#i am however glad that i never posted any fanart i made for it because it is. objectively. very bad and unfunny

[ralseinumberonebiggestsupporter]

ok i bet you'll NEVER guess what fandom i was in before getting back into utdr

[iamnmbr3]

Hey! This is a bizarre ask but hopefully a welcome one after *gestures at the destruction and fire*. I’m completely new to the Loki/thorki fandom, having essentially come in via the exit door by watching the Loki tv series first. I was honestly just watching it for junk value to have something in the background while I knit. However, when I realized that I didn’t understand anything by the middle of Ep. 1, I went back to watch Thor 1 so I could get what was going on. And HOLY SHIT I was utterly captivated by Loki’s character in the original movie, as well as by the Loki-Thor and Odin family dynamics. I’ve now watched through the films and have been increasingly disappointed by the portrayal of Loki (since Avengers 1 frankly) save a few glimmers of good characterization here and there.

I can’t believe that I’m getting myself into another queer coded (and now more than coded wtf) “villain” with a tragic backstory who’s done dirty by the fandom at large, but here we are! I’m also super into thorki because goddamn… they sure do have a Dynamic™.

So I guess my question is, what is actually good here? I feel like I’ve been trying to fight my way back to Kenneth Branagh!Loki, and have been largely unsuccessful within canon content. Do you have suggestions for a newcomer re: fics, fanart, and meta that actually treats Loki seriously? (and thorki as well?)

Hey! Welcome! Sorry about the mess *gestures at the garbage fire that is the TVA Show The Larry Show The "Loki" Show*

And this isn't a bizarre ask at all. It was really nice to receive actually! And yeah! I'm so glad you went back and watched the originals. The TV Show character is a completely new character played by the same actor who has nothing in common with the original character (who yes is absolutely fascinating and captivating and multilayered). Honestly I just think of the tv character as Larry, Loki's dumb lookalike cousin bc they have nothing in common lol. So glad the show led to you discovering good content...and thorki. And yeah Thor 2011 is amazing! It's so underrated. If you want meta relating to that and also just gushing about the film you can def check out my Thor 2011 tag.

My thorki tag of course has thorki stuff including art etc. I've also got an art tag which has both thorki and non-thorki works. If you want fic recs you can look in my fic rec tag which has a bunch of good stuff both thorki and gen.

Also here are some good thorki fics to start out with that I've really enjoyed. Most are ones I read early on when I just discovered the ship. Also @illwynd has a great thorki blog btw that you should def check out (and also their sideblog @throwbackthorki). Edit: I’ve also added some gen fic recs.

Thorki Fic Recs:

Chaos War by astolat (words: 34,203 | rating: E)

It was never easy to find Loki when he wanted to hide, but he wasn't doing a particularly good job of it at the moment. Probably he didn't think anyone from Asgard would be wasting their time hunting for him while the shining ones churned their way steadily through all the realm.

Loyalty at Any Price by seidrade (words: 22,663 | rating: E )

“This whole time, I’ve been searching the Nine Realms— alone— for answers to questions I barely know how to ask. I thought Heimdall at his watch, our father upon the throne, and most grievously… I thought you lost to me forever.” Thor’s resurgence of anger gives way to something like despair. He can’t tell whether he wants to pummel Loki into one giant bruise, or hold him and weep like a child.

When Thor returns to Asgard and exposes Loki’s deception, his demands for answers and Loki’s reluctance to give them soon bubble over into a cathartic confrontation.

Born to be Kings by Kadorienne (words: 66,618 | rating: T)

When the princes of Asgard made their ill-fated jaunt to Jotunheim, Odin arrived to fetch them before the frost giant grabbed Loki's arm. Odin was able to carry out his plan to make Loki his puppet king of Jotunheim. But how long will Loki remain an obedient puppet?

Yidrigar by epistolic (words: 5,174 | rating: M)

Sometimes I am envious, but never doubt that I love you.

The Heavy Crown by orphan_account (words: 10,024 | Rating: M )

Odin is dead. Loki must take up the mantle of King even as war threatens Asgard, Thor remains bereft of both Mjolnir and his immortality, and stress coupled with the knowledge of his heritage drives Loki to the brink.

No Common Thing by ravenbringslight (words: 8,283 | rating: E)

Loki follows Thor to a brothel and gets the shock of his life.

On the Eagle's Wings by illwynd (words: 2,975 | rating: T )

After Loki falls from the Bifrost, Thor begins to write him letters every day.

How long we were fooled by Ark (words: 28,227 | rating: E )

Loki is not a good man, he knows; there is something rotten in the core of him; and even a much better man might let Thor kiss him, since Thor still tastes of sizzling lightning, like gathering rain, like a desire so fierce and so awful to him that when released it could bring Asgard to its knees.

sunshine by thorvaenn (words: 18,257 | rating: E )

A post Infinity War fluffy piece.

Thor and Loki are among those who are trying to pick up the pieces, but must first fix each other.

Edit: And Some Gen Fic Recs too:

lose my idols to find my voice by Lise (words: 1,548 | rating: T)

This is no homecoming.

monstrare by Lise (words: 1,174 | T )

Loki is Asgard's second prince, brother to Thor, son of Odin and Frigga.

Isn't he?

farewell hope, and with hope farewell fear by Lise (words: 3,113 | rating: T)

Loki and the terrible, horrible, no good, very long delayed reckoning.

Five Times Loki Could Have Been A Villain by Kadorienne (words: 3,344 | rating: G | Character Death)

Five AUs where Loki is not a mere antagonist, but an actual villain.

He would have acted very differently.

When It Sings, When It Lies by dreamsthebirds (words: 14,145 | rating: G)

Thor AU, based on an awesome norsekink prompt for a scenario in which Heimdall doesn't open the Bifrost to Jotunheim, Odin doesn't ride to the rescue, and Loki is forced to take matters into his own hands.

Interdimensional journeys, shattering emotional revelations, and walking trees ensue.

Ichor in Violet by tirsynni (Words: 14,574 | rating: T)

When Thor learns that Loki can travel to other realms without Heimdall seeing, of course he convinces Loki to take them both to Jotunheim to hunt Frost Giants. There an accident unravels centuries of lies and threatens to unravel Loki, too.

The Sinking Feeling of Anticipation by JaggedCliffs (words: 8,624 | rating: G)

When Æsir come of age, they receive a gift from their parents, one meant to aid them in their adult lives. When a prince of Asgard comes of age, their gifts are not just for themselves, but for the realm.

Loki watched Thor receive Mjolnir at his coming of age ceremony – one of the greatest weapons in the realms, for one of its greatest warriors. Now, it's Loki's turn, and he knows Odin will grant him something just as magnificent.

Won't he?

Exsanguination by Lise (words: 8,610 | rating: G)

exsanguination /ex·san·gui·na·tion/ v.intr. To be drained of blood. (And all the rest.)

[lovebecomeshim]

hello! your zutara posting today has finally motivated me to ask this question because I came to atla very late(last year, to be specific) and I Love It Very Much but am 1000% out of the loop as far as why what remains of fandom (at least that I've seen among my friends) is so very strongly zutara. I'm not opposed to it per se I just don't really know what has driven it to apparently be such a popular ship? can you help me understand and maybe convert me a little bit?

Hey!! Your ICON! :D I can try but I’m not sure how coherent I’ll be; however I AM sure someone a lot more competent will be willing to add to this. Either way, I’m glad you asked because my plan was to drag down as many people as possible with me.

*smacks the hood of zutara* this baby can fit so much mutual love and support!

This got so long, I’m so sorry. I don’t know how to put it under a cut on mobile and it already got deleted once so I’m scared to mess with it lol. Moving on.

I’m gonna start this with a disclaimer that im on mobile so formatting is tricky and I’m also really new to atla in that I only completed my first watch through in like 2019??? So some of my info is all just based on what I’ve picked up from Discourse 👀 so anyway the sparknotes version: zutara was wildly popular from the beginning. To the point where the atla crew internally disagreed on which ship should be endgame. (Ex. Bryke [showrunners] asked the writers to rewrite The Southern Raiders to make Zuko seem less ideal for Katara than Aang [which failed, depending on who you ask]; the animation team purposefully created a visual parrallel between Oma and Shu in the Cave of Two Lovers and Zuko and Katara in the catacombs under Ba Sing Se in the Crossroads of Destiny; etc.)

The ship was popular enough that Bryke actually chose to display zk fanart at a con for the sole purpose of mocking the fans, but that’s neither here nor there. The entire episode Ember Island Players, while a love letter to/parody of the whole show, was an opportunity to address zutara’s viability as a canon pairing (while, again, mocking zutaras for romanticizing that catacombs scene). Point is! It’s always been popular but with it not being endgame, there’s got to be something that’s given it staying power.

And that’s honestly got to do with three things: their dynamic, thematic cohesion, and potential.

(You know what... you know what, it’s four things. The fourth is they’re so aesthetically pleasing together and individually. Like, they’re just good looking people [specifically when they’re grown but they’re also cute kids] and that absolutely doesn’t hurt) (but it’s not the Point, it’s just nice to point out sometimes)

The dynamic is hard to get into without also looking at the canon pairings, but I think I can do that without unnecessary bashing. It’s just that part of the magic of zutara is really highlighted by what they give to each other that their other relationships don’t.

First off, it’s classic enemies to (would be) lovers. The absolute truest form of it. It’s not too different from how CS started out: a rogue antagonist with a job to do—but no personal vendetta against the future love interest—who is deeply and emotionally invested in his personal storyline (revenge/redemption) with little regard for how it effects other people after his entire life and genuine good nature are marred by suffering, and a fierce warrior girl with a strong moral compass and her own personal investment in stopping him (protect her family and save the world doing it). Obviously frustration and animosity grew between them by the nature of them being on opposing sides, but that just lends itself to the sweetness of their later reconciliation.

The thing is that while they’re wildly different on the surface (he’s a hot-headed prince of a fascist regime who is trying to capture the Avatar to please his father; she’s a nurturing daughter of the chief who is trying to protect and train the Avatar in order to topple his father’s throne) they find out that they have so much more in common both in their experiences and their personalities.

(What follows is an excessive use of the word “both” and I’m sorry about that)(I can edit it. I can do that. That IS an option............)

They both have an innate sense of justice that they are determined to see done (zuko, at the war meeting, sticking up for the Earth Kingdom kid when the guards torment his family, choosing not to steal from the pregnant couple despite his circumstances, abiding by his word to leave the SWT should Aang come willingly, etc.; katara, literally.... at any point). They both have pretty one-track minds at accomplishing certain goals once they’ve put their mind to it, regardless of a lack of support in that endeavor (it goes without saying I guess, but zuko’s entire hunt; katara’s determination to get the earth benders to fight back, her determination to absolutely destroy Pakku until he agrees to teach her, etc.). They both lost their mothers at young ages. Their worlds are war-torn and traumatizing to them both, if in different ways, but that ultimately forces them to grow up too quickly to be wholly independent individuals. They both have issues with their fathers (for WILDLY different reasons, but). They both hold extreme prejudices that they need to learn to overcome (which ties into thematic cohesion)(bit like Lizzie and Darcy in that way but magnified by a million). They’re both extremely emotional and empathetic—which can and often does result in loud outbursts. Katara’s a bit better adjusted and can temper her anger for longer than S1 Zuko can, but they both feel that anger deeply and have no compunctions expressing it (Katara is, usually, more justified, particularly in S1. Again, S1 Zuko is severely maladjusted but at the point when they could’ve feasibly become a couple, he’s so much better off with the way he carries himself). They both struggle with feelings of inferiority in their bending abilities when confronted with prodigal benders like Aang and Azula, but have the work ethic required to double down and become two of the most powerful benders in the three remaining nations. This is a little more minor but it is a parrallel that appeals to some shippers that they both have these alter egos in the Painted Lady (notably fire nation coded) and the Blue Spirit (water tribe coded) that are pretty different from who they are day-to-day and are useful in accomplishing a purpose that they as themselves cannot.

