#i cannot get over this shit. i want to block the dude but the problem is i can hardly comprehend these people can and do exist. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stonebutchery · 3 months

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alright, i am not fucking reading all of that.

i literally have said that exclusionism from individual random other queer people who happen to be transfeminine is still exclusionism and still sucks. but the disproportionate punishment and persecution of transfems for doing this is what i’m fucking talking about and taking issue with. i have never seen more vitriol in my life aimed at transfems than i do now, for shit that they also happen to suffer from as victims of the most extreme exclusionism, from not only other queer and trans people but society as a whole.

transfems have zero structural power over transmisogyny-exempt folks, i am asking us to show them some damn patience and grace when they make mistakes, it is the absolute very least we can do in the interest of collective liberation. a handful of individual transfems making bad-faith exclusionist statements still does not equate to transfems being an oppressor class on any level, and i am sick of seeing people trying to generalize transfems as some kind of nasty-bad group of trans people who are “transandrophobic” and “transmisandrist” when androphobia and misandry are literal fabrications, they do not exist in nature, they are not real. as concepts, they are predicated on a complete fucking distortion of reality.

i do not genuinely expect an apology from past exclusionists i described in this post, i know we’ll probably only ever see a handful of them apologize for the damage they did by being exclusionists. i expect better behavior and inclusivity and greater solidarity from them going forward.

at the same time, we do not get to revoke our solidarity for other queer people over this; the hypothetical trans woman who made a panphobic joke on tumblr.com, regardless of any pain it may have caused (yes, including genuine, traumatic harm) still fucking deserves mutual aid to get some groceries and fill her car’s tank with gas so she can survive in this transmisogynistic hellscape of a world that is constantly trying to see her dead. i beg of everyone, do not “all lives matter” this issue. collective liberation means collective liberation. it means: i want this queer liberation for all queers, because we don’t have rights and protections until all of us have rights and protections.

however, i do have a problem with people excusing transmisogyny as acceptable exclusionism but drawing the line at lateral aggression against transmisogyny-exempt queers, including trying to ‘hold transfems accountable’ for it. it’s a frightening and explicitly transmisogynistic double standard that i find utterly absurd, yet i have observed it happening far more often than i have even seen other tme trans dudes claiming that something happening to them was “transandrophobia.”

your struggle is my struggle, even if you have done wrong in the past or participated in exclusionism, UNLESS that exclusionism has explicitly punched down at transfems for being transfems (transmisogyny). this caveat is not a case of lateral aggression. it is, instead, OPPRESSIVE.

so, no, a trans woman being mean to you online does not bestow someone with permission to scapegoat transfems for exclusionism, and it certainly does not grant anyone the ability to concoct a fake structural oppression for which they claim all transfems are capable or guilty of committing.

i’m a transmisogyny-exempt trans dude. if this hypothetical transfem starts bullying or harassing me online, even when it’s specifically for being a trans dude, she’s still not capable of oppressing me. that’s why the term ‘lateral aggression’ exists (even still, transfems face more than just lateral aggression—transmisogyny-exempt people being transmisogynists oppresses and harms them, the same cannot be said about the lateral aggression we observe between two transmisogyny-exempt queer people). the result, in this hypothetical scenario, is that i block her and i move on, or i ignore her. i don’t, then, leave this scenario with the idea that transfems are capable of oppressing me. that’s not how the world works. that’s not reality. you can make up all the words you want, it still won’t make “transmisandry” or “transandrophobia” a real phenomenon.

and it’s actually very fucking easy not to become a terminally ignorant transmisogynist reactionary who generalizes all transfems as intracommunity aggressors and oppressors.

#i’m putting a moratorium on that fucking post.

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safe-ship · 1 year

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Heads up about the safeship creator everyone, they refuse to provide accessibility to screen readers despite being asked to multiple times & is generally ableist. Below are some screenshots + a transcript of a really long paragraph rant went on.

Context: An anon asked her to stop using ! and 0s to censor proship related things. This was her response:

Context: The same anon sends another ask that the OP screenshotted. (I cannot find the post as it seems she either deleted it or Tumblr's search feature is funky)

Their response is copied + pasted below. Content warning for NSFW mentions, sexual harassment (of the anon), and guilt tripping.

Listen dude i do know better you fucking insufferable misinformed prick. I myself need readability accessibility with ny fucking aphasia that is only getting worse. I already know firsthand how little people give a shit about this stuff becuz i need it. I already have difficulty writing legibly okay. And i get a lot of shit over this disability that i dont deserve. I made this fucking tag to help others to the point that i dont even block the few people weve had problems with so that even if i have to sed it at least the tag will work well for others. So if i have to put a 0 and ! In the forbidden word to decrease how much extra stress is gonna be on me from putting it straight up on their dinner plates then im fucking going to. Why dont you get off your high horse and grow the fuck up and stop making fucking assumptions. Cause im doing a hell of a lot more of kindness and effort for accessibility than you are for saying its immoral for someone WHO NEEDS screendreaders and is ashamed about it to choose a fucking single exclammation point over getting the regular bullshit i put up with from people who wanna be pedos x100 so that you can feel good abt yourself becuz u would choose the latter. Whether ur also a screenreader needer or not what you are is a fuvking asshole becuz i literally have two spine surgeries voming up with a huge threat of bevoming a paraplegic or dead before then and i have a shortened lifespan from all my disabilities. I come into this community to cope with how shit my life is and i try to make it better for others no matter if its a little harder on me and i get nothin but disrespect from invasive and presumptuous assholes like u behind anon who dont wanna have a real vonversation with me or actually think abt anyone but yourself and how good it feels to stroke ur moral dick over the dying woman and i have had it up to here!

U guys wanna keep coming in my inbox being assholes to me? No nuance in life im a bitch? So little thanks nothing but pussies on anon talking shit or invading my privacy? Maybe someone the fuck else should try and run this ship then becuz im fed the hell up and abt to deactivate.

And even despite being told twice to provide accessibility, they continues to be inaccessible even excluding shipcourse.

And in regards to more of their ableism, they told someone to "develop a frontal lobe" which is harmful towards those with intellectual disabilities. For context: calicofemme was their old main.

Anyway, do what you will with this information. If anyone wants to add more things to this regarding her behavior, go ahead & I'll reblog it. I made this post to raise awareness of how the creator is harmful and shouldn't even be in this community because of how they go entirely against their motive for making it.

#safeship #safeshipping #self ship #self shipping #negativity

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lover-of-mine · 5 months

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this is like the start to some very good mutual pining fics. why cant you date him???

ASKAOSKOAKS yk, I was thinking that if my life was a tv show the team slowburn angsty friends to lovers is having a great week because of recent developments. But basically, we met almost exactly 12 years ago, we bonded because I had a crush on his best friend at the time, he had a crush on my best friend at the time and they didn't want to date us lol and then we just stuck around. But we kinda cursed ourselves by bonding over wanting other people because there are always other people involved, he's currently in a very messy on/off relationship and they are taking some space to figure shit out, and he lives in a different city, but I live in the same city as his mom, he came to see her, we ended up spending about 10 hours together, things were said, questions were asked, feelings might've been uncovered, because I never truly thought about the possibility of me having feelings for him before Saturday, like I think he's hot, but I never thought beyond the vague awareness that I think he is attractive lol, like seriously, if you asked me last week I would've confidently said it's not like that between us, someone literally asked me on Saturday if I was his gf and I just laughed, but he went back to his city, we see each other once every 2 years at this point, I don't know how he's feeling, so like, I'm not sabotaging our friendship because I'm confused because we kissed at 5 am after a night out lol but realistically, we both had issues with long-distance relationships in the past and that's not something either one of us would be willing to get into even if without the other complications, so I can't date him logistically even if this was a thing that we multually want, which I'm honestly not sure, because I'm pretty sure he's gonna get back together with his ex, so I'm in pretend it never happened mode, repression at it's finest. But things to add to the fanfic plots: all of his exes are me in different fonts, even he can admit that, every time I break up with someone he says and I quote "you need to find someone who sees you like I do", we can't go anywhere together without someone assuming we are a couple and this has been happening the whole time we've known each other, I'm pretty sure his mom and sisters have a bet going on whether we end up together or not because of the way they react to us hanging out, we will constantly spend so long talking about absolutely nothing it was a real problem when we were teenagers because we lived like, 2 blocks away from each other, so we would walk back towards home, sit in this bench that's in the midway from my house and his and then suddenly both our parents were calling because we missed curfew by an hour but we've been sitting somewhere we can see both our houses for like, 3, like that guy cannot get me to shut up lol, we have a pact to get married in 2029 if we fail to find love until then, but we also promised to be each other best woman/man of honor, he's not big on physical touch, he doesn't like people in his space, but I'm a physical touch person, and he always lets me play with his fingers when I'm stressed and that's legit the nicest thing someone constantly does for me because sometimes I don't even notice and the dude is giving me his hand, I have a tendency to surround myself with things his favorite color when I miss him, if I'm around he constantly just looks at me to fact check whatever story he's telling because he thinks I remember more stuff about his life than he does, and I'm typing this out and thinking about the past 12 years for the past week and I'm sitting here like "for the love of god am I in a fucking 500k words slowburn friends to lover fic" I don't know, it's very complicated but here I am. I don't know if you ever watched Love, Rosie, but I feel like what I imagine Rosie felt finding the letter and calling Alex just to find out he's engaged aoskaokaoskaksasss

#i love that movie so much the universe said say less i guess aoskaoskasaoksasoaksa #god help me #i will continue to ignore it #imma be honest i cant afford to be in love with him right now #so repression #ignoring the problem #maybe it will go away #maybe it will come back to bite me in the ass #stay tuned #we might find out in 2029 #i really need a tag for asks #anon 😌#anna talks bff slowburn

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t-lostinworlds · 2 years

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no, your likes aren't public, but i saw that you did like it when i was going to block everyone who interacted with that rude post and i was just shocked that you, someone i genuinely respected, did. you can rail against me being a 'bad' friend all you want, but i don't get why you can't see how that MIGHT be a little upsetting especially when you've made friendships over this fandom?

you can say the post wasn't that serious all you want, but genuinely, this about the same person who just a few months ago said that he was dealing with anxiety over seeing the mean crap people say about him online, and that WAS mean crap. there's just SO many better ways to express that you want him to work rather than calling him 'fucking pathetic'. like that is just wild to me and two faced as hell when no one here had any problem with him taking some time off when he was recently at home.

it just truly sucks that so few of the people i'm friends with here have the maturity to realize that it's just simply not a big deal if he's in a relationship. of all the things for yall to be mad at him over, THAT really takes the cake. anyways, i absolutely stand by what i said. aiming that amount of vitriol to a dude who has done NOTHING wrong is making this fandom just miserable and i truly cannot believe it happens over and over again every time he's seen with her. it's toxic and i'm just so frustrated you can't see that.

honestly, how will i even know who you are when you're sending me asks ON ANON. bro, my dms are open to EVERYONE. literally anyone can send me a message whether i follow them or not. i have that open so people can reach out to me any time they want whoever they might be but you choose to send me this as an ask over ANON. do you know what message that sends me? you want this public. you won't say this shit to my face bc then it's just you and me having a conversation. but you want to let all the people know how much of a 'horrible person' i am so then you can have more anons to back you up. bc power in numbers right? until someone is driven off this site? what kind of friend does that make you?

and all because i liked a post. it's actually funny how you got all of those claims from me liking ONE SINGLE POST. you're accusing me of attacking tom, of berating his whole entire being, of disregarding his mental health when all i did was like a post that said they missed the days when tom was seen as an individual. and i honestly don't see where your problem with that is. why is it such a crime for people to want to support his craft and his craft alone? and fine, the language was a bit offhanded but i've literally seen people call him WORSE THINGS on actual sites he can SEE. hell i saw another post in the tags that spoke meaner things about him which i don't even agree with. but me liking a post that deadass wasn't so fucking deep and was literally one single sentence compared to a whole article is suddenly a testament to my whole being and how awful i am? why are you acting like i've made such a disgusting take when I DIDN'T EVEN MAKE THE DAMN POST. it's such a crime to fucking like things without it having a deeper meaning nowadays huh?

i honestly really want you to show me all the times i made a big deal out of this relationship. or me being mad over it bc it honestly feels like you're just dumping this all on me just to get your frustration towards other people out. bc by this point, you're just putting words in my mouth. is it bc i'm not reblogging stalkerish photos of them? is it bc i have said NOTHING about it instead cooing and awwing at every picture? is that why you immediately came to a conclusion that i have such a problem with him being in a relationship bc i am not waving a big banner that they look so darn cute together?

and you know what, i wasn't going to add this but fuck it. i'm pissed now. it's so fucking rich of you to keep talking about his mental health and how i'm causing so much damage to it when i have said nothing bad about this guy in my own posts or made my own takes on a site he has no idea exists when you're not even stopping to think about what you are doing to my mental health by coming to my own safe space guns blazing accusing me of shit i didn't even do. a bit hypocritical if you ask me. or maybe i just need to be rich and famous for you to actually care about that too.

