#i am so grateful for all my pals

[vulpixelates]

a friend told my wife and i today "thank you for loving me in a way that helps me love myself" and i can't stop thinking about it and tearing up

i love friends, i love friendship, i love comradery between lesbians and the soft, warming romance of sharing yourself with others even when it's hard or scary

[heymacy]

IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder

╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher

[good-beans]

.

[aeide-thea]

thinking abt like. if you introduce someone to something you're into and they're like, wow, that's so awesome, you're probably tickled that they dig it and are seemingly a kindred spirit at least that far; if you then introduce them to another thing you're into and they're again like, wow, that's so awesome, you're probably still pleased but also perhaps guiltily wondering whether they know any other adjectives; and if you introduce them to a third thing and yet again they're like, wow, that's so awesome, you're probably asking yourself, was any of that affirmation actually real or is this person just so reflexively accommodating that they've been turning off whatever independent critical faculties they possess in order to play a better yes-man???

(for values of 'you' that primarily mean 'me' obviously)

[sugarhillpark]

MREDHH is probably my most reread wip fic ever it's so iconic to my personal lore tysm legend ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Yooo, this is so kind. People like you are the oxygen keeping that fic alive in the Saw trap that is my brain lmao. I have been sitting at home Struggling with this breast reduction recovery and I needed this bump ngl. 💗Also, don't think I didn't see your comment on the last update post also and I just want you to know that comment single-handedly dragged me by the neck back into the Molly Ringwald word doc that was just languishing because I've been so in my head about how bad a job I have done with that fic. Which like, @ myself who cares? Who caaaarrrees? It was meant to be so trashy in the first place. And here someone is writing out the acronym for it and all so that's gotta mean it's Made It in the Possessing the Value of Injecting Joy stakes right.

Anyway, fanfic commenters are the real big time legends and I've put the start of the next chapter under the cut for you in case you wanna peep at it. 🖤 This segment (500 words/ish) not a hard R but ratcheting in that direction fast so probably a bit spicy to read at various places.

 “Is that alright?” Mikey asks. He bites his lip, sinking his little vampire teeth into the wet pink flesh as he looks up at Ray. Ray’s knees are weak at the way it looks anxious and loaded at the same time, like Mikey’s shy but he still knows Ray’s answer.

“God, do you know how pretty you are?” Ray murmurs. Mikey half shakes his head but his teeth glint in a tiny smile, lashes batting as he watches Ray’s face. Ray shivers as the wet underwear inside his sweatpants drip down his legs. He realises the water’s already not as cold, because his skin there is getting so hot. The way the cool drips lick down his thighs as Mikey’s tongue swipes across his lower lip makes Ray exhale hard. “Yeah. God, yeah.” He tosses the t-shirt in his hand aside. “Come over here, please.”

Mikey’s lips split into a wide, wet smile that glistens under the bathroom light bulb as he walks slowly over to Ray, water droplets still slithering down his own skin and his feet leaving damp prints on the tiles.

“Are you sure?” he asks as he takes that last step into Ray’s reach. Ray wraps an arm around his damp waist to steady him on the wet tiles, heavy breath audible in his own ears as the water on Mikey’s naked skin catches in the hairs on his arm.

“Yeah, of course,” Ray murmurs, squeezing his arm around him and gasping as Mikey goes easily with the pressure and rubs his chest against Ray’s. Ray wants to kiss him again, kiss him with his hand on his skull and tell him how perfect he is the way he’s played it out with his hand shoved down his pants in his dorm, but as he goes to lean in Mikey takes his other hand.

“You can touch me,” Mikey tells him, limbs going all liquid and relaxed against him in a way that makes Ray swallow as Mikey trails Ray’s hand past his hip. Ray’s had girls turn soft and pliant against him like this when they want to turn him on. And he’s seen Mikey like this too, happy as he leans back against a hard body in the pit or draped around Pete at a party, eyes slitted in pleasure, calculatedly slinky and passive.

 “You already have me,” Ray mumbles, squeezing at Mikey’s wrist and smiling as he rubs his face against Mikey’s throat. “You really don’t have to persuade me, Mikey.” 

Mikey pulls back, listing sideways and looking at Ray with rapid-blinking eyes, like his thoughts are askew too. Ray’s thoughts of self-preservation catch up with his mouth too late and he realises that Mikey’s stunned look tracks. Ray would probably also look a tad off-kilter in his position. It’s not like Mikey has any idea that Ray’s been trying and failing not to watch him anytime they’re in the same place, panting like one of those cartoon wolves with giant eyeballs and lolling tongues. Ray swallows and resolves not to pull out anything else so honest.  

“That’s not what, uh,” Ray rasps out a laugh. “Please keep touching my hands.” He tucks his chin down as he flushes. “I liked that part.”

“Your hands,” Mikey repeats. He still looks caught off-guard as Ray darts his eyes up at him in embarrassment, but he takes Ray’s hand where he’d been guiding it down over his hip and plays with it instead, trailing his long fingers over Ray’s palm and then softly pushing them through the gaps between Ray’s digits as he looks up through his lashes.

[bluelancelion]

So👏

I'm watching Merlin for the first time and I'm absolutely floored by it and by how much I fell in love with Merthur and the Knights, so here's a couple of Modern! AU that popped in my mind.

Rugby Champion/Nerd AU

- Probably a classic, I'd be surprised if ao3 wasn't plenty of it.

- Of course Arthur is Captain of the rugby team and of course Merlin is the guy sitting in the library all day.

- Don't ask me how they meet don't ask me how they fall in love, they just do

- Arthur's father is the school's principal

- And for this reason there's some people hating on Arthur cause they believe he has privileges

- Spoiler: he doesn't (or denies any of it when his father offers some) but due to this he finds hard to trust people

- Hence he trusts only his teammates aka true friends aka the squad!

- And Merlin of course

- Literally Heartstopper but make it #merthur with gay! Merlin and #bi-and-still-in-the-closet Arthur

Musicians AU

- Merlin goes to a public school and no one knows he's literally a world wide known classic musician

- Idk how don't ask

- Arthur is like the popular guy who plays guitar and all girls love him yadda yadda

- he has a band (must have the boys in every merthur fic sorry not sorry)

- Leon is the bassist, Percy the drummer, Gwaine the second guitar, Elyan is the dj and plays the keyboard, while Lancelot is the singer

- Again don't ask why don't ask how but Merlin and Arthur fight or argue and end up talking ever since

- Maybe Arthur was teasing him about knowing nothing about music

- Merlin silently snickering like *You dare to fight me with your half cheap-ass rock band when rich people spend thousands to listen me play at operas lmao you fool*

- But for some reason he can't tell him that or reveal his secret or else he'll be forced to change school (I dunooooo)

- So Arthur has no idea Merlin is a genius at music

- But.

- He notices Merlin has a perfect pitch, and something like- He can't explain it but Merlin has something with music, like a touch, so he invites him over to listen to his band

- All band members fall in love with him and side with him against Arthur when the two have their - now friendly - banters

- Bros being bros - Dudes being Dudes

- Idk what I was going for with this but IMAGINE WHEN THEY FIND OUT

- Like

- Imagine this fragile boi all cute smiles and sassy remarks and Arthur goes into protective mode cause he develops a crush-

And like, Arthur has a rock band so they look cool and they don't fear anyone in case Merlin gets bullied or something

And then they see him, for the first time-

Wearing a black/navy blue suit that costs thousand of dollars, walking in this giant golden opera with royal red drapes-

And he starts playing the piano for all these rich people and he's absolutely phenomenal

And suddenly Merlin fears Arthur won't be friends with him anymore or he'll fear he's gonna think Merlin is too "marvelous" to enjoy their little rock band

- But in reality Merlin loves them and he loves Arthur and Arthur honestly can't look at Merlin and see any other man than the guy he's been teasing and has argued with for all this time,

- aaand I don't know where I wanted to go with this as well lmao

Feel free to drop any completed fic link in the comments pls I am desperate :)

[jamesunderwater]

seeing a fellow nd trans person for therapy is just 🤌🏼

[zephyrchama]

Post Masterlist

(*not currently being updated because this post won't let me add any more links. Am looking for a workaround and will hopefully update it shortly!)

