#i am sorry for not interacting ! im sure there is good art and fics but i am dead

[imaginesbymk]

*that tiktok sound* hey!!….. hey…….. how y’all doing………..

i have a lot to say but lemme start off by saying i am SOOOOOooOoOoO sorry for ghosting this blog for a year. same thing’s been happening with wattpad. i ghosted 2 fics on there. and that includes my original dystopian scifi novel that has been in self development hell (as i like to call it)

my only explanation is that i grew unmotivated and grew out of writing fics. it came to a point where im just maladaptive daydreaming, the maladaptive daydreaming takes over and it doesnt let me actually create anything. the other reason is timing. i worked my ass off and finally graduated college with a 4.0 GPA, i did more commercial modelling and runway for a university fashion show so i can build my portfolio, i work full time and my pay is big, i made more art in my sketchbook... basically i just lived my life outside of tumblr.

another thing, the giant elephant in the room, i met cameron monaghan and morena baccarin at fanexpo canada! cameron went through my sketchbook, signed my jerome/jeremiah fanart, and asked me if i was an art student. after i told him i was rejected twice, he looked through every single page in my sketchbook and told me, "aw. well, fuck 'em!" that "it looks like [you] don't need art school" after all. he saw my reservoir dogs acrylic portraits of mr. pink and mr. white and told me he used to watch that film almost 600-700 times when he was 12. he then took a pic of my Grace Van Dien fanart (when i met her in 2022 at fanexpo canada) and he told me he's gonna send it to her. i had no idea they even knew each other.

i couldn't afford a table selfie+autograph combo at morena's autograph sessions so i only paid for a selfie. i said "oi" and "obrigada" to morena before and after taking a selfie with her and she said thank you back with a big smile :D so fanexpo was surreal.

i've always wanted to meet cameron monaghan and after years of writing fanfic for jerome and jeremiah valeska and other gotham fandom character imagines, i *finally* got to meet him.

ive been thinking about coming back and writing again, not just tumblr but on wattpad and getting serious with my original scifi dystopian novel. there's so much that i wanna do in life other than become financially stable and become a successful petite model until i no longer look the part. its hard for me to write because i get so easily stumped. even when i create some ambiance and rewatch the fandom to get inspired, it just drops again. writing is hard. that is why i have respect for my mutuals and my favourite famous authors that got me to write when i was 12. (lol) and anyways, i made new friends and im the happiest ive ever been romantically that i dont need to *imagine* anything with a fandom character, i do it for those who imagine it themselves!

im so sad to come back here and see that a few of my mutuals are inactive or have deactivated. and i became like them and abandoned my work. to be fair, my writing isn't that good, and it still isn't, and if i get something written and published here or on wattpad on a professional hardcopy of my book, i won't believe that it's my best work - and i aced my creative writing elective in my program, so that's a bummer.

i think meeting cameron is giving me a nudge to get back to writing. it feels weird wanting to write jerome/jeremiah fanfic after interacting with the actor himself for less than 5mins of his time, and that he's a human being that experiences human stuff like we all do, the only difference is that he's famous. im not sure if it healed my parasocial mindset with my fave celebs. i do want to take my time and write *something*. i am not doing the requests that have been in my drafts and inbox for a year (sorry :O) im just gonna take my time and readjust and get something down.

<3 mad love to my mutuals @myriadimagines @spacetalbot @arrogant-sonofa-bitch @littlemissvincentvega @emcon-imagines @writerdream22 @jjsmaybank20 @witchthewriter @musicallisto @locke-writes @zodiyack @mahvericks @karasong @moonlit-imagines @randomfandomimagine + many more moots

[janetbrown711]

Best Worst Mistake

Tang comes back from a college trip to discover his partner adopted a kid in his absence and also needs him to care for the kid the next day.

Only problem is that Tang has no idea what to do with him.

Psst-- this fic was inspired by @ChopshopT 's fan art on Twitter, so go give that some love <3

If you like this you may enjoy my Dadsy of Two au!

Ao3 Link

“Oh my great sage– you did not–”

“I-i didn’t mean to-! H-he just kinda– you know– showed up!”

“You don’t accidentally adopt a kid Pigsy!”

“It was late at night! Practically closing hours! I had to make sure no creep ran off with ‘im.”

“Okay, but keeping him?! This is– this is crazy! You said you never wanted kids!”

“I know, I know– not exactly like it was an option before– but–” Pigsy sighed.

“Look… I know it’s sudden– I know we’ve talked about it– but… you know I can’t turn him into the police– it’ll ruin us both,” Pigsy looked his shaggy haired partner in the eyes.

Tang sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose, lifting his glasses as he did.

“How old is he?” He asked.

Pigsy sighed. “I don’t know– I just know that he was practically starving when I found him– not to mention naked and caked in dirt.”

If it weren’t for the sleeping child in the booth, Tang would’ve exclaimed, “he was naked???? Why didn’t you call the authorities???? What about his parents??? Did you even look around???” but he refrained.

“Does he have a name? Parents? Anything???” Tang asked instead.

Pigsy shook his head. “I stayed open a whole two hours more seeing if any’d walk by, but it’s been a week now, and I’ve had to basically close the restaurant to make sure he doesn’t get into anything– which you already know we can’t really afford– but I did– and nobody walked by.”

“A guy leaves for one week for a campus excursion to Shaolin Temple, and everything changes,” Tang laughed in an attempt to release his nerves.

“Y-yeah, I know this ain’t exactly ideal– I just–” Pigsy looked at the kid. “I didn’t know what to do without you here,” The chef confessed, and Tang kissed his cheek, but Pigsy turned and held his hands.

“So… whatever you thinks right– we’ll do it. Anything– leaving him on a doorstep, turning him into the police– anything. It’s your call,” Pigsy looked the scholar straight in the eyes.

“Woah– I-i don’t know– I-i just– I mean I know what’s legal and this– uh– isn’t– but–” Tang looked again at the kid snoozing away, and for the first time Tang noticed he was using Pigsy’s chef’s shirt as a blanket and stars above if it wasn’t the cutest fucking thing Tang had ever seen ever–

“Does he… like you?” Tang asked.

“Well– I uh– I think so..? I dunno, he doesn’t talk much, though he draws things sometimes– and he’s actually kinda good for a kid his age– and he listens to me when I explain things and he seems to really like living in our place– though I guess he’ll need a bed of his own with you back– I just– I don’t know,” Pigsy blushed and looked away. “I’m asking you though because I know you said you didn’t want kids ever either, so…”

Right.

“I…” Tang pulled on his scarf. “I kinda lied– I’m sorry– I know I shouldn’t have, but when you were talking about your dad and stuff and how you thought you’d make a bad father I was just like ‘oh yeah totally I get that, no kids, I’d never want any either, haha’ and you know– being gay doesn’t help, and if that wasn’t enough, being a human/demon couple means adoption would be off the table even if we weren’t gay and so i just kinda accepted it because I knew it just wouldn’t be possible– but as a kid I thought it’d be nice to have kids because I do like them– but also as I’ve gotten older I’ve gotten like– really bad with them, and I like– don’t know how to interact with them or do with them but i mean–” Tang took a deep breath.

“I’m okay if you’re okay.”

“Wow– that’s… a lot to process, but… if you’re sure..?” Pigsy still looked at him for confirmation.

Tang nodded. “I am.”

A smile slowly grew on the chef’s face. “O-okay then! W-we– we have a kid then!”

“We have a kid then,” Tang laughed. Upon realizing how crazy he sounded, he started to ramble.

“We have a kid, Pigsy-! Oh stars above, what do you even do with those little things??? you feed them, teach them– Maybe I can pick up some books from the library– what about vaccines? We have no way of knowing his records– we don’t even know his birthday!” He shook Pigsy’s shoulders.

“Hm…” Pigsy tapped his chin, then shrugged. “Maybe we can just say it was a week ago when I found him– and he looks about two, don’t he?”

“I know nothing about kids, Pigsy– and neither do you but–” Tang sighed. “If we don’t want him nabbed overseas, this is probably what's best– and who knows, maybe he can find his real parents one day.”

“Yeah, that– uh– makes sense,” Pigsy nodded with slight hesitation.

“So… where’s he gonna sleep?” Tang then asked.

Pigsy thought for a moment. “Well I don’t think we can afford a bed for him yet– or even a mattress- and he is kind of accustomed to our bed so..?”

“...You like cuddling with him, don’t you?”

“Our heating sucks! I couldn’t leave ‘im on the couch– that’s not safe– and yeah, maybe missed cuddlin’ with you– it was a whole week Tang! A week!” Pigsy defended his honor.

Tang burst into laughter. “You looooove me.”

“Shut up,” Pigsy’s face was a deep shade of red as he playfully pushed his partner away.

“Aw, it’s okay Piggy, I missed you too,” Tang kissed his forehead.

“Yeah, yeah,” Pigsy waved him off, his face still red as he went and scooped up the kid, who wasn’t disturbed the slightest by the transfer.

He looked so little and scrawny in Pigsy’s arms– fragile too.

How on earth a kid that small could just wander around Megapolis all covered in dirt and mud– it didn’t make even the slightest bit of sense to Tang. He especially wondered how anyone would let him– whoever this kid’s parents were, he wasn’t sure the kid should ever meet them, even if the opportunity arises.

As he looked at him more, the more Tang realized Pigsy was a total natural– swaying ever so slightly and supporting all the right things to keep him comfortable and upright. Tang watched for a moment, just kind of smiling like an idiot before Pigsy realized he was staring and his face flushed.

“W-what?” He asked, shifting the kid.

“Oh, nothing,” Tang waved him off, grabbing his suitcase while being unable to stop smiling. “Does the kid have a name?”

Pigsy shrugged. “When I gave him crayons, he wrote ‘MK’ so–? I dunno, we’ll have to figure that out later.”

“I don’t know– I kinda like MK– I think it suits him,” Tang looked at the kid.

“I kinda think so too– it’s just that that’s not long enough to legally count, so… I’ll work something out– I know a guy in fake IDs, we’ll see,” Pigsy shrugged. “Could you get the alarm?”

Tang obliged, doing the closing duties for Pigsy when MK suddenly started to stir in Pigsy’s arms.

“Hey there sleepyhead,” Pigsy chuckled softly. “How’re you?”

The kid blinked and rubbed his eyes, before noticing Tang and gasping, quickly burying his head into Pigsy’s chest.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. That’s just Tang, remember? I talked about him a lot. He’s my partner, he’s gonna be living with us,” Pigsy rubbed the kids back.

Slowly but surely the kid turned his head back towards Tang, looking at him with big, dark brown eyes.

“Um… Hi, MK,” Tang waved awkwardly.

After a moment of intense study, the kid let one of his hands release Pigsy’s shirt and he waved to Tang with a smile.

Tang let out a surprised laugh and waved right back again.

“Looks like he likes you already,” Pigsy chuckled. “Usually he doesn’t even look at strangers.”

“Well that’s a relief,” Tang said. “Let’s get going to bed though– I’m exhausted from all the train rides.”

“Alright, let’s go,” Pigsy agreed, and after Tang turned off all the lights, the three of them headed up the stairs and into their apartment above the restaurant in all its one-bedroom glory.

Once upstairs, Tang got changed into his usual robe and silk pajamas, and Pigsy into his usual tank top and pajama bottoms– though Tang nearly lost it when he saw how Pigsy dressed MK for bed– literally just one of his old tank tops and wearing his socks– which were easily about three times too big.

“One of these days we’re gonna need actual money,” Tang joked as Pigsy put MK down on the bed. “He probably should have some real pajamas.”

“What? You don’t think it’s cute?” Pigsy half-joked.

“I never said that,” Tang rolled his eyes, taking off his glasses and setting them on his nightstand.

Just as he was going to turn his lamp off, MK started making noises, and pulling on Tang’s sleeve urgently.

“Yes, MK?” Tang asked.

“Oh– he– umm– is thinking you’ll sing to him,” Pigsy explained.

Tang gasped. “You sing to him?”

Pigsy blushed even deeper than before. “I– um– just a little– lullabies and all that when he wakes.”

“That’s the cutest thing I have ever heard,” Tang fawned at the blurry blob that was Pigsy. He then looked at MK– who was a little bit clearer. “I’m– uh– sorry, I can’t sing like Pigsy can. Go ask him.” He didn’t know if that was enough and so patted the kids head lightly twice before wanting to die of embarrassment.

The kid didn’t seem to care, as he just turned to look at Pigsy, who looked at Tang, his face still red as ever.

“You can’t laugh at me Tang.”

Tang let out an offended gasp. “Why would I ever laugh at you?”

“Because it feels stupid– I–” Pigsy sighed. “Just– pretend to sleep.”

“Alright, if it helps,” Tang teased him a little before turning the light off and laying down to ‘sleep’.

He was turned away on his side when Pigsy began humming a little tune for MK– the Eastern Cradle Song, if Tang remembered. It was incredibly soothing, and the kid was knocked out like a light in a matter of moments.

It reminded him how much he missed Pigsy’s singing– he hadn’t sang since– forever.

When it was finished, Pigsy layed down, cuddling with MK on the outside, so Tang rolled over and wrapped his arms around Pigsy.

“You sing like an angel,” He mumbled, pressing a tired kiss against his shoulders.

Pigsy laughed a little and cozied to his partner’s embrace, and the new family of three fell asleep.

.o0o.

Pigsy’s alarm had a terrible, terrible habit of going off when Tang didn’t want it to. Every morning, Pigsy blindly fumbled for the button, disturbing his most peaceful of slumber, until his precious, precious warmth was stolen from Tang.

“Pigggyyyyyy,” Tang pleaded with his lover when he could already shift to get up, even though he only hit the alarm five seconds ago.

“Tang, I gotta open shop– you know this. I know this,” Pigsy kissed his head.

“But it's so coooold without youuuuu,” Tang begged some more. If Tang was bothering to open his eyes (and also wasn’t blind as a bat without his glasses), he bet he’d be seeing Pigsy rolling his eyes.

“Pigsy sighed and hugged Tang, which the scholar mistook as a sign he had won and snuggled right back to him.

However this was not the case, as Pigsy kissed his head again and said, “Look, it’s gonna be my first time opening in a week– we need the money and you gotta study for finals so– can you watch the kid for me?”

Kid? What kid?

Tang opened his eyes, blinking at the sunlight before recognizing the blob on the other side of Pigsy and instantly recalling the previous day’s ventures.

“I-i– yeah, I guess that can be done,” Tang forced himself to sit up and stretch before he put on his glasses so he could finally see how relieved and thankful Pigsy looked.

“Great– so I’ll make a quick breakfast for you two, and then I’ll head on down to open,” Pigsy ruffled MK’s hair before getting up and getting dressed.

“Wait– you’re gonna head down? You’re–” Tang gasped dramatically– “You’re banishing me to this apartment?!”

“Tang– he’s just– This is a contained space. The public ain’t. And we need money, and besides, whenever you ‘study’ down there, all you do is give me googly eyes,” Pigsy pointed out, buttoning his chef’s shirt.

“Bah, you love my googly eyes,” Tang stated.

“Kid needs to be watched either way, Tang,” Pigsy snarked.

Tang looked at the kid, who to his surprise was looking right at him.

Tang gave a small wave and the kid waved back.

“Does he even talk?” Tang asked.

“Not much– yet,” Pigsy said, locating his socks and shoes and getting on the bed to put them on, to which MK got up and wrapped his arms around Pigsy’s neck, which made the demon laugh.

“He is a clinger though– hence why I don’t think it’s best to have him downstairs,” Pigsy patted MK’s arm with an affectionate smile.

“‘I don’t want kids’ my ass,” Tang thought with a tsk.

“Alright, alright, I hear you,” Tang said aloud before he cracked his back and started getting dressed while Pigsy went to make the three of them breakfast, MK still attached.

Once dressed and his hair thoroughly brushed and combed, Tang emerged from the bedroom to the wondrous sight of Pigsy’s rice noodles. If there was one thing Tang missed on his little excursion, it was his beloved Piggy’s cooking– not to mention free food.

Of course, Tang wasn’t “allowed” free food during business hours, but Tang “somehow” managed most days– and maybe he’d stop by for lunch or dinner because if there was one other thing Tang missed, it was his teasing.

Tang picked up his chopsticks and the moment noodles hit his tongue, he practically melted into goo.

“Pigsy, your food is soooooooo good,” He exalted.

“Wow, you really think so? Maybe I should be a chef,” Pigsy grinned, but Tang was too in heaven to give any kind of retort.

“Alright, well it’s roughly–” Pigsy looked at the clock and jumped, “ – 8:15, so I gotta get going.”

The chef then tried to get MK off of him, but once the small child realized what he was doing, he seemed to gain a death grip that Pigsy attempted and failed to loosen until Tang got involved and practically peeled him off of Pigsy’s back.

Naturally, this made MK start crying.

“Hey, hey, hey– I’ll be back I promise, I just gotta work and make money so we can get you real clothes more than the two outfits I found in a donation bin, alright?” Pigsy tried to assure MK in Tang’s arms, but from a distance so the kid didn’t try to latch on again. It didn’t really work, and Pigsy chewed his lip frantically as he tried to think.

Eventually he came up with an idea and hung his head a little.

“What? What’s the matter?” Tang asked, attempting to bounce MK but failing pretty miserably.

“Pretend you’re not listening,” Pigsy ordered, and Tang realized he was going to sing again.

“Do my sleepy words mean nothing to you?” Tang sighed dramatically before Pigsy gave him a look and so Tang obeyed, looking away (because his hands were full– what exactly Pigsy expected, Tang didn’t know but he was fine with it so whatever).

He then started singing the Song of the Sunshine, which he’d clearly sung with MK before because of just how strong and positive his reaction was. Most importantly, it got him to stop crying, and after a brief hug and a passing of tissue, the tears stopped entirely.

Pigsy was about to head out, though right as he touched the doorknob, he snapped and turned back to Tang.

“I have a library book on the coffee table about kids his age you can read when he’s napping and/or you finish studying– oh by the way, he naps around one and usually sleeps for an hour but after that he’s hungry but lunch is before nap time at noon, so just give him some of the peach snacks I have in the cupboard– he really likes those– and if there’s an emergency you can just call– oh and also I’ll make lunch and dinner downstairs too, so don’t forget,” Pigsy listed off.

“Wow, you’re really treating us,” Tang smiled smugly.

“Consider it wages for babysitting or whatever,” Pigsy pushed him jokingly, before looking at MK who was looking at him with big puppy dog eyes.

With a sigh, Pigsy hugged both Tang and MK, giving the former a kiss on the cheek, and MK a ruffling of his hair.

“I’ll see you soon, alright?” He looked at MK. MK looked up at Tang, then at Pigsy, then at Tang again before nodding.

“Alright. See you soon,” Pigsy patted the kids back before he really had to go, and so scrambled down the stairs.

And then it was just the two of them.

Tang’s first move was setting the kid down– since his pathetic nerdy noodle arms were not meant for carrying a (maybe???) two-year-old for long lengths. When he did the kid looked up at him vacantly, making Tang wonder if there was even a thought behind those eyes.

“So…” Tang looked around the apartment, bouncing on his heels and snapping while he tried to think of something to do. The kid certainly wasn’t any help, as he just continued to stare.

“Guess we should get you dressed then, no?” Tang decided, going into their bedroom and finding the two outfits Pigsy mentioned. MK was the one clearly calling the shots there though, selecting the blue shirt and overalls with a monkey on the pocket. Tang was glad it didn’t turn into a whole thing like he knew kids could do. Though there was a bit where it seemed like MK was going to bite his hand off when Tang tried to take his bandana, so he steered very clear of that.

After that though another big question mark hung in the air. Objectively, Tang knew he had to study, but also it didn’t seem like there was much to do with the kid in the meantime.

“Well… um… soooo… do you… like..?” Tang looked around for something– anything a kid would like, but their TV was basically useless, the books were a billion years more advanced than MK could possibly hope to understand, the boxes were too small, and they didn’t have toys– not by a long shot.

MK did seem to have a thought though, as he walked out of the bedroom and towards a countertop where a stack of legal papers were and–

Oh! Pigsy had a box of crayons.

“You want to color?” Tang asked. MK nodded and reached up enthusiastically. Tang grabbed a solid stack of the legal documents, grabbed the crayons and set them on the coffee table so the kid could actually draw on a hard surface.

To his surprise, the kid got to work straight away, and while Tang had literally no point of comparison, he seemed to be pretty good for a kid his age– whatever that was.

Tang left briefly to grab his laptop and books he needed, and when he returned the kid ran up and showed him his work. From what Tang could tell it looked like some trees, though they could’ve been giraffes, the sun in the corner, and right in the middle was a big brown swirl and a waterfall? Unless that was supposed to be the sky, and that swirl was a snake?

