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awkward-and-indecisive · 3 years

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First Day Assistance.

Summary - Y/N is new on The Boys set, nervous and determined to do her job right until she meets Jensen Ackles and her mouth loses its filter so he decides to teach her a good lesson.

Pairing - Jensen Ackles x Female!Reader

Warnings - SMUT 18+, Unprotected sex (y’all are better than this), Oral sex (f receiving), fingering, semi-public sex, tiny bit of fluff, Jensen in that damn Soldier Boy suit, this is just pure filth with no plot in sight

Word Count - 2547

A/N - Blame @msmarvelouswinchester for this and of course Mr. Jensen Snackles who I’m pretty sure wants to kill me. Apparently this is what she and I do, put thoughts into each other’s head until we can’t do anything but write them. Till three in the morning🤦🏽‍♀️

This was also Beta’d by @msmarvelouswinchester , so double thank you 😘

This is a work of fiction and for entertainment purposes. I don’t mean any harm to anyone in their family.

This is my first ever fic so please tell me what you think about it. FEEDBACK IS HIGHLY APPRECIATED!!!

Happy Reading!!!

*****

It was your first day on the set of The Boys and you were excited for this new opportunity. You had to start small with being a P. A. but now you were looking forward to working on the third season of such an amazing show. You were ready to work hard and were determined to make it big in the industry.

But all those plans flew straight out the window when you looked at Jensen fucking Ackles in his Soldier Boy suit looking like a sex god. You probably had stopped breathing and only inhaled sharply when you became a little lightheaded. Your thighs squeezed together, your pussy clenched and you could feel wetness pooling between your legs.

It was rather directly proportional - the dampness of your panties and the amount of time you looked at him. The more you stared at all the little details, the more wet you became. You knew it was highly unprofessional to have such thoughts about one of the leading actors but it was like your body had stopped listening to you and all the rational and moral thoughts had ceased to have any effect on you.

The way the muscles of his broad shoulders rippled underneath the spandex of his suit as he moved. The way the suit gave a little peek of his neck. The way his freckles shone through the little peek. The way his shoulder to waist ratio fucked you up. The way that knife holster on his hip made you go feral with lust. The way you wanted to come undone on those fingerless gloves till you couldn’t anymore. The way that suit hugged his curves, especially that perky ass.

You were busy thirsting like a dehydrated bitch in the middle of the Sahara, lost in your own filthy thoughts for who knows how long, when a snapping noise brought you back to the land of living. You blinked a few times to clear your head of its dirty thoughts and blurry vision. When you looked back up, you saw Jensen Snackles, as Sony Pictures had oh so proudly named him, standing in front of you and snapping his fingers.

Confusion flooded your expressions but before you could open your mouth to ask what he wanted, he cut you off, “Do we have a problem here, miss? Is there something on my face or what? Because you keep staring at me and I can’t do my job like that!” He said in an annoyed tone.

That’s when you looked around and saw that the set was deserted except for you and the Adonis. The director must have called for a break if there were too many bad takes. You felt a little guilty for wasting everyone’s time but before you could apologise, he cut you off again, “There she goes again. What is going on inside your head?” He clipped, waving a hand in front of your face.

You didn’t know what it was. The pent up sexual frustration of not having had sex in months or how rudely Snackles here was constantly cutting you off, with the fact that no one should look like that or that you couldn’t get your mind off of him but you snapped at him.

“Listen Mr. Sna- Mr. Ackles, firstly, I don’t have a problem with you and I’m not staring at you and secondly, you are not letting me work and are distracting me.” You quipped.

You knew in an instant you were fired for the way you had talked to him but now that you had spoken your mind and the words had left your mouth, you couldn’t take them back. So you decided to stand your ground.

“I am not letting you work?!” He scoffed, cocking one of his eyebrows.

“Yes!! You think it’s easy for me to concentrate when you roam around looking like sex on legs.” You said, waving a hand up and down his body.

Your eyes widened and your hand flew to your mouth when you heard the words that had left your mouth. A cocky smirk grew on his face and he took a step forward as you mirrored his move in the opposite direction.

“I think that implies you were staring at me.” He chuckled, stepping forward again until your back hit the wall and the clipboard and the walkie you had in your hands fell. You were caged by him against the wall, looking like a prey meeting the eyes of its predator just before it’s death.

You looked down, too ashamed and weak to meet his burning gaze. You turned your head towards the exit and said, “I’m sorry Mr. Ackles. I should leave.”

“Nuh-uh,” he tutted, “Sex on legs huh?” He asked cockily.

He was dangerously close to you. You could feel his warm breath fanning over your face. You let out an involuntary whimper and if it was possible, his face turned more cocky.

“What other thoughts swim around in that pretty little head of yours Miss..” he trailed off, his hand coming to push a stray piece of hair behind your ear.

You cleared your throat before half whispering and half whimpering, “Y/n Y/l/n.”

“Y/n Y/l/n.” He said, gruffly, as if trying to see how it would sound from his mouth and god did it sound so sinful. “Interesting name but I guess it makes up for your interesting personality. So as I was saying, what other thoughts about me do you have? Other than sex on legs of course.”

You couldn’t focus enough to reply as you were busy staring at his plump lips and that goddamn beard that gave you all kinds of thoughts you wouldn’t think in your wildest dreams.

“You’re staring again, sweetheart.” He chuckled and the vibrations of it could be felt by you as he pressed his body to yours and caged you between his arms that you knew from his Instagram video he had spent some time working on.

You instantly looked up into his gorgeous green orbs and found yourself lost in them. You opened your mouth a few times but nothing came out, looking like a fish out of the water. Words had left you. It was like a small child trying to speak but not knowing how to.

He closed the distance between his mouth and your ear and growled, “What’s wrong, sweetheart? Cat got your tongue?”

Your whole body shuddered and you pushed your thighs together to get some much needed friction. Jensen seemed to notice your reaction and pushed his thigh between your legs.

“Oh so that’s what this is about. I see nobody has fucked this tight, little pussy in a while and that’s why you’re snapping at people and undressing me with your eyes.” He said in a low, deep voice that had your pussy clenching around nothing.

A wave of arousal flooded your panties and you knew they were ruined a long time ago but now it felt like they had simply disintegrated.

He continued, “But don’t you worry, unfortunately I know what it feels like and I think I would very much like to help you with that.” He winked and if it wasn’t for the wall and him caging you in, your knees would have buckled and you would be a horny mess on the floor.

You noticed your breathing had become heavier and your lips had parted, your hands were balled in fists at your sides, your pussy throbbed in need and your whole body was shaking with lust and desire.

Jensen leaned down to look into your eyes and spoke softly, “Hey, if you don’t want this tell me right away.”

That seemed to snap you out of your sensory overload and you quickly nodded frantically.

“I want this. I want you to fuck me, Jensen.” You sputtered quickly before he could take his offer back.

The moment your consent reached his ears, the beautiful greens of his eyes were eclipsed by the black clouds of lust. He crashed his lips on yours in a bruising kiss that was all teeth and tongue. It was driven by pure lust and need and want and desire.

His hands were on you pushing and pulling and mapping out your entire body. Everything felt too much and not enough at the same time. When the need for air became too much you both parted, panting like you had just ran a marathon. He pushed his partly gloved hands underneath your jumper and pulled it off you leaving your upper body in the black tank top you were wearing.

His mouth moved towards your jaw, nipping and nibbling at the skin there while his hands squeezed your ass. His mouth went to your neck, to the spot behind your ear that drove you wild and sucked. And oh god did he suck hard. You were pretty sure you’d be sporting a big purple hickey but you couldn’t care less.

He kissed the valley of your breasts and suckled one of your clothed nipples as your back arched off the wall and you shamelessly let out a loud moan. He pushed your tank top up as he kneeled down, leaving open mouthed kisses all over your stomach.

He pushed your leggings and your panties down in one go and both of you were shocked. You, to see that your panties hadn’t disintegrated and him, to see how wet you were. He looked up at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes and before you could comprehend what it meant, he dove inside your pussy like a starving man.

He let out a groan when he tasted you, gripping your thighs so tight that you were sure there'd be bruises there. You tangled your hands in his hair, keeping him in place but also giving yourself something to hold on to.

All your wet dreams and imaginations didn’t do justice to how delicious the burn of his beard felt between your thighs. He fucked you with his tongue and then went on to suck at your clit like a child sucking an ice lolly after playing for hours in the summer heat.

To say that you were a panting, moaning, whimpering, writhing and blubbering mess would be an understatement. You were at the mercy of this man’s mouth and you thanked your lucky stars for it. One of his hands left your thigh and came to encircle your core. Desperate to come, you started grinding on his face.

He pushed two of his thick fingers in and groaned at how easily they fit cause you were practically dripping at this point. He fucked you on his fingers hard all the while nibbling and sucking your clit. He moved up your body till he was face to face with you all the while thrusting his fingers into you at a merciless pace.

He crashed his lips on yours and pushed his tongue inside your mouth. You moaned at tasting yourself on his tongue. He moved his talented mouth towards your ear and nibbled on the lobe.

“You’re close, aren’t you? I can feel you squeezing my fingers. Come on Y/n. Come for me.” He whispered in your ear.

Like he had a remote control to your body, you came. And you came so hard that you saw stars. Your vision went white, your body went slack and you felt like you were filled to the brim with pleasure.

When you came back to your senses, the first thing you felt was his cock, hard and heavy, lined with your core, your legs wrapped around his waist, his hands on your ass supporting your weight and crushing you between his body and the wall. He looked at you to see if there was any hint of discomfort but when he couldn’t find any, he kissed you while pushing his cock deep inside you.

You had to admit that he was bigger than any guy you’ve been with and the stretch was just oh so good. He kissed you, nibbling on your lower lip til you got used to his girth. You clawed at his shoulders and the now not so short hair at the nape of his neck.

“Fu-uck Jensen. Move please. F-fuck me.” You begged not caring how desperate you sounded.

Jensen let out an animalistic growl upon hearing your words and pulled all the way out, only leaving the tip in and slammed back into you in one thrust. You let out a cry when his cock hit your g-spot with fucking precision.

He kept up his deadly pace, pounding into you so hard you were sure you’d feel it for days, that had the coil in your lower belly wound tight in no time. He hid his face in the crook of your neck. Only the sounds of his heavy breathing and grunts ,which to be honest should be illegal, and your moans and panting could be heard around the large set.

“Look at you,” He grunted in your ear, “taking my cock so good. You’re so tight. Fuck.”

You couldn’t help but clench your pussy hearing those words pouring out of his mouth.

“I’m not gonna last long. Come for me one more time Y/n. Come on my cock. Squeeze it.” He grunted, pushing one of his hands between your bodies and rubbing rough circles on your clit.

You came with a scream of his name. Your orgasm was so fucking intense that you knew in that moment no one will ever be able to make you come so hard other than this man. He fucked you through your orgasm. A few hard thrusts later he stilled deep inside you and came with a grunt that you’d remember till the day you die. He spilled hot ropes of cum and you milked his cock for all its worth.

When you both came down from your highs, you untangled yourselves from each other and cleaned yourselves the best you could. You quickly and quietly got dressed, the air filling with awkwardness.

When you got dressed, you bent down to pick up your stuff which had fallen and turned to leave when suddenly Jensen caught your wrist and turned you around so that now he was caged between you and the wall. He kissed you and it was all sweet and soft this time while you wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned your body into his.

“Don’t you dare think this was a one time thing. You and me. Dinner at my place at 8. Sounds good?” He asked, sincerely and sweetly.

Your brows furrowed and you opened your mouth to reply but before you could the walkie in your hand came to life and a voice sounded from the other end, “Jensen Ackles is needed now at the wardrobe. Jensen Ackles is needed now at the wardrobe.”

“Looks like I have to go.” Jensen said and pecked your lips once.

He walked backwards and shouted, “My place at 8. Don’t forget.” He gave you a wink before finally going out of your sight.

You stood there confused as to what had just happened in the last hour of your life.

*****

#jensen x reader #jensen ackles x reader #jensen x you #jensen x y/n #jensen ackles x you #jensen ackles x y/n #supernatural #jensen ackles #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfiction #dean winchester #jensen fic #jensen ackles fic #rpf #smut #spn rpf #supernatural fic #supernatural fanfic #spn fic

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rukakikuchi · 4 years

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LOONAverse timeline theory (REDUX!)

So... Yeah. This is something I’ve thought about doing for a while now. It’s been a little over a year now since I started getting into LOONA and analyzing the lore, and my views on the timeline have changed slightly.

Nothing major, but I still wanted to do an updated version of the timeline since now feels like a good point in doing so.

In the year since becoming an Orbit, I’ve used the theories of others as well as my own to get a better understanding of the story of the LOONAverse. This has led me to questioning and critiquing certain theories, and even going back and revising my previous views on the lore, and seeking out other interpretations to come to a new conclusion.

There are some theories from my old timeline analysis which I feel are outdated, since I no longer agree with certain points, and other elements which I want to bring more into question.

For those who may or may not know, I’m on the autism spectrum. And ever since I started listening to their music, LOONA has been one of my most recent special interests. I got hyperfixated on the story that was being presented, and I wanted to analyze all the pieces of the puzzle to get the bigger picture in my head.

With all that being said, let’s go ahead and get this started.

Part 1 - The [+ +] timeline

I think this is the part of the LOONAverse story we can get the clearest view on. This encompasses everything from pre-debut, starting with Heejin, all the way up to Hi High.

It was the first chapter, or the first major story arc of the LOONAverse. We were introduced to the characters of the 12 girls, the worlds they inhabited, their individual conflicts, and an established main goal: finding each other and breaking the loop, an enigmatic force that’s opposing them.

Here’s my breakdown of the timeline of events:

This isn’t a perfect charting of the timeline, since we can assume certain events overlap or run parallel with each other, or take place in a very close amount of time between each other.

Part 2 - The [X X] timeline

Just going to refer to this as the “new” timeline. I believe this is the current timeline we are in in the story, starting from “Butterfly”. This is where Go Won created a butterfly effect by going to Iceland, Haseul’s location, and changed events of the timeline.

For now, let’s assume that everything before love4eva/Let Me In still happens, since that is the point where Go Won changes the timeline. Here is what the new current timeline looks like:

Because of Go Won altering the timeline, the events after love4eva/Let Me In never happen and certain events that occur in the [+ +] timeline have been altered.

ViVi doesn’t meet ⅓ and is still an android, though she presumably had found a way to become human again by “Why Not”.

Yeojin doesn’t get lost in the endless forest.

Olivia no longer resents Yves since she was not abandoned. Her journey to loving herself begins anew through “So What” and “Why Not”.

Odd Eye Circle has yet to reunite. However, we see that Choerry was with Hyunjin in “So What”, and the girls are rediscovering the powers of Odd Eye Circle in “Why Not”.

Part 3 - Updated theories

This is where I want to bring up some previous points I made in my last timeline analysis and how they have changed.

No one killed ViVi

I am no longer sided with the theory that Olivia or any of the members were involved in ViVi's death. Instead, I think she could’ve become an android after an accident. (See my “How did ViVi become an android?” theory.)

Yves does not lure Yeojin into the forest

I think something else might’ve happened that caused Yeojin to wander off, but I have seen a theory that Yeojin was in Eden and the “frog prince” she saw was Yves. I don’t think this was the case, since they have also said that the frog prince represents Yeojin’s “boyfriend” in the LOONAverse, but it’s an interesting perspective nonetheless. (Check out fairypinch’s video on Youtube.)

Side note: The “forest” that Yeojin has been described to be lost in has been referred to as the “endless forest” aka “the Moebius forest”.

I watched a video that was part of a “complete” lyrical analysis of LOONA’s discography (unfortunately, they’ve only done up to Olivia’s solo debut T T but it’s a very interesting watch regardless; the channel is Ross Kpop Stats.) and based on their theory, I think Yeojin could’ve heard a song calling to her and wandered into the forest.

Yves meets Choerry prime, not mirror Choerry

Mirror Choerry cannot come into Choerry prime’s world; however, she can still communicate with Choerry due to her Odd Eye powers connecting her to the mirror world.

I do still think, however, that Mirror Choerry did see Go Won, since she was upside-down and I previously theorized that what we saw in “One & Only” could be a dream. (See my dream interpretation analysis on Go Won’s MV.)

Olivia’s heart was not “swallowed”

I’ve begun to think that Jinsoul’s rap in “Egoist” might not be referring to her herself “swallowing” Olivia’s heart. It might be Jinsoul acting as shadow Olivia (as I’ve theorized Olivia has a split personality; link here). Regardless, there’s still some significance that they chose Jinsoul for the rap.

Also, she doesn’t wish for the other yyxy members’ hearts to merge with her. When we see her bite the apple in that same video, it is showing her finally decide to reject Eden and be free of it completely.

yyxy are not “one” as in they are literally one person; they are “one” as a unit and a part of LOONA as a whole.

No broken cassette tapes

Loominosity debunked the idea that ViVi’s tape case was cracked; it’s just tree branches behind ViVi. (Link here)

No diverging timelines either; The Carol 2.0 is just a cute holiday video with ViVi, Choerry, and Yves!

Everything from Butterfly to Why Not is one timeline

Essentially, Butterfly showed us the catalyst of LOONA’s “butterfly effect” to change the timeline. We see the result of that in “So What”, which has many parallels to “Hi High”, and “Why Not”.

I’m also beginning to theorize that Heejin actually jumped forward in time. She could’ve temporarily escaped the loop (as we see in the #1 teaser) and fell back into “So What”.

This also means that Go Won would retain her memories of the previous timeline, while everyone else has forgotten them.

I’ll admit, a lot of my old ideas felt like reaches since I was still learning about the lore. Now that I’ve spent time becoming more familiar with the group and their music, I think I’ve come to a clearer vision of the story.

So with all of that said, here is my new breakdown of the current storyline...

The LOONAverse started out as stable, but then something caused it to become unstable. This resulted in the universe becoming a Moebius strip, separating three worlds (Earth, Middle Earth, and Eden), and creating a time loop.

We don’t know when or how this happened; all we know is that the loop exists and it is a force that is preventing LOONA from reaching their goal.

At some point, Odd Eye Circle was formed with Kim Lip, Jinsoul, and Hyunjin, and were given the powers of the Odd Eye.

In Eden, Yves finds and eats the forbidden fruit, where she’s given knowledge of her fate and of the loop. She decides to rebel and travels to Earth, where she meets ViVi.

Shortly after, however, ViVi gets in an accident, nearly dies, and is converted to an android, where her memories get messed up and she forgets Yves.

Hyunjin receives a mysterious bracelet from an unknown sender, and tries to search for answers.

Odd Eye Circle finds the cherry that can send them to Earth. Jinsoul leaves one for Choerry, and when she eats it, she and Hyunjin switch places.

Jinsoul decides to go to Earth to look for Hyunjin, and meets Olivia Hye. She gets trapped on Earth and loses her powers and memories.

Heejin, a normal girl in Paris, is bored of her repetitive daily routine and wishes for her life to be filled with color. In search of some excitement, she decides to go travelling.

Two of Yves’ friends in Eden, Chuu and Go Won, decide to reject Eden and join in her plans to escape to Earth. They meet Kim Lip, who was searching for Jinsoul, and it’s revealed Go Won made the bracelet that was sent to Hyunjin.

Now, Hyunjin lives in Tokyo, with no memory of the Middle Earth or Odd Eye Circle. She meets Heejin and the two become friends. They both befriend Haseul and Yeojin, who are like sisters. ViVi meets Jinsoul in Hong Kong.

During Christmas time, Haseul finds Chuu when she first fell from Eden and wakes her up.

Haseul then has a dream where she finds and kills her doppelganger.

Yves, Chuu, and Go Won escape from Eden, leaving behind Olivia Hye, who feels resentment and anger for being abandoned.

ViVi meets Heejin, Hyunjin, and Haseul, and eventually becomes human. However, they learn Yeojin has wandered off into an “endless forest” and went missing, so they cast a spell of love to find her.

Olivia Hye falls to Earth, and learns to love herself and let go of her anger. She then meets Heejin after she went into the endless forest and learned about the loop. She convinces Olivia to join the others on Earth, and eats the forbidden fruit to be free of Eden.

