#i could probably name a different title from each of those categories that's stayed in my heart

[auntcunty]

OMG YOU HAVE A CHONCES TATOO WHY? I mean, your body your choice but I would never ever put something about this game ON MY DAMN SKIN

No hate, just really shocked

LMAO like if it was any other book besides Endless Summer HELL NO but I'm a huuuuuuuuuge slut for time travel and friendship!! (I've honestly considered getting more time travel theme tattoos like from Back to the Future, Bill & Ted, Best Friends Whenever, etc.) I've also been playing Choices since the beginning so I read ES as it came out over 2 years, so I got a lot more attached to the story and characters than I would if I had binged it.

Aaaand in case my love for the story waned in the future I did decide to choose a design that was more on the generic side! Whenever a rando asks me about it I just say "it's a spaceman" "why?" "cuz I like spacemen" instead of having to be like "hey who's that random cartoon white guy u have a portrait of?" "MY HUSBANDO THAT I'VE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH OVER AND OVER AGAIN IN A TIME LOOP"

[mask131]

Magical summer: Goetia

GOETIA

Category: Demonology

When I say “Goetia” you probably think “Ars Goetia”, thanks to Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel… But in truth the “Ars Goetia” is but a small fragment of what the term “goetia” truly covers.

Goetia was actually a common term back in medieval and Renaissance Europe. In France we were lucky because the word evolved in our language, became “goétie”, but in English the word stayed stuck in its original Latin form, “goetia”, itself derived from the Greek word goeteia (charm/witchcraft). Christianity at the time recognized generally two different types of magic, two types of magical craft or occults arts. One was the “good magic”, aka the “theurgy” (theurgia), the art of speaking with benevolent spirits (such as angels) and summoning divine powers (such as those of the saints or of the Virgin Mary) in order to do things making you closer to God. Also called the “natural magic”, it was not exclusively found in Christianity and was widespread (for example the Kabbalah is a form of Jewish theurgy). However the goetia is quite exclusively Christian.

The goetia is the reverse of the theurgy. An evil and heretical form of magic, the goetia is the art of invoking demons. The goetia practitioner could summon demons to do their bidding, be it a defensive job or an offensive job, and they could also enslave evil spirits to their will. In modern days, this kind of “demon-summoning” is what the common folk refers as “demonology” but in truth the demonology is originally just the study and classification of demons. It was an honorable practice done by clerics or by respected authorities – an illustration of the “Know thy enemy” proverb. The “scientific” study that was demonology and the “witchcraft” that was goetia only got confused because demonology texts have goetia as their main subject, AND because demonology treaties also study and report all the ways to invoke, summon and enslave the demons it lists or categorize. But the true art of summoning demon is goetia.

 However, we cannot ignore the “Ars Goetia”, which was the most famous use of the term in history and greatly helped popularize this concept.

What is the “Ars Goetia”? Some say it is a list of demons. True. Other says it is a grimoire of demonology… Yes and no. But then some (encouraged by the Hazbin/Helluva popularity, and before that by its use in comic books and the like) believe that the “Ars Goetia” is actually the name of a specific group of demons – and this is a big no.

The “Ars Goetia” is a book, yes, but a book that doesn’t stand on its own. The “Ars Goetia” is part of a wider and larger grimoire of demonology AND theurgy, written by an anonymous author during the 17th century. This grimoire is known as “The Lesser Key of Solomon” (though ironically, while it is known by this name, it is not the actual name of the book – its real name is “Lemegeton Clavicula Salomonis”, which means “The Little Key of Solomon”, but people used the more poetic and approximative translation of “The Lesser Key of Solomon”. Other times they shorten the original Latin title and call the grimoire the “Lemegeton”).  Now The Lesser Key of Solomon is divided into five different books, or five different volumes, each one actually describing a different “art”. And “art” in Latin… is “Ars”. One book is the “Ars Notoria” (Notory Art), a series of prayers that gives the magician who says them the gift of eidetic memory and instantaneous learning. Another is the “Ars Almadel” (the Art of Almaldel) which gives recipes and methods to create wax tablets allowing contact with angels through scrying. A third one is “Ars Paulina” (The Art of Paul, aka Paul the Apostle) giving a list of the 24 angels corresponding to the 24 hours of the day, and another list of the 360 benevolent spirits associated with the degrees of the zodiac. Etc…

And one of these five books is called “Ars Goetia”, which simply means “The art of the goetia”. And this volume (which is actually the first part of The Lesser Key of Solomon) gives a detailed list of 72 demons, each of them having a unique name, appearance, specific powers and abilities, as well as a specific ranking. The result makes a complex demonic hierarchy in Hell with Kings, Dukes, Princes, Counts, Marquis and Presidents. The Ars Goetia also contains indications and precisions about the various rituals and magic spells that can be used to conjure, interrogate or banish those various demons. It notably includes for each demon a given sigil.

The Ars Goetia ended up being the most popular and well-know part of The Lesser Key of Solomon (because demons and Hell and dark magic is cool, and who would want to just talk to lame angels anyway, right?), to the point that many people starting thinking (and editing) the Ars Goetia on its own as if it was its own unique grimoire.

- - -

Fun fact: The Lesser Key of Solomon, while well-known and very popular, is not actually a unique production. In truth, The Lesser Key is just a compilation of many other previous grimoires, rewriten and mashed-up together in five volumes For example the "Ars Goetia" volume is actually just an entire rewrite of a previous demonology grimoire called the "Pseudomonarchia Daemonum", with just a few details changed (for example there are new demons that weren't in the Pseudomonarchia, or some ranks are changed, etc...). In a similar way, the other books also tend to be rewrite or rip-offs of previous grimoires, such as "Steganographia", the "Magical Calendar", the "Heptametron" or the "Three Books of Occult Philosophy" by Cornelius Agrippa.

[citrineghost]

Struggling to stay organized because you have ADHD?

Well, I have a fantastic solution for you! There’s this bitchin site called Trello and I’m gonna tell you all about it

This is not sponsored, I just really like organization and Trello is awesome. And, as always, no readmore because this is targeted at ADHD people and y’all ain’t gonna click it

[ID: a picture of a website with many columns/lists. Behind the lists, there is a customized background. To the right is a sidebar showing that you can search Unsplash for backgrounds right from the site. Each column/list has a bunch of ‘cards’ on it. The cards each have a title and color coded label(s) /end ID)

Here’s a picture of my to-do board

There are some things blacked out, mostly just my avatar, name, and some original creative stuff I don’t feel like broadcasting.

So, Trello is broken up into different levels of organization. Let’s start with the most important level: boards.

Boards

A board is what’s pictured above. Think of it like a corkboard where you pin your notes. You can make as many of these as you want. You can title them, invite people to them, automate certain parts of them, and more.

On your board, you can make

Lists

Lists are those columns you can see on my board. You can title each list, click and drag them around to reorder them, set them to automatically label the things on them, and so on.

My lists on my to do board are titled with a time period for when I aim to do something. The time periods are large and vague, which makes them great for my ADHD. I can move things between them as I need, which is also great for my ever shifting brain thoughts. 

But! What makes it great is that whatever I put in the left list, titled Next, I know is what I need to be focusing on at the moment. It makes it easier to ignore what’s to the right of it and let’s me relax knowing I won’t just forget everything I’m not prioritizing.

Lists are used for holding

Cards

(ID: A picture of a small window that opens after clicking on a card. It contains the title, the labels (with their names now visible), and a functioning checklist. There is also a place to type a description, a place to add comments, and a list of buttons on the side for managing the card and its place on the board /end ID)

Each card can be as simple as containing just a title (making it a simple entry on your list), or as complicated as housing photos, descriptions, checklists, labels, and comments. You just click the card and it opens the window shown above.

My card is for a tabletop I’m working on, nicknamed TAP. I have it labeled with all of the things pertaining to what it involves (world building, writing, in progress, spreadsheeting, and art/creative). These color coded labels make it easy to see what kind of cards I’m looking at when looking at the overall board and lists.

As I do things on the checklist, I can mark them off. You can even set it to hide completed items on the checklist.

When I’m done with an item on my to do list, I click and drag the card to the Done list (which is offscreen on the far right). If you don’t want a visible Done list, you can also just archive a card and it will disappear from the board.

You can also set due dates on cards, which will notify you when they’re almost due or when the due date arrives.

Customization

One of my favorite things about Trello is that you can customize the appearance of your boards! My ADHD brain can’t stand looking at the same thing constantly, so it’s great that I can change things up. Each board can have its own design too, so you can match the vibes of the board with the appearance.

You can pick from a bunch of solid colors for your board or you can use the connection Trello has with Unsplash to search and select free stock images provided by photographers.

Other Parts of Organization

Not only do you have boards, lists, and cards, you can also make Workspaces, which are basically categories to sort your boards into. If you use Trello for projects, and have a board for each project, you can sort your boards into a Projects workspace.

There is also a function called Butler, which you can use to automate boards. For example, you can set it to automatically create a card called “Pay Rent” at the start of each month.

On the right, in the same sidebar where you can see the background options, there’s also an activity feed, tracking every time a card is moved, commented on, added, archived, and so on.

Team Work

Not only is Trello great for keeping private boards, you can also invite people to them! That makes it incredible for household management, group projects, or even friend groups who feel like storing plans and personalized memes. You can literally use it for whatever you want and in whatever way you want!

ADHD Applications

So, now let’s get down into the specifics of how this is great for people with ADHD.

You can make as many boards, lists, and cards as you want.

This is a big one for me, because I really struggle with websites that limit how much you can do with one account and force you to make multiples and then juggle multiple logins and so on. Start a new project? Make a new board. Follow your heart. Be free. If you end up giving up on it, just delete it, or store it for later. You can Star the boards you actively use and just use the Star list to access the boards you need, so if you star all your active ones and then ignore the unstarred, failed projects, you can leave them to rot or abandon them until the mood strikes again.

