#i cant decide which one i like better so im posting both

[terror-in-the-dream]

Vamp

[shikisei]

[milgram-tournament]

MILGRAM Best Song Tournament, Round 1, Match 6 ALL KNOWING AND ALL AGONY vs. TEAR DROP

Propaganda for both options under the cut!

Propaganda for AKAA:

"AKAA is wonderful song with such bitter irony, bc that doesn't look like song someone who was voted inno… And we know more about Haruka! we see his mother! AND "MAKE MY DREAMU COME TRUE"??? NO I AM NOT CRYING YOU ARE CRYING (also I should say this is first song i heard and I love AKAA so, so much <3 let's do it <3)"

---

1. It establishes so much of Haruka's character and backstory that was omitted from Weakness!! It helps shape Haruka's character so much and really helped with voting.

2.THE VOCALS OH MY GOD. This song really lets the voice of Haruka's VA shine!! It has some really nice growls but also has that soft part in the bridge!!

Overall it's just really good I love Haruka Sakurai

---

Propaganda for AKAA:

Definitely one of the most hype songs from T2

The vocals are Banging

Absolutely love the taxidermy symbolism

Haruka is a sad little puppy

Everyone stand for the Mommy Issues Athem 🫡

Propaganda for TEAR DROP:

"yuno kashiki enthusiast here anyways tear drop propaganda WE BALL

let's start off with the lyrics! holy fuck, i'm so glad yuno finally got to say what she's wanted to say!!

and she fully shows the fact that she does compensated dating through the lyrics ("the wanted wanting the wanted")

and even if it sounds like she's scolding the audience for the song, she's also scolding her clients! they only perceive her as a certain type of character and deciding that's all she is. She's upset that we decided based on how "naïve" she looked instead of her actual crime (to be honest, I could write a whole analysis into why her murder is perfect for her character anywa) and she doesn't care what will happen to her, she needs her opinions heard

also kinda rap section?? banger fr

THE VISUALS!! GOOD LORD THE VISUALS!!! THEY ARE SO BANGER!!! they're really pretty and gosh i literally don't know what to say, the scene where vampire is in the background and it transitions to yuno sitting on her bed... the pink tinted glasses (YES FUCK I LOVE THAT MAN!!!!) THE COAT!! THOSE INBETWREN SCENES i'm obbing

AND THE INSTRUMENTAL!! PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU ALL LISTEN TO THE INSTRUMRNTAL OF HER SONG THERES SO MANY SMALL DETAILS!! SIRENS, TEAR DROPS RAHHH THE CLAPS/CLICKING TJE TECHNO PIANO GUITAR??? THE INSTRIMENTS I CANT NAME I THINK THEY ALL HAVE SOME READON OF BEING IN THE SONG AND I WILL FIND OUT IN AN ANAKYSIS POST I JUDT LOVE IT AUEUEU

literally tear drop is the banger ever i listen to this shit religiously thank you for listening to my tear drop propaganda"

---

-Yuno’s voice. Enough said. -The imagery in the MV is brilliantly used, and doesn’t shy away from the horrors of Yuno’s line of work. -Vampire cameo!!! -Almost Lo-Fi vibes to the instrumental?? I can’t really explain it but it’s a vibe and I’m 100% here for it,

---

"For teardrop: The pink aesthetic in the MV as a whole makes it super nice to look at :D"

[aquaquadrant]

I was wondering if you had an estimated date of when you will post the next HTP chapter?

Like, leaving us on such a cliffhanger must be a crime! It cant be legal!

Anyways, while I wait for it, Ive decided to copy paste every chapter into a doc and mark it up color code style for all my over analyzing needs. It took me an hour but it was worth it.

Have a good week and take care :)

(This is meant to be genuine, not mean or passive aggressive, just so you know. While I indeed am anxiously awaiting Chapter 10 by highlighting the chapters on a doc like that one photo of a bible page that’s highlighted with different colors. This isn’t meant to be mean or pressuring, take your time and take care of yourself)

⬆️(Ah poo, Im an over thinker

hey there, no worries y’all- i love seeing my reader’s enthusiasm and it’s reassuring to see continued interest in the series. i’d been hoping to have BOTH of the final ‘from eden’ chapters done before summer. but i have to admit, progress on the next chapter hasn’t been as forthcoming as i’d expected, for a couple reasons.

the first is health-related. not to be too TMI, but i recently got diagnosed with crohn’s disease. my symptoms started ages ago but have really ramped up in the last couple months, and the diagnosis was a lengthy and involved process (started the hunt back in november, presumptively diagnosed after a colonoscopy in feb, definitively diagnosed when biopsies came back over spring break) and even when i was simply waiting for results, it occupied a lot of my mental capacity. and ofc it happened to line up with me turning 26 and needing new insurance, which has caused lots of delays. anyone dealing with the american health care system while chronically ill will tell you it’s a frustrating, exhausting process. as of right now, i’m still waiting to start treatment 🫠

but honestly, even more than that, the biggest thing stopping me from writing is… me? 😂 so there’s this thing that happens after i post a chapter that’s like… decision paralysis? except it’s just that sometimes, i literally can’t bring myself to start the next chapter. it’s like, i have this unfounded fear that all my writing up until this point has been some magical fluke out of my control, and i’m not capable of ‘pulling it off’ again. i guess you could call it a form of imposter syndrome (which i already encounter enough in my vet school life). it gets worse after posting something that was a particularly massive undertaking or was insanely well-received bc i’m scared i won’t be able to top it- even though the impact of storytelling is supposed to be cohesive, and it’s unrealistic for every chapter to be ‘bigger and better’ (what does that even mean?) than the last one because they serve different purposes at different points in the story. i know this, rationally, but that doesn’t stop the irrational fear of failure from making me avoid writing.

i’m not sharing this to make excuses or garner sympathy, or fish for compliments, and certainly not to make anyone feel guilty for asking about updates. i just feel like maybe this will resonate with anyone who has the same experience. and also to share hope, because despite how often this feeling rears its ugly head, i’ve still been able to push through and get back to writing- and i’m always very happy with the result. sometimes it just takes longer than i’d like (pro tip: writing on ur phone is less intimidating, tho it’s more of a pain). but in any case, the next chapter of ‘from eden’ is well underway and i still hope to have the series done before summer’s end^^

[the-bjd-community-confess]

I joined the hobby with my sister in early 2003. We both got our first dolls at the same time but I hated my doll (she arrived blank) and I decided to not join the hobby because I hated the doll so much. My sister stayed active, but passed away in 2016, in which I got my first doll back when they were passing the inheritance and arranging everything. That was my reintroduction into the doll hobby, to connect with my sister in a way.

Enjoyed making friends with people in the community, generally found the community peaceful and positive. I liked playing and taking pictures of my dolls and was interested in trying OC and the biographies people posted because it looked fun.

in 2022 the rest of my family passed away in a car crash. Its been difficult for me to accept this and I keep going into states of "if this" or "if that", and I tried to connect to the hobby but I couldnt escape reality. It didnt help that my fathers side of the family were relentlessly trying to put a conservatorship on me, have me put in a mental hospital and seize control of me, my assets and finances forcing me to go to a psychiatrist and take medication just so I can have freedom and avoid them.

I decide to try and cheer myself by going to a doll event on holiday and get a chance on a doll that is coveted by a niche in the community, as in limited to a few dolls a year that you can only get in person in a certain location on certain dates by a lottery. This is a doll Ive been obsessed with getting, having won two YJA auctions for her (you arent supposed to buy them secondhand or sell them), only to have the sellers always refund the proxy. I won this doll, on my first lottery entry and I feel nothing.

I met two people and one was extremely kind, and the other that I thought I had a connection with was just disappointing to meet in person. Gossiping about people the whole time, including the person that was also there with us, always talking about why they were better than so and so because they did x. Talked about entering the lottery many times but always losing and not to get my hopes up because they dont pick nonresident foreigners. She also suggested I bring in someone to increase my chances, but I said I wanted to play fair and she shocked me when she said good answer; like it was a trick suggestion or she was waiting for an aha moment.

The pure anger on her face when I was called the winner, and then the comment about them picking the lottery winner like I was supposed to feel bad that I was picked instead of randomly chosen was weird to me. I just brushed it off as me being paranoid. Its not jealousy of the doll, but I think anger that they picked someone she saw as unworthy (me). She even called me a whale, but I just ignored the comment because I know Im not even remotely chubby back then.

Then she said something about how maybe this was the universe giving me a present because my whole family passed away a few months ago (at that time). This was the first time I told someone in the hobby about my familys passing and I felt completely emptied? deflated? by the comment. They may have not meant it to be negative, but I felt repulsed. TBH, I havent even taken the doll out of the box since getting her because I keep remembering that comment made. They probably didnt mean much, but it stuck to me. I cant even look at the doll's box without feeling sick. I just remembered this because its been a year + and I saw someone being annoyed that a oneoff winner didnt post an opening even though its been a few months, and now I feel worse because its been a year of her in the box.I was just waiting until I felt happy again so I can at least have the box opening be special. I dont know what to do because that comment; the universe giving me a doll in return of my whole family dying? I cant disassociate it and I wish I never met that person because I feel like it has made the doll hobby unenjoyable to me, but I also know its unreasonable to think this way because Ive met so many that are so nice and kind. I think Im reading into the comment more than its worth. I honestly feel pathetic for letting it affect me this much.

