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radiosandrecordings · 3 years

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Crossposting my @summer-in-the-archives-event fic here too. [AO3] [Accompanying beautiful art]

He’d never get used to the rolling fields of quiet.

Miles behind and miles to go, not that he could see any of it through the thick blanket of fog that clung to his ankles, and his wrists, and his eyes. Miles to go before I sleep…

It was hard to describe the rain that fell, because even ‘fell’ felt like too active a descriptor. It didn’t pour, it didn’t ‘beat down’, it didn’t pelt, because those all required a sense of agency that the landscape just felt too apathetic to muster. It simply existed, and just happened to be moving downwards by coincidence.

Jon wasn’t sure if he knew or Knew that it seeped into his clothes, coating his skin, but he couldn’t even feel the droplets landing, even pinpricks of touch creating too much of a sensation for this place. He briefly wondered that, if he still had need for his glasses, would the rain even make the effort to trickle down and cloud the lenses.

The last Lonely domain he’d passed through, he’d never seen the avatar that lorded over it. He didn’t have any real interest in finding out, not like the personal vendettas that lead him to seeking out Jude, or Jared. Because with Peter dead he wasn’t left with any Lonely avatars left to chase, save the vague notions of the Lukas extended family. He was simply going to keep his head down and keep trudging, hopefully emerging through the thick banks of mist before he lost his mind to the monotony. If there was ever something to make you miss muffled cries from beneath the earth…

“Why are you here?”

The sound was accusatory, and may as well have been a shotgun in the silence. The damped chill was nothing in comparison to the ice that shot up his spine. The voice had no clear origin, no figures even silhouetted in shadow against the overgrown grass, but it came in close, delivered on the gentle, numbing breeze. Despite this, though, never in a thousand domains could he forget the sound of it. Of course it was his. Of course. Of course. “Martin?”

“No! ”

The voice sounded… Angry. But hurt, like it flinched away from the word. Like something that had been left to sit in the dark too long, that recoiled back from a stinging source of light.

“... I’m going to assume no one has called you that in a long time.” He tried to keep his voice light, as much as the stifling atmosphere would allow it.

“No one is anything here. It’s easier that way. If you’re somebody, you can be hurt. If you have too much personality, too many little facets and cracks, things start to snag and catch on it, and it drags you down to where things ache. But if you’re nothing, then they don’t have anything to cling onto. You can just slip away unharmed.” The voice sounded like it was moving, curling around him and moving from ear to ear, forward and back as it droned on in that echoing monotone that Jon had hoped he would never hear again, and at the same time, had longed to.

“And what about the good things?”

“There isn’t anything good, not anymore. You saw to that.”

Jon snorted. “Low blow, but fair.” He hesitated for a moment, trying to summon the words.

He’d had time, after he left the Lonely, to consider his actions. Regret pooled like acid in his stomach at the memory, and somehow it hurt more than ending the world. He wouldn’t say it was more important. He knew whatever he felt, and moreso, knew that one human life, was not paramount to the suffering of every creature great and small, but it felt more tangible. When he walked through the hellscapes, they were dreamlike, hazy, information in such clarity but to an extreme where it still felt nonsensical to perceive it as reality. He knew the fundamental truths that surrounded him but it still felt hard to accept them even as he lived them.

Yet despite having lived without it for eight months prior, the space beside him that failed to solidify into Martin still stung with his absence. And Jon regretted it every not-day he spent walking the hellscape, both in knowing he doomed a good man to suffering, or worse, revelry, in this new world, and in the far more personal, and far more selfish, part of him that missed him so goddamn much.

“But- But Martin, I think I made a mistake.”

“Obviously.”

“Not- Not that. I mean, when we were in the Lonely. The- The first time. With Peter Lukas.” The silence droned on, and Jon took that as his cue to continue. “Do you remember what I said? That maybe you were safer here? And that’s… That’s why I let you stay. I didn’t push you to, to leave with me because I thought you wanted to be here, that you’d be safer here than you’d be with me. But I don’t think that was entirely true.”

“I am safe here.”

“Maybe so. It doesn’t mean it’s better though, does it. Martin, I saw those people, in the last Lonely domain. I know it’s different, they were victims and you’re… You’re an avatar, here, you’re feeding off of all of this, but I promise you they were not happy. They were so alone and it didn’t protect them, it just made it worse. Think about it, the logic of this world. There are threats out there of unimaginable horror, and yet they were still assigned here, it’s their worst nightmare. And you were assigned here too. You’re all suffering, just in different ways, but all calculated to be your personal worst.”

“The Martin Blackwood you thought you knew doesn’t exist anymore. He had to be filed down, too many breaks and tears in him that grew and grew, any time someone raised a harsh word. The best way for him to be protected, is for him to go away entirely. You cannot hurt something that doesn’t exist.”

“Are you sure about that? Because you just said ‘I’.”

“What? ” That anger reemerged again, and as staunched as it was it was beautiful, a return to form amongst the dull monotone, reminiscent of the few times Jon had been privileged enough to witness a truly pissed off Martin Blackwood.

Jon found himself grinning. “You said ‘I am safe here’. Emphasis on the ‘I’. Ergo, you still have some form of identity left, and thus I would wager that the part of you left is Martin. Unless I’ve wandered across some other avatar of the Lonely who sounds like him, of course.”

“You’re always so fucking smug, you know that?”

The voice is coming from behind him. Actually, physically, presently behind him and Jon spins around so fast he’s almost dizzy.

And as much as it made his heart soar, and much as he was glad to finally, finally , see him again when he’d thought he never would, Martin looked… Bad.

His skin had darkened, mottled and blotchy with large swathes of a bruise-like blue or sickly green cropping up across his face and neck, or the parts of his forearms visible where his cable knit sleeves rolled back. It was like frostbite from the cold, or some disturbing onset of trench-foot from the damp, corpselike and unsettling. What was worse, though, were the parts that simply ceased. His hair didn’t even reach the tips, simply fading out into a grey static that merged with the mist, and it consumed his eyes whole, tear tracks streaking down his face in patterns of fuzzy, crackling grey that snapped and popped in the silence, far too reminiscent of a tape.

The sight made Jon’s heart clench like a fist, the combination of relief and horror, and in that moment he understood Jane Prentiss more completely than he ever had before. It would’ve felt like a rude comparison to consciously make, the person he cared for most equated to a pulped and writhing mass that churned out creatures that made your skin crawl before tearing into it. But he knew what she had seen in it, that call towards the thing that fascinated you, despite the turning it causes in your stomach.

Despite this, however, Jon steeled himself. This was rapidly becoming a battle, and he couldn’t afford the cost of emotions. He had to keep Martin, well… Martin. Draw out the emotion. In short, be a bit of a bastard. So instead, he cocked an eyebrow. “I thought you liked that about me?”

He could see Martin’s fists clench, the colour of his extremities dyed black from frostbite. The irritation was still clear as he started into “Fucking hell J-” but they both appeared taken aback as he dissolved into a choking, hacking cough.

It took everything in him for Jon to tamp down the need to surge forward, put a hand on his back and ask if he was okay. It was a strangely mundane thing; the man was made out of static and fog and despite seeming to have an on-and-off-again relationship with his corporeal form, this was the first recognisably human thing to adversely affect him. Why, though? What had Martin done to trigger- Oh. Oh .

“That- That priest from the statement… 0113005? Father Burroughs. He couldn’t say the name of god. Anything related to it, really. And you… You couldn’t say my…”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Martin spat. “You’re not a god or thee god, whatever your new eye magic might imply. It’s just…” He let out a breath that turned into a grumble. While his eyes had always been cloudy, he was now refusing to meet Jon’s gaze.

Regardless, it still drew a breathy laugh out of him. “No, I’m not that far gone into my own self importance yet. But… It’s about the connection, isn’t it?” Something in the conversation had changed, it’s tone or it’s flow, that felt contradicting. Tension coiling up to spring, or they’re barrelling towards a culmination, but at the same time, Jon felt like the wind had been kicked right out of him. He lowered himself to the ground, slowly, settling among the grass and trying to ignore the unpleasant dampness under him. Hey, he could feel the damp again. That was something.

“That’s more flattering, actually, I would say… The Lonely, it thinks if you acknowledge me directly, that would loosen it’s hold on you.” Jon huffed out a breath. “You know I listened to all the tapes. What was it that Daisy said to you, when I was on the run? ‘People say you two are close’? Well, the Lonely appears to agree.” He took a minute before adding, “I would, as well. And, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was too… Too in my own head, before, to admit it. Too much of a coward to do it before that, even. But you need to know I love you. And I know that you… Cared for me, at least? Even if I stuck my head in the sand to ignore it. But the Lonely seems to think you do, still. So will you please come back to me? I know it’s not- I know it won’t be much better, travelling through the domains, but it’s all I can offer and it has to be better than this. I can’t promise anything kind will be waiting for us in London, but you’d be yourself again, and I can’t… Martin, I can’t lose you again. To leave here, again, without you, I’d be losing you. Please.”

“No.”

There wasn’t even a delay to his response, stating it in monotone the second Jon had finished speaking. It felt like ice, lancing through his heart.

“Martin. Martin, please -”

“I said no. I thought you would’ve learned by now; I’m not exactly amenable when you come crawling to me with half baked plans of escape. Because you don’t love me, you love the idea of me. You are quite literally the only free man left in the world and you’re lonely . So you’re looking for a familiar face. Kind Martin, caring Martin, always there with tea and taking your side in every argument. Defending you to Tim when you’d just as soon slag him off behind his back, or on tape. Pretty appealing when everyone else is trying to kill you. At least he treated you like a god before this even started.”

Each sentence felt like another dagger to the chest, and it took him a moment to compose himself, tears forming at the corner of his eyes. Eventually, though, Jon spoke. “That’s not true, though. I- Martin I can’t apologise enough that that’s what it’s felt like, for you. But I need you to know, that isn’t true. A-At the start, maybe, I can’t deny I was stupid and spiteful, but you didn’t deserve any of it. And after that… I didn’t do a one-eighty and decide you were a doormat. I liked you because you were secretly enough of a prick as well. Any time you’d pull me out for lunch when I dragged my heels, or argued back when I said something shitty, that was… It felt like I was seeing the real you. The one you didn’t want to let people think of you as, but the one you were, because despite wanting to appear like the picture of innocence, you are a bitch, Martin Blackwood. And that’s my favourite thing about you. Maybe time is sweetening my memory, slightly, but I truly don’t believe there’s rose coloured glasses here. If we walk out of here, I’m not under any sort of illusion that it’ll be a honeymoon. We will doubtless find something to argue over, if not several, but I want that. I want you at my side to, to disagree and point out all my blind spots. We’re both stubborn bastards but I’m stupidly fallible, and I need you to keep me balanced. I don’t want a yes-man, I want you, Martin, and I’m asking for that knowing full well what it entails.”

When the words stopped flowing, he found himself gasping for breath, sobs building in his chest and threatening to spill over. But Martin was standing closer.

“That’s- I don’t- Fuck.” As Jon looked up, wiping at his own eyes, he could see fog starting to trickle from Martin’s mouth, coming in short bursts as his nostrils flared and chest rose and fell noticeably for the first time that Jon had seen since he stepped foot onto the moors. This caused a conflict of emotion in Jon, because while it seemed to be another step towards humanity, Martin letting the Lonely fall to the wayside in favour of reclaiming himself, it also looked far too close to a panic attack to be something worth celebrating.

“I don’t understand,” he finally settled on, voice cracking on the words. He slowly let himself sink to the ground opposite Jon, knees pulled up to his chest. “I left you. Time and again I left you. I left you to work with Lukas, and I left you when you tried to get me to run away, and I left you when I stayed on the beach.” His palms were pressed into his eyes, mist seeping from between his knuckles as he dragged them across his face, though Jon couldn’t be sure if he was attempting to wipe the fog away, or if he was stalling while he faltered, trying to summon the words. Both, maybe. Jon took the silence from him.

“You didn’t really choose that, though. You didn’t feel like you even had a choice. So Martin if… If you’re worried that I think badly of you for that, I don’t. Martin, I’ve done so many terrible things, so to- No, no, actually I don’t mean it like that. I don’t mean that you’re a good person, compared with me. I think you’re a good person full stop. And I just want you to be able to see that. I know the Lonely is quite literally clouding your judgement right now but… Please, just, just make me a deal?”

Martin’s palms were resting on his chin now, cupping his cheeks and curving around his neck. He nodded once, wearily, for Jon to continue.

Jon drew in a breath “I think I’m in some sort of… Bubble. Like a miniature domain, when I’m travelling. I think, if you agree to come with me, even for a little bit, that might dissolve some of the Lonely’s more adverse effects. Make it easier to think, to, to be yourself without its influence. If that is what happens, and you want to return… I’ll bring you back. But please, just… Try? For me?”

Martin sighed, hands dropping from his face. “...Fine.”

“You- Really?”

“Yes. I… Look, J-” Martin bit back another coughing fit. “Look. I am… There is a lot of me right now that wants to leave. The fog is… It’s in my head, figuratively, probably even literally, but… I remember something Basira said. When she got back, from, from The Unknowing . Melanie wanted to know how she got out, when the other three… When you, and Daisy, and Tim, didn’t. She said she reasoned her way out. So I’m going to listen to reason for a minute, as much as it’s paining me.”

Despite those final words, Jon felt his face crack into a smile. “That’s… Yes, you’re right. Well that’s… That’s a very reasonable connection to make.”

And for the first time in a long time, Martin smiled.

“Uhm, so how does this work then?” He eventually said, hand coming up again to scratch the back of his neck in an old nervous habit Jon could not be more happy to see.

“Well”, Jon said, taking a moment to brush sodden grass from his trousers as he got to his feet, “I would say, based on the dream logic that everything here seems to run on here, it should be rather simple.” He held out a hand to tug Martin up after him.

Martin took it.

It was almost cliché, how the Lonely fell away from him. It only took a few seconds, all in all, for the bruising to fade, receding their colourful splotches until his skin lay clear again. His frostbitten fingers healing themselves, sewing broken skin back together and returning to a healthy colour. His face, too, was returning to its original pallor, the change creeping up his neck and across his cheeks and leaving rich brown in its wake. Dark eyes stared down at Jon from behind long lashes, blinking away the last of the fog. He was beautiful.

“Hi,” Jon managed to choke out.

“Hi,” Martin said, and pulled him into his arms.

Jon just let himself be held in the pressure of the embrace for a moment, before bringing a hand up to card his fingers through Martin’s hair. While it had solidified into soft curls, the colour had stayed the same, bleaching it white under his fingertips. He wasn’t sure if Martin had noticed or not, but that was a conversation for another time. They were both a little preoccupied for the moment.

“How do you feel?” Jon eventually said, words pressed into the side of Martin’s neck.

“Uhm. Strange?” Martin eventually settled on. “It’s… I can remember what my thought process was, what the Lonely was pushing me to believe, but it’s like… It’s like the camera panned out, and now I can see it all clearly, and it looks… It looks stupid. Thank you, Jon. For coming to get me.”

“Of course,” Jon whispered, “Of course.”

Another moment passed before Martin spoke up again. “...Did you mean what you said, though? Or was that… Was that just to try and get me to leave? I- I won’t be angry, if it was, that- that’s very clever, I just want to know.”

Jon furrowed his brow. “Which part do you mean?”

Martin let out an agitated sigh. “You- You know which one I mean, Jon. The- The part where that you said that you…”

“That I love you?” Jon said, picking up where Martin trailed off.

Martin’s face flushed, and just the sight of colour spreading across it made Jon’s heart soar, let alone the implications of why . “Of course I did. I- I’m sorry that you would think I would lie about that, even for something like this. No, Martin, I love you. So very much. And I know you might not feel that way anymore, in which case I am very much embarrassing myself here, but I know that you did at one stage so I hope it won’t make things too awkward between us.” “I do, Jon.”

“What?”

“I do. Still feel that way. I love you too, of course I do. My hero.”

It was Jon’s turn to feel his face flush, pleasant warmth bubbling to the surface. “Oh,” was all he managed to stutter out.

“Can I- Jon do you mind if I…” Martin trailed off again, and Jon began to think this might be a recurring theme between them. He’d make it work. He was pretty good at reading Martin, and the eyeline pointed directly at his lips made intentions quite clear.

“Is- Would just the cheek be okay?” He replied. It didn’t really feel like the time for a full run down on where boundaries lay, but he figured it was a start.

“More than,” Martin said, leaning down to press his lips softly against Jon’s cheek. He lingered for a few seconds, skin largely healed but still chapped from the cold, and it was one of the most beautiful things Jon had ever felt. He slipped one hand into Martin’s, and he felt their fingers twine together.

Martin leaned back, clearly trying to calm his grin into something more close-lipped and calm. “Where to now then?”

“Uhm. Forward, really, is just how I’ve been going. There isn’t any real sense of geography to it, we’ll just…. Get there when we get there.”

“Right. Because nothing can be simple these days.”

Jon missed this. He missed him. But he didn’t have to miss him anymore, did he? He was right there.

He squeezed his hand once, and started leading the way.

#My Post #Jonmartin #The Magnus Archives #I'm maybe pushing this one a little hard but I just. crave validation okay #And I want to see what the difference is between how a fic does as a tumblr post vs ao3 #lets call it science #My Writing #Martin Blackwood #Jonathan Sims

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kaissauce · 3 years

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okay, phucker, do it

ok let's do this @rolli-zolli @ninikins

Horrortale: technically an alternate timeline instead of au. after a neutral run where undyne's queen the core malfunctions and food becomes scarce and people resort to eating humans because sans suggested it. Aliza is the protag. latest thing that happened in the ongoing comic was Aliza agreeing to go with Papyrus to solve his last puzzle. as for the appearance of sans he has a HUGE hole on his head and a red eye. he got the hole from undyne when she got his magic eye which was going to be used to power the core. sans didnt die tho and killed the guards holding him down and just took whatever eye was on the ground and used it as a replacement for his magic eye that's powering the core. i quote first words he said after putting the eye in his socket "who the fuck took my phone?". then the magic eye went apeshit and broke the core again. oh and also he made alphys braindead by quite literally scrambling her brain. yeah this au is rough sans hasn't really eaten anything since the core was destroyed since he decided not to eat any humans.

