#i can't really do much about what's happened inbetween the years of thinking i was suffering

[payasitas]

took 30pts of psychic damage today in visiting my old online stomping grounds

[sassypantsjaxon]

Fuck it. UA instructors as...things the staff from my college have done, I guess?

Because it's been three and a half years since I graduated and I miss that place every single day

Principal Nezu

Principal Nezu has everybody's names, faces, and quirks memorized before the first day of school. This is never acknowledged.

(Recovery Girl also learns everybody pretty much right away, but she interacts with them a bit more directly than Nezu, so it doesn't seem quite as weird)

Somehow Nezu manages to both be so chill and yet have no chill.

Nezu once texted Mic to ask if he was available for a call about some program at school and when Mic didn't answer within 15 minutes because he was DRIVING Nezu just called him anyway and was like "is this a bad time? I can call you back :)" Like, no,no, We're both here now, let's have this conversation now. Go ahead

One time Nezu pulled the Big Three out of their classes and brought them into his office to sit them down like he was about to have a Big Serious Conversation, and then he just says "Do you think...it would be possible for you to visit the first year hero classes...and tell them about your experiences? :)" Mirio and Nejire are both going "yeah, sure", while thinking why did we have to get pulled out of class like this was something really important? Amajiki is hyperventilating.

Power loader

Power Loader is like some kind of cryptid.

He just shows up when things need to be fixed, fixes them, and then disappears again. He never says a word. Don't question it, just be grateful and let him stay in his hiding place

Random knowledge. Whenever the rest of the staff has some random question that no one else can answer. Ask Power Loader. He knows. He always know. Don't question that either, he's just one of those kind of people

Power loader and All Might are the only two teachers who were asked to come to UA instead of having to apply

13

Actually 13 falls somewhere inbetween applying and being asked to join the staff, because she kind of created her own job.

She just had a meeting with Nezu one day to be like "Your students need an Unforeseen Simulation Joint! Here's what that means and why you need it" And Nezu went "... :) You're hired!"

All Might

Toughest person anybody knows. Can not handle spicy food.

Everybody loves him. Anybody who doesn't isn't cut out for hero school. This is not bragging, it just happens to be true.

All Might once listed one of his credentials as BAMF. (Izuku absolutely lost it that day)

While discussing I Island with Izuku, All Might very casually stated "My ex husband lives there" as if that isn't an Absolute Bombshell to drop You can't just Say That and NOT ELABORATE WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVE AN EXHUSBAND!?!!???? (Izuku lost it even more that day)

Present Mic

Mic has a bad habit of talking a little too fast. Nobody's ever 100% sure what he said.

Also he swears. Like. A lot. Like, he would get in trouble as a student for swearing.

There is a drawer on Mic's desk that's labeled 'Present Mic's Top Secret Hiding Place' and anybody who notices it is just like ??? because it's clearly labeled and Not a Secret. But Mic is very scatter brained and will lose anything as soon as it leaves his eyesight. Having a specific place to put things help with that.

EraserMic

Married. But they don't really talk about it, and they don't act married in front of the students, so a lot of them don't realize it

It's actually surprising because they have pictures of them and their kids on their desks. All you have to do is go to the teacher's office. It's not a secret. It's right there.

There's a class for the second years on like, heroism and personal lives or something. Eraser and Mic get to teach part of that unit because they have experience being married heroes.

One year when Aizawa says that he's married to Mic one of the students asks him why

That same year, when Aizawa reveals that there is one teacher he will never be friends with (like, even more than all the other teachers), just because they have nothing in common other than working at UA, and the same student asks him if it's Mic

People assume Mic gets special treatment as Aizawa's husband. This is not true. If anything, he's more likely to get the short end of the stick and be asked to cover for Aizawa.

Eraser Head

Aizawa forgot that there was supposed to be a chaperone for the remedial licensing training and said he would probably be the one doing it. He was not. He sent Mic. Thus proving the previous statement true.

Bad at interpersonal relationships

Has a bad habit of mumbling. Students are never 100% sure what he said

At some point, the people around him start referring to doing anything overly rational as 'pulling an Aizawa'. Yeah. ...yeah...

[multisstuff]

My own sleeping beauty (Chrollo-Fluff)

Today is just a day where you don´t want to leave your bed, where simply getting out of bed is a horrible task, where brushing your teeth seems impossible, where the thought of eating breakfast makes you sick because you'd have to get out of bed first.

And you know you have to get up because it´s not healthy to let your depression wash all over you again and chain you to your bed to rot. But you just can't help it. You really can't. So to tune your negative thoughts off, you simply turn to the other side and shut your eyes for another dreamless nap. You already know that it´ll leave you even more exhausted than now.

After some time, you´re being woken up by your boyfriend, who is gently stroking your hair and calling your name. Lazily, you turn to your back to look at him while mentally scolding yourself for spending the whole day sleeping.

"Good morning, my dear," he chuckles. "Or should I say good evening?" You can´t help but feel guilty for doing nothing productive today. Starting to hate yourself for being like this then hating on yourself again for feeling so much hate for your own brain, which is a never ending cycle of growing hate towards you.

"Sorry, I should have made dinner for us since you´ve been working this whole week while I´ve been at home doing nothing." You slowly sit yourself up and try to rub the sleep out of your eyes, feeling ashamed. "I just don´t know what´s wrong with me. I can´t even say that I´ve rested well," you feel the tears welling in your eyes as you explain yourself to your boyfriend, "I dont know why this keeps happening to me like last week I've been doing so well but now I have this urge to isolate myself and rot away in my bed... I'm sorry."

Chrollo knows that you sometimes struggle with your mental health which worries him a lot when he's not with you. Thinking and researching of ways to help you like buying you a nice bullet journal for to-do lists or hiding little self-written poems so that when you do something like cooking you'd find it inbetween the plates. But even those are sometimes not enough.

Now that you´re sitting he lets his hand slide down to cup your cheek and says"My love, there is nothing to feel guilty about. I won´t judge you for you are only human too" He then grabs you gently by your waist and pulls you onto his lap so that he can embrace you. "Even if you were to sleep all year long I´d not leave your side," he whispers while rubbing your back. "You are like my own sleeping beauty, who only awakens with the gentle touch of true love".

His words never fail to fluster you, leaving you wondering how he can still be in love with you even though you can be such a mess sometimes. Overwhelmed by his statement, you can´t find the right words to say something back, so you just sigh and lean your head in the crook of his neck.

Suddenly he stands up with you in his arms "How does a bath together sound to you, my dear?" Without waiting for your answer he proceeds to walk to your shared bathroom and put you down on the closed toilet so that he can prepare the bath. While the tub is filling up with water, Chrollo gives you a gentle kiss on your forehead and instructs you to wait there for him.

While he was gone, you forced yourself to stand up and brush your teeth then to throw a bath ball into the now full tub. Chrollo enters the bathroom again with fresh clothes for you and him in his hand and smiles lovingly as he sees you. He puts the clothes on the washing machine and helps you out of your pajama.

