#i am learning and by god I will try my hardest even if it may not be perfect!!

[starteas]

Puppet shenanigans 4: The Puppetting

After two different super glues that didn’t work, contact cement was definitely the way to go! Managed to stick the foam together to make an ill-fitting head.

Unfortunately, unconfident gluing ended up making quite the jagged look.

It will definitely work as a puppet head, just not THE puppet I’m currently trying to make.

Right now, I have some felt that I can drape over this guy to make it work, but I’m honestly a little disappointed that it didn’t end up as oval-shaped as I was hoping it to be.

Still! This is my very first time making a puppet, so I can’t be too upset with myself for still working out the kinks! I’ve still got some foam leftover (and new foam incomin) so I’m hoping that will help any janky scissor lines or unconfident gluing the second time around!

[tiredfox64]

I HAVE BEEN HIT WITH A VISION FROM THE ELDER GODS!

You can see from miles away that Bi Han is touch starved as hellll, im talking STARVING.... so I honestly see that man just feeling turned on from simple kisses. Like, 1 min of kisses, BAM, ready to go! I feel like that intimacy may get him going, since thats a rare thing in his life

This isn't a request for a fic ( unless you want it to be 👀 ) but I am obsessed with Bi Han and I just realised this while drinking my coffee this morning

Just Some Kisses

Prior notes: I fuck with your vision! So I did something short cause how could I not work with that even though this was not originally a request.

Pairing: Bi-Han x Gn reader

Warnings ‼️: Suggestive hehe

You were feeling extra lovey today. Just the sight of your boyfriend made you all giggly and your heart warm up like a cast iron on a hot Arizona day in July. Okay, maybe not that hot but you get the picture. Fresh baked cookies kind of warm. Yeah, that’s better.

You were practically skipping over to Bi-Han’s office where you strolled in all innocently. He didn’t look up but he knew it was you walking in. Usually you would sit next to him or anywhere else in his office when you came to spend time with him. Nope. Today was different. Your seat would be Bi-Han himself.

You came closer to Bi-Han and started straddling his lap. You caught him by surprise. This was the first time you ever did this. He’s not complaining surprisingly.

He was about to question you until he felt your lips on his face. All over his face actually. You were leaving kisses wherever you could as you held his face in a loving manner. His cheeks, forehead, nose, chin, even neck. You didn’t see it but Bi-Han was starting to blush. Awww he likes it.

He didn’t know what to do with his hand. No one has ever done this to him or given him this much attention. His hands were gripping the arms of his chair while you were kissing his neck. You heard him make a low growling noise that you took as a sign of delight. You were right but he was also struggling to contain himself.

When you started making out with him that was the hardest part for Bi-Han. Feeling your soft lips against his was pleasurable torture especially once you slipped your tongue into his mouth. Your hands were feeling him up. One hand was sliding down his chest while the other went to his hair, letting his hair down from its once tight bun. Damn! This felt too fantastic for him. Your fingers running through his hair was the final nail in the coffin. You felt his hands grab onto you and squeezed you gently. He let out a groan before tearing his face away from you.

“What’s wrong? Did I do something?” You asked innocently.

Oh you sure did do something.

Bi-Han pushed you down on his lap more and you finally felt his hard on. How the heck did you miss his bulge?! You saw how embarrassed Bi-Han was. He was all hot and bothered, not very used to being kissed, touched, and loved this much. You didn’t even mean to get him started like this. The man was really struggling to hold himself back. He froze the arms of the chair trying to contain himself. But now that you know…ah fuck it!

With one arm he picked you up while the other arm swept his desk clean of anything. Every paper and writing utensil fell to the ground. He placed you on his desk, pressing himself against you. Now you’re the priority. The work can wait, he can’t. He’s all horned up and ready to go! Don’t make him wait any longer after you teased him like that.

You didn’t even mean it but okay, go off I guess.

Well, hope you have fun—oh my gosh

Oh damn is he gonna pay to fix your clothes?

Wow, i didn’t know you were that flexible!

I’ve never seen that position before WHEN DID HE LEARN THAT?!

You two are making a lot of noise…oh…he wants that…cool.

The desk is squeaking HAVE SOME MERCY!

Woah! Alright! That’s a lot that came out!

You uh…you need a tissue? Or some Bounty paper towels? A towel actually?

He definitely was touched starved, ohhh mighty.

After notes: You spat this vision out at me. I’m more of a tea vision kind of person but coffee visions work too.

[urrockstar-xe]

melodic love - c.m x fem!reader

posted may 8th, 2023 12:14 am

ty @heywardsarchive for helping me with this name it's perfect.

@thatone-deadchick asked: please right chad x goth or metalhead reader there’s like no story like that🙏 i’m surviving off crumbs

okay bare with me, babe, I rlly hope you like this rlly did try my hardest. I had a hard time making this goth-ish but at least i think i captured chad rlly trying to learn about his girl's interests so im a little happy about that, and I also totally assumed you wore lipstick thank you for requesting muah

masterlist

wordcount: 0.7k

Throwing your lipstick in your bag you recognized the pattern of knocks on your door. Chad opened the door, “you really should start locking this,” you smiled, rolling your eyes. “Why would I do that when my big strong jock boyfriend is right here?” you teased, motioning towards the familiar letterman he was wearing. Chad laughed.

“You ready to go?” he looked you up and down with a smile, coming closer to give you a quick kiss, immediately stopped by your hand on his mouth. “liquid lipstick’s still drying” he backed up slightly, nodding as he took your wrist before you had time to lower it, and placed a kiss on the palm of your hand. You tilted your head to the side, “you’re cute” “Thank you, babe” you hummed in response. 

Grabbing your keys, you let your boyfriend lead you out of your dorm before he held his hand out to you, slightly wiggling his fingers for you to hold onto. You did.

“Well, first frat party, you excited?” Chad asked, mindlessly leading you to wherever he was taking you. “Excited to go? Or excited to watch you do a handstand while drinking out of a keg?” you joked, Chad laughed, nudging slightly before responding, “As if I’d trust any of those guys enough to keep me up there” You nodded in agreement, also not trusting any of them to keep your boyfriend from face planting covered in beer. 

“Look, the second you wanna leave? We can, but Tara and Mindy are both gonna be there, and you don’t even have to leave my side”

“Chad, I’m not scared of a bunch of frat boys, I’ll survive one party” 

“Just one?” he looked down at you, a dramatic pout sitting on his lips. 

“That depends on if you decide to wear this to one of my parties” You tugged on his jacket. “It’s my safety blanket,” he shrugged. 

You scoffed, smiling at Chad. “I’m your safety blanket,” 

Chad smiled, nodding his head 

“yeah, you’re right” 

~~~~~~

“Are you listening to the cure?” Chad took out his earbuds at the sound of his sister’s voice, turning to see her standing behind him with her girlfriend. Chad smiled at Anika, getting a wave in return. 

“What? You don’t have a special playlist curated by Anika to show you her music taste?” he teased, earning a scoff from Mindy as she went and sat down by him. Anika leaned on the tree they were sitting under, crossing her arms before speaking “She only listens to my playlists”

“You make the best ones” Mindy countered, smiling at her own girlfriend before looking back at her brother to bring up his. 

“Shouldn’t you know all of these songs by now?” Mindy asked stealing one of the protein bars straight out of Chad’s backpack, 

“Yeah, but I haven’t listened to any of them in god knows how long and I wanna be able to talk to Y/n about it,” he shrugged, 

Mindy fake pouted, “awwwwh, how sweet,” she said in an exaggerated cute tone.

A lopsided grin made its way to Chad’s lips as he rolled his eyes. 

“Shut up,”

~~~~~~

You opened your door revealing your already smiling boyfriend. “Hey there beautiful,” he said, easily moving past you and into your dorm. Closing your door you turned to face him again, “hi,”

He gave you a quick kiss, his excitement cutting the kiss short much to your dismay.

“I brought you something,” Chad happily announced, throwing his bag on your bed before he started rummaging through it. 

You made your way back to your desk, shutting your laptop as you took a seat in the chair.  “Oh yeah? What is it?” you asked, smiling at your boyfriend. He merely hummed a response before finally pulling out a clear cd case, the cd on the inside having “for my girl” written on it in black sharpie. 

“Oh my god, Chad, did you make me a fucking mixtape?” You stood up to get closer as he handed it to you. “What can I say? I’m a little old school,” he smiled, watching you excitedly examine it.

“I tried to pick out music you’d like but I’m gonna be honest, I don’t think any of it is goth.” Chad shrugged, only not scratching the back of his neck because of the hug you pulled him into.

“This is so cute, thank you, babe.” Your voice was slightly muffled by his shoulder, but Chad heard you loud and clear. 

“Glad you like it, beautiful”

[elizabethrobertajones]

"I'm so relieved to have you at my side, my loves," G'raha declared. "The fate of the star was not just in my hands, but yours too, and I cannot say how proud I am of us."

