#i am jumping from wall to wall like a rabid animal

[whatsitzface]

There's just something about Newt's death scene (in the movies) thats insane to me.

He's fighting himself. He's fighting Thomas. He tries to shoot himself but Thomas throws the gun away. (As if throwing away what happened in the books. The option of Newt getting shot - nevermind Thomas pulling the trigger - isn't even a possibility. Thomas HIMSELF threw away that option.) And then - as they are somewhere between a vicious fight and a desperate grapple - Thomas hugs Newt. And Newt stabs himself IN THE HEART. As if Thomas' love is the thing that kills Newt.

[tfrinpin]

Hullo. I am amongst the living.

This little idea kept nagging at me, so here we are: TFP where Op goes ✨FERAL✨

So y’know that whole shtick about “they had a secret relationship all along?” Well this is sort of like that, basically— yes, Megs and Op have had a secret relationship ever since the Orion arc. Megs kept in contact because he missed Optimus SO MUCH. And the war has been going on for so long. Also they can fix Cybertron together. But MOSTLY Megs missed Optimus.

Things go along, now they’re definitely considering peace time and even drafting a treaty to share with their respective factions.

But a little bump in the road comes in the form of someone that Megs DID NOT expect to see— MegaZarak. And instead of Zarak heavily injures Optimus or tortures him, like a previous idea I’ve had before— I’ve thought of something a little more heart wrenching. Shit goes down right when Prime and Megs are about to establish peace: Zarak beats out Megs from the title as leader of the Decepticons. He retreats, and escapes via ground ridge thanks to Optimus and the crew. Knockout, BreakDown, SW, and DreadWing follow after him, ever the loyal soldiers (and they also dont want to deal with Zarak). But Optimus gets nabbed just before he jumps through the ground bridge, and he’s now a prisoner to Zarak. So to fuck with Megs even more, Zarak uses the Botched Synthetic Energon to make Op go FERAL.

Like he’s a literal beast on a leash, fangs and all— and Megs, when staging a rescue operation, is torn because he doesnt want to hurt Op, but he has no choice because OP IS FERAL AND HE WILL LITERALLY GET HIS FACE RIPPED OFF. Optimus’ optics are the striking green just like when Ratchet messed around with it earlier on in the series. (Don’t do drugs kids)

He’s got Optimus pinned and he’s trying disparately to pierce through the feral veil that’s blinding the Prime. And there’s a small, tiny moment where Optimus calms down, and his optics flash blue. He tries to speak but his words are staticky and jumbled. Megs reaches out a soothing hand over Op’s face, but unfortunately the touching moment is short lived when Optimus’ optics flash green again, and he goes back to fighting like a rabid animal.

Megs has no choice to knock Optimus out and take him to the wreckage of the Harbinger where both bots and cons have established a new base since the one is Jasper got blown to bits. So Megs is looking through the cell door of the brig, watching as a feral Op is chained to a wall, snarling, growling, and trying to rid himself of his bindings. Ratchet establishes that it’ll probably take days, maybe WEEKS to flush the botched synthetic energon from Prime’s frame. Megs, ever the stubborn mech, refuses to give up on his Prime— so he sits, and waits, and assists where he can in order to bring his Prime back to himself.

So yeah, an idea where Optimus is pretty much having to be treated like a wild beast the whole time until they can get the botched synth energon out of him.

You’re welcome.

[shinobusupremecy]

May I request a Hashira reader where our g/n reader keeps their distance because they have a secret and that is that they have wings? And they have a psychological trauma in the past because their parents thought they were an abomination so they cut them off. But the result is that they regrow every 6 months which further their hatred for our dear reader. As a result, the reader has developed a strong a disgust and fear of them. So after their parents died, our reader took over in cutting their wings and Shinobu just so happens to catch at the moment when they are going to cut them off much to the reader's horror.

Shinobu x gn!reader with wings

A/N: I don’t know if I should’ve made the reader human or demon so I guess you can decide. This is my oldest request in my inbox. 

This is headcannon kinda mixed with a oneshot. Mostly so I can write the scenes and all that. 

As usual, not proofread. I am again very sorry.

🦋- You have always been a very unique child, but not in the way that people think. You had wings, fully grown out spreaded wings

🦋- Your parents were not fond of your wings, they despised it and thought you were an abomination

🦋- They told you that you’re wings are gonna be cut but you didn’t want to. You could just imagine how painful it was so you protested. 

“Mom, dad, no! Please I- I don’t want you to cut off my wings!” You yelled at them, backing further away from them, you jumped when your back hit the wall.

“Sweetie, it will all be over soon” Your mother said, speaking with a soft false tone. 

Your mother approached you like you were some rabid animal, when you think about it, that’s probably how they saw you. 

“Darling, hold her down” Your mother commanded your father and he quickly grabbed you, holding you down with an iron grip, probably because he was a former demon slayer. You yelled and thrashed, trying to hit him so he would let go but that man had an iron grip. 

Your mother brought out a very big scissors and that night, your screams echoed the dark night. 

🦋- To your very much dismay and your parents, your wings regrew every 6 months. That furthured their hatred for you and the same process happened every 6 months, they cut your wings. Sometimes they even did it earlier than they’re supposed to. 

🦋- As much as your parents hated you, you hated them more. You were convinced of that. How can they call themself a parent, when they put their child into physcological trauma for something they can’t even help? 

🦋- After your parents went out on an anniversery night, you noticed that they never came home, even when the skies turned black and the ground was coated with snow. You didn’t want to, but for some reason you went out to look for them

🦋- You don’t even know why you did it, they could die for all you cared. Your wish came true however when you saw your parents on the trail you were walking on, completely mauled into a bloody mess. Their clothes were shredded but so was them, your dads sword laying on the ground. 

🦋- You’re not suprised he couldn’t kill that demon, he retired from the corps 20 years ago due to an heavy injury

🦋- Suddenly you heard quick rustlings, some growling and all silent before you heard yelling and you threw yourself to the side. There in front of you were a disgusitng looking creature with your moms arm in his mouth. He pounced on you. You grabbed the sword and took off your jacket, using your wings to fly up

🦋- The demon looked least to say confused and you dove in, finishing the demon off quickly

🦋- Ever since then you realized that these disgusting demons will cause other families sorrow and you didn’t want that so you became a demon slayer 

🦋- You hated your wings, they were the reason why you never got love in your childhood or from the people that were supposed to love you so you took over and cut your wings

🦋- You rose up to Hashira rank real quick and that made many in the corps admire you, same like they did with Muichiro and Gyomei. You didn’t become a hashira as fast as them but it was still extremely quickly. 

🦋- When you met the hashiras they quickly noticed that you were just like Tomioka, you were quiet, didn’t interact alot with them and you kept your distance 

🦋- That lead to two pillars disliking you instantly but you were fine with that. As long as they don’t know your secret, you didn’t care

🦋- On a mission you got injuried and sent to the butterfly estate. But it was that time again were you had to cut off your wings. You had locked yourself in your room and decided to cut your wings there

🦋- Shinobu was accustomed to your anit-social behaviour. She knew you were in your room recovering but she got really concerned when she didn’t hear you respond despite her callings

🦋- She noticed it was locked and knocked the door harder. 

“Y/N, darling please open the door!” No response. Shinobu brought out a key and unlocked the door just to see you with your wings fully spread out and you about to cut them off

🦋- Shinobu dropped her keys, she was absolutely stunned to say the least. She slightly pinched herself to see if this was a dream

🦋- Your face paled, your motuh slightly agape before you quickly bursted to the window trying to flee. Shinobu was quicker and managed to pull you back in

🦋- “Y/N I want you to breathe, please. Deep breaths” She wished she could take her own advice because she was sure she was about to faint

🦋- Shinobu sat you down on the bed and asked you what this was about

🦋- You told her your story. If you began to cry then Shinobu would happily let you do so, she doesn’t care if her haori gets wet

🦋- After that Shinobu spoke to you reassuringly that she would come up with something to solve this

🦋- You thanked her and quickly hugged her, your wings automatically engulfing Shinobu. Shinobu tensed a little at first but tried to hide it, not wanting to distress you any further

🦋- If you want to keep it a secret and cut off your wings then Shinobu will respect your decision. She can imagine cutting off two limbs like that would be very painful so she will give you some pain killer pills. 

🦋- You might not like to cut your wings off but you still hate them then Shinobu will try to make you love them. She won’t force you but she will tell you what good things there are about your wings and then the descision is up to you

🦋- If you grew to love your wings then she will happily watch you fly with them, watching you with a smile on her face as you fly around the estate with a big smile on your face 

🦋- Shinbou will think that your wings are incredibly useful in fighting and slaying demons so if you decide you wanna use your wings for slaying demons she would be more than happy to help you, coming up with some great moves you could do. As a pharmasist she will throw some math calculations in there to ensure you that you will use your wings to slay demons with max efficency

🦋- She will also make you a cloak for you to hide your wings. 

🦋- If you don’t wanna keep it a secret anymore, please brace yourself how awkward the Hashira meeting will be. Imagine Shinobu having to explain you’re a human with wings to her comrades. If the hashira didn’t know better they would think you’re a demon with a very good human disguise, besides the wings

🦋- Also excpect her to wanna study and experimante with you. You are one of a kind, who knows what amazing discoveries Shinobu can make with you

🦋- Overall Shinobu would respect what ever descision you decide to make about your wings. Just know Shinobu loves your wings and she wishes you could love them too.

Extra (this is based on if you keep your wings) 

🦋- Never in her wildest dreams could she dream of being an s/o to someone with wings. Don’t worry, she loves it and so does the other girls in the butterfly resident

🦋- She loves the way you interact with the catterpillars (Sumi, Naho and Kiyo). You often let them ride your back while you fly, low height of course and always someone there to supervise you all. So far though, no accidents has occured

🦋- Shinobu LIVES for your hugs you give her after you or her have compleated a mission. She loves the way your wings engulf her whole form. First it scared her a little but she has grown to love it. 

🦋- Don’t get me started on the cuddling sessions. One of the things she loves the most most is when she lays on your chest as you engulf her in a hug, with your wings draped around her. She also like it when you lay on her chest as your wings are just stretched over the bed. She finds that sight adorable 

🦋- She loves you but you may be prohibited to enter her lab. Her lab is big but not enough for your wings fully stretched. She knows you will knock something down sooner or later and she rather not risk it 

🦋- Another problem is that your wings shed some feathers sometimes. Shinobu always store your feathers in a box, she takes your feathers as very dear to her. The other girl does the same. When your wings shed the catterpillars compeate on how many feathers they have of you.

🦋 - Trust me when I say this but if you wanna make Shinobu laugh go on a mission together and when you spot a demon let the demon run to you before you fly up. The different shocked reactions the demons make gets Shinobu every time.

[the-iceni-bitch]

I’m the One to Blame

Pairing: Paul Diskant x DA fem!Reader, mentions of Andy Barber x DA fem!Reader (part 2 of Queen Bitch series)

Words: ~2.2k

Summary: Fucking you only made him hate you more.

Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content (fingering, unprotected vaginal sex, hate sex, rough sex, slight choking, cream pie, degradation, semi-public sex), cheating, everyone is an asshole except poor Andy, heavy misogyny, SMUT!!! 18+ ONLY!!!

A/N: I’m just a bad person I guess? I’m just gonna give a blanket apology for my infidelity kink, this kinda got away from me and it’s just gonna get worse.

I am no longer doing taglists so if you want to stay up to date on all the latest filth, follow my sideblog @the-iceni-library and turn on notifications!!

As soon as you heard the not guilty verdict you should’ve known what was coming. The growls and rumbling coming from the crowd of cops seated behind you was your cue to get out of there, not wanting to wait around for the inevitable blame game where those dumbasses decided that the scumbag got off because you were a meddling bitch and not because none actually wanted to put in the work to make a case.

It had been almost two months of this shit. You hadn’t even wanted to press this case; the evidence was circumstantial and you were 75 percent sure Ludlow had intimidated at least two of the defense witnesses out of testifying. But then the assholes had gone over your head and your boss basically told you to try the case they gave you and not listening when you told him the jury wasn’t going to swallow it.

Of course they didn’t swallow it. And of course it was your fault. God forbid those lazy bastards do their fucking jobs. You could feel all their ire focusing on you as you started to move towards the door, your eyes meeting Diskant’s as he glared at you while Ludlow ranted at him. Sometimes you wondered if he was as big of a piece of shit as his partner, or if he was just a fucking idiot.

Paul felt his blood starting to boil as he watched you storm out of the courtroom, his jaw clenched so tight he was worried he might snap something. The way your gaze just slid over him like he was nothing made him even angrier, and the way your hips swayed in that tight little dress just served to remind him how goddamn frustrated he was. He couldn’t believe Andy actually let you go to court dressed like that.

He hated that every time he saw you all he could think about was that night at the Bell. He still couldn’t believe his fiancée had bought that the marks you left on him were from a struggle with a perp. Thoughts of how warm and wet you were around him had started bleeding into his mind at inopportune times, and the memory only made him angrier.

Ludlow was still ranting about you when Paul rose from the bench and followed after you, the last thing he heard being his partner talk about how he should give that cunt a piece of his mind. He spotted you heading towards the bathroom and strode after you, growling under his breath about how you kept fucking up his life.

You jumped a little when the bathroom door slammed open, rolling your eyes when you saw Diskant fuming at you through the mirror.

“You draw the short straw, Diskant?” You could see his teeth grinding and it made you smirk. “Go on, lay it on me.”

“You threw it, didn’t you?” He ran his hand over his face as he watched you bend over the sink, telling himself to keep his eyes off your ass as you washed your hands. “You got all pissy your boss made you do your job, and you tanked the case just to be a cunt?”

“Fuck you, Diskant.” You felt your hackles go up when he moved closer. “I do my fucking job. I’m sick of taking all the shit for when you assholes fuck up these cases, grow up.”

“I’m so sick of your fucking mouth.” He stepped forward and pressed his chest to your back, bracing his hands on either side of your body as he growled into your hair. “Every time you open it I just want to shove something in there to shut you the fuck up.”

“No, get off.” You gasped when when he ran a hand up your arm until he could curl it around your throat, tilting your head back so he could scrape his teeth over your jaw. “Paul, we’re not doing this again.”

“You telling me you don’t want it?” He snarled against your neck as he pushed you even closer to the sink, the marble edge cutting into your hips painfully while he other hand trailed down your hip to drag up your skirt.

You wanted it so bad it was making you sick. Every day you were filled with self loathing from the moment Andy kissed you awake until you sank into your bed in a tangle of limbs after he made soft, reverent love to you. But he never fucked you like Paul had the night of your stupid mistake, and when your core still ached as you laid awake against Andy’s chest while he slept deeply, all you could think about was Paul’s thick cock splitting you apart until you almost screamed. And you hated him for it.

“Nothing to say, princess?” Your lip curled at him in a low growl when he sneered at you through the mirror, hissing when he finally wrenched your skirt up around your waist and teased his fingers under the edge of your lace panties. “Tell you what, if you’re not already soaked like a fucking whore, I’ll stop.”

“Ow, bastard!” You tried to turn around and slap him when he literally ripped your panties off you, the breaking elastic snapping against your skin with a sting, but then he was dipping two fingers into your center and stroking your walls slowly so all you could do was whine.

“Knew it.” You heard the clink of his belt under his low chuckle, arching your back when you felt his freed cock slap against the curve of your ass and spreading your legs as slick leaked from around his fingers and coated the inside of your thighs. “Just love to play the stuck up bitch, but this pussy fucking weeps for me. Sick of your fucking teasing, you goddamn slut.”

“Shut up and just fuck me.” You braced your hand against the mirror and moaned when he finally slid inside you, screwing your eyes closed and swallowing thickly when he started slamming his hips into you.

“Fucking bitch.” He slapped your ass hard when you turned and snarled at him, groaning when you clenched tight around him in response and digging his fingers into your hip as he spread your cheeks apart to watch his shiny cock plunge into you.

He was rabid, barely any rhythm to his thrusts as he grunted with each push of his hips. The slap of his hips against your ass and the lewd, wet sloshes of your pussy sucking him back in filled the empty bathroom with your grunts and moans. One of his hands snaked up to yank the front of your dress open and pull out your tits, pinching and pulling at your nipples until you were mewling for him.

You slammed your palm against the mirror when he curled over you and started biting at your neck, not even able to care that he was leaving marks all over you since you were so lost in your pleasure. The hand that was digging into your hip slid between your legs and you had to bite your cheek to keep from screaming, rolling your ass to meet his vicious thrusts while he started circling your clit harshly with the tips of his fingers.

“That’s right, come all over my cock like the fucking whore you are.” His breath was hot on your neck as he kept fucking you like an animal, and you avoided looking in the mirror as if not seeing his face would mean this wasn’t happening. “God, you’re so fucking tight. He ever make you come like this?”

“Shut up.” Your body vibrated around him when he bent his knees and slammed his cock over your g-spot, your legs almost giving out as pleasure roared through your veins and you fought the urge to scream at him. The last thing you wanted was for him to bring up Andy right now.

“He doesn’t, does he? Because he doesn’t treat you like the filthy fucking bitch you are.” He pulled you upright so he could sneer at you in the mirror, your wild eyes meeting his and widening as you took in your completely wrecked state, your makeup smeared and bruises all over your neck while you arched your bare breast into his hand. “But I know, and if I have to fuck you like a dirty slut to get you to quit being a fucking cunt, I’m gonna do it.”

“God, fuck you, Diskant.” You reached back and dug your nails into his neck, grinning wickedly when he hissed at you raising sharp red welts in his skin. “So fucking worried about me, when you’re the one who’s trailing after me like a kicked dog. That sweet little fiancée not keeping you satisfied?”

“Shut the fuck up.” He shoved three fingers in your mouth when you laughed at him, groaning into your hair when he felt you flutter around him again.

Drool started leaking down your chin as Paul pressed your tongue down and slid his fingers towards the back of your mouth, making you gag. You could feel his rhythm starting to grow frantic, the force of his thrusts crashing your hips into the edge of the sink until you were sure you were going to have bruises. He gripped your knee with his free hand and pushed it up until it was resting against the cool marble of the sink, opening you up so he could hit you even deeper and forcing you to brace both hands against the mirror to maintain your balance.

A thin whine escaped around his fingers when he ground into you at the perfect angle, your toes curling in your pumps as you spasmed violently and your release gushed out around him and soaked his thighs. Paul’s hips finally stopped moving when he shot his thick cum inside you, shoving himself as deep as possible as his cock twitched in his release and he buried his face in your neck to muffle his roar.

He surprised you by grabbing your hair at the roots and turning your head so he could smash his lips against yours, tangling his tongue with yours until you couldn’t breathe then growling when you shoved him off you.

“Don’t fucking touch me.” You hissed when he pulled your skirt down over your hips unceremoniously, turning to snarl at him as you shoved your tits back into your bra and started to do your dress back up. “You’re an asshole, you know that?”

“Jesus Christ, fuck off.” He tucked himself back into his slacks and redid his fly as he watched you try to straighten yourself out, a massive undertaking with how fucked out you looked. “Next time I’m gonna fuck that bitch mouth so I don’t have to listen to that fucking voice.”

“There’s no next time.” You turned back around and grabbed some paper towels to clean the mess you two had made between your thighs. “There shouldn’t have been a this time, fuck.” You splashed some water on your face and wiped off your smeared makeup before grabbing a scarf and winding it around your neck to cover the marks he’d left on you. “I’m not doing this again.”

“You’re a fucking liar.” He wrapped his hand around your arm and pulled you into his chest, ignoring your growl as he scraped his teeth over the curve of your cheek. “You want this, you fucking need it. Otherwise you would’ve locked the door when you saw me coming.”

Your full armed slap caught him off guard, sending him staggering across the floor as you gave a satisfied sneer. He stared daggers at you when you strode past him to collect your purse, grumbling wordlessly as you prowled towards the door without sparing a glance for him.

“Wait five minutes before following me, bastard.”

“I’ll see you next time you fucking bitch.” He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand before leaning against the wall and waiting for some time to pass so he wouldn’t arouse suspicion. “Hope you have a good time at lunch with Barber while my cum’s leaking down your thighs.”

You glared at him over your shoulder before heading back out to the hall, trying to hold back tears when you saw Andy waiting for you outside of his courtroom. Somehow you managed to return the smile he was giving you, hating yourself when you let him press his lips to your forehead softly before he was guiding you out of the courthouse and asking where you wanted to go for lunch. You pointedly ignored Paul walking out of the bathroom, his icy stare following after you as he rubbed his hand over the scratches you’d left on his neck.

“What the fuck happened to you?” Shit, Ludlow must have waited for him. “You look like you got in a fight with a wildcat.”

“Nothing happened, I’m just sick of that fucking cunt.” He relaxed when the man just snorted in agreement, tuning out his ranting as he thought about what it would be like to fuck your throat until you couldn’t talk anymore.

[cloudninetonine]

My brain isn't working write and I do not know if I accidentally sent in an ask that was unfinished or if I deleted it. If you see a stupid thing in your inbox of list of the chain with numbers next to it, leave me be, I was trying to figure out how many rupees each member of the Chain could fit in their wallet.

Now then! You said I could send in poetry. Enjoy this long bullshit attempt.

Black and yellow, the darkness and the street lights, I know better than to walk at night with headphones but the night sends shivers down my spine.

Black and Black, I feel my skin writhe, stepping over a concrete crack, something sending bugs up my back, I shudder to see no colors under a street lamp.

Black and brown. my feet hit the softer ground, I can hear it in my mind, I should know it's sound. dashing through the trees and the bark will marr my skin when I can finally lay down.

Black and white, a phone background with help in my minds sight. A distracted brain focused on words and lost its freeze and fight.

Black and red. My eyes meet its and I swear I am be dead, along by it's side, a shape buried in my head. Till the ground beneath me begins to sink, I call for help, it seems to like my shriek.

Wood and white, didn't always think my dorm room was such a pretty sight. Opened my eyes and felt I drank too much last night.

Wood and swords. Hung on the wall. Missed a few chords and I fall.

My feet painfully follow, I bite my tongue against more wood and I painfully swallow.

More people. There are more than normal and I pull back in defense, grabbed a weapon, though I knew not how to use it in this stance.

I might not win but I can go down fighting like the rabid animal they treat me as. I will rip out his tongue and leave the floor a brighter shade then the red dress the highlighted fuckwad has.

