#i also hope they learn how to TAG THEIR FUCKING STUPID SHIT

[vampireassistant]

i hope all scarecrow x riddler fans get blown up forever and ever amen

[ranhaitanisgf]

Hi 👋. Can I have “enemies to lover” and “stuck together” head canons with Ran. They get handcuffed together by their friends. And are forced to spend the day together. And they both realize they aren’t as bad as they thought. Since they were only ‘enemies’ due to some misunderstandings. Maybe reader has to go through her schedule and Ran just in a forced to tag along. So they go grocery shopping, he sees her taking care of siblings, etc. Ran teases her a lot as well. Thanks!

— ran haitani // enemies to lovers // stuck together

[𖤐] haii i once again just cranked this out w/o thinkin abt it sawr. idk !! i am so tired rn i cant even tell if this is good but wtv lmk if its good or not lol. i hope you all enjoy xoxo !

wc ; 1.8k+

masterlist || 2k masterlist

❥ when you felt something cold and metal click on your wrist as you were getting ready to leave school, you were certainly not expecting to come face to face with ran haitani, and you were especially not expecting for the thing around your wrist to be a pair of handcuffs, the other end being attached to his own wrist. when you glanced at the people next to him, you could only sigh, seeing his brother and your best friend grinning devilishly, (you swore you’d only seen that look on rindou’s face when he was beating someone up, which seemed unlucky for you somehow). 

“can you guys stop fucking around and take these off? i have things to do.”  “heyyy, that’s so mean to me, (y/n)! i’ll come by your place and take them off at the end of the day, but for now they’re staying on! you’ll thank me later!”  “what?! get back here-! ugh, already gone…” 

❥ you stood there for a few moments, wondering if you should just drag ran along with you and chase after the pair until they let the two of you go. you’re not really concerned about whatever is on ran’s schedule for the day, but you’re more worried about how you have to get all of my responsibilities done. you have to go to the grocery store, pick up tonight’s dinner, cook dinner, help with your sibling’s homework, do your own homework, and one of them ask for you to bake something for their school? that was also going to take time, but maybe-

“hellooo, earth to (y/n)? you there?”  “yeah, i was just thinking. you heard of it?” “guys would probably like you more if you were cute instead of so aggressive, y’know~”  “do you ever shut up about stupid shit for more than two seconds? you know what, don’t even answer that. i have stuff to do that’s more important than your stuff, so let’s go.” 

❥ on the walk to the grocery store, you heard quite a number of complaints from ran about how ‘he’s a busy guy’ and ‘i’ve got stuff to take care of too!’, but frankly, you just dragged him along anyways. you knew that if there was anything seriously important on his schedule that he would probably be more serious, but given the teasing tone of his voice, you completely ignored him. 

❥ walking through the aisles of the grocery store was a bit of a challenge given the special circumstances, especially with the fact that ran was like some kind of child, popping random snacks into the cart when you weren’t looking. it didn’t help that the two of you received some very strange looks, people whispering about god knows what as you walked by, (you could never come back here). 

“what’s with all this stuff you’re getting anyways?”  “for my siblings.”  “you have siblings? how many?” “three younger; two brothers and a sister.” 

❥ there wasn’t a whole lot of serious talking during the shopping trip aside from that, but you noticed that ran seemed very pensive when he learned that information. you probably would have thought about his sudden seriousness a bit more if you weren’t very eager to get out of this store, (though you had to admit, he was somewhat cute when he was serious). 

❥ the walk to your home proved to be just a tad bit awkward; there wasn’t a whole lot of words exchanged between the two of you. you weren’t sure what you were even supposed to say given the situation, so you just decided to stay quiet, which is what ran had seemingly also decided. at least, until he suddenly spoke up. 

“do you do this everyday?”  “hm? yeah, on days when i’m not working.” “working? isn’t there some school rule that you can’t have a job?”  “yeah, that’s why i work in yokohama.” “yokohama?!”  “yep.”

❥ for the next few minutes there was no other words spoken, but he grabbed some of the grocery bags out of your hands, carrying a couple more bags than you were. 

❥ this was one of the only times you had ever seen him this serious, and it was throwing you a bit off. he was usually the stark opposite of serious, so to see this new side to him made you wonder what he could be hiding. just a moment after you turned the idea over in your head, the teasing tone was back in ran’s voice. 

“so, you’re finally able to be seen with me in public, hm~ how does it feel?”  “what’re you talking about?”  “just so you know, it isn’t cute to play dumb, sweetcheeks.”  “um, seriously, what are you talking about?” 

❥ you’re still unsure of how to feel about the words exchanged between the two of you during the rest of the walk; honestly, you had always disliked him because of the way that he disregarded the fact that he was quite privileged to be able to attend school and therefore almost never attended, but you’d never hated him for something small like that. and sure, maybe you thought it was stupid that he was always beating people up, but to be honest, it wasn’t exactly any of your business in the first place, so why would you care? 

❥ he revealed to you in short time that he had been informed that you were embarrassed to be seen with him at all, which was why he disliked you, (you never recalled even thinking such a thing, so you were really questioning the source of his information). 

❥ he’d even acknowledged the points you’d told him about school, ran even mentioning that he was trying to catch up on his studies so that he could maybe still graduate with the rest of the grade, (the amount of work he had missed was incomparable to any other student aside from rindou). 

❥ you felt a little bit relieved when the two of you arrived at your house, entirely because you didn’t want to think too much about ran haitani right now. you have other priorities, and thinking about ran haitani can wait until later. 

❥ when you opened the door and slid your shoes off, you could hear the pitter-patter of little footsteps running to the front door. your siblings all ran for you, wrapping themselves around your legs and hugging your side as they all talked at once. 

“i missed you so much!”  “school today was so boring, and at lunch-” “what’s for dinnerrrrr, i’m sooooo hungry!” 

❥ despite all of the overlapping of the sentences, you still responded to each one of your siblings with patience and kindness, making ran’s heart skip a few beats, (he’s ignoring why). 

❥ when your siblings asked about the boy next to you, you just said that he was ‘some guy from school’, but the teasing wink you sent his way did something to him. he had only ever seen the side of you that was always slightly annoyed with him, so this was truly the first time he had ever seen you even somewhat outside of this norm. 

❥ he thought it was pretty nice :)

❥ he helped you set all the groceries on the counter, even taking them out of the bags and handing the cold items to you as you put them in refrigerator. the sudden change in the relationship between the two of you did feel a little bit weird, but it was somehow in the best way possible. as you cooked dinner, the playful banter between the two of you as he watched you cook and helped with prepping ingredients was honestly refreshing, which was something you never thought you would think about ran haitani. 

“hmm, i bet i can shop a carrot faster than you~”  “oh really? you realize i’ve been chopping carrots for a long time?”  “you’re not the only one who cooks dinner around here, doll.”  “okay then, you’re on!” 

❥ maybe it was the fact that you were both older sibling’s, but you somehow felt like he was so understanding of the situation. despite the fact that the both of you were forced to be together after school, here he was, helping you cook dinner for your family and not trying to pull apart the handcuffs, (you had to admit though, it was a challenge to cook with only one hand). 

❥ you also had to admit that seeing ran interact with your younger siblings during dinner completely warmed your heart; his charm was turned up all the way, but with the best intentions possible. he was indulging in all the random talk about their current interests and hobbies, and he even offered to teach one of your younger brothers how to skateboard!

❥ after dinner, you helped out with any homework you could while you did your own homework, telling ran off at the fact that he didn’t collect the homework assignments that he had missed in the past couple of weeks, (he took a couple looks at your paper and what you were working on, then immediately shook his head and said, ‘next time, maybe…’). 

❥ after your siblings were asleep, the two of you even had a blast baking the brownies for your younger sister’s school event! at one point, he threw a handful of flour at you, leaving you covered in the white powder. you both stood there shocked, ran looking at you with a shocked look on his face as if he wasn’t expecting that outcome at all. 

❥ and so went to get your revenge. 

❥ your hand dipped into the container of flour throwing it right back at him, even going so far as to rub it all over his scalp so that his dark roots were now white. you were a bit unnerved by how good he looked when he was laughing, and how melodious his voice was, especially when he was calling your name- stop! what are you even thinking right now?!

❥ the fight eventually died down when the amount of space between the two of you was suddenly very small, both of you slowing down your actions and stopping, looking at each other, (was there some kind of drug in his gaze? why can’t you look away?)

“y’see somethin’ you like?” “w-what?! no! i mean, i was just, i wasn’t even-” “relax, relax, i’m just teasing. you should’ve seen your face though; it was pretty cute~”

❥ and with that, he just continued on with baking the brownies, acting as if what he just said was completely normal. somehow, this technique worked on you, since you also just pretended like nothing happened, though you didn’t step away when you realized the two of you were standing arm to arm at the counter. 

❥ even though you were pretending that nothing had happened, you couldn’t deny the butterflies you felt in your stomach, courtesy of ran haitani of all people, (if somebody had told you this morning what would happen, you would have called them a bumbling liar). 