Dusttale: i think this was originally a korean au? basic rundown: too many genocide runs sans goes apeshit and tries to get his Lv up by killing monsters himself man went fuckin insane kills his brother blah blah blah edgy angsty au the ghost of papyrus haunts him n stuff. sans literally just looks the same except he has his hood on and sometimes artists draw him with papyrus's scarf. the cool artists draw him with his hood on and has the hood completely cover his face so u can only see his glowing pupils. although people call him dust sans he's actually named murder sans

Killer: so frickin similar to dusttale except sans goes apeshit because of the human being like "join me lmao". three different outcomes come from this. i think it was 1 sans joins human 2 sans joins human kills human later on 3 kills human or something. friends with color sans who is basically his impulse control. pretty sure his soul's fucked up and Color sans tries to make his soul un-fucked but Nightmare comes in and fucks up the progress. he has white shorts, his eye sockets are constantly pitch black and leaking tar or something also has a weird target thingy on his chest. OH YEAH ALSO HE HAS BEEF WITH UNDERSWAP SANS ALMOST FORGOT. basically swap sans tried to make killer good and then they had a fight, swap sans lost and was on the verge of dying thankfully swap papyrus was able to save him in time i think

Dreamtale: Dream isn't in the drawing but his brother, Nightmare is. Sooo he used to not look all goooy and have tentacles n stuff but then he ate a couple hundred apples and yeah. he's six years old apparently. Nightmare and Dream are supposed to be guardians of a tree that has 500 golden apples and 500 black n goopy apples. the golden aples are positive and the goop ones are negative. you're not supposed to eat either of them cus bad shit happens. Dream and Nightmare live in a village and for whatever reason they're all dicks to Nightmare because ooughh he's the guardian of negativity that's not baller. he also goes apeshit (do u see a pattern here) and eats a goopy apple n then becomes the goop man he is today. he fuckin eats 999 apples jesus christ. and the last one is eaten by Dream because if u eat all 1000 apples u become unstoppable and immortal. so that would be a bad thing if nightmare got the last one. wop wop wop these dude aren't sanses they only have the body of one if that makes sanse.

Error: manlet. he's literally an error and that's why he's like that. also he's technically not a sans now, the redesign for him was so that he could be in the creator's webcomic named Lucidia. Error sans, aka the destroyer of aus, finds aus to be mistakes so he tries to get rid of them. his process of doing this is simple: get the human soul to the void so that they can't reset, destroy the au. he primarily attacks using his strings which can wrap around one's soul and control them. he like some aus like outertale because of how open and empty it is. he likes to be alone and has haphephobia. if u touch him he'll glitch out and possibly crash. he crashes whenever gets overwhelmed. said crashing causes him to shut down and reboot and he's powerless while doing so. he's actually pretty easy to beat if you know how to push his buttons the right way. in the og ask error blog made by his creator Loverofpiggies he kidnaps Swap sans who tries to help Error become a better person. this ends horribly as error leaves Swap sans in the void who then becomes an error aswell due to being alone in the void too long. Error actually regrets doing that to swap sans

Aftertale: OK FUN FACT THE SANS OF THIS AU, WHO'S NICKNAMED "Geno" IS ERROR. aftertale is a comic made by LoverofPiggies it's been SOOOO long since i last read it so i cant really give a good summary. but anyways Geno is trapped in the loading screen with the human and will die if he leaves the loading screen. eventually from being in the loading screen for too long after the events of aftertale he becomes Error.

OOF WOWIE THERE'S SO MUCH TO GO

Underfresh: he's not even a sans either. "Fresh" is a parasite inhabiting a skeleton. his birthday is on 4/20 which is ironic cus he doesn't like drugs. he censors swears. he speaks 90's lingo and dresses like a neon sign. for some reason he has eyebrows and a gold tooth. the glasses he has can change text but normally defaults to "YOLO". he can't feel anything since he has no soul of his own and just latches onto the host's. instead he learns how to act from the people around him. not being able to feel actually bothers him a LOT

Echotale: Aka Gaster sans. uhhh this one was also a comic if i remember correctly. basically Frisk and G!Sans are the only ones in the au and they're trying to find the core to fix the fucked up timeline that they're in but the core keeps changing positions so that sucks.

Swapfell: originally made by Khhoppang who left social media. Started out as an Alphys x Undyne au so only those two were designed but Kh was planning to design more of the characters. before they could people had a field day with the idea of mashing two aus together and SO many people came up with their own designs for sans and papyrus. Khhoppang left social media because they got overwhelmed with all the art reposters and stuff, pretty sad. the appearance of the sans in that au is the purple one with a scythe (i dont think he has a scythe in the og design).

Swapfell Red: so basically this is the swapfell made by people that isn't Khhoppang. community made per se. Sans's appearance changes constantly because as said before many people made many different designs. typically he just looks like Swap sans but with red high heel boots and his color scheme fits underfell

Fellswap (gold): Au made by blackggggum. so swapfell is underswap turned fell, fell swap is underfell swapped it takes a bit to understand that. his appearance is somewhat similar to Swapfell red. He's kind to his friends but if ur his enemy he'll fucking deck you. he's blind in his left eye, the leader of the royal guard, and secretly into dressmaking. fun fact in this au Papyrus has autism

Xtale: uuuuhhhh so Cross is a complicated one. he's part of the royal guard along with papyrus. has beef with xgaster. responsible for the downfall of his au and then Underverse happens and Ink is all "oh cool someone to mess with" and they became friends for a bit then shit hit the fan

Underfell: OOOOO YES UNIRONICALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITES. So Underfell sans is actually a very powerful mf and constantly has his magic eye activated because he has so much magic. This au is also technically an alternate timeline where monsters "lost their humanity" as the creator put it. so basically trust in the underground is scarce. Sans and papyrus, contrary to many interpretations i fucking hate, are actually on good terms (and no sans doesn't call papyrus "boss" the creator said if he does he'd do it ironically and papyrus would hate it). Fun facts he pays Grillby in socks (grillby accepts the socks as payment and wears them), if u make grillby laugh he gives u a jacket that looks like his and it's heavily implied that sans made him laugh because their jackets are similar

Underswap: ah yes another classic that i love as well. originally made by PopcornPr1nce who fled social media because they hated how the majority fandom treated Underswap (Blueberry and Carrot were popular names for the fanon swap papyrus and sans). Swap sans is constantly infantilized by the community which sucks and i hate it so i draw my own very super cool version of him whom i kin because i am also very super cool.

Outertale: mainly an aesthetic au pretty sure there's no comic of it. basically, instead of underground they in space. outer sans dies in underverse after like minutes of screentime lmao

Epictale: a comic made by Yugogeer. the og comic was retconned and the creator loathes the original version and made a reboot that's much better. Sans actually dies very early in it because Yugo hates how Sans is almost always focused on in aus. also the creator hates how meme-y their sans has become (like him saying bruh every single sentence, using a rubber chicken as a weapon, cookies, etc.) he's friends with Cross but not in canon. He has a purple magic eye that makes him immortal and i think only epic gaster could remove it which is how sans was able to be killed when he fought gaster.

Temmietale: it's undertale but everyone is temmie, don't question it

Trainertale: it's undertale but it's Pokemon, don't question it

Dancetale: it's undertale but you dance instead of fight, don't

Mobtale/Mafiatale: im unsure if mobtale and mafiatale are separate or not but they are very similar. basically undertale but mafia it's self explanatory

Undertale: no clue which au is this one, nope not at all/j

Bittytale or whatever idk: so take sans, make him small. boom. never understood this au

THAT BASTARD INK: HOOO BOY SAVED THE WORST FOR LAST. FUCK THIS GUY/j. THIS DUDE. IS THE REASON IM STILL INTO UNDERTALE AUS. I LOVE EM SO MUCH. also technically not a sans. He comes from an unfinished au and ripped his own soul to escape said au and became an outcode. for so long he was just a soulless husk until someone drew him and he got splashed with paint which let him feel. soon he learned to keep the paint in vials so that he can be able to feel 24/7. And then he learned how to create things with a paintbrush and the paint and spent time alone drawing up his own world until a portal appeared and took him to the multiverse. now he encourages artists to keep creating aus. he's the protector of aus in the sense that he keeps other outcodes from disrupting the script of the au, so if it's pacifist and an outcode tries to kill people he'd stop them, if it's genocide and an outcode tried to help them he'd stop them. no matter what he wants the au to stay on script. fun fact the creator of ink and the creator of error never had them interact with each other in canon, that was all the fandom's doing. Contrary to popular belief he's not really considered "good" his alignment is officially "Chaotic neutral". I personally interpret him a lot more chaotic than in canon because it's fun but he's a pretty chill guy actually. he can just be a bit of an ass sometimes. According to the creator of Ink (who is Comyet) his interpretation in Underverse is not canon compliant. one of the biggest canon things that underverse contradicts is Ink deliberately not taking his vials. if he were to do that in canon he'd become a husk again which is the equivalent of him "dying". he was described as a walking corpse by Comyet, without the vials he can't function anymore. Like Error he's pretty easy to beat if you know his weaknesses. also he has fears of empty spaces and being alone

off topic kinda but i very much love how Error and Ink are opposites yet parallel even though they were completely written without the other in mind. Error believes getting rid of aus is getting rid of anomalies. Ink believes people interfering with aus are anomalies. Error loves emptiness, Ink hates emptiness. list goes on it's funky fresh.

also uhhh sanses missing from that drawing that i can name from the top of my head

Seraphim sans, Insans, Dusttrust, He who shall not be named because he's from an 18+ au, Swapswap (yes. that exists), Storyshift, Inverted Fate (very good au i suggest checking it out), Negatale, Oceantale, Template, Pale, Mafiafell, Farmtale

my phone is at 9% y'all are spared from me going on

#long post #ask #ninikins #rolli zolli

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kaijudyke · 3 years

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hello my friends! as you may or may not be aware i have a healthy obsession with the ballad of tam lin, and today i would like to talk to you about the abundance of parallels between tam lin and star trek deep space nine s02e22 the wire! i will be summarizing the ballad for you so you do not need to be familiar with it! strap in for a long analysis and join me under the cut 💖

1. a summary of the ballad in broad strokes

(all excerpts in this section from child 39A)

tam lin is a scottish folktale about a young woman named janet who goes to the forest of carterhaugh, which is known to be guarded by a fairy called tam lin.

O I forbid you, maidens a', That wear gowd on your hair, To come or gae by Carterhaugh, For young Tam Lin is there.

(janet is aware of this, and goes anyway. one of my favorite running themes in the ballad is janet being incredibly headstrong and cocky.) she picks a few roses, he appears and tells her to stop, she stands up to him, and they end up sleeping together (and, ostensibly, falling in love). she returns home to her father's castle pregnant. her father and the other men at the castle are very concerned about her pregnancy, but she defies them and tells her father that this is her own responsibility and that she'd rather be with tam lin than any human nobleman:

If that I gae wi child, father, Mysel maun bear the blame, There's neer a laird about your ha, Shall get the bairn's name. If my love were an earthly knight, As he's an elfin grey, I wad na gie my ain true-love For nae lord that ye hae.

janet goes back to carterhaugh to pick abortifacient herbs and terminate the pregnancy, since she believes she and tam lin will never be able to be together. tam lin reappears and asks her to stop, and she asks him to tell her more about himself (in many versions she asks him if he's a christian), looking for any reason not to give up on him:

"Why pu's thou the rose, Janet, Amang the groves sae green, And a' to kill the bonny babe That we gat us between?" "O tell me, tell me, Tam Lin," she says, "For's sake that died on tree, If eer ye was in holy chapel, Or christendom did see?"

he tells her that he's human like her, but was taken by the fairy queen as a child. he also says that the fairies pay a tithe to hell every seven years, and he's worried this time they're going to sacrifice him. he tells her how to save him: she must be at miles cross at midnight on all hallow's eve, when the fairies ride by, and she must pull him down from his horse and hold on to him as the fairies change his shape several times.

"They'll turn me in your arms, lady, Into an esk and adder, But hold me fast, and fear me not, I am your bairn's father. "They'll turn me to a bear sae grim, And then a lion bold, But hold me fast, and fear me not, And ye shall love your child. "Again they'll turn me in your arms To a red het gand of airn, But hold me fast, and fear me not, I'll do you nae harm. "And last they'll turn me in your arms Into the burning gleed, Then throw me into well water, O throw me in with speed. "And then I'll be your ain true-love, I'll turn a naked knight, Then cover me wi your green mantle, And hide me out o sight."

(the exact details of the transformations vary between versions, but some of the most common shapes he has to go through are adder, newt, lion, hot coal, and burning iron. if you're interested in the variations, i highly recommend this page!) once the transformations are done, he instructs her to wrap him in her green cloak, after which the fairies won't have a claim to him anymore. janet follows his instructions and successfully saves him, much to the dismay of the fairy queen.

2. janet, julian, and their relationships

whichever version of tam lin you are reading, janet is a character with a ton of agency. she has no qualms about encroaching on tam lin's territory (in fact she tells him in no uncertain terms that the forest is hers), and there is some indication that she might have gone to carterhaugh specifically because she wanted to sleep with tam lin; she's said to be wearing a green dress, and since the color green was associated with the fae, wearing green to a fairy wood is pretty clearly inviting their attention. (in medieval literature, green was also sometimes associated with love and sex.)

it's not hard to draw a parallel between janet's decision to pursue tam lin despite the danger he represents and julian's immediate fascination with garak in past prologue even though (or rather because) he suspects him to be a spy. also of note is that janet and tam lin's relationship begins with an argument, where her willingness to challenge him seems to be what draws him to her. one of my favorite retellings, by james p. spence, emphasizes this:

‘I'm here tae guard these woods, tae see that naebodie nor nothing disturbs their peace.’ ‘An was it ma father that gave ye such a job?’ ‘Naw it wasnae.’ ‘Weel, there ye are then. It should be you that's asking ma permission tae set foot in these woods, because it is ma father that owns them.’ Then the young man's face rose up intae a smile that seemed many a long year since it was last there. (scottish borders folk tales, james p. spence, p. 114-115)

i'm sure i don't need to tell you that this is reminiscent not only of garak and julian's fondness for debate but of the way cardassians show romantic interest. more than that, though, i think there's something to be said for the way these relationships are treated by other people in the characters' lives. janet's father and his knights are troubled by her pregnancy, and they clearly think she should be with a normal, respectable man, preferably one of said knights, given that she feels the need to remark "There's neer a knight about your ha / Shall hae the bairnie's name." (child 39I) in the wire, when julian tells jadzia he wishes garak would trust him, she replies "why should he? it's not like the two of you are really friends." julian's friends do not understand why he spends so much time with garak—a cardassian, a spy, an outcast, someone who can't be trusted.

in both cases it's easy enough to see where they're coming from; being pregnant out of wedlock with a fairy's child is certainly not an ideal situation for a young noblewoman to find herself in, and it's remarkably foolish for a starfleet officer to have regular lunch dates with someone he believes to be an enemy spy. but janet and julian are both stubborn, and more interested in what's adventurous and exciting than what's good for them. (remember that, like janet knowingly going to pick roses in a forest guarded by fairies, julian wanted the position on ds9 because he wanted to try his hand at "frontier medicine"; misguided as he may have been, his thirst for adventure is the reason he's even on the station to begin with.)

3. fairyland, the obsidian order, and enabran tain

in the ballad, tam lin is abducted by the fairy queen when he's a child. she takes him to a magical realm where he feels no pain and is far removed from human worries.

And we that live in faeryland, No sickness know, nor pain, I quit my body when I will, And take to it again. (j. holm, verse 32)

garak has been enabran tain's protégé since he was very young. as an operative of the obsidian order, he's been trained to be cool under pressure, to play his cards close to his chest, and to avoid sentimentality and attachment. the plot of the episode hinges entirely on a device implanted in his brain that keeps him from feeling pain. to save his life, julian has to remove the implant, metaphorically rescuing him from fairyland and the influence of the queen who stole him away from the human world. the fairy queen is very possessive of tam lin and very disdainful of his feelings for janet; in many versions of the ballad, after janet successfully rescues him, the fairy queen remarks that if she'd known this would happen, she would have plucked out his eyes and replaced them with wood, or taken his heart and replaced it with stone.

"But had I kend, Tam Lin," said she, "What now this night I see, I wad hae taen out thy twa grey een, And put in twa een o tree." (child 39A, verse 42) 'Had I but kend, Thomas,' she says, 'Before I came frae hame, I had taen out that heart o flesh, Put in a heart o stane.' (child 39B, verse 41)

much like tain tried and failed to mold garak into the perfect emotionless spy, the fairy queen very literally wants to remove tam lin's ability to feel love, because his emotions make him harder for her to control, and in the end are what lead him to escape her clutches entirely. garak and tam lin are both saved by the same thing: their transgressive love for their rescuer, and the fierce, unconditional love they receive in return.

4. hold me fast and fear me not

the central event of the tam lin ballad, of course, is the transformation scene. i'm sure it's what makes the ballad stick in people's minds; it certainly is for me. there's something so deeply romantic about the phrase "hold me fast and fear me not," and about the idea of loving someone so much that you'll hold on to them even as they turn into a beast in your arms. the wire doesn't have as literal a transformation scene as tam lin, but i would argue that it certainly has one.

after julian removes garak's implant (which we can equate to pulling tam lin down from his horse), garak goes through withdrawal. he becomes, by turns, depressed, and angry, and spiteful, and violent. throughout the episode, we see him try to drive julian away. he refuses his help; he insults him; he tells him contradictory stories about his past, all designed to shock him; when none of this succeeds at discouraging him, he physically lashes out.

julian, however, doesn't budge. he isn't fooled by the shapes garak contorts himself into. he takes every change in stride, never wavering in his determination to save him. every person garak claims to be, julian accepts. like janet defying the fairy queen for love of tam lin, he goes as far as to enter cardassian territory and seek out enabran tain in order to save garak's life. when he believes he's about to die, garak tells julian he needs to know that someone forgives him; "i forgive you," julian says, "for whatever it is you did." whatever kind of beast garak is—whatever kind of beast tain has turned him into—julian will not let go of his hand. he will hold him fast.

He grew into her arms two Like iron in hot fire; She held him fast, let him not go, He was her heart's desire. (child 39D, verse 31)

the basic structure of these stories is the same: the main character finds out that the person they love is in immediate danger due to something they went through when they were younger, which fundamentally changed them as a person and is also keeping the two from being together. unwilling to lose their love, they brave the wrath of a powerful villain who's controlled this person's life for a long time. there are undeterred by the frightening changes the person goes through. in the end, they are victorious, and their beloved is free.

5. my dear doctor, they're all true

a closing statement: tam lin is a folktale. like any folktale, there are many, many versions of it, often contradicting each other. there is no definitive version of tam lin (though child 39A may be the most famous). you're free to read every available version of the story, finding meaning not only in the most commonly reoccurring themes, but also in which parts of the text speak to you. like garak's contradictory stories about his life, while it's hard to say whether any one element is true, every element tells you something—about the story, or about the person who tells it. my view of these story parallels is heavily influenced by my own personal interpretation of, and feelings about, the ballad. as it should be.

