#i always hate posting stuff like this even thought i dump whatever the fuck else on tumblr

[faerune]

hey if everyone could keep my family particularly my dad in their thoughts and prayers i’d really appreciate it. his aortic stenosis has progressed to severe, he had a drop attack (and apparently a heart attack we never caught), and one of his coronary arteries is 80% occluded. he’s in the hospital and stable right now.

[dizzybizz]

hai here is a sketch dump with too many fandoms :) sorry about the ungodly amount of men here i have been going through it and by it i mean gay

ok wait i ran out of tags??? it wont let me tag them all😭😭😭 im gonna have to be sparing with them uhh i guess i will have to ramble under the cut then cus i like rambling in my tags but i cant with this one 😭

(ok im back from the ramble: it is way too long.... proceed forward if you want to see some guy just absolutely talk nonsense for entirely too long)

no cus i swear i have tried tagging more stuff than this before and never hit the limit but whatever

hello i really use this like a fkn blog huh

i just wanted to provide some thoughts on the harper and rosé one first bc its important to me 😌 cus i was thinking abt harper and how in my head and heart of hearts she would be the kid who thought you get pregnant from kissing and i dont think she ever really grew out of that belief. <- this ended up spawning the idea of harper being a sex-repulsed ace and i will die on this hill actually. fight me or die, you die either way actually nvm

this is just a buncha blorbos i dont know what to tell you really. sketch pages like these always end up so weird for me bc for some reason my brain always wants the characters in them to interact in some way. whether that be talking or just reacting to what the other is doing... its something i cant stop with, its so stupid and silly and i hate it and i love it. where else would i see kabru slowly losing his mind with how loud phoenix wright is in court????

I THOUGHT I HAD GOTTEN OFF THE RAILS WITH THAT BUT THEN THE NEXT PAGE HAPPENED. and all i could do was laugh and ask "what the fuck am i drawing??? HOW DID WE GET HERE? WHY IS THISTLE HERE WITH LEOPIKA HELP" LIKE that page started with the big leopika and then i was like "man i miss thistle lemme draw him real quick" but the curse struck and now hes being homophobic so </3

i rlly like how the nic(k) page turned out ... i just have a lot of nicks i like drawing idk.. the lil guy is an oc,,, one day his ref sheet will be finished and itll be awesome but not for now, sorry baby, no can do. im weirdly happy with how the hands turned out for all of them tho?? so thats a W

yotasuke, murai, nick (youll never know which one im referring to. .. jkjk its hoult i love the pose there ehehhe), nic and the entire last page r my favs. i like em all but those rlly get me yknow- the olly too ofc but ive already posted him, dont mind him being here, hes part of the set. AND OVER ALL IVE BEEN HAVING SO FUN WITH SHADING BLACK AND JUST LEAVING SPOTS BLANK ITS SO ?`????

WHY IS THIS SO LONG PLS DONT READ ALL THIS THIS IS STRAIGHT UP EMBARRASSING AGHSDFGSDHJSGD im all like "yeah i dont like talking about myself or whatever" but as soon as i get to my process or blorbos or smth the floodgates fucking break open, not even burst man.

also dont mind how i havent even acknowledged pingas twink pokemon counterpart. hes just here for shits and giggles i dont know the guy like at all, i watched a handful of eps of horizons and that was it RIP

[meabh-mcinness]

Hello, big big fan of your Mairuma shorts here! Loved, loved, loved the Narnia Courting HCs, him being so attractive when his personality is like... *that* is just Unfair.

Scrolled through some of the Narnia-related stuff and the idea of 'Human!SO who somehow learns about him bullying Iruma and is appalled' would not leave my head, for several nights.

Could I request a fic about the prompt above... where the fem!SO decides to (or actually does) leave him...? Backs off, puts some distance between him and her, and eventually fucking ghosts him because she really went 'wtf' and had to re-evalute their whole relationship when she heard about it.

(My inner overdramatic angst-obsessed ass will not let me live in peace, especially when I also think about your HC of Narnia having clingy, yandere, and stalkerish tendencies, completely losing his shit at getting dumped. *insert 'took break-up horribly song' in the background*

I just,, really,, want to see him freak out at a problem his strength and new shiny position as a 13 Crown can't solve, okay?)

Premise is that they've been in a (secret) relationship for a... good amount of time already, and been living together too. Maybe had a rocky start at the beginning given his... uh, Opinions on non-Demon species, but she really thought he was okay or at least wasn't hostile anymore now.

She stays at his home and rarely goes out, initially without complaint (because it really wasn't safe or feasible for her to leave without him), but now it's really out of habit and also because Narnia (and maybe even most Naberius when they fall in love? Maybe that's why they avoid romances?? They get overbearing and obsessive and suffocating???) has the unfortunate pathological need to hide away and shelter his lover from any possible harm/rivals/competition for attention, a tendency that Narnia does not even try to curb. He does get busy with work, but he always comes back and showers her with gifts and HIS attention, but Haaaates the idea of sharing with anyone else.

But human?? Am social creature that need stimulation, so she's slowly become lowkey unhappy. The Devinet has become her best buddy, girl ends up picking up so many skills and hobbies, Magic, trying to occupy herself while waiting for him. But she stays, because she does have feelings for him, fell in love with the Netherworld, and gave up on going back to a life back on Earth. For a long time, they settle into this comfortable (?) status quo.

And then it breaks. Maybe one of the online communities she joined talk about meeting up for an event, someone posts about the tickets they got for a concert, maybe Narnia unintentionally sets her off by calling her (genuinely out of fondness) 'pet', maybe she even hears about Iruma, the accomplished and very-much-Not-a-human Lord Sullivan's grandson in the news, participating in demonic society, having fun and Living his life... and she. wants. Out. so, so badly.

And so one rainy day knowing that Narnia would be out for work and not back for awhile, she cleans up the house, picks up her travel bag, and Goes. She ends up having the time of her life, making new acquaintances, new experiences, new memories; that the home they shared feels like a whole different world.

Narnia, meanwhile, has come back to an empty home, an empty bed, and a letter on the table.

OK so first off I love this??? So much?? Hurts my heart so good, this idea does.

But also, also just hear me out now, what if this took place right before Narnia became a 13 crown instead? Like say, reader leaving is what made Narnia hate humans so much, because one broke his heart after promising forever and he's trying to hunt them down. Put himself as a nominee so that he has further reach to be able to find and chain them down to his side or get rid of them all together, I can't decide? Which is why in the bathroom scene he says it's not long now, because he means it won't be long until he can do whatever he wants in his quest to find them.

[inimikal-archive]

No  rping,  just  neurodivergent  info  dumps.  This  is  from  a  response  I  made  explaining  my  thoughts  on  Wesker  &  motivations  he  has  +  why  that  I  am  sharing  publicly  as  I  think  its  very  important  to  my  blog  &  portrayal.  Going  WARN  upfront  that the  N*zi  party  is  mentioned.  Just  briefly  touching  on  something  Capcom  said.  I  also  want  to  make  it  very  clear  that  I  DO  NOT  support  Wesker’s  views,  I  don’t  think  its  cool  to  kill  a  vast  majority  of  the  population  because  things  suck  or  anything  like  that,  lmao   &  I  don’t  believe  in  the  eco-fascistic  ways  or  the  eco/bio  terrorism  he  employs  to  achieve  & enforce  his  goals  against  all  human  kind  ━  I  do  not  condone  it,  like  OBVIOUSLY,  however  I  don’t  believe  Wesker  believes  in  what  Spencer  did  in  the  exact  way  he  did  &  so  this  post  is  merely  an  explanation  of  Why  Wesker’s  Like  That  Deluxe  Edition. Do  not  take  this  post  as  excusing  his  actions,  sympathising  with  him  or  whatever,  its  only  an  explanation  for  WHY  &  a  reference  for  how  that  works  on  this  blog  /  my  portrayal. ONCE  AGAIN  please  continue  reading   with  caution  because  as  mentioned  this  post  may  briefly  touch  on  some  sensitive  stuff  &  also  touches  on  some  popular  discourse  within  the  fandom. 

So,  anyway  Wesker's  Uroboros  bullshit  is  “interesting”  for  a  lack  of  a  better  term  in  the  sense  that  I'm  not  sure  he  was  doing  it  for  the  same  reason  someone  like  Spencer  was.  I  think  something  to  note  was  how  Spencer  was  just  ... Extremely  classist  &  racist.  He  hated  most  people  because  he  viewed  them  as  inferior  to  himself,  due  to  being  raised  with  extreme  wealth  &  privilege.  He  had  access  to  education   & comfort  that  others  did  not,  especially  in  his  time,  but  instead  of  viewing  this  as  a  privilege  granted  to  him  by  money  he  decided  to  view  this  as  himself  being  inherently  superior  to  everyone  else  because  why  take  accountability  for  your  privilege  if  it  means  acknowledging  you’re  not  better  than  everyone  else,  you  just  have  money.  He  was  in  an  age  where  this  kind  of  backward,  hateful  thinking  was  the  norm. Because  racists  &  rich  people  have  been  like  that  always,  basically.  

In  a  similar  way  to  Excella,  he  thought  himself  to  be  superior  to  others  out  of  pure  arrogance  &  with  Spencer  particularly  some  very  uncomfortably  real  world  prejudice.  Capcom  tried  to  sort  of  “hide”  a  lot  for  the  sake  of  game  sales  but  initially,  people  like  Spencer  were  supposed  to  represent  real  life  backward  ass  eugenic  ideals.  Spencer’s  own  shit  draws  from  the  same  places  as  the  kind  of  shit  Hitl*r  & the  N*zi  party  were  on.  It's  admittedly  a  direct  reference  according  to  Capcom;  the  nonsense  of  the  Ary*n  race  &   "the  superior  men”  is  all  there  particularly  emphasised  from  Spencer’s  ideals.  Capcom  have  said  this  is  what  they  were  going  for;  they’ve  even  gone  on  to  say  that  Albert  himself  looks  the  way  he  does  because  of  this  concept  of  the  “superior  man”  being  a  tall,  blond  hair,  blue  eyed,  pale  skinned  individual  that  Spencer  adhered  to.  Though  Capcom  did  dial  these  things  back  a  bit  references  &  allegories  for  these  things  are  still  clear  within  the  canon.

So  yes.  This  is  exactly  what  Spencer  was  going  for.  Wesker’s  appearance  is  supposed  to  allude  to  what  Spencer  actually  represents  &  what  his  intentions / goals  really  were.  So  while  Spencer  may  have  fully  planned  &  intended  for  Wesker  to  look  like  that  (& possibly  for  all  the  Wesker  children  to  look  like  that)  Wesker’s  looks  weren't  Capcom  condoning  Spencer’s  beliefs,  just  trying  to  clue  us  into  the  inspo  behind  his  bullshit.  This  is  also  shown  in  Alex  Wesker.  It's  not  a  coincidence  that  the  only  Wesker  children  we  know  of  &  get  to  see  are  two  tall,  white,  blond  people  with  blue  eyes.  Its  also  not  a  coincidence  that  the  “straight”  cis  man  was  the  apex  of  the  whole  fucked  up  project  via  capcom’s  attempt  to  clue  us  into  what  Spencer  represented.  You  can  find  implications  of  this  same  thing  in  characters  like  Alfred  &  Alexia  Ashford,  & again  it  is  not  a  coincidence  that  ALL  FOUR  of  these  characters  were  literally  created  by  Umbrella  heads.  Alfred  &  Alexia  are  literal  test  tube  babies  &  Albert  &  Alex  were  the  fruits  of  some  supremely  fucked  up  selective  breeding  programme.

As  a  result  Umbrella,  Spencer  & anyone  associated  with  that  circle  fetishized  Wesker  to  an  extreme  because  of  what  he  represented  to  them---  but  another  thing  to  keep  in  mind  is  Wesker  isn’t  Spencer  &  the  way  in  which  Spencer  actually  failed  is  that  he  didn’t  really  make  a  copy  of  himself  who,  despite  his  best  efforts,  believed  all  the  same  messed  up  shit  he  did, or  at  least  not  in  the  same  way.

This  is  how  I  personally  come  at  things  in  my  own  take  of  Wesker,  anyway,  so  though  it  is  almost  impossible  for  Wesker  to  not  share  some  of  Spencer’s  ideas  since  they  were  literally  programmed  into  him  from  birth  &  Wesker  didn’t  reject  Spencer’s  “New  world”  entirely,  he  tried  to  make  it  make  sense  BECAUSE,  IN  HIS  MIND,  stupid  shit  like  being  white  or  rich,  for  example,  does  not  make  you  superior  to  any  other  human  being.  Wesker  understands  that.  He  does  not  champion  for  genocide  toward  a  select  group  of  humans  because  of  some  shallow  prejudice.  Nor  did  he  intend  to  specifically,  personally  tailor  people  to  look,  think   &  act  any  certain  way  that  he  deemed  “superior.”  So  no,  Wesker   himself  does  not  hold  the  same  views  as  Spencer  in  the  racist,  classist,  messed  up  way,  per  se.

I  think  it's  interesting  how  he  talks  about  Alexia  in  his  report   &  his  own  anger  & annoyance  he  felt  toward  the  higher  ups  of  Umbrella  &   the  other  researchers  for  putting  her  on  a  pedestal  just  because  of  her  family  name  +  wealth.  She  hadn’t  done  jack  shit  for  Umbrella  to  be  applauded  the  way  she  was  (Unlike  William  Birkin)  but  the  researchers  couldn’t  get  over  her  because  she  was  from  a  well  known,  aristocratic  family  that  had  founded  the  company.  You  could  even  argue  from  things  in  Wesker’s  report  2  that  Wesker’s  disillusionment  with  Umbrella  &  his  ever  growing  contempt  for  it  & its  shit  started  as  far  back  as  his  time  in  the  training  school  which  is something  I  personally  believe,  particularly  due  to  his  friendship  with  William  Birkin,  who  is  implied  to  not  really  fit  the  “Umbrella  Mold”  outside  of  his  pure  genius  intellect.  Further,  Wesker  is  noted  as  one  of  the  few  among  the  Umbrella  staff  who  found  Spencer’s  desire  for  a  virus  to  infect  all  organic  matter  &  the  location  of  the  Akrley  lab  as  somewhere  that  could  rapidly  spread  infection  due  to  the  high  volume  of  organic  matter  the  virus  would  infect,  insane  &  dangerous.  

This  is  literally  where  Wesker’s  discomfort  &  suspicions  toward  Spencer  personally  began.  He  also  talks  in  his  little  note  about  Uroboros  being  beautiful  because  it  doesn’t  discriminate  based  on  shallow  human  prejudice. (  although  we  could  say  this  is  true  of  all  viruses,  which  is  a  thing  he  romanticizes  about  them  because  he  was  born  from  some  really  backwards  believes  that  he,  himself,  does  not  follow  &  as  a  biologist  he  finds  to  be  quite  stupid  & shallow.  But  do  keep  in  mind  RE  world  science  & real  world  science is  not  the  same. )

Which  we  see  with  Excella.  Excella  believed  she  was  worthy  because  she  was  beautiful,  rich  & powerful.  But  none  of  those  things  stopped  her  from  mutating  into  a  horrible  monster.  Urobous  wouldn’t  choose  people  based  on  how  pretty,  how  rich  they  were.     how  white, or  what  their  sexuality,  gender  or  religious  faith  was  ━  it  would  simply  choose  people  it  deemed  right  by  unique / random  genetic  make  up  &  this  could  be  anyone  of  any  gender,  any  faith,  any  sexuality,  any  race.  In  fact  it  is  noted  in  canon  that  the  only  other  humans  who  had  achieved  “god hood”  in  the  “same”  way  Wesker  had  were  black  Africans.  Thats  a  pretty  sexy  fuck  you  to  a  white  s*premacist like  Spencer.

Which  is  the  major  difference  between  Wesker  & Spencer.  Wesker's  hatred  of  humanity  doesn’t  come  from  a  sense  of  twisted  privilege  &  prejudice,  &  its  not  directed  specifically  toward  select  individuals,  even  though  he  was  basically  born  from  this,  due  to  being  one  of  Spencer’s  designer  babies.  Wesker  didn’t  grow  up  to  believe  skin  colour  or  wealth  made  you  inherently  better  or  smarter.  He  doesn’t  think  there  are  people  in  the  world  that  are  superior  to  others  because  of  shallow  bias  such  as  those.  With  Wesker  It  comes  from  a  really  weird  sense  of  altruism  cobbled  together  with  extreme,  contradictory  pessimism  from  everything  he’s  experienced.  Again  not  to  excuse  him  or  say  he's  a  good  person  bc  ultimately  he’s  very  twisted,  selfish  &  delusional  & hes  not  coming  back  from  that.  If  Wesker  ever  had  a  SLIM  chance  of  being  considered  even  “morally  ambiguous”  like  someone  like  Ada  it  was  lost  when  he  betrayed  S.T.A.R.S  &  lost  his  humanity. 

However,  Wesker  has  seen  up  close  &  personal  the  absolute  horror  humans  are  capable  of  inflicting  on  themselves  &  others  &  for  the  fucking  stupidest  reasons.  He  was  essentially  forced  to  participate  in  human  experimentation  as  a  child  (16-17)  to  the  ends  of  creating  horrific  B.O.W’s  that  would  presumably  be  used  by  the  world's  militaries  to  wipe  each  other  out.  In  the  name  of  human  pride,  greed  &  prejudice.  He  believes  that  this  is  pretty  much  all  humans  have  really  done  for  hundreds  of  years.  Kill  each  other,  steal  from  each  other,  &  fuck  things  up  for  the  planet  itself  &  every  other  creature  that  lives  on  it.  He’s  come  to  view  humans  as  flawed,  dangerous  creatures  that  if  left  unchecked  will  destroy  the  world.  However  again,  he's  not  trying  to  cull  or  cultivate  any  certain  group  of  people  because  of  a  fucked  up,  racist  sense  of  aesthetic,  unlike  Spencer  &  I  cannot  stress   this  enough  because  this  is  where  the  fandom  fucks  up  for  me. 