❥ maybe being temporarily attached to him wasn’t so bad…

[lexithwrites]

sorry for the long read but this is important (aka lets talk about plagiarism)

hello! so, if anyone remembers the other day i posted a lil snippet for a smutshot involving remus/sirius/james. originally, someone got very upset about the lack of tags and accused me of writing SA—it was not SA, it was teasing someone and edging them, but i digress. people misread things all the time and thats whatever—and they privately messaged me accusing the same thing and saying i needed to tag better as i had triggered them. i deleted the post not wanting to upset anyone else, apologised for upsetting them then whilst trying to explain my work and explain how it wasnt SA, they blocked me. that's fair and i moved on learning my lesson as i clearly did something wrong.

what isn't fair, is rewriting said work for yourself and posting it on YOUR ao3 account.

i was sent the story and commented:

you deleted this post almost immediately and proceeded to say it isn't plagiarism. this is the definition of plagiarism btw:

that's what you did. it's the exact same scenario, it's a threesome, and the dialogue is VERY similar. the premise for the scene is the same. I've got some screenshots of both works below to highlight this:

MINE:

THEIRS:

now this isn't word for word, obviously, and theirs is a longer one shot with other plot points involved, but these scenes are similar. the dialogue in particular is similar. its a slap in the face honestly; to be given shit by someone and then see that they decided to use it for themselves.

there is always consent in my work, i've never had anyone say before that this is an issue as my finished works have discussions of safe words and safe sex and boundaries. pretty much everything i've ever written that involves sex has a conversation regarding safe words. i clearly tagged it wrong and i will admit that. i will take the blame for that and tag accordingly from now on.

but you used my work for your own. and also (since you added this to the ao3 post i'll include it) you admitted to using my work:

'inspired by some drama'

YOU REWROTE WHAT I MADE. YOU USED SIMILAR DIALOGUE. THE SAME SETTING. YOU JUST MADE IT YOUR OWN AND ARE ACTING LIKE THAT ISN'T PLAGIARISM??

like—

just because you didn't think i would 'appreciate' being mentioned does not mean you do it?? you literally admitted to 'tweaking' it and writing it yourself. this is such stupid fucking drama and so unnecessary what did you want to gain from this??

do not use other peoples fucking work. SIMPLE.

also i shouldnt have to say this but dont give this person shit. dont send hate in my name, its not worth it and not the point of this post whatsoever .im not naming them, they know who they are even if they've blocked me. i dont care if you see this, honestly i hope you see it. just please take plagiarism seriously because its annoying af and weird

ANYWAY have a lovely day <3

[dmsr-art]

I wish I had one of those "this is a work of fiction" disclaimers from old video games to use as an emoji reaction on people who are like "oh no how dare you like cnc and incest and power dynamics you must approve of those things happening in real life if you enjoy reading them!" like hi. shut up. people in real life hey man how's it going style. I like the fake shit and if me and my wife write out roleplays where our characters are sicknasty daddy daughter kissing. that's Our Business as Grown Adults who have Common Sense.

like yeah fiction can hurt you it can be used to indoctrinate you and make you believe that some things are normal and okay when they're not. that happened to me when I was a kid! I know how bad and sad it gets!

but also. fiction can give you the tools to recognize when things that are happening to you are Not Okay. you can point to a book where someone gets attacked and say "this happened to me" and you can get to a safer point with the communication opportunities that fiction can provide you. gothic fiction was meant to be a cautionary tale. yeah it's hot taboo shit is hot but it serves as an example of "this is a bad thing to do to people in real life."

also like nobody else is reading me and my wife's freakshit but us so shut the fuck up and tag your shit appropriately. if people don't wanna see it then that way they won't see it! and people who Do wanna See can find it easier!! ya know??

anyway hi thanks for listening I hope you wake up feeling the perfect amount of rested and that the shower stays the exact temperature you want it to stay at for the whole time you're in there. have a lovely rest of your week

CO-SIGNED.... BECAUSE THAT WAS SOME REAL SHIT YOU JUST SAID!!!

they are larping 90s "violent video games make u violent irl" rhetoric but with sexual kinks now. and they are too stupid or not self aware enough to realize it. it's always "so u support incest???" but never "so u support murder???" they fully understand that u can watch and enjoy violent horror movies and not want to recreate what u saw but lose their god damn minds when two trans gfs on twitter call each sister and accuse them of wanting to fuck their actual real life relatives.

i know most of these ppl are just young and dumb. i HOPE they'll grow out of it and learn to mind their business. it's still very jarring to me bc when i was a teen on the wild wild west internet NO ONE was like that!! i was out there exploring sexual taboos via fiction and it was chill af. ppl were minding their own business not throwing wild accusations around... don't like don't read was the norm!! OUR MOMS READ FLOWERS IN THE ATTIC... LIKE COME ON.... this shouldn't be an issue 😭😭😭

[chin hands] anon i am happy to listen, thank u :3

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Chapter 7

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

A new day a new chapter! Today we get into the Water Prison. The real question: will Shen Qingqiu actually make it out?

No Charlie pics today, I have been abandoned at my reading/writing station, but I do have tea! Tea today is a blueberry jasmine.

Let's get into it!!!!

What the fuck?! Is this an acid lake? p89

Dang it really is crazy how after two accusations with zero evidence or proof that Shen Qingqiu actually did anything, he get's locked up in maximum security prison. p89

Right now I'm having war flashbacks from MDZS -> another protagonist out here doing their best with the rest of the world just making shit up about them for fun. RE: Little Palace mistress and her delusions of what SQQ did. She literally even says- he didnt say you did anything but I have a vibe. Like what? p91

We are gathered here today to all witness how Shen Qingqiu is once again refusing to acknowledge that he is indeed the Love Interest. Honestly, does anyone ever tell him? I live for the day the system changes his classification from villain to Love interest and actually tells him this. Idk if it happens, but now I need it to happen. Re: "what fit even less was the fact, in the original work, the Little Palace Mistress's refined iron whip had only been used for attacking love rivals" p93

Luo Binghe to the rescue!! p94 just catching that whip

Okay but when SQQ states that something is wrong with the script- is he actually on the path to understanding? or still clueless? I hope he sort of realizes what's happening, because dang this guy has 0 idea Luo Binghe would kill for him p95

OOP. "There is no need for Shizun to be so wary. If I wished to do something to you, I wouldn't need to touch you at all" p96

Re: point above about "is he understanding?" *deep sigh * SQQ has not learned at all and refuses to actively listen. He is still trying to follow the old script p.97. Okay but I do love how this guy is accidentally getting himself (in a weird way) romanced.

I honestly am pretty sure this is a dating sim XD "*to the system* Do you think we're playing a dating sim?!" p99

omg torture via demon blood is horrible. Like this is a worst nightmare, having little bugs in your organs NO THANKS. p101

I'm crying LOOOOOL two options; 1. the fake jade guanyin. 2. [Activate Small Scene Pusher] and gets his CLOTHES ripped off. Bro is now the lead in a period bodice ripper XD p102

*face palm* "Does it just take advantage of Luo Binghe's physiological disgust upon seeing a man's half-naked body?" p104. no my man, it is not disgust

oh no, giving him his outer robe made it more scandalous p104

RIP confirmed that that is the previous canon's sex robe p106

literally everyone has a feeling about what's up. Gongyi Xiao is eyeing SQQ, see's the robe and does indeed assume things about SQQ and Luo Binghe. How stupid is SQQ??? p107

Re: the note from Shang Qinghua to SQQ. Shang Qinghua is also an idiot, this guy had 1 job and that was to not fuck up the mushrooms. he goofed this exponentially. RIP those mushrooms. p109

Welp. Gongyi Xiao is realizing that Luo BInghe may not be as pure of heart as he thought p112

it's so much worse though- he really thinks that Luo Binghe assaulted SQQ and is now helping SQQ escape. p113

meanwhile SQQ is living in his own universe LOL no idea these are the assumptions. Also, IDK what's going to happen when Luo Binghe inevitably see's SQQ in Gongyi Xiao's robe. RIP GYX p115

Okay but SQQ I too would freak the fuck out if I had a walking/wake dream. Meng Mo's realm is no joke. p120-121

Dang Luo Binghe has become so strong. This dreamscape is insane. pp 124-126

again with the clothes ripping. I hope one day they enjoy this consensually. p127 (blessed be this canon for the fanfics)

in which SQQ does not realize that the fight in the dreamscape is indeed not a fight- it is most definitely foreplay. p128

I fucking KNEW IT Luo Binghe was NOT pleased with SQQ wearing Gongyi Xiao's robe. LOOOL. p130

but also I don't know what became of GYX but let's take a moment to remember him, I am sure he did not make it.

oh gosh more tragic SQQ backstory :( p132

I am glad I clocked it in the last chapter. Something was so fishy about the family that took him in and his "betrothal" my heart for SQQ :( :( :( p134

Okay get it Ning YinYing!!!! Re: her talking shit to and about Little Palace Mistress to her face! p138

yes she got slapped but still she did a pretty good job! and her sect siblings have her back.

That is it for today!!

Oh god. ofc we leave on a cliffhanger with a shady guy ready to super saiyan AND the next chapter is ominously titled "Death". I am not prepared for this!

[sabbathbloodysabbeth]

I’m going to toss my hand in and try something new let me know if it makes sense. Also, I wasn’t sure what to tag so I tagged a little bit of everything lol.

Gareth was on book return duty. Taking a book from the over-growing pile of books, opening the back to check when it was taken out. Before going to the persons name and stamping that they returned the book.

Moving his ringed fingers up he swooped his hair off to the side a bit. Not sure if he enjoyed the middle part yet, deciding to give up on the product and just let it fall loosely down the sides of his face.

Moving he picks up the hobbit next. Tapping his fingers to the rhythm of a Black Sabbath song. While Eddie seemed to be going through a hard core Metallica phase Gareth was enjoying the stonerish vibes of early Black Sabbath. While he preferred Ozzy, Eddie enjoyed Dio more. If the Dio shirt sewn on the back his vest said anything.

Flipping the book over, a piece of paper falls out of the book. Groaning Gareth rolls his eyes as he moves bending down and picking up the face down page that had landed itself on the carpet. Kids really needed to fucking learn how to remember to pull shit out of their books before returning them because Gareth was not going to go on a witch hunt to return shit.

Glancing down he raises a eyebrow feeling rather impressed with the drawing in front of him. Looking around he was curious to see if who ever returned this book would still be here. He moves rolling back to the desk quickly as he checks who had the book last.

Will Byers.

The kid must have forgotten to pull it out, using it as a book mark. It was a pretty sick drawing of a boy. Who after a moment or staring Gareth recognizes as Mike. He snaps his fingers as he spins in a celebratory circle of knowing who it was. It was a very detailed piece of work, a little sad as he looks closer. Noticing scratch marks from where the pencil dug into the page a little to much, leaving not only scratches but little idents as well.

He carefully folds it back up, hoping that it wasn’t to weird to be carrying around a fellow hellfire club members portrait. Gareth had heard Will also played but it seemed like he was avoiding the club.

