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#i am capitalizing letters again
darkleloog · 9 days
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NO.
OK THAT'S ALL, WHAT THE HELL, I DON'T INSULT ANYONE NOR DO I INTEND TO DO IT, IT'S RP, SEND THAT BUNCH OF TEXT IN A COPY PASTE OF THE FIRST RESULT THAT APPEARED I THOUGHT "hehe, Alex will very upset with Darkle, Darkle wants to win that position as Alex's enemy." AND I TOOK A RANDOM PIECE OF ALL THE LOTS OF TEXT THAT WAS PUT THERE. I don't understand it, I didn't want to offend anyone.
THEN IT'S MISUNDERSTOOD AND THEY SAY: "oh, this guy is an INCREDIBLE idiot" And I try to tell them calmly: "ahem, no. This is just rp, I would never do that."
(This is a completely idiotic topic and taken in an immature way by me) Oh, and you'll think: "nah, nah, nah, he's just trying to defend himself from what this monster really is."
NO.
STOP. WTH, NO.
Darkle: GCBC DID YOU BLOCK ME?? Thank you, I love you too.
UUUHHHHG, THIS TEXT LOOKS SO WEIRD WITH ALL CAPS-
Well, whatever. THE CREATION OF THIS ACCOUNT WAS TO CREATE HATE TOWARDS DARKLE, HE IS THE ANTAGONIST
While I was writing all this I was thinking: "this text looks so bad, it's going to look like I'm EXCUSING myself" NO, NO, NO.
What a shame all this is
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OH YEAH, I BLOCKED GCBC FOR A LITTLE WHILE IN THE FORM OF: "no, now, stop, I don't want to get in trouble, I don't want to have to do THIS TEXT." And it only got worse, bad choice. MY FAULT, my fault, ik, it's my fault, I'm sorry.
At the end of that pile of text I put " /j " because I didn't want that to be misunderstood, and you will say: "why didn't you put in small print that it is not serious to insult? IT LOOKED BAD, FROM MY POINT OF VIEW IT LOST GRACE, RATHER, GRACE FROM DARKLE'S POINT OF VIEW, I really wanted to make it look like Darkle was the one who wrote it, NOT ME.
Ok, this is already a lot to read, GCBC, sorry to tell you so late, but, do you remember that time I made an Alex bot and you told me:
" AI is theft, and also a HORRIBLE resource guzzler. If you care at all about the hard work that *real people* put into honing their crafts, or the environment, you'll stay well away from this nonsense. "
(Yes, I copied the text)
Again, SORRY!! AI is crap if you ask me, but I really wanted to do something different. I didn't dare tell you.
Finally the text ends here.
Postscript: This blog is the blog of an antagonist. I thought: "an antagonist is needed in an rp"
I've put humor here because I don't even like reading things written with so much "Capital letters? Seriousness?"
That's it, it doesn't matter. IT'S OVER, RIGHT?
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v-tired-queer · 6 months
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THIS IS THE LAST TIME I'M GIVING UP ICE CREAM FOR LENT. THE LAST TIME.
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corvidcall · 2 years
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there's a podcast i like thats focused on leftist theory through a christian lens (which i just think is really interesting, given how many christians you meet that are loudly anti-communist and for some reason are convinced jesus would love capitalism) and i just saw a tweet thread they made saying that, for Lent, they want to give up the US blockade against Cuba (so theyre spending the next 40 days writing letters to biden and their local reps and encouraging others to do the same)
i am delighted i bought all those stamps at costco because i am gonna be writing some goddamn letters to our dumbfuck government
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pebblezone · 2 years
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Living life yay huzzah yay
#a#I have beef with my school. am I happy here? absolutely. do I think we are beyond lame for not having an actual guy? 100%#letters don’t count!!!!!!!! having a capital letter for your school doesn’t count!!!!!!!!!!#like it’s not even a complete absence of a team no just like a silly little physical guy than runs across the field#and can be all cute on stuff on shirts and be stuffed animals it’s the marketing potential they’re missing out on#though I guess I’d rather have no physical dude than one which sucks complete ass I’m talking about pen state fuck that guy#I need to watch the gnomes again wait oh my fucking god I was thinking like damn I did the gnomeo juliet ace attorney moment#but my brain is knee deep in hellsing so idk how to connect them but bruh every piece of media has some form of rivals#I’m not emotionally invested in andercard but the idea of Catholic and Protestant gnomes is really funny#and they’re already British!! lovely!!! at some point in college I need to use gnomes for a grade I can’t let that be a high school only bit#did you know that gnomeo and Juliet is technically owned by Disney? add that to your marvel cinematic universe#oh gnomeo and Juliet poster we’re really in it now#did you know that the version of hello hello that’s in the movie featuring lady Gaga is not on streaming services? they take lady Gaga out#it’s really unfortunate the echos and duet aspect make the song it’s not just one or the other it’s Two Gnomes!!#have two exam grades back that I have not looked at out of fear#either they’ll be bad and I’ll watch hellsing to make myself feel better Or they’ll be good and I’ll watch hellsing as a reward#unrelated but it looks like a gutter on the other side of my dorm got busted and I’m trying to figure out if it’s always been like that#maybe it has and I’m not a gutter glorifier like I thought I was…. rip observational skills#I have a group project I have to work on and it’s evil I do not enjoy the class and it’s not very lgbt slay girlboss of me#but god dammit I am not filling out a fucking gender unicorn for your class that’s between me and my tumblr drafts from 2019#it gets a credit out of the way and I never have to take it again I am so strong#man what does it say about society that I’m more excited about Econ than wgs (it says nothing the Econ professor is just goofy and fun)#(also he does more than read off of slides and show those like buzzfeed social experiments)#but none of that is important since next week is when things get fucked and I’ll end up with more free time! yay strikes!!#update: made it back from project zone those fuckers held me hostage using social norms#it’s okay though I’m sooo strong and brave#talkingcore
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eddy-vents · 9 months
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I FUCKING HATE HER I HATE HER SO MUCH
STOP FUCKING TALKING ABOUT THAT PLEASE I FUCKING CANT HEAR YOU SAY IT AGAIN
I WANT TO FUCKING DO EVERYTHING SHES DONE TO ME RIGHT BACK TO HER
I CANT FUCKING DO THIS ANYMORE
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enyasaints · 2 months
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I finally received my employers position statement…
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Normally they only have a month maybe two to provide a position statement. It has been six months LATER. I haven’t had the heart to read it. I know it will be filled with gaslighting and lies and it will reopen old wounds I’ve spent months trying to medicate. I hate reliving my repeated sexual assault and how powerless I felt against it. Knowing that poverty and homelessness would be on the horizon if I said anything. When I finally tried to speak up I was dismissed and ignored and ultimately terminated in such a humiliating way. Only to be thrusted into this type of job economy where it is difficult to find work. I have been struggling financially ever since I don’t deserve that. I never deserved any of it
Direct Aid:
For those that don’t know. A position statement is a company response basically refuting all charges they recieved through the EEOC. You have to provide a rebuttal proving that the company was lying. It is incredibly traumatic having to prove wrong doing. Having to relive the awful things that happened to you. While trying to raise money for a lawyer to defend you.
I have taken time off crowdfunding because I’m easily discouraged and I was barely gaining traction. No matter what I do I have no reach, and I have tried EVERYTHING. I truly have. I tried livestreaming on three different platforms, I tried making TikToks, I tried tweeting, I tried begging rich people on twitter, nothing works. I cannot stress enough I cannot do this alone. I don’t have a social media prescence nor social media capital. I am trying to have one but it’s incredibly difficult to build quickly. I cannot raise this money if I don’t have people advocating for me. Even if you can’t donate. Posting my link in a company email, on your facebook, tiktok, reddit anywhere makes a world of a difference. Using your skills to promote my GFM. If you draw or make edits that also can help. Anything can help me. Scrolling past just kills me. So please. PLEASE. Do something. Even if its just interacting on this very post. Commenting, sharing, liking. PLEASE. If I don’t raise emough for a lawyer, when I get the letter of right to sue, it gives me 90 days to find a lawyer. If I don’t my case gets thrown out and I never get justice. I can never sue them again.
Deadline for Lawyer:
August 17th, 2024
Currently Raised:
$410/$15000
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emmyrosee · 1 year
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Kita shinsuke gets confused after you start dating.
It’s not like it’s been a long time, far from it, but you felt so comfortable in his everyday life that he stops thinking too hard about your interactions.
You reach for his hand, he takes it. You shiver, he gives you his jacket. You’re hungry, he shares his snacks.
He gives you a compliment, you… hate him?
You must. There it is, in capital letters under his own blue text: OFBEOD KITAAAA I HATE YOU FRRR😭😭
His heart races as he rereads the text over and over again, unsure of what he could’ve possibly said to have you say ‘I hate you.’
Whatever it is, he needs to find a way to apologize.
The idea of upsetting you in a way he barely understands is concerning, it makes him extremely saddened, and he picks up his pace to get to practice.
He’s sure there’s someone there that can help him decipher your distress.
Leave it to the two twins, tying their shoes in sync, to be the first ones to notice his stress.
“Kita-San?” Osamu asks, brows furrowing. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” atsumu continues. “You’re late- you’re NEVER late.”
“And you look like you’re about to upchuck.”
Lovely.
“Osamu, Atsumu,” he says, breath shaky as the twins turn to look up at him. “You’re… familiar with relationships, yes?”
“Well he’s been single since birth-“
“HEY!”
“-but I’ve got a little bit of knowledge. What’s up?”
Kita gnaws on his lip before he passes the phone to the grey haired twin, showing him your sudden outburst of hatred towards him. Osamu quirks a confused brow as his eyes glaze over the text, the blonde twin quickly popping on his feet to peer over Osamu’s shoulder to read along.
Osamu flicks his eyes from his phone up to Kita, “what am I looking at?”
“She hates me,” he says, a frightened lilt in his tone. “And I don’t know what I do. I don’t know what I did,or said, or how I can fix this. And I…” he takes a breath in to calm down, “I need your help.”
Osamu stays silent for a bit, and atsumu cracks a cheesy smile, “cap… you didn’t do anything.”
“Huh?”
“You didn’t do anything- this is just… how some girls act,” osamu explains, and kita feels his cheeks warm up from the sudden crowd that’s gathered.
“Are we teaching Kita-San something now?” Suna teases, peering over Osamu’s shoulder to read the message. “Teaching him about giiiiiirls.”
And shinsuke wants to say something back, about how he knows girls and he doesn’t need to be taught anything…
But maybe he does.
Osamu takes a small breath in before passing his captain’s phone back to him, “sometimes, girls are just… uhm….”
“Aggressive?” He asks, and Akagi chuckles behind him.
“No,” Osamu hums thoughtfully. “I would probably say more… excited than guys, and it makes them kinda wanna… be… ferocious?”
“Feral?” Suna chimes in.
“Buck wild?”
“How about all of the above,” Aran says easily.
Kita quirks a brow, “so she doesn’t actually hate me?”
“No! She’s just excited that you complimented her, I think.”
“Yeah Kita-San,” Atsumu chuckles. “Girls only say they hate you when they love you; that’s like. A thing.”
“They also bite,” Akagi cuts in. “For… some reason.”
“They BITE?”
“I’ve been smacked so many times,” Aran playfully laments, and Shinsuke’s head whips towards him, only to make the ace shrug, “what? She’ll get excited to see you, or something good happens, and she just. Smacks your arms. It doesn’t always hurt.”
“What do you mean ALWAYS!” Shinsuke is suddenly extremely nervous about whether he received a girlfriend… or a pitbull.
“Or she’ll bite you,” Suna hums.
“Or says she hates you,” the twins circle back. At seeing their captains new nerves, they rise to their feet to clap him on the back.
“You’ll be fine, cap,” the blonde assures. “It’ll catch you by surprise, sure.”
“May be a little painful,” osamu snorts.
Atsumu snickers, “but you’ve liked her for a long time. And if it’s too much, you tell her to stop.” He nods before turning on his heel and mumbling a soft ‘hell knows you’re good at that,’ under his breath.
The conversation makes Shinsuke… convinced. He’s sure that there’s minimal that you can do to upset him, even if these methods of love lean far into the unconventional. He gnaws at his lip as the crowd disperses, golden eyes glazing over the contents once more.
He cracks a small smile, taking a soft breath in and letting his fingers take over typing and saying everything he could want to say in just a few words.
SENT I love you, too :)
You reply with an absolute jumble of words and praises, capitals and random emojis. He smiles before planting his phone in his bag and heading out to practice, feeling it buzz more than a few times in his pocket.
Maybe a few well intentioned bite marks wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen to him.
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etheralisi · 8 months
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I’ve been thinking about in-universe media so. Heh. Why don’t we tumblrify the ending of the rottmnt movie
Update: here’s part 2 and 3+3.5
💫silent_swirl Follow
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Nice knowing you guys
🥐ittybittyypastrypuff Follow
Wtf??? Where do you live?
⏱️lordoftimeandspace Follow
You can’t just ask someone where they live
💰rhymeonthedime Follow
op must be from new york. i’ve been trying to text my sister who lives there all day and when she finally gets back to me, it’s to send me a photo of her being chased by some weird??? fleshy???? car? i think the pink stuff was growing inside of it?
🥐ittybittyypastrypuff Follow
The hell is happening in your city?
🔥guess-ill-die Follow
The end of the world
🐛lugbugg Follow
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🎙️do-re-mimimi Follow
Where else would you learn that?
14,056 notes
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🚀jj-sails Follow
Alien invasion???? This is not how Jupiter Jim said it would go
267 notes
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🦙dramallama Follow
So who had alien invasion on the 2020 apocalypse bingo card
🤠see-you-in-space-cowboy Follow
At this point no one is surprised 
#give it two months. somehow something will find a way to top this
12,435 notes
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⚔️ bluejitsu Follow
I lived bitch
🌑faded-moonlight Follow
Context?
⚔️ bluejitsu Follow
No ✨
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🎨 asprinkleofrazzmatazz Follow
Sorry everyone  ::> ︵ <:: No more art until my hands are healed up. Doctor’s orders
🧸bear-with-me Follow
Are you okay? 🥺🥺💞
🎨 asprinkleofrazzmatazz Follow
♡ ♡ Achy. But I realllllly want to drawwwwwww
#I have so many ideas right now #currently trying and failing to draw with feet #but I am determined 
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👾aliens-among-us Follow
Time to storm Area 51 again
#they can’t stop all of us #look I just want to see aliens in person okay #if they can’t invade my city then what’s the point #I know they have to be keeping some of those pink blobs in there
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🟦 outoftouchoutoftime Follow
Hello
🏒 hockeyordeath Follow
JUNIOR! HELLO
I SEE YOU HAVE DISCOVERED THE INTERNET
🟦 outoftouchoutoftime Follow
It’s Sensei’s fault
⚔️ bluejitsu Follow
#I?????? #don’t just look at me it was purple too
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🛸 atomiclass9000 Follow
I smell the scent of betrayal in the air.
#not science posting #blue I’m looking at you
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✍️writingprompts Follow
You are a time traveller sent back to stop the apocalypse before it ever began. Only problem is: you aren’t sent back far enough.
🟦 outoftouchoutoftime Follow
Relatable 
💥zipzapzoom Follow
Umm???
4,522 notes
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🕜has-lou-jitsu-been-found-yet Follow
Day 3667 of me posting: no
🪽angelofhell Follow
Wow this blog is dedicated
101 notes
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🐝 dizzee-bee Follow
Why do aliens always invade NYC? What’s so special? Why don’t they ever invade Las Vegas huh? What about Boston? Where are my aliens in D.C? So many cities and you’re telling me they chose New York? If aliens really did invade I bet you they wouldn’t even come near it
🐝 dizzee-bee Follow
This post… aged
🐾 ultimate_cataclysm  Follow
Pay up op
1,356 notes
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🦊redfoxtrott Follow
there’s something weird going on in this city. remember that time at the stadium? suddenly it’s a free for all on world domination i swear
🪩glitter-jam Follow
I thought the whole stadium thing was a publicity stunt
👋saysayonara Follow
I thought that was a rogue cosplayer 
#for real though. What even happened to them?
11,388 notes
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🌎yes-the-earth-is-flat Follow
Wow. So tumblr thinks it can gaslight me int thinking aliens exits huh? Well think again
🌎yes-the-earth-is-flat Follow
Stop bringing up my username. You know im right
2,488 notes
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🏒 hockeyordeath Follow
NO, MY KEYBOARD IS NOT STUCK LIKE THIS. EVERY LETTER I TYPE IS AS IT IS MEANT TO BE SAID. WITH PURPOSE AND VOLUME.
🏒 hockeyordeath Follow
IF MY USERNAME COULD BE IN CAPITALS YOU KNOW IT WOULD BE 
🛸 atomiclass9000 Follow
I can help with this
#give me one minute and some flavourless juice
122 notes
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💃disco-girl Follow
My apartment was almost flattened by a giant freakin robot a few years back. And now aliens????? I’m moving
#guys I’m just. So. Done with all of this
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🎙️do-re-mimimi Follow
So did the aliens just up and leave? What’s the story here?
🎩man-with-a-top-hat Follow
There have been various sightings of lights across the sky. I have not been able to find any reliable sources on the cause, but the general consensus is the lights pushed the aliens back where they came from. 
🦇batarang Follow
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This photo of some person swinging around the city has been making rounds on twitter
🐚seashellsshesells Follow
Pretty lights and vigilantes? 
5,993 notes
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❌cant-think-of-a-user Follow
So what are we calling these aliens? They need a cool, alien sounding name ‘cuz all I’ve been seeing around is ‘land squids’, ‘brain goop’ and shoutout to that one discord user who used the words ‘pink gelatinous parsnip’ to describe them.
👊punch-moodi Follow
Have they ever seen a parsnip before?
🤏deadly-nerve-pinch Follow
What about Utroms? They kinda look like the aliens from Jupiter Jim’s Last Trip to the Moon 9
❌cant-think-of-a-user Follow
Isn’t your fandom super dead?
🤏deadly-nerve-pinch Follow
Say that to our 80+ movies. Your faves could never 
🚀jj-sails Follow
Fandom still going strong 💪 
🍎almond-apple Follow
Why does everyone keep on calling them aliens? Are we sure they’re not just failed government test subjects? Haven’t there been mutant sightings in NYC before?
❌cant-think-of-a-user Follow
Sorry, mutants???
👾aliens-among-us Follow
Nah it’s defo aliens
❌cant-think-of-a-user Follow
#so far 3 votes for Utroms and 22 for parsnips #sigh
3,751 notes
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🫎duck-duck-moose Follow
Children are terrifying 
💤needsomezzzzzzz Follow
Agreed. But I feel like there’s a story here
🫎duck-duck-moose Follow
Was walking back from work, and I was like nearly home right? I turn a corner and there: a sea of cheering girl scouts. Who are they cheering on you ask? Their… cult (?) leader? Tearing one of those aliens apart with her bare hands. And the kids are just laughing and some are even joining in? They must have nerves of steel
💤needsomezzzzzzz Follow
Woah
🌽 sherlock_corn Follow
@  HOCKEYORDEATH Hey look at this
372 notes
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💀outoftouchoutoftime Follow
Set a profile picture because apparently everyone’s blocking me thinking I’m a bot?
🥊 red_hotsoup Follow
Sorry CJ
9 notes
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asprinkleofrazzmatazz said: Spread the sunshine ☀️ Post this in at least 5 ask boxes to let them know they make you happy
🥊 red_hotsoup Follow
Aww, hey Orange
⚔️ bluejitsu Follow
Hey, where’s my ask
⚔️ bluejitsu Follow
Orange?
