#i could fix like 15 more things but im sick of looking at this

[whump-captain]

one day ill sit down and learn to draw backgrounds

[Image ID in alt text]

[lilacstro]

astro observations part 8

lmao not me posting aggressively, but I am starting uni soon and possibly as a STEM major so i might have no time all with balancing university and pursuing astrology professionally and i really like tumblr lol so im trying to atleast post it until pt 10

anyways lets gooooooooooo (i love totoro btw)

1.People having Venus in 8th or 12th or ruler of 2nd house in 8th/12th can actually have glasses or some kind of issues with eyes in general

2.Chiron in 9th could mean you have joint/bone problems

3. Have you seen the comments that used to say "me imagining to play this song in front of my crush" or "us imagining to dance like that in front of the whole school", i feel the maximum people who would relate to must have their moon in leo, or big 6 lmao

4. People with mars in 11th house may really get defensive and protective of their friends, in some cases however, they can even get competitive with them

5. People with Uranus in 3rd house may actually have hard childhoods or maybe inconsistent ones, maybe you were always moving, maybe your parent/s were sick in some sorts, maybe something else

6.People with a DC in Pisces would always look innocent lmao, like they would have some kind of thing about them that people would deem them as innocent regardless

8. People with Saturn in 11th house may have a hard time making friends or they may set too many rules on their friendships and end it. It may take a very long time for them to be able to find friends but when they do, it lasts. Also, these people arent the best to comfort/keep up with you but will always have your back and help/guide you in need and no deceit

9. Having MC in Taurus/Capricorn can mean your hardwork is usually recognized and seen, people may actually feel you are super hardworking regardless of anything tbh

10. The sign your 6th house is in can actually determine your relationship with routine. People with fixed signs, like fixed routines and things, mutable ones can't keep up with routines and go with the flow and feels while, ones with cardinal signs like adding new things to their routines as they please

11.People with either 3/11th house in mercurial signs or people having aquarius stelliums are usually very good with computers and internet stuff

12.Both my mom and sister have mars conjunct mercury and it more than often seems they are loud/aggressive while talking even when they are saying the simplest things and may actually be called out for that

13. People with MC in libra, might like to dress/appeal in old money aesthetic, and it could very much be people assume them to be rich somehow, when they absolutely aren't. They have some kind of socialite appeal to them.

14. My sister has mercury in sag, and people are often surprised when she speaks our mother tongue, most of them assume that she somehow might not speak that language at all, or just speaks english, Infact, she knows both of them well.

15. Cancer Sun women, usually are very polite mothers, like gentle motherly love kind of. On the contrary, most Leo women I know give their children tough love, but they usually let their kids free and fly and arent super restrictive or vindictive out of line as such.

support me on ko-fi :)

paid readings are open. :)

i love you xoxo

[seonghwa-potatos]

The bully’s a sub?

- soobin gif -

summary: What happens after a fight with your bully ends up leading you to have dinner with his parent.Your left alone with Soobin to get your guys’s act together , expecting to end up fighting once more you find something quite odd in his room, changing your opinion on him.

pairings: bully!sub!soobin x rough!dom!reader

warnings: anal play, creampie

<loading…>

Walking into class you prepared yourself for whatever was going to happen.Sitting down in your seat you begin to read a book, but then none other than Soobin takes it.”Y/N so what ya reading”he says holding it and laughing.”well it's not important” he says tossing it on the floor and putting his foot onto it.You get up “Soobin What the fuck is wrong with you”You ay feeling defeated.”Every damn day I have to deal with your bullshit and Im fucking tired of it.” you say clenching your fist. “So what?” he chuckles looking at his friends. You take the chance swinging your fist at him but you miss.He then grabs your arm “If your gonna try to fight me, number one tip is to swing straight…even my little brother knows that.” he smiles sarcastically

The only emotion you could feel was anger, as he tosses your arm down you grab your book on the floor.Tossing it at him as hard as you can at the back of his head.The class went silent.You take a step back, he turns running towards you, you never seen him this angry.He lunges at you and you both fall onto one another, but you flipped yourself on top, making sure you pinned his arms down with your thighs.”IM TIRED OF YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT”you say tears running down your face and he just looks up at you stopping his fighting to get you off of him.”pouring water onto me was so damn funny to you guys wasnt it” opening your eyes he looks at you as if he feels sorry, but you could care less.”Remeber I was gone for a week from school, It was because your bitch ass got me sick”you say hitting his chest.However you didnt realize that your pin on him, you were losing it. He flips you over “Stop being a bitch, crying over this, really?Are you really crying over something as little as this?” he says laughing.He looked crazy laughing like this was the funniest thing to him ever.

“WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING, GET UP… NOW” the Teacher says storming in.Soobin gets off of you and you swing your fist, punch him in the face as hard as you can.He just shoves you away from him.Wiping the blood off his lip.”OFFICE NOW” the teacher yells walking you both down.

Sitting in the office you both say nothing waiting for your parents to come get you.

30 mins later.

“Mom, you know I've told you for months about how he kept messing with me.” you say

“Y/N fighting won't solve any problems, I raised you better than this…but thats why were gonna fix this today” she says you questionly raise your eyebrows “Today?, How” you say

“We're having dinner with his family later,” she says, hopping into the car.

“Dinner?” you say concerningly.”No , mom he’s literally the devil's child…Dinner? You can't be serious” you say, looking at her as if she's crazy.

“Well you're gonna get dressed, we have to leave by 4:30”she says.Arriving home, You just wish you could lay in your bed and do nothing for the rest of the day.Eventually you went to sleep hoping your mom would just cancel.

“Wake up Y/N and get dressed.” she says as you're half awake and half asleep.”Huh?”

You say then you remember you have to have dinner with Soobin.”Mom please I really don't wanna go.''You say doing those bubbly crying eyes at her.”No you're going Y/N be dressed in 10 mins were leaving then”, she says closing the door.

Dragging yourself out of your room you plead with your mom one final time, but she says this is for the best as you both head out the door.

15 mins later you guys arrive at his house.Walking in you see Soobin with his bruised lip and laugh under your breath.He glares at you knowing he heard you. Once the table is set up you sit across from one another as well as the parents.As you guys eat Soobin’s dad says “We want you guys to stop this childish act,So me and Mrs Lyn (Your mom)will be leaving while you guys solve your guy’s problems” he says as if this was the solution. “Dad, are you really gonna leave me with her?”he says like a whining.you roll your eyes wanting to leave the room in an instant.”You guys are gonna act like your age,If come back and everythings a mess with you two, you won't have your phone,xbox,or television for a month.”(18) his dad says expressing how he wasn't lying.”Same goes for you Y/N “ your mom says as they both hid to the door.” Yall stay on your best behavior while we're gone.” your mom says closing the door behind them.

“Don't touch any of my shit, and stay out of my room” he says going to the bathroom.You wanted to put him in his place so you go upstairs and find his room,You just lay on his bed admiring his room.”He really thinks ima listen to him now” you chuckle to yourself getting up you look around and see his walk in closet.”Hmm he got some nice clothes i'll admit that.” you say looking around and then you see this purple looking thing hiding behind shoes.You grab it and it's a dildo.You hold in in shock.He likes to be fucked in the ass. Ima definitely use this against him you were thinking.You lay on the bed wondering how he got this big ass dildo up his ass.”I told you not to go in my room” he says yelling opening his door.His face goes pale and his face drops.”W-what are you doing touching my stuff”He says as if he’s embarrassed.He runs after you trying to grab it, but you wore heels your about his height so you stand up and he tries jumping and reaching but to no surprise he can't. “Please just give it to me.” he says with bright red cheeks and ears looking down. “Now why would I do that?” you laugh at him in his face.You put your finger onto his chest pushing him down onto the bed. “Y/N, i'm sorry for bullying you, I- I never meant to take it that far” he says you can tell he’s embarrassed but so what.”Strip” you say smiling, doing that sarcastic smile he does.”S-strip” he says panicking.”Why would I do that” he says looking everywhere but your eyes.”Well, you wouldn't want anyone to find out would you?” you say finally knowing you have something to black mail him with.He begins to strip only to his underwear he covers himself in his underwear.You sit in a chair facing him “That too”you say pointing. “Do you not understand the meaning of stripping?” you say almost getting out of your chair.He then removes his underwear. “Let me see,” you say teasingly, laughing.”S-see what” he says flustered more than ever. You move the chair forward, moving his hands out of the way.”This” you say as you laugh a little.”Wow it is pretty big” you say using the whipping stick out of your bag holding it up as if you were observing it. “Now can I get dressed?” he says, stepping back and covering himself once more.You look at him crossing your legs “I'm not done” you say looking him in his eyes.”What do you want from me?” he says with a bit of sass in his tone.

“Don't get sassy with me…Now you're gonna take this dildo and shove it up your ass in front of me” you say throwing the dildo at him.

“R-really are you serious” he says worrisomely.

“Do you want your friends to know what you do on your own time?”you say seriously without laughing.

He grabs puts a finger in his ass and tries preparing himself, but he cant reach so far it seems like. “C-can I grab m-my lube out of the closet.” he says

“Where is it” you say looking at how flustered he is.

“Top shelf to the side of the box right when you walk in.” he says looking away.

Grabbing the lube you come out and put some onto your finger.

“Y-you don't have t-too do it” he says talking fastly

“Shutup” you say, pushing him down and making his back arch.

You put one finger in and he groans trying to hold himself from moaning. “Let those sounds out for me” you say into his ear while putting two fingers in.

He lets out a soft moan he tried to keep from coming out.”So what other toys do you have in there” you say wondering how kinky this motherfucker is.He doesn't say anything except his muffled moans into the bed.You grip his hair moving his head up. “Answer me Soobin?”

You say sternly.He moans each word out saying ” C-cuffs, ot-ther dildos, an edging t-toy”he says.”Where are those toys?” you say putting 3 fingers in. His moans get louder “I-im not telling y-you”he says I then shove my fingers in and out at a paste. Leaning over him I take my shirt off, pressing my boobs onto his back.leaning towards his ears.You whisper “you really think you're gonna make demands” you chuckle.”You don't have options” you say grabbing his dildo and waving it in his face.Moving it to the back of him you put it in him and his moans come out full.You hear them as clear as day.”Im glad your my bitch now” you say pushing it further in as his back arches farther.”Y/N t-the toys are in t-that box” he says.He looks as if he can't hold no more. “You cum when I say you can come”You say looking into his eyes getting up from the bed and grabbing the material.You then place the cuffs on him moving his arms to be behind him.You then begin to take your pants off and underwear off slowly looking at him smirking.His dick starts to twitch.”I- I can't hold n-no more Y/N” he says moaning out.”Your gonna hold because I said so” you say sitting him up looking into his eyes.You put yourself on top of him pressing your folds along his cock.You feel his twitch bit by bit and you tease him more and more rubbing down his chest.”you want it” she says “Y-yes I want it, please”He says whines for it.You then pull yourself up and positioning yourself facing him going down onto his cock.He groans moaning your name, his moans begin to sound like pants.You then grab his head pushing the sweat off his hair.His adams apple bulges out as his head cocks backwards as his moans wont stop.”Soobin your such a naughty boy” you say pushing him onto the bed and going up and down faster.He lets out a moan as if he cant take it anymore “cum in me “ you say and you feel his cum ejaculate all inside you eventually making you both sticky as you keep going.you push your boobs into his face and suffocating him with the smell of you as well. “ You're such a good boy Soobin, now if you could act like this from now on we won't have any problems will we?” you say whispering into his ear.”No, ma’am” he says heavily out of breath.

[ashturnedtomist]

Keep it Covert: Ch.0

Prologue

@morgansplace came up with the title. everyone say thank you.

Summary: in which, things are not kept covert.

Next Chapter

TW: panic, cursing, force, Geordi starts to have a panic attack but you don’t really see anything

Read it on Ao3 too :)

Based off of this post

Morgan sighed, knitting his brows together.

Standing before him was the only other Seer Obscura that he knew existed, and they were exhausted.

“Can we just…take a break? Please?” They were working on honing their abilities and they had worn out their core.

“That’s fine, just sit down,” he gestured to the couch. He slumped down beside them, undoing his tie and turning on the TV. He flipped to a random news channel.

He froze.

‘-American government has already started making plans and precautions against this unknown threat. The leaked documents call them, ‘empowered.’

Morgan leaned forward, his heart pounding.

“Morgan?” He glanced at his trainee. “What-what does that mean?”

He shakes his head, his eyes trained on the screen. “I-I don’t know.”

‘We know little about these people. Where did they come from? How long have they been living among us? And, are they a danger?’

———

“Shit,” James muttered. “Shit, shit, shit.”

His phone had been ringing off and on for the past half hour.

“Your stress levels are elevated.” Asset sat to the side, eyeing their superior.

“I wouldn’t have guessed,” he muttered bitterly. They hummed in acknowledgment. “What has happened?”

James sighed, bracing his hands on his desk. “The Department was exposed.”

Asset tilted their head to the side. “What does that mean?” James looked up at them. “It means-” his phone rings again. “That the unempowereds know we exist.”