(I’m.... I just realized that this could potentially get very long. Should I have made a slide show with bullet points??????)

Anyway, similar. I know there’s more but there’s literally so much to love about zutara that I’ll drive myself a little crazy trying to compile all the ways they’re similar. (Just gonna say that at this exact moment I went back to add more similarities.... so okay then)

Once they’ve reconciled, we see how all of these things only lend themselves to a deeper intimacy together than they share with literally anyone else. There’s a steady partnership that positions them as the mom/dad of the gaang, while also providing the support necessary to allow the other to not have to carry so much responsibility. A lot of zutaras will point out how zuko is actually depicted doing the more domestic chores that are normally relegated to Katara once he joins the gaang, since the others in the group are two 12-year-olds and sokka. The one that sticks out the most is how he makes tea for the group and then serves them, while Katara is able to just relax with her friends around the fire. Fanon expands upon this a lot to Zuko helping with the laundry or the cooking or whatever else needs doing since he, as a once-refugee, is used to doing his own domestic tasks. Before Zuko joined, Katara was the one mothering everyone, sewing for them, cooking for them, etc. She’s always tending to the needs of the group, and that includes emotionally. She does the emotional labor for the gaang 99% of the time, but when she’s the one falling apart, she’s usually doing it alone and without the comfort that she normally provides for others. Until Zuko. And that’s before they’re even friends.

Which is WHY people romanticize the catacombs of Ba Sing Se so much. Katara is verbally attacking Zuko out of her own righteous anger but also her own prejudice when Zuko, surprisingly, chooses to be vulnerable with her. He’s been on a journey that’s opened his eyes a bit, but he’s never actively chosen to expose the rawest parts of his past to anyone. But for some reason he chooses to do that with Katara of all people. While she’s yelling at him. He sees her humanity, and for once can look past his prejudice and empathize with her. And this time, when she breaks down, she gets to be comforted. Katara normally talks about her mother when she’s trying to explain to someone else that she sees and understands they’re pain, as a form of comfort to them. Here, Zuko uses the exact same tactic. He sees her and he understands. And for zuko? He’s not being shut down. He’s allowed to articulate his pain regarding his mother without being ignored and made to internalize it, and he’s allowed to process how he feels about his scar out loud without being told that he deserved it. And then he lets her touch his scar, something we’ve seen him actively avoid before. He’s completely open to her and she’s completely open to him and all it took was one five minute conversation. She was about to use the little bit of Spirit water that she had, that she was saving for something Important, to heal the scar that still daily causes him pain just because they had, somehow, connected.

Plus there’s the whole parallel to the star-crossed lovers forbidden from one another, a war divides their people—

And then zuko messes up, he regresses, he gets what he wants and he HATES it. And the sense of justice he had as a child has been restored to him against his will and he can’t think of anything he wants to do more than the Right Thing, so he joins team avatar. Before he does that though, we get to see his relationship with Mai, which is where comparison really comes in. And what we see is Zuko, fresh off of his encounter with Katara in the catacombs, trying to be emotionally honest with Mai... and getting shut down and dismissed. Which is just how Mai is and it’s fine, but not for Zuko. Still, he keeps trying, and he keeps getting ignored or scoffed at or yelled at. Which is really a larger symbol for how he doesn’t fit in his old life anymore, but again that’s about thematic cohesion. He tries to articulate his anxieties about returning home, he tries to make romantic gestures, he tries to explain how morally conflicted he’s feeling—and Mai diverts to some kind of physical affection to shut him up and a parting comment that is pretty much always, in essence, “I don’t wanna talk about this.” So they don’t. On the other hand, once zuko and Katara are friends, we see him again emotionally distraught and caught up in his anxieties about facing Iroh, and it’s Katara who comes to him and listens to him and comforts and encourages him.

Similarly, we have Aang clamming up and getting uncomfortable whenever Katara shows any negative emotion, usually resulting in him making excuses or running away. Or, in the case of the Southern Raiders, lecturing her on how she needs to just let go of her anger about her mother’s murder. People have talked this episode to death and usually better than I ever could, so imma... keep it brief. There’s a serious disconnect between Aang and Katara in his ability to empathize with Katara and her needs that has her tamping down her vulnerability and amping up her anger. He tells her that he was able to forgive his people’s genocide and appa’s kidnapping (petnapping? Theft??), which is blatantly not true but also not an entirely equal parrallel to Katara’s situation, and continues making these little remarks throughout the episode. But it’s Zuko that Katara opens up to. It���s with him that she’s able to talk about the most traumatic day of her life, and it’s with him that she’s able to get the closure she needs, cementing their bond as friends and partners. This disagreement between Aang and Katara is then... never resolved. They just never bring it up and hear what the other is saying.

There’s a fic called The Portraits of Ember Island that has a line that so completely sums up the heart of the matter for why people love their dynamic. For context, zuko has woken up early to help Katara with the cooking and they spend the whole time just letting one another talk, and zuko stops to ask why she always just lets him talk. And so she stops to ask why he’s always helping, and it goes as follows:

There’s just... so much mutual support! Trust! Intimacy!! And it just continues like that from the Southern Raiders on, listening to each other, advising each other, watching each other’s backs! And then! Literally saving each other’s lives!! I will never be over the last Agni kai. Not ever. Zuko may have been willing to jump in front of lightning for anyone, but he actually did it for Katara. And in a show, that’s the thing that really matters. It’s a fulfilled trope usually exclusively applied to romantic pairings, and it ended up applying to Zuko and Katara. And then she ran out into the middle of a fight with tunnel vision just to get to him.

Also!! Also Zuko pushing Katara out of the way of the falling rocks at the Western Air Temple!! And Katara catching him as he fell from the war balloon that he fought Azula on!! Before they’re even getting along, they’re the ones reaching for each other. They come to this place of equal ground, as partners, who watch each other’s backs, call each other out but still listen attentively and understand, and provide the support that the other has been sorely lacking up until they knew each other (whether that be from lack of effort or lack of understanding from others, or an unwillingness to accept it for themselves).

Then, trailing along under the surface of this, we see the themes of the show totally embodied by Zuko and Katara as individuals and in their relationship to one another. There’s a YouTuber, sneezyreviews, who has a, like, 2-hour explanation on why she not only loves zutara but also believes that their endgame would’ve actually elevated the writing of atla to new levels particularly because of thematic cohesion and resolved character arcs. It’s the zutara dissertation I never knew I needed, and it’s funny and eloquent and effective, so I’m just going to sum up her section on thematic cohesion to the best of my abilities and then link it for whenever you have the time. And I HIGHLY recommend it, especially if you want a full understanding of what makes zutara so great and gives it such longevity.

Guru pathik has a line that goes something like this: separation is an illusion; things that seem different are just two parts of the same whole. Iroh also tells Zuko something similar: balance and strength are achieved when the different nations come together and influence one another and celebrate what makes them each unique. And this lesson is a massive central arc that both Zuko and Katara go through, moving past a black-and-white, good guys-vs-bad guys, us-vs-them mentality and into a greyer, more nuanced view of the world. Zuko sees the fire nation from an entirely new perspective and while he still loves and hopes for his nations future, he surrenders his blind loyalty to them in exchange for an unflinching loyalty to peace and love. Katara too had to come to terms with the fact that cruel people exist in the earth kingdom and water tribes, while some fire nation citizens are just regular, kind people who also need and deserve to have someone speak on their behalf. And this is honed in directly on how they view each other. They grow in their individual journeys to be open to the humanity in the other and then, once they’ve found that, they’re able to grow more in compassion for others in a beautiful feedback loop. And this is all matched in the symbolism repeatedly and intentionally associated with them in canon: sun and moon, fire and water, yin and yang, Oma and Shu who found love despite their warring nations. Their individual arcs are completed in each other and complement the themes of atla beautifully.

The canon pairs... just don’t. Which, again, is fine. But the very things that give atla longevity and popularity are anchored in zutara. Kat@ang doesn’t accomplish this. They’re... nice. Sweet. Especially when you erase a good portion of their interactions in S3. It could’ve been just a sweet love story. (Personally, the dynamic between toph and aang accomplish the same thing that zutara does, with complementary personalities that fulfill the theme of opposites blending in harmony) M@iko, on the other hand, is less sweet but I think wasn’t even supposed to last. Zuko’s relationship with Mai seems to represent his relationship with his old life as a whole. He can’t be emotionally vulnerable, he’s goaded into abusing his privileges, his agency and opinions aren’t respected. They just don’t have common ground with which to discuss anything that matters, so they don’t. As far as themes, the relationship doesn’t fit with atla. It’s zuko returning to and sticking with what is (on the surface) like him, what’s expected. Fire nation with fire nation. Fluid water bender with the flexible air bender. Like with like, separated from what is different and challenging and complementary.

And all of these things combined of course lead to the potential for the ship. I don’t know how familiar you are with the post-atla canon but... well, miss “I will never turn my back on people who need me”, miss “I don’t want to heal! I want to fight!” ends up living quietly in the SWT as a designated healer who turns a blind eye to the water tribe civil war happening right outside her front door. Which can be fine! People change! Some people just wanna stay inside. I just wanna stay inside! But the potential future for zutara is so much more satisfying, with Katara becoming the most unconventional Fire Lady the uppity old cads who are stuck on the old ways have ever seen. Fanon has her serving as a voice for the other nations within a kingdom at the point of its biggest political upheaval, as a confidante to Zuko who can actually help him while he’s trying to figure out how to move forward and make reparations. They have the opportunity, together, to accomplish what they both have set on their hearts to fight for: positive change that lends itself to harmony and balance. And the steambabies! A popular headcanon is that their firstborn daughter, the crown princess, is actually a waterbender, which causes such an uproar among the people who are adamantly clinging to the old ways. It’s just a future full of potential to be forces for good together, full of trust, intimacy, joy. The exact era of peace and love and balance that zuko announces that he intends to ring in with the start of his reign as Fire Lord is, again, magnified by the very personal zutara relationship. And we love to see it.

tl;dr zutara isn’t for everyone. Some people just don’t vibe with it. Some are nostalgic. Some love the canon they grew up with. Some have been disappointed for years. Some just see themselves in other characters and want their happiness instead. Whatever the reason, that’s fine. But for me, I love the way these two, from the moment they give each other a fair chance, are able to lower their walls and prejudices to see the other for the kindred spirits they are. They see each other’s humanity, and their response is to pour out love and support and compassion. I love that they’re a power couple in battle. I love the symbolism and, honestly, soulmatism that colors their every interaction. I love that they embody the whole storyline of atla in their relationship and how it develops, which is notably why their seasonal arcs always culminate in each finale with how they relate to one another. I love that zuko adopting a waterbending move is what actually saves his life and then katara’s. I love the chemistry! And I love the future they could’ve had, instead of the ones they were given.

