#i could probably give you a dissertation on this lol

[igbylicious]

DOM / SUB ATEEZ HARD THOUGHTS

@wooyoungisbaby Isak asked abt dom / sub thoughts for the guys, and my rambling got out of hand. as it always does lol. self-control? we don’t know her

(ik you suggested to do this for the whiway au but! then i wouldn’t be able to talk abt sub Yunho :( & i can’t not talk abt sub Yunho :((( so these are just general thoughts abt the guys hehe~ ฅV●ᴥ●Vฅ)

sooooooo i am a huge switch-teez enthusiast; and this is essentially a bullet-point dissertation w/ a selection of d/s thoughts for each of the guys that make me go particularly 👀 they’re not meant to be speculation abt the guys’ preferences, just things that are very easy for me to imagine & that i think would be very very hot of them (｡◝‿◜｡)

warnings: dom / sub themes obv. also mentions of; penetrative sex, overstimulation, oral, ass eating, mommy kink, lingerie (on Hwa), riding crop, strap-on, DP in unspecified holes, dacryphilia, shibari / bondage, premature ejaculation, hair-pulling, drooling, sadism, corruption kink, brat taming, sugar daddy vibes, jewelry on reader, hand kink, implied choking, fingering (again unspecified holes), edging, puppy play, role play (including cnc for Yunho but no in-depth details), cockwarming, marking / bruises, blindfolds, pain kink, praise kink, dry humping, degradation kink, orgasm denial, dirty talk, biting, hair pulling, face sitting

a/n: gender neutral reader. genitalia are mentioned once w/ options. implied double anal penetration in absence of a puss, implied pegging in absence of a cock. there is a brief mention that reader could wear heels if they wanted for a scenario.

also my Yunho bias shows hard x_x i tried to keep the lengths under control but i just let myself go for his and i shall not apologise for it asdskjdasjk

⩥ SEONGHWA

Dom:

whether he is soft & gentle or hard & mean, Seonghwa is always elegant

even with sweat dripping off his nose from the exertion of fucking into you, even with his lower face covered in slick from eating pussy or cum dribbling down his chin from sucking dick, he is the most graceful dom to ever walk this earth

his long tongue is a blessing but his technique and dedication are divinity

you WILL get overstimulated

yes i have the mommy Seonghwa brainrot. yes i like imagining him in lingerie and a corset and make-up and heels while he’s in utter and complete control

to finish the look; riding crop??? riding crop.

also idk why but the thought of Hwa with a strap-on makes me so fucking dizzy. this man fucking you w/ two cocks at once

his strap would be so sleek and elegant too just like him

matches his favourite lingerie probably; Hwa is dedicated to the aesthetics

speaking of aesthetics; shibari (that’s it that’s the tweet)

saccharine sweet if you earn it

Sub:

fucking pathetic sloppy mess as a sub

listen i just really love the hc that Seonghwa is super sensitive and might cum prematurely asdskjasdjkdaskj

will prob cum from just being manhandled into giving head if he can get even just a lil friction going somewhere 👀 as a sub he likes to get sloppy, loves having his hair pulled

(ass, cock or pussy, this man gets drunk on it)

like if you want to do a long scene together; it’s so easy to just get a quick orgasm out of him and then have a real fucking hyper-sensitive Seonghwa at your disposal for the remainder of the night uwu

tie him up for maximum effect

cries so easily 🥺

can’t hide a thing, every ounce of pleasure shows on his face like an open book

hiccups and sobs and bite-swollen lips bc he keeps gnawing at his bottom lip, so so easily overwhelmed

…again; lingerie. put him in thigh-highs and knead at the soft flesh and cover those thighs all over w/ bites and hickeys

⩥ HONGJOONG

Dom:

listen…………we all know that grin………………………………………

what kind of world do we live in if our captain is not at least a tiny bit of a sadist??

lives to hear you beg

degradation as praise? praise as degradation? the line between being praised and being demeaned is soooo fucking razor-thin w/ this man

100% on purpose he likes it when you can’t tell for sure

(tho he is super cognisant of your state of mind. if he sees the doubt is genuinely getting to you, you’re getting a dose of pure unmistakable praise to settle you down)

he’ll happily tame a brat but he looooves ruining a sub who is already pliant for him. just to be mean.

i’m all aboard the Hongjoong corruption kink agenda

not even necessarily in a ‘you are inexperienced’ way (tho he can work w/ that 👀)

but watching you go from all immaculate and put-together to a depraved begging mess

yep

that does it for him

likes giving you jewelry to wear during sex. delicate body-chains and pretty necklaces that bounce when he fucks you. lowkey sugar daddy vibes; he loves seeing you decked out, but he esp loves seeing you decked out in things he bought you

Sub:

so while i love the image of Hongjoong offering himself up on a silver platter to you w/ a crooked grin; tbh i feel like he has potential to be a sub who outbrats even Wooyoung if he is In A Mood

the SASS on this man!!!

but once you break that snarky attitude? dear god the whines coming out of him ♨_♨

(listen do not be surprised if i use some variation of the word ‘whiny’ in every single sub section bc i know what i like and i am shameless abt it asdkjasdj)

noisy squirmy boi

on his elbows and knees, biting at the sheets as he gets fucked hard from behind, going slack-jawed and drooling on the bed as you wreck him into a stupor

fucked into complete physical exhaustion in the direct aftermath — but let him have a quick nap and his energy is like… he might still be tired but he’s also feeling so replenished? esp mentally

if he’s recently had a lot of on his mind then you might be treated to deep philosophical musings during the aftercare abt the world, the universe, life and everything

⩥ YUNHO

Dom:

i get pulled so hard into two directions w/ this man pls it’s not funny anymore i need HELP

he’s both the softest vanilla and the hardest freakiest dom out of the bunch to me, he's got my brain spinning

listen yall we all know how willingly Yunho indulges the fandom’s massive hard-on for his hands, imagine what he’ll do if he’s your partner ♨_♨

he gets off on how much you get off on having his hands around your neck

also unless i hallucinated that whole thing; Yunho has said he likes hearing atiny whine his name (sir?!?!?!?) so I'm gonna say he's a tease even when he's soft with you

takes you to the brink with those long fingers over and over again, pretends the edging is by accident

presses sweet kisses on your forehead or your tummy or your thighs as he laughs softly at your whining but points out he needs to get you prepped first for what he's packing; he just doesn't want to hurt you uwu

whether it is sincere sweetness or w/ an edge of mocking, depends entirely on his mood

(fake sweet Yunho my beloved ;;)

you're not fooled by his shenanigans but there's little you can do except gasp and squirm under him as his fingers press against your sweet spot again

still he’ll praise you every step of the way, and the payoff is more than worth it, he always makes sure of that

ok so the next thing isn’t really a dom / sub thing but it’s going somewhere that is, pls hear me out;

Yunho is totally up for some playful rp; he’ll do cheesy porn set-ups w/ you except he cannot keep a straight face through them to save his life lol. very lighthearted silly giggly sex that still makes your toes curl

he can keep a straight face through a very different type of role play; cnc

it’s not uncommon for Yunho to try and make you laugh during sex if a moment presents itself — but here he fully sinks into the role and there won’t be any light-heartedness until the aftercare,

and then you’ll be giggling twice as much as usual, once the timing is right ;;

the aftercare giggles are for Yunho’s benefit too; he needs to make and see you smile & laugh to feel like he’s fully come back into himself. to regain the right emotional equilibrium after taking on such an intense role

then he’s your sweet smiley golden retriever again ;;

might just fuck you again if you both have the energy, sweet and soft and slow this time ♡

Sub:

OKAY SO FIRST THINGS FIRST i gotta bring up that video in which Seonghwa and Wooyoung wear heels for a shoot and they joke around abt their heights — but then Yunho turns to the camera and whispers he’d like to be small; bc he’d be cute!!!

he’s always been pocket-sized in spirit to me so that had me by the throat asdkjasdkjd

so yeah i like to think he enjoys feeling small as a sub! not in a demeaning way, not even in a physical way necessarily!

(tho to be down on his knees in front of a dom who is either pretty tall or wearing heels (or both) does make him feel fantastically fuzzy)

no, it’s more like a cute lil pup who’s getting spoiled bc he’s a good boy uwu

(actual petplay optional~ ฅV●ᴥ●Vฅ)

love a sub Yunho who’s soft and well-behaved

and he wants to be! he wants to be a good boy and get pampered by his dom!! but sometimes his big golden retriever energy gets the better of him oop

(the video clip of a literal child scolding Yunho because “this hyung just won’t listen to me” lives in my head rent-free.)

and Yunho just can't always fight his brain when it sends him a fun impulse askdjdaskjsd

but it only takes gentle steering to get him back on track; like i said, he wants to be well-behaved for you 🥺

ok but to circle back to the puppy play

Yunho who loves being your good boy and is so playful and sweet — but he obediently lets you take your time to work him up and get him desperate

big brown eyes shimmering at you as you scratch him behind the ears while stroking his big hard cock

begging you to let him fuck you, to just let him inside you

so you sit in his lap and cockwarm him but you can tell it’s not enough, gets teary-eyed and he bites his lip to stop himself from whining bc you’re already giving him so much and he wants to be good

so you have mercy on him and let him fuck you from behind — if he makes you cum first

now there’s a demand Yunho can work with

usually he’s a hands-on guy but in puppy mode he prefers using his mouth and tongue. so he’s snugly between your thighs, getting himself messy. constant eye-contact as he peeks up at you, massaging your thighs and maybe even leaving a bite if he’s feeling cheeky — but he knows better than to tease too much

he is so far gone by the time he’s finally allowed to fuck you that he can’t do anything but mindlessly rut until he cums hard, gasping and shaking

still he makes sure not to collapse on top of you, instead slides off to the side and pulls you into his arms for a snuggle 🥺