Headcanons and Silly Ideas List

Groupchat without MC High Pitched Noises When the HoL is too dirty Angrily using their full titles MC and alcohol MC's schedule Mammon's Nightmare Levi's Room Password Satan and Goncharov Sneezing Solomon in Nightbringer but based on WandaVision Brothers & Long haired MC Outside their Comfort Zones Soap Cursing False Eyelashes Chin on Palm Challenge Diavolo's Events Morning Routine Fasting MC April Fool's Sleeping in the HoL's shared space Luke learns slang Different Tastes Unnoticed :D Jobs Fridge Art Hatsuharu Belphegor Fall in love again

Cursed Chips Overly Expectant Asmo Asserting Dominance Mammon's First Grimm MC and periods Reluctant Thirteen Lucifer's Portrait Mammon's Wallet Would Lucifer still love you as a worm? Welcome Home Hugs Your foot feels hot Waking Mammon Up RAD's Uniforms Confident Levi Your Favorite Song House of Lamentation MC's Phone Background Laundry Master Something on Beel's face Diavolo's Pen Pal Barbatos' purse Language (Lucifer & Mammon) Satan & non-booksmart MC

On Your Shoulder MC on a sports team Movie with Mammon Asmo's MC scarf Beel & Grated Cheese Hand Holding (Barbatos) Belphegor's wake-up call Sweaty Beelzebub Demon Sayings Hand holding is magic (Solomon) "Whatcha got there, Satan?" Necklace (Mammon & Lucifer) Lucifer Charging Station Can't be trusted in MC's house (+ Diavolo's part two) 6 o'clock (Beelzebub) Do you know where your human exchange student is? Inhuman Abilities (Luke) Barbatos' Birthday Invites

Mini Fics

From Sheep to Human Free Massage Tickets Movie Night with Diavolo and Barbatos Church Wedding Back cracking Lap Pillow (Mammon and Belphegor) Rushed April Fools Day 2024 piece (boop) Levi needs a break Is Simeon's fridge running? Paper cut (Satan) Punching Bag Going Away The Cuddle Pile Knowing Everything Water Wrinkles A New Game Hide & Seek Sunshine (Mammon, Levi, Belphegor) Late Night Activities (Lucifer) The Most Popular Book The Problem with Naps (Belphegor) Dark Past Barbatos Birthday

Ask Requests (that I've gotten to so far)

Wasp fear Vampire MC A crumb of Leviathan fluff Follow-up to MC with Periods Birthday

Info about the blog owner:

Hi! I've very recently gotten into writing and wanted to give it a chance, in vague hopes of writing an original story some day. I've been playing Obey Me! since literally the day the OG was released. I don't read much fanfic or do fandom stuff much at all, but it seemed fun and I wanted to try getting closer to the fandom. I am a hardcore cosplayer so whenever a convention is coming up this blog will get slow as I focus on sewing. I'm close to 30 years old, I'm ace which is why this blog has suggestive content but won't really get more intense than that. My asks are open but expect a really slow response because I am so shy hkgahkj. I take requests but no guarantee I'll write them, or it may take several months. Am also very open to constructive critique! Thanks for reading.

[mmhcs]

Say It With Your Chest

Warnings: None, maybe an emotionally constipated Miguel if that's not your thing

"Why don't you just confess?"

Miguel O'Hara shakes his head for the umpteenth time in the past hour.

Ay coño, how did he get here? he silently wonders, looking at Peter B. alongside quite literally the entire Spider Society—save for you—squeezed into his office.

It all started at around noon when Peter B. had walked up into his office both unceremoniously and unannounced. Today, he was without his daughter Mayday, making his steps quieter than they had been in the past few months. Unlike most days when he would call out for his (self-proclaimed) best buddy, this time Peter B. simply waited to be acknowledged, seeing that Miguel was in the middle of a squabble with Lyla.

"...Miguel, why don't you just say something?" she asked rather concerned. "The worst that could happen is that you get shot down. But if that happens then it just means that you're one step closer to finding The One."

The One?

Peter's eyebrow quirked upwards in curiosity and interest.

For as long as he's known Miguel O'Hara, Peter had never heard Miguel discuss dating, marriage, or anything romotely related to the realm of romance for that matter.

But now—now Miguel possibly had a crush? Someone who he was interested in and, judging by Lyla's words, wanted to pursue?

Peter had to know more.

But just as he opened his mouth to chime in, Miguel spoke.

"Lyla, please," he said, waving his hand as if to shoo her away. "We don't need to discuss this."

"But we do!" Lyla exclaimed, throwing her arms up the air. "Miguel, this could be the start of something. Who knows? Maybe one day you two will get married, have some children—"

"Lyla!"

"Sorry, sorry!" Lyla said, this time truly apologetic.

Miguel sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Please, Lyla, this—whatever this is—" he spread his arms, gesturing to something that wasn't there "—doesn't matter. It will go away in a few weeks, give or take and—"

"But it's been months! Almost a year!"

Almost a year?

Okay, now Peter really had know more about this little crush of Miguel’s.

"Lyla!" Miguel sighed again. "(Y/N)—how am I supposed to talk to someone who barely shows up at HQ? It's not like I have much wiggle room here,"

"But you do have a best friend who is friends with (Y/N) and as of today has a burning desire to see you two together!" Peter finally spoke up.

From there, Miguel’s day went downhill. At first, it was just Peter. Which, though not ideal, was fine. But then Jess came in and after her Ben Reilly, then Miles, Gwen, Hobie, and Pavitr...And then before Miguel knew it, quite literally the entire Spider Society was in his lab, talking over one another as they shouted useless love advice.

Except you.

It always irked Miguel that you preferred to limit your time at HQ as much as possible. But today—today he couldn't be more grateful for your choice.

"Hey, what's going on in here?"

He spoke too soon.

The entire room goes silent and every Spider including Miguel turns to face you.

"Uh...hi?" You give a sheepish wave of your hand.

"(Y/N)!" Peter exclaims. "So great to see you!"

Miguel winces at how overtly friendly Peter is being right now. If he's behaving like this then he can only imagine how the other Spiders will act.

"It's great to see you too, Peter," you say, glancing around. There are so many Spiders in here. Some of them you haven't even spoken to before. "And everybody. I'm sorry if I'm interrupting—or should have been here. I don't know. I just dropped by to ask about my schedule for this week."

"Oh, your schedule?" Peter's mouth shifts to one side of his face as he puts a hand on his chin. "Hmm, well, while I personally don't know anything about that, I think you should ask my pal Miguel."

"Okay..."

All the eyes in the room fell back to Miguel like dominoes. Hums of agreement with Peter's sentiments begin to echo throughout the room.

"So, about my schedule..." you say once you are face-to-face with Miguel.

You glance around between every sentence or two, seemingly painfully aware of how crowded the room is and how many people are eagerly watching your interaction. It causes something to stir within Miguel, seeing you so uncomfortable and nervous.

"...I will email you your schedule again," Miguels explains, trying to act as normal as possible. "I did before but it seems that something hasn't went through properly. For now, you have nothing scheduled, though. You can go home and relax."

Miguel swears that he hears a few awwws from the masses.

"As for the rest of you," he begins, now addressing the hoards of unwelcome visitors. He's let this go on for far longer than it should have. "I am certain that at least two quarters of you have some type of assignment to do. I suggest that you all stop dilly-dallying and get back to work because though you do not have paychecks, you will have to work late tonight if everything isn't finished at the appropriate time."

There is a collective groan amongst all the Spiders as the door opens and they begin to file out of Miguel’s office. You stifle a giggle at the pairs of sad yet uneven eyes you see.

Before Peter leaves, he turns to you two and gives Miguel two thumbs up that you imagine to be directed at Miguel. He is Peter's best buddy after all.