“Nice, MK,” Tang would’ve given a thumbs up but his arms were full. He carried his things past the toddler, who kept trying to show him the art.

“Yes, yes, MK it’s very nice, I love the trees– er– sky? –er– the sun especially,” Tang wasn’t sure what the right answer was, especially as MK had a little frown with each attempt, though seemed satisfied at the “sun” compliment and went back to his crayons.

…Tang didn’t understand kids.

But it was fine, this was fine. He had… time. Forced time, but this was just day one– he was crazy– was he seriously thinking a toddler was judging him??? Maybe Tang ought to see a therapist.

Tang took a deep breath to force himself to relax before he cracked open his book and laptop and started “studying” for his economics final.

Pigsy had always believed in Tang and his ability to be smart and know things, but really, Tang was a fraud who was just trying to delay the inevitable that when he finally got his PHD he wouldn’t find a job and would remain a financial burden to Pigsy– and now MK– till the end of his days, and he’d just be a burden like his parents always believed.

With a grumble, he started reading.

“The price, or market, system is the predominant allocation mechanism in most industrial societies today because–”

A piece of paper was slapped atop Tang’s book, making him jump.

“You– um– draw fast, don’t you MK?” Tang immediately set the paper aside, but MK huffed and put it back over his book.

“Look, how’s about you draw five drawings while I study and then you can show me then, hm?” Tang proposed, but the boy just stared vacantly.

“Right. You don’t know numbers,” Tang rubbed his forehead, before looking at the drawing.

This one was slightly more decipherable than the previous, as there was a bunch of pink scribbles roughly in the shape of Pigsy, and— what appeared to be a monkey on his shoulders? It was hard to tell, since it was red and also very crude. There was also another figure, bright yellow but it was hard to tell if that was supposed to be a sunbeam or tree or heck– even Tang. Again there was a waterfall (?) and some maybe-rocks maybe-hedgehogs???

“Is this supposed to be Pigsy?” Tang asked, pointing to the pink scribes. MK nodded.

“Aw, that’s sweet; I’m sure he’ll love it,” Tang smiled and set it down, though that made MK upset, as he picked it up and put it over his book again.

Tang groaned. “Kid, you’re really cute and all, but I need to study otherwise I will be failing everyone I know. Please just– go back to drawing?” Tang pleaded but the kid didn’t budge.

“Look– I–” Tang rolled his head back. “I don’t know what this drawing’s of. I’m sorry.”

MK took his paper back before going to the table and drawing more.

Tang sighed a breath of relief before going back to his textbook.

“–it is generally the most efficient. Yet not all exchanges take place in a market system. Many medical services–”

Tang was going to gouge his eyes out if he had to read any more of that money mumbo jumbo and so put it back in his back and swapped it out for his Taosim and Buddhism: Face to Face textbook and tried reading that for all of five seconds, before MK slapped the paper down.

The only thing that changed really was that the yellow figure was very clearly not Tang anymore and seemed to have some kind of flowers around him? Her? Them? and also adding a mountain in the background. The creature on Pigsy’s shoulder also had added detail– most importantly what looked like a bandana.

“And is that supposed to be you?” Tang pointed to the red– um… monkey? Spider? Cat?

MK nodded and smiled, jumping on the couch and pointing to the mountains and the yellow figure.

“Yes, yes, you’ve certainly improved your background work here,” Tang remarked. “But who is this person? Is that your mother or father?”

MK shook his head.

Somehow the figure not being one of his parents made it stranger– especially because MK deemed them so important he added more detail.

“Well they’re very lovely either way,” Tang patted his head and MK gave him a big toothy grin– which surprised the scholar.

“Yes, yes– well then, I’ll give this back to you so you can give it to Pigsy at lunch–” He said, handing him back the drawing– “and then I will get back to studying.”

MK was about to get off the couch when he suddenly gasped and pointed urgently to a picture in his textbook.

Tang stared at it and blinked. “That’s the Queen Mother of the West– she’s the wife to the jade emperor.”

At that MK nodded and started trying to turn pages in the book, which Tang tried to stop, but soon realized all that would do was rip the 5541.52 yuan book and so let him have his way. The kid flipped through page after page, until another picture showed up and he pointed to it eagerly.

“Oh, that’s the Bodhisattva Guanyin– she’s a figure of mercy and forgiveness and second beginnings,” Tang explained. Again MK flipped until another photo showed up and Tang realized he was curious about who all the people were.

“That’s Prince Nezha– he killed a dragon when he was young, and because of that his own father disowned him and he died–” Tang told and MK gasped.

“I-it’s okay though! He came back and got his revenge, though remains permanently twelve– I think,” Tang tried to recall before MK flipped pages again, and this time tapped it repeatedly to show his overwhelming excitement.

“Ahhh, I see you’ve taken an interest in Sun Wukong, the Monkey King, hm?” Tang chuckled and MK nodded excitedly.

“I see you have good taste, because he’s probably the most interesting figure in this whole book,” Tang joked. “He’s from a story called Journey to the West where he helps guide a monk to deliver scriptures to the Buddha and goes through personal trials until he reaches enlightenment– though not before causing some serious havoc in heaven.”

MK laughed– he laughed– and Tang felt his heart melt a little before MK started trying to get his head under his arm. Tang was confused, until he realized he wanted to sit in his lap to see the pictures better, and so Tang let him.

“See this one?” Tang pointed to a picture on the top left. “That depicts when he fought off the entire heavenly army after he was kicked out for stealing their wine, pills, and peaches.”

“And this one here–” he pointed below– “that’s when he got trapped under the Mountain of Phases after Buddha successfully tricked him.”

MK tilted his head curiously, tracing it with his finger before looking back up at Tang.

“Yes, yes, a little harsh, but he goes through worse punishments later, as before he was ready to go on the journey with the monk Tang Sanzang, he was given a circlet that would hurt him if he disobeyed,” Tang expanded, turning the page to reveal such an image, which made MK gasp and whimper.

“Yeah, it looks like it hurts a lot, doesn't it?” Tang said, examining the picture closer. It was weird– he hadn’t ever thought about the thing that closely before, but looking back, it was pretty torturous.

“It’s okay though– Monkey King always got back on his feet and got enlightenment like he always wanted, isn’t that nice?” Tang asked, and MK slowly nodded, though his lower lip trembled a bit.

“Aww, it’s okay MK,” Tang patted his shoulder, which MK took as an invitation to hug the scholar, which while it surprised him, he wasn’t against it.

“Here– how’s about I teach you about some of the happier parts of Sun Wukong’s life, hm? Like when he fought the permanent twelve-year-old Prince Nezha? Or when he had a cool shapeshifter duel with Er Lang Shen and his dog? Or– oh! What about when he fought off the Monstrous King of Havoc and freed all of the other monkeys on Flower Fruit Mountain from being eaten or enslaved?” Tang proposed, which instantly put MK in better spirits.

And so Tang started telling him tales, and MK slowly got off and started drawing the scenes Tang described, which was pretty impressive since sometimes Tang could actually see what was going on, which was nice. Plus, it was fun to see him so engaged in his stories.

It was… strange, watching this boy who had been nothing but a confusing vessel become so passionate and alive and giggly as Tang talked. Sometimes Tang actually thought he’d respond with words, but his laughs and nods were good enough for him.

Tang talked and MK colored for hours and hours and hours on end, until the landline rang to life, and Tang left MK to draw Er Lang Shen and his dog while he answered.

“Zhu residence, this is Tang.”

“TANG! Have you looked at the time??? The kid’s s’posed to be havin’ lunch by now!” Pigsy scolded on the other side.

“Oh wow– has it really been that long?” Tang laughed, seeing the clock said 12:15.

“Uh– yeah! Geez– does the kid’s schedule not even matter to you?” Pigsy griped.

“O-of course! It’s just– we were getting so caught up in drawing and The Monkey King– it really is something–”

“I thought you were supposed to be studying,” Pigsy pointed out.

“Yeaaahhh, well a little break never hurt anyone,” Tang totally glossed over the fact he never really started in the first place. There was a bit of pause before Pigsy spoke again.

“So uh– you and the kid been bonding?” Pigsy asked, his tone far less harsh now.

“I– um–” Tang looked over his shoulder at MK, who gave him a big flashy grin. “We have.”

“That’s– That’s really good, Tang, I’m glad,” His partner praised. “I thought’d take the kid weeks to warm up to you based on how he is with other strangers– this is good though.”

“And you left me up here with him alone anyways?” Tang pointed out jovially.

“I am literally just two stories down, Tang.”

“Yeah, yeah– let me do the teasing sometimes.”

Pigsy laughed on the other side. “Alright, alright– just get you and MK down here or else I’ll still charge you for your lo mein,”

“Alright, alright, I’ll get him there,” Tang rolled his eyes. “Love you, Piggy.”

“Love you too, Tangy. But seriously– get your ass down here.”

“I will. Bye.”

“Bye.”

And with that, Pigsy hung up.

“Alright MK, are you ready to see Pigsy again?” Tang hung up the phone too.

“Dadsy!” MK cheered, drawing in hand that he quickly showed Tang.

“Woah– Dad-sy?” Tang fawned over that so much did didn’t notice MK holding out the picture for him to take.

“Mhm!” MK nodded, shoving the picture in Tang’s face since he clearly wasn’t looking down enough.

The drawing wasn’t the one from earlier– no, this one was probably the clearest of any. On the right was clearly Pigsy, looking much better than his scribbled counterpart, and also very clearly holding MK, who was drawn with proper yellow and brown, with red saved for the bandana. And to the left was–

Him.

He could tell too, because the stick figure was wearing his robe and had huge messy circles around the eyes to be glasses, plus he was wearing a biiiiiiiiig old scarf. He was smiling, Pigsy was smiling, and MK was smiling too. There was also a rainbow, and a bowl of what Tang hoped were noodles and not worms, as well as MK written in the corner in big shaky letters.

“Oh MK– is this us?” Tang took it from his hands and felt himself start to tear up a little.

MK nodded excitedly.

“Dadsy an’ Tang!” He bounced on heels and flapped his hands.

Okay now Tang was definitely crying, and he quickly knelt and gave MK a hug.

“You know, I don’t meet a lot of kids, but you’re easily the coolest one out there, MK,” Tang complimented, giving him a good squeeze.

MK laughed and hugged him too.

“Now c’mon– I bet you’re starving, and I know I could certainly go for some noodles right about now,” Tang booped his nose before standing, at which MK did grabby hands upward. Tang chuckled and handed him back his drawing before picking him up.

“Alright, let’s go give your Dadsy a visit,” Tang was loving the nickname already and was more than certain Pigsy would just about die of cuteness when he heard it too– especially with how happy it made MK to hear it repeated back.

It was strange how much Tang felt he’d changed in a day, but hey, maybe that was just how parenting was–

God– it felt weird, to say it, but Tang was a parent now– Pigsy too. Of course, Tang still had a PhD to obtain, and Pigsy a restaurant to run, but together they were a team and with MK, they might even be a family.

Wow that was a lot to think.

But still, it brought as much of a smile to his face as it did anxiety, and if that wasn’t parenting, Tang didn’t know what was.

[cubedmango]

hi!! i just wanted to let you know that i started reading cherry magic in july last year after seeing the anime announced on toyota-sensei's twitter! i couldn't even rlly translate the announcement myself without the help of google translate LMAO but her illustration of them looked so sweet i had to snoop around. more than half a year later. i am no longer normal and my brain is fully rotted over and i think of those two nearly every waking moment!! your art, along with so many others feeds me and your translations are So Appreciated thank you for doing gods work. i usually don't get super involved in fandom or w/e other than consuming fanart or fics so the fact i find myself actually drawing them is so new to me...idk cherry magic really is so refreshing and it's just nice as an adult to see a mature relationship between two working adults. there are callbacks to childhood or childlike behaviors or interests sprinkled throughout the manga's dialogue and i always appreciated how they weren't seen as embarrassing or immature to embrace or learn from as an adult, but encouraged or seen as a valuable part of balancing work, life, and love. idk it's def one of the more subtle and less expanded upon parts of it but i love how adachi's and kurosawa's love of manga, though seen as a children's activity (from how kurosawa thought people saw it) was actually one of their first mutual hobbies. it's also interesting to see how many things about kurosawa's psyche are remnants of ideas probably for a lack of better wording, were taught to him from an early age. his self-image, how he tries to uphold certain societal standards, etc etc. im glad he found refuge in adachi that way. im sorry for rambling for so long but i've just been thinking about these two so much ldks

anon pls u never have to apologize for rambling abt my fav guys of all time, u should actually talk w me about them more i want to hear ur thoughts !! the eng speaking fandom isnt that big (or at least i dont get to interact w a lot of ppl personally) but its fun making art and doing the translations for my blorbos so im happy other ppl enjoy it too 🥺

and yess everything u said abt the childlike/immature stuff krdc enjoy like the fact that their interest in manga and stuff is never made fun of or anything (which would be ironic anyway since theyre In a manga themselves fdkjskf) but actually one of the things that gets them closer is So good augh?? (also spoilers for the radio drama if u havent seen it yet, but to me one of the best changes they made was changing the port scenes setting to an anime con instead like Yeah!! theyre little nerd guys of course theyd attend a con!!!! that plus how they both like watching animated movies and playing games too like its a very specific thing to Me but that relatability w stuff i do myself makes them both feel a lot more human? if that makes sense)

also w kurosawas whole deal its Definitely a longterm thing hes had for a while, and in canon its mostly been his friendships/relationships that affected him (probs the most clear in ch45 my beloved) but from the way the meeting w his parents went theres for sure a lot of parental/family pressure involved too?? this is going into hc territory but i have like a whole Thing brewing in my head about kurosawas and maris relations w their parents and how that affected their self image and all growing up too and i rlly wanna make stuff for it someday (idk if anyone would be interested but id probably do it regardless so fkdjksjfk)

[popcornforone]

The Interview

Part of the Attending Mr York Fan Fic Series

Master list

I just couldn’t put the Dave I created down. You got the last chapter in April of the original story but I actually finished writing it in March, & I missed him & the little world I created for them. So here I am back with my Stabby… ready for more fun.

Synopsis: You’ve applied for a housekeeper & Nanny job that you know you won’t get, but the perks & money were to tempting to not go for. So your shocked when your asked to come & be interviewed at the York residence, & meet the family who’s needs you will be attending.

Word count: 3200

Warnings: this is tame for me & Dave. Swearing & alcohol, pining, imagining what Dave might do to you, descriptions of oral sex are mentioned, along with blood, cuts, injuries & sick.This is the first time you come across Dave so it’s rather soft. However the rest of the series won’t be & as always DAVE YORK COMES WITH HIS OWN WARNING!

Thanks as always for the read people, all feedback is always welcome

Job interviews are never the easiest thing in the world, for a normal job. You never know if the vibe is going to click & if you will just get on, & be the person they are looking for. However this interview is one that you don’t think you will get, not in 100 years. You’re not really qualified for it but the perks that come with the job are most intriguing & you knew it was too good an opportunity to miss out on applying for. You were shocked when you got a phone call from them to say they wanted to speak to you. Obviously The Yorks have seen a quality in your cv that they think will suit this role.

Finding The York residency is easy. Considering what they want & how on the application they have described their lives, you thought they would have a much grander house in a much more affluent area. But here you are on a Wednesday afternoon, pulling up across their drive looking at this family home, which doesn’t look like it’s rather special but does seem homely from the outside. You make sure your hair is okay & that your outfit isn’t creased. You’ve worn a day dress but one that’s easy to move about in, if they tell you to go & interact with their kids. After all this is a job for a Nanny & House Keeper, surly whatever kids they have, must like you if your to get the job, not that you think you stand any chance of getting it at all.

You hear the doorbell echo across the house as you press it & wait patiently for someone to greet you, admiring the pot plants by the path. The front door opens & you are greeted by name “welcome, im Carol, we spoke on the phone last week, thank you for coming to listen to us” she says as she welcomes you in & you shake her hand. “My husband is just finishing a phone call but he will join us shortly, come with me to the kitchen, would you like water, tea or coffee?” Mrs York asks ushering you in & taking your coat. The house is homely but there’s no art on the wall, everything is very clean & white & in its right place. Clearly Mrs York likes this, it’s all very to the point & perfect. Until you get to the kitchen.

It’s a grand kitchen. A walk in pantry, an island counter with low lights hanging down, perfect for entertaining, a little kids play area a few steps down, a sofa & a round table which you can tell has been cleaned for this chat today. It’s too clean. This is clearly where their life happens & you suddenly feel very at home in this room. This is where memories are made for the Yorks. You watch as Carol makes you coffee & just have a nice chat about your drive & the weekend thats been & the next one to come.

“Sorry darling, you know how Daniels gets in the phone” a voice bellows from behind you which came from nowhere. It’s deep & sharp & you turn around to introduce yourself & shake his hand, but instead you almost drop your coffee cup. You’re frozen to the spot. You don’t believe in love at first sight, but you now think lust at first touch might be true. Large & broad, towering above you. His eyes dancing across you looking for any hit of weakness & vulnerability. His light blue shirt & dark pants are crisp, that belt buckle is polished & shoes so shiny you could see your face in them. Those eyes that are giving you the once over, are dark pools of delight. Rich caramels, taking in every inch of his prospective house keeper. Clean shaven as his large hand goes around his neck into this thick dark short hair. Those lips probably smile & seduce but the sternness in his face makes you think they haven’t smiled in a while. He has a mysterious aura around him, one of danger & to not get too close. But you can’t help it, the second his hand firmly shakes yours, you are his. It doesn’t matter his wife is standing next to you answering him back, you’re transfixed on her husband & you need to snap out of the trance quickly. “I’m Mr York… David York”

The next few minutes are a blur, watching this powerful man, who has somehow in all of 5 words, got all the power in the world over you. You’d do anything for this man, & you have only met him for a few minutes. The way he hold his mug, that chiseled jaw extending, the way he slurps his coffee. Seeing his lips kiss his wife’s cheek, you feel jealous. & that’s what makes you snap out of your trance, that & Carols voice asking you “come sit down deary, we can then go though your cv together.” You remember where you are & you join Mr & Mrs York at the circular table to discuss why you are even a candidates for this job. This does mean facing David & making eye contract as you answer his questions. Maybe you can just focus on Carol, not that you think you can actually concentrate on anything at all.

You take your seat ready for their questions. You look nervous but you can easily pass it on for interview nerves, not the fact that the man sitting opposite you is stunningly handsome & that you are wondering how good his plump lips would feel on your pussy, lapping away at your clit as you beg him for more. You need to remember why you are here, for an interview, not to gawp at your possible employer.

“So…” Carols starts with some pretty mundane questions about your back ground & education, all the old chestnuts from a classic interview. You answer them well & you see David roll his eyes a little at them. At question 5 he interjects.

“Why apply for this role?” He asks “clearly your into art, graphics & design, your cv screams it, why apply to be a house keeper?” He has a very good point & it throws you a little bit, but you have a prepared answer which probably isn’t one that they will appreciate but is honest.

“The job said beck & call but free time & support whenever it’s needed. Most normal jobs want a 8:30 to 6 that I apply for. Once you add a commute & eating in, that’s no home time. Here you have said weekends & yea there are early starts but you said support in whatever else I need. I’m sure that there will be days you just need me to pick your kids up & do dinner & some days when you need me to stay over, but I’m sure that when I’m not needed I would have the time to create some art, get my creative juices flowing again. I also think it would be good for your kids if you allowed them, to join me working on my art. A good creative outlet from them, let them find another type of inspiration.” David looks inquisitively at you looking you up & down “I know that wasn’t the answer you wanted, but I’m honest & im here to support you. I want to make sure that when I’m here, all you need to stress about is what’s going on in your own mind, not a grocery run or cooking pasta or running errands. I want you to stress about just your work & normal life like the rest of the world does” that’s when you see a small smirk across David’s face as you finish this statement with “I’m here for all your needs & to attend to you all”. His eyes dart across you not impressed just by your words but by your attitude & willingness.

“Art?” Carol chirps up before he can respond, he mouth & sentence hanging in mid air before he could even get the words out “that would be good for the kids for sure” she then talks about how she like minimal art but can’t find the right thing for the house to put up. A few more mundane questions happen before David then asks “Do you have first aid or life saving courses under your belt? Obviously with 2 small girls who you will meet another day, if we think you’re suitable, bumps & bruises happen all the time. You’re okay with looking after them if they cut themselves? you’re not going to freak out at a bit of sick or blood?” David is asking this because it’s part of the interview, but he knows it’s likely at some point you will find out what he does for a living. He’s an assassin, one of the best in the world, & he knows there maybe a day soon when he needs your help to stitch him up or take him to hospital.

