#i always say 'rp is just a hobby' which it is but the people behind the screen?

[cwarscars-a]

(( i’ve seen a lot of people lately on my dash going through rough times - i don’t entirely know the extent of each one, how you’re feeling or dealing with the situation. i haven’t reached out because of a combination of being ill lately (i’m feeling better now) and the grief still being pretty raw but,

 i want you to know that my askbox / ims / discord ( hanʕ ᵒ ᴥ ᵒʔ#3428 ) is always available should you need to chat. whether it’s screaming into the void, throwing a bunch of thoughts together, venting or just being distracted - you are absolutely and entirely welcome to come and talk to me. i will lend you an ear, i will try and offer advice (if wanted), i will lend you my virtual shoulder. 

lately, i know how it’s felt to grieve & i’ve come to realise that it’s a unique sort of sadness (different to depression but also...really similar) - i know it can feel like you look at your friends, family, online buddies, everyone & you might think ‘i don’t know /who/ i can speak to’ - well, as said, this is my post offering you that outlet. even if you want to write me an anonymous message unloading your thoughts, you can. i wont post or reply to it, i’ll save it or delete it if you want me to. just, i want you all to know that there’s a place here for you.

and for the peeps who aren’t going through anything right now, who are having the times of their lives or are getting good news. good. don’t feel guilty posting or gushing about it. don’t feel you can’t celebrate your accomplishments or good times because others aren’t doing too hot. it’s alright, we understand. we’re your mates or partners and all we want is for each to be content and be happy. 

so yeah, just keep it in mind. i might suck at replying to memes, general messages & plotting but if somebody needs to talk / vent / be upset / happy or anything else, i will absolutely listen to you & do my best to be there for you.

i’m sorry from the bottom of my heart that so many of my mutuals are suffering lately. my thoughts are absolutely with you all. ))

[bloodxhound]

What is your writing process? Do you go in one fell swoop? Do you leave and come back? Do you use a thesaurus? Do you re-read and swap out words? Do you try to match/beat your partner's length? Do you care about length at all? Do you look for fancier words? Do you get straight to the point? As artists, we only ever see your finished product. How do you craft your work?

My writing process tends to be messy. I finish smaller and banter-like replies in one go, but longer, plot-driven replies more often than not aren’t immediately completed. Usually, when I’m struggling with one reply in particular, I will write down whatever comes to my mind in a very messy and uncoordinated fashion ( dialogue first without actions, incomplete sentences, German words / phrases as placeholders for their English equivalents I couldn’t think of / remember at the time, etc. ), then come back to it later to re-write the mess into a cohesive whole. Blank page anxiety definitely used to be a thing for me. Sometimes it still is. This kind of process has helped me to overcome it for the most part though, since I don’t need to fret about meeting my self-standards anymore from the get-go. I just write junk and fix it later. RP is a hobby of course, but I do want my replies to read nicely. 

As for reply length, I do try to match comparatively ( i.e. I won’t throw a whole novella at someone who’s written me one paragraph and vice versa ), but I don’t “fluff up” replies for the sake of length, nor do I cut them shorter. I write however much I’m inspired to, and if that’s a little more or a little less than my partner’s response, that’s okay for me. It’s the content that matters anyway. When I cared more about matching length, it definitely fed into my blank page anxiety. It’s kind of daunting to sit down and attempt to respond to a long plot reply if you’ve set out to match even though you don’t feel like you have as much to say, you know? So, I’m not doing that anymore.

I don’t ever look for fancier words; fancier doesn’t automatically mean better. In many cases, a fancier word will lead to a worse result overall ( side-eyeing people who write “orbs” in lieu of eyes, for example ). Instead, I care about using words which evoke the right feeling, which aid with characterization, or which sustain one of my character’s motifs. There's a lot of power behind simple, short words, too. I will use a thesaurus if I cannot come up with a word that quite carries the meaning / connotation I want it to. This is especially the case in the rare moments when I have to translate a word from German into English. You cannot trust online dictionaries; a lot of times they offer you translations that only work on a surface level, so it's always best to look up a few alternatives as well.

[ohchosen]

AUTHOR PORTRAIT ... get to know the author behind the blog! repost, don't reblog !

BASICS

NAME:        val AGE:         24 PRONOUNS:         she / they YEARS OF WRITING:          ok how specific are we talking. because i can say like circa 2010 i was on facebook writing bad twilight fanfiction + rp ( which then progressed into bad thg fanfiction ) or i can say elementary school and my little short stories i was always ad - libbing. regardless, it's definitely something i've had a knack for my whole life and it was literally just a matter of time before i found out about rp. and yes before you ask it was my personal facebook. when i was 11. that had all of my relatives added. yes they saw it. years writing on tumblr is different and i think i jumped ship and found out about tumblr rp around 2012 / 2013 and with that came my first formative decision which was to watch supernatural. you know where this is going. yes it was bad. no i'm not showing anyone.

REFLECTION

WHY DID YOU PICK UP WRITING?           i needed a hobby and had unrestricted internet access. i kind of answered this in the question before so jokes on me blah blah blah but without getting too personal i had a very difficult time in school with mental health and tumblr, known weird kid haven, was my little safe space where i could freely pursue what i enjoyed and was really my first venture into fandom spaces. i started in the supernatural rpc [ horror music ] and slowly meandered my way through book fandoms, to animanga, and finally settled on the video game community where i've been good and SAT for like six years now.

DO YOU HAVE ANY WRITING ROUTINES?          not necessarily. it's a miracle if i'm able to sit down long enough to open up my drafts and get going, but if i can lock in i'm all set. i find it hard to listen to music while writing because my brain cannot separate the two and i will accidentally start writing down the lyrics but i've never actually considered tuning into instrumentals so ,, thank you vos. writing that down............

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PART ABOUT WRITING?         stealing from vos in stealing answer solidarity but the rp community aspect. it can be awful and exhausting as some of us know good and well but it can also be incredible depending on who you surround yourself with. it's so validating finding people who share your little niche interest or even niche - er pairing ( hi vos ) and then to just completely devolve into sending memes and posts and screaming until 2 am in dms. i've met so many of my closest friends through rp, and stealing vos' answer again, but the characters i write who turn out the most developed are those who have been shared with friends. noctis would be nowhere near as fleshed out as he is if not for the people i met in the ff fandom all those years ago.

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOUR WRITING.         oughhghh, um. i'm bad at taking compliments and even worse at complimenting myself so bare with me.

i've definitely grown a lot in terms of style and prose, and i'm actually pretty happy with what i'm able to spit out in terms of aesthetic styling as compared to even a few years ago. one of my biggest insecurities ( that still pops up here and again mind you ) was never being able to match length, and i was in the worst writers' block for a few years that i finally managed to escape out of around 2020 and now i can confidently say i'm writing more regularly than i ever have. so to answer the question: it has been my personal growth in my writing and it turning into something i can be confident in and proud of.

i really do enjoy the mundanity of editing my replies. i love to see the progress i make edit by edit and how cohesive and put together a piece of writing becomes the longer i work on it. i fully 100% devote myself to one reply at a time, which is a nightmare for quantity but sooooooo rewarding if it means i can put something out to the best of my ability and not stress myself out worrying about whatever else i owe. i am a self appointed slowpoke, and i've learned over the years to not let myself feel guilty about that because as long as it can become something i devote time on and put effort into, then it really shouldn't bother me how long it takes.

three things is too much to ask for lets all just walk away slowly.

A QUESTION FOR THE NEXT PERSON

HAVE  YOU  MADE  ANY  STRONG  CONNECTIONS  /  FRIENDS DURING YOUR TIME WRITING?          i'm pretty sure this question was intended for vos only but its way too late now and i've already written your accolades so you have to deal with it. this post is just going to be exceptionally long now.

vos @stagehunt my right hand man who has been with me for every gacha related poor financial decision. everything you said i'm literally sending right back to you. i knew no one in that fandom and was in way out of my depth before stumbling across you and your blog. i am so thankful we crossed paths and shoved our little barbie dolls together and said kiss because developing, and i mean really developing tomo would not have happened without your input. at this point you definitely deserve writing credits on him too because the way he turned out would be nowhere near the same if not for your influence. i've had a blast experiencing genshin's story with you and knowing without fail you'll be thinking the exact same thing whenever hyv fumbles the bag again, and yes. one day i GUESS i'll play more than 7 hours of hsr. luv u xoxo.

plum, @sherez, my love, my heart. it's crazy how fast the years have flown by and now all of a sudden i've known you since 2018??? i still remember seeing you from afar on ez and always being blown away by how much love and devotion you put into your characters. we are quite literally bonded for life after surviving the [ redacted ] rpc and i can't think of anyone better to come out beside than you. you can't get rid of me bitch!!!!!!!!! the amount of effort and care i've seen you throw into v, and how far she's come in terms of development blows me away. she is easily one of the best written characters i've ever had the pleasure of reading and i am so excited to keep following her growth. besides how freakishly talented you are, it's astonishing how much we have in common. bc who tf else would i be talking to about forgotten mcr lore in the year of our lord 2024. if no one got me, i know plum got me. booket....... booket for my sweety.......

lu @tactition its crazy how in the short little time we've spent together how much i've bonded with u. if i got down on one knee and pulled out a ring would u say yes.... my yaoi soulmate........ its INSANE how well our character Types (tm) mesh together, and i know karma is coming with its kiss for me when i finally download nier and have to atone for what i put u thru when i made you play final fantasy. please be gentle with me im delicate........... real talk tho.. you have so quickly become such an important person in my daily life and i literally feel myself go !!!! whenever i see a new dm from you because i know its always gonna be good. your character takes blow me away and even for myself who's nearly 7 years deep into the final fantasy scene, it amazes me how you still manage to shed light and new perspective on characters i've known for years. let’s kiss freaky style.

i've very much condensed my little bubble into people i actually want to surround myself with atp, and there's always a handful of mutuals on every blog that i don't necessarily talk to but who have been with me for years now so. sorry you can't leave or i'll become a danger to myself and others. kisses :*

WHERE DO YOU DRAW THE MOST INSPIRATION FROM? this is definitely a muse - specific question since it varies from character to character. with noctis specifically, it's mostly music. i have a few different playlists for him after writing him for so long, and while i can't listen while i write they all offer different types of mood setting for him. other times, its media involving fantasy tropes or characters that have similar struggles to him, off the top of my head ( and something i connected early on ) is the character u.enoyama r.itsuka from given. there's a lot i could say here regarding which aspects i took inspiration from but the majority was the similar personality he has to noctis, the internal thought process he offered when i read the manga, and the way he struggled with his sexuality that struck the loudest chord. don't quote me on any of that since i haven't been caught up with given for like 5 years now but !!!!! yeah the end.

