#i am very slow & this is very long because i kept adding things to it but this was a very fun ask thank you <3

[silken-moonlight]

Older Alpha and Human Waitress Part Two

A/N: Here you will find part one. I hope you like part two! It's difficult for me to write story-oriented, since I am very used to introducing characters and their stories. I hope you guys like this! I am tired now and definitely have to catch up on some sleep. See you in the morning! -Swan/Moon

Your POV

You were already feeling a little tired when you went to work. You always worked in the afternoon, since your workplace does not open before 3 p.m. So you had the whole morning and noon to yourself. Usually you slept a little longer, but today your father had needed someone to accompany him to his doctor's visit. Since you were the only child of your parents, the responsibility to take care of them fell on you. You had a wonderful relationship with your parents; however, being always the one to care for them, since they both are chronically sick, could be draining. Sure, they could do most things on their own, but they had bad days where they needed your assistance. Also, somebody needed to take care of the two dogs from your parents: two corgis, Pumpkin and Spice, who were just lovely and brought your parents so much joy.

So after fulfilling said responsibilities for the day, you made yourself ready for work. Quickly arriving at your workplace by tram, your coworker, Andy, was already there. He had the first shift, and you had the second. Quickly, you walked to the staff's changing rooms and put your things in your locker. There wasn't a work uniform like in some other restaurants; the only requirement your workplace had was black clothing and the apron provided by the restaurant. It allowed you to wear something that at least slightly resembled your personal style. Today, you had decided on some loose pants and a basic black T-shirt with a pretty neckline.

You did the usual: checking if there were enough straws at the bar, having a quick chat with the kitchen about the reservations for today, and checking if there were enough coasters. You kept yourself busy while Andy took on the few tables.

Everything was really slow and nice for the first two hours. You looked at the door once and suddenly saw a familiar face. The tall man from yesterday walked in. You were a little afraid you had messed something up, since why would he return to the restaurant the next day? He gave you the most subtle smile when he saw you, greeting you with a nod while Andy brought him to a table. Seemingly, he had returned to eat here again. The barkeeper, Mandy, leaned over to you: ""The hottie is back," she said and wiggled her eyebrows, a unique talent of hers. You laughed. "Well, shoot your shot then. You could ask him for his number," you suggested while you looked over at the man from yesterday. You had to admit, he was really attractive—totally your type. He was tall, possessed dark, long hair and a beard. Gods above, you loved it when a man had a well-kept beard. His eyes held such a stern and dominant gaze. Also, he was older than you. You always had a thing for older men.

It was something about the stability an older man brought. Often, they had their lives already figured out and set their priorities. At least in your mind, an older man would not play games or create big drama like guys your age did.Also, you could not hear a: "Yeah, I am too young for settling down, ever again." That was the sentence with which your last boyfriend broke up with you. Also, he had told you that he felt neglected because you had to take care of your parents. He also added that you were no fun, never going to parties and never drinking until you passed out. He was bored by the nature walks you had dragged him to...Your ex's list went on with boring things about you. Honestly, it had hurt a lot hearing that from him, but you had found your peace in it.

"I will try my shot later," Mandy told her while she began to prepare the drinks that had been ordered. Quickly, you stood at the attractive man's table again, setting down his drinks like yesterday. "Well, hello again." You greeted him with your usual waitress smile. "Didn't think to see you so fast again," you added. Again, he gave you the most subtle smile. "Sometimes such unforeseen events happen." You kept your smile but internally wondered about his strange answer. You walked back to the bar with a strange feeling in your chest. You wanted to continue to talk to him, however, work was waiting for you.

A couple of hours passed; guests went and came, but the man stayed. It was a little weird; however, you wouldn't complain since yesterday he had given such a large tip. He didn't really fit into the vibe of the restaurant. With his dark suit... why did men in suits always look that good?

While she was serving another table, her attention had slipped, and some of the cutlery had fallen from her tray onto the ground. Nothing happened but a loud bang as it met the floor. The guest, however, was not amused. "Can you not be a bit more attentive? You startled me!" The woman nagged and scolded you. "I am so sorry," you said to her as you went to pick up the cutlery from the floor. The woman went on about how unprofessionally you were behaving. You just nodded along, aware you weren't allowed to sass back. When she was finally finished, the attractive men waved you over. "Are you okay?" He almost asked genzly, his gaze meeting hers. "Yeah, I'm okay. Not the first time somebody scolded me for being 'unprofessional'." You told him, he frowned. "Pwople should really have more respect, I mean I am very sure you do not work here for fun." He said that, and you nodded, still a little dulled from the woman's little tantrum. "Thank you for saying that; some people are just...not nice," you added carefully. He gave you a soft smile this time. "If anyone gives you trouble, you can call me, sweetheart," he said to you and gave you a little card. It was dark gray, and the name Desmond Lyall and his phone number were printed on it in gold letters. "Thank you," you answered, and a flush crept onto your cheeks. You tried not to think much of it as you returned to the bar. He had just been nice to you because he pitied you—you told yourself.

The hours passed until the restaurant closed. Again, he left a big tip. The tips of the day were collected and split evenly between all colleagues who worked that day; that was written in your contract. Today’s tip was quite large due to—now you knew his name—Desmond’s tip.

The next day, you went to work, even more tired than before. You had to drive to the animal clinic in the night; Pumpkin had whined in pain half the night. The doctors told you that he had a stomach flu and gave you the medications for it. You didn’t sleep after that, watching over your dog as he finally had been able to rest properly.

The biggest surprise, however, was when once again Desmond walked in. “Back again?” you asked with a teasing smile. He chuckled:"Well, what can I say? I've been caught by the beauty of a certain worker here." You laughed. "I'll tell Andy that, maybe you can get his number." You said, chuckling. "Well, the person I have in mind is female." You smiled at him and then looked over to Mandy, who had just come down from upstairs. You were sure he meant her, as he had often ordered a specific drink from the bar. Surely she must have caught his eye; she was a beautiful woman.

Once again, he stayed long, engaging in small talk with you. You enjoyed it; he was kind and used a specific kind of wit. It was refreshing and nice. He told you he was there on a business trip; you knew that before, but he told you again. He told you about his family; he seemed to have quite a large one. He asked you about yours, so you told him about your parents' illnesses. Even about your ex-boyfriend.

"I honestly gave up on love," you told him with a subtle wit in your voice. "Oh, don't be so sure; a pretty thing like you will have countless people who want to date you," he said with a chuckle. You rolled your eyes but laughed. "Charmer. But no, I don't go out much, so I don't meet many people. I don't want to, actually. I prefer to be on my own; at least I have some peace and quiet then." He smiled knowingly at you. "We have that in common because, of my work, I am forced to have some business friends. But I prefer to be alone too." You nodded:"Sounds similar to me, I have some friends still from school...They always trying to get me to meet them at some kind of party. But i do not feel comfortable there, I am more of a stay-at-home-and-read-a-book or a-take-a-walk-in-the-forest-instead-person." You went on.

[silverwhittlingknife]

How would you describe Tim's people skills? Especially when you compare them to Dick's?

Hi anon, this was a fun ask!! I picked out a few panels for each of them (comforting friends, a bit out of sync with friends, fighting with friends, and offering practical support to friends) just to get a quick look at their people skills in action, and then I rambled on about my thoughts on their strengths and their weaknesses.

(Caveat: I'm going to try to focus on my ideas about differences between the two of them, since we're comparing, but I do think they're socially more similar than not, so you might also want to check out @bitimdrake's post on Dick and Tim's similarities for the big picture!)

Short version: I think they've both got good people skills. Dick's are a bit better and more natural, whereas Tim's are more practiced and learned (in ways that sometimes show).

Let's start with Dick first, and then I'll get back to Tim.

Dick

Comforting friends in Titans Secret Files:

Dick: Will you go back in there and sit down? This is my house. You don't need to clean up after me! Donna: I know, I just... I just ... Dick: Hey, hey... what's the matter? Donna: Nothing. It's nothing. Dick (reaching out to supportively grip her shoulders): Donna, this is me here, remember?

A bit out of sync with friends (but still getting along well) in Titans 3:

Dick: The movie runs 98 minutes. So if we fast-forward past the coming attractions and watch only half the credits, I can still make it back to Blüdhaven in time to - Roy: Nightwing, chill. Team morale demands that you relax and enjoy yourself.

Fighting with friends in Titans 13:

Dick: We haven't used it much, Changeling. But that's gonna be different. Starting right now. Our performance against Tartarus and the HIVE was unacceptable. Each and every one of you should thank God you weren't killed. Kory: How dare you? How can you just stand there talking to us like we're a military detachment -

Giving support to relative strangers in Nightwing 87:

Neighbor 1: Oh, he - he's a true gentleman, you know? Always holds the door, or helps me up the stairs with my groceries if we both come in at the same time... Neighbor 2: ...used his motorcycle to jumpstart my car one morning and even got my brother-in-law a job with Wayne Enterprises when he got laid off... Neighbor 3: ...and he's very, very, very nice and doesn't talk down to me. Plus he lets me use his basketball.

Offering practical support (making dinner) in Prodigal:

Tim: I can't believe you can actually cook... Dick: I like to eat. Tim: So does Bruce - but he had to order Chinese last night. Dick: That's where I'm one up on him - I've lived on my own without an Alfred. Still miss him, though... He was good for a lot more than cooking and cleaning. Tim: Yeah. But at least we don't have to miss him on empty stomachs.

Strengths:

I think Dick's people skills are pretty simple: he has them! He's good at people! And I tend to think of Dick's people skills as so automatic they're mostly instinctive. It's not something he really has to think about because it's so ingrained in him. A combination of natural talent plus a childhood spent around sociable performers means Dick's just really highly attuned to the people around him.

And I don't think he's particularly obvious about it. So e.g. you could be having a conversation with Dick where he didn't seem like he was paying close attention, but if there was An Important Moment where you got anxious for a moment or let something important slip or let a bit of anger show through etc. - Dick will have picked up on it, even if it's unconsciously, and it'll stick with him and come back to him later.

And just generally - I think Dick has good instincts for who he can trust and who he shouldn't trust; when he's treading on conversational landmines he'll often pick up the unease even if he doesn't have the context to know why there's a problem; if he's trying to comfort and trusts his instincts he'll often do the right thing even if he can't justify in words why he felt like that was the right thing to do.

So I think for Dick, there's always the level of conscious awareness - the things he's aware he knows, if you will - and the level of unconscious awareness - things he senses, but maybe can't explain, or maybe doesn't want to know so he's suppressing the thoughts.

So he's good at leading, and he's good at comforting, and he's good at listening, and he's good at figuring out the right thing to say...

Like, he's good at all of it, so it's actually sort of difficult to elaborate because there's just not that much nuance? Given any particular interpersonal situation, Dick has an excellent chance of getting a quick read on some random guy he's just met and then getting the reaction he wants pretty fast, whether it's intimidating the guy or comforting him or getting him to cooperate or taunting him until he loses his temper, etc etc etc.

Obviously Dick's not a mind reader, and he can get things wrong, especially when he's in the throes of one of his own personal crises, but generally I think Dick's very very sure-footed with people, even with strangers.

Weaknesses:

This isn't a weakness precisely because Dick's usually doing it on purpose, but he'll sometimes have fights with his friends because they think he's acting overly professional/detached and he thinks they're not being professional enough. So e.g. in Titans 13, you can see Dick's set up the room almost like he's leading a business meeting, and he's the boss lecturing them, and they're reacting by getting mad at him. Part of this is basically a Traditional Bat Problem - Tim's friends also balk because they feel like Tim's keeping them at a distance - but Dick tends to lean especially hard on "I'm The Leader Here So Shut Up And Do What I Say" professionalism / distancing.

When things are going well, Dick's friends may grumble at his intense professionalism but basically appreciate it (this is basically how things go in their reunion in TT vol 2); when things are not going well, though, it becomes a point of tension. Generally, Dick gets extra-professional as a coping mechanism when under stress, as here in TT vol 2 12:

To the extent that Dick falters with social skills, it tends to be almost exclusively with people he knows well, not with strangers. Dick sometimes struggles with maintaining relationships, largely because he's often juggling multiple responsibilities; he'll sometimes get hyperfixated on something and deprioritize his more stable relationships (so e.g. when he gets fixated on trying to fix Blüdhaven and gets distracted from his relationship with Babs).

Somewhat relatedly, if things start going wrong in his own life, he tends to self-isolate out of shame and avoid everyone he thinks of as more put-together. So, for example, in the aftermath of Blockbuster, he's a self-destructive mess who's trying to dodge and/or drive away Clark and Roy and Tim (all people who care about him and would want to help), but Sophia Tevis and Rose are two messed-up young strangers in trouble and their obvious neediness trips his "urgency" meter, plus he may be a mess but they have no context to realize that so he doesn't feel so self-conscious, and he's able to be drive-by super-helpful to them and then dive right back into privately self-destructing.

Also not a weakness per se, but he tends to be a bit of an introvert in general - he and Wally are close, but they go long stretches of time without catching up; when he's spending time with friends, usually it's Donna / Wally / the Titans / Tim visiting Dick rather than the other way around; he's more likely to get cajoled into joining a team than the other way round - Wally talks him into rejoining the Titans and Roy talks him into joining the Outsiders. He likes people and likes spending time with friends, but he's usually not the one initiating a social gathering. He's self-aware about this; in Titans 9, he muses, "It's not the newness that's the problem. The problem is the old stuff. The ruts. You know someone long enough - well enough - and you fall into a rut with them... you completely take the relationship for granted..."

Relatedly, because Dick's pretty self-contained, he has a recurring problem where loved ones interpret him as distant or detached or indifferent even when he's still passionately attached - both Kory and Babs break up with Dick in part because they feel like he's not really that committed to them (also there are mmm Problematic Plotlines involved but I'm ignoring those for the purposes of this post), and in both cases IMO they're misreading him. He's deeply upset by both breakups and responds with big declarations of feeling and, uh, proposing marriage shortly afterward. (Okay, so he's not ALWAYS sure-footed sdfdsfs)

When Dick's getting something wrong, it's usually because he's upset and overcompensating - when things with Kory and Babs are tense, he tries to fix it with Big Gestures; when Vic's mad at him about spying, he missteps with an elaborate secret plan culminating in a big dramatic offering of a new body which Vic does want... but he's still understandably miffed at Dick for making a bunch of decisions behind his back instead of talking to him. Dick guesses right about something Vic will want, but because Dick when he's feeling guilty tends to slide into I-Am-The-Leader, I-Must-Fix-Everything-By-Myself, I-Am-Responsible-For-Everything mode, he forgets that the whole original problem is connected to not respecting Vic's autonomy / right to make decisions for himself, and that a better gesture would be asking Vic what he wants instead of once again making decisions on his behalf without consulting him. (I'm sympathetic to Dick's spying-on-Vic plan on account of how Vic did turn into an evil moon for a bit - comics are bonkers, you guys sdfdsfs - but I'm also very sympathetic to Vic feeling that he deserved fuller disclosure here.)

And you can see similar patterns in lower-key conflicts too: every time Dick gets accused of being just like Batman, it's usually because he's coming off as harsh or detached or uncaring (sometimes on purpose because he's pushing people away; sometimes just because Dick handles grief and fear by shutting down; sometimes because his the-buck-stops-here leadership style can come off as overly-detached), even though Dick actually cares SO SO MUCH, all the time, about everyone he knows.

But honestly... these weaknesses exist, but they're minor in comparison to his strengths?? Dick's a guy with a lot of very strong friendships for a reason. He's true as steel and once he cares about you, he cares about you forever. <3

OKAY! So that's Dick. Let's finally move on to...

Tim

Comforting friends in Joker's Last Laugh 3:

Tim: Babs? Is everything okay? (hugs her)

A bit out-of-sync with friends (but still getting along well) in Young Justice 7:

Cassie: A campout isn't a campout without a real fire. It's no fun at all. Tim: But the generator is far more efficient, Cassie. It's non-polluting, it poses no threat of forest fire, and it's... it's ... (taking in everybody else's expressions, sighing, reversing course) It's no fun at all. Impulse, can you...?

