his voice tinged with frustration.

Frenchie's shoulders slumped slightly, a sense of disappointment washing over him. "Damn", he muttered quietly.

MM leaned forward from the backseat, his gaze meeting Frenchie's in the rearview mirror. "Soldier Boy and Butcher are on a hot lead, though", he added.

Frenchie nodded, his mind racing with possibilities. "Does Soldier Boy know about (Y/N) being gone?", he asked carefully, his eyes flickering with concern.

Annie frowned, her brow furrowing with confusion. "I don't think so", she replied, her tone uncertain. "Why?".

Frenchie sighed, his expression grave. "We need to be careful", he warned. "If Soldier Boy finds out, it could escalate things".

Annie's brow furrowed with confusion as she glanced between Frenchie, Hughie, and MM. "But why would Soldier Boy escalate things if he found out she's gone?", she questioned, her voice laced with concern.

MM's brow furrowed as he considered Frenchie's explanation. "I get that he doesn't like being left out, but… I don´t think he would care that much on this one", he remarked.

Frenchie sighed inwardly, wishing he could divulge the full extent of the situation to his teammates. However, knowing the delicate nature of the relationship between you and Soldier Boy, he opted for a vague response. "Soldier Boy's got a temper", he replied vaguely, his tone cryptic.

Hughie leaned forward, his brow furrowed in contemplation. "You know, Soldier Boy probably cares more about taking down Homelander than anything else", he suggested, his voice tinged with conviction.

Frenchie couldn't help but snort at the remark, a flicker of amusement dancing in his eyes. However, he quickly composed himself, realizing the seriousness of the situation. "Maybe", he replied, trying to downplay his reaction. "But let's focus on finding (Y/N) first".

Annie glanced between them, a thoughtful expression on her face. "Either way, we need to be prepared for anything", she added.

A few minutes later, the team arrived at the Vought tower, its sleek exterior towering above them like a monolithic fortress. With cautious determination, they made their way towards a hidden entrance that Annie knew from her time with The Seven.

As they slipped inside, the air was thick with tension, each footstep echoing softly in the empty halls. They moved with silent precision, their senses alert for any sign of danger.

Annie led the way, her eyes scanning the shadows for any lurking threats. "This way", she whispered, her voice barely audible as she guided them through the labyrinthine corridors.

Frenchie and Hughie followed closely behind. "Keep an eye out for security cameras", Frenchie murmured.

As the team stepped into the elevator, Annie couldn't shake the feeling of unease that gnawed at her gut. The ease with which they had infiltrated the building seemed too good to be true.

Her brow furrowed in suspicion as she glanced around at her teammates. "This feels too easy", she remarked quietly, her voice tinged with concern.

Frenchie nodded in agreement, his expression mirroring her unease. "Yeah, something doesn't feel right", he replied.

As the elevator doors slid open, revealing Homelander standing before them with a menacing smirk, the team froze in shock. Their surprise quickly turned to alarm, as the realization dawned on them that their adversary was right in front of them, despite being expected to be halfway across the world.

Homelander's cold gaze swept over the team, his lips curling into a malicious grin. "Look who decided to pay us a visit", he taunted.

"You shouldn't be here", Annie retorted defiantly.

But Homelander just chuckled darkly, his gaze lingering on each member of the team with chilling intensity. "And yet, here I am", he replied, his tone filled with ominous promise. "I suggest you surrender now", he growled, his eyes flashing with lethal intent. "Or things are going to get messy".

The team exchanged tense glances, their hearts pounding with. With a surge of adrenaline, they sprang into action, their movements fluid and coordinated as they launched their attack on Homelander. Annie unleashed a barrage of energy blasts, her powers crackling with raw power as she aimed for her target with precision.

But Homelander was a force to be reckoned with, his reflexes lightning-fast as he effortlessly dodged Annie's attacks. With a flick of his wrist, he knocked her off balance and sending her crashing to the ground.

Frenchie and Hughie rushed forward, their fists flying as they attempted to overpower Homelander with sheer brute force. But the Supe was unfazed, his strength and agility unmatched as he effortlessly blocked their every blow, delivering punishing counterattacks with devastating accuracy.

Meanwhile, MM circled around behind Homelander, his mind racing as he searched for a weakness to exploit. But before he could make a move, Homelander whirled around, his eyes narrowing as he locked onto his target. With a menacing grin, he lunged forward.

The team fought valiantly, their determination unwavering even in the face of overwhelming odds. But no matter how hard they fought, they couldn't seem to gain the upper hand against Homelander's relentless onslaught. With each passing moment, the battle grew more chaotic and intense, until a doctor approached the scene, his expression tense with urgency. "Homelander, she's awake", he announced, his voice quivering with apprehension.