So, in conclusion: I just think they’re neat and I hope you do too, at least a little bit. Even if it’s just respectfully from a disinterested distance cause you do you. And now here is the video I mentioned. I’m sorry this post got so long and then I gave you an even longer homework assignment, but I can’t recommend it enough. She says it all better than I can.

[the-enzyme]

I’m on a drive-by-posting-spree today, it seems! I received (finally, after a million years! lol!), the extra eyes I purchased for my Myou Bettina male BJD (Ken Kaneki-fanart-doll). Plus, the correct “small iris” eyes I originally purchased for him, as well. As can be clearly seen in the crappy comparison eye photo I took, the AC “small” iris eyes are not small iris, and the image they have for their listing of them is quite deceiving by comparison. All the Myou glass eyes have small irises, but the AC ones don’t, not even if you hold your breath and squint really hard. They are average sized iris doll eyes, by far and beyond. 

I was hoping Alan’s eyes would be blue, because in some of Myou’s promo photos of him they look blue-ish, however, they appear to be grey in real life. Also, because these are hand-made glass eyes and not mold-made-cookie-cutter-other-type-of-eyes, one of my Alan’s eyes is slightly smaller (the iris part) and a bit warmer grey than the other. The one my Bettina has in his left eye is the cooler grey and the one in the right eye is the warmer (toned), smaller grey. I don’t mind, I was just hoping they would be icier blue, like Alice’s eyes I purchased. Sadly, those are huge-iris (normal, standard, average-doll-iris-sizes!), and not small like I wanted (or they advertised as, the Myou are also 9mm, and the AC ones are 8mm, in case anyone cares). 

The Reid ones are also grey, but on the warmer side of grey. Definitely leaning more toward beige, but not as small irised as Alan’s and yet not as large as Bettina’s default eyes. None of these are large iris by any means, just by relation to each other, and definitely small iris compared to AC’s “small” iris eyes. 

I’m tempted to get Rod eyes now, because his appear to be a dark blue in Myou’s promos. However, I’m scared they are just another shade of grey.  I don’t believe anyone has him yet, and even if anyone did, I doubt they would bother to tell me his eye color (I asked about Alan’s eye color on DoA once before I settled on getting my Bettina, but I never got a reply ^.^;;.). I kind of also want to get Gina’s eyes because they are so cool looking, but I wouldn’t really have a use for them -- I just like hoarding things. I feel like Vieruodis’ eyes are grey too, and probably have larger irises like Bettina’s. I am keeping Alan’s eyes in my Kaneki for now, I enjoy him looking a bit insane/confused. I might have to switch to Reid’s once I make a ghoul eye for him. I’m a bit disappointed that my Kaneki won’t have blue eyes, but glad Myou’s are tiny iris eyes, even at their largest! Maybe one day they’ll release a mature tiny doll with icy-blue eyes as default, and I can then surely get blue ones for my fan-art version of Kaneki.  (:

[methodstomymadness]

Hello, I’ve made changes

An Apology Post

I’ve given my page a makeover, or rather, a cleansing to try to do right by those I’ve wronged.

I upset several people part of a fandom dear to me because I was reposting (not reblogging, which I recently learned there’s a difference) both fanart and gifs made by others. In my ignorance, I was giving credit to the artists in my posts thinking that was all I had to do when sharing their work and I thought I was doing something good by those artists in sharing their talents with others who may not know of them. I now know I was wrong, as I did not ask for permission to share their artwork beforehand. As for the gifs I posted, I neither asked for permission nor gave credit to the original creators. I wasn’t aware I had to do either of those things as I’m so used to seeing gifs all over the Internet that I just thought everyone copied and pasted them everywhere. That said, I was also unaware of the time and effort that goes into making gifs. 

I did wrong and I wanted to fix it not only because the fandom is dear to me, as I said, but also because it’s just the right thing to do, to fix my wrongdoings. At first I thought it was enough to simply stop doing what I was doing and no longer continue to post or repost any fanart or gifs a part of any fandom I’m in as I continue to use this platform in the future. However, last night I realized that wasn’t enough and to do better I also had to go through my previous posts and delete what wasn’t mine. This morning I’m here to let you all know I've done just that. I think there’s still some work I have to do to be thorough but I believe the majority of what was problematic is now gone, if not all of it. 

I’m very sorry to those I’ve hurt (@kirammann, @terrapia, the anons who reached out to me, and anyone and everyone else). I never meant to do you wrong as I appreciate you and now I see you. Thank you for bringing this issue to my attention as well as your kindness in the way you did so, for it would’ve been understandable if you weren’t so kind (but I'm a sensitive little shit so I’m honestly glad that wasn’t the case).

I’ve been on and off tumblr for years but as I haven’t used it consistently I still feel new to things and I’m still learning. I never had ill intent in the first place and I hope not to make a mistake again in the future so I’ll do my best to learn and do right by everyone here.

If you’ve taken the time to read this, thank you, and I am sorry.

[sagemoderocklee]

2020 has been a weird fucking year, to put it mildly. There have been a lot of ups and downs, and with New Year’s Eve and the start of 2021 upon us, focusing on the ~positive~ seemed like a better way to end the year, and hopefully start 2021 feeling inspired and proud for overcoming this horrendous year.

For many people, it was difficult--even impossible--to get anything done this year (myself included), and that’s okay! But if you were able to make progress on writing projects, even if it was just one or even if it was just part of one, you should celebrate that! I wish I’d thought of this sooner and organized it better, but regardless I wanted to celebrate my own accomplishments with regards to my writing, and encourage others to do the same! I was going to tag people, but I’m not sure with it being 2 hours til midnight for me if that would feel like putting too much pressure on others, so if you want to do this too please do!

This wrap up is honestly just a self-indulgent look back on the works I’ve made and what I learned/gained from each, maybe what I don’t like about them, some totaling on what I did, and some resolutions for the next year. It’s silly, but I think it’s kinda fun and if you missed any of the things I have posted this year, you’ll find them here!

2020 Fic Wrap Up:

Kado: Parts II+III (COMPLETED)

Kado was started in September of 2019 for the @puregaalee​ summer event. This was a last minute thing that I started the day the prompt was due and managed to write the first part in about 6 hours while sitting in a cafe--remember that? Sitting in cafes? Man, I miss that. I hadn’t anticipated working on Kado, but I decided that I was going to finish it this year, and I’m honestly amazed that I did. This fic is sweet and fun, and surprisingly popular, though it isn’t my favorite of my works. However, it is a light, fluffy little romcom modern AU, and I learned a lot with it because despite my struggles with modern AUs and their horrible lack of political intrigue, this fic forced me to work within set parameters. I was only writing a 3 part story, and each part could only be 9 scenes long. For those unfamiliar, kado is another term for Ikebana, and in Ikebana there are specific elements to follow. Certain styles will only use three branches, some will use nine. So my goal was for the structural elements of the fic to mimic Ikebana. In doing this, I was able to do something I don’t usually do, which is keep this story more concise.

I’m still not sure how I personally feel about the ending, but I think endings are always a struggle, especially with something like this.

Gate of Dreaming (COMPLETED) 

This is a fic that I started last year, then left to sit untouched with only 2k words. Getting back into it was a bit difficult because I was writing something very different from my usual: stream of consciousness. This fic was very experimental for me not only because of the stream of consciousness, but also because of the changing tenses. This was another exercise--unexpected though it was--in brevity. With this particular story, it couldn’t be dragged on and on, because--despite the 100 year time span--the events take place within the Infinite Tsukuyomi. This was also the first time I’d worked from Lee’s PoV in quite some time, so that was fun because I do enjoy writing him, but usually write from Gaara’s PoV. This is definitely one of my favorites from this year, and since it had been sitting on the back burner for so long, I’m so excited that I could finally get it done.

Another one where the ending really wasn’t easy to achieve, but I did end up liking it more than I expected, and I think the best thing is that it’s open-ended which leaves room for others to guess at what the future holds.

It Eats Your Heart (WIP)

This was an unexpected fic for me in every way imaginable. Starting another fic? Making another modern AU? Tackling the horror genre? None of those were things I’d planned to do this year, but lo and behold, that’s just what I did. I really enjoy a good bit of horror, but it is NOT an easy genre to work within, and this fic has definitely been a push for me. But with it being such a push, the payoff is far more. Stepping out of my comfort zone is something I like doing, but I think this is the biggest step outside of that and I am so incredibly proud of how that first chapter turned out because of it. I was really able to surprise myself with this fic, and I am hoping to update the next chapter early on in the year.

Absolution (WIP)

This fic is probably the second oldest idea/longest unpublished fic I currently have up. Formerly a much longer title, the idea for this fic came to me in May of 2017 when a friend, @brianadoesotherjunk / @brianadoesart, posted a piece of GaaLee fanart that sparked inspiration. The fic took off, morphed into something much bigger than the one scene depicted by the art, and now 3 years later, the first part is up. Initially, this was meant to be a long shot, but after sitting with this for so long, I realized that I needed to split it up into 9 parts, which allowed me to use this for GaaLee bingo and finally publish it. Much of the first part was already written before this year, but I’d been quite stuck on it until now. This is actually probably one of my favorite GaaLee concepts to date. I remember back in the day, there weren’t a lot of different takes on getting Lee to Suna so he and Gaara could fall in love, so (at the risk of sounding cocky) I think that Lee as a nanny is rather inspired. I think with this fic, I pushed myself the hardest to get past the hurdle of writer’s block and accepted that publishing is probably the best way to motivate myself to keep going. The feedback for this fic has been really motivating, so I think I’m probably right about that.

I do think there are some parts in the middle or towards the end that could maybe use some tightening up, but I’m just happy to finally have this fic out in the world.

The Art of Love: Chapter 11 (WIP)

TAoL is such a ridiculous labor of love. The chapters for this fic are novellas in and of themselves, so each time I update it takes a lot of work to get them out. This fic is one of those like magnum opus type fics. I have put so much into it, and I’m honestly amazed that it’s only been up for 3 years because I’m approaching the halfway mark on it, and I don’t think I expected to be there by now. Despite being able to churn out 30k chapters, I have a hard time focusing on one thing and I often struggle with mental health related writer’s block, so big works are always sort of sporadic in their updates. 

This particular update of TAoL was definitely one of my favorites though. Initially, I didn’t plan to go the sort of dark fantasy rout that I did with Shikamaru, but I actually really love what I’ve done with him, though I worry others won’t be as into it or that the execution isn’t quite there. One thing I would like to work on with future chapters of TAoL, however, is maybe pairing things down a bit--though I’m not sure that’ll always be possible. The next chapter is a Naruto PoV chapter, though, so I expect that one to be a MUCH shorter chapter than the last three and should be able to get it out sometime next year.

Before I could publish this chapter, however, I did go through and make some big changes, which is something I often struggle with because of such long breaks in between working on certain projects. I will say, though, that TAoL continues to push me to greater heights as a writer, and I look forward to actually finishing this fic someday.