⚔️ bluejitsu Follow
Oh 
10 notes
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asprinkleofrazzmatazz said: Spread the bugs 🪳 Post this in at least 5 ask boxes to let them know they’re bugging you
⚔️ bluejitsu Follow
Two can play at this game
🎨asprinkleofrazzmatazz Follow
Jk ☀️☀️☀️
29 notes
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🛸 atomiclass9000 Follow
I remember the good old days on tumblr. Back when my brothers didn’t know the name of my account. Back when they didn’t bug me in my inbox
🍞shortbutsweetbread Follow
Then make another one?
🛸 atomiclass9000 Follow
Gasp. And leave behind a username such as this? I’m attached.
🌽 sherlock_corn Follow
What about your sister?
🛸 atomiclass9000 Follow
You’re fine
⚔️ bluejitsu Follow
Favouritism 
128 notes
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🐱sophinophie Follow
Whoever you heroes are
Thank you.  
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❤️🧡💜💙
#I don’t know how you did it. Or what you even look like #but one thing is for sure and that’s that you are heroes 
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mcondance · 24 days
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lovely
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“You say things with your mouth, cobwebs and flies come out / I hear a second voice behind your tongue somehow / Luckily, I can read your mind, flies and cobwebs unwind / They will not take you down, They will not cast you out”
Or, you’re fine. And whatever other words hide behind those four letters. Spencer sees what a piece of you wants to hide from him.
notes fluff (mcondance writes fluff??) but still MDNI, reader is neurodivergent this is for my baby girls (audhd spencer reid kissers), inspired by those lyrics from lovely by twenty øne piløts, do not listen while you read. this is what having a dual tøp-spencer reid era does to a writer. gif from pinterest. also guys please i’ve been experimenting with layouts for my works for like… months now if this layout is ugly just ignore it please please. mcondance capitalizes ?!
word count 1.1k+ (closer to 1.2k hello i am proud)
You lie still on your back in the middle of the bed as you watch Spencer close the door and set his cardigan down on the chair by the dresser. He floats through the dim room, momentarily lit up by the interludes of soft moonlight wafting through the windows. He takes his place beside the bed. Your music pauses.
“You okay?” He asks quietly.
“I’m fine.”
You’re lying. Spencer knows you’re lying; it wouldn’t take a genius to deduce that. It’s in your voice, most obviously. But it’s in the other details that only Spencer would notice, too. Not because he’s a genius, but because he’s your Spencer. 
The room is dark. Which wouldn’t be much of a problem, if you didn’t sound so bleak and tired when you spoke. You have your big headphones on, which, again, wouldn’t be so bad if you’d have pulled one back when he walked in, or even just told him that the song’s almost at the good part, and then after it hits you’ll take them off.
The room is bathed in moonlight. The moon, and your Spencer. Two shoulders for you to lean on. Three, actually, with the music you were just listening to. 
But all of the shoulders just aren’t enough to block out the bad feelings you’re having right now.
Overwhelmed. Sad. A little depressed. Whatever. 
“I don't think so, honey,” Spencer speaks softly from where he stands in a split of moonlight, hands in his pockets as he shrugs.
He glows in a silver streak. You sniffle. Fuck.
He allows silence to ensue, obviously giving you time to get your thoughts together. The bed dips to the left as he sits down beside you and props his leg up. A part of you wants to laugh at the common knowledge that if you had the will to look down you’d see an interesting sock and a Converse, but you don’t have the energy to do anything but what you’ve been doing since you let your playlist roll into its fifth run— lay down and alternate between staring out into the blackness of your room and the backs of your eyelids.
“It’s nothing,” you obfuscate. But it’s obviously not nothing.
Again, he lets his silence give you comfort instead of pushing you to talk. You take it gratefully, as it gives you the time you need to collect yourself and try to put words to what’s going on in your head and all under your skin.
You breathe in.
“I'm just… irritated.”
You breathe out.
A bit of weight lifts off of your chest at your short admission, but the elephant in the room continues to perch tall and proud on you, crushing you and leaving very little room for you to exist.
Still, Spencer is silent. The quiet puffs of his breath and the dip in the mattress are enough. Anything else would be too much, and he knows that. So he lets you lead him into the dark with you, he stays still and lets you guide him into the cavernous deep of all that you feel right now.
The fan whirs and cars pass outside the window. The stillness of the night almost laughs at the chaos ensuing in you.
Another breath, deeper this time as you gather the courage to try to express what it is you’re feeling.
“I don't know,” you blurt. “Everything's just too loud and my friends are all annoying and nothing on YouTube is interesting and I feel like I'm gonna explode and crumble all at the same time.” Those tears are bubbling up under the surface of your skin again and threatening to spill out of your eyes. 
And now that you’ve spoken and some of the tension in the air has dissipated, Spencer feels it’s appropriate for him to talk.
“It’s okay, baby. You’ve been working a lot lately without many breaks and now you’ve run out of steam, and that’s okay. It happens. You’re just burnt out.”
Horribly, his sweet words inflame a mean, hot part of you. You scoff, finding the strength to wipe a stray tear as it falls. Spencer knows you don’t mean it, that something up in your brain has just had enough and is now denying you of any feeling but solitary petrification.
Burnout. You hate that word. You wish it didn’t happen to you. You wish that you were normal and being stressed didn’t mean paralysis and staring at the ceiling like it’ll change and morph into an answer or a semblance of comfort. 
In the dark, you strain your eyes at his form. You can just barely make out the wisps of hair flying in all directions away from his face. His posture is terrible. You can tell he’s looking off to the side of you so you won’t feel overwhelmed under his eyes. Perhaps he was made for you.
The air softens, and you do too. The facade of anger slips away as quickly as it reared its ugly head. You take a shuddering breath and let your head fall towards him.
He moves closer and a beam of moonlight illuminates him as he takes you in with warmth etched onto the comfort of his face.
Something up in your brain has just had enough and is now denying you of any feeling but solitary petrification. 
Fortunately, Spencer won’t let that happen. 
How grateful you are for this man who won’t let you get the aloneness that some tired part of you craves. He’ll stick beside you and sit in silence for hours upon hours if it meant you wouldn’t feel alone. He has done that before. He’d do it again in a heartbeat.
With him smiling softly at you even in your cocoon of darkness, that sweet quirk of his lips that is ever-present when he’s looking at you, you feel a little better. Now, he can touch you. Before that thought even registers, he reaches out for your knee and rests his hand there, rubbing his thumb up and down over your skin.
It doesn’t cross the line of overstimulation, and it doesn’t feel like not enough. It’s just enough. Spencer can read you as well as the surplus of books he reads daily. There’s no push to get up, to take your headphones off or turn the light on.
Spencer wants only for you to breathe, and to know that he is here. When he hears your breathing become easy again, and he feels just a bit more of the discord you’re swathed in slip off of you, he knows you know.
His hand on your knee won’t nurse you back to your functioning form. And it’s not what he’s striving to do. 
And as you look through the darkness into his moon-bathed eyes, you know you’ll have him here with you every step of the way, by some divine power that put him in your life. And that’s okay. You won’t be okay for a while, but you have him to lean on. You’ll always have him to lean on. You feel the love he has for you radiating off of him, pushing into your skin as he caresses it slowly.
Getting out of bed sometime later sounds a little easier, now.
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luveline · 2 years
Text
𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲 | 𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
part one | part two | part three | part four
summary you’re a single mom living three trailers down. eddie thinks you’re the prettiest girl he’s ever seen. queue the movies, nachos, cherry cough syrup, and a couple of moments of clarity. [10k]
warnings teen mom!reader, fem!reader, r is junie’s birth mother, fluff, hurt/comfort, eddie being a total girl dad (<3), mutual pining, yearning etc, tw for not having much money, general mom struggles :(, slowburn friends to lovers, idiots in love!!! tw sick fic
𓆩❤︎𓆪
Eddie has the most peculiar curl tucked up by his neck. Where most are frizzy and loose, this one falls in a perfect shiny ringlet below his ear. He shifts and it's out of view, a curtain of dark hair falling forward and hiding his face as he puts your car in park. 
"Remind me why you had to drive?" you ask, ducking down to look at the glaring white lights of the movie theatre across the street. 
"You were gonna fall asleep behind the wheel." 
For once, Eddie might not be exaggerating. He grins at your lack of rebuttal and throws an arm behind your shoulders, twisting in the driver's seat to set his sights on Junie. 
"Are you ready?" he asks her. 
She wiggles. It's an ecstatic movement. Her clothes are prim and sweet if you do say so yourself, a long sleeved shirt under a pair of the world's cutest dungarees. They crinkle as she moves, pressed to perfection. 
You and Eddie open opposite doors in tandem and step out into the brisk, early night. The sidewalk shines with rain, a black slickness stretching in every direction. You shiver and pull your thin jacket tighter to your torso as you turn back to the car, intending to retrieve Junie and rush into the theatre before you can freeze on the spot. 
Eddie's already swung open the door and rescued your daughter from the confines of her car seat, neatening up the hem of one of her socks with her face pushed over his shoulder. 
She giggles about something and Eddie says, "Sorry, June. 'M tickling you, am I?" so fondly you have to avert your eyes. 
He locks the car and hands over your keys with a smile. You smile back, heart flipping like a spinning coin. Head over tails, over and over. 
The big, ring-heavy hand he holds to Junie's back reaches for you suddenly enough that you flinch.
"I'm sorry," he apologises, suppressing a laugh, "your necklace is twisted." 
He moves in a second time and you raise your chin, chest aflame as his fingers glance off of your bare skin. He slips the chain over his index and pulls, encouraging the links around until the clasp is hidden again. 
"Thank you." You huff an awkward, sheepish laugh.
"You owe me," he says, mock-severe. 
Your laugh is much more genuine as you follow him across the road. 
You're squinting as you approach The Hawk movie theatre. The title cards are hard to look at, aggressively white with black capital letters that read, 'The Great Mouse Detective 7'. 
There's a small line of families waiting by the front. You realise it like a shock, that the three of you must look like a family too. 
Eddie carries Junie with the surety of a dad that's carried his child a hundred times before; he strokes the back of her head with the affection of one, soothing the mess of flyaways she'd acquired by squirming in her car seat. Junie responds with familiarity, hands tucked into his hair and tugging. She's trying to be nice but his hair won't allow it, all his long curls tangled at the ends from a day at work. 
Still, he says, "Thanks, baby. Make sure you get the back, okay?" 
"Okay," she echoes. 
You look down at your wringing hands. There's ink smudged up the side of your writing hand. You scratch at it half-heartedly, blinking against your fatigue. 
You're exhausted tonight and it's only Wednesday. You can't imagine how you'll fare tomorrow considering how little sleep you're expecting tonight — there are a thousand things to do when you get home. Laundry to wash and press, cleaning to do, dinner to make. 
You'd been writing cheques for due bills when Eddie had come knocking, well-dressed, stupid-handsome, and announced that tonight you would be accompanying him to the movies. He'd actually said 'accompanying'. 
Despite a full agenda, you'd said yes. You're not very good at saying no. At least, not to him. 
It takes you a moment to realise you're at the front of the line. You pay for the tickets before Eddie can try it, and with his hands full he can't really stop you. He whines about it all the way to the concession stand. 
"You can buy the snacks," you say. His face lights up, and you amend, "If you're reasonable." 
"I'm always reasonable…ly over the top," he says, chided by your hard stare. 
"Yes, you are." 
He follows you down the two steps to the concession and cuts in front of you. "How did you do that? What face was that? I felt my soul leave my body." 
"That's my disapproving mom look. I'm disapproving." 
"Ah." He pats Junie's side sympathetically. 
She pulls her head from over his shoulder and smiles at you. Her arms vy for your hold. You steal her from Eddie and kiss her all over her tiny face, uplifted by how much she loves you, how happy she is to be in your arms. 
"What snacks do you want? Do you eat popcorn with butter? Without?" Eddie asks, his newly emptied arms already posed thoughtfully, a hand under his chin as he thinks over his options. 
The theatre has a huge array of jellies, an even bigger array of candy bars. There are more brands of soda than there are glasses in your kitchen cabinet. 
You're daunted. 
"Whatever you want," you say.
Eddie groans and tips his head back. "Don't play with me like this. Butter or no butter? It's an easy question." 
"I don't know. Without?" 
"You are so weird," he says happily. 
You pout and pull Junie closer. 
Standing at the side while he gathers concessions, too many things, you watch in awe as Eddie stacks it all against his chest with the sure confidence of someone who's done it before.
He grins at you from between two huge cups. "Are we ready?"
If you could, you'd leave him here in the foyer with his jumbo deluxe popcorn. As it stands, you like him too much to leave him behind. You juggle Junie and your bag to push open the doors for him outside of screen two. 
"Thanks, babe," he says outside of screen two. You bite your lip, surprised by his easy tone. 
You climb up the stairs and into your seats. You're high enough for Junie to sit in her own chair between you and Eddie and see the screen comfortably but she adamantly refuses, stretching out in your lap like an alley cat hungry for affection. 
Eddie moves into the ragtag velvet seat beside you, a million things in his lap and at your feet. He's pretty enough under the theatre lights to dull the panging ache at the back of your head. "If she won't sit here, I will. I got you a lemonade, is that cool?" 
If it weren't you'd hardly tell him. 
"She's being extremely well-behaved," Eddie notes, an inkling of pride in his tone. 
You could sucker punch him. Why does he do this to you? 
"I know," you say with a shy smile, "it's suspicious, isn't it?" 
"I don't know. If I were in your lap I might be well-behaved too." He raises his eyebrows, an over-exaggerated show of flirtatiousness. 
You reach over the arm to take a handful of popcorn. Eyes on Junie, you offer her your stolen goods and say, "I've got two thighs." 
"Don't tempt me." 
Junie all but snatches the popcorn and tilts her head back. A kernel falls from her hand and disappears between the seats. You make a mental note to pick it up afterward, ears full of her chomping. 
You'd worried she might be a little loud for the movies but there's a bunch of kids and none seem keen on keeping quiet, a cacophony of childish complaints to hide your conversation. 
"Are babies supposed to eat popcorn?" 
You freeze up. "Oh- I don't know," you say, turning Junie toward you so you can watch her swallow. 
"I thought I read that somewhere, but-" 
"No, I think you're right. Um…" Junie looks at you with obvious confusion. "Was that yummy?" you ask. You hide your concern with a strained bubbly attentiveness. 
"I guess she's old enough." 
Eddie's being very casual – it is casual. He's just thinking out loud. You know he's not criticising you. He never has, though sometimes you think he should. 
It must show on your face anyhow that you're having a 'I'm a bad mom' crisis. A mean stroke of insecurity.
"Sweetheart," Eddie says suddenly, brows pinched, "it's alright. It was just a thought. And she had no problem eating it, I'm sure she's gonna be aces. Better than aces." 
Junie climbs out of your lap and into his. He sets the popcorn on the floor to take her, and when her hands reach for his drink he holds the straw to her mouth. All the while his eyes move between her and you. 
"Okay," you say, because you're being silly. 
Junie is fine. Eddie was only saying something that's very well true. Babies aren't supposed to have popcorn, but June's not a baby, really. She knows how to chew properly. It's unlikely she'll choke. 
Eddie has to keep his focus on her to avoid getting soaked – she barely knows how to use a straw and keeps trying to turn the cup upside down. 
"Not like that, trouble. Right way up. You got it." 
You pick at the loose stitching at the end of your shirt and have to change the subject before the embarrassment of it all swallows you. Such a small thing. 
"Can I try one of these?" you ask, grabbing the first bag of candy you can find. They're a bag of Super Sour Suckers. 
He looks at you over Junie's head, startled and hiding it poorly. Then, a smile so bright it increases the embarrassment you're feeling tenfold.
"You have to! Robin said they're even worse than the normal ones, I don't wanna go through that alone," he says urgently. 
Robin is one of his friends. You're not jealous that he has friends (though you are, because you want your own, but not jealous that he has friends that aren't you). He's mentioned her in passing before. When you'd asked as bravely as you dared if they were anything more than friends he'd laughed maniacally.
"We're definitely just friends," he'd said.
You fight to stay smiling and pull open the bag of candies. Ironically, the jellies inside are shaped like pacifiers. Covered in sugar packed densely and looking almost wet with what you suspect to be citric acid, you shake the packet wearily and search for a candy that won't ruin your tongue.
Eddie holds out his hand. You drop a green one into his palm. Your fingertips ride up the curve of his thumb. 
He's unflinching as he eats it. After a few seconds his eyes screw up and he clutches June tight to his chest, raising an unhelpful hand to his jaw. 
"Holy sugar," he says, wincing. 
You bite into a pink pacifier unfortunately layered in sugar and wait nervously for the sourness to kick in. Sure enough, it comes quick and torturous. It's a knife cutting through fog. 
It's hard to feel tired when there's something this sour in your mouth.
"You can't spit it out!" Eddie says.
You stop with your hand halfway to your mouth. "What?" you ask incredulously, trying not to dribble. 
"You gotta eat it! Chew and swallow!" 
You chew miserably. He laughs at your expression – a warm and hyper sound, practically giggling. Junie joins in as she always does. His joy can't be overstated. 
The lights go down while you're still fighting for your life. Your eyes water and you have to smother the taste with a quick drink and a gasping breath. 
"You're sick. I can't believe you let me eat that," you whisper. 
"You saw me eat mine! You knew what you were getting into… Think June wants one?" 
Your outrage has him laughing again. It's a magnetic sound. Every time he does it you want to touch him, his arm one pole and your hand another. 
Junie gets comfortable on his right leg, head tipped expectantly against his chest and eyes drawn to the screen as the trailers begin. You don't bother with jealousy; in ten minutes she'll be climbing over the arm to sit with you again, or want to sit in her own seat. She may even try to walk around. Toddlers are indecisive and easily distracted. 
Even if she weren't. Even if she sat there in his lap for the next hour and a half and didn't look your way, you're not sure you could harbour any envy against him. His hand spreads over the front of her torso with fingers splayed against her ribs, stroking thoughtlessly through the fabric of her thick clothes.  
He tips his head toward your chair. "There's nachos." 
"I saw." 
"Wanna eat some before they get cold?" 
"Subtle." 
He snorts. "Yep. That's what they call me. Eddie Subtle Munson." 
You reach over the dark floor for the tray of nachos and balance them carefully on the armrest between your two seats. Eddie digs in without fuss, you fret over which ones have jalapeños on them, and Junie gets mad that nobody's sharing with her. She puts her hands straight in a mound of orange cheese. Her face is a picture when she brings it to her mouth. She's discovered molten gold. 
"Junie," Eddie says lightly, carding hair away from her ear so she can hear him properly. "Don't get cheese on your pretty clothes. It took your mom a week to get the rocky road out of your strawberry jammies, you know?" 
He doesn't care that she's mauled the food. He's worried she might stain her dungarees. Your heart goes crazy, another sudden surge of clarity.  
Junie climbs back into your own lap as the movie begins. You whisper to her about proper theatre etiquette in your mommy voice and she doesn't do too bad a job at listening. She finds the appearance of the Great Mouse Detective himself quite funny, and laughs at his grave features and expressions every now and then. It's a golden sound. 
Try as you might, you can't keep your eyes open. Junie's having such a good time and Eddie whispers funny commentary beside you, but eventually your eyelids creep shut and Eddie squeezes your arm, skin braceleted by his thick, warm fingers. 
-
"C'mere," Eddie prompts, hands vying for your daughter where she's perched in your lap. 
"Why?" Junie asks. 
He's surprised at her inquisition. "You don't want a hug?" 
She nods voraciously. Eddie lifts her off of your lap before she can use you as a climbing frame and into his own.
"I think mommy's sleeping," he tells her. 
Junie looks at you curiously. You've got a wet wipe in your limp hand, which he takes and discards, and your head's fallen to one side. You'll have an awesome crick in your neck when you wake up.