#star trek #deep space nine #ds9 #star trek deep space nine #star trek ds9 #garashir #julian bashir #elim garak #talk tag #trek talk tag #i feel like i sound very pretentious in this but fuck it i am pretentious

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gthreepio · 4 years

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i’ve been thinking about the future of the mcu and realized there’s a LOT that i didn’t know/didn’t remember in terms of where things are going so i figured i’d sum it up incase anyone else was in the same boat!!

quick recap of (unresolved) mid-credit scenes:

doctor strange: mordo (a sorcerer that is one of strange’s mentors, who by the end of the movie becomes disillusioned with magic/the ancient one and quits) confronts pangborn (the paraplegic who healed himself with the mystic arts, who tells strange about mystic arts in the first place) and steals his magic because according to mordo, there are “too many sorcerers." of note, this guy is typically a villain in the comics but hasn’t been thus far...

gotg2: ayesha (leader of the sovereign, a golden skinned alien race obsessed with genetic purity), after spending most of the movie chasing the guardians for stealing some stuff, is revealed to have created an artificial being named “adam” which is presumably, adam warlock. (other stuff that is less relevant: kraglin appears to take up yondu’s mantle; the ravagers regroup and several old and obscure comic book characters are introduced [charlie-27, aleta, martinex, mainframe]; the watchers are watching things.)

far from home: j jonah jameson basically tells the whole world spider-man’s secret identity, and frames him for what happened with mysterio....making him public enemy #1. ALSO, turns out nick fury and maria hill in the movie were ACTUALLY the two skrulls from captain marvel (talos and soren) attempting to do their job, while the real fury (and presumably hill) is ... up in space on some spaceship!!!

wandavision: monica (who we can assume is photon) is called by “an old friend of [her] mother’s,” up in space, which presumably means fury, talos, or carol. ALSO, wanda sits in the middle of nowhere reading the darkhold and hears the voices of her children who.. by all accounts, should not exist.

aaaaand what we know about future movies (i’m not even going into the tv series.....):

black widow:

takes place after civil war

nat confronts a “dangerous conspiracy with ties to her past,” likely has to do with taskmaster who has apparently taken over the red room where nat was trained as an assassin

prominent new characters: yelena belova, who will take over the mantle of black widow after this; alexei shostakov aka red guardian, an ollllld marvel hero analogous to captain america except for the soviet union.

tony stark will make an appearance... SOBS

shang-chi and the legend of the ten rings:

shang-chi has never been seen in the mcu before, but he is, essentially, a superhero that is a master martial artist, and in some adaptations can also create duplicate (fake) versions of himself to confuse opponents

main villain will be the the mandarin who we have *sort of* seen before... he is the leader of a terrorist organization called “ten rings” whose main goal is to destroy world peace. brief history -- in iron man 1: one ten rings cell kidnaps tony stark and tries to force him to make weapons (he of course, makes his suit instead). stark and ten rings become enemies and fight a bunch. nat and nick fury fight them too. in iron man 3, the villain aldrich killian hires a dude to pretend to be the mandarin and claim responsibility for a bunch of stuff, but its not the ten rings or the mandarin at all. this makes the mandarin v mad and he has a dude kidnap the faker to punish him. they also briefly show up in ant-man, when a ten rings agent tries to buy the yellowjacket suit that darren cross is selling. BUT IN SHANG-CHI....... looks like we are FINALLY going to see the real mandarin after over a decade!!

the villain razor fist will also show up, he is lesser known... he has no superhuman powers but he has surgically replaced his hands (1 or 2, depending on the version) with a steel blade, and is highly skilled at hand to hand combat.

besides the presence of these characters, the only bit of plot we know is “shang-chi is drawn into the ten rings organization and forced to confront his past.” so... yeah. we don’t know much at all.

eternals:

quick explanation: the eternals are an immortal alien race who have been secretly living on earth for thousands of years. they were created by the celestials, who are most prominently in gotg2.

more entirely new characters!!! their names are: thena, who can form any weapon out of cosmic energy; gilgamesh, who can make a super strong exoskeleton out of cosmic energy; ikaris, who has superhuman strength, flies, and can project cosmic energy out his eyes; kingo, who can shoot cosmic energy projectiles from his hands; makkari, who creates sonic booms, has super speed, and is deaf; phastos, who has enhanced intelligence, and is also gay (and married with a kid!); ajak, who has healing powers; sprite, who can project illusions; sersi, who can manipulate matter; druig, who can mind control; and dane whitman (black knight), a human with a mystical sword.

regarding the plot... it seems the eternals have kind of dispersed, but have to come together again to fight the deviants, who are their “evil counterparts” (also created by the celestials, though i’m unclear on why). thena and gilgamesh have apparently been in exile, unclear why; sersi, who is posing as a museum curator, has apparently been in love with ikaris for centuries and it seems as if their love story may be central to the film; and kingo is a bollywood film star in his spare time. aaaaand that’s pretty much all we know.

directed by chloé zhao of nomadland fame!

spider-man no way home:

based on the post-credits scene in far from home, peter parker will now be known as spider-man to everyone. unclear if he’s going to be seen as a bad guy due to mysterio framing him, but i guess we’ll see!

jamie foxx is electro, and alfred molina is doctor octopus; which is VERY interesting considering they played these roles in other spider-man franchises, once again stirring up excitement for possible multiverse.

there have been *multiple* reports that andrew garfield, kirsten dunst, tobey maguire, and emma stone will be in the movie but tom holland has repeatedly denied this... so... who knows.

there are also rumors that matt murdock / daredevil (from netflix) will be in several scenes! not confirmed though.

MJ is still his girlfriend and i hope it stays that way!!

doctor strange will be featured in the movie, taking on the mentor role now that tony stark is gone :( this will be interesting as i.. haven’t really seen them interact much before. because of this inclusion some people speculate that the film may draw inspo from some comic storylines where peter’s secret identity is restored with magic.

doctor strange in the multiverse of madness:

scarlet witch is essentially co-starring!!! it’s going to be really interesting to see if they bring vision or the twins into this at all, though i’m not counting on it.

seems like mordo will be the main villain -- recall the ds1 post credits scene where he is apparently running around trying to steal people’s magic.

america chavez will make her debut!!!!!! i have no idea how this plays into anything but i am so excited!!

regarding the plot, all we really know is that strange has been researching the time stone, mordo messes with him, and this results in him accidentally unleashing “unspeakable evil.” presumably there will also be heavy involvement of the multiverse, and who knows what kind of craziness that will bring!!

initially was going to be directed by scott derrickson who did ds1; however he stepped down to being just EP due to “creative differences.” i am presuming this is because derrickson really wanted to make this more gothic and horror than disney was comfortable with. i REALLY hope they keep some of those elements though and don’t erase the idea entirely! anyway, it will be directed by sam raimi now (of evil dead and spiderman 2002 fame).

the film also reportedly ties in with the loki series (will loki show up!?) and spiderman 3 (which is obvious enough, given that strange is in that movie and those curious electro and doctor octopus castings...)

thor: love and thunder

directed by taika waititi again, hell yeah!!! and he has stated, the film will be “so over the top now in the very best way" and would make ragnarok look like a "run of the mill, very safe film" .... so.... oh god

so many great returning players!!! including.... valkyrie (now the king of new asgard), jane foster, lady sif, korg, star-lord, mantis, drax, nebula, and kraglin (takes up yondu’s mantle after he dies in gotg2)

in this movie, thor isn’t thor anymore.... it’s JANE!!! she gets cancer :( and is undergoing treatment while simultaneously being thor. i’m a little nervous how this will be handled, but i’m excited. (it’s based off an amazing comic series by jason aaron)

the big bad: gorr the god butcher, played by christian bale! the gist of it is, this dude HATES gods because nobody helped when his family was dying and in need. his weapon is “all-black the necrosword,” forged from the head of a celestial, and allows the user to create wings and fly at extreme speeds. honestly, he sounds cool as fuck.

valkyrie is going to be made canonically bisexual!!!

it will explore more of korg’s backstory, and also include... space sharks!?!?! an alien race from the comics.

taika has called the script “very romantic” so take that as you will

black panther 2

will again be directed by ryan coogler

not much is known at this point, does not have an official name

t’challa will NOT be recast (which i’m happy about) so..... honestly no idea what to expect for this one. i think we can probably expect shuri to have an expanded role. all we know so far is they will be “exploring the world of wakanda.” not clear to me how this is different from the upcoming wakanda D+ series.

tenoch huerta has reportedly been cast as a villain, but no one has any idea who. there’s also rumors that donald glover is in “informal talks” to play a role. note all of this is unconfirmed.

captain marvel 2

will be directed by nia da costa (candyman!) and written by megan mcdonnell, who is one of wandavision’s best writers!

will take place in the present day

will feature kamala khan / ms. marvel, monica rambeau / photon!!! this will be so interesting.... kamala is a huge fan of carol’s in the comics, she is her mentor/idol. the ms. marvel series will also resportedly lead into cm2. and monica, well, monica knew her when she was a little kid. wandavision implies that there’s some bad blood between carol and monica though, not sure why. maybe because carol left and never came back? (until endgame)

post-credits scene of wandavision appears to tie into this, having monica go up into space at the reqeust of her “mom’s old friend.” again, not clear who that is. this could also be a tie in to secret invasion though, so we’ll see. or both.

zawe ashton has been cast as an unknown villain... a lot of people are actually speculating that she may play rogue? which would be fascinating, as there’s a comic arc where rogue steals her powers and memories. BUT there’s still no confirmation that X-men exist in the MCU so for now i remain skeptical.

they are looking to cast a ‘john boyega’ or ‘michael b jordan’ type which makes me wonder if they are going to create a new character, a “younger” war machine to be her love interest? (note: carol and rhodey are a huge thing in comics!) carol obviously does not look her age but her and don cheadle.... that just doesn’t work. which is why i wonder.

ant-man and the wasp: quantumania

in addition to scott and hope, pretty much all the major players are returning including: luis, hank pym, janet van dyne

cassie lang has been recast with an actress 5 years older, which is really making me wonder if they are going to make her stinger in this movie! (aka one of the main young avengers)

the villain: kang the conqueror! this dude time travels. original name nate richards. in the comics, kang travels back in time to rescue his younger self (nate) from an attack that would help shape him towards a life of villainy. kang also gives him some fancy armor. his younger self actually is like, what the fuck dude? and renounces his destiny, becoming a hero. and he makes his armor look like iron man, calling himself iron lad. who is a young avenger. which also makes me wonder about cassie lang.

otherwise not much is known!

guardians of the galaxy vol. 3

james gunn is returning, i’m mixed about this...he really does *get* the guardians though.

based on the gotg2 post credits scene, i think we can assume adam warlock will be a HUGE part of this. there are multiple versions of him, some villainous and some heroic, but no idea how this is gonna turn out.

no word yet on whether thor will be involved, or if those ravagers they introduced will be involved.

fantastic four

will be directed by the spiderman guy, john watts.

otherwise we know literally nothing.

aaaaand that’s the roundup!

#mcu #marvel #black widow #shang chi and the legend of the ten rings #eternals #smnwh #spiderman: no way home #doctor strange in the multiverse of madness #dsitmom #thor: love and thunder #tlat #black panther 2 #captain marvel 2 #ant man and the wasp: quantumania #amatwq #guardians of the galaxy vol. 3 #gotg3 #fantastic four #mcu thoughts

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mallowstep · 3 years

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okay, i got an ask about an alternative to the misty au where leopardstar helps rescue the mistyfoot and featherpaw, so tigerstar ends up punishing her instead, and here's my answer:

cw: sexual assault, parents/children being involved in sexual assault

I had a horrible no good about the Misty AU where Leopardstar helped them escape and....Tigerstar took one of her lives, then...sexually assaulted her while making Mudfur watch until he was sure she was with kits and then he told Mudfur: "Maybe she'll go the same way as her mother." (If this is too dark I apologize immensely.)

hello, anon. let's talk, shall we?

cursory things out of the way, i generally don't mind what people put into my inbox. that said, if you're unsure, you can always ask first. i try to answer "housekeeping" qs as soon as i can.

now, onto the ask itself.

god DAMN is this an idea. poor mudfur. he doesn't deserve going through this. nor does leopardstar.

but like. here's the THING. we were talking about tigerstar's power a while ago and -- he's actually not maximizing his usage of it.

see, he has a thunderclan pov. in thunderclan, leaders and deputies are supposed to be -- a team. that's why they're so often mentors and apprentices. because they're supposed to fight side by side. it's supposed to be a very close relationship.

if you read mtbnsof,

"They will be slaughtered," he said, and really, she should have learned her lesson, because he lunged again, and this time, it wasn't for her shoulders — it hurt, blinding, and her eyes shut — and opened. Squirrelstar was bleeding, but she was still alive. Rosepetal had tackled Bramblestar, before he could complete the blow.

that's like -- the model thunderclan deputy. you're supposed to pick a deputy who you are that close with.

that's (part of) why tigerclaw's betrayal hurts bluestar so much.

but in riverclan -- the leader represents all of riverclan, and the deputy is, their enforcer, perhaps?

they're still a team, and still one of the very close relationships, but you're more likely to see friends and siblings chosen, with the goal of -- balancing each other out.

a thunderclan leader and deputy should not publicly disagree. but a riverclan leader and deputy might.

so -- when tigerstar has stonefur killed, he's trying to prove that he has such power over leopardstar that she wouldn't even intervene to save her own deputy. which does work, but it's not the most effective way to control riverclan.

the most effective way to control riverclan would be to get both leopardstar and stonefur on his side, and then have leopardstar defer to him.

uh. so uh. what's the best way to do that, then? well.

tigerstar just has to threaten mistyfoot and the apprentices to keep stonefur obedient. "just has to" i mean ig what i'm saying is. if your family's lives are on the line, you're pretty damn willing to go along with things.

but -- how does he. win leopardstar.

he has kits with her.

because -- well First of All if riverclan's leader is riverclan, then the leader's kits are -- the future of riverclan. so if leopardstar has kits with tigerstar, then riverclan's future is tigerclan. yeah?

Second of All leopardstar is known to not want kits and not like toms, right? like -- riverclan leaders are under a fair amount of pressure to have kits because that is the future of riverclan.

and she's not leader for long enough for that all to play out, but she was the deputy for a while, and -- riverclan knows her. they know how she feels.

so. no matter how well tigerstar hides it -- riverclan will know that it's not voluntary.

and -- leopardstar is riverclan.

but like i just -- okay so god. this is. fljksd;lal;f; j. back on topic to the actual ask -- it's a very very interesting story. not something i Personally would write i don't think, because. i'm not sure i would do a very good job of it? i don't think i am -- sufficiently visceral, i suppose.

and this feels like something where. you'd want mudfur's realizations.

i think it'd be a punishment for him too, wouldn't it? he must have helped them escape. he must have known.

i think for me. like when i was writing "after the foxes have known our taste," one of the...one of the sections i was most -- invested in? was these two paragraphs.

"To talk." Leopardstar sits next to him, pulling herself in, like if she makes herself smaller, she will absolve herself of the guilt she carries. (And he knows she carries it. He was barely her deputy for a season, but he has known her his whole life. She will never say it — and because she never will, Mistyfoot will never forgive her — but he sees it in her shoulders.) "We used to be friends."

and then

Leopardstar nods, draws herself together. She looks like herself, again. Regal. Not for the first time, Stonefur thinks that Leopardstar would have made a more striking image on the Bonehill.

i think. leopardstar makes the decisions she makes for the good of her clan

(and oh, tigerstar would use that against her.

"Don't you care about the future, Leopardstar? There are no more kits in the nursery.")

and so in that moment with stonefur, she's...turning to who was supposed to be her counterbalance, and trading all of her pride and strength for vulnerability. and when stonefur -- not rejects her, but tells her he's not ready, she returns to Leopardstar of Riverclan.

but mudfur is her father. the moment of vulnerability with him in denouncement is

"Come with us," she says, pleading. She feels like a kit, begging her father to let her leave camp. "There will always be a space for you in RiverClan." "I thought I taught you better than that," he says, and there is warmth in his voice, like sun on water. "There is no point in keeping spent bones." Leopardstar cracks. She presses her muzzle into him, breathing his scent, past the herbs and illness that clings to him. "Please don't leave me," she says, even though she is the one who is leaving.

and -- while that's not misty au canon, there's a reason that at the end of "the blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine," mudfur tells leopardstar she has work to do.

because by the time mistyfoot and featherpaw do escape, leopardstar has already, in mudfur's eyes, transgressed far beyond the forgiveable.

but now -- his daughter is hurt. and she's -- does she want his comfort? or does she try to be leopardstar of riverclan?

yeah. that's. some good emotional stuff to dip into.

i have -- tawnypelt to explore these ideas with. uh. tbisrasacw contains. sufficient implications but -- mistyfoot's treatment is uncomfortably public.

that's gonna come up again later, i think, but in tawnypelt's first fic, which i'm still toying with official titles for, but has the provisional title of "see them starving in the street," but uh there's a few ideas that it tackles.

all of these tackle -- several ideas. "heaven and hell were words to me" is probably the most, singular plot line of the fic. there's a reason i started with featherpaw's fic and not mistyfoot's.

tbisrasacw balances featherpaw and mistyfoot, and atfhkot is sliding between all of these different cats with moments of what stonefur feels peaking through.

i'm still deciding if i'm publishing "i didn't care much how long i lived" (feathertail) or "like this morning reveals to me" (stonefur) tonight, but idcmhlil is about featherpaw's relationships to other cats, so it naturally pulls in a lot of ideas, and ltmrtm is mistyfoot from stonefur's perspective, which means it necessarily pulls in many ideas.

but stsits is -- one character, many threads. tawnypaw's want to be accepted contrasted with her instictive horror contrasted with her belief that there is no going back contrasted with grappling with the fact that her father is -- uh. mistyfoot.

yeah.

and i don't know. i think. if tigerstar were to punish mudfur via leopardstar, that's one thing. but another thing is like -- depending on his precise interpretations, he could -- force mudfur to. be on "his side."

isolate him from leopardstar.

after all, the reason tigerstar fosters mistyfoot and featherpaw together is because it allows him to win mistyfoot's unthinking loyalty. but tigerstar has all of riverclan to threaten.

("You'll have my kits," he says, smirking. "Do you know why, Leopardstar? Because if something happens to this litter -- I'll take your worthless apprentice and kill her.")

he could -- turn mudfur. not actually, but make leopardstar believe he is.