Furthermore !  Of  course,  Wesker  has  been  given  power  beyond  comprehension.  He  calls  himself  a  god  to  great  mockery  but  if  we’re  being  honest,  what  else  does  he  have  to  compare  himself  to ?  There  is  nothing  like  Wesker  out  there,  particularly  not   anything  known  about  at  height  of  his  activity  &  the  time  of  his  death.  Moreover,  I  should  mention   again  that  the  only  “beings”  like  Wesker  who  ever  existed  where  the  “evolved”  African ��“god  Kings”  of  Ndipaya  mythology.   AGAIN  This  to  me  further  illustrates  the  fact  that  Wesker  himself  doesn’t  exactly  adhere  to  White  S*premist  ideals  &  his  entire  existence  is  more  a  dunk  on  people  like  Spencer  who  did,  as  Wesker,  a  white  man  obtaining  this  status  through  the  Stairway  of  the  Sun,  was  so  far  an  anomaly.  Meanwhile  we’re  aware  it  wasn’t  undocumented  that  black  Africans  were  able  to  achieve  god  status  through  progenitor  infection  as  per  Ndipaya  mythos,  Wesker  is  the  only  white  person  who  did  “”naturally”,  despite  Spencer  having  lined  up  HUNDREDS  of  specially  bred  &  selected  candidates  who  carried  his  racist  ass  aesthetic.  

 I  think  this  goes  to  show  Wesker’s  intentions  with  Uroborus   ( A  virus  engineered  directly  from  the  progenitor )  was  not  to  cleanse  the  world  of  any  select  race  or  races,  but  to  instead  wipe  out  the  vast  majority  &   leave  only  the  “Most  choice  humans”  ( his  quote )  to  evolve  &  inherit  the  earth.  These  humans  would  not  just  be  white  or  share  his  “”personal  DNA””  ( idk  what  ppl  are  talking  about  when  they  say  Urobous  was  somehow  only  safe  for  Wesker’s  DNA .... Its literally  got  nothing  to  do  with  Wesker’s  DNA.  It  was  JILL’s  antibodies  from  her  infection  with  T  that  was  used  to  engineer  it,  but  its  not  connected  to  her  DNA  specifically  either.  Thats  not  how  viruses  work. )  Anyway,  Urobous  was  about  individuals,  not  races. But  I  digress,  Weskers  powers  are  truly  extraordinary. There's  no  way  anyone  gets  power  like  what  Wesker  got  &  doesn’t  crack  in  some  way.   If  anything  he  was  holding  it  together  pretty  well  until  his  confrontation  with  Spencer  &  his  discovery  of  the  Wesker  project  which  is  what  really  sent  him  “over  the  edge”  in  my  opinion. 

None  the  less  Wesker  doesn’t  believe  he's  doing  something  evil.

"Every  day,  humans  come  one  step  closer  to  self-destruction.  I'm  not  destroying  the  world, I'm  saving  it!"  "War  and  pestilence  wherever  you  go!  Nothing  but  loathsome  humans!"

Some  of  the  stuff  he  says  in  re5  when  you  fight  him  shows  that  Wesker  thinks  he's  ultimately  doing  the  right  thing  here.  Again,  he's  given  an  insane  power,  him  alone,  of  course  he  feels  as  if  he  SHOULD  play  god  with  it  because  everything  up  till  now  has  shown  him  Humans  Are  A  Danger  To  Themselves  & Everything  Else,  plus  he  was  groomed  by  Spencer  &  umbrella  to  believe  in  things  like  Might  Makes  Right  &  Survival  Of  The  Fittest.  He  further  doesn’t  think  of  himself  as  god  as  a  ruler,  but  as  a  creator.

In  Wesker’s  head  he  was  chosen  to  be  the  Messiah,  he  is  the  hand  of  god  who  judges  the  corrupt  humans  &  sorts  the  good  from  the  bad  or  rather  “the  worthless  from  the  worthy”;  only  he  has  the  power  to  accomplish  this  &   this  is  how  he  makes  sense  of  that  power &  why  he  alone  has  it,  &  with  Uroborus  he  has  the  tool  to  strip  everything  back  to  its  basics  &  begin  anew;   "The  human  race  requires  judgment!"  “The  din  of  six  billion  screams  will  close  the  book  on  humanity's  ignoble  past.”  The  only  humans  that  would   be  left  alive  by  Uroborus  would  be  those  randoms  who  were  genetically  compatible  with  Uroborus  &  therefore  “better”  &  again  Uroborus  wouldn’t  discriminate  on  race,  gender,  sexuality,  class  or  faith  which  is  what  we’re  told  via  canon.

SO  yeah,  that  is  why  the  mass  human  extinction  event  lived  in  Wesker’s  head  &  why  he  went  that  way.  &  while  he's  WRONG  in  his  intentions,  his  motivations  don’t  exactly  come  from  the  same  place  as  someone  like  Spencer's  apparently  did,  HOWEVER,  its  not  wrong  to  acknowledge  &  criticise  Wesker’s  character  as  a  type  of  allegory  for  white  s*premacy  even  if  the  character  himself  may  not  have  believed  in  this  in  that  particular  way  &  thats  not  literally  what  the  text  of  the  story  is  displaying.  Keeping  in  mind  Wesker  believed  the  human  race   as  a  whole  was  unworthy &  he  planned  to  allow  the  virus  to  choose  which  individuals  had  the  correct  genetic  makeup  to  ‘evolve’  leaving  the  humanity  he  grew  to  hate  behind.

My  biggest  criticism  for  the  RE  series  is  that  in  the  RE  universe  it  has  been  established  there  is  humans  who  are  “”superior””  to  others,  or  at  least  its  very  easy  to  view  it  this  way,  which  is  what  muddies  the  water  when  it  comes  to  discourse  about  this.  While  the  story  with  Wesker  serves  to  show  that  these  “superior”  humans  are  not  necessarily  “Ary*n”  &  this  doesn’t  seem  to  have  been  Wesker’s  belief,  the  science  in  the  resident  evil  world  is  not  real  &  doesn’t  reflect  real  biology. HOWEVER,  that  also  being  said  the  RE  universe  has  already  demonstrated  with  Wesker  &  other  characters  who  were  able  to  “”evolve””  beyond  humanity,  that  having  genes  compatible  with  the  virus  or  parasite  or  what  have  you  was  pure  luck  &  isn’t  all  its  cracked  up  to  be.  There  is  almost  no  B.O.W  characters,  for  all  their  gifted  “”biological  superiority””  who  survive  to  live  normal  lives. Their  minds  &  bodies  are  eventually  destroyed  by  the  virus/parasite/whatever.  Even  though  Wesker  was  the  closest  thing  the  RE  series  ever  had  to  reaching  “”god hood””  aside  from  Mother  Marinda,  who  was  infected  with  a  whole  different  thing,  the  virus  was  STILL  destroying  him.  I  intended  to  write  a  post  about  why  I  believed  this  was  the  case ,  outside  of  y’know,  the  innate  horror  in  ones  body  being  hijacked  &  co-opted  by  an  invading  force  even  if  that  force  just  happened  to  give  you  neat  super  powers  for  a  short  time,  I  just  haven't  got  to  it  just  yet.  ( Update:  I  finally  did  it,  here  it  is )

Wesker  is  an  unhinged  bioterrorist  &  shameless  misanthrope  to  an  extreme,  but  NO   he’s  actually  not  a  white  s*premacist,  racist,  or  neo  n*zi   in  my  opinion  or  portrayal  BUT  yeah  he  is  a delusional  misanthrope,  he  is  NOT  a  good  person,  &  its  perfectly  fine  for  people  to  point  out  HIS  CREATION  BY  SPENCER  alludes  to  white  s*premacist  ideals  because  it  truly  does.  Its  not  wrong  for  people  to  be  uncomfortable  with  this  either,  imo.

He  was  designed   &  groomed  by  someone  who  had  an  underlying  racist  aesthetic  &  vision.  While  Wesker  seemed  to  not  believe  in  this  vision  in  quite  the  same  way  I  think  it  makes  sense,  from  his  POV,  why  he  tried  to  co-opt  the  idea  of  lower  humans  & better  humans,  into  “wicked  primitive  humans”  vs  an  enlightened,  evolved  race  of  godlike  beings  who  would  rise  from  humanities  ignorant  &  evil  ashes  to  claim  the  earth  &  make  it  a  better  place.  I  also  have  to  say  that  while  Wesker  seems  to  have  good  intentions,  or  at  the  very  least  he  likes  to  think  he  does,  the  reality  is  he’s  very  selfish  so  I’m  not  saying  this  isn’t  insane,  out  of  touch  &  delusional,  can’t  stress  this  enough  bc  another  thing  I  have  written  about  &  touched  on  briefly  is  the  fact  he  basically  never  saw  the  good  in  humanity  &  was  instead  lead  to  view  humans  in  a  very  negative  light.  Even  when  he  was  human,  Wesker  was  deprived  of  much  of  the  ability  to  actually  associate  with,  relate  to,  &  really  BE  a  human.  By  the  time  Wesker  was  free  of  Umbrella,  the  damage  had  already  been  done  &  there  are  VAROUS  events  through  canon  that  solidified   Wesker’s  views  on  humanity  as  opposed  to  allowing  him  to  see  more  than  what  he  had  experienced  &  beyond  the  insidious  idea  that  had  been  implanted  in  him  during  his  time  with  Umbrella   that  there  is  no  such  thing  as  “good”  people.  

SO  that  being  said  I  will  never  be  sympathising  for  him  or  trying  to  portray  him  as  someone  who  is  “”worthy””  of  “”redemption””,  &  I  do  not  hope  to  portray  him  as  someone  good. 

 I  study  why  he  is  what  he  is,  why  he  thinks  what  he  thinks,  how  its  wrong   &  maybe  “tragically”  misinformed  &  thats  kinda  the  purpose  of  this  portrayal  of  him.  Like  I’m  not  gonna  police  people  if  Albert  Wesker  is  their  blorbo  or  whatever  but  don’t  think  I  don’t  know  exactly  what  Wesker  is. 

 I  know  the  games.  I  know  the  canon.  I  understand  the  allegories,  etc.  Its  fine  if  you  take  away  anything  different  or  feel  uncomfortable  with  this  character  but  I’m  not  in  support  of,  excusing,  or  trying  to  support  anything  heinous  or  malicious.  I’m  just  an  rper  &  RE  is  one  of  my  hyper-fixations  &  I  am  playing  Wesker  because  he  was  a  huge  part  of  the  series  &  I  am  good  at  playing  shitty  evil  little  men.

[ Repost  from  here. ]

[armatization-a]

❤️ SPILL THAT TEA

you know, this isn't going to be a funny story. usually i'd talk about the time someone's character asked mine if he could 'feel their bladders beating', or the times i got pressured into instant replying. or the RP groups i was in

but this? this is a much sadder story, and explains who i am today. and why i joined Tumblr

i was actually kinda... pressured into it? by a friend of mine. we didn't share a fandom at the time, but we wrote together. i feel okay talking about this bc no one is gonna guess who this is lmao. but yeah. so we were close before this. like, super close

then they joined my fandom, and everything changed

it felt like if i didn't reply now right now, i was a terrible person. i was always walking on eggshells bc Lord knows we can't upset them. they'd make me write whatever they want but never returned the favour. they once tried to make me write Askr stuff but i outright fucking refused bc i didn't wanna get into FEH. but fuck me, right? because they got into my fandoms for me - despite me never asking them to

i'd post a reply, and get a message a second later. never anything good. always some kind of complaint. it came to a point where the Discord noise actually became upsetting to me because i thought, what did i do now?

i was told i had to make a sideblog bc they didn't wanna write That Stuff on main even though i didn't fucking care. i made one when i remade but still

i wasn't allowed to make friends on this stupid site without being made to feel bad about it. i'd mention my best friend and i'd get a funny response. i'd reply to someone else first on Tumblr and that's that. they once got angry with me for like 2 days because i forgot two things out of the literal 30 things we had together. even tho i even posted "i've finished my drafts please tell me if i forgot something"

i was always the bad guy. always

eventually we remade together, then they told me we can't be mutuals because ??????? i don't even KNOW why. this came out of the blue that we basically couldn't be friends in public anymore. then when i reacted like "okay" they unfriended me and just dumped me as a friend. like. okay

i posted about a certain... event in my life. an event they'd know would be upsetting for me. a couple days later, i made a vague post about feeling free - free from a lot of people from my old blog, but also from them. next thing i know i get a LOT of messages on main about how i'm a terrible person and making a vague jab about the event that happened

so they were stalking my blog. they knew. they fucking KNEW

anyway i accidentally found out they now list my OTP as a NOTP which is hilariously petty considering they didn't hate it before

and this colours why i struggle to get close to people and why i keep everyone at arm's length nowadays. this isn't especially RP related but it sure left me with a lot of Issues lol

[attractive-nuisance-esq]

Hi there, first of all, I want to apologize for trauma-dumping all over your post, but it really struck a chord with me, and it really makes me feel like I’m not as alone as I am. Normally, I’d just thank you and be on my way, but I’ve been sober for about a month now, and I’ve finally realized that I’ll never be able to get help or make friends or start to course correct if I can’t even ask for the things I need, and I just desperately need a friend right now, but I’m just so scared of trying to put myself out there again. The world has never been an easy place for me to navigate, and I have so much grief and rage in me that feels like it is eating me alive. 

I am trying so hard, and I always keep failing and I hate that about myself. I can now acknowledge that my drinking was a coping mechanism and a weapon that I was using to hurt myself. I thought I deserved every fucked up thing in life that has happened to me, I still think that most of the time, I know I��ll never be ‘normal’, but I can’t stop hoping that there’s a place and people for me somewhere..I keep wondering what my life would have been like if I’d been born different, or ‘better’ somehow. I am so sorry, this is all stream-of-consciousness stuff, and I don’t intend to upset you. Your post just struck a chord with me, and I’ve spent the last day basically sobbing because I don’t know how to get this awful poison out of myself. I don’t know how to silence that voice that is always telling me I’ll never be good enough, my life doesn’t hold any value, what the fuck did I think anyway, if my own parents didn’t like me, who would? I don’t know. Thank you for letting me chat at you, and thank you for sharing your story. I just thought it was wonderful and it really hit me like a ton of bricks. I’m trying so hard, and I’m not even sure if it’s too late, but it always feels like I’m screaming into a void and the world would be a better place without me, so thank you for taking a moment to reach out to a stranger. It really means a lot. 

I hope you have a wonderful day, and I am so genuinely sorry if this note makes you uncomfortable in any way.

Babydoll (gn), you don’t need to apologize for taking me up on something I freely offered. If I didn’t have the bandwidth right now to give a little time and a few spoons to someone newly sober, I’d have sent an emoji and moved on. I wrote that post first and foremost for me - almost like a journaling exercise, just to get the feelings out of my head - but I also wrote it for everyone else on here watching Ed and going Through It with him. Maybe someone like you would see it and feel less alone. 🖤 I’m glad we’ve connected through the mental breakdown of a fictional gay pirate; pretty sure that was David Jenkins’ plan all along. 😏

A couple things: I didn’t want to leave you waiting and wondering and worrying about offending me all day, but I am technically “working” right now (I mean. As much as anyone “works” while they’re obsessively refreshing tumblr on new episode days, haha!). I want to give my response to you my full attention and the time it deserves, so I’ll do it properly later tonight or tomorrow at the latest, okay?

The other thing is that I know some of this stuff is really personal and you may not want it floating around as a tumblr post, so if you’d rather chat via DM but felt that was too forward of you, I’m more than happy to move there. But I’m also at a place now where I’m okay with sharing my shit in public, so if for whatever reason you want to keep this conversation going as an ask, that’s completely fine with me, too. Just let me know what makes you most comfortable.

In the meantime, take it one day at a time. And when that doesn’t work, one hour at a time. Sometimes it’s one minute, one second. I hate AA bullshit, but they got that part right. Hang in there until I can whittle you a little wooden shark and hand it over for your safe keeping. 🦈

[afriendlyblackhottie]

Bratty

Summary: Chris didn’t like being ignored.

Pairings: Jealous!Daddy!Chris x Black!Reader

Warnings: Smut, Daddy kink, arguing, reader slaps Chris, slight sugar daddy vibes, swearing, jealous Chris, PR stunt, wall sex, oral (female and male receiving), reverse cowgirl, riding, rough sex, dirty talk, degradation, creampie, name calling

Tagged: @titty-teetee , @harrysthiccthighss , @iam-laiya , @mariahthelioness29 , @night-of-the-living-shred , @liquorlaughslove , @blackmissfrizzle , @stargazingfangirl18, @whiskey-cokenfanfic, @olyvoyl , @zaddychris

(A/N: Knocking out these WIPs by combining some WIPs. Like, reblog, enjoy and all that jazz.)

No one knew about your relationship with Chris. He was the hot guy that every girl around you wanted. Girls were always trying to shoot their shots. You hadn’t done much, but ignore him a few times when you started being friends with his brother’s boyfriend and somehow that ended up with him asking you out. From then on, you’d been a part of a very intense sexual relationship.

Your friends didn’t have an idea. Sure, they knew you were at the very least fucking around with someone. Somehow you managed to get away with not disclosing who anytime they bugged you about it. Your friends were great, but you couldn’t exactly trust them to not tell everyone and their mothers. It wasn’t even like they’d be doing it maliciously, but the scandal it’d be if people had found out that you and Chris had ended up together would be astronomical. 

This is why you were able to save face when you saw another one of those publicity stunts with him and some actress. They were Hollywood’s hottest couple. Gag. You couldn’t even go to the grocery store without seeing pictures of them all over at checkout.

Whatever.

You were Y/N L/N. You didn’t need him anyway. You didn’t have time for fuckboys. No matter how good looking or rich. No matter how good he dicked you down in bed.

So, why did it hurt so bad. 

Again, it’s not like Chris was your boyfriend. Did you even have the right to be upset? If anything, it hadn’t been more than a booty call. You wiped your tears quicker than they could fall because why the hell were you even crying. He wasn’t even worth it. Deep down you kind of knew this was always going to happen. The man was a commitment-phobe. If he really wanted to be with you, he would’ve made it official months ago.

