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#i actually drew this like a year ago but am just now posting it lol
royallyprincesslilly · 9 months
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Title: Message My Heart {One Shot}
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Lewis Hamilton x Famous Reader
Warning: Cursing, Heavy Angst, Some Fluff, PLENTY OF WORDS,
Words: 8.2k
Summary: You are a famous and jaded singer. You’ve closed yourself off from others and even experiences. However, one unexpected comment changes everything.
Note: Let's pretend we all can't recognize or man in .2 seconds from a super pixelated shot of his forehead alone. Let's pretend that we never followed this man a day in our lives. LOL
As always, thank you for reading! I appreciate it!
If you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!!
***NOT Edited/Proofread***
~~~~~~~~
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You'd posted this on a whim, as a joke and nothing serious. It was a night you should have been kept away from your socials, a night of heavy drinking, illicit smoke passing your lips, and hours and hours of dancing until your legs were sore and the bottoms of your feet were numb. A night of laughs, tears, anger, and joy. A night all in the hopes of forgetting the loneliness of your existence.
Though you were never alone you always felt it. You were always surrounded by at least 10 people at any given time, always having someone snap your picture, scream your name, begging for an autograph, for you to smile, for you to pose this and that way, for a moment of your time, your voice, your heart, your life.
It was exhausting always being on display like you were 24/7 entertainment and not a person. Everyone believed you belonged to them and hence you had no right to privacy, no right to be human or left alone. Everything was always so intense and fast-paced, so sexualized and impersonal. You guessed it was the price to pay for the life you chose because of the vocal talent you possessed and oftentimes you believed you had no right to complain because you had chosen this, though you had no idea what this really was all those years ago.
You groaned, wrapped your fur blanket around your naked figure then took a heady sip of your mimosa. Then you scrolled through the comments underneath your post. You rolled past comment after comment of men giving you their sexual fantasies which ranged from mild to very depraved. You were beyond shocked that people would actually speak filth like this on social media for the world to see and not feel shame.
As you scrolled, you also noted how most of those sexual fantasies were deleted. That told you that your social media team was on it and doing the job they were paid handsomely for.
Your ringing phone drew your attention and without looking you knew it was your manager. You sighed then answered.
"Yeah."
"What were you thinking posting that? What did you think would happen?"
"I wasn't thinking."
"Damn right you weren't. The ways that statement could be taken."
"It's not like it was meant the way it was taken! Look I am not going to apologize for the depravity and lewdness of most of the male population. I will not take responsibility for that, nor do I deserve you calling me to belittle me about it."
With that, you ended the call. He was on thinner ice than he'd ever been before. You were ready to fire his ass before but now you were past ready. Your anger tried to overtake you but you recited the mantra you'd learned from your Balinese getaway where had a strong spiritual awakening that made you confront just how bad a shape you were in.
It took 7 repetitions but at the end of them, you felt more rooted in your strength. You continued scrolling rolling your eyes at comments that were weird or cringe then your finger hovered over the screen as a particular comment caught your eye.
Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Take you away from everyone who makes those beautiful eyes empty and sad so I can gently caress and love away the pain that shines through wrapped around the lyrics of every slow song you put out that your voice so hauntingly expresses to the world. I would just simply love you for all you are that you hide from the world and all you wish to be that you fear you can never be.
For a very long time, you sat there staring at the words in a complete daze. You sat there so long that you actually forgot to breathe. When your chest burned and your head got light, you gasped filling your lungs. You then read the comment again.
Holy shit, you thought.
Who was this person? So many things raced through your mind. Was this just some random person, some random response? Did they know you? How was everything he said so on point? They'd seen through your eyes. Heard the pain. Slowly you began hyperventilating but quickly you got yourself under control. Who was this?
You clicked their name but found their account on private. You contemplated messaging them but quickly decided against it. It was stupid to do.
So you went about your day fulfilling your obligations and doing everything you normally would. Smiled for the cameras, posed for pictures, signed endless autographs, chatted with fans, kept everything PC, shook hands, and gave the people what they so thought they were owed. Every bit of yourself.
However, as your day progressed and winded down you couldn't stop thinking about the comment, and the more you thought about it, the more your curiosity increased. So by the time you were on your way home for the night, you went back on social and sent a follow request before you chickened out, then closed the app.
Though you tried to forget it, you didn't. So as you ate dinner, watched TV, showered, did a little work then wrote some lyrics you had it in the back of your head. When you checked it you couldn't help but smile as you found your request had been approved. However not much was posted in the way of a face. There were plenty of animal pictures, landscapes, and abstract things but nothing to tell you who this person was.
So with nothing to quell your curiosity, you backed off of their page ready to close the app all together when a red '1' appeared indicating you'd received a message. It took all of 5 seconds for you to open it.
Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Didn't imagine this would be the end of my day when I started it.
You smiled. Hell neither did you.
You: Me neither.
Blessedbeyondmeasure44: To what do I owe the pleasure?
You thought about your possible response. You couldn't just tell the truth...could you? After some minutes you bit the bullet.
You: Why did you comment that?
You watched the three dots appear and disappear 5 times as you anxiously waited for their reply. You imagined all the things they could say, all the ways you'd possibly misread the situation and made a wrong decision. Just when you thought you couldn't take it anymore, came a lengthy response.
Blessedbeyondmeasure44: I was just being honest and some more honesty would be that I've been following you for a long time and been a fan for about the same time and there is something about you. Something ethereal, something poetic and hypnotizing.
You: Ah. Another fan of my looks. Okay. I get it.
Blessedbeyondmeasure44: This has nothing to do with your looks and everything to do with your aura. To be truthful I am convinced you look 1000 times better without the layers of makeup and lashes. It cheapens your beauty. The glow around you has changed over the years. It began beautiful and golden and has morphed into copper, then rust, now it is barely visible and just a shimmery black as if you are a former shell of who you were.
Talk about a stab in the gut. You read their words over and over and thought back to something the Dali said in Bali. It was something similar, something just as profound. A shiver rushed through you producing goosebumps along your flesh.
Blessedbeyondmeasure44: I posted that comment because I saw you and wanted you to know it. I wanted you to know that while the world wants something--everything from you I want nothing but to give something to you.
The tears in your eyes made your lids heavy. You fought the inevitable struggling to keep them at bay.
You: And what's that?
The reply was lightning quick as if he knew you'd ask.
Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Safety and love.
That was it. That was all it took for your bottom lid to give up and release the floodgates. Your tears cascaded down your cheeks and they didn't stop for long minutes that turned into hours until you'd cried yourself to sleep.
~~~~~
-12 Weeks Later-
A stranger's kind words to a random drunken post ended up being a gift from the universe. Every time you talked which was every day now he put you at ease. It was like having the worst case of poison ivy that nothing soothed but that one salve you decided to try on a whim. He was that salve and every time you spoke his effect was one that mystified you.
Your moods improved, intrusive thoughts decreased, and depression staved off. Hell, even your outlook had changed. Once everything was bleak. You saw the worst in everyone and everything. You were Ms. Pessimistic always with the defensive wall because you expected everyone you encountered to be trash. Now, that outlook had changed and because of the chance you were giving him and him not fumbling it was slowly changing your mind about people.
When you asked him what his motives were, he simply said to be your friend because you looked like you needed one of those more than someone to tell you how beautiful you are or break your back. That answer floored you. Never had you had a man who wanted to be your friend as opposed to something else--something more.
So friends was what you became. He became one of your biggest supporters always cheerleading you on through social media. He was the ever-present positivity your negative mind craved. His light and vibe were contagious and soon they'd infiltrated your whole outlook. He even got you into jogging, which you hated. Every morning at the ass crack of dawn you were jogging together sending snapshots of the view you were zipping by, short text messages throughout, and even voice messages.
You often decompressed together either watching a movie, playing against one another on gaming platforms, or just doing the same activities in your own towns. Through it all, you still didn't know what he looked like still didn't know who he really was and though you were curious, you also were afraid to rock the boat.
When your friends found out about him they often badgered you into figuring out who he was. They even offered to do a deep dive investigation on social to figure it out. You knew they could crack the case in a few hours but again the fear told you not to.
"What are you afraid of?"
It was a good question that one of your best friends, Alaana, asked as you sat with both of them in your theater room watching the latest release on Netflix. Twiddling your fingers, you avoided her eyes.
"Do you think he's a perv?"
Your other friend, Takia, gasped as she shot upright. "That he's a catfish?"
"Who is he catfishing as? She doesn't even know who he is let alone if he looks like who he says he is," Alaana pointed out.
"So what is it? Afraid he's butt ugly?"
The two cackled together as if they were the best stand-up comedians alive while you gave them your best unamused expression.
"Just tell us," Alaana whined.
"Rocking the boat."
They stared at you in confusion which made you even more frustrated. With a kiss of your teeth and a sigh you continued.
"Disillusionment. What if finding out who he is or what he looks like rocks the boat and destabilizes everything? What if things change and not for the better? Like I have no idea how this man I know nothing about was able to--"
"Bring back the Y/N before you got famous and jaded?"
The three of you nodded and sat there in silence for a few moments as if giving that silence to your former self as a show of sorrowful recognition.
"He hasn't even done anything. He's just been...there."
"The universe usually brings us what we need at the time we need it. What if he is what you need?"
"I've thought about that the last few weeks. I don't know how but somehow the way I think of him has changed. I daydream about him and get giddy when I think of him. I don't remember this with anyone else and it's weird because I don’t know him in the slightest."
"You like him," Takia accused.
"I don't know him."
"Girl, please. You've been talking to this man every day for the last 3 months. Every day. You know his routine, know his likes, dislikes, and dreams. You know him so just take the next step. Maybe you guys can make things work past friends. His first initial message to you was that he would love away the pain and love all you are that you hide from the world and all you wish to be that you fear you can never be."
Hearing his earliest words spoken made goosebumps skirt across your skin. They still affected you, still made you weak.
"No lie at first I thought it was creepy but seeing how pure and innocent it has turned it doesn't make me cringe anymore. I think at least find out who he is then decide."
"What if he's some normal guy who is like a doctor or teacher?"
"Would that make you think twice?"
"Normal people don't do well in this world. It's hard to understand and adjust to."
"Or maybe he is in this world."
"Making anything work in this world sucks especially if they are already in it."
"Which is the more appealing one?"
Just then your notifications went off. Checking it, you found a new message from him.
Blessedbeyondmeasure44: I'm sorry I'm on a business trip and it has been a crazy day. I'm all yours now. How are you?
You smiled and typed out a reply.
You: No need for sorries. I can't expect to have you all to myself 24/7
Blessedbeyondmeasure44: And why not? It's nothing short of what you deserve.
Lite fluttering butterflies took over your stomach making you burrow deeper into the couch.
You: So are you saying if I want you 24/7 then you're mine?
Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Even if you don’t want me I’m yours.
"Oh my god," Alaana squealed.
Glancing back, you found Alaana peeping over your right shoulder and Takia over your left. Both had literal heart eyes.
"Ask for a picture," Takia badgered.
"Tell him you'll send one too," Alaana backed up.
Shaking your head, you chewed your bottom lip trying to stick to your guns though the curiosity was killing you. Just then, another message came through.
Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Scared you off?
You chewed more intently on your bottom lip as you thought over his words. You weren't scared in the slightest.
You: It takes more than that to scare me.
Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Good to know. So the real question is, could you--would you want me?
Seconds later, an image came through and you sat there dazed staring into the most beautiful pair of brown eyes you'd ever seen.
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"Wooooow," Alaana and Takia said in unison.
"That there is a beautiful man," Takia added.
She was right. Though you could only see his eyes you could see that they were kind eyes and kind eyes said a lot about someone. It had been a long time since you'd looked into a pair of kind eyes and now faced with his, you wanted nothing more than to stare into them for the foreseeable future.