"Was there an impromptu meeting that I wasn't told about?" you ask, turning to face Miguel as soon as you two are alone.

Though this is technically not a job and you do prefer to be in your own universe rather than at HQ, you still wanted to fulfill your duties and be a committed member to the team.

"No, there was no meeting," Miguel reassures you as he turns away and begins walking to his platform. "There was a...matter that the others found particularly interesting. It was all Peter's idea, really."

Judging by the annoyance in his voice, you think that you should be glad that you missed whatever transpired earlier.

"Oh, okay then," You nod. "If I'm not needed then I'll be returning to my universe for the rest of the day. Goodbye, Miguel. Goodbye, Lyla."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day you and Peter B. are strolling through the cafeteria of the Spider Society, munching on empanadas.

You occasionally glance down at his once again empty baby carrier—Mayday was upstate, attending the birthday party of her maternal cousins, Peter explained earlier—finding it abnormal to see him without the young girl that the entire Spider Society has grown to love.

"So, what was so interesting that everyone had to gather in Miguel's office to discuss yesterday?" you ask.

You often felt like you came in to HQ at the wrong times. Always after something happens. You were rarely ever there to be apart of the moment and often had to resort to asking your friends to fill you in. And normally that sufficed. But this time—whatever it was that had happened yesterday obviously had HQ in a chokehold.

"Oh, what, yesterday?" Peter scoffed, waving a shaky hand. "Oh please, yesterday; who even talks about the past like that? Today is tomorrow's yesterday."

"Come on, Peter!" you whine, slightly nudging him. "I know it has something to do with Miguel. Everyone has been talking about how weird he was acting yesterday before I came in—What was it? Is he okay?"

"Okay? Miguel is more than okay," Peter laughs. "He's fine. Really fine actually, don't you think?"

"Uh-huh..." You nod, not knowing how to respond to that last comment. You've grown to learn that a part of Miguel and Peter's friendship also included not-so-subtle innuendos from Peter.

"Don't worry about him—he's great. Fantastic. Nothing wrong with him. Or nothing more than the usual at least."

You know Peter is lying. But what you don't know is why.

Normally, Peter B. Parker is an open book. He'll tell you about Mayday's gassiness, show you a picture he took of a thing that he thought was cool, tell you about all of his favorite sports teams, or how he and MJ finally got a night to themselves and how amazing it was. Nothing is a secret with this man.

Until now.

It makes your curiosity double.

"Peter..." you start, trying to put on your best set of puppy dog eyes. "Come on, just tell me. You said that Miguel is fine—is it something embarrassing? You don't have to tell me if it is but I just—everyone is talking about it. You can't even get through the coffee line without being asked about 'it'."

Peter's nervous expression softens into a frown for a second.

He feels bad. Really, really bad.

On the one hand, he wants to tell you. He really does. He doesn't like it when others feel left out. Especially you. You're not known to frequent HQ unlike so many other Spiders and he knows how much that affects your social status amongst the rest.

But on the other hand, he can't tell you. Because it's Miguel's secret. Probably one of the deepest, most darkest ones he's had in a long time. What kind of best friend would Peter be if he told you?

It's already bad enough that the rest of the Spider Society knows. They've been teasing the poor guy to no end about his crush on you.

Peter bites down on his lip. Oh, the woes of being so friendly and trusted.

"Hey guys, what’s going on?" Gwen Stacy waves at the two of you.

Behind her is Hobie, Miles, and Pavitr who give you and Peter their own forms of greeting as well.

"Gwen," you say almost desperately and Peter gets nervous. He looks at all four of the kids, silently begging them to keep quiet.

"Do you know what happened yesterday with Miguel? Everyone's been talking about it all day and I feel like if one more person says something about whatever it is, my brain is going to explode."

Now Gwen seems to have been bitten by the same nervous bug that Peter was when you asked him previously.

Her eyes widen and she begins looking at everything but you.

"Oh, that?" she laughs nervously. "That was nothing. You know how everyone likes to rag on Miguel. Right, guys?"

The only one who backs her up is Miles. And his response does more damage as he says, "Who's Miguel?"

You sigh, facepalming.

"Hobie, you'll tell me, right?" you half-ask, half-plea.

"Sorry, mate," Hobie shrugs, a smirk on his face. "Information's kind of classified."

Okay, now you really want to know what happened yesterday. Not even Hobie will tell you? Something monumental must have happened yesterday.

Still desperate, you turn your gaze to Pavitr who immediately tenses.

"Don't look at me!" he says, frantically waving his hands in front of his chest. "I don't know anything!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The day after next, you find yourself standing outside of Miguel’s office.

Though Miguel promised that he would resend you your schedule for the week, you have yet to receive it. And it's already Thursday. You don't even want to think about how many assignments you've missed. You'll probably have to stay late next week, so much so that you may even catch a glimpse of the mythical "zombie Miguel" that spends the night at HQ and only comes out of his office for coffee.

Or so you've heard from other Spiders.

You knock on the door once before entering.

"Miguel?" you say both in greeting and question. "I wanted to talk to you about my schedule; I've still yet to receive it and—"

"Leave."

You stop dead in your tracks. Once again, you've heard about the infamous "moody Miguel" but you've yet to encounter him.

"Did you hear what I said? Leave and I'll make sure that I get to it as soon as I can. I'm busy right now."

You look up and see Miguel focused on his screens, typing away.

A bit of relief flows through your body. Miguel isn't in a bad mood; he's focused. Probably doing something very tedious and imperative to the Multiverse's ensurance—

"(Y/N)?" Now Miguel has looked up from his screen and his eyes are on you, studying you intently. "You still didn't get your schedule yet? I've emailed that to you about a thousand times now."

"You have?" you frown, checking your watch. You haven’t gotten anything from him.

"Yes, is there something wrong with your watch?"

With a wave of Miguel's hand, the screens disappear.

"I don't know," you say, staring down at your wrist. "Maybe there's an update or two that I missed? Whatever it is, don't worry about it. If could please just tell me what I have assigned, I'll be out of your hair in two seconds."

"You can't leave," Miguel tells you with a sterness that makes your heart jump a little. He must see the fear in your eyes because he softens then explains, "I think that there's something wrong with your watch. You can't leave until I at least inspect it. Walking around with a damaged watch could have consequences that I think we would both like to not deal with. You can put on a day pass and chat with Lyla in the meantime."

"Are you sure?" you ask, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, I'm sure," Miguel says as Lyla silently flickers into existence, a day pass in her hand. "I know I told you to leave earlier but that was just because I thought that you were another Spider. I...I've been trying to avoid them all week."

"Is this about your..." you trail off, not wanting to breach the subject.

Miguel's eyes widen. He feels his heart rate pick up and his limbs freeze in place.

"It's okay, I don't know anything!" you quickly reassure him. "Not a single soul would tell me today! Not Peter, not Hobie—and believe you me, I tried to get them to."

A little smile creeps onto Miguel's face at that. Maybe some people can keep a secret.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Peter B. Parker is estatic. Proud. Elated. Overjoyed.

Over the past few weeks, you and Miguel have been spending more time together. And that could only mean one thing. That Miguel finally confessed his feelings for you and that you two were dating. Or at least seeing where things go.

And Peter couldn't be happier for the two of you.

Yes, he does miss having his best buddy (you, of course) to sit and devour cafeteria food with but he understands what it's like to be in that honeymoon phase with your partner where all you want to do is be around them.

He sees the way that Miguel smiles at you when you're not looking, how a look of absolute and utter softness overtakes his features each time he glances at you. Peter gets it. And he's happy to see his bestest pal in the whole Multiverse finally get the love that he deserves.

"Hey, Peter!" you call from down the hall.

"Well, well, well, look who it is," Peter crossed his arms and pops a hip to mimic a sassy pose. "You finally got a chance to come and visit me, eh?"

"Peter," you laugh, playfully swatting his shoulder. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about how you suddenly get a tall, handsome boyfriend and abandon me!" Peter huffs. "I haven't seen you in a week! I had to eat empanadas in the cafeteria by myself yesterday morning. Do you know how much of a sad, old lonely fool I looked like!?"