After helping you into the bathtub he takes off his outfit as well and puts it with your clothes in the basket. Chrollo then sits down behind you in the bathtub while grabbing the sponge and gently cleaning your back. "My beloved, I´m so proud of you" he whispers, "Despite your own mind turning against you, you have not given up. And I admire you for that, my love," he puts the sponge away and starts washing your hair with soft and gentle motions.

"For most people, waking up with energy and self-love is a given. But not for you - you have to struggle with your own thoughts and mind everyday." He takes your jaw into his hand and slightly turns it to him so that he can give you a soft kiss on the temple, "But my dear, you are still standing strong and fighting. So I can´t help but be proud of you, my precious angel."

♡♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡♡

[ask-squidbeaks-agents]

How do you imagine each member of the NSS gang (+ Kay & Gen) in 10 years? What do you think they'd accomplish and lose inbetween that large gap of time?

// Hmm honestly I haven't though that far ahead in their stories yet lol but I do have some vague ideas- not sure if this answers your ask very well though sorry-

Three would still be Captain of the NSS (which would maybe have a few new recruits) and while they would still fight off any potential threats I do think they would- to a degree achieve some sort of peace- at least within the Inkopolis/Splatlands area. He would also take back up DJ-ing part time thanks to Callie and Marina's persuasions, doing something like that would definitely work as a sort of stress relief. Loss wise- Three's sanitization scars would slightly worsen within his eye and ear, causing him to be fully blind/deaf on his right side.

Four- well she wouldn't really change much and nor would her life, other than normal agent achievements I can't really think of much. She'd cut off her dad as she got older and more sick of him (especially after finding out what happened between him and Three)

Eight would've gone on to help Marina more with her Memverse project, motivated by the idea of finding his sister April. Helping those affected by Tartar would kinda help his slight survivors guilt. He would never give up on trying to find his missing sisters (April and May) but wither he does find them? Who knows. OH yeah Eight and Three would maybe probably get married???? Probably

Neo would spend a lot of that time trying to educate others about Salmonids and their culture, how they aren't mindless beasts like Grizzco has paraded. It would take years but at least in the Splatlands Neo would eventually succeed and help with bringing the two together. Neo would also (somehow) become closer to Deep Cut, kinda in the same vein as Eight and Off The Hook lol. I don't think Neo would really lose anything? Maybe their will to give a f-

Kay well he'd advance up in rank, becoming a DCI himself however in doing so means he would no longer be on the same team as his boss Himeka, having to move on and learn to navigate his new job without her. They would still be in contact but no more work mum for Kay lol Oh yeah Kay and Four would be together.

Gen for her the biggest accomplishment she'd make would be becoming one of the very top rank players with her team, filling a goal set out for her since childhood- her biggest loss- technically that's a major spoiler for a flash forward storyline I want to do in the blog eventually :) (i know ask says 10 years but this event would happen a few years post blog anyway so-) but hey another happy thing is she'd get engaged to her girlfriend.

Oh also no art sorry- I have not a single clue what future versions would look like at this moment in time-

[dlartistanon]

i was really itching to kind of pinpoint when exactly arknights started becoming less tacticool, cant get it out of my head lol. so i went and had a look at the operators released in the cn order. you mentioned hoshieve left in late 2021, and the first event the following year is i2w (blacknight...). but okay, maybe it's not this event since we still got ling and kroos for example. still, i think it just starts increasing in 'fantasy' elements after that and guide ahead.

i'd argue it might be the very nation-specific events giving off those vibes, like lingering echoes, il siracusano, vernal winds... even stultifera navis...? perhaps it's not necessarily yan/higashi. eben and the crew fit in leithanien's setting but perhaps not so much as operators? inbetween these cn had ch11 and dorothy's vision, which are arguably still a bit techy in design, like stainless and greyy alter. perhaps the main story still warrants that style, while dv as a rhine event cant possibly go without the tech. i think the most recent tacticool op is in fact firewhistle, which makes her kinda stand out compared to the rest of the vernal winds ops. despite that it doesnt feel the same as before, perhaps due to having the majority of recent ops more fantasy-like. or maybe im too far off looking into this lol

anyway, i do wonder who the current art director is. i hope ak year 4-5 has some good techwear ops to come...

I can't believe the artist for Blacknight/Kazemaru/Erato/Cantabile ruined AK's tacticool theming

I didn't pay too much attention to Guiding Ahead's story, but why is it that a nation living under the rule of what is essentially a giant supercomputer still has characters who look like they're from a nondescript JRPG.

It could very well be a nation-specific issue instead of a more general (downward) trend. But even with the countries you listed, you still have the question of "what about this nation or event that makes these designs feel so off?".

In contrast, events like Darknights Memoir, Maria Nearl/Near Light, and even Mansfield Break remained within the realm of making sense for the location while still having techwear.

I don't know. I don't know what happened or who's responsible, but it's nice to know that there are other people who agree that something about AK's art has changed. And not necessarily in a favorable direction.

[davepetea]

((just ranting abt writing fanfics you can ignore me lmao. I'm just in a weird place atm but I'm feeling kinda passionate abt writing rn so I'm gonna vent

originally I wrote a lil of this in the tags but then decided to just chuck it under a readmore so people aren't subjected to it against their will. then it got really long.

I'm not actually expecting anyone to read this im just sorta venting to myself. it helps me get my thoughts sorted if I write them down. I can also look back through my #.vat file tag in a few years from now and hopefully be like "wow I'm doing so much better than THAT now", so if that's the case, hi future Vatta! I hope you're having a good day. and if you're not future me, then I still hope you're having a good day, I love you, and this is your chance to turn back bc my rants are boring and LONG

(not turning back yet? ok. your funeral)

so, I haven't been online much bc I've just been in a weird limbo lately and I'm really busy when I'm at home either sorting stuff out or, with my PDA, doing anything I can to avoid my responsibilities lmao

I've been rereading my Tokyo ghoul light novels (I only have Void and Days ? I think they're called), rewatching Zankyou no Terror, and Bungou Stray Dogs (plus the live action Beast film which was? hilarious but I don't think it was supposed to be), and just suffering lmao

(you're still here? wow. you need a hobby. jk. ily)

I've been locked out of the systems at work for a bit, but I still need to be there and wait for the IT ticket to be sorted, so I've gotta be at my desk, cant have my phone or anything, so instead of sitting there doing nothing, I've either been reading, doing codeword puzzles, or I've been writing up 'drafts' for potential fanfics.

in this year of our sufferer 2024. I've been writing up some self indulgent homestuck college AU lmao. I've written over 60 sides of a5, (not inc the inbetween sections where I wrote some stuff on the chromebook at home) some notes, some accidental first draft, bc I wanted something to take up the time. but my handwriting is terrible, I don't write fast enough for my brain, I have a lil dyslexia so the letters and words get jumbled sometimes, and I have this weird thing where I don't do spaces right. but I've been trying to upload it to Google docs with Bixby's photo text extraction. it's pretty good considering how bad my writing is, then I just need to go through and touch it up, the main issues are things like names, there's some letters I do weird like my v turns into an r, or every p it thinks is a capital, but overall. amazing how technology do that.