NEW QUESTION: how do you relate to your character personally? are there any overt similarities to the two of you?

tagged by @stagehunt my lover..... tagging - @lunabrae @tactition @sherez

[barbierpt]

ngl seeing people complain about differing levels of admin professionalism makes me want to gouge my own eyes out. just to be clear, adminning is hard. it takes a lot of work and a lot of real world skills. i've gotten very real jobs exclusively from resume experience that was a job-ese way of talking about experience on tumblr. but at the same time, people in this community will really blame admins and rphs for absolutely everything. if there is anything wrong with the group, automatically the fault of the admins. hands down. they didn't know? well, you're supposed to be omniscient and omnipresent because it's your group so it's your responsibility. but then the minute the admin says the same thing these anons do -- it's not a real job, whatever -- within 48 hours, the rp closes because of the sheer amount of hate being thrown at them by shitstirrers and rubberneckers. like, can we honestly pick a lane with this?? because at this point i really do think anyone who thinks admins are being "overly serious" are probably just being purposefully ignorant to the way admins are treated here, or in protest of it. but you can't ignore that admins get literally doxxed for being kind of rude to one member one time.

there's so much truth behind this it's absolutely insane that this is what it seems like the rpc has come to.

like you anon, i can so relate to translating some of my experiences between adminning a tumblr rp and working a managerial position job. being an admin absolutely takes a lot of work in building and updating the main page, developing a plot, promoting the group, reviewing applications, creating graphics for bio and other posts, coming up with and running events and plot drops that move the story forward, and managing the members within it –– all while keeping up with their own characters and activity on the dash. so yeah, in a sense, it is kind of a job but it should be a fun one, in my opinion. more often than not, i've always looked forward to logging onto tumblr and performing my admin duties in my group unless there was, like, a shit storm of drama going on because who honestly enjoys conflict, y'know?? still part of the admin job to handle it which i've learned better ways of managing from both my job and this awesome instagram account that gives some great advice.

i've been here running rps since 2013 and i remember things being so much different back then. it was a community where when admins opened a group they didn't have to clench their buttcheeks and hold their breath praying when they opened the inbox or dms to that one notification that it wasn't anon hate saying they'd been publicly outed for fucking something up like allowing a certain fc they shouldn't have or rightfully kicking out a player from their group. like, this should be fun for everyone including the admins –– they shouldn't have to be stressed out and watching their back for a scorned ex-member (usually unavoidable but typically harmless in most cases) or a fair few of rpc to come running at them.

i really do feel like over the years the rpc has focused more on policing and public callouts than minding their business and communicating privately. like, this is a public space and it's impossible to have that catered to an individual's tastes. this is meant to be a hobby where we all gather around for some interactive creative writing. it's fiction. and yeah, fiction often takes inspiration from real life, both good and bad things, which is important for all writers to recognize and acknowledge the difference when it comes to writing both plots and characters in the latter category. i frankly don't see an issue with there being some variety in plots and rp genres because otherwise i fear that at the rate the rpc is going all we might end up with is a dozen small town slice-of-life rps once everything else has been canceled. if there's an rp out there that you don't agree with or like or find personally harmful, there's no obligation to join it. in fact, i highly recommend utilizing the block button to improve your tumblr rp experience.

look, that's also not me saying that it's acceptable for admins or rps to be purposefully racist, transphobic, homophobic, sexist, or harmful in other ways. rping should be a fun and enjoyable experience and there are certain subjects that are more personally triggering than others and there are certain genres/plots where those topics may be more present. and it's really unfair to expect admins and other figures to know everything that they're unfamiliar with. it's also unfair to attack them publicly for genuinely not knowing. in those cases, i see two options a mature human being can take: they can block it and forget it OR they can privately approach the admins off anon and politely educate them on the issue. public callouts on what i believe are minor issues of unawareness do nothing but spread negativity and hate where i think kindness and compassion can do the job better. this is my observation, but it feels like the rpc has come to rely on immediately taking things public and utilizing the anon feature. and even then when there's an apology and acknowledgment of wrongdoing and promise to do better, there are still people who can't stop talking about the situation that's done and over with.

it's really important to remember that admins and all these voices in the rpc and rpt tags are human beings too on the other side of the screen and i'm sure we all appreciate being treated as such. it's super disheartening seeing so much negativity about what everyone's doing wrong and not enough support for what someone is doing right.

and by the way, there are absolutely some truly problematic individuals and groups out there that are doing those things on purpose that i feel should be called out with proper evidence to inform others. most of the cases i've seen lately in the rpc the last few months i did not think were worthy of being shit on or called out as hard or as long as they were.

i think i've rambled enough but yeah i don't think it's an ignorance, anon, i think most people in the rpc are very much aware and choose to ignore the fact that we're all human and none of us are perfect. it's a choice to be kind, mature, and empathetic or to be negative and hating everyone and everything. no one on this site should have to live in fear of making a mistake and having it haunt them forever when all they were looking to do was have fun in a hobby they love.

[2bu]

least favorite things about roleplaying communities, in your opinion?

Throwing under the cut because oops I began to rant

I'm sure I've answered this before, but I really do loathe snobs and bullies, especially when they've formed a clique.

This has always been a thing since roleplaying was invented, I'm sure, but it doesn't change how I feel about those kinds of pretentious writers who form a circle around themselves and parade around as self-important, spread malicious gossip or rumours/lies, judge others and either perpetuate drama or get looped into it over petty, trivial reasons. Or, like, it's their only hobby that they take way too seriously and make it miserable for everyone else. I get having boundaries, opinions, and even rules for interactions, of course, sure.

That's fine. I just don't like putting down others and I'm ashamed that sometimes, in order to try and fit in, I'd participate in such behaviour over the course of my years online in roleplaying communities (which literally, as previously mentioned, spans well over a decade). Like, I truly hate what those spaces have done to me and normalized for me! Looking back on it now, I'm genuinely upset that I, a victim of bullying, would have participated in smack talk or gossip about someone I don't even know over really, really REALLY dumb/petty stuff! This was more so back when I was a teenager, but even still, as an adult, I know I'm guilty of having done that and I'm just... not proud of that. No one should be, and I'm definitely working to not only change that but to stop participating in toxic environments that allow these things to take place be it publicly or behind the scenes.

I suppose, of course, it goes without saying that this isn't the biggest issue, no - racism, sexism, ableism, homophobia and transphobia and a lot of real-world stuff is still an issue, and I especially avoid roleplaying communities entirely because of biases writers still very much have against writers of colour such as myself, who refuses to bend and appease anyone else but myself.

I also don't fuck with like, communities that are lead by people who clearly are not handling like, mod positions well or are just not experienced with balancing moderator responsibilities, a story/plot, worlds, assests, guides, etc. I'm not going to join your RP if there's absolutely nothing to show for it, and you're just waiting for people to join. I get that sometimes, these things won't be prepped until people join, but IDK, I'd rather not hold out for something that may never come to fruition, if that makes sense! Even for sandbox RPs and whatnot, I prefer there just be some level of... polish there, if that makes sense? That's just a personal preference, and has saved me tons of heartbreak and frustration in the past.

I think lastly, I'm also not a fan of incompetent mods. Some people are not meant to be moderators, and work best as like, DMs, or vice versa! Being both is great, and kudos to whoever can handle that, but it's rare I've personally found any people who can achieve both. Some mods are too lax on the rules for the sake of personal interests or just don't give a fuck about making the experiences fun and safe for others regardless of age, others are WAY too strict and sometimes cruel towards their members over trivial reasons and rules a reasonable person can't REALLY follow because it makes no sense, is hypocritical, or contradictory, or worse, unclear to begin with. There's no point in joining a community where I don't feel safe or feel like the rules harm me or others more than protect us. Rules vary of course, from community to community, yes - especially once you determine the target age groups you're trying to rope in, but even still, some rules just... aren't it for some of these places, and it bothers me even a whole decade later how some shit flies in certain places, and who gets away with shit.

I lied, this last bit also plays into what I've overall said and definitely said at the beginning, but favoritism. Loathe that shit, especially when it comes to mods allowing just any fucking bitchass nigga get away with breaking rules constantly, fucking around with members, their characters and plots, etc. I have no respect for bitchass mods who are more interested in upkeeping their high school bully cliques than fostering the welcoming environments for everyone involved, even people who they may not like/who plays characters they may not like/whose artists/writers they may not like/prefer. And honestly, maybe close off applications/interactions to people you aren't mutuals, friends with, or people you don't like to avoid taking responsibility like that? This was a big problem in the Mystery Skulls Animated fanbase and by fucking God, was I not there for it nearly a decade ago and I'm certainly not for it now.

Anyways, thanks for coming to my ted talk LOL

[zorkaya-moved]

Do you regret starting writing? // How do you describe writing / rp to others? // Who is your favorite OC and canon muse? // What’s something you find weird on here? [ mun meme ]

@notsumi

Do you regret starting writing?