You can't help but giggle at Peter's dramatics.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Peter," you say. "How about we go and get lunch right now? Miguel and I are supposed to head out on a patrol later this afternoon and I need all the fuel that I can get; he goes so fast sometimes,"

"Ugh, you lovebirds sicken me."

You quirk an eyebrow at Peter. Does he actually think that you and Miguel are dating?

"Ha-ha Peter, very funny..." you deadpan. "Miguel and I aren't dating; we're just friends."

"You are!?!"

Why did he seem genuinely upset by that?

"Yes?" You give Peter a look of concern. Has he lost his marbles?

"Uh, (Y/N), you go to the cafeteria and grab us some food and seats. I'll be right back—I have to go do something."

Without further explanation, Peter rushes past you, giving you no time to question him further.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Lyla, what time is it?"Miguel asks.

Though he knows that the outing between you and him is not taking place until a couple of hours later, he knows that he has a tendency to get lost in his work and, before he knows it, the hours have slipped away like water.

It's why he normally prefers to go on patrols alone but you had insisted on coming, claiming that you wanted to explore other universes—especially the one that housed the Society—and, well, who was he to deny a Spider the opportunity to learn more? And you—his friend—no less?

Miguel takes in a deep breath, his chest growing tight and fuzzy as memories of you flood his mind.

He moves to go back to work when he hears the door of his laboratory slam open.

"Miguel!" Peter yells.

He sighs. This couldn't be good.

"You didn’t confess!?!"

Miguel freezes.

Mierda.

[victoriawhimsey]

🌸SUPPORT MY DEAR BEST FRIEND HAZEM TANNERA! HELP HAZEM REACH £10,000 BY SUNDAY, SO HIS MOM & LITTLE SISTER CAN EVACUATE TO EGYPT & BE WITH HIM 🌸

🌙 As-salamu Alaikum, this is Hazem Tannera, a 25 year old civil defense rescuer from Gaza. Hazem is currently in Egypt to receive treatment for his health that he has been struggling with. Hazem has a pituitary brain tumor which is causing severe headaches, and is now negatively affecting his eyesight. He will find out very soon if he will continue his treatment, or have to have surgery. 🌙

🌼Hazem has 10 family members which consist of Hazem’s 2 parents, 2 brothers, 2 sisters, and 3 children. They are all still trapped in Gaza. 🌼

‼️His family’s home was destroyed and they have lost everything. They are currently displaced and living in a tent while unable to seek safety or find basic necessities needed for survival.‼️

▫️This is what is left of Hazem’s neighborhood▫️

⚡️Hazem is fundraising for his family in order for his family to obtain everything they need for survival, and most importantly so they can evacuate Gaza to be in Egypt with him. Due to Hazem’s current health it is very difficult for him to do any of this on his own, so he truly needs all of the help and support he can possibly receive. He is very grateful for anyone who helps him in any way.⚡️

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‼️HAZEM’S FUNDRAISER IS VETTED BY ME THROUGH THE COMMUNITY PROCESS OF VETTING THROUGH PALI PALS‼️

Thank you for your support

@heliopixels @half-empty-orbitals @voidofryu @lonniemachin @kinojoy @watermelons-are-cool @moonssugar @lizlives @dvanaestmrva @certaincloudconnoisseur @tsaricides @pretendingtobeaperson @b100ming @brokenbackmountain @000marie198 @retvolution @pcktknife @komsomolka @beside-myself-with-glory @deathlonging @deansmultitudes @spremutadarancia @hoosketts @anneemay @annoyingloudmicrowavecultist @akajustmerry @vaporize-employers @pollackpatrol @pomodoko @chronicschmonic @mahoushojoe @lesbiandardevil @unfortunatelyuncreative @bluebellsinthedells @fromjannah @ramelcandy @raelyn-dreams @devilofthepit @dochudson @tiredguyswag @beesofink @petracourtjester @tumkaafiho @im-living-under-your-basement @sleevesareforlosers @ihavenoideashelp @abricktothehead @magiciansquest @nightowlssleep

[good-beans]

✨️💖

[housepartyprotocol]

Romeo and Juliet - Part 2

Lando Norris X Ferarri Driver!Reader

Y/N is a powerhouse driver in F1, an icon dressed in Ferarri red. So when a driver in blue (and orange) has eyes for her, how will she react? How will the public react? With twists and turns and ships, how will this story end, let's hope not how the original story ends.

Part one

Masterlist / TipJar

ynusername

liked by landonorris, charlesleclerc, lewishamilton and 453,772 others

ynusername one more year done, many more to come.

Thank you to my friends and family for a lovely evening xx

view all 12,548 others

user1 Happy 25th lovely!

scuderiaferarri Happy birthday to our principessa

ynusername Thank you my lovely team

charlesleclerc A lovely evening, me and my love where incredible grateful for the invite. I hope you loved our gift

ynusername It was a puppy! charlesleclerc A friend for Leo!

landonorris Thank you for letting me tag along good looking

ynusername You are most welcome x user2 You can't tell me they aren't dating user3 Isn't she dating Lewis Hamilton user4 Not confirmed

lewishamilton Happy birthday girly

liked by ynusername user5 why can't they be together ! They would be so hot !

landonorris

liked by ynusername, charlesleclerc, georgerussell and 363,362 others

landonorris Birthday celebrations for the best (only) girl on the grid

view all 5,236 comments

user6 Goddamn he's hot

georgerussell Cropped me out of the photo wow

landonorris Gotta keep in the money maker liked by ynusername georgerussell Harsh ! hah user7 Y/N liked that...

ynusername Glad you had a fun time

landonorris Of course

lewishamilton Nice photos Lando

user8 I want my parents together

ynusername

liked by ynusername, charlesleclerc, lewishamilton, 603,983 others

ynusername Canada is so kind. Let it be kind on the track

view all 6,397 comments

user9 Oh Canada!!

landonorris I hope you win, not really I hope I win (I hope you do well)

ynusername Wow, thank you ? liked by landonorris

scuderiaferarri Picturing podiums as part of the process

ynusername Always. Always. user10 Ferarri fan for life

charlesleclerc I see us win (where is Leo's pal?)

ynusername Vettel is sleeping back home at Monaco user11 The puppy is called Vettel! landonorris Vettel is so cute liked by ynusername

user12 Any updates about Lewis

user13 I don't believe the rumours personally user14 I think they are slow soft launching user15 No I like her with Lando more user16 She's allowed not to have anyone

f1news

liked by 7,962 users

f1news Snippets from Lewis Hamilton most recent interview. He speaks so highly about Y/N, it’s adorable. People are focusing on the final clip from the interview where he dodges a question about Y/N and him by calling her a “completely breathtaking” girl. Are they not together?

view all 488 comments

user17 Sir Lewis Hamilton is delicious, downright edible

user18 How is he not in love with her? He sounds it

user19 I’m holding out for Lando they have a much better chemistry recently user18 and your evidence for that is a couple interactions in comment sections and in the paddock user19 That's the same evidence we have for Lewis x Y/N aside from this

landonorris

liked by ynusername, georgerussell, charlesleclerc and 438,627 others

landonorris Disappointing DNF for us today, but relaxing with the best person

view all 8,300 comments

georgerussell Sorry about you DNF mate, happy to see you happy

landonorris I am very

user20 I bet that's Y/N

user21 It better not be, Y/N should be with Lewis user22 Lando doesn't deserve her user23 We don't know if it is

user24 Aww this is so cute

mclaren Spain next Lando!

