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darklydeliciousdesires · 1 year

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Lost & Found - Chapter Sixteen.

First update of the week is here again! Big thanks for all your engagement, my lovely little audience :)

Previous chapters - One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve Thirteen Fourteen Fifteen

Words - 3,448

Warnings - 18+ content throughout, Minors DNI. Recounts of kidnap, child trafficking, physical/verbal/sexual abuse.

New relationships. For the most part, the new voyage with a brand-new person is taken upon a calm sea of getting to know one another, hanging out, having fun, and a copious amount of sex. Occasionally, though, the sea gets a little choppy.

Especially when said new relationship involves living together right off the bat.

Even more so when person A has been recovering from a hellish life, and person B has been tiptoeing around them because of this, perhaps taking a little more in the way of selfishness than he should have.

Lee already had a tension headache that morning. Hearing Emma and Guero going at one another with the kind of decibels that made her brain feel like it was rattling in her skull didn’t help. She’d be lying if she’d stated that she hadn’t been wondering when this might all blow up, from the little observances she’d noted between the two.

“You know, if things ever go south with me and Bish, I’m fuckin’ marrying you,” she spoke, a look of bliss on her face, Angel standing behind her squeezing the tension from her neck. It was always the cause of her headaches. That and she refused to wear her glasses as much as she should.

“What, just for my massage skills? ‘Cuz if you think my hands feel great on your neck...” Looking down, she saw them hovering above her boobs, Lee nudging him with a soft elbow.

“Quit it!”

He laughed returning them to her neck, both of them distracted as the clubhouse door flew open, the small hurricane of a very pissed off Emma flying out, Guero following.

“Em! Get the fuck back here!”

“No way, not after what you just said!”

“Damn,” Angel winced, “she’s getting sassy.”

“Yeah, she’s pushing back,” she observed, sipping her coffee. “Now that she actually can.”

“How’d you mean?”

Lee circled her neck a little, a few clicks sounding. “She had nineteen years of never being able to fuckin’ argue against anything. Don Lombardi said jump, she asked how high. Now she knows she’s not gonna cop a beating or a hot knife against her, she’s learning to speak up.

“I think she’s pretty fuckin’ sparky by nature, but it’s been supressed for a long fuckin’ time and poor Guero, he ain’t used to it. He’s gotten used to this sweet, meek woman who didn’t disagree with nothing, you know? To be fair, though, he’s also let her get away with it, wanting her own way now she realises she can, and him suddenly not letting her ain’t fuckin’ sitting well with Emma, being told no.”

Angel marvelled at how, as usual, Lee truly was the all-seeing eye of the MC family, her assessment making a lot of sense to him, even if he hadn’t really noticed any details beyond the fact the young couple had been yelling at one another for the last twenty minutes. “They should just go bang it out, man. Always works for me.”

Lee leaned back, viewing him upside down with a raised eyebrow. “And when was the last time you had a healthy relationship from those avoidance tactics, hmm?”

He thought for a few moments, moving his hands to the base of her skull. “Hmm.”

“Exactly,” she grinned, winking.

“Yeah, yeah, alright,” he laughed, shaking his head. “I guess me and women don’t exactly go hand in hand like that.”

“Nope, because you only ever keep ‘em at arm's length. Or dick’s length, never really let ‘em in, do you?”

He had no comeback for that, the truth of his lack of confidence in relationships presented to him, tugging a tiny piece of her hair before he continued his pinching. “Whatever it is, I kinda hope they’re done soon. It's too early for all this loud bitching.”

“And if we agree on one fuckin’ thing, Reyes elder, it’s that!” she sighed, the shouting from across the yard not showing any signs of abating just yet. At least one good thing had come from it, she guessed. Emma now realised that anger wasn’t the ultimate precursor to anything bad happening, she didn’t recoil from a raised voice and tremble in fright. Quite the opposite, in fact.

Expressing angry emotions instead of bottling things up was healthy, but perhaps in that moment they both needed to walk away and calm down, Guero finally doing that, storming back into the clubhouse while Emma tore a path back to the workshop with heat in her heels, her jaw set.

“The absolute fucking nerve of him!” she muttered, picking up a spanner, beginning her work again.

“Hey, no rage while you’re working with brake cables,” Lee instructed, pointing across the shop at her.

“I can’t help it! Jesus fucking Christ, he’s got me so damned mad!”

“While you’re in my workshop, yeah you fuckin’ can. I’m technically your boss, so I can tell you what to do, and you can either like it or leave, Emma. If I say no rage, then you gotta calm your fuckin’ shit down before you work on brakes. We clear?”

She chewed the inside of her cheek with annoyance, placing the spanner down and sighing, counting to ten. “Yeah, yeah, we are. Sorry.”

“Good.” Lee watched her carefully, taking a few moments to cool off, sipping at her cherry Coke while she calmed down, moving back to the huge Harley and continuing with her task of fitting the new brake cables. She left it about ten minutes before speaking again. “Alrighty, now boss Lee is done, friend Lee is here. Whassup with you guys? You wanna talk about it, chat it out, spill all?”

“Lots of little things,” she began, her nostrils flaring as she took off her gloves, leaning on the handlebars of the bike before her. “It’s all compounded and he’s basically calling me selfish for always wanting my own way, but I’m not! He isn’t being fair!”

A few more details were revealed, the main bone of her contention being that he refused to travel nearly two hours away to see a used car she liked the look of, his refusal not being met by anything close to grace. Most of her other gripes were of a similar pattern, which if Emma took ten seconds to breathe over rather than losing her cool, she’d see she was being a little unreasonable about. Lee knew why she was struggling with that, though.

In truth, this was her first real relationship with someone, and even though a fully grown woman at twenty-nine, her expectations were quite childish. She expected her own way because Guero had so far let her have it, and maybe that was his fault, setting a standard that wasn’t realistic. Emma experiencing this sudden hostility was likely triggering of her past, though, never being able to have her own voice, being dictated to as well.

It wasn’t really her fault; she simply didn’t know how to handle conflict, how to compromise, since she’d never experienced give and take. Likely, she thought that compromise meant she was being ordered around again, when that simply wasn’t the case. It really didn’t help that Guero too only had two modes, calm and easy, or flying off the handle. He was just like his dad in that respect; there was no in between. Either way, Lee knew she had to handle her reply very carefully.

“Okay, I’m not saying all, but a lot of this is boiling down to you not liking hearing the word no, because it reminds you of a time when that was all you did hear. I also get it that you want to ask for things, now that you actually can. You deserve ‘em, sunshine! Ain’t nobody who does more than you after all you fuckin’ went through, but there’s a but here.”

“And that is?” she asked, Lee pulling her cigarettes out and lighting up.

“You gotta see you can’t expect everything to go your way. Guero is entitled to have his own opinions and if they don’t mesh with yours, you can’t fuckin’ blow up and demand of him. He isn’t Rocco, babe. Yeah, he can be bad tempered, but he ain’t trying to clip your wings, hold you down, bend you to his will, which is the way I think you’re taking it.”

“Let’s use the car thing as an example. Him not wanting to take you all the way up to Anaheim to see a used car you’ve found, a near two-hour journey each way isn’t him being an asshole. I mean, you haven’t even fuckin’ got your learners permit yet! There’re stacks of cars closer to home for sale, too. That’s where you have to meet him halfway and compromise. It’s his time off, he doesn’t wanna spend nearly four hours of it on a fuckin’ motorcycle again when he could be just chilling out, enjoying his time with you in any number of other ways. C'mon, surely you can see that?”

It wasn’t the reply she’d been expecting, but if Emma was brutally honest with herself, it was the one she needed to hear. Lee’s usual calm pragmatism, delivered in her no-nonsense, yet gentle fashion put a hole in her armour, one she needed to actually let in a little bit of sense. Butting heads with Guero, especially how fiery he was when pissed off, had done nothing but make her build a further wall.

Emma realised she was being overly defensive and thus his perfectly reasonable refusal to let her have her own way wasn’t being met by any fairness from her, because it wasn’t getting through. She cringed internally at herself as the realisation of it smacked her.

As if reading her thoughts, Lee continued. “I’ll add here too that you’re not solely in the wrong. Guero and his crazy little temper should know that yelling at you isn’t gonna solve shit. You’ve had too much yelling, but he struggles hanging onto his fire. He needs to dial it back, though.”

The uncomfortableness began to subside, Emma realising it was time to put on her big girl pants. “I’m being a bit of a princess, aren’t I?”

“Yup!”

Moving out from behind the bike, she looked over to the clubhouse. “Think I might need to go apologise for my part.”

Lee nodded. “Humble pie don’t taste too good, huh, sugar?”

“Pretty damned bitter, buddy.” Lee threw her head back, pushing a soft fist against her shoulder, Emma walking over to the clubhouse. Angel and Bottles were outside, both looking at her with slight scepticism.

“Is this about to be round two? Cuz’ my ears can’t take it,” the former asked, Emma shaking her head.

“Nope, off to extend my apologies. Sorry to you guys, too, having to bear witness to our drama.”

The men shared a sharp head turn in one another’s direction. “Yo, he gotta woman who says she’s sorry? Damn. Where’d I find myself one of those?” Angel announced, Bottles laughing as Emma crouched next to where they were loitering on the steps.

She rested her head on his shoulder, sighing. “You might have one right here if he tells me to go fuck myself.”

Angel snorted, reaching to pat her arm a few times. “He ain’t gonna do that, shut up. If he does, though...” He winked at her with a click of his tongue, Emma laughing, kissing his forehead. She really liked Angel. For all his wise assed bravado, he was actually one of the least threatening of the guys, one she gelled with more than others. Him, Gilly and Bottles were her people, she’d found in the six months she’d been in their lives for at that point.

“Just kick him in the nuts if he starts yelling again, babe,” the latter spoke, Emma shaking her head and standing.

“That isn’t conducive to calming things down.”

Bottles sniffed, turning his head back to grin at her. “No, but it’d make me laugh.” His words made a little bit of the tension she carried melt, turning back to the doors and taking a deep breath before letting herself in.

“I swear to fucking god, if you’re here to scream at me some more,” Guero began, turning from where he was sat at the bar with Bishop and EZ.

“Can we talk?”

He raised his eyebrows. “I can, but you just wanna fucking embarrass the living hell out of me with your yelling, so if it’s more of that, then no.” The two men he was sitting with slowly slinked away, not wanting to be right in the way of things if they blew up for a second time, Emma waiting until they’d retreated.

“I’m sorry,” she began, reaching to stroke his forearms. The muscles stiffened on contact. “I’ve realised I was being a princess about things and not being reasonable. I need to compromise more, I see that now. I’m sorry I yelled at you, too. I love you, let’s get past it.”

“Mm,” he hummed, rolling his tongue around the inside of his mouth, his jaw flexing. “And you need to stop looking at me and seeing that dick who took your life away. I know that’s what you’re doing, and it offends the fuck outta me.” As it would, she thought, since her boyfriend was the very antithesis of Rocco in the way he treated her. “Alright. We’re good.”

He looked and sounded the furthest thing from it. “No, we’re not. It’s written all over your face, how mad you are at me.”

He shrugged with nonchalance. “Maybe that’s for you to deal with.”

Oh, he wasn’t budging. When her man held a grudge, he truly did hang onto it with both hands and every single one of his teeth.

She rolled her eyes, turning away. “Mother fucking Mary, you’re so stubborn.”

Rather than fight against it because she didn’t like it, she decided to leave him to it. He’d calm down in his own time, she figured. Being an adult and accepting that was part of the process of being in a relationship was all she could do. She’d apologised, now it was up to him to either take it on board or need further time to simmer down a little more.

Until then, she had bikes to work on, and outlaws to keep her entertained, especially later that afternoon when she stopped for a break and a cold beer. Angel, Bottles and Downer were her source of relief while she sat studying a Harley Davidson manual, familiarising herself with the set up.

It was while she was reading about the engine configuration that Angel broke her concentration with his request. “You’re fuckin’, you’re... hey yo, Emma! Gimme a fancy word for rude.”

“Impertinent,” she offered, Downer snorting.

“Ain’t that when a dude can’t get his dick up?”

Oh, he was walking right into it. “No, buddy. That’s impotent.”

“Yeah, he’s that, too,” Bottles offered, his face alight with mischief.

Angel laughed hard, swigging his beer. “Ain’t got shit to say to that, huh dog?”

“You wouldn’t be nothin’ without your lil’ blonde dictionary over there! Bitch ass probably didn’t even finish high school!”

“Fuck you, man. I finished!”

“I didn’t, though. Didn’t even go, you know, with the whole kidnapped thing.” All three stared at her in disbelief.

“Then how come you’re so well spoken?” Bottles asked, Emma shrugging.

“I read books. Lots of them.” Just then, she felt a body slide behind hers, two familiar tattooed arms draping around her.

“You know what one of those is, right Angel? Primitive version of Netflix.” After his amusing comment – with Angel not so amused by his sarcasm - Guero then leaned in close to her, tightening his arms and kissing her cheek. “I’m sorry for being a bad-tempered ass, wasn’t all just you, baby.”

Her hands clutched onto his forearms, stroking them as she turned to offer a kiss. “I appreciate that.” Her smile warmed him where he'd been feeling frosty, knowing that for his part, he needed to actually accept when someone was sorry instead of holding onto his grudge; even if that holding had only been for a couple of hours.

As for Emma, she recognised it as an important part of her leading a normal life, not letting her past influence her present. It would be easier said than done, she supposed, not to let it happen, not to immediately think that every objection Guero made was an attempt at control. At least now thanks to Lee’s advice, she could see when she was doing it.

Later that night, they spoke about it, Emma lying at one end of the bathtub, him at the other.

“See I kinda think you’re still pissed at me, giving me the tap end of the tub,” he commented, Emma raising an eyebrow.

“Excuse me, who decided to encroach on who’s bath time?”

She had him there, Guero biting his lip as he pulled a face that made her giggle. “Yeah, alright.” Grabbing one of her feet, he began to rub them for her, a gesture appreciated since she’d been on them all day, running around the yard. “I meant what I said about you seeing me in the same light as that slimy fuck from your past, though. We can disagree without you immediately thinking I’m behaving like him. I get that it’s hard for you, but yeah. Try not to go there, alright?”

“I will. Promise I will, honey,” she vouched. “I have a lot of shit to process, I guess. You’ve been so patient with me, too. I don’t blame you for getting pissed off.”

He shrugged. “I ain’t perfect either, and I say I get it, that you have shit to process, but I guess I never really will truly understand it, what you have to deal with. I’m not pretending I will either, but yeah. I’ll try not to lose my shit and be so bad tempered with you while you do. Speaking of that, I gotta say it! You’re nearly as fucking explosive as I am. It’d be a turn on if it wasn’t directed at me.” He went to bite her toes, Emma snatching her foot away with a squeal. “I gotta new type, apparently. Sparky blondes. Sparky blondes whose feet I’m gonna bite.”

“No!” she squeaked, Guero going for the other foot.

“Yeah? Stop me.”

Half the water in the tub was lost to the pursuit of bitten toes, Emma scream laughing, wrapping her legs around him eventually to prevent his onslaught, giving him a defiant look. “Now what are you going to do, hmm?”

He looked her up and down, eyebrows fluttering suggestively. “You.” He leaned to kiss her, his body covering hers, more of the water sloshing out onto the floor. “Today started bad, let’s end it better, huh?”

It ended a lot better, that was for certain. Even though the bathroom floor resembled that of a swimming pool once they were done.

Later that night, as Guero slept at her side – and quietly for once – Emma lay back and played the day over in her head. While medication had eased her anxiety and worked to relieve her of the nightmares that had plagued her, there was much more work she needed to do on herself. While physically, she was far from Staten Island, mentally she was still there in how she was handling conflict.

Turning to her side, she could just about make out her love from the light filtering through the tiny cracks in the blinds, both too busy enjoying one another some more once they’d made it out of the bathtub to bother closing them properly. He was her safe person, the one who’d literally found her, and the one who’d made her realise he was different to all she knew. She owed it to him to believe that, believe him.

Speaking of Staten Island, while she and Guero slept, not two miles from their location a call came in from a resident of that very New York City borough.

“Ezekiel, Rocco Lombardi.”

Standing up, EZ walked from the clubhouse out into the quiet of the yard to take the call, the cooler night air wisping gently against his face, listening as he continued. “So, it’s been almost a year since our arrangement commenced, and things are running well. I’d like to propose a meet with you and your VP again, discuss something extra I intend to move along with our current consignment.”

There it was. The other shoe Bishop had warned him about – and the same one Emma had spoken of months before - had finally dropped.

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kitchfit · 10 months

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Year in Review: Movies Part 1

I don't have that great of an attention span. If its something I am invested in I can spend hours upon hours reading or playing through it until I get a headache telling me its time for bed, but if something doesn't hook me after around 30 minutes I'm probably turning it off or putting it down for a bit. It is for this reason I don't finish a lot of movies unless there is another reason to watch through it all. Usually that means watching it with other people. If there aren't friends to help me finish this movie it's probably going back in the case, which I think is true for all but one movie on this list.

Glass Onion

Knives Out is one of my favorite movies of all time. I've not read any of Agatha Christie's works which is who Benoit Blanc is largely parodying, but I do love other things inspired by her such as Columbo, and the first movie is a stellar deconstruction of that genre, while still providing an engaging mystery. I saw this movie's baby brother at the dawn of the New Year alongside my cousin, both fervently pushing out trope appropriate theories only to be completely wrong at the twist ending in plain sight.

This sequel is not anything as elegant as the first, but still seeks to deconstruct mystery tropes in a very similar fashion. The mastermind behind a series of murders or even one murder is a role often given to rich, suave, and intelligent people of high standing. It is this role that Edward Norton's character sees himself as, but while he is a rich dude of high standing, he is a more realistic rich dude than most murder mystery antagonists; that is, an arrogant dumbass who got where he is by manipulating and screwing over everyone he can. He wants to be complex while being transparently simple. Also he smells. LIKE AN ONION. WHOA. ONE MADE OUT OF GLASS. THANKS JOHN LEMON.

A Silent Voice

A good way to get me to watch a movie until the end is to make it animated, that way even if its boring as all hell I still get to look at some pretty art. That's not the case with this movie. I first watched this on a bus ride when I was sixteen with one earphone on while the girl next to me held it up on her phone. That was a good memory, but seeing the gorgeous animation on the big screen was a nice treat.

I love the dynamic between the two main characters. I wouldn't say this movie is a romance in any real sense of the term, but is about a relationship. Both of these kids spend most of their adolescence admonishing themselves for hurting the other, believing everyone hates them for what happened when they were 10. This is especially tragic for Shouko, the deaf girl who did literally nothing besides exist and try to make friends. The fact that she blames herself for her bully becoming ostracized is even played as a twist, but its a very realistic mindset anyone can fall into. The theme is forgiveness of the self after others have already forgiven you, which can be pretty tough to do, especially when you've done some genuinely shitty stuff.

I also showed this movie to my mom, an ASL instructor and translator, cause I thought it might be interesting for her, but she lost interest and fell asleep after she realized it was JSL and couldn't understand it.

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish

My friends were freaking out about this film, one of them going so far as to watch it like six separate times within the span of a couple weeks. This made me expect it to blow my mind, but it was just a very well written, beautifully animated movie about a cat coming to terms with its own death. I think the drought of movies with good writing from mainstream studios really elevated this one further than it would have normally. It was nice to return to this character, having grown up with the Shrek films, and doubly nice to see his character arc being used to discuss a serious topic in a healthy way.

The central conflict is the most compelling aspect of the story, the John Mulaney villain and Goldilocks subplot are funny and entertaining, but the effectiveness of Death as the main antagonist is genius. The Shrek universe has always been a conglomeration of fairytales and folktales brought to one setting, and who is most common death metaphor than the big bad wolf? Or I'm sorry. Not a metaphor. He's just Death. Straight up. You don't outrun death or win against it in any meaningful capacity, and the story could only end with Puss' acceptance that he will die. There's no Sisypussing his way out of this one. Pussyphusing? Pfft.

X-Men: First Class

My dad and I decided to watch through every X-Men movie earlier this year. We managed two of them. They're good movies, most of them at least, but marathoning all *looks at watch* eleven films just never came to fruition. This one might be in my top 3 for X-Men movies, though. Xavier and Magneto's relationship has always been the most interesting part of these films, and this movie puts it front and center. Xavier's focus on helping his friend make peace with his traumatic past is something so genuinely sweet that ultimately empowers his greatest enemy. It's this understanding they have with each other, established in this movie, that underlines every interaction they have in the future.

The rest of this movie is pretty standard origin story stuff for the ensemble cast. How the Beast Became Blue. How Mystique Stopped Pretending and Became Her True Blue Self. How the Guy Who's Power is To Never Die, Died. It's fun for what it is but overall pretty generic.

X-Men: Days of Future Past

This is also one of the better X-Men films, not sure if I'd put it in the top 3, but there's enough time travel nonsense in this movie to make me giddy. I love paradoxical bullshit. This movie works as both a direct sequel to First Class, while also working in the continuity of the first 7 or so films. It's the Apocalypse, baby! Okay, not that Apocalypse, I still haven't seen that one, but we are introduced to one of the more famous fascist genocidal hellscapes to come out of Marvel comics. The story starts at the very end of this murderous crusade, only a handful of mutants are still alive, grouped together as a unit in some abandoned... temple bunker? I'm sure this is explained somewhere in the movie, but it makes a cool setting to fight for your life in.

Most of the plot, however, takes place in the 70s. It was a big twist in the comics that the girl who can walk through space without hindrance can also walk through time the same way, but in this movie Kitty Pryde can only send other people into their past selves, meaning it's once again Wolverine's turn to take the spotlight, because Hugh Jackman is more expensive than Elliot Page. It makes less sense, but this movie still has a lot of fun jumping between the past and future versions of established characters. Angry, passionate Magneto in his 30s vs the wizened Sir Ian McKellen Magneto. At some point the X Man himself gets to talk directly to his depressed, 70s incarnation. Not to mention Quicksilver is there, which is always nice.

This was the "Rogue Cut," which adds cut content about Rogue infiltrating a sentry factory to blow it up. The new stuff doesn't add a lot, but I did like her character from earlier films, so it was cool to see her again.

Shrek

After the joy of obsessing over Puss in Boots: The Last Wish, one of my friends insisted that we all catch up on the deep lore of the franchise, and go through every Shrek movie in order. Unlike with X-Men, we succeeded in one marathon through them all. The dude who suggested this also made the assertion that PiB: Wish was the first Shrek film to feature blood and cursing. This is patently false and I took immense pleasure in proving him wrong. *whispers* Shrek says ass within the first twenty minutes, don't tell mom!

The first movie got memed on quite a bit, but I think most people have come around to enjoying it in a genuine sense. It's a cute love story with a good message and funny fard jokes. I don't think the gross-out humor really oversteps in bounds, and it would feel pretty bizarre in hindsight if a movie like Shrek ever toned that stuff down. There were a lot of movies with "fairytales come to life and their rude and goofy," as their premise, (think Hoodwinked, another fun movie) but I think the style of the Shrek world comes off in the most endearing way. Or maybe that's just nostalgia talking.