"Holy Shit," you exclaimed.
"Right. Girl, I can tell he fine. I can tell these things. You can see it in the nose bridge. That's a nose bridge of a fine piece of man," Alaana said.
"The nose bridge? Come on Lana, I would have said the eyebrows and the lashes. Like, did he go to the lash bar or something? I'm jealous," Takia added.
You heard them but nothing was registering. His eyes held you captivated.
Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Take your time. I'll wait.
And wait he did. Your friends booed you for not answering with a resounding "hell yeah", but you didn't let it phase you. Tucking your phone away, you tried your best to focus on the rest of the movie while ignoring the big elephant trunk sticking out of your phone as if to remind you what was happening in it. You didn't need the reminder. Your mind was already thinking and overthinking the exchange.
By the time your friends had gone to sleep it was almost 2 in the morning and no matter how you tried, sleep evaded you. So with your phone in hand, a bottle of wine in the other you trekked to the pool and set yourself up. It took less than 5 minutes for you to end up back on your messages. 6 hours had gone by since his last message. 6 hours you'd left him on read. 6 hours you'd thought about his words. You pressed the audio record button then sighed.
"Even before you sent that picture...I could and would want you."
Your finger hovered over the send button and it was fear again that stood in your way. So as you did 12 weeks ago, you took a deep breath, closed your eyes, and pressed send. After, you dropped your phone on the lounger, grabbed the bottle of wine, and took a hearty gulp of the sweet red liquid. This brand had a higher alcohol content than most of your whites which meant it would be the best 'no thinking' wine for you. It would make it easy to relax and just exist in the moment. You leaned back and gazed into the sky. You were far enough away from the lights and glitz of the city that you could see the stars and tonight you were glad for it.
Releasing a sigh of contentment, you realized it had been years since you felt this calm. It was easy to get lost in the view which is what you did. By the time your notifications went off again, you'd had half the bottle of wine. It was a voice message.
His normally deep voice was even deeper now. He sounded as if he'd just woken up or was very intoxicated and in the mood for nothing but sin. You pressed your knees together as a sensation you hadn't felt in years washed over you--desire. Who in the fuck was this man to have this power, you wondered incredulously.
"Wow. I honestly didn't expect you to reply. I'm pleasantly surprised."
Smiling you took another mouthful of wine.
"Sorry it took so long."
"It's all good. No need to apologize. I understand you better than you think."
"How exactly? You've never met me."
"I actually did, once. It was in passing and I guess I didn't make an impression so..."
Your eyes bugged as you wracked your brain trying to figure out if you'd seen his eyes before. There was no way you'd forget eyes like those.
"Trying to think over all the people you've met through your life to see if you remember me?"
He sounded amused.
"I was trying to figure out how I could not remember eyes like yours. Since I don't think it's possible I'm going to say you're full of shit."
The recording that came next put the biggest smile on your face and set those butterflies flapping again. His laugh was a thing for masturbation.
"Real talk though."
"So safe to say you're not a teacher or CEO of some major company."
"Ha, no not a teacher. As for a CEO of some major company...that's pretty accurate."
You continued to think over who he could possibly be but nothing was sticking. The only thing that was sticking was more and more curiosity and confusion.
Blessedbeyondmeasure44: As I said before. You'll know when you're ready and when you are ready...really ready for me I will be there.
You stared at his words. They were words he’d sent before. Words he'd patiently abided by. Words he apparently meant. Your heart in your chest purred as of it were blissfully soothed and content. Staring back up at the stars you gaped in wonderment.
"Wow."
~~~~~~~
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-4 Weeks Later-
You: I'm ready.
You stared at the message you'd sent 30 minutes ago. You couldn't believe you'd mustered up the courage to send it let alone actually meant it. In the last 16 weeks, there had been more than enough things that were working for him than against him. He was kind, funny, patient, funny, gentle, honest, gracious, spoke of his faith in things in such a way that instilled faith in you. You'd gone from not seeing the point in continuing if emptiness was all that awaited you to wanting the next day to come so you could experience new things through and with him.
Takia asked you a week ago if you'd fallen in love with him and though you were apprehensive to give her any response your heart lurched and thudded even more strongly within your chest. Since then, you'd thought even more about meeting him.
Today you woke with a stronger desire to meet him, touch his skin and see if he smelled how you imagined, like vanilla, cedar, spiced and fragrant musk, an open field of lavender, and lemon thyme and ripe citrus. You just wanted to be in the same room to see if you were romanticizing a stranger for his kind words or if there was really something there.
"You'll be late if we don't leave now," your new manager Iyla said.
Since firing your old manager and having Iyla come in who was always in his shadow because of how obnoxious he was you'd felt better and better about your career. She'd really stepped up in the past few weeks and showed you what you already suspected, that she was good at what she did and was a much better fit for you.
Once you were out of the hotel and in your car on your way to the venue you were set to perform at, you harmonized your new song trying to make sure you had everything right. It was partly because of how much of a perfectionist you were but also to distract yourself from the silence on his end from your message.
You tried not to think that he'd seen it and left you on read or that he was not on the same page as you anymore or that he'd changed his mind about you. There were so many thoughts and possibilities running through your head that work was the only way to quiet them.
20 minutes later you arrived at the Versace show where you were going to perform. This would be a first where live music was used for the models to walk the runway rather than backtrack. When Donatella had approached you with the idea you leaped at the chance. Half of your closet was filled with Versace so there was no way you'd pass this up.
"This is so iconic," Iyla said as she readjusted your altered vintage Versace dress. The material fit you like a glove and accentuated all your striking features.
"You will be the first ever to perform at a Versace show, hell any show that isn't the VS shows. You are about to break into another layer of this atmosphere, forget the stratosphere," Iyla said with a wide smile.
There was something about her that always made you comfortable. Her vibe always gave off excited and caring big sister and you loved that.
"Are you nervous?"
You wiggled your hand to show her how in the middle of the fence you were.
"Don't be. You look amazing and we already know your voice is sublime. Talk about an Indica trip."
You smiled already feeling calmer. As you walked the black and gold carpet you smiled for the cameras and did a few interviews. Overall everyone was looking forward to the performance and the show. Across the way, you heard a commotion. The photographers went into a tizzy and fans that were mingled together across the street looking on screamed. It sounded like a K-pop concert instead of a fashion show. People loved fashion but they didn't get this crazy for it.
Carning your neck you tried to see what the fuss was all about and instead saw fans losing their ever-loving shit.
"Oh my god, it's Lewis Hamilton," one screamed.
You'd heard the name plenty of times but you'd never paid much attention. All you knew was he was British and did some kind of sport. You watched on as he stepped up on the carpet and posed in his all-black outfit. You watched on for a few moments curious as to what all the hype was. He was too far away for you to make out much of his features but from what you could make out, you had to admit he was attractive.
Though you felt Iyla tapping you to tell you it was time to move you couldn't. There was something about him that was so captivating. Alas, you had a performance to kill. You turned and saw Donatella approaching you with a huge smile.
"You look even better than I thought you would."
"That's kind. Thank you but I am only the vessel for this beautiful piece of art you've created."
The photographers screamed for you both to pose so they could get the shot and that is what you did for almost a full 10 minutes. No amount was good enough for them, they wanted more and more and more.
"Ah, Lewis. Come, come, come. Join us!”
You spun and found the same man from a few minutes ago approaching. His smile was wide as he looked at Donatella but when they shifted to you his smile slipped. At the sight of that for some reason, your belly sank. Did he know of you and didn't like you?
As quickly as the smile disappeared it appeared again. He embraced Donatella kissing both her cheeks as he exchanged pleasantries. You caught a whiff of a scent that couldn't be cologne. It had to be him. It was strong but not in an overpowering way. Though he didn't stand too close to you, you could catch notes of spiced wood, and rich floral undertones that smelled as if fragrant flowers had been gently smoked over a fire to unlock their deeper fragrance. He smelled good--mouthwatering even.
Donatella turned to you, "Do you know Y/N? Have you met?"
Your eyes met and instantly the feeling of familiarity washed over you.
"Uh--,” you began.
"No, I've never had the pleasure, Lewis said holding out his hand for yours.
You placed it in his palm and felt the familiarity shake you again in the form of a sharp but almost comforting jolt. Neither of you budged though.
"Are you sure? I swear I feel like I've seen..."
"Trust me if I had ever been properly introduced to you, I'd remember."
His eyes held you locked in place. There was something familiar about them but you knew you'd never met him before. He was right. You were sure you'd remember eyes like his. Lewis suddenly dropped your hand, then slipped to the other side of Donatella to take part in the photos. Then like a thief in the night he was gone. Who was that you thought to yourself.
As showtime approached, you tried to forget the strange encounter and the way your body came alive from his scent. The more you tried to forget the more you focused on it but instead of thinking of the man you'd just met you kept thinking about the one you'd been talking to for the last several months.
A notification came up, sending you to your DMs.
Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Ready for what exactly?
Seeing his message your belly fluttered. It truly had been a while since you'd had a reaction like this to anyone.
You: You know what. Ask me again.
30 seconds ticked by, then a minute, and the whole time you tried not to chew your lip. When another message came in, again your belly flipped.
Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Do you want me?
Seeing the rephrased question instantaneously brought up your anxiety. It was direct on purpose because he wanted an intentional answer. Not a possible or hypothetical one. Oh, you thought. This man was different from any other little boy you'd encountered and every fiber of your being said take a chance.
Unable to resist, you bit down on your bottom lip and chewed forgetting all about your plum-painted lips, and prepared to type your reply but before you could get a letter down Iyla called your name telling you it was showtime.
5 minutes later, you were backstage waiting for your cue. You would be the first to walk out and down the runway as if you were one of the models. You'd then take your seat and begin. You should have been nervous about it but you weren't, you were more nervous about the message you were about to send.
A few of the models gave you hugs and thumbs up for support just before the stage manager gave you a nod for you to go. Once you stepped through the threshold, you took note of just how many people were there. The creative director had done amazingly on the set and ambiance. The large pool in the center of the runway space really was a vibe. The audience instantly erupted in applause as you stuck your beginning pose for dramatic effect.
What a dream you thought as you took your first step down the sleek white platformed runway. There were plenty of little girls who dreamed of this moment and here you were living it. It had been a while since you were open enough to feel gratitude but here and now you felt it in full force. Another thing to credit the man who still hadn't revealed his name for.
As you walked you noted the plethora of celebrities that sat around the runway at their posh-looking garden tables watching every move you made. You saw singers, actors, models, and even athletes from varying fame levels. On your turn, you saw Dwayne Wade who was seated next to Lewis Hamilton. Both men gave you an appreciative and polite head nod as you passed. When you got to the end of the "U" shaped runway you stopped and the audience again applauded you.
Once you were seated behind the piano, you adjusted your microphone and got ready to get down to business. As the first chords of the piano played for the intro you fully gave yourself to the track. A few lines in and the models began walking showing off the art that had taken months to prepare.
The song you'd chosen tonight was new. It was something that had come to you since you'd begun your interactions in your DMs. It was softer than the songs from your last album which was quite heavy. The lyrics were flirtatious, the melody fun and soothing but it was still somehow all you.
20 minutes later you'd sang 4 new songs and was in the middle of a piano solo that would close out the show. When Donatella stepped out after the model precession went by, you added some flair to the solo giving Beethoven and Bach a run for their money. The audience clapped and whistled as you showcased your musical abilities, abilities that had gotten you your current fame and status. Upon the grand finale, you hit the perfect ending chords making Donatella laugh.