So, you tried to not think about him. Even if you had to see him every time you went to the grocery store. Even tuning out your mutual friends. Then threw out those stupid forever flowers he’d bought you. You could pawn the jewelry, at least. Maybe give the clothes to charity. 

On second thought.

You’re keeping the clothes. Those Chanel bags were staying firmly in your closet. Someone could pry those Christian Louboutin heels out of your cold dead hands. Okay so maybe you were more like a sugar baby than anything else. You needed to stop trying to figure out what you even were because who cares fuck him.

Either way it still stung. 

Fuck it. You could go on a Chris Evans diet. You didn’t need him.

--

Hey baby I’m back home

Let’s get dinner tonight

He’d texted you as you were getting ready. It’d been almost a month since you’d heard from him. Maybe his girlfriend dumped him or his agent told him he didn’t have to play along with what you were sure was a stunt. It didn’t matter. You were no one’s second best and you had a date tonight. With someone that actually wanted to not play games.

Your palm itched because you wanted to text him back so bad. Wanted to tell him to leave you the fuck alone. Except you were trying to go cold turkey. Instead you muted his contact before finishing your hair. 

The dress you were wearing was one he’d bought you and so were the shoes you wore. Not that he cared, but it felt more fun to use the stuff he brought when going out with someone else. You knew that it would have at least gotten under his skin. Your date was some guy your bestie kept trying to push on you.

He was cute enough. Made good money. In the back of your head, though, not that you would ever say it out loud he was no Chris. You weren’t sure any other man would be able to do you like he did. To fuck you so hard that you forgot your own name. How he’d get you into all these crazy positions. How he spanked you and made you call him Daddy. 

You shook those thoughts away. You didn’t need him.

Anyway, you’d gone on like two dates with Devin. He was okay. You liked him so far. You weren’t really expecting much to come out of it, but you were having fun with him. At least he texted you back in a timely fashion. 

There was a knock on the door so you went to grab it seeing your date on the other side. 

You’d been trying this new thing. Where you didn’t kiss to quickly or have sex to soon. Which you’d told Devin your boundaries right off the bat. Dinner was nice. He was cute enough anyway.

Your mind kept wandering to thoughts of him which was annoying. You didn’t want to think about him. You wanted to feel like you were living in a post Chris Evans world.

When he took you home you could tell he was trying to kiss you on the lips. You turned your head at the right moment so he got your cheek. You weren’t surprised that he tried to.

As you were getting ready to take off your shoes and retreat to your room, happy that your roommate was spending the night at her boyfriend’s so you could spend the rest of the night walking around naked there was a knock on the door. You groaned as you looked through the peephole and then backed away seeing the man you were trying to avoid on the other side.

Your stomach turned and suddenly you wanted to throw up your dinner. Maybe if you didn’t make any noise he’d go away. “Y/N, I know you’re in there,” his Boston accent was so thick.

You took out your phone, going to his contact. Seeing all the messages. Then the final one.

I’m coming over

He’d of course been in your apartment before. Sometimes when your roommate had gone to visit her family or stayed with her boyfriend, he’d come over. You’d end up having sex all over just because you could.

“Open the door!” He said. You didn’t want your neighbors to think you are crazy. So, you did. Anything to get him to stop.

“Are you crazy?” You asked in a quiet voice. “My neighbors can probably hear you.”

He pushed passed you with his face all red. “Who the fuck was that guy?” He asked.

Your heart started to race. Stick up for yourself. Like you do in your head. Tell him you’re tired of his shit and tell him to leave.

You took a deep breath before finally opening your mouth to speak. You could do this. “I was on a date,” you finally said with your head held high.

Chris quirked his eyebrow. “What the fuck? Why?”

You shrugged still trying to maintain your composure. Cool, calm, and collected. “Why not? You go on dates with other women. I haven’t heard from you in a month and you think you can make demands?”

He clenched his jaw, scoffing at your words. “That’s work and you know it.”

“Did work tell you to fuck her? To ignore me for a month.”

He rolled his eyes. “You don’t know shit, Y/N.”

“I don’t care. I saw you! Every time I went on Twitter. Every time I went to the fucking grocery store, I had to see stupid tabloids with your stupid faces on it.”

He pursed his lips and sighed. “Look-“

“Did work tell you to wait a fucking month before texting me? Oh, hey let’s go out for dinner,” you mocked him. “After ignoring me for a fucking month! Like fuck off!”

“And look you hopped on another guy’s dick quickly like a fucking slut.”

You’d never laid your hands on someone before, you always felt like you were above that but you gasped and before your brain could even think you’d already slapped his face. Tears welled up in your eyes when you realized what you’d done. “I’m so so so sor-“

But before you could finish what you were saying, he cut you off with a kiss. He slammed you into the wall before lifting you up with one arm and wrapping his hand around your neck. “Think you’re in charge here. I was about to apologize, but you just couldn’t shut the fuck up, huh.”

He pushed up your dress so you were completely exposed to him. It didn’t take him very long for him to undo his pants. Before you knew it, he was pushing into you. Your head lolled back as he started fucking you. Not even giving you the chance to push him away.

You hated how good he felt. How his thick dick made you not even care anymore. You just wanted it. Wanted him. Needed him to fuck you.

“Fuck, Daddy,” you moaned.

“That’s right. I’m your Daddy.” He hissed. “I’m your fucking Daddy.”

You bit your lip as he moved you into the wall. Like he was about to fuck you through it. “Right there,” you gasped as he started fucking into your spot. Right where he knew you liked it. “Don’t fucking stop.”

“See you naughty little slut. You fucking like it.” He was pounding into you.

You nodded trying to move back against him because you still needed it. It’d been two months since you’d last had sex with him. “Yes, I love it.”

“Yeah. You love Daddy’s dick?”

“Yes!”

“Say it. Fucking say it.”

“I love Daddy’s dick.” You moaned trying to keep your voice low so no one could hear you.

He hissed before letting out his own moan. “Louder, Baby.”

“I love Daddy’s dick,” you cried.

“Fucking louder. I want your fucking neighbor to hear you.”

“I love Daddy’s dick! I love Daddy’s dick!” You said a little louder as you tightened around him cumming all over his thick dick. He carried you over to the back of the couch, still stuffed inside of you.

He leaned you over the back of it so that he could kiss you. Thrusting in and out of you. It hurt so good.

He suddenly pulled out of you, grabbing your waist so he could make you turn around. Chris started kissing down your back getting on his knees pushing you up so you were leaning over. He finally tugged ag your panties ignoring the rip that he’d put in them as he pulled them off of you.

His tongue went to your pussy as soon as possible, licking and sucking up all the juices that were there “Fuck,” you mewled. “Don’t stop.”

He swirled his tongue around inside you. Licking you like he was making out with your cunt. His hands came up so he could jiggle your ass.

You started rubbing your clit. Needing to touch the nub because it was like it was throbbing for attention. He smacked your hand away as he started doing it himself.

His fingers were rubbing you so good. His mouth working at the same time. You could feel your orgasm so damn close. Chris didn’t let up until finally your drippy little pussy was gushing as you came hard. He wasted no time in standing up and pushing into you.

Your face felt flushed as he started moving into you again. Chris was never satisfied unless he made you cum so many times you were begging him to stop. Even then he might push you a little because he loves how whiny you get when you’re over stimulated.

“Did you let him fuck you like this?” Chris slammed his hips into you. Needing to keep fucking you as rough as he could.

“No,” you whimpered.

“Just me, huh. No one else could do this to you.” He smacked your ass leaving a stinging pain behind. “Bet you didn’t even let him hit it, huh.”

“No,” you answered.

“Why?”

“Because no one fucks me good like you.”

He chuckled clearly getting some amusement out of your desperation. Before he could cum again, he tore away from you leaving your pussy clenching on nothing as he grabbed your neck so he could take you to the carpet.

He signaled for you to get on you all fours and you thought he was going to make you suck his dick until he got down beside you. He grabbed you hard so he could put you into position. Grabbing a throw pillow to place on the ground before pushing your head into it.

The anticipation of whatever he was about to do was scaring you. Your body trembled as a reminder of the two orgasms he’d forced you through so far. He grabbed both your arms, holding them behind your back so your face was kind of dependent on the pillow that was about to be stained with your makeup for balance.

Oh, he was about to destroy your cunt.

The first thrust was so deep your body tried to pull away before you could even think about it. “No. Don’t you fucking run from me. You take it.”

The only thing you could do was take it since he was holding your hands behind you. He was violating your pussy and there was nothing you could do about it. You gasped with each thrust not being able to even wrap your head around how deep he was. You could feel him in your stomach. 

It was like this switch in your brain had turned off. All you could do was think about how much you needed Daddy’s dick. All you could fucking do. You wanted to be his bitch. Wanted for him to own you. You needed him to never ever stop.

“Oh, no. Did I fuck you stupid, Little Girl? Your stupid little brain couldn’t take it?” He sounded so condescending and it only added to how far gone you were. “Who am I?”

“You’re my daddy,” you whispered.

“I can’t hear you.”

“You’re my daddy,” you whimpered. You bit your lip, burying your head into the pillow because fuck you’d just buy a new one. Your roommate would understand.

He moaned seeing how fucked out he’d gotten you. In the same way your mind had slipped into the subspace, he felt him hit this feeling where he felt so dominant. Like you seemed so small compared to him and what he was doing to you. He reeled in these moments.

“I’m gonna cum,” you cried because right when you announced it, it hit you so deep. Your pussy juices cascading down his length. If he wasn’t stuffed inside of you, you would have probably made a mess everywhere.

Your eyes rolling to the back of your head. It felt so fucking good. Tears sprouted from your eyes and you knew you probably looked as messy as you felt.

“That’s it, Baby.” He let go of your arms, seeing how far gone you were. He pulled out of you so he could pull you into his arms. He cradled you bringing you close. “I’ve got you.” He kissed the side of your head as you cried softly. Your eyes were glazed over from how hard you came.

You sniffled burying your head into his chest. He kissed your nose before getting up with you in his arms and sitting you on the couch. He helped you pull your dress over your head because until then it’d just been bunched up. He undid your bra next so you’d be more comfortable.

“You need some water?” He asked.

You nodded, but didn’t let go of him. You needed him to be close. He chuckled, standing up with you still in his arms as he walked to the kitchen. It was fine he could hold you and get you water at the same time.

“Daddy,” you whimpered.

“What is it, Darling,” he whispered kissing the top of your head.

“I need you.”

“I’m here,” he sighed as he carried you back over to the couch. He brought the glass of water up to your face helping you take a sip. “That’s a good girl.” He set it down on the side table. “Need anything else?”

“I need to pee.”

He chuckled. “Well I can’t help you with that.”

You took a minute in the bathroom to wash your face so you could wake yourself up a little. The night was far from over. You knew that. He was just nice enough to let you take a break.

When you walked back into the living room, he was right there stroking his still hard cock. Your poor Daddy. You’d left him like this. As soon as you got closer to him you got on your knees, ready to take him into your mouth like a good slut.

He licked his lips as you got leveled with his thick cock. “It looks so yummy,” you said, before licking the underside. 

He groaned, bringing his thumb to your cheek. “That’s it, pretty girl, suck Daddy’s dick.”

You got to work. Slobbering all over him. You wanted to leave another mess on him. You could taste yourself on him and it only made you want to work harder. 

“Fuck,” he said under his breath, eyes hooded as he watched you. It was such a pretty sight seeing you on your knees before him. Your mouth worshipping his dick. “Did you suck his dick?”

You shook your head, looking up at him with big eyes. You held your tongue out as you bobbed your head up and down. He could feel the back of your throat every fucking time. Then you went all the way down his dick disappearing into your mouth completely. Your soft lips around him while your throat felt like it would swallow him whole.

“God damn,” he moaned, putting his hands in your hair so he could pull you off and then shove it back in. He fucked your throat and you let him, gagging on him sometimes, but still trying to be a good girl and take it. You didn’t want to let your daddy down. “That’s it, Bitch. You’re a good girl. You knew better than to fuck someone else, huh?”

You hummed around him, nodding your head. “Mhm.”

“Even when you’re a little fucking brat you know this is daddy’s cunt.” He groaned. “Daddy’s mouth. You’re fucking mine. You hear me?” You nodded, but that wasn’t enough for him as he yanked your head up by your hair. “When I ask you a question you fucking answer me.”

“I’m sorry,” you whimpered.

He grabbed your face before slapping your cheek. “Who owns this pussy?”

“You do.”

“See, that’s a good little slut.” He grabbed your hair so you’d have to lean up to kiss him. He made you stand up then turned you around so you’d have to sink down onto his cock again. You yelped as he stretched you out all over again.

His legs were spread wide as he started to move you up and down his length. Fuck he loved watching your ass as you rode him in reverse. You twerked on his length and watching your ass shake like that with your pussy full of him was so damn sexy. “Fuck, Daddy.”

See, perfect. Where the fuck else was he going to find a girl that let him do such depraved things and twerk on his cock while also calling him Daddy then thank him for it.

“Did you kiss him?” He suddenly asked, suddenly feeling irritated all over again. He fucking hated that you even thought it’d be okay to go on your little date.

“He just kissed my cheek,” you answered honestly.

Even the thought of that was enough to make him mad. He pushed you off of him, turning you back around so you had to climb onto his lap. “Don’t you ever, ever, ever pull some shit like that again.”

“I’m sorry,” you moaned.

You heard the keys in the door and he got up quickly so he could get you to your room without your roommate getting an eyeful of either of you. He closed the door, locking it behind. You put your head against his chest, laughing. He chuckled before kissing your forehead. “That was a close one,” he whispered.

“I’m sorry you haven’t even been able to cum.” You giggled. 

“It’s okay we got all night,” he said, smacking your ass.

There was a knock on your door and you groaned. “Um,” your roommates very clearly amused voice came from the other side, “as glad as I am that you’re moving on from the asshole that broke your heart, can you please keep it in your room.”

You scrunched up your face before looking at Chris who did not share your roommates’ sense of humor at the moment. “Sorry,” you said through the door. “I thought you’d be gone.”

“I will be. I just forgot something,” she replied. “Have fun with Devin.”

Chris slammed you down onto the bed. You purse your lips before trying to back away from him. “Just wait for when she leaves. I’m tearing this ass up,” he threatened.

And he did because as soon as you heard the front door close, he started pounding into you again. Spreading your legs wide open as he fucked into your cunt.

“Want me to cum in you?” He asked. “Fill you up?”

“Yes,” you cried.

“Look at it,” he grunted grabbing your hair again so he could force you up to watch his dick go in and out of you. “This is my cunt. Don’t you get forget that.”

“I won’t,” your voice got all whiny again as you started to cum again. This time he started to shoot inside of you giving you every single spurt. “Daddy!”

“Fuck, Y/N,” he moaned himself hips stuttering as he shoved his cum into you.

Finally, as the two of you started to settle down getting you wrapped up in your blankets, he laid next to you to pull you into his arms. You were breathing heavy as he kissed your face. “You better break up with him,” he said so sweetly.

You groaned softly. “Chris... you still did what you did.”

“I promise nothing happened. It was just for the photo op.”

“Yeah, but they’re going to keep thinking something is going on because you don’t want to make things official with me. If you can date so can I.”

He groaned. “Is that what this is about?” He asked. “You need to hear the words?”

“It’s bigger than that. It’s about you respecting me.”

“I do, Baby,” he replied. “Fine. Do you wanna be my girlfriend?”

“Yes.” You poured before kissing his lips. “Was that so hard?”

“No.” He rolled his eyes. “It’s just that I thought you were already my girlfriend and that you just wanted to keep a low profile.”

“Oh...”

“And I wasn’t ignoring you. I broke my phone and wasn’t able to get one right away,” he said. “If you hadn’t been dodging Scott’s calls, he would have told you.”

“Well now I feel like a jerk.”

He sighed. “It’s alright. I should head home, though.”

“Why?” You poured.

“I don’t want Dodger to be alone all night,” he replied. “Wanna come?”

You nodded. “Yes, Daddy.”

“Okay, but on one condition.”

You huffed. “What?”

“First of all, lose the attitude,” he said. “Second, you gotta breakup with David.”

“It’s Devin,” you corrected him.

He gave you a very pointed look. “I don’t give a shit. Breakup with him right now or I’ll spank you.”

You groaned tossing your head back. “That’s so mean we literally just went out.”

“I don’t give a shit. Break. Up. With. Him. Now.”

“Fine.” You rolled your eyes.

After getting ready to go, he made you sit down on the couch so you could write your message. “Can’t I call him? It feels less mean.”

“Either you do it right now or I will,” he said. “Keep complaining and I’ll make it worse.”

He looked over at your shoulder as you typed before snatching it out of your hands. “Chris!” You protested.

“You took too long.” He shrugged before standing up, pulling you into his arms. “See isn’t that better?”

“You’re mean.”

“Yeah? I’ll show you how mean I can be when we get to my place.”

[obeymeluv]

You Steal the Boys’ Clothes

Something I’ve been thinking of for a while.

Lucifer

It was rare the eldest was without his cape, as everything seemed to be a formal event and he must be dressed to impress. Being dressed to impress, however, means being clean so he gets it cleaned from time to time

Lucifer is a very organized, practical man. Constantly towing the line of obsessive for the sake of orderliness.

He knows where his cape should be, and that it’s not there

With a demon’s-only screech that warns Mammon to stretch his calves and run, Lucifer hunts down the three most likely suspects to interrogate them (Mammon, Satan, and Belphegor).

He tries to get a two-for-one by dragging Mammon into the study where Satan sits smugly with a book (because he knows he didn’t do it but MAN is he enjoying this!)

Imagine surprising not one, but THREE demons when you come shuffling down the hall with a Lucifer’s cape wrapped around you like a blanket.

It whispers and it drags and it absolutely DROWNS you.

Very charming. Ethereal, almost like some sort of wedding wear

Lucifer would’ve never imagined you’d be the culprit, and now his poor brain is trying to save and process the idea of you looking so sleepy-happy in his clothes

And the ex-angel falls all over again.