#i'm too tired for this bullshit #raddishorse

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thought-42 · 2 years

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Gym Buddies

Critical Role, 1500 words, Laerryn, Evandrin, now with formatting So this afternoon @stoppit-keepout and I were talking and: Thought: So how do we think Laerryn and Evandrin met each other? SK: at. the. gym. And naturally I had to write it. Laerryn's deep in her 'not like other wizards' phase -- which mostly involves talking shit about the people peer reviewing her journal articles, wearing jewelry made out of wires and broken gears, and flexing in sleeveless shirts in the vicinity of Patia Por'co whenever the opportunity presents itself – when she meets Evandrin. Laerryn's peers at the university don't understand her drive and her passion. They're still children, concerned with test scores and social drama and other things Laerryn has never cared about. But Patia understands her. They're on the same wavelength. Patia, too, wants to push the boundaries of what is possible, appreciates the dangers of a mind imprisoned by social and political barriers. She also has a lot of furniture she needs moved across her palatial fucking mansion, which Laerryn is more than happy to help with.

She's determined to get into Patia's library and Patia's bed, in that order, which means she blows off her lectures to write scathing rebuttals to whatever papers Patia has been critical of in private, and spends her early mornings at the gym. She hasn't exercised more than frantic pacing, running from class to class, or inadvisable bar fights since she dropped out of 'punching-through-walls school upon claiming adulthood-- she is fully confident that Avalir needs an unparalleled arcane engineer far more than it needs yet another mediocre knight. This does mean that, while her form is excellent her actual strength is... not as ideal as it could be for hauling antique armoires across limestone floors in the robes she cut the sleeves off of.

So. The gym. It's actually kind of helpful to get some of her excess energy out, and she can still work on projects in her head. She's pretty sure she's getting stronger, too.

...as are the eighty other fucking people who think 6:00 AM is a great time to work out.

That's a problem. Her schedule is literally packed, between classes (attending and teaching), work (for grades and for money), and Patia, along with the various sundry meetings and events she's apparently expected to attend to boost her social reputation or network or make the university look good or what the fuck ever, she stopped listening. She's pretty sure 90% of the other people who crowd the gym in her preciously carved out block of time could fit it in in some other part of their day.

All this to say, when she starts to notice one dude who manages to create a thirty foot zone of empty mats and unused equipment around him whenever he shows up, she doesn't hesitate to take advantage. The other asshole bros who have mostly been ignoring her or offering to help with her (impeccable) form now stare at her like she's just punched a baby, but they don't come any closer, so honestly who's really winning here?

The dude doesn't seem to care. He smiles big and wide and unsettlingly shiny at her every time she shows up, but otherwise doesn't try to interact in any way. This is probably what friendship is.

This goes on for a good two months, until one night over expensive takeout Patia says "I know it's awful, but the value of some well-placed small talk cannot be overstated."

Which is about as blatant as Patia ever gets with her advice, so Laerryn writes down 'get better at talking about nothing' in bright red on her bathroom mirror so she'll remember every morning.

The next time she and her gym friend are working out in the same place she waits until they've both paused to drink water and walks over to him.

"Everybody else avoids you," she says. "Are you a known serial killer or somebody important's easily-offended nephew?"

He blinks slowly at her, and lifts a hand to brush his sweaty hair out of his eyes. "Well," he says, slowly. "If those are the only two options, I suppose I'm the former."

"Ok," she says, and, very proud of herself, goes back to her workout.

She's planning how she's going to tell Patia about her successful foray into implementing her wisdom when, instead of heading towards the door once he's finished his workout, her serial killer friend comes over to where she's paused to scribble down an equation on her arm. He stands politely until she's done, which just reinforces her confidence that they are definitely friends.

"So I feel like I should clarify," he says, "I have fought in a number of battles, so I guess I've killed many ...things. But I've thought about it and that definitely feels different than a serial killer. Not to be pedantic, but I wouldn't want to tarnish my image, you know?"

"Were the things people?"

"Some of them. They don't like it when we say that."

"I'm still leaning towards serial killer, then," she says. "Do a lot of people care about your image?"

He does the slow blink thing again. "In general... yes. I suppose they do."

"Huh," she says. "You should get out of that, it sounds stressful."

"I don't mind it, honestly. Comes with the territory. You have no idea who I am, do you?"

"Nor do I care," she says. "It's not like you know who I am. this is friendship, I'm pretty sure."

He laughs like it's startled out of him. His teeth are just. So shiny. He holds out a hand. "I'm Evandrin Alterra." She doesn't take his gross sweaty hand because she's not a fucking animal. "First Knight of Avalir."

He drops his hand after a long few seconds. "Oh," she says. "Did the Orc one finally bite it?"

He opens his mouth, then shuts it. "Lady gold Tusk? ...Yes. A few years ago, actually. The city was in mourning."

"I was busy," she says, because it has been her perpetual state of being in the decades since she left her parents' house.

And then, because Patia says it's very important to be honest with your friends when it's convenient, she says "Also I have a moderately irrational but otherwise justified disdain for Avalir's knights in general, so I try not to know anything about them ever."

"My apologies for breaking your streak, in that case," he says. "May I ask why? It's truly one of the most honourable institutions within the city."

"Two decades, my collarbone, and my respect for most of the trainers disagree," she says. "I electrocuted Master Bilsley once, that was ok I guess."

"The name isn't familiar," he says. "So ...congratulations?"

"Nice," she says. "Are we done now? This is a lot of small talk."

"I didn't catch your name," he says. Another flash of those teeth. They're perfectly straight, too.

"Laerryn," she says. "Coramar. Abjurist."

"A pleasure," he says. "Well, I regret to inform you that, given we're friends, a limited amount of small talk will probably happen every time we're here together now. You ought to prepare yourself accordingly."

"I should have never let you know we were friends," she says, darkly.

"I can prepare a list of conversation starters, if that helps," he says. "My parents used to have a whole box of them for uncomfortable dinner parties."

"Great," she says, relieved. "Can you let me know the night before so I can prepare?"

"For that I would need your address in order to send a messenger." He mimes writing on his own arm, raising an eyebrow.

"How about our first fucking topic is how you took six hours off from punching shit to learn Sending," she says, flatly.

His jaw actually hangs open for a couple seconds. Laerryn is already mourning this friendship. He's gonna have to find another gym, too, which is probably going to be a challenge for him, being so popular and all.

"I've never learned a single spell in my life," he says, finally.

She sighs. "You're what, like forty? Great time to start."

"I'm twenty-four, thank you," he says.

"An actual child," she says. "Yeah, yeah, I know, biology, but still. That’s fucking wild."

The sending stone on his belt crackles to life suddenly, and the smile drops from his face. He snatches it up, turning away. "This is Evandrin."

Laerryn decides she's done with her workout.

Four days later, she's attacking a student essay with her most aggressively red pen when a voice slides unobtrusively into her head. "Good evening, Laerryn! I just wanted to let you know our topic for tomorrow morning is: If you could only attend one networking function for the rest of your life, would you choose breakfasts or happy hours?"

"I'm canceling my subscription to this friendship," she sends back immediately.

"Sorry! I'm afraid you've signed up for the lifetime subscription. I'd be happy to direct you to one of our customer service reps if you have any concerns."

"I'm making a list," she says. "It'll be alphabetical. See you in the morning."

#critical role #Laerryn Coramar Seelie #Evandrin Alterra #cr exu tag #tumblrfic tag #if you saw this earlier no you didn't

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gojous-exbabymama · 3 years

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That’s My Baby Daddy~

pretty much Gojou being a menace and you having to deal with his annoying ass😭

warning// language, +18, mdni, mention of smut, mention of daddy kink, breeding kink, kinda toxic!gojou, gojou saturo x fem!reader, got inspired by @hanji-is-life talking about this man i couldn’t help myself lol

——————————————————————————————////

🧿 a sneak link turned baby daddy

🧿 honestly, this is what happens when mix a daddy kink with a breeding kink

🧿 you weren’t even going to tell him because he pops up every two-three months

🧿 whenever he feels like it😒

🧿 but when you do tell him, he becomes even more cocky?¿

🧿 and if you were on the pill and still got knocked up

🧿 his god-complex would fly through the roof omg:

🧿 “im just that strong, baby”

🧿 will say you were trying to trap him but it’s clearly the other way around

🧿 literally wanted to wife you up but you said no because he was still a fuckboy and you didn’t have time to deal with his shit 24/7

🧿 the fact that you didn’t really need him around actually makes him want you even more

🧿 makes up for missing appointments or classes with lavish gifts and anything your cravings desire

🧿 you hate him because he shows up when your hormones are going crazy and all you want to do fuck

🧿 here his ass comes, all too happy to help take care of that

🧿 tried to convince you to move in with him but you shut that down quickly

🧿 so he just buys you a house that’s less than 5 minutes from his☺️

🧿 will show up late for the baby’s birth and annoy the whole staff like:

🧿 “no sir you cannot order room service during delivery” “pls stop touching the buttons on the bed sir!”

🧿 spoils the baby like crazy

🧿 you scold him whenever he comes back with a new pair of shoes because:

🧿 “gojou, he’s just going to grow out of them in like, a month”

🧿 “yeah but look at how cute they are!”

🧿 can’t get rid of him, you went to your moms place and he’s just sitting at the table, eating a slice of pie with that smirk

🧿 sorry to say sis but your days of dating are over

🧿 you’ve made it clear numerous of times that yes, you two have a baby together but that does not mean you two are together as a couple

🧿 and does he listen?

🧿 no! he doesn’t!

🧿 if he catch wind of your fine ass out on date with some weak dude

🧿 he’s going to blow up your phone

🧿 and if you block him for the night, he will show up and ruin the date

🧿 he’s made it very clear that your his stop playing with him

🧿 you say you’re done with him sis but why is he in your kitchen the next morning in your robe drinking your coffee, eating all the baby’s cereal??

🧿 you cursing him out and yelling at him every other day

🧿 and him just being like: “mmhm..mhm..yeah no I’m not paying attention, you’re too sexy when your mad🥴😜”

🧿 fights always turn into hate fucking he’s just too pretty and too smooth with it, you can’t stay mad at him for too long:

🧿 “I hate you, Gojou. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you”

🧿 “f-fuck gojou iloveyou,iloveyou,iloveyou!!” you chant as he fucks you into the mattress

🧿 “yeah ya’ do sweetheart so much you’re gonna let daddy fuck another baby in you, right mamas?”

🧿 he was serious too

🧿 congrats sis, he got you again😔🤟🏾

🧿 you being pissed but he’s just like:

🧿 “you begged me put another one in you babe, so I did what’s the problem?”

🧿 i mean, you technically did say that but it was more so for dirty talk!

🧿 and this motherfucka took it serious

🧿 he knew what he was doing though smh

🧿 slides his way into living with you and the kids

🧿 family vacations are a thing

🧿 he will take y’all all over the world if you asked

🧿 his family gets the best of the best with everything it’s really hard for him to say no to his kids

🧿 he’s gone a lot throughout the year and misses a few of their after school things

🧿 but somehow you’re the mean parent for telling your kids ‘no’ to eating candy before bed?¿?

🧿 “no, our son doesn’t need another iPad.”

🧿 “no, our daughter does not need a puppy she barely kept her six goldfish alive..”

🧿 “gojou, the baby is literally 3 months old, you’re not signing them up for horse riding lessons!!”

🧿 watch him or else he’ll turn your kids into silver tooth terrors!