The two of you walked on either side of the line of models toward the center of the "U" shaped runway to meet and join hands. She gestured to you making the audience applaud and cheer. You did a dainty curtsy then motioned to Donatella and cheered loudly which promoted those around you to do the same. You stood there allowing the photographers to take pictures for a few moments. When you glanced down you realized you were standing directly in front of Lewis whose eyes were glued to you. The smile on his lips was soft and the look on his face was endearing. You wanted to ask why but you shook it off.
2 hours later after endless pictures, interviews, autographs, and tens of flirtatious men trying to either get your number, get you to give them your number, or convince you to leave with them for the night; you finally had time to yourself. You finished your glass of champagne, leaned on one of the 9-foot tall hedges, and scrolled through your phone.
Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Your voice is still haunting and amazingly beautiful, but your eyes are no longer sad and empty. God, you are gorgeous like this.
Smiling, you took a deep breath.
You: I want you.
You were sure of that now.
Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Are you sure?
You: Yes. I've spent the night having CEOs, oil tycoons, actors, models, athletes, artists, and men from every other profession you can think of flirt with me, attempt to spend the night with me, and try to create some sort of connection only to fail miserably because all I can think of is you and the fact you haven't once flirted with me or tried to convince me to spend the night with you.
Blessedbeyondmeasure44: I didn't know you wanted me to.
You: I didn't either. Now I do. I want you to. I want you to do all of that.
Blessedbeyondmeasure44: What if I don't want to convince you to spend the night with me? Spending the night with you is the least of what I want to do with you.
You: What do you want?
Blessedbeyondmeasure44: I want your days. I want your afternoons. I want your trust. I want your honesty. I want your vulnerability. I want your mind. I want your heart.
Once again he'd stolen your breath.
You: And what do I get in return?
Blessedbeyondmeasure44: I will give you smiles. I will give you laughter. I will give you joy. I will give you honesty. I will give you my days. I will give you my afternoons, my nights. I will give you my loyalty. I will give you trust. I will give you vulnerability. I will give you my mind, my heart, and only when you are sure you can match me I will give you my body and all the passion and fire you can stand.
Wow, you thought.
You: I'm in Cannes for a few days. I fly out the day after tomorrow. How can we meet?
Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Depends. How badly do you want it?
You: I'm not thirsty or anything but a hard 9.
A voice message came through of him laughing. Then another.
"I'm glad you can hide your thirst but I won't. Not anymore. I'm at 100."
It was your turn to send a voice message of you laughing.
Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Glad you find my suffering funny. I'm currently in Cannes too. If you trust me enough we can meet tonight.
Your brows rose. He was in Cannes too? What a coincidence.
You: Tonight then.
Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Tonight.
You felt all sorts of giddy now. It overshadowed the nervousness that was trying to overtake you. Fifteen minutes later, as you left the fashion show venue, another message came through.
Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Vieux Port, 12. Tell this to your driver and they will know where to go.
You smiled then attached a photo of yourself from the night and sent it.
You: Me now so you don't miss me
Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Jeez. You're beautiful Y/N.
You: It is a bit unfair that I still don’t know your name.
Blessedbeyondmeasure44: You'll know when you see me.
You dropped Iyla off at the hotel with an excuse of wanting to sightsee then you took the drive to the port. On the way you texted her the location you would be in case you bumped into trouble. With the window down, you relaxed into the scents of Cannes. Baked goods, salty sea air, citrus, and sand. It all smelled wonderful. You'd been here tens of times before but this was the first time you'd taken time for yourself to mellow out. You were in a completely different headspace than you were on previous trips and it felt so freeing.
15 minutes later, your driver pulled up to find 2 people, a man, and a woman, already waiting there. Your phone vibrated with a notification.
Blessedbeyondmeasure44: I sent Verona and Linus to escort you. They are waiting at the port. I promise you're safe.
Another message came with 2 pictures and vouching credentials. Sighing, you relaxed again. He had thought of everything. As you approached the two they smiled.
"Verona? Linus?"
"Yes. Ms. Y/L/N?”
"Yes."
"Wonderful. Please follow us we will take you to the vessel," Verona said.
As you walked behind them you couldn't help but wonder what vessel and how he'd pulled all this together in less than an hour. Who was he exactly? It took all of 3 minutes until Linus and Verona both stopped in front of a lavish yacht that looked like it was at least 3 stories.
"Whoa."
"Ms. Y/L/N, after you," Linus said with an outstretched arm pointing to the boarding plank ahead.
You stood there for several moments thinking about things again. Were you really going to get on this yacht with someone you’d never met before? Were you really going to be this trusting?
Blessedbeyondmeasure44: I had Verona and Linus provide your driver with the details of this yacht before he left. I've told him to give it to your manager so they know where you will be and how to contact authorities if you aren't returned safely. I’ve also asked them to check in with you every 30 minutes using a code word they choose. I don't want you afraid of me Y/N. If you are afraid I won't think anything of you turning around and we can try this another way, a more public way with your manager present. Whatever you're comfortable with.
You didn't know if it was game or not but his words calmed you. Maybe it wasn't his words and the fact that he thought ahead and provided these securities for you to feel safer. A call from Iyla came through then.
"OMG, Y/N. Wow. I have so many questions and I want all the details later but your code word is Calamari. I will call every 30 minutes."
She sounded excited and you had no idea why.
"Got it."
Just like that, she ended the call. Why was she so excited? You wondered if she knew something you didn't as you put your phone in your bag. With a breath, you crossed the plank and allowed a man dressed similarly to Linus and Verona to lift you onto the yacht.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome. He is waiting on the top deck. Follow this hallway to the steps at the end and up you go," Verona instructed.
With a nod, you were off. As you walked you noted just how luxurious the yacht truly was. Did he own this? If he did he was possibly in or close to your tax bracket. You weren't sure if you should be happy about it or leery. If he was in your tax bracket it could mean he was a celebrity as well. At that thought you paused on the 4th step on the stairs.
You thought about celebs that you'd tried to get to know or date and cringed. All of them were slightly weird with quirks you couldn't handle on top of your schedule and responsibilities. A celebrity relationship took a lot and you didn't know if you could give any of it.
"You're getting ahead of yourself, Y/N."
You took a breath and continued. When you reached the top of the stairs your jaw dropped. There were candles and flowers everywhere. Slowly you looked around and realized they weren't just any flowers, they were your favorite flowers.
"Oh my god," you whispered.
With a step forward you took in your 360 view and you knew that no matter who he was you wanted to try for him. As you looked behind you, you walked backward distracted by the beauty surrounding you. He'd somehow managed all of this in under an hour. Somehow he'd filled the entire top deck with all your favorite things. Your favorite flowers were covering every surface of the floor. Your favorite scented candles were lit and their scent wafting in the air. Your favorite snacks and treats lining the railing on the left. Your favorite fruit lining the right railing.
"He's really been paying attention," you softly said.
"Of course I pay attention. You're important to me."
You stumbled to a stop but kept your back to the voice. You recognized his voice. You recognized it from your messages and even tonight. Suddenly, everything swirled in your mind as it slowly came together.
Hi, Y/N."
You took a deep breath and turned. Your jaw dropped while everything fell into place as you looked into eyes you'd seen before this moment. They were eyes you'd looking into mere hours ago.
"I'm Lewis."
He smiled and your heart skipped a beat but words escaped you. He didn't speak again, he waited with his hands clasped behind his back. He wore the same full black outfit from earlier but he looked even better in it now with the candles and flowers as his backdrop.
"I--you--oh my god. You're--”, you began.
"Blessedbeyondmeasure44? Yes, I am."
The silence stretched for a long moment before you snorted.
"Bullshit."
Lewis chortled in return then let out a chuckle.
"I've said it before but God I love that you have no censor and say the first thing that comes to your mind."
Your eyes bugged. He had said that before.
"No. You're not."
Lewis smiled and took a few more steps to you, "How can I prove it to you?"
"Prove?"
You wracked your brain trying to make sense of this and come up with a way he could make you believe this.
"What was the first thing I said to you in DMs?"
Without hesitation, Lewis spoke, "After you sent a follow request I said I didn't expect that this was how my day would end and you said me neither."
You raised a brow. "What was the last thing we did together?
"We went to the beach. You went to Crystal Cove in Laguna Beach and I went to La Concha because I was in Spain at the time. You sent me a beautiful picture of a cave and said it was one of your secret spots. It was called--.”
"Dana's Point," you finished as he proved his point.
"I can show you the messages, and our pictures including the one you sent earlier so I wouldn’t miss you. I wouldn't miss you though Y/N. You stand out no matter what."
He took another step to you leaving only a few inches between you. He reached out and took your hands.
"I have missed you though. I've missed you in so many moments that I wished you were with me, so many experiences I wished I had with you. I missed you every time a message of yours came in. I even missed you in my dreams."
You lifted your hand and cupped his cheek while staring into his eyes.
"I knew I saw those eyes before. I felt it."
Lewis smiled. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to do this in front of those cameras and the crowd. I'm sorry I wasn't 100% truthful."
You smirked.
"Your message."
Lewis cupped your cheek in return. "Your voice is still haunting and amazingly beautiful, but your eyes--," he paused then cupped your other cheek. Using his thumbs, he softly slid them across your cheekbones. "Your eyes are no longer sad and empty. God, you are gorgeous like this."
Tears welled your eyes and you scoffed.
"Now you flirt with me."
A chuckle fell from his lips and if you hadn't fallen for him before you definitely had now. You hung your head and shook it.
"I am so stupid. This whole time."
"You're not."
"You're Lewis Hamilton. I am sure any other woman would have recognized those eyes. I had no clue. Hell, I don’t know the first thing about you, not really. Yeah, you're a racer but other than that..." you shrugged.
Lewis lifted your head his hands now cupping your skull. It put you on high alert at just how large his hands were. "Hey, love that you had no clue. I love that you don't know me. It was refreshing. I loved these last few months of you knowing me and me knowing you without the extra stuff."
"We know the extra stuff now. Oh my god, from the ruckus on the carpet of the Versace show you're a huge celebrity. How in the world---."
Before you could continue your freak-out Lewis' lips were on yours. It was like you’d stuck your finger in an electrical socket. Your entire body came to life as if his touch was life itself. His soft lips slowly pressed against yours before he opened them enough to take your top lip between his. From there all thought escaped you.
When one of his hands slipped around your waist you moaned unexpectedly. Where had that come from? Your body had no trouble following along. You pressed yourself closer to him relishing the tingles that skirted across your lips and everywhere he touched. Just as you were going to sink your fingers into his braids, Lewis pulled away keeping his forehead to yours.
"Do you want me?"
His voice was low and deep and it wrapped around you pulling you closer to him.
"I-I don’t see how I can have you."
Again Lewis kissed you. This time he delved his tongue into your mouth wrapping it around yours, teasing you to open more for him. When you did it was because you moaned. He took advantage of that opening and kissed you in a way that said he was not letting you go. His moan melded with yours and you felt his other hand tighten as he held your skull. Tearing his lips away, he panted as harshly as you were.
"Do you--want--me? Because I want you Y/N. I want you even knowing the obstacles in our way. I want you more than I have wanted anything in a long time. I want you in ways that surprise me and make me year all at once. I'm not saying this will be a walk through the park. I'm saying I want to walk together with you from this night on. Do you want me too?"
He had to be kidding. Who in their right mind would say no after that? You snorted then laced your fingers together behind his neck thrusting yourself flush against him.
"I want you more than anything. I want you in my life. I want to really run with you though I hate it. I want to go to beaches together and have movie nights truly together. I want to see the same sunrise and sunsets you see. I want to touch your skin like this whenever I want instead of thinking about it. I want to smell you every day. Yes, Lewis. I want you too."
The look in his eyes held you in place as did the tightness of his arms that were now wrapped around your waist holding you possessively against him.