Thirteen Strokes: 1 + 2 (WIP)

Another unexpected fic this year, however, this one was actually an idea for about a year, unlike IEYH. This fic has really given me a lot of perspective on my own writing and world building, and has inspired me to sit down and really start committing the things I’ve developed to paper to create a cohesive view of Suna, Wind, and the shinobi world. This fic is meant to be a Romance. Like just full on Romance. I write a lot of tragedy and focus on a lot of darker themes in my writing, so while I don’t think of this as stepping outside of my comfort zone, it is very different from my usual, and a really nice change of pace. I think, in all honesty, it is one of my best works, and I do hope I can continue to deliver on the remaining 11 parts of this story.

if this were the last i felt you breathing (COMPLETED)

Ugh. This fic has been my enemy for 2 long years. I signed up for a Secret Santa exchange, and of course, I regretted doing it when I found that I was not motivated and, after the month of October where I was churning out fic after fic for GaaLee Bingo, that I was massively burned out. I wasn’t able to think past writer’s block, and so I ended up settling on dusting off an old, unfinished piece for my giftee, and I hope they can forgive me for not coming up with something brand new for them.

This fic was a struggle. Working so closely with the canon--following the Rescue Kazekage Arc as closely as I did for this fic--made this a much bigger challenge and this fic sat and sat and sat for two years, untouched and incomplete. I’m still not sure how I feel about it. I know it’s not my best work, but I am glad that this fic isn’t hanging over my head and that I was able to deliver something to my secret santa giftee.

My goal with this fic was to rewrite this particular arc from Lee’s PoV to give more depth to the arc and shift the emotional core of it away from Naruto. Naruto as a character has a lot of flaws that never get addressed, and one of the things that is consistently frustrating for me is the way the emotional core of the series rests on him in unrealistic and often superficial ways. Naruto hasn’t spoken to Gaara in three years, but I’m supposed to believe he’s this affected by Gaara’s kidnapping? Temari and Kankuro are right there! Lee is right there! I wanted to see that, so that’s what I set out to do, and ultimately I don’t think I fully succeeded, but I tried. I guess not everything can be a resounding success

---

This year I managed to do a lot more than I realized. New works, updates, and COMPLETED pieces?! I never would have thought, but staying home gave me more free time, and when I was too broke to work on costumes, writing fanfiction was something free I could do.

Total new works: 5 Total updates: 9 Total completed works: 3 Total words this year: 143,587

---

I have a lot of goals for the coming year, and I know I won’t make all of them, but that won’t stop me from trying.

2021 Writing Resolutions:

Reach 1million words (+238,073 words)

Finish IEYH

Finish Pearl-Filled Lungs

Update TAoL (Chapter 12 and 13)

Update Absolution

Update 13S

Update Find Me (Chapter 6)

Start the Ballad of the Dragon and the Phoenix

Start editing Alliance

Return to working on Honor Bound

Return to working on We Need Not Be Yellow Tulips

[aghostsdestiny]

An "about" me & my blog in regards to people's opinions

Ive wanted to say something in the tag for some time but didnt want to risk coming off wrong when im still recovering from some medical issues that effect my filters. I dont want to be unfair or make anyone feel unwelcome from any of the positivity messages Ive posted and plan to post (next idea is Destiny themed suicide prevention fanart - NO ONE should unalive themselves, not even assholes; dont get dead, get better! Just keep trying), but a big point is that I been too scared of past bullying to speak up much or even follow anyone so y'all dont really know me yet.

In the name of fairness, as I've mentioned my filters... well, like everyone else I too have the unfortunate habit of thinking "... did we really read the same lore? And THAT was your takeaway??" but thats needlessly hurtful and calling people stupid when they arent; they could have been distracted at the time they read the lore or they just see things differently. Or maybe... it just means too much to them to see it any other way. Maybe they NEED for it to mean something that saves them. Thats NOT "stupid." Thats survival. They found what helps them, thats wonderful!

Maybe theyre wrong about lore meaning, but maybe IM wrong. Yes, i do think they're wrong but they think im wrong and im ok with that, theres no harm in it. Been keeping it to my own lane & mind my own business. Im trying to get better with my filters as well as unlearn some habits, but yes I have months ago made at least one comment here to the effect "uhh... people think THIS about the lore??" and im ashamed of that because its not who i want to be. I prefer to celebrate people not being some robot copy of me. Yes! Please! Have a different thought from me! Just be nice to me about it, is all i ask, and if you're not... well thats saddening, but i hope we can be friendly some day soon.

Thats far from to say im perfect or am trying to be; Im trying to be what makes me happiest, use my creativity in combination with my psychology knowledge to be more gentle with people, and thats not for everyone. Maybe some other people are in a place right now where they have to figuratively beat each other's brains in online to decide if thats who they want to be (as long as everyones a willing participant, etc). While ive always tried to do the right thing, I used to be a bit more abrasive with my opinion years ago in perceived self defense and... maybe i needed to be to get where i am now.

Im at the point in my life where Ive seen enough drama, known irl horrors & experienced legit crippling mental illnesses/disorders that taught me how frail humans can really be; all of which makes me see it as anyone could be gone anyday and if this were my last month alive then i want to be kind before i die. I want to leave good behind. 30 years ago I was a Mr Roger's kid, i grew up & i wanna be "a helper" now, however much by my limited means of small-scale caring without hurting others. I wont save the world or be a firefighter, I'll never be perfect & i dont want to be, but you dont have to be perfect to be kind. Nor do you have to be a doormat (reminder: Mr Rogers legally sued the KKK. And won), but im not sure how to balance that yet so im shrugging issues off for now.

I know Ive rambled, & i apologize. I wont use the read more line because in the past its deleted things. I took time away to give a long thought about the fighting & assess how i really feel, what i really want to put out there & i dont want it glitching out. I... really want people to be nicer to each other in the fandom, its just... im not their parent, babysitter, keeper, nurse or doctor, & i dont know what they need right now. Im not going to tell anyone what to do, regardless of whether theyd listen or not. Its their free will to live how they see fit. I'll tend my lane & they can tend theirs.

But hey. Hey you. You heated people, if youre even reading this... i wish as much good for you as anyone else. Being assertive is tiring (as i well remember lol). Any friendly thing i post is also for you. Take care of yourself, hydrate, do whatever kindnesses you feel inclined to, & best wishes with your life. The positivity isnt JUST for cinnamon rolls, people who dont complain, people with empty block lists, or never been in an argument, etc. Its for you too. Even if you dont care right now, possibly in some "i dont need your stinkin posts" mentality. That might change. Dont ever look at my positivity posts & think that you're excluded. Ever. Everyone on Earth is trying to get better together, & thats our Destiny.

(Yes this is how corny it is in my head, lol, arent you glad i dont normally talk much XD)

[freegrain]

Things We Can Do to Support Fiona and #BlackLivesMatter

Hey, so I decided to make a post on things we can do to deal with racism and support #BlackLivesMatter within the fandom 💜 A lot may be obvious but it's just a simple guide to things to help. Also be noted, I am not black but I am a person of colour. (ik it's a long post, I'm on mobile so I'll stick a keep reading in when I can, sorry!)

1. Check Yourself 

The thing to remember that we are not infallible. We are human, we can mistakes and say things that are hurtful without meaning to. Acknowledge this. If someone calls you out, thank them and try not to make the same mistake in the future. Depending on your upbringing, your experiences, the people around you, you may support BLM wholeheartedly but pick up microaggressions, say words that you shouldn’t, think ‘jokes’ are funny when they’re not. But as long as you learn, it means you are trying. 

2. Friends Shouldn’t Be Defensive 

The second place we look is at the people we surround ourselves in in fandom. If you see someone doing something racist; be it through art, fanfiction, how they refer to people, shoot them a message explaining why you think what they're doing is wrong. Most people would unaware and would be glad to know. However, if they get defensive and insist they're not racist, perhaps stop and think about how important this person is to you. And if you find yourself getting defensive, please look again and try see it from their perspective!

3. YouTube

Ah, the big one. As AH's content is based off YouTube this is where we can do the most! Fiona has already mentioned that she knows videos with her in them get less views, get more dislikes, get more hate comments. So things we can do include:

1. Watching videos

See Fiona in a vid that you weren't going to watch? Maybe put it playing in the background, or put headphones in if it's distracting. Your view counts! All of ours do!

2. Reporting hate comments

Hate Speech is illegal on YouTube. If you see any comments, report them with either hate speech or harassment/bullying (although, I'm not sure how well YouTube handles this but it's better than nothing). I won't encourage you to engage with these commenters but if you do, be aware that people who openly hate are usually quite set in their opinions.

3. Overwhelm the hate with love

We know that AH doesn't read all the comments because how could they? However, if they were to read them, they'd see the top comments first. This is why it's important to comment nice things, like other positive comments and dislike negative ones. Also like the video! Trevor has said many times that with the new algorithm, likes impact how a video is recommended and viewed.

There is also roosterteeth.com. I personally don't use the site but I assume much is the same!

4. Social Media

Both our own and theirs! Let your voice be heard! Leave supportive comments on their Twitter and Instagram. Also, some AH members have been doing personal fund raisers so check them out if you see them.

Social media also includes the content we as fans create! Be it fanart, moodboards, fanfiction, show your support to Fiona and the others 💜 I've seen people talk of a Fiona Week (like a ship week but for celebrating what a wonderful person she is) but nothing has come of that as of yet. (If no one picks it up 👀 I'll see how busy I am). In general be supportive!

5. Fanmail

This one would have been easier if they were in their office and we all know how AH are with packages. But better late than never! If you can, send letters or gifts in to let Fiona know she's loved from the community. Also, from the AHWUs, they've mentioned that Fiona is usually the one to drop by the office to collect packages for everyone so if it's addressed to her, she'll probably get it.

6. Also!

Here's a link to a petition micooll made to let Fiona know how much the community loves her. You can sign or leave a comment, I just thought it was a cute idea!

-

And that's what I could think of 👉👈 of course, there are probably other ways so feel free to add on.

As always, sign petitions, donate, spread posrs, educate yourself. This was for internal fandom stuff but there's other things we can do to support #BlackLivesMatter

[blade-king-luze]

30 Followers!!

OOC: Wow wait for a moment ... 30 followers? AAH Sorry, moments like these give me happy moments kj;asldfkh QQ

Even if the numbers are small, 30 actually means a lot especially for this character. I have never thought I would reach this many for Luze. He’s SO underrated and literally not well known! And the amount of followers I get for him just makes me a bit gushy. I know, weird ... But I do appreciate it! <3 Thank you all so much for the Asks, too! I never thought I would receive so many!  I will put a border down below just because I also want to say something more to you guys if you don’t mind. But for those who just wanted to see a few words,  I can’t express my gratitiude to you all still active, especially in the Uraboku Community!

I will do my upmost ability to bring you more Luze and some of Luka content!

Notes to Navigate my Page:  Hello, newcomers! 

I just want to leave a note here just in case people are lost or don’t know where to even look. Next to his icon image, there is a Navigation tool. 

Luze Crosszeria and Gale Spider (Mun) Hey it’s me and Luze Crosszeria! If you want to read more about Luze, here is his page along with my Mun page. Now you know who is behind this blog.