Shrek 2

I have the soundtrack of this movie embedded into my skull. I had the CD growing up and would make my mom play it in the car on the way to primary school ad nauseum. I also had the entire movie with incredibly compressed graphics on my GBA. This classic film is synonymous with my early childhood, and it holds up really well. It's shorter than I remembered, but I think that's just because it's so expertly paced.

It also introduces our favorite fearless hero, who blends effortlessly into the main cast. All of the character's play off of each other really well, actually. The gags of a royal knight planting catnip on Puss or Gingy yelling "IT'S A THONG" to get Pinocchio to lie still get me. Not to mention the perfect fight scene scored by "I Need a Hero." Every studio with rights to that song have been chasing that high ever since.

Shrek the Third

Some people hate this movie with genuine vile and malice in their hearts. Maybe that's harsh. It definitely doesn't match the highs of either of the first two, but I still enjoyed it a lot as a kid and had a good time with it now. My friend noted that the first half of this film has a lot of funny gags that peter out in the second half, where the focus is on Shrek's complicated feelings on fatherhood. There are moments in the movie where I can tell it can't decide whether to write a scene with appropriate drama or make a stupid joke, which is odd as the first one balanced those aspects pretty elegantly.

This movie does have a sequence where the classic fairytale princesses learn martial arts from Julie Andrews and kick the bark covered asses of the trees from Wizard of Oz, all to the beat of Barracuda. Disney could never. I also like that Prince Charming takes a more central role as antagonist in the story this time around, which feels very appropriate for the setting. Justin Timberlake is here too I guess. Damn, I forgot about him. Sorry Justin.

Shrek the Final Chapter

This movie came out when I believed myself toooo olllllllld and MATURE for silly animated movies with farting in them. I had grown, and was ready for stuff like *looks at movies that came out 2010* MEGAMIND, an even sillier animated movie with still probably several fart jokes. I had a bunch of reasons for disliking this one when it came out, but I don't really recall any of them. This movie is pretty wild upon revisiting. Shrek pulls a It's a Wonderful Life with Rumpelstiltskin and is pulled into an alternate universe fanfiction where he never existed, joins an Ogre resistance and tries to get his wife to fall in love with him again. It's such a goofy premise with some fairly well constructed dramatic moments. It's also very good 3D animation for its time, which might be consistent with the rest of the series.

There's a scene where Rumpelstiltskin jumps off a ledge and makes a weird noise that I cannot for the life of me find on youtube, but it sticks in my brain for some reason. He's a pretty fun villain, overall, all of his scenes made me laugh. I think we watched the other Puss in Boots movie after this, but I fell asleep. Sorry Justin.

Ghostbusters: Afterlife

This franchise got reimagined with a new cast a few years ago, and for some reason became a controversial focus of American politics for several weeks. I mean not for some reason, it was really just sexism. Women? Fighting ghosts??? Only men fight ghosts in real life, everyone knows that. This movie, on the other hand, is a direct sequel to the original film and also didn't come out during an election year, so even though Girls do be Fighting Ghosts in this one, there was less outrage around it. It's a fun homage to the original, but doesn't acknowledge the original Ghostbusters 2 in the least, and that movie genuinely freaked me out as a kid with its pink slime that kills you.

The film focuses on the very autistic granddaughter of the late and famously autistic member of the original cast, Egon. She's a delightful protagonist throughout the story, working with the ghost of her grandfather to uncover the truth behind the natural disasters plaguing her Podunk town. There are also some fun new ghost designs our child heroes have to overcome. The supporting cast is serviceable, mostly focused around Finn Wolfhard and Paul Rudd's eternal struggle to get dates before the world is eaten by Gozer, or whoever. There's a lot of nostalgia bait in this movie. The OG Ghostbusters even make a Deus Ex Machina style cameo, saving Baby Egon at the last moment aside a CGI Harold Ramis that did get me to tear up a little. This whole movie was dedicated to him, which is sweet.

Kingdom Hearts: Back Cover

Remember when I said I was done talking about Kingdom Hearts for this year? No? You haven't been reading these? That's okay, I was lying anyway. As part of my full bodily integration into this series, I watched the entirety of the KH Union X Cutscenes interspersed with clips from the Back Cover movie in order of the proper timeline of events. This is probably the sanest way to experience this story. The original has you play a mobile game where you are updated on the plot every ten or so boring ass missions and then watch the movie as a companion piece. It's a pretty engaging narrative by KH standards, but its told in the most batshit way possible, which I guess is also up to KH standards. You can watch it here, if the embeds work:

youtube

The first part of this story focuses on a member of the Keyblade Guilds, who is slowly encroaching upon the reality that the organization they're apart of is tearing itself apart. All of the Guild Masters are in conflict over a potential traitor, and this suspicion eventually spirals into an entire war. The Master of these Masters, or MoM, is largely implied to have orchestrated the entire event. The second half focuses on the fallout from that war as the surviving Guild members try to escape the end of the world.

I got pretty attached to several of the characters and their ultimate fate, but I think this could have worked better as a TV show rather than a REALLY BORING MOBILE GAME. I guess you can watch it as a TV show, if you watch the video above in 30 minute chunks, and if you're okay with beautiful 3D animated cutscenes transitioning into kind of stale sprite art at random.

Alright ending this here. I didn't finish this on Friday as I had some other Things going on, so we're in for a double feature! Hopefully, I'll continue on the games list which will be out this evening. I'm writing these ahead of time so who knows???

#movies #film #review #glass onion #puss in boots #the last wish #a silent voice #x men #first class #days of future past #shrek #ghostbusters #afterlife #kingdom hearts #back cover #union x #my post #Youtube

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marypsue · 2 years

Note

I just realized that perhaps the samples we’ve seen the least are the Groundhog Day trio fic! Would you have samples to share now that it’s trucking towards completion? I’m excited to see it and I love a little tragedy and doomed hero’s that are also kind RadioShack employees!!

Anon I'm pinching your cheek like an overly affectionate aunt. Thank you for asking, and of course I have samples to share! Have a goof that's totally representative of the tone of the entire thing there is no angst and absolutely no horrific deaths in this fic no sir not a one

...

The man, it turns out, is named Murray Bauman. He’s a private investigator, in town looking into the events of last November. He has a laughably patchy version of things, compared to what Bob now knows really happened. And he’s apparently been harassing Jim Hopper to look into it, to no avail, for weeks.

He does not seem to have anything helpful to offer on the monster hunting front. Doesn’t even know there are monsters. Bob feels a little foolish for having wasted so much time on a dead end.

“Did you see the kid?” Murray asks, over his fourth cup of terrible diner coffee. He’s practically vibrating. “Or know somebody who did?”

“Sorry,” Bob says. “Can’t help you.”

Murray’s eyes narrow shrewdly behind his glasses. “That’s not a no.”

Bob looks the man in the eye, and makes an executive decision. “Not me. My – the woman I’m seeing now. And her – friend. They met a kid like that, last year.”

There’s a hungry gleam in Murray’s eye as he leans forward, resting his arms with both hands clasped against the sticky Formica of the tabletop. “Names?”

Bob shakes his head no. “But I’ll tell you this, that kid’s not dangerous. I don’t know who’s been telling you she’s a Russian spy, but they’re wrong.”

“You sound pretty sure of that, for somebody who never met the kid.”

Bob shrugs. “Those two have pretty good judgment.” He thinks about that for half a second, and adds, “Most of the time. About people, anyway. I trust them. And I don’t think they’d lie to me.” Except for the part where they both had, for almost a year. But state secrets don’t really count.

Murray studies his face for a long moment.

“She must be a real knockout,” he says, finally, with a smugly knowing look that Bob doesn’t like at all. “This woman you’re seeing.”

“I’ve known her since high school,” Bob says, not really liking the implication any more than the look. “She’s not a Russian spy, either.”

“Sure. Sure. And her friend wouldn’t happen to have a thick accent and an unusually close relationship with her, either. And she wouldn’t happen to be washing her hair, or having a headache, suspiciously often…?”

“I think this conversation’s over,” Bob says, pushing back his chair.

“Hey, Red Sonja there might not only be using you to provide cover,” Murray offers. He ruins it a second later by saying, “You might both be Russian spies. I don’t know you from Adam. Although, believe me, I will be doing my homework as soon as this conversation’s over.” His eyes narrow, again, and he adds, a little too deliberately to be as conversational as it’s clearly meant to sound, “And denial’s not a good look on you. At least you’re not so gone that you can’t tell she is a little too close with this…‘friend’.”

“He’s not a Russian spy, either,” Bob protests, feeling a little like he’s lost the thread of this conversation. “What does any of this have to do with last November?”

Unsurprisingly, Murray ignores that part completely. “ ‘He’, huh. Well well, what a surprise.” His triumphant grin is quickly tempered by suspicion. “But you’re still trusting them both? Enough to defend her. And parrot what they told you about this kid to me. So either they don’t exist and you just want some plausible deniability, which would be more likely if you didn’t make the story so unnecessarily convoluted and get so defensive about it, or you’re the poorest deluded S.O.B. this side of Siberia. Or…”

Bob stands, pushing his chair in under the table. This has been one colossal waste of time. “I really don’t see how my love life is relevant to your investigation. Or any of your business. Good day, Mr. Bauman.”

“Hey, on the off chance you’re actually not the patsy for some Mata Hari type,” Murray calls after Bob, as he starts to leave, “sounds to me like you and this woman both need to get over yourselves and ask this friend of hers for a threesome. If you haven’t already.”

Bob hurries out into the November chill with his face burning. He’s really not sure which is harder to handle: the mental image of Joyce as some Mata Hari type, or the whole idea of asking Jim for a threesome.

Jim, Bob decides, has had the right idea refusing to give Murray Bauman the time of day. If their paths ever cross again, Bob’s giving the man a wide, wide berth.

#chatter #this is mary's fic tag #stranger things #i WILL make you all read my joyce/bob/hopper rareship fic and you WILL like it

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dopaminergicaddictions · 7 months

Text

3/12/24

11:13 p.m Updated

So I made it to my testosterone shot thankfully, as yesterday I was 10 minutes late to my doctor appt and they made me reschedule. If I lose my primary care I'm going to have so many issues between my insomnia script and my biweekly testosterone shot. I'm really thankful I got there with 5 minutes to spare.

I also lost track of time yesterday bc I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off and I was 20 minutes late to my appt with Mike... he texted me and offered me 6:30 after I didn't show up for 6. I showed up at 6:27 and he didn't show up... I waited 27 minutes... either way today I made my obligations. I met with Mike too for the first time in like a month. After yesterday him leaving me hanging and pretending not to get my texts. I prob shouldn't see him but what am I supposed to do? Danielle was all about countertransference.... and finding a therapist as a transguy is tough. I write it in my emails and I can send 10 and only one person responds to me so whatever, it is what it is.

I called Eye Doctors around town and 2 out of 3 said they measure each eye individually. The other said both at the sametime. I called my eye doctor, I lied and said I got their script from an online eye wear place and I got headaches... I said it could either be the script or that the glasses were made incorrectly. Luckily my insurnace will cover a retest within 30 days of getting your script. I'm scheduled for the 19th and I will make sure they do both eyes separately before I take my ray bans off hold. And I'll update the script with the accurate test results. For now I'll just wear my distance glasses. I'm going to keep them bc of the shape and style for gaming and driving... if I got them updated as progressives they would be 304$ cause they won't let you pick clear lenses in this frame, you got to pick transitions and the most expensive one... it's ridiculous cause I love these frames... so my ray bans will be progressive pending my new test on Tuesday....

I worked on a few things I've been putting off, I called my capture card place and gamestop. The capture card place will replace it refurbished but only give me a month warranty as I am officially out of warranty but I called in December and it saved my ass. I called game stop and my warranty for the same capture card ended March 9th. Psychosis and my circadian rhythm make accomplishing things very difficult.... The manager at gamestop sent an email to try to remedy the situation as I went in store in December and tried to replace it or get a refund. I have a 2 year warranty that just expired. I explained that I have psychosis and I've been having issues getting stuff done. He is going to try to replace it or give me my 79$ back.. it would be more ideal... as a refurbished with a month warranty isn't ideal... but I have one of two options. I have to wait until Monday to hear back from Gamestop before I make the decision to either send it back to EVGA or accept whatever gamestop will give me.

I had months to call and I couldn't cause I'm always overwhelmed and stressed because I have to simulate my auditory cortex with pod casts or mindless TV like The Simpsons with heavy dialogue just to not hear the voice. I used to work in silence... like to focus I would sit in complete silence and do my stuff. Now I must always have constant chatter on in the background to avoid hearing the voice... hearing how repetitive it is drives me crazy. However listening to mindless chatter in the background even as I write this drives me crazy cause I can't focus the way I want to.

Not to mention I have constant doctor appts and a fucked circadian rhythm. I generally have 1 hours and 30 minutes a day with the time I wake up... and if a doctors appt is during that time which i have therapy 3 days a week. It gives me like 20 minutes to call a place.

I really want to kill myself after reading about recovery rates. I'm considered in remission... "Remission" is defined as symptomatic but functioning in a social/occupational/taking care of yourself type of way. Basically it's someone who hallucinates, but is firmly gripped in reality. You can't be delusional... and you have to be able to take care of yourself, shower, eat, cook, shop, drive, make appts, have fulfilling social relationships, have a job etc...

I don't have a job and likely never will. If I could stop having ocd I'd work with kids. I'd be able to do it with the voice. I can't with my ocd and psychosis. Either way I am in remission as I meet all criteria.

Remission is depressing and when you look at graphs, a lot of people are in Remission...

Recovery is a different beast.. it's having no symptoms. When you look at these charts, my percentage of actually not hallucinating one day is about 24% in 6 months, 26% in 12 months, 39% in 24 months. It doesn't seem promising.

I have "fulfilling" relationships. It's funny. When you have friends and you're single, you feel more alone. Hanging out with Charlotte Saturday, Marcy after Charlotte left (cause I didn't get a real birthday party), hanging out with John Monday over mic playing FC4 was not fulfilling. I hallucinated much less but I felt alone. They all have partners. I'm lacking companionship. I'm lacking someone to hug, hold hands with, share all my most intimate secrets with, someone to trust to have always be there for me.

I've been in support groups for voice hearers and everyone is more crazy than me. Everyone has schizophrenia and schizoaffective, etc. They see more, hear more and are all on antipsychotics.. most have tardive dsykinesia. No one is like me. I'm the odd one out who has to be sensitive about antipsychotics bc everyone is on them. Everyone is eccentric. I feel like I don't belong.

I feel like I don't belong anywhere. I feel like my chance to recover could take anywhere from 3 years to 10 years and I may never not hallucinate.... it may be that I am in remission for the rest of my life... I will never take antipsychotics I don't want negative symptoms, movement disorders, seizures, and I don't want to have 30% of my life shortened....

So here I stand, in remission. Wondering if full recovery is possible when I feel so fucking unfulfilled with everything I have in my life. No one likes my face enough on these dating apps to even get to know me..

As i talked to John. Marcy. Charlotte I felt this hollowing aloneness. I'm not like you. You have fulfillment. You don't have secrets that will make sure no one ever loves you or stays. You're not like me.

Until I find a partner I'm going to feel this way. Which I likely won't.

Until I actually recover I will never feel at peace. If Kristen keeps her license I'm actually going to commit suicide.

If Kristen does lose her license if my life doesn't get more fulfilling I'm going to kill myself.

I don't think there is any point in fighting. Yet I keep doing it and idk why.

All I know is I have to report Kristen before I end my life. She doesn't get to take mine without at least having a red mark on her perfect record.

Antipsychotics aren't even considered on this chart cause 99.99% take them... and I won't. But yea it's pretty disappointing. I'm depressed and I don't see much of a point in trying. I got to at least submit my paperwork before I do it.

I don't believe in soulmates. I don't believe there is someone out there for me. I don't believe I'll be anything or even have a somewhat satisfying relationship with anyone.

Once I get news of kristen license I'm ending my life. Especially if she gets to keep it. But idk how many more disappointing months I can live like this. I've talked to 2 people who had thc induced psychosis who didn't take antipsychotics they heard a voice the whole time and recovered within 1 year and 6 months that's all I got for research from people like me.

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rankertopgoogle · 2 years

Text

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randomcatwhowantshugs · 2 years

Text

i keep forgetting tumblr exists, its weird ig.

#im so forgetful #i also lost my glasses for two weeks so i have headache #but i got some yesterday so its slowly going #yay?

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madamevirgo · 3 years

Text

The Start Of Us

Pairing: Scarlett Johansson x reader

Summary: You’re a marketing intern for The Outset and you catch the eye of one Scarlett Johansson.

Warnings: none?

Words: 2051

A/N: The Outset inspired story you didn’t know you needed. Welcome to my first published series! I sat down yesterday feeling inspired and wrote about 5 chapters - nevermind the 4 assignments I have due this Friday, lol. The goal is to have 10-12 parts to this story and publish a chapter weekly. This will allow me to have at least two chapters sitting in my drafts in case I get too busy or lack inspiration. All the parts are around 2-3k words. I will also be posting this on my wattpad, so follow me there to get notified when I post (@Bellice15), or you can follow my personal hashtag ‘#MadameVirgoWrites’ to keep up with my updates on here. I don’t think it’s necessary for me to have a taglist at this point of my writing journey, and still need to make a masterlist. As always, feedback is great motivation and if you have any ideas of things you’d like to see in this story, comment them so I can be inspired. Happy reading!

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

As a college student, it was hard to decide when the worst time of the year was; but right now, if I had to pick one, it would have to be the period between spring and summer break. That moment where you spend your time either looking for internships or student jobs and struggling to keep up with your assignments and exams; the countless hours spent on LinkedIn and with your nose in the books, questioning if you made the right career choice. I had lost count of how many cover letters I had written and how many organizations I had sent my resume to. Eventually, I had stopped being picky and simply started applying to things I was remotely qualified for.

Beggars can’t be choosers, the saying goes. Job searching was a very humbling experience. It was a Friday night, around 11 pm. The rest of my friends would be several vodka shots deep by now, but here I was, sitting in front of my computer. A headache was starting to form itself, either from the stress, exhaustion or the blue light of my computer screen to which I had been exposed for 12 consecutive hours today. If I had to guess, I would say all three. I was close to giving up, resigning myself to the fact that I’d probably have to work an unsavoury retail job this summer - if I even got that lucky - when suddenly my laptop chimed with an incoming email.

Dear Y/n L/n,

After reviewing multiple applicants over the last few weeks, we are pleased to inform you that your portfolio has stood out to us the most. We would like to invite you to an in-person interview and further discuss the position of ‘paid marketing intern’ with you in the following week. Please reply to this email with your availability.

We look forward to meeting you,

Kate Foster Lengyel

Co-Founder & CEO of ‘The Outset’

I re-read the email a few times to make sure it wasn’t a fragment of my imagination. To be fair, I didn’t remember applying for this position or company. But reading the onboarding kit, it seemed like the internship of my dreams, although the website explained that it was a new company which left me a bit hesitant. This wouldn’t be the first time I fell for a scam like that. Sending a silent prayer to the universe, I emailed back.

--------------------------------

A week later, the uber dropped me off in front of a large three-storey modern warehouse in the business district. Taking a deep breath, I stepped into the building. Although the outside was beautiful, the inside was magical. The glass windows allowed the light to flow beautifully inside the building. The decor allowed minimalism and comfort to blend comfortably, and the soft music playing in the background seemed to harmonize perfectly with the sound of people talking and walking around. I was so in awe that I didn’t see a blond woman with a friendly smile approaching me.

“Hi! You seem a bit lost. Can I help you, dear?” I looked in the direction where the voice had come from, and I felt heat rushing to my face.

“Oh, uh yeah. Sorry. I have a meeting with Kate Foster Lengyel? It’s about the marketing intern position.” her eyes seemed to light up at that and her smile brightened if that was even possible. I breathed a sigh of relief.

“Y/n L/n?” I nodded at that. “I’m Kate Foster! I’m so glad you could make it, please follow me, dear.” I nodded and followed her up to the third level into an office that seemed to overlook the entire warehouse. Once I was seated, she offered me a drink which I refused. I was too nervous to accept and didn’t want to risk emptying the content of my stomach in front of my potential employer.

“You seem nervous dear. There’s no need to be. Scarlett and I both went over your application and you stood out to us. The job is already yours, to be frank, we simply wanted to have you over as a formality and to make things official by signing some papers.” she explained while she sipped on her coffee. I nodded before something she said stood out to me.

“Scarlett?” I said in confusion.

“What do you know about our company, Y/n?” she asked after a moment of hesitation. I didn’t know much to be honest. When I received the email asking for a meeting I briefly looked over the website and what the requirements of my role were. I told her as such. “Well, to explain quickly, the idea of The Outset came to Scarlett and me during the pandemic and we pretty much created it during that time, through FedEx and lots of Zoom calls. We, as in, me and Scarlett Johansson,” she said this and looked carefully for a reaction on my part.

Of course, I knew who Scarlett Johansson was. I wasn’t much of a Marvel fan myself but I’ve seen all of the movies and some of her other projects. I was admirative of her work but I wouldn’t go as far as calling myself a fan.

“If you're worried about me being a crazy fan, let me put you at ease right now, Ms. Foster. I will be nothing but professional during my time here.” I was quick to reassure her. Satisfied with my answer, we proceeded with the meeting. She guided me through some contracts that I signed and explained or clarified some things.

“So that concludes the boring part. You’ll be working with the marketing team, under the supervision of our Marketing Coordinator - Lily, and reporting directly to her. I can introduce you since we’re done here. We launched yesterday, so we’re pretty busy - which means lots of work for you. Things have been crazy and we only expect it to get worse, which is a good thing. Of course, if you need anything, we’re all a big family and anyone will be able to help you. And here is the marketing department!” She pushes a glass sliding door and I am met with a vast space with lots of desktops placed in different corners of the office space that was easily 8 times the size of my one-bedroom apartment. In the center of the office was a room which was surrounded by glass doors - it appeared to be the meeting room as I could see people sitting in there while a woman was presenting something. She seemed to be done however as they all got up and left. Kate caught her eyes and she made her way towards us with a smile.

“Hi Kate, who’s your friend?” she asked, looking at me curiously.

“This is your new marketing intern, Y/n L/n. Y/n this is Lily, our marketing coordinator and your supervisor. I’ll leave you in her capable hands so she can show you around. I’ll see you Monday morning, yeah?” she waved and then she was gone. As today was Friday, we had agreed that I would start Monday morning, this would give me enough time to go over anything Lily would need me to know.

“I’m really happy to have you with us Y/n. Come on, I’ll get you acquainted with our side of the office before we get into the boring stuff. You can tell me about yourself while I show you around.”

-------------------------------------------

Lily showed me around the warehouse just so I could get familiarized with the different departments in case I needed to interact with them. She mostly focused on our side of things, though. She showed me the company’s cafeteria which was located on the first floor of the building while our department was on the second. The entire building was very modern and vast. I also got to know Lily well and it seemed like we would get along fabulously. She had graduated from my college with the same degree I was pursuing. She is also only a few years older than me - 25 to my 21 years old.

I left the office with lots of paperwork to prepare me for the upcoming week and felt incredibly grateful. I spent the weekend working over said paperwork and getting familiar with the projects we were working on and events for the coming weeks. I would be shadowing Lily while doing tasks for anyone from the marketing team who needed it. By the time Monday came, I felt prepared, albeit a bit nervous. Although this was an internship and not much was expected from me other than to learn fast and execute tasks even faster, I wanted to prove my worth. I was doing some market research when I heard a knock on my door, I looked up to see Lily.