"I can't wait to give you the world Y/N," Lewis said in such a way you knew he meant every word.
"I don't need the world, nor do I want it. I just want you."
His smile was the cutest thing and you knew you'd never get tired of it.
"You have me. Next up...the world."
You smiled then giggled when he lifted you in the air and spun you around. You laughed louder loving the way the sound came from the very depths of you and how authentic it felt. When he put you down you were at the railing looking out to the ocean.
"Started from a DM now we here," Lewis said making you snort.
"Started from a DM soon the whole world will fuckin hear bout it."
Lewis threw his hands up.
"Ayyyy!”
You laughed loudly and soon he joined in. When he wrapped his arms around you again he gazed into your eyes but said no words. Slowly both of you moved closer until your lips softly touched. Neither of you moved. You took the time to savor the feel of your skin connecting in a way your minds and souls already had. A way that he had retaught you, a way that he so patiently and diligently worked for and it all started when he messaged your heart.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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another-clive-blog · 7 months
Note
clive au idea: he hits his head really hard at the casino (when he gets punched by bostro), and he gets some kind of amnesia. when he wakes up, from what he can gather from the others on who they think he is, he starts to genuinely believe he is future luke.
Angst angst angst- Alright I was excited about this one so I tried to make both fanarts and fanfiction hehe. Both are under the cut !! ('Do you like the color of the sky ?' Type of post ndjvdhcd probably SO LONG)
A fair warning tho, I drew on paper and photos destroyed my colors. I'll wait for nice natural sunlight next time...
Alright SO the fun thing is that I've actually done the part we were talking about lol, so without any further ado :
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Soooo yeah. Next Google search : How do I tell my kind but sometimes provocative apprentice that he's actually the villain we were looking for.....
And would you look at that !! The fanfiction takes place right after that last picture <3
-
"Professor ? What is wrong ?" Big Luke asked, confusion written all over his face. Not concern. Never concern.
Layton should have known.
"You have to tell him, Hershel," Dimitri simply said, another nail in the coffin. He was right, of course, but that didn't make things any easier.
"Professor ?" Little Luke asked, his eyes worryingly going back and forth between the two men.
Well, it was too late to turn back anyway.
Big Luke must have felt it too, because he tried to back away at the last possible second. "Wait, wait, wait-"
A sharp inhale. Composure. And onward we go. "You are not actually Luke Triton."
"I'm not ?!" The actual Luke Triton yelled in anguish.
Layton kept his eyes on the silent young man who was now looking at him with an intense something that he couldn't quite describe. "Your name is Clive Dove. Your parents died in a tragic accident 10 years ago. They were collateral victims of a failed experiment ran by Dimitri's colleagues."
Big Luke whipped around, glaring daggers at Dimitri, and for a brief second Hershel thought that his memory had come back all at once.
It had not. "Tell him he's wrong !!" Big Luke commanded with a sheer anger that only seemed to incriminate him more.
Dimitri shook his head, the same tired sadness he did everything with heavy in his eyes. "He is telling the truth. You told me yourself, because unlike me you were there that day."
"No !" Big Luke insisted before the Professor cut him off.
"Clive, you then got adopted by a nice lady called Constance Dove. She-"
"Stop it !!" Big Luke yelled. Had they lost their minds ?? He would remember if his parents were killed. He wouldn't just forget the last memories he had of them ! No, no, no- Brenda and Clark were alive and well, little Luke had told him that. The professor and that Dimitri guy were just- just making up lies, testing him ! The Professor had been suspicious of his sudden memory loss, and Dimitri was a liar through and through.
They were lying, and he knew exactly how to prove it.
"If I'm not Luke Triton, then what am I doing here ?" He asked, because well- why would he be a part of Dimitri's vicious plan when the guy supposedly murdered his supposed family ? Why would he introduce himself as a Future Luke trying to stop Professor Layton, thing that he had apparently done ? And had he just conveniently ran into the Professor and stayed by his side by sheer luck ?
He crossed his arms smugly. All of these theories fell apart the second he was thought not to be Luke Triton. Checkmate, Professor. You won't fool your apprentice this time.
Layton looked him dead in the eyes. "You are the mastermind behind this whole thing."
...Hu ? Well it was a good question, but he wouldn't exactly call himself a mastermind-
"What do you mean, Hershel ?" Dimitri's voice cut through the silence, and for once he sounded alarmed : Big Luke somehow knew that it was strange to hear so many emotions at once from him.
"We have known for some time that someone else was manipulating Dimitri," Layton admitted, "but we couldn't quite find who. I am afraid we may never get confirmation with your unfortunate situation, but I do believe you were behind all of this, Clive."
"Stop calling me that," he snapped, "and stop telling such stupid theories !"
"You kidnapped those scientists and you told them to work on these weapons-"
"Weapons ?! Is that true, Clive ? This was never a part of our plan, we-"
"But I'm not sure what the final product is supposed to be. It must be something rather enormous, a new kind of weapon or a fortress-"
"Enough !!" Big Luke screamed. "Aren't you done already ?! I thought you were a brilliant man, but you're as pathetic as the rest of them !!"
A gasp. Little Luke took a step back, then another. He looked- he seemed betrayed, and disheartened, and he quickly ran to the professor's side.
Big Luke remained silent- almost. He suddenly was made aware that he was panting, his whole body uncontrollably shaking. He ran a hand down his cheek and surely enough, it was wet.
Most likely sweat than tears.
He looked around. The professor and Luke were finally silent, eyeing him like he was a predator about to strike. Dimitri had gone quiet too, but more in disbelief than anything. It was finally quiet, and yet there was a buzzing in his mind that was deafening, like something was going to snap soon and go off.
He squeezed his eyes shut. Luke Triton- Clive Dove.
Nothing. Not a single memory in sight. His parents, whoever they were, were gone from his mind- possibly gone forever.
The buzzing had stopped by now, but the anguish had not.
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carpisuns · 2 years
Note
Do you have any advice for someone who wants to start posting Miraculous Art or digital art inngeneral? I want to make a tumblr for it, but I feel like I need to be good enough to do so in a way?
Yes! My advice is: just post it :) go for it! there is no “your skill level must be this high to post” rule.
honestly, sharing work can be scary for people of any skill level. it’s good to learn how to get comfortable with your own mistakes and just learn and grow and improve without feeling shame about where you’re starting. and you might be surprised by how supportive people are of beginners and how much they genuinely enjoy your work even when you don’t really know what you’re doing! Haha
here look at this
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I drew this like 3 years ago and I was proud of it at the time but i despise it now and I think it’s one of the worst things I’ve ever drawn because chat’s arm is like TWICE as long as it should be 😂 the anatomy in general is Bad but that arm haunts me to this day!!!! Omg
But you know who commented on that mistake? No one!! This post got like 100 notes and it was just people being nice (and this was back when I had just started my blog and had hardly any followers).
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^ this was one of my earliest pieces of ML art, which I drew on paper and then took a photo of and colored in with my finger on my phone bc I didn’t have a drawing tablet lol. I specifically remember flipping out bc buggachat reblogged it 😂 it is not a good drawing!!!
The point is that art doesn’t have to be super well done for you and others to enjoy it! posting your stuff is a great way to share what you love, make friends, connect with other creators that you can learn from, and just feel supported in your art journey. Improvement will come automatically as you just keep creating and having fun with it!
Sometimes i actually get excited when I see art that was drawn by a beginner because it’s just cool to see people learning new things and sharing things that they enjoy even if it’s not perfect. I know it’s intimidating to share your work when there are other artists who are more skilled than you, but realistically there is always gonna be someone who’s better than you, no matter how good you are, so you might as well get used to it now 😂 also, even artists you look up to make mistakes! i remember when I first started learning I thought everyone else’s art was flawless lol but when you train your eye better you notice mistakes more. Which isn’t a bad thing! It’s nice to remember that we’re all still growing and we can support each other as we do that. I could go through every one of my art pieces and point out mistakes I’ve made or ways I could improve lol and that’s just the stuff I even notice! Sometimes that’s a little intimidating bc I’m like “omg XYZ artist is SO good, they’re probably judging me” but honestly that’s probably not the case(?) haha. In my experience fandom artists are very supportive of one another whether they’ve been drawing forever or are just starting out. So don’t sweat it! Just share your stuff and see where it leads you :)
good luck!!! I am cheering you on! 💜
(also I’ll let you in on a little secret: if something is stupid/funny people don’t care how ugly it is. yesterday I posted something that looks like this and people reblogged it. amazing)
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kayrllylikesblitzwing · 5 months
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hmm I wonder where kay has been
hi guys it’s my birthday and today I remembered that I have tumblr omg!!!! anyway. where has kay been?
sorry for not posting for like 20 years😭😭😭 i kinda stopped drawing for a little while cuz college applications were happening and that’s a preeeeeettttttttyyyyyy big deal at least for me so i vanished and didn’t post any Blitzwing 😵 can you BELIEVE IT? NO BLITZWING? On @kayrllylikesblitzwing?!(!?(?! Are you JOSHING me rn????
and then after the college apps had all gone down i had scholarshipss to fill out and my Apple Pencil DIED like it completely stopped working, charging, or even pairing to my iPad and I didn’t want to post my traditional stuff because Guys. Guys I’m such a FAKER my traditional is so BAD BAD BAD! so I just kinda forgo about posting but now here I am. New Apple Pencil. Posting!!!!
except it’s been a long year LOL and ive really started liking another show outside of transformers fandom. It’s a pretty small show, pretty niche, pretty undergrou—
it’s fucking chainsaw man
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here’s one of my chainsaw man ocs her name is ume and she’s like kobeni if kobeni had no skills whatsoever but lots of money and a closeted desire to be emo😭😭 ume is fun to shitpost even though she’s stupid and in the stupid lore I’m writing dies horribly oopsie-daisy
I have a BUNCH of csm ocs so I might post them sometime to get them outta my system so then I can go back to BLITZPOSTING YAAAYY it’s actually been so long the last time I drew Blitzwing was likiiike a few months ago
anyway I am cringe but I am free thanks for showing up 😭😭😭
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sixty-silver-wishes · 7 months
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having a lot of international friends and looking through old discord dms with them is wild because it’s like
- “lol look at this meme”
- “haha it’s so funny how our first languages have similar quirks”
- “can I open up to you about this issue that’s been bothering me?”
- “let’s work out a time that works for both of us to chat since we live in different time zones”
- “HOW ARE YOU STILL AWAKE”
- “wow, talking about the weather is actually really cool when people live in different climates”
- “look at these cool pictures I took on vacation”
- “can you help me translate this?”
- “dang; that sucks. I wish I could fly over to comfort you in person right now”
- “lol I made cookies and wanted to ask if you wanted any, and then I remembered you live across an ocean from me”
- “isn’t it crazy how technology lets us communicate instantly from so far away, and we use it to send memes and stupid stuff”
- “we should meet up one day; I’ll show you around”
- “your connection is cutting out; lemme pause the movie”
- “wait isn’t it like 2 am where you live”
- “I can’t believe we have messages from like five years ago; wow”
- “I just read the news about what happened in your country; are you okay? I don’t completely understand the situation but I’m here if you need me; don’t feel pressured to respond but I just want to know that you’re safe”
- “hey; I know this meme is old and I sent it to you before, but it still makes me think of you”
- “I drew you a picture since I wanted to get you a gift, but I can’t mail anything to your country”
- “don’t worry about your grammar/pronunciation/accent; you speak my first language really well! but if you want, we can try to talk in your language too; I’ve been practicing”
- “what’s going on in your country? the news is saying lots of different things and I don’t know what to believe”
- “we’ll be okay. we’ll get through this”
- “omg look at this funny post”
- “thanks for being here. you’re a really good friend. I wish we could meet in person”
- “the weather where you live is WHAT”
- “you’re probably asleep right now, but I just read the news again, so when you see this, I just want to know if you’re doing all right”
- “omg your pets are so cute”
- “today is a holiday for you, right? how was it?”