(see my long ass rambling isn't just confined to venting. I also pretend to write actual things. you can still leave you know. I'm not holding you hostage until you read all this. you have free will)

can't remember how I ended up back in fanfic hell but I read back through like all my old published fics (aside from the cringe ones I orphaned) and the writing isn't terrible. I don't think I actually finished any of them though, which really shows my true nature lmao,,, but I've picked up a few things on my writing style now. and I've got a few things I see other people do that I wanna avoid bc I personally don't like it, and it's mostly about balance, like using names too often/not enough, being too descriptive like All The Time and making the writing really nice, but not much happens in the story so you take like an hour to read each scene, vs not enough description so everything is happening but you don't really get a visual or a breather to appreciate what's happened so far. I've been working on finding my right balance, which is imo easier if you're writing fanfic bc first up you hardly ever have to describe the characters. if someone's reading it they already know who they are. and for scenes you can take some inspo from the source material. does the original work put alot of effort into setting a cool scene? if not, then you don't have to either! if it's 90% scenery then you've gotta do it too I don't make the rules

I'm losing steam now I'm so sleepy and I've gotta go to work in a bit ugh.

(bet you're sleepy reading this too huh. told you it'd be boring)

I've been thinking about trying out writing some BSD fics but on an anonym not linked to my main Ao3, bc the themes are doozys and I kinda just wanna have the freedom of anonymity. also I'm a baby and if someone publicly criticises my stuff without it being a requested critique then it makes me bleh (I've had a few comments in the past of just general negatives, not even constructive feedback, not that I asked for any anyway...), but the abilities are tricky to write for, so it's effort lol

anyway I'm gonna stop now ive gotta get ready for work

(if you actually read this then thanks for going on this emotion deep dive with me. tune in next week when we'll get back to my usual mental breakdown)

[medicus-felini]

ᓚᘏᗢ Small (actually not so small) vent below. [Depression tw]

I don't know how to describe it exactly why but I got a massive mental burnout the other day. It may be not my bestest decision to share it here but I feel writing it down is better than keeping it for myself.

All the bad things that happened and still happen to me caught up. I feel awful. I lie awake the whole night only to break out in tears when my partner woke up. There was too much in my head to even spell out what exactly made me break down.

I am looking for a job for years, trying to get a normal daily shedule only to never get an answer and to fuck up my sleep shedule for the 100th time. I am getting 25 this year. My depression and panic disorder I developed when covid began seemed to 'heal' in a way. I went to group therapy, got medication which I still take to this day. I am stuck because I have trouble doing phone calls. Trouble TIPING IN numbers for real therapists.

Time is awful. When will I be done with learning a job? I will be 28 if it happens someone recruits me this year. And then I work. I will have so much less time for things I like. Speaking of which: I catch myself falling into the 'I don't enjoy the things I normally enjoyed' loop again. That was one of the main reasons for taking antidepresants and it now seems to crawl back.

I want to at least do something I enjoy. Writing, drawing, playing video games. I started to feel little joy in it again. It makes me angry to not be happy with my time. I don't want this.

I text my family less and less not because I am mentally exhausted but because of their believes. All except my dad (which I always had little contact to) openly and proudly boast about how they vote right wing parties in Germany. You can't discuss with them. I can't. Because I instantly start crying like some trauma haunted 12 year old back in the day when my mom raised her voice. This party I am speaking of actively stands for traditional beliefs, inbetween against lgbtqia+ (which, surprise, I am part of).

They only see points they like. "Oh, they won't get this through, you will be fine." BUT YOU VOTE FOR THESE BELIEVES. You actively support these anti lgbtqia+ shit only because you are racist and intolerant towards NORMAL PEOPLE who live their lives in Germany like everybody else for years.

Next thing is they hate my partner. Something that really only was a question of time passing. My mother always seems to dislike my and my sisters partners after some time. Finding little things she can pick on and passive aggressively point them out. Making everyone awkward and feeling unwelcomed. I feel unwelcome. It is my partner. My choice. You despite my choice and thus insult me with it. Family gatherings became horrible. My partner doesn't want to say anything because he is scared to 'mess up' and my mother getting fuel for her hatred. My sister is young and living with her. She took on my mother's believes politcal wise. I love her dearly but I feel like she also only plays mirage only to talk bad behind my back, which she usually does with other people.

I feel so alien. I don't even want to drive over there to my birthday. I would love to but it doesn't feel like my family anymore. It feels all so forced. My dog gets older too. He is the reason I still look forward a little bit when visiting them.

Writing this feels good in a way tho. Even if I know the majority of my moots only as little guys in my screen, I feel loved. I will observe my mental state these next weeks. If it doesn't get better, I'll call my doc and ask if we can higher my dosis. Just so I can think clearly and focus on important matters.

*Siiiigh* okay okay thanks for being lovely babes ♡

[tayfabe75]

I’ve been wanting to get these thoughts out and found your page. I was bored and looked into the Taylor jet tracker for about a month and remember I found it odd that she flew back to NYC inbetween Buenos Aires and Rio. I’m a fan of The 1975 and went to their second MSG show. I noticed her jet flew out of NYC after the show ended, which just seemed odd to me and I joked that maybe Taylor was there in secret. However, Matty ranted about not being nominated for the Grammys and talked about how Kanye was his hero minus the antisemitism because he’s confident about his art. We all know that Kanye is a hurtful topic to Taylor and it seemed pointed for Matty to say that, plus Gabbriette was at the show, so I dismissed the weird plane movement as a coincidence. If Tayfabe is legitimate, what purpose would complementing Kanye serve? IMO if they were to plan a narrative that would allow them to get back together publicly, then a redemption arc for Matty would make sense, but I don’t see that being attempted much apart from some half sincere apologies on stage. I’m definitely open to the theory, just trying to understand how Matty’s comments/posts fit into it. I remember he also talked about that podcast host who said mean things about Taylor’s ED years ago and said she was sweet and misunderstood. It’s moments like this that make me scratch my head and dismiss all the other evidence.

Hi anon! Yes, Taylor mysteriously popped up in NYC between Argentina and Brazil, with Gracie Abrams, no less (who, interestingly enough, once covered 'Somebody Else' for 'The 1975 Takeover' of The Face).

The MSG shows were also notorious for this poster:

Which is kind of giving:

And MSG had the flowers during Be My Mistake, as well as the Robbers shirt, appearances by Tim and Carly, and the full LIIWMI dance. Big shows!

For me, their current partners are not super significant in my theorizing. So, their presence anywhere, for me personally, does not indicate much other than that Taylor and Matty want to be seen with them and want to look as if they've moved on. If all eyes are on the current partner, then no one is looking in the stands.

When it comes to Kanye… Oh boy. Where do I begin? I guess here: You said "We all know that Kanye is a hurtful topic" - do we know that? Or do we assume it based on Reputation? See, Taylor doesn't really confirm who her songs are about, but one of the few songs she did seem to confirm was that 'Innocent' was about Kanye:

Swift premiered this song about Kanye West at the scene of the crime-the MTV Music Video Awards. "I think a lot of people expected me to write a song about him. But for me it was important to write a song to him."