Who knows and who fucking cares.

Gareth decides to make an acception just this once. It would be a pity if this drawing was thrown away. So he uses his library access to look up the kids locker number. Abusing his powers if you will, as the stupid thing makes a soft beeping noise as it loads up. Rolling his eyes he slams the side of the computer a little before groaning loudly when he realizes he’s only made it go much slower.

Huffing to himself he begins to work on returning the other books. Forgetting about the whole thing until he went to shut the computer off. Quickly scribbling the number down and sliding that along with the drawing as he gets ready to leave. Picking up his flannel vest and sliding it over his shoulders as he picks his bag up and starts to leave. On a mission to get this drawing slid into the locker. But his plans are forgotten as Eddie stumbles in a run, nearly knocking him over in the process.

“What the fuck Eddie!” He sounds annoyed, glaring his best resting bitch face at the other who simply grins. Softening Gareth’s reaction just a smidge as he shakes his head trying to stay annoyed with the other as he begins to close the library doors. School had been let out almost a hour ago, so why was Eddie still in the school.

“I need your help, I have this friend right. And I’m trying to get him to read the hobbit. And well he has this problem. Where he can’t see the tiny words … and read at all because the words move. I heard there were talking books. Hypothetically where would I get one of those Gare bear.” His ringed hands are clamped shut, in a sign of pleading. He’s pretty sure the guy was going to drop to his knees and start begging for his help.

Gareth rolls his eyes as he pops the library key in his pocket. Forgetting about the two papers inside as he raises a eyebrow. “You mean audiobooks?” His tone is a smidge patronizing but that was just Gareths lack of self awareness when it comes to tone.

“Yes that!” Eddie snaps his finger as he moves to wrap his arm around Gareths shoulder, slowly beginning to move him around a bit. Ignoring the uncomfortable look the other has just for a second before quickly pulling back when he realizes his mistake. “Sorry Gary, wasn’t thinking.”

“Kind of hard to do that with no brain.” Gareth says in a slightly dull tone. He was exhausted and ready to go home. Curl up in a ball and watch Voltron or something that was really easy to digest because there was no working brain cell in his head right now. Something that was very typical of him after reading so many names in one sitting.

“Oh you pain me Care Bear. You pain me so.” Eddie dramatically tosses his head back before he straightens up a bit more serious. “Though where would I find these ‘audiobooks’?” He puts quotations around the name as he does a side shuffle down the hall so he could keep looking at Gareth.

“Hawkins free library, should be a small pile. If they don’t have the hobbit then you’re going to have to read it to this person.” Gareth says, grin pulling its way to his face as he watches Eddie grow flustered.

“No can’t do that, um- okay! Thank you Sir Gare’alot, you’re character shall have many rewards if this pans out.” Eddie salutes before he’s stumbling backwards and sprinting down the halls before a teacher caught him.

Gareth rolls his eyes as he leaves the school, forgetting all about the drawing until it fell out on his bedroom floor. Pinching his eyebrows together he groans as he realizes that he was going to have to return it first thing in the morning or else it was never going to be returned.

Which he does as he fiddles with his drumsticks in one hand and carry’s the folded paper with the other. Grumbling under his breath as he realizes the boy was currently at his locker. Silently pulling books from the top shelf as he gets ready for first class. Gareth should be to but this was something he had to do, his brain was refusing to let him back out.

Sliding up against the lockers he tries to muster his best Eddie impression but instead he ends up seemingly more bitchy then before. “Think you forgot this in your library return.” He says tilting his head a little as he holds the paper out between his two fingers. Watching the shy boys eyes grow wide, face blooming red as he snatches it quickly and hides it in his locker. Hands shaking and he looks like he’s about to piss himself.

Gareth realizes now that this situation could be misread, he really should start to look out for every outcome possible as he groans. Pulling his flannel out like a drug dealer with a trench-coat. Revealing the little rainbow pin that hides itself on his belt loop. Wills shoulders relax a bit as Gareth moves awkwardly patting his back.

“It’s cool man, but Mike fucking Wheeler?” He teases with a amused smile. “Way more sheep in the sea or whatever,” he grumbles a little with a soft flush to his cheeks as he stumbles over his words with the way the other looks at him.

“Freak!” A fit of laughter is heard right before Gareth is slammed into the locker. Groaning as he glared at the guy who did it. Moving to throw his drum stick at the back of the assholes head before Will stops him. Hand barley wrapped around his wrist to stop him.

“Not worth it man, only going to get your stick broken.” Will says gently as he lets go of his hand before stepping back a little closing his locker door. Gareth felt so embarrassed, heart racing as he wished he could meet someone new without some asshole ruining it for him.

“So, freak huh?” Will asks gently with a soft smile. “I don’t know if you’ve heard but I’m Zombie boy.” He awkwardly holds his hand out for the other to shake.

Gareth furrows his eyebrows before he decides the other wasn’t picking on him. Wrapping his hand around the other in a shake as he grins gently. “Sounds like we are from some marvel comic, freak and zombie boy.” He jokes. Watching the way the others eyes bright up with excitement.

The damn breaking as they both start to talk about everything and anything they can within ten minutes. Info dumping as much as possible.

So I set this up to where that it could be purely platonic greatwise with byler in the background or romantic greatwise with one sided byler. It’s up to interpretation (: for that, I just wanted Will to make a friend.

[mediumtires]

i know people are going to come for toto after what he said in the presser and i understand because it was ridiculous hypocritical embarrassing etc etc however i am not here to dive into that, personally i want to know what’s going on with him. brazil was bad yes we’ve all seen and talked about it at length and we’ve heard the “we’re going to learn from it” bs now tell me what’s really going on. he has been ad21 angry these past few weeks otherwise he wouldn’t have lost it in the presser. he’s very much of the fraction “hide it until it gets absolutely impossible to hold in anymore and then make it absolutely everyone’s problem” and even though i think that’s stupid and maybe he should call his therapist, i am convinced there’s something else going on in the background. either he’s decided to step down if the team doesn’t get it together by the end of the year and now he’s realised that actually, the team has not got it together by the end of the year and oh shit he might actually have to leave now because he’s a man of his word and he has to come through now, OR mercedes decided they need a change in leadership. however. in a very real sense he owns a third of that team and i am not sure they would make him leave when he was involved in 8 titles. also. from a pr and marketing angle. and we know merc are big on their pr. would they really want to make the very well known team boss leave after two arguably not so great seasons in which merc still came 3rd (2nd) in the constructors? a team that is so outspoken about team spirit and integrity? that builds 75% of their brand around this? hm. not sure. anyway there’s a third option which is also not great which is they have no car for next year either and they were kind of gambling on fixing this year’s car and look how that worked out. austin was a light at the end of a very dark tunnel and everyone’s hopes were so high after that race and then came brazil and the w14 showed them who’s boss (not merc). also not a great option.

anyway my point is he’s so bad at handling big feelings, he’s so embarrassed to suck and he gets so angry about being embarrassed and then he lashes out and while i think it’s silly to be 50 and still have anger issues i also think it is very compelling. because in comparison christian clamps up and gets so snappy and annoyed when he’s mad but he still stays in control while toto keeps everything inside for as long as he can until he kind of just. snaps and everything slips away from him and then he can’t help but literally let everyone see him at his most vulnerable and make it so much worse for himself.

anyway. that’s my rambles done for today. what i don’t want to see is “time to kill yourself toto” tags or posts or whatever the fuck because frankly what is fucking wrong with you. you’re evil and disgusting and everyone will get fucking blocked. just because you don’t like him doesn’t mean you get to say shit like that

[existslikepristin]

Been holding on to this one in a finished/unedited state for a few months now because I wasn't too happy with it. @worldsover did some editing for me. It still feels like something's missing (I'm not going to try to make Levi literally rewrite the whole thing), so feel free to give me critiques and suggestions, even if it's "yeah, I see what you mean and it is a little odd". I don't want to avoid posting it for forever, so let's call it a learning experience.

Regardless, I hope you enjoy! This is my first explicitly stated female reader insert, so that's yet another fun step.

(Also, I know I promised that the next story would be "normal" but you know what? Anything is normal compared to my last fic, so the only critique I will not be accepting is "Waaah, this isn't 'normal!'")

Tags: NSFW, TheLounge, Red Velvet, Irene, Female reader insert, anal, rimming, not a single line of dialogue, canonical silence, ass worship, massage oils, hand holding, yeah you’re deeefinitely the dominant one here