Sorry for writing all of this. I just wanted to get it out of my chest so I can maybe get back to normal. My friends dont like listening to this, because Im a man and am supposed to be more mature, and I also dont like holding on to anger, and I dont usually do, but I feel angry and sad all the time, when I know I should be grateful because I have a lot of blessings. Some might know who I am, and I hope they dont take it as a sign of me needing help, and more of just me venting if they read all of this, that my disinterest in a lot of things isnt them, its just Im not back to normal and I want to be.

~Anonymous

Mod: I'm so sorry anon, you've been through so much. 💗

This person sounds insecure and jealous and imo you should dismiss everything they said to you, it was not coming from a good place. You deserve to have joy and happiness in your life.

[mylarena]

hey i was writing a whole post/drabble type thing abt it (as i do) but i havent worked on it in a bit.

anyways. soap who can cook very well but cannot bake, and ghost who can bake very well but cannot cook.

the scenario is soap trying to bake for his ma or something but he keeps burning it to hell and ghost, a neighbor in the apartment building, is sick and tired of all the fucking noise soap is making at 4 in the fucking morning. so one day when theres a particularly loud ruckus and theres a fucking smoke alarm going off, he decides that hes going to put a fucking end to it. so he gets up, stalks his way to soaps door, and knocks.

when soap opens the door smoke floods out and he looks bedraggled and covered in flour. ghost, unprepared for this particular scenario, just stares at him for a second.

"kin ah fuckin' help ye?"

"..."

"look, if ye don't have-"

and ghost just points behind him where something has visibly caught on fire in the kitchen.

"your kitchen is on fire."

"AH SHITE-"

and soap proceeds to rush to the kitchen. and ghost fidgets for a second but then the fire fucking flares and hes kicked into Fucking Fix This mode and very efficiently and quickly puts out the fire. he also takes the muffins out of the oven. theyre both charred and still liquid in the middle, which hes not entirely sure is physically possible.

soap thanks him but ghost just fucking. goes "stop being so fuckin loud."

and soap just

"im baking!"

"baking?"

"aye, the muffins!"

"those arent fucking muffins, mate. those arent even fucking edible."

and soap flips his shit and eventually it ends up with him saying 'you do better, then!' and ghost is like. i dont have to prove shit to you. which soap immediately takes as him being a coward about it.

after arguing for a bit, ghost leaves. and goes back home. and he reeks of smoke.

so he tries to wash the smell away, gets ready for work, and goes about his day. but he cant get that stupid fucking scot off his mind. and his dumb challenge. so he finally gives in and makes some fucking muffins and sets them on a plate im front of soaps door with a note that just has a little skull doodle on it or smth. and the next night theres another racket and ghost gets up and goes back to soaps place to find him in a similar situation to before except this time hes covered in batter.

ghost is like. what the FUCK are you even doing???

and soap says he was inspired to try making muffins again. he doesnt say it was because of ghosts bomb ass muffins and ghost doesnt realize it either but that's what it was.

this continues for a few more times until soap demands he teach him how to bake and ghost refuses.

but he gives in after soap actually fucking burns his arm pretty badly and he had to treat his arm.

ghost decides that soap is too fucking dangerous to be left alone to bake by himself. so he says he'll teach him but he Has to listen to all his instructions and cant fuck around.

soap agrees.

but soap is also a horrible student. he gets too distracted listening to ghosts voice instead of listening to what hes actually saying.

eventually after several sessions soap makes something edible. and hes fucking ecstatic. ghost is proud of him but he doesnt say that, just something about them not sending him to the ER. but soap can see it in his eyes and the slight crinkle by his eyes, knowing hes smiling at least a bit underneath that facemask he always wears.

at some point ghost wakes up and opens his door and sitting in front of it is the same plate he gave to soap, with homemade muffins sitting on it once again. the note on the page has a smiley face and a little soap bar doodled on it. ghost eats the muffins and theyre probably someone the best hes eaten- not for the taste, but for the fact that theyre made by johnny.

btw at some point soap finds out that ghost has been living on ramen and takeout for all of his life and that he cant fucking cook. so he starts teaching him how.

[caramelstarlight]

HIYA!! I saw that you'd requests open and that you love Tighnari, and I love Tighnari too! So I just wanted to request you to write a Tighnari story with hurt/comfort. Idk if you've heard of that one tik tok audio where the guy tells his wife that the girl he's cheating on her with is exactlylike her and when his wife asks him why it couldn'thave been her he says "Cuz she'ssofrer than you. She's kinder. She doesn'tyell at me and make me small." or smth along those lines. But like imagine that, but your ex partner is saying that, and Tighnari, who was your best friend (who was low-key in love with you but never said anything because you were happy with your ex), overhearing your now ex saying that to you. And he can almost hear your heart shattering cuz reader has always been loud, talkative, bossy, and sarcastic, so he couldn't imagine the amount of hurt they must've felt cuz hearing that from someone's gotta hurt like he'll :( And he sees you walk away looking down defeated and sad and decided to follow you to comfort you

Anyways, that's it! I hope you're doing well and you don't have to do the request if you don't want to. Just thought I'd dump my thoughts here :P

I keep forgetting to post these after I’m done. (I put it on save to draft and forget to post it when I’m done-) Started playing HSR again. (My sister has 6 five stars help. Hoyo hates me I have never won a 50/50)

(Yay yippie story) (below)

Comfort after Heartbreak

Tighnari x Reader (Hurt/Comfort) (Also you get a bit of revenge lol.) (And yay happy ending. IM SO EXCITED FOR FONTAINEE I CANT WAIT. I LOVE LYNEY. I LOVE MAGICIANSS HES MONOPRYO THO AUGGHHH.

I have gotten all waypoints beside one and I know what it is but can’t get to it 😭

“You’re cheating on me…-?” You asked him as your eyes started to let loose tears with your heart shattering. “She treats me better than you. She’s kinder and doesn’t yell at me.”

“Fine-…” You said as you lowered your head and covered your face away from him. Staying like that for a few moments before slapping him hard on the face. Walking away with ur hands closed into fists, trying to ignore the pain as your body trembled.

Tighnari managed to hear the conversation you both had. As you walked away he tapped your shoulder as your peered over. Asking if you were okay. “I’m fine Nari- it’s just… it’s ju- just a heartbreak. I’ll get through it.” You said as you tried to push him away.

“No you’re not.” He stated as his grip on your arm tighten. Grabbing your attention again. “I think you would appreciate a hug right?” You nodded as you turned around and hugged him. Which he embraced as his ears lowered and slightly wagged his tail.

“You deserve better…” He stated as he heard your sniffles. Trying to comfort you as he starred at the direction you came from. Looking for your ex. Seeing he wasn’t nearby he focused on you again.

“I can’t believe him. Don’t listen to what he said. You’re unique.” He said as you looked up to him. Wiping the tears away from your eyes as he smiled softly.

“If he doesn’t love you, don’t worry. There’s someone else who does.” He said as he hoped you would get the hint which you didn’t as you were still sad. But you nodded your head before giving it some thought. “Wait- You-?” You’d ask him as he nodded. “Are you sure-?” You asked him. “Of course, why would I have said my earlier statement?” Earning a laugh out of him.

“But are you ready for another relationship? You just got out of one. I don’t want to push you out of your comfort zone.” He said as he caressed your hand as he waited for an answer.

“if it’s with you, I’m willing to try.” You said with confidence as your grip on his hand tightened slightly.

[starkkawajiri]

im feeling better and i had a brilliant brilliant genius idea scoob. (EXPLANATION BELOW)

okay class what was the author trying to say

fatui harbinger au. SHOCKED EMOJI

sub-au. an AU of an AU (marvel impact) because three things happened to cross paths in my big empty mind:

1. "man i would love an evil stephen au"

2. "man i need to draw genshin mordo"

and 3. "i love the harbingers" and when the idea lit up like a flame in my brain i exploded out of bed

this au consists of the best magic users ever being fatui harbingers (rip traveler) because evil hot and crazy sexy, instead of adding more harbingers they replace already existing ones because one two three enough fatui for me

so basically evil evil magic users au

((before moving on for ppl that do play genshin but dont know much about the fatui harbingers, there's 11 of them and they're ranked based on strength, personally i wouldnt even know how to scale them based on their powers so i didnt touch the ranks, just switched out the characters))

NOW EXPLAINING EACH OF THEM IN ORDER OF THEIR 'RANK' starting with lowkey

Loki is pretty self explanatory, he takes The Tsaritsa's place because cryo archon.... ice...god.....

i was initially planning on making loki take scaramouche's place because i found scara's "YOU'RE INTERRUPTING A CONVERSATION BETWEEN GODS......" dialogue in the sumeru quest so funny and because the idea of loki being a fake-god seemed cool, but her as the cryo archon and overall leader of the fatui was too good to put aside

IMPORTANT NOTE/EDIT: NVM YALL LMFAOOOO I DECIDED (iwas MANIPULATED /j /aimed) TO CHANGE LOKI BACK TO TAKING SCARAMOUCHE'S PLACE there's a lot more things they have in common and it sets an interesting dynamic between him and other characters in this au, including thor ("better version of him"), strange (using loki as a vessel to create a god) etc

Wong's the baddest bitch in this post theres no other explanation

im (half)joking (hes so fine) theres an explanation

it was between that and making him take Il Capitano's place, which would have been Rank 1, and he would have still ranked higher than everyone else (besides Loki) so i looked at their wikis .