Jinsoul regains her powers and memories, and Kim Lip senses Choerry and pursues her. They revitalize their powers during an eclipse and learn of the loop.

Kim Lip helps Choerry find the mirrors where she awakens her powers, connects with the mirror world through her reflection (her shadow/mirror world counterpart), and learns of the loop. They reunite with Jinsoul to merge their moons and complete the Odd Eye Circle.

Choerry meets Yves when she first fell from Eden and helps her escape by meeting Go Won in her dreams and leaving the roses for them in the forest.

After all the girls gather together on Earth, they try to break free of the loop, but fail as the time loop resets.

In order to change the events of the timeline and break the loop, Go Won stays behind in Eden while Olivia takes her place. She then goes to the dreamworld/mirror world to stop Haseul from killing her doppelganger and changing her fate.

Due to Go Won’s butterfly effect, the timeline begins to change. Heejin temporarily breaks out of the loop before falling back in and chaos ensues. The girls start a rebellion in their efforts to break free. They see the moon burn and meteors fall to Earth.

After the chaos, the Odd Eye Circle members start to regain their powers, and the group holds a midnight festival in celebration for the rise of a new moon.

...

And there you have it! Like I said, this may not be perfect, there are definitely parts of the story I want to re-analyze, and I’m sure whenever LOONA make their next comeback, it’s going to lead to some very interesting developments.

But I also wanted to do this since some of my theories have changed. The LOONAverse is so fascinating because it can lend itself to so many different theories and viewpoints, that it even challenges the viewer’s own thoughts on the story.

I hope you guys found this interesting. Feel free to share your own thoughts and opinions as well! Have a good day and, as always...

Stan LOONA! 🌙✨

#LOONA #LOONAverse #Heejin #Hyunjin #Haseul #Yeojin #ViVi #Kim Lip #Jinsoul #Choerry #Yves #Chuu #Go Won #Olivia Hye #KPop #Music #Theory #Analysis

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #444

“the monster you made is wearing the crown / i’ll be the king, and you’ll be the clown”

Do you take off from school, or work for your birthday? Ha, I used to try to talk Mom into letting me stay home from school... It only sometimes worked. Have you ever created ‘open when’ letters for someone? No. That'd be cute for an s/o, though. What is the best thing about being in the relationship you’re in right now or about being single? Not having to fear my partner leaving because of the struggles I'm going through. Not having to worry about not being enough for another person, because I'm not even enough for myself. Do you have a favourite painting? Not by a historical artist, no, but there is a piece by a deviantART artist called "Denialism" (by NukeRooster/Tatchit, if you're interested) that I adore so much I've actually gotten her permission to get it tattooed one day when I can afford a brilliant artist to do it. What are some of the best life hacks you know? /shrug What makes you smile without fail? MARK LAUGHING laj;sdkafjwlk;erj Do you know what you’ll be getting your loved ones for the holidays this winter? No clue. That's still a whiles off. What is your biggest short-term goal (within the next month)? Just lose a decent amount of weight for a month's time. What will your next tattoo be of? It depends on what cash I have available, really. As much as it sucks, I think my next tat is a whiles off because I just have more pressing things to pay for. Has anyone very close to you ever died? Besides pets, the closest human to me that's ever died was Jason's mom. If you were throwing your significant other/best friend a themed party, what would the theme be? Uh, Frieza-related, obviously. Do you feel prepared for the apocalypse? I don't believe in the apocalypse in the biblical sense of it being determined by an ultimate power, so this isn't something I really think about. Whenever humanity ends, it ends. I don't have a say, so I may as well not obsess over it. Do you think you will have children naturally, adopt, or forgo having children altogether? I'm not having kids, but if I did, I know that either I'd have to give birth to them or my hypothetical wife would for me to feel *properly* connected to them as a mother should. Oh, or if my male partner had a kid from a previous relationship, but I'd have to be REALLY in love with him to feel like that child is also my own. Do you take pictures of yourself on a daily basis? Oh god no. Do you believe in angels? No, but rather just spirits. Is there anything in your past that you used to regret, but now you don’t? Hm, maybe? Does your knee hurt? My knees always hurt. Has anyone ever called you sexy? Yes. Do you like raisins? omg nooooo What is your favorite bug? Butterflies! :') Do you like Scrabble? Sure, it's fun for a board game. Do you have a printer? Yes. What is your favorite food? Cheeseburgers or pizza, probably. I know, so American. Have you ever overheard a conversation you weren’t supposed to? Yes. Do you like ants? They are very fascinating when you really think about it, but I still find them incredibly annoying. Did you like the movie Antz? I loved it as a kid. Have you ever drank goat milk? No, I don't believe so. What’s your favorite video game? Silent Hill 2 and Shadow of the Colossus. Do you like cats? I love kitties!!! :') Are goldfish your favorite fish? No. I think my favorite is probably the lionfish. Do you like vanilla pudding? No. I only like chocolate pudding. What is your opinion on gay marriage? I 100% support it and would fight to the death for it. What is your opinion on gay adoption? Don't even fucking look at me if you see a problem with a parentless child finding a home with two people in love. Who was the last person you had a crush on? Sara. What’s the most expensive piece of clothing you own? I have zero clue. Why do you drive the car you have right now? I don't have my own car. Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Omg yes and it sucks. Are you friends with your neighbors? No. What is your current desktop picture? One of my favorite pictures of my late pup, Teddy. What’s the coolest thing you’ve seen out the window of an airplane? Mountains! Does your neighbor have any pets? *shrug* Have you ever swam in a mountain lake? No, but that sounds VIBIN'. Has a cat/dog ever thrown up on your bed? alksdjflk;a;jdfalwe yes Have you ever had a concussion? One or two. Do you know anyone who has a pet gecko? Not currently, I think? I want a fat-tailed gecko, though. :( Would you ever go bear hunting? I wouldn't dare hunt ANY animal. Have you ever seen two movies at the theater in a row? I have not. How many teenagers do you know who have babies? I know no teen personally that has a child, but there were some pregnant students in high school. If you could keep your parents or trade them for other parents, which would you pick? I would NEVER change my parents. Is there a piggy bank in the room you’re in? It's not a "piggy" bank, per se, but my sister got me a skull one that she says is for my tattoo funds. :') How many sets of twins do you know? Two, off the very top of my head. If you have younger siblings, are you very protective of them? Yes. No one fucks with her for as long as I live. If you have older siblings, are they very protective of you? Not especially. Who is your favorite Disney Channel person? Uhhh, maybe Raven Symone? How many pets do you have? Just two. Do you think you will be successful in life? No. :/ What do you have pierced? My earlobes, twice, and my bottom lip. I have been dyinnnnggg for some new ones lately. :/ Does techno annoy you as much as it annoys me? No, I actually enjoy quite a bit of techno. What’s your comfort food? Ice cream. Do you like paranormal stuff? YES. Do you have a favorite stuffed toy? Rebel, my adorable meerkat plush from Jason, and Brownie, my moose from Cabela's. What’s the most exciting project you were given? In a way, my senior project since you got to choose your own topic, but I dreaded the presentation. Do you have a good sense of direction? Not at ALL. What are your favorite colour for a cat? Orange! If you had to live your life carrying a shield, what would its design be? This is gonna sound super, super cheesy, but probably a heart to symbolize how love should and could block the effects of hate and general evil and that we should pursue that instead of violence. Out of all the cancers, which one do you think needs to find a cure first? Oh god, they all do. If I had to pick one though, it'd be one of the inevitably fatal kinds, like pancreatic. What are your general afterthoughts when you’ve finished a book? I feel accomplished for actually reading to a story's completion. How many pairs of glasses (not sunglasses) have you owned? Two, I think? What color is your flash-drive? Hot pink. Have you ever built a sand castle? Yeah. How many houses have you lived in? Six. One I have no memory of. Do you shut off the water while you brush your teeth? Yes. What video game should everybody play at least once? Amnesia: A Machine for PIgs for the symbolism. It blows my mind how most horror fans hate it; it's like they totally miss the point. 100 years from now, what modern things will people look back on and say, “WTF?” Hopefully things like homophobia, racism, misogyny, concepts like those. What is impossible to understand until it happens to you? Mental illness, to name only one thing. What fictional food item from a television show, cartoon, movie, or video game have you always wanted to try? Hm. There's a lot that has looked super good, really. What’s something that gets much more hate than it deserves? Nickelback, lmao. What phrases or sayings drive you crazy? "Everything happens for a reason," "it could be worse/some people have it worse," "it's all part of God's plan," "just think positive"... a lot of stuff. Do you have a deviantART? I do, even though Eclipse made it fucking suck. I only really stay because I cling to the dying hope of being at least somewhat successful on there, and I enjoy keeping tabs on the artwork of the hundreds of people I watch there. Who is your favorite character in your favorite movie? Mufasa, even if he doesn't last long in the movie. :''''''( Have you ever been to Germany? No, but I'd love to! What is your favorite holiday? Christmas. Have you ever been ice skating? No. The blades on the skates scare me. Have you ever taken a karate class? No. Do you have any nieces or nephews? I have a lot, if you include my half-siblings' kids. Do you own an Xbox? Nah, I've always been a PlayStation gal. Would you date someone who’s well-known for cheating? Nope. Would you break up with someone your parents didn’t approve of? No. I'd consider their reasons, but ultimately, it's about me loving the person. Could you be in a relationship without sex? Yeah, sure. It's not ideal, but I mean if the other person is just very opposed, I'm certainly not forcing them. Emotional intimacy is more important to me, anyway. Have you ever been “friendzoned”? Yep. :') Briefly, anyway. Jason tried for my sake, but it was VERY short-lived by no one's fault but my own because all I know how to do is fuck shit up when it comes to him. Which “famous couple” is your favorite? LOOK Mark and Amy are FUCKIN GEMS Have you ever “destroyed” a relationship? Pretty fucking much. Are you the “dominant” or the “submissive” part in a relationship? I'm submissive by nature. Do you think Valentine’s Day is overrated? No, I think it's a cute holiday. Which do you feel is worse of the two to smoke: weed or tobacco? Well, weed has more carcinogens, but at least it has actual health benefits. Who did you last see that you haven’t seen in ages? *shrug* Are you photogenic at all? God no.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''necessary evil'' by motionless in white (ft. jonathan davis)

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ask-runaan-anything · 4 years

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Bedtime stories? 🥺💤

You’re asking an assassin to lull you to sleep? I admire your courage, and I will do my softest to live up to your expectations.

All tucked in? Here we go, then.

Once upon a full Moon, a young Moonshadow found her way to a secret pool in the Forest. When the Moon rose to its height, she looked into the pond and saw a figure looking back at her. At first, she thought it was her own reflection, for it looked much like her. But when she raised her hand to wave hello, the figure didn’t. It waited a moment, and then it waved back to her.

Startled, the elfling ran away and spent the next month wondering if she’d imagined things. But curiosity got the best of her, for she knew it was not good to let her fears rule her. And so she sneaked back to the pool the next full Moon, hoping to learn the truth.

The figure was waiting for her. She knelt and bent close to the water, and the figure did too. They studied each other from very close and found that they were in fact very similar, though also distinct.

“Who are you?” the girl asked.

But the figure did not answer, and it faded into mist.

The girl worried that she had upset her mirror image, and for the next month, she was sad. But she couldn’t resist the pull of the pool, and so she returned once again, under the full Moon’s light. This time, she vowed to be silent.

The figure came once again, and it danced at the edge of the pool. The girl did her best to copy the dance, to show her friendliness. But she didn’t know all the steps, and she faltered and stepped into the pool on accident. When the ripples smoothed out, the figure had gone again.

Over the next month, the girl cried herself to sleep some nights. But as the Moon waxed once more, her courage grew, and she went out to meet the figure again, hoping to apologize. The figure pressed its hand against the water’s surface, and the girl did, too. She could almost feel the other’s warmth, and though they weren’t truly touching, the full Moon made if seem as if they were.

During the following month, she was very happy, and when the Moon grew full once more, she took poetry and songs and pictures to show her new friend. She wasn’t sure if the figure could see them, but she pretended it could, and she talked and talked, sharing all that she loved.

The next month, an eclipse turned the full Moon red, and an earthquake shook the pool, and the girl fled in confusion and fear. She stayed away for months, not wishing to anger the spirits. And she became very sad, for she missed her friend very much. She thought of her friend when she passed flowers and cute little forest creatures, and she wished that she could share more with her. But the pool didn’t feel safe anymore.

She had just about given up on ever seeing her friend again, when one night, a blue Moon rose, and she felt pulled to the pool after many months. Afraid of what she might find--and afraid of finding nothing--she approached the pool with tears in her eyes, but courage in her heart.

Her mysterious friend was waiting. The girl was so excited that she plunged her hand into the pool, and she felt strong fingers take hers. She pulled hard, and suddenly her friend splashed up onto the edge of the pool next to her.

“There you are,” her friend said, embracing her. “I finally found you.”

“I wasn’t sure you were real,” the girl confessed.

Her friend hugged her tightly and pressed their foreheads together. “I’m real. And so are you.” She took off her necklace and clasped it in between their hands. When she opened their hands again, the necklace had become two. She hung one around the girl’s neck and said, “Now you know.”

“I’ll never forget,” the girl said.

They sat and talked as the blue Moon arched overhead, with their arms wrapped tightly around each other and their necklaces aglow. But soon, the Moon began to dip, and the friends had to part.

Though the girl must wait for the next blue Moon to meet her dear friend again, she holds that necklace in her hand every night as she drifts to sleep and tells herself, “I’ll never forget.”

And she doesn’t.

Sleep well, little shadow. *forehead kiss, turns off mushroom lamp*

#ask runaan #runaan answers #bedtime stories #sleep well #story time

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derl30 · 3 years

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ALTERED STATES REVIEW TIME!

OK, this tumblr is, today, a vehicle for me to review ALTERED STATES. And you (the one person who stumbled on this review two-hundred years from n- oh who am I kidding, when the aliens from A.I. who show up to thaw out Haley Joel Osment and the teddy bear who was the real hero of that movie find this) should be very excited about this. Because this movie is insane. And highly entertaining.

Yes, the movie poster looks like ass. If I told you this was a movie where William Hurt (not the William Hurt from that awful 90's Lost in Space remake, or the one who slept through an entire performance as Duke Leto in the Syfy miniseries of Dune. This is before the body snatchers got him) took ayahuasca and got in a isolation tank and it blew his mind so hard he started devolving into a neanderthal and creating dimensional portals and he couldn't stop because he was addicted to finding the truth of existence... Well you wouldn't get that from this poster, would you? So let's move on. Shall we?

The film opens in 1967 with William Hurt's character, psychopathologist Edward Jessup, already immersed in a sensory deprivation tank, whilst his colleague and “buddy” Bob Balaban (he's just Bob Balaban in everything I'm not giving you his character's name look it up yourself if it's bugging you so much) oversees.

Now, you may notice I put buddy in quotes. The reason for that is that Jessup is a self-obsessed ass who seemingly has no reason to be around other people unless he can expound to them one of his various monologues. Bob Balaban barely gets a word in edgewise throughout the entire film. Bob Balaban.

See, Jessup loves the sensory deprivation tank experience. Unsurprisingly, as it allows him to be completely alone with himself for hours.

Later, at perhaps the lamest party ever, a bunch of faculty are chilling out and listening to the Doors. Everyone we see is talking about Jessup. Why? Well, much as Jessup is obsessed with himself, everyone else seems to follow suit by being obsessed with him. One young woman, Emily, (Blair Brown) is introduced to him in this very shot below as he arrives at the party:

Notice how is framed in holy light? There is a closeup after, of him framed in blinding glowing light followed up with a zoom in on Emily's face, enraptured with this incredible dynamic man. So much so that the moment he tries to make a goddamn sandwich she starts grabbing his celery (get your mind out of the gutter) and flirting with him. Which for these two that means talking science, immediately. Talking more at each other than with each other. This is often the way with Paddy Chayefsky's scripts.

PAUSE

Paddy Chayefsky is doubtless one of the great American writers for the screen. He wrote Marty, The Hospital and Network (which is a fucking incredible piece of work). He got an Oscar for all three. He also wrote this movie (Altered States, remember? Good lord) and disowned it completely three weeks in to production. His scripts tend to have very intelligent, driven characters at the center, who monologue extensively at each other. These scripts are not attempting to sound naturalistic.

Ken Russell, however, directed the film. He, like Chayefsky, is top notch at what he does (Direct. I said he directed the film like a second ago, come on keep up). His films, like Women in Love, The Devils, (which was banned in several major countries upon release and has never been shown publicly in its full, uncut form (by the way it's a masterpiece)) the Who's Tommy, Gothic, and Lair of the White Worm are all fucking gonzo nuts. I mean like, when you gave this guy the reins, you were going to Overthetopsville and there will be no stops on this trip. And god bless! I love directors who GO for it!

You're getting the chance to make a movie. Stop hemming and hawing and hit me over the head with what you want to say! Film is a visual medium, USE IT!

I feel I might have made my feelings clear here. So, moving on...

Ken Russell and Paddy Chayefsky immediately started butting heads, right from the start. Chayefsky was a BIG deal, and he wanted control over the picture in a BIG way. Ken would listen to his suggestions on everything to lighting and set dressing, and politely tell him, “No.”, and continue being the director of the film. Chayefsky hated him pretty quickly.

He had much more control over films like The Hospital. Which, if you watch The Hospital, well, it shows. You've got great actors (George C. Scott, Dame Diana Rigg (Dame may be the greatest official title of all time)) saying great dialogue. But its just two very witty bitter people sort of expounding on topics and speaking at each other and suddenly admitting they are in love and discussing what drapes they will have to buy for their new home. It's utterly preposterous, and it doesn't work in the way Sidney Lumet got it to work in Network, by literally making one of the lead characters realize his life is turning into a ludicrous soap opera.

So of course Ken tried to humanize, naturalize, the dialogue sequences. And it works! The film feels more human than the Hospital or Network. Despite the fact that Jessup is literally becoming more and more inhuman throughout the film. One of the ways he does this is by having the character's eat, drink, and work on other things during the dialogue sequences. This is perfectly normal in film, it's called giving the actor “business” to do, during the scene. Chayefsky HATED this. “They are mumbling my precious dialogue! Chewing through it! Sucking it through a straw!” Sorry, Chayefsky buddy. It works for the picture. Chayefsky also felt the actors were too emotional with his dialogue. Right. See, they call that acting.

UNPAUSE

Which brings us back to the first meeting of Emily and Jessup at the party. They are eating during this important scene! I can just picture Chayefsky seeing this, and running to the studio brass to tattle and get Ken Russell fired (as he got Arthur Penn of Bonnie and Clyde fame fired before Ken Russell came on board).

Emily and Jessup are, true to Chayefsky form, extremely intelligent, driven people and hearing them discuss topics such as anthropology and schizophrenia is quite interesting. It's just that what is to come, film being a visual medium, will eclipse just about any dialogue, no matter how good, from our mind thingys.

The two give up on the science talk and go straight to banging on her couch. After, she asks what he was thinking about. His answer is priceless. “God. Jesus. Crucifixions.”

She smiles.

Bwahahaha! Oh Paddy Chayefsky, you sure know women.

He admits he used to have religious visions. She listens to him from the sweaty couch whilst he sits naked on the floor, and starts going on about his father's horrible death of cancer and his loss of faith. And he admits to her that he's a nut. Her response is to call him a fascinating bastard. I think Lucas may have taken notes for Padme and Anakin.

So naturally, they get married immediately.

But none of that matters because Jessup gets back in the sensory deprivation tank and has his first vision. A nightmare of his dying father and lost faith in christianity. It's pretty great, filled with foreboding hospital rooms, his father's face being covered in a burning Shroud of Turin, everything covered by horrible blood red clouds and then THIS FUCKING THING SHOWS UP AND ITS ALIVE AND WRIGGLING

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

excuse me...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

The many-eyed goat is slaughtered over a gold bible and suddenly Jessups screwing Emily again and we enter a blood vessel looking thing and the vision ends and he never mentions this again. Oh. Okay,

Emily continues on about what a nut Jessup is as they make marriage plans. Her monologue:

“You're an unmitigated madman. You don't have to tell me how weird you are. I know how weird you are. I'm the girl in your bed the past two months. Even sex is a mystical experience for you. You carry on like a flagellant... Which can be very nice, but I sometimes wonder if it's me that's being made love to. I feel like I'm being harpooned by some raging monk in the act of receiving God. (Emphasis mine)

"And you are a Faust-freak Eddie! You'd sell your soul to find the great truth. Well, human life doesn't have great truths. We're born in doubt. We spend our lives persuading ourselves we're alive. And one way we do that is we love each other, like I love you. I can't imagine living without you. So let's get married, and if it turns out to be a disaster, it'll be a disaster.”