Fighting with friends in Adventure Comics 3 (stonewalling, avoidance, and lying!)

Conner: You weren't picking up. Tim: I didn't know it was you. Conner: I turned off my caller ID blocking. Tim: I was busy. I am busy. Conner: Too busy to talk to your best friend? Tim: Yes. No.

Giving emotional support to relative strangers in Robin 98 / 100 / 156:

Wesley: I just wanted to thank you. They tell us at the meetings that it's important to let people know how you feel. You did a lot for me - making me sober up. If you hadn't taken the time to notice - (Later) Tim: You're gonna stay strong, right? (Wesley: Right.) Tim: You're gonna stay sober, okay? (Wesley: Okay.) Tim: You're gonna do it 'cause - Wesley: 'Cause if I don't you'll come back and kick my butt all over campus. Tim: Uh huh.

(The redhaired guy was about to jump. Tim convinces him to sit down and talk first.) Tim: So, you're in college? Guy: Yeah, I'm a freshman. How'd you know? Tim: Just a hunch. I'm guessing you don't like it much. Guy: I always hated high school. Always felt like I was outside looking in, never part of any group or anything. I was on the diving team but even then I didn't feel like part of it. The only good thing was that was where I met Lori, my girlfriend.

Offering practical support (medical care and tea) in Batgirl 59:

Tim (treating her injury as she shares her traumatic past): Whoa. That's ... horrible. Cass: That's nothing. Stephanie and I used to laugh about - oh... uh... never mind. Wait, Tim. I... I'm so ... stupid, I don't - Tim: You're not stupid. Want some tea? Cass: I ... uh... yeah. Thank you.

Strengths:

Tim! I think Tim's also pretty decent at people - not as good as Dick, but hardly anyone is?

I tend to think of Dick as instinctively good at people, and Tim as more consciously good at people.

Tim spends a lot of time being intentionally watchful: observing, spying, psychoanalyzing people, paying careful attention to what they say, thinking about what makes them tick. (And Tim psychoanalyzes himself, too. Tim is studiously engaged in the study of Tim, and of Tim's friends, and of Tim's family. He's often playing a role, even when that role is "Tim Drake.")

So e.g. in Red Robin, at one point Tim has an elaborate domino-falling database where he's compiled a list of villains he wants to fight and how he wants to fight them, all leading up to a very careful takedown plan for Boomerang where he's thought through and anticipated Boomerang's every move ahead of time... and he's basically right! He gets it all right!

And this kind of intensely-studied logical chess-game of "he will do this for this reason, and then this for that reason, and the other people will respond in this way, like a series of dominos, and I've thought through all the possibilities" is Very Tim to me, and I feel like... this is just the sort of thing that Dick would never ever do?

And mostly Dick wouldn't do it because he wouldn't have to. When Dick's skeptical of James Gordon Jr., he goes to talk to the guy and feel him out, and he ethically feels obliged to give him the benefit of the doubt because there's no evidence against him, but he's got a bad feeling and doesn't trust him and secretly slaps a tracer on him because he's got an instinct he'll want it, and he's right: James Jr. is up to something, and that tracer is exactly the thing that Dick needs.

And similarly if Dick wanted to goad James Jr. into doing something, I think he'd go off and meet him and goad him into doing it, and he'd have an instinct for what to say to make that happen - I think the whole elaborate domino plan that Tim comes up with for Boomerang would feel unnecessarily complex to Dick. Not that Dick doesn't make complicated plans, because he absolutely does, but Dick doesn't usually overthink people.

Similarly, if Dick had been the little kid in Lonely Place of Dying, he'd have gotten worried and gone straight to Bruce and talked to him, not gotten worried and taken photos of Bruce from a distance and then come up with an elaborately overthought plan to go to New York and track down his estranged son and fix him that way. And, like. Kid!Tim's not entirely wrong! He's correctly picked up on a very real and very strong connection between Bruce and Dick even though he doesn't know either of them! And given how little actual information Tim has, this is actually an impressive plan (it's a bad plan, because Tim doesn't know about their fights, but it's an impressively solid plan given that his entire information basis is "watched them from a distance and collected news reports"). But this isn't how Dick thinks about people.

Backing up to a more general point: Tim values people skills really really really highly. I think "uses interpersonal skills to help and comfort other people" is one of Tim's highest values and arguably the highest value - he imprinted on Dick because he was kind, and then imprinted on Batman because he was comforting Dick. And he has six million After-School-Special-style plotlines where he tries to comfort / advise / rescue / etc. people in various stages of emotional distress and who are using bad coping mechanisms. His very first outing as Robin involves talking down a semi-suicidal shooter; the big finale of YJ has Tim talking Secret down from her rampage; he's very gentle when he's comforting his girlfriend after she confides in him about a maybe-attempted-rape; he talks down a suicidal college student in Robin; plus there's the entire concept of "Batman needs Robin" in the first place; not to mention his obsession with the importance of friends; and so forth.

So it's something that he's good at because it's something he values and works at. His people skills are conscious and learned. He does a fair bit of amateur psychoanalysis of other people's problems, and he's generally good at identifying the problems, even if he's not always great at fixing them. And he's often playing a role, or imitating other people, rather than being himself; he invests a lot of time constructing alternate identities; he's often more comfortable wearing a mask. (It is just so typical of Tim that his civilian friendship group is the DCU version of D&D players.)

So his practiced-people-skills work decently well, because he's diligent and he cares a lot, and he's better at people when he's older than when he's younger. And he's extremely good at things he's had a lot of practice with, like meeting new schoolmates, or making small talk, and he's friendly and he likes people, and he's good at learning scripts and following them, and he only tends to misstep when he's distracted or unusually anxious or when he's in a situation where normal social norms don't help. (Of course, since he's a vigilante and not an ordinary person, distracted / unusually anxious / weird situation are all things that happen more often than you might think!)

I also think Tim has a few caretaker instincts that have become automatic - generally he's hyperaware of when people are upset and usually tries to reach out or fix it, and even when he's trying to keep himself at a distance he'll slide into caretaking sometimes - so e.g. there's that moment in Batgirl with Cass when Tim's kinda upset with her for siding with Batman (and distancing himself from other people in general), so he's not intending to get close to her, but also what we see him doing is treating her wounds and then getting her tea. And meanwhile Cass actually wants to reach out, and she's intensely observing him and worrying and wanting to help, but what she actually does is... drink the tea. That Tim got her. While she stays firmly on her side of the couch.

(I tend to think of Cass as slightly similar to Tim but at the very very very beginning of her learn-to-people journey here? Like Tim, she cares!! A lot!! And she's successfully understood that Tim's upset, and she knows when she's put her foot in her mouth. But she's not sure what to do yet.)

Weaknesses:

Tactless! This is a tricky word because I think people sometimes hear 'tactless' and misunderstand it as 'generically rude,' but that's not quite the issue - Tim's quite polite most of the time; his problem is that his default mental monologue is very detached / psychoanalyzing / analytical, including about himself and things he's emotional about. He'll often be analyzing his own emotions even in the process of having them (I also talk about this a little here, though it's mostly a post about Dick and anger), and Tim's also constantly analyzing other people.

This means that if he doesn't edit his brain-to-mouth filter, he can come off as too detached or professional or calculating.

This is obviously similar to Dick's problem of coming off as too detached / professional - again, they're both Bats - but it's not quite the same thing, and I think this distinction is most obvious if you look at the places where they're doing it on purpose and picking fights:

Dick's most likely to pick fights by pulling rank: "I'm the boss, you all fucked up this mission and you better not do it again, shape up or shut up." This is a kind of distancing that's about Dick-the-impassive-boss and you-the-subordinate.

By contrast, Tim's more likely to pick fights via hostile psychoanalysis: "I notice you're being snide about Cass again, but we both know you're actually just mad that Bruce cares about her more than he cares about you." When he's miffed, both his inner monologue and the things he says tend toward 'uncharitable analysis of your emotional weaknesses,' and this is something he periodically directs at Bruce / Jason / Damian. This is a kind of distancing that's about Tim-the-hostile-analyst and you-the-unfortunate-target-of-analysis.

(Caveats: I don't think Tim's above trying to pull rank if he can, but he rarely has the opportunity; Dick's not above jabs at other people's weaknesses when he's very defensive and feeling attacked - junkie, elevator - but IMO he's more likely to pull rank, whereas Tim's jabs are more likely to be wrapped up in insulting psychoanalysis, so e.g. Jason's insecurity is his problem. The Jan Brady of the Batfamily.)

You can see related similar-sounding-but-different issues if you look at some of their respective breakups. So e.g. Dick has a breakup with Babs in which she thinks he doesn't care about her, and Tim has a breakup with Cassie in which she thinks he doesn't care about her. And these breakups are different for six million reasons (among other things, Dick and Babs have a pretty intense romance, whereas, uh, Tim and Cassie have had one date and IMO she's very right that they're better off as friends).

But you also get some useful character notes:

Babs is wrongly anxious that Dick's mostly in love with nostalgia for their past rather than the person she is now (he 100% does love the person she is now!) and she's being unfairly bitchy about Catalina, but she's also correctly noted that he's gotten into the habit of deprioritizing their relationship in favor of vigilante busywork & that he's been a bit pushy in swooping in protectively rather than letting her fight her own battles, so when she's accusing him of being a control freak it's not completely coming from thin air; Dick responds by getting hurt, upset, and direct (he gets furious and punches something, but then makes a big sweet sincere emotional speech to her about how much he cares and values her, albeit one that's so caught up in his own emotions like wanting to "protect" her that he's not slowing down enough to take in her insecurities).

Cassie has correctly realized that dating Tim is a bad coping mechanism and she really needs to just deal with her grief over Conner; when she starts crying, at first Tim moves to comfort her, but when she actually clarifies the breakup, an upset Tim responds by aggressively de-emotionalizing the conversation and pretending he's being totally logical and not emotional about it - he first wonders aloud if he's a bad detective for not seeing it coming and then attempts a bonkers guilt-trip suggestion that it's their duty to date in order to uhhh avoid turning evil in the bad future (sdfsfdsfdsfds sure tim nice try)

This isn't because Tim literally doesn't have feelings, because of course he does! But often, the more upset he is, the worse he gets at clearly expressing those feelings, and the more he intellectualizes them or avoids discussing them.

(Caveat: The trouble with any distinction is that it's easy to exaggerate it in ways that are oversimplified, and I want to emphasize that this doesn't reduce to "Dick always expresses emotions, Tim is never emotional," or anything like that. Dick has a bunch of complicated feelings about the intensity of his emotions because he values control and detachment and often is trying to be more detached (I talk more about this in the context of anger here and here); Tim often retreats to faux-analytical detachment when he's actually very emotional; and these are tendencies rather than one-note 24/7 truths - Dick is completely capable of intellectualizing away his emotions; Tim is completely capable of just getting straightforwardly and directly upset. But if you're looking for broad distinctions, I think it's fair to say that Dick's usually better at directly using his words and expressing his emotions, even if he sometimes feels self-conscious shame about it later, whereas Tim tends to self-sabotage and deflect and hide by producing intellectualized faux-logic instead of just being direct about what he wants or what he's feeling.)

An unrelated issue is that Tim also tends to get intrusive when he's anxious, and it gets worse the more he cares about you. Tim really really really wants to know what's going on and has an intense Need To Help, which generally works out for him - this is the entire reason he pushes his way into the Batfamily! - but it's easy to imagine Tim running into people who might not appreciate his busybody sneakiness; so e.g. secretly stalking your friend because he has a bruise, or running your friend's DNA, etc., is... stuff that all comes from how much Tim cares, but also it involves a very fuzzy relationship with other people's privacy, so Tim's friendships that stick around tend to be with people who find this kind of intense observation to be caring rather than pushy. Relatedly, Tim's version of "be protective" can overlap with "be condescending," which means he tends to get along best with confident people like Bruce, who could punt him into a wall and who thus finds Tim's 'disapproving medic' shtick endearing instead of insulting.

Tim also struggles to connect to people for whom he doesn't have an obvious "script" or who don't respond to his usual scripts. So e.g. offering Gar a "you don't like me but let's be friends" handshake worked; offering Cass a "let's be friends" handshake worked; offering the same thing to Damian did not go over so well; and I think this kind of "it usually works so this is my habit now?" thing is very Tim, and I don't think it's the sort of mistake that Dick would make.

More broadly, because Tim's people skills are conscious and learned - the effort sometimes shows! He stares at people. He secretly spies on them. He pokes around in their secrets. Dick can be paying close attention to you and seem like he's not, so that his awareness seems effortless and less intrusive. I think Tim's awareness tends to be a bit more effortful.

That said, though, I don't think that Tim's intensely-observing-you shtick is necessarily obvious except to people who are fairly socially-skilled themselves. When I write fanfic, I generally write from Dick's POV, and I tend to write Dick being hyperaware of when, say, Tim's observing him, or trying to figure out what's going on with him. But I think of that as more "Dick's good at reading Tim and really aware of being watched, so every attempt at subtlety stands out in neon lighting," and I think to someone who's less good at reading people than Dick is, Tim is a lot subtler.

And I think for e.g. someone like Cass, who really struggles with people skills, Tim seems impossibly and naturally good at interactions in the same way that to Tim, Dick seems incredibly good at it.

[samwhump]

a (very inexhaustive, wincest-heavy) sam whump reclist

@transfemmesam asked me for Sam whump recs a few days ago, and I've had other requests in the same vein before (I can't imagine why.../s) so I thought I would throw this together, since these authors deserve all of the love and support for their contributions to our li'l fandom corner.

like I mentioned in the title, this is not at all a comprehensive list; I have at least ~200 more fics in my to-read queue that could thematically fit here, but alas, I have stupid shit like a job and a body and a dog to take care of, so. I'm always happy to get recs along these lines, so if you notice anything important missing, hit me UP. (and don't take any omissions as any specific commentary by me -- it's likely I just haven't had the chance to read it yet, haha.)

disclaimers:

some (most, honestly) of these contain potentially triggering and dark content, including but not limited to rape/noncon, torture, and suicidal attempts & ideation. I have tried to note content warnings where applicable, and most of the works are hosted on ao3, so the tags should have most of the information you need to make an informed decision. that being said, tread with caution. all of the summaries provided are from the original author, with warnings added after by me.

the list is in alphabetical order and separated into wincest and gen categories. a lot of the gen is also focused on the sam & dean relationship, because...I am what I am. and what I am a sucker for these two dipshits. there is also a brief section at the end with a few fics that don't fit into either category.

gen

All That Goes Unspoken by amnesiawife:

A case forces Sam to confront something long kept buried. (Set nebulously in season 12.)

CW: discussions of past rape/noncon, victim blaming

Beneath the Trees 'verse by Lise (5 works total, starting with Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees):

Sam doesn't go to Stanford. Everything goes downhill from there.

CW: suicidal ideation

a boy is a cage by ad_castra:

After expelling Gadreel from Sam's body, Dean thinks they're in the clear. If only they were that lucky. // S9 fic wherein Gadreel's grace causes some adverse side-effects in Sam's mind.

CW: past referenced rape/noncon, body horror

body of proof by Askance (doomcountry):

There are things Sam hasn't told his brother. They're all in the envelope laid on Dean's pillow.

CW: heavy discussion of past rape/noncon

break these bones 'til they're better by redskyatmorning:

After Sam’s torture at the hands of the British Men of Letters, the latest in a long string of violations, he is rescued by Dean and Mary – and forced to ponder his broken relationship with his own body. Months later, when Sam is resurrected and tormented by Lucifer yet again, Dean confronts Mary and Sam gets his revenge against the devil.

catching my death (staring out an open window) by ad_castra:

Sam gazes at the window, catches the faint pink hue tinting the sky. It’s so realistic - he could breathe in the fresh air if he were really here. ----- They got Sam out. Sometimes, just knowing that isn't enough.