Homelander's eyes narrowed at the news, his attention momentarily diverted from the fight. With a growl of frustration, he turned to a group of nearby guards, his voice booming with authority. "Throw them in a cell", he commanded.

The guards wasted no time in carrying out Homelander's orders, their hands gripping the team firmly as they dragged them away from the chaotic scene.

Meanwhile, Homelander followed the doctor towards the source of the disturbance.

As they approached the room where you were being held, Homelander's pace quickened, a predatory gleam in his eyes.

As Butcher and Soldier Boy pressed forward through the desolate streets of Spain, the weight of their mission heavy on their shoulders. “Why the fuck did the other fuckers bugger off?”, he grumbled, his frustration palpable.

Butcher’s expression darkened at the question, his jaw clenching with tension. “They didn’t bugger off, mate”, he replied tersely, his voice low and gruff. “They went to rescue (Y/N)”.

Ben´s steps faltered at the mention of your name, his heart pounding in his chest. “What do you mean, rescue (Y/N)?”, he demanded.

Butcher’s gaze hardened as he met Ben´s eyes, his words heavy with significance. “Vought took her”, he explained bluntly, his tone leaving no room for doubt.

Ben´s world seemed to come crashing down around him at Butcher's words, his mind reeling with rage. "Vought took her?", he repeated, his voice trembling with anger and disbelief.

Butcher nodded solemnly, his eyes never leaving Soldier Boy's as he confirmed the grim truth. "Aye. And the rest of the team went to get her back", he reiterated, his tone steady despite the intensity of the situation.

A surge of fury surged through Soldier Boy's veins, his temper flaring as he struggled to contain the overwhelming flood of emotions. Without a word, he lunged forward, his hands curling into fists as he shoved Butcher to the ground.

Butcher hit the pavement with a grunt, the impact jolting through his body as he struggled to regain his bearings. He met Soldier Boy's furious gaze with surprise.

Soldier Boy loomed over Butcher, his chest heaving with exertion as he fought to control his rage. "You should've fucking well told me", he seethed, his voice raw with emotion.

Butcher pushed himself up onto his elbows, his expression hardening as he met Soldier Boy’s fiery gaze. “And what good would that have done, eh?”, he shot back, his voice tinged with frustration. “We’ve got bigger bloody priorities now”.

Soldier Boy’s fists clenched at his sides, his jaw tightening. “Fuck off”, he spat, his tone laced with contempt as he turned away.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?”.

Ben didn’t look back as he answered. “I’m fucking going to get her back”.

Butcher quickened his pace to catch up with Soldier Boy. “Listen, mate”, he called out, his voice urgent as he closed the distance between them. “Starlight and the rest of the team, they’ll get her back. We just need to trust them”.

Soldier Boy came to an abrupt halt, his shoulders tense with frustration as he turned to face Butcher. “Trust them?”, he scoffed, his voice dripping with disdain. “They’ll probably just end up fucking it all up”.

Butcher felt a surge of concern as he watched Soldier Boy’s chest start to glow , a silent reminder of the immense power that simmered beneath. “Easy there, mate”, he urged, his voice calm despite the rising tension. “We don’t need any explosions tonight”, he raised both hands.

Soldier Boy gritted his teeth, his frustration bubbling dangerously close to the surface as he struggled to contain his temper.

Ben´s jaw clenched tightly, his eyes flashing with a fierce determination. "I'm flying back, right now".

Butcher hesitated for a moment, weighing the risks of allowing Soldier Boy to act impulsively against the urgency of the situation. Finally, he nodded in reluctant agreement. "Alright", he conceded, his tone tinged with resignation. "Let's get to the airport".

As the team found themselves confined to a dimly lit cell in the depths of the Vought tower, tension hung heavy in the air. Hughie paced back and forth, his frustration evident in every restless step.

"This is bullshit", he muttered under his breath. "We were so close to getting (Y/N) back".

Annie leaned against the cold concrete wall, her arms crossed tightly over her chest as she surveyed their surroundings. "We need to find a way out of here", she stated , her gaze sweeping over the barred door with a steely determination.

MM nodded in agreement, his expression grim as he assessed their options. "Agreed. But we need to be smart about it", he cautioned.

As Homelander loomed over you at the examination table, his presence casting a sinister shadow over the room, you couldn't suppress the shiver of fear that coursed through your battered body. His smirk sent a chill down your spine as he gazed down at you with chilling satisfaction.