They spout words of delusions, I can hear them now, claiming this village to be Hateno. A legend, a story of a land that never was, why would they say that after causing all this fuss?

Perhaps this was a fair ground, I had run a bit too far, although I'm quite confident I didn't make it to my car.

A weapon wasn't good enough to protect from mental danger, a fairy runs right through my hair and slips into my fingers. It feels real, it lives and breathes, a dream was all that this could be.

One more step I tell myself and march on out the door. I wouldn't fall or even crack as they stood watching from afar.

The air feels alive, it bites back when you take a breath, perhaps that's magic in the air and I just don't know it yet.

Mountains in the distance had dragons tear them apart, but it doesn't match the birds and lizards that have a mechanical heart.

The world makes me feel whimsical, lost though as I be, perhaps through pure exposure, this land will feel like me.

Anyway! Don't know how i feel about this. But please enjoy!

-Fruit Anon

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

FUCKING LOOK AT THIS FUCKING MASTERPIECE, MY HEART IS DOING JUMPING JACKS, TRAPEZE EVEN! THIS IS SO BEAUTIFULLY MADE FRUIT THANK YOU SO MUCH!

ALSO

"a brighter shade then the red dress the highlighted fuckwad has" WHY DID I SCREAM! I LITERALLY WOKE MY DOG UP! WHY IS THIS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING LINE EVER. LEGEND GET FUCKED!

No I'm actually gonna cry, you guys are so nice to me, all I did was make a fanfic from a comic I liked and now you're all gifting me with these, please, I send the sunniest of days upon your home, make you fridges always be stocked, may every animal you wish to pet loves you, every street you cross may it have no cars, maybe every shop have your favourite food stocked-

I love you all.

[platonicteenwolf]

Second Chance At First Line

(S1E2) Part II

Teen Wolf x Reader Series Rewrite

A/N: I am absolutely KILLING IT with these updates. Expect a lot more coming up. Also I don't think I'm going to continue making three separate parts for pronouns whenever a part doesn't use any pronouns for the reader.

Any Pronouns

Next Part / Masterlist

Warnings: mentions of a dead body

“What do you mean you can’t play the game tomorrow night?” Coach asks as Scott follows him into his office.

“I mean I can’t play the game tomorrow night.”

“You mean you can’t wait to play the game tomorrow night?”

“No, I can’t play the game tomorrow night.”

“I’m not following.”

Scott sighs looking around the office. “I’m-- having some personal issues.”

“Like what? Is it a girl?”

“No.”

“Is it a guy? You know our goalie Danny is gay.”

“Yeah, I know, Coach. But that’s not it.”

“You don’t think Danny’s a good-looking guy?” Coach cuts off, looking shocked.

Exasperated, Scott tries to continue; “No, Danny’s good looking. But I like girls. And that’s not it anyway--”

“Is it drugs? Are you doing meth? My brother was hooked on meth. You should have seen what it did to his teeth, all rotted and cracked. It was disgusting. He was a mess.”

Genuinely concerned, Scott asks, “What happened to him?”

“He got veneers. They look perfect now. Is, is that what this is about? Are you afraid of getting hurt McCall?”

“No. I’m just having some issues dealing with... aggression.”

“Well, here’s the good news, that’s exactly why you play lacrosse. Problem solved.”

“Coach. I can’t play the game.”

“Listen, McCall. Part of playing first line is taking on the responsibility of being the first line in the game. If you can’t shoulder that responsibility then you’re back on the bench until you’re ready.”

“If I don’t play the game, you’re taking me off first line?”

"McCall,” Coach says pointedly, “Play the game.”

-----

Stepping back into the corridor and into the rush of students, Scott jumps when his phone RINGS in his pocket. He takes it out to read a text message from his Mom:

Got the night off! Coming to see you play! So excited!!

Scott breathes a sigh of frustration. His phone BUZZES again with a second text from his Mom:

What does LMFAO mean?

He’s about to type back when he notices someone coming down the corridor to find him; Allison Argent. As she walks through the crowd, every teenage male eye seeming to follow her. But her perfect smile is reserved for Scott.

Nodding to his phone Allison asks, “Hey, you busy?”

“No. It’s just my Mom. She’s nothing. I mean it’s nothing. I’m never busy. For you.”

“I like the sound of that... I have to run to French class but I wanted you to know I’m coming to see you play tomorrow.”

“You are?”

“And we’re all going out afterwards. You, me, Lydia, Jackson. It’s going to be great. And bring Stiles too. Save me a seat at lunch, I’ve gotta go.”

Scott barely has a chance to nod as she hurries off. But just before she disappears into the rush of students, she smiles at him again. With a quick wave, she’s gone.

Scott slumps against the lockers muttering to himself, “I am so screwed.”

-----

Down the adjacent hall, Allison stops at her locker, quickly spins the combo, grabs her French book and suddenly stops when she notices something strange inside. Slowly, she pulls an item out, one that shouldn’t be there... her jacket from the party.

As she eases the locker shut, she notices how very alone she is in the corridor. She gazes down one end of the hall and then the other. Not a soul. Not a sound. Until--

The second bell rings, startling her. Breathing a short laugh at herself, she hurries off to class.

-----

At the chalkboard with other students solving algebra problems, Lydia whispers to Scott.

“Why is there a rumor going around that you’re not playing tomorrow?”

“Because I’m sort of... not.”

“I think you sort of are. Especially when you brutally injure my boyfriend by ramming into him.”

“He brutally injured himself ramming into me.”

The math teacher steps past, eyeing their work on the board.

“Jackson’s going to play Saturday, but he’s not going to be at peak. I prefer my boyfriend at peak performance.”

“Okay...” Scott responds, wondering if she’s still talking about lacrosse.

“See, I date the captain of a winning lacrosse team. If they start off the season losing, I date the captain of a losing lacrosse team. I don’t date losers. You understand how that works?”

“Losing one game isn’t going to kill anyone. In fact, it might save someone,” he argues back.

Lydia looks at him. Doesn’t get it. Doesn’t care. “Fine. Don’t play. We’ll probably win anyway. We’ll go out after like we’re planning. I’ll introduce Allison to all the other hot players on the team. And while she gets the attention she deserves, Scott McCall can stay home surfing the net for porn. "

She finishes her math problem, wipes the chalk off her hands and saunters back to her desk. Scott returns his attention to his own equation on the board.

The math teacher walks up behind him chastising, “Mr. McCall, you’re not even close to solving your problem.”

“Tell me about it,” Scott quips back.

-----

As Stiles and I turn the corner to the hall our next class is located, I see someone familiar talking to the vice principle.

“Wait-- is that Noah?” Grabbing the back of Stiles’s collar I drag him back behind the wall to hide us from view. Peeking around the corner, there Sheriff Stilinski standing in the middle of the hall having a seemingly serious conversation to the vice principle.

“I can’t hear them, what are they saying?” Stiles whines.

“I don’t know I don’t have super hearing.”

And as if a lightbulb went off in his head, Stiles bolts off looking for someone who does in fact have super hearing as I continue to keep an eye on the targets.

Hearing stomping footsteps behind me I turn around seeing an out of breath Stiles, Scott in tow.

“Come here, come here, tell me what they’re saying,” I ask Scott as the boys follow my gaze down the hall. I can see Scott focus, attempting to tune in the voices.

“...animal attacks... just don’t want the kids out... 9:30pm... institute the curfew....”

With a look of annoyance Scott turns back towards us.

“A curfew. Because of the body.”

Great.

“Unbelievable!” Stiles starts to complains, “Seriously unbelievable. My Dad’s out looking for a rabid animal while the jerkoff who actually killed the girl is just hanging out doing whatever he wants.”

Interjecting, I add, “Well, we can’t exactly tell him what’s going on with Derek. He’d want to do something about it.”

“Well, I’m gonna do something about it.”

“Like what?” Scott asks.

“Like find the other half of the body.”

And with that Stiles walks to his next class. Waving a bye to Scott I go catch up to him.

-----

Scott stops when he spots Allison shaking hands with an extremely good-looking lacrosse player. Lydia wears a big smile while introducing them while staring right at Scott.

Allison turns to see him approaching as Lydia and the lacrosse player slip away.

“So, Lydia’s introducing you to everyone?” Scott questions.

“Yeah, she’s been so unbelievably nice. Usually, the popular girls are totally evil when I move to a new place. But she’s making it really easy for me.”

“I wonder why.”

“Maybe she gets how much being the New Girl can suck.”

He’s about to reply when he notices with alarm that she’s carrying the jacket from party that Derek had.

"Where did you get that?”

“My jacket? It was in my locker. I think Lydia brought it back from the party. She has my combination--”

“Did she say she brought it back? Did someone give her the jacket?” Scott is starting to get more urgent; how did Derek get into her locker? Was he still here? Is Derek going to hurt Allison?

“Like who?"

“Like Derek."

“Your friend?”

“He’s not my friend. How much did you talk to him when he drove you home?”

“Not much at all.”

“What did you say?"

Allison can tell he’s getting more and more aggressive; cautiously she replies, "Sorry, but I have to get to my next class. Can we talk later?”

“Allison--”

“I really have to go.”

She hurries off, leaving Scott ruminating on the jacket. But then he turns, moving with focus, faster and faster--

-----

On his bike and pedaling at top speed, Scott charges down the road. Finally, he whips onto a driveway leading to the rundown Hale house.

“Derek!”

He lets his bike clatter to the ground, school bag with it. In a flash he’s on the porch, looking in each window.

“Derek!”

Still no response. Scott slips around the side of the house and to the back. Then something catches his attention-- At the edge of the woods, he sees FRESH DIRT covering the ground. As if something had been dug up. Or buried.

But before he can approach, a sound stops him in his tracks... a heartbeat. At first, it’s a tiny rhythm in the distance. But then it rapidly gets louder, stronger. Scott starts to back away, moving for the front of the house again and for his bike when Derek steps out of the woods. No sudden appearance, no theatrics. He just calmly walks out of the shadows while Scott tries to stand strong.

“Stay away from her. She doesn’t know anything.”

“What if she does?”

Derek keeps coming, backing Scott away from the house.

“You think your little buddy Stiles can Google werewolves and now you’ve got all the answers?”

Reaching down to Scott’s school bag, Derek picks up the lacrosse stick, playfully turning it over in his hands.

“You don’t get it yet, but I’m looking out for you. Think about what could happen. You’re on the

field. The aggression takes over. And you shift in front of everyone. Allison, your mother, your friends...”

Derek’s hand comes up and his claws are out. Scott flinches back, both in fear and surprise at his display of mastery over his abilities.

“And when they see you--”

He rakes his claws over the net.

“Everything, falls, apart.”

The slashed threads flutter away from the head of the lacrosse stick, the net now in tatters. Derek tosses the ruined stick. Scott catches it. When he looks up, he’s alone, Derek having vanished yet again.

-----

Bursting through the front door of the McCall’s home, Stiles sprints up the stairs towards Scott’s bedroom. Chuckling to myself I close the door behind me and head the same way. “Hey Ms. McCall!” I shout

“Hey sweetie!”

As Stiles bursts through Scott’s door and into his room I can already hear him shouting about the news. Scott called me with an update on the body, said there was some evidence at Derek’s and we needed to get over there as soon as we could.

I greet Scott with a wave as I follow Stiles into the room. At his desk, Scott works on something, concentrating on it with exact focus

“I found something at Derek Hale’s,” he starts

Still full of energy, Stiles shouts, “Are you kidding? What?”

“Something’s buried there. I smelled blood.”

Interjecting, I ask, "You think it’s from the body?”

“That’s what I need you guys to help me find out. And when we do, we’re going to help your dad nail Derek for the murder. And then we're figure out how I can play lacrosse without changing.”

Scott stands, revealing what he’s been working on so intently: his lacrosse stick. Now perfectly re-laced, he spins it in his hands with a look of pride.

“Because I’m not missing out on that game”

-----

The doors of Beacon Hills Hospital slide open. Stiles, Scott, and I casually walk past the front desk trying not to be conspicuous in front of waiting patients, nurses and orderlies. Stiles nods to a set of double doors and a sign pointing to the morgue; exactly what we need. While Scott and I quickly push through the doors, Stiles heads to the waiting area to keep an eye out.

As Scott and I step inside the almost pitch-black freezer room, he lights the display on his phone using it to search the labels on the drawer.

“Why’d you leave the lights off, this place is mega creepy!” I whisper to him. “Who decides to leave the lights off when they’re around a bunch of dead bodies?”

“Would you keep it down? You’re gonna get us caught!” Scott says as he finally located the body.

JANE DOE – partial. Police Evidence, Do Not Tamper.

We both take a breath as Scott yanks open the display.

-----

Standing outside in the corridor, Stiles looks to the waiting area and does a double take. Lydia Martin sits in one of the chairs. It’s a moment of opportunity he simply cannot pass up. Leaving his post, he tentatively approaches her.

“Hey, Lydia. You probably don’t remember me, but I sit behind you in Biology. And I know you’re dating Jackson and all that, but I always thought we had a kind of connection. Unspoken, of course. But I sort of think it would be cool to get to know you. Sort of.”

“Hold on. Give me a second.”

Stiles looks at her, quite confused. But then she pulls out a Bluetooth headset that was covered by her hair.

“I didn’t get any of what you just said. Is it worth repeating?”

“Uh... No. Sorry.”

As she gives an irritated sigh, Stiles takes a seat far away from her, head falling into his hand.

-----

Scott covers his mouth while gazing down at the lower half of the body. He slowly pulls the drawer open to where the sheet finally flattens out just above the severed hip. The smell coming from the body is absolutely putrid and I can tell his face is getting greener by the second.

“Don’t throw up on the body,” I joke.

Removing his hand from his mouth, Scott sends me a lighthearted glare and then pulls the sheet up to reveal the decayed and rotted feet. Then, unable to stand anymore, the sight or the smell, he covers up the body and slides the drawer shut. We’ve found all we need.

-----

Back in the waiting room, Jackson comes around the corner to find Lydia. He walks up to her while massaging his shoulder.

“Did he do it?”

Nodding, Jackson replies, “He said it’s not a good habit to get into but one cortisone shot won’t kill me.”

“You should get one right before the game too.” He gives her a concerned look. “What? The pros do it all the time. You want to be a little high school amateur?” Teasingly, she continues, “Or do you want to go pro?”

She pulls him into a kiss that’s all tongue. As they walk off, Stiles watches with a jealous gaze from behind the pages of a hospital pamphlet.

-----

Walking back to the waiting room with Scott, I see Stiles holding up a pamphlet titled: All About Your Menstrual Cycle. Inconspicuous. Scott yanks it out of his hands, surprising him.

“The scent was the same.”

“You’re sure?”

Scott nods and starts off with the two of us following.

“So he did bury the other half of the body on his property,” Stiles confirms.

“Which means we have proof he killed the girl.”

“Then I say we use it.”

After watching the boys go back and forth I interject,

“Scott, are you doing this because you want to stop Derek? Or because you want to play the game Saturday and he said you couldn’t?”

“There were bite marks on the legs. Bite marks. And if he knows about Allison now...”

“Okay. Then we’re going to need a shovel.”

We slam through the exit door and out into the night.

-----

Derek’s black Dodge Challenger roars out from the long driveway leading to the dilapidated house. In its wake, Stile’s Jeep slowly pulls forward.

Now carrying a shovel and pick, Scott and Stiles head for the house while I hold the flashlight. But Scott pauses, glancing around.

“Something’s different,” Scott says while glancing around.

“Different how?”

But Scott shakes his head. He looks back to the road, listening for any sounds.

“Let’s get this over with.”

Unnerved now as well, Stiles and I follow him around the house to the edge of the woods. Waving him over, Scott kicks at the dirt on the ground. It’s loose, gravelly. They start digging. Piles of dirt landing on the grass nearby while I keep watch. They work fast, Scott pulling up his sleeves as sweat starts to drip down his forehead while the two start bickering.

“This is taking too long,” Scott complains.

“Just keep going,” Stiles replies.

“What if he comes back?”

“Then we get the hell out of here."

“What if he catches us?”

“I have a plan for that.”

Now sitting down next to the hole they’ve dug, I interlude,

“Ah yes, Stiles Stilinski with the genius plans.”

“Oh shut up Y/N”

“Well, what’s the plan then,”

“I run one way, you both run another. Whoever he catches first? Too bad.”

Scoffing, Scott says, “I hate that plan.’

They dig faster, harder. Muscles burning, Scott keeps throwing nervous glances to the driveway.

“Stop, stop, stop!” Stiles shouts.

Dropping the shovel, Stiles clambers down into the hole. He feels around and finds a dark FABRIC in the dirt. Both of them now digging with their hands they finally uncover a black drawstring bag tied in tight knots. Stiles digs at the knot with his fingers.

“Hurry,” Scott urges.

“I’m trying. Did he have to tie the thing in nine hundred knots?"

“I’ll do it.”

Both of them claw at the drawstring, almost frantically trying to get the knot to come undone. And then finally it loosens. The black bag flutters open to reveal the body inside--

Except it’s not a dead girl. It’s the body of a wolf. Stiles and Scott both holler, jumping back.

Poking the carcass with a stick, Stiles asks, “What the hell is that?”

“It’s a wolf.”

“I can see that. I thought you said you smelled blood? As in human blood?”

“I told you something was different.”

Scott pulls back the edge of the bag to get a better look. The remains of the wolf peer through, a tangle of legs and blood-crusted fur.

“This doesn’t make sense.”

Still looking around nervously, Scott urges, “We gotta get out of here.”

While the boys talked, I had gotten up to look around the area. Suddenly I notice a purple flower in the ground. It sticks out of the dirt as if it had only recently been planted there.

“Wait,” I call to them.

Looking up, Stiles sees what I’m looking at.

“Do you see that flower?”

“What about it,” Scott wonders.

“I think it’s wolfsbane.”

“Wolfsbane?”

I look back towards the duo as Scott has a confused look on his face.

“Haven’t you ever seen The Wolf Man? Lon Chaney Jr.? Claude Rains? The original classic werewolf movie?” Stiles questions as Scott shakes his head. “You are so unprepared for this.”

"Aconitum napellus, or Wolfsbane, is a common known weapon against werewolves. It's toxins can cause your heartrate to slow to a fatal amount," I explain.

Kneeling next to the flower, I gently feel around the stem. Pulling it up, it’s revealed that the flower has sprouted out of what appears to be a very thin but strong twine interlaced from its stem and root.

Jumping out of the hole, Scott and Stiles take several cautious steps back as I continue unearthing the purple-flowered rope. Soil falling around my shoes, I walks in circles around the grave.

As I continue, the Wolfsbane rope leads back to the grave in an almost perfect spiral. Finally, at about ten yards out, I finally reach the end of the rope. With a pile gathered into my arms, I turn back to the boys who are staring back at the grave.

At barely a whisper, Scott says, “Look...”

The rope slips out of my hands, falling at my feet as my eyes widen. The wolf is no longer a wolf. It’s the upper half of the girl.

-----

Tag List: @linkpk88 @mochminnie @im-a-stranger-thing @that-winged-rat @avengersgirl1221 @everybirdfellsilent

[teshamerkel]

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Seekers of Soul

Chapter 17 (22 Pages)

<< First | < Previous | Next >

Nia and Tobias track down their first outlaw!

TW: Blood/Injuries

-

“What’s up with you today?”

Nia jumps, looking over at Tobias in surprise. “W-What?”

The charmander huffs out an irritated puff of smoke, focusing his gaze on the scenery of the dungeon they’re in. “You’re all mopey. Have been since last night.”

“Oh.” Nia hops over a small rivulet of water, weighing whether she wants to tell the truth or not. It’ll probably just make him mad, considering who she’s worked up about, but she doesn’t wanna lie to him either. “I uh. I think I upset Xander yesterday.”

As expected, the charmander rolls his eyes. “That‘s reason to celebrate, not mope.”

“Tobias,” Nia warns. “You’re being a jerk again.”

Tobias grumbles something under his breath, but then says, “Fine. Whatcha do?”

Nia fiddles with the branch she’d picked out for her weapon today, spinning it in her fingers with clumsy movements. “That’s just it. I’m not really sure? M-My aura reading came up in conversation so I was just telling everyone how their aura looks, and when I told Xander he got all...quiet. Avery had to take him out of the room.”

“Did he even want his aura read?”

“Of course!” Nia says, giving Tobias a frown. “I wouldn’t have done it if he hadn’t asked.”

Tobias doesn’t answer, and as the two of them walk, eyeing the walls and clefts of the rocky terrain for hidden ferals, Nia assumes he won’t. Then, he mumbles, “Maybe he didn’t like what you found.”

Nia’s ears flick back. That’s more or less the conclusion she’d come to as well. But all she’d told him was that his aura was red. Emotional, passionate. Why would that bother him so much? Sure, he always seems so calm and collected and with such an emotional aura he must have to work hard for that image, but it can’t just be that. She knows Tobias won’t know any better than she will, so for now she just sighs and moves on.

If she were in a better mood, Nia bets she’d really be enjoying the dungeon they’re in today. Apparently the mystery dungeon popped up in a small rocky riverbed, a bit scarce in terms of foliage, because the mystery dungeon itself has grown into a canyon-like labyrinth. Rocky brown stone, sunbaked and pale, and small streams of water flowing through the dungeon’s halls and rooms. Nia’s paws feel a bit rough from the scratchy, hot rock underfoot, but occasionally she steps into a shallow stream to cool down. 

More than once she thinks she sees something move above her in the streams’ reflection, just a brief flicker of movement, but every time Nia looks up, the canyon walls are empty. She’s probably just paranoid about the outlaw. Hopefully. There aren’t any other signs they’re being watched, so she must be imagining it.

As for Tobias, he seems torn, probably enjoying the heated rocks and warm day but clearly hating the water he has to jump over and climb around. Still, this is the first dungeon they’ve been to since their reconciliation a few days ago, and despite the tension in his body he’s doing a good job of keeping things civil.

“So you said we’re capturing an outlaw? Uh, how exactly does that work?” Nia asks, trying not to sound as nervous as she feels.

Tobias jumps and heaves himself up onto a large rock blocking the narrow path, claws scrabbling, before turning to answer. “Criminals like to hide in mystery dungeons to avoid getting caught. So we have to track this guy down, knock him out, and take him back to the guild.”

