#i cant pay it myself because all my money goes to RENT.

[thedisablednaturalist]

My parents found out about the present I bought myself for my birthday. I worked my max hours to afford it. I had it shipped to my bfs house so they wouldn't see it. Apparently I missed a receipt that was hidden in the box. Idk how they got it anyway cause I put the box out with the trash/recycling. My mom was being so cruel about it and how I keep buying myself "lavish" gifts (most stuff I buy for fun is like $10-$50 max). I always plan my purchases and have never missed a credit card payment. Most of my money goes towards doctors visits, medication, car maintenance and gas, accessibility items/ergonomic stuff, cat food and litter, and hygiene. Recently I stopped most of my subscriptions save for a cheap minecraft server. The bulk of my pay goes into savings which have really grown since I got my raise. I also give my parents $400 in rent each month. I'm trying to save up for a recliner to replace my bed but I don't want to use the money I've already put away.

Like ok, maybe I'm not mr.frugal. maybe i sometimes buy more expensive things because they're more convenient (like already cut vegetables/fruit or preprepared meals) but like my hands fucking hurt and sometimes I don't have the spoons to feed myself. Maybe I fall prey to impulse purchases once in a while. Im learning and I'm trying to learn how to budget bc now I have to also pay for insurance until I can get on medicaid.

My mom acts like I don't care. She sees amazon packages come for me and think theyre all toys or expensive skincare or junk when its actually body wipes for when I cant shower/so i dont come back from the field to the office all stinky. Its a trash can I can keep on my bedshelf so I dont throw trash onto the floor instead. Its knee braces because my knees fucking suck. Once in a while Ill see something on sale that ive been wanting for a while and will grab it. And the most expensive skincare I use is $20 for a jar that lasts me 3 months. I have to keep my skin clear or ill pick and have scabs and blood all over my face again. I spend money on drag because it MAKES me money. Last time I got paid $100 from the venue and $50 in tips. One time I got paid $300 from the venue (i dont remember how much in tips).

Im trying my best. Im working with 3 government agencies rn to get a job and get health coverage. Im working my ass off at my job when i probably shouldnt be working (my mom laughed when I mentioned this). I'm constantly doing things to earn me money or to make life a bit less painful. Even streaming is a desperate attempt to make a career/side gig out of something I enjoy and doesn't make me flare up. I only watch shows when im with my bf or when im doing chores or working. I rarely play video games. When I flare I lay in bed and scroll Tumblr or play a mindless dress up game where I only have to move my thumb. I cry almost everyday. I cry on the way to work. I cry holding my cat in so much pain i cant move.

The only big frivilous purchases I've made is the present and a new graphics card (I haven't replaced my old one in a decade). The present cost $230 and the graphics card cost $800. Both of these I saved for. I might buy a nice skirt once in a while but thats pretty much it. I also spread out big purchases over time when I can.

Am I spoiled? Maybe. Maybe my parents are right and I'm a lazy spoiled kid who just makes excuses. But my pain is real, constant, and severe.

I have friends who's birthday presents consist of trips to fucking italy or the bahamas. Who complain when their parents drag them on yet another international vacation. Some are amazing people who are grateful and work their asses off. And some of them are a bit entitled. My mom said most 26 year olds are living on their own with jobs and I fucking laughed. The only 26 year olds with their own apartments especially in my area either have 5 roommates in a 2 bedroom shithole, got lucky and have a high paying tech job, their parents pulled strings to get them hired, or their parents are paying partly or fully for their apartment.

And when i tried to find an apartment? She discouraged me and told me id never be able to afford one (correct) but now im suddenly able to when it suits her argument? Ive been heavily job hunting for over a year and got ONE interview who ghosted me after two interviews. I make $2k MAX. Rent in my area is $1700-2500 for a freaking studio. The $1700 one doesn't let you see the apartment and gets snapped up immediately. And these are all apartments within a 2 hour radius. All the "affordable housing" is for people 55 and older.

Like I literally have no options. I can't move until I get a job in that area. I can't leave the country cause Im disabled and also thats fucking expensive. My bf makes less than me and even combined we couldn't afford a place.

Literally, I've never been suicidal before. Ive never struggled with that due to my fear of death. But all of this? Ive recently had suicidal thoughts and its fucking scary. Thoughts that killing myself would make it easier for everyone else. That it would be easier to just end it, that life will always be a living hell and i should just give up. And thats fucking scary! I shouldn't have those thoughts! But that's how bad it is.

I try to do what my therapist told me. I try to set boundaries. But setting a boundary means not eating dinner bc I leave when my parents yell at me. I try to think positively and ignore the pain. I probably walk an average of 1-2 miles a day. I try and try and try and it hurts so much. They can't be proud of me? For even big victories? Guilting me about graduation cause I took too long. Keeping a job for more than a year (its not a REAL job cause its hourly and doesnt have benefits).

Like what's the point? I've been fighting and fighting and most of the world wants to see me dead and gone anyway. I'm trying to work in a field that doesn't even consider people like me. If I cant work Ill just bring my boyfriend and my family down. Every step forward I manage to take I get dragged back 10.

Im so tired and ashamed and stressed and my fucking body hurts worse now because of the stress and i just dont want to wake up tomorrow.

[bonesofwomanhood]

Things managed to get worse somehow. I dont even know what to say, i talk a lot but somehow i'm speechless.

My dad pays my rent while i pay the rest which is not a good deal as i want to pay rent myself (mostly so i can stop talking to him) but whatever. I live by myself because living with him meant i was gonna kill myself and i almost did. Good, right?

Well, i have been looking for a job -an actual job, not the freelancing stuff i do since i was 18- for months now and i had my mind set on it. Get a job, stay away from everyone, easy, right? Except that our country is in 2001 2.0 so yeah, oh Argentina always being my toxic boyfriend.

There's a huge chance i end up living with him again, unless a miracle happens and i get hired which i hope will happen but if it hasn't happened in months... and im terrified, honestly.

I have done a few advances, very little but still, good enough for me. If i go with him, i cant leave the house as in, due to my phobia, i will not be able to go to the fucking garden (reason why i moved out years ago) i cant eat or sleep properly there because i'm just terrified. I cant stand being with him all day. If i move, finding a place to go when i finally move out will be harder and i dont think i will make it and i had also just really made up my mind on not talking to him. God.

It's in moments like this one when i hate myself the most. If i was healthy, if my agoraphobia didn't exist then i would have more chances on doing something, right? And it's so pathetic, i'm so pathetic.

When i think about basic things like working out of home, taking a bus, going on dates -things i should be able to do, as girls my age do- i feel so stupid. If you look for the word pathetic you'll find a picture of me.

All i think about since my birthday in november is that, getting a job outside of home, going on dates, going somewhere by bus with friends, having children... the realisation that i wont have children has destroyed me, how can i be a good mother when i cant even take them to school? And i want a kid so badly, i have her name chosen, God.

Every day is a realisation of the things i cant do, if i ever somehow become able to do them, they're not gonna be "organic" or whatever, im not gonna enjoy them. The little things i can do -going by car (which btw is so expensive so i can barely do that!!) to a restaurant and eat inside- i dont really enjoy, im always just, terrified but i do them because of course i want to do things other than be home and of course i want to spend time with people i love! But it always ends up in fighting because i spend *my* money so i can go by car and because we eat inside of the restaurant instead of outside under the sun and and and... its tiring. And now this.

Since my birthday i've had this feeling that i wont live until im 30. Being 24 terrifies me, i've been sick since i was 6, i cant just go back in time and each second that goes by with me being me is a lost second, a lost minute, a wasted life. As soon as i turned 24 i had this feeling of "this is it" like, no matter what i do, my life was gonna end around 25. I accidentally saw a few stuff that triggered me and made that thought even more realistic and so, since november, that's all i think about and now... what if i was right? I have no other choice. Either a miracle happens and i get a job or i die, i cant go back there so i dont really see many options.

I always knew if i die, it's my dad who will find me, he is the one that lives closer. I dont think i care tbh, whatever!! But this just makes me think, what if this is just it? I dont think i care about my future anyway, i dont have many plans, althought the fact that i've been crying so hard over this, well...

I dont know. And the other day a friend texted me a lot and i didn't reply and she called me terrified thinking i had killed myself and i laughed it off but i feel like the worst person in the world.