With a cruel glint in his eyes, Homelander turned to the doctors standing nearby. "Give her the double dose of pure Compound V", he ordered.

Your heart pounded in your chest as the doctors moved to obey his command, their expressions grim with resignation. As they prepared the syringe, dread washed over you like a tidal wave.

Homelander's gaze never wavered as he turned back to you, his smirk widening into a predatory grin. "This should probably kill you", he taunted, his words echoing with a chilling finality.

As the doctors approached with the syringe filled with Compound V, your muscles tensing in anticipation of the excruciating pain to come. You gritted your teeth, bracing yourself for the inevitable torment.

The doctors injected the double dose of Compound V into your bloodstream, the burning sensation spreading like wildfire through your veins. Agony tore through you, every nerve in your body ablaze with searing pain as the powerful substance coursed through your system.

You cried out in torment, your screams echoing off the sterile walls of the lab as you writhed in agony on the examination table. The world blurred around you, consumed by the white-hot agony that consumed every fiber of your being.

Homelander watched with cold detachment. "Pathetic", he sneered.

As the potent Compound V surged through your veins, the intensity of the pain became unbearable. Your vision blurred, darkness creeping in at the edges as your consciousness slipped away once more

Since you were unconscious, Homelander returned to the team.

His grin widened as he stood in front of the cell. "Well", he taunted. "Do you lot know about your little friend's impressive talents with Compound V?".

The team exchanged wary glances.

Homelander watched the team's expressions. "You see, your friend is pretty much dead", he explained. "But somehow, she still refuses to die".

An eerie silence fell over the room as the weight of Homelander's words settled upon the captive team. Again, they exchanged fearful glances, the gravity of the situation sinking in with each passing moment.

Frenchie´s jaw clenched tightly, his fists balling at his sides as he struggled to contain his rising anger. "What have you done to her?", he demanded.

But Homelander just chuckled. "Oh, nothing that she didn't bring upon herself", he replied casually. "But don't worry, I have big plans for her".

With a cold smirk, Homelander turned and strode away from the cell, leaving the team to grapple with the chilling realization of the danger you were facing.

"We can't just sit here and do nothing", Frenchie declared.

Annie nodded in agreement, her eyes flashing with urgency as she scanned their surroundings for any potential means of escape. "We need to find a way out of here".

Kimiko signed urgently, her movements quick and deliberate as she communicated her assent to the rest of the team. MM nodded solemnly, his expression grave as he prepared himself for the daunting task ahead.

Frenchie let out a heavy sigh, his shoulders slumping with defeat as he glanced around the cell. “But… there’s no way out”, he admitted, his voice tinged with resignation. “These cells are designed to hold in any kind of supe or human, no matter how strong”.

Annie’s brows furrowed with frustration as she considered their predicament. “There has to be something we can do”, she insisted.

Hughie and MM exchanged worried glances, the gravity of their situation sinking in. “We’re screwed”, Hughie muttered.

As you slowly stirred from your slumber, your body aching from the ordeal you had endured, you found yourself greeted by the sight of Homelander looming over you, a cruel smirk playing on his lips

The doctors bustled around you, their movements precise and methodical as they continued to run another battery of tests, their expressions a mix of curiosity and apprehension.

Homelander's patience seemed to wear thin as he observed the proceedings, his frustration simmering beneath the surface. "What's taking so long?", he demanded, his voice sharp with impatience. "I want results, and I want them now".

The lead doctor glanced nervously at Homelander before returning his attention to his work, his hands trembling slightly as he adjusted the instruments. "We're doing everything we can, sir", he assured him, his voice trembling with fear.

But Homelander wasn't satisfied with the response, his temper flaring as he turned his attention back to you. "How is she still alive?", he spat, his voice tinged with disbelief. "She's just a human. That much of Compound V should have killed her by now".

As the hours dragged on, the relentless barrage of tests and procedures continued unabated, each one more invasive and agonizing than the last.

You drifted in and out of consciousness, the pain and exhaustion threatening to overwhelm you with each passing moment. Each time you faded into unconsciousness, you prayed for the sweet release of oblivion, only to be pulled back into the waking nightmare of your reality.

With each cut and incision, you felt your strength waning, your body growing weaker and more fragile with each passing moment. Yet still, you clung to life, your will to survive burning bright even in the face of such relentless torment.

Homelander watched with a mixture of fascination and frustration, his impatience growing with each failed attempt to unlock the secrets hidden within your seemingly ordinary frame. He paced the room restlessly, his eyes never leaving your prone form as he silently urged the doctors to try more drastic measures, unwilling to accept defeat.