(see Isak i wasn’t kidding abt whipping up a 1k essay just for Yunho alone! lol oop)

⩥ YEOSANG

Dom:

so tbh it’s much easier for me to picture Yeosang as a sub, but i do have this very specific idea for him that i can’t get out of my head of like

curiosity-driven dom Yeosang

maybe he was a lil shy at first, cautiously exploring your body and testing your reactions, but his eyes just lit up with intrigue when you let out a loud moan he didn't expect

that moment kick-starts it all, with him becoming bolder and bolder to seek out any other responses to his touch

do you moan when he kisses you here? do you gasp at a bite there? squirm when he pinches here?

and he never grows satisfied as he maps out your responses to pleasure — and pain, if you are so inclined

like

Yeosang stumbles into the whole pain play thing purely by accident but it’s barely even abt the sadism for him? if that makes sense?? it’s all about you and your arousal and the wide range of pleasure he can draw from you

he just wants to know

there’s always this sense of wonder abt him and his sparkling eyes when he’s playing w/ you

he probably gets even more experimental as time passes, actively on the look-out for new things he can try out

you’ll just be having a quiet evening and Yeosang comes up to you w/ that adorable small smile that on a surface level is full of innocence

but no he’s cutely excited to show you some obscure toy he found online and wants to know if you’re onboard ^^

Sub:

so vocal (っ˘ڡ˘ς)

shy but has a reeeaaaally hard time holding himself back if he’s overwhelmed

seriously so so noisy w/ lil whimpers and moans and quiet hitches of his breath. takes a bit for him to truly get loud, but dear god you’re still treated to a goddamn symphonic masterpiece of delectable noises

speaking of getting him loud 👀

if Yeosang trusts you but there’s some last remnant of shyness that he needs to shake off

he loves getting blindfolded

not seeing anything makes it easier for him to get lost in the pleasure; if nothing else exists in the world except you and your touch, he has nothing to be self-conscious of

that’s where he can get loud

can’t sit or lay still if you’re worshiping that gorgeous body or giving head; you’re gonna have to hold him down to stop his fidgety squirming uwu

gets flushed easily too

bruises like a peach and tho he gets shy abt marks in visible places, he lowkey loves it when you treat his chest like a blank canvas

pls gently brush his hair back & give his birth mark a lil peck during the aftercare okay? 🥺

⩥ SAN

Dom:

is it cheeky to say “just read whichever way”? it is?? okay alright lol

no but okay this man is dripping w/ care & devotion i want him SIMPING!!!

he LIVES for the praise and the validation, all it takes is a lil bit of encouragement and positive enforcement; and he may be the dom but you’ve still got him wrapped around your finger

while he can be the softest of soft service doms, it doesn’t take much to get San a lil rougher w/ you; he gets amped up easily and loves using his strength to your advantage

but you want him to be a mean dom? you can get him there but you’ll have to WORK for it by riling him the fuck up w/ some attitude bc this man’s natural instincts are to just please you all through the night (´︶｀)

San also loves to surprise-pin you against the wall. there’s just smth abt the spontaneity and passion of the moment that gets him going hard

depending on his mood he could either fuck you right then and there, or ravish you only to pull away w/ a smug, self-satisfied grin at how wrecked you are from just making out and a bit of dry-humping

(he’ll be back. San is too horned up to not finish the job)

Sub:

MAKE! HIM!! WHIMPER!!! AND CRY!!!!!!!

no but seriously a flushed Sannie pouting up at you when you deny him again 🥺

just the thought of him as like

a very very soft sub who yearns to get fucking wrecked by you 🥺

make him whine and writhe until he can’t handle it anymore and tears begin to streak down his cheeks

body worship melts this man into a fucking puddle and yes i am also talking abt tittie appreciation here

he always wants to be so strong and reliable for others but here in your care is where he can let all of that go 🥺 and just break down until you put him together again 🥺

SO MUCH CUDDLING IN THE AFTERCARE

YOU COULDN’T GET OUT OF HIS ARMS IF YOU TRIED

PLS DON’T TRY; JUST LOVINGLY STROKE HIS HAIR AND WHISPER SWEET PRAISES AT HIM 🥺🥺🥺

⩥ MINGI

Dom:

okay so i also get pulled so hard into two very different directions when it comes to dom Mingi askjasdjkdsa

one is Mingi the needy mess

like

maybe he doesn’t even mean to dom you but he’s so desperate for it he just can’t wait and ends up overwhelming you and it’s lowkey kinda clumsy but very sweet and oh god he just wants you so so bad 🥺

BUT THEN THERE IS

Mingi w/ his damn cocky on-stage energy?? and he’s intense and confident and knows what he wants??? (you, ruined)

like idk either way i have many feelings abt dom Mingi being super intense and he will overwhelm you either way, either by accident or by design

just strap in tight bc he wants to hear you ♨_♨

very vocal himself too. i like the thought of him spewing filth at you first but very quickly losing the capacity for any coherent dirty talk

still

you will hear him too OOF

high & whiny or low & raspy? y e s

Sub:

PRINCESS MINGIIIIIII!!!! (♡°▽°♡)

spoil him give him whatever the hell his heart desires!!!!!! again a NOISY MESS!!! tears up easily but doesn’t like to admit he’s crying uwu

gets even more discombobulated than as a dom hehe~

however

much like his buddy Yunho, i don't think Mingi often deliberately tries to misbehave

but he can get a bit sulky sometimes if he feels neglected

or, on the other side of the spectrum, just a touch too confident if he’s gotten too used to you giving him exactly what he wants and starts treating it as a given, or makes lil jokes abt it

it edges against that cockiness again but tbh it’s also lowkey endearing on him as a sub; his blind faith in your devotion to his pleasure

but you may choose to give him a lil reminder of who is actually in charge ♡ denying him a few times until he’s whining and babbling incoherently at you should do the trick perfectly ♡♡♡

don’t be too mean abt it tho :( remember he’s a princess :(((

⩥ WOOYOUNG

Dom:

OKAY SO YES ISAK I’M FULLY W/ YOU ON THE BRAT THING

like i said truly my favourite flavour of dom Wooyoung is a fucking tease of a menace who isn’t so much a dom as a brat who hasn’t been tamed yet

if he’s domming you and you’re in the mood to turn the tables? this man’s switch is flipped in an INSTANT you just gotta yank his hair hard and spew out some filthy degradation and he’s putty in your hands

brace yourself if he’s got you tied up tho lol. he is gonna enjoy himself :3

honestly he should change his home-address bc this man lives w/ his face between your thighs. gets so fucking drunk on you but never so much that he ever stops his teasing

a true edging enthusiast

hope you like bite-marks on your skin lol

and yet…

and yet i have a big soft spot for soft dom Woo too 🥺

who takes care of you after you’ve had a long, frustrating day 🥺

i feel like he could bigtime spoil and pamper his partners if he feels they really need it 🥺 he might still tease you a lil but it’s only to get you out of your head, maybe even just to make you laugh 🥺

Sub:

love a sub Wooyoung who balances a praise and a degradation kink like he’s walking a tightrope uwu

like we all talk abt his degradation kink bc of course we do!! with good reason!!! but have you seen his giggles and smiles when the other members compliment him???

sometimes he doesn’t even know himself what he’s in the mood for today — or so he tells himself. any bratty urges will make themselves known real damn obvious within mere seconds lol

instigator to the max

initiates phone sex w/ you and then hangs up on you just before it Gets Good just to rile you up (this may be a semi-spoiler 👀)

but he loves the combo special where he brats out to his heart’s content first, gets humiliated and/or punished for his trouble, but oh boy then his mood turns and he eats it UP to get praised for being such a good boy now (´꒳`∗)

will beg you to ride his face

(he’ll have you riding his face as a dom too, he just won’t be begging 👀)

⩥ JONGHO

Dom:

so i actually love love love gentle soft dom Jongho 🥺 but i decided to focus on the flip side for this post

hard dom Jongho who has a mean streak and looooooves to tease the fuck out of you. he doesn’t even need to verbally degrade you (tho he might); you hear his cocky chuckle and know exactly what a pathetic mess he thinks you are for him

but gets soft and SUPER ADORABLE in the aftercare??? just imagine this man fucking you within an inch of your life and then he cleans you up after

and gives you that sweet gummy smile while he’s literally wiping his cum off your body w/ a warm cloth???

giggles when you exhaustedly call him a menace or praise him?????

god i just perished

he loves playing it nonchalant too tho. having you between his legs sucking him off, looking down at your teary eyes and swollen lips bobbing up and down his fat cock like he dgaf

don’t let him fool you — watch for how tightly his hands are clenched into fists

Sub:

just wanna spoil & baby him :( def feel Jongho has to be ‘in the mood’ to sub, but then pls just be so soft with him and take care of him and make him feel good :(

he’d generally be a very soft, well-behaved sub;

he feels that if subbing is the role he’s taking on, then submissiveness is the role he’s taking on, youknow it’s almost matter-of-factly for him

THAT BEING SAID; Jongho is still Jongho and won’t keep his mouth shut if he feels you’re doing or saying smth that deserves to be teased abt or made fun of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

your response needs to be a lil calculated;

he doesn’t really enjoy being outright punished or treated as a brat too much. prob feels it’s undignified lol

…unless he’s already super far gone 👀

so the secret here is to pretend you’re letting his teasing slide — until he’s at the fucking brink and then he’ll accept you laying on a lil bit of punishment as payback 👀

he’s not super loud in bed but you’ll get the prettiest lil breathy gasps and moans out of him asjksdjkdsajkdajs

[iknowshocker]

Anon from the last question here 🙋‍♀️ LOVED your answer and love a good Kai psychoanalysis 🙌