🧿 by baby number 4 he just stops asking you to marry him because he definitely knows you’re not going anywhere

🧿 you’re stuck with him for life so might as well just stay with his ass because he’s not going anywhere either

🧿good luck😭🧿

#saturo gojou #gojou satoru #gojou satoru x reader #gojou smut #gojou sensei #gojo saturo x reader #gojo headcanons #gojou saturo x black reader #gojo saturo x black reader #I had fun writing this

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59writes · 3 years

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SEVENTEEN- SCENARIO: HAVING AN ALT PARTNER (PERFORMANCE UNIT)

VOCAL • HIP HOP • PERFORMANCE

Last but most definitely not least, the boys with the moves 🙌🙌

again! don’t be shy, feel free to reach out or request!! I’d love to have some anon buddies lol. I promise I’m nice haha!!

also hi Jun’s is about kandi I had to self indulge a little lol (which is why it’s so long omg) I make kandi and it’s literally the best pastime and the culture around it is super cool too so I had to add it in haha!!

🌈🌈🌈!!!PLUR!!! 🌈🌈🌈

tw: food maybe (?)

JUN

• you guys met on complete accident

• he was walking to the company, you on your way home

• and he bumps into you and one of your bracelets hooks onto his bag and it snaps

• you’re both shocked by the sound, watching the beads bounce into the street while people shoved past you both, glaring at you both for blocking the way

• and even though Junhui is late he stoops down to pick up the beads

• you stop him quickly

• “don’t worry, I have more beads at home”

• and he’s like “wait woah you made this” because it’s intricate and pretty and a little pixel art cat that he accidentally ruined ):

• but he feels so bad, and wants to pay you back somehow cuz the bracelets are so cute and he broke one!!! he cannot get over it!!!

• even when you assure him it’s fine he looks so concerned you have to give in

• so you give him your number, telling him to text you when he can and you can work something out

• and at the company he considers it all day

• he, an idol, just got a number from someone on the street. all because he messed up and then insisted to be in your life

• was this a good idea?

• Seungcheol hears about it eventually, and says to give it a chance

• “your friends are in another country, Jun. make some here too. plus you’re stressed, and it’s probably best to get any weight off your shoulders you can.”

• and so he texts you

• and plan to go to a cat cafe (his treat) on his next day off

• when he walks into the cafe you greet him with a beaming smile

• “I have a gift for you.” You grin, pulling something out of your bag

• and like, Jun almost disagrees, like “no I’m supposed to be apologizing to you” but then be sees what you’re offering

• a little cat bracelet just like the one he broke the other day

• he reaches out for it but you shake your head

• “there’s a special way to do it, here.”

• you give him a rundown on the style of bracelet, called kandi

• and you explain they’re meant to be traded

• “and there’s a secret handshake to trade with, ok? just do what I do.”

• peace, love, unity…

• and he’s suddenly holding your hand

• you slip the bracelet onto his wrist before letting go, grinning as he examines his new accessory

• “I’m y/n, by the way.”

• “Junhui.”

• you chat and play with the cats that come to visit your table

• you take off one of your kandi rings at one point and gently loop it around one of the kittens’ paws

• Jun hasn’t had this much fun in a while, much less been in such a positive environment

• as you were bright and cheery as you made kissy noises at the cats to offer them snacks

• always had something new to say or observe

• and when it was time to leave he really didn’t want to go

• you don’t either, but you have an appointment you can’t miss

• so you promise to do it again soon, giving Jun a quick hug and a wave before dashing off

• Jun can’t keep his eyes off the bracelet as he goes back to the company, running his fingers along the peyote weave

• he spends the rest of the night reading about kandi and kandi kid culture

• and everyone involved is so happy, and their bracelets?? like holy shit.

• he thought yours was good but some of these people had massive and intricate kandi

• the next time you meet, he asks if you can teach him how to make kandi

• and your face lights up!!

• the next few meetups he learns, little by little

• passing the bracelet to you if he can’t get part of it right

• and he just keeps getting surprised by your patience when you have to undo rows, your bubbly spirit calming a bit as you focus on a pattern

• and one day you invite him to a rave

• and yo he’s so nervous ??? but he wants to go so bad ???

• you promise him you guys can leave it early, because eventually you get overwhelmed too

• so he agrees

• you meet at your apartment, Jun shy as you flit around and drape him with more kandi

• you ask him to sit still as you paint a tiny design on his face in UV paint, hand resting on his jaw to keep him still

• and when you gleefully spin him around to look at himself in the mirror he’s just. wow.

• a line of heart stickers on his cheek, a necklace made from kid toys draped around his neck, and of course, endless bracelets

• this was so cool.

• the rave was even better.

• Jun got used to the flashing lights and eccentric music very quickly, mostly following behind as you greeted people and traded bracelets

• and then you turn and pull him out to the dance floor

• and that shit is like a fever dream.

• adrenaline, glitter, and neon lights fill your veins as you both dance for hours

• eventually too tired to keep up, you fall into Jun’s arms, laughing

• and he’s grinning too (:

• you leave shortly after that, walking home in the dark

• you stop to sit at a park bench, and Jun says he has a surprise

• he holds out his hand

• peace, love, unity, respect

• and slips a bracelet onto your arm

• he did it completely himself, as you’d never seen the design before

• it’s of a cat with a rainbow tail, along with his name spelled out in pixels

• and you look up at Jun, whose eyes are filled with anticipation

• and you give him a huge hug

• and he thanks you for showing him this diverse underground world full of color in the night; a way to break out of his shell a little

• and damn I guess you can’t help but hold back an “I love you”

• and he feels the glitter surge back into his veins

• and the feeling never leaves again (:

HOSHI

• Soonyoung always thought photographers were more likely to stay out of the lens’ view, but you proved him wrong

• when you introduced yourself as his photographer for the magazine shoot you were working on, he couldn’t help but feel like you should be in front of the camera, not him

• like holy shit. the beads and chains that engulfed your arm and shimmered in the dim lights. the clips nestled in your hair that were shaped like cartoon spiders. the patches for bands he’d never heard of on every square inch of your camera bag.

• he’s polite and energetic the whole shoot, and to be honest maybe you take a little longer than usual to line up closeups of his face

• after all he deserves the best photos (:

• once you’re finished you agree to meet again at Pledis the next day, just to review the photos

• and Soonyoung spends the whole night hyping himself up lol

• you look just as cool as the day before, if not better, and he manages to compliment you without a problem (practice pays off!!)

• he wants to see more of your photos, and you offer him a ticket to a portfolio viewing you’re having

• he shows up without telling you, taking his time to walk through the gallery and examine each photo

• and they’re so dynamic, perfectly balanced, mysterious. he can’t help but get lost in each one, not even noticing you staring at him

• you, heart warm from his wonder and genuine interest

• he was soon a common subject and reviewer of your photography

• and you were soon a common staple of his, Soonyoung trying to be with you at every opportunity

• he invites you over for movie nights with the other guys

• if you show up in your usual outfits he whines about how you’re all pokey and he can’t lay on your arm without getting stabbed ):<

• luckily you own soft sweatshirts that still look super cool so it’s a win/win

• he’s so adoring of everything you do omg

• every interest of yours is now his interest too

• and he’ll always be by your side, curious and wide-eyed, always ready for the next adventure with you

• whether it be through clothes, or photos, or even just the park

• you’re what makes it special (:

MINGHAO

• dude. he’d lose his shit in the best way possible.

• have you seen this man??? his sense of style??? he’d be drooling in seconds lol

• you’d catch him watching you as you intern at Pledis, sketching up scenes in the corner

• finishing your degree required film to turn in, and you managed to snag an internship with the production crew for Seventeen

• a successful music video for a major group would definitely save your grade lol

• every dance practice, you’d be in the corner, wedged against the mirrors, huddled over your sketchbook as you designed

• and of course you watched them dance, you had to encapsulate the emotion somehow

• during a water break, one of the members plops down next to you and introduces himself as Minghao

• his hair is damp with sweat, sleeveless shirt clinging to his chest

• and he asks to see your ideas

• the concept is focused on the ideas of identity, and your current plan was sketches of each member as the background

• you could animate them slowly turning into each member, and you explain the idea to Minghao as he very gently flips through the pages, fingers hardly touching the pages

• he lingers on his own page

• “you didn’t sketch anyone else’s face this detailed.”

• “you’re pretty.” You say simply, reaching for the book back

• he grins at his lap.

• he sits next to you every day now, always eager to see your designs

• but more often he wants to see your other works

• and when you tell him you and your friends made most of your clothes he’s dumbstruck

• “can you make some for me?”

• you laugh and he apologizes for being so straightforward

• but the next day you bring in a trench coat you’ve been illustrating

• cutting diamonds into the sleeves and lining them with neon thread

• the half-finished painting on the back your friend started working on

• and as you proudly explain the coat’s background Minghao can’t help but want to join in too

• the way your face lights up when you speak about it, how gently you fold the fabric, how you adjust the collar on him so it looks just right

• eventually you begin to hang out outside of the company

• and you take him to craft stores when you need supplies or new clothes to ruin

• and he has such a good eye oh my god

• and his long fingers pick up sewing so easily

• and many hours are spent on your apartment floor quietly snipping, painting, lacing

• minghao wears his clothes with pride, especially the ones you make for him

• you go out one day, both of you completely dressed in your own designs

• and Minghao has never felt this beautiful before

• and when he sees your outfit he can’t help but wrap you in a huge hug

• he’s proud: of himself, of you, of the creativity and passion and hours put into these clothes

• and he admits he’d like to keep that feeling around a lot more

• and so your time in the city becomes a date

• and behind the music video sets becomes a spot to hide and snuggle

• you still sketch him sometimes

• when he doesn’t notice

• when he’s too focused on choreo, or reading a book, or laughing at the other boys goofing around

• because you’re proud of him, too

• and when he sheepishly admits he’s been doing the same, pushing over his own sketchbooks filled with endless drawings, improving page by page

• you know he’s your other half.

DINO

• Dude he’d be so flustered

• he straight up would just. not know what to say and would probably be defensive whenever you talk to him so he might come off as rude ):

• it would take time for him to warm up to you

• but when he does it’s clear he can’t get you out of his head

• as a choreographer, you had to spend a lot of time with the performance line

• and in this case, specifically Chan, as he has a solo

• and just seeing you look so damn rad even when you’re slowly walking him through potential choreo,,,, homeboy is gonna break down and try and defend himself

• the first few days are awkward because he’s drawn back and a little hostile

• but you force him to get lunch with you after a particularly rough morning, just to try to have a better relationship

• you guys didn’t finish the choreo that afternoon, choosing to sit on the studio floor and talk

• the next day he’s still quiet, but shyly rather than defensively

• and he can’t seem to get his arms right, and you have to go over there and straighten his arms for him, rings digging into his biceps

• and even though he tries to hide his grin you know it’s what he wanted

• eventually your job is done and you’re ready to head to the next performer, or go plan choreo for another group

• and Chan shuffles up and even though his cheeks are red he manages to ask you out

• and how could you say no?

#svt #svt fic #svt scenarios #svt reactions #performance unit #jun #Junhui #hoshi #soonyoung #minghao #myungho #dino #lee Chan #svt x reader #x reader #kpop x reader #alt reader

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hello-nichya-here · 3 years

Text

Zucest - Is It Really Flirting?

(Originally posted on AO3 as chapter 43 of Defending and Analysing Zucest)

@azdaema-does-art asked: So I think a big stumbling block for me with this ship is that I very much adhere to the reading of the show that holds:

Quasi-Seducer!Azula (as seen virtually anytime) and Quasi-Seducer!Zuko (as seen in "The Waterbending Scroll") are not actually expressions of desire from them. Rather, this is Zuko and Azula trying to be intimidating by modeling their behavior off their father (circling, personal-space-invading, low seductive tones, etc)

When actually trying to flirt neither Zuko nor Azula acts anything like that. When Zuko goes on that date with a girl in the Earth Kingdom, or Azula flirting with that guy on Ember Island, they're both awkward disasters.

I'd be curious to hear you address this. (Or point me to some awkward disaster!zucest fanfic.)

***

That is a really good point and I'm glad you brought it up. While I understand that reading of the show, I disagree with it slightly for a few reasons (beyond my own bias).

Need to be in control: No one can argue against the fact that neither Zuko nor Azula know how to have "normal", healthy relationships with others, mainly due to how unequal 99% of the relationships in the Fire Nation are since imposing your own will over someone else's has become part of their culture. Both Zuko and Azula accepted being treated like mere tools/punching bags by their father, Zuko was constantly insulting Iroh over the smallest things and Azula full on threatened Ty Lee's life to make her join her on her chase after her brother and the Avatar - both were scenarios where desire wasn't a factor at all (thought I know many fans that would like to think otherwise XD)

However, during The Beach, we saw how both of them try (and fail) to deal with romance. Zuko was extremelly paranoid that Mai was interested in another guy, for no real reason, and was constantly trying to intimidate her into either admiting to it or into saying she disliked the guy, even though she had clearly said she was completely indifferent to him. And Azula, after her kiss with Chan, decided, on her own and not giving a damn about his feelings on the matter, that not only would they be officially a couple, but that they'd dominate the earth together. Control is, more often than not, a major factor in all of their actions and relationships, so Azula wanting to intimidate Zuko in the bedroom scene (which she very much tried to do and succeeded at) doesn't automatically rule out the possibility of atraction.