"Even me?" asked Frog, as Erenville rolled his eyes and tried not to look affected by the praise, despite the please twitch of his ears.

"Even you and the Gleaners did your part, Bounding Frog."

Day 5: Alternate Universe | In Another Life

"Oh, I don't think much about alternate universes except joke ones where Frog runs off with the Fuath but there's not like any lore or anything - Oh my god that one time Frog trolled Erenville by pretending to be a new Gleaner." *immediately comes up with 3 pages of backstory*

Anyway meet fucked up Allagan bloodline Erenville, Gleaner Frog and Warrior of Light G'raha :D (I really ought to have made Frog's colour scheme without the pink but it's so much a part of her I forgot it's from her Azem legacy until long after I posed and took the picture :P Really, G'raha should have pink highlights and a pink eye since I only have 1 canon Azem who is the forebear of any WoL in any AU I have and they have the Blessing of Pastel Pink Aesthetics they pass on)

Not a canon relationship as of the current waning days of Endwalker we're in and I can feel Frog trying to kill me with her mind for putting her this close to Erenville because this is currently her Nemesis and I am being a very bad blorbo caretaker by shipping them before plot has elapsed... But Erenville doesn't scare me as much as Y'shtola does so I can get away with it as long as Frog can't become so OP she can reach out of the fourth wall and murder me :P May be a level 100 ability but I hope the narrative gives me an opportunity to set her up with Erenville before then. And of course I ship G'rerenville 5eva.

WoL!G'raha's special interest wouldn't just be Allagan horrors but ALL the horrors and he'd know the most about manipulating aether for combat against primals and how to kill them all. It's joked that Hydaelyn blessed him with the Echo because she wanted to spare him bothering Krile with any more questions and tests and puzzles, and gave him the Blessing of Light so he could go off and do his own research. He made a beeline for the Scions of the Seventh Dawn and became their champion with a try hard attitude and known for his enthusiastic thumbs up whenever tasked with the hardest task.

Erenville diligently and quietly studied all he could on Allagan Horrors to learn what his family's dark secret was, but never made it too well known why he was studying it, or that his one gold one red eyes were anything strange. However, his quiet competence got him sent to Erozea to help Rammbroes, and despite all his attempts to lay low, he found himself there at the unlocking of the Crystal Tower, learning way too much about himself in front of people who couldn't unhear it, and pushed along by an over-enthusiastic Warrior of Light who could not shut up about how great an advantage such a magical connection could be. Still, Erenville is calm and professional and when the time came and he knew there was no other way, he shooed the Sons of St Coinach out of the Tower and looked almost dispassionately over his shoulder to G'raha and bid him farewell.

The Exarch was, of course, 1000x more impenetrably vague and annoying but - and this was rather difficult for the Exarch to handle - the huge dark ears sticking out of his hood did give G'raha a hint about who he may be dealing with, though he suspected all sorts of terrible things like Allagan clone or robot and so on before daring to hope it was truly Erenville - when he realised the plan was to tidily pack himself and the Light away with a minimum of melodrama and fuss. This was mostly because of the extremely intricate plans for running the Crystarium in his absence that Erenville had bequeathed before they left for Mt Gulg. It was all just too like him.

G'raha made a ten times more melodramatic intervention while actively coughing up Light everywhere, but Emet-Selch is going to Emet-Selch and can't stand the Warrior of Light being as big a drama queen as he is so he just shoots Erenville and kidnaps him to the Tempest because he's fed up of G'raha talking and posing. A rescue was mounted, love confessed, everyone forgave everyone and cried a lot etc etc.

Erenville joined the Scions after that and provided a sensible counterpoint, inexplicably becoming close to Alisaie (she reminds him of Wuk Lamat but he still hasn't disclosed an onze of backstory).

When they come to Sharlayan for help to stop the final days, they meet an over-worked but still cheerful Gleaner who can lift a whole Troll over her shoulder, and is very helpful and friendly winking and showing them the secret paths. Of course, Bounding Frog is a born Gleaner - she's loved animals forever and had mapped the whole mountain ecosystem around her home village. Sent to Sharlayan by her parents to study the things she loves, she'd quickly risen through the ranks of the Gleaners to become one of their trustiest hands.

She did see through G'raha hopping around as a frog instantly, and on hearing of the incident Erenville only wryly said "I'm sure I could have played a better toad." This could not be disputed, as Y'shtola refused to cast the spell frivolously to settle their debate.

Frog kept in contact and kept them updated on events in Sharlayan once they left to take the fight to the Telophoroi and kept them updated on the Blasphemies once the final days began; by the time G'raha returned from Elpis having learned of an Azem somehow even more annoying that the most annoying interpretation of Azem you've previously heard of, they had all become very fond of one another. By the time they set off for the stars, G'raha and Erenville had admitted to each other they both had a huge crush on the huge Gleaner, and she in turn was waiting for their return more anxious for them than the entire fate of the star.

And of course once they came back from Ultima Thule, Frog's only problem was working out which one of them to smooch first, before carrying G'raha off somewhere quiet to sit and hug and be extremely relieved and happy together :')

[sarcastic-kai]

Kakashi Hatake headcannons

I copy and pasted this from my wattpad lol since i havent written in a hot second and I feel bad about it :/

•What he's like in the mornings•

Kakashi isn't a morning person. He hates the feeling of being in a deep, peaceful sleep, then having that ruined by his alarm clock or the sharp, unforgiving rays of the sun.

That being said, he always tries his best to be pleasant for you in the mornings, and he usually doesn't have to try very hard because waking up next to you is always worth waking up.

˚˚˚˚˚

You run your fingers through your lover's hair, giggling as the motion only seems to make it more fluffy.

"Darling," you whisper. "It's time to wake up, my love."

A soft grunt leaves Kakashi's lips before he shifts defiantly and rolls to face away from you.

Rolling your eyes, you huff with irritation. Every single morning it seems to be the same routine. Kakashi ignores his alarm, you try to wake him up, he ignores you.

A small, mischievous grin snakes up your lips. Now it's time for your favorite part.

You sit up and shift to kneel beside your husband. Still grinning, you bite back your laughter as you snatch up your pillow, raise it above your head, and swing it down onto his with a loud, "HATAKE YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE!"

The pillow makes contact, followed by a muffled "oof!"

Kakashi sits up, glaring at you as you double over in a fit of snickers and giggles.

Grabbing the pillow, he throws it back at you, hitting you square in the face and sending you rolling off the bed in surprise.

You get up, scowling playfully at Kakashi as he smiles sheepishly at you.

"Oops. I guess I used too much strength."

≈≈≈≈≈

•His favorite date idea•

Kakashi isn't one for over-the-top, grandiose gestures of romance and love. He's more of a laid back, simple outing sort of guy. He's different from a lot of people. While some people are made of  bright bursts of violent vibrance, he is composed of gentle swirls of pastel tones. So while some people may set up an elaborate evening of fancy dining, extravagant entertainment, and romantic candlelit beach walks; Kakashi Hatake prefers to keep it relaxed and fun. His go-to date ideas are either a walk through the village, a stop at Ichiraku, and a movie at his place; or a lazy night in with take out, movies, and lots and lots of cuddles.

˚˚˚˚˚

"Y/n!"

You look up from your homework to see your best friend, f/n, standing in your doorway with their arms crossed and a start expression.

"What're you doing?" They ask, and you wonder why they sound so irritated.

You look at your textbook then back to them. "Uh... homework."

They roll their eyes and point to your phone next to you on the desk.

"Well, dummy, it's 8pm and you said you had an outing with Kakashi at 6:40."

"oh shit!" You jump up, knocking your chair back and snatching your phone off the desk. To your dismay, you scroll through your notifications to see multiple texts from your boyfriend, the last one dating to 20 minutes ago. you bite your lip, guilt and anxiety beginning to grow in your gut.

"Fuck," you mumble, running a hand through your hair. "he's been waiting for so long. Oh god, he probably hates me now."

"Actually, I don't."

You look up to see Kakashi standing behind your friend.

You expression drops, staring at him in shock and dismay. "oh my god..." you whisper.

Coming to your senses, you rush to him, nearly tackling him with a hug. "oh my god, Kakashi! I am so so so sor-"

Before you can finish, he plants a solid, loving kiss to your lips, cutting you off effectively.

Pulling away with a grin, he says, "don't worry about it. I cancelled the reservations because I remembered the big test you have coming up, so I let you study for a little longer. I ordered pizza to my place, and I am ready to walk you over there right now."

≈≈≈≈≈

•When you're sick•

Kakashi is a very gentle, concerned individual. After all he has been through, one of the hardest and more reoccurring lessons he has learned is to cherish those you love, and to take care of them. So when you're sick, he does just that. He spends extra time with you, gives you cuddles, brings you soup, the whole nine yards.