You can organize in a way that works for you.

So many organization applications are made to work one way and that can be really difficult to navigate as someone with ADHD. So many people with ADHD have such specific needs in regards to how they organize that it can be really hard to find something that works. Half the time we end up just scrambling around from application to application, cursing them as we go because one has one thing we like, but it doesn’t have the thing this other one has that we like and nothing ever seems to just work.

Trello makes it possible to personalize how you organize and even change how you organize halfway through. I keep my to do list organized in 4 priority levels with the addition of a Pin list and a Done list. You could also:

Keep a list that works as a calendar, with a card for each entry, organized in order of date

Keep a list of reminders where automated weekly/monthly/yearly responsibilities pop up

Jot down reminders as you think of them

Keep lists of school assignments in the order they’re due

Use descriptions and photo uploads on cards to collect information or resources needed for said assignments

Keep lists of information that’s easy to forget or lose track of on paper like address history, work history, references, contact information, and so on (like I’ve done on my ‘Pin’ list)

Use boards for projects, to keep track of things like resources, due dates, meeting times, sending files between classmates or project partners, and so on

Use boards for planning events like weddings, parties, conferences, school dances, or whatever else you’re into

Collect resources, references, or recreational to-dos (like links to fanfiction you want to read)

Literally anything

You can separate everything onto different boards, making everything visible from the titles of cards, or combine it all into one, with lots of information available on a click

The sky’s the limit

You can automate repeat tasks.

ADHD comes with a lot of forgetfulness when it comes to regular tasks, such as weekly appointments, medication reminders, and a yearly charge for your Nintendo membership. You can put that stuff into your calendar, but that can also be tricky because then you have information spread across multiple platforms.

Just as easily, you can set Butler to make new cards with reminders on them.

There’s probably more but I have ADHD and I forgot

Just think of the possibilities!!

I used to get debilitatingly stressed out because I would have 10 things floating around in my head because I was simultaneously trying not to forget them and also stressing about them and I would make what I call “spaghetti lists” where I would list all the things I’m thinking of, just as a way to calm down and know that I won’t forget them, so that my brain could quiet down.

Since starting this board, I haven’t had to do that once because all of the things I’m afraid of forgetting are already listed, even if they’re on the list titled ‘ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ‘ because idk if they’re ever actually gonna happen.

It can be incredibly stressful to see all of your to do items in one place, but since starting this, I have been less stressed overall, because I now know I can find them all in that one place. Learning to manage and cope with the stress of knowing I have a lot to do is easier than forgetting things and then realizing I’m late on something or things just never happening because I never remember them when I’m in a place where I can work on them.

And when you have everything in one place to reference when you have some executive energy, you can suddenly just start doing things. I have them labeled by type so I can go, “I’m in the mood to draw,” and then check all the dark blue labels for creative projects. It makes everything so much easier.

Anyway, I hope this is helpful to some of you, it’s genuinely been life changing for me

[reidgraygubler]

and they said speak now... (spencer reid/reader)

Title: and they said speak now... Request: no Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader Category: fluff w/ some angst Content Warning: swearing (if any), leaving someone at the alter, Word Count: 3,803 Summary: Spencer Reid is getting married and Reader is in love with him. Reader shows up at his wedding, uninvited, to try and win him back before it’s too late. A/N: this is based on speak now by taylor swift. thanks for the love and support! check out my masterlist  

{***}{***}{***}

My body refused to work when my eyes opened. I just laid still in bed, watching as the ceiling fan spun. There was no work today, so there really should be no reason for me to be awake right now. Why was there no work? Because my best friend, Doctor Spencer Reid, was getting married. And I was uninvited by his not so lovely bride-to-be. 

Everyone would be wondering where I was and why I wasn’t there. I suppose it’s not exactly my place to say why I wasn’t invited or why I wasn’t there. I should be there. She didn’t invite me because she doesn’t like me. She thinks I’m a threat. It’s probably a good thing I’m not there. Mostly because I’m in love with Spencer Reid and I’m too late. She was right not to let me be there. I’m no more a threat than JJ is. JJ loves Spencer, but I suppose it’s different for her. She’s already married, and I’m single. 

I remember the day Spencer told me he was engaged and getting married. My heart broke into a million pieces, but he didn’t know that. Spencer couldn’t know my true feelings for him. It’d ruin everything we had together, and I didn’t want to lose my friendship with Spencer. But, I suppose I am losing my friendship with him because of his wife-to-be.

My stomach churned as I rolled to look at the clock. The ceremony would be starting in two hours. And in two hours, Spencer Reid would be a husband to someone who isn’t me. 

“Screw this,” I muttered as I pushed myself out of bed. I made way towards the closet and pulled out a dark blue, knee-length tea dress. I made sure to be quick with a shower and getting ready to leave. If I took my time and doddled, I would be late and I'd lost my chance to show up. 

I grabbed the last few things I needed before leaving my apartment. The church that the ceremony was being held at was across town. From what I’m told, by JJ, the bride wanted the wedding to be in Baltimore. But, Spencer wouldn’t have that. He wanted the wedding to be right here in DC. I was happy about that. 

I parked my car down the street from the church. It was a cute building. A place where I’m sure a lot of brides would love to have their wedding. I rolled my eyes at the sickening thought of his wife-to-be, begging him for their wedding to be at a place like this.  

When I stepped into the church, I smiled when I saw our friends and co-workers waiting in the foyer. They looked happy to see me too. JJ, of all the people, seemed the happiest. She peeled away from the group to embrace me.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, her baby blue eyes staring into my soul. She knew exactly why I wasn’t invited. She even knew how I felt about Spencer and the bride. JJ shouldn’t be surprised that I’m here. I’ve spent many nights with her, or with Emily, or with Penelope. Many of those nights were spent with my drunk and blubbering about this whole thing. The day after I found I wasn’t invited to my best friend’s wedding, I told JJ that I was going to show up anyways and break them up… She said I shouldn’t. Well, look at where I am now.

I stared back at her, staying silent. The bride’s family was scattered around the room. They were all wearing different shades of pastels and snotty expressions on their faces. In fact, everyone here was wearing pastels… Except for me. I stood out in my dark dress. 

“He can’t marry her,” I kept my voice low as I scanned the room. My eyes landed on Diana. She was standing by the doors to the sanctuary. The expression on her face told me that she did not want to be here, that she was confused, and that she did not like what was going on with Spencer. My heart broke for her. “You know that. He’s too good for her,” I whispered as I looked back at JJ. JJ looked back at me and nodded. 

“Are you-”

“Yes,” I cut her off before she could say another word. She nodded and looked around the room. Shouting could be heard from a back room. I could only assume the bride was shouting at one of her bridesmaids. I wrinkled my nose and looked at JJ. “Don’t stop me if I tackle that woman to the ground when I see her,” I whispered. 

“I will, most definitely, stop you. We don’t need you in jail.” She whispered before pulling me into a hug. I nodded and pressed my face into her shoulder. I was happy that our other friends didn’t come over and talk to me. 

“Save me a seat,” I winked at her. She smiled and chuckled lightly, but nodded.

“Good luck,” she smiled before allowing me to sneak away.

I walked past the group of our friends. They noticed me and my expression, taking it as a sign to not talk to me. I was on a mission and couldn’t be stopped. That was until I heard my name being called from a familiar person. 

“I’m so happy you’re here,” Diana spoke as she wrapped her arms around my body. I froze stiff. What am I supposed to do right now?! I can’t just tell Diana off and leave her. “I wasn’t sure if you’d come or not,”

“Yeah, I almost wasn’t going to come,” I spoke as I stepped back a step. Diana looked at me with a relaxed expression on her face. “Listen, Diana, I’d love to chat, but I have to get to my seat,” I lied with a smile. I felt bad for lying to Spencer’s mother. But, I didn’t want to be caught by anyone from the bride’s family. I’d be kicked out in an instant. I couldn’t leave, I still have to speak my mind.

“Spencer can’t marry this girl,” she whispered as she hugged me again. I felt tears well up in my eyes as she spoke. “I love him, but this girl is not for him,” she continued. I nodded and backed away from her.

“I know,” I whispered before walking away from her. Again, I felt bad for lying to her and just walking away. I knew if I stayed with her, she’d cling to me. And, I couldn’t just be by her side. Spencer still had to walk her to her seat before the official start of the ceremony. He can’t know that I am here.

The sanctuary was… beautiful… Sure, that’s a word that could be used. Flowers decorated each of the pews with ribbon and bows. A pastel pink carpet lined the center aisle, with pink rose petals on top of it. The windows were covered with curtains that were drawn back, except for the back two. I looked around for a place to hide before giving up and just tucking myself behind the curtain. 

This is not how I thought my day would be. And, I’m sure Spencer is expecting a totally different outcome for his wedding day. This is not what he thought it would be.

 I pressed my back to the wall behind me and closed my eyes. A memory came to my mind and caused tears to roll down my cheeks. The day I realized I was in love with him. It seemed like everyone but Spencer and I knew that. But, that was probably for the best. I knew from that day on I would forever be screwed. I was right though. I’ve never been more screwed in my entire life until now.

I thought about what I was going to say when it came time to disagree with this holy matrimony, though I would disagree and say unholy matrimony. Like, would I say “Spencer, I love you. Please don’t marry her.” Or, alternatively, would I say “She’s the wrong person to marry. You should be marrying me.” Or, “Don’t say yes to her. Runaway with me. Don’t spend the rest of your life regretting this.” 