CW: implied past rape/noncon

Death of Convenience by WilsonTheMoose:

It should have been easy. Wendigos are no joke but daylight slows them. The weather's been unpredictable though and perfect, idyllic hunts don't exactly stay that way where they're concerned. Or Sam has one card to play and never stops to think that Dean would care if he killed himself.

CW: suicidal ideation, references to suicide

Echoes of Hell by The_Nightbreaker:

It wasn't real. He wasn't in Hell anymore. That's what he tried to tell himself over and over. But two centuries of torture don't disappear in a day. Sam struggles with visions of Hell, fighting to maintain his grip on reality. Dean hates that he can't protect his brother from what isn't real—but curse him if he doesn't try. When the boys stumble on a case with ties to the Devil himself, will they be able to pull themselves together in time to stop the sacrifices? Or will the echoes of Hell finally overtake them? Aka, season 7, but the plot is Hell trauma, not leviathans.

CW: suicidal ideation

Evening Shadows by withthekeyisking:

Sam is hallucinating the monster who tortured him for nearly two centuries, Dean feels like he's failing his brother, and a diner waitress bears witness.

CW: past rape/noncon

Everything Dies Given Time by Lise:

AU from 5.03. Sam discovers something wrong with himself, and learns to live with it. Only a lot less functional.

CW: suicide/temporary character death

The Freedom to Be Loud by jribbing:

It hadn’t occurred to Dean that maybe Sam remembered so much about that little nowhere town because something memorable had happened there.

CW: referenced past rape/noncon

golgotha by redskyatmorning:

There’s a vacancy on the throne of hell, and Sam is desperate enough to save Dean from Michael’s possession to give into the abyssal depths of his own darkness.

Head Space by ameliacareful:

A witch curses Sam leaving him blind, deaf, and bedridden. Left with only the inside of his own head and the occasional touch, Sam begins to unravel.

CW: suicidal ideation

Hiraeth by inkandpaperqwerty:

(n.) a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past "Dean... I made a really big mistake." For a second, Dean actually thought things were going okay. He was out of Hell, Sam agreed to stop drinking demon blood, they had just wrapped up a successful hunt... for once, everything was okay. And then it wasn't. "I overdosed." Not at all.

CW: suicide attempts, suicidal ideation

if i could leave (i would've already left) by serendipity0930:

“I have a mission from God for you,” the Angel whispers to the man. “It is time for you to do what you were born to.” The man’s face twists into a smile, delighted over being chosen by Him, a purpose from God digging into his heart, carving out a place to fester. “Hunt.” ... 05x03 AU where Zachariah is even more determined to keep the brothers apart and hunters are all too willing to take Lucifer's True Vessel off the board for good

CW: referenced suicide

It's A River (But Not In Egypt) by Lise:

He's still a liar. Maybe always has been.

CW: toxic Sam/Lucifer dynamics

Kindred Instruments by PinBitch:

They’re in a tug of war and Sam is the rope. He doesn’t need to be alive for that. OR Sam dies in detox, being flung against the walls of a metal box will do that to you. Dean and Ruby pick up the pieces.

CW: temporary main character death, permanent supporting character death

lazarus trick by katsidhe:

Sam's alive, so everything is gonna be okay. 13.22 coda.

Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence by Lise:

Sam's back. He's in one piece. That's the problem.

CW: self-harm

love is like ghosts by redskyatmorning:

I’m poison, Dean had said instead of I’m sorry. Well, Sam wants to say, what does that make me? What the hell does that make me? (A look into Sam's mind in the aftermath of the Gadreel possession.)

The Other Brother by RadioFriday:

Sam and Adam are pulled from the cage at the same time. Sam is not right, and Adam, stuck as his caretaker, is not pleased.

Oxygen by inkandpaperqwerty:

“Cas! Cas, please! Please, answer me! Cas!” Castiel ignores Dean for several minutes, but then Dean gives him an opening that might help him complete his mission. So, he goes to investigate, and what he finds is a very bloody, nearly dead Sam. Dean tells him where the injuries came from, and Castiel quickly becomes confused. It doesn't make sense, but Dean tries to explain it to him, and slowly... Castiel begins to understand.

CW: suicide attempt

Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc by AmberSock:

Sam waits, kneeling, for his execution. What if Dean hadn't missed?

CW: temporary character death

Safety In Distance by GalaxyThreads and SpiritClusters:

The Mark of Cain is a brand of violence. Sam was an idiot to think that he'd be exempt from it, just because he and Dean are siblings.

sometimes a kind of singing by adi_rotynd:

Sam gets cursed. They're dealing with it. Jack can see souls. That one they're not dealing with quite as well.

CW: past referenced rape/noncon

Soul Windows by GalaxyThreads and Spirit Clusters:

A few months after his birth, Jack learns how to see souls. Then he comes to a realization about the Winchester brothers, Sam in particular, and it's not a pleasant one. (gen)

Starry Night by keepcalmsmile:

Sam attempts suicide-by-monster. Dean tries to help. It sort of works...until it doesn't.

CW: suicide attempts, suicidal ideation

such fragile, broken things by The_Bookkeeper:

Sam wishes that Dean would just get it over with already.

The Tale of Sir Galahad by keepcalmsmile:

Sam once said he could never be clean like Sir Galahad. Dean assumed he was just talking about the demon blood. Turns out, Sam was talking about something else too. WARNING: Extended discussions of the aftermath of rape and childhood sexual abuse (but NO description of the actual events). Happy(ish) ending, but potentially very triggering.

CW: past rape/noncon, mentioned CSA

They Hammered in His Teeth by jribbing:

Sam has a secret.

CW: suicidal ideation

today's troubles (are history tomorrow) by a_good_soldier:

"It's not really something I know how to share," Sam had said. In which Dean figures he ought to help Sam out a bit.

Touch and Go by themegalosaurus:

Tag to 9.19 (Alex Annie Alexis Ann) in which Dean realises why, exactly, Sam is so angry about what happened with Gadreel.

trust fall by ad_castra:

“I’m nothing like you,” Sam hisses. Nevermind relating to the anguish of going it alone. Nevermind that he knows what it is to be strapped down and forcibly cleansed against his will. Sam wonders if these trials are purifying Crowley as well. 

Words Like Glass by broken_cinders:

Dean never figured the cage wouldn't leave a mark. He was prepared for memories, flashbacks, and nightmares. He wasn't expecting the words Sam brought back with him or the way they made him seem just a breath beyond Dean's reach.

Wound and Unwound by fascra:

Sam stops eating spring of his freshman year.

CW: eating disorder

wincest (dean/sam)

Brittle by thecapn:

Sam Winchester has an eating disorder.

CW: eating disorder

Don't You Cry No More by sixtysevenlmpala (schittyfic):

The first time Sam gets badly hurt on a hunt, he doesn’t cry. Dean does.

Fall On Your Knees by dollylux:

Sam doesn't quite make it home on the last day of school before winter break.

The Fall Will Probably Kill You by killabeez:

Set between 7.04 and the aftermath of 7.07. Dean is not as okay as he'd like you to think. Neither is Sam.

CW: self-harm

Feels so good to feel again by Trojie:

The pain keeps Lucifer at bay, at least to start with.

Follow In Your Form by withthekeyisking:

Sam is hallucinating Lucifer in the wake of Cas bringing his Hell Wall crashing down. To make matters worse, it seems like this has his dormant powers flaring back to life.

Last Temptation by merle_p:

Sam is running a fever again, the kind of fever no Ibuprofen or cold compress will bring down, the kind of fever that is eating him up alive, eviscerating him from the inside. He is too hot and too cold and too pale, delirious and shaking, resonating with whatever divine energy the trials are subjecting him to, and Dean is not sure how much longer he can stand to see him be in this state. Because Sam is quite possibly dying, and there is nothing Dean can do to stop it. Because Sam is dying, and he just. Won’t. Shut. Up.

CW: mentioned past rape/noncon

leeches by Anonymous:

Sam discovers a spell to make everybody forget him. He’s convinced it’s for the best. Pre-Stanford.

CW: attempted kidnapping/torture

Make Thick My Blood by themegalosaurus:

“You’re going to kill me, Dean,” Sam says, eventually. And all Dean can say is, “I think I am.” A season 10 AU, set after 10x14 ('The Executioner's Song'). Cas finds a solution that might cure the Mark of Cain; but if they're going to go through with it, Sam has a terrible price to pay.

CW: mentioned past rape/noncon

Prophecy of an Abomination by ashitanoyuki:

Sam is kidnapped by fanatically religious hunters and crucified. Coming back from this won't be easy. Canon-divergent from midway through season 2.

Recall by De_Nugis:

Sam's having a hard time telling what's real and what isn't, especially when it comes to some voicemails from Dean.

The Room Upstairs by brokenlittleboy:

Sam comes back from hell, but he’s inside-out and all wrong, and Dean can’t fix him.

CW: mentioned past rape/noncon

Ruin You (and its companion fic Worth) by Mumble_Bee:

Cole fucks Sam with Demon!Dean watching from a devil's trap, snarling that anyone would dare touch what was his. “I told you I don’t care what you do to his face or his blood or his fucking nose,” Dean growled, “but you put your dick anywhere near him and I will end you.” “Better hurry up then, Dean, because I don’t think I can wait much longer.”

CW: explicit rape/noncon

Snowed In by HelloStarlingFics:

When working a case, Sam and Dean get stuck out in a shack in the woods when the snow comes in hard and fast. Trouble is, Sam’s hated the cold ever since the Cage. Time for Dean to step up and look after him.

Wake by minchout:

Gadreel has had Sam for four years, and Dean, lost in guilt and obsessed with finding a way to get his brother back, has isolated himself in a cabin in the Missouri Ozarks with nothing but the woods, a stray dog, some chickens, and all the books the Men of Letters had to offer to keep him company. Then Sam shows up one day without his passenger, and Dean learns quickly that it doesn't matter that Sam is with him again - there is still a lot of work to be done before they can find their way back to each other.

Wanting to Forget by morganaDW (morgana07):

1-shot. S1 fic. After getting Sam freed from the Benders Dean thinks all he has to cope with is some bruises and cuts. He learns quickly just how wrong he is when Sam wakes up with a nightmare, reliving his brief but bad captivity in every detail. Sam just wants to forget & Dean has to try to get him to let him help. Will one night of cruelty and pain ruin what’s been formed between them?

CW: referenced past rape/noncon

when I wake up I'm afraid, somebody else might take my place by quake_quiver:

Sam doesn’t remember the last time he cried for Dean like he did that night. And now it’s been…two weeks. Maybe more. Sam is tired, and in pain, and starting to doubt that Dean’s going to show up. He’s weak and shaking from a combination of constant pain and hunger. Sam longs for Dean. Dean would make it better. Dean would fix it.

CW: rape/noncon, body horror

Wire Inside Me by merle_p:

There are a lot of things Sam hates about his current condition, to the point where he sometimes feels for the gun under his pillow at night, blindly toys with the safety, imagines pressing the muzzle into the underside of his chin and pulling the trigger just to make it stop. But there’s nothing he hates as much as the shadows he sees in Dean’s eyes whenever his brother is looking at him these days. It’s not an expression he remembers ever seeing before, but Sam thinks it’s probably something like revulsion. Horror. Disgust. What else could it be.

CW: referenced past rape/noncon, body horror, forced pregnancy

Worth (and its companion fic Ruin You) by Mumble_Bee:

Episode 10x01 "Black" where Dean is a human, and very, very, pissed off to hear someone has hands on his brother. “It’s nothing personal,” Cole whispered into Sam's ear, too quietly for Dean to hear, “but I need to kill your brother, and I need him off his game when he gets here. I don’t wanna hurt you, kid, but I’m going to, anyway. I’m going to hurt you a lot."

CW: explicit rape/noncon

you'll never see us again by according2thelore:

Then finally, his eyes trail over to Dean. His pupils are pin-point thin, and his hair is straggling in his face so Dean can’t see most of what expression lies there. Sam usually wakes up from nightmares in one of three attitudes: confusion, fear, or calm. A scary, sense-prickling calm that Dean hates more than anything else. Resignation, almost. Or: Sam suffers from nightmares and touch starvation post-Cage. They do their best to deal.

other Sam/Lucifer noncon

Cage Fight (No Way To Do This Right) by Dyed_Red:

Sam’s visit to the cage is already going awry, but Dean’s one-man rescue ends up skidding it sideways into territory neither him or Sam are ready for. (Gratuitous episode scene re-write. If Cas hadn’t come till after, if he hadn’t been there yet when Dean ran down to the 'parole' cage after hearing Sam scream - how bad could it have got for the brothers before he made it?)

CW: graphic rape/noncon

Into Being by withthekeyisking:

When Sam wakes up in the cave on Apocalypse World after having been killed by vamps, it's not just to find Lucifer there with him. It's to find him in him.

CW: graphic rape/noncon, necrophilia, forced pregnancy

Reggie/Tim/Sam noncon

a pointless resistance for you by withthekeyisking:

Sam doesn't know how long he's been with Tim and Reggie by the time Dean shows up and tries to take him out of there. Long enough that's he's already lost one baby and is pregnant with the next. Long enough that this life is starting to feel like all he knows.

CW: graphic rape/noncon, forced pregnancy & miscarriage, victim blaming

screaming birds sound an awful lot like singing by withthekeyisking:

Sam has done his best to move past what Tim and Reggie did to him, pretending it never happened at all. But running into them again makes that very difficult—especially when Dean gets involved.

CW: referenced past rape/noncon

Waste 'Em All by withthekeyisking:

When Tim and Reggie try to force the demon blood down Sam's throat, he spits it back out. He has no interest in being turned into their own personal attack dog. They don't...take it well.

CW: explicit rape/noncon

[chuuyasheaven]

5,10,12 with chuuya and dazai (separately) pls.. as in Oral sex (fem receiving)!!!

Prompt/Number; 5: “I know you can take it, baby/angel.”/ 10: “You taste so sweet, darling.”/ 12: “Let me hear your sweet moans, baby/princess.”

Summary; Soukoku pleasing the virgin!fem!Reader (separately)! <3

Warnings; Oral (fem! receiving), Petnames, Teasing (in Dazai’s Part), Virgin!Reader, Praise kink, Chuuya being pussydrunk, fingering maybe, Suicidal jokes (Dazai, what do you expect??), Chuuya starlight up worshipping us fr, etc.

Notes (from me); Normally, i don’t do this but since i don’t have school for a week, i might aswell let that slide lol. Enjoy! 🤭

It’s your first time doing this, letting Dazai have access to your pussy.

Of course, you trust him very much, but you still wanna take things slow, meaning he’ll let you know how it is getting pleased by his tongue.

Still nervous, Dazai just tries to assure you that you’ll get sent straight to heaven when he’ll start.

With his hand gripping your thighs, that were placed on his shoulders, he makes one last suicidal joke.

“I wouldn’t mind dying like this, suffocating between your thighs would be the best way to enter hell, Bella, y’know?”, you were impatient as Dazai’s breath kept brushing against your wet cunt, waiting for him to go down on it.

“Whatever, can we s-start already..?”, Dazai chuckled as he decided this was the right time to tease.

“Growing impatient, i see. Well, darling, I’ll get you straight to heaven, hm?”, you wanted to respond as you got cut of by a moan from yourself.

It was Dazai, he started with a long, simple lick. Which made you lose your mind.

Now, i don’t blame you, it’s his tongue we should blame, right?

You were so embarrassed by that moan that cut you off, you tried to keep it down, which Dazai despised.

Therefore he added a finger to press against your clit, making you lose yet another moan.

“That’s right, let me hear your sweet moans, princess. If I’m pleasuring you, i want to hear how good I’m at it.”, this man, he always knew how to put his mouth to good use, didn’t he?

“S-shut up..i know your a-already aware of it..”, “You’re right, you’re getting wetter each second, Bella. Should be proof enough, don’t you agree?”, Dazai wasn’t lying, his voice and tongue were responsible for this.

