#i am tired of people saying they died because it's depressing

[inamindfarfaraway]

Actually, everyone couldn’t have died at the end of Black Friday, because then Peanuts the Hatchetfield pocket squirrel would have died too as he was in Papa Ed’s pocket. Remember the sacred law: if there’s an apocalypse, he’ll survive it. Next you’ll tell me he doesn’t like to nibble around in your pocket. Heathens. 

[hecksupremechips]

Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over

Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰

[male-body-swap-lover]

Becoming the Old Man Next Door

Carter Austin was annoyed that he had to be home for his parents 30th wedding anniversary. The model was only in town for one night, and even that was too much. He hated Fairview and missed the fast life of New York. The 28-year-old was one of the hottest models on the scene and couldn’t believe he was wasting his weekend in his childhood bedroom.

Hon, we are so excited that you are home. We’ve missed you.

You know how busy I’ve been mom. I’m one of the hottest models. I’m constantly booked.

I know. We told Mr. Jarvis that you were coming home and he was so excited to see you.

Mom, I’m 28. I don’t want to go see our old neighbor.

Oh, just do it Carter. It’ll make him happy. He’s lonely. His wife has been dead for 20 years and he has no children. Just do it.

Fine.

I went next door and rang the doorbell. Mr. Jarvis answered the door. I forgot how fat he was.

Austin my boy. So good to see you. Come in come in. Sit down. I’ll get you a drink.

As I sat in his living room, I looked around at his depressing life. The room seemed straight out of the 1970’s, and it reeked of tobacco. 15 minutes. That’s all I need.

Here’s a coke. So, tell me about New York.

It’s fun. I travel the world. I’m one of the top models out there.

I know. I’ve followed you. You are quite the good-looking young men. I bet ladies throw themselves at you.

I get my fair number of women. And men. I don’t discriminate.

I wish I had your life. My life was always boring. And it’s been worse ever since Marian died. I live a lonely life.

Well not everyone can have my life. This coke tastes weird.

That’s because it’s not coke at all. It’s a special potion. You see Carter, I’m tired of being an old man who never did anything with his life. I want a life in the fast lane. So, I am going to steal yours.

What. That’s not possible

I stand up and try to move, but I can’t. It’s like I am frozen in place.

Carter, look in the mirror. Can’t you see the changes have already begun.

As I stared into the mirror, I could see the wrinkles start appearing on my face. Suddenly I started breathing heavier as I felt myself get older. I ran my hands through my hair and it came out in chunks in my hand. I tried to run, to get out, but couldn’t move. My skin was aging. I could feel my youth leaving my body. Passing 30. All of my hair fell out. Passing 40. Stubble appeared on my face. Then it stopped. I looked in the mirror. Damn. I’m fucking old, but I’m fucking hot.

Haha old man. I’m still fucking hot. Look at me. Your plan failed.

You aren’t very smart are ya Carter. That was just step one.

Step one! I turned to him and saw that somehow his hair had grown back in and he looked middle aged. It’s like my hair and age went to him!

Yes, there are three steps. Let’s start step number two.

With that he clapped his hands and suddenly I felt bloated. My stomach was starting to rumble. I looked in the mirror and my face was bubbling. Suddenly it felt like I was blowing up like a balloon. 10, 20, 50, 100, 150, 200 pounds of fat just suddenly appeared on my body. For some reason as I grew, my clothes grew with me.

I was a whale. No one would ever recognize me. It was absolutely disgusting. I used to make fun of people who looked like this. Now I was one of them. I turned and looked at my captor. He looked good. He was so skinny. It’s like all of his weight transferred to my body! He was hot! I was so jealous. Wait he said this was step two, what was step three going to be?!

Damn, I never even looked this good when I used to be in my 40’s. This is amazing. I bet you are wondering about step three. Well, I suppose it’s time to start the final step. Get ready to say goodbye to any remaining part of your old life.

A wave suddenly washed over me. I could feel the life force draining from my body. My facial hair was turning white. My back pain was killing me. I could feel pain everywhere in my body. Arthritis. But I’m only 28. What is happening. I didn’t even think this was possible.

I’m Marvin Jarvis. Wait what! No I’m not Marvin… I’m um….i’m um. What is going on. It’s like I am losing my memories.

What are you doing to me. Why can’t I remember my name. Why do I think I’m you.

Because, Marvin, that’s part of step three. I become you and you become me. We might not look exactly the same, but the world will change to suit us. Why don’t you look at your license.

I could barely reach my wallet. I pulled out my driver’s license. It still said Carter Austin, and then it changed. Marvin Jarvis. 81 years old. 375 pounds. I looked at the photo and then at my reflection in the mirror. There was the same old man. Me!

You’ll never get away with this.

I already have. Your old memories will continue to slip away until you become Marvin Jarvis. Meanwhile, I’ll get your memories and live out my life again. A world-famous model. Carter Austin. My life is set.

Suddenly my mom entered the house.

Hello Marvin. I just came to get Carter. Dinner is ready.

I wanted to scream out. To tell my mom what happened. All that came out was “Of course Karen. It was lovely seeing Carter again. What a fine man he has become.”

Mom, I am just going to hug Mr. Jarvis goodbye and then I’ll be home.

Okay. See you soon honey. Goodbye Marvin.

The new Carter came and hugged me. Good luck Mr. Jarvis. You’ll need it. Don’t forget to take your heart pills, and back pills, and all the other pills. Don’t drive at night. Also, your social security check barely covers basic living expenses. Haha. Better get one last look at me. This is the last time you’ll see me. I’m never coming back to this hodunk town.

I started crying as the new Carter Austin left. He may not have looked exactly like me, but what does it matter. The world believes he is Carter and I am Marvin.

I sat down because my knees were giving out. I tried to remember everything about my old life, but I could feel it slipping away. I’m trapped. There is nothing I can do. You know what sounds good right now. A good pipe. I wonder if NCIS is on. 6:30pm. Almost time for bed. Well, maybe being an old man isn’t going to be so bad after all.

[luneengene2]

&Team 04 Line : Accidentally Hurt/Injure (Verbally or Physically) You During an Argument

• Warnings : Angst content, rant, contains grammatical errors

- Yuma Part : Death of parents, mentioning suicide, insult, mention of mental health

- Jo Part : insecurity, comparison, appearance insult

- Let me know if I'm missing something

• A/N : I don't know why I wanted to make this version for 04 Line after making the version for hyung-line. BTW, if you are sensitive about this, please don't read this content, don't leave malicious comments if you don't like this content. Because this is just story content that has nothing to do with the real world.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

• YUMA

(rockstar!yuma x fem!reader)

The sudden death of your parents was a nightmare you never expected to come true. Losing a parent is the same as losing light, the world seems pitch black. And you don't even have the energy to move.

Your parents died in a train accident, at that time you were on campus to start your annual practical exam.

If your brother Jo is not by your side, you might really not be sane anymore, because you would immediately experience severe depression and even hurt yourself. Not only Jo, there is one person who is always trying to make you survive. Your beloved lover, Nakakita Yuma.

Yuma is a rock star, he is famous, many girls are in love with him. However, Yuma chose you. A simple girl who always made him laugh. After the death of your parents, Yuma was always by your side whenever you needed him.

You tried to commit suicide several times, but Yuma always succeeded in calming you down. However, Yuma is also still an ordinary human. Sometimes, he has a tired side because he keeps seeing you not being able to control yourself. When he was tired or even at work, Jo suddenly often called him, telling him that you had hurt yourself. And like it or not, Yuma still comes to see you. In fact, he was also very tired and stressed because of his work.

"Eat it, Y/N. You have to eat," Yuma said patiently, he handed you a spoonful of rice. But you didn't respond to his words. Your eyes just stare blankly ahead. Blank. It's like there's no life there.

"I'm already here, but you still don't want to eat? Y/N, don't go on like this," No response again. Yuma took a deep breath, he had to stay calm when you were in a condition like this.

"Y/N-"

"Didn't I tell you I don't want to eat yet, Yuma?" You cut Yuma off before he told you to eat again. "Your therapist told you to eat, and Jo wants you to eat too. I want you to get better," Yuma said softly.

You chuckled when Yuma said that. "Get Better? I'm not sure I can recover after my parents are gone forever," You said, then your gaze went blank again.

"You won't recover if you continue like this, your parents will be sad there if their daughter continues like this," — Yuma

"If they're sad, I'm sadder here, Yuma. They just left me like that," — You

"This fate is bittersweet, Y/N. But I beg you, fight your bitter fate and try to get up," — Yuma

"You keep saying that, Yuma. You don't understand how it is to be in my position, how tired I am when fate keeps beating me over and over again. I don't understand why people just keep saying that and telling me to get up and let it go. Doing that is not as easy as turning your palm. I always get those useless words, which still make me not enthusiastic about living," You said that because you were provoked by emotion, the sadness was getting sharper, and also because you were tired. You were 'less' conscious when you said that.

However, Yuma actually lost his patience, his facial expression immediately changed completely to become angry and unfriendly. He places your tablespoon roughly on the plate. Put the plate on your nightstand until it makes quite a loud sound.

"Then what kind of words do you want to be useful for you, Princess?" Yuma asked sarcastically, he clenched his wrist. "You think the world really has to pivot towards you? Do you want everyone to always be useful to you? So, you think everyone who supports you with words is useless? Not everyone is obliged to understand your position, because you don't necessarily understand other people's positions. Many people sacrifice their time to entertain you, including me! Right now my schedule is busy, I'm stressed. And when Jo called that you were hurting yourself, I was immediately stressed too. I'm tired too, Y/N. Tired of seeing you don't change and you even say things like that. So you've been saying I'm useless all this time?" Yuma asked annoyed, you realized your mistake, not daring to look at Yuma. You even crumpled the blanket that was on top of you.