Open and Shut Up

~~~~~

No talking.

You can get behind that. That’s totally sexy. What’s less sexy… is a flowchart.

Obviously, you printed it out. Irene is going to be paying you for thi—It’s not payment, you remind yourself. It’s a mutual favor between acquaintances which may or may not involve money or goods/services which require it.

You scowl retroactively at Yeri’s so-called humorous insistence that you are, effectively, a prostitute. Performing sex acts in exchange, one time, for smoked salmon bagels is most definitely not prostitution, as you have reminded her many times.

Trying very hard to put that train of thought behind you, you glance around at the room. Low light, vanilla lavender sandalwood candles, obscenely soft towels, lube options, massage oils, and the stupid fucking laminated flowchart. You sigh—

NO! You don’t sigh, actually! Because the no talking rule was emphasized in great detail during negotiations, and included moans, groans, hums, whispers, grunts, and unnecessarily heavy breathing. And since a sigh is a heavy breath, you fucking hold that shit in tight!

But why do you need to hold in your sighs? Well, because of the final feature of the room that wasn’t mentioned two paragraphs ago: Irene, lying entirely nude on her stomach, on a bed of silk sheets, implying that your job—NOT your job, excuse you—has already begun. You entered the room mere seconds ago, so this should be extremely obvious to you, but you had to take care of a bit of exposition before you could really admire her body or get into the action. Perhaps you should do one of those two things now.

You can hardly believe what you’re seeing. Her slim legs and waist, the expanse of her back easily defeating the silkiness of the sheets she’s on, her elegant neck, her luxurious pitch black hair twirled into a loose bun, and the mild plumpness of her ass, peeking out from above the creases where her thighs meet it. Now, you’ve seen plenty of naked idols, but it’s the prestige that comes with this idol in particular that may have you so excited. Or it’s what she wants you to do to her. It’s hard to say. Point is, you’re wet, and you’re probably going to have to lay down a towel of your own.

On that note, you forgot an important aspect of the exposition: You’re not allowed to touch yourself.

That’s right. You’re in a room with a naked Irene, perhaps the most desired (per capita by fans and/or marketing departments) idol in history, preparing to gape her asshole in exchange for goods and/or services and/or currency totalling in value no less than the approximate equivalent worth of this spa treatment, and you aren’t supposed to get yourself off. But you are supposed to be naked, so you remove your shirt and bra, making just enough noise for her to hear you undressing, since that’s supposed to be how you let her know you’re about to start—

Oh, yes. Did you forget the most, actually, critically important part of your exposition? Oh, you think you caught on to it moments ago? Why, yes. You’re here, specifically, to gape her asshole. No more, except any action that will lead toward said gaping, and definitely no less. You are to take the role of dominant, while she takes the role of submissive. Never mind the fact that, per her instructions, you can’t speak, or make any noise, or touch yourself, or use her body to get yourself off, or choose your own state of undress, or touch any part of her not shown in the diagram on the flowchart, or do anything that isn’t explicitly spelled out on the flowchart… But you are required to spank her if she makes any noises. So yeah, you’re totally the dominant one here. (And, to be more specific, you are to keep track of which buttcheek you last spanked so that you can make sure to spread the ass-slapping evenly between cheeks and preserve symmetry, followed by immediate continuation of whatever action you were in the midst of prior to said spank.)

… Yes, that is the last of the exposition. What? You want to have a flashback to when the verbal negotiations were happening? Absolutely not. That’s dialogue, which is technically against the rules. It’s time to do things to Irene’s butthole. Stop stalling.

Once you remove your skirt, slippers, and underwear, you get onto your knees, noting that the floor seems slightly spongy and wondering what that’s about. Irene’s legs are closed. The crevasse of her ass on its own makes you want to scream, but the centerpoint of the cross formed by that crevasse and her thigh crease . There is the slightest gap at that point which reveals the tiniest sneak peak of what hides between. You bite down on your lips to suppress your instinctual lewd moan. Okay, you’re just getting started. Calm down, or this is going to be impossibly difficult.

You straddle Irene’s calves (without touching them!), take a deep and silent breath, and lean forward, placing your palms first on the flawless globes of her ass, then letting your fingers come to rest as well. They’re such a perfect combination of firm, soft, and smooth that it brings tears to your eyes. The inability to comment on them out loud brings you near-physical pain and certainly-mental anguish. If Irene cares, she’s not making it known. She’s deathly silent, and you only know she’s alive because of the way her back rises and falls with her breath.

Contact achieved. Looking at the flowchart isn’t necessary for now. You had a pretty easy time memorizing steps one through five since they don’t have any branching-off points. Step two is to inspect. You look away and take a couple more deep (and silent!) breaths, then increase the pressure of your hands on Irene’s butt and ever so slowly pull apart.

Within the realm of your imagination, you can see yourself comically hyperventilating. In the real world, you see a hole that you could only ever describe as manicured. Not a hair in sight, and some shade of pink so unrealistically perfect that it probably has a Pantone color named after it (Irene’s Butthole Pink? Pick a hex code). The miniscule folds of flesh are already very slightly gaped, giving you a near-imperceptible view into her interior, as if she’d had someone else very recently do what you’re about to, or as if she’d prepared herself with a butt plug. You wonder if Irene even owns a butt plug though, considering she can probably convince any person on the planet to open up her ass any time she would even want to use one. Or maybe she does have one. The Alexander III Commemorative Fabergé egg is still missing, after all…

You pull a little further, and can’t contain your shudder as not only her asshole opens by another couple millimeters, but her pussy lips spread and eventually split apart when the pressure barely overcomes the moisture holding them together. Your eyes and heart flutter, and you think you might faint. The vagina is one of many areas which is not indicated as touchable on the diagram, which hurts your soul because it’s the perfect number of shades darker than the surrounding skin and—

It’s time to focus! Asshole only! Get your mind out of the gutter!

Keeping one hand in place so she stays half-open, you get a handful of one of the massage oils. It feels room temperature, but you're supposed to hold it until it's warmer, so you stare at Irene's back as you try not to let too much drip away. The movement of her breathing is steady and subtle. In. Out. You try to match her pace. In. Out. In. Out.

When it's ready, you let the oil flow off your hand into the cleft of Irene's ass. She doesn't so much as flinch, which you obviously credit more to your excellent reading of body temperature and less to her ass-trance. But back to the butt in hand.

The oil travels leisurely down her crack, speeding up ever so slightly as the path becomes more vertical, and stopping to pool on top of her hole. You place your oily hand on its designated cheek again and repeat the process on the other side.

It’s time to really get started now… with step three-dash-C.

The tips of your thumbs meet just over her hole and press down flatly so that they do not enter her. You slowly shift them around each other and back, massaging with just the right pressure to stay on the rim. The rest of your hands are for massaging the rest of her derriere. It’s not necessary, but you want to show off your manual dexterity, and you want to make sure she’s as relaxed as can—She’s effectively already achieved Nirvana down there, from the looks of things, actually. The relaxation is for you. You’re the one who’s Nirvous about this anal—Is this a joke to you? It’s time for another spread test. You need to make sure Irene’s ready, because maybe somewhere between steps four-dash-E and four-dash-K you’ll forget to off yourself for that pun… Thank fuck you didn’t say that one out loud.

Step four is the first insertion.

Every ounce of fortitude you have is tested. You hold back your shaking. It’s just a finger. It is just a finger, right? You’ve done this plenty of times, to plenty of idols, no less. Well, not a silent butt-fingering, per se, but you’ve been knuckle deep in other idols before, and often more than one idol and often more than one knuckle! Irene just has a gravitas that makes yo—Don’t you dare say she has a gravitass. Stay. Quiet! And keep her ass spread with your free hand.

You watch the carefully trimmed, polished nail of your forefinger leisurely slip into her asshole. Then you pass your first knuckle. You stop on the second and quietly release your held breath. You don’t recall making an analogy about the feeling of her ass cheeks, but you’ll sure as hell compare the interior of her butt to cashmere. The minor gape you’d noticed previously has no effect on how tightly the hole hugs your digit.

Irene’s back rises a centimeter higher, and falls more slowly. Her pattern is broken. You catch your breath again. Did you do something wrong? Is the massage oil adequate? No, it’s only meant to be the starter. This was the whole intention. Right? You glance at the flowchart. Yes, step three, massage oil only, no additional lubrication. You do your best to relax and drag your finger back.

The way her asshole holds on to your finger is its own story of seduction, affair, and dramatic departure. She (her hole is a she) clearly doesn’t want her (so is your finger) to go, but she has to, lest her family shun her. But she cannot resist returning, leaving again despite all the kissing and languid hugging, and returning once more. One last time, she escapes completely, but after telling the story to a saucy friend, introduces Irene’s butt to them, and suddenly the sordid romance becomes a menage a trois.

Two fingers, two knuckles deep in Irene’s ass, you note your own wetness beginning to trail down your inner thigh. You aren’t sure exactly why the thought crosses your mind that you hope that it will somehow evaporate against your ragingly hot and bothered leg.

Now, out, and back in, out, and back in. With your breath. You match Irene’s. Out, and back in.

You gulp. You’re halfway through step four’s substeps. Next is the addition of another finger and more thrusting at a torturously slow pace for an actually timed five minutes. You find yourself hypnotized by it. The five minutes pass by in something more like twelve seconds, and the clock on the wall gently changes color to let you know it’s time to make the final preparations for step five. It’s not magical. It’s just connected by bluetooth to the phone to your left.

But what is magical? You’ve come this far, so you should know by now. It’s Irene’s asshole. You remove two of three fingers, then reinsert one more from the opposite hand, and as cautiously as you can, pull apart. There’s the magic.

Irene’s butt is open, and not just immediately around your fingers, but in a whole oval shape. It’s not enormously wide, but it’s enough that you could reasonably, without discomfort, insert the tip of your tongue.

… Hey. Wouldn’t you know it? That’s step five.

Rimming is always a questionable thing to do to your nose, ranging from the worst to a merely neutral idea. When you draw in close to Irene’s open ass, however, it’s the massage oil that overpowers your trepidatious olfactory sense. You’d noticed earlier that it was labeled as Fresh Linen, a scent that certainly makes sense given Irene’s reputation for laundry-doing, but it triggers a seemingly unrelated and entirely Loony memory of the smell of coffee. How the smells of linen and coffee are linked in your mind, you may never know. Perhaps you should see a professional about that.