landonorris Onwards and Upwards liked by ynusername

ynusersame <3

liked by landonorris user25 Guys It must be her user26 She commented the same hearts on Lewis' soft launch user27 Y/N x Lewis superiority user28 Awwww

ynusername

liked by landonorris, charlesleclerc, carlossainzjr, and 698,253 others

ynusername @.landonorris <3

view all 7,607 comments

lewishamilton Happy for you kid

user29 He's happy for her, my heart ! user30 Lewis >>> Lando user31 STFU xx

landonorris Sunshine <3

user32 I'm dead, bury me 6 foot deep user33 PR stunt, it cannot be a real relationship user33 She is probably moving to McLaren user34 That makes no sense

scuderiaferrari A beautiful couple

liked by mclaren

charlesleclerc Gross take it off my feed

charlesleclerc Happy you two came to your senses ynusername What do you mean? charlesleclerc You two were gushing over each other behind each others back user35 Adorable user36 I want to be adopted

user37 This is upsetting and gross, they aren't good together

landonorris

liked by ynusername, charlesleclerc, georgerussell, and 403,639 others

landonorris Summer break with puppy cuddles

view all 4,398 comments

ynusername Give my Vettel baby back

landonorris You are confused that is my puppy ynusername I know where you live landonorris 😏 user38 Gag (Cute)

user39 Sickly sweet, I love it

georgerussell Too close for my liking children

ynusername Sorry dad, we will kiss in private georgerussell Good, daughter landonorris What the fuck is this ynusername Parenting 101 user40 HHAHAH WTF

user41 PR stunt

user42 I bet that's not her and she's dating Lewis

user42 They are a hotter cuter couple user43 Please get your head out of the grimy gutter liked by ynusername

f1news

liked by 1,353 users

f1news Sending our love and congratulations to Y/N L/N as she wins her first world championship with Ferarri. After a tight season against Max Verstappen, she wins by a 10-point lead. Her maiden championship, and I only see more for our queen.

view all 306 comments

user44 OUR Y/N, THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP WINNER

user45 Is she with Lando?

user46 She just won the entire year and all you can care about is her love life, leave it alone

user47 FERRARI

user48 The only true icon is red

user48 Ferarri red user49 Queen!

landonorris

liked by ynusername, lewishamilton, charlesleclerc, and 434,236 others

landonorris My sunshine, I have loved you since we were in F2 and you were the kinda scary but amazing driver who was winning races, but wouldn't give me the time of day. I later learnt you were told some incorrect things about me that built your walls up. After a racing incident in F1 years later, you heard me out, and here we are. Young, in love, a race winner and a world championship winner.

We've been through a lot already but I will always be by your side for eternity. I will love you forever my sunshine.

view all 6,380 comments

ynusername My cutie xx

user50 CuTiE ?!?!? landonorris Love you forever liked by ynusername

lewishamilton You two have my heart

landonorris How's your wife? lewishamilton She's brilliant, we will have you around soon ynusername Please, you've been keeping her from me lewishamilton Wow, just because you introduced us ynusername YES liked by landonorris

user51 My standards have boomed

charlesleclerc My non-bio sister and her tramp aww

landonorris Dude wtf ynusername What, its accurate x user52 Charles popping out to throw some shade at Lando user53 I love it

mclaren Beautiful couple

(a/n Ah, so this is done, I may revisit this world later in life but for now, read away. I was quite happy with this one, I think i have better ones coming for lando and other drivers but this is still brilliant. I hope you all like it x)

(taglist: @moonylightmoon @smw-96 @formulaal @fall-bambi @erin-odonnell04 @wondergirl101ks @chaoticmessneutralplease @hwalllllllelujah )

[andy-wm]

his “coming out” should not be in any way shape or form be connected to jungkook. idk why you shippers can’t leave them tf alone when they’re not dating ffs.

[Select.font=sarcasm]

Oooh I am so glad you came here to tell me this, Anon! You are clearly well informed on both Jimin’s life, and "coming out".

I didn't even know that "coming out" needs to be in inverted commas. Thank you for helping me understand.

I also didn't know what his "coming out" should or should not be! I didn't know there were rules for "coming out"! I'm so grateful to have this information now.

I hope you've also told Jimin how he should "come out"?

I hope he listens to you since obviously, you have his happiness at heart.

Because "coming out" with no significant other to support him - and facing the inevitable repercussions alone - that would DEFINITELY make things better for him, right?

Also we all know how much Jimin LOVES being alone, so naturally we should wish that for him.

Objectively, he would be happier if he was single I guess? Because having a secure and healthy long term relationship with someone who loves and supports you is known to be pretty shit. Makes sense... that's why nobody looks for love. They certainly don't write songs about love.

Ever.

People aspire to being isolated, like Jimin showed us this with his song Serendipity.

When he sang "just let me love you" he probably meant he wanted to be single and live alone forever in his bubble. That makes sense.

And of course they aren't dating!

You're right, there's absolutely nothing special between Jimin and Jungkook. They are 100% platonic and good pals.

It would be ridiculous to look at them and see love and intimacy.

I dont know what love looks like, but this is not it...

Definitely not this either.

Just friends here.

So friendly!

Brothers even!

Keeping to the bro code here too, 100%

Absolutely no crossing of boundaries here....

I always caress my friend's clothes when I sing their own love song back to them. Especially when my face is less than a foot from their face. It's very platonic.

Anyway, there's no reason to think they might be dating.

Why would people even think they COULD be?

It's unimaginable.

Society has never ignored or dismissed loving romantic relationships between same-sex couples, and that's certainly not what you're doing. Not at all. You just know they aren't dating because ... reasons.

I'm sure you don't object to Jimin being gay because that would be homophobic (you even know how he should "come out"). If that was the case you might as well just get a tattoo of an L on your forehead and throw away all your Jimin merch because our boy is gayer than a rainbow cake. Gayer even than the rainbow cake his appa has *always in stock* in his coffee shop in Busan.

And if you generously tolerate his gayness, i imagine you will allow that one day he could date (definitely not now, because he probably has no interest in sex. He's too busy working and anyway he has ARMY to love him) yeah, but not now please.

But one day he could have a nice boyfriend who sits beside him on the sofa and smiles benignly and holds his hand like a good boy.

Definitely NOT one that sings about fucking night after night seven days a week, or watching in 3D, or DEAR GOD... the imagery... champagne confetti.

Not someone who sings Sam Smith songs on his Live, or who goes around whacking off fire hydrants in his music videos or miming blow jobs on national tv.

Not someone that demands you see him as an adult who enjoys adult things and wont accept your judgement of him. Not one who puts boundaries in place.

Not someone who (the audacity!) lies in bed naked and begs Jimin to come over.

And that brings us to the villain of our story:

JEON JUNGKOOK

I guess, since you will allow a relationship in theory, you just object to the idea of a relationship specifically with Jungkook.

And I can see why. Jungkook very obviously has no interest in Jimin’s happiness. Jungkook doesn't support him at all.

He doesn't hold jimin when he cries, he doesn't spam us with Jimin content when Jimin has a comeback, he doesn't cook Jimin’s favourite food for him, or fold his underpants while he does his own laundry.

He doesn't take him on trips to Japan, or send thirst-trap messages for his birthday, or play his songs, or sing on his albums.

He doesn't carry him, bridal style, any time Jimin jumps into his arms, and I can guarantee you that he doesn't let Jimin fuck him just the way Jimin likes it, as often as he wants it, wherever and whenever he gets the chance. And vice versa.

They didn't enlist in the military as companions, after all.

So reallly, what would Jungkook even know about Jimin's happiness?

What could he POSSIBLY know about Jimin that you don't know. Nothing, right?

What could POSSIBLY happen behind closed doors and away from the camera, that you don't see with your third eye and your vivid imagination? Again, nothing. You know ALL, right?

[Deselect.font=sarcasm]

I think we've covered everything?

Theres only one thing left to say i guess.

Whoever you are, you'd do well to consider whose happiness you're supporting.

If you don't support what makes Jimin happy, you don't support Jimin. Period.

[kelseytheballerina]

woa kelsey what happened

2pretty -> kelseytheballerina, as I’m sure you’ve noticed by now. I’ve been over the 2pretty name for a while now and just ready for something that feels more ‘me’.

my YouTube channel name will match this one now too, so angelkels -> kelseytheballerina

I want to get a refresh on this blog so I’m going to private everything while I go through it all and make them public again as I decide what I want to keep. This account has been feeling pretty stale to me for a minute. Like we can do better than this!