("You deserve this," Mudfur says, and he is going to hell for this.

Tigerstar doesn't respond, and Leopardstar's ears pin back.

"Tell me, Mudfur, was her mother this pathetic?"

I'll take every last life from her, Mudfur, Tigerstar had threatened. Maybe I'll make you take one. Test me. It'll be fun to see her bleed again.

"Yes," he says, and Brightsky won't forgive him. I'm sorry, he thinks, but it's too late for that.)

i think -- in the misty au, tigerstar takes leopardstar's den. but he'd share it with her.

one of my favourite moments in tbirasacw is

She turns her head, meeting his eyes. He leans back, exposing his stomach, and Mistyfoot takes a moment to consider how easy it would be to tear him open. But she won't, and that's the point.

which you know. the forced intimacy and kindness.

(Tigerstar licks Leopardstar's cheek.

"Leopardfur," he purrs, his tail tucking around her.)

and more name shenanigans, because of course he would. if you've learned anything from this, it's that matthew likes contrasting kindness and violence, and matthew likes name shenanigans.

name shenanigans he would definitely pull mudfur in on.

("You'll call her what I tell you to call her," Tigerstar growls. He puts his paw over Mudfur's. "If I tell you to call her Leopardfur, you call her Leopardfur. You should be grateful I'm not telling you to call her a whore.")

i dunno What everyone would do when tigerclan was over. riverclan would have a Hell of a time.

leopardstar would probably appoint mistyfoot deputy and they'd -- grow closer together.

mistyfoot gave everything she had for featherpaw, and leopardstar paid the same price for the both of them. i think that is -- an apology in its own way.

(Mistyfoot sits with her when she gives birth. Mudfur reminds himself Brightsky was sick. That she did not die because of the kitting. Most queens don't.

Stonefur sits outside the den. Mudfur waits in his own, because he thinks he can't bear to know what he has done to his daughter.)

hm. yes. interesting idea to explore. i appreciate this ask.

#ask #anon #misty au #or adjacent #technically not misty au but like #it's related #it's relevant #if you're in the misty au tag you might be interested #leopard au #look it has an au tag now

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iam93percentstardust · 4 years

Note

For your prompt requests - SteveTony - Steve is Tony's bodyguard 💗

Fair warning, Tony is a bit of an asshole in this one because I think it probably took him some time to become a nicer person, even after Afghanistan

Also on ao3 here

It’s after the third assassin that Tony thinks something might be going on.

Kidnapping, assassination attempts, they’re all part and parcel of being a high profile, multi-billionaire who used to be the Army’s number one defense contractor. But he’s pretty sure that three attempts on his life in two weeks is a little high, even for someone like him who was named People’s Most Eligible Kidnappee three years in a row. Stupid Bruce making stupid comments to stupid reporters about how many times he gets stupidly kidnapped.

“What does Bruce know?” he grumbles. “He lives in stupid Gotham.”

He glances down at the latest would-be killer, knocked out by DUM-E with his favorite fire extinguisher, and nudges him with the toe of his shoe. “You’re not dead, are you? Cause that’s a lot of paperwork to fill out if you are and I think we all know how I feel about that.”

The assassin groans and twitches.

DUM-E helpfully sprays him with the fire extinguisher again.

Tony snickers and calls for Happy to come grab the assassin and haul him off to jail probably. Now that he’s thinking about it, it’s probably good that Pepper isn’t his Head of Security. She’s not nearly as nice as Happy is.

“Come on, Hap, you’re falling down on the job here,” he chides as Happy throws the guy over his shoulder. “You’re supposed to be the Head of Security. You’re not doing much securiting—securitizing—”

“Securing,” Happy says. “And you transferred me to Miss Potts a month ago.”

“Oh yeah.” He pouts for a moment. “Why did I do that?”

“Because you were trying to draw out Mr. Stane.”

“Right,” he says, mood falling. He’d forgotten about Obie—Obadiah—Stane. Doesn’t know how, it’s not like Stane was arrested only two weeks ago or anything. “Come on, Tony,” he mutters. That two weeks is sticking out in his mind for some reason. Two…weeks…two weeks. “Pull your head out of your ass. J?”

“Sir?”

“Am I right in thinking that the first assassin was two weeks ago?”

“Exactly thirteen days.”

“Right. And Stane was arrested when?”

“Court records show he was arrested fifteen days ago.”

He nods to himself. Two days between Stane’s arrest and the first assassin showing up. He’d be willing to be that that’s enough time both for Stane to put out a hit on him and for word to get around.

“Put in a call to our favorite SHIELD director, would you, J?” he asks.

He doesn’t hear the phone ringing—JARVIS would never be as common as that—but it’s still a good thirty seconds before he hears Nick Fury demand, “How did you get this number?”

“So you remember when you arrested Stane and you said the Ten Rings might have only been the beginning?” he asks without bothering to introduce himself. There’s a reason his nametag at conferences says You Know Who I Am instead of his actual name. Everyone knows who he is, especially the director of a major spy agency that Tony’s dad helped found.

Fury’s silent for a moment. “How many assassins?” he asks eventually.

This is why Tony likes him. No nonsense, no frills, just a straight-up question. “Three so far.”

“And I’ll bet more are on the way,” Fury says grimly. Tony doesn’t bother agreeing. They both know Fury’s right. “I’m sending an agent to you.”

“What? No, absolutely not,” he protests. “I don’t need a babysitter.”

“Clearly you do.”

“No,” he says stubbornly. “I’ll just send them back.”

“You do that. Send back as many agents as you like. And I’ll keep sending more until you stop. Hopefully, you won’t be dead by then.”

Tony scowls and hangs up.

He rejects the first agent just on principle. He refuses to have anyone who looks as boring as Agent Coulson does anywhere around him.

He rejects the second one after two days because he’s pretty sure she’s sending information about him back to Fury. He’s already had one gorgeous lady steal corporate secrets from him. He doesn’t need Natasha Romanoff doing the same thing almost fifteen years later.

He actually likes Agent Barton but Pepper takes one look at him and flatly says, “No.”

“Aww why not?” Clint whines.

“I have enough to deal with. I don’t need you encouraging Tony to blow up the house on top of it.”

Yeah, that’s probably fair.

The fourth one, unlike the other agents Fury has sent, is actually already in his house by the time Tony gets back after his dinner with Rhodey. “Security breach! That’s on you,” he says snidely to Pepper who’s standing beside the man, explaining the Jackson Pollock painting in front of them, the one that Tony thinks looks like a mess but Pepper is enthralled by.

“Tony!” Pepper says with that smile that tells him to behave. “This is Agent Rogers. SHIELD sent him.”

Tony glances at him and then narrows his eyes. He points at him with the stylus of the tablet he’d been using. “I know you. Why do I know you?” he asks.

Agent Rogers blushes—pretty blush, Tony notes absently—but valiantly says, “I was on the team that rescued you in Afghanistan.”

Oh yeah. Now he remembers that insane shoulder-to-waist ratio. “That’s right. You were the one with the shield.” And the one who had picked him back up after Yinsen had been hit but he doesn’t like to think about that. “The new Captain America.”

“That’s me,” Rogers agrees.

“Fury ever tell you Howard used to work with the last one? About broke his heart when he found the guy frozen to death.”

“Tony!” Pepper snaps.

He winces. He swears he’s trying to be a better person, even if he doesn’t always succeed. “Sorry. That was insensitive, wasn’t it?”

Rogers opens his mouth but Pepper beats him to it. “Yes, it was.”

“Sorry,” he mutters again. “I’m trying.”

Pepper just glares at him but Rogers’ face softens. “Steve Rogers, sir,” he says, holding out his hand.

Tony glances at it and shoves his own into his pocket. “Yeah, I don’t like to be handed things.”

To his credit, Rogers doesn’t even hesitate, just says, “Alright then. Any questions for me?”

“Star Wars or Star Trek?” he says immediately.

“Well, they’re not really comparable, are they?” Rogers says without missing a beat. “Just because they both have ‘star’ in the name doesn’t mean they’re related to each other.”

“They’re both set in space,” Tony points out but inwardly he’s delighted. He would have accepted Star Trek as an answer but this is better than he could have hoped for.

Rogers doesn’t look impressed. “One of them is about science and exploration and the other is about imperialism and war. They’re not the same.”

Tony grins and tells Pepper, “I think we’re going to get along just fine.” He turns back to Rogers. “Tony Stark but everyone calls me Tony. Except for Pepper. She calls me ‘What did I do to deserve this?’”

Rogers laughs, a bright smile lighting up his gorgeous face. Tony tells himself that his heart doesn’t flutter but it resolutely does anyway, that traitor. “Steve Rogers but everyone calls me Steve. Except for my best friend. He calls me a punk.”

“Are you?”

“Absolutely. Doesn’t mean he’s gotta be a jerk about it.”

A slowly dawning look of horror is spreading across Pepper’s face and he thinks she might be realizing that Steve is probably gonna be even worse than Barton was. Too bad. She’s the one who sent him away.

“Steve,” Tony says. “Welcome to the team.”

“Pleasure to be working with you, Tony.”

#alle writes #alle answers #tony stark #pre-relationship #if you like please consider reblogging #missmoodybear

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ceealaina · 4 years

Text

Title: Still Anticipating Love Collaborator Name: ceealaina Card Number: 3088 Link: AO3 Square Filled: Adopted - Cock-Blocking Bots Ship: IronHusbands Rating: Teen Major Tags: 5 + 1, Fluff and Humour, Protective Bots, Love Confessions Gone Wrong Summary: Five (plus one) different times over the years that Rhodey's attempted to show Tony how he feels about him, only to end up foiled by the bots. (But it's hard to really be upset when they just happen to love Tony as much as Rhodey does.) Word Count: 3993

Rhodey drew in slow, deep breaths as he made his way across campus, doing his best to quell the fireworks that seemed to be going off in his stomach. After spending months ignoring his feelings, and then a few more weeks dancing around them, and then a few days finally coming to terms with it, he had decided that this was it. Today was the day that he was going to tell Tony about his feelings for him.

He almost turned back three different times, his nerves getting the better of him. But somehow he made himself keep going, and before he knew it he was standing in front of the door to Tony’s rented lab space, drawing in one last deep breath for courage.

“Tones?” he called, stepping through the doorway. “You in here?”

“Rhodey!” Tony popped up from behind a table, face lit up in manic delight. “Just the man I wanted to see!” He practically bounced across the room, grabbing his arm and getting all up in his space in a way that made Rhodey swallow hard and fight back a shiver. “I did it, honeybear!”

“Did what?”

“Just… Just watch, wait.” He pulled Rhodey back closer to the door, and then made a show of clearing his throat. “Dum-E?” he called, and the machine he’d been working on for months lit up. “Come here!”

Dum-E whirred to life and then, to Rhodey’s surprise, he started rolling across the floor -- in the opposite direction to Tony and Rhodey.

“Shit, no!” Tony protested, but he was laughing and sounded pleased. “Wrong way, you doofus, over here.”

There was a pause, and then Dum-E spun on his wheels and started trundling over, going the right way this time. He stilled when he reached them, and Tony threw his arms around the claw neck.

“Aw yeah,” Tony crooned. “You did it, Dum-E! Who’s my big strong robot, huh?”

He turned to Rhodey then, his entire face lit up in a bright, beaming smile, looking as happy as he’d ever seen him. Rhodey couldn’t have kept himself from smiling back if he tried, feeling a little weak in the face of it. He could hear his own heartbeat, pounding in his ears, and god, he just loved him so much.

“I did it, Rhodey,” Tony was saying. “He responds to voice commands. I built a learning, thinking robot. And the wrong direction thing was just a glitch, I swear. He’s gonna get so much better.”

He was watching Rhodey expectantly, that hopeful look on his face that Rhodey knew meant he just wanted someone to be proud of him, even if he’d never admit that out loud, and Rhodey knew this wasn’t the right time to tell him. Feeling a weird mixture of relief and disappointment, Rhodey beamed back at him. “He’s already perfect, Tones,” he assured him, wrapping him in a hug. Tony immediately melted into it, and Rhodey felt pleasantly warm all over. “He’s amazing.”

Just like you.

***

Rhodey was grinning like an idiot as he ran up the front steps to the Stark Mansion, but he didn’t much care. He hadn’t seen Tony since his parents’ funeral just over a year, and he had missed him like crazy. They had talked as often as possible, had even taken to writing letters (despite Tony’s complaints about both being allergic to penmanship, and the speed of the postal service), but it hadn’t been the same. Rhodey had half expected that his crush might fade with some distance between them, but instead he’d missed Tony in a way that he hadn’t ever experienced before, like an aching hole in his chest, and it had only gotten stronger the longer they’d been apart. It was almost embarrassingly sappy, but he figured that was as good an indication as any that it was true love.

Bouncing impatiently as he waited for someone to answer the door, he fidgeted with the little box in his hands. It was a completely goofy gift -- he’d met a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy and so on until he’d managed to get his hands on a discarded nut from the Voyager 2 spacecraft -- but he knew it was exactly the kind of thing that Tony would nerd out over. He couldn’t wait to see Tony’s face when he opened it. And he was hoping that Tony would recognize it as more than just a piece of metal, would see the intentions behind it and then, when Rhodey told him how he felt, he wouldn’t be completely taken off guard. Because he knew he had to tell him, felt like he might explode if he didn’t.

The door swung open then, Jarvis welcoming him in with a warm, pleased smile, looking almost relieved. Rhodey did his best to be polite, but he wasn’t sure if he’d succeeded. Jarvis didn’t seem to mind at least, still smiling as he directed him to where Tony was apparently busy in his workshop. Rhodey had only been here a handful of times -- it hadn’t exactly been Tony’s top vacation destination in school -- but he knew the way instinctively, taking the stairs to the basement at a run.

“Tony?” he called. The lights were dim for some reason, and he blinked as he stumbled into the room before his eyes had properly adjusted. “Guess who’s back, baby?” He waved the little box in his air. “And I brought you prese-ah, fuck!” he hollered as he was suddenly doused in a thick, bubblegum scented foam. “What the fuck?”

A second later the room was flooded with bright light, nearly blinding Rhodey, and there were footsteps coming toward him.

“Honeybear?” Tony said, sounding a little shell shocked. “Oh shit, okay. Just… Hang on a second. Don’t open your eyes! And, uh… Try not to breathe too deep either.”

He was gone before Rhodey could question what the hell that meant. Left sightless, Rhodey listened to the sounds of Tony’s footsteps, disappearing to the far side of the room. There were sounds of scrambling, and then water running, and then he was jogging back over again. Rhodey nearly jumped at the feeling of Tony’s hand, warm against his upper back, and then again when a cool cloth was pressed against his face, sliding carefully over his eyes with painstakingly gentle motions. When they felt clear, and Tony gave him the okay, Rhodey blinked them carefully open. Tony was staring back at him, his own eyes wide and concerned, though that was starting to ease a bit.

“Hey,” he said, his smile uneven. “Sorry about that.”

Rhodey smiled back, but felt his heart sink. Tony looked terrible; there were dark circles under his eyes, he was way skinnier than Rhodey had remembered him being, and he was pretty sure he could smell alcohol on his breath. None of this had been in Tony’s letters, and Rhodey couldn’t help wondering what else he’d been missing over the past year. Suddenly the relieved look on Jarvis’ face made a bit more sense.

He had a lot of questions he wanted to ask, beginning with, ‘what the actual hell?’ but Tony was watching him nervously, and Rhodey could practically see the anxiety spreading across his face. He sighed, scrubbing a hand through the foam still gathered in his short hair. “What was that?”

“Oh, uh…” Tony rubbed at the back of his neck, smiling that same crooked smile. “I was working on a new, non-lethal thief deterrent? There’s so much proprietary information here, and Dad had this crazy organization system that I don’t understand, and there are so many people and they all want things…” He scrubbed a hand through his hair, making it stand up wildly. “So I thought, you know, I could train Dum-E? If he sees something he determines as a threat, like a weapon or something, he’s supposed to douse them with this foam that’ll stop them long enough for me to get away or call the police or set off an alarm of whatever. But uh, I’m still working on the formula for the deterrent, and then, you know, it’s Dum-E, so getting him to understand what constitutes a threat is pretty much impossible. Right now it’s just about anything that’s bigger than a wallet. You definitely shouldn’t have been on the list.” His rambling trailed off, still looking nervous but also so relieved to see him that for a moment Rhodey thought he might actually start to cry.

“Okay,” Rhodey said, offering Tony a smile in return. “Does it have to smell like bubblegum though?”

Tony gave a startled laugh, and then he was launching himself at Rhodey, wrapping his arms around his neck and practically crawling into his lap, foam and all. Rhodey returned the hug automatically, feeling Tony’s back shudder a little as he pressed his face into his neck.

“God I missed you, Rhodey,” he whispered, voice cracking.

Rhodey cast one last glance at the box he’d wrapped so carefully, now lying forgotten on the floor. This wasn’t the day for love confessions.

He wrapped his arms tighter around Tony’s back instead. “I missed you too, Tones.”

***

Rhodey frowned as he stepped through the front door of the Malibu mansion, but the lights stayed dim. “Uhh…” He blinked into the dark space. “Hey, J? You offline or something?”

“I can assure you that I am fully functional, Captain Rhodes,” JARVIS replied. “Welcome back to Malibu,” he added after a beat, and Rhodey’s frown deepened, because he could swear that JARVIS sounded… Colder than usual.

Telling himself it was his imagination, Rhodey waited a moment. There was no additional commentary from JARVIS, and he sighed. “Could I get some light, maybe?”

JARVIS didn’t actually respond, but after a few seconds the lights came on, just a little too dim to be quite comfortable.

“Okayyy,” Rhodey muttered. He shook his head. “Where’s Tony?”

“Sir is indisposed at the moment, Captain Rhodes.”

“Indisposed?” Rhodey repeated, taken aback. He’d been talking to Tony less than an hour ago, he’d known he was on his way over, and while it wasn’t exactly uncommon for him to get distracted with something and forget, Rhodey was always given full access to everything. “What do you mean, he’s indisposed? And I’m a Major now, JARVIS, you know that. What the hell is going on?”

There was another long silence before JARVIS spoke again. “Sir has been encouraging me to consume media and information, to help me better understand the human experience.”

“Uh huh…” Rhodey knew that; Tony had mentioned as much to Rhodey, talking about how he wanted JARVIS to learn and make his own conclusions independent of what Tony thought or believed. “And?”

“And I’ve noticed similarities between your own actions and behaviours in certain popular media.”

Rhodey arched an eyebrow, flopping down on the long sofa and folding his arms over his chest. “I’m not following.”