Ring.

“Which means our entire project could be shut down.”

Ring.

“Which means you could be shut down.”

Ring.

They stare at him blankly before looking away. “I see.”

Ring.

“God damn it!” He flung his phone across the room, a shattering sound echoing across the empty walls.

Asset looked around for a moment before facing him.

“Take my memory card.”

He looked up at them again. “What?”

“Take my memory card.” They repeat. “Or at least make a copy. That way, if they shut me down, you will at least have a way to put my memories somewhere else. Maybe you could make me again. Somehow.”

A glimmer of their old personality shone in their eyes. James swallowed thickly. “Okay…okay. We can-we can do that.”

———

Geordi was exhausted. He’d had a long day.

First, his internet went out, and so did his cable. So he had to get that fixed.

Then he phone broke, so he had to get that done too.

And when he finally turned his phone on when he got home, he was bombarded with messages and calls.

15 unread messages from Guy

3 missed calls from Guy

5 unread messages from “Honey”

2 missed calls from “Honey”

1 missed call from Cutie

1 unopened voicemail from Cutie

His stomach dropped. What happened?

Cutie hadn’t contacted him in weeks, let alone Guy’s partner. They were friends, sure, but not that good of friends.

Geordi swallowed thickly as he opened his messages

Guy

dude

where are you

have you read the news

do it asap

wait

maybe dont

well it might be better if you do

honey says you should

but idk

just do it

please

and dont panic

unless you heard something from them

then maybe you can panic

im definitely panicking

“Honey”

Read the news. Now.

I don’t care what you’re doing.

This is more important.

Ignore Guy. He’s in a bad headspace right now.

Check the news.

Geordi scrambled to open his news app. His eyes scanned the screen until he found what they could be talking about.

Friends or Foes? Who are these ‘empowereds?’

Geordi almost dropped his phone. He quickly scanned through the article, his heart rate picking up with every word he read. He felt like he was going to be sick.

He quickly checked his voicemail.

‘U-um, hey Geordi, I know I haven’t checked in in awhile but-‘

Something cuts them off. They sound like they’re crying.

‘S-sorry about that. Um, anyway, I just wanted to get this message out to you in case you don’t hear from me for awhile. I’m sure you’ve seen the news.’

Geordi bit his lip. So that’s what this was about.

‘I lost my job! Well, I think I did. Things are kind of a mess over here-’

Their voice cuts out.

‘-don’t know what’s gonna happen now. I don’t know what’s going to happen to me. I just- I-I love you, okay?”

Their voice grows more tearful.

‘I love you and I’m sorry I couldn’t have been a better partner to you. I’ve been trying so hard to get better. So hard. I don’t know when you’ll see me or hear from me next, so…’

They sniffle

‘I love you. Goodbye, Geordi.’

His phone clatters to the floor. He slides down the wall as his breathing grows heavy.

“No. No, no, no, no…”

———

Angel hums to themself as they mess around on their switch, Minecraft lighting up their screen. They had just finished building a house for themself and their dog when their phone went off. It was David.

“Hey, Davey, what’s-”

“I’m coming home. Don’t check the news. Just-just wait for me.”

“What? David, what’s-”

“Just wait.”

Beeping sounded in their ear, signaling that he had hung up.

Angel couldn’t ignore the sinking feeling in their stomach

———

Aaron pressed a heated kiss to his partner’s lips. “I’ll teach you to talk back, Smartass.” They giggled against his mouth, moving to unbutton his shirt when his phone went off. They whined as he pulled away. He chucked. “Hold on, it’s Elliott.”

He pressed the phone to his ear. “Hello?”

Flustered shouting could be heard from the other line.

“Woah, woah, woah, Elliott. What’s going on?”

As his brother chattered on from the other line, Aaron grew pale.

He hung up the phone.

“Aaron? What’s wrong?” Smartass clambered onto his lap. “What happened?”

He took their hands into his. He was shaking.

“The human government knows about empowereds.”

——-

It was supposed to be a good day. An amazing day. They were gonna finish work, pick up dinner, and cuddle Aggro until Milo got home so they could eat and watch a movie.

It was great.

But now, they were hiding under their desk while sirens wailed above them, and black military boots stomped by.

It all happened so fast.

One moment, they were talking to their coworker about their latest therapy session, and how they were going to reach out to their boyfriend again, and the next, the emergency sirens were going off and government troops stormed the halls.

They huddled under the protective covering of their desk, trying not to make too much noise.

Their phone started vibrating. They scrambled to silence it.

‘God damn it, Milo.’

A gloved hand reached under the desk and pulled them out.

“What a sweet little thing you are.”

Sweetheart yanks their arm away. “Get the hell off me.”

The man in front of them scoffs and says, “Don’t make this harder than it has to be. A lot of your colleagues have slipped away, but we have a few in holding.”

“Slipped away, huh?” Sweetheart says. “Well,” They look him up and down. “I guess they didn’t tell you how stealthy I can be.”

“What do you-” The man cuts himself off as Sweetheart disappears from his sight.

———

“Come on, Damien. I promise it doesn’t taste that bad.” Freelancer begged. Damien looked at the meal in front of him that Gavin had made. Everyone around him insisted that he try it.

“Yeah, it’s not that bad, Dames.”

“R-really, it’s good. Gavin outdid himself.”

The incubus in question leaned in close to the fire elemental.

“Please? For me? Don’t make me beg, Damien.”

Damien’s cheeks flushed a fiery red. “Fine. If it’ll get you out of my face.” Just as he went to go take a bite, Gavin’s phone rang.

“Ah…just a moment.” Gavin rose from his seat. “Don’t eat any just yet, I want to see the delectable look on your face when you try it!” He called before he disappeared out the door.

Freelancer furrowed their brows. What was that about?

They filled the time that Gavin was gone with casual conversation and some banter here and there. After about 15 minutes, Gavin came back inside.

He came back into the room, looking pale.

“Gavin?” Freelancer stood up. “What’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Turn on the news.” Everyone looked at each other. “Now.”

Notes: Geordi and Guy are friends

Honey and Cutie are friends

Honey is also empowered bc I said so 😍

Also: this will be centered around an idea I came up with, so stay tuned.

[bubsub69]

Entry 35

6/12/2023 00:15 Why the hell did i think it would be different. why would we go back to talking regularly after she ghosts me for almost 2 weeks i wish i could just move on, but i neither want to nor can find someone else, i browsed through fetlife and stuff and tried messaging some poeple yesterday but no luck there either… one of the scammers from telegram posted a story about needing a 'favor' and theyll dominate for free… the favor is most likely asking to borrow an account for posting on reddit because of karma requirements because shes posted another story asking that… asking about the favor seems really tempting for some reason, i dont know why im interested in someone that charges and is dishonest, probably because of despair, you know i dont even know why im being anonymous about her its @goddessclaire8 if someone shares this telegram accoung a) she charges and b) is dishonest. you know what fuck it im just gonna ask her to see if thats what she wants.

tomorrow im gonna have test, which means i should stop writing and maybe go over some stuff, but who has the mental capacity for that amirite… im really getting sick of some stuff at college, too many teacher just expecting you to know not explained stuff, but everyone somehow already knows it, maybe theyre not lazy fucks and actually look up relevant stuff and you know learn outside the classroom which i dont really do.

ive been talking to some people online but i still feel really lonely, i dont know if i just want deeper connection or just physical touch, i dont know wtf i want anymore…

dad kind of demanded i go to a therapist but i refused… honestly i dont even know why i did it, maybe a bit of a mix between thinking they wont be useful and they'll share stuff with my parents which means i wont be able to completely open up, tbh i dont want to completely open up to them either, not gonna share that im desperate sub and that im touch starved and stuff, i guess i could keep it to myself and its not like id impact the effectiveness of therapy but who cares stubborn brain wont let me get help, all i need is touch and gf and im fixed, classic solution.

also the discord thing didnt really work out, havent talked there, cant do it. also kinda sucks that most people dont really talk back, its hard to be the one that always starts talking, and ive only kept contact with 2-3 people, some didnt even reply to my heys anymore so i guess i was just too boring as usual. damn just remembered theres someone that would always start and we havent talked in a bit should text him tomorrow. And i guess i should just go to sleep, not being eepy is proabbly gonna do more good than looking at some stuff in a hurry.

maybe J will text me on sunday again… that seems to be the day shes usually free… maybe ill get that video call… i also had to wait a fair bit to talk with D so… i just have to be patient… again… like ive been… for a month………. itll be worth it in the end………………………… i hope

[angeldiaries777]

extreme trigger warning for everything. please don't read if you know it could potentially upset you. !! also very personal. so if you don't want to know then also u might want to skip this post. i understand if i lose followers because of this rant but ive always shared my struggles on here so i thought i might share what ive been through to vent and release my own anxiety and maybe help someone else.again read at your own discretion and ofc this isn't even a fraction of everything just a very very very very tiny snippet. this is also a draft from two days ago.

recovering from my ed slowly but those thoughts never go away. i practically quit school for ed blogs and twitter. chasing results is a never ending journey. if you get bad enough they will never end until you die. i'm not talking like skipped lunch once. no i legit had to recover myself just to stay alive while dealing with a million other mental illnesses and life issues. everything alone. it used to make me so beyond sad for myself i was stuck in a loop of self pity and now i don't feel anything anymoreso i am trying to use my numbness for good. know that if you feel not alone per say. but like if you don't fix your issues yourself or help yourself out of actual living hell that it will only continue to get worse. but also know that whatever it is you have to feel it till you get so bored of your own shit. im always annoyed and upset with people cuz i am sensetivie and very mentally ill but we know u cannot control a single thing outside of yourself. let yourself feel the affects. i myself had to literally lose parts of my vision to want to recover from everything and had to see what 3 years of pure isolation and self destruction/abuse did to my face and body and it was terrifying. 15 years of just pure self hatred and dealing with crippling anxiety/depression and inferiorty complex took such a toll on me. i feel physically sick everyday. i would not only not take care of myself i would harm myself mentally, emotionally, physically even repress and shame myself sexually. i was a mess. im at a point where i don't remember much of it in detail despite it being a few months again. with my last attempt being barely a month ago. you have to see it through. human survival instinct will try to keep you alive more than anything. ive always known ive had imense potential cuz its been drilled into my brain since i was a child so my ego was keeping me alive. also for the fact that at my lowest low i had also stopped believeing in god and i didnt know what would happen after death. death scared me. of course it didnt scare me enough to not try. one night i was laying on my living room i think this was a little bit before december of 2022 it was night time and i had turned the lights off i was home by myself and i just lined up every tool i had used for cvtting/sh in general and then some kitchen knifes and i fucked up my arm, thighs everywhere. i was crying so hard during it i could feel it in my head and heart and at that point i had already been through a lot. i just everything in me was telling me that life will never be worth it and neither will people. before i could shove a knife in my throat my mom entered the house and took all the knifes and razor blades etc away from me.

she just kind of looked at me like she knew i would do this but i didnt care. all the intensitity i felt. i knew it was too much. i knew i was my own worst enemy. i knew i was taking things too personal and i knew that the worlds problems were not mine yet still i had nothing to live for. once you get past a certain point. the pain just becomes permentant everything in the world becomes dim and all you have is yourself...

i will type more later but i just needed to vent.

[sammygender]

the cynical nature of life has me like. praying and begging my younger siblings dont become me because now they’re the same age as i was when i tried to kill myself theyre only a few months away and theyre so young and so amazing but i dont know how to get through to them just like i never could get through to me. trying to catapult myself back to being 13 and really really exhausted even though i hadnt been through anything yet and wanting life over because it hadnt yet begun. trying to look at who i once was without judgement and see what i needed in case its what they need now.

but i dont know how to stop someone becoming the only thing i’ve ever known how to be. i don’t know how to fix someone, maybe only how to stop them from getting any worse. why do 13 year olds get so sad? i didn’t get it then, why i was so miserable all the time and why i could stand it so little, and i don’t get it now. is it just that they haven’t experienced enough yet? cant weather it enough yet? but some of the things i’ve been through have made me weaker, not stronger. some of the things have made me want to die much more than i ever felt when i was 12, 13, 14.

so why is it that i hit 15 and stopped feeling miserable? why is it that i think 2022 has been the worst year of my life but at 16 i no longer can consider suicide in any real possibility? im so thankful but i don’t get it. it didn’t get better, not really; or it did, for a while, but it got worse. but i don’t want to die anymore. i suppose sometimes suicidality is not very connected to real life.

i used to believe in depression as a sickness of the brain; now, i think that’s discouraging and pseudoscientific. i don’t know. but what other explanation is there? why do 13 year olds get so sad? i hated myself so much when i was a kid. why?? what is it??? what thread does my 13 year old self share with my sister that makes us share this trait??? i dont know. it scares me sometimes

[jaeqtstuff]

― 𝑔𝒽𝑜𝓈𝓉 𝑜𝒻 𝓎𝑜𝓊

words count: 1.7k

playlist: ghost by justin bieber (recommend to listen to it while reading, just to get the feels because im suck at angst lol)

pls note that english is not my first language. but i had fun writing this so i hope you too! xx

[10:15pm] after escaping the most boring blind date that your friend set you up with, you came across the usual late night bar that you used to go during your days with beomgyu. yeah, your famous ex among your peers.

everybody knows how in love, how insanely perfect the two of you were for a love story but that was during high school. college was a whole different story. it suddenly becomes so toxic that it drained both of you. waking up every morning was a burden to the point you can't even breath in each other presence. you didn't know what went wrong, neither did he but as years passed, it was all because of childish reason. the most hurtful thing about this one is, you knew it could be saved but you didn't do anything. and neither did he.