Fortress Gallery (Art by Mun), #Gale Spider As you can tell, the title says it all. This is all the art I have done about Luze only. So feel free to check it out! 

Undocumented Files, #Unheard Words This section is all the stories/fanfiction I typed that involve around Luze Crosszeria or Other’s perspectives that involve Luze. There are also little messages like this one as well. Some characters are present to make his stories more compelling and shows how I think he would react to different settings and events depending on who he is with or what has happen. It makes me bring out his personality more and I still hope that I can convey it properly through these stories!  Terminology for Luze can be seen here

Aesthetics, #In the Mind of the King A fun little section that revolves around looking what’s inside Luze’s mind from what he has seen, or what his thoughts are like. Some may be cherishable to him, some may be traumatic from his experience. Whatever it may be, feel free to look through from his past, present sightings, thoughts, or possessions. 

Fragments, #Fragments of the Past This section involves his actual appearance in both the Anime and Manga.  Kind of a dead section considering I have found most images or GIFs that consists of Luze. There are some I made to bring out more of his appearance. I might just compile more images if I can from what they have. All rights clearly belong to the creators of Uraboku/Betrayal Knows My Name.

Letters from Others, #Answered Letters A page dedicated to the Asks I received from Anons or other bloggers. There are some Character Memes located here too. I am legit surprised from the amount of Asks I got from you all though. I would have thought I would just do little by little, once in a blue moon, but it’s a good amount nonetheless! Thank you all so much for letting me at least bring him out more QQ.  Feel free to drop any Asks or Comments (or written letters in this case) to him!

Hashtags:

Honestly, this layout took me awhile to get used to. I am not so knowledgeable nor creative with Tumblr at all and still learning as I go!  If you want to look for specific hashtags, click on the ellipsis right above the post.  There are specific Hashtags that follow the links above, or other characters if you want to look at that corresponds with Luze. I will add more if there are more characters.

#Forsaken Twin = Luka Crosszeria #Dearest Leader = Reiga Giou (Kanata Wakamiya) #Precious Light = Yuki Giou (The Light) #Zweilt Guardians (TBA) = The Zweilts #Little Companion = Sodom #Lord of All = Lucifer  #Reiga’s Affiliation = Cadenza, Elegy

#Otherworldly Beings = Crossovers

I wanted to say that I am glad that I had the opportunity to open this blog for him just for the fun of it. But it’s becoming something on the side that I also enjoy doing once in awhile every time I hop on Tumblr.

I used to be into FFXIV content but that crave got waaay too over the top for me as I see everyone I played with kind of is ... Over-the-top-hyped, especially on Twitter. It honestly killed my mood to the point where I had to step away from the “Craziness” by a large margin and enjoy it my own way.  And from Twitter, mind you.

But it wasn’t until Luze Crosszeria came across. He made me realized, I could do my own thing. I don’t need to be caught up with everyone.  Just go on your own pace. Do what you love, and don’t follow the trend but your own different path. Dare to be different rather than be the same.

I felt pressured to be caught up with everyone in FFXIV because I had raid and many artists did so much crossovers with their own characters with other trending games coming out. Honestly, I did that for awhile. But whenever I tried to, I just never feel any opportunity to finish or start it. It’s just something about drawing FFXIV characters that get to me. I don’t know what it is, but I would only draw my Au Ra, Krowell Raggs because he was already based off of another character, Ayanami from 07 Ghost. Maybe I am not original enough.

Maybe I am just a sucker for other existing characters that look compelling or have so many relatable aspects towards my life situations. If they don’t have that much background information, it’s always fun to find hints or other canon/non canon things about them. Maybe even go deeper onto how they will react or progress through situations. It began with Ayanami from 07 Ghost, where I would do so much fanart of him because of that relation and his story was tragic even though it wasn’t strongly brought out. But you can tell from his emotions, how he reacts to other people, and how he became to be. I was conflicted of doing FFXIV and 07 Ghost art at the same time. However, as I said, Luze was introduced in my imaginations/stories and he completely removed my thoughts of raiding, being caught up, and backing away from something I really never put my mind into. 

And I am very grateful for him persuading me to. Even though this seems like an internal thought thing, and he may be a fictional character, but I always look back to where I first discovered him and think, “Man. Luze was the one who started it all: Stop raiding to have my own downtime. Draw what you want and NEVER feel forced to. Focus on your own interests and play other games that you love rather than where everyone is at times.” Trust me on the last bit. I still need to get through Othercide.

Anyway,  I know I have said this many times but I don’t know what else to do to express my gratitude.  Thank you so very much for following this blog!  It truly means a lot that I am able to bring this little known character to life. Would I use different web formats to bring him out more? Who knows! Still considering if I should relocate my stories to different writing sites!

In the mean time, I will try my best to keep up Luze here for you all.  And for those who are Luka fans, I will also try my best to let that happen! Love you all! And remember, to love each other! <3

[frenchibi]

Hi! Okay so obviously this isn’t an ask or a request but basically I just wanted to let you know I’m a fan. I saw that you were upset with how little feedback you were getting so I was looking for a way to contact you. I don't have an ao3 account so I can’t comment anything, and I can’t get one yet because I’m still 15 (the limit is 13 but the TOS were complicated and I didn’t wanna risk anything). In any case, your writing is AMAZING. I love it sm I’m obsessed. You’re so talented <3

Oh, hello!!

This is such a sweet message, thank you for sending it! I’m very happy that you enjoy my writing - but also, this message made me realize I have something to say, so I hope you’ll forgive me for hijacking it a little to make a slightly different point.

You probably read one of my older fics before sending this message - I had a habit of complaining in the notes about the amount of comments I got. Or maybe you saw that one post that I wrote a few years ago, specifically about the Haikyuu fandom and about being angry...? It goes around from time to time and has never really stopped getting notes.

I still feel, generally, that fic writers deserve more responses and interaction for the effort they put in, but my stance on how to go about saying this has changed somewhat since I last talked about this. Looking back at some of the author’s notes for my fics and that post I wrote, they feel very... whiny and entitled, to be honest.

Yes, fic writers invest a lot of time and effort into the works they create, and the fact that they share them for free is amazing, so I feel like “expecting” the people who enjoy their writing to at least let them know that they do is... more or less justified, and a writer being disappointed and frustrated when engagement with their writing is rather low is understandable (especially on tumblr, a place that is notoriously difficult for writers). However, I don’t like the kind of... culture of pressure that has resulted from this (and that my post helped enforce), and the way it “guilts” people into commenting.

We’re all part of fandom because we want to be here, right? We enjoy the same media and we want to talk about it, want to exchange headcanons and story ideas and concepts and fanart. And we want to engage with the stuff other people create - at least that’s how I, personally, feel about it. So when I see something someone made that strikes a chord with me, I WANT to let them know, and so it feels natural to me to like, reblog, leave kudos and comment. And because that’s how I feel, that’s how I expect other people to feel, too. So when I get very little response to something I post, it disappoints me - was my newest fic not up to my usual standard? Are the people who follow me not interested in this fandom anymore? And so on.

I can acknowledge that not everyone interacts with fandom in the same way I do, though. When I wrote that post about being angry - I was, well, angry. A lot of my frustration had piled up and I wrote that post as an outlet, and the people who responded in the notes (overwhelmingly other writers who said things to the effect of “thank you for voicing what we were all thinking”) validated this anger.

I’m... not good at being angry. It doesn’t last very long. In the end, my love for writing and for fandom in general outweighed my anger - and so I’m still here, and I’m probably not going to stop creating fanworks any time soon. I have also expanded to other fandoms (other than Haikyuu) and that has helped me immensely - I needed to get away from the box I put myself in. That doesn’t mean I don’t like Haikyuu anymore! It just means that writing only in one fandom no longer brought me the joy that it used to (and maybe a lack of responses contributed to this, but it wasn’t the only reason. This was a decision that I made for me, and no amount of comments from readers would have changed my mind).

I’m still writing, and all the fics I wrote are still up. I still read and respond to every comment, and every time someone new stumbles upon my ao3 or my tumblr writing tag and starts reading my works - I see you, I appreciate you, I am so happy that you’re here and that you’re enjoying my writing. And if you choose to “only” like five posts in a row without reblogging a single one - well, that just means you missed the chance to have a conversation with me, I guess. But I’m not mad - you do you, and have the fandom experience that works best for you. We’re all friends here, as far as I’m concerned!

All this to say, anon - you have absolutely no obligation to go to such extreme lengths to let a writer know that you like their work. What you said about not having an ao3 account - you ABSOLUTELY don’t have to sign up for one just to leave comments because writers are asking for them. Also, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, you’re 15 and it’s not your job to make a 20+ year old writer feel better about themselves. It was incredibly kind of you to send this message, but it did surprise me a little bit - I tend to always assume (as one does) that the people I interact with are around the same age as I am - but I’m glad that it surprised me, because it reminded me that what I post is seen by everyone who follows me, not just my immediate peers. When I posted about being angry, it was directed and people “like me”, in similar situations, in similar age groups, and I didn’t even stop to think who else might read my post. Which is incredibly irresponsible, actually.

I am aware many people in fandom spaces are minors and I say this for you especially: You don’t owe anyone ANYTHING, least of all should you feel obligated to go out of your way to contact writers who feel “neglected” by their readers to make them feel better. Their emotional state is not your responsibility. I’m grateful for your very sweet message, but I’m also sorry that you felt you had to send it. It is not your job to make sure I feel appreciated. It’s on ME to find a way to interact with fandom spaces that works for me. That’s no one’s responsibility but my own, and it was not fair of me to make a post that basically demanded more interaction “or else I’ll stop posting”. It was years ago, and I don’t feel that way anymore, but I can’t stop people from still reblogging it.

Yes, every single comment or ask or reblog matters and makes me happy - but I hate that I made you feel like you had to reach out to me and tell me that my work is appreciated when you weren’t otherwise going to do so (and that you considered making an ao3 account just for this purpose! No!! Don’t do that!! You’re RIGHT, the TOS are complicated and you shouldn’t sign up for anything without thinking it through properly!).

Tl;dr: Thank you, anon. I’m fine, and even if I wasn’t, it would not be on you to change that. You’re a very sweet person, and I apologize for using your ask to go off on this tangent, but I felt it was important to say.

[daydreamindollie]

𝟘𝟞.𝟘𝟞.𝟚𝟘 ⏤𝙠𝙤𝙛𝙞 + 𝙥𝙬𝙩𝙪𝙝 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙚𝙬

Alright, so...I'm going to be leaving home to survive out in the big world later this year and will be entering university as an undergraduate for Biomedical Sciences.

I'm also not going to be openly looking for work seeing as my parents want me to focus on my studies and, to be honest, I feel the same way. But one thing's for sure, I want to continue writing even though my brother, who is already in university, told me I won't be able to write or, at least, plan chapters/oneshots as much as I'm able to now.

Umm...this is really uncomfortable for me to say because I really do love writing and going through the planning process of it all so I don't want it to seem as if I'll be doing it for money. However, I still want to be able to fund myself in some way that I can avoid being anxious or stressed about my funds as much as possible in the future whilst I'm in further education.