“Hey! The car is here to take us to the photoshoot. Once you wrap up here, we can leave.” I told her I’d only be second and she nodded before leaving. I quickly packed the company-issued iPad and grabbed my bag before making my way to the car.

“So everything was in the folder I sent you, but basically, we’re meeting Scarlett on site and making sure the photoshoot and interview follow the vision we have for the brand. We’ll also be taking some content, so there's that. Any questions?”

“How can I be as effective as possible during and after?”

“Just have the project folder on hand so you can make sure we’re on track and take notes on what’s happening. You’ll be making a report for the end of the week. Try to be as detailed as possible and don’t be afraid to voice any concerns or ideas you may have.” she hesitated for a second before looking at me. “Have you met Scarlett before?” She asked, making me giggle.

“If you’re worried about me freaking out, I won’t. What is she like?” I wanted to know just so I could be prepared if she were an airhead and blur of designer and arrogance.

“She’s cool and laid back. Not at all a diva since I know you’re wondering. But I guess you’ll see for yourself. You’re a better person than me, it took some time for me to get over the fact that I was working with THE Black Widow. Come on, we’re here.” We quickly got out of the vehicle. We were early so we could go over some things with the videographer and other people on the project. Once Scarlett was ready we began the real work.

Watching her in action was a different kind of experience. It was even better than seeing her on the big screen, and I finally understood why she was so loved and admired by so many across the world. I didn’t interact with her directly, but I could see how she behaved with the technicians and people around her. Always with a smile on her face, quick to laugh and make others laugh. She was easy to work with and in turn, that made everyone’s job easier and more enjoyable. I did my work and would alert Lily of any issues or points that were missing or not done correctly. By the time 3 pm rolled around, we were wrapping up and getting ready to leave.

“Great work today Y/n, I’m impressed,” said Lily, before squeezing my shoulder.

“Lily!” we both turned at that to see the woman of the hour (when wasn’t she) approaching us.

“Scar! Hey! You were fantastic.” she said, pulling her into a hug.

“Thanks, honey. Who’s this?” she directed her attention at me and I felt heat rush up to my face.

“This is Y/n L/n our new marketing intern. Y/n you know our co-founder and CEO, Scarlett.” Scarlett and I shook hands, but we quickly broke contact when we felt static shock.

“What an electric meeting. Glad to have you join the family Y/n. Your application stood out to Kate and me.” She said kindly, making me smile shyly before thanking her. I was pulled away by a technician and quickly excused myself. Although I was happy that people were already relying on me, I couldn’t help but feel saddened by being pulled away from Scarlett.

Part 2

Join this series’ Taglist

#scarlett johansson x reader #Scarlett Johansson #black widow x reader #Black Widow #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #MadameVirgoWrites #the outset #the start of us - SJ

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opalesense · 3 years

Note

um um hiii! im like literally in l o v e with ur writing, especially the diluc and kaeya stories (im such a simp omg) and was wondering if you could do some more diluc x reader x kaeya nsfw—

ofc you can ignore this but ty if you consider it!! stay hydrated and safe ily <3

over the counter

diluc x f!reader x kaeya (NSFW)

6.5k words • ~40 min. read

summary: after a tense night at the tavern, kaeya accidentally forgets his belongings and comes back to see you and diluc having an intimate moment – or maybe it wasn’t an accident...

warnings: slight degradation, a lot of jealousy!! drama!!

notes: reader is in a relationship with diluc beforehand just to switch things up a little from my last fic! also this fic favors diluc a lot more so diluc simps come get your juice ;D thanks for waiting anon ily too <3 i’m so sorry this took so long T_T

SPENDING WEEKEND NIGHTS AT THE TAVERN was not uncommon for you. In fact, whether you were in the mood to drink or not, one of the main reasons you frequently visited the bar was to keep Diluc company, who greatly appreciated the effort you put into making sure he didn’t feel alone while he worked. Evenings with the two of you were often spent idly chatting while he served drinks, which surely kept his spirits up throughout the longer and busier nights. Customers usually commented about how Diluc always seemed to have a grin on his face when you were around, unlike some other nights where his deadpan expression often intimidated the people of Mondstadt and subsequently intimidated the customers themselves.

That didn’t stop business from booming, of course. As long as the alcohol was good and quickly served, customers couldn’t care less about how intimidating Diluc could be. Neither would they care about how he would sneak some free drinks to your seat across the bar if you asked for it, or how he would shyly rest his hand on top of yours if the night was slow and no one was paying attention.

In the end, on weekend nights when you were sitting in your favorite seat at the bar that was conveniently never taken no matter how busy the night was (or maybe not so convenient, since Diluc always made sure to secretly reserve it when the weekend rolled around), people knew never to bother the two of you. After all, on nights when Diluc was happy, he gave spectacular service to bargoers, who decidedly took advantage of this hospitality and thus visited Angels Share more often knowing the atmosphere was better if you were there.

But of course, as soon as a certain blue haired customer walked into the establishment to take his long awaited night off of the week, Diluc couldn’t help but shake his head at you and sarcastically remark, “Well, here comes trouble...”

“What, are you not happy to see me, brother?” After placing his belongings down, Kaeya took his seat next to you and shot you a friendly grin to briefly acknowledge your presence. “I’ve been coming here after work almost every night for so long – have you finally gotten tired of me already?”

Diluc rolled his eyes and began making a Death After Noon for his brother, already knowing the specific bittersweet flavor he likes without Kaeya needing to ask. “Come to think of it, it’s about time I take off that family discount of yours, I’ve been too nice to you these past months.”

Kaeya crossed his arms as he leaned forward on the counter with a scoff. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I need financial compensation for the headache that you induce whenever you’re in the same vicinity as me,” Diluc joked as he finished making the drink then set it in front of Kaeya, who took the glass with a pout and turned to face you.

“You hear this guy? Financial compensation... as if he needs it, being the richest jerk in all of Mondstadt to date.”

“Watch your tone, idiot,” Diluc snapped back as he turned to serve another awaiting customer.

There was no doubt that the two seemed to get along quite well as of late. At first it was almost as if they were both trying to impress you by showing you that they could be nice to each other as per your request, but as time passed, competition turned into a slow realization of having genuine concern for each other, and the brothers have been on the road to reconciliation ever since. Even when Diluc ended up being the one to completely sweep you off your feet and steal your heart, Kaeya never showed any opposition and even encouraged your relationship. “Despite everything, you truly deserve her, ‘Luc,” you overheard him reassure Diluc months ago after admitting defeat in their competition.

There was no doubt that you loved Diluc more than anything. He provided you with everything you could ever ask for, from emotional support and material things to overwhelming satisfaction in the bedroom. But at the back of your mind, especially on slightly tipsy nights such as this one, lies a certain lingering thought about that certain blue haired brother. Was it so bad to fantasize about being pressed between the two? Was it so bad to imagine the feeling of being fondled and manhandled by both of them at the same time? Was it so bad to be at least curious about being shared between the two?

You took a sip of your free drink as you stared blankly at the dents on the wooden counter.

Maybe it is bad, you thought.

After all, if Diluc mentioned that he wanted a threesome with someone else, you wouldn’t exactly be ecstatic about it.

That’s why you would never mention these fantasies to either of them, despite trusting them both with all of your secrets after being close with them for so long. You were scared of how Diluc would react to your curiosity. You were scared he would get the wrong impression and that your relationship would come tumbling down as a consequence of your little fantasy.

Maybe it is bad.

Your thoughts were interrupted by Kaeya snapping his fingers in front of your face. His head was tilted to the side as if he were trying to meet your downturned gaze. “Hey. Did I lose you? What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

“I was just lost in thought,” you ignored the subtle compliment and averted your eyes from the counter to look at Kaeya’s face, the shadows of the dimly lit tavern casting on him at the perfect angle to show off his features. You had to admit he was handsome - hell, all of Mondstadt surely thought so too. You glanced around nervously looking for Diluc to see a glimpse of his fiery hair heading up the stairs to the second floor, presumably to serve a table. He was understaffed today, you remember him saying.

“What were we talking about again?” you asked Kaeya, a little dazed and confused, overwhelmed by the reality of the moment. The clinking of glasses throughout the tavern, the bard playing the lyre in the corner, and the large group of rowdy men at a nearby table flooded your senses, leaving you a bit dizzy with no help at all from the alcohol. He simply laughed, gazing down as he swirled his own drink in his glass then met your eyes once more.

“I was asking how you and Diluc have been,” his sharp stare contrasted with his soft grin as the currently sober man turned his stool to completely face you. There was intention in his eyes, but you couldn’t exactly pinpoint what those intentions were. “I know he doesn’t like to catch up with small talk so I don’t like to bother asking him about what’s new.”

With the heel of your boot you decided to turn your stool to face him as well. Your knees were less than an inch away from touching his, which made you internally flustered given the fantasy you were just thinking about. You tried your best to keep your eyes on his face, ignoring his exposed skin just under his neck. He tilted his head back and took a sip of his drink then continued. “Besides, I enjoy talking to you more than him anyway.”

You could see right through him in this moment. Or at least, you thought you could. Maybe you were overthinking it, but you swore you could see his sapphire eyes slowly trail from your eyes down your body all the way to your grazing knees then dart back up again.

Maybe it was bad. Maybe it was the lighting.

“We’ve been doing good,” you nodded, studying his face more. “He’s been a lot happier recently since the two of you have been getting along more. Don’t tell him I told you that, though,” you leaned in slightly with a wink.

Kaeya let out a low chuckle at that and looked down at his glass again, taking a moment to form his next words. With a nod, he let out a sigh of relief. “That’s great. You’ve been looking a lot happier too, I can tell.”

“Oh? How exactly can you tell? We haven’t seen each other in a while,” you crossed your legs, feeling defensive, which accidentally brushed his in the process. You quietly apologized and he slightly lifted his hand up to excuse you.

“Oh, it’s nothing too crazy. It’s just the glow in your face and the pep in your step when I see you on the streets while I’m out patrolling. Seems like Diluc’s got one happy girl,” he tilted his head back for another sip, and for a moment, you saw his genial smile drop as he set his glass back down on the counter. But as quickly as he let go of his façade , he quickly masked his intentions again with a chuckle.

He seemed a little jealous, you thought. But before you could fully form a thought around that idea, Diluc came back with a tray in hand, empty glasses and mugs balancing on top of his palm. He carefully placed each of them into the sink and got to work on washing then drying them.

“How have you been, Kaeya?” he said with his back turned towards you both, “You weren’t flirting with my [Y/N] while I was gone, were you?”

“How could I do such a thing?” Kaeya huffed, seemingly offended. “Put some more faith in me, brother.”

Diluc turned around with a glass in hand, drying it with a rag and initially focusing his attention on Kaeya. You watched as the two stared at each other across the bar for a few moments, the air suddenly getting thicker as they both emanated a strange seriousness, almost as if they were arguing telepathically. Diluc’s intense stare burned into Kaeya’s cold expression, his arms tensing up so much that you thought he was going to break the glass in his hands. It was a little scary to witness how quickly the mood could change in only a few minutes, and feeling a little uncomfortable, you decided to stand up and make your way to the second floor balcony for some fresh air, away from the loud atmosphere of the main room and even further away from whatever random feud the brothers sparked up tonight.

The crisp air was meditative. It was soothing to stand on the balcony, leaning over the rail and staring into the night sky, letting your mind wander. Your days were often bustling with work and interacting with people so it was very rare to have a moment like this to yourself. At first, you figured it would be best to go back downstairs – after all, it had been a week since you’ve talked to Kaeya and it would be nice to catch up with your friend. But you weren’t sure why the mood was suddenly so tense, especially since nothing had really happened and as much as you knew how Diluc was protective over you, you felt like he was overreacting.

As you took slow sips of your drink, savoring the taste and gazing upon the night life of Mondstadt below, seconds turned into minutes, then minutes turned into an hours, and soon the moon had settled into the midnight sky and the tavern was nearing its closing time. You hadn’t realized that so much time had passed until Kaeya, who was usually the last customer to leave the tavern, whistled towards you from below as he was walking home, waving to get your attention then finally turning away and bidding farewell.

“Darling,” you heard a familiar voice behind you as you were waving back to Kaeya, “Did I do something to upset you?”

You turned to see a clearly apologetic Diluc standing in the balcony doorway, his arms crossed and hair messily thrown up into a ponytail. “Why didn’t you come back inside? We were waiting for you,” he quietly asked as he slowly approached you.

He placed his hands on your waist and pressed his forehead against yours while rubbing small circles into your sides with his thumbs. You pressed a soft kiss to his lips which he gladly returned with several more gentle kisses across your face, humming slowly and patiently waiting for your response.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Diluc. I really just needed some fresh air. I’ve felt a little overwhelmed all night and didn’t notice how much time passed,” you muttered.

You were telling half the truth.

You didn’t want to admit that you thought Diluc was being a little overdramatic, and you certainly didn’t want to tell him that you were overwhelmed with the thought of being touched by him and his brother at the same time. Some things are better left unsaid.

Maybe that was bad. Maybe white lies were okay, only for now.

He pressed one last kiss to your forehead before nodding as he processed your words. “Let’s get you warmed up back inside, you must have been freezing out here.”

“I didn’t think this is what you meant by getting warmed up,” you softly giggled in between passionate kisses as his bare, warm hands traveled up your top to eventually pull the entire damned thing off. He tossed it off to the side mindlessly before unbuttoning his own uniform top and letting it drape next to yours over the bar stool it landed on.

“I’ve had a long night,” he trailed the kisses down to your neck, gently biting enough to only leave subtle marks and murmuring against your skin. He lifted you up onto the counter to get better leverage over you, slowly spreading your legs apart then continuing the kisses down your collarbone. “And you look so beautiful tonight, I can’t help myself.”

“Just make it quick, okay?” you nervously looked at the window behind him which allowed the moonlight to illuminate the already darkened bar but also allowed anyone who felt like peering in to clearly see the two of you getting touchy in the tavern. You let him press up against you regardless, feeling his bulge grind against your clothed hips desperately. “What if someone sees?” you whispered, teasing him with the idea of getting interrupted and caught, which you knew annoyed him to the core.

“Good,” he paused for a moment to look up at you, his hungry eyes burning into your memory. “Let them see that you’re clearly mine.”

Your heart throbbed at this sudden possessiveness and with a naughty smirk, you decided to give up the innocent act. With a few swift movements, the rest of your clothes were ripped off until you were half naked, the only remaining bit of modesty you had being the underwear that clinged to your skin until Diluc eventually pulled that off too, exposing you fully to him.

“So beautiful,” he sighed as he kneeled down in front of you, pulling your hips towards him then pinning your knees to the counter as he lowered his head to your aroused cunt. “And all mine.”

You couldn’t help but let out quiet, staggered breaths as he immediately wrapped his lips around your clit, gently sucking and nibbling on the sensitive nub as his eyes remained glued to yours. “All y-yours,” you reaffirmed, which made him hum in appreciation.

He had never considered fucking you in the tavern before, especially since he rarely had the establishment all to himself for a shift, but just this once, he was happy he was understaffed tonight. All the frustrations he had endured this evening, from the annoying table on the main floor to bickering with Kaeya about things that didn’t seem to matter anymore led to this very moment where he hungrily licked your wet folds, burying himself into the sound of your hesitant moans and feeling himself harden by the second.

“P-Please fuck me already,” you breathlessly begged, “Please, Diluc, hurry…”

“Cum for me first,” his low voice muttered into your aching cunt, making your legs quiver, “Show me how much you really want it.”

The whine that escaped your throat was suddenly replaced with a gasp as Diluc pushed two fingers into you, immediately setting a quick pace and pressing into your sweet spot. “Cum for me, darling,” he let go of the grip on your leg to stand up and hover over your torso, leaning closer to your face and snaking his free hand up your back. “Be a good girl and cum on my fingers.”

“D-Diluc…!” you whimpered with a pout, which earned a hum of disapproval from him.

“Master Diluc,” he sternly reminded you, shifting his fingers into you quicker, causing your brain to malfunction as you began to tighten around him.

“M-Master…! I’m…!”

“Go on,” he ran his fingers through your scalp and grabbed a handful of hair, leaning down to kiss you and muffle your moans of pleasure as you finally reached your climax, gushing around his fingers and trembling at his touch. You whimpered in his mouth, muscles slightly spasming still as you started to calm down from your high and feel his fingers slowly pull out of you. While keeping his grip on your hair, he let go of the kiss and stuck out his tongue against his fingers, licking your fluids in front of you and smiling in satisfaction.

“Good girl,” he said as he revelled in his favorite taste. You watched as he lapped up all the fluids, the mixture of cum and saliva glimmering on his fingers under the light of the moon through the window.

Speaking of which, you weren’t sure if it was the way you were slightly tipsy or perhaps the heat of the moment deceiving you, but through Diluc’s messy locks and shiny fiingers, you swore you saw a glimpse of a familiar shade of blue through the window. It was unmoving, sure, but it was there nonetheless, and it wasn’t there the last time you looked through the glass.

Maybe it was bad.

Maybe it was Kaeya.

Horror sunk into your chest for a fleeting moment, but you blamed it on the alcohol, and the way you were thinking about Kaeya and Diluc so much within the past few hours. Besides, all the thoughts you were having about the strange color in the window were replaced by the way Diluc unbuttoned his pants with one hand, the other still intertwined in your hair, then freed his cock and let it rest on your stomach as he slowly laid you down across the counter. He pulled you towards him once more so your head could rest on the wood, his hair-tangled hand acting as a cushion while his elbow took its place beside you so he completely caged you in. “Be quiet for me, okay? We don’t want to wake all of Mondstadt this late at night…”

“I’ll be good,” you promised him, letting your hands travel down to feel his length resting on your skin. It had some weight to it as you lifted it, and as if you two were mentally in perfect sync, he pulled his hips back to let you position the tip at your entrance.

Excitement boiled in your stomach as he slowly inched his hips forward, pushing his cock into you little by little, stretching your walls apart by the seams. Your mouth went agape with the sheer stretch alone and fighting the urge to moan had never been more difficult. Instead, the only sounds that filled the silent room was Diluc’s heavy breath as he closed his eyes from the way you wrapped around him so well, the gentle gasps and whimpers from you as he bottomed out and nearly hit your cervix, then the sudden rhythmic slapping of skin as he began to pound into you with no warning.

Your eyes rolled back into your head at the rush of pleasure that came with the rolling of his hips into yours. It was so difficult to keep quiet, so hard not to at least whimper and give tiny moans here and there as he fucked you silly on that bar counter, but he couldn’t care less since he told you to be quiet and expected you to follow suit. You knew that. He instead opted to gently wrap his hand on your throat without applying pressure – simply as a warning.

You couldn’t control your orgasm even if you wanted to. The way he stared into your eyes so desperately while his cock kissed your cervix repeatedly made you lose control so easily, and he took advantage of the way you tightened around him by fucking into you harder. Faster. Deeper.

“You’re so fucking good, darling,” his hazy eyes glanced down to your lips with the intent to lean down for a kiss. “You’re–“

A loud knock on the door startled the two of you enough for Diluc to stop his thrusts and look up towards the source of the noise, a few red strands of hair draping over your face and tickling your cheek. He stared intensely at the door, pushing into you again at snail speed as he waited for an indicator of who was the culprit of the noise.

Another knock sent a jolt up your spine – or maybe it was the way Diluc snapped his hips into you once then slowly pulled back to drag out the pleasure. With a frustrated huff, he decided to tighten the pressure around your neck and pound into you at the relentless speed he set before, quietly shushing you when you initially gasped in surprise.

After one more knock, Diluc lost his patience. It was his greatest pet peeve of interruption becoming a reality. “We’re closed!” his voice boomed loudly so the person on the other side of the door would surely hear him, startling you at the sudden break of silence. Clearly frustrated, he pounded into you faster, chasing his pleasure, knowing that he would need to deal with whoever was bothering the two of you this late at night and wanting to quickly reach his release before then.

“It’s me,” both of your eyes widened at the familiar voice, “I forgot my stuff at my seat, could you let me in real quick?”

Diluc turned his gaze down past your head to see that, as a matter of fact, Kaeya’s belongings were still at his seat from earlier. His eyebrow twitched as he quickly pulled himself off of you, leaving you quietly gasping for air and clenching around nothing.

“Get under the counter,” he whispered so quietly that you just barely heard him, “Don’t move a muscle.”

Following his command, you made you way under the counter, nestling your naked body next to a cabinet of liquor as you watched Diluc button his pants and loosely put his shirt back on, buttoning it while he walked around the bar towards the door. At that point, all you could do was listen to a set of keys jingle as he unlocked the tavern door and a gust of cold air rushed through the entrance, strong enough that you shivered behind the counter and hugged your knees to retain warmth.

“Get your things then get out,” Diluc bluntly greeted Kaeya, who chuckled in response.

“Aw, why the sudden hostility again?” you heard slow footsteps approach the bar, sending your heart racing with anxiety, “And why the disheveled appearance? Oh, let me guess–“

“Get your things. Then get out,” Diluc said more sternly. You could recognize that tone from anywhere. He was furious.

“But let me guess first! Judging by the way the tavern is still a mess, I know you weren’t cleaning up the place just now. And by the way your clothes are so messily put together even though they were so neat and tidy earlier, as well as the sweat on your forehead… Oh, don’t tell me I interrupted something intimate, dear brother!”

You didn’t need to see him to know that Diluc’s jaw was tensed, unable to form a response out of pure annoyance and frustration. And still, Kaeya pressed his buttons.

“You were fucking her real good,” he teased after waiting for a response and getting nothing from Diluc, ”I could hear it from outside the door.”

“I fucking hate you,” was all Diluc could say in response. He didn’t actually mean it, you knew this, but he was beyond irritated.

Kaeya shuffled to grab his belongings by his seat and turned to face the door. But as if he weren’t being petty enough, he reached into his bag for something and suddenly tossed it behind him – his house keys, which landed behind the bar right next to your feet. Your eyes widened at this. You swore you stopped breathing even if you didn’t mean to.

“I think I might have left something behind the counter too, mind if I check?”

The silence that followed was unbearable, even if it only lasted a few seconds. All of the sudden, your heart began to pound out of your chest, not only because of sheer fear and anxiety, but also because of the possibility that Kaeya would see you so vulnerable behind that counter, naked and hugging your knees, waiting for someone to hold you and ‘warm you up.’ Maybe he already did see you through that window. Maybe it wasn’t just your mind playing tricks on you.

“Okay, I’m sorry, Diluc, maybe I’ve gone too far–“

“No,” Diluc interrupted him, “Go ahead. Go get your keys.”

What?

“Seriously?” Kaeya scoffed in disbelief.

What are you doing, Diluc?

“Go on.”

What’s happening?

“‘Luc, I know she’s there, I’m just messing with you–“

“No, Kaeya,” Diluc turned to close the tavern door and lock it, “I know you’ve been eyeing her since the very beginning, even before I came along. I’m not even mad, I just feel sorry for you. I feel sorry that I took away someone you wanted so badly and that you haven’t been able to move on since.”