"whiskey on the rocks." you choose to sit far from others, wanting more privacy. the bartender seems to recognise you by the way his mouth formed a big smile as if he was welcoming a friend. you smiled back, nonetheless.

let's just call it off. it's better this way. i mean can you do this everyday? doesn't this itch you?

you shut you eyes close as you slowly savouring every drops of it. why does it taste bitter? it shouldn't taste like this. i should've just go home.

fucking sick of it. fucking sick of everything and just piss off. don't you get tired of me? honestly i am. so get lost from my fucking sight.

the more you sip, the bitter it got. you didn't enjoy it. maybe that's the reason why some people avoid old places but you were there, drinking alone in the most romantic set up you could ever imagine for a late night bar, the low dimmed lights and slow soul music playing in the background and not to mention all the couple around you. you hate it so much but you can't deny the obvious fact that you missed it. you miss how this place used to caress you with memories you still keep in the deepest part of your heart.

"do people still come over to sing?" you casually asked the bartender as he slips your second drink. you remember how beomgyu used to say that he will sing at the small stage and dedicate a song for you infront of everyone in the bar but he never did.

"well yes. in fact, we're preparing for one." he replied, with much excitement at you. you look passed your shoulders, eyes fixed to the small stage at the corner. they were getting ready with the mic and there was single stool with a guitar at the side.

"he's a good singer." the bartender commented as he was wiping all the utensils he had used just now with a clean cloth. "really?" you look away from the stage and bring your glass close to the mouth. without wasting much, you gulped down the rest of the drink in one go before taking out your purse to pay. you could hear the soft melody of guitar playing at the back but you were more focus with the text displayed on your home screen. "it's weekend. leave me the fuck alone." you hissed under your breath.

Youngblood thinks there's always tomorrow

I miss your touch on nights when I'm hollow

I know you crossed a bridge that I can't follow

Since the love that you left is all that I get

I want you to know that if I can't be close to you

I settle for the ghost of you

I miss you more than life

you shut the phone away and bring the card out to pay. you waited for the bartender to notice you but you were now interested with the song. your head unknowingly move with the beat, fingers tapping slowly on your bare legs. the lights on the stage were too dimmed and you couldn't see well who was the one singing but his voice was causing a whole war flashback in your head.

And if you can't be next to me

Your memory is ecstasy

I miss you more than life

I miss you more than life

you never knew a song could break you so much, not when you least expected it but the one singing was also not helping the situation any better. he was singing his heart out, as if he was the one writing the lyrics from some kind of painful experience he ever had in his life. anyone in the bar could say the same thing.

Youngblood thinks there's always tomorrow

I need more time but time can't be borrowed

I'd leave it all behind if I could follow

Since the love that you left is all that I get

I want you to know that if I can't be close to you

the more you listen, the more your heart ached. all these years, you thought you moved on from him. you can finally accept the fact that you can live without him by your side. in those years, it's a lie if you say you never thought of him during those drunken nights with your friends. but tonight was brutal. you could relate to the lyrics so much that you had trouble holding yourself back from any breakdown that would cost you every time you said you were good without him.

I'll settle for the ghost of you

I miss you more than life, yeah

you were never good.

And if you can't be next to me

Your memory is ecstasy (oh)

I miss you more than life

I miss you more than life

you were never calm after both of you called it off. you forced yourself to drink every night so that you can sleep without thinking of him but the terrible headaches every morning was torture. the moment you get up, he was all over in your head. you remember how you wanted to run back to him every night, tell him to forget all the bad pieces and just start new but by looking at the sight of it, it would make you throw up. you definitely knew it will make things worse.

you looked at the stage, still trying to see who was the one singing. heart still hurting but deep down, you were expecting something out of wicked love story. the tears building up in your eyes were not helping as your visions got blurry from the lyrics. blinking the tears away, you were nervous to look back to the stage again.

So if I can't get close to you

I'll settle for the ghost of you

But I miss you more than life

And if you can't be next to me

Your memory is ecstasy

you breathed in deeply, struggling to gain your composure. nonetheless, the shaky eyes went back to the stage where suddenly, the lights around the stage were slowly looking brighter. you could clearly see how he was playing the guitar effortlessly with his eyes closed. the expression on his face was tormentingly raw or maybe it was just your eyes telling the lies to the mind, telling you that he was also in much pain just like you were. one thing for sure, you eyes couldn't lie the one infront of you.

I miss you more than life

I miss you more than life

how can you forget his voice? you gasped for air, breathed in every sharp air you could get because you knew, the night will only get worse, will only wreck you even more than it did before. you could never get better from it.

the people around you start clapping, telling you that he was done singing on the stage. you could hear the soft giggle from the mic before the countless thank you from him. you carefully eyed him at the stage before taking out the cash from your purse, putting the card back inside. you couldn't be bothered about the points because the last thing you want was beomgyu seeing you in this helpless state. smudge eyeliner and mascara because of the tears and also the short lacy black dress you were wearing. it was too obvious.

so you left without looking back. and oh boy, the moment the cold air hit your face, you couldn't hold back the tears. no, you were weeping, sobbing, almost throwing up on the side road. walking to home will be hard but you were quick to stop a cab.

thank god the tears stop the moment you were in the cab. the warm seat kinda cool you down a bit but your heart was eager. you didn't stop there and pulled out the phone from your back. eventhough you didn't contact each other, you knew where to find him and in those nights like this, you always check on him. last time you did was two years ago and maybe it should just stay unchecked.

the moment it hits you, there i knew i am still holding on to the past just like how i always did. and perhaps it's because you are always there. not leaving me nor forget about me. i will just settle like this, holding on to that life i miss most. ― 15 minutes ago

wish you can stay longer so that this night would not be lonely again but it's not what i thought it is. i'm sorry. ― 2 minutes ago

you lost at the last words and now fighting your own mind, telling the cab to turn around but you couldn't get the words out from your mouth. you knew beomgyu saw you, he probably saw you in that bar. sitting alone at the furthest table from the rest. he probably saw how you were struggling in your seat, looking so pathetic in that dress.

he was right. beomgyu was right.

this night will only get lonelier. if only you stayed, maybe things could change but you knew, it can only work if both of you wanted it. he had his chance but he didn't use it. in between those tears, you laugh it off, thinking how stupid could you be with just simple words like 'i'm sorry', you were ready to throw yourself again to the deepest pit of hell with him.

choi beomgyu,

the only man who wreck you this much. the only man who can prove to you that there will be no other lover like him.

"choi beomgyu."

[gignikinszz]

anakin is on the train and this dipshit infront of him has been humming christmas songs everyday on his morning work commute for the past week and it’s the middle of fucking august so he’s ready to confront this motherfucker for his crimes against humanity and his eardrums then boom obi wan meet cute

anon. im obsessed 💍💍💍💍 ficlet under the cut xx

i took a few liberties with this, but i hope u still like it :)) modern au, annoyances to lovers but only from anakin's pov, 1.3k. mentions of christmas music and horrible hours of the morning beware

It was 5:15. Five-fifteen in the goddamn morning. It was six in the goddamn morning, and it was the middle of August. The seventeenth of August, to be exact.

The third week, to the day, of Anakin’s personal hell.

Some context: Anakin was on the train, just trying to get to his job at a local bakery, still trying to wake up. He’d been late that morning and hadn’t had time for coffee, and was therefore grumpy. Grumpier than usual. So fucking grumpy.

And that same motherfucker from the past three weeks was singing. Again.

Now, Anakin wasn’t a cold-hearted monster, okay? He wasn’t against singing, not at all. Not even at 5:15 in the goddamn morning on a Thursday. Not even on the train. No, what he was against, morally and spiritually and on all levels (including physical), was the fact that the stranger was singing Christmas music. In August.

Today, it was Jingle Bells, though really, the song should’ve been named Jingle Hell. Overly jaunty, reminiscent of fifth-grade showcases, jarring and horrid, even when sung with a voice as nice as Christmas Music Man’s. A disgusting display of Christmas cheer, absolutely murdering Anakin’s poor eardrums, making him wish for the fiftieth time in the past twenty-one days that his stupid dog and stupider cat hadn’t totally destroyed his earbuds fighting over them, and that he wasn’t too busy (lazy) to go get new ones.

God, he was going to lose it. If he heard one more annoying-ass sing, he was going to—

… you gave it away. This year, to save me from tears, I’ll give it to someone special…

Last Christmas. The stranger, who always, for some sick and twisted reason, sat directly behind Anakin, was singing Last Christmas.

“Yo, dipshit, can you, like shut the fu—ck.” Anakin choked as he finally got a glimpse of the stranger. “Not up. Um. You can keep singing. Bye.”

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. He was hot. Oh, fuck. Oh, god. He was so fucking hot and Anakin had just called him a dipshit. And spazzed out. And, worse, told him he could keep singing his awful Christmas music. He’d told the most attractive asshole motherfucker he’d ever seen that he could keep singing Last Christmas. At 5:15 in the goddamn morning. In the middle of August.

Oh, fucking shit.

Anakin spent the rest of that (thankfully not-very-long, after his outburst) train ride in silence, rethinking his life, wondering how someone so hot could be committing such heinous crimes against humanity. It didn’t make sense, at first. The man had looked nice. Or just hot. Anakin didn’t know. He’d been wearing a sweater vest with nothing underneath, showing off his very muscular arms, and he’d had very soft-looking hair. How could someone who dressed like a slutty 80-year-old have such poor taste in music? Have such little respect for Anakin, and Anakin’s eardrums, and the world at large?

It didn’t make sense, but when Anakin talked to Ahsoka, who was opening with him that day, she told him it did.

“You know,” she said, “if he’s really that hot, there’s gotta be something wrong with him. So the universe is fair and shit.”

And Anakin had to agree. There truly was something wrong with the man. Deeply, deeply wrong. Disturbed, even. Not that it made it fair that Anakin still had to suffer every morning. Or that his eardrums felt like they might die.

The next morning, he resolved to put a stop to it, good looks aside. For the sake of both his sanity, and for the world. Well, the world of the train at 5:15 in the morning. It was important to him, okay?

So he steeled himself the next morning. Got up early so he could get coffee and fix his hair, because presentation was important in these sorts of confrontations. Not for any other reason. Anakin also wore his nice work shirt, the one without too many stains, for the impending argument, of course. He would’ve looked his best while telling any asshole to stop fucking singing Christmas songs on the train at ass-o’clock every morning, whether or not they were hot.

Okay, maybe it had something to do with the fact that the guy was hot. Whatever. Sue Anakin for wanting to make a better second impression.

When he got to the train, he felt all wound-up, just waiting for the inevitable. For Holly Jolly Christmas or All I Want for Christmas is You or Chestnuts Roasting on the Open Fire of Anakin’s Burning Hatred for Christmas Songs. Or whatever that last one was called. His knee was bouncing, fingers tapping, heart pounding in anticipation. For the inevitable confrontation, of course.

It began five minutes after Anakin sat down. 5:18 in the morning.

Fucking Spooky Scary Skeletons.

An insult to Anakin’s pride, to his honor, to his family, to the month of August, to Halloween, and to the world at large, that’s what the man behind him was singing. An insult of the highest order, and Anakin had only had one cup of coffee.

So he did something wild, something insane, something totally out of character for him.

He waited.

He waited until the train made its next stop, the one before his, and he moved quickly to sit across the aisle from the man.

“Hey,” he said before he could chicken out. “What the fuck is your problem?”

Hot Asshole turned to look at him slowly. “What do you mean?” He asked, all posh and British and refined, and wow, Anakin was beginning to understand the appeal of those love-hate, enemies-to-lovers, 100k slow burn type relationships. That was hot. Despite, or perhaps even more so because of, the man’s infuriating little eyebrow thing, it was really hot.

“Your stupid music,” Anakin heard himself saying, refusing to back down despite the sight in front of him. “Sir, are you aware that it’s August?”

The man smiled. Pretty, Anakin’s mind supplied. Shut up, he snapped back.

“What does that have to do with anything?” he asked, folding his hands over one knee, crossing it over the other.

Anakin blinked, slowly, trying to let his brain catch up. “Well, you’re. It’s. That’s a Halloween song,” he said, feeling dumber by the second.

“And?” The man was still smiling, all innocent, and Anakin was suddenly unsure if it was nerves or annoyance making his face flush.

“And, um—well—whoever you are, you’re singing Halloween music. It’s August.”