I’ve decided to close down my patreon as well. As much as I sincerely appreciate everyone who has supported me there (like wow that’s so kind of you all???), I just don’t use it often enough and I dont feel comfortable charging you lovely people for something I barely log in to. I really do prefer having all of my content here as a one stop shop where everyone can view and enjoy it as normal, no payment required :) Again, I am so grateful to all of you who flocked to the patreon and supported me but I think it’s just not what I’m into right now. Your generosity has meant a lot to me and I hope no one is upset by my decision. I'm still doing pen pals though ♡

I had 27 (yes, TWENTY-SEVEN) videos made and ready to go but I accidentally lost them ALL. Hours and hours worth of content…gone. Just like that. When I tell you that I was in a depressed rage for the past 2 weeks…it doesn’t even begin to cover it. Like who wants to redo all that work? My maternity leave for ballet is ending so I was taking the time to batch film and now it’s just like…that was a waste of time. I couldn’t even open my computer for a while bc I was so upset. You don't understand, I've never felt this defeated before omg. I finally mustered up the morale to re-record but I kept leaving out shots, forgetting things I wanted to say, it just wasn’t as good as the original and that was sooo upsetting. Anyway I can’t stay upset about it forever so I have to force myself to get over it and just start remaking them as best as I can. Just know that even though I’m moving forward, inside I am the physical manifestation of gritted teeth, white knuckles and veins popping out 🙃. Did I buy a new external hard drive? Yes ma’am I did, with a swiftness!!

[idiopath-fic-smile]

more Singin' in the Rain ot3, now on the honeymoon boat

part one

part two

The ship was a grand one. Cosmo, whose nautical knowledge began and ended with that Douglas Fairbanks picture about pirates, could tell that much. There was a majestic dining room and a wide, clean promenade and state-of-the-art engines that would get them to Europe in just a few days. The dining room even featured a four-piece band, who were a little stiff but not half bad.

His room, his island of privacy away from Don and Kathy and their combined magnetic pull, was bigger than he expected, well-appointed. It went a little overboard embracing an Egyptian theme, although the decorators had tastefully stopped short of including an actual mummy in a giant stone sarcophagus. He was grateful for that. The piano, as promised, sat in the place of where a desk might normally be, keys gleaming invitingly.

There was just one problem.

“How,” said Cosmo, dropping onto the bed, “did you manage to accidentally book us two adjoining rooms?”

“I’m sorry,” said Don, crossing his arms. “There must’ve been a mix-up at the offices.”

“Maybe the travel agent heard wrong on the telephone,” said Kathy. She rubbed Don’s back consolingly. Don shot her a grateful look. It was all very sweet, probably.

“How?” said Cosmo again. “Nothing sounds like ‘adjoining.’ It doesn’t even have a rhyme.”

“Are you certain?” said Kathy.

Cosmo nodded; he’d already run through the alphabet, twice. “The closest I can get to is ‘disappointing.’” Don was leaning into Kathy’s back rub like a cat, but his face was full of uncatlike guilt. “Don,” said Cosmo, “look, pal, I appreciate the free ticket, but please tell me you’ll fix this.”

“I already talked to the cruise director and there aren’t other rooms,” said Don. “We’re out in the ocean, what do you want me to do, alert the coast guard?”

“Alert the coast guard,” said Cosmo, “flag down a passing mermaid, strike a bargain with Poseidon himself!” 

“Who?” said Don.

“The Greek god of the sea,” said Kathy, like that was the important part.

“I don’t speak any Greek,” Don replied, “do you?”

“I will swim to shore,” Cosmo said, to nobody in particular.

“We can swap over to a different ship when we get to port if we need to,” said Don, shoulders slumping uncharacteristically. He must’ve felt worse about his screw-up than he let on. “In the meantime, the door locks from both sides, so—”

“I’m not—worried that you’ll barge in at all hours pestering me for a cup of sugar,” Cosmo broke in.

Don blinked. Kathy went very still beside him.

Out loud, it sounded more suggestive than he’d meant. Why had he picked sugar, the sauciest ingredient of the baking world?

“Or flour,” he amended.

“Then what’s the trouble?”

“I.” Cosmo sighed. “Why am I the only person in this room who seems to know what a honeymoon is for?”

“Why,” said Don, wide-eyed, “what’s it for?”

“D’you think, if I jumped in the sea and started paddling now—” said Cosmo.

“Don’t worry,” said Kathy. “Don and I can be very quiet.”

And the trouble was, this was worse. The prospect of hearing them from the other side of a single thin door was one thing, and honestly it was plenty bad—Cosmo had played a role during several key moments of their courtship but at least he could say he didn’t know what they sounded like in the throes of passion—but for reasons that Cosmo did not feel like examining, the thought of them stifling themselves in the act, the thought of them naked in bed together, touching each other, biting down on a giggle or a moan, and whispering, ‘Shh, don’t wake Cosmo,’ made him feel like his whole stomach was a sore tooth.

“Don’t put yourselves out on my account,” he told them. Belatedly, he realized that was maybe the worst thing he could’ve said. He blushed, and then he stood, face still flaming—Damn his Irish complexion—nodded to them both, and fled to the promenade.

.

The ocean stretched in all directions as far as Cosmo could see. It was dizzying, and also strangely calming. He stared out at the waves and reminded himself, hardly for the first time, that it wasn’t Don’s fault how Cosmo felt about him. It wasn’t Don’s fault, and it wasn’t Kathy’s fault that she was maybe the most charming woman he’d ever met. You could certainly blame Don for booking the rooms, for not double-checking over the telephone, but there was no malice to it. They were both, at the end of the day, wonderful people who had decided to open this trip up to him for whatever reason, and besides, his bed was piled with any number of pillows he could jam over his head if they did make noise at night.

He stood there holding onto the railing for a long time. Eventually, he heard footsteps behind him. 

“Feeling better?” said Don quietly, almost lost under the roar of the water. Without really trying to, Cosmo turned to look at him. Under his coat, Don was wearing a nicer suit than before, and the color had returned to his face. He looked—well, he looked like a handsome movie star married to a gorgeous starlet. Don took a few steps and rested his hands next to Cosmo’s on the rail.

“It’s the salt air, I think,” said Cosmo, nodding. “Feels like I could do anything. Why, I might write another musical, wear my trousers baggy, become a pirate.”

“Your trousers are fine as is,” said Don.

Cosmo shrugged. “A little change can be good.”

“Sure, unless it isn’t.” Don sighed. It was an awfully sad sigh to be having about the fit of a guy’s pants, Cosmo thought, but then Don turned to him and added, “You know, we really have missed you.”

“Don,” said Cosmo patiently. “I was at your house this Thursday. I stayed for three hours. I drank all your gin.”

Don didn’t make a crack about the gin, which was probably a bad sign. “And before that?” 

Before that, it had been a while. Cosmo winced inwardly. “I’ve been busy,” he said, “you’ve been busy, Kathy’s been busy—”

“We invited you over, four different times,” Don interjected. “If I’ve done something, if we’ve done something, I wish you would just tell us.”

In front of them, the sea rolled and rolled. Cosmo thought about deflection, about twisting the moment into a joke, a sword duel where cold steel met only an outstretched rubber chicken: squeak.

He let out a long breath. “Why the Hell did you bring me along on your honeymoon?”

“We brought you along because we wanted you along,” said Don. “Whenever you’re not there, we wish you were. It doesn’t need to be any harder than that.”

“So it isn’t…” Cosmo started.

“What?” “You and Kathy aren’t having problems? Hoping for a buffer, or a distraction?” It was a very new theory on Cosmo’s part, and once the words had left his mouth, he realized how badly they fit the facts at hand.

Don smiled a private little smile. “Me and Kathy are doing just marvelously.”