It's a disaster.

As in, by the next scene. It starts off happy enough looking, they have kids and people are smiling. And hey, wow it's seven years later! But, well, see, whoops, they are getting a divorce. Well, not they. See, he is divorcing her because he considers the seven years with her a complete waste.

She still loves him, desperately. He doesn't give a shit about her or the kids. He tells Bob Balaban this, straight up. And then starts bugging him about deprivation tanks and Hinchi Indians in South America who have sacred mushrooms that can really fuck you up.

It's at this point you would like for Jessup to be hit by a Mack truck. But the movie continues on. By the way, this is one of the kids he doesn't give a crap about:

That's right. Drew Barrymore's first role is a kid that William Hurt doesn't give a shit about. Something that William Hurt would make a career out of with narcoleptic performances in Lost in Space and Syfy's Dune. So, Emily takes the kids to Africa for her anthropology work while Jessup goes to South America to go deeper into his own creepy mind.

The Hinchi Indians agree to allow him to participate in the drug ritual. They enter their holy cave.

This shot is beautiful. At this point the film becomes increasingly gorgeous. Ken Russell has started to go into overdrive, ladies and gentlemen. Buckle. Your. Seatbelts.

The Indians grab Jessup's hand and cut him, freaking him out. They pour his blood into the drug mixture. They begin to drink. Then he takes a sip. The intensity of the film here has quadrupled. The vision begins, fireworks going off all around him. He sees cave paintings of humans and komodo dragons and this:

The proper life he left behind with Emily. He's convulsing, sweating. The Indians are all around, masked. Snakes. He's laughing in pain. Energy spills from the void. A snake under the parasol strikes and begins to strangle him. He and Emily march toward a nuclear explosion as energy pours from the cut on his hand, becoming a lizard. From within a sandstorm, Emily watches him, naked. Jessup looks at her, entranced, as the soothing sands cover them both, slowly.

It's a beautiful sequence. A perfect film sequence. I can't overstate how strong the vision sequences are from this point forward. Great visual effects work and the madman mind of Ken Russell create something unforgettable, with it's own pace, independent from the rest of the film.

Jessup awakens with a komodo dragon laying before him, ripped to pieces. The Indians and the others all claim he killed it in rage. Jessup remembers nothing, takes samples of the drug to reproduce it, and goes back home.

Back home, Jessup keeps doing as much of the drug as he can and having Bob Balaban record results. They can't up the dosage any more so Jessup hops back in to the self deprivation tank to create a more extreme experience.

In his next session, Jessup states he is having a vision of early man, hunting a deer and killing it. Suddenly he states he is one of them, killing the deer. He begins to grunt like an animal. The two pull him out. He's incredibly pale, blood seeping out of his mouth. He can't speak, and has difficulty breathing. He insists they do an X-ray. It shows that there is a vocalizing lump in the front part of his throat. Jessup claims that his body had begun to revert to a simian state. The medical doctor agrees, stating the throat X-rays looks like that of a gorilla.

Luckily his throat returns to normal. So Jessup finishes up his day by having over a student of his and sleeping with her.

Our hero, people!

At this point we hardly feel sorry for him as his body suddenly begins to twist and bulge in the middle of the night, shifting in and out of neanderthal shapes. It's a horrific sequence, disturbing as hell. You certainly didn't expect the film to shift into body horror.

Jessup feels normal after a while. but sees visions of lava explosions, the birthing of the Earth all around him. Not a good sign.

He goes to pick up Emily from the airport the next day. She asks how he is doing.

“Oh, fine.”

Yeah right.

Emily has been told what Jessup has been doing and is worried, which of course pisses off Jessup even more. The guy is obviously obsessed with reaching the truth and root of existence, much as Emily surmised earlier, and we see he has no fear of even losing his own soul, again true to her word. The only thing that allows us to give a shit about him at this point is that Emily cares for him and she's decent people, okay?

So back Jessup goes into the tank with his ayahuasca or whatever it is. Alone. The tank door opens from the inside.

The hand that pushes it open is covered in thick hair. He's devolved.

Ape-Jessup escapes the tank room and chases a janitor around the building. Again, this scene is fucking freaky as hell. We can't get a good look at this screaming animal that was Jessup.

The janitor gets a guard to help and chases after him into the boiler room, where we finally get a good look at him when he assaults the security guard and escapes.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Ape-Jessup runs through the city at night, making his way to the zoo where he kills a antelope and eats it. The Ape-Jessup sequence goes on way too long, but is nonetheless unforgettable. The makeup is much more convincing than the above picture suggests, and whoever performed Ape-Jessup did an admirable job.

The cops find an unconscious Jessup in the zoo and bring him in. Emily picks him up and questions him. Jessup admits everything that he can remember. He also admits that he probably killed that security guard. And once again doesn't seem to give a shit. Prick. He calls it the most supremely satisfying time of his life.

Even Emily seems disgusted with him. But, she's also fascinated with what he's accomplished. As an anthropologist, his transformation fascinates her. And so, she agrees to help oversee his next session. Big mistake.

Before the big session Emily and Jessup romantically reconnect, and then into the climactic session we go!

Get your popcorn ready!

After a few hours in to the session, the video monitor shows Jessup begin to literally melt apart like goo, reverting to primordial ooze, the very beginning of existence. An attempt to open the isolation tank doors blasts everyone unconscious, as light and energy pour forth. Emily is the only one left. She sees Jessup's life energy pulse from within the tank.

Rain pours down around them. The pipes on the walls twist and turn like jelly. The ground is covered with a pool of swirling fog and energy. Emily advances toward the vortex of the tank.

In the emptiness of the beginning of everything, Emily seizes the energy before her and reconstitutes Jessup.

They take him home. While he sleeps, Emily rages over the fact that she loves such a insane bastard, and can't get over him. And, then, after Bob Balaban leaves, leaving Emily alone, Jessup wakes up.

He sweetly admits that the truth he learned was that there was no learnable truth, just unknowable horror, and all that's real is human experience. And he'll be a good boy from now on. Well too bad!

Because that horrible truth isn't done with him, and it's back to goo-Jessup! Emily tries to help him, grabbing him, but this in turn effects her, turning her into a shimmering lava form of herself. Both of them begin to self-destruct as Jessup, enraged, watching her in pain, struggles to retake his humanity, slamming himself into the wall, reforming himself through sheer will and physicality. He grabs her and brings her back, mirroring what she did for him during the final session. They embrace naked in the hallway. He finally admits, “I love you, Emily.”

Fade to credits.

Awww true love!

What can I say to sum up? Awesome 80's practical effects. Genius wacko go-for-it Ken Russell directing. Out of this world vision sequences. A awake and actually remarkable performance from William Hurt. An occasionally turgid but often fascinating script by the ever ornery Paddy Chayefsky. Whats not to like?

Well, the ending is a little rushed. The ape sequence goes on for a little too long and takes up perhaps too much of the films overall running time. The central love story is, well... a little hard to swallow, but hey, I guess there really is somebody out there for everyone. Even self-absorbed, deadbeat, cheating, sensory deprivation loving, ayahuasca dropping, Harvard teachers with a messiah complex!

And on that note, aliens from A.I. Artifical Intelligence, have a good day, and don't leave poor Teddy alone with no one to keep him company!

Sayonara!

#altered states #ken russell #movies #review #funny?

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dansnaturepictures · 4 years

Photo

My 10 blogs to celebrate highlights of my wildlife/photography 2020: Post 7-The early autumnal signs in the summer and the rest of my autumn

This post of mine each year always seems to begin with me noticing some signs of autumn over the summer. This year just like the butterflies this seemed to happen earlier than ever, or perhaps it was I noticed it more due to having so many wildlife and photography walks whilst working from home. My walks at Lakeside at lunch and that were especially the place I noticed most early autumnal leaves, I first noticed one tree with what appeared to be autumn leaves on 1st June! And by mid-July when I wrote this first paragraph I was seeing a fair bit of autumnal colour in the views of Lakeside, on some greyer days and wetter ones really brightening things up, after I’d also seen things like blackberries, other types of berries, apples and the odd mushroom so this was an interesting feeling enjoying my summer and all it brings as my other highlights blogs show but having reminders of autumn to come around a bit and the hope it would bring once the year more naturally started to take a wind down and move away from the height of the year temperature and sunshine wise. The curtain raiser to autumn continued as we went to Millyford Bridge on a Monday I had off work in the New Forest in July and saw loads of mushrooms I photographed some too a key sight and sign of autumns for me which I saw increasingly those few weeks when out a bit like the autumn leaves more so in the very immediate places at home but also elsewhere it all happening that little bit early. I continued to notice berries and autumnal leaves on my Lakeside lunch time walks that following week continuing the autumnal feelings.

On 11th August I took the first picture in this photoset of trees looking autumnal leave wise on a day more autumn leaves I photographed were looking quite stunning against a bright blue sky. In the overall all-encompassing heat and bright sun during the heatwave that day some trees I saw around the estate didn’t just look slightly autumnal as I had noted in proceeding weeks a lot but looked very autumnal with lots of coloured leaves yellow especially. So this was an interesting fusion of two seasons summer and autumn in a notable way. And I loved looking at it. I had noticed a lot during that time and did that day at Lakeside how the Black-headed Gulls were really loosing their notable summer plumage - those chocolate coloured heads. When seeing a House Martin that day at Lakeside I reflected how all the Swifts had seemed to have left our shores now or in this area anyway their time in the UK was brilliant but went in a blink of an eye this year. A sure sign at that stage like the leaves that the year was for turning whilst that patch of weather was unforgettable very evident through everyone outside at Lakeside enjoying the sunshine and heat in and by the lakes which I noticed a lot on those days. The next day I photographed very bright red berries and leaves in yet more scorching weather at Lakeside, a day I ate blackberries too with autumnal early signs all around and I felt very at one with nature. I also took my first DSLR camera picture of some painted stones in honour of the NHS and key workers under a tree I loved seeing this year around the estate day so a memorable day. Alongside berries and leaves of the red varieties yet again that week and more white-headed Black-headed Gulls on my Lakeside walk the next day I enjoyed some fidgety Mallards on the lake there having a good splash in the water and I noticed the males had started to go through their eclipse with their green heads gradually going. Working from home this year meant I was observing some different things to the usual showing me the season was changing or about to change which I enjoyed. I took the second picture in this photoset of these Mallards with the young Great Crested Grebes at the park this year in it too. The next day at Lakeside I remarked how with it cloudier and grey the landscape didn’t look so tired as it normally might in late summer with colour perhaps disappearing but the autumnal colour of berries and leaves especially on trees brightened it up a bit. I felt very much like I was in autumn then. The next day at Matley in the New Forest I saw and for some photographed autumn leaves, chestnuts and mushrooms (a beefsteak fungus we felt shown in the third picture in this photoset on a tree) a bit further from home. The late summer characteristic of the very purple heather looked glorious in the rain that day too. The heather at its purple I expect of late summer but the autumn really was seeming to have come early in this strange year that day.

The next day at Hayling Island’s Earnley Triangle and oyterbeds I saw more nice berries and autumnal leaves scenes, noticing all the various berries out at the start of autumn was something I’d never appreciated and noticed so much as I did last this year so it was a nice real unique theme of my year which I enjoyed. The next day autumn was so apparent all around outside and my photos reflected that that I felt it was time start my Facebook autumn album early a collection of my autumnal subjects I enjoy doing each year for months such as autumn leaves, mushrooms, berries especially this year and more which was telling.

When we got back from our Devon and Cornwall weekend away in August which I talk about in my next of these posts on my first Lakeside walk at lunch time when back a decidedly more muddy scene than the glorious summer conditions I had before we left for the trip away on the walk after some storms signalled for me that the dizzy days of summer were numbered. The next day I was delighted to see some lovely sloes and take pictures of them at Lakeside alongside other berries, the red berries on the trees in a particular spot beside the bowl area had overcome the landscape to create a scarlet glow amongst the sea of green something so delicious to see which I took the fourth picture in this photoset of. The next day I had an amazing moment watching and photographing the Starling’s descend on our garden on mass what a sight to behold they are so noisy and lively I enjoyed this so much through the summer. But of autumnal relevance was that as I did for those few weeks a few times when they flew off I noticed they flew off in a large group just like they were doing a murmuration an iconic sight of British autumn and winter with the local population bolstered by the young ones at this time of year I often see the mini murmurations at home ahead of the bigger ones usually at different and more wild locations so this was nice. That night though summer clung on a bit in a sunny patch after a day that had thunder and lightning I took a wonderful walk at Lakeside and enjoyed once again this year seeing the group of House Martins I got very familiar with this year gliding over with a Swallow too against a lovely sky which was a great moment.

On that Friday I got a great autumnal migrating bird moment when I enjoyed one adult and two juvenile Common Terns at Lakeside, as I said in my favourite birds highlight blog as an add on this is not always a common sight here when I saw one pass through this spring my first of this year this urban, modestly sized and well used lake dominated country park so its brilliant to observe them here I was so excited again. Two of the three of them fished and dived to the backdrop of a sun glowing through a thickly clouded quite dark sky with it raining a fair bit, which was just spectacular and magical to see with music starting to play from the nearby Concorde club a restaurant and concert venue nearby which I had heard when here in the dark looking at bats two weeks earlier as darkness seemed to hint upon its arrival that Friday night. It was a day where at times it felt so autumnal in the summer months still, a subtle autumnal chill in the air and just feelings of the season and I could not believe how far the year was coming on. The slight autumnal chill was present a little as I had another key moment in the late summer/early autumn outbound bird migration in Hampshire the next day at Workman’s Lane, Hook-with-Warsash seeing a group of my first Yellow Wagtails of the year seeing these charming and key for this time of year birds for me scuttling around by ponies and cattle’s feet and faces it was a very thrilling and satisfying experience for me. We moved onto Farlington Marshes that day when the small bird migration fest continued with Wheatear, my first Whinchats of the year and memorably a second group of Yellow Wagtails in a day during a big influx of them in Hampshire. Farlington Marshes was looking redder and redder with those same berries as Lakeside growing and growing too. A packed and generally amazing Saturday that day as I referenced in other highlights blogs too. The migration fest continued on Bank Holiday Monday at the gorgeous Old Winchester Hill in the South Downs seeing Spotted Flycatchers and with them my first ever Pied Flycatcher a female and an amazing moment which I mentioned in my first of these posts about my birdwatching year. The next week the Tuesday after bank holiday back at Lakeside on one of a few social distant catch-up walks with my Dad I did once restrictions allowed I live with my Mum and her husband who share the photography and birdwatching etc. interest in case you didn’t know I usually stay with my Dad two nights a week though which was suspended in its usual form when I started working from home in March. On this walk I saw two of the Common Terns again from the Friday before with one fishing and spectacularly diving and one sitting down on a buoy on the lake. Amazing to see and lovely that their stop over was longer than the first of my year I’d seen in spring. That day I took in some nice autumnal colour sights and I also noted that dragonflies I wrote about one I saw in my last blog about my butterflies/other insects part 2 in my year for them were rather replacing butterflies as the key insect to see in my walks at Lakeside which is a sign of autumn I perhaps overlooked in years gone by as the dragonflies start later than the quintessential spring and summer butterflies and even damselflies and their season goes on longer into autumn months with a good few around so this was interesting.

The next day alongside autumnal sights I loved seeing two Common Terns again an adult hunting and a juvenile on a buoy which I got really close to and photographed. So nice to see them here again as their stopover continued. That walk, an overcast lunch time at the beginning of autumn, was eerily quiet. No constant warbles of Whitethroat, Blackcap and most commonly Chiffchaff that uplifted me at the beginning of lockdown here. Or the same unceasing buzz of insects mostly butterflies and bees in the meadow areas or chirps of the full circus of young birds on lakes that came to define the months that followed. I have remarked many times how my walks at lunch times whilst working from home, my hour of freedom locally to do what I love watching wildlife and more than when commuting in working in the office of the photography I love, have meant so much to me. I still remember the sadness as it became apparent lockdown was what we needed due to this virus coming here for everyone’s safety and the strong restrictions on our lives but everywhere spring was in abundance my favourite time of year from butterflies flying to migratory birds. But in the moment that day I realised that the most horrific thing I have seen the human race face in my lifetime came at actually the best time of year. It at that stage had pretty much always been spring or summer when we’ve faced these strange times and more often than not been very nice weather. It was in this moment that day I’ve really thought about how much being outside has meant to me in these times. And there is a sense of sadness again that the spring and summer was coming to an end. And I think this was adding to an underlying feeling I’d had at that time that this feels like the end of the year or the end of the summer holidays when I was a kid a bit as the season changes and all the feelings it brings. But it’s the way of the seasons, how they immerse you to be able to give you these familiar feelings of what one month should look, feel, taste and smell like to the next, which makes nature a powerful force which it has been amazing to be so close to every day.

That Thursday alongside seeing the Common Terns pretty close and making the most of the House Martins yet again, on the theme of bird migration I loved this year’s late summer/early autumn one I got one of my birding moments of the year and working from home when I was astounded to within a flock including a Chiffchaff and tit species Blue and Long-tailed see two Spotted Flycatchers and get pictures including the fifth in this photoset. It’s a bird I still see as a little scarce when I see them in the New Forest or wherever and I certainly did not expect to see them at the urban country park right next to where we live. This like a few other bird, butterfly, dragon/damselfly and flower moments I’ve had on my working from home Lakeside walks really opened my eyes to just what my local patch can host when you just look and listen and hope I guess and it made me so happy I was over the moon. Coming the week I saw the Pied Flycatcher with Spotted Flycatchers at Old Winchester Hill my first ever and the latest in a longer list than ever of Spotted Flycatcher sightings for me in a year it allowed me to really celebrate my connection to and relationship with this bird, they are a bird that always seem to turn up at sites often unexpected local ones generally in a year in Hampshire in numbers at the end of summer/beginning of autumn I have very delicious feelings towards that time for year for them and for that to come to my doorstep was amazing! They did get added to my B list of favourite birds in September too. What a moment.

The next day I liked seeing mushrooms on the green out the front that Friday evening, something I love photographing and taking in every autumn and always excites me for this naturally rich season. I saw yet more Yellow Wagtails by cow’s feet as it showed its always worth looking at this time of year at Pennington in the Lymington-Keyhaven nature reserve a week after the first this year getting cracking views of three birds. It was the first time I had ever actually seen them at three locations in a year/a late summer/autumn. Everyone was seeing these birds at that stage too it was amazing to be a part of it. I enjoyed seeing bright red berries and fungi on that walk by the sea too. I did a spot of mushroom hunting at Ashley Walk in the New Forest the next day finding some nice ones including some big white ones wrapped in bright purple heather which made for a good photo opportunity I took the sixth in this photoset of it and was great to see. At Lakeside the Monday that followed as I walked behind the steam railway station and visitor centre on a path at Lakeside I remarked at how the bright green leaves synonymous with seeing a White-letter Hairstreak butterfly I find that I looked for there most of the summer had turned to yellow as I’d photographed. But autumn did a vanishing act in that part of the country park as I couldn’t see the yellow leaves on trees that day. Most likely as August’s storms had displaced them leaving the yet-to-turn green leaves to give the impression they were never there but I did see some further down the path. And further on in my walk I spotted some delightful bright red mushrooms on the woodland floor. That Wednesday I photographed two more lovely red autumnal signs at Lakeside a fallen bright and nice red leaf on the grass and an apple too which I loved photographing. Red berries were something I enjoyed so much that day too and as I sat on a bench for once and took in the world that lunch time I was immersed in noisy Starlings gathering in the nearby allotments a highlight of this time of year. The next day at Lakeside as I noted an interesting transition period in hot and sunny weather with lots of summer scenes out in the landscape as well as autumnal ones I saw a cracking purply/brown mushroom a big one too as well as leaves visible from the house turning yellow on a tree as bright green as a lot of the rest of the landscape.

