#i cant remember for the life of me where i saw this quote but it was a really good one

[tragedydenji]

im soooo gone with bakudeku... everyday i end my night with listening to shout baby and datte atashi. both songs just make everything better.

They know each other best, isn't it amazing that they grew up TOGETHER. Despite the bullying, fallouts or mistakes they're burdened with, both were and still are in each other's sphere, always orbiting...

'I grow infinitely smaller whenever I am infront of you.'

IMO this quote is so fitting for them, both felt this way about each other at some point in time. but as kudo said, izuku didnt give up and believed in katsuki's heart... so i'm glad that we got to see katsuki's atonement.

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic finder

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1. I'm looking for a fic that's during the Cloud Recesses study arc where, WWX I think, found out Wen Chao couldn't read and started teaching him. I think a couple of the other kids started helping him, MianMian maybe? I can't remember much but they definitely helped him learn how to read and became friends. TIA

FOUND? Wei Wuxian’s Super Special Super Secret Book Club by Anonyma (T, 31k, WWX & WC & LQY, WangXian, Canon Divergence)

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2. hello!! All good? I'm looking for a collection of one shots, and I can't find it, I read it a little while ago but I remember a one shot, where Jiang Cheng and Wei Ying were discussing the fact that Wei Ying had saved the heirs of the sects in cave and Jin Ling was listening and Wei Ying was saying that if he hadn't saved the heirs Jin Ling wouldn't exist and Jiang Cheng said something like, Whatever.... Honestly, I don't even remember the tags, but Jiang Cheng and Wei Ying realizing that Jin Ling had heard, Wei Ying asks what Jin Ling wants. @sweettiebah

FOUND! 🔒 Chapter 11: Careless Words of Short Prompts by Vrishchika (JL POV - Not JC Friendly - WWX loses his patience)

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3. Hello !! Ive read this fanfic a while ago and I have multiple ss of it since i like to save memorable parts of the fic but now i cant remember it anymore </3 i dont remember the synopsis but there was a scene where Lwj and Wwx were in an inn while out night hunting, and wwx suspected the person serving them to have poisoned lwj, wwx got really angry and threatened the guy to the max

quote:

Wei Wuxian slammed him against the wall again, cutting off his rapid ramblings and jostling his fractured arm. "Your stories bore me," he spoke lowly, peering his head around slightly so as to almost look into Heng She's face. He still had yet to acknowledge Lan Wangji's presence. "Tell me why you poisoned the tea, or I will hang you in the street by your intestines, ripped open to let the crows feed on your liver." @jingyisbff

FOUND! let me sing to you by greybird_crookedbranch (T, 61k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, adorable Juniors, Minor Original Character(s)for plot purposes, Minor Violence, Demonic Cultivation, resentful energy, Trauma, Guilt, Protectiveness, BAMF WWX, Hurt wwx, Protective WWX, Protective LWJ, Baby Lans, Mental Instability, Possession, it's a case fic but the case is for the hurts, Angst with a Happy Ending, POV LWJ, a tasteful seasoning of Yunmeng Bros Reconcilliation, CQL canon except LWJ is not chief cultivator, Nightmares)

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4. Hello! T__T I have my focus mode on so my distracting apps like twitter (x) are paused. I took a 5 minutes break and opened it. I saw a threadfic of Bottomji/Topxian (Omegaverse) They already have 3 kids (Yuan, Twins) but they are all alphas. lwj wants a daughter (or an omega son). He rode wwx that night then let him knot him for 3x. They were on a date and lwj bought some robes for a girl the confronts wwx that he wants a daughter.... Thats all Ive read. I want to read the whole thread but my app closed. 💔 Can you guys help me with it? I cant find it anymore.

FOUND! sounds like this twt threadfic by @/omegawangji

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5. Hi, I need help finding a fic I’m pretty sure I’ve seen recommended on here a couple years ago.

I don’t remember the title or the author. It was on AO3. It was an Alternative Universe fic where WWX is an art student (and lived in a dorm with the Wen siblings) and LWJ has a very active but discreet sex life. WangXian know each other but they’re not together. Eventually they start sleeping with each other (WWX doesn’t realize LWJ actually likes him and he’s not just another hookup). There is also a secondary plot about one of LWJ’s past hookups stalking and tormenting them at a club or party at some point? T

his is all I can remember, unfortunately. I hope to reach someone who knows which fic this is by asking on here. WangXian nation, do your thing! 🙏

FOUND? show me a quiver, give me tonight by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 115k, wangxian, lwj/others, communication failure, mutual pining, artists, demisexual wwx, angst w/ happy ending) It doesn't match exactly but some details do

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6. For fic finder, a fic I read a good while back.

It was one of those “jgs magically spies on the burial mounds to get people to hate wwx and the remnants” but in this one wwx and lwj did the “a-yuan is birthed from wwx” thing and the people spying believe it. Lqr passes out for a bit and lxc and jc start planning a wedding since lwj apparently deflowered wwx. I think it was completed

FOUND! Assumptions by draechaeli (T, 50k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Mainly Novel with a few CQL and Donghua bits, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Adoption, Adoption but WWX birthed them all, not mpreg, Not Established Relationship, Fluff, Canon-Typical Violence, Fix-It, gender non-conforming titles)

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7. Hello! Here's one I've read a dozen times and would swear I have bookmarked, but now I can't find it. Basically, LZ is a courtesan/assassin who's sent by JGS to seduce and kill the powerful Yiling Patriarch. Meng Yao is working with LZ, although he has his own plans against JGS, of course. WWX later realizes LZ's brother is alive and looking for him, so he brings them together. (By the way, are you thinking of adding a Courtesan compilation? There are plenty of good ones to rec!) Thank you! @ladysalieri (we don't have a courtesan au specific comp but we do have a royalty one that includes a few! ^^ - Mod C)

FOUND! out to get you (to get you) by iliacquer (E, 41k, wangxian, graphic depictions of violence, switching, top/bottom LWJ, top/bottom WWX, power play, courtesan LWJ, assassin LWJ, dark lord WWX, bondage, happy ending, past slavery)

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8. Hello i am looking for a fic where modern lwj time travels to the canon era and becomes original lwj, in the fic he is betrothed to yilling patriarch wy who sends him letters, and wy becomes more desperate and insane because lwj doesn't answers his letters. @ahiku-chan

FOUND? if this is a dream, i pray to never wake up by dangodangomilk (M, 27k, WangXian, Marriage, Weddings, Engagement, Canon Divergence, Parallel Universes, YLLZ WWX, false amnesia, Implied/Referenced Sex, Fluff and Angst, Sexual Content)

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9. hello! i'm looking for a fic from lwj's pov. he runs into wwx (dark) in yiling i think, after burial mounds but before his new body. lwj is horrified by how bad he looks and convinces him to go to an inn (wwx mean), they have sex. during this lwj realizes that wwx's bones are all broken from his fall in the burial mounds and he is holding them stable with resentful energy. he can't heal them, but the resentful energy is working as a stopgap. possibly of it's own volition? bittersweet? thx! @saydams

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10. Hello!! I love this blog, where I find fics to read!! A few days ago, I asked someone to find me a fic, but I'm here again because I remembered med and another fic that I loved reading, but currently can't find.

The things I remember: Wangxian has an spiritual connection, which is why the golden core transfer does not occur (and it is qing who informs Wei Ying of the connection, as Madam Yu knew and gave tea to undo the connection but it did not work ) and if I'm not mistaken Yanli is the one who told Wei Ying that the spiritual connection no longer exists (which is obviously wrong)

If you can't find it, I ask you to recommend something similar.

Thank you ❤💛🖤 @sweettiebah

FOUND! Half of my soul by Asphodel_Meadow (T, 8k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, No Golden Core Transfer, Fix-It, 5+1 Things, kinda soul bond but with their golden cores, POV Outsider, POV Alternating)

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11. Hi, im looking for a fic where when Wei Wuxian was dead others tried to flirt with Lan Wangji. I remember one of the scenes where Shizui was walking to the jingshi and overherd someone (a cousin of Lan Jingyi?) trying to flirt with Lan Wangji. I think it was a 5+1 type of deal. No matter the way i word it, i cant find it. I`ve been looking on and off for months. @herebedragons02

FOUND? Criteria by incendir (T, 10k, LSZ & LWJ, WangXian) Criteria from the Resolutions series! I've reread ot enough to know that description on site

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12. I hope you don't mind me asking, i'm looking for a wangxian fic where there is a scene that takes place in the cloud recesses where jiang cheng injures nie huaisang and nie mingjue almost declares war on the jiang sect. Thats as much as i remember I hope it's enough to go on. If it helps any it was either a Jiang Cheng bashing fic or a Jiang Family bashing. / Hi i'm looking for a Jiang Cheng or Jiang Family Bashing fic (can't remember which it was) where Nie Huaisang gets severely injured by Jiang Cheng and Nie Mingjue almost declares war on the Jiang Sect. Thank you. @hanabichan2018

FOUND? Ad Oblivione by Baph, HikariNoHimeWriter (M, 70k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, POV Multiple, Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Identity Reveal, Golden Core Reveal, Cultivation World Critical, Not JC Friendly, Abusive YZY, Angst with a Happy Ending)

FOUND? A Future Family In A Broken Past by Hauntcats (T, 121k, wangxian, Not JIang Family Friendly, Not Cultivation World Friendly, WWX Needs a Hug, Family Dynamics, What is a good family?, Fear of emotions does not excuse abuse, Not Jiang Clan Friendly, Angst with a Happy Ending, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon Divergence, LXC needs a hug, Everyone Needs A Hug, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Not YZY Friendly)

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13. Hello I’ve been looking for this fic but I cannot find it I remember seeing it before it’s where in order to survive the burial mounds WY exchanges his heart which changes how he acts and then at the end JC, JYL, LWJ and NH decide to go to the burial mounds to see what happened to WY

FOUND?🔒 between the shadow and the soul by Reverie (cl410) (M, 22k, wangxian, JYL/WQ, JC/NHS, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Family, Dark WWX, Feral WWX, Memory Loss, Magic, Magical Realism, Protective LWJ, Protective JC, Protective JYL, Grief, BAMF WWX, POV Alternating)

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14. Hi! For next fic finder, could you help me find a modern wangxian au with combination of arranged marriage, marriage of convenient (i think it is), and contract marriage. YZY arranged a marriage between WWX and LWJ for a bussiness cooperation. WWX agreed to that so he can get away from the Jiang (especially YZY) and to make his own carrier. Then LWJ and WWX make a contract to make the marriage last until 2 years and decided if they want to keep the marriage or not. I think LWJ playing his guqin and WWX is used to that and when 2 years almost up, WWX didnt want to get divorce. The fic is focused about them getting to know each other. I think thats all i can remember. I read that in 2021 so the detail is kinda patchy. If you dont know the fic at least a confirmation that im not the only one that ever read this. Thank you! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

Hi, im #14. Unfortunately its not the fic that iam searching for. The one that iam serching for focused on wangxian, other characters barely appears. Even the jiangs only gets mentioned. Wwx didnt work for Jiang, i think he is graphic design freelancer? The agrement for divorce is between the two of them, their family didnt know about their agreement. They choose how long they stay together before divorce after they think that the project between their family is finished so their divorce wont effect the project. WWX even has a plan after their divorce to open his own office. If i remember corectly, WWX realize he didnt want to get divorced is a few days before the day of their divorce. Like he is in his room and thinking that after their divorce, he cant listening to LWJ playing his guqin and spend their days together and he didnt want that.