Nia, branch tucked into the strap of their exploration bag and busy trying to haul herself up the stone, asks, “W-Wait, so he’s not feral?”

“Nope. Just an idiot who robbed a seed patch nearby.”

Nia slips with a yelp and slides back to the ground. She shakes out her stinging claws and glares up at the rock. “Dang it!”

Tobias snorts a laugh, looking down at her. “Am I gonna be called a jerk again if I decide to just sit and watch you struggle? Because it’s pretty entertaining.”

Nia groans. “I can’t help that I’m not built for climbing! I’m a dog for God’s sake.”

“What in Entei’s name is a dog?”

“If you help me up, I’ll tell you!”

Tobias rolls his eyes but dutifully stretches out on his belly, reaching his arms down. Nia backs up and takes a running leap at the stone. She hits the hard surface, and before her dull claws let her slide back down, Tobias grabs her wrists, yanking her up. Nia pulls herself over the top, plopping down to catch her breath.

“Ugh, I hate climbing!”

“Good, ‘cause you suck at it.”

Nia shoots the charmander a playful glare. “Hey, I used to be great at climbing trees when I was human! At least I can still swim.”

Tobias looks downright offended. “I’m a fire type!”

“And I have a dog body. We’re even.” Nia sits up, rights their satchel and retrieves her branch, then follows Tobias’ grumbling as he slips down the other side of the boulder and back onto solid ground.

They continue down the path (What floor are they on now? Fourth?), and after a few moments Tobias speaks up again.

“So?”

“Uh. S-So what?”

“What’s a dog?”

Nia blinks. “Oh! You actually wanna know?”

“Not really,” Tobias growls, “But these stairs are impossible to find and the ferals are hiding from the outlaw, so you might as well tell me. I’m getting bored.”

Nia hides a smile and looks up to the sliver of blue sky she can see between rocky canyon walls. How does she even explain something like this?

“Well...in my world, there are humans, and plants, but there are also things called animals. I would say that Pokémon are...mostly like humans? You’re smart. You can talk and you have a society and stuff. But most Pokemon look more like animals. Fluffy, or scaly, or resembling certain body types. Like...you look like a lizard, kind of. And I kind of look like a dog.“

“A...lizard?”

Nia nods, encouraged by his thinly veiled curiosity. “Yeah! Um, there are different kinds, but they all have a similar shape and stuff. Four legs, low to the ground, long tail, scaly. Um...you’re kind of like a two-legged version? Lizards definitely can’t breathe fire, though.”

“So I’m like a lizard but a lot cooler,” Tobias surmises.

Nia laughs, loud and caught off-guard. “Pretty much, yeah. Animals aren’t, uh, seen the same as humans, though. They aren’t...lesser, really? But they’re...different. They think differently. More simply, I guess. Lots of humans keep certain kinds of animals as pets.”

“‘Pets?’” Tobias echoes.

“Yeah! Like partners, kind of. Y’know, in their homes. They take care of them, and in return they get to watch them grow and bond with ‘em. They become companions, even if they might not think of us the same way.”

Tobias doesn’t answer for a few moments, carefully skirting around a puddle. “So the, uh...the animals don’t get a say in the matter?”

“Oh.” Nia stops, brow furrowing. “I mean...I guess not? But it’s almost like potting a plant in your house. As long as the animal’s happy and its needs are being met, it doesn’t really matter? Most house pets don’t really have a concept of like...captivity? I don’t think so, at least. I guess some smarter ones do, like monkeys.”

Tobias shoots her a look that’s surprisingly uneasy. “That still sounds unfair.”

Nia sighs. “It’s hard to explain when you don’t really have a concept for animals. Like, maybe dogs would’ve been a better example. They’re pack animals to start with, so when we take care of them they become part of our family, and they see us as their pack. They’re really happy with humans. It’s harder to tell with things like lizards or snakes or something, but dogs and cats definitely bond with humans like their own species.”

Tobias frowns, but not in the way that says he wishes Nia would shut up. This one looks more thoughtful. Nia doesn’t mind this frown as much. Eventually, he seems to settle on, “Humans are weird.”

“I mean, you’re not wrong. But the Pokémon world is still ten times weirder.”

Tobias snorts. “Hardly.”

“You have sentient trash bags, Tobias! And creatures that can use psychic powers! That’s not normal!”

Tobias cracks a grin. “Wait until you see a cryogonal or Mr. Mime for the first time. Now those are weird.”

Nia stares at him, surprised by the teasing and almost friendly tone of his voice. “Did you just say a ‘Mr. Mime’? As in that’s what an entire species is called?”

“You’ll know one when you see one.”

From there, the conversation dies off into a strangely comfortable silence as the two of them continue through the dungeon. Nia had almost forgotten where they were with how casually they were talking. The ferals of the dungeon still seem to be hiding from the outlaw (and that doesn’t make Nia nervous at all), but occasionally they hear one scrabbling along the stone just out of sight or growling in the distance.

They climb to the next floor, and then the next, and even there the ferals are still and silent.

“A-Are you sure we can handle this outlaw?” Nia whispers 

Tobias rolls his eyes. “The mission was on the E-rank board for a reason. We’ll be fine.”

Nia nods, not any more assured than before. “H-How will we even know what they look like?”

“The mission said it was a panpour, idiot—" Nia shoots him a frown, and he softens his harsh tone. “Uh. Blue water type. Can stand on two feet? Long tail and big ears. Fuzzy. Plus, they won’t be feral.”

“R-Right.”

From there, the tension in Nia’s body only grows. It’s one thing to fight ferals that are clearly out for her blood, Pokemon that feel more like rabid animals than people, but fighting an outlaw...

The two of them round another corner, and before either can react, a huge spray of water slams into Tobias. The charmander is thrown back with an uncharacteristic cry of pain, into Nia, and the two of them tumble to the ground in a heap.

Nia’s first to stagger back to her feet, shaking her wet fur and looking up to find what must be the outlaw darting into the narrow canyon hallway where they are. He looks like a blue...monkey? Slightly smaller than her and Tobias, but fast. Maybe the most startling thing is how coherent the monkey looks, eyes flashing not with a mindless aggression but with an expression of intentional malice.

“You two are Seekers? You’ve gotta be kidding me—I heard you from across the map!”

The monkey braces himself and rears back, cheeks puffing. Nia barely realizes what he’s doing in time to jump between the next spray of water and Tobias’ shaky form. The water slams into her like a fire hose, and she grits her teeth and tries to stay on her feet as she slides back. She never knew water could sting so badly!

The attack stops, and Nia looks back to the monkey with wide eyes, panting. Except he’s gone, leaping past and behind them again—

“Gotta move,” Tobias gasps out, finally getting his legs under him.

“What?”

Instead of answering, the charmander grabs Nia’s arm and runs for the room the monkey had come out of. They barely make it in before another jet of water is shot at them from behind. They fling themselves off to the sides, to the safety of the room’s walls, wild eyes meeting.

“We’re not trapped in such a tight space here,” Tobias explains, seeming like he’s finally caught his breath again. Nia’s still a little shaken by how a single water move hurt him so badly, but nods.

“N-Now what?”

“We beat him into the dirt!”

The monkey comes barreling into the room, skidding around with a grin. “Good luck with that, kiddos.”

Tobias lunges forward with a snarl, but Nia hesitates, watching as the monkey dodges the charmander’s slashing claws and tail whips with nimble ease. Tobias only spares a puff of small embers here and there to throw the outlaw off, focusing more on physical attacks.

The monkey shoves Tobias away from him, then claps his hands together. In an instant his body is glowing a bright blue (and in a moment of confused panic, Nia thinks he’s using aura). But then a cloud of shining blue water sprays out and around the room. The air feels damp and misty now. Tobias snarls, then goes back to madly swinging at the monkey, no longer using his flames.

The monkey dodges and weaves, takes a moment to time his shot, and then spits a strong jet of water straight into Tobias’ face. The charmander makes a pained sound and stumbles back.

Then the monkey turns to Nia, smirking. “So what’s with you, pup? Just letting your partner do all the work?”

Nia swallows hard and takes a step back, holding her branch in front of her like a sword. Her heart is roaring in her ears and her stomach feels knotted up. This feels different than fighting ferals, somehow. She still doesn’t know how to fight anyways, not really, not with just a few lessons, and it’s one thing to counter mindless ferals, another entirely to be able to hold her ground against someone like this! This is like...an actual person!

“Nia, snap out of it!” Tobias growls, lunging at the monkey again.

The charmander is clearly wearing down, but Nia can’t seem to unfreeze herself, staring at the fight in a panic. This is so different. This isn’t defending someone—or yourself—from a rabid animal, this is willingly going toe-to-toe with a criminal.

She can’t do this. Not on a physical level or an emotional one.

With a few more nimble dodges, the monkey is once again shoving the charmander away and blasting him with a water move. Tobias falls to the ground and doesn’t get back up.

The outlaw turns to Nia, looking thoroughly unimpressed. “I’m actually a little offended that the guild thought you two could bring me in. What is this, your first day?”

Nia doesn’t answer, gripping shaky fingers tighter around her pathetic weapon. Her eyes flick nervously from the outlaw to Tobias, and she knows he’s not dead or anything, his tail flame is still flickering, but seeing him so still in the dirt is making her chest tighten with fear. She doesn’t want to see anyone hurt, not even a criminal, but she’s already grown a bit fond of the sharp-tempered charmander and he can’t do this on his own so she has to fight—

The outlaw must be sick of waiting for her response, because the next thing she knows she’s being blasted into the wall by a painful jet of water. Her head bounces off the canyon wall, but she stays on her feet, shaking her head to get rid of the stars in her vision. As she does, she sees the monkey grin.

He’s enjoying this. Enjoying hurting them.

Fighting ferals is one thing—they don’t know what they’re doing, they aren’t actively, consciously trying to hurt people. And in a way, that’s easier. But this guy? This guy’s just a jerk who stole some items and is beating up two teenagers for fun, getting some kind of sick enjoyment out of it. Yes, he feels more like a person than the ferals, but doesn’t that just make it worse? That he’s doing bad things intentionally?

Suddenly, her fear feels a lot more like anger.

The monkey goes to attack again, almost lazily, and the riolu moves, pushing off the wall. She sprints for the monkey, taking him by surprise and swinging her branch around to slam into his stomach.

The monkey staggers back with a wheeze, and for a split-second Nia hesitates. He didn’t react how ferals do, didn’t just shake off the hit with an inhuman growl and a counterattack. He’d grabbed at his stomach, grumbled under his breath like a person, and something about hitting him so solidly, seeing the damage she did to him, it still throws her off even through her adrenaline rush.

And now the monkey’s angry, wiping at his mouth to glare at her. “Oh, so you were holding out on me, huh?”

He darts forward, and it’s all Nia can do to keep his claws and sharp teeth away from her body. She’s on defense now, smacking away attacking limbs with her branch and stepping steadily back, keeping her eyes focused on the monkey’s body and letting her peripheral vision react to the lightning-fast strikes like Val taught her. It’s terrifying and doesn’t even leave her time to think about what she’s doing, her body working fully on instinct.

It’s a little bit exhilarating, too.

But then the monkey’s hands change target, grabbing Nia’s branch and yanking it out of her hold before she can register what’s happening. In one swift movement, he snaps the branch in half and chucks the pieces over his shoulder. Then he lunges at her again, and she barely manages to catch the monkey’s hands in her own. Her head snaps up to meet his grin a heartbeat before he blasts her with another water attack. The move knocks her back and off her feet, and she rolls to the side to avoid a follow-up attack.

The monkey just keeps coming at her, and she’s scrambling back to avoid it, thoughts racing, about to block a hit to the face when something small blurs past her vision to hit the outlaw right on the forehead. He shouts, staggering back. Nia sees what looks like a little yellow seed tangled in his short fur, taking root on the skin of his forehead.

“Idiot.”

Nia jumps, turning to see Tobias padding over, worse for wear but still standing. Then she remembers what she’s doing and falls back into a defensive stance.

Except the monkey is staggering around in circles like a drunk man, falling this way and that in a desperate attempt to regain his balance, tail flailing. He’s frowning, blinking hard like he’s trying to concentrate.

“Totter seed,” Tobias explains, shooting Nia a wicked grin. “Dumb ‘mon left his stolen goods sitting over there in the corner.”

Nia’s mouth falls into a little “o” of surprise. “So he’s confused now, right?”

The outlaw grunts and shoots off a vicious jet of water that makes Nia and Tobias flinch even though he’s facing the wrong direction.

“Yup. Let’s finish this since you finally got yourself together. Why do you always wait until I’m beaten to a pulp before finally fighting back?”

Nia barks a laugh, beyond relieved to feel back in control of the situation. “Let’s call it a lesson in ego.”

Tobias snorts and moves to attack. Nia, not wanting to get in his way, positions herself on the other side of the outlaw, so the monkey is left staggering between the two of them. Without his wits about him, the outlaw’s speed is useless, and he flails weakly in the wrong direction as Tobias slams the smaller Pokémon with his tail and sends him towards Nia.

She takes the opportunity, uneasy about using her own fists instead of a weapon. But no, Val’s been teaching her how to punch and kick, so she needs to try to use that knowledge. She goes with a set of punches before shoving the monkey back Tobias’ way. The feeling of hitting solid warmth--fur and muscle and bone--with her own two hands is unnerving, but she tries her best to ignore it as they bat the outlaw back and forth. It’s like the world’s weirdest and most violent game of monkey in the middle, with a literal monkey as the ball. Nia almost laughs aloud at the thought.

Of course, the outlaw chooses that exact moment to blink out of his confusion, used seed falling to the dirt. The monkey bares his teeth, beaten and bloody and livid, then turns and grabs Tobias, swinging the charmander around and flinging him into Nia. The two fall with a pained yelp into a tangle of limbs.

The outlaw is breathing hard, clearly hurting but not willing to give up the fight. As Nia and Tobias rise back to their feet, side-by-side, the riolu takes a moment to appreciate the feeling of the charmander at her side in the heat of battle. For maybe the first time, she thinks she understands what it means to really feel like a team, to have a real partner.

Then the outlaw dashes forward, and the two of them move at once, bumping into each other—her arm jabs his side, he steps on her foot—and in the confusion the monkey bowls into them both. Sharp, blinding pain shoots through Nia’s right bicep, and she cries out, kicking at the outlaw whose jaws are locked around her arm in a vice grip. She rolls, claws, even tries to manifest her aura, but he just sinks his fangs in deeper. She feels blood gush out, hot and slick.

God, it hurts.

Then, there’s something else tugging at the monkey, and she squeezes her eyes open to see Tobias with his arms around the outlaw’s middle, his own teeth latched around the monkey’s shoulder and tugging hard.

Finally, the monkey is ripped free, and Tobias throws him away. Nia presses a hand to her injury, but keeps her eyes squinted open to watch eye the outlaw. The monkey manages to land on his feet, then tries to leap forward again. Nia braces herself.

“Back off!” Tobias snarls.

And then all she sees are blinding purple flames, beautiful and hot even from a few feet away, engulfing the monkey with a flare of light. Nia watches, breathless, as the ball of flames lands hard, smolders, then slowly putters out. The outlaw’s body is left charred and black in the dirt, and Nia only breathes out when she sees the faint rise and fall of the monkey’s back. For a moment there, she’d thought Tobias had killed him.

“You okay?”

Nia jumps, then looks over to Tobias, crouched down at her side and frowning. His expression is odd, somehow. Pinched.

“W-What was that?” She asks, awed voice raspy. It takes her a moment to realize that she must’ve been screaming when the outlaw was biting her, because her throat feels a bit raw.

Tobias blinks. “The fire? I, uh. I think I might have learned dragon rage?”

Nia’s eyes widen. “Dragon rage? That’s sounds awesome!”

Tobias’ expression finally breaks into something lighter, amused. “It is awesome. Now stop stalling, show me your arm.”

Nia hadn’t been meaning to stall, but now she wonders if she even wants to see what the monkey’s sharp teeth did to her. With a hiss, she slowly removes her hand, now sticky with blood. She can feel her heartbeat pulsing at the wound.

Tobias sucks in air between his teeth.

“T-That bad?” She asks, voice wobbly.

“‘S not pretty,” he admits. “Here, hang on...”

Nia watches as Tobias leans close and rummages through the satchel still hanging around her shoulder. He pulls out an oran berry, frowning.

“I thought we had two?”

“W-We did.” Nia had packed them herself.

Tobias looks around, then groans, slumping. Nia follows his gaze, recognizing a smear of smashed blue pulp in the dirt. Great. Must’ve fallen out and gotten stepped on in the scuffle.

“Well, at least eat one,” Tobias says, lifting the berry up to her mouth.

Nia leans back. “But you’re all banged up too, and—“

The charmander rolls his eyes, but there’s less venom in the gesture than usual. Maybe it’s the exhaustion weighing on them both, but Nia would almost say he looks concerned. “My skin’s stinging and I’m exhausted, but I’m not bleeding out through my arm. Eat it.”

Nia hesitates, but takes the berry, chewing it up and letting the sweet tang burst over her tongue. As soon as she swallows, she already feels a bit better. Tobias scoots closer, reaching up to hold her arm with one hand and feeling around the bite with the other, intensely focused. He’s gentler than Nia thought he’d be, but she still winces at the pain.

“The worst of the wound is closing up, but we should probably still staunch the bleeding,” he murmurs, almost to himself.

“W-Would my scarf work?” Nia asks.

“Hm? Oh, yeah. Is it in the bag?”

Nia nods, and Tobias rummages through the satchel again with his now-bloodied hands, finally bringing out the red scarf that the riolu has had for weeks. She actually wants to wear it now to symbolize their newly remade team, but she’s still not sure where to wear it. The collar of fur around her neck is just so darn fluffy!

Tobias tugs at the material as if to test its strength, and then nods, satisfied. He scooches around Nia again to get a better look at her wound.

“Don’t move,” he says.

Nia hums an affirmative, closing her eyes and trying not to think about the blood she can feel all over her arm, tacky as it starts to dry. The charmander carefully arranges the scarf around her bite, circling the material twice, before pulling it tight.

Nia flinches and almost tugs her arm away. “Ow!”

“Sorry,” Tobias grumbles, still focused on his work. “Hold still.”

Nia tries to, sniffing back pained tears as the charmander ties the scarf into a knot. When he’s done, he leans back. “How’s that?”

Nia looks at the patch job, a little amused and a little nauseous seeing the bright red scarf against the darker crimson blood staining her arm. That’s gonna be a pain to get out of her fur. She gingerly moves her arm back to her side, slowly bending it to a lax position. It definitely still stings and the muscles are probably bruised, but...

“Much better,” she says, meeting Tobias’ eyes with a shaky smile. “Thanks, doc!”

The charmander rolls his eyes, but his face flushes red and embarrassed as he pushes himself back to his feet. “C’mon, let’s get this loser back to the guild.”

Nia struggles to stand, a bit woozy, but nods. “Right.”

Tobias gathers up the stolen bag of seeds, finds their badges in their satchel, and pulls the charred monkey onto his back, lip curled in disgust.

“You really did a number on him,” Nia says quietly, impressed. “You said that move was...dragon rage? Did you just learn it?”

Tobias shrugs as well as he can with the outlaw on his back, looking uncomfortable. “I guess. That happens as your battling experience goes up and you get stronger. Definitely handy that I learned a dragon type move after that water sport he pulled.” He pauses in the middle of sending out a pick-up request via their badges to give Nia a look. “Speaking of—what’s up with you not using actual moves? I thought you would have adapted to fighting hand-to-hand by now.”

Nia sighs and glances at what remains of her makeshift weapon, lying discarded in the corner of the room. “I guess I really should stop depending on a weapon so much. Didn’t do me much good today.”

“No, not that,” Tobias waves her off. “I mean, yeah, that too, but even when you were punching, you weren’t using moves. You were just using basic body attacks. Why?”

Nia blinks at him. “Uh. What do you mean I wasn’t using moves?”

The charmander blinks back at her. “You…you didn’t know you weren’t?”

“I thought I was! I was punching a-and kicking and stuff! That’s what fighting types do, right?”

Tobias opens his mouth to explain, but then seems to reconsider and just heaves an exasperated groan. “We need to talk to Val tomorrow. Arceus, I thought you just weren’t using ‘em for some dumb personal reason, not because you didn’t know how to use them at all.”

Nia’s ears pin back. “I...I thought I was using them.”

“And I haven’t seen you two spar much since I’ve mostly been with Azami, so Val might not even know that you don’t know…” Tobias trails off, more to himself than to Nia. “We’re talking to her about this tomorrow. It’d help if you actually knew how to use your moves. And how to not freeze in battle until I’m half dead.”

His tone is harsh, but lacking the old bite it used to have. Nia still whines and buries her face in a hand, embarrassed. “I’m sorry! I promise it’s not on purpose. It just really caught me off guard, fighting a Pokémon that wasn’t feral.” Nia tries to latch onto something other than everything she’s apparently doing wrong. “A-At least we can tell Azami about your new move tomorrow too, right?”

Tobias nods, looking the faintest bit proud. “True.”

Their conversation is cut off as one of the retrieval psychics at the guild calls them back in a beam of light. Nia’s stomach flips, and when they land back on solid wood, the riolu collapses to her knees.

“You aren’t gonna pass out, are you?” Tobias asks, frowning at her.

Nia squeezes her eyes shut, fighting off a wave of nausea and lightheadedness. “N-No, I don’t think so. Just the blood loss, I’m pretty sure.”

There’s the quiet murmuring of voices, and the shifting of Tobias handing off the outlaw to the psychic type. Some more talking, and then the charmander’s light footsteps return to her side.

“Maggie’ll have some spare oran berries lying around if you can get back to the room.” Tobias says. He sounds a little awkward, like being any form of encouraging with his words is physically making him uncomfortable. Nia almost smiles.

“I...I think I’m fine.” The riolu blinks open her eyes, glancing around. The psychic type taking care of their case (not an abra, but an adorable, green jelly-like Pokémon who is shooting her worried looks) has the unconscious monkey chained up in psychic bindings, presumably to wait for law enforcement to take the outlaw away. At least, that’s what she guesses. She’s never done this before. Are there Pokémon police? Are they the police? She needs a badge. Wait, she has one of those.