He catches the little cheek nuzzle and way you bunch it around your body, a foot poking out not to get tangled

Satan and Mammon will probably die laughing instead of at his hands, but Lucifer could really care less

Lucifer idly wonders where you’d curled up that he totally missed you, and escorts you gently but red-faced to your room

Satan and Mammon tag along, and when they see Lucifer come out with his cape they can only deduce he put you to bed.

Mammon

With no homework to do and some money in the bank, Mammon was ready to spend the weekend tearing up the town with you!

He was fresh out of the shower and mostly dressed, searching feverishly for his beloved white and brown jacket

Mammon wasn’t the cleanest person by nature (hello, money hoarder and collector of interesting/valuable things) so he tidied up as he went

As he started to suspect one of his little brothers was holding the jacket for ransom, he sent out a group text asking about it

There were several typical smart-ass responses (Lucifer, Asmo, and Satan) and he was in the middle of a snark fight when you showed up at his door somewhere between bashful and chill

In HIS jacket

Mammon’s brain shuts down.

HIS baby in HIS jacket? HELL YEAH! OH GOD, IT’S TOO PERFECT!

FIEND, TAKING HIS HEART!

“It’s kind of a human thing,” you explain. “There is a one-jacket fee among couples. Usually it’s a hoodie.” you tease, reluctant to shrug it off, “But this seems to be your only jacket so I guess I could give it back.”

It’s very subtle, but he’s worn that jacket for centuries and no amount of detergent can disguise the scent that makes his heart skip a beat

Something about the smell of your skin and a hint of his has him purring

You hold the jacket out to him. Mammon wraps his fingers around it and swings it around until he’s holding it over one shoulder

The yellow takes over in his eyes a little more. Gets a little brighter and intense.

“You want to take anything else off?” he husks playfully

Your day out turns into staying in and Mammon is happy to trade his jacket for a shirt you can sleep in (like, forever. It’s fine. Whatever, dummy.)

Leviathan

It was actually really hard to steal Levi’s clothes because he lived in his hoodie and turtleneck. His RAD uniform was really just for show and that wasn’t what you were looking for, anyways. You didn’t want to chill in uniform.

He was very particular about his merch because certain shirts were collector’s items and he didn’t like people messing with his folding patterns

You went to Asmo with your dilemma and he found it absolutely ADORABLE. It was almost enough to make him jealous, really

Somehow (Asmo being Asmo?), the fifth- born was able to swipe one of the green button-ups Levi wore under his RAD uniform

His first thought was to alter the garment to make it fit you (matching outfits? YES!) but Levi would probably kill him. His big bro hated shopping for clothes unless he HAD to have them.

Asmo gets the bright idea to magically/temporarily alter the fabric to fit you. Maybe Levi will like it so much he’ll just give you a shirt! 💖 (Or get some fucking outside time and go buy more shirts!)

Levi catches his own scent somewhere outside of the door and his brain goes off. He hits the pause button at lightning speed.

No one else smells like him! They haven’t shared bath products in centuries! He already finished his laundry so what’s happening?!

His first thought is: Mammon broke into my room while I was in the bathroom and stole something to pawn!

Levi doesn’t even think to take inventory of his stuff, barging out of his room to hunt down his big brother

He’s yelling and whining before he even sees him. Then he sees you. In his shirt.

All the angry words die in his throat as the absolute mortification and adoration sets his face on fire

SO KAWAII! It basically makes up for your normie-ness.

Levi’s stuck standing there, blushing his head off and unable to say anything as his fists shake with joy and nervousness

He gets a nosebleed. One of his brothers are laughing at him.

You guide him back to his room to take care of him, Levi lets you and becomes very fascinated with the idea of you in his clothes .Lots of petting and figuring out you look DOUBLY MEGA CUTE when the magic wears off and you’re just in a pool of fabric.

He’s totally down for matching clothes and definitely lets you keep the one you’re wearing.

Satan

His wardrobe is very...interesting...to say the least

Colors and personal combinations aside, Satan actually has a very smart wardrobe. Lots of basics and easy layers.

You can’t steal his signature green sweater or the blazer he seems to live in, so you settle for an emerald knit sweater that has a bit of a v-neck/university feel to it

It takes Satan a while to notice, as he’s buried in a book. You two tend to gravitate towards each other and just enjoy a cozy, companionable silence

He’s just finished a book and is debating cracking open one from the stack to his left when the color catches his eye

The smooth, sly comment dies on his lips when he realizes he likes the damn thing because IT’S HIS

You look very cozy and warm. It’s a very ‘cuddle me’ kind of look.

Perhaps you could warm his lap? Or give his poor hands a rest under the hem?

Very cheeky and clever. Grabs you by the sleeve of it just to ‘answer his curiosity about whether it matched his nails’.

Does he have a cute university student kink? If he didn’t, he does now?

There’s a 50-50 chance of you guys having sex.

Will definitely want to hold you and cuddle you close, petting the fabric and whispering compliments into it.

If you don’t already have a business/academic attire, Satan will definitely suggest a few pieces because YES. This is a thing he loves and it DOES things to him.

Asmodeus

He’s the type to let you think you stole something

Probably stages what he wants you to steal just so you take it

Honestly, I could just see him dumping some of his clothes on you because you’re dating now and this is a cute thing he read about!

It’s super likely he’s into couple outfits or coordinating outfits, so he’s either spent time in his closet pre-planning or asked you to try on a million things just because

This cutie pie purposely orders THE BIGGEST thing he can find so you can both fit in it at the same time

Asmo loves you to pieces no matter what, but seeing you in his clothes makes him squeal and hit a note Mammon has threatened to murder him over

Ever dramatic, this is like, THE BEST THING EVER

A MILLION Devilgram posts about it (safe ones, of course)

Do you guys spark a couple’s trend and spade of lover’s stealing each other’s clothes to snap a victory pic? Maybe

Probably fake faints at the sheer glory of you in HIS bomb ass clothes. Definitely fans himself

Spoils you rotten with compliments

This man is weak. “Gorgeous! Smother me.” as he falls back on the bed and gestures to his face

He won’t turn down the idea of sexy times (depends on your libido, comfort, etc.) but sometimes he makes raunchy jokes just to be funny. Smothering could also mean using him like a body pillow (which he’s totally okay with).

You get max cuddles and WILL be the envy of Devilgram

Beelzebub

Beel felt a little guilty for leaving you at the House of Lamentation with his brothers

You guys were supposed to hang out after school but there was an emergency practice. The coach always got pre-game jitters and demanded a few last runs. He showered and ran back to the House, hoping you still had time for him.

He tiptoed quietly into his shared room, unsurprised to find you waiting there for him. You’d been caught in Belphie’s sleepy little aura by the looks of it,

Beelzebub couldn’t help the grin or little hum that made it past his lips. Your eyes were open but he didn’t know if you actually saw him. You looked super cute in his humongous bed though

You were getting sleepier and sleepier, your eyelids getting heavier and heavier. Beel pulled the sheets over you and gentle untangled the arm you managed to latch on to

Maybe waking up to a bit of food would make up for everything! Beel toiled away in the kitchen, making a cute little snack tray for the two of you.

In reality, it could probably feed at least twenty, and he ate at least half of what he prepped.

Beel returned to the room with what he considered a decent amount (scraps, kind of, but enough variety! He tried! It’s the thought that counts!) and was surprised to see his sheets all tangled and half-kicked from the bed

You were wearing his jacket now, passed out and turned into the furry lining that usually went across his shoulders and neck

DId you sleep walk? He was trying to understand how you’d gotten into his jacket

Beel realized it was the first time you’d been in his clothes and it was enough to make his heart melt

Super huge on you, obviously (extra fabric everywhere), but so cute! He could basically swaddle you in his jacket

“They’re a restless sleeper,” Belphie yawned. “I thought it would help them calm down.”

It used to work on Belphie, so Beel could see why he resorted to it

Beel offered his twin some food, sitting carefully on your other side.

He shifted some of the parka fur away from your face, trying to fix your hair and nudge your chin up so your nose wasn’t buried in anything. He stroked your cheek a little, mesmerized by the sight of you and how you felt.

Belphie declined, muttering something about, ‘Stop looking like that and eat your food! Gross!’ before Beel settled for patting your head one last time and eating quietly

Belphegor

He’s another one that’s hard to steal from

You’d think it’d be easy since he sleeps all the time, but Belphie really only wears 10% of the clothes he buys

Yes, he’s a pajama snob and has all things comfy and cozy, but hardly any of them smell like him because he falls asleep anywhere with little issue (no special clothes required!)

You thought about stealing his blue cardigan with the pocket, but he’s always sleeping in it!

Belphie picks up on your train of thought, and the frustration, because you fall asleep thinking about it. Dreaming about coyly stealing his cardigan and being all cute and snuggly in bed

It’s enough to wake him up, shuffle to you, and break your sleep. He flops down on your bed with his cardigan unbuttoned and says ‘climb on’ while patting his chest

You’re obviously sleepy and confused and he loves it. Belphie slides you onto his chest and wraps his arms around you, resting bits of the fabric on your back as you settle into him

It’s not the same but it’s close enough

Would you be offended if he got you cow pajamas so he could snuggle you like his favorite pillow? He falls asleep wondering about the answer

He wakes up to see that Beel has covered the two of you with his favorite blanket.

You in his blanket? Against him? Slowly smelling of him and his clothes? It’s the best thing to fall asleep to.

Makes a joke out of your clothes-stealing quest by stripping one of his pillowcases off and putting you in it like a little sack. You have to stay on his bed now because you’re his pillow and all pillows stay on the bed.

“What? You wanted to smell like me! It’s something I use!“ Belphie defends as you wonder whether or not you like this human pillow thing while he snuggles you.

[kelprot-old]

good evening this is an official encouragement to rant and ramble in an insane manner about goro akechi on this post

literally worst thing u could've given me permission to do i'm putting this under the cut to save msyelf the embarrassment becuase im AWFUL abt him and this is going to make no sense

OKOK so firstoff i get soooo heated abt fandom. which is OBVIOUS but i'll go into tags and it's all this infantilising or ship stuff which is HORRIDDDDD makes me want to tear people apart brutally Not Really Though. but kinda.

even IF i feel like atlus's writing team didn't always bring him to his full potential, i still am so utterly obsessed with his royal characterisation. so utterly and deeply it is insane. for starters, i have spent so long just. staring at his sprites for the first 2 sems vs the 3rd semester because they're. the. the.

THE....THE. YEAH. i dont even know how to put it into words but ????!?@!?@?#!@?#!?@#?!@#?. do you understand. do you

i just ???? he's a tragic character, yeah, but. that's not a trait that's exactly out of his control? well. it is, in the sense that the whole [TERRIBLE BACKSTORY] thing inflicted upon him the world's most irritating case of "stubbornness" ever. the whole thing is he could accept help. he could be like "yo" and trust the PTs, but that would. never happen (plus the chance of him even making it out of his situation WITH their help is still considerably low). [getting their help would also count as “admitting weakness” or whatever anime bullshit he would start to lose his shit over, which is . a whole thing] 

his circumstances essentially pushed him into this one-way road to what is practically a glorified suicide. and he's not budging from it. NOOO WAY is he gonna change any of it. because that would mean, in his mind, that everything he's done for the past few years was for nothing. couple that with the fact that there's no way goro thinks he deserves to be forgiven....he's GONE LOL.

he's SO hyperfocused on his shitty little revenge plot that he doesn't seem to give a single shit about what happens afterwards. like yes, shido will be taken down and everyone will hate him and all of that ect ect, but like. there's clearly nothing else he hopes for. he's dedicated himself so wholly to this goal that, i honestly believe that even if he did pull it off and survive, i don't. ??? i dont know what the fuck he'd even do. it'd be like having cold water dumped on you. like congrats, gayboy!! you committed the equivalent of political patricide!!! as your reward, you get a brief feeling of insurmountable joy, and then nothing else !!! congratulations on planning for your future!! and having literally anything else planned !!

i just GHGHRJOAUHGHHHHHHHH im so mad about him. because no matter what happens, no matter his connection to Joker or anyone or literally anything else, he's not changing his mind LOL. he's deadset on practically killing himself.

and ROYAL. i dont even know where to start with the third semester. genuinely dont know what to say but im grabbing it and strangling it and blowing it up brutally. literally no way to translate my thoughts into words

[beauty-and-passion]

Hey, sup! So... I noticed that you like to do theories and all kinds of reasoning. THEREFORE I brought you a good brainstorm theme (well, I think it's a good one, and hasn't been discussed yet) *trumpet sounds* "How do you think the rooms of the other sides will look like?"

Ho-hooo, very nice ask we got here! Time to extensively talk about something very cool!

Possible Rooms Thomas Can Make In Real Life

Let’s start with the canonical definition of a Side’s room, given during AA-part 2:

[Logan]: The room just varies based on whatever your present location is.

So, if Thomas is in his house, the room will be the Side’s version of said house. If he’s outside, the room will change as well.

Having said that, let’s pretend Thomas will always show us the Sides’ rooms while he’s at home. Being outside requires too many variants, so let’s keep this in the realm of possibilities.

Of course I will also talk about how I think the rooms work. But it will require another post, because this one will be long enough.

________________

Roman

Roman’s room is probably the next one we will see and, considering Roman is Creativity, Ego and a huge Disney fan, I’m pretty sure his room will be plastered with Disney posters, drawings, theater posters, Thomas’ posters and mirrors everywhere. Nothing else. All tables are covered with theater scripts, all floors are covered with more scripts and rejected ideas. Kitchen? More like “another place where to put all my ideas”. Living room? Yes, there should be a couch somewhere under all those scripts.

In other words, the literal representation of “creative confusion”. And while under normal circumstances this could be the result of a bubbling creativity, in Roman’s case it could also work as a way to show how confused and depressed he is. The confusion wouldn’t be something like “it seems chaotic but it actually makes sense for me”, but more like “everything has no meaning anymore. Who cares”.

________________

Logan

Considering his character, Logan’s room could be a completely perfect replica of Thomas’ room, but a lot cleaner and a lot more empty. No knick-knacks, no food lying around. Something that looks more like a display home, rather than a real one.

But with books. A lot more books. Shelves filled with books everywhere, all perfectly organized. Do you need a book about this or that topic? Logan knows exactly which is the best one and where it’s located in his home.

Also, it can work for his upcoming arc: since Logan has more and more issues with accepting his own feelings, a place completely devoid of any personality would be a great way to show how hard he’s trying to keep everything under control, even in his own personal space.

________________

Janus

Considering we have only one season left, I doubt we will see the other three dark sides’ rooms, but what would they look like, if Thomas decides to show us?

Janus’ room is the most difficult one, because there are a lot of possibilities. It could be dark and mysterious, with smokes and mirrors everywhere for... obvious reasons. It could look like a 1920′s version of Thomas’ house. It could be Thomas’ house, but with opposite colors.

Or it could be how Thomas’ house looks like, but seen on the other side of a mirror. In other words: everything switched, from the position of every room, to the smallest things. The kitchen has always been on the right? Now it’s on the left. The stairs are on the left? Now they’re on the right. The couch is on the right? Now it’s on the left. All the books in the library are switched places, every single little thing is on the opposite side.

Just imagine how YOUR own house would look like, if everything is on the opposite side compared to where it actually is. A fucking trip, I would bump into every wall and get lost 200 times a day XD However, it should be possible to realize, with some editing and by switching places.

________________

Remus

That’s an easy one: Thomas goes outside, dumps the camera into a trash bin and bam, we’re in Remus’ room.

Jokes aside, Remus’ room should have a lot in common with Roman’s: still creative chaos but a lot messier, considering Remus is the part of Thomas’ creativity that can’t pour his thoughts out too much. Less mirrors because who cares and more creepy stuff. A LOT MORE. Would Remus have a human anatomy mannequin with removable organs? Sure. Would Remus like taxidermy and have stuffed animals everywhere? Yes. Would he have the creepiest paintings possible? Absolutely. Would he have a lot of chemical stuff to throw together and see what could happen? Of course. Would his room catch fire at least once a week? Obviously.

In other words: Roman would hate the place, Logan would love it, Patton would be extremely concerned, Virgil would exorcize it at least once a week and Janus would just sigh and grab the nearest fire extinguisher because, sooner or later, something will surely catch fire.

[bellafarella]

angst 17 and/or fluff 13 and/or misc 1

choices 😉

Thanks for sending me these!! I wrote for all 3; the angst one is a fic on it’s own, and the fluff & misc are in a fic together. 

The sentences came from this post 

You can also read both of these here: angst & fluff/misc

**********************************************

Put your arms around me

Angst #17: “If you don’t hug me right now I think I might fall apart.”

Ian and Mickey have been taking care of Franny for the past three months. Debbie took off with her loser, new girlfriend and she promises she’ll be back in another two months. She was going to take Franny with her but Mickey offered to let them watch her. Franny got all excited, begging her mom to let her stay with her favorite uncles. Debbie relented and took off the next day. Ian and Mickey have a second bedroom in their new apartment that they were going to convert into a guest room anyway so this became Franny’s room until Debbie comes back for her child. 

Ian picks Franny up from school, meeting her in front. She rips her mask off as she runs over to him, hugging his legs. “Hey Fran,” he greets her, tapping her back.

“Hi,” she says in her tiny voice. “No uncle Mickey?” she asks when she lets go, looking up at him and shrugging her shoulders. 

“Not today, he had something to do,” Ian tells her. “We’ll meet him back at home later.”

“Okay,” she says simply. She takes his hand when he offers it to her and the two walk off school grounds. He asks her how school was as they make their way to the ambulance parked down the street. Ian has Franny ride in the back, strapped in so that she stays safe as he drives them back home. 

They get inside the apartment, Ian locking the door behind them as Franny runs in. “Go wash your hands, Fran,” he yells after her.

“I know!” she yells back in her little voice. 

Ian walks to the kitchen sink to wash his own hands. As he dries them off, he feels his phone vibrating in his pocket. It’s from a private number so he picks up just in case, “Hello?”

“Hello, is this Ian Gallagher?” the person on the other end asks.

“Um, yes, who is this?” he asks, making his way back to the living room where Franny is now dumping her stuff from her school bag on the coffee table.

“I’m calling from South Shore Hospital. We have a Mikhailo Milkovich that was brought in today and -”

“What happened? Is Mickey okay? I’m his husband,” he says in a panic, realizing they must know he’s his husband since they called him.