I can't personally reconcile Innocent and LWYMMD both being about Kanye West. LWYMMD seems more like it's about the media perception of her beef. Blank Space's big sister:

At the end of the day, Taylor and Kanye both benefitted from their second "feud", in the 'no publicity is bad publicity' sort of way. Now, if I base my theories largely off of Brad Troemel's work, and Brad then insinuates that celebrity feuds happen on purpose, then I have to question the legitimacy of the 2016-era feud.

Perhaps, like Matty, Kanye West is someone who doesn't mind being a pretend supervillain. Though, since then, Kanye has veered off course a little bit, something Matty talked about on the Ion Pack podcast here:

"The thing that bums me out with Kanye is that like, he's obviously somebody who is dealing with grief and has mental health issues. That's not an excuse to do antisemitism. It's not really, is it? … I'm all for the kind of Kaufman-esque or Warholian-esque blurring of boundaries - if you can do something in a film, why can't you do it in real life? - like his belief that him and Kim are like the kind of ultimate piece of art of the past decade and stuff like that. I mean, it's a fair argument or whatever, but like, there's stuff that's more important than art. Like people. People are more important than art. And there's kids involved in this artistic expression. That's what fucking pisses me off. If I was a kid, and I was having like, high art concepts of what reality is forced on me by my dad, I'd be really scared. Because I just wanna know what reality is. Like when I saw The Truman Show at ten years old, that was enough to fuck me up. I had to check that my parents were my parents. When you're a kid your imagination is so insane. Like, be an artist, be an adult. But let kids be kids. You've got to draw a line when you're being a conceptual artist, like when you're hurting people. Because it's just not fucking worth it. Art's not worth hurting people. A lot of artists get lost in the kind of, I've done it - basically being an asshole, because I was doing something artistic."

I'd be willing to bet that if Kanye truly is suffering from mental health issues, Taylor would probably agree with what Matty said on stage - that he is a great artist apart from the antisemitism. Is that not… a perfectly 'acceptable' take? Do you genuinely feel like Matty needs to be either punished or 'redeemed' for a couple comments about Kanye West? You think he and Taylor really never talked about any of that in person? I know people think I make a lot of weird assumptions, but I have to say that I find everyone else's assumptions equally strange.

In the world of 'Tayfabe', Matty and Taylor are currently acting out "a contest of who can act like they care less" - so I don't personally see how on-stage Kanye comments even conflict with the theory whatsoever - especially in that I don't assume Matty's words to be said with malintent (well, for anyone other than the grammys). So let's investigate Matty's exact quote and see if he was, indeed, trying to specifically insult or hurt Taylor:

"The fact that we didn't get nominated for a grammy is a fucking outrage. And the thing is, the reason people don't say that is 'cause it's not a very tasteful thing to say. But I'm way past tasteful. Are you fucking mental? Brief Inquiry, I Like It When You Sleep, nothing. Fuck off! Dickheads. What the fuck are they on about? I mean 'About You' just on its own merits deserves a fucking grammy. I mean, I don't really care that much, but it just winds me up. I'll tell you what. Tell me of anybody who's been nominated in the past four years. You know what? I'm not being self-celebratory, but Kanye is one of my heroes. You know what? You gotta fucking believe in yourself. That's an awkward hero to have right now. I understand that but separate the antisemitism. Just think about the self-belief (audience boos and Matty laughs). And the truth is - No! Just tell me. Literally, tell me one band in the past four years that could do what we're gonna do in the next three minutes."

See, I didn't get a lick of Taylor shade from any of that. What I got was Matty ranting about a grammy snub and gassing up his band. At the risk of sounding arrogant, he alludes to Kanye's many comments throughout the years about his self-professed genius, such as my personal favorite: "My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live."

But, Anon, if you truly believe that Matty called Kanye his hero not because Kanye is a loud and proud confident artist, but in the sense that he admires how Kanye treated Taylor, can I ask why you even want them together?

And truly, has Matty not apologized enough for you? Ice Spice accepted his apology. Did he really offend you so deeply that he needs to keep apologizing for jokes that happened almost a year ago? If so, might I ask what would be a suitable 'punishment' would be? Because I listened to the dreaded podcast and I heard Adam make the Ice Spice joke, and it was Adam that named the porn website (American accent) and Matty unfortunately leaned into it and carried on with his story. I fail to see the 'crimes' here that he must still be flagellated for. Bad taste? Ignorance? Oh sure. Roll your eyes and carry on. Stop supporting The 1975 if you must. But what else, really, must be atoned for? As for Red Scare, again, I beg - is Matty responsible for everything anyone he's ever associated with has said? If so, Charli XCX is a fan of Red Scare and once collaborated with Dasha. Perhaps she deserves the stocks, too? I listened to that Red Scare episode too. I heard a pair of judgmental girls projecting their insecurities onto Taylor. Maybe someone can be sweet and misunderstood and still say ugly things about a celebrity. Truly, have you never done it? I'm sure I have. I try not to now, but the best we can do is hope that people learn from their mistakes, rather than expect them to be born perfect and never make one.

Here's a good article that I hope will shed some light on why Matty isn't interested in apologizing ad infinitum or being a pawn in the culture wars. As a bleeding heart liberal myself who is frankly disgusted by what culture has become, I believe Matty Healy is lightyears ahead of everyone else on the 'woke' front.

[12raben]

Get to know you- Sims Style

I have been tagged by @niamh-sims. I play TS2 for the most part. VERY rarely, I create a sim in TS1, play a little, get bored quickly. But I have fond childhood memories of playing TS1 with my friends. I very briefly played TS3, but my PC was not able to handle it, when it came out and I was just not into it. I don't play TS4 anymore, because it makes me angry.

What’s your favorite Sims death?

Of all the games? In TS1 when my sim had been turned into a frog and was eaten by a dragon. That was pretty memorable. In TS2 it's a hard pick between beeing scared to death, because the sim peeped into a coffin or when they use the business perk and choke to death. (Just looked it up. I meant Rally Forth.)

Alpha CC or Maxis Match?

It depends. Maxis Match is better for a modern setting. Alpha CC better suits my medieval game.

Do you cheat your sims weight?

Just in the beginning. I use a randomizer to determine their weight and manipulate it ingame with simblender. What happens afterwards just happens.

Do you move objects?

Very often. Though sometimes it's easier to turn it off. (e.g. when placing windows and doors.)

Favorite Mod?

This is hard. Would you say, that lazy duchess rcp launcher is a mod? It kinda is, right? So that. And if that doesn't count... ACR. Because it is more versatile than Romantic Standards and it has been a reliable source of ingame drama for many years.

First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack?

Ugh, that was so(!) long ago. It was TS1. Either Hot Date or Livin Large. Can't remember.

Do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing?

Live like aLIVE. Though this argument is really not my cup of tea. I always though of it "beeing live", like "live on TV".

Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made?

I had a teen girl named Madleine Hlothran in Twinhills. She was a very fortunate combination of her parents genes, though I didn't really "make" her in Bodyshop, I got lucky in CAS.

Have you made a simself?

Quite often. Sometimes I sneak her into my game as an NPC. There are multiple versions depending on the CC I'm playing with. Sometimes it's fun to see my sims interact with her.

Which is your favorite EA hair color?

Honestly in TS2 I like the "custom" haircolors very much. I don't give them often to my sims.

Favorite EA hair?