- “wow; those pictures you sent are so pretty”
- “look at this stupid cat gif”
- “read the news again; are you doing okay?”
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inevitably-johnlocked · 7 months
Note
Hi Steph! i messaged you a while back because someone recommended my fic, and it was very touching. well after hiatus, I finished the entirety of season 1 of Reichenbach Falls! one third is done, which comes up to 550K words! I am so excited to have actually pulled it off, oh my god it was like birth, and i was hesitatnt to post because, well, it was a long time since my last update. but of course I'm not done with it LOL, it's gonna haunt me more as I publish s2 which is the next 110 chapters out of 303(https://archiveofourown.org/works/26233390/chapters/128797882#workskin). Season 1 can now be read as a standalone, since it is all finished and came full circle. I just had to share because I am so proud of myself for once??
oh and i wanted to share my friend Bee's illustration of Jim Moriarty, who is the bad guy, of course, a mixture of himself and Bill Cipher. He's gorgeously MURDEROUS!
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he is the GOAT. as is my lovely friend who drew him over a year ago when we brainstormed season 2. He's just the perfect little meow meow.
I guess that's it C: I am just excited, and proud, and ready to write the sequel hehe *hides away from exam season*
I started this fic when I was 20, now I'm 23 and it's like having a toddler, IT WONT LET ME SLEEP AT NIGHT!
That's it I guess haha, sorry for the chaos (it's thematic with Jim, tho), but I'm a little ball of emotions and I actually managed to log into this tumblr lmao
I hope you have a lovely day, as everyone else too :) you guys are the best here! thank you for being so kind :)
MWAH
Reichenbach Falls by VeeTheRee(M, 551,435+ w., 105/303 Ch. || WiP || Gravity Falls /  Multifandom AU || Alternate First Meeting, Gay Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Unilock, Summer Romance/Love, Fluff, Insecure Sherlock, Villain Mary, First Kiss, Slow Burn, Doctor Who, Supernatural, Canadian John, French Canadian Lestrade, Insecure Sherlock, Mystery, Domestic Fluff, Developing Relationship Summer Love, Light Angst, BAMF! John, Case Fic) – Two Canadians, two Brits studying in Canada, and an upkeeper walk into a Mystery Shack…. and live there. Summer holidays are here, and the step-siblings, Irene Adler and Sherlock Holmes, find themselves in a boring town called Reichenbach Falls, Oregon, USA. It isn’t as boring as it seems, however, once Sherlock stumbles upon a mystery journal, and the author is unknown. The journal contains ciphers, a strange colour wheel, and information about magical creatures that are said to be looming in the Northwestern forests. With mysteries to solve in hand, he and Irene set out to get to the roots of the town, and the abrupt disappearance of the author of the journal. But they’re not alone - John Watson, quite the handsome nephew of the Mystery Shack owner Greg Lestrade, is on their side to help out, plus mess with Sherlock’s feelings, in a good way. Shenanigans, romance, fun, danger, and deductions ensue. Oh, and there’s also occasional SuperWhoLock and two dorky Winchester brothers to spark up the action later on. Part 1 of the Reichenbach Falls series
======
HEY LOVELY!!! <3 <3 <3
SO happy to hear about the progress of the fic! I know you have a small fandom here who are eager to read the next season, and we're happy to hear that it's on its way!!!
And NEVER apologize for being chaotic!! I and everyone here loves it!!
Everyone go give this fic some love, and, if you haven't checked it out yet, give it a read! <3
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fangirleaconmigo · 2 years
Note
I'm sure you have already been asked about it, but I need to hear about your WIP Virgin Sacrifice (Geraskier), lol. Also tell me about David loves Patrick’s Cabaret Costume? Sorry, I know I'm arriving late to the party haha.
Stinaaa I am very slow at things but thank you for sending me this for the WIP game.
Actually no one has asked about that one yet! (well I did post a snippet probably almost a year ago when it was still a WIP, sob.)
I have written a bit more, so why don't I just give you everything I have? *clears throat* Here it is.
Geralt rescues a virgin sacrifice, who is not at all what he expected.
Geraskier Virgin Sacrifice:
At dawn, in the dark, a hungry and angry werewolf stalked the camp, but when he realised that it was Dandelion who was singing, he listened for a little while and went his way. (A Little Sacrifice)
Geralt took stock of himself before he entered the cave. He tried to smooth down his hair, but it resisted him. He gave up on it and drew his shoulders down apologetically.
If the girl was still alive in there, she'd be terrified. Terrified people didn’t tend to find his presence immediately comforting, and children were always the most horrified.
But there wasn’t much he could do about first impressions. His scars spoke of violence. And as much as he wanted to think of his eyes as graceful and feline, most people saw them as demonic and serpentine. And when he smiled, it only made matters worse.
Well. He wasn’t getting any prettier. It was now or never.
He swept aside the dangling vines and crept into the cave. They fell stubbornly back into a curtain behind him. The cave was small and dark and shaped like an egg. Dry sticks and twigs defiantly crackled under his boots. Something in the depths of the shadows heard him. It whimpered plaintively.
Geralt moved closer. He squinted, trying to unravel the gloom.
“Are you here to rescue me, good hero?” ventured a voice from the dark. The voice was hoarse and dusty, but it was unmistakably hopeful. That hope tugged at the hem of Geralt’s spirits. People in difficult situations were rarely happy to see him. Resigned maybe. Grimly determined. That was the best Geralt could hope for.
Another thing that struck Geralt as odd was that the voice was masculine, and adult. Young. But adult. It could not be right.
Superstitious types, the kind that offered virgin sacrifices, only tended to involve themselves in the sexual choices of women. Regis, Geralt’s vampire friend, explained it all to him. Fear of women, he’d said. Fear of their sexuality exercised independently. It made sense.
Also, to ensure they really had a virgin, they chose younger and younger sacrifices with each generation. Town elders and clerics these days hauled helpless, tiny, girl children up mountains to be torn asunder, their lives snuffed out before they can even truly begin.
These were all just generalizations though. And not every woman was, or sounded, feminine. Geralt had lived long enough to know that the entirety of humanity would never fit into one of two discrete sex categories. He tucked his assumptions away and readied himself for anything. He opened his mouth, but sputtered when a spiderweb brushed his face. He waved it away and tried again.
“Eh. Yeah,” he said. He was unsure of what to do or say. His mind and his mouth refuse to run on the same track. Instead they ground against each other in disharmony. “I mean. I'm here to—“ he swallowed, “kill the monster. But I didn’t want to leave before I got the….virgin.”
“You killed Harold?”
Harold?
Geralt blinked and his eyes adjusted. He made out a huddled figure on the ground. Blue gray eyes blinked up at him from behind a messy, sweaty fringe.
“Harold?”
“Yeah! I had to give him a name. Even if he just snarled at me.” Sounds of awkward shuffling accompanied his answer.
“Why didn’t he eat you?” Geralt was still trying to fit the name Harold into the existing puzzle of a werewolf, and what a young man was doing trussed up as a virgin sacrifice.
“Rude!” the young man objected.
Geralt sighed. “You know what I mean.” He had forgotten all about hunching over, and his hair was as wild as it had ever been. He stepped forward and knelt next to the man.
The young man twisted his body so he could better see Geralt. Geralt wished he wouldn’t. He was glad it was too dark for this human to see well.
“Well I suppose he likes my singing. Liked my singing, that is. If you’ve offed him.”
“He didn’t untie you,” Geralt said, then immediately felt ridiculous stating the obvious. But the large expressive eyes at his knees were doing something interesting to his gut, and it was scattering his thoughts further.
“Well,” said the captive, scooting and wincing in another attempt to see Geralt’s face. “I’m quite sure he intended to eat me. It was just a matter of him getting hungry enough to kill me despite the entertainment I was providing.”
“Ah.”
“Also, he doesn’t—-didn’t, may his soul rest—have opposable thumbs. But you do. So please, my good champion?” He tried to scoot closer, grunting and trying to push his wrists forward to offer the ropes. They were wrapped tight around broad shoulders and narrow hips, and Geralt couldn’t help but notice that this was indeed a grown adult.
“May his soul rest?” Geralt said stupidly, his mind coming back to focus.
“Sir? Please?” The young man wiggled.
“Oh, yes. Sorry.”
Geralt reached for the first knots, forcing the man to turn his back to him to allow him to reach the knots on his arms.
“What’s your name by the way, good knight? I’m Jaskier.”
“Geralt.”
Geralt meant to tell him he wasn’t a knight. He meant to. But his mind was muddled, he was distracted, and perhaps he was enjoying the eagerness of this Jaskier just a little too much. No matter, he would soon be untied, and he would see Geralt. At that point, Geralt wouldn’t need to say anything. Jaskier would see his eyes and know exactly what he was.
He quietly made short work of the knots, each rope unspooling and thudding onto the ground.
“Alright. Well. You’re free now. And safe.” He threw in that last part so that Jaskier wouldn’t panic when he saw him.
Jaskier exhaled and scooted in a circle so that he could see Geralt. Geralt was still on his knees, and Jaskier sat cross legged, rubbing his wrists. He regarded Geralt carefully, leaning forward to squint through the gray of the cave.
“Well. Aren’t you gorgeous? We could’ve left some of those on if you’d liked.”
Geralt should have been relieved at a compliment and a flirtation from a handsome young man, even though that man was covered in a film of dust and wearing a shit eating grin. But he didn’t want to be relieved. He wanted to be annoyed.
“You are not a virgin.”
Geralt wasn’t able to believe that this man truly thought him gorgeous or that this smile was for him. So he argued with him instead.
“I am!”
It had to be because Jaskier still thought he was a knight. Because he couldn’t see well. It was Geralt’s eyes that gave him away, and it was probably too dim to see their true nature.
“I expected a maiden. A child. The superstitious are most fearful of women. And they don’t like to take chances with the virgin part of a virgin sacrifice,” he grunted.
Jaskier was rubbing his ankles now. “I’m sorry to disappoint you with my age and sex. Perhaps knights don’t receive as generous compensation for men. But I must insist that I am a virgin. And unfortunately I admitted it to a particularly awful cad and he ratted me out to the alderman when they started discussing human sacrifices.”
Geralt grimaced at the reminder that these miserable cunts send an innocent man to die for no reason in the jaws of a werewolf. Jaskier interpreted his grimace to indicate further disbelief.
“Am so. Like I said! A virgin! And a grateful one at that, my brave, courageous champion.”
“Fine.”
“And what kind of knight are you? Besides a gorgeous one. Do you have a kingdom? Are you a knight errant, roaming the countryside looking for virgins to rescue?”
Geralt ignored his questions. He stood up and pulled Jaskier to his feet. He wobbled a bit and pitched into Geralt’s space. Geralt moved forward just in time to catch him. He clutched Geralt’s shoulders.
“Sorry.” Jaskier’s legs trembled for a moment. “I’ve been tied up for like a da— oh.”
His hands had just flexed on Geralt’s shoulders. “Wow.”
Geralt rolled his eyes, but his cheeks were aflame with mortified pleasure. “Are you done?”
“Sure.” Jaskier licked his lips. “It’s just. You have very nice shoulders.”
His hands slipped down to his biceps.
“Holy shit.“
Geralt did not know what to say to that, so he grunted.
“Eloquent.” Jaskier arched an eyebrow. It wasn’t unkind. But it was teasing. “I won’t miss Harold at all.”
Geralt shook his head. “Are you done jesting? We need to get out of here. Geralt extricated himself and had taken two steps towards the exit when Jaskier spoke.