I had a fungi fest on the green out the front on a Friday the next day as I was so happy to see a usual one here which I love and one of the few I know shaggy ink cap pop up on the green at the front of the house. I photographed that morning and evening on walks as well as some stunning and big brown ones on the evening walk which looked lovely in the sun. The pictures made them look like plastic. I remarked on how I was loving the fungi season ramping up and pleased once more with my new macro lens for quality and detail it can produce just like with butterflies, flowers and other insects and really excited for the fuller season ahead. Of autumnal note the next day at Farlington Marshes were lots of nice red berry scenes, a great view of some blackberries which I photographed alongside much more, Starlings beginning to murmurate in a hot and sunny patch against a bright blue sky which was great, for a third Saturday running yet more Yellow Wagtails and another bird I got my best ever views of that day quite a big bird for Farlington in late summer/early autumn and one its known you can see very well in autumn the spectacularly looking wader the Curlew Sandpiper with two seen by us that day with a Dunlin. Martin Down the next day where we so often go in spring and summer felt different for us to see with a pinch of autumnal colour mostly from berries but some leaves too than when we normally go. I enjoyed yet more mushrooms on the green out the front the next day and enjoyed some berries at Lakeside. The next day alongside colourful slight autumnal sights at Lakeside in a heatwave on my walk I was sad to see all the mushrooms mowed over when the green out the front was mowed. I said it in this highlights blog last year when I noticed some shaggy inkcaps deliberately knocked over on the green one of the pitfalls of an urban area I suppose whilst I have loved exploring the world immediately around me this year. The next day at Lakeside I noticed among mushrooms and other autumnal coloured leaves on my walk a very small amount of red leaves on the usual prominent and tall trees I have noticed go really nice and red for years. Looking at Facebook memories the next morning though I saw the first picture I took of one of these trees in full bright red colour was taken five years to that day and the very small bit of red was nothing compared to the full tree of that day in 2015 I started to realise maybe in terms of coloured leaves this autumn wasn’t so early after all or somehow managed to slow down but this is only one type of tree I suppose. The landscape took a much greener look during that September heatwave though so it was like going backwards at home a bit. That next day I did spot more red autumnal leaves and berries in different parts of Lakeside, as well as apple trees and a nice few michaelmas daisies a key part of autumn I always think not something I’d seen at Lakeside before so this was great. I enjoyed lots of autumnal sights when we went to Norfolk in September as my ninth highlights blog this year mentions, and when we returned home from that on the Saturday there was a sprinkling of autumnal colour including at Lakeside and out the front on a little walk more so than when we went away in places which I enjoyed.

The next day that Sunday at Fleet Pond we had a very autumnal walk around. Notable that day compared to before we went on holiday was the autumnal chill in the air that you always seem to suddenly notice at this time of year warranting my jacket on for the whole walk, as well as lots of chestnuts and acorns around in the woods the first time this year I had seen so many. This was added to by signs of autumn I had already taken in a lot this year, red berries, multi-coloured leaves like I had noticed some more of in the woods visible from my bedroom window that morning in the sun it was a nice sunny day mostly that one and mushrooms. Indeed among a few others I noticed my all-important first red fly agaric of the year my favourite and an iconic mushroom in woods up and down the country in autumn. But unfortunately they’d been knocked over, seeing some was nice just a shame they weren’t in tact. I saw so many Black-headed Gulls sharply in winter plumage that day at Fleet Pond too. The next day I enjoyed more autumnal sights at Lakeside like berries and some flowering together which I took a picture of, and in truth the whole place took on an ever so slight crimson glow thanks to some leaves that had turned red, not least the tall trees I look at every year in autumn that go the best scarlet shade that just had some leaves red now which made for some great landscape opportunities on a memorable walk that day for me due to wildlife sightings and photos taken with so many as I posted about in other highlights posts this year the autumnal features made for good landscape and other opportunities. The next day I was very happy to see another shaggy ink cap mushroom on the green out the front of the house that had grown up which I photographed, alongside more autumnal colour in a leaf in the front garden and Lakeside I photographed on a sunny lunch time walk. That week I noticed a lot of little flowering on trees almost like blossom but obviously not in autumn and on the Wednesday I took a picture of the red with white behind flowers in a flower pot at the front of the house which was great. Bramble flowers was something I enjoyed seeing a lot in autumn this year.

The next day on lunch as I walked out also I took a landscape a nice angle looking over trees in autumnal colour I noticed the view from this angle walking down the street during that week but I didn’t have time to take a photo on the day so I wanted to have a go at it again and that day after a sunny start and then clouding over the sun just started to come out so it was quite nicely lit and I was pleased with the photo. What I noticed when looking at this photo on my laptop was that in someone’s window visible in the background you can see a drawn rainbow on paper stuck in the inside of the window. Something many of us did to show our appreciation to our National Health Service for the incredible work they’ve done during the pandemic and always, become a strong symbol in these past few months and one of the defining images of lockdown and the coronavirus pandemic in the UK and 2020. So it was great to photograph this or have it in my photo anyway. And it was fitting to take the picture on a Thursday as Thursdays for 10 weeks during the strictest parts of the first lockdown we all came to our balconies, windows etc. to clap for our care workers and key workers one of the most heartening things about 2020. So it was nice to take this picture this Thursday. It rained a little bit as I walked to Lakeside via the path running to the north of it outside of the park in the estate but the sun was never far away. These conditions giving me great opportunity for raindrop and reflection photos on the lakes something I loved doing in early autumn. Going along it became fittingly to open the autumnal month of October a very autumnal walk with some nice colours in the trees. It was interesting this really told me seeing these we were getting towards peak colour festival for how the leaves on trees look now. It wasn’t just one tree here or there or leaves starting to show colour as it had been for a good few months with an early start to autumn this year now but everything was starting to really go into sweet colour. And I must say I don’t think locally over Lakeside or around the estate I have celebrated autumn leaves here as much as I should have over the years. So seeing it that day made me think of the New Forest and Richmond and Bushy Parks places I have seen glorious autumnal colour over the years and it gave me the same sense of ripeness which excites me as at those places showing the amazing things I can see very locally once again a big theme for me of this year.

The next day I noticed just how red the trees were starting to look my favourite colour, photographing this at home, Lakeside and on a nostalgic visit to a childhood haunt I am proud of and other bits of Eastleigh which I hadn’t seen for a while and found charming to again Grantham Green. That day was a very wet day showing the weather was looking more autumnal then with quite a few minor floods and big puddles at Lakeside and home and wet weather wanderers snail and slug on our door when I left for my lunch time walk. This autumn I noticed a lot when it rained and Lakeside looked wetter and fuller being able to notice differences in water levels as I walked there most days. Specifically posted in other highlights blogs this year it was a marvellous Friday of birdwatching with lots of species I don’t normally see so locally so the rain possibly put things in different places. I also saw decent amounts of House Martin and particularly Swallow after not seeing many there for a while at Lakeside as they were close to migrating. The next day that Saturday at Farlington Marshes I had the all-important autumn moment seeing my first Brent Geese of the season far off in a day I saw waders and other birds in great numbers including Ringed Plover and Little Egrets. We had a really nice walk around, as the sun came out but stormy weather that we were right in the middle of Storm Alex at that time never stayed far away with dark skies in places which were really quite dramatic to see. In fact of the 28 pictures I produced that day 24 were landscapes and I don’t think there’s one of them which doesn’t have a dramatic sky scene within it. So this made this one of my best ever days for taking pictures with nice and dramatic skies in I think and seeing skies generally typical scenes for the start of autumn really which made me feel really good. It was interesting then to have a bit a theme running through my photos that day which helps define the day in my head a bit. Having done so many Saturday visits here over those few months from June onwards there is overlap between the landscapes I take in each one but so many of this set of photos were unique. Such a memorable afternoon because of that. There was also more nice autumnal colour in the landscape a strong theme on our walks at that stage.

I had one of my best moments of the autumn with two more key moments of any autumn on a fairly wet day walking from Blackwater in the New Forest the next day. I saw my first two un-knocked over red fly agaric mushrooms which I loved studying and taking in their fantastic and bright colours a flat and a round one I took pictures to. I enjoyed so many mushrooms that day with some nice brown ones seen too and so many white ones, lots together at many points with some amongst some heather again as well. Then on a packed walk for wildlife sightings we also came across a herd of Red Deers during their rut which was fantastic to see. We spent some amazing minutes watching a stag with big antlers and some females I really was so happy to see them. On a generally great day of deers with a Muntjac seen too as I mentioned in my New Forest highlights post the fourth one I was just so thrilled to see a group of Red Deers in the brilliant New Forest I had not seen them here nearly enough whilst I’ve seen them so well in other locations over the last decade. They are one of the star piece of wildlife in the New Forest so it was just smashing to see them. Some great moments with one of my favourite mammals. I took the seventh picture in this photoset of one of the females.

On the day after I liked seeing some very little mushrooms on the green out the front which I photographed that day and enjoyed all of that week, some autumnal leaves with flowers in the garden and yet more nice autumn leaves and red berries scenes at Lakeside, mostly notably I liked observing that with the red autumn leaves I see every year and enjoy here I was noticing them gradually turn red with one special patch of this which I took a photo of going bright red so I rather enjoyed that. The next day in one of the floods that had formed on the Friday at Lakeside I loved seeing Mallard wallowing in it on a field a lovely natural moment with dragonflies flying over this nice little bit of water too as I mentioned in my second butterflies and other insects highlights post this lived long in the memory. I enjoyed lots more great autumnal colours on that walk and that evening seeing the regular Greylag Geese that I hadn’t as much as over the spring and summer over Lakeside flying past the house to the backdrop of a lowering sun felt like a nice autumnal moment geese flying and flocking a strong autumnal motifs of nature bringing back memories of the Pink-footed Geese I loved seeing flying in at Norfolk as I mention in the ninth of these posts. I enjoyed more autumnal colour scenes the next day at Lakeside as I did all of that week and it was nice to see Pied Wagtails over the house as I did the next day too a winter visitor to the garden alongside a few of those like Robins that had been coming in over that time a key part of autumn seeing signs of natural parts of winter or winters of ours of the past to come. Yet more autumnal colour and some more shaggy ink caps and other mushrooms on the green out the front awaited me on an amazing Friday I had for wildlife and photos that Friday as I took pictures of all of this and reflected on how I liked how much time working from home gave me to really observe mushrooms out the front this year. The shaggy ink caps on the green is something I watched around working in Winchester On a mostly very sunny day I saw some nice sky scenes I did so much that week with night drawing in taking so many memorable sky pictures from the house. I also saw a moon out in the day time something I enjoyed a lot this year that day and got a picture.

The next day before going to Bushy Park on the Saturday I had a dental hygienist appointment in Winchester, I switched dentists after my Eastleigh one stopped doing evening appointments to one in Winchester as I work there before I began working from home in response to the pandemic hence why I went on a Saturday morning. Before getting picked up by my Mum to come home I had a little walk around from the dentist opposite St. Thomas Church to near my office in glorious sunshine taking in some wonderful autumnal coloured leaves especially more red that week scenes which I always say Winchester is so good for I took some phone pictures of this. The next day whilst Swallows still hung on by the coast at Pennington I got some memorable autumn moments when alongside some coloured leaves in the landscape I loved seeing lots of waterfowl notably many Wigeons and Shoveler and some Pintail my first of the season come in a key bit of autumn. As I mentioned in my general birdwatching and New Forest highlights posts we also got the amazing moment of seeing the blown in by autumn storms Grey Phalarope and mega bird the Wilson’s Phalarope a new one for us that day one of the best moments of autumn birdwatching we had this year and ever for sure getting beyond cracking close views of both. I took the eighth picture in this photoset of the Wilson’s. The next day was a key Monday of my autumn as I enjoyed some nice autumnal sky scenes that morning, shaggy ink caps on the green, yellow autumn leaves on our plants and more autumnal colour at Lakeside I did a closeup photo of some of the red leaves I like looking at every year that day which was interesting. Also alongside masses of the usual suspects and a Blue Tit I don’t always see I noticed my first Pied Wagtail in the garden of the season that day after a few days of seeing them in the area. In winters 2018-19 and 2019-20 they had become a winter visitor to our garden and that alongside the sheer numbers of everything else made me feel the days of winter ahead and the natural world getting ready for it in a sense which is what autumn is all about. It fascinates me each year now how the Pied Wagtails and other birds just seem to know it’s time to visit the garden and nearby when they need bird feeders with natural food harder to find and that through winter months, they are such fascinating creatures and it’s nice to rely on birds to tell you the time of year out of habit. I loved seeing the Greylag Geese flying over the house and at Lakeside that day even if they’re not a migrating population species there is something so autumnal about geese flying in flocks.

The next day when I walked at lunch time I loved seeing the shaggy ink cap mushroom colony on the green at the front of the house again. They looked brilliant and had grown up so much since the day before when I first noticed them, some were still white, others had morphed nicely into the familiar bell or lampshade like figure they become which I liked photographing. But then I noticed a few of something I had never seen for these mushrooms before, in between the white column of the mushroom and the final shape they were flat, I found this great to see and really interesting, you can certainly see how they get their name with that sticky ink like substance on them almost dripping from them I did really enjoy seeing this and getting photos. On the walk at Lakeside that day I took in some stunning colourful autumnal leaves scenes once more getting to see some real ripe and vibrant colour. It was probably one of my best days of the autumn for views of autumn leaves and mushrooms and photos I took of them that day which was great I was pleased with what I took of the scenes. The next day I enjoyed more great views of a silvery looking a great colour shaggy ink cap mushroom out the front, as on a sunny day I enjoyed a plethora of autumnal colour particularly red but some yellow in the landscape visible from and right around me at Lakeside I even photographed a red fallen leaf which was fascinating to see. A comforting day of autumnal colour, as that day I also walked around the roads for additional exercise and photographed a line of trees down a road which I had photographed in nice purple blossom from the other end admittedly in late March days before the first strict lockdown which felt so recent still at that stage as discussion of the need for another strict lockdown dominated the nation’s minds there was interesting parallels in sandwiching those dizzy summer days of rich green the two staging posts in the year of these trees and the year of us all. I saw a Pied Wagtail again on this walk around getting a memorable picture of one on a roof.

On 15th October in glorious sunshine and in that crisp and useful for photos sunlight of the time of year, with some nice raw autumnal light too just before getting to Lakeside I liked photographing more shaggy ink cap mushrooms I saw more mushrooms on the green out the front when back too as well as take in yet more red and yellow gorgeous autumnal leaves in the sunshine at home and at Lakeside, where a view of a Jay among others reminded me what an autumn bird they are with their association with acorns. Another peaceful, relaxing and mushroom and red and yellow autumn leaf particularly certain trees some of the tallest at Lakeside gone yellow dominated sunny day awaited at Lakeside the next day. With the night’s drawing in an early evening Friday walk became a walk at sunset as I took in stunning views of the sun coming down and felt nice walking back along the streets to be in the sunset scene I usually see from my room to a degree a great day that one. The next Friday I had a work online social after work the weekend before the clocks went back so this walk became a fitting last second Friday walk of the year something I really enjoyed especially in the summer.

As mentioned in my New Forest highlight post on 17th October we went to Ashley Walk/Leaden Hall in the New Forest getting exciting view of wonderful Ring Ouzels on autumn migration and other birds as well as it being a memorable day for mushrooms. On the walk I heard a Fallow Deer stag barking a lot and we saw it with its quite large hareem of females looking very dark and with big antlers. A great moment during the fallow rut, it was nice to see fallows during those few weeks where I saw so many deer species and loads so well in various parts of the country a real celebration of deers for me and fallows really began my love for deers being the first I really saw up close when really interested in wildlife and my first favourite I now have three deers on my list of favourite mammals. Sticking with mammals and the grazing animals of the New Forest on the way home by Bramshaw I was delighted to see my first pigs out for pannage this autumn so when commoners exercise their right of pannage to turn out pigs and allow them to roam the forest to eat the acorns of which there was a very large crop of this year very notably which meant the time period pannage lasted was extended which are harmful to the ponies. I enjoy seeing pigs freely roaming around the New Forest every year it is a popular sight in the forest and so important for the management of the New Forest with helping out the ponies. We saw a handful of pigs together and I loved taking pictures of them in a very nice looking typical New Forest village and countryside area near to Bramshaw. We got some great views of them as well as sheep and donkeys behind a fence as they walked down the lane. Whilst watching them I was delighted hear the noise they made as they munched through the acorns on the floor which were clearly visible and I was reminded what all this was for. A special and classic autumnal or you could say “only in the New Forest” moment. Ending a fantastic and joyful afternoon out where we saw iconic New Forest wildlife and sights. The next day at Gilkicker Point and Stokes Bay, after seeing another Pied Wagtail on the garages at home, as well as some autumnal colour and views of Michaelmas daisies a large group of them brightening up a grey afternoon alongside a good few other nice flowers seen there as Sunday rather became my flower day this year I was thrilled to see another Grey Phalarope this autumn getting more cracking and close up views of this stunning bird as one was blown into Gilkicker Pond. I very often go onto see more of them in a year once I see one. Such a nice autumn moment to follow it for a fantastic few minutes getting those stunning views and observing it from above and at eye level. One of my best nature moments of the year. It was nice how lots of non-birdwatchers noticed and were impressed and intrigued by this distinctive little bird close by that day really nice how a Grey Phalarope united people and got people talking about nature. Other highlights at Gilkicker as well as Jays seen flying from the car in a field and on the ground on the way you see so many Jays in autumn as I was reminded of nicely this year with them stashing acorns were; Greenfinch, Carrion Crows in some interesting positions like on a car roof and picking seaweed and with other interesting things in their mouths and gathering in a large group with Herring Gulls I got a picture of mine of the group in the Hampshire Chronicle via the camera club a nice bit of urban seaside bird action and Kestrel with prey in its talons. I was also fascinated by Gilkicker Point’s position sticking out into the solent allowing me to see the Spinnakar Tower and other bits of Portsmouth one side, Fawley power station the other and Ryde and the rest of the Isle of Wight ahead over the water. I detected a light brown colour different to green when looking at the island in the landscape and picked out the beautiful former royal residence Osborne House imposing itself on the landscape which was nice. This brought back strong childhood memories of Isle of Wight holidays. That Sunday we came home via Hill Head further down the coast where I loved seeing loads of Brent Geese more than my first autumn sighting of them at Farlington on the sea close in by the shore further down and a beautiful flock of mostly male Eiders out to sea seen very well a cracking view really. Also here and further up the coast a sort of early sunset occurred over the water in a gap between the Isle of Wight and the mainland a red glow in the afternoon, something I had seen elsewhere last winter which made me feel a little wintery as did a bit of gloom that afternoon I must say which again is what autumn is very much about.