I feel like an attention seeker and that makes me feel so humilliated but whatever, this is like screaming into the void so that's good.

[fruitybugboy]

My car got repossessed and i had to go to my parents for help to get it back and though they are reasonably pissed with me about it:

• i wanted a used car but when i was buying due to situations out of my control that were NOT my fault i needed a cosigner and my parents wouldnt do it unless i got a brand new car, they would not budge so i was saddled with a $500 a month car payment i had to pay alone.

• i told them repeatedly i was behind on payments asked them to help me with one month so the car wouldnt be repossessed they said no (as is their right i know they have their own expenses)

• the car was repossessed the day after i got paid and was about to make a payment to get me out of the red zone

• they told me not to take out a loan to cover the car payments and to just go to them for help. Almost everytime i did this they would ignore me or tell me no and i’d be forced to choose to either feed myself and my partner and pay our rent or pay the car. My partner was unemployed for almost two months while actively looking for work so i was the only source of income and they knew this information, i obviously chose a roof over our heads and food over the car. My parents are directly mad at me for this choice.

• they, knowing i have severe anxiety especially when ignored by them (due to past trauma of them doing this multiple times to me) have decided to vaguely threaten me and then ignore every message i have sent since.

• they have vaguely threatened to make me move back home (i am a 24 year old adult, with a partner) i will not do this because i am an adult and they also do not respect my identity as a trans man or a queer person in general

• they told me before the radio silence they will contact me when they have thought of a good enough “consequence for my actions”

• my actions that need consequences are me not paying the car payment so i could stay housed and fed, asking for help, being too poor for a car payment they didnt really give me a choice in despite knowing i couldnt afford it.

• i from the moment of finding out i needed their help with the repossession costs have fully intended on paying them back the full amount no matter how long it takes

I know i fucked up my parents finances and my mothers credit score with this i know that, i feel awful, i also know and have expressed that though they have said they “did not do this for me” but to save their own finances, that i know how extremely lucky and fortunate i am that they were able and willing to help me even indirectly. What i cant get over is how shitty they are treating me about this. I thought my relationship with my parents had gotten a lot better but i feel like im in highschool again just shutting down so they can scream at me until theyre done, and then being ignored like i dont exist at all hntil they are ready to scream at me some more.

I logically know they cannot do anything to me but make me pay them back but the fear response i have to their intense anger is making me miserable and ive begun to break out in stress caused eczema hives on my hands.

I know i fucked up but i dont spend frivolously, i dont eat out, i havent bought myself anything in months except clothes that i bought at work on sale with my employee discount because i didnt have anything work appropriate that didnt have holes or stains (a necessary purchase bc i work in clothing retail and have to “represent the brand”) all of my money goes directly to bills and food i dont know what i could have done that i didnt already do other than pull out loans behind their back to cover the car which they also would have been pissed at me for.

[raerae-the-potato]

I Just want to understand my feelings.

I do know and fully aware that my feelings are valid no matter how bad it may seems to others. So here it goes...

I do love my parents, despite of their shortcomings and trauma they've given me ahaha but when I moved out and started living away from them, I always feel like I am isolating myself from them. It feels like I don't want to go home again. Its hard to explain, I do miss them a lot especially my mother but I don't feel very obligated to go home and visit them. Others may think I am a bad daughter, but God knows how much I wanted to earn a lot of money just to end their problem and have an easy life. God knows how I wanted to be very capable of providing their needs and anything they've been wanting to have.

Growing up, life was definitely so hard. The constant problem about money fed me up. We are renting all our life and monthly payment is always a problem to my parents. I understand these struggle so early that I remember not wanting to go home after school because the aura in our house was so bad because we cant pay rent again. I am not blaming my parents since they are also came from a poor family, they didn't get a chance to finish school so you know, opportunities are not a lot. Its just that its hard growing up worrying each day, each month if are we going to survive financially.

Not just financially, I was also struggling growing up about my parents themselves. I lived in a constant anxiety and fears. Due to struggling in money, my father used to deal with it using alcohol and being drunk. My father is a total monster when he is drunk and whenever that happen we are having a long night dealing with a monster. Many times even when I was so young, he is attacking my mother also me and my sister. A lot of times I remember seeing my mother with bruises and black eye, there's always blood on her. Being a child, I convinced myself that my father is capable of killing us all, I know he can because I've never saw him hesitate whenever when he's throwing things and punches to my mother. They also always fight even on a little things but mostly money. How my parents deal every problem was embarrassing. I also remember my father always want to cause scene when he's drunk. He is not embarrassed by it, he always humiliate us by being a drunk. He's a narcissist, a total asshole. I am always angry with mother's decision of not leaving my father even though my father's behavior to her and her daughters was very unacceptable.

And now, they are making their two daughters as their retirement plan . Again, I'm not blaming them I am aware of our status growing up. My sister already spent A LOT of money just to keep my parents comfortable living off the grid and very remotely in Rizal. I always told her that its not worth it and it may cost a lot since we are also need to pay for our cost of living in the city but she really approves my parents wants. I always reminding her how much she already spent for them but always left with nothing. She even compromising herself and health just to support our parents everyday needs. She is giving everything for them and she is struggling even in her simple needs. She is now drowning with loan debt. I really cant understand her. Totally. I don't know why she's having a hard time making decision when its clear that she's just spending money with no insurance and always left nothing but debt.

Being with them is stressing and exhausting. Being with them always reminding me that I needed to earn a lot of money. being with them makes me afraid of the future, because we still don't have any assets, no savings and still living paycheck to paycheck and they are soon to enter 60s.

Me going home gives them opportunity to tell me all the problem they're having everyday. telling me they need this amount of money to have this and that. ITS EXHAUSTING!!! I really have no idea how my sister is dealing with all these. I can understand if she's depressed right now. She doesn't even consider to have a family and child on her own! HAHHAAHA

That's why. My trauma response is to get myself out and away from those people who caused me pain, fear and stress.

I hate this feeling so much, but its valid. This is just me finally being capable of living away from the chaos I've been living for many years since I was a child. This is just me finally having freedom.

I do love them, but its just really exhausting.

[abra-ka-dammit]

every day that goes by unemployed is another cupful into the pool of fury at my previous employer for doing this to me. for uprooting my life that was only barely into the ground as it was, for paying me so shittily that i literally couldnt have savings so i have nothing to fall back on. for making me job hunt again in an Emergency sort of way when i only got THAT job after like a year+ of applications to shit. "real" jobs dont want ~People Who Can Draw~. It's fucking hard to get a role in shit you have no examples of doing before. I can't DO a lot of the shit companies want--either due to lack of training/knowledge/experience or because they want a "graphic designer" that covers every possible imagery medium known to man including photography and video editing

ive barely even gotten interviews and the ones that i did have all got nowhere. as March's rent approaches i am having more and more of a background panic attack. When that rolls through, and my credit card payment, insurance, electricity, etc.... if it doesnt just overdraw me im likely gonna end up with a 2 or if im lucky barely 3 digit balance left (and all that presuming i buy literally nothing else the whole time & im psure i dont have enough food to last lol)

the shittiest thing is i dont have the money needed to break my lease either bc it lasts till the end of may and the fine is like what, half the rent of the remaining months or smth? like lmfao. if i cant afford the rent anymore how would i afford that??? also moving fees....or what am i gonna do, make my almost 70 year old father move everything? I couldn't even lift a car battery myself. do i just offload all my belongings to a goodwill? do i live in my SUV with 3 cats? do i need to become a sex worker?? how the fuck do i get through this???

[fanartfunart]

I have not realized How Much Money I save from being able to Craft all my Christmas/Birthday presents.

God I can't IMAGINE having to Buy Stuff.

[thesofttones]

I dream a lot about flying.. I've had this dream ever since I was little

Where I start walking and suddenly I take off into the air and start flying away from everyone... it usually happened every time I felt like I was being punished or trapped and as of right now in my situation right now I am.