“I believe, Major Rhodes, that this is the point in which I ask what, exactly, your intentions are with Sir.”

Rhodey choked on air. “My intentions?” he repeated incredulously. “Are you threatening me? What the fuck, J? I’ve literally known you since you were born.” And then he clued into what, exactly, JARVIS was saying. “Holy shit,” he hissed, looking around frantically in case Tony had suddenly wandered into earshot. “You… I mean, you can… How… You know??”

JARVIS sounded confused. “It was a simple matter of observing your behaviours and comparing them to the media for analysis, and then observing the physical changes to your body when in proximity to Sir -- primarily a mildly elevated heart and respiratory rate.”

“Oh my god,” Rhodey moaned, burying his hands in his face. “How is this my life?”

“For what it’s worth,” JARVIS offered. “I believe Sir remains unaware of your feelings toward him.”

“Yeah, no,” Rhodey agreed, still mumbling into his hands. “That is a fact that I am all too aware of.” He heaved in a deep sigh before letting his arms drop back down to his sides. “Okay JARVIS. So first, we’re gonna have to have a talk sometime about monitoring people’s vitals without their knowledge or consent. But, uh, in answer to your first question…” He rubbed at the back of his neck. “Shit, J, you gotta know by now that all I want is for Tony to be happy. That’s all I care about. Everything else is just… Whatever.”

“And you think that he would be happy with you?”

“I think that ship has sailed,” Rhodey admitted, feeling a pang in his chest as he finally said the words out loud. “It’s been years. If something was gonna happen… I think we’d have found our way there by now.”

It was quiet for long enough that Rhodey thought JARVIS had gone into sleep mode, or whatever AIs did in lieu of unconsciousness. He was about to try his luck again at figuring out where Tony was in this ridiculous palace of a home when JARVIS spoke again.

“Well,” he said, his voice warmer. “I wouldn’t give up hope entirely, Major Rhodes.”

***

Rhodey and Tony were sprawled in the front seat of one of Tony’s roadsters, two and a half movies deep into their Evil Dead marathon. Like the dork he was, Tony had decided they were going to project the movies onto the wall of his workshop, so they could watch from the car like they were in some kind of 1960s drive-in.

He hated how much he loved him sometimes.

RIght now though, he was feeling lazy and satisfied, full on pizza and wings, and just the right side of tipsy on the beer he’d brought, laughing as Tony recited the movie word for word, complete with altering his voice to try and mimic the characters.

Stretching out his arms and back (and resisting the urge to take advantage of the movement and hook his arm over Tony’s shoulders, because he wasn’t twelve), Rhodey kicked his feet up on the dash, shifting on the seat a little in the process.

“Hey,” Tony protested, not actually sounding that concerned. “That’s a custom dash, asshole. Feet off. Or else.”

“Oh yeah?” Rhodey snickered. “Or else what?”

He rolled his head to face Tony, eyebrow arched, and then blinked. Tony was much closer than he’d realized. He’d slunk down in the seat, leaving him a few inches lower than Rhodey, and he was looking up at him with lazy, hooded eyes. He was Rhodey’s favourite version of Tony, comfortable, and happy, and beautiful, and his breath caught a little at the sight of him.

Something changed in Tony’s expression then, his eyes narrowing slightly like he was trying to get a read on Rhodey. Whatever he saw made him swallow, tongue sliding out over his upper lip. Rhodey couldn’t tear his eyes away, only vaguely aware of the fact that he was moving closer and closer to him. Tony didn’t seem to mind, lips parting slightly before he shifted just enough to face him more squarely. Rhodey could feel his heart racing as Tony got closer, eyes dark, and --

There was an almighty crash from the corner. Tony pulled away, whipping his head around to stare over the back of the car, eyes going wide. “U!” he cried, launching himself over the back of the car. Rhodey let his forehead fall against the seat of the car for just a moment before looking up to where U had apparently managed to crash into the wall and tip herself over.

“Seriously?” he whispered to himself before climbing out of the car to help Tony get her righted.

***

Rhodey hadn’t been able to get that almost kiss out of his mind. At first he’d thought he’d imagined the moment, that his horniness had taken what was a normal, friendly moment between the two of them and twisted into something more. He didn’t think that was it though. There had been something in Tony’s eyes when he’d leaned toward him, something hopeful and yearning. And then there had been that look he had given him as they’d called it a night, looking, well, sad, like he’d missed an opportunity.

Rhodey had been so convinced that any romantic feelings on his part were unrequited that he almost wasn’t sure what to do with the idea that they might not be. But he knew, no matter how many times he’d failed before, if there was even a sliver of a chance that Tony felt the same way, he had to at least try and confess his feelings.

Of course, that didn’t mean that he couldn’t change the circumstances as much as possible.

Rhodey waited until he knew with absolute certainty that Tony was out of town, settled solidly in Hong Kong for five days worth of meetings with no quick way back to California. Then he headed for the Malibu mansion, waiting for JARVIS to get through his cursory greetings.

“J? I need your help.”

Tony shuffled in the front door, exhausted. It had been a long week of meetings, and things going wrong, and while he wasn’t generally much of a sleeper, all he could think about was crawling into bed and sleeping for the next three days.

“Hey J,” he mumbled, dropping his briefcase right there inside the door. “‘S good to be home.”

“Welcome back, Sir,” JARVIS replied, his familiar voice soothing something in Tony. “Uh, Sir, if I could direct you to the workshop, your assistance is required.”

Tony couldn’t help his groan. “Come on, J. I left you in charge. Can’t you handle it?”

“Sir, it’s absolutely imperative,” JARVIS told him. There was an almost imperceptible pause before he continued. “DUM-E is a hazard to himself.”

Cursing under his breath, Tony headed for the stairs, stomping his way down to the ‘shop and then glowering when the lights stayed dark. “JARVIS? What the fuck? Are you malfunctioning or something?”

Then the lights came on all at once, and Tony found himself blinking at the sight in front of him, wondering if he’d fallen asleep on the flight home and was, in fact, dreaming. “The fuck?” he whispered, a slow smile crawling over his face.

Rhodey was standing on the far side of the room, lined up beside Dum-E and U, all three of them holding signs. Dum-E’s read ‘WILL YOU,’ U’s said, ‘GO OUT,’ and with a crooked smile, Rhodey was holding up his own sign reading, ‘WITH ME?’

Dum-E’s sign was upside down.

Tony started laughing, couldn’t help himself. “You serious with this, Rhodes?” he asked, not even trying to hide how absolutely delighted he was. “This is some sappy shit, even for you.”

Rhodey shrugged, unapologetic. “Tony, you have no idea how many times I’ve tried to say something to you, and it seemed like every time your kids got in the way. So I figured… Maybe it would be easier if I got them to literally spell it out.”

Tony cleared his throat, feeling his throat go tight. “Only you, Rhodes,” he said, his voice rough.

Rhodey huffed out a laugh, then shifted a little awkwardly, a tinge of nervousness creeping into his smile. “So?” he prompted. “Is that a yes?”

“Are you kidding?” Tony demanded. Without waiting another moment, he strode forward, hauled the sign out of Rhodey’s hands, and wrapped his arms around his neck. Meeting Rhodey’s eyes steadily, he didn’t bother hiding the way his own were tearing up slightly. “Definitely, one hundred percent, a million yeses, would you hurry up and kiss me already cause I’ve been waiting like fifteen years to find out what your mouth tastes like, and -- mmph!”

Tony made a startled noise as Rhodey cut him off with a kiss. An instant later, he was moaning softly instead, curling his hands tighter over Rhodey’s back as he returned it, slow and soft and perfect. When they pulled back a few moments later, neither one of them could stop grinning at each other.

“I um…” Rhodey hesitated a moment, twisting his face up like he couldn’t decide if he wanted to tell Tony this or not. “I asked the bots for permission to ask you out? They gave us their blessings, so we’re all good there.”

Tony couldn’t help laughing, still giggling as he kissed Rhodey again, harder this time. “God, only you,” he muttered. “Nobody else would even think to do anything like that. I love you so much.”

And probably it was too soon to be saying that, when they hadn’t even been on a single date, but if anything it felt overdue. And judging by the look on Rhodey’s face, he felt the same.

“I love you too, Tones.”

***BONUS***

Rhodey resisted the urge to yelp as Tony pulled into the garage at a breakneck speed, parking the Audi haphazardly in its spot. “God, c’mere,” he mumbled, grabbing Rhodey by the tie and yanking him across the seat to kiss him, hot and heavy and wanting. “Fuck, you were so hot tonight. Love the way you look in a suit.”

Fingers scrabbling at Tony’s chest, Rhodey let himself be manhandled, moaning into Tony’s mouth as they made out all hungry and desperate. He yanked at Tony’s shirt, hauling it out of his pants and getting it most of the way unbuttoned before he remembered himself and pulled back so he was breathing hard against his lips instead.

“No, no wait,” he protested, head tilting automatically as Tony started to bite down his jaw. “Not here, come on. Last time we did this in the car, you bitched for a week straight about the stains on the upholstery.”

Tony snickered against his neck, the sound turning to a hum as he slid the palm of his hand up Rhodey’s thigh. “I can’t help it if you look incredibly good in my car,” he insisted, pulling back to grin at Rhodey with dark eyes. “Come on, honey. I promise not to bitch you out this time.” He leaned forward to kiss him again, thumbing at Rhodey’s nipple through his dress shirt as he did. For a minute Rhodey almost gave in, distracted by how good Tony felt against his skin.

“No, come on,” he said, reaching his hand down Tony’s open shirt and scratching blunt nails over his abs. “I got plans for you. Wanna take you apart. Take my time, stretch you out on the bed and fucking ruin you.”

Tony stared at him, and then, with a high-pitched wheezing noise, started nodding almost frantically. “Yes,” he said quickly. “Yes, please, let’s go.”

The two of them tumbled out of the car, heading for the stairs, and only made it as far as the closest table before Rhodey had to haul Tony in for another kiss. He pressed him up hard against the metal, shoving a thigh between his legs and grinning against his lips when Tony practically melted against him. Tony’s long fingers grabbed at his shirt, pulling it up to get at the bare skin of his back before sliding them lower, moving beneath the waistband of Rhodey’s dress pants to grope at his ass. Rhodey thrust his hips up against him and then cupped Tony through his pants in retaliation, biting at his lips.

“Fuck, Tones,” he mumbled. “Driving me crazy.”

“Can’t help it,” Tony retorted, panting against his lips. “I want you so bad.”

Rhodey was seriously considering delaying his bedroom plans -- they were both young, they could go again, probably -- unable to move more than a few inches away when all of a sudden there was a sudden shock of cold through his body. Gasping, it took him a second to process what was happening until he looked at Tony and found him just as shell shocked and just as soaking wet, water dripping into his open mouth. As one, they turned to stare at the guilty looking robot holding an empty bucket.

“Dum-E!”

@tonystarkbingo

#tonystarkbingo2020 #tsb2020 #ironhusbands #james rhodes #tony stark #JARVIS #DUM-E #U #5 +1 #fluff and humour #dorks in love #protective bots #love confessions gone wrong #fic #my fic

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something-tofightfor · 5 years

Text

Just a Place - Part 8

Pairing: Ryan Brenner x Reader

Word Count: 8180

Rating: M (language, implication of sex)

Summary: You and Ryan continue your life together - moving from city to city, but with purpose. You have your 2nd exhibit opening, meet more of his friends, and then, again, someone from his past reaches out.

Author’s Note: Uh, it took me six months to get this out, and I feel terrible. (I know I wrote (s)He’s a Tiger and some drabbles for them, but I cannot and will not continue to neglect Ryan. Promise. While I didn’t write it with her in mind, this chapter is dedicated to @gollyderek ... because who doesn’t want a little Ryan Brenner on their birthday? Happy birthday, Laura!

Your POV

The trip to San Francisco had been a whirlwind; your second exhibition opening going much more smoothly than the first. To start, you had help with setting up the show, your time spent in the gallery passing more quickly because you were rarely alone like you had been in Philadelphia. The biggest difference, though, had been that Ryan was there to help you - and he’d built the freestanding walls by hand, the sound of his voice echoing off of the walls of the room as he sang to himself while he worked. It comforted you, and you’d caught yourself grinning more than once while you sat at the small table in one corner of the room, signing the matted images in golden ink and numbering them just in case they happened to sell. Andrea had been present often while you prepared the space, introducing you and Ryan to her wife Joanna, and Ryan had quickly charmed the woman, as per usual.

By the time your opening night came, you weren’t even nervous anymore, and you knew that it was because Ryan was there with you, his dark eyes watching your every move, never far from you and yet giving you all of the space you needed. His arrival to the city had been a surprise for you; you’d expected him to give you flight information so that you could pick him up, but instead he’d showed up on the morning of the 29th, at the hotel room you’d booked, two quick knocks on the door and nothing else. Needless to say, you’d been late getting to the gallery to begin your setup, but it didn’t matter because with Ryan’s help, you finished things in double time.

Though the trip was only a few days long, it was nice to be on the coast again, to be away from Middle America, to be in charge of something. You loved that Ryan was taking the lead on so many things - the houses with David, finding the place in Olathe, the independent remodel - but the show was yours, something for you to obsess over, to plan, to see through. The opening had been wonderful, the guests friendly and interested, you answering their questions without hesitation. Ryan had even made some connections; people had been all too excited to talk to him after seeing that he was again the only human subject in your images. You’d used the pictures of him from Las Vegas, repeating the enlarged one in the center of the exhibit - but this time, you’d asked him to sign the back of the ones he was in, too, his eyes going wide as you handed him the pen. “It’s about you, too, Ry.”

Though there had been no sunroom for Ryan to lead you to after the drive back to your hotel, you’d spent the remainder of the night in much the same way you had after the first, dozing off at sunup and waking up just early enough to take showers before rushing back to the airport to make it back to Kansas. Since you’d been so focused on your show, Ryan had acknowledged his words from the night he’d called from Phoenix but hadn’t explained them, promising instead that you’d talk when you returned to the house. But when you got back there, the fixtures and tile had been delivered, meaning that the two of you were busy again for a few days, making as much progress as you could on the house before you’d needed to call an electrician to come out and rewire the electrical lines properly.

There wasn’t much you could do while you waited, and so finally, one morning about a week after you and Ryan had returned from San Francisco, you approached him with a coffee mug in your hands as he laid on his back on the couch, reading through a notebook full of his lyrics. “Ry?” He immediately looked up at you, lips curving into a smile. “You said we needed to talk, right?” He sat up, planting his feet on the floor and reached up for the mug, taking it from you as you lowered yourself onto his lap, his free arm curling around your waist.

“I did.” You sipped from the coffee and waited. “It’s nothin’ bad, I -”

“I didn’t think it was… not after you…” You shook your head, reaching up to run your fingers through his hair, head shaking back and forth. “Not after you said you were gonna come to San Fran, anyway.” You’d never tell him how it had felt to hear him say the words “I’m not coming home” to you, separated by thousands of miles after two weeks of spotty contact. You’d never tell him, but you suspected that he knew how he’d made you feel with those words, even though you didn’t need him to explain himself. I thought he was leaving, I thought he was going to… “But I still wanna know, Ry.” He stared at you for a few seconds, gathering his thoughts and then reached for the mug you held, leaning forward to put it on the crate that you were using for a table.

“So…” He settled back, the hand on your hip slipping beneath the bottom hem of the shirt you wore, the rough fingers of his left hand moving against your skin. “So you were right.” You turned your head toward him, puzzled. “I was off before I left, but I was off while I was travelin’ too.” What? “I wanna… I wanna be with my friends, record with ‘em, not do the, the whole studio thing, yeah?” You nodded. “And I think that… when I was in Arizona, talkin’ with Georgie, I realized that it wasn’t that I was restless because I felt trapped here, like you thought.” I did think that. “Stayin’ in one place, for months at a time used to scare the hell out of me, but when I… when Cowboy died?” Ryan shook his head back and forth slowly, eyes downcast. “He left his wife, he left his kid. What I did - what we did was so dangerous, so damn stupid.” Ryan trailed off, thinking. “But it was life, and I got used to it, and then I met you, and you just accepted it.” I did. “I’m making a mess of this, I know I am, but what it comes down to is that I wasn’t off because I wasn’t happy - I was… it scared me that it was so easy for me to make such a big... “ He blew out a breath. “I wasn’t expecting for it to be so easy for me to stop, to settle into a routine, to be with someone all the time, and then when it was, I didn’t… I didn’t trust it.”

It made sense to you, the way that he was explaining it, and you were surprised that you hadn’t picked up on his reasoning. Telling him as much, you shifted on his lap. “I thought you were restless because of me, Ryan.”

“You?” You nodded. “Why would you have been…”

“Ryan, I offered to move in with you the first night we found each other again, I know I came on a little strong.” He looked surprised at that, but you didn’t let him speak. “And then after that, things just moved really quickly, and then we were buying a house, and moving again, and…” You shrugged. “It’s a lot, and there were days where I just figured you were going along with it because you didn’t know how to tell me…”

“I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t ever do that with you.” He said your name, drawing out the end of it. “I mean it. It wasn’t because of you, it was because of me.” Ryan closed his eyes, tilting his head back. “I spent half my life livin’ day to day, and I got used to it - it was a routine for me, an’ then when I found a new routine? It was different. But I didn’t want to think about what it meant.”

“What does it mean, Ryan?” He looked back at you, the most honest expression that you’d ever seen him wear on his face.

“It means that my life is about more than music, more than travel, more than… more than me.” He paused. “I told you before that I’ve never felt like someone wanted to build somethin’ from the ground up with me, they just wanted to fit me into their life, like a piece that was missin’, and I’ve never felt that with you.” Because I’ve never done that, I never… “But.” He grinned. “It took you telling me to go for me to figure out that you weren’t giving me a choice between you and the road like J... like she did.” You nodded, noting the catch in his voice. “You weren’t tryin’ to make me pick between you and that life, an’ I figured it out.” Ryan leaned in, nose brushing against yours. “All on my own.” He kissed you, his thumb trailing around the curve of your ear as he pulled away. “And as soon as I did, it was like I couldn’t get back to you soon enough, even though I knew I had to wait a few days.”

“Did you miss me, Ryan Brenner?” Your tone was breathy; you couldn’t help it when he was that close to you, the scent of him invading your senses, his voice low and smooth in your ear. He nodded, lips moving over your cheekbone and then down, lingering against your jaw.