“Okay, c’mon, before you pass out on the floor,” Tobias grumbles, hesitating before wrapping a warm arm around her back to help her to her feet. Nia stumbles, then slowly allows herself to put some of her weight onto Tobias. The charmander slings her uninjured arm around his shoulders, face flushed with embarrassment as he pointedly avoids her gaze. Then, the two start their arduous trek up the stairs to Maggie’s quarters.

Once or twice Nia considers thanking the charmander for helping her like this, but he’s already burning with embarrassment—quite literally, he feels hotter than normal—so she lets it be.

“Maggie’s gonna be so mad,” Nia mumbles when they’re nearly there.

Tobias has relaxed enough (or is maybe just exhausted enough) to snort a laugh. Nia can feel it rumble through his ribs, pressed against her side.

“She’s gonna be ticked at both of us,” He agrees. “I don’t know why she always throws such a fit when we get hurt. It’s part of the job.”

“Occupational hazard,” Nia agrees with a tired smile.

The two are silent the rest of the way, and sure enough, as soon as they step through the door, Maggie descends on them with all the worried wrath of a mother scolding her terrible, danger-prone children.

Nia relaxes and lets herself be babied. Her chest hurts just as much as her arm, something in her finding Maggie’s motherly worry familiar and comforting, in an aching, longing sort of way, so she lets the meganium fuss over her injuries. She’s feeling far too fond of the situation, really, as she watches Tobias stubbornly shooing Maggie away from his own wounds. It’s nice, to be cared about. To have somewhere safe to come home to.

[crystalkleure]

sorta late to the party, but eyo? new pokémon game?? i’ve been holding off on buying it to see if it‘s better than swsh, but it looks sickkkk! how’re you liking it so far?

IT'S FUCKING AWESOME

Holy SHIT it's SO GOOD!!! For once I don't regret dumping $60 on a game at all!!

It's gorgeous, the gameplay is Extremely Different from every single other Pokemon game, it's sort of like combining a Standard Mainline Pokemon Game with the Pokemon Ranger games? It's like all purely in the overworld, you can even continue running around during battles [and WILL eat shit if you stand in the way of attacks]. Stealthily Sneaking Up On Wild Murderbeasts And Capturing Them Before They See You And Eat You is the primary focus bc you're playing as like a researcher, your primary goal is to Complete Pokedex [a giant folder full of research notes lol it's all paper]. You CAN die. Death is Literally Everywhere in this fucking game, People And Pokemon Literally Dying is like a recurring plot issue, and they don't dance around it at all. The Death Word Is Not A Dirty Word In This Game.

And, and this next bit is why it is Extra Impressive that I STILL recommend this game so Incredibly Highly...

Most of the boss fights are 90% in the overworld. The rampaging Pokemon are attacking YOU. You have to evade them and wait for specific tiny openings to be able to throw your own Pokemon out and actually Engage Them In Pokemon Battle. In other words, Dodging Brutal Bloody Death By Rabid Beast is absolutely crucial. There is a button you gotta press to tuck-and-roll to jump out of the way of attacks, "dodging" makes you invulnerable for a few seconds so the Death can just slip right past you. This is totally fine and even awesome, except...

My dodge mechanic does not work. At all. It is completely broken.

I have been playing this game ENTIRELY WITHOUT AN INCREDIBLY INTEGRAL PART OF IT BEING FUNCTIONAL. I have had to do all this shit WITHOUT ACTUALLY DODGING. I'm just having to sprint out of the fucking way, even in HIGHLY MOVEMENT-RESTRICTED SMALL AREAS THAT LEAVE VERY LITTLE ROOM FOR NON-INVULNERABLE MANEUVERING, because when I press the dodge button, I am not granted that momentary untouchable status. I am still locked into the "dodging" animation for a second though, which, ironically, pretty much GUARANTEES I get hit. Dodging actually gets me killed almost invariably, that's the suicide button for me.

It actually took me a long time to realize there was even something wrong with my game, I just thought I sucked ass at it and Must Be Dodging Wrong Somehow because the very first boss gave me an unreasonable amount of extreme trouble lol, it was making me so sad. It turns out I've been digging a fucking hole in a solid rock wall with a kitchen spoon without realizing I was supposed to have a sledgehammer, and then wondering why everyone else seemed to have such an easier time digging THEIR holes. All thought while I was, however, in fact, successfully digging that fucking hole in the fucking rock with that fucking spoon lmfao.

I actually had to completely break the game in order to progress at one point, FINALLY realizing right at the end of this situation that Maybe My Game Is A Little Broken And Something Is Wrong Actually lol. Like this is what finally tipped me off that maybe I'm not playing this video game the intended way. It's a spoiler, so I'll put it under a cut.

The third boss, Arcanine, is apparently EXTREMELY not supposed to be beatable without dodging. The Impending Boss Battle Warning NPC right before the fight is even very, very clear about this, she straight-up tells you there are attacks that WILL kill you if you are not in your invulnerable state for the moment they are happening.

What happens is, there are a few phases of Arcanine's Attacking YOU Stage, before you can throw your mons at him:

First, he just charges around the stage at you, in straight lines, with pauses in between each rush. It's pretty easy to get out of the way of that by just sprinting, that was fine.

Second, he might jump up into the air and slam down in the middle of the stage, creating a giant shockwave that will hit you if you are anywhere near the center. Again, pretty easy to just get out of the way of that because there is a Warning Pause right before it happens, so you know it's coming. The stage is shaped like a +, so I could just bolt to the far edge of one of the four bars and the shockwave would not reach me.

Third...is his You Will Die If You Don't Interrupt It attack. He moves into the far side of one of the bars of the +, and starts charging up. You have to hit him with your throwable objects ["balms"] like 5 times to interrupt his charging and stun him, allowing you to then throw out your Pokemon and properly battle him. After you deplete his health in battle, he's stunned for several seconds while he regains his HP for the next round, so your throwables have a Massive Amount Of Effect on him.

There's a bar at the top of the screen that you need to deplete in order to win the fight during the Noble Pokemon boss battles, and what makes the bar go down is hitting the boss with your throwables. Outside of that "regaining health" vulnerability window post-proper-battle, the throwables only chip away at the bar just a tiny little bit, they have very little effect.

Now, the problem with Arcanine is that, after you've won a Proper Pokemon Battle against him twice, and thus have presumably gotten the bar at the top of the screen down to its final segment, Arcanine has a Final Berserker Phase of Attacking YOU. He puts a Wall Of Fire in the center of the +, greatly reducing your mobility by confining you to whichever of the four corners you are standing in. He's GOING TO be able to hit you with his rush attacks like this, you really gotta be able to either dodge properly or have enough health that you can tank the hits until he moves into his "Charging Ultimate Move" attack phase again.

And the thing about his final Charged-Up Uber Attack is that he will ALWAYS move to the exact opposite side of the cross from the side you are trapped in, the massive fire barrier will always be between you, so you can only BARELY reach him with perfectly-aimed throwables to interrupt it. Your aim has to be really perfect. Probably much easier to do if your Switch is plugged into a big TV [mine was not, I've been in handheld mode only].

I actually don't know what happens if you successfully interrupt the charged attack under those conditions, because I had a problem here and was never able to do it. I would find "the sweet spot" where ONE of my throwables would make contact -- and, mind you, the boss is not moving at all while he is charging up -- and then none of my other throwables would hit, even though I threw them at the same exact spot at the same exact power and was definitely hitting Arcanine with them? No matter what I did, only that first balm made contact, which meant I was never able to interrupt that last move, which meant it killed me when he unleashed it. Always. Invariably. Because my health was already tanked due to my limited mobility coupled with being unable to dodge from before; I had already taken too many hits by that point.

So, in order to beat this boss, I had to just...never let him get to that final phase. I had to end the battle BEFORE that last uninterruptable, undodgeable Uber Attack, because that last attack was certain death for me.

So what I ended up doing was just pinging the bastard with low-effect throwables throughout the WHOLE match. I had to spam that shit CONTINUOUSLY, WHILE sprinting around out of the way of rush attacks and shockwaves. I always had to be facing the boss and aiming well enough to hit that bitch with my projectiles a million fucking times, because I had to chip the meter at the top of the screen All The Way Down BEFORE the final charged attack in the final phase started.

And I succeeded! I got the meter all the way down. It was empty. I had depleted a HUGE AMOUNT of that meter with only low-effect balms, because I could only battle Arcanine with my Pokemon twice at maximum under these conditions. That Meter Was Fucking Empty.

And the battle did not end.

I did NOT win upon emptying the fucking meter, as I should have. You are supposed to Instantly Win as soon as that bar is blank. Apparently, the devs did not expect anyone to be able to do this fight the way that I did, so it appears that there was no exit condition to the battle assigned to "what if you win via low-effect balm spam before the final phase even starts" in the code. There was like no win protocol programmed in for that I guess.

But I DID win, obviously, I ended that battle and have now moved on to the next part of the game [I'm currently in Wayward Cave].

I won when I died.

I wasn't able to end the fight before that final charged attack happened, so, of course, I just watched Very Grumpily as Arcanine killed me with it. And then the "You are fucking dead" cutscene [whatever it is, I actually still haven't seen it bc I've just been resetting the game when I can tell I'm fucked bc I'm impatient] didn't play. The "You've won the match and calmed Arcanine" cutscene played. And the fucking story progressed and everything was fine. When I fucking died to that last attack. THAT'S WHAT ENDED THE MATCH. ME DYING.

I'm going to guess that what happened there, in the code, was that the game handles the "end of the match" protocol in such a way that it checks the state of the meter to determine WHY the battle ended. If the "match has ended" flag gets triggered, the game FIRST checks "Is the meter empty?" to determine whether the battle has ended because you've won or lost, and if the meter is empty upon the match ending, then it assumes you must have won, because of course depleting the meter is supposed to be an instant win. It does not determine whether you've won or lost based on YOUR health unless the meter is not empty; it checks the state of your health AFTER it checks the meter. It makes sense, because it's assuming that if you're taking damage, you're not depleting the meter, because you're PROBABLY not pinging throwables at the boss while trying to dodge its attacks against you, you're probably throwing shit at it while it's stunned, and CAN'T attack you. So the game apparently assumes that you can't really fully deplete the meter during a part of the match where you CAN take damage and die.

So, that was an Incredibly Harrowing Bugged-Out Boss Fight lmfao, and it's hilarious now that I think I understand what happened. I would actually do it again, that was fun. It was like Ultra Hard Challenge Mode, having to do that shit without being able to dodge OR stop that last attack. Had a fucking "How I used time travel to beat FNAF Security Breach" moment, just waiting for the Giga Monties to start spawning in my Pokemon game now lol. I had to break fucking everything to win.

[the-sympathetic-villain]

The Stowaway's Heart - Chapter 9

AO3 | First | Previous | Next | Masterpost

Description:  Virgil is rescued by selkies after being abandoned at sea and brought back to their pod to recover. Virgil’s poor, gay heart may just explode from how attractive they all are.

Word Count: 5935

Chapter Warnings: Flirting, Romantic contact, Sexual innuendo, Swearing, Anxiety, Self-esteem issues, Mentions of less than ideal childhoods (Let me know if I missed anything!)

---

“I do apologize, Virgil.” Logan stated, glancing at Remus for help before turning back to Virgil’s desperate expression. “I am struggling to understand why this is an issue. Please, help me understand what is bothering you.”

Virgil stared at his soulmates. His face flushed as he tried to find the right words to convey the sudden feeling of fight-or-flight response pulling at his mind. “I just—I don’t know. It's a lot.”

“It's just dinner, Doom and Gloom.” Remus chimed in playfully. “You won't even have to get naked or nothing—”

“Not helping, Re.” Virgil whined, massaging his temples as he tried to force away the growing ache in his head .

“Awww—Come on, pretty boy.” Remus cooed, curling an arm around his shoulder. “This ain't nothing you haven’t done before.”

Logan's soft chuckle drew Virgil’s attention up as Remus' limbs slowly wrapped around him. “Now, not that I believe Remus’ ego needs stroking—”

“Oh, Lolo.” Remus giggled in Virgil’s ear, mustache tickling his neck. “You make me blush.”

“Re, stop—” Virgil protested weakly, though he could feel his heartbeat start to slow as he melted into Remus’ arms.  His skin tingled with warmth as Logan cleared his throat, drawing both their attention.

Logan's coy smiled gleamed down at Virgil as he stepped forward, raising a hand to Virgil’s cheek. “As I was saying, Remus is right. None of this is nothing new for you.”

“I know,” Virgil’s gaze fell as he went slack in Remus’ arms. His voice dropped, suddenly feeling embarrassed. “but it's different now.”

“What is different, Virgil?” Logan’s smile turned serious as he dropped down beside them.

Virgil bit his lip, hair falling over his eyes as his voice dropped to a whisper. “This is the first time I've been around everyone as an equal.”

“Oh, love.” Logan reached forward to brush the hair from Virgil’s face as Remus' arms squeezed him. “You've always been an equal.”

“I know. Everyone’s been perfectly nice. It’s just—” Virgil quickly lost his words, sighing in exasperation as he shrank back into Remus. “Listen, I get that this doesn’t make any sense, but—"

“It makes perfect sense, Dr. Doom.” Remus’ soothing voice rumbled in his ear as he sank deeper into his soulmate’s arms. “I mean, we boxed you up like a rabid animal. What were you supposed to think?”

“It’s not—it's not that.”

Silence hung in the air for what felt like an eternity before Logan asked the question Virgil had been evading. “What is it that is really bothering you then, dearest?”

“I'm not special.” Virgil whispered quietly, avoiding his soulmates’ eyes. “I'm surrounded by literal mythical beings and I’m just normal.”

“Well,” Logan chuckled, sharing a knowing look with Remus. “I must say I disagree with that sentiment. In fact, I do believe you may be the most special of all of us.”

Virgil’s eyes filled with confusion as he raised an eyebrow in confusion. “I am not.”

“I mean, going by statistics alone, you are the only full bred human among us. The rest of us are selkies.” Logan smirked coyly as he rested a hand on Virgil’s knee. “Therefore, if judging on rarity alone, you are special above all of us.”

“Only if you’re using the lamest metric possible to judge me on.”

“Oh, I am not finished dearest.” Logan smiled as Virgil grumbled. “You are strong where we are weak.”

“What?”

“You are not bound by a pelt, love.” Logan smirked as he traced his fingers up to where Virgil’s hand rested on his thigh. “Should humans land on the island, we are significantly safer with you around because you do not have the same weaknesses as us.”

Virgil hesitated, trying to ignore the tingling in his arm as Logan traced circles on his skin. “I never thought about it that way.”

“Certainly not, because it is as natural to you as breathing.” Logan smiled, not even looking up as he pulled a soft gasp from Virgil as he continued to gently massage his arm. “Much like you seem to overlook your ability to handle our pelts with such ease as a given attribute. Whereas to us, it is a show of incredible strength and self-restraint beyond that of most of your species.”

“I don’t think I should be praised for not turning you into a mindless drone, Lo.” Virgil raised his lip on disgust at the idea, though the expression was short-lived.

“Neither do I, Virgil.” Logan whispered as his fingertips reached Virgil’s elbow.

The light touches along Virgil’s joint sent gentle, lightning-like pulse up his arm, pulling another light gasp from him. “What are you do—”

“However, I do think it is worth considering that it translates to your other traits.” Logan continued quietly. He barely looked up, deep in focus as he rested Virgil’s hand back on his leg and picked up his other hand. “I have already commented on your near selfless behavior, and though I have my concerns about how your self-esteem fuels that trait, it is commendable nonetheless.”

“Logan—” Virgil whined, letting out a breathless sigh as Logan continued his methodic tracing of his arm.

Logan paused briefly, smirking up at the blissful look on Virgil’s face as Remus giggled behind him “Not to mention, I think it is worth noting that your interactions with Patton show that you are both empathetic and compassionate.”

“What are you doing?” Virgil whispered breathlessly.

“Reminding you of all the reasons you are special, love.” Logan whispered, feigning innocence as he smiled knowingly as Virgil’s eyes fluttered wearily.

“I was talking about whatever you’re doing to my arms, you bastard.” Virgil chided weakly, barely keeping his eyes open.

“Sometimes the energy conduits in your body constrict and stop flowing properly due to prolonged stress.” Logan smiled, stopping his movement as he reached up to brush Virgil’s hair from his eyes. “With some practice, I have figured out how to use the gentle application of pressure to allow the energy to flow more efficiently.”

Virgil groaned, rolling his head back into Remus' shoulder. “Do you ever play fair?”

“No,” Logan smirked, drawing his fingertips down Virgil’s jaw. “I have grown accustomed to getting my way.”

Virgil glared up at him, chewing on his lip. “I know I'm overreacting, but—”

“There is no shame in being nervous, dearest.” Logan interrupted gently, smiling reassuringly at him. “but you've contributed a great deal to our lives already and I hate to see you undermine your own value.”

“I haven’t done anything”

“Oh, please.” Remus hushed him with a smirk. “Your presence has changed everything around here.”

Logan’s expression softened as Virgil rolled his head back in disbelief. “What Remus says is true. Obviously, it goes without saying that you have had a significant effect on Remus and I but I think perhaps you don't see the way your presence has affected the others.”

“What do you mean?”

Logan leaned forward, resting a hand on Virgil’s as he continued. “Patton adores you. He has continued to talk about you constantly since the day you were accidentally introduced to him—”

“—and Jan-Jan won't admit it but he's excited to have someone new around." Remus purred into his ear with a sympathetic smile. “The rest of us have known each other since we were kids and it’s been a bit isolating for him.”

Virgil’s eyes dropped to his lap as he leaned into Remus, processing their words. “Roman's really okay with me being out?”

Logan smiled, subtly squeezing Virgil’s hand. “Roman said so himself, love. You have a place here.”

Virgil slowly let out the breath he'd been holding as his grip tightened on Remus' arm. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Logan prompted hesitantly.

“I'll do it.” Virgil bit his lip, nodding stiffly. “It's not like I can avoid it forever anyway.”

The energy around him shifted quickly and he could feel the excitement almost bubbling around him as his soulmates perked up. Remus' arm uncoiled from around him as Logan pulled him to his feet rather suddenly.

Not for the first time, Virgil was grateful that the selkie's grace made up for his own clumsiness. A deep blush settled onto his cheeks as Logan hooked his waist, pulling him close. The selkie’s hair brushed his forehead lightly, sending shivers down his body as Logan leaned his forehead down to his with a contented sigh.

“Thank you, dearest.” Logan whispered, pulling him toward the door. “I promise it will be well worth your time.”

---

Virgil shuffled behind Logan and Remus reluctantly as they led him through the tunnels. His shoulders curled forward, tensing as he tried to make himself smaller as the narrow tunnel began to open up. His anxiety burned in his chest as the loud sound of rushing water filled his ears. He slowed his pace at the entrance to the cave, pausing entirely as he found himself staring out in awe at the open space.

He barely even noticed as Logan and Remus continue on without him as his eye adjusted to the dim light. Hesitantly, he peeked around the corner, letting his eyes trace up the high walls of the cave disappeared into the shadows. His attention slowly drifted to the sound of rushing water as he lifted his head to see a shimmering glimmer on the far wall. A rush of mist rushed past his face as he stepped out into the open and he let out a small gasp as he realized the far wall was made up by a giant  waterfall.

“Beautiful. Isn't it?”

Virgil jumped at the sudden voice behind him. His body tensed and his head spun over his shoulder, relaxing slightly at the sight of Janus' white pelt standing out against the darkness.

“Yeah,” Virgil dropped his gaze, shoving his hands in his pockets as Janus came to stand next to him. “It's pretty impressive, I guess.”

A smile twitched at the corner of Janus' lips as he glanced down at Virgil. “This island holds many wondrous secrets, but this place has always been a particular favorite of mine.”

Dark circles filled the space under Virgil’s eyes as he tipped his gaze up to Janus, crossing his arms. “Yeah?”

“Certainly,” The dim light glistened on Janus' gilded scars as he nodded quietly. “This island has offered sanctuary to us all and there's no denying how fortunate we were to find such a beautiful home, but personally, I'm only truly at peace when I can breathe in the ocean air. The waterfall isn't the same, but the mist offers its own comfort.”

“You don't ever go out?” Virgil questioned, raising an eyebrow up at Janus as the selkie stared wistfully at the waterfall.

Janus shrugged, casually glancing over at Logan and Remus on the far side of the cave. “Of course we do, but it's not as often as any of us would like.”

“Right.” Virgil muttered, chewing his lip as he glanced up at the distant look in the selkie’s eyes. “I guess Logan mentioned that you guys have to be careful, but that doesn't seem fair to deny yourself that comfort when it's so close.”

Janus sighed, crossing his arms across his chest. “Our choices are what brought us here, so to complain about the consequences is redundant. For better or worse, this is our reality now.”

“You hardly seem to have had a choice in your situation.” Virgil muttered quietly, deep in thought.

“Perhaps not originally,” Janus smirked softly at Virgil’s acknowledgement. “but at this point, it's my choice to follow Roman and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Virgil felt his anxiety rise in his chest at the mention of Roman’s name, but he forced his expression to remain neutral. He tapped his fingertips on his arm as he looked down at the ground, eyeing Janus curiously. “What choices brought the others here?”

Janus’ knowing smirk widened. “Forgive me for pointing out the obvious, but I do believe either of your lovers would be more equipped to answer that question than myself.”

“I know. I just—” Virgil stalled as Janus turned to stare at him. He shifted his gaze away, rolling his eyes as Janus chuckled at him. “Just, never mind.”

“Don’t worry, Virgil. I understand.” Janus smiled gently at him. “It's new and you’re still learning to trust them.”

Virgil stopped chewing his lip, looking up at Logan and Remus on the far side of the cave. They were laughing as they sat next each other worked together to light the kindling for the fire. “I'm not worried about them, Janus. I'm worried about what they’ll think of me.”

“Trust me when I say there's nothing you can do to that will scare them away.” Janus reassured him with a knowing smile, running his fingers down the pelt on his shoulders “Even if they weren’t your soulmates, both of them are too insufferably optimistic about people to think ill of you.”

Virgil smirked rolling back on his ankles. “Hopefully, with that advantage I'll be able to live up to their expectations for me.”

Janus smirked, shrugging his shoulders. “You have nothing to worry about, Virgil. Truly, they adore you already."

“Thanks.”  Virgil smiled faintly casting a grateful glance up at Janus. “I appreciate the—”

“Vee!”