I really hope i didnt mix several fic together. Thank you!

NOT FOUND! you're the only thing i think i got right by sandustorms (lucianclouds) (M, 48k, wangxian, Arranged Marriage, Falling In Love, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Domestic, Married Life, Eventual Smut, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, do you remember that fake reddit post abt the guy that fell for his husband, that he was arranged to be married to, that was kind of what inspired this, Happy Ending, Modern, Strangers to Lovers, Romance)

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15. Hello Mods, hope you are having a good day (^ ω ^)

This is for the fic finder and I'm not quite sure about this so just to be safe I don't want to upset anyone so

Trigger Warning! Trigger Warning! Trigger Warning!

This is what I remember: WWX is roofied or SA'ed in the Cloud Recesses ( I don't remember if that is shown) and there's a lot about how he handle it (denial? minimizing? disassociation?), and LWJ is there, he didn't do it, he is good, and anti-victim-blaming? if that makes sense?

FOUND? obscura: ink stain by AvoOwO (M, 20k, wangxian, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Canon Divergence, Emotions, Heavy Angst, Painting, Temporary Amnesia, Drugs, Drug Use, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Date Rape Drug/Roofies, Drink Spiking, Victim Blaming, LWJ Has Feelings, LWJ Has a Crush, Soft wangxian, Holding Hands, Blood and Violence, Good Sibling JC, Protective JC, WWX is a Mess, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Politics, Protective LXC, Good Sibling LXC, Good Uncle LQR, LQR Tries, OCs, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, WWX Needs a Hug, someone gets punched a lot, LWJ contemplates murder for a moment, JC almost gets it done, not quite about romance, as much as romance elements there, more so about the small things, LWJ loves how WWX smells, some nasty things are said, WWX def needs a nap, he gets one dw, LQR Gets Shit Done, NHS Is A Little Shit, Scheming NHS)

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16. Hi! For fic finder, I am looking for a short-ish fic where Jin Ling learns that Wei Wuxian is the one who named him “Rulan.” Jin Ling then realizes he is named after the Lans, and he has a teenage meltdown about how he is named after his uncle’s crush. Does this sound familiar? Thank you, everyone, for all your help! @gloriousclotpole

FOUND! three days gone by occultings (microcomets) (G, 4k, JL & WWX, WangXian, Post-Canon, Family Bonding, Homophobic Language, Fluff) there may be a few fics that fit, is it maybe the one where jin ling and jiang cheng are reading sect letters together, and jin ling got mad about being called "rulan"? so far i found another fic, ig it's "similar" since jin ling's only mad for one sentence, but i thought to link it anyway

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17. Hi! I'm looking for a fic, but i only remember a specific scene from it: wwx and the wens on the horses and it's raining and lan zhan lets them go, but then i guess granny wen says go back and get him, and when they return, lan zhan is soaking wet and she says something along the lines of 'dramatic young people'. Thank you so much!

FOUND? Turn Around by mondengel (Not rated, <1k, wangxian, humor)

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18. Hi, I'm looking for an AU WIP fic where WWX has to wear a mask; nobody but family is allowed to see his face. He and LWJ have an arranged marriage, but LWJ still refuses to let him take his mask off, and doesn't make any effort in the marriage. Very soon after they are married, he takes Wen Qing as a concubine, without explaining anything to WWX. WWX moves to a house near Lotus Pier, and there is a bit about him adopting children, but I can't remember how that came about... Thank you! @godiva696

FOUND! Sounds like the deleted "A price to pay" by wangxianist.

Not FOUND! sounds sorta like shana's identity porn fic here on tumblr

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19. Hello! 😃 I hope you can help me find this fic that I have been looking for!

I only remember that Wei Wuxian gets reunited with the sect leader of the Yu sect,(she is basically his grandma I think) and he get very emotional, it is also at a discussion conference or something like that, it is a very sweet/happy scene.

thank you 😊

NOT FOUND!🔒补救; to remedy, to do something to correct or improve something that is wrong by ravenditefairylights (G, 21k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Fluff and Angst, Healing, JC & WWX Reconciliation, Getting Together, Everybody Gets Their Shit Together, Family Feels, Teacher WWX, Soft WWX, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Crying, Marriage Proposal, Assassination Attempt(s), Family Bonding, soup as a metaphor, Meishan as a metaphor, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Feels, Forgiveness, BAMF WWX, Assassin WWX) i'm not positive this is it, but has a scene like that

Not FOUND And Time Is But a Paper Moon by sami (M, 139k, WangXian, XiChengQing, Time Travel, Fix-It, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Healing, Mental Health Issues, PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Depression, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, BAMF JYL, Getting Together) has a wwx-Sect Leader Yu relationship a bit like that? They meet up in Meishan, though, it's not a conference

Not FOUND The Housewife's Guide to Causing Chaos by dvasva (M, 127k, WIP, WangXian, Canon-Typical Violence, Functionally Trans Character, Mild Sexual Content, Domestic Fluff, Love Confessions, Transphobia, Good Parents LWJ and WWX, Pining, WWX is a Tease, Grief/Mourning, Body Dysphoria, Fake Marriage, Canonical Character Death, Misunderstandings, Doting LWJ, Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, WWX is not in MXY's body, Misgendering, Mild Angst, Assumptions, Comedic Elements, non-sexual nudity, Blood, Discussion of Various Bodily Functions, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans, 4 years of mourning instead of 13, Méishān Yú Sect, POV Multiple, Corporal Punishment, Trans WWX, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, pregnancy mention, Timeline What Timeline, Sexual Harassment Threats) has wwx summoned by an OC Yu cousin instead of mxy, so there is some wwx-Yu sect interactions in the story. I don't remember it being particularly sweet or happy, but the setting is a conference

Not FOUND Moments of Revelation by meyari (T, 133k, ChengSang, WangXian, XiYao, POV JC, Canon Divergence, Temporary Character Death, Character Death, not anyone we care about, Time Travel Fix-It, Self-Sacrifice, Torture, Chronic Pain, Chronic anxiety, magical healing and how it fails, Grief/Mourning, PTSD, Chronic Mental Health Issues, Assassination, renamed my, Families of Choice, Original Supporting characters, Unreliable Narrator(s), Demonic Possession) last suggestion, and this probably isn't it, but it has a lot of Yunmeng Trio & Yu sect interactions (mostly Jiang Cheng centric, but wwx is there too lol)

FOUND! Twelve Moons and a Fortnight by stiltonbasket (M, 290k, WangXian, Humor, Slow Burn, Post-Canon Fix-It, Long-Distance Relationship, Epistolary, Love Letters, Family Feels, a-qing lives, teenage romance, Adoption, Romantic Comedy, Happy Ending, Weddings, Case Fic, Parenthood, Politics) the reunion scene is on ch31

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20. Hello! I’m looking for a fic where during the Sunshot Campaign, Wei Wuxian was able to tame the Xuanwu, resulting in victory. However, he wasn’t fully able to control its bloodlust so it was sequestered onto an island in Lotus Pier.

However, he leaves one day for a brief visit to Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli, JGS paid a child to visit the island and the child is killed. This causes WWX to go with the Xuanwu into the water surrounding the island and he disappears for many years.

Later on, Jin Ling ends up trying to prove himself by going into the forest surrounding this island (which has since filled with resentful energy). And finds that WWX has come back and the Xuanwu has been purified.

I’m not sure if it’s been deleted??

FOUND? The Turtle Master by Gotcocomilk (M, 40k, wangxian, JC & WWX, JL & WWX, Eventual Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Temporary Character Death, Character Death Fix, shijie lives, Hurt/Comfort, OC Child death, zombie turtle!!, BAMF WWX, isnt he always, Fluff and Angst, first half is pain second half is soft)

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[clockworkbee]

Love how Holly Black takes the most obvious and typical plots from fairytales and then twists them in her books, only to then end them at some absolutely cliché scene 🤌🏼

I am sorry, which ones? I cant see them in Holly Black books

Hmm. Okay.

I’ll start by clarifying (for you, anon, and anyone else who comes across this post) that when I say fairy tale, I don’t just mean the Beauty and the Beast category, I also mean those children books like Goldilocks and Pinnochio etc. as well as the many stories I've never read but heard from my dad or grandmother in my childhood (in urdu—not that they’re relevant in this post) and I’ll tell you why I thought so/saw (see) it as quoted in your ask, but just because I did doesn’t mean everyone would—and this isn’t to convince you either (but it low-key is, lol)

SPOILER WARNING: the books mentioned in this post may or may not contain minor/major spoilers about the plot but do include more information than the synopsis so if you haven’t read Holly Black’s books and would prefer knowing as little as possible before going in, I think it’s best you save this post for later <3

The Folk of the Air: My first books by the author were tfota, and the world, plot, and characters were quite refreshing to read, but then on my first read, when I read about the prophecy and the curse within the series, it hit me that within this ‘faerie’ story was an aspect of the ‘fairy’ ones, kinda like ‘beauty and the beast,’ ‘a cursed prince turned into a frog,’ or another that's mentioned in the 3rd book, but then, the way to break the curse was not so typical in my opinion, and I loved that. And of course there’s the famous parallels between Jude and Alice from Alice in the Wonderland; a human girl in a fantasy land where she doesn’t belong. (If you’re interested, you might like how it’s shown here by @rosiethorns88 and the third and second last paragraphs written here by @sensenoi unless you’re interested in reading the whole post, that is) As for the cliché ending here, I think those cheesy, happy dialogues in tqon are exactly that.

The Darkest Part of the Forest: in this standalone (which I wished so hard that I’d read before tfota), there’s a prince who’s banished and (I think, can’t remember, sorry) also cursed to sleep. So again, this was like Aurora sleeping after pricking her finger or Snow White after biting the apple, however, the way to wake up that prince wasn’t his true love’s kiss and he doesn’t love the person who finally breaks him free either, so I kinda liked that twist; the boy getting the prince instead of the girl. (You know, like a change of perspective in a fairytale retelling such as Maleficent’s pov showing love instead of hate for Aurora, I guess)

The Modern Faerie Tales (Tithe + Ironside): the story of a faerie raised as a human finding herself lucky enough to earn power over a royal faerie. For this ship, there was this storyline of ‘win your love by completing a quest’ and that’s what felt fairytale-like to me. Only, it was a bit twisted because faeries can’t lie, and that made the quest tricky.