Mixed feelings: While "I wanna fight/kill my sibling" is sort of these two default state, there are moments that show that they do have at least some positive feelings for each other. Zuko doesn't give a shit that Aang is going to kill Ozai, but seeing Azula falling "to her death" and then chained up and defeated after their Agni Kai quite clearly made him emotional, even if he tried to control himself. Azula's positive feelings for Zuko are so obvious I had to do an in length discussion of it in chapter 12 "Is Zucest just about sex?" Combine all of the conflicting emotions they have for each other with their need to control the other, and some scenes end up getting some connotations the writers weren't planning them to have... supposedly (I'll get into that in a bit)

Awareness and familiarity: Don't get me wrong, Zuko and Azula are two extremelly traumatized, socially awkward teenagers who have no idea how to flirt (or how to fit in with people their age) but we also need to take context into consideration, especiall when it comes to Zuko's date with Jin and Azula's interactions with Chan.

In Ba Sing Se, Zuko was outside of his comfort zone, away from home, in enemy territory, and so paranoid that he assumed Jin came into the tea shop so often because she knew they were Fire Nation, not because she had a crush on him or simply enjoyed their tea. And while he liked her and the date was nice, Zuko was very "stiff" and even looked a bit uncomfortable (not to say very uncomfortable) at some points - which is oddly simmilar to how he was acting during the bedroom scene (hell, Azula was quite clearly looking at him just like Jin did, as I pointed out in "The most important parallel in Avatar"). Finally, we cannot forget that, even though he was awkward as fuck during 90% of the night, Zuko did manage to do something kinda romantic by lighting up the place, meaning he isn't completely oblivious to the concept of flirting (which is proved by his relationship with Mai).

Now, when it comes to Azula, the poor girl has almost no idea how to flirt. Almost. Talking about Chan's sharp outfit shows she's got some of the basis down, like "say something nice" - the problem is that her concept of "nice" is very different than that of most people. She did sort of know what to do once Ty Lee gave her some tips... but she quickly reversed back to her regular ways - which once again shows that flirting/seduction has an element of control and intimidation for her. She probably doesn't always mean to act in ways that could be considered flirty, but that doesn't mean she is completely oblivious to the implications of, let's say, invading her brother's personal space and talking to him in a low tone while wearing nothing but a robe.

And since I mentioned Azula going back to what she knows, that leads us to another thing to take into account: the fact that Zuko and Azula quite literally knew each other their whole lives - meaning if they were to ever flirt with each other, it would probably look at least somewhat different than when they were out of their element. Azula was the one in control, so she was far more comfortable and confident than she had been with Chan, and Zuko was the one being intimidated, which explains why he kept his guard up. Once again, that "theory" is sort of confirmed if we compare how Zuko acted while flirting with Mai on The Headband versus how he tried to interact with her in The Beach - when he used a non-traditional, but very Mai-esque "You're so beautiful when you hate the world" he got her equivalent of an "I love you" when she told him she didn't hate him, but he tried to do more "normal" things like getting her a pretty shell it blew up on his face. He knows Mai since they were both kids, meaning he usually knows how to deal with her, just like Azula usually knows how to deal with him.

Intensity: While a lot of Azula's behavior can be explained by her copying Ozai, we need to remember that there's only so much he could affect, especially since her way of "intimidating" Zuko was far more touchy and incestuous than his, and lasted a lot longer. Azula gets close to people when she's intimidating them (see how she toyed with Aang in The Drill), but not as close as she did with her brother. The sole exception to that being Sokka on The Day Of Black Sun - but that is on somewhat shaky ground despite the accidental sexual tension since the first time she got close to him she was being launched by the Dai Li and he just happened to be standing a little bellow the direction she was launched at, and the second time had him pinning her to the wall (which is in character since Sokka usually goes straight at his foes to intimidate them while fighting), and as soon as she had her firebending back she pushed him away. On top of that, she was trying to distract him, Aang and Toph, meaning he wasn't her focus at all, and she ignored him on all the other times their groups were facing each other.

With Zuko on the other hand, she was going full force, like I said on my analysis of the bedroom scene. She played coy, stared at him in a very intense, weird way, circled the pillar on her bed, stretched in front of him, got on his personal space touching his shoulder and chest, and bit her lip while talking basically purring her words. That is all a bit too much for me to believe it was just about intimidation. And the touching gets even more suspicious when you notice Azula does enjoy and is willing to give physical affection - she hugged both Mai and Ty Lee after seeing them again, pulled Ty Lee close while conforting her and apologizing for her harsh words at The Beach... and put her hand on Zuko's shoulder while saying he restored his own honor to reassure him after he was feeling bad for betraying his uncle.

Intention of the actors/writers/animators: Avatar is no stranger to parallels. It also isn't a stranger to adult themes/jokes, fanservice, and ship teasing. For instance, even thought they didn't end up together and were never canonically interested in each other, there was A LOT of hints/teases of Zutara - dude fucking took lightining to the heart for her.

Just like the writers and producers were aware of Zutara, Tokka and many, many other ships, they were also aware of Zucest and even jokingly shipped Azula and The Blue Spirit at a panel. The animators habit of sexualizing the characters speaks for itself, so I won't even go into that. Finally, Grey Delisle, Azula's voice actress is a Zucest shiper, has brought it up many times, asked people to send her fanart and fanfic of it, created the phrase "Zucest is best cest", and has full on said she voiced the scene as if Azula was trying to seduce Zuko, - which regardless of whether or not the writers intended for the character to be doing, means that there is a very strong incest subtext to the scene and that, in a weird way, "Azula" herself confirmed her motives to act the way she did.

#zucest #azuko #shipcest #meta #azula #zuko #fire siblings #atla #avatar

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energyanon · 3 years

Text

ITS TIME FOR:

THE SEBASTIAN STAN MEGAMIX:

Don’t you dare go through the rest of the reading without getting yourself hyped with the link first cause I spent OVER TWO HOURS ON THIS READING AND YOU WILL DO WHAT I ASK DAMMIT.

* https://youtu.be/nendMLrpI-s*

ALSO: no one kill me, there is a very unpopular opinion that unfolded. I just feel the energy, don’t avada kadavra the messenger. It’s not my fault if it doesn’t match your ideal, man.

I’ve put Seb down first - just on his own.

I know I’ve said he seems like a sad bitch, and this might be because it was his birthday like.. what yesterday? And maybe I’m in his current energy (I’ll check on a different timeline) but…

Fans are gonna say it’s fake - he’s happy.

He’s really content. He’s swaying a bit which is why I feel like there’s like a tiny bit of drunk-ness hence why I feel like I’m in his CURRENT energy, but there’s 0 fault. He is so peaceful and happy and content. There’s nothing else to it.

So I closed that off, switched him over to “2021 energy” just to see how he’s been going for the most part rather than right now. And there was an immediate change, specifically to the middle of my head, a sort of pressure there. Heavy eyes, not as happy and starting to get hot. Specifically in shoulders and arms and hands. Hands is usually anxiety, shoulders and arms… I don’t usually get. The happiness is there but the smiles are fleeting. Otherwise it’s not sad it’s just… floating through, getting by. Pressure in my head is getting worse though and now my back is itchy. With energy letting me know that, I can only assume there needs to be a placement of something behind him.

Ok, placement behind him whatever it is, is DRAGGING him down. Mood changed entirely. And he’s being pulled BACK to this thing almost like he wants to fall into it. He’s really focused on in front of him, not quite scared, but eyes wide. Panicked. He does NOT want to look behind him.

The feeling now is.. almost a depression; tired. And he’s looking on the ground now. That almost always means that he’s looking at someone who has died.

Guys? Any death around him recently??

YOOO OK THATS FUCKED AS SOON AS I WROTE THAT THERE WAS SOMETHING IN MY ROOM THAT MOVED ITSELF WITH A GIANT CLANK 👀 I AM NOT DOING A SEANCE TONIGHT FOLKS I AM OUTTIE.

CLOSING THAT ONE OFF REAL FUCKING FAST JOLY SHIT. Gimme a sec to get whatever the fuck that is outta here.

Ok no that’s a lie. Why does it feel like Grandparent Stan.

Guys, has one of the grandparent Stan’s died? It’s not a bad energy, but to him it feels like depression. I’m taking a moment just to speak to them cause they clearly wanted my attention. I tried to end it there cause I don’t fuck with spirits, but as soon as I tried to close my apps it said “no” really sweetly, so…

Ok so I just spent about half an hour doing a mini constellation for them. When it comes to grief and also the ~spirit~ letting itself be known I knew they were gonna stay around until I helped. It was pretty personal, but I got them through it. Felt a lot like a grandma from one of the sides I’m not sure who. Gave me some very cute images of her and little Seb playing in a park and cooking 🥺 Seb cried alot, but was also VERY happy to see her. They said their bits, he knows she’s a support. She’s agreed to be there for the rest of the reading however he needs her. They’re currently holding hands in letting him keep her there.

Let’s move on.

Didnt think I would cry in this one but here I am.

Ok I’ve got him in his previous position, Grandma?Stan is behind him, we’re moving on.

He feels A lot better now that the grief has been sorted through. Feels fresh.

Career/fans came up in that mini constellation so I will put that down next.

The only thing he brought up about the fans was he feels like they’re ripping him apart. He feels like everyone wants a piece of him and he can’t give them that.

I put career down. Career is in front of him facing him to his left. The fans, surprise surprise, wanted to be right on top of him. And he is CHOKING with that being the case. Throat clamping up, airways are BLOCKED. I’m moving them off.

Even then, the fans are too close, Seb has taken two steps back.

Even then they’re still too close. He’s moved to behind career, so career is blocking the view of him and the fans.

Here in this position he’s standing like a statue, he feels like he’s successfully hidden and it’s here he’s gonna stay.

Moving to career:

Career is super confused at where he went and also feels like fans are a bit close. also feels like it is better than the fans. Kind of giving them a look of disgust. Career seems to understand that the fans are gonna be stuck close to them but they think of them a bit like they’re looking at something a bit dirty.. like career doesn’t want to get their hands on them. Career wants to turn to Seb.

Career is bigger than Seb by quite a bit. Not as overbearing as Chris’s career was though, and seems to be on good terms with him. It doesn’t have any feelings of animosity towards Seb, it’s just looking at him like “you good?” And then looking back at the fans and being like “cause of THEM? Really? Lol ok”

But career feels fine to block him off from fans, that’s ok it doesn’t mind. Career doesn’t want Seb to take his eyes off it though. Eyes on career. Keep your eyes on career.

Don’t look anywhere else. Eyes on career.

Back to Seb:

Seb agrees, eyes on career. He’s very obedient to that.

There’s nothing else for me to do with these two so I went to see if he wanted to look past career at fans. He didn’t. Eyes on career.

(What have you guys done to him, i followed him back in CA:WS and he wasn’t like this at ALL. Damn guys.)

I went back to fans and they just kept making the same movement, they wanted to be on top of him. Close wasn’t close enough. I’m not moving them back there though cause then it will just go in circles and we want MOVEMENT.

I’m leaving fans there.

I am adding GF

Ale? Is that what people call her?

Ale has placed herself behind career. She is currently fully in the fans view, but she’s facing career and seb, career has back to her, seb is facing her way.

She seems to know that career is most important and she’s ok with that. She’s kind of expectantly trying to get his attention though. Like the feeling of waiting for someone to get off work and waiting for them at the door. She’s just waiting. She looks at fans like they’re beneath her though. Doesn’t like them. Not dislike, but they’re beneath her, she doesn’t need to interact.

No other movement from her besides the fact that she wants seb to move over to her so he can be by her side.

I went to the fans and they’re just all BORING their eyes into her. No need to even look at seb it’s ALE. No movement from them otherwise.

Moving back to seb:

Eyes on career. Eyes on career, except ale is more interesting now and he wants to shuffle over her way, but also career? But also ale.

He doesn’t want to go the obvious way, he kind of wants to sneak past career.