There was sudden vulnerability in his voice. It was so sudden, this drop from bombast to raw uncertainty. It stopped Geralt in his tracks.
He turned around, and once he had taken in Jaskier’s expression and body language, he realized that he had misjudged him. He had taken mouthy courage at face value. Jaskier was tired. He was frightened. He was overcompensating for it.
He tried to make his voice softer.
“What.”
Jaskiers fingers fiddled with the sleeves of his tunic.
“As much as I enjoy making friends of the monster variety, it wasn’t as…pleasant as you might think to be drugged and tied up and piss myself waiting to be eaten.”
Geralt swallowed and nodded.
“And by my own friends no less. The woman who used to teach me piano lessons. The men who tied me up were my uncles.”
“It’s wrong.” Geralt said quietly. “They’re assholes.”
“My whole life growing up, singing, dancing, and well alright being a bit of a scamp. It all added up to worthless. Only fit for monster food.”
Geralt’s chest grew tight.
“Yes. So. As I was sitting there tied up, I resolved never to be in this situation again. So. I came up with a plan.”
“It’s not your fault Jaskier. There wasn’t anything you could’ve done.”
“Yes but. As I sat there tied up I had time to think. And. What if I weren’t a virgin anymore? I resolved to fuck the next man I met no matter what he looked like.
“Oh thanks.”
“No! That’s not what I mean! I was prepared to do that. But then you walked in. Absolute vision. Most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen. Rescuing me like some gallant knight in a story. I quite literally fucking swooned.”
“Your circulation was cut off. And clearly it’s affected your thinking.”
“Geralt please. What if I weren’t a virgin anymore? What if you. Helped me with that? It would also be a lovely way to show my gratitude.”
“No.” Geralt blurted out. Anger surged in him but he kept it in check. Jaskier hadn’t meant to insult him. This wasn’t about him at all. “I would never take advantage of you. You're upset. And scared. Anyway it’s not your fault. It’s a barbaric, obscene practice. You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Yes but I have to live there don’t I?”
“No.”
“Am I really so repulsive? I know I’m not at my best but—“
“Jaskier it’s not that. I’m not—-I’m not fucking you so these assholes will leave you alone. They should just leave you alone.”
“But they won’t. Besides. You’re. Fuck. Look at you. I’d give my right arm and my lute just to touch you on my best day.”
Geralt grunted. “Matter’s closed. Let’s go, Jaskier. It’s a day’s travel back. And if you don’t get water and food in you soon you’re gonna faint.”
He turned and headed for the cave entrance. Jaskier dashed in front of him, eyes desperate. It was as though he thought the privacy they had in the cave was their last chance.
“I’m not going back! Not as a virgin. Please? I know it’s a lot to ask. You just saved my life.”
“It’s not—“
The boy was getting this all wrong.
“No more talking.”
Geralt picked him up and threw him over his shoulder like a sack of grain. He yelped, but there wasn’t much he could do.
“Let’s get you home.”
---
To be continued
----
Now, my David and Patrick one, I just went back and read and no it turns out I cannot share after all lol. It was one of my first fics and it is really really bad. Lmao. Worse than I remember. It was just a horny pwp after David watches Patrick's cabaret performance. And I stopped because I'm only used to writing fantasy scifi characters and they felt *too* real? like I was writing about real people? It weirded me out and I stopped.
And though I could post it, I won't, because it is really bad. But I take that great encouragement that my writing has improved significantly. XD That's the best thing we can ask for as writers.
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wastelandhell · 1 year
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Thank you so much @bokatan and @h3raklion for the tag!
I can tell this is going to become a patented Furby wall of text™ so I'll just throw in a cut now. tl;dr: I love you all and i draw danse way too much
This has been an interesting year mostly in that its my first time posting personal art online in, what, 7 years? I stopped doing this kind of drawing shortly after high school. I picked up painting flash and have been focusing on my tattooing since then. In that time I never did any digital drawing or character drawing until 2 years ago this month, when I drew Val for the first time.
I was terrified to post anything anywhere, I think I posted one piece to reddit, but besides that I kept everything pretty private until April of 2022. I originally made this blog as a place to silently post my drawings and screenshots while providing a sort of devlog of my mods for my own records, and didn't think I would be noticed. I didn't realize people tracked the paladin danse tag, lol!
I'm really glad for all the people I've met through here, I never would have kept this blog up if it weren't for the wonderful messages from all of you guys. So much of my art, both in subject and execution has been influenced by the other users I've had the pleasure of interacting with and I hope to keep it up this year!
You all know I mostly just draw Val and Danse, and this is the palette I use for most things:
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These are all pretty drab, I use different of blending layers and photoshop adjustments to get the colours how I want them at the end.
I usually try to use different brushes in each of my drawings, but these are the ones I come back to most often. The first one is a variant of one of these brushes, I modified it to change size based on direction and tilt. I used the brush almost exclusively until august and its still my favourite for quickly laying out forms and values. I use this one for freckles. The rest are some of my top picks from True Grit Texture Supply, mostly from Chromagraph and Monomania.
I'm glad I was able to really get into drawing this year, and going through my folder I'm pleased with how my anatomy and faces have improved. However I am disappointed in how much of it is just the same ginger fuck. I'm really stunting my growth by not varying my subjects, and now that I'm more comfortable with the tools I want to push myself to actually. uh. try. Put in the effort to make art that says something, tells a story. Less single characters floating in blank voids. More people interacting, scenes, environments. I also really want to get back into digital painting, I used to be really into digital painting and in theory know how to do it. I'm going to try and dig out that old knowledge lol.
Despite being bit bland, and having some glaring errors that still bug me, that Danse drawing is still one of my favourites. I think I spent at least 8 hours on it. I was dealing with some personal issues at the time and just really wanted to scratch that brain itch that the bos knight uniform gives me. It's stupid, I hate it, I can draw it nearly completely from memory by how often I'm looking at it.
The 'tried something new' panel is difficult because I feel like a lot of my recent work has been pretty stagnant. It's all done with the same technique, same palette, same boring cel shading, same layer order, boring. This is one of the few times I did any proper digital painting, and tried to adapt the looser style that I use when I'm drawing in analogue mediums to my digital work.
I just talked about art here and not mods because that would be a whole other wall of text. But it would boil down to: love to do it, no time, and expensive.
Also, if anybody is interested, I do my drawing in Clip Studio Paint and Photoshop on a Surface Laptop Studio.
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ezralva · 7 months
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I've been following you for a coupla years now ever since your xicheng era. It's interesting to see whenever you get into new fixations, it introduces me to lesser animes or BLs or new ships that otherwise I would never think of and more often than not I got hooked to them thanks to you 😁 I'm very shy and awkward so mostly in fandoms I'm in im just a silent enjoyer and follower. I'm so happy when you started posting and reblogging jjk because it's a fandom I've been silently lurking for years and moreover because you like stsg and also chousou because they are one of my favorites too. I pretty much enjoy reading your posts and your reblog tags, they are funny! May you share how you got into that? Because you mention one time that you regret those who drew you into jjk 😅 is it something to do with big fandom?
Ps. I like your fic so much, it's like a healing session after chapter 236, I thought i'd let you know here because i'm too shy to comment directly on the fic
Omg this is so sweet of you, anon, thank you! I hope y'know your kind words just made my whole day <3. Wow if you've been following me that long then you shud go off anon so I wud know who you are ^^ but I get it! I enjoy being silent lurker and follower too from times to times.
Also wow I'm amazed you've put up with my everchanging fixations that long lol I know I'm annoying that whenever I'm into new fixation then I wudn't shut up abt it for a while and too lazy to ever make sideblogs. Anw, I don't really remember when I said that ahaha I'd most likely just joked or be sarcastic when I wrote that. I did feel so much pain knowing my otp is a doomed ship but it's nothing I didn't know before I even started jjk. Moreover it ended in a good note for me what with the latest chapters of them so it's all good now. The abundant loveable characters of jjk making it easy to explore other dynamics and ships too. Even dynamics I'd usually nvr entertain so it's been an eye opener experience! I don't regret a thing. Glad to know we share similar tastes :)
but yea I'm really not good with big fandoms overall and am usually content with the tiny corner of my own. My last experience with big fandoms, before I switched completely to obscure fandoms, were too unpleasant that I didn't wish to ever repeat it. But I'm more adept with curating what I wanna see now so I won't get put-off or get bored quickly. Tiny fandoms are nice and comfy but they were oftentimes unsustainable for me due to the lack of interactions. Still, I'm so happy to hear my shitposts could actually introduce you to new fixations!
Abt how I get into jjk. Well, unlike any other animes mangas I'm into, I actually have irl friends and coworkers that are fans of jjk. 3 of them are close to me (one of them is my spouse lol) and had literally pestered me to try it for long so they'd have someone to talk with. So I'd known about it since around 2 years ago when the movie came out. I was curious bcs it was such a hype around me even though they were all adults who usually didn't even watch anime so there must be sth different abt it. Yet I kept putting it off cz I was just not into supernatural fantasy shounen. I decided this year would be a good time to start since with season 2 the hype around me was too high that I just got swept in it, naturally. I cudn't tamp down my curiosity any longer plus I got time now during this break so why not, right? The thing is my irl friends arent into simping let alone shipping (at least not that I know in public, who knows what they might be doing in private) so I keep that side here ofc!
Awwwh thank you so much for letting me know you like my fic! Ch 236 was indeed devastating for a while tho it was still a HE in some aspects (for me). It's an outlet for me to pour my HCs for the characters that stuck with me. I hope you know that even if it's just excited emojis, a comment in the fic worths a lot for authors cz it let them know not just abt whether their fics are being read and liked, but how their works actually affect the readers, it's a potent drive for authors and feedbacks are helping authors so you don't need to be shy 😉
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waspsinyouryard · 11 months
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So I got tagged in an ask game thing by @hotleafbeverage and felt like participating, but I'm making my own post because the reblog chain of the post I was tagged in is REALLY long and I don't think my answers are interesting enough to justify scrolling through a bunch of other responses just to read them, you know?
1. Name?
I don't really have a preferred name, actually. You can call me Tumblr User waspsinyouryard, or some nickname of your own choosing based off of it. I don't really care
2. Pronouns and gender?
I am agender. As for my pronouns?
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3. Sexuality?
I am aroace
4. Country?
I live in the United States of America
5. Top 5 fandoms?
I read through the Wings of Fire and (the first 4 arcs of) Warriors book series a bit ago and enjoyed them. Sometimes I still think about the occasional joke or point of discussion for them. I much more recently read through the Percy Jackson and the Olympians books and enjoyed them well enough, even if I have since lost interest at Mark of Athena in Heroes of Olympus. I also played through Rhythm Heaven Fever a bit ago and enjoyed it, as well as currently being in the process of finishing Rhythm Heaven DS.
I wouldn't really consider myself to be a part of The Fandom of any of these things, but I guess I have enjoyed them so I'm in the fandom by default?
6. What is your Most forbidden snack?
I feel like molten metal might be tasty
7. Would you pet a bug?
My hands are obviously too large to pet a bug-sized bug, but if any mad scientists are out taking their massive bugs on a walk then I just might.
8. Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class.
My oldest memory is being lowered on onto one of those diaper changing stations in a public bathroom by my mother. I don't remember anything before that. I don't remember anything after that for a good long while.
9. What does the color blue taste like?
I am not synesthetic enough to say anything more than the fact that sky blue probably tastes like yogurt.
10. What is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen?
Probably the most beautiful thing I have ever seen is the landscape in and around Yellowstone National Park.