“Yes I can do that, I have a friend who has fits, we as a group all make sure we stay up to date with as much as we can. I’m happy to take more courses if you need me too.” Is your reply. Firm & confident. You know it’s been a while since you’ve done a course in this but you still know what to do. Nothing your innocent king think, that an ice pack or a plaster can’t solve.

The interview starts to draw to a close & they start talking to you about your life in general. “Obviously there maybe a few days when we need you to stay over if you get this job to take the girls to nursery & school early if were not both back, or if you’ve stayed late” Carol implys “would that be okay? Are you comfortable with that? We have Cctv in every room so you will always be safe here without us”

“Yes Mrs York” your mind wonders why they have cctv but that’s a question for another day, not one when your trying to get a job “would my boyfriend be able to stay over, if I needed him too? It wouldn’t be something I would do until we were all completely comfortable with each other & you trust me & id let you meet him first” David raises an eyebrow when the word boyfriend is brought up “how serious is your boyfriend?” He asks “David!” Carol scoffs & playfully hits him “that’s none of your business” she say before he reply “if he’s a serious man in her life, I see there being no problem, stability means loyalty & trust, but if he’s just a fuck buddy then that raises more questions for me” you look a bit shocked. You’ve never been to an interview before where the interviewer has sworn let alone use the word fuck. He clearly is testing you to get a reaction from you. “I’ve been with him 18months” you reply calmly like you have done every question. “Harry & I have talked about moving in together soon, so that’s how loyal I am” David nods “well answered” he states writing the word not available on his own notes, which you don’t see.

The final question they ask you is if you have any questions for them at this stage. They have been clear throughout the interview that there would be a second interview with the girls on Sunday, if today went well to see how you get on with them & they have been very frank about what they expect from you. You sit there for a second & then ask something bold, which might mean you don’t get a call back for another day. “why interview me? You said yourself I’m not a house keeper or have nanny experience, why ask me?” Carol has a small chuckle & goes to answer but David buts in.

“We’ve interviewed 4 other people before you, all Nanny’s or house keeper, but none had any idea of what the real world is. We want our kids to have some of that in their lives & your CV was the next one on the pile. You have life experience & from what you’ve told us about you today, you have had some struggles in the past & you just bring across this soothing calm approach now we’ve met you, don’t you agree darling?” He asks his wife stroking her hand looking lovingly at her “yes dear” she says “we wanted to see what the rest of the world offered, not just those that fall into that bracket” you all just nod in agreement with each other. There is a very strong vibe & connection here & you think that maybe you do stand a chance, just as long as you connect with those girls. Or maybe you are just falling deeper for the talk dark & handsome man sitting opposite you. Each time those large rich brown eyes glance at you, you feel seen.

The Yorks then finish up & David looks at his phone. Carol shakes your hand & asks if you’re free at 3pm on Sunday to meet the girls & have early dinner with them, which you accept. You have a second interview in the bag. David nods. “I’ll walk her out honey, I need to make my way to the actual office” David says & you thank Carol, grab your coat & have David walk you out of the house. His hand pushes you forward touching the lower of your back. Not to low but enough to make you blush, but enough that to yourself it shows that this man has an effect on you. Thank god you are walking in front of him & he can’t see the true effect he has on you.

“I just want you to know…” David says as he locks the front door behind him & stands next to his car “that we’ve been looking for a house keeper for a while & a nanny more recently. Carol has hired some but most of them just aren’t what they say they are at the interview. You on the other hand, there’s something about you. Your normal & I think you will bring stability to our house & help influence our kids as they grow as well. I don’t tend to trust people, my line of work doesn’t allow me to, but there’s something I can see in you, that makes me know that I can trust you with my families & my own life.” He states.

“Wow Mr York” you’re a little stunned at that revelation “that means something that you’ve picked that up so quickly, thank you”

“Please it’s David, I actually prefer Dave but David or Mr York is fine” he says shuffling a bit. “I’m good at picking up on peoples strengths & weaknesses it’s part of the job I do, & from the last hour, the only weakness I see in you, is that you care too much & that’s what I need for my family” you blush as he says these words to you. No one’s ever said that a weakness of yours is what they need. This desirable man has a way of making you feel so much in so few words. He’s very to the point & direct. You can tell he’s a man who gets what he wants, no matter what.

A few awkward moments of silence happen between you before you both snap out of it. Daves been thinking about how well you’re going to look after his family. He finds you attractive & wonders how loyal & good your boyfriend really is to you & if he might, one day, be needed to pick up your emotional pieces should it all go wrong with him. “I should really get going now Mr York & you said you needed to get to your own office, so please don’t let me keep you” you offer you hand which he firmly shakes & through that connection of his large palm on your dainty hand, a small soft smile comes from his dark brown eyes. “Thank you for the opportunity” you say “ooh no the pleasure is all mine, sweetheart” he responds. That cute nickname makes you smile which he can see as bright as the sun. “I’m already looking forward to seeing you meet the girls on Sunday, im sure you will be the most attentive person we’ve had so far, I can just feel it in my bones.” He says, hands parting & you both sigh & get in your separate cars. You head home & Dave heads to the office.

1 week, later the phone rings while your out for lunch with friends. “Sorry guys, be back in 3minutes” you leave them & head to the bathroom of the cafe to take the call.

“Hello”

“Ahh it’s Mr York”

“Mr York… hi how are you?” Just his voice down the phone has you feeling flush & warm, how can he do that.

“I’m even better now, I’ve just hired a new house keeper”

Your face drops down the phone.

“It’s you”

“What!?” You let out an over the top excited screech

“All the girls have talked about since Sunday, has been making art & playing with you & your pasta was half decent on Sunday night, so what do you say… are you free tonight to come & see us to sign & be our house keeper & nanny & discus when you will start?” He asks, he himself is also excited to have you work for him. He’s not lying when he says how excited the girls have been, but he is drawn to you & he can’t explain why.

“Yes Mr York, what time?” You just about get the word out.

“7pm, don’t worry it’s Wednesday, I cook on Wednesdays, you’ll always have that night off from cooking” he laughs a little down the phone.

“Sounds perfect Mr York, I will see you tonight”

Once the call is over, you rush back to your friends & tell them you got the job. Suddenly the orange juices you were all having are now Buck’s Fizz as your friends celebrate your new job with you. “To attending the needs of the Yorks” you toast & your friends cheer. You have no idea exactly what needs you are about to attend, ignorance for now is completely bliss & will remain that way for a little while.

[inun4ki]

Get to Know Me !

Name: Taro ! I've had many pennames over the years though, oh jesus too many.

Pronouns: They/Them, but I don't really care what you use.

Preference of communication: I use a combination of disco & tumblr IMs. I don't actually have a preference between the two and, as a general rule, I don't particularly like giving out my disco for any reason. I'm a very private person and I don't like the idea of being constantly available to everyone 1000% of the time - this extends to both family and my closest friends. It's not personal by any means, it's just. I know how I am ( very forgetful + problems with ADHD + extremely shy & awkward + also something of a chronic oversharer ), so I figure it's probably best for me to stay in my own lane and not bother too many people - even though there are times I desperately want to talk someone's ear off haha As an aside, I do also roleplay on disco and am usually more than happy to make a server and all that stuff.

Name of muse: Shikabane Kaede

Experience/how long (months/years?): It's been 17-18 years altogether I think for roleplay, but I've been writing in general since kindergarten. For a time, I went to art school ( and college ) for creative writing and got straight A's, which I find hilarious because I have zero technical knowledge. You could ask me what something is for sure and I'll look at you like you have 2 heads, I'm sorry haha That being said, I got my start in the W.arrior cats fandom, was there a couple years before moving onto N.aruto, then D.MC, started to really create my own worlds and such, before I found tumblr. Kind of been here ever since, bouncing around a couple of different fandoms ( chiefly D.MC & M.HA, and now J.JK ! ) as well as fandomless parts of the community.

Best experience: I've met so many wonderful people since I started roleplaying on tumblr ! I met possibly the best friends I'll ever have on hellsite, which is honestly why I keep coming back. I recently came back after a long stint away that I truly believed would be permanent, but I hit a massive wall in my fics and decided to come back, see if that got me back on the horse. It has, just not for fic writing r.i.p. I've been having a good time since I got back, so here's to more good experiences and memories !

RP pet peeves/dealbreakers: I don't have too many, honestly. I'm very flexible and tend to go with the flow on most things. Anything I don't want to see or interact with is automatically filtered out or blacklisted, so I'm cool as a cucumber.

Muse preference (fluff, angst or smut?): I torture Kaede for fun, so as you might expect, I really like angst. In fact, I probably like angst more than romance, but when you throw the two together? Get outta here, gimme all of it ! But more than anything, I like to experiment with different subject matter - sometimes, the darker the better - themes and genres. Kaede is ordinarily a very difficult character to get along with, which ironically makes him very well suited to experimentation ( which is, hilariously, doubly ironic because he's a researcher in his original canon ). That being said, I love writing smut and domestic fluff as well. I love it a lot actually. If you're down, I'm down lowkey

Plots or memes: I enjoy both ! It's easier to interact with me via memes, however, as I like to write drabbles more than anything. That being said, I also love to plot ! I'm a sucker for building worlds and storylines and getting all embarrassingly invested to the point I make playlists and doodle our muses together... Yes, gimme gimme.

Long or short replies: I have a tendency to write more than I really need to for any given reply - very much the person who goes overboard, though it's usually because I let Kaede take the reigns and do what he does. God, even for one-liners, I'll end up typing too damn much. I don't expect anyone to match my length, though. A big part of the reason I write so much is honestly because my writing is very character-driven, so I focus a lot on what Kaede is thinking, feeling, smelling, touching, etc etc.

Best time to write: Mostly when the mood strikes me, which used to be very heavily at night from 10pm - 4am. These days, I wake early as hell, so I'll write throughout the day as inspiration comes to me between housework & work-work.

Are you like your muse: Maybe, to a point. Kaede has a problem communicating his feelings and needs, and I have a similar problem, though that was entirely incidental and I didn't realize it until fairly recently despite having had him as a muse for 8ish years. I am also a dumbass and have a tragic backstory full of Bad Things, but I think that's really where the similarities end haha Well, maybe I can also be something of a brat, but I'm mostly squishy in all aspects of life. I'm baby

tagged by: no one ! stole it from @arrachnes

[ramrage]

fic concept: "dear simon"

ive been playing with the idea of writing a fic but it's told entirely through the pages of soap's journal, which have at some point become a collection of letters to ghost. of course he's never going to give them to ghost. he just needs a way to puzzle out their interactions because ghost is a cryptic pain in the ass and does he hate me or like me what's going on?

it definitely is chock full of limitations, but were i able to work around them and somehow make it benefit the narrative, it would be electric. the "truth" wouldn't matter or exist at all. it would be limited to soap's perception, colored by overthinking and shame/embarrassment despite trying to write something completely honest and for his eyes only.

shit i wrote at 3am below the cut. any suggestions/crit/feedback would be GREAT (plsplspls)

Dear Simon,

Yer never gonna read this. I’ll probably take a match to it when I’m done because yer a sneaky bastard and writing all this makes me feel like a cunt. I take to my journal, have been forever, to make my thoughts more real, yknow? not sure why i’m explaining myself to ye like yer ever gonna read it…

You’ve been getting on my last bleeding nerve, is the thing. Not like yer doin anything out of the ordinary for yerself. just the normal mysterious, aloof, fucken terrifying thing you do. with the stupid mask. fucken. i just didn’t know that /your thing/ also involved making fucken shite jokes bein endearing not as terrifying as i took ye fer. and that’s grand, except when you’re not being that way and i’m left to wonder how things went tits up.

i remember meeting you. they told me ye were some big scary fucker, and ye were, jesus, but i wanted to crack ye. after graves turned and left us to claw outta las almas, i thought i was. i didnae think ye’d wait for me, didnae think ye’d be in my ear with some of the most shite jokes i’d ever heard, but ye were. made me wanna push ye. see yer limits. i’ll be honest, i was full on with callin ye a good ol boy and tellin ye to take yer mask off. sorry bout that. but ye coulda shut me up and i know ye wouldnae struggle to. so i thought i found a boundary.

but you’ve been short with me all week. today, ye fucking head case, i do nothin more than nudge ye in the gym, tell ye yer liftin light + ye come at me like ye got a stick up yer arse. not even a quip back. whatdye say? some bullshite about respecting your superiors, /mactavish/. ye didnae strike me as a man who gave a quarter shite about vanity lifting and ye still don’t. im probably making somethin outta nothin and i dinnae ken why i even give a damn, give a damn enough to write it out like a wee fucken lovesick school girl, but here i am. i’ve not cared about people liking me for bleedin ages. and people tend to like me, no? charming and handsome bastard that i am.

maybe i don like thinking i can’t figure you out. yer rank pulling stunt has me wanting to punch the head clean off ye, but i still think i can crack ye. it’d do ye some good, lt. i told ye as much in las almas, and i meant it. not sure if ye got it, though.

well. i’ve not got anything left to tell ye, not today, and my hands are cramping somethin awful so i’ll sign off. until next time, ye jackarse.

J

notes to the readers that might exist:

in addition to literally any feedback you have, i have some specific questions about bits im particularly unhappy with/insecure about. but dw bout being too harsh or honest, i was in writing workshops (you wouldnt be able to tell smh) with liberal arts students with something to prove so my skin has been thickened yk. if by the grace of god you wanna beta pls lmk and ill have a child just so i can give you my firstborn xx

how do we feel about the strikethroughs? personally i think they can help me say shit that i want the reader to know but dont think johnny completely means or is ready to say

should i push details like that which reinforce that this is written by hand? like shorthand, writing + instead of "and"

i put slashes around things that i would otherwise italicize bc that's what i do when i journal. does it work? what would work better?

should the entries include dates?

how severely does it sound like an american trying to sound scottish lol? lmk what works/doesn't work im dying out here

i have an idea for the last chapter (despite not having a plot) and tbh it's predictable as hell but it could be zesty (;

[eldritchmochi]

A N T for that alphabet ask game

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

okay uuuuh i mean, obviously shadowgast i have only written like 300k of it in the past few years. im also quite the fan of ashrym/dashrym and callowmore (tho i like my callowmore on the platonic side personally). i will happily make the dirt wizards kiss ANYONE i do have a widomauk fic in the works and i have an idea for a caleb/yussa fic percolating and theres that one porny art by newt with c3 era caleb paired with ashton and orym that im just :lasereyes: yes i will one day write something for it i stg. also fun fact my First Ship for cr was beauyasha like, ep one. i got like 30 seconds into their first interaction and immediately texted cherry at like two am like PLEASE TELL ME THEYRE A SHIP and lo, they were cannon fucking incredible

outside of cr.... stucky, my beloved, especially with skinny steve because i love that sickly twink; big brother hobie creating Situations for gwen and miles (its hard being wingman to two people when you want them to kiss each other and also theyre idiots); kylux, obvs; rey/finn/poe/rose in basically any combination (i wish i didnt have One Hyperfixation Only type adhd because i would LOVE to write my rey/finn/rose idea where rey and rose are mechanics and finn is having car trouble and then they double team him in the office dont ask me why they have straps in the filing cabinet this is pwp); with hs at one point i would literally randomly generate pwp ideas. i didn't often finish them but it was a good exercise especially in characterization but i was mostly read davekat, daverose, any combo of erisolkat, and davejohn because i fukken pavlov'd myself into liking the ship lmao

shit this is gonna get long here is a read more

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

hhhh i am so sorry if this sounds mean but the bulk of why i dont read a ton of cr fic when i was constantly devouring kylux fic largely boils down to two things

1. the technical stuff is eeh and 2. there is just not a ton of nuance in characterization or plot

both results in me being perpetually frustrated whenever i try to read most of what i open. theres been some gems!! theres also been a lot of stuff with promise where i can tell in a couple years the writer will knock it out of the park!!! but theres also a god awful amount where i'm just like that is not how dicks work lmao

i am sure a lot of that is because the cr fandom skews a lot younger than kylux (where folks are like 20-30 on average instead of 35-50 kinda younger) plus cr has a LOT of esl speakers compared to kylux whereas a TON of kyluxers have degrees in literature or library science, so like, it makes sense that there's a difference, but it still drive me bonkers that i cant just open a fic and read it without closing it halfway through because its too one note :I

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? 

nope!! i am very ship and let ship in all regards. there are many things i enjoy (like short!essek or the idea that caleb would and probably has made out with all of his friends) that crop up repeatedly across my fic but i'm down for basically any good faith interpretation and i LOVE when someone writes a weird headcannon so well i have to steal it

there are many letters left of this ask meme if anyone else wants to send me a q!! pls enrich the mochi this is fun

[smoosnoom]

can’t believe that i finally decided to comment all ur works that i read before daily compliments.

“let me steal this moment from you” became my first victim. tbh i haven’t read it since november i think?? and part of my brain which is responsible for memory is too occupied by remembering facts about u so i don’t remember plot sorry. this one is gonna be like the first time 🙏🏻

“If anything, it’s a miracle any of them are still awake and functioning.” no fr. they spent like a week in that uncomfortable van and the first thing they did after returning to hawkins is cleaned the cabin?? not even shower.

“At least it would save the catastrophe of seeing Argyle and Ted Wheeler interact.” ohh, i’d like to see that

“It’s blue. He imagines painting a yellow sun on it.” 🥺🥺 bc he’s yellow and sunshine and lights up every room he walks in. sorry i love him so much

“He wonders if he's more of a monster than a mistake.” ok i had 10 minutes tears break after that 🧍🏻‍♀️ maybe i Am crybaby idk

“He’s pretty sure it’s the first time they’ve laughed together since they’ve arrived back in Hawkins.” poor boys haven’t laughed in Weeks :( i wish i could fix everything for them

will wants to make “smalltown boy” with mike so bad and i can’t blame him. my boy deserves be as far away from hawkins as possible.

“He doesn’t have any time for self-doubt when Mike turns his hand over in Will’s grasp, until their hands are properly entwined” it’s all them. best friends, each other reassurance and safe space, soulmates if u want. i just love them ughhh. that’s why they hits so hard.

“we aren’t kids anymore” omg how do u exactly know where to put references?

“And we got to bury Jonathan in a bunch of sand, which was pretty fun.” oh wait!! i remember ur Fantastic fan art! writer And artist how talented u are!!

“Night Seven” ofc its night seven. love that it could have been 5+1 but it’s byler so it’s seven instead.

“and it seems to be the right move when Mike lets out an appreciative hum” my “naturally good kisser will” agenda never dies. he just knows what to do he didn’t need practice 🙏🏻

“He probably looks like a kissed-dumb idiot.” he is. good for him!

god, ilysm. ur so talented u have no idea. and u make me feel things.

i love that fic so bad and if u like it too u should thank moon for it!!

if it helps i dont even Remember most of "let me steal this moment", every time i click post it's like every associated memory just vanishes from my brain

im glad u get to experience it all over again i wish i could do the same with other fics </3

"the first thing they did after returning to hawkins is cleaned the cabin?? not even shower." U ARE SO RIGHT i thought abt that the first time i watched vol 2 like what do u mean u arent even going to change !!!! u have been in those close for Days !!!!

i almost did write a ted wheeler and argyle interaction . Almost

that is so real . will byers my sunshine sweetpie

HEOEOKPJY IM SO SOSRRY

so real and true ! i need these two far far away from hawkins and HAPPYYY

u get me !!!!!! theyve alwyas been best friends first and thats why they hit so different

oh god not the drawing 😭😭😭 can we pretend that Didn't happen . maybe . my artistry isnt grea t

IM SO HAPYPPYY U NOTICED !!!! night seven !!!! it was a seven !!!!!!!

will is just naturally good at it idk what to tell u . yes he has never kissed anyone Yes he is a loser yes hes also great as kissing . sorry

so honored to have made u feel things <3 alya my beloved it is Always the best day of my life whenever u decide to read something of mine :D

[raijinhasverybigpecs]

working on adding drafts to the queue now besties ‼️ i am trying to muster the strength to be into smite again none of the new content is appealing to me although in fairness i’ve stopped keeping up with what’s going on so idk either way lol

[tobesolonely]

kindergarten teachers

summary: teacher!harry and coworker y/n have a hard time coming to terms with their feelings for each other

a/n: ahhh she’s finally done! i’ve been working on this fic for sooo long and i hope u all like it! big thanks to @queencharry​ for helping me when i got stuck and beta reading, and @behindthatbabyface​ for beta reading as well and giving me feedback!! i appreciate u both <3 enjoy ~11.3k words of some mutual pining and teacher!h interacting with lil kindergarteners 🥺also i am sorry if theres any major grammar mistakes (as always) or crazy typos, i always miss some things when i go back and proofread that im sure i’ll catch later! thank u

warnings: smut, mentions of alcohol 

talk to me about harry and y/n! let me know your thoughts!!

my ko-fi! thank you :)

From the time you were very young, you knew you wanted to be a teacher. One of your earliest childhood memories was going to school dressed up as one for career day. Your usually untamed hair was pulled back into a sleek bun (courtesy of your mother), and you donned a funky baby-pink sweater. For bottoms, you wore the closest thing to a pencil skirt you had in your five-year-old wardrobe. When you look back on the photographs your mother took of you that day, you did not resemble a teacher in any way. You were sure if you had not done your Career Day presentation in front of the whole class, no one would have even known who you were dressed up as.