Junie gives him a hug. He loves her hugs. They're so small and sweet, she's genuinely an extremely loving little girl. Her smile when she hugs people is beautiful as yours is, though her affection is less hesitant. 
Everything's going well until she catches a look at the huge, scary bad guy Professor Ratigan somewhere in the middle. 
Eddie's crunching through a greedy mouthful of popcorn and almost chokes as she turns around and hides in his chest. He brings a hand up to her back protectively though he doesn't know what happened, eyes moving between her and the screen at lightning speed. 
"Aw, June," he murmurs sympathetically. He really is a scary looking guy. 
"Eddie," she says, dangerously close to tears. 
"Sweetheart, it's okay! He's only on TV." 
She says something that might be, "Don't want." It's not quite there but Eddie thinks she's doing a great job lately with her talking, patting her back in a silent well done as he attempts to reassure her. "Basil's gonna outsmart him, Junie. The Great Mouse Detective is gonna save the day, scout's honour." 
"No," she whines softly. 
He covers her unhappy face with his hand. 
"It's okay," he murmurs, melted and bemused. "It's okay, junebug. I swear." 
Despite his best efforts, she starts to cry. Eddie freezes up because she doesn't cry often, not with him. When she does you're always there to find a solution. He supposes the novelty of being a new person has long worn off, and that he's going to have to make more of an effort than just tickling her or petting her hair to make it better. 
Her volume increases. He shushes her, clumsy and awkward but earnest, trying the best that he can to make it up. He offers candies and drinks, he rummages through your baby bag for Mr. Bear. She takes it all but none of it lasts.
Someone in the chair behind him coughs pointedly. 
Eddie turns to wake you up. He gets one good look at your face and can't follow through. 
You're sleeping deeply, at the movie theatre of all places. How tired are you, and why hadn't you said? He'd known to some extent — it's why he'd offered to drive — but with the movie blaring and all the kids and noise and now Junie's crying, he realises you must be exhausted to sleep through it. Why hadn't he noticed? He kicks himself.
He lifts her up with his head angled down, giving your shoulder a swift squeeze and then bumping down the steps with Junie until he's out into the lights of the hallway. The door swings closed. 
It's oddly quiet and extremely bright. Junie stops crying to blink, and starts to cry again once she's adjusted. 
Eddie does not know what to do. It's a kick to his ego that he quickly accepts, though he does murmur a rueful, "Babe, I thought you liked me." 
Lost on deaf ears, his comment hangs in the air. 
He pats her back some more, wracking his brain for how you take care of her when she gets like this. Mostly, you're patient. You hum and you wait. Eddie tries to emulate you and your kind heart, walking her up and down the hall as he taps the bottom of her spine. 
"It's okay," he repeats. The more he says it the easier it feels. It is okay. He has to find a way to help June understand that, is all.
She grizzles. It's a long process. A couple of times he wonders if he's in over his head, if it's even his place, if he should wake you up and admit defeat. 
But Eddie Munson is trying to prove something. 
He works Mr. Bear out of Junie's iron grip and pinches his back taut so that his face and arms wiggle when he wants them to. 
"Baby June," he begins, in as gruff a voice as he can manage. He tries to channel his uncle's sternness, and his fondness. "Won't you quit crying? You're getting tears on the neck of your t-shirt and all over your cheeks." 
Junie quietens. She still cries, but the severity of the situation noticeably shifts. 
Eddie keeps on. "I got just the thing," he says, pushing Mr. Bear forward and making smacking sounds as he kisses both of her cheeks. "Gotta kiss these tears right off a'you." 
She laughs as Mr. Bear kisses her face dry and laughs some more when Eddie kisses the top of her head.
Eddie loves Junie. 
He knows it for a fact. 
She's very easy to love. She's beautiful as you are, she's loving, she's sweet. Her laugh is adorable and her smile is more. When she cries, Eddie finds he's never annoyed. Grated by the repetitive sound, maybe, but he can't find it in himself to be mad with her ever. He wants to help her work through it. To get you both through it. Eddie wants to be good at this.
He has Mr. Bear kiss Junie all over her face. 
"See?" Mr. Bear asks. "Isn't that better? No more tears, little girl, or we'll never see the end of the movie!" 
As Eddie says it, he wonders if taking her back into the theatre is a good idea. 
"Hey, junebug?" he says, all drama set aside. 
Junie lifts her flushed face. 
He smiles gratefully. "Do you wanna go back inside? Go check on mommy?" Leaving you by yourself doesn't exactly sit right with him.
Ah, there's the face he was expecting. Puzzlement, surprise. Junie frowns at him and looks over his shoulder, her own, searching the empty hallway for you and finding only reflective floor lights and patterned carpet. 
Eddie starts back into the screen room before she can cry over your being missing, chatting quietly but in a way that commands her attention. He's effective in the art of distraction if nothing else.  
The mouse detective and his friends have defeated Professor Ratigan, though Eddie shields Junie's head from the screen in case he's thinking about making a comeback, finding his way back to you in the dark. He picks over other people's snacks and then the abundance of your own, finding you still sound asleep. The sight doesn't spell good tidings. 
"Here she is," Eddie tells Junie, "here's mom. You wanna give her a kiss?" 
He sits down in his seat and squishes a bag of gummy worms under his boot. Junie immediately bends over the armrest and grabs at your front. You'd worried to him once that she had separation anxiety, and Eddie didn't know anything about it to agree or not. This display makes him think she might. She's clinging to you, desperately wanting your attention. 
Eddie winces as she grabs your face. She's obviously not trying to be cruel, hand stroking over your cheek as you'd stroke hers. 
"Mom," she whispers, the action itself enough to get Eddie laughing. Her version of whispering is almost like a character in a pantomime. 
He doesn't laugh for very long. You're not easy to wake up. Junie squishes your cheek and tries again. "Mommy," she says.
You groan in your sleep and your eyes scrunch together. "What?" you murmur finally, voice scratchy. 
"You're missing the movie," Eddie says, patting your thigh. 
Your arms come to life before you do. You wrap them around Junie's short torso and encourage her up your chest until you can nose at the top of her head. You rub slow lines, a steady back and forth. Eddie would bet money you don't have a clue in the world where you are. 
"S'loud," you complain. Your voice is weak with sleep. 
Junie looks at Eddie weirdly. He suspects it's her way of asking him to help out without asking. 
He tenses his hand where it rests at your thigh. "Do you wanna go home?" 
You don't answer. You go limp under his touch and Junie's weight, nose and lips set in a frown but otherwise near languid. 
Eddie's small (and alarmingly ever-present) worry for you multiplies by a hundred. 
He grabs up a bag of chips and entices your daughter back onto his thigh. She digs through half the bag as the movie draws to a finish, distracted if not happy, her face and fingers swiftly flaked in corn dust. The lights are thrown up and the noise is immense, a hundred pairs of shoes over tipped popcorn, babies and young kids unsettled, their parents eager to head home and watch their own movies no doubt. 
Eddie can't say he'd really watched the film besides precursory glances, his focus on you and your fidgety offspring. He'd been excited to tell you about his Junie success, but now he just wants to get you home.
He says your name as clearly as he can, his hand finding its way to your thigh for the third time. He rubs down toward your knee and gives your leg a shake. 
Junie climbs off of his own. Now the lights are on she can see the grand assortment of snacks laid out before her, and she seems eager to try them all. 
You eventually, thankfully rouse, you drag a palm over your eyes and cross your legs, squishing his hand in the process. He steals it back.
"Babe, you gotta get up. The attendants are looking at us funny. I think they think I've run you ragged, and while the dad tag doesn't bother me, 'cruel husband' doesn't suit me." 
"What?" you ask. 
He shrugs. "Junie pissed her pants." 
Your eyes open, lashes parting clumsily. You move like the air around you has turned to glue and moan in a quiet display of agony as your neck clicks. "She leaked through?"
"Nah, I'm messing with you. Movie's done. Getting some weird stares." 
You're quiet, but you shrug on your jacket and Eddie packs what he can of the leftover candy into your bag. He swings it over his shoulder. 
"You wanna come up?" he asks Junie. 
She raises both arms. 
You stand on shaky legs. Eddie stations Junie on one hip with one arm wrapped around her and holds out the other. You let him fold you up into his side.
"You okay?" he asks. 
Your face drops into his shoulder. "I'm so tired." 
"You're alright to walk out to the car?" 
His worry is like a rubber band. You snap to attention, disengage from his hold. It's a foreign and really uncomfortable feeling to see you out of sorts. 
Eddie walks behind you with a hand nearly but not touching your back. If you topple, he's not sure how he's gonna save you. Determined anyways, he guards you down the hollow stairs and through the hallway, one step behind you. 
It's a cool, crisp night outside. 
The smell of rain sticks around. You lift your chin. It's much colder now that night's fallen. The breeze kisses your damp skin. When did you start sweating? 
He presses his hand to your shoulders and guides you across the road. 
Junie starts her lovely babbling in his ear. "Mouse 'tective," she says at one point. You don't react, affirming his theory: you're more than tired. You're sick. 
"Mouse detective," he agrees, arm around your shoulder to assuage his own worries as he gives Junie the best of his attention. "You liked that one, huh?" Besides the evil Professor. "Better than the Muppets in New York? Junebug, you little traitor. How easily your favour changes." 
"Are you surprised? She took to you like," — you yawn wide enough that Eddie feels it under his arm, a full body thing — "a duck to water." 
He beams, relieved to hear your voice. "Yeah, well, I'm special." 
"That's true."
Eddie walks you around to the passenger side and opens your door. 
"Flirting! Awesome. You're not too sick to forget how much of a catch I am. Watch your head." 
"I gotta do Junie's straps," you say. 
"I think I can do it by now."
He's only sort of bluffing. It takes him much longer than it would've taken you. He celebrates his win by pinching her cheek lightly and then whacking his head hard on the roof of your car. 
"Fuck," he mutters as he jogs around the hood, scrubbing at the back of his head. 
You're staring at him as he opens the door. 
He puts the baby bag in your lap and shoves the key in the ignition, trying not to buckle under the weight of your gaze. He cracks quicker than he should, hand paused in its action.
"What?" 
"You tryna give yourself a concussion?" 
"Kiss it better?" 
You kiss the tip of your finger and touch it to his head. It's an instant healing potion. 
Getting you both home is easy enough, it's the trying to leave that's hard. You collapse heavily into the couch, Junie drapes herself over your lap and begs for her clothes to be taken off. Your second wind has worn away to nothing, leaving you plainly exhausted. 
Eddie can't go home, not until he knows you're alright. 
He slinks into your bedroom and tries not to look around too much. It feels like an invasion of privacy despite having made it in here a couple of times, always with his hip to the door as you search for something. He fails spectacularly and straight away, always hungry to know more about you. These days especially. 
Your bed looks like you shook out the duvet but never tucked the corners. Your pillow's on the floor, your thin throw blanket is screwed up in a ball. There's a bunch of Junie's stuffies against the headboard. He grins at their straight backs.
He makes for your wardrobe, a cheap bit of cherry wood with one sagging door. As much as he wants to outfit Junie in her goodwill band t-shirt, he pulls a soft pair of cotton pyjamas out from a neatly folded stack, thumbing the blue fabric fondly. There's a noticeable disparity between her clothes and yours. One work skirt and one work shirt hang from two lonely hangers, accompanied only by your infamous 'best jeans'. He frowns at a small stain at the knee and scratches it fruitlessly. Not her best jeans, he thinks in horror, picturing your unhappy face. He can see it so clearly, the pinching of your brows.
Junie squeals happily from the living room. Eddie remembers himself and follows the sound, finding you both on the ground. You're kneeling, blowing raspberries into Junie's naked stomach where she lays on her changing mat, a discarded diaper and her dirty clothes to the side. 
There's a big break between raspberries where your eyes drift shut sluggishly. Junie whines for another.
Eddie sits next to you. Stupidly close, his crossed leg kisses your thigh. He could wrap you up in a hug easily right here, and he wants to. Your tired face has his stomach aching with guilt. 
"Sweetheart," he says to you firmly, "get back on the couch. You look like you're gonna fall asleep right here." 
You don't argue, leaving Eddie the impossible duty of dressing your baby. Junie hates the shirt more than he can describe, loathes the fabric as it covers her face. He has to pick her up to get her into her pants, another fury. She forgives him easily once he's done, lingering by his side with Mr. Bear in hand. She pinches his back and imitates Eddie's low growl, laughing at herself as she does. She finds it very funny. Eddie can't help giggling with her. 
"Eddie?" you ask. 
He turns. You look miserable. 
"What?" he asks softly, startled by your intense expression. 
"Thank you." 
"Oh, baby," he says, loud and brash as he twists where he is to grab both of your knees. He practically throws himself at you, at your feet, ducking his cheek to your leg. "You really are sick as a dog." 
You look visibly embarrassed.
"Listen," he says, insistent, "If we start saying thank you to each other, we won't stop. We'll be a loop of thank yous." 
"I think I have more to say than you do," you murmur. 
He shakes his head, exasperated at your inability to see him for what he is even now. It's funny. Eddie thinks you've a better view of him than anybody else, that you see him more generously than anyone has ever seen him, and you still haven't noticed he's a boy in love. 
You must feel his grin as he kisses your knee, his thumb stroking over the ridge of the cap. 
"If I started to say thanks for all the things you've given me I wouldn't stop. I'd talk myself hoarse," Eddie argues. 
You laugh at his dungeon master dramatics, but reaffirm, "I haven't given you anything." 
"You don't know what you've given me," he says into your leg. 
Eddie lifts his head, weary of his chin digging into your leg. 
Now isn't the best time to declare devotion, or drop kisses into you when you can't offer any in return. Not that he's expecting you to. Not that he wouldn't receive them gratefully. 
"I should go home." 
You reach for him. Your hand moves slowly like you've a weight around your wrist, but your fingertips curve over his cheek; you move from the corner of his lip, under his eye, and then finish your circle at the skin beneath his ear. 
"Can you hug me?" you ask. 
"Yeah," Eddie says. He doesn't waste any time.
He gets up, slides a knee between your knees and rests his full weight on the couch between them as his arms curve around you and his hands feel for the dip of your lower back. He clutches without any hesitation. 
"Can I? Did you mean it like that? My arms work fine." 
You curl your arms around him and groan. "You're gonna crush me." 
"Really?" He pulls you closer. "How 'bout now?" 
"Ow," you whine. 
He laughs and pushes his face toward your ear. "Liar," he whispers. "No way that hurts." 
"Why's everybody always on top of me?" 
"That's your issue?" He pulls back. "You want to sit in my lap?" 
"No!" 
"Aw, my poor girl. You totally wanna sit in my lap. Alright, get in it." 
He sits down beside you and waits, one arm still behind your back. He gives you an encouraging tug. 
"I'm not sitting in your lap." 
"I didn't think you would, just- Just c'mere," he prompts, pulling your face into his chest. 
Your arms slide around his waist. He can feel the scratchy skin on your left index finger, a scar of a recent kitchen accident, against his hip where his shirt has ridden. 
"You're really handsy. Has anyone told you that before?" Eddie asks, trying to cover the entirety of your back with his arms alone. 
You push your face as far as it'll go into his chest. Eddie keeps you there, and soon a little body has found its way onto the couch next to you both, demanding to be included. Eddie quickly drags her in. 
Long minutes of quiet hugs. 
"Wish we could stay like this forever," you murmur.
"Well, I'm not going anywhere. If you were worried." 
He massages over the slope of your shoulder, a tight looking muscle. You sigh inaudibly, a hot patch over his heart. 
"I wasn't," you say. 
Eddie thinks you might finally be on the same page. 
-
You get really, really sick. 
"On my days off!" you croak, the injustice too much to handle. 
Eddie laughs from the end of your bed, a bandana tied around his face like a doctor from one of his awful horror movies, though the bandana is far from a clinical white. "That's exactly why you're still sick. Your body sensed the weekend." 
Hadn't it? You'd been achy and awful on Friday and Benny had sent you home at lunch, citing a need to keep his patrons from infection. Which sucked, because you'd really wanted to stick around for the very beginning of the Friday night rush and get some payday tips. People are generous when they're high on the buzz of a forthcoming weekend, especially to over obsequious waitresses.
It had sucked worse when Junie came out of daycare in the best mood ever and demanded kisses. You'd had a headache the size of a tennis ball behind your eyes and didn't want to pass anything over, and the crushed look on her face had made you cry in the car on the way home. 
Eddie dropped in particularly early that night with soup. "I had a feeling," he'd said. 
And now here he is again the day after. 
"At least one of us is enjoying this," you say. 
"You think I'm enjoying this?" Eddie asks. 
You give his precautionary outfit a once over. "Yes." 
"This is just something I had lying around." 
"Shut up! Shut up, no it wasn't!" You're voice cracks, giggly and giddy even with the spikes of pain to your tender head. 
"It was. We did a campaign, I was a plague doctor-" 
"That is in terrible taste." 
"It was perfectly appropriate, thank you very much. You're determined to vilify me. Need to slow down with the cold medicine, I think." 
You shriek as he tries to take the bottle. "No! No, please, my throat hurts." 
He takes the bottle. It is a hurtful defeat. You curl your fingers around nothing and sulk, slouching down into a sanctuary of pillows and blankets to hide from him. Extra pillows provided by Eddie. With fresh covers, duh. They smell like him anyway. You turn your nose into it indulgently. 
"You've had too much to safely be responsible for any further consumption." 
"Further consumption," you echo, eyes closing in defeat as he leaves. 
"You okay, June?" you hear him ask, voice occluded partially by the sound of the TV. 
"Okay, Eddie?" she asks. 
You grin to yourself. 
"I'm great. This looks very fun. I'm gonna make mom a cold pack for her head and then you can help me make dinner, okay? Does that sound fun? Tell me, June." 
The 'Tell me, June,' isn't a command so much as a gentle reminder that she can answer the question if she wants to. 
"Fun," she says.  
"Hey, great. Oh, thank you. Thank you." 
They better not be cuddling without me, you think bitterly, grin swiftly replaced by a self-pitying frown. 
You cough into your hand, roil in your own misery for a second and then grab the big glass of water Eddie had insisted on from the night stand. You tip it down yourself in your hurry. 
"Missed your mouth," Eddie says, appearing at exactly the wrong moment. 
"Don't baby me." 
He pads into the room with a cold pack wrapped in a hand towel. "For your head." 
"This is silly. I don't need to be in bed."
"Obviously you do. You're sick, did you notice? Stupid question," he adds regretfully, gesturing for you to lie back. He sets the pack to your forehead. "You wouldn't notice a hole in your stomach. You'd be dripping entrails in the freezer aisle wondering if Junie wants corn on the cob or mashed potato with dinner tonight." 
"What does she want for dinner tonight?" 
"Boo! Exactly my point." 
"I'm gonna go ask her-" 
Eddie puts an unapologetic hand in the middle of your chest and pushes down. "You will do no such thing." He lowers his face to yours. "I'm willing to get physical. So behave." 
You flush with heat because you're sick and not because he says it a certain way, dropping back down into your fluffed pillows without another word. 
Eddie's hand climbs up to your collar, your neck. His fingers slide one after another behind it. It's a blessed cold. You can't find a comfortable temperature today, moving between chills and hot flashes at the drop of a hat.
Or a bandana. Eddie unties the dark fabric from his neck and leaves it where it lands, staring at you without saying anything. 
His thumb presses into your sore throat carefully, the barest hint of pressure, and his lips part. He doesn't say anything for a while. It looks like he wants to. 
"Do me a favour?" he asks finally.
"Of course." Anything to feel useful right now. 