Hi.. my name is samantha or you can also call me sky.. I've been through some pretty traumatic things in my life starting from my childhood to even now.. I'm worried where my life may end up if the toxic life I'm living keeps up... people say you can make your own path and choose your own journey ...but it's been very hard for me to do that ever since I was little I've been in very abusive and toxic situations with not only verbal abuse but physically too... I was told when I was young I could never go to a friend's house I could never go for a walk anywhere and I could never be left alone. At the age of 19 I was still getting babysat by my next door neighbor I couldn't have a friend over at all... and I did try to leave once or twice just to go for a walk but once I left the door and ignored what they said about leaving they started threatening calling the police on me for leaving....In my home was somewhere I never wanted to go because it scared me...I was scared of the fist hitting me across the mouth and my lip always splitting. I was scared of the booming roar of the voice yelling at me, punishing me for self harm. Telling me it's a mess instead of calling the ambulance or cops or something to help me

And now I'm in this situation

I was homeless

For 2 years in a hospital

Crying almost every night wishing I had someplace to call home someplace I'd be at peace someplace I'd be happy..

How did I become homeless?

Well..

It started when I broke my ankle and leg into a compound fracture...while being on my last eviction notice for my apartment

Yea wow I finally got my own place...

But guess who had controlled over alllllll my money and wasnt paying my rent...

You guessed it

The abuser

I was walking back into my apartment from the rain and I didn't see a dryer sheet on the floor and BOOM slipped ankle went BACK'WORDS AND BONE POPPED RIGHT OUTTA MY LEG

I started SCREAMING for help..

Luckily my neighbor came to help

Next thing I know ...I'm in the hospital and a week goes by and they tell me I've been evicted........

Great!

Homeless year 1

A year goes by I'm DEFINITELY depressed wasnt allowed to go outside at all besides the court yard.. and the patients there were mean old ladys

But I got out

( I thought )

They put me in a retirement home.....

I was upset ..I had to deal with old people staring and judging me... and they literally were

They were bullies they would talk behind my back all because I was young did different makeup had piercings and ya was kinda overweight...

I felt so out of place...

After 1 month of being there I ended back in the hospital because the abuser wasnt even paying the rent there either

Homeless year 2

The nurses mistreated me a lot...

They would tell me my seizures were fake because apparently they've seen all seizures and mine is a fake one even if my lips are turning blue it's still fake. Even if I'm coughing up blood it's still fake... I didnt understand..... I tried ending my life a lot but they did absolutely nothing but get mad at me for it...I remember the time I tried giving myself a heart attack by drinking 1 entire tub of Nescafe instant coffee and all the nurses were saying was " your getting really annoying sam and I'm kind of getting sick of it " ...thanks that helps me mental health lots

But now...

August 5th

The day I left the hospital

The day they promised my freedom back

The day they said I would have peace restored and this would go on to be better for me.......

I was excited...

I have no freedom here..just as I had none at the hospital for 2 years...I'm not allowed to leave...go for walks...no not even a short walk or across the street....I cant have friends over...I cant go to friends...I cant get a job...I just sit ...in the home...

And currently my funding is gone it's been gone for 6 months now...so I have to wait till I get it back with a trustee but rent is 2500 a month here and that's most of what I make ...

I'm scared...

And trapped...

My heart hurts...

I want to be free........

[hanniiesuckle17]

Dating Seo Changbin

A/n: I am so sorry this took so long!!! i hope you like it <3 oof its been a while since I've done this style so here we go

Requested: @mrsunshine999

Tag List: @distrikt9 @mini-meanhoee @poeticallyspaghetti @hanstagrams @desertofdessert @hoes4hoseok @yangomangos @jeonqqin @geminirules @crscendoforsung @mrsunshine999 @jisungsjheekies @hannie-squirrel00 @cotccotc @multi-net​

Warnings: cussing, changbin being best boi, 

First of all....reader you are one lucky bitch.

Dating THE changbin

damn

Changbin is definitely one of the more domestic boys

He thriiiives with being a cuddly soft boyfriend

You probably met his parents on like your fourth date

But it was like a surprise thing 

He was like “Stop by my place because I’ve got to take care of somethings before we go out”

and you were like sure whatever so you get there like twenty minutes early and knock on the door

changbin opens and says you can wait in the living room while he is grabbing some things

first of all you notice his house is super fuckin nice

you’re like “mental note to ask who his decorated is” 

so he goes off and you walk in the living room and there are his parents just looking at you with kind expectant smiles

and you’re like “ummmm.........hello........changbin’s parents....”

changbin is like walking in and out of the room completely unaware that you are lowkey shitting your pants because omg his parents are right there and you were not prepared for this you were just promised food

its then you realize this is his parents house and he freaking tricked you into meeting them

by the time he sits down next to you on the couch you’ve practically sweated through your nice outfit and answered a billion questions

“I told you, I pick good ones mom- OW!” 

you pinched him really hard and made a nervous look towards the door. 

He laugh and got the message

the two of you said goodbye and you proceeded to whack him very hard the second the door closed behind you

loves to spoil you

anytime you're mad at him the next day you find a very expensive flower arrangement as well as a nice piece of jewelry on your desk or doorstep

he never lets you pay for anything

in fact the most common argument you have is about him spending too much money on you or not letting you pay

one time after a really big fight he secretly paid your rent for the month (which led to you yelling at him again)

“CHANGBIN YOU PAID FOR MY RENT?!”

“I thought I was doing a nice thing!”

“Yes it was very nice but I want to do things for myself!”

“But you’re so....baby....my baby....I wanna take care of you.”

“I AM NOT BABY!”

he thinks you look really cute when you’re mad so you never really end up getting anywhere with arguments like that

changbin is definitely a huge cuddler

likes being both little and big spoon

his favorite sleeping position is probably you sleeping on top of his chest so he can hug you like a teddy bear (you have replaced Munchlax haha)

probably takes you on the most aesthetic dates

he loves being your personal photographer

he can’t show you off on the skz insta so he probably has like a separate private account just to post really cute pictures of the you and him

changbin is a huge fan of couple clothes 

like any kind

his favorite is finding couple shoes like sneakers. 

he likes knowing that he could wear them onstage and bring a piece of you into the public view but its like his lil secret

changbin is like super no no about scandals so after a few months he probably announces the relationship before the press even think he is in one

changbin is like the pinterest boyfriend 

like he strives to be pinterest worthy

the boys give him so much shit about it but like lowkey he doesn’t care he just steals their coffee or something in revenge

he probably keeps like special products for you in his apartment

he always has the coffee or tea you like stocked in his kitchen

changbin is definitely the type to love hard and love fast so once this boy has you locked down in a relationship he just goes all in

you two probably move in together pretty quickly because this boy is just so anxious to be around you all the time

lowkey whiny once you move in 

“y/nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!”

“changbin you've said my name like 18 times what the hell do you want”

“i wanna hug.”

tries to use aegyo to get out of chores and housework

“I love dark my ass.” you say shoving a laundry basket in his arms and watching him pout 

late night gym dates at like two in the morning

the boys lowkey getting jealous of how much time he spends with you

Felix and Hyunjin basically live at your apartment

you don’t know how they got keys but somehow they are always there 

you’ll wake up one morning and felix will be randomly asleep on your couch for no reason

your dates are often crash by one of the boys but you honestly don’t mind because they are so much fun

changbin is actually the most caring and empathetic boyfriend

he always seems to know when you have a bad day or are just feeling bad about yourself

sometimes you don't even understand how he knows 

you’ll just be laying in bed on your phone after a really rough day and wanting to cry and changbin will just come up and give you the warmest gentlest bear hug 

he won’t say anything but he’ll just hold you until you want to talk or just cry it out

lets be honest changbin hugs would be the best tho

like he hugs with his whole being

in a relationship i feel like he is super affectionate so hugs are pretty common but he probably hugs differently for different circumstances

like he gives really gentle hugs when your sad and strokes your hair, kissing the top of your head

probably a big fan of quick side hugs when you're in public or with the boys

big cuddly hugs when you’re alone where he can rock you side to side or flop onto the couch with you

so ‘i love you’

again changbin falls fast and hard so he would for sure be the first one to fall in love

but he wants you to say it first because he knows sometimes he can move too quickly and he doesn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable

the first time you say it changbin is just so happy 

before you can even finish the sentence he’s already saying it back

“I love you-”

“I love you more.”

he never forgets an anniversary even if he is on tour

during one of their breaks he flew you out so you could celebrate together 

he loves traveling with you

even if its just a road trip or the two of you randomly decide to spend the weekend at a hotel that's thirty minutes from your house

changbin definitely knows what he wants in life so the second he decides you are the one for him he starts planning how he wants to spend his life with you

he loves having serious conversations with you about the future

changbin loves when the two of you invite all the boys over for dinner and it turns into a fancy dinner party and he cant help but picture you doing this five or six years from now and you have kids and are throwing dinner parties like this on the weekends

you too throw a HUGE Christmas party every year

like inviting lots of staff from the company and a bunch of family and friends 

so like one second you are talking to changbin’s sister and your mom then the next thing you know you are accidently bumping shoulders with fuckin BamBam from Got7 or Tzuyu from Twice and Jae is singing with Jisung in your living room

its like a huge fancy event that you and changbin throw at your place that you spend like a month planning for

everyone is dressed very nice and your house is spotless and flawlessly decorated with a brightly lit tree that you and changbin spent four hours decorating

by 9pm everyone is drunk on egg nog and opening presents from secret Santa 

changbin also never lets a Christmas go by without kissing you under the mistletoe 

the boys stay the night mostly because no one is sober enough to drag Jisung out of your house. 