The Modern Faerie Tales (Valiant): In this one, the ship and the insta-love were kinda it (fairytale-like), but then there was this scene where the girl almost lost the one she loved and the way she tried to delay that happening and then saved him was what actually hit like a Faerie fairytale to me.

The Stolen Heir (duology): sooo, I loved how the story started with a girl wishing for more in her life, wishing for magic, and then in a way, having that wish come true, only it’s a Holly Black story so of course magic only mostly brings horrors instead of sparkles, leaving one of the most common messages/warnings from fairy tales, ‘be careful what you wish for.’ I also loved that our fmc was made of sticks and snow, which again, is something I’d heard before in a fairy tale as a kid (I think it’s also mentioned in a grishaverse short story, the witch one? I don't actually remember, but yeah.) The twist added here was that, unlike those stories I heard where a girl who was made this way could be unmade by other people just as easily ‘if someone did this or that,’ (or maybe it’s still a part of the books, I can’t recall), Holly made Suren extremely powerful and almost invincible, and I loved that a lot. (Also, I didn’t see the Snow White story stuff here until I read this post by @of-the-way-and-wildflowers , but after reading it, I definitely do see it, and absolutely love it!) The cliché ending here, I suppose, is the way Suren came back?

I hope you got from this the answer you were looking for, anon. I don’t think I ever made a post on how I see fairy tales in these books before, so thanks a lot for this ask!

—bee 💗

[poemnic-tarot]

Pick a Poem To See Your Messages!🐋

(Disclaimer : This is a general reading please only take what resonate. For entertainment purposes only)

🐋 🦢 ☁️ 🫧 💫 You Are Loved 🐋 🦢 ☁️ 🫧 💫

Pile 1⚡️ - Where am I tonight? by @cant-find-my-name

Where am I tonight?

Although I search for myself

Long and Hard

Still, I could not find

Who was I looking for?

Who am I?,

When I shine spotlight on it

It seem difficult to define,

'To define is to limit"

Then, I must not be

Who I thought I would be

But hopefully, whoever I will become Would still be me

And maybe that person

May be the person I was looking for,

Eventually, I will reconcile the me now

And the Me

I wish to be

Meaning:

This poem is about looking for yourself. Sometime, you don't even notice that you are not who you thought you are. In this 3D world, there are a lot of projections from people, whether that would be from families, friends, school or organisations. That would have definitely distorted yourself image. An image of yourself, you thought you are this type of person, value this thing until one day, you realised that was not you at all. When you finally have time to get to know yourself, a lot of your initial impression of yourself changed. I could never do that, I would never do this. That's definitely not me. Example, I'm not the type to dance to a cover song and post it online. I will never see myself sing publicly for millions to see.I would never dye my hair blue, etc. But when you uncovered yourself bit by bit, possibilities are endless. Things you would never thought that you would do, you find yourself seeing the possibilities for the first time. Trying to reconcile a part of you that you have no idea who she/he/they is/are. One part said, 'I could never start my own business’ the other part would go, ‘let's try it!.’ Whatever I want to be?, successful, brave, hard- working, relax, blue hair?, that's who I'm going to be.

The Messages

There's a natural progression to your self evolution. You might not notice but you have grow a lot Pile one. Steadily, becoming someone you alway admire. Now you're standing in that position or could be in that position. Example, you saw a singer on stage doing an amazing job and she really inspire you and you want to be like her one day. Well, one day is here or will be here shortly. Give yourself some credit, you grew up beautifully despite going through horrid events after events. Heartbreak after heartbreak. You bloomed purely, and will continue to do so. One minute you're a child and the next you are a teenager and a young adult. And next an adult. Life moves fast but you did not waste time. You used it to your advantage. Time did not used you. Maybe who you are chasing to become, has alway been there all along.

"What if we already are, who we been dying to become" this quote is from the song you got, Four by Sleeping at Last.

Have more faith and trust in yourself. You are progressing naturally, beautifully, unfolding.

Quote- "Because we can't see what's ahead, you have to trust that the dots will connect in your future."

Trust that the person you need in any situation will appear. Appear almost alway, it's you. You are that person.

Affirmation : "I give myself permission to be alone, connect with myself and appreciate my solitude"

Signs: 77, 678, VII, baby breath, Mirror

Song : Four by Sleeping At Last

What if we already are Who we've been dying to become In certain light, I can plainly see A reflection of magnificence Hidden in you Maybe even in me

🐋 🦢 ☁️ 🫧 💫 You Are Loved 🐋 🦢 ☁️ 🫧 💫

Pile 2🍊 - “Life Lesson” by @cant-find-my-name

Human aren't perfect

The lesson wasn't learn

So let try again

And learn it one more time,

You'll get infinite chances

Who to say enough is enough?

Except you of course, remember

You have all the say

You are the Authority of your life

No one should drive it

You must make your own decisions

And live by it

Or else, resentment will come

If you give your life control

By someone

Meaning:

This poem is about learning the same lessons twice, thrice or even fourth times. Doesn't matter as long as we are still trying to learn. As long as we are alive and growing. As long as it take to learn the lesson of life. As long as you don't give up on life. Chances are infinite, if only you give it to yourself. People tend to give limited/ restricted timeline to their life for whatever reason. Example, I should have marry before turning 30 or I'm 39 why aren't my goals and dream coming true?. The one to accept those as truth is you and only you. You have to make your own choice. This poem talked about making decision for you, no one else. Or else when you have to live a life by that decision, you may find yourself hating the person you made it for. Example, I made a decision to go to college and did medicine, not because I want to but I did it for my parent. That mean the lesson has not been learn and you are living a life not for you. And there will come a day, the choices will come again, and it will be up to you to make the decision. Will you continue the same path, the same pattern or will you choose yourself for once?. This is the idea where the poem is based on.

The Messages:

It's okay to start again. The new ideas or project or business plan that you are considering, Go for it. It is alright to begin anew, leave behind what didn't work out because it was just an experienced. We shouldn't judge an outcome from our experienced whether they are successful ones or not so successful. Because all of them are equally ours and all of them were necessary to teach us what we needed to learned at that time. Time for a new outlook, you are afraid to be disappointed like before but you are not the same person as you were. If your goals is abundance, isn't it better to try every ways we can towards it?. Give it its rightful justice by trying many different paths towards it. Trying just one path or one way and called it quit, seem inconclusive.

It is time to start again, with experienced, so we can heal what didn't work out, so we can become more secure in our decision. So we can trust our decision again. We can alway trust our decision, even when it lead us where we didn't want to go. But it will alway lead us where we needed to be. Expand our usual path and see if we can get to our goal a different way. Get yourself to a place where, 'it's okay if it happened and it's okay if it doesn't happen'. The outcome doesn't affect my sense of self. Don't give up on your dreams even if it doesn't work, this time. It just mean you are giving another chance to do it again, differently.

Affirmations: "I am brave enough to do what I need to do. I believe in myself. I can do it."

"I am strong enough and will be okay with the outcome"

Signs: 34, SWORDS, Ginger, Ranunculus, snail

Song: AM I DREAMING by Lil NAS x Miley Cyrus

Every song Every dream filled with hell from beyond As I'm sinkin', I relive the story Every try Every breakthrough and every cry As I'm sinkin', I relive the story

🐋 🦢 ☁️ 🫧 💫 You Are Loved 🐋 🦢 ☁️ 🫧 💫

Pile 3🍉 - “Let It Go / Dandelion” by @cant-find-my-name

Let it go, Dandelion with the wind

Don't let the failures

Tattooed on your skin

Cause nothing is ever worth your

Peace

Even if it is war

Even if it didn't work out

Now you know

You deserve so much more,

Rejection isn't a destination

It is part of this journey

Giving in doesn't mean giving up

The most important lesson in life is

Knowing when

Enough is enough

Meaning:

This poem is about accepting 'failures' or things that didn't work out, such as a relationship, a goals, a destination. We all have things that we planned or things that we expected it to be. Like I entered into a business partnership and I expected it to be going well. It is important to focus on the positive side of thing but when it didn't work out like how you hope, which it will alway happened, can you accept it?. Most people find it easy to accept success but find it difficult to accept failures. Which is understandable, however, that won't do because success and failures goes hand in hands and things that didn't work out is part of life or should be part of normal life not an end all be all situation.

This poem is also about giving up. Not in a ‘give up on life' kind of energy buy more of surrendering the outcome to the Divine. If and when you tried your best and it didn't go your way or even when it did, the outcome you want doesn’t serve you anymore. It is alright to give up, it is alright to quit. To change our mind. To change our mind is not alway equating failure. It just mean the things we're going for is no longer in alignment with us anymore. Such as, changing your major halfway through college, changed career path, your goals, your values, your style, etc. These things within us are ever changing. This poem summarisation is that things are ever changing and that it is OKAY. We need to know when enough is enough, with ourself, our goals, our life.

The Messages:

Keep going as you are. Do not stop. Keep your momentum because you will get to where you are headed. Even if it by fears or desperation or anxiety. Still, take your step by step. Concentrated on the positive, what worked out for you not what didn't. You will have a choice to make in regards to your stability and security. In a way, that is what you're going towards. A place where you can make a choice. To be able to choose is a privilege. To be able to choose is empowering. A position where a limited mindset could never be in. 'There's no choice or it is how it is', you know that's not true. That's limited mindset. You alway know that everyone have a choice, they just choose not to have one and blame external circumstances. But when you're in your power and honour yourself, the most empowering choice would be, choosing yourself. Most won't do it, because it's too much to take. But despite your hesitant Pile 3, you are asked to choose yourself and keep going. Start choosing yourself and never stop, because one day, you will reach that inner security you're alway craving. It isn't in any external things, money, status, groups, but within us, there's a voice that have never been heard because we never listen. But once you do, they are not stopping you Pile 3, whoever you're looking for to guide the way, that person is YOU. Repeat the affirmation to yourself Pile 3, "you are not a failure. You are talented, capable, strong and are going places."