"Take it easy." He again lowers his head, talking to you with a private smile. "The sooner you chill out, the sooner you'll beat this thing." 
"Don't say that. Like I have something serious." 
"The sooner you'll beat this moderate-" 
"Mild-" 
"-affliction." He strokes quarter-circles into your neck.
"I don't need to lie down. There's things I have to do." 
"On a Saturday?" 
"Yes. There's things I need to do everyday." You clear your throat. It's useless, the lump remains and your voice stays scratchy. "I have- I always have laundry. So that first. Gotta wash it and put it out and bring it in and press it. I gotta make sure Junie has lunch for daycare this week 'n if she doesn't I have to go get it, I gotta," — you cover his hand with your own thoughtlessly — "make sure her rash is getting better. And I promised we'd do a tea party tomorrow, I have to make sandwiches!" 
"We both know she doesn't remember the tea party." 
"I promised." 
"And if I… If I tried to get all those things done, would you stay in bed?" 
"You can't." 
"But if I tried it? I can do laundry. I'm good at it. Get oil stains out of Wayne's coveralls every Sunday." 
You slump into a lump of sadness and achy arms. "Don't do my laundry. Don't do any of that stuff. I'll punch you if you do." 
Eddie bursts into laughter. "You'll punch me? You horrible woman." 
"I will," you promise, fingers curling around his arm to hold him in place. 
"Why don't I believe you?" 
"I don't know. 'Cos you're a know-it-all who dislikes me." 
"I far from dislike you." He grins at you, all dimpled and pretty. "I don't believe you'd hit me because I know you, idiot." 
"Name-calling." 
"Uh-huh. Are you sleeping or am I helping you out onto the couch?" 
While you're happy for the compromise, you have one problem. "I don't think I can move." 
Eddie lets his face fall amicably to your collar. "No, I bet you can't. More reason for me to get you on the couch. I think you've genuinely had too much cough syrup," he worries, warm breath fanning over your skin. 
You bring your spare hand to his head. He has so many curls. 
He lifts his head and you're close enough to kiss. There's no other reason anyone has ever been this close. 
"I can see your beauty mark," you say, hushed. You don't wanna breathe on him too much. 
"Freckle." 
"Your freckle." You lift and drop his curls, fingers toying through the softness towards his roots, the frizz at the ends. 
"You- You smell like fucking cherry syrup."
You abandon his hair to clap a hand over your mouth. "I'm sorry." 
He covers his own mouth. "It's okay," he says, similarly muffled. "I like the sweet stuff." 
What the fuck does that mean? Your stomach doesn't flip — it leaps right up into your throat. "You're an idiot," you breathe, caught off guard. 
"What was that?" he asks, taking away his hand. "Didn't catch it." 
"I said, 'You're an-" 
"Amazing friend and confidante?" 
You try to talk and he says, "A real stand-up guy?" 
You try again and he says, "A total rockstar? Baby, if you really think all this you should've said." 
You flop completely onto your back, away from his hands, his jokes and his lovely brown eyes where they bore into your own. Eddie hums and rubs brashly over the top of your arm until the skin glows with heat. 
"Please stay in bed," Eddie says as he stands. 
Medicine or his touch, you're feeling pretty tired. You pull up your blankets and sink like a stone, head disappearing into a mess of pillows and throws. 
-
It's much later when you wake. You move into the land of the living abrupt as whiplash. 
Eddie seems very sorry. "Sweetheart, June's past due for a new diaper, and I-" 
"Oh, right," you say, sounding much more alert than you feel. You're a girl made of sandpaper. 
"I would've, I mean. If it wouldn't make you uncomfortable, I would've tried. But I've never changed a diaper in my life." 
You scratch your flaky eyes, disorientated and head like a boiling saucepan with the lid glued on. 
"That's okay," you say. Your voice refuses to cooperate with you, gruff and too quiet. "It wouldn't bother me, but it's also not your job, so… Um." You yawn wide and cover your entire face. 
You spend a minute rubbing your eyes. 
"Fuck, what time's it?" you ask, squinting at him and bringing your hands to either side of your face.
"Like, seven. Ish." 
"Eddie…" 
"I know. I thought you could use the rest. I knew you could. And it's not urgent, you know? Come around, first. Everything's stellar." 
You peel back the sheets. You're a clammy, too-hot mess with weak legs. 
Eddie sees you wobble and rushes to wrap an arm around your waist. Completely unnecessarily, heart-achingly kind. You wince at the dampness of your shirt under his touch.
Junie sits on the couch in her jammies with a yellow-green soup stain down the front. She's propped up like a princess, a pillow behind her head between the armrest and her blanket covering her legs, cheek pressed to the cushions. Eyes trained on the TV and her bottle propped in a slackening grip, your baby is peaceful, near luxurious. 
Only a little wiggle might suggest she's uncomfortable.
You part from Eddie's side and sit down beside her, the seat warm. She doesn't even look up. 
"What, no hi for mom?" you ask tenderly, hand falling to the top of her head. She's lovely. 
She gasps, little lungs fit to burst. It's pure excitement, her bottle dislodged and the blanket pushed away immediately. She doesn't bother getting to her feet, throwing herself into your lap and assuming you'll do the rest. Of course you will. You pull her up and kiss the top of her head, though you quickly hold her at arm's length. 
"Sorry, mommy's still sick," you tell her, sympathetic at her crushed expression. 
"Mis'd," she says. 
"Yeah? You missed me?" you ask hopefully. 
Her lips part in comprehension. "Missed you," she confirms. 
You throw your gaze over your shoulder to Eddie. He stands by Junie's changing station with a smug smile. "What?" 
"You're not very convincing." 
"I'm not trying to convince you, thanks," he says, holding up two hands in surrender. 
"She didn't learn that herself," you argue. 
"She might've. You tell her enough." 
You go back to your girl, pleased at her own smug smile. "I missed you, too, I missed you so much. Missed you millions. Sorry I've been sleeping all day, you've been such a good girl. She has, hasn't she?"
Eddie sorts through a nearly empty bag of diapers and brandishes one with fish printed on the back. "Oh, yeah. Junebug's been amazing. She came in with me to see you earlier, took your temperature." You frown. "From a distance. Kind of. I held her above you. It was… acrobatic." 
You close your eyes at his absurdity, your laugh prompting another spike of pain. 
Junie forces herself closer and gets both arms around your neck. 
You sag into the contact, defeated. "Aw, June," you mumble ruefully. "M'trying to make sure you don't get sick too. Wasting my time." 
"Mommy," she says into your neck. 
"That's me." 
You know she has something she wants to say. You can't wait for the days where she can. Exciting, to think that one day she'll be able to share all of her thoughts. 
Right now, she's probably thinking, Woah, mom, you smell weird. And you look weirder.
You feel her back with your hand and cringe. Definitely time to get her changed.
Afterward, you sit with your back to the open front door on one of the porch steps. Physical exertion of any kind seems to be inadvisable; you're sweating up a storm. Junie sits beside you at her own insistence, her hand clasped in your hand and her head on your arm. You look down at her thighs next to your own and marvel at their small size. The evening breeze is a blessing. 
Eddie stands in front of you with his backpack slung over his shoulder and a checklist. 
"Tea party sandwiches are badly made and saran wrapped in the fridge. Junie doesn't have lunch for Monday but I can go tomorrow if you want me to. Her clothes are folded in the hamper. Uh, some stuff got left out, you might need to press them. Not tonight though, please." 
"Thank you." 
He talks around a smile. "Soup's on the stove. I'll come back later, if-" 
"You don't have to." 
"I want to. I wouldn't actually leave, but-" 
"Eddie-" You cough into your shoulder. He waits for you to finish. "You- You didn't have to take care of me." 
"What does that mean? Of course I did." 
He hikes his backpack higher up his shoulder and pads back up the steps, not all of them but enough for him to lean down and stare at Junie. 
"Thanks for the best day ever," he says seriously, looking out of the corner of his eye at you. "Almost. See you later?" 
Junie nods voraciously and reaches up with her empty hand. Eddie takes it and kisses her temple. He does the same to you, lips brushing soft as downy-feather over your skin. 
"I'll come back around ten? Is that cool?" 
"Don't knock too loudly," you mumble, very aware of his proximity. 
He backs up and bows like an idiot, hand moving in circles. 
You and Junie wave him off. 
"To work?" Junie asks.  
Your eyebrows jump as you pull your gaze from his retreating figure. "Huh?" 
"To work?" 
You play with her fingers. "No, he's not going to work. He's going to take care of someone else, now." 
Wayne, Eddie said, in a fondly exasperated tone that explained everything you needed to know. His uncle's self-preservation must come in similar disinterest to himself as yours does to you. 
"We'll see him tomorrow," you say. It's not even a lie, you will both see him tomorrow. 
But apparently he's coming back tonight. 
-
True to his word, Eddie Munson knocks your door carefully at nearing ten o'clock. 
Wayne's dismissal chases his heels. He'd spent an hour worrying about you at the dinner table with his uncle, fingers curling anxiously in his hair. 
Wayne had been talking about some gab the boys in the shop had heard about killer mice or killer lice or something when he'd suddenly cleared his throat and snapped Eddie to attention. 
"You're a good kid. Notice how I said good, and not smart," Wayne had said. 
"Gee, thanks. You always did know how to make a guy feel loved, Wayne." 
"You don't wanna be here." 
Eddie had frowned. "Obviously I do." 
"Kid, what I mean is, you gotta," — he'd nodded his head hard to one side and raised his eyebrows — "you know." 
"Haven't brushed up on my mysterious gestures lately. Translate that one for me?" 
Wayne had flicked up his newspaper and sighed. "Don't be dumb." 
"You keep saying that." 
"You keep being dumb, boy." 
"I don't know what you want me to do." 
"Think you better go look after your girl, don't you?" Wayne had asked finally, clearing his throat. 
So here he is to look after you. A tad early, worried you'll be sleeping on the couch with a misbehaving baby in your lap or passed out in the bathroom after an impromptu cleaning. 
Thankfully, you open the door in different clothes than he'd left you in, the neckline dark with run-off and face damp under your eyes and by your ears. You dab at your tacky skin with your index knuckle. 
"You look better," he says. He wishes he could take it back instantly, though you don't take any offence. 
"Hot shower," you explain. 
You step back to let him in. Eddie closes the door behind him without turning, eyes glued to your fresh face. He's depressed by the lingering fatigue he finds lining your darling features. 
"You okay?" you ask him, perturbed by his silence. 
Eddie's better than okay. 
He steps close. You look like you might step back, make room for him he doesn't want, so he reaches out for your face and holds it in one hand, the other landing in tandem on your arm.
Your cheek lists into his hand as he wipes away what's left of the dampness on your face. He's not sure you know you're doing it. 
"Did you take any more medicine?" he asks quietly, rubbing under your eye carefully with the tip of his thumb.
"No, I- I think you fixed me, Munson. Me and Junie had your soup, and after a shower I felt way better. It was really nice. She slept easy." 
He presses the back of his hand to your forehead. "You don't feel too hot." 
"Like I said. Fixed me. My hero." 
He looks over your shoulder at your life — at his life, or at least where a majority of it seems to take place. All his favourite parts these days happen right there on your couch, or at that table, or knee to knee with a baby that isn't his but- but-
"You said that to me the first time we met," Eddie recalls, shaking his head. It's like there's water in his ears. A few strands of hair drift into his eyes. 
You catch his elbows in both hands. "It feels like a really long time ago now." 
Months. Only months. "I feel like I've known you for years."
He strokes over your face, chin to cheek, the tip of his thumb pressed to the corner of your mouth. 
"That's how I feel, too," you whisper. Utter. Hushed, your words ring loud anyway. "You're my best friend." 
Eddie doesn't take it for a door closing because it isn't. It's a door kicked wide open. Split on its hinges. You and Eddie stand on equal ground, and, for once, the same page.
"You know I don't mind taking care of you?" he asks, hand passing over your ear to hide behind it. He wants to see all of your face. 
Predictably, you drop your eyes to his neck, pupils wobbling as you search for somewhere to plant yourself. "I know. I'm not sure I deserve it." 
"Why wouldn't you deserve it? Everyone deserves taking care of." 
"Even murderers?" 
"Maybe not murderers-" 
"The evil guys from your game? Necromancers?" 
"They're not all evil." His left palm skirts up the curve of your neck, encouraging your face back to his. "Don't change the subject." 
You press your lips together, caught.
"I actually…" — he gathers as much bravery as he has — "want to take care of you." 
"You do." 
He holds your face in both hands. "You know you- You know you started it, right? You know it's- that without your-" He cringes internally at his stammering, but he has to get this part right. "You have gold where your heart should be." 
"Y/N The Golden Hearted. Doesn't have the best ring to it," you muse, hands clinging to the crooks of his elbows like twin pooled teardrops waiting to fall. 
Eddie stares at you, floored.
"What about you?" 
"What about me?" he asks. 
"What's your name?" you demand, grinning. 
"Eddie the Subtle. Munson the Mad."  
You huff a laugh. "That's a cop-out."
"Maybe." 
"How about…" The air feels thick as jelly. Light from under the bedroom door stops short of your legs, your toes almost touching. His rubber soles, your socks. "Eddie the Indomitable?" 
He crinkles his nose. "I'd almost think you were trying to flirt with me, that's how bad that is." 
Your blinks are slow. Your eyes soften. 
"What if I was?" you ask. 
A stock-still silence pervades, filled only by the hum of the refrigerator and the droning of the bathroom light, left on. He could tell you the contents of this room by its sounds alone. 
His hand moves of its own accord, up and down the slope of your neck. "I'd say you needed a better pick up line."
"Like what?" you ask, chest rising too fast. 
Eddie takes a step and feels his jacket zipper cut into the cotton of your shirt. It's your matching band t-shirt. 
Eddie drags his gaze slowly to your widened eyes, your lashes as they move almost imperceptibly upward. Taking him in as he inches closer. 
"You're so fucking pretty," he says. 
He leans in. He closes the gap. Eddie Munson takes the leap. 
Your hand comes quickly to his upper arm and you turn your face just enough to force his lips, his kiss landing a centimetre shy of your nose. 
He struggles to keep his eyes closed. His heart thrums like a blown amp. 
"You can't kiss me," you say. Eddie struggles to discern your tone. 
His nose presses to yours. Not desperately, but almost. "I can't?" he asks, throat thick with emotion, a stickying, cloying taffy. 
"I'll make you sick." 
He turns your face with his palm, lips hovering above yours, a hair's width. Close enough to feel their heat. 
"Can I trust you'll nurse me back to health, in the event that that happens?" Would you take care of me? His hands tremble where they're touching you. He's too scared to open his eyes. 
You don't answer. 
You cover his hands and the seconds stretch endlessly, a thousand moments of terror and pining and want suddenly flattened into one as you kiss him.
He exhales against you. His relief is a palpable, viscous thing as he pulls you in and his nose digs into yours. Lips soft as he'd imagined, as he'd known they'd be, you kiss back tentatively. Sweetly.
You're kissing him like he's something that needs a careful touch. 
Eddie screws his eyes shut tight enough to see stars, firecrackers, a shattering bouquet of colours as you move beneath him. He can't believe he's kissing you. He can't believe there was a time where he wasn't.
He yields, leaning back just enough to see your face. You keep your eyes shut, your eyelashes kissing the delicate skin beneath. They move like blades of grass in the breeze as Eddie tries to catch his breath, regaining some of his composure. It's hard while he's here, this close. 
You make a small sound, a breath like a barb. The shaky demarcation of tears. 
"Okay?" he asks, more movement than sound. His lips skip over your own. 
You have to feel it. 
A laugh bubbles up through your parted lips like a hiccup. "I'm definitely gonna make you sick," you mumble regretfully. 
"Make me sick, sweetheart," he says, begs. Whatever. 
Whatever word you want to use. He doesn't care if he pays for it afterwards, he wants to be close to you now, unapologetically close. And kissing you — kissing you like this, your reciprocation, it's everything because it means you feel the same as he does. 
Or a fraction the same. He's reassured either way. If you felt a fraction of what he felt, that's enough. 
It's a lot. To be touching you, finally. He grabs at the nape of your neck and kisses, kisses, kisses. He goes slowly, not quite sweetly. He's never been as sweet as you have, never as soft or patient.
It doesn't feel like it matters. 
You pull his hands from your face, press his and your own, all four hands to the collar of your shirt. 
"It wasn't just a, uh, pick up line, was it?" you ask breathlessly. 
"Wh- No." Eddie massages the back of your hands. "No, you're the fucking prettiest girl ever. I think you're aces. Killer. Everything." 
"Everything," you say, an almost indecipherable glassiness to your eyes. 
"Everything," he says. He spreads his hand over your heart. 
You don't throw yourself at him, but you move alarmingly quickly. Arms over his shoulders, hands crossed and buried in his hair. Your laugh is magic, a bright and exuberant sound loud in his ear and then the skin underneath. He's barely got an arm around the small of your back when you start to kiss him, repetitive, chaste pecks over his pulse. It capers under your lips. 
"I don't know what kind of girl you think I am-" He begins deadpan and breaks abruptly, your second wave of laughter impossible to ignore. 
Your arms tighten at his laughing, palm cupping the back of his head. 
"You're my best friend, too," he says. "But you knew that." 
"Maybe," you murmur, your smile wide against his skin. You're uncharacteristically mischievous. 
He lets his back bend under your weight until your heels lift and you're scrabbling to stay on your own two feet and is rewarded by your shrieking laughter. 
Oh, god, he thinks, ecstatic. 
"Wait," you say, bargaining for freedom as he squeezes you hard enough to make you laugh again, and again, "wait, wait! Wait, let go. I have something to tell you." 
Eddie sets you down. He's reluctant to let you go, almost desperate to hug you now that he knows he can, but his curiosity gets the better of him. What could you have to tell him now that isn't confessional? It's like being promised something good. 
You stand sure and sweet in front of him.
"It's…" You look shyly at his lips. 
"What?" 
"I…" 
He shakes his head gently from side to side. "What? Tell me." 
"Nothing," you say, beaming. Act dropped, you take his face into both hands and kiss him soundly. 
Eddie's barely got his hands on you before you're pulling back. 
"Just wanted to do that," you say. 
𓆩❤︎𓆪
thank you for reading! | my masterlist | this fic is multi-chapter 
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indecisive-capricorn · 7 months
Text
Headcanons to Miguel O'Hara x Pregnant Reader:
WARNINGS: There will be a bit of angst, grief, mentions of child loss, but loads of fluff.
SUMMARY: Getting pregnant is one thing, but how will your beloved partner, Miguel O'Hara, react to it when he finds out? And how will he be like throughout your pregnancy?
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I have been noticing that for the last few months, the Miguel O'Hara imagines are decreasing and I am still very high in my reader phase for him, so in an attempt to feed my fellow still on high Miguel O'Hara lovers, I'll be posting several imagines or headcanons for him. Apologies if it's a little rough, been some time since I made a headcanon.
MASTERLIST: Feel free to check out my other works! :)
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When you first found out you were pregnant, you were quite unsure what to do. It wasn't as if you were afraid that Miguel might abandon you or anything, but because of what had happened with Gabriella, you knew children was a very sensitive topic for him.
You had talked with Miguel in the past about children and he considered the possibility of having children with you in the future but he didn't feel as if he was ready for kids yet. He was still grieving over Gabriella and you didn't blame him. She was his kid and no parent should ever have to endure the feeling of losing their child, but he has to and it was a scar that he would bring along with him throughout his life.
That was the reason why you are quite nervous to tell Miguel the news and you actually tried to keep it hidden from him for some time. You managed to do a good job at it but it also made you accidentally distant yourself from Miguel too.