Once you moved onto college and declared Education as a major, that was when people really started to let you hear their opinions on the career path you wanted to pursue. It seemed like whenever you went home for a holiday, relatives were always in your ear saying, “You know teachers don’t make a lot of money, right? Have you ever considered something in the sciences?”. You always responded, “I know, but what would the world do without teachers?”.

Eventually, you finished your undergraduate career, successfully completed student teaching with the highest praise from your superiors and colleagues, obtained your teaching credentials, and even went back to school to get your Master’s degree. So, it was much to everyone’s surprise when you settled on being a Kindergarten teacher. People assumed that because you completed so much schooling, you wanted to be a university professor. However, the thought never even crossed your mind. You always thought Kindergarten teachers were the most impressionable people out there and knew you wanted to be one.

To you, there was no greater responsibility than that of a Kindergarten teacher. It was your responsibility to teach your students reading, writing, art, and music at the most basic level. You showed them how to play with others, how to be kind, and give them the tools necessary to succeed once they leave your classroom. You were the first teacher your students ever had, so you needed to make them fall in love with school instead of hate it, considering they’d have to stick to it until they were at least eighteen. 

You’ve been a credentialed Kindergarten teacher for the last three years, and you’ve loved every moment of it. You were one of the younger teachers at school, but you never felt left out. Your colleagues were amazing people who often shared tips and tricks they wish they knew when they first started teaching.

Now, you were groggily unlocking the door to your classroom, feeling those first-day-of-school jitters you always felt. You knew kindergarteners weren’t there to harshly critique you. Still, you wanted them to go home and tell their parents about how excited they were to have you as a teacher, not run home in tears. That never happened, of course, but you didn’t want to take any chances. You drop your keys and mutter a quiet, “Shit!” setting your travel mug filled with coffee on the ground and readjust the box of donuts you had for your kids on your hip. As you reach for your keys, you hear a deep voice ask if you need help. You quickly turn around, eyes wide from being startled.

“Oh! You scared me,” you place your free hand over your chest. “But yeah, actually, that’d be great. I’m struggling to get my door open.” The man nods, his own keys he wore around his neck jangling as he retrieves first your keys, then your coffee mug.

“I’m Harry– Mr. Styles, if you want,” he holds your keys out for you to take, your coffee mug still in his large hands. “Uh, I’m the new Kindergarten teacher.” You give him a confused look and trade the box of donuts in your arms for your keys, opening the door. “The last one, Mrs. Brown, I think it was, I guess she decided a few weeks back that she wanted to retire.” You get your door open and walk inside your classroom, turning on the lights. It was a little stuffy, considering you hadn’t been there to open any windows in about a month.

“Oh, that’s right! Welcome,” you give him a warm smile. “I’m Y/N– Miss Y/L/N if you want.” A slight blush appears on his cheeks. “We’re gonna be working together then, it seems. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Mrs. Brown, but it’ll be nice to collaborate with someone closer to my age, you know?” Harry nods, and you realize he still had your coffee mug and box of donuts in his hands. “You can just set that on my desk, thanks for helping out. Would you like a donut?”

“Um, I- it’s okay,” he stammers, setting the items down. “Sorry, it’s just that I’ll probably crash if I have a donut first thing in the mornin’.” You smile at him and move to open all your windows and the back door, wanting the stuffy classroom to air out a bit before the children got here. 

“I totally get that,” you giggle, walking back over to your desk. “Are you excited about the first day? I always get a little nervous. I also talk a lot when I’m nervous, I’m sure you caught onto that.” 

For the first time that morning, Harry laughs. “Yeah, I’m nervous, too. ’ve never taught in the States before, so this is a bit new to me.” He’s playing with the keys hanging from his lanyard. 

“I noticed you had an accent, but I didn’t know if it was weird to ask about it. What brings you to California?” You open the box of donuts and take one out, wanting to eat it before it gets cold, and the glaze hardens.

“Uh, I went to University here, but when I graduated, I decided to go back home and teach for a couple of years. I really missed being here though and wanted to come back, so I got my credentials, and uh, here I am,” he tells you with a grin, and you notice he has deep dimples. 

“Well, we’re glad you’re here,” you tell him earnestly. “The kids are just gonna love your accent, too!” you joke and Harry laughs for the second time that day. 

“If all else fails, ’m hopin’ to charm everyone over with my accent,” he stares at you for a moment before speaking again. “Well, I better finish getting situated. It’s fifteen til, and I reckon the children will be arriving soon, yeah?” He asks. You nod. 

“Best to be waiting at parent drop-off too, there are always a few parents that are just as nervous as their babies, if not more, and could use a quick pep talk.”

“Thanks for lettin’ me know. I was thinking about standing out there anyway, just to make a good first impression.” You take another bite of your donut, giving him a thumbs up. 

“You’ve got this, Harry. I know you’re not completely clueless since you’ve taught before, but I know the first day can be a little intimidating. You know where I am if you need anything.” He gives you a grateful smile, quietly thanking you before turning to walk out the door. You’re left thinking about your new coworker, only being pulled from your thoughts of him when the first bell rings.

“Good morning everyone, my name is Miss Y/L/N. Are you all excited to get this school year started?” A chorus of high-pitched yeses fills the room, and you smile warmly at your class. “I’m so excited that you’re all here! I have a little surprise for each of you!” You grab the box of donuts and walk back to the rug in the center of the room that the children usually sat on for storytime. Little gasps fill your ears, and they all say, “Donuts!” and “Yummy!”. You smile at the kids again, already feeling overwhelmed with how adorable they were. 

“We all get a donut?” one little girl asks, her eyes wide. You nod at her.

“Of course! Everyone will get a donut, sweetie.” You move to get the plastic food gloves you kept so you can safely hand out a donut to everyone. “Okay guys, I’m going to pass a stack of napkins around the room. Take one and pass the stack to the person sitting next to you. Does that make sense?” All the students nod their heads in confirmation, so you grab a stack and hand them to the child sitting closest to you. “Once the last person has their napkin, let me know, and then it’ll be donut time!” You say this over-enthusiastically, and the children squirm in their seats in excitement.

As you go around handing out donuts to each of your students, you learn their names and ask them to tell you one fun fact about them. Most children say things like, “I have a brother/sister!” or “I can run really fast!”, and you find it absolutely adorable. One thing you loved the most about teaching five-year-olds was their ability to think everything was cool. It was comforting to know that no matter what you did, they’d find you cool, and your first-day jitters quickly dissipated. As the children eat their donuts, you read them a story, putting on different voices for all the various characters. You show them how to raise their hand when they have something they’d like to share and remind them to use their “listening ears” when you or one of their classmates are speaking.

When it’s time for recess, you show them how to line up quietly at the door, and assign a line leader and a hall monitor. You remind the children that they will all get a turn at these tasks eventually because it’ll switch every week, and not to worry. As you’re walking down the hall backward (one of your teachers walks that you’d finally perfected), you hear Harry’s voice.

“Okay Room Ten, we’re gonna go out to the playground now, where you all will get to play every recess and lunch. That sounds like fun, doesn’t it?” He asks them, and you hear little voices chattering out to him in excitement. You can’t help but peek into his classroom as you walked by, as his door was open. He didn’t see you because he was busy organizing his class into a straight line, so you keep going. Your class, who, much to your surprise, was walking very quietly, got loud once they saw the Kindergarten play area had a slide and monkey bars.

“We get to play on this?” one of your students, Destiny, questions. 

“Yup! This is a pretty cool play area, isn’t it?” They nod and stare at you, waiting for direction. “Oh, you can all go play and run around, get some of that energy out. When the bell rings, though, I want you to listen to the yard teachers because they’re gonna help get you all lined back up so we can go back inside. Deal?” The children give you nods and thumbs up, and you grin at them, telling them to have fun and be nice to one another. As you’re turning to go to the teacher’s lounge to refill your mug of coffee, you see Harry walking down the hallway with his class, and decide to wait for him. He gives his class the same spiel you gave yours and tells them to “Treat each other with kindness” before noticing you waiting for him.

“Hey,” he gives you a grin, looking far more relaxed than he did when you saw him earlier that morning. “How’s it going so far?”

“It’s great,” you reply, leading him in the direction of the teacher’s lounge. “They’re all adorable.”

“Yeah, don’t know what I was so nervous fo’. They’re great. Also, you’re right,” Harry has an amused look on his face. “The first thirty minutes of ’em bein’ there was just them askin’ me to say things because they think I sound funny.” 

“I told you!” you exclaim, laughing at him. “A British accent is definitely not something we hear every day, not here at least.”

“I figured,” he replies, and silence falls between you. “Where are we going, by the way?”

You stop in front of a blue door and sift through the keys on your lanyard, finally finding the one you were looking for. “Teacher’s lounge. Have you had the chance to check it out yet?” He shakes his head, and you pull open the door after having unlocked it. “After you.” He shakes his head and steps back, signaling you go ahead of him. You quirk an eyebrow at him, and he gives you a defensive look.

“What? ‘M a gentleman. Ladies first,” he insists, holding the door open. You walk inside the room, trying to refrain from rolling your eyes. There aren’t many teachers in the lounge. You figure they all must be in their classrooms, trying to do some last-minute organization and lesson planning amidst the first day of school chaos. However, a few colleagues that you’re rather fond of are in the room, so you take it upon yourself to introduce them to Harry.

“Hello everyone, I hope you’re all having a relaxing morning!” They chuckle lightly at your sarcasm. “I’d like you all to meet Mr. Harry Styles. He’s the new Kindergarten teacher that took Mrs. Brown’s place.” A look of realization washes over all three teachers’ faces, and they warmly greet him. Harry goes around, shaking each of their hands, voice dripping with charm.

“Lovely to meet you all. Looking forward to collaborating,” he tells them quietly. They begin engaging in polite conversation, so you leave Harry’s side, walking over to the coffee station to get what you came for before recess was over. He joins you shortly after, grabbing a disposable cup. “They were a nice bunch.” He mutters, pouring the steaming coffee into his cup. You hum in agreement.

“Everyone here is nice. The lounge is usually much more crowded than this. Everyone else must be in their rooms,” you flick your wrist up to check the time. “We got some time to sit down and breathe for a bit if you’d like? Unless you wanted to get back to your room.”

“‘M in no rush, trust me,” he tells you, flashing you a small smile. “Let’s take a seat.” Harry walks over to an unoccupied couch and sits down slowly, taking care not to spill his coffee. 

“You didn’t want a lid?” you question when you see him struggling. He shrugs.

“Not necessary. Jus’ some extra plastic,” you hum and look down at your lap. You were quickly learning that Harry was not a big talker, and he liked to get his point across in as few words as possible. Him being a Kindergarten teacher contradicted heavily with his rather bashful demeanor, but that just made him all the more endearing to you.

“Do you live nearby, or is your commute long?” you ask him after a few moments of silence. As soon as you ask the question, you internally cringe, feeling like it was too invasive. If Harry thought the question was weird, he doesn’t show it.

“I live in town. I actually walked here today, believe it or not,” he tells you with a chuckle. “Was such a beautiful morning that I figured I should.” Every time you think Harry can’t possibly get any more captivating, he does, and you find yourself biting back a smile.

“How long is your walk?” You cross your legs and then uncross them, a nervous habit that you had. Harry takes a sip of coffee, mulling your question over.

“I’d say it took me about twenty minutes. I was walkin’ at a pretty leisurely pace, though,” Harry shrugs. “How about you? Do you live nearby?”

“I also live in town, but I’m way too lazy to walk, so props to you,” you smile. “The best thing about living around here is seeing your kids out in public. It’s the cutest thing.” Harry smiles, not saying anything else. A silence falls over the two of you again but instead of feeling the need to fill it, you just sit beside him, drinking your coffee. Your mind wanders off to what you were going to do for the rest of the school day, if you had enough groceries in your apartment for dinner or if you should go grocery shopping after work, and if you remembered to pay your bills on time. The bell rings to signify the end of recess, and you jump slightly.

“Ready to go back?” Harry asks, standing up and walking back over to the coffee station. “Think’m gonna get a bit more.” You go to stand by the door, waiting for him to pour another cup of coffee. He quickly rejoins you, and the coffee sloshes a bit, some getting on his hand, but he doesn’t seem to notice. “Hope those lil’ buggers got some of their energy out.”

“Right! Mine was even more hyper than they probably would’ve been ’cause I gave them those donuts this morning,” you laugh. “So, for my sake, I hope so too.” When you and Harry arrive back at the Kindergarten play area, your classes are already lined up quietly awaiting instruction, thanks to the yard teachers. You and Harry both thank them and move to stand in front of your kids. 

“Miss Y/L/N,” one of your children calls out from the back of the line. “Can we get more donuts when we go back inside?” You see Harry smile out of the corner of your eye as he’s giving instruction to his class.

“There are no more donuts, you guys ate them all! I have something even cooler than donuts planned for us, though, okay? Now, remember what I told you all about walking quietly, right? Mr. Line Leader, how does your line look? Do you think we’re all set to go back inside?” The child you appointed line leader turns around to look at everyone, occasionally shushing some people. After a few moments, he turns back to you, giving you a thumbs up. 

Harry moves to stand beside you, leaning down to whisper in your ear. “Wanna eat lunch together and do some planning? I feel like it would be a good idea for us to be teachin’ the same things, more or less.” Your body feels warm all over, and you just look at him and nod, not trusting yourself to speak. Harry smiles and places a hand on your shoulder. At a normal volume, he says, “See you then, Miss Y/L/N.” 

Upon entering Harry’s room, you’re immediately met with the scent of vanilla and the loud hum of the air conditioning. It was bright, adorably decorated, and surprisingly decluttered. It was the polar opposite of your room, and you found it very welcoming and comforting. “Nice set-up you’ve got going on in here,” you tell him. He jumps in his seat at his desk, not having heard you come in.

“Fucks sake,” he mumbles, face going red. “You scared me. Thanks, though. My sister helped me decorate, I don’t really have an eye for this type of stuff.” He rubs the back of his neck, sheepishly. 

“Well, if you ever need any help decorating for back to school and your sister isn’t around, I’d be more than happy to help.” Harry smiles and suddenly gets up from his chair, offering it to you.

“Please, take my seat. I’ll just sit in one of the kids’ chairs,” he rolls it towards you, and you shake your head, about to object, but he interrupts you. “It’s okay, Y/N. Their chairs aren’t that bad.” You take the seat Harry was just in, mumbling a quiet thank you. He hums and pulls a tiny chair up beside you, legs scraping loudly across the floor. When he sits down in it, you can’t but burst out laughing.

“Harry, that chair is so tiny! Are you sure you don’t want me to sit there instead? You look so uncomfortable,” you tell him in between laughs. “This is your classroom, after all, I’m just a guest.” Harry shakes his head, cheeks flushed.

“It’s okay, Y/N, really. ‘M perfectly comfortable in this lil’ miniature chair,” he looks at the lunch bag you sat on his desk. “What’s for lunch?” You reach for your sack and unzip it, pulling out a pre-packaged salad from Trader Joe’s.

“I’m very lazy when it comes to packing my lunches,” you admit sheepishly, pulling out a fork. “How about you? Did you eat already?”

“Oh yeah, I had a green smoothie. Not a big lunch guy,” he replies calmly. “Wanna get started with planning? I think we only have about thirty minutes left.” He looks down at his watch to confirm the time. Harry opens his planner, and you see pages filled with his neat, blocky scrawl. He jumps right into talking about the ideas he had in mind, excitement filling his voice that you haven’t yet heard. 

The passion and enthusiasm he has for teaching are evident through the way he tells you about the activities he has planned, new materials and teaching methods he wants to try implementing, and things he’s tried before that didn’t work out the way he wanted them to. He asks you for your advice and listens intently when you speak, jotting down notes.

You find yourself having to mentally remind yourself not to stare at him. He was a handsome man– there was no denying that. He had curly brown hair, soft and wild-looking, the most beautiful green eyes you’d ever seen, and arms covered in tattoos. You also noticed he had the tiniest cross on his left hand. You wanted to ask him about it, but you figured that was a conversation for another time. 

“Y/N? Did you hear what I just said,” Harry asks, giving you a concerned look. “Are you alright? I think you just zoned out for a couple minutes or somethin’.” You nod quickly, feeling your palms growing sweaty.

“Oh yeah, sorry, I was just thinking about something I have to do later. What did you just say?” You play off how you were just wholly drooling over your new coworker, feeling scrutinized under his piercing gaze.

“Jus’ got an email from the principal. Said we have a faculty meetin’ after school at three. Wanna go together?” He asks. You know Harry’s asking you to accompany him primarily because you’re the only person he really knows so far. However, it still makes you feel warm and special. “He said we’re gonna go over some planning for the Fall Festival. What’s that?”

“Oh, it’s just the back-to-school festival. It’s adorable,” you explain. “It’s like a mini carnival that we have right here on the playground. Every year they have teachers host booths. It’s a great way to get to meet your kids’ parents and bond with the other faculty.” Harry nods, standing up from the tiny chair right as the bell signifying the end of lunch rings.

“That sounds lovely,” he chirps, smiling down at you. “We’re gonna have the best booth out of everyone Y/N, trust me.” He jokes, the corner of his eyes crinkling. This was the most Harry had talked since you met him that morning and you were enjoying witnessing him open up to you more and more with each conversation shared.

“It is,” you stand up as well, gathering your trash and empty lunch pail. “Thanks for having me, Harry. Next time we can meet in my room. I wouldn’t mind making this a daily thing.” As soon as the words came out of your mouth, you physically wince, figuring Harry had to think you were obsessed with him at this point. He looks down, the corners of his mouth upturned when he makes eye contact with you again.

“I’d like that, Y/N. I’ll actually start bringin’ a proper lunch, so you’re not the only one eating,” you smile. “I’ll meet you in your room after school?” You nod in confirmation, walking out the door in front of him. 

“See ya later.”

“Did everyone have a good day today?” You ask your class, walking backward to the dismissal gate. You’re met with a chorus of cheerful sounding ‘yeses,’ and you place your hand over your heart in a dramatic fashion. “That makes me so happy, everyone! You’re all incredible little people, and I think we’re gonna have a fantastic year. What do you guys think?” The children chatter excitedly, glad to have made it through their first day of school and see their parents on the other side of the gate eagerly awaiting them, cell phones snapping pictures. 

Harry’s already at the gate, waiting for the bell to ring so he can dismiss his class. He’s walking down the line asking each of the children if they see who they’re supposed to go home with, crouching down to their height so they can point them out to him. Some children in his class look a little upset because they don’t see their parents yet. Harry quickly consoles them, telling them they can all play a fun game together while they wait for their ‘Mummies and Daddies.’

You do the same with your kids, and by the time the bell rings and you finish dismissing the ones who saw someone there to pick them up, there was one child from your class who was still waiting and two from Harry’s. He walks over to you, one of their tiny hands in each of his. The boy looks unbothered, but the girl was beginning to cry.

“Hey, Ava, should we ask Miss Y/L/N and her friend if they want to play iSpy with us? The more, the merrier, isn’t that right?” He looks down at her, and she nods, looking down. You figure she’s one of his more shy students he was telling you about earlier.

“Hi, sweetie! I’m Miss Y/L/N, are you waiting for your mom or dad?” She nods, biting her lip. You turn and gesture to your one student who was waiting as well. “Well, so is she! Don’t worry, they’ll be here.”

“I’m Matthew,” the little boy holding Harry’s other hand informs you, shifting from foot to foot. You give him a big smile.

“Hello, Matthew! I love your Spiderman shirt; he’s just the coolest. Jade, do you want to introduce yourself to Mr. Styles, Ava, and Matthew? Remember when we learned about introductions today in class? When you got to introduce yourself to all your classmates?”

Jade nods, a big, toothy grin on her face. “Hi! My name is Jade, and I am five-years-old but my birthday is September 19th, so I’m actually almost six-years-old,” she tells them matter-of-factly. “It’s very nice to meet you!” She adds, remembering the script you gave them earlier. Harry looks down at her, an impressed look on his face.