“Yes, sir. Mikhailo was in an accident, he’s okay, but he’s asked us to call you,” the person tells him. 

“I’m on my way now,” he tells him before the person tells him where exactly he is and then he hangs up. “C’mon Franny, we gotta go get uncle Mickey.”

“Can I bring a toy?” Franny asks.

“Just one,” Ian tells her. 

Franny grabs one of her toys quickly from her room before the two are back out the door and in the ambulance. Ian doesn’t park too close, seeing as this is still a stolen ambulance, and the two walk the rest of the way to the hospital.

Ian finds the nurse’s station of who he spoke to on the phone before she leads him to Mickey’s room. Franny’s holding Ian’s hand as they make their way inside and see Mickey laying on the hospital bed with his leg in a cast. 

“Oh my God, Mick,” Ian says, tears threatening to fall already.

Franny lets go of Ian’s hand to run to Mickey’s side, she looks at him and he says, “Hey, kid.”

“Are you okay, uncle Mickey?” she asks so softly he barely hears it.

“I’m okay,” he tells her but he looks up at Ian, nodding his head softly, reassuringly.

Ian joins them closer to Mickey and leans down, kissing him softly on the lips. He pulls back and asks, “What the hell happened?”

“Some jackass wasn’t looking and hit me with his fuckin’ car,” Mickey tells him. “Fractured my leg. They said I’ll be in this cast for like six to eight weeks.”

Ian looks down at his leg in the cast and how this could have been so much worse. A fractured leg is nothing but had this car hit him harder or at a different angle and - 

Ian starts tearing up and Mickey says, “Hey, Ian, I’m okay,” his hand grabbing his where it’s resting on the bed beside him.

“If you don’t hug me right now I think I might fall apart,” Ian tells him, letting the tears slip down his cheeks.

“Come here,” Mickey mumbles, pulling him closer. Ian leans down and Mickey wraps his arms around Ian awkwardly seeing as he’s sitting up in bed and Ian’s crouching down.

Ian shoves his face in the crook of Mickey’s neck and lets the tears fall, breathing in his scent, and praying to whatever God there is that his husband is okay and here in his arms.

Ian feels Franny hugging his legs so he pulls back and lifts her up. Mickey pats the bed next to him, away from his broken leg, and Ian puts her down next to him. Ian sits in the chair, pulling it right up beside the bed and waits. The doctor comes in not much longer to explain to them both what Mickey can and cannot do for the first couple of weeks and how recovery will go, before they are free to go. 

Ian wheels Mickey out of the hospital in a wheelchair with Franny walking closely beside him. He brings Mickey all the way to their stolen ambulance in the wheelchair, helps him into the vehicle and tells them both to wait there before rushing back to return the wheelchair and running back to get them all home. 

That night while they’re lying in bed, Ian sleeping on the other side of his fractured leg, he snuggles close, resting his head on his chest. “I felt like my heart was going to drop out of my ass when I got a call from the hospital saying you were in an accident,” Ian whispers.

Mickey’s arm is wrapped around him and he’s soothingly running his fingers up and down Ian’s arm. “I’m okay,” he says softly. 

“It could have been so much worse though, Mick…”

“It wasn’t though. I’m right here,” Mickey reassures him.

“Uncle Mickey?” they hear from the open doorway. 

“C’mon in, Fran,” Mickey tells her. 

“Be careful of uncle Mickey’s leg,” Ian reminds her. 

Franny slowly climbs onto the bed, Ian moving over so she can get in the middle. She snuggles right up against Mickey like Ian just was and says, “I’m happy you’re okay.”

“Me too,” Mickey tells her, kissing her forehead. 

Ian snuggles up behind her, reaching his arm over so he can hold Mickey’s hand. Mickey squeezes his hand and the three of them fall asleep together, thankful that Mickey’s okay.

/////////////

A teenage crush 

Misc #1: “All I do is drink coffee and say bad words.” & Fluff #13: “Are you flirting with me?” “You finally noticed?”

Ian hates his warehouse job. Well, he doesn’t hate one part about it, which is his very grumpy but very hot supervisor, who on his first day meeting him was told, “All I do is drink coffee and say bad words.” It immediately made Ian like him. 

Ian hasn’t had a legal job since he worked at the Kash’n’Grab when he was like fourteen. So much has happened in the last ten years. Most of it bad but also some good. He was able to finally get stable after being diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder like his mother and he found himself this job. It’s been about six months that he’s working for Amazon and the only good part about coming to work every day is seeing his supervisor. 

Usually people don’t develop massive crushes on their superiors but not Ian. The first day he started and he met Mickey Milkovich, Ian thought his heart would jump out of his chest. He’s never felt this way before. He’s been with plenty of men in his short lifetime but there’s something about Mickey that - mmph. He makes Ian act like a teenager with a crush again. 

Mickey is abrasive. He has crude knuckle tattoos. He has the most fowl, dirty mouth Ian’s ever heard. He has piercing blue eyes and black hair. He’s been at the center of Ian’s dreams for the past six months. 

He has no idea what Mickey’s sexuality is. They don’t hang out. Mickey’s the warehouse supervisor, he’s his boss. They chat here and there but it’s never anything more than pleasantries. Mickey doesn’t do small talk and has told him multiple times to ‘shut the fuck up and get back to work, Gallagher’. But Ian has his suspicions. He’s noticed Mickey’s eyes wandering his body when he comes into work in tight shirts or if his jeans are a little more snug than he normally wears. 

Ian tries to get Mickey to notice him more than just his employee. He wants to spend time with him outside of work. He wants to bend him over and fuck him, give him the best dick he’s ever had. 

Ian snaps out of it, trying to get back to work. He continues going through the box, making sure the products aren’t expired. It’s not the most thrilling job Ian’s ever had but it’s a stable job, a stable paycheck - even if it’s minimum wage - so it’s giving him the security and stability he needs in his life right now. 

“Gallagher,” he hears and knows immediately it’s Mickey. He smiles to himself before turning around to see the shorter man making his way over with his trusty clipboard. He looks so good today. He looks good everyday but today he has on some dark blue jeans and a burgundy crewneck sweater that’s rolled up his forearms.

“Hey, Mick, what’s up?” Ian says, going for nonchalant and not like he was just checking his boss out.

Mickey rolls his eyes slightly like he always does when Ian says Mick. No one else calls him that but he doesn’t tell Ian to stop so he doesn’t, he likes the tiny smile he sometimes gets from him when he calls him that. “When you’re done with those, come see me in my office,” he tells him.

Ian gets a sudden wave of nausea and panic. Mickey must notice because he clicks his tongue and says, “Man, calm down, you’re fine. Just - come see me after, yeah?”

Ian nods, mutters out a, “Yeah,” before Mickey walks away. 

Ian works quickly, wanting this over with so he could see what Mickey wants. He said you’re fine so this can’t be a bad thing, he can’t be getting fired… right?!

Less than an hour later, Ian knocks on Mickey’s open door. He has a tiny office in the corner of the warehouse. It’s not much but it’s his own private space so that must be nice. “Hi,” he says softly when Mickey looks up.

“Come in, shut the door,” Mickey tells him.

Ian nervously steps inside, closing the door behind him before walking over to the chair on the other side of Mickey’s desk and sits down. Mickey says, “So I have a job opportunity for you.”

“What?” Ian asks a little louder than he expected.

Mickey smiles softly before it disappears. “Yeah, man, what did you think I was gonna fire your  ass?”

“Kind of,” Ian tells him honestly, making Mickey laugh.

Mickey clicks his tongue, “I told you you were fine, man.”

“How fine?” Ian tries to flirt.

It fails because Mickey’s eyebrows shoot up and he asks, “What?”

“Nothing, so a job opportunity?”

“Uh, yeah, so I’m leaving and they need a new warehouse supervisor and figured you should do it,” Mickey tells him.

“Wait - what? Where are you going?” 

“Another job opportunity elsewhere for more pay. So, you interested or not? You get a higher salary and benefits.”

“Why me? I’ve only been here six months,” Ian asks confused.

“It won’t be for another couple months or so but - look, you’re a hard worker, you don’t take any shit, you work quickly and efficiently and you’re always on time and never call in sick. I was told to choose a replacement and I chose you,” Mickey explains, shrugging a little right at the end, looking a little nervous.

Ian smiles softly. Hearing Mickey say these things about him - things he’s noticed about him, it makes him feel really good. “Fuck yeah - I - sorry, yes, I’m definitely interested in the job,” Ian stammers.

Mickey smiles at him and nods. “Good so there’s like paperwork and shit you’re gonna need to fill out. Do you have anywhere to be right after your shift or can we do that then?”

“That works,” Ian grins.

Mickey nods again before saying, “Cool, now get the fuck out of my office and get back to work, Gallagher.”

Ian can’t get rid of his grin as he stands and leaves his office. He’s getting a promotion and Mickey won’t be his boss soon so he needs to try and seal the deal soon. Spending some time together after work is exactly what Ian had been hoping for since he started this job.

Ian’s working late tonight, doing some overtime since a few people called out today so by the end of his shift it just seems to be him and Mickey left in the warehouse. He quickly uses the washroom, making sure he doesn’t look too much like shit before heading to Mickey’s office. Just like earlier, the door is open so he knocks on the side lightly and says, “Hey,” before walking in and going to sit across from him.

“Hey, did everyone else fuck off yet?” Mickey asks him.

Ian can’t help but chuckle lightly. “Yeah, just us.”

Mickey hums, eyeing Ian. Ian sees this look, appreciates it, and definitely wants to jump on it but before he can, Mickey looks down at his desk and grabs a stack of papers. “So, this is what you gotta fill out. Mostly stupid information shit we already know and just some other forms mostly for you to keep that shows proof of your increase in salary and the benefits you’ll get. Just need to make sure you sign the copies for us and the rest you keep,” he explains.

Ian takes it from Mickey’s offering and quickly glances through it. “Do you need this back right away?” he looks up to see Mickey watching him.

“Nah, just bring our copies back whenever,” Mickey tells him. He thumbs at his bottom lip gently and Ian just wants to bite it. “Don’t wanna keep you if you got somewhere to be or whatever.”

Ian smirks, “Are you flirting with me?”

Mickey smirks right back and says, “You finally noticed?”

This shocks Ian. “Sorry what?! When did you ever flirt with me before?” he asks.

Mickey rolls his eyes, “Maybe it ain’t obvious or whatever but I’m your boss, man… can’t just straight up tell you I want you to fuck me in my office.”

Ian’s heartbeat speeds up and blood rushes straight to his cock, it twitching in his jeans. “You - I -”

“Just get the fuck on me already,” Mickey says, putting him out of his misery.

Ian stands, pushing his chair back. He walks around the desk in time for Mickey to stand before  he’s grabbing his face in his hands and kissing him hard on the lips. Mickey moans into the kiss, his hands grabbing onto Ian’s waist and pulling him hard against him. Ian brings his right hand down Mickey’s side and to his thigh, lifting it slightly and pushing Mickey up against his desk before he hops up and sits on it, Ian getting in between his legs.

“Wanted this for so long,” Ian tells him as he kisses his way down his jaw and to his neck. 

“Mmm, me too,” Mickey says, running his fingers through Ian’s hair and keeping his head where it is, sucking on his neck.

Ian pulls back slightly, looking into those piercing blue eyes that he’s fantasized about looking back at him just this way. They hear a noise from outside of his office so Ian steps back. Mickey jumps off the desk and makes his way to the door. He looks out and turns back to Ian, “Just the cleaning crew. We should probably -”

“You wanna come over? Um, if you want to like pick up where we left off?” Ian asks hopefully, a small smile on his face.

“You live alone?” Mickey asks, eyebrow cocked.

“Um… no,” Ian says, sadness creeping in that his one shot with Mickey got ruined.

“I do. Grab your shit and let’s go back to my place, Red,” Mickey flirts.

Ian grins, doing exactly what he’s told before the two of  them rush out of there and Ian gets exactly what he’s wanted for the past six months, Mickey Milkovich, more than just his boss.

Send me some sentence prompts 

[softscummymammon]

©Stress©

Inspired by:: @zed-sabre

And there post //here//...

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚❃.✮:→⋇⋆✦⋆⋇←:✮.❃˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Jason wasn't in the best condition, he knew it. Well, after being beaten by the Joker, killed by a bomb, woken up in his grave, crawled out of his tomb, and thrown into the Lazarus Pit to be used as a weapon against the man that replaced him, he was just fuckin dandy. Thanks for asking.

He was stressed, but didn't do anything to help. Headaches frequented him, even though it was a phantom reminder of the times Joker used his skull as a drum. The Lazarus pit made him, angry, blood thirsty, and he hated the feeling. His immune system was shit, even after the Lazarus pit dip, so heat fevers and colds were almost a constant. But, he pulled through. He was a bat, and he'd been to hell and back, nothing would keep him down.

So, the white strands of hair was a surprise to him. To be honest, nothing should really surprise him anymore, but the universe always seems to find a way. It first started out by a white patch of hair along the hairline of his forehead. He swore, wondering why he was looking like an old man faster than the actual old man in this dysfunctional pigpen they call a family.

But, it didn't spread like normal grey hairs. To add to that, his hair wasn't grey, it was pure white. Looking in the mirror, his dull eyes stared at the white patch of hair in mild discomfort.

Jason didn't know why he was so off set about this, it was just another way of showing him that he was the black sheep of the family. Bruce tended to have a running theme going on with children; black hair, blue eyes, orphan. And by being Red Hood, a mob boss that distributed drugs and killed people, he was even more caste out. The demon brat always liked to point that out.

It happened a few days ago. The bats had spent a whole night recapturing convicts that escaped in the mass Arkham breakout. He had been fighting Killer Croc in the sewers for almost 2 hours. He smelled like shit, he felt like shit, and really, he was sick of all this shit!

Alfred demanded he take a shower immediately, or he would be forced to sit in the cave until the stink wore off. He'd rather take a shower that sounded really good right now than miss out on Alfred's tea and cookies.

He timidly stripped his suit off, piece by piece. He wasn't uncomfortable with his body, per se, but he knew Dick and Bruce were. Jason couldn't take his gloves out without Dick looking sick and Bruce having that expression like he'd rather be in a whole other dimension.

For good reason, he went to the locker rooms and set his stuff aside before wrapping a towel around his waist and walking into the showers. The sound of running water told him it was already pre-occupied, but the sound of a voice calling his name made him stop.

Tim's muffled voice cane from the shower room, " Come on in, I'm almost done and the water's still hot. "

Sighing, Jason hesitantly grabbed the sliding door and opened it. He caught Tim sliding on some sweatpants and most likely one of Dick's hoodies. Tim turned and waved, a tired face giving away nothing but exhibition. Jason nodded and stepped over to one of the showers to the side. Turning a shoulder towards Tim, he made sure to keep the squirt in peripheral.

What he didn't expect, was a slight touch to his shoulder after he turned on the water. Quickly grabbing the wrist and spinning, he held the idiot's wrist in a lock before gasping when he saw Tim gritting his teeth and holding his wrist.

Jason grunted and let go of Tim, " How much of an idiot do you have to be to do that, Replacement? "

Tim shook his hand but soildered on, " I wasn't gonna do anything-" Jason made a face that clearly showed his disbelief, "but there was nothing on your file saying you have vitiligo. "

Jason rose an eyebrow, " Because what's the use of putting something in a file that's not there? Seriously Tim, vitiligo? You sniffing the steam in here or are you just that sleep deprived? "

Tim made an incoherent noise, " Wha- I'm not doing drugs if that's what you're asking, I got four hours of sleep last night actually, and go ask anyone else. They'll see exactly what I'm seeing Jason. I wouldn't lie to you about this. "

Jason grunted and turned away towards the running water of his shower, " Mind your own business, Tweedle Dee. " Tim sighed, but made his way out of the room. Getting into the shower, Jason let out a sigh and let his shoulders droop. Closing his eyes, he thought over what Tim had said. Something about vitiligo, but, if he ever had it, why hadn't he seen it? He'd never seen it on his body before.

Sighing heavily, he put that thought on the back burner for now and set on scrubbing the sewage out of his hair. Once he was done, and decided he smelled marginally better, he got out of the shower and put on the clothes he picked out for himself.

Once he was covered, he breathed slightly easier. Shutting the water, he made his way out of the showers and towards the main center of the cave. What he didn't like, was that fact that it felt like he was walking into the wrong classroom at school.

You ever get that feeling? Walking into the wrong classroom, and everyone stares at you? Yeah, that's what he's feeling right now, and he's late. Tim at least has the balls to look sheepish. Bruce and the others however, are staring right at him. It makes his skin crawl.

Dick slides up to him with faux cheer, " Hey Littlewing, how was the shower? You smell better at least. " Jason growled, " Thanks, Dickweed. I used that new shampoo. "

Dick put a hand dramatically over his heart and hung off of him, " You wound me so, Jason. How could you? " Jason shrugged him off and felt a little satisfaction when he heard the telltale thud of Dick's body hitting the stone floor, “ Very easily, actually. " He turned to Bruce and Tim, " Alright, what did the tattletale tell you this time? "

Tim raised his hands, " I was only asking if he had ever seen the patches of skin I saw-" Jason glared and Tim shrunk away, " Again, not your fucking business, Replacement. " Tim had the gall to shrug, " I'm a Robin, staying out of people's business' is my Kryptonite. "

Jason growled but was stopped when a heavy hand was placed on his head. He snapped up, watching carefully as Bruce, not the Bat, looked at him curiously. Taking in everything about Jason's appearance and reactions. Jason felt like he was under a microscope, and he didn't like it at all.

Before he could pull away, Bruce laced his fingers through Jason's hair and gently rubbed some of the white strands between his fingers. Jason blue screened. Frozen as Bruce played with his hair. Don't laugh at him, he'd hasn't gotten this close to affection from the Old Man in what feels like forever.

Whatever spell was cast over the cave was broken when Bruce titled his head and pressed a soft, almost feather light kiss to his hair. Jason gaped in awe as Bruce leaned back to look him in the eye. He couldn't stop the tears the spilled past his defenses. His father wiped them away with a thumb, his hand had moved from his hair to his cheek.