With a roar of anger, he lashed out at the nearest piece of equipment, sending it crashing to the ground in a shower of sparks.

The doctors scrambled to appease him, their fear palpable in the air as they desperately tried to placate the enraged supe. But nothing seemed to calm Homelander's fury, his anger consuming him like a raging inferno.

In the midst of the chaos, you remained unconscious, oblivious to the turmoil unfolding around you. Your body lay still and lifeless, the only sign of your struggle the shallow rise and fall of your chest.

With a swift and deadly grace, Soldier Boy materialized behind the doctors, his presence like a shadow in the darkness. Without hesitation, he seized each of them by the heart, ripping the organs from their chests with a sickening crunch before tossing them aside like discarded toys.

As the lifeless bodies crumpled to the ground, Soldier Boy turned to face Homelander, his eyes smoldering with a fierce intensity. “You’ve made a fucking mistake”, he growled.

———————————

A/N: Please let me know what you think.🥰 I can't wait to upload Chapter 16

Part 16

Taglist: @deangirl96, @thatgirljayy, @suckitands33, @deans-spinster-witch@mimaria420@kaz11283@uncle-eggy @jackles010378 @vxnilla-hxrddrugs @meowmeowyoongles @sarahgracej @zemosdarling228 @leila22rogers @mostlymarvelgirl @emily-winchester @blacknoirr @onlyangel-444 @seasonofthenerd @staple-your-mouth

#jensen ackles #soldier boy #soldier boy x female reader #soldier boy x reader #soldier boy x y/n #the boys #billy butcher #the boys hughie #hughie campbell #homelander #homelander x reader #homelander x you #homelander x y/n #angst #hurtful #injury

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afro-hispwriter · 3 months

Text

The French Mistake was a mistake

Dean Winchester/Jensen Ackles x reader

Soulless Sam x reader(brief mention)

Summary- Dean is starting to believe you and him aren't meant to be in any universe

Warnings- 6x15(doesn’t follow it completely), mentions of suicide, mentions of being admitted to a facility, break ups, so much angst, mentions of anna, lisa, and ben, dean is a asshole lowkey(in the situation at least)

Not edited

Sam and Dean burst through the window and landed on a blue mat but before they could stand up someones yelled,

"CUT!" Bells rang, clapping, and whole bunch of talking started. The brothers looked around, Balthazar was gone and that's when the confusion started.

"Great solid fall." Someone slapped Deans ass making him jump.

"Jared, Jensen outstanding. That was just great!" Said a old man in a chair and from behind a kid started speaking nonsense.

"Supernatural, scene one, "Echo." Take one, tail slate. Marker." And closed one of those movie boxes.

"So no angels?" Sam says.

"No angels, I think."

"Should we be killing anybody?"

"I don't think so."

"Running?"

"Where?"

Sam and Dean looked at the group of guys sitting around tv screens all talking. Then one yells "Moving on" and lights start turning on.

"Thats a wrap on Jared and Jensen."

"Who the hell are-?"

It went by quick after that. Dean got dragged up to makeup stations and got the makeup he didn't think he had on him. Sam got dragged into an interview he had no idea how to answer.

They met up again, settling on being sent to another universe where they are actors who play Sam and Dean. They walked out of the building and the sight of Baby gave Dean a huge smile. But he watched a guy throw stuff over it and saw a whole bunch of Baby's.

"Im gonna be sick." Dean says and starts to back away.

"We need Cas." Sam says and Dean tries to do some sort of "prayer" but that was short lived when they spotted the man.

That ended up being fake too. Cas' name in this universe was Misha. Misha? They kept walking around the lot until they saw the trailer that said "J. Ackles."

"Thats fake me." Dean says and pointed at himself.

"Yeah."

"This mist be fake mine." They walked in and Dean was instantly in awe. The fish tank and the freaking helicopter. Dean looked around the trailer and noticed a framed picture on a table. It was of fake him and a woman with brownish red hair. Maybe his sister? But the picture looked a little too intimate to be that.

It made him think of you. You left the team after the showdown with Lucifer. But he couldn't blame you. He hurt you, deeply. From Lisa, all the way too Anna. He really did like you but his connection too Anna was too great. And Lisa, Lisa and him are good. He loves her and he loves Ben. But every once in a while his mind would drift off to you, wondering what you were up too.

It was a dick move. Sam called him out on it, as did Bobby and Ellen.

All this thought of you made him want to see if you were in the universe. Sam was typing away on fake his computer.