He went back to making out with your pussy, going back to rubbing on your bud.

“But it’s okay, you taste sweet, darling. The more the better, am i right?”, you were getting closer each lick, each rub made the knot in your stomach closer to explode. The pleasure became too much for you.

“T-too much..D-dazai, c-can’t take it- it’s overwhelming m-me!”, you forced past your lips, trying not to moan during.

“I know you can take it, angel. I’m almost done, okay?”, Dazai claimed, he was right once again, because you were about to snap in a mere seconds.

Finally, the sweet release hit you right to the ninth cloud of heaven.

“See? Feels so good, right?”

“Are you sure you’re ready, doll?” Chuuya asked as he kneeled down to face your bare cunt.

“Y-yes, I’m ready, please me, Chuuya.”, Chuuya smirked at this.

He kissed it lightly, making your breath hitch.

But he wanted to hear more.

Chuuya dived into your pussy like it was his last meal, which made it more difficult to stay quiet.

“Let me hear your sweet moans, baby. Maybe they’re more pretty than this pussy, hm?”, oh god, Chuuya really knows how to get you off, doesn’t he?

But, since it’s literally impossible to stay quiet, you let go.

Just how he wanted.

This encouraged him to treat your cunt with all the wet licks and kisses it deserves.

This made you loose your mind, Chuuya was really going at it-

“You taste so fuckin' sweet, angel. Fuck, i can't believe i get to fuck this pussy, aren't you excited, baby?”, oh how right he was.

The knot was about to snap when Chuuya suddenly pulled away, making you whine at the loss.

“Chuuya? W-why did you- oh god..!”, Chuuya let two fingers enter the wet, begging pussy of yours.

He still had his gloves on, but you didn't care, because they were a new level of pleasure, one you couldn't handle so well.

Chuuya moved his fingers in scissor-motion, this almost made you scream.

He really was skilled with his hands..

All this was way too much for you- i mean, all at once? This was wild.

“C-chuuya..s-slow down- it's t-t'much..!”, Chuuya was already deep into your cunt, already too pussydrunk of you. He couldn't bring himself to stop.

“Come on, please- i know you can take it, angel.”, you don't exactly know what has gotten into Chuuya, but his needyness made you cum in an instant.

As the waves of your high hit you, you hear Chuuya undo his belt.

“I felt you on my tongue and on my fingers, it wouldn't be fair to leave my cock out, right, baby?”

I think i made Chuuyaʼs WAY to short..but i hope you enjoyed it! 💔 (could've been better tho..)

[netherworldpost]

SHOP NEWS NO DATES BUT PROGRESS IS BEING MADE

The Netherworld Post Office back office, handling private client work, did not have it's expected slow season. Which is good! Production testing is very expensive!

But also I worked myself ill, which was a bad idea!

I'll be fine in a few days.

Or depending on when you read this soon-to-be-pinned everywhere post, I'm fine now!

Over the last several months, I looked at the hard question "hey why aren't we open on the public side?" and it hit me:

Instead of following through with the plan, I was sneakily trying to re-create Evil Supply Co.

Side note: If that name is familiar, but this doesn't make sense, then the short answer:

@evilsupplyco closed in Summer 2019.

I am Atticus of Evil Supply Co. Hi!

I got into a traffic accident, the ensuing next few years Covid wrecked the world, life has been intense :)

The Netherworld Post crew is the same crew behind Evil Supply Co. and we changed/are changing the name because the new shop is going to be spooky-mail-focused as opposed to experimenting with... spooky... everything.

In September or so, just before our back office busy season started, I realized I had been saying "I'm going to focus on what we do best -- greeting cards -- and everything else is secondary."

I. Uh. Kept adding things anyway. To the... list. And making. New. Lists.

(gulp)

(learn from me, don't do that)

So in the depths of Intense Client Work and then laying on a couch for several days to allow my drawing arm to heal and my brain to slow down, I realized I had been violating what I set out to do:

Make a really fun, very inexpensive, greeting card company that sells the occasional zine, and has lots of useful downloads. Some pay-if-you-want (free if you don't), some a few dollars.

...this image... hurts my feelings... because it was this is what was happening to me.

I've learned a lot in the last several months --

I'm going to recover fully.

Send all the files lingering to test print one last time.

Then when they come back, the shop opens.

A handful of weeks at most.

I wanted to launch with DOZENS of greeting cards and A HUNDRED downloads and THIRTY ZINES and and and and and and and and --

-- and we're going to launch with about 10 greeting cards, probably 5 or 6 downloads, and zines will wait while we add more greeting cards and downloads etc.

I am admittedly REALLY EMBARRASSED to be preparing a shop launch SO SMALL after SO LONG.

(I'll get over it. We'll add new stuff regularly forever.)

mailing list: netherworldpost.com

Sign up! If you're already on it, the tech witches auto-sort to ensure you're not being bombarded with a million emails.

(Actual conversation with the crew. I wanted to draw all of this out and my producer Fang was like "hey why don't you instead use that time to work on the actual drawing list instead" and I was like "great idea thank you")

one last time, mailing list: netherworldpost.com

[cookiesupplier]

Every Rose Has It's Thorns - Part One

pairing: Ricky Olson x ofc (Talia)

warnings/tropes: slow burn, soulmates, strangers to enemies to lovers, betrayal, angst, fluff, smut, language, betrayal. (potentially more to be added?)

summary: In a world where soulmates inexplicably receive a tattoo that will match that of their soulmate the moment they turn eighteen years old, being famous and covered in very visible tattoos can make finding your true soulmate a questionable fate. Not that it is any easier for the soulmate in question. Thus is the fate for Ricky and Talia. Sooner or later, however, life is bound to collide, but what will happen when it does?

author’s note: Part ONE, as usual unbeta'd and will just throw my jumbled words at you and ask you to love them. I don't know how long this series will be yet, I am playing by ear to having a feel for this story and where it will take me.

tags: If you would like to be added feel free to ask, please let me to know whether to this list specifically or in general.

~~

Talia forever would hate the day she learned about soulmate tattoos. Well, marks, they weren’t really tattoos as far as she was concerned. Just because they were intricate images like tattoos, some of them anyway. Some of them were nothing but simple stick figures that little children could draw, the reason that everyone called them tattoos was because they were artwork that was permanently inked to a person’s skin and could never be taken off. Unlike real tattoos though, no needle needed to be taken to your skin for them, there was no ink, no pain, no healing. Everyone got their mark.

On your eighteenth birthday, at the exact moment you were born, your mark appeared. If you were born at five thirteen in the morning, or exactly a minute before midnight, that was the moment that your mark was going to appear. You couldn’t predict what it was. You couldn’t predict where it would be. There was no rhyme or meaning behind them.

Some people used to think that there was an emotional meaning connecting the pair with the tattoo. However, Talia found that hard to believe when there were people that had literally poop emoji as their soulmate tattoo on their ass, out there in the world, oh yes, they were out there, she was well aware. Her cousin, Gemma’s best friend, was her soulmate tattoo. The poor girl, Talia actually hoped that she didn’t find her soulmate if there was truth that there was something linking them emotionally with that emoji, because no.

Not everyone found their soulmate, not everyone wanted to. Some people actively avoided looking at their soulmates because honestly, it took the surprise out of life, and where was the fun of that? The joy of falling in love, and the hope and thrill of putting your heart on the line and wondering, is this the person? Is this the person that fate had chosen for you, the one you were meant to be with?

Talia would never know that feeling.

She knew who her soulmate was the very moment her mark appeared, and the shock that she felt was something that she couldn’t even put words to. Seeing that tattoo appear, one that she knew. One that she’d seen on fansites of one of her favourite bands more than once, and in the same place.. If it wasn’t in the same place it wouldn’t have been him. If it wasn’t in the same place she wouldn’t have been in the position she was in now. If it was just the same image, and not the same place, it would have just been an uncanny coincidence.

This wasn’t just some uncanny thing.

It was real.

Problem was, it was all over the fansites, and Talia had never kept it any secret how much she loved Motionless In White. Especially Ricky Horror.

So when the day she turned eighteen came and she turned up with the exact tattoo that all the fansites claimed was his soulmate tattoo but he always refused to confirm, what famous person would confirm and have millions come out of the woodwork claiming to be their soulmate? Well, it was safe to say, she was ripped apart by so many people that she at least used to think were her friends.

Her true friends, all these years later, were down to three. Three people that in no way would ever bag on her for the rose tattoo that not so innocently sat on her neck, and none of them dared mention anymore.

Years.

Talia used to try.

Despite the cruelty of those around her treating her like some psychotic obsessed fangirl that had gone and gotten the tattoo on her birthday just to fool the man into being with her. She’d loved going to concerts, not just to try and meet Ricky, despite the assumption, but also for the music, thank you very much, but yes, for Ricky. How could she not want to meet the man whose very soul was marked on her skin for the rest of her life? Whose life had been marked with hers longer than hers had been marked with his…

There had been close calls over the years, when she almost got to meet him. The closest had been the time when she’d actually managed to get a VIP ticket to a concert. Sure it was two states over, and she had to fly there and take some time off work, but the fact that she’d managed to save up, and get the ticket at all.

Ava, Jordan and Kyle had all helped her. The three people in her life that had never, not once, ever questioned that mark on her skin and who the other person on the other end was.

Even her family had made her wonder if she was a little insane for thinking that Ricky Horror was her soulmate. Her mother had been so obvious in her effort to placate her, never once did she feel like her family thought that maybe, just maybe, did they believe her. Her father actually suggested she get medical help more than once. Not surprisingly though, there were therapists that did specialise in the effects of the soulmate bond and sometimes delusions that could come from them. The day her father made her appointment with one of them though, was the day she decided to move out of her parents house.

Thankfully Ava had a spare room and was more than happy to split rent with her.

Oh, and that VIP ticket that she got?

She didn’t make it there in time.

One thing happened after another that night, and you could call it a disaster of fate, and in hindsight, she should have seen it coming. Maybe it was a product of fate. Maybe the whole thing with the soulmate tattoos were always going to be wrong and hers was just sitting on her skin to taunt her.

First, her client appointment ran late, and if she had tried to end it early so she could make it to the airport in time, she would have risked losing her job. Not that it would have mattered considering her flight had been delayed anyway, and then by the time they were finally about to board they cancelled it and had to get her onto a different flight. A different flight which meant she didn’t even get there in time to get into her VIP meet and greet in time.

She got to go to the concert.

She got her VIP merch.

After all that, beaten down with the day behind her, her hotel booked and not needing to be at the airport for the flight home until late the next day, she decided to wait to see if she could catch them after the show.. Until she saw him, finally. The smile lit up her face as she saw Ricky pass them by.. Talia had wanted to say something, but when they were actually talking to the fans she was stuck behind some idiot and blocked out of the way, and by the time she managed to elbow her way through, they’d already been ushered on by security.. Not that it mattered when he saw one of the people he was with. His new girlfriend, hand in hand.

It had been an amazing night.. But one that had ended with her in heartbreak.

That was the night that was the beginning of the end for Talia’s attempts to meet Ricky. After so many trips to see their concerts, and try to see him, this last one, this VIP trip, was when she saw him walking back to his tour bus with his new, pretty girlfriend. He was smiling at her so bright, holding her hand between them.

It wouldn’t have killed her as much, except he looked so happy.

Sure, Talia had no doubt he’d had girlfriends before, she’d dated guys, but Ricky had never been open on social media about any of his relationships. This girl though, he was very vocal about. Talia, she couldn’t destroy that, soulmate or not.

Not everyone wanted their soulmate, not everyone wanted their soulmate. She supposed she couldn’t blame him, he was famous, that had to be hard, after all, nearly every single person that knew who her mark connected her too thought she’d was just some psychotically obsessed fan. Why wouldn’t he?

So life moved on.

Talia moved on.

However, if she had to endure one more pathetic attempt to set her up on a blind day from her mother, her brain might explode. Ever since she’d given up on her soulmate tattoo, not that she’d talked to mother about it in years, her mother’s attempts to interest her in someone else had only increased. Now though, the moment the inevitable subject of soulmates came up, she never knew what to say. More often than not, the date came to a dead stop then and there just from what he said even before she could open her mouth. Too many people went on blind dates in hope of meeting the one. She knew she wasn’t that person, and there was no second date then.

Sitting at her desk and looking up from her sketch patch when her phone started going off repeatedly, she was working on a new piece for one of her long-time clients, he was slowly working on a full tattoo sleeve and this was the next addition she was designing, provided he liked what she worked up. He hadn’t yet, but there was always a first time.

Trying to ignore the alerts on her phone to focus wasn’t going to happen, but she needed to take a lunch break anyway. So she set her pencil down, picked up her phone and set to go make herself a cup of coffee.

When she saw who the messages were from, she glanced up to the front of the tattoo palour to one of the culprits, Ava.. she was right there at the reception desk, flicking through a magazine like she didn’t have a care in the world, typical. Shaking her head with a smirk as she opened the messenger app to her friend groups chat to see what the three of them had been gossiping about back and forth.

Kyle: Hey guys, we’re still on for tonight? Jordan: Party girl, you still in? Ava: Oh, I’ll get her there, she’d got her head in her work, like usual today, you know her. Jordan: Oh come ON, TALIA! BIRTHDAY GIRL! Kyle: T, Darling, I did not agree to double shifts to get the night off for you to BAIL! Ava: Kyle! Cool your jets, she’ll be there!

It had been a few moments since the last message, she knew they’d been planning on taking her out to a bar for her birthday for weeks, she hated going out on her birthday, she hated it. It always reminded her of the fucking tattoo on her neck. It shouldn’t. Everyone talked about soulmate tattoos on their birthday. Counting down the years and remembering how they felt when they first saw theirs, or when they first met their soulmate.. When all she wanted was to forget she ever got her mark at all.

She understood Kyle’s frustration though, he was a nurse, and sometimes getting time off for a night out was difficult for him. Kyle and Jordan were fucking lucky, they were soulmates, two of her best friends, known each other since they were in diapers, had been joined at the hip since middle school. The biggest worry they’d ever had was if they were soulmates at all. When Jordan had gotten his mark two months before Kyle, they’d agreed if Kyle didn’t have the same, they wouldn’t care, and lo and behold, two months later, sure enough, Kyle did.

It was actually scary really thinking about it, the way the marks worked.. How if you got your mark years before your soulmate, they could be out there and have no idea. She was younger than Ricky by years, and she wondered sometimes what he must have been thinking, how he must have felt. Some people never met their soulmate, some people never got the chance, and it wasn’t by choice. You knew when you lost the choice, if your tattoo changed from black to white on your skin, then it meant your soulmate had died.

Talia’s of course was still very much black. Not that it mattered. Ricky was out there, not looking, and neither was she. He was happy with someone else, and who was she to ruin that for him.

After she pushed the button on the coffee maker she looked back down to her phone and tapped out a message on her phone.

Talia: I’ll be there Ky, be prepared to die by shots.

[wystericwoes]

Doomed, Sukuna x reader Pt. 2

Masterlist

Warnings: Cursing, violence, gore, descriptions of blood/death, anxiety, it’s JJK so death and fighting are inevitable. Season 1 and Movie 0 spoilers

Adding a whole new character to a pre-established story means some things in the canon are going to be changed. I try my best to stay on the same line and remain honorable to the original characters personalities/timelines so keep that in mind if something doesn't make sense. Or give me some feedback! I'd love to hear it.

“He was her dark fairytale and she was his twisted fantasy. Together they made magic.”

His state was laughable.

To say Sukuna felt a storm of emotions was the understatement of the fucking century.

He’s going crazy. That’s it. He’s been away from his own soul and was in his own domain for so long he’s hallucinating.

“Yuuji is currently harboring a special grade curse. I told you he never ceases to impress me!”

Gojo said with confidence, Yuuji smiled from the compliment.

You locked eyes back to where the second pair was, but when you went to look back all that was there were two eye shaped scars.