The Director (Pierro) handpicked certain Harbingers, two of which being Il Dottore and La Signora (in this au, Strange and Wanda) so that was just the stars aligning for this au

Strange's gotta be even more self-explanatory than Loki's

il dottore. the doctor.

need i say more (no but i will)

i need at least 34084 aus of this man being evil idk i cant control myself

Sufian and Zandik (Dottore) already had a lot in common or parallel in the marvel impact au, both expelled students from the Akademiya, positive/negative relations with the dendro archon, man kissers, insert il dottore wiki

i want him to be scary and feared now and then, is that too much for a man to want from another man (rip eleazar patients)

clea had to be arlecchino/the knave because. because

clea in a suit primary excuse

arlecchino's cool hair secondary excuse

woman kisser back-up excuse

theres little to no explanation here i just sensed it spiritually (arlecchino is the best ily arlecchino) + the theory about arlecchino being half-hilichurl?? or something like that? because of the cool gradient on her skin, which is rlly awesome, so non-human bonus points

need more insane, cold, calculated, manipulative, insane, insane, deceiving, insane women sometimes

mordo he exists hes here save me mordo

im gonna be so fr with you guys rn

pulcinella is just there, i forget he exists often times

only mordo can fix that

after deciding on making Wong the Director, i considered making Mordo take Il Capitano's place or Pantalone's/The Regrator's, but i was really really unsure, he didn't seem to fit either of them and by making him take the Regrator's place I would be putting him in a rank that is wayy too low (9) and considering how little there is about Pulcinella (literally almost nothing), I would have a lot of creative freedom

wanda had to be one of the easiest to sort out....la signora..... alternatively "crimson witch".......? come on they forced my hand atp

im so sorry red bisexual i didnt want you to get such a low rank (8) i had no other choice

la signora is such a badass im tired of pretending shes not (+her Crimson Witch form is amazing)

consumed by grief and anguish, destroying themselves in the process? they twin

fandom theories about their resurrection? they twin

that was it i love being normal about any interest i have . ever

[joelletwo]

(second post) extensively noted im RLY unclear on a lot of endgame gintama. i am disabled and it makes me a bad reader and im irritable abt it and i dont really want anyone to explain things to me on this Specific post lol. im just thinking things thru to myself.

hard to hold a lot of sugi's gayass trauma mental processes in my head all at once. the elisions between destroying the world [math symbol] destroying gintoki who stands in the way of that as a universal constant [math symbol] destroying the political foundations of the country from the inside using connections with the same forces (this guy does NOT understand the larger background plots of gintama and isnt sure if this is correct ->) that in part got his teacher killed and set this whole thing off* [math symbol] destroying himself.

(*side note i think there was a real missed opportunity to bookend all of sugi's political maneuvering which was treated by the plot as. SIGNIFICANT. and extensive. and effective. and one step ahead of all the chars we see pre-utsuro reveals. by revisiting it after the utsuro reveals and coming down on his schemes as either ultimately fruitless and really just getting him in over his head bc he didnt understand the real forces at play OR still effective bc sorachi wanted to retroactively say he and katsura understood all the shadowy background shenanigans. but zura kind of takes over the role of political maneuverer. but worse and stupider.)

(not a WHOLE lot under the cut its just getting unwieldy as a post.)

like if he just wants to kill himself why does he have to take the world down with him (katsura planning a beautiful death seppuku line). if he's doing this out of love for gintoki (canon fact.) why does gintoki need to be broken.

but if i stop trying to untangle what materially he means by all of that then i can understand sugi's actions post-execution as kind of in parallel with my understanding of oboro and utsuro's, which is to say, they are acting on behalf of what they think are universal laws of nature both because they believe in them and also to push the world to the breaking point to test their immutability and prove their fatalistic worldviews right or wrong. [with gintoki as the main tool to do so.]

sugi's inability to reconcile gintoki's decision to save them over sensei bc he cant understand how he'd possibly deserve it + resents gintoki for going against their understood mutual sensei as number one priority + grieves for gintoki having to bear that cross. um. turns into the desire to. destroy the world that made gintoki cry -> gintoki is an unshakeable barrier of protection in front of that world -> prove that the world sucks and isnt worth protecting by making it into sugi's own most pessimistic conceptions of it from childhood that shouyou had started to prove him wrong about -> push gintoki to a point where he will realize that he chose wrong and sugi was meant to die instead

and in parallel. avenge the death of the man who had shown him a better path in life -> throw away the life that man had sacrificed himself to protect -> um if i go down this path i just start rewriting reductionisms' proofs on seppuku and bushido again. waves hand. take the contradictory tragedy as laid out.

like utsuro trying the open mind+open heart gambit for one life and then immediately giving up. and oboro. well oboro is harder to unpack and summarize for me. but he serves utsuro's goals in service of his own goal of. proving rebellion like he and shouyou tried is futile? takes it upon himself to destroy shouyou's legacy to prove it's okay that shouyou-the-concept died. idk a lot of layers going on in oboro its not important to focus on here.

the. making a half-step of progress into a better world that you're having to pioneer and imagine into existence. and then, when u fail under the world's pushback, deciding to undo all that progress with your own hands. and one guy says no, it's still possible, and im going to do it. and you're like. what if i made it as hard as possible so that if u succeed despite that u realize my dearest hopes with IRREFUTABLE proof so that i dont have to face how scary it is to try without knowing if its even possible.

WHIIIIIIIICH. i find all of that incredibly sexy on all of their parts. i enjoy it a lot i like it when humans act out of irrepressible existential fear bc fuck man. living is scary. thats basically the backbone of every gintama antagonist and gintoki [who carries on shouyou's desire to fight and win against his own nature, and thus is himself an antagonist].

whiiiiiiiiiiich. makes it so interesting that these three specifically. other than bansai lol. are the ONLY!!!!!! real casualties of the story conclusion. that gintoki DOES carry thru and realize all their hopes of the world for them by beating them as obstacles. AND they dont get to live and see the fruits of it. but im not prepared to unpack what that means narratively at this point in time.

[enigmaticdiary]

and so i have been thinking thoughts...

elicited from the new trailer. copy and pasted from my discord cause i do all my thinkin there n_n;;

claudia + louis

when i think back to the book and the movie claudia was obviously an extremely important turning point in louis' life but it never felt like she was... the center of it you know? despite the fact that she was that glue that kept louis tethered to anything human in him.

but the book felt like he was just telling his story to be a. Sad pathetic man thing for the sake of it. cause he had no purpose to exist alone. to exist without claudia or lestat (or armand but their dynamic is. different and dicier) but after claudia is killed something about her presence and the years she spent with louis while alive felt... shrugged off in a way? and its likely because she didn't really have much of an identity outside of him and lestat which is understandable because she was significantly more vulnerable in the book than in the show, so she lacked that autonomy to have that choice to exist outside of them.

and when madeleine was brought into the picture for her to get that autonomy it was unfortunately already too late...

~~[mild separation of thoughts because i left to take a shower]~~

theres a few things i want to mention. just thoughts in my head. claudia dies fighting HARD for her autonomy as a person and a vampire. in comparison to louis who in all honesty has (DEBATABLY) lived without a shred of having his own autonomy. with lestat, lestats love (as claudia very smartly puts it) keeps him in a box. louis is financially dependent on him as a black man in the jim crow era once he loses the azalea, hes cut off from his family, he has NO ONE.

the brief time of just him and claudia is a good moment in time for both of them , trying to discover vampiric history together(tho in the show it looks like before they get to paris its gonna be absolute dogshit in comparison to the book), but in louis' case i feel like its guided by guilt and some form of obligation, because if he didnt go with claudia–who was already set to do this traveling alone before lestat dragged her back–where WOULD he have gone? stayed in new orleans with lestat in the dump just waiting to crawl out? i think he would sooner kill himself if he was left alone like that.

with armand…………… loumand is definitely better than loustat in extremely complex ways that i cant put into words right now but simultaneously even worse because of HOW armand preys on louis. there is absolutely love between them and i wont deny it but armand is so INSANELY dependent on the love of others to give meaning to his existence that he leverages louis' weaknesses and frailities to ensure that they will spend an eternity together. like he was plotting from the second he met louis and claudia. he kills claudia and madeleine, which then makes louis kill all the other vampires of the coven, so that there is no one left, NO ONE for louis to be able to turn to for solace.

i think that him remembering what actually happened to him up until the present is so important to him because he'll finally be able to realize that he hasnt been allowed to properly exist for himself the entire duration of him being a vampire. and maybe he can decide what he wants to do, for himself.

devil's minion... (in the present)

[these thoughts are referring to a tweet that wonders if armand is going to end up alone in the end. note: i am not versed in devil's minion lore. i'm getting there but as of this post i have not reached it]

saw this [the tweet] and audibly exclaimed GOOD

i love armand but the guy is genuinely evil and has wronged every single character hes come across including lestat which i find is hard to do

I know ppl are excited for armandaniel and devils minion but Im not..going to lie ive been REALLY skeptical of it and how it would be explored in the context of the show without severely wronging louis and doing him EXTREMELY dirty.

people are allowed to like it in the bubble of the books but theres a really big shift in dynamic for the show in the fact that ... armand has definitely done... Something to daniel and louis, of what i cant say. but with the way that things are going, an ending in which daniel sides with armand after finding out exactly what armand did to louis and claudia in paris does NOT sit well with me?