I’m gonna sneak him past career.

He’s doing it sheepishly and very slowly. Like a little boy shuffle.

Ok seb is now in front of ale, career is behind him, backs faced to each other.

Ale is taller to him. (Usually means he thinks highly of her OR that she’s in a more powerful position in the relationship but it doesn’t feel like that he’s acting like a simp)

So weird this is such simp behaviour, I moved ale back a little cause they were practically on top of each other but he was like “noooooo” and moved himself closer again.

Like dude you’re practically breathing in her organs. Chill.

It’s weird though Hes not feeling like He wants to cuddle her or be anything other than just close to her. He seems to be completely mesmerised by her. Short breaths though, he’s not relaxed. But he cannot take his eyes off her.

Moving to Ale:

She doesn’t really take her eyes off him either but she’s much more easily distracted.

She’s very fond of him though. She feels very content. She likes him, she’s happy there.

No more movement from either of them so let’s ask questions.

I asked both parties if they loved each other. Ale said yes, seb said I don’t know.

It’s also not “I don’t know” in a 😬 way it’s.. a curious and nice “I don’t know” kind of like.. “I’ve never felt like THIS before.. is THIS love?”

He does feel a bit blocked though, like he’s not admitting to himself 100% but it’s so bizzare his feelings and his words aren’t matching up cause I feel so fond of this woman so why is he saying I DONT KNOW?!

Ok I see the problem now. I just said one word:

Marriage? Ale said “yes please :)”

And sebs immediate reaction was 😳 😬

Ya boy. Has commitment issues. He’s making sense now. I swear to god if he has Gemini in his chart.. I swear.

Q: ale, why did you get with seb?

He seemed nice 😊 (also an image of a yacht on the water popped up?)

Q: do you have pure intentions towards him

She… didn’t know how to answer that, it was a very hesitant yes.

Q: are you with him for the money?

The answer was a pretty clear yes but she tried to cover her tracks with “it’s nice 😊”

Q: If Sebastian lost everything would you still love him?

No hesitation it was still yes.

So what I’m getting here is she does like the money, she does like him, money is a main factor but… she genuinely likes him I don’t know what to tell you guys.

Q: seb do you like ale?

Yes

Q: why did you start dating her?

She’s hot! (He laughed at that) and then said she’s funny, she’s cute, she’s sweet… great body

Q: do you think you’ll spend your life with her?

Same reaction as the marriage question it was a very hesitant “I’m not sureeeeee….”

The energy is drifting a bit now so I’m ending it here:

Q: is there anything else you want to say.

I wish they would leave her alone

Q: do you want them to leave you alone?

No, I can handle it. They can do what they want, I just want them to leave her alone.

That’s it!

That’s all I got.

I didn’t get any bad vibes from Ale at all.

She seems to like him. I don’t know why everyone is so mad?

Seb also seems to like her. I’d be surprised if he doesn’t have Gemini in the big three or Venus, cause that’s exactly like me, ive got Leo Venus, cancer sun that makes me all lovey physically but in my gemini moon and merc make my head like MMmmmMmmMmM BUT DO I ACTUALLY LIKE THEM THOUGH? Haha.

Someone look up his chart for me pls.

Edit: I did just realise I didn’t even ask if it was PR. Sorry, my bad. Assess the above how you will.

That also didn’t go how I thought it would at all. I know you guys thought he was super sad and making all the wrong decisions, but he really only seemed dragged down from something else entirely. That being said I didn’t add the agency you guys warned me about but it also didn’t pop up at all. Maybe in the next one. I did make a couple of mistakes here in terms of probably not asking the right things that will make the entire situation clearer. Sorry guys when I’m in it I’m only thinking of what pops up and going where the energy leads me. 😶

Peace ✌🏼

#ss #reading

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errzula · 4 years

Text

Second installment of Sokkla first meetings. Azula lives next to an annoying pop fanatic.

Azula has been waking up screaming for the past week. And times like this, she envied Zuko so much.

She wished that she had her brother's support system, that she had someone to turn to when things were breaking apart, a sincere human touch during the divorce, the violence, and the over all depression they all went through. When Azula left their home, she thought that she'll also be leaving the painful memories she had. But she didn't, and it haunts her in her most vulnerable hour.

It's all coming back, in flashes, in little things. Every thing in the world reminded her of what they have become, of how broken and hopeless they were.

All she wanted was a night of rest. A dreamless sleep. A moment of peace that her nonexistent family kept away from her.

"I should have not married you!"

"But you did, and here we are!"

The crashing sound of breaking glass, Zuko's cries, door slam, choked tears rang in her person. It drummed in her ears and she can't block the noise no matter how hard she press her palms on her ears. She can't do anything, but be immersed in the memory she already lived through.

"I'll take Zuko with me!"

"Who cares about that stupid brat?"

"Rather than that monster that you call dau-"

"If you can see I'm the one who understands you-"

Something loud and awful blasted on the beside room beside her.

"-Been here all along so why can't you see, you belong with me"

A pop song was being played by her neighbor. She checked the time. 11:00 pm.

She went to her balcony and called her neighbor's attention.

"Excuse me? I don't know what shit you're doing, but people are trying to sleep here."

A man peeked from the windows. "I am sorry, I am sorry! It was my alarm."

"At this ungodly hour?"

He stumbled to his balcony, knocking over his dried house plants leaving soil and pebbles scattered on the floor. "I have things to do, and I am a really heavy sleeper. It won't happen again. I am sorry."

But it did happen again.

"My ex-man brought his new girlfriend She's like "Oh, my god!" but I'm just gonna shake"

And again.

"I KNEW YOU WERE TROUBLE WHEN YOU WALK IN!"

Azula could be anything, but patient. In the middle of the night, she marched towards his unit, her mind bursting with threats. After 3 heavy knocks, he opened his door and got a glimpse at his room. What she saw almost made her strangle him on the spot.

2 speakers were directly placed at the wall adjacent to her place. His phone conveniently placed at the top.

"Is this some sick joke? Did you perhaps live in a barbaric-" She was losing the little amount of sleep she could salvage because of her neighbor's stupidity?

"Please, let me explain-"

Azula didn't. She instead gave him her deadliest glare.

"NO. YOU. LISTEN. Do this again, I'll report you to the building manager, and be prepared to be kicked out in an instant."

"That's not-"

She slammed his own door to his face.

Her night terrors weren't only about how things fell apart. Sometimes (and her most hated ones) she was visited by the happy memories of the past.

She would watch how her parents would hold each other as they lovingly gaze at their children playing in the shore. Snippets of her father's smiling face.

It was fucking unfair. Why experience perfection if it would only be taken away from you. Why be given with happy memories when it would only serve as a reminder to what you've lost.

Tap. Tap. Tap

What did Azula do to be deprived of a loving home?

Tap. Tap. Tap.

How would Azula be able to-

TAP. TAP. TAP.

It took her a full minute before she realized that she was pulled out of her nightmare.

Instinctively she looked at the source of the noise. At her glass door, she saw pieces of pebbles pooling at her balcony's floor.

Azula slid the door open and was greeted by a flying pebble to her head.

It was him, again. The shaved head gangster who apparently enjoy fucking with his neighbor's life.

"Pack your bags." Azula was about to make the call that will ultimately ruin this weirdo's life.

"I know you've been having nightmares. Every night." Azula raised a curious brow, but still went on with the phone call.

"And I really can't ignore it. I know it's none of my business. But I get it. My sister had her episodes before. I had my fair share of terrors before." Azula ended that call and stared at him.

"Back then, my sister and I had each other. Until I didn't, and had to wake myself up from those."

She cannot stop herself from scoffing at his sappy speech. "Please, you probably thought I was an easy target. Is pleasing yourself not that satisfying anymore?"

A faint blush on his cheek, he avoided her gaze. "I didn't even know you, until the first night! I- I admit that you're cute, but even if you're a burly dude who can take me down with a snap, I would have done the same thing."

Silence. She noticed him itching towards his door.

"Name."

"Huh?"

"Tell me your name."

"Ah. It's Sokka. Nice to meet you..?"

"Not it's not. Don't do this again, this is my life, my problem."

Sokka released a breath he was unconsciously holding. He went inside his room. He didn't know what he was expecting, but oddly, he felt that things went perfectly.

And it did, because on the other side, Azula was leaning on the glass door, not as hopeless and mad as she was earlier.

"Thank you, Sokka."

Hello! It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything. I missed this fandom so much, I deactivated my first account but I guess, I cannot stay away from these cute babiess.

#atla #sokkla #sokka #azula #fanfiction #sokkla fanfiction

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alfred-braginsky · 4 years

Text

RusAme Secret Santa 2020

My secret santa this year is @grapeautumn !!! I hope you like it, Merry Belated Christmas!

Gift requested: Human AU Alfred accidentally summons a demon while making Christmas cookies. The problem comes when Alfred just vehemently doesn't believe in demons and just figures some random guy showed up at his house. The demon, Ivan, starts out fairly miffed but warms up to Alfred (Comedy/fluff, any rating)

Shit, shit , shit, shit!

Alfred simply cannot believe he forgot to make the Christmas cookies for the office potluck. Well, he could believe it. It was common knowledge that he was known to have one or two things slip from his mind. There was no way he could go out now at this point in the night. The roads were icy, and it was too snowy for anyone to see in this weather even with their brights on. All he had to make cookies was lingering ingredients in the cabinets. There wasn’t even a recipe he could follow, everything online looked like either too much work or too basic.

He couldn’t exactly serve up ‘banging your head against the wall’ at the party, so what could he do? A sense of clarity washed over him. He would call his friend Francis! After all, his pastries always seemed to kick ass at any event, formal or just your average potluck. Pulling out his phone he dials his number.

No answer.

Things seemed bleak. There was no hope. Nothing he could do. He didn’t have an inkling on the seemingly complicated mysteries to baking cookies. Another thought came to him in his time of need. There is no other choice. He was going to have to call Arthur.

Alfred shuddered at the thought of having to call his cousin for baking advice. The first reason being is that he would never hear the end of it from Arthur. He would have that smug smirk on his face as he brings it up every other Christmas with the family in that condescending tone Alfred hates so much.

The second reason being that any recipe he would get from him would probably end up as piles of ash. Arthur isn’t exactly known for his baking. Alfred hoped his improvisation skills would save him as long he had the building blocks for a cookie.

Swallowing his pride didn’t seem so hard when he was this desperate. As the phone range he immediately regretted his decision. Too late to hang up now, Arthur would know he called.

“Hm, hello?” the line stopped ringing as Arthur’s sleepy voice answered.

“…”

Alfred hoped if he didn’t say anything maybe it will just be just be ignored and Alfred can go back to panicking in peace.

“Hello? Alfred? This better not be another prank call; I won’t fall for it twice! I’m hangin---”

“No! Wait…I’m sorry. This isn’t a prank, I swear.”

“What time is it there? Did something happen? Do I need come over there earlier than expected?”

“What? No! I need your help with something, and it doesn’t require you to come over.”

Arthur was silent for a moment out of curiosity.

“What do you want?” with cautious hesitation.

------

Alfred had explained everything. Arthur was as smug as expected. Luckily for Alfred, he didn’t need to write anything down. Arthur stored some of the books he likes to read at his place for when he comes over for the holidays. An unpublished cookbook that Arthur had written himself was among the box of books.

Alfred went to the hallways closet and quickly located the box. Rifling through the book he was intrigued with a mix of disgust at how many cheesy romance novels were in the box. They all looked the same. His eyes widen as he spotted a book that looked different from all. The book was black and faded. It didn’t seem like Arthur’s style, but it was the only one that was different. Well, maybe if he looked more…

Nah!

There was no time for that. Alfred flipped through the book and was positive there had to be something in there. If it turned out to be Arthur’s diary, that was even better! Maybe he could find some dirt on him.

Speaking of dirt, it seems like that was the first ingredient for the cookies. Weird? But Alfred wasn’t going to question it.

He grabbed his coat and tried to get as much dirt as he could from the frozen ground. He collected all the dirt required in a bowl. Next step was flesh? Okay…this was going a bit off the track of cookies, but if this is what the recipe asked for who was he to question it?

He grabbed chicken nuggets from the freeze and heated them up in the microwave. Once heated up he put them in the dirt and began to mix the ingredients.

Alright, what did he need to do next? His eyes scanned the very old pages and his eyes widen at what the recipe asked for next.

“What the hell, cut a lock of my own hair?!” he exclaimed.