“That’s splendid,” said Cosmo, because he had to say something, apparently. Marvelous didn’t bode well for Cosmo’s sanity at night, but it beat his friends being sad. “Lovely.” He let his cadences drift into a so-so British accent. “Capital show, old sport. Tip-top. Simpy spiffing.” Not his best work. 

Don lay a hand on Cosmo’s coat sleeve, at the elbow. “Do you want to come to dinner with us?” he said. “It’s meant to be a formal affair but you’ve still got time to change.”

Whenever you’re not here, we wish you were. Obviously, Don didn’t mean “whenever” in the strictest sense—Cosmo got the feeling he was not present in Don’s mind, say, when Don was in bed with his beautiful wife—but the thought now made him feel warmer than the gin had. It would be enough. It had to be.

“Sure,” said Cosmo, “why not,” and Don thumped him encouragingly on the back.

“Cosmo,” said Don as they headed back into the body of the boat, “piracy, really?” Cosmo grinned. “Don’t blame me, blame that salt air. Makes a man feel like anything’s possible.”

.

Kathy and Don looked enchanting at dinner, and Cosmo cleaned up alright too, if he didn’t say so himself.

The food was good—salmon with hollandaise sauce and French beans, braised duckling with apple sauce, some fancy beef thing, salad Dumas and ice cream for dessert—and the band had relaxed a smidge and was playing something from this century, which was nice.

Over dessert, Kathy told them about how, one night several months before meeting Don, she’d been at a speakeasy during what turned out to be a police raid.

“What were you doing in a speakeasy?” Cosmo asked before he could stop to think about it.

“Why, drinking milk and reading Austen, of course,” she replied, a picture of guilelessness. Don snickered, and she grinned.

“I walked full-speed into that one,” said Cosmo.

“Buddy, you ran,” said Don.

“I was drinking,” Kathy acknowledged, nodding, “but really that’s where the best dancing is. The best music, too.”

Cosmo, who lately only drank at parties or at home because it was easier and safer, nodded thoughtfully.

“Hot jazz?”

“The hottest, at least in Los Angeles. Once we’re back, we should all go!”

“I could always stand to take in more culture,” said Cosmo.

“Oh no,” said Don, “don’t let her pull you into her sordid past. Did you forget the end of the story is ‘and then the police came?’”

“That’s more the middle,” said Kathy. “Well, middle-end.”

“So how’d you escape the reaching arm of the law?” Cosmo asked.

Kathy swallowed her ice cream. “I saw the police were all rushing in through the front door, and I dashed to the back and through the performers’ dressing room. I’d done makeup for some of my school plays, so I fought my way up to the mirror, grabbed a grease pencil—a few lines here, a few lines there—borrowed an old coat of the back of a chair, ran maybe half a block, and pretended to be an old lady.”

“Really,” said Cosmo.

“It’s mostly in the walk and the posture,” she said. “And it helps that a few of the street lights were out.”

“And the cops were fooled?”

“One of them asked me if I’d seen any young people running that way,” said Kathy.

Cosmo clapped his hands together with glee. “Don, you married a criminal mastermind! Never make her angry.”

Don wrapped an arm around her shoulders and flashed her a besotted look. “I don’t intend to.”

Kathy nestled into the half-embrace. “Tell me more about—was it Coyoteville? With the ventriloquist.”

“Dead Man’s Fang,” said Cosmo. “And your wish is my command, but I don’t know what else there is to say. We came, we saw, we lost our sleeping arrangements to a puppet.”

“He tucked it in that night, remember?” said Don suddenly.

“He did!” said Cosmo, delighted.

Sometimes when Don started in on the official line about how they’d studied at the conservatory and the rest of that baloney, Cosmo worried that some part of Don believed it, that it was Cosmo’s job alone to remember how long they’d traveled that strange, bumpy, often farcical road together towards some measure of success and respectability in Hollywood. But Cosmo had completely forgotten that particular detail. He had burned it from his mind.

“After he fell asleep, one of you might have moved the dummy and claimed that bed,” Kathy pointed out.

“He left it with the head turned facing us, eyes open,” said Don. “Neither of us were touching that thing.”

“So instead, Cosmo had to put up with Don all night,” said Kathy solemnly.

“So instead, I had to put up with Don all night.”

He could still recall the potent mix of resignation, terror, and guilty excitement he’d felt, huddling up on that mattress together. Their act at the time had involved being in close quarters a lot—at one point, the choreography had Cosmo leap onto Don’s back and then immediately continue playing the fiddle—so it wasn’t like touching Don was a novelty, back then. But doing it offstage, out of costume, away from any onlookers except for Esther Quill the ventriloquist dummy, it had felt like an entirely different proposition. 

Don had been a real champ about it, though. When Cosmo had started shaking with withheld hilarity that this was his life, the punchline of all punchlines and nobody to share it with, not just Don’s best friend but his literal bedwarmer, Don had clearly assumed it was a simple case of the shivers, and so he’d bundled Cosmo close, tucked Cosmo’s head under his chin, and wrapped his arms around him, muttering warm in his ear about how if Cosmo dropped dead, Don was out a dance partner “and that whole routine wouldn’t work as a solo number, it’d go over like a brick.”

“Just imagine what barnyard animal they’d have you opening for then,” Cosmo had whispered back, because Oatmeal, Nebraska had already happened to them. “A pig who juggles. A cow acrobat. A chicken magician. Just a little sleight of wing, folks, nothing up my feathers.”

And Don had laughed, and held Cosmo tighter, and the ventriloquist had shushed them, which had made them both crack up again. It had been a long night, and not one Cosmo would forget in a hurry.

“Who runs hot as a Holland furnace, let me tell you,” he added now, in case his tone had shifted a few shades too close to dreamy.

“Oh, I know,” said Kathy, smiling.

Don raised an accusing finger at him. “Well, you were shaking like a leaf! You’re lucky I was there, especially when we didn’t have so much as a sheet of our own!”

“Wait, why didn’t you have any blankets?” asked Kathy.

“The blankets,” said Don airily, “were for the puppet.”

.

And so dinner had been a joy, and after that, Don and Kathy invited him back to their room for a drink or two, because they’d had the common sense to bring alcohol, which was of course not offered by the cruise. The three of them sat on Don and Kathy’s bed (much bigger than Cosmo’s—not that he was jealous, he didn’t need the space, but the sheer expanse of mattress really did rival a small country, and Cosmo was determined not to picture in any detail how the two newlyweds might make use of that) and passed a flask around and had some more laughs and when Cosmo next got a glimpse of his watch, it was three in the morning.

“I should go,” he said.

“You don’t have to,” said Kathy. She’d shucked off her heels at some point and now her stocking feet were in Cosmo’s lap. Don sat on her other side, head on her shoulder. He’d loosened his tie early on, and his suitcoat was draped over one of the bedposts. While they were drinking, it had all felt very natural. Looking at them now, Cosmo had the sense he was intruding on something private, something intimate.

Granted, they weren’t exactly trying to kick him out, but Kathy was drunk, or tired, or else she was both drunk and tired, and it was up to Cosmo not to outstay his welcome. They had a whole two weeks together, after all, and their rooms were barely a wall apart.

“My regrets, Cinderella,” said Cosmo, “but I can feel myself turning back into a pumpkin.” 

He made as if to stand, but her feet were in the way. Very gently, he picked up her ankles, lifted them off his legs, stood, turned her like they were doing some sort of a dance move, and deposited her feet in Don’s lap instead.

“There,” he said to no one. 

A long pause followed. Don and Kathy blinked up at him. He sorely regretted moving her. It had seemed like the most elegant solution. Probably he should’ve found one that didn’t involve taking hold of her legs, skin warm through the thin layer of nylon–

Kathy’s brow furrowed. “What makes you the carriage?” she said at last.

“What?” said Cosmo, who really did need to make an exit. 

“Cinderella,” said Don, apparently reading her mind, which was swell for them.

“Better that than the mouse footman,” Cosmo told her. “Or the lizard coachman. Or the horse.” Or—who else? There were a lot of characters in Cinderella, he realized.

“There’s a prince in that story, Cosmo,” said Kathy. “A human prince.”