and i love loumand but I am so uneasy about the inevitable breakup in regards to whats gonna happen AFTER it. I feel like daniel now is wise enough to not chase after a guy who is diabolically selfish and broken and leave louis behind to live out the vampire fantasy dreams of his youth. and in the trailer too im getting. Loudaniel vibes in terms of reconciling their past with the previous interview. And Heres my theory for Devils minion BUT ITS LOUDANIEL INSTEAD OF ARMANDANIEL (1/689)

[jadedharleys]

Do you have any appearance headcanons for HS characters? Such as who are muscular, who are chubby, who are tall, etc.

i have this height chart for the kids that i dont follow super strictly (+ its kinda exaggerated i dont think that jade is THAT tall lmao) but it shows my general headcanons . also the lighting isnt great but oh well. putting all the answers below the cut cause this got long as HELL

john: short, a bit above average build. light skinned but slightly tanned+freckled, more so during the summer. my headcanons for everyones eyes is that theyre like a believable shade close to their canon colors, but when they either enter the medium or godtier, i cant decide but i lean towards medium, they change to their canon bright colors. johns are naturally blue pre-sburb. also i headcanon that hypermobile ehler danlos runs in the prospit family (saying this bc i refuse to use some godawful portmanteau family name for them) because projection, and for him it starts presenting more obviously after getting to earth c. even before then he would do weird joint shit to mess with people lol. headcanon that people keep scars from various resurrections or might end up with them from other versions due to weird universe shit so he has a couple stab scars on his chest + lots more from sburb stuff. also i like the idea of him having some visual aftereffect from going out of canon whether some breath lookin scars on his arm or something like that.

rose: mixed east asian/european (vague bc they dont technically have actual ancestry, given a no sburb au im undecided for more specific asian background but since her surname has french origins thats my headcanon for that part); darker skin. natural dark hair but she bleaches it to dye it purple. fairly average height. naturally below average weight growing up, but fills out in her teens. gray eyes before sburb; her hair dye make them look faintly lilac, but they become actual purple eventually. somewhat fluffy hair but mostly only if she styles it to be. keeps scar from being killed by jack + absorbs the scars of doomed rose from davesprites timeline.

jade: tall and lanky, but much closer to daves height than in this drawing. very similar hair and skin tone to john, but much more tan, especially at the start of sburb since she lives in the tropics. by the end theyve both faded to close to the same color. hair looks black but with brown highlights in bright light. natural green eyes, but instead of just turning brighter they also glow like the green sun in the dark (or an animal with reflective eyes). hair gets a lot fluffier and thicker after dogtiering, + gets fangs. it was very long and a tangled mess from not brushing or cutting it enough growing up, so on the pre-retcon yellow yard she gets it cut and grows it back while on post-retcon she cuts it off herself during a breakdown moment. quite a few scars from jungle mishaps + taxidermy stitching scars after dogtiering. pretty wiry from taking care of herself growing up. her ehlers danlos presents with more fatigue as she gets older so the sleepygirl vibes return...she also had to self-treat a lot of dislocations from incidents on the island. her body is a bit fucked up after godtiering from the combo of vague dogginess making the connective tissue stuff worse.

dave: same as rose but im very much in the albino dave headcanon camp! lots of scars from strifing with bro, which show up pretty easy on him. big one on his chest from the strife where his shirt got cut, and sometimes ends up with doomed daves' scars. his eyes were naturally pinkish red but again became their super bright color eventually. heavily masks his expressions most of the time but gets better at displaying emotion while on the meteor. pretty tall and a good bit of muscle, but skinny throughout childhood from his living situation. thin hair without a ton of volume. also please make him so very very texan i beg you all.

jane: shortest of the alpha kids + chubby :] very fluffy hair, and pretty pale from not going outside as much as the other prospits. gets pretty emotive and frazzled at times + gets red in the face easily from both that and being paler. maybe a couple scars from failed assassination attempts that she usually covers with makeup to keep up the heiress public image? her and roxy both have scars from being killed pre-entry.

roxy: darker than rose + curlier hair; also mixed but less so without dirks genes in the mix obvs. second tallest of the alphas! she dyes her hair pink but not as often as rose so her roots are grown out a lot more. various scars from living in the water apocalypse + kitten accidents as it goes with those silly creatures, and more freckles than rose bc climate change lol. natural dark brown eyes instead of something "pink" lol . void style. prescratch she just bleached her hair but didnt dye it. i like to think maybe jade did end up getting a little silly :3 when she was a prisoner on derse so some scars from that too :(

jake: short!! i live for short jake. honestly might make him shorter than jane; theyre def closer in height than i drew them here. lotsss of scars he thinks they look cool. clothes usually a bit battered. haircut is not very neat whatsoever because he just does it himself to keep it out of the way which is better than jade letting hers go wild i guess. similar complexion to jade. scars on his chest from getting forked by jane which has angst potential. natural eye color is sorta hazel/green

dirk: tall! white surfer boy lookin. natural dirty blonde hair but the combo of sunbleaching + various improvised methods to lighten it to resemble his totally awesome bro makes it closer to blonde (prescratch he bleaches it so hard and its so shitty but irony am i right). extremely freckled + lots of scars but he got most of them in very stupid ways like slipping while climbing the supports for the apartment. he does ofc have the iconic neck scar. naturally had light brown eyes.

ok and trolls! this is the only pic where ive drawn all of them so itll work as my visual lol.

first tho these are my headcanons for how different castes ears look! mind that the pic of all the trolls is a bit older than this (which is also something i made a while ago in case i never needed to describe my headcanons. so some things changed from one to the next but in general the same ideas are there; also some things in this diagram i dont like as much as what i drew above so take it with a grain of salt.

also my headcanon is that on average for this age range, trolls are in the same range of heights as humans, but the higherblooded they are the taller they can get. however they keep growing a lot longer . like lobsters . which extra reason why highbloods get bigger cause they live longer

aradia: short, chubby but muscular, with super curly and long and wild hair. when alive, lots of dark red freckles and blush but when dead, very pale gray skin. for my ear shape headcanons, rustblood ears are just slightly more pointed than human ears, though you cant see hers in this pic. sometimes i draw her with horizontal pupils when i remember.

tavros: tall for a bronzeblood, but still short compared to humans. his robot legs make him taller than he was before lol. pretty obvious brown flush to his skin a lot of the time. lil bit chubby

sollux: short-average height, thin and lanky. terrible posture. i lean into the goldbloods with two pairs of ears headcanon. no freckles

karkat: he hasnt slept in a month and everyone can tell. worlds awfullest eyebags on a thirteen year old boy ever. i draw trolls with nails corresponding with their blood color but he paints his black. what do you mean he has red freckles those are the blood of his enemies. average height and constantly tense

nepeta: short. silly. will kill you. there is a nasty mix of blood under her nails at all times but look at her silly smile. she doesnt look buff but she is. super messy hair goes all over the place standing on end when she takes off her hat. cleft lip + slit pupils. lots of scars but she rocks them like a warrior cat.

kanaya: curly fluffy hair. in this pic i didnt draw it cause im a loser i guess but she has tons and tons of freckles. sometimes they look like stars (space player moment). i draw her ears with sorta leafy/almost frayed-looking edges as a rosemary nod since they kinda look like rose leaves! fairly tall for a jade.

terezi: lots of freckles on her face! very straight and pointy ears. short + chubby + not exactly visibly muscular but she WILL throw you. triangle body shape language (wide stance, very solid).

vriska: super wild unkept hair. fairly pale; burn scars across her face, side, and shoulder. the pic shows her damaged ear (she lost most of it in the explosion) but her other ear would be a bit longer than terezis but with a less dramatic point. somewhat tall and pretty solidly built.

equius: buff but NOT like a super muscular body builder he may be a troll but he is basically thirteen. hes like a buff middle schooler but not super over the top. just kinda a regular guy. i dont like how his hair looks in the comic so i draw it a bit different. strong blue (no pun intended) flush to his skin in some places, especially under eyes and near joints. fairly tall.

gamzee: ive never rlly draw him without makeup so i dont rlly have an idea of his normal appearance. tall but slouches, somehow both a bit chubby as well as awkwardly bony in places. thick + very curly hair. i draw purpleblood ears with a sorta multilobed/wavy edgy to sorta resemble approaching seadweller fins.

eridan: average height for a violetblood, but tall for a human. a few freckles. his glasses are just for show. hes like a middle schooler who you think looks so tough and edgy at the time but then you look back and realize they were just a loser kid.

feferi: short + chubby but very strong. long curly hair, lots and lots of freckles! very round + soft + bubbly shape language.

[bismuthburnsblue]

ok so!!! i revisited my work from yesterday, going in and properly blocking out the style lines and strap (still up for change as i get into better fabrics but this is a lot more representative of what they would actually look like now!) (though i am noticing ive set my hemline lower- even extending it on nora, when anne's is quite high, so ill have to see how comfortable i feel with that)

i also took a bit out of the hips on the ally pattern which definitely helped with the shape (i was really just being lazy not doing this, ive used this pattern before and had to do that, i knew it was gonna be an issue)

Theres more notes on my personal thoughts on both patterns below the cut :)

same cw's as before for body image stuff :) (maybe this is silly but i just feel far more comfortable putting warnings + a readmore for corsetry)

(also! i will be doing a post properly introducing this project soon :) ive got a lot i want to say!!)

