#i cant do that when i have to write A MILLION PAPERS

[edwardbonnets]

im having stress headaches and 5 hour stress naps every day and i've completely decimated my thumb from chewing on it so much...........quintessential finals week vibes

[thatdeadaquarius]

About language brainrot. Imagine writer creator reader who finally learns how to write in Teyvat's weird symbols and they want to publish their book. They decided to do it anonymously to avoid the "aaaaaah our creator wrote the holy scripture" sort of situation. Except it didn't work. The reader's style is too different from the rest of the world, so even if they tried to simulate the flowery speech it wasn't effective.

Another thing. Reader who decided to read some local books to practice their reading. They asked for something simple and similar to their speech. But the only books merely similar to it are 2000 and more years old. It's funny how the older text is the more you can understand it. On this note. If reader write something i feel like it would be hard to understand for Teyvat's people.

Imagine a reader who is autistic or has any other NDs imparing their communication skills. They practically trained themselves to say sertain phrases in sertain situation. But it doesn't work in Teyvat. And everything just stacks at each other. Difference in speech, being a God (so people react weirdly to you), bad communication skills, not understanding nonverbal cues and so on. There's gonna be a lot of misunderstanding. I imagine how followers would walk on the eggshells not to upset and angry their God and reader who does the same not to say something people will get wrong. Again.

Reader who regained all their memories of creating Teyvat, they're super powerful and stuff. But they still struggle with the modern language. Because all the memories are like millions years old.

✨️NEXYLAZA UR SO FUCKING SMART AND CREATIVE✨️ UR BRAIN>>>>>> EVERYTHING

GIF Akashi (black hair) is all the people who read the Sagau/Isekai Genshin tag and Bokuto (silver) is STILL ME RANTING ABOUT LANGUAGE IN TEYVAT LMAO

They cant escape me, sorry people who just wanted to read SAGAU normal things, im filling up the tag💀

I HAD OTHER ASKS BEFORE THIS ONE AND AS I GOT THRU EM I WAS "OMMGGGG WE'RE GETTIN CLOSER TO NEXY'SSSS ASSSKKKK EEEEEEE"

YOU ARE A GODDAMN GENIUS

DHALALWKDHDHS

ME ABOUT THIS ASK:

(^ lol biblically accurate deadaquarius)

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGINNNN

BRAINROTTING OVER UR ENTIRE ASK!!

♡

Also, its getting kinda old now, so here is the blunt language v. Teyvat's flowery language post for reference! :)

Hhhhhhhhhhh

IF U WRITE STUFF

AND UR IN WORDY TEYVAT LAND

AINT NO WAY,👏

U COULD EVEN, 👏👏

GET CLOSE👏👏👏

TO THESE BITCHES SPEECH👏👏👏👏

◇

Like,, imagine right now if i told you to write me 4 pages of an essay in entirely early 18th century vernacular.

(For reference: when the story Pride & Prejudice takes place)

... like??

Bitch aint no way u can do that and actually show that to a historian or an actual living person from that time period

and them actually say "wow! An excellently worded 18th century essay!"

💀.

◇

So tying into that whole, "the only simple texts are like literal cunnieform clay tablets or sm shit"

Your writing to them just sounds like if a scribe just copied off what one of those tablets said just onto paper HAHA

And like, if u try and dress it up, it just ends up sounding like its from a slightly later time period

Like if ur casual writing sounds like 1 million years ago, u being flowery sounds like 8-7 thousand years ago u cant win LMAO

◇

Omg ur trying to go to that-

wait whats it called,,fuck i dont know Sumeru good enough yet

The.. HOUSE OF DAENA GOT IT

Yeah so ur thinking "Oh what better way to learn a dialect?/vernacular than reading books by them!"

And u basically snatch Alhaitham at the soonest possible chance to take you there

(Bc when i went in, it was just random lore books everywhere so)

Needless to say you have no clue how this place is organized, so u convince him to direct you to books u can easily read first

Like as close to your speech as possible!! U tell him :)

.

..

...lol

It literally takes like 3 hours to get something readable LMAO

Bc when the poor feeble scribe initially brought you smth he thought was pretty old and close to ur speech, like just first thought,

... It sounded like it was from the middle of the 18th century to you lol

So, with a "hmm" and a squint at the dusty book you'd already given up on

Alhaitham slowly went around the library making a stack of books, dropped them off in front of you... not a single sentence.

...then he made a stack of scrolls...

..nope..

...a stack of stone tablets...

.....getting closer?? it was really weird seeing Shakespearean language carved into stone....

...and then, with a conversation to a second library secretary deeper in the library, past a caged area of shelves to protect them...

...he escorts you behind the restricted section towards the back filled with glass display cases.

(Several of which contain the most ancient looking sets of artifacts you've ever seen)

...Finally, u arrive at a long glass case of several clay tablets.

Half of which sound like they're from the 1910s-20s, and the other, even older half, sounding straight out of the 2000s..

..

....

......

...Good god.

(Good..you??)

These crazy speaking bastard-previously-video-game-characters were right.

...

You are suddenly, viscerally hit with the image of Zhongli's idle, "Osmanthus wine tastes the same as I remember, but where are those who share the memory?" 💀

◇

Alhaitham side eyes you,, (he looks,, very interested, yet also kinda concerned??? HIM, CONCERNED????!!!)

"Ahem, the texts before thy Greatest Lord art the eldest- well, perhaps, more appropriately, the eldest and most intact, pieces of written language known to our humankind."

...

....aYOO MAN 😭😭

...Ur just staring at these half cracked, baked clay tablet thingys, full of slang from like 2003-

Alhaitham coughs.

"Uh, thanks. ...Sorry about all the.. trouble with this..."

BRO HOW OLD DOES HE THINK U ARE NOW-

"This task assigned to mine own person was of no trouble to my mind or spirit, Greatest Lord, fret not about it any longer."

And with a sort of shell-shocked atmosphere surrounding both of you, Alhaitham walks off to check out some other restricted books, hovering nearby yet also trying to give u space LOL

Top 10 cursed images: Seeing "Chillax, bro, dude, and weeb" carved into ancient clay tablets that look like they would be part of the Egyptian exhibit back in ur world 💀

◇

You eventually just kind of end up writing a couple pages after studying the writings, going younger and younger (nothing has ever made u feel more powerful...yet also more old..)

You stretch, just as Alhaitham finally has made his own little stack of creaky old books

He seems very curious to read what u wrote, peaking a glance over the top of his book every so often (lol nerd, cute nerd... but NERDDD)

You just offer the academic lunatic what he wants 🙄

"Haha, wanna take a look? Some drafts are... closer than others..."

The scribe immediately puts his book down, not even saving his page,

"I would be honored, Greatest Lord."

Is he excited?? 💀 omfg

U very slowly hand ur most recent practice pages over, he curls his hand under his chin "hmm" ing

...Alhaitham shakes his head

"My..deepest apologizes My Creator, but this still seems, at the earliest, from when papyrus was invented, and not yet even into scrolls..."

OK BUT ALHAITHAM WOULD GENUINELY GIVE NO FUCKS ABT CRITIQING YOU, HE MAY BE MORE POLITE ABT IT BUT EVEN IF U DID MAKE THE WORLD HES GOING FOR IT

KAVEH HAS A HEART ATTACK BC HIS ROOMMATE GOT ONTO GOD LMAO

U let ur head plop on ur pile of papers, srry babe youll never be as fancy as Mr. Darcy 😕

And as ur resting there, contemplating just walking out and finding smth to eat instead- same

Alhaitham picks up another draft.

Except it's your first attempt.

As in, you didn't even try, first attempt.

You just made some bullet point notes or some Bs, in ur regular. modern. language.

Alhaitham knocks his chair over standing up so fast-

(HE GETS SHUSHED BY THE RESTRICTED LIBRARIAN LOL, also another person unafraid to scold God lol)

...he says its a perfect example of the oldest records they've found of writing on the continent, most of which they haven't even translated yet

He asks u to teach him how to read this/speak like this lol

♧

(^^^not my best work but hope yall got smth outta it💀)

I WAS LITERALLY GONNA MAKE A WHOLE POST ON THE NEURODIVERGENT EXPERIENCE OF BEING A GOD IN TEYVAT

ESPECIALLY OF THE LANGUAGE BARRIER VARIETY!!!