“A special grade curse? Like the thing I saw?”

“Oh no. That was just a grade 3. A special grade is the highest level, almost in the same league as I am.”

You didn’t know the extent of Gojo's power, so whenever he would say shit like that you didn’t really have a frame of reference. So, you took most of what he said with a grain of salt, because assuming there was a reason for all his confidence and it wasn't all just talk- that he was actually as strong as he said he was, made you feel abnormally peeved.

That brief second you had seen those eyes you felt a sense of Deja vu. But not a nostalgic one, one that stuck with you like a glue trap.

Life moved on. You met the other students and teachers, slowly sinking into this new and flawed reality that has become your life. Gojo never leaves your side the whole day.

Your attempts at channeling cursed energy were a total bust. And quite frankly- very embarrassing.

You tried everything that your very annoying mentor told you.

“Focus”

“Breathe.”

“Think of something negative.”

"Try thinking about things that stress you out."

"Try a reallyyy bad memory!"

"What's something that gets you angry?"

“Close your eyes and count to five, then start again.”

“Have you tried breathing?”

You couldn’t conjure anything. It’s like you didn’t even have powers at all.

You felt like both a disappointment and like giving up. Gojo kept on fucking insisting that you keep trying for some reason. He would just not let it go.

“Maybe you’re just a slow learner. That’s fine- “

You groaned in frustration.

“Maybe I don’t have any ‘magic powers’ and I’m just really unlucky and can only see them.”

At first you were excited, you had superpowers. What could you do??

But that opinion slowly changed as the sun began to set. It had felt like hours that you were out here trying all these moves and techniques. After so many times hitting the air and straining your muscles you began to feel ridiculous.

You had barely even seen it in action, so you didn’t even have anything to go off of

You were about to give up when Gojo stood behind you and put a hand on your shoulder, fanning his breath against your ear.

“Come on. Just one more try, hm?”

He snaked his hand down from your shoulder to your waist, and with the other one he held your arm out.

Heat rose to your cheeks as you tried to hide the increasing tension that he had created.

“Think of something that makes you feel strong emotion.”

The first thing that came to mind was what it would feel like to fuck the man behind you. Was he doing this on purpose?

What he was into, all the positions. If he’s really as strong as you think he is what could he do to you?

Images flashed through your mind of the not holiest of things, your body heated up as he rested his chin on your shoulder, and you struggled to keep your hand held out as goosebumps were sent down your spine from how close he was to you. Each breath sent a shock through your body as you grew increasingly more sensitive.

He was definitely doing this on purpose.

“Satoru…” you had whispered out.

His hand on your waist moved down to your hips as he began to squeeze harder, that made you feel something carnal. A warmth spread through your body, and you suddenly felt electric as the tips of your fingers lightly pulsed.

You were facing him, faces so close you thought he would kiss you.

He went to nibble on your earlobe which elicited a small moan from the sudden sensation.

His chin rested back on your shoulder.

“Look.” He whispered softly in your ear.

You looked forward for the first time in a moment and noticed a white light was emitting itself from your hand.

“WOAH!”

You were shocked out of it, and it quickly flickered out and died as you jumped back further into Gojo's arms.

“Easy now…” he supported your weight as you leaned against him for support.

“That… did that happen?”

Your heart was racing.

“Mhm.”

He spun you around by your waist as you looked at where his eyes are through the blindfold. You didn’t know if he could see you, but you pretended he could.

“I did that.”

“You sure did.”

He was smiling warmly as if he had just accomplished something.

“You’re not fucking with me?”

“Nope”

“You didn’t do that.”

“Correct!”

“I did that.”

You awkwardly laughed.

“How?”

“I knew you could.”

That praise he had given you along with his smile drove you mad. You both wanted to kiss him and pounce on him and hug him. All at once maybe.

"Go rest. You deserve it."

You felt accomplished and proud of yourself. although a bit disappointed he didn't want to come with you, you took a win as a win, and happily walked away.

The second you turned the corner, his smile dropped.

Gojo returned to his home, deep in thought.

he took his blindfold off and took in his surroundings.

It didn't make any sense. You didn't make any sense.

His whole worldview had been shifted within the span of two days. There's never been many points where the great Gojo Satoru had been completely stumped. Well, he had his theories. But those were just theories. had to figure out how to test them.

He paced around his house as he contemplated whether or not to ask for help. His pride was inflated, but he could admit when he was unable to do something.

Gojo: NANAMIIINN~ I have a question.

Nanami: Do you need to ask me?

Gojo: You're the only one who knows how to keep a secret- everyone else blabs :(

Nanami: That entirely depends on your question, Gojo.

Gojo: Has any sorcerer you ever know ever used reversed curse magic on accident?

Nanami: Why would I know that any better than you?

Gojo: I really need help.

Nanami: How serious is it?

Gojo: If I'm asking you for help...

Nanami: I have a mission tomorrow and will be at the academy for a brief period. If you catch me before then and keep it quick, we can talk.

Gojo: Ok!!! what time is your mission?

Gojo: Nanami?

Gojo: NANNAAAMMMIIIIIIIII >:0

Gojo tossed his phone aside. He had a blank expression on his face.

Every time he would find an answer there’s be more questions. One step toward two steps back

"What are you hiding, Y/n..."

The next day Gojo had left early before you’d be awake when Nanami always gets up (how he is always at work at 5:30 precisely is beyond him)

He sat impatiently tapping his finger at Nanami's desk reading “5:28”

Just before Gojo was tempted to start digging through his stuff Nanami walked in.

“Now, what’s the issue?”

Nanami sat with his elbow on the desk fist clenched against his mouth.

“I see.”

“When I tell you to keep this a secret, I mean it.”

Nanami understood when Gojo was being serious, which was exceptionally rare- and respected that.

“I have no interest in sharing this information.”

He sat deep in thought eyebrows furrowed and eyes closed.

“And I’ve never heard of anything like that, no.”

“I figured.” He sat with the chair facing backwards and his legs on either side.

“You should go to Shoko about this. I’m afraid this isn’t something I know much about.”

“It’s not just that, there’s more to it.”

Nanami listened respectfully as he began dutifully typing away on his computer and started working.

“I can’t see them, Nanami.”

At that he stopped typing, eyes slightly widening.

“I don’t know much, but I know three things. They have a subliminal cursed technique protecting them from six eyes, they naturally used reversed cursed energy, and- “

He took a deep breath.

“Sukuna has been awfully quiet since they arrived.”

Gojo wasn’t proud of seeking help. But Nanami was one of the closest things he had to a friend, and he was the only person he knew at the academy that had no incentive to tell anyone like Mei Mei for money, or power.

The thing about him was that he was loved by everyone but also- no one could fucking stand him. He knows that most his fellow faculty was not above snitching him out to the higher ups or using his emotions against him. Finding a weakness for him was rare after all.

But also, he was consistently lying to everyone around him about you. So, if they had found out about this, there would’ve been too many questions. And being entirely honest with people was sometimes so tiring.

Gojo's desperation was a new look on him. He managed to keep most of it under wraps around you and his peers, but he was losing it.

He had one option left wherein he could get answers.

Hidden to only a select few is a sacred library of sorcerer archives. There it contains every recorded detail of jujutsu history, every student, every crime and name.

It was buried deep within the thousand doors by Tengen, alongside the special grade curses.

It was dusty, and papers with engravings on them were sprawled in every corner.

He shifted through books trying to find what he was looking for, or anything relating to his situation.

There were thousands of years of history, documents, death dates, curses, and the works. He went over all of those without a second glance.

“Reverse cursed energy”

Was the first title to grab his attention.

He flipped through the pages at an ungodly speed, until he reached the page of all known documented users who have used mastered reverse cursed energy.

Present time: (2000- )

-Shoko Ieiri

status- active duty

A very skilled woman who serves as the school's doctor. Has a full understanding and mastery of the technique.

-Geto Suguru

status- deceased

A special-grade sorcerer whose activity was hard to monitor after he went rogue. Not much is known about all he’s capable of except that he can access the technique with the skill of at least a Grade 1 sorcerer. During his time at the academy, he was incredibly skilled, and most likely had control over the technique.

-Kinji Hakari

status- student

A third-year student of immense potential currently suspended for clashing with authority. He has demonstrated immense control over the technique and has a promising future outside his behavioral conflicts.

-Gojo Satoru

status- active duty

A current teacher at Jujutsu high, along with many other mastered techniques he also demonstrates a full control over this technique.

-Okkotsu Yuta

status- student

One of the youngest special-grade sorcerers, Yuta's powers are still not fully understood. A prodigy-born sorcerer who without any extensive training can use it at a skilled level. With no prior knowledge of reverse cursed energy, he successfully healed his peers using the technique in the battle of Geto's invasion.

A person having natural control over reversed cursed energy or knowing it without being taught wasn’t completely unheard of.

What stumped Gojo was that it was the first ever cursed technique you used, and just how enigmatic you were overall. All while being seemingly unaware.

This had proved to be almost entirely useless. He flipped through the pages again scanning to see if anything else would be helpful, he almost skipped past the historical section in the old archives, but decided looking at it wouldn’t hurt.

He browsed through alphabetically of all known sorcerers to have used the technique at a profound mastery or skilled level.

When he got to R something stood out.

Ryomen Sukuna

And just like that, the first red string had been drawn across the cork board tying a correlation.

He closed the book. Somehow a little more satisfied and more frustrated than when he first went in.

Sukuna. Sukuna. Sukuna.

You said his name over and over again in your mind like a prayer.

When Gojo mentioned that name you couldn’t get over that odd feeling that came over you

You wanted to be near him again. But also felt a gut-wrenching nervousness overcome you. Drawn to him like an addictive substance, something you can tell will be bad for you, but you just can't get enough.

Deep deep down something told you to run.

But you suppressed that carnal urge and instead let your brain guide you to your innate desire to know more about him.

You assumed because of curiosity. People can actually get possessed? Well, Yuuji didn’t look very possessed. I mean, all you had to base was on movies, so your judgment wasn’t exactly valid. You didn't know what to look for, blood from the nose, head spinning backward, ominous floating?

You speculated on that until you heard footsteps approaching your door. You were excited because you wanted to see Gojo.

You jumped up to open your door and instead of being met with him, you were met by Yuuji.

“Um hey, I’m supposed to bring you down so we can be briefed on a mission.”

He seemed hesitant; you assumed it was just because he didn’t know you that well.

“Mission...?”

You were so mad at Gojo. His pretty ass face didn’t make it up to you this time.

The day after you managed to conjure up the smallest amount of energy, he lets you be thrown headfirst into the actual field.

“This is going to be a way to test your range of abilities and get some hands-on experience!” That is what he told you before he left to go far away for something. He said that he was gonna be gone away for a while and was gonna be far.

So, then it was you, a man with glasses and dark hair, and three high school students.

The man with the glasses barely spoke a word on the drive there. You were going in almost completely blind, in this scenario you wondered if ignorance was truly bliss.

The remains of a long abandoned middle school. The sky was cloudy, the air was stale. You already didn’t like the feeling of this place.

The man in black addressed the four of you.

“The curse inside is most likely above your grades.”

Megumi was the only one who didn’t appear to be phased by that. What does he mean above? He could see the concern on all of your faces.

“Then why are we here?”

“Unfortunately, in this field, the availability of sorcerers is spread thin.”

His brows were furrowed, and he seemed concerned for you all.

“I only have one piece of advice for you going in… If this curse ends up being a special grade your two options are to run or die.”

If you weren’t scared before, you were now. You could feel your heartbeat inside you, did you have a choice? I mean you weren’t supposed to fight… they just wanted you to watch or so they said.

“I wish you luck.”

He muttered words under his breath, and above you a dark cloud engulfed around the building in a dome shape, effectively trapping you.

“What the hell?!”

Seeing your shock Megumi explained it to you.

“The veil is a way to make sure no passerby’s see, because of the stress it inflicts it could cause problems for us.”

Megumi was quieter between the two of the eccentric characters, he was a bit of the odd one out between them. But his seriousness was a good balance to the playful nature of his comrades. Tactile and good at making decisions in stressful situations.

Yuuji- well you didn’t know much about him other than what Gojo told you. But he seemed nice. Nervous, but a sweet kid. And also, incredibly passionate about finding any survivors or at least their bodies. You admired him and also feared of that.

The mission was simple- destroy the cursed womb, or retreat and take minimal casualties.

Your brain went back to the sight of the woman who had been murdered in front of you. Was this another curse like that? Some gangrenous mutant of absolute evil?

You had to calm yourself and trust that Gojo wouldn’t have let you be put into danger.

And so, you approached the abandoned building.

You wanted to prove something. You weren’t sure what or to who, but you felt the burden of expectations laid onto you.

Megumi quickly briefed you all on what he was instructed to do, and what role everyone was to play. An underlying tone of irritation laced his words, probably because he was stuck with three people who barely knew what they were doing.

Yuuji was supposed to stay with you at all times, and ensure you were never left alone. Yuuji specifically.

Nobara was there to add extra power, and of course give her some in the field experience.

You were told to just “stay in the sidelines” which felt a little degrading considering you were their senior.

Megumi was to make sure everyone followed their roles and keep everyone safe. His cursed ability allowed him to scout areas and cover more ground.

That was a lot of responsibility for one person, but if Gojo trusted him, you did too.

Megumi was essentially the group leader, and as much as you were embarrassed by having to follow orders from someone younger than you- you knew your safety was on the line.

From the shadows underneath Megumi's hand emerged a monster- no. A dog. Megumi explained that he was there to help you all keep track of your surroundings and smell out the threat. When you saw Nobara and Yuuji petting him you couldn’t help but join in. You felt a bit more at ease.

Yuuji was in a mission the second you all walked in. You admired the passion in his eyes as he made a promise out loud that these families would be getting their kids back, or at the very least closure.

When you walked in you were overwhelmed by the sight above you. A series of intricate pipes and structure that went on for seemingly dozens of stories above you.

“Wasn’t this a two-story building?”

Nobara asked concerned.

Megumi was focused, deep in thought as he took in the surroundings around him. Then his eyes widened as he turned around, a moment of realization hitting him like a harsh slap.

“The door…”

You all turned around much to your dismay to see that the door you had come in was gone.

You were fully in the lion's den now. And all that anxiety you had was intensified as you realized there was no turning back.

That all too familiar feeling of shallow breaths and adrenaline shot through you as you did what you could to keep it together. It would be really embarrassing if you had a panic attack in front of these three strangers.

Megumi continued forward supernaturally calm, which made you feel slightly better. He was treating this like it was entirely normal, Yuuji and Nobara followed behind making you feel left out by how unnerving this situation made you feel. Like a sheep, you followed the herd on instinct.

Walking through the halls of this building was an absolute fever dream. You felt disoriented as you wondered this new territory.

Megumi sent one of his demon dogs out as you and the group continued on until you entered a big empty room- something grabbed you and Yuuji's attention.

A dead body, severed in half.

His eyes were bloodshot from fear, mouth agape and surrounded in a pool of dark liquid.

You had become frozen in shock, feeling bile rise up in your throat that you had to hesitantly swallow.

“Is… is that…”

You had your hand against your mouth.

Yuuji approached the body without a second thought, crouched in front of it he read the name tag.

“This is that lady’s son.”

The entire mood shifted. Megumi was unfazed, Yuuji looked angry.

He picked the remains of the body up and sling the torso over his shoulder.

“What’s re you doing?”

Megumi furrowed his brows at him.

“We need to bring the body back to her. we couldn’t save him, but she at least deserves closure.”

“Our job isn’t to save people Itadori, it’s to eliminate curses.”

“How can you say that? No one deserves to not know what happened to their own kid!”

The argument became heated quickly. The air was tense, you and Nobara awkwardly standing next to each other.

“We have to prioritize ourselves first. Don’t go around thinking that saving someone is always worth it, this guy here? He’s responsible for the death of a girl.”

Yuuji's eyes widened, he was still angry, but he was stunned quiet.