Miguel was quick to catch on that something was wrong. Look, you can be the greatest liar in the world and he will still manage to find out your deepest secrets without needing you to tell him any of them. But even before you distant yourself from him, Miguel was able to sense the changes your body was going through. He wasn't precisely sure what it was but he knew something was different and you could blame it on his spider senses for giving him the ability to know that.
Miguel thought you were on your period at first and needed space, but he grew suspicious when your behaviour still had't changed after a few weeks.
And that was when he decided to confront you about your behaviour. He missed your light touches, your cuddles and your daily kisses, especially the cheek kisses you usually give him every morning before going to work or before going on a long mission. He missed pulling you into his arms while sleeping in bed with you, only to have you scooting to the far side of the bed the last few weeks. He missed you so much and he was hurt by your actions as well.
Even with how nervous you were, you didn't want to hide the truth from Miguel any longer, so you told him about your pregnancy.
Shock was an absolute understandment to describe Miguel's reaction to the news. Like, all the signs of your pregnancy the past few weeks came up to him in large capital letters. He should've known from it all but then again, even if you were already displaying a small baby bump, Miguel would only believe it once you actually said it to him.
Miguel would be happy next and he'll be kissing your cheek. He'll say that it is a wonderful news and would ask you for more details about the pregnancy and the baby's health. He'll be quite joyful about it but you knew that there was more to it than that.
You knew your partner better than anyone in the multi-verse and you knew for a fact that while Miguel was more than happy and excited about the news, you also knew that Miguel felt very scared. He was scared that he might fail to protect you and the baby the same way he failed to protect Gabriella. He would swear to you on that day that no harm would ever come to you or the baby as long as he's alive, but it still didn't vanish the fear inside him.
It is something Miguel can't control. Ever since Gabriella died, Miguel had closed off almost everyone in order to protect himself from losing more loved ones. It changed when he met you. You had slowly but surely began to tear down his walls, and encourage him to fight his fears.
His fears continues to stay in him, but you are always there to assure and remind him that you and the baby will be with him for a very, very long time.
After he has gotten over his initial worries and fears, Miguel will be celebrating the news with you. It could be going to your favourite restaurant for dinner or even something as simple as going to the park for a walk and get ice cream. It didn't matter how they celebrate it as long as his beautiful baby mama is happy.
Miguel is the type of person who reads every pregnancy book he can get his hands on. He'll also be taking notes of every word the doctor says during your pregnancy and Miguel will be the one to ask the doctor lots of questions in each appointment. The doctor might think you love to chat and talk about the baby but boy, Miguel could be bringing a whole damn book filled with questions about the baby and your pregnancy, and that wouldn't even be enough to stop him from asking. Miguel is actually tempted to get a personal doctor for you. The guy is filthy rich after all, but you protested against the idea and he decided not to. Of course, he'll secretly have a personal doctor in his contacts and if you ever found out about it, he'll just say it's a precaution.
Speaking of being filthy rich, when it comes to buying things for you and the baby, there is no budget. Before you were pregnant, you still somehow managed to convince him to give a limit when it comes to spending his money, but after he finds out you're pregnant? Yeah no, Miguel will be spending a shit ton of money because it's the love of his life and the mother of his child we're talking about here! He's not paying attention to the price tags, just paying attention to the quality because Miguel only wants the best of the best for his family.
One of the things Miguel knows is really important is quality time and throughout your pregnancy, he tries to be less at work. Miguel can't be out of work completely since the multi-verse needs him, but he can find people to cover his work while he's away to spend time with you.
Miguel is overprotective of you. He has always been protective and perhaps a tad possessive before, especially when there are other guys around, but he is much more protective when you're pregnant. Miguel knows you're not fragile. Hell, he worked with Jessica while she was heavily pregnant and she could have still easily beaten his ass. But there's this instinct that keeps on urging him to just be on guard all the time and because of it, Miguel is always on guard, unless you two are at home alone together.
Miguel adores your growing baby bump. It could still be a small one and Miguel would already be in love with it. He is always touching your stomach, either caressing it gently or leaving several kisses, and this continues on as it grows over time. Miguel's eyes will shine brightly whenever he feels the baby kick.
With that being said, every wish you make is Miguel's command. He will do anything and everything to make you as comfortable and relaxed as you can be. Swollen feets? Miguel's there to massage them. Late night cravings? Miguel's already on the way to the grocery store to buy the ingredients. Suddenly bursting into tears because of your hormones? Miguel's immediately there to comfort you.
Miguel doesn't usually like to take pictures but he tries to take some pictures of you throughout your pregnancy and put them all in a single photo album. He'll also put in the pictures that he had kept of each ultrasound appointment into the album. He does this so that one day when the baby is finally born and has grown much older, Miguel wants to be able to remember all the times of your pregnancy. The photo album is definitely one of his most cherished things and he'll be adding more pictures to it once the baby is born.
Overall, Miguel will be a little scared at first but he will always be very supportive of you throughout your pregnancy and try to be the best partner he can be to you and be the best father to your baby.
748 notes · View notes
whyse7vn · 2 months
Text
EMPTY BED -
[ot7 x reader]
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TAEHYUNG -
tae: Hey Siri Hey message L O M L Siri Hello Siri you bitch hello HEY SIRI in all capital letters that time now message my girlfriend ok wait Hey Siri New message Hey Siri message capital L capital O capital M capital L paw print emoji kissy face emoji red heart emoji that’s L O M L paw print emoji kissy face emoji red heart emoji got it ok
tae: hey Siri new messages new one ok? message L O M L paw print emoji kissy face emoji red heart emoji IN ALL CAPITALS NOW WHERE ARE YOU I REFUSE OK WAIT no caps siri you better be getting this like all the words and the emotion i’m saying right now ok send this message no wait let me start again wait did it send? ok send
tae: IN ALL CAPS NEW MESSAGE HEY IM I HAVEN’T OPENED MY EYES YET BUT I FELT AROUND IN THE BED AND UR NOT HERE AND THEN I SHOUTED FOR YOU AND YOU DIDN’T ANSWER ME AND THEN I TOLD SIRI TO CALL YOU AND YOU DIDN’T ANSWER WHERE THE FUCK ok no caps can Siri swear? question mark did she put a question mark? when i said that i hope she did ok send this message siri
tae: hey Siri ok omg what does Siri even stand for ok stop no not the point in caps now GIRLFRIEND WHERE ARE YOU WHERE ARE YOU I’M NOT OPENING MY EYES UNTIL YOU COME BACK WHERE ARE YOU
tae: WHERE ARE YOU
tae: WHERE ARE YOU
tae: WHERE ARE YOU
tae: WHERE ARE YOU
tae: WHERE ARE YOU
tae: WHERE ARE YOU
tae: WHERE ARE YOU
tae: WHERE ARE YOU
tae: WHERE ARE YOU
tae: hey Siri play mic drop by bts on youtube
tae: Siri are you listening to me
tae: Siri what the fuck can you do what i asked
y/n: wtf?
tae: New message no never mind hey Siri who sent me a message if it wasn’t my girlfriend i don’t want to know so don’t even tell me if it wasn’t my girlfriend hey Siri read that message to me hello hey hello why aren’t you doing it are you still typing or something hello if you’re still typing stop and send then play my fucking song
y/n: ?
incoming call from tae
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JIMIN -
jimin: rumour has it you left while i was asleep
y/n: it’s not a rumour when it’s fact
dumbass
jimin: so i guess i’ll just die then
y/n: i mean if you want
jimin: do i mean that little to you??
nvm don’t answer that
ur so evil
that’s like me leaving you in the house and setting it on fire while we’re playing hide and seek and ur the hider
y/n: no it’s not
jimin: yes it is
y/n: where is the fire in our actual situation?
jimin: in my heart?
y/n: dpmo
jimin: it’s always don’t piss me off never i love you deeply and truly
y/n: do something that is deserving of my love
jimin: i’ll send you 50k
y/n: you won’t
jimin: u right ☠️☠️
y/n: broke ass
jimin: ugly ass
y/n: if u miss me that bad just say that
jimin: i would rather be crushed by a hydraulic press and the video of it be used as a tiktok duet to a sped up episode of some doctor show
y/n: not reading that fucking essay you just sent me what the hell
jimin: just say ur illiterate?
y/n: just say you miss me?
jimin: NO
y/n: FUCK YOU
jimin: don’t swear that’s impolite
y/n: ur always impolite
jimin: fake news….
y/n: delusional….
jimin: i’m polite
y/n: sure
tell me you miss me and want to know where i am politely instead of whatever the fuck ur doing rn then
jimin: ok
i’m only doing this to prove a point rn
not that i actually care or anything LOL
y/n: yeah sure whatever
jimin: 𝓪𝓯𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓷𝓸𝓸𝓷 𝓶𝓪’𝓪𝓶,
𝓲𝓽 𝓼𝓮𝓮𝓶𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓵𝓮𝓯𝓽 𝓶𝓮 𝓸𝓷 𝓶𝔂 𝓵𝓸𝓷𝓮𝓼𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓲 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝔀𝓸𝓴𝓮𝓷 𝓾𝓹 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓪 𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓲𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓯𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓭 𝓪𝓷𝔂𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓲𝓷 𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓵𝓲𝓿𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓺𝓾𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓼 𝓲 𝓶𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓱𝓾𝓶𝓫𝓵𝔂 𝓲𝓷𝓺𝓾𝓲𝓻𝓮 𝓪𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓽𝓼 𝓪𝓼 𝓲 𝓵𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓰𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓮𝓯𝓾𝓵 𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓮𝓷𝓬𝓮 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓪𝓶 𝓶𝓲𝓼𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓭𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓵𝔂
y/n: you think i’m graceful >.<
jimin: as a fucking elephant
y/n: blocked
jimin: WAIT I DIDN’T MEAN IT COME HOME 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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YOONGI -
yoongi: bed is empty
y/n: that’s crazy omg?!
i wonder why
yoongi: wondering the same thing
y/n: look at us just a bunch of wonderers
yoongi: shut up
where are you 😕
y/n: love this hot and cold thing you’ve got going on rn
yoongi: where are you
y/n: no emoji this time SIGHSSSS
yoongi: where are you 🤬
y/n: ok not a mean emoji what the hell
yoongi: where are you 😆
y/n: ur so silly
and funny
my silly funny boyfriend i want to kiss you
yoongi: you could do that if you were here
where are you
y/n: down the road up the hill past the river
yoongi: ur not funny
where are you seriously
y/n: why?? do you feel like a one night stand
like a whore
do you have the sheets clutched to ur chest ur lipstick smeared hair a mess are you looking around confused wondering where i am do you feel like a slut waking up in a bed that’s not yours are you feeling used cuz i’m not by ur side as you wake?
yoongi: ???
wtf
no
this is my bed
our bed
in our home
ur so strange
where are you??
y/n: love when you miss me
yoongi: can you answer my question
or do i need to ask it for the seventh time
y/n: i answered
yoongi: be serious
ur not even in the house
it’s way too early to be out on ur own like that
y/n: way too early?
weren’t you the one begging me to wake up earlier this past week?
yoongi: yeah
wake up not leave the house and not tell me
y/n: potato potato
yoongi: that phrase does not work over text
y/n: whatEVER 🙄
yoongi: for the last time where are you?
y/n: at the door so come open it :p
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SEOKJIN -
jin: put ur hand up if you can relate to ur girlfriend leaving you in the dust (bed) all alone cuz she wants you dead and doesn’t care about you and probably wants to you to just die and be murdered
my hand is up btw
y/n: i just left
i’ve been gone for like 10 minutes max
jin: 10 minutes you haven’t cared about me
10 minutes for me to sit here and die
ALONE
ALL ALONE
y/n: you knew i had a meeting to go to
i told you this
jin: and you couldn’t take me??
we work at the same company they would of let me sit in
y/n: no we don’t???
jin: ok but we COULD
you know i could get you a job here at hybe
y/n: who wants to work at fuckass hybe??
jin: YOU
YOU are supposed to want to work at fuckass hybe
to be closer to me
so i can sit in on ur meetings
and so we can avoid problems like THIS
y/n: tf is the problem
jin: you LEFT ME
ME
KIM SEOKJIN
IN MY SLEEP FOR ONE
AND A COLD ASS BED FOR TWO
ALONE
y/n: ur a grown man
cope
jin: if i was jungkook you would of been here still
y/n: he’s a child
jin: he’s a grown man
y/n: no YOU’RE a grown man mr 30 something
jin: 30 something????
OH IM SICKKKKK you’d don’t even know my actual age
some girlfriend u are
do you even know what year i was born
y/n: a long fucking time ago
jin: real funny
y/n: BC
jin: bye
y/n: no talk to me i’m stuck in traffic and this driver has not said a word to me :(((
jin: you can STAY in traffic ALONE
y/n: i guess we twins
alone and all
jin: ur not funny
y/n: ur right..
but i am alone
just like you LMFAOOO ☠️☠️💀☠️💀
you can no longer send messages to this contact!
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NAMJOON -
namjoon: it’s like you’ve died
y/n: oh
namjoon: the indent of where you laid is still here the sheets wrinkled and stuff too
it’s like i’m a grieving husband who can move on who can’t accept that you’ve gone so i hold on to every trace of you that i can
the indent of where you lay being one of those said traces
pillows smell like you too
y/n: r u high? (hot)
namjoon: do you think we have communication issues??
y/n: no
pls send me a picture of ur face rn
i think ur high
namjoon:
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y/n: ur the cutest ever
and surprisingly not high lmao (take off ur clothes)
namjoon: thank you but not rn babe i’m trying to talk to you about something
y/n: about what joonie? (take off ur clothes)
namjoon: about commu
*communication issues
y/n: communication issues that we don’t have
also spelling mistake hello?? who are you rn
namjoon: i think we do have communication issues because
you left me alone
in the bed
you left the house
and didn’t tell me
💔😔
y/n: omg emojis
but yeah i did do that
namjoon: why?
y/n: you were sleeping
(but ur awake now so get naked)
namjoon: can one have one conversation at a time please
i can’t keep up right now
y/n: SIGHSSSS ok
kim namjoon get naked for me now
namjoon: i could be getting naked for you live in the flesh if you told me where you are
y/n: omg u would get naked for me in this convenient store??
say ong
namjoon: ong
y/n: YOU LYINNNNNNNNNNNNN
do you even know what ong means
bet you don’t 💀💀💀
namjoon: why are you at the convenient store?
y/n: i was hungry and the store was convenient
WOW IM SO FUNNY HILARIOUS 10/10 COMEDIAN
namjoon: the funniest
why didn’t you take me with you? it’s kinda late
y/n: you were sleeping
😴 just like that
i couldn’t wake you
you looked sososo peaceful
namjoon: babe
y/n: OK IM SORRY DON’T SHOOT ME
namjoon: are you on ur way back?
how close are you?
should i come and meet you??
y/n: all these questions
yet no stripping off clothes
there something wrong
namjoon: babe
y/n: namjoon
you have my location right?
namjoon: oh
yeah i do
i forgot about that
y/n: bet you did
too sleepy ur not thinking straight huh?
namjoon: 😅i guess so
you’re 2 minutes away
y/n: i am
namjoon: we don’t have communication issues
y/n: i’m aware
namjoon: yeah
y/n: still sleepy?
namjoon: yeah
y/n: cutie
will be there to tuck you in in 2 seconds sit tight
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JUNGKOOK -
jk: hi
jk: hi
jk: hi
jk: hi
jk: hi
jk: hi
jk: hi
jk: hi
jk: ur location is off btw
jk: do you know ur location is off?
jk: if you don’t know i’m just letting you know it’s off
jk: btw it’s off
jk: like not on
jk: and ur not in the bed
or at home
or answering ur phone
jk: hi
jk: hi
jk: hi
jk: hi
jk: hi
jk: hi
jk: hi
jk: hi
jk: did i make you upset or something
i’m really sorry if i did
please just call or message me back
jk: hi
jk: hi
jk: hi
jk: hi
jk: hi
jk: hi
jk: hi
jk: hi
jk: i called namjoon and he said he doesn’t know where you are
so i think this is the end of the world and we are all disappearing one bye one
when do think i’ll disappear???
or will i like be the last one left and like die of loneliness
OR you think i’ll disappear like spiderman did in that one move
i don’t wanna die i don’t wanna die
i’m gonna say that when i see my hands start to disappear
do you think it hurts
OHMUGOD BABE DID IT HURT WHEN YOU DISAPPEARED????
TELL ME TELL ME RIGHT NOW
BABE IF IT HURT YOU TELL ME
do you not have ur phone in the disappearing land
ohmygod i’m freaking out
this is what i imagine an overdose feels like
ofc i wouldn’t know cuz i’ve never overdosed but what i’m feeling in this current moment is what i think it would feel like yk?
i’m crashing out
i’m loosing it
this is the end of me
jungkook
jeon jungkook
i’m gone i’m going
i’m crashing
overdosing
ha like that one exo song !!
babe you like that song don’t you?
i’ll learn the choreo for you
also do you think i’ll go to heaven or hell when i die??
i hope if i go to hell ur there with me
not that i think you should go to hell of that i want you in hell
but like i just want us to be together wherever we are
like in all lives we live
physically and spiritually
but like what if there isn’t even heaven or hell and it’s just like nothing
like we are never conscious again
i’m crashing out again babe
ohmugid what if i never see you again
oHMUGOD BABE
IM SORRY
the last words i said to you were peanut butter sandwich
I DON’T EVEN LIKE PEANUTS
IM SORRY
BABE IM SORRY
DO YOU HEAR ME
DO YOU SEE ME
ohmygod i’m crashing
hold on
bam just peed on the floor
ohmygod wait here one second
jk: hi i’m still crashing out btw
💀☠️💀☠️💀☠️☠️💀☠️💀☠️💀💀☠️☠️💀💀☠️☠️☠️💀💀☠️☠️💀☠️☠️☠️💀💀☠️☠️☠️💀☠️💀💀☠️☠️💀☠️☠️💀☠️💀☠️💀☠️💀☠️💀☠️💀☠️💀
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
jk: hi
jk: hi
jk: hi
jk: hi
jk: hi
jk: hi
jk: hi
jk: hi
jk: ok i’m killing myself
crashed out
overdosed
heaven or hell i’m ready
i can’t take this torment any longer
y/n: what the actual hell jungkook
jk: HI BABY 😍💗💞🤭😘🌷💫🤩
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HOSEOK -
hobi: where u at?
y/n: mentally?
in a throupole with haechan lee and johnathan suhington
hobi: jonathan suhington goes hard
y/n: i make johnathan suhington hard
hobi: ok chill out
y/n: my fault i was having fun
i ❤️ johnny suh
and haechan
hobi: ur always talking about other men
are you indirectly trying to tell me something??
y/n: omg am i?
hobi: it feels like you are
y/n: maybe i am
hobi: do you want me to join nct?
y/n: fuck you got me 😔
hobi: i knew it
y/n: i’m sorry
hobi: no ur not
y/n: u right
every day i dream of 127 hobi realness
hobi: ur not getting it
y/n: booo
hobi: don’t boo me
y/n: boo seungkwan
hobi: stop
y/n: sorry
hobi: lie to me one more time
y/n: it’s not my fault i’m not sorry
hobi: maybe it’s not
yk what IS ur fault tho
y/n: what?
hobi: you not being in this bed
y/n: this man wonwoo jeonghan
also it’s 4 in the afternoon??
hobi: so??
y/n: bfr
hobi: 🧍‍♂️
y/n: i’m literally downstairs
hobi: you could of just said that
y/n: i thought that was a given?
hobi: no taken enhypen core
y/n: i thought you hated them?
hobi: i do
fucking stupid bitches
y/n: oh!
i think u don’t like them cuz they have what you lack
hobi: which is?
y/n: youth
hobi: bye.
u turn 30 and suddenly the whole word’s against you ?????
i’m sick
y/n: it’s that age getting to you i fear
hobi: ykw fuck you fuck downstairs and FUCK johnny suh
y/n: 😧
love writing for hobi and in my johnny era can you tell
tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @earth2ela @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @seokmyballs @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @meowgiz @jmnscutie @threeopossumsinacoat @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin @iammeandmeisiam @socksfirstalways @knjlvr06 @lailaisarmy @thvkives @xstfudaisyx @xxxanimangxxx @solstice34 @ml8dy @hoeforseoks @futuristicenemychaos @featjunranghae @jksgirlfrl @yeetedandoboi
310 notes · View notes
balletfilmss · 6 months
Text
ALL DA LADIES LUV YN!!