“I did” He sighed. “I don’t like not talkin’ to you, even for only a few days, it reminds me of when I lost my phone.” You froze but recovered quickly, the arm that was around his neck tightening slightly, your fingers playing with the thick hair at the base of his skull. “I don’t like feelin’ like that.” I don’t either. “But that’s enough.” He cleared his throat. “The point is that I’m not leavin’ any time soon, and even though bein’ out and playing again was great, it’s not the same as it used to be. I was alone before, and that was fine, but I’m not alone now, and I don’t wanna be.”

“Good.” He kissed you again, this time softly, his hair falling over one eye and moving over your skin. “Good, Ry, because I don’t either.”

---

The electrician came and went, bringing the house up to code, and with that done, you and Ryan blazed through the remainder of the renovations, finishing a few days after the 4th of July. You’d watched the fireworks from the roof of the house, you and Ryan sitting together with his arms around you, his chin resting on your shoulder and you settled between his knees. It was humid with a slight breeze, but you didn’t care, knowing that you’d be peeling your sticky clothes off of each other a few minutes after the fireworks ended anyway. As the splashes of color boomed in the sky above you, you felt Ryan’s lips moving against the back of your neck and then over your bare shoulder, the gentle hum coming from the back of this throat vibrating against your skin. I never wanna lose this.

The house was listed for sale early the following week, Ryan handling everything, including working with the realtor to choose a starting price, and you’d watched his eyes widen when he received the paperwork. A little drywall and some new flooring goes a long way, Brenner. You knew that the summer months were a typically slow for buyers, but when, at the beginning of August, Ryan received three offers on the house, you weren’t surprised. With the extra money from the last house he’d worked on with David and the profits from the current house, you knew that the amount of money Ryan had to his name was more than he’d ever realistically imagined he’d have at once in his lifetime - and you were happy for him.

You moved out of Olathe and rented a place in Texas - not to renovate, but to live, and then headed south to Louisiana, visiting with one of Ryan’s old friends and her husband and kids. You knew what Fabienne had meant to him, and could immediately understand how he’d fallen under her spell. She was vibrant and friendly, welcoming the two of you into her home without pause, throwing her arms around Ryan and then around you, pressing a kiss to your cheek while telling you that you were going to be good friends and that she couldn’t wait to show you her city.

“Is it strange for you, Ryan?” You asked him as you laid in bed next to him later that night, wearing only one of his t shirts, Ryan dressed in a pair of athletic shorts. “To think that we’re in the house with someone that you -”

“Nah.” He rolled toward you, using one large hand to push the hair out of your face. “Fabi and I… it’s been a long time. We were never gonna last, and we both knew it even though we pretended it wasn’t true for a while.” He smiled at you, and you both went silent, listening to the quiet hum of the air conditioner outside of the bedroom window. “We had fun together, but she and Alex are perfect for each other, she was ready to stay long before I was.” He craned his neck to kiss you, pressing your back against the mattress. “Is it weird for you? Bein’ here, in bed with me, wearin’ my clothes, knowin’ that they’re wonderin’...”

“I don’t have anything to worry about with her, Ry, or with you.” You stared up at him, still able to pick out every one of his features, even in the darkness of the room. “Ten years is ten years…” Slowly, you dragged your nails down his chest, watching the slight flare of his nostrils and the way his tongue poked out from between his lips while he hovered over you. “And Ryan?” You used your free hand to pull his head down to yours again, sighing into his mouth. “She’s been with you, she knows exactly what we’re doing in here.” He laughed, easing himself back on top of you and agreed, and by the time you fell asleep a long while later, you weren’t wearing his shirt anymore.

You stayed with Fabienne and Alexander for a week and a half, getting to know the couple and spending the rest of your time exploring the streets of New Orleans, Ryan taking his guitar and going back to places he’d played earlier in his life. He fit in with the city and surrounding area just as well as you knew he’d fit into a place like Memphis or Nashville, slipping into street performances and onstage at bars, fingers moving quickly over the frets and strings of his guitar, soulful voice loud in your ears. Watching him was like being in a trance, and a quick glance around whatever area you were in confirmed that others felt the same, too.

But you always made it back to their home to sleep, using the spare key that Alexander had slipped into your hand while you ate beignets at Cafe du Monde, taking a break from the heat and humidity and letting Ryan and Fabi play. You’d been surprised that he was fine with letting you stay, knowing that he was aware of the relationship that his wife had had with Ryan, but he’d explained his feelings to you over coffee the second night, his green eyes full of honesty.

“They weren’t together long, and they were both pretty young. I know it was serious and I know that they cared for each other, but it was before … before we’d met.” You watched him stare at you, deep in thought. “She told me that she felt terrible about ending things with him, but that she needed to do it before he… before they hurt each other more and lost each other for good.” Ryan had told you the same, his words hesitant while he explained that he’d loved the woman but didn’t think he’d been in love with her, despite what his hormones had allowed him to believe. “I fell in love with her the day I met her.”

“Really?” He nodded, smiling at you over the rim of his cup. “That’s gotta be a good story.”

“It is.” He leaned back in his chair, the thumb of his right hand rubbing against the wedding band he wore on his left, still smiling. “Came here on vacation with my brother. We wanted to do the typical tourist shit, you know? I was twenty five, and hadn’t ever had anything long term. She was singin’ on the sidewalk, right there for everyone to see, and I heard her before I saw her - and I knew.” You widened your eyes, remembering walking up to Ryan, hearing him play his guitar, seeing him sitting on his crate for the first time. “Asked her to get a drink that night, and told my brother not to expect me back in the room.” He shook his head, the look in his eyes far away. “We stayed out til sunrise, and even though I had to leave a couple days later, I was back here after two months.”

“You uprooted your life for her?”

“Yes. And I haven’t regretted it once.” He shook his head. “We dated for a little over a year, I proposed and we got married six months later. Ryan was there, he came back for it.” Alexander laughed. “This was… three years after they broke up? He came back through a few times, stopped in, stayed overnight, but I never... He was always so nice, so good with Cecily when she was little… “ Alexander nodded his head. “Ryan wouldn’t ever try anything with someone else’s woman, and that was one of the first things he said to me when I met him.”

“I’m not surprised.” You chewed on the nail of your thumb for a few seconds. “First night we met, he was… nice, but didn’t try anything, was just friendly.” The man watched you. “And even… the next night, when we talked for the first time? Even after I invited him back to my room to get out of the rain? He asked before he kissed me for the first time, then made sure that there was no one…”

“He’s a good guy, and there aren’t many people that live like him that are as…” Alexander paused, narrowing his eyes as he thought. “As concerned with what people think of ‘em.” You nodded, realizing that he was right. “I was happy to have him there for the wedding, and I’m just as happy to have the two of you here now. So’s she. She always… she’s always gonna a soft spot for him, and I can’t blame her for that. I trust her, and I trust him.”

After leaving Louisiana - and the woman who’d said goodbye to both of you with kisses on the cheek, Ryan’s skin flushed pink as you’d turned and walked through the doors of the airport - you and Ryan moved further west, spending the end of summer and beginning of autumn in Texas. He played music, adding to his bank account, recorded a few songs, and you took freelance photography jobs, filling in gaps of time while you lived out of the house you’d rented. Both of you were living the lives that you’d been before you met with two big exceptions: the first being that you’d adopted some of each other’s mannerisms, and the second that you two were together as often as possible. Ryan didn’t travel by train or sleep on the couches of friends anymore, and you took the time to see the cities you stayed in, getting a feel for the people that lived in them instead of simply taking pictures of the spaces and moving on once you’d gotten ‘the shot’.

You knew that you’d been fortunate in life, had been able to travel with your parents and for work and see places that most people only dreamed about, but they’d just been trips to you, ways to pass the time. You’d made a few memories, sure, but the more you traveled with Ryan, the more you realized that your first great memories started in Vegas - with him. You knew that the number of places he’d seen and been and the things that Ryan had experienced paled in comparison to your own extensive and privileged history, but Ryan took each day as it came, no matter what, finding things to be excited about, and the more time you spent with him, the more you tried to do the same.

From Texas, you moved north, finding a clean, but outdated trailer to renovate in Durango, Colorado, going in half and half on the price. It had been on the market for months, so you got a great deal on it, and you spent your second Christmas together tucked into the cozy confines of the mobile home, snow falling outside the walls. You hadn’t spent a Christmas in the snow in years, and even though it was even more low key than the one you’d had in Charleston, you enjoyed the second holiday with Ryan more, the tiny tree in the corner decorated with a few strings of lights and only the important ornaments hanging from the branches. It was a few days before Christmas when you got a phone call from Andrea, updating you that all of the pieces from your show that had sold had been packaged and shipped out to the buyers, and that you could expect to receive your pay shortly after the beginning of the year, along with some of the remaining images. “There were people that actually bid on some of them,” the woman had said. “So your take home was a little… higher than we expected it to be, even with some pieces unsold and a few others donated, plus our commission.” You’d inquired as to the amount, but Andrea refused to tell you, which you thought was strange. “I promise you, the surprise will be worth it for you.”

New Year’s Eve passed too, you and Ryan working side by side to renovate the trailer and get it ready to put on the market as soon as the weather turned. He was teaching you a lot about remodeling, and even though the snow - and the nearby parks and mountains kept you busy with your camera, you helped Ryan a lot more than you had in Olathe. The check from San Francisco showed up on January 9th, tucked into a thick envelope with the sale records, the remaining pictures and a handwritten letter from Andrea. The letter told you to contact her when you were ready for another show, that she’d put you in touch with a few gallery options. But the amount listed on the check floored you, causing you to stand frozen in the middle of the kitchen, the paper clutched in your shaking hands. “What’s wrong?” Ryan walked into the room quickly, his arms going around you from behind. “You OK?”

“Yeah, Ry, it’s… its from Andrea, I…” You tilted the check, showing him the amount and heard his low whistle, felt his hold on you tighten. “It’s way more than… it’s just… they’re just pictures, Ryan, it’s not…”

“It’s not just pictures.” He kissed you on the side of the head, taking a deep breath. “It’s art, and you deserve every penny of that.” You knew he was right, but it was still unreal to you to think that in the span of a year, you’d had not one but two shows, your art selling better than you’d ever imagined it would. This is enough to live off of for a year, and we’re still gonna make money with this place, I can’t… “I think it stopped snowin’ outside.” Ryan said your name quietly, turning you to face him and pulling the check from your hand, setting it down on top of the envelope. “We should go celebrate.” He leaned down, kissing you and keeping his hands at your waist. “Lemme buy you dinner.” You nodded, agreeing and Ryan kissed you again, taking your lower lip between his teeth before pulling away to look into your eyes. “I’m proud of you.” You whispered his name, leaning even closer into him. “Get your boots on.”

You went out, even though the roads weren’t great, and had a nice dinner, Ryan swatting your hand away when the waitress brought the check out and then taking it back in his as he led you out the door and to the bar next door to the restaurant for a drink. It was one of the ones he played at, and he played out often, still managing to network, even though he wasn’t focused entirely on music during the winter months. Ryan was happy with the schedule he’d set for himself and you were happy to have Chris and Jameson stay with you for a few days the following week, the two men going along with Ryan to play at a bar downtown for one night with you tagging along to watch. Might not be his focus, but it’s still important to him, you thought as you watched the three of them onstage, the crowd totally engaged with their set.

The next morning, they helped him carry in drywall sheets and wooden beams and planks, needing only a few trips into the house to get the supplies unloaded from the rented truck. The three of them gutted both bathrooms during the time they stayed, redoing the floors and walls in only a few days time, and you were impressed with how hard they worked to complete each room. You were proud of Ryan too, who’d paid the men for the work they did, despite both of them insisting that a warm and safe place to sleep was enough. “You’re gonna take this, and you’re gonna thank me,” he said as he shook his head at both men. “It wouldn’t be right for me to… we worked for hours.”

You cooked for everyone every night, and even though there was only one bed in the house along with a single small couch, when you’d run to Walmart for groceries while they shopped at the hardware store, you’d picked up a new air mattress and extra pillows, along with a few extra towels, just so everyone was covered. It wasn’t home, but you still wanted to be a good host and make sure Ryan’s friends were comfortable.

The week after Chris and Jameson left, you got a text from Ryan while you were out taking pictures, asking you to come home. Worried, you’d stopped and climbed back into your car, thoughts racing as you made your way home. He’d shoveled the driveway while you were out, and you made a mental note to thank him, but forgot what you were going to say as soon as you walked into the house. Ryan was sitting at the small kitchen table, hands folded in front of him, hair loose and hanging over his eyes. What’s going on? “Ry… what… are you OK?” He looked up at you for a second, and you saw that his eyes were rimmed in red, though his cheeks were dry.

“I just got a phone call.” He cleared his throat. “Come sit.” You did, slipping your boots off and making your way across the room, pulling a chair out and moving it around the table so that you were closer to Ryan before you sat. A phone call? The last time, it was… “Ginny… Ginny wants me to come an’ see her and Henry.” Ryan looked up at you again, fear in his eyes. “He’s gonna be four, and she thinks…” He took a deep breath. “She wants him to know Cowboy’s friends, thinks it’s…”

“That’s great, Ryan, I know you miss her, and you miss him, and maybe seeing them will…” You were smiling, leaning in to take Ryan’s hand in yours and squeezing. “I’m glad she called you, I know you said she didn’t -”

“That means…” He looked up again, and you saw an uneasy look in his eyes. “Means I gotta go back to Utah. Back to… Ogden.”

“Oh, Ryan, I…” Jackie.

---

Ryan’s POV

He watched as you stared at him, saw the change in your eyes, the way you tried to keep your expression even. That’s how I feel too. He’d been thrilled to see Ginny’s number on his phone’s screen, happy to hear her voice after two and a half years … but when she’d said she got his new number from Georgie and asked him if he could swing by the next time he was passing through, Ryan had paused before answering. “I told her… told her what I.. what we were up to, and she was surprised.” Ryan forced a smile. “Told her I’d try to make it out, but that with the weather, I didn’t know how soon it would be.”

“Of course, Ryan, you’ve got to be excited to get back out there and see them. Henry’s… he’s a little person now, and -”

“Stop.” Don’t drag this out. “You know what Utah means.” You flinched at that, but Ryan turned his hand over, his fingers curling around yours. “Ginny said she’s not livin’ with her mom anymore, her and Henry got their own apartment, but Ogden’s small, and it…”

“Ryan.” You scooted closer to him, shaking your head. “You don’t need to explain yourself.” You tilted your head back, staring at the ceiling. “I know you’re not going to go there and look for her.” You looked back at him and he felt his heartbeat speed up, eyes moving over your face quickly. “I hope you-”

“Will you come with me?” The words came out in a rush. “I want you to meet my friends, and you can’t meet Cowboy, but… but Ginny and Henry are -”

“If you want me to, Ry.” You moved your chair even closer, reaching out with the hand that he wasn’t holding to push his hair away from his eyes. “Just let me know when.”

---

January slipped into February, and though little changed - Ryan still working with you to finish the house, playing out twice a week, writing music and updating his online accounts with videos - the closer spring got, the more anxious he was. It wasn’t just that he was worried that he might run into Jackie or Lia in Utah, he was worried about seeing Ginny again after so long. Before, the three of them would go months without seeing each other, and then catch up as if no time at all had passed, but things were different - and Ryan knew it. It’ll be fine. She really wants me there, she wouldn’t have called if she didn’t.

He worked hard on the house with your help, and by the time you were putting the finishing touches on it, it was nearly March, and the weather was finally clearing. You scheduled the home inspection, and once the man gave the go-ahead, you took photographs of the interior of the house, listing it for sale. “Now we wait, Ryan.” You were right, of course, and so the two of you busied yourself with exploring the city while you waited for buyers. He kept Ginny updated, sending messages back and forth with the woman, and when, finally, you accepted an offer from a buyer that was contingent on the bank fully approving the loan they’d need, Ryan called his old friend again. He paced in the driveway as he talked, the sun warm on his shoulders though the air was still chilly. “Hey, Ginny, the house… we found someone to buy it, soon as we get approval from the bank, we can…” He took a deep breath, his eyes scanning the distant mountains. “We can head up to you.”

“Yeah?” He confirmed, and Ginny spoke again. “We’re happy to have you, Ryan, but we got an apartment, and there’s no room for you to -”

“S’ok,Ginny, we’ll stay in a motel or somethin’, it’s no big deal.” He’d already figured that you’d stay somewhere else, and remembered that while there weren’t a ton of hotels in the city, there were enough. “We’ll be drivin’ in, so gettin’ to you and Henry won’t -”

“She’s coming with you, Ryan?” Why wouldn’t she? “I figured…”

“She wants to meet, you, Virginia.” His voice low, Ryan ran his hand through his hair. “You and Henry, and I want her to, she…” Ryan drew his lower lip into his mouth, pausing. “You’re gonna love her, Ginny.” And he really thought she would, could picture the two of you talking over coffee or dinner, sitting on the couch and trading stories about Ryan. It’ll be good.

So you packed up your Colorado home, moving the few belongings you had into a small storage area until you knew where you’d end up next, you remarking to Ryan that your possessions were scattered across the United States and him replying by saying “yeah, but now it means you gotta go back to pick ‘em all up.” The smile you gave him made his chest tight; he’d never met anyone as excited about the prospect of travel as you, and that made him happier than he’d ever thought he could be without actually being on the road full time. The night before you were set to leave for Utah, you and Ryan were sleeping on the air mattress - the last thing in the house aside from your packed luggage and the two guitar cases - in the middle of the living room, but Ryan had woken up before your alarm, before you’d even moved from your position curled into his side.

He stared over at you, shifting slightly against the soft surface of the airbed and used one hand to brush your hair away from your face, the tips of his fingers glancing off of your skin. He watched you in the low light that crept in around the corners of the drawn blinds, eyelashes fluttering against your cheeks as you enjoyed your last few minutes of sleep before getting into the car, and wondered how he’d gotten so lucky. Not only being with you, but finding you in the first place still seemed unreal to him on some days. After Jackie, he’d been resigned to being alone after seeing what being with someone had been like, what it had taken from him to even try, but in all those months knowing you, he’d never felt like he’d actually sacrificed anything - not once.

He’d been sleeping next to you for just shy of two years, telling you he loved you, doing what he could to take care of you, and you’d never once questioned his intentions or his ability to prioritize. You’d never asked anything of him that you wouldn’t have done yourself, and yet he knew that you still worried sometimes that you were asking too much of him. But the more he thought about the trip you were about to begin, the more he wondered if he was asking too much of you. He wanted you to meet Ginny and Henry, wanted you to meet Cowboy’s brother if he was still in town… but Ryan knew the risks, knew what going back to that snowy little town at the base of the mountains meant.