THERES JUST

ACK

aCK HDHAKD

SO MUCH

TO SAY

!!!

AHHHHH

OK BUT LIKE

IF WE ACTUALLY TOOK THIS TO THE EXTREME IM IMPLYING IT WOULD BE

LIKE TEYVAT SPEAKS SEVERAL DECADES BEHIND U- MAYBE EVEN ACTUALLY

CLOSE TO PRIDE AND PREJUDICE TIMES SPEECH

THEY WOULD LITERALLY BARELY COMPHREHEND YOU

IMAGINE TRYING TO TALK TO MR. DARCY 😭

THATS LITERALLY ALL OF TEYVAT

JUST

???¿¿?????!!! <- THEM ALL THE TIME

ESP IF UR NEURODIVERGENT

I THINK IT WOULD BE EVEN MORE PROOF FOR THEM TO THINK UR GOD

BC UR BEHAVIOR WOULD BE "OFF" TO THEIR NEUROTYPICAL ASSES,

YOUR FACIAL EXPRESSIONS,

LIKE UR MASKING MAYBE BUT

U CANT KEEP THAT SHIT UP ALL THE TIME-

ESP IN CRAZY ISEKAI CIRCUMSTANCES

AND LIKE-

(ok ill tone it down before i also get shushed)

U used to be a player!!

Which would maybe mean u got rlly comfy playing Genshin all the time!

...like i know im kinda stimming when im gaming (and my natural stim is rocking so yeah no way they wouldnt notice that 💀)

So, since u may be still yknow unconsciously wanting to be comfy (esp around ur mains/team/favs)

U probably have stimmed a little around them, which, not that neurotypicals dont stim, but like

They would notice after awhile

And esp people like Alhaitham, Zhongli, Ningguang, Xiao, Ei, Aether/Lumine, Kaeya, Diluc, Kazuha, Heizou, Shenhe, Kokomi, Sara, Albedo, Dainsleif- !! GASP- !! <- my bbygirl omg i forgot abt u before now im so sorry </3

(once again i have not checked a character list, forgive my sins my readers)

^^^ Are like pretty focused on you/observant, so they'd eventually pick up on it first probably

..

...

....which allsssooo means they're like, collecting all ur neurodivergent thingys lol to compile as EVIDENCE AGAINST YOU AS TO WHY THEY KNOW UR THE CREATOR LMAO

◇

Honestly the biggest factor against u is definitely social interaction,, srry love :/

(if it helps, its bc i know itd be my downfall too thats why thats there ^ 😔)

Mostly bc i have this idea/theory? obervation? that when I especially met Adepti for the first time

Esp ones that werent as close to human society for as long as some others (like think Xiao vs. Ganyu)

And for literally every other non-human people we've met so far in Genshin-

They kinda- they kinda, radiate neurodivergent energy??

Like, they're not adherring to social norms, and not in like a bad way,

But its still rlly obvious (i mean also its probably exaggerated for us as an audience) that theyre not human pretty quickly

coughzhonglicough

COUGHVENTICOUGH-

oh geez wow excuse me, cold weather must be gettin to me- ahem hem-

Anyway, like what Nexy said in the ask,

...

...Yall are all just tiptoing around each other 😭😭

Bc these ppl arent from Earth countries,

All their behavior is weird to you 😭

U dont know how to mask with them yet 😭😭

THE UNBELIEVABLE AMOUNT OF MISCOMMUNICATION THAT HAPPENS ALREADY WHEN UR NEUROSPICY VS. NEUROBLAND PPL

IS LIKE, ALMOST WORSE??

Bc they cant even understand ur phrasing bc its so simple 😭😭😭

◇

Tldr: "Being Neurodivergent means ur a god, confirmed." - says all of Teyvat's denizens

◇

NEXYLAZA.

MY BELOVED.

I AM IN LOVE WITH UR BRAIN.

IF I COULD GIVE IT A HUG I WOULD🫂✨️👏👏👏👏

BC I WAS ALREADY LIKE IN THE BACK OF MY MIND LIKE-

*rubs my little rat gremlin hands together*

"hmHmHMMMM BuT wHaT iF mAYbE yOU reMeMbeREd cReATinG TeyVAT, hmHMHMMMMM"

AND FOR VERBALIZING IT WITHIN BLUNT LANGUAGE AU- !!!!!!!

(one of my favs, if u cant tell)

I would (platonically) kiss you right now dude.

Instead I give this:

♡ ily

And also, I AM GOING TO MAKE A WHOLE POST ABOUT THIS-

MAYBE EVEN A FANFIC, OR ONE SHOT AHDHAKFHSKLAAL-

UNTIL NEXT TIME MY BELOVED PARTNER IN CRIME <333

PSPSPSPSsppspspspssss Last Time! CLOSES TOMORROW @1pm CST: VOTE on my 100+ followers celebration POLL :)

Tell me what u wanna see me write about! PSPSPSPSpspspspssss

(U can vote even if ur new! :] )

THANK YOU FOR SUBMITTING THIS ASK

THIS IS A TREASURE OF MINE NOW

GONNA HIDE IT IN MY LITTLE CAVE OF SCREENSHOTTED SAGAU POSTS <333 hehehehehehehehehehe

THIS IS LIKE PT2 TO MY ORIGINAL LANGUAGE POST AHHHHH

NEXY BIG BRAIN ILYSM <3

Cheers,

🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza lol ur own ask im a menace sorry

[markiemelon]

Heyy!! I really REALLY love your writings!! Could you please write something fluffy for Renjun as well? I'd appreciate that alot! but if you cant its fine too 🫶🫶🫶

sorry this took forever LOL

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♡ rj x fem!reader ♡ school au ♡ classmates to lovers ♡

fluff. no warnings!

renjun was that boy who made your heart do somersaults. renjun was that boy who made you feel like you swallowed a million butterflies.

renjun was that boy you loved.

─ ੈ♡˳

huang renjun was that boy with soft eyes, pretty lips, and a perfect smile. he was that boy you had a couple classes with. that boy who always happened to sit two rows ahead of you, one seat over to the left.

so there you were in your first class, sitting contently throughout the lecture. your mind starts to drift as you observe the boy with his back facing toward you. you couldn't help but notice how neat his notes were and how nice his handwriting was. the lecture ended, urging chaos to erupt in the room. you stay in your seat, as usual, to wait out the stampede of students.

the room cleared to reveal a beige cardigan draped onto the back of a chair. you counted one, two, rows up, and one seat over. it was renjun's. renjun was always one of the first out of the class, so he was probably long gone. you figured you could just take it with you since you would see him in math later, anyway. you picked the soft beige fabric up from the chair and wrapped it over your arm. you headed over to the door but stopped for a second to answer a text on your phone. you didn't pay any notice to a presence entering the room until an abrupt greeting startled you.

"hi.”

you instinctively jerked your head up.

"oh my gosh renjun you scared me." you said, hand to your heart. renjun flashed a smile and pointed his finger to call attention to you holding his cardigan.