Diluc took a few steps towards the speechless brother and lowered his voice, still maintaining the same intensity and dragging out his words. “So why don’t you go behind the counter and get your fucking keys? While you’re there, you might as well fuck my girlfriend with me too, since you want her attention so badly.”

The room froze in time, only for a moment. Thoughts began to flood your mind – why would Diluc say that, especially since he was usually very protective over you? Should you refuse to let Kaeya see you, or let it happen? After all, it’s not like you weren’t at least a little bit curious how this situation would unfold...

While you sat in the corner naked and trembling, you held back your breath and listened to Kaeya’s footsteps slowly drag across the wooden floor, the creaking getting closer and closer until he was in your peripheral vision. “Diluc,” he immediately turned away once he saw you sitting there, exposed and cold, then let out a disgruntled sigh.

“Come now, Kaeya,” Diluc stepped in front of him to enter the bar and suddenly grab your arm, lifting you up with no hesitation and making you gasp in embarassment. He pinned your arms behind your back and turned to make you face Kaeya, whose eyes were glued to the opposite wall out of a little bit of respect. “How about we make this a competition, since you seem to love competing so much?”

“Diluc,” you whimpered as you tried to struggle out of his grasp with no success, which you didn’t complain about because a part of you wanted to unravel this situation even further. “Please…”

“Please what, darling?” he muttered into your ear from behind, “Oh, don’t tell me you’ve been pining for him too.”

“N-No, of course not,” you whined, “I just…”

Maybe it was bad.

Maybe it was bad, but you were going to do it anyway.

You pressed yourself against his hips, gently grinding on his erection and letting out small whimpers. Just like Diluc, you hated being interrupted and couldn’t exactly think straight. All of this petty arguing didn’t matter to you, especially since you wanted them both from the beginning either way. In an attempt to admit your secret without explicitly saying it, you mustered up the courage to mutter, “Please, both of you, stop fighting and just… fuck me…”

Diluc tightened his grip around you with a grin, letting out a low scoff. “Slut. I knew you were a slut,” your eyes widened and stomach burned in excitement at the sudden degrading nickname he called you, “I bet you’ve been thinking about something like this for a while, haven’t you?”

You sheepishly nodded as he slowly pushed you back onto the counter, this time laying you on your stomach and bending you over. “I won’t deny that I’ve been thinking about the same thing lately,” he started to unbutton his top again as you raised an eyebrow at this new information. He huffed with annoyance as he unbuttoned his pants and turned his head to the dumbfounded brother across the bar. “Kaeya, either grab your keys and go or stay here and keep her mouth occupied. I’ll let you decide – just make it quick and quit standing there.”

With your head dangling off the counter, you watched as Kaeya slowly turned around to face the two of you, studying the scene for a moment before letting out a deep sigh. As if he finally made a decision, he put down his belongings again, took off his vest, and made his way across the counter, his hips only a foot away from your face. Meanwhile, Diluc had already freed his cock once more, keeping one hand on your restricted arms and using the other to prod your entrance with his tip. The excitement was overwhelming, coursing through your veins as you watched Kaeya slowly unbutton his pants as well with a bit of reluctance.

“Please hurry, Kaeya,” you softly begged, hoping to encourage him to quit holding back since it was obvious he was being overly shy, “Please, I want this so bad…”

“I’m sure you do, darling,” he adopted the pet name from Diluc, “But I like seeing you so needy for me when I’m moving slow like this.”

Letting out an impatient growl, Diluc grabbed onto your hips as he sheathed his cock with your cunt all at once, making you mewl and sigh at the feeling of being full again. He began rolling his hips deeply just as he did before he was so rudely interrupted, never failing to maintain his quick rhythm and making your brain short circuit.

With his slender fingers, Kaeya held your chin in his hand, lifting your face up to look at his and grinning once he saw how your mind was lost as you burned with pleasure. He stared at your flushed cheeks and panting mouth, comparing it to the usual calm and composed demeanor you always seemed to have. He smirked, rubbing a small circle into your chin with his thumb. “So this pretty, helpless face is what Diluc gets to see every single day? I’m very jealous, brother.”

That comment only made Diluc pound into you harder, his weight shifting into his arm to pin you down further. “Cry about it,” he mocked.

Ignoring the comment, Kaeya only pressed his lips together in a pout to tease you, slowly taking out his cock which made your mind boggle at the sheer size of it. He was just as deliciously large as Diluc was, and as he began to stroke it in front of your face, secretly admiring the sight of you being fucked senseless by his brother, you couldn’t help but feel like you were melting in the presence of such dominating forces hovering over you. Without second thought, you left your mouth agape, letting your tongue stick out in a wordless way of telling him you wanted to take him, to satiate your hungry desires that you hid for quite some time now.

“Eager, are we?” Kaeya didn’t seem to ever shut up his teasing, “I was just going to stand here and enjoy the show, but if you really want it that badly…”

One hand on your chin turned into one thumb in your mouth, which you received gratefully nonetheless. He let you suckle sweetly on his finger, cooing at how pathetic you looked drooling all over it when he hadn’t done anything yet. All the while Diluc let go of your folded arms and instead used both hands to firmly grip your ass and pound into you deeper, the sound of slapping skin filling up the room along with his shaky breaths now and then.

A whimper escaped your throat as you looked up at Kaeya’s face, He didn’t need to hear you say the words to know that you were quietly begging for a taste of him by looking at him so innocently, and as such, your wish was his command. He took a step forward to nestle the head of his cock into your mouth, his thumb still on your tongue to make you open up wider and let you salivate over the taste of his skin until he slowly began pushing himself deeper, watching your gag reflex just to find out you were taking him in quite nicely. His heart was aching with jealousy that Diluc was so lucky to have you all to himself, but nonetheless, once he fully bottomed out inside of your throat that he had to remove his finger to fit properly, he saw this as an opportunity to enjoy himself and sighed in pleasurable relief.

Kaeya’s hands found their place on both sides of your head as he slowly fucked your throat, wanting to relish in the feeling of you wrapped so tightly around him, holding back coughs and tears. It was a painfully delightful contrast to the way Diluc was relentlessly abusing your aching hole from the other side of the counter, letting out his pent up frustrations of the night in the form of deep thrusts and shameless pants. Kaeya couldn’t help but leave quiet moans here and there as well while he slowly pushed himself in and out of your mouth, filling your throat up with his entire length just to pull back with a sigh then do it again.

Eventually, Kaeya became more comfortable with picking up the pace, watching as Diluc’s slammed his hips into yours and yearning for a similar feeling. His hands traveled through your scalp, tangling through your hair messily as he leaned in to fuck into your mouth with more intent. You hummed sweetly as Kaeya finally stopped holding back, giving into the pleasure and matching Diluc’s rough pace. The feeling of the two of them ignoring their feud and instead taking out their frustrations on you made your insides twist and knot together knowing that after so long, your fantasies have come to light – or rather, they came to this dimly lit tavern in the middle of the night.

Diluc was the first to release himself in you, filling your drenched cunt with his seed and controlling his staggering breaths as he fucked you slowly to calm down from his high. It made you needy to hear his low groans in their fullest volume, but you knew that that had to be saved for different circumstances. His fingers that dug into your skin so intensely gently lifted off of you has he wiped the slight sweat off his forehead and simultaneously looked up to watch Kaeya fucking your throat. If he hadn’t been so exhausted from work tonight, he would’ve secretly loved to invite Kaeya for another round, knowing how tightly your cunt wrapped around him the second Kaeya started touching you.

Shortly after, Kaeya finally reached his own release too, letting your nose nestle in his trimmed blue hair as he dumped his cum into your throat unceremoniously. His chest slowly rose and fell with each deep breath he took, trying to control himself as he felt you attempt to swallow his seed while he was still inside you. The feeling drove him crazy and craving for more, but as he averted his gaze from you to look at Diluc on the other side, a wave of regret and jealousy washed over him knowing that this was probably going to leave him off on bad terms with his brother – again.

But much to his dismay, as he slowly pulled out of you, Diluc only laughed. He laughed wholeheartedly as he gently caressed your waist, soothing you while you gasped for air. Kaeya stood there confused on the sudden lightheartedness in the air, tucking himself back into his pants and getting ready to leave as soon as possible, slightly ashamed for indulging in such an impulsive moment of vulnerability for you and Diluc.

“Not so fast,” Diluc spoke the first words after the long period of silence once Kaeya started to pick up his belongings, “You’re forgetting your keys.”

With the help of Diluc, you slowly lifted yourself up to lay on your back, keeping your legs spread and incoherently mewling for more. Diluc only grinned at this, shushing you with a gentle look and caressing your thigh as he briefly saw his cum pooling on the counter. Kaeya nervously glanced at you before entering the bar and walking towards his keys next to Diluc’s foot, grabbing them, then standing back up with an averted gaze. The poor boy was so nervous, but you had to admit he tasted so good.

Diluc placed a reaffirming hand on Kaeya’s shoulder, making Kaeya lift his head and look into his eyes. The two shared a moment of eye contact, communicating a shared sense of apology to each other. Maybe it was bad at first, but regardless of how much they seemed to be at each others throats, they always seemed to make amends in the end.

“Okay, get out,” Diluc bluntly said, which followed with hurried footsteps towards the door and a quick, “Alright, alright, I’m leaving!” from Kaeya. The exchange made you laugh, but once Kaeya was finally gone and Diluc had locked the door behind him, you were beginning to get antsy.

“So,” Diluc trailed his eyes up and down your trembling body still splayed out on the counter, “would you, by chance, ever be interested in doing that again? Just the three of us?”

“I want to so badly,” you breathlessly admitted, replaying the past half hour in your head and letting the memory brand into your mind. “Please, Master?”

He thought about it for a moment then grinned.

“I’ll think about it. As long as you know you belong to me in the end, maybe another round with him wouldn’t be so bad.”

#diluc #diluc x reader #diluc smut #kaeya #kaeya x reader #kaeya smut #genshin impact #genshin impact smut #mine #bang #requested

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danni-k · 2 years

Text

“Stop that.” You said while tapping the back of his head with the beer you brought him to replace the one in his hand.

“What?” Draken questioned as he took the bottle from you.

You’re clenching your jaw. Stop that you’ll cause yourself to get a headache. Why are you stressing about anyway?” You question while massaging his jaw with your now free hand.

“Have you not been paying attention to the news? The crime rate is sky rocketing and fucking Bonten is behind most of it.” He said pointing his bottle at the tv. Eww Sanzu has been going overboard with the guys on the docks lately. Why does he never get fussed at for not cleaning his messes like you and Rin do?

“So what does that have to do with you? You’re acting like you could have stopped it.” Playing it off like you don’t know exactly what happened.

“Well…”

“No! How?” You screamed while eating your popcorn. Did you know this yes. Were you still nosy enough to want to hear it from another source, yes.

“Me and the leader; the dude with the neck tattoo we were friends when we were kids. We grew a part after his sister died.” Sitting the now empty bottle down he looked out the patio door almost not really wanting you to see his face.

“How did she die, if you don’t mind me asking?” It was the one part no one told you almost as if it was against the law to bring it up.

“Gang violence. We were the head of this gang and this dude that we kicked out got into his adopted brother’s head and she ended up getting caught in the middle of a gang fight.” He got up going to the kitchen, he came back with two glasses and the strongest bourbon from the bar. This was serious enough for him the drink.

“Sounds like you took the blame for her death.” You said taking a sip out of the glass he poured you. “That is not of God and I don’t appreciate you trying to kill me.”

“I couldn’t protect her. I loved her and I couldn’t protect her. I didn’t even get to tell her.”

“Is that what has you so hung up? If we’re half as annoying with her as you are with me she knew. Also from what you’ve shown me you aren’t a real thug so I’m sure you weren’t the one who killed her or knew she was targeted. If you feel this way about a lost love, think about how he feels, that was his sister it’s technically his job to protect her and he let a stupid fight with some loser made him lose sight of it. Not just him think of how his brother must feel to be used in such a way that cost him his family.” Coming over to the couch he was sitting on you realized how much he’s been keeping to hisself, out of all the times you’ve watched him at his job, with his friends, or just alone he always had a wall up and always made sure others were okay even if was inconvenient for him.

“When it comes to his brother he also died that same day, he got shot saving his best friend. All I know is he started pulling away from all of us a year after it all happened and then he got with all those yes men around him that he never hears no.” Taking the remaining liquid in your glass and adding it to his own he downed it stating the last part angrily. Yes you all were slightly scared of Mikey but yes men was a little overboard you told him no three times this week.

“He’s alone? I know it’s stupid but I can see how pulling him away might be he way of healing. I did it with my family when my mom died.How do you know who he has around him?” So rude of him to assume they were your idiots to protect. “You also ran away from your family and now live half way around the world from your family. You’re not the best example.You work for two of them. You can’t tell me you don’t know that those idiots are part Bonten. They literally have the gang’s tattoo on their necks.”he laughed finally releasing the tension in his back.

“Exactly I came here and made a new family, coping level 100. My bosses are idiots who get matching tattoos what they mean has nothing to do with me. Off the record I am sure 60% of the money they make is not legal but that is none of my business.”it was more like 95% but that’s neither here nor there.

“You are probably right the less you know the better. Have you seen that guy at the club?”

“Who the short guy with the bad ass bob? Probably, the Haitanis block off parts of the hallway in the vip rooms some days so I don’t know who’s all there. Why?” You asked again trying to catch up with Draken you were in dire need of a chaser that bourbon was not as sweet as you liked and you were slowly dying inside. Although Mikey’s bob was fabulous now that Koko talked him into getting layers cut in.

“Nothing, just watch out around those guys.” He whispered as he kissed the top of your head.

“Sure and you stop feeling like it’s your fault your friend’s sister died. You are not at fault, who ever brainwashed his brother is the one at fault. It can affect your relationship with women down the road.” You replied while getting up to head to your room.“You know you’re very good at this Why don’t you use your degree again?” He asked while staring up at you. “Client/doctor confidentiality mostly, I wouldn’t be able to tell you any of the things I would hear then how would I entertain you?”you mused.

“I can think of a few ways.”

@cottacyber @bubble4u @summerxxplosion @cekbec

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Bonus

#tokyo revengers #tokrev #haitani ran #haitani rindou #haitanibrothers #tokyo revengers mikey #draken x reader #draken tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers ken ryuguji #draken

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agape-bakery · 3 years

Note

ah, may i please request the brothers with an MC who was summoned without their glasses, but just? didnt say anything?? and after an absurd amount of time (like a month or two) they're just like "oh, yeah i need glasses i cant rlly see anything lmao"

with a GN or male mc please :)

thank you, have a wonderful day! -🐱

Me in about 3 years- This was pretty difficult to do so it took me so long to finish and it still ended up shorter than I wanted it to be, so sorry about that anon!

Would like to give a small reminder that this is not how the brothers would react canonically, especially for Belphie's scenario!

The Brothers with an MC who needs glasses

Lucifer

He thought you were making a poor attempt to be intimidating in the beginning by how hard you were squinting whenever you look around

He then thought that you needed glasses but by the way you didn't say anything, he assumed that was not the case

During the month, Lucifer is CONVINCED that you needed glasses

He's the Avatar of Pride but he's not that prideful about glasses....kind of-

After weeks of watching you rub your eyes and squint, he finally decided to ask if you needed glasses

Your eyes light up and you quickly nod and then go, "I actually forgot to told you I need glasses lol-"

....

WHAT

Lucifer would stare down at you with the most wide-eyed confused look he has ever given someone in his whole life

"MC, what do you mean you forgot?"

"I just forgot!"

Lucifer would take a long sigh before shaking his head, while he's exasperated, it's better late than never

Even if he acts annoyed, he'd still buy you some glasses as a gift

He now has more reasons to believe his gut, especially when it comes to you

Mammon

He most likely wears those sunglasses not because he thought it was cool but because his eyes are blurry from staring at his phone all the time-

As he was a demon, he didn't need to use it all the time

But when he saw you squinting, he was already in front of you with his hand up, smirking like he didn't experience the same thing in the past

"I saw you squinting, MC, how many fingers am I holding up?"

"Haha, real funny."

You completely forgot to tell him that you actually did need glasses and moved on with your day

The longer you did that, the more Mammon grew concerned, is this a habit??? Are you fucking with him just because he asked you how many fingers he was holding up??

When he finally confronted you after psyching himself in front of his mirror:

"MC, do you really need glasses??"

"Oh yeah, I was supposed to tell you that a month ago but I forgot."

"WHO FORGETS ABOUT NEEDING GLASSES? IT'S LITERALLY RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU-"

Don't worry, if you mention wanting the same glasses as his but with your prescription, Mammon would leave it aside to look for a matching pair-

Leviathan

This guy NEEDS the high prescription glasses with blue light filter 24/7

He stares at the screen all day, tell me he doesn't need it-

Anyway, he might have noticed that you need one in the beginning but didn't think too much of it and left it alone

He found out while he was playing a game with you and you weren't doing too good unless you lean closer/back

He doesn't mind carrying but while his eyes were focused on the screen, he asked if you were alright

You were his lover, after all, he didn't want you to get a headache or something because of him

You nod your head and tell him that it's because you need the glasses to fully see

As soon as the game was over, he was like, "Legit???" and couldn't believe his ears when you confirmed it

Dealing with glasses was difficult enough but he couldn't imagine playing while not wearing contacts or glasses

The day after that, you now have matching glasses with your boyfriend, now the both of you can act like the smart people in anime :D

Satan

Most likely wears reading glasses but that's it

He instantly knows that you need it because who squints like that?

But he doesn't have your medical files so he couldn't say for sure

It didn't hurt to ask though

"MC? Forgive me if this sounds offensive, but do you always squint like that?"

"Oh! I didn't tell you? I need glasses!"

"Have you not been wearing contacts or glasses this past month??"

"I forgot..."

Satan thinks of a solution, not wearing glasses when you need it, especially with bad vision might further harm the eyes so he tags along with you to get one

Frankly, he doesn't mind if his lover has glasses, he thinks it's endearing!

Asmodeus

Cares a lot about all of his body and makes sure to take care of them all the time so he didn't really need glasses, well, the ones with prescription that is

Honestly could have been one of the brothers to let you remember much earlier

Because he also spends time on his eyes, making sure it gets its needed rest, he might know something about glasses

And he noticed how you seemed to need one whenever you look at something close/far away

He hugs your arm, looking at you with a worried pout, "Hey MC, you've been staring in space and squinting for a long while, are you okay?"

As you reassured him and tell him that you just forgot your glasses, he laughs it off, until he realized that you weren't wearing one for MONTHS

He's a little worried, what if your vision got worse?

As soon as school ends, he's taking you to the doctor! No buts!

Beelzebub

The brother who didn't notice until at least 4 months or longer (while the others took a few weeks or a month)

Another one who cares about his body to keep it healthy, eyes are very important and even if it was an annoying task, he isn't planning on making it worse

Might have seen you squinting and staring off in space with a mean look, but that's what Belphie and Lucifer do sometimes, so he thought it was nothing

Until you say it outright to him or someone tells him, or if your vision's getting worse, he wouldn't notice-

"Ugh...I can't believe I forgot my glasses of all things.."

"You needed glasses??"

He feels bad for not noticing sooner, so he vows to help find you if ever your glasses get lost or ruined

Belphegor

Menace

Would be fast asleep to notice your struggles

And if we're going the original route and the two of you just met, he wouldn't even care-

When he finds out that you forgot them and had to walk around with no glasses, he snickered

"Who forgets their glasses?" He flicks your forehead with a small smile before yawning

Would bully you lightly tease you for having glasses in the first place

"You need glasses to see? Too bad."

But if you really do feel sad about what he's saying, he'll feel a little bad and stops it, apologizing quietly

Even if it's a difficult task for him to stay awake, he wants to at least try one time for you and remind you where your glasses are and that you should wear it

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lilac-5ky · 2 years

Text

Killing Butterflies (Part 7: Tears don't dry on their own)

A/N: Admittedly writing this chapter required a lot of thinking process and time to process ;-; Hopefully the way reader "changes" her mind doesn't come off as unnatural or anything ^^ Also, HUUUGE thank you to the people who send me feedback or comment! Honestly at times I can't help but question my work, wondering if things get too toxic because of the thematic, but seeing people's reception is very very veeeery helpful! So once again, thank you for that!

Warning: Mentions of alcohol? Man, I suck at giving warnings, but like, no smut or extreme violence whatsoever :p

Why did it have to be you?

While starring down at the bottom of his glass, Takasugi caught himself reminiscing about all the drinks he’d shared in his lifetime. The ones he’d never come to share again, as well as those who were never shared in the first place.

A certain cold winter night came to mind, one that wasn’t as far in the past as he’d like to believe.

He remembered how Sakamoto was the one to provide them with some fresh sake from Hyogo, insisting that all they needed to warm themselves up was a glass or two of this “sweet nectar”, as he called it.

He remembered Gintoki hogging the bottle for himself, insisting that the two of them fight it over a silly drinking contest, the sole rule being that whoever stomached the most sake before passing out would be declared the winner.

He remembered turning him down, up until the point that idiot started spewing that he was chickening out only because he knew there wasn’t enough space for alcohol in a runt’s body. Or was it about how he still had a long way until he could join the adults? Either way, all he remembered next was the foul scent of feet tickling his nose, as well as Zura’s nagging piercing right through his hideous headache.

He remembered all that, yet he couldn’t remember the outcome. Who won and who lost on that day?

Perhaps he was the winner, judging by how he was the only one left to pour a drink, though something about this sentence felt terribly wrong. A winner that has nothing to lose, nor earnings to share, just doesn’t sound right.

Another shot.

At the bottom of the glass now lay a crackling campfire, one whose flames silently danced the night away. He remembered talking of future and hope; of how one day the five of them would get to make toasts together; of how not even sensei would have the patience to handle Sakamoto’s excessive chattering; of how rescuing sensei would definitely be because of the Kiheitai and not of that lousy silver-haired no-good samurai.

More than anything, more than winning the war itself, that’s what Takasugi wished for the most, oblivious to the calamity that lied beyond. None of them considered the possibility, none of them wanted to believe that the drink they wished to share with sensei would never come, that his life’s thread, the very same thread that tied them together, would be cut by their own hands. None of them seemed to know, except for that damn fire.

Looking back, the way it burned was a little too bright, a little too quiet, a little too warm, illuding them to believe they stood a chance, without ever interrupting their wishful thinking. Even now that only he and his bottled up thoughts remained, the flames kept on mocking him, daring him to slip right into that rabbit hole, daring him to hope and dream again.

Rather than bringing the glass back to his lips, Takasugi tilted it around in between his fingers, letting its contents spill onto the ground below. An offering for the lost, the forgotten, and the damned.

Another shot.

Did he drink to remember or to forget? He couldn’t tell. He always thought that what he simply needed to do was to keep moving forward, yet with every step a new regret came to drag him further down. Be it past memories or future ambitions, by taking on this pointless mission, all he’d managed was adding one more regret to the list.

Over a week had gone by since he’d walked out on you, proclaiming that he was done playing teacher. Ever since that day, you never stopped trying to apologize, running after him time and time again, only to return to your room with a face full of tears.

He refused to listen to your explanations. There was nothing for you to explain, nothing to apologize for. This wasn’t your fault. In fact, none of it was. Not you running off to the city, not you choosing to fight back, and certainly not you swaying him. It was all on him, because of his inability to deny you.