The next day and the one after and that whole week I enjoyed taking in many more red and yellow autumnal leaves scenes including the canopy visible from my room and tree visible from it in lovely sunshine I enjoyed taking a unique photo of the former fittingly in a week where “#Autumnwatch” was the photo theme in a Facebook group I am in ahead of the BBC’s series of that this year one of my favourite TV programmes the Springwatch edition particularly inspiring and uplifting for me this year as they took the spirit of optimism and re-connection to nature and touched on Black Lives Matter very well during strict lockdown key themes of this year here. This year I put lots of my pictures into different groups on Facebook as well and that’s been something massive to come out of my time working from home, taking pictures during it and how I post them and use my time that I’m now posting my pictures onto different themed Facebook groups as a ritual. This group, the Hampshire Chronicle camera club which has allowed me among online associations and many moments sharing and seeing other’s pictures has allowed me to get some of my pictures into the Hampshire Chronicle newspaper which I am so thankful for, general wildlife and birding groups, the Self Isolating Bird Club launched by Chris Packham, Megan McCubbin and co. quite on theme, a cloud and sky picture group I’ve been in for ages all big groups so I just like posting the pictures somewhere and interacting with strangers because of them it’s really been a great way for me to stay connected in these times. I love my Twitter friends and I love tweeting my pictures that page and this one for me are everything I have ever wanted as somewhere to post my photos and experiences with lots of lovely people and a fantastic broad community and I always get so much out of sharing with you but it’s just quite nice for the Facebook groups each day thinking right what photo did I take for this theme etc and get me thinking and a nice way to further share my photos on my platforms in more specific themed groups. On both of those days I took pictures of the tree out the back with some red/yellow autumn colour what I first ever noticed this tree for in autumn taking pictures of the coloured leaves and the second day it looked that little bit redder interesting symmetry to spring as I said in my first butterflies highlights post when this tree blossomed and seemed to have more blossom on it every time I looked out the window to it so this was nice. Photographing it that day 20th October my Dad’s birthday meant I photographed it exactly two years on my first or one of my first photos of it on my Dad’s birthday in 2018, but in 2018 the leaves were all really yellow there was a lot of green on them on 20th October this year so maybe the fast autumn wasn’t quite keeping pace with other years. On the Wednesday I saw another nice shaggy inkcap mushroom on the green out the front, it was also nice to notice a Magpie picking amongst fallen leaves on the green the fallen leaves a common sight and theme of that October week on a fairly rainy lunch time walk as well as a Pied Wagtail including it chirping nicely around the garden again. On the very sunny Thursday of that key autumnal week for me as well as mushrooms out the front and shaggy inkcap actually in Lakeside and the usual bright yellow and red colours that week looking so nice in the sun I noticed a tree I’d photographed nice and green the Friday night before with autumnal colour now and that tree out the back was redder and yellower as it seemed to come into autumn leaf quite fast too. On a day I produced loads of pictures on a sunny day with how many were autumnal subjects it did feel a bit like a pinnacle of my autumn. I loved taking some different types of pictures of just some autumn leaves on the ground red and yellow like the ones in the ninth picture in this photoset that Friday at Lakeside a day at lunch time I saw some interesting looking mushrooms which seemed to resemble nipples which was quite funny.

There was more entertainment and much more fungi the next day as we went to Pig Bush in the New Forest for our usual October visit as that’s when we first went to this place we love so much one of my favourite New Forest spots as it looks as it did that first visit that month and this October marked a decade since we first went there, and for the first time in that decade we saw some pigs there at Pig Bush! Or on the walk from Pig Bush. As we walked down towards woods by a railway bridge we saw three and then a massive group of about 20 of them, young and adult, completely pink, black spotty or half black and half pink so a true variety and we loved watching them for a good few minutes our second pigs out for pannage seen this year. The most pigs I have ever seen together before, one of my best days ever for pigs. That wet New Forest walk was also perhaps my best ever day for fungi as in the autumn wonderland of the woods beyond the ford nearer to the car park there were many fallen leaves so perfect for the nutrient loving fruiting bodies of the fungi, the mushrooms of which we saw a huge variety of for shapes, size and colour. There really was a mushroom everywhere we looked on that forest floor it was a real feast for the eyes, I took so many pictures of them that day one of my best ever autumn moments. This really captivated me which is what its all about. This completed perhaps my best ever week of autumn photos. The next day was another New Forest classic in which I produced over 40 pictures in my first visit to Rockford Common since 2018 a very nostalgic visit for me coming here in autumn when we so often came here between 2014 and 2017 I would say so many memories, another very beautiful spot. It was that usual first post-clocks going back walk, with a jacket needed on for the whole walk and a certain feel to it when the sun shone but a gloomy shadow across the landscape when it did not. That day became another brilliant day for autumn leaves and mushrooms as I saw so many more of the latter of a great variety and especially it was brilliant to see lots of red fly agarics my favourite mushrooms I’d maybe never seen so many at once before in a great autumn for me for them I took so many pictures with my macro lens of them that day the first of those with my macro this year as I had taken some at Blackwater before with my big lens. One of those Blackwater ones actually I made my Twitter display picture for a monthly rotation that day the first mushroom picture ever to be this for me. It was a fantastic fix of fly agaric that day at Rockford Common I was honoured to see so many taking one of my best ever pictures of one too and I have photographed so many over the years. That photo also appeared in the Hampshire Chronicle as part of a lucky and amazing run where I was so fortunate to have one of my photos published in it for six consecutive weeks. That day I was also thrilled to see my all-important first Fieldfare and first Redwings of the autumn with Starlings in good numbers on the heath too. Before that I took pictures of the tree visible in someone’s garden from my room really looking bright and yellow hitting its peak for colour and some colour in the landscape visible from my room. The next day more autumn leaves at home and Lakeside where I enjoyed so many more lovely colourful scenes again that week, nice brown mushrooms out the front and at Lakeside and a Pied Wagtail by the garden again all greeted me, a day that a rainbow shone in the mostly sunny day in the morning it was surreal the sun setting before I finished work in my room.

That Wednesday at Lakeside I noticed whilst some autumn leaves were still on trees, after wet and windy weather a lot were on the floor and it was as though someone had flicked the switch from autumn to winter with swathes of bare patches on trees in the landscape. That day I also loved noticing a large charm of finches over Lakeside, containing Goldfinch or Siskin or likely both big flocks of these do come here in the winter which threw me forward to those days. I also saw that day maybe my biggest mushrooms of the season as helped by the inspiring BBC Autumnwatch I realised what an amazing autumn for mushrooms as well as so much else in a rich one it was. The next day it was nice to speak to some fellow admirers of the lonely tree that goes bright red by the visitor centre at Lakeside at a safe social distance to comment on how lovely it looked as I photographed it looking very rich in colour which was lovely. I also saw my first winter thrush at Lakeside of the season seeing a noteworthy Fieldfare on a tree north of the steam railway station. A Blue, Great and Long-tailed Tit flock of decent numbers and a great variety of garden birds again at home before the walk were pleasing moments that day too. The amount of birds seen especially little ones seems so synonymous with this time of year. That continued the next day a gloomy and blustery affair for sure with the tits again, Starlings and Black-headed Gulls on my walk around the green out the front and Lakeside. That week with it being the kid’s half term the steam railway train at Lakeside was running and seeing it shoot along the track out of trees emerging quite a lot in rainy and misty conditions was so atmospheric and beautiful. A variety of coastal birds including lots of lovely Brent Geese flying over, Spotted Redshank, other waders and lots and lots of Wigeons, as well as nice interesting and atmospheric light for the time of year amongst it the novelty still of being out when the sun set when out on weeks was waiting for me the next day. I took the tenth and final picture in this photoset of autumn leaves on a bush in our garden in a bit of sun before we went out that day. I wrote about the end of my autumn in my 11th bonus highlights blog the last one about my November and December.

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nadziejastar · 4 years

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I pretty much agree with all the points. I hate how Xion essentially replaced Kairi in KH3. Replicas now just do whatever the plot needs them to. Namine’s connection to Roxas was eclipsed once Xion was created.

And yet, I cannot be too upset at Xion’s creation or her role in Days. In KH3, I agree she shouldn’t exist anymore and should have stayed disappeared. But in Days, I liked her presence. Her existence is extremely convoluted. But she added something important the trio.

She existed for Axel’s benefit. Xion was the foundation for Lea’s future friendship with Kairi. Without her as the link, we get…well KH3, where Lea and Kairi have a casual friendship that’s not very deep or meaningful.

– How did you come up with Xion, who became such a key person in the storyline?

Nomura: We showed how Roxas left Organization XIII in KH2. At the same time as we were polishing off the KH2 project, we had assumed to a certain extent what Roxas’ movements were during the time period when Days happens, and thought that “Roxas definitely left the Organization because of the influence of someone close to him.” And, we thought that “someone” should be a girl his own age. Flowing from that, we began to construct the storyline, beginning with Xion’s existence.

Xion existed also for Roxas’s benefit. I was happy that she took on the role of “most important person to Roxas” in Days. Even in KH2, it was clear that Roxas was not nearly as emotionally invested in his friendship with Axel as Axel was. They weren’t really super close. Roxas left the organization due to a girl his own age. Someone he would have been closer to.

IMO, it would have been boring to have a whole game about Roxas and Axel’s duo relationship. They didn’t know each other that well. Axel never talked about himself. He kept Roxas at a distance and kept his secrets to himself. So, I was glad Xion existed to offer Roxas a peer.

Xion really reinforced the idea that Roxas and Axel weren’t really peers. Roxas cared about Axel, but he took him for granted, too. He blamed him for everything that was happening. Roxas couldn’t understand how Axel basically sacrificed his own friendship with him, all so that he wouldn’t have to be the one to destroy Xion himself. Axel decided to get his hands dirty so Roxas wouldn’t have to, knowing Roxas would hate him for it. Roxas didn’t truly appreciate Axel or understand him.

And I actually loved this a LOT. It felt a lot more realistic, considering the age gap. And it fit the way they were portrayed in KH2 way more than “Roxas and Axel are BFFs!” So, I liked the trio dynamic in Days more than I would have liked the Roxas/Axel duo dynamic. I also think without Xion, way too many people would have misinterpreted Axel’s interest in Roxas as romantic, which I don’t think Nomura wanted AT ALL.

Roxas put Xion on a pedestal, and obsessed over her, like a normal straight teenage boy would. But he kept forgetting to give Axel the ‘Winner’ stick until the very end. Roxas essentially treated him like a mentor or a friendly coworker. Roxas cared about Axel and enjoyed talking to him, but he was not really as excited to hang out with him as a true peer. Roxas was waaaay more excited to hang out with Xion than Axel.

Due to the way Roxas and Axel were portrayed in KH2, that’s also why I was happy to see Axel’s relationship with Saix take precedence. Axel was more emotionally invested in his relationship with Saix (his peer) than his relationship with Roxas (not his peer). It balanced out the imbalance of Roxas and Axel’s KH2 relationship.

In Days, he says to Xion that she and Roxas can “keep on running, but I’ll always be there to bring you back!” In context, this was a selfish, possessive threat. It was Axel saying “Screw what you two want or need! I want and need you at my side in the Organization and I’ll drag you back there against your will no matter how many times you try to escape!”

But once Axel is revived as Lea in 3D, the narrative pretends that wasn’t the case and now insists that it’s a noble pledge, a promise to “always bring his friends back” when they disappear, and that it’s legitimately what they want him to do. An interesting, morally gray character was totally whitewashed so that he deserves the ideal happy ending that he receives. All from something he said to Xion.

I agree with this. Axel was morally gray and his promise was not 100% noble. When he pledged to bring Xion back, it was for his own selfish reasons.

Axel didn’t care anymore about what the Organization needed, what Xion or Roxas wanted, or even what was supposed to be good for the worlds. He had been using the Organization for his own ends from the start. The only thing that had changed in the meantime was who it was all for. Maybe Saïx would call that a betrayal. But his world had changed.

He admitted this in the novel. He was always doing everything for himself first and foremost. IMO, it wasn’t Xion’s existence that ruined Axel’s moral grayness. It was Axel’s lack of a backstory with Isa.

“Is it true that I’m not supposed to exist?” she asked quietly.

“Well, what do you want to do, Xion?” said Axel.

She thought for a moment. Now that someone was asking, she could see the answer for the first time. “I want…I want to be with you two.”

I think Axel was genuinely trying very hard to do what was best because he remembered how Isa was. He was trying to be more like him. He spent the entire game sacrificing his desires and trying to do what was “right” for Roxas and Xion. And that was for Xion to go away.

“How will I know? I’m not sure I can promise you I’ll come up with the right answer.” Even her self-doubt was so much like Sora.

“Well, the answer you come up with can’t just be right for just you,” said Riku. “It has to be the one that works best for everybody—you and your friends and everyone else. Just think about it.”

She had to sacrifice what she wanted to do what was right for everyone. Axel’s actions did not really even save her. Quite the opposite. All that happened was that Roxas had to kill her instead of her disappearing peacefully on her own. Axel wound up causing the very thing he spent the whole game trying to prevent. It was his fault Roxas had to destroy Xion with his own two hands. And the outcome actually played right into Xemnas’s hands. I thought it was quite clear that Xion was doing the right thing by going back to Sora. That’s where she belonged. She really wasn’t supposed to exist.

This is the way it has to go, Axel told himself, lying on his bed. This is the right course.

But he was swamped with misgivings, unable to accept his own decisions. How could he choose between Roxas and Xion? And yet, that was exactly what he’d been forced to do. Then Xion had walked away of her own accord. Then again, this did little to alter the big picture. All it meant was that Xion would no longer be draining strength from Roxas. The plan would only suffer a slight delay in progress—nothing more. Although even that slight delay would let Roxas remain himself for a little longer.

And Axel thought so, too. He logically accepted that Xion disappearing would be better for everyone. She was sucking Roxas’s strength. Axel originally let her leave, knowing she would disappear.

“It’s the best thing for everyone,” said Xion.

Everyone? Everyone, who? For us? Or…for someone else? “How do you know that?” Axel demanded. “Everyone thinks they’re right…”

“This is right,” Xion said firmly. “It’s better this way.”

Axel hated that argument. Nothing was better any which way. All it came down to was what you wanted to do and what you didn’t. He’d learned that lesson back when he had a heart.

But…he was being a hypocrite. I think at the end he realized it. Lea was not willing to let Isa sacrifice himself for the greater good. He didn’t care if that was the right thing to do or the best thing for everyone. He was too selfish to let him die.

“Say, Naminé… Are you still going to try to meet Kairi?”

Her head snapped up at the unexpected question. Across from her, Axel met her gaze, grave and earnest. “I have to help her,” she said with a sad smile.

He scowled. “Is that really the best thing?”

“The best thing…?” Naminé set her crayons down on the table, her gaze dropping as she thought for a moment, and then she smiled at him again. “It’s the right thing.”

In response, Axel only leaned back and rocked in the chair again. No one could know what was right or wrong.

IMO, Isa was more selfless than Lea. Axel was a broken person who was very maladjusted. He had unresolved issues with Isa/Saix. He was trying to protect Isa all over again. That was his main motivation for bringing Xion back, despite knowing it wouldn’t really save her.

Axel was selfish when he wanted to bring Roxas back, too. Roxas didn’t want to go back to the organization. Axel knew that he was happier in the data world. Axel wanted him back for selfish reasons. The same reason he always lied to him and refused to tell him about his connection to Sora or Ventus. He lied because he didn’t want Roxas to go vanishing on him. Axel had severe abandonment issues due to his relationship with Isa/Saix. These issues never really got resolved or even addressed in KH3. Giving Axel a happy ending where Roxas and Xion just conveniently poof back into existence really didn’t do his character justice. But Xion’s original creation in Days wasn’t really the problem IMO. It was how everything was handled in KH3 that was the problem.

#kh axel #kh xion #submission

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the-blind-assassin-12 · 5 years

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I See You: Part Seven

A/N: I’m obsessed with flashbacks. Sue me, okay? Lots of background here. i promise that we swan dive head first back into the talk in the next part...but this is some important stuff.

Word Count: 4,037

“Don’t you know that I loved you, Billy?”

Shit. You hadn’t meant for those words to come out, but they had. Even if you could take them back, though, you wouldn’t. Your biggest regret, the one you carried with you every day since your last conversation with Billy, was that you’d never told him that you loved him. It should be in person, I’ll wait until after this next tour, I don't want to do this over the phone or in an email. They were all sound excuses, but that’s all they were- excuses. I don’t want to ruin the friendship, what we have is already so great, he knows that I’m here, that I care… that’s enough. But it wasn’t and you couldn’t fool yourself or him into thinking that it was anymore. You loved him, and that love eclipsed everything and anything he could possibly tell you, any reason he could possibly come up with for why he wasn’t worthy of you. You loved Billy Russo, and you had for years. The fact that it was out in the open now changed nothing. You were glad, tired of keeping it in. You thought you’d lost your chance to tell him, but you hadn’t. You heard his breath catch, and then the world went silent as your mind found the memory of the first time you realized it...the moment that you knew that your heart would always belong to him.

. . . . . . . . .

You were halfway up the second flight of steps when you felt a vibration coming from the front pocket of your bag. Suddenly, the dim lighting and drab, peeling taupe paint of the stairwell brightened as you dug out your phone and read the name on the caller I.D. Russo. The extremely disappointing lunch date you’d just escaped melted away as you swiped your thumb across the screen, smile spreading wide. Forgoing a normal greeting, your excitement bubbled through the speaker. “Did it get there?” You took the rest of the steps two at a time, bright green flats slapping the crumbling tiles of the ancient staircase, hurrying back to the seclusion of your apartment.

Billy laughed in response. “Yeah, it got here.” Your grin spread wide across your lips and you imagined the way that laugh would look on his face; how his cheeks would rise up towards his eyes, how that little shine would be there in those onyx depths, how his nose would crinkle and his tongue would be visible just behind a perfect set of white teeth.

“Did you open it yet?” You reached your floor and practically ran to your door, jingling keys already in hand. Shoving the main one into the lock and giving a quick turn, you threw the door open and closed it behind you.

He laughed again, and the deep sound travelled down into your chest, making it swell. You loved hearing Billy laugh, mostly because you knew that it wasn’t a common occurrence. But, if you were being entirely honest with yourself, you also loved knowing that you had an easier time coaxing that laugh out of him than anyone else in the world. “Of course not. I know better than that. You told me to wait until I called you, so that’s what I did. You home?”

“Just got in. Okay, Russo,” you tossed your bag onto the loveseat and flopped into the overstuffed chair by the window. Your shoes slipped from your feet as you pulled them up beneath you, leaning back into the warmth of the sunlight coming through the glass. The date had all but left your mind, completely forgetting about how Jack had called you by the wrong name, droned on extensively about the ins and outs of his job at the Sam Adams brewery- he was a tour guide, but he was trying his damndest to glorify that position and you weren’t having it- and asked you absolutely zero questions about yourself nor showed much interest in you at all. I’ll have to remember to thank Ant for setting me up with this paper thin excuse for a man, you had mused, leaving the cafe as quickly as you could. But even the carefully and colorfully worded “thank you” you were planning to deliver to Anthony had evaporated completely as you could hear the sound of a blade opening on Billy’s end of the line. “Open ‘er up.”

You heard a zip as he dragged the sharp point across the packing tape, slicing your package open. You’d only sent it three days ago, thrilled that this year you wouldn’t have to wait the extra time for it to make it overseas, through all the security checkpoints, and then for him to actually have time to open it while there was an available phone line that he could call you from. Last year you’d had to wait a full week after your tracking number showed that the package had arrived at the APO in Mosul before Billy was able to call you for the unboxing, and the anticipation- along with the worry for his safety- had driven you slightly nuts. It was much better when he was in New York for his birthday, for a lot of reasons. Boston to New York isn’t that far, he’s safe, I can hear his voice today and not a week from now…

Not that you actually knew when his birthday was. You’d gotten the story on Billy’s birthday early on in your friendship, only a few months after you’d invited him to stay when he’d been stood up by Lexi. It had been your birthday, and you were going out with some friends- Lexi, of course, her sister Drea, Anthony was coming up from New York, and a few others that you no longer kept in touch with- when he sent you an out-of-the-blue text as was his M.O. You’d texted back and forth for a while, telling him that you’d really rather be home in sweatpants with a beer and a good movie, and he’d teased you a little for being a homebody, prompting you to ask the question that had started this gift-giving tradition: Okay then Russo, if you’re the expert on Birthdays, what do you do for yours?

Lexi and Drea were bickering about who would get the next round, the current round still sitting on the bar top before you, bright pink and nowhere near the type of alcoholic beverage you would have chosen for yourself, but you were preoccupied with the three little dots at the bottom of your phone screen indicating that Billy was typing a response. Nothing. I don’t celebrate. I hate my birthday.

The short, hard, punctuated sentences carried hurt and bad memories. Even though you were out with your friends, and the atmosphere was light and jovial, you suddenly felt a frown form on your lips. It wasn’t the response you’d expected, and it bothered you to think of why he would feel that way. You chewed your lower lip as you thought about how to respond, but the little dots were back on the bottom of the screen so you waited to see what his next message said. But don’t let me rain on your parade. You takin’ shots? Take one for me...and Happy Birthday.