First up! both of these patterns are by Aranea Black, pdfs of these patterns are still available online but her website is gone now)

Ally is a 6 panel corset with extreme hip spring- heres what the pattern looks like:

i do think the hip spring gives a really dramatic shape, but i do worry that with my upholstery weight faux leather, it just wont sit nicely. on this mock up i had to slit my entire seam allowance at the waist to make it not tuck too badly, and that means cutting my boning channel in half (i think, still deciding details like that) i cant really afford to waste fabric recutting panels if i sew it and it does tuck, either.

(Technically i do have the option available to me to do a twin stitch like Anne's original corset actually has, but this wouldnt be traditional, and wasnt in my plan (even if i wasnt gonna have the bones in the leather layer, i like the /look/ of felled channels on the outside.) a twin stitch however would probably negate most the tucking on the waist point, as it opens it up rather than folding to one side.)

Secondly, the one gripe i have about this pattern is that big line of wrinkles below the waist- now some of this will be from the fabric and it not being worn in, but the "daily wear" version of this corset ive made before still has some of these wrinkles even now, especially over the first hip spring panel. i know theres ways to adjust the fitting to counter the ones over the hip, but those i think are largely from the way the fabrics pulling around the curve- its covers such a large area its bound to pull a little weird in places. I really want a smooth look, a clean finish is the most important thing to me, and i worry no matter what i do they will still be there.

I will say, Ally has a lacing gap designed into the pattern, which is something i want, as Anne's corset has one, and it automatically gives you more leeway in the fit that patterns without it just dont have.

Nora on the other hand is 8 panels, with the hip spring spread across a much further space. On paper it looks much less dramatic, but theoretically should still hold a significant amount of shape, just distributed over more panels.

I guess that would be my first area of concern, that the shape just isnt quite as dramatic as the shape on Ally. i really want something quite striking for this project and though pattern modifications can be made, i was hoping to not have to do too much past simples changes.

The 8 panels also means this pattern will likely eat up more fabric. if nothing else, theres 4 extra sides of seam allowance that the other does not have (though, these pieces will nest together better, so it could end up being negligible) it is a concern however, as im working on a very tight yardage.

One of the immediate positives of this pattern however is the lack of that wrinkle band like Ally has. Since this is worn as an outer layer thats a huge point in its favour, a nice clean finish is basically the top of my requirements list.

Nora also has no lacing gap, which is an issue for the reasons mentioned above (annes costume has a lacing gap, but also lacing gaps give more leeway in the fit, allowing you to be a little tighter on some days than others.) Its possible to draft in a lacing gap relatively easily, but it is something i have to consider.

Its completely arbitrary, but i also feel like the way the strap joined onto this pattern was nicer- it lined up better with the pre existing panels and i think it'd join on as a continuous piece better. again, its extremely minor, i just think its cleaner with less fiddling on my end.

I think im still thinking the same way i was yesterday, that Nora is probably the pattern thats working better for me for this, but its still very up in the air for me. i feel like theres more pattern modifications to do there, but that its probably going to be worth doing the work? but i am definitely interested in what anyone else might think!

[victimsofyaoipoll]

alright time to write an essay detailing whatever yaoi has done to my girl nancy wheeler. so like, even when it comes to yaoi shippers nancy has had stonathan, harringrove, AND steddie over four seasons with steddie already having massive popularity + the other shippers, wheras thankfully eleven only has to deal with byler shippers when it comes to the victimization. but not to diminish eleven any more because she has def gone through it in fandom, im going to get into nancy's stuff: you will notice all three ships she supposedly gets in the way of (ignoring jargyle because the shippers are chill in my experience) involve steve harrington, AKA the most popular character if i had to guess and the white boy of the month. see, they were dating at one point in s1 and s2. the breakup was messy. like he kinda was complicit in her slutshaming at one point and didnt let her grieve her dead best friend properly and she ambiguously (as in nobody can fucking decide when the break up was) cheated on him so yeah. messy. mutually. if not more on steve's side given he was a bit of an asshole in s1-2 but gets better. yadda yadda fast forward to harringrove in particular, AKA steve x the guy who attacked a black child and abused his younger sibling (and im not attacking anyone thats just. what happened). basically 90% of them try to convince people nancy is abusive for the two arguments that occurred and is a slut and privileged (never mind steve being probably the most well off member of the main cast + hes a white guy in the 80s) blah blah blah. also ironic they call her abusive OFTEN when billy (one half of harringrove) kinda like threatens his sister max and breaks her things and otherwise abuses her Often. but yeah. they hate her for breaking his heart. they hate her for getting in the wya of their ship possibly. they hate her in general. add that to the general fandom misogyny and suddenly a large number of people are writing essays about how much they hate her and how she's a piece of shit, actually. fast forward to s4 and steddie and a new problem arises: steddie shippers keep flooding her character and ship tags with primarily steddie. so now your options regarding her are mlm ships and mlm shippers shitting on her. also keep in mind there is now more content for half of that ship, a guy who shows up for an hour and dies in the same season, than nancy, a mc. and if you like nancy ships like jancy or ronance, too bad those tags are flooded as well. as in someone did analytics in august for ronance i think and at one point the majority of main pairings in the ronance ao3 tags itself was steddie. either way both ships usually end up as side ships or bait into a steddie centric fic or tumblr post. or nancy ends up third wheeling and getting them together. as a nice bonus (not really) recently steddie shippers have decided that they too hate nancy and have entire posts and common plots (i have seen tumblr ficlets/hc's and people discussing this as a common trope for steddie fics on ao3) about how nancy was a horrible person who damaged steve's self esteem and ability to be in a relationship or something from a break up, as if the relationship wasnt mutually harmful and compounded by nancy's whole dead best and possibly only friend thing. and whoops for ships like ronance that isnt allowed either because steve's friend isn't allowed to interact with his ex despite the fact that said friend literally said he was an ass in the s1-2 timeline. all of this making it impossible to find any positive content without it being interrupted for a character who, if i remember correctly, has almost as much screentime as eleven (and eleven at least has popular fan content and other ships that dont somehow loop around to byler/mike). and whats worse is that while canon doesnt have yaoi victimization it does have heteronormative bullshit in which she is forced into a love triangle with the same guys TWO TIMES. she literally cant win so let her win a poll maybe also sorry this is super fucking long <3

Whoooo Nancy

[cali]

how do you know when a piece like your groudon is finally “done”, or done Enough?

i dont have an answer for this but maybe when i just type a lot i will find one.

for the groudon pic specifically i had a mental image in my head of what scene i wanted. when i started rendering the lava, i did it really detailed and decided i couldnt leave the rest of it simpler and then when the lava was all like that i had to crank everything else in the picture up too. and that made everything take so long that it was far beyond the boundaries of it being "not enough" . it was pleny enough!! so from hour 30-52 i was pretty eager to get it over with. just everything up to the point where its uniform in rendering. sometimes thats a bad sentiment to work on a pic with, but this time it was ok. i kind of like arduous menial tasks. it makes me more patient. so for that one it was done once everything was on par with my detail standard i set for myself halfway thru.

i think i used to have more trouble with this, deciding when its done... my pice now always either end when they reach what i had planned or when theyre the type of pic without a plan then when i get bored / lose the flow of it. actually prior to the groudon pic even some planned ones stopped at a flowloss point.

these two picy both have immaculate rendering on parts but then i lost it and finishdd the rest of the pic with less vigor. in tve green comet one its all the surroundings. i had other versions for that and kept reworking and reworking but i was so ouf of power i just used a slightly polisjed up sketch, kind of works for the pic though. the eel one i also lost power at the backhground, beyond the water. the mountains and clouds i think i coulda put more effort in. but its ok cuz its like 0% the focus of the picture, just sometjing that bothers me alone. hey both of these pics are about a serpent type thing coiling down to earth gently from the sky oops. back to the question um ya im looking at my images and all of them either end when they reach what i had in my head or when i loose flow. when i used to do lsd more my process was that the picture ends when i go to bed. i want to do that again soon it was fun. i drew for like 6 hours while kind of crazy then for the next 12 hours in warm afterglow i just clean and render everything so sweetly and then with a body as hard as a hundred bodies i sink into my bed and click post on it which codifies it as completed. also towards tve end of the picture is usually when im stressing about tiny details and i will message like 1-2 consistent people and 1-2 random people from my discord friendslist to ask about opinions about which tiny detail looks better for the whole pic. when im at that point i cant think straight no more so well no more so i kind of know its time to stop soon. but those final feedbacks always help. ok i guess thats an answer lol i made it very long i will put a readmore. hope u dont mind reading but i think if i sent someone an anon the longer the reply the happier i would be. probably. im in bed but im gonna get up again in a sec and play some balatroooo, 2 people bought a groudon print so far and i spent that money on balatro eep hihi thank u for the ask which i twisted into my babbleplateau

[chawarin-panich]

cant believe big dragon would be something i need to sit with/sleep on. really the most confusing part for me last ep was their conversation because what were they even saying? it was like everything they said kept flying over each other's head and it was so frustrating because it felt like they had their points and were having roughly the same conversation but also...not? and i have to thank @lelephantsnail for her tags on my post because it really helped streamline my thought about this.

this kind of subtle and nuanced form of miscommunication is not only unprecedented in thai bl but rare in media overall. however, it happens all the time in real life - where you are having a conversation and you understand each other's words perfectly but not each other's meaning/perspective.

b/c the truth is as fuckboi extraordinaires they have different stakes in this issue of Mangkorn's engagement and they're both right to prioritize their own skin in this game - in fact it's the healthy thing to do.