˚˚˚˚˚

"'Kashi..." your throat is horse and quiet, and you barely manage a whisper. But even that amount of effort sends your throat back into its painful, stinging blaze. You let out a whimper, but it quickly turns into a erratic fit of coughs.

The grey haired shinobi leans closer to you from his chair beside your bed, his brows furrowing with concern.

"Hey... y/n... is there anything I can get you? Maybe some cough drops or some tea?" He puts the back of his hand to your sweat-slicked forehead. "You're burning up. Your fever still hasn't gone down."

You try to say 'thank you captain obvious', but it comes out as a raspy, "thank... obvious", as your voice cuts in and out with the effort it takes to speak.

Kakashi seems to get the message though, and his signature mask crinkles in the way that you have learned to detect as his smiling underneath it.

"You're welcome y/n. I'll get you some tea to help your throat, okay?"

You close your eyes and nod, but just as he gets up to leave, you reach out and grasp his sleeve. He turns to look down at you, curious.

You smile up at him weakly. "Read... to me?'

Kakashi stiffens up, and you can see just a hint of a blush creep up his face and around the tops of his cheeks that arent covered by his mask.

"I- I really don't think you want that."

≈≈≈≈≈

•What he's like in bed•

Kakashi can be both a very gentle lover or a very rough one, depending on his (or your) mood. But either way, he is very considerate and very giving. He makes sure to make you feel loved and satiated, littering your body with kisses and showering you with praise.

He's open to a lot of things, and will try anything at least once if you ask him to.

He'll usually last about 1-3 rounds, depending on how wound up he is. He's very... needy after being on a long mission, but he always puts your wants before his own.

He's a king of aftercare. He'll draw you both a bath and massage you, peppering you with kisses and whispering sweet nothings into your shampoo sud-covered hair.

˚˚˚˚˚

You moan against your lovers neck, tightening your grip on his grey locks.

With every shift of his body and roll of his hips, he fills you up, stretching you around his member in the most delicious way imaginable. His thrusts are strong and consistent, hitting your sweet spot every time, driving you to the brink of insanity.

"oh god, 'Kashi," you whimper, moving one arm to wrap around his back and pull him impossibly closer to you. He grunts in response, his hot, labored breaths fanning across your neck and shoulder that he is nestled into.

Without warning he bites your collar, eliciting a sharp gasp and drawled out moan from you as you arch your back, pushing your breasts into his chest.

You can feel him smile against your skin, but you don't pay any attention to that, since all your focus is on your impending release. Kakashi's thrusts increase in speed, only serving to tighten the coil in your lower abdomen. Your entire body is tingling with arousal and lust, and with a few  more thrusts you come undone.

Your entire body tenses up and you cry out in pleasure as your eyes roll to the back of your head and your mind goes blank. Kakashi keeps going, only faltering from his rhythm for a couple thrusts before he finds it again.

You want to tell him to slow down, but nothing comes out of your thoroughly fucked self. Instead, your moans increase in pitch, drawling out into some sort of desperate whine. But if you are whining for more or less, Kakashi can't tell, and you truthfully don't care.

Once your orgasm has finished wrecking your body it winds down, but it is quickly flailed up again by Kakashi's own chase for release. Within seconds your extremely sensitized body is driven to another orgasm, and for a few seconds, you swear you lose consciousness.

Pleasure envelops your entire being, blinding you with its enticing white light. You writhe and scream with bliss, the erotic sensations are like you've ever felt before, they're breath taking.

Once You float down from your high, and your stomach is coated with Kakashi's release, your eyes reluctantly flutter open to gaze up at him.

His grey hair is messy and matted with sweat, falling unusually flat on his gorgeous face.

He grins down at you, before quickly leaning down and kissing you passionately. You smile into the kiss, returning it with a spent effort.

Kakashi pulls away, brushing his knuckles against your face in a loving gesture.

The way he gazes at you, as if you're the most beautiful and precious creature on earth, makes you blush furiously and you cover your face with your arms.

Kakashi chuckles, pulling out of you and running an arm along your side comfortingly.

"Come on, y/n. Let's go get cleaned up."

[asa-do-your-thing]

Fresh Face at Court

Aemond x F!Reader

18+, minors DNI. Smut, praise kink, sexual meet cute i guess?

Your stay in King's Landing was supposed to be brief. Your father - Lord Blacktyde, who had specialized in the trading of old manuscripts - had convinced you to join him on his trip. The court loved to buy all sorts of books and accompanying trinkets from him so he thought it would be the perfect occasion for you to start looking for a husband, as you had just turned sixteen.

It was rather boring, to be frank. Your father had laid out his goods in the library and had let you wander around. Not being acquainted with the grounds of the red keep, you asked the first guard who had crossed your path the way to the gardens. He had duly shown it to you and ran away as quickly as he had come.

It was quiet and lonely. No one was to be seen, so you took out a book from your saddle bag and dove right in. Hours had passed as you snuggled up against a tree and relished the sun's warmth. You didn't notice that you were being watched. Only when hearing someone clearing their throat, you nervously slammed your book shut and glanced around.

Standing a few feet away from you was a tall man with long white, nay, silver hair and a leather eye patch. It must have been one of the Princes, you thought. Which one, you did not know and you cursed yourself for it. "Good afternoon, my Lady", he said calmly. Quickly getting up and dipping into a curtsy, you gave him a shy smile. "Good afternoon, my Prince. I... Uh, Please excuse me, Uhm... I did not notice you, i am so sorry."

His lips lifted into a smirk as he shook his head and picked up your book. "Don't fret. If I may ask, who are you? I haven't seen you in King's Landing before." You blushed even deeper as you took a tiny step towards him, trying to retrieve your book from his grip. It was "How to find & seduce your future Husband" after all and the last thing that you wanted was for him to notice it. "I'm Lord Blacktyde's daughter", you said and saw that he held the book behind his back. Gods be damned, you thought, he didn't want to give it back to you.

He raised an eyebrow and lifted the book above your head, trying his hardest not to get it into your reach. "Hm, that makes sense. What does not make sense, however, is that you do not seem to practice what you have learned. Trying to grab your book from my hands? Not very seductive of you." You blinked a few times before nervously biting your lip. Well, you knew that you couldn't rip it out now, that would've been awkward and childish of you so you devised another plan.

"Well, now that you know what I am reading, my Prince, how could I persuade you to give it back to me?", You stuttered out, barely believing that you managed to say it without melting into a puddle. The mysteriously handsome prince gave you his hand and started leading you back inside the Red Keep. "By showing me what you have learned." Nervously looking around, you tried your best to stall this whole situation. This couldn't be happening! You still had your maidenhead and haven't even kissed a man yet. "I, uh... I.. i haven't...", You tried to say but your feet picked up the prince's pace.

Gently shoving you inside a darkened room, he stretched, like a cat that was ready to pounce on his victim. "You haven't what, my sweet one?", He purred and closed the gap between the two of you. Letting out a nervous sigh, you dropped your head. "I... Don't know your name and I have never done anything and somehow you are making me feel hot and I don't know you-", you babbled. He gently placed his hands under your jaw and pushed your head back up, placing a finger on your shivering lips. "I am Aemond. Do not be afraid - I shall not force you. So if you think that you do not want this, you may leave now. If not... Well, then, be my guest."

Looking up into his serious face made you weak in the knees. It felt like a fever dream so, against all of the feelings of propriety and sensibility, you gently pressed your lips against his finger and gave him a shy smile. "I... Thank you, Ae- Aemond." It seemed like this had flipped a switch in him. His whole facial expression had changed into lust and he did not even wait for a second before undressing you. You could only breath in staccatos - every time his strong, slender fingers had touched you, you thought you would faint.

Sitting on the edge of Aemond's bed, just as the gods made you, you nervously started fiddling with his trousers. Aemond closed his eyes, savoring your gentle touches. "You are doing well, my little one", he moaned and threw the rest of his garments onto the floor gently pushing you into the bed. His encouraging words stoked the fires that were burning within you. Glancing down at his erect member, you involuntary gasped and scooted further up the bed. "Will ... Uhm, will it fit?", You whispered hoarsely, softly caressing it.

Parting your legs, he smiled yet again. "It will, don't you worry." Quickly moistening his finger, he gently opened you up and circled your entrance. Suppressing a moan, you looked up to him and nodded. "Please..." His smile deepened as he pushed his finger into your pulsating hear. "Please what?", He whispered into your ear. You mewled and grabbed a fistful of a pillow. "Please... Don't stop...", You pressed out, feeling your walls clenching against his moving finger. This seemed to encourage him even further as he quickened his pace and gave you a kiss on your sweaty forehead as you came onto him.

"You are such a good girl..." He said as he positioned his member against your wet, throbbing cunt. You nodded again and instinctively tried to push up against him, so that he might enter you. This was all it took for him to go rabid. He pressed his length into you - making you muffle your scream against his muscular shoulder - and rammed you harder with every single thrust.