"Just so you know, I sacrificed my time and career hours so I could accompany you. Imagine you are in my position, when you are tired from work, Your brother called me that you were doing something that was hurting yourself. I'm always stressed and worried when I hear the news, not to mention the sharp demands of my job. And you can easily say that my words are useless. Are you hungry for attention? Do you just want validation, pity? Many girls are in your position but not as dramatic as you. Next time, when Jo calls me again, I don't want to have anything to do with an insane girl like you again until you are completely healed," Yuma said harshly at the end of the sentence. He was tired, and his tiredness was already at a terrible stage. And if he is in that position, his emotions will overflow, and sometimes he will say harsh words beyond his control.

"I apologize on Y/N's behalf, Yuma," Hearing Jo's voice, Yuma immediately looked towards the door. He saw Jo standing in front of your bedroom door. He didn't realize Jo was already there, when you also looked emotional and angry earlier. Yuma could see the look in Jo's eyes, disappointed, angry and sad. In that instant, Yuma immediately realized what he had said to you.

Jo entered your room, walking towards Yuma, giving him a bitter smile. "I'm sorry if Y/N and I have been a bother to you after the death of our parents. Sorry if Y/N makes you worried and stressed, forgive her too because she always bothers you. Next time, I really won't bother you," Jo said softly. He was quite hurt because his sister was called insane by Yuma, but he didn't blame Yuma. Jo also immediately understood what Yuma's condition was like.

Yuma immediately shook his head in panic. "Jo, I didn't mean it like—"

"I understand your position, there's no need to be afraid or feel guilty," Jo cut slowly but sharply. Yuma became increasingly panicked seeing Jo's calm expression, but Yuma knew that behind Jo's calm expression, the man must be hiding sadness.

Yuma looked at you who were already flooded with tears, from squeezing your hands into the blanket it was clear that you wanted to scream, and it definitely hurt. "Y/N, don't listen to what I said just now, darling. Please don't take my words to heart, I beg you. I didn't mean to hurt you. I really don't understand your position, darling. You didn't do anything wrong, I'm in the wrong here," Before Yuma touched you, Jo pulled him away slowly, still smiling. "It's time for you to rest and go home, I know you are very tired after facing my sister again, go home, Yuma. Calm your mind, you need to rest," Jo said softly, but Yuma really didn't want to leave you. "Jo, you can be mad at me, but—"

"I'm not mad at you, I understand your position now. Y/N and I have been giving you trouble all this time," Yuma shook his head, he tried to reverse Jo's belief, that he didn't feel in trouble, but it seemed like Jo didn't want to cause Yuma any more trouble.

"Jo—"

"Go home, Yuma. Y/N also needs rest, it's almost late at night, you have a stage schedule tomorrow, right?" Jo cut in again, and Yuma knew, it seemed like Jo was 'throwing him away' subtly so he wouldn't feel even more guilty.

Yuma lost, he sighed then took his bag. Before completely leaving in front of you and Jo, Yuma stroked your hair and then gave your head a long kiss.

As he entered his car, he cursed harshly several times and got angry at himself for not being able to control his emotions in front of you. Moreover, he uttered insults that were not appropriate.

• JO

(Basketball player!Jo x Nerd!fem!reader)

"Why did you have to be the representative for the photo shoot, Jo?" You looked at Jo sadly when he was just busy playing basketball. You and him were on the basketball court which was relatively quiet, because Jo didn't want to go home from there yet.

"Yeah, because I'm the captain of my team," Jo said lightly.

"But doesn't it have to be the captain?" — You

"Yes, but my coach chose me." — Jo

"But you can refuse," — You

"I can't refuse my coach," — Jo

"But it hurts me," Jo let out a rough breath when you said that, he turned around to look at you. "It's just a photo shoot, Y/N. There's nothing to worry about," Jo said which made you even sadder, you smiled faintly at him. "This photo shoot for the school sports magazine certainly worries me. You know, the cheerleading captain who will be photographed with you is one of the girls who has a big crush on you. She's also the girl who doesn't like me because I'm dating you," Jo rubbed his face roughly, because you were always sensitive when he was close to lots of girls, whether it was just for a project or something else. "It's just a photo, Y/N! No more than that, don't overdo it like that," Jo said, he was starting to look annoyed at your behavior.

"Yeah, photos that can hurt my feelings! You always don't understand how I feel," You said vehemently. Jo slammed the basketball roughly. "You always act childish when I only have projects with girls. Come on, Y/N! Try to understand my position too!" Jo growled in frustration, but you also got emotional. "Not just photos, but any means he can find to get you. I'm not stupid, all the girls love you openly, they flirt with you even though they know you're my boyfriend!" You shouted harshly at Jo. "Oh or are you happy because you can deal with beautiful girls, you're bored with me, right?" You continued, and it ended up leading to words that he was completely unaware of.

"Yes! I enjoy dealing with beautiful girls?! Yes, I'm bored with you, that's why I always enjoy dealing with beautiful girls!" Jo responded to your scream no less harshly. You also jumped in surprise when he shouted at you with words that quite hurt you. "You should be self-aware, if you want to be in the position of a girl who can be with me without fear or insecurity, you should change yourself! Don't remain static as a nerd girl who can only be blindly jealous but can't change herself one bit!" Jo continued sharply, hie mouth completely unknown to him because he was saying words that you shouldn't have heard.

"Be beautiful if you want to be like them! You can't get into cheerleading extracurriculars, and you're just complaining. Not trying to change! I also wonder why I could fall in love with you, crazy about you. Even though there are many girls who are more beautiful than you," Jo's last words succeeded in breaking your heart. And you start to feel like you should have rejected him when he asked you out. You don't think about the risks of what he might say if he's emotional. You also feel that what Jo said is also true. You should change yourself, not just complain and complain about your insecurities.

Jo, who was still annoyed, immediately took his bag, he was about to leave you out of the field. "Do you want our relationship to end, Jo?" You asked in a shaky voice as he walked quickly after bumping into your shoulder. Jo immediately stiffened when he heard your hoarse voice. This is the first time he's heard your voice this strained.

He looked over at you who just stood there, your eyes bloodshot, holding back the tears that were really about to come out. And for the first time too, he saw your eyes look this broken.

"If I really can't meet your standards, let's just end this relationship. Find another girl of your dreams," You continued what you were saying. You said that with fear, afraid that he was really bored and didn't love you anymore.

"You can date any girl, any girl who meets your standards. I just don't want to ruin your youth anymore because of dealing with a girl like me," In that instant, Jo immediately seemed to have been hit by a stupid word. He doesn't realize and doesn't understand that you are the one who is hurt the most here, not him.

"No, Y/N. Don't say that, my dream is with you," Jo said frantically. He walked quickly over to you, when he was near you again. He pulled you into his arms, you wanted to struggle, but the more you struggled, the stronger his hug became. As a result, you just cried loudly in his arms, screaming angrily several times, but Jo didn't care about that.

"You didn't ruin my youth, I almost ruined my dreams myself. Please forgive me. You're right, I never understood your condition and pain," Jo's tears also flowed quite fast. He's afraid, afraid that his dreams will disappear if you leave. Because, his dream is with you, not with another girl.

"Please, don't leave me. I need you more than anything, I will give you what you should get," Jo said hoarsely, she placed a soft kiss on your forehead, not caring that you were sweaty from crying.

[mikeandikeschmidt]

FNAFMovie!Incorrect Quotes: Part Four

WILLIAM, as Steve Raglan: You're clearly not listening. I can say whatever I want, can't I?

MIKE, half asleep: Tell me about it.

WILLIAM: I murdered another kid last night.

MIKE: I feel you.

WILLIAM: Now I have the taste of blood, I can't stop killing.

MIKE, yawning: Been there

***

MIKE: If I seem intense, that's for one reason and one reason only, okay? I don't wanna be here and I'm really sad.

***

VANESSA: Why is Barbie's the Nutcracker the only good film adaptation of the ballet that has ever been made?

MIKE, who’s been around Abby too long: Because Barbie movies slap, next question.

***

WILLIAM: it's time for you to die.

ABBY: One sec, let me ask my brother

WILLIAM: It's not a choi--

ABBY: Mike said no.

***

MIKE: I did what I could, you know, while I was also trying not to bleed to death.

***

WILLIAM: I will ruin your happiness, no matter the cost!

MIKE: My happiness?

MIKE, turning to Vanessa: I'm happy?

***

ABBY: You wanna see how hardcore I am?

ABBY: *punches wall*

ABBY:

ABBY: Take me to the hospital.

***

MIKE: Well, well, well. If it isn’t my old friend...the dawning realization that I messed up bad.

***

MRS. AFTON: Hey, it's your turn to wash dishes.

WILLIAM: I'LL WASH THE WALLS RED WITH YOUR BLOOD

MRS. AFTON: 'Kay, but before that, wash the dishes. Also, use soap this time?

***

WILLIAM, a career counselor: Look, I would like to give you moral advice, but I have very questionable morals.

***

MIKE: You're my little sister and the most important thing in the world to me. I would do anything for you.

ABBY: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

MIKE: Absolutely not.

***

MIKE: What doesn't kill me should run, because now I'm ticked off

***

MIKE: You saved me. I owe you my life.

VANESSA: No, thanks. I’ve seen it and I’m not very impressed.

***

WILLIAM, first interviewing Mike: You look familiar. Have I killed one of your loved ones before?

***

MIKE: Fool me once, I’m gonna kill you

***

MIKE: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?

WILLIAM: You mean literally or figuratively?

MIKE: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...

***

WILLIAM: 'Person of interest' is almost too flattering.

WILLIAM: Like, if the police were to pound on my door and go, 'Someone has been murdered in your building and you are a person of interest,' I'd be like, 'Moi? Oh, do go on.'

***

VANESSA: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.

MIKE: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

***

MIKE: People are always asking me if I'm a morning person or a night person. And I'm just like, 'Buddy! I'm barely even a PERSON!'

***

ABBY: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside

MIKE:

MIKE: Abby, I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn...