Affirmation: "I am capable, I am talented, I am a gift"

Signs : 248, 24, Horses, Twin, Baby, Greek Goddess, Red Rose

Song: You're on your own, kids by Taylor Swift

From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes I gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this I hosted parties and starved my body Like I'd be saved by a perfect kiss

The jokes weren't funny, I took the money My friends from home don't know what to say I looked around in a blood-soaked gown And I saw something they can't take away

'Cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned Everything you lose is a step you take So make the friendship bracelets Take the moment and taste it You've got no reason to be afraid

🐋 🦢 ☁️ 🫧 💫 You Are Loved 🐋 🦢 ☁️ 🫧 💫

Pile 4⭐️- ‘Safe Blanket’ by @cant-find-my-name

The world seem to be against

Me

But you whispered in my ears

'That's not true, why don't you look closely'

Stop telling yourself lies

The sky only bring you calm

The trees evokes your peace

The stars shared your longing,

Curious eyes filled with

Mystery,

The world is here for you

If only you let yourself be

And let yourself see

The Meaning :

This poem is about not being negatively bias because human tends to do that. We tend to look for the flaws first, for things that didn't work out. For things that we don't have, for things that's wrong. It's natural to do that but again, Negatively bias brain. Because in reality, it is not as bad as it seem. This poem is to act as a reminder that the Universe is working for me, not against me. There are tree, ocean, sky, beautiful nature all around. As long as you live on this earth and respect it, it will do the same. You are not targeted, you are not the only one feeling pain, no one is out to get you. The tree will only give you peace if only you let it. We must opened our eyes and our heart to truly appreciate earth's beauty. Our first Mother will alway be Mother Earth, Mother Gaia and we are her children. Mother earth is our home and where ever you go , there are nature, and where there are nature, then that is also your home. This poem remind us that we belonged in nature, within this earth. If when ever you feel unsafe, ungrounded, alway look for the tree, go towards nature because she is alway there for you.

The Messages:

Success is yours Pile4 , what ever success means to you. It is your birthright to shine in this world. Victory in life is your birthright. So rest, let the worries, the what's if? the doubts go. Let it flow down the drain and let us bath in this world divinity. Let the world carries you towards where you aim to go, to your destination. Anything you wish for will be aided by the Universe.You know Pile 4, that you are very lucky, very privilege in this life. You are in a position people would envied. People see you and goes 'that person got the best end of the stick in life’. And acknowledge that but in a way, it's because you alway believed that the Universe is working for you and never against you. You rest assured that The Universe alway have your back. And when you believe in something like that, there's nothing in life you can't do. You don't limit yourself to what you can or cannot do. You don't limit yourself to what you can or cannot have. To who you can and cannot be. “The world is against me...." is just an excuse and a lie.This poem helped you see that you got the biggest allied at your side. So go through life knowing you are loved and supported. Cause you are. Go through life rest in the knowing that you are okay or you alway will be okay and you are not alone on your journey.

Affirmation: "I release limiting beliefs and empowered myself to achieve more."

Signs: 77, leaves, horse, Yellow house, Gold

Songs: The Moon Will Sing by The Crane Wives

Tell me once again I could have been anyone, anyone else Before you made the choice for me My feet knew the path We walked in the dark, in the dark I never gave a single thought to where it might lead

🐋 🦢 ☁️ 🫧 💫 You Are Loved 🐋 🦢 ☁️ 🫧 💫

Thank you so much for reading!. Please let me know what you think. See you soon!

🌈Donate Paypal: https://paypal.me/Poemnic

☀️Check out @cant-find-my-name for more of my original poetry

🍉Check out my YouTube channel for more Pick-A-Card!! : PoemNic-Tarot

🐋 🦢 ☁️ 🫧 💫 You Are Loved 🐋 🦢 ☁️ 🫧 💫

[kpopscruggles]

its 🏳️‍🌈 anon here im on vacation so im gonna tell this pent up frustration cause i cant jerk off huhu (gonna make it gay and i cant write so sorry)

a. part time gym trainer college student sungchan surprised that his classmate/crush walk into his gym and having to touch his crush because hes in love with a twink that has never hold a weight before. it ends with a drink or dare where his crush dared sungchan to do push ups and every push up he tries to say his crush's name and after he did it 20 times sungchan dares his crush to do crunches while moaning his name for 20 times

"come on yn u could do more than 5" sungchan said holding your legs while you are laying down obviously red and sweating. sungchan tried his best not to fuck you right then and there.

seeing you struggle do your 6th crunch made sungchan go feral "sungc-" sungchan kisses you passionately

"god i love your voice. but i love shutting you up more"

b. school heartbreaker heeseung (idk if u like enha much but hesjdjjf) always winning his football fuck list competition where they pick a name from a fish bowl and get them to fuck then before finals. with a team full of visuals its not hard but it turned into a challenge when the team decided to prank heeseung's last time playing the game as a senior.

"dude wtf why did you wrote y/n. hes a man!" hee protested

"oh come on dude its obvious how much you wanna fuck this man" jake replied

"DUDE EWW? im not gay + hes a really nice person hes cute hes hella smart hes fun to talk to he does this cute smile when hes especially talking to me an-"

"uh huh the guy youre talking about thats "not ur crush" is right over there" jake put emphasis on not ur crush with finger quotes

oh fuck. hes cute. was all he said on his head when he saw yn

"damn heeseung thought you would last longer than that?" yn said but heeseung just blanked out remembering the first time he saw you before doing the game

"heeseung?" "i love you" it was yn's turn to blank out as all he hesrd after that was a slurs of i love you while heeseung messily drove yn to his high

c. its hard being alone in your 20s especially with drowning yourself in your work while having no one to share anything with: your problems, your success, everything. and its really bad when you have no social life because you cant rant to someone about your two hot buff dilf neighbors who live together.

"they're prolly not into me im a twink theyre daddies maybe thats why they live together" you said over and over again while trying to not look at your neighbors infront of you wearing nothing but sweatpants

"eyes up here sweetheart" sunghoon said

"yk if you want this you could just ask" sungchan said while pointing on his yk what

d. drunk yn has been ranting to his best friend sungchan about his single life, he had always done this but its new years and sungchan is sick and tired of yn's shenanigand

"yn really again? yk what suck it" he opened his jeans and showed his dick thats bulging from his underwear

"are u fucking serious?" yn asked

"deadass. im sick and tired of you ranting that youre a single virgin every year. especially when i could be the one to solve that problem"

"what?" good thing yn didn't heard the last part sungchan said

"are you gonna suck it or not?"

thats all i got 😵‍💫😵‍💫 IDK IF ITS RVEN OK

Sungchan is DEF NOT hiding the fact that he’s enjoying every moment of his name coming you your mouth!!! And when your doing crutches he’ll hold your feet but end up just running his hands up your hips “cmon baby keep up…you can’t grow weak just yet” and his hands with just fiddle with the waistband of your shorts!!! Seeing you struggle would also kill him untill he just smiles “take a rest, you’ll need some energy for what I’m gonna do to this cute body of yours”

Heeseung!!!!!! (I love this plot and yes I love enha) this is definitely something he then can’t go without! He’ll become feral to the point that if you two begin dating or not he’s gonna brag ab you, ab how you make him a cum covered mess, he doesn’t care!!! After every game he’s fucking you because that’s how you give him a lil reward!!!! CAR SEX AFTER PRACTICE!!! He’s just annoyed that his coach was being a dick and just rails you in the backseat of his car while ranting to you at the same time 😭😭

“You wanna see it up close?” Sunghoon would go fucking feral too see you drill over his cock, especially while it’s just in sweatpants “I can give you a little peek if your be a good boy for me, can you do that baby? Hmm?”

Sungchan will just slowly pump his cock “go on, I know you want too which pisses me off even more that I still have to hear you complain..”

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Happy Holiday weekend! Here are some replies…

Anonymous asked:

Have you read the Twisted Wonderland manga adaptation yet? I think you would really enjoy them

We haven’t and we don’t really plan to (since Yana Toboso didn’t work on them outside of some tidbits that we’re interested in, such as character’s younger versions design). But the artists for the manga did such a good job, that we really appreciate the art of it whenever we see someone posts it. The Tweels and Azul specifically look amazing.

Anonymous asked:

(with the jadesil asks but also just jade in general) mushrooms do look a bit like a certain... something, no? 🍆

They sure do. I wonder if Jade thinks about it… he certainly noticed it lol Especially considering that both of these things are kind of new to him…

“Oh, but don’t put the mushrooms anywhere please!^^”

blackbutlerfandomnerddomain asked:

So you ship CrewelTrein which is funny for me cause I honestly have a AU where Crewel is his out of wedlock child he didn't know about/headcanon as a father figure, so now with this ship being shown and lowkey agreeing with it despite my AU/thoughts now thought of Crewel being a student and being so frustrated by Trein he jerked it once and discovered he has a lot of daddy issues which includes a daddy kink but not him being called daddy or bottoming just Trein being "daddy" and he fucks him

lol I love how it turned into a “daddy issues/daddy kink” but WITH A TWIST

It could be funny if these two discovered they have a blood bond…but even if they don’t and Trein is just a father figure, it’s honestly even more funny, because having him as a father figure certainly didn’t stop Crewel from doing thing lol

blackbutlerfandomnerddomain asked:

OKay! BUT! Azul and Floyd walking in on Idia and Riddle either making out (with permission from their doms) or fucking each other with a double sided toy! (inspired by a comic I red of two subs making out before their doms showed up and boom fourway/double sided sex)

Alright, now I gotta know which one of these 4 saw this scenario in their head while they were asleep, because Idia and Riddle are probably the worst people for such a thing: not only they wouldn’t dare to do it by themselves, but to cooperate?? I wonder what would make them… well, ironically, Floyd could lol

(but the visual is like a classic hentai thing and would definitely leave Azul and Floyd kind of speechless lol)

dawnstar-33 asked:

I should be asleep rn but oh well Twst is more important...

Random thoughts I cant share with my friends (smh they wont watch playthroughs with me)

-Does that black streak in the tweels hair not annoy them? I'd be so mad about it especially as I have a similar haircut as the tweels 😭

-Twst x Mean girls!!! I can't remember where I saw it first, but now I can't unsee it! Vil as the one and only Regina George, Rook as Grechen and Cater as Karen! With Neige as Cady (World Burn is playing as I write this...)

-Not sure when I thought of this- Jamil and Kalim (either as a romantic or platonic attraction) with this one quote

"You're my soulmate, my life, but I'm not yours."

And that concludes my random thoughts at 3am 😭🫶

Twst really is more important than sleep lol I hope you sleep well though! And that your friend gives up and treats themselves by watching twst with you >:3

Here are my thoughts regarding your thoughts! Sorry for the late reply.

I think they’re very used to it lol Since they had to maneuver with it underwater ever since they were young… But I can picture Floyd accidentally catching it with his mouth and spitting in annoyance lol

LOVE Mean girls and the musical version is also great, HOWEVER! As someone who simps for both Vil and Regina, I don’t really think they’re similar. Vil has way too much dignity to do the “awww I love it how cute (I hate it it’s ugly)” thing, he’s usually just brutally honest lol And Regina is one messy bitch. Ironically, I feel like Azul fits the role better, despite not necessarily being a queen bee… I can definitely see Vil and Neige playing the roles of Regina and Cady though, it would be interesting. And infuriating for Vil, probably lol

Ohhh this is beautiful and sad. Yeah, Jamil and Kalim’s relationship with each other is quite asymmetrical on every level.

[devilsainz]

First, Thank you @watercolor-hearts for tagging me! when i saw it i knew it wouldnt be an easy task (mostly because i love to talk a lot lmao) but i liked the concept and felt that it would be interesting way to dive more into the ships i am fond of.

Pairing/Shippy list!