But how’s the taste? Well, bland with the slight bitter spike of chemicals that improve viscosity but shouldn’t be ingested in large quantities. The risk of health complications is extremely low though, and you’d risk significantly more for this specific opportunity.

Irene’s butt cheeks and your face cheeks are still separated by your hands, but as of step five-dash-B that will no longer be the case. For now, your lips and tongue are in full contact, and that would be more than enough. To be licking around and inside the asshole of Irene, the rarely disputed queen of idols, you have to be infinitely lucky. You thank heaven you are.

Your focus is drawn in further and further. No more jokes. No more references to other stories. Even the most obvious pun/reference slips from your mind as you try your best to keep your tongue soft for Irene’s pleasure.

Your complete and total compliance doesn’t go unnoticed by Irene, somehow. The tiniest roll of her hips, that barest indication of her appreciation, kicks your core into overdrive. The trail down your thigh widens and it’s all you can do to beg the universe that you won’t drip on her calves.

It takes more strength than you knew you had not to squeal your desperation into her ass. Your thighs and your lungs and your everything else burn with desire. You know it’s not for want of air since your nose is still free, so it has to be your overwhelming need for Irene’s attention. You’d do anything. You are doing anything. A friendly agreement to gape her hole? No, this is a test, a labor, a trial. You’re proving your devotion.

You’re not licking a queen’s ass. 

You’re worshipping a goddess. 

It’s not a flowchart. 

It’s a divine ritual.

The shifting color on the clock only mostly guides you out of your trance. You pull away with a heavy heart, staring half lidded at the strings of saliva still connecting you with what you now live for. There’s no difference in size, but you much prefer the sheen you left on her rim to that of the oil. Step five isn’t over yet.

Do rituals have steps? You try to think back to any hieroglyphics you’ve seen in old textbooks. There were no numbers… Obviously there were no numbers. They were hieroglyphics. You can’t read that shit—

Stop.

You remove your fingers, allowing Irene’s ass to close once more. It happens slowly. You nearly choke, watching her hole return to its previous shape with your breath held so tightly in your chest that it feels like something is going to burst. Hey, maybe it will, but that can’t happen yet. That would be too loud, and your goddess demands silence, so you open your mouth to simply allow the breath to drift out along with any comments you had on the subject.

You close back in once again, this time letting your face settle against Irene’s cheeks and gently nudge them apart, reattaching your tongue to her rim. You want to dive in, to feel her squeeze you, maybe even cum around you, but that’s not part of the ritual. You need to give her rest. The best is yet to cum—no. Come. You give her the lightest rimming you can, holding your tongue back to merely caress her asshole while you silently revel in the light press of her glutes on your cheeks.

Another slight roll of her hips sends you reeling. Your vision fades and Irene is all that’s left. You can see the movement. It’s not just her breath, but her oh-so-gentle rocking back and forth that makes the light and shadows play across her back like the grains of the Elysian fields waving in the breeze. It doesn’t seem right for you to be allowed to experience this, to taste this, to be treated to a view of paradise, to understand the touch of divinity.

The gently shifting color of the clock, magenta to yellow, broadens your vision again. You back away, taking a deep breath that you only now realize you desperately needed.

Without thinking, finally, you do as Irene has commanded. You place your palms on her ass: your altar. You slide your thumbs into her glorious hole, and you pull apart softly. Her muscles have relaxed so thoroughly that you meet no resistance. She is simply open, as if this is just how she was always meant to be, told in myths that cannot be written. Her soft ass doesn’t try to clench down. It remains a portal that entices you, begs you to enter.

And you could. Certainly, as is the case with other gods, Irene could forgive you for showing her your specialty. You, the heroic champion, could show her an unexpected pleasure. Touch her clit, lap at her juices, grind yourself on the back of her thigh. Her instruction indicated that you’re the dominant one here. Make it so.

You hook the first knuckle of each of your pointer fingers, as directed, inside.

No. You can’t get greedy now. You’re not that kind of hero.

Irene opens further around your digits with no effort. Now you see the depth of her abyss, and it does not try to close. Irene wants you to see into her. Even the beautiful spheres of her ass to either side, her graceful back, her soft legs, her captivating hair… It all fades away. You know what the next step is. You don't need the clock to intuit the moment she's ready. Your higher thoughts and your lust blend together.

Slowly, you pull further apart. Not much. It may not seem like it's so small, but this immortal gateway still needs to be treated with reverence. For every millimeter you actually widen her, though, you see miles more. It makes you feel light-headed, even a little dizzy. And when you slide your fingers out, those feelings become far more distinct. Irene remains open.

Gaping may have been an appropriate word for her to have described what she wanted from you, but it was far too crude to represent what you see now. Then again, you’re not sure what else to call it. It’s been a while since the thesaurus failed you.

Irene's muscles are relaxed. Serene, even. Like this is where they should naturally be. You simply guided them.

You lean back in and gently kiss her rim. It's dangerous, running your tongue around the defined edge of the mortal and everlasting, but exhilarating. The slight rolling of her hips is your indication that Irene is feeling the same passion, for all the hubris it takes to assume such a thing about your goddess. As far as you know, she could just be moving because your tongue and lips aren't in the right places and making up for your inadequacies.

Still, every slight, slow shade of her ass against your cheek is a divine caress, urging you further along the journey. Your kisses are as insistent as you can get them without making the grave error of smacking your lips.

In the foggiest reaches of your vision, a hand reaches out to you along the floor. Irene grasps at the air like she wants something. That’s not part of the ritual. You can only think of one thing in the moment, and you take her hand in yours.

Irene’s fingers close around yours and curl into your palm. They flutter every time you swirl your tongue across her rim, and, after a moment, they squeeze.

It’s terrifying, at first, when Irene trembles underneath you. It evokes thoughts of earthquakes, brought upon by the wrath of the gods. But no, it’s orgasm. Her asshole contracts slightly, but otherwise just quivers against your mouth. It ends almost as soon as it begins.

Irene takes her hand away, and a bit of your soul with it. She lightly presses on the clock, and it shifts to white. You don’t have to be reminded of what that means. Steeling your heart, you back off of Irene’s ass and carefully push yourself up to your feet. Even at your full height, you can see into Irene’s hole. Taking it in with the full picture of the rest of her body is an incredible sight to behold. Knowing that you contributed to it makes it even more beautiful.

As you look over her, your eyes go wide and you have to contain a gasp. Irene’s calves are covered in little wet streaks, right where you had been hovering over her. Embarrassment washes over you. It's hard to imagine being so turned on as to not have felt yourself dripping on her, especially after having worried about that very thing mere minutes ago. You want to reach for a towel to correct your mistake, but you know you're not supposed to touch her. You're supposed to be dressing yourself and leaving, so you step away, and reach down for your clothes.

Your arms feel heavy as you pull your underwear up, only getting more embarrassed about how soaked they immediately become.

As you put on your shirt though, Irene moves again. You can't help but stand perfectly still, mesmerized by the smooth motion of Irene getting up onto her knees and sitting back on her heels. Now upright, she's even more statuesque, back curved inward from her generous bottom up to her gentle shoulders. One hand releases her hair from its bun, and the night sky falls past her neck, simultaneously obscuring and enhancing that gorgeous expanse.

Irene’s torso twists a quarter in your direction. It's hard to think that for however long you've been here, this is the first you've seen her face and it's merely a silhouette, not even far enough around that she could look at you out of the corner of her eye. All you can see is her eyelashes, pointed down, to indicate that her eyes are closed. The movement also coyly presents you with the side of her breast, yet another of the endless curves of her body that you have had no opportunity to worship.

One graceful arm comes back. Her fingers find their way to the cleft of her ass and sensually feel their way down. You don't even think to wipe away your drool as you watch those fingers dip inward. They move in and out, unhurried and exquisite.

Your mind reels. Were you not enough? Is she just basking in the remnants of her pleasure? Is she doing this for you to watch? Should you even still be here?

Irene continues to toy lightly with her asshole while at the same time her other hand shakes out her hair from below. 

Your legs twitch. You can't stay here anymore. You practically jump into your skirt, grab your shoes, and you're out the door. You keep the doorknob turned in your hand even as you whip yourself outside so the latch won't click when you close it.

In the hallway, you slump back against the wall. Your body is on fire. You need to be touched. You don’t live very far away. You can get home fast, and if you can’t grab someone on the way, idol or otherwise, you’ll be sitting on a vibrator all night—

The door you just came through opens again. Irene walks out in a shoulderless sweater, just long enough to cover her shorts, and sneakers. How she can look so casual, you’re sure you’ll never comprehend.

She doesn’t turn to leave, though. She steps closer to you, and closer, and closer. The hallway isn’t that wide. Are her steps inches long or is space expanding? Either way, she crosses and stands over you. It doesn’t matter what your height was. Your knees will only hold you against the wall at a height that makes it look like Irene is miles taller.

You open your mouth. You want to ask her to make good on her end of your bargain right now. Or maybe not. It doesn’t really matter. You just want to say something. But before you can, you feel the shock of physical connection. Irene strokes your cheek with the back of her fingers. Her eyes capture yours, holding you steady.

The distance becomes inches, and you’re paralyzed. She doesn’t blink as she gets even closer, but closes her eyes just in time to remove the final gap and touch her lips to yours. She kisses you so softly that you can barely feel it. In fact, the whole of your body seems suddenly light and cloudish, like a breeze could send you away. You even feel a drop of rain leave your eye.

When she retreats, she gives you the coyest smile to ever coy, and as she approaches her full height again, her fingers leave your jawline and the lightness you felt reverses. Gravity crashes your ass into the floor.

Then Irene turns to leave, breaking the line of sight to her eyes, freeing your own to wander. The last thing you see before she turns the corner is that she is not, in fact, wearing shorts under her sweater. You get one last glimpse of your handiwork. Though you can’t see very well and can’t imagine her ass is still gaped now that she’s back on her feet, it is still visibly wet, as are the backs of her thighs and calves.