He bit his lip as he laid his hand over your throat, cutting your air off. "Fuck!" He exclaimed and pressed even harder. You barely had any time to notice what was happening when you felt yourself convulsing, eliciting a small cry. He quickly let you go again and fucked you as roughly as he had started until he tensed up and shot his seed into you.

Collapsing next to you, he let out a small sigh, as did you. A wave of sadness washed over you when you tried to scoot over to him. "Aemond? My Prince?", You asked quietly, half afraid to face him again after this shameful act. To your utmost surprise, he turned to you and pulled you closer. "Yes, my sweet?" You tried your best not to cry. "This is it, isn't it? Should I bid you farewell?" He gave you a genuinely sweet smile. "I don't think so, my sweet. I don't think that I want to let you go."

[winns-stuff]

LO RANT:

This is actually going to be small but it’s sick how everyone’s fine with Lore Olympus desecrating the names of the greek gods and shitting all over their myths. Like I genuinely feel like Rachel should be held more accountable because at the end of the day she’s making money off of this disrespectful ass comic, it’s not like she’s not she’s making millions and getting awards for this dog shit “retelling” and letting her fans genuinely believe that the stuff she puts in the comic is how it is in real life. I’m sure dozens of people genuinely think Minthe, Leuce, and Thetis are toxic and bitchy in the original myths since Rachel calls this her interpretation. If you don’t believe me I’ll put a screenshot of exactly the misinformation a lot of fans are spreading just to defend this horrible comic.

Interpretation can only go so far with stuff like this and I’m tired of everyone giving it a pass because of that excuse. If I show you a picture of a dog holding a bowl while looking sad maybe some will think he’s just hungry, others will think he’s been abandoned, and maybe even kidnapped by other people. It’s all up to their interpretation yes but at the same time it wouldn’t make a lick of sense for me to show you that picture and for you to say something non-relating like “the cat was in the meadow” or “the dog never had the bowl and actually the house that he’s in was a swimming pool the entire time.” There’s a difference between something being up to your genuine interpretation and you just making shit up and lying your ass off and Rachel has not been the doing the first.

How in the world did you get Leuce is a homewrecker from her being Hades’ first love and him turning her into a poplar tree after she tragically died in his realm due to the conditions of the Underworld? Is everyone genuinely believing that Rachel read the myths and got that from everything? And with Ares’ characterization in the myths compared to his characterization in Lore Olympus? She really got all of that from the myths. Be so fucking for real right now, she’s literally making all of this shit up and I’m so sick and tired of you fake greek mythology experts trying your hardest to defend this shit.

Listen, I am in no means fully informed or even educated about the myths as well but I’ve been learning a lot from those who are and the way that she made the gods is completely deplorable. It’s amazing how so many people are letting her slide with this and genuinely support her claims is insane and crazy.

Also, this may have been a real hot take and if it is I’m sorry but it’s been on my mind for a very long time and it’s just been getting me angry ever since.

[homosandhomies]

My favorite solo from each main character on glee (because why not)

SUE: Vogue. “WILL SCHUESTER I HATE YOU”

KURT: Rose’s Turn. Chris Colfer rarely got songs that highlighted ALL his vocal strengths. This song used everything. He had a strong head voice, an amazing mix, and he can EMOTE WITH EVERY INCH OF HIS LIFE. No wonder he got the Golden Globe.

QUINN: This Is A Man’s World. This scene is ridiculous, but out of context the song absolutely slaps. Diana can BELT and she deserved to do it more.

ARTIE: Stronger. Probably my favorite Britney song. Kevin ate. That is all.

PUCK: Only the Good Die Young. This song is so fun and I think Puck’s voice is very underrated. A good ol’ jam. Thank you for repping the Jewish community king ❤️

WILL: Sway. It’s a shame that we never talk about his voice because HOLY SHIT MATTHEW MORRISON IS INCREDIBLE. This man is so talented and we never acknowledge it because of Will Schuester’s shenanigans.

BLAINE: Somewhere Only We Know. You can hate Blaine all you want but you can’t deny the POWER of this song. The love in his eyes is sickening I am not okay right now

FINN: I’ve Gotta Be Me. Given the fact that Cory didn’t have any singing experience before, this song makes me so fucking happy because you can see how much he had grown as a singer, but also how proud he was of himself! Look at him go!!! (Bonus: If I’m bending the rules in terms of what qualifies as a solo I would 100% make his Paradise By the Dashboard Light. That was his undoubtedly his very best vocal performance. It’s SO FUCKING GOOD it makes me go batshit.)

RACHEL: My Man. “She may be difficult but boy can she sing.”

BRITTANY: Run the World. The dancing is definitely the more impressive part of this number, but it still sounds great! This song really highlighted Heather’s strengths, when most of her songs weren’t very memorable in my opinion.

MIKE: Cool. Maybe Tina should be a professional vocal coach because damn look at him go!! Idk why an Asian kid wanted to play the role of a leader of a white supremacist group but at least he sounds great 🤷‍♀️

MERCEDES: I Will Always Love You. Literally every single Mercedes song is perfect, so this was the hardest one for me. This means I had to base it on acting. And she DELIVERS here. It should be illegal to be this talented.

TINA: Because You Loved Me. The fact that this is one of TWO solos that Jenna actually got to finish infuriates me. She was ROBBED because she is an amazing singer.

SANTANA: Nutbush City Limits. LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, MISS NAYA RIVERA. HOLY SHIT. Finn saying before the song, “They say that true divas aren’t really mortal” is so true. This woman was an absolute icon and I will always be blown away by her talent.

JAKE: Let Me Love You (Until You Learn to Love Yourself). It’s so EARNEST and HEARTFELT and Jacob Artist popped off with the acting. And the falsetto!! God it’s just beautiful.

EMMA: Getting Married Today. This is a trio, not a solo, but it’s so fucking good that I HAD to do it. That is literally one of the hardest female songs on Broadway, and for some reason they had Jayma sing it even FASTER than the original version? I can’t imagine the stress of trying to do that, but she was perfect.

SAM: Copacabana. This is just a really fun song! Everyone’s having a good time and Chord sounds amazing.

RYDER: Your Song. This is my favorite Elton John song, and boy was it done justice. The acting is really good in this scene. The mix of anxiety and earnestness coming from Ryder is adorable. He had great chemistry with whoever that girl was. (On a storyline note, I hated how this all developed though. If it had gone my way, Unique would confess it was her, then Ryder would sing this directly to Unique.)

KITTY: Signed, Sealed, Delivered I’m Yours. I just really like this number. Obsessed with Becca’s high notes.

MARLEY: Wrecking Ball. The cheating storyline with Bree was so fucking stupid and shouldn’t have happened. That being said, Melissa ATE what they gave her and left zero crumbs. She really came in like a wrecking ball.

UNIQUE: I Know Where I’ve Been. THIS SONG MAKES ME GO FUCKING CRAZY!!! THE TRANS CHOIR!!!! THE ACTING!!!!! THE FUCKING HIGH NOTE!!!!!! IT’S JUST SO GOOD I CAN’T HANDLE IT!!!!!!! This is the best part of season 6, full stop. THE most underrated Glee song ever. I will not accept criticism towards this opinion.

[freyjas-light]

How do you communicate with your deities in meditation? I’ve tried but sometimes I wonder what’s them and what’s my imagination. I’m in my first year of deity worship so I’m still learning how to communicate

I went through the exact same thoughts as you when I started. I wondered if I was crazy for even attempting communicating with deities at all. I promise you that learning discernment does get easier over time, but I will also say that communicating through meditation is a skill and requires practice and not something you can jump immediately back into if you've set it down for a couple months (like yours truly can be bad about when life gets crazy)

Now I should start by pointing out that when I say "meditate" it's more of a practice in visualization. I can't clear my mind while meditating, it doesn't work for me. With that said, what I mention in this post might not work for you! Try different combinations, leave things out, whatever you know would be best for your style of "meditation".

So typically when I first sit down for my meditation session I set my intentions. I do this by simply stating in my mind who I would like to talk to, or what question I am trying to get an answer to, or just that I want to hang out with whoever is around.

I then start the process of relaxing and getting into the visualization/meditative state. I let all my thoughts flow, not focusing on any of them in particular. If I find myself focusing, I'll take a deep breath and try to relax back into this state of flow. I also will typically put on some ambient music to help get me in the right mood.

Now this is debatably the hardest part, and one you personally might not need. I have formed what I call a "waiting room" in my mind. It's a place I go that helps remind me to not focus on anything in particular, and is where I typically "meet" my gods. My "waiting room" is a very simple space, not much to conjure up, easy enough to come back to if I start to wander. It's more important that the space you choose or find is the same every time, that way you can get into the correct headspace quicker.