You mentioned it’s hc that 1994 Kai is virgin!kai, which got me thinking… did he ever really have any romantic or physical experiences? (Legacies Kai never happened in my mind 🥲)

And kind of on the same note, what do you think life was like for him when he was 18-22? It’s hc for me that he was homeschooled, but we don’t really know anything from the time he turned 18 until he was sent to a prison world

omg hi!! thank you for the question i've been having so much fun answering! i should have made a place to talk about my boy sooner, i could yap about him all day 😂

(oh man legacies kai my deeply insane beloved) he's really cracked out in those episodes but there are a few little moments where he feels like himself that i hold onto lol i just wish they hadn't put in his fling with the immortal teenager like he was 👉🏼👈🏼 close to being the only man to make it out of the TVDu without an inappropriate relationship i know there's an age gap with bonnie but it's simply not the same imo

okay here we go 18-22 kai:

so i assume, in the most affectionate way possible, that he gave off major JD from the heathers vibes. (the black cargo pants with the heavy ass combat boots?? he's a scary boy and he knows it lmao)

that age of young adulthood is such a volatile time, but for kai his resentments are growing, it's getting closer and closer to the merge, and if he can just wait it out a little longer everything is finally going to change. so lots of pent up energy, studying like crazy, in general running himself into the ground to insure everything goes the way he desperately needs it to. this also explains why he built up to such a violent snap. it's the one thing he's been holding on to, he was literally born for it, and then they still take it away.

those stupid christmas sweater photos make me think that everyone was living at home up until may 10th. unlike liv/luke i think joshua kept jo/kai close because he felt he needed to watch kai. i've always found it interesting that Jo goes into the medical field but Kai has the anatomy knowledge to cut out her spleen correctly lmao i hc they both had an interest in medicine, with him looking for a cure probably and jo maybe helping him at least at first. crazy to think that they probably would have still become a dr regardless of which one of them won the og merge!

anyway yes i think they were stuck living at home, with kai basically being held hostage and Jo being forced into a caretaker role since their mother died giving birth to the baby twins. (that's not like fully confirmed but the timeline works out so to me it's basically canon lol)

i mentioned kai having PTSD centered on touch and i think that would make any sort of social stuff hard for him. he's been taught to think he's dangerous and he's not been given any tools to keep from being that way. i hc most of his knowledge of his power came from trial and error, because joshua was like "alright no magic for you keep that in check demon spawn" from the time it manifested. (listen i could write dissertations on how despicable it is that they KNEW about gemini siphons and just refused to find ways to help him) that sort of fear/mistrust over his own abilities starting at such a young age would be totally crippling.

i read a fic once where he sleep siphoned Jo when they were young and nearly killed her during a nightmare. i could absolutely see things like that happening, and it leaving him terrified to do it again. but then his sociopathy developing would give him the ability to lash out without worrying about the guilt of his actions. but just because he doesn't let himself feel guilty doesn't mean he doesn't know what he did was wrong. i can imagine it would be so conflicting to need magic to work/feel normal but the only way to get it is to hurt the only people around you day to day. just a nightmare all around.

(have you seen the deleted scene with Jo/Kai? because that monologue from him lives rent free in my mind. the panicked breathing, the sad eyes, the desperation in his tone !! i just can't handle it lmao they 100% cut it because leaving it in and still killing him would have caused riots in the streets)

being homeschooled would limit the entire family's outside interactions, but i imagine they usually left kai at the house when they went out to the shops/coven gatherings/general outings. he does have basic people skills when we meet him so it's not like he's 100% ostracized but i do think a lot of his personality is him mimicking things he's seen in movies/mirroring the people around him in a given moment. he's faking it based off of what he thinks would be correct and when he gets it wrong you can see him deflate.

if he was allowed to go out growing up, i think he probably stuck to Jo and let her do the talking. so when she started pulling away from him too and he didn't have a buffer, it was probably easier to just stay home instead of risking it on his own.

i'm a person who hears his version of "they isolated me" and Jos "our parents saw him pulling away, isolating himself" and lands somewhere in the middle. i think they had rules over him not touching anyone/made it very clear he couldn't be trusted and that left kai feeling like "okay well f you guys i'll just go back to my room" it was just easier for him to go ahead and leave instead of let them bully him into leaving.

like he's the oldest, but do we think the other siblings listened to him ?? nah, man, there's simply no way. by the time they reached 22, no one in the house but liv/luke showed much interest in him. and he had to know that the older they got, they'd grow to believe joshua/fear him too. that had to be freaking exhausting, not to mention hurtful as hell.

(i mean... "When your family decides that you are nothing but an irredeemable piece of trash, well…I guess the best thing to do is prove them right, right?” like by the time we get to the red wedding, they broke him. there's no more second chances or trying again or believing they'll change. he's done. but he had to get pushed to that point and i think it was building his entire life.)

i hc as the oldest Jo/Kai shared a car, but to be so honest i always assumed he taught himself how to drive (fast lol) in the prison world. i would love to believe they snuck out to concerts together or had little adventures growing up but i think Jo turned on him somewhere around the time she realized she wasn't going to be allowed to go off to college. she would have had her own resentments around being stuck with him because of him, and so i don't see them having much of a relationship past the age of like 16.

to circle back to romantic relationships, i just don't think kai ever had an opportunity to be close enough to anyone for anything to happen romantically or even platonically pre prison world.

that's why bonnie showing up is such a big deal. she's this beautiful, funny, smart witch and she's just suddenly !! in his world !! the fact that he can't help getting close to her means everything to me. there's something about her/her magic that just tugs him in. "yeah but i wanted to feel your hand on my chest" come ON once you know the implications of that statement how do people not melt. babes is so touch starved he's dying for anyyyyoneeee to love on him.

bonkai sidenote: im a firm believer that grams was playing matchmaker. i hc she knew kai growing up and tried to help him when she could, which is why they went the prison world route instead of simply getting rid of him. without a bennett to bind the spell it wouldn't have been possible, so she agreed to keep something else from happening to him. she literally tells bonnie she gave up her peace so that bonnie could find hers, knowing 100% she was sending her to a world where kai was waiting/he couldn't be killed/and they would have to work together to escape. even more than that, damon wasn't supposed to go !!! so grams knew they'd be alone and either assumed bonnie could handle him or believed there was enough good in kai that it wouldn't go badly for bonnie or both lol we know from the jump that grams adores bonnie, there's not a chance in hell she would have sent her there if she thought for a second kai would hurt her. i just don't think she realized how sick he would become on his own, and adding damon into the mix changes the dynamics because kai is trying to come off stronger than he is.

yikes sorry i dont know how to discuss him without discussing bonnie 🙈

again thank you for your ask!!

[kopfkino-o]

In Defense of Azriel: A Dissertation, Part One

One thing I see a lot within this fandom is the suggestion that Azriel, somehow, feels entitled to Elain, that he is some raging incel or some torture-loving freak or a white knight only interested in pursuing unattainable women, etc etc. And I am just not okay with that.

Azriel is SUCH a nuanced character and the fact so many people fail to see the context of his personality, his role within the narrative, and the obvious themes SJM is using in regard to his character is just... baffling to me. Especially when he has the potential to be such a powerful male character with an important story that deserves to be told.

So here we go, I'm defending Azriel with my whole chest. This is obviously a pro-Azriel post with pro-Elriel undertones, so if that isn't your thing then SCROLL.

Thx love you all bye.

1) Azriel suffers greatly with his sense of self-worth, so much so he thinks he is deserving of nothing.

We learn first from Mor that Azriel thinks so little of himself, no doubt a direct symptom of his childhood, that he harbors a deep sense of unworthiness. So much so that even if he were a prince, even if the woman he loved (I question this, but that is a whole other post I'll save for later, so I digress) stripped naked before him he wouldn't feel worthy enough to act.

"The issue, actually, wouldn't be me. It'd be him. I could peel off my clothes right in front of him and he wouldn't move an inch. He might have defied and proved those Illyrian pricks wrong at every turn, but it wouldn't matter if Rhys makes him Prince of Velaris--he'll still see himself as a bastard-born nobody, and not good enough for anyone. Especially me." - Mor, ACOMAF, Chapter 52

I think this is a great line to turn to when trying to understand the value Az places on himself. Mor says it herself, she could strip naked for him and he would still see himself as undeserving, still see himself as someone who shouldn't be granted the chance to have her affection. If he feels his way with Mor, someone who he supposedly has loved for centuries (again, I question this lol), then I think it's fair to claim he probably sees himself this way with all women.

This feels like the furthest thing from entitlement to me.

We can also see this inclination towards self-loathing come up again in the ACOSF Az bonus chapter when he gifts the necklace to Elain for the first time.

"He knew it was wrong, but there he was, sliding the necklace around her. Letting his scarred fingers touch her immaculate skin." - Azriel, ACOSF, Bonus Chapter (1 of 2)

These thoughts don't come from him thinking that he and Elain are wrong for wanting to be together, that their shared moment of affection (both now and as hinted at by the "This was the furthest it had ever gone" line) is wrong, but rather from this innate feeling of unworthiness. Az sees himself as nothing (see point below) and cannot fathom why someone like Elain, lovely Elain who resembles hope and the sun at dawn, would ever stop and see him. Give him her time, her offer and permission, would ever call his scarred hands-- the physical reminder of his trauma--beautiful.

He thinks it's wrong because he believes someone like him could never deserve a woman like her.

"Until he felt nothing. Was again nothing at all." Azriel, ACOSF, Bonus Chapter (1 of 2).