It wasn’t the trip itself he was worried about; the drive was easy. It’s under eight hours. Less than a day. Ryan took a breath, tilting his head down to kiss the top of your head. It’s what happens when we get there. “Hey, sleepy.” His own voice low and thick, Ryan said your name. “Time to wake up.” You sighed, groaning, and scooted closer to him, your hand pressed against his bare chest. “C’mon, we get on the road by 5:30 we can be there by …”

“I know, Ryan, but…” You leaned in, lips finding the skin at the base of his throat. “But you’re warm, and…” He heard you sigh, felt the rush of warmth hit him as you exhaled. “And I’m comfortable and…”

“Don’t lie to me.” He grinned, pushing you gently away from him, and at your reaction, he continued. “This thing’s not made for two people. We’re not comfortable.” But it was - to him - because he was used to sleeping on floors and the hard metal bottoms of train cars, and though he would have chosen any of them again in a heartbeat if it meant you had a comfortable place to sleep, Ryan was comfortable anywhere he was with you in his arms. “We gotta get up, get…”

“I know.” You slowly sat up, hair falling forward and over one shoulder. “Gotta get dressed and start driving to U-”

“Ginny.” He met your eyes without blinking. “To her and Henry and a few days with my friends.” You wouldn’t admit it to him, but he could hear it in that moment - when your guard was down as you chased the final remnants of sleep away - you were worried about what going to Ogden would bring. “It’s got memories, yeah, but Utah’s… just a place.” He shook his head. “Just a stop. Just a reminder of a couple… months of my life.” He swallowed, sitting up and hearing the mattress squeak beneath him. “It’s not about where I’m goin’ anymore, it’s where I’ve been.” You widened your eyes and he reached out, running a thumb over the back of your hand. “Let’s get dressed, an’ get the car packed up.” You closed your eyes for a moment and then moved to get up, but Ryan’s fingers closed around yours. “Wait.”

“What, R-” He leaned in, kissing you by surprise and after almost no time at all, you kissed him back, pulling your hand away from his to hold onto his upper arms, Ryan’s fingers tangling in your hair. “Good morning to you, too, Brenner.” He laughed quietly, swallowing, and then kissed you again, this time pressing his lips gently over different parts of your face. He started with your lips and then moved to your cheek, working his way back to your ear and then up to your temple, where they lingered. “Thought you wanted to leave, Ry.” But you didn’t pull away, instead using your fingers to tease the skin of his shoulders and upper back, grip tightening.

“We gotta.” He admitted it to you, sighing, and then leaned back, looking at you. “But it’s our last mornin’ here, and…” He shrugged, tilting his head. “I had to continue the celebration from last…” You laughed, releasing his shoulders and stood, the bottom hem of his shirt barely grazing the tops of your thighs.

“Ryan, if we do that, we won’t be out of here for hours.” He lowered his head, fighting back a smile. “Come on, it’s not that long a drive, and we’ll get there in time for lunch.” You took a few steps away from the air mattress and Ryan watched as you moved, eyes fixed on your bare legs. “Get up, Brenner, I don’t hear you moving.” He swore as he stood, pulling his pants up a little higher and stepped over to where you were standing in front of the built in countertop, your clothes folded neatly on top of it. Ryan took a deep breath, his fingertips running up the backs of your legs as he stepped behind you.

“Promise me somethin’, alright?” He leaned in, burying his nose in your hair. “Promise me that when we check in - before we eat, before we go see Ginny, you’ll…” He gripped your hips tightly, fingers digging into your flesh and urged your them back and into his. “You’ll give me a few minutes of your time.” You groaned, moaning his name out quietly, elongating both syllables.

“I’d give you all of ‘em, Ry.” You turned to face him, clothing forgotten. “Every single one.” Good. You both went silent, staring at each other, and then you rose onto your toes, your arms going around his neck. “I love you, Ryan.” You swallowed, his grip on your waist tightening. “So much. I don’t say it as often as I want to, because I don’t want -”

“No.” He shook his head, ducking it down to meet yours. “You tell me. You tell me whenever you want, because…” He kissed you, but wasn’t trying to start anything; he just wanted the feel of your lips against his. “Because I know you mean it, an’...” He kissed you again. “An’ I’ll never get sick of hearin’ it.” You nodded but didn’t say anything, and Ryan closed his eyes, squeezing them shut. “We gotta get dressed, we need to get on the road, we…” You pulled your arms from around him and turned, again grabbing the stack of clothes and making your way to the master bathroom.

“I’ll meet you by the door in five minutes.”

---

You’d pulled out of the driveway at 5:36 am, only a few minutes after your initially planned time, and as Ryan watched the trailer fade from view, keys shut into the lockbox hanging on the back door, he grinned. That’s house number four. Little over a year and I’ve helped to flip four houses. It wasn’t what he wanted to do with his life, but he had to admit that the money that he’d made from each of the renovations was more than he’d expected, giving him a safety net at the very least, and the comfort of knowing that no matter where he went - with you permanently or on his own briefly - he wouldn’t have to worry about eating or finding a place to sleep. That had been the biggest struggle for him, he realized as he gave you his order under the bright lights of the drive thru menu. He’d never seen himself as poor, but Ryan had lived hand to mouth for most of his adult life, relying on the kindness of strangers and the occasional splurge on a motel room with a larger group, but he’d never been well off, either. Not like her.

He took the bag of food from you and unwrapped your sandwich partially, handing it back to you. “Thanks, Ry.” You both chewed thoughtfully as you turned onto US-160, and Ryan’s eyes moved over the landscape from under the brim of his hat, everything still mostly hidden by darkness.

You’d never made him feel like his financial status mattered much to you. Even when he hadn’t known how well off you were, Ryan simply assumed that you were like most people your age - a decent job, vacation time, spending a few days in Las Vegas with your friends, and enjoying the city. You’d talked about money with him the second night over your shared meal, Ryan casually admitting that he normally wouldn’t have been able to afford the room or the food you offered to him - but you’d ignored it, choosing instead to focus on him instead of digging into it further and questioning him. That’s not how it is anymore. He finished his first sandwich, balling up the wrapper and putting it back in the bag before pulling out hash browns, reaching over to pop a piece of one into your mouth so that you didn’t have to pull your hands from the wheel. I’m still not rich, but I don’t need to be. I just need… He took a deep breath, turning his head to look at you. “The last time I was goin’ this way to Utah, I…” Ryan swallowed, surprised at his words. “It was even colder than this, an’ I was in an open train car.”

“Yeah?” You glanced over at him, smiling. “You don’t talk about that much, when you came to Utah for the first time.”

“Wasn’t the first time, though.” He finished the potato, offering you one of your own but you shook your head. “Went to Salt Lake City for a couple days with Ginny and Cowboy a couple years before I ended up in Ogden, but I never made it that far north.” He settled back into the seat, eyes on the road in front of you. “But never in winter before, so it was a surprise, kind of, an’ I wasn’t… it was freezing.” You laughed, and Ryan continued to talk, filling the next hour and a half with a few stories about the ride up from Albuquerque, and by the time the sky was fully light and you were passing Monticello, you were both settled in. I have to say it. “There are things I wanna show you in Ogden, things… things I think you’ll like.”

The sun was bright in the sky, so Ryan didn’t miss the slight frown on your face. “Things you did with -” You were being unusually forward with your unease, letting it come through in your tone, and though Ryan appreciated it, he was unhappy that he was the cause of your conflicted feelings. “It -”

“Yes.” He swallowed, shifting in his seat to look at you. “Some of ‘em. It’s a small town, so there’s… there’s only so much that people can…” He trailed off, waiting. “It’s a little like Durango, but the mountains are… they look different.” He reached out, putting a hand on your knee. “Ski resorts close by, so there’s lots of people there, tryin’ to get the last few days of the season in.” He thought back to his final few weeks in the city, taking a deep breath. “But the town itself, you… you’ll like downtown, you’ll like Union Station.” He grinned. “There’s a train museum in there.” You laughed at that, turning your head to look at him briefly.

“Oh yeah?” He nodded. “Bet you enjoyed that.” I did. “I looked into it, Ry, when you asked me to come with you?” He heard the change in your voice again, but this one was hopeful instead of apprehensive. “There’s some sort of… dinosaur museum?” Ryan frowned slightly, thinking. “It’s not in the city, but I thought, maybe… I don’t know, Henry might like it, if he hasn’t been?” He felt his heart flood with warmth for you, his jaw dropping slightly. “What?”

“You looked up something to do with Henry?” Ryan sucked in a breath, free hand pulling the hat off and tossing it onto the dashboard of your car before he ran his fingers nervously through his hair. “Why -”

“Because, Ry.” You glanced down, fingers tightening on the steering wheel. “It’s something for the three of you to do, so that you can…” You trailed off again. “I’m not going to hover, Ryan. I’m not going to follow you to their place or sit and just… be there the whole time while you guys catch up. I don’t need to be, because this isn’t about me, Ryan, it’s about you guys, and your memories, and I don’t want to intrude.”

“You don’t have to -”

“No.” You sighed, eyes still on the road from behind your sunglasses. “I do.” He watched as you bit your lip. “You left pretty quick after the… after the funeral, right? Day or so later, you went to Portland?” He nodded. “And then when you went back, you were… focused on your own life.” You were right. He’d seen Ginny and Henry a few times after returning to Utah, but she’d been so distraught over the loss of Cowboy that they’d been short visits, the woman so distracted and distant that Ryan had stopped trying as often, preferring to send messages instead of calling or stopping over while he focused on his crumbling relationship with Jackie. “You guys need time. You need privacy, and you need something that’s just for the three of you, and that’s perfect.”

“Is it?” You nodded again, shoulders set, and Ryan couldn’t help smiling, eyes closing briefly as he looked down.

“Yeah, what four year old doesn’t wanna run around with dinosaurs all day?” Both of you laughed and Ryan’s attention was drawn by your removal of your glasses, turning your head so that you could look at him. “But really, you guys will have a day to yourselves, and I’ll just… I donno, walk around and take pictures, find a cafe or something. It’s fine, I’m used to being in cities like this alone, it’s no different.” You returned your gaze to the road, going quiet.

“You’re wrong,” he replied after a few seconds, finding his words. “You’re not alone this time, even if we spend the day apart.”

---

Thank you for reading!

General:

@the-blind-assassin-12 @its-my-little-dumpster-fire @obscurilicious @sweetybuzz25 @suchatinyinfinity @lexxierave @gollyderek @poindexted @ificouldhelpyouforget @elanor-of-imladris @thesandbeneathmytoes @luminex3 @geeksareunique @weallhaveadestiny @mfackenthal @thesumofmychoices @yannii04 @beautiful-thinking @drinix @agentlingerie @blah-blah-fuckit-shit @dreams-with-thoughts @wangmangagavroche @traeumerinwitzhelden @malionnes

Ryan Brenner:

@nananananananananananabatman @thisisparadisemylove @chibiyanai

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ghost-hyunjin · 4 years

Note

👥🤝👥🤝👥🤝👥🤝👥🤝 TALK ABOUT THEM ALLLL

x | meme status: not accepting now!

5 Family Members

I was very close to my umma (mom) when I was alive. She shared how hard her pregnancy was, since the doctor told her that it was risky for her to carry a baby. A lot of people say I look like her, but taller and a boy. Actually it hurt a lot to see her cry as she packed up my belongings when I passed away. I wanted to tell her so badly that I was okay and I wasn’t suffering, but I didn’t want to scare her away. Plus I wasn’t that good at maintaining my visibility whenever I wanted.

Appa (dad) was really proud of me when I got into college on scholarship and grants. That left books, food, and housing left for us to handle at the end of the day. I know his secretary said he couldn’t stop bragging about me at work and I got kind of, I don’t know, embarrassed? These people only met me once at some holiday party, you know? You know how I said I look more like my mom? Apparently the only things I got from Appa were his height and his nose.

I drove both of my parents crazy when I wanted a dog at 16. They knew I was doing well academically and I think Umma wanted to reward me for focusing and working so hard. Of course Kkami wasn’t easy to train and raise, but he was a puppy and learning! He had been separated from his mom and siblings at a young age and was a bit scared to be on his own. But we started to understand each other – he liked to sleep with me whenever I came home and always hung around my chair when we eat meals. Maybe he was sick of me kissing him or trying to be affectionate in the mornings, but I loved him. Not more than my parents of course, but it was a big step for me to be responsible for a pet of my own and building a relationship.

Cousin Yeji and I used to have our differences as children. People called us the Hwang Twins at school, and it annoyed us all the time. See, we were the only pair of boy-girl twins at our school and everyone thought it was funny how similar our faces looked. When we got older, she tried to beg her parents to let her do things like add color streaks to her ends or dye her hair lighter colors. (Turns out she snuck the semi-permanent stuff when she slept over at a friend’s house and that um, didn’t end well.) Then some guy asked her out and I had heard things in the locker room about him. I didn’t want to see her get hurt, so I told her best friend who would have a better time convincing her that this guy was a jerk and didn’t want to take her on a real date. I don’t know if her friend ever shared that I heard these things, but I think we started to put up with each other in a friendlier manner than when we were kids. @nerdy-yeji and @kitten-yeji

My twin @street-racer-hyunjin was a surprise to my mom. The doctor initially thought there was one baby, then realized it was two. We aren’t that different – literally it was a few seconds when they delivered us via C-section. I don’t honestly care if people want to know who is older or not – it’s kind of meaningless. Too many people kept getting us mixed up, so it kind of helped when he bleached his hair (courtesy of one of our friends helping him buy the stuff and doing it in the bathroom one night) and got some piercings. Umma really screamed that night when he came home with the lip ring – pretty sure the neighbors came over to check on us and then realized it was one of those parent-kid talks about doing things without permission. I gotta say I’m kind of jealous of him in a way. I’m not that brave or confident to do those modifications to my body or well, was that brave. He and Appa always had an interest in race cars and watched a lot of the races on TV. His 15th birthday gift was a pair of tickets to see a race in person with Appa. I never told our parents about how he got mixed up into his first race shortly after high school graduation and for his sake, they’ll never know it. We were different, but we get each other and respect each other’s space.

5 Friends/Acquaintances

Han I met in school when I was alive. I think we got paired up in some partner project and turns out both of us actually we kind of glad we did? Well, I say that because you hate getting stuck with the slacker who cruises on their partner’s workload to pass. We did equal work and did well on the project. Sometimes he’s a bit hyper, but I am glad to have him around – it did ground me and reminded me that life isn’t always about school, work, and the boring stuff. Sometimes you need to let loose and have fun. I didn’t know this until we graduated, but some of the people at school joked we were the attractive smart guys with different charms. @hanjisung-bot @sweetbbyboyhansungie

@j-05 was one of my classmates. I felt terrible that I forgot about him, but it turns out we were in one of my largest classes I took for a general education requirement. The class was mostly papers and answering the professor’s questions, but we were in a final group project for the class. I guess I may have forgotten about him because he actually bothered to do his part of the project, unlike some of the others who claimed to be too busy or not talented enough to draw a few panels for a comic. He saw me after I passed and it shocked both of us – I never thought anyone could sense a ghostly presence and I doubt he thought he’d see his dead classmate again after all of this. He confessed that he had a crush on me when I was alive and I didn’t know how to feel about it? I never thought about guys that way but also I never had a serious relationship. (Maybe I took one girl out for a school dance, but then she ditched me for her friends and insisted she wanted to stay when I wanted to go home.) I don’t know where this will go, but it will be interesting at the very least.

@ryujin-chatbot was one of my cousin’s friends. Turns out we are both interested in dancing and happened to join Dance Club at school. She is really talented and I always hoped that some talent company or troupe would take her on professionally. She was one of the few who understood my pain and Cousin Yeji’s pain about the messed up “twins” jokes and references both of us got. She told off some messed up guys on the baseball team who suggested Yeji and I were in some kind of romantic relationship behind everyone’s backs and I’m pretty sure to this day, he will avoid eye contact with her if they’re in the same room. (That I owe her for.)

I’m drawing a blank on how I met @mafia-chaeyoung. I was already a ghost when we met and one of the first things she asked me after making sure this wasn’t some joke by a rival, was who killed me. She almost added the frat president to her hit list, but I told her that he’s already convicted and serving time, plus his family is out a lot of money for damages and emotional suffering. I’ll admit her line of work is hazy in my mind and I’m a little intimidated at times by her. But I do appreciate someone talking to me like a normal being and not going “OMG GHOST! I’m cursed!” or “Do you want revenge? Is that why you’re still around?” Sometimes I wish I could do more to say thank you, but seeing where I died, I’m limited in what I can offer. I do hope she stays safe because there are some crazier people out there who will try to take others down without a care.

We didn’t get off on the right foot when we crossed paths, but I think we’re okay? @thejilixtwins-cb are an oddball pair to comprehend to say the least. Always talking and they look and sound charming, but both are full of trouble. I’m not 100% sure what their deal is, but their antics kind of remind me of some duo I once saw on TV. Not sure who, but the back and forth banter or one interrupting the other is very similar to this TV pair. All I can say is, once we cleared the confusion, we seemed to be okay and not as mixed up as we thought.

#Anonymous #[tw: death]#[ Ask a Ghost ]#[tw: implied incest]

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ruby-x3 · 6 years

Text

Is Suyin the child of Toph and Sokka?

Disclaimer

I tried to get as much "true" information as I could, but because I have not much time I couldn't write down all the sources. If you need the proof you can easily find it on the internet. Sorry for that!

This entry has more or less comments of my personal opinion. Therefore I want to highlight those parts in purple.

EDIT: It's confirmed, that Sokka and Suki lived in the suburbs together after ATLA. It was confirmed at ComicCon in an Q&A. Thanks to the cautious readers out there :) I hope you still enjoy the text!

OK so I have stumble upon this theory on what happened to Sokka between the end of the comic arcs (yet) and the beginning of LoK. Therefore I found a pretty interesting picture on Instagram from somebody, who tries to find evidences that Toph and Sokka have a child and it's Suyin Beifong.

As you can see the person compares to facial and body proportions as well as skin tone and similarities. Especially between Sokka and Suyins children you can see a good amount of similarities. I can also agree with the point that Suyin have facial similarities to Sokka. For example if Tophs and Sokkas gene mixed, the skin tone would fit and Suyins heart-shape face would make sense (Toph has a square/round face and Sokka a pointy/oval face shape). The only thing I can't agree is the shoulders? I mean they are just shoulders? You can't tell that they are pointy because Suyins shoulder pads are obviously pointy, but Sokkas are just normal shoulders?

Anyway the text also says that Suki died in a war (it's right according to Google but please feel free to correct me) so there could be room between Sokka and Tophs relationship.

So first of all I want to show parts of their relationship in ATLA and then slosh to the comics.

