#i can fix him. maybe.

[deviouz]

. . . mean!ascended astarion headcanons !!

Something about Astarion’s ascension had changed him, mind, body, and soul. His very chemistry had been altered, everything that had made him him, was rewritten. He had always said that it was for the best, that he was better in every way imaginable after gaining such heightened powers, but that day was troubling for you. Astarion, your Astarion, had died. Nothing perturbed him more than seeing that far off, longing expression etched into your features whenever you thought he wasn’t looking. Gods know he’ll make you regret it later.

“And just what was going on in that pretty little head of yours earlier, my sweet consort? You couldn’t possibly have been thinking about him, could you? No, that simply won’t do. Perhaps all could be forgiven if you get down to your knees and grovel before me. I’m feeling rather nice today, as it is, so beg and I might be tempted to show you a sliver of mercy.”

Astarion is no stranger to any kind of public displays, but he seems to be much keener on doing so in front of his inferiors. To look upon a crowd of people who are no doubt petrified of their ascended vampire lord alone is invigorating, but to be able to do so with you mindlessly rutting away on his thigh makes him feel much more powerful. To have the savior of Baldur’s Gate rendered down to a pleasure-driven pet, and all his for taking, is just one of the many ways he rules with an iron fist. He’ll have one hand on your hip, guiding you along the fine fabric of his pants, and the other propping his head up as he looks amongst the crowd with a smirk. It was completely and utterly humiliating the first few times he had called for your presence and demanded you to undress completely in front of so many people, but he had long since bullied those thoughts out of your head.

“Yes, that’s it. Come on, darling, you can moan louder than that. I would certainly know. Let them see how well I treat the savior of Baldur’s Gate.”

Your lover could be cruel at times, but nothing ever felt crueler than when he would relentlessly pound into your aching heat with such fervor you were sure you’d be unable to walk come the early hours of the morning. He simply adored pinning your hands above your head, his hips rutting in such a way that it made your eyes roll back and clamp shut. The pleasure was almost always too much yet never enough. It didn’t matter how prettily you begged for astarion, for your lord. He was cruel in these moments. With a grip to your jaw, he’d squeeze your cheeks together and demand you to gaze into his crimson eyes. Astarion relished in witnessing the glassy fog that overtook your irises each and every time you came around his cock, body perfectly bowed and cries loud enough to reverberate in the room, perhaps the entire castle. He was the only one ever capable enough to draw such intense pleasure from your body. He’d kill anyone who ever even thought of you in such a way.

“Ah, ah, ah. look at me, won’t you? Let me see lust-laden those eyes when I grant you such ecstasy. Such a good girl, aren’t you?”

Oh, how Astarion loved to hear those pathetic little pleas and blubbering begs escape past kiss-swollen lips. Your teary eyes read nothing but desperation, and that much was evident by the way your hips twitched and gyrated each time his touch would disappear. Of course, you had Astarion practically wrapped around your finger. All it took was a few slow, desperate blinks and a couple of soft pleas to have your way, but that was long before he had ascended. Now, Astarion would have you beg, long and loud, until your voice went hoarse and lungs felt as if they were going to give out. He would do this all the while smiling so sweetly down at you, a type of sickly sweet that made goosebumps dot across your skin and all the hairs on your body stand up.

“Come on, darling, don’t be so coy. This coquettish nature is long since necessary. Let me hear those pretty pleas and I will grant you such immense pleasure.”

Astarion’s ascension had brought something new from the depths of what was left of his depraved soul. He relished in your tears. The sheer vulnerability carved into such perfect, delicate features, and all by his doing? Oh, he simply adored it. Nothing is sweeter than seeing you write and sob in his arms, teetering on the edge of your umpteenth orgasm of the night, yet he wasn’t even halfway done with you. You’re a shuddering, sweating, and sobbing mess of numb limbs and can’t help but spew out a cacophony of desperate begs for his relent, but it is never really that easy. Not with Astarion, anyhow. On the other hand, he could be just as equally cruel and spend the entire day bringing you to the blissful edge of what was sure to be a mind-shattering orgasm, over and over and over again, just to practically laugh in your face and deny it. You can pout and grovel all you’d like, but your pleasure is his and his alone. Astarion is the only one who gets to decide when and where you are allowed the pleasure, and sometimes displeasure, of an orgasm, and it’s something he instills in your mind every now and again.

“Really now, pet, did you really think that I was finished with you? Oh, you poor thing — you are quite mistaken. The night has only just begun, after all, and I haven’t had my fill yet, so you will sit there, nice and pretty, and take what I give you with every ounce of gratitude that delectable body of yours can muster.”

[fanfic-gremlin-ft-trauma]

Kyoshi warrior Sokka is my reason to keep going (ft. Bonus Zuko and Suki)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Why would you—That's not—I just wanted to ask for help, why did you have to go and make it awkward???

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[wormspoodle]

when you blew up a city and watched it sink into the magma below

[jerrsterrr]

i luv solarlunacy

ඞ

eougggheoeuggeh

Shakes them around instead of doing anything i need to. do.

[ryllen]

miscellaneous

[eaudecrow]

I am making DCA pins >:)

@oobbbear as promised, these are dedicated to you for the inspiration and advice!

[realbeefman]

i enter princeton-plainsboro community hospital and call for “dr daddy issues” and the entire staff of the malpractice diagnostics department looks up

[magnusbae]

On the rare occasions when Hob is actually mad at Dream— he refuses to sleep. Coffee, energy drinks and the God forsaken awakeness pills? All fair game. If he has to inject caffeine directly into his vein, he would. Hob doesn't often get mad, but when he does, he likes to make a point. Dream and Hob match in more than one ways, really, they do. And so it is that the Dream Lord must come out of his realm personally to sprinkle sand into his lover's eyes because he'd be damned if Hob refuses his gift for more than two nights in a row. Not speaking for 100 years? Easy. Hob refusing sleep? Unacceptable.

[emdotcom]

If you re-bagle, the sable will be able.

[ilikestuffthatsparkles]

Theon leaving

[eff-plays]

I think Wyll is prettier than Astarion. There I said it. Astarion is more interesting certainly but mainly because Wyll is easier to look at. I just kick my legs and giggle whenever he's on screen. Mesmerized by him. Cannot tear my eyes away type shit.

[anna-scribbles]

really kind of taylor to release an album about the perils of fame / falling in love with the most toxic man alive right at the height of my emilie agreste insanity

[lily-alphonse]

Helpless, ADHD riddled farmer falls hard for Harvey

Farmer: I’ve devoted my entire crop to coffee beans because I do not know how to express love via normal means!

Harvey: Wow! No one has ever loved me like this! I… I love you too, farmer.”

(They kiss)

Harvey: Uh. Did you plant… only coffee? On all 23 acres of your farm?

Farmer: Was I not supposed to?

Harvey: Oh honey :|

Farmer: Please help I am woefully inept :D

Harvey: :/

Farmer: :D

Farmer: I spent the last of my savings on this cool pendant and I want you to have it (brandishes mermaid pendant)

Harvey: (shocked, tears in his eyes) Do you know what this means?

Farmer: Please save me from myself :D

(Harvey accepts, gets farmer on meds and gently guides them away from horrible decisions while farmer brightens their days with their shenanigans and they live happily ever after)

[aseriesofunfortunatetexts]

asoue + tumblr

[vigilskeep]

if you took a bad enough hit while dao rock armour was active, could you have scars from blunt force trauma that spiderweb like cracks in stone