That had to be some kind of health code violation. Alfred is certain that the recipe will call for him to take it out later. The recipe required a few more ingredients that he was able to find nearby. After it was all mixed together, he rolled the nasty concoction out and began using Christmas cookie cutters to make them into holiday themed shapes. He sprinkled them with peppermint for a pop of color.

The final step was to leave them under the light of the full moon. Alfred looked out the window to see the entire moon above him. What luck! With a yawn he set them down with the window open for the full effect of the full moon’s rays. Baking took a lot of work and he deserved to rest. After taking a quick shower, he got into some comfy pajamas, and went to sleep.

The next morning, Alfred woke up to the sound of his alarm blaring in his ear. Letting out a groan he put his phone on snooze and shut his eyes hoping for a few more minutes of sleep. His eyes snapped open as he heard a loud crash coming from downstairs. He jumped out bed and immediately dug through his closet and pulled out a wooden baseball bat.

With caution he tipped toed out of his bedroom and around the corner where the banging and clashing was coming from. Swallowing hard, he gripped the bat tightly, ready to swing at whatever was in his kitchen. What made him think that leaving the window open at night was a good idea?!

Maybe it was a hungry raccoon. Maybe a party girl who went into the wrong house. Or maybe---

A tall man dressed in all black EATING HIS COOKIES!

“What the hell are you doing? Do you know how long it took me to make those!” Alfred shouted as he lowered the bat, his mouth dropping open in disbelief. His eyes held a pang of defeat. He was going to get scolded by his boss for not bringing anything to potluck again. His boss already didn’t like him. God, he was the fucking worst. At least bringing these cookies would have gotten him off his back today. Well, that is if this stranger hadn’t eaten them!

“Watch your tongue mortal.” A sweet yet threatening voice came from the intruder.

“What? Shut up! You’re the one who broke into my house and ate my Christmas cookies!” Alfred was so frustrated with this entire situation. The day started out so poorly he doesn’t know how it could possibly get any worse.

“You made me an offering. I was supposed to eat the offering.” The man had calmly explained. His previous demeanor shaken when the human who summoned him spoke to him in that way. No mortal has spoken to him like that, but he was unable to harm the entity who summoned him so there was nothing he could do about it.

“What offering? Dude, you literally broke into my house and ate the cookies that took me all night to make!”

“I am a demon from the 5th realm of Hell. I would not be in the house of someone like you if I was not called upon.” For the most part, people who summoned knew what they were doing. This man seemed clueless.

“A demon, huh? Where are your wings? Got any horns? You look like someone dug you out of the clearance section at Hot Topic.”

This references completely flew over Ivan’s head. This is taking into account that he could speak any mortal language, but he could not understand what it is the other man was going on about.

“I am in my most simple form to survive in this realm. You added unnecessary things to the offering, I could not come in my true form.”

“So ya can’t even prove it then?” Alfred crossed his arms over his chest and raised a brow.

There was a moment of silence. Ivan was trapped in this realm with no powers, and no one to call upon. He hung his head in defeat.

“No. I cannot.”

Alfred sighed. Well, there was nothing he could do at this point.

“Alright, you’re gonna come to the grocery store with me and replace the ones you ate. Wait there, I’m gonna get dressed.” Alfred held a calm tone as he noticed things becoming less hectic. He nodded before leaving the kitchen.

Quickly getting dressed and packing his work stuff into his side bag, Alfred comes back to see the man standing in the exact same spot. This man has not moved an inch.

“Are…you alright?” he asks hesitantly, looking at him up and down. His eyes landed on the strange man’s face. Their eyes locked. He had purple eyes. How strange.

Alfred’s face flushes red as he realizes he was staring at him.

“Yes, I am fine. I was told to wait. You on the other hand look feverish? You are quite red.” His tone did not waver.

“Y-Yeah! I’m fine. Let’s just get going, don’t think I forgot about you eating my cookies.”

“I have already explained myself, that was an offering!” The demon becoming increasingly frustrated with the other man. Ivan was at a complete loss as to how this man did not know he had summoned him.

Alfred rolled his eyes and exited his apartment with the other man in tow. They got to his car and Alfred proceeded to get in. The demon looked confused.

“What are you standing around for, get in!”

The man had a look of embarrassment.

“I do not know how.”

Alfred was inclined to believe him, although it was something so unbelievable. However, his tone seemed too meek to say otherwise. He gets out of the car and makes his way over to the other man as snow crunches under his boots.

“See this? It’s a handle you just pull.” His voice laced with patience as he explained the tricky technology that was a car door. He was a faster learner, on the second try he managed to open the door.

Both were seated in the car and Alfred began to drive away.

“By the way you never told me your name. I’m Alfred. Alfred F. Jones!” A bright smile adorned his face as the other had a tint of red on his cheeks. Probably from the cold.

“My name is I̶͖̠͋̿̐́v̸͈̥̗͇̂a̸̺̿́̆̈́͑n̸̐͑̑��.”

Alfred could not understand the sounds the other man had just made. He blinks in confusion and clears his throat to hide his nerves.

“What?” asking for clarification.

“Ah, I am sorry. My accent is very thick. My name, to translate it into something you would understand, is Ivan.”

Alfred rolled the name around on his tongue. He offers him a kind smile.

“Cool!”

They arrive at the grocery store. The doors had just opened and it was full of elderly people and tired moms. Alfred hopes the lines aren’t too long, he really doesn’t want to be late, who knows what his boss will say.

“C’mon. We’re here for one thing.” Alfred motions Ivan to follow and he does. The grocery store was just like any other.

Full of food, noises, smells, bright lights. Ivan hates this place. The demon follows Alfred a little too closely. The shorter man can practically feel his body pressed against his own. Damn, he was so touch starved.

“Hey buddy, you think you can take a step back or two?” Stopping in his tracks to confront Ivan about the problem.

“I am here to serve you. I cannot do that if I am far.”

“Yeah, I’m not asking for 6 feet, just a few inches.” Alfred massaged his temples, so this was how the day was going to go, huh?

Ivan thought it over and took a step back.

“Very well then.”

“Thank you.”

The grocery store wasn’t as packed as he thought. Although, because it was only a few days before Christmas he wasn’t sure how likely it was that there were going to be any cute cookies left.

Rushing over to the baked goods sections his eyes zeroed in on the last box of Christmas cookies. A smile curled on his lips that fell just as quickly when he spotted an old woman reaching and then grabbing the box of cookies he so desired.

A look of sadness washed over Alfred; a defeated smile replaced his disappointed frown. Ivan watched as his bright energy seemed to vanish. Something inside of him told him that he needed to do something. They haven’t known each other for very long but the way Alfred has been treating him has been different than the other humans who have summoned him in the past.

The demon has some magic left on reserve for emergencies. Seeing the smile wiped off Alfred’s face was considered an emergency.

A dark aura enveloped Ivan and in an instant he appears in front of the now frightened older woman.

“You are not worthy of those cookies. Your mortal hands are unfit to hold possession of the power and responsibility they yield. Put them down and you shall not be harmed.” Ivan’s pitch was lower than Alfred has ever heard. The man just stared in shocked with his jaw dropped as the older woman practically threw them back on the table and went off speeding as fast as she could with her cart.

Ivan immediately went back to his human form. He picked up the mostly intact cookies and brought them to Alfred.

“For you.” He says, moving his hand up to Alfred’s face to shut his open mouth.

Alfred’s eyes were still wide.

“W-Why did you scare her like that? It was important but not that important she probably shit herself!”

“You are very crass. I did it for you.”

Alfred was upset but the action was very endearing. The way the black aura shrouded Ivan was pretty hot. Wait, why was thinking that? He needed to stop.

“Thank you. That was really nice of you. But you can’t scare old ladies like that! Maybe next time, ask her if she’s willing to give them up. You’ve probably traumatized her for life.”

“It does not seem like she had much time left.” Ivan said with complete seriousness. Alfred elbowed Ivan trying not to laugh.

“Alright! Let’s go pay for this bad boy.”

“Why must we pay? We fought for this, we won. We deserve to keep the spoils.”

“That’s not how it works, big guy.” Alfred claps the taller man on the shoulder as he leads them to the cash register.

“By the way. You gotta show me that magic trick you did earlier with the old lady.”

“Magic?”

“Yeah! Like did you have some smoke bombs? A voice changer?” Alfred’s eyes sparkle never taking his eyes off Ivan as he pays.

“I am a demon.”

“I see. A magician never reveals his secrets.” Alfred nods in understanding. “Artie’s the same way! He never thought we could see him practicing. But he wore this goofy cape everywhere.”

They talk as they make their way back to the car. Ivan opens the passenger door like a pro. The cookies seated safely on Ivan’s lap as they continue to talk.

“Artie?” he asks, the name tumbling clumsily on his lips.

“Yeah! My cousin Arthur. Yeah! He’s the one I got the book from that had the recipe of the cookies you ate.”

Ivan felt like he was talking to a brick wall. Alfred seemed nice enough, but he simply cannot believe that he is a demon and that Alfred summoned him. He needed to save his strength and peace of mind and just played along.

“Come with me to the office Christmas party? We get a plus one and since you’re already with me, and since we’re already on our way.”

“Yes.” There were too many things in Alfred’s sentence that flew over his head and it was just easier to accept them. He doesn’t know what he’s getting himself into.

They park by a plain building with grey brick, the parking lot covered in the fresh snow that was falling. Getting out of the car, Ivan vowed to protect these Christmas cookies with his life. He would ensure their safety until they arrived at their destination: The Break Room.

Alfred pressed a button, and they entered the elevator. He saw Ivan flinch and took his hand to calm him. Ivan’s shoulders dropped as he took a breath; he was grateful for the hand. The hand was soft and warm against his. The elevator bell dinged, and Alfred let go much to Ivan’s disappointment. Both of them stepped out and into Alfred’s workplace.

The shorter man greeted a few of his co-workers as he wore a friendly smile making his way over to the break room. His boss was there already, telling a story clearly no one wanted to hear.

“Look who made it on time for once, huh?” As he laughed. Ivan saw Alfred twitch and the demon narrowed his eyes at the small man. The party had plenty of treats and goodies. With more than enough cookies.

“Oh, I thought you asked me to get the cookies?” Alfred asked through gritted teeth.

“Huh? Oh yeah, I figured you wouldn’t so I asked Martina to bake some instead. Sorry, completely slipped my mind.” Alfred wanted to kill him. He has never wanted to murder someone so badly.

“I mean you’re not exactly the brightest, which is fine, we all have our strengths.”

Ivan has no clue what is happening, but he knows Alfred is not as stupid or forgetful as this man is making him seem. From what he has seen Alfred is kind, generous, and patient. Qualities he does not see from most mortals.

“Just let this be a lesson for ya, okay?” walking over to Alfred and putting a hand on his shoulder. Alfred was visibly uncomfortable. Ivan snapped. It didn’t matter if it used up the last of his power in getting home. The black aura returned along with blue flames. Horns protruded from his head as dark wings ripped through the back of his shirt. Wings that expanded the entire length of the break room.

“How dare you say such things when you are nothing but a miserable pile of waste. You are a pitiful excuse for a mortal. You are a worm beneath my feet and the feet of the one who summoned me.”

Ivan stomps over to the shaking manager and effortlessly picks the man up by the throat. The manager struggles in his grip. The employees gasp and watch with shocked expressions.

“You will show some respect and reverence to those who deserve it since you are only the dirt under my foot.” Ivan drops the man with a thud and the manager wriggles away and hides behind the other employees. Alfred stands tall as Ivan turns to him and reverts to his human form. Ivan lets out a heavy sigh as Alfred wraps his arms around the other man and kisses him. Ivan doesn’t know what this means but his human form seems to know instinctively to kiss back.

They break it and Ivan sweeps Alfred off his feet and picks him up bridal style. Alfred laughs and wraps his arms around his neck. Ivan goes to leave but Alfred stops him for a moment.

“Also. I quit. Merry Christmas, bitch!”

#rusame secret santa 2020 #rusame #aph russia #aph america #christmas #aph #my shit

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radramblog · 3 years

Text

Album Discussion- Shinjuku Mad

Usually on a Tuesday I like to take my time with a blog post. Listen to a full album, do a little research, put some real effort into it.

Unfortunately, time is not my ally today. So I kinda have to do one that’s a bit easier- in this case, I think I’d rather go after one of the ones that’s already on my phone, in case I have to do this on the bus or something.