Just before he opened his mouth, Nobara fell into a dark hole right next to you.

You gasped from shock and jumped back.

“Can you two stop arguing, I think there’s something more important to fucking focus on right now!”

When your anxiety was full swing you didn’t have that much of a filter. Which was justified, considering that as these two boys were having their pissing contest and someone next to you just fucking sank into the ground.

They turned their heads over to you, but before they could say anything they both froze into place from absolute primal fear.

Something was standing next to them.

You watched wide eyed and terrified as a white humanoid creature with four eyes stood between them. Appearing out of nowhere. The most sickening and visceral smile on its face.

Before they even had the time to process it Yuuji went to punch it, his pure reaction time was incredible. And his ability to not be scared in the face of danger.

Megumi wasted no time.

“RUN!”

The one who was supposed to be the strongest and in charge just instructed you to fucking flee, so you weren’t gonna question it.

The last thing you remember was absolute chaos ensuing. Yuuji was missing a hand, blood spraying from random directions upon where the impact had happened.

Megumi sent one of his cursed techniques after it, but it immediately vanished as it was eviscerated into a pile of black goo and sunk into the ground evaporating into nothingness.

That thing had killed it as quick as it had appeared.

Run. Run. RUN

“Go!”

Megumi and Yuuji still persisted as they blocked a path for you to retreat to safety.

You had turned around to book it, the purest of instincts was absolutely encompassing you in stress. It pushed past your anxiety; you had no time to overthink the situation as your feet carried you.

The hallway closed itself off in front of your face to solid wall. You had just barely stopped yourself from slamming into it, bracing your hands against the hard material, palms stinging.

A deer in headlights, a mouse on a landslide, a baby bird to a snake.

You wanted to help. You realized there was no sure way of escape, and that these two boys were fighting themselves to death so the curse wouldn’t reach you.

Guilt, dread, fear, anger, and above all else frustration. You had just lost your whole life, been dragged to some high school and your only explanation to how they were dealing with it was “we’re taking care of it”

You could’ve lost your job by now, your house could’ve been robbed in your absence, your life had just been turned around and with no fucking reasonable explanation.

You took a step back, the environment around you was fucking warping itself- you weren’t in the same building.

Buried in your basest instincts and fear deep down resided a feeling you had never felt before.

Watching Yuuji lose his arm served as a catalyst for something awakening itself inside of you. A rage that you had suppressed, a protective instinct.

Something that had been dormant for years- buried beneath every stress and inhibitor of your life. You were just so tired of being weaker, of not knowing anything.

There were no thoughts about what happened next. There was no reasoning or technique or explanation. Which seemed to be the new theme of your life.

You ran towards the curse. Megumi was knocked down, and Yuuji was losing so much blood it was almost surreal.

You raised your arms up before the hit landed, and when its fist went to meet you, it hit nothing. Or, more specifically, it stopped inches from you, an invisible barrier had manifested over the spot it tried to reach its impact.

Its sick smile dropped.

“Yuuji!” You shouted at him.

Wasting no time to seize the opportunity of this invisible barrier, you took action.

He was dazed from his blood loss; he blinked up at you.

“What will it take you to get Sukuna out?!”

His eyes widened.

“I-I can’t while I’m not alone. He could hurt you and Megumi!”

“Can’t you choose when he comes out?”

“Yeah, but I can’t see what he does while he is…”

He was in pain, albeit keeping his composure well considering his circumstances. Megumi was still standing but a hand clutched his side and breathing heavily.

You realized that you were the adult. You were the only one capable of making decisions. You didn’t allow yourself the privilege of thinking, you just acted.

“Do it! I’ll get us out of here!”

Yuuji looked at you with uncertainty.

You turned your head over to Megumi.

“Can you escape??”

He nodded. Whatever was the reason he trusted you, he did without second thought unlike Yuuji.

From the shadows emerged a giant bird-like creature, Megumi hopped on as he looked at you with a fleeting worried look.

“Go without me, look for Nobara!”

The curse had attempted to launch itself at Megumi, but before it could Yuuji intercepted it bloodied and beaten, a look of concentration etched into his face as he punched it right in the face.

You felt a sliver of hope inch its way back into you. Yuji seemingly making his own self-discovery and making a breakthrough.

You watched Megumi fly upwards out of sight.

He didn’t know why he trusted you, it could’ve been stress, or maybe he was just that out of it and shocked.

But what he did know was that the cursed energy he felt off of you was the strongest in the room.

“Do it now!!”

“What about- “

“JUST FUCKING DO IT!”

You felt a little bad for yelling at him, especially with the shocked face he gave you. But considering the circumstances, and the fact that hesitance could lead to death- you couldn't feel bad right now.

A small part of you was worried, worried about what Sukuna was like, and if he would hurt you. But you also knew that as long as he did come out, the curse would be dead and everyone else would be safe.

You were heaving and had never felt more adrenaline in your life.

A chemically induced high was pumping through your very veins each second as the stress of the environment around you increased.

You were in a zone of intense focus past any feeling anything had ever given you before. Sports, drugs, sex, anything.

You didn’t know if you had the raw power to take it head-on, but a newfound power and recklessness had overcome you in that moment.

You braced yourself to be hit again, knees bent and stance strong. Nothing in your life had ever been as clear to you as the sight in front of you.

you were so in tune with your environment that when you watched the curse lunge at you it was as if it was in slow motion, the things you only ever saw in movies were happening in front of you.

You could feel and hear each individual beat of your own heart, each pump of blood was felt throughout every end of your body.

Then, like lightning, the curse stepped away from you terrified.

You were confused. Why did this keep happening to you. Were you seriously that badass? Or maybe even curses couldn’t stand you.

“How annoying. Stupid fucking brat.”

A low gravelly voice behind you resounded through your brain and settled in like water to an open flame.

A man stepped between you and the curse, and in what was no more than a fraction of a second the curse's head twisted like a soda can, and it collapsed with a crude thud.

You stood there unmoving. Now you were really a deer in headlights. Staring at Yuuji… or at least Yuuji's body- completely and indubitably in shock.

One hand in his pocket, other sticking out

There was no primal instinct. There was no more fear. There was only a feeling of blankness every second you stared at him.

He turned around slowly to face you.

He had Yuuji's clothes, hair, and his face…

But it wasn't Yuji.

When his eyes met yours, you had just experienced a feeling you hadn’t felt before.

A solar flare, a word about to be spoken, the brief moment before the wick of a candle lights up as the match is held to it.

His eyes… those infinite Irises that looked straight through you as if there was nothing that could ever be secret. You were glass, completely transparent and vulnerable to him- So easy to break.

You two stood in silence for a moment. His face was unreadable, unlike yours which was lit up like you had been struck by lightning.

It was something inside of you metaphysically that was magnetized to him. Even though you knew you shouldn’t. Instinct fighting emotion.

He eyed you up and down putting his other hand in a pocket. You were so stunned you hadn’t even realized that he had hands again.

You opened your mouth to speak but nothing came out.

He turned around from you and just began walking away.

“Wait...”

You began to become dizzy before you could finish, you almost fell over from the feeling of vertigo spreading across your body faster than you had time to think.

Your knees buckled under you and your vision faltered. You saw double as you tried catching yourself but ultimately fell down to one knee.

“Your body isn’t used to cursed energy.”

You looked up at the voice to see him facing you again.

You tried to pull yourself up but failed, a sudden pain in your chest and limbs growing heavy as your fighters high left.

“You overexerted yourself. Don’t try to get up.”

“Aren’t you supposed to... to hurt me?”

You said between ragged breaths.

You closed your eyes for a split second, and he was on his feet crouched over, looking into your eyes.

“Does it look like I want to hurt you?”

Still his expression was entirely blank. He was completely unreadable.

“I don’t know… that's what… what everyone says.”

You tried again to get up, but your body collapsed onto itself, and you barely held yourself up with your knees and hands.

“What did I tell you moron? I try to do something nice, and no one listens.”

“Sorry…”

You didn’t know why you were apologizing to him. He sighed and stared right into you.

“You’re more useful to me if you stay alive this time.”

He said sounding frustrated.

Before you had the chance to think about that, he pressed a finger to your head, and you collapsed unconscious.

Your mouth was dry, body was sore, and on top of that, you woke up in a bed that wasn’t yours.

You felt exhausted in every way and did not have it in you deal with being in a stranger's home.

Y’know that feeling of being hungover on whiskey? Yeah, that. But also add a triathlon marathon, a forming migraine, and seven bar fights.

You sat up barely, able to get your bearings and take in your surroundings.

White bed and silk sheets, modern furniture, abstract art…

Expensive lights, hardwood floors.

A rack of expensive black sunglasses.

Wait.

There’s no way. What the hell happened between the fight and now??

With very slow and careful motions, you managed to get up from under the sheets and sit on the outside of the bed. Your back was slouched, and hands gripped the comforter as you struggled to fight against what felt like seventeen dumbbells sitting on top of you.

You managed to finally stand up and move around, albeit slowly and sluglike.

Rubbing one hand to your forearm you looked down to notice a half healed yellow bruise several inches in length.

“What the hell...?”

Maybe you were actually in seven bar fights.

As you took each step your migraine blossomed further into discomfort.

You let out an audible groan as you moved around feeling like seven bags of horse shit left out in the sun too long- and smelled like it too.

Limping your way out of the room you squinted your eyes at the sudden invasion of light. Huge windows covered what you could assume was the living room.

It was daytime, how long had it been though?

You were in more pain than self-conscientious and began shamelessly rummaging through cabinets absentmindedly looking for anything.

Advil, ibuprofen, some fucking weed even?

You had a sharp pain to you ribs which made you almost fall but you managed to catch yourself with one hand on the expensive marble countertops of an absolutely stunning modernized kitchen.

“Don’t hurt yourself even more while you’re here, I’ll feel bad!”

A voice shocked you out of your painful daze.

You whipped your head around which made your migraine peak into a spike of pain, causing you let out a sharp hiss.

“Satoru.”

You said angrily, but honestly you were somewhat relieved. A familiar face after all the shit that you had been through the past few days was nice.

“You probably have a lot of questions huh?”

Your eyes were closed shut as you rubbed your hand in circles against your temple trying to alleviate the pain. To sore to even make a “no shit” remark

“Well first of all sit down.”

He pointed to a stool against his kitchen island

You immediately went to do it. Not having the energy to protest.

He began opening up drawers and pulling things out as he spoke.

“I’ll just go ahead and start from the beginning. You were assigned to go fight a special grade curse with a few first years including Sukunas vessel- Yuuji.”

He popped open a bottle of pain killers and filled a glass of water

“Because of you everyone made it out alive.”

Everyone? So Megumi and Nobara made it out safe. You relaxed a little feeling slightly less stressed. At least your state of shittiness was worth something. He slid the glass and pills over to you from across the counter

The first thing you noticed was his shirt. He was wearing a loose long sleeve that barely hung over his shoulders, showing his perfect fucking collarbones and neck off to you.

“You look slutty.”

You said before you popped the pills and downed the glass of water like you had never drank any before.

Choosing to ignore your remark, he continued speaking.

“Everyone is safe. And that’s because of you.”

“I think you’re giving me too much credit. Megumi and Yuuji did all the fighting.”

“That’s not exactly true, but even then you told everyone what to do and led them all out safely, without even having done this before. I was pretty impressed when I heard.”

You weren’t gonna admit that you liked his praise, but you turned your head away from him so you didn’t make eye contact to hide your flushed face.

“They found you unconscious on the side of the building. Do you remember anything?”

You recalled the events to him the best you could, but it was all a blur. You remembered going in, Nobara vanishing beneath you, Yuuji losing a hand… all the traumatizing and gory details.

“So you don’t remember what you did?”

“A little… I think I got in the way of one of its hits and that’s why I’m so sore now.”

He smiled and chuckled at you smugly

“Oh no. If you were actually hit by it you would totally be dead by now,”

“You’re fucking with me.”

“Not this time!”

He leaned himself on the opposite side of the counter to you with his elbows and one hand under his chin.

“You used cursed energy. A lot.”

“How?!”

“You tell me babe! All I know is what Megumi and Yuuji told me.”

You didn’t remember seeing any cursed energy…

“You seriously don’t remember what happened?”

You shook your head at him annoyed

“You took several hits from it. But you managed to concentrate cursed energy to the places just before it hit it, so the brunt of the force was blocked but some of the energy still hit you because your technique is still very underdeveloped."

You stared at him half with curiosity and half with confusion, he took your silence as a way to keep talking.

“Your body isn’t used to manifesting or controlling cursed energy like most sorcerers do, and the raw power output you were emitting was more than you could take. It’s probably why you passed out.”

You were lost in thought. There’s something missing. You don’t know what…

“Also, you got really lucky. You got out just before Sukuna did, and so the curse was successfully exorcised, you did good work!”

The more you tried to look back on memories of what happened the more your migraine increased. You wanted to ask questions, but you didn’t know what to ask. There were too many blank spaces and fragments missing from it, he was hiding something.

“Why am I here?”

Gojo perked up and stuck a pointed finger up

“Because my superiors want you dead.” He said so as if it was nothing like the weather report.

“WHAT?!”

You were nearly shocked out of your migraine.

“Relax, they’re not gonna do anything about it.”

“Why do they want me dead?!”

“Because you’ve got something that they haven’t seen in a while, and they’re all conservative old goats who are scared of change.”

Your mouth was agape, staring at Gojo and how nonchalant he was about this.

“You’re acting really calm about this.”

“Well that’s because they’re not gonna do anything about it. Not as long as you stay close to me.”

“Wow I’m honored.”

“You should be! Now, go get ready.”

“Ready for what?”

“We’re going out!”

Even though this wasn’t the first time, it was still a surprise being spoiled like this.

Part of you felt bad but also part of you started getting used to it.

Gojo had thrown on a loose button down shirt, and a pair of his signature specs.

At first you were worried that he wouldn’t have anything for you, but as if he couldn’t have gotten more stalkery before by kidnapping you from a hospital bed and putting you in his- he had also broken into your house and taken some of your clothes.

“You didn’t do anything to these did you?”

“Not this time. Next time maybe”

He teased and you rolled your eyes

He had taken you that night to a semi nice restaurant. You thought it was super fancy but Gojo insisted it was just “okay” which absolutely infuriated you.

You could tell he was breaking you in when you accepted the expensive champagne.

From an outsiders perspective, you two looked incredibly romantic. Combined with his flirtatiousness and touchiness and your bluntness, you got those stares of jealousy from so many random people being seen with him. He loved the attention, the stares and the sparkle in everyone’s eyes when he smiled at them, you on the other hand, had never felt more out of place.

He kept getting numbers from left and right, and he accepted them all. Which was just a crude reminder that you weren’t special, and that this treatment hes been giving you probably was given to someone else before too.

You managed to keep your bearing and nod along as you started walking through the streets at night and admiring the stars. Still a little tipsy from the champagne.

“You’re being awfully quiet.”

You looked over at him and he had slightly pink cheeks from being buzzed himself

“Just nothing to talk about”

You lied

“Wanna head back home then?”

Home. When he said it like that it almost sounded like you two were a couple. You closed your eyes and fought the urge to fantasize about domestic bliss. That this was just a normal date out with a guy who liked you and not him being forced to take care of someone.

You nodded your head slowly. Anxiety creeping it’s way back into your veins as you felt like a burden to him

“You’re sad.”

“Am not.”

“I’m not an idiot.”

“I didn’t say you were.”

He sighed and put his hands in his pockets

“That’s how I know you’re sad. Because if you weren’t you would’ve disagreed with me.”

You didn’t know if it was hormones, the alcohol, or the fact that your life has been ripped from you in the past few days but you were getting emotional.

“I’m not!”

You looked away from him and your lip quivered. You couldn’t cry now, you would’ve just proven him right

“Okay then what’s wrong.”

“Nothing wrong.”

You were starting to get annoyed that he kept persisting but also deep down didn’t want him to stop caring.