"oh." you quickly handed it to renjun. " i was gonna give this-" you could feel your face heating up. "i just thought you had already left so i figured i- but maybe i should have just left it-"

renjun threw his head back in laughter at how flustered you were. "yn it's okay." he interrupted you. "i actually didn't even come here to get this." he smiled. "i came here to leave this paper on the professor's desk. he held up a paper in his hand. "so thanks. i never wouldn’t have noticed i left it here if i hadn't seen you holding it." he giggled through each sentence.

you felt some strange sense of relief wash over you. you started to laugh with him. this situation really shouldn't have been funny enough to make the two of you laugh as hard as you did. but it felt good.

renjun's eyes shifted to look at the clock on the wall behind you. "shoot. class starts in like 4 minutes!" he said as he naturally began to walk backwards, eyes still fixed on the clock. "bye yn. i'll see you in like an hour!" you watched the boy leave your sight, listening to his footsteps growing quieter and quieter.

you've been classmates for a while now, in fact, he was the first person you ever talked to on your first day. both of you had arrived to class too early and made small talk in the hall while you waited to go in. so it's not like the two of you were strangers, but you wished to get to know him more.

a little while later, you went to math. you took your usual seat, looking over to where renjun sits, only to see that someone else had taken his spot. this worried you because that spot was perfect for keeping an eye on him, which was pretty much the only thing you looked forward to when going to math. all the other ‘good’ spots were being taken. you were preparing to have an extremely boring class without having a view of that pretty boy, but finally, that boy you were waiting for walks in the room, scanning around for an open seat. your eyes widened a little once you realized nobody was sitting next to you.

renjun approached you confidently. "guess this is where i’ll have to sit." he smiled.

you don’t know why the thought of sitting next to him excited you so much, but you couldn’t stop smiling. it wouldn’t be so easy to look at him without making it obvious, though.

you stared blankly at the mess of numbers in front of you. you had no idea what any of it meant.

"need some help with that?” renjun leaned over, having noticed your struggles. he was close to you. probably the closest he’s ever been. you got that funny feeling like as if you were on a roller coaster drop. “oh.” you said shyer than before. “yeah.”

renjun rested his elbow on your side of the desk to reach your paper easier. “okay so…” he began to explain to you.

you ignored the little gestures he made to the paper, and how he scribbled some nonsence.

You could only focus on him. the way his voice sounded in spite of his gibberish. the way his hair brushed his skin when he moved. the way his eyes glowed as he thought.

"so, does that make sense?”

everything he just said completely flew over your head, but you responded, nonetheless. “yeah! yes, thanks. that makes so much more sense.” you smiled.

renjun scoffed. “yn, you didn't listen to anything i just said.”

“what?! why would you think that?” you said, avoiding eye contact.

“because i started talking about my grandma’s kiwi allergy and you didn’t notice.”

the bell rung.

“how about we continue this in the library after school?” he said, getting up from his seat. “since it’s the weekend tomorrow, we’ll have more time to work.”

you felt your smile form on your face again, giving renjun the idea that you agreed.

“oh yeah,” he continued. “can i have your number?” he rubbed his forearm. “so i can text you when i get to the library..” he swallowed.

“yes, right. right.” you pulled out your phone quickly, looking a little clumsy while doing it.

he took your phone and you observed his concentrated expression as his thumbs glided across the screen.

after exchanging numbers, you went your separate ways.

you walked away, feeling a little embarrassed. “why do i act so weird around him?” you scolded yourself.

after school hours, you decided to go find renjun. you approached the library, walking alongside a glass portion of the wall, and caught a glimpse of your reflection. you cringed at the sight of your tangled hair.

you glanced at the time on your phone before starting your way back in the same direction you just came from, finding the nearest restroom. you put your bag on the counter, and combed through your hair with your hands, taking another moment to reapply some lip tint.

fixing your posture, you stood tall in your reflection. you smacked your lips together and ruffled your hair before grabbing your bag and speed walking out to the hall.

you approached the library once again, this time, a little more confident.

you walked through the quiet room, the smell of old books and wooden shelves hit you softly. the stillness around you made you self conscious, you could hear your every move. there you saw him, sitting at a desk, his back to you. he was tapping his fingers against his cheek, and seemed to be deep in thought.

you approached him from behind but you almost didn’t want to disrupt his thinking. you wondered what he could possibly be thinking about.

renjun suddenly scooted his chair back as if about to stand up. “when is she gonna be here-” he gasped after seeing you standing right behind him as he turned his head. “holy-” he caught his breath.

“sorry. i didn’t mean to startle you.” you laughed. “and sorry im late…something came up.”

“don’t worry…i hadn’t even noticed you were late…” renjun’s eyes wandered around the room. “uh so…should I help you with that thing from earlier?” he pulled out the chair next to his, gesturing his hand for you to sit.

“yes, thanks.” you sat down. “it’s nice to know that you’re good at math…” you said to break any second of the silence.

“yeah…um, yeah i’m pretty good at math…”

you wondered why he sounded like he was lying, but you brushed it off. renjun seemed to be way more nervous than earlier, unlike the confident renjun you were used to.

“okay this is easy!” he said. “this should be a 2 instead of a 1.” he pointed at the faint pencil on your wrinkled paper.

you thought you had that one right… but without asking many questions, you went along with whatever it was that renjun said.

you worked until the evening, then you decided to finish up.

as you picked up the rest of your things, renjun took off his sweater and draped it over his chair. “won’t you be leaving?”you asked. “why take it off now?”

he looked to you. “oh. i just got really hot…like…right now.”

“oh. okay.” you replied. “well thank you for helping me, renjun.”

“mm.” he nodded, a faint smile in his eyes.

you were hoping to walk out with him, maybe even get him to walk you home, but before you could even swing your backpack over one shoulder, he was off.

“okay bye yn gotta go see you tomorrow!” he blurted as one long word as he rushed out of the library.

“renjun, your sweater!” you did a double take at the chair where it was left. he heard you but he acted like he didn’t. “weird.” you picked up the sweater, just like you had done earlier. right then, you heard a buzz from your phone.

from: huang renjun

hi yn. i left my sweater at the library. do you mind taking it with you???

omg renjun i literally told you that before you ran out!!!

are you free tomorrow? so you can give me my sweater…

yeah im free

can we meet at that cafe by the school? at like noon?

sure

that next morning, you found yourself walking to that cafe. opening the door, you found comfort in the scent of coffee and sweetness.

“renjun!” you called over to him. “here.” you handed him the soft bunch of fabric.

“thanks. sorry to make you come here.” he apologized, though you knew he wasn’t actually sorry.

“oh, i don’t mind…” you shrugged.

“well since we’re already here… do you want to get a coffee or something?” renjun proposed. “sit. ill go get something.”

you sat at one of the smaller tables, while renjun ordered something. you couldn’t stop yourself from staring helplessly at the boy. his beige cardigan complimented his light brown hair. it seemed that every time you saw him, the more you grew to like him. he was cute, well-mannered, funny. you usually tried to shake away these feelings once they started, but today you let them stick around a little longer.

the sight of renjun walking over to you, holding two drinks in either hand, was enough to make you blush.

“here.” he handed a cup to you.

he sat down in the seat across from you, but only for a moment.

“i better get going. something came up.” he got up, just like that, walking past you and out the door.

it happened suddenly, so you didn’t even see him walk out, but you did see, by the time you turned around, his beige sweater in a bunch on the floor.

“that boy…” you mumbled to yourself as you went straight to pick it up and run after him.

that boy was now halfway down the block. “renjun!” you got no response. you ran as quickly as you could. once you got close enough to reach, you tugged on his arm.

he turned around.

you dropped your hands to your knees, gasping for air. “you,” you swallowed, “you dropped this.” holding the cardigan out with one arm, the other still resting on your bent knee. “you know, you’re very clumsy, huang renjun.”

“oh that?” he laughed. “i dropped it on purpose.”

…

“why…. would you do that..” your jaw stayed open.

“so you would come looking for me!” he flashed a bright smile.

his perfect expression distracted you for a second. “you must have a big ego to think i would go out of my way just to give you this.” you shoved the cardigan into renjun’s arms.

“right, because you just full-speed sprinted down this block for fun…” he teased back.

you didn’t really have anything to say so you moved your eyes away from his.

“yn.” he spoke.

“renjun?” you replied.

“why are you so cute?” he asked, well aware of how flustered it would make you.

a sudden warmth overtook your chest. you kept your stare away from renjun, but he kept his on you, not expecting a response. he took in a breath before he spoke. “will you hang out with me today?”

now you fixed your eyes to his. “don’t you have something urgent?”

“i made that up. let’s go.” he grabbed your wrist and pulled you along to wherever he was going.

your feet scooted across the sidewalk as you tried to keep up with his rushing pace. you looked down to see where his hand held your wrist gently. “how could he be so bold?” you thought.