My favourite hair is the pink version of this hairstyle.

Favorite life stage?

I like teens. I like their drama, their interactions and the voices.

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

I really like gameplay, but I have phases, when all I want to do is build. I want my lots to be perfect though. So all lots are in a constant wip-stage.

Are you a CC creator?

More or less. I make smaller edits in simpe for myself quite often, but sometimes I share stuff. Mainly Bodyshop CC and occasionally a neighborhood map.

Do you have any Simblr friends or a Sim Squad?

No. I had many pleasant exchanges with the community though. Everybody has been very nice (so far)... 😚

Do you have any sims merch?

No.

Do you have a YouTube for sims?

No, but I often thought about starting a channel. I made a lot of machinima, when I was younger, but alas not anymore. But speed builds? Tutorial-esque videos? I would probably only upload once a month, but.... 🤷‍♀️

How has your “Sims style” changed throughout your years of playing?

Can you imagine, that I played a really, really, really long time without any CC? I think, I had my first CC, when freetime came out. My english was worse back then, so half the time I did not know, what I was doing or how to install stuff properly. By chance I stumbled over Windlebridge, a massive CC intense hood (wayback machine link, it'll take sometime to load). I wanted to have that. And that was when I started to really get into modding TS2 (and learning english) From that time on, I flipped inbetween historical and modern gameplay. I still think both styles can be great fun. My current CC folder for medieval game is very puristic (only 7 gigs), but I am aiming for a fantasy game next. That is something new and sounds very exciting.

Who’s your favorite CC creator?

This is hard. I want to say @midgethetree. Such a generous and patient person and so many great mods. Just gorgeous.

How long have you had Simblr?

My first post was on 30th january 2015. But is this the day I joined? Probably not. I' pretty sure, I was lurking at first.

How do you edit your pictures?

I use Gimp. Usually I just use it to resize pictures.

What expansion/ gamepack is your favorite?

TS1: Makin' Magic TS2: Seasons

Tagging @withlovefromsimtown & @helene2troie

Happy simming :)

[edvinception]

I posted 1,029 times in 2022

That's 1,029 more posts than 2021!

767 posts created (75%)

262 posts reblogged (25%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@royaledvin

@royalsomar

@grizviser

@plantbasedfish

@filmsbyedvin

I tagged 994 of my posts in 2022

Only 3% of my posts had no tags

#edvin ryding - 779 posts

#ask - 434 posts

#young royals - 255 posts

#omar rudberg - 166 posts

#gåsmamman - 85 posts

#yr s2 spoilers - 65 posts

#young royals spoilers - 37 posts

#gåsmamman spoilers - 32 posts

#cannes - 29 posts

#malte gårdinger - 28 posts

Longest Tag: 109 characters

#i just try to focus on the positive and thankfully i think the negative people are very few and far inbetween

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I asked for an Edmar photoshoot with the same vibes as the Interview magazine article with Tarjei and Henrik and we got it!!!!

See the full post

198 notes - Posted October 14, 2022

#4

These pictures!!!

See the full post

225 notes - Posted July 9, 2022

#3

This picture though!

301 notes - Posted September 3, 2022

#2

My thoughts about Edvin's sommarprat

And a little bit of a summary

My first thought was that he has great voice to listen to.

He talks alot about being scared to lose himself and become someone he doesn't want to be. It's a red thread through it all and well captures who he is as a person.

He also says that's he has always worked hard during his 14 years in the business and that he's so grateful for those years.

Then everything changed exactly one year ago and it took him a long time to reflect over what he had experienced - 174 days. What happened? Is he happy? Was his experience good or bad? How could it happen? It all went so fast!

The focus of his sommar is the 174 days following the premier, autumn of 2021.

Even though this is something we've kind of suspected, hearing him say it feels raw.

He's so scared to lose himself, to become someone he doesn't want to be. He feels like a deep thinker. An overthinker and wow I recognise that in myself so much...

The way he talks about thinking over and over about what to post for the premier... relatable...tbe way he couldn't sleep... relatable...the way he wanted to check with everyone else when they would post a few minutes before the premier or a few minutes after? 9 am sharp?

I think about things like that all the time and I can't imagine how that moment was for him makes me feel both 😅 and 🥺

He talks about the posters across Stockholm beforehand and how it made him exposed. How scared he was the day before and how he felt "like shit" and he couldn't do anyhting but just ait quietly while eating pizza with his friends.

And then we know what happened...

He talks about the day after. People filmed themselves while reacting people dm:d him on instagram. Hia followers climbed. The production met for a celebration.

He talks so much about keeping both feet on the ground and keep his integrity and being scared of getting to full of himself.

- I'll say this over and over because it really is the red thread.

It took him five days to reach 100k followers and his mother woke him up to tell him. He was sleeping on the couch after a party.

His talk feels so honest and he's not acared to admit that it hasn't been just a good experience for him but also scary, overwhelming and made him overthink alot.

He talks about losing controll over the role of Wilhelm because now he belonged to everyone.

He talks about getting offers for roles that were to similar to Wilhelm and how he was very mindful of what he said yes to and not. He says no to alot of collabs and premiers.

He says it was hard and that he hates saying no to people but that he's proud of himself for doing it.

He talks about Young royals being completely different from the shows he's done in sweden and how so many people contacted him from all around the world, telling him how YR changed their lives, how he changed their lives. How YR have made them come out.

He says it feels surreal that so many people feel like this and that is portrayal of Wilhelm have affected so many real people in real life. He feels proud and honoured.

He talks about his face being tattooed on people's bodies and how he thinks people will regret it. He feels bad that people want his handwriting or face on their body and tried to really make sure they really wanted it.

He feels honoured though but now he's become so used to it. Though he says his looks will change from his 18 year old self that will stay on his fans' bodies for the rest of their lives.

He talks about coming back to school after summer and how he always felt like he belonged there even when he was absent. But things had changed...

People starred in a different way and many more people noticed him in ways that made him uncomfortable as if he had a funny hat on and that's why people starred. They didn't see him as a person. So school went from being a place where he would be himself to making him feel like some sort of attraction for people to look ut. Thankfully it took two months or so before people got used to him and things got better.

He talked alot to his teachers and his so thankful for them.

At times He's wished people would forget so he could just do his thing. He's felt lonely with his feelings sometimes because so few understand. He has talked to the people close to him though.

So for him this talk is a way of letting it all out.