✸ pairing: jason grace x fem!athena!reader smau
✸ notes: im shamelessly addicted to social media aus & haven’t seen a SINGLE one for my boy…lets change that
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…now playing: full machine — gracie abrams
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yn.ln: nru…expect my therapy bills for those exams (ft. the world’s worst study buddy)
tagged: j.grace
view all comments
seaweed.brain: aren’t athena kids supposed to be…smart?
╰┈➤ yn.ln: @wise.girl COME GET HIM, HE’S OUT AGAIN
╰┈➤ wise.girl: PERCEUS
╰┈➤ seaweed.brain: AINT NO WAY—
j.grace: everyone see that? that’s MY gf who made a 100 on the advanced calc exam. MY GIRLFRIEND 🗣️‼️
╰┈➤ piedpiper: simp in capital red letters
╰┈➤ j.grace: loud and proud
j.grace: don’t hate on my studying skills, that was at like 2 am 😒
╰┈➤ yn.ln: it was NINE PM???
╰┈➤ j.grace: it most certainly WAS NOT
╰┈➤ yn.ln: do not take that tone with me.
╰┈➤ j.grace: yes ma’am, i’m sorry
teamleo_: who’s the cutie in slide 3? 🤭😏
╰┈➤ yn.ln: the book’s called the hunger games, thanks for asking! 🫶
╰┈➤ j.grace: @yn.ln IS IT BULLY YOUR BOYFRIEND DAY???
hazzzelnut: WAY TO GO BABE, SO PROUD OF YOU
╰┈➤ yn.ln: hazel ilysm my precious sweet darling angel 🫶🩷😚
piedpiper: ignore that blondie, she snuck out to see me once he was asleep 🥱😝
╰┈➤ yn.ln: shhhhh pipes, they’re not supposed to know
╰┈➤ wise.girl: PIPER HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME???
╰┈➤ seaweed.brain: I BEG YOU FINEST FUCKING PARDON???
…now playing: steal my girl — one direction
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j.grace: smart girl appreciation post!!! 🤍 (piper mclean dni)
tagged: yn.ln
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teamleo_: gods bless yn for dealing with that blue eyed stare…she’s the strongest soldier ✊
╰┈➤ yn.ln: i try 😔
yn.ln: I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU MY SWEET BOY 🩷
╰┈➤ j.grace: I LOVE YOU MORE PRETTY GIRL <3
piedpiper: giggling bc he doesn’t know that HE’S the side piece @yn.ln
╰┈➤ yn.ln: what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him
╰┈➤ j.grace: i will take this post DOWN
╰┈➤ yn.ln: nuh uh
seaweed.brain: okay, but annabeth can recite more digits of pi than yn 🤷‍♂️
╰┈➤ yn.ln: why are you such a hater
╰┈➤ wise.girl: and how many can YOU recite, percy, hm? 🤨
╰┈➤ yn.ln: GET HIS ASS ANNIE 🗣️🗣️
reyna_ara: i’ll always jump at the chance to look at some pictures of yn 🤭
╰┈➤ yn.ln: reyna ily
╰┈➤ j.grace: i’m blocking everyone but yn, leo, and like, my sister
╰┈➤ thaliyuh: do not think for a SECOND that i don’t also think you’re gf is hot (one chance, yn 🙏)
╰┈➤ j.grace: get out. all of you.
yn.ln: “all da ladies love leo!” no. all the ladies love yn, and their bfs want to be me 💪
╰┈➤ j.grace: i’m deleting this app.
yn.ln uploaded a story!
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2 replies!
@ seaweed.brain gag. me. with. a. spoon.
beth saw this & is on her way 😚
🏃💨
—————
@ j.grace. um. forever?? 🤭
well that’s the plan, isn’t it?
you know it, sweetheart
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yuriisclumsy · 4 months
Note
I'm so excited that more people started taking cale request!!!✧\(>o<)ノ✧
Anyway hiii! Can I have an enemy to lovers with cale henituse and fem.reader idk something cliche like a dance scene or one gets protective of the other or maybe a cute "oh shit I'm actually in love moment"
Sorry I'm bursting with ideas rn.~
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Love's Dance
Part 1 (You are here) | Part 2 | Part 3
𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 2,729
Authors note: You ask, and I shall deliver. PS. why did you give me such a good idea? like, I'm at 5k word for the overall thing, and I am not even done yet... (send help)
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The streets of Roan Kingdom's Capital were bustling like usual. The vendors selling their goods, children running around carelessly, mothers screaming at them to not get dirty, and the usual underground activity Arm did. 
I strolled through these streets, thinking of nothing and relaxing ‘til I get another mission. 
“That reminds me…Arm has been quiet as of late. Sigh…they are up to no good…” I spoke to no one in particular, walking back to the Quiet Isle lodge. 
Quiet Isle is an inn in an area a little off the center of the Capital. I stayed there for the past three weeks after finishing my last mission. The price to stay is cheap, while still being comfortable. It has comfortable rooms, a clear view, free breakfast, and most importantly, it wasn’t noisy at all! Bonus points for the innkeepers, as they have been nothing but sweethearts.  
All-in-all, a good Inn if you’re looking to get your coins worth. 
I went through the inn’s doors, a sweet aroma of lavender hitting my nostrils as I neared the front desk.  
The Innkeepers were an old couple, and the misses genuinely enjoyed the smell of lavender. That is why, as you walk through the inn, you’ll be met with an influx of light purples from the flowers. 
Reaching the desk, I was greeted by a senior woman whose smile could cure all kinds of child injuries. 
“Oh! Why if it is the youth I’m all too familiar with!” The old granny said, delighted to see me. 
 “Greetings, Granny Fes,” I vowed curtly with a small smile. “Have there been any new guests at the inn?” I asked as she extended her hand to give me a piece of candy. 
Receiving the small candy, I offered a small ‘thank you.’ She said a quick ‘You’re welcome!’ before responding to my question. “Yes, yes! I welcomed a few new guests shortly after you left this morning for a stroll!” she excitedly told me. 
“Two of the five I welcomed are a couple expecting a child! Isn't that exciting? Ouu, to be young again…” 
“Oh, please. I say you are still quite young!” I say to get her head out of that cloud. 
“Fufufu, you are too kind [Name].” Granny Fes pinched my cheek as she got a bit flustered. “I believe one day you’ll meet a handsome young man that is suited just for you.” She added. 
I blushed a little, “Oh no, I don’t think that will happen…” I pause for a second. “Do you really think I’ll get lucky enough to have that...?” I asked, not believing I would get someone special to spend my days with. 
“Don’t give me that!” Granny Fes yelled, as if scolding one of her own. “You are beautiful! Which man wouldn't dream of having a wife such as yourself!?” 
All I could do was smile in response. This is how I want things to always go. Living in a peaceful area, sharing memories with people I meet along the way, even starting a family. Arm is nowhere near that picture. And it will never be. 
But alas. Good things always end. 
“Ah! That reminds me. [Name],” she called my name and handed me an envelope, “You received mail from a young lad. He said it was urgent.”  
Looking at the envelope as Granny Fes left to continue her job, I had an ominous feeling, yet I couldn’t pinpoint what it was.  
I turned it around only to see Arm’s seal stamped on it. Arm only sends letters if it is an important mission, and based on the color of the seal, it is of utmost importance.  
I am already not liking this I thought, refusing to open the letter. Maybe if I were to pretend its existence was nothing but a useless paper, it would disappear. But alas, I needed to open the envelope. With worry present in my face I opened it with the seal. Inside was a letter addressing Agent White Gold.  
That code name. It is the thing I despised most in this world. 
To Agent White Gold, 
Play time is up, White Gold. You have been assigned a mission in the Henituse Territory. We have discovered the traces of the leader of the organization known as ‘True Arm.’ Your mission is to go there and find out who the leader of the organization is, dead or alive. It is your choice which one you pick.  
A carriage will come to pick you up at sunrise, so don’t miss it.  
Once you arrive at your destination one of our men will greet you and guide you to your resting location and hand you an envelope. Inside, you will find descriptions of the one we are looking for, alongside a list of individuals that we found to match the description of our target. 
Remember, Agent, we are counting on your success. 
Don’t disappoint us, 
Arm 
Dammit… The moment I receive some peace after working for them like a slave…! I angrily store the letter to shreds, as if it were them instead of the letter. All I wanted was to disappear from the eyes of those bastards. They took me from my home, changed me to fit in an identity they made…they just can’t leave me alone, can they? 
 
I wanted to say no. To be able to run away to a far corner of the world so they would never be able to find me. But it is impossible. No one leaves. Rather, they die. Dying was the only way out. 
Yet, I want to live. 
I looked at Granny Fes as she talked with a few guests that were checking out. At that moment I knew that if I tried to escape, they would get everyone I was surrounded by. She doesn't deserve that. Neither does her husband, or her children and grandchildren. 
It is best I comply. 
“Sigh…Once you're in, there is no escaping their grasp…”  
The sky was tainted in hues of blues, purples, and oranges. The sun was rising from the nap it took, and fully ready to greet us. 
A carriage arrived early at the Quiet Isle Inn. Inside stood Granny Fes and Gramps Liy right next to me. Their eyes expressed sadness when looking at me. 
“Why so sad?” I asked the couple. 
“Oh, it’s just…it’s just that we’re both sad you’re leaving so soon.” Granny Fes confessed. Her husband, a bit more stubborn, only scuffed. Granny Fes elbowed him hard with a smile still shooting at me, gaining a small scowl from Gramps Liy. 
“AGHEM,” he raised one hand to fake a cough, “I guess you will be missed.” 
I laugh at his antics. Deep down he cares, he just has an unconventional way of expressing his feelings. 
“I’ll miss the two of you.” I looked at them with a small hinge of sadness but kept a smile to reassure them. I looked outside to see the coachman wave his hand signaling that he was ready for departure. “It seems I must go,” I turned to them, “see you later?” 
“Yes, yes. Goodbye little lady.” Gramps Liy ‘shud’ me to the carriage as he and his wife stared at me opening the door of the carriage. 
“Farewell, sweetheart. Make sure to take good care of yourself. And remember to look out for good lads while you’re traveling!” Granny Fes nagged me like I was about to never come back. Although, she was right about that. I don’t think I will be able to come back if I want to protect them. 
I laughed and said a small ‘I will!’ as I climbed into the carriage. Closing the door the carriage started moving. I waved to the couple one last time before I could not see them anymore. 
Sighting, I took out the map I packed. Looking at my destination, it was a few days from the capital. “This is going to be a loong trip…” I commented, making myself comfortable for the journey ahead. 
I hope I get this mission done quickly, so I can get another vacation from Arm. I looked up at the ceiling. I mean…how hard could it be to find this ‘leader’ anyways? 
… 
An old butler walks dutifully around the state halls. In hand, he holds a tray with a fancy tea set with a steel dome keeping the food inside warm; its aroma could be smelled by the passing housekeepers with wet laundry. 
The butler knocked at a door, he did not have to wait long, as he got an immediate response from the person inside. Opening the door he says his greetings. 
“Good morning, young master. I brought breakfast along with your favorite drink.” He says as he places down the tray on the table close to the window. 
“Ah, thank you, Ron.” A male voice thanked the butler. 
“It is my pleasure, young master Cale.” The butler, Ron, bowed. 
The man, who is now identified as Cale, sat down on the table to enjoy his breakfast. 
“Young master, if I may…” Ron waited for permission to continue speaking. 
“*Sight* Just spit it out.” Cale said in an uninterested voice. This is another one of his tangents. Drinking the lemonade that Ron made as he thinks of Ron’s earlier endeavors. 
Ron smiled, “I have detected Arm activity within the city.” 
“PFF–” spilling all the lemonade on the cup, he looked at Ron with widened eyes.
What is Arm doing here?! They have more pressing issues to deal with! Like, figuring out who Real Arm is! Cale’s thought went haywire.
 
Ron took his handkerchief out and gave it to Cale to use. 
“What do you mean there is Arm activity in the city? Is it more bombs?” He asked while using the cloth given to him to clean the mess he made. 
He shook his head, “no, at least not yet. I have seen them snoop around the city for information. It would seem we left them a small lead.” 
“Not good…” 
“If you’d prefer, young master, I could go rabbit hunting.” 
Looking at Ron with a drop of sweat evident in his forehead, he reluctantly answered. “...do whatever you want.”  
“Hehe. Then I will take my leave.” He bowed before leaving the room without making a sound. 
Scary old man. He looked outside pouring more lemonade in his cup. It’s not a good sign if Arm is here. I need to prepare in case they strike. 
… 
“Hey, wake up! We’re almost there!” 
“WHAT? HUH–huh?” I got up from my seat at lightning speed, looking around in a daze. As I scoot closer to the window, I see the giant walls looming overhead. On top of one of the towers built in the wall was a flag. It was the Henituse’s family crest imprinted on it.  
I’m already in the Henituse territory! 
Getting closer at the entrance door of the city, the carriage stopped, as they had to do a check before letting anyone in. 
“Execute me, m’lady. May I have your identification paper?” A soldier asked me. 
Security check? When I traveled to other places, they didn’t ask for my identification but the coachman’s. 
I handed him the paper without complaint, receiving it right after he checked that everything was good. The other soldiers gave him a thumbs up after checking the carriage and the coachman. Without further interruption they let us through, wishing us a happy stay. 
“That was…something.” 
The coach man dropped me off at a tavern near the city square. Going upstairs to the second floor of the establishment, I sat down at a table near the edge of the balcony. Waiting for the man that was supposed to give me the information mentioned in the letter I looked out into the streets, I could see the liveliness of the people.  
They were too lively in my opinion. 
Hearing footsteps approaching my table I diverted my attention to them. I was greeted with a man wearing a hat with fancy clothing. 
“Hello, m’lady,” the man greeted by taking his hat off and vowing curtly. 
Didn’t know Arm also had rich allies. I thought, seeing the man's mannerisms. 
“Good evening,” I vowed slightly, “are you the one mentioned in the letter?” 
“Eager now, are we?” He sat down in front of me with a smug smile. He placed his hat down before taking out an envelope. He slid it across the table. As I grabbed it, I took out its content.  
It was a list of suspects. They all had red hair and were male. And that was it. No underground activities, no records, nothing. 
“That’s…it?”  
This is the only information they managed to find…seriously? I thought. Was someone able to sneak past Arm’s noses? How is that even possible? 
“Unfortunately, it is.” 
“Ha...!” I laughed at the absurdity of the situation. I looked up at the man after reviewing the list of suspects.  
“This is the only description we managed to find,” the smile on his face dropped into a frown, “only at the low cost of our scouts: a single spy was able to escape long enough to hide a piece of paper in a tree trunk…” he said. 
“....” I looked down at the list.  
To be able to kill all of our scouts…this is no meek foe. Just thinking of how strong they are sends shivers down my spine…  
“I have arranged a small room at an Inn close by here. I have left some equipment at your disposal. The location is on one of the papers in the envelope.” The man stood up and put his hat on, adjusting his suit a little before looking at me.  
“If you need anything else, I left a card at your place with instructions as to how you can contact me. Remember I’m at your service m’lady, Tata! ~” 
“I will keep that in mind.” 
Watching as he disappeared behind the doors of the second floor, I decided to order something to eat before heading to my fixed place. 
 
“…a festival?” Cale looked at the flier given to him. 
“That’s right,” Count Deruth, Cale’s father, said nonchalantly, “the festival will brighten the people's moods, as well as show that we are financially good.” 
Politics…. 
“Wait, here it says the ‘Henituse’s’ are attending…I don’t have to attend…right?” 
Deruth raised an eyebrow in question. “You don’t have to go.” 
“...” 
I must go. *Sight* My well-deserved rest has been postponed once again… can’t I catch a break for once? 
“On that note, I have reserved a spot on the city square where we will be presiding during the time,” he said as Cale gave him back the paper.  
“You don’t have to talk–or better said–you don’t have to even move. Just sitting there is enough.” 
Cale smiled at this I don’t have to move? Seems perfect to me! 
“I’ll be attending in that case.” 
“The festival will start in a few days. Be ready.” 
Cale exited his father’s study, walking back to his room. 
I need to tell Ron about this. It’ll be no surprise if Arm takes advantage of the festival. There stands a man with black hair waiting outside Cale’s room for him to come. 
“!” 
“Young master Cale!” The man runs towards him with puppy-like energy. 
“Choi Han, is there something you need?” Cale asked. 
“I heard from Ron that there have been suspicious activities happening in the city. So, I came to ask for permission to investigate.” Hans explained. 
Cale hummed. Strange. Usually, you would do these types of things without letting me know. Perhaps he thinks this is a bit dangerous and if he doesn't return, we know where to look? 
“You can do as you please, no need to ask for my permission.” 
“I see…thank you young master,” Han vowed, “I will report back immediately once I find anything!” As he said that, he began to leave. 
“Oh, and, Choi Han?” Cale spoke before he could fully leave. 
“Yes, Cale?” 
“If you find anything, make sure to report first. Don’t go around making havoc, got it?” Cale instructed. 
“...yes” he responded with a bit of thinking, knowing it was the best decision. 
Let’s see what they have in store for us. Cale entered his room, he’ll laze around until the festival actually begins. What a bother… 
… 
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corroded-hellfire · 1 year
Note
The year is 1986. Eddie is in danger of not graduating (again). Reader is his girlfriend, and she’s tired of him not taking his future seriously, so she breaks up with him. He finally decides to get his sh*t together and buckles down. But is it too late? Will he graduate? Will the love of his life take him back? Up to you, bb!
xoxoxoxo, @munson-blurbs 💚💚 PS ily
Anything for you, my love! I hope you enjoy the way I broke Eddie’s heart. It hurt me more than it did him. ily2💚
Words: 5.2k
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“Eddie, we’ve got to study,” you say. He’s kneeling behind you on his bed, pressing soft kisses along the back of your neck as you try to focus on the textbook laying open in your lap. 
“How am I supposed to concentrate, hmm? With you sitting on my bed, looking so beautiful,” Eddie says against your skin. 
“Okay,” you say, letting your book thump onto his sheets. “I’m gonna quiz you on stuff that’ll be on our finals. For every right answer, I’ll take off a piece of clothing. For every wrong answer, it’s an extra fifteen minutes of study time.”
“Fire away, baby.” Eddie lounges back against his wall and tucks his hands behind his head, a sinful smirk on his lips.
“Let’s start with English,” you say as you shift on the bed to face him. “What two Shakespeare plays are written entirely in verse?”
Eddie purses his lips, eyes searching his bedroom ceiling as if the answers were written across it in big bold letters. “Hamlet and…McBeth?” 
“King John and Richard II,” you say with a sigh. Eddie groans and lets his hands fall down to his lap. 
“Ehh, shit,” Eddie says. “But just because it had two answers doesn’t mean that’s half an hour of study time! That was one question, so only one fifteen-minute addition.”
“Fine,” you say, silently knowing this is all in vain anyway. Eddie’s been caring less and less about school lately, to the point where you’re afraid he’s going to fail senior year for the third time. “We’ll move onto biology.”