Absolutely not. Writing has been my passion and my salvation for years and years. Thanks to it, I’ve met so many of my friends and why I’ve gotten so into like all of my hobbies. I find writing relaxing, fun, something genuinely important to me. Especially now that I try to get out of my traumatized shell with RPC making me believe that strong op women are the worst and they’re are Mary Sues ahaha. It’s a hard process but Zarina made me have a lot more fun in writing compared to how I was before, and I also write Elysia on another blog which is a completely different muse to this one.

How do you describe writing / rp to others?

I describe it as taking characters from each series and just writing as then. Nothing too complicated. Either creating your own world and your own characters to explore our universes or playing a character from a specific fandom. I say that it’s a lot of fun because I get to talk to and meeting quite a lot of awesome and amazing people!

Who is your favorite OC and canon muse?

Well, OC is Zarina, hands down. She’s my pride and joy. I’ve never had the chance to explore a personally created lore and create something from nothing. I think she’s an extremely complicated character and I’m trying my best to showcase this complexity through ramblings, threads, asks, etc. Zarina gave me more confidence and laid-back attitude in terms of writing, but it’s still a massive work in progress for me.

Canon muse… I would say Tamamo no Mae from Fate Extra remains my favorite. I adore her to this day and I miss her dearly as a muse. She’s been my biggest muse for years and I’ve seen so much on her and through her before. Let’s be real, fate fandom can be a toxic plague and I developed a fully personally created background for Tamamo myself which became partially true when the Lostbelts came out. Tamamo walked so Zarina could run, honestly.

I always come back to Neutral Evil muses who pretend to be cute or just pretty while having enormous power behind them. I love their freedom, their selfishness, their complexity, their uniqueness. I also just love the fact that there both hot ladies and they know it. I adore that.

What’s something you find weird on here?

Uh. The constant expectation to explain your mental health when it’s your personal info and you don’t have to do that but somehow tumblr makes you do that even if you have all the rights to not share what’s going on in your life? The fact that you are kind of pressured/expected to give so much information about yourself to the wide public when it’s none of others’ business? Like I’m guilty of doing that as well, I tell about my depression and adhd and anxiety, but the fact that many of us have to write it down in our pinned posts for people to see? Idk. Sounds sketchy a bit. Our mental health is our own and no one should be required to have it on their pinned post. It’s something you can say to your new followers or just mention once in a while. I just feel like some people don’t want to share all of their struggles but tumblr style forced them to. If they want to, it’s all good! But I feel like there are moments when someone doesn’t want to but has peer pressure put on them.

[miqojak]

Can you explain more about your “do not reblog” rule? /gen

Do you not want reblogs of anything ever or just certain things? I try to check tags but tbh I’m still not really clear on the why so I do t know if I’m doing this right.

Hey, thanks for asking!

What it really boils down to is that it is incredibly hurtful when you've spent years looking to make contact in an RP community, and no one will reach out for RP, or show genuine interest in your OC... but complete strangers in the RP community will come by to take your OC aesthetic for their OC, and never interact otherwise, which is ultimately just using another person for your own gain.

If you like a character's aesthetic, and it's similar to your own OC's... why not go ahead and interact? (Send asks, or comment on posts or reblog writing or gposes with tags about how much you like the character, or whatever! ) Wouldn't that be a good first sign that your characters might get along, or have similar interests of some kind? It's a social hobby, after all, so you gotta talk to strangers eventually... so who better than someone whose OC blog intrigued you to begin with? If you like the aesthetic but not the OC... why not just follow the same resource blog they did, for more of the aesthetic you like?

An RP blog is essentially for helping to meet other RPers; it's like making a scrapbook about your character to show/advertise to others, to see if they might be interested in RP with your lil guy - "here's what they're like, are you interested?". But when people come by and only take from you, and don't engage in any other way, shape, or form? They don't reblog, or even hit the heart on your original works ( ie they literally just take aesthetic posts they could have gotten from the same resource blog that I did, so I get a notification, thinking it was someone actually interested in engaging in our shared, social hobby - but it's just someone who wants something from me) - or support you by maybe sharing your original work at all... well, it certainly makes *me* feel used, and it's both hurtful, and frustrating. It makes me feel like I'm just an object, and not a person behind a screen looking for contacts in a community that only seems to stop by when someone wants something; it makes me feel like people don't think about the person behind the screen.

That said, I explained it recently like the old "neighbor asking for a cup of sugar" thing - if I know you and we interact and I know you're not some stranger who only comes by to take from me what you will? Why wouldn't I be willing to share/ 'give you a cup of sugar'? There are definitely people I think are great on here, who support not only me, but so many others in the community, by sharing creative works and writing fun tags on them, etc. But if a complete stranger showed up at your home and didn't ask for a cup of sugar, but barged right in and started helping themselves to everything in your fridge... wouldn't you be upset in some manner? They didn't say hi, didn't introduce themselves... they didn't say anything at all, and you have no idea who this person is! You'd probably lock your door, and not open it to strangers anymore - plus, it's not like you wouldn't make them a sandwich if they were a friend in need, but it's off-putting to be used... and doubly so when you don't even know who this person is.

I've lost a lot of my desire to try and be active, myself, because no one seems to reach out for RP anymore (all my longterm RP friends from years ago have quit RP over the last few years because of this - they were always the ones putting in all the effort with reaching out to new contacts - among a handful of other reasons), and as a fellow anxious person... you just gotta bite the bullet and be social at times if you want RP, you can't hide behind social anxiety in a social hobby (don't I know it). You can't just hope it falls in your lap. But between being regularly ghosted by people (who seem to only want ERP, and disappear when it doesn't happen) - and Tumblr mostly just being a hurtful experience... I've largely gone inactive, and try to share others' stuff when I do log on.

Tl;dr If the only thing people want is aesthetic posts... why not just follow the same resource blogs - why use the blog of someone trying to make connections? If they want to RP, or establish some sort of connection by mutually sharing each other's creative works, and sending asks and doing tag games, etc. - (ie if they want to establish a rapport) then that's amazing! Full steam ahead.

But it hurts, and ultimately makes me feel pretty worthless when I love a character I've worked hard on and tried for years to establish, and then most notifications are just another name of a stranger who only comes by to take aesthetic posts they could have gotten anywhere else.

Sorry for being long-winded - the ADHD contributes to that, but I've also had some people be incredibly entitled and cruel when I was blocking them, and pointed out to them that the only notifications I had from them for many months was them simply taking aesthetic posts, and never interacting otherwise... as if they felt entitled to pump my blog for their own OC's aesthetic (or its someone who follows me and just instantly starts combing my blog for their OC's aesthetic... conveniently skipping anything that's actually original work I spent time creating) - so I tend to overexplain, these days, so it's clear that it comes from a place of hurt, and trying to protect myself and cultivate a healthier circle of people around me... its not out of malice, or grudges, etc.

[choilaura]

My OC 'Vossler Valentine' (formerly 'Hewley')

Hey all! How is everyone doing? I've actually decided, after almost a year, to post up my OC 'Vossler Lucius Valentine' AKA 'Voss' AKA 'V'

I have been playing him in RP (roleplaying) scenario's, since 2009, and I've decided to share him all with you! He once started out as my own character from FinalFantasy VII (7) and has a lot of backstory behind him. Those who know characters from FF7, may know the character 'Angeal Hewley' and so i wrote him as Angeal's older SOLDIER brother. Over the past couple of years, he has really evolved as a character, and one i've introduced into the MCU, thanks to some amazing creativity between me and my longest friend, Larissa, and other people here on Tumblr. So, with that said, I'd like to introduce him to you here, and just get some general opinion and feedback on him! I will try to keep it brief, but i just love adding detail about all sorts of things on here. My BIG THANKS to my roleplaying friends over this past year! You're all so amazing, and you'd all given so much love to V already! Vossler Valentine, off you go into the MCU! (AU) This is loosly tied to the events of the MCU, with a bit of AU thrown in too.

Vossler Valentine, stands at about 5' 8", with long dark brown hair, which is waist length, often braided into a 'fishtail' braid. He has striking green eyes, infused with the powers of his own universe, which stand out against his tanned skin. Today, he has a soft '5 o clock shadow', but most days, he is clean shaven. He has a scar on his face, which starts from the left side of the bridge of his nose, narrowly ending at his jawline. This was from an accident long ago. His age - thirty seven, though when clean shaven, looks more like thirty five. His green eyes tell a story - many stories infact, ones of adventure, pain, love, hurt, but you know what they say 'fortune favours the bold' though this hasn't always been in his favour. His hobbies? A black belt in Taekwondo, reading, sparring drills, doing 'slow side kick exercises', spirituality, mentoring, stoic, yet kind, and firm, easy going.