ABBY: *Sips chocolate milk from bowl*

***

MIKE: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.

(This can apply to both the movie and the game)

***

VANESSA: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.

MIKE, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

***

MIKE: Okay, maybe playing, "Whose family is more dysfunctional" was a bad idea. Vanessa's sobbing in the bathroom now. We can't get her out.

***

MIKE: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so let's go for 12 more just incase.

VANESSA: Mike, that's a coma.

MIKE: Sounds festive.

***

VANESSA: Don’t worry, I know exactly what I’m doing. Everything is going to be fine!

MIKE: How can you still say that?

VANESSA: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

***

WILLIAM: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-

VANESSA: Twelve, actually.

WILLIAM: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really, whose fault is that?

VANESSA: Yours!

WILLIAM: That's right: no one's.

***

[Mike is the only one raising Abby after his dad’s depressed and his mom lost it]

MIKE: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.

Mike’s Dad: You're, like, 15 years old

MIKE: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!

***

WILLIAM, sitting with his back turned: I’ve been expecting you, Michael

MIKE: How did you do that without turning around?

WILLIAM: ...To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.

***

[The career counselor scene]

MIKE, explaining why he's gone through so many jobs: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.

WILLIAM: Mike, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're stupid

***

MIKE, banging on the door: Vanessa! Open up!

VANESSA: Well, it all started when I was a kid...

MIKE: No, I meant--

ABBY: Let her finish.

***

[szollibisz]

do u have any HCs abt mama mega and Curt and Tatiana… they are SO important to me as a little family

yessss i love them dearly <3

Tatiana is one of those people who don't like making a huge deal out of their birthdays, but Curt knows Mrs. Mega would absolutely go overboard in celebrating it. So him and Tati keep saying random dates hoping she'll forget them eventually (both of them feel kind of bad about it, but not enough to not do it) But Mrs. Mega catches on, and one day calls them out on it and they just both end up sitting there like little kids getting scolded by their mom. When they come clean about why they did it, Mrs. Mega tells them that they should've just told her. She still ends up making Tatiana's birthdays a bigger deal than she wants them to, but she is toned down compared to herself. She also wishes her a happy bday on all the fake dates they gave her, just to remind them.

Curt and Tatiana are generally pretty physically affectionate with each other, but keep that to a minimum when Mrs. Mega is around in fear that she will marry them right then and there.

Tatiana isn't used to good food, she'll honestly just eat whatever is in front of her. She also has a habit of not reheating leftovers if she's tired, and sometimes either Curt or his mom catch her eating cold 3 days old leftovers and they both have the exact same disapproving expression.

Mrs. Mega is a super active member of basically any elderly club in the area, be that bingo, dancing, knitting etc. Which comes with a lot of drama. Whenever she gets back from a controversy-filled day, she always tells Curt and Tatiana in detail. At first Curt thinks it's really embarrassing, but seeing how Tatiana is amused, he also starts to get into it. Like Really into it. That guy would be soooo bitchy and gossipy if he actually had a social life. In the end the 3 of them just gossip about elderly ladies and their affairs over dinner every time they get together.

If Tatiana's mom and Mrs. Mega met they would instantly become besties, but they would also argue every 2 seconds.

Tatiana sleeps the most calmly when she's in the safehouse. It was one of the first places she truly felt safe and relaxed in after being on the run for so long, and that feeling never went away. Also Mrs. Mega absolutely has 500 blankets and pillows in that house, so it's kind of impossible to not sleep super cozily. Plus Tati has her personal space heater (Curt) if the blankets don't suffice

Speaking of heat, Tati has pretty bad tolerance for it, so she doesn't really visit Guadalupe during the summer

Curt and Tatiana have a lot of mental issues due to all the violence they've done witnessed and endured. After Owen "died" Curt didn't have anyone who understood that aspect of his life. And for Tatiana, some other girls she was trained alongside with were genuinely her friends, but after she escaped she really couldn't contact anyone she knew, nor make civil friends, lest she puts them in danger. So they are super important to each other when dealing with extended effects of espionage™. Comforting each other, keeping Curt out of his depressive spirals, and helping Tatiana adjust to a normal life.

Tatiana, growing up in the soviet union, is not used to a lot of the new modern stuff in the us. She reads a lot of magazines and tells Curt to buy himself whatever caught her eyes that day. He has to tell her that no, he's not getting a second washing machine or a second fridge, just because it's "really cool"

IIIiiiiiii could go on, but I am tired, so I won't. Hope you like these.

[starlightandfairies]

Drinking Buddies ~Damon Salvatore~

Description: Damon and reader share stories over a couple of drinks.

Warnings: she/her pronouns, fluff, angst, mentions of drinking, writing gets lazy at the end

Key: Y/N = Your Name, POV = Point of view

Word Count: 729

First Person POV

"So, I see a closed bar is where all buried guilt-ridden people come." I rolled my eyes once I heard his voice, it was not the voice I wanted to hear in this moment and I could practically feel his smirk radiating in the room. 

"Damon. Pleasure to see you again." I spoke, putting the glass of bourbon to my lips, placed it on the bar counter and swivelled around to face the cocky vampire. 

"What guilt is eating at you?" 

"I thought you said I have buried guilt? I have no guilt..." I denied, pouring myself another drink and pouring one for Damon as well. He took the glass, sitting beside me, clinking his glass with me and forced me to stare at him. 

"That is what guilt-ridden people do who hide their pain, we deflect." 

"This is talking from experience, yeah?" I taunted, raising an eyebrow as Damon chuckled lowly, the man made a face and waited to hear how he would deny what I said. 

"Oh, yeah... I am talking from experience." I looked at Damon surprised, I didn't expect him to admit that, he smirked once again and pulled my chair closer to him. 

"What? Didn't expect me to admit to that?" 

"No, I didn't but good on you, Damon you're growing as an immortal person." 

"Come on, talk to me, I'm a great listener when I want to be. I know I don't make it seem like it's true but I do care and you don't seem like you're enjoying yourself. So what happened?" I took a breath, shrugging slightly and made a sound as Damon took the glass from my hand.

"You don't get this back until you talk, so talk." 

"Fine, Damon... with everything going on, it's just hard to adjust to sometimes. I feel like I'm still in shock at times, like when do we get a break? When is someone not dying? I'm so sick and tired of all of this. I hate it. As much as I love all this supernatural crap that exists, there are times when I wish I didn't know so I didn't have this guilt on my shoulders knowing that so many people have died because of the baddies we deal with or people are dead because we had to kill them to survive." 

He passed me back my glass, rubbing my shoulder, as I took a drink and seemed to be trying to formulate a plan to offer some kind of comfort. 

"Look, I'll be honest, there are times when I wish the same. I wonder what my life would've been like if I hadn't met Katherine and if I hadn't become this but then despite the years of terrible things I have done. I got to meet the wonderful person that is right in front of me. So I don't know about you but I think that's a pretty good outcome." 

I was speechless for a moment, I couldn't hide the smile that he managed to conjure up.

"Thank you, that's nice of you to say." 

"Have you ever considered being a vampire?" Damon asked, I shrugged my shoulders for a brief moment, already knowing the answer before he even asked it. 

"I would want to be a vampire." I simply smiled but Damon could read the underlining statement hanging in the air. 

"But you want to have a kid." 

"Yeah, but there's always adoption if I become a vampire first." 

"Nice way to look at it." 

I couldn't take the depressing conversations any longer, I hopped over the counter and grabbed Damon's favourite bourbon and mine as well. I yelped as I crashed into Damon's chest as he suddenly appeared in front of me. 

"What can I do for you?" 

"Go on a date with me." 

"Can this not be our date right now?" 

"It certainly can be." We shared stories over drinks; Damon told me the adventures of different timelines, how he's watched the world evolve but stay the same at the same time. It was nice being able to see Damon's softer side away from everything that we constantly go through and I do hope to see more across future dates. 

[demvalhaken]

I will eat your house

HOLY SHIT I HAVENT POSTED IN LIKE 4 DAYS, SORYY GUYS IVE BEEN FOCUSED ON SCHOOL, I HAVE TO GET A VIOLIN PLAYING VIDEO IN BY FRIDAY AND I CANT EVEN PLAY THAT WELL DUDES!!! PRAY FOR ME GUYS, I CANT EVEN GET MY HOMEWORK DONE, I NEED TO STOP PROCRASTINATING!!!

Anyways Queen Bloodlust is a very large black widow cus her immortality causes her to never stop aging/growing… She used to be Divine’s height

Oh yeah if you didn’t read the older post about Bloodlust which is also buried in the termite post. Divine (Guy at the bottom right) is her great-great-great-fucking too many great grandson, he’s king of the spiders, they do not care if its a king or a queen, they are desperate

I’m like the hugest nerd ever, I watched an in depth video about cannibalism and then I proceeded to eat all of that information so I can babble to my friends that don’t even listen to me… I wish I could talk to people rather than somehow ruining my relationship with everyone, it’s giving Never Love an Anchor by The Crane Wives. There’s also like 100 Tyler, The Creator songs in my playlist, there’s a 50% chance after every song that it’s Tyler. It’s crazy how good I am at being lonely, like bro, why can’t I keep friends with me without doing something wrong… at least my teachers are nice to me :D

Wtf am I on, please don’t give me coffee, It brings the locked up depression out of my brain. I actually don’t think the depression left from Covid… I think it’s just been dormant… GUYS THIS MIGHT BE A HUNCH BUT I THINK IM NOT OKAY!!! Sorry if I go off track in literally every single post, my brain wanders too much. MY HANDS ARE SO FUCKING DRY, THEY BURN, THEY HURT, AND THEY ARE BLEEDING :( I’m still gonna wash my hands 40 times a day, no one can stop me

STOP YAPPING BRO THATS TWO PARAGRAPHS GET TO THE LORE

Queen Bloodlust misses her home because after a battle/war, they had to move, this was during the reign of Bloodlust’s mother, her mom died in the fight… poor Bloodlust, forced to live eternally and watch everyone around her perish slowly