While in my waiting room, this is when I start opening up my mind to whatever messages I may receive. Sometimes this comes as visuals, sometimes this comes as an inner voice that seems to resonate from a different part of my brain. At this time I don't try to figure out what might be me and what might be my deity, I just let it all come in, filter what I need to to stay in the correct headspace, and ask any clarifying questions in my head if I need it.

Once I have received what I needed (I typically can tell because the energy shifts and the messages either stop, slow down, or I can start to tell my own thoughts are overpowering), I will write down anything important that I gathered. I will then take a moment to either pull runes or tarot to check if what I saw/heard was accurate.

When starting out, things can feel iffy on if the messages you received were correct or even there at all. But the more you practice, the better your intuition in these situations will get. I also feel that by doing these types of visualizations/meditations, I became more aware of being able to sense the changes of energies around me, particularly when one of my deities decides to show up.

I hope this guide helps a little! Please let me know if you need clarification on anything 💕

~Keegs

[luckspren]

I'm finally reading the Age of Madness trilogy. I just finished part 4 (so basically part 1 of The Trouble with Peace) and I looove it. I'm trying my hardest to be normal about the series, but my god. Abercrombie is definitely an auto-buy author for me. On the one hand I want to take my time with the rest of the trilogy and on the other hand I can't wait to read more. I am legitimately nervous about where some of those storylines will go.

While I wasn't exactly worried about not liking the trilogy (beause I heard many readers apparently prefer this one to the first trilogy and so far Abercrombie hasn't let me down), next-generation books can be kinda tricky for me, especially if the characters from the books before are still around. But I really like the new pov-characters.

Some thoughts and speculations under the cut:

So far I like the pov of Rikke and Orso the best. I do really enjoy the other perspectives too, though. Broad is probably the one I am least interested in right now

Rikkes prophecy... so up to the lion eating the wolf the events have already happened. So next comes the lamb eating the lion and we already know that Orso is the lamb. With the civil war brewing I have no reason to doubt that. So the question is who the owl represents. I guess the owl is often associated with wisdom, so maybe we are supposed to think that Bayaz wins it all again? Given that every other animal in the prophecy is connected to a member of the next generation though, I think the owl will also be one of them. Savine already likened herself to a snake, so I don't think it's her, even though she has a claim to the throne. So I think it's either Rikke or Jappo who we haven't really met yet, but Styria has to come into the plot sooner or later

(I haven't really considered Vick, Clover or Broad for the owl, because I read the animals/characters in the prophecy more as stand-ins for the nations they lead. Broad also already has the bull as an animal motif and so far Vick and Clover have no real power by themselves, so I just think it's unlikely, at least at this point in the story)

Leo is soooo doomed. It's amazing how he never learns from his mistakes. I don't actually dislike his chapters, but he is a very aggravating character to read about. He is so easily manipulated, I'm sure I still feel bad for him, when his downfall inevitably comes.

also with his colossal mommy issues I still can't quite tell if he's bi and in denial or gay and in denial. Either way, he's definitely into Jurand who I already feel bad for. Like I'm worried about Leos entire friend group. I feel like they are doomed by association. But not only is Jurand the only voice of reason in that group that nobody ever listens to, I also can't see Leo reacting favorably if his feelings ever come to light. Obviously Leo is married now, but I don't think even the friendship would survive, what with Leos pretty severe internalized homophobia. Also there was a moment in A Little Hatred where I thought Jurand may have something going on with Glaward (I think that's his name...definitely something with a G), because it's specifically mentioned that they spring apart when Leo runs through the camp after Rikke has her fit, so I thought maybe a little jealousy would move the plotline along, but that didn't happen. But maybe the Leo/Savine marriage reveal finally will ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Civil war is definitely coming and as I said before, I think Leos side will lose. Right now Orso seems in a worse position with everyone hating him. But Isher and co. seem to bank on the fact that Leo has allied himself with Stour who I can easily see betraying Leo. I don't know, I just think Leo will regret the decision to leave him alive. He should really listen to the women in his life but obviously he isn't gonna

I don't really know how things in the North will progress, now that the Dogman is dead ( :((( ). There is no chance in hell that Rikke will agree to an alliance with Stour and probably she's still pissed at Leo, so I guess she will rally the men (or at least a faction of them) behind her somehow... but the protectorate is also sandwiched between them and that seems like a terrible position to be in on her own.

Also I wonder if Styria will sweep in right after the Union weakens itself by infighting. Or maybe one of the sides will try to ally with Styria. Again that seems more likely for Leos side, buuut...Orso is half styrian and while Terez would fucking hate it, I could maybe see him giving up his claim to Styria entirely in his search for possible allies? He already didn't want to be king of the Union, I don't think he wants Styria. That would certainly be a twist regarding the tensions between the Union and Styria. But then again I don't now how that would fit into Vicks current storyline.

I am suspicious of everything. When Selest told Leo she wouldn't have missed his wedding even if Bayaz locked her in the House of the Maker I immediately went: Tolomei, is that you?? That's maybe more of an easter egg, but I am still pretty intrigued how and when the Bayaz plotline will come more to the forefront.

Jezal died (or was murdered?) and I'm being so brave about it. All in all not surprising. But I was so sure he would be assassinated at the end of the parade for Leo and Orso that I actually got my hopes up that he would at least survive book 1, only for the last chapter title to punch me in the gut. I literally started 2024 with reading his death. At least he died not knowing that his children had an affair.

It's amazing that I actually felt kinda bad for Savine and Orso and that they couldn't be together. It's him not knowing why that makes the situation so frustrating. I am not sure how many people in the story know of her true parentage. Maybe she will tell him herself later in the story. I guess he has to find out somewhere down the line

Given her marriage to Leo, maybe they will even use her parentage to strengthen his cause, but for that to happen, Savine would have to admit it to Leo first and right now I don't see it happening. Also the affair with Orso already seems subject to gossip, so trying to use her parentage wouldn't help her reputation at all (and I think Leo would also react with disgust) and people would for sure doubt the parentage of her own child

Speaking of which, I'm also not sure if I am supposed to question the parentage of Savines child? There was mention that she had her period shortly before Leo came to Adua, but wasn't Valbeck also right before his visit? Given that there are no paternity tests in this world, I am guessing I have to take Savines thoughts on the matter at face value and it's actually Leos child.

Interesting how the national conflicts are also kinda personal because of the partner switch at the end of A Little Hatred. Given that they are married now, I think Savine will support Leo in his treason. Still think he's a bad investment so to speak. So maybe she will use her pregnancy to get back into Orsos good graces once her side is losing.

Clover killing Wonderful also was quite the gut punch. I literally went 'oh no' the moment Stour made the request, because of course he would do it.

I find the similarities between Clover and Vick pretty interesting (in the sense that they both are betraying people around them so easily, at least seemingly)... While I am probably supposed to think that Vick will defect to Styria, the scene with Vitari makes me believe that she might actually stay loyal to Glokta in the long run. Clover on the other hand mostly thinks about his own well-being...and I don't know, I feel like Stour should watch his back around him. If the right opportunity comes along to get rid of him, I think Clover would take it. I would certainly cheer him on and it would endear him to Rikke... so maybe he will end up in her camp.

Even with all my precautions about spoilers, I think I managed to get spoiled about the identity of the weaver. I can only hope that is something that gets revealed soon, so I can go into book 3 completely blind

There is so much more I could write about these books and I am not even really halfway through (I haven't even touched on the breakers/burners etc)...

There is not one pov-character that I can't see ending up as a villain. Even the ones that start out more genial like Rikke and Orso might change for the worse, but Abercrombie does a good job of making them all the hero of their own story, if that makes sense.

I also keep thinking about people who start reading First Law with the Age of Madness trilogy and how that changes the reading experience. Don't think I would recommend that, but things like the half-sibling-reveal probably hit harder.

[theshotsheardacrossworlds]

Retainer

Estinien asks one of his wife's retainers how he came to be employed by her. SFW.

“So,” Estinien began, arms crossed over his chest. “How did you come to be one of Agi’s retainers?” Agi’s grabbing him some brownies to bring home. Too sweet my wife is.

N’zarah thought for a moment and then smiled. “Many years ago, my wife and I brought our daughter N’thyra to the Conjurers Guild when she became deathly ill. We were told the Elementals refused to have her healed, but a trainee came to us as we were leaving Gridania. ‘If you bring your daughter just over the border from the South Shroud into Eastern Thanalan, I will heal her.’” His gaze caught Estinien’s, still smiling. “It was Agnes, of course. Barely eleven or twelve years old and defying the will of her guild…of the Elementals. My daughter lives because of her. Years later, when I saw the advertisement saying she was looking for retainers, I was the first to apply. How could I not?” Gods, he’s still smiling. “I can never repay her for what she did for us.”