11. What is the stupidest thing you've ever done?
In 2016ish I became one of those obnoxious internet atheists. I burned bridges because I was so desperate to debunk religion. I devoted so much of my time, energy, and personality into fighting against religion that even now, SEVEN YEARS LATER, there's still a massive hole in my personality that used to be filled with my all-consuming desire to prove that there are no gods.
12. Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say?
Probably the stupidest person I've seen is Kevin from the Reddit Kevin Story. As for IRL, I honestly can't say. If someone does something idiotic, I'm just like "ok that was stupid of them" and then I don't think about it anymore.
13. Hyperfixation song?
I don't really know what this means so here's a small assortment of songs I've been varying degrees of obsessed with in no particular order (featuring YouTube links):
Are you Coming Home, Love MOM (World of Goo Soundtrack)
Best of Times (World of Goo Soundtrack)
Cog in the Machine (World of Goo Soundtrack)
Jelly (World of Goo Soundtrack)
Years of Work (World of Goo Soundtrack)
The City (Little Inferno Soundtrack)
And bliss everywhere bliss (Everywhere, an empty bliss)
Equinox eyes will stop (Everywhere, an empty bliss)
Loss of want back there (Everywhere, an empty bliss)
Basically the entirety of stages 4, 5, and 6 of Everywhere at the End of Time
Kick the Cart! (Noita OST Vol. 2)
Looting the Rainforest (Noita OST Vol. 3)
Old Magician's Last Wish (Noita OST Vol. 3)
14. Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username?
There's no real reason why I chose the url I did, but I drew the PFP I did to fit with it.
15. Dream career as a child?
When I was a very young child, I wanted to be a cop. lol
16. Dream career as an adult?
I don't really dream of any type of labor specifically to be honest. Maybe if making mediocre posts to social media sites was a well-paying job..?
17. Thoughts on cilantro?
I don't actually have any thoughts on cilantro whatsoever. I have eaten it before but I still can't tell you if it tastes like soap or not to me.
18. Have you ever been banned from any location and if so, why?
I have not been banned from anywhere thus far
19. What is your cursed food combination?
Once upon a time I made a corn chip sandwich that was just a bunch of corn chips between two slices of bread. There are better ways of eating corn chips.
20. Trans rights?
Hell yeah!
Now I want to hear from
@anyone who wants to participate. I'm not tagging people because I don't know who I would tag and am scared of intruding even if I did
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egg-emperor · 1 year
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So, some of the people that judged you badly actually posted some form of similar Eggman content. Sounds like they only want to have the right about it I don't know how to explain this. Like it"s ok for them because they may see theirself as righteous or morally good I don't know so if it's from them it's ok no worries it's all love and peace but if it's from you or someone else it's not because you and others wrote something they don't like and that makes you the 'bad' guys and since they are the good ones they have to stop you regardless of the methods used because hey, they are the good ones they can't be wrong even if they truly did fcked up stuff to you right? Seriously, what the hell?
That sh"t is scary and you're actually right for calling out their behaviour, especially for all the things they did to you and spreading false things so others sided with them, making things worse than what they already were.
Who started that I don't know but no wonder they are full bullies and more.
Yeah it's just hypocrisy. Because while failing to tag something correctly is an issue like I have but always make sure to fix, some act like all my darker creations are wrong for me to make at all, despite having themes just as dark in their works.
I'll respect privacy but a few years ago there was an AU focused Sonic imprisoned in Forces and the tortuous abuse from Eggman. I was interested as someone who explores the concept too. But people tried to call this out and accuse the creators of all kinds of horrible things, just like what happened to me.
One main contributor is with the group that take issue with me and blocked me because of my take on Eggdad and possibly my staregg/eggline concept too. The other person I mentioned who is also involved with them, also blocked me after I interacted with their post where Metal bloodied up Sonic, which is ironic.
And another person in the circle drew "problematic content" years ago that I won't detail but some tried to bring it back and make accusations too. Like me, they even said they didn't like when people caused drama behind their back but proceeded to do the same as they contributed to the spread of the worst accusations I've gotten.
In both times people in that circle were called out, I defended their right to create/how it doesn't represent them as a person. They're not obligated to defend me but all I wanna know is if they can depict an actual 15 year old being abused or attacked with gore, why am I a bad guy for writing ageless AI Sage being manipulated by Eggman and a darker staregg/eggline concept?
The more I reflect on how hypocritical it is, the better I feel. Because I feel like some may only be taking issue with what I create as a reason to hate on me for other things about me that they don't like, or they're just against me because others say they should be and they want to avoid drama like before happening to them again.
A lot of them also seem to express moral righteousness too, so it's confusing and a bit concerning that they're okay with some things but not with others, and punish the others even if what they're okay with can be on the same level as or even worse. I just wish they hadn't fallen into this purity and call out culture and reflect on how we've actually been in the same boat.
And it's very sad for me not just for the horrible things I've been accused of but also because of how I looked up to these creators. Now I can't look at certain art on my blog I reblogged or the IDW cover without sadness and anxiety remembering what they did that hurt me.
But at least now I know to just stay in my little corner doing my own thing because these fandom cliques aren't worth the time when stuff like this happens lol
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novelmonger · 7 months
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🦈🌻🍬🚦
🦈 Which character is the toughest to write?
Lol, the last time I answered a question like this, I was accused of being racist for saying that Sam Wilson is funny and emotionally stable XD
But as I think about it now, I suppose the real answer is that the toughest characters for me to write are snarky geniuses. The main ones I've had occasion to write would be Sherlock Holmes and Tony Stark. For one thing, they're much more intelligent than I am, so that's hard to write, and also their areas of expertise are very far removed from my own. Then, at least in Tony's case, I always feel the need to reference pop culture in some way - but not the nerdy stuff I would actually know about. Tony's always dropping references to movies I haven't seen or bands I don't listen to or something, so it takes a lot of effort to figure out what to make him say, and both he and Sherlock have this mocking way of talking a lot of the time that doesn't come naturally to me. I don't feel like I've ever really gotten either of their voices quite right.
🌻 How often do you read your own fics?
Less than I used to, I think. These days, I usually only read my own stuff when someone comments, "I love how you did XYZ!" And then I'm like, "Wait, I did XYZ?" and of course I have to go read it to see what they're talking about :P By the way, I'm not counting reading back over earlier portions of whatever WIP I'm in the middle of. That's just part of the writing process.
🍬 Do you write for multiple fandoms? If yes, what is your favorite fic of yours for each fandom?
From my FFNet profile:
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So yes, I would say so XD
I only have one fic apiece for Wolf's Rain, Castle in the Sky, Death Note, Prince of Persia, Oddworld, Lovely Complex, Tsubasa Chronicle, Professor Layton, Supernatural, Star Wars, WordGirl, Daredevil, Avengers, and Dororo, so that goes without saying. Here are the others:
Final Fantasy X - Someday the Dream Will End My novelization of the game. Please note the date this was published and realize I was sixteen the last time I touched this thing ^^' It is very far beneath my current standards, but it's what got me into writing fanfiction in the first place, and it taught me so much about how stories work, how to write novel-length works, and also a lot of my preferences when it comes to writing and posting fanfic, specifically.
Harry Potter - Change I don't actually like any of my HP fics very much, if I'm being honest. I wrote most of them ages and ages ago, so the writing isn't very good, and I don't think I handled the few good ideas I had with the delicacy they required. So I picked this one because I wrote it much later than all the rest, so it's at least fairly competent. It's just a little exploration of a headcanon about how the broken Hogwarts House system could be tweaked to not be quite so divisive and counter-productive.
Full Metal Alchemist - The Ultimate Sacrifice Oh my gosh, I've written so many FMA fics over the years, it's almost impossible to pick x.x Some of them are really old and not very well written, some have really good ideas but my skill at the time is holding them back, some are quite good but...are they my favorite? In the end, I decided to go with this oneshot because it was burning a hole in my brain for years before I finally got it written down, and I think it still holds up okay seven years later. Basically, it's an AU that explores what it would be like if Ed uses his love for Al as the toll to get Al's body back. Super angsty, lots of tears, it's great! :D
ICO - Piaculum My novelization of the game, written after the official one was published in Japan but a good three years before it was ever translated to English, so that's how I justified writing it ^^' I didn't really know what I was doing. Parts of it are still kind of good, and I like how I dealt with certain themes and drew in connections to Shadow of the Colossus. But yeah, if you want a book that contains the story of my favorite game of all time, just go read Castle in the Mist by Miyuki Miyabe instead.
Legend of Zelda - One Hundred Beats A 100 Themes fic centered around the friendship of Link and Navi. I wrote this whole thing during one of the busiest and most exhausting periods of my life, and I'll always be impressed by past-me for doing that. I also really like some of the stories I came up with for it, especially all the AUs. Most importantly of all, brainstorming one chapter led me to the headcanon that healed the pain of what they did (or didn't do) with Navi in the canon, and for that I will always love this fic.
Sherlock - Memento Mori One of my kidlock oneshots, an AU where John and Sherlock met as kids. This one deals with the death of Sherlock's dog Redbeard (needless to say, it's quite different from the canon). Personally, I think this is the best one of my kidlock fics.
Captain America - Make Me Whole Obviously! This is the fic that took over my life and changed me irrevocably. For the first time ever, after so many years of writing just to get the ideas out and because no one else was doing it, this time I had a story where, even if ten other people came out of the woodwork with the exact same concept who were much better writers than me, I wanted to be the one to write it. I really got the sense that God wanted me to write this story, and I've seen the fruit of that over and over again. And, of course, without this fic I wouldn't be writing the mammoth WIP I'm working on now.
🚦What sort of endings do you prefer to write: ambiguous, bad, happily ever after, etc.?
You know, I've always said that bittersweet endings are my favorite. Endings like LotR, where the good guys win and evil is defeated, but not without great cost. But as I think through some of the endings I've been most satisfied about in my own writing, I think I need to fine-tune that. I think my favorite kind of ending is a particular brand of bittersweet, where it's not exactly "the Shire has been saved, but not for me." It's more like "we've been hurt, and we're not okay yet, but I think we will be." To me, that's the most realistic kind of ending you can get, because that's the way our lives are. (Not that I don't appreciate a good, completely happy ending where everybody lives happily ever after!)
Fanfic Writer Asks
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psylid · 8 months
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heyyyyyy, somehow i've been gone for almost a year again 😔.
just wanted to let anyone who is still around know that it finally happened, and i got into another fandom enough to draw for it--
i've actually been posting a little bit over on my second art tumblr that i made years ago but never used because i never drew anything besides hat films lol.
the fandom is.....it's always s/unny in p/hiladelphia lol. if you happen to be a fan too or just wanna hang out, please do! currently, i am very busy being m/acdennis trash, but i'm hoping now that i've broken the seal, i'll draw for more fandoms like W/WDITS and such.
anyway, come say hi if you're up for it: @ p s y m a c h i n e
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carpisuns · 1 year
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I just wanna say I have an old post of yours saved in my drafts, about being a beginner artist…. I look at it sometimes to give me perspective and reassurance. Thank you. It has inspired me to continue my hobby/passion even if I don’t get many notes rn. I improve and I see it! Thats all that matters. Thank you. I hope I can be that for someone someday.
oh wow 😭 this just warmed my heart—thank you for sharing with me. i don't know what post you're talking about specifically, but i'm so glad that something i said could give you a little extra boost sometimes<3
it's both cool and sort of embarrassing that this blog is a record of my entire art journey. i didn't start learning how to draw until i got into ML and joined tumblr again about 3.5 years ago, so it has my very earliest art as well as my most recent. the other day my sister and i went through my art tag and i was literally crying with laughter at some of those pieces alskjdf (particularly this one). they're sooo bad but they were my best work at the time! as much as i cringe to look at them now, it's nice to remember how far I've come. There are still so many things I struggle with and things i disappoint myself about, but that's normal because I am still growing. no one stops growing. the artists you look up to the most, whose work seems absolutely flawless to you, are still growing.
and YOU are growing too! whether you feel like you are or not. sometimes it takes looking back to realize it. i'm really glad you can see your improvement! honestly, that's a skill too! having a healthy mindset about your own development can take a lot of internal work so I'm really proud of you for that.