All lore previously stated is subject to change as I’m always rethinking lore but it does stay fairly consistent and rarely changed unless its boring and bothering me

Okay love you guys, sorry for yapping, also be a menace to society, just don’t eat uranium

Edit:

Hehe reference, this was during the drawing, I got bored

Edit 2: Why are my parents always mad at me for washing myself constantly, like bitch what? You can’t just say “stop” and expect that one word to work, I’m just trying to keep some goddamn cleanliness! It’s like they want me to be covered in grime, dirt, spilled drinks, and grossness! Then they get to be homophobic and racist without any consequences when that’s literally worse than being clean 24/7 and tired. At least I actually like black people, we literally all have the same insides, stfu parents… ALSO THEY SAY THAT OFFENSIVE WORD, LIKE BRO WE ARE VAMPIRES YOU CANT BE SAYING THAT

[lemonavocado]

i have many many thoughts about the portrayal of elizabeth (and henry) in adaptations of frankenstein and they need to be broadcasted immediately. feverish incoherent raving about this subject under the cut. tw for very brief mention of SA

so. elizabeth lavenza. by the time of the wedding, elizabeth is rather obviously portrayed to be just as morose and brooding as victor is, she just isn't as susceptible to episodes of mania and psychosis so it doesn't seem nearly as dramatic compared to victor's trauma. she's been through the gutter herself, being an orphan for starters, then being adopted into a family and having to assume the role of caregiver in the frankenstein family because of the coercion of her dead mother to not only take her place as the maternal figure in the family but also marry her surrogate brother (or literal cousin, depending on which version you read). then her surrogate younger brother william dies, and the within weeks she has to watch her closest heterosexual life partner justine be unjustly hung by a corrupt justice system. and she vocalizes, actively, her pessimism and hopelessness in light of these many tragedies. tldr she's fucked up and rightfully so, and while she's a little less crippled by depression than victor, she still has the distinct appearance of being rather ill, listless, and tired, especially towards the end of the novel. anyways my point is in the novel, the most important thing about elizabeth is not that she's a woman and victor's bride. yes, that's obviously the purpose she was created for, but shelley went out of her way to give elizabeth an extremely definite and unique character. she's gentle and maternal like most woman in early 19th century literature, but she's also introspective, intelligent, and perceptive. she displays agency and self-awareness repeatedly (her guilt over the locket, going to the execution of justine even when alphonse tells her not to, waxing poetic on the failures of the justice system, asking repeatedly and rather pointedly if victor actually wants to go through with the marriage, obvious anxiety and solemnity concerning the wedding) we also have to take into account that elizabeth's personality is being relayed to us BY VICTOR, and he wants to see elizabeth as docile and femininely passive, even if a lot of her actions themselves in the novel actually seem to contradict that. also, i am peppering in that many people can (and have) made a genuine and convincing argument that victor and elizabeth are not in love and were groomed to accept their union by their weirdo parents - that they care for each other, but the text includes important nuances that make it evident that victor doesn't feel anything for elizabeth like that. it is a legitimate interpretation of the book - dare i say it's the correct interpretation of the relationship between victor and elizabeth. but that's another essay for another day and it's not SUPER integral to my rant here today. it just highlights the complexity of elizabeth as a character.

so. for some fucking reason, writers do not understand this when they are adapting the novel, and do not want to apply more than eight seconds of critical thinking and the absolute shallowest 3rd grader levels of reading comprehension to this character, so they simplify her from what she was in the original novel, freshly complex, opinionated, and introspective to boring useless incest lady. victor is never portrayed with the same amount of nuance he deserves in any adaptation (also another essay for another day), because adaptations also have a very surface level reading of him as "guy who was ambitious and played god which immediately cements him as an irredeemable self-aggrandizing asshole and/or a raging insufferable narcissist who's a dick to everyone around him EXCEPT for elizabeth" but at least SOME adaptations are able to kiiinnnddaaaa capture the sympathy meant to be felt for the character in the novel. not so for elizabeth. her character in basically every adaptation can be boiled down to this: "omg victor my brother let me hammer in that you are my brother. im just going to stand here and look clueless and annoyingly naive for the entire time im on screen/stage. im just a little girl and idk what's going on victor but im gonna stay blindly devoted to you and ask numerous but completely useless questions 🥺 let me stare at you with tender worry in my eyes and treat you like a child even though we have absolutely no romantic chemistry and you're an objectifying dick towards me and we have nothing in common and the audience is actively dry heaving as we sensually make out for no other reason than to have characters in this movie sensually make out. im basically a carbon copy of original-novel-henry expect super boring and super useless because im a woman which means the doylist explanation for why im here HAS TO BE ONLY for the main character to fuck me and to hold the attention of the male viewership. now time for me to get SA'd by the creechur for basically no reason" we can observe something approximating this in basically every frankenstein adaptation i've ever seen: kenneth branagh's (my enemy) 1994 film, the 2004 hallmark miniseries, the musical, and the ballet. also in the 1931 film, but that one isn't really trying to be book-accurate so it doesn't really count for this rant.

with this understanding of elizabeth, writers then attempt to artificially generate more romance between these characters, mostly by, yes, replacing a lot of henry's role in the novel with elizabeth, hence why we see so many adaptations (1994, 2004, ballet) make elizabeth nurse victor back to health in ingolstadt instead of henry, which generates... so many problems. one problem with this is that it just sorta ruins henry's original role in the novel in one go. writers recognize that henry is supposed to be victor's character foil, but now they don't have much for him to do so he can demonstrate that role in the story since they gave all of the romantic tension moments to elizabeth. meaning that in adaptations you can tell the writers didn't really know what to do with henry because he's reduced to a comic relief bumbling idiot (1994, ballet, 2004 to an extent) with his only personality traits being "random xd" and "morals good playing god wrong!!!! 😠" (2004, musical, several independent stage adaptations). they keep him as a character foil, but just replace all of his compassion, tenderness, and devotion with elizabeth, while effectively draining henry of all of his original appeal and charm and stamping those traits onto their already stripped-of-all-nuance elizabeth. so now both henry and elizabeth are not only extremely different from their original roles in the novel but extremely, woefully less charming and complex. this especially pisses me off because it's explicitly stated in the book that henry was victor's only friend precisely because he was victor's intellectual equal, so seeing henry reduced to a smiley idiot and/or stupid generic male side character with Morals fills me with a visceral rage. writers will also sometimes make victor and henry meet in college (ballet, 1994) and try to strengthen the bond between victor and elizabeth by making it appear as though she was victor's ONLY childhood friend and companion. other times, victor and henry will be friends pre-ingolstadt (2004, musical) but most of the relationship development will be between elizabeth and victor. those two have all of the tender bonding moments while henry is just kinda inexplicably there sometimes. but i digress. this post is supposed to be about elizabeth. but IF YOU NEED A CHARACTER TO BE A SUNSHINE SOFT OPTIMISTIC LOVER FOR VICTOR IN A FRANKENSTEIN ADAPTATION, HENRY IS ABLE AND WILLING ARE YOU STEPPING ON MY BALLS

clervalstein is true. anyway

elizabeth is somehow more complex and powerful as a female character than the literal adaptations produced almost 200 years later. in adaptations, the most important thing about her is somebody else. the development of all of her character traits (which usually never go beyond standing around and looking helpless) are solely dependant on victor. she feels more like an appendage of the protagonist than an individual with thoughts and experiences separate from victor, and her character is loosely defined and flimsy so the writers can have her conform to her actions in the book whenever it's convenient and then change things up entirely that completely contradict her characterization in the book whenever it's convenient. i have no idea why the fuck this keeps happening with frankenstein adaptations (it's misogyny) and because it isn't looking like guillermo del toro's film (from what ive heard) is going to be super book accurate, i dont foresee too much of a shift in frankenstein adaptations.

look i get it. it's a movie/play/ballet which lasts like 2 hours and you have a lot to do and not a lot of time to do it. i understand you have to make sacrifices for brevity and these characters are, frankly, a lot less interesting and exciting than victor and creechur. people didn't come to see john hughes levels of charm and complexity in the side characters, they came to watch the creechur do scary shit and for victor to say IT'S ALIVE 😱 and be an evil mad scientist you love to hate. they came for their values of "it's wrong to play god!!!" and "too much ambition bad!!!" to be re-cemented even though that's not even the original point of the novel. which is why imo if you're going to adapt frankenstein in a manner that does justice to the beautiful and sublime subtlety of the original novel, it needs to be either a miniseries or a REALLY LONG film. it's a short book, but it's very eventful, and imo for an adaptation to work you have to let the audience sit with it. which is why you all need to donate to my gofundme so i can produce an honest to god frankenstein adaptation. in fact, im running for president in this year's primaries :3

just a disclaimer: im not an academic or a scholar or anything. i just like the book. i probably have no idea what the fuck im talking about. but im a very very passionate little guy and this has been my rant

[writers-requiem]

Lonely Woes & Fatherly Love

Pairing: Hank McCoy x teen!Reader

Genere: Angst, Depression Comfort

Warnings: mentions of past trauma, suicide attempts, abandonment, drug use, violence and abuse

A/N: Hank isn't actually the reader's dad, just a fatherly figure

Your life was a shit show. There was no getting around it.

One disaster after another with almost no room for a reprieve from it all. Constant feelings of anxiety and depression from failed relationships with family and 'friends'. It was a nightmare without an end. Your parents were part of a drug cartel that you wanted no relation with, your first love had a marijuana addiction and died a year later, all your friends were reckless jerks since primary, and your recent ex made your life even more miserable by constantly comparing you to other people and saying they would be better partners but that he had to be stuck with you.