Bruce's eyes widened and he went to take his hand back but Jason quickly grabbed his hand and held it there against his skin, "Don't you dare fuckin start what you can't finish, Old Man. " Bruce chuckled, but sighed heavily, as if the world sat on his shoulders. Knowing Bruce's self destructive tendencies, the old man probably felt like it too.

Bruce sighed, " I know you hate me, Jason. But son, don't leave us out on anything that could eventually hurt you. " Jason, once again, froze, " You think I hate you? " Bruce rose a brow, " Don't you? Everything I've done to you... " Jason sighed and shook his head. He couldn't explain it, but his tongue felt like cotton in his mouth. Without saying what he was trying to show, he took Bruce's hand and leaned further into it.

Grabbing the strap of shirt over the patch of skin Tim had mentioned, he pulled it back for Bruce to see. His father's eyes snapped to that spot, and his meticulous gaze scanned over the skin. His other hand came up to trace part of the skin where it abruptly changed into a paler tone.

Jason could see the change into skin in the reflection of Bruce's eyes, and wondered how he missed such a change. It felt kind of awkward; his father tracing his skin with light fingers while his siblings watched from afar. The tense air still and suffocating while Bruce analyzed.

With a heavy sigh, Bruce looked to the same patch of skin that seemed to appear on his forehead too, by Tim's words, not his own. The same look washed over Bruce's eyes before he completely let go. Jason cursed himself for wanting the warmth back. But before he could complain, Bruce turned to the Batcomputer and searched up the skin condition Vitiligo.

By now Jason had already accepted his fate, so he watched as Bruce pulled up pictures and turned to look at Jason again. A deep hum snapped the tense air like a coil spring and Jason was suddenly bombarded with his most clingy siblings hugging his tightly.

Dick was pouty that Jason had dumped him off earlier while Steph was telling him how cool he would look. None of them could compare though, to the warmth in Bruce's eyes as they locked gazes. Jason wondered if Bruce always had that look in his eye, or was the pit covering it up for the longest time.

That thought brought tears to his eyes, and Dick, Steph, and even Tim who was most likely pulled into the hug held him tighter. Bruce too even set his hand over Jason's cheek. Jason sighed heavily and leaned into the touch of his family, perhaps he could get used to this.

»»————>»»——⍟——««<————««

[aimasup]

So I saw a bunch of Human AU Sanders Sides and thought I could make my own version

Backstories under the cut for anyone who’s interested

(Tw warnings such as mentions of abuse, homophobia and car accidents but it’s angst with a happy ending don’t worry)

-Long post-

-Patton:

Toddler to child: Parents love me and I love them! Lots of friends in kindergarten! Met Logan one day! He’s so smart!

Grade school: More friends! Logan’s opening up! Everything’s perfect!

Highschool: My parents are arguing more and I’m tired Meeting Roman and Remus! Roman’s so cool! Meeting Virgil! Virgil needs a hug! I feel sad and stressed sometimes and I don’t think I want to worry anyone with it.- Virgil’s with us now yay!

College: My best buds are here! I got into an accident halfway through my studies Virgil please don’t feel responsible. It’s not your fault. I’m so sorry Logan I should have understood your situation better. Roman please get mad I deserve your anger and I feel awful and empty but I shouldn’t show it because some people have it worse than I do I know it why do I feel this way? I’m fine honestly this is fine everything’s fine I’m just the problem -

Adulthood: So. I’m not the problem. I just need to work on my attitude and my flaws. I love my friends and family so much because they let me know that expressing my feelings is ok! My parents are fine now! I’m getting professional help! I work in an animal care center with Virgil! Roman is successful and pursuing his dreams! Met this guy named Dean and he works with Logan in the bookstore next to our center! He’s fun but he might need to stop lying so much, but other than that I’m happy with where I am now!

-Virgil:

Toddler to child: Parents love me and I love them. Bullies can go suck it. I feel bad that my parents always spend their time comforting me but they’re my whole world and I feel safe with them.

Grade school: Bullies are getting worse. Dad’s dead. Mom is stressed and busy so I don’t want to trouble her further. She still spends time with me for some reason. I don’t think I deserve friends. MCR is great. I met Dean and Remus. They’re. Interesting. I hate Roman.

High school: Oh my god everything is stressful and oppressive and everyone is scared of me. That’s good. Maybe. Met Patton, Logan and Roman. They’re only somewhat scared? Hm. Dean and Remus are getting into even more trouble than usual and pulling me into them. Maybe they aren’t good for me with how they’ve been acting lately. I’ll go be with Patton. - Maybe they don’t really accept me they’re just waiting to kick me out like everyone else why would they even like me-

College: Mom I love you so much I swear I’ll get a good job and make this college money worth it you’ll see. And things are surprisingly less stressful? I really like my friends? Patton why the hell did you save me from that car. Logan you have some explaining to do. Roman you shut the fuck up. - Everything is my fault I should have never said anything why am I always like this everyone was right about me- 

 Adulthood: Mom!! You can now retire!! Roommates with Patton, Logan and Roman now and I love being with them so much. And. Dean and Remus are still around. Well then. Whatever. I work a nice job at an animal care center with Patton and I have my friends and I’m learning to be more open and things are going well for now. Not bad for a life.

-Logan:

Toddler to child: Parents go to work most of the time and I see them every other weekend. Who cares about everyone else in kindergarten I have my books and Crofters. Oh hello Patton.

Grade school: I’m smarter than everyone else and I know it. Patton is a wonderful companion. I’m doing well for my age. 

High school: Virgil and Roman are interesting. Remus needs to chill. Virgil no let me lay some facts down for you because you are valid you hear me. Oh! Oh my gosh! I met this amazing student and he makes me feel special and happy! I think I love him! - It hurts but that’s fine- 

College: I’m coming for those degrees! Patton needs to stop asking me to leave my boyfriend. He doesn’t understand how important this man is to me! I can stand a little pain! Wait what happened to Patton. Virgil? Roman? Ok. Wait. Shit. I’m an idiot. I can’t believe it took me this long to figure out - I’m such an idiot it doesn’t matter how knowledgeable I am I’m still a gullible moron when it comes to relationships and everything my ex has ever done and said to me is all my fault because I fell for his manipulations-

Adulthood: Ok. I trust my therapist and my friends when they say it’s not my fault and that it’s alright. What I felt with my ex wasn’t love and I’m not a moron for falling for him. I can always start over. Like with the bookstore I now own with my receptionist Dean. Apparently he knows Virgil huh. They frequently bicker whenever Dean goes to their animal care center to buy snake feed so that’s interesting. My parents have retired and are now trying to make up for lost time with me? I appreciate it I suppose. Now I live with my companions and contact my family and things are alright.

-Roman:

Toddler to child: Parents love me and I love them! They buy me anything I want! They support my dreams! But Remus keeps bullying me and I’m not sure how to feel about him. He’s still my brother

Grade school: I have so many friends! Extra-curricular activities because I’m really talented! Remus has new friends to cause trouble with oh boy. More people to bully me the better for him ugh. Virgil especially creeps me out. I’m getting a little concerned as to how my parents are treating Remus but I’m sure he’s fine 

High school: Ok. So. Apparently telling my parents that I like guys is a bad idea. - That’s going to scar on my back for sure- They treat me completely differently from when I was a kid? And I met Patton and Logan and I think I might be a tad spoiled by my family. Also Virgil’s here but he’s getting more and more ok. I’ll hang out with him now. - I’m ungrateful and a disgrace and I’m not as creative as I ever thought I was- 

College: Welp. I’m moving out. I wish Remus the best of luck because I think he’s coming too. My parents officially suck as much as Logan’s current boyfriend. He needs to dump him. Wait I’m a YouTuber now! Yay! - I’m getting more and more stressed and overwhelmed from debt and I fear rejection from my fans and friends the moment I say something out of line and the moment I run out of good ideas for them- Oh shit Patton what happened!! Logan what did you do!! Virgil you shut the fuck up!! Remus you’re not helping!! - I could have prevented this why didn’t I realize this earlier am I that self absorbed-

Adulthood: Yes I’m a full time YouTuber and actor and singer now!! Patton, Logan and Virgil live with me now and they even work close together! Remus is now a comic book artist and novel author, hope he doesn’t traumatize people too much. Logan’s receptionist Dean sure is a character.  I still fear rejection- but I know things will be good for now!

-Deceit:

Toddler to child: Where are my parents. Why is the orphanage so small and why do people look at me weird when I talk. I’m never getting adopted.

Grade school: Well, I’m adopted now I guess. No way in hell am I telling them everything that happens daily in my life. Why do my new parents think my bedroom door needs to be removed. They took my little garden snake because it wasn’t a ‘normal’ pet? Hm. Why hello there Virgil and Remus. Hello Roman. 

High school: That’s it. I’m getting piercings, I’m getting a huge tattoo, I’m kissing snakes. Screw my parents. I don’t need to let anyone know anything about me. My opinion doesn’t matter anyways and everything about me is going to be bad no matter what so why bother So they fear us, Virgil? Good. Wait. Where are you going?

College: I’m moving out officially. Remus is in a different college. -Don’t miss him at all. I shall play along to society’s whims for now and get a degree and never use it. Got rid of the tracker under my car. I don’t think I’ll ever contact my parents again.

Adulthood: I think I’m doing rather well as a citizen. Remus is my new apartment mate oh god. But he is now a comic book artist and novel author so at least he has a job. Perks of working in a bookstore with Logan. That nerd’s one of Virgil’s new friends? And emo boy now works in the animal care center next to us? Whatever. I’ll leave them be unless I need some new snake feed. Things are peaceful now for me at least.

-Remus:

Toddler to child: I want my parents to look me in the eye and tell them they care more than just throwing fancy stuff into my arms dangit. Whatever I’ll just take it out on Roman and the kids in the playground.

Grade school: -If you can’t say anything nice don’t open your ugly mouth ever at all- So I’m disturbed? So my thoughts aren’t normal? Fine! Not like I can control what comes into my head! Let me bully Roman some more with my new buds Virgil and Dean! - freaking star child has everything I hate him so much what will it take for my parents to have their attention on me I’ve caused so much trouble in school why won’t they care-

High school: Roman what the hell happened?? I was planning your murder but now I’m not sure how to feel?? Damn you?? Uh?? We’ll move out?? And where the hell is Virgil going again?? Dean?? He’s leaving us? Alright. That’s it. That’s it - my grades and reputation are shit and my parents always assume the worst of me anyways so I’ll just sleep around with a bunch of guys every other week for quick cash and drag my family’s name through the mud and have fun because I don’t hate myself completely but my ideas are bad and I’m bad and- 

College: Fuck you mom and dad! Roman and I are moving out!! I’m gonna become a comic artist and write terrifying stories that’ll make Satan cry!! - Ugh Dean’s in another college dammit I miss him- Roman what is it this time someone get run over or something? What happened with that nerd Logan?  Is Virgil alright- What the fuck happened? - the star child is crying why are you crying why am I crying why do I feel like this I don’t care I shouldn’t care I hate you I hate me-

Adulthood: My ideas are selling! I’m a comic book artist and a novel author! Dean is my new apartment buddy! My brother is still some fancy theater geek but who cares! And the store Dean works at sells my books! And Virgil’s in the animal care center next door! I met his new friends officially and they’re boring lol. I really like where my life’s heading!

[ato-matsuri]

On Agartha

Been a while since I’ve written a long text post, most of all one about Fate. It honestly inspires a lot of rambling in me, after all. But I don’t think, this time, it’s due to its good writing, the emotions it makes me feel, or anything good. This, my friend, is about Agartha. I should probably prelude that this contains a metric shit ton of Agartha spoilers. If you haven’t seen Agartha, and you’re actually wanting to see the story -- scroll past. But, having played through Agartha completely and rested on the story for a bit, I think I want to repeat what everyone else has for ages lol.

Agartha, on paper, is incredible. A subterranean world built off fantastical story off fantastical story, made by a woman known for her ability to weave story after story, within stories, on the fly, and from a database of every possible Arabian Nights tale. Where the fear Scheherazade has due to Shahryar's endless abuse and fearmongering has stretched even to men as a whole due to literal years of having to survive Shahryar. Where the only leaders were queens, where the only rebellion force was a man so horrifically corrupt that he'd easily fall for the tricks she played. Her intent -- to reveal magecraft forever, removing any power magecraft has, saving her from ever having to fight and face kings -- and die -- ever again. That... sounds pretty good when I describe it that way, huh? Now if only it were executed with any modicum of sense.

From the beginning, Agartha's writing struck me as remarkably odd. It was like I was watching someone desperately try to emulate Nasu's writing style -- but had absolutely no idea what made Nasu's writing so good. Its exposition dumps, rather than being interesting, ended up being thoroughly boring -- as they focused on the mundane, like the fact that moss glows to light up the landscape -- instead of the magical implications of a world like Agartha even existing to begin with. Albeit, with the mystery of Agartha at that time, we can safely assume that there wasn't much to focus on, but then why spend so damned long talking about this stuff?

The worldbuilding, while passable, feels fairly flawed in execution. The idea of a world made the way Agartha was could've made for some interesting commentary about the way men treated (and still do treat) women in modern society, but Agartha not only misses the point, but tumbles head-over-ass into the uncanny valley and makes the whole thing sound like a continent-wide BDSM session. There's barely any actual subtle or well-done symbolism to showcase misogyny in this way -- and while hyperbole can serve a good point at times, the hyperbole combined with the strangely sexual writing of these segments makes it feel less like commentary and more like a badly-done doujin.

For example -- El Dorado was as simple as it gets. Men are slaves/breeding machines/whatever. The whole 'breeding machine' thing is played off extensively, even with Penth -- a minor at this stage, mind you -- comments on using the protagonists as such breeding machines. I'll come back to this later, because this serves as another point.

Ys was a fucking cool concept -- a world ruled entirely by rampant consumerism and chaos. Men, in this world, are still second-class citizens, pretty much the playthings of the women around them. I say that Ys is the best kingdom comparatively, as it was at least more bearable than its other kingdoms, but it still felt weirdly sexual in its writing tone. Of course, following tone, Dahut (who I'll get back to later) smashes men constantly, and is very keen on fucking Guda as well, following a trend. It's played for comedy, mostly, but it's still uncomfortable as all hell. Even so, I note it's more bearable because it's a very slightly more subtle take on the whole 'misogyny' allegory -- these people are using men for basically whatever they want, and tossing them away after. I'd compare it to a few true crime cases of people who murdered, or assaulted women for no good reason at all, purely out of a want that was either denied (for good reason), or that the want itself was to inflict harm. While the allegory still does feel unintentional here, it's at least slightly less unintentional. It was probably mostly just by accident due to Agartha's generally uncomfortable writing style, but the allegory here feels a little more potent when it's not so blatantly a BDSM fic.

I hate the Nightless City, despite it again being a cool concept. A 'utopia' where speaking out at all means death -- where men are in concept free citizens, but in practice fall victim to the law if they look at someone funny. Again, in concept, great allegory. The law does not treat men and women the same -- and while it differs depending on the case which is preferred, the vast majority of the time, women are pretty much shafted by the legal system (see Brock Turner), especially in very conservative areas. Cases can be made for both genders being shafted, of course -- but for the purpose of this allegory, picking out the prejudices of the legal system against gender is a fair critique. But, like everything else Agartha does, these neat ideas fall flat in practice.

They barely touch at all on the allegory, and nobody seems to even realize it in the cast, making me further believe the allegories aren't intentional at all. In due fact, it's as if the writer didn't even realize that this could be read as an allegory. The men's plights make some sense, as they were yoinked out of nowhere into a world that hates them. But the Servants and Guda don't think about it at all past the 'wow men are slaves that sucks' -- barely even considering that this could be an allegory the world's creator made due to their own horrific circumstances. They do point this out, but to my knowledge, it's very late -- when Scheherazade's called on her bluff, only then is it ever mentioned, and only in passing at that. If anything, the fact they point this out so close to the ending makes the ending itself that much more insulting. But before I get to the ending, I think there's something else about Agartha that sets the scene for just how awful it is -- and that's the way the characters are written, and the dialogue that comes of it. For this, I'll split it up into the characters who portray this the most. I'll even describe their personalities in Agartha's context.

Guda: Crouching pervert, hidden Mash stan. A few non-sequiturs of Guda complimenting Mash despite the mood being completely broken by it. Guda's incapable of taking a situation seriously in Agartha, even when the world's basically due to be changed forever. They keep cracking jokes, creeping on Astolfo/d'Eon, and other such things even when people are literally dying all around him. For that matter, I clearly recall the scene where -- for no real reason -- Guda just changes gears with Mash in tow, and starts trying to decipher d'Eon's gender. There's absolutely no real context to this, nor any reason for Guda to do this. Further noted is the fact Guda has worked with d'Eon before, and should've probably realized d'Eon's situation by this point. The Nasuverse has always been a bit, er, behind on gender norms and such, but it's so prevalent in any scene with d'Eon it hurts -- especially in that particular scene.

Astolfo: Oddly enough, the most tolerable person here (sans one other person). Agartha's refusal to take itself seriously works remarkably well for Astolfo. And while Astolfo isn't exactly written well here either, the fact that Astolfo's always been a bit loopy makes them seem, well, more in character. They're responsible for some of the funnier moments in Agartha, with their input composing approximately 3/4 of the, like, seven or eight funny moments in Agartha proper. Even so, Astolfo's appearance sometimes hurts Agartha as much as they help it, probably since Astolfo is a bit of the reason Agartha won't take itself seriously.

d'Eon: Deserved fucking better. The previously mentioned scene was the worst offender by far in my eyes, with it coming out of fucking nowhere. d'Eon's paired with Astolfo as a buddy and fighting partner, which itself could've made for good material -- instead, d'Eon is constantly dragged into Astolfo's fanservice-y gimmicks, and d'Eon themselves are pretty often creeped on by Guda. I'd go out on a limb to say that d'Eon's implied dislike of gendered clothing (see the maid outfit) made their scenes wearing such outfits far more uncomfortable, especially with how distinctly sexual the Agartha humour is. I just hated it.