The main reason I'm bringing this up now is because this is the only time I'm feeling confident enough to bring the topic up of me making a kofi account. If I don't do it now then maybe I never will. Either that or I may already be stressing out from my debt due to university loans.

If any of you are willing to buy me a kofi, here's the page I just created but please bear in mind that you are not obligated to buy me anything in any way if you are not in a position to, also if you're not 16-18, please ask permission from your parents or don't at all! - really! You don't have to! Only if you're able to and want to.

✚           ✚           ✚

Anyway! Moving on! I have a little preview for PWTUH chapter 12 for you and a little peep into the written plans I've written up already :3

Just quickly! Please note that the preview may or may not make it into the final, revised, and edited chapter 12 that I will be posting officially for pwtuh as it will be edited and possibly changed by then. Still! Please enjoy it for what it is!

↓ also, know that these are just random, unedited scenes and may be shuffled up in the final, edited version of chapter 12 ↓

Unexpectedly, news of the war didn't daunt the people of Seoul. Even in your village, small and suburban, had little worries over the matter. In one ear, they were fully aware of their king's illness, and in the other, they were the victims of propaganda. Word of the victory at --- seemed to have blinded them to the sovereign's frail state, a condition that leaves him incapable of leading the kingdom on the backs of the first and second commanders' achievements and potential losses on the battlefield. That would be the only thing he would have been able to do had his illness not taken a turn for the worse. If his highness was in a better state of health, he would have bravely taken himself to the field and fought alongside the people of his country. Alas, the world forbid him from doing so in the cruelest way possible. You can still remember the breakable appearance of his majesty when embellishing his quarters with the most brilliant of blossoms and it made your heart thump heavily with trepidation.

If only the prince returns, then you're certain you'd be able to feel an ounce of reassurance.

"Is everything alright, (Y/N)?" Jeong whispers from beside you, his close proximity, if it were any other day, would have flustered you beyond belief but it had no such effect when your mind was racing the way it was.

"I...I'm just..-worried..." you hummed fretfully, leaning into his chest as you stared on at Taehyung and Jimin chattering the day away and neglecting their duties at the assembly station of your shop. You dare not break their lighthearted banter in spite of the blatant negligence of their tasks, seeing as this could one day be a rare sight for you.

"About...?"

With a sigh, you close your eyes for several beats of silence before you tilt your head to face Jeong and voice your worries, "well...uhh," despite your prodigious anxiety, the heat of embarrassment rushing to your cheeks was overwhelming and you had to push yourself away from the male who you had been so so close - once again - to touching lips with. For a moment, you regain your senses and calm your reddened cheeks, however, the amount of time it had taken you to achieve that, Jeong was, once again, staring off into space.

Eyes distant and mind unreachable, your eyes furrow in additional concern. He's been like this since this morning. Was he just as worried as you were about the war? You smile softly at his potential sentiment, at the very least, you're glad that he isn't one to be indifferent to pressing matters. Certainly, you needed a man like that around Taehyung.

A man. Your cheeks blossom a soft pink once more. Jeong has certainly grown into himself as a man over the months that you've been by his side, there was no denying that. You're eager to see if he sees you as a woman as well.

✚           ✚           ✚

Wanting nothing more than to rid yourself of the horrible, pressing feeling that had suddenly swept over you, you make the woeful excuse of visiting Jin at the bakery in order to purchase something for lunch. If you stay a moment longer, you're deathly afraid of sinking deeper into that frightful feeling.

"But…" Jungkook pauses to ensure his reasoning was true, "you already prepared lunch for us home at home,"

You're quick to correct your grave mistake, "I mean, for desert after lunch…yeah!" you bite your inner cheek at the thought of the adverse effects of the sugar in Jin's baked goodies, "I’ve been craving something sweet and I think" unconsciously, in spite of your distaste for sugar, your gaze wanders outside to where the boys are pretending to be knights. The way they valiantly swing their floral swords was so admirable and charming, you had to hold back a giggle, "…I think the boys will want something to cheer them up because of all this conflict - they’re brilliant liars but I can see right through them," with a sigh and smiles directed at Jeong you make your request, "please look after the shop while I’m gone,"

"You’re right," he smiles and nods, "I’ll do that,"

For a moment, you marvel at his sweet smile before snapping out of it - had his smile always been that captivating? - and bashfully heading out, "Boys, I’ll be going out for a bit! I’ll be back as soon as I can okay?"

"Okay, Noona! Take care!" Taehyung and Jimin raise their hands to wave you goodbye before they quickly make a split-second demand "Hugs and Kisses" their toothy, adorable grins are too much for you to resist so you happily oblige with a grin of your own, unaware of the smiling male staring on from within your flower shop. His smile, however, slowly but quickly falls into a frown as his head fills with overriding thoughts once more.

From the precious smiles and pure scene he had witnessed, Jungkook is now faced with even more dread, knowing that he needs to return in order to protect you fully and take charge of the operations. He knows that growth should never be rushed - another lesson taught to him by his father - yet he wishes that he could return to being prince Jungkook as soon as possible even if it meant leaving you. He needs to protect your smile and the dearest memories he was able to make here thanks to you and Taehyung.

He has to. He needs to. No matter the cost.

✚           ✚            ✚

here is a pic of my written plans, you may get a little hint of what’s to come if you squint annnddddd...I also drew fanart! (it’s from one of the last scene in chapter 12 - wink wonk ;3) I am not an artist! and I used some pre-existing art to trace over, I made some changes but I’ll still credit the artists when I find the artworks again bc I. FORGOT. TO. SAVE. THEM!!!!

Anyway, I’ll be unblurring unpixelating the art in the official post of pwtuh chapter 12 as well as crediting the artists + putting in the artwork beside the little manga strip I made using them. HAVE FUNNNN! 

[jcmorrigan]

im curious (again XD); do you have any favorite mozenrath headcanons/or headcanons in general ? :D

I mean, I see him as a very anti-social person most of the time - his ideal fun day is just reading in his library all day - but I do think if you met him up with people who shared his lack of moral compass and ambitious fervor, his walls would come down a bit. (I mean, I have a whole crossover fic about this, and then I got into a Disney villain RP where I wrote as him and the exact same thing ended up happening with a different group of characters entirely)

I think it’s pretty canon at this point that his favorite color is blue, but in case it isn’t - he loves blue. Everything must be blue. It’s an AESTHETIC.

I’ve modified my backstory for him a few times, but it usually boils down to: he was one of Cassim’s children (I used to have him as Aladdin’s twin but now he’s a half-brother who peaced out of that house when Aladdin was a babey), he felt his father was an absolute jerk who didn’t understand his intellectual pursuits (and really, his instincts were kinda right, since Cassim ran off), he set out to find the most feared man in the Seven Deserts on purpose, Destane was impressed that a kiddo had managed to make it all the way to the Black Sands without dying, too bad Destane was more in the mood for a personal servant and test subject than an actual apprentice, but don’t get me wrong, as horrible as he was to Mozenrath, Mozenrath had actually fantasized about world domination BEFORE turning up on his door - and then, finally, Mozenrath got a lucky shot and managed to suck the life out of Destane.

Also, Destane at least kept the people of the Black Sands human while he subjected them to his iron-fisted rule. Mozenrath was the one who decided they should all be shambling undead

He doesn’t want to talk about the actual two weeks he spent inside Dagger Rock. I’m thinking Mirage let him out for a lark because she knew the playing field was just that more evil with him on it

Mozenrath can literally necromance - the Mamluks aren’t just drained of life force; they were killed and brought back intentionally half-souled. He’s a one-in-a-million case for having this ability; however, necromancy =/= healing and therefore he cannot extend his own life force with his own magic, nor can he resurrect himself once his own soul hits the afterlife

He isn’t a Muslim but actually closer to a Zoroastrian/Mithraist. This ties in to how I am pretty sure the Black Sands is Persia/Iran (but this is a more common larger headcanon). He may have been born into a Muslim family, but the moment he turned his back on Destane, he decided to adopt a practice that made more sense to him. However, in Mithraism, the belief is that Mithras, the good god, will defeat Ahriman, lord of evil. Mozenrath wants this to be the other way around. I actually like subbing in “Ahriman” for him for expressions where we might casually use “God” - “Oh, goddammit” for us = “Oh, Ahriman curse it” for him.

He also has a thorough knowledge of the other gods of the world. Just in case.

It’s canon that he knows about at least one other world, as he pulled the Thirdac from it. If you like thinking about Mozenrath in the Kingdom Heartsverse, nobody needs to explain to him what a Keyblade is; if Sora drew one in front of him, he’d just be “Oh. One of THOSE. All right, you’re a world-hopper.” He might’ve even toured a few.

This is more of a general Agrabah headcanon - ever notice how in the series, there ALWAYS seems to be a new sorcerer whose time has passed but left a MacGuffin lying around? Wizard Khufu, the Witches of the Sand, Khartoum, Shamash, Destane...I have it that before the generation Aladdin is set in fully took hold, there was an “Age of Sorcery” where these sorcerers controlled all. Jafar was basically the end of it; Mozenrath is a one-man revival who takes his cues from the sorcerers from old and studies their legacies. (Well, okay, Ayam Aghoul is another example in his own way)

Mozenrath and Ayam Aghoul are the two most compatible Agrabah rogues; we were robbed when they never had a team-up episode. Most of the folks at the Guild of Thieves, such as Amin Damoola, Abis Mal, or Mechanicles, Mozenrath could not STAND. Aghoul GETS him, though. They both have morbid fascinations with death and ample collections of magic. Total bros.

Mozenrath isn’t afraid of death. Well, mostly not. What happens is that when the gauntlet starts to burn him too fast, he panics and realizes this might not be exactly what he wanted. But usually, he doesn’t mind spending a lot of his life force at a time because he feels it’s worth it, and sometimes, when faced with a near-death experience, he’s just...ready, only to be glad when he finds himself alive. His actual greatest fear is of dying sick/old/weak in bed. He wants to die going out with a bang: using up his last life force on some amazing spell that lets him get the last word.

The gauntlet has his affected body in constant pain - wherever the edge of his flesh is. (I used to think that around the time of the series, it was only his arm; then I saw an AMAZING fanart of him with his skin stripped from half his upper body so you could see through to his beating heart and I LOVE THAT so that’s where I place him.) However, it’s comparatively mild; just incessant. His pain tolerance is slightly better than most, but not completely (the Mukhtar’s ropes backfiring on him were significantly a different beast than the eating away of the gauntlet).

Gay, but during the time of the series, has never really cared enough about finding a partner to even wonder what his sexuality is. When your company is countless rotting undead, you don’t really have much room to find your type (though Ayam Aghoul would disagree and say that’s the BEST place to find your type - incidentally, to follow up, I don’t ship Mozenrath and Aghoul. They’re just bros. Aghoul is pretty straight and also incredibly not Mozenrath’s romantic type - though I did once read an amusing AU fanfiction that suggested Mozenrath was the person who Aghoul tried to “marry” with the enchanted pendant and also the one who turned it to backfire on him).

Don’t give him coffee. Just...don’t. He doesn’t handle coffee well. He gets incredibly hyperactive (read: destructive) and then just crashes unconscious.