But that wasn't the worst of it, because not once, not twice, but on five different occasions, you were a ransom hostage and were starved, beaten, and harassed in more ways than you cared to count. Eventually it all culminated with you attempting suicide multiple times but each time being saved by a hero or a some stranger. Making matters worse is that you were only between the ages of 4 and 13 during all that time. And now you're 16

Which leads us to today. You sat alone on a park bench, down on your luck. No food, no house or apartment, not even a penny to get those, and the only solace you have is that you had a jacket to keep yourself away from the cold rain which was pouring buckets.

"Just like every other day..." You said in a solemn, bitter tone.

Your stomach rumbled incessantly, desperate for food and water to sate your hunger and thirst. But all you could get were scraps, and not even that could sate you.

"You seem hungry" a kind male voice said, "I know a dry spot to eat at. Follow me."

The man, dressed in a trench coat and fedora, gently helped you to your feet and gently guided you to the place he spoke of.

Once you had arrived at the location, he took off his fedora revealing his blue furry face. You recognized him as Dr. Hank McCoy or Beast. He had saved you a couple of times before. Once from a hostage situation, and the second from one of your suicide attempts.

"Why did you bring me here?" you asked, your voice tired and strained from days without rest or nourishment.

"Well, I've been keeping an eye on you for a little while now and saw what's been happening with you" he stated in a matter of fact tone accented with worry, "And it seems that fate hasn't been kind to you."

"Never has been..." you said, voice clearly fading from exhaustion and dehydration.

Hank gently wrapped an arm around you and helped you to sit down in the car which you only now noticed since he had opened the door and got you settled in.

Once in the car, he fastened your seatbelt and took his position on the driver's seat and drove off. To where, you couldn't tell since you fell asleep, finally succumbing to the pull of rest.

When you woke up, you found yourself in a comfy bed in an ornate but not too fancy looking room. You also saw that you were covered in bandages and had a cast and sling for your arm. You also weren't wearing your old rags of clothes and were in a white T-shirt and black shorts. Then the door to the room opened, and there walked in a familiar face.

"Oh thank heaven above, you're awake" Hank said with a relieved smile on his face.

"Where am I?" you asked, understandably confused.

"Welcome to Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters" he said, "A place that many like you or I would describe as a new home."

This made your ears perk up. "Home?" you asked with a glimmer of hope and longing in your eyes.

"Yes" he said. He then placed the tray of food to the side and gently held your hand and looked at you like a father would with his son after a traumatic event, "And it's your new home too."

He then picked up the spoon and grabbed some soup with it. It was clear what he was trying to do, so you let him slowly spoon-feed you since your free arm was numb and limp. Strangely, it felt like you were with someone you just wanted to call, 'dad'.

[hongmingoo]

Breaking Down

Pairing: Jeon Wonwoo x reader

Synopsis: Wonwoo didn’t hear the last part for your dying breath to him, only hearing up to “I’m sorry, Wonwoo” and began to swirl into the depths of self-loathing. The story of the people you left behind. 

Spin-off of Untitled,

Inspired by: Breaking Down by Ailee | Doom at Your Service | Hi Bye, Mama!

Word count: 3.4+k

Warnings: MINORS DNI | Major character death, critical ilness, heavy angst, very slight mention of suicide, mental illness, self loathe, hurt, grieving, depression, ghost!reader. Let me know if i miss anything.

a/n: I just wrote this story in one go, a product of my overwhelmed feelings poured into writing. It might not be as good and there might be grammatical errors and typos too but please pardon me anyways. Please enjoy, and do reblog and like this story to support me 🙂<3

You gasped, at the sight before you. 

Wonwoo was breaking down, crumbling into himself. He was tearing himself apart, shredding every last bit hope that held his person together with his own bare hands. He wouldn’t listen to anything anyone says, wouldn’t let anyone come near him. He shut himself from the world, diving head first into deepest pit of misery known to man. And it was because of you. 

“I love you, Wonwoo. My love…” you breathed but he didn’t hear you. Tears are blurring your vision as you watched the scene unfolding before you– Wonwoo clutching your lifeless body tightly in his arms as he sobbed his heart out on your chest, desperately trying to find your heartbeat.  Your brother burst through the door, with a bunch of nurses and doctors in tow. 

“AED. Intubation.” he called out to one of the residents. A nurse pushed through with a cart equipped with the machine, charging it as she placed all the pads needed onto your body. She held out the paddles for Joshua to take but he gulped. He looked over to his wife, who finished intubating you, and nodded. Joshua stepped back, letting his wife take over the process as his hands trembled in fear. He collected Wonwoo in his arms, rubbing circles on his back as he watched the painful process of reviving you. 

“Come on, Y/n. Come back to us” Iris croaked as she pumped at your chest while the machine are being charged and placing paddle for shock. 

It has been 30 solid minutes, the resident at head of the bed was getting tired of pumping oxygen into your airways with no response. His posture began to falter that the airbag slipped from his grip.

“Pull yourself together!” Iris barked, hands still pumping at your chest. 

“Enough” Joshua called out, the residents and nurses stopped immediately at their Head of Department’s order but Iris does not relent.

“What are you doing? Move your hands!” she argued, voice breaking. 

“Iris. Enough. You’re hurting my sister” Joshua warned, his voice firm and demanding. Iris turned to argue her points but the words died on her tongue immediately. His eyes are hard but filled with pain. Clear droplets are lining his waterlines glazing his dark brown orbs. Wonwoo broke free from his grasp, tugging at his collar roughly. 

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!! REVIVE HER!! ARE YOU GIVING UP ON HER?? SHE’S YOUR SISTER!! MY WIFE!!” he screamed, shaking the older man, desperation clear in his voice. 

“I’m never giving up on her. But i won’t hurt my baby sister anymore, Wonwoo. She doesn’t deserve to be in pain anymore” Joshua replied, his voice surprisingly calm. Wonwoo opened and his closes his mouth, unable to utter any words out. He knew his brother was right, you have been in pain for so long. You doesn’t deserve to suffer anymore but he can’t just let you go. Not when he made you cry until the end of your breath, not when you apologized to him for something that wasn’t your fault. Not when he’s sure you hated him. 

“No… No… Y/n… She apologized to me. Her last words were ‘I’m sorry, Wonwoo’. She cried and apologized to me, when she did nothing wrong. How am I supposed to live with that?! How can I apologize to her if she leave me like this?” he rambled, looking back and forth between your body and Joshua. Silently praying that he’ll agree to save you again, to bring you back so that he won’t wallow in regret. 

“Patient name, Hong Y/n. Age 36. Time of death, 0415am, December 30th 20xx” Joshua announced, staring at his wrist watch to avoid the gaze lingering upon him. Wonwoo fell down to his knees, before he began yelling and screaming from the news. The doctors tried their hardest to hold him back, but he was tall and big, the tallest among them. It took 5 of them to hold him as he fought back, trying to reach for you. 

“Give him the sedative” he heard in the back of his mind, eyes never leaving you even as his vision blurry from his own tears. 

“Wonwoo-hyung” he heard this time, saw a vision of Mingyu rushing to him as his vision fades and he blacked out. 

You stood there, invisible to everyone’s eyes as the chaos ensues in the midst of the cold and quiet atmosphere of the hospital. You watched Wonwoo broke down, Iris trying her hardest to hold back her tears as she worked on you. And you watched Joshua swallow his tears and pain– trying to be the mature adult here, acting as the responsible guardian that he is.

But you could see it in his eyes, the pain, disappointment, loneliness and most importantly, sadness. It was his 43th birthday today, you promised to give him a scarf that you’ve trying your hardest to knit, celebrate his birthday together with a cup of warm latte and croffle on the rooftop of the hospital today, while you guys plan what to do for your birthday on the 7th of January. It has been your sibling tradition for years since your mom passed away. You both always made time for each other despite your busy schedules to spend these two days with just each other.

“You broke your promise. You’d have to stand on your hands for 1 minute straight now” he mumbled under his breath, as if he knew you’re there, right next to him all the time. 

“You can all go. I’ll finish up here. Mingyu, please bring Wonwoo to the next room so that Iris can check on him. The rest are dismissed. Thank you for your hard work” Joshua said, as he bowed deeply to his staffs. They all stepped out of the room, leaving him behind the closed door reluctantly. Iris and Mingyu lingered in front of the front door, hesitant to take the next step. But they knew Joshua needed the time alone. It wasn’t until they heard Joshua’s painful wail that they bawled their eyes too. The man was still bowing towards the door, as he let out the sobs that he held back an hour ago into the empty space of the cold ward room. He then walked to the bed and took a seat at the edge, caressing your pale face with his knuckles gently. 

“You’re still warm. My baby…” he sobbed, choking on his own tears.

“Shua…” you cried, sitting behind him, resting your head on his back, arms wrapping around his torso. 

“Why did you take her away too early, mom? I wasn’t ready to let go of her yet. I feel like I haven't taken care of her enough. I wasn’t a good brother to her. I haven’t done enough for her” he paused, taking a deep breath to calm himself. 

“But I'm sure you want to spend time with her more now, since you too didn’t get to spend enough time with her before. I hope that you’ll be happy together. I’ll send Y/n off properly, so please take care of her again, omma. I love you both so much” he exhaled his shaky breath, trying to manage a proper smile, but he wasn’t able to hide the pain he’s feeling right at the moment. So, joshua allowed himself to breakdown, bawling his eyes out, as hugged his sister’s lifeless body tight. 

“You’re the best brother I could ever ask for, Shua. I love you so much and I’m sorry for leaving you behind”

Wonwoo woke up two days later, for the funeral. To be honest, he didn’t have the slightest energy to carry himself around, let alone arrange the  funeral and visitation. He let Mingyu dragged him to the bathroom to wash him and dress him, tidying his hair, applying chapstick to his cracked lips. He let the younger fed him water, any sort of food he can bring himself to chew, only to vomit them all out mere minutes later. He let himself be walked to the funeral hall, where he saw the portrait of you smiling so brightly, sitting at the center of the of the parlor surrounded by white chrysanthemums. The younger gently sat him down on the cushions to the side so he could lean on the wall. 