“renjun!” you shouted, seeming a little annoyed. “where are we going?!”

renjun turned his head to you for a moment before facing forward again. “im taking you somewhere special.”

moments later, you arrived in front of a small corner store.

“cmon let’s go inside.” he opened the door and let you walk in before he did.

“so your idea of hanging out is making me run errands with you?” you playfully nudged renjun’s shoulder with yours.

“well if somebody didn’t use every single one of my pages as scrap paper…”

you felt like you were getting closer and closer to renjun, and you felt it happening quickly. you kept surprising yourself with how comfortably you would act around him, and how you could tell he felt more comfortable too. the happiness you felt around him was starting to outweigh the tension you had been feeling.

you and renjun spent the rest of the day walking around the city, browsing boutiques that were way too expensive for both of you combined to afford. you just did normal things, but it felt surreal.

you went to sleep that night, thinking about that boy, continuing your fantasies from where you had left off the night before.

the next morning, you snoozed your alarm a couple times less than usual, motivated by just the thought of that boy.

today after school, the class rankings of the math test scores would be posted. after the bell rang, you found renjun waiting in front of the classroom. “im kind of nervous..” you murmured as you took your place next to him, leaning against the wall. he didn’t seem too confident himself. “me too.” he confessed. you nudged his shoulder after hearing his response. “psh, don’t be. you’ll probably be in first place.”

you had a lot of confidence in him.

a few minutes later, you, renjun, and the rest of the class, stood in front of a long list of names, trying to get a glimpse at their own.

after a moment of squinting, you came across your name. “hey, for out of 53 students, i didn’t do too badly.” your shoulders dropped in relief.

renjun gave you a thumbs up and a big smile that almost looked sarcastic. “good job!”

“well thanks to your help…” you tried to stay modest. “What did you get?” you asked him. “i can’t find your name in the top 10.” you looked further and further down the list.

#53. Huang Renjun

“oh yeah about that…” he tried to get you to look away from the paper. “hey let’s go to the library now!” he changed the subject, and dragged you to the library.

the two of you sat in your usual spots. “so do you need help with anything?” he looked tense.

you weren’t good at math, but you were at least smart enough to realize that renjun wasn’t good at math either.

“renjun.” you turned around to face him.

“hm?” he perked his head up.

“you cant do math either, right?”

he fluttered his eyes. “hm?”

“i saw your score, renjun.”

“oh.”

you couldn’t keep a straight face. “why are you pretending to be good at math?”

he just stayed silent, tracing around the desk with his finger. you were hesitant to ask, but you did anyway, “renjun,” you paused, “do you like me or something?”

his movements froze. “how about i walk you home?” he frantically got his stuff together. “it’s gonna get dark soon so let’s hurry.”

you couldn’t pass up that offer, so you just let him get away with avoiding your question.

he walked you home, and your heart fluttered all the way there. “it’s here.” you slowed your pace as you approached the small stairs in front of the door. you walked up one of the steps before turning around to face the boy who seemed a little shorter all the sudden. “im taller than you!” you giggled.

renjun stood on his tippy toes, bringing his face nearly level to yours. he looked at you. his glossy eyes glimmered with the porch light that automatically turned on.

you leaned back a little, surprised at how close you were to him.

you suddenly felt that shyness that you had almost forgotten the feeling of. “im still taller.” you said.

his concentrated expression turned into a grin. “well good thing im just tall enough.”

“just tall enough for what?” you laughed. “a smurf?”

he couldn’t help but smile as he shook his head gently, careful not to break his eye contact. “no.” he said. “for this.”

and unexpectedly, that boy that stood in front of you. that boy with the sweetest smile and the cutest laugh. that boy you couldn’t stop thinking about. he leaned in. and the closer he got, the more you anticipated his touch. his hand on your cheek. his eyes fixed on your lips; that’s where he placed his own. it was the most perfect match.

you felt only his lips move out of your reach as he stepped up to you. “it’s better if i’m taller, don’t you think?” he laughed before reattaching his lips to yours. your hands made their way to find a place to rest against his chest. you felt his heart push against your palms.

“yn. i dont know if ive made it obvious enough, but i really like you.”

“so you do like me..” your grin stretched from ear to ear.

he didn’t answer. he looked at you and sighed through his forming smile. he reached for your hand to tug you closer. and without a word, your lips reconnected.

you took in everything you could about that moment. you wanted to cherish every feeling of every second you spent with that boy.

that boy who pulled you closer. that boy who held your hand.

renjun, that boy you loved, was now renjun, that boy who loved you.

tysm for requesting i rlly appreciate it ! hope u like it ＾＾

i usually don’t write things this long but idk what happened hhahahhaha

[joelletwo]

(sets a timer) the exorcist postcanon lore i can remember off the top of my head

well the precanon is they were teenmarried in an impulsive haha jk unless 'lets run away from our restrictive homes' moment they immediately chickened out of post-signing the license. and then immediately the various inciting incident cracks in their teenage tenuously extended-grace-bc-theyre-lonely-w/o-peers ability to cooperate that happen as they become adults (seiji dad death-now new heir of the clan-eye attack, and whatever shuuichi's doing to get away that makes him go insane and become a celebrity in three years) makes them more or less lose contact and ignore the elephant in the room until canon. though seiji (and nanase) do poke fun about it sometimes and any time natoris like fucking hell i cannot let the paparazzi find out im legally married itll be a whole Thing can you please sign the divorce papers hes like hahaha what a funny joke shuuichi-san /_^ [mails them back folded into origami]

[various natsume-fueled char development we've disturbingly stayed kind of sort of on track for in recent arcs] -> matoba reconsiders his whole life and the fact that as an adult hes in total control of it and he kind of completely hates it. he wants a less black and white relationship w youkai he's forlornly looking thru the window at natsume and all his sick ass youkai friends. he gives up his eye to eye-eater to settle the matoba debt and (at least temporarily) quits his job and leaves the community and lives a life as just some weird-ass guy whos suddenly free to have hobbies (just picking up and trying whatever) and go to therapy and physically recover.

[per my fics] nanase uses this to get her favorite matoba child back into the picture and help them reconcile as seiji passes the clan back to [matoba sister. i have not reconsidered with shinobu i cant handle it kjsf] and they uncover some of the misunderstandings that drove them apart as kids

[also per my fics. NOW DEBUNKED I GUESS] when natori hears that matoba quit his job he seethes in anger bc FUCK he was gonna do that!!!!! now he cant!!!! but its an opening for them to reconnect and similarly patch up some misunderstandings or figure out where, now changed by time, they fit together differently and less conflictingly than before. natori has also been gently prodded by natsume into therapy and lots of outdoor hobbies where he can Find Inner Peace

i really still adore the idea of. matoba gets settled in his lonesome. um he adopts a youkai-seeing kid thats varyingly important i love her to pieces i cant get into that. read my fics look at our art. but matoba's got his own thing going on hes broadening his horizons in his new life. natori's happy to dip in and out but hes got ten million lives hes busy hes all over the place. they get back together but like. only strictly Share A Life in the typical sense like. in passing. irregularly. always keep in contact but theyre not like. moving in together. for a long time at least.

natori does lose his leg in a freak accident at random one day and he DOES keep the lizard afterwards. really important to me. he grows to love this guy. disabi/_^y 4 disabi🦎y

broad strokes. funny specifics:

matoba gets into doll restoration and has lots of pickling jars w body parts all over his place. natori spends lots of time in the woods lookin' at bugs as he gets fond of the gecko and learns more about geckos and then learns more about little guys in general. hes perfectly positioned to like. anthropology out the symbiotic relationships he discovers between insects and youkai. he writes an pseudonymous guidebook about this thats nichely successful and taken as whimsical fantasy

meanwhile sasada has never given up the goat on trying to prove youkai exist even tho her whole friend group wont admit it. i forget the details but she gets into the book and gets really into bugs to see if she can reverse-engineer the youkai side of the relationship without being able to see it. at some point meets natori thru natsume in just-some-guy capacity and finds out they both like bugs and they bond over that without her knowing hes the author. comedy of errors time ^_^

[spacexseven]

resend time! this works out just fine for me I get to fix my typo hehe. ok onto the aftermath of drunk dazai now. when he wakes up the next morning and manages to pick some memories out of the painful fog of his hangover, he’s BEYOND pissed. nevermind the fact that he was the one that trapped you in his desperate embrace and cried every time you left his line of sight, he never wouldve acted that way if it wasnt for YOU. where the HELL do you get off thinking you can humiliate him like that in front of his inferiors? stupid fucking dog. he’s been too soft on you lately, hasnt he? have you forgotten who you’re dealing with? he’ll make you PAY for this, you wont suffer this much if you live one million years, mark his w-

in the middle of his mental tangent about how much he despises you for making him feel things, something catches his eye. a tall glass of water with a few little white pills next to it. he doesnt remember getting himself that. he doesnt even drink water. he’s certain he doesnt have these pills in his cabinets either (he isnt allowed to have any medications in his home), what even were they? then he notices the note the glass was placed on, written in handwriting he’d recognize anywhere was “take these if your head hurts. try to drink the water as well, it might help.”