“Take your clothes off and I’ll give you a biology lesson.”
“Eddie,” you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. 
“Fine, fine, sorry. Go on.”
“What part of the brain deals with balance and coordination?”
One of his dark brown eyes squeezes closed and he tilts his head from side to side as if he’s deliberating what he wants for dinner. 
“The left part. No, wait, that’s a joke! I’m kidding, I’m kidding! Um…the frontal lobe?” Eddie winces, knowing that this was just a wild guess—it was the first part of the brain he could think of. 
“The cerebellum,” you say.
“Okay,” Eddie says, nodding his head. “I’ll remember that. The cerebrum controls balance and coordination.”
“The cerebellum,” you correct. 
Eddie groans, rolling the tension out of his neck before letting his head thump back against the wall. 
“Come on, hit me again.”
“Last one,” you say as you adjust your legs tucked underneath you. “History this time. What city was the first capital of the United States?”
“I know it wasn’t DC,” Eddie says, pointing his finger at you. “Hmm, what other cities were important then? Boston, Philly…Philly! Philadelphia!”
At the shake of your head, Eddie slumps down on the bed.
“New York City,” you tell him. 
“Ugh, fuck me.” Eddie rubs his hands over his face, and you give him a pat on the leg. 
“Not tonight, hot shot. Grab your books.”
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Spending your free period in the library, pouring over books, you’re jarred out of the world of microeconomics by the chair across the table from you screeching against the floor as it’s pulled out. A dark figure plops down in it, and you glance up to see the dark leather jacket and black Judas Priest t-shirt that you’d sat next to in last period English. Eddie runs a hand over his unruly curls and shoots you a smile.
“Hey, babe.”
“Eddie, what the hell are you doing here?” you get out through gritted teeth. You’re almost certain the pencil in your hand is going to snap in half. “You’re supposed to be in history.”
“Ugh, O’Donnell,” Eddie complains, dropping his head back. “I swear, she was there for half the shit she’s telling us about. God, I couldn’t take it anymore. She’s just droning on and on. Told her I had to take a leak and knew this is where I’d find my best girl.”
“Eddie!” You all but shout his name before remembering you’re in the library and you lower your voice. “Eddie, you’re already in danger of failing her class. Among others. Should you really be skipping class?”
“Babe, it’s been five minutes,” he says with a chuckle, his carefree attitude that you usually love grating on your nerves. 
“Okay. So, go back and pay attention now.” Your tone is sharp and curt, but you’ve put up with this long enough. 
“Trying to get rid of me?” Eddie asks, jutting out his lower lip in what is an admittedly adorable pout. He leans forward on the table, letting his hand slide over to rest on top of one of yours.
“Trying to get you to graduate,” you say, snatching your hand away. Your boyfriend watches you with wide eyes as you slam your book closed and shove it into your backpack. Slinging it over your shoulder, you stand up and nod your head towards the library door. “Let’s go.”
Eddie follows behind you like a lost puppy as you storm out of the library and stalk down the hall. Once you’ve turned down an empty hallway, you spin around to face him. The anger in your eyes takes him aback, and he shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans.
“You’re mad,” he says softly. 
“Yes, I’m mad,” you snap. “My boyfriend doesn’t seem to give a shit if he graduates high school or not.”
“I care,” Eddie defends weakly.
“If you cared, you’d be in class right now. Or would study with me when I ask—or at all! Jesus, Eddie, I’ve been trying for months to get you to take your future seriously.”
“My future with you is what’s most important,” Eddie says, hand reaching out for you. Hurt flashes across his face when you pull away, and it hurts you too. This isn’t what you wanted. You’ve never wanted to be the reason Eddie’s in pain. But you also can’t just sit by and let him do this to himself. 
“That’s part of the problem, Eddie. You’re so focused on me and not enough on you.” 
“Because I love you,” he says.
“I love you, too, Eddie,” you reply, tears starting to fill your eyes. “That’s why I’m so concerned about you. About your future.”
“I’ll go back to class,” Eddie says, taking a step closer to you. “I-I’ll study with you. Baby, I promise.”
“You’ve said that before.” You squeeze your eyes closed, resolving yourself to what you know you have to do. As much as you don’t want it. As much as it’s going to break your heart. “It’s not enough, Eddie.”
“Then what?” Eddie rests his hands on your upper arms. “Tell me what to do.”
“It’s too late,” you say, shaking your head. 
“W-What do you mean it’s too late?” But the dread in his eyes says he knows exactly what you mean. 
“You’re not taking your future seriously. I’ve tried so hard to help you, but there’s only so much I can push you. At some point you have to do it for yourself. I’m so tired of waiting for you to do it, though. It hurts me to sit here and watch you not care about you as much as I do.” 
“Sweetheart, please—.”
“Eddie, it’s over. We’re over.” 
Tears flood his eyes as his jaw hangs open. Eddie’s hands slip from your arms, and he stumbles back a step. You know the pain on his face must be reflected in your own. And maybe it means you’re a coward, but you can’t look at his broken expression anymore. Tucking your thumbs into your backpack straps, you turn around and walk down the empty hallway, away from Eddie.
Eddie feels numb. He’s walking around school in a haze. Friends try to talk to him in the hallway, but they sound like they’re underwater and Eddie can’t understand them. Gareth waves his hand in front of Eddie’s face, but he doesn’t even blink. Jeff grabs his shoulder, but Eddie doesn’t even feel it, he just keeps walking. It’s not until Dustin grabs Eddie by the zipper of his leather jacket and pushes him up against the lockers that the twenty-year-old snaps back to reality.
“What?” Eddie asks, big brown eyes blinking as he tries to focus on the shorter man in front of him.
“Are you okay? What the hell is going on?” Dustin asks. Eddie’s eyes find the floor and he shakes off Dustin’s hands. 
“She left me,” he mumbles. 
“What?” Gareth asks, leaning in to hear him better.
“She fucking broke up with me, okay?” His friends flinch as Eddie pushes himself off the lockers and runs his hands over his hair. They back away, giving him room to pace the small area around him. 
“Why?” Jeff asks, sounding half afraid to ask the question to his hot-tempered friend.
“She said I’m not taking my future seriously,” Eddie answers. “That I don’t seem to care that I’m failing classes. Again.” Out of the corner of his eye, Eddie can see his three friends share a look. He stops pacing and stares at them. “What?”
“I mean,” Jeff starts quietly, “she has a point.”
When Eddie just continues to stare, Dustin decides to speak up as well.
“She’s been trying real hard to help you, man. You haven’t seemed to care, though.”
“I…I care,” Eddie says. 
“When’s the last time she tried to get you to study?” Dustin asks.
“The other night.” Eddie remembers, thinking about how he failed your quiz. 
“And what did you do?” Dustin asks.
Eddie sighs and rubs a hand over his forehead. “Tried to have sex with her.” 
“This is probably a good thing,” Gareth says, shrinking in on himself when Eddie glares at him. “For you. So you can focus on school.”
Eddie scoffs. “She really think I’m gonna be able to focus on school after she shatters my heart like this? Fuck, I love her so much.”
“I’m sorry, man,” Jeff says. 
“Fuck this shit.” Eddie slams his fist against the lockers and strides down the hall, towards the exit.
When Eddie gets home, Wayne hasn’t left for work yet. He’s sitting on the couch, remote control in his hand as he points it at the small television and clicks through the channels. Eddie wrenches open the front door, dirty black boots stomping into the trailer before banging the door closed behind him. Wayne pauses his channel surfing to raise an eyebrow at his nephew.
“What’s the matter with you, boy?”
Ignoring the older man, Eddie strides down the hallway to his bedroom, footsteps so heavy they rattle the mugs hanging on the living room walls. Wayne was no stranger to Eddie temper tantrums—having raised him through puberty—but this is a level he hasn’t seen since the last time a letter from his father arrived. He gives it a few moments before deciding to see what’s going on with the brooding boy. Wayne hoists himself off the couch, groaning as his bones click and muscles tighten. 
The bedroom door isn’t fully closed, so Wayne swings it open to see Eddie lying flat on his back, staring up at the water-stained ceiling. He hadn’t even bothered to shed himself of the leather jacket or boots before plopping down. 
“I know I may not have taught you much in life, boy, but I know I taught you manners,” Wayne says. 
Eddie stays silent, which is never the case. That worries Wayne more than anything. 
“Eddie?”
“She dumped me.”
Wayne takes a moment to process what his nephew says. He places his hands on his hips and blows out a breath. 
“What happened?”
Eddie rubs his hands over his face before responding. When he does speak, his tone is bitter. “She said that I don’t care about my future. That she’s tired of sitting around while I’m out here being a dumbass.”
“She wouldn’t say that,” Wayne says with a shake of his head.
“Maybe not with those exact words.” Eddie forces himself to sit up, shoulders slumped. “But the same messaging.”
Sighing, Wayne sits down next to him and pats his shoulder. 
“I’m sorry to hear that. She’s a good kid.”
“I always told her that you like her more than you like me,” Eddie grumbles. 
“Only sometimes,” Wayne jokes with a small smile. “Now, you’re allowed to wallow for one day—two at the most. Then you get your ass in gear and get your act together.”
With a low groan, Eddie flops back down on the bed. “Don’t wanna.”
“Well,” Wayne says, pushing himself off the bed. “The girl is either gonna be right about you or wrong. It’s up to you which one it is.”
Wayne makes his way out of the bedroom and Eddie rolls over so he’s face down on his bed. He squeezes his eyes shut as the first of the tears begin to burn his eyes. The way his throat begins to tighten has Eddie gripping his blanket in his fists. Wayne’s words repeat in his head. Would you end up being right? Is everything you said about him true? Of course it is, he thinks to himself. He’s about to fail senior year for the third time—and he didn’t even care. Until now, he decides. Pushing himself off the bed, Eddie yanks his leather jacket off. He tosses it in the general direction of his closet, not caring where it lands as he bends down to pick his biology textbook from the floor. 
“Should be able to read this whole damn thing before finals.”
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Eddie’s friends hardly recognize him at lunch the next day. Instead of arguing over Lucas missing another Hellfire meeting for a basketball game and munching on pretzels, he has his nose buried in a book. 
“Now I’ve seen everything,” Gareth says, dropping his tray on the tabletop. His brows pinch together when Eddie doesn’t even lift his head. 
“Is that Eddie Munson reading a book?” Jeff asks.
“And not just a book,” Dustin says as he slides into the seat next to his Dungeon Master. He picks the corner up to take a look at the cover to confirm his suspicions, but Eddie’s quick to slap his hand away so he can keep reading. “Eddie is reading Romeo and Juliet.”
“Look at this cultured man,” Gareth says. Still, Eddie doesn’t lift his head. 
“How far do you think this will go?” Mike asks. “Think we could shit talk Metallica?”
“I’m reading, I’m not deaf,” Eddie says. 
“Is this about—” Lucas starts but Dustin elbows him in the ribs. 
Finally, Eddie raises his eyes from the book and sends a death glare to all of his friends. He slams the book closed and snatches it up before striding out of the cafeteria. Weren’t these the same assholes who had told him that you were right about him not taking his future seriously? But the moment they see him trying to improve himself, they decide to make snide jokes. Eddie grumbles as he makes his way to the library, banging the door open and ignoring the sneer from the librarian as he drops down at a table. With a sigh, he opens the book again and continues where he left off before he was rudely interrupted. 
Two periods later, Eddie’s pretty sure Mrs. O’Donnell is going to have a heart attack after he raises his hand and answers a question correctly. The crone takes a moment before continuing her lecture and Eddie smirks in self-satisfaction. 
Once Eddie gets used to his eyes being tired from reading so much, and his headaches from the information overloads start to abate, he manages to bring his grades up. It takes a couple of weeks for him to finally see the difference, but when he does, he feels something that he’s not sure if he’s ever felt before: pride. Being proud of himself is odd at first, and he smokes a bit more than usual to dull the sensation, but he soon comes to enjoy it and the pleasant buzz he feels has nothing to do with the weed. 
A few weeks out from graduation, Eddie’s lounging on the wall in front of the school, stretched out as the late spring sun warms the afternoon, reading the assigned chapter in The Outsiders. A shadow falls across the pages of his book and Eddie squints as he looks up, finding you standing next to him, thumb hooked in the strap of your backpack, a strained smile on your face. 
“Hey, stranger,” you say. 
Eddie pushes himself into a sitting position, letting his long legs dangle over the side of the wall. He closes his book, keeping a ring clad finger between the pages that he’s currently on. 
“Hey,” Eddie says. This is the first time you’ve talked to one another since that day in the hallway. Neither of you had even contacted one another to give back stuff that was at the others’ houses. Eddie knows there’s a handful of his t-shirts at your place and he’s not sure if it comforts him or causes him pain to wonder if you still wear them to sleep. And he knows exactly where the David Bowie tapes that you left in his room are—one is in his stereo right now. He’s managed to either hide or push down the pain from the breakup, but he still spends most nights falling asleep to Space Oddity or Ziggy Stardust. It even got to the point where Wayne had come into his room and said, “As glad as I am that I don’t have to listen to your screaming music, you’ve gotta stop wallowing in pity. Or at least listen to Elvis or somethin’ while ya do.”
“I saw you in the library last week. And I’ve heard that you’ve been working really hard,” you tell him. “I’m glad, Eddie. That’s amazing.”
“Uh, thanks,” he says, nodding his head. Under the guise of avoiding the bright sun, he ducks his head down and looks at his white sneakers. But really, he’s not sure if he can look you in the eye for more than a second at a time. The sadness had given way to anger, which gave away to an empty, aching pain in the pit of his stomach. “I, um, started because I didn’t want you to be right. Apparently, you weren’t the only one who thought I needed to get my shit together. But, uh, now I’m doing it for me. Trying to put me first.”
“Good,” you say. Eddie looks up to see you giving him a genuine smile. The one not many other people got to see. You’re not attempting to give him a pep talk or play some kind of game with him. Eddie can tell that you’re being authentic and really are pleased to see him succeeding. “You deserve it, Eddie. I’m proud of you.”
The words affect him more than he would’ve thought. His throat feels tighter and suddenly the spring day feels like it’s a blisteringly hot August afternoon. “Thanks,” he manages to get out. 
“And I—um, I’m sorry. I really hope you know that I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“I know.” And he does. Now. He’d had moments of thinking you had done it as a way of calling him stupid or pathetic. But once the haziness of the initial heartbreak wore off, he realized you would never think that, let alone be cruel enough to insinuate it. 
“I guess I’ll see you around, Eddie,” you say, offering him a small wave. He nods his head in acknowledgment and tries to get back to his book. But too much of you fills his head for him to be able to focus on what Ponyboy is talking about.
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Finals come and they go. Eddie waits with bated breath for the results, feeling more on edge, even with kicking up the pot smoking again. When Eddie sees that he’s passed every single exam, the high he feels is better than he could’ve imagined. Not quite as good as some drug highs and definitely nowhere as near the high you gave him, but it’s still good. For the first time in his life, Eddie is excited to come home and wave a school paper in Wayne’s face. In the past, it’d been a detention slip, a letter of reprimand from the principal, or a failed report card that he needed to have signed and returned. But this is something good. Better than good, Wayne tells him. 
“Looks like you’ve got to get yourself a cap and gown, boy.”
So, he does. When he puts them on the morning of graduation though, he groans at how the shade of green looks on him. Black was his best color, according to him, so something this bright just wasn’t him. 
He strolls over to his stereo near the window and firmly presses the play button. Heroes by David Bowie fills the small bedroom as Eddie takes another look at himself in the mirror. No one would look good in this color, he thinks. Well, he muses, that’s not true. You would look good in this color because it’s impossible for you to ever look anything less than breathtaking. 
I, I will be king 
And you, you will be queen
Eddie sighs and turns away from the mirror. Grabbing his keys off of his bedside table, Eddie clicks the pause button on his stereo before heading down the hallway. 
“See ya at the ceremony, old man,” Eddie says to his uncle before he’s out the trailer door. 
Only the graduates and school faculty get there this early, so the parking lot is relatively empty when Eddie pulls in. He hops out of his van and sees Jeff getting out of his car a few spaces over. 
“Glad to see you look as awful as I do in this shit,” Eddie says as he makes his way over to his fellow Hellfire member. 
“Black robes would’ve been brutal under this sun though, dude,” Jeff replies.
Eddie shrugs because he knows his friend is right. Together they walk towards the football field, a place Eddie actively tried to avoid all the years he spent here. It looks like most of the students are here already. Not long after Eddie spots Jason Carver straightening his tie, even though it’s under the gown, all the students are herded into the gymnasium to wait for the ceremony to begin. The gym smells even worse than normal with the whole senior class shoved inside. Eddie spies you off towards a corner, laughing about something with Nancy. It wouldn’t surprise him if you’re trying to make her laugh to take her mind off of the valedictorian speech she’s about to give. Eyes taking in how you look in the green cap and gown, Eddie knows he was right before; you are the only one who looks drop dead gorgeous in the graduation garment.  He knows his eyes have been on you for too long, but he can’t bring himself to tear them away.
“So, what’s going on there?” Jeff asks, seeing where his friend’s gaze lies. “You did what she wanted, right? Are you going to try and get back together with her?”
Eddie sighs and finally breaks his gaze away from you. Instead, he looks up into the rafters of the gym, squinting as the bright lights shine down.
“I don’t really think this was a ‘if you fix this, we’ll get back together’ type of situation,” Eddie says. “Besides, it’s been months. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s been on dates with a bunch of different guys by now.” 
“You still love her, though.” It’s not a question from Jeff, it’s a statement. A fact that was as obvious as the scuff marks on the floor of the gym. 
“Yeah,” Eddie says, not adding anything further. 
“Shouldn’t you at least try then?” Jeff asks. “You did all that hard work.”
“But I didn’t do it for her,” Eddie answers with a shake of his head. “I did it for me.”
“But you still did it,” Jeff points out. “It won’t be in vain either way, man, because you’re here right now. About to graduate. I’m just saying you should talk to her. See where things stand.”
“Maybe,” Eddie says with a sigh. 
Mrs. O’Donnell bustles into the room—well, as fast as she can at her age. Taking stock of the children around the gym, she claps her hands together to get their attention.
“Okay, okay, everyone. Time to line up. We’ll be starting soon.”
Jeff and Eddie let themselves be herded with the rest of their class and listen half-heartedly at instructions shouted at them as they make their way back outside. 
Once the ceremony starts, it’s long and boring. Nancy’s speech isn’t as bad as Eddie expected, though. But Principal Higgins has to talk, then just about every other school official that Eddie swears he’s never seen in the front office even after all the time he’s spent in there. Then the never ending list of names begins. Of course all the names are familiar to Eddie, but that doesn’t mean he cares enough to watch each of them walk across the stage, shake hands, and get their diploma. There are only a select few people that Eddie actually pays attention for. 
“Nancy Wheeler.”
“Robin Buckley.”
“Jason Carver.” Eddie pretends to gag.
“Chrissy Cunningham.”
“Jeff Donaldson.”
Then it’s your turn. Eddie can’t take his eyes off of you or the big grin on your face as you hop up on the stage and go through the long line of people none of you had ever heard of to shake their hands. Your eyes light up as your diploma is handed to you. Eddie doesn’t even realize he’s smiling along with you until his cheeks begin to ache. That settles it, he thinks. I have to talk to her. 
“Eddie Munson.”
Hearing his own name called over the loudspeaker jars him out of his thoughts. He’s distantly aware of people cheering for him as he makes his way to the stage, but it feels too weird to be real. People didn’t even cheer for him at Corroded Coffin shows. Eddie takes the steps up to the stage two at a time and forces a pleasant smile to his lips as he shakes Principal Higgins’ hand. The rest of the faces become a blur as he moves from person to person until he finally gets his diploma. He grins at the simple rolled up paper in his hands. It’s just a blank piece of paper until his real diploma comes in, he knows, but it means so much more. It’s proof that he did it. That he graduated at long last. The now-familiar pride swells up in him as he heads back to his seat among the students in the green sea of their robes. 