Joshua came, wrapping the same band that he’s wearing for chief mourners around his right arm. 

“Just stay here, with her. I’ll handle everything, okay?” he asked, staring into Wonwoo’s lifeless orbs who stared back at him blankly. He squeezed the younger’s shoulders for encouragement before moving away to greet guests and handled everything that needs to be done. He doesn’t care. He can’t. How could he?   

He lost you. He lost the light that shines his being, his meaningless life. And losing you meant losing his life too. He felt like it was his fault, that you suffered, till the end of your breath, that you cried for him and you apologized to him instead of saying you love him. 

Why did you apologize? You didn’t do anything wrong. It wasn’t your fault that you got sick. You didn’t ask to fall ill. You never did. Even in the worst moment, you were still smiling at him. You still hug him, assured him, that everything will be okay eventually. But because he cried, he begged you not to leave him. He begged, pleaded and asked for mercy that you’d stay with him just a day longer, an hour, a minute, a second longer as your life wilted away.

He had wept in your arms when you were in absolute pain, that you apologized to him for leaving him behind as your last breath. He kind of thought that he deserves this. This is his punishment for being so selfish, for forcing to to go through all all those painful therapies that worn out your fragile body day by day. He doesn’t deserve you.

 He let everyone stares at him as he cried yet again, staring into the walls of the hall with empty eyes. He let those who mocked him be for being so irresponsible on his own wife’s funeral. He let those judgemental stares pierced through his soul, because there’s nothing he could think of other than you’re not being with him anymore. He let those nasty whispers ran through his mind when people scoffed at him for being pathetic. He let his mom hug him and cried for him when he didn’t respond to her calls. He let Iris took away your son to comfort him when the three year old boy cried for his dad. 

But you were there, right in front of him, as he stared up at your portrait when everyone already left. You have been there from the very beginning, watching him, staying with him. He just couldn’t hear or see you. It breaks your heart to see him like this. He gave up on his life. Your Wonwoo, who was the optimistic being, the thoughtful and caring Wonwoo, let himself be eaten alive by guilt. 

“Baby, please don’t cry… please stop blaming yourself…” you plead, only for it to fall on deaf ears. 

You didn’t leave him after that too, continued to stay by him even after he went home. Wonwoo locked himself in your bedroom as soon as he reached home, reaching for the last hoodie you wore and hug it close to his chest as he tried to fall asleep. He let his parents take your son back to Changwon, didn’t promise them he’d come visit, won’t say he’ll be okay by himself. Just let them leave, without a word. 

Wonwoo didn’t eat, for like 2 months, only surviving with water. He didn’t touch the food Mingyu cooked for him even after the guy practically moved in with him uninvited to care for him. Joshua came by too, every two days two check in on him, buying groceries for him every weekend and even went to Changwon to visit his nephew. But Wonwoo still didn’t budge from his bed. He didn’t wash nor clean himself. Didn’t go to work either, luckily Seungcheol understood and let him on unpaid leave for a year. But he silently paid for his commitments and gave money for his son’s needs to his parents in Changwon. They silently agreed among their group of friends to support Wonwoo with everything he would need until he can stand on his feet again, no matter how long it would take. 

Your husband let himself suffer, torturing himself by not taking the nutrients his body needs. But he didn’t try to inflict injury upon himself either, only letting life fades away just like that. It wasn’t a good thing, but you’re glad that he didn’t try to take away his life drastically. 

In the third month, Soonyoung forces a piece of kimbap into his mouth, begging him to eat, pleading and crying on his knees because he could’t bare to see his best friend like a zombie anymore. 

“Wonjunnie misses his appa, Wonwoo-yah. Please come back” he sobbed, wrapping his arms around his friend’s thin shoulders. Wonwoo let his tears fall yet again, but he’s too tired to say anything. He couldn’t bring himself to. 

It wasn’t until a year, that he’s able to walk out of the house again. But not without help, of course. Mingyu would help him walk, while Soonyoung drives him around. He visited your resting place for the first time, sitting next to your mom’s. It was filled with photos of you, during youth, wedding photo, pregnancy photo and everything memorial about you. He choked up again, telling you how he misses you so much. 

Soonyoung then drove them back to his parents home, to reconnect with his son. It brought tears to his eyes yet again, to be reminded of how much the boy resembles his mother. His eyes, nose and cheeks. The way he talks, his way of expressing himself, all of it reminds Wonwoo of you.

“I’m sorry, my Wonjun. I don’t have any strength to take care of you right now. I can’t be a good father for you in my state right now. I don’t want to hurt you. I promise I'll come for you as soon as I’m ready. Please know that I love you very very very much, my son. I’m so sorry, my Wonjun” he sobbed, hugging his son’s tiny body in his weak arms. The boy pulled away to stare into his eyes, his tiny hand reaching up to wipe the tears away from his father’s eyes. 

“I’ll pray that mama will take away all of your pain, papa. Please don’t cry” he pouted, eyes beginning to water too. Wonwoo pulled his son into his embrace again, tighter this time, crying his heart out. The boy doesn’t have to know that his mother had cried in her last moments. He also doesn’t have to know that his mother might have hated his father. 

“Your time is almost up, Y/n. You have to leave” a voice called out. You turned around from staring at Wonwoo to lock eyes with the person behind you. Rather than a person, he’s a deity. 

“How can I leave when he’s still like that?”

“Your five years are almost up. You have to go”

“Tell me how to reach him first. I can’t leave him like this. He’s blaming himself. He thought that I hated him!” you argued. 

“There’s nothing I can do. He won’t let anyone help him. He has no hope anymore in him”

“Then give him hope, Jeonghan! You’re a deity! For fucks sake!” you screamed, irritated at the long haired man. You were more desperate than irritated actually. You have been trying to connect with Wonwoo, get into his subconsciousness for almost five years to free him of his guilt. But he won’t let you in. he had lost all hope in him. Wonwoo is broken.

And your time is running out. If you don’t leave until your five years are up, you’ll be mindless evil spirit. Bounded to this world forever, and harming people. You might even harm your beloved ones. You'd hate that.

“What hope should I give? You knew nothing worked for him” Jeonghan sighed.

“Anything! A new woman? So that he forgets me” you gritted, frustrated at yourself. Jeonghan eyed you.

“Would you actually want that?”

“I’d do anything to save him” you exhaled. You knew it wouldn’t work. Jeonghan tried it before. Introducing someone new to Wonwoo but it only ended up offending him and Joshua. They thought he was inconsiderate of them and didn’t respect the bond they have with you. But you can’t hover around Wonjun either because he’s a child and still so vulnerable to attacks. You need someone to coax Wonwoo to open up his heart, which he locked away for the longest time, so you could slip inside and let him know how you actually feel.

To your relief, that person was Joshua, your brother, your ever saviour. He had cried after a long time, begging your husband to talk to him, to them, because they can’t see him like that anymore.

Maybe it was Jeonghan who told him about the dire situation you are in now, or maybe it was his instinct because Joshua has always been observant of you. You have been hovering over him long enough for him to catch up on supernatural feels. He wasn’t the one to believe that sorts of things, but if it was a chance to save his brother, to pull Wonwoo back to himself, he was willing to do everything that it takes. 

Finally, after years of trying, you slipped into Wonwoo’s subconsciousness. You saw him sitting in the dark corner alone, and lonely. 

“Wonwoo, baby?” you called out. His head whipped to your direction immediately upon hearin the voice he missed the most. 

“Y/n” he broke down, running into your arms and you gladly receives him, kissing his face that you missed dearly. You kissed him on his hair as he cried his heart out, telling you how much he misses you. That he wished he'd died with you too. You let him weep for who knows how long, until he can breathe properly again.

“I love you so, so, so much Wonwoo my love. There isn’t a moment of time that I didn’t. Please don’t be in pain anymore. Please live happily with our Wonjunnie. And please keep me in your memory always. I’ll always be here for you. I love you. I love you so much, my love” you say, staring into his glassy eyes.

You knew you can’t stay there for long, you’re not a deity. Wonwoo is bound to wake up again. And you wouldn’t want anything more than that. You’ve said what you needed to. You saw that the frowns on his brows has faded a bit from your assurance. The dark, and gloomy place has begin to fill with colours. The chains of his heart has been broken and the guilt he felt is slowly vanishing. Your job is done and you need to go. With a deep breath, you let Wonwoo go, staring at his handsome face as you backed away– towards Jeonghan who was waiting for you. 

“I love you, Jeon Wonwoo” you say one last time before vanishing. 

Wonwoo’s eyes shot open, seeing he's passed out at Joshua's couch as usual. The windows are open a bit to let the cool air in. And for the first time in a while, he can breathe properly. The heavy feelings confining his chest have dissipated and he believed that it's your doing. 

"I love you, Y/n. Thank you for staying with me"

And that night, Wonwoo realized that you might not be there with him physically, but you'll always be there in his heart and mind. 

-Fin-

[plantwriting]

Okay finished relistening to episode 1 (will listen to episode 2 and maybe more tomorrow but its like 10 pm and i have school tomorrow) of bitb and heres just like small collection of things that stuck to my mind!

Rolan does in fact canonically have a car i forgot about that so sorry rolan in my fic you got to live but lost your ability to drive such is life

Kian’s first act being just drinking something…. Like he wakes up and immediately gets alcohol… grizzly honestly just does such an incredibly amazing job making kian seem so like depressing but hiding it so well behind making everything seem like just some funny rockstar stuff its amazing

Also! The super tired ‘hey’ before he remembers and switches to ‘i mean whats up dude’??? Like could that have been a genuine mistake by grizz, sure, but i highly fucking doubt that. Like grizzly is so incredible at voice acting i refuse to believe that wasnt intentional

Rand. Just. How fucking mad he is at rolan. Its just painful. And how clearly done with it rolan is like you know this is an argument theyve had like hundreds of times before

So so so many details about kian that are so fucking fun to think about, specifically when he describes the look officer dudes gave him? Like (cant remember the exact quote but you get it) ‘ive seen some bad people in hollywood, people who just smile at you a certain way and you know you wouldnt want to meet them at night because they want to kill you’???? I am using that against him so hard holy shit

They just. Know nothing about how time works. They keep saying that its been a decade (it hasnt its been 15 years) and barc is supposedly old enough to have met them but no he is absolutely not and also charlie described barc as a golden retriever but then who the fuck is the black dog in rands official art just. Wow theyre so inconsistent about everything.