You sniffled up some snot and exhaled deeply

“I just don’t want to be a burden on you. You’ve done so much for me recently a-and…”

Your eyes watered and you looked up to try and prevent them from falling

“Aw. Come here, you big baby.”

He pulled you into a hug and that just absolutely sent you into a downhill spiral. You leaned your weight against him and quietly cried into his shirt. Thinking that since he couldn’t see you he wouldn’t know.

You might’ve been a little more than tipsy…

He rubbed your head in circles as your body jerked with each sob. You managed to remain totally quiet which caught his attention but he wasn’t gonna mention anything about it

“This field is selfish y’know.”

You opened your eyes and loosened your grip around his torso a little, listening.

“Being a sorcerer doesn’t give you anything. Objectively speaking, some people like the money or the power. But all you get in return for that is the burden of knowing you have to be the one to save them.”

He was opening himself up to you, which made you feel a little better

You wanted to look up at him but knew that you looked like absolute hell.

“It takes and it takes. And it’s never gonna show you mercy. You were taken from your life and thrown into this one, and you didn’t want that.”

You still were sniffling, but the tears stopped flowing

“I’m sorry…”

“For what babe?”

“I don’t know…”

He had a gentle smile looking down at you. Your face was pressed against his chest giving you a natural pouty face. He thought you were cute

“Do you want to be here?”

“No…”

“Close your eyes.”

You didn’t know what he was about to do but you obliged anyway.

You felt that feeling in your stomach like being in an elevator when it’s going down. A very subtle but still there drop in your stomach.

The second thing you felt was soft sheets instead of a hard metal bench.

You looked up from him to see that you were in his room

“You can fucking teleport?!”

“Mhm.”

“Of course you can.”

You said so annoyed but you were smiling

You stifled a laugh as he made a dramatic pose showing off with a kissy gesture and a hand under his chin

“One of my many talents!”

You chose not to dwell on it for your own peace.

You sat in silence for a moment, just enjoying his warmth.

“Why are you being so nice to me?”

Even though you stopped crying, you were still emotional. The strong facade cracking under the building pressure of all the recent events.

He moved his hand to you chin and lifted it up

“You have a lot more to offer than you think.”

He had a sincere smile on his face

You giggled quietly between sniffles. But you were quickly humbled when you looked back down and noticed the huge grey spot of snot and tears from where your face was

“Oh my god!”

You wanted to die. Right then and right fucking there.

How expensive was that shirt? How grossed out is he? Why would you let yourself cry on him? Does he hate you now?!

“I’m so s-…”

Your rushing thoughts went to sudden stop when he began unbuttoning his shirt and slid it off, tossing it at the foot of the bed

“-orry….”

Your eyes widened and for the first time in a minute he had completely flustered you again. You weren’t one to be left speechless but goddamn was he even finer than you imagined.

“You’re staring.” He had a shit eating grin.

You had pulled yourself back by now and you didn’t know if it was the alcohol talking or if he was just that hot, but somehow you two ended up kissing.

What’s a recipe for disaster?

1 Night alone,

2 lonely people,

3 too many drinks.

And 4 days of building sexual tension.

Pt3

[evycloudberry]

Woah I am baffled that so many have read and liked part 1 ! Thank you so much to all don’t hesitate to share, and comment your thoughts ☺️

•note: I am writing this as (Y/N) being a fire fairy.

•note: I did not name the friends, so all readers can ‘personalize’ this story easily. They are mentioned according to their ability.

Disclaimer: swearing, mention of drinking/alcohol, mention of sexual gestures

Begin again (part 2)

Two months have passed since Riven broke-up with (Y/N). The pain is still there yet she has come to accept it. Accept the fact that there's no more mischievous looks between them, only shy away peeks, no more tender smiles, only tears threatening to spill, no more cockiness or nasty jokes that made their friends recoil, only awkwardness and clumsiness in his presence. But she was doing better, something that helped was her morning run. As she was up every morning at 6am, it has become her routine to start her days with a good run.

She was on the path, when she spotted the curve of the river she habitually stops at. She took a seat in the grass, to drink some water and rest before heading back. It was like always, peaceful, with the sun just above the horizon, and the sound of the water running by. She was taking the calm in when she heard running footsteps coming her way. She didn't budge until they slowed down, and eventually came to a halt, forcing her to look up.

"Morning" she greeted the tall dark haired boy, mostly out of politeness.

"Good morning, stranger sitting at my spot"

"Sorry ?" She asked confused

"It's okay, I know how to share" he smiled

This was all very fast, (Y/N) was taking aback and only smiled at him as an answer.

"I am Zane" he said sitting down.

"Y/N"

"I thought I was the only one at Alfa who enjoyed morning runs. It's nice to meet someone else who likes getting their runners dirty"

"Don't all the specialists at Alfea have bloody runners?" She jokes.

"Touché" He smiled at her, which she gladly returned.

They were there a little while talking about running, and other sporty things they like to do. They were having a good feeling, and the conversation kept on going as they walked back to the building. They crossed path with a few of (Y/N) friends who were heading for their early class, when they saw in the distance Silva and the first year specialists about to start their training.

As they walked closer she noticed someone standing by Silva's side. She slowed down making Zane look at her curiously.

"Are you alright (Y/N) ?"

"Hmm..? yeah, I.." she did not had the time to finish her sentence, Silva's half shouting voice came into hearing

"Well, well, Zane how nice of you to show up. Now, if you and your fairy friend are done you can come honor us of your participation too”

Zane awkwardly scratched his head turning to her "don't mind him he's been on the edge since Riven has been acting out.. yet he can't replace him because he's by far one of the best"

The knot in her stomach tightened in mention of Riven.

"You can stay and watch practice if you want ?"

"Any days now Zane" added Silva impatiently.

As she did not answer he added "is that.. weird to ask ?"

"Well... a bit" she laughs out “ unfortunately I am not a mind fairy to help practice in any ways, and I have to prepare for class myself"

"Right, yes! Well, I'll catch you up later (Y/N)" he shouted running the last few steps toward where Silva and Riven were standing.

She caught a glance of Riven before leaving, uncertain how to act when he looked right into her eyes, with frown eyebrows. It was only a second before his eyes traveled to Zane, and focused back on the group in front of him.

As expected, as time passed, she day-dreamt less, was more present and focused during classes, it almost made her forget how little control she currently has over her powers.

Having no class the following day her friends were dragging her to a pub in a nearby town to release the stress of the finished week, and for once in a long time, she was actually excited to go out.

As they had a before party in their dorm whilst getting ready they were matching the pub's energy when they arrived.

(Y/N) was genuinely having a good time, she danced ignoring completely the soreness and hight of the heels her friend lent her. Luckily she’s not one to get drunk easily, she knows her limits and always respected them. She made her way to the counter to order yet another drink; noticing a familiar laughter to her right she instinctively sprung her head toward it. The smile on her face rapidly faltered once her brain made out the scene before her eyes.

She knew it would happen someday, she just never thought that it would be this quick. Yes those past four days she has been hanging out with someone else, it didn't mean much to her, how could he have taken that as a green light to jump whomever, whenever ? and in public that is ! Her mind blanked, whilst her eyes were glued to those red lips kissing those of whom she still fondly had hopes to get back in her life.. she desperately wanted to look away, yet it was as if her body was strained on the spot. She involuntarily followed the feminine hand traveling down Riven's chest toward his crotch; and as a slap to the face, she jumped when a hand landed on her shoulder.

"Hey (Y/N) !" Was all Zane could say as she turned to him, eyes fire red.

"Woah, woah, you alright ?" worry clear in his voice

"I have to get out !" She swiftly said mainly to herself. Wasting no time, she forced her way out through the crowd toward the exit.

Part 3

[zakubabbles]

How long do you typically spend on each TMayNT drawing? Of the ones you've done so far, which one took the longest? Which one was the quickest?

Hello! Thanks for the asks!

Oof, it's a bit difficult to give an estimate since I don't pay too much attention to the clock and am easily distracted, but I'd have to say it has ranged between 20 minutes to well over an hour? Or two... or more...

I am very slow when I draw so "quick" is relative.

The quickest ones so far are probably:

Probably about 10-20 minutes?

And the longest from what I've posted:

And that's because I'm indecisive and kept going back and forth between leaving things at the sketch stage and drawing cleaner lines. Followed by wondering, "just a little shading or some blocking might be nice and won't take long, right?" Then thinking "hmm, maybe a little more. No, that's too much. Maybe I should go back to just lines. What if I color the lines? Okay, I liked the blocking/shading more. Make it darker. Make it darker. No make it lighter... no make it darker. Change the color again..."

Anyway, if I take longer, it's because I got carried away with adding shading or something.

Thanks again :)

[suleikashideaway]

2023

So I see a lot of people around here with their various wrapped updates regarding the progression of their art. I never really considered that I had much to say, considering I'm such a baby writer and haven't actually published anything. Who am I to join the conversation?

On reflection, I do have a lot to say, and yeah, it's worth saying. 2023 was a big year for me as a writer. So for posterity's sake, I want it known here in my blog.

The big project: FF8

Technically I've been working on a final fantasy 8 fic for years at this point. The fact that it's so personal and complicated kept me from sharing it with anyone. It was for me. It made me happy. But this was the year I decided to at least start the attempt at making it publishable.

After several drafts of this story, early this year I finally reached a point where I could write THE END and mean it. At something close to 140k words, It felt like I had climbed a mountain. Of course, now I look back and see that it was a tiny little baby hill, but it was maybe one of the most important hills I've ever walked.

To my surprise, I found a beta right away, and from there my 2023 trajectory took off into the stratosphere. They know this already, but I have to thank my beta (and now one of my very best friends) @failed221b-chill for lifting me out of the solitude and teaching me so much about everything, but especially taking on the role of my personal writing tutor. Together we went line-by-line through part 1 of my 3-part story, and my little baby writing mind EXPLODED.

Lemme tell ya. The confidence I gained from that. Woof.

It was also made very clear that I had my work cut out for me. Not only did I decide to double the entire fucking thing (by adding in another POV that was initially going to be a separate work), but I realized I needed to rewrite pretty much all of my existing draft.

In the span of a few weeks, I drafted over 35k of the other POV for part 1. With my newfound writing knowledge, I'm going through, line-by-line, and making this story what I want it to be.

Though I feel like I've grown exponentially as a writer, I still feel like this fic, as it stands, is not ready for publishing. Part 1 is almost there...I'm inching closer every day...but I don't know how long it will take to get it done to my satisfaction.

And I'm okay with that. My original goal was to have the entire 3-part thing written and completely done before publishing. Now, I may consider sharing before that goal is accomplished. Stay tuned.

Another Project: Stardew Valley

Something I learned incidentally (that I bet a bunch of other people have already learned before me, and here I am trying to reinvent the wheel of course) was that I actually needed another writing project to bounce back and forth between. Before this year, in between writing my ff8 fic, I wrote an entire Stardew Valley slow burn romance harvey/farmer fic, probably around 150k words. It was extremely cathartic and fun to write butttt I reread it now and cringe, hard, at my lil baby writing skills. I'll never delete it, because obviously it was another little baby hill I needed to climb. But as it is, it will never see the light of day lol. I keep having thoughts of how to completely rewrite this piece, but at the moment it's pretty vague. Not sure I'll ever return.

Instead, I was wildly inspired by @not-poignant's take on Alex, and feverishly wrote my first-ever Alex stuff, somewhere around 12k words. This is currently sitting on a back-burner, awaiting my soul-searching to decide what I really want from the piece.

What's Next?

My ff8 fic will always have precedence. But it's a mammoth. And due to the nature of the content, it is sometimes emotionally very difficult for me to write it. Sooooo it may be a while. That's okay with me.

In the meantime, I'm super excited that the first @ffviiicharacterweek is happening in January!!! It's given me an opportunity to write much shorter pieces that I never would have gotten around to. Hopefully I'll be able to participate fully and enjoy the works that come out of that.

Overall, it's been a damn good year for writing.

So anyway, if anyone has given this post the time of day, thanks for sticking it out to the end! I'm certainly open for chatting about any of this stuff, or if you just want to talk I'm up for that, too! I hope you have a joyous new year!

[shivunin]

Carrion comfort? That’s also the name of a song I love so I’m curious haha

And for @jtownnn too, who asked for the same one!

Is it this song, by chance? Because I love it, too!

The title actually comes from this quote:

“Not, I'll not, carrion comfort, Despair, not feast on thee; Not untwist — slack they may be — these last strands of man In me ór, most weary, cry I can no more. I can; Can something, hope, wish day come, not choose not to be.” —Gerard Manley Hopkins, “Carrion Comfort”

This fic is my "Fenris gets captured and Hawke has to track him down before they make it back to Tevinter" fic. It's got all the good things---someone almost dying and the other finding them, horrible mind control, memory loss, and bonding road trips with your lover's sister. Here is a little piece:

Hawke went home. Later, she couldn’t recall how. She couldn’t seem to see straight and none of the sounds around her seemed to penetrate the cloud of horror and rage that hissed in her ears. They’d thought he was safe. He was supposed to be safe. 

She walked right past the elf in the foyer without seeing her, mind already fixed on the wardrobe where she kept her armor, and if Varania hadn’t reached out to touch her arm Maria would have kept on walking. 

“Wait,” Fenris’s sister said. “Leto—” 

All at once, the bubble of shock burst and Hawke was moving, moving, her hand on the woman’s throat, pressing her back to the wall of the foyer, thinking no, no, I cannot kill her yet, she might know—

“Mistress,” Orana said, horrified. 

What was she doing?

Hawke let go and stepped back, breathing hard. Varania was slightly paler than Fenris; the red handprint on her throat showed very clearly. The two of them stared at each other, Hawke’s hands burning with unspent rage, Varania’s eyes hard and unyielding. In the doorway to the room beyond, Orana stood still as a statue, both hands pressed to her throat. 

“Where is he?” Maria gritted out at last. “What have you done to him?”

“I have done nothing,” Varania said. “I have come to warn you, and you have attacked me. What reason have I to answer any of your questions?”

Despite her reputation, Hawke was not the sort of person to strike first. “Don’t start fights, but always finish them,” her father had told her when she was very young and just coming into her power. He’d added more to it—something about preemptive strikes in cases where she had solid information—but that hadn’t made as much of an impression. She was not the sort of person who was quick to lash out. No; ordinarily, Hawke’s anger was a slow thing, built log by log until it burned bright and hot.

But now—

“You know something,” she said, taking a single step forward. Varania eyed her with disdain, her chin lifted high. 

“Perhaps.”

She hadn’t let Fenris kill this woman. Maria was not going to kill her because she was mad. She wasn’t. She was better than that. 

Slowly, her palms began to cool from their fever-heat. 

“What do you want for it?”

“My brother,” Varania snapped, then pressed her lips together. “I want my brother. Leto. Not this Fenris.”

“No,” Maria said flatly, lifting her own chin. “Fenris is his own man.”

“I am not asking for—” Varania broke into a long line of Tevene, plainly not complimentary. When Hawke glanced at Orana for a translation, she saw only the same barely-masked fear. 

Flames. After all these years, she’d terrified poor Orana into being the woman she’d been when she first came here. 

“Orana,” Hawke said softly, raising both hands in a placating gesture, “I need your help. Fenris has been taken from his manor. There was—quite a bit of blood. Can you please go tell Varric? He’ll know what to do.” 

Orana bobbed her head, avoiding Hawke’s eyes, and darted for the front door. When it closed behind her, Maria turned back to Varania. 

“Well?” she asked. “What will it be? He needs me and I must go. Will you tell me or should I guess?” 