See the full post

302 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Okay, Bo, go off

Bo is Edvin's manager

👀

319 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[loststarcelestial]

Movie rant

let me start off by saying, i am in no way trying to insult someone's taste in movies, nor am i trying to attack anyone Secondly, i am not someone who works in movies i am just someone who loves to create and write and doesn't really get the chance to really express my feelings about social media Thirdly: if you are just going to respond by attacking me or by trying to start arguments, i do not care, this isn't a super serious thing i am just ranting just scroll away if you want to argue Now onto the rant? essay? idk anymore I think in trying to push for better quality movies we've started to ignore what made movies fun for us. I think that we've become so entitled for movies to be better than before, to be even bigger, to be even more profound and while i do agree we need better movies, we can't get those from just forcing people to make better movies, improvement comes with time and our consumerist way of looking at movies is worsening the problems within movies We want movies with better jokes yet we also want movies to be topical, we want movies to have serious discussions yet we don't really want them to inherently endorse one side or the other, we want movies to have better writing yet we as a society don't let companies, and the people who create movies take risks. A lot of people have also become elitists, they believe movies that are inherently "better" quality are the only movies that should be in people's most favorites for that year and discount when someone says something otherwise, and i am not just making a jump, that has happened to me from people who were "respected" in their community. I had talked about what my favorite movies were for the first half of 2023 and i had mentioned that the Super Mario movie was in that list, and someone had literally said "oh well you'll change your mind once you see ATSV and the Last Wish so this isn't really accurate" Discounting what i said because i haven't seen certain movies so what i must be saying is inaccurate, and here's the thing, i hate the shrek franchise, i don't like it so while the puss in boots movie might be better i am not going to force myself to watch something in a franchise i don't like. The way we consume media right now is one where we don't let people have differing opinions even if we don't try to be that way, if someone enjoyed a game or a show that wasn't a generally accepted "good" game or show they don't get much of a say outside of the small audience who also liked it, we hold certain media on pedastels and yet when someone tries to critique them, specifically out of good faith, we dig in our heels. If someone liked a certain movie because they didn't have to think that hard about it we discount it because did they truly enjoy it? Yet that mentality discounts people that might not have good social cues, or a good focus, maybe not even a good understanding of things in general and we discount those opinions because to truly enjoy something we HAVE to understand the message, or understand the complexities of the movie. I for one hate that idea, i hate the fact that we have created a community that says we accept all kinds of people that enjoy movies and yet we discount people for enjoying movies in a differing way, i hate that we discount some movies because they don't make the person think, or that it doesn't have a profound message or critique, We've become the group who we grew up hating, we've become those people that looked at us and told us we wouldn't be able to enjoy something because we were too young, or not the gender it was designed for, or it was too complicated for us. Sometimes all we need is a movie that we enjoy just because it was fun, sometimes we need a movie that makes us think, but there is room enough for both of them, and for every type of movie inbetween, yes lazy cash grabs exist but if someone found enjoyment out of a movie we couldn't isn't that a good thing? if someone can find an actual positive in something we couldn't shouldn't that be good?

let people enjoy movies the way they enjoy them

[pixiedeeznutz]

Moving

Moving. A strange thing. Especially when you are leaving so much, moving across the states, no family. Scary process. The best advice for if you would like to do it is, well, just do it.

You really only get one chance in life. If I am really going to take the PAS in 5 years I have to do impulsive things to try and see if life is worth living. If i just live in the same decrepit town and state with the same values I am obviously not going to want to live. This is why I am moving. To feel something.

I am about to take the first flight. A little nervous a 5 hour flight it is. Oregon to New york. Crazy. One state to another. Bordered by two different oceans. 5 hour flight. Milions of miles inbetween and not enough good memories. Hopefully I can have good memories here. Hopefully I can find a will to live. I want to be able to push through and survive. I hope the world doesn't cover that little girl with chains that stop her from running. I really don't want more trauma. I know that probably won't happen but I would like to think that it could. 30ish minutes until I can't look back, I already can't look back. I am so nervous.

The boy that is saving me from my own demise. He is sweet. I shouldn't fall for him and I should keep him as a friend but that is my fault. I love people who will help me and give me the slightest bit of attention. Yet I always inevitably push them away. I hope I don't do that with this boy. I want to always be friends with him. I want to do good for him. He needs me as much as I need him. He washes his life away with alcohol and sits at this desk all day. A mental chain he has on himself. He tells me his own purpose is to help others. That is why he is here to not have to leave this world with nothing accomplished. I respect that. I cannot do the same though. It is sad I wish I could live for other people. I can't live for other people or myself. He hides his emotions away quite a bit though. I wonder what is inside his head. Yet I always seem to get what he says, I always seem to know what is in his head without actually knowing.

I want to be able to trust him. I can't yet. I feel as though I could but not yet. He makes me happy though. Oh how he makes me swoon. His voice lights the world up for me. His laugh makes me melt down to the bone marrow I produce. He is sweet like cinnamon but I have see him be sharp enough to cut me. He is a Teddy bear yet he could also become the most destructive thing for me. I am glad he is patient though. I am glad he teaches me things. I love to learn. I hate that I forget yet he sees it. I hope his patience doesn't ware out. I am so scared for him to become another sad memory. Bittersweet would be a better word for it. Bittersweet memories with strangers I thought I knew. That is my life yet I don't want it. I want to be happy and carefree. I need to write these things in my journal. Yet I am scared for someone to look. Yet I can plaster my feelings and thoughts on a public page weird

[marissapaul]

12/23 day 8: Vodou

today i want to look at the legend of korra in thinking about the days' readings. i recently rewatched the show and i love how much we got to see of the spiritual world in it. the christian creation story was never super fascinating to me, but i love learning about other creation stories and modes of spirituality and the avatar universe is a great touchstone for that for me (i was also a rick riordan kid so you can see the common theme of my life's journey). in thinking about the show in relation to today's readings, i think that the show does a really good job of blending the spiritual and physical realms. there are times where korra loses the ability to bend the elements or can't enter the avatar state and it is because her energy is being blocked either physically or mentally but most often mentally. this is especially prevalent at the beginning of book four. we see her years long struggle with identity that results in real and tangible effects on her life. this is what i really love about the different spiritualities that we are studying in this class, tangibility and holistic healing. in many ways, book four of legend of korra is just an artistic exploration of what happens to your real world and your physical body when you do not take care of and be kind to your mind. korra is the most powerful human because of her intimate connection to the spirit world and because she can draw on the strength of the spirit world. but she is not all-powerful, and can lose that power or see it weakened. in book four we really see her have to grapple with her mentality. in book two she has to literally maintain the balance between the spirit and material worlds and she can only do that if she is in tune with each and with herself. i love the medium of animation. it allows for such beautiful explorations of real and tangible emotions and as we have seen, the avatar universe has really resonated with kids who don't always fit in growing up. (unlike james cameron's white savior avatar).

i love that vodu places an emphasis on intuition rather than rational intelligence. i have been trying to live this way for the past two years and it has led to a much happier and healthier outlook on life. i have learned to trust vibes a lot more and to listen to my body and the world around me. i eat when my body tells me i am hungry, and if my body feels unsafe around someone i honor that and set boundaries. this goes back to what i have talked about in previous posts where i am much more open to spirituality now. instead of overadjusting into science as my lens for understanding the world, i lean into what my body, mind, and the world around me are telling me. and i can only speak for myself, but this has made me vastly healthier.