When the ceremony finally comes to an end, there’s hugging and crying and squealing coming from all around the football field. Eddie makes his way out into the parking lot where families are taking photos with their graduates, all smiles and congratulations. Wayne’s truck is hard to miss in the parking lot; by far the oldest vehicle there. Eddie heads in that direction and is greeted by a beaming uncle.
“M’so proud of you, boy.” Wayne pulls Eddie into a hug, which wasn’t a usual occurrence in the Munson household. “You put your mind to something and ya did it.”
“Thanks,” Eddie says, smiling sheepishly. 
“Congratulations.”
The familiar voice coming from behind him has Eddie spinning around so fast he hears his neck crack.
“Uh, thanks,” he says. “You too.” 
“C’mon, let me get a picture of the two of you,” Wayne says, pulling a camera that looks older than Eddie out of his pocket. 
Eddie is about to protest, not wanting to make you uncomfortable or feel obligated, but you’re looping your arm through his before he can even open his mouth. You tilt your head, close to Eddie’s shoulder but not quite touching, and smile prettily for the camera. Eddie musters his best look for the picture as well, but on the inside, he’s cringing as he imagines what that picture must look like.
“Perfect,” Wayne says. He unlocks his truck and tosses the camera inside. “I’ll see you later, Eddie?”
“Okay,” Eddie says.
Wayne pulls Eddie in for another hug before enveloping you in one as well.
“I’m real proud of both of you,” he says.
“Thanks, Wayne,” you reply.
Wayne climbs into his truck and gives the two of you one last wave before heading out of the parking lot. 
“So, uh,” Eddie starts at the same time you say, “So, listen.”
Eddie chuckles and nods his head at you. “You first.”
“Oh, I, um, was just going to ask if you were going to the party tonight. At Cat’s place.”
“I hadn’t really planned on it,” Eddie says as he unzips the graduation robe. “Why?”
“Well, uh, I—I was wondering if maybe you’d want to? I mean, I-I’ll be there. But if you don’t wanna, I totally understand.”
“You want me to?” Eddie asks, raising his eyebrows at you as he slips his hands into the pockets of his black jeans. 
“I do,” you say, a shy look that Eddie is unaccustomed to on your face. “Like I said, I get it if you don’t want to. But I had to at least ask.”
“I guess it wouldn’t kill me to go for a little while. Might be able to sell.”
“You don’t want to celebrate?” you ask. “Dance and drink?”
“Of all people, you should know better than anyone that I don’t dance,” Eddie says with a small smile. 
“But you drink,” you point out. 
“Why do you want to spend time with me?” Eddie asks, tilting his head to the side, like a puppy wondering what it’s human just said. Better to ask bluntly and get a clear answer then try to piece one together in his mind. 
“I need a reason?”
“Kind of. After you dumped me? Yeah, you do.”
“I miss you,” you admit, so quietly that Eddie almost misses it. “I’ve missed you from the moment I left you standing there in that hallway. So many times I almost caved and begged you to take me back. But then I’d see you studying, and it would remind me that you need to focus on you. And you did. Look what you accomplished. I’m really, really proud of you, Eddie.”
“Not bad for the school freak, huh?” Eddie asks, the beginnings of a smirk curling his pink lips. 
“I think you need a new nickname,” you muse. “We’re not in school anymore.”
“Maybe we can come up with one at the party tonight,” Eddie says, causing your face to light up in excitement. 
“Really? You’ll go with me?” you ask, eyes widening in hope.
“I’d be pretty dumb not to.”
“You’ve always been far from dumb, sweetheart,” you tell him. Hesitantly, you reach out and lace your fingers with his. “I think I came up with a new nickname for you, too.”
“Do tell,” Eddie says. 
“No more Eddie the Freak or Eddie the Banished,” you say, imitating Eddie’s Dungeon Master voice. “You are now Eddie the graduate.”
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nofomogirl · 9 months
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Good Omen's problem with having two canons
They're fundamentally different. That's the problem. That's my point.
For quite a while I focused almost exclusively on the new season of Good Omens, but now I am slowly delving into analysis that takes the entire show into account, and I've encountered a little obstacle. Namely, things from S1 can be really tricky to interpret.
Fair warning: this post is going to zig-zag between various points but I want you to trust me and take this scenic route with me. It will take us somewhere eventually, I promise.
The Arrangement
It's one of the core elements in the Good Omens universe and at the same time a perfect example of the issue I want to discuss. So let's have a closer look together.
In the book, the Arrangement is presented to us in two passages:
the first one, where it is first - very briefly - mentioned:
Aziraphale had tried to explain [free will] to him once. The whole point, he'd said - this was somewhere around 1020, when they'd first reached their little Arrangement - the whole point was that when a human was good or bad it was because they wanted to be.
and the second one, where it is properly introduced and explained:
The Arrangement was very simple, so simple in fact, that it didn't really deserve the capital letter, which it had got for simply being in existence for so long. It was the sort of sensible arrangement that many isolated agents, working in awkward conditions a long way from their superiors, reach with their opposite number when they realize they have more in common with their immediate opponents than their remote allies. It meant a tacit non-interference in certain of each other's activities. It made certain that while neither really won, also neither really lost, and both were able to demonstrate to their masters the great strides they were making against a cunning and well-informed adversary. (...) And then, of course, it had seemed even natural that they should, as it were, hold the fort for one another whenever common sense dictated. Both were of angel stock, after all. If one was going to Hull for a quick temptation, it made sense to nip across the city and carry out a standard brief moment of divine ecstasy. It'd get done anyway, and being sensible about it gave everyone more free time and cut down on expenses.
In the show, the Arrangement is presented to us in two original scenes in the cold opening of S1E3:
(I am quoting most relevant dialogues only)
537 AD, Wessex:
C: So we're both working very hard in damp places and just canceling each other out? A: Well, you could put it like that. It is a bit damp. C: Be easier if we both stayed home. If we just send messages back to our head offices saying we'd done everything they'd asked for, wouldn't it? A: But that would be lying. C: Eh, possibly, but the end result would be the same. Cancel each other out. A: But my dear fellow... well, they'd check. Michael's a bit of a stickler. You don't want to get Gabriel upset with you. C: Oh, our lot have better things to do than verifying compliance reports from Earth. As long as they get paperwork they seem happy enough. As long as you're being seen doing something every now and again. A: No! Absolutely not! I am shocked that you would even imply such a thing. We're not having that conversation, not another word!
1601 AD, The Globe Theatre:
A: I have to be in Edinburgh at the end of the week. A couple of blessings to do. A minor miracle to perform. (...) C: I'm meant to be heading to Edinburgh too this week. Tempting a clan leader to steal some cattle. A: Doesn't sound like hard work. C: That's why I thought we should... Well, bit of a waste of effort, both of us going all the way to Scotland. A: You cannot actually be suggesting what I infer that you are implying. C: Which is? A: That just one of us goes to Edingburgh, does both. The blessing and the tempting. C: We've done it before. Dozens of times now. The Arrangement- A: Don't say that! C: Our respective offices don't actually care how things get done. They just want to know they can cross it off the list.
S2 doesn't actually reference the Arrangement. But it does reuse the dialogue about free will where the 1020 date is dropped. We will get back to it.
The challenge of adapting Good Omens
Good Omens shares a certain characteristic with all of Terry Pratchett's solo books I've read - it couldn't care less about "showing instead of telling". Which I love, just to be clear. A book is a written medium. It's made with words and one of words' major strengths is that you can use them to just tell things point blanc.
Good Omens does it a lot and it's fantastic.
Look at that second passage from the book I quoted earlier.
From just those few sentences we learn a lot about the relationships between:
Heaven and Hell (opponents and competition)
Aziraphale and Crowley (two individuals in the same position and in direct contact with each other)
Aziraphale/Crowley and Heaven/Hell (field agent and a remote HQ that are not in direct contact)
Aziraphale/Crowley and Earth (two individuals and a space they live in)
Heaven/Hell and Earth (a board where the game is played, only winning or losing matters, what actually happens on a board does not)
It's really an extra condensed worldbuilding gem sprinkled with humor, so it's no surprise it's become one of the most iconic passages from the book.
I mean, just browse through some interviews with David and Michael - especially the ones from 2019 - where they explain what Aziraphale and Crowley are about. You'll be hard-pressed to find any where they don't reference that specific paragraph, consciously or otherwise.
But it's only this neat on the pages of the book, where narration like this takes mere seconds to absorb. It's impossible to convey the same information in a visual medium with anywhere near the same efficiency.
The fact that the majority of Good Omens is like this was, in my opinion, a main challenge the adaptation faced. The book is very narration-heavy. It's full of fun facts about characters, side jokes, hilarious comments, etc. Some of that precious material was salvaged by introducing God as a narrator, but there was only so much of it you could squeeze into a TV show. The rest had to either be fit into dialogues or lost in translation from the written medium to the visual one.
Obviously, in the case of the Arrangement, it was the dialogues.
Book canon and show canon
We all know they're not the same. Neil Gaiman also pointed it out several times. But I think our mistake is that we still tend to think about them as complementary.
Look at the Arrangement again. The show canon seems to merely expand on the book canon. Add extra details and fill in the blanks. The Arrangement works the exact same way, except now we also know more about how it started.
If we compile what we know from the book with what we know from the show, we get a more detailed timeline:
Crowley first proposes the Arrangement in 537 (show).
The Arrangement starts in 1020 (book), ie. Aziraphale finally agrees to it (show - deduction); we don't know for sure if it's a "basic version" (not getting in each other's way), or a "full version" (doing each other's jobs) but we can assume it's the former.
In 1601 "full version" of the Arrangement is in place for some time (they've done it dozens of times) but Aziraphale still objects and needs convincing.
But read that description from a book once more.
Does it really fit into the version of events shown in the TV series?
The Arrangement in the book is something that just happened. A natural, and in a way inevitable result of Aziraphale and Crowley's circumstances. We are never told who came up with it first because it doesn't matter. Because it could have been either of them. Because after five millennia on Earth, they were both ready to do it. They were both of the same mind. For all we know it might have been an unspoken agreement all along!
But for the show, the creators had to come up with a good reason for the Arrangement to be discussed out loud. And what could be a more natural situation for someone to describe and explain an idea than trying to sell that idea to someone else?
For that practical reason - among many others, no doubt - the Arrangement is not only explicitly Crowley's idea, but an idea Aziraphale vehemently rejects at first. He needs to be convinced and even when he finally relents he's never entirely comfortable with it. He keeps objecting and it requires Crowley's constant effort for them to keep cooperating in any way.
The fact that Aziraphale is reluctant gives Crowley a perfect reason to keep convincing him ie. talk about the Arrangement. But the fact that he needs to explain and keep convincing Aziraphale means that Aziraphale is no longer a person who understands the same things and feels the same way.
That is a huge change.
Of course, you may say that what I've written about the Arrangement in the book is just my interpretation. It's true that technically there's nothing there that would contradict the events from the show in any way. The thing is, the events in the show aren't very compatible with the overall characterization of the ineffable duo in the book.
Evolution of Aziraphale and Crowley
You might have read that our leading pair was originally conceived as a single character that Neil and Terry eventually decided to split into two separate individuals.
My reaction when I first learned about it was: "Of course they were! That makes so much sense!" Because honestly, as a person who watched the show first and then read the book, I was surprised at how few differences there were between the two in the original text. If you squint your eyes really tight, you can see how book!Aziraphale and book!Crowley are two versions of the same character. They're far more similar than their show versions.
Most importantly, their attitudes toward Heaven and Hell are pretty much identical. Perfectly mirrored in every regard. What Hell is for Crowley, Heaven is for Aziraphale. What Hell is for Aziraphale, Heaven is for Crowley. In. Every. Possible. Way.
Allow me to present some evidence from the book.
Exhibit #1: the end of the scene where Crowley convinces Aziraphale to interfere with Warlock's upbringing
'You're saying the child isn't evil of itself?' he said slowly. 'Potentially evil. Potentially good too, I suppose. Just this huge powerful potentiality, waiting to be shaped,' said Crowley. He shrugged. 'Anyway, why're we talking about this good and evil? They're just names for sides. We know that.' 'I suppose it's got to be worth a try,' said the angel. Crowley nodded encouragingly. 'Agreed?' said the demon, holding out his hand. The angel shook it, cautiously. 'It'll certainly be more interesting than saints,' he said. 'And it'll be for the child's own good, in the long run,' said Crowley. (...)
When Crowley first points out that good and evil are just names for sides, and then insists it's something they both know, Aziraphale doesn't react in any way. That's because these aren't things that book!Aziraphale disagrees with. He does indeed know it and doesn't deny it.
Also, please note just how cynical the angel is here with his comment that influencing the Antichrist would be a more interesting project than influencing saints!
Both would be rather OOC for show!Aziraphale.
Exhibit #2: the scene just after Warlock Dowling's birthday party, when it becomes evident he is not the Antichrist
'You said it was him!' moaned Aziraphale (...) 'It was him,' said Crowley. (...) 'Then someone else must be interfering.' 'There isn't anyone else! There's just us, right? Good and Evil. One side or the other.' He thumped the steering wheel. 'You'll be amazed at the kind of things they can do to you, down there,' he said. 'I imagine they're very similar to the sort of things they can do to you up there,' said Aziraphale. 'Come off it. Your lot get ineffable mercy,' said Crowley sourly. 'Yes? Did you ever visit Gomorrah?' 'Sure' said the demon. 'There was this great little tavern where you could get these terrific fermented date-palm cocktails with nutmeg and crushed lemongrass-' 'I meant afterwards.' 'Oh.'
Can you imagine this kind of exchange in the TV series? Can you imagine show!Aziraphale being this realistic about Heaven, and show!Crowley so naive about it? There's no way.
Show!Aziraphale genuinely believes that Heaven is good at its core.
Book!Aziraphale knows Heaven isn't any different than Hell and would punish him just as ruthlessly and unfairly as Hell would Crowley.
Show!Crowley understands both Heaven and Hell on a very deep level and is highly aware of their true nature.
Book!Crowley buys a piece of celestial propaganda about ineffable mercy and actually expects Heaven to be forgiving.
Let the magnitude of that difference sink.
Exhibit #3: same scene, a bit further
'So all we've got to do is find it,' said Crowley. 'Go through the hospital records.' The Bentley's engine coughed into life and the car leapt forward, forcing Aziraphale back into the seat. 'And then what?' he said. 'And then we find the child.' 'And then what?' The angel shut his eyes as the car crabbed around the corner. 'Don't know.' 'Good grief.' 'I suppose (...) your people wouldn't consider (...) giving me asylum?' 'I was going to ask you the same thing. (...)'
This is just a cherry on top, really.
Yes, in the book, when things go pear-shaped, both Aziraphale and Crowley consider seeking asylum on the opposite side.
Do you need more proof that book canon and show canon really aren't as compatible as they may seem?
Free will
As promised, let's get back to that dialogue because while it may not be obvious at first glance it really illustrates perfectly the problem arising from balancing between two canons.
Here is the full quote from the book:
Aziraphale had tried to explain [free will] to him once. The whole point, he'd said - this was somewhere around 1020, when they'd first reached their little Arrangement - the whole point was that when a human was good or bad it was because they wanted to be. Whereas people like Crowley and, of course, himself, were set in their ways right from the start. People couldn't become truly holy, he said, unless they also had the opportunity to be definitively wicked. Crowley had thought about it for some time and, around about 1023, had said, Hang on, that only works, right, if you start everyone off equal, OK? You can't start someone off in a muddy shack in the middle of a war zone and expect them to do as well as someone born in a castle. Ah, Aziraphale had said, that's the good bit. The lower you start, the more opportunities you have. Crowley had said, That's lunatic. No, said Aziraphale, it's ineffable.
And here, for comparison, is how it was reused in S2E3:
A: There is a stolen body in that barrel! This is wicked! C: Oh, I'm down with wicked! Anyway, is it wicked? She needed the money. A: That is irrelevant. Look, I am good. You, I'm afraid, are evil. But people get a choice. You know, they cannot be truly holy unless they also get the opportunity to be wicked. She is wicked. C: Yeah, that only works if you start everyone off equal. You can't start someone off like that and expect her to do as well as someone born in a castle. A: Ah, but no, no. That's the good bit. The lower you start, the more opportunities you have. So Elspeth here has all the opportunities because she's so poor. C: That's lunacy. A: No, that's ineffable.
I'll be honest with you - I didn't like that scene in the show. It felt jarring and off. Aziraphale was acting like it was his first day on Earth and it was frustrating to watch.
Then, on one of the rewatches, just as I was rolling my eyes at "that's ineffable", a bulb lit in my brain. That line didn't work there because it wasn't created to be there! In the book and in S1 "it's ineffable" was kind of Aziraphale's catchphrase but in S2 it only appears this once. More importantly, in the book and S1, the fact that the angel would say that was all a build-up to the scene when he threw it in Heaven's face at the Tadfield Airbase. Using that word in S2 was like trying to make a running joke that has already reached its destination run again.
And just like that one line the entire dialogue didn't fit because it wasn't meant to be there. It was created for an entirely different context.
What's the difference?
Firstly, book!husbands' conviction was very shallow and it wasn't uncommon for both of them to spout slogans without meaning them. Therefore, book!Aziraphale's words didn't carry that much weight. The very fact that the conversation took place at the same time they formed the Arrangement tells us something about how serious he was. But show!Aziraphale's relationship with his beliefs is different, so when he says things like that it's a much bigger deal.
Secondly, the book explicitly states that Aziraphale and Crowley only developed free will on Earth, due to extended exposure to mankind. The show never really makes a stand on the matter but based on what we've seen so far I think we can safely assume that angels and demons are capable of making their own choices as much as humans do.
In other words, in its original context, the conversation was just Aziraphale talking about a concept he didn't fully grasp, quoting propaganda he didn't fully subscribe to. He was being ignorant and mildly obnoxious in an endearing way.
But using the same dialogue verbatim in the Resurrectionist carried a completely different meaning. Aziraphale who utters it in the show has no reason to be so ignorant about free will. Aziraphale who utters it in the show genuinely tries to defend Heaven. Most importantly, Aziraphale who utters it in the show, doesn't just idly bicker with his friend about general things but is judging an actual human individual that's right in front of them. That, more than anything else, makes it sound heartless and ignorant.
What is the problem with having two canons, exactly?
It's time to wrap things up.
In the opening paragraphs, I've mentioned that I've noticed the issue while interpreting scenes from S1, and yes, that was the case and I do believe that the existence of two canons is especially problematic for S1. That's because pretty much every scene in S1 is potentially like that dialogue about free will in S2, except subtler and harder to spot.
A grand majority of what we see and hear in S1 comes directly from the book. But while words and actions were kept, in some instances things that gave them their original meaning might no longer be valid in the show universe. Sometimes they easily take new meaning, and we don't even notice. But sometimes there's this dissonance that's not as easy to work around.
S1 deviated from the book and created its own canon. But the difference didn't seem to go very deep and it seemed perfectly reasonable to use some trivia from the book to shed some extra light on the content of the show. I used to do it in my head, even though I was aware of the changes that were made.
But S2 expanded the show canon so far beyond what was in the book that I'm really not sure it makes sense to compile them anymore.
There are a lot of things that were only explicitly stated in the book that I keep clinging to. But perhaps it's time to let go...
Thank you for your patience.
I know all of the above isn't exactly a revolutionary discovery, but I needed to get it off my chest before writing anything else.
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