So Christmas morning is always spent with the boys 

changbin always puts you first 

he is really considerate and always considers how his decisions will affect you (unless he’s trying to pay for something)

all in all changbin would just be the best boyfriend

congrat reader you landed an angel

Masterlist

[morbidlittlebitch]

Like how tf am i supposed to "stay positive" when every aspect of my life has gone to shit? The world around me has also gone to shit? Every fucking interaction i have the people are fucking shit and have negative attitudes and not nice or helpful at all. My landlord is a huge fucking asshole that wont do his job, anywhere i go for mental health treatment nowadays theyre all cold assholes that dont give a shit...im stuck paying rent in an apartment where the rent goes up every fucking year yet nothing ever gets fixed or replaced so its just falling apart, but cant fucking afford to move. I cant keep a job so i cant put money away, all my partner cares about is what they want and no matter how many talks we have it never changes. I cant be honest with or go to my family for a lick of help because theyve never been supportive when it came to my mental health going bad, it was always just me using it as an excuse to be lazy, i was doing it all "on puroose" etc. I dont have friends. The list goes on and on and honestly i think its about time i just fucking take myself out of this world because nothing ever gets better and im at my fucking limit. All i am is a failure and a disappointment that cant even function in society anymore. I have no place is in this world and i am done with it all.

[eirian]

im going insane so im going to tell you about it and by that i mean make a post to scream into the void about my troubles

this will be a rambly, stream of consciousness post so watch out. unmedicated adhd brain shenanigans are afoot

i feel like i need to draw for myself more. i try to very often, i do, but i still feel like im caught in the whole “if i dont draw for attention then whats the point” hellhole that ive been trying to get out of for years. but i feel like the reason for this is that i literally Need the attention to up my chances for commissioners??? because thats how i make a living rn???  like i literally rely on commissions as my main source of income and that pays for shit like rent and medication and appointments and food :( i barely buy shit for myself anymore b/c im putting it all towards needs and not wants

also im worried my merch wont pop off as well as it did when i first released the submas merch. i know those were in high demand, but im afraid the demand will go to single digit sales for them as well as everything else i sell.  im honestly thinking about just buying very small stock, maybe 10 of each item at most, and opening the orders that way (after i ship things out of course).  speaking of shipping my last shipment STILL hasnt come in and im a little frustrated b/c im like. bruh i need to ship out these preorders. im not gonna do preorders in the future i dont think, im waiting way too long for this stock to come in :( i dont want yall to wait forever for like..a keychain

ive been trying to work here and there on both villain + school and facets (facets is completely written and scripted, v+s just recently got solidified as an outline Finally) but i kinda only had energy to do so for One Day so im not sure when those’ll be out lmfao. sorry bout that

i want to make more ocs, i havent made new ocs in a hot minute and im like :( wah. my character design brain is kaput right now.  i wanna make more cool db ocs and such like i used to. it used to bring me so much joy.  or maybe even inazuma eleven ocs idk im just wanting New Boys

i have so much to do or at least so much i could be doing. like i could make new merch art but that feels pointless if i dont have the money to buy the merch. i still need to ship out my FIRST orders, christ.  and im trying so hard to get commissions rolling so i CAN ship out my shit but :( its a struggle. im struggling. god im stressed to hell and back hi

sometimes i do be like i wanna die !  but i wont.  i’ll be ok things will be ok.  i will get commissions its only the 6th.  i have time. and im going to check out some cons that i can maybe table at in the future. thatd be wonderful. fuck i need to reprint my business cards with my updated twitter im a little mad i ended up getting my account unsuspended right after i made those cards. at least i only made 50 of them i guess

i need like an online journal or something to write this shit into instead of like, a public tumblr post LMFAO. but i cant use washi tape online so there goes that /hj

i really really need to figure out a way to let the general furry population know that i will draw their stuff for commissions. like. i Will. i Have. i Can.  just give me a chance bro i’ll draw your inflation fetish art just give me a chance to make some money to live LOL.  i would draw more furry art but i am so unmotivated and sluggish its so hard..

i kinda feel like i should try to get back into adoptables too but ive been so depressed and down and unmotivated its really really hard for me to design things for myself let alone to sell. so im like ok now what i have no income. im too brain fucky to get a “real job” so im just like. sits here on my ass doing absolutely nothing except being sad.  ok so i might have depression

anyway life is hard thanks for putting up with me

[darkwillowz]

Hi, I'm Zan I'm 27 years old, I'm a queer individual living in Georgia with my dog Crater. Last year, just as the pandemic hit I was laid off from my corporate career that I loved very much and since then I have been struggling to keep myself and my family going in a rundown townhome with rent more expensive then what the place is worth. The CARES Act had been helping me with unemployment to at least help keep my rent at a point i wont be evicted and my phone on. Unfortunately, Georgia has abruptly withdrawn from the CARES Act and now I can no longer rely on money that was promised to me as all payments have stopped.

Since losing my job I have been falling very behind on bills:

Rent ( $900 a month ): My landlord is nice but I can tell he's annoyed that I can pay on time and I'm always struggling to come up with the full amount. I cant find anywhere cheaper to live so I'm stuck here and I'm worried he is gonna evict me if I don't start showing some stability in my payments.

Home Expenses: I am behind on a few utility bills, I keep them up enough for them to not go out but i am still always behind

Medical bills- I had to have three blood transfusions last year due to heavy bleeding from PCOS causing me to lose a lot of blood after taking a birth control that escalated my period. I had to go to the ER two times so my bills are pretty stacked up there.

Dog's Vet bills ( THIS HAS BEEN TAKEN CARE OF WITH CURRENT DONATIONS, THANK YOU! ): My dog Crater is in need to get all his shots up to date and I have had to keep pushing back his appointment because I cant afford it. I rather buy him food first so he can eat. I haven't been able to take him to any parks in a year because he's not up to date.

I do work Doordash and InstaCart to help with Food expenses and my Car payment which is $404.25 a month but my area is filled with Darshers and InstaCart Shoppers so I barely make enough to pay my car note and buy some cheap food From Dollar Tree after having to take money out to put gas in my car to keep working those jobs. Doordash and InstaCart also don't take out taxes so I have no Idea how much I'm gonna owe once tax season comes up.

Basically, I just need help to get back on my feet. I need a Financial pillow to put in my savings so I can get out of this hole that I have been thrown in since I was laid off and the pandemic hit. I am doing my best to look for a job that I can do with my health being the way as it is since Doordash and InstaCart isn't enough. I don't have any family besides my mom to help me but my mom has serious Health issues so all her money goes towards that and It doesn't feel right to ask her for help when she needs help as well.

I have been avoiding making a GoFundMe cause I feel like there are others out there who need help more then me but I am at a point where I feel like I'm about to drown and I was told that I should at least give it a try.

Please only donate what you are comfortable with because i know that we are all struggling these days and if you do donate then I forever appreciate of you.

Thank you.