You looked at the vibrantly colored drink in front of you and slid it down to Lexi before raising a hand to get the bartender’s attention. “Can I get a double Maker’s, please?” You ordered a replacement shot, the bartender pouring with a very heavy hand. Thanking him, you ignored the lingering look and the brush of his fingers on yours as he passed you the glass at no charge. You wasted no time in snapping a photo of yourself and your shot, and sending it to Billy. Cheers, Russo. You clinked your glass to Lexi’s as she took both unnaturally magenta drinks in one gulp, before throwing back the amber liquid. You sent one more text, before the girls pulled you out onto the dance floor: Can I call you when I get home?

The response was immediate, the dots barely even registering this time. Of course. Be safe, have fun. Talk to you later, birthday girl.

With that, you let Lexi and Drea pull you out to where Ant was already making a fool of himself with his moves. You danced to a few songs, snapped a few pictures, and then made a pitiful excuse to turn in, claiming that your feet were killing you. Drea seemed drunk enough to buy it, but Lexi shot you a questioning look before flicking her eyes down to your shoes- bright green flats that she knew for a fact were your comfiest pair of “going out” shoes, as she’d borrowed them plenty of times before. She quirked an eyebrow and tilted her head questioningly in the direction of the bartender that had been flirting with you before. You made a disapproving face, explaining that you were in no way trying to leave with the bartender, you were just tired, it had been a long week, and that you really were looking forward to your sweats. “Fine, guess you really are an ‘ol lady now,” she rolled her eyes but gave you a hug as you pulled your phone out to call a cab. You thanked Lexi and Drea, hugged Ant and a few others goodbye, and climbed into the cab.

Trudging up the three flights of steps, you pulled your phone out and dialed Billy’s number. It rang three times, and just as you reached your door, debating whether or not to leave a message, he picked up, greeting you by name. “You home?” he asked. “Or you still out?”

“Hey, no, I just got in. Are you free? I don’t mean to bother-” You suddenly realized that it was Friday night, and though you had turned in early, the rest of your age bracket most likely hadn’t, Billy certainly included. You wondered if he was out at a bar looking for someone to leave with, or maybe he’d already found the lucky winner and was on his way to the next location. You didn’t have too much time to wonder, though, because he cut you off as you opened the door to your apartment and flicked the lights on.

“You’re not botherin’ me. I’m just payin’ my tab and headin’ home.” You could hear the distinct sounds of bar noise in the background- glasses clinking and music playing, people talking and laughing, the crack of billiards balls as someone broke them up. You could also hear a female voice sounding a bit miffed to hear that Billy was leaving.

“You sure, Russo? I don’t wanna interfere with any plans you might be in the middle of making.” You couldn’t help but tease a little. Afterall, you only knew Billy, only had this friendship with him because he’d picked Lexi up at a bar.

“Yeah, I’m sure. So tell me how your birthday went. S’kinda early to be gettin’ back, isn’t it?” You heard the background noise diminish and figured that he must have been heading away from the crowded bar. A jingling bell told you that you were correct as he stepped out into the street.

“Yeah, but you know, I’m an old lady now so I can’t be out with the young whippersnappers until all hours of the night. Plus, one greasy bartender hitting on me was enough. The quality of the dudes that show interest goes down as the night goes on, so I figured I would quit while I was not at all ahead.” You laughed and plucked at a loose thread in the arm of the overstuffed chair you’d just dropped into. “Partying like that isn’t really my scene, anyway. Lexi and our friends...I really went just for them. Like I told you, if I had it my way, we’d all be in our PJs drinking cheap beer and eating pizza.”

“You really are an old lady, you know that?” You could hear the shit-eating grin on his perfect face. If he were there you’d throw a pillow at him.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” you said, and he did. It felt good to hear him laugh, made you smile. Even though you hadn’t known each other for very long, his friendship was important to you and you found yourself wanting to know everything you could about him. Even the parts that he hid away. Like what he’d said earlier about his birthday. “Hey...Billy? Can I ask you something?”

You heard him clear his throat as his laughter died down. “Yeah, birthday girl, shoot.”

You bit your bottom lip before asking. “Why did you say you hate your birthday?” Your heart rate picked up and pounded dizzily against your ribs. “I just...You said you hate it, and...nevermind, you don't have to…”

He sniffed, and again cut you off. “Nah, it’s okay. I brought it up...it’s just not, you know the happiest story, but...I just...growin’ up for me...things were…” he sighed and you imagined those long fingers running through his glossy, dark hair. “I didn’t have the best childhood, ya know? I...I grew up in this state run home. And my birthday… it was always a reminder that no one really cared about me. They’d always have a gift you know? Like a matchbox car or some shit. And one of those flimsy blank cards you get as a thank you for donating to like the SPCA or Easter Seals or whatever...you know with some hack painting of a red truck or a city skyline? I guess that was somethin’. But it was always just… I dunno it always just kinda rubbed it in for me that no one cared. I didn’t even like matchbox cars, ya know? But they didn’t care. Givin’ the kids gifts there...it was just like checkin’ a box so they could feel like they did all they could to give us normal lives.” His voice didn’t waver, just carried evenly as he delivered this heartbreaking detail as though it were a fact of life. You didn’t breathe, afraid to shatter the moment as he continued. “And I still don’t really have anyone to...to celebrate with or...so yeah, I just...don’t.”

“I care about your birthday, Billy. I’d celebrate with you.” A friend could say that, right?

There was a slight pause on the other end, and you worried that you’d overstepped. Oh shit...maybe I can claim that I'm drunk and rambling and not making sense and- “Well, thanks,” he said, silencing your thoughts. “It, uh...it passed already this year anyway though, so...don’t give it another thought, okay?”

“Yeah,” you agreed. “Okay.” No way I’m not giving it another thought. In fact, you already gave it all the thought it needed, and you smiled to yourself as you continued on with your conversation with Billy, telling him about your night- about the bartender that had struck out miserably, about the neon hue of the drinks Lexi and Drea insisted on ordering, about Anthony’s horrible seizure-like dance moves. But it the back of your mind, you were already orchestrating what would become one of your favorite traditions with Billy- the celebration of his birthday on random, surprise dates each year, by sending him small, personal gifts that only someone who knew him, really knew him, and cared for him, could possibly know that he’d want.

The first gift you’d sent had gotten to him only a few weeks before he and Frank were set to ship out, and you were glad he’d received it before leaving the States. He’d mentioned once in passing that on his first deployment it had shocked him how chilly it got in the desert at night, and how his freshly buzzed head was cold for a whole month before his hair grew in. An endearing image of a shivering Billy with nothing but military grade peach fuzz covering his head filled your mind as you dragged Lexi to a knitting class at your local craft store one afternoon. She’d complained and rolled her eyes, but by the end she had a purple and black scarf that she’d wear for several winters to come, and you had a burnt orange skull cap to keep Billy’s head warm on those frigid desert nights.

He’d called you when it arrived, a curious lift to his voice as he asked “Why is there a box on my doorstep with your address as the return?”

“Just open it, Russo,” you’d answered, nervous excitement rising in your chest as you bit your thumbnail and listened to the rustling sound coming through the phone. You’d tucked a card in the package, right on top so he’d have to open it first. Paper tearing told you that he’d found the bright blue envelope, his name written on it in big looping letters with balloons drawn on either side.

“A birthday card? But it’s not...I told you it passed already...what is…”

Happy Birthday, Billy. I know it’s not your real birthday, but I thought maybe this could be a way to celebrate it anyway. Just thought maybe you’d want to know that I care. You’d signed it with your name, simple, no need to wax poetic, but you hoped he felt the meaning behind your few words.

“A hat?” there was a smile in his voice, replacing the confusion. “You...did you make this...for me?”

“I did, Marine, so keep your criticism to yourself because I’m very new to knitting and my fragile constitution can’t take harsh comments about the uneven stitches or-”

“Why did you do this for me?” he was quiet, and it hurt you to know that he was so shocked by such a small gesture...to know that he really must not have had anyone show him even the smallest inclination that they cared, that they listened.

“Because you’re my friend, Billy. And I don’t want your noggin to freeze next month when you’re shivering in a tent somewhere. Now put it on and tell me how perfectly it fits. And if it doesn’t fit, lie to me.”

“No it’s...it’s perfect...it’s…” he chuckled and you thought it sounded a little choked. “Best gift I’ve ever gotten. New favorite hat. Comin’ everywhere with me...Thank you, I...I don’t… thanks.”

You’d never forget the warmth you felt as your lips turned upwards and you swallowed the lump brought on by his gratitude for something so small. “You’re welcome, Billy. Wear it well.”

And just like that, Operation: Billy’s Birthday began. But sitting in your armchair as he opened your gift that third year, you could hardly contain your excitement. The hat had been good, and the second year you’d given him a pair of reflective aviators because he’d told you that Top Gun was one of his favorite movies, but the box he was currently opening contained a piece of his childhood...one of the only happy pieces you’d ever heard him talk about. You’d been trading stories about the “best day of your lives” one afternoon on the phone, and he told you about the time he’d ditched school with some friends and caught a train from Albany to NYC for a Yankees game that they’d been saving for. He was 15 and obsessed with baseball, but had never gone to a game.

“No adults tellin’ us what to do, nobody makin’ us feel like we didn’t belong there. I ate my weight in peanuts I think, and caught a pretty bad sunburn...but the Yanks won and Williams made some great plays...the guys and I, we couldn’t shut up the whole train ride back. Got in some deep shit when we got back to the home but...it was well worth it. Only regret is that I don’t have a picture or anything, not even my ticket stub.”

You’d tracked down the scorecard from that game- April 13, 1999, New York Yankees over the Baltimore Orioles- online, and stuck it in a frame. Simple. Easy. But part of the best day of Billy Russo’s life. So there was nothing simple about it. And hearing him gasp when he opened it, imagining his mouth dropping open and his fingers running over the little boxes on the sheet of paper beneath the glass...there was nothing at all simple about that either. In that moment, eyes closed and listening to Billy open his birthday gift, listening to the absolute joy in his voice as he thanked you...in that moment, you knew that you wanted to hear that joy for the rest of your life. You wanted to be the one that made him happy, that made him realize that he was worth caring about. You wanted to listen to him and learn about him and show him that you…

That you loved him. That you still loved him. That you always would.

. . . . . . . . .

“Don’t you know that I loved you, Billy?”

His mouth went dry and his eyes went wide and wild. She… she loved me… how… he looked at you, leaning forward, tears shining on your cheeks. He’d just told you about the pile of dogshit he’d gotten himself into. About how he lied to you, about the dirty money he’d used to start Anvil, and how he betrayed his brothers...betrayed Frank. You’d held his hand and listened. You’d told him that you’d always cared about him...told him that you’d accepted him- all of him, even the broken parts and the ugly bits. Billy ran a hand over his face, feeling the jagged skin beneath his palm. How could she love me? I’m a fucking monster.

But he wasn’t always. And maybe he didn’t have to be anymore. He stuffed a hand in his pocket, fingers curling around the soft, well worn material of the burnt orange hat you’d made him all those years ago. “Comin’ with me everywhere,” he’d said. And it had. He pulled it from his pocket and ran his hands around the folded brim, thinking for the millionth time about how you’d made it from scratch, thinking of your hands holding the knitting needles, probably getting frustrated and yanking stitches out before re-doing them. She did this...she did so much...for me...because she loved me and… He pulled the hat over his short hair, despite the warm temperature.

“I…”

He thought about the time he’d spent the night at your place, about how you hadn’t wanted anything from him, only wanted to be there for him. He thought about your cards and notes, your emails and the pictures you’d sent him through the years. He thought about that one picture in particular, the one he’d deleted when he deleted your number. He thought about the moment that he knew he loved you- when you’d threatened to send him a romance novel with Fabio on the cover, joking freely only minutes after you’d told him that he deserved more than what he allowed himself to have. He loved you for the way that you cared. He loved you for the sound of your voice. He loved you, but he was too afraid of losing you to say anything.

But now you were here. You were here in front of him and you weren’t running away. And he wasn’t going to miss another chance. He still had things to tell you, and you still had a lot to share. But even if the rest of the conversation lead to you telling him that you wanted nothing more to do with him, he wasn’t going to let the moment pass again.

“I should have told you this a long time ago…” he wet his lips with his tongue, reaching out to take your hand in his again. You jumped, but only slightly, and allowed him to mold his palm around yours, to slip his knobby knuckled fingers in between your own.

“I...I loved you, too. I love you...I always will.”

. . . . . . . . . .

@something-tofightfor @its-my-little-dumpster-fire @suchatinyinfinity @lexxierave @agent-bossypants @zaffrenotes @songforhema @thesumofmychoices @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @lysawayne @roses-in-your-country-house @ymariejp @belladonnarey @audreychaz

please let me know if you would like to be added or removed!

#i see you #ISY #billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo x you #the punisher alternate ending #billy russo x reader imagine #billy russo x you imagine #happy birthday billy russo #birthday traditions #billy is a yankee fan #because he loves breaking my heart #sad mets fan right here #but it's fine

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hazyheel · 5 years

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WWE Summerslam 2019 Predictions

Ah, the second biggest show of the year. Up until last week, I was actually worried about this card a bit. There weren’t a lot of huge matches, despite how good a lot of them look, they were just a bit lacking in star power. That was until Trish Stratus was brought in for a huge match with Charlotte, and Dolph Ziggler was fed to Goldberg to make him look good. Even still, there are only ten matches this year, and a lot of titles that aren’t being defended. No tag team titles are on the card despite them being in a feud with each other, and the Women’s tag was bumped to Raw. Ali vs. Nakamura for the IC title was blown off in an okay match at Smackville, while Black vs. Zayn was given away on Smackdown. I have a feeling that we will be getting a Roman Reigns match with either Daniel Bryan, Rowan or Buddy Murphy, which will make eleven, but that still leaves room for one more pre show match if they want to get some people on the card. But it looks like a pretty good show all things considered, and I am definitely excited. Here are my predictions.

We will start things off with Finn Balor vs. The Fiend, Bray Wyatt. Wyatt has been reimagined as someone possessed by a demon, trying to act like a friendly guy so people will let him in. He came out and attacked Finn Balor as his first victim, before also attacking Mick Foley and Kurt Angle on sepearate weeks. Balor challenged Wyatt to settle things at Summerslam, which was accepted. Pretty simple stuff, and easy prediction. Wyatt wins here. He has a new gimmick where he needs to be incredibly dominant so that he can move up into the main event where he belongs, and Balor has been said to be taking some time off after the match. So I could see them having a nice little match, ending in Wyatt seriously injuring Balor for a few months, and then a possible rematch at the Royal Rumble or Mania, Demon vs. Fiend. That’s how I would book it anyway. We’ve seen these two fight before and it wasn’t awesome, but Wyatt has a new lease on life, so the new fire in him may lead to a better match. I’m excited either way.

Then we have Kevin Owens vs. Shane McMahon. If Owens loses, he is forced to quit WWE. This stems from a conflict between the two where Owens is the voice of the fans. He said that Shane takes up too much TV time, and is taking away from a whole bunch of more deserving stars. So he said that if he can’t beat Shane, he’d rather quit. Shane is obviously going to stack the deck with McIntyre and Elias, but I think Owens pulls out the win. He certainly isn’t on his way out, and they know that X-Pac heat doesn’t work as well if they do it all the damn time. Shane should lose and spend some time away from the product. It’s what the fans want, and it would be for the best. I doubt this will be good.

Into a legend match, it is Dolph Ziggler vs. Goldberg. It was a winding road to get to this, so bare with me. It started with Ziggler on Miz TV insulting his wife for no reason, so that ended in a brawl. Then Miz had Shawn Michaels on, and Ziggler insulted both of them, saying that legends take up too much TV time and they can’t let go of their glory days. Any time they get in the ring it is embarrassing, and he constantly referenced Goldberg when he talked about that. That is a reference to his piss poor showing at Super Showdown. He and Michaels started to fight after Michaels called Ziggler a knockoff Shawn Michaels, taking out Miz in the process and ending with Ziggler superkicking Michaels. So then a match between Miz and Ziggler was scheduled. Any time that Ziggler was interviewed in the ensuing weeks, he would crap all over Goldberg for no real reason, and he started to imitate the sweet chin music when he did a superkick. Eventually, he and Miz went to sign a contract for their match, which was weird because it was a very filler match I thought, but Miz told him afterwards that the match wasn’t with him. Everyone’s mind went to Michaels, who was also there for some reason, but then Goldberg came out. He signed the contract as an irate Ziggler ran around ringside until Michaels gave him the sweet chin music. Basically, this match is to make Goldberg look good after an awful Saudi Arabia match. Undertaker did it in the tag match in Extreme Rules, and now Goldberg will do it. The match will probably only be a couple minutes, five tops if they are smart, and Goldberg will have a dominant victory. Ziggler’s selling will be in overdrive, so that’ll be fun to watch, and it actually makes me look forward to this.

The next match is another legend match in a similar vein: Charlotte Flair vs. Trish Stratus. Trish was on a segment of the king’s court, when Charlotte interrupted. She was furious that she was not on the Summerslam card, so she challenged Stratus to prove that she is the best Women’s wrestler in WWE history. She said that Stratus always wanted one more match, but it is a delusion, and she can’t hang with the women of today. They aren’t models anymore, they are athletes. Stratus said that maybe she can’t hang, but she wants to try. She wants to prove to the fans, her family, and herself that she is still good enough. It is an inspirational story of a veteran against a cocky young upstart, similar to Ziggler and Goldberg but better told. Charlotte should get the win here, because it is a huge match for her, and a win over a legend like Stratus would be great for her career. I think that this will be pretty good, because Stratus wrestled about a year ago, and she was pretty good, so I bet this will at least be okay.

Into the first of the championship matches, we have the Cruiserweight Championship match: champion Drew Gulak vs. challenger Oney Lorcan. Not a lot of story behind this, because the challenger would have been Mike Kanellis had he beaten Drake Maverick in the unsanctioned match, but he didn’t. So, Maverick put together a Six Pack challenge for #1 contendership, which Lorcan won. That is about it. Both are hard hitting brawlers that can get technical if they want to. I think that Gulak will get the win simply because it isn’t his time to lose yet. Not enough story to make it meaningful, but it should be a pretty good match. Maybe the cruiserweights on the pre-show can steal the show like they have so many times this year.

In an Extreme Rules rematch, Ricochet takes on AJ Styles for the United States Championship. The two have been feuding since Styles beat Ricochet in a non title match, proceeding to lose the follow up title match and turning heel on Ricochet. They fought at Extreme Rules with Styles winning the belt, and he and the OC continued to taunt Ricochet afterwards. Ricochet then won a gauntlet match for #1 contendership, defeating Andrade after coming out last. The two just hate each other, because Ricochet loves to stand up to bullies and that is what AJ has become. I think Styles wins here to keep pushing the OC, but I bet he will drop it back to Ricochet after some time apart, maybe even in a ladder match. This is the match I am most looking forward to, and I think it will steal the show. They have the capacity, so let’s see it.

Then we have Bayley vs. Ember Moon for the Smackdown Women’s Championship. This is a shockingly simple story, with Moon winning a tag match where they teamed together, and Bayley named her the contender. She wanted new names in the mix, and that is what she got. Afterwards, tensions grew as Moon nailed Bayley with an eclipse after a match one week, and Bayley hit a Bayley to belly after another. Bayley did protect Moon from Natalya during an attack, but Moon was wary. This is a dream match of mine that I always wanted to see, but I think Bayley is going to win. I want Moon, but she was pushed out of nowhere. She needs more build if she is gonna be a strong champion. They could put it on her and build her up afterwards, but I don’t think that is likely. They are aiming for a good match rather than an unpredictable one, and that is what they will get.