Virgil let out a quiet grunt as a small force curled around the back of his knees, nearly knocking him forward onto the ground. He looked down to see Patton’s wet, brown hair as he curled around Virgil’s legs.

“Hey.” Virgil grinned softly as he knelt down to ruffle the kid's wet hair as he giggled. “Long time, no see, kiddo.”

“Finally, the mystery is solved.”

Virgil jumped instinctively at the sound of Roman’s voice behind him. He barely had a moment to react before a hand rested on his shoulder and he looked up to see Janus smiling down at him reassuringly before turning to move back to Roman.

“And what mystery is that, my dear?” Janus cooed as he stepped toward Roman, reaching out to intertwine his fingers around his soulmate’s. An adoring smile spread across his face as he ran his fingers through Roman’s damp, dark hair.

“Our littlest selkie has started referring to his elders as kiddo, and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out where he'd even learned the word,” Roman’s head tipped up to Virgil with a gentle smile. “but it would seem that I've found it's source.

“I'm sorry.” Virgil replied, running his fingers through his hair as he dropped his gaze.

“No need to apologize, Virgil.” Roman replied immediately, holding a hand out in reassurance as Virgil slowly tipped his head back up to him. “I actually find it quite endearing.”

“Oh.” Virgil blinked. He couldn’t help but be shocked at the gentleness in Roman’s voice as he spoke to him. “Right.”

“Vee—” Patton whined impatiently as he leaned his hands into Virgil to get his attention. “—I went swimming today.”

“Did you now?” Virgil felt his confusion melt away as the kid's eyes sparkled up at him.

“I did!” Patton grinned as he rolled forward on his feet. “I went all the way down to the bottom and I wasn’t even scared.”

“That's amazing, kid.” Virgil chuckled as Patton leaned into shoulder. “You’re a lot braver than me.”

Patton beamed at the praise, absently grabbing a handful of Virgil’s shirt as he rolled forward on his feet in excitement. “I brought something for you.”

“For me?” Virgil blinked in surprise. His eyed flitted up to Roman and Janus, chewing his lip at their warm smiles as he turned back to Patton. The kid was almost bouncing as he lifted his hands up and unfolded them for Virgil.

“Yeah, here.” Patton whispered as he held out a dark, black rock. The outside was rough and unremarkable, but as the kid turned over the rock, Virgil’s jaw dropped. The far side of the rock was broken, and Virgil could see glittering purple crystals inside.

“Pat, wow." Virgil whispered as Patton dropped the crystal in his hand. He stared blankly down at the crystal as he ran his fingers over its smooth surface. Warmth spread across his chest as turned up at Patton with a soft smile. “Are you sure you don’t want to keep it for yourself?”

“It's ‘kay.” Patton murmured as he leaned his head into Virgil’s shoulder, curling his arms around Virgil’s bicep. “You need it for your new room. Janus says the purple ones keep the bad dreams away.”

“My new room?” Virgil echoed in disbelief, feeling his shoulders slump as Patton continued to ramble excitedly.

“I didn't want you to be scared, if you have to turn your lamp off.” Patton finished with a tired smile as Virgil wrapped an arm around his waist.

“That was meant to be a surprise,” Roman chuckled softly above him. “but I suppose the kid's tired rambling is as good a way to find out as any other.”

Virgil stood up, gently lift Patton into his arms with him. He looked up at Roman as Patton leaned his head into his chest. “What do you mean?”

“Logan’s room has been functional up until this point but since you’re going to stay, you need to have a space that’s all your own.” Roman smiled as he leaned back into Janus’ chest. “We've got temporary furnishings to get you by for now, but of course eventually we’ll get you something more to your taste.”

“You would do that for me?” Virgil whispered, feeling his voice quiver with emotion.

“Of course, Virgil.” Roman’s expression softened as Patton leaned on Virgil’s chest. “This is your home now. You need a space that belongs only to you.”

“Maybe, but—” Virgil took a small breath as Roman smiled at him reassuringly. “—but, like, personalizing it seems expensive. I wouldn’t want to put you out.”

“To be honest, Logan’s negotiation techniques are effective and the resources we tend to trade are bountiful.” Roman let out a soft snort, looking over at Janus as he rolled his eye. “Not all of us have Logan’s high taste, but his room is proof that he can get his hands on most anything for you.”

“Thank you.” Virgil whispered, unable to think of anything else to say as an unexpected warmth flooded his body.

“There’s no need to thank me or anyone else. The fact that we were going to make you comfortable was a given when you decided to stay.” Roman smiled patiently as Virgil ducked his head to hide the flush on his cheek as gratitude flooded his chest.  “Now, let's get this kid some food before he passes out on you.”

“S-sure. No problem.” Virgil nodded as Roman reached down n to pull Patton off where he'd laid his head on Virgil’s shoulder. The selkie edged past Virgil, followed shortly by Janus. Virgil rose to his feet and hesitantly turned to follow Roman and Janus as they moved to join Logan and Remus around the roaring fire his soulmates had managed to conjure up. Virgil took his time following. He reached his wrist to his eyes, wiping the tears from his eyes before following behind the selkies.

---

Everything seemed to blur around Virgil as he stepped out to join the family of selkies. He could feel tingling on his skin as the sounds of laughter filled the air and the light of the fire flickered on the walls of the cave. The smell of smoke was dampened as it vented out through the gaps of the edge of the waterfall.

Despite Virgil’s best effort, he could feel his energy draining as the selkies moved around him as they prepared the meal. Time seemed to pass slowly as they moved about their routine around him. He knew he should engage but as time passed their words slowly started to melt into the background of his mind. His skin prickled as he stepped back, watching as Logan tossed a bundle of herbs into the pot in which he was cooking as he conversed quietly with Janus.

A sad smile spread across his face as he gravitated towards the shadows, watching the family smile fondly as Patton climbed up to help Logan as he attempted to prepare some sort vegetable that Virgil didn’t recognize. The simple moments held a certain kind of beauty, but as he stood alone, he couldn’t banish the feeling of being disconnected from everyone else at bay. He leaned into the cave wall, so lost in thought that he nearly jumped out of his skin when a pair of arms wrapped around his waist.

“Why ya lurkin'?”

Virgil instantly relaxed at Remus' voice in his ear. He crossed his arms, subtly leaning back into Remus' chest. “I'm not lurking.”

���You’re creeping in the shadows, pretty boy.” Remus cooed quietly into Virgil’s ear. “That's lurkin' by definition.”

Virgil tensed, feeling heat rush to his cheeks as he dropped his eyes to the ground. “I didn’t mean to—”

“Hey—Relax, man. Creep to your heart's content.” Remus pulled him deeper into the shadows as he rested his head in the nook of Virgil’s shoulder. “It's a little overwhelming. Isn’t it?”

Virgil sighed as Remus’ deep voice resonated through his chest as the warmth of his arms soothed him. “It shouldn’t be. Everyone’s been more than nice about letting me stay here.”

“Ain’t nobody letting you do nothing, babe.” Remus chuckled, pulling Virgil down so he was almost curled in Remus' lap as they rested back among the rocks. “Everyone’s excited to have you here.”

“I—” Virgil tensed as Patton squealed in excitement from across the cave. His attention flitted about the room as the feeling of being detached returned to his body as he watched the happy smiles of the family of selkies. Remus' hand curled into his own as his anxiety peaked. He paused, looking up into Remus’ emerald eyes long enough to bring him back to his body enough and relax into Remus’ warmth. “—Thank you, Re.”

“You don't have to thank me for nothing.” Remus purred as Virgil relaxed back into him. “Shit sucks when you feel out of place, especially when you’re supposed to feel like you’re at home.”

“Fucking stupid is what it is." Virgil muttered as curled into Remus' shoulder, eliciting a chuckle from the man holding him. Virgil smirked up at Remus and his expression softened at the melancholy in the man’s expression as he smiled down at Virgil. “You know what it feels like then?”

“I know.” Remus purred at the surprise in Virgil’s voice. With a dramatic flourish, his hand came to rest on Virgil’s leg as he played up his apparent distress. “It’s difficult to imagine that anyone could resist my dazzling charm, but there’s no accounting for taste.”

Virgil snorted, blushing as Remus’ crooked grin beamed down at him. He chuckled as he shyly dropped his gaze, leaning into Remus' shoulder. “Sounds like their loss.”

Softness spread across Remus’ dramatics melted into a fond smile and firelight flickered in his eyes as he stared down at Virgil. “You surprise me, Virge. I thought for sure you’d take longer than Lolo to warm up to me.”

“What do you mean?”

“Poor bastard actually cried when we found out were soulmates.” Remus chuckled as Virgil’s eyes darted to Logan and back to Remus.

“What?” Virgil's grip tightened on Remus' hand and he started to sit up.

Remus shrugged, smiling down at Virgil as he gently eased him back. “In his defense, we were both only a little older than Patton when we found out, so we were both pretty freaked.”

“You were that young?” Virgil relaxed slightly as Remus' arm curled around the back of his neck.

“Our pods traveled the same waters. We ended up at the same beaches throughout the year.” Remus chuckled. “I actually thought he was a bit of a stick in the mud before I got to know him. Couldn’t take a joke to save his life.”

“Really?” Virgil stared over at Logan across the room, unable to imagine a Logan who was anything less than the sultry man whose unearthly amount of confidence was constantly testing his wit's end.

“Thought I was going to end up giving up my entire life for some prude.” Remus chuckled. “Never In my life would I have imagined that he'd be willing to leave his own pod, let alone that he'd be able to outmatch me on my own bullshit better even than Roman.”

Virgil blinked, turning back to Remus in confusion. “He left his pod?”

“Soulmates are kind of a big deal, especially among selkies. Don’t matter how young you are. Once you’re matched, you’re expected to stay with each other.” Remus sighed. “Most pairs come from the same pods, but since we came from different pods one of us had to give up the life we knew.”

“Seems pretty harsh.” Virgil muttered. “You were just kids. How can they ask that of you?”

“At the time, I thought it was total sea horse shit,” Remus growled as he reluctantly shrugged it off. “but I was glad to have had him around when I did. My own pod didn’t like me much but thanks to him, I always had someone outside of Roman.

Virgil frowned, resting a hand on Remus’ waist as he drew quieter. “I thought you said he was upset.”

“Not upset, just scared.” Remus whispered with a smile. “As if all the overwhelming feelings weren't enough, Lolo was made even more nervous by the fact that I had a bit of a reputation.”

“I'm sure you did—”

“Not like I do now,  Virge.” Remus cut him off abruptly, looking ashamed. “It wasn’t good.”

Virgil paused, surprised by Remus interruption.

“I was an angry kid. Ro was constantly bailing me out of brawls with my podmates.” Remus sighed, glancing over at Roman. “Hell, I can't even imagine if I didn’t have him in my corner. I give my brother a lot of shit, but he's always had my back when I needed him.”

“Why were you mad?”

“Felt out of place and lonely. People were drawn to Roman and repulsed by me.” Remus whispered. “I don’t care what anyone says. If a kid gets the idea in their that they’re not wanted, that shit messes ‘em up for life.”

“I know the feeling.” Virgil replied, quietly fidgeting with his sleeve.

“Gotta say though, my whole attitude changed when Lolo came around.” Remus whispered as a rosy blush spread across his face and he grinned down at Virgil. “God, he's so pretty. You know?”

Virgil smiled as he curled into Remus warmth watching his eyes light up as he talked about Logan.

“I was so scared he wouldn’t even like me. Might be the only time in my life I tried to dull myself down to impress someone.” Remus purred. “I was ready for another rejection but turns he was into all the same weird shit I was.”

“It's too soon for you to be dragging me into all your guys' kinky shit, Re.” Virgil teased, holding Remus'

“Fuck off.” Remus giggled.  “We were kids, you freak.”

Virgil's breath caught in his throat as Remus curled his face into his neck. He squirmed, wrapping his arms around Remus’ neck in an attempt to stop him from tickling his neck with his mustache.

Remus let out a long breath Virgil curled across his lap, hands wrapped around his neck. “I thought I was alone in the world and then I suddenly had a friend who was willing to swim to the bottom of the harbor to dig up the best worms or see how far we could swim under the ice. It was like goddamn magic.”

Virgil smiled, reaching a hand up to run his hand through Remus’ dark curls. “That's really sweet, Re.”

“It was easily the best thing to happen in my life until I met you.” Remus purred, grin widening as heat rushed to Virgil’s cheeks. ““I can tell this is going to be just as life-changing.”

“I didn’t know you were such a sap, Re.” Virgil dipped his head into Remus' chest, hoping the shadows might hide the bright red flush spreading across his face.

“Can't help it.” Remus smirked. “You’re cute when you blush.”

“Shut up.”

Remus hummed contentedly as Virgil retreated deeper into his chest. He smiled, placing a gentle kiss on Virgil’s temple. “How are you feeling now, stormcloud?”

“Better.” Virgil admitted quietly, realizing he'd lost his nervousness as he listened to Remus.

“Good.” Remus smiled. “You’re going to find your place here, but while you’re figuring it out, you can always fall back on me when everything gets a little too overwhelming.”

“The same goes for myself, Virgil.”

Virgil blinked. He looked up to see Logan lingering next to them, his back to the firelight as he stared down at them.

“If ever you are feeling uncertain or overwhelmed, I hope you know you can seek refuge with myself or Remus.” Logan smiled as he slipped down next to them. “While I hope you do continue to join our family gatherings, there is no pressure to do so all at once. Stepping back when you need to is important for your own well-being and that is always our first priority.”

“Thank you. Both of you.” Virgil whispered, feeling warmth rise in his chest as his soulmates stared down at him with gentleness in his eyes. “Both of you. I-I don’t even know what to say.”

“Then say nothing, love.” Logan whispered with a soft smile as he ran a hand through Virgil’s hair. “Your feelings are shared by us all.”

Virgil nodded quietly, feeling the warmth spread from his chest to the rest his body as Logan rose to his feet and offered him a hand up.

“Now, I do hope you are hungry, because dinner is ready and everyone would like to see more of you.” Logan whispered, intertwining his fingers with Virgil’s. “if you are ready for that, of course.”

“I am.” Virgil’s heart jumped in in chest as his soulmates closed in on his sides. He'd never felt so relaxed they led him back to the campfire.

Roman was the first to look up as they approached. A gentle smile spread across his face as he looked up from the pot. “Sit anywhere you like, Virgil. I'll bring a dish to you.”

“Thank y—”

“No! Sit next to me!”

Virgil smiled as Patton jumped up to clear the spot next to him.

“Patton—There's no need to be so demanding.” Janus chided him softly.

Patton stopped, his small body leaned on the rocks for a moment as he considered Janus' words. After a brief moment, he quickly turned back to Virgil with a wide smile. “Pretty please will you sit with me?”

Virgil smiled at the kid’s enthusiasm, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he dropped down next to the kid. “Well, how can I say no to such a polite request?”

He could see Janus roll his eyes as the kid squealed and scooted over to him. His eyes lingered for a moment as Patton curled his fingers around Virgil’s hand.

“Have you picked a room yet, Vee?” Patton asked, leaning into his shoulder.

Virgil chuckled, as the kid’s eyes sparkled up at him. “Not yet, Pat. I haven’t had a chance to look around yet.”

“I think you should have the room next to mine.” Patton suggested proudly.

“That is certainly an option if you would never like to sleep again, Virgil.”  Janus turned his gaze from the empty air around them back to Virgil with a smirk.

Virgil chuckled as Janus’ sarcasm didn’t seem to register in Patton’s mind as he looked eagerly up at Virgil. “I'm not sure, kiddo. I might have to see a few places first.”

“I can show you tomorrow.” Patton shouted gleefully. “I know all the best ones.”

“Sounds great, Pat.” Virgil smiled quietly. “but I don't think it's up to me if we can do that.”

“That's perfectly fine if that's what you want to do, Virgil.”

Virgil turned up his head, surprised to see Roman above him, hand extended as he offered Virgil a bowl. He hesitantly let go of Patton’s hand to take the bowl of soup from Roman, glancing cautiously at the faces around him.

“Of course, I do think that someone should accompany you both since you are unfamiliar with the tunnels, Virgil,” Roman smiled at his blank expression as he continued. “but I see no reason why that cannot be arranged.”

“I would be more than happy to accompany Virgil and Patton tomorrow.” Logan offered, dropping down next to him as Roman offered him a bowl. “I believe it would be wise anyway to have the input if someone whose familiar with each to point out potential cons as you choose your new living space.”

“Very well, but Patton will be your responsibility, Lo.” Roman continued, absently handing out bowls of food as he went. “It's not fair to place that expectation on Virgil until he’s settled in a bit more, especially when Patton has a habit of wandering off on his own."

“Of course. I do not mind the resp—"

“Really?” Virgil finally sputtered out. “You’re actually going to let me take the kid out tomorrow?”

Roman paused as Virgil’s timid voice broke his concentration and he turned back to face him. Guilt seemed to flash across his face as Virgil stared up at him in disbelief. “Of course, Virgil. Your restrictions have been lifted. We discussed this already.”

“I know—” Virgil whispered quietly, heat rising in his face as all the eyes in the room turned to him.  “I guess I assumed the kid was an exception.”

Roman’s eyes softened as Virgil ducked his head down, running a hand through his hair. “No exceptions, Virgil. You’re part of our family now.”

Virgil’s mouth hung agape as he glanced around the warm expressions of the faces around him. He blinked, absently wrapping an arm around Patton as the kid leaned into his side.

“There are no more tests, love.” Logan whispered, curling an arm around his waist from beside him as he placed a gentle kiss on Virgil’s temple. “You can breathe now.”

Virgil nodded at Logan in apparent shock. He swallowed glancing around at the others as they nodded their own affirmations and turned back to their own conversations, leaving him to ponder the new information. A warmth welled in his chest as he settled in to the subtle contact of Logan and Patton on each side of him and slowly, a smile spread across his face as he brought a spoonful of the savory soup to his lips, listening to the family of selkies as their excited voices filled the air around him.

Somehow the sound of their voices around him wasn't so overwhelming anymore. The feelings of anxiety he'd had seemed to fade to the back of his mind as the hours the night began to pass him by, filled by the sounds of stories of his new family. A warm feeling of gratitude filled his chest that Logan had insisted on him coming out. He relaxed into Logan's shoulder, feeling the warmth of the warmth of the fire as he learned more about the wonderful people who had welcomed him into their home and he was happy.

---

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Release the Hounds {15/15}

Chapter 15: Get Down

Chapter Summary: The search continues for Hades in the mortal realm and on Olympus Thor must face the reality that his council will never be the same. The End. 

Word Count: 3,700ish

A/N: its been about three months since I wrote the last chapter and I’ve lost motivation to write, had depressive episodes, moved cities away from my family and spent countless hours writing and rewriting this chapter not wanting it to end. Thank you to everyone who read and will read this, your support will forever hold a dear place in my heart and I appreciate all of the messages I have received from the beginning of this story more than any of you will know. Here is the finale, I hope I did you all justice <3

“Harley, Peter, you two take to the south down the mountain, Rebecca will take to the skies and I’ll go west,” Natasha handed out the instructions for their search as if it were another battle plan. To her and everyone else there it was just that. Time was of the essence and if they left it too long there was a high chance that Hades was dead. 

From the amount of blood and gold on the snow in front of them, they didn’t have much time at all, and by how weak Harley was already feeling, he knew it was near. 

To the east was a cliff, Rebecca had already peered down and Natasha’s owl had done a closer inspection with no evidence of the queen of the Underworld. 

“Steve, you’ll go north into the woods, you’ll be stronger in the trees.” That was her last instruction before they parted ways. If one were to find Hades a flare would be sent into the sky that lit up the sky like the Star of Bethlehem. If they came into trouble, well, they’d have to figure that out when they came to that obstacle. 

It’s good to know what these gods were going up against, yes they were searching through a mountain range with a forest climbing its sides. But they were also in the middle of nowhere. There was no sign of human life for miles upon miles and that meant one of two things.

The first thing it meant was that this was a hunting ground at the best of times but unsurvivable for humans majority of the time, this was in the favour of the gods, it was the middle of winter, it was slim to none that they would come across a human while searching the land in this area.

The second thing it meant was that with the lack of humans came an abundance of other things. Animals filled the land, from the woods to the cliff faces. Predators like eagles, foxes and wolves hunted the land. Prey like small birds, rabbits and even goats lived as best they could. It was hard for any mortal animal to really thrive in these woods though. With no humans in this land it meant there were no demigods, no half and half’s to protect the preciousness of mortal life, so the supernatural, the monsters that were too rabid for the city roamed the land freely. 

The further Steve stepped into the woods the less connected with the mortal world he felt. Cerberus walked in front of him with his nose to the ground but he hadn’t picked up the scent of Hades yet, there were too many other smells. Smells that Cerberus liked, minotaurs, werewolves, even a griffin but too far away. 

Steve was on high alert, every noise, every rustle of leaves and breeze that blew past him caught his attention. He had to take it slow, a hunt, not a fight. Go too quickly and he could miss something, a sign, blood, a mark she could have made, anything. There was evidence of the beasts all around him, paw prints and scratches on tree trunks, leftover hunted prey left to the other animals in the woods but no sign of Hades. 

Hades sight was hazed. She couldn’t make out details around her as she reached out across the ground and felt the ground beneath her. Cold stone under her fingertips, sharp rocks up the side of the wall. She was in a cave, deep into it with little light around her, it wasn’t just the injuries that had taken her sight. 

There was no portal near her, she was too weak to make her own way to the underworld but she could feel the magic around her. She could feel the supernatural beings’ powers and strength more than the weakness that the mortal world put her through. But it wasn’t enough to help her move out of the cave herself. 

In the snow, in the middle of the forest, wolves stalked the trees. They kept watch and growled at any noise or critter that came close. It didn’t take much longer for Cerberus to smell the wolves. A scent that Cerberus was familiar with but not for years. 

It was getting cold and dark when they came to the small clearing at the front of the cave. Steve could almost sense the wolves stalking the area around him as they walked out of the tree line to be met with one lone wolf standing at the entrance. 

Cerberus immediately bowed to the wolf who’s fur was a crisp white like the snow beneath his paws. It stood side on but as it turned to bow down to both Steve and Cerberus, Steve caught a glimpse of something that made his skin crawl and his heart drop.

Gold. Soaked into his fur mixed with dark red in the matted fur. 