(wait, I drove in today…)

Today we’re going to go into a self-titled album that is somehow not the artist’s debut. Rather, Shinjuku Mad is the second of two albums released under the name- the reason I specify as such is that one of the two (and later, the vocalist would help out again) members would go on to relative fame under a different name- Vaportrap pioneer Blank Banshee.

Peering into this album is like looking at a beta version of what was to come. It’s very much a different genre, an IDM album that completely predates Vaporwave’s explosion of popularity and Blank Banshee’s seminal album, Blank Banshee 0. It’s a solid enough album in addition to this, but it’s kind of hard to talk about seeing as there’s basically nobody who knows about Shinjuku Mad that didn’t learn about it through Blank Banshee. As such, expect a lot of BB coming up in this post.

Also a block of words, because no music videos exist for this at all. It’s one of those obscure albums.

This album opens on Cure for Fear. It’s one of those introductory tracks you often get in albums, at about a minute and a half long, with very reverb-y percussion and vocals and an almost ethereal haze of noise. It’s got these chimes that occasionally come up, reminiscent of some of the tracks from the AKIRA soundtrack, but beyond that there’s not a huge amount going on here. It does introduce a problem, however, one which we’ll get to later. It’ll be pretty evident if you’re listening along, though.

Track 2: Kowloon. I really did forget how short a lot of these songs were, with this being 2:13- the whole 10-track album clocks in at under half an hour. There’s a mix of drum machine and hollow wood percussion on this track that gives it a really interesting sort of feel, and some of the effects on the vocals feel extremely vaporwave- it’s no surprise that the dude behind this went on into that genre. Here’s where I can’t help but hammer on that issue I mentioned earlier, though.

The vocals on this album are quite weak. I know they’re very much trying to be ethereal, the reverb and falsetto make that much clear, and that style very much suits the instrumentation. But it just doesn’t sound great. It kinda comes and goes, but by and large I’d label them as subpar. I don’t really think it’s the fault of the performance either, it’s not like the bloke is missing his lines or mumbling more than is necessary for the album’s aesthetic, but there’s just something about them. They might be too loud in the mix for this kind of genre? I’m not 100% sure.

Resistor, the third track, is the best known song from this album by an order of magnitude. I mean that quite literally, as the track as over 540,000 monthly listens on Spotify as compared to Kowloon’s 32000. It’s kind of shocking, I mean for such an obscure album with zero singles, why is this of all tracks the one people suddenly latched onto?

As it turns out, it’s because again of the artist’s future work as Blank Banshee. Resistor would be reworked into one of the more popular tracks from BB0, Dreamcast, and it would appear that people got curious as to what the source was.

The thing is, aside from sharing a vocal performance, the tracks are very different. As it is, Resistor is a much faster track than the previous, driven by this fast percussion and bassline, making for a genuinely solid exercise track of all things (I say from experience). It’s got a fun little synth solo in the middle, the vocals are pretty solid (aside from like right at the end of the last chorus, holy shit), and the song’s coda and outro are a fun little bit of controlled chaos. I’d put Resistor as one of the better tracks on the album, is what I’m saying.

I’m going to do something I haven’t done in a while when discussing music on this blog- I’m going to jump through a few things. As much as I like this album, the songs aren’t nearly interesting enough to justify a song-by-song breakdown. I think if you listen to Resistor and like it, it’s probably worth chucking on the rest of the album- it is, again, less than half an hour long. But its an album where it’s more valuable on a meta level than it is sonically.

Shinjuku Mad as an album feels a lot like a hybrid between older IDM trends and the synth/vaporwave elements that would become popularised in the 2010s. There’s also tracks like Inductor, which border on rock songs with the power behind that bassline and percussion- in general much of the instrumentation is cleaner than you’d expect from an artist like this, especially considering how muddied much of the vocals get. There is a real focus on the vocals, which as I’ve discussed is a weakness of the album, but I do think it’s possible to look past that issue. There’s some really fun synth lines, some excellent percussion, and real aesthetic. Songs like Human Wave Attack feel stark and lonely, notes echoing into the void, which ironically is not at all like Track 4, Void- with synths and vocals disguising a guitar and drum line that feels extremely garage band. As in, the concept, not the program. Singularity is a song that feels again predictive of Blank Banshee’s future work, a low, slow synth track reminiscent of BB songs like Hyper Object or Metamaterial.

There are some genuine gems on here in addition to Resistor, though. City of No Tomorrow, the eighth song, has got to be one of my favourites- somehow, despite featuring none of the instrumentation typical of the genre, it’s extremely cyberpunk, a sense of struggle and futility resonant through the track. It’s the one song on the album I listen to regularly, getting myself lost in the groove of the bass and tapping my foot along to the percussion. It’s just really good, man.

If this isn’t your first time encountering Shinjuku Mad, reading this might cause you to go back and have another listen, upon which you may notice a few somethings missing. I don’t expect that to be the case for literally anyone reading this…but I needed a segue. This is because, upon the reintegration of Shinjuku Mad and its predecessor Organic Thoughts from the Synthetic Mind into Hologram Bay’s catalogue for the 2019 reissue, two songs were cut, likely for fears of legal issues regarding sampling. The version of this album that I remember has those tracks!

Those songs are Negatives (formerly track 6) and Neon Exodus (formerly track 12). Negatives is another one that’d show up as a Blank Banshee track (in this case, Gunshots), and is actually really solid? Like it integrates a raid siren into the instrumentation without having it sound weird, out of place, or, well, alarming. Neon Exodus is…wow I just don’t know this track at all. It’s fuckin aesthetic though. Welcome to this spontaneous live-reaction, I guess. I recognize the sample this is built around (and thereby why it isn’t on the album anymore) but I cannot name it for the life of me. It’s, uh, interesting. I dunno, 6.5/10?

Anyway, part of the reason I bring this up is that before I want to close this out I have some complaining to do. Said 2019 reissue was something I tracked at the time, and noticed both SM albums were releasing on Vinyl, Cassette (because, you know, nerds), and digitally. But not CD. I threw an email at the website about it, and they did eventually respond (it genuinely took like two months though), but not in the positive. The reissue had no plans to include a CD, unlike all three previous Blank Banshee albums.

But the original 2010 version of the album, along with a few slight differences in songs and in album order, does have a CD release, albeit an extremely limited one, according to Discogs. These CDs have to exist, they’re now listed on the new Shinjuku Mad website. Apparently one sold 6 months ago through Discogs. I need to find a copy, though considering on that site 7 people list it as owned and 72 (including myself) list it as wanted, it’s probably not going to happen.

And that, ultimately, is Shinjuku Mad. It’s a very odd piece of history as far as vaporwave goes, considering it’s both a prototype and also something completely, utterly different. The album is pretty decent on its own, but not mindblowing, and something you could probably live without. There are like two tracks (three if you include Negatives) that are 100% worth it, but the rest are skippable. Which is a shame, but mediocre music has to exist somewhere, right?

That I apparently haven’t discussed Blank Banshee on this blog before (aside from when I was talking about Vaperror) is actually kind of shocking. I suppose, then, that there might be some lacking context. I probably will have to do that at some point, though I probably won’t do BB0 because I like picking the hipster options- so either BB1 or MEGA. Metamorphosis didn’t really pique my interest, and I somehow missed GAIA existing in the first place and still haven’t listened to it. So if you’re interested in seeing me ramble over some of that, I’ll see you then. I mean, it’ll still happen if you aren’t interested, but nobody’s going to make you read it.

Or am I…?

#ramble #music #electronica #vaporwave #vapourwave #shinjuku mad

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raindropsbarzy · 4 years

Text

hooked with u - tyler seguin pt.1

summary: two friends being eachothers fuck buddies and at the end, of them wants more than that

word count: 2083

warning: alcohol, weed (lol), vulgar language, mentions of sex

a/n: just a heads up, on this piece i’m writing for non white girls. specifically brown girls. and i might start doing it with my other writings too. i was inspired by numbers of gorgeous woc in my instagram lol so i thought, why not? okay, enjoy!

playlist to add the sexual tension

Tyler is throwing a party at his place tonight after his team encouraged him to do it before the playoffs next week. And him, being the party animal that he is couldn’t resist that. So he took care of everything a few hours before the party, invited a few friends and now here they are.

He’s now leaning against the fridge and watching you from across the room with a small smile attached to his face. Not paying any attention to what his friends are saying at the moment.

You’re talking with a few of the team's girlfriends, looking as pretty as ever. Dressed in a simple black tight-fitting calf-length dress with a slit on the right that stops on your mid-thigh. Giving him a great view of your soft leg. Trade your usual air force 1 sneakers for a pair of silver heels and let your long dark hair fall back instead of putting it into a bun or a ponytail like you always do. His eyes trail up and down your body over and over, even stopping to stare at your full breasts longingly because honestly, that dress is doing a great job at complimenting your chest.

His heart swells when he sees you with his signature ‘TS’ snapback on your head. He does notice that you may have taken an interest in that specific material and loves to steal it but he doesn’t care. if others did it, he’d probably have a problem with it (even if it’s his sister) but he let it slide cause it’s you.

“You have been staring at her for God knows how long and it’s getting pretty disgusting so stop eye-fucking Y/N and talk to us.” Jamie interrupts Tyler’s daydream about you, making the others laugh in agreement,

Tyler shakes his head but a soft smile remains on his face, bringing the cold beer to his lips before taking a few gulps. “Fuck off, Benn.”

“Are you two dating or something? I mean, I’ve been watching the two of you for months now and you two sure are flirty as hell.” Bishop adds, knitting his eyebrows in curiosity,

He can only give him a shrug as his eyes stay fixated on you. Watching you throw your head back with a laugh, making his grin grow wider. “Nothing is going on between us.”

“Yeah yeah sure, not buying that bullshit.” Jamie snickers, nudging Bishop’s stomach with his elbow as if asking him if he agreed. “I mean I don’t blame you, she’s pretty hot. Wouldn’t mind getting a bit closer with her, if you know what i mean”

Tyler’s quick to crane his neck and stare at his friend, a deep frown forming on his forehead. “Don’t get any fucking ideas”

His tone is heavy and aggressive, not to mention possessive. His hand grips tightly around the bottle as the thought of Benn’s wanting to have you is making his blood boil. He may be his best friend, but when it comes to you, he doesn’t play around.

Jamie laughs, clapping his hand on Tyler’s shoulder. “I’m just messing with you, man. Well except the ‘she’s hot’ part because she is.” And Tyler is about to open his mouth to tell him to ‘back off’ but Jamie cuts him off. “But you know i wouldn’t do that, i’m your -- Jesus, stop glaring at me like that man, I’ll back off” Benn chuckles, shaking his head in disbelief at how protective he is of you (even though he isn’t your boyfriend).

“Yeah yeah,” Tyler waves him off, turning his gaze back on you. Winking as he sees you turn around and meet his eyes, seeing you giggle at him. As a response, you form your lips into a pout and give him an air kiss, accompanied by the ‘mwah’ sound just to be playful with him.

He chuckles, waving his hand at you before you turn your attention back to the girls. Leaving him only to stare at you again with a lovey-dovey smile.

“Christ, you’re whipped.” Bishop puffs out a breath, seemingly cannot believe that his friend is that hooked with you. And he doesn’t even know why (because he can’t tell what is going on with the two of you). “You never do this with other girls.”

“Of course i don’t. I don’t know them like i know Y/N.” Tyler defends, looking at his friend before sipping on his beer. “They’re just casual fucks.”

“How about Kate then?”

He groans internally, shooting daggers at Jamie who has his hands up in surrender. “That’s a long time ago, you sure you wanna bring that shit up?”

“All I’m saying is that you didn’t even look at Kate like you did to her,” He says as a matter of factly, pointing at the long-haired woman from across the room. “You’re definitely in love.”

Rolling his eyes, he shakes his head. “No, I'm not. We’re just friends. And yeah maybe i like to stare at her at most times but--”

“All the time” Bishop chimes,

He shoots a glare to his friend’s way before continuing, “But nothing is happening between us. Dude, she’s pretty as fuck. Catches me off guard sometimes and yeah sounds creepy if i said i like to stare at her all-time but can you blame me?” He defends, gesturing to you with his hand. He probably shouldn’t be straight forward and be too honest about giving you compliments right now but he blames it on the beers and couple of shots he took earlier.

The two men snort and laugh, exchanging glances with each other that says ‘are you seeing this?’ look on both of his eyes.

“Okay man, we get your point.”