As we look in the past, there are some points where Toph and Sokka seems to have a bit of chemistry - at least they really care for each other.

At the beginning I want to take emphasis on their trust to each other. In the episode "The Runaway" in Book 3, Sokka and Toph both shared some deeper feelings and fears of themselves to each other. As friends, this is nothing new, but still a great moment of their bond.

Secondly on the war ship Sokka protects Toph and holds her. Again, this might be just a thing between friends. I see nothing romantical here, because she can't see the falling rocks and she also did the same thing for Sokka at "The Serpent's Pass" in Book 2.

Now going a bit deeper Toph is holding Sokkas arm as they went back to Ba Sing Se with Appa and Aang after he went to the Guru in the episode "The Guru". The same thing happened in the boat in episode "The Painted Lady", book 3. Usually Toph doesn't need a helping hand on Appas back as you can see in various episodes. This hug also doesn't seem very much on a friendship base but more "romantically". It's a pose you would usually do to a crush in my opinion.

Especially in the last picture after Sokka went to master Piandao she showed affection towards him because she missed him after only one day. She mentioned her missing of Sokka before in the Gaang part, which nobody else did. They also tent to trust each other, because they didn't fear to tell their fears and problems. She even complimented his drawings (more as a joke), but they sort of picking on each other a lot. Toph also seems to have some sort of interest in Sokka, because she thought he saved her in the water and wanted to thank him with a kiss.

To be honest this isn't very typical for Toph. Yeah, she has also shown some affection towards Zuko, when they tried to find Aang. But this was more like a kind act, because she wanted to know Zuko better and also have some adventure with him as everybody else. She also tried to kiss "Sokka" on "his" lips, because in the she goes towards them with her face. This is no "this just naturally happens", because animators take a long time to animate a few seconds. Therefore there was an intention in this gesture by the creators, leading Toph to show her soft spot, which she usually doesn't show. She rather appear very hard (like a rock) and is indeed very badass, but you should also consider her as a girl with an interest in boys. She also should have hit puberty around this time and the only guy in her reach would be Sokka. We should not forget that Sokka is kind of a "playboy" - at least he has the most relationships in the Avatar universe. Therefore I guess that she could have developed some feelings for him. Maybe not that far, but I think the interest was definitely there.

There are also some other scenes where their bond shows even further, but first I want to talk about the characters. I am mainly talking about characters who have something to do with the Tokka theory.

First I want to talk about Sokka

Well you all know Sokka as an womanizer. He had an relationship with Yue, a princess, he is/was together with Suki and even in the comics girls had interests in him. In LoK we literally know nothing about him. We only know that he was a member of the console in Republic City and that he died before we started with LoK. This is very strange, because people thought he would have been with Suki, but she wasn't mention in Lok at all. I want to talk about her later.

Did Sokka has an interest in Toph?

Well, I can clearly say no, at least in ATLA. We can see by the pictures and gifs above that Sokka had just friendship in mind. For the fact that around this time he was in a relationship with Suki, he never thought of Toph as a potential girlfriend. He was just protective around the last arc, Zosins comet, because they were friends. Nothing more, nothing less. But, as I said, I can still sensor some deeper trust between them, because Sokka told her she saw her mother in Katara, which is an information that he is not keen to speak about. This changed a bit in the comics. Their interaction were much more present than in the series. A part of it is because in the series the focus was much more in Aang. In the comics they clearly have more interactions because the focus on Aang serving the world went away. In the comics we saw a lot of Zukos life in the palace and how he rules. We also saw an arc, where Aang wants to spread the air nomads culture to volunteers and the issue of avatar Yangchen. Katara and Aang being busy being a couple and Sokka and Katara only come together at the Northern Water Tribe.

Sokka has, more or less, plenty of time to spend. Because Suki worked as a guardian for Zuko, Sokka didn't see Suki on a regular basis. Sokka helped Toph with her metal bending academy in "The Rift". Also in "North and South" Sokka spend time with Toph.

He even gave her all the soft toys he won. In my opinion this is a typical boyfriend-girlfriend moment. He could either safe the toys for Suki, but he doesn't. Also in other situations he wants to be with Toph instead of Aang and Katara. He also praises Toph a lot during the series, in the comics and even LoK you can see it (when Yakone was in court).

Now to Toph Beifong

As a blind, but a noble girl she was restricted by her parents to do any physical work or task due to her disability. She also hates authority and rules a lot due to her parental treatment. In the series, she was 12 year old, as old a Aang. In this time many hit puberty, so I guess she may be in puberty at this time and also starts being interested in the opposite gender. So therefore I asume she had a crush on Sokka for various points (examples) mentioned above.

In the comics she found a metal bending school. For the first time in "The Rift" we get to know a man called "Kanto". Toph seems interested in him as well.

If you read the comic you'll notice that she clearly wants to be in a relationship with him. I think he is the father of Lin, because he has the same hair colour and wavy structure, but also her father's name is "Kanto".

As we know in the end Toph was chief police officer of Republica. She has a second child, who is Suyin.

So indicating Sokka might be the father, what speaks for this theory?

After the end of the war we were sure Sokka and Suki will be together and in the comics and they still are. But according to Google Suki died in a war, so this leaves space between Sokka and Toph to develop a relationship. Furthermore Suki seems to have an interest in Zuko.

This actions are, sure, typical for friends, but the way of acting is hinting of an interest. I wouldn't deny it, it seems very suspicious. Also Zuko might be interested in Suki as well, since they see each other everyday and Mai broke up with him. He still have eyes for Mai, but it's not completely impossible that Suki and Zuko are attracted to each other since they both are very badass and attractive characters.

Due to this fact the relationship between Sokka and Suki might have crumbled, leading to a break up between them. We don't see something about Suki in LoK at all. She just vanished completely, which could indicate her early death. Since we know that Toph has interest in Sokka and he maybe has an slight interest as well, so they might end up. The next hints are in the appearances of Suyin and her children, who have heavy resemblances to Sokka.

I first thought that the resemblance is heavily of Bataars side, the father of them. But the similarities to Sokka are stronger!

Therefore, many of those "evidences" turn into the favor of their relationship.

But what speaks against ist?

So basically I would say that it's still a theory. Sure, there are times where many theories were right, but not all. We are speaking in a room of speculations and as you might know, not all things are clear. For example the mother of Izumi is not mentioned at all. There are things, which should(?) be a mystery or unimportant. Maybe for spicing up the series or just because the authors forgot and made it up later on (e.g. J. K. Rowling does every time).

Secondly I want to point out the strong friendship game everyone has in ATLA. We see a lot of strong friendships, which could hint an interest towards the person, but mostly they stay friends. One reason could be that the authors want to trick us, but I believe that the friendships are strong on purpose, because they want to show how much they connected through the war and their experiences. Having a bit of a chemistry does not mean anything relationship wise, that's nothing new for sure.

Third and lastly I want to stick out that shipping everyone with everyone not only does ruin the atmosphere and characters of the series, but also makes it kinda awkward? I mean I have nothing against ships, but not every gesture means love from both sights. That's nothing new in the avatar world and also in ours. We sure can make ships like we want, but if they happen to be real, wouldn't that make their whole situation somehow awkward? Like Suki and Zuko having "an affair" while Sokka doesn't know anything. Or Sokka making up with Toph because they don't have anyone left. This does not only bring some people in a bad light, but also let the characters seem desperate. I wouldn't like the idea that Sokka lost a love again or that Zuko and Suki cheating, which speaks against their natural characteristics and morality.

So what's the conclusion?

As mostly seen many aspects are based on personal preferences. There are hints of a relationship, but there must not be one. This vision is clearly on the readers mind whether they believe the signs or not. I wouldn't doubt the possibility of their relationship though. There are evidences and there is no clear story in between the comics and the start of LoK. I wouldn't mind if Tokka really happened, but I would not state it as the only truth. As a Tokka shipper, I would say yes to the theory, as a Sukka/other Sokka-ship shipper probably no. Feel free to have your own opinion based on this entry, because that's only what's left.

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diyunho · 5 years

Text

The Joker x Reader - “From Above”

She fell from the sky. Literally. The Joker has no idea who Y/N is, but one thing's for sure: after the encounter his life will never be the same.

The loud splashing sound makes The Joker open his eyes only to see the pool water flooding the terrace, almost reaching the lounge chair he dozed off on.

“What the hell?...” he gets on his elbow, confused after being abruptly woken up.

The waves are starting to calm down a bit and J finally gets up from his spot, curious and intrigued about the shape he’s discerning on the bottom of the pool: there’s actually someone curled up in a ball, most likely a woman.

The protective, translucent barrier surrounding your body is already disintegrated by the time The Joker dives under the water to get you out. In a few seconds you are placed on the same chair he rested earlier, The King of Gotham increasingly pissed that the security downstairs didn’t do their job properly.

“Hey, hey!” he taps your shoulder, puzzled by the white, skin tight outfit you’re dressed with: every time he touches it there are small electrical charges following the complicated pattern of your outfit.

You faintly moan, slowly coming to your senses.

“Hey, wake up!” J insists while wondering if you’re one of the “fliers”, a term used for people thrown from planes: either they know too much or have to disappear for good. Mobsters would frequently use aircrafts in order to get rid of unwanted cargo; a little push at high altitude and the corpse would be found splattered all over the ground and often unidentifiable. Did that happened to you? Were you maybe lucky enough to have escape death by landing in his pool?...

The Joker grabs his cell from the tiny table by his deckchair, instantly yelling as soon as Frost picks up:

“Are you guys napping??? What am I paying you for, huh?? How did she sneak in?!!”

“Who sir?” the henchman replies, totally alert now that the boss seems in a very bad mood.

“The woman in the white outfit! How did she pass by unnoticed?! Or did you just let her in The Penthouse to see if I’m amused by your stunt?”

“Sir,” the goon defends himself and the team. “We patrolled the perimeter and I can tell without a doubt that we didn’t see a soul. We would contact you before sending someone to The Penthouse; we know the rules.”

“Do ya’???!!” J yells so loud you open your eyes. “Never mind!” he shrieks seeing the woman’s reaction. “I’ll take care of it!” he hangs up and throws the phone back on the table.

“You!” he pokes your waist, annoyed. “How did you get in here, hm? Who sent you?” the interrogation continues. “Where did you come from?”

He watches you direct your arm towards the night sky, your index finger pointing at the stars.

“Were you thrown from a jet?” he slams you against the cushions when you try to lift your head. “Answer me!” The Joker violently yanks at your hand.

You just glare at him, analyzing the strange man shouting things you don’t care about and it makes you happy.

“Oh!” you exclaim and he doesn’t have time to dodge when your arms go around his neck; the embrace is so unexpected it takes moments to recollect.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” J snaps out of it and shoves you away. “Don’t touch me!”

You frown and pout, upset he didn’t recognize you: how could he anyway? It’s been so many years and it appears life hasn’t been kind to him to begin with. The logic realization makes you smile and The Clown lets you touch his face simply because he plans to break your fingers for the transgression. You keep caressing his face and your fingers are still intact, but he’s going to snap them soon. Probably…

“Who are you?” The Joker growls, mad at himself for showing weakness: he didn’t hurt you yet and he sure feels the urge to shred you to pieces.

“Who’s that Mister J?!” Kira sulks and walks outside on the patio, jealous the man she spent the evening with has somebody else over. She heard the commotion from the master bedroom and since her partner wasn’t in bed she went searching for him. Only to find The Joker with another girl, apparently engaged in some kind of foreplay. Or at least that’s what she believes.

“I have no clue,” he snarls while distancing himself from the weird creature that landed in his life out of nowhere.

“Don’t lie Mister J,” Kira speculates on The Clown’s capability of twisting the truth all the time. “Is she your new toy?” the envious woman inquires.

“No,” and the simple reply is not even taken into consideration.

“It’s fine, I can work with that…You could have us both in the same time…” she seductively bites her lip since this is the only solution separating her from being chased out of the premises. “Just let me stay…yes?”

“Stop talking and go to sleep!!!” he lashes out because he’s fed up with the blabbermouth: J has more important matters to attend than a resentful, casual escapade.

“Is she a dominatrix or something? I could get a latex suit for you also if you’re into that,” she continues to gamble on his patience when in fact he definitely had enough.

“GET. YOUR.ASS. inside,” he mutters through his clenched jaw, “or I’ll make you!”

He is definitely angry and Kira halts her tirade, aware she’s walking on pins and needles.

“Hey, where are you going?!” The King of Gotham inquires when you suddenly jump of the seat before he can pin you down. You run by Kira and barge in, your wet hair dripping all over the expensive rugs in the Penthouse.

“What is she doing?” the lady asks a worked up Joker rushing after you.

You keep on running around the huge living room, touching and marveling at all the extravagant decorations scattered around the place.

“Oh!!!” you keep on exclaiming and the odd behavior makes The Joker forget his temper and watch the scene with a painful grimace.

Out of the blue, a deafening noise shakes the Penthouse; a few windows crack and car alarms start blaring on the streets nearby.

Already? you think and stomp towards The Joker, grab his hand and drag him outdoors again.

“Let go!” he slaps your arm when your white outfit glows with such intensity he has to squint his eyes: your free hand reaches for the sky and he instinctively looks up; there’s something enormous shining above Gotham with lights rhythmically pulsating each time you take another step.

“Mister J, w-what is that?” Kira gestures at the eerie apparition and shrugs in fear when the pool water is ascending towards the invisible force acting like a magnet for the strong beam of incandescence illuminating the atmosphere.

Although it’s not necessary, you cling to the man you came for because he must be paralyzed by now: the flash always has this effect on first timers.

“Don’t be scared!” you reassure J, “I’m here to save you!” it’s the last sentence he discerns as both bodies float in the air towards the ship meant to get you out of there before it’s too late. “Don’t faint!” you try to keep him conscious but The Joker blacks out immediately, not used to the advanced technology he is privileged to experience.

**************

He groans in his dream, continuing to gaze at the transparent panels depicting stars and darkness steadily moving in the vast space. Maybe if he closes his eyes really tight and reopens them, he’ll be able to wake up from the bizarre hallucination.

Nope, it didn’t work.

“I’m in a padded cell at Arkham…I’m in a padded cell at Arkham…” he deeply inhales, repeating the words meant to aid him recover from the sluggish state he’s in. J manages to bring his fingers close to his face, not even noticing the tattoos on his hand are gone: the shimmering white attire he’s dressed with sticks out, adding to his astonishment. “Shit,” The Joker reprises his words, believing his brain is playing tricks on him: “I’m in a padded cell at Arkham…”

“You’re not in a padded cell at Arkham,” the woman’s firm yet calming tone informs and he turns his head instead of just looking up at the translucent ceiling: the sluggish state he’s in is starting to diminish, panic taking over.

“Where am I?” J mutters, his erratic breathing escalating the more he remembers about what occurred yesterday, unaware it was six days ago.

“Please calm down,” you smile and he attempts to stand up without success. “I know how it feels, I’ve been there before. Just take deep breaths and exhale, OK? You were in The Inc.Ubator for days but the process finally ended.”

“The…the what?” The Joker pants and you have to distract him otherwise he will hyperventilate shortly and it won’t help the situation.

“The Inc.Ubator fixes everything that’s wrong with someone at molecular level,” you press on his chest to assess his irregular heartbeat. “Do you sense a certain clarity in your thoughts? Like, they are not scrambled and distorted?”

J has no idea about the involved circumstances that lead to his redemption, but he’s about to find out.

“I’m not sure,” he justly concludes. “I think I completely lost my mind and I’m delirious.”

You chuckle at his affirmation since that’s what you thought also when you were saved by THEM 23 years ago.

“You didn’t lose your mind, I can assure you of the opposite: it’s fixed now. I’m sorry about the tattoos, teeth and hair though.The Inc.Ubator reads them as anomalies that shouldn’t be there: it follows biological imprints stored in its memory for each species, removing and repairing stuff that shouldn’t be there. Wanna see?” you offer to help him up and once on his feet you guide the dumbfounded Joker to one of the panels that reflects back as a mirror as soon as you draw a circle on its surface.

“Oh my God!” he covers his mouth in disbelief at the unusual sight: he has no more green hair, pale skin or tattoos; he looks exactly how he is supposed to look like without the Ace Chemicals incident. NORMAL.

“What did you do to me?” he fakely grins only to see white teeth instead of his silver ones.

“Not me, The Inc.Ubator; it’s an honor to be chosen as survivor of a dying world,” you draw the circle and the screen transforms back into the clear panel granting the two humans a visual of what is going outside the interstellar vessel.

“That’s Earth,” you point at a humongous cloud of debris in the distance. “What’s left of it…” Y/N’s voice dims at the visual. “The core had a surge in temperature and the globe imploded right before I took you. No warning for the people, nothing to stop it. But THEY saved us from that…”

The Joker has a hard time comprehending the insane concepts thrown at him, yet he finds the strength to utter:

“Who’s THEY?”

“Enhanced beings traveling around the Universe and collecting mementos of extinct planets. THEY can’t intervene, their laws forbid it,” you pause to sniffle. “THEY predict when catastrophe will strike and rescue a few samples before annihilation.”

J nervously digs his nails in your suit, unsettled by the news:

“So you’re one of them?”

“No,” you shake your head. “I’m from Earth, part of the First Wave they saved several years ago.”

“Why was I selected?” the former Clown Prince of Crime demands an explanation and he’s enlightened with the answer.

“Now that your mind was gifted back to you, do you recall the orphanage?”

His sudden silence confirms he does.

“Do you remember the mute little girl you used to play with?”

His eyes get big and you continue:

“You never made fun of me and my disability like so many other kids did,” you sadly recollect. “You always shared the sweets you stole from the kitchen and protected me from the boys that used to tease me. You didn’t know sign language but we understood each other, didn’t we?” your eyes get teary at the emotional past.

“… … Y/N?... “ J articulates the name he didn’t say since he was a child.

You nod a yes and provide more details to the stunned man standing next to you:

“I’m sure you also remember I disappeared. I didn’t. I was simply taken by THEM and brought here where The Inc.Ubator mended my handicap: that’s why I can talk. When THEY decided to save a few more before the disaster, I was urged to pick someone: the young boy that was so kind to me was the only one that stood out from my old existence. Thanks to their technology I was able to track you down and come get you,” you start sobbing and intertwine his fingers with yours. “I’m glad I had the chance to return the favor my dear friend,” you bury your face in his shoulder, incapable of letting go.

And the changed Joker squeezes you closer to him, shocked at the craziness that followed the first encounter with the lost and forgotten childhood friend. He doesn’t know what the future holds, but one thing’s for sure: his life will never be the same.