SO, how did he wind up in the MCU? This part follows next.. THE STORY - SO FAR -

Vossler was called upon from his universe, to the SHIELD agency, with connections to Howard and Maria Stark, and so had met a certain college guy named 'Tony Stark', who at the time was in college, and through college Tony met a young trainee Doctor called 'Steven Strange' who gave Vossler a frosty, jealous attitude as their friendship grew closer, the more Steven was away training to become a doctor. At this moment, Vossler is just over 30. Vossler quickly became friends with the young Tony Stark, and of course, as things go, friends become something more..friends who develop feels, one curious about the others universe, the other, falling for the charm and tenacity of Howard Stark's son. Friendship soon turns to 'friendship with benefits', and after a few heated hook up's and flings, Vossler is called back to assist SHEILD, and becomes involved further in what would be the death of Peter Parkers parents, as a witness. It is at this time, that Vossler is entrusted to become the young Parker's guardian and protector, on the basis that the child stays under the further protection of Tony stark, also bereaved of his own parents death. The idea behind this is to give Tony 'something to do' other than party/drink/mayhem lifestyle, according to Voss. Steven Strange returns from training, and the three of them live together, with Voss fading into the background...a silent protector. Vossler's job, is to do simply that - protect. Protect, Protect, Protect, and signs a contract under Tony Stark, body guarding both Stark, and young Parker. Feelings re-ignite once more, between Stark and Valentine, under this 'special relationship' that is formed, and Stark continues to be Vossler's boss, giving him access to tech, of which V refuses. The power play between Stark and Valentine intensifies, particulary after a night of heavy drinking on Stark's part, and Vossler shows up on scene, finding Tony drunk in the office. Things become heated, and Stark and Valentine kiss, which leads to a heated night between them. This goes on for months, the 'special relationship' continues, and Vossler falls in love with Tony. The two eventually call it off just before Vossler's 35th birthday, with Tony gifting Voss a silver 'V' initial necklace, telling him it was a 'gift of friendship'. Voss later, is called back to his universe, leaving behind Peter, and Tony, and Steven, who has been involved in a terrible car accident.

Part two of his story will follow. For now, here is a list of music that inspires me to write Voss. Prompto's solitude - FinalFantasy XV (volume two soundtrack) Is this love? - Whitesnake Don't stand so close to me - The Police Face my fears - Utada Hikaru (english version)

[nitewrighter]

Hi hi! I always admired your writing, my favorite thing about it is how natural you can make people interact with each other.

But my question to you is, where do you draw inspiration from? Or if you have any references?

I have a fantasy story where the MC through some shenanigans, becomes a defacto student teacher, so most of the other characters she interacts with is high school aged students or other faculty staff. So we're looking at a about a decade difference older and younger. And im not sure how to write them without it feeling awkward or stilted.

Aw, thank you very much! I'd say I take inspiration from a whole lot of different places, both from my own life and from the media I consume. Both my parents are teachers who had summers off, so we would be able to travel a lot as I was growing up, and I got to see a lot of places, and I grew up in a big family, so there were lots of gatherings that put me in contact with lots of aunts and uncles and cousins, so you kind of grow up with a wide variety of interactions... I also roleplayed a lot in forum text RP's on gaiaonline when I was in high school and even in my first two years of college, which were themselves collaborative storytelling but also put me in contact with a lot of other amateur writers' voices and a lot of very distinct characters--sure a lot of them were anime knockoffs, but behind those anime knockoffs were very earnest and passionate voices. And I do have a degree in creative writing and was writing both academically and as a hobby in college (hoo!). But I've also always been hardcore into fantasy and science fiction from a young age, and also like... and like, that's kind of a whole melting pot in my brain. And I grew up reading a lot because I'd often be stuck after school with my parents working late grading papers. There's a lot of voices in my head and when I write I just.. tend to hear them. So lots of reading, lots of writing. Lots of getting out into the world. No small amount of Video Games.

As for your writing question, I think part of making dialogue feel natural is being willing to embrace the awkward. In the case of a student teacher, I can tell you that I actually work with a lot of people 10+ years my senior, and age differences with your coworkers really aren't as awkward as you think once you're past your mid-20's. There's some hierarchical stuff, because there's clear differences in levels of experience, but most of the time you're just... doing your job. I think basically the two questions you want to ask yourself when you're writing dialogue is:

A. What is this dialogue meant to accomplish? (Plot-wise, characterization-wise, exposition-wise... there's a lot of functions for dialogue! If you're just having characters talk for the sake of having them talk, you might find yourself stuck!)

B. How will the characters's own voices/characterizations, and their perception of the other character, affect this goal?

Let's say.. your MC is talking with a kind of stodgy, tenured-type teacher--real old school kind of guy. This is a guy who's very used to his routines, not really in the space to have a young person with approximately 20 minutes of experience disrupt what ain't been broke for 20 years for him. And oh lord, she looks like she has ideas. But they're still coworkers, so he's blandly polite but pretty terse.

"Oh no," you're saying, "Where's the banter? Where's the flow?"

Well that's just it: This ain't a marvel movie. Dialogue does not need to jingle keys in your face and be constant back-and-forth to be engaging. This is the part where all the "show don't tell" that all those writing classes have been talking about actually comes in. What's it like in the room? What are both of their body languages like? Does talking to this guy inexplicably make her sweater feel itchier, or is she just refusing to itch because she doesn't want this guy to think she's fidgety? Is she looking around the room for something, anything to talk about (environments are people too!!). Would they have misunderstandings? Uncomfortable pauses? Who wants to get out of the conversation first? The dialogue itself is only a part of a whole scene--so don't be afraid to zoom out to the scene.

As for the decade younger crowd, you can apply questions A and B as needed but keep in mind results may vary in terms of these whippersnappers' relationships to authority. No teacher is everyone's favorite teacher, and some kids are just straight-up assholes.

Anyway, Hope this helps.

[merryhelps]

                  plotting etiquette : a players guide

                                            [ coming soon / an admins guide ] 

plotting is an essential part to writing together; whether you’re in a group, an indie blog or even a 1x1, you need to be able to communicate with your peers in order to build a story. and that’s why we’re all here, right? to create worlds, no matter what the context, and most importantly, to do this with others. roleplaying is a team effort - no matter what universe you’re writing in.  below the cut are some helpful tips, tricks and advice to remember when attempting to plot with others. if you’ve found this guide useful, please like and/or reblog to spread the word - and hopefully help out others along the way.                               ***a part two will be out next week for admins on how to promote and help your group with plotting. 

                             i. ‘i’m scared of bothering people!’

this is a statement i’ve seen the most often around the rpc - whether it’s from a various text post people reblog, or as an admin who’s been on the receiving end of messages like this. 

it’s important to remember that most of us get a little nervous about reaching out. while writing original pieces or fanfiction can give you some distance between the creating portion and the feedback process, there’s no real space for roleplaying. it’s an instantaneous thing - we put our words out there on the screen, and someone else has to reply to that in some capacity.

whether you’re an extrovert, an introvert or something in between, this can often be the beginning of the end for a lot of roleplayers. maybe  you’ve joined an established group, and it seems like everyone has set dynamics and you don’t want to shake things up. or maybe you’re an indie blog, but you’re too scared to talk to someone you’ve idolized and want to write with. 

the thing is, you can’t expect people to know what you want if you can’t verbalize it yourself. let them know you’re a little nervous ! chances are, they are too. we’re all on this platform trying to do the same thing, and everyone gets nervous about exposing themselves to strangers now and again. ultimately, we put a little piece of ourselves in every character we create, and that can be terrifying to show to people and expect them to accept. but a little effort goes a long way - making the first move can often help build a bridge to someone you might not have otherwise gotten the chance to write with.  you’re going to have to take a risk sometimes. while not everyone is going to be receptive, most people will be. and chances are, if you start with something as simple as “hi, i’d love the chance to write / plot with you,” you’ll be met with an extraordinarily excited new partner. understand that if they don’t, it’s not a bad thing ! some writing styles don’t mesh together, some people have a harder time talking freely than others, and so many of us regularly forget to reply to a message. know that if you’ve put yourself out there, that’s a huge step in the right direction, no matter what comes of it, and next time it’ll be even easier. 

                            ii. come prepared.

this is ultimately where a lot of players fall short. it’s one thing to say ‘let’s plot’, and another thing to do it altogether. you need to have some sort of jumping off point. 

some ideas include: 

a prompt / plot idea. 

this is especially important if it’s a new person you’re trying to interact with. it’s difficult to come up with things on the spot, and if you’re reaching out, you need to have something to reach out with. 

in a group you’ll want to take the time to read their biography / about / wanted connections if they have them listed. it’s a quick way to ensure you have a basis of what they want, and how you and your characters can then fill those needs. 

as an indie / 1x1 see if they have any ‘wanted plots’ or ‘prompts’ tags. check out their ask memes tags. ensure you’ve read their guidelines on both of these, and follow them. while most people have similar rules, you can’t know that for sure unless you’ve read through them. 

questions about their character(s).

everyone adores talking about their own characters - give them an opportunity to let them tell you about theirs! even if they’re playing a canon character, they’ll have their own take on them, with headcanons and quirks and hobbies that might not show up in the specific canon the character comes from. 

use ask memes if you need help coming up with questions - ask memes are extraordinarily helpful when it comes to fleshing out muses for developmental purposes as it is, and while they’re usually made for general tumblr interaction, they can be a great jumping off point for talking specifics. 

don’t be afraid to point out things in their bio / about / etc. this shows that you’ve gone through and read their pages, which shows that you care about them as a person and a character, and not merely another faceclaim. 

talk about your character(s).

it’s always good, especially in a group, to have a small statement of facts about your character. in business, this is called an ‘elevator pitch’ - a few concise sentences that can get someone else interested.

for example, merrick wood is a former cheerleader who would do absolutely anything for her sister, holly, has no real ambitions and loves the weird and supernatural. you can find her swimming, or listening to mix cd’s she makes for her own amusement, or even on the hunt for big foot. this now gives the other player a few things to pick through - what kind of music is she listening to? why is her sister so important to her? is cheerleading still important enough for her to mention it to someone?

                           iii. plotting is a two way street.

the above two points work on the basis that you’ve made the first move - but say you’re the one who’s gotten the message of someone eager to plot with you ! takes a little stress off of your plate, but adds to their own. no matter what, remember that there is a real person on the other side of the screen. be kind, and treat them how you’d want to be treated - even if you’re not interested in writing with them, let them know ! a simple thanks for the message! i’m honored you’re interested in my characters, but at the moment i don’t think we’d be a good fit is enough of a response that most people should leave it at that. if you get a message saying they’re not interested, simply say ‘thank you for replying!’ and move on. as stated above, not everyone will always click - respect people’s boundaries, and understand that you’ll find a new partner in due time. 

responding to plotting messages is as important as creating them; if someone says they want to plot and gives you ideas, play off of them. don’t simply say ‘okay!’ or ‘cool!’ - a habit a lot of people have had over the years. 

                example. if jenny says “i think it would be great if robert could surprise them with flowers,” reply wth “oh how cute!!!” and end there - expand on it, adding your own input - “that’s so cute! denise adores lilacs, and would be flustered to get them from someone she admires so much!”                     the latter sentence gives your partner something to respond to, something to work with, and may just end up being in the thread you write together! 