The sound of the organ started to play the wedding march, it sounded like the death march to me, pulled me out of my thoughts, and to the realization of current events. I poked my head out from the curtain. The sanctuary was filled, except for the back pew. I quickly stepped to sit there. JJ and everyone was sitting more towards the center of the room. I had to be quick as I moved towards them. I closed my eyes as I sat beside her. She looked over at me before grasping my hand.

I looked towards the front of the room and saw the bridal party and Spencer. My heart raced as I looked at him. 

He wore a baby blue suit with a baby pink bowtie. He hated it. I could tell by the expression on his face that he hated it. Hell, I hated it too. It made him look flushed. Or, maybe that was the fact that he was about to marry a self-center bitch.

He isn’t the type to marry someone like this girl. He should be marrying me. Would that also make me a self-centered bitch too then? 

Suddenly everyone around me stood up, causing me to shyly stand to my feet. The bride and her father entered the room and started down the center aisle. I kept my eyes on Spencer. He looked at her like he loved her, but something was off. I wish it was me walking down in an elegant wedding dress instead of this woman. And something told me he wished it was me too. That has to mean something, right? I’m not just projecting my feelings on to him, am I?

She walked past me, her gown shaped like an oversized cream puff. The way she walked was similar to a pageant queen who won the pageant. I'm sure that's how she thought too. She probably thought that since I wasn't invited, I shouldn't be here. Therefore, I couldn't ruin her perfect day. Boy, was she wrong. I’m about to ruin everyone’s day. Or, make it better. That entirely depends on what happens. I shook my head to get rid of those thoughts of her winning and turned my eyes back to Spencer. 

Everyone sat back down and the ceremony started. The priest went right at the start of it all and I stopped listening till I needed too. I didn’t want to hear about how the priest was so blessed to be marrying Spencer and his bride, and how he was so fond of their shared love. I wanted so desperately to scoff and roll my eyes. But I knew it was an entirely inappropriate time to do that.

“For those who disagree upon this marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace,” the priest spoke. I shot my head back up to look at them. 

The silence in the air was tense and I knew this was my last chance. I'm not missing this moment. JJ squeezed my hand as I nervously stood up. My stomach dropped to the ground and I suddenly felt like I was going to throw up. My hands were shaking and sweaty. All eyes were on me. The horrified expressions on everyone’s faces, except for my friends, made me feel even sicker. But I just kept my eyes on Spencer, who kept his eyes on me. The bride kept looking between Spencer and I. She wanted to stop me from saying something, but she couldn’t. I disagreed with this marriage. I get my chance to speak.

“I’m… I’m sorry,” I whispered as I slowly sat back down. I noticed how Spencer was staring at me like he was surprised that I’d be here. My face twisted up as I stood back up. “You know what, no…  I’m not sorry… I’m not at all sorry.” I bit my lips together and nodded. “Now,” I stepped out of the pew row and stood in the center aisle, “I’m… I’m not the type of girl who just shows up, rudely barging in, uninvited to a white veil, white dress event… But, Spencer, you’re not the kind of boy to marry the wrong girl,” I stopped talking and swallowed roughly. Everyone was still staring at me, but I was still staring at Spencer. The tension in the air was tight, and I felt like I needed to throw up. “I love you, Spencer,” I wiped my eyes as tears started to roll down my cheeks. “So, don’t say yes… Don’t marry her. Please… Runaway with me, Spencer… I’ll meet you outside… Just, please don’t wait, don’t say a single vow… Runaway with me, please. I… I love you,” I spoke out loud, just for Spencer. I wasn’t exactly pleased that I had to pour my heart and soul out to Spencer in front of my best friends and her family. 

The priest looked shocked as he turned to Spencer. Spencer was still staring at me, confusion and shock on his face. The bride was definitely in shock and anger that I’m ruining her wedding day. I won. I don't care if Spencer says anything after… I ruined her wedding day… therefore I won. Though that was a lie, I did care if Spencer said anything. Because, even if he didn’t feel the same, my day would be further ruined. So, in the end, she would win.

“Do you… Do you have anything to say,” the priest finally spoke after what felt like hours of silence. 

I placed my hand over my stomach,  trying to hold back the feeling of being sick. Spencer just stared at me, his mouth opening and closing. I wiped my eyes and nodded, understanding I messed up and should just leave. Just as I turned to leave he spoke. “Let’s… Let’s run away… Right now,” Spencer spoke out, catching my attention and turning me back to look at him. I widened my eyes and opened my mouth, but no words fell out. Spencer pulled his hands from the bride’s and kept his eyes on me. 

“Spencer,” the bride started to whine. That was the first time Spencer looked away from me, only to glare at the bride. I held back the inappropriate laughter. 

“I love you too,” he spoke as he turned to face me, “I’ll meet you outside, let me… I’ll meet you outside in a minute,” he spoke as he stepped off the platform and towards me. He walked closer to me, keeping his eyes on me. “You’re right, I’m not the type of boy to be marrying the wrong girl,” he whispered just loud enough for me to hear. Spencer stood right in front of me and held my hands. I nodded and smiled. 

“You better be outside,” I muttered before pecking his cheek and running out of the church and towards the side. I needed to hide from the onslaught of the bride’s family that was bound to come my way. I hid in the bushes, away from everyone. I could hear the shouting and yelling coming from the inside of the church as the doors swung open. I looked over the bushes and saw Spencer sprinting down the stairs. He was no longer wearing his light blue suit jacket and a light pink bowtie. He was just wearing his white button-up, suspenders, and light blue slacks. I smiled as I stepped out of the bushes. 

I ran into his arms and he embraced me before kissing my lips. I melted under his touch. The way he held me close to his body made me feel warm and safe. He held my cheeks in his hands and kept my head still so I couldn’t move away from him. But even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t. I was content staying here. We stayed still, kissing each other right in front of the church he was going to get married at, where he left his wife-to-be at the altar. 

I kept my eyes closed because I was scared that if I opened them this dream would be gone and Spencer would be married, and not to me. I’d wake up and still be in bed where I was before I came over here. But, when we finally separated from each other and I opened my eyes, I was looking at Spencer. My heart fluttered at the sight of him, happy that he was standing in front of me. 

“I didn’t say my vows… I didn’t say anything to her…” he whispered once we were in each other’s arms. I smiled and nodded. “I’m so happy you were there when the priest said speak now,” he smiled, keeping his hands on my face. 

“My car… It’s just down the street… We can go, go to my place, your place, anywhere. Anywhere but here,” I whispered and nodded. Spencer looked over his shoulder towards the church where more shouting came from. I followed his gaze just as the doors were pushed open. I was worried that it’d be the bride, coming to shout at Spencer, but more importantly me. I relaxed when I saw JJ and Emily’s faces.

“You guys should go if you’re going to leave! Derek can only hold her back for so long,” JJ looked down at us. She seemed pleased that Spencer was here with me. No one liked her. But no one wanted to tell Spencer that. He loved her. But, I guess he loved me more.

“Honestly, Aaron and David can only do so much to hold back the bride’s family. Her father wants to rip you a new one, Spence,” Emily laughed. I looked back at Spencer and smiled. 

Just as we were about to tease back, the door was pushed open again and the bride stepped out. She was staring at Spencer and I with anger in her eyes. I looked at her with terror on my face.

Spencer picked me up in one easy movement and threw me over his shoulder. I held back the laughter that I so desperately wanted to let out. But, instead, I looked at the bride with a smile. She looked back at me, the anger exploding on her face. JJ and Emily held her back so she could chance after Spencer and I. I won. I flashed her my best smile as Spencer walked further and further from the church.

The bride just stood behind JJ and Emily, staring at us. Her face was twisted up. They kept their arms up to keep her from chasing after us. I smiled as I watched them try to deescalate the situation but ultimately held her back. There was no saving the day from this situation. 

Spencer walked down the street towards my car. He kept me over his shoulder. I finally laughed once we were at my car. He set me down so I was sitting on the hood of my car. “Where do you want to go?” he asked, resting his hands on the hood of my car on either side of my hips. I smiled as he leaned closer to me.

“My place,” I whispered before pressing a kiss to his lips. He hummed and nodded. “My place, she doesn’t know where I live. She can’t storm in and scream at us. She’ll do that at your place,” I whispered.

“Your place it is,” he smiled at me before kissing my lips again. He helped me off the hood and then into the car. 

“Does this mean we have to get married now?” I looked at him. Spencer laughed as he started the car. “Can we get married now?” I asked, keeping my voice low. Spencer glanced at me and smiled. “Too soon?” I cracked a smile at him. 

“No, not too soon.” Spencer smiled as he started my car and drove away. “I suppose that means we can get married now,” he reached out for my hand. I let him hold it as I stared at him. 

“Wow, not even going to ask me out on a date before you propose to me?” I smiled before pressing my lips to his cheek. He glanced at me for a moment. Pure bliss and happiness was on his face as we drove away from the church. 

“Well, actually, I think you’re the one that proposed to me,” he grinned. I rolled my eyes and nodded. 

“I guess you’re right,” I threw my head back in laughter. Spencer glanced at me again and smiled. “Although, I never technically asked the question… That being, will you marry me?” I turned to face him. He stayed silent, laughing through his nose as he shook his head. I stared at him and cocked an eyebrow. “So, will you?” I asked out loud when I realized he thought I was just joking.

“Oh, you were being serious,” he looked over at me when he stopped at a stoplight. I stared at him and slowly nodded.

“I was being serious, Spencer. I mean, I didn’t just spill my heart and soul out in front of that amount of people I don’t know, nor like, and you’re now ex-fiance for no reason. I’m being more than serious,” I whispered and nodded. He looked down at our hands and raised an eyebrow. “Marry me, Spencer Reid,”  

Never in a million years did I ever expect to be proposing to my best friend on his wedding day. I don’t think he was expecting it either. Honestly, no one should have seen this coming. But, here I am, sitting in my car with Spencer beside me, asking him to marry me, after he left his wife-to-be at the altar. 