Next is Natalya vs. Becky Lynch in a submission match for the Raw Women’s Championship. I actually liked the build to this. Nattie won a fatal 4-way elimination match almost out of nowhere to earn this shot, mostly because she is Canadian and Summerslam is in Toronto. However, the feud has built great, with Lynch telling Nattie that she will destroy her in the match, and that Lynch being around is just what Nattie’s career needs. Nattie said that she has the hometown advantage, and she will carry that wave to a victory. Things slowly escalated to attacks during training and after matches, culminating in Nattie refusing to release a sharpshooter on Lynch during a tag match and getting disqualified. She started to act very erratically, pushing over Trish Stratus when she tried to pull Nattie off of Lynch. On Smackdown, Nattie locked Ember Moon in a sharpshooter on the outside, causing a double countout, and pushing Bayley when she ran out for the save. The friendship has disintegrated, and it is awesome. it became a submission match when they started yelling at each other about who can tap out whom. But like I said, Nattie is only in this spot because she is Canadian, so she will lose. I think this will be a really good match, but she will lose. Becky is retaining here because she needs a rematch with Rousey, one on one, before they can even think about taking the title off of her.

And in the WWE Championship match, it is Randy Orton challenging Kofi Kingston. The match came to be after Orton pinned Kingston in a 6 man tag, so naturally he got a title opportunity. However, the story goes back further than that. In 2009, ten years ago, Kofi had just as much popularity as he does now, and he was headed into the championship picture, where Orton held the title. However, during a match, Orton repeatedly called Kingston stupid in an attempt to humiliate him. From that day forward, Orton used his privilege as champion to keep Kingston out of that league. (Outside of kayfabe, Kingston was supposed to stay on the mat to get punted in the head, but he got up and Orton got really mad, and cancelled his push using his backstage influence.) So Kingston could’ve had his world title shot a decade ago if it wasn’t for Orton. Orton countered by saying that he was the whole reason he is champion now anyway, because he injured Ali before Elimination Chamber, allowing Kingston to take his place, and Kofimania ensued. He also said that Kingston isn’t good enough to be in the world Championship picture, and he is taking a load off of his back by taking his championship. Good story, and I think Kingston needs to win here. Kingston should lose the championship soon, but not to Orton. He needs to win here to get his revenge. If Orton wins, then everything he said was true, and being held back was perfectly fine. Kingston needs this win more than any other he has had in his title reign, and he will get it. Could be a pretty good match too.

And in the main event, Seth Rollins challenges Brock Lesnar for the Universal Championship. Their story stretches back to 2015, when Rollins cashed in his Money in the Bank contract on him and Reigns during their WWE Championship match at Wrestlemania, pinning Reigns to win. Fast forward to 2019, when Rollins won the Royal Rumble, and went on to challenge and beat Lesnar at mania again, this time for the Universal Championship. He did it using a low blow, so kinda cheating, but no one cared. Rollins defeated AJ Styles once, and Baron Corbin like three or four times during his reign, while Lesnar was busy winning the Money in the Bank briefcase at the titular pay per view, albeit in a bullshit way by just walking down at the end and beating up Ali. After an intense Championship match at Extreme Rules, where Baron Corbin gave Lynch an end of days, prompting Rollins to destory him with a chair and several curb stomps, Lesnar cashed in his briefcase and regained his championship. Rollins didn’t stay down though. He won a ten man all star battle royal to qualify for a rematch, and Lesnar put him through hell in the ensuing weeks. He beat him down with like 6 F5′s every week, even giving them onto a chair and a stretcher. But Rollins refused to stay down. Even last week, when he limped down to the ring in defiance to Lesnar’s cocky attitude, and he was massacred once again, further injuring already destroyed ribs. Rollins vowed to win after the attack, saying that this is his livelihood and he needs it. This is a very different story from the one at Wrestlemania. Before he was confident and calm, now he is desperate and an underdog. I think this match will go much longer, and I think that Rollins will win. It’s a longshot, because Lesnar eats underdogs for breakfast, but I feel it. I think that it could be good, but it also could just be a bunch of finishers and a pin like at Wrestlemania. I just can’t stand Lesnar as champion, I need it gone.

So, those are my predictions. Seems like a show that has a lot of potential, but could go either way. I just really need Rollins to win. Lesnar with a title is bad for business. It really hurts the TV product. But anyway, this is what I think will happen, and I look forward to the show.

#hazyheel #wwe #summerslam #wwe summerslam #summerslam 2019 #wwe summerslam 2019 #pro wrestling #pay per view #wwe pay per view #wwe predictions #summerslam predictions #wwe summerslam predictions #summerslam 2019 predictions #wwe summerslam 2019 predictions #pro wrestling predictions #pay per view predictions #wwe pay per view predictions

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jawbreakers2015 · 5 years

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Player Profile: Hang

avid modder, occasional TO and montage video producer from Germany top 12 in the Jawbreakers Stunfest Qualifier (artwork of Drop by Kagu)

What names do you go by?

I used to go by Troke for the entirety of April. Which was based on a dumb coincidence where I talked to Neer and had one of my usual mobile spelling errors and I wrote "I'm having ha troke" instead of "having a stroke".

I wanted to go away from "Hang Boy" since quite some time as I specifically wanted to get rid of the "Boy" and just "Hang" felt wrong and was still associated to Hang Boy anyway. But I guess I'm back to that now.

Reason to why I wanted to rid myself of "Boy" was as simple as me linking my online persona to my OC (By choosing her for profile pictures on basically any platform) which then of course lead people to believe she is a male based on the thought "Hey this is Hang Boy. So the profile picture must also be Hang Boy".

The name Hang Boy btw occurred just as I started my first step into the internet, when I was a big fan of the Binding of Isaac. So i needed an online name and I ventured through Isaac related things. Which was when I came across the Tarot card "Hanged Man". So I just took that and adjusted a bit.

How do you feel about your performance in this tournament?

Was pretty okay. I didn't expect to get far into it. Although I'm a bit sad I didn't make the Top 8 picture. Only needed one win more as well.

However I would have been disappointed in everyone else, if they allowed for me to reach Top 3. So good that didn't happen.

What was your strategy preparing for and competing in the tournament?

I haven't played Blaze in weeks. The only times I played recently was to get some recordings for a Toxic montage. Right before the tournament I was more worried to finish my Isaac run. Which I did win!

And during the tournament was pretty much just "Turn some nice music on, jam to it, play some Nitro, do some silly cuff shenanigans, do dumb parry grab down throws so the viewers can laugh over something".

I did "fly" with Nitro in one match but sadly it wasn't streamed so only Hellraiser was able to see the glory of Flying Cuff™.

youtube

Which was your hardest match of the tournament?

Hellraiser I suppose. He did kick me out of it. I never really played him or saw him play and he didn't fall for my aggressive playstyle, so it was a tough time.

What surprised you most about the tournament?

Cherry's second place finish. I know he's good, I think he's underrated even.

But second place is a really good finish. Even more so beating JawDrop since, in my opinion, he has some of the craziest tech and can be really really confusing to play against.

(Yea he also has weird lag even tho he lives in France but whatever :p)

Is there anyone you didn’t face that you wish you did?

I would have wanted to play Defur if possible. To some degree I see his entrance as a sort of meme entry. But jokes aside and game aside, I can only take my hat off to this man and his effort for the tournament scene.

Sadly didn't get to play Daio. It feels like a tradition to face off against him in FellowsTV hosted tournaments. Which always goes the same way tbf. He counters my playstyle hard, I'm annoyed to play against him, don't bother changing my playstyle in order to win, get demolished. But the tradition counts!

I'd put Neer in the same boat. Hate playing against him but it just kinda has to be.

How did you get into Lethal League?

A friend bought it for me. We played a couple of games, he had to leave. I went into QM, found Garu, got absolutely demolished, he friended me and pulled me into it.

I specifically remember seeing his Latch corpse juggles and thinking "Man this is so cool, I want to be able to do this too". So right of the bat I started to play for the style, which is what I still go by.

Style > Efficiency

It feels bad not having paid for LL nor Blaze but I bought LL for a bunch of friends so guess that checks out.

What's your current Lethal League experience?

450+ hours in LL 340 hours in Blaze (As of now. 26.4.2019) And a giant bunch of hours of community interaction and modding.

I was very excited when asked to be beta testing and it fulfilled a childhood dream of being in video game credits.

Despite only getting into Beta a month before release, I stacked up 90 hours before the game came out. Lots of 9 hour playtime days. It was massive fun.

I bought almost all of the merch...got most signed by Tim & Dion too. I went to the Netherlands twice to meet TR. It was fun, they are cool people. Watching Dion doing a live dance off was pretty rad ngl.

I brought self made cheesecake the second time, but Tim had to get it into the building since they check your bags for normal visitors and it wasn't allowed to bring food.

I'll never forget the sight of Tim with his big bag looking like he's smuggling a bomb into a convention.

Who are your main/side/counter character picks?

Everything. So yes random, it's random.

However I most enjoy playing Nitro because of all the dumb things he can do. Especially flying, cuff storage (specifically for down angle on the ground, to just pull a little bit forward) and half pull.

Doombox is also very fun. Special>bunt>smash>parry>special>repeat can chain pretty often on some opponents and is hilarious.

The only characters I "despise" playing are Toxic and Sonata. But only because I'm really bad with them.

What are your favourite character outfits?

Dust and Ashes. Just their whole design.

For real tho. There's not really skins that stick out to me since I use my own modded ones.

Can you share your favourite/most used custom outfit?

Hm I missed that that's not "outfits"...well take a load of skins! In order

Mothyman Jeviman Spacetor Golden Switch Drop Palette Sonata Supercharged Latch PaDice-a the Rapper Skull Grunt Supercharged Grid Supercharged Doombox Dropbox FYouBox Nitro with a blue, white and mint color scheme I made for every character and lastly my Toxic skin with that same color scheme

What are your stage preferences?

Idc. I play random so who really cares. I guess insert the usual "Paradise field eclipse succs!!!"

What input method do you use?

PS4 Controller Dpad for movement L1 Bunt R1 Swing R2 Grab

I used to play LL on a cheap SNES controller using only face buttons. When I was over at Dutch Comic Con with Serchiot I played a couple games of Blaze with his PS4 controller and really liked his layout and the feel of the controller. So I just sneakily stole his layout and got myself a PS4 controller.

Coming from all face buttons, I needed some time to get used to it. But in my opinion it's just superior this way.

How do you make your character montage videos?

I have two ways of recording clips. Just consciously recording with OBS or putting Shadowplay on and saving every time something cool happens. I usually just boot up Blaze and jump into ranked to get some games in. With the Toxic montage it was a bit different since I now have a 4K monitor but 4K can hardly be recorded at 60fps and setting the output resolution in OBS to 1080p got me weird screen effects. So every time I went to record, I put the resolution of my monitor to 1080p in order to at least get that in good quality. Then I just cut all the good clips out of the recordings and mix ‘n’ match ‘em. What's usually the hardest decision is what music to use. There's been a couple of songs that I'd like to use, but they either don't fit over Blaze gameplay, don't fit my playstyle or were just the wrong length.

My two favourite Montages are definitely for Candyman and Nitro. Candyman took a long way to develop, because I just wanted to show off so much. It's one of the few montages where I actually asked higher skill players for games instead of jumping into ranked. Picking the song was really hard, I was only sure I wanted a Klaus Veen track, but OD V2 was too mainstream and most others were too short. So in the end I opted for two songs with a break in between the montage. Splitting the clips into two sets, each song one. With the second part containing what I considered the more hype bursts.

And for Nitro I actually had the montage pretty much done, but I wasn't too happy with it. Still planned to just upload it like that tho. However when I saw the Nitro voice actor interact with a community member in a way that could only be described as "incredibly wholesome", I was inspired to redo most, if not all, of the clips and do the best I could. For the first time actually going into training mode to lab some combos (mostly corpse juggles tbf) and eventually learning Flying Cuff™ too. Watching JawDrops Blazin' Combo video and taking a slice off the Nitro plays there. Which resulted in a montage I am very happy with.

youtube

What other games do you play?

It differs from time to time.

The only games I always come back to are retro games like SMW, CTR or something like Mario Kart 8D. Which I always enjoy playing at local tournaments and pretty successfully so even. People just can't handle it when someone plays with one hand.

Atm I also like playing TBoI Rebirth.

Will you come to Stunfest?

Probably not. Driving/Flying over to France is just very expensive. I would love to meet all my Baguettes (Lusked, Jawdrop, Aru and Lalou, who stated he can't make it due to exams, yes I know). But exams and the neer-ing end of my apprenticeship is leaving a lot of work to be done.

So it probably won't fit into my schedule. However never say no! Trips to Blaze events aren't uncommon for me.

Is there anything else you’d like to say to the community?

Play the game for fun, not for glory.

Stop rubbing yourself for an imaginary title that doesn't mean anything as there's not even any competition for it.

I can't stress enough how great Soda City Funk by Tim Legend is. Go listen to it right now.

And for my last words. Be more like Kota. And remember, We love Ramkat <3

#Jawbreakers #Lethal League Blaze #Player Profile #Hang Boy #Hang #Europe #Jaw Breakers #Lethal League #Team Reptile

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lilacopal · 6 years

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moonlight🌙

moonlight: in which lana and kai watch the eclipse of the blood moon with some friends, and both experience some butterflies in the moonlight while with some new people. AN: I’ve always done writing but I’ve never posted it anywhere so please take it easy on me lol. I hope you enjoy this will be one of many things I start to write

two best friends straight out of college still figuring out what to do next, where will you find them? los angeles obviously. it was lana’s dumb idea is what kai will tell you. which it was, she’d never been and everyone is going there so why not?

kai wasn’t sure about the crowds and all the traffic, but lana promised if it was too bad they’d go back to the chilly east coast. at the moment lana was driving the two of them to a friends house. they were in a cherry red car (don’t ask them what kind they won’t know) with the hood down and music blaring. they both had their hair blowing wildly looking like a bit from a movie.

“we’ll be at mali’s soon, are you excited for the blood moon?” lana asked kai happily.

“i am i’ve never watched something like this before so this’ll be fun” kai replied with a bright smile.

not too long after, they made it to mali’s house, lana had met her online she was a beautiful singer and they bonded over music, then lana told her all about kai, her best friend. and when they decided to go to LA she welcomed the two of them to her and her brothers place with open arms.

after parking they grabbed the small amount of suitcases they had attempting to hold all of them to avoid taking trips. both of them being lugging their stuff immediately regretting not taking trips.

“guys do you need help?” a voice asked laughing, it was mali coming out of her front door laughing at the two girls.

“yes please” lana yelled back then dropping all her stuff dramatically.

mali came over and helped her pick up her stuff.

“kai hun do you need help? calum come out here and help the girls with their stuff!” mali shouted.

from the front door came a tall boy who looked like he could be mali’s twin, he was wearing a snapback but you could see dyed blonde hair sticking out, also like his sisters. kai looked over at lana to see her making a look. her friend didn’t date much throughout college due to overstressing herself with work and dealing with breaking up with her high school boyfriend.

so kai seeing this glimmer in her best friends eyes was rare. it warmed her heart a bit, made her hopeful to see her happy again. kai herself wasn’t big on dating but she absolutely was not against the idea. who knows what LA could bring?

calum came over to her and took some of the bags out her arms.

“thanks, so much. i’m kai and over there is lana” she introduced herself.

“no problem and i’m cal. mali told me you guys were coming to watch the eclipse with us?” he asked as they made it into the house.

“yea we are, i’ve never seen an eclipse so i’m excited, lana is obsessed with space so this is right up her alley” kai remarked.

“hey stop making me look like a nerd we just got here!” lana hollered.

“i am not” kai yelped.

“no it's okay, that’s a cool thing to be into” calum laughed at their bickering.

“thanks” lana gushed with a grin. the short girl was already smitten, she started to feel flutters in her stomach and was feeling giddy.

mali lead them to her guest room that the two of them would share so they could unpack and settle in. soon their friends were arriving and then they’d watch the moon turn blood red. which kai was considering somewhat romantic and was wondering if lana was feeling the same.

“lana, my dearest friend i saw your look a little while ago” kai stated.

lana, who was laying on the bed look up from her phone looking a bit pink in the cheeks.

“what look? i don’t remember giving you any look” lana lied.

“yes you do, when calum came out you looked quite intrigued” she teased.

“so what if i did? he’s good looking, gorgeous like his sister” lana replied trying to seem unphased.

“it's been a long time bubs, if you’re looking for something it's okay to start now.” kai assured her.

lana took a deep sigh, “like you said it's been so long, maybe it's been so long for a reason?” she questioned aloud.

“or maybe you just haven’t found anyone and if calum might possibly be it, then you should find out. we aren’t going to be here forever” her friend pointed out.

“ugh i hate when you’re right” lana groaned putting her face into her hands. kai pulled her friend in for a comforting hug to help ease her for the anxieties of the nights possibilities.

after unpacking all their clothes and such and organizing their shared room, they went outside to help set up for the eclipse. it was nothing fancy some chairs around a fire, with a table covered with smores stuff and a telescope for looking at the moon.

it was pretty chilly outside for a night in LA, kai couldn’t help but roll her eyes at lana for wearing a tight white crop top, well at least she was wearing pants. the two of them we’re sitting next to each other by the warm fire, lana had her head leaning on her shoulder and was cuddled up to her.

“you’re so warm” lana looked up to her more as she snuggled up to her more.

kai giggled at her “well maybe if you wore clothes every once in a while you’d be warm to”

“hey i had to work my ass off to get this somewhat toned, stomach” she protested.

“you’re ridiculous, both of you are but mostly lana” mali chimed in from across from them.

the three girls just chuckled at each other for a moment. lana was very happy to be in LA, boston wasn’t feeling like home anymore. college was good but stressful, it drained her emotionally. also having a bad break up that you can’t move on from isn’t fun either. but she felt like this visit was another chance, a better start to adulthood. maybe she could move on from the past a bit.

speaking of moving on, calum came out with two other boys who looked about their age maybe a bit older.

“hey guys, this is roy and ashton” he said.

“hi, i’m lana and this is kai we’re friends of mali’s” she introduced them. she was kinda excited to start to meet more people, but obviously not as excited as kai.

kai had the look, that lana had on her face earlier. and god did she want to tease her about it but she was willing to sacrifice her entertainment to be a good friend.

both boys greeted them and she could immediately tell that her best friends eyes where on ashton, she’d give it to her he’s good looking. she knew her besties type and he was it, but it had more to do with his bright smile, kai melted at guys with good smiles. lana grinned with excitement at her friend, kai just gave her an eye roll.

the group made small talk about life and other things. both girls kept stuffing their face with smores and all kinds of junk food. everyone was fun and all got along well. it also helped that mali had a good playlist going. even if lana didn’t know the words she’d find a way to jam out to whatever song was on. she swayed her hips to the beat subconsciously nodding her head a bit, kai looked over to see calum watching her.

kai then glanced to her phone she was getting some likes from twitter on her online art. she pulled up the picture and sighed overly critiquing the work.

“sorry to snoop but that looks really good” she saw ashton, whom was sitting on the other side of her, looking at her phone.

“oh thank you and don’t worry that doesn’t really bug me” she blushed.

“okay cool. are you an artist?” he asked.

“well kind of? i majored in art in college, mainly to be a teacher for younger kids” she explained.

“that’s interesting, i don’t think i’ve met an artist. or kind of an artist” he laughed at himself.

she giggled with him, he had a really cute laugh. it made her feel fuzzy inside, like she had clouds in her brain. they continued some small talk, he talked about drumming and being in a band. how he has a younger brother and sister, and a lovely mother. kai talked about her two younger brother and her mom mostly, her dad only a bit. she also mentioned how lana loved her youngest brother who is 12, and he loved her a lot too. they had a funny relationship, there's videos of a teenage lana singing mariah carey to him in the car when he was in kindergarten. ash talked about all the videos of cal doing the goofiest things like carrying a microwave and wearing an afro in a live stream.

they both were so distracted, well at least kai was she almost forget why she was there in the first place. until she heard lana squeal and point at the sky frantically waving her arm up. calum went over to the telescope to adjust it so it was pointing directly at the moon and waved lana over. she went over and kai noticed that calum stayed behind her with his hand on her hip and she smiled.

everyone took turns looking up at the moon. kai had to admit it was quite beautiful, it was quite the beautiful night in a lot of aspects. she had a good feeling about LA something told her they’d be here for longer than planned. and maybe that wasn’t so bad.

kai and ash continued to talk for the rest of the night and exchanged pretty much all forms of contact. ash said he wanted to make sure he could reach her for emergencies, she laughed at this and obviously gave in to his ridiculousness. by the time he left it was early in the morning, when he did leave she walked him to his car and he kissed her cheek. a simple gesture that made her melt into goo on the inside.

but she wasn’t the only one currently melting, maybe it was the moon but blood red love was in the air. lana was in the backyard still with calum she was using the telescope pointing out her favorite constellations to him. she even showed him his aquarius constellation, it is aquarius season.