“Well, it is very lovely to meet you too, Jade! Do we all know how to play iSpy?” Jade and Matthew shout in excitement, but Ava just grips tighter onto Harry’s hand. He looks down at her again. “Do y’ want Miss Y/L/N and I to show you how to play, Ava?” His voice is very quiet, slow, and soothing. She nods, letting go of his hand.

“Well Ava,” you say, looking around for something to start the game out with. “I would say, “I spy with my little eye something green. Then you, Mr. Styles, Matthew, and Jade, would have to look around and name out everything that’s green. If you name something and it’s not it, then I will tell you nope, and you can try again, but if you figure it out, then you’re the winner! Does that make sense?”

She nods, and you see a gleam of excitement in her eyes. “Can I go first?” She asks quietly. You tell her, yes, and she looks around quickly, trying to find something to say. “I spy with my little eye something blue!” She has a triumphant smile on her face, and even though you immediately know she’s talking about the sky and you’re sure Harry does too, you both decide to take a step back and let the children take the game into their own hands.

“Y’know, that lil’ introduction Jade gave was really somethin’. I didn’t even think about teachin’ my kids that. Think I’ll try that out tomorrow,” Harry whispers, craning his neck slightly to be at your ear. You shiver at the feeling of his warm breath against your skin. 

“Yeah, I feel like that’s always a good first day of school activity for them to do. A lot of them have never really been exposed to people outside of their immediate family, so they’re not too sure how to talk to others.” Harry hums, standing back up straight.

“Mr. Styles,” Matthew calls, running over to Harry. “My mommy is here. Can I go now?” Harry nods, telling Matthew to wait for him so he can say hi to his mother. You watch as he walks away, overhearing as he tells the boy’s mother what a great job he did today and how he’s so excited to go through this school year with him in his class. Ten minutes later, Jade and Ava are gone as well, and Harry locks the dismissal gate. 

“I forgot how exhausting the first day could be,” he tells you, letting out a quiet sigh. “Ready to go to that meeting, though? It’s just about three.” You check your watch and see the time read at 2:57 PM.

“Yeah, just let me grab my bag, and we can head over there. I’m really hoping this won’t take too long; I was planning on going grocery shopping after this,” you walk down the hall towards your classroom and feel Harry’s gaze on you.

“Where do you like to go grocery shopping?” he asks after a few moments of silence. “I need to pick up some groceries this week, too. ’ve been eatin’ takeout for the past week, and I’m starting to feel like shit.” You laugh, unlocking your door. Harry stands outside, holding it open while you grab your purse and lunch bag.

“Honestly, I don’t have a preference. I switch it up a lot,” you shrug, making sure all the windows are closed before walking out. “Was there something, in particular, you were looking for?”

“Uh,” Harry scratches the back of his head. “No? Maybe you could text me a list of all your favorite stores, though. Jus’ so I won’t forget.”

You quirk an eyebrow at him, ignoring how fast your heart was beating. “Are you asking for my number, Mr. Styles?”

“I guess I am,” he replies nonchalantly. “We’re gonna be workin’ together a lot. Might as well have your number– if that’s okay, I mean.” He looks down at you.

“Yeah, remind me after the meeting,” you tell him, trying your hardest to play it cool. “Don’t let me forget.”

“Trust me, I won’t.”

“So Y/N and Harry, you two will be in charge of the pumpkin decorating booth? Is that right?” The principal looks down at his notes and then shifts his gaze between the both of you. You both nod.

“Yeah, I’m excited! I think it’ll be a lot of fun,” you reply excitedly. “We can go to the craft store and get a bunch of paints, but where do you think the best place to get the pumpkins would be?” You pull out your planner, ready to jot down any suggestions.

“You two could try going to a pumpkin patch? They’re starting to pop-up around town,” one teacher suggests. “I’m sure if you purchased a bunch and told them it was for a school event, we could get some kind of deal.” The rest of the faculty buzzes in agreement.

“Y/N and Harry, could you get to a pumpkin patch sometimes this week and see if they can give us an estimate of how much it would cost? Then I could let the PTA know.” You and Harry confirm that it will be possible to do sometime this week, and the meeting continues on.

By the time you’re finally free to leave the meeting, it’s already growing dark outside. Harry’s hands are shoved in his pockets, and he’s looking down at his feet. “So–”

“Do you want–”

You both stop, laughing awkwardly. “You go first.” you tighten the grip on your purse.

“Uh, I was jus’ gonna ask if I could get your number now. Yanno, so we can plan when we’re gonna go get all the stuff for our booth? And you still gotta tell me what your favorite grocery stores are,” he has a playful look in his eyes. For the thousandth time that day, your hands become clammy. There was just something about every interaction you had with him that made you so nervous. 

“Oh yeah,” you answer coolly, digging in your purse for your phone. “Just text your number, so I have it.” You hand him his phone, and he stops dead in his tracks, a look of concentration on his face. 

“I can’t walk and be on the phone at the same time,” he mutters when he looks back up and realizes you were watching him the whole time. “I don’t know how people do it.” He hands you back your phone. “What were y’ gonna ask me?”

“I was just um, I was gonna ask if you wanted me to give you a ride home? I mean, since you walked to work today and it’ll be dark soon,” talking to Harry made you feel like a nervous school girl interacting with her first crush, and you hated that feeling.

“I couldn’t ask you to do that–”

“It’s no bother, really,” you cut him off, and you realize you sound a little eager, but at that point, you didn’t even care. “I’m sure we don’t live too far from each other.” Harry looks slightly unsure but nods, and you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding.

“If you’re sure, Y/N. I appreciate it, I owe you one,” he’s following behind you to the teacher parking lot. You silently pray your car isn’t messy inside like it usually is as you approach it. You decide to pick up your pace and walk ahead of him, telling yourself if the passenger side was messy, you’d just quickly throw everything in the back. “Heyyyy, why’re you walkin’ so fast? Are you sure you’ve got the time to take me home?” He takes a few big strides and quickly catches up with your hurried, tiny ones.

“Yeah, of course, I have time,” you respond, unlocking your car as you approach it. “If it’s messy, then just ignore it.” you preface, honestly not remembering the state in which you left your car this morning when you walked into work.

“Don’t worry about it. You should see mine,” Harry jokes, and it immediately puts you at ease. As you’re about to open your door, Harry quickly rushes to your side, opening it himself. “Let me.” 

His hand rests over yours, and you quickly pull it away, your body heating up. “Harry, I’m already right here. I can open my own car door.” 

“I know you can. But I’m a gentle—“ 

“You’re a gentleman, I know,” you playfully roll your eyes and take a step back, allowing Harry to open your car door all the way. You couldn’t lie and say you weren’t flattered and honestly a little bit turned on. He flashes you a smile as you situate yourself behind the wheel of the car and makes sure you’re all the way in before slamming it shut. You see him lightly jog around to the passenger side, and soon enough, he’s beside you, your car immediately starting to smell like his cologne. 

“What music do you like to listen to?” Harry asks, pulling his phone out of his pocket. 

“You ask me a lot of random questions, Harry,” you reply, looking behind you as you slowly back out. 

“Is it a crime to wanna get to know my new coworker?” you can hear a smile in his voice. “C’mon. What’s your favorite music to listen to?” 

You shrug, looking both ways before exiting the parking lot. “Where do you live?” 

“I don’t know my address yet. Just take a left at this light coming up. Favorite music?” Out of the corner of his eye, you see him scrolling through his music library. 

“You don’t know your address yet?” 

“No. I’ll play something random,” he says, tapping his hand on his knee. “You can take a right at that stop sign up there.” You put on your blinker and glance over your shoulder before switching lanes. Harry quickly pairs his phone with your Bluetooth, and a song you’re unfamiliar with blares through your speakers. Neither one of you says anything else, only speaking to each other when he’s giving you directions to his house, and you’re confirming what he said.

After two more songs, Harry says, “S’right up here.” He’s led you to a beautiful apartment complex— one you were looking at when you were moving out of your parent’s home but just couldn’t afford as a new graduate. You expertly parallel park and then turn the car off, a silence falling between the two of you.

“This is a nice complex,” you tell him after a moment. “Really close to school. I see why you opted to walk to work today.” 

“Mhm,” he hums. His seatbelt is still fastened. “I understand if you’re busy, but did you wanna come in?” You raise an eyebrow at him, and he quickly backtracks. “I mean— it’s just— remember the activity you taught your kids today? About introductions? Jus’ wanted to know if you could walk me through it, that’s all.” 

“Oh. Well yeah, I can hang out for a bit.” You unbuckle your seatbelt and reach in the backseat for your purse that you threw haphazardly over your shoulder earlier. 

“Will your boyfriend be okay with you coming in, though?” He’s chewing on the inside of his cheek.

“What makes you think I have a boyfriend?” You’re slightly taken aback and oddly flattered that he thought you were in a relationship.

“I dunno,” his face grows red. “You got all weird when I opened doors for ya. Figured you had a boyfriend.”

“I don’t.”

“Cool.” More silence falls, this time an awkward one.

“Should we go inside now?” you unlock the doors, quickly getting out of the car. Harry follows behind you and waits for you to walk onto the sidewalk before going up the walkway.

“How close do you live to me?” Harry asks, punching in his gate code. He pulls the gate open and gestures for you to go ahead of him. You decide not to comment on it this time.

“A couple blocks away. I could probably walk over here if I was in the mood to,” Harry shuts the gate behind you and walks over to the first set of stairs, taking them two at a time. “I was interested in this complex when I was moving out of my parents’ but I settled on something else.” He hums, stopping in front of the first door at the top of the stairs. There’s a brown ‘Welcome!’ mat outside his door, along with a few potted plants.

“Here we are,” he looks over his shoulder as if he’s checking if you’re still there. “Excuse the boxes. ‘M not done unpacking yet.” He pushes open the door and steps in, quickly turning on the light. You’re met with the same sweet scent of vanilla that’s in his classroom. Considering he was in the process of unpacking, his apartment was reasonably tidy.

“It looks good in here,” your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest. You were in your coworker’s house that you just met that day, and you could already feel yourself developing a crush on him. There was obviously no way you’d let this relationship progress past anything strictly professional, but that didn’t mean you weren’t allowed to admire his beauty.

“Thanks,” he gives you a smile, relief washing over his face. “You can set your bag down if you want. Take a seat, make yourself at home.” He leaves the room, and you hear him rattling around in the kitchen. “Can I get you anything to drink? Wine? Coffee? Tea?”

“Coffee sounds great,” you reply. You set your purse down on his coffee table and sit on the edge of his couch, inspecting his living room closer. There were two books on the table, both flipped upside down as a way to mark his page. There were a few more plants inside, similar to the ones in front of his door. There was a framed picture of him with two beautiful women you assumed to be his mother and sister. Harry comes back into the room a few minutes later, two steaming cups of black coffee in hand.

“Here you are, Miss Y/L/N,” he puts on an exaggerated posh accent, and you giggle.

“Why thank you, Mr. Styles,” you respond in the same voice. “Do you have cream and sugar?”

He wrinkles his nose. “I think I might have sugar. Is oat milk, okay? I don’t have cream.” He goes back to his kitchen to retrieve the items before you can tell him it’s okay, and you’ll just drink it black. You thank him, pouring the tiniest splash of oat milk into your coffee. You can feel his eyes on you as you add a bit of sugar, stir, taste, and then add some more.

“So,” you begin after your coffee is made to your liking. “What did you think about your first day? You can be honest since we’re not on campus anymore.” Harry laughs, looking down at his fingernails.

“Uh,” he starts. You notice he says, ‘uh’ a lot. “It was terrific. Not so sure I would’ve felt the same way if I didn’t have you to help me through it.” 

“We’re partners in crime now, Harry. We’re the two Kindergarten teachers, and you’re the only other person there my age? We’ve definitely gotta stick together,” you give him a big smile. He doesn’t smile back but looks a bit troubled instead. You wait for him to speak, coming to accept that long pauses were just a thing when having a conversation with Harry.

“Y’know how I assumed you had a boyfriend earlier? I thought after I’d said that–– rather I hoped after I said that you’d be like,” he clears his throat. “‘Why, no! I don’t have a boyfriend. Do you have a girlfriend?’” He put on the worst American accent you’d ever heard to imitate your voice, causing you to laugh. “To which I would’ve replied with a simple ‘no.’” 

Now it’s your turn to leave Harry wondering what you’re thinking for the first time all day. You can feel his eyes on you as you look at his couch cushions, noticing a bit of crumbs that you hadn’t seen before. “Are you flirting with me?”

“I think you’re beautiful.”

“You don’t even know me. We just met today.”

“Does that mean I can’t think you’re beautiful?”

You bite your lip, feeling yourself starting to grow a bit turned on by his forwardness. There was a part of you that would risk it all for just one night in bed with Harry because you just found him that attractive. The rational, adult side of you was screaming, ‘Don’t mix business with pleasure!’. By now, you had both moved closer on the couch to one another, knees nearly touching. “I think you’re beautiful, too.” He grins, setting his coffee cup down. You do the same.

“Would it be crazy of me to tell you that I really wanna kiss you right now?” His face is mere inches from yours, so close that you could smell the coffee on his breath. You shake your head.

“No. I really wanna kiss you too.”

“C’ mere, then.” 

Harry leans forward a bit more until his lips are ghosting over yours. You pull at the collar of his shirt, bringing his already close body even closer to yours. His lips are softer than they look, and he’s a better kisser than you thought he’d be, too. He brings his hands up to tangle them in your hair, and that’s when you abruptly pull away, not wanting things to go too far. “We shouldn’t…” He looks at you with sad eyes, but he nods, understanding what you mean.

“Probably not the best idea?” his response comes out as more of a question than a statement, but you nod in agreement anyway.

“Definitely not. I’m um–– I’m actually gonna go,” you stand up, slinging your purse over your shoulder. “Thanks for the coffee, Harry. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, see––”

You’re out the door, rushing down the stairs before he can even finish his sentence.

The rest of the school week goes on without either one of you mentioning it. It’s a little awkward for a couple of days, but by the time Friday rolls around, both of you decide the best course of action to take regarding the kiss would be to act like it never happened. 

You’re in your room at lunch hanging up your kids’ artwork they made during their ‘Free Time’ this morning, having declined Harry’s lunch invitation for the fourth time that week. You decided to pretend to be busy with work so you wouldn’t be too tempted to go into his room. To most people, you’re sure it looked like you were avoiding him–– and maybe you were. However, you were trying to get over this crush on him in the best way that you knew how.

“Need some help?”

You jump, nearly falling backward off the stepstool you were on. “Holy shit, Harry! You scared the hell out of me!” You feel your body getting warm, and you quickly look away, not wanting him to see how flustered you were.

“Sorry, you weren’t answering my texts, so I decided to come see what you were up to,” he walks over to where you were standing and hands you a piece of art, smiling at it before handing it to you. “You’ve got some artists in your class.”

“Mhm,” you hum, not looking him in the eyes. You hear him let out a quiet sigh.

“Still able to go see about getting those pumpkins ordered after work?”

You had completely forgotten that you and Harry decided today would be the day you’d go get the pumpkin situated figured out for your booth. For a second, you consider making an excuse to get out of it, but you decide against it. This was something that both of you were asked to do, not just him, and you didn’t want the fact that you let your attraction to him cloud your judgment getting in the way of your professional responsibilities.

“Yeah, that works.”

He doesn’t say anything, and even though you’re not looking at him, you can see the gears in his head turning. “Should we talk––” 

You’re quite literally saved by the bell, the end of lunch interrupting where you knew he was about to lead the conversation. “I’ll see you after school? Did you walk here again? I can drive.” Harry nods slowly.

“Uh, yeah. he replies. “I walked. Uh, ’m gonna go get my kids. See you after school then?”

“Yup!” you respond, fake enthusiasm in your voice. Harry gives you one more look before walking out of your room. You wait until he’s all the way down the hall before following behind him to bring your class back inside. You knew you were the one making things awkward between you and Harry. However, the realistic part of you knew getting involved with your coworker was one of the worst ideas you’d ever had in your life. For now, you’d just tell yourself that you were probably more into Harry than he was into you and pray that would be enough to make you get over your crush.

“I haven’t been to a pumpkin patch since I was a kid.” Harry stuffs his hands farther into his pockets while yours are tightly hugging your chest. You hum, not saying anything. The car ride there was a little awkward, and you were glad it was so short. You could tell there was a lot Harry wanted to say, but you were glad he wasn’t saying it. You keep seeing him glance at you, but you pretend not to notice.

“What size pumpkins should we ask for? Small ones, huh?” Harry nods, looking around in childlike awe. There was a small petting zoo, booths selling warm drinks and kettle corn, and an obscene amount of children.

You walk around together for a moment before encountering a friendly-looking employee who looked like he could help you out. Harry takes over, explaining the situation, and why you need to order one hundred tiny pumpkins. While you’re waiting for the employee to ask the owner if that would even be possible, Harry turns to face you.

“Y/N? Can we talk about what happened on Monday?” you’re about to tell him that you’d rather not, but he continues. “I felt something during that kiss, Y/N. I’m not sure if you felt it too, but I don’t want things to be awkward between us. We have to get through an entire school year working side-by-side, and if you’re not interested, then I respect that one hundred percent, but I just want––”

“So the owner said that is possible!” The employee that was helping you out comes back with a form and clipboard in their hand. “Can you just fill out some information and let us know what time you need it tomorrow? The owner said he could get it delivered and give you guys a discount since you’re ordering so much.”

“That’s great!” you exclaim, taking the form from him. You were glad to have been saved from your conversation with Harry. You quickly go through and fill out everything you can, telling them they can bill your school’s PTA. 

The walk back to your car is silent. You’re replaying what Harry was saying to you over in your head, thinking about what he was going to say before he was interrupted. He opens your car door like he’s been doing, but he doesn’t make eye contact with you or say a word as he slides into the passenger seat.

“Y’can just drop me off,” Harry says quietly. He leans your seat back and closes his eyes. You wait to see if he’ll connect his phone, but he doesn’t, so you turn on the radio at a volume so low it almost can’t be heard. It takes everything in you not to speed back to his place. You just wanted him out of your car. You had such strong feelings for him that it physically hurt, and restraining yourself from telling him how you really felt was growing harder and harder.

“We’re here.” your voice is a little hoarse from not saying anything. Harry slowly opens his eyes and unbuckles his seatbelt, opening the door.

“Right. Thanks for the ride. What time do we need to be at school to set up our booth by?”

“Four. I can pick you up if you want?”

“Yeah. See you tomorrow, Y/N.” He closes the door and walks up to his gate without looking back at you once.

“Hi Miss Y/L/N! Hi Mr. Styles!”

Groups of your students had been coming up to you excitedly all evening. It made you happy to see that the Kindergarten classes were no longer divided. They were starting to hang out with one another. Their parents tell you how their children thought it was just the coolest thing to be on school grounds on a Saturday, and how even though it was only a week into the school year, they were having the best time. It was comments like this that made you fall in love with your job all over again.

Things between you and Harry were going well. It wasn’t awkward, but you think it was because you were both too busy helping children paint their pumpkins. You were glad that Harry didn’t take the bit of downtime the two of you had when no one was at your booth trying to talk about the kiss and instead talked about other random things instead. You find out he loves baking (specifically, bread), he has an obsession with old music, and has about fifty tattoos. He talks to his mom on the phone every day, and he is extremely close to his sister. You tell him about your parents’, your undergraduate experience, your hobbies, and you finally tell him what music you like to listen to.

The festival quickly comes to an end, and you find yourself sad once you and Harry are done cleaning up your booth, knowing that you were just going to drop him off at his apartment and go back to yours to spend another Saturday night alone. You get to his complex almost too quickly, and you almost want to keep going and pretend you accidentally missed it just to be with him a bit longer. Instead, you park.

“D’ya wanna come inside?” He blurts out. Even in the darkness of your car, you can tell his face is flushed. “I mean if you haven’t got plans. I know it’s a Saturday night, so I understand if––”

“Nope, I don’t have plans. I’d love to.” Your hands are shaky as you unbuckle your seatbelt. He quickly gets out of your car and runs around to your side, opening the door for you before you can do it yourself. You almost don’t even notice since it was becoming such a habit.

“I picked up this new bottle of wine a couple days ago that’ve been wanting to pop open. Think we deserve a glass or two after such a long week, hmm?” You wordlessly nod, wholly mesmerized with just how good Harry looked after such a long day of work. His curls fell perfectly across his forehead, his eyes were sparkling and full of excitement. 

“A glass of wine sounds great,” you reply with a chuckle. “I’m ready to drink a whole bottle by the end of the week if I’m being honest.” Harry laughs, quickly punching in his gate code. You could see his hands shaking a little bit, but you decide not to comment on it. He takes the stairs up to his apartment two at a time like he did last time you were there, but this time there’s an urgency and clumsiness to his actions that you haven’t seen before. He jams the key in his lock, quickly shoving the door open.