...ah. so, you left this for him, then? that’s… nice… of you… he runs his thumb over your lettering, trying to ignore the way his entire body trembled with excitement. you… you actually thought to do something to take care of him… you must have had to run out to the store yourself to get him these pills, right? you went out of your way like that just for him… you went out while thinking about HIM, nobody else. and you did it without being asked! you even wrote him something! now he has something with your handwriting on it FOREVER! hehe, he’ll have to find a special place for it. maybe he could frame it? no, keep it in his wallet! but oh, what if someone steals it? he wouldnt be able to let that slide, would he? stealing a present from his beloved… 

he cant help but break out into manic little giggles while his face goes from deathly pale with fever to deep red. he presses a little kiss against the note before setting it down so he can take the medicine you left for him. you left just a few pills for him instead of the bottle (for reasons you can probably guess), so he savors each of them as the idea of having something in his mouth and you actually touched with your hands coaxes a low moan out of him. he lays back down in a fit of giggles and crushes a pillow into his chest. he supposes he can let your behavior slide… just this once. as a matter of fact, he might even think up a few… rewards, for when he gets back <3

- 🩹

this is a bit too cute for subordinate au dazai But its ok

dazai isn't used to being cared for—he usually doesn't even care for himself. a small part of him is convinced the action was meant to be humiliating—you leaving him pills to take for a headache like he couldn't handle a couple of drinks—but the larger part of him, is a little touched.

more than a little.

knowing you went out of your way to get him medicine, even cleaning up the constant clutter in his room so he could find it easily...it made him feel a sort of happiness he hadn't in a long time. a warm, gentle feeling. wordlessly, he traces your lettering with his finger, relishing in the evidence of your effort. even your writing was so characteristic of you, and if he tried hard enough, he could imagine you crouched over the little table, scribbling out your message quickly on a paper you found lying around. did you use one of his pens or one you had on you? he couldn't tell, but he would have liked to hold on to the one you used.

still, when he swallows the pills you left, he thinks it's almost as though you're there. if he ignores the facts, he can pretend you're just outside, waiting for him to go out and greet you with a kiss. maybe, you were in the kitchen, cooking breakfast, or in the living room, putting away opened but unfinished books. he stares longingly at the silent washroom, thinking it would be nice to wake up to the sound of running water instead, knowing someone was in there, brushing their teeth or washing up.

but this was a start, right? the note, the obvious care in your actions. dazai, before he can think about it, places a light kiss on the paper. almost immediately after, he pockets the sheet, feeling oddly lightheaded. when he sees you again, he'll be sure to let you know he appreciated your feelings.

[myymi]

ohh if you can i would appreciate some tips!! honestly writers are so admirable we dont give yall enough credit🙏🙏🙏

well, for me to give you the absolute best tips i can to help out, i need to know what exactly you're struggling with when it comes to writing. there are about a million different tips i can give you for about a million different things and some of those tips will be completely useless to you

for now though, i'll give you the things that help me getting into a writing mood + general tips i give to new writers and if you still need further help you can explain what exactly you're struggling with and ill do my best to help out;

1) whatever you learned about formatting essays; forget it.

a common thing i see in new writers is they try to write it like an essay. which isn't a bad idea really, but it is restricting. your paragraphs don't have to be four or more sentences. they can only be one if you want. it's your story, format it however you want. you don't need to follow rules

2) listening to music

this is mostly for when you have that one specific scene in your head but have no idea what to do for the rest of the fic. listening to music and connecting the lyrics to the characters you're using is a great way to get your mind thinking. one song can give you several different ideas depending on how you interpret it

3) make sure you are in a good mood

personally, i cannot write to save my life if im upset or just generally having a bad day. i know some people can use creating as a way to cheer themselves up, but it just doesn't work out for me lol

4) if you don't need background noise, don't use it

it's pretty easy to get distracted when writing, especially when you have something new playing. if you do need background noise of some kind, i would advise playing instrumental music or that one movie/show that you've seen a thousand times and could quote in your sleep. keep your focus on your writing

5) brackets will be your best fucking friend when writing

one of the most important things about writing is keeping your flow going. if you find yourself writing sentence after sentence for a good while and then you suddenly hit a stop because you don't know how to word what happens next; throw it in brackets and write the scene after it. its the same reason why you're told to skip questions you get stuck on when taking a test. let your brain do what it knows it can and come back to the tricky stuff later.

6) you don't have to write anything in order

you don't have to write a story exactly start to finish. you can jump between any scene you'd like and find out how to connect it to a different scene another time. this kinda ties into the last tip in the sense that you gotta let your brain do what it knows. if you only know the beginning and the end then write those first and figure out the rest as you go. if you need to edit either one of the previous things then that's okay. there's no shame in changing things around, it's just how creating things go. sometimes change is needed

7) writing prompts

for new writers, i like to tell them to find a prompt online to write a story for before they start their own. using a prompt someone else made keeps your brain from getting overwhelmed, allowing you to focus more on finding a writing style that works best for you. using writing prompts also lets your brain find ways to contribute to a story without having it make everything while also figuring out how to put it on paper. it's easy to overwhelm the brain, so let it get used to writing before you start creating your own ideas. (this is also something i advise to people who experience burnout or just cant think of anything to write. your brain just needs a break from creating ideas right now, go and find a prompt for it)

8) word count

listen to me because this is so important; ignore the word count. you need to focus on learning, not how much you're writing. it doesn't matter if you only wrote 50 words when other people have fics well over 50k. ignore it. you are learning, you'll get there eventually. if you focus too much on how much you're writing you're going to stress yourself out and ultimately drive yourself away from ever writing again. treat word counts as milestones. start with 50, then 100, then 150, then 200, etc. let yourself work towards it slowly rather than push yourself too hard right out the gate. you can't expect to draw the mona lisa the first time you put a pencil to a paper, so don't expect to write thousands of words the first time you write a story. it'll take time, and that's perfectly okay.

9) analyze the shit out of your characters

this is easier when writing fanfiction, but take a few hours to learn your characters. find the content they're in and hyper-focus on what they're doing. pay attention to their speech patterns, their body language, their relationships with others, etc. if they're not in a scene, try to imagine they are and what'd they do and/or say if they were. it'll help out with keeping them in character when writing

10) if you get to a point where you can't write anymore even when using brackets; stop writing for the day

we have our limits. you will get to a point where you can't get another word down and that's okay. it doesn't matter if you've only written a handful of words, close your program and wait until you feel motivation hit you again. if you keep trying to force yourself to write when you just can't then you're going to burn yourself out. the most probable reason for this is writer's block, which means you need to focus on other things for a while. give your brain time to recollect itself. it's annoying, i know, but it's better for you if you just let your brain do what it needs to. it knows how to take care of itself, so let it.

i also have a tag i use whenever i give tips, so you can check those out as well to see if anything helps! it's just writing tips

[mihai-florescu]

Do you agree with me that we should get rid of "death of the author" and that we should introduce "death of the audience" instead?