Here are the rules:

1. List your top seven ships.

2. Put them all in order for your love for them; 7 to 1, 1 being your favourite.

3. Name the fandom.

4. Put a picture of the guys in question.

-

7. Ziam (Zayn/Liam Payne) (One Direction)

weird way to start this list, since its not f1 related, and i very much believe it's a dead ship now. But honestly they deserve this honorable mention for being the first ship i adopted, and i didnt even care about One Direction or their music around that time (in fact i cant remember even how i stumbled upon this ship lmao). These two together just had so much chemistry for me, either on stage, interviews, or anything really. also they were my introduction to this whole idea of "ship" (Larry was the absolute more popular one obviously, but it was Ziam that really SUCKED me in like a vacuum cleaner). Unfortunately, Liam's distasteful comments last year bursted my bubble about them (even though he has explained this year he wasn't in a good place, and i personally think they are okay with each other, even though still distant), but i still like to watch their compilation videos on youtube sometimes, it's quite bittersweet :')

6. Martian (Sebastian Vettel/Mark Webber) (Formula 1)

honestly i feel i just dont put these two higher because they feel somewhat new to me, like i need to dive into them more. I just think its such a fun ship in the sense that it has a looot of things going on at the same time, their very public rivalry and the famous multi 21, mark's angry face at that one press conference, it could be so so angsty but they just make me laugh (also, the making love on track quote is now burned into my brain so in no way they could be out of this list).

5. Christian horner/Toto wolff (Formula 1)

okay okay this is the part yall realize im actually crazy. but... they DO have chemistry when they are interacting, even in their non-amicable moments, and i do love myself some good enemies to lovers. Obviously it helps that i think they both are very actrattive, sexy middle aged men that have hunger for victory and i believe they hold so much respect and admiration for each other, considering they are the two most sucessfull TP's at this point. Also, HEIGHT DIFFERENCE.

4. Versainz (Max Verstappen/Carlos Sainz) (Formula 1)

(i wanted to find that ONE gif where he lifts carlos a little so bad but this one will do) Oh, this one really rocketed fast into my favorites. I just think they are just so wholesome. I always feel Max is warmer towards a certain number of drivers, and Carlos is one of them. And i dont even ship them in a ... kind of way, even tho it makes sense in my head the narrative that both were each others "first's" before going into bigger ships. Its just that it feels so special that both debuted together as teammates and, both took different trajectories in the way their career planned out, but theres still a genuine connection between them, at least in my view.

3. Maxiel (Max Verstappen/Daniel Ricciardo) (Formula 1)

I know its weird because i dont really post about them. But this falls into the same category as versainz for me, except that here there's a kind of dynamic that it makes me go "hmm... interesting". I always like to see max smiling and being happy because this boy went thru so much in his childhood, and oh how Daniel knows how to bring this side of Max. If Max can be warmer to certain drivers, for Daniel he has a whole SOFT SPOT, and i think that's very endearing. IMO, Daniel feels like the person that changed him in deeper ways we know, that one person that was indirectly a "life teacher" to him maybe, and thats special to me.

2. Brocedes (Lewis Hamilton/Nico Rosberg) (Formula 1)

Oh, the ANGSTY in this one. yes, this one deserves the ANGSTY in all caps because to me that's them. Oh to have lived through their divorce must have been heartbreaking but what a freaking cinematic ship this one is. I just can't ignore it. How it feels to me that Nico is the one who wears his heart on his sleeve, while Lewis has that chilling Capricorn control over his emotions is so. just so. And the fact that Nico's legacy is forever entangled in Lewis' name. If a movie screenwriter would come up with this, i'd think it would be overdramatic, but no, theyre actually this unhinged.

Charlos (Charles Leclerc/Carlos Sainz) (Formula 1)

how do i even start talking about these two idiots? Okay, so obviously i think they're both very attractive and that definetely helped me to ship them lmao. But thats kind of reductive, because these two have sooo much chemistry in my opinion, even before their ferrari days, there was so much potential waiting to bloom, and it did. I love their banter, their competitiveness, how they can get childlike around each other sometimes. How they are so physical, how they make each other laugh (let me not talk about their gazes to each other or i will not end this today). I love how Carlos doesn't hide he wants to compete with Charles (which brings him unnecessary hate sadly), and how both respect each other in this stance. There's a bit of angsty underneath this soft/fluffy surface too (more from Carlos' perspective imo - but lets not forget Charles and Silverstone 2022 too - this is my charlos angsty origin story), but they still find their way, and that kind of compels me even more into them. I just think theres so many layers, multitudes, in the way we can create, write and read about them. Absolute favorites.

-

Tagging @schumiatspa and @sainzjpeg 😊

obviously, feel free to ignore if you dont want to play, no hard feelings around here ❤, and also 7 ships are quite a work! if you're not tagged but want to make your list, feel free to do it and consider yourself tagged by me 😘

[hermitfic-ao3]

Hello! I saw earlier someone requesting a lost fic, so here I am (please tell me if this isnt allowed here)

About a year or two ago I saw a 3rd life desert duo fic where scar moves into an old abandoned house, and his stuff kept being moved around/taken by a ghost/entity/thing (Grian). The triggering point where Scar meets Grian was where he was taking a pumpkin pie and Grian asks him why he won't leave despite his actions. I think there was a quote from Grian saying "I've buried all my friends" or something referencing 3rd life.

I've looked absolutely everywhere but I cant seem to find it :(

i’m so sorry anon but i can’t seem to find the fic! if you remember anything about it feel free to reply and i can search again. if anyone knows what fic this is please reblog! <3 -Mod Solaris ☀️

[akkivee]

mentally ill about stage mtr if i’m being quite honest lol:

*collapses to my knees* AYUKAWA TAIYOU I KNOW YOU CANT HEAR ME AND WOULDNT BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND ME IF YOU COULD BUT I NEED YOU TO KNOW I WOULD D—

*crying* LIKE PLS THIS MANS DANCING BRINGS ME TO LITERAL TEARS

IF YOU LOOKED UP ON MEME DICTIONARIES UNDER ‘HAVE YOU SEEN A MAN SO BEAUTIFUL YOU STARTED CRYING’ AYUKAWA TAIYOUS JAKURAI WOULD BE PICTURED

I QUITE LITERALLY DOWNLOADED BLENDER ON MY LAPTOP TO LEARN HOW TO 3D MODEL HE HAD ME DOWN SO BAD AFTER WATCHING HIM PERFORM BLAST WOLF FOR THE FIRST TIME

I CANT BELIEVE THE STAGE TOOK HIS JAKURAI AWAY FROM HIM AND FROM US HE HELD IT TOGETHER BUT MANS WAS PRACTICALLY CRYING AT THE FINAL BOP2023 PERFORMANCE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—

god like…………………………. this is some of the hardest loss i’ve been struggling to process i can’t imagine anyone else playing such a flawless 2.5D sensei other than ayukawa-san 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

he and hayami-san had the time of their lives making dad jokes in front of thousands lol during their cross talk and i’ll never forget the slight awe he had when hayami-san made a pun using his name lol

it was a sun = taiyou kinda joke iirc and i feel like he did use it further down the line 😭😭😭😭

UGH ugh uuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh god the stage mtr scene i never stop thinking about was their rep live skit, the last one i think????? where dohifu got into hijinks trying to stop sensei from doing his job bc they were worried he’d consumed alcohol via treats hifumi brought

they wound up circling him and then lifting him off the ground in a very strange but hilarious sequence of events and jakurai laughingly told them it’d been a very long time since he’d been carried in any sort of fashion and he thanked them for bringing fun into his life EXCEPT!!!!!! ITS AN AD-LIB AND IM CERTAIN THAT WAS AYUKAWA-SAN TOUCHED BY HOW MUCH FUN HE WAS HAVING WITH THEM I HATE IT HERE

i can’t remember which day of bop2023 it was but in that mad scramble of wardrobe changes he accidentally had a button left undone on his tdd jakurai shirt and i know how that sounds that i noticed it but the way he smoothly buttoned it as he descended stairs is even more seared into my brain lmao

ayukawa-san is buff as hell lmao the ease at which he carried ramuda during king of kings was immaculate lmao and i’m not strong enough to pretend like i didn’t imagine a gym bros hitojaku au based on how swole they are lmao

he breached the 190cm mark in height and the way he reacts to others reacting to his height cracks me up lmao throwback to that one time he walked in to record bright and dark i think and one of the staff just blurted out, ‘you’re huge!!!!!’ and ayukawa-san responded, ‘i sure am!!!!! 😃’ LOL

in the interest of talking about the other actors i’m cutting myself off but i’m not joking when i say i hate here pls i always quote this but hayami-san was so right when he said the stage actors can’t just be easily replaced, they are the characters for a lot of people too 😭😭😭😭

hirofumi-san’s hifumi was peak host ngl lol

the bat and mtr actors got along insanely well after their play and the way hirono-san and ide-san bullied hirofumi-san only for it to just like, bounce off the man bc he was that self assured and a diva is so funny lmao but that’s exactly why his host hifumi was flawless lol

not that his hifumin wasn’t fun either!!!!!!! stage hifumin doesn’t get to be as silly as his canon counterpart so i can’t blame hirofumi-san for that lol

but his switch from hifumin to host is so insane like i don’t have words to describe how it rotted my brain tbh lmao

so like, i definitely mourned kodai-san’s doppo when he left the role but ik it was bc i liked how obvious he played doppo’s crush on jakurai LOL

ide takuya had me by the balls the moment i saw him tho but we’ll get back to that in a sec lol i still weep over the puppy dog eyes kodai-san always gave sensei lol

throwback to that time he asked sensei to pump his stomach (iirc) and was very disappointed when jakurai shot him down before he could finish the sentence LOL

vocally, i like his doppo a smidge 🤏 better like his screaming hits different than ide-san’s and i do find myself missing it sometimes listening to stage mtr’s older songs lol

but enough about him let’s talk about idedoppo LOL

i’m not kidding when i say i stanned from the the moment i saw him but i am uniquely weak to long haired punks you can’t put him in front of me and expect me to not accept him immediately LOL

he goes so crazy as dopopoppo too THAT FINAL BOP2023 WHERE HE RAN YARDS TO DEFEND HIFUMI????? HE HAD THE CROWD YELLING DURING HIS SOLO IN MTRS REP LIVE????? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

him messing with hirofumi-san for not being able to do finger choreography and hirofumi-san tickled by being messed with 🥺🥺🥺

(hirofumi-san very much could do the finger choreography when it mattered btw lmao)

AND THE SONG HE MADE UNDER HIS OWN NAME DEDICATED TO DOHIFU?????????? AND HAD HIROFUMI-SAN GUEST STAR IN THE MV?????? PLS THEY LOVED MTR I HATE IT HERE

[queerspaceprince]

super long post

i saw the tv glow spoilers, me being depressing, tw's in tags

i went to see I Saw the TV Glow this afternoon. i got it. def cried a little (idk if hrt has stopped me from crying more bc i havent cried since i was in hs anyway) my sib got it, tho we havent talked ab it yet bc im still processing even now. my mom did not get any of it. at all. wasnt affected. thats fine, whatever.

and. jesus. i give the movie a 15/10, but it was. a whole lot. i have too many emotions.