i think that today's readings resonate with me because they were all borne of inbetweenness. inbetween free and enslaved. in between africa and a new world. inbetween indigineity and african tradition. inbetween indigineity/african tradition and european religious beliefs. inbetween the material and spiritual. growing up queer and autistic that inbetweenness really resonates with me. i can understand searching for a sense of belonging in a world that is cruel to you. of course not to the same level of enslaved Black and indigenous people, but i live under the same white supremacist system that seeks to homogenize and clearly demarcate. i think this is also why i have become so much happier embracing ambiguity. growing up with undiagnosed autism and being visibly queer, for so long i went in search of language to help me describe what i was feeling internally. and the language that i found was binary and incomplete. i found the term gay, but that wasn't right, i found the term trans, but that wasn't right, i found pronouns that more closely align with my gender identity, but those too weren't right. in the past two years i have come to embrace ambiguity and the understanding that terms and identifiers are never going to fully encapsulate the nuances of my lived experience. i use she/they pronouns publicly but neither of those terms fully encapsulates my gender identity. i use all sorts of gendered terms to refer to myself including some that are traditionally male. i heavily relate to stone butch lesbians, but not holistically because i love wearing dresses presenting more femme at times. these are all partial pieces of a puzzle that make up my entire being and so i have stopped searching for the exact right term to describe myself, and have instead started gathering an archive of words and media and art that help me outwardly present my inner self. and that is what i love about these creole religions. they lean into that ambiguity and are not only open to change, but welcome it. and thus learning about them has provided me with more of those puzzle pieces and terms through which i much understand and express my inner self.

i was happy to see us talk more about spiritual healing again today. the readings today laid things out very clearly, explaining that there has been a rise in non-traditional healing as a result of rising medical costs and an inability for modern medicine to heal in the way that these spiritualities are - especially in terms of psychiatric healing. more people are going in search of this holistic and tangible healing. i am writing from the positionality of someone who is able-bodied so my experience is of course heavily influenced by that, but having the resources to genuinely and lovingly take care of my mind has also made taking care of my physical body much easier. i do not find myself paralyzed for weeks by anxiety, literally unable to leave my bed anymore and that physical benefit to my life was only made possible through the immense mental and spiritual work that i have done. i can wake up and brush my teeth and shower regularly and work out without doing so in pursuit of some insane and unattainable body type, i can eat freely and whenever i am hungry. these worlds are so intimately intertwined and i think that that is exactly what makes these spiritual belief systems so powerful.

i also really loved how the readings speak to shortcomings of the contemporary church and how vodu and vodou tangibly address those shortcomings. these spiritualities are "continually evolving in response to the socio-economic milieu and the psychosocial needs of its practitioners" (p. 87 in Vodu of the Dominican Republic) evangelical christianity remains wedded to the myth of the american dream and to capitalism. and thus it can't really address the material woes of a hurting congregation because they do not believe in a fundamental reorganization of society so that it might benefit all humans rather than like fifteen absurdly wealthy men.

i watched this documentary over the summer and found myself deeply hurt about my upbringing in the church in new ways. the documentary is focused on hillsong which is much more a corporation than a church. and it is hillsong who produced all that catchy contemporary christian music at the turn of the millenia. but they did so in pursuit of building an economic empire. hillsong recognized in the late 90s that people were growing disillusioned with the church (for all of the reasons laid out above) and so the church did shift. but it didn't shift to building itself out so that it might provide a place of tangible relief and healing for its congregation, it shifted to building a media empire built on trendy, secular-adjacent music in order to actively abuse its congregation who came in search of meaning and left with lighter wallets. i think that is evil.

we're now solidly into the course and i love how much the readings build on each other each day. i find myself coming back to the same topics but in new ways, with new language to describe my thoughts. i want to return now to the power of drumming. and i actually want to talk about mumble rap. i am a part of that weird generation of people from the late 90s that don't fully relate to millenials or gen z, but have borne witness to both. thus, i grew up inbetween the eras of lyrical and mumble rap (though this is a vast oversimplification of rap history) so i know people on both sides of the cultural/generational divide. the tired argument goes that mumble rap is not as legitimate as lyrical rap or that mumble rap doesn't take talent and that it's basically just a hard beat and a bunch of gibberish. that is of course, not all it is, but even if it was, is that bad? i say no. mumble rappers grew up on lyrical rap and draw inspiration from it and move the culture forward. but even if mumble rap is just a phenomenal beat, is that not music enough? is that not spiritual enough? in the context of this class i would posit that an incredible beat is absolutely enough to constitute a great song. i frequently listen to music in other languages that i don't understand, but vibes transcend languages. the vibrations of love far transcends even my ability to capture it in the english language. sometimes sounds and instrumentals are even the best way to transmit a vibe or certain energy.

i feel that way about mah's joint by jon bellion. in the documentary where he talks about what it was like to make this album, jon talks about how he didn't have the words to say all that he wanted to say on the topic of his grandmother's dementia so he just sung without words. the song is eight minutes long and the vast majority of it is instrumental and wordless singing and yet the song is so powerful. the back half of the song is just a sonic meditation on dementia and that's all it needed to be. i'll post the documentary below.

my last very brief thought that hasn't fully developed yet is that the zombie apocalypse media trend of the early 2010s could have been so much more powerful/meaningful if they had leaned into their actual roots.

[aldakat31415]

Hunter x reader pt. 2

Hunter and you spent the whole night under the tree, but now with belos' guards after you, the two of you have to keep moving.

Warnings: abuse, physical, psychological. Religious trauma.

People who give Hunter sparkles are my gods.

Hunter woke to find you laying on his chest, your head nestled inbetween his shoulder. You were peaceful, he felt a bit guilty remembering the morning before. Even after the fight, where the two of you had been screaming at each other, you still cared enough to come find him. What did he do to deserve you?

He felt his face warm slightly at the sight of your sleeping figure, he felt a bit creepy staring.. but you were just so, breathtaking. He hadn't seen you so peaceful in years, always being stressed about one thing or another. It was nice to see that you were not so upset when you were asleep.

Outside the rain had barely stopped, pitter patters of droplets hitting the dirt and forming mud pools around the tree. The water was still hissing with heat, but Hunter knew that the two of you didn't have much choice. If you didn't leave now, belos would find you, and everything would be much worse.

He tried to rouse you from your sleep gently, feeling a little guilty to wake you, but being far too worried about your safety to feel that way for long. Pulling you up, the two of you stepped outside, where you made your way out of the forest.

As the two of you walked, you remembered everything that had gone on the night before. A soft blush covering your cheeks as you realized you had slept next to Hunter the whole night, and that he had confided in you what you assumed to be something monumentally terrifying to him.

He didn't show many signs of stress at the moment, as he had done the night before, but you could see the cold look in his gaze. Grabbing onto his hand and squeezing it gently to try and reassure him, despite his hands shaking from fear and stress you seemed to calm him down enough.

"Hunter.. do you wanna talk about what happened last night?" You asked, looking up at him.

He looked behind him, sighing and bringing you closer to him as you walked. "Not.. really.. I'd rather us not get captured by Belos."

You nodded. "You don't seem to be doing all that well though.. do you think you could talk and walk?"

He shook his head. "No.. I'm sorry Y/n.. but there's too much in that for me to think clearly. I would slow us down, and I can't have you getting hurt because of me.."

You nodded, looking down and feeling the blood rush to your cheeks again. "Yeah.. I don't want you to get hurt either, let's focus on getting away from here."

The two of you moved in silence for a while, glancing at each other now and them, and never losing each other's grasp. It was nice, even if it was also terrifying trying not to die. After a bit the two of you came to a stopping point, and Hunter ran a hand through his hair, sighing in aggravation.