“That’s going to be one hell of a love story to tell people, you know,” Spencer smiled at me. I looked at him as a smile grew on my lips. I shook my head but kept the smile on my lips. 

“Is that… Is that a yes?” I whispered and kept my eyes on Spencer. He glanced at me and smiled. 

“You don’t just stop the wedding of your best friend and not expect me to say yes,” he laughed. I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “Of course I’ll marry you,” 

“You’re not wrong though, it will be one hell of a love story to tell people,” I half-cackled.

I’m so happy I was there when they said speak now.

if you want to be a part of a taglist or have any comments about this one shot, let me know here ​

[phoebehalliwell]

if you could give 3 positive and 3 negative personality traits to each of the next gen, what would they be?

ooh love it. okay. we know i talk a lot. A Lot. i’m doing this in waves. first set of siblings under the cut (wcm). 2.9k. ily!

wyatt i think it’s say kind bc like. he genuinely tries really hard to be a nice person. considerate which is kind of the same as kind but again he like. he knows the elders almost killed him as a little kid he knows there’s a world where he does go dark side and that does weigh on him, so he tries to put other’s feelings first as much as possible. and then third positive trait ummmm generous which again is kinda all in the same category but it’s like. like wyatt is insanely talented not just like as a witch tho he’s that too he’s also like really smart but he’s not a dick about it he’s one of those kids who’s always like i’ll help u with your homework! what r u doing after school later! like. he has a wealth of knowledge and he doesn’t just sit on it he likes to share. this is one of the reasons henry jr is also so close with wyatt because like. they both share this genuine love and interest in the study of like old magicks so to speak like. histories of witches and demons etc most classes the rest of the next gen honestly find kinda boring. on the flipside his negative traits would be like um a tendency to play by the book he’s a little too strict not because he necessarily believes in it but more again he wants to stay in line so as not to get you know. murdered or w/e. another negative trait is a i would say wyatt gets like way too overattached, especially in relationships, but it’s not limited to that. yes he’s a jump then fall guy & i’ve written about this before (multiple times), but i also think it’s the same with like innocents. like the fact of the matter is is that you literally cannot save anyone but wyatt has never and will never learn to accept that and i think he gets. he takes it real hard whenever he loses somebody and gets really pissy and closed off in the aftermath. a third negative trait is like. overprotective. like. in my writings he’s not the twice blessed anymore but he’s still wicked powerful, and he’s also like. the eldest. so he kind of feels this burden to protect his family. it doesn’t help that throughout their youth like chris ever the demon hunter always sought out trouble and leo who Really Didn’t Want To Watch Chris Die Again kind of always passed on whatever the mission was to wyatt. which, yeah, gave chris issues, but it also gave wyatt issues! because in his head, it really is his responsibility to handle these things for his family. and, yes, sometimes he can relinquish this power a little bit like not actively hover over his family while they’re demon hunting, but if he’s not you know. actively there, he’s either scrying or he’s sensing (if he can do that idk) and just. he’s got this feeling that anything bad that happens to his family is his fault. like he has this great power, so if someone gets hurt, like, he should have been there because he definitely could have stopped it. however, this energy kinda harshes everyone else’s buzz, which is why the other tend not to involve wyatt in their plotlines too much.

moving on to chris who just for the record i already wrote for but thanks to the beauty of this site i accidentally clicked the wrong button & now it's gone. so. take two! i don't remember what i said. okay so first trait i'm giving him is. i honest to god cannot remember what i said previously no wait that's a lie because i remember now because it was interesting. because i think chris is interesting, and i think that's a good thing. because like. i wouldn't describe him as likeable i would not say he has the personality trait of Likable™ because like. he doesn't. but people still really like him. because he is interesting. like they see him and go huh wow i wanna know what's going on there all in all i think people kinda gravitate towards him. but of course flipside i think he doesn't necessarily choose to become friends with everyone who approaches him i think he tends to be a bit picky just because you know he's so guarded so i think he has friends but no like. really super close friends. so like first negative trait is he kinda appears aloof because i mean. he's kinda gotta lotta issues you know and it's not something you can really easily explain to someone non-magical because magic is so deeply ingrained into who he is (which also adds to the aloofness because there are just certain topics he'll drop certain things he just won't talk about and its not because he doesn't care or anything it's just like. that's a really big reveal and rather that spin some elaborate web of lies i think chris just like straight up does the i can't tell you that bit, which makes him seem you know well like aloof kinda a little bit dickish). and then of course there's also like. like a lot of vulnerability involved in understanding who chris is he really doesn't have any middle layers nothing that sits between the surface mortal chris and the charmed chris with an inferiority complex it's either you know it all or you know. he just seems aloof. but again like. i think he's interesting. so much so that a lot of people are just kinda willing to look past that. so like. a lot of just external relationships. surface level. & then another defining trait of his on the positive side is clever. because like. he's smart. like i think he's a really skilled witch i think he's an excellent spellcaster and then like. i also think he can do math and stuff (in my fic he is a coder so like. yeah.) but i think it's kind of beyond just like Oh He's Smart i think it's the way he applies his brains applies his knowledge that really kind of sets him apart from the rest i think he really is clever. and then third positive i think chris is resourceful. i think like. i think he likes to have a sense of indepence away from his family because like. i mean he is a halliwell and he doesn’t shy away from that but at the same time he doesn’t really want to like. lean on that rest on well the thing is it’s not even his laurels to rest on. he wants to have this sense of independence and he’s actually p good at getting it. like i having him living on his own (so 2 speak, he has like. 4 roommates? i’m p sure) and yeah he’s not super great at it from just like. a living perspective you know but he’s making it i think like paying his own rent all that and yeah like the food he eats isn’t great and his room is kind of always a disaster but like. he’s made it p far i think a lot farther than people thought he could no disrespect. so i think he's really able to take what lifes gives him and make the most out of it i don't think he likes to coast by on others' accomplishments. which kinda segues into the second negative trait which i think you probably could guess he's overly-independent like independent to a fault. because like. i think he really wants to define himself with kinda comes in a two-fold way because like. okay in-family he wants to. okay so like obvi, there's a major drop off in power between him and wyatt. and i think he's always kinda been insecure about it think what on earth caused such a cosmic fuck up that he's just a telekinetic and then his brother is like. a baby god. so i think chris really feels this need to prove himself worth of a place in the warren line like cement his skills as and really say you know i deserve this title. and then flipside!! he really doesn't want to rely on titles you know he doesn't want respect because he's a charmed one or because he's a halliwell he wants respect off his own merits he wants people to know him by his actions not the legacy he carries. (also maybe gives reason for chris to occasionally use the name chris perry in the altered timeline??) and then. kind of building off that negative trait for his third one i'm saying listless because like. i think the crucial difference between the chris from the dark timeline and chris from the light timeline is like. darktl!chris has always had purpose. like yes it's a shitty purpose it's a burden it's too much to place on one boy but he is the last halliwell you know it's like basically all on him to stop wyatt from you know annihilating the world. (someone should probably tell him the cupitches exist in the dark future lmao) you know from like very very early on in his life darktl!chris has known he's destined for something big and honestly he might fail but he's gotta give it the ole college try because this is the world on his shoulders he's gotta put up a good fight for it. lighttl!chris literally does not have that. he does not have some grand, epic purpose, some monumental destiny to fulfill and like. what is he supposed to do, you know? why is he here? and he feels like he should have some epic destiny hmm well no not exactly he wants some epic destiny but he feels like if there were some epic destiny to be had it'd probably pass over him in favor for something better just like everything else in his life does. like why is he here? literally why is he here i mean okay so like disclaimer is that chris in my story is like. 20/21 and um. also a college dropout lmao haha and like. call a spade a spade we're probz looking at some undiagnosed depression here like give him a zoloft he'll be fine but like. chris feels like he's kinda on a raft in the middle of open ocean in a sense like. the best option is to pick a direction and paddle and hope he reaches land but he's literally in open ocean there are no markers no indicators he doesn't know where to go and like. if he picks wrong he's just heading closer and closer to nothing at all emptiness death whatever And There's No Way To Know Which Way Is Towards Land. and if he fucks up, like, he's screwed. shout out to all my early twenty-somethings. woot woot. but yeah. i think chris really wants a sense of purpose that simply put he does not have and honestly? will not be getting. i am not giving him a prophecy. i am not giving him a destiny. he will have to live with that. and, at this point in his life, i think he's doing a p bad job at that. lmao.