His apartment is a little messier than it was when you were in it at the beginning of the week, but it’s nothing disgusting. He runs his fingers through his curls, moving aside papers that were scattered along the length of the couch. “Sorry, I was doin’ some planning. Make yourself comfortable.” He disappears to the kitchen, and moments later, you hear the pop of a wine cork and the smooth sound of him pouring the alcohol into glasses.

He emerges from his kitchen, handing you a generously poured glass of wine. “Thanks, Harry,” you tell him before taking a big sip. It was sweet, and while you usually preferred a more dry wine, it was still delicious. 

“Cheers to the end of a successful first week,” he holds up his glass, and you smile, clinking yours with his. “Thanks for helpin’ me get through it, Y/N. Couldn’t have done it without you.” You give him a timid smile.

“Stop, Harry. You’re a great teacher. I can see your kids love you already,” you take another sip of wine. “I kinda do too. I mean–– that came out wrong. I don’t love you, but I do think I like you.” You didn’t know what came over you at that moment, but something told you now was the time to lay it all out on the table with Harry. He sets his glass of wine down, the biggest smile on his face.

“Really? I thought you weren’t interested. Was kinda startin’ to feel like you hate me,” he sounds a little sad. You shake your head.

“Quite the opposite, actually. I’m really into you,” you didn’t even realize how you’d inched your way towards Harry. “I’ve been trying not to think about how we kissed because we shouldn’t, you know? We’re coworkers. I’ve been trying not to think about it all week, though, and I just can’t get you out of my mind.” He stares intensely into your eyes, chewing on the inside of his cheek like he usually does when he’s thinking.

“Can I kiss you, Y/N?” he finally asks. You’re in the same position as you were last time, being mere inches away from the other’s lips. Only this time, you smell the wine on his breath, not coffee. You nod quickly, and Harry cups your face in his hands, hungrily pressing his lips against yours.

“You can do more than kiss me, actually,” you tell him breathlessly. “You can do whatever you want with me.”

Harry raises an eyebrow, a shocked look on his face. “When you say anything…” he trails off.

“I want you to fuck me, Harry,” you tell him bluntly. “Please. Been wanting that all week.” He licks his lips, looking at you in a way he hasn’t yet before. 

“I can definitely do that,” he replies, resting his hand on your thigh. His large hand is dangerously close to your pussy, and you can already feel yourself growing wet. “Let’s get all these clothes off you then, huh?” 

You stand up and quickly start removing your clothes. First, your blouse comes off, and that’s quickly followed by your bra. Harry’s leaning back on the couch, arms resting behind his head. “Enjoying the show?” you ask, quickly pulling down your jeans and underwear. You’re completely naked in front of him in thirty seconds flat, and you reckon that’s the fastest you’ve ever undressed for anything. 

“Very much so,” he mumbles, palming himself over his khakis. “C’ mere, Y/N.” he pats his lap, and you move to sit in it, now straddling him. He softly presses his lips against yours, the hunger that was there just a moment ago completely dissipated. This was a much more hesitant kiss, more gentle and tender. “You’re really beautiful, Y/N.”

You giggle. “I know. You’ve told me that before.”

“I want you to know how much I mean it.”

“I know you do.”

Harry nods. “Can I have a taste of ya now?” you notice that his accent sounds a bit thicker than usual, voice a tad gruffer. You nod, swallowing thickly. Climbing off Harry, you lay back on the couch, situating yourself, so it’s a little more comfortable. He looks into your eyes, placing his hands on your knees. “Is this okay, Y/N?” You nod again, and he removes his hands.

“What’s wrong?” your voice has a hint of desperation in it, but after a week of extreme sexual tension, you wanted nothing more than to cum by the hands of this man.

“Wanna hear you tell me it’s okay. I don’t wanna do anything you don’t want,” he’s looking down at his hands.

“Harry, I wouldn’t have given you a striptease and laid back on this couch for you if I didn’t want it. I wholeheartedly give you permission to do whatever you want with me––”

That’s enough for him. He roughly pries your legs open, immediately licking a long stripe up your heat. You cry out, not expecting him to get right into it. You look down at him and groan when you see he’s making eye contact with you, a smug look on his face. “How’s tha’, love?” You nod, tangling your hands in his curls.

“Yeah Harry, please,” you moan. Harry sucks harshly at your clit, pulling off loudly, the sound echoing throughout his minimally furnished apartment.

“Please what, pet?” He’s looking you dead in the eyes, a devilish grin on his face while his index finger rubs small circles on your clit. Your chest is heaving up and down quickly as you try to calm your breathing down.

“Please make me cum on your tongue, Harry,” you try pushing his head back down to your cunt, but he doesn’t budge.

“Think I rather like hearin’ you beg like this fo’ me. Enjoyin’ watching you squirm like tha’, love.” Just as your about to beg for him some more to feed his inflated ego, he attaches his lips to your clit once more, this time adding his ring finger into your tight pussy. “You’re tight. Sure you’ll be able to take my cock?” His voice is muffled, and you just barely make out what he says.

You clench around his finger, and he laughs, the vibrations sending a new sensation across your clit. “Y’like thinkin’ about my cock, hmm?”

“Yeah, want you in me,” you beg, lifting your hips up. He grips onto your hips tightly, keeping you in place.

“Can feel yeh gettin’ ready for me, darlin’. Think you can take another one?” You nod, and Harry gently places kitten licks on your swollen clit while he slowly pushes his middle finger into you. You feel full in a way you haven’t felt in such a long time, and he only had two fingers in you. Once he pumps his fingers in and out of you a few times, he goes back to harshly sucking on his clit, moaning every so often so you can feel the vibrations against your cunt.

“Fuck,” you’re moaning loudly, and you pray Harry’s neighbors don’t hear you, knowing how thin apartment walls were.

“So fuckin’ wet for me, doll,” he mutters, adding another finger inside you. The burn feels amazing, and you place your hand on his wrist, urging him to go faster. “Gonna cum in my mouth, hmm? Gonna let me feel ya around m’ fingers?”

“Yes, please, Harry,” you feel yourself nearly there, your orgasm threatening to overtake you at any moment. 

“Give it to me then, Y/N. Cum for me,” he demands. As soon as he says those three words, you’re done for, your body going tense as waves of pleasure roll throughout your body. He doesn’t remove his digits from the your cunt until you’re coming down from your high, placing a kiss to your clit. He laughs as you shudder at the overstimulation. Harry places his three fingers that were just inside of you and his mouth and sucks on them, not once breaking eye contact with you. 

“That was really good,” you tell him, crawling on your knees towards him to place a kiss on the underside of his jaw—Harry’s beaming, a triumphant look on his face.

“Not yet. Gotta make y’ cum one more time. I’m a gentleman, after all.” You know he’s messing with you but also serious, so you lean back on the couch, opening your legs once again.

“Are you gonna take off your clothes too? Why am I the only one that’s naked?” Harry laughs, and you hear the clanking of his belt as he undoes it. 

“You’re impatient, aren’t ya?” you nod, and he pulls down his tenting khakis and tight boxers. His cock springs up, slightly touching his stomach, and he hisses at the feeling. “Hold on a sec.” He gets up quickly, and you hear him hurry to what you assume in the bathroom, rummaging around. He comes back a minute later with a box of condoms, making you laugh.

“Is that a new box of condoms? Have you been holding onto those all week, Mr. Styles?” Harry rolls his eyes and opens the box, ripping open a condom expertly with his teeth.

“Weren’t you just the one beggin’ for me, pet? I’d watch it if I were you,” he jokes, rolling the condom onto his hard length. He leans down to place wet, opened mouth kisses to your breasts. “So beautiful.”

“Are you gonna take off your shirt?” you ask quietly. “I kinda wanna see all your tattoos.” Harry raises an eyebrow at you but unbuttons his shirt nevertheless, throwing it into the mess of clothes scattered around the living room. You reach your hand up, shakily tracing the swallows on his chest, moving down to the butterfly across his stomach and finally to the ferns on his abdomen. Harry’s staring down at you, watching as you delicately touch his skin. “You have so many.” you finally say. He nods.

“Yeah. Some of them I just got for the hell of it. Felt like after I got that first tattoo, it was hard to stop.” He caresses the skin on your thighs, and you shudder again. “Gonna let me get inside that pretty lil’ cunt now?”

“Please.”

Harry aligns himself with your entrance and slowly pushes into you, sharply inhaling as you clench around his length. “Relax, Y/N.’ve got ya,” he tells you reassuringly. “Can’t get inside ya if you’re all tense like tha’.” You can tell Harry’s trying his hardest not to absolutely wreck you, the vein in his forehead very prominent from clenching his jaw so tightly. You grip tightly onto his bicep, biting your lip as you adjust to his size. You were so wet and indescribably turned on that you felt every vein his thick cock had to offer, and you knew you wouldn’t last long once he started moving. By the looks of it, Harry wouldn’t either.

“You can move,” you tell him, squeezing your eyes shut. Harry slowly pulls out of you and then ever so gently sinks back inside you, bottoming out. He lets out a breathy moan, moving one of his hands up to tweak your nipples. “Harder, Harry, fuck.” 

He immediately pulls out of you and slams back inside, the sounds of his balls slapping against your ass echoing in the room. You scream in pleasure, no longer caring if his neighbors hear what you two were doing. 

“Like tha’?” He asks cheekily, working up a steady rhythm. You nod, gripping your boobs to keep them from bouncing. Harry shakes his head, forcefully removing your hands. “Nope, none of that. Wanna see ’em.” He takes both of your hands in one of his, pinning them up over your head. His other hand reaches in between your bodies to rub at your clit, and before you have time to warn him, you’re cumming again, squirting all over his cock. 

Harry throws his head back in pleasure, his thrusts getting sloppy and frantic, and you know he’s seconds away from his own orgasm. You spur him on, telling him how badly you wanted him to come inside of you (even though he was wearing a condom). He stills moments later, shaking above you as he holds himself up with an arm, not wanting to collapse on top of you.

“Fuckin’ hell, Y/N. Why did we wait a whole week to do this again?”

[garbagevanfleet]

Brightest Blue (series)

PART ELEVEN

Pairing: Josh x reader Warnings: talk of sex and such, feelings Summary:  Things are changing. New state. New school. New roommate. You just pray things are going to click into place.

Notes: alright, this is terribly late again because im a depressed snail at heart, but its longer than usual, so i hope that makes up for it. If you read my fic at all, i love you. If you interact with this fic in anyway, i want to wed you. 

taglist: @valleyd0ll @satingrass-maidensfair @guitarfingers @thebohemianpenguin @peaceisouranthem @oblvions @hansonobsessed @myownparadise96 @anditsmywholeheart @kill-fear-the-power-of-lies @bigblack-catattack

MASTERPOST

You woke up in a daze of fuzzy but pleasant memories. You were trying to blink the sleep from your eyes when Josh entered your line of sight. He had emerged from the hallway, completely naked save for the necklace he’d been in the night before, little water droplets slipping from his curls to his shoulders. 

You shot up in bed, and as you did, the comforter fell away from your body. It took you a moment for you to realize that it was the air hitting your bare skin that was making you feel chilled, but it didn’t last long. Your face turned beet red as you quickly picked the sheet back up to cover yourself. 

He was giving you an odd look - somewhere between amused and concerned. “Are you alright?” he tried cautiously, still standing there stark naked. 

“Josh! You can’t just walk around naked,” you complained, stuttering on your words as they came out. 

He snorted a laugh. “What? First of all, this is my room. Second of all, it’s a little late to try and protect your modesty.”

You rolled your eyes at him until you realized what he was talking about. “Oh my god, we had sex last night,” you whispered to him like it was a secret, a tiny smile on your lips. 

He nodded, breathing a laugh. “Yeah.”

You experimentally shifted in your seat before grimacing up at him. “That would explain why I’m sitting in a damp spot.”

You could only describe the laugh that escaped him as a cackle, honest and unabashed. “Gross.”

You had to say you agreed with him. 

There was a cautious moment, where you stared at each other, both unsure of what to say. 

“Are we good?” he tried quietly like he was a little scared of what you were going to say.

You patted the spot next to you and he clambered in as he was told. You leaned against him as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder. 

“Of course, we are,” you assured, nuzzling your head into the crook of his neck. 

“If it’s going to make you feel better to pretend it didn’t happen, I wouldn’t be mad.”

You pulled away and looked up at him with a frown. “What are you talking about?”

He shrugged, sporting a nervous smile. “I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

You heaved a big sigh, shifting to look into his eyes. “Josh, I want you to listen to me really carefully, okay?”

He nodded.

You slowly reached up to cup one side of his face in your hand. “I don’t regret it - actually, I had a really nice night. I just think that it would be best for everyone involved if it didn’t happen again. We probably shouldn’t be romantic...or naked around each other.”

The expression he wore seemed like an understanding one, at least to you.

“You want me to make pancakes? Maybe chocolate chip banana?” you offered, giving him a cheeky smile. 

He couldn’t help but match it. “Yes. You’re probably going to want to put your tits away first though.”

“You first,” you quipped, smacking the back of your hand against his peck. 

+++

The rest of the weekend, the two of you spent watching Christmas movies on the couch (even though the holiday was more than a month away) while you worked on sewing the costumes. Josh had offered to ask the theater department if you could borrow a sewing machine, but you had been way too afraid of it to try and use it, so it sat in your room alone. That did, however, leave you to sew 26 costumes by hand. Well, more like 24, since Rachel had two of them mostly done. 

You were finding it oddly fun though, even though your fingers hurt by the fifth stitch or so. The hardest part was making sure you worked on the basics of every costume first - your instinct was to work on one at a time until it was perfect, but you knew you had to be smart about time management. Luckily, even though it was only near mid-November, Michigan’s weather was lovably unpredictable. The weather station had called for snow only through the weekend, but, in reality, it was Monday evening by the time it was done dumping snow - giving you a full three day weekend. 

Kate had been sending you pictures of the pieces of the set she had taken home with her to work on, and you couldn’t hide how impressed you were with her work. You would almost be offended at how good it looked if you hadn’t known she was an Art History major with a heavy side of sculpture work. 

In the last two weeks before the production, you barely got to see Josh. He would walk you to school, but then you usually wouldn’t see him for the entire rest of the day. You tried to wait up for him on Thursday night, but you ended up falling asleep on the couch, and woke at 1 am to him gently patting your shoulder. 

“Hey, you should get up and go to your bed.”

You blinked up at him, sitting up and brushing your sleep-mussed hair from your eyes. 

“You’re home so late,” you scolded half-heartedly, pulling your borrowed sweatshirt closer to your face. 

“I know, sorry. There’s still a lot to do, especially after we got snowed in last weekend,” he replied, sitting gingerly on the armrest. 

“I told you that I’m happy to help however I can.”

He smiled at you, but you had to admit that he looked over-tired. You’d been watching him burn the candle at both ends for three days straight. “It’s a lot of stuff that only I can do. Like going over the music and making the final set diagrams.”

You hummed in understanding as a response. 

“Want me to carry you to bed? You can come sleep in mine if you want,” he offered through a crinkly-nosed smile. 

You grinned back at him, genuine at first, but it quickly turned melancholy. “Josh,” you said under your breath. “I’d love that, but I don’t think it’s good for us to share a bed anymore.”

His expression fell, face turning blank. He nodded at you, standing and giving you a disappointed smile. “Sleep well,” he wished, patting your shoulder again once before retreating to his room. 

You stayed on the couch for a while, your knees tucked up to your chest, as you sat in your guilt. You had known it was stupid of you to have ever let things turn anything other than platonic with him - it had been undeniably fun, but he was your roommate, for fuck’s sake. You had to see him every day, eat your meals with him. Had you not selfishly let yourself go there in the first place, you’d be cuddled up beside him tonight. 

It had been so lovely having any kind of affection - platonic or otherwise - that you let yourself get carried away. 

When you finally got up and went to bed, Josh’s light was still on, his door shut for one of the first times since you moved in. 

+++

Kate took you out for breakfast on Saturday morning to a local hole-in-the-wall that she swore had the very best pancakes she’d ever eaten. She had shown up in a puffer jacket that looked so warm, it made you jealous. 

You’d been chatting easily about your classes and the play, but when you had finished your first cup of coffee, there was a lull in the conversation. 

You hadn’t meant to say it, it just bubbled out. “I slept with Josh.”

She glanced up at you through her jet black lashes, stony-faced. “Yeah,” she replied, way too calm, sounding like she was wondering why you were even telling her.

You blinked at her for a moment. “Did you hear me? I had sex with Josh.”

She nodded. “Do you want me to pretend like I’m shocked?”

You grimaced at her, and in a whiny tone, responded, “Yes, please.”

A nervous laugh escaped her as she fixed her features to display a surprised expression. “You did what?!” she asked - purely for your benefit. 

You groaned at her. “Okay, I get it. I feel so bad about it, Kate.”

Her cherry lips shaped into a puzzled frown.  “Why?”

A deep sigh filled your ribcage - you had been hoping it would clear your head, but no luck. 

“Because I desperately miss being able to be platonically intimate with him and it not being awkward. Before this, I was sleeping in his bed from time to time when I got too cold and we would cuddle.”

“Why can’t you go back to that?” 

“Are you listening? I slept with him,” you groaned. “All I can think about is him on top of me now.”

She scoffed, her chipped nails tapping against her glass of diet Coke. “Imagine how he feels - Josh had real, honest to god feelings for you, I think. Like for a while.”

“You said that, but I don’t know. How do you know that he didn’t just want to sleep with me? Like not in a conscious way, but what if he just wanted affection? What then, Kate?”

She had one dark eyebrow raised at you as she sipped at her straw. “Because I know that’s not true.”

“How would you be able to know that? Because you see him sometimes at school-” 

She cut you off with a confident smile. “I know because I talked to Jake about it.”

You almost blew past it - that is until you realized what she had said. The two of you shared a long, silent moment as you stared at each other. 

“You’ve been talking to Jake?” you asked, trying to keep your tone even so she didn’t know how excited that made you. 

“I have talked to him in the past, yes. He said that he already knew, but he was able to pry it out of Josh when he was drunk once.” 

You stared at her. “Okay, there’s a lot to unpack here right now, I think we can both agree with that. But can we start with you and Jake?” 

She huffed a disbelieving laugh as she set her hand on yours on the table comfortingly like she was trying to cushion the news. “Josh has some feelings for you - the real kind.”

In an effort to prolong the moment that it was time for you to speak again, you picked up a bite of your breakfast and popped it in your mouth. The moment always comes though, no matter how long you try to put it off. 

“I can’t,” you said quietly, shaking your head in disappointment. Then when she prompted you with a confused look, you finished. “I can’t risk it. I mean, maybe there could be something there, but he’s my roommate. And my best friend - there’s no way I’d ever get lucky enough again to find someone I connected with like that if things went sour and I had to move out.”

She licked her lips absently. “My advice would be to think about it - for literally as long as you need to. I’m confident that you’ll figure out what you want.”

You nodded, not entirely convinced one way or another. “It’s hard because he’s so fucking cute,” you said in faux disgust. 

“And sweet,” she added. “Don’t forget that.”

You shot her an accusatory look. 

After a long pause, a smile found its way to your lips. “How cool would it be though if we were both dating one of them?” 

She laughed, picking a syrup-covered strawberry off her plate and chewing it with care. “Not me, I can’t be tamed. Jake is really hot and everything, but I got shit to do, you know?”

You scoffed at her. 

“I’m definitely keeping him in my contacts though,” she said with mischievous eyes. 

+++

 You didn’t directly see Josh for the rest of the weekend, though he left evidence of his presence scattered through the apartment. He had left his hair mousse out on the sink and the toothpaste cap off of its tube in the bathroom, some crumbs of a sandwich he packed for lunch in the kitchen, and a note on his bedroom door. 

Can you please feed Penny a couple of flakes for dinner? If you have any time today, I’d appreciate it if you could spend some of it with her. See you sometime soon! - J

You plucked the paper off the door where it was barely hanging by a thin strip of green floral tape and smiled as you read it again. 

His bedroom was dim, hid away from the sun by his closed blinds. The desk by his door was covered in books - textbooks, music books, books for his English lit class, and one you’d seen him reading for fun on more than one occasion. On the hardwood floor next to his bed was a stack of papers, and even though you knew you shouldn’t you crouched to peek through them. 

They appeared to be rough drafts of plans for the play - nothing too exciting, but they were charmingly eccentric. He had done little doodles of his ideas for sets and props, even a whole sheet of costume ideas that caught your eye. You pulled it from the messy stack and folded it into your pocket. 

Careful not to spill any water, you moved Penny in her globe to your bedside table, but as you stared at her through the glass you frowned. 