“I’m Obi-Wan,” the man said unhelpfully. “And I don’t see what the issue is. Spooky Scary Skeletons is about bones. The human body. Personally, I think bodies are relevant year-round, don’t you?”

No, it was definitely annoyance.

“That’s about spooky, scary skeletons. It’s a fucking Halloween song. And even if it was applicable, it doesn’t change the fact that you’ve been singing fucking Christmas music every day for the past three weeks.” Anakin gave the man his best glare, but it didn’t seem to phase him. On the contrary, he just smiled a little brighter.

“It’s just what’s been stuck in my head,” he said, sounding innocent. “I don’t know what you want me to do about it.”

“I—just—I—I want you to go out with me!” Okay, so Anakin didn’t mean to say that. In the slightest. And Obi-Wan was looking at him weirdly, and also, that wasn’t even a good solution to what Obi-Wan was asking, so Anakin opened his mouth to backtrack, but before he could—

“Okay.” Obi-Wan shrugged, smiling slightly. Anakin’s heart did a funny little somersault. “Is this your stop?”

And shit—it was, and Anakin hadn’t even gotten past the initial asking. No time to ask for horrible, hot, annoyingly heart-pounding Christmas Asshole’s number.

But that was fine. After all, Anakin was probably going to have to tell him to sing an appropriate song the next day, as well.

[katsukavi]

I wanted to make this a full fanfiction on my wattpad, but I didn’t want to disappoint everyone with the super slow updates (like my scumlord lol) so.. here’s crap I pulled out of my notes called arise, undead (“pretty obsessed” sung jin-woo x male, zombie reader) I also really like the options I have in tumblr lol. I’m a little embarrassed to add tags because I’m not sure if people will like it and stuff.. But yeah! This is the book cover I made for it here too! :D

Im having too much fun with these new stuff~ (please excuse me. this is my first long post and i love everything here—)

(spoilers)

The plot is that Jin-Woo finds an undead in the woods, tries to arise him and it does work. Now they fight together because the zombie has no memories and is literally immortal (yet dead). Near the end, they discover that MC was murdered and his body was buried in the woods yada yada. Then when Jin-Woo goes back, he has to save him. But, he has to save MC as a 15 year old while MC is a 27 year old..

(I planned that part out and I think it’s a little funny how suddenly a kid approaches you like “You’re going to die if you go somewhere. Come with me, I’m your lover from the future.”

“Ah, it’s a chuunibyou.. Sorry kid, but I need to go to work—“

“No.”

‘Alive or not, MC still looks like a zombie.. Why are you so overworked?!’)

IT WAS SUNG JIN-WOO’S FIRST TIME using his new job skills, so naturally he’d get excited in testing every single little thing about it. He just exited the purple hued portal behind him, feeling like he acquired an interesting new toy to play with. Even though he was tired from the lack of sleep, his joy kept him from passing out.

Either it was that, or the rain pouring over his head. All his excitement flushed into disappointment as his shoes got muddy from the damp forest foor and his clothes getting completely soaked in rainwater. It would be impossible to pass out with the loud thunder rumbling in the background.

He cursed with every step on his path, finding it hard to walk with the slippery and uneven soil, his vision blurry from water and dark skies and his body dragging itself against harsh rain. Unfortunately, he was also already very exhausted.

Out of all the times for a thunderstorm, why did it have to be right after the job change quest?

From behind the trees, he heard a low distorted roar—forcing him to dip his head towards it’s direction. He held a dagger in one hand, trying to make out its shape from behind the trees.

It was in a humanoid shape, making him relax just a little bit. “Is anyone there?” he questioned.

His voice seemed to reach the stranger as they left their hiding spot in the trees’ shade. The person looked to be a man wearing a formal suit, diluted blood marking over his chest and face. Even though he looked human, he didn’t seem to breathe, just limply staring at Jin-Woo with a blank and lifeless expression.

Strangely, the stranger’s (s/c) skin was pale, like blood hasn’t been pumping through his veins. But attacking a person because they looked really sick wasn’t a good thing, it’s like attacking an overworked person because they looked so dead. It was either it was too dark or the view was too blurry.

“Hello?” Jin-Woo called out one time, staying cautious from the stranger. It lunged at Jin-Woo with a raspy growl, nearly scratching his face. Jin-Woo ducked, a small scratch appearing on his face from the speed. It definitely wasn’t human.

Sung Jin-Woo was already fatigued, at a disadvantage with the location as well. He cursed, barely dodging every slash thrown at him. “Igris!” he called out, the shadow materialising from behind him. Igris grabbed the humanoid monster, a splash of mud splattering around as it was thrown.

Sung Jin-Woo stabbed it deep in the chest, not a single drop of blood spilling out as he stepped back to breathe. He put his hands on his knees, staring at the lifeless corpse as he sent Igris back. ‘It seems pretty strong.. Should I extract it?’

He took a deep breath, getting closer to the body as he raised his hand. His posture was elegant, holding a composed expression as droplets of rain streamed down his attractive face, adding to his charm. A deep and soothing voice left his mouth, sending chills to anyone who would hear it.

“Arise.”

Though unfortunately, the Shadow Monarch was greeted with nothing but silence and the sound of ambient rain. That’s odd, if it was a failed extraction then a notification would pop up to let him know or something. Was the system suddenly broken? If that’s the case, he should try again.

“Arise.. arise. ARISE!” he shouted multiple times, but a shadow didn’t get extracted. He furrowed his brows, squatting down to find out the cause of his skill suddenly breaking. “Why isn’t it working..?” he mumbled under his breath, getting closer to the body with a puzzled look on his face.

“Arise. Arise. Arise arise arise. Wake up. Rise and shine. Arise. Awake. Good morning. Arise.”

“I’m not dead yet, dimwit.”

Did the body just.. talk back to him?

“You didn’t hear anything,” Jin-Woo blurted out, getting embarrassed from the montage of Arise and synonyms he was saying to something that was alive. He stabbed the body once again, trying to kill it as he attempted once more. “Arise.”

“You don’t have to try again. I’m not dead,” the man just sat up like it was just his average tuesday, sliding out the blade from his chest, handing it to Jin-Woo and dusting off his clothes. The undead just raised his head towards the sky, watching clouds part as he lifted his palm, no more droplets landing on top of it. “Oh, the rain is clearing up.”

“Excuse me. Didn’t you just try to attack me?”

“Did I? I don’t remember,” the stranger scratched the back of his neck, looking bored as he yawned. “My name is (L/n) (M/n), age 27. And you are?”

“Sung Jin-Woo, 24.”

“Nice meeting you. Now where in the hell am I?”

/////////////////////////////

(L/N) (M/N) HAD A NASTY SCOWL on his face, plopping the sewing kit on Jin-Woo’s bed as he angrily tried to open it with one arm. Unfortunately, someone had cut off his right arm that he spent ages trying to sew back on.

“What next, my leg?” he cursed under his breath as Sung Jin-Woo opened it for him. “Wait a minute,” Jin-Woo said, sticking the end of his arm to his shoulder. “Hold this,” he said, making (M/n) keep his limb in one place as he put the thread in the needle.

“What?” The zombie still looked very angry, knitting his brows together as he held still. “I thought you needed a hand,” Jin-Woo lightly joked, trying to make (M/n)’s mood towards him a little better. The undead male gave him his signature dead stare, tightly holding his severed upper arm before speaking.

“Jin-Woo, I am dead serious here.”

He started to lightly chuckle, noticing that Sung Jin-Woo was almost finished with sewing his arm back on his body. “Hey, you’re pretty good at this.” His remark made Jin-Woo smile as he opened and closed his hand, almost as if it was brand new.

“My clothes kept getting ripped when I was E-Rank. I learned naturally.”

“The next time you rip off my limbs, please fix them too,” (M/n) said, flailing his right hand in the air with satisfaction.

“Well next time. I’m sure I’ll make you mine.”

“I doubt that.”

///////////////////////////// (now it’s just random dialogues i pulled out of my idea dump lol)

“OH HECK! There goes my leg!”

“Oh no... He’s dead! It’s not like I’m happy about it or anything~! ...Arise arise arise arise—“

“IM NOT DEAD!”

“God damn it.. Jin-Woo, could you go fetch my torso, and my arms and my legs and uh.. my head. Yes, thank you.”

“You don’t have a heartbeat and your skin is ice cold. I stabbed you 32 times. How are you still moving?”

“Dunno, ask Jesus.”

“I CAN’T BREATHE! I’M DYING.”

“You don’t breathe, (M/n).”

“Oh yeah, you’re right.”

“Sometimes I wonder if you want me dead or if you want me alive. Which one is it?”

“Either way is fine as long as you’re mine.”

“Gross, necrophiliac.”

“Good night, (M/n).”

“Good night, Jin-Woo..”

“Alright.. arise arise arise arise arise arise arise—“

“Once again, I am not dead.”

“You’re not useless, (M/n). Because when you die, I WILL MAKE YOU MY SHADOW.”

“HOW IS THAT SUPPOSED TO COMFORT ME?!”

[hockeyboysimagines]

Requests

I’ve decided to start taking some requests. I really enjoyed doing them for the Song Series, so I figured what the heck why not! Please refer to my Masterlist to see who I wrote for and who I don’t. You may request anonymously or not.

To make things a little more fun this is how it will work.

You can either request a prompt or an idea of your own with a reader insert (Y/N)

Or

You can request a prompt or an idea of your own with one of the boys and the character they’re linked to in one my original fics.

I think this will be a lot of fun and I’m really excited to see what you guys want. They will be answered as I get to them, so if your request doesn’t pop up right away, please know that I am working on it! I reserve the right to refuse doing something I am uncomfortable with. If you would like a request for a player who’s not on my Masterlist, please ask. I’m willing to add to it(But also have a backup player from the list as well please).

Here are the prompts! I will link this post in my Masterlist!

Have fun! -💕

Drabbles

1."Let's kiss and see where it takes us."

2."Idiots. They are all idiots.

3."What do you mean you got married in accident?”

4."It's impossible to get rid of me."

5."Sometimes, I don't know why I put up with you."

6."This is stupid. And kind of fun."

7."I may have lost it.”

8."High heels do look good on you."

9."Roadtrip!”

10."I'm annoyed, to say it mildly.”

11."Well, we can't fix it now."

12."I'm not touching that!"

13."You're not getting sea sick, are you?"

14."It's not what you think it is."

15."Did you eavesdrop?

16."The world is not ready for us."

17."What kind of sick dream is this?"

18."You're a legend, man!"

19."I'm just so tired."

20."I volunteer myself to go last."

21."Your handwriting is atrocious."

22."This whole thing is a mess!”

Smut prompts

1.“really? right here? you know people are going to see us...”

2. “be quiet, you wouldn’t want all your friends hearing us right?”

3. “are you sure about this?”

4. “no one could make you feel as good as i do”

5. “i’m going to ruin that pretty makeup”

6. “you make the prettiest sounds, i could listen to you all day”

7. “scream my name, show everyone whos fucking you so good right now”

8. “look at you, so wet already. i havent even touched you yet”

9. “are you going to go back to your friends like that? you look a mess darling”

10. “ dont worry, ill take good care of you.”

11. “you can be louder than that”

12. “tell me what you want me to do”

13. “ive never wanted to fuck someone as badly as i want to fuck you rn.

14.”i guess ill just have to get myself off.”

15. “do you want help with that?”

16. “good girl/boy”

17.“youre doing so good love”

18. “im going to fuck you until you forget that assholes name”

19.”im going to make you feel so good”

20.“you cant be that innocent y/n”

21.”i’m going to ruin you”

22. “

Romance prompts

1.“I could listen to you talk all day.”

2.“Have I already told you how cute you look?”

3.“One kiss is just never enough.”

4.“Not to sound cheesy, but your smile really lights up the room.”

5.“I cannot find the words to describe how I feel about you.”

6.“Being happy, fortunately coincides with making you happy.”

7.“Call me when you get home, so I know you’re safe.”

8.“Tonight was just perfect.”

9.“However many years we have left, I want to spend them all with you.”

10.“I have the feeling that you’re trying not to kiss me and I give you permission to just do it.”

11.“Sometimes, being with you feels like a dream that I don’t ever want to wake up from.”

12.“Being half-asleep is a very good look on you.”

13.“You can always talk to me, I will always be here for you.”

14.“I’ve missed you so much.”

15. “Do you want to know what I love most about you?”

16. “Do you remember that first night we met?”

17. “It’s always been you, and it will always be you. Please never forget that.”

[thatonewisegirl]

I wrote a poem of sorts and just thought I’d share.

⚠️TW⚠️ eating disorder and su!c!de. if this could trigger you please don’t read, take care of yourself.

I started to worry about what my body looked like when I was 12. Everyone I knew was thinner than me and I kept thinking “why can’t I look like that.”