melinda!! baby girl. angel. honestly? i'm going to give her kind too because i think a large part of her just really wants to help people. i've previously called her the most-whitelightery of the next gen, & then also she is currently going to school with designs to become a nurse because like. she's also an empath you know and i think she definitely has aspirations to kind of mix her magical and mortal sides find a balance of both worlds and use her magic powers to enhance how she can better care for people in a mortal way. i'd also say she's really understanding. like, she's the third sibling to the wyatt-chris duo And she's an empath like. even if she doesn't get it, she gets it. like. things are complicated relationships are complicated like she can literally feel all sides of the story whenever there's a wyatt-chris-leo argument and like. what? is only one of them right? is only one of them allowed to feel the way they feel? no. she gets it. she all kinda understands where they're coming from. she understands. and then third positive trait she's really loving. like she's not a person who's stingy with her love (in a platonic sense. i think it a romantic sense it gets a lot more complicated because like. as an empath on the first date well it's just too weird man and it's. it's not like she can't keep her feelings sorted it's just like knowing exactly how they feel about her….. like it's weird. pass.) but i think she really like. i think she loves her family i think she loves her friends like. ❤. wow. on the more negative side i think she kind of like. self sacrificial. like she'll goes to the ends of the earth for the people she loves before she ever stops to think about herself. she doesn't. like she won't self advocate she won't draw a line in the sand when it comes to the ones she loves she fails to um. to see how sometimes her needs might actually be more important that others like. like if she loves you she will walk until her feet bleed. like. you have to be real careful because like. if you ask her to do something like she'll do it you can tack on that "but it's fine if no you don't have to" because if she feels your need to have this task done she'll do it. it's for love. but it's not good. (she will also extend this to non-loved ones again if she feels their need their like desperate need because at the end of the day she's a giver. hey kinda like the giving tree. i think she loves that book.) i also think she's just a shade naive and i kind of hesitate to use that word because like. i feel like it implies kind of a lack of worldly experience and like. melinda has seen a lot. but i think she like really does kind of see the world through rose colored glass i think she believes that people are intrinsically good and want to help each other and um. this can kinda tee her up for a lot of heartbreak and/or disillusionment with the world when kinda the reality is placed there right before her and it just kind of blows. i think it kind of hurts fresh every time. and then a third and final negative trait i think she like takes on too much, from an emotional standpoint, and doesn't really give anything back. kinda the same as self-sacrificial, but like with a twist. like, yes, as established, she has a lot of love in her heart, and she will take on her friend's emotional burdens (as well as any other burdens they might have for her) but then kinda gives nothing in return. she's a bit guarded in a sense. because again. this all comes back to the empath thing. kind of build on the dating thing. you really get live feedback on what exactly they think about you when you unpack, and like. melinda can't take that. she's too in her head on how this directly impacts their view of her and then she's just reading them and not focusing on her own problems you know like. like ladies if you've ever hit like. 1:30 in the morning at a slumber party when shit starts going from hehehe chetoh doost lasdkajldf to like. i don't think i could ever reasonably get married because divorce has really been the only constant in my life and i genuinely don't think i could trust another person enough to tie myself to them legally.? that's melinda's mcfuckin time to shine i think she does play therapist/peacemaker like a lot she likes it because again. she likes helping people! especially the people she loves!! but um. she'll never partake the other direction she really doesn't like getting vulnerable herself because like. you know if your friends are lying to you like you say something really personal and then cap it off with a y'know? and they all go yeah totally but you can feel them going what,,, the fuck. no?? like. like melinda could not take that it has not happened to her yet (probably) but she's come up with the hypothetical and she could not take that. this doesn't really extend to family just because she knows them so long like oh what chris thinks she's lame? okay. wyatt thinks she's overreacting? yeah i know what i've seen buddyboy. & then. for the record. neither or her brothers would never think she is lame or overreacting even If melinda is being lame or overreacting because they just like wouldn't they know her too well. but melinda's def the person who comes up with worst case hypotheticals in regards to her relationship/empathy powers like. all the time.

[lifeofroos]

Masterlist of retellings/fanworks:

This list is seperated by category, with a short summary of each story beneath the title. The older the story, the higher it is listed in the category. So for the newest, probably best stories, look at the very end! 

Greek Mythology:

Much too lovely a night for commitment: 

Apollo got himself drunk (Or, as he calls it, ‘a little tipsy’). Dionysus decides its time for him to take a break and they end up talking.  

I am not necesserialy asking for your blessing (But I'd love to get it):

Artemis' afternoon rest is disrupted by Ariadne, who has something to say. Artemis doesn't necessarily disagree, but...

The Night:

Ariadne wandered far into the forest at night. It makes Dionysus nervous, but she can't help but feel calm and in love.

Vultures:

Vultures, Athena called them. Enyo and Ares take a break from battle in the encampment. They have to kindly disagree with their sister.

Ghost Story:

Ariadne is awoken one night by a ghost girl named Cora. They keep meeting again and again, through different stages in their lives.

The girl who likes dogs: 

Hades needs someone to walk his dog a few days per week. He asks Persephone to do it, as she walks more people's dogs. Yet, that might not be the only reason he asked her...

Back: 

Dionysus thought it would be impossible to get his beloved Ariadne back. When she is there again, in front of him, he thinks it can't be real. There is no way he can just hold her now, and love her again...

The Queenly Ghost:

Ariadne raises the spirit of Pasiphae, her mother. Although she isn't sure exactly what to say, she knows she has to say something.

I Hope For The Future:

Hades comes to the surface for a moment to have a chat with Demeter. They are still new to their domains and it is unsure who their allies will be. They hope it'll be each other.

The Story Of Tonight:

They should have held back Artemis, Apollo and Hermes before they climbed onto the buffet table. Now that they are already drunkenly singing, it is a little too late, don't you think?

I’ve Got A Proposal:

Usually, Dionysus tends to be quite smooth. Not when asking the woman he finds the best if she wants to marry him, though.

Test Of Courage: 

Dionysus and Hephaestus are nearing Olympus, meaning the end of their quest is in sight. Hephaestus wonders whether he'll dare to complete the mission when the time is there. Dionysus tries to show him he probably will.

I Told Him To Try A Little Harder:

Zeus wants Hera as his queen. Hera wants Zeus to prove he really thinks she is worth his efforts, with something big. Something unexpected.

Hide (Just a little longer):

Hera will be the queen of the universe, with her husband Zeus as the king. There is no denying it. Yet, she would like to keep it under the covers for a little longer - until she knows she finds the courage to tell her mother.

Give Me Anything But The Giraffes:

During his meanderings, Dionysus came to Africa, too. Without his army, he trecks further south into the country. A guide helps him over the savanah, where they meet some creatures Dionysus hopes he'll never encounter again.

The Walk: 

Aglaia loves Hephaestus and the other way around. Yet, so shortly after Aphrodite left, they don't know what to do about it. Maybe it's better that way. It means they can slowly discover their love instead of crashing into it.

Right Hand Men:

In order to create a destructive power the world has never seen before, Ares and Enyo decide to get married. Right now, at this very moment.

Kiss Me Not (Yet):

Ariadne wants to kiss Dionysus, she really does. Yet when she tries, all she can do is recoil. All Dionysus wants is for her to feel comfortable.

Mind and Matter:

Hephaestus never expected Athena to show up to his forge ever again. When she is there anyway, it takes little for the tears to come out.

For I Am Not A Weapon To Be Wielded:

Phaedra can hardly accept the feelings she got for Hippolytus. She starts to wonder why she has them and soon enough, she decides she doesn't want to be a weapon of the gods anymore. A retelling of Phaedra's story. Because I stuck to the source material, I can only advise viewer discression. Contains themes of suicide.

Mom Isn’t That Angry:

After Dionysus hasn't been seen on Olympus for a long time, Athena is send out to find him. She does, in a sleeping bag somewhere in the middle of nowhere, healing from injury. She decides to sit by and hold his hand until he feels better. Sometimes, it's the wisest thing a person can do.

I wish I could keep him:

Due to the danger on Olympus, Zeus gives Dionysus to Persephone, so she can raise him in secret for some time. When spring comes, he needs to come with her. She can't help but hope that she can keep him, just slightly longer, even though she knows the danger makes her hope idle.

Egyptian Mythology:

Two-faced:

Set killed Osiris. When Isis left to search for him, she left her son Horus drifting down the Nile. How big is the chance that Sets' wife Nephthys finds him? She takes him in, but whenever Sets' with her, she can't tell: Does he know, or not? And what does this mean for the baby, or more importantly, for them?

Riordanverse:

Hotel Walhalla’s weird activities to the death:

We all know of sword-fighting, spear-throwing, and yoga to the death. Yet, what other weird, totally peaceful activities have they managed to make dangerous in hotel Valhalla?

Percy Jackson one-shots: 

In this book, I write Percy Jackson one-shots. Most of them were previously uploaded on my FanFiction and Wattpad account, but I decided to transfer them here as well! ! I write romance, random headcannons and ideas, cute stuff and funny ideas (No angst, very bloody stuff or anything like that). The One-shots get better in quality further in the book. The first ones are not amazing, but I added them to be complete. Update: I have decided to stop writig one-shots, but all of these stay right where they are!

At Least He Got The Minotaur:

Percy has just arrived in camp. A camper runs to Chiron and Dionysus to tell them. The camp directors are more than a little surprised at the news that a new, young camper could defeat a minotaur. It couldn't be the prophecy, could it?

There are always reasons: 

Percy is in camp to meet with some friends. He seizes a chance to ask Dionysus about why the god released him from the Chrysler building, all those years ago. He gets a more profound answer than expected.

This Might Be Crazy:

Nico has some issues and needs help - even he agrees. He is just not really sure if Dionysus of all people will be able to help him. Or: A fic in which Nico gets therapy from Dionysus, learns to live again and regains control of his life, inspired by what was said in Tower of Nero. Updates every three days! This fic was nominated for the Solangelo awards 2021.

Elevators and Boys keep me awake:

Nico is going through a tough time. Luckily, he has his upstairs neighbour Dionysus to help him. Or: A Nico-gets-therapy-from-Dionysus-story, but in a mortal AU.

The Biters:

Short stories about Clarisse, told via those around her, ranging from when she was a little girl to getting claimed to getting a boyfriend and becoming a hero.

A Question:

Nico figures out Will went to Dionysus a couple of times, with questions about how to make his boyfriend feel more comfortable. Nico finds it adorable, really.

 Loki (2021):

Maltesers: 

Loki notices Mobius carrying a bag with a sweet scent coming off of it. Perhaps he would like to try some of that, too.

See You later, Alligator: 

Loki is bored on Asgard. On a wim, he decided to transform a few things in his room into animals. After all, what can come from that except for some harmless fun?

Bohemian Rhapsody, or: Misschief on ice

Finding out that Loki can figure skate is one. Finding out that he has qualified himself for a world championship is in a whole other ballpark. Still, Mobius and Sylvie support him to the best of their abilities. Even when Loki decides to skate by his own rules.