[gaming-thoughts-by-an-idiot]

Okay so this is prob a baldur's gate 3 spoiler so if you haven't # out that tag, then uh? Yes.

This is also obviously a rant.

So I'm on my 4th playthrough, and my take on the guardian/ emperor changed. Very. Fast. And not in a very nice way.

So the first time I was in love with my guardian, I was in a romance with Astarion, but holy shit I would give the world to my guardian, so yes u can imagine my fucking heartbreak of the moment I saw him, like I had to stop gaming cuz I felt so betrayed.

And then I obviously were just hurt and whatever but nice about it to him.

Then I decided I would actually romance him as my second character, mage dude, and well....

Things happened, and I got the same story he had like "Nobody knew who I was, I had so many friends" bleh bleh, and I remember feeling pretty like 🤨 when bone daddy- I mean Withers, said that mindflayers don't have souls like? Excuse you what about the emperor??

And I ofc slept with him, which u can do, and I obviously don't kink shame if you're into it, but i was not

I was hiding my face, peeking through my fingers, and then just regret everything ever.

And like? Romance was fine, and I didnt turn into a mindflayer at the end, cuz I was also dating Karlach and well... can't be a mindflayer then.

And the whole thing that HE was the founder of Baldur's gate? That HE IS him??? Honestly?

At that point I felt even more upset, and disgusted. Not only cuz of what he did, but just... him. And ugh. (I didn't do that quest the first time, cuz I didn't know)

Then come me as durge...

First of all... I've never loved a character more, maybe Gage from fallout 4, than my durge, a queen like wow💅🏻

And with her I was just done with the emperor, like... I expected him to be the same, ya know?

But no.

No.

He was NOT!!!! the same.

And this game have sent me on so many rollercoasters I wanna lie down and never get up

I feel so betrayed? So... stupid I feel so fucking stupid, cuz Withers SAYS mindflayers don't have souls?? And I????? Believe this tentacle monster????? Like wtf

And then only to learn that his "friends" were actually NOT???? But basically possessed to "hang out" with him?

And yeah he claims that he ate "only criminals" but how do we know??? If he lied about that? He probably ate other people too, he probably didn't even spiderman/batman himself around like he said/showed us he did.

As I played more and more durge I just felt disgusted and a fool, like?? I do talk, rant, to friends and yes even family, when I'm either yay obsessed about the game/character or to upset rant, and everybody knows about the beginning and end and on actually how much this hurt and I know its so stupid

But o m g I am so??? UGH

I hate him, like I fr fr fr hate him.

I'm playing as a Githyanki now, and I'll find out how that works out, but bruh.

Istg if I find out more shocking things, I will just nap for 3 days...

And I'm trying to stay as much gith as I can, but also how mellow my dude is, but yeah...

I fucking hope I don't have more to add to this, cuz that's gonna be in all capital letters istg

[lunaraindrop]

Steddie prompt: i love you more than i hate myself, and that fucks me up.

Hmm...this could have been really angsty...

Since I run screaming from depressing things, we got this instead! 😂

I hope you like it, Nonny!

---

The summer after the "Earthquake" in '86 had basically been...a bummer. Between Eddie and Max recovering in the hospital, physical therapy, volunteering, and helping to put the town back together, everyone in their rag-tag group didn't really feel like going to picnics and pool parties.

It was the Summer of '87, and Steve Harrington was bound and determined to make sure everyone he loved had the most awesome summer ever.

This especially went for his boyfriend, Eddie.

The poor guy spent the rest of April and all of May in the hospital. June got him released, but he was bedridden and had to hide out at the mausoleum that was Steve's house. By the time July rolled around, his name was completely cleared, but he was learning to walk again like he wasn’t a mummy. Add to it that Max wasn’t officially released until the end of July. Nobody was in a particular party mood. (They still celebrated Eddie's birthday, of course. The kids came over to watch Labyrinth. Wayne bought pizza. Steve made chocolate cake. Eddie snuck a taste before the party by licking the frosting from Steve's lips. Hell of a way to have a first kiss, right?)

Steve was so determined to make this birthday the best for Eddie, he didn't think before he said, "Whatever you want for your birthday, I'll give to you Ed's. Just tell me what you want."

See, Steve loves his boyfriend a lot. That being said, he also knows that his boyfriend is a mischievous goblin man that lives for deals like that.

With a maniacal twinkle in his eye and a smirk that both put worry in his stomach and his knees weak, Eddie said, "Anything, you say?"

And that lead to this.

Steve looked himself in the mirror.

"I hate myself. I just-this is so stupid!"

Eddie called from the other side of the door, "But you love me, dontcha, Lover Boy?"

Steve groaned as he adjusted the shorts.

Though he was still a hot guy with great hair (if he did say so himself l), Steve had gained some weight and muscle since he last donned the Scoops uniform. He knew he didn't grow taller, but the shirt that once fit now showed a sliver of his stomach. His thighs filled the leg holes a bit more. The uniform before made him look a bit like a dweeb. Now he definitely looked like a dweeb that's clothes shrunk in the wash.

Eddie was so going to laugh at him.

Was he really going to walk out there like this?

Steve sighed.

"Well, I love you more than I hate myself, which fucks me up because it makes me agree to do shit like this. So..."

Taking one last look in the mirror, Steve walked into the room. He expected the man he loved to laugh at his ridiculousness.

He did *not* expect the aroused growl and being pounced on by said boyfriend.

In between being kissed within an inch of his life, Eddie said, "Do you have *any* idea how many times I went to Startcourt that summer, just to get a look at you in this? You're my fantasy, my wet dream, baby. And you're all mine now."

Later, after Eddie had...*ahem* unwrapped his present, he cuddled Steve close in bed. "Thank you for giving me that, Stevie. Best present for the best birthday I ever got."

Steve preened proudly in his nakedness. Looks like his Summer plans were succeeding.

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

𝐘𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐑𝐨𝐚𝐝: 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

Summary: When they first met, one would say they didn’t match at all. He was quiet, reserved and shy - unless he was around friends. She, on the other hand, was loud. No matter where she went, she always managed to be the center of attention. Whether it be for her unusual clothes, loud voice or exaggerated laugh. He was just like the earth: Grounded, steady, reliable, trustworthy and predictable. And she was fire in all its glory: Warm, irresistible, uncontrolled, flammable, dangerous. It only took one glance to realize they were never meant to be, at least that’s what everyone thought - including them. But time has only served to prove how wrong they all were.

Pairing: Kenny Omega x OFC Lolli

A/N: Special thanks to Crystal aka @theworldofotps for her undying support 🥰

Tags: @theworldofotps , @writtingrose , @aerynscrichton , @daddyhausen , @melissahausen , @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin , @sophiewolfheart-blog , @sultryfandoms , @new-zealand-chic , @crowleysqueenofhell , @thealliasylum , @legit9thlunaticwarrior , @adamjf , @josiewrites , @seeingstarks , @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch , @whenimakeitshine1234 , @moxkindagirl , @sunshinevirus , @im-just-a-mississippi-girl , @ripleyswhore

He tried to swallow for what felt like a hundred times in the span of 30 seconds. This was a bad idea, Kenny should’ve never let The Bucks convince him of doing this. This would never work, after this stupid stunt, Kenny was sure Lolli would never, ever, forgive him for this.

But what can a man do when all hope is gone? “Shit, it can’t get worse than it already is, right?” He mumbled to himself behind the red velvety curtains. The karaoke host introduced the next contender as a “man trying to make things right again” before all of the lights turned out.

The first notes of the harp played along the karaoke bar and Kenny sent a silent prayer to whatever invisible being might be hearing him right now, before he began.

“I'm limited.

Just look at me.

I'm limited.

And just look at you.

You can do all I couldn't do.

Glinda

So now it's up to you,

For both of us.

Now it's up to you.”

The lights slowly turned on, revealing not only the crowd in front of Kenny but also the only person that truly mattered to him.

There she was, as beautiful as always. Her face was a mix of surprise, disbelief, embarrassment, and something deeper…hope? Love? Kenny sure hoped it was the latter. Grabbing the microphone with a deadly grasp, he continued:

“I've heard it said,

That people come into our lives,

For a reason.

Bringing something we must learn.

And we are lead to those,

Who help us most to grow if we let them.

And we help them in return.

Well I don't know if I believe that's true.

But I know I'm who I am today,

Because I knew you”

Fuck, he was sweating so much. Kenny could feel it dripping down his back before being collected by the waistband of his jeans. He was now thankful for not having had coffee before this because fuck, he was so jittery already.

“Like a comet pulled from orbit,

As it passes a sun.

Like a stream that meets a boulder,

Halfway through the wood.

Who can say if I've been changed for the better,

But because I knew you,

I have been changed for good”

Kenny was certain his heart has never beaten this fast before, not even before the most important matches of his career. He was certain that if he stopped to rationalize everything he was doing right now, he’d have a heart attack. Plain and simple, bang! A dead man on the floor.

“It well may be,

That we will never meet again,

In this lifetime.

So let me say before we part,

So much of me,

Is made of what I learned from you.

You'll be with me,

Like a handprint on my heart”

The yellow front lights momentarily blinded him, shielding his vision from who truly mattered to Kenny the most. He needed to see her, needed to see her expressions and try to read what was going through her mind as he pulled the most tone-deaf show of the night. Being unable to see her face from center stage began to annoy him, so Kenny let his feet guide him down the stairs to the crowd.

“And now whatever way our stories end,

I know you have rewritten mine,

By being my friend.

Like a ship blown from its mooring,

By a wind off the sea.

Like a sea dropped by a sky bird,

In a distant wood.

Who can say if I've been changed for the better,

But because I knew you”

There she was! She looked somewhat different, although her hair, clothes, and lack of obvious makeup were still the same there was something oddly different.

Perhaps it was the shocked expression she had plastered on her face. Yes, it was that! It made her incredibly human, which may seem crazy to say considering she is a human, but if you only knew Lolli then you’d understand. That woman is the personified version of a Pit Bull: impressively smart but sometimes incredibly dumb to the most obvious things, annoying, sometimes rude, resting bitchface, fun to tease, mean when hungry, loyal, all over the place, loud, strong, courageous, and cold and emotionless. But similar to the dog, it was all a gigantic façade, a defense mechanism if you will. Lolli’s imposing “fuck you! I don’t need nobody” demeanor was the only way she found to survive through everything life threw her way ever since she was a child. Once you got to know the person behind the character, you discovered that she was incredibly fragile. And that fragility was what made Kenny’s heart tighten in his chest right now, because even though she was sitting amid these unknown people, Lolli was unable to hide what she despised the most: her true feelings.