When I was 13 I started to worry about what I eat. I thought if I ate less then I would weigh less and I would be pretty. When I got home from school I would eat dinner making sure what I was eating was healthy and wouldn’t make me put on weight. I started working out to make my thighs smaller. Slowly my school dress got bigger. It fit perfectly at the start of the year and now it’s baggy. I hated my body

When I was 14 I ate a little more. Still being careful of my weight still working out everyday to keep my shape. I purposely made sure I was underweight on the BMI because I needed to be. Whenever someone would call me “too skinny” for cheer uniforms or dance costumes I started to think maybe I need to change my body again to fit where I needed too. I never did, I’m still smaller, and I hate knowing what it took to get there.

When I was 15 I stopped eating completely. It was a waste of time, I was a waste of space. I thought if I didn’t eat maybe I would just die and it would all be ok. I feel sick when I eat, it’s almost like no matter how little it is it’s still to much. I went to hospital after getting the vaccine and the first thing they asked was about how much I ate. Did I worry about my weight? Did I limit how much I ate? The answer was yes but I lied. Mum jokes about it. But what if I’d told the truth, would it be fixed, would I be better.

I turn 16 this year. I’m 2 days in and I almost tried to off myself once. Mum is forcing me to eat. I can’t. I’m told what foods are good and what are bad. I’m told I should be great full that I even have food to eat. As if guilt tripping me into eating would work. Don’t pretend you care about those people who don’t have anything, you use them. You use their pain to minimise mine. I hate every part of myself, there is not a single thing I like about myself anymore. I have been stripped down to nothing. Im not even a person anymore, just an empty shell. A frame that use to have something, but not anymore. Im barely even alive, I’m not even trying to survive I’m just waiting for a time where I can just leave.

[firelord-frowny]

i promise im not trying to sound Special when i lament about how alien i feel from the rest of the world - or at least the rest of the community I'm surrounded by* - buuuuuuuuuuut

consider the question "where do you want to be in life?"

People usually answer that by expressing a desire to move up in their career and pursue their dream job. Maybe they wanna get married. Maybe they want financial freedom. They want to lose unhealthy habits and learn healthier ones. They want to go get their masters degree. their phd. they wanna buy their dream car.

But when I answer that question - when someone asks me where I want to be in life - I really tell them WHERE.

I describe a location. Not a job, or a lifestyle, or a relationship.

I want to be in Alaska (or any similarly wild and wide region a la Gaines, PA). I want to live far enough away from major roadways that I can go hours at a time - maybe even days - without hearing a car pass by. I want there to be a direction I can look in where I won't see anything manmade - only the bare naked landscape of earth, the way the earth meant for itself to be. I want it to get so dark at night that the milky way casts a shadow in the summertime. I want to see auroras. I want it to snow in winter. A lot. I want to look outside and see rare birds.

I could land my dream job and meet the love of my life and become a multi millionaire and I could win an oscar for best original screenplay and I could be part of an award wining string quartet and I could publish books and i STILL would not be happy, because the only thing that I truly value besides the health and safety of my loved ones is the ability to feel connected to the planet that humankind evolved in.

I wanna breathe the air we breathed 50,000 years ago. I wanna water the plants I pick my fruit from. I wanna see the stars that our most ancient ancestors learned to rely on. And I don't care what kind of ~wellness~ and ~self care~ and ~mental health~ bullshit anyone ever tries to do. You cannot compensate for or substitute the mental/spiritual fulfillment that comes from experiencing life on earth in a way that's in harmony with the natural processes of the universe.

It makes me fucking sick to my stomach when some smiling news anchor babbles the report from on their teleprompter that lectures about how "studies show that spending at least 15 minutes a day outdoors in a natural area can improve your mood!"

15 minutes? is this a fucking joke to you? I live my life in a concrete hellscape of putrid air, lights that never get turned off as they flicker and buzz, high-pitched electronic noise frequencies that set my nerves on fire, and you wanna fucking condescend to me about how Fifteen Minutes Or More Could Save You 15% On Existential Emptiness??? i fucking HATE you.

When I tell people how utterly hollow I feel in this urban wasteland of bricks and asphalt and right angles, they're eager to tell me all about the Lots Of Really Nice Parks In The Area. They really think they're giving me useful information. They feel genuinely happy to have bestowed me with knowledge that will make it all better. They really think strolling a few times around the fitness trail a Allen Pond is gonna fill me with peace. They really think I'll find calm and clarity at the national arboretum. They don't understand the the thing I need from the world does not exist here within a 200 mile radius. Do you get it??? It's like living on a diet of nothing but potato chips. It'll keep me alive for a good while, but I'm still going to die prematurely from a heart attack or whatever.

I hate it here and therapy and deep breathing cannot ever fix that.

I just need to GET OUT.

[silentxxsoul]

The ‘holy shit how is it the finale already???’ reaction dump:

ayyyyyye here we gooooooo!!!

I'm simultaneously excited for tonight but hella nervous of the potential cliffhanger they'll leave us with (get it, cause the rig goes down a cliff???)

(sorry)

(no im not)

can we stop talking about placentas in smoothies

oh so the real cliff hanger is gonna be early, huh? on the bright side that means we know nothing terrible happens to bobby since we know he's all healthy like at the vow renewal

I'm no firefighter but even I know yall didn't properly anchor that rig. Clipboard Buck would NEVER

Man the 118 has a shitty record with fire trucks lmao

Bobby bby don't internalize it

Buddie BFFs back on my screen doing adorable husband things

Eddie laughing at his own fix-it joke, being all sassy and shit

S6 better be the rise of Sassy Diaz, I'm just saying

MADNEY ♥♥♥♥♥♥

Hell of a miscommunication there Chim holy god

Well, that was dramatic

HENRIETTA NOT OUT LOUD LMAO

I'm gonna be sick too, don't worry

Chim in the background wincing away omg I love him

But also, this gif is worth repeating since they once again are gonna make me barf

Denny!!! He's so big!!!!

Uhm, so wait - not a henren renewal????

No complaints tho, cause Toni and Clive are fucking adorable and I love them

Someone give Karen a hug for me :(

sobbing

Maddie taking big steps for her future (starting over), we love to see it!

Buck, what was that face lmao

Ravi running interference, love it ♥

"Knowing they have your back" - Ravi ships Buddie is canon yall

JFC what was that????

Sorry, I'm still thinking about Ravi's words of wisdom and how they literally called back to Buck and Eddie's "You can have my back any day" and "Or you could have mine".

GOING FERAL OVER IT ACTUALLY

(thats literally fox trying to gaslight me into thinking I'm not seeing the buddie moments)

This rescue is giving me too much anxiety yall

I need them to be ok

Buckley sibling moments, inject them into my veinssss ♥

Buck you are literally talking about you and Eddie, you realize that right? Like you both have been at rock bottom with each other and came out on the other side tOGeTheR

But also, Maddie listen to your brother because that accurately describes you and Chim

This couple is killing me (in a good way tho)

THEY'RE SO ADORABLE STOP I LOVE THEM

THAT MEET CUTE OMG

I don't know that I've ever been this invested in a rescue couple but I do know that I love them and they must be protected at all costs

There's 15 minutes left for BT breakup and a wedding, how the fuck do they fit it in with the commercials ? ? I really think we needed another ep or two - the last couple have felt so packed and fast paced and they could have benefited from more time to wrap things up.

In my heart I want a Buddie "oh" moment during the vows but I know we wont get it, so fellow fic writers pls pls pls deliver k thanks bye

"I'm sorry you're still upset" is such a shitty non apology

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THIS SHOUDL HAVE ENDED A WHOLE ASS SEASON AGO

"Two days of traffic collisions and trash fires will take care of that" idk why that was so funny to me

Eddie looked so cute when Bobby opened that door ♥

I fucking love this scene so much, Eddie and Bobby needed this

"You saved my life, and my sons" brb sobbing and throwing up

BOBBY PUT IT DOWN PLS

OR POUR IT OUT

PLS

THANK YOU

EDDIE THANK YOU TOO

The 118 is such a tight knit family, they keep saving each other and half the time they don't even know they're saving each other

Toni aayyyyyye surprise vow renewal!!!!!!!!

Karen, don't worry I'll take the deviled eggs

NIA FLOWER GIRL AND DENNY WALKING HIS MOMS DOWN THE AISLE IM FUCKING SOBBING THIS IS THE BEST ENDING

Amicable ? Did not expect

Now to wait until September ahhhh

[foryouthegays]

also if anyone wants me to transcribe a clip pls send an ask :) or find something :)

good laugh times: 00:40:10, 00:44:44, 00:54:30, 00:55:47 00:58:37

sellout timer: 00:30:40, 01:26:00

other things: (00:10:00 biiiiiig stretch!!!) (00:39:55 that was the most ‘skeppy tried to troll me but i trolled him first’ scream ive heard in a while a;lskdjfadl) (01:23:00 TECHNOSNEEZE TECHNOSNEEZE)

summary:

Technoblade starts the stream and finds an infinity room (a room covered in white item frames and backed with glowstone or sea lanterns, making it look like there is just Void and no end) covering his house. he removes the grief and continues his intro. While waiting for Tommy to join his VC, he finds a Zombie villager, cures it, and reads donations.

Techno and Tommy go to New L’manburg and fix one of Technos propaganda posters. They find Fundy and Ranboo and tell them that if Techno gets his sword back, he’ll help them fight the wither he’s going to spawn. He spawns the wither and runs around while Ranboo and Fundy try to kill it. He doesn’t get his sword back until a few minutes into the battle. Ranboo gives him both his sword and his axe after the Wither is killed by Punz and Fundy.

Fundy gets the Wither Star, and Techno decides that it’s rightfully owned by him. Tommy and Techno start torturing Fundy into giving them the Star. After Techno gets the star back, Tommy starts trying to get his disks back. Techno tells Tommy he’s going too far, and Fundy starts crying, and eventually dies.

Tommy and Techno start to move back to their house, and Tommy gets distracted with the idea of blowing up the community house. Techno convinces him otherwise, and eventually comes clean with his intentions and goals to destroy L’manburg. He asks Tommy to join him, and Tommy accepts.

They go to the wolf army and breed the dogs. While underground, they’re almost caught, but they run away before anyone can catch them.

Techno and Tommy talk about an eventual SBI meetup, make a beacon, and then end the stream.

loud startin the stream today!!!!! :D!!!!!! 10 sec in

oh hes actually loud today this is great his voice gets so nice when hes louder

00:00:30 ‘i’ve made a severe and continuous lapse in judgement” s;ladjfkald

00:00:50 diD HE MAKE AN INFINITY ROOM OR???? IS HE JUST????? WH AT???

oH MY GOD IT IS AN INFINITY ROOM AKSDFJALSDF IS THAT IN THE ACTUAL SMP OR????

aa;lskdfjasd someone mADE AN INFINITY ROOM A;LSDKFJASDF WHO????

00:03:00 i love how even minecraft g o d s cant remember fence gate/fence crafting recipes akdjhfald

00:04:45 ‘gUYS DON’T STAY IN SCHOOL!!!’ ‘n- no you should stay in school’ yeah, sure techno ‘collage dropout’ blade

00:05:17 ‘tommy, is this your credit card? let me read the numbers aloud, tommy’ -technos impression of tommys mom

zombie villager pog!

LISTEN TO HOW HE SAYS CONVENIENT AT 5:45 AHHH I LOVE HIM

00:07:35 why does,,,why does techno say disorientating instead of disorienting??? he says disorientating and i just,,,,,techno,,,,techno thats not the American way of saying it. also i didnt capitalize american bc of Being A Country i did it bc of Emphasis a;lksdfal

he stretch!!!!!! ten mins in

techno ate breakfast pog!!!! 00:10:30

13:00 a;lksdjfal

---

STOP MAKING TECHNO GOOD AT CHESS IN GAME HES SAID SEVERAL TIMES THAT HE IS NOT I AM GOING TO SCREAM more proof: 00:14:40 also he calls the chess board ‘the map’ and im akjsdfhkljasd

00:15:40 “i don’t think that dumb people become Minecraft youtubers, I think it’s that being a Minecraft youtuber makes you dumber.”

00:15:50 ‘i was a smart child, I was doing well in school--I mean I wasn’t doing my homework or anything but I was doing well on the tests,” a;lsdkfja

“it do be doing that” -technoblade 2021

WHY DOES HE JUST RANDOMLY KNOW CHESS OPENING NAMES IM SICK OF HIM WHY IS HE LIKE THIS  I HATE IT HERE AALSDKFJASF 00:17:45 its so funny he just reads wikipedia for fun and also same

‘YOURE TALKING SOUNDS’ -tommyinnit, 19:40

00:20:05 ‘tommy, tommy, you’re speaking words, but the only universal language is sounds.’