Im def gonna mention a few spoilers so if you dont want to be spoiled, is your warning.

it made me feel too much. is the allegory really allegory if the hidden meaning is right at the surface?

when owen says that thing during their convo on the bleachers -i cant remember the exact words fuck- something about feeling hollow or missing something or whatever, how he thinks something is wrong with him and his parents do to-i feel that. so much. i felt it so much more before my egg cracked, but i still feel it in relation to my depression and anxiety. that hit me.

there was also that part about feeling like you're watching yourself from the outside, as if through a tv. oof.

then the whole thing maddie said about how time didnt feel right, how nothing changed when she left. i get it. I was 10 nd my parents got divorced, and suddenly im 11 and thinking i wanted to d1e for the first time, and then im 14 in a kind of manipulative relationship, with like 1 friend and super depressed, and then i was graduating and realizing im queer and exploring my gender and going through a breakup. then im 20, and getting my first job, and coming out to my family. and now im 26. and i still mostly feel the same way i always have. i have more good days, and im more confident now, but i still feel like im just going through the motions a lot of the time.

when did I stop being a kid? ive been an adult for 8 years and Im still only working part time (32 hrs), still living with my mother bc rent is $$$$, still barely functional enough that I havent cleaned my room since last year and ive only showered 3 times in the past week, and i have to force myself to go get coffee on my days off or else ill stay in bed all day. Im just stuck here. i shouldve taken driving lessons when I could. id be out. except i cant leave my sibling behind with my mother. shes not awful, but them being alone is an explosion waiting to happen. but they dont have a job and i doubt i could support both of us. and now i dont trust my eyes enough, like i read for 15 minutes and everything else goes blurry, like im seeing triple.

anyway. next is the scene in where she talks about k1lling herself to get back to the pink opaque world. I. have to admit i nearly threw up. the imagery, the way she spoke about it. she said she regretted it while she was stuck underground, then how she felt good about it, about getting out....ive been sitting in a low spot for a while, it was better while we were on our trip, but it just reverted when we came back. i keep thinking im going to relapse into sh again. i feel so close to the edge sometimes. and theres really no reason for it either. my life is fine. not great, not perfect. but adequate. anyway i had to close my eyes and take a minute after that.

i feel that even without wanting to go back to the other world, maddie was suicidal. she wouldve found some reasoning to k1ll herself. Now ive only ever been actively su1cidal once, when i was 15 -or 16- idk my teen years are all a blur of depression and anxiety. im good now. well. i say good. im more, self destructive then really wanting to d1e. just. i feel so bad on the inside for no reason, why can i have a reason to hurt on the outside?? anyway, im ok now, im 3.5 years clean, i dont want that to change. im working on my coping mechanisms.

there was another quote from that planetarium scene that i couldnt stop thinking about but has now vanished from my mind entirely. bc sometimes getting my thoughts in order is like. catching smoke.

anyway. then everything after that. him growing old. knowing something about him is different but not wanting to acknowledge it or it would drastically his life as he knows it. I understand that feeling. except for me, its not exactly acknowledgement of myself, its doing something about it. while I didnt exactly stay in the closet long, that feeling of not wanting anything to change is why the closet exists. i realized i was queer in 2014, trans 2015. came out as bi that summer, but i didnt come out as trans until 3 years later. when I had a job. access to money if i ended up getting kicked onto the street. i literally had a bag packed and ready to go. and yet. even when i did come out, i was too afraid to correct my family on my pronouns or name for another year. my sibling really helped with that. immediately used them. Tbh theyre my fave person and id do anything they asked.

the whole thing about there still being time.

i see a lot of tiktoks about this. people watning to do stuff now bc there is still time to change your life or whatever. im interpreting it differently.

there is time now, but your hourglass will run low eventually. live while you still can, while you can still do something about it. how that message showed up after maddie left- their time together had run out, but he might still be able to do something. make a change. idk. but owen was too scared to do anything.

im still scared to do anything.

i still dont correct people on my name or pronouns if they get them wrong. i still dont speak up if my family says anything not pc (they are learning tho). im too scared to talk about any big feeling i have bc ive always been brushed off in the past and i dont want to feel worse becasue of it.

i still havent done anything to get my name or gender marker changed bc im scared. idk why. ive been living as a man for 6 years, i got top surgery almost 3 years ago, and ive been on hrt for nearly 2.

it terrifies me for some reason. maybe ts the complexity of it. ive found 3 different versions of the paperwork, and nowhere does it tell me exactly how or who to submit it too. one of those said i could submit online but it had to be printed, notarized, and scaned back into the computer? none of the other versions said it had to be notarized???

and i have nobody who has any knowlege that could help. my aunt worked for a lawyer for years, and yet she just said all I have to do is go to the dmv. like babe. no. thats not how that works.

i think ill start on that again.

while i still have time.

[notoriouslydevious]

Twitter is fucking weird. IT’S FAN ART.

Haven’t posted my personal thoughts on tumblr in a LONG time and after seeing what I saw on my TL, I just wanted to get everything off my chest. I’ve been posting more settphel fan art on here, but as I’ve stated before, I’m not really a fan of the ship; however, I can appreciate the artists work who draw the ship. Something people on twitter can’t do. 

Apparently someone drew SB Sett & Aphelios with their own OC and it made Settphel-GayLeaguetwt explode? Of course, Bitches- I mean, Witches, is at the forefront (are we even surprised?). Here’s the art in question: 

Sett and Aphelios with Ace’s friend’s OC in the middle. Their oc is absolutely adorable, just vibin’ in the middle of Sett and Aphelios. 

Tweet that started it all:

a mutual of witches said they thought the artist’s oc was cute. This was their response:

Peak intelligence. Destroyed them with facts and knowledge. I don’t know if they’ll ever be able to recover. Even more quote retweets:

“Can we have anything?” How does this take away anything from you? A single piece of fan art in the PLETHORA of Settphel fan art. As someone else mentioned; GravesTF was confirmed this year, Ezko in pulsefire, Lee Sin & Udyr, Aphelios in Sett’s Firecracker splash and now Settpehl in SB? I guess all of these dont count anymore because someone drew fan art of Sett & Aphelios with someone in between them.

People calling the pic “homophobic” even though Sett was hinted to be Bisexual by his narrative writer for the skin line. While people HEADCANON that Aphelios is mlm or ace, he hasn’t been confirmed by Riot as either. So, no, not homophobic. This commenter biphobic? most likely. 

“I hate women making mlm relationships be about them”  “How dare someone draw these characters, that I don’t own, the way they want! They’re so selfish!” 

This was the comment that pushed me to making a post:

“Seems disrespectful” to who? Random people on twitter.com, who ship two fictional characters? How is this fan art ‘disrespectful’? Better, why do you feel disrespected by it? The fan art wasn’t made for YOU, so if you feel disrespected, that sounds like a you problem. Also implied (where?) =/= canon. No where in lore or voice lines, (as of right now) has stated that Aphelios is mlm. I would say that it’s headcanoned by a majority of the Settphel community, but remember, your head canon =/= canon.

They have since deleted their original thread but they’re still quote retweeting:

Again, how does this one piece of fan art erase your representation? This artist’s fan art isn’t canon. Riot themselves didn’t make official promo art of Sett with Soraka or changed his voice lines so he doesn’t call Aphelios mooncake. Settphel is still “canon” whether artists draw them with other characters or not. (also the “I was bi for half my life,” good for you? Dont know what that has to do with fictional characters and a piece of fan art = erasure. It’s giving “I have a black friend” energy.) Also, “people with too much free time,” yet you made a whole ass thread about how “disrespected” you felt about a piece of fan art and continued to talk about it in quote retweets AND in dms after you deleted said thread so...  

Doesn’t matter if it’s canon or not, stop trying to police what artists can and cannot draw. Fan art DOESN’T HAVE TO BE CANON, IT CAN BE WHATEVER THE FUCK PEOPLE WANT IT TO BE BECAUSE IT’S *THEIR* FAN ART. I cant believe that has to be said. There are HUNDREDS of other artists on twitter actually drawing Sett and Aphelios together. I’ve only seen a couple of people draw Settraka and other art like this because psychos dogpile and harass these artists into either deleting the artwork or privating/deleting their account. Yummy, bullying people over fucking fan art. Someone pointed out, “people bully settphel artists too because they don’t like settphel” to which I say, don’t ever bully ANYONE. PERIOD. You don’t like what the artist drew? Block & mute, baby. Leave them alone, let them and mutuals enjoy their art/ship in peace. No one gives a fuck and needs to hear you announce that you don’t like it.  I’ll personally say on my own tumblr blog, “I’m not really a fan of [insert ship here]” but if I ever do make that comment, it’s usually followed by, “but I definitely can appreciate the artist’s work and I like the artist’s style.” Again, I’d never comment that under the artist’s post; I’ll say it in my own personal space. I’ll just give them a like, maybe a retweet and keep on scrolling. They don’t need to know that I’m not into that ship. They probably also dont care and have enough people already telling them that anyways. They didn’t draw it for me, they drew it because they liked it.  “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” I’ve been being a lot better about typing up something to someone else and just thinking to myself, “its not worth it” and deleting the whole thing. I’m not gonna change their mind and they aren’t going to change mine so why bother, you know? Here is my own personal ranting space so it’s a bit different.

And yes, before you point out how this isn’t the only fandom that’s toxic and how toxic other fandoms are, like the genshin fandom, almost everyone pictured here is also part of the genshin fandom. Coincidence? No. Toxic individuals of a feather are gonna flock together lol. 

A cherry on top: 

“I’m going to need to take a break from the community because someone drew fan art of two characters, that I don’t own, with their own oc, and it made that me upset.” Bruh.💀 Fucking toddlers, man. Alright everyone, lesson of the day is: you’re not allowed to draw anyone with anyone else except their canon significant other or the most popular head canon. Yes, I’m going to police what you draw and if you draw what I dont like, it’s erasure and it hurts my feelings. :’c Y’all can only draw what I like, okay? Okay.  But seriously like... bruh. Over ONE. SINGLE. PIECE. of fan art. In the OCEAN of Settphel fan art that’s all over twitter, some settphel fans felt so attacked and butthurt that this person drew one picture of Sett and Aphelios with their OC.

The artist didn’t give a shit about their feelings and drew this in response. All I gotta say is power to ‘em.  

It’s giving:

You’ll always hear me say, as long as it’s not illegal, gore, incest, etc, ship what you want to ship. I’m also going to add to that, let other people ship what they want to ship. Someone drawing the two characters you like not together and with someone isn’t erasure or a personal attack. Sett and Aphelios aren’t your OCs, and artists can draw them doing whatever they want. 