Columbus: I can't fucking believe I'm saying this, but Columbus was the funniest character in Agartha. And I don't even think that was intentional. Something about how unabashedly horrible he was caught me completely off guard -- I thought he'd end up sort of like Napoleon at a glance, someone whose Spirit Origin was completely changed due to Europe's collective worship of the dude -- but holy FUCK was I wrong. Something about the hilariously cursed faces Columbus pulls, combined with his loud-and-proud irredeemable evilness, made him a blast to watch -- and an even bigger blast to beat the shit out of. His, uh, toothy grin still cracks me up even a few weeks after playing it.

Penthesilea: One of a very large amount of people who really deserved better. She barely ever shows up -- and when she does, she voices her desire to turn Guda and co. into a breeding machine/slave (recall she's like. 16?), and pretty much throws the whole 'reasonable-ish zerk' thing out the window instantly, because Agartha decided to forego decent writing in favour of 'funny berserker hates achilles haha brrrrrr,' therefore losing pretty much all the characterization they could've given her. The lack of 'alternate views' that show her in greater detail make this far worse, which I'll go into later.

Dahut: God, wasted potential out the asshole! A woman who made an entire world that fucked around and needlessly consumed stuff, she's the epitome of such a belief. But that's all she is. I'd be able to forgive this awful writing if Scheherazade, who 'implanted' Drake onto Dahut, was a bad writer -- but she's fucking Scheherazade! Dahut's a completely flat character, who constantly tries to bed (and kill) Guda, and generally likes the idea of needless consumption. That's literally it. Again, could be explained if Dahut had difficulty keeping control of Drake's body and conscience -- but this isn't explored either! She's just a walking, talking missed opportunity.

Wu: God, look at her design. Do I even need to say more?! She falls under the same problem that the other rulers do -- shallow characterization, no opportunities to flesh them out, etc.

Scheherazade: She could've been so fucking amazing. Scheherazade's story is one ripe with interpretations the Fate series so loves to utilize -- and on paper, her character is amazing. It'd only be natural for someone like Schez to be this deeply traumatized after so many days on death's door -- not many could really get through that okay. The incredible storyteller who fears death, kings, and unconsciously, men as a whole -- creating Agartha as a subtle way of ensuring none of them harm her while she prepares her ultimate plan of revealing magecraft to the entire world. However, as with the other Agartha characters, she becomes cripplingly one-note. Bringing her fear of death above all else, she comes off as an unreasonable asshole, constantly freaking out about death and preserving exclusively herself to a fault. While one could argue it's partially due to a Pillar's influence, Phenex doesn't seem to have a hold on her at all -- it's a basic alliance, and nothing more, as the ending shows us. It just leaves her as a one-note death avoider, with no other character traits at all. I'd go into further detail, but I'm saving that for later.

Fergus: God fucking damnit, man. A literal child version of Fergus, who the entire cast constantly expects to sexually harass every woman in sight. He's a one-note flanderization of Fergus, just without the one character trait Agartha gave Fergus. It just makes him... boring, a character whose only character trait is his refusal to hit a woman. Like... Come on. The fact the entire team is so sure this literal child will start trying to hit on women is just uncomfortable to witness, and the fact he slowly starts gaining these traits feels less like him 'meeting his fate' as Fergus, and more like Agartha wants an excuse to sexually harass more of the cast.

The Fucking Ending I'm giving this its own category, because of just how much of a punch to the face it was. In short -- the plan to reveal magecraft is revealed, more jokes are made, bla bla bla. Agartha can't keep a serious mood at all. ...But the final few scenes take it to a whole other extreme.

Wu Zetian comes out of nowhere despite being squashed by Megalos earlier, stuffing Phenex into a pit of her weird water shit, placing Phenex in a state of 'life and death.' Child Fergus then sac's his own Spirit Origin to summon Fergus inside himself(???), thus gaining the power of Caladbolg to weaken Phenex enough for the player to destroy. ...However, Child Fergus just summoned Fergus inside his own body. So, what happens when you put Agartha!Fergus, a one-note sexual harasser, into the body of a child? You get the final scene of Agartha. For some reason, I guess you need more help from others to take out Phenex. To this end, Fergus decides to convince Schez to join their side. I'd like you to recall that FGO!Scheherazade is implied to have the trauma of Shahryar's abuse, sexual and physical, burned into her memory -- not just the whole death thing. In every form of the story, Shahryar abuses her in such a fashion almost nightly. It's to the point where Schez' first line of defence, and much of her skills, are as much oriented around storytelling as they are charm and seduction (moreso the former than the latter, albeit), because her defence mechanism was that as much as it was storytelling, to keep her abuser happy. This is a part of why Agartha is the way it is -- to keep such men away from her. Hell, there's not a single King in sight, save technically Fergus, and Chaldea's d'Eon and Astolfo. Fergus knows this. Hell, he heard this being called out. He's well aware how terrified she is. So, what does he do?

SEXUALLY HARASS HER. He claims she has to live to have kids. That men and women have to live to have kids. He claims that she should live, because he'd smash her. ...Now, that's insulting enough -- moreso, that it's played dead serious. Nobody even as much as calls him on such a shitty persuasion tactic, and nobody even mentions how awful it is to sexually harass a woman who'd been sexually assaulted at best for the better part of almost three straight years. AND IT. FUCKING. WORKS.

SCHEHERAZADE. IS IMPLIED. TO BE INTO IT.

And because of this, she's swayed to join the heroes and seal Phenex away for good -- giggling about how Fergus' worldview was partially correct even as she fades away. The epilogue features Fergus, sexually harassing Scheherazade ON SIGHT -- calling out 'tits on my 12:00' or whatever, as Scheherazade darts off. However, Schez isn't avoiding him due to trauma. She's avoiding it because, while she's into it, she doesn't want to 'die' so fast. This fucking ending highlights among the biggest issues with this damned Singularity. Even Blavatsky coming out of fucking nowhere to Deus Ex Machina a grail and help into Guda's hands -- despite seemingly being slaughtered by Columbus in a (admittedly a bit funny) way to get the base of the Resistance -- means nothing to me compared to the blatant slaughter of two characters at once. Fergus is a total horndog even outside of Agartha's reach, but he even notes he respects his partners' consent, and doesn't overstep his bounds if he makes them uncomfortable. Scheherazade isn't exactly trusting in the slightest, least of all in Agartha - she barely even begins trusting Guda due to Guda treating her with actual respect. Even then, she isn't actively prostrating herself for Guda in that sense, very likely due to the fact that's more of a defence mechanism to her rather than something she'd enjoy, due to extreme trauma. Albeit, Fate writing does leave the possibility in the air for Guda specifically, but that's very likely just due to Guda being Guda and being careful to treat her properly and help her than anything else (and also the whole 'self insert harem' thing, I guess, but that's a hell of a lot easier to ignore esp in contrast to Agartha) And yet, we see that epilogue, that butchers both of them in one fell swoop so badly that I almost ended up hating both of them. Agartha's biggest problem is that it tried to be deep and intriguing, while having the writing quality of the goddamned Valentine's events. It picked all the right characters to have an incredibly intriguing storyline, and fell flat because the author decided that playing sexual harassment, d'Eon's everything, and even the most serious scenes for comedy was more important than telling a story even half as meaningful as the chapters before it. Lo and behold -- to my knowledge, Minase wrote it. Of course he did. He chose the best, the most interesting characters he could find, and made them so fucking one-note that the story lost all its charm in moments. He chose to emulate Nasu without understanding what made Nasu's writing so good. He chose to make Agartha a laugh fest despite simultaneously trying to make it 'deep.' He chose to fall head-over-ass over a possibly interesting allegory into misogyny and fall right into sexualizing it to the point of feeling like a femdom BDSM fic. And go figure the only character he did decently was Christopher fucking Columbus. I have a hatred for Agartha I can't reasonably place anywhere else. Prillya was just as shitty, but I ignored it, because Prillya itself wasn't great, so of course the crossover sucks too. Valentine's events written by him weren't great, but whatever, it's a Valentine's event. Septem, written by someone else, was similarly not great. But it wasn't insulting. It simply wasn't great, and had a lot of wasted potential. But its ending wasn't out of character to the point of being insulting. Its story didn't make incredible mythological and historical figures too infuriating to like anymore. It didn't almost ruin entire Fate characters for me. Not the way Agartha did. I should probably contextualize that Scheherazade is among my favourite mythological figures. I introduced myself to her through Magi (lmao) due to further research into the base stories -- as well as a favourite Magic: The Gathering card, Shahrazad, which forced you to play a game within your game, like how Arabian Nights featured stories within stories.

Even in Fate outside of Agartha, I liked her. Her design didn't make much sense to me considering her character, but whatever, I didn't need to think too hard of it. It's just a design, and despite my hatred of Penth's design, I still love Penth as a character, so I can handle Schez. But Agartha painted her in such a way that all the subtlety and interesting parts of Schez went completely out the window. No longer was there any hidden references to the aftereffects of her life beyond 'i dun wan die,' and there was hardly an ounce of sympathy or kindness in her bones at all. While her being an anti-hero made some sense, especially as she was only a normal person with far above-average storytelling prowess, there was a point when she stopped being a 'good, but terrified person' and started being a complete asshole. And Agartha was that time. If it weren't for her Interlude, which redeemed her considerably, and Ooku, which did wonders for her character despite being written by Minase (as I believe Nasu was overseeing him at that point), I very likely would've never gone for her at all, despite my love of the myth. In Conclusion This rant is just to say that Agartha is bad. Horrific. Insulting, even. At every step where it could've been good, it tumbled head-over-ass into the most insulting, uncomfortable shit you could imagine. It failed to take itself seriously, and paced itself like a comedy event, but simultaneously acted as if it expected its audience to take it seriously. Like a clown brigade deciding to take on Les Mis, it loses all of its punch when every few lines is interrupted by a jab at Fergus, sexual harassment, or something that comes close to being cool before suddenly turning into a badly-timed joke, or suddenly becoming laden with dialogue so sexual it feels straight out of a porno. It's aggravating, awful, and with only brief reprieves of bareable comedy in between long, long lengths of hellish text and awful characterization. The only good part was the gameplay -- which, laden with interesting mechanics not seen elsewhere, was legitimately fun. My take? Avoid all Agartha cutscenes and plot, and just play the gameplay. The gameplay's fun, and if enjoyed on its own, would probably make for a far better experience than observing the story surrounding it. But good gameplay doesn't make up for a horrible story, especially in a game where plot is as important as it is in F/GO. Agartha's a pile of shit in my eyes, but that's ultimately only my opinion, and nothing more. If others have an opinion counter to mine, that's completely fine -- and don't let this analysis ruin your fun with Agartha if you enjoyed its plot. To be frank, I'd be happy if you enjoyed it where I could not. And if you think my takes are misinformed, or if I missed a spot (or overreacted to a spot), that's what the reblogs and comments are for! I'm definitely not the kind of dude who has the final say in matters like this -- this is only what I picked up. Thank you for reading!

[malviralaarch]

No  rping,  just  neurodivergent  info  dumps.  This  is  from  a  response  I  made  explaining  my  thoughts  on  Wesker  &  motivations  he  has  +  why  that  I  am  sharing  publicly  as  I  think  its  very  important  to  my  blog  &  portrayal.  Going  WARN  upfront  that the  N*zi  party  is  mentioned.  Just  briefly  touching  on  something  Capcom  said.  I  also  want  to  make  it  very  clear  that  I  DO  NOT  support  Wesker’s  views,  I  don’t  think  its  cool  to  kill  a  vast  majority  of  the  population  because  things  suck  or  anything  like  that,  lmao   &  I  don’t  believe  in  the  eco-fascistic  ways  or  the  eco/bio  terrorism  he  employs  to  achieve  & enforce  his  goals  against  all  human  kind  ━  I  do  not  condone  it,  like  OBVIOUSLY,  however  I  don’t  believe  Wesker  believes  in  what  Spencer  did  in  the  exact  way  he  did  &  so  this  post  is  merely  an  explanation  of  Why  Wesker’s  Like  That  Deluxe  Edition. Do  not  take  this  post  as  excusing  his  actions,  sympathising  with  him  or  whatever,  its  only  an  explanation  for  WHY  &  a  reference  for  how  that  works  on  this  blog  /  my  portrayal. ONCE  AGAIN  please  continue  reading   with  caution  because  as  mentioned  this  post  may  briefly  touch  on  some  sensitive  stuff  &  also  touches  on  some  popular  discourse  within  the  fandom.

So,  anyway  Wesker's  Uroboros  bullshit  is  “interesting”  for  a  lack  of  a  better  term  in  the  sense  that  I'm  not  sure  he  was  doing  it  for  the  same  reason  someone  like  Spencer  was.  I  think  something  to  note  was  how  Spencer  was  just  ... Extremely  classist  & racist.  He  hated  most  people  because  he  viewed  them  as  inferior  to  himself,  due  to  being  raised  with  extreme  wealth  &  privilege.  He  had  access  to  education   & comfort  that  others  did  not,  especially  in  his  time,  but  instead  of  viewing  this  as  a  privilege  granted  to  him  by  money  he  decided  to  view  this  as  himself  being  inherently  superior  to  everyone  else  because  why  take  accountability  for  your  privilege  if  it  means  acknowledging  you’re  not  better  than  everyone  else,  you  just  have  money.  He  was  in  an  age  where  this  kind  of  backward,  hateful  thinking  was  the  norm. Because  racists  &  rich  people  have  been  like  that  always,  basically.  

In  a  similar  way  to  Excella,  he  thought  himself  to  be  superior  to  others  out  of  pure  arrogance  &  with  Spencer  particularly  some  very  uncomfortably  real  world  prejudice.  Capcom  tried  to  sort  of  “hide”  a  lot  for  the  sake  of  game  sales  but  initially,  people  like  Spencer  were  supposed  to  represent  real  life  backward  ass  eugenic  ideals.  Spencer’s  own  shit  draws  from  the  same  places  as  the  kind  of  shit  Hitl*r  & the  N*zi  party  were  on. It's  admittedly  a  direct  reference  according  to  Capcom;  the  nonsense  of  the  Ary*n  race  &   "the  superior  men”  is  all  there  particularly  emphasised  from  Spencer’s  ideals.  Capcom  have  said  this  is  what  they  were  going  for;  they’ve  even  gone  on  to  say  that  Albert  himself  looks  the  way  he  does  because  of  this  concept  of  the  “superior  man”  being  a  tall,  blond  hair,  blue  eyed,  pale  skinned  individual  that  Spencer  adhered  to.  Though  Capcom  did  dial  these  things  back  a  bit  references  & allegories  for  these  things  are  still  clear  within  the  canon.

So  yes.  This  is  exactly  what  Spencer  was  going  for.  Wesker’s  appearance  is  supposed  to  allude  to  what  Spencer  actually  represents  & what  his  intentions / goals  really  were.  So  while  Spencer  may  have  fully  planned  &  intended  for  Wesker  to  look  like  that  (& possibly  for  all  the  Wesker  children  to  look  like  that)  Wesker’s  looks  weren't  Capcom  condoning  Spencer’s  beliefs,  just  trying  to  clue  us  into  the  inspo  behind  his  bullshit.  This  is  also  shown  in  Alex  Wesker.  It's  not  a  coincidence  that  the  only  Wesker  children  we  know  of  &  get  to  see  are  two  tall,  white,  blond  people  with  blue  eyes.  Its  also  not  a  coincidence  that  the  “straight”  cis  man  was  the  apex  of  the  whole  fucked  up  project  via  capcom’s  attempt  to  clue  us  into  what  Spencer  represented.  You  can  find  implications  of  this  same  thing  in  characters  like  Alfred  &  Alexia  Ashford,  & again  it  is  not  a  coincidence  that  ALL  FOUR  of  these  characters  were  literally  created by  Umbrella  heads.  Alfred  &  Alexia  are  literal  test  tube  babies  &  Albert  &  Alex  were  the  fruits  of  some  supremely  fucked  up  selective  breeding  programme.

As  a  result  Umbrella,  Spencer  & anyone  associated  with  that  circle  fetishized  Wesker  to  an  extreme  because  of  what  he  represented  to  them--- but  another  thing  to  keep  in  mind  is  Wesker  isn’t  Spencer &  the  way  in  which  Spencer  actually  failed  is  that  he  didn’t  really  make  a  copy  of  himself  who,  despite  his  best  efforts,  believed  all  the  same  messed  up  shit  he  did, or  at  least  not  in  the  same  way.

This  is  how  I  personally  come  at  things  in  my  own  take  of  Wesker,  anyway,  so  though  it  is  almost  impossible  for  Wesker  to  not  share  some  of  Spencer’s  ideas  since  they  were  literally  programmed  into  him  from  birth  &  Wesker  didn’t  reject  Spencer’s  “New  world”  entirely,  he  tried  to  make  it  make  sense  BECAUSE,  IN  HIS  MIND,  stupid  shit  like  being  white  or  rich,  for  example,  does  not  make  you  superior  to  any  other  human  being.  Wesker  understands  that.  He  does  not  champion  for  genocide  toward  a  select  group  of  humans  because  of  some  shallow  prejudice.  Nor  did  he  intend  to  specifically,  personally  tailor  people  to  look,  think   &  act  any  certain  way  that  he  deemed  “superior.”  So  no,  Wesker   himself  does  not  hold  the  same  views  as  Spencer  in  the  racist,  classist,  messed  up  way,  per  se.

I  think  it's  interesting  how  he  talks  about  Alexia  in  his  report   &  his  own  anger  & annoyance  he  felt  toward  the  higher  ups  of  Umbrella  &   the  other  researchers  for  putting  her  on  a  pedestal  just  because  of  her  family  name  +  wealth.  She  hadn’t  done  jack  shit  for  Umbrella  to  be  applauded  the  way  she  was  (Unlike  William  Birkin)  but  the  researchers  couldn’t  get  over  her  because  she  was  from  a  well  known,  aristocratic  family  that  had  founded  the  company.  You  could  even  argue  from  things  in  Wesker’s  report  2  that  Wesker’s  disillusionment  with  Umbrella  &  his  ever  growing  contempt  for  it  & its  shit  started  as  far  back  as  his  time  in  the  training  school  which  is something  I  personally  believe,  particularly  due  to  his  friendship  with  William  Birkin,  who  is  implied  to  not  really  fit  the  “Umbrella  Mold”  outside  of  his  pure  genius  intellect.  Further,  Wesker  is  noted  as  one  of  the  few  among  the  Umbrella  staff  who  found  Spencer’s  desire  for  a  virus  to  infect  all  organic  matter  &  the  location  of  the  Akrley  lab  as  somewhere  that  could  rapidly  spread  infection  due  to  the  high  volume  of  organic  matter  the  virus  would  infect,  insane  &  dangerous.  