Whoever you are:

Loki is gender fluid. Before they knew Mobius, they casually slipped in and out of different looks, whatever felt right at the moment. When they began dating, it suddenly felt so weird. Mobius tells them he'll love them, no matter who they are.

Rangers’ Apprentice:

High school could go many ways:  

 For a group of five orphans, the time for high school has come. Will is determined to get onto a sports team. Yet, is that truly what he wants, or has he been putting up an act for himself?

During all of this I have one question: 

Crowley has an idea and plays a prank on Gilan and Halt. They handle the situation quite well, I would say.

KoFi - AO3 

[elbracco]

LiS2 Fanfiction recommendation list - updated

I updated the ff list I made a few months ago. As before, if anyone has any suggestions to add, I’m all ears. I divided the stories into three categories (Post-ending, AUs and Missing Moments) and all the ffs on this list are either completed or still actively updated.

POST-ENDING

Blood Brothers: To Puerto Lobos - And Beyond! by SerratedCucumber, in progress. It starts as the brothers break into Mexico and follows them as they try to build a life for themselves. I swear that I hear Gonzalo and Roman every time that Sean or Daniel say something: the dialogue is that good. 11,000 words for now.

*

Lone Wolf: The One You Feed by zeldanerdster, in progress. This work follows the "Lone Wolf" path immediately after events unfold at the border. Following that, it will chronicle Daniel's experiences for as far as they take him in an effort to reconcile the various open-ended resolutions of Life is Strange 2. Because LW didn’t break our hearts enough. 20,500 words for now. Lone Superwolf by Dreamprism, in progress. The ff begins with Sean’s death at the border and aims to show how Daniel got from the car to the “six years later” scene. The fanfic is written from the perspective of Daniel Diaz, similar to how Sean shares his internal thoughts with the player throughout Life is Strange 2. 17,000 words for now.

*

Parting Ways: After by koldtbold, one-shot. Sean gets to Mexico, Daniel doesn’t. Sean has a lot to do and think about. What I love about this story is that there’s much bitter and little sweet, but like in the game there’s an undercurrent of optimism, a feeling that tomorrow can still turn into a better day. 6,000 words. When There’s Nowhere Else to Run, by Autumnyte, in progress. It begins right after Daniel yeets himself from the car and follows Sean as he tries to build a life for himself in Puerto Lobos. I told Autumnyte that this story feels like a blanket: it’s warm and comfortable. No matter what issues Sean has to deal with, there is a pervasive undertone of "tomorrow will be better" that I think really captures the spirit of the game. He is done running, and he can now start to look to the future with hope. 31,000 words for now.

*

Redemption:

The Bravest Wolf in the World by RoodAwakening, 2 chapters left. Ask anyone for reading suggestions, and they’ll inevitably point you to this story, for a reason. Sean finds out he can use his sketches to time-travel, much like Max did with her photos, prevents Esteban’s death, and has to deal with the consequences as he tries to navigate the new life he made for himself. Wonderful characters, a realistic depiction of trauma, and golden dialogue. I love this Sean, I love the people in his life, I love his interactions with all the characters. 160,000 words (!) for now. A Howl in the Night by Bracco, one-shot. Sean is in prison, and Daniel is free: it’s everything that Sean had wanted when he surrendered. That means he can be happy… right? 28,500 words. Tomorrow's Horizon by AlariOdonell, in progress. A mysterious stranger recruits a post-bay Max Caulfield with the promise to bring Chloe back to life and to right a few wrongs along the way, like those suffered by two brothers. I am very partial to this story because it ticks every box in my list of narrative kinks: a well-written OC, an incoming threat, superpowers, misfits teaming up, IC characters, action and fuzzy feelings... 52,000 words for now, updated bi-weekly. Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want by DarkJaden825698, one-shot. After his sentence, Sean reconnects with some old friends and says some things he didn't get to say when he had the chance. This story is a warm, fuzzy thing where everything goes well for a change. I may also be very partial to the title: that song is tied to some of my fondest memories, so extra points to the author. 4,000 words. Spirit Realm: Road to Redemption by Sombraguerrero, completed. Sean has served his sentence, abbreviated by a lack of success on the authorities' part to attain burden of proof on the supposed major crimes. The public has run out of patience and has allowed Sean and Daniel to try and pick up the pieces, with as much help as they can get along what is once again a rough road. 21,000 words. Stay Strange by DarkJaden825698, completed. Dr. Bright is assigned to Sean Diaz as his therapist in prison, and walks him through his trauma while trying to find him a lawyer to challenge his sentence. Crossover fic between LiS2 and The Bright Sessions podcast - you don’t know anything about the podcast? Me neither, and it’s not an issue. 32,000 words.

AUs

And All These Empty Streets by Riona, one-shot. After the apocalypse, Sean and Daniel have a run-in with Joel and Ellie from TLOU. I think that this is the story that made me realize how I love Sean and Daniel so much that I’m willing to read the weirdest AUs and crossovers so long. It flows really well and it feels natural. 2,000 words.

Riona has written a lot of stories that start from an unexpected premise and draw a little vignette. They are all different from each other and I loved them all. Check out her AO3 profile! Can you give me a hint by Idnis, completed. Teenage Daniel/Chris. If you like “mutual pining” and “dumb idiots in love”, this story will make your day. It’s just... fluffy and sweet and innocent, a tiny bit of teenage drama that Daniel and Chris deserve after everything they’ve been through. 22,500 words. Closer to the Heart by darkjaden825698, in progress. After the shooting, Sean waits for the police to arrive. He’s cleared of all charges and sent to live to Beaver Creek, where he must come to terms with what happened and rebuild a life for himself. A teen drama where nothing bad happens to the boys and they get to live normal lives? Hit me with it. 4,000 words. Double exposure by Riona, completed. It draws inspiration from *Your Name*: Max and Sean begin swapping bodies at random. If the premise doesn’t turn you away, it’s a beautiful bittersweet story about two people trying to help each other while their own worlds are falling apart. 11,000 words. Faithless by HollowK, in progress. Six years after the failed heist, Sean wakes up from his coma and has a brother to find. Exactly: oof. 6,500 words for now. I Took Both Roads, series by owlmug. AU where Esteban isn’t shot. Sean/Finn (with some Sean/Cassidy in the first story). It’s a coming of age story, and I really loved how the author mirrored some situations that are found in the game by giving them a new twist. I won’t lie, these stories hurt, because they made me think about what could have been. The characters are spot on, and the interactions of the Diaz family are golden. Bonus points for having Sean behave like a teenage brat at times, because the boy deserved to have temper tantrums and getting into fights with Esteban over stupid stuff. There are also a lot of beautiful images across the series, a lot of lines that feel raw and powerful, and a lot of healing. At times it’s like having a heart-to-heart with the author. Sometimes I felt that the sex scenes were too long, and some of them I found unnecessary, but that’s just my personal taste. I really liked all the four stories, but the last one is my favourite for sure because it follows Esteban’s point of view and it’s *chef’s kiss*.

 1.       A Way to Reappear (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19096837), 18,000 words. Sean’s POV

2.       A Piece of the Puzzle (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19386670), 26,000 words. Sean’s POV

3.       A Little left Behind (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19852561), 24,000 words. Finn’s POV

4.       (I’ve Been Going Through) a Change (https://archiveofourown.org/works/20562086), 28,000 words. Esteban’s POV.

If I Lay Here by owlmug, completed. Diverges from canon after episode 3. Sean and Finn try to track Daniel down. Sean/Finn, 46,500 words. I can repeat here most of what I wrote for the earlier series: wonderful characterization, beautiful imagery, touching themes, characters that find themselves along the way. Something that makes you go “Please, sir, can I have some more?” at the end of every chapter. i just don’t know how i’m doing (i’m so curious about you) by Larrymurphycansteponme, one-shot. Another High School AU, another wonderful coming of age story for Sean. I wish I could make it justice without repeating everything I said about owlmug’s series: spot-on characterization, a beautiful narrative about growing up and finding one’s way, wonderful imagery. It’s the story of what Sean deserved to have, and one of my favorite ever. 28,000 words.

MISSING MOMENTS

A Night With Misty Mice by That_one_internet_lover, completed. It follows Sean and Lyla’s concert night that is mentioned in his phone chat in ep.1. It’s the first fanfiction I read after my endgame heartbreak: it gave me all the happy Sean I wanted, and even a bit more. The dynamic between him and Lyla is exactly what I pictured from their interactions in the game, put into words by someone who knows what they’re doing. 10,000 words. Astray by Riona, one-shot. Daniel leaves Sean behind after the events of Wastelands. It’s probably more of an AU than a Missing Moment, since it was written before Faith came out and so it’s not entirely canon-compliant, but it’s still a very good window on Daniel’s state of mind after the heist. I’m eternally grateful to Riona for filling some of the gaps that the game left in the development of these wonderful characters. 1,500 words.  Fire and Floods by Riona, one-shot. Sean and Daniel go on the run, and this fic covers the first day of their journey. A spot-on dissection of Sean’s feelings after the shooting. 1,500 words. life is strange 2 poems by Spotsuns, an ongoing collection of one-shots. These stories have all the oooffness of the game. The stories in here hurt. In the good way, but they hurt nonetheless. Beautiful character studies, and some heavy-duty, post-ending feel unpacking. 11,000 words. Never Stop Shining by CorazonDesnudo, in progress. During his stay in Away, Sean receives a letter from Finn with an offer to help him and Daniel cross the border. It’s a chance to come to terms with a lot of things he didn’t really process before. 11,000 words for now. Torchbearers by Riona. Ep.1’s Sean and Daniel run into Max and Chloe among the ruins of Arcadia Bay. I can definitely see this story being a moment of quiet in the game. 2,600 words. What Remains of the Diaz Family by That_one_internet_lover, completed. Lyla sneaks into the Diaz household after the brothers have disappeared. Heartbreaking oofness ensues as Lyla walks through their memories and faces her own pain. 6500 words.