Theres definitely a few details about kian that i had forgotten about (like him just saying he has plenty more cars at home and whatever) but the pros of that is. I dont even need to decide to just ignore canon because i can just fucking believe that hes lying! Like its kian we cant trust his word on anything and thats great for me because i dont need to worry about messing up the canon!

Trying to just keep track of their stats and such but its. Its so hard. Because most of the time they just say ‘thats a success/hard success/failure/etc’ and not even what they actually rolled and then when they say what they rolled they still usually dont say what the number they had to beat was so just like.

Kian has 30 strength and 75 in guitar and 11 hp and that is all i can actually remember

Rand has 45 strength and 30 sanity (for like the first half hour) and ive already forgotten everything else

And rolan. Im going to be real i remember nothing already. I think he has 8 speed? But that was in the solo ep so i cant be sure. Also either him or rand had 14 hp i have already forgotten which one

Rat’s death is so hard to think about but its also very hard for me because im just thinking of kian going through the same fucking thing. Like hes aware of it and hes in pain and he just hears a buzzing and. Augh. (And kian probably died alone. God knows becky wasnt comforting him through that)

…..kian going fucking four times over the speed limit getting to galloway but then specifically not speeding with the others until theyre trying to leave after seeing rats whole thing? You cannot convince me that thats not like him being passively suicidal and just not caring about his own safety unless other peoples lives depend on it as well

Also, quick pat on the back for myself, i feel like i did very well with especially rand and rolan’s dynamic. Like just the intense care and love they have for each other but its been overshadowed by years spent apart and basically the second theyre left alone they immediately get into an argument and instantly start going right for all the things that hurt the most? Jesus they need therapy

Also kian (yes of course im focusing on him again thats my guy) just cares for them so much?? Like him immediately going after rolan and trying to help him without even knowing whats going on, also as fucking stupid as it is grizzlys plan being literally ‘im going to flirt with donna so john walks in on us and chases me with a shotgun to give a distraction for rand’ its like. So ridiculous. Yet somehow also very caring that this idiot is really willing to risk getting shot at to help rand out a bit

[ohmygodshesinsane]

i saw someone say this on reddit and im echoing it here because yeah: as somebody who suffers from depression i am terrified that people think of me how taylor seems to think of joe in so long london. like. that song has really fucked me up. ‘you sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days’ like it’s a fucking choice to be that deep in a depression that you struggle to reach out to your loved ones. ‘i died on the altar waiting for the proof’ because at your worst you should still be performing at every moment because after multiple years of a relationship i need constant reassurance

i know im being a bit harsh but this song honestly upset me in a way no taylor song has before. ive been a bit iffy on youre losing me but this kind of cements it. my worst nightmare would be my partner feeling this way. and i feel sick at the fact that its going to be fucking everywhere with people chiming in like ‘yeah fuck joe ! joe when i find you!’ i dont know. its late and im tired but im just . upset

[controversial-blorbo-bracket]

Controversial Character Tournament Round 2: Kokichi Ouma from Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony vs Peter Pan from Once Upon A Time

(remember that these characters are fictional and your fellow tumblr users are real. i will block you if you harass others in the notes, please consider sending your unhinged harassment to my inbox instead)

Propaganda under the cut, may contain spoilers:

Kokichi Ouma:

LOVE: - "hes a bitch and that makes a lot of people hate him and a lot of other people love him. no one can decide on his motives and i think thats kind of the point. i like him personally but hes a raging asshole <3" - "Not a single DR fan I've ever met is neutral about Kokichi, he's perfect for this poll. I think he's a clever character with consistent internal logic, and his interactions with the other characters are as compelling as they are hilarious. He looks like a dog squeaky toy, and he plots like Artemis Fowl. He's one of my favorite characters in the series and I love him dearly." - "NOBODY CARES ABOUT THIS BOY'S PSYCHOLOGY AT ALL. HE SACRIFICED HIMSELF AND HIS IMAGE AND MADE EVERYONE HATE HIM AND CONSIDER HIM A MONSTER ON THE SLIGHT CHANCE HE COULD USE HIS LIFE TO HELP EVERYONE ELSE ESCAPE AND SURVIVE AND NOBODY CARES. THEY SHOW HIS BREAKDOWN AND NOBODY BELIEVES HIM. I'M SO TIRED" - "not only is he a danganronpa character (inherently controversial) he is also the antagonist and constantly lying because That's His Whole Deal. people either love him or hate his guts. he's a little piece of shit. i would submit komaeda but i feel like views on him are more positive, generally. sorry i have bad taste in video games" - "he's a horrible little guy trying his best in not very good ways what more could you want" - "I don't know, people say he's badly written because they don't pay attention to his arc beyond the cartoonish facade he very obviously forces, and they don't like him because he caused someone's death which like..fair (he did feel super bad about it though so its fine.) Some people also don't enjoy his wonderful personality and think he's a mean piece of shit, which he is, but it's fine. They're just sensitive." - "I know people don't like him because he's like. a shittier version of Komaeda. But that's what's so GOOD about him. He's a shitty asshole of a person, playing pretend at being a villain because he's desperate!!! I think that's really fun. He's dooming himself and I want him to be okay after everything ends, but he dies so he can't even have that much :(" - "so i saw you got submissions for him. but not enough i need to submit him myself he is my favorite character from anything ever. he is the silly man he is so funny one time (actually, two times if you count one optional interaction) he asked a robot if he had a dick and it's absolutely iconic i love him"

HATE: - "(dangan spoilers ahead if that matters) look ok i didn’t originally feel too strongly about kokichi. i think his character is interestingly written (can’t say well-written bc danganronpa but yaknow) and he adds a lot of charm to v3. i understand why he’s popular- he’s one of the few characters in v3 to have both a personality and plot relevance. but oh my GODDDDD he is not a good person!!!! and i am so SICK of seeing him woobified into ‘ooh little baby he did his best he wasn’t doing anything wrong’ JUST BECAUSE you find out he was trying to end the killing game after he dies doesn’t mean he wasn’t incredibly fucked up throughout the game!!! like he was incredibly manipulative, a bully, encouraged infighting, Literally Orchestrated A Murder And Protected Himself From Danger By Getting The Big Stupid Sweetheart To Do It which caused TWO unnecessary deaths and- oh yeah- tricked everyone into believing he was the mastermind and the world had ended to make them so depressed that they just wouldn’t do anything anymore bc can’t kill someone if you’re rotting away in your room!!! AUGH like he’s a good character but it’s BECAUSE he sucks that he’s interesting. maybe this is just the komaeda fan in me but sometimes!!! the character is cooler when you understand that they’re a bad person. at least komaeda gets an actual redemption arc. kokichi’s just an asshole that the game tries to make you sympathetic for at the very end but he spends the entire game being an asshole so why the hell would i like him??? and then i go in a fandom tag and it’s constant unending ‘kokichi did nothing wrong’ the whole point of his character is that he does EVERYTHING wrong. i truly feel like the dr team was trying to replicate komaeda’s popularity but it was messy and poorly handled bc he’s not even a bad person in an interesting way like komaeda he’s just got trust issues that lead him to be stupid and An Asshole. then again people eat it up so what do i know lmao. i love to hate that little shit i wanna punt him into the goddamn stratosphere. score a field goal with that asshat. this is all lighthearted btw i love to die on small hills" - "WHY DO PEOPLE LIKE HIM OH MY GOOOOOOD HES SUCH A FLAT CHARACTER HES A SODA I LEFT OUT FOR 3 DAYS kokichi oma is easily the WORST written danganronpa character. it has been a while since i was into danganronpa so the details are a bit fuzzy but my rage has NOT subsided. following the success of Easily One Of The At Least Top Three Best Written Danganronpa Characters known as nagito komaeda, kokichi had some shoes to fill. he instead showed up in clown shoes. kokichis whole premise is that you dont know if hes lying or not, him being a huge clown and causing shit for like a good third of the cast. kokichi was a simple character. hes a bitch, he sturs shit up, he eat hot chip and lie, it was FINE. not GREAT, but FINE. and then he died. suddenly— kokichi was from modest beginnings. he was actually a genius who was actually doing all of this to save everyone. he was a martyr. they TRIED to follow up on the success of nagito komaeda, and failed miserably. the guy literally has nazi imagery he didnt need to be complex he just needed to be an asshole and force the plot. for assholes that force the plot with actual good depth, may i interest you in byakuya togami? for guys who lie all the time with actual good depth, may i interest you in sou hiyori the beanie man himself from your turn to die [similar genre]? seriously. you guys could do SO much better. just... get better taste oh my GOD JUST BECAUSE HES A TWINK DOESNT MEAN HES WELL WRITTEN" - "Omg I hate this guy,,, people either baby him & make him a uwu soft boy or a funky clown dude, & both those types of people forget all the things he has done??? even if he "redeemed" himself in the end (which i don't think he did--) that still doesn't negate all of the things he did before??? actions speak louder than words but he could never rely on that bc all the does is lie anyway-- i have some strong opinions about him."

Peter Pan:

LOVE: - "My propaganda is that like. Half of the OUaT fandom is OBSESSED with this guy and the other half write fanfiction about their self-inserts beating the shit out of him. The tumblr sphere might be a bit too biased in favor of love and I doubt he'll make it far but from what I've seen people either adore this guy or want him dead in the streets"

[tua-five]

Season 3 Episode 9

⚠️⚠️ s3 spoilers ⚠️⚠️

Definitely thought today was episode 8.. and now I'm scared because it's closer to the relase date...