I think that’s all I can think of for now. As soon as I hit “Post” I’m going to realize something super important I forgot, I KNOW it

Well, okay, this one is not really relevant to canon-compliant works but his drag name would be Brandisia Black it’s a long story

[nostalgicatsea]

If it's important for all creators to write more characters of color, why are all your fics on AO3 about white people? I get where you're coming from, though I think people should be able to ship and create for whatever they want, but if you personally have a problem with it, I'm surprised all your stuff is about Steve and Tony who were second highest on your list.

I knew I’d eventually get this message, and I have no problem answering it. 1. When I said we should all examine ourselves for implicit biases, I meant everyone. I’m not exempt. None of us are free from racism, even POC like me.  

2. I agree with you that people should ship and create whatever they want and explicitly stated that in my post, something that people keep ignoring. I was merely pointing out that this problem goes beyond the individual and is more, for the lack of a better term, systemic, and urging people to see if there are any patterns they may not have even been aware of in creation and consumption.   3. I made this handle specifically for Steve/Tony content, though as my Tumblr about page has stated since the beginning: “Other ships and non-Marvel fandoms may occasionally appear too.” I’ve had multiple other writing accounts before for other fandoms (and this may happen when I move on from Marvel at some point, but I don’t know) which I’ll go into in #4. 4. In my post, I said, “if you only create and consume works for a single ship, which a good number of people do (many people only get into a fandom because of an OTP!), it’s fine if it’s a white M/M ship... However, it IS a problem if most or all of your other ships across your current and previous fandoms are white—and if the only media you consume is predominantly or all white.” This applies to me. When I get into a fandom, I hyper-fixate on one ship and that fandom. If a ship reaches the extremely rare OTP status, that’s even more true—to the point that even if I like other fandoms, they fall to the wayside because I’m still stuck in the one with my OTP. This is not unique to Steve/Tony. As for the two non-Marvel fics, those were presents to a friend and wouldn’t have been made had she not requested them.  I also don’t have any issue with ships of color—in fact, I have actively shipped many and still do. I have consumed and made fanworks for ships of color and continue to do so. I’d say 95–99% of my ships were and are those with POC (usually both of the characters are POC), and the same goes for a lot (most?) of the Marvel ships I’m fond of. I still read, look at fanart, etc. of those ships when I’m not hyper-fixating as much. A lot of that has to do with my media consumption. I mostly consumed works that were by and/or featured people of color predominantly or entirely throughout my life. That’s still true now, though there are some areas that have been more evenly split or the balance has tipped over to the white side more than I would like over the past few years (e.g., my TV consumption). That’s something I’m actively trying to rectify! 5. I do have several WIPs and drabbles of POC in Marvel; they just haven’t been posted (this actually applies to a good 99% of the works I have overall because I never finish things, can’t come up with a story for an idea, or can’t get into the right emotional mindset for it). Though I mostly use this account for mostly for Steve/Tony content, I’ve really wanted to get these things done because there are characters of color I care about and have wanted to make works for for a while. 

It’s one of the reasons why I offered several characters, relationships, and entire fandoms of color for beta and digital work auctions for @marveltrumpshate in 2018 and beta and fic auctions in 2019. I’m planning to continue that for MTH 2020, and I’m signing up for @marvelfans4blm too! It’s a good way to make certain or try to ensure that you’re pushed to put your money where your mouth is. However, I also want to say that I plan on writing fics for characters and ships of color separate from charity auctions, just on my own too. 

Anyway, as per usual, this went on too long, but I hope that answers your question! I don’t mind that you asked me it and am glad that you did.

[isabel3710]

Aro-Spec Pride

Sander Sides Fanfiction

Summary: Logan is not one to scroll through Tumblr. However, he's glad of the one time he did.

Word Count: 916

Logan didn’t often spend time on sites such as Tumblr, he found it pointless to waste time looking at pictures with humorous captions when he could be doing something productive. Sometimes, though, he found it necessary. Logan would often help write the scripts for Thomas’ videos. Usually, he was in charge of the research behind them but he did enjoy coming up with plot lines and ideas as well.

Today was one of those days when Logan was trying to find new video ideas for Roman, usually, this consisted of him looking online to see what the fans liked from past videos. However, one problem of him looking on social media sites was him finding things that didn’t relate to the videos. Most of the time he found it annoying, but this time he was intrigued.

The post he had found was of a photo, but not the normal ‘memes’ as Virgil liked to call them. It was of the Aromantic flag with different colored text written over the top. The text read: 'AroSpec Awareness Week Feb 16- Feb 22.' It had caught Logan’s eye because he was Aromantic or Aro as most people called it.

For the next few hours, Logan lost himself in Tumblr posts all surrounding Aro-Spec Awareness Week. He found posts of people talking about their experiences with being on the spectrum, he saw ‘memes,’ and he ever saw edits and fanart of him and his fellow sides all decked out in green.

And Logan was happy, happy that there was an entire week dedicated to the spectrum he was on. And as he scrolled through more posts Logan decided that he wanted to do something to celebrate as well.

-------

It took some time before Logan decided what he wanted to do, and when he did he decided that he was going to need some help. Yes, he could just summon what he wanted but Logan wasn’t the best when it came to summoning. That was Roman’s domain. So, the logical side approached the one who would be the best equipped to help him. Virgil.

Logan stood in front of the dark purple door, not bothering to hesitate as he knocked. It swung open to reveal the side he was looking for.

“Hey, Lo." Virgil said, “what’s up?”

“I need your help,” Logan said.

The anxious side stifled a yawn as he looked at him through his bangs. “Let me guess, you need my help in telling Princey off again?”

Logan chucked “no, I need your help with a project I am working on.”

“Okay, what project?”

Now, this was the moment in which the intellectual side paused “do you know what Aro-Spec Awareness Week is?”

“Yeah.” Virgil said, “what about it?"

“Well, as you are aware. I am Aromantic” Logan said, “so since there is a week dedicated to ‘Aro Pride and Awareness’ I thought I would make something to show my support.”

“And you need my help with it?” Virgil clarified.

“Yes.”

The darker aspect paused, thinking it over before nodding “okay, yeah I’ll help you.”

“Excellent.”

“Cool," Virgil said, “so why don’t you tell me what you're thinking.” Logan nodded before he began to explain his thought process.

------

It had taken a couple of days to finish Logan’s Project, luckily it was still Aro-Spec Awareness Week when he did. To be honest, if it hadn’t been for Virgil’s help Logan didn’t know if he would have known where to start. Let alone finish it.

It was towards the end of the week when Logan walked downstairs to breakfast wearing his new, handmade necktie. The tie was hand-dyed in the colors of the Aromantic flag and hand sewed, two things Logan (originally) didn’t know how to do. Luckily, Virgil had some experience from when he had made his patchwork hoodie. Logan knew that Virgil had both dyed and sewn the patches unto the jacket, which was why he had come to his darker counterpart in the first place.

“Ahh, Logan!” Patton cried when he saw him, throwing his arms around the logical side “you look so good!”

“Uh thank you, Patton,” Logan said. Untangling himself from his friend’s arms and clearing his throat slightly.

“Wow Specs, only you could find a way to show pride in the nerdiest way possible,” Roman said with a smirk.

“...Thank you, Roman.” To be honest Logan didn’t understand his friends’ reactions. After all, they shouldn’t be that surprised. In Thomas’ videos, he did tend to wear the same necktie, yes, but in the Mind Place, he wore a variety of ties. Wanting to understand Logan questioned them about their reaction.

“I’m just so proud,” Patton said “you never really show off any kind of expression of your identity. Even after you came out.”

“Yeah, the rest of us have always shown off a little bit of self-expression. Roman does with his personality and Patton wears his flag’s colors on a bracelet.” Virgil gestured to the friendship bracelet that Patton wore.

“And I do it in my jacket,” Virgil continued gesturing to his black and purple jacket that they all knew was to represent his Asexuality. “But you don’t do anything.”

“Yes, I am aware,” Logan said, “however, I thought that now was the perfect time to do so.”

“Why?” Roman asked.

“It is Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week.” Logan explained “or Aro-Spec Awareness Week as I’ve found most people calling it.”

“That’s so cool!” Patton said with a wide grin.

Logan smiled back “I agree.”

[7-oh-ta1]

Soso sorry i dont think yoshiki was trying to shut her up by yelling back at her. Wasnt he just arguing same as her? They were both yelling & i get she why she was scared but dont think he’d considered their size difference, or that he expects anything from her for helping her from being a vegetable. I am sorry about how the fandom is though & yeah i feel kinda pathetic trying to defend a fictional ship but I’m pathetic lol. You don’t have to dignify this with a response or whatever

Nah dude, you're fine! As long as you're not arguing just for arguments sake and vaguing about me on other platforms, I don't mind having a conversation. 😌

!!!HOWEVER!!!

Dude, if you like this ship, please go bonkers over it. Go write a fanfiction and make some fanart. You don't need to gain validation from me or anyone to like a ship. Instead of talking about it to people who dislike the ship, I implore you to find like minded people (Ay*shiki shippers are e v e r y w h e r e you can't miss em) and explore what you enjoy about it. I will never be able to validate your belief that it's a good ship because I think it's a toxic ship with too many red flags. That's why I'm saying this. And I'm not saying you can't talk to me or anything cause it's just a ship!! I'm just saying I can't fulfill the Ay*shiki need, you know?

That being said, let's talk the entranceway scene. This scene isn't a bad scene, I think it gives a good insight on the difference between these two and how they perceive things.

"They were both yelling & I get she why she was scared but [I] don't think he’d considered their size difference..."

You're right on your mark here, they were mutually arguing, and Yoshiki wasn't thinking about their size difference. That's the thing: most men usually don't think about that. They just think it's an argument and naturally they want to win the argument, which winning is the other person shutting up (therefore he has the last word and the argument is over).

However, that's the point. Yoshiki wasn't considering Ayumi's feelings at all. He wasn't considering why she started calling him names (not thinking about size difference), and he just lashed out back.

"She hurt his feelings >:( He has a right to be angry and yell in her face!" (in quotes cause it's an opinion I used to have)

Here's the thing. Without getting into a personal example, I can tell you 100% that the way Ayumi responded in that situation to him raising his voice at her was a defensive response, from the way she worded it but also the way her VA portrayed it. Not defensive because her feelings were hurt, but defensive because she is alone with her delinquent classmate who is larger than her and instead of understanding what she was saying beforehand, he gets aggressive and starts yelling and she needs to cut him down with words before he gets anymore aggressive. It's not my go-to response but it's actually very realistic, I've seen my sister react this way multiple times when a man is physically aggressive towards her. (She's 5'0 and so most men are very much so larger than her)

"I don't think Yoshiki was trying to shut her up by yelling back at her. Wasn't he just arguing same as her?"

Most men never see their behavior as aggressive. They don't think towering over you and tensing their shoulders and yelling is aggressive. They think they're just making their point. In fact they do it almost subconsciously. (Bonus Points if you call them out on it and they scream, "I'm not being aggressive!!" in your face) But they're not just making a point to a girl OR boy that's that much smaller than them. It's physical intimidation, whether Yoshiki thinks he's doing it or not. And he did get what he wanted, no? The argument stopped, at the low low price of towering over a tiny girl and making her feel smaller than she already is. Did he see anything wrong with this behavior? (as in, did he think he was physically intimidating her?) No. In his mind, he would never do something like that, in fact he's trying to protect her!