[iantimony]

tues

last tuesday in my apartment! going away for ~6 weeks! trying to be normal about it! posting this pretty early in the day compared to normal because i woke up insanely early from my roommate's cat yelling ... then i got bad period cramps and languished in bed with a heating pad for way too long ... did not end up going to my office today, oops ...

listening: like many others i have gotten sucked into the kendrick/drake Beef. i do sporadically listen to hip hop and rap in general but somehow had never gotten around to kendrick. better late than never, i suppose! this is not news but he's really good!! i listened to 'good kid, m.A.A.d city' for the first time and it's just really really good. i cannot recommend a Single Favorite Song the way i sometimes do with albums i like just because this is one of the ones that i let wash over me as an entire cohesive unit. do recommend if you have somehow lived under a rock like me.

reading: mostly fallow. some academic paper stuff. biting my nails about prelim exam things.

watching: dunmeshi and asobi.

playing: ran an insane dnd session saturday for the online weekly group that i got roped into earlier this year ... i'm glad i'm running it, i'm having a lot of fun with it, but my god. we decided to do a 'slightly' longer session than normal because we're not gonna get to play for about a month due to scheduling/travel of various people. it was Six Hours Long. AND THEY COULD HAVE KEPT GOING. killing myself For Real. but actually i do have fun i just. woof. i am excited to have a bit of a break from it. the only tabletop thing i will be doing with that group until like...june 8??? maybe even the week after? is i set up a spindlewheel spreadsheet for me and one of the players! he had to go awol for a few weeks and we're doing a little spindlewheel game as a way to plot out what his character was up to in that period, very fun, will be low-pressure and asynchronous.

making: trying to finish up some pottery stuff before i leave town! carving in crows into this bowl that i will be painting in with black:

handles added to the new cave painting mugs:

and i went to life drawing again for the first time this year! i will not be back at that specific studio til july lol rip but i plan on going to a local place at least once when i'm at home :) 3 min poses, last sketchy one is a 5-minute, and then the hour long!

finally, the bookbinding stuff i did last week and forgor to post! the little one is scraps to test coptic binding, the bigger one behind it is going to be a travel journal for when i'm in the UK for two weeks :)

eating: really really fallow. a lot of eating out and scrounging frozens because i'm leaving town for a while. hoping to cook for my family while i'm at home. i did eat basically an entire jar of grilled olives from trader joes.

misc: i cannot believe how slow this semester went for most of it and then how fast it's been for the end. good god. i leave my apartment in an hour to go get my brother from the airport, we hang for a few days, and then off i go on saturday! fucked up for real! i'm very excited to see my boyfriend and then go abroad though (!!!), less looking forward to feeling like i'm trapped at home again, but maybe this time will be fine (doubt but hopeful). god i need to think about packing, huh. fuckin hell.

[blysse-and-blunder]

In lieu of a travel journal

2am my-time, monday, july 24, 2023

Awake and giddy and trying to calm down after completing what I think may accidentally actually be a decent conference paper, a few short hours before I need to present it—some thoughts on the things that have kept me entertained and sane while on necessary breaks from writing! writing this on my phone so there’s no read-more, apologies.

reading

having a very good time alternating between after Sappho, selby wynn schwartz, and an angela carter short story collection called the bloody chamber. both very ~feminist~ but in ways that are subtly distinct—you can tell which came out in 2021 and which did not—but both so interesting. I think I may DNF this other unnamed spy-urban fantasy, unfortunately, which sucks because the premise was good, the execution is just very grating. assorted other libby holds include italo calvino’s the baron in the trees, ty @morrak and carmen maria machado’s in the dream house.

listening

yws gwynedd and the resulting welsh pop / rock mix on 24-hour lockdown repeat. it’s been extremely good to me, high energy, low engagement, except I’m also getting better at listening comprehension slowly but surely, there’s no downside. Stuck in my head currently, perpetually:

watching

the first episode of d20’s starstruck odyssey, which despite all the potential for getting bogged down in new mechanics and bad stats and dysfunctional team dynamics was really lovely? It is filling the sweet spot right between being in the mood for fantasy high and being in the mood for Neverafter, and plus I like! just getting to hear them play! I also watched the first few minutes of disn*y’s strange world on this airbnb’s d+ account, and will hopefully be able to go back—I was looking for something I could have on in the background and ended up getting interested, so, task failed successfully! I also watched, and slept through, amsterdam (2022) on a plane recently.

playing

fallow week. shoutout to the game I tried with friends a few weeks ago and forgot to mention, genesis noir, which was so gloriously atmospheric and moody and interesting, right up until it was slightly too buggy and/or unintuitive to get past the first fifteen minutes or so. though that could have been the fault of the internet connection, which had been slow that whole night and did crash immediately thereafter. we laughed ourselves to absolute fucking tears over gangbeasts again, afterwards. but I’m still thinking about the celestial noir vibes and hope to get back to this one soon.

making

fallow week! making plans and achieving them, making memories and taking pictures, making virtual friendships into realities. making more homecooked meals, hopefully, now that I have real kitchen access! making some professional connections??

working on

the last week has been all about either working on said paper, or getting a mental refresh by getting as far from it as possible. it’s been hard to get back into work mode after some of these full days off, but also, I did budget my time and I *did* put enough in, early and often, that by the time the eleventh hour came around it was possible to actually finish. i don’t think i could have gotten to this version, which i’m pleased with, with any less effort—but spending all day thurs at the library, working in the morning or an hour before bed, or between lunch and dinner tonight—and a lot of time the week prior—it all added up. it all contributed something. this is my memo to myself: the long boring slog leading up to the exhilarating last minute is just as necessary. it helped that I have other (dissertation-based) uses for every idea and sentence and quote I had to cut tonight, and I still think this paper is stronger without them.

[sastiel-is-my-serotonin]

It's a bit hard for me to fully understand how bad first grade was for me. Not because the schoolwork was difficult, because I felt too challenged in a academic sense. I struggled, but not because the work was difficult, but because of the racism I dealt with.

My biggest problem that entire year had to of been my teacher. Starting from mispronouncing my name and refusing to say it properly. Accusing me of cheating on my projects because of how well they were done. While I did get help, she assumed my mom had always done all the work for me.

She liked to try and embarrass me, looked for opportunities to call me a trouble maker and would loudly announce my "bad" behavior, despite her simply mixing me up with students with similar names or appearances. Never apologized to me when she was wrong, which was every time.

Called me slow, would make comments about how long it took me to do activities, especially writing.

There were so many things she did that entire school year that added up. But the most disrespectful thing had to of been when I asked her for our Thanksgiving classroom play, if i could be one of the natives rather than the pilgrims. I'm native american, I'm the only native american in this class, I don't want to be a pilgrim. Guess who was a pilgrim?

And she made sure the native men were loud and ruthless and the native women were scared of everything and screamed and shouted in fear so easily. While the pilgrims were calm and collected, from the men to the women and they helped these poor natives.

My mom and me shared similar opinions on the play and she even talked to my teacher about how harmful it was to teach kids our history like that. The she should do better and emphasized the proper way to say my name. Which she pretended she just didn't know, I never corrected her. (My mom knew this was a lie as I was known to be very quick to correct people and sometimes hostile if they didn't quickly amend it. So yeah... Also, she continued to mispronounce my name unless my mom was there.)

I almost forgot, I am a very quiet person, especially then. I only talked if I had to or liked you enough to talk to. She said even though I met the curriculum for the next grade, in fact, she had kept lowering my reading level until she got in trouble, that she wanted to hold me back for a year. She got an earful from my mom for that one, and I didn't get held back.

So that was what it was like in the classroom. Outside of it, I was often physically assaulted by four girls.

There was this one who was in my class and she made it her mission to stand next to me in line so she could force me to talk. I never did, so she would twist my arm, pinch me, punch me, try to bend my hand back, saying I just had to say something and she'd stop. She never got in trouble for it and it's not because she never got caught, many times I caught my teacher's eye while she was physically harming me, she'd smile and look away.

While I was outside of the classroom, outside of line, there was a group of three girls. They come up to me, make comments, grab my stuff, my belongings, corner me. I remember one weekend I got my nails done, they were yellow with glitter. They saw my nails asked if they were real, and proceeded to rip off every single nail. My best friend saw, alerted her mom who did work there. Not much came from that, they continued to harass me, they just made sure my friend wasn't around and her mom.

So yeah, it was really traumatic, dealing with so much every day at school. I remember walking to the bus one day, it was really windy, and I thought about how much I wished it would pick up more and knock me into the wall. Enough to hurt and kill me. I thought about death a lot that year. I didn't realize until I got older how much it truly affected me.

Also, fun fact, I ended up going to school with those girls again, we moved but in fifth grade I went back to that school, that teacher still taught there, and one of those girls was in my class. She never talked to me, she did give me dirty looks for getting questions correct if she didn't.

And later in middle school I ended up having several classes with all of them. I could tell they recognized me, but never said anything about it. No apologies. Nothing.

The one who twisted my arm, I never saw her again at the very least. But yeah, what a fucked up year, huh?

[xivu-arath]

On one of the Fundament's nights, dark and thick as fear, Xi Ro revels in small victories.

“Look, another one!” Xi Ro calls out, the bait star glimmering – its warm/welcome/safe light dimming slowly in her clenched hand – as she leaps down the steps to join her sisters.

This is why she loves her sisters: Sathona and Aurash have no interest in knightly feats, but they crowd close anyways, admiring the strength of her arm, the keen edge of her blade, her swift and sure feet.

Taox would call it a foolish risk to chase after a stormjoy. Father would say nothing – the triumphs of his youngest daughter of a small brood are not very important to a king, especially with maybe-war on the wind. Even if she wants to be a knight! Even if he will need more knights, if it comes to that.

Xi Ro almost hopes it does, even if that would make Taox frown and be stern with her. It is true that there are more than enough things alive – and some not, like rain or fickle waves – that kill their people already, and adding more is unwise.

(Lack of wisdom is another thing that kills, and quickly.)

But when the court talks of the Helium Drinkers, she wants to know – and in this feels what being Aurash must feel like, all the time – what their weapons are like, their armour, if they learn the cleaver the same way. Would she be stronger than them, or faster? Who would win?

But the war is a maybe and she is not Aurash, so she does not ask the questions or seek their answers. Instead, she chases stormjoys.

They cluster together, huddled close as if they were newly hatched – maybe it is for her sake, because she is the youngest and there is comfort in this still – and pass the bait star around like a bauble. It shines brightest when still attached to the feeder tentacles, but even now it is reassuring to hold, its glow catching the eye. Xi Ro has two already, kept hidden in a hollowed out shell.

“Is it hard?” Sathona asks, head tilted. “To move against the light when it baits you.”

Xi Ro preens a little as she answers. “It is, a little.” Her smile is sharp and proud. “The light may make me happy, but being stronger than it is even better than that. There is nothing like winning.”

“As long as you keep winning,” Aurash says fondly. They do not need to speak of what happens to those snared by the bait stars, who are a little too slow or unsure. That is why she does it – to cry Look, I am here! This death has lost, so I am stronger than it!

She will live a short life, no matter how it ends. She will not know things like Aurash, or become a mother and shift the court through clever words like Sathona. Why not spend her years fighting for kin, strong and gloriously alive? She will be victorious until she isn’t.

That seems a better end than whatever is happening to their father, a withering even clever Taox does not understand.

“I will!” she says, and squeezes her sisters’ shoulders. This feels less like a hatchling comfort now and more something shared – they are together because they know and love each other, and are strong because they are together. “I promise.”

[regarding-stories]

Rounding up is hard to do... Manga Edition (mostly)

While this is slowly changing, a lot of the time romantic manga series are more likely to get a single season if adapted to anime. So even if you might get into a series by watching it animated at first, you often have to finish it by getting into the print. Anime is still at times more of a promotional tool than anything.

So here comes stuff that I read at least partially in manga form.

Smoking Behind The Supermarket With You

This was a random find that I just got into because Kobo advertised it to me. While some of it is now collected as volumes, Bookwalker sells it by chapters for the start of the series, but never installments come as three-chapter books (and in the end, cheaper per page).

"Smoking" is a very sweet little slow-burn love story unfolding between a salarymen working in sales and much younger supermarket cashier. She stars in two roles - she's the young, super-friendly and wholesome cashier that he always lines up for due to her smile. But when not at work, she dons her private style - and he doesn't recognize her... (Thank God for oblivious manga protagonists.)

She ends up keeping the charade up, switching her name around for him. Both develop feelings for each other, but most of the time they simply socialize behind the store, a place where you can smoke freely - which is what by chance got them in closer touch.

Over time the cast grows to incorporate one of his coworkers, and all the staff at this local supermarket. Many of the people around her catch up with her two identities, and start rooting for her, especially her manager who wants to see some proper romantic developments, but both our lovebirds are too good at leaving things unsaid, and the whole Yamada/Tayama setup she maintains is not helping.

Given that this is about adults the slow-burn is even more surprising, barely progressing beyond touching at times and then taking at least one if not two steps back for each forward. Still, it's a very rewarding read to me. I do not want to label it "slice of life," but I guess you could call it that as well.

My Little Monster

Talk about a bad start! I really was put off by the male lead's first appearance, given that he was threatening the heroine. In the end, however, this seemed to be a fluke and didn't repeat. (Well, there are incidents but they don't rub me the same.) It left a sour taste for a while but I stayed with the series, and am glad for it.

She is obsessed with studying to an obscene degree, he is afraid of attending school and considered a delinquent, especially due to his threatening stare. In the end it they are drawn to each other, but their timing is at times horrible, they're not good at understanding their own feelings or each other's. Adding up to a surprising good, long read.

One thing that is good about the series is the humor, the quirks of the characters, watching their struggles is fun. Characters are indeed a strength of this series. We eventually also learn the psychological background why our leads are as they are. Mixed with a lot of high school slice-of-life, all taken together, "My Little Monster" is something you want to follow to finish.

The one thing that kept me confused was why Haru (male lead) was so strongly traumatized, and even after the end of the anime season you wouldn't really know - this part comes in very slowly, but it has to do a lot with abandonment, loss, and rejection - all from within his family as growing up. There are also hints of not being neurotypical on both leads, especially given that Haru is a sort of genius savant. (Still, I'd say, it doesn't all quite add up, so you have to forgive it and read on...)

But what makes you stay in the end are the characters, their unfolding stories, and their interactions. Which is why it's a shame that the last main book rushes through their last year of high school, and the later-added bonus book doesn't fully make up for it, even though it's meant to keep us in touch with all the side stories of the other characters.

Blue Spring Ride

Blue Spring Ride is much easier to understand, its only mystery are the family dynamics of the male lead, and this mystery will be finished by the time you're done with the series as well, probably more like halfway through.

Our lead couple had a blossoming love in middle school, but then he moved away. When they meet again in high school, many years later, he's a different person - his parents' divorce and his mother's death have left him scarred. She in turn tries to get away from being ostracized by pretending to not care about her (good) looks and maintains shallow friendships without authenticity. Their coming back together changes this gradually and a new circle of friends emerges.

Normally this would make for a satisfying story, and for a large part it does, but the last third is built on a "stretching out the gum" plotline that just stirs drama, is built on piling misunderstandings and bad timing, and generally wants to keep the reader around to see how this mess resolves. Thankfully, unlike "Rent-A-Girlfriend", this "keep making money" shtick is only done once. It was still unnerving and soured my impression of the series.

Insomniacs After School

I started reading this one because it was advertised for HiDive and I wanted to watch it there, but the service stopped being offered in my country before I could. I'm glad I did, I find this manga's art style especially evocative and well done, slightly less mainstream.

This is about two high school students who suffer from severe insomnia, the reasons for which will be slowly expanded upon later in the series. They end up reviving the astronomy club at school after being caught abusing the abandoned clubroom for naps and hanging out together. Sleeping in the same room, hearing another's voice (she podcasts for him)... it's a wonderfully intimate series, long before ever they start to act on their feelings in other ways.

As they discover astronomy and photography for themselves, the series expands their and our horizons through very detailed, realistic art. Both the characters also seem more real and less cute than usual, and especially the eyes in the books are amazing by themselves.

It does get quite dramatic at times, and the upcoming volumes to be translated will amp up that drama (I peeked), but in general, this series seems very real and original, definitely not something that regurgitates just tropes. Highly recommended!