"Hey Sammy, I want to check something." Dean says and takes the laptop and plops on the couch. He starts typing in your name.

Y/n L/n Supernatural

Pictures of you popped up, along with a description of your character. And again the bottom in the little box there were drop down choices with answers.

Why did Y/n Carter leave Supernatural?

Why did Dean and Y/n break up?

Do Y/n and Sam get together?

That made Deans eyebrows furrow. Why would you and Sam ever get together? But he immediately groaned. When Sam was still soulless he apparently went to go see you, wherever you were. Because apparently Sam and Bobby were the only one to know where you went. He then proceeded to heavily dropped hints that he slept with you. It had taken everything for Dean not to beat up his soulless baby brother.

Y/n Carter must be your name in this universe. Ironic how fake you and real you share the same first name. He clicked on the option that said why you left the show.

It was released that she left the show due to personal reasons but fans speculate it has something to do with her ex of 7 years Jensen Ackles(who plays Dean Winchester aka her love interest), leaving her and marrying a now former mutual friend, Daneel Harris now Daneel Harris-Ackles.

"Holy shit" Dean mumbled, "Im a dick here too."

"Whats wrong?"

"I looked up Y/n, wanted too know what she was up to. Apparently im an asshole here too." He passed the computer to Sam and he started reading.

“At least you’re aware.” Sam mumbled and Dean shot him a look. “Huh seems like you guys broke up in this universe just after dad died in ours and she left the show around the time our Y/n left us."

"You know where she is and wont tell me." Dean says with a slight glare.

"She doesn't want you too know, and for good reasons." Sam says.

"We need to find a way to get back to our universe." Dean says and looks over at the framed picture of fake him and the woman. It gave him a great unease.

After trying to drive fake Baby. Sam and Dean just settled on getting driven to 'Jared's place as they should say. Fake Sam had a huge house, a freaking mansion. Dean noticed a tanning bed and opened it.

"What am I Dracula?" Sam asks and shakes his head. Dean walked over to the large curtains as he heard animals making noises.

"Dude you have a freaking camal in your backyard."

"It's an alpaca, dumbass." A familiar woman's voice made them whip around. A woman at the top of the stairs, wearing a short black dress.

"Ruby?" Dean looks at the woman is shock and she scoffs.

"Gen, who is it?" The next voice that popped up was so sweet but sounded tired. Another woman appeared behind fake Ruby, dean let his eyes trail over her figure before his breath hitched.

"Y/n." He breathed out and took a step forward. He watched you swallow harshly all the way from where he was. You looked so beautiful, beautiful in every universe it seems.

"G-Gen." you shakily said and grabbed her hand. "You said he wasn't going to be here."

"I know honey, I told a certain someone not to let another certain someone into the house even though I thought I didn't have to worry about it." Fake Ruby said all of that while glaring at Sam which made him shrink back.

"I can't be here." You let her go and start to rush down the stairs.

"Y/n wait let me talk to Jared and I'll take you back to your hotel room."

"Y/n." Dean walked towards you as you made it to the bottom of the stairs. "Hey." It had been more than a year since he last saw you, at least the real you.

"Hey? Thats all you had to say after you admitted me to a fucking psych ward!? Dean took a step back and you took a step forward. "Got me written off the rest of 5?" You shoved your finger into his chest "You didn't even bother to visit me!" You shoved him fully this time.

This must have been what the internet was talking about.

“I-I-.” Dean tried to think of something to say but he was blank.

“Oh now you don’t have anything to say. Nothing about this being good for me, that everything is going to go back to normal after I get it. News flash Jensen, nothing worked. Fuck! WHY DIDNT YOU JUST LET ME DIE?” You screamed and shoved him hard making him almost fall back.

“Okay Y/n honey go wait in the car.” Gen grabbed you by your arms and guided you to the door.

“Fuck you Jensen, I wish I never fucking met you.” Gen opened the door for you and the boys watched fake Ruby watch you go to the car. She took in a deep breath before whipping around to the two boys.

“Seriously Jensen, nothing you couldn’t say anything too her? Do you know what this could do to her?” Dean bit his lip and wiped his eye with the back of his hand. “Crying, you’re crying? Jesus I don’t want to see you talking to her outside of work, you’ve ruined my friend for the rest of her life.”

Dean looked down at his shoes in shame and it felt weird too. This wasn’t his life, so why was it affecting him this much?

“And you.” Fake Ruby looks at Sam. “We’ll talk later.” She walks up to him and wraps a hand around his neck and pulls him down to her lips. He didn’t kiss her back, the shock of the whole thing has Sam stumped. She pulled away and let out a disappointed sigh before walking about of the house.