[mediaevalmusereads]

Strange the Dreamer. By Laini Taylor. New York: Little, Brown Books, 2017.

Rating: 4/5 stars

Genre: YA fantasy

Part of a Series? Yes, Strange the Dreamer #1

Summary: The dream chooses the dreamer, not the other way around— and Lazlo Strange, war orphan and junior librarian, has always feared that his dream chose poorly. Since he was five years old he’s been obsessed with the mythic lost city of Weep, but it would take someone bolder than he to cross half the world in search of it. Then a stunning opportunity presents itself, in the person of a hero called the Godslayer and a band of legendary warriors, and he has to seize his chance or lose his dream forever. What happened in Weep two hundred years ago to cut it off from the rest of the world? What exactly did the Godslayer slay that went by the name of god? And what is the mysterious problem he now seeks help in solving? The answers await in Weep, but so do more mysteries—including the blue-skinned goddess who appears in Lazlo’s dreams. How did he dream her before he knew she existed? And if all the gods are dead, why does she seem so real?

***Full review under the cut.***

Content Warnings: blood, violence, drug use, rape, sexual slavery, abduction and imprisonment

Overview: I really enjoyed Laini Taylor’s Daughter of Smoke and Bone trilogy, so I decided to give her new work a go. Overall, I also really enjoyed Strange the Dreamer because it had a lot of things that are characteristic of Taylor’s writing that I love - lush, lyrical prose; tragic, star-crossed love; a political conflict involving otherworldly creatures. The reason why I’m giving this book 4 instead of 5 stars mainly has to do with the pacing and the way events played out. There wasn’t anything wrong, I think, with the way Taylor handled her story - it’s just that I felt like things started to rush to a close too quickly, and I would have liked to spend more time in the book exploring character emotions.

Writing: Taylor’s prose tends to fall into two categories: lyrical and descriptive or straight-forward and economical. Part 1 of this book is more lyrical; the metaphors are more fantastical and the prose evokes a sense of longing and fascination. Taylor really captures the feeling of being immersed in a library, surrounded by stories, as well as what it’s like to have a dream (not a dream in your sleep - more like a goal or a wish that has a small or nonexistence likelihood of coming true). Part 1 was probably my favorite part of the book for this reason, as subsequent sections tended to lose that lyrical quality and fall into a style more typical of YA books.

Taylor’s pace is also fairly well-done in that I didn’t feel like I was being rushed or that I was plodding through the book. The only thing I would change in terms of pacing is the book’s ending; I felt a lot of things were dropped on the reader all at once, and though they were foreshadowed earlier in the book (which I very much appreciated), I tend not to like endings where too much happens.

Before I close this section, a couple of notes on descriptions and worldbuilding: though I know teenagers have sexual urges, I was a little put off by the descriptions of teenagers’ bodies in certain places. I can remember a few instances where Taylor describes the look of one character’s breasts, and though it wasn’t gratuitous, I didn’t like that these descriptions were included. I also thought the worldbuilding detail of “women get tattoos on their bellies as a rite of passage/coming of age marker when they become fertile and Sarai longs for one of her own” was a little uncomfortable. It made me feel like the world Taylor built was concerned with showcasing female reproductive capacity, and that just seems exclusionary. While it could have worked if the story was more about pushing back against reproductive regulation or exploring what such tattoos would mean for trans characters, as the book stands, that doesn’t really happen, so it was a weird detail that I felt distracted from the main themes.

Plot: This book primarily follows Lazlo Strange - an orphan who dreams of finding the lost city of Weep - and Sarai - the daughter of a dead god and a human who must hide her existence in order to stay alive. Lazlo is surprised one day when some inhabitants of Weep - led by someone called “the Godslayer” - show up in his library, asking for assistance from the land’s greatest scientists. Though Lazlo isn’t a scientist, he is the most knowledgeable person about Weep and its culture, so the Godslayer elects to take him along. Meanwhile, Sarai and several other demigods live in a secluded Sanctuary, hiding from the inhabitants of Weep so that they won’t be slain on account of their parentage.

Without spoiling anything (which is kind of hard, since there is a lot that happens), I will say that I really liked the central conflict of this book. Taylor does a good job of setting up a problem with no black-and-white solutions; it seems like everyone had a legitimate reason for acting the way they do, and no matter what happens, someone will be hurt.

But perhaps the thing I appreciated most about the plot was that Taylor never sets up a surprise twist that comes out of nowhere. I feel like I’ve read a lot of YA books that drop a bomb on the reader with no set up, and I personally feel like such twists make the story feel less cohesive. Taylor sets up all her reveals and twists by dropping hints early and frequently, and rather than make the story feel dull, I felt like they made the end emotionally fulfilling.

If I had one criticism of the plot it would be that the romance doesn’t feel genuine. Lazlo and Sarai seem to fall in love with each other too quickly, which made it seem like they got together because they just hadn’t had opportunities to meet other people. I didn’t see what they saw in each other aside from looks and special qualities like “oh, he’s able to share my dreams” or “she was kind to me when so many other people weren’t.” I wanted more out the romance, like Sarai falling for Lazlo’s kindness and Lazlo falling for Sarai’s compassion towards those who would harm her. Maybe there was some of that, but it was definitely overshadowed by lengthy descriptions of kissing, which I wasn’t much a fan of. I also wasn’t really a fan of the “dates” that they went on; some parts were cute, but overall, they dragged.

Characters: Lazlo, one of our protagonists, is likeable in that he’s pretty much the embodiment of a lot of book nerds. He starts off shy, completely absorbed with fairy tales and folklore, and loves to roam the abandoned stacks in his library. What I liked most about him, though, was his willingness to help people even if they treat him poorly. For example, there’s a character named Theryn Nero who is basically a Science Bro. He’s rich, beloved by everyone, and gets famous for cracking the secret of alchemy. While he puts himself up as the lone genius, he was actually aided by Lazlo and takes sole credit for a lot of things that Lazlo proved to be key in discovering. Lazlo, though annoyed, never lets his feelings get in the way of helping Nero when the greater good is at stake, and I really admired that.

If I had any criticisms of Lazlo, it would be that I wish his “dreamer” status or knowledge base was put to better use. After Lazlo gets to Weep, he isn’t quite as interesting as he was before, probably because he no longer needs to use his vast knowledge of stories to make his way through the world.

Sarai, our other protagonist, is fairly sympathetic in that all her problems feel undeserved. She is forced to stay locked away in a hidden Sanctuary in order to protect herself and her little found family (composed of other demigods), and though it’s for the best, it also feels stifling. I really liked that Sarai was not single-mindedly fixated on revenge for the things that happened in her past. Without spoiling anything, I will say that something happened which put the demigods and inhabitants of Weep in conflict with one another, and there is no easy solution that would guarantee that the demigods stay alive. Sarai has a lot of dreams like Lazlo - of finding family, of living a normal life, of living among the humans - but it’s not really viable for her, and instead of letting hate consume her, she tries to think up other ways of existing.

Sarai’s “family” is also charming. The group consists of 5 demigods who are the last remaining offspring of the slain gods, and all of them feel fairly complex. They all possess some kind of magical “gift”: there’s Sarai (who can produce supernatural “moths” that allow her to enter people’s dreams), Ruby (a girl who can turn herself into flames), Feral (the only boy, and he can summon clouds), Sparrow (a girl who can manipulate plants), and Minya (a girl who can make ghosts do her bidding). I liked that these characters had different personalities that often put them in conflict. Ruby is boy-crazy and seems to be obsessed with sex. Sparrow is more passive but has sweet moments where she makes a “flower cake” for Ruby’s birthday and braids Sarai’s hair. Minya is completely consumed by her desire for revenge, and it presents some real barriers to finding a solution to the group’s problems.

The supporting characters down in Weep are also fairly compelling. The Godslayer is sympathetic in that he doesn’t revel in his heroic image or title; instead, he feels complex and seemingly warring emotions tied to guilt over what happened to Weep and his role in it almost 20 years prior to the events of this book. The Godslayer’s companions are also sympathetic and have emotions that are easy to understand, and I loved that they seemed to take to Lazlo so quickly. They welcome all outsiders with open arms, but they have a soft spot for Lazlo, which I liked because it meant that he didn’t have to face bullying or gatekeeping from people he had longed to meet his entire life.

The inhabitants of the world outside of Weep were interesting. There’s Theryn Nero, who seemed like he would be a primary antagonist but doesn’t have enough “screen time” to truly be a threat. I liked that his conflict with Lazlo was low-key - it was intense enough to be annoying, but no so intense that their rivalry consumed the whole story or put petty emotions above the greater good. The other “scientists” who follow the Godslayer back to Weep served their purpose; not all of them had rich, complex lives, but they didn’t really need to because if they did, the story would feel crowded.

Overall, there weren’t any characters I disliked, per se. While I do wish Lazlo got to develop differently, there wasn’t much wrong with his character, and I think all of the main players had interesting backstories and motivations, and I appreciated the layer of complexity they all had. I do wish there had been more queer characters though. There is one wlw couple, though they aren’t too prominent in the grand scheme of things. Of course, that could change, as there is a whole second book to go through, but I wish some of the demigods had been lgbt+ so it felt like Taylor’s world wasn’t overwhelmingly straight and cis.

TL;DR: Despite some pacing problems at the end and minor details that didn’t fit my personal tastes, Strange the Dreamer is a lush, evocative fantasy about the power of dreams. Readers who enjoy epic fantasy and stories about gods, star-crossed love, and will probably adore this book.