(i got very rambly so cut for the rest lol)
and honestly sometimes the improvement isn't even about what the art looks like—it can just be about how you feel about making it. I think one of my biggest improvements in the last year was getting comfortable with drawing and sharing things that are Bad and Ugly! for example:
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the first one i drew 3 years ago, just a few months into learning how to draw. the second one i drew about a month ago. they both have obvious flaws and you could even argue that the old one is better drawn than the newer one. so it's like omg did i not improve at all after over 3 years?? did i actually get worse? lol. no! because a lot of the improvement is internal.
you'll notice that the first one was done in pencil and the second one is pen. it took me years to feel confident enough to sketch in pen because you can't erase! you have to commit to the lines! you can actually see tons of erase marks in the first one, but i didnt even use my white-erase tape at all on the second one. also, the first one is a screen redraw. i was just looking at the image and trying to replicate what i saw the best i can. the second one is new scenes/poses that came from my brain—not that they are very complicated/impressive lol, but there's a difference there. and what you can't see at all is just my attitude about drawing them! i can't particularly remember doing the first one but i guarantee i spent forever on it and was nervous about posting it. second one probably took me 7 mins and i knew it was ugly but i was zero percent embarrassed about that lol. that's progress baby!! cant even tell you how much of a difference it has made to me to let myself draw ugly things. i draw ugly things all the time. some of them get posted online. some of them get shared with one or two friends. some of them get shared with no one. and i've finally learned how to either embrace them as what they are or just shrug it off and go, "you know, this is not it! moving on." blank pages are so intimidating because you have a million opportunities to mess things up, but you also have a million opportunities to explore and learn and experiment and have fun and also to surprise yourself with what you're capable of.
i started out with nothing but a pencil and some powerful blorbo brainrot, and that was enough! that has been enough to power me through years of all the struggles and triumphs that artists go through. it was enough to help me push through every art block and keep drawing to the point that my instincts have improved and things that used to be almost impossible for me are just regular hard lol. i've actually illustrated for a print magazine a few times now, and a few weeks ago i finished my first animatic—which i always wanted to do but didn't have the skill or confidence for.
sorry this is so long, i'm just very passionate about this subject lol!! i just want every growing artist to know that if you keep trying and having fun, improvement is not only possible but inevitable. like, you don't even have to do formal studies if you don't want to. keep looking at art that you like and figuring out what is appealing to you. keep drawing what you feel like drawing. if you're no longer inspired by a piece or it's a little too tough for you right now, it's ok to drop it. you can come back later or never. you have infinite opportunities to make new and better art. and don't forget to give yourself credit for the progress you've already made. it's so hard not to compare yourself to others, and literally everyone—even the best and brightest—feels bad about their work sometimes. but try to compare yourself to your past self and pat yourself on the back for your improvement! it's okay to grow slowly, or in a way that's not so visible on the outside. just remember that you are growing, and you will only get better and better.
also, side note about notes/likes: i know it sucks to feel like your work is not getting attention when you poured a lot into it :( this might sound rich coming from me because i feel that people have been incredibly generous toward my work from the very beginning. but just know that popularity is not really about who "deserves" what, and it's not an accurate reflection of skill either. so if you feel unseen, that doesn't mean your stuff sucks. and you never know what your work might have meant to the people who saw it, even if there aren't that many. art doesn't have to be popular to be meaningful, and it doesn't have to be perfect either.
the world is a little richer and more beautiful because of the ways you are growing and the things you are sharing. so thank you, and please don't stop.
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eggoatt · 9 months
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Hi! I know I left a comment on my reblog, but I felt the need to send something a little more heartfelt. I'm going to try to be normal about this lol
That picture you drew was the first thing I saw this morning, and it has been sitting on one of my monitors ever since, just so I can glance at it any time I want—which quite honestly has been incredibly frequent.
It might seem like I'm a little too excited about this, but it's a huge deal to me. Before I started putting fics out (just south of a year ago now) I hadn't written anything in nearly a decade, so I didn't really have any expectations for what I put out. Of course, I thought about how cool it'd be if someone drew something directly inspired by something I wrote, but I always considered that a kind of a lofty thing? Would be nice if it happened, but I wasn't expecting it. And if it did happen, it'd probably happen much later on when I'm a little better at writing.
All of that to say this is the first time I've inspired anyone to make art from my material. That means so much to me and I am unbelievably grateful to you for that. Also, WOW, it's from someone who has also drawn one of my absolute most favorite SciSet pics ever too?? I adore the way you draw Sunset, so when I saw this was from you I actually gasped so loud my wife heard me from the other room lol.
I mentioned this briefly in my reblog, but I really love the way this picture is composed. When I write scenes, they tend to play out in my mind in full motion with great detail, so what I envision can be incredibly specific, yet I really feel like you managed to capture details I hadn't really put words to. The color scheme in particular—lots of blues and purples, but with just the right amount of saturation to match the pink. Visual arts are not my forte, so I apologize if that doesn't make the most sense.
Lastly, I would like to ask just a couple things:
Would you be alright with me posting a blog about this on fimfic? This might seem like kind of a weird question, but I always like to make sure I clear this kind of thing with someone first. Naturally your username and links to everything would be prominently featured.
May I put this in the author's note of Chapter 8(b)? Just like before, your username and links will be prominently featured alongside it (also, if you'd like to send me a watermarked version, I'd be alright with putting that up too). I just really love this picture and would love it to be the way people visualize that part of the chapter, but I want to make sure that's alright with you first, and I also want to make sure you get the credit you deserve.
Anyway, I won't ramble any longer than necessary. Sorry for throwing a book in your inbox, but thank you for the picture, and for ensuring that no matter what else happens today, I have something to be happy about 🥰
hi!!
we've actually been mutuals for a little while (you reblogged something of mine, and i liked your taste in horse content) but back in april by complete coincidence i stumbled across your fimfic account as well and kind of fell in love with your work. the way you write sunset, your inner voice for her, speaks to me on an insane level to the point where it's informed some of my personal projects (ocs) a bit. i also really enjoyed seeing how rapidly and drastically your writing had improved over the works you had up at the time-- it made me really excited to see what you would do in the future! i even made a new account and started using the site again just so i could keep up :3 if nothing else, you've touched this creature's heart very deeply
like i said in the original tags, i've been meaning to make fanart of this scene for MONTHS and finally releasing those brainworms felt a bit like an exorcism, lol. i'm so happy i hit the mark and brought you as much joy as you've brought me !!!!
to answer your questions!:
sure!! it is fanart For You after all
same as above, go for it :3 (it is actually watermarked already! i prefer making it difficult to see so it's not distracting. take a closer look at sunset's elbow)
silly bonus trivia about the drawing: i needed a visual reference to help me with the poses, and the best ref i found just so happened to be a picture with obama in it. it's not my fault they look so tender
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jacqthehermit · 1 year
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Art Summary and Art vs Artist 2022
2022 Art Ramblings and Other Shenanigans:
A.) I am not speed
Whenever artists wanna try something new to improve their art, we tend to make big drastic changes right away. This can be effective for others but not for everyone. As you can see, my art style is still the same as last year with minimal tweaks.
I decided that if I'm gonna make improvements, I'm gonna do it gradually instead of incorporating them all at once. This can be a big help in maintaining consistency. If the changes were small, we can easily remember and apply them on our next artwork.
“So is it effective? Did your art improve?”
It’s barely noticeable but yes it did. I like the direction in which my art progress is currently going. I am at the point where I actually like my finished work more than my sketch. You know that meme where artists like their sketch more than their finished work bec it looks better? I don’t feel like that anymore and that surely tells something haha.
B.) I failed successfully
Last year, I made a pseudo new years' resolution where I said "I hope I can draw my ships, anime and original stuff" since I mostly did Genshin. Well, I successfully drew my ships, anime and original stuff this year HOWEVER I made less videos lol.
I tried doing 1-2 artworks in between videos but sometimes the artwork took me longer to finish so I wasn't able to make video content afterwards. Another thing was the fact that I sorta dedicated some months tryna help save our country but in the end we failed miserably... Anyways! Let's not talk about that here.
Even though I made less videos, I managed to make 2 impactful videos which contributed a lot to my channel's growth this year. One of them is now my most viewed video. 
C.) I wanna delete everything
Checking other artists' IG accounts makes me want to turn my account into an art only account. But then again I know I'll be having the urge to shitpost and post irl stuff every now and then so as much as I wanted to be one of those mysterious artists who only post/talk about their art, I can't lmao. 
I feel like there's a lot of pressure on the artists who only post art related stuff bec people will always be expecting you to post art or even if they don't, you yourself might think they expect you to. And this kinda contributes to being burnt out somehow. 
Whenever I am on the verge of deleting everything (except art) I remind myself that it's fine even if I ain't one of those cool artists accounts. I am human and I do other human activities too besides drawing. It's like taking a breather I guess. 
"Make 2 accounts, one art and one personal"
Not everyone has the capacity to manage 2 accounts in one platform when you’re already managing other accounts on other platforms. Even if you did, most people who followed you for your art won't give a fuck about your personal one which kinda defeats the purpose haha. 
I know this is not applicable to all artists, especially the professionals/veterans. But for hobbyists like me, maybe you should consider this. I am not forcing you to post personal stuff bec I know not everyone likes that. I'm just saying that it's important to emphasize every once in a while to your audience that you are human too and not just an art producing machine. 
D.) I miss time traveling
Long time ago, during my Deviantart days, I used to type a bunch of shit in the description box of my artworks. Then came the Tumblr era where I continued to blog my heart out. When these platforms "died" and Twitter and IG migration happened, I slowly stopped doing this without me noticing it. 
I still say things on Twitter but since there's a limit and making threads is a pain in the ass, I ain't as expressive as before. And these platforms (Twitter and IG) made me adapt to its "culture" of short tweets/captions or sometimes nothing at all, just pictures. Which was great! I mean not everyone needs to know your entire business on the interweb right lol. 
But as time passed by, I began to realize that I love backreading (I dunno if this is the right term) whatever shit I used to talk about in the past. It's actually amusing no matter how cringe, happy or lonely it was. However, since transferring to Twt and IG, I can no longer go back to a certain period in my life to reminisce what the hell I was thinking, doing and feeling that time because I got nothing to backread and that made me kinda sad?
Even though I am still bad with words, I am trying my best to resurrect my old self here in IG (just less cringe and more careful this time). Don’t worry I am not going to make long posts everyday lmao.
"Nobody's gonna read all that"
True. HOWEVER my future self would and I think that's more important. It's the same as writing in your diary, you write for yourself first and foremost.
“Why don’t you just go back to Tumblr to blog”
My time on Tumblr has passed. Whatever good or bad memories I have there, I just wanna keep them as they are and no longer add some haha. I still love the platform and post my artworks there tho.
Conclusion:
Art progress and channel growth did great this year. Tho I fell short in terms of quantity of my video content, the quality compensated. I am not gonna make any pseudo new year’s resolutions this year. All I can say is I have a lot of ideas and I hope I can execute them.
Before I end this, I just wanna say hi to my future self. I know you’re reading this again for the nth time. Maybe you’re feeling sentimental or just bored as usual haha. Nevertheless I hope you’re doing well.
Happy New Year everyone! Stay safe and see you on my next video~
Jacq out.
P.S. Fuck AI generated images. 
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