“Where is she?!” He choked out, trying to be strong even though his body was crippling with fear. The wolf was big, bigger than any he had seen before. It currently towered over both he and Cerberus, who was still bent down to the ground. It stood, looked at Steve and then turned back into the cave. Cerberus sat patiently in the snow now, he knew this wasn’t his place, he knew this pack, he was a part of this pack, he would do what the leader said. 

Steve however, he followed the white wolf into the cave, deeper and deeper until it stopped and stepped aside to show Steve the lost treasure he had been looking for. 

And there she was. 

And there he stood.

She could feel him, that same smell from the first time they met, fresh rain, pollen in the air, it stood out against the damp, the stone and the stench of death she knew was coming from herself. Maybe she wasn’t so much better than Demeter said. Maybe she deserved this. 

It took some time to convince the wolves to let him take Hades. She’d fallen back asleep soon after his arrival, not even acknowledging him, he wasn’t sure she actually knew he was here. The wolves were protective of their fallen angel. But Steve was able to convince them that he was her safety, he told them he would protect her, that he would take her home.

“There must be a doorway here?!” He said into the darkness but only stone walls surrounded him. “How am I meant to get her home?” He come all this way, he’d worked so hard this entire time to help her and the Underworld, and now? All of his work, all of the time he’d spent learning about her world when he could have spent it with her. His priorities were morphed to what he thought was right, putting her on the council. But what was right had nothing to do with her position, nothing to do with anyone else but her, she should have been his priority. 

She was too light in his arms as he picked her from the group. Her skin was cold, lacking of any sort of colour. The wolves stepped aside as he carried her out of the cave where Cerberus waited, now standing tall in his true form. Three heads, obsidian black fur and paws as big as Steve’s chest. 

“Take us home Cerberus?” He asked and the pet growled in response, kneeling as Steve placed Hades on his back and climbed up afterwards. “As fast as possible Spot.”

Cerberus bound towards the edge of the cliff, closer and closer until he jumped. Steve held Hades tight as they fell further and further until the depths below turned black and rimmed with gold.

Behind them, at the entrance to the cave the wolves ventured further into the woods again, their debt owed to the god who saved their youngest. Behind them, as they went out of sight, a birch tree sprout. Taller than any seen before in the mortal realm, leaves full and green in the middle of winter. A normal looking tree apart from its height to many but to those that knew, to Natasha and Rebecca as they saw it grow from the top of the mountain, to Peter and Harley who saw it tower over everything else, they knew what it meant. A new beginning was here and the Queen will be returned home. 

One Week Later

Thor stood overlooking Olympus from his balcony. It was filled with life and freedom, as if the past few months had never happened, as if his sister hadn’t been attacked and left for dead by someone he trusted, as if everyone was safe and things we normal.

“Funny how little they really know isn’t it?” Loki stood by his side, as he always had. The green and teal of his cloak reflecting in the sun overhead and against the snow on the ground. “Bucky has come full force today it seems,” he smiled.

“Its in celebration, she woke up today, she’s doing much better it seems. MJ has been by her side continuously to help the healing. She’ll be back to herself soon enough.” 

“Say her name would you Thor. What could go wrong if you say it here, no one is around.” Loki slithered behind Thor, his hands dropped onto his shoulders, “Hades.” He said into his ear. “Our darling sister, our first protector, the selfless one, the keeper of our secrets. Say her name in Olympus dear brother, shout it from the rooftops!” Loki leaned his back against the railing as Thor whispered her name and they felt the wind settle briefly around them.

“Hades is awake,” he said quietly, “Demeter is locked in her home and Hades will sit on the council. Are you happy?”

“I am, though I do wish you had given me the pleasure of tearing that godforsaken mother from earth apart myself but to each their own.” Loki smiled jokingly at Thor who let out a deep laugh back. Brothers, until the end of time. 

The air began to still in Olympus as the two stood overlooking it, the people in the streets and the market stood still, the bustling sound softened to a murmur that they could no longer hear. 

And when the brothers looked out at the steps of Olympus they saw the reason for the silence. First it was the black petals that floated through the air around her, the blackened path that dragged behind her cloak, turning to a gold pathway as the judges followed her in full adorned armour. Pietro in silver, a hero, Wanda in red, to remember the innocent, and Sam in black, for the monsters, his wings mixed with the colours of the judges and dripping gold for his queen as he walked a step behind the other two. One, two and three, they followed her on the gold plated path. A few steps behind them was the final member of her entourage, his armour held the most colour, blues and reds, pinks and greens and a shield on his back.

The queen walked with purpose, she didn’t look to the sides at the nymphs and olympians, she didn’t take in any of their judgements. Even though they murmured with gossip as they watched the son of Demeter follow his mother’s enemy. They whispered about how Hades had kidnapped Steve, how she had lured him with a flower so beautiful he couldn’t resist, others whispered about how it was Steve that turned his back from Demeter, that he was coerced by the judges to join the Underworld before the debate and they had poisoned his mind. Rumours ran hot in Olympus as the five continued to walk onwards towards the temple. 

Inside the temple was chaos. Thor and Loki moved quickly to the throne room where the rest of the Olympian gods were already waiting, having been summoned by Hades herself to meet. Something the brothers weren’t aware of until a nymph of Thor stopped him in the hallway and exclaimed as such.

The letters had appeared on their desks, their counter tops or bedside tables late last night and had been kept under wraps from all after the heat of the last few weeks.

The doors burst open before the council and Hades stepped into the room. The twelve gods sat in their seats and stood as she moved to stand in the centre, the judges stayed back, as did Steve, awaiting their next order.

One bowed to the queen, Ares, he kneeled as soon as she entered. No one knew what this meeting was about, no one knew why they were called and everyone feared the worst, especially with the absence of Demeter. Ares feared Hades’ wrath the most, he would have no part in this, he’d chosen his side and continued to be loyal to both Olympus as well as Hades. 

“Good morning all,” she smiled sweetly and bowed her head but none replied. 

Then the doors opened and in walked Thor and Loki. They moved to their thrones, side by side the biggest of all and at the forefront of the council, one empty on one side of Thor. Hades knelt, her entourage followed.

“What are you doing out of bed so soon?” Thor questioned as he sat, his voice seeped with disappointed.

“I’m fine brother, no need to worry,” she rolled her eyes lovingly at her brother and stood straight. “I’ve come to present my statement, and return what was taken.” 

Steve tried to protest, he had no idea this was what she was doing, he thought she was taking her rightful seat on the council. Sam glared in his direction, daring him to speak.

“You’ve already come home sister,” Loki said and Hades cocked an eyebrow at him. “May I?” He gestured to Thor who simply nodded his head. All of the olympian gods looked on confused, they all assumed the same, that she was here to give back Steve, they had no idea what was really going on. “Transparency is key it seems and we have learnt that the hard way here haven’t we? Hades I believe I speak for everyone here when I say we are pleased to honour your rightful place on the council beside us, this throne was and will always be yours if you wish to take it.”

“What of-?”

“She’s been banned from any council business.” Thor stood before the council as Loki sat back down, he slowly walked down the few steps to Hades. “Demeter’s views do not match that of the council, she no longer has Olympus or the mortals in her best interests, only herself. She’s been locked in her home, awaiting punishment.” He looked past Hades towards Steve with sorrow in his eyes, “we were to meet later today to discuss her punishment, but I’m glad you’re here, we can begin business. Now sit, judges, you may wait outside as is custom.” 

Hades followed Thor up the steps and so casually that it never felt out of place she sat, on the council of Olympus. 

“God of Spring,” Steve heard as he turned to walk out, “won’t you be sitting to speak for your domain?” Bucky smirked at his friend, inviting him to the seat beside him. 

Steve looked to the big three, to the other gods surrounding him, they were all waiting for his answer, waiting for him to sit where his mother once had. And of course, he would never keep them waiting long. 

“Are you sure about this?” She asked him at the rivers’ edge. He looked up to the gates as they glistened and moved, the flowers bloomed, the gold sparkled in the sun, the daffodils were scattered far and wide and he looked back to her. 

“My task isn’t done yet, if I’m to teach Olympians everything they need to know about the Underworld, I need to know everything myself.” He smiled at her, his Queen.

“You don’t have to do this Steve, I can get MJ to reverse the curse,” she was so unsure, with no one around she was always so much more vulnerable with him.

“I don’t want it to be broken, and even if it was it wouldn’t stop me from coming back any chance I could to see you.” A step closer, a whisper under his breath just for her. “The fates brought me to you-“

“That doesn’t mean you have to stay.”

“Would you be quiet,” he laughed and she shied away. “They are not why I want to stay,” a gently hand on her cheek, pushing a boundary they had unspokenly set for themselves. Never to succumb to the fates, to form their own opinions, to have their own conclusions. “I have to have you in my life.”

“And you in mine,” she gleamed and when he beamed back she thought Bucky had brought the sun down to the Underworld with how warm she felt.

“I have to collect some things from Bucky, but I’ll be back later tonight, I promise.” Steve turned to leave before she could even say goodbye but he stopped in his tracks at her voice.

“Take Cerberus! He’ll protect you where I can’t.” The dog shrinking to the Doberman he was familiar with by his side. 

Under the stars of the souls, painted in the skies of the Underworld by artists the God of Spring held the Queen of the Dead. He kissed her in front of the Gates of the Underworld, where their symbols were intertwined for eons before their paths even crossed, before either of them knew of the importance of each other. 

A kiss that was a promise, a see you soon, a please be safe. The two gods were never away from each other for long. When the God of Spring returned in the darkness later that night, when everything was sound asleep he walked into the home of Hades to find her still wide awake, sitting and watching over the gates, waiting for his return. He was welcomed with a small smile, a “you were gone too long” and tugs towards bed. 

The fates dropped him in the Underworld at her feet. They twisted and pulled at their strings together and bound, no knife or scissors could ever break them apart. All the gods knew, all those who were witnesses were well aware now and none feared they were wrong. The protector, had her own protection. 

That is the story of Hades and Persephone. Of love and betrayal. Of chosen family. Of new homes and realising ones worth. I don’t think I’m missing anything, they lived happily ever after and all that good stuff. Why are you still here? They kissed, isn’t that what you wanted?!

Oh 

I know what it is.

What punishment did the council decide on you ask? What consequence did Demeter face? 

It was winter in Olympus, the God of Spring returned to collect his belongings to go to his new home in the Underworld where he would spend each winter for the rest of time. But there was one step he had to make along the way. 

In the dead of the night Demeter sat at the gazebo that was once her son’s. She’d torn through the drawings and belongings she’d found there, they sat amongst the cold wood. Her tears had quietened as she began to accept her defeat and fall from power. As she did so the leaves began to move. 

She heard footsteps in the snow, crunching under the weight of whoever moved towards her. 

“Who goes?! No one is allowed in here show yourself!” She yelled into the darkness with no reply. 

Through the splitting wood of the gazebo behind her, flora began to grow. Vines, roses with thistle sharp as knives, asphodel in the corners. And at its centre Demeter saw the fruition of the prophecy she once thought she controlled. 

In the darkness of her garden, eyes shone through behind her. A man standing tall, his eyes a crisp blue, anger seething from them. Above him were three more sets of eyes, red, glaring at their prey.

No nymph could have this power, no member of Olympus par from the big three were allowed to step foot within this home anymore. She was to be locked away from all that she held so dear. But there were still pathways, there are always pathways even into a locked room. And he had found it. 

Demeter felt her breath shorten as it flowered, the daffodil, through the cracks of her son’s gazebo it flowered bright and tall in the night. And when she turned she saw the moon catch sight of the metal weapon in his hand. No nymph would feel her wrath again, no child would think they were less than loved in her presence ever again, no god would think they had no worth because of the poison that left her tongue. Because she would never be seen again. 

The eyes slipped back into the darkness and disappeared as if they were never there. He left the same way he came, through the cracks in the stone that the caves reached. Ironic that the place she feared most was just a doorway away from her home this entire time he thought as he left her fearing for her life. 

“The scythe will swing low,” he whispered as it closed behind him. The three headed dog by his side, back in the realm of the dead and moving towards the home on top of the hill as if he’d just popped down to the store. Now he was home.

“When the wind is still and the air is cold, the sun will shine in Hades. 

When what belongs is brought home the snow will fall.

It will crunch under the steps of the taken, it will slice through the heart of the fallen.

The harvest will not grow when spring is taken. 

But the daffodil will grow through the cracks of the grave

And the scythe will swing low.” 

The End 

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[cloud9in]

Animal Control  (Mc x Poppy)

Summary: Bea decides to buy Poppy a gerbil but it doesn’t go well...A whole bunch of chaos ensues and maybe some hands thrown? Includes Chloe and Veronica. 

Notes: Yeah this is the most chaotic thing my mind has come up with. I hope you enjoy and laugh. It’s FLUFF, and a little angst.

Word Count: 2.4k 

Tags: @samanthadalton @clowneryme @somewillwin @baexpoppy @zigxryanz @uselesslesbianfr @aleiramacaii (sorry if I missed you or if you want to be added to Poppy tags lemme know)

*NO GERBILS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING*

WHAT. IS. THAT?!  BEA HUGHES GET IT OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW!!”

It would be an understatement if I said that the whole world could hear Poppy right now.

Bea, wanting to be a good girlfriend, went out and bought a special gift for the blonde. But it definitely got a reaction she wasn’t hoping for. 

Bea watched as Poppy jumped onto the bathroom sink as a little critter ran across the floor. It wasn’t really a critter though, just a cute little fat animal thing that Bea thought Poppy would gush over. “CHLOE CALL ANIMAL CONTROL”

....she wasn’t hoping for that response either. 

“Pops! Okay okay I’ll get him it’s okay. He won’t hurt you. Well-“

“Well?!” 

“Well he might give you a little nibble BUT that’s COMPLETELY normal and-“

“BEA!”

“POPPY!”

 Their voices started to boom through the Zeta House as Veronica and Chloe rushed up the stairs and straight into the commotion. The scene before them was utterly shocking in a sense. The blonde stood on the counter, her foot nearly in the sink as she hugged the wall and squeezed her eyes shut...and seemed to be praying to herself? Bea, on the other hand, stood on all 4s as she looked under the cabinet. The Zeta girls glance at each other and then back at the couple as they try to process what was happening. “....So is either one of you going to explain or are we going to-“

 Bea jumped at the new voice in the room, hitting her head on the edge of the cabinet. “Ow!” Veronica bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from laughing as Chloe turned away to hide the grin on her face. Poppy opened her eyes, too distracted to notice Bea wince and rub her head. She peers around the bathroom, breathing a sigh of relief when she doesn’t spot the little gremlin crawling about. The blonde notices her friends standing by the door and her face flushes impossibly red as they watch her from down below. Real nice Poppy, they definitely envy you right now. Is that a new yoga pose you’re doing right now? I don’t think your foot belongs there. 

 She clears her throat and steps down from the counter. “Chloe didn’t you hear me? I said to call animal control there is a rabid pest in the house.” Poppy shoots Bea an annoyed look, and all the brunette could do was stand there and shrug her shoulder sheepishly. Poppy didn’t expect Chloe to full on panic but now there was another blonde running around the room hysterically. Chloe shrieks and whispers to herself, “oh my god a pest?! What if it lays eggs, or what if people hear about this?” She turns towards Poppy and gasps, “do we have to call the terminator?!” Bea blinks in confusion until it hits her, “termin-? wha...OH!” She spins until she faces her girlfriend, “NO! Don’t you dare call the exterminator! It’s a gerbil for crying out loud, it doesn’t deserve that-” Chloe begins to laugh and points an accusing finger at Bea, “it wouldn’t be here in the first place if you stopped coming in here smelling like a farm.”

 The brunette does a double take at the dumb blonde, “EXCUSE ME?!” She takes a deep breath and pinches the top of her nose to calm down, “...Chloe do you even know what a gerbil is?”

 “Oh I’ll tell you what it is! GONE! It’s leaving now Bea.” Poppy stomps in between the two girls with a deadly expression. Poppy was definitely not going to hold either one of them back if they started fighting. The hell does she look like doing that? But they were definitely not going to damage anything in her room so enough was enough. Bea glances at Poppy and can feel her starting to get more pissed off. She should stop, she should definitely stop. Maybe because she doesn’t actually know where said gerbil is…and Poppy would erase her entire existence off of this planet if Bea ever told her that. 

 Chloe looks over at Bea and can tell that she’s starting to back down. “Oooh aren’t you a nice pet, obeying your girlfriend. Where did all of your self respect go?” A cat-like grin slowly appears on the blonde’s face as Bea’s jaw slackens in shock. 

“You’re one to talk bitch! How about I get rid of you while I’m at it.”

“Oh bring it pig girl!-”

 Both girls close in on each other as Poppy is sent sprawling back on her ass. She sits there in complete shock and blinks a couple times to refocus.

 Veronica, still standing by the door, takes no effort in trying to stop the cat fight happening in front of her. In fact she sneaks away to grab her phone and starts filming the whole thing. Perfect for some blackmail later. And well she could probably get paid a lot to sell this video. Thank you Poppy for your glorious last name. 

 Okay now you’re probably wondering where the gerbil comes in to play? We’re getting there, just wait…

 Bea and Chloe tumble into Poppy’s walk in closet as one tries to gain the upper hand. To Bea’s shocking surprise, the blonde knows how to throw hands. But the brunette more so wanted to pin her down instead of actually hitting her, she knows that won’t end well for either of them. 

 Poppy stares at Veronica filming them in all sorts of angles. How did she even get up on that shelf?  She rolls her eyes with irritation, already feeling a headache forming. The screaming match on the other side of the room was not helping either. All the blonde wanted was to have a peaceful spa day and try her new Glossier vitamin skincare mask, and maybe have a nice lunch with Bea. This was definitely going to leave some wrinkles. Poppy sighed heavily and tried to stand up, but a flash of little legs ran across the floor a few feet from where she sat, and she felt her heart stop. Poppy shut her eyes, hoping and praying that it isn’t what she thinks it is, and to her awful surprise it was most definitely the gerbil. One second of silence passes before Poppy lets out the most horrific, high pitched scream known to man. It was serious enough that Veronica stepped down from the shelf and Bea loosened her grip on Chloe’s hair. The adrenaline hit Poppy so hard as she sprinted out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind her, and lunging into the closet where the other girls stood like deers in headlights. Bea quickly approaches her girlfriend, partly terrified and partly concerned. 

 “I just saw it! The- the fiend. It’s in the bathroom still. Just get rid of it Bea please..”

 Poppy cowers in the corner trying to cover herself with faux fur coats and whatever she could find that makes her feel less exposed. The girls just stood and watched her, all sharing confused glances. Poppy loved animals, but she never signed up for rodents as well. This meant a serious talk with Bea after everything settled down. 

The brunette sighs with a little bit of relief at Poppy’s words, “Oh atleast you found it, I thought I lost him for good..”

 The blonde turns so fast it almost makes Bea dizzy. Her face goes pale as Poppy doesn’t break eye contact with her, “ You...what?! You lost it?!” 

 “Poppy that’s really not what we should focus on right now-”

 “If you couldn’t tell...I am losing my mind right now Bea.” She gestures wildly to the mismatched outfit on her body and her tangled locks.  “If we don’t capture this animal and RETURN. IT.” She takes one menacing step towards everyone, “none of you will leave alive, got it?” 

 Okay Poppy is scary, i’ll admit it. 

 Bea exhales nervously and looks at Chloe, and Chloe looks at Veronica who is holding a camera in her face, completely unfazed. Chloe scoffs with disbelief, swatting the phone out of her face, “Really V?! This is not the time for that.”

 The vlogger just kept filming with a shameless smirk painted on her face, “Or what? You’ll fight me too?”

 Before anything could progress again, Bea intervenes even while trying to catch her breath. “Okayyy, lets not do this. Can we just work together and catch the gerbil so Poppy can act normal again?” The brunette laughs internally because she knows that her girlfriend is probably staring directly into her soul, but she doesn’t look. She could not imagine herself fighting Poppy, even though they technically did in the water fountain once, but that was more like a fever dream and she found it kinky, anyways… Bea took the lead and headed straight for the door to the bathroom, preparing herself for the quick little monster. 

“Do we not have a secure plan for this? Just gonna open the door and hope for the best?” Chloe huffs out. And if Bea was being honest, that was the most sensible thing she had said all day.That girl was full of surprises. “I’m not scared of him like ya’ll. He is just very quick and I don’t want to lose him again.” 

 “Listen, I don’t care what you guys are or aren’t. I am still standing by what I said earlier...and I guess I will help as well.” It was already embarrassing how Poppy had acted before, but the blonde wanted to save the last of her dignity and so she stood in the far back, offering to be the last minute captor if anything went wrong. Bea was grateful that she didn’t appear to be very mad at her, but she wasn’t a fool. Still, it was better to be in trouble than dead, in some ways. The brunette braced herself and counted to three before swinging the door open and lunging to the floor immediately. Too bad the gerbil was too quick for Bea and it ran between her legs. She grunted with frustration before tripping backwards and knocking right into Chloe, who fell back onto Veronica like a freaking domino effect. The room erupted into screams as Poppy unwillingly ran forward and grabbed the rodent by its tail and lifted it into the air, hundreds of feets away from her body of course. “I got it! I got it!...Now what do I do, Bea?!!” 

 “Okay! okay calm down...and slowly bring it towards me. That’s it you got it..” Bea cautiously steps towards Poppy and holds her hands out to catch it if things went awry. Poppy stood frozen with fear and shock, still not registering that there was a gerbil scrambling wildly and hanging from her fingers but she pushed the dread away and successfully placed it into Bea’s hands. Mission freaking accomplished. The room visibly sighed with relief after Bea placed the animal back into his cage but Poppy could only stare at her fingers in horror. She’d need to exfoliate it maybe twice, get a new manicure, a skin peel maybe, or just some new skin honestly. 

 ***

After the chaos had settled down and Poppy finally scrubbed herself clean, she walked back into her room and saw Bea lazily playing with the gerbil in his cage. If she wasn’t so creeped out by the rodent, the blonde would almost think this view was very sweet. Bea noticed her immediately and sat up with a guilty expression. “Pops...If I had known that you’d react like that I would have never even thought about buying him. It was a stupid decision really and I should’ve made sure you were okay with it first.” There goes Bea again with her puppy eyes and charming choice of words. Poppy sighs internally, already feeling like an asshole. She sits next to Bea and rubs her knuckles soothingly, “Well yeah it was pretty stupid…” The brunette raises an eyebrow amusingly. “But...you couldn’t have known, and I thought it was really sweet that you’d want to surprise me like that. Usually I’m the one buying gifts for others.” Bea sits up straighter feeling a little overwhelmed but wraps her arms around Poppy’s waist, leaning her head on her shoulder. They sat in comfortable silence until the brunette spoke up again, her voice nearly a whisper, “...does this mean we get to keep him?”