But he still did it. How Yoshiki feels about what he did literally doesn't matter. It made Ayumi uncomfortable and small enough to shrink away and shut up. How it made Ayumi feel is what matters because it affects her. He didn't have any consequences for the way he acted, she did. Ayumi was flinging insults as a defense, and Yoshiki was standing over her as an offense. The fact that he failed to realize how wrong his behavior was and at least apologize is a major red flag to me on toxic behavior. (Because from his POV, his feelings were hurt! :( She was the meanie!)

The problem (to me) here is that you're treating Yoshiki like the victim in this scenario. "But what about him? How did he feel?" when regardless of how he felt he still physically intimidated her.

TL;DR:

I saw your other ask saying you don't blame Ayumi, and that's wonderful, but you're still treating Yoshiki like he's on the short end of the argument when the truth is we only see this scene from his POV, so it's easy to sympathize with him.

I also want to say that while this scene is one of the major driving points for me, it's not the only reason I hate Ay*shiki. It's just the one I brought up for that rant. I've already said a lot of my reasons before and quite frankly do we really want to go into all that? Maybe on a concise bullet list but that seems arbitrary to me.

As for your last line:

"...or that he expects anything from her for helping her from being a vegetable."

I'm not exactly sure what you mean here and it's certainly not anything I talked about in that post. Also regardless of his actions she is most definitely in a vegetative state at the end of BD and beginning of DP, if that's what you mean. You'll have to elaborate further, if you want!

I'll say it: you're not pathetic or dumb. There's nothing wrong with liking or LOVING this ship. You just won't get any validation about how swell from me and that's okay. You don't need my approval to enjoy things. I'm glad you liked my headcanon about Satoshi and I hope you know you don't need to apologize! You have every right to like what you like, you just won't find it's content here anymore. It's all well and good you don't find the ship toxic, but I do find there to be too many red flags for me and I'm going to say it regardless.

[ducklooney]

My first fanfiction-Quack Pack fanfiction?!

Here is finally something to do, I would just ask for some mistakes that I have right now on fanfiction to correct me and show me some things that are wrong, since they are certainly written the way I imagine those things. Thank you in advance for your help. Since unfortunately not only on Tumblr, but also on Instagram and on Deviantart and other social networks there are few things related to the cartoon series "Quack Pack", I decided to write fanfiction. Since unfortunately there is not much fanart related to Quack Pack, I wish there was a little more, I actually thought I was drawing related to it, but since I do not have the conditions for it, and I draw on my computer and it turns out a little bad, I decided to do better with fanfiction writing, but not the ones most write, but quite different, mostly from my perspective, the way I would like it to be in my fanfiction. Who will and who will read and like what I will write about now (I will post at the beginning on my blog, then I will see what happens later), he can. Freely draw based on my story, and I would love to be a little more fanart related to the Quack Pack. I know the Quack Pack has had some problems and I'm sure to include many things in my fanfiction story, first and foremost from the comic book world, and this fanfiction is actually going to be some kind of crossover. Please note that this is my first fanfiction and there will probably be mistakes I make and please correct me. Thank you for your understanding. And if I forgot, it would mostly be based on Donald Duck and his nephews Huey, Dewey and Louie Duck (but in the Quack Pack version) and Daisy Duck, but there might be characters that could appear, but unfortunately they didn't appeared in the Quack pack but will certainly pop up in my fanfiction story, but it will be a surprise. There is so much to begin with, and I will certainly start over and this story will be divided into parts. Here I am going to start with my fanfiction story and I want you to enjoy my story and apologize in advance for some things I have offended by something and made some mistakes that made you offended and I apologize for that. And yes, if there are any questions, feel free to ask me. Here's a start:

Morning. It was dawn, actually. July month. Yesterday was over thirty degrees, and it's not easy for ducks to keep that temperature under so many feathers, and so is Donald Duck, who has experienced everything in his life and so on. He slept in one solid dream, and he certainly dreamed of beating the Evronians as a Duck Avenger, or of fighting Maui Mallard with his martial arts, or how he, as a Double Duck, perform special espionage missions to save the world or simply how he likes to fish on one lake and enjoy it. Whatever it is, he certainly loves that kind of dream. However, someone interrupts him, in the sense of someone or something interrupting his dream. Yes, it was a boring alarm clock and digital. It was four o'clock in the morning and Donald slammed his fist into his alarm clock to turn it off. He turned off the alarm clock and stood up all awake, realizing what day it would be like today. Yes, he will have a lot of work to do, both as a cameraman and as a reporter, but not with Kent Powers, who fired him long ago, but with Everett Ducklair, his chief. Yes, Donald hated Everett as much as he did Kent Powers before, as he kept upsetting his life by forcing him to do some trivial things instead of his main job, such as cleaning toilets, hallways, halls, and the like. Fortunately, for all his work, he was paid a lot of money, and with that Donald could be satisfied, first of all, because he devoted all his money to his beloved nephews. When he had some free time or a break at work, he thought of Huey, Dewey, and Louie, who were no longer young children and could soon be adults. They have long since entered puberty, their personalities have formed, and they will soon start whether or not for a year in high school. Although they had different traits, they still acted as a team except in some things. Donald, of course, first went to the bathroom to do his work, so he washed and brushed his teeth. Afterwards, he put on his Hawaiian shirt and went to have his breakfast. After breakfast, he got ready for work, but before he went to work, he wanted to go to his nephews' room to see if they were sleeping any longer. As they continue to sleep, Donald merely smiled at them and slowly approached them and gave them his parental kiss on their cheeks, but they did not notice or feel it after they slept soundly. Donald then left their room and walked down the stairs to retrieve his business bag. Yes, at that point it was five o'clock in the morning, but of course Donald had to get to work early, as his boss had ordered him to do. He had to be at work at six o'clock. So he took it in his bag, in the meantime he heard a loud voice, and Donald replied:

"Silence!", And gestured Donald with his index finger to his beak as a sign of silence, and pointed to the top floor, thinking it was one of his nephews. As the loud noise stopped, Donald turned to the hall and then to the door and meanwhile, his nephew Louie Duck appeared in his pajamas with a backwards cap and said to Louie his uncle: "Can I please Uncle Donald go with you to work?" "No!" Donald replies loudly, "you can't go to work, and besides getting out of bed now, is it too early to play and go to school?" "Uncle Donald, so we're on vacation now, school's not working during the month of July, have you forgotten that? Besides, we'll be alone when you're gone," Louie said, and Donald suddenly thought and put his hand on his forehead as that he had done something wrong. And they sit in a small chair in the hall.

I almost forgot about it. Yes, I worry about you, that something bad doesn't happen to you. I can't quite leave you alone. Especially not to my worst neighbor in the history of humanity, Neighbor Jones, and his family. It just makes a mess in my yard and makes my life even worse, and again I would not move, ”Donald said, sad. "Don't think so badly Uncle D, you're for my brothers and for me my best uncle, and also the best parent we have. You always think of us and keep an eye on us whenever you can, even if my brothers and I make hell instead let’s make paradise for you. ”Louie said as she approached her uncle. Uncle Donald hugged Louie crying with happiness and said, "You never make me hell, even if you sometimes ruin my house, but I'm very happy to have you, as if you were my sons and not my nephews. Without you I'm empty man." "Don't, Uncle Donald. So you have the best cousins you have, you have your girlfriend Daisy, who is also our aunt, you have Uncle Scrooge, you have best friends Panchito and Jose, and Goofy certainly, our mom Della, who is in space right now, and now I can't remember who else. But you have more support than you think, "Louie said, hugging his uncle. "Oooohh... Thank you Louie, but I have to tell you something and please promise me you won't tell your brothers or anyone, especially Fethry Duck. Okay?" "All right, Uncle Donald. But why?" Louie asked, wondering who was hiding something, since he was of such a nature that he neither loves nor can lie. "Here, Louie, why. You and I know that Uncle Scrooge and I had a fight, don't you?" "I know, Uncle D. I'm sad it must have happened, and I haven't seen Uncle Scrooge in a long time. I know he's a lot of stingy and hard-hearted, but I know for sure, and I believe he surely deep in our heart, thinks of us, and we probably miss him . ”Louie replies sadly. "Ooohh ... I know Louie, but then again, he only thinks of himself and his business and especially his money and I don't think I'm sending you there. In my opinion, better come to you Webby and Mrs. Beakly, than you to you go to Scrooge. And I wouldn't argue about it any more. Okay?!” "All right, Uncle D." Louie sighed miserably. "Next, my only real friends are Jose Carioca, Panchito, partly Goofy, Gyro Gearloose and Fenton. They are the only ones who give me confidence," Donald replied. "What about One? Lyla Lay? Kay K? Reginella? Don't they matter to you? And what about Fethry and Gus Goose?" Louie asked mysteriously. "Be quiet! Don't hear anyone. I know, but these are my private affairs, so don't talk to anyone about this or you won't go on adventures with me like Duck Avenger! Okay?!" - Donald replies angrily. "All right, Uncle Donald," Louie replies. "Yes, I know you very much love my cousin Fethry, or your further uncle, but I'm afraid to make a mess again so I have to pay big fines later. Remember the last time Fethry guarded you?" Donald asked. "I remember. But it was fun. We had a great time with Fethry and my cousin, or Fethry's nephew Dugan Duck," Louie says excitedly. "I know, but a mess was made, and besides, I had a lot of reports from my awkward neighbors. I can't allow such things next time. You understand what I'm talking about, don't you?" "I know, Uncle Donald. I know." Louie says sadly. "Then you know why I can't trust you, my cousin Gus Goose." "I know, because he only thinks about the food he eats all the time," Louie replies. "Not only that, but because he's too stupid," Donald replies. "Okay, but he's fun too," Louie replies. "Yes I know, but I can't take the risk again. What I'm talking about is babysitting, and since I can't trust everyone, I can only entrust that job to Dickie Duck, Goldie's granddaughter. I just hope she's not too busy writing her student master's work. " "Dickie is great. I don't mind being a babysitter. She's never bored with it," Louie replies happily. "I'm glad about that. I'll talk to her and if she's free, she'll come to watch over you. Okay?" "Ok, Uncle D." "Now, back to bed." "All right, Uncle." "And don't tell anyone about this, okay?" "Ok. And good luck at work, Uncle D."                                                                "Thank you Louie. Goodbye! See you in the evening," Donald said, getting up and heading for the door, in the meantime ringing the phone. "Who's calling this at this time ?!" Donald mumbled and picked up the phone and asked, "Who is it?" “Can I keep your nephews safe?” Fethry asked cheerfully in his sweater, living two blocks away from the Donald. "Noooooo!" - Donald angrily answered and hung up. Poor Fethry. All in all, he takes his bag and wristwatch, leaves the house, runs to the bus station, manages to catch the bus and leaves for work. However, it was six o'clock in the morning. Louie Duck goes to his room and goes to his deck chair (this was also his bed) and in his pajamas, wearing his cap on his head, reads a comic book while his brothers sleep. But Louie didn't read any comics related to super heroes, he read a comic about Darkwing Duck, which really existed in his world.

End of Chapter One.