You pulled your phone out and snapped a picture of her, trying to make sure you got an accurate portrayal of her size. She looked at you, sticking her lips out of the water in search of food. You remembered Josh’s warning about overfeeding her the first day you’d met him and it brought a genuine smile to your lips. You promised her you’d be back, holding your finger just above the water and letting her press her mouth to it. 

On the ride over to Petsmart, you had called your mom, asking if it would be okay if you borrowed some cash, to which she agreed to after her usual line of questioning. When you pulled into the parking lot, you checked your bank account just to make sure it transferred okay, always nervous that you’d get to the register and your card would decline.

You spent longer than you should have reading articles online as you studied the tanks, all set up in rows for purchase. They weren’t as expensive as you’d expect a water-sealed glass box to be, and after you were confident you had picked the right one, you still had plenty left in your budget for the dressings. 

You picked a couple of fun decorations - a fake log for her to hide in if she wanted to and one that looked like part of a broken Greecian statue. The part that took you the longest was picking out the healthiest-looking plants. You had read that goldfish often like to eat live plants, but you couldn’t bring yourself to buy fake ones - the plant lover in you knew it was a cardinal sin. 

A very kind cashier agreed to help you carry your haul to your car, even helping you shift it all correctly so you could make it fit. You left him a secret tip, even though he denied at first, and thanked him profusely.

Getting the tank into the apartment was the hardest part. You realized just how lucky you were that you didn’t live above the first floor. 

By the time you got the tank situated back on his dresser, your muscles - especially in your legs - were protesting, but you weren’t done yet. You grabbed an empty ice cream pail and started to fill the tank, one trip at a time until it was about 3/4’s full of water. 

The decorations had to be shifted multiple times before you liked their position enough to start pouring in the gravel around them. A Youtube tutorial taught you exactly how much of each chemical to add and how to put together the filter, and then you left it to cycle as you returned to your room.

Perched on your bed, you pulled the sheet of costumes from your pocket and studied it. You pinned it to your corkboard. Undeniably, the cutest design he had come up with was for the door mouse - grey fabric, huge ears, and a rope tail. 

The rest of the unfinished costumes were in a cardboard box by the side of your bed - you hadn’t moved it anywhere because you knew you’d be back at it before too long at any given time. You bent down off the side of your bed and rummaged through the different fabrics until you found the one you were looking for - a grey-blue faux suede deal. You were pretty sure you had enough to make it work. 

You fished your phone out from where you had buried it under the covers when you shifted and called the one person that could help. 

“Hello?” Kate mumbled, sounding like you’d just woken her up despite it being noon. 

You giggled at her. “Hi, I’m playing my best friend card. I know you’ve helped so much, but can you please please come work on these costumes with me?”

She hummed and then went silent for a good, long moment. “Give me ten to wake up and get dressed.”

A beaming smile spread across your face. “Kate, I love you so much. I’m going to Venmo you money to get coffee and donuts, okay?”

“Hmm, I do like donuts.” She sounded pleased.

“Good! Bring Jake too.”

+++

The knock on your door came a half-hour later. You jumped from your bed, racing to let them in. Jake was dressed in the softest-looking flannel shirt you’d ever seen, a drink carrier in his hands that housed three drink cups. 

“Okay, so there are three jobs that need to be done. Measuring and marking, cutting, and sewing. If we each take one of those jobs, I’m confident we can finish a couple of the costumes today. I’ll let you guys pick first,” you informed as you lead them into your room. 

“I’ll take cutting,” Kate said, prompting Jake to reply that he’d like measuring. 

You handed Jake the notebook of measurements with a grin. “Rachel,” you started with a sneer. “Did a lot of the calculations for us, thank god. All you have to do is measure out the fabric. The tricky part is making sure you do it in a way that will leave enough fabric for the rest of the costumes.”

“Not a problem,” Jake responded with a smirk. “And I think her name is just ‘Rachel’, not ‘Rachel’.”

Kate shot him a look on your behalf. “I think she was just making a referencing the fact that Rachel left your brother with a huge ass list of things to do completely alone, not that she was jealous.”

“Jealous of what?” you asked accusatorily, a scowl painted on your face. 

Jake put both of his hands up in defense., but he didn’t appear apologetic in the slightest. Smugly, he said, “I’m just saying-”

Kate reached out and smacked his chest. “Jake, shut up. Okay, what one should we start on?”

“I’m going to have Jake start with this one.” You turned to the page in the notebook that showed the measurements for the door mouse, laying it out by him. “This is the main fabric. Kate, I have a lot of the Queen of Heart’s fabric measured and marked already, so I’ll have you start cutting that. There’s a lot of little pieces to that one.”

Kate looked at the six different fabrics you’d laid out for her, one eyebrow cocked at you. “Have you been getting any of your own homework done at all?”

Your cheeks flushed as you nervously rubbed at the back of your neck. “Let’s stay on track, shall we?” you replied, pretty much answering her question. “We’ve got one week until the production, and I know the costumes have to be done at least a day ahead of time.”

They both just stared at you in varying stages of disbelief. 

“Don’t look at me like that. We can do this,” you assured, sounding a hell of a lot more confident than you actually were. “Now let’s get to work.”

+++

When Josh got home, you were nearly sleeping on the couch, the remains of your current project in your lap. You peeked at the clock.

10:54 pm. 

“You’re home so late,” you whispered, for no particular reason. 

“I know,” he agreed, wiping his hand over his face after he took his jacket off. 

“Come sit with me a minute,” you requested, shifting so he would have space. He gave you a grateful smile, immediately crossing the room to do as he was told. 

After a moment, he cautiously wrapped an arm around your shoulders. “Is this okay?” he asked quietly. 

You gave him a smile. “Yeah, it’s perfect.”

You knew he must have been tired because he wasn’t talking a mile a minute like you were used to after not seeing him for long. 

“Are you hungry?” you asked.

He hummed, sounding like he was close to passing out. “I am, but I can make myself something.”

You scoffed, “Absolutely not. You got get into bed and I’ll bring something to you in a second.”

He reluctantly got up off the couch and clambered into his room. You waited patiently for him to notice the surprise, grinning to yourself when you heard him gasp. 

You listened as you made him a sandwich, and you couldn’t hear exactly what he was saying, but you knew he was talking to Penny just by the tone of his voice.

As you rounded the corner into his room, he turned and gave you a smile as bright as the sun. 

“Did you do this, or did Fish Santa come early?” he asked, his finger pressed against the glass of the tank. 

“Well, kind of both,” you responded through a laugh as you sat next to him on the bed and delivered his sandwich to his lap. “You can consider it your early Christmas present.”

He stared at you for a long beat, looking like he might cry. You knew you’d never be able to handle that, so you pulled him in for a hug, tightening your arms around him when he hugged you back. 

“You’ve been working so hard,” you whispered. “I miss my best friend.”

He turned his face, pressing his nose into your cheek in a move that felt a step or two farther than friends.

“I’ve put everything I have into this,” he admitted, and you were too scared to ask if he meant the play or something else. You sat like that with him for a long moment before he pulled away, giving you a thankful smile. 

“I’m sure you need time to decompress, so I’ll leave you be. Eat and then get some sleep, okay?” You stood and headed for the door, turning when he called your name. 

“Thank you,” he said.

[grogusmum]

I don't do much but change my calendar on New Years. My personal New Year celebration is Samhain.

But I would never pass up an opportunity to join others in taking stock, giving thanks, and sending good wishes for the future.

In a little more than a month I will be looking at my first anniversary of starting my blog on Tumblr. I will be reflecting further then, I am sure.

Today I hit a follower milestone, it is modest but I am SO thankful for everyone who has clicked that button, for whatever reason you did. I hope that you enjoy what I create (despite not a single one as been beta read- sorry) and reblog, and that you feel welcome to interact with me. 💚

This has been a year of extreme upheaval for me, it has not been bad necessarily, just hard and caused a lot of growing pains. I've had to say goodbye to things and people I would not have chosen to see go.

These things are what sent me to look for a place just for me, where I could find a little comfort in reading Mandalorian fics while I waited for season 3.

Well I got sucked into the Pedro fandom and am not sorry!

I've read fantastic fics and important issues to contemplate and self evaluate, look at beautiful art, laughed at hilarious jokes.

And yes read some crazy hot smut! Y'all are nasty (affectionate).

Then there are my mutuals, first, know that if you followed me after I followed you, it felt like I was getting bestowed a high honor! Every time like-

Obviously we interact to varying degrees but I am so so grateful for any and all interaction. You all rock my socks, and don't you forget it!!!

Okay now, let's get to the folx I interact with a lot, those that have been so sweet and loving. You all know who you are. You do, I am talking about you!!

But I am going to shout out a small handful who hold very special places in Moments in Hazel's History on Tumblr @jessie-writes-things read my first fic and gave me the courage to hit post. You are a sweetheart!! 💚 @oloreaa helped boost my fics when I was just starting, even though they were not her thing. 💚 @literallydontlook made fanart of my fanfic... WHAT?! IM STILL CRYING ABOUT IT!

There is an important someone not here anymore, Miley 💚💜 (@mylovelycomandante-deactivated2) she is thus far is unreachable, I hope she is safe and sound... Miley read my first fic giving her signature generous and enthusiastic praise and immediately asked me to tag her on any and all of my fics. She read every single thing I wrote, looked at every edit and drawing and always with loving praise. She even acted as my personal IT support! She was a ball of sunshine on tumblr, and tumblr is a dimmer place without her. I hope our paths cross again somehow. She was part of the Yearning Sisters, which brings me to fellow founding members @writeforfandoms a menace and purveyor of shenanigans and tomfoolery (giving me a nickname and everything!) and @insomniamamma a spitfire and instigator of 3 a.m. yearning!

I love you all to pieces! 💚

And then of course, my kindred @oonajaeadira writer of my first comfort fic, my first friend here, and first to breach the wall to meet IRL! I love you! Here's to a new year chocked full of more firsts! 💚 💛

Love, Hazel(nut) 💚 aka grogus mum

[washymylifeaway]

Haikyuu fanfic recs but they’re funny (to me LOL)

I made an angst pt 2 fic list (which is linked here), but while I was making it I thought screw this sad stuff. Time to make a meme post. So here are some fics that made me bust a lung (or something along the lines of that). Yeah some most of these are cp, but go read them again idc, they’re funny and that’s that. My sense of humor is a tad bit broken, so keep that in mind as you read these (cause if you don’t think they’re funny, you’re probably right but stupid things make me laugh hehe). Don’t judge me too hard LOL. Also some of these are more fluff or whatever just take it ahahahaha.

As per usual, pls check WARNINGS, TAGS, and SUMMARIES for each fic before reading (just to be safe cause they curse a lot LOL) and make sure you’re taking care of yourselves (since mental health is key!) Stay healthy loves <3

CP:

The SakuAtsu meme drabble fic CAUSE IT’S FUNNY /SakuAtsu/ it’s literal art. The creativity and skill that went into this,,, PLEASE if anything, just speed read it. I LOVE IT SO MUCH AHAHAHA.

Add New Contact by booksong (G) 8.5k /DaiSuga/ this one! It’s so cute and poor Daichi LOL. He really out here doing the most,,, Anyway, we love tech Suga, and a nice dash of snarky tsukki (LOL is he salt, yes yes he is). It’s very fluff and pine, so if you want to read Daichi having gay panic like 24/7, go right ahead LOL. 

Camellias by kiyala (T) 1.9k /KyouHaba/ I really love magic and their interactions are so cute and the PLANTS ARE DOING THE MOST. Pls read both in the series, cause domestic KyouHaba is best KyouHaba ngl LOL. I love the plants, and if you read the second one, someone tell the trees to stop bullying Yahaba.

This gets annoying fast, Makki by Ink_stained_quills (G) 2.3k /MatsuHana/ IM IN LOVE WITH THIS SERIES PLS I COULD NOT STOP CRYING TEARS OF LAUGHTER. This AU needs more fics PLEASE. It was SO freakin’ funny and the other teams KILLED ME. Like how they all approached the problem differently and how some of them (KUROO) asked for help LOL. Please this is so freaking funny go read it.

Sixth Time's the Charm by tsumekakusu (T) 2k /KyouHaba/ ok THIS was SO FREAKING funny, please Yahaba how dumb can you get LOL. The number thing made me facepalm so hard, but the ending was cute and that’s all that matters, right?

rated m for by orphan_account (T) 10.7k /MatsuHana/ I love this fic it made me laugh so much throughout the whole thing! The vibes in this fic are immaculate and give me life (we love a good reunion with mystery writers) please, it really is SO good!

Sleep by GangstaCrow (T) 5.5k /KyouHaba/ the plot twist.... omg.... I had to pause and take a moment of silence for the people suffering because of LL... Poor Kyoutani.....

The One With The Spies by hangoverhater /Multi (but mainly IwaOi)/ PLEASE,,, the fics in this series? HILARIOUS. THE SECOND FIC ”Well, this is a nice change of scenery.” “It’s a prison cell.” “I was being sarcastic.” HAD ME DYING. Poor Daichi, he really needs those days off :)))))

smiles like yours are hard to come by by bonnia (T) 1.9 /KuroKen/ I was so akjfkajsdnf this entire fic PLEASE the lines he used omfg. They’re such classics but I still reacted to each one WITH PASSION LFMAKJNAKNKA. This is such a keyboard smash fic (hence the keyboard smash) because I kept being like THE FLUFF IS TOO MUCH, but is it ever really enough? (dang am I a poet LMAO).

New:

take me to the limit, hold me down there by volchitsae (E) 3.8k /SakuAtsu/ I ADORE THIS FIC. LOVE LOVE LOVE it and the rate my teacher comments? HILARIOUS. It’s only explicit at the very end (cause of some ~spice~), so if you don’t want to read it cause it’s E, just don’t finish it (JK LOL BE SAFE).

THE WIENER SOLDIERS by damianwayne (T) 46.7k /MULTI/ literally it’s a texting fic. THESE ARE SO FUNNY. I really liked this one, and it made me laugh regularly. I love the Yahaba vs Shirabu agenda, and it’s just really chaotic so maybe that’s why I think it’s so funny LOL.

behavioural response of the msby black jackal to newfound independence: a study by miya osamu by spacedhowell (T) 11.4k /a mess/ THE WAY I CALLED IT. JFJKADKLAJHDFA this one is so funny and it just escalates. The situation just kept getting worse and I just kept laughing. This was just so chaotic, I loved it LOL.

a little bit funny, this feeling inside by postcanons (G) 5.4k /KyouHaba but also a mess LOL/ PLEASE THIS ONE omg crow matchmaker ftw. Like I said, I really love magic and this one is just so freaking funny. Also, very informational curtesy of one Kyoutani Kentarou.

bet on it by selenophim (T) 13.3k /SakuAtsu/ this is just one long drawn out joke and I love it. It’s so funny how NO ONE really expected it (and some betrayal by one Miya Osamu), and it’s just some comedic genius!!!

Clipped To You by littleboat (T) 8.1k /SakuAtsu/ okay first of all THERE’S ART, second I love Omi in hair clips <3333 It’s really funny with lots of ~pining~ Atsumu and there’s cameo’s of other players,,, it’s just a great time :D

meet me at the fucking pit (and let me hold your hand) by anyadisee (T) 5.4k /KyouHaba/ IF THE TITLE ISN’T MAKING YOU LAUGH ALREADY WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING????? (JK but am I really?) This was SO funny and it KILLED me,,, like all the conspiracies and how everyone was so seriously invested in it. Yes, CHAOS.

call me maybe by totooru (T) 33.6k /MatsuHana/ okay yea another (semi) chat fic,,, fight me. MatsuHana are just funny in general but throw some other characters (like Kuroo) into it and it turns into a comedy show. But the main point of this fic was like the near miss meetings and I think that the misunderstanding were hilarious (as much as I hate misunderstandings LOL).

This is it FOR NOW ;) If you want more, send an ask,,, I have more LOL. Also sorry for the sheer number of CP’s I did from my other posts teehee,,,, I was lazy okay? If you read my angst fic lists, read this to offset the sad. You need to,,,, a must not an option! Also, ignore the way I lean towards more of some ships than the others,,, fic writers just tend to make some ships funnier than the rest :’))))

[franeridart]

Anon said: Are you still into krbk? I noticed you haven't draw them a lot recently (I don't mean to pressure you, I was just wondering)

I still very much am!!! but a convergence of unrelated happenings (my focus being unusually scattered, lack of general motivation, them not having interacted much in the manga lately, my having pulled out of the fandom a little for a bunch of reasons, having gotten into a lot of new things I want to make a lot of stuff for ??) had my output of stuff for them/inspiration related to them die down a lot ): I miss them though, I should fill a page with doodles of them one of these days... well, I haven’t drawn much in genereal lately, so maybe let’s start first with fixing that haha

Anon said: Fun Fact : In smash bros ultimate there are spirits with octopath traveler and they're in pairs and guess what ? Alfyn and Therion are together :3

I KNOW!!!!!! It makes me so emo I’m a bundle of feelings they’re soulmates I tell youuuuuuuuuuu ;;A;; (little inconsequential things making me a mess, what’s new xD) - another fun fact is that h’aanit and ophilia share one too!! and I ship them too!! and cyrus and tressa share one as well, and they’re my brother’s mains in his save! A series of delightful little coincidences haha

Anon said: Will you be drawing more Jujutsu Kaisen? I love your art sm and I would love to see more!!!!

Right now I feel like I want to spend the next ten years drawing these kids, so I sure hope so! But as I said my focus has been very scattered for the past three or so months, so I can’t promise anything ): let’s both enjoy it while it lasts haha

Anon said: You are my emotional support artist. I check back every once and a while and BOOM. Serotonin.

You’re too kind!!!! But thank you, I’m glad I can make you feel better! :D

Anon said: i'm super new to your art (and mha) and i just wanted to say your krbk stuff is just !!!!!!! it makes me so happy and makes my poor jaded heart feel something and it's just all around incredible!!!

Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!! I’m glad you like my way of portraying the kids!!!!

Anon said: I’m about to cry I’ve spent an hour looking though your bnha tag for that lil comic where Kiri hugs Baku and. It. Sent. Me. Back. To. The. Top. I didn’t even get to finish reading it. I’m so upset. So. So. So. Upset.

(same) Anon said: OH MY GOSH IT KEEPS SENDING ME TO THE TOO I HATE MOBILE AND LOVE YOU I LVOE YOU BUT THIS WEBSITE IS K I L L I N G ME I JIST WANNA SEE WHAT HAPPENS AS KIRI ATTEMPTS TO HUG BAKUGOU BUT NOOOO, AN HOUR OF MY TIME ISNT ENOUGH SAYS THE TIME STEALER

(samesame) Anon said: I. Found the hug thing. On Pinterest. In. Five. Seconds. I hate life but also it was really cute. Thank you but seriously I hate this website

The saga hahaha sorry anon I couldn’t get to you before you went out of your mind trying to find it, I got the asks in the middle of the night! Glad you could find it, though I’m kinda sad you had to look on pinterest for it (...sad it is on pinterest at all tbh) here it is anyway, if this is the one you were talking about! you really went back in the years for this one huh

Anon said: So for that thing that you made a w h i l e ago where Bakugou ruffles Kirishima’s hair, right? So I imagine Kiri is like w h a t and calls over Mina or Denki or Sero or all of them or something like that and tells them and is freaking out and they’re like “he wasn’t in the right mindset, you know he sleeps at 8:32” and make a joke out of it as Kiri is freaking out. And Kiri is freaking out soooo much as they are crying laughing on the floor at Bakugou’s sleeping schedule.

hahaha I’m sure he must have freaked out on them at some point after that, and bakugou must have done the same (probably with jirou, less likely but more hilarious with todoroki or tokoyami haha) - though, the original idea came from a bigger one where the scene in the comic didn’t bring them anywhere closer to getting together (or figuring out they’re into each other, for the matter lmao idiots) maybe one day I’ll get back on that >:]

Anon said: In your comments, you said “at this point my hands will never forget” and I had a nozaki-kun memory float into my head, imagining him sick and trying to make his deadline xD yes muscle memory

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anon you have no idea how often I think about that hahaha yes, I say my hands won’t forget but we all know that’s exactly how it’ll end at some point lol

Anon said: dang this happens all the time like I follow someone for their bnha content and then like two months after following them I find out they used to make yowapeda content and im just sitting their like dang thats wild because bnha and yowapeda are like the only two animes I watch

ANON!!!! HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Always so nice to find other ywpd fans!!!!!!!! Sorry I’m not making art for it anymore (for now) but despite my sister insisting I read the manga already I’ve been putting it off......for years lol but it’s on my reading list!! So maybe I’ll get back on it at some point!