                          iv. don’t make your admins do all the work.

this section is primarily for group roleplayers. 

your admin(s) already do so much. behind the scenes, there’s constantly updating the main pages, queueing ads, coming up with tasks and events and plot drops to keep players entertained and happy. at the same time, they’re trying to play in the group with you - create their own stories, write their own characters. they should not have to spoon feed you plots. these are things you need to develop on your own and with fellow players. 

               example. in a town rp, and you have a social butterfly character ? throw a birthday party for a character, giving the other characters something to participate in without an official Admin Sponsored Event.                    you should of course ensure the admin is okay with you having ‘events’ like the above for various players, and you need to ensure you’re inclusive in them - don’t ‘throw a party’ and not invite half the group because you don’t want to plot with them. take the time to message players of characters who might not normally show up and figure out something else with them, or a reason why they would be there or even why they wouldn’t! 

                         v. stop bubbling.

at the end of the day, plotting together is the best way to stop bubbling from happening in your group. no one wants to be the player left out of everything - make sure to try and reach out to the others, especially if you think other players may be ignoring them. writing together - in a group, on an indie, anywhere really - is supposed to be fun and challenging and a different experience every time.  before you go to your admins about being left out / ignored, ask yourself if you’ve done the above. have you messaged other players ? asked them about their characters, and given ideas of potential prompts for the two of you to write ? if you have, and you’re still getting ignored, then absolutely talk to your admin team! but try and be proactive instead of reactive and you’d be amazed at how far you can go. 

                                    hopefully this guide will help you - remember, your roleplay experience is ultimately cultivated by yourself. you choose which groups to apply to, which characters to bring, and your attitudes and behaviors can affect your gameplay. being in a group, specifically, is about being a part of a team. become a team player, and you and your characters can find the roleplay family of your dreams  ♡

[metalbound]

|| I actually realized while talking to a friend, that I stress myself out A LOT because I keep thinking about me ‘needing to be on here on this blog’ and ‘need to write the replies’ and ‘need to do things to not disappoint my rp partners’...

But then, actually, it’s supposed to be fun, right? RPing is a hobby, not a chore. We all made blogs to enjoy ourselves, explore dynamics of our muses and whatever we wanna write with them. To share said joy with other RPers, maybe find mutual interests and develop plots.

I tend to focus on things and, after a while, it slows down. I can feel myself getting excited over something else and I feel fucking guilty about it - WHICH I SHOULD NOT. Nobody should be! Yet I sit here every day, thinking about how ‘I need to go on my Karl blog and write’, and the more days pass, the more guilty I feel because I think that I am ‘letting people down’, which... is really not the right way to think about it.

Because we all do not owe each other replies. We do not owe our RP partners to reply within a certain time frame. We do not owe each other to keep the things up and running at all costs.

Me thinking about ‘I need to do x and y’ kills my joy. The thing I have made that blog to begin with. It fills me with guilt because I feel that people are disappointed, maybe even thinking bad of me because I may not get to their things in time, or even drop threads. It really shouldn’t be like that though, we all - everyone deserves to do what makes them happy, and feeling anxious because ‘you still have so much to do’ (like, a lot of replies waiting for you to be done) should not be a part of it.

So, yeah, I’ve been thinking about it and came to the realization that I shouldn’t feel exhausted by just being here because there’s those drafts sitting and waiting for me. I also shouldn’t feel guilty for prioritizing other things over RP - or even prioritize other RP blogs over this one.

No one should feel this way - but to many people, this feels like a chore - some even expect it to be handled like one, want you to reply within ‘a reasonable time frame’ (which can differ wildly from person to person) and I get it, I totally do! Especially when you are excited and want to do all the things, it sucks when you try to RP with someone who is slow or even left their blog behind for weeks and months on end or maybe changed fandoms right then.

I totally get it. I am there all the time whenever I hyperfixate on another thing I love and make a blog because of it.

But it still is not a chore and we still do not owe those excited people a reply, even though they kind of hope for it to happen / want it.

But, long story short: I (and every other person actually) should not feel guilty or forced, or anxious or stressed, when thinking about RPing / being on a blog. Yes, I am slow as fuck on here. Yes, I may have not written much within the last months. Maybe I will even be gone for good, who knows? I love my Karl muse to no end and I have a lot of muse for him, I just cannot see myself writing much for him right now and that should be okay. I should stop to feel guilty, I should stop to treat this like a chore and I should be okay with me chosing to do something else / to RP a different character than doing the threads I have on here.

I know there may be people who don’t like what I say here - people who wait since ages for a reply, or who want to interact, or who think I should have gotten to their thread like a month ago. Maybe there are people who are disappointed in me, my writing, me being absent since a while bc I focus on my other blog...

But that should NOT be MY problem, right? As this is NOT work. NOT a mission I have to complete. This is for fun, and as much as I always make sure my RP partners have fun as well while writing with me, my own comfort and fun should come first.

So should yours.

RPing is for fun, I need to remember that. It’s a hobby, not work.

And I’m sorry for disappointing people with being away, with letting things slowly fade or not getting back to them as quickly as I used to. But it is what it is.

[poppi-fields]

[LFRP] 𝔑oishe 𝔊athluain 🌙

— — — —  𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬.

Age: Mid-twenties? Probably?

Nameday: 21st Sun of the Sixth Astral Moon

Race: Miqo’te ; Keeper of the Moon

Gender: ┑(￣Д ￣)┍ (All pronouns fine, usually uses they/them.)

Orientation: Demisexual ; panromantic

Alignment: Wouldn’t you like to know?

— — — —  𝐏𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐀𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞.

Hair: Dark blue, lightening slightly at the tips (which appears to be naturally occurring) and almost impossibly long. Often tied back in a nearly-knee length ponytail. Haircuts appear to be very infrequent and haphazardly done, judging by the state of their bangs, but the hair is healthy, as is the fur of their large fluffy tail.

Eyes: Pale blue, almost white. A deeply intense gaze, often sharp and analytical, though they have been known to gleam when mischief is afoot.

Height: 4′10″

Build: Lithe and elegant, with long limbs and nimble fingers. They carry themselves with a graceful posture, always light on their feet, but their movements innately carry a ‘predator on the hunt’ vibe.

Distinguishing Features: Typically wears simple ritualistic paint on their face, around their eyes and along their cheekbones. Mouth is full of pointed fangs. Rarely seen without a mask on, even outside the Shroud.

— — — —  𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐈𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.

Profession: ‘Janitor’. Will gladly clean up your human-sized messes... for the right price.

Hobbies: Playing the piano; ‘urban exploration’; writing poetry; baking; people watching; clothing design; traditional song.

Languages: Fluent in Eorzean, Rogue’s Cant, and Huntspeak. Has basic conversational knowledge of most other commonly spoken languages.

Residence: Inn rooms while traveling; ancestral home deep in the Shroud.

Birthplace: The Black Shroud

Patron Deity: Menphina

— — — —  𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬.

Relationship Status: Single, never married.

Parents: Deceased.

Siblings: Deceased.

Other Relatives: All deceased except for two cousins.

Pets/Other: N/A

— — — —  𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬.

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between /  Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

— — — —  𝐑𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲 𝐇𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐬.

♦ A SONG IN THE DARK. Travelers in the Shroud have occasionally brought back tales of hearing distant songs being sung while they camp for the night. Those who are brave enough to try and investigate find that the singing stops when they get too close, and there's never any sign of a living being. While some have voiced concern that it may be a Voidsent trying to lure the unwitting to their doom, not all are convinced the entity is malicious. The Wood Wailers have offered a small bounty to adventurers willing to investigate.

♦ A TALE TO TELL. The Gathluain were one of the more infamous Keeper clans, back in their prime. Legends say that they were Menphina’s chosen assassins, sworn to kill those who earned the goddess’ wrath or harmed her Keepers. Perhaps something drives you to seek out the truth, to know for certain if the Gathluain were only ever just stories... or something more. Good intentions or ill, your quest has pointed you in Noishe’s direction, but don’t expect any direct answers...

♦ A KNIFE IN THE BACK. You wish to see a life taken; a wrong righted; a slight rectified permanently. Whether you lack the means to do it yourself, or simply require a middleman to keep the blood off your hands, you seek an assassin to carry out this dark deed... and there are whispers of a lithe little Keeper who's quite capable. Your more 'esoteric' contacts have led you to Noishe's metaphorical doorstep, but you might have to plead your case.

♦ A HINT OF A SMILE. Despite their seclusion, Noishe has been known to occasionally leave their home in the Shroud and head into the cities, seeking sociable companionship and culture. They are particularly drawn to other Miqo'te, always curious to learn of other customs and traditions, but any particularly interesting individual may earn a conversation or two from this mysterious creature. Perhaps the intrigue is mutual- approach and see what lurks behind those icy eyes.

♦ ANOTHER IDEA? Noishe is rather flexible as a character, and they often find themselves in all sorts of strange situations. Got another idea for how our characters can meet? Run it past me!

— — — —  𝐎𝐎𝐂 𝐈𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.

I’m in the PST/PDT time zone, with a work schedule that thankfully takes up only a small amount of my time. This means I can adjust to most schedules, given enough forewarning! If we can’t work something out, I’m also open to Discord RP.