"Oooh but how will other people interpret this-" I don't know! I don't care! I wanna know what goes on inside the brain of the person who actually put their time and effort and soul into this. Not five million other people who Did Not Create the Thing.

(Sorry if this is weird but you feel like the most qualified person i know to have an opinion on this)

Disclaimer, im big on believing 2 things coexist at the same time about everything. My mood swings put me in black and white thinking often, but when i can think clearly from both perspectives im still a contrarian and have counter points for my counter points. Im gonna word vomit an answer, im not good at ordering my thoughts but i hope its fine still.

Oh brother i used to go on rants about this (authorial intent, media consumption, fandom culture etc) all of last semester and it's what ultimately led to me giving up on my degree and serious art altogether... i'll attach a few i found in my archive i think are relevant if youre curious beep meep meow. I was writing these posts at the same time as my thesis paper which was more hopeful and aiming to reframe what we consider escapism, but in the end by the finale (last assessment) the hatred won in my heart and i couldnt make a visual project with an audience in mind. I made something, but it was more like a rant with visuals and absolutely failed the "whats the future of this project?" question. Must it have a future for an audience? Its job was to be a confession and a respite, for my own expression. I dont want an audience, im too much of a misanthropic hater and possessive mother to let others see or interpret my ideas. I know it's selfish and counterproductive but i cant help it. You sending this ask made me laugh since it was so relevant to my struggles this year. Id love to break out of this cycle and mindset but i always go back here to these beliefs.

Anyway... i do think the sensible truth is somewhere in the middle. Reader's interpretation is essential for works to gain life in the world and to outlive their authors, and i revere stories for the ability to touch people's hearts and make them learn things about themselves as well as other's way of thinking (reading is a process of interpretation and contemplation afterall isnt it? Well, active reading at least. Citation to my written thesis). But im not a fan of fandom lens interpretations that so often flatten stories.

I think for our shared stories of interest authorial intent is particularly fun to think about. Commercial works made to sell gacha games but which do have heart and profound messages theyre trying to convey. But also made with an audience in mind. I havent been able to formulate any particularly riveting conclusions, but i would love to know if anyone has focused on such topics. Everything deserves analysis and attempts at understanding... and i find authorial intent an invaluable insight that can never be cast aside. Works gain lives of their own after theyre set free into the world, but they dont spawn fully formed from thin air ready for "consumption"...

Uuu im trying to decide if i should link to you a story about storytelling i wrote and illustrated in a day, and a video about humanity and the power of imagination as salvation and damnation... if i say "i'll share them, but only if you erase from your mind that i wrote them" it'd be hypocritical after everything i just spilled out. But too much knowledge about the author is scary too... not for the audience as much as the author himself. It's the audience who has the final laugh of judgement and interpretation... but it's scary to let others into your mind, to see things you spent time and energy on? I wish i could channel my death of the audience defiance into proudly sharing works without caring who sees them rather than deciding nothing is worth making anymore since im so mistrustful. Alas! Maybe one day i'll stop being a self absorbed, self sabotaging prey animal

[hongism]

hi sooo....

O______O wow...

U DID IT AGAINNNNNNN, im so.. im so shocked reading the new moc chapter and must i say i love ur interim chapters i think theyre so !!!!!!!!!! chefs kiss truly

okokok so im speechless.. but im thinking abt it now and ... (maybe this is also bc i recently jus binged like all of moc in like 3 days so its still fresh on my brain but) the very first chapters when mc was alr on the ship and and there was that one bit with san and they spent the night together and were talking and it was when she still was carrying around the pardon papers and they had like a heart to heart to be there for each other and the cheek kiss !!!!!! if im remembering right.. i remember sans reaction being written kinda awkward initially (ill have to eventually go back and find it) so it- it makes me wonder how fast hongjoong tried to come up w a plan to manipulate mc... also... my heartbroke even reading the prev chapter when mc was crying and telling san "why did u have to make me doubt ur feelings?" and then reading this chapter- i have hope for them i really do but i fear.. whats gonna happen once she finds the truth out bc... ik she will </3 and i fear its gonna be hongjoong.. But also..??? WAIT NO BC IM THINKING 80 MILLION THINGS RN.

THE DIALOGUE W MINGI........ MINGI AND MINHO..... minho being shocked that his intelligence is more than he lets on.... ITS MAKING ME WONDER LIKE... theyve all kinda treated mingi like Oh he's helpless or struggling rather, we need to care for him diligently-which is true, bro got demons fr but... then im wondering how much mingi really knows bc...?? i remember mingi saying smth to mc too about like "ask urself why it is that ur even trying to disobey in the first place?" or like idk they had that deep ass talk and.... idk.. im thinking abt it now though... what does mingi know.......

im also wondering... 1) if joong has a conscious LOL 2) no i definitely think he does after this but,,,,,,,,, we still dunno WHY he's become this way- why his demons are like this/why theyre presented this way bc in a way (LOL ME TRYNNA PSYCHOANALYZE HIM)... it seems like he keeps everyone at an arms length... except seonghwa i feel like.. at least for now.. but i saw that because he keeps to himself a lot even amongst the ship- so it seems... but he definitely changes the way he wants to come across people... 3) idk if i wanna hug him and tell him its gonna be alright or if i wanna box him LMFAOOO he is so damn crazy... and then jus the way minho described the way they played chess... everyone else doing his dealing... actually now that im thinking about it.. he's been called out quite easily before... so maybe he isnt as hard to read as he thought... in fact ik mc has been the one to call him out hella on his shit so.. i wonder if thats why he's so adamant on keeping her in shape.... oh joong ... babes what did u go thru 🤣🤣🤣🙁🙁🙁 u lil control freak u~~

anywho.. im also confused.... bc i can see that mc does wanna be approved and accepted (?) by joong yet also cant stand the authority he gives so its quite the paradox.........

rn im jus ranting sm... its like everythings clicking..

but also.. im curious.. hongjoong has only lost chess to yeosang among all the members... yet.. seonghwa is the lit. which ofc im gonna assume its also him being a siren that like he said "the closer he is to me the better".. but then if yeosang thought most like joong... why is yeosang just a pawn in joongs eyes ...? yeosang losing the wooyoung </3 lordddd i dont even wanna start... then minho saying he's excited to see how another crew member plays.. joong immediately thinking seonghwa... but interestingly enough im guessing its either san or yunho.. but my best bet is san given he's like another right hand man kinda guy to joong...

ill conclude on that note since its 3am rn... but wow U DID IT AGAINNNNN i love ur writing so much seriously <33333 thank u thank u thank u and im excited for more x

hi hehe :3 i'm so thrilled that you enjoy the interims that's such a relief and so nice to hear ;-;;

you're in the perfect position bc you remember what happened early on and can pick up on the crumbs i was dropping to make it alllll come full circle! what goes around comes around! not only are hongjoong's plans important to consider (ie when he implemented them, when he put them into action) but also both how san carried out his initial duty and when san started to slip away from that duty into something genuine! both those things will be explored and opened up in san's upcoming interim, that will help pull all the pieces together i hope so!! that scene with mc crying to san,,, i cried writing it and i know it made a lot of people doubt san and his feelings but!! please have hope!! there are SOOO many possibilities!! will hongjoong really leave san to lie in the grave he dug for himself or will he dig it deeper or try to help him out…? all remains to be seen :3

mingi is truly truly such a fun and fascinating character to both write and unveil to you guys ;-; he's exceptionally intelligent beyond the scope of understanding emotions period but he gets treated like he's dumber because he doesn't understand emotions bc in the others' eyes emotions are just simple and easy to understand. mingi def possesses a different kind of intelligence but that kind of intelligence is on the same level of yeosang iw ould say! so it's easiest to think of it as mingi has a different kind of smartness compared to someone like say,,,,jongho or san who both have very good and high emotional intelligence!

1) DOES the man have a conscience? this interim is very telling in that regard and his thought process and the what some would call "intrusive thoughts" really showcase who he is as a person!