00:23:24 “we’re going to go threaten....some certain government agents...in minecraft, since I know the FBI is listenin in on my phone right now [techno gets further from his mic and some thuds can be heard] let me just toss that over there...there we go, now they can only listen through my laptop”

00:32:17 mmmm technoyell

fundy n ranboo!!!! 00:33:50

god could u imagine knowing that technos doin a plot stream nd he joins ur call w tommy and they just???? start talking abt the canonical status of ants and new york????? such is the life of ranboo nd fundy a;lksdfjals

WITHER POG WITHER POG WITHER POG WITHER POG 00:39:20

00:39:55 how does he make that sound im crying

HE LAUGH!!!!!!

a;lkdsfjasd ranboo bullying time 00:44:00

god could u imagine being a fan of the dream smp, joining and ur surrounded by all these people uve looked up too, and then they start bulling you?? such is the life of ranboo

torture time!!! 00:46:15, its to get back the star :D

00:50:45 its lowkey terrifying how techno calls torturing fundy to tears ‘the good times’ and laughs while tommy interrogates him. i love it, but also im scared of him. still an apologist. he needs his stuff back!

also like,,,,,techno telling tommy he went too far? terrifying. if techno says you went too far, thats saying something

HE LAUGH!!!!

HE LAUGH AGAIN!!!

my favorite part of techno tommy interactions is how technoll say like, a metaphor or smthin nd tommy just,,,,,,,, ‘yeAHHH BITCH’ its so funny. a good example is 00:56:00:

techno: if you want to make an omlette, you’ve gotta break a few eggs

tommy: yeaaahhhh!! break eggs and bitch!

techno: ....what?

its so funny to me ak;dfjlasjf

and like, their rambles are COMPLETELY different. techno does most of his hopping around in his head and talks about it once he’s figured out what he should do, and tommy just says things out loud without thinking its hilarious

and like, in game, techno is a LOT more calculated than people think. when tommy tries to get techno to blow up the community house, techno has to rein him back in because ‘i’m all for violence, but we need a plan.’ and ‘how would blowing up the community house get your discs back??’ he’s a lot more organized than most of his teammates nd i love it

but like,,,sometimes techno just Says things and its great.  00:57:20 ‘the only dirt we have on dream is his dirt shack, amirite? [claps] gottem. he’s homeless!! eyyyy. lmao.’

00:58:20 is good. also skyblock is canon now.

01:06:50 SBI MEETUP SBI MEETUP

also ‘i dont know about smiling, but’ a;ldkfjadls;fjasf

i love tommy nd techno just kinda vibing

01:16:30 ‘mmmm audience retention rate....mmmm ants’ aldkfja this stream is so dumb i love it

dID TECHNO USE THEY/THEM FOR ERET AT 01:20:55 OR WAS THAT A GENERAL ‘EVERYONE ELSE’ THEY

1:23:00ish TECHNOSNEEZE

A;LSDKFJAS LIKE AN HOUR AFTER GETTING HIS SWORD BACK HE REALZIES HE HAS IT BACK HES SUCH A NERD 01:24:45

he sounds V tired rn a;lsdkfjkasdf

STREAM TOMORROW TOO??? P O G

[dylanxmin]

Arranged Beauty ∣ m.yg

this fic is part of the event that hosted by @ / House of Ddaeng network. 

y/n thought she is way good with being alone and rejects her parents insist on getting marrying with someone they offered, but soon after, she realizes she is not way good with being alone. contrary, she needs that arrange marriage.

pairing; min yoongi x reader

genre; fluff, angst, arranged marriage!ua, first date!au,

warnings; swearings, mention of sexual association, y/n gets bratty for a second but she’s gonna regret that, soft soft yoongi but also brat, jealous yoongi, they both just stupid,,

rating; pg-15

word count; 8.2 k

a/n; i have no idea what i did. it started as a waaay shorter story, but end like this, asfhas,, hope you’ll love this fic as much as like to write it. im curious about what you’ll think about this, so yes, feedbacks are highly appreaciated!! thank you for reading, lots of love ♡

Twenty-six. 

That was the age when your parents started to pressure you to have a decent life. According to them, one can call their life as a decent one, if they are married, but they were also okay with a short time engagement. And when you hit the age of twenty-six, they start to bother you, bombard you with their wills to be grandma and grandpa. 

Your mother's daring character even leads herself to offer you some pictures of the men she knows somehow. Lawyers, doctors, and of course the future CEOs of the very important companies. 

At the age of twenty-six, you thought they were going crazy or trying to make you go crazy. Of course, you vetoed every man she offered you, even though your mom can be very, very persistent, you handled the situation well. Avoiding them until they get sick of your stubborn attitudes, and they stop keeping their hopes high. Well, your little sister's marriage had helped you with the issue, but either because of this and that, they stopped forcing you. 

Even though your parents find it highly pathetic, you finally enjoyed winning the constant fight that was going on for years with them. In your single-roomed apartment, all by yourself, and no one there to heat your cold feet in the coldest days of winter. 

And at the age of thirty-two, you start to think a lot. Overworking, and overthinking yourself with the black space in your chest. 

The freedom you loved so much led you to stay single, one night stands, and the dates you go to a couple of times aside. Most days, it didn't bother you that much. Being alone and being all alone forever. Seriously, it didn't bother that much. Until you find yourself in the loop where you watch only romantic comedies, paying a great deal of money for the napkins, as you find yourself crying until your throat goes sore. 

That's how you found yourself dialing your sister's number, mumbling some bullshit over the phone. Throat sore, eyes puffy and red from all the crying, words falling from your lips, and Eunji finds it too hard to understand what you were talking about. She puts you on speaker, calls for her lovely husband he loves so much, and hoping Hoseok could understand what was going on with you. 

''... not wantin' that. Don' want to die alone,'' freshly married couple only manage to pull these words from your mouth, and couldn't clarify the thing you babbled. 

Does it sound completely pathetic? Well, if you have the authority, you can always blame the cherry martini. And if you have to be honest, despite you don't want to, it was more like lots of gin side with cherries. 

According to what you say to them-- you, of course, couldn't remember what you said. And how much they told your parents, you at the age of thirty-two found yourself in a first meeting. With the man you'll be married.

Arranged marriages weren't your thing, but seeing your friends getting married one by one, having children, and happily married in front of you, basically forced you for doing this. Thirty-two years old so-called modern advertiser gets sick of the loneliness she had and agrees to an arranged marriage. And this is no other person than you.  

When Eunji and Hoseok come to visit you and giving you the big news with a wide grin, you didn't think that they would find someone so quickly, but as the rumor says--rumor was no other than your sister--, the very charming neurosurgeon who is only thirty-five couldn't find himself a decent woman to marry. Not to your surprise, your parents get so hyped up with the news, and to your luck, the man--soon after you learn that his name was Yoongi. Min Yoongi-- happened to be the very best friends of Hoseok. 

Without wasting any more time, your parents meet with each other on the phone, both women burning with the desire for a grandchild, even though they already have. And the fathers, talking formally with each other, and saying how being single after the thirties is dangerous for one's career. Deciding the time and place for both of you two meet, and even your parents decide what you should wear. 

It all feels like you are the head actress in a movie, where your parents forced you to marry the rich man for your family's debt. In all reality, there was no debt or force. Maybe there is a little force, but in the end, you wanted them to find someone for you. When you keep thinking about it, guilt starts to creep towards your chest. Questions with unknown answers fill your mind. 

What if the man turns out as a psychopath? What if he has some weird kinks that you can't handle? The more you think everything scares the shit out of you. You cover your face with your palms, you groan while your head falls on the table. How could you be this stupid to agree on what your parents always wanted? Arranged marriage? What time is this? The late seventies? 

In the internet age, you really did agree on meeting with the man you probably were going to marry in a small coffee shop that your parents chose, wearing a blue dress that also your parents picked. 

Is it too late to go back? What if you leave before he gets here? Probably he doesn't know how you look--as you had no idea about his face or body image. A huge knot sits on your throat, making it hard to swallow your regrets. Not that you were giving lots of crap about someone's look, but what if he is not your type? Is it okay to leave after ten minutes of talk? What if--

''Ih-hım,'' before another ball of questions jerk into your mind, a fruity voice cuts you, ''L/N Y/N?'' while you taking your hands from your face and lifting your head from the table, the comforting fresh odor fills your nostrils even before you see the man. ''Y--yes,'' 

Between in your slight nods, twinkling your eyelashes while staring at the man in front of you. Thick blonde haired-man eyeing you above, a light smile hangs on his face, square glasses stand under the button nose. Contrary to your dismay, he is looking good. His smile gets wide, hangs his hand in the air, ''I'm Min Yoongi. It's nice to meet you,'' 

It takes a couple of minutes before you realize that you should greet him the way he did. Even though you try hard not to act like an idiot, you are flummoxed by his sudden appearance. The voice of the chair tumbling to the floor echoes in the shop, causing all the heads to turn towards you when you clumsily get up. ''Oh, I'm so.. sorry,'' you jabbered after your head bumps to the man's when both of you try to fix the chair. 

''I'm really sorry,'' you utter in agony and guilt. Probably you look like an idiot, rather than only feeling like it. He smiles and waves his hand like it's nothing after adjusting your chair. ''I'm not going to suffer from it, don't worry,'' he chuckles, eyes staring deeply. Even though he isn't much taller than you, his soft but scanning glares made you feel smaller. He put his hand in his pocket, flexing his shoulders while standing inches away from you. Before your mind works properly and offers him to sit, you keep watching his sight. Eyes wander, settles on the others without landing on you, glancing up to the ceiling. 

''Oh my--Please take a seat,'' you plead, gesturing the chair across from the table. His brows raise with your high pitched voice, but the soft smile takes its place without wasting time. He nods, taking his seat in front of you. The reason why you act like this is both caused by how attractive he is, and how nervous you are. Either way, you feel dump while sitting across from him. 

After you take your place, long silence arises between you two. So, you take the advance from this silence by scanning him. From head to toe. 

He is wearing a dark blue sweater, a black coat on top of it, with black pants. The only colorful thing was his blonde hair, and it surprises how he looks so good with it. One glance and anyone could understand how important he is and the job he does. He is intimidating, contrary to his small smile on the corner of his lips. When your stare meets with him, you understand that he is scanning you the same way you do. Were you looking good? Does the dress look stupid in this weather? Despite his coat and sweater, you were wearing a blue thin dress with black spots. You wonder if the cut on the dress is too low or not. Not that you can do anything about it. 

''So, you are a doctor?'' his eyebrows rise with your statement. It was stupid of you, but the bizarre silence only causes you to grow more anxious. Yoongi places his hands on the table, holding his laugh on the back of his throat. He feels how anxious you are, and he enjoys how your expression changes when you think you said something stupid. He finds it cute. He nods and smiles while your face goes pink. ''Neurosurgeon, yes.'' 

''Cool,'' blinking your lashes, you start to nod in small. You didn't know if he is interested in you or the opposite, so you didn't want to make, or say something weird and scare him away. So, when the waiter came and took your orders, you thanked him mentally. Because you were at the edge of asking how much money he makes, and looking like a total gold digger. Aish... why can't you act like a normal woman for a minute? 

''And you?'' the husky voice of the semi-stranger made your heart flinch and gathered all of your attention to himself. You tilt your head and he sees your glazed face. ''What you do for a living?'' he asks one more time. Rather than finding you oddly idiot, he likes the way your cheeks go pink. ''Ah. Work. You mean... my job,'' he nods, the smile bigger now. ''I-I'm working for an advertisement company... yes,'' normally you would find your job highly amusing and cool, but with him, you feel small. Like the job you have was nothing, as he touches brains every day. Oh... you feel like an idiot. A real idiot. 

''Oh. That's cool,'' he smiles, nodding his head the same way you did. And he enjoys the way your cheeks blushes after his little tease. 

And you couldn't understand why he was acting so... kind. Contrary to all the things you did, which they were very stupid, he didn't mind them. Rather, he looked like he enjoyed them, and this literally made you feel uneasy. It was strange. Yes... strange. 

''Really?'' you tilt your brow, ''You think that's cool? Or, are you trying to insult me?'' his eyes went round, blinking them a couple of times. 

''Did I sound like that?'' he lifts his hands up, fixing his posture to emphasize and look sincere to you. ''I didn't mean to sound like that. I'm sorry and of course, I am not trying to insult you nor the job you do.'' you nod, expecting his apology. It was your time to enjoy the way he looks dumbfounded. 

''Iced americano,'' when the waiter comes with your orders, you hear him release a long breath under his breath. The way he takes a sip from his cup, and not knowing where to look kinda warms your heart, and you feel bad for mocking him, but still, you were having fun with this. 

After a couple of minutes of silence, you decide it wasn't fun to mock with him. Instead, it killed the mood and now Yoongi wasn't talking, probably too scared to talk with a psycho like you as you just accused him something he didn't do like some hebete. And the way you found it funny, left its place to regret while you were playing with your mug, chewing inside of your mouth in guilt. 

''H-how did you met with... Hoseok?'' yes, you know it is a lame question to ask but the stupid awkwardness was eating you alive, and you want it come to an end.  

''College,'' he pressed his lips together, eyes carefully sizes you up as he doesn't want to say something to offend you. And you were sure that was going to be the last thing he said, and probably leave after drinking his coffee in rush. But he surprises you with the sudden giggle. ''In the first year of college, we decided to go to a Carnival and I still don't know why we decided to do it. But in the roller coaster, suddenly someone held my hand and never left it until it stopped--''

''Oh my... don't tell me it was Hoseok!'' you jerk your hand to your lips, very amused by the new information he gives. 