Takasugi was never one for honor or for status. He couldn’t care less about either. He’d accepted that he’d never become the honorable samurai his parents wished to see; such a life was never for him. Between yielding and defying, he’d always choose the latter, yet for some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to fight against you.

Maybe all this lying around was enough to domesticate him, enough to delude himself into thinking that following such a frail and mindless emotion wasn’t out of the question for the wretched man he was.

There was a brief time when he’d entertained the idea of settling down with some woman after the war. As absurd as it may sound, such mundane desires weren’t out of the question back then, when winning was still on the cards.

He thought he’d left such thoughts in the past, but after meeting you, he found himself wishing that you could be that woman for him. The one he’d get to cherish and protect, the one he’d get to call his own. Up until that point, he’d never experienced what that feeling known as love was all about, yet when it came down to nearly losing you, there was no way for him to turn a blind eye anymore.

What his eyes failed to see, his heart saw for him. The first girl to ever catch his sight, and about the last one he should be looking at. The girl he was in love with; you.

When did it start for him, he wondered. When did he grow so fond of the pest that so persistently clung onto him? Was it before you’d convinced him to believe in all that nonsense about dead people and invisible stars? Was it in between the countless hits your body sustained? Or was is it after that bokken came raining down on him, knocking all common sense out?

There was little meaning in pinpointing the exact moment he fell for you, though that didn’t prevent him from pondering nonetheless.

That’s right. Perhaps he wasn’t drinking to wash away his troubles or drown his sorrows. Perhaps all he meant to do was drink himself into a dream where he could be free to claim you all for himself. Where his hands wouldn’t be destined to take away everything you held dear, where he could smile and laugh with you without having a single worry in the world. Where he could love you free of any reservation, where he could be someone honorable enough to maintain such a beautiful soul.

Perhaps in such a dream, he wouldn’t mind going as far as to attempt to make you happy either. Perhaps in such a dream, he would be sharing this drink with you.

However, such a beautiful dream had no place in this horrid reality. He had obtained more than enough evidence to move onto the final stage of his plan, yet knowing that by doing so he’d never get to see you again, Takasugi hesitated. For the first time ever, he hesitated to strike down a man, and it was all because of you. Because he couldn’t stand to see your tears, knowing he wouldn’t be there to wipe them off your face.

Why did it have to be you?

“Am I intruding?”

Lost in his thoughts, Takasugi hadn’t noticed you sneaking out of the building, let alone approaching him.

Your hands were holding onto a dark piece of clothing while a feint smile dangled from your lips. There was uncertainty in the way you stared at him, though that wasn’t particularly surprising after the way he’d treated you. Still, you remained a most welcoming sight to his eye, one that he had no right to behold.

Instead of giving you an answer, Takasugi poured himself another drink. He couldn’t find the right words to say. Part of him wanted to keep rejecting your advances, knowing that it was probably the safest choice for both you and him. The longer you lingered around, the easier it was to forsake everything he’d been working on. You were just as dangerous to him as he was to you, yet another, less dignified part of himself wanted nothing more than for this loneliness to end.

Undaunted by the lack of answer, you laid the fabric onto the grass, assuming a seat by his side. That’s what he gets for leaving his silence up to interpretation.

“I never said you weren’t.”

“But you never said I was either.” You countered jokingly.

“There’s no reason for you to keep orbiting around me any longer.” He paused to press the glass against his lips, hoping to find some strength in the alcohol. “Class is over, I have nothing to teach you.”

“I couldn’t stand to watch you sit here all alone. You were practically begging for company.”

Do I look that pathetic, he pondered.

“Save your pity points for someone who needs them. I certainly don’t.” Takasugi frowned, balancing the bottle in between his knees.

“Pity?” You chuckled, scooting closer to him. “Have you ever considered that I actually enjoy hanging out with you?”

More than consider, he knew you did. He could see how your face lit up around him, and truthfully, he returned that sentiment. Being around you felt comforting, familiar even. Maybe it was because you were just as big of an idiot as those guys were, but whenever he was around you, he felt like he could live as a human again.

“You shouldn’t. You really shouldn’t.” Takasugi said in a low tone, unsure of whether his words were meant for you or for him to hear.

“Why are you avoiding me?” You asked, forcefully entering his field of view.

You were doing your best to capture his attention, while he was doing his absolute best to ignore both you and your questions.

Licking the alcohol off his lips, he let out a sigh, leaning his head against the tree’s trunk.

“I’m not.” He huffed.

“Are you still mad at me?”

“I wasn’t mad at you.” Another blatant lie.

“Then why-”

“Class is over. There’s no reason for us to keep seeing each other.” He cut you off, squeezing his right eye shut.

“Is that all there is to us?” You queried in a weakened tone.

“There is no ‘us’, Y/N. I didn’t come here to play house with you, nor am I able to offer you the future that you seek. The sooner you understand that, the easier it will be for you.” Takasugi wryly replied.

The guilt he was trying to suppress was enough to drown him. Just by looking your way, he felt incredibly guilty. Whether he let you stay by his side or not, you’d end up hurting all the same. Pain was all he could offer, and yet there he was, shamelessly sitting next to you.

He hated that. He hated how he had to be the one to rob you of your future, how because of him your smile would fade away once and for all. You deserve to be smiling. You deserve to be happy, and be loved by someone who can love you free of any price, by someone who isn’t him.

“I heard you received an official proposal. You should accept it.” He suggested, each word stinging like venom.

Perhaps your only real chance at happiness, would be for you to be married off into the Fujiwaras. Even if your house weakens, it’d be hard for them to discard one of their own. But that wasn’t to say he was overly fond of the idea either. The mere thought left a foul aftertaste in his mouth, one that he was quick to override with more alcohol.

“Is this what it’s all about?” The grass rustled underneath you as you sat up a little. “I won’t marry him, Shinsuke. I don’t want to, what I want is-”

“It doesn’t matter what you do or do not want. You aren’t in a position to be making decisions of your own.”

A moment of much needed silence followed. With each exchange of words the distance between you grew bigger, and for once he didn’t mind that. Distance was good. Convenient. Safe.

“You meant all these things, didn’t you? You… you must really think of me as a little girl.”

“Y/N.” He exasperated your name, yet he didn’t know what to follow it up with. Such conversations never came easily.

Shaking his head, he was about to down another shot, when a pair of hands snatched the bottle from within his grasp. He opened his eye, unwillingly facing you for the first time tonight. Your nose scrunched up at the overwhelming scent of alcohol, one you certainly weren’t used to.

“What are you doing?” Takasugi prompted bemusedly, twisting his body to your direction.

“Would a little girl do this?” You asked with your bottom lip quivering around the rim of the bottle, as a rather generous amount of sake poured down your throat.

“Hand it over.” He could already tell where this was heading, the scene being all too familiar.

“Not until you admit you were mad and forgive me.” You winced, provoking him with another sip.

“I told you I wasn’t mad, now give it back!”

Your distaste was evident, but your desire to prove him wrong was stronger.

Before you had the chance to guide the bottle back to your mouth, Takasugi plunged forward, yanking it so hard that the two of you ended up rolling to the ground. Next thing he knew countless blades of green came poking at his sides, yet for once, he didn’t have the mind to protest. Not when your foreheads were tightly pressed together, and certainly not when you were a breath apart from one another.

With your doe eyes that glinted of stars and your plump lips begging to be kissed, he was wondering for the second time in one night what being victorious truly meant. Right now, he wanted nothing more than to proclaim his defeat, too eager to lose himself into you.

“Would… would a little girl do this?” You warned in a low tone, the kind of warning he chose to ignore.

Warmth spread to his cheeks as you cushioned his face with your palms, making sure he wouldn’t be able to avert his gaze anymore, though there was no need to. The image of you was etched in his eyelid, and he wasn’t looking to get rid of it anytime soon. You looked so pure basked in the moonlight, he thought to himself, a passing thought that flew over his head the moment your lips connected.

He could tell how inexperienced you were, unavoidably adding a bit too much pressure, though that didn’t matter. For the first time in months, he felt relieved. For the first time in months, he felt as if he was truly lightweight, despite being fully aware that this kiss was the beginning of his end.

Little by little, the burden in his hands got replaced by you, his fingers gently clasping around your shoulders. He didn’t mean to push you away anymore. All he meant to do was hold you closer, making sure you wouldn’t be able to run away from him.

Just tonight, allow me to sheathe my sword. Just tonight, allow me to be weak.

And so he dived right in, greedily seeking the one thing he could never afford. He set a slow pace, languidly moving his mouth against yours with the tip of his tongue stealing licks in between pecks, before finally teasing your lips apart. He’d forgotten how heavenly kissing a woman felt, but then again he had no recollection of a kiss feeling this heady either. What the liquor failed to do your lips succeeded in, until he couldn’t tell what had gotten him this drunk, the alcohol or you.

A sigh was shared between you as you acclimated to one another, the pure yearning that bound you together soon escalating into something more, a fervent passion whose consequences neither of you were prepared to face.

“I think I love you.” The words poured out of you without warning, words that he was quick to seal with a shallow kiss.

Don’t, he meant to say, yet he couldn’t. Even if such love came to destroy you both, he could never ask of you to stop loving him, not when he loved you more than he thought possible. Besides, it was only for tonight.

You were the first to pull away, or rather, the first to slip away. The hands that held onto him had now fallen to his chest, along with the rest of your body. At first, Takasugi failed to understand what had happened. It certainly looked as if you’d ran out of battery, until he realized the immense amount of alcohol you’d previously consumed.

“Y/N?” He asked, though he wasn’t surprised by the lack of answer.

Your breathing had significantly slowed down to a relaxed pace, with your chest heaving up and down in your sleep. If it was anyone else, he’d have no issue throwing them off, but when it came to you, he didn’t mind playing the role of a cushion. If anything, you provided him enough time for his eye to feast upon your dormant features.

He’d always thought of you as someone who was attractive, yet in that moment, your beauty rivaled that of the moon and the stars combined. Your lips curled into a smile as he brought a hand down your hair, pushing them out of the way in order to get a better look. How could a pest look so cute, he pondered, eventually settling against the tree trunk.

So much for wanting to break the world into pieces when you can’t even break a girl’s heart, he sneered. If anyone could see him now, they wouldn’t hesitate to mock him for letting a girl dictate his actions.

“Our little samurai has grown into someone capable of such strong emotions.” A familiar voice spoke into his head. “She must be very special.”

“Doesn’t make things less wrong if she is.” Takasugi shrugged, fully aware that this was nothing but a figment of his own imagination.

“Following your heart can only be right, Shinsuke. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for my student.”

“That does sound like you,” he paused, smiling bitterly at the word that followed “sensei.”

Breaking out of his self-inflicted trance, Takasugi’s attention shifted back to you. He realized how he hadn’t stopped stroking your hair, finding comfort in the repetitive gesture. It was terrifying how a rich little noble girl falling asleep on him was all it took to shatter his walls. All that hatred and anguish he felt got nullified around you. His life’s purpose might have been revenge, though in you, he found another reason to breathe. Whether you’d come to him as a blessing or a curse, he couldn’t tell anymore.

After a while of idly gazing at you, he remembered the dark piece of fabric you were cradling when you first approached him. Although crinkled from the struggle, he recognized it as his haori, the one he’d given you on that day.

All traces of blood had long been erased, leaving nothing but the subtle smell of honeysuckle etched deep within the ebony cloth. It smelled just like you, he noted while pressing it to his nose. He could imagine you persistently scrubbing over each stain with your own two hands, refusing the help of your retainers. The thought was endearing enough to bring a smile to his face as he laid the haori over your body, shielding you as best as he could from the wintry night.

You looked so small, that he felt as if the wind would be enough to sweep you away and so he held you tighter. A delighted expression curled your lips upwards as you shamelessly snuggled closer onto him, hooking your arms around his torso. Come morning, you’d definitely overdose from embarrassment, but for now you seemed more than content to make him into your personal pillow.

Tipping his head back against the trunk, he emptied all thoughts until the sole image remained that of your graceful expression meddling with the waning moon, at which he smiled again.

I have no right to think of a moment of happiness, but in this moment with you, I truly feel happy. In this moment here, I don’t feel alone anymore.

“Are you sure that doctor knew what he was doing? It’s been three days already.” A voice that belonged to neither you nor sensei chirped in his ears.

Though he dared not open his eye, Takasugi didn’t need to take a look around to tell he was no longer sharing that cold winter night’s dream with you. Had he known his dream would end there, then perhaps he would have looked at that silly face of yours a little longer. Kiss that foul mouth of yours a little more too, though it was now too late. The pale moonlight had given way to the subtle sunlight shying past the half-drawn blinds, with your affectionate whispers dispelled behind Matako’s quiet sobs.

Despite the tough act Matako put up in front of others, among the three lied no space for pretending. Unlike them, she had a difficult time dismissing her emotions for the sake of a cause, and frankly, neither Takasugi nor Bansai wanted that for her. If it wasn’t for them, then perhaps she could have had a real chance at a happy ending, the kind of ending girls like her, girls like you, deserved.

“Matako, we’ve done everything we could. It’s up to Shinsuke now.” Bansai replied from somewhere further away.

“But what if he doesn’t wake up? What if-” Another sob cut her sentence in half, making him realize that her hands were placed upon his own all along.

Be it in this reality or the other, it seemed as if Takasugi had a real knack for making innocent girls cry, even when that wasn’t his intention. Others would be ecstatic to have someone weep over them like that, but not him. He’s had enough of this morbid sound haunting his ears to last him a lifetime.

Still, what was she crying for? His hazy memory stood in the way of him piecing the puzzle together, until the excruciating pain of his shattered ribs reminded him of all that had transpired, his noble, yet highly moronic act included.

He really wasn’t cut for all this hero bullshit, he thought to himself, hesitating to reveal his awakened state. It was too early to face the music.

“Do you think so little of Shinsuke? This man is hellbent on seeing his ambitions through. Whether the day he opens his eye is today, tomorrow, or even a week from now, Shinsuke will definitely wake up.” Bansai went on, attempting to comfort the weeping blonde in his place.

“We should go now.”

“But what if he wakes up and he’s all alone? One of us should at least stay.” She argued, firmly clenching her fingers around his, while he did his best to remain still.

“He is not a child, Matako.” Bansai sighed, the tapping of his feet growing stronger as she refused to move from Takasugi’s side. “Fine. If it puts your mind at ease, I’ll stay back. But you should get some rest, I daresay.”

“No, I can stay. I’m fine, really-”

“How long has it been since you got a wink of sleep? Do you think he’ll thank you if you overexert like that?”

No answer.

“Go rest. I’ll stay with Shinsuke and alert you, should he wake up.” Bansai concluded, his pace picking up once again, joined by a second one soon after.

He was way better at handling her than Takasugi could ever aspire to be, and for that, he was thankful the two of them were in this together.

You can’t leave me alone. Not you too, not again.

Just when he thought the room emptied of sound, a third murmur intercepted the silence, reverberating through the depths of his mind. Was someone else sharing the space with them? He couldn’t tell. The voice disappeared as quickly as it appeared, making him question whether he’d been mistaken.

“No need to pretend anymore. She’s gone.” Bansai cut his thoughts in half.

“How did you know?” Takasugi asked, concealing his bewilderment with a hasty smile.

“You were frowning. This is unlike your normal sleeping expression.”

“Ever the observant, Bansai.” Takasugi lamented, propping his body onto his elbows.

“Nightmare?” The man asked, bringing forth a small wooden cup whose contents he stirred through.

The odor was nauseating enough to force a wince upon Takasugi’s features the second he was offered that cup. Although he lacked the expertise to distinguish what it was, he presumed the mysterious green liquor that reeked of fish to be his medicine. If the scent was this pungent, one could only imagine how horrid the taste ought to be.

“Quite the opposite.” He said, cringing at the first sip. Awfully bitter, as expected. “That’s a foul attempt at finishing me off.”

“You seem well enough to be joking around. That’s a relief, I daresay.”

Shoving as much of that intolerable tea down his throat as he could, Takasugi was about to place the cup onto his nightstand when the sharp pain originating from his torso sent him flying back. He looked down, faced with the sight of his bare body engulfed in multiple layers of gauze, leaving little to no skin uncovered.

“That bad, huh…” He exclaimed in a quiet voice.

“The Harusame left.” Bansai began, claiming the cup from his hands. “Our assailants turned out to be rogues from a recently disbanded lower division. The Elders disposed of them, and the second they heard of our potential alliance, they wished to flunk it out of spite. A frail attempt to prove their usefulness over ours in the name of pity vengeance.”

“Or a final attempt at retaliation by men who know their expiration date is due. Shouldn’t impact our dealings with the Elders, especially when word gets out we took care of their trash for them.”

Admittedly, he had no right to make light of them when his actions rivaled theirs in stupidity, though that didn’t prevent him from scorning as he stilled himself against the wall.

“Any casualties?”

“About a dozen. Nothing you need to worry about.” Bansai assured.

“Recruits?”

“Shinsuke, we both know you couldn’t care less about a handful of inexperienced farmers meeting an early demise. What is it that you wish to know?”

Perhaps he wasn’t discreet enough for his nitpicking to go unnoticed. Bansai was right. He wasn’t interested in the slightest about what happened to soldiers he knew next to nothing about. What he was actually trying to find out, what had been gnawing at him this whole time, was that whisper from before, the one that desperately begged for him to stay.

“Fine. What became of that specter of mine?” He asked in a forced nonchalant tone.

“She survived.” Bansai said.“Considering the damage in the lower floors, she was moved to a room on this floor, I believe.”

At least him getting stabbed wasn’t for nothing. At least you were safe.

“I saw you two fight side by side. That girl, she doesn’t have a tempo of her own, I daresay.”

His brow quirked at his friend’s comment. He could already see where this was going, and truthfully, explaining the 5-year old story between you two was the last of his priorities.

“I’ve known you long enough to recognize your score, Shinsuke. This is your doing, is it not?”

“Too bad she can’t follow it.” Takasugi scoffed, though he’d be lying if he said he felt no pride.

The foolish girl who could barely hold a sword when they first met, was finally putting up a fight of her own. This was no small feat, especially when one considers your starting point. It was because of him that you picked up a sword in the first place, and it was because of your own persistence that you managed to master the majority of the techniques he taught you. If anything, such a feat should be celebrated.

“Shinsuke. What is that girl to you?” Bansai insisted.

Rather than answering his barrage of questions, Takasugi’s attention shifted back to the wooden cup that sat atop his nightstand. Downing the remaining medicine in one go, he was greeted with a far more pleasant taste than before.

“I’m afraid you’d need something far more bitter than death itself to get me to talk, Bansai.”

You’d lost count of how many sunrises and sunsets you’d witnessed coloring the achromatic sky, only to fade past ashen clouds of gray. In this planet where the sun glowed a vibrant turquoise color and its never-ending downpours corroded the terrain below, counting these subtle changes was your only way of grounding.

How many days has it been? How long has it been since you last saw his face and heard his voice? Your memory was as foggy as the window your fingertips touched upon, embroidering the glass with imagery of vacant stars and chipped moons that lacked meaning. This numbness was intolerable, and so was this waiting. For all you knew, his light was already extinguished, leaving nothing but a hollow void in its place.

In all these days that’d gone by, you hadn’t heard a single whisper regarding his condition. Whether he’d managed to survive, or fallen in that battle, no one bothered disclosing any information to you. And why should they? You were the very reason their leader ended this way. If anything, they should be escorting you towards your execution, not providing you with clean sheets and answers.

No matter how you looked at it, it was all because of your own incompetence. If you hadn’t interfered, then Takasugi would be free to mow through the enemy troops without any distractions getting in the middle. You thought that this once you could be an asset, though you regrettably ended as nothing more than a liability he felt entitled to protect.

Why was it that he saved you? Why was it that you saved him?

Such were the thoughts that plagued your mind all the while you stared outside the window. Your fingers insisted on drawing unruly lines that little by little came to resemble the characters of his name. For so long, you dared not speak that sound, lest you trip back in another of your nightmares, yet you were now desperately clinging to it, to him.

No one in their right mind would ever choose to harbor such profound emotions for the man who inked their life. He’d given you more than enough reason to abhor him, still your heart ached at the mere possibility of losing him.

From your beginning to his ending, against all odds and sensibility, you remained inevitably in love with that man and that man only. Shinsuke.

His name looked so pretty among the raindrops, you noted with a sorrowful smile as you watched it slowly getting erased.

You really were an idiot.

By the time you retrieved your hand, humidity had spread to your fingers, reminding you of how persistently his blood adhered to your skin. There had to be another way. Rather than washing blood with more blood, rather than spiraling further into this pointless vendetta, there had to be a way for the both of you to walk away unscathed without defiling your father’s memory in the process.

It was your duty to avenge him and restore your family’s honor. That’s what being a filial daughter entailed, though perhaps you were never meant to be one. The name you carried was too heavy for your puny hands to bear, and so was this sword. You realized that the moment you witnessed Takasugi’s right eye fall shut.

Revenge wouldn’t bring your father back, nor would it offer you peace of mind. If anything, it would rip every last bit of humanity you had left into shreds, just like a vicious beast would, just like it happened with him. For better or worse, there was no way to change the past, but the future had yet to come. If you were to keep moving forward, then you needed to seal that door for good. You needed answers.

Your feelings and revenge; it was about time you settled them both, assuming it wasn’t too late to do so.

“How did it feel? Getting your first real taste of blood?” The voice of the man you feared you’d never get to see nor hear again asked.

Instinctively, you rose to your feet, your palms quick to suppress a gasp. He was alive. He was really alive.

Unlike the last image you had of him, Takasugi was now clean of blood, with the sole trace of conflict being that of the bandages peaking underneath his light purple yukata. He donned a weary expression, though that didn’t keep him from flaunting a smirk as he shut the door behind him.

“You look as if you’ve seen a ghost.” He said, hinting at your lack of answer.

He was right. Ever since he’d walk in the room, you couldn’t help but gawk at his semi-exposed chest, silently counting each row of gauze on him. There were so many of them. Too many. You thought that seeing him again would help reduce your worry, but if anything, it’d only amplified your guilt. It was all your fault. How could you even insist on cursing him when he was subjected to such pain because of you?

“I thought you were dead.” You admitted in a quiet tone.

“Takes more than just a scratch to off me.” He shrugged.

“This is hardly a scratch!” You snapped, surprising the both of you. “Is this the life you meant to live? Is this what you want to do? I thought you wanted to destroy the world, how are you supposed to do that from the other side?”

You came to regret these words immediately. Not because they were untrue or because you didn’t mean them, but because of the way he was now looking at you. His lips were pressed in a straight line to what appeared to be a rather apologetic expression. It was almost as if he genuinely felt sorry for what he did, and he should be. But still, you had no right to preach about his safety when you’d neglected your own, when you’d been the first to point a sword at his neck.

“Didn’t realize I had an enemy who cared this much.” He mumbled, joining you by the window.

“The only thing you’ll end up destroying is yourself, Takasugi, and that’s too good of a punishment for someone like you.”

You could have sworn you saw a small smile tremble upon his lips just as he brought a finger to the glass, swiping past your smudged doodles. Other than a couple of fingerprints, thankfully nothing remained imprinted.