It was quite for a mom between them.

“Sammy we need to go home now.” Dean says, it was so quite Sam almost didn’t catch it. He didn’t sound like Dean.

“Dean, you okay?” He watched his brother bring bath hands up and wipe his eyes before turning around.

“Im going too stop asking you about her from now on.” He says and Sam cocks his head.

“About Y/n? Dean what’s happening in this universe, is nothing compared to what was happening back home.”

“No you don’t understand! This just proved that me and Y/n don’t work, in any universe.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes I do. Fake me left her first another woman after 7 years Sammy. And I left her for a woman who ended up wanting to ruin us. And them I didn’t even try to go after her after you disappeared, like you told me too. Im fucked up Sam, its better this way for her.”

“Dean don’t say that-.”

“Sammy please, let’s just find a way back.”

A/n- if people want it, planning on making more about dean x reader, but the Jensen situation in this one… there is no coming back from that kinf of situation. so no. But I have a big plan for Deans, I really hope people want more and want too know about it😁Feedback appreciated, I will love you forever

#dean winchester x reader #dean winchester #supernatural #sam winchester #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles

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cheynovak · 22 days

Text

Sugar - Part 6

Soldier boy x F/ reader (Y/N)

Warnings: age difference, anger, hurst, angst

Side note: English isn’t my first language. First time no smut in the sugar series... Don't worry I'll make it up in the next chapter

*Does not follow The Boys storyline *

The engine purred softly, a steady, calming sound as Y/N sat beside Ben in the passenger seat. The sun was shining bright, casting a golden hue over the world outside, and for a moment, she allowed herself to get lost in the beauty of it. It had been a long day yesterday, filled with the usual anxiety that came with introducing someone new to her parents.

Ben had been charming and polite, just as she knew he would be, but her thoughts kept drifting back to the conversation she had with her mother this morning.

"Y/N," her mother had said in the kitchen after breakfast, her eyes filled with curiosity and concern, "So, what exactly is going on between you and Ben? Did it change into something different than, you know...?"

Y/N had paused, taking a moment to choose her words carefully. "Don't expect a relationship, Mom. I... I still don't know what Ben wants, but I know he doesn't want attachment. Doesn’t mean he isn’t a good man."

“I still don’t understand why you gave up your relationship, your future for something... you know money. But it’s your life sweety, as long as your happy.”

Y/N took a deep breath “He’s just very clear about traditional relationships.” Her mother looked at her, knowing it did her more than she would ever admit. “What about you, Y/N?” She smiled soft “I’m just glad to have him in my life.”

She hadn't noticed Ben standing just outside the kitchen door, his face shadowed with a look of hurt that he quickly masked before joining them. “Ready to go?” he asked. Ben hadn't mentioned what he heard, and she had been too preoccupied to realize he might have overheard.

Now, sitting beside him, the weight of that unspoken moment pressed down on her. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. His profile was illuminated by the sunlight, and he looked calm, as if the yesterday hadn't fazed him at all. But Y/N knew better. She knew there was more behind his silence, more than he was willing to show.

"Yesterday was nice," she said, breaking the silence. "Thank you for coming with me." Ben turned to look at her, a small smile playing at his lips. She answered his smile with her own, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

Ben noticed her sad eyes and parked the car on the side of the road, Y/N looked confused. “I heard what you said to your mom this morning." Her breath caught in her throat, and she turned to face him fully. "You did?" He nodded, his eyes never leaving hers. "Yeah, I did."

"I'm sorry," she blurted out, the words spilling out before he could stop them. "I didn't mean to... I just didn't know what to say, because I didn't want to put any pressure on you."

He was quiet for a moment, his eyes searching hers. "Y/N, I get it. I really do. And you're right, I don’t want anything traditional. But I want you to know that I'm here because I want to be.” Her heart skipped a beat, hope blooming in her chest.

Ben smiled, a real, genuine smile. Y/N felt a mix of emotions swirling inside her. She was happy to hear Ben's reassuring words, to feel his warm hand on her thigh, and to know that he wasn’t going anywhere.

But there was also a lingering sadness, a small ache in her heart as she wondered why he didn't tell her exactly what he wanted. Was it because he wanted to go back to how it was before?

No, she knew he wanted her. He had made that clear before, in the way he looked at her, in the way he touched her, and in the moments they had shared, it all had changed since the beginning. He was softer and she had declined his money in hope he noticed the change too.

She hoped he wanted her the way she wanted him, not just as a companion or a friend, but as someone to build something with. She wanted to know if he saw a future with her, if he envisioned a life together, if he loved her the way she was beginning to realize she loved him.