[thislovve]

i'm still really embarrassed to be doing this post & my pride is a lil bruised but i really don't see any other option for me. i've debated saying anything because i always feel like other people need it way more than i do, but i'm desperate.

when corona first started, i was in a city one and a half hour away from my hometown, away from my family. cities were locked and i couldn't travel so i spent two weeks alone and sending money to dad because he was struggling a lot. all of this thinking i was going to get paid in april. turns out i won't. i didn't lose my job (i work at a school teaching third graders) but i wont be paid until everything gets back to normal. now im in a horrific situation.

it's been two weeks since i came home. in currently quarantining with my family. but things are complicated. my dad works with electrical stuff. basically, he goes to people's houses and install stuff for them, fix others, etc. but he doesn't work in a company or anything, he's self-employed. which means, if he doesn't work, he doesn't have money. and since we're isolating, he isn't working. he can't go into people's houses. im desperate. we're all desperate. it's him, me, and my 4 siblings living under the same roof, our money is running out and bills are approaching. for the last week all we've eaten is rice and beans. for every single meal.

i gave him every saving i had, for my rent and for taylor's show - which i dont think ill be attending because of this whole situation. i love her to death since 2006 and i have never seen her live before and i was really looking forward to it, but i can't bring myself to save money for it when my whole family might starve. i might have to stop going to college because i can't pay for it, and that means putting my degree on hold. and my apartments rent is due tomorrow and i have no idea of how ill pay for it. i've been crying for the last week trying to figure a way out of all this but i cant see any. i dont know what to do. i really don't.

i know everyone is financially struggling right now. and i feel so weird asking for help during this difficult time, but if you're in a position to spare like, a dollar, it would help me a lot. or if you guys have tips on side jobs to make money, or good sites to sell things, i'm willing to try anything at this point. i just can't watch my family starve. it's unbearable.

so i’m sorry for even asking but please, if you have anything to spare. PLEASE. my paypal email is giovanna_coimbra@outlook.com

if you’re not in a position to help, please please share this post for me. i will accept any and all help i can get right now.

[oh-for-fic-sake]

The Ground Rules

Geralt lays down the law with the help of yennefer after catching the reader haveing a bit of me time in the bath.

Masterlist

Ok this took all day as i couldnt stop tweaking it and i got to the point iv just got to step back and throw it out there or im gonna scream.Any way this is to go along with pastry negotiations its based after that one so could be considered part two? can be read stand alone tho in all honesty these modern reader inserts are gonna jump about in timeline cos my plot bunnys are twats. Im basing my Ciri on a mix of mature netflix Ciri and slightly mischievous witcher 3 Ciri. Any way i hope you enjoy this one im pretty pleased with it xx 

WARNING: Adult Themes, Smut, DubCon Swearing MxFxF 18+

Dont like it dont read it.

Geralt snaps when you take matters into your own hands.

The Ground Rules

"Well someone is excited" Jaskier drolled as he watched your form slowly creating distance between you as you marched ahead.

As the small rickety town came into veiw you cried out a victorious and dramatic "still alive" causing eye rolls and chuckles in the group. Honestly this was the first real town you'd come to since being here and you were thrilled. Sure you'd passed a tiny smattering of houses four or so days ago where you'd traded for some bread, tiny amount of dried meat and a few other essentials oh! and yenn had managed to replace your pastry to the amusment of the resident witcher. They'd both been more open with you since the whole pastry incident-which you thought was an off handed comment on yennefers part but she and geralt had since indicated otherwise.

The people in the village had mentioned of a near by town that was rumoured to have a contract out on a nest of some monster thingamajigs that you hadn't botherd to remeber the name of .You looked down the verge towards the town with immediate thoughts of eat, bathe and sleep- on a bed, a real fucking bed ,ok so it wont be a temper mattress but you could live with that-oh my fucking god hot water,a nice loooong soak you moaned in your throat the thought alone brought tears to your eyes. You walked ahead trying to usher the group.

And maybe you could have your own room. Honestly sharing a bed with the couple was becoming an issue for you,your crush on them was definatly getting out of control now constantly blushing under their heated glances and they are becoming more touchy feely, Hands lingering longer than nesscasary or leaning in so close so thier breath tickled the hairs on your neck basically doing anything to get you flustered and you swear to god yesterday yennefer copped a feel whilst helping you threw a small steam which you didn't need help with;not that she listened. Bottom line you were becoming sexualy frustrated pretty much staying in a constant state of arousal a night away from them to take care of business would be very much appreciated. 

"Come ooooonnnn guys keep up" you turned looking back at them drawing out your whine befor resuming towards the town

"Someone should catch up with her she looks like a girl on a mission" Yennefer commented 

"Yes. Ciri would you keep her near the main gate and out of trouble while we settle roach in the stables ,here take her this she should cover up befor anyone gets any ideas" geralt grunted as your form began to dissapear down the brow of the hill ,ciri looked between the two before shrugging grabbing his offered cloak then ran to catch up with you.

You glanced to the side as you heard footsteps noticing Ciri fall in step with you she held out his cloak.

"Here geralt said to cover up before people get any ideas" you sighed it wasnt your fault his shirt hung off of you showing a large amount of shoulder and chest luckily when the hoover portal of doom sucked you in you were in fleece lined black leggings that had been durable enough to survive the last 3 weeks on the road(your stitch t shirt hadn't survived your initial fall) because you doubt he'd have anything your hips would get in to. Rolling your eyes you pulled the heavy fabric across your shoulders repostioning it so that it wasnt draging on the floor to much but was still sheilding your body. 

"He's such a dad" Ciri giggled nodding in agreement befor reciting what esle geralt had requested ordered. You scoffed shaking your head

"So he doesnt even trust me to walk through a town, he does realise im an adult right? That i can do things with out causing trouble. i mean for god sake im not jaskier" she snorted 

"I think its more like he doesnt want other men trying to sleep with you" you did a double take 

"The hell you know about that sort of shit? has Jaskier been corrupting you?"

 A knowing smirk crossed her face as she held her hands up coming to a halt facing you just inside the wooden gates of the town.

"You think i havent noticed whats going on by myself, Geralt likes you so does yenn jaskiers noticed to, think he's going to write a song" 

"He better bloody not and anyway maybe i want to find a companion for the night." You announced tersely crossing your arms only to freeze as you heard a growl from behind you.

"Oh yes, i may have forgot to mention that witchers are senses are really sensetive" she smiled sweetly, you gaped why were you only being told this now. Looking between her and the others approaching.

"Wh-what how the fuck you leave that out? d-do you think he heard us? from back there" She nodded 

"Most definitely" you gulped feeling yourself shrink into Geralts cloak a little at the looks you received from Geralt and Yennefer as he spoke to her telling her what youd just said.oh fuck.

"when you say senses you mean all of 'em? Not just one or two?" hoping beyond hope that something had been lost in translation.

"Nope all of them sight, smell, hearing the whole lot" she replied watching the colour drain from your horror sticken face. You'd been getting wet over the past few days. And the realisation that he probably knew embarrassed the shit out of you. Geralt smirked obviously he heard.You were so fucked.he knew and if he knew then she knew.oh my god. You were sooo fucked.'whelp there goes my dignity' you thought. He strode past you to the mediocre stables with roach in toe ready to hitch her for the night.Jaskier and yenn followed pulling some of the bags off of the horse then passing them out to their respective owners. Geralt then stood before you all giving you all the 'game plan' as you call it.

"we will find an inn and eat after that you get settled in for the night whist i see about this contract."

"don't bother about me tonight im going to catch myself a young fair maiden for the night" you scoffed at Jaskier's announcement drawing his attention

"Sounding like a creeper there Jask, what? you gonna do throw a net in the tavern? don't think they'd take to kindly to that" he huffed through his nose aggravated. 

"No im going to sing in the tavern and lure a beauty to my side for the night" you played along widening your eyes in false realization

"oohh so your gonna go pay for it, how does it work exactly is it by hour or-" Geralt quickly intervened covering your mouth one to stop the inevitable spat and two before you could corrupt Ciri any further Jaskier deadpanned giving you a flat look.

"you're welcome to come find out for yourself im sure your just Itching  to get some relief-"

"JASKIER! you go ahead at least try to keep a bit of coin back this time" Jaskier 1 Y/n 0.