LIKE COME ON. This man sees himself as nothing. The fact he spoke up regarding his thoughts on the Cauldron potentially being wrong to begin with was a big thing for him, he who has many secrets, and Rhys SHUT HIM DOWN. 500+ years and even Cassian states Az is slow to open up, see below:

"Cassian knew it was a lie, but didn't push it. Az would speak when he was ready, and Cassian would have better success convincing a mountain to move than getting Az to open up." - Cassian, ACOSF, Chapter Nineteen

Az did speak this time, he felt so strongly and questioned fate itself so fiercely that he opened up to Rhys. He questioned the Cauldron, the fatemaker itself, not because he is entitled to Elain, but because there is something between them, something that has been brewing between them ever since their first meeting, something so fierce he is (finally) compelled to open up, to speak because he was ready. Think about how important that is for a character like him. Azriel, whose brothers of 500+ years could move a mountain more easily than get him to open up, did in fact, open up...

And he was shot down.

Of course, he wasn't going to wax off a lecture about Rhys's suggestion being wrong--because it was Rhys, not Azriel, who suggested entitlement.

Rhys's face drained of color. " You believe you deserve to be her mate?"

Azriel never suggested anything like this. An overwhelmed, distraught Rhys who feared for his mate and unborn child did.

And Azriel shut down, just as he did when he first confessed his feelings to Mor, and immediately abandoned the conversation in favor of silence. Not because he was pissed, or felt he was wronged, but because he saw these moments as validation of his nothingness, proof he was nothing, would always be nothing.

2) "If I Fail, They Will Leave Me" Complex

One thing I think that is important about Azriel's character that is often overlooked is his liberation from his father's dungeon. He wasn't set free when his hands were burned, rather returned to his "dark, airless cell" where was forced to continue on, burned and broken, for three years.

Three bloody years.

It was only when/sometime after his shadowsinging gifts first emerged that he was granted freedom. If you can call it that. Not because he was a little boy who deserved freedom, but because he had magic: a tool of value, a weapon to be used.

And used it was.

We learn from Rhys that Shadowsingers are highly coveted...

"Shadowsingers are rare--coveted by courts and territories across the world for their stealth and predisposition to hear and feel things others can't." - Rhys, ACOMAF, Chapter 16

And that Az was sent to the camp only AFTER his gifts were discovered.

"Az's father sent him to our camp once he and his charming wife realized he was a shadowsinger." - Rhys, ACOMAF, Chapter 16

This all goes to say that Azriel's freedom was largely granted because of his magic. What would this say to a literal child? He was only valuable because of his magic, because of what he could do.

And this need to please, this need to serve, and the subsequent fear of failure are very prevalent within Az's character. He runs himself ragged, he brings too much onto his plate, he is so busy he doesn't sleep, he always volunteers to put himself into harm's way because he thinks that is all he has to offer. I suspect his time working as the personal spymaster for Rhys's father might also have contributed to these feelings, but I don't have enough info at current to delve any further into that.

Moving on, all this also goes to combat the "pro-torture" argument I sometimes see. Do I think Azriel loves slicing and dicing? No, not really. Same as Rhys doesn't like breaking into people's minds. I suspect Az sees his work in Hewn City as a similarly necessary evil, something he must do (rather than anyone else) because he is already "tainted", something he has to do to be worthy. Something he does because, regardless of how it makes him feel, provides value to his loved ones. I suspect Az probably feels if he were to stay no, if he were to refuse, then he would be deemed useless, unworthy, and abandoned as a result. Not that this would ever happen, but I think Az probably sees so little value in himself he thinks only his magic and skills are all he can provide his brothers. Not because they don't love and support him, but because years and years of trauma reinforce this idea.

It's really, really heartbreaking if you think about it.

Anywayssss, that's all I have in me for tonight, but I've got a few other points I will be adding to expand this post! I love (civil) fandom discourse, so feel free to drop in thoughts and opinions below.

Thanks for reading this behemoth!

[anghraine]

Even for me it's a petty nerdy complaint, but there's a thing where a bunch of historians were consulted to construct an image of what Darcy would look like at the actual time, and:

They went with a 1790s setting for P&P, which I strongly approve of. I think P&P very definitely shows its 1790s origins (iirc it was originally written in 1796-7), both in details and in the pretty stark contrast between the setting/atmosphere of the earlier and later Austen novels.

Buuuut while I am not a historian (and I have gripes with even literary historicism despite using it in my dissertation lol), I think it's a mistake to give him longish powdered hair. I have reasons!

See, I actually like the idea of pushing back on popular images of Darcy. I support this on general principle! But the de Bourgh-Darcy-Fitzwilliam family are pretty blatantly coded as Whigs IMO. And by the point that Austen was writing P&P, Pitt the Younger (well, Parliament, but ...) had recently instituted an unpopular tax on hair powder. Unless I'm totally misremembering, many Whigs of the Fitzwilliam type stopped using hair powder as a quick result (eventually, it would die out altogether, but that hadn't happened yet).

Now, it is possible for P&P to be set several years before it was written, which would place it before the powder tax and make that image of Darcy more likely. And you could argue for that based on some of the militia/Brighton stuff, but I think its setting is more of a loose "now" (when written) than assigned to a particular year, especially considering that only some of the dates can be reconciled to any single almanac year.

So I would place the beginning of the book at or after 1795, and if the Internet can be trusted in this respect, the Act was instituted in May of 1795, and would be months past by the time Darcy shows up in Meryton.

So in my personal opinion, Darcy would have worn hair powder when he was younger, sure! But by P&P? I don't think so. He's young, opinionated, and comes from an extended family pretty clearly referencing one of the most powerful Whig families of his time. He'd probably enjoy thumbing his nose at politicians he doesn't like or respect, lbr.

[inkedinshadows]

Hello lovely people! 🌸

(snippet of fanfic at the end)

Hi everyone! I'm not exactly new here, but I've never really posted anything before. I lurked in the dark, sometimes appearing in someone's comments, but mainly silently devouring fanfic for Azriel because I'm such a sucker for our shadowsinger 🖤

But now that I've got a lot of free time on my hands, I've decided to give a shot at writing something of my own and share it with anyone who'd be willing (and kind enough) to read it.

And while I work on the final scenes of my first fic, I thought it could be a nice idea if maybe I introduced myself a little a bit? I don't know, maybe no one really cares, but maybe someone does? So here it is.

🌸 I'm Italian, so forgive me if there are some mistakes or some weird stuff, but don't feel bad about calling me out on it so I can improve ✨️ it's my first time writing something other than an essay or dissertation in English after all

🌸 My name is Yennifer (not very Italian, I know), but you can call me Yen or Yenni. Whatever you like works tbh

🌸 I started writing when I was 10 and the first thing I ever wrote was a crossover for Harry Potter and Narnia, in which Peter and Ginny ended up together. I actually rewrote the whole thing at 13, then again at 15, and then I started writing a sequel. When I tell you I made that my whole personality for a few years, I mean it

🌸 I studied Foreign Languages and Literatures in university (and hopefully it helped with mastering English enough to use it for fanfics) and I recently graduated. I'm currently waiting and praying for my admission to the Master program

🌸 I've always wanted to be a writer, but since now I'm old enough (22 lol) to realize I'm not sure I've got what it takes to plan, write and finish (they tell me this is an important part of it) a whole ass book, my dream job is translator: reading, writing and languages all in one. What else could I possibly want?

🌸 My favorite authors are Jay Kristoff, TJ Klune and Jojo Moyes. If we stick to classics, I love Oscar Wilde and a few Italian dudes probably not many know

🌸 I love the color blue in all its shades, so I like to think it as fate that Azriel's color is cobalt 💙

🌸 I am OBSESSED with music. I can't live without it and I'm not even exaggerating. If I'm not listening to music, then there's still music playing in my mind and it never shuts up. Sometimes it can even be a bit frustrating. But whether it's real or just in my head, music is playing 24/7 around here

🌸 In case you couldn't tell, I particularly like this flower emoji. I just think it's really cute and a nice change from the usual lil red heart

Now, before I wrap this up, here's the little snippet I promised. Enjoy!

His shadows lunged forward as if they wanted to reassure her, but he held them back. He approached her slowly, stopping just in front of her. He crouched down next to her and waited for her to meet his eyes before speaking.

“Let me help,” he said, unable to hide his concern any longer. He wanted to erase that haunted look from her eyes and he’d do anything to make her feel safe and protected again.

“You’re not alone, Y/N,” he continued, his tone gentle. In his mind, he was cursing himself for not having thought that she might experience this kind of problem. “I could help you. We can do it at your pace and stop whenever you wish.”

She stared into his eyes and it felt like an eternity passed before she nodded. Relief flooded his chest at her trust, her willingness to finally let someone help her.

[...]

Tears were streaming down her face and she sobbed, drawing her legs close to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. She began to rock back and forth and maybe she was begging for it to stop, to never start, maybe she was screaming or calling out for someone, maybe she wasn’t saying anything at all.

As that dark freezing water closed over her and pulled her under, she knew the pain would come soon. And there was nothing she could do to stop it. She was drowning and there was nothing she could do, nothing she could do, nothing she could…

A tender, gentle touch on her cheek. From far away, someone called her name. And among the chaos, the darkness, the crippling fear, she saw a pair of hazel eyes, soft and yet concerned. A male voice assuring her that she was safe, that he was with her.

She wanted to believe that voice, but the water was pulling her under, cold and dark and terrifying. And yet that gentle voice was still talking to her, those hazel eyes still looking into hers, and she tried to hold on to them, to not let it all slip away.

And then someone took her hand and suddenly she felt something thumping beneath her palm. A heartbeat, she realized. Life.

Heartbeat meant life. Not death, not pain.

Life.

Alright, I really hope you liked this and that it sparked your curiosity just enough to stick around to read the whole thing. I'll post it in the next few days, I just have to write the end.