Noishe is currently on Mateus with no plans of transferring, but I’m happy to server hop for RP!

Please be 18 or older, both IC and OOC. I’m not comfortable RPing with underage folks! Sorry!

Shy, but friendly! Feel free to strike up a conversation! I love making new friends. If I don’t reply right away, it’s likely because I’m AFK... I zone out a lot...

I’m happy to give my Discord ID to those who want to chat, plot, set up a meeting, or figure out a connection. Just send me a Tumblr IM and ask!

No bigots, creeps, weirdos or jerks. I have a very low tolerance for bullsh*t, so don’t test me.

[rpbetter]

I often see multis post that they want to make a new muse, at the same time as they're backed up on threads and asks, and they get their followers to "enable" them to make that muse in the post replies. What is your take on this? Is it a they-can-do-what-they-want situation, or is it reasonable to be annoyed when I see this? Or both?

Hey, Anon!

Both.

I mean, as usual, this is my opinion of an opinion-based matter. This isn't an equation that has an objectively right to wrong scale, it isn't actually hurting any living person or thing. But...it is incredibly annoying and can be hurtful.

They can totally do what they want, and much of the nature of genuine creativity is exactly that - the allowance of doing whatever you so desire. It's something I support rather adamantly, but it's also something I support trying our best to do responsibly and without being hurtful to anyone in a hobby that involves more than ourselves.

This isn't deciding to write another fic when you've not finished the previous four or five that others were interested in, or never finishing any of your original fiction, but continually starting new projects. While others might be enjoying those things as well, you didn't agree to interact with them. They're audience members, not participants.

When others are participants in a hobby that has to work both ways, it's different. Your actions do affect other, real human beings.

So, I totally feel like you've a right to be annoyed every time you see that happening. I do. I tend to unfollow people who do that repeatedly, as we're not pursuing the hobby in the same way. I'll argue all day that someone has a right to their, sometimes literally, eighty-plus muses they never develop or stick to, but that doesn't mean I want to engage with them as a writing partner.

For those of us who want long-term writing partners with the same, well-developed muses, this kind of thing just is annoying. As is everything else that comes with it.

As in...

They're constantly posting "talk me out of adding x" as code for "talk me into writing x."

No one actually wants to be talked out of it, which was probably more obvious to everyone else here than it was me for a little while lmao I tend to take things rather literally. This was, as one can imagine, not appreciated! Telling someone in total earnestness, "I really don't think that's a good choice. You're always saying how overwhelmed you are and just dropped multiple threads yesterday, so adding another muse is going to make you feel worse eventually. Don't do it! :)" is so not what they were looking for. As was evident by the return meltdown over how they could do what they wanted, like I said they couldn't or had any authority over what they're doing with their time.

It's an obnoxious bit of pandering for a foregone conclusion.

Have you ever seen anyone who posts that sort of thing not pick up that muse? I haven't. I've only seen muns who are legitimately on the fence about it asking others in private conversations or testing out the muse decide against it. The thing that makes this incredibly irritating is the attention-seeking and need to validate something they must know isn't a great choice, otherwise, they'd just do it. They're aware that they're behind on drafts, asks, and other things - aware that this is maybe a dick move when they owe everyone already. So, they're seeking "permission" with full knowledge that multiple mutuals are going to hop on that post with encouragement, even some of the ones being messed over by this choice.

It puts people in a bad situation.

Some of those people genuinely don't care, they just want to interact with any muse, and I'm going to be awful and say it - they don't care about totally interchangeable muses and have them themselves. That's fine, this isn't a problem for them. It is for the mutuals who are hoping that maybe if their writing partner gets into this new muse, they'll get a reply to their threads with that energy, or that they'll stick to this one and they can have consistent interactions with them. It is for the mutuals who feel pressured to respond positively because they fear not responding at all will make them seem like bad rpers.

One more thing playing into the counter logic excuse for shitty behavior of "it's just a hobby" is one more thing too many, and it does exactly that.

No one wants to be accused of being remotely too invested in RP anymore, of taking it too seriously, or having any emotional investment in muses, stories, or muns. Not accepting every choice someone makes that negatively impacts you with a grin on your face while you dump confetti on them for it just isn't a comfortable option for a lot of muns anymore. Honesty isn't a comfortable option. While the other option isn't either, it seems better than that mutual noticing you're the only writing partner who didn't hop onto that post with support any of the multiple times they reblogged it. It's only a hobby in which everyone can do what they want until what one wants clashes. Then, you're getting a callout for being addicted to RP.

And the way it tends to clash most is in having expectations of others. Ones that would be totally normal in any other hobby requiring interaction with other people.

Like not overburdening yourself at the expense not only of yourself but those on your "team." That's what is being done when someone knows they cannot keep up with themselves, but continues to add to the situation with new muses.

Not only are you no longer getting responses already while they're intending to add even more to their overflowing plate, you'll be dropped again when they have to "fresh start" their blog because they're burned out.

I have to put that in quotations because I don't know how it's a fresh start when you keep everything but the blog layout the same. All the muses and all the behaviors, including adding a new one despite not having the time or interest necessary to do so, is inevitably maintaining the problems that led to burnout. Dropping every thread, changing the URL, a new blog layout, new aesthetics, isn't fixing the issue even if it temporarily reinvigorates the mun.

The mun is definitely doing things that are not helpful to them, it's stressful and upsetting to experience burnout, but it's at least that mun's choice. Both to do it and to become defensive over fixing it, thus, never fixing it. It isn't anyone else's choice to be repeatedly dropped or ignored, though...unless they just keep sticking around for it.

Again, we're supposed to respect everyone's choices. That's fine when it really works that way, when it is truly everyone. But it's not an acceptable decision to see a multimuse of twenty or more muses and say that's your limit, that you've experienced too many muns who are serial muse-adders not being able to keep up with themselves, so you don't interact with these blogs. If one feels that way, they had better not put it in their rules or ever be upfront about this as a reason, when one is demanded, for not following back or interacting.

It's not acceptable to see a writing partner adding another muse after they've owed you for months, just wiped their inbox, and keep expressing being overwhelmed/behind and become annoyed. Let alone dropping them or explaining to them why you are doing so.

The only "acceptable" course of action is hoping that they totally forget you exist so you can quietly slip away.

I don't feel like that's especially fair or mature. It certainly isn't helping the communication problem we absolutely do have here in the RPC when only one party is allowed to communicate without fear of being labeled, rather ironically, as a bad RP partner.

While this problem seems to be most prevalent in more casual RPers, it's certainly not isolated there. I feel like it's necessary to say that I've had muns I both interacted with and were simply on my dash alike who were not on that more casual side who went from being multis to being muse collectors. Once they hit over fifteen of them or so, they stopped even bothering to try to refrain from picking up at least one muse from every new piece of media they consumed or were inspired by.

It was more annoying because they had been capable of writing truly unique characters they stuck to, and even if they were, with full and upfront admission before interaction, slower to respond, those responses were well worth any wait for the quality of writing and storytelling going on. That's so much worse than someone who was always at a lower skill level as a writer, didn't have a good grasp on characterization, and wasn't especially dedicated to anything. It's depressing and disappointing, but it's also not what you think you're getting into when trying to carefully pick who to write with. Like everyone else, my time to enjoy this hobby is far from twenty-four-seven as well. It's important to me to try to choose muns I'll work out with well so that neither of us is wasting the other's time. And that's what it feels like - the investment of time was a waste because their hobby became adding infinite muses, or rather, the idea of muses.

So, yes, while it is fully everyone's right to write what and how they want to (even if it amounts to not writing at all), it'd be nice if we were all as committed to doing so in a way that was adult enough to respect commitments we've made to each other as we are, as a RPC, to losing our minds when someone merely drops the words "commitments" or "respect."

For the inevitable muse-collectors running across this:

Fiction is inspiring! That doesn't mean you needn't be inspired by anything, just that picking up or creating a whole other muse might not be the best way to follow this inspiration.

If you're considering another muse, but you find yourself already behind and/or overwhelmed? Try one of these instead:

create a plot based on it! Write up the idea and put it in your wanted plots/wishlist tag. Bring it up to partners you think might be interested in it as well, or seek out a crossover from that fandom

make it a new verse for an existing muse! This is as close as you get to creating a new muse without actually doing so, and in many ways, it takes even more creativity. How is your muse different in this AU than they are in canon, how are they the same? In the ways that they are the same, what similar events but done in a way that is natural/logical to this universe have happened to maintain that? Get really creative!

for either/both of these, make some moodboards and aesthetics with that energy while you're waiting on someone to take you up on these new things. Answer some HC asks or tag games using your new verse, or write an independent HC for the verse or plot

talk to writing partners who already love that muse about their new verse/your desired plot! No, not pressuring talk, just normal conversation between friends, but maybe they will be interested in starting a thread

simply be inspired to include some aspect of what you liked in an existent thread. A particular scene you could pull ideas from, the overall mood of a film, or the way something was written in a book - include that in your replies somehow! RP is creative writing, be creative

There are so many, honestly more organic, directions to take inspiration than bluntly adding a new muse. Especially when you're already overburdened, not holding up your end of replies, and/or not able to portray each muse as their own character properly.

Sometimes, it's not just not a great idea to add a whole new muse, and that's alright. There seems to be a serious problem with fomo going on with this whole issue, too. You're not going to miss out if you do not immediately add this character to your multi, and you're never going to fully keep up with what is trending anyway. Do it because you still want to write this muse in four months instead, they're obviously not going anywhere if that's the case, and they'll be a better developed, interesting portrayal for that.

And people do have a right to be annoyed when they feel sidelined by you seeing a shiny object and repeatedly pandering for validation in dropping them for it. Particularly if you're a mun who, further, expects everyone to be just as interested in every new muse you make as the last. As in, you're annoyed when you keep creating muses no one is falling over themselves to interact with, guilting, shaming, or outright demanding that this new muse is interacted with before they have access to the previous ones.