How many times have I heard that? How many times have people across the world say they are indebted to her? Oh Agi… He chuckled. “Aye, that sounds like her.”

“She was a sweet girl---tall for her age, red pigtails,” Oh fuck me, of course she had pigtails. “Purple glasses, and stubborn.”

“Who’s stubborn?” Agnes giggled, returning with a large tray of brownies. She handed them to N’zarah with a warm smile.

Estinien rolled his eyes. “You, madam.”

“Thank you, Agnes. I was telling your husband about how you saved N’thyra.” He winked at the hyur. “And how even as a young conjurer you had a mind and will of your own.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” she laughed, shaking her head. “It was the right thing to do.” You always make it sound so simple. “I’ll just tell the Elementals to take a hike and heal this child they condemned. No worries!” Agi, you bloody mad woman, I love you. “Besides, I did the same thing many times after and never got in trouble with the Guild.” I see that smirk, Madame Varlineau. Her brow then furrowed. “As for the Elementals, I suspect Hydaelyn may have had a role in them still allowing me to borrow their power for healing. Can’t say no to her future champion, could they?” She shook head. “Anyways, I hope you and the family enjoy the brownies, N’zarah. Until next time.”

He bowed his head to her. “Until next time, Agnes. Be well.”

After he left, Estinien pulled her into a hug. “Hmph, good to know your streak of being far too helpful began early.” He teased, a large, scarred hand reaching for her substantial backside. Just a little squeeze…for now.

“Hush, you naughty man.” For a few moments, she rested her head against his chest and held him as tightly as he held her. “When I began my training, Brother E-Sumi told me the hardest lesson I must learn is that I can’t save everyone…but that doesn’t mean I won’t try. I’ll never stop trying.” Agnes then giggled. “So I suppose…yes, I am stubborn in that way.”

“I wouldn’t have you any other way, my angel.” He murmured softly. That stubbornness saved me, after all. I remember it clearly. Agi pulling at the Eye as hard as she could. “You’re not dying today. You’re not fucking dying today.” She knew she was going to save me no matter what…just like with N’zarah’s daughter I bet. That’s my Agi.

[penelopecruzcoded]

it is new year's eve. my room is cleaner than it has probably ever been, though my closet is not, but even that too is cleaner and more organized than before. my bed is made, my hair is washed, my soul feels clean. i have not begun writing my resolutions or journalling for the end of the year, but i will do so now right after breakfast. "breakfast" at 5:30 pm lol.

I don't think I realize just how much I've changed my life this year. I've transformed my body from something I couldn't bear to look at, to something I actively like again, catch myself admiring my hips and ass in the mirror because they've finally, finally started to emerge once more. It is possible to regain what you once lost, to gain back your rightful body even though it was taken away from you. It's hard, it is going to keep being hard, but it's not impossible. And that's the most important thing here. Next year, I will continue to push myself, to transform, and to get even closer to being that person I have always been inside. I'm not turning into something new, I'm returning.

And by doing this impossible, very difficult feat, I've managed to transform other parts of my life too. I'm more inspired to make work. I want to attack other problem areas of my life and not stop trying until I get there. I do still get my "I wanna die it's all over"s, but they're less frequent, less intense, and once they pass, I'm back in a stronger mindset and it's less of a feat trying to pick up the pieces. This is incredible, because I remember may 2022, I remember the bottom of that pit so well, and the one I hit this year too. I do still love the refuge of my bed so, but I'm not rushing to it with every inconvenience. I'm building a thicker skin. I'm adapting and learning. I'm becoming.

In some ways, I've had the hardest year of my life and in others, the most rewarding, and I think existing in that difficult and impossible paradox is how anybody gets anywhere. Not rotting in bed day in and day out, but progressing forward despite any and all circumstances. That's how you get anywhere you want to get to in life. I still don't know if I'll ever get to where I want to be. It is so much to ask of the universe in so many ways. But by god, I am going to try and get myself closer every day and every week and every month. This much I promise to do.

[toinfinitywinning]

Moments and massive revelations —the really special realm of Hell.

Stubbornness. Pain. Lament. Jealousy. No Confidence but w/ a good selfie smile b/c ur Dog can’t take pictures, & no stick b/c u Def picked the wrong one or something. I say similar thoughts a lot…and w/ teardrops on my guitar …so I’m paying close attention. This stuff is dangersome.

Okay. I’ll just make a list.

Growth and learning during:

- humility. throw your Pride out the Door-you will need help.

- regardless of the wrong’s you righted before getting sick. They’re still achievements, but they’re not realized. So then you think was it worth it? Yes, but is it too much to ask to bask in it for just a bit? I mean I am talking multiple, major Life changes. Ha—here’s COVID-19. After that you better be in for the Long-Haul too ‘cuz…

- appreciation for the very minute of things we do in a Day. Getting the mail is difficult for me. Brushing my teeth —out of breath so have to incorporate breaks to breathe Right.

- there are more people Who care about you than you ever knew. It’s not just b/c you’re going through this, people just may be more Vocal. Makes complete sense but took me a bit to get there.

- you will want to throw something, scream into a pillow, drown in self pity —some of which you think you don’t deserve or are allowed. Do it anyway. Safely.

- some days u just gotta laugh. I mean fr b/c u can’t even cry. And things R absurd LOL

- regardless of your spiritual Life or beliefs. You’re gonna be angry at the God or State of mind supposed to save you and take it all away. Then realize that’s not at all the point. We’re not puppets. Think of how dull Life would be w/o the ecstasy from an achievement or how mundane if we didn’t have anything to have Faith in or Hope for or Love or forgive. That’s why we’re not born in Heaven maybe. We have to try first. I don’t want to be a Lazarus. I wanna fight. And we may never know an answer or reason to any of it. That’s gonna take a lifetime to settle b/c there is no rationality to be had.

- I do not mean this to pettifog. You actually do find out Who comes through for you. That old country song line.

- it’s possible to have a Good Day even full of Pain and Discomfort but u kinda have to make yourself and accept its potential consequence for participating.

- the little things aren’t little anymore. You envy people Who can do normal things. Things you used to do without a problem in the world.

- I’ve had to do a lot of fixing in my Life. This may not be perfectly fixed. We don’t have a Choice but to either live with it as a strength and inspiration or stay negative and pouty about what once was. Even tho you have every reason to.

- you will learn so much about yourself. So much. And most things I’ve learned have been new revelations. May have always been there but there to manifest as needed. It’s not all great but I’m not the same person just a few more grayish hairs.

- you will experience numbness. You can sit with it & pull your compression socks down for a bit, b/c this is something no one deserves. You just can’t live there.

- patience. You will never have to try harder. Hyper, hyper sensitivity.

- a journey to healing IF ever realized will be the hardest job you’ve ever had to do. More overtime than you can be paid. And u didn’t even interview. In a material result and no result world it’s disconcerting not to “get anything back”

- you’ll think back about previous hard times. How in that moment life was the worst it could ever be. How much time do u have lol. Next bad thing, ugh so much harder. And while all of this is very true, and all real, i will tell you that to know true strength is to come into any light possible while wielding off not just the physical, but all the emotions of the rainbow and mind. This even is a choice. People complimented you about your strength and are inspired by your determination to think u can. Girl were we wrong...you can make all the “Right” choices and healthy habits and still get punked over and over by Kevin McCalister. When I appreciate people now I try to take their “all” of them. Who are they in that moment. It is a different Life. And anyone else’s journey? Maybe I’ll be lucky enough to witness triumph b/c of how many obstacles went unseen. Yet they made it.

- the only person allowed to say “it could be worse” is you. Period. To be otherwise feels a bit like a competition. We, going through it, already know that. I have the same complaint when it feels like some people or orgs compete for who’s ‘wokest’? B/c if that’s why we’re / I’m doing how disingenuous.

- when words/phrases like holiday or vacation or lets Go out give you more Anxiety and worsen your Physical Health—that’s when you know your Life has done a 180. Especially if those were the times you lived for. This hard Truth and reality is one of the hardest for me. I already had Anxiety about unpacking after vacation before I packed in the first place but whether or not waiting until you really have to Go to the bathroom so u can (while you’re up) also get some water is just something I would have thought before as one of the dumbest things I’d ever heard. And how cruel is that knowing what I know and feel now.

- Life is not a give and take like we want it to be. If that were the Case I’m not positive we’d ever know what healing or getting better really means. Not only that—you may give more than any other, and nothing. You may see the best doctors and access to all the Meds and tests put forward. Nothing. Pretty soon things are hollow and harrowing. Kind of like the celebrities Who swear that money does not make you happy. It’s like a bandaid that doesn’t stay on in the shower, the ones at Doc offices u get after shots. With mickey on them.