“Is that so?” He asked with a tilt of his head. “Say, Y/N. You are no longer the weak little girl I trained all these years back, the one who struggled holding a sword in hand. How many was it that you killed? Three?” His finger drew three straight lines. “Or was it five of them?” He went on, completing the tally mark. “You’ve proved yourself as someone who has no reservation when it comes to killing strangers, still why do you hesitate to kill me?”

This was the question you’d feared the most, especially when you were more than familiar with the answer. How could you possibly tell him that it was all because of your stupid heart that simply wouldn’t quit beating for him? He’d definitely mock you, but worse, you’d end up mocking yourself. As long as you kept that information, then you could still save some face.

“It’s not honorable to go for a man’s head while they are down.” You replied in a stern tone, refusing to meet his gaze.

“Oh?” He chuckled. “I didn’t take you for the type to uphold such values, Y/N. But then again, an honorable woman wouldn’t go back on her word, would she? Sate my curiosity. What made you fight in my name? What made your precious tears soak my face?”

The conversation between you started to dangerously resemble a tightrope. One slip was all it’d take for you to fall to your demise, and you’d always been prone to imbalance.

“Not until you answer my questions. Why would someone as illustrious as the great Takasugi Shinsuke choose to save the life of a girl he despises?” You countered, attempting to pass the buck a final time. “You said it yourself. All Jouishishi have to spare for Bakufu and their families is sheer hatred and animosity, so why would you spare me? At the cost of your own life, why did you protect me?”

“I’m not obligated to answer that.”

“Then I’m not obligated to answer your questions either.” You sneered.

“I asked you first!” He huffed.

“And I asked you second. Don’t bring petty arguments into this.”

Bit by bit, you could tell Takasugi was losing his patience. With the way his foot repeatedly grazed the floor, and the murderous intent he directed at the rain, he found it hard to keep his composure.

“Don’t assume I did it to protect you.” He caved in, balancing his shoulder against the sill. “I just did what I had to do for your aspiration to live one more day. The vow you made to cut me down isn’t one to be taken lightly.”

“I should be grateful then! My apologies, I forgot to take a bow.” You said, mocking him as you bent forward.

“Your turn to answer. Why did you not take that chance to end things?”

There was no way for you to keep avoiding confrontation . Unless you gave him what he sought after, he’d insist on cornering you until you yielded to his will.

“I,” You began, unsure of how to continue. “don’t know.”

A brief moment of quietness followed as he turned his back to the window. He eyed you from head to toe as if you were the one at fault, his green orb silently convicting you for your crime of perjury. You hated how you kept proving him right, yet how could you not lie to him under such conditions?

“Y/N, have you perhaps forgotten what you came here to do?” He prompted in an accusatory tone. “Have you lost sight of who your enemy really is?

“In case you need a reminder, I was the one who ruined your life. The one who corrupted you, the one who killed everyone you loved, the one responsible for your downfall. The one who did all those things was me. I am your enemy, Y/N.”

“You think I don’t know?” You raised your voice, stomping your foot as loudly as you could.

“I know I should hate you, but I… I don’t know.” You admitted defeat.

Why did he have to be this cruel? All along, he must have known of the way you looked at him, of how weak he made you feel, so why did he feel entitled to hear these words? Why can’t you keep these feelings to yourself, why do you need to humiliate yourself like this?

“You know, he begged.” Takasugi stated with malice, taking a step closer. “When he realized what was about to happen, the dignified Lord Tsugaru dropped to his knees and begged for mercy. I guess neither status nor nobility amount much in the face of death.”

“Takasugi!” Sheer fury led you to grab him by the hem of his yukata, causing him to stumble forward.

You could feel tears poking at the corner of your eyes as you stared into his own. He knew just how to press your buttons, stabbing you where you’d bleed the most for his entertainment, despite his expression failing to match his words. If anything, he appeared just as pained as you were, making you wonder whether this could be another of his cheap tricks. That was until you realized the reason behind his wincing.

At the sight of his bloodied bandages, you had no choice, but to let go of him. Could this also be a lie? Even when his words aimed to hurt you, could his pain be fake?

Aware of your reaction, Takasugi did his best to conceal his injury from you, raising the fabric above it and replacing his recoil with another of his crooked smiles. You could only imagine how many times he’d done the same before others. How many times he’d rejected his own pain, how many times he’d endured it, how many times he’d brushed it off with a smile or a shrug, how many times he’d wallowed in such misery all by himself.

Stupid. If it hurts this much, then say so.

His pride wouldn’t let him stay in the same room with you anymore, and so he turned his back on you, only to be stopped by your words.

“There is one person that you didn’t kill. The man I hate, the boy I loved. That person is still alive, and it’s you, Takasugi. It’s always been you.”

An emerald orb peaked from beneath the dark amethyst as he glanced at you from over his shoulder, urging you to go on.

“Watching you fight I realized that I wanted to cross blades with you one more time. Be it as enemies or not, I wanted to fight you one more time. Whether you lost, whether I won, it wouldn’t matter. All I wanted was to call you my enemy one last time. To call you by that name one last time, Shinsuke.”

His name was tainted by a sob, each word feeling harder to voice than the previous one. Everything you’d kept hidden from him, slowly unraveled.

“It’s funny, isn’t it? You are the reason I lost everything, yet I cannot bring myself to fully hate you. All it takes is one act of kindness, and I’m willing to forsake all you’ve done. Whether I love you or hate you, I don’t even know anymore.”

You paused to brush the back of your palms against your eyelids. For so long, you’d struggled to keep these tears from shedding in his presence, yet now the cold rain felt as if it wouldn’t cease to drop.

All you wanted was to go back. Even if just for a day, even if just for a moment, you desperately wanted to go back and repeat the emotions of the past, whether that meant laying it all under the sun, or seeing the end of this never-ending downpour with him.

“But what I do know is that I’m not the only screw up here.” You spelled in between sniveling.

“For so long, I wondered why you defended me against those Joui rebels. ‘Maybe he did it out of pity. Maybe he wanted to keep throwing dust in my eyes. Maybe he wanted to have a good laugh over the girl who was so obviously head over heels for him.’ I considered each and every one of those possibilities, but looking at the past, that wasn’t the case was it? You murdered my father and all that served us, but you spared both me and Harumi. Why was that? Out of pity? Sense of obligation? Or spite even? Again, I had no answer. Twice might be a coincidence, but what about thrice?

“No matter how many times I ask myself, I can’t seem to understand why someone like you would toss their life’s work with no hesitation to save someone as unimportant to them as me. No matter how I look at it, there is no reason for you to do that, unless you really are the kind of reckless idiot who thought that playing the role of the hero would help redeem yourself overnight.

“So what is it, Shinsuke? I’ve showed you my cards, isn’t it high time you showed me yours?”

Now that everything was laid bare, you felt no fear weighing you down. All the words you never spoke to him, everything he never got the chance to hear before, was out there. Perhaps nothing good would come from your confession. Perhaps the answers he had would come to finish you off. Perhaps he’d draw his blade and do it himself, though that didn’t matter. Knowing you weren’t a mere drizzle for him to dismiss was good enough.

“You are right.” His words caught you off guard when you realized that he was now standing right before you, extending both hands towards your face. “The role of the hero never suited me.”

Rather than being agitated over your accusations, Takasugi’s lips curved to a soft smile as his palms took hold of your cheeks. You’d forgotten how that felt like, and so you let him, standing still even as he wiped the tears with calloused thumbs. You weren’t sure if the rain had come to an end, or if he was simply shielding you from it.

“But what should I do? I don’t think I can play that role any longer.”

Before you had the chance to ask what he meant by that, the flood came pouring back in as his lips found yours, washing you ashore with a feeling unbeknownst to you. Was it hatred? Was it anguish, or was it love? Maybe it was a combination of everything all at once, though it mattered not. Such a visceral feeling was too strong for you to ignore, and so you gave in.

Your hands reached his amidst the darkness of your eyes, holding onto him as if he were the only solid thing for you to grasp. A familiar kind of giddiness effaced every doubt in your mind the moment you got a taste of him, one that you’d all but forgotten in all these years of absence. How could you live without this, you wondered. How could you go on for so long without him?

Every answer he failed to put into words, his kiss put into action until it became apparent that this man shared the same longing you did. You could feel it in the way his fingers continuously soothed over your skin, in the way his lips moved so gently yet full of certainty against yours, in the way his tongue spelled apologies within your mouth.

“This is my reason.” Takasugi exasperated, his parted lips threatening to draw you back in.

It was only then that you realized the consequences of following your heart. This was a mistake, the biggest one you could make, but what was there left for you to do? When your body chose to obey his only, when your heart beat solely to his rhythm, when your soul was bound to his own?

“Why did it have to be you?” You sighed, leaning further into his touch.

“I ask myself the same.” He said, caressing you carefully as if your skin were porcelain. “Why did you have to be his daughter? Though perhaps if you weren’t, we’d never meet. Perhaps that’d be for the best.”

You nodded, feeling another tear slip past your shut eyelids and onto his fingers. Why was the only thing you could ever afford to share heartbreak?

Seeing how nothing remained unspoken between you, Takasugi was the first to part away, allowing your hands to drop by your sides, before pacing towards the door.

“This won’t get me to forgive you.” You declared, unconsciously tracing your bottom lip with your tongue right where his had touched.

“I don’t recall asking for forgiveness.” He shrugged without giving you a single look.

“That kiss suggests otherwise.” You said in an urgent tone, the type to force a sigh out of him. “I’m the kind of fool who trusts in what their eyes see and what their ears hear. The actions I never saw, the words I never heard, how can I believe in them? I’d rather place my trust in your kiss. I’d rather believe in the Takasugi Shinsuke who time and time again chose to save me.

So stop hiding behind your cryptic words and dubious smiles, and show me. Tell me. I want to-, no, I deserve to know the truth. If you don’t want me to forgive you, then fine. I’ll spent my entire life resenting you, but if I’m to hate someone for that long, then you should give me every reason to do that until my heart stops wavering in your presence. Give me the truth, Shinsuke.”

“Knowledge won’t end your suffering.” He cautioned.

“Perhaps you’re right. But I can’t stand being left in the dark anymore. The truth behind you and my father, the truth behind us. I want to know everything. Please.”

With a grave expression, Takasugi turned around to face you a final time. You could see it in is eye that although he wished not to engage in such difficult discussions, he too realized this could no longer be postponed. Scoffing, he beckoned for you to follow as he exited the room.

Rather than sealing the door behind, all you ever had to do was push it open.

#killing butterflies #takasugi shinsuke #takasugi #takasugi gintama #takasugi shinsuke x reader #takasugi x reader #takasugi reader #takasugi angst #takasugi fanfiction #takasugi imagine #gintama imagine #gintama fanfiction #gintama angst

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midnight-dreamerness · 3 years

Text

Savior

Chapter 2: Finding Strength

(This is NOT my gif. Credit to the creator <3)

series summary: when your protector returns, he finds you broken and abused and helps you climb out of the darkness

chapter summary: you finally have had enough and you find the strength to escape

pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

warning: mentions of death, acts.mentions of abuse, mentions of self harm

word count: 2.1k

Quitting the job you love was really hard. After your brother died you got back together with Kade after a short break in the relationship, you moved in with him. You didn’t have the best relationship with your parents, and it only got worse when Danny, your brother, died while overseas.

You walked into the apartment, your head bowed trying to hide the tears threatened to spill down your cheeks. He’s already home, you saw his car in his usual spot in the parking garage when you pulled in. You could also make out the sound of the tv playing in the living room.

You headed towards the bedroom until he called your name, making you turn and slowly make your way into the living room.

“Did you do it?”

There are empty beer bottles everywhere along with a half empty bottle of whiskey sitting on the coffee table. You sighed but nodded nonetheless, playing with the hem of your blouse.

“Good. Start cleaning. This place is a mess.”

And you did what he said, all day. He made you scrub the floor down with a scrubbing brush. You had to clean every inch of the apartment, while picking up the trash he left behind him all day. When night came, you had officially cleaned everything and cooked him dinner. You sat down at the table, ready to eat after not having breakfast or lunch all day.

“What are you doing? You think you deserve to eat? No. You're going to sit there and think about what you did.”

With sad eyes and an ache in your stomach, you didn’t fuss. You didn’t even say a word. You didn’t want him to see you cry so you held it in as much as you could. You hold back sobs, it creates a burning feeling in your chest and throat.

After you got home yesterday, Kade had been enraged. Accused you of cheating, he didn’t even mention you telling Jay about the abuse. It was worse because it was Jay. He knew your background, and how you fell in love with him when you were younger. Last night's memories were fuzzy after that. All you can remember was the agonizing pain and the god awful headache you had after he slammed your head against the kitchen counter. Kade has made you quit your job, you weren’t sure why.

Kade wipes his mouth with a cloth once he’s finished eating. “I try to be nice to you. But you test me. Every single day, you test me.” He stands from his seat at the table, coming closer and closer to you. You look up at him pleading with your eyes.

“Worthless. Pathetic. Get up.”

You do as you're told and stand up. He roughly grabs your arms, dragging you down the hall. You think he’s heading towards the bedroom but he stops at the hallway bathroom. He opens it and tosses me inside.

“This is your new room now. You should get comfortable,” he snarls. You're on the ground now, groaning. He takes the chance and shoves his foot into your chest.

When will it stop! When is enough, enough for him? Why am I not good enough? What did I do that made him so violent?

These things run through your head as he continues his abuse. Pain and suffering, blood and tears are things you have gotten used to.

It’s an hour later when he stops, wiping the sweat from his forehead as he stares down at you in disgust. You look at him weakly and in pain. You're almost positive you need medical attention, but you say nothing.

“Cheating whore,” he spits. With one final look, he’s gone. The sound of the kick in the bathroom door clicking, only making more tears pool in your eyes.

What has my life come to? When did it get this bad? How did I let it get this bad?

The bathroom floor was ice cold, even with a towel laid underneath you, you were still freezing. You know he bumped the temperature down, torturing you even when he wasn’t at home. You twirled the card between your fingers. His name sticking out along with his number.

Deceive Hay Halstead.

You remember fourteen year old you, rushing into your brothers room where he and Jay were playing video games. You remember how excited you were when you told the both of them you got the lead role in your dance group.

“I’m so proud of you,” Jay had exclaimed.

You wondered if he would be proud of you now.

Would he?

There’s so much history between you and Jay, a lot of things your brother never knew about, and now he never will.

It’s been days since you saw him. You can still see his smile and his perfect white teeth as he spoke to you. You can still feel his body against yours from that day he had you against the wall.

You should’ve told him. You're filled with regret. He could’ve helped you get out.

I wouldn’t be in this stupid bathroom if I had agreed to let him help me.

You could’ve called him the day he made you quit your job. You could’ve driven off, anywhere. Somewhere, where Kade couldn’t find you.

Yet, here you are. You have a few - a lot - new bruises that have replaced the old ones. There’s still a harsh pain in your chest and your stomach from not having eaten in days. You know it’s been at least a week.

He comes and goes. Sometimes you can hear giggles pass down the hallway to your shared bedroom. Then…you can hear him pleasing other women in your bed. The ones he would love you on, on good days.

But no…he is with other women while the woman he should be with is withering away down the hall.

You didn’t scream, you should’ve. You know that now. You were scared he would kill you or those girls. You wouldn’t have been able to live with yourself if something happened to them because of you and your stupidity.

So you sucked it up.

It’s been two weeks. Yesterday had to be one of the worst days. You recall the rage burning like fire in his eyes. He was angry, more than usual. Something must’ve happened. Either way, there’s no excuse for what he did.

The cuts along your back sting like hell. You begged him to stop, and it was a mistake. You should’ve let him beat you till it was out of his system for the night. If it’s even possible, he got angrier. He threw you into the bathroom counter, your back crashing into the mirror, causing it to shatter agains you. Your thigh had hit the faucet, creating a huge bruise on the back of it, but nothing hurt worse than the pain in your heart.

“Pathetic slut,” he snapped before walking out, locking the door behind him.

You sit on the floor only a day later, staring at yourself through the glossy flooring. A large shard of glass sat next to you, your eyes wander to it ever so often. It tempts you. Taunts you like a clear voice in your head.

“Do it.” It would say.

Then you would hear the sound of his voice. Familiar, warm, and inviting. Your heart aches. You miss him.

You can see him at the elevator, waiting for it to open while he looks at you.

“You’re strong. Remember that.”

You wonder why you pushed him away. Why you don’t let yourself trust the one man, that still lives, that would never hurt you.

A sob racks through your body as you pick up the large piece of the mirror and throw it across the room. An aggravated scream leaves you as you stand up with trembling legs.

How could I let this happen? Why didn’t I ask for help? The abuse has gone on for three years.

Your throughts were only “why” and “what if’s.”

He’s taken everything from you. Ripped you from your friends, your old life. You didn’t even notice at the time. You just needed someone. You followed him blindly. He told you you only needed him. Nothing - no one else.

I lost myself trying to please him.

You decided you're done letting him win. You're done letting him control your life. Your choices were dying here in this bathroom helplessly, or die trying to get out. You chose the latter.

You searched around the room in a haste, looking for anything to break the doorknob off. Your eyes trained on the top of the toilet. You take it off, arms falling at the weight. You are weak from the two weeks with no food, but you still find it in yourself to raise it over your head and lm it down in the knob.

You weren’t sure the exact time, but Kade would be home soon. So you knew you had to hurry

One hit didn’t seem to do it, so you raise it again and with a grunt, you use all your strength to slam it back down again. Your mouth falls open in surprise when the knob falls to the floor with a loud clanking noise.

It took you a moment, but you dropped the lid and rushed out of the bathroom. You made your way to the home phone, picking it up with shaky hands.

You're hit with a wave of dizziness, but you still dial the number you now know by heart. You were filled with hope when he answered after a couple of rings.

“Halstead.”

“JJ?”

There was a silence on the other end of the phone for a second, but soon he repeats your name.

“I want out. P-Please help me,” you beg, tears streaming down your face as you pathetically spike.

“Address. I need an address.”

The sound of the front door unlocking catches your attention. Your body goes ridged, frozen in place.

Jay repeats your name a couple of times.

“No. No,” you mutter as you begin to back away.

“Hey! What’s going on? I need an address, sweetheart.”

You somehow manage to tell him the address with a, “please hurry,” at the end. You hang up, throwing the phone to the side. You're filled with dread as Kade stumbles into the room, pulling at his tie. You're starting to regret what you just did.

Kade narrows his eyes, ripping his tie from his neck.

“How the hell did you get out?”

He stalks towards you, and although your first instinct is to run, you stay put. You're done taking the abuse.

“I’m done, Kade. We’re done.” You stand your ground, head held high and a new found confidence in your words. He laughs. It’s evil and sickening.

“We’re done? I say when we’re done!” He exclaims, his hand rising and connecting with your face before you had the chance to move. You fall to the floor from the power of the slap. Although you act confident and strong, you're weak. Two weeks without food would be the cause. It didn’t help that you were still in pain from the most recent beating.

You let out a cry as he pulls your hair back with a huff. “When will you learn?” He asked, pulling your head back so you were facing him.

“You look pathetic,” he laughs. You're slapped in the face once more before being dragged towards the kitchen by your throat. You grabbed at him, your instincts kicking in.

“God, your stupid,” he spat, shoving you into the table. Your eyes widen as you feel your skirt, the same one you’ve worn for two weeks now, being pulled around your hips. You felt hopeless now. You only hoped Jay would be here soon.

“At least you're good for something.” You heard him mutter before the sound of his zipper being undone filled your ears. You clamped your legs together and attempted to move, but it was no use. He overpowered you easily. You cried softly as he moved closer and held you down with a deadly grip on your bruised and cut back.

There’s a knock on the door that paused Kade’s actions. He hissed and pulled away, fixing himself.

“Who the hell did you call? Did you call someone?”

The look of fury in his eyes was enough to have you cowering in fear. A scream rips from your throat as he grabs you by your hair again.

“CPD! Open up!” You heard his familiar voice. The same voice you heard as you laid on the bathroom floor.

Kade’s grip on you tightens. “I’m going to kill you, you little bitch.”

A/N: Small cliffhanger? Yep. Chapter 3 should be out Tusedsy! If you want added to the Saviors taglist let me know!

@miranada0102 @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @kelelas-life

(Not sure why some of these didn’t work.)

#chicago pd #chicago pd imagines #jay halstead #jay halstead imagines #jay halstead x reader #one chicago #detective jay halstead #jay halstead one shots #chicago pd x reader #dom jay halstead

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rcksmith · 4 years

Text

Heaven — Five Hargreeves

Request: “Can I get 53, 31, 48 from fluff and 28 and 29 and 68 with heavy smut? Where Five is an emotionless Assassin from the commission and does his job without remorse or mercy until he meets the reader and he will do anything to make her his? And will kill anyone who gets in his way between him and the reader? If your okay with this!”

Fluff prompts:

31. “I wasn’t lying when I said that I loved you.”

48. “nothing else matters except for you.”

53. “There are no limits when it comes to you. I’ll do anything to keep you safe.”

Smut prompts:

28. “Such a needy little thing, aren’t you?”

29. “I didn’t know you were so sensitive.”

68. “Say my name over and over again and, once you think you’ve said it loud enough, scream it. I want the whole neighborhood to know who’s making you feel good.“

A/N: We not tolerate any pedophilia here !!

I write about Five with their 20s. I write the same about the characters of Harry Potter.

My God, I loved it so much!! Thank you so much for request, I loved writing it!💖💖 I hope you like!

Guys, I really understand who doesn’t feel comfortable reading or writing Five’s smut. But I always say that I only write with him (any genre: romance, fluff or angst) with the notion that Five is 20 years old here. All of my fanfics mention swearing or sex, even if it is a memory or something shallow, but as I am writing with Five as an adult, it is consistent that the fic has aspects of an adult life.//

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are open. Love you ❤️

Couple: Five Hargreeves / Fem! Reader.

Warnings: SMUT, SMUT, bad words, blood, murder, mention of death (and sooo explicit heavy smut), fluff too.

— — — — —

He was not a saint.

The trail of blood, bodies and the smell of death he had left behind could terrify even the strongest mind. He could get the devil to run.

He has already broken many bones, but none of them were his own. Once, there was an army, he was alone, and he broke many bones.

He was not a saint.

If there was a note for death and danger, it would be his symphony of life. Echoing and constant whenever the viscous and metallic liquid stained him white shirt.

Five Hargreeves did not consider himself a good person. But he didn't think he was bad too. He was just minding his own business. Even if it meant killing the innocent people that the Commission was ordering.

It was ironic. Five had been raised by Reginald to be a hero, to save people, and what he was doing was just the opposite. Was Needed cold blood, a focused mind, an objective.

Five had a closed and serious countenance. And in his case, the book could very well be judged by the cover, because Five it was also closed and serious inside. He It had the typical soul of a storm and a rough sea, where the wind blew with fury and the rain punished, while the sea was brutal and with aggressive waves capable of swallowing up a city in its entirety.

Anyone could see the warning sign hanging from his chest: "GIVE UP ALL THE HOPE IF YOU ENTER HERE." He was advancing with heavy artillery. Five was heavy artillery. The Commission considered he best of the best.

Five Hargreeves could get the devil to run. Nobody couldn't fool him, hook him, he wasn't a trout. He was a shark, dangerous and big. With a sharp and cruelly intelligent mind. Working in an equally sharp and cruelly intelligent environment.