 The blonde scoffs loudly but glances over at the cage, her eyes softening just a little bit. She looks down at her girlfriend who seems to have been watching her this whole time. Poppy feels her face start to heat up but for all the right reasons. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to having one of...those. But if you really want me to try then I will.” It was definitely worth it to see Bea’s face beam with joy, she kisses Poppy on the cheek with excitement, “Babe you won’t regret it! And.. if it doesn’t work out then we can always give him a better home okay?” The blonde watches her girlfriend’s eyes sparkle brightly and she can’t help but mirror her smile,“Okay”.

 Bea reaches for the cage and sets it on her lap. She doesn’t take the gerbil out just yet, wanting Poppy to get comfortable with it in her presence. She watches different stages of emotions make its way across the blonde’s face before she relaxes. Poppy looks at her and speaks gently, “have you decided on a name yet?”

 “Well I was hoping we could come up with one together, but after what happened today maybe he can be called….terminator?” 

 Poppy rolls her eyes so far back but lets out a soft laugh, her hair falling softly onto her cheek. When she doesn’t feel Bea brush the strands away she does it herself and watches as Bea observes the little creature. “Okay I change my mind, you’re giving him more attention than me.” The brunette looks up with a sheepish smile but can only stare at Poppy’s loving but teaseful gaze. Of course she has to be a smartass though, “actually did you know that gerbils require your attention on a daily basis, and can develop strong relationships with their owners? Almost sounds like you.” Bea feels the punch in her side before she can see it and pretends to howl in pain. It doesn’t seem to faze poppy though as she smirks at her victim, “keep that up and you will be sleeping in the cage with him.”

 “Oh so you want to lock me up huh?” Bea bites her lip mischievously as she leans into kiss Poppy. Before things can heat up they hear a groan coming from the door. “Ughhh! Of course it had to turn sexual.” Veronica stood with her phone in her hand filming, and a hand over her eyes.

 “VERONICA!”

[chyornaya-vdova]

She's gone, come Over

A collab with panda365 aka @gammacousin

Tony's made a stupid Titkot Challenge on Pepper and wants Bruce to do the same to Natasha. Obviously Nat is not amused and Bruce has to fear for his life.

AO3   ff.net

Tony’s whining again, grumbling in the lab with puffy eyes and a scrappy blanket over his shoulder. He jumps when Banner enters the lab, the door slammed behind him.

“What’d you do? Pepper kicked you out?” Bruce asked, wondering what Tony's done to make Pepper that furious with him.

Tony tried to compose himself, but failed. “Uh nothing. Just a joke. She didn't take it that well…“ He mumbled, looking away from his science bro.

Bruce sighed and held the bridge of his nose. “What did you do?“ Sure, it wasn't the first time this happened, but Pepper sounded more angry than usual when it came to Tony's shenanigans. And he should know, he was an expert when it came to anger.

“You know the latest app all the kids are using?“ Tony explained with a flourishing hand gesture “I tried one of the trends out. Didn’t end well.”

“And?”

“Annnd I texted Pepper a minute after she walked out the door and said ‘okay she’s gone, you can come over now’. And I waited.“

Bruce sighed again, long and deep. He could already guess what happened next. What did Tony expect to happen? That she won't be furious and won't throw him out? He held his forehead and thought about what he should say. This was just too ridiculous.

“You know how her nose twitches when she’s mad?” Said Tony, before he could think of anything to say.

“No.” Was all he could say in that moment.

“Well! It was twitching!”

“Is that really important right now…?“ He mumbled, not getting out of the sighing circle anytime soon.

Tony was supposed to be smart and then he did something as stupid as this. When Bruce looked at his friend again, he knew something bad would happen soon. Tony had this weird look on his face. As if he had a stupid idea that'll bring them into lots of trouble.

“No.“ Said Bruce before Tony could vocalize out his idea.

“I haven't said anything.“

“I said no.“

“What if I dare you? I’ll make a bet!”

He'll regret asking, “What bet…?“

“I’ll give you $500 to put towards your new microscope if you try the trend on Natasha the next time she leaves.”

Banner scoffed and put on his lenses, ready to focus on working, “I don’t have a death wish, thanks anyways.”

“Dude! Bro! Come on…! You have to live-!“

“Yeah! I’d like to.”

“$700…$1,000…eternal bragging rights with the boys? It’s bad luck to keep telling me no.”

“Look, when the time comes where Nat needs to take me down, I don't want it to happen like this, okay?“ Bruce grumbled. As nice as it sounded to have a new microscope, his life was at risk. It's not the same when Pepper's mad. Yes, she was creepy when angry, but Bruce swore to never ever get on Nat's bad side. Ever. And he was quite sure once she 'killed' him, the other guy would be next.

Tony tapped at his knee, jaw twisted in thought. “I’ll bargain with Cap on the next mission! No Hulk. Period. You can science behind the tech screen while we kick butt. Deal?”

Bruce bit his lip so hard it almost bled. He groaned, tugging at his curls frustrated. Before he could answer he needed to look at his options. Would it be really worth it? “I guess it won't matter if I'm dead...”

“If you live it’s an amazing story.”

He whipped around and counted on his fingers. “No Hulk on the next mission, a brand new microscope, and $50,000 down on a new house for Nat and I.”

Tony was visibly cringing. “Shi-rrr. Sure. Dang you’re expensive upkeep! One condition- this is all recorded via the security tapes for my viewing pleasure later. Okay? Deal?“

He already knew why Tony wanted it recorded. “You're gonna put the footage on YouTube and this children’s app, aren’t you?“ He asked, sighing once again.

“Nooooo, of course not! Who do you think I am?“ A liar. That's what he was.

Bruce hesitated for a few more minutes, weighing all his options again. Maybe if he already had the house, she probably, hopefully would be less pissed? He was thinking about surprising her with it anyway, so why not use it as a method to prevent his imminent death. Bruce sighed. “Okay. Deal.“ He already regretted it...

-------------------------------------------------

Natasha suiting up for an errand always took twenty minutes. She’s lingering in the hallway and strapped on her gear and a knife in a secret holster.

She yelled with her short hair bouncing, “Bruce! I’m getting sandwiches for lunch, what do you want?”

“Is the salami going to threaten your life?”

He pointed to her holster.

She smirked, tugging her belt a little tighter and reached for the keys, “Not if I kill him first.”

“Where are you going?”

“Whatever I see first. Tony's paying of course.“ Said the redhead, as she held up Tony's credit that she kept stealing from him.

“How-? You’re going to get caught one of these days.”

“I’m a spy, Vrach.” And it's not like Tony made it difficult for her. It was easier than stealing a lolly from a baby.

Bruce rolls his eyes, looking her over with a thought. “Do you have your phone on you?”

She tapped her side. “Yep. Should I text you where I end up? Can you text me your order?”

Bruce smirked, already trying to hide his evil thoughts and the unhinged nerves that accompanied it. “Yep! Sounds great!”

Natasha made sure she had everything she needed, before kissing Bruce's cheek. “Okay, I'm off.“ Bruce gave her a little wave, as she left.

He bit his cheek and watched and waited. Maybe if he lingered a bit longer she’d be halfway to pick up their lunch. He’d have a full half hour to prepare for the explosion.

Or maybe Natasha would just laugh it off...find amusement in the prank. Heck, she lives with a bunch of guys. She’s used to this...right?

“R.I.P, me...” Bruce reached for the phone, tapped his messages and clicked her name. He typed quickly;

‘She just left. You can come over.’

As he hit the 'send' button he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Now he had to wait...

He stood and dropped his phone back onto the table and circled around to head to his private office. He lifted a hand to the door handle and heard the sound of screeching tires pulling back up to the tower. Someone was driving recklessly. Dangerous considering New York streets. He entered his office and swung the door lazily closed. It sprung back open and hit the wall, forcefully. Almost as loud as the screech that followed...almost.

“Robert Bruce Banner!”

He cringed and looked up, trying to play innocent. The green shade in her eyes and the blush on her cheeks did nothing to help the situation.

Natasha stood there, his phone in her hand with her pupils the size of full on quarters.

“What. The. Hell?!“

“Uh-”

He couldn’t get a word in. She was talking again. “Who’s ‘she’?! ‘She’ who?!”

“She uh.. “ he stuttered, English shipping his mind. “She you.”

Natasha lifted her eyebrows. “Me. So I left and you thought it would be a good idea to call over your, what, your other girlfriend?!”

“I don’t have another girlfriend-“

“Did you realize you were texting me?! Who were you trying to text?!“

“Well, uh...“

“Give me your phone!” She dropped her head and charged like a bull, searching his pockets like an unhinged rabid animal.

“Natasha!” He squirmed away, receiving a slap to his shoulder in the process. “Ow!”

She screamed, pivoting. She dropped her own device in her circle, scrambling to locate his device. “Where did you put it?!”

“Natasha!” He followed her down the hall, finding just the slightest amusement in her demeanor. If she wasn’t a trained killer, unraveling his significant other might have a bit of play to it.

She slammed her hand on the table and lifted his phone, her lip trembling as she went off in a mumbled Russian. Bruce would prefer the screaming to the whispers. He knew she could hurl a knife in his direction at any moment with just the flick of her wrist.

“Betty?! Were you trying to text Betty?! You texted Betty, didn't you?!”

He looked at her, softly and kindly, trying to take a seat at the table she was hunched over at, frantic with his phone in her hand.

“Hey, honey-“

“Don’t you honey me! You’ll answer the damn question!”

“Okay, okay!” He lifted his hands in surrender. “Easy! Just take it easy.”

…there’s the knife. An inch away from his throat. Natasha held her frown, immovable in her position. “Answer. The. Question.“ She growled at him and it was pretty frightening.

“I will. I will. Let's talk, okay?” He managed to squeak out.

Romanoff glared at him for a few more seconds, before tucking her blade and hurled it at the wall, shattering a glass in the process. She forced a grin and dropped his phone. “Okay, let’s talk…”

“It was a bet, Nat.“ he grinned nervously, “I didn’t, mean to-.“

“Tony? Was it Tony? It was Tony, wasn’t it.”

“Nat. We’re just talking.”

Natasha tugged her jacket in a huff, standing a bit straighter with her same intimidating eye contact. Her jaw was tight, no doubt grinding his heart against her molars.

“It was a prank- that’s it.“ He reassured her as honestly as possible.

Her head tilted, an eyebrow raised. It was crystal clear that she didn't believe a word he said. “Really. That’s it?”

“I might’ve. Well I might’ve...”

“Talk, Robert!”

“I made a bet! Alright? I made a bet with Tony.”

She crossed her arms, her death glare was still there. “With Tony.”

“With Tony…it was a big bet.”

“Did you gamble away a kidney?”

“No…just...listen-“

“I am listening!” She hissed impatiently. Yes, he understood, she just wanted him to get to the point.

He looked up, those bright puppy dog eyes she would like to tear out at that moment, “Without cutting me off?”

Natasha walked over to her knife, took it down with a huff, and sat back at the table with a boot on the chair. With her fingers running along the blade she nodded ever so slightly.

“I’m going to die...” He mumbled to himself.

She nodded again, still staring at the knife. “We'll see. I'll be the judge of that.“ Nat answered, who obviously heard his mumbling. It was true, though. His life was in her heavily armed hands. It's usually a good thing, but he's never been on the receiving end before...

He laid his hands on the table. “Alright. First of all, there is no other girlfriend. Just you. You’re my everything.”

Natasha snorted with sarcastic laughter, again not believing anything he said. “Listen! Please. I made a bet with Tony, for us. For you and me. He was being stupid, he wanted me to do something equally stupid, so I said I would if he gave me $50,000.”

Now she looked up from her knife with a raised eyebrow.

“For a house! Tasha! Put away the judgement for ten minutes, I swear you can cut me open when I’m done talking.“ He sighed and crossed his arms. “It was supposed to be a surprise.”

Natasha looked back down at the knife in her hands. A few seconds ticked by. A minute. A very long and agonizing minute. “And that...that’s worth giving me a heart attack?”

“Well, uh…“ It kinda was, since now they had the house, but he still feared for his life and half lied to her instead. “No. No it’s not. I'm sorry.”

“This wasn’t funny.“ She scolded. Of course she was right. He knew it from the beginning.

“It wasn't.“ He agreed immediately. “Forgive me?”

She kicked the chair in front of her, still glaring. “I need a ten foot radius for the next 48 hours.”

“Sooo, I’m not forgiven.”

“I’ll think about it.” She reached back for her keys. “You never told me what you wanted for lunch.”

“Oh. Yeah. Well if you’re going to-”

“No no. You’re going with me. You obviously need to be supervised since apparently you can’t behave when I’m not around.” She scolded as if he's a little kid.

“It was a stupid prank!”

“Stupidity has its consequences. Get in the car.” Natasha turned around to go outside, but he wasn't quite done with her.

“Nat?“ She stopped and just looked at him over her shoulder. “Let's hug it out?“

“Ten foot radius.“ She reminded him, but he wasn't having any of it. Bruce opened his arms and gave her his best puppy look. The redhead glared at him and they stood there for a few seconds. Then, she eventually gave up and came back to hug him. Bruce wrapped his arms tightly around her, holding her as close as physically possible. “You're still not off the hook.“

“I know. You can punish me all you want. I deserve it.“

“You sure as hell do. You have five seconds left.“ Bruce listened as she counted from five downwards and only let go when she reached one.

“I love you, Nat.“ He said, but she answered with something he should've expected but honestly didn't in this situation.

“You're a dork.“ Natasha turned around to leave the room and on her way she waved at him to follow her, which he did.

“Well, I heard chicks dig that.” He couldn't help but reply, which earned him a slap on his arm, this time more gentle than before.

[bionerd2point0]

Congrats on your milestone! I would absolutely love Jason and daemon au (mostly I want to see what you would give him haha) if you don’t know anything about daemons (it might be too specific) then I would honestly love Jason with anything! Omega Jason maybe? Or reverse Robin Jason? Or anything 😊

Last, but certainly not least, Bear!! I freely admit that I knew nothing about daemons prior to this, but after looking them up on fanlore and reading some of the details, I'm really taken by the idea?! Like, it sounds kinda like a witch's familiar (but often without the magic) and I really wanted to try my hand at it, so here is my attempt. XD I hope you like it!

(CW: canon-typical violent, blood, and a wee bit o’ death)

-

The worst part about coming back was that part of Jason had been left behind. His earliest memories had featured Maya. A kitten, a puppy, a turtle, a little songbird, she'd cycled through practically the entire animal kingdom in his childhood, and hadn't settled into her final form before his death.

Not knowing what she might have been, that he'd have to live without her, hurt worse than knowing Bruce had replaced him. He'd learned quickly that the ache in his chest was there to stay, a constant reminder that he was trapped in this world without his very soul.

Talia had egged him on, tried to direct his anger and pain at Bruce, and it had worked--for a time. But the hurt was bigger than the anger, and he’d been quick to abandon Talia’s plan once he was in Gotham. No big, elaborate plot for vengeance and approval would bring back Maya. 

No, the best thing he could do was show that fucking clown exactly what it meant to hurt. 

That was why he was walking the halls of Arkham in a guard’s uniform. It’d been painfully easy to slip his name on the roster, even more so to get assigned to Joker’s wing. No one liked walking rounds with that godawful laughter in the background. 

Joker’s daemon was some kind of rabid ferret or something, locked up at a black site that didn’t matter, because not once in the fifteen years Joker’s been active had he gone searching for the poor thing. How anyone could survive the separation pain didn’t, well, have a soul. Clearly.

He keyed in the code to unlock the cell, pushing open the door when the buzzer sounded. 

Joker looked up from where he was chained to the wall, straight jacket firmly in place. That haunting fucking smile split his face. “Well, well, well. What’s this? Somebody pay to get me out already?”

Jason pulled out his gun, checking to make sure there was a round in the chamber. “No.” 

He raised the gun, carefully aimed, and fired. 

The shot was loud in the tiny room, but not as loud as Joker’s shout, which quickly turned to laughter.

“Wow oh wow! You’re sure not one to play around.” He hissed, panting through clenched teeth as blood drenched the front of his pants, femoral artery severed by the shot. “I gotta know, what’s your game here? Huh? Most people don’t jump the gun that fast.” He laughed at his own joke, but Jason ignored him.

Holstering his gun, he pulled out his favorite knife. “No game. You die, and everyone will be so occupied with wondering who killed you that they’ll forget to care that you died.”

Joker scowled at him, beginning to understand that Jason wasn’t here to play games. It was a bit too late, though. The blood loss already had the clown sagging back against the wall. “And what did I... do to you? What made me your personal vendetta?” He smiled, like Jason would ever dedicate his life to the fucker.

“You didn’t make sure I stayed dead.” He waited just long enough for confusion to flit across Joker’s face, then plunged the knife through his heart.

The world erupted around them, exploding in black shadows that howled in agony, sending Jason to his knees with his hands clamped over his ears. What in seven hells?!

The storm stopped as suddenly as it started, leaving Jason in an empty cell with a dead body. Or, well, maybe not as empty as he thought. 

He jumped to his feet, pulling out his gun as he registered the massive wolf standing next to him. It was a daemon, that much was certain, unless someone had managed to clone dire wolves back into existence. The real question was who it belonged to.

Taking a risk, he glanced out the door, but no one was approaching.

Hoping the daemon could be reasoned with, he straightened up to his full height, eyes level with the wolf’s. “Get on out of here, you don’t wanna stick around for this.”

The wolf’s eyes turned sad. “Oh, little one. I think I do.”

A warm feeling filled his chest, and--

He sucked in a breath. His heart wasn’t hurting.

The gun slipped from his fingers, tumbling to the floor a second before his knees gave out. “M-maya?” His voice broke, and whatever façade of control he had fell apart when the soothing wash of calm came from the daemon.

“Hush, sweet one. I am here.” She stepped forward, nosing at his face and licking away the tears streaming down his cheeks as he buried his hands in her fur. “We were kept apart, but no more. It’s alright,” she rumbled, letting him bury his face in her neck.

“I thought you were going to be a cat,” he choked out, not able to put the more important things into words.

Warm amusement flowed through him. “I might have been, in another life. But wolves are better suited for protecting their pups, aren’t they?”

Jason pulled back, so deliriously happy he didn’t know what to do with himself. “I’m not much of a pup any more.”

She chuffed, nipping at his ear. “You are my pup, and there’s nothing that can change that. Now come, I believe there are better places to spend our time.”

Snorting, he glanced over at Joker’s cooling body. “What? Don’t like the scenery?”

She leveled him a look that was so familiar it hurt. “I’d much prefer to see where you’re living. I’ve spent too long stuck with that leech.”

There was so much disdain in the word that Jason decided not to ask. He collected his gun and knife, giving it a cursory wipe on his pants, then twisted his fingers through her fur to led them through the facility and all the cameras he’d looped.

“I missed you,” he confessed, voice soft and quiet.

“I missed you too.” It sounded like a promise and a reassurance all at once. She’d missed him while they were separated, but she would never miss him again. Barely contained violence rested just under the surface, a promise to anyone who tried to keep them apart. 

Jason almost wanted to see someone try.

[jokerfan99]

Rabid Animal by Necroceph

All is silence and empty in the slums of Mistral. No people walking by, no wind blowing over the decrepit buildings, just dead empty silence saved for one person. A girl with two swords hanging at her hip. She's all alone, walking to an unspecified destination. A very vunerable position for a young girl to be all alone. But underneath her kasa, there is no sign of fear on her and those swords she carries might not be for show. One's a standard katana with a purple sheathe. The other, words can't describe what the hell it is, looks like a black cleaver with a pistol grip. Looks a lot like something a Huntsman would use. Not sure whether it's hers or she just loot it from a corpse.

To her right, she noticed a screen poster on a wall. Quite surprising to see this tech in such a downtrodden area. The screen shows a missing person's poster. The title reads; "MISSING: HAVE YOU SEEN THIS GIRL?" in all capitals. And below the title is a picture of a very well known figure in Remnant. A brunette Faunus with cat ears with her name at the bottom. Blake Belladonna. She looked at the picture coldly before turning away from it. Footsteps caught her attention, she turned to see two men in her path, armed with swords. Like her they are wearing kasas to obscure their identities. Though one of them has an Atlesian Knight left arm fitted as a prosthetic. It has a SDC company logo on the hand.

"Well well well. Looks like we got ourselves a stray here, boys." said the metal armed man.

She hears more footsteps behind and turned to see another two armed men. They have surrounded the girl, which is not good.

"What's you're hurry honey, don't you wanna party?" said the one with the fukaamigasa.

"Careful, she's got blades." The skinny one said with caution.

"Probably just to scare us folk, like all the rest."

"I wouldn't go into that conclusion yet friend." the metal armed man turned to the girl. "You must be lost lady. Didn't your Mama teach ya not to go out alone around here or did she just throw you out 'cause there's too much mouths to feed?"

The girl didn't respond. She stood still at ease. The metal armed is a little infuriated by her silence. These kinds of people try to act as if they have the confidence to outclass him and the boys, who are trained killers. It is an insult you. But he still keeps his cool. He scans her character. Talk about a pretty build she got there, enough to turn a man on at the sight. She's also a Faunus, thanks to her ears poking out of her kasa. The man can't help but look at her physique despite his racist thoughts telling him to just beat the crap out of her. But he reminds himself that business before pleasure comes first

"For a dirty Faunus, you're one hell of a ho. Someone will pay a hefty price to have that fine body of yours. It's a shame we can't spoil you or else they'll decrease the price."

"How much do you think they'll pay her?" the skinny one said.

"Six, maybe eight hundred thousand lien for that body." one of them replied.

"We'll just have to find out." The metal armed one draws his sword and points it toward at her face. "Don't make this hard on yourself little kitty and come with us quitely. I know just the place where we can 'discuss' your future."

"Tell your buyers to increase the price... so that you can get a new right arm." Finally the girl broke her silence in a cold and stoic demeanor. Her response wiped the smile of the metal armed punk's face.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY?"