Whether you've read the whole post or just skipped to the snippet, thank you so much and hopefully I'll see you again! 💙🌸🙈

[samantitheos]

Weekly Tag Wednesday

Thanks for the tags @deedala and @jrooc. 🖤

Name: Sam.

Age: Older than Cam, younger than Noel.

First Pet? Buck, a black, long-haired cat who lived to be 23. 🐈‍⬛

First Word? I just tried to ask my parents...

First Celebrity Crush? So JTT seems like a common denominator among a bunch of us... Also Devon Sawa (I basically wore out the VHS of Wild America at my grandparents' house) and AJ from the Backstreet Boys.

First IRL Crush? Calin, my grade 4 "boyfriend." Also still randomly have dreams about him once in a while despite not having seen him in like 20+ years. What does it meeeean???

First kiss? This is so sad, but I actually don't remember. Probably one of my friends during Truth or Dare.

First Car? I spent my hard-earned cash working at A&W on this monstrosity my friends nicknamed "Hot Thunder." Smh. All I know is shame.

First apartment/house/dorm/whatever away from your parents? This tiny little house we rented that had bright orange 70s-era flower power wallpaper in one of the rooms. I'll spare you the picture, but nightmare inducing.

First time on a plane? Going to Cancun with my parents when I was 3.

First cellphone? Nokia 3310, I think. I just remember playing the snake game. 🐍

First concert? Rod Stewart. Thanks, mom. Lol.

First Foreign country you visited? Probably the US, but definitely Mexico when I was 3.

First sport you ever played? First team sport was softball, but I did a bunch of other shit even before that (ballet, swimming, figure skating). I was so athletic, I have no idea what happened lol.

First career aspiration? I went through a weird marine biology phase before I probably even understood what a biologist was.

And finally… tell me about the first time you wrote/drew/created/whatever something that made you think "wow": Feeling pride in my own work? Ew. But I guess my MA dissertation if only because it was 5 times as long as anything I had ever written before, and I didn't think I could do that.

Giving a little boopity boop to some homies. @gallapiech @lingy910y @krysmiss @mickittotheman @energievie @whaticameherefor @wehangout @callivich @camnoelgallavich @depressedstressedlemonzest @sam-loves-seb @sluttymickey

EDIT: My mom just texted to say she thinks "Buck" was my first word. 🥺🥺 But also that I couldn't always pronounce it right, so maybe my dad wasn't too far off with "fuck." 🤣

[thedoublepp]

I'm a bit of a homestuck newbie in regards to the fandom (read the series some times over though), so I'm just curious as someone who hasn't been here for long... what is the difference between brojohn and dirkjohn? Are they or not the same thing? I don't *think* it's referring to the middle-schooler John and whole adult Bro from the beginning of the homestuck comics based on what I'm picking up from the tag itself, but at the same time I'm just a bit confused. I like dirkjohn quite a lot because I think the characters and dynamics are neat, but it just intimidates me a bit when it flips to brojohn because of the implications of age and whatnot that the context of the comic gets me.

(also I just want to clarify that I'm not trying to *force* 'purity culture' onto you and tell you what to do or not do, I'm just prodding for the sake of my own curiosity and unfamiliarity on the subject)

thank you for your time, I'm a big fan of your art and have been lurking on your blog for a while dude, you're singlehandedly carrying the homestuck fandom in this era 😭

Ah yes the brojohn / dirkjohn conundrum

also don't sweat it anon, I didn't think you were coming for me with the purity guns a'drawn in this mainly because I have actual experience with people doing that very thing and this was very civil in comparison lol

Though, to answer your question, I would say there is a pretty weighty difference in appeal and practice when it comes to the 'Dirks."

See, Bro and Dirk are two wholly different characters and so I write/draw them as such. Also, I take massive liberties with Bro, ie I rarely ever write/draw him strictly from a beta-bro is this or that perspective. I make him into this fucking weirdo hermit genius that is absolute garbage at socializing and doesn't even pretend like he isn't into some real weird off the wall shit, this man could seriously not be bothered to give a single fuck about anything but his own life and the people in it. I'm interested in the way he interacts with other characters, in the soft human moments versus his overall Weird Hyper-sexual or idiotically indulgent pleasures.

That being said, I also really only have interest in brojohn as two consenting adults, mostly because that's where the highest possibilities for humor present themselves; just two dudes that are well aware of how shitty their individual personalities can be finding humor and affection and acceptance in the very specific brand of fun they prescribe to.

Two men that care deeply, but get caught up in how inattentive they can be. IDK man, I just think they'd have fun together.

That's all I've got for now, I'm sure given the time and energy I could probably make this a whole dissertation of a thing. Regardless, thanks for sticking around and for those kind words, I'm glad you're enjoying yourself!

[madsims4finds]

Me when they canceled life by you:

I just KNEW there was something fishy. I was happy for the delays cause the game just looked undercooked and so the cancellation…was a surprise, I’m not gonna lie lol. But once the initial shock wore off, I just shook my head. It’s giving they didn’t want to suffer through another launch like Cities Skylines 2.

I’ve said from the beginning that Life By You did not look good. It did not have any practical features that I could see that would make gameplay enjoyable. No family play, empty world, and whenever a “human” went to work at apparently the only place hiring in town, the grocery store, it was like 2 other “humans” there. I mean those gameplay videos they were doing just got hard to watch. The game just seemed like it would be dead on arrival. And then on top of all that, a company like Paradox is releasing early access. Red flags all around. I wrote a dissertation I’m sure no one read, but there were too many things that I could see Paralives doing right that Life By You was doing wrong. Something as simple as being creative enough to come up with a name for these digital people. We have Zoi’s, we have Paras, we have Sims, and Life by You had…humans? How lazy is that? I get that it’s a life simulation game but there should still be some form of lore. Something that the world is grounded in. Something unique and immediately recognizable that makes the game stand out. And Life by You never had that. Their whole gimmick was “mod the game” how you like. But like I said before it was more about being able to deeply customize your game, not mod it. At least from what we were seeing. They made such a big deal about custom dialogue, story creator, color wheels, tailoring your characters personality to the most minute detail, etc. But they forgot to develop the rest of the game. At least that’s what it sounds like to me.

Devs are saying they were blindsided, which they probably were. I don’t think the game should have been canceled out right, but I think paradox’s impatience (since apparently it would “take too long” for the game to be done) probably stems from their desperate need for a win. And they knew Life by You wasn’t going to give them that. They did a great job of hyping up the community, enlisting every popular sim tuber they could, and I’m sure they would have made some sales. But I’m also sure the backlash for the state of the game would have been bigger. I mean seriously, look at older videos of Paralives and where they are now. And then look at Life by You.

Still sad that they shut down the whole studio and all those hard working folks lost their jobs. That part sucks. They should at least have been given the chance to make the game better. Smh.

I hope we’re able to see the other two projects to completion. Cause at the end of the day, the goal is to make sure EA no longer has a monopoly on this genre. The goal is NOT paying over $1200 in DLC for a $40, oh excuse me, now free to play game. Also can we stop charging for a game only to offer it for free later? Cause they sure ain’t giving refunds when that shit happens. 😭😤

Anyway, I’m rooting for everyone who’s not EA to be successful in their endeavors.

[jackredfieldwasmyjacob]

hello everyone !!! as tumblr decided to send me to the shadow real for a month and i do have a tendency to overshere on here, i thought it would be fun to go through my last month to update my lore (the key things are that i now have no bedroom and i am obsessed with ana mena) through my tweets (i was forced to use that website more i'm afraid). and of course, i will translate everything so don't worry :)

hope you like it!!! this is probably gonna be long so i'll add everything under the cut:

we start at day 1 a.T. (after tumblr) which was a very important day actually (pokémon day for those who don't know)

they deactivated my tumblr account for no reason?

2. without tumblr, that day i was forced to go to twitch and see ibai's stream announcing the participants of la velada 3 (unfortunately this won't be my last twitch moment here i'm so sorry)

from left to right and top to bottom:

WHAT IS GOING ON (qrt to: this fight is gonna be legendary. amouranth vs mayichii)

they should kiss (this is about viruzz vs shelao, it is funnier with context sorry)

it's now a reality. this is gonna be insane @/fernanfloo

i think rivers will win (the second tweet it's for context: the second fight of la velada del año 3 is rivers vs la rivers)

3. spoiler alert: i was struggling with uni stuff (and especially administrative uni stuff) all month <3

(it is impossible to translate this tweet literally so bear with me)

it's unbelievable how much the people in the university of wales don't give a fuck

here's the fun little context for this one: i should've started my semester on february 1st. i had received no notice of enrolling in it, there was no way to do it on the page habilitated for it, and my master's director wasn't answering my mails concerning my dissertation proposal and supervisor or anything really. i sent the sorta student help thingie platform a mail on february 28th asking for guidance and they answered me an hour later telling me i could enroll. my master's director also emailed me telling me i had a supervisor now. lol. fun. great.

4. this will not be my only ana mena related tweet in this list i am afraid

(the quoted tweet is the singer ana mena as a little girl in a tv show and a sign that reads 'when she grows up she wants to be an archaeologist') she's made it cause the rest of the spanish musical industry is BONES besides her

5. i swear this is my last twitch moment i think. anyways. the squid games. yeah. it was very funny cause every person whose pov i decided to watch died <3

same order as before:

(the quoted tweet says 'i think i'll watch the squid games from pandarina's pov') tweets that aged up badly: [she died on the first day]

everyone whose pov i'm seeing today dies (ander and zeling) lol

oleeee susi hasn't died let's gooooo

today i won't be able to watch the squid games so i'm only saying @/suzyroxx to the final !!!! [she wasn't in the final <;3]

6. it starts *looks into the distance remembering the horrors*

FINALLY the predoctoral UCM [my uni] scholarships are here folks

and the meme says the same but more accurately <3

7. that time my 55 year old uncle out of nowhere sent me a tiktok of nochentera and told me he loved it

my uncle being a nochenterist exactly (in the pic he only says 'it's so good!!!')