So some of the critical points of miscommunication in this convo (according to me) under the cut

whether or not to share this secret:

this was hard because on one hand mangkorn is trying to set a boundary and he does it in a fairly decent way: there's something im dealing with and i need time to deal with this and ill tell you everything when im ready. But...this is a fairly insane boundary to set with your lover esp when this 'problem' directly affects your relationship. Yai is right to demand to know more because you cannot deal with a problem affecting a relationship one-sidedly. But Mangkorn is also operating here in good faith - he has no intention of betraying Yai, he has all intentions of being with him so why does he have to admit something that will make yai misunderstand and leave him? Mangkorn wants a chance because being duplicitous is not his intention or his goal and its not fair that Mangkorn has to sacrifice his chance at love because of something that was decided for him. But Yai needs a chance too! A chance to decide if he wants to pursue this relationship despite the risks. And this is a good thing! Perhaps putting your life on hold for the dude you've been hate pining over and had one night of hate-love fucking is not the best idea! And thinking about his own heart and impending heartbreak is the right move.

He corners Mangkorn into telling him and Mangkorn tries his best to curtail the pitfalls - you'll understand me, right? im scared you'll leave me so you'll stay by my side right? - and Yai's answer 'its better than knowing nothing' isn't a promise that he will stay with Mangkorn. He's saying that at this point the only chance Mangkorn has of keeping him is by telling the truth. But Mangkorn hears what he needs to hear to tell Yai the truth. And so when Yai's reaction is this:

When Yai's first reaction is to think about himself and not focus on how difficult this situation is for Mangkorn (which it is!) it feels like a huge betrayal!

I had warned him it wasn't going to be easy and he reassured me we will be fine (he hadnt) so why is he saying this to me now? All I'm asking is for him to keep faith so why is he assuming the worst of me?

and Yai isn't assuming the worst of Mangkorn but of the situation itself but you can understand why Mangkorn feels so attacked because he's all raw and vulnerable from sharing something he did not want to share and his partner has reacted in exactly the way he was afraid of the most despite him saying he wouldn't react in that way (yai hasn't said anything of the sort)

And then being classic fuckbois - which honestly relatable - they say the absolute worse thing they could have to each other:

its like they picked the one thing the other was most insecure about and threw it in their faces which honestly was almost comic. they have tried for this long to talk like normal human beings and at the most critical moment of showing support and reaffirming commitment - they both default to their baser instincts of running away from hard things [which fair lmao].

And l love that they are able to call each other out on it! That they don't take the stoic okay that's done then bye! route. Mangkorn expresses what's hurting him - you're my partner and you're supposed to support me - and yai expresses whats hurting him - was giving me a choice in this relationship ever important to you? And of course Mangkorn just gets down to it. Things are spiraling and there's really one way out of this where they can stay together: that despite all the hurtful things they just said to each other - is there a way out of this together Yai knows what Mangkorn needs to hear but Yai answers in a way that is consistent with what he's shown is important to him: honesty and god is it heartbreaking and the way Bank plays it here is so GOOD

So no this conversation achieves nothing and narratively the two characters will engage in the terrible decision making that they would have had they not been so real with each other - Mangkorn will try to run away and Yai tries to distract himself. But boy, if they are to come back to each other in a way that feels realistic and not in a fantastical 'true love conquers all' copout way that can really only ever happen in stories, then having this conversation was absolutely critical.

[aritamargarita]

GOLDEN || 006

you thought it was attitude but ITS GOLDEN

trying to make up for being so behind. really been enjoying these chapters. we are pulling all the grandpas and dilfs yes we are. MALEWIFING THEM ONE AT A TIME. AND WE CANT FORGET ABOUT THE LADIESSSSS!!!! HEY LADIES!!!!HEY LADIES!!!!!!! consider this chapter a bit of a timeskip, we’re goin to the intergender match yes yes. it’s not gonna be what you think y’all have to listen to the plan. i have to put the pieces in place��.

scrambling events here the way i would like them to go, so this is like at the end of the year, it’s november / december 1997,,,,idk. it’s a vibe im hungry as fuck. splitting the chapters because well? yeah. i have things that happen post match

sorry triple h for cropping you out but it’s chyna foreva and always..im just one of her sassy shootas!!!

YOU ARE VERY happy you have something to do tonight. You’re thrilled, even. All you want to do is showcase your wrestling skill. But things don’t always go the way you want it to..

BACKSTAGE // 7:01 PM

After Shawn told you about the upcoming intergender match last show, you decided to go head to the hotel for the night and rest up. You also make a mental note to issue an apology for Bret for not showing up…

But this was pretty important. It’s the week of Christmas, so you’re sure that the company has a lot of plans for the holiday..

You’re in DX’s dressing room, sitting on the floor and doing stretches. You had a reputation among your peers in previous companies for turning up to the events early. They didn’t know whether to envy it or love it. You’re always ready to go.

The door opening startled you from the floor, Chyna being the first to walk in with two duffel bags. She doesn’t greet you at first, but you watch as she sets her things down.

“Hi!” You chime.

And at the sound of your voice, she jumps too. You don’t think she noticed you at first. “Hey. You scared me.”

“You scared me too.” You smile, standing up. “What’s up?”

“Nothing in particular.” She responds. “You’re here early.”

“Oh, I always get here early. I like to be ready, you know?” You start to feel nervous in her presence, which you’re already hitting yourself mentally for. Somehow, you feel like you be trying to impress her. “You’re here early.”

Immediately, the tone in her voice changes into irritation. “Hunter was taking too long. I left without him. Shawn’s probably going to get him now.”

“You snooze, you lose.” You say, completely understanding. Truth be told, it kinda reminded you of Raven. Sometimes, you’d travel with him by car. Stevie would tag along at times too, but you’d much rather just ride with him alone if Raven’s gonna take forever.

Raven would come out 10 minutes late and it would mess with your schedule. He started doing a little better after you chewed him out about it, but the principal…

Just was you considered leaving him in the dust, he’d come outside, suitcase and all. There’s a tiny part of you that misses traveling with them, but, yeesh.

There was a moment you got fed up once and for all. Seeing some girl hastily leave his hotel room really upset you for some reason. You’re not exactly ready to explore why, but it really pissed you off.

You didn’t even care, you just left. Unfortunately, you fell right back into the trap of talking to him when he cornered you during an ECW show to ask what’s the deal….

Now’s not the time to mull over these things, you’re still talking to Chyna.

“Hey, why don’t we travel together next show? I’ll drive!” You offer. “That way we can get here on time and do what we need to do.”

“Fine with me.” It’d probably be better for the both of you, especially since you offered to drive. Chyna just hopes you’re a better driver than Shawn. She’ll never ride with him in a vehicle again.

The last time the three of them rode together, Hunter had been egging Shawn on the entire time, telling him to zig zag through the cars “if he’s not scared”. With the Heartbreak Kid being the show off he is, he did.

Never. Again. They’re lucky they didn’t crash.

“I heard we had an intergender match.” You continue on. You won’t let this conversation end so easily. “Is it me and you…?”

Chyna shakes her head. “No. It’s you and Hunter versus Shawn and I. They wanted to experiment and switch us up.”

Boo…

At least Hunter seemed nice, despite the fact he threw wads of paper at your head the other day. Nothing’s wrong with him at all. In fact, you’ve been meaning to ask him how he keeps up with his hair. It’s so nice.

However, you really wanted to work with Chyna, not against her. Even though you had ring gear, you would’ve changed it if it meant you could match with her.

“Aw man. I wanted to partner with you!” You complain. “We would’ve had so much fun.”

There’s a ghost of a smile on her face, but as soon as you look at her, it goes away. “It would’ve been nice to be partners. But it’s just not happening. Don’t expect me to go easy on you, [Name].”

You give her a thumbs up. “I wouldn’t want you to!” It goes silent for a minute, so you return to the ground to stretch a bit more.

“I have something for you.” Chyna suddenly speaks up, making you look towards her. “Here, take this.” She tosses a rolled up shirt in your direction.

You unroll it, revealing a black shirt that says ‘Chyna Syndrome’. Woah.

“I hope you don’t think it’s selfish or anything. It’s just that Hunter and Shawn are wearing it tonight…” She trails off. You don’t even care if it was selfish or not. She just gave you a gift!

“Not at all, thanks! I’m definitely wearing it tonight.” This has gotta be your new favorite shirt. You’d cut it into a crop top, but you don’t want to ruin it. You may settle for tying it. “I really like this.”

“Good to hear.”

“You, uh, wanna go shopping before the next Raw?” You ask. “I’ve got a really good eye, I think we can find something you’d like!”

Chyna’s never been shopping. Well, she has, but not with another girl in the company. “Sure.”

Yet again, the door opens. Neither of you look up. You’re too distracted with your shirt and Chyna’s sorting through her belongings.

“Ohhh! Look at our lovely ladies congregating!” Shawn loudly says, tossing his bag to the side to come over to you. You’ve started to associate obnoxiously loud noises with him. “Raw’s never looked so good!”

You roll your eyes, but you can’t help the smile that appears on your face.