It makes sense though because I was literally just thinking, how could it be episode 8, I don't remember there being that much left. Then again, I was kind of waiting for the sigil and cockroaches since episode 1, so.

Okay, starting off, it was really just... (there's a word I want but can't remember and I keep using sad, but I don't want to use the word sad because it's deeper than that, but that's all I can think of right now) sad that Luther created all of those reports and samples for nothing. And he had a picture of his siblings. Minus Viktor. Both of those are just so depressing.

It seems I forgot a semi important detail. I used to wonder why Luther or how Luther didn't discover Abigail because through all of his 4 years stranded on the moon, surely he would have stumbled upon her. But no, because there was a geo fence, so he couldn't pass that point.

It's simply amazing how Ben has "ASSHOLE" written on his back.

And Five's speech 😭

Wow... how naive I was... Allison just magically going from absolutely terrible to in the morning apologizing to everyone. And I believed it.

We don't talk enough about Five sitting at the edge of the world. He's just watching the world he spent a whole straight month trying to save just wither away. Because he's done. And when reginald comes out he knows exactly what he wants. Because it's Sir Reginald Hargreeves. And he always will be. No matter what timeline. So he immediately says no. Because he's so done. He's tired. He's exhausted. And he's lived way too long.

And of course, when he says he wants to be alone, Reggie sits anyway.

Oh. And he just straight up tells him. Well, not necessarily straight up. But he says that you never forget your first love. He says he didn't do enough to save his first love. And that he hopes the kids can help him with that.

He can't forget Abigail. He never will. He couldn't save her. She died, and he put her on the moon to try and one day bring her back to life. And now he's using Project Oblivion to bring her back.

They're all so cute for clapping when Five comes. And mentioning the speech. And he defends himself, "It was the booze talking. In the light of day, you're all still deplorable." Sure, Five. You think they're all bad. I'll believe that. After, you know, spending 28 days trying to stop the apocalypse so you can save them and being stuck in one for 45 years to get back to your family.

I hate knowing that Allison is the one who made the deal. And that the whole "I'm sorry" speech was bs. I mean, some of it has to be real. You can't just pull that out of your butt in desperation. But still.

And Allison saying "We've all lost people." And flipping looks towards Five and says, "Mannequins..." 😭😭 stop. Stop. Actually stop. Because I CAN'T 😭

"I saw the future. And it told me to sit this one out. I vote stay." Yeah. Yeah, I vote stay, too.

I honestly... don't know. I can't know if I like or dislike Allison. I can't know if I like or dislike Reginald. I am, however, starting to understand them more. They are both fighting out of love. And I can respect that. But their actions... not so much.

Like Reg killing Luther. "There's an old saying, Luther. The best way to bring a family together is at a wedding or a funeral." Yeah.. we're familiar. The funeral in the very first episode of the show. The wedding just last episode, and now. You've killed your own son.

Klaus is like, "Come on, what are you waiting for? And Five is so pissed. He knows Reginald killed Luther, but the kugelblitz is right there, and he has to go through. "This isn't over!" It never will be.

"You're just more trouble than you're worth."

For fucks sake Reginald!! You're killing everyone!!!

And Klaus kills himself on the white Buffalo either because he wants to go out on his own terms or because he doesn't want to be gone forever. He'd rather die where he can live in the afterlife. See his mom. Luther.

Your gifs! I can't find a majority of the ones I want.

[timotey]

Ficlet: Like Back Then Again

The Sign. Yai & Tharn. Missing scene from ep 6. Discussion of deep depression. Unbeta'd.

Yai just knows that there's something going on.

(I loved the little details about Tharn that ep 6 revealed. Ergo, a fic happened. Tadaaaa! 👐🏻)

***

“Yai?” Tharn blinks, all puzzled, when he opens the door of his condo and finds his childhood friend standing there, a box full of beer in one hand.

Without waiting for an invitation, Yai barges in. “My wife is out on the town with her posse, most likely doing things that I don't want to know or think about. So, it’s your duty as my bro to entertain me.” He dumps the box on the kitchen counter, the bottles rattle loudly, and grabbing one, he sprawls on the couch comfortably.

Tharn blinks again, puzzled by this logic. “O-kay?” he rather asks than says and closes the door softly.

“Have one!” Yai invites him, opening his bottle with a pop and taking a swig.

Tharn obliges, though he doesn’t really feel like drinking, and sits down on the other end of the couch, pressing himself into the corner and pulling his knees to his chest. He doesn’t open his bottle, just rolls it in his hand, studying its colorful label without truly seeing it. He looks very tired.

Yai watches him with narrowed eyes for a moment, then, after another swig of beer, he says briskly, “Okay, brother, what’s going on? Spill. For days now, you’ve been really… weird. I mean, weirder than usual, you know?”

Tharn glances at him sideways, then starts peeling the label off the bottle, bit by bit, pretending to fully focus on this task. “I have no idea what you mean,” he mumbles.

Yai rolls his eyes. “Dude! It’s me.” He jabs himself in the chest with his thumb. “If you can’t talk to me, then to who? Did something happen? With Phaya? Or?” he presses on relentlessly because he knows, he just knows, that there’s something going on. And it’s not nosy curiosity driving him on but genuine concern for his best friend.

For a moment it seems like Tharn won’t answer. But then the label on his bottle rips and a crack in the wall that he surrounded himself with appears. “I hit him,” Tharn whispers, gripping the bottle with both of his hands and smoothing down the damaged label with his thumbs.

Yai frowns. “Who?”

Tharn swallows. “I hit Phaya. He had a row with the Doc and he kept pushing and pushing and I-I… I hit him.” His voice cracks a little and he swallows.

Silence. Yai just stares. Then, leaning forward, he sets his half-empty bottle down on the coffee table and turns to Tharn. Very softly, very gently he asks, “Tharn, what’s going on? Something’s the matter, I know it. Because you don’t go around punching people, not anyone, let alone the guy you have feelings for.”

Tharn keeps staring down at the unopened bottle in his hands, knees pulled up defensively. He’s not answering, not even to claim having no feelings for Phaya, but Yai’s determined to wait him out.

Swallowing hard again, Tharn tries to speak and fails, tries again and this time, “It’s… it’s starting to feel like back then… again. Things… and all.”

Back then. Tharn doesn’t need to elaborate. Yai still remembers ‘back then’, vividly so. Back then when Tharn’s love died, unexpectedly and nonsensically, and Tharn was swallowed by a pit of depression so deep and dark that Yai feared he would never find his way out again.

Taking a deep breath, Yai clenches his hands tight, so tight that his knuckles turn white, but his voice is calm when he asks, “How bad?”

Tharn still doesn’t look at him. “Not as bad, I can manage,” he mutters lamely.

But Yai frowns. “No, Tharn, you don’t ‘manage’ this, not this,” he says kindly but firmly. “You gave me your word back then that if you ever started feeling like that again, you would seek help. And I am holding you to that promise, brother.”

Tharn hunches his shoulders a little as if guilt rested heavily on them.

But Yai won’t back down, not on this. Because he doesn’t want to see Tharn suffer like that again, he doesn’t want to go to bed every night, fearing that Tharn won’t be there anymore when he wakes up. Those memories still give him the chills.

“Maybe it would be a good idea to go back to therapy,” Yai suggests. “You know that Doc Chalothon would make time for you, always, for you.”

Tharn cringes a little. “I’m not so sure it would be such a good idea. To have him as my therapist again, considering…” He doesn’t finish the sentence.

Yai does it for him. “Considering your crush hates his guts for some unfathomable reason?”

Tharn waves his hand a little instead of answering but it’s an answer in itself.

“Fine,” Yai says. “Then find another therapist.”

Frowning, Tharn protests, “But that would probably hurt Doctor Chalothon’s feelings and–”

But Yai cuts him off, “Fuck him.” 

This time Tharn does look at him, startled.

“You heard me,” Yai says. “I like the Doc, he’s done marvels for you back then and I will be forever grateful to him for that. But fuck him. And fuck Phaya, too, even though I am convinced he would be good for you, that he would make you really happy. But fuck him too. This isn’t about them. It’s about you. What you need.”

“It’s not that simple…” Tharn whispers, looking at him with eyes that seem way too dull and lifeless.

“Yeah, yeah it is!” Yai snaps harshly. “You want to go back to therapy with the Doc? Then go for it. You want to find someone else? Then do. I will help you. We can look up someone right now.”

Tharn lowers his eyes again. Something in Yai’s chest hitches. He and Tharn are almost the same height yet Tharn’s always felt somehow smaller to him. But right now, right now he feels almost insubstantial to Yai, like he’s fading, and it’s scaring the shit out of Yai.

He scoots closer on the couch. “Look, if you feel put under pressure, I’ll run interference for you,” Yai offers, leaning down to catch Tharn’s eyes. “I’ll go to the Doc and explain the situation to him. Hell, I’ll talk to Phaya for you and tell him to back the fuck off for a while. Anything, Tharn, you know that.”

Tharn finally looks up again, smiles a little. “Yeah, I do.”

Yai relaxes just a fraction. He reaches out and pulls Tharn into an one-armed hug. Tharn lets him, leaning heavily against Yai who can almost feel Tharn’s bone-deep exhaustion now. It breaks his heart a little.

“It’s just all too much,” Tharn admits quietly, closing his eyes.

Yai hugs him tight, wrapping both arms around Tharn. “It’s going to be alright, brother,” he says. “We will deal with this. I know that. Just lean on me and we will kick this thing in the ass.”

Releasing a deep, shuddery breath, Tharn allows himself to relax, pent-up tension flowing out of his body, leaving him feeling all boneless and loose. “Okay,” he says. “Alright, we can do that.”

And Yai nods fiercely. “Of course we can. Trust me!”