“Yes,” said Cosmo, patiently, “and you’re married to him, your highness,” He sketched a little bow but Don and Kathy weren’t looking at him. They were having one of those silent couple conversations, with mostly their eyes and eyebrows. A career in movies before the advent of sound had probably given Don a real advantage in that department, Cosmo thought, although Kathy seemed to be holding her own.

“It’s a made-up fairytale,” Kathy said at last. “Why, it can go any way you want it to.”

“The lady’s got a point,” said Don.

Cosmo blinked. He knew how it sounded, knew that to the untrained ear, it certainly—there were overtones, or undertones, or just plain tones that vibrated with suggestion. Cosmo had grown up in Vaudeville and now he lived in Hollywood; these things happened every now and then. These things did not happen to Cosmo. He was good for a dance or a laugh, and nine times out of ten, that was enough for him, but he wasn’t exactly fending off amorous advances—not like Don, and probably not like Kathy, either.

Also, Don liked women. Don only liked women, as far as Cosmo knew, and they had lived out of each other’s pockets for years.

The fact that a late-night ménage à trois rendezvous was increasingly the only explanation that held water in his head—it said more about Cosmo’s fragile mental state than it did about Don and Kathy’s true motives, he decided.

Don and Kathy who were still sitting on the bed, waiting for some sort of response.

“I wouldn’t, uh,” Cosmo started, and then realized with a stab of panic that for once, he didn’t have a joke in the wings, waiting to go. “I wouldn’t know where to start,” he said.

“You said earlier today you might become a pirate,” Don offered. Kathy cuddled up close against his side, watching with bright, intent eyes. He wrapped an arm around her waist. “Enter pirate, stage left.”

“I said I was thinking about it,” said Cosmo, trying not to sound affected and missing by a mile. “A fella can think about all kinds of things he wouldn’t do.”

Case in point: Cosmo was not about to climb back into bed with them, no matter how cozy that bed was, no matter how warm and inviting and beautiful the two of them looked together.

His hands were starting to shake, he realized, and if Don saw that, and past experience was any judge, Cosmo might spend the night being cuddled for warmth again. What was Cosmo’s life? He didn’t go in for horoscopes, but maybe he should’ve, maybe that was the key to understanding the whole puzzle: Cosmo Brown, born under the one constellation that resembled clown shoes. He swallowed back a hysterical laugh and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“Why not?” said Kathy quietly.

Because he didn’t want to ruin his oldest friendship and his most promising new one, all in a single go. Because he hated rejection, and the thought of two no’s that close together made his head spin unpleasantly. Because then there would be no more innocent touches and smiles and nightcaps in Don and Kathy’s room. 

That wasn’t what she’d asked, though. Mentally, he shook himself.

“If everyone who thought about being a pirate became one, the whole US of A would fall apart,” Cosmo informed them. “Nobody would work, or pay taxes, or go to see films. Not to mention the national parrot shortage—just try to get ahold of birdseed anymore! There’d be a run on eyepatches and tri-corner hats, and the price of a simple pirate earring would shoot through the roof, in fact—”

“It’d cost a buccaneer,” Don filled in. He sounded almost sad, which was a mystery because that bit was evergreen.

“That’s right,” said Cosmo. He rocked back onto his heels, at a loss for a moment. He’d really been counting on that joke to clear the air.

“Cosmo,” said Kathy. “Do you want to go, or do you want to want to go?”

Cosmo struggled to make sense of that. He struggled to parse it in a way that worked outside his own feverish imagination. His entire mind came up short. That was where it got you, going on the road with only an eighth grade education, he thought. His was a cautionary tale. 

Maybe ninth grade was where they taught you how not to twist a moment in your head to the point where it really did seem like maybe Cosmo could’ve kissed either of them, could’ve kissed both of them, and it would’ve been fine, or even more than fine. Maybe it was that, and Dickens, and Geography; Cosmo still could not locate Siam on a map. Or Paris. Come to think of it, ménage à trois and rendezvous were the only French he knew besides bonjour. This time, he did laugh. It was that or scream.

“I am both too drunk, and not drunk enough for this talk,” he said, turning for the door that led directly back to his room.

“If you’d rather stay—” said Don.

“Of course I’d rather stay, Don,” Cosmo snapped, sharper than he’d meant to. “But leave me enough dignity to fill half a shotglass, at least.” Don and Kathy said nothing. When he got to the door, he sighed. “Sorry, that was—I’m sorry. See you at breakfast.” “Goodnight,” said Kathy.

Alone in his room, Cosmo closed the door and ran his hands through his hair. Pirates in Cinderella, he thought. Offers to stay, with his room not 30 paces away, at three hours past midnight. Maybe it would all make sense in the morning.

[honeygrahambitch]

Jimmy Price stormed into the lab and shut the door closed behind him, making both Brian and Beverly direct their attention to him.

He looked as if he had committed a crime and needed to make a confession.

"I'm going to share something with you but it can't leave this room."

Beverly lifted an eyebrow unimpressed by his theatrics and closed the magazine she was reading.

"Fine."

"You're the Chesapeake Ripper?" Brian asked more for his own amusement but his smile faded when Jimmy's scolding glare was directed towards him. "Alright, alright, go on."

"So you promise you won't tell."

"We pinky promise we won't tell." Brian emphasized.

"I went to grab my sandwich from the fridge. The one that my wife has packed for me. And, after I bit into it I realized it wasn't mine."

"Huh?"

"Not to speak poorly of my dear wife, but the sandwich I grabbed was so excellent that it couldn't have been made by her."

"Asshole." Beverly commented.

"Wait, whose sandwich did you get then?"

"Well, we can do some profiling work regarding that." Jimmy went on. "Caramelized duck. Blue cheese. Fig marmelade."

"You ate Will's sandwich." Beverly concluded instantly and grabbed her magazine.

"Wait, Will can cook like that?" Brian inquired confused.

"Idiot, Hannibal must have prepared it for Will." Jimmy explained as the dread returned to his facial expression. "Oh no...I ate Will's sandwich..."

"C'mon, you can tell Will you bit into it and realized it wasn't yours, he won't be mad about the fact that a bite is missing."

"The problem is...it was so good I couldn't stop."

Beverly closed her magazine again as she and Brian sighed.

"Listen, I will give Will my sandwich."

"Sounds like a fair trade, pal. A ham and cheese sandwich for a Michelin star one. You are lucky Will doesn't care about this kind of things."

Jimmy wanted to say something more but he stopped as Will entered the lab holding some papers, Hannibal right behind him.

Jimmy looked at his friends with the kind of look that says "What the fuck is HE doing here?"

Beverly and Brian had to make an inhumane effort not to laugh at the situation.

Jimmy felt the weight of his crime even harder now that Hannibal was in the room. The man had put all his love into that sandwich for Will and he had eaten it with no hesitation. And poor Will was probably starving.

"Jimmy? Did you-" Will started but Jimmy cut him off before he could finish.

"YES. Yes, it was me. I apologize, I just couldn't stop, it was amazing. It was the best sandwich I had in my life and I-"

"What are you talking about? I am asking you about Alison Brown's blood work." Will was grateful that for once he was not the weird one in the room.

"Yeah, she had diabetes. I ate the sandwich Dr. Lecter has made for you." He confessed again, giving more context.

"Did you enjoy it?" Hannibal asked.

"So much."

"I am pleased to hear that."

Hannibal had already killed Jimmy in three different ways in his head. He had eaten his Will's food. At the same time, he was pleased with the good review. And it gave him a good reason to take Will out for lunch. Will would not starve himself while he was there to help him with the case.

He made the quick decision not to end Jimmy's life that evening.

"You're fine. Hannibal is not the Chesapeake Ripper, you won't die." Will said as he returned his attention to the file he was holding. "Now, what was wrong with Allison's kidney?"

Hannibal eyed Will in a way that held more meaning than Will's colleagues would ever be able to understand. The fact that Will made that comment being completely aware he was the Ripper, made him smile.