[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

i saw your discussion post about hypersexualization and i wanted to give my two cents on it since it sounded interesting and ive had this internal conversation with myself on the ethics of it.

going on anon but the only necessary things to know about myself are that:

1) i write and draw fanart of these people that are both sfw and nsfw

2) im somewhere in the aromantic-asexual spectrum

in an objective sense, these idols and artists are definitely being hypersexualized by many fans. there are many who thirst, who definitely try and chase to see the idols in more skin and tight fitting clothes not just for the aesthetic appeal but also because it satiates an inner sexual desire. imho this isnt limited to kpop since celebrities of different backgrounds and industries get similar treatment (exhibit a: pedro pascal) but to be very real, its super prominent in kpop.

i find that bit unfortunate. whenever i consume official content from the kpop artists that i love and admire, i always try to consume them in ethical ways and i always want to humanize them. thats why i always think twice when i buy merchandise directly from stores because im very critical about capitalism and consumerism (im not getting into that now though lol). i genuinely only think that its a real danger or that lines are being crossed when these fantasies are trying to be realized or brought to light in front of the artist. thats why i cringe at fanservice and adjacent things: youre pushing your y/n fantasies on the artist when i feel like you should know if theyre even comfortable about it first. :/

where the lines start to blur is when we talk about rpf (real person fiction) ethics. i personally engage in rpf and even rpf nsfw, which probably should contradict what i just said earlier: i think its a little more different than that. whenever im in these spaces, its like a switch turns because at this point, i dont see any of the “idols” as the artists, but instead i see these as characters based on their onstage personas. does that make sense? for example, if im reading mingi smut, i see the “mingi” in this story as a completely separate entity from kpop boy group rapper song mingi from real life, and this “mingi” is instead a character who shares his name and onstage traits but is altered in many ways. in the same vein, i feel less comfortable reading idol!aus because it seems too grounded in reality when i generally mentally and emotionally separate the two things. these characters in my head and personal interpretation of the fics and art that i create and consume are just versions of the personas and characters that these idols play up onstage. honestly, lets face it—mingi in ateez’s lore universe is a character and not a true reflection of mingi, so in the same vein, the versions of mingi that i write and draw about are characters who are explicitly not reflections of how i see mingi in real life.

thats why in concerts and fanmeetings, no matter how close i am to interacting with these people, i never behave out of my limits as a fan. i always separate fandom or at least this subset of fandom from its source aka real life. i read a quote somewhere where an artist commented on fanfiction (i cant for the life of me remember who said this, i think hes from a rock band, oh my god im so sorry) where he said something along the lines of “its not something i should see since its not made for me, its made by fans for my fans.” that quote stuck with me becauss, even if other artists such as kpop idols may perceive this differently and may not be as comfortable with fanfiction and such, the objective point stands that this should be “from fans for fans,” and not “from fans for the artists and their fans to actually get together and smooch.”

sorry this is long! just wanted to chime in. have a nice day :)

Hey, im just about to go to bed so I can't give a detailed response to this but the points you make are very valid and I'm grateful that you sent posted this in.

I'm going to pop a pin in this and then can you just sent through again on the 1st of May so I can add it to the discussion?

Thank you, and if you want to DM about this. That's okay too.

[screechingzephyrr]

So i finished watching the first season of CBS Ghosts, so this is the sequel to my first impressions post. My brain is preventing me from coherently creating thoughts but i know if i dont post this now i will never post it ever.

My thoughts in a big unfiltered list (sorry):

--Isaac is still my favourite character and he is going to forever live rent free in my brain. Him constantly gasping dramatically, him saying Hamilton was “fiNEee” with an eyeroll as hes battling with his love for theatre and his hatred for Hamilton. Icon behaviour. And Isaac and Nigel are so sweet and i love them so much. Everytime he pushed Nigel away i was screaming crying throwing up, silly guy behaviour over here.

--Nigels accent made me fucking wheeze as a british person, its so posh its hilarious and i love him for it

-The contrast between The Captain’s repression and Isaac’s acception is really great and i love them both dearly.

--Trevor is better in my brain now, he barely hits on Sam anymore so uncomfortableness has been vanquished and his backstory made me like him more. I like the twist and how he’s different from Julian with the fact that he didnt die in the act. Im separating them more in my head

--Jay is slightly better i guess? yeah thats it. hes allowed to exist, his and sams relationship still dont really have the right vibes for me but idk its probably just me

—Isaacs and Hettys relationship is so adorable like go off besties gossip about men but very specifically nigel

--Okay im going to be honest some of the episodes dragged and werent really enjoyable for me? maybe its because i thought there were thirteen episodes and when i was finishing episodes ten i was like hyped like “ok im nearly finished lets go!!!!” and then i checked and saw there were EIGHTEEN.

--Episodes i liked a lot / loved:

8)DND

9) Alberta’s Fan

15) Thorapy

16)Trevor’s Pants

17)Attic Girl

18)Farnsby & B

(Mostly because they had Isaac +Nigel in some of them. Also you can see the massive gap which is when i began to lose hope in existing)

--Episodes i hated:

13)The Vault

(BURN IT WITH FIRE. Elias’ ghost power made me want to scream and i had to mute it and fastforward it at on point bc my secondhand embarrassment was too strong for me to handle. The only good part of this episode was when Elias went down -into hell im guessing- and the ghosts screamed collectively. That was funny )

--The humour is really different from BBC ghosts. CBS is less subtle and very outright! i did laugh out loud quite a lot (Mostly bc of Isaac tbh. Also “Oskar is squirrel”).

i do think that its more “in the moment” type humour, if that makes any sense? like i laugh in the moment but i cant remember any jokes from it that i would reference in daily life, BUT maybe thats just because im comparing it to bbc ghosts which i had an allconsuming obsession with and can quote whole parts of episodes off the top of my head and which i influenced my parents into watching it too so we both know the jokes. so yk. its probably just me (again lol)

--also, CBS ghosts treats the Ghosts deaths in a very lighthearted way. None are very heartbroken over their deaths and many easily tell the stories of how they died. I do like this but sometimes they try to have some emotional moments?????? i mentioned this before but they literally have no impact

compared with BBC ghosts which treats each Ghosts death with varying degrees of poignancy, its very different and a nice change

— im glad i got to see more of Sasappis and Flower, theyre both icons tbh. im still wondering where Crash is?? Ive seen him maybe three or four times and one of them was in the background?

UHHH so to conclude,,, i think its a mostly entertaining show with interesting characters! Ive been rewatching a few episodes ive really liked. The episodes i didnt like as much would serve as good background noise i think.

[poems-of-a-lover]

nick watches spiderman (cont.)

im gonna make another post bc i have a feeling im close to hitting the text limit on my other one but we're still on the first movie!! im gonna try and get thru this movie soon bc i HAVE to get to the second ones before my demons get me

okay where we are rn ben just died and peters in his evil era tryin to find the guy who did it

like hes just goin up to random dudes and beating them up bc he thinks its The Guy when its not

and every time i watch this movie i forget if they find him or if the plot point is abandoned bc peter has bigger problems by then KJGSHLKGJHSKH guess we'll remember together

peter falls thru a roof and these guys just let him go. like they leave him there. to be fair what were they supposed to do but still.

this is where we get the inspo to make a suit!! he sees a wrestling poster and is like "that could be me =D"

agh i wanna look like him so BAD bro i wish that were me

shoutout to him STEALING FROM OSCORP to make his web fluid thats so funny

this handstand moment is apparently judged by a lot of fans as him becoming spiderman but theyre SO wrong that doesnt happen until later in the film in my opinion

like thats just my opinion but other ppl can be wrong ig /lh

also how did he get this police radio. how do any of the spidermans get their radios. did they take them from officers. can u buy them. whats goin on here.

omggggg its captain stacyyyyy he'll be important later

like. incredibly important. GKJHSGKJSHGKJ we'll get to him in a minute.

"spandex.....spandex.......everything.......spandex......" i love peter so much

HE'S MAKIN THE SUITTTTT HES GOT THE SUIT NOW!!!!! THE SUIT OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!!

i love this suit sooooo much its so textured and i love the logo its so fun

this car thief scene is rlly the scene of all time i love it

so many good peter lines from this scene

"seriously? u rlly think im a cop? a cop in a skin tight red and blue suit? yknow, u have got the mind of a true scholar, sir" PETER PLEASE BE NORMAL

this head tilt. the peter head tilt. in this context its kinda menacing but hes so me coded bc i also do the head tilt thing KHGSKJDHGKJ

the first time i saw this scene and for a while after i thought he told the cop "i just TOOK 80% of ur job" after he took the gun but he actually says "i just DID 80% of ur job" bc he webbed the criminal and i was so disappointed bc i rlly thought he was making a solid dig at the police force but hes just being petty KJGHSKJGHKSJ

ugh him talking to may here makes me sooooo sad. "u dont have to wait up for me, yknow" "yes i do" SHE LOVES HER NEPHEW PLEASEEEE

shes so worried for her nephew. seeing him hurt just destroys her. this boy is all she has. she lost her husband, her brother, her sister in law, and seeing her nephew come home at god knows what time just beat up and wounded must be so heartwrenching and she cant do anything bc he wont talk to her. i love tasm may shes so interesting.

"aunt may please, please go to sleep." "i cant sleep! dont u understand? i cant sleep! peter, listen to me. secrets have a cost, theyre not for free. not now, not ever." SOOOOO TRUE QUEEN. I SENSE A THEME.