- I think joy is like a preventative medicine. When you practice taking it, You save it up and changes you. Like any of my tattoos, there’s gotta be a story there or something meaningful even if your answer starts off, “well spring break senior year we were…’ you get it. Hangover 1-3 movies. HappYness fleets around. More drug like. Addictive really. Impulsive. Every big chain company’s biggest threat if they can get us hooked. You just got swindled. Ha and to Go a bit more political—people know this scheme is pyramid like and use sneaky ways to have Power over you. Goodness I’m not trying to make this sound like a happy cult but there’s just Def a difference.

- you are exhausted mind body and Soul and regardless of consequence you have to choose some times to be present b/c for me I don’t want to Miss out on vacations and holiday’s. But it is an hourly debate. But I can’t just sit there every significant interaction.

- you’re tired. You’ve been strong, resilient, ppl tell you and u appreciate it. But I get tired of having to stay strong. It’s just so overwhelming and for me especially b/c “I can do it alone.” I’ve failed at that a few times.

- you’ll notice things you never have before. Suddenly they mean something like whether u can drive to get Food.

- being a bit redundant but part of stewardship on my End is allowing the help. Someone WANTS to do something for you for THEIR spiritual needs. Not in a vain type of Way. Let them. We’ve all been on the other side.

- you will experience a full range of emotions. Address them separately. Ppl still might look up to you.

- you’ll wanna give up. Don’t. Maybe your continuing going on is the stewardship someone recognizes in themselves. Idk. Pay it forward?

- lastly. YOU don’t KNOW everything. Karma could very well be your best friend, but that line of thinking is non productive and will only take u so far before you’re complaining re something else. B/c regardless of what I’ve done, —and given its timing you learn a karma hostage relationship is something easier holding on to than facing it. Just deflect.

That’s okay. When ready move on to the New Testament. I’m not fully there. But, I have to think the puppet analogy doesn’t apply here too. Shit happens. Ask that dude running with Forrest with a tshirt company dream that died and some dog shizz. Just control what you can. Easier said than done. Thats why when we do overcome—it means more. It’s engrained. Forever inevitable if you can continue to separate the wheat from the chaff. Card Game of Bullshit.

- ppl at some point think you’re being dramatic and begging for attention as if any more attention is what would heal us

- comments like you look Good or sound fine fall deaf. Well So do ppl Right before they kill themselves. Anymore how u look doesn’t have Shit of a correlation

- you’ll get on ppl’s nerves

- you’ll be resented and questioned how sick u really are. Trust me faking —that’s the last Fucking thing on our minds.

- I don’t need to explain anything

[calypsodivum]

the trooper (e.m.)

part one ● part two ● part three ● part four

summary

it's the battle of hawkins. you and eddie finally reunite, but will it turn out the way it did the last time?

disclaimer

gif and photos used are not mine. all credits go to their respective owners!

warnings

mentions of loss, bl00d, and depression. if you are uncomfortable with any of the topics mentioned, please don’t proceed. let me know if I missed any warnings!

a/n thank you for all your support, it literally means the world! part 4, and the final part for this series will be posted real soon; I have the outline and everything lol.

just like in the past two parts, I used colors to differentiate dialogues! one part of this (towards the end) may seem very confusing but it happens when reader is in a "vecna trance". again, thank you for the support ♥

i still hear you some days. you don’t sound as clear like you’re underwater and i’m trying my hardest to reach out to you. when i do hear you, it feels like a warm embrace. i don’t know why i took his hand. i was filled with so much rage. hate for the people who made me choose but i know i can’t blame them. i put up walls for a reason, walls that you managed to break through. you made me snap out of that hate. i don’t care anymore. i don’t care if they chase me with pitchforks and torches as long as i get to come back to you. i don’t even care if you won’t look at me anymore, at the monster i’ve become. i just want to see you.

vecna doesn’t know this. somehow, i’ve managed to be his henchman. following him around this wretched place. i’m still trying to find a portal. i think he’s the only one who can open one up. if that’s true, you’d have to wait i bit more, sweetheart. i don’t even know if you can hear my thoughts the same way i hear yours. but it doesn’t hurt to try.

——————————————————————————

eds, i need you. this future thing is so hard. i keep seeing you in my dreams. you’re walking around towards god knows what. you look so scared. i tried running to you but i cant seem to get to you it’s like the path to you is doesn’t end. in some of my dreams, you see me and try to run to me but we just can’t reach each other. god, i miss you.

eddie closes his eyes and lets a tear fall. you sounded so clear that time. fear was so evident in your voice. all he wanted to do was hold you but he can’t. he has to stay. you both have to wait for the right time.

months pass as vecna regains his strength, strong enough to conquer hawkins. ready to unleash the world wriggling underneath mortal feet with eddie by his side. the creature finally opens a gate. eddie watched him closely. learning his strenghts and weaknesses. he is powerful but idle. he is two seperate entities, his mind is not the same as his body.

if i can hear y/n, then maybe someone out there can hear me too.

i can.

a strange soft voice tells eddie and just like a hallucination, he sees a girl approaching him. it's eleven. they device a plan.

now, all they need to do is wait until vecna puts his own plans in motion.

——————————————————————————

the time has finally come. the battle of hawkins. first, vecna unleashes his bats. the sam ones that forced eddie to embrace death as his own. then, the dogs. every monster hawkins, or those who have seen them, in vecna’s arsenal. the mindflayer, demogorons, the spider monster, all released to run around the streets of hawkins and when the chaos is at its peak, out comes vecna with eddie marching beside him.

——————————————————————————

the phone rings incessantly. i wait for it to ring three times, just in case it’s a telemarketer i don’t really want to sit through a sales skit today. fridays are my day off from school and work, only having one class at the crack of hell’s dawn. who said 8 am classes are a good idea? my soul is barely awake at 8 am. 11:46, great this phone call just ruined my nap but i pick it up anyway.

hello?

y/n? thank god!

what’s going on dustin? why are you out of breath? i hear growling, is everything alright?

you the most observant friend i have. so, here’s the sitch, remember all the monsters i told you about, the ones before the demobats and vecna himself?

yeah, in graphic detail, yeah. what about them?

yeah, so, they’re all here.

what the SHIT?! is everyone okay?

everyone is dandy. everyone say hi to y/n!

hi, y/n!

okay, good. i’m guessing you need all hands on deck.

you guessed right but it’s okay if you want out on this one. i don’t blame you.

who said i’m going to pass on my revenge? they took eddie from me, all this rage needs a home, you know?

then let’s bring that baby home.

——————————————————————————

you hop on the fastest flight to hawkins, indiana. fear does not hold place in your heart, anger takes over. you’re going back for eddie. you need to do this. somehow, you’ve convinced yourself that your doing this for eddie but you know deep inside that you’re doing this for you. maybe if you get hurt a little, if you sacrifice yourself like eddie did you won’t feel as guilty anymore. or maybe he’s still in that god-forsaken place, as scared as you were and you wanted to find him.

——————————————————————————

when vecna opens a portal for us, i felt you. i heard you i looked around but you’re not here. thank god. i want to see you but i also want you safe. when i come back to you, i will come back on my own, not with him.

“ah yes, scream for us, hawkins! remember this day as your last! i can almost taste it— fear! my most loyal ally. for years, you stood by me, only getting stronger, hawkins will soon be ours!”

bang

a bullet shot through vecna’s chest. but nancy, this creature does not have a heart anymore. only rage.

“eddie?” nancy shoots a confused look at eddie, recognizable only by his long hair.

“he’s not the same eddie you know. you labeled him freak, a monster, now that’s what he is”

eddie steps closer to the group, still eyeing for y/n, making sure they’re safe.

“he’s right, wheeler. this town drove me to my death. now i’ll drag all of you down with me.” his is words shoot daggers in him, he didn’t mean any of it

just as eddie was about to yield his sword in front his friends, only to use it against vecna at the very last moment, he hears footsteps and an all too familiar voice.

“eddie!”

he manages to slice vecna’s left hand clean off. he quickly turns around and when he does, vecna throws him across the other side of the field. he winces but he immediately gets up to run to you. he knows vecna will try and get to you first.

you’re running towards him too. sprinting, until you’re in his arms. finally.

what are you doing here?

what am i doing here?

it’s not safe, y/n and you know that!

you don’t hear any of his words. he’s finally here. you lean in for a kiss as he talks. he gives in. it felt like hours but you didn’t want it to end. he pulls away as he sees vecna walking towards you.

get behind me

no!

y/n, please!

no, i’m not leaving you, not again.

you stand hand in hand, the others still fighting off the other creatures vecna brought with him.

you think betraying me would stop me from getting what i want? you will die all over again, eddie and you’re bringing y/n down with you.

that won’t happen

do you really think y/n isn’t disgusted by the monster you’ve become? do you really think that in the time you were gone, y/n wouldn’t find someone else? look at them, edward. young, beautiful, full of promises, a bright and happy future. you’re taking that away from them.

you look at him with a blank expression. you take your hand away from his grip as you take a good look at him for the first time. he’s different. a monster. not eddie.

y/n…

vecna shows eddie y/n’s future.

when all of this ends and i take all of hawkins with me. they will leave this place behind. all the pain and suffering that comes with it. you. a part of her past that can easily be buried. you will never be enough for them. you can’t give them the happiness they deserve. face it. it was doomed from the start. you will never be what y/n needs.

eddie! please, wake up! eddie, PLEASE!

y/n…you-you don’t need me so please for the love of god RUN!