2) there are so many layers to him and you really get it bc he does keep everyone at arms length, even seonghwa to some degree bc the whole reason him and seonghwa aren't together is bc hongjoong shut him down the moment seonghwa started expressing his feelings towards hongjoong, he likes to keep to himself and doesn't like to leave his space for many reasons but we now know that one of those reasons is the past feelings of failure and loss coming back to haunt him, and bingo right on the money, he changes the way he wants to come across to people. prime example in yunho at the end of the interim, i think that scene is the absolute best showcase of hongjoong's character and who he is and how he operates.

3) he is DAMN CRAZY!!! i feel like i haven't so much shown that to the degrees that his character really is batshit insane so we're tiptoeing into those waters more now. you do have to think though, with the notion that he changes the way he wants to come across to people, when he's being "called out", is it accurate? or is it what hongjoong is presenting so they think they know what kind of person he is? when mc calls him out on his shit, it's often a two way punch where it as much about her as it is about him so much to think about! he's far far beyond a control freak tehe :3

the fun paradox in mc is that dynamic of wanting to be approved and accepted by him but also having this point blank issue with authority and also how hongjoong excises his authority. and that's been a big point of confusion too i think so im trying to delve more into it and expose more of it so that it makes more sense but there is meant to be a contradiction in her actions for sure

yeosang has been the only one to beat hj at chess, and he is not the lieutenant. we know that hongjoong personally selected seonghwa before yeosang joined the crew and that the position has never swayed, and we also know that yeosang is the master strategist on the crew, which is something a lieutenant would usually take care of so it lends to some questions about how hongjoong views authority in his crew? as far as the chess game goes, his queen was indeed seonghwa, the main bishop he used to both attack and sabotage his own pieces was san, he himself was king, then though not as heavily touched on, the other pieces i had in mind were: mingi and jongho were both knights, yeosang was the other bishop, then mc, wooyoung, and yunho were pawns. who minho was really referring to ;) is quite the twist but a fun one :3

bless you for sending me such a long ask at such a late hour you're so sweet ;-; it made my day i was so happy and excited seeing it thank you for letting me ramble right back at you :3 <3

[inkyajax]

What do the genshin men (ajax, thoma and ayato and alhaitham) feel towards the reader? Do they all think they are in love?? Somehow I cant picture ayato in love, it feels more like how much he likes the power he holds over both thoma and reader. Ajax feels like a puppy overflowing with love and lust, obsession and passion...and somehow alhaitham seems like the most normal one hahahaa what do you think??

omg anon IN LOVE with this question!!!!!! beware, i rambled a LOT beneath the cut!! <3

so for the most part, i agree with you! i do think ayato is capable of being in love but it definitely isn’t healthy or ‘real’ love and it absolutely comes from a place of power, control, and ownership. i was talking to my best friend about this not too long ago and was saying that irl i don’t think ayato and i would get along because to me, he would want a precious, obedient, submissive little thing that’s going to almost always be good for him and dote on him, that absolutely lives to please him and do exactly as he says because they find their primary worth and validation in being good for him—he is such a busy man with so much resting on his shoulders that the last thing he wants to come home to is a serious brat (me). i, on the other hand, would act out because he’s been gone *all day* and i want attention, and i just don’t think he would want to deal with that at all. i think he can handle a very slight brattiness, just to keep things fun and interesting, but anything more serious than that and he’s throwing u out.

(and then with thoma, i see him as a service dom/switch. he aims to please, and he enjoys pleasing his baby (and ayato). he likes to be told what to do and how to do it, and he finds a lot of validation in serving others/caring for others).

ajax my beloved!!!!!!!! YES YES YES one hundred million percent yes anon!! like i said, i personally feel like he has these borderline yandere tendencies. he’s possessive, protective, obsessive, and extremely clingy. but his love is fierce and real and absolutely smothering. when he loves, he loves HARD, he loves forever. he’s extremely committed to you and he is willing to fall on his sword for you in an instant. BUT he expects you to feel the same way. he expects you to love him back just as fiercely and he expects you to submit to him completely and wholly. he sees you as his most prized possession, and he fully intends to treat you like the royalty you are (whether you like it or not). he believes it’s his job to protect and support you and he takes this incredibly seriously.

alhaitham i could write you an entire paper on to be honest!!!! he’s really interesting. i think that it’s difficult to genuinely catch his attention but when he does fall in love with you, you have him for life. i agree that his love would be the most healthy/normal out of the four. i think he enjoys taking care of (and being smarter than and teaching) you to some extent; he likes that power and control, and i hc him to genuinely enjoy teaching others as well, one of those types that just loves to whip out their impressive breadth of knowledge—a vast collection of carefully curated facts and pieces of information—and show off. so he would enjoy teaching you new things and/or about topics you are not knowledgeable on, relishing in the way your eyes sparkle at how intelligent he is, secretly basking in the praise and the adoration—the only hints he likes it at all being the slight quirking up at the corners of his lips and the way his gaze softens and shimmers, the way his voice is suddenly dusted with icing sugar; tender, sweet—and he would enjoy learning new things from you, too!

with that being said, he is not here to lead you (like ayato would), he is here to guide you, to journey with you, and be just a teensy bit smarter, stronger, wiser, and better than you (leading requires way too much responsibility and, as we all know, the man is not about that. he doesn’t ever want to be bogged down with obligations and duties in that sense! they get in the way of his own endless pursuits of knowledge, and hinder his spontaneity). he isn’t looking for a pet to own, he’s looking for a genuine partner. this is why i think he’d be such a great daddy dom!!! he genuinely wants the best for you and genuinely wants you to keep improving yourself, while also being able to enjoy being the superior, the one in charge, the one calling the shots.

[andyklingensmith]

Archival #15 [Long]

Spring 2023

Kissing the hand in the dark All of your lips course and spark Raising the hairs on her fingers like trees in wildfire lose bark

.

.

Nothing will ever placate

my nature’s indiscretion

An everyday intoxicant

A gauntlet of obsession Scriptwriter, would you not write me wise? What is ironic about the look in your eyes?

I cannot see

you easily

but I feel the film careening

I hope they capture

the way that you are

.

.

The temperature plummets I cannot face the wind I am radiating heat and steam rises from me like a hissing snake slithering in the blue morning skyward over a copse of trees

.

.

Someday there will be a change and we will all feel it.

.

.

No landmarks No good or bad No consequence No decision No direction No closure

No end

.

.

Red flag, freezing wave Caught between movement

At the mercy of two hands Fingers at a half-mast

.

.

I steal a cup to collect you in I shake it on the streets with my head bowed low

The pedestrian shuffle sounds like your name repeating

Who am I to you? Who am I to anyone?

.

.

Will you let me find a new way to say these words?

A different way A better meaning

Like how moving furniture can really change a space

.

.

The floor that gave with every step.

.

.

It sees the bigger picture

It hands me an eraser

It wants me to know

the mistakes I am making

It wants me to change

but I do not

And my ears close and my throat closes and I wonder if death is worth fearing at 29

.

.

When was the last time I stayed out til I feared the sun would see me?

When was the last time I felt his eyes upon my head as I turned away to sleep in agony?

In the morning he’s still watching me and I wonder what he thought about the words I spoke in my dreams

.

.

You pass a witness on the path

Your way divided A yellow dash

Reflection only in pavement passed Beneath like bows on presents wrapped

Giftgive in silence,  in nods and glance A strange encounter A stranger dance The denim, blue on blue black bike chain

Grease on my pant leg I mix it with air I pat the way down and continue on.

.

.

I have one minute and it’s all I’ll ever need.

.

.

I’ve been taught

the most and the quickest

by the people who know the least

I have been given a scythe

with no deadline

for a field of wheat

Final stalk uncut

I grasp it gently between my fingers

and cut it like I were loosing a ballon

.

.

Two streams moving beneath two gentle stars.

.

.

I want to start making promises

but I’ve never known

something that cant be broken

.

.

Tiny sips at a manageable pace Banging a stack of paper on a desk 40 corners and then You turn

your back

I twist

spin in the chair form a cycle in my heart and keep you deep

down there

.