They don't have a right to be mean you to, but they have a right to be annoyed and to drop you. They even have a right to politely decline explaining this to you if they feel unsafe, or to politely explain it to you before they move on.

Absolutely everyone's right to pursue RP and every facet of it as they so please, but no one else has to like what you're doing.

If this response grates on some of you out there? Consider the other options you have, how you might be making others feel, and that it's actually completely okay to tell yourself no. You won't perish if you tell yourself no to taking on a new muse when you, honestly, should not! It'll be okay! Maybe, you just need to evaluate if there is another muse, or more than one, you should remove before adding one. Maybe, you just need some time to reorganize how you reply before you add this one. "No" when told to yourself can simply mean "no, not right now, it isn't a good time/situation."

[real-jane]

20 Questions: Writer’s Edition

Tagged by @adecila <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

46 (22 of which were written between Jan 1 and Dec 31 2020)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

442,892

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

4, 3 on Ao3 - Tin Man, Alice (FFn only), Harry Potter, Star Wars

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

My Insides are Copper (691) (Dramione, hurt/comfort, Complete)

For Science (490) (Dramione, coworkers in love, only-one-bed, One Shot)

Lucky Dog (382) (Sirius/Hermione, marriage law, everyone's an adult, One Shot)

Bodyguard (362) (Dramione, soulmates, WIP)

Stupidity or Serendipity? (345) (Dramione, romantic comedy, Christmas theme, marriage of convenience, Complete)

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Absolutely! I'm so honored when people feel like leaving anything kind to say behind. Even if it's just a few words, I'd rather thank them for taking the time.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i will give all for you - Theo Nott finds out a secret about his father after he dies, and has to face the life he could have had.

I don't write a lot of angsty endings--hardly any, in fact! But that one is as bittersweet as I've ever written.

7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Oh, you mean which one gives people cavities? Definitely Stupidity or Serendipity? which I was inspired to write by Hallmark Holiday Rom-Coms

8. Do you write crossovers? If yes, what’s the craziest thing you’ve written?

No, the closest I've come is AU's - one is a Regency/Jane Austen-inspired fic, and one is a medieval royal AU.

9. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I had someone read 12.5 of 13 chapters of a fic and quit because my main character was "too good at her new job" despite being a person with a massive affinity for learning quickly. I was almost honored that they took the time to write a comment, even if it was a hateful one.

10. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Oh yes--it is typically loving, "it's always been you" type of smut, with a few slightly spicier stories among them!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware, but I did have someone mention seeing one of my fics on another website. My research lead nowhere and I have no idea if it really was stolen.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I had someone ask but I've never gotten confirmation that it ever occurred. I'd be totally honored, but I'm not a well-known author so I'm not counting on it ever happening!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

I've discussed it with a few of my fandom friends, but never anything official. I did use to RP write back in college!

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

I suppose it's Dramione, if we're talking my longest enduring ship! It's also the one to which I compare all others.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I really wish I had ever had the capacity to finish out The Brink - I started it towards the end of my time in the Tin Man fandom and I was no longer obsessed enough with DG/Cain to see it through. I love the story, such as it is!

16. What’s your writing strengths?

Dialogue - I took extensive playwriting courses in college so I can write dialogue for days on end. I also succeed much more in short-form fics.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

Linear plotting. I struggle to see a complex plot through in a way which makes logical sense, especially if I haven't done enough planning. I dream way too big, it's 100% the thing keeping me from ever pursuing writing outside of a hobby. It also means I don't have a large following, and that's ok. I admire writers, especially of fanfic, who can invent full and complex stories without much trouble.

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

I have very very minorly dabbled in adding other languages in, and only where it makes sense here and there. I don't feel comfortable doing more than that as someone who speaks only one language fluently.

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter, technically - it was absolutely mary sue fic my friend and I wrote in high school. My first ever published fic was for Tin Man!

20. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Playing Cyrano (Charlie Weasley/Hermione Granger, friends to lovers, based on Cyrano de Bergerac/Roxanne) - far and away my favorite. Best I've ever felt about my writing, and the payoff of the story!

Tagging anyone else who wants to play!

[hidiingplace]

TODD REBANE + RECKLESSNESS.

general. okay so BIG BIG BIG disclaimer and I want to make this extremely clear; this headcanon will involve discussion around s*lf-h*rm (SH) and s*icidal ideation (SI). PLEASE do not read if there are triggering topics for you or if they make you uncomfortable. While Todd’s methods and ideation for the afore mentioned topics are not extremely obvious depictions of SH or SI, I will be discussing them in depth. Please tread with caution. 

recklessness. Todd is a very reckless person with a general lack of self-preservation. Much of this stems from his mental illness which I’ve covered partially in this HC here. However, Todd’s Bipolar I disorder comes with its fair share of challenges beyond that of just the rising of mania and the falling of depression. Todd’s recklessness is a means to an end –– a coping mechanism of the unhealthy sort that he has struggled with since the age of 9. Let’s dissect this a bit.

becoming the fox. Todd did not originally become the Fox to be a hero, a vigilante, or even a villain. The Fox was a method for him to SH and potentially follow through with his SI. Todd knew that if he was jumping around the streets, flinging himself off buildings, fucking with criminals, fucking with cops, that somehow, someday, he might end up killed. This was his original driving force behind becoming the Fox. He had pent up rage and trauma and sadness inside him with nowhere to put it. So he put it into something physical in which he had an excuse to throw his body around and put himself in dangerous, compromising positions in which he could be murdered or seriously injured. This dark, tragic, and sad origin of The Fox is not something he talks about, and he struggles with explaining to people WHY he wanted to become the Fox in the first place when he is someone who prides himself on not only not being a hero, but also on not being a villain. 

skateboarding, fighting, free running. these are all methods of SH for Todd. Todd is what his friends call ‘the crash dummy’, meaning that Todd’s humorous way of throwing himself into dangerous tricks, precarious situations, and other reckless activities KNOWING he will come out injured is something most of his friends assume is done for attention. However, Todd’s hobbies all include an element of danger, coupled with his lack of self-preservation and willingness to do idiotic shit, Todd actually seeks out injury in many, many ways. Todd will not treat injuries for the sake of continuing the cycle of SH, as well. Todd has been known to fall off buildings, crash into walls, break bones, sprain ankles, get deep and painful cuts and bruises, and get up and keep going. While Todd often frames these activities as a fun way to ‘blow off steam’, there are many times when Todd’s need to get out and enjoy his hobbies if fuelled by an intense urge to SH. This isn’t to say that every time he picks up his skateboard, goes dirt biking, or free-running that he is looking to SH, but they are vehicles through which he can SH when the urges occur and no one will bat an eye because the SH is masked by his passion and talent. This injury-seeking gets worse while he is manic, which we will talk about in the next section.

bipolar i & it’s influence. When manic, Todd experiences a ‘euphoric’ high and rush of energy that makes everything he experiences more intense. His anger is more intense, his joy is more intense, his sadness is more intense, and unfortunately, this breeds in him a delusion of grandeur that he is unable to be harmed, or that it takes a lot more to harm him. This intense feelings are NOT a pleasant experience for Todd. Many people who experience Mania say that it is like living in a hell. He looses his sense of control, he becomes more irritable, more ‘unhinged’, and also experiences delusions about himself and others he cannot rein in through logic. While many people might assume that it makes him dangerous to be around, in this state he is actually far more of a danger to himself than to others. During fits of Mania he has jumped off buildings without his suit or any way to catch himself. He has been hit by cars, he has egged on cops to shoot him, he has punched walls, destroyed property, and other various reckless activities that put him in REAL danger of being hurt really badly or even killed. This is fuelled by those intense feelings and the urge to act on this energy that he has no where to put. It makes him a danger to himself, and this is apparent as soon as the crash of depression hits after the mania episode ends. During the crash, his SI swings and smacks against him like a ton of bricks that it hard to shake from his head, and he is more likely to act on it at this time. It is very common for Todd to come back from a Manic episode with a serious injury. There are many times that the only reason he is not dead is because Zipp puts the Fox suit on Todd without his consent in order to protect him and save his life. He has woken up from mania episodes in hospital in terrible condition before. His medication helps him regulate his manic episodes and level out his depression, which takes away the SH urges and SI very well if he is consistent with his medication. Unfortunately he is not always consistent with his medication. 

addiction. It should be noted as well, that Todd’s connection with addition through his father and bio-mother have a huge part to play in Todd’s recklessness and thrill seeking. Todd may not see the connection, but his father (Joey) does. Because of Todd’s trauma and depressive side of his Bipolar I, Todd chases the high that comes with the adrenaline rush of danger. He’s addicted to it in his own way. He feels that he can level himself out a little bit better when he is able to do something dangerous –– effectively pushing the depression away for a moment and allowing himself to feel even and ‘normal’. So even when the SH and SI is suppressed, he really enjoys these things because they provide him a rush of positive feelings that feel akin to the levelling out his medication provides him, without the feeling of numbness that sometimes comes with his medication.

summary. Todd struggles daily with the urge to SH and with the persistent SI that lives in his illness. The question of which came first (Todd’s SH and SI or his reckless nature) is a chicken and egg situation. It’s hard to separate the two as Todd has been struggling with Bipolar I disorder since he was 9 years old (undiagnosed until 19), and as such, has had SH urges and SI since about that age as well. Todd is only vaguely aware that what he is doing could be considered SH. He’s aware of his SI but rarely talks about it, and the SH behaviour he does not really recognize because he was not educated on it during his very short time in therapy.