''Jackpot.'' he doesn't even try to hold his smile back, nodding his head cutely. ''I had to take care of him for the rest of the night. Because he was so frightened and needed someone.'' both of you start to laugh with the memory of him. Even though you would never think Hoseok would do that, somehow you could imagine him doing that. Somehow that suits him well. 

''Yoongi, you gave me the best card ever against him.'' you chuckled, wiping the tears from your eyelids. ''He will feel remorse over setting this meeting,'' your stomach starts to ache a little from the laugh you share with him. And you were glad that he didn't let go of this date and made you laugh like this. 

Yoongi waved his hand while leaning to take a sip from his cup, ''He will probably kill me for telling you this.'' the corners of his mouth turned up before he talked again. ''You should protect me from him as I share this with you.'' you exchange looks with him. The playfulness of him surprised you and how he changed the mood so smoothly. 

You nod with a smile on the corner of your lips, staring at his eyes. ''Of course. I will.'' 

After exchanging the memory of your mutual friend, the bleak mood left its place to a warmer one. There were a couple of good jokes, more questions to get to know each other better, and you almost forgot that this was the arranged date and you had so much fun rather than you assume. With the timid glances, leaning each other to hear better, and the way you two get closer in time felt like a real date. Not a date your parents arranged. 

Now you know about his love for music, and one could never doubt his passion for it. The way he talks about it causes your heart to hum, seeing how his eyes go all shiny while showing you his carefully made it playlist warmed your chest, you can't lie. Seeing someone getting this enthusiastic about the thing he loves brought the memories of how you liked to paint at one time. Getting all dirty while trying to achieve your goals, nose went numb because of the smell. You loved it. 

Somehow, the blonde man finds his way to your heart, and you had no objections to this. 

''Okay, tell me yes,'' you tear yourself off from the memories, and adjust your focus on him. Hands up in the air, eyes gleaming in anticipation. 

''I will,'' you said in a curious tone, seeing the corners of his mouth turning up, ''If, I know the reason,'' 

You giggle the way his eyes going round, he looks like you betrayed him. A thing about him always finds its way to make you feel relaxed around him, and it was like you knew him for more than three hours. ''After all the things we share, all the laughter and all these minutes. I thought you would say 'yes', but I guess I'm a fool,'' 

''Uh, if you are going to be this dramatic, then yes. For what is in your mind,'' you can't ignore the gasp that escaped his mouth, hand wraps his heart, shushing to fix the broken pieces of it. ''We were thinking about treating her with the best chicken wings in the country, but she decides to act rude. Every cloud has a silver lining, huh?'' he pouts, faking an attitude. 

''Oh. Pardon me and my bad mouth.'' you decide to continue the game he started. ''From now on, I won't have a second doubt about saying 'yes'. Promise.'' his mouth curved into a smile after you lifted your pinky finger in the air, and without wasting time, he wraps his around yours. 

''And tell me more about those chickens,'' you say, stealing a laugh from his chest. 

''Oh my--god.'' your hiccup interrupts you while laying yourself on the back of the booth. You lick the sweet chilly from your finger, having a food baby in your stomach never felt this good. It was the best chicken you ever eat, and you almost started to cry after tasting it the first time. The sweet chili sauce and the crispy cover on the chicken wings just blew your mind and took your mouth with it. If you could, you would eat a dozen of them. 

''Right!'' Yoongi voices with pleasure, takes another bite to fill his mouth, ''This brings heaven to your mouth. No less.'' your laugh cuts in the middle as a cramp finds its way to your stomach. You really ate too much. 

''You were right, but I guess I'm going to faint.'' opening the little packet, you start to clean your fingers with the wet wipe, the sharp smell immediately fills your nostrils. You did enjoy every bite, it wasn't a lie. But you could feel the heaviness on your stomach from all the eating and the drinking. You were over thirty and there was no point worrying about eating too much or drinking beer on the first date. 

To be honest, you would worry about this if the date was not with him. But with him, with Yoongi you don't feel the need for acting differently. You like the way you can do whatever you want to do. 

''What about another round?'' his eyes gleamed with a mischievous hint. It was triggering the ache in your stomach, and as every sensible human being, you should say no. But the sweet taste lingers on your teeth, numbs your tongue with its savor. 

''You are inviting me to sin.'' you wipe the corner of your mouth while trying to lean towards him, but the body feels like a ton. Despite the ache and the handicap on your way to breath, you reveal a big grin. How could you say no while he looks at you with those bright browns? You couldn't. ''And I'm happy to participate in this. Course you need to pay for my hospital expenses,'' 

He lets out a choked, husky laugh. Holding his stomach while serving you the best gummy smile, and looks deep into your eyes after adjusting his posture. ''Believe me,'' the way he licks his bottom lips just does something to you. Levitates your stomach, sticks your breath on your throat. If someone would ask you, you would gladly accept to watch him sit in front of you. That's something you are sure about. ''You won't regret eating too much of this. No one can.'' 

He holds his hand up after tearing his eyes from you, calling the waitress for the second round. A grin stuck on his lips, you stupidly believe him. You would believe if he said he is the president of the world, and that was stupid. But you didn't mind, as your heart never filled with this much joy for so long. 

With a wiggle in your stomach, you feel heavy on the heart. Overwhelmed by his actions, the way he affects you. The way he has the cutest, heartwarming smile made you angry as he had no right to look like this. With the blonde hair, smart-looking glasses, and the round button nose that you just wanted to boop your finger. 

It was enough to catch you on his spell but too much for your poor heart.

You know that you owe a big thanks to Hoseok for arranging this date-- you didn't know what this was, to be honest. Was it a date that he agreed just for fun and not calling you in the morning, or is he thinking this is more serious than a silly date? You didn't even know what or how to think about this. Yes, you agreed to an 'arranged marriage' thing with your parents, but were you going to marry the first man you date? Were you going to decide after one date? 

Whether deciding it after the first date, or the first man, you only know one thing. And that is the amount of joy and happiness you feel heavy on your chest. Only watching him while he is eating chicken wings in extreme delight was enough to change the speed of your heartbeats, so you had only one thought. Letting him decide. 

Your judgment wouldn't be clear or sensible, you know that as the heat on your chest won't stop growing minute by minute you spend with him. 

Letting him decide if this is just a one-time thing he just agreed for his friend's sake, or he would consider marrying you. You didn't know if handing the ball in his hands was being selfish or the contrary, but you just want to enjoy the moment and not overthink it. Or about him. 

No lie, you liked him. Maybe even too much for the first date, but screwing this up the last thing you want as you always do. Selfish or not, you choose not to make a decision. 

''Can I open my eyes, now?'' 

Everybody would like a little excitement in their life, as well as you. But you never imagine that excitement would be like this, taking somewhere on your first date with a blindfold. It was much more likely a napkin from the place you ate the chicken wings than a blindfold, but it didn't change the result. 

Yoongi decided to take you somewhere you could burn the calories you have been whining about. Probably you wouldn't come up with an idea about the place, but as you were almost walking for almost ten minutes, it should be close. Thinking and trying to guest the destination was useless, as you never came here before. 

One second you were worrying about marriage, but now, all that worry turns into losing your lungs. If you could stop being dramatic, you trust Yoongi enough that he wouldn't do such a thing, but would you ever stop? That is trickier than taking away by a blindfold. 

You hear Yoongi's sigh, very likely getting sick of your questions, as you never shut up asking questions. But how could you stop exactly? How could you expect him to hold you by the wrist, covering the napkin on your eyes after handling the check and saying he knows how to burn those calories. He is not resembling a creep, but who would do and say such a thing? It is suspicious. 

''Okay. You would probably slap me after finding out where we are, and the unnecessary act of cutting your sight,'' he pauses to let a giggle, hands of him leave your waist and wrist, ''Either way, prepare to defeat Y/N,'' 

Before his fingertips find the hem of the napkin and free your eyes, you collect the latest clues about the place and the thing he said. A couple of boy's voices reach your ears, shooting and directing each other. The very last hints you could get before the lights dazzle your eyes. 

''Ow,'' you whispered, covering your eyes to protect them from lights in a reflex. 

Yoongi stands there, waiting beside you while you blink your lashes in the cutest way possible, watching your eyes go between him and the basketball court. The corner of his mouth quirked up, enjoying way too much with how you look at him with wide eyes in awe. ''So?'' he holds his arms in the air, makes a circle with his body, and stops after turning his face to yours once again with a proud smile on his lips. 

''So?'' you repeat, tilting your brows. Seeing the three boys playing basketball on one of the hoops, the other one is empty, waiting for you two to play on there. There was another couple of people who were sitting on their portable chairs, drinking from their cups, and laughing. It was them and the boys who were too caught up with their game but even thinking to play in front of them made you nervous. It was duskily illuminated, but still, you had worries to play. 

''What, too scared to play with me?'' pale blond lifts an eyebrow, seeing the timid look on your eyes, he leans over, brushing his shoulder to yours, ''You know you can't beat me, don't you?'' a sheepish smile stands on his face to tease you. Yoongi didn't know about you too much, yet he could understand pushing your legs would pay. 

''Tch, please.'' just the way he thought, your ego beats your anxiety. ''I could crush you with my amazing triple shoots,'' you stick your tongue out, can't help but act like three years old while challenging him. The way you act, causes him to burst into a laugh. When he thinks you can't look cuter than before, you stand in front of him, sticking your tongue out. He must have done something so good to have you in return. 

''Well well, then you should show me those 'amazing' shoots,'' while you tilt your brows for the second time today, he leaves you in surprise, turning his back at you and starts to walk away. 

''We don't have a ball to play!'' you try to remind him, yelling at his back but he turns around, grin on his face. If he tries to look cool, you know he won't look his butt on the ground because walking backward isn't cool, or a sensible thing to do. ''You think?'' he shouts back, the mischievous glow could be seen from where you stand. 

What does 'you think' mean? You don't have a ball to play if he didn't plan this before and take one with himself but to your knowledge, you are not blind. Because one can see the orange ball-- You could go on the debate in your mind if he wasn't talking with the boys you notice before, taking their ball after having a small talk with them. 

Yoongi walks over you, bounces the ball, swirling it around his body. Basically showing off, trying to surprise you with the moves he made. You watch as the wind messes with his hair, how he grips the ball, and bounce it like a professional. He is good at what he does, and you could understand that with a glimpse of look, but also you can catch the way his eyes follow the ball, lips curled up with the delight he feels. 

You cheer for him when he passes the ball between his legs, without paying it much effort. You didn't know he was this good, as he never mentioned his interest in it, but seeing it with your bare eyes rather than just mentioning is way better. Well, little did he know you haven't shared the same interest with him. 

''Okay Jordan, pass me the ball,'' you wave your hand, directing him where to stand after he throws it. He giggles the name you call him, blessing your ears while waiting for you to make a shoot. 

It's only been a day, yet you feel like knowing him more than one day, way too comfy around him while talking, eating, or acting. You don't know if this is one of your dreams, where it affects your subconscious because all of the romantic movies you had watched too much in depression. Or simply, this man who makes you do stupid things like eating dozens of chicken wings is just a wizard. And you are affected by one of his spells, can't make proper decisions, and probably he isn't this good looking. It is all because of the spell he did. 

His eyes are not this bright, his cheeks are not that cute and tempting you to squeeze them. Or his lips are not that mesmerizing and you only want to taste them every time he smirks just because of the damn spell. You are old enough not to charm by a hair, yet all you want to do is bury your fingers in that velvety fuzz. 

''Are you gonna show me those shoots or too scared to move?'' his mouth twisted, pale skin peeking under his sweater and the coat he is wearing, glowing shamelessly. You nod, plastering a smile on your lips, can't get enough of his teasing. Even though you want to see his face after the shoot you are going to, retarding is more enjoyable. 

So when you throw the ball with a false effort, causing it to fall inches away from the hoop, you hear the squeaked laugh you never heard before. Apparently, it was too funny for him as he almost kneeled in front of you from laughing, holding his stomach while his shoulders shake. ''Well, we can say that wasn't the amazing one so far, huh?'' he teases while wiping his eyelids. You could offend by his actions if this isn't all an act, and in reality, he is the one who should laugh at. 

''Trying again? Okay, I can teach you the right way after that,'' you want to throw the ball to his head, his cockiness amazed you as you bite your lip to hold your laugh behind. The popular neurosurgeon was nowhere to be found when you eyed him. And you like the way he leaves the maturity aside, having fun with you and the time you two spend. You could easily say after spending enough time that he wasn't acting, the laugh that leaves his throat is real, as well as the shine in his eyes. Part of you doesn't want to wreck his mood or turn off the cocky light in his eyes but on the other hand, you desperately want to see his face after you stop acting and shoot a real basket. 