You glowered behind Geralt's hand as he dismissed the smirking bard who turned on his heel prancing off quite pleased with himself. You smacked Geralt's hand away wiping your mouth with the back of your hand before slowly making your way down the street into town.It had taken nearly half an hour to find a decent inn that had room for the four of you. A room with two double beds that had a heavy curtain to split the room into two it was usually rented by traveling families. You groaned as you walked in, now you really couldn't take care of business, you followed Ciri as she placed her bag on the bed on the left following suit you placed yours on the other half of it only to have Yennefer quickly relocated it to her side of the other bed. Ciri snorted giving you a knowing look.you sighed then stomped across the room. Knowing all to well that it was futile to argue with the sorceress ,the witcher was stubborn but she was something else. Geralt handed a small pouch of coin to Yennefer.

"This is for the new clothes Ciri needs a thicker cloak preferably fur lined maybe new boots to not sure how long those will last in the mountains." yennefer hummed as she pocketed the money. 

"And the clothes for Y/n as well?" 

"Yes, should be enough there for what we discussed if not i'v got a bit more saved" you raised your brows blinking at them.

"err what was discussed? guys? what did you talk about? was it about me? helloooo" you waved as they ignored you.Yennefer pulled off her cloak leaving it on her side of the bed. you and Ciri followed their lead only for Geralt the tug yours back across you giving a sharp look as you rolled your eyes.The group made its way down into the quiet main room of the family run inn where you were served a meal of roast beef with vegetable trimmings ,before you knew it Geralt had left to find out about the contract with a final 'Behave' thrown in your direction.To which you grunted in response,too full to even tell him to 'jog on' - a phrase that still frustrated the witcher as he didn't know the meaning-. Yennefer had asked for a bath before your meal which you were just informed was ready leaving you alone with the sorceress. You had all decided Ciri would have the bath first then you, yennefer and finally geralt if he was back before it got cold.

"I cant breath" yennefer laughed out loud you rubbed your tummy closing your eyes

"I mean honestly, I think theres food in my lungs" groaning leaning back against the chair she gave a sympathetic smile

"Well you did inhale your food, maybe next time take it easy."

"Can you blame me, been the first meat iv recognized since i got here" It was true so far you'd been living on meats that you wouldn't have necessarily chose to eat back home rabbit,mutton venison ect.

"After we've bathed we will rest for the day but tomorrow we have to run over to the seamstress and get your new clothes, not sure how long we will be here and might have to order some or have them taken up,you are a little thing.Might have to have some leather work done too." you squinted pointing an accusing finger at her

"You calling me a midget? we going for shots now are we?" she smiled sheepishly

"No .no shots?. i just meant your petite don't worry its very cute. Anyway we are only picking up the basics a few day dresses ,Riding clothes boots that sort of thing" you blinked owlishly flushing as she called you cute. 

"Riding clothes yes. Dresses no thank you" she stared unblinking at you for a few moments making you squirm at the calm expectant gaze that was getting heavier by the second, it was like the eyes of a mother when you'd been caught doing some dumb shit you knew you shouldn't be doing.

"Stop it....Yenn no... cant i just get something like Geralt has..please... i'd be much more comfortable...even Jaskier i mean im not one for the puffy bits but 'd make do....."

she blinked slowly

"Oh fine but only one or two no more and your not getting rid of these leggings either" you gave in, her gaze was to unnerving and it did things to you. Her face lit up. She was looking forward to seeing you in feminine gown instead of a her and Geralt's shirts not that she minded but it'd be a nice change to your strange stetchy leggings (not that she minded you in the form fitting bottoms) She moved leaning in to your side hand on your thigh patting it lightly.

"Thank you, don't be so worried i will take good care of everything" you gulped as you felt the flushed skin of your face grow hotter,your core clenching and warming at her sultry reply you closed your eyes trying to regain a bit of control. Suddenly her attention was drawn to a pink skinned Ciri who had finished her bath and changed Yenn nodded and released your thigh. You bolted upstairs hearing a chuckle as you did.

Once in the room you sighed in relief, making your way towards the screened off section that held a large oval tub full of steaming water. Discarding your clothes as you all but melted into the hot water.You submerged yourself getting your hair wet scratching tentatively at your scalp that had begun to ache under the grime. Spotting a small stool with what you'd consider toiletries, a bar of hard sweet smelling soap and a few vials.You grabbed the soap, opting for using it for your hair as well unsure what vials did what and went where.After scrubbing all the built up sweat and dirt you you closed your eyes lounging back against the slanted end tub you relaxed a few moments it wasn't long before you were feeling much better ,tired muscles succumbing to the soothing hot water.your body hummed. 'no one would have to know' as your summarized that this was the perfect opportunity to relieve yourself of other tensions, 

'its not like geralt could smell you under water, i mean i dont think dogs can thats why criminals cross rivers when their being hunted on tv isn't it?' biting your lip you peaked an eye open and listened out carefully feeling naughty when you began moving your hand to the apex of your thighs gasping as your finger ghosted over your hardened bundle of nerves .Fuck. Your clit was sensitive not surprising when Geralt and Yennefer had practically edged you for nearly a week. You whined quietly as you began a fast rhythm on your clit ,other hand slinking down to your opening rubbing your fingers up and down the warm weeping hole. You bit off a groan as your hips gyrated against your roaming hands. Stomach tensing as you drove yourself faster and faster to the edge.Almost there.Fuck almost-you jumped hissing 'shit' ,ripping your hands away from yourself , sitting up fast enough to make your head spin splashing a wave of water over the floor when you heard the door open slamming the wall beside it.

"err theres some one in here!" you called out loudly, angry at who ever just interrupted you.You got nervous as the heavy steps quickly made their way towards you.Realizing who ever it was didn't care for your modesty as they were coming your way you slung your top half out of the tub to grasp the towel screaming because before you could grasp it and cover yourself a large calloused hand enveloped your shoulder shoving you back into the water.

"WH-GERALT THE FUCK? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUTTA ME." you shouted at him as he released you then you looked down slapping your hands down to cover your self as he raised his eyebrows and gave a lop sided grin.He defiantly looked like the big bad wolf in that moment eyes ablaze with a hunger you wasn't sure you wanted to explore or not. Collecting yourself swallowing dryly before scolding him in a voice that seemed to become smaller with each word.

"hey! get the fuck out im trying to bathe you prick" you heard the door open and close again in a less violent fashion. And suprize suprize yennefer glided into view behind the .

"Thats not all you were doing tho was it? i can fucking smell you" was growled at you as geralt wet his lips you squeaked. 

"huh? b-but.. i thought..w-water" you stuttered out as your brain malfunctioned on on an epic scale. Yennefer gave out a loud laugh.

"so thats why he tore threw the inn like that.honestly Geralt i thought something was wrong" she continued laughing as she replayed the way geralt had all but vaulted the tables to get to the stairs. you pouted throughly humiliated

"something is wrong" he ground out before kneeling beside you .Shifting you tired to create some distance from him. He was having none of that wasting no time thrusting his hands into the water tugging away your shielding hand the other forcing its way between your legs. You slammed back against the tub gasping trying to get away. All you'd achieved was his hand pinning your hips to the back of the bath by your pussy

"GERALT WHA-"  

"Lets lay down some ground rules" He squeezed your throbbing heat in his hand curling his fingers dangerously close to your opening you bucked moaning breathlessly .Your eyes searched Yennefer's for help but she wore a similar hungry look that he had. Another slow squeeze brought your attention back to the brooding alpha male in the room.

"This is ours.ours to lick,suck and fuck as we see fit, to do what we please with and is off limits to your wandering little hands we clear on that?" You groaned out as he emphasized certain words with teasing brushes of fingers and a slow rub of his palm. Realizing that he might actually be serious.You nodded quickly babbling as he rocked his hand back and forth igniting the heat that you had built alone.

"C-crystal-please Geralt PLease" You threw your head back as his hand moved deliberate and teasing.

"You think you deserve it? after being caught up here playing with yourself?" You nodded then shook your head confused, unable to really concentrate on anything apart from his magnificent hand ,half lidded eyes and clenching your fingers tight around the thumb he was using it to control your movements as your body whithered under his ministrations.

"Really?" He said smirking as he held completely still you sucked through your teeth biting back curses.He chuckled smug bastard. moving trying to get some friction to no avail.