Anon said: FRAN!!!!!! i love ur art so much and im trying to buy ur products on redbubble and i geniunely cant decide what to get!!!!! i tired asking my friend but she doesnt know which one either hahahahhahah ig i just wanted to send this because i really appreciate u and u are very talented. im sending u lots of high vibrations and love❤️🧡

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!! It means so much to me that you guys are still buying my stuff (TTATT) I should...........seriously update it..........gomen m(._.)m

Anon said:YES YES YEEES MORE ALFYON ON THE WAYYYYYY 💖💖💖💖💖 They're both the cutest really their ship is the beeest  Try reading some the alfyon fanfics if you have some time, they're really good ! The one i really recommend you is Crismonberries, blackberries by court_court on Ao3 !Your art is the best ever can't wait to see more octopath !!💖💖💖

Anon thank you SO MUCH for suggesting that fic to me I!!!!!!!!!!!! loved it so much I deep-dived into it and spent two straight days reading it it’s such a gem!!!!! ;;; bless you

Anon said: Have you watched Fullmetal Alchemist?

Hell yeah! Only Brotherhood though. I read the manga too tho!!

Anon said: Have you read Noragami? It’s one of my favourite manga, and the anime isn’t half bad either (still waiting for s3 tho lol) anyway it’s really good, concept-wise it’s similar to Soul Eater, I totally recommend

I watched the first season back when it aired! It’s not really my thing though ): feels a bit sad in that very specific way that always ends up just making me miserable as I keep reading............................... sorry

Anon said: I will never not be in love with your art. Everytime I'm feeling down and/or missing the boys I scroll through your krbk tag and it reminds me exactly of why I love them so much and I'm so thankful for that. Your brand of krbks is the one I love the most and honestly thank you so much for all your marvelous art of them and of other things as well because you art is just so pretty and I love seeing your ocs and other fandom art 💕💕💕

Anon I love you......................... ;;;;; thank you so much, you have no idea how much this means to me (oTT^TT)o<3

[thewritingstar]

Beautiful Revelations

Pairing: Gruvia (I know its been a hot ass min)

Fandom: Fairy Tail 

tags: @shellielyzabeth @be-dazzled @nostalgicxslumber @unvalley @tigerfire54

Note: It has happened. I have written 200 fanfics and idk if I should be proud or slightly scared. (feel free to skip this omg why is it so long) 

I want to say thank you to everyone who has read, liked, reblogged or interacted with me in any way. I have always had a feeling that no matter what I write, I wouldn’t matter. But every comment and sweet note left made me realize that even if its just a smile or enough to make someone hit the like button, I made a small difference or added something to the fandom. Most of my fics are quick drabbles full of spelling mistakes, random thoughts and love for the characters. I know I don’t write very long stories or finish my wips (why are we surprised) but even though Im not someone people look to as a big author, each of you have made me feel special. There have been many times, this year especially that I had decided to give up writing. “Im not good enough and no one will even notice” Thats what I told myself if I decided to just back away. But every so often I would look and see that someone new or old had read my work. Every time someone reads something I wrote, I go back and read it too. I look at all the tags and see every comment and I stop and smile and remember how much joy it brought me when I first posted. 

When I first started writing, I thought that I wouldn’t have a place. Yet in a very short span of time, I was welcomed with open arms and people started to tune in regularly for my fics. I had been given many nicknames such as Gruvia goddess, angst queen, satan (yes I know the fic0 and well even Star. 

During my darkest moments, my mind lingered to my writing and to my internet friends. without hesitation I could message someone and feel better and be given the reassure I need. I can't even begin to say how much it means to me that people actually enjoy my writing and even me as a person. 

I thank each of you for giving me a joy that was considered a luxury at one point and allowing me to write whatever I wanted and you took it with love and made me happier than I have been in years. To all the people who made art or wrote me something, it means so much to me. 

Im not saying that this fic is my greatest but I think it has a special place because It shows the growth over time. 200 fics is a lot and whether or not they were all good, it doesn't matter because I did that and I can say that im proud. Im sorry for all that sappy shit but I wouldn't be where I am without you all. 

-Star <3 

ps: im not dying or stop writing fics im just happy lol 

---

  “There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a               heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.”

― Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever

---

It was the nights like these that she hated most. The cold would creep through the blankets and make her shiver as her eyelids hung heavy. She could be ready to rest, let the sweet dreams guide her but instead those dark intrusive thoughts toyed with her like a fly on a freshly woven web. They would sprout out of nowhere, tangled with thorns and hold her mind hostage as it injected its sickly venomized thoughts for the night.

She always wondered how she got this far. She was one of the highest members of Phantom Lord, her abilities had rarely been matched. If she desperately craved, she could walk down the hallways and strike fear into the other members, no one could touch her. Hierarchies became a custom here. Once you made it to the top after clawing your way with blood, sweat and probably more blood, you were a god. Yet she walked in and in the next few minutes she was at the table with the master, already receiving a promise that she was special, a delicate and useful ally for the guild.

Special. What a swollen lie that turned out to be.

Maybe that's why she never bothered to search for a light, something to cure the rain. For every life she had bruised or ended, she wanted to feel the pain that followed. She needed to know the consequence of her actions, to be held accountable for ruining another family or taking something from the innocent. Instead she was celebrated.

The days turned to months and she found herself years later not knowing what anything meant anymore. Life used to be black and white. She would walk the side of the kind and good and now she was treading through a swarm of a morally gray compound.

These restless nights, she loathed them but then again, suffering was something that came naturally to her. The only person to ever knock her down was herself.

She climbed out of bed, fuzzy slippers over her feet as she walked to the bathroom. Her headache had worsened and she stared into the mirror. She had looked at herself a thousand times but… have her eyes always been that blue? No, she was tired and her vision was fuzzy, she was fine. Cold water came to her hands as she turned on the facet and splashed her face. Everything was the same as it always was. Expect for today.

Her order was simple. Defeat whoever stood in her way and make sure the Phantom Lord got Lucy Heratfilia. Why did they want some mage? She didn’t know but she was never one to second guess her orders. To go against what she was told was a waste of time, she would have been dead by the end of the day if she did. She had once believed that they accepted her with open arms, that Phantom Lord truly cared about her well being. It was a lie. A bitter sweet lie she allowed to remain in her head.

Hundreds of opponents had come before her. She was accustomed to the way of a battle and had harnessed her skill at a young age. The pure power of the rain pushed her further. She had an unlimited amount of power around her, unlike others, they would run out of fuel. She began to crave that god-like power. Allow the storm to rage on, all she had was herself and the droplets that followed. She understood she was an outcast. Love was never an option, not for someone who brought gloom everywhere.

But this afternoon, fate was a funny thing. She walked onto that rooftop, winning was the only thing on her mind, but he was there. A man who didn’t back down, a man who saw her as an equal.

Her heart began to race. It was forgien and she wasn’t sure if she liked it. She had felt attraction before but this, this was different. Something as small as a single glance had already spun her mind into a muddled mess. It would have been better if she turned around, if he didn’t engage in the fight. Then maybe she wouldn’t be thinking of him like this.

Love at first sight. That wasn’t real. No one could possibly have that happen. What could drive someone's emotion so wild that they become attached to a person in such a short time? And yet it happened. He stood there waiting for the next move and she could only gaze at him with rose colored glasses.

An enemy. A traitor. That's what she would be if she dared to let him escape. She couldn’t hestatite, she never did and now she was frozen in her spot as ice magic danced around her. Peoples magic and abilities never intrigued her, but this, this was beyond anything she had seen.

The light reflecting off of the ice as her droplets froze before her eyes was breathtaking and she hardly noticed that she was losing the battle. She never thought rain could look, dare she say, beautiful? But in this state of its frozen glory, it was all she could think about. She envied those who never had to stay in the rain, a jealousy she didn’t want to admit had festered over the years and she gave up trying to despise the element. But before her was something much more than the state she was accustomed to. Ice. The solid purity of her own and she had wondered what it would be like to hold it in her hands.

She had water locked him, pulled out all of the stops and even with that, he stood again and again. He had screamed that the water was boiling, burning his skin but never before had the water gone above warm. It was usually ice cold on the tipping point of freezing but she could feel the warmth surrounding her.

It shocked her just the same. She had heard people talk about feeling the sun kiss their skin, the warmth spreading as they walked, this was the closest she had felt to that. This warm rush of water was beyond what she had known and yet even as it tinged her hands it felt good, it felt freeing, it felt right.

It burned in a way she had craved for so long. Something other than the fridgeness she had grown used too.

She stared at her reflection in her mirror, tears brimming her eyes. How could one person she just met bring her something she had never felt before? She shut the light out in the bathroom and walked back to her bed, passing her window, she stopped and turned.

Above in the sky was the moon. A soft white glow surrounded the orb that she had never seen before. It was breathtaking. A cosmic power the normal people of the world didn’t dare to worship now became a luxury. The sky was clear and she could see the stars, she could sense them all. How could she have lived her entire life never once seeing the moon and the sun? She had been cursed to live in the rain forever.

But he-he made it stop.

When he grabbed her arm, it was like time had stopped. As if everything she had ever known was washed away and all she could see was a bright light encasing him. She was content knowing her death was coming, there was hardly a reason for her to live. Perhaps she wasn't even living, just surviving day after gloomy day.

He pulled her to safety, her back against the roof as she panted heavily. Those clouds above her moved like a curtain for a show, parting just so that she could see the enchanting mystery she had always craved.  

She had never known a blue sky till then. The brightness was almost unbearable as she stared into a sky she had never known. So many emotions flooded her head but it was clear as those ice crystals that her heart was beating for him. She was his enemy, they made that clear from the start but he hadn’t hesitated to save her. He showed a mercy she had never come across.

Another tear fell as she sat on her bed.

“He saved Juvia.” She whispered to herself. A horrific thought came to her. Would she have saved him? She didn’t want to know the outcome because deep down she believed she was good. Beneath the surface of unremosle power, there was that scared little girl who never had anyone to care for her.

The amount of days she sat in that orphanage alone sewing her dolls and praying that the rain stopped one way or another, it was as if she couldn’t remember it. He had done the impossible. He showed her the sky she hadn’t seen. He had shown her kindness.

A thought came to mind as she stood and packed her things. No more would she be known as “the rain woman”. No more would gloom be her only trait. She was determined to find something much more appealing than those bowing by fear. She wanted love. She wanted that warmth of the water constantly and the feeling of the sun on her skin. She understood it now. There was a power strong than her, stronger than any wizard that surrounded the other guild.

She had vowed to be done with love. Promised herself that no man could hurt her again. She was trembling at the thought of being vulnerable once more. The only time she felt warmth was the scorching burn of a fiery rejection and words that burned like lava. It was too much for someone to handle. So she pushed it down, locked the key and threw it as far as she could. The temptation though. The idea of letting her guard down for someone, someone she barely knew? How she fantasized of that moment. She had once believed that someone of her past had done that, but they were all the same. Ashamed of the rain, the rain she caused, the pain she brought.

And after their fight when she collected herself and tried to run back towards her guild, he stopped her.

“For what it's worth I think you’re an incredible wizard. You may not want to believe that your guild is dark and bad but, Fairy Tail is always open.” He had said it with such sincerity that she wasn’t sure if it were true.

“Juvia thinks your magic is just as powerful.” She had said before he gave her a smile and turned away to go back to his other guild mates.

And here she stood, a suitcases packed in the night and a note left on the desk. This guild didn’t deserve any words. Not when they feasted on her ability. Harvested those negative emotions and almost made her fall into the deep end.

She knew what they would say. They would call her a coward. A traitor and a worthless wizard, at first it was enough to stop her. Make her stay and perhaps bring back the clouds. However what he said stuck in her mind.

“I would rather die fighting than let your guild have Lucy! She is one of us and we don’t leave anyone behind.”

Without hesitation he made it clear that every member of the guild was valued no matter how long they had been there, they were a family. If something like that would have happened, if she were threatened, her guild would let her die without a second thought.

Never again would she allow someone to have a hold over her. She spent too many years sheltered by pain and deviation to go on like that.

She grabbed her bag and closed her door.

--

Juvia stood in front of the door. The morning would be better to do this but it was beyond dark outside and she didn’t want her intrusive thoughts pulling her back to her old guild. Softly she knocked, maybe hoping that he wouldn’t hear it and force her back to the isolation of fear.

The open clicked open and her eyes widened slightly as a sleepy Gray leaned against the door frame, shirtless and rubbing his eyes.

“Juvia?” He blinked and watched as her cheek puffed out in red. He looked down to see that he was only in his underwear and let out a yelp as he grabbed a blanket off the chair. “What are you doing here?”

“Um Juvia thought.” She paused and looked towards the ground. “Actually Juvia apologies for disturbing you.” Her back was to him and she began to walk away.

“Wait!” His hand caught hers and he pulled slightly. A jolt of warmth spread through her, burning her like a thousand suns as well as the chill of ice from his own temperature. She looked back at him, eyes wide and lips parted. “Juvia, please just tell me.”

“Such kindness.” She whispered to herself. Her heart rate sped up just like it did earlier and she swallowed a breath. “Juvia was wondering…why did you save her?”

His hand dropped her as if he were shocked that she would dare question his action.

“I wasn’t going to let you die. Enemies or not, I don’t think you deserved that fate. I don’t believe that you are this evil person your guild made you out to be. To be honest when you fell, you look like you didn’t care what happened and I guess I saw myself in you.”

“You saved Juvia because you know what it's like?”

“To feel lost and hopeless I guess.” He scratched the back of his neck nervously. “Sometimes it's hard thinking you deserve to live, that it would be better to harbor all the pain of your past. I don’t know everything about you but that look in your eyes. I couldn’t let you go knowing that there was a brighter future ahead.”

A tear dripped from her eye. Her smile was soft as hugged her arms to her body. “You knew Juvia would join the guild.”

“Well I wouldn’t say I knew, but I was hoping that you would. If you still want to, that is.”

“Juvia would be honored.” She bowed respectfully towards him.

Gray smiled and bowed back. His eyes faced the sky looking towards the moon. “Have you ever seen it?”

“Tonight would be the first. Juvia thinks the stars are remarkable.”

“Lucy knows alot about them, I think you two would be good friends.”

Juvia shook her head as regret twisted in her stomach. “Juvia accepts your kindness and compassion but she doesn’t know if the rest will. Juvia was her rival, she understands if everyone doesn’t see her as a friend.” She frowned slightly.

A laugh came from the ice mage's mouth. “That's the thing about Fairy Tail, no matter where you come from or what your past may have held, there's always going to be a friend waiting.”

Juvia nodded. “Thank you Gray. Juvia will talk to your guild master tomorrow.”

“Like I said before. You’re an incredible wizard, you’ll be just fine.” He winked.

“Have a nice night.”

“You too.”

She watched as he entered his house before turning around and walking towards her hotel. Her shoulders felt lighter and she held her head high for the first time. This was her step in the right direction, this was where her new life began.

Time had slowed and allowed her to pause. A beautiful revelation she never knew could exist came to mind as she just realized that she was in love.

---

She looked down at her leg in the mirror. The voices behind her had faded to the background as she became entranced with the mark of Fairy Tail.

“The blue suits you.” She turned to see Gray standing there with a smile as he was focused on her guild mark.

To say that she was grateful was an understatement. Her mask she wore like a crown had shattered. It unravels in his hands as the months went on and all that was left was the person she wanted to be. She could finally let go of her ghosts, her darkness and begin to forgive herself.  

---

“What do you think?” He asked her as the white sky fell with snow.

Gray had told her of a special spot he used to go to when the first snow came. Past the forest was a clearing of grassy hills that would soon become a winter wonderland. Laid out on one of the hills was a blanket and a few lanterns.

She held her hand out and felt the tiny snowflakes collect on her hand. He sat behind her, one arm snaked around her waist while the other hand rose above hers and created a small flurry of snowflakes.

“Breathtaking.” She gushed. This was the first time she had seen snow fall. Her eyes followed the ice magic as it formed a heart and blew into the sky joining the other flurries. She turned so she could meet his eyes and his normal content face was replaced with a smile.

He leaned forward until their noses touched briefly. “Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?” He said and she only had a moment to process his words as his lips landed on hers and her eyes fluttered close.

Her hand went to his cheek as she leaned towards him, her energy matching his and all she could hear was the thumping of her heart. She would be embarrassed to say that she might have dreamt of this moment a little too much but it didn’t matter now. All she knew was that her beloved felt the same.

---

For once she was happy to hear a cry. That little whimper bubbling from the baby's mouth, her baby, she was in disbelief. Perfection was a rarity. No one was perfect, but the being with a tuft of dark blue hair and grey eyes would beg to differ. A child was never in her future. The thought came up randomly but the idea of raising a family wasn’t even a question.

During her missions in her old guild, she would walk past a family. She would see happy faces on everyone and would only be filled with envy and hatred. Disgusting was what it was. How could you love someone else when there was no love for you?

But times change. She would see others holding their child's hand and feel a warmth in her heart at how the children beamed up at their parents. She could sense the love all around them and would smile herself, hoping that it might become a reality for herself.

She would wake in the middle of the night, not from her demons but for her new reason to live. He would babble and tug at the locks of her hair and giggle when water magic danced before his young eyes.

---

It was nights like these that loved the most. The soft rays of moonlight casting shadows through her window as silk sheets wrapped around her bare form. She used to spend nights alone, only her pillow to catch her tears and now delicate fingers trail her backside as she listens to the thumping of his heart. His chest rises and falls as her own follows the rhythm. Her eyes flutter close as her tiredness grows untils it's interrupted by a cool press of lips under her ear.

A peaceful sigh leaves her lips as she tilts her head up to meet dark eyes gazing at her. Flushed cheeks was something she wore often and she lifted off of him to move further up and meet his lips with hers. He pulls her back to him, hating the emptiness between them and adores the way she shivers when his thumb traces her guild mark.

Their love was honest and raw. She had learned that nights like those in the past would haunt him as well. They would keep him up and plague his thoughts with images of death and destruction. But now, they lingered in the shadows, always there but something brighter and beautiful guarded them to peace and she focused on the way he breathed her name then the tears that dropped.

There was an overwhelming amount of happiness that she had gathered after all the years she spent in Fairy Tail. She found friendship and family bonds. Love in all forms that she cherished deeply. Her powers were seen as a gift to help others and lend a hand, not twisted into medled lies that she had spent so long untangling.

Her lips pulled from his slowly and their breaths settled between them. When she looked at Gray she found something more. She had freedom and rebirth. Forgiveness and lust wrapped into something more than love. Their bond was stronger than she could have ever dreamed and when he left kisses over her skin she wanted nothing more in life than to stay frozen in this moment.

He did the impossible. He opened a door, shined a light through her darkness and allowed her to accept the fact that she did deserve to live. She could cherish moments and keep them as her own without the threat of corruption. Her life was now her own to command and she did it with such grace and beauty that Gray couldn’t imagine her being any different. 

“I love you.” He promised and there was no doubt in her mind that he meant it.

“I love you too.” She responded.

The beautiful truth was that she was finally at peace and loved herself. 

---

I hope that you all enjoyed and thank you for being so lovely <3

[fushic0re]

The whole concept was so so good. The war, him being a ghost (and a good fucking looking ghost) and may i just say i hardly ever see asian reader and it warmed my hear to see that? I hopes its not odd to bring this but even though i'm not (im latinx) its not often i see fics with am asian reader disclaimed and im just really glad to see that? My heart is happy when i notice people getting or writing their own fics 🧡 not sure if it was important to mention but i thought of that upon just seeing the title and all.

Back to the plot, i cannot wait to hear more!! What will happen to reader!!

I completely understand as a fellow writer, thus is what we look for, engagement feedback and love. The reat sure feels nice and often times can be somethung needed but nothing compares to the praise and love from readers. It's hard to remind yourself at times that you write for no one else but yourself, surely is for me bevause we crave to hear what the people think of our craft. It's art. And every artist is worried despite doing it mostly for themselves! But don't give up! I may be new to your blog but im absolutrly joining in on the love!

Wow this was long , v sorry

thank you so much! the concept is one of my favorites that i have ever written bc it's so multilayered and steve's pain is decades in the making, so it's a wonder to write.

i love long asks don't worry hehe it means there's more to chat about!

as an asian woman who has spent her adolescence reading a bunch of fics that had white oc's, white faceclaims, and white coded reader inserts, i felt it was time for me to write for my community which are asian readers and woc readers. i think we can all relate to the feeling of not being seen in all types of media forms and if i can alleviate someone of that feeling from my work, then i will happily do so. the white women will be fine LMAO

one of my mutuals put it best and said that fic writers don't get paid in money, we get paid in interaction. personally while i do write "for myself" meaning that i write what i want to write when i want to write it, if it was truly and only for myself i wouldn't post it. creators put themselves on the line and deserve to see the fruits of their labor.