note to RP partners. if your muse is a friend/partner of Todd’s, it will take them a VERY long time to figure out that Todd has SH urges and SI. He is very good at masking this with his attitude, tucking his SH into misadventures with his hobbies, and never opening up about his SI. Given the lifestyle Todd leads, him being injured is a common thing and would be a common thing even without his SH or SI. This is something to keep in mind. Your muse would need to either be a psychologist/psychologically educated/trained, have someone they know who experiences Bipolar I with SH and SI, have themselves be Bipolar I, have spent A LOT of time with Todd and seen him go through MULTIPLE Manic episodes and Depressive crashes, or be a mind-reader. This isn’t to say your muse can’t notice Todd’s recklessness is a little too much or that they cannot voice concerns about his self-endangerment, but confronting him about SH or SI would be a very strange thing to do if they’re not in his life for a very extended period of time, or have education on the subject.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #467

“oh, mary, mary, ain’t this fun?  /  mary, mary, i’ve got a gun”

If the last person you kissed asked you to marry them, what would you do? Pray to god it wasn't in public and tell him it's waaaay too soon for that one. Does your favorite uncle have any children? Yeah, a son and daughter. Name all the members (first, middle and last names) from your favorite band. Ha, it's funny how once upon a time, I could do this. All I've got now is John Michael Osbourne. Have you ever heard a young child swear? Maybe? Have you ever seen someone get a piercing/tattoo?: Yes to both. Has a taste of something ever made you smile? Boy meet me at The Cheesecake Factory and see what my face does lmaooo As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? I wanted to be a paleontologist sooo badly. I wanted to discover new dinosaurs, put a shitload of work into unearthing fossils and being so proud to see the final results... Even now as an adult, if I could handle the heat, traveling, and hardcore school, I'd still love to do that. Would you cuss the person you hate the most out to their face? No. My hatred for her is unjustified and I'd rather just not say anything to her. Have you ever spent more than two weeks in a wheelchair? No. Where do you see your closest friend in ten years? As one of the strongest people around. I imagine her with a job in medical coding, while also pursuing the hobbies of ball python breeding and writing. I'm sure she'll have loads of pets to love, too! Do you like Florence + The Machine? I've never listened to them. Did you watch the presidential debates? No. Do you ever watch Dr. Phil? No. Are you typically unattracted to people outside of your race? No; I can be attracted to any race. Have you ever ridden any animal other than a horse? No. Do you brush your hair when it’s wet? Yes. Do you eat the crusts of your bread? Yeah, I always have. Have you ever flown a kite? Yeah! At my childhood home, there was a tobacco field directly across the street, and when they weren't in season so the field was flat, Dad would help us with getting kites set up and in the air. Those are good memories. How are you for money? I don't make any money. Mom is struggling. Do you think you are more intelligent than the average person? Ha, no. Do you ever think about why we are here? Does it matter? We're here, so make the most of it. Do you like cherries? I fucking hate cherries. Name a celebrity that you admire that nobody would expect you to: Jeffree Star, probs. Can you use a yoyo? Not well, but yeah. Do you think Jenna Marbles’ videos are funny? I've actually never watched her. Do you like folk music? NOOOOOOOOO Ever had a crush on somebody of the same sex? Yes. Do you know any lesbians? Yep. Favourite member of your favourite band: I'm unfamiliar with all but Ozzy himself. And Ozzy is rad. Who’s your favourite female rapper? I don't have one. When you were younger, were you ever in a relationship with someone you now realize was way too old for you? No. Have you ever had a seizure? No. I sometimes have very, very quick spasms when I'm falling asleep that feel like what I assume a seizure would, but they barely last a second. They seriously jerk me awake, though, and are very startling. What’s the oldest man-made object you own? I dunno. Is there anything you feel like you need a break from? Not really, no. What do you hate to hear people joke about? I will actually and remorselessly deck you in the jaw if you make a joke about rape. There are other things that are absolutely forbidden joking matters for me, too. What’s the largest animal you’ve seen in the wild? Hmmm... Nothing that big, really. Maybe a whitetail deer buck? Do any of your friends or family members have strange occupations? Not to my knowledge. Have you ever been in weather so severe that you feared for your safety? Oh yeah. We've had some savage thunderstorms. What political issues are the most important to you personally? LGBTQ+ rights and just equality in general, the pro-choice movement, environmental conservation, gun control, the abolishment of poverty and homelessness... There is honestly a lot. I could keep going. Do you know anyone who doesn’t know how to cook even just simple recipes? ... Me. :x Especially now that I'm in a relationship, I really want to make a greater effort to learn. I want to prove to him I give a damn about the success of our relationship and that I'm capable of being an adult that can take part in general adult responsibilities. ^What’s stopping them from learning this basic life skill? Laziness. Forgetfulness. The fear of getting burned. What small thing makes you automatically distrust someone? I can pick up on sketchy body language from a mile away. I'm too paranoid not to. Of all the states/provinces in your country, which one is your favorite? At least from photographs I've seen, Utah appears BEAUTIFUL. That whole region of the U.S. in general. Are there any obscure foods you’ve eaten that most people have never tried? That's very unlikely. I'm far from explorative with food. When you travel to other countries, do you always try the local cuisine? I've never been outside the U.S. I would probably do that, though. I'd really want to experience the culture as thoroughly as I could. What did you do for your 19th birthday? Hell if I remember. What’s the kindest thing a total stranger has done for you? I remember as a young kid, my parents, two sisters, and I were getting food at McDonald's, and whoever was in front of us paid for our meals. Such a sweet gesture for a larger family. Have you ever used a meal kit delivery service? No, but there actually is one that I can't recall the name of that I'd like to try when I cook myself, especially getting started learning, but yeah, subscription fees. You see a lot of YouTubers get sponsored by them, if that rings a bell. Do you have any psychological issues rooted in events from your childhood? Possibly my fear of men, with my dad having been an alcoholic that had a 50/50 chance of being very angry when drunk. How organized are the files on your computer? Pretty organized, I'd say. I put stuff into folders. Would you date someone with braces? Yes? Do you ever rehearse conversations before you have them? Only always. Do you get angry at yourself or at others more often? Myself, for sure. When taking a cab, do you talk to the driver? I've never even taken a cab. Who or what greets you at the door every time you come home? Nobody, really. My cat is occasionally in the living room to see who's home, but not always because he's a lazy cat, ha ha. Do you ever chat about your favourite video games with your friends? Not really, no. I wish. Have you ever supported anyone’s Kickstarter? If so, what was it? No, bc I'm poor. Are you currently studying a language? If so, which one? No. Ever had a friend online for a long time without seeing a photo of them? Yeah. Do you carry pepper spray? No, but I want some 'cuz I'm paranoid as hell. Are you waiting on anything right now? No. Have you ever been described as shy? Is it true? Oh, always. It's absolutely true. Name something you’re a complete sucker for? Baby animals, to name one thing. Do you remember when you first went on the internet? Nope. What is one way someone could completely put you off on a first date? Arrogance/over-confidence. What about a way someone could make you like them more on a first date? Make me genuinely laugh a lot, to name one way. Are you in love right now? Not yet. I love him with our decade of history, but I need more experience as a couple before I've got the confidence to say that. Do you wanna get married anytime soon? It wouldn't be smart to. I want to be in a strong relationship for quite a few years before I want that. Have you ever kissed someone in a band? No. Has someone ever made you a Build-A-Bear? No but oh my fucking god I wish!!!!!! Did your mom or dad ever put soap in your mouth? No, but Mom would threaten to. What was the last fruit you ate? Well, I had strawberry yogurt earlier today. Who was the last person to make you laugh? Girt. He is very, very good at that. Have you ever dated someone with more piercings than you? No. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Hell yeah man. Is there one night of your life you wish had never happened? I wish it hadn't happened the way it did. Do you have a close relationship with your sibling(s)? No. What was the last thing that you shared? Some watermelon Sour Patch Kids with my mom. Do you think people talk behind your back? You couldn't get me to believe my mom doesn't at least sometimes to my sisters even if you tried your absolute damnedest. In real life do you laugh like ‘haha,’ 'hehe’ or something else? It depends on what I'm laughing at/at what intensity. Do you have any unusual skills? Nah. Who’s your favourite person? I don't have a sole favorite person. I love many people in different ways for varying reasons. Are there any chores you actually enjoy doing? No. When did you last have an "Oh, I get it now!" moment? Watching Attack on Titan yesterday w/ Girt. Have your parents ever suspected something untrue about you? My mom HAD to have suspected I was doing something FAR worse than innocent meerkat RP to have borderline fucking traumatized me invading my privacy and forcing shit out of me regarding what I was always doing on the computer so secretively. Like I get it, she was a concerned mother, but I was a fucking WRECK because I found it so embarrassing. It was insulting that she didn't trust her well-behaved daughter. What do you think about video games? They're great for both the creators and consumers. They're wonderful expressions of creativity, and so much fun to experience as a player, delving into a new world and getting engrossed in the story. I could go onnnn and onnnnn about what video games mean to me. I've gone my whole life as a loyal gamer. Are there any forms of Art you personally find pointless? I really, really don't get a lot of abstract art that's worth fucking thousands, BUT, I absolutely disagree that they are without purpose. The artist created what they did for SOME reason. As a distraction, a method of expressing emotion, to convey an idea... Are you tired right now? I have been SO ridiculously tired today. Like it's unreal. I've taken I wanna say three naps and I'm still sleepy. What’s something you do a lot? Drink something. I'm not talking about alcohol; just in general, I ALWAYS need some kind of drink by me, and I go through drinks pretty quickly. Are you currently on any other websites? Yeah, I'm watching YouTube. Are you good at using Photoshop? I'm decent, I guess. Have you ever been told you naturally tilt your head a certain way? Yes, actually, at least by my mom, and she's right. My head tends to tilt VERY slightly to the right, and I can tell by how easy it is to bend my head that way as opposed to left. I'll feel a biiiit more strain.