8. there are so many horrors relating to that goddamn predoc scholarship that i don't even remember the context of this one &lt;3

official bulletin of the complutense university or bulletin of shit ??? [this one is funnier in spanish, it's a meme from a show]

9. i do remember this one tho. this was a fun one.

i suddenly have a new thesis director and a master's dissertation supervisor lol

context: this was the day that my master's director emailed me telling me i finally had a dissertation supervior assigned. the other part is funnier. SO. i had a thesis director chosen from when i started all this process. she was great. love you miriam mwah. anyways. she had another student doing the thesis with her (a student that is my friend). turns out, for the ucm predoc shit there could only be one thesis director per person. no fucking clue why. so we all talked it out and thought the best solution was for me to have another one, and maybe miriam could be my co-director in the future. the funny thing is, this new supervisor (cruz) was my first choice way back when i started thinking about doing the ph.d. i just chose miriam in the end cause she was my master's thesis' director. so yeah. i could've chosen cruz from the start and i wouldn't have had these many problems. but whatever.

10. MANDATORY MEMORIAS DE IDHÚN TWEET

plot twist in memorias de idhún the funky little guy is VICTORIA

(they're right btw)

11. the la casa de bernarda alba miami remake incident. this ruined my day, my week, my month and possibly my year as well. if you haven't seen this and feel strongly about federico garcía lorca please skip this one i don't want to ruin your day.

you know the drill:

i'm angry cause i can't go to tumblr and go off [literally it says 'shit on the mothers'] at everyone who thought and adaptation of la casa de bernarda alba IN MIAMI is coherent, logical and necessary.

you have to travel to 2023 to stop that aberration from happening [this one's for my emdt besties <3]

this one is already in english

the only modern adaptation of la casa de bernarda alba i will accept [this day i also realised that episode really is an adaptation of la casa de bernarda alba which made me love paquita salas even more]

lorca reading this

and this one's also in english :)

12. oh btw i rewatched druck s5 and s6 just to feel something. wasn't brave enough to watch s7 & s8 tho &lt;3

[first pic]

the machwitz sisters from druck are the best fictional sisters that exist i don't fucking care if you don't agree

and yes i cried again with them

[pic 2]

the thing about rewatching druck's s5 is that now i want to rewatch druck's s1-4 only because of kiki

literally the best minutt for minutt of all skam i could scream

[pic 3]

possibly my favourite fictional ship above... yes... percabeth

there, i said it

i am once again stanning kieutou i'm so sorry

i was gonna start season 6 tomorrow but it happened

i don't know if i should watch s7 and s8 to be able to say i've watched all druck even if i know they're shitty [spoiler: i didn't do that]

13. maybe i went through a mini-skam craze last month.

people of twitter, it is a pleasure to announce that i have included references to skam in my book [specifically that moment at the end of sana's season when everything with the girls is resolved and she sent a message to yousef to meet up but he isn't answering]

14. i thought this meme was extremely funny and made for me specifically

just in case you don't know; pic 1 is the academy of OT [Operación Triunfo], pic 2 is the geography and history building of the UCM (mini spoiler i went there later in the month), pic 3 is the school entrance in skam, and pic 4 is the pool in druck s3.

15. they interviewed my sister !!!!

here's the link (in spanish) <3

fun fact i found out about this when my mum sent it to the groupchat. my sister and i do live in the same house and speak to each other daily :) they just didn't tell me :)

16. :(

another day missing tumblr

17. i watched a ton of national selections but i only really tweeted portugal's so yeah

i'll go chronologically with these ones so it's less confusing lol

please let nasci maria win it's the only song out of all preselections that i've had stuck in my head

a pretty good top 3 tbh, any of those songs deserves to win

it should be said that i've seen a ton of preselections this year and i've only saved two songs from portugal's preselection in spotify.

well i lied. i think there's also one or two songs from sanremo. but whatever

18. i did this cool pokémon chart which made me realise my favourite pokémon type is steel actually

i've seen fola do this on stream and i wanted to do it myself :)

what do you think people do i have taste or not

here's the chart if you want to take a closer look at it!

19. this was around the time i really started to resonate with carlos peguer's tweets. i think he's the closest thing to a spanish mike's mic so we have to cherish and celebrate him i think.

i felt these tweets about amaia's music on a spiritual level. he was so right.

she really was insane for this

the moon reflects on my BITTEN NAILS [this are the opening lyrics of nuevo verano PLEASE listen to it i'm begging]

20. emdt time!!! i finished s2 but it was so hard to do it without liveblogging it on tumblr :( i tweeted a bit about it tho (but only a little!!!)

why no one told me my town's palace appears in el ministerio del tiempo [i'm kinda glad i wasn't on tumblr here cause i would've purposefully doxxed myself lol. anyways it was certainly something seeing it, especially knowing the actors were IN MY TOWN filming for DAYS and i didn't even know it. disgraceful]

i wish i could talk about the episode i'm seeing of emdt on tumblr cause it's super funny [it was the one where they have to pretend they're a normal ministerio !!!! 10/10 i had so much fun]

21. i also may or may not have gotten addicted to ck3 like a fucking nerd

the way i started playing crusader kings at nine thirty 'to spend some time until i go to bed' and suddenly it's past midnight ????

22. ⚠️the march 15 incident ⚠️ a lot happened today lol. and no, i'm not referring to the ides of march. i even forgot about them. busy day.

you can tell how i went through the whole spectrum of human emotions that day <3 anyways, i'll go in chronological order

how's your morning going people i woke up at 6:45 for a job interview but when i got to the bus stop i realized i don't have the transport chart recharged and i don't have enough money in my bank account to recharge it. lol.

in the end i managed to get to the interview and i even talked with an argentinian guy is this being a normal and sociable person

bomb the ucm

it's impossible for the spring to not be my favorite station, i'm about to cry over how nice this day is

i mean. overall it was a good day. but my memories of it get a bit tainted by the sequel (yes there is a sequel). anyways, let's go with the fun context.

so, yes i did (kinda) have a job interview that day. they haven't called me since so i guess that didn't work out. i had a 1 hour 30 mins trip on public transport to get there so that's why i woke up so early (the interview was at 9:30 i think?). i managed to get there only cause as i got back home to wait for my mum to wake up i got the notification that she had sent me 50 € to my bank account for that day. so i went out again, got to the tram station, recharged my transport card, and then got there. in the end the interview was delayed so whatever but yeah. nothing remarkable there apart from that argentinian guy i chatted with!! like a normal human!!!

anyways, after that i had to go to the ucm (told you i was gonna go there later in the month) because. you guessed it: the ucm predoc. i'm not gonna bore you with the details, but basically i had everything done and filled up, i just needed to sign and sent it to the entity. i couldn't do it online so - after calling and not receiving any answers - i printed everything, signed everything by hand and decided to deliver it in the registry office.

that's what i did, after the registry guy told me i should call the people who were in charge of all that process and calling - i shit you not - 6 different numbers until i got their approval. so that means it was done right? i've finished the process??? right???? lol. we'll come to that in the sequel <3

but yeah, the day was nice, it was super spring-y, and it's always great to go outside of the house so i liked it :)

23. i lost my mind over this tweet specifically

i don't know how to explain how important this picture is to me. like. it's identical to my favourite phrase in the whole world that appears in seneca's mede: medea superest. 'medea remains'. same idea as that sign. i'm gonna combust.

NO WAIT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. the context of 'medea superest' is that the wet nurse is telling medea that she's alone in the world and she answers with that. because despite everything, she still has herself.

despite everything, it's still you.

24. i found my favourite twitter account &lt;3

feliç dijous is 'happy thursday' in catalan btw

25. i listened to all esc 2023 songs and here's my top!!

i hit pic limit so i'll continue this in a part 2 (there's not much left i promise)

[300iqprower]

I'd like to know if you're angry about how Durga/Kali are both Sakurafaces, and about the possibilities of Shiva being a Shirouface. You always give such nice dissertations about disliking (x)face servants, so like a king commissioning an artist in a dank room with a tense atmosphere, I'd like to hear your thoughts.

That is....weirdly so incredibly flattering lol.

Sadly I don't...really have much to say at this point? Like it's the same reason I still haven't done that Imaginary Scramble writeup (to that other anon I am sorry...) in that there's basically just one key issue to restate over and over, rather than a whole mess to dive into, and everyone has already talked about that one key issue. Everyone knows why FGogh is a pretty damn tasteless depiction of mental illness, and how it's basically this one glaring thing on pasted over what could have been an otherwise fine character.

And while I could/will eventually still probably talk about FGogh, since there's an actual creative discussion to be had, that's not here for Sakura. The reason is plain and simple. It's because they wanted money, nothing more. Everything my NA-only view has allowed so far just makes it seem like a picture of sakura hastily duct-taped over an original idea. It's the same reason i don't really have much to say about Not-Sitonai beyond "this is bad".

There's no false history like with Not-Skadi (and according to another anon in my inbox, Saber-Medusa?), or intentional revisionist woobification like with Eresh, nor the whole mess that is the Roman and British servants being lionized, or the systematic bigotry of characters like Schez and Edgya, or ruins something that's been built up for ages like Beast Nero or Ruler Moriarty, or even some conspiracy i could weave like "Lalter keeps getting ignored because acknowledging her would mean acknowledging welsh myth".

It's shit, but in like, the most boring possible way because what is there to even say about it besides "fuck off." ya know? When it's this cynical, this creatively bankrupt, there's nothing to discuss about the potential creative process behind it.