"Well we have been teasing the poor thing ,of course shes going to try sorting herself out the first chance she gets .Honestly Geralt what did you expect? i did tell you" yennefer reasoned as she stood behind you combing threw your wet hair you before grasping your free hand pulling it up out of the way kissing your palm before ghosting her nose down your neck pressing soft kisses along it you mewled at her and tried to coax geralt to continue again by rolling your hips.

"I suppose we could let her off this time" His voice was pure sex as he glanced down before giving into pushing two thick fingers up into you. his breach of your walls had an initial sting but was incredible as your needy walls tried sucking him deeper greedy to be filled.

"oh-oh fuck Ger-please" you arched your back pushing down onto his hand clutching onto Yennefer's wrist. you were so hot .fuck.he was gonna make you cum too quick. You panted throwing your head side to side as your legs tensed then raised up towards your torso, your pussy wrapped tight around Geralts fingers as he held them deep every few thrusts making you feel just how your walls rippled around him. he alternated between fast and shallow then slow and deep trying to build you up slowly he wasn't going to rush you, he was skilled enough to walk you up to the edge and throw you off whenever he damn well pleased. You'd never been this desperate in your life . Yenn's cool fingers delicately teased out your nipples pinching and flicking them until they stood out provocatively. You rocked against the both of them as Geralt made sure to start dragging your clit up and down with his palm as he finger fucked you curling his fingers searching for that small spot that'd send your mind reeling. Yenn had leaned down kissing your cheek and begun whispering lowly into your ear.

"He knows what he's doing doesn't he?Iit wont take him long to find every single spot you have, thats the thing with bedding a witcher they are much more observant then regular men. I have no doubt he will know when your going to orgasm before you do.He has the ability to force them out of nowhere when ever he pleases.. He is quite cruel like that" you moaned out loud snapping your head back high pitched and vulgar sounds tore from your throat as Geralts invading fingers began rubbing furiously back and forth on a soft spot inside of you.Unable to control yourself as your legs and tummy spasmed erratically as your tearfull moans and pleas filled the room

"Thats it oh i think iv found it~" he boasted as he moved his elbow pinning a knee to the side of the tub leaving your clit cruelly exposed for Yennefer,they shared a look as she moved her hand down to join Geralts taking over to rub small firm circles on your exposed clit.

"oh-OH fuck noNOno i cant please i ca-UGh to-Too much please FUCK" Yennefer was quick to swallow your moans in a kiss of clashing teeth and tongues before any one could hear ,tears streamed down your face as your body ached your pussy contracting painfully around his swiping digits. Pulling back for air the sorceress placed open mouthed kisses over your shoulders leaving red marks with her teeth and sucking bites.

"Good girl your being sooo good you don't have to ask this time" she praised as she reached your ear befor sucking harshly below your jaw. you were quickly becoming putty in their hands Geralt growled as he picked up the begining tremors of your orgasm.

"Look at me" you obeyed instantly moaning as you watched the white wolf pull his lip up in a snarl that would have scared you any other time.

"This is what you were made for, your ours, we own you, mind body and soul we own every whimper ,every tear ,every orgasm and hole they are ours for the taking when ever we choose,from now only ecstasy you will know is what we give you" You'd never have guessed how filthy his mouth could be but it seemed to have the desired effect as a sudden rush of heat was your only warning before rearing up screaming out, not sure if you'd shut your eyes or blacked out for a moment as you gushed into the bath water.Geralt pressed into you persistent while Yennefer's hand continued the tight circles efficiently drawing out the best orgasm your ever had.Finally their movements ceased and your body went limp wracked trembling in the aftermath as your orgasm ebbed away slowly. After giving you a few moments to come down and catch your breath Geralt removed his fingers you whimpered inside's still so sensitive after your orgasm, sucking on them he moaned deep and feral before plucking your clenched fingers off his thumb. Yennefer quickly wiped your pussy gently clearing the cum from between your swollen lips. Making you twitched as the cloth ran over you.Pulling you from the bath was a joint effort as they rested you on the bed and began patting you dry with the towel.Moaning in protest as your arms waved loosely trying to take over only having your hand smacked away as they finished.Lying back looking up at them bleary eyed trying to stay awake you felt like jelly, giving up fighting you rolled over yawning tucking your arms below your head Yennefer tilted her head stroking your hair sending you into a relaxed sleep.

"Poor dear ,Oh look at her geralt shes all fucked out and we haven't even fucked her yet" 

"hmm she'll be ok we just need to work on her stamina" he replied patting your bottom as he pulled the cover over your washed out form.Geralt panicked

"Shit wheres Ciri?"

"well when you came charging in down stairs i told her to go find Jaskier and stay there until one of us came to get her" Yennefer said with a sly grin he shook his head and scooped her up kissing her passionately. As he took a few steps to the now vacant bath

"well the bath is still warm care to join me?"

"with pleasure lets try not to wake her tho"

.

See you soon xxx

[cybernightwanderer]

How whats left of me faded away, and how my first christmas home became my last : - The day my mom died. - The concept of family finally ended for me. - And how “ it doesnt get any better”.

23rd December.

These past few months i have been on psiquiatric medical leave from work due to a very severe depression thanks to the amazing workplace enviroment that has now crippled me so deeply physically and mentally, more before.

Its funny how when i try my hardest to recover and get my life back, its becomes so clear its a fucking joke.

Begining of the year i managed to fight off my mom on the money she was forcing me to pay her, and i managed to pay less from what i was paying before, and due to these medical leaves and corona, i get very little support finnancialy. I managed to save up almost 1k, i was ready to start believinng i could fix up my life. However i still pay her what i have to monthly, half the bills, 50 euros for food that i may consume at the house, and i also buy my food and my own things like i always did.

My mom has the tendancy to force me to take borrowed money she lends me.

For example mid corona time, i had to have gum surgery due to an old tooth infection, wich turned out to be 3 tooths, and i took out 2, needless to say my mom helped me with half of the apointments, i payed the surgery ones but then i needed follow up apointments so i wouldnt lose 4 more teeth. Apointments i canceled right away , beause i didnt have any money, and my mom being the mom that she is i always refuse her “ loans “ due to her being worse than a fucking stereotipical loan shark that takes that money back with interest, but in mental health and sanity. However she kept squedueling the apointments without me knowing, then tell me 1 day early, then get mad at me because id tell her i had no money so i told her to cancel and not make apointments without my consent and knowledge. This to wich she responded with screams , name calling , telling me to cancel myself and the general griefing of : “OK fine ill never help u with anything again “ / “ ok fine i dont care anymore then “, “ what you are too good to take my money is that it? “ Then when i standed my ground , proceeding to treat me miserably for the following week, demanding me to do random chores, just for the sake of punishing me , leaving dirty dishes of her own food acumulating so she could force me to do them and threaten me with a beating if i didnt, or making me wash the bathroom everyday for no reason.

With all this mess, half the money i had saved up + using it on the apointments and paying her back right away at the end of the month the consultations i owed her. I was left with 400 bucks.

Wich later on were also spent in dentist urgency apointments, because i kept having infections, psiquiatrist apointments and medicine and a laywer for the work harrassement situation, and then and there, all my money was gone.

The situation goes by, im home , receiving basic support for the medical leave, i pay my share of the bills and i do my own thing, however depression has gotten worse, my attacks have gotten worse, and everything just feels like rock bottom here.

These last 2 months, ive been trying so hard... so hard to get back on my feet, i was taking my medicine, i was taking a languague course, i was going to the doctor. I was really, really trying. Its funny how hard i was trying, for the first time in my life i was really trying to believe it could get better.

My mom was even acting nice and it almost seemed like she was really supporting me and trying.

December 23. Me and my mom go the psiquiatrist apointment for him to avaluate my condition. For the first time the apointment wasnt so heavy, it didnt leave me so weary from it. I finally believed. By the end of the consultation my doctor asks my mom to make sure i dont go back to that work place, because it might have a huge take on my life. My mom turns to the doctor and says : “ I know she cant go back , but she cant be unemployed either.” And the doctor says : “ I know, but if she goes back it can make her worse, we cant let that happend, its damaging her“ ( meaning she could kill herself, due to the last apointments conversation ) On to wich my mother replied : “ Well i cant be providing for us both with my money “.

...