"I don't really have a plan of where to go.." he admitted, looking down. You placed a hand on his shoulder.

"That's fine Hunter. Let's figure it out together. " you replied, smiling softly. "Do you think we may be able to find some place that'll take us in without reporting us to Belos?"

He sighed. "Not at the moment, I would say maybe the weird girl and the owl lady.. but currently uncl-..Belos... is after them as well."

Your eyes saddened for a moment, before opening wide in a realization. "What about Darius?!"

"....he works for Belos."

"But he does stuff like this all the time.. disobeying orders and stuff. Don't you think he may care enough to not give us up to Belos!"

"And if he doesn't?! That's a risky move Y/n." Hunter replied, forcing emphasis in his tone as he looked down at you.

"Where else do we have to go though? It's worth a shot even if its a small chance. It's either that or hope we can survive on our own. And no offense but I doubt we'd be able to hide if even the owl lady can't hide." You said, trying to persuade him.

He sat his face in his palm, thinking for a moment. "This is practically a suicide mission, but you may be right.." he replied, looking down at you. So the two of you made you way back to the palace, hoping that you could stay alive just long enough to make Darius hear you out.

[astriiformes]

uhhh your uhh last post kinda hit bc I’m someone who used to ID as aro (I only ID as ace now), but I have a crush on my best friend who I spend multiple hours with every day. sometimes even 12 hours with them in a row. and next year we’re going to live together with two other friends. they’re aro and I would indeed appreciate a qpp… but I’m so scared telling them about my romantic feelings might make them uncomfortable, because for me romantic feelings are the same level of obsession I feel for tv shows and such. I like the idea of being partners in whatever way that could mean for them and I’d never ever wanna do something to make them uncomfortable… would you happen to have any advice for this… if not that’s quite alright

So I can only offer so much advice because everyone is different, but I would definitely recommend talking to them about your feelings! If you genuinely would be interested in a queerplatonic relationship with them instead of a romantic one, even with how you feel about them, that's completely fair and appropriate to share with someone.

The two things I would recommend emphasizing are:

1) That you really do mean that what's important to you is the idea of being partners in whatever way that means to them. I think that's a very nice way of putting it and centers their feelings as an important part of your query

and 2) That even if they don't want a queerplatonic relationship, you sharing this is mostly to be honest and find out their thoughts, and you still want to remain friends with them no matter the answer. It's entirely possible that, even if you do everything "right" and they see you as a very dear friend, they just might not be interested in a qp relationship (same as any kind of relationship). Or they might want to approach it differently. I know that I personally am in a committed friendship/relationship I tend not to always refer to as queerplatonic because I am also extremely romance-repulsed and find I often don't like being called a "partner" in any sense -- but even then, practically, it still looks like living with a friend in a committed situation we intend to continue for the rest of our lives

I can't predict how your friend will feel about all this, but conceptually at least, queerplatonic relationships are absolutely not just for aromantic people, and in fact are a great route to explore when two people with some kind of "mismatch" in orientation are still interested in committing to each other in important ways. Even if your friend wants something different, so long as you assure them this doesn't have to change things between you if they don't want it to and that you are genuinely interested in sharing whatever kind of relationship they would be comfortable for them (a friendship, a queerplatonic relationship, or something more complicated), asking to find out how they feel about the idea is still okay.

And it might make them a little uncomfortable! It might be kind of awkward! These things can be messy without anyone doing anything wrong. But it sounds like they are very important to you, and you care about them and your friendship in ways that can be preserved with careful and committed communication about what your friend is comfortable with. So long as you center that, that's the core of any good relationship.

I hope that helps some? Again, obviously I cannot speak for all aromantic people -- or for your friend specifically -- but these are at least my own thoughts as an aro person and ones that I find ring true in relationships of all kinds. People are complicated! Relationships are complicated! There are so many weird ins and outs and inbetweens to them, and the platonic/romantic binary that society tries so hard to enforce is impractical and inauthentic to many people's experiences. If you keep in mind that, and the fact that you love your friend no matter what, I bet you can navigate this.

[spirallabyrinthpodcast]

hi bry and Jules. Idk about you both, but this sobh I've been feeling bad for ty and kit ofcourse. But i want to know more about how livvy is doing. She's all alone. And she has noone to confide in really. She can't confide in Ty, since then she'd have to hurt him .hear me out, this is a classic twin thing. I don't think livvy would want ty to believe that he did something so fundamentally wrong, not only for the world but for her. I bet she has her happy ghost moments. But she seems so utterly sad. And i think she doesn't want to tell Ty, because she doesn't want him to look at something which gives him so much joy (livvy being with him) to be something which hurts her continuously. It will shatter him, because she's bound to him so there is no way in which he can undo it (that we know of). She can't talk to Julian, or any of the older siblings. And you can see that her Thule!livvy instincts are kicking in, by which she's protecting Ty, by not telling him. And she's protecting Dru too. She doesn't have anyone to confide in. It was so bad in gotsm. I can't imagine it getting any better now, that it's been a year? im a twin, and i think I've posted about this before, but living only for my twin, is something i cannot even imagine. We all know that Livvy would do anything for ty, but i can't imagine how much of a tole it's taking on her to do everything for her brother, not talk to the other siblings etc. And so often, even when she can be there for Ty, she can't do anything to help him. It's such a helpless situation to be in. Even when livvy was cracking the jokes about "being inbetween the living world and the void" and "I'm teaching Irene how to play dead", it didn't seem sarcastic to me. It just seemed sad. Maybe I'm projecting onto her some sad state, and maybe she is truly cracking jokes and "getting back to her old self" but idk why i can't see it. What do you guys think of her situation right now?

Hi Vash!! 🤗

Getting a twin's perspective on this is just what we needed--thank you for offering it <3 You may be projecting onto her sad state but I honestly don't think it's incorrect, and you summed it up really well.

It's never good to live for just one person as it is, but for Livvy to be forced to do that, and for that one person to be someone who she was already inseparable from, both from the perspective of her own heart and of anyone outside of their duo.. I can't imagine the toll that would take on her. The emotional dependability would grow without her even wanting it to, or perhaps in a way that she may be unaware of as its happening, on top of the already physical and existential ways she relies on Ty. We see it in the way she writes this letter (or dictates it or thinks it or whatever lol), that she's putting Ty's thoughts and emotions ahead, or in place, of her own in a way that seems unhealthy and would probably be interpreted as such even more if she happened to still have a beating heart.

Honestly, I could barely dig myself out of the Livvy trenches on Monday because of just how overwhelmingly sad it all was. I think a lot of it comes from how almost resigned she seems to it. In gotsm she seemed more at odds with her state of being, with having to be tied down by Ty's actions and motivations, but given the danger that brought, and the natural tendency toward codependence when another person is all you have.. it makes sense that she would just start letting herself take on this role of his shadow, his comfort, and his emotional mirror.

Of course, there is more to Livvy's story right now that we can't see, and it's possible that she isn't as resigned as she comes off in this letter, but I don't think the weight of melancholy that dragged us to the ground after this week's installment should be dismissed. I, for one, certainly didn't see much of Livvy "returning to her old self"

Jules ♡