“Because I knew you

I have been changed for good”

She tried to hide them from him, but they appeared through her watery eyes. Shit, she hated crying in public! Well, she hated crying in general, but especially around people. Kenny could count on his hand how many times she cried in front of him in their 10 years of friendship. Vulnerability scared her like darkness scared a small child, Kenny thought that was an accurate example because similar to a child, Lolli was also terrified of the dark. She screams whenever there’s a power outage in their house, and Kenny can’t help but remember that when it does happen she instantly screams for him to go stay with her because she doesn’t want to be alone in the dark.

Lolli had found in him a sense of security she never found before in anyone else, her distrustful nature didn’t allow her to trust anyone, but devils be damned there was something about that soft, Canadian blue-eyed man that made her open up like a wildflower and now she hates it, regrets it, despises it.

“And just to clear the air,

I ask forgiveness,

For the things I've done,

You blamed me for”

Really, who the hell does he think he is? Does he think this stupid - and incredibly bad - singing will make her forgive him? Has the last 10 years not been enough for him to know her already? This is stupid! Incredibly embarrassing, uncalled for, and completely unnecessary. The closer Kenny got to her the more she could feel the tears on her eyes growing in weight, and Lolli knew it would be inevitable for them to fall sooner or later. Fuck, she hates this! She doesn’t want to cry in front of these people, she doesn’t want to cry in front of him, goddamn it, she refuses to cry right now! She’ll do it either way but in the comfort and loneliness of her apartment. She doesn’t need Kenny nor these people witnessing her weakness, she can’t let him see what he did to her, what he turned her into a big walking mess of tears and pain.

“But then,

I guess,

We know there's blame to share”

*Blame to share my ass!* She thought to herself as Kenny pulled a chair to sit beside her. Okay, maybe this was the anger and pain speaking, if she had to be honest then yes, they were both to blame. But in her infuriated state of mind refused to acknowledge any kind of blame. Until the rage subsided he was the one to blame for all of this! The pain, the tears, the words spoken throughout an empty apartment, the crushed dreams, the lost hopes. Kenny Omega was the bastard to blame for her broken heart.

“And none of it seems to matter,

Anymore”

*Maybe not to you!* She caught herself thinking. Fuck, she missed him. She missed him so much…

“Like a comet pulled from orbit

(Like a ship blown from its mooring,)”

The crowd began to sing along with Kenny and that’s all Lolli couldn’t stand, to be the center of attention of a drama scene. Kenny knew this, he could see the uncomfortableness in her body language, but what the hell was he supposed to do?! She refused to answer the door whenever he went by her apartment, she blocked his number, she took a different path to work so then he couldn’t find her, and she threatened to castrate The Bucks with a razor blade in case they shared information of her life with Kenny. She wasn’t making it easy for him to contact her so this was the only way he found to at least look at her one last time.

As he sat beside her, Kenny turned his body to the left so he could be face-to-face with her. Her heavy tears now rolled down her cheeks, leaving clear trails on her skin that gleamed underneath the pale yellow lights. From behind her, Kenny could see the people singing along with him, some of them were cheering while others held up a lit lighter in their hands.

“As it passes a sun.

(By a wind off the sea.)

Like a stream that meets a boulder,

(Like a sea dropped by bird,)

Halfway through the wood.

(In the wood.)

Who can say if I've been changed for the better.

I do believe I have been changed for the better.”

Much to her annoyance, Lolli found out that hating Kenny was an easier task when she didn’t have to face him. It was easy to hate him after that night, after everything that was said, after the way he stormed out of her apartment. After the night that changed their lives forever, she had made the silent oath of never speaking to him ever again. And she was being very successful at keeping her promise, but she had to admit that it wasn’t as easy now that he was facing her with those big, stupidly kind, and regretful blue orbs.

“And because I knew you

Because I knew you”

This was it, the very last seconds of Kenny’s opportunity were fading and he could hear his voice growing more nervous after every word. He would never forgive himself if Lolli didn’t agree to at least hear him, all of this would be in vain, and Kenny cannot allow it! In the last 10 years, this woman has proven herself to be the most important part of his being. He could live without a lung, a kidney, a leg, hell even without wrestling! But he cannot live without Lolli.

“Because I knew you,

I have been changed

For good”

After the final notes, the crowd began to chant a mix of “forgive him” and “kiss”. Kenny felt incredibly motivated by the support he was receiving from all these strange people, but deep down he knew it was pointless. Lolli lives by her standards and she’s not someone who cracks under other people’s pressure, if anything, pressuring her to do something she doesn’t want to will only serve as fuel for her to do whatever the fuck she wanted to do.

Kenny placed the microphone on top of the table as he heard her mumbling, “Why?”

“Because I’m desperate” He sincerely answered

“Desperation makes us do some dumb shit” Lolli spat, not so subtly giving Kenny her thoughts on what he just did.

“True” Kenny nodded in agreement, deciding that silence would be his best ally for now

After a couple of silent seconds, she asked with an annoyed tone “Are you gonna say something or not?”

Kenny internally celebrated her question because this meant that she was somewhat willing to listen to him and that by itself was already an accomplishment when it came to Lolli.

“Do you want to come to eat a burger with me? We can stop by that chocolate expo and grab something for dessert afterward”

And of course, the bastard was trying to win her over with food! That’s what 10 years of friendship did, no? Make you earn a kind of knowledge about the other person's weak points that will certainly be used to your advantage at some point in the relationship.

Kenny was trying, he was making an effort. Even though the things he said that night didn’t sound like Kenny at all, he was trying to make things right now.

Lolli needed this, the sentimental dumbass in her needed to hear what Kenny had to say, even if it would make her heart ache worse, she needed this. The brain convinced her that this was the closure she needed, but her heart screamed that this was the opportunity for things to be right again.

Lolli did hear her heart in regards to Kenny, and look at where that led her to, a fucking broken heart. But at the same time, she always heard her rational side, and that had also led her to pain countless times. It all sounded like a big lose-lose to her.

‘You can’t win them all’ they say, well it sounded more like you can’t win at all. So if the inevitable result is to lose every time, what should one do when faced with this scenario? Should they listen to the comfort of the mind and let that lead them to sadness and regret or should they listen to the unfamiliar heart that will take them down the path of pain and sorrow?

Independently of the choice, the results seemed mirrored. So now it was up to Lolli to figure out which path of thorns she was going to take from now on.

“Fine” She answered briefly before grabbing her backpack and following Kenny out to the parking lot under the crowd’s endless ‘uuuuhhhh’ cheering.

[finrays]

Horizon Tag Game?

Stole this one from @foibles-fables

1.ride or die ship (your otp): It may be abnormal, but I don’t really ship things except in like… an offhanded “Oh that might be cute” kind of way. Just not what comes into my head when I consume media. I’ve never been ride or die for a ship in my life.

2. most annoying ship: The Odyssey, because it brought the Zeniths back

3. second favourite ship: The one that rammed the Horus off of San Francisco

4. favourite platonic relationship: NOW we’re speaking my language; these games are SO GOOD about friendships, it’s hard to pick just one. I could talk about ALL of them for DAYS.

But I’ll focus in on one; I absolutely LOVE the Erend-Varl dynamic. They have such a feeling of “We’re both smart, capable men but when we’re together, we just discard all our brain cells and do stupid shit for fun,” and they both SORELY need it, I love it so much. And! They also have good talks about their feelings; Erend specifically mentions sitting down with Varl and having a beer and a good talk, and I love the shit out of it.

5. underrated ship: That’s all the ships I know of in this game… maybe there will be others in H3? The Skiff from Burning Shores is pretty fun, even if there ARE Waterwings that outclass it.

6. overrated ship: The ones that foundered on the way from the Quen homeland, probably, I bet they hyped those fuckers up and then they SANK the minute they hit a typhoon. Shameful.

7. one thing i would change in canon: So fucking much. I’ve written numerous posts about this before. And the cheap answer would be my ecology rants, lol. But…

I think I’m with Foibs on this one; Zeniths as the ultimate antagonists of H3. Imagine spending the entire time in FW learning about the Claw-Back. About how the world was reeled back from the brink of ecological collapse. And imagine, sprinkled throughout, we have the voices of the people who are currently returning on the Odyssey; Gerard, standing in the way of a coastal restoration project, because he could make money off of beachfront condos. Erik, being called in to break up a protest with vicious efficiency. Walter, being nonchalant about the radiation his rockets produce. All these people, putting selfishness and profit above people and planet. We get a chance to really dig our teeth into hating them for a reason. There are bits and pieces of this in the Canon As is of FW, but you have to HUNT them down. Imagine these people being front and center.

And then imagine we finally see the Zeniths at the end of the game. And we realize with a start…

…we’ve heard their voices before.

Thematically, the 1% coming back to take the planet after the hard work of restoring it is done, and Aloy and Co putting down their feet and going “NO” is much more satisfying a narrative to me than “Oh noooo, there’s a Big Bad AI coming” but I’m not in charge of the writing, I’m counting fish halfway across the world. So.

8. something canon did right: I’m literally spitting down HFW’s throat for this. I’m slamming its face into a bench covered in wet paint. I make NO apologies whatsoever for this brand of criticism because it’s one of my Pet Soapbox Issues. The ecology stuff is just for fun. This is Serious Times.

But the first game NAILED their scientist characters. All of them felt so much like people I’ve met in the field. Which is to say, HUMAN people, driven by passion, hope, fear, EMOTION. They really, really did well with it.

And then totally threw it out the window in the second game, but that’s another rant entirely.

9. a thing i'm proud of creating for the fandom PLEASE BRAG ABOUT YOURSELF I WANT TO SEE/READ YOUR ART: Here’s my AO3 if you want it.

10. a character who is perfect to me (wouldn't change a thing): I… don’t have one, actually. Even the characters I love dearly were, I think, mishandled in many ways that I don’t agree with. I think Alva comes closest. But even she, I have some notes for, as far as gameplay/story separation goes… they could have done a better job with everyone.