NO! the last time i did all i ever felt was pain. i dont need you? eddie, when you weren’t with me i was alive but i felt nothing at all. so you telling me that i don’t need you is bullshit because the moment i saw you again all i wanted to do was run to you, nothing else matters, eddie! just you! so i’m going to stay, i-

STOP IT! i’m not asking you, i’m telling you to run as far away from me as you can! this is my life now and it shouldn’t be yours! have you ever thought about how i could’ve found my way back on my own? i didn’t do that because i didn’t want to, okay? i DON’T love you anymore so there is no reason for you to stay! SO RUN!

eddie screams at you as his eyes widens and turns red. fear sets in your heart but you weren’t afraid of eddie, you were afraid of losing him.

y/n! PLEASE, NO! LET GO! TAKE ME INSTEAD! I WON’T EVER BETRAY YOU AGAIN JUST PLEASE LET THEM GO!

holy shit! y/l/n! steve tries to swing his nail bat at vecna but he manages to use his powers to throw him across the field. nancy goes after him to make sure he’s okay. robin throws a molotov at him but it didn’t work, the vile creature just walked through the flames unscathed. dustin and the rest of the younger ones ran off with hopper and joyce, ready to commence the most important part of their plan.

you continue to float in the air, eyes rolling until eddie couldn’t see your e/c pupils anymore. he knows this all too well. fear has his heart on a tight grip, he can’t lose you again.

oh but we can’t risk that again, can we, teddy?

he’s in your head. eddie knows what vecna is doing. he’s showing you your darkest fear and it hurts eddie that yours is the fear of him not loving you back. grasping at every solution he can think of, he tries bringing you back.

sunshine, do you remember the first time we met? it was at the trailer park. i was playing alone and you gave me flowers, said i looked lonely and then we played all day. you remember that? it was the happiest day of my life.

your body floats higher above the ground. your hands are starting to twist, eddie can tell you’re fighting it.

the first time i realized i loved you was in 5th grade. it was raining, we were on our bikes trying to rush home. i fell and cried, y/n, remember that? but you laughed at me then helped me up. you walked in the rain with me. i didn’t hear thunderstorms that night.

your neck starts to bend sideways, bones cracking. you scream, you can feel every ounce of pain. but you fight. you can’t leave him again.

eddie flashes in your head. him in his prom suit, this shit’s so fucking itchy he complains. eddie strumming his guitar. eddie singing the songs he wrote just for you. eddie reading lord of the rings with you. eddie giving you a bunch of ornamental kale, thinking they were flowers. all your happiest memories were of him. it was enough to fight back.

eddie charges at vecna and stabs his left eye. fueled with rage, eddie fights vecna. each swing of his sword, merciless as the creature writhes in pain. eddie fights with tears in his eyes. he doesn’t know if you’ll survive this. you have to. he tells you as if you can hear him.

vecna finally falls on his knees, evil reduced to a soft thud on the dirt,

i will be back. i am power in the purest form, you out of all people should know that.

vecna says as he turns into dust

power, yes. but an idle one. you will always lose.

and with a final swing of his sword, eddie ends him. for good.

[grollow]

I have a question, how does writing stories work exactly? Like do you just picture what you want to happen and think of the right words to describe it? It seems so confusing and illogical to me but your writing is fantastic so i presume you'd understand how it happens

This ask is at once the most flattering thing that I have received in ages and also the hardest question in the world to answer. Part of me is manifesting Grimm's skitter ability to scuttle away. :'D

This is long so I am gonna tuck it under a Read More.

Creativity is different for everyone and how we go about it is also different. Some people have ideas for scenes (sometimes mental pictures, sometimes it's just a quote or a single sentence -- it varies), plan out the specific scenes they want, and then work to connect them together with story. Other people have a clear vision of their plot from the get-go and then just let it go.

Writing is an art form like any other and what works for one person may not work for others. Typically the best way to learn how to do it is just. To open a document and start typing. It sounds cliche but that's really just how it goes. You start typing and eventually get an idea of where you're going, or you end up with 900 started-but-not-finished WIPs, and both are legitimately fine.

In my specific case, my writing process typically consists of having [1] specific scene pop into my head, that I go "I want to write an entire story around this scene." I build around it. For my narratively-driven fics (such as Eyes, Butterfly Effect to a lesser degree, White and Gray and Red Sky), I outline super, super heavily, and I don't even start the fic until I know how I plan to end it because otherwise I'm going to go all over the place with it.

For my less narratively written stuff (Living Dead, Gently), I usually have bullet points of things I want to accomplish and then just. Write until i get there. I find that those stories tend to be a little more organic but also a little more rambly, less cohesive (but not necessarily in a bad way, I also think they are 'lighter' to read).

I have journals upon journals of things like:

Random quotes that I want to use in different fics (I get quote ideas/dialogue stuff a lot, especially for Red Sky)

Mental pictures that I like (I have been doodling more to try and give new ideas)

Setting + location ideas (this is applicable to original works and red sky mostly but still)

On PC I have docs that are called: Outlining BS, Random Snippets, "God Grimm do you ever shut up" (does he?), Everything Burns Setting, and some others. That are just. Stuff I shoved somewhere to help for inspiration.

Anyway, this turned out really long, so the TLDR:

Sometimes it's mental pictures. Sometimes its dialogue.

If you want to write, anon, just open a doc and start writing. It may not be something you like but you will only improve with practice, like any other art form.

I hope this rambly nonsense makes sense. Your compliments are really appreciated and I am grateful for them. ;w; Thank you!

[undergradinlife]

September 17th

Hey James,

I haven’t heard from you since I started university. I know that it’s my doing, that I pulled back and didn’t text or call, but neither did you. When I got to my dorm and sat down, alone in a new city for the very first time, all I wanted to do was talk to you. You knew I was leaving that week, starting a new life, and you hadn’t asked me about it at all. You knew I’d just left the first boy I’d ever loved behind and you hadn’t asked me about it at all. So when I decided that I wouldn’t be the one to text you first like I always was, I assumed that it would only take a couple of days before you reached out to me and we went back to how things were. I thought that I’d be sitting in class, wondering about you, and my phone would light up with your name on the screen ready to tell me a story, talk about your day, or just send me a silly photo you saw online. 

After a couple of days, meeting new people, deciding who I was, learning to live so far from everything that I knew- there were no messages from you, no call, nothing. After a couple of weeks I felt more alone than I ever had; being in university wasn’t easy. I got bullied, I couldn’t sleep, it was about two months before I found a group of people who wanted me and treated me like their friend. After a couple of months, I’d forgotten about how long I’d been waiting for you for. I didn’t wake up and check my phone, and I didn’t reach for my phone to call you every time I saw something that you’d like. I moved on, but every once in a while I’d see something and remember how you were the only absolute I’d ever had, the only friend and familiarity who was by my side, and my heart would drop for a moment, but I’d continue with my day and your name would be nothing but a passing thought in my mind. 

I’m 22 now. I’m smarter, I’m sure of myself, and I have a clear idea of who I am. I think that I’m happy, but I know that it’s a work in progress. It’s going to take a bit of time to catch you up, but that’s okay. I live alone for the first time in my life, and I try my hardest to make it work. I have two jobs right now, both in restaurants, and I’m still trying to finish up my degree. I don’t know if I’ll stay where I am, but I do know that I’m flighty and often think about where I’d go. 

After I moved here, I met a boy named Daniel who was in the group of friends that I’d made. We dated for four years, and I left him this January. Then I left him again in April. He moved out in may, and stopped staying over in July. He was incredibly nice when we started dating, and incredibly rude to me the rest of the time. He hurt me, he made me feel small, and he even tried to end my life at one point. Everyone thought that he was a gift from God, and treated him like he could do no wrong. Now we’re broken up, and he’s incredibly nice to me again, though he doesn’t know what I’ve been up to and believes that we’ll end up together in the end. When I left him, I was scared that I’d never be able to accept love again. When I left him, I was scared that nobody would be able to touch me without my body filling with fear. My life ended a long time ago during the midst of our relationship, and my life began again in March of this year when I met some of the people who have impacted me the most.

I wonder if things would have been different if I still had you to talk to. I wonder if my life would have ended three years ago and started again this March, or if I would've been able to live and experience the world this whole time without missing out on those years. I hope you're happy for me. I hope you understand. I have more to catch you up on, and I'll write again soon.

All love,

undergradinlife