This  is  literally  where  Wesker’s  discomfort  &  suspicions  toward  Spencer  personally  began.  He  also  talks  in  his  little  note  about  Uroboros  being  beautiful  because  it  doesn’t  discriminate  based  on  shallow  human  prejudice. (  although  we  could  say  this  is  true  of  all  viruses,  which  is  a  thing  he  romanticizes  about  them  because  he  was  born  from  some  really  backwards  believes  that  he,  himself,  does  not  follow  &  as  a  biologist  he  finds  to  be  quite  stupid  & shallow.  But  do  keep  in  mind  RE  world  science  & real  world  science is  not  the  same. )

Which  we  see  with  Excella.  Excella  believed  she  was  worthy  because  she  was  beautiful,  rich  & powerful.  But  none  of  those  things  stopped  her  from  mutating  into  a  horrible  monster.  Urobous  wouldn’t  choose  people  based  on  how  pretty,  how  rich  they  were.     how  white, or  what  their  sexuality,  gender  or  religious  faith  was  ━  it  would  simply  choose  people  it  deemed  right  by  unique / random  genetic  make  up  &  this  could  be  anyone  of  any  gender,  any  faith,  any  sexuality,  any  race.  In  fact  it  is  noted  in  canon  that  the  only  other  humans  who  had  achieved  “god hood”  in  the  same  way  Wesker  had  were  black  Africans.  Thats  a  pretty  sexy  fuck  you  to  a  white  supremacist like  Spencer.

Which  is  the  major  difference  between  Wesker  & Spencer.  Wesker's  hatred  of  humanity  doesn’t  come  from  a  sense  of  twisted  privilege  &  prejudice,  &  its  not  directed  specifically  toward  select  individuals,  even  though  he  was  basically  born  from  this,  due  to  being  one  of  Spencer’s  designer  babies.  Wesker  didn’t  grow  up  to  believe  skin  colour  or  wealth  made  you  inherently  better  or  smarter.  He  doesn’t  think  there  are  people  in  the  world  that  are  superior  to  others  because  of  shallow  bias  such  as  those.  With  Wesker  It  comes  from  a  really  weird  sense  of  altruism  cobbled  together  with  extreme,  contradictory  pessimism  from  everything  he’s  experienced.  Again  not  to  excuse  him  or  say  he's  a  good  person  bc  ultimately  he’s  very  twisted,  selfish  & delusional  & hes  not  coming  back  from  that.  If  Wesker  ever  had  a  SLIM  chance  of  being  considered  even  “morally  ambiguous”  like  someone  like  Ada  it  was  lost  when  he  betrayed  S.T.A.R.S  &  lost  his  humanity.

However,  Wesker  has  seen  up  close  &  personal  the  absolute  horror  humans  are  capable  of  inflicting  on  themselves  &  others  & for  the  fucking  stupidest  reasons.  He  was  essentially  forced  to  participate  in  human  experimentation  as  a  child  (16-17)  to  the  ends  of  creating  horrific  B.O.W’s  that  would  presumably  be  used  by  the  world's  militaries  to  wipe  each  other  out.  In  the  name  of  human  pride,  greed &  prejudice.  He  believes  that  this  is  pretty  much  all  humans  have  really  done  for  hundreds  of  years.  Kill  each  other,  steal  from  each  other,  &  fuck  things  up  for  the  planet  itself  &  every  other  creature  that  lives  on  it.  He’s  come  to  view  humans  as  flawed,  dangerous  creatures  that  if  left  unchecked  will  destroy  the  world.  However  again,  he's  not  trying  to  cull  or  cultivate  any  certain  group  of  people  because  of  a  fucked  up,  racist  sense  of  aesthetic,  unlike  Spencer  &  I  cannot  stress   this  enough  because  this  is  where  the  fandom  fucks  up  for  me.

Furthermore !  Of  course,  Wesker  has  been  given  power  beyond  comprehension.  He  calls  himself  a  god  to  great  mockery  but  if  we’re  being  honest,  what  else  does  he  have  to  compare  himself  to ?  There  is  nothing  like  Wesker  out  there,  particularly  not   anything  known  about  at  height  of  his  activity  &  the  time  of  his  death.  Moreover,  I  should  mention   again  that  the  only  “beings”  like  Wesker  who  ever  existed  where  the  “evolved”  African  “god  Kings”  of  Ndipaya  mythology.   AGAIN  This  to  me  further  illustrates  the  fact  that  Wesker  himself  doesn’t  exactly  adhere  to  White  S*premist  ideals  & his  entire  existence  is  more  a  dunk  on  people  like  Spencer  who  did,  as  Wesker,  a  white  man  obtaining  this  status  through  the  Stairway  of  the  Sun,  was  so  far  an  anomaly.  Meanwhile  we’re  aware  it  wasn’t  undocumented  that  black  Africans  were  able  to  achieve  god  status  through  progenitor  infection  as  per  Ndipaya  mythos,  Wesker  is  the  only  white  person  who  did  “”naturally”,  despite  Spencer  having  lined  up  HUNDREDS  of  specially  bred  &  selected  candidates  who  carried  his  racist  ass  aesthetic.  

I  think  this  goes  to  show  Wesker’s  intentions  with  Uroborus   ( A  virus  engineered  directly  from  the  progenitor )  was  not  to  cleanse  the  world  of  any  select  race  or  races,  but  to  instead  wipe  out  the  vast  majority  &   leave  only  the  “Most  choice  humans”  ( his  quote )  to  evolve  & inherit  the  earth.  These  humans  would  not  just  be  white  or  share  his  “”personal  DNA”” ( idk  what  ppl  are  talking  about  when  they  say  Urobous  was  somehow  only  safe  for  Wesker’s  DNA .... Its literally  got  nothing  to  do  with  Wesker’s  DNA.  It  was  JILL’s  antibodies  from  her  infection  with  T  that  was  used  to  engineer  it,  but  its  not  connected  to  her  DNA  specifically  either.  Thats  not  how  viruses  work. )  Anyway,  Urobous  was  about  individuals,  not  races. But  I  digress,  Weskers  powers  are  truly  extraordinary. There's  no  way  anyone  gets  power  like  what  Wesker  got  &  doesn’t  crack  in  some  way.   If  anything  he  was  holding  it  together  pretty  well  until  his  confrontation  with  Spencer  &  his  discovery  of  the  Wesker  project  which  is  what  really  sent  him  “over  the  edge”  in  my  opinion.

None  the  less  Wesker  doesn’t  believe  he's  doing  something  evil.

"Every  day,  humans  come  one  step  closer  to  self-destruction.  I'm  not  destroying  the  world, I'm  saving  it!"  "War  and  pestilence  wherever  you  go!  Nothing  but  loathsome  humans!"

Some  of  the  stuff  he  says  in  re5  when  you  fight  him  shows  that  Wesker  thinks  he's  ultimately  doing  the  right  thing  here.  Again,  he's  given  an  insane  power,  him  alone,  of  course  he  feels  as  if  he  SHOULD  play  god  with  it  because  everything  up  till  now  has  shown  him  Humans  Are  A  Danger  To  Themselves  & Everything  Else,  plus  he  was  groomed  by  Spencer  &  umbrella  to  believe  in  things  like  Might  Makes  Right  &  Survival  Of  The  Fittest.  He  further  doesn’t  think  of  himself  as  god  as  a  ruler,  but  as  a  creator.

In  Wesker’s  head  he  was  chosen  to  be  the  Messiah,  he  is  the  hand  of  god  who  judges  the  corrupt  humans  &  sorts  the  good  from  the  bad  or  rather  “the  worthless  from  the  worthy”;  only  he  has  the  power  to  accomplish  this  &   this  is  how  he  makes  sense  of  that  power &  why  he  alone  has  it,  &  with  Uroborus  he  has  the  tool  to  strip  everything  back  to  its  basics  &  begin  anew;   "The  human  race  requires  judgment!"  “The  din  of  six  billion  screams  will  close  the  book  on  humanity's  ignoble  past.”  The  only  humans  that  would   be  left  alive  by  Uroborus  would  be  those  randoms  who  were  genetically  compatible  with  Uroborus  &  therefore  “better”  &  again  Uroborus  wouldn’t  discriminate  on  race,  gender,  sexuality,  class  or  faith  which  is  what  we’re  told  via  canon.

SO  yeah,  that  is  why  the  mass  human  extinction  event  lived  in  Wesker’s  head  &  why  he  went  that  way.  &  while  he's WRONG  in  his  intentions,  his  motivations  don’t  exactly  come  from  the  same  place  as  someone  like  Spencer's  apparently  did,  HOWEVER,  its  not  wrong  to  acknowledge  &  criticise  Wesker’s  character  as  a  type  of  allegory  for  white  s*premacy  even  if  the  character  himself  may  not  have  believed  in  this  in  that  particular  way  &  thats  not  literally  what  the  text  of  the  story  is  displaying.  Keeping  in  mind  Wesker  believed  the  human  race   as  a  whole  was  unworthy &  he  planned  to  allow  the  virus  to  choose  which  individuals  had  the  correct  genetic  makeup  to  ‘evolve’  leaving  the  humanity  he  grew  to  hate  behind.

My  biggest  criticism  for  the  RE  series  is  that  in  the  RE  universe  it  has  been  established  there  is  humans  who  are  “”superior””  to  others,  or  at  least  its  very  easy  to  view  it  this  way,  which  is  what  muddies  the  water  when  it  comes  to  discourse  about  this.  While  the  story  with  Wesker  serves  to  show  that  these  “superior”  humans  are  not  necessarily  “Ary*n”  & this  doesn’t  seem  to  have  been  Wesker’s  belief,  the  science  in  the  resident  evil  world  is  not  real  &  doesn’t  reflect  real  biology. HOWEVER,  that  also  being  said  the  RE  universe  has  already  demonstrated  with  Wesker  &  other  characters  who  were  able  to  “”evolve””  beyond  humanity,  that  having  genes  compatible  with  the  virus  or  parasite  or  what  have  you  was  pure  luck  &  isn’t  all  its  cracked  up  to  be.  There  is  almost  no  B.O.W  characters,  for  all  their  gifted  “”biological  superiority””  who  survive  to  live  normal  lives. Their  minds  &  bodies  are  eventually  destroyed  by  the  virus/parasite/whatever.  Even  though  Wesker  was  the  closest  thing  the  RE  series  ever  had  to  reaching  “”god hood””  aside  from  Mother  Marinda,  who  was  infected  with  a  whole  different  thing,  the  virus  was  STILL  destroying  him.  I  intended  to  write  a  post  about  why  I  believed  this  was  the  case ,  outside  of  y’know,  the  innate  horror  in  ones  body  being  hijacked  &  co-opted  by  an  invading  force  even  if  that  force  just  happened  to  give  you  neat  super  powers  for  a  short  time,  I  just  haven't  got  to  it  just  yet. ( Update:  I  finally  did  it,  here  it  is )

Wesker  is  an  unhinged  bioterrorist  & shameless  misanthrope  to  an  extreme,  but  NO   he’s  actually  not  a  white  s*premacist,  racist,  or  neo  n*zi   in  my  opinion  or  portrayal  BUT  yeah  he  is  a delusional  misanthrope,  he  is  NOT  a  good  person,  &  its  perfectly  fine  for  people  to  point  out  HIS  CREATION  BY  SPENCER  alludes  to  white  s*premacist  ideals  because  it  truly  does.  Its  not  wrong  for  people  to  be  uncomfortable  with  this  either,  imo.

He  was  designed   &  groomed  by  someone  who  had  an  underlying  racist  aesthetic  &  vision.  While  Wesker  seemed  to  not  believe  in  this  vision  in  quite  the  same  way  I  think  it  makes  sense,  from  his  POV,  why  he  tried  to  co-opt  the  idea  of  lower  humans  & better  humans,  into  “wicked  primitive  humans”  vs  an  enlightened,  evolved  race  of  godlike  beings  who  would  rise  from  humanities  ignorant  &  evil  ashes  to  claim  the  earth  &  make  it  a  better  place.  I  also  have  to  say  that  while  Wesker  seems  to  have  good  intentions,  or  at  the  very  least  he  likes  to  think  he  does,  the  reality  is  he’s  very  selfish  so  I’m  not saying  this  isn’t  insane,  out  of  touch  &  delusional,  can’t  stress  this  enough  bc  another  thing  I  have  written  about  &  touched  on  briefly  is the  fact  he  basically  never  saw  the  good  in  humanity  &  was  instead  lead  to  view  humans  in  a  very  negative  light.  Even  when  he  was  human,  Wesker  was  deprived  of  much  of  the  ability  to  actually  associate  with,  relate  to,  &  really  BE  a  human.  By  the  time  Wesker  was  free  of  Umbrella,  the  damage  had  already  been  done  &  there  are  VAROUS  events  through  canon  that  solidified   Wesker’s  views  on  humanity  as  opposed  to  allowing  him  to  see  more  than  what  he  had  experienced  &  beyond  the  insidious  idea  that  had  been  implanted  in  him  during  his  time  with  Umbrella   that  there  is  no  such  thing  as  “good”  people.  

SO  that  being  said  I  will  never  be  sympathising  for  him  or  trying  to  portray  him  as  someone  who  is  “”worthy””  of  “”redemption””,  & I  do  not  hope  to  portray  him  as  someone  good.

I  study  why  he  is  what  he  is,  why  he  thinks  what  he  thinks,  how  its  wrong   &  maybe  “tragically”  misinformed  &  thats  kinda  the  purpose  of  this  portrayal  of  him.  Like  I’m  not  gonna  police  people  if  Albert  Wesker  is  their  blorbo  or  whatever  but  don’t  think  I  don’t  know  exactly  what  Wesker  is.

I  know  the  games.  I  know  the  canon.  I  understand  the  allegories,  etc.  Its  fine  if  you  take  away  anything  different  or  feel  uncomfortable  with  this  character  but  I’m  not  in  support  of,  excusing,  or  trying  to  support  anything  heinous  or  malicious.  I’m  just  an  rper  &  RE  is  one  of  my  hyper-fixations  &  I  am  playing  Wesker  because  he  was  a  huge  part  of  the  series  &  I  am  good  at  playing  shitty  evil  little  men.

[28dayslater]

okay so basically my question is, is uni as fun as it looks?

i'm 23 and never went, i couldn't even finish college bc of mental health and then i never knew what i wanted in life so thought it didn't matter that i didn't go right away and i kept meaning to like figure it out but then i fell into a job i really like and have been here for a few years now and am content enough. no one in my family went to uni so it was never expected of me so when i didn't go there were no consequences y'know.

but social media is full of people in/who just graduated uni and it looks so fun that i feel like i've missed out. people posting videos in their new accomodation and with their flatmates and becoming best friends and staying up all night, going out doing random things and just having fun and being young with no expectations, and i feel like i've never experienced anything in my life.

like i did some of it, i moved out but there's no parties, no events or societies or getting off with strangers. and i hate to admit it but i still only have a single friend, not the friend group i always wanted. i've been on nights out a few times but it's always different because i know i have to go to work tomorrow, it's never the carefree "i don't know where i'll wake up and that's fine just living in the moment" type of experience. everything is different as an adult i guess. i'm tired by 8pm and going out until 10 is late for me.

and like i know myself i know i would not do well in uni due to my mental health and i would have dropped out or failed, and honestly i do not want to study i do not do well in education. i like finishing work and not having to worry about homework or whatever, but i really wish i could have experienced the social side of uni. i don't know if i'd have even enjoyed it, and it might have gotten old real quick, but i wish i could have at least tried it. and especially when everyone i work with met their partners and friends at uni, and i'm here doing everything i want to do just on my own because my singular friend doesn't share most of my interests.

but i also know people often exaggerate things on social media, and that lots of people don't share their experiences so i'm not sure whether uni is as fun as it always seems or whether it's just select people only sharing their few good experiences. idk i'm just kind of feeling like my entire life has just passed me by or something idk.

sorry for the dump omg i did not mean to say all that i was just gonna ask the question but lost the plot a bit 😭

i think the thing with uni is that like most things it is what you make of it. its a wonderful opportunity to hang out with people your own age, party and ignore your lectures and make stupid decisions bc youre on your own for the first time, and theres no other situation where youre gonna be so free to do what you want, but even when youre there that opportunitys only there if you take it. i went uni for three years, spent half of it violently depressed and not getting out of bed or doing any work, fucked up my actual degree and left with precisely one friend that im still in contact with. so even if youre in the position to be having the time of your life its very easy to waste it and end up having had no fun at all.

it sounds like you wouldnt have enjoyed the actual studying and what you're envious of is purely the social side. and tbf the social part of it does get old quickly, i spent my entire third year living with my best friend just watching crap tv every night instead of ever leaving the house or seeing anyone else. but also, theres no reason you cant create that social life for yourself! all the parties and that i went to at uni were just club nights in town or occasionally at the student union, you dont have to be invited or know anyone before you go.

and as miserable as it is to do and as trite as it sounds, you can make friends even when you're not forced together by school or uni or student accomodation. coworkers, friends of friends, roommates, online mutuals who don't live hundreds of miles away, you can ask those people to hang out and see where you can get from there. and as much as it sickens me to say bc i sound like my mum, theres always societies and events and stuff you can join if you go looking. most my adult friendships have only stayed in my life bc ive put effort into them and made a point of seeing those people and actively making plans. fucking sucks shit but thats the nature of being an adult, when youre not forced together by circumstance every day you have to cling to every friendship youve got and dig your claws in hard

but i hope you do okay! and i think you will