11. the character i relate to the most and why: Elisabet. 100%. She’s my favorite for a reason. When I was 16, I decided on my career trajectory for similar reasons to hers; I wanted to help. I wanted to make the world a better place. To see that actually represented in a character focused in the sciences is… shockingly rare. Additionally? Our personalities ended up being fairly similar as well. High anxiety, very strongly introverted, cares deeply but has weird/nonstandard ways of showing it, trouble connecting with people… I really feel like this is the closest I’ve seen to seeing myself represented onscreen, and it’s in a positive light this time! Mostly! I love it and I love her so much.

12. character(-s) i hate the most and why: I don’t think I outright hate any characters in this series outside the narrative sense? There are ones I don’t understand the appeal of. There are ones I’m puzzled by. But it’s not really personal. It’s not hatred. Like, even Ted, who’s SUPER fun to hate on, is well-fitted to his role. And that’s pretty cool.

13. something i've learned from the fandom: They will make it so much worse than you could have ever imagined (both affectionate and derogatory.)

14. three tags i seek out on ao3: I don’t browse AO3! I take fic recs from friends, mostly.

15. a song i strongly associate with my otp/favourite character: Crossing the Bar for Elisabet. It’s such a melancholy song that captures that moment where she left GAIA Prime so perfectly… I can’t listen to it without thinking about her, asking her friends not to say goodbye and to take care of each other. Knowing what was coming. Gives me the sads, man.

tagging: I feel that since I stole it, I should just tell you to steal it too.

[forcebookish]

Please, I can't even browse the TopMew and ForceBook tags without people shitting on them. It's driving me nuts, like what happened to keeping your negative opinions to yourself.

oh BL fandom does not know how to do that, i experienced this with abaab too. straight up people in the tag like, "i don't like a boss and a babe." like cool, literally no one asked, fuck off then.

i made a post in all the tags telling them to shut the hell up and keep it on their own blogs but they won't listen. it should be the first thing you learn about tumblr: keep your whining on your own blog and leave it out of the tags but noooooooooooooooo, not in BL fandom. EVERYONE has to know how stupid you are lol

i simply don't go in the tags anymore, and if i do i just hit J until i find a gifset and sometimes even those aren't safe😒

also i can't BELIEVE that people still have negative things to say after that incredible scene between them. none of these assholes know what good acting is nor do they deserve forcebook. i hope they stub their toes.

here's the thing about opinions: maybe they're just personal feelings blah blah blah, but when you're going against literally everyone in production and the industry who praise forcebook's talent and chemistry, you're straight up wrong. there's no other word for it. you'd think they'd get that by now but

i hate this word but, cringe tbh. imagine thinking that your "opinion" holds more weight and importance than industry professionals, than the directors themselves. every director forcebook have worked with praise and love them. how are these losers not embarrassed? just can't handle that their faves aren't the leads i guess. unrelatable *flips hair*

stay strong, anon❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 like i always say, hit that block button till it bruises❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

[tarmac-rat]

15 Lines Game

Tagged by @seraphfighter (and I may or may not have already compiled some of these hoping someone was gonna tag me so thank you for making my dreams come true lmao 👉 👈)

Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture their character/personality/vibe. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you’re free to include those as well. If you wanna you can send me one of these and i will give you context/ a snipped of what it is from! (you could also guess the context if you like!)

Open tag to anyone who wants to try this one but @seeker-of-truth @trashcatsnark @nightcxty @clusterfxckedbysirens @haveyouseenmymarbles idk maybe you guys will have fun with this one :3

These are all Riley's, shocker. Most of these are pubbed work but a smattering of them are from drafts and WIPs because Idk if those works will ever see the light of day and I really love some of the bits I write for her there too:

"I'm just a kid with a bike and a jacket. Nothing more."

["You're supposed to be dead!"] "So I've heard. Thinking I might've missed a memo on that one."

"I just don’t think the kettle gets to spout off about why he thinks the pot’s in the wrong.”

"Apologies for not coming up with a goddamn SWOT analysis for why I shouldn't get my brains blown out by a two-ton war mech!"

"No, you don't get to pull that shit on me! I am not some girl you can give flowers to in the hopes for another quick fuck. I am not a Samurai groupie you can treat like dirtshit 'cause you think I've got nothing better to do with my life. Because for the very first time, you're not the one in control, and I bet that just scares the living goddamn shit outta you, doesn't it? Well, too fucking bad!"

"If I wanted salvation, I’d’ve gone to fucking confessional. Let’s settle for survival instead."

"Want me to play by your rules? Fine. But if I do, least you all can do is help me not get another bullet buried in my skull."

"Might be an asshole but I’m an asshole with some fucking standards."

"I spent my entire childhood in a desert. When the hell was I supposed to learn how to swim?"

“But don't you dare think for a moment that I'm putting myself through all of this misery out of some twisted need to prove you wrong.”

"Oh, you're gonna wanna pick your next words real carefully, asshole, else you're gonna see why daddy Deckard should've told you not to piss off dirty nomad skanks like me."

"Got a kind of confidence in me I'm not even sure I possess."

["I want Yorinobu to answer for his crime of patricide."] "And I want ten million eddies and a gold-plated Nazaré— doesn’t mean I’m getting either of ‘em anytime soon."

"Learned from the best, take after the worst."

"Is it really that stupid to hope that everyone'll make it out of this hellhole of a city with their souls still intact, even if we can't!?"

[raybytheway]

I love not being new to tumblr but still being clueless as to what means of interacting I should take in certain situations.

If I agree with someone and wish to expand, do I comment or reblog? And why?

If I see art I like, does reblogging mean anything? I have maybe 2 followers and don't tag my posts. Like 3 cool people here know I exist and that's only because I occasionally bother them. Hell, IS it bad manners to occasionally just poke people for silly shit? (I'm doing it anyway)

Is just liking a post bad manners? Must I also reblog? Is merely liking a post something people give shit for?

When do I pm someone? When do I ask someone?

How do reblog games work?

Do I really have to reblog the "If you don't rb ur bad!!" posts? No. Lol. Lmao, even. Rofl, if I may.

My answer to all of these is fuck you I HATE all of you and hope this site MELTS to the GROUND and when it DOES im going to PEE on the molten REMAINS that lay where a SHITTY echochamber of DUMBness and STUPID once stood. ("Waa waa curate your experience" CURATION ISNT ENOUGH I NEED THESE PEOPLE TO EAT IGNEOUS ROCKS (You're right tho teehee))

I will do what I WANT because you all are but little ANTS inside of my PHONE at the MERCY of my every WHIM. I do not LIKE this app enough to LEARN the RULES of how to USE it and will USE it how I WANT.

Also happy pride month to 2 of said 3 people I occasionally bother. The 3rd person is lucky I forgot them or I would bother them just as much. @glassbirdfeather @transgender-chiroptera

I'll remember you, third person. And I'll tag YOU in my midnight essay-like blogs that go no where. Be afraid.

[angrypedestrian]

My good pal @explosionshark tagged me asking my top 5 impactful bands/artists, and I am happy to oblige. These are vaguely in chronological order, but also time is soup, so.

1. Sum 41 - This could probably be swapped with Simple Plan or Good Charlotte too, but I think Sum 41 is the least embarrassing (?), so we'll go with that. But basically they were my introduction to pop-punk and, like, subculture in general. I was 12/13-ish when All Killer, No Filler came out, and Fat Lip alone got me out of a rut of just listening to country music and whatever was on the radio, and made me start having my own opinions about what music I wanted to listen to outside of what was being played AT me. And from there it was a direct line to stuff like AFI, and then eventually emo and everything else in its wake.

2. Saaa - You may recall, one of my biggest Brands is being a ska lover and appreciator. It all starts with Saaa. They were a group of kids from my high school (I went to a school with an insanely successful marching band, we subsequently had A LOT of ska bands with really talented horn sections), who were seniors when I was a freshman, and they were the first actual show, not A Concert, that I went to. I had so much fun dancing with my friends, learning to be in a pit, learning that music can be a real community, not just listening to stuff on your CD player alone. Honestly there may not be a more impactful band for who I am now and what I stand for. The link for this one is from my personal google drive, because I have carted the three Saaa demo mp3s I have with me from computer to computer for almost 20 years. They are one of my most prized possessions, and if I ever lose them, I WILL cry.

3. Circle Takes The Square - My memory is terrible, so I may be wrong about this, but CTTS was the first heavy band that made me actually, seriously interested in heavy music. I liked Slipknot and Linkin Park and shit when I was a kid (and don't get me wrong, they still rule), but it was very surface level angry teen stuff. CTTS was my gateway into understanding why screamo and hardcore and things on that side of the spectrum were actually good. As you may recall I grew up in ground zero for militant vegan straight edge hardcore, and all those dudes were so FUCKING annoying so I dismissed several whole genres of music in the process of hating them. But I was wrong about that, hardcore and screamo and metal all are good, actually. Also, my first tattoo was a lyric from Crowquill. But I was 18 and definitely misconstrued a line that was sarcastic as being sincere. Whoops! It is large and dark and takes up a whole inner bicep, double whoops!!!

4. Team Dresch - This is the one that changed everything, like really and truly. Team Dresch was my intro into queercore, and inspired me to start Fuck Yeah! Queer Music over a decade ago. I found Team Dresch as a newly gay punk kid who loved to be a pretentious little shit about being into 90s emo, and learning that there was a band of queer women making the music all the bands full of cis men I loved to listen to (and making it better!!) blew my mind wide fucking open, and I haven't looked back since. Personal Best is one of my most listened to records, and I still can't believe sometimes that I have gotten to see them twice! If you're gay and punk and play in a band, you probably have Team Dresch to thank.

5. RVIVR - I don't know how to put into words how important RVIVR is to me. Suffice it to say, this is a band that actually kept me from killing myself in a very very real way. I wouldn't be here typing this without them, and I miss them every single fucking day. But as long as I can hope that maybe one day I'll get to see them one last time, I'll be here. (Fun fact: not only are they the only band I've seen twice in one day, I've seen them twice in one day on two separate occasions! Second fun fact: I also saw them one (1) week after I got top surgery and still had my drains in! That was stupid, but I'm glad I did because it was the last time I ever got to see them)

(Gotta give an honorable mention to Ace of Base though, my first favorite band, whose first record came out in the US when I was 5 or 6, and it was the first cassette I ever owned. I listened to it CONSTANTLY and it is absolutely the reason I am gay today).

Curious to hear anyone else's top five influential bands or albums! @pivitor @piratejenne @unsungfury @whatthehelliswrongwithhim pop to mind, but truly anyone else reading this I love hearing about shit like this from people.