[seokjinsonlyone]

Ranking who I KNOW I can seduce in BTS least to most likely Context: I'm THICK big butt, big boobs yummy thighs straight smile and round face. That's what we're working with lets get into it! Least- Jimin! While I think Jimin would be very attracted to me I think I'd spend too much time psychoanalyzing him, definitely a turnoff! Jimin and I would more quicker become long term confidantes than ever romp around in the sheets. Cute face though, maybe an accidental makeout once or twice? J-Hope- Jhope is not a one night stand type of deal to me idk. I think I'd be too in awe to even try to seduce him and if he paid attention to me I'd probably be too focused on something more long term that I'd forget all about the seduction mission. Also I think he'd find me a little exhausting lmao SeokJin- Love of my life jin please I need him so bad and that would be my downfall. He would know by one look in my eye how BAD I want the dick and I think that would be a big turn off for him. I think he'd enjoy toying with me for months on end but would never give me what I want.

Yoongi- Yoongi and I have def made out a couple of times but the friendship is so good that fucking seems off the table. I think we'd have too many deep convos about our lives and what we want in life that sex would seem like something almost too intimate to share after all that mental intimacy if that makes sense?

JungKook- I think I could pull JK! He's sexy and all but I am too lmao! I also think seducing JK is much more about the chill approach. coming over and playing video games, buying him a stuffed animal that reminded you of him. texting him only on occasion. Just giving him space to trust me and like me and he'll be knocking on my door begging within mm a month?

Namjoon- All I gotta do is be 1/10th of a natutally charming person to namjoon, not be an ignoramus, and continue to have big boobs and an ass and namjoon is in the bag. Maybe we'd spend a few days getting to know each other but he doesn't seem like he'd waste much time once he trusts that you're not a fuckin weirdo Taehyung- Not to double down on the taehyung easy train but you're absolutely right compliments and some expressive faces and he's done for. And as someone who has seduced someone without speaking their native tongue it's really not gone take much. Taehyung likes loving and being loved and I'm readTEE to give it to him.

SEE NOW those are different parameters than i allowed myself to operate within like i was thinking more like i meet you at a bar and decide i want you who am i taking home tonight but what you're getting at is WAAAYYY different bc give me some time and i 100% can have my pick of the litter bc my personality is a 12/10

but before i dive back into that lemme first say that you may be onto something with seokjin bc like i said before we got the same personality type and i literally did that to like 2 guys this past year ajsksjjwje but in my defense!!!! im on the spectrum so it wasn’t on purpose i just didn’t realize they liked me until i had already hurt they feelings LOL

ALSO that makes perfect sense for yoongi being so mentally and emotionally intertwined that you end up in that friend purgatory bc you’re afraid to change the nature of your relationship it’s textbook really

NOW who could i seduce HOLISTICALLY from least to most likely since that's the trend i started with that one actually i'm gonna do who would be the easiest to seduce from ltm and i'm forcing myself to do a spark notes version to save you from another one of my dissertations that nobody asked for

i’m keeping jin at 7 bc like i said unseduceable (we’d end up a nice lil nuclear family with 2 kids and a dog)

i’m dropping yoongi down to 6 bc that’s my twin flame and i feel like if i gave him too much time to think he’d talk himself out of it

i’m keeping hobi at 5 bc we’re endgame like we’d def have a good mix of 2seok and sope energy im his lil rain cloud and he’d be my sunshine we’d make rainbows together <3 but i’d have to give him the space to come to this conclusion on his own

dropping jimin to 4 bc he’s another one who would try to talk himself out of it but he’d be super curious about the possibilities(we’re playing the long game)

joonie would drop down to number 3 but only bc

jk would be number 2 like give me a month and i’d have that boy eating out the palm of my hands like we fr fr have too much in common and don’t have similar sense of humour i got that whole tsundere thing going on im so certain he wouldn’t be able to resist me like he’d talk himself INTO it bc he thinks we’re written in the stars or something (we’re not) but i’d let him think we were (¯\_(ツ)_/¯ he’s hot)

then tae stands at number 1 for previously mentioned reasons

[ivansergeyevichturgenev]

another education rant under a readmore so i don't drive you all insane :)

talking about nclb being the sole reason "gen alpha can't read" literally makes zero sense to me. i grew up with the effects of nclb. like i can read. (big caveat there disclaimer!!! i am not every child. i could also go on about older gen z's media literacy & critical thinking skills but i won't.) but now the effects of nclb are so much more concentrated than when i was in school. social studies and science are now a tiny fraction of the k-6 school day which makes me heart sad.

adult illiteracy has been an issue for a really long time. incarcerated children are most likely to be illiterate or be years behind their peers. these are not new problems. the "balanced" literacy shit is a big problem in districts that serve historically marginalized students. for example, iirc, oakland, california has yet to adopt, as a district, explicit phonics instruction, despite pressure. this was a big issue in nyc as well up until recently. the issue compounds if children miss school for whatever reason, which is a problem in some districts for certain populations. lack of transportation, family issues, illness, gang violence, etc.

phonics instruction isn't enough. phonics instruction isn't enough when we don't give students the prior knowledge they need in order to understand wtf it is that they're reading. being able to decode isn't enough. while any phonics curriculum worth its salt will have exercises to help students show they actually understand the text they're reading, it deeply bothers me that we have a wealth of research that shows background knowledge (in science, social studies, cultural understanding, etc.) trumps decoding skills that aid comprehension.

idk what's going on with gen alpha and younger members of gen z. but i think it extends beyond "they didn't get phonics instruction bc of nclb!!!!" 🙄 the level of apathy we're seeing has been building for probably 20 years, which tracks with the passing of nclb. students don't care anymore. parents do not care. teachers do not care. why should they? tbh. Lol. everything sucks.

i will end my dissertation here BUT i think it is complicated. and if i see another tiktok that simplifies the science of reading into a five second clip i'll lose my mind. idk if anything i wrote makes any sense either

[stormblessed95]

Hi.....Do you mind if I ask you some random thing? I used to love shounen and shoujo manga equally....But ever since I found BL manga 3 years ago, my interest in shoujosei (especially het romance) decrese a lot, and what I search for is just the dynamic between mc (male) and male lead...I don't want to read mc (female) and male lead or mc (male) and female lead...And what I want to read mostly are just mlm or wlw stories....

What do you think is happening to me? Is it really weird?

I mean, I could probably write an essay about the tropes and the way queer fiction is written compared to your typical het romances... but I mean, that could turn into an entire dissertation. And there are some really greatly written het romances out there as well that fall into the same types of tropes queer romances tend to follow. I could also get into possible fetishization issues, but lowkey, I don't *think* that's what this sounds like. Lol but I'd need more information I guess.

I could also just ask if you are maybe gay? Lol in any type of way. Because I feel like you are lowkey asking the wrong girl. Because you give me anything, and then you make it gay? And it increases in enjoyment for me. A 3 star read normally, but if it's gay, make it 4 stars. Lol

I also haven't actually read a ton of Manga myself yet, but I can absolutely give queer book recs out if you want! It IS pride month still!

[typewriter83]

FtW anon here again. One of these days I might reveal myself and drop a message 🤣 For now, however, I'll keep myself safe in my blanket of anonymity. Rest assured, you're not missing out, since my blog is about my other interests and has nothing in relation to JoelxEllie (and never will be since I don't love the romantic pairing enough to post about it haha, just a guilty pleasure where I enjoy the high-quality fics and find it an interesting concept). You're right, we do mesh as readers, considering the fact that I've already read both of the fics you recommended by CatrionaMac and CallMeShephard, and I loved them dearly— especially CallMeShephard's writing, which is the definition of soft, sweet Joellie and has a very natural progression. ❤️ Have you read 100 Steps?

And no, I don't write— which you probably figured out when I mentioned that I don't involve myself in the Joellie fanbase much and prefer to be a silent, lurking reader.

Also, the attraction to Tommy in FtW did throw me for a loop too— but I did spot it much earlier in the fic! It was kinda mentioned several times, as early as FtW2, but there were several segments in A Blanket Of Snow which made it really, really clear that Ellie has a thing for Tommy. ABOS was a major mindfuck though so I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't notice because you didn't read it thoroughly; it's a difficult piece to get through and I haven't read it all, just bits here and there out of curiosity.

I actually did know that Daniels wrote it for his now wife— must have slipped my mind since I kept saying in my other ask that it was his own interest and such 🤣 I, too, am a reader that lurks a lot and likes to read comments and author's notes. It is cute that he wrote such a detailed saga of stories for Michelle. Boy, he must love her a whole lot!

I never considered the ghost writer theory before, but it is super valid! There is a significant tonal shift in some areas which indicates that perhaps there was someone else involved in the writing process, most likely his wife as you said. That's a super interesting theory for sure— but I'm not too sure how likely it is. I'm curious as to what exactly stood out in A Home At The End Of the Road and made you think there was a ghost writer? If you could pinpoint any key moments, perhaps?

Yess, I have the same view of Joel and Ellie and the romance of it all! D&C was exactly what I had in mind when I was talking about your writing being softer in regards to their dynamic. I love them in that story, especially since Ellie is older in your stories. I'm a romantic at heart too, so I suppose that's why sometimes the sexual themes in FtW didn't sit right with me. Not because of the fact that it was sexual in itself (which did throw me a little since she was still 14, but that's a separate discussion), but because it wasn't as heartfelt as other Joellie stories that had those themes, and was moreso Joel agonising over how badly he wanted to bang her— I prefer a healthier dose of lovey dovey saccharine to accompany any explicit content, thanks! 🤣 I'm jesting all in good fun, of course, and not criticising Daniels. I find it kind of hilarious actually how versatile us fans are. Our yums come in all different shapes, sizes and flavours!