The rest of the gang draw their swords at her.

"You got some balls." you can hear the anger seering from his clench teeth "Belittling your disbabled better with one good arm! You'll know what it feels once I cut one of yours!"

"Hey, boss what about the mon-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND SKIN THIS DIRTY ANIMAL!"

The gang draw their swords and charged at her with swords raised to slash their victim. The girl just stood her ground despite her hopeless situation. But as they reach a sword's length, the girl grabs the hilt of the katana, draws it out and performs the counterattack by slashing them one by one with her blade. The move was instantaneous as it looks like she just killed them in just one fell swoop. The gang didn't had time to dodge it nor raise their auras. Blood spurts out from their bodies as they tumble down to the ground, all but one. The metal armed man still stands, grabbing where his only good arm should be for it is now lying on the ground beside his feet. He looks at the girl, who's kasa had flew off when she attacked and got a good look at her face. He eyes widen for he had recognized that face somewhere. It cannot be. Her?!

"You... you're that girl... you're from the White Paw. What the hell man? I thought you wanted... your filthy kind to make peace with us... but instead you kill me and my men... humans... in cold blood. I was right... you're just animals. GAKH! Oh gods no..."

He looked down to see a blade pierced through his chest and through the back. The girl pulled out the blade, letting the blood pour out off the man so that he can die a slow merciless death as he collapse. A fitting fate for a rascist like him.

"You're right." The girl said as she sheathes her katana. "I am an animal."

With her assailants dead, she can now continue with her destination. But not before getting herself a dinner. She spots the metal armed guy's severed hand, it should suffice for now until she finds a larger meal. As she picks it up, a sound caught her attention which almost made her draw out her sword again. Near a dark alley, she sees a black cat jumped out of a dumpster and between its fangs is a motionless rat who'll be its dinner soon. The cat turns its sight to the girl, who too stares back at it. They looked at each other, examining themselves. The feline isn't gazing at her not by fear nor threat, but by respect, for it can see what she is behind her hidden amber eyes. She too is a predator. And there's no going back after becoming one.

A/N: Played Kenshi lately. Made me inspired to draw this piece out

Deviantart: https://www.deviantart.com/necroceph

[writingkitten]

L!Joker x Reader: Dogs

Note: pure fluff, v short, and super inspired by a post I saw awhile back about the three (? I think three) Rottweilers being loyal to J and all that. Also I’ve been busy working on this other project that I kinda let this one have not-as-great quality, but it was cute so there. Double also, pls forgive formatting, both the shitty paragraph spacing and the lack of italics. Tumblr fucked up the format and I don’t feel like fixing it lmao

Warnings: like, swear words? And some graphic descriptions of violence? But that’s it, not too sinful

In the dwindling hours of the day, dusk heavy on the horizon, you trudged home. Exhaustion plagued your body, the frigid air and harsh winds further driving your desire to get home. It wasn’t far from your work, only a few blocks, but it was on days like this that you cursed yourself for not taking a car. Even the thick mauve sweatshirt you wore couldn’t keep the cold away.

You had been out since 8am, almost 10 hours ago by now. Your throbbing head told you that cooking dinner tonight was a no-go, and so you’d stopped to pick up some warm comfort food. A treat for you, and a nice little surprise for J.

He’d been away all day yesterday, leaving before dawn and never returning. It did worry you a bit, but J had disappeared for much longer in the past, either running a scheme for days on end, or staying at his other hideout — an abandoned warehouse just outside of the city limits — to avoid leading whoever was after him this time back to you. Still, you worried, your mind racing with every bad thing that could’ve happened, like a kid whose mother was taking too long at the store. J knew this, though he continuously tried to convince you he would always come back. He knew your anxiety was far too engrained into your very being to not imagine the worst case scenario, but he still tried, if for no other reason than the hope that his constant reminder would dig itself deeper into your psyche than the anxiety.

But that had yet to happen, and so J had taken to other means of calming you. Keeping you informed was first and foremost. He’d call to tell you where he was, or text if he was in a rather boring meeting with mob bosses. He’d perfected the art of maintaining eye contact and taking part in the particulars of the conversation, while simultaneously writing a text with his phone under the table. Always a new phone, always a new number, but he had yours memorized, and you knew who it was when a message from an unknown number popped up.

That’s why, despite the apartment being empty when you left this morning, you knew he was there, waiting. It had only been about ten minutes since you’d left, so, by the time you headed home, he’d been there all day. Alone. You hoped he had caught up on his sleep, but you knew him better than that. You knew he was too bored sleeping alone, as wild of a concept as that seemed. No, instead you’d probably come home to see parts of makeshift weapons on the coffee table, or maybe the kitchen torn apart like a rabid raccoon had broken in.

At least he’d be home, you thought.

Finally standing in front of your door, you couldn’t unlock it fast enough, your feet aching, begging to be given some reprieve.

“J?” you called out as you entered.

You heard him say something, his voice too quiet to make out anything legible. Just as you were about to ask what he’d said, a massive black form sprinted towards you. Screaming, you dropped the bag of food on the floor, holding your hands out to stop whatever it was.

You eyes were screwed shut, but nothing happened. At least, not what you expected. Instead, you felt something prop itself on your shoulders. Hot breath hit your face, smelling of peanut butter. If that hadn’t given it away, the hassling sure as hell did.

Opening your eyes, you were met with the dark glassy eyes of a Rottweiler, standing on his hind legs, front paws gripping your shoulder.

J said something, this time louder, though you still didn’t hear him through your shock. The dog jumped down and ran back to the living room.

Ripping yourself from the frozen stance that you had been put you had been stuck in, you followed the Rottweiler.

On the floor sat J, his coat and blazer off, sleeves rolled up. There were strange stains on his pants. Peanut butter. Several dog toys lay around him, and two giant buckets of dry food and water sat in the corner. Most surprising, however, were the two other dogs that sat next to him.

J hadn’t looked up to greet you, busy filling some kongs full of peanut butter, seemingly the only treat he had for them.

“Uh, J?” you said, mouth agape at the sight.

“Hiya, doll,” he said, finally looking up at you, “I like that color on you.”

You had no idea what has happening, you didn’t know how to react. All you could really do was laugh.

“What the fuck is happening?” you asked.

“Uh, peanut butter time?” he said, as if it was obvious.

“J, why are there three massive dogs in our apartment?”

J sighed dramatically, “Well, I was just attending a little meeting with the Russian guy. And, wouldn’t you know, somehow he got locked up in their cages, and they just ripped off his limbs and ate him! Really fuckin’ weird cowinky-dink.”

Your eyes widened, “You fed him to his own dogs?”

J looked up at you in disbelief, “Didn’t ya listen to the story, doll?”

“Right, because you’re known for telling the truth.”

J growled, “...I’ll feed you to the dogs.”

“Ha,” you said, knowing full well that J would rather feed himself to the three than put your life on the line.

You left J on the floor as he passed out the stuffed kongs, taking the food out of the bag and setting it up on the table. Well, you were, until J turned around and watched you with an eyebrow raised.

“Uh, doll, I’m eating with them,” he said, as if it were obvious.

“...What.”

What the hell is happening?

“I’m building trust with these guys, I gotta show ‘em that not everyone is an abusive prick.”

You were silent for a moment, staring at J. Compassion was not a common experience to have with him, at least, not for other people. Towards you? He was very compassionate, even if he showed it in his own gruff way. But anyone else was lucky if they didn’t get the business end of J’s blade shoved through their throat.

Then again, that was still the case. He hated people, despised their selfishness and callousness, especially after experiencing that evil when he was still young and innocent. But animals? They were pure, only acting on nature with no societal influences. They were loyal as long as you were loyal to them, something that couldn’t be said for many people. That was one of the things he liked about you, your loyalty. You knew what he did, even if you didn’t know specifics. You knew he killed people, tortured them, destroyed the city and disrupted “society”. Yet you stood by him, loving him without question. Why you did, he’d never fully understand. But you did.

Instead of just bringing J his food, you brought your own, as well.

“I still wanna eat dinner with you,” you said, sitting down next to him.

“Aww,” J said, his voice mocking.

As soon as the containers were opened, the dogs abandoned their treats and sat around the two of you. Their eyes bored into you, pleading for a bite. Having all three of them up close now, you could see their bones, and thick scars that broke through their fur.

J tossed food at each of them, all three catching it mid-air.

“Good boys,” he said, reaching out to them and scratching around their face and neck.

“So, I assume they’re yours now?” you asked as you ate.

“Ours, bunny. They’re guard dogs, they’ll protect ya from, uh...bad guys.”

“Like you?” you asked with a smirk.

He grabbed his chest, feigning pain, “Shot to the heart, doll!”

———

After dinner — which J pretty much ate as much of as the rottys, giving them most of his food — you showered and got ready for bed, too tired to stay awake any longer. J stayed in the living room, working on a new idea, and, you had assumed, training the dogs. However, it seemed as though he was testing them now that you were home. Everywhere you went, you had three massive shadows following you. They stayed in the bathroom while you showered, laying next to the door, watching you. It felt as though they were ready to both protect you from an intruder, and come to your aid if you slipped and fell.

J couldn’t have trained them that much by now...right?

Once out, they practically escorted you to your bedroom. You got in bed, laying on your usual side. The three followed suit, taking up J’s space. One snuggled up by your feet, resting his head on your legs, staring up at you, while the other two did their best the lick your face. After the first few swipes, your face had practically been rewashed.

You laughed as they licked, “Oh, you’re so sweet! Thank you, thank you! Sweet babies!”

“So, am I gonna have to actually sleep in the dog house, now?”

J stood in the doorway, watching you laugh and love on the dogs. He mouth twitched, a quick smirk gracing his features when he saw the look of pure happiness on your face. It wasn’t something he got to see often, most of the time your happiness being qualified by some cloud of negativity. Depression, anxiety, self-loathing...it was a welcomed sight to see your unhindered smile.

He said a quick command, something in Russian that you couldn’t understand, and the dogs jumped off the bed. It was only then that you noticed three massive dog beds lining the wall next to yours.

“They’re so sweet,” you said to J, watching them curl up, getting as close together as possible.

“Yeah,” he drawled, climbing into bed beside you, “that guy got what he fuckin’ deserved. He kept them hungry, beat them, locked in cages too small for ‘em...”

You could see the anger rising in J’s eyes, his jaw clenching with malice as he stewed in his thoughts.

You reached out and took his hand, “They’ll have a good life now, J. We’ll spoil them.”

J looked over to you, “You know, that one that was at your feet was actually a service dog. Saw it in the papers the Russian kept. He’s trained for depression and anxiety.”

You perked up, “Wait, so I can take him around with me?”

“I’d want you to take all three, in case someone wanted to mess with ya and I wasn’t around. Bu-t you can have him with you at work and all that.”

The thought of having a dog to stay by your side at all times — and two more to come home to — was already making the knowledge of J leaving again much more bearable. That night, you fell asleep wrapped in J’s arms, him squeezing you far too tight to his chest as always, feeling invincible with your boys by your side.

[thebestestboyo]

Based on @loveceit 's P!ATD Prompts!

"I lost a bet to a guy in a chiffon chiffon skirt."

Or

As I like it call it:

How Remus Ended Up Working For Patton

Masterpost

(Warning of: Drug mentions/alcohol/drinking, Remus making bad decisions)

(if I need to tag anything else, please do tell me)

As the resident disaster man of the Driftwood apartments, it was common for him to come stumbling into the complex at insane times of night and early morning, out doing who knows what. Remus himself only remembers half of his ventures, often told to him by his roommate Vee, or known by most, Virgil.

Most times, he'd come home around two in the morning. Four was much more rare. And very occasionally, he'd show up at nine, passed out in front of the door, due to him being so exhausted that he couldn't even take his keys out. But no matter what he did, or how long he stayed out, he'd always come back. While it was always followed with a killer headache and potentially some injuries, he always came home. Sorta like a stray cat that you're not really sure exists when you aren't looking at it.

Yeah. He was that kind of person.

At this point, Vee was just focused on making sure he made it back in one piece. The two of them had been friends longer than either of them could ever remember, and if Virgil had to babysit Remus sometimes, it wasn't as if it was anything out of the ordinary.

So, when he had the time (and the patience), he'd go out with him, mostly to make sure he didn't pick too many fights with the gangs or their city. Downtown especially was the worst place to be when it was dark out, they were like hyenas, just waiting for someone to set them off. Vee kept him out of that area, and usually, back by eleven if he was lucky.

As much as Remus loved his childhood friend, the fact that he needed someone to look after him often rubbed Ree the wrong way. He was an adult after all, he should be able to keep himself out of trouble well enough right?

Wrong.

Now, it wasn't as if Remus didn't know that it was dangerous, but this particular night, he just didn't care. Pent up from work and needing to go out somewhere, he struck up all his usual places to unwind, but nothing was working like it usually did. Not even the weird scientist's lab on 24th Street! And he let Remus play with pig intestines! That usually always cheered him up!

So, like any force of nature, Remus decided to head downtown. He knew Vee thought it was dangerous going this late, but it wasn't like Remus was drunk or anything! And Virgil wasn't home either! So if he got back home ok, he'd never know!

These thoughts were what kept him from internally combusting (an interesting thought, Ree wondered what it would feel like) over the idea that Virgil would be worried about him doing this. It was flawed logic, but he wasn't exactly known for his straightforward thinking.

His attention was drawn almost immediately to the bright, dizzying lights of a bar, the neon sign spelling out 'What Do We Have Beer?' It was cheesy, and stupid, and yet, he couldn't NOT stop at a place that had a pun right in the title!

Stepping in, he didn't flinch at the reek of alcohol, nor the too-loud thump of the bass at the edge of the dancefloor, and not even the people practically eating each other's faces off in the dim corners of the bar. What did catch his eye, was a curly-haired man sitting on one of the edges of a table, his eyes closed as he listened to the music.

Now on any other day, he wouldn't have been drawn to this man. On any other day, he'd have probably looked past him to go cause havoc on the dancefloor, or sip something much too strong for him at the bar. And yet, today wasn't a typical day. So, he indulged himself in this man's company.

That was his first mistake.

The guy didn't open his eyes at Remus's approach, too enraptured in the music, which gave Ree plenty of time to take his image in. He seemed out of place in this loud club, his skirt, what Remus assumed to be chiffon (if Vee's fashion rambling served him correct), flowed down to his knees, while his sweater was clearly handmade, as evident from the several loose stitches in the material. It was odd, seeing someone so innocent-seeming in this sort've place. Though, Remus had seen much more naive-looking people in clubs, going nuts for a high.

"Can I help you kiddo?"

It was jarring to hear the guy talk to him, especially with that voice. Why was it so sugary? Who the hell calls a grown man kiddo??? This guy couldn't be older than twenty five! Not that Remus was much older, barely twenty six as it was.

"I'm not sure yet! First time coming here and I'm not exactly amazed." It seemed to Remus like any other nightclub, minus several guards and Remus having sneaked several seagulls in moments before. (Even Dee was impressed by how silent they were until Remus let them go and terrorize the guests.)

"Oh? Is it not intoxicating enough for you?"

"Mm, nah. Mine usually includes more chaos." Remus stared off at the dance floor, before realizing what exactly Patton had said. "Did you just make an alcohol pun?"

"Yep! I'm surprised you heard over the music! It's bass-ically deafening with how loud it is."

This time Remus noticed, laughing as he leaned against the wall next to the guy, intrigued. "You like puns huh?"

"How pun-ctual of you to notice!"

"So what's a bunny rabbit like you doing with a bunch of pirahnas? This doesn't seem too much like a thing you'd be too into."

"Mm, it's good for a business point of view. Get to know people, you know?"

"Usually my getting to know people ends up with something going haywire, like...oh! Like that one time I got a bucket of squid ink and I was planning on dumping it on this one assbutt's car, but I ended up getting it all over myself instead. So I decided, why waste perfectly good squid ink, and just threw myself into his car instead! Vee made me take a shower before I could touch anything after. "

The guy glanced up at him in confusion, but he wasn't scared off yet, so this was considered a success in Remus's book. "Squid ink?"

"Yeah! My nerdy pal Lo gave it to me! He was studying something or another with squids, and he didn't have any use for it after, so I got it! It dyed my outfit grey!"

This time was even more successful, considering he laughed at Remus's antics, and prompting Ree to continue on his train of thought. "Why was he studying squids?"

"Well, I think it was because squids can change colors, and he wanted to see if that could be replicated. I think it would be more interesting if the tentacles could be grown on humans! Imagine, you could do so much..."

Remembering that this guy didn't even know his name, he elected to change that immediately. "My name's Remus! I should have started with that actually."

"Patton!"

"No! I'm Remus!"

"No, I mean, my name's Patton!" He smiled, giggling again at him. It was almost mesmerizing to listen to, even if it was soft under all the background noise. "Its nice to meet you!"

Remus had to pinch himself to snap out of staring directly at Patton's mouth, enchanted by his smile. "Nice to meet you too. Can I get you a drink?"

"Sure! I know the bartender actually, so we can go together!" Grabbing Remus's arm lightly (and nearly causing to jump at the easy touch), he led him over to the counter, his hand still resting on Ree's arm even when the two of them had sat down. "Can I get a blueberry mocktail please? Remus what do you want?"

"Mm...surprise me."

That was his second mistake.

Remus wasn't exactly sure what was in the drink, but it got him feeling fuzzy, and that's all that mattered. "So how do you know this place?"

"My brother has business deals here, so he started bringing me along sometimes."

"Business deals? What sort've business would have place in a club?"

Stirring his drink with the straw, Pat looked off into the haze of people. "Oh, just normal stuff."

"That's pretty vague Patty."

It was clear he didn't want to talk about it, even as Remus continued to get drunker (despite his previous ideas). "Well, it's boring! I'd rather play a game than talk about business!"

"Aaaaaand what kind of game would that be?"

"A bet."

Nearly snorting his drink in surprise, Remus burst out laughing. "A bet?"

"You heard me!"

"Sorry, it's just-" He gestured to how out of place Patton looked, his eyes glinting with mischief. "What sort've bet were you thinking? Is someone gonna end up puking or attacked by rabid animals by the end of it?"

"Mm, depends on how well you can hold your liquor. I bet you can't beat me in a drinking game. Winner gets to choose his prize."

"You're on."

That was his last mistake.

Remus lost. By a lot. For the guy who ordered a mocktail right off the bat, he definitely wasn't a lightweight.

"I, I gotta say-" Remus was bent with his head against the table to steady himself. "I am surprised!"

Patton was a giggly mess even in spite of winning, leaning into Remus. "Yep! You-" His sentence was cut off by a hiccup, in which caused another fit of giggles. He didn't even seem to notice that his sweater sleeve was slipping off his shoulder, or that he had somehow lost one of his sandals.

Remus sat up dizzily, attempting to fix the sleeve, only to remember too late that his motor skills weren't exactly in the best conditions while drunk, so it was more like Remus fell into Patton instead, causing the two of them to tumble to the ground. It was a good thing that it wasn't too far of a drop, but even so, Remus was pressed into Patton in an awkward position.

A stern voice interrupted the two of them before Remus could get his thick tongue to apologise to Pat, edged with something sharp.

"Patton...what are you doing on the floor with this...man?"

"Oh hey Dee Dee! How was your-" he wiggled his eyes playfully, clearly showing this Dee how drunk he was. "-meeting?"

"It went fine, but I don't think the best use of your time is getting drunk with random men at the club while I'm working."

"He's, not random!" Patton had by now began to play with Remus's hair, not even bothered by the fact that the two of them were still on the floor. "His name is, Reeeemus. He's my new friend! I won him!"

Even though Remus was drunk, he could still tell that it was probably not the right way to explain how they ended up there to this big, probably dangerous guy. He couldn't see much of him considering his head was resting on Pat's chest, but his boots looked awfully nice.

"I like your boots."

This...Dee? Was it Dee? Snapped his attention down to Remus, picking him up easily by the back of his collar. "So you won this...mongrel? In a bet I suppose?"

Pat was too busy trying to grab Remus back to be paying attention, so Remus got a face full of Dee's words. "I suppose he could be useful...fine. You can keep him for now." There was a sudden pinch at Remus's ear, and he could feel something metal dangling from what seemed to be a new piercing??? Wtf???

"You're too drunk right now to be of any use though. Pat do you know where he lives?"

"On a mountainnnnn with fairies and unicorns!"

"Ok so that's a no."

Remus felt he ought to be part of this conversation, considering that this Dee was asking about him, after rudely lifting him up. "Why do you wanna know tall guy?"

"Oh you can still speak. That's good. Tell me where you live and you can go back there to do whatever it is you do to not be drunk."

"I ain't telling you! You don't know it's Driftward....wait that's not right. Driftwand? Drift...drift..."

"Driftwood?"

"Yeah! You don't know it's there! And that's how it's gonna stay!"

Unfortunately, this plan did not go as Remus intended, because sooner than the drop of a hat, he was put in a car along with Pat, driven to his complex, and left out by the entrance. When he tried to look back and see exactly what this Dee guy looked like, he could only see Patton, waving to him drunkenly through the window, before Remus blacked out.

He was having a lovely dream about gore and destruction when a sudden voice caught his attention. Or, well, tried to anyways.

"Remus?"

"Hey, Remus."

The sound was annoying to what he assumed was the beginning of a headache, so he tried to tune it out.

"Remus wake up."

Was it his alarm clock? No...his alarm clock didn't scream his name to wake him up...and it usually didn't sound so pissed off.

"Ree!"

Aaaand now he was awake he supposed. "Yeah...?"

Virgil stood above him, hands on his hips. "Where the fuck were you??? I come home and you aren't here until five hours later? And did you go and get a new piercing? And...throw up on the front step of our apartments?"

His memory was still pretty fuzzy due to how much alcohol he drank, so he seemed just as surprised as Virgil was that he was in this situation. "Hey, quiet down if you could. My head hurtssss."

"Your head wouldn't hurt if you weren't out however late. Seriously though, where were you?"

His hand went to his temple, trying to soothe the pounding in his head. His fingers caught on something jangly, surprising him. "What the-"

It was definitely a new earring. Gently attempting to take it out, he looked at the words on the dangling part, confused. "Who the hell are the Andacondas?"

Virgil stiffened, seeming scared. "Remus, what did you do?"

"I lost a bet to a guy in a chiffon skirt?"