Seeing him at the dinner table with her parents, making love, it all fell into place. She knew she wanted him by her side. "Ben," she said softly, turning to face him again, "can I ask you something?"

"Of course," he replied, his eyes gentle and attentive.

"What do you want from us? From... this?" She gestured between them, her voice barely above a whisper. "I know you care about me, and I care about you too. But I need to know if we're on the same page."

He took a deep breath, his expression hardening. I can't give you... I can’t say what you want to hear," he said, his tone sharp and distant. His bluntness hit her like a punch to the gut, her breath catching in her throat. “Oh-ok.” her voice trembling.

Her heart clenched painfully, tears welling up in her eyes. "So, what are we doing then?” Ben looked away, his jaw tightening. "What we’ve been doing, it's just good for now." The words cut deep, and Y/N felt a wave of sadness and disappointment wash over her.

"Just good for now..." she echoed, feeling her heart break a little more with each passing second.

He turned back to her, his eyes conflicted but his expression still guarded. "I don't want to hurt you, but I can't lie to you either. I can't give you more than this.” She pulled away from him, wrapping her arms around herself as if to shield her heart from further pain.

"I do care about you," he said, his voice softer now, but still holding back. The sun’s beauty was lost on her now, the golden light doing nothing to warm the chill that had settled in her heart. "I need more than that, Ben," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "I know. I can't give you that right now. Maybe... maybe you deserve someone who can."

She looked down, her tears spilling over and falling onto her lap. "Maybe I do," she said quietly, her heart breaking. The silence between them was heavy, filled with unspoken words and shattered while they made their way home.

Ben's hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles white with tension. He kept glancing over at Y/N, but she stared straight out of her window, her face a mask of sadness and resignation.

When they finally pulled up outside her building, Y/N didn't wait for him to say anything. She unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the door, stepping out into the cool evening air. "Goodnight, Ben," she said quietly, her voice devoid of its usual warmth.

"Y/N, wait," he called after her, but she was already walking away, her shoulders hunched against the pain she was feeling. Ben watched her go, feeling a deep sense of regret and conflict.

He knew he had broken her heart, and the weight of that knowledge was almost too much to bear. He wanted to run after her, to tell her that he did want her, that he wanted a future with her. But the fear of not being able to live up to her needs, of failing her, held him back.

As she reached the entrance of her apartment building, she turned around one last time, her eyes meeting his as he stood by the car. In that moment, he saw the raw hurt and disappointment she was feeling, and it cut him to the core.

"Y/N," he started, taking a step towards her. She shook her head, a single tear slipping down her cheek. “Please don’t.” and then she was gone, disappearing into the building.

Ben stood there for a long moment, his heart aching with the weight of his indecision. He wanted to chase after her, to hold her and tell her everything she wanted to hear. But the fear of not being enough, of not being able to meet her needs, kept him rooted to the spot.

He finally got back into his car, his mind a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. As he drove away, the image of her tear-streaked face haunted him. Once home, Ben sat in the darkness of his living room, the silence pressing in on him.

He replayed the moment in his mind, over and over, until he couldn't stand it any longer.

The week that followed was one of the longest Ben had ever experienced. Each day dragged on, filled with an emptiness that gnawed at him. He knew he should call Y/N, should try to make things right, but his stubbornness and fear kept him from picking up the phone.

He was afraid of facing the emotions he had stirred up, both in himself and in her. One afternoon, unable to stand the silence any longer, Ben decided to go to Y/N’s college. He had never been there before, but he needed to see her.

As he walked through the bustling halls, he finally spotted her in the courtyard, surrounded by students.

She was in the middle of a lively conversation, her face lit up with a smile as she spoke with a young man. The sight of her laughing and looking so at ease sent a sharp pang of jealousy through Ben. He stood there, rooted to the spot, watching as the young man leaned in closer to say something, causing Y/N to laugh even harder.

Unable to contain his emotions, Ben strode over to her, his expression dark and brooding. Y/N noticed him approaching and excused herself from the group, walking over to meet him halfway.

"Ben, what are you doing here?" she asked, surprise evident in her voice.

He didn’t respond to her question. Instead, his jealousy and frustration boiled over, and he lashed out. "Who was that?" he demanded, his voice harsher than he intended. "Why are you flirting with him?"

Her eyes widened in shock, and she took a step back. "What? No, Ben, he's just a friend. We were talking about a job opportunity at his fathers shop." The students nearby, sensing the tension, began to whisper among themselves, wondering who the older man was and why she seemed so upset.