“that is orion's belt, another favorite, his greek hero story was my favorite” she was completely nerding out, no matter how hard she tried.

“you know so much about this stuff you’re like… a space babe” calum jokes. she was taken back in a good way her face was pink for the hundredth time that night.

“hey! what’s that supposed to mean?” she gasped waking him in the chest then turning away from him quick.

“no! i’m not try to make fun of you. you’re truly, something different, something special” he promised, turning her back to face him.

she opened her mouth to say something else, but was interrupted by her own shivering. maybe a short sleeve shirt wasn’t a good choice for the night. calum smirked at her and pulled off his green sweatshirt.

“arms up” he stated simply. she listened and did as he said he slipped in over her head, the it fell to her thighs. she giggled looking at her sweater paws.

“you’re lucky you’re cute i don’t usually give my sweatshirts to girls who choose clothes that’ll make them cold” he clarified.

“i’m glad then, that i’m not one of many girls that get calums hood sweatshirt for the night” she fake gasped.

“i promise i’m not like that” he replied somewhat defensively.

“i don’t think you are but some guys are. trust me i know” she smiled forcefully.

he put out his pinky “i pinky swear that i’m not like that” she grinned. locking her pinky with his. now to her this means she’ll just have to stay for a while to see if he keeps it. something tells her he will.

kai lays in the big bed in the guest room still feeling light as a feather, floating in the sky. she’s cuddled up with her cute pink bunny pillow, not too far from her wa lana’s matching blue koala one. she wasn’t sure when lana would come in the room but she wasn’t focused on that really. then she slowly began to fall asleep.

to then a few minutes later to be awoken by lana ripping her suitcase apart. she looked over at her friend who seemed to be changing.

“what in the world are you doing?” kai asked.

“shit” lana whispered “nothing”

“lana valentina what are you doing?” kai growled.

“i am just changing into something comfier” lana defended herself.

kai eyed her she was in athletic shorts and a sports bra her usual sleep clothes, she liked being naked. but she didn’t look like she was planning on staying.

“where are you going?” she asked again in a warning tone.

“to cuddle with you duh” lana lied. kai glared she knows a liar when she sees one.

“fine i am going to calum’s room to cuddle, strictly cuddle. no nasty i swear on my life, may god strike me down if i’m lying” she blurted.

“its okay i believe you i just don’t like when you lie. you can just be honest.” kai huffed.

“i’m sorry, i’m just a bit on edge i’m not sure how mali will feel about me getting with her brother. so i was trying to be sneaky.” she admitted.

“did you see how he was acting all night towards you? eyeing your dancing, being all touchy mali saw her and roy gave approving nods to him, many times. don’t worry” kai reassured her.

“thank you” lana pulled her into a tight hug and kissed her cheek. they exchanged good nights and lana tip toed out the door.

the two best friends loved LA. they arrived feeling empty but then became fulfilled with the small bit of hope they needed. adulthood was going to be exciting, refreshing and heartwarming. and all it took was for someone to make them feeling like they were always in the moonlight. ✨

#calum hood #5 seconds of summer #calum hood fanfic #5 second of summer fan fic #calum hood imagine #ashton irwin #ashton irwin imagines #michael clifford #luke hemmings #my shit #my writing

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lizardscuddling · 7 years

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MCC Live!

Earlier this month I had the awesome opportunity to fly to London to see my favorite band, MCC. It was their first show in nearly a decade, but you couldn’t tell. Both nights the atmosphere was charged with nervous and exciting energy—both the audience and the band were more than thrilled to be there. Here’s how it went down.

Saturday night I hung out at the bar for a few hours before the show. Fans began congregating by the door about an hour beforehand so we could get a good spot. Although the ticket lady almost didn’t let me in because my tickets apparently didn’t get added to the will-call list, I managed to make it to the 2nd row on stage right: directly in front of the microphone.

Quickly after the opener ended (True Moon, who was awesome and totally worth listening to), MCC ran out and helped to set up their gear. They were all nervous but super stoked to be out there, and as soon as Martin appeared to set up his gear pedals (idk anything about music lol) the entire audience flipped out and cheered for him. His response was to lovingly shush us; “It’s a fucking line check!”

The performance itself was amazing. After the sound check they disappeared and soon ran back out with beer in their hands and smiles on their faces. The audience had great energy; everyone was really excited to be there, and for the most part pretty engaged in the set. Martin made quite a few drunken quips throughout the show. At one point his microphone stopped working and he remarked, “I’m obviously not a singer, so we have to do a lot of things to make my voice sound good, and when tech breaks down that becomes a problem.” He introduced the band, and referred to Arvid as his “Kid brother, who hasn’t played drums since he was 6, and vowed never to pick it up again.” The job of being a frontman is obviously pretty new to him, but he took it up well.

The music itself blew my socks off. Fia Kempe from The Great Discord came out every few songs to lend her voice, and it sounded amazing. She and Martin were not afraid to get up on the barrier and play in front of the crowd, which was a real treat for us at the front. My favorite song was probably Demon King. When played live the band finishes the song with a powerful, uplifting solo. Attending a Midnight Screen was also dope, as was Sway. Honestly I can’t think of a single song that I didn’t think was amazing. The biggest surprise of the night was when MCC played “Sleepy Eye June.” Martin introduced it as “the only love song (he) ever wrote… which turned out kind of dark.” They recorded it on a three piece demo, he said, and the final version will be appearing on their next album, due “2027.” That was an amazing surprise to end the night on—they even kept the voice sample from “Excalibur!”

Shortly after the show I had to run outside to grab money for merch. By the time I came back the band was hanging out at the stage signing things for fans. I first went up to Fia, who was chillin’ and told her how much I appreciate her work. Soon after I made my way to Martin, where I overheard him ask a fan, “was my set too short? I was worried about that, but I was thinking ‘if it were me, I wouldn’t want to hear myself perform for very long. Just in and out.’” Another fan urged him to go to France, and he replied that they had plans to—but they’re secret, so he can’t disclose more than that. I later heard from another fan that MCC plans to tour more in Europe later this year and, hopefully eventually, North America. When it came time for me to get my stuff signed I Introduced myself and told him I was from Seattle. He said that was cool and he loves Seattle; he also really loves Oregon, because of the Goonies.

Eventually I made it outside and hung out with some fans. I found Niels standing at a doorway and joined in on the conversation. Someone asked him if he’s going to continue playing with In Flames, and he replied that he wasn’t sure. It can be fun playing on a huge stage, he remarked, but he prefers the vibes of smaller venues. He’d like to continue playing with MCC, if he can. I told him I really liked his music, his solo stuff too, and was super stoked to see him—especially, being from Seattle, I wasn’t sure if I would ever be able to. He told me he thought Seattle was awesome, and that when he came there with Dead Soul and Ghost their friend from the area drove them around the city and he fell in love. He’d like to return one day. I asked him to sign my poster, and he pointed to a random building in the design, remarked “that’s where I live,” drew an arrow to it, and signed it. At that point another fan asked him to sign his ticket, but he kept talking to me—he poked me with their ticket!—and told me to listen to listen to an American band he likes (sorry Niels I was too drunk I totally forgot who it was). He traveled from Sweden to London to see them when he was young, and asked the band manager if he could meet the singer. He was told no, but got tickets to see them in Sweden. The singer killed himself right after that show. I probably looked at him like “wtf?” and he assured me that he isn’t planning on killing himself. Good!

The vibes of the first night were really mellow. Martin hung out outside and smoked but the fans left him alone; a surprising show of respect.

~round 2~

Night two was even better! The band seemed way less nervous and more sober-- Martin even remarked to the audience, “you seem less drunk than last night. So are we.” Their sobriety was reflected in a much better sound overall. The audience, while less smashed, was still awesome. During a lull in the set a man with a thick Scottish accent remarked “Martin, I fucking love you man!” to which he replied, “I love you too!” Near the end of the set Martin’s announcement that they had one more song to play was met with an “aaaawwwwuuuuuhhhh.” He reminded everyone they’d be back. I yelled, “I’ll miss you!” and he said, “I’ll miss you too!!” It was really sweet and I literally died. At a certain point he invited fans to yell out where they were from. At the end he remarked, “you’re from all over the place! We’re from ten years ago.”

Niels was over the top all night. He started the show by standing on the barrier for a long ass time. After Dollhouse Decoration Niels wouldn’t stop playing the end notes, to which Martin remarked, “that’s Niels Nielsen for you everyone!” During the Sway solo he couldn’t get his pedal to work so he performed the entire thing on the ground, which was pretty cool. Martin kept looking over at him with a smile on his face; you could tell they’re real homies. At the end of the set when Martin was introducing Sleepy Eye June as a love song he wrote, Niels started to play the beginning of “Run To The Hills” by Iron Maiden, and Arvid helped out with the drums. Martin was like “wtf” but it was all in jest.

Soon after the set the band had to kick everyone out to close up shop. I waited around for a big and talked to some cool homies; eventually, the band all came out to talk to fans and sign stuff. Niels recognized me from the night before and asked how I was doing—I told him I was chillin, but it looks like he was going to have a fun night (he was holding a big bottle of wine and some water). Niels told me the water was just for looks, the wine is what he’s really there for. I vibe with that.

Arvid and Par were both really sweet. They genuinely tried to have conversation with all their fans. When I told Arvid I was from Seattle he remarked “Oh! You’re the person he told us about.” (which honestly holy shit that was really cool. Martin told him about a fan from Seattle??? Whaaat??) and wanted to know what it was like to live in my city. Apparently, Martin is always talking about how much he likes the Pacific Northwest and wants to visit. I told them the weed was great. They were really really nice and attentive, and I’m super stoked to see them in future shows.

When I walked up to Martin he was signing some ghost photos for some fans. He looked at an old picture of himself and remarked “Aaaahhh… that’s him, the infamous Omeega.” It was kind of sad watching him look through all these old photos of Ghost, but he seemed to enjoy it. He pointed out which shows he could remember, and his tone was nostalgic. A fan offered him some beer which he declined until the fan told him it was Polish beer; at that point his choice was to chug it. He tried his best to make quips in fans’ native languages to watch them laugh. He’s a pure bean.

When it was my turn I told him, “when I saw you last night I forgot to show you my tattoo!” and stuck my arm out for him. He replied “whoa, let me take a look at that,” and grabbed my arm. I can’t explain it any other way than he held my arm and felt my tattoo with his fingers for a bit. I kind of astral projected through the entire thing; it was surreal. He soon grabbed a sharpie and drew a smiley face into the eclipse. I’m glad he thought it was impressive! He signed my ticket and patch and gave me a hug. Martin’s a super chill dude and was really enamored by all the attention he was getting from fans.

Overall, starting this trip I didn’t know what to expect, but MCC blew me away. They’re all a great group of people and I really look forward to seeing where they go in the future.

#magna carta cartel #mcc #martinpersner #magnacartacartel #omegaghoul #omega #i want martin to kick my ass

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #465

“the old man then prepares to die regretfully / that old man here is me”

Did you have a boyfriend in kindergarten? No, but I had a guy who wouldn't leave me alone since pre-k. Did you ever read the Magic Treehouse series? OMG I forgot about those!! I loved them!!! Did you ever watch The Land Before Time movies? AHHHHHHHHH yes!!! :') Did you collect anything when you were a kid? Stickers. My dresser was COMPLETELY covered in them. Who did you look up to most as a child? Steve Irwin, 100%. He was my hero. Did your parents let you drink soda when you were little? Some, yes. I wish they hadn't, with the dependency I have now. Did you ever watch The Powerpuff Girls or Dexter’s Laboratory? Of course! I strongly preferred the former, though. Did you watch Blue's Clues? HOW TIMELY. :'''') I did! My little sister and I loved it. What was your favorite kind of cake as a kid? Just gimme a good 'ole double chocolate cake and I was one happy kiddo, ha ha. Did you ever want to grow up? Sure didn't. I was smart. How often do you listen to classic rock? It varies, really. Sometimes I'm in the mood for it and binge it, other times I want newer music. What about country? Just about never. What is the most amount of money you have ever lost? Not a whole lot. I'm very careful with money. Have you ever hurt yourself just to get attention? No. Whenever I did it in the past, it was always to relocate the pain I was experiencing, and because I felt like I deserved it. Last person to get on your nerves? I'd rather not give it the time of day. Are you in any pain right now? No. Last thing you ate? It was one of those chocolate chip Clif Thins things. I HATE every Clif product I've ever tried until these, so they're a good option if I really want something sweet that's actually decently healthy and doesn't taste like I'm eating pure fiber, like most of their products. Name three things apart from trust and loyalty that you need in a relationship. Open, honest communication, similar interests as well as morals, and pro-LGBTQ+, if I'm just naming three. How far away are you from the place that you were born? Like... not even ten minutes. Do you live near anybody who creeps you out? Nah. Then again though I know pretty much nobody in my neighborhood. Is there anywhere that you are too afraid to go to alone? Where? Hm. If for whatever strange reason I had to, I would absolutely not want to go into a men's restroom alone. Would you be upset if you had a child who decided to make “adult films?” Despite the fact I don't negatively judge porn stars if they are smart, cautious, an informed about what they do and how to stay safe... I think I'd be very, very scared if my child wanted that, especially if it was my daughter, because she can actually get pregnant. Yes, abortion's an option, but... still. I don't want her to have to be faced with that decision. I also would be terrified of my hypothetical son getting someone pregnant, especially because he's then not the one with say on what happens to that child. So ultimately, if I was ever in this situation, I feel like I'd need to be alone with my partner to just cry for a while and then talk with them and look at the situation factually and with regard for my child's happiness. What pizza topping would you never, ever, EVER eat? Sardines. /gag What annoys you most about your computer? The microphone is broken. Do you prefer to read blogs or watch vlogs? I'm not huge on either, but watch vlogs. Do you know anyone who doesn’t celebrate Christmas? No. Do you own a snowglobe? I wish I did, they cute. What was the last thing that upset you? It was more disappointing than upsetting, but I was nevertheless super bummed that my bf had to scoot us hanging out a day back today when I was v excited for it. What is something you are behind on? It sounds unbelievable, I know, but I am IMMENSELY behind with Meerkat Manor: Rise of the Dynasty. Like, I'm somewhere around four episodes in. It's so hard to explain: like, I want to watch it badly, but I don't want to set aside time to sit in front of the TV to actually do it? It makes very little sense. I'll catch up eventually, I just... haven't yet. Who DO you go to for advice when you need it? Mom, Sara, my therapist... Will you go caroling this year? God no. Never have, never will. Would you ever be friends with someone who was suicidal? Bro what the fuck, of course I would. Would you rather have a daughter or a son? Daughter. Did you get bullied more as a child, a teenager, or an adult? I'm very grateful that I was never truly bullied. If you’re female, would you feel uncomfortable having a male gynecologist? FUCK YES. Are you allergic to your favorite animal? I wouldn't know; I've never been near one. :( What’s your favorite country besides the USA? Lol what a presumptuous question. Probably Africa. Did you get senior pictures taken? No, even though I wanted them. :/ I don't remember why I didn't? How often do you like to have sex? I don't care. Whenever it feels right. Are you any good at math? OH MY GOD NO Do you like Dairy Queen? I fucking love Dairy Queen. Ever had their Oreo Cupfection? *chef's kiss* If you had to get advice from someone of the opposite sex, who would you go to? Girt. Or my psychiatrist. Really depends. Does talking about sex make you feel uncomfortable? GODDAMN RIGHT IT DOES. Few things make me MORE uncomfortable. Are you more scared of going to the doctors or dentists? Doctors. Dentists are ezpz for me. At the doctor, meanwhile, I'm scared of them finding something seriously wrong. Do you get along with your significant other’s friends? I've only met one, and that was YEEEEAAARRRRSSS ago. He was chill, though. Do you enjoy the sound of crickets at night and birds in the morning? omfg YES Do you enjoy board games? Not really. Do you need a haircut? I actually just got one the other day. It's shorter than I would've liked, but it's whatever. Hair grows back, and mine does fast. Do you feel bad when you kill bugs? Yes. They've got the same right to be here as we do. What’s the longest stretch of time you’ve spent completely alone? A week or two when my mom and sis went to the beach (I think?) for a dance competition. Have you ever been in a situation where you needed a lawyer? Yes, when I presented my disability case. Do you know anyone who has been evicted? My mom, sister, and me because we couldn't keep up with rent. What’s your favorite macaron flavor? Never tried one. How often do you have friends over to your house? The only "friend" that comes over to my house is my boyfriend. Have you ever done a flip on a trampoline? Front flips, yes; never back flips, because I was scared of breaking my neck. What about a flip off of a diving board? No. Does your country have free healthcare? No, but it fucking should. What is your sexuality? Bro I don't even know anymore lmao. I just say pansexual. "Queer" might fit me best, though. I really don't know, but it doesn't really matter. What’s the last show you watched? Attack on Titan w/ Girt! I'm actually keen to see more of it. The darkness and heartbreak of it is right up my alley. How is your road rage? I don't really experience road rage because I'm too engulfed by terror to focus on anything else, honestly. Do you have any facial piercings? Yeah; I have a vertical labret in my lip. Have you ever been to a rehab center? So this is dumb as shit, but all the psych hospitals I've been to doubled as rehab centers. Which made NO goddamn sense because those who are suffering with mental illnesses leading to suicidal thoughts/tendencies are unique from those dealing with addiction; both require individual treatments and should not be grouped, imo. How long did your shortest relationship last? Not even a day. What would your life be like if you had married your first love? That's... scary to imagine. Sometimes, that was all I wanted. But seeing as he left because of my depression... it probably would have been catastrophic. He was the only person I ever wanted kids with, so there probably would have been children involved in all that madness, which no little one deserves. Him leaving ultimately led to my healing, too, so I don't know where I would've been mental health-wise if he stayed. What is the most difficult or time-consuming thing you’ve ever cooked? Would you make it again? I don’t cook. I need to learn, though... Have you ever had a platonic friend that everyone insisted you should be in a relationship with? He's my boyfriend now, ha ha ha. Is there anything about a person’s sexual past that might stop you from wanting to date them? Yes. I'm too lazy to get into that stuff rn, though. If someone asked your closest friends/family members what career path might suit you best, what do you think they would say? I'm almost certain they would all say veterinarian. How did you and your significant other celebrate your last anniversary? Slow down buddy, we haven't even been together a month lmao. Who was the last person to make you a home-cooked meal? What did they make? Mom, but I don't recall the last thing she made from scratch. Girt is doing that tomorrow, though! :') He's making grilled chicken stuffed with jalapenos and spinach and something else I can't remember and it sounds BANGIN'. What’s the weirdest, rudest, or most ridiculous thing a guest has ever done in your home? Hmmm... I'll have to get back to ya on that. Has anyone ever told you you’re manipulative? I think someone has, yes. Do you know anyone who owns their own business? Yep. Who was the recipient of your very first kiss? Jason. Do you prefer shrimp or crab? SHRIMP. Crab is mushy and disgusting. Do you prefer fiction or non-fiction books/movies? I strongly prefer fiction. Have you ever seen an eclipse? Plenty of lunar eclipses, yes. Who is your favourite video game character? Pyramid Head, Spyro, Cynder... I have a lot, those three are just panning out as strong contenders. Are you the type of person who knows exactly what they want in life? lol Do you have commitment issues? Not at all. What was the last thing you felt nostalgic about? uhhh Does anyone in your family smoke? My dad. Have you ever had a pet escape and run away? OMG one time in his prime, Teddy got loose on a snowy night and went on a full-blown adventure. I was SOBBING. My dad had to chase him down. Do any of your exes know each other? Juan knows Jason, Jason knows Juan and Girt, and Sara knows Girt. What’s an opinion you find impossible to take seriously? "Vaccines cause autism." Fuck out my face. What was the very first election you voted in? This most recent presidential one.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''the unforgiven'' by metallica

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