.

It is possible that the world may spin without an impossible complication

There are mornings which may rise without melody in the throats of men

The silence is not empty It is working too, whispering the implication between me and you

.

.

Fake everything.

.

.

The spider in the ice cube You saw it as you filled You didnt care to warn it You turned away and killed It melts down in your water and climbs upside the cup And falls into your stomach and never comes back up

.

.

Birds at nightfall

but which will be

the last to sing

a song for me

If one is followed

in tune by two

I wait for three

or else it’s you

.

.

I will never amount to anything and twenty minutes ago I considered how likely it was I could never write a word again

I am looking down a million pinholes backwards through time so what is a pair of binoculars to the Abyss Watcher? What is age to the man about to die?

If you are reading this then it is too late I see your eyes now moving across the sky in an extraterrestrial pattern Deep in the distance you are waving the world away and I mistake it for a greeting

.

.

Fog is lifting.

[sajaffery]

2...

i choose to use the word type theere because this isnt wrting. this is just typing. infact its not even typing because im still thinking as im writing this its the wrttten down equivalent to talking. there doesnt seem to be a word for that. not one that i can think of anyway but there should be. were unable to edit our conversations the words that come out of our mouth when were talking to another person which is what im doing here ineffect. im speaking to the millions and millions of people. maybe not millions because tumblr is a dying medium. like all the good ones. except mybe facebook. i’m glab ffacebook is dying. that what everyone says anyway although i find it hard to believe because i can still see mark zuckerberg’s smug little billionare face evrywhere . shit i just miss spelled everywhere and i had to physically restrain myself from correcting it. but no i wont. i cant. because ive aleady said it. ive already said it to every tumblr user. is there a verb for that? fuck is it even a verb? or is it a noun? i cant remember. dead white men dead white men. who cares i dont. im brown and im very much alive. i cant edit the words that come out my mouth so i refuse to edit the words that are coming ut of my hands. i like that. im a craftman whi works with his hands a nd words are my trade. shit i should have said tradesman. well i can say it now. because thats what i would have done if i were saying these words. but i dont say words. i just write them. and if they were good enough to come out my hands then theyre good to be read as is. definietly not good enough to be published on a actual physical paper ofcourse because that costs money. (ignore that a) and resourse are finite etc etc. i studied economics so i should know. but publishing on the internet is free. and we like free. everyone likes free. so that what i’m doing. im starting to lose my train of thaough here. so perhaps i should stop for the day, but i cant for some reason. and i just read back over what i wrote. im not sure if i can do that because when you lose your train of though in real life youre unable to physically go through it word by word to…find it? do you find yoyr train of thought? that really doesnt sound right but it must be. what else could be the oppisite of losing your train of thought. dead white men and theire proverbs. who needs them. i felt pride and being able to remember the word proverb there. but i shouldn’t!!!! fuck english grammer and its impreialistic agendas. i refuse it and i aim to use this…blog..oh god that was painful to write, because i usually hate bloggers, theyre always trying to sell something to you. and yet they none of them look like willy loman, who is the only salesman i’ve ever felt any kinship towards. a literary refernce there to make myself feel good, even if it was a cliched one. but yes i suppose this is a blog even if id like to tell myself its not. but ive just decided to make it long enough to no longer be considered a blog. im just going to keep adding to it. after all the whole point of a blog is to have a point. yech that came out terribly but i cant edit it! oh battery running low. okay okay okay think. and…i cant of course…because that how it always work. but i can stop typing. because i can stop talking. theoretically. but i cant reread. and im losing that fucking train again.

[marsixm]

im so tired of customers this week, yesterday i was explaining to the girl training in the booth that all the info on the typical slip we have customers fill out when they dont have one includes name address phone number. customer immediately starts in about how shes not writing her address down on any paper. im like ok cool im just telling her what the info is because im training her. customer gets mad at me and calls me sassy like. im literally stuck in here 8 hours a day (9 hours that day) 5 days a week and yall can just walk up and be rude to me a million times like youre the sassy one jfc. and then last week this other woman asked me if we were open (clearly i wasnt my ropes were up) and i said no sorry. she cant hear me. i repeat myself. twice. as soon as she can hear me she yells at me for being rude to her ??? like idk if its the customer service customers or its just a time of the year or what but everyones such a fucking asshole. and if i try to just be a normal person and be positive and chatty they all seem annoyed like . ok do you want me to be curt and standoffish or a human being? ill be whoever i want to be so idc. im sick of people @ large like yall can deal with my weird autistic self or fuck off honestly

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[solarpowerlesbian]

lately i have been. REALLY wanting to write a novel. no i don't have a plot. no i don't have characters. no i don't even have a vague idea what i’d write about. yes i have still been fantasizing about writing a novel

[eliotsmagic]

.

[viharbinger]

Beach Episode HCs!

pairings: xiao x itto x diluc x scaramouche x reader

warnings: none, fluffff, some swear words

a/n: im going to the beach soon mwuhahah

genshin m.list

Xiao

The type of person to hog the umbrella shades at the beach. He'd just watch you play and swim in the water while downing his third fruit drink of the day

Only ever gotten up for bathroom breaks but hisses whenever taken out of the shades like a vampire, so good luck trying to even get him to the water

If you somehow get him out though, congratulations! But now you have to hear him mope about it all the time

He gives so many excuses to get out. "Wait, I forgot to put on sunscreen..." He'd say, barely even getting to the sea before walking away. Or even creating a fake scenario just to get out of it like forgetting to turn off the stove at home lol

It's not like he doesn't want to spend time with you, what im saying is Xiao is like a cat

Instead of dying in the blazing sun and tasting the salty waters, his best idea of spending time is you two just enjoying yourselves under the shades, playing soft music with drinks in hand. And maybe even napping in front of the beautiful scenery

Itto

Itto LOVES the beach!

He'll show off his precious abs to everyone and have water fights with his gang, dragging you along too!

Tried to host an onikabuto match with a random little kid he met at the beachside but was banned from doing so lol

Not many romantic things happen in the beach for you and Itto. It's honestly just you, him and his gang hanging out together and shooting water guns at each other

Unless... You count taking care of Itto as romantic.

Itto did not wear his sunscreen. He'd definitely been reminded to a million times before but right at the moment he was about to swim, he forgets and boom. He's red, ALL over.

I dont know what to tell you other than the fact that sunburns hurt like a bitch so you really needed to take care of him when you both got home lol

So there you were, nursing the crimson oni back to health and him cursing himself for not listening to you

Diluc

A big papa bear with a ton of SPF

He's gonna be covering you from the sun, constantly, not just with sunscreen but with his literal build. He's just standing over you, hands over you acting as a shade and it's just embarrassing

But still, its like having a scary dog privilege. And Diluc does not like people looking at you, at the beach too! So this is definitely a plus for the both of you

I literally cant imagine Diluc wearing anything else except an open button-up and swim trunks. Everyone in the beach would gawk at him because lawd, those abs are just something aren't they

Just because he's a little overbearing and embarrassing, it doesn't mean he's not fun! Ok nevermind he's not fun. The man somehow brought his paperwork with him to the beach, you just wonder how he even brought it when he had zero bags

You had to wet it just to get him up from his seat, writing who knows what in the never ending papers

Diluc is so protective and caring that even if you accidentally drink saltwater, he's already running straight to a juice bar to help you wash it down

Scaramouche

A vampire (x2)

He's like Xiao, but worse. He'll have you dragging him on the sand just to get him across the beach to the sea, it's hell

The sun is so hot in the summer and he just does not want to risk having sunburns! Why do you think he wears such a big hat all the time?

He just thinks the beach is a 'stupid waste of time' but with a little push, he'll start to enjoy it

Before you know it, he's in the water, several feet in and splashing water at you. And on one occasion, the water hit his eyes, and oh it stung. He's bummed out and sulking in the shades and whining constantly about it

Only way you can change his mind is to bribe him with cuddles and kisses when you get home

He won't ever admit that he had the most fun at the beach. And it's basically his best day ever because he got a just the right amount of affection from you in the end of the day too