Ben ignored the curious glances and stepped closer to Y/N, his anger not yet spent. "A job opportunity? It didn't look like that to me. You seemed pretty cozy with him or is that it? Find someone new that quick huh."

Y/N's shock turned to anger, and she crossed her arms over her chest. "You don’t get to come here and accuse me of things, Ben. Especially after a week of silence. You don't get to do this."

He couldn't help but let his emotions get the better of him. "How can I trust you when you're surrounded by people like him?" Ben blurted out, his voice rising again.

Y/N's eyes flared with anger. "Ben, stop! This is ridiculous. You're making a scene."- "I don’t care!" Ben shouted, the frustration and fear bubbling over. "You need to understand how it looks!"

Y/N took a step back, her face flushing with both anger and embarrassment. "How it looks? Do you hear yourself? This is my education, my life! You don’t get to come in here and act like this. I have a life besides you!"

Ben’s expression hardened. "Well, maybe you should find someone else to pay for your school then. Maybe your friend over there is willing to pay you, or maybe his daddy dearest will.”

The words hung in the air like a toxic cloud, and Y/N's face went pale. Around them, the students who hadn't yet left the courtyard stopped and stared, whispers spreading like wildfire.

"Ben," Y/N said, her voice trembling with a mix of fury and hurt, "Leave. Now." Ben's eyes widened as he realized what he had just implied, but before he could say anything, Y/N turned on her heel and marched away, her back rigid with anger.

He stood there, stunned, as the gravity of his words hit him. He had meant it as a low blow in his frustration, but the damage was done. The students who overheard were already piecing together their own version of events, and rumours began to circulate.

The next few days were a nightmare for Y/N. Everywhere she went, she felt the eyes of her peers on her, heard the hushed whispers following her down the hallways. Guy coming up at her asking what they can get for 50 bucks.

"Did you hear what he said?"

"Is he really paying her way like that?"

"I can't believe it. She seemed so nice."

Y/N tried to ignore the gossip, focusing on her classes and her work, but the constant buzz was wearing her down. Her professors noticed the change in her, and one even pulled her aside to ask if everything was okay. She managed to put on a brave face, but inside, she was crumbling.

One afternoon, as she was heading to the library, she was confronted by the young man Ben had seen her with. He looked genuinely concerned. "Y/N, can we talk?" he asked, his voice gentle.

She sighed, nodding reluctantly. "Sure, what’s up.” "I heard what happened," he said, keeping his voice low. "People are saying some awful things, and I know they're not true. I just wanted to check if you were okay."

Y/N felt tears prickling at the corners of her eyes but blinked them back. "Thank you.” You shouldn't have to deal with this alone. Is there anything I can do to help?" She shook her head. "I appreciate it, but I need to handle this myself."

As he walked away, Y/N's phone buzzed with a missed call. It was from Ben. Her fingers hovered over the screen, but she couldn't bring herself to reply. Not yet. The wound was too fresh, the hurt too deep.

That evening, Ben sat in his apartment, staring at his phone, hoping for a response that never came. He knew he had crossed a line, and the realization of what he had done was eating him alive.

Unable to sit still, he grabbed his jacket and headed out, his mind racing. He found himself outside Y/N's apartment, seeing the lights were out in her apartment. He sat on the steps, waiting, hoping she would come home soon so he could at least see her, apologize, try to make things right.

When she finally arrived, she stopped short at the sight of him. Her face hardened, and she walked past him without a word. "Y/N," he called after her, standing up. "I need to talk to you." She turned around, her eyes blazing. "You've done enough, Ben. Just go home."

He took a step towards her holding her arm. “Listen to me.” Her eyes locked on to his, ice cold. "No" she snapped. "Do you have any idea what you've done to me.” Ben opened his mouth to respond, but she cut him off. "No, Ben. We're done. You need to leave me alone. I can't deal with this anymore."

“Y/N” He could barely say her name.

Her eyes teared. “I thought this whole macho toxic persona was just a wall you build up. I would have done anything for you! But to belittle me like this, to embarrass me in the middle of a courtyard full of people when I don’t react the way you want me to, when I need time to deal with my emotions, is where I draw the line.”

She took a deep breath,

“I’m done, Ben.”

Let me know what you think, feel free to like, share or comment. Make sure you check out my masterlist.

Tag list: -> If you want to be added just let me know what you like to read. @syrma-sensei @suckitands33 @mostlymarvelgirl @globetrotter28 @jackles010378 @hobby27 @call-me-mrs-winchester @yvonneeeee

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