Good luck with the Boston QZ story! LOL, writing Joel being a meanie to Ellie must be hard since we just want him to get to the soft and sweet part already.

- Miss Undercover

Miss Undercover, I would never ask you to give up your anonymity. I mean, I hide behind a moniker, too. However, should you ever want to chat - that stays between you and me. I had someone tell me they created a new handle just so they could protect their name but have a conversation - whatever works, Mama will protect her cubs

Listen, we could write entire dissertations on the Joellie fandom. There are less than 500 stories in the tag on ao3, and yet there’s a wide variety of subject matter ranging from fluffy to depraved. And that’s good, that’s what fandom is about. But yes, I tend to stick to the softer, sweet side - unless it’s Pluums and she wants to write some 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ at a theme park, then that’s a bedtime story 🫣🫣

I have read “100 Steps” and I hope Shepard is doing well. He was writing pretty consistently in 2023, but has since stepped back. I would love to see how their story plays out, it’s an interesting concept and I’m here for the slow burn.

“Home at the End of the Road” (let’s call it Home from now on haha) is told in 4 parts: yesterday, today, tonight, and tomorrow. While it does remain consistent with Daniels’ attention to detail, there are a slew of characters introduced, almost leading me to believe there was more planned. Maybe I felt the shift because of Ellie’s attitude toward Joel, which tracks with her suspicions after SLC. The shift to Jackson felt like a whole different story, like it wasn’t part of the universe - but maybe that was the idea? Seeing as they’ll finally settled down? I’m not sure.

The smut - the lemon as he refers to it - was a shift too. Yes, I did catch Ellie’s mentions of Tommy in previous stories - ABOS was disturbing but very well written - haunting in that you were seeing the story through Ellie’s damaged psyche. Something shifted in the last story - and now you’re gonna make me sit down and read it again, because now I need examples, sheesh. I’m supposed to be the teacher here 😉 cubs putting me to work.

Daniels’ take on their inner monologues was definitely a different take than I would have. I’ve dipped my toes in writing a younger version of Ellie with Learning to Walk, and their inner monologues aren’t quite as depraved - but that’s also my take. For me, I don’t let Joel’s inner voice ever say what he wants, even to himself, because if he does, then it makes it real. Instead, he drives Ellie crazy with his grunting and groaning while doing pushups 🤭

I like writing Ellie as a little older in my AUs (24 in D&C and 25 in Am I the One) because it levels the power dynamics a little - he’s a lot older than her, but Ellie has some life experience before she meets him. Ellie already had a career and a life before she explores a life with Joel. In the canon divergent universes, Ellie is dependent on Joel - they’re co-dependent if we’re being honest - and it’s an entirely different power dynamic. Joel held a lot of power over Ellie in FtW, and she was so young through most of the story - I think the final chapter reflects a lot of that tonal shift too, but it’s also supposed to be 10 years later, so maybe he was just writing differently to reflect that. We’ll never know.

We can do a whole other dissertation on meanie Boston QZ smuggler Joel. This AU I’m someday gonna actually write - he tries so hard to be menacing to this girl (she’s 20 and fresh out of training FEDRA officer), but as always, she worms her way into his heart. 🤭

Thanks for coming back! My asks are always open for discussions!

🫶🏻

[1d1195]

Aww thank you so much!😭You have no idea how much that means to me!💗

Omg not him getting distracted?!? Bestie that is TRAGIC! I would lose it lowkey bc sadly i get TOO invested when I like something lol But YES I would HIGHLY recommend watching the last two together! I agree Tina’s episode felt more like season 2 vibes and would have probably fit better when she started to take those fancy cooking classes. But we got Richie’s episode which was a WIN for me lol

Bestie of course I will always be rooting for you! And the fact that you're a teacher just makes you even more remarkable! Plus you’re basically in the trenches everyday with those teenagers 😭And of course rooting for you in your personal life!

I saw that you’ve been struggling a bit with part 2 but you’ve managed to get it done! Very proud of you because I can only imagine how it can be a bit frustrating! I know all of us are going to love it!

HAHA omg you’re so REAL for thinking that! I mean he is a MAN after all so I would be surprised if he wasn’t whiny lol

Hope meeting up with your friend went well! And I especially hope that you’ve survived your family because I know it can get ROUGH😭Hope the weather gets better too! I know you basically hate when it’s hot lol

I was pretty busy this weekend! I hung out with friends I haven't been able to see in a while so it was nice to have a break! It’s been so hot recently but It cooled down a bit so we had a picnic! And I actually saw a movie where the main character was named Sam/Samantha! What’s wild though is that we went out for sushi and there was a roll called Sun Kissed and I immediately thought of your fic! I MUST re-read it because it is such a cute little summer fic! ANYWAYS overall it was nice but my social battery was drained lol 

I'm wishing you the BEST start of the week! Hope you are treating yourself well! Wishing you all the LOVE BESTIE!!- 💜

BRO I TOLD HIM I WANTED TO WATCH BOTH EPISODES AND HE SAID WE CAN WATCH ONE. I COULD THROW UP. IDK WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM. Anyway. That's a good point about Richie vs. Tina. It would have been greedy to have both. Anyway. I can't tell you how much I love the Faks. My favorite bit so far has been "How many Faks are coming?" "At least 2 less than 5." I just love them so much. Barging into the hospital to see Claire??? 😭😭

Part 2 is done and posted. I'm trying not to hate it since it's only been an hour, it's Monday, and I did write a whole ass dissertation 🤦‍♀️ I can't wait to hear your thoughts if you have time to read it 💕

...he's super whiny tbh... or maybe I'm just conditioned to not want to be whiny because I'm just a girl 😂 if you know what I mean.

It was super nice to see my friend! My fam is this week and not looking forward to it exactly. I went for a walk today in this RIDICULOUS hot humid air. But I do feel better for it. I have another friend meeting tonight so I need to shower again and try to remain cool. It's also Monday so it's my list day hehehehe so I've got that going for me too! I'm also addicted to online shopping and it's Prime Day tomorrow so I gotta get shit for my classroom. So that's what I have for this week! Hopefully I'll have time to read and write too!

OMG so fun! I hope she was a good character. I'm always so sad about Sam/Samantha's in movies and shows--they give me such a bad rap. They're often a 👎 (but not Hilary Duff in A Cinderella Story but that's because Hilary can do no wrong by me). I LOVED sun-kissed. So much summer fun 😂 I've never been a sushi fan, but I love that for you! I'm glad you had a nice weekend with friends even if your battery is drained!

LOVE YOU! 💕

xoxo

[hetaliahealing]

Hi Krem!💖

(✿◡‿◡) How are you today? I hope that you're doing well!<3

I got some questions for you~ ヾ(≧▽≦*)

When did you get into hetalia? ♡ Whose your favorite character? Do you have a favorite ship? What was your (or one of your) first ships in hetalia? ‪‪❤︎‬ What's your favorite thing about hetalia?

Okie, I should probably stop while I'm ahead before I send you five thousand questions (˶ˆᗜˆ˵)

Cheers!~🪽

Hi hi anon!! What a treat to wake up to an inbox message like this :3 I would love to answer these!

How Long?: I was just talking to a friend abt this last night! Pretty early, like late 2009. My first Hetalia day was 2010! I found it trying to find other animes daisuke namikawa (italy's vo) did. I actually passed Hetalia on the list several times, clocked the thumb's art style, went "ew" LOL. I watched a few other things before finally circling back to Hetalia. Went "5 minutes? I'll give it a shot". I've been trapped here ever since ദ്ദി ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ )

Favorite?: Easy easy :3 Gilbert/Prussia! Arthur is a close runner up, but Gilbert's the one that elicits the biggest "MY BOY" reaction.

Ships: FrUk is my unwavering otp of the fandom ᧖(• ᦢ •)ᦣ PruCan is a close second, but I'll au/crack ship Gilbert with anyone. Almost. I'm also a much more relaxed shipper than I was starting out in fandom.

First Ship: I've been a FrUK stan from the starting line, but PruAus/PruHun/PruAusHun was my main Gilbert fix before PruCan.

Favorite thing: THE FANART!! That's my unserious answer (still a truth!). But actually -- I came across Hetalia before country-humans, which I think also started around '09. So for me it's truly just the premise and sand box Himaruya-san's created. The first few days I created this blog it's title was actually "impressionable characters" because in a lot of ways, I look at them like coloring pages. Some people headcanon and au-the crap out of characters in fandom, and it's like, they've basically created an OC. And I have nothing against that. But not only has Himaruya dabbled in au-settings like 2p and Gansta (which is kinda like a huge permission slip of GO FOR IT!!), but just the nature of "immortal country humans" gives a lot of grace in character flexibility and personalization. In the same vein as the version of you in your mind will be different than the version of you in your co-workers, peers, friends, etc. Our expectations of ourselves differ from other people's expectations of us. Characters, like real people, exist in different flavors of multitudes in every unique individual's mind. Throw in the element of "immortality" and "onslaught of history" — not that people's personalities completely change during a life time, but our experiences and histories impact how we think and act towards ourselves and others. All that to say, without word vomiting more — I can basically see most fan iterations of most characters valid in some way shape or form (context matters for sure which is why I am big au fan). 10 years ago, internally in fan spaces, I would often be raging like "That is so ooc!!! sdfghjk HNN" Now? I'm like "Yeah they could probably have the capacity do/be that". And for me a lot of that acceptance comes from and how I incorporate these fictional characters in my own mental/daily processing and remembering hundreds of others probably security-blanket these fucks in uniquely similar, valid, ways.

Send me not five thousand questions unless you want to wait two weeks for a dissertation in how Hetalia HiJacked my life ✺◟༼ຈ ل͜ ຈ༽◞✺