But none of that bothered him. Five did not fear the fury of the Commission or its representatives. Machiavelli said that: you can only insult the other if you are not afraid of his retaliation. And Five feared no one. When angry, he had the same caustic look that Lucifer threw around shortly after The Fall. And it was a surprise that that look did not leave a trail of rubble wherever it passed.

Five did not liked what he job did, but it did not affect that he was very good at it. He had been anesthetized for years. Submerged in an inertia of emotions that not even the largest number of victims could tremble. He was already convinced that his furthermore emotions were buried as deep as possible in his soul of the troubled sea, lost. Such as Atlantida. Perhaps, like Atlandida, his emotions were a myth.

And Five had already accepted that. Even he sets eyes on you.

It was another routine day of that profane work: finding the target, shooting down, not leaving witnesses and leaving. And that was exactly what would be done. If it was not you.

Five was seated at one of the tables at a local Irish bar, the glass filled with cold beer set in front of him. The rays of the sun, from a year that he did not even care to know more about, were entering inside the large windows that overlooked the busy streets. People's humorous conversations filled that place with bright, welcoming walls, but Five felt none of it. Anesthetized.

But for some reason, when the door bell rang when someone came in, he raised his face towards the door and... his breath was gone.

The moment you walked through that door, Five knew it was hopeless for him. Your beauty was blinding. Sublime. Impressive. He felt as if his whole life had been wandering in the desert and finally found his oasis. Lepid, fierce heat swept Five's body from the top of his head with night-black hair to the tip of his feet.

You wandered your eyes around the place, and you seemed to find what you wanted because your eyes softened and you went towards your goal.

But just as Five was oblivious to the world because of you, so were you oblivious to the world, but for something else. And it was like this, oblivious, that you hit your waist on the front end of Five's table, causing his glass to swing and fall on the table, pouring all the beer on the floor. Five stood up quickly to keep from getting wet, but a few splashes of the cold drink had hit his suit.

“Oh my God, I'm so sorry!”

You said promptly, trembling hands quickly lifting the glass from the table, your voice nervous and embarrassed. You righted his table while the waitress came to clean up the spilled liquid.

“I wet your suit, god, I'm so sorry.” And when Five noticed,your hands were drying the beer droplets with a napkin.

That was when the two of you looked at each other for the first time. The heat immediately gave way to a cold sweat.

Something inside him stirred and woke up, something that had been dormant for years. Sensations that had never before appeared now snaked through his body, waiting for the best time to hang him. Even with a layer of clothing and a napkin, Five felt the warmth of you touch, and he wondered if you had been forged in the sun.

Dangerous. The sensations you aroused in him were dangerous. And therefore, you were dangerous.

“It's all right.”

If it had been anyone else, Five would have burst. His moods were not one of the best and he felt that anything could set him on fire.

But apparently, not for you.

That afternoon, Five convinced you to join him, saying, whit charming, he would forget about the incident if you sat with him.

He tried to convince himself not to do that, that he should just give a mocking smile and leave. He had done this millions of times, and he knew it was one of the best ways to avoid headaches. Even so, the smile didn't come and he couldn't turn his back on you.

The sensations you stirred up in him were addictive, and Five was lost in a hurricane, trying to understand what was happening to him. But he couldn't let you go. Not without knowing his name.

But it took on proportions that he never considered. You were funny, witty, with an intelligent, warm gleam in your eyes. At that moment, while Five found himself really enjoying someone's company instead of just tolerating it, he felt out of his own body.

God, he was losing track of reality.

He had a job to do, a person to finish. The list was full but... but his body didn't order any muscles to move. It was like... while you were talking to him, with an extraordinary friendliness and ease of making friends, he felt alive for the first time.

Five had been alive for 25 years. But only now did he feel his own heart beat.

But when your time inevitably came, and you said goodbye and thanked you for the lunch that Five and you had — he didn't even remember how the situation got there. Since when did he have lunch with someone? — As soon as you left for that door, it took with you all the new feelings that were aroused within him.

Executing the target that day was weird, going to Motel's room was weird, and cleaning the blood was weird. There was something different, a shortness of breath, an itch in the palm of his hand, his body desperate for something he didn't know what it was.

Five Hargreeves stayed in that martyrdom for days, weeks. He was trying to understand his own body, his own mind. He felt he was losing his sanity and that the body, now that he experienced what it was like to be alive, repudiated the feeling of feeling dead.

He was trapped in some damn spell that you had cast on him. If Five looked in the mirror at the place of the chest you touched over his shirt, he could feel his skin tingle.

Fuck, he was losing his sanity!

The situation was stupid, he didn't need anyone, he didn't depend on anyone. But after the second week Five found himself returning to that bar again, feeling completely stupid to be looking for someone he barely knew.

What a stupid thing. He said to himself as soon as entered that place.

But that's when he saw you. With the bar uniform on, you hair tied up in a ponytail with a few strands dangling from your face, your chest slightly heaving, a pad of paper with a pen in hands. His heart skipped a beat, as if he found something he didn't even know was lost.

Five felt lost amidst a jumble of thoughts and reactions. But as soon as you saw him, with a smile was purely sincere and happy appearing on you lips and went towards him, the answers to all the questions that plagued him for weeks flashed in his mind like neon lights:

I want her.

He wanted you since the day he saw you. You were beautiful, with a maddening body, a sublime smile and the heat of a thousand suns. Now Five realized that had never wanted anything so desperately in his life.

Five thought he understood the desire: an attraction, a magnetic current between two people. He thought he knew what lust was: an intense hunger, a strong yearning. And he found out that he didn't understand anything.

For when you embraced him and greeted him with a kiss on the cheek, the desire was a hot, black whirlwind that ripped you from end to end, with dizzying speed, and dragged you towards perdition, below any intellect. Five thought he was going crazy when he felt your heart beat next to his, in the same frantic rhythm. The same compass needed.

But Five was not going crazy. He wasn’t crazy when he saw your cheeks flush when he looked at you more carefully, he wasn’t crazy when he noticed your hands trembling slightly with his presence.

Were you feeling the same things?

Yes. And he found that out when first kissed you. It had been a few weeks since he had used, for himself, the excuse that he was going to that bar just to drink something and not to see you again.

But that was not how you two met that day

Five had just finished a job that did not end soo much great. A fight had taken place, and a bullet had grazed his left shoulder, tearing through the flesh. His clothes were flooded with red, thick, metallic liquid. His muscles ached and the wound stung like hell.

He was on his way back when the car popped loudly, the car stalled in place and smoke began to rise from the bikes.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me!” Five punched the steering wheel, cursed the Commission for making such a damn fuck thing available.

He had just gotten out of the car when a car passed by and stopped.

“Five?” This time, his body throbbed for something else instead of pain.

He saw you get out of the car, your eyes shocked, the livid concern on your face, your hands shaking.

“My god, are you okay?!”

Five hated to appear that he was not able to deal with anything, but there was no plausible and peaceful lie to what you were seeing. You didn't let him make any decisions at that moment, you just stuck him in you own car, and when the chance of taking Five to the hospital had been vehemently denied by him, you ran the car to you own apartment.

“Oh my god, oh my god.”

You whispered to yourself, now at in your bed, closing the cut on Five's shoulder after he took a shower.

“I can do this.” He repeated it for the ninth time, but you shook your head.

But, while for you the situation was only for first aid, for Five it was torture in a very different sense.

Your touch was addictive, hot and fiery. Five didn't want to want you, but he did. He wanted you to beg for it too, so that Five could pretend to be in control. He wanted you to burn for him, just as he always burned when he was near you.

Under a light gauze, you covered the bruise on his shoulder, letting out a loud sigh that went to another very specific spot on Five's body. You asked for an explanation and he said that he had been mugged and reacted, but that the bandits had received what they deserved. He had to lie. At least for now. At least while he wanted you so much to touch him.

Perhaps this madness would pass.

But it didn't pass, your hands were still on Five's warm skin and he felt his heart pounding in his chest.

He wanted you. Holy Mother of God, he wanted you so fuck much! The knuckles of his fingers were whitened, the strength with which he clenched his fists.

But you whispered his name under your breath, as if you too were trapped in that cloud of lust and passion. So it was the end. Five kissed you, hungry, desperate, as if he wasn't going to have a tomorrow. He pulled you around the waist so you could sit on his lap, his hands roaming your body, squeezing all the flesh he could touch.

“I was asking how much more time was take to you to kiss me.”

You whispered against his lips, with a mischievous smile on your face, your hands roaming through his hair as you held a sigh when he adjusted your hips under you. God only knows how long you've been dreaming about this guy.

“Such a needy little thing, aren't you?” Five barely recognized his own voice.

This time, you who kissed him, your body burning in suppressed passion and desire, burning under the intense touch of Five. You hardly saw it when your shirt left, nor when you skirt went up until it was exposed to him. You whimpered, your lips going down to his neck and hiding your face there, squirming when his hand went up from your thigh to its pulsating center.

“Your skin is so hot. You were wishing for that, weren't you?” Five whispered, his voice hoarse.

You heart was beating fast in chest, cheeks were flushed, and Five brought your face up to look at him, lust bubbling in her eyes. You frantically agreed, rummaging you hips in him when you gasped. He curled his mouth over your left breast, groaning against your skin as you tightened your fingers on the back of his neck.

“F-five!” The liquid dripped from inside you to your thighs, and Five let out a loud moan of satisfaction when he saw it.

He raised his mouth to you, and, without kissing you, he sighed maliciously on yours lips: “I didn’t know you were so sensitive.”

After that point, everything became more crude. Five's touch on your waist gained pressure, marking your skin with purple marks on his fingers, his mouth bit and sucked on your breast, like a hungry man, and you were being driven crazy.

That's when two of his fingers entered you, deep, strong, opening your walls.

"Five!" You moaned loudly, your body hot under his lap, at the mercy of lustful desires.

“Shit! You are so tight!” His moan transcended between painful and angry, as if you were pushing him to the limit. “How are you going to put up with my dick, doll? You almost can't take my fingers!”

Five jerked his fingers inside you and hit rock bottom. You screamed, tears welling up in your eyes, the walls throbbing on his dick.

“Answer me!” His free hand came down on your thigh, and you bit your lip to keep from moaning loudly again.

“II am going to put up with you-everything.” You whined.

“How much?!” Five pulled your chin up to look at him, the hunger overwhelming his eyes, he's holding on as much as possible so he doesn't deal too badly with you.

Not yet.

“An-Anything as you give it to me.” You purred like a kitten "Fuck me hard, Five."

Oh you didn't say that.

His hand came down on your left cheek, letting out a soft slap and pulled your chin back at him, he jaw clenched by the effort he made to keep from fucking and hitting you so hard.

“Do you want it hard?! I will leave you without walking for days!” Five got up with you on his lap, threw you on the bed and slapped your thigh.

“Turn around!” He ordered in a snarl, removing his own pants, and as soon as you positioned yourself with your hips up and your face on the mattress, a hard, brutal slap made you moan loudly, squeezing your hands on the pillow.

The right hand wrapped around your hair, pulling your face off the pillow as Five positioned itself behind you.

“What you want?” He growled.

“I whant You fuck me hard!” God, you were begging, you needed him so much, you wanted him so much.

“How much hard?”

“Much! I want you to fuck me until I can't stay…”

Five came inside you brutally, pushing your body onto the mattress, making you moan loudly. He didn't let you finish, it barely gave you time to moan. As soon as he started to move, his rhythm became relentless, coarse, rude, forcing himself deeper inside you with each thrust.

Tears stung your face, you pussy throbbed in excitement, so fucking good that you felt like you were in heaven.

“What is it, lillet slut?” He pushed deeper, his voice arrogant and condescending, “Am I too big for you? For that tight pussy?” A slap went down your ass again, the other hand never coming out of your hair.

“F-fi-five! Please, I need this so much!”

The desperation in your voice did things to him, further igniting Five's desire to fuck you until he broke you.

“You were so tight! So. fucking. tight!” And you moaned and pushed him hips at him like you couldn't live without what he gave you. “Fuck, this is what you wanted, isn't it? You wanted me to broke you!”

“Yes!” You screamed as he keeping fuck you deeper and deeper “Pl-please!”

Your voice was too much for him! Five's hunger snarled and roared like a beast, increasing the desire to get you so badly. He hit your ass hard, letting go of your hair and sticking both hands on your waist, pulling you violently to his dick.

“Say my name over and over again! And, once you think you’ve said it loud enough, scream it. I want the whole neighborhood to know who’s making you feel good! ” Five combined a deep thrust with the tug on his waist, making his dick reach your unimaginable corners.

“Five!”

“Higher!” A slap.

“Five!” One more slap.

“Higher!” Another slap.

“F-FIVE!”

His mouth went to your shoulder, his lips tightening there as he pushed himself deep inside you. You were very close, super stimulated, your legs were shaking, your heart was pounding.

Five was fucking you so hard that you could barely groan, giving you sensations that you never felt before. You came with a loud groan, trembling on his dick, losing your breath when Five sank to the bottom of the well and came there, filling you with his hot cum.

Five Hargreeves thought that after that he would be free of your effects, freed from that desperation that was always wanting to be with you.

But then again, he was deeply mistaken.

Everything only increased in unimaginable proportions. Jealousy came, the overwhelming sense of protection, the need to be with you. Now he not only fucked you hard, but he made a point of leaving you at work and picking you up at night.

And that's when you said you loved him. And his world has turned inside out once again. Five didn't respond right away, he was dumbfounded and bewildered, and you said he only had to speak when he was ready.

He love you? That question hung around his mind for days.

Five felt at peace with you company, relaxed with your touch, happy whenever he heard your voice. You were the only place he thought about going back after a hard job, after the day had gotten the best of him.

He love you?

That was when The Handler told him, in one day, that it was good that his new “pet” did not make him deviate from the Commission's objectives.

Five has never felt so furious in his life. He came as close to her as possible, making her look death in the eye, and said that if any hair disappeared from your pretty head, he would stop everything and kill everyone on that commission. And The Handler knew that Five was not bluffing.

That's when he found out that he loved you. That the idea of seeing you hurt, even if it was a scratch, was unacceptable. And that's when Five realized that his world only revolved when you were with him.

“I love you.” He released that night, you were lying on his chest, watching some series on TV when Five cut off the characters' lines.

You looked at him in bewilderment, propping yourself up on your elbow to see him better.

“What?”

Five looked him in the eye, and in the most sincere and truthful way, he said: "nothing else matters except for you."

Your eyes filled with tears, and you kissed him as if Five were your whole world. In fact, he certainly were your world. But it was at that moment that he said he had to talk to you, and that's when he told you the whole truth.

Shocked would be an understatement to say what you felt at that moment.

It took a few days for you to digest the whole truth and several conversations with Five to understand what was really going on. You saw his powers, his briefcase, his life story. And Five knew, when the dust settled and you said that none of that mattered, that you really loved him.

“I just can't have anything with someone who hides things from me.” You said “ I understand the reasons why you didn't tell me before, but now I don't want any more lies between us.”

“None.” He smiled, and looked at you as if he finally understood that you loved him.

And it is logical that you noticed.

“ I wasn’t lying when I said that I loved you." You laughed.

And in that moment, in that fraction of a second, Five realized that he would never be able to live without you.

“I'm just afraid of your job. Whether you get hurt or they want to hurt you coming after me and…”

Five didn't let you finish. He held you in his hands, your cheeks in his palms, and whispered, “There are no limits when it comes to you. I'll do anything to keep you safe. ”

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nothing-but-dreamy · 3 years

Text

HAUNTED

Pairing: D:BH!CONNOR x HUMAN!READER (gender neutral)

Words: 4.058

Warnings: TRIGGER WARNING! mention of suicide; odd behavior; cursing; hurt - comfort;

A/N: Another day - another request...

I really hope you like it! Thanks again for your idea.

Synopsis: You are a Detective of the DPD and had worked many cases with Hank. Until something went utterly wrong. Since then, you get haunted by your past until you see only one last way out. Luckily, Connor is there to help you.

"You know you don't have to do this.", you said serious.

Sara pulled the wire of the bug underneath her shirt before it got taped on her back, "Yes, but I want to. I have to. I owe it to my sister to do this. She shall find peace finally and like the Lieutenant said, me as her twin, I have the best chance to get this bastard. He doesn't know that she's dead. Therefore, I'm your best chance to get the information you need, Detective."

"Detective..."

"Detective."

"Detective, YLN!"

As if awakening from a deep trance like state, you focused back on reality as your name got called out. Haunted by your typical dark memories, you hadn't even noticed where you were. Slowly, you opened your eyes. The owner of the calm male voice stood on the outside of your car, next to the window of the driver seat, and looked concerned at you through the glass.

You blinked several times. The sun, which already fell through your windshield because it stood so high in the morning sky, made you blind for several moments and as you moved, you noticed your aching back and neck from sleeping in the car in an unhealthy position. Obviously, you had knocked yourself out with booze again.

"Detective YLN, my name's Connor. I'm your new partner. I'm the android sent by CyberLi- I got sent from Captain Fowler to meet you. Rather, he sent me to find you because you missed a meeting this morning. And now, he wants to see you.", Connor said and watched you. Even if he had already learned a lot about human behavior from Hank, there were still some mysteries to solve.

Like: why are you sleeping in a car in a position that harms eighty percent of your muscle tissue through soreness and lets your bones and joints burn like fire when you move?

Or: why are you drunk this early in the morning-

"Hey, tin can! Shut the fuck up!", you shouted.

Connor stared at you in shock as he realized that he had asked the questions out loud instead of just thinking about them. A habit he started with as Hank had left the DPD to retire finally, "I'm sorry, Detective. I haven't notice-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah... what do you want, Carlos?", you asked, searching for your flask you couldn't find.

"My name's Connor, Detective. And as I said, Captain Fowl-"

"Oh, yeah... the meeting... right. Get in the car.", you ordered and even if Connor was sure that it wasn't a good idea for you to drive in the state you were, he also knew that any kind of discussion would lead to nowhere. He still knew that from his time with Hank.

Twenty minutes later, for a way that only took ten minutes usually, you, followed by Connor, entered the DPD which was crowded with androids, policemen and people who were complaining about some uninteresting nonsense. You made your way through all these people, trying to dodge as many colleagues as you could - but of course, one of them caught you. Like always.

"Hey, YN! This is the DPD and not some bar. You won't find any kind of booze around here."

"Just shut the fuck up, Reed! Or otherwise, I will tell everyone that you own some pair of bright pink panties- oh, upsi! My bad!", you called out, gleaming at him with a smirk. Everyone started to laugh.

Gavin stared at you with a hate-filled glance, he was fuming, "Fuck you!", he muttered.

"Oh, sweet. That's all you got, Reed?", you shot back with a grin.

But before Gavin could respond to anything, Captain Fowler stepped out of his office, "Detective YLN! In my office!"

"And? Who's laughing now?", Gavin said with a smirk and winked at you before he left the DPD to do some work.

Connor closed the door of the office behind him as you were inside. You walked over to the Captain's desk to sit down in one of the chairs but even without looking up you sensed the anger radiating from your boss. It was tangible in the air. Without asking, you took one of the fresh glasses on Fowler's desk to throw an aspirin into it. Then, you pulled out the flask you had found finally to fill the glass with a transparent liquid.

Fowler watched you, half shocked and half concerned, "What are you doing?"

"Taking an aspirin, Sir. I have a murderous headache."

"And what was in the flask if I may ask?"

"Vo- uhm... water. Just water, Sir.", you answered before you gulped down the bubbling mixture.

Fowler looked from you at Connor who also seemed to be concerned about the fact that you had mixed pharmaceuticals with alcohol before the Captain looked back at you, "Where have you been this morning? We had a meeting."

You put the empty glass back on the desk, "Oh, yeah... the meeting. I'm sorry, Sir. I was on observation and obviously, I lost track of time.", you explained, leaning back in the chair, waiting for the aspirin and ‘water’ to do its magic.

"Observation, huh? For what case? What's the file number?", Fowler asked, leaning back in his own seat, folding his hands in front of him while waiting for your answer.

"Oh, yeah... the file number. One moment, Sir-"

Fowler slammed his plane hand on the desk's surface that you were jumping in your seat, "Cut this shit, god dammit! You have no file number because you have no current case, Detective! Let me guess, Connor had found you sleeping in your car, right? How many nights had it been this time?"

You kept eye contact but you gave him no answer. You just gritted your teeth and pressed your jaws together.

Fowler sighed, "Listen, YN, you're a great Detective but since the things with Sara happened-"

"No!", you called out, jumping from your chair and stopping the Captain mid-sentence with your sudden outburst, "We won't talk about this!", you said serious before you turned around to let your glance roam through the office with all the busy people, "Alright, Sir. What's the matter with the android? Monitoring what I do and what I don't do?"

"Connor is the former partner of Hank-"

"Oh and now, Hank doesn't want to play with it anymore so you give it to the next screwed up cop you can find?", you asked, turning around to look at Connor with his fancy clothes and neat hairstyle before you looked back at the Captain.

"Hank retired two weeks ago. I thought you knew that.", Fowler said and looked even more concerned at you.

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't get invited to any funny parties nor did I got a notification. But who cares. So, the android's with me then? How long?", you asked emotionlessly.

"It's your partner now. Brief it into your cases-"

You stepped forward, aiming for the door, "Cases, Sir? What cases? You already said I have none.", you pointed out while leaving the office.

Fowler watched after you, not amused about your unpredictable behavior and the fact that you were carrying a gun.

"Sir?", Connor asked and brought the Captain back from his thoughts.

"Yeah... Listen... as you can see YN has a few problems. They used to be a good cop in the past until one of the cases they and Hank had operated went wrong. The anniversary is in two days and I fear... well...", Captain Fowler stopped himself, watching you grabbing a coffee from the kitchen.

"I will keep an eye on them.", Connor said and left the office as well.

Connor was surprised how carelessly you were in managing your cases - even if it were just a few. There was nothing special or difficult and yet, you weren't able to file the cases properly, "Detective, this report here, I'm not sure to which case it belongs.", Connor asked as he had read an interview of a woman who had reported her dog as missing. Added to that, the interview was part of a file about an armed theft in the heart of the city. There was no connection at all to these two cases.

Without looking up, you took a folder from your desk to hand it over to Connor, "Yeah...here. That's the case you're searching for."

Connor took the case and skimmed through the pages several times before he looked at you, frowning, "Detective, this is a file about a stolen android.", he pointed out.

"Yeah, just ... put the page in this file. I'm sure it will be right.", you said, ignoring the android's expression.

"Detective, I'm not sure-"

"Excuse me, I need some more coffee.", you cut him off, standing up to aim for the kitchen with your mug in your hands.

"And I thought Hank was challenging.", Connor whispered under his breath and shook his head while he still tried to figure out which pages were parts of which cases.

"You're a murderer, Detective! That you still think yourself as worthy enough to call yourself a cop is way out of my understanding!", a jarring, female voice echoed through the office and drew the attention of everyone to her and to the person that stood in front of her - you.