Tyler relaxes, looking back at you again and he honestly can’t help himself. The way your dress is hugging your body perfectly, especially your backside and deep red lipstick you have on are doing things to him right now.

“Alright, i’ll talk to you guys later. Don’t destroy anything.” He says, putting down the empty beer bottle and starts walking over to your place without waiting to hear his friend's response.

He bites onto his lower lip as he gets closer, your eyes turn to him when you see him coming towards you. Smiling widely when his broad body softly pressing against your side.

“Ladies, mind if i steal this pretty lady for a while?” He asks, looking over at them while cocking his eyebrows.

They all smirk as if knowing what is gonna happen. “Of course, play safe kids.” The blonde-haired one wink at you before dragging the other girls away.

You chuckle softly at her, feeling Tyler’s hand around your waist as he guides you to his granite counter, leaning your back against it.

“Hi, Tyler” You smile at him, taking a couple sips of your alcohol beverage,

“Hello, sweetheart” He grins, keeping a firm grip on your waist as he stares at you intently. “You look so fucking beautiful tonight.”

Giggling, you try to cover your cheek so he can’t see you blush. “Thank you and you don’t look too bad yourself.”

You give him a once over, clad in a plain black tee that shows off a good amount of his tattoo sleeves. This is one of the things you find so sexy about him, he makes them so attractive without coming off wack. You like to trace your fingers across them.

“And I see you got my cap on, a sneaky little thing. I was looking for it this morning” He playfully scolds you,

You giggle again, poking out your tongue. “You know it’s my favorite thing of yours” turning the cap around on your head so it won’t block your vision

He arches a brow, pulling you a bit closer to him. “Really? I thought you said it’s my dick?”

Gasping in surprise, you smack him on the chest, causing him to release a loud laugh. “Don’t ruin the moment, Seguin”

“What moment are you speaking of?”

“Just doing this” You gesture with your finger, setting one of your palms on the table to keep you steady as the other grip on his shoulder “I really like being close with you.”

“I like it too. You’re driving me crazy you know that? Got the boys teasing me and shit because of that.” He murmurs, running his hand tenderly across your soft cheek in which you lean against it. “God, what is it from you that gets me like this, hm?”

Smiling at him, you shrug innocently. “I’m just very very convincing and alluring. That gets the men to keep falling on their knees as soon as I step into the room. Also, black magic. Did you know that I use that on you too?”

He chuckles at your return, obviously joking because he knows you like to add sarcasm to everything you say. That’s one of the reasons he likes you.

“Hmm” He smiles tenderly at you, unaware of the looks he’s getting from Benn and Bishop as they watch the two. “Anyway, why did you straightened your hair tonight? Not that i have any problem with it. But you said to me you’re laying off the heat though.”

“Wanna look extra extra pretty tonight for you. it was exhausted though, considering on how long my hair is” You laugh, finally taking off the cap and putting it on him as you run your hand through your locks. “Do i look pretty?” Batting your lashes at him.

“Stop playing baby, you know i always think you do” he leans a bit forward and peck your forehead. “And sexy as fuck too, Jesus. Why didn’t you wear this dress often around me?” He stares down at your dress.

“Because you prefer me naked around you.” You say in an obvious tone, seeing his eyes close and breathe out a laugh.

“True. You do look sexy when you’re naked though.” He states in a soft voice, his hand goes down to rest it against your plump ass giving it a squeeze. “Especially when i eat you out.”

“Easy tiger” You chuckle but secretly loves it when Tyler gets blunt with you in public. “You can have me later” you promise,

He groans, pouting at you. Resisting to give him a kiss on the lips. “When is later? I’m getting impatient baby.” Tugging you closer so your chest is pressing against his and he sneaks a glance down there. “And your tits are making it even harder for me.”

Throwing your head back, you laugh at his behaviour. “You have a party to host, you know? You’re being irresponsible if you want to leave just so we can fuck.”

“I don’t care, i want you right now. You’re making my dick hard the minute you stepped into the room. Don’t blame me for it.” He reasons, pressing his forehead against yours. “What do you say, baby?”

You tilt your head to the side, smiling up at him as you chew on your lip. Feeling yourself getting wet now that he’s looking at you like that. His eyes moving to your lips for a moment before looking back up.

“Want to taste your sweet pussy” He whispers hotly against your ear causing you to shiver, “You bouncing on my cock as you scream out my name” he continues,

You suddenly let out a soft moan, not realizing him smirking against your cheek. “You want that, hm? Get high while we fuck too, maybe?”

Nodding your head as you let out a hum, squeezing tightly on his shoulders as a sign for him to take you upstairs now. “Yes, please, Daddy”

Soon as the name slips out of your mouth. He’s a fucking goner. Body freezes and eyes turn into lust as he slowly retreats to get a good look at you. Your gaze saying that you are pleading at him so desperately for it.

“Want you to fuck me. I need it, i’m getting wet for you”

His jaw clenches as he looks around, making sure no one is watching. Good thing, the people in here are too busy talking with each other, being drunk and dancing to Biggie’s ‘Big Poppa’. Mostly his friends because they are the ones he needs to look out for.

He looks back at you as your lips turn into a pout

“Mhmm, don’t worry. i’m gonna fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk the next morning princess”

(next is dirty shit yall dont worry)

#tyler seguin #tyler seguin x reader #tyler seguin fic #tyler seguin imagine #tyler seguin oneshot #tyler seguin x you #dallas stars #dallas stars imagines #nhl #nhl imagine #nhl oneshot #hockey

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heckinhacker · 4 years

Note

Heyy may i request bff headcanons for Kyle, Cartman, Craig & Tweek? If that’s too much characters, then just Kyle please :)

Kyle, Cartman, Craig and Tweek - Best Friends Forever headcanons!

A/N: Honestly, south park is rare on this blog so no, no problem at all! Wanted to write it sooner but writer’s block T~T’

Rest is under the cut cuz it might get long-

Kyle Broflovski

As I always say, South Park is a shithole and finding some REAL friends might be hard.

Kyle sometimes doubts his own existence, or everyone else’s. Literally. That’s how bizzare things are happening here.

He cannot trust anybody, maybe Stan only. But sometimes he doubts him too. (Brutal truth)

So seeing someone honestly concerned about him, and being stubborn at it, would make him soften up pretty quickly.

As long as you’re not a Cartman, you’re fine.

Maybe he didn’t start right off bat to spill his secrets out, but he invited you to hang outs more often when he realised you’re fine.

The most of trust he shows when he invites you over his place. Without anyone else. Just you two.

Nothing over-friendly line, you just laugh at stupid youtube videos, share some memes, tell some stories you somewhere read or heard. Friend things.

If you prefer to stay inside, say goodbye to the comfort of your room. Kyle LOVES long walks, and he forces you to go with him. “It’s more healthy than ‘taking a walk’ simulator, [Y/N]!”.

Long walks - long talks.

Kyle never shuts up. No matter what. You know something’s wrong when he does.

Kyle realised you’re his BESTIE FOR LIFE when Hanukkah was hitting close in the calendar. That time of the year he talks to noone since everyone celebrates Christmas.

But you? You, beside spending time with family, decided to gain some knowledge about Hanukkah.

You searched in the internet, asked Kyle’s parents, you just tried your best. And decided to surprise your best friend with Hanukkah gifts. Well, if you’re at it, you should get something for his parents and Ike too.

Your pocket money cried fo mercy, but you had none.

Everyone expected your arrival but Kyle.

And boy, was he emotional?? He had TEARS in his eyes. But he’d never addmit that.

After that he’s loyal to you as FUCK.

Anyone picks a fight with you? No need to strain your arms, Kyle is already at it.

Someone made you sad? Emotional support Kyle right away.

Cartman always teases you that you love yourselves so much you should date!

But you’re both comfortable with things the way they are now.

Eric Cartman

From this four? The easiest one to befriend.

Noone really stays around enough to get to know the deepest of him for him to call someone best friend.

But here you are.

Cartman is not very secretive when he likes someone. He just brags and brags about himself and his most private things. Just because he’s that egocentric.

Not the best of friend material, really? His advices are shitty, mostly he’s the reason you’re sad or hurting, but you just stay beside him anyway, God knows why but he doesn’t.

When he’s NOT the reason you want to cry, you can sit beside him and cry yourself out, he’d let you lean on his shoulder. Maybe he’d be silent, but he’d hear you out.

If that’s what you want, he’s more than enough.

Please don’t be chaotic duo with him one Cartman in South Park is enough.

BUT if you’re as rude as him, South Park is done with you two. You’re inseparable.

Miss Cartman loves you as much as her own child, she’s just so grateful someone takes care of her Eric and is not here only for...any other reason.

You’re the only one person that Cartman knows that when picks on him and laughs at him, it’s for jokes, never for reals.

That’s why he’s the most comfortable with you, to be honest.

Too lazy for walks, but will go out when he has some bigger purpose than just wandering around, doing nothing.

Craig Tucker

Almost the hardest to befriend. He’d be the most difficult, but we have Tweek on the list.

Feels bad.

Noone had any clue WHY are you trying so hard. Even his group sometimes have hard time figuring Craig out.

He was very cold to you at first.

He was worried you’d put him through some weird shit, like main four did. And he’d hate that.

If you want to befriend him, you have to get trust of Token. At least.

Don’t start with Clyde, Clyde likes everyone (almost), so you’d be nothing new, Craig will still ignore you.

When Token, on the other hand, says you’re cool, you have to be. Craig would groan, but would try ot hang out with you normally. Well, as normal as he can.

You knew he acts somehow different, so you held into that thought, trying to get to know him even further.

“Why are you trying so hard?” - he’d once ask you when you stayed behind, when Craig was packing his things the slowest. You were alone.

“ Well, you’re always beside people, but you still look alone. That looks like it hurts, so I want to help to stop it.”

“Weird.” he just answered and started walking out of classroom, you beside him.

Well you weren’t wrong? He bottled his emotions inside, with noone to know about that. Even himself.

“He’s just like that”, they’d say.

Maybe he is, but he still has to have some kind of emotions, right? He’s a human being, after all.

Maybe his emotional needs are not as big as for others, but they do, indeed, exist.

Best advice giver. Plus he can help you out of panic attack. He’s REALLY good at it. He’s best friends with Tweek after all.

If you make him actually more than tolerate you, trust me you’re safe and sound with this dude.

Rely on Craig Tucker.

He’s a ‘stay inside’ type of dude too. Watch some things together in silence, talk a little but not too much, just...vibing together.

Unlike Tweek, he’s okay to go outside though. To take some photos maybe, take in fresh air.

Pro tip: never make small talks with him. He hates them.

Tweek Tweak

my absolute favouritest boi

The hardest to befriend out of everyone. Literally.

He has big, BIG trust issues.

Don’t force him into anything. Seriously.

Small steps. Baby steps, even.

Try to hang around him in Tweek Bro’s. Or at school where others are at.

Never try to be with him alone at the beggining. Dude will freak out.

He generally freaks out when he notices you being around him most of the time.

“Y-you having any problem?? I’ve got an eye on you, you won’t kidnap me! My friends already know who to suspect when I’m-!”

“Tweek.”

“Wh-What?!”

“I don’t want to kidnap you, man. I just want to see how you’re doing.

“...oh.”

Still doesn’t trusts you, but relaxes. You’re in public place, after all. Many other people would see if you’d plan something on him.

It takes a shitton of time for him to warm up to you. You see every single sign of him trusting you.

Inviting you to hangouts with friends? Small step.

Asking if you’d come when he’s working? Even bigger step.

Damn, noone’s here beside you? He invited only you? Friendship points!!

You know he considers you as a friend when he invites you over to his house. He never did that. When he asks if you want to come, you almost cry.

You took your time and got sweetest boy as a friend.

He notices the smallest changes in you, so when you’re feeling down by even slightest, he’d point that out.

Advices are almost pointless, he cannot help himself, so helping others is even worse, but he tries to act like Craig acts when you open up to him.

It’s so noticable you smile right away. Tweek tries his best.

He sometimes gives you free coffee. “It’s on me”, he says. He’s scared of what will his dad say, but you can count it as a payment. He doesn’t get paid for three people’s work on his shoulders, so he has rights to do what he wants.

Prefers to stay inside.

Big events and parties are a big no-no.

He can force himself into big event happening somewhere close to South Park, but parties are NEVER an option.

I’ll just mention, but boy do I hate Tweek’s surrname?? It feels like he’s a joke but he’s so important to so many people it’s sad-

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