“C’mon, do a little twirl for me!” He’s a little too spontaneous. Is this how he always acts? You don’t mind though..

You give him your hand and he immediately spins you around.

“What a sight for sore eyes! You know, that Sergeant Slaughter guy’s been a real pain in the ass. Ever since they let him be Commissioner…”

You really start to tune him out after a while. Hunter’s over there getting his stuff together, and your eyes trail over to him as he walks over to Chyna. He looks frazzled, but you hear him chuckling soon after.

Good, he doesn’t seem too angry. Even if he did, you’d definitely defend Chyna quickly.

“…..And he knows I’m the champion! He’s putting my title on the line, can you believe that?! So you know what we’re gonna do? We’re gonna mess up the match. We’re gonna do it our own way. [Name], I need you to lay down for me.”

Him saying that immediately caught you off guard, looking at him in confusion. “You want me to what?”

You had no clue he was champion. The first time you met him, he wasn’t carrying his belt around.

“I want Chyna and I to win. It’s the least you could do, you know, since she’s letting you win the Miss Slammy awards…”

That was two bombs at once. Goddamn.

“Miss Slammy?” You repeat.

For some reason, you notice Chyna turn away in the corner of your eye. Is she embarrassed? Shawn comments on it. “Hey! Don’t get all shy now. You offered. You see, [Name],” He slings an arm around your waist.

“—there’s this thing called the Slammy’s coming up. Big formal event, it’s like the Emmy’s.” He explains.

“It’s like the Emmy’s??” You question. A wrestling event like the Emmy’s, huh? You feel like you’ve heard of something like that before. The only banquet event you’ve been to lately was Terry Funk’s Lifetime Achievement Banquet. You gave a speech and everything.

“Yup. You know, I’ve heard you’ve got nominated. Don’t tell anyone else, I just heard that down the grapevine.”

The grapevine?

You’re surprised. It’s one thing to be nominated, but another thing because you literally just got hired. “Are you serious? Don’t mess with me.”

“Yup. We were thinking about rigging the votes. Chyna, being the sweetheart she is, said she’d rather you get the win.” He grins.

That really is sweet of her. You’re already turning around to tell her ‘thank you’ one more time.

It’s not fair to the other nominees, whoever they are. You shake your head. “I’d rather win it myself fair and square. You know me and Hunter won’t go easy on you.”

Shawn can only scoff at your words. “That’s boring. You’re really gonna let Marlena win over you? Now personally, if that was me…?”

Marlena’s nominated too?

Well, now you absolutely had to win! You quickly interrupt him. “Um, no way. For sure, I think I’ll be Miss Slammy, but I told you I want to do it the fair way.”

“If you say so. Oh shit, I almost forgot. Listen, [Name], What I really wanted to ask you was…..”

Chyna and Hunter both look over at him curiously, but Shawn shakes his head and waves his hand at you dismissively. “Nevermind.”

“Shouldn’t you be talking with Chyna?” Hunter makes his way over to you two. “That’s my tag team partner now.”

“I’m not worried, Trips.” He says. “Me and Chyna are gonna win, even if [Name] won’t lay down for me.”

“I’m not going to lie.” You speak up, causing everyone to look at you. “I kinda wanted to be in Chyna’s corner. Really bad.”

“Unfortunately, you’re not!” Hunter cuts in, a shit eating grin on his face. “You’re with me. Aren’t you happy??”

You hesitate for a minute to respond. You’re a-ok with teaming with Hunter, but you like how he’s starting to get all sour about it. “Ehh…..”

He’s not too happy with your answer. “That’s not fair. You know, we’re gonna have to bond sometime, new girl..”

Chyna holds her hand up to her mouth, hiding her snicker. With the idiocy bouncing between Shawn and Hunter, you may be her only saving grace.

After that fiasco, you headed out to check out the card for the night. It should’ve been on the wall somewhere. Just before you could study it, one of the staff members called you over.

Before he started speaking to you, he holds down his earpiece. Someone must’ve been talking to him at the same time. He eventually looks up at you. “Evening. I’ve got some papers from Creative for you. You can look through them...”

“Okay. Thanks.” You nod, taking the papers from his hands.

Great, more papers. You thought what Rick Rude put you through was hell, you just hope you don’t have to sign anything else right now.

“Vince McMahon wants to speak with you as well. He’s in the meeting room next to the catering area.”

Oh fuck. The boss wants to speak with you too?? You hope you didn’t do anything wrong yet..

You’re already panicking as you turn away quickly and make your way to the meeting room. It’s strange he wants to see you there instead of the office.

You don’t know why you’re so nervous. You’ve dealt with Bischoff and Heyman. There’s no reason why you couldn’t deal with Vince McMahon.

In your defense, it was a new playground. You haven’t gotten a feel for the work environment or for your coworkers.

The people you’ve met so far have been pretty okay though. Things were off to a nice start, so you’re not entirely worried on that front.

As soon as you got there, you remember to take a breath with your hand on the handle.

Once you swing it open, you already start to feel pretty awkward as all eyes fall on you. There’s only one familiar face in the room and it’s Sable, who looked incredibly bored until you walked in.

“Good evening.” Vince says. “Please take a seat.”

The only open seat there is was one across from Sable. How convenient! This definitely was a set up. You don’t say anything as you quietly take a seat. You don’t forget to wave at Sable.

She just blankly stares at you. You wonder if she’s not in a good mood…

Vince begins this meeting with formally greeting the both of you. “Good evening, ladies. I’m sure you’re both wondering why I’ve called you here.”

You and Sable definitely are. This’ll be interesting.

“In the next couple of weeks, at least by the beginning of the new year, we’d like to put you and Sable into a program. [Name], you will be the heel, Sable, you will be the face.”

First of all, this is the wrong blonde you wanted to be in a storyline with. Marlena’s the one who you had to get revenge on, not Sable. She didn’t even do anything.

Did he get the two mixed up?

No, there’s no way. When you’re the boss, you should be able to tell your own superstars apart. There’s a vast difference when it comes to Marlena and Sable.

You point it out. “What about Marlena? I thought we had a thing going on there.”

“It’ll happen eventually.” Vince reassured. “Just not right now. We want Sable to enter the picture, we’ve got plans to split her up from Marc Mero—“

“Wait, you’re splitting us up?” She’s surprised herself, turning her head over to Vince. “…I’m going solo?” You were sure she wasn’t expecting that either. “I don’t know anything about wrestling.”

“Now’s the time to learn.” Vince says, shuffling papers. “Two of my up and coming female stars, going head to head. This is where the dough is made. This, is what’ll get us some views.”

The way he said it made you a little uneasy. He was almost on the verge of laughter. Something’s definitely not right in his head.

You’re not exactly sure what to do. You’re conflicted, especially since he was mumbling on and on about the amount of money he’d be making. Damn old men these days.

It makes you idly look at the table for a moment. You’re not bored per-say, just concerned. Okay, perhaps just a little scared too.

Sable seems to mirror you, although the frown on her face is more noticeable. It’s silent in the room, save for the occasional chatter you’d hear outside the door.

It’s starting to make you uneasy, so you speak up. “I’m gonna be a heel, huh?”

Vince snaps out of his rant and looks towards you. “Yes. Just be prepared to be booed. The people aren’t going to like you. They’re gonna like Sable. She’ll be over.”

Great! You’re putting her over. You just hope she doesn’t get injured by the end of this, though if she says she doesn’t know how to wrestle, you hope that YOU don’t get injured by the end of this.

“I don’t want to take any bumps.” She says outright, crossing her arms. “Especially hard ones.”

You don’t know how this’ll work then. She doesn’t have a choice. “There’s just no way around it, you know? I’ll go easy on you, okay?”

It didn’t make her feel any better. Sable shakes her head. “No. I don’t want to.”

You turn your attention to her. “…If we have to work together, you’re taking a bump. I don’t know what else to tell you.”

She snaps at you. “Who are you to tell me what I have to do?”

“Someone who’s putting you over, and I don’t HAVE to do that.” You can keep up with her. Something you’ve learned being in the business was to never take shit from anybody. Though, it may have been the result of Terry instilling a lot of courage into you.

Sable stands up from her chair. “I can get over just fine by myself! I don’t need you. Remember where you came from, some company no one even knows about.”

She jabs a finger in your face, but you swipe it away. “Oh yeah, I remember where I came from. And I’m about to use this table and fucking—“

Vince stands up too, clenching his fists. “THIS IS WHAT WE NEED!” He yells, damn near startling the both of you.

…….

He clears his throat, regaining composure. “If you have this much energy in the ring, both of you would be winners. You two need to calm it down immediately. This meeting is adjourned.”

Most of the people in the room leave, frazzled by you and Sable’s bickering.

Sable doesn’t forget to give you a glare before she leaves. You’re stiffing the hell out of her when the time comes.

You’re just about to leave too, probably to storm off and complain to the first person you see. Vince stops you just in time.

“[Name], I’d like you to meet someone,” He says. One of the members stayed behind it seems. Your mood is starting to sour, which doesn’t bode well for anyone in the future. However, you do your best to keep up a front for the boss.

Vince grunts something and motions with his head toward you. The younger man examines you, but at Vince’s movements, seems to take the hint and reaches out his hand for you to shake. “I’m Shane.” He introduced. “His son and the co-owner of the company.”