When we arrived at the car i asked her why she said that and what she meant by that. And i told her that i pay for my food and that i pay for the things i eat that she buys ( wich is not much ) and that i also pay for half the bills.

To wich she agressivly threatned me to shut up and started yelling right away and acting like a victim with her mild aneurism that happend quite a few years ago in wich she HAS BEEN FULLY HEALED AND PERFECT HEALTHY, but always uses as an excuse to dodge the discussion after demanding certain shit or just plain insulting me. After a lot of lying and name calling and even telling me that i eat her food and that i live off of her. Into wich i replied, i dont always eat your food , and theres a lot of times when i dont eat and you yell at me and treat me badly for not eating your food wich led me to just eat cereals for months everyday as all 3  meals or not even eating and skipping meals for being too afraid of making my own food in the kitchen.

And so on... And i asked her what she wanted from me. And after a long car fight and a lot of gaslighting, she finnaly admitted she just wanted more money “ because if all your friends pay normal rent , you should too “ ( meaning a 450 rent ).

And then i just gave up and told her ok, ill pay you a full rent and i will also never toutch your food again. She laughed and made fun of me. And said : like ur even gonna buy your own food, you always use my things. to wich i asked what things? Oh you use my shampoo and toilet paper. To wich then i replied, everytime i buy toiler paper for me, you just take it as your own, and i dont use your shampoo or body wash i buy my own and i have been buying my own. And she just kept fighting me on it saying i do...and i told her i dont, if i by any chance dont have shampo ill use body wash as shampoo or vice versa. She just wanted to be right, so i just told her, ill pay you anything you want, i just dont wanna fight anymore im tired. To wich then she just kept saying “ oh now ur just trowing a fit “ And i sayd to her, why me agreing to what u ask and calmly shutting up to not fight anymore , how is that trowing a fit? i just gave you what you wanted, you dont need to be angry anymore.

And she just kept going at it, trying to poke my nerves until i just completly yelled and when crazy. The she acted like a victim again.

I am so drained, i am so tired....

After that discussion it was just 10 minutes of silence. I made a decision. That woman is not my mother anymore.

She wants to be a landlord so bad, she will be one.

My mother has died.

After a few minutes almost home , she decides to turn the “ mother mode “ on, and goes like “ oh you have to go to the doctor blah blah lets get your medicine etc. And i just told her, no. Ill go to the doctor on my own means, and ill buy the medicine when i have money.

Obviously she completly dismissed what i sayd and tried to drive me to the doctor and the pharmacy. After a few NO’s , she went home.

I got home, i took care of my things and i sorted out my doctors paperwork, she tries to come into my room, and acting like a worried mother like : “ oh did you do this -- etc” ( what i was already doing ) and i just told her, to stop. That she doesnt get to “ talk to me about those things anymore, or about my buisness.

Shes not my mother anymore. She doesnt get to act like a mother do just order me around and controll me. She is just a landlord now.

A few hours later, shes wrapping up presents and asks me to do it and asks me for my gifts wrapping thingies, and i told her no. Immediatly got mad at me and kept trowing provocative comments. And i told her, i didnt want any xmas gift from her, and that i wouldnt be spending xmas with her.

She made that usual smirk she mades when she sees me upset.

fast forward, the next day.

24 December

---

[seaspiritz-blog]

Please read and help pregnant, disabled, LGBT girl escape bf

Hey Im so sorry but I made a SECOND post recently but its gotten way more notes than help again and its slowing down a LOT so since someone suggested I make a new post so people don’t think that its old or that I’m okay now! The date is 6/1/19 right now! TW for content!

TLDR: My name is Em I am a mentally ill, disabled 18 year old who just found out I am pregnant. I am living with my controlling, violent, unstable BF and need help leaving this dangerous environment SOON before he realizes I am pregnant and trying to leave.

I will try to make this short but I started living with my bf who is in his 20s when I was 17 because I was also being abused severely at home. I thought he could understand me bevause we both had mental problems and he seemed very sweet. After awhile he started getting very controlling, manipulative, paranoid, checking my phone and taking it, locking the door and refusing to let me leave. He has threatened to let me sleep on the street because of his paranoia that I am cheating on him/trying to hurt him/ect. He has stopped taking his medication and I have tried to work through this with him because I do love him but he has only gotten worse. He has put his hands on me, forced and threatened me into sex. He belittles me for being disabled, calls me stupid, calls me a slut, he is homophobic because he realizes I am bisexual and thinks girls are only for men. We have almost gotten kicked out because he even threatened our apartment manager. And so much more that I dont even want to list.

I will be homeless if I dont leave because I cant just handle only putting my own life at risk. I know if he realizes I am pregnant he will react very badly. I have tried calling the police on him (which he holds over me now) but they did not have enough evidence of crime. He has a long record of violence but because he is mentally ill he goes to a hospital and then gets out when he becomes violent or threatening and then it happens again when he is off of his meds.

My parents have cut me off for leaving and refuse to support me despite begging for help. I am trying to reach out to all services suggested without raising attention. If anyone has anything to spare, I can afford an apartment on my own with my disability income but I need help affording the application fees, deposit/move in costs. I can pay my own rent from there and be okay! I have no way to work because of my disabilities. My SSI would also be taken away. I have tried even sex work but that is dangerous for numerous reasons and ended badly. I have been looking into shelters but in the meantime trying extremely hard to raise money because I know I can support myself if I am able to pay move in costs. I have had bad experiences in shelters before I moved in with him.

Cashapp: dietseasprite

Paypal: teamaexis@gmail.com

I know this is annoying and I am so sorry. Please please boost. I am terrified of him finding out about any of this every single day and its hard when I dont know whats going on with me and he can tell Im acting weird. I would do anything at this point. Thank you for everyone who reblogs and has reblogged and continues to help me.

Ive done the math and for a cheap apartment I can afford I would need about 6000 to move out safely. Its A LOT and I dont expect to get all of this but I am trying to save on my own also whenever I can. Im currently at around 800/6000 and will keep posting updates!!

[petalssoft-blog]

I need to get out of here I have never made any type of post like this and it’s going to be long and annoying but I just can’t fucking take this anymore. I’m Sophie, I am a 19 year old latina girl who has been living with an abusive man double my age for the last couple of years after running away. I feel trapped here and I have no means to leave safely at all. I’m mentally ill and on disability which doesn’t leave me with any room to get away from him and he is extremely controlling even when it comes to money and what I should have to owe him for living with him. I have no family to lean on and the friends I did have, he has cut me off completely from them. He’s smashed my phone when he got paranoid leaving me with nothing and no one. He monitored my phone and my social media so I have had to make separate accounts to try and hide him from seeing what I post. Not only that but he is racist, he hates women, believes in white supremacy, thinks that all girls should only be with men and give themselves to men whether they want to or not.. it just goes on and on and never stops. He always talks about genocide, thinks women ask for too much, ect. He has actually gone to jail in the past for assault. He threatens me with violence if I don’t do the things he asks for all the time and my mental health has gone downhill since I came here. There are so many things that have happened that I can’t even talk about. I am always being taken advantage of, threatened, manipulated into sex, into giving him money, just so that I won’t be out on the streets with no where to go. This type of life is making me want to kill myself if I can’t get a change soon but I am terrified of the thought of leaving him. I want to get a restraining order so that he can’t come after me, but if I do that I will have no place to live because I can’t afford the apartment I live in if he’s not here. I need help getting out. There is no way I can afford to pay a deposit, pet fee, and first months rent on a cheaper apartment with the income and type of life I have right now. He knows about how much money I bring in a month, and with my bills and everything I have very little. I know what I need is a lot, my goal is around $500 dollars even though that won’t begin to cover it, I don’t expect much help at all. Even a couple dollars I have that I can hide from him will hopefully add up. I was at risk of being homeless when I met him because of leaving my family. I thought that because he had issues too that he was a good person at heart but I can’t take the way that he treats me anymore, it has only gotten worse. If you don’t believe me, or think I shouldn’t be asking for this kind of help or think this is all my fault just block me. I have had too many people act like I am over exaggerating or that I’m crazy. I will just block you. my paypal email is sophimazziotti@gmail.com if you can help at all and if you cant i understand I know everyone is struggling and other people need more help than I do but I would be so thankful if you would please please reblog this post for me. Thank you.