Connor craned his head to watch the scene like everyone else did. But while the attention of the others was because of curiosity and spitefulness, Connor watched you and your bodily reaction to the woman's accusations. You stood there like a timid fawn. The cockiness you presented before seemed to be gone completely. Your heart rate increased, you were shaking and your eyes became big as if you were intimidated by the woman in front of you. The woman stepped even closer and Connor watched, surprised, that you stayed where you were. Easily, you could have escaped the unknown woman and yet you stayed rooted to the spot.

"Because of you I lost both of my daughters! I already have lost the one and yet, you thought it would be fair to take the other away from me as well!", the woman screamed erratic, tears were already running down her cheeks but she was still not able to stop herself and no one else was brave enough to step into the scene, "You and your partner will pay for what you have done! You will burn in hell for that!"

"Chris! Escort Mrs. Mason into my office!", Captain Fowler ordered and stopped the woman's outburst even if it was a bit too late.

Connor saw tears building in the corners of your eyes. Quickly, your glance scanned the area but the only way you could find was the way out. You aimed for the precinct's main entrance to leave the building in a hurry. Connor followed you. He ran through the office and left the building as well but as he stepped onto the pavement you were nowhere to be seen. Like a ghost, you had vanished between all the other pedestrians.

Hank had just taken a new beer to watch the next half of the Detroit Gears game as someone rang his doorbell. In the penetrant way how this person used his doorbell and the way how Sumo reacted, Hank knew who the visitor was, "Connor, hey. What are you doing here? It's a bit too early to go for a walk with Sumo.", the older man said but he already saw that something else was bothering the android.

"Yeah, actually, I'm not here because of Sumo.", Connor said.

Hank let him in and Connor came straight to the point that kept him busy, "One year ago, you and Detective YLN had a case together. But something went wrong. What exactly happened? I couldn't find the case file."

Hank frowned, "Why do you ask?"

"Captain Fowler teamed me up with Detective YLN because of the anniversary of this case. He's concerned about the instability of their constitution."

Hank shook his head. He missed working with the android but he didn't miss the long-winded explanations of him. Then, suddenly, he became serious again, "Instability, huh?"

"Yes. They seem to be so unpredictable in their behavior that Captain Fowler fears something worse will happen because the anniversary would be in two days. I ... I found them this morning sleeping in their car.", Connor explained with a frown.

Hank raised his brows in surprise and at the same time, he felt worried, "YN and I, we... In the past, we worked together on some cases. Well, that changed with our last case. Lynn and Sara Mason.", he said slowly, feeling the pain stinging his heart as he remembered what had happened one year ago.

"Why couldn't I find much about it in the archives of the DPD?"

Hank stood up from the couch, walking over to the book shelf to pull something out that was hidden between his several jazz vinyl. He walked back to Connor, offering the android the case file but stopped as Connor was grabbing for it, "You just can find the basics of this case because I kept it printed. Some wounds are so deep, it's better if not everyone is able to find a tool to reopen them all over again.", he said and gave Connor the file finally.

***

The next day, Connor drove again to your place and was happy to see that you weren't sleeping in your car again. As he knocked at your door, you opened him with a smile. You had taken a shower, your hair was still damp and your clothes were all fresh and clean. Connor noticed that you weren't accompanied by the scent of alcohol and he even couldn't smell anything in your breath as you talked with him.

"I... I want to apologize, Connor. Our start yesterday wasn't the best. I'm looking forward to working with you. I'm sure we will make a great team."

Connor knew you just one day, not enough to understand a person completely, and yet he had the strange feeling of something going on that occupied his mind suddenly by the way you acted.

"Oh, can you call a taxi?", you asked while sipping on your coffee.

"What happened to your car, Detective?", Connor asked surprised while ordering the vehicle.

You smiled at him, "Oh, I sold it. I will have no use of it anymore. And please, call me YN."

To Connor's surprise, your behavior stayed kinda strange even if he couldn't say what it was exactly. You and Connor went early to the DPD. On your way in, you talked with colleagues. You joked with Chris and as Gavin entered the kitchen, you pressed a cup of coffee into the Detective's hand which left him utterly confused.

Gavin stopped Connor by stepping into his way, "Hey, tin can. Is this coffee drugged or what is going on here?"

In the way Gavin looked at Connor, the android noticed real unease, "No, Detective. The coffee is not drugged or anything. I guess others would call it 'tasty'. You can drink it.", he said but looked frowning at you. As Connor left Gavin, the green-eyed man was still sniffing suspiciously on the hot liquid as if the mug might contain acid instead of his most favorite beverage.

Connor went back to the desk opposite of yours and was surprised to see how you cleared out the different pages of the case files. Several small piles were lying in front of you while you tried to bring them into the right order and to collate them.

Later that day, Connor was puzzled as you went to the Captain to apologize to him as well as you had done it with Connor in the beginning of the day. You apologized for your behavior the day before and of all the past weeks, "I know I did a few things wrong, Captain. But I promise to change that in the future. In fact, the change will happen soon and then, everyone will be pleased with me again.", you said before you took your jacket to leave the precinct.

Connor looked at the Captain and saw on the man's face what he was thinking: strange.

‘Strange’ was the only word Connor could find to describe your work day even although you were acting practically perfect. You were nice. You had sorted your cases. You had apologized for your behavior. And yet, something was odd. Something felt wrong. Connor sensed that something was ... going on. But he couldn't put his finger on it. So, out of instinct, Connor followed you and drove to your place with a taxi.

As he knocked at your door, you opened, smiling at him and dressed in a bathrobe, "Oh, Connor, hey. What is it? I just wanted to take a bath."

Surprised, Connor looked at you. He was sure you had taken a shower this morning so there was no need to take a bath and then, he reminded himself that he still had not much knowledge about humans and their several oddities, "Yeah, I ... I just wanted to ask if everything is alright, Detective.", he said honestly.

You smiled at him, "Of course, Connor. Everything is more than alright. I just need some time to relax and tomorrow, everything will make sense to you and the others. Thanks for checking on me, that means a lot to me. Goodnight.", you said and closed the door.

Connor stared at your closed door for several moments before he stepped slowly back to walk down the hallway. Since he turned deviant, Connor's systems needed a bit longer to process information - not much, it were just seconds, but sometimes that could be more than enough.

As Connor was still connecting the different dots and hints you had spread the whole day, Hank called him, "Connor! Where are you?"

"I'm leaving YN's place. They want to take a bath. Why? What's the matter?", Connor asked as he sensed the slightly concerned undertone in Hank's voice.

"You have to go back, Connor! Go back to them! YN hates to bath!", Hank demanded worried.

Even if Connor was confused, he turned around, walking back the way to your apartment, "Hank?"

"I just got a letter from YN. It got brought by a delivery man. It's a handwritten suicide letter. Hurry and stop them!", Hank ordered.

Connor ended the call, hurried down the corridor and without knocking, he broke down the door of your apartment. Quickly, Connor ran through your small apartment, already seeing the door of your bathroom ajar. He stormed into the room and the second his eyes landed on you lying in the bathtub with the razor blade between your fingers, he was by your side, taking the blade away to throw it into a far corner before you could even cut. Slowly but demanding, Connor dragged you out of the water, took a towel and laid it around your shaking frame because you already were ice cold. Obviously, you had filled the bathtub with cold water to support a fast sleep while your blood would have drained from your body after the cut.

You were screaming and yelling for Connor to let go of you. You demanded the razor back and that he should leave your apartment but Connor ignored everything. You punched against his chest with your fists but Connor stayed unimpressed, determined to save your life. With a strong grip, he wrapped you into the towel and also laid the bathrobe around your shoulders before he guided you out of the bathroom. You were still struggling in Connor's arms to get free. All you wanted was to end what you had started. Desperate, hot tears were running down your cheeks as you were crying violently about the fact that you were still alive. Alive and alone with the memories which were still haunting you like mean demons.

Connor placed you on the couch, sitting next to you and wrapping his arms around your frame to give you even more support and comfort while you cried against his chest, "Please, just let me die...", you cried out between two heavy sobs.

"No, Detective. I have to refuse your request."

"Cut this 'Detective' shit. Just call me YN, god damnit.", you whimpered helplessly because now, everything was just worse than you had expected. You had planned everything and yet, the android was there to destroy your neatly made plans, "What are you even doing here, Connor?"

"Hank received your letter and called me right on time."

You leant closer against Connor's chest with closed eyes, seeking the android’s presence while cursing about yourself, "Hell, the letter. I should have changed the delivery time to a later one. Then, everything would be over. All the pain. All the guilt. All the haunting.", you breathed with a sad voice.

Connor tightened the embrace around you even more, "It's about Sara Mason and her sister, isn't it?", he whispered softly, placing his chin on top of your head to enclose you even more.

You nodded, not surprised that Connor already knew it, "Yeah... it's my fault that Sara died. It's my fault that her mother lost both daughters.", you cried out, clawing into Connor's white shirt with your fingers.

"Well, I read the file. Sara came up with the idea to get bugged and to infiltrate the drug dealer who had killed her sister Lynn. I mean, the idea was good. It was just bad luck that the dealer already knew about Lynn's death and looked right through the façade you and Hank had planned.", Connor said softly. To calm you even more, he stroked soothingly over your back with his hands.

You leant back to look into the android's face and for the first time, you noticed the incredibly intense, brown color of his soft eyes, "Y-you don't understand. Not even Hank knew that but Sara didn't come up with the idea to get bugged on her own. I dropped this idea as I was alone with her and manipulated her to think it was her own idea. I mean, how evil can someone be to do this, huh?", you asked, closing your eyes about this painful memory.

Connor cupped your face, knowing that humans needed physical contact to feel secure and safe and he wanted to provide you both as well as he could. He was glad to see that you opened your eyes again and that you stayed where you were, "Listen, neither you nor Hank nor someone else could have known every single possibility in this case. The idea was good. The Captain said the same in his official statement. But ... Look, kid, sometimes bad things happen, and you can't do anything about it.", he said softly.

Through a sob of new tears because Connor was the first for a very long time that was caring about you this much, you chuckled low, "Have you... did you just quote the Lion King to cheer me up?"

Connor looked slightly caught with a sheepishly smile playing around his lips, "Yeah... Hank said I should improve my knowledge about pop culture. I binge watched all the Disney movies I could find last week. I thought this quote was suitable... Or did I have done it wrong?"

You chuckled a bit more about his innocence and strong will to help you, "No, it was pretty good. Thanks for... you know... thanks for being here with me.", you whispered low, feeling your cheeks reddening.

Connor leant back on your couch, bringing you close to his chest so you could snuggle against him, "I'm your partner now, YN. And partners are looking out for each other. You can count on me no matter what it is.", he said softly and after five minutes where he just stroked comforting over your back, he noticed your even breathing that told him that you had fallen asleep. Hank called and without making too much noise, Connor briefed his former partner that you were alright.

You were still alive. You still had a long way to go to leave your haunting ghosts behind but Connor was sure you would make it. You were strong enough to do it - and he would be by your side to support you as promised.

#detroit become human imagines #detroit become human connor #rk800 x reader #dbh connor x reader #connor #detroit connor #connor rk800 #dbh connor #rk800 #detroit rk800 #dbh rk800 #rk800connor #detroit become human rk800 #male reader #female reader #gender neutral reader #hurt comfort

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danielxricciardo · 3 years

Text

Where do we go from here

Daniel Ricciardo x Reader

Chapters: 1/?

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 3,015

Playlist for the series

It was your fault when you agreed to go to Monaco. After what happened the last time, you swore you would never go back there. Because it fucked with your mind and soul. You were crushed and your best friend had to scrap you off the floor for weeks, he had to remind you to shower and to eat. Knowing he will be so pissed you chose to go back to him, you didn't tell him you were leaving for a week until you were on the plane. His reaction was everything you were expecting, he called you a bitch and he advised you not to get back to him with a broken heart to cry on his shoulder then he hung up on you. Sure, you both knew you will cry on his shoulder after this week.

The entire flight you were questioning your life choices. How did you get there? You wanted - you needed to know how you allowed yourself to become dependent on a piece of affection from Daniel. You were trying to figure out when you became a sucker for him but you couldn't, maybe because you always were.

You'd always been good friends, ever since he moved from Australia to Europe. You were his first non-Australian friend and he was always been grateful for you and your friendship. You were with him even when he didn't ask you to and even when he told you he wanted to be left alone. That was your first choice. You went with him to almost all the junior competitions, until he reached Formula 1, you cried with him when he had a bad race and you partied with him on a podium or a win. Fuck it, 9 years later, you were still with him. Red Bull Racing was the team that helped him discover himself as a driver and gave him confidence that he could get far. After only one year in the team, he finished third in the drivers' championship with 238 points and secured the first fastest lap of his Formula One career at the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix.

But all this has consequences. The fact that he was so good and became so well known attracted many girls who wanted to meet him and be affiliated with him for increased media attention. The worst part was that he liked all the female attention. Who wouldn't like it? He could have a new girl every day and they would still not end. But Daniel was not the type to take such advantage of his name and his position in society, you thought at the time. But that was exactly what he did. At the end of the 2014 season, days would pass without hearing from him because he was too busy to enjoy the female attendance that crossed his threshold.

After a few months, you already had a pattern. For 5 days you would not hear from him and on Saturday morning he would call you with a guttural voice, asking you to come to his place. And you went there with some headache pills and for a few hours, you would listen to everything that had happened during the week with different girls. At first, it hurt a lot. To hear how your best friend and the person for whom you develop some romantic feelings, has fun, and fucks with different girls is not very ok, but over time the whole situation had become repetitive and you became immune.

But you didn't realize you became a regular girl in his bed too. The only difference between you and the tens, maybe the hundreds of girls before you, was that you warmed his bed on Saturday and Sunday. It was just you, all weekend, every weekend. You felt special. He gives you his full attention all weekend and you hope he doesn't need anyone but you, except that Monday was coming and you could see that to his right was another model looking for fame. But have you ever told him what bothers you? No. Because you'd rather share him with so many girls than not have him in your life at all.

So what happened when you ended up crying for weeks without eating or taking a shower? Daniel told you that he is done with all the girls and he wants to focus on his career. This is after in 2015 he finished the season in 9th place with only 92 points, without a victory, and only twice on the podium. Of course you were happy! Daniel was going to have only you in his life. But he told you that what was between you before, sex and everything else, must end as well. I mean, you had to go back to being just friends. But how do you go back to being just friends with the person you've shared the bed with so many times? Friends don't know the way you taste. Your luck was that you had to go for a visit to your parents for 2 weeks and you didn't have to see him. You had 2 weeks to lick your wounds and return to him without a broken heart. Troy, your best friend, was with you and he tried to put your heart back together. Just when he succeeded, you had to go back to Daniel as if nothing had happened. Broken heart? Who?

Making your own decisions makes you responsible for what comes out of that decision whether it was a positive move or not. Making your own decisions also allows you to make your own mistakes and learn from them. It was your decision to go back to Daniel, to your friend. It was hard to look at him and not want to kiss those fleshy lips but you could manage it.

"There she is!" you heard Daniel say as soon as the Nice Côte d'Azur airport gates opened. He was wearing his merch purple hoodie that you wore so many times before and a pair of black jeans. He had a pair of sunglasses on to keep him away from the press. You smiled. It's been 2 weeks since you've seen him and it's as if your heart has tightened in your chest. You really missed him. You ignored his calls because you didn't want to hear his voice and start crying on the phone and all the messages he sent you were deleted by Troy. You don't even know what he wrote to you.

"Hey, Daniel!" you said and hugged him. You were enveloped by the smell of his perfume and you smiled. He was your safe place. "Missed you."

He hugged you back and the force he put in that hug was enough to crush your bones. But it didn't hurt you. You wanted to be one with him, to be absorbed by him. Everything platonic, of course.

"Missed you too, Y/N."

The road to your house was not a long one but at that moment everyone seemed to be on the road at the same time as you so what needed to be a 45-minutes road trip was now more than an hour, and you were still in the car. The small talk already finished about your parents, your brother and your best friend, Troy, and about all the new things from your home town and at the moment in the car was an uncomfortable silence which none of you knew how to break.

"I tried to talk to you these 2 weeks, you know?" Daniel said and you swallowed loudly. You knew that at some point he would ask about why you didn't talk to him for two weeks, but you hoped it would take some time until then - you hoped you had more time to think about a pretty good reason.

"Yeah, sorry, I just wanted to focus on my people there, you know?" you bit the inside of your cheek until you felt the metallic taste of blood. You hoped it would be a pretty convincing reason but you knew after so many years of friendship that Daniel is not the type to press you if you don't want to say something.

"Yeah, I get it, I'm the same when I'm down under, y'know?" you both laughed, and for the first time in a long time you felt good around him. You felt yourself, no labels and no shoes to fill.

In front of your apartment block, after Daniel took all your luggage out of the car trunk, he leaned against the car, his hands folded, and looked at you.

"Aren't you going to help me get them up to my apartment?"

"Yes, in a minute," he says, still looking at you. "Would you like to do something tonight?"

You shrugged. You weren't tired after the flight, so you could have done something but you had so many questions. Just the two of you? Was anyone else coming? Any friends of his? Some girl? But you couldn't ask him, even if you were friends, you didn't want to give him the feeling that you were jealous. Were you jealous? You didn't have a reason just yet but you could become one.

"Sure. Do you have something in mind?"

"Remember Jay? He just opened a nightclub. Actually, tonight is the opening, he asked me to swing by for a few hours, want to go?"

"Yeah, sure, sounds like fun."

Daniel took two suitcases and passed you to enter the block, but he walked with the wheels over your toes.

"Hey, idiot, watch where you're going!" you yelled at him and immediately laughed. Daniel turned to you, laughing too. You didn't realize when you said it, but that was the exact phrase you told him when you first met.

You got out of the cab in front of the restaurant and slammed the door shut, despite the pleading of the driver to be gentle with his darling car.

You arranged your dress on your body and put your hair behind your ear. You were ready for this blind date that Ellie, your co-worker, planned for you. Of course, there were better things for you to do on a Friday night, such as drinking a bottle of red wine watching a few episodes of your favorite show. But you were there, prepared for a shitshow. You took a few steps towards the big glass door until someone hit you hard and made you unbalance and break a heel.

"Hey, idiot, watch where you're going!" you yelled at the boy that hit you. A tall, dark guy that made you lose the little balance you still had. A small amount of his curly dark-haired was peaking out under the white hoodie he was wearing and his brown big eyes were looking at you like you were a statuette that broke.

"So sorry," he said and the thick accent made your legs soft. Whatever accent that was, you knew you wanted to hear him talk non-stop. "Was looking for an address, I'm fucking lost."

"That's fine, maybe I can help you," you smiled at the boy and you took off your heels. One was already broken so there was no point in wearing them at this point.

"Oh, no, it's fine, you look so elegant, you must be dining with your boyfriend or something," he laughed and then saw the broken heel. "Bloody, I just broke your shoes, I'm so sorry!"

You laughed even harder at the panicked boy in front of you.

"No boyfriend, just a blind date I didn't even want to go in the first place so you saved me, I'm the one that should say thank you. Where do you need to go to?"

He came closer to you with a map in his hand. He showed you where he had to go and you explained to him that he was in the wrong part of the city but you were more than happy to show him the right way. But after you stopped at a boutique to buy a 5 euro pair of sandals.

"This city is not so big that you get lost in it," you told the boy, whose name is Daniel Ricciardo, he told you so. "How long have you been here?"

"Ugh, just a day, and I thought it was a good idea to go out and see the city, I even took this stupid map, but I still got lost."

"Okay, but why did you go out by yourself in the evening and not in the morning or, at least, when is sunny, y'know?" you ask him and point to his left, where you had to go.

"I woke up two hours ago. I slept for eleven hours with the whole time zone, jet lag, and shit and when I woke up I was hungry. I went to get some food and to visit the surroundings because why not," he shrugged.

"But where did you come from?"

"Perth, Australia, baby!" he smiled and leaned back, pulling his chest forward. Anyone could see how proud he was of his hometown.

"This is you!" you announced when you arrived in front of the apartment building, his final destination. He smiled so wide and hugged you.

"Thank you so much, you saved me!"

"No biggie," you smiled at him and then waved. "Bye, Daniel Ricciardo."

"Hey, hey, let's meet tomorrow for a brekky!" he casually announced.

"For a what?"

"Oh, sorry!" he laughed. "Forgot for a second you're not Australian. For breakfast."

"Sure, I'll come here at 9 so you won't get lost again. Bye, Daniel Ricciardo!"

"Bye, Y/N Y/L/N!"

"I'll come and pick you up at about 10 o'clock, ok?" Daniel announced just as he was about to leave your apartment after he got up all your luggage. "Sounds good?"

"Yep. All good."

"And wear something sexy!" he yelled as he was closing the front door. Something sexy? Why would he request a sexy outfit for a night out from you? His best friend. Sometimes Daniel made your head spin, that was one of those occasions, you didn't pay much attention to it, you just went to grab a shower.

The night had come too fast. Sure, you had enough time to put on makeup and do your hair, but you had no idea what to wear. You were sitting in front of the bed in your underwear, with three dresses lying on the bed when the clock struck 10 o'clock. You heard the front door open and close but you did not hurry to put something on yourself so that Daniel would not see you in your underwear; he saw you even worse than that.

"Hey, are you ready? Whoah!" he says and turns his back on you, with his hand covering his eyes. "You should have told me you were naked!"

You scoffed at him.

"Cut the crap and come help me pick a dress for tonight, Ricciardo."

Daniel removed his hand from the eyes and looked at you and swallowed hard. The underwear you were wearing was almost a silky one, black, that hugged your curves just right. He couldn't take his eyes off you and you loved all the attention.

"Stop drooling and come help me. Do you want to go to this club or not?"

Daniel came near you, his eyes were now on the push-up bra that lifted your breasts, making them fuller and bigger than they really were, and at that moment Daniel wanted nothing more than to touch them and play with them. But he remembered who was in front of him. He told his best friend that the sex games were now over because he was focusing on his Formula 1 career. That was not a lie at the time, but he just wanted to throw her in bed and make her forget the words he said that evening. He coughed a few times to regain his voice and then looked at the three dresses lying on the bed.

"That one," says the brunette and points to the short black dress that fits perfectly on your body. You would have chosen that one too.

"Ok, I'll be ready in a few minutes," you said and went to the bathroom to put the dress on. You adjusted your make-up and grabbed the bag and you were ready for a night out with Daniel. Or so you thought.

No one can see the dance floor, it's wall-to-wall people dancing to the club music. There's no room for any more but somehow Daniel was pulling my hand to where he knew Jay was sitting. The music vibrated in your ears and you were tempted to move to its rhythm, but you had to follow Daniel. After going through the whole room you reached your friend, the owner of the club. He told you that the drink for you was on the house and wished you a good time. Daniel announces that he is going to have a drink for both of you and leaves you alone among hundreds of strangers, driven by the same inner desire to get rid of inhibitions for a few hours that night.

The DJ moves everybody in ways no one has ever done before. Mixing the loud music on the turntables to the beat you desire to hear, the DJ watches the half-naked bodies of young men and women dancing around as if something has possessed their bodies. Men are wearing an undershirt, or no shirt at all, and pants. They eye the women who strut around in tank tops and tight dance pants or skirts, and who are smiling, and letting all their worries go away. A smile appeared on your face and look at the line at the bar for Daniel and you were pleasantly surprised to see that he was already looking at you. When you saw his smile you realized that the night will not end with you two still being just friends.

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