AND THEN HE JUST WALKS OFF. LEAVES HER THERE. AJHGJSKGJAGFSJHF

oh yeah they're pushing curt to start human trials when they cure isnt ready, oscorp is so incredibly corrupt and its done so well in both films

"people die. even norman osborn." AKJGHKJSAGH SOOOOOO TRUE. YES. I HATE NORMAN SO MUCH.

also sorry for just quoting this movie so much it has so many good lines that i could talk about for the rest of my life

oh yeahhhhh this guy wants to start human trials??? at the veterans hospital?????

ugh theyre talking about plot that we dont learn until like the second film so its not important yet but its such a cool thing later on

PETER AND GWENNNNN I LOVE THEM

she really cares about him and it makes me so happy

shes inviting him to dinner!!!! with her family!!!!! its a family hes never met eating a meal hes never heard of but still its with the girl he really likes so hes gonna just deal with it and show up anyway

ugh normans doing things /neg

hes doing human trials. on himself. lets see how this goes HGKJSDHGKJL

oh hi peter. dinner date time.

he brought gwens mother flowers???? KWHGKSJGHSKJHGK theyre a little messed up bc they were in his bag while he was swinging but still!!! he brought flowers for this girls mom hes so sweet

"you must be peter" "dad this is. peter." thank u gwen

oh yeah i failed to mention that the captain of the police department is gwens dad if u didnt catch that from his last name

curt has his arm back!!! the cure worked!!!! hoping and praying that nothing bad happens and he just gets to live a normal life and be happy from now on

he has to go catch the one guy that i forgot the name of (edit its dr ratha) from going to the veteran hospital but the cure is backfiring so hes like. goin thru it. lizard moment.

anyway peter cant cut fish corrcctly

hes never had a fancy meal like this!! hes a little dumb!!!

uh ohhhh theyre talking about spidermannnnn yikes

this is what it feels like to talk politics with relatives

"if i wanted the car thief off the street, he wouldve been off the street" "so why wasnt he then?" PETER. CHILL. UR TRYING TO DATE HIS DAUGHTER PLS BE NICE

"its called strategy, im sure ur aware of the term strategy? maybe u learned about that in school?" MR STACY U ARE ALSO NOT HELPINGGGG

"i think he stands for what u stand for, sir. protecting innocent people from bad guys." banger line right there skajfhksjd

peter still apologized and said that he didnt mean to insult mr stacy but still ksajdfhkjsd cmon peter be nice

BIG PLOT HOLE HERE. peter webs gwen and pulls her closer and she goes "youre spiderman?" before he kisses her. HE HASNT GOTTEN THAT NAME YET. NO ONES CALLING HIM SPIDERMAN YET. WHERE DID SHE GET THAT.

ugh it gets me every time like where did that come frommmm

peter pulling away completely and turning around when her mother catches them is so funny hes trying to be respectful

uh oh crime time

HE JUST JUMPS OFF THE ROOF. BYE.

so yeah curt connors is now a giant lizard monster thing trying to find dr ratha and?? kill him???? okay yeah kill him he just threw his car off the bridge

peter has this moment of either going after lizard or helping save this mans son and he goes to save the kid and i love peter so much

hes also very very good with kids. he convinces this little boy that his mask has special powers to help the kid get out of the car safe and its so sweet

like this kid is terrified and honestly so is peter but hes staying calm and convincing this kid that this mask will make him stronger so he can save him. THIS is the moment i was talking about. this is when peter becomes spiderman.

the moment he gave that kid back to his father alive and safe is when he became a superhero. thats also when he coins the name. but this exact moment is what made him into the actual hero rather than just having the name. he gets home and he stares at his mask bc now he knows he has an immense responsibility to save peoples lives and keep them safe.

i love this movie

oh yeah mr stacy issued an arrest warrant for spiderman after the bridge attack thats so silly of him.

more petergwen lets goooo

"does it scare you? what you can do?" "no." "...youve got to lay low." "no, cant do that." "youve got to. i mean, why?" "because of last night. those people on the bridge. whatever was attacking them wouldve killed them. so i gotta go after it." "thats not your job." "maybe it is." SUCHHHHH A GOOD CONVERSATION. UGH.

OKAY IM GONNA. LEAVE THIS ONE HERE. ive finally got motivation so im gonna keep it going in a reblog like right away but im gonna stop this post here before it gets too long skjhfksjd

[nopefer-art-tu]

OH MY GOD I CANT BELIEVE I ALMOST MISSED POSTING ABT BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN'S ANNIVERSARY???? im gonna get mushy here so if yall wanna skip this go for it i wont hold it against you lol but this movie means a lot to me (if u cant tell) and id just kinda like to share a little bit abt why

I remember when I first saw Brokeback, I'd been either a junior or senior in high school, and I had watched it with my ex. I literally have no clue how we got to watching it or who proposed we watch it in the first place, but I remember that even back then I had been incredibly moved by the story.

Cut to 5-6 years later, and in January of this year I'd been in the midst of a really, super dark depression thanks to some health issues that I've been dealing w for awhile now. It made it so that on top of COVID, I wasn't rly getting out of the house for anything but school, and even then doing that took a really big toll on my anxiety. So basically, from the time that the 2021 winter semester had ended for me in early December, to when school started back up again for the spring in late January, I hadn't left the house at all.

In mid January, like a week before school started back up for me, I was scrolling through Hulu, bored out of my mind and also trying to find something to occupy my time and thoughts w bc I'd been going stir crazy, and I saw that Brokeback had been listed again. I kinda lingered on it because I remember phil (@/senditothemoonn) had watched it like a month or two before and she had started talking abt it in our group chat and posting quotes abt it and stuff, and it had been awhile since I'd seen it so I was like hey! What the hell! Lets give it a watch, its time I watch it again anyways.

And like. Something happened to the world for me after that viewing. It was like it had blown apart, and when it came back together it was completelty rearranged for me.

I'm not entirely sure why that time around the movie has such a deep, DEEP impact on me when I had seen it before, and had been very touched by it back then. I think its partly that a. I never used to watch movies with subtitles, and so before I realized that I probably have issues with the way my mind processes sound, a lot of movie dialogue just kinda. Didn't get internalized by me for some reason? Even now when I rewatch old faves that I haven't seen with subtitles, I'm always astounded by what the hell theyre saying because I had never rly picked up on it before, lol.

And like...I mean if you've seen the movie then you already know this, but their accents and dialect are kinda hard to get through. ESPECIALLY when it comes to Heath as Ennis. Which isn't in any way a jab at him, I think every part of his performance is super thoughtful and well-crafted and every acting choice he makes serves the character in only positive ways. But when you already have issues processing audio, and when you have a character who's jaw is perpetually cleched so tight that the words literally have to "fight" their way out of his mouth, its just like. Not the best combination lol.

And so this time around when I saw the movie, I saw it with subtitles and it opened up a new dimension of the film to me. Honest to God, the first time I watched the movie, I had no idea that the shirts at the end were so signifigant because Jack had stolen Ennis'. I guess the first time I saw it, I didn't catch the part where Ennis talks about having left his damn shirt up there, and Jack just kinda shrugs it off and changes the subject. When I saw that moment this time, it didn't really strike me as anything important until the movie got to the end and you realize that Jack had kept the shirts all those long 20 years and UGH. I literally remember screaming with tears in my eyes, thats what happened to the shirt! There they are! And then when I saw that Ennis had put his shirt over Jack's to hang together on his closet door for the rest of his life? Dead. Dead, I was literally stabbed in the heart 50 million times and killed dead. I'd never made those connections before and now that I had I like. got it, yanno? I got why this was an oscar winner, and why people were sk devastated by its best picture loss. Not that I hadn't before, but it just hit so much harder.

So yeah, the subtitles probably had a lot to do w why its stayed lingering in my mind for a long while, but I also think its because in a few ways it kind of spoke to me and made me think about my health issues and the self-imposed quarantine that I'd put myself through for the better part of a year at that point.

To me, the whole story is about regret, about not taking the chances we have while we have them and having to learn to live with knowledge of the things we didn't let ourselves do and the memories we didn't let ourselves make.

I hadn't seen a lot of my family for awhile at that point because I just didn't want to be out of my house, and its only been recently that I realized how much life I've missed out on living for a good year and a half-ish or so. And like yeah, I have a reason, my health issues and super aggressive anxiety have kinda put me through the ringer. But I dunno like. I kind of empathized and related to Ennis' character in a really odd way, because he also let his fear control what he did and especially what he did not do, and for that, he ended up living a half-life and missed his chance of getting to spend his time with the person he loved the most.

For me, the fear of regret is one of my biggest motivators in doing literally anything. I've realized I don't want to end up like Ennis, isolating myself from my loved ones and missing out on the chance for love and life because of some issues I have. And I mean its not like they're not real issues. Just like the fears that motivated Ennis' actions, theyre very real concerns. But since seeing the movie, I've been a lot more proactive about seeing doctors and trying to get this shit fixed up, because I don't want to end up wasting my life away. I wanna find my Jack, and I wanna be happy, and I wanna live.

Anyways. Happy 17th birthday to my favorite movie in the world <3

[uncertain3teeth]

i jus woke up from a whole ass nightmare it was badddd omg i almost wanted to cry it was abt someone breaking into my house and also breaking into my window and also i got almost arrested and also people were chasing me and someone had a seizure and there was also some exorcism going on as well and then i like killed this person by drowning them inside of a small mason jar of expired chicken noodle soup idk now that makes sense but its a dream so jdhfhdjd and then people outside kept blasting music and then the cops came for them and then fast forward to wen wen the mother of the person i killed called mom to talk to meet up and then my mom was giving misinformation to the mother abt her and i lik saying and i quote how she said it in the dream "we are from TEXAS" [ im lik wtf spongebob ] but then we had to put a disguise on so she put on the plague doctor costume and then i remember also in the dream to in order to get out the window bc ppl were chasing me i had to commit a sin which i then said "oh thats easy" and fast forward wen i woke up i then went back to sleep and had ANOTHER nightmare which i was in a mall and ppl including my toxic cousin tried to find and look for me but lik also my friends were there so ppl were following them as well and it was soooo fukkin scary bc in real life i have a major paranoia issue abt either people trying to kill me or me thinking people are plotting against me and it was a lucid dream so it felt so fucking real and also the ppl looking for me were trying to convice me to do something and in order for me to disguise myself i had to put a blanket over my head and twirl lik wtf and i minecraft villager that bounces and twirls on top of a bed but anyways i remember they finded out my disguise and it didnt work so they kept coming after me and i remember these twisty stairts that goes up and thats all i remember from that dream now what i do remember i from the first dream i had i also remember that i was fucking this guy in the bushes i think that was after the part where i was trying to do sins to get out the window but i was already out the window so idek its drean so eh but i also remember that as soon as i fucked this guy in the bushes i got caught by the people trying to find me and then they started to chase me and then there was this big crowd of people that looked like my friends but wasnt and there was also joe biden for some butt fuck reason and then there was cops or guards or some ppl and then they captured me OH WAIT BEFORE THEY CHASED AND CAPTURNED ME I WENT UP TO THE YOUTUBER BENOFTHWEEK LMAOKOA and i told him that i was broke and i needed help bc someone was chasing me and then he saw the ppl that was originally chasing me coming closer and THEEEN thats wen all of a sudden joe biden and ppl that looked lik my friends but wasnt lik robots and then they made me and my other ppl stand next to eachother in a line and then joe biden was doing a speech and he stumbled on his words it was pretty funny bc jschlatt but anyways out of fucking nowhere mike ehrmantraut from breaking fucking bad was one of the guards and he helped me get pass the guards to disguise myself as one of them and then i also ended up killing this one guard by doing that harley quinn suicide squad shit where i got on his shoulders and did some shit i forgot what that shit was but i did some shit and then killed a man but them after that my friends that were robots disappeared aside from some to which i asked "what is something only you wld know abt me" and this one guy pulled out a drawing i made him and said "i was going to give this back to you yesterday bc i cant keep this bc my sister was getting to it" which idk howwww tf that makes sense its lik "oh hey i have a dog so can you put this food on the top of there so they dont get to it" but then the dream started to end and i woke up and sirens were outside LMAOOO