Interesting! You could see the resemblance as soon as you saw them side by side. Incredibly uncanny. Being face to face with both of your superiors felt strange.

“Hey.” You take his hand and shake it. “[Name], but you probably already know that. Really sorry for my outburst earlier.”

He chuckles. Thankfully, he didn’t seem to mind too much. “It’s fine. Just shows how serious you take the business.”

Vince looks between you two.

For some reason, he can feel the connection already. This will be documented for future reasons, of course. Alas, you’ve got something to do. “[Name], I’m glad you’ve came to this meeting today. Don’t disappoint on your match tonight. I will be watching.”

You’ll try your best.

BACKSTAGE // 7:24 PM

Before you had gone to gorilla, Hunter quickly ran you through how things would go. It’s a simple match. Nothing too fancy. He just requested you to do stupid shit every once in a while.

He had forgotten his water bottle, so he ran back to the locker room really quick. You stand there, using a rubber band to tie part of it into a knot. You have your gear on under it, but you’ve gotta represent.

So true, you indeed have Chyna Syndrome.

“Wow, I can’t believe you’re actually going to wear it..” Chyna’s voice comes as a surprise to you, making you turn around with another smile.

“With pride!” You pose, just as if she was holding a camera. “By the way, are we all coming out separate with our partners or all together?”

“Me first, then Shawn, then you two.” She says. “Don’t forget to put your game face on. Me and you are first to go at it in the ring. The other two take over after.”

Okay, this wasn’t too bad. Shawn wanted all of you to mess with this Sergeant Slaughter guy and you knew Chyna wasn’t going to go easy on you, but there’s gotta be a way to goof around with her in the meanwhile…

Hunter comes back with his water bottle in hand. “Shawn’s not here yet?” He looks around, completely confused.

Chyna just shrugs. “No. I’m not exactly sure what he’s doing.”

“Oooh, we win by default. Hunter, let’s hold the championship together.” You say.

“I’ve got an even better idea.” He says. “You’re gonna lift your shirt up and…” He trails off, glancing over at Chyna. He does not want her to beat him up for saying that to you. “…put the title belt on.”

“Just for me? Sweet.” It flew over your head this time. “I’m not opposed for sure.”

Chyna just shakes her head. Just in time, Shawn comes around with his belt in tow, a smile on his face. His gear was pretty gaudy, with a vest and some….what the hell is he even wearing…? It looks like you could unzip part of the pants, but even so, this shit looks like a fashion disaster.

“You guys ready to wrestle?”

Of course you were.

Chyna and Shawn are first out, just as she said. Then it was you and Hunter. You hadn’t ‘officially’ been given theme music quite yet, so they just allowed you to come out with Hunter to DX’s theme until decided.

All of you settle into the ring. You and Chyna were first up.

You’re ready, unable to fight the smile on your face. Chyna on the other hand, was as doing her best to be stoic as ever. You understood it though, she had to be.

Chyna comes towards you and you immediately fall down to the ground.

The crowd gets a good laugh out of it. You’re “knocked out” cold and she didn’t even hit you. Hell, she didn’t even touch you!

She stares down at you, then grabs your leg to drag you around the canvas a bit. You’re still not moving. She then tries to pin you, but you kick out.

You stand up and shoot her a smile. She can only roll her eyes at you, another smile playing at the corner of her lips. You’ll try and be serious now. The two of you lock up, but Chyna breaks it up and irish whips you into one of the corners.

You try to sell it as hard as you can, but it backfired on you completely. That shit really hurt! For a second, you keel over, your back absolutely killing you.

Using the ropes for some leverage, you jump up and hook your legs around her neck for a rope-aided hurricanrana. That’s one move!

Once you hit the ground, you try and exaggerate. (It still hurt though.) “Ow, ow!” You whine, putting a hand on your back. “OOOOOWWWW!” You try whining a little louder, rolling around.

Shawn’s eager to get himself tagged in, holding his hand out for a slowly recovering Chyna.

She sees it and reluctantly tags him in. She wanted to go a little longer with you, but she couldn’t deny him. He’s chipper as hell.

You use the ropes to stand up, then stagger over to him. The two of you were face to face in the ring.

He can only give you a grin. “Remember when I said you have to lay down for me?”

“Uh, yeah?”

Nothing could prepare you for what he was going to do next. He immediately tackling you down like a football player. “I meant it!” When he gets you down to the ground, the referee had started to count it as a pin.

“OW! What the fuck!” You exclaim.

If he wants to play dirty, then so be it! You don’t even let the referee hit two, you kick out immediately.

“Woahhh! You kicked out!” He was taunting you. As you try to get up, he starts to push you down, grabbing your arms to try and stop you from swiping at him. “Watch the hair!”

You’re getting a little frustrated at how he’s holding you down, so you’re doing your best to get the hell out of it. He’s having a bit of a hard time controlling you.

The crowd is enjoying this very much. Whatever you guys are doing, it’s working in your favor!

Shawn’s decently impressed, you’re much stronger than he thought! Well, of course he thought you were strong, you had twisted his arm in the hallway pretty hard.

Normally, girls would just turn into putty under him, especially if they were play fighting like this.

“Hey, HEY, HEY—“ His voice slightly rises in volume as you start to push him off of you with your legs. He doesn’t let go of your arms, trying to overpower your own attempts of moving away.

It’s not doing him any justice. You’re able to flip over him and roll off. That was incredibly embarrassing. In the middle of the ring, no less.

You jump up to your feet and he does too. What’s next?

You take a few steps back and so does he. Then you take a few steps forward. He does too. Is he copying you?!

You hold you arm up and he follows. Yeah, he definitely was copying you. You slowly lower it and flip him off. He returns the favor. Goddamn it.

You’re not for the bullshit, you’re just not. You back away and tag Hunter in. He hits your hand and you switch places.

Shawn doesn’t tag Chyna in, instead deciding to jump in place. You have a feeling that it’s going to go downhill from here.

Both of them pull on the ropes a bit, warming the ring up. They’re acting like the match is just beginning.

Once they’re all finally all geared up, the two of them lock up…and Hunter quickly throws Shawn right onto the mat. He just lays there.

It was a little too easy, definitely done on purpose. Maybe he was even mocking you a little bit.

Hunter bounces off the ring ropes and just as you think he’s about to do something, he just runs and bounces off, jumping over Shawn every so often.

You can’t help but to laugh. Hunter flops right on top of Shawn and pins him with no issue. Congratulations, you two won! He’s the new champion! …Of whatever the hell the theme was, you guess.

“Your new European Champion, Hunter Hearst Helmsley!”

European champion? Ah, very nice.

Shawn’s in the middle of the ring having a temper tantrum. He slams his hands and balled up fists onto the mat. Once he comes up, you see him crying crocodile tears.

Poor thing. He runs over to Chyna for some comfort, the woman fighting a laugh as hard as she could.

Hunter’s brought to tears of joy, crawling around and throwing his arms up. He crawls over to you and hugs your waist. You pat his back.

The referee hands over the title to you and you slightly drape it over his back, trying to catch his attention. He lets go of you and rises to his feet, taking it away from you and holding it up to the crowd.

“You know…” Shawn, now equipped with a mic, can barely get his words out without dry-heaving. “It’s—it’s—“ He pauses for a minute, choking over his tears. Boohoo!

There’s a man at the front of the stage watching all this chaos go down. Now that you take a look around, this arena is a little different than the usual.

Hunter throws his arm around you for support like he just wrestled a very hard match. Shawn’s still sobbing. He takes a minute to pull it together.

“It’s not easy being defeated for the European tiiittleeee…I’ve been in so many matches…I’ve been in ladder matches, I’ve been in cell matches, I’ve been in marathon matches, but, oh god—never has any match been so….emotionally, physically, and mentally draining as this one..”

Shawn continues wordvomiting something else something akin to “youtwowonfarandsquareaauughhh” but then hands over the mic to Hunter.

“I’d just like to say one thing. Other than my kid being born….I don’t have one, that I know of—,” He pauses, definitely letting that sink in. “This is the greatest moment of my life!! YOU ALL SAW IT! I DID ITTTT!!” He yells.

Hunter doesn’t forget to shout you out. “AND [NAME], MY BEAUTIFUL PARTNER, THAT NONE OF YOU PEOPLE IN THE CROWD WILL NEVER GET THE CHANCE TO BE AROUND! THANK YOU!! Oh god, thank you!”

You feel like this match kinda sucks….

Seems like things were back to normal. Hunter tosses the mic somewhere after coming in for a hug and Shawn starts doing crotch chops. The latter grabs the mic again. “I know ya’ didn’t need any help from us Sarge, but we made an ass outta you anyway! MERRY CHRISTMAS!”

Even with Christmas being just days away, you don’t exactly feel in the spirit….

the night is not over. I REPEAT THE NIGHT IS NOT OVER. yes the match was short and stupid. yes we’re complaining about it next chapter (so are some fans…) DO NOT WORRY,,

mickie actually does the rope-aided hurricanrana, it’s pretty cool, though i just think mickie herself is pretty cool :). im actually gonna make a gif move set list to reference or something like that i dunno.

you know, golden seems much more “mature” than attitude idk maybe it’s just me. that was a fun match to write,,sometimes my worst enemy can be writing too much in one paragraph grrr. anyway i hope you guys enjoyed i liked this kinda sorta. until next time

do you guys remember when dx “invaded” wcw? lol thought it would be funny if reader was there like damn.