You bet the blonde prig won't be expecting you to take an oh so good shoot, and the cunning side of you wants to wipe that smile on his face. You want it so bad and can't help the way your body moves to the right corner, dividing your strength equally to your legs and arms before taking a shoot. With a light jump, you send the ball right into the basket, it takes two turns on the hoop before passing through it. It wasn't the best triple shoot, but you only played it in your free time with your family, yet you know that your body reveals that you played basketball very well. Much to his dismay, it was a perfect basket. You turn your head as you want to see his face, putting your hands on your waist and serving him a big grin. ''How about this one?'' the hint of your laughter can clearly be heard by him, not that you want to hide. 

He stares. 

And he stares for a long one minute, not talking nor giving you an idea with his expressions. After fixing your posture, your lips quirk in a pout, brows furrowed as you can't understand why he hasn't said anything or did. A knot sits on your stomach, you want to say something but your mouth goes dry with the uncertainty. While the deep silence takes over around you two, finally he shows a feeling on his face. 

A line appeared between his brows, a beam flash past in his eyes, and he started to walk over to you. 

Was he angry? Because you can throw a ball? Yes, you wanted some reaction, but anger wasn't the quite close expression you expect. With every step he takes, the hair on your body stands on end as you didn't know what to say. So you try to ease the nervousness you felt, ''Not so cocky after seeing this girl can play, huh?'' you mock, pointing yourself with your forefinger, wiggling your brows before he stands in front of you. 

Way... way too close. 

He stands so close that you could even see the little mole on the left side of his face, right beside his nose placed cutely on his cheek. The tiny whiteness on the same side of his lips, breaking the proportion but adding him another sweet flaw. You even pay attention to his facial line on the side of his nose, only to abstain from his eyes. Abstaining from capture by his lovely, velvety browns. And when he starts to speak, you can smell the chili sauces mixed with the beer he drank. 

''Can you wear my coat?'' with a mouth that slowly opens, you stare at him without blinking. He tilts his brows slightly, it was tiny and almost non-visible, but you catch the twitch on his jaw. 

''I'm sorry but, what?'' you baffled, obviously not expecting him asking that, and can not put it on logic. Under his bashful stare, you hear the sound when he takes a deep breath between his teeth. Cocking your head aside, you try to evaluate if you are cold or not, but you know that you haven't done anything for him to take as a hint that you are cold. Darting your eyes at him, your stomach flips over after realizing how good he looks under the slight street light that illuminated the court, the shadow of his eyelashes falling on his cheeks, mesmerizing with every blink. ''Y... you want me to wear your coat. And that's why? I'm not cold if this is what you think--'' 

''It's not. Not because you are cold,'' you watch him slipping his fingers on his hair, ruining the straight strands with a pout. Yoongi opens his mouth, but the weight of his words feels too much, he closes it again. He is thirty-five years old and should be mature enough to press this puberty feeling, and not want to cover you with his coat so no one can see the way your dress moves, expose the skin you covered with the same dress that betrayed you. And also, he knows he is not in the place to tell you what to do, or get jealous the way the others who size you up. But the first time after he gets mature enough, Yoongi can't find control over his emotions. ''I thought... thought that you could feel uncomfortable with the... dress,'' 

''Oh,'' you bite your bottom lip after getting caught off guard. Not that you are irritated or think it's possible, but is he just jealous, or is this just your mind playing games and causing you to think the impossible one? 

''But you don't have to. I mean if you are okay with your dress. You just don't... don't have to wear this.'' bubbles of laughter fills your throat as he stands stunned with wide eyes, 'o' shaped mouth is enough to melt your heart and spread heat to your chest. You bite harder your lip to hold your laugh, bend your head staring your shoes. ''Is it too distracting for you to beat me, Yoongi?'' darting over your eyes at him, you open them wide, rolling his name on your tongue only to tease him more. Getting even closer to his face, you talk in a pout. ''Do you think it's can affect others just the way it does to you?'' 

An almost unhearable whimper leaves his lips, shaky breath hits your cheek. A shade of embarrassment crept towards his cheekbones, increasing his cuteness. He stares speechless, you could only catch the loud gulp from his throat and you know it is enough of teasing him. 

''Okay, I'm admitting.'' taking a step back, you pat his shoulder. ''I'm a little cold, and it looks cozy.'' you lie while pinching his coat. His dull expression slowly fades, the corner of his lips tilt in the shape of a smile. Eye bags puffing up, face lines appear only to puss his soft cheeks on his cheekbones. 

You are not going to admit this to him, but the way your heart flinches under your chest, the way his soft smile cuts your breath, and the way your fingers physically pains to touch his cheeks just unbearable to hold on. At first, you only thought that his lips were in a good shape, can be even called cute but right now, they were just tempting. It was almost aching how your feet itch to take a step closer, and closer until your breaths can mix with each other, and the so imagined taste meets with your lips. 

''Here,'' he acts, taking his coat off of him swiftly to wrap it around you, and he does gently. Helping you to pass your arms in its sleeve, patting your shoulders after he links each button, as he looks way too pleased with the gummy smile that pinned to his face. ''Better now?'' he asks sincerely, wanting to make sure of your comfort, so you nod in appreciation. 

The heat immediately rushes over to your body, you thought you were joking before but after feeling the relaxation on your muscles, you surprise how cold you were. Wearing a dress in this weather without any coat was a big mistake, you noted. 

''So, if there is nothing you can object to, can we go on and play? Or, are you too scared?'' he scoffs at your playfulness, tilting a brow. Yoongi does not know how to react the way you wiggle your brows, the way you dare him with the buffoon smile. Luckily, he has another plan on his mind. ''So eager to taste the defeat, huh? All right then, I will give you a lesson.'' 

''Hah. Bring it on--''

''-But, before you get all moody, I want to do something.'' in return of his sparkling browns, your lips curl into a pout. Not expecting him to cut you off like this, even though he didn't do it without having any kindness. It only takes two seconds for you to realize what he was up to when his palms cover your cheek, timid touches of his fingertips on your skin. Is he going to kiss you in public? In your first time? Should you object? Between trying to ease the chaos on your mind, and understanding if you want this or not, hot breath already stands way too close to your lips. It was not a lie that you were thinking about kissing him a minute ago, but when this happened as a reality, you stand there like a deer in the headlights. 

Before you can choke yourself with overthinking, his whisper cuts it. ''Can I?'' he raises his brows, asking for your permission one more time before going for it, making sure of your emotions and thoughts about himself. Eyes of him scan yours pleadingly, as he was trying to emphasize his intentions. You were so nonplussed by what he was up to that you couldn't even move a muscle, only blink hard enough to capture the moment, face turning scarlet with the heat just crept towards. Feeling your heartbeats on your cheeks, under his fingertips. Every loud hammer brought your heart over your mouth, mouth dried completely. But you manage to voice, almost inaudible. 

''Please,'' 

When you met with his lips, it wasn't soft as you expected due to his dried lips, but soon after it changed. After you part your lips to capture his bottom lip between yours, a ball of warmness just explodes. Reaches till your fingertips from your chest, tiny mewl slides by you with the strong rhapsody you have inside. 

It was palm pulling, lips trying to deepen the kiss kind of keenness you both felt for learning, acknowledging each other. Soon after one of his hands left your cheek to pull you closer as your fingers weren't enough to do so. The others were long forgotten, it was just you and him. Everywhere was clouded, protecting your intimacy from others. 

You were only tasting, knowing, and capturing each other. 

When the kiss broke out as both of you needed fresh air in your burning lungs, you were shocked by the way you carried away by your desire. You, probably Yoongi too, was feeling the same way, find this very immature, unwisely but the thing you feel, and wish that he was feeling the same way you do was beyond your imagination. The attraction was between you from the first time you started to bond today, but you could never think that would be this euphoric. 

Between heavy breathing, and adjusting the moment you just shared cuts off by his hoarse voice. ''Was this highly good or is it just me?'' you snort at his silliness, slap him by the head before he can react. 

''You'll get your answer if you can beat me,'' tearing yourself apart, you take the ball despite his whines. But as he sees you won't step back, he sends hair-raising glares at you. 

Soon after, the contest loses its solemnity and turns into something where Yoongi chases you with the ball to throw at you. And you found yourself giggling, running away while screaming in tiny. With a glance at you two, and no one would believe you two for being over thirty but it felt so good to act without caring for anyone. You almost forget the feeling of happiness, cooing from joy, and having someone not minding your bullshits even on day one. 

Of course, you accept how the kiss felt 'highly good', holding your palms up in surrender, before laying on the grass. Not that you lost the game, more likely from winning the better prize. The blond neurosurgeon, at age thirty-five was your prize. To be honest, he is the best thing that happened to you in ages without any exaggeration. For all you know is that maybe arranged marriages were not that bad. 

Frankly, you wouldn't dare to lie and say you still object it while watching the man beside you. He gave you more than you expected. The comfort, happiness, and tickling bubbles on your chest. And you hope that would last long enough to the day you knew each other like an open book. As you wanted to know and more about him, every little detail, and every tiny mimic he makes. 

And you will see that day if you are lucky enough.

''We are out of rice!'' you flinch with the loud voice, take a big sigh at the view you see in the mirror. Lipstick extends along to your right cheek from your lips, as the outcome of hearing the thick voice without any warnings. ''And the last toilet paper just finished!'' tsking audibly, you take the wet tissue to clean the mess you made. While wiping the ruins of the lipstick, you hear the whining voice once more, closer this time. 

''We don't have any toothpaste, either. God, why don't we have anything? Aren't you supposed to take care of the grocery this time? It was your turn,'' the man is nothing but in black sweatpants and a white shirt appears, constant grumble on his mouth trying your patience. ''You have lipstick on your cheek,'' he points his face to address where the stain is as you lock your gaze on him by the mirror. 

''You don't say,'' lifting the brows you watch him narrowing his eyes, scoffing at your answer. ''And I was thinking why I have wet tissue on my hand. Thank you, babe.'' he rolls his eyes, sighs while ruining his hair. Black hair flies in the air, every pinch falling another direction and it warms your heart. Your husband dyed his hair black from blonde after having a white hair crisis and deciding to dye it for good. Not that you didn't like the blonde hair on him, but black was something different. It gave destructive charisma to him that you adore so much. 

It is the greatest thing since sliced bread. 

''When you say they'll bring Hoseong and Aera again?'' after finishing the cleaning, you turn to your husband who asks nonchalantly but the light in his eyes says he is happy. ''They'll be here any time soon. Why?'' 

He shrugs a shoulder, acting as he is not interested. ''Just curios. I'll adjust my appointments so,'' you nod, giggling as you decide to reach him. Leaving your bean bag chair, you take a two-step to wrap your arms around his neck. 

Brushing your nose to his, ''You love to hang out with them, don't you?'' you ask, mentioning your nephews. Even before he admits, you already knew that he adores them. Hoseong at nine and Aera at seven years old buck of happiness for Yoongi, and you can see it in his eyes. The way he plays with them, caring for them always puts a light serene in your heart, but you two never mentioned having a child. Soon after you are scared to open it as you are afraid that he doesn't want to have kids, but the love he had for your nephews always confused your mind and heart. 

''Well, they are fun to hang out,'' he tears his eyes from you but you catch the attempt to hide the smile he had. Lips forcefully stay flat but gaze full of bubbles. But when you tilt your brows, staring at him with a pout, you break him. ''Okay, okay... I love those chubby kiddos. You know how smart they are, don't you? Aera asked my opinion about Pluto, whether it's a planet or not. Can you believe it?'' 

''You are so whipped,'' you let out a laugh that wrinkles your eyelids. His enthusiasm over your nephews made your day, a bolt of laughter spilled by your lips over and over again until you managed to ease it. ''such a cute man,'' wiping your tears away from your face cut by his hands when he grabbed yours. 

''Y/N, did you... did you ever think about having a child? I know we never talked about this all these years, but I guess... No, I know I want one. Yes, I want us to have a child to raise together.'' his eyes burned with determination. It was enough for you to know he really serious about it. There was nothing for you to obligate it if you look. Both of you get paid well, had a nice home and big enough even for two kids, moreover, both of you love each other so much and you know that you two will love the exact same way if you have a child in this home. ''What do you think?'' 

Taking a deep breath to ease your thoughts you eyed the man you adored so much. His keenness sparkled in his eyes, waiting for your answer to be the happiest man alive. Even if you wouldn't want a kid in your life, you couldn't break his heart by saying no, but fortunately, you want this as much as him. 

''I would love to have a baby who has the same gummy smile you got on there,'' Yoongi, your husband coos after what you said, holding you by the waist and twirls your body with himself. He acts like you just said you are pregnant, but you laugh and kiss him back when his soft one finds your lips. He thanks, swears that he will be the greatest dad and husband for this family. 

The ring on the door cuts his words, tearing himself apart from you, he leaves to open the door wiggling his body in great joy. But you believe him. You would believe him even if he hadn't sworn and put his heart on it. He already was the best husband ever, and you had nothing to worry, frighten for. He will be the best dad in this world, as you know because he said so. Just like the time, he said you two will make a good couple after he took you home on your first date. As he said, you took his heart and his last name after four years. 

Never regretting for one second on agreeing to go on an arranged date. And you knew that you won't have any other regret in the future, either. Not with the sweetest neurosurgeon you love so much.