[candyload302]

Airtable And Notion

Before using Notion, I used Trello, Google Calendar, Google Keep, Google Drive, Evernote, and countless other applications to keep my life on track. They were all terrific applications, but switching between them just for changes in features quickly became a chore – staying productive became a chore.

Notion Table Without Title

It took me at least a year before I settled on the best productivity app. I even switched to paper agendas and bullet journaling, but my lack of art skills killed that dream. I needed something centralized and consolidated; a place for anything and everything in my life.

Last year I dove deep into Notion but then discovered Airtable. Unable to find a video explaining the two, I decided to compare Notion and Airtable.

Integrations help you automatically move information back and forth between Airtable and other apps. Airtable has built-in support for many popular apps and a robust API. Use Zapier, Workato, Integromat, or Automate.io to connect Airtable with over 1000 websites and apps.

Let's start with the similarities. All three are a new type of online collaborative surface that goes beyond documents or spreadsheets to make it easier to organize data, communicate, and work together. The three flavors are:. Database: Airtable.

That app was – a digital productivity application that provides easy-to-use features in task management, organization, and more.

I’m not the only one raving over this product. On Capterra, a software comparison website, Notion is rated in the in task management software, document management software, remote work software, and collaboration software for 2020. Its clean and functional platform has attracted more than one million users in two years.

What features does Notion have?

From study trackers to personal journaling, Notion has a huge variety of templates. The app is highly customizable with its pages, task lists, kanban boards, and dashboards.

One of the most commonly used features is the task list, which is a replacement for apps like Todoist. Notion provides an easy way to tick tasks off your list, just like you would on a planner. The digital version lets you move around and rearrange the items as needed. I keep a task list for every day of the week at the bottom of my central dashboard, rearranging them when necessary or changing them to different days. Once ticked off, the line grays out.

One of the best features is the ability to create new pages and each one of those pages can have their own subtopics. I have more than 15 pages that help me manage all aspects of my life, including freelancing, Urban Asian, my website, and school. Within those pages, oftentimes, I create more subpages to keep organized. It sounds complicated, but it basically mimics pieces of paper inside folders. Within my freelancing pages, for example, I have a long list filled with possible pitches, embedded links at the bottom with resources, and a subpage with editorial contacts in an Airtable-style spreadsheet. Meanwhile, my Urban Asian board is a simple kanban board to track the status of several articles. Being able to combine a variety of formats without leaving the platform is a huge advantage – most other apps I've used give me one or two of these layout types, but not all of them.

Drop-down lists and kanban boards are often used in Notion spreads as well. Users can also change statuses on various subtasks to be able to track things at a glance. Notion also allows users to embed links, create Airtable-like bases, add quotes, lists, files, and images.

A clean user experience

Notion really aces UX design, using white space to provide a clean and fresh look. The emojis used on each page are aesthetically pleasing and functional for identifying categories of information. For instance, my school subpage has a school emoji and my personal journal page has a journal emoji, making it easier to find within all of the subpages created on the platform.

Although it can take time to master, the effort learning Notion pays off.

When you first land on the Notion workspace page, the interface is completely blank – a fresh space to create a beautiful dashboard. Its Lego-like structure allows users to build up their dashboard how they see fit; many have taken the opportunity to design their own layouts and teach others how to do the same. For example, on my dashboard, I added an emoji, a name to my workspace, general goals, a list of all my subpages linked for easy access, a picture of myself, and below all of that, a general list of tasks for the week. This freedom to add anything to not only the front dashboard, in addition to any subpages, mimics the usefulness of widgets on your phone's home screen. You can check the weather at a glance, so you get in and out, and then onto the actual work you need to do.

Notion's drawbacks

Notion has a built-in calendar option, but it can't be integrated with Google or Apple Calendar. This is frustrating if most invites to meetings or time-blocking are done through another service like Google Calendar. The pain will be particularly acute for organizations, which probably already have a calendar that's integrated with their email suite. There is also no offline mode for desktop usage.

Other tools have powerful software integrations and are more thoroughly developed in certain sectors, such as notes, bases, or calendars. Although some might find Airtable, Evernote, and Google Calendar as better organizational tools for some of these functions, Notion provides a centralized workspace that works well enough in all of these areas that I don't notice the loss of features. Even without a full suite of features, Notion's other virtues pay off.

Notion uses a freemium model for pricing. While their free plan works well for individuals with unlimited pages and blocks, businesses can opt for a paid pricing plan of $8 per member per month. The paid plans provide a more collaborative workspace with unlimited team members.

Final Thoughts

Tables In Notion

Notion brought my love for working back. Having my thoughts down in one place helped me gain a lot of time and energy back in my life. It connected the lines between my personal life, such as my health and journaling, with my professional life, such as tracking freelancing articles and emails. I still use other applications, but much less frequently. Notion is truly the superior productivity app and encapsulates features that anyone could love and use for every aspect of their life.

[ghostlywriterneon]

KuraNeon Week. Day One - Maid/Butler

Title: Worlds Worst Best Maid

Rating: General Audience

Theme: Royalty AU

Description: The Kurta Kingdom was a kingdom isolated from the rest of the world. It refused to be apart of foreign politics and remained neutral to any outsiders war. There was no reason for it to be attacked an burned to the ground. However, the whims of the Phantom King were unknown to all. Kurapika, the sole survivor of the Kurta Kingdom royal family intends to get his revenge for his kingdom to simply be a casualty to a mad mans whims. On his travels, he meets a young runaway by the name Neon. They both agree that Phantom King needs to go and decided to team up. Though, why the hell does she want to be his maid?!

Traversing the woods was once something Kurapika would enjoy. He would run and play with his friend Pairo while they skipped out on boring lessons. Being royalty meant he had to take all sorts of mind numbing lessons. He knew how to sit, eat and speak. He didn’t need an entire lecture on it every morning. Running free in the woods with his friend was the great escape from the reality he lived. Out here he wasn’t a prince. He was just a kid. Out here he didn’t have any responsibilities. He was free to do as he pleased. It was a wonderful time and how he wished it could have lasted.

Now, traversing the woods is a heavy burden. It reminds him that he took those days for granted. He hated the responsibilities of being a royal and ran to the woods to escape them. Now here in the woods he can think of nothing but his responsibilities as a royal. Here in the woods, the only thing he has left is the title of being a prince. The rest was burnt down to ashes with his kingdom. His friends, family, and his people were nothing more than ashes in the wind.

How it happened, Kurapika does not remember. He was awoken in the middle of the night and told to run as far and as fast as he could from the kingdom. He didn’t really understand what was happening at the time. He that being there was dangerous so he would have to leave, however, he didn’t think that his family would end up dead and his kingdom fallen. He regrets that he listen to them that day. Nothing would have changed if he had stayed. He simply would have been another casualty, but then, at least, he could be with his family.

“Gah!!”

The scream and the sudden sound of someone hitting the ground pulled him from his thoughts. He turned back to observe his fallen maid. She was face first on the ground with her foot caught between roots. Hopefully she hadn’t twisted it.

“See? This is why I told you not to wear heels.”

At that, she shot up onto her hands and gave him a glare that was mixed with a pout. Ah, no tears. She was perfectly fine. Still, he should probably help her out.

“Heels had nothing to do with my foot getting stuck in these dumb roots! And how was I supposed to know we were gonna travel in the woods?! I thought we were going to stick to the path! Not go on some hiking trip!”

Oh yeah, she was definitely fine. As she was yelling at him, he helped free her foot and lifted her off of the ground, brushing off any dirt of leaves that may have clung to her dress. Honestly, he was beginning to wonder who was really the maid here.

“I told you we were going off the path when I told you not to wear those heels. The main path leads to the main entrance to the town, obviously. We are going to sneak in through the side. Unless you feel like getting caught and being dragged back to your dad?”

She pouted and grumbled at this, saying that she doesn’t remember him saying anything about that. But at least her complaints stopped there and they could continue traveling.

Calling her a maid is a bit of a stretch, honestly. They only thing she had going for herself in the maid category was that she was a noble. Everything else was, well, she did her best, he’ll give her that. She had no idea how to cook, clean, or even sew. She was a bit spoiled and can be bratty at times, but she wore her heart on her sleeve. She didn’t scheme or have any ill intentions towards anyone. Even the people she hated, she would not wish death upon them. Though the ‘I’m going to make them suffer’ was a bit concerning. For now, she was the only one he could trust.

Currently, they were traveling in the York New territory. This territory is owned by the kingdom that destroyed his. Clearly, not a soul could be trusted within this territory, nor this kingdom. Save for one person. His maid. Her name is Neon Nostrade. Her family is the noble house that runs the York New territory. Her family had started from nothing, until her father realized that his daughter had an incredible gift. She could see the future. Normally in this world, the only people that could perform magic were the ones from royal descent. Even then, there were no records of a royal family having the ability of clairvoyance. Neon was truly an oddity of this world and her father made sure to exploit that. He took ‘selling your daughter’ to a different meaning. He built his fortune by having his daughter sell her fortunes. It wasn’t too bad, per say, until they caught the king’s eyes.

In order for them to gain noble status and the land of York New, her father made an agreement that she was to marry their king. She would be a ‘wife’ in title, but from what Neon has stated, she would be more of a tool made to sit there and spill fortunes when called upon. This didn’t sit well with the girl and after begging her father to drop the arrangement, she decided that she was better off running away. Soon after that, Neon and him ran into each other and ended up becoming allies. He realized that she wasn’t going to betray him for money, fame or anything of that sort since she ran from it. She also appeared to hate her king because of the arrangement so that was something they could both agree on.

Though, why she decided to pick up the ‘maid’ role, however, he has no idea. He was fine with traveling with each other without care of status, but apparently she wanted to be a maid. Oh how he wished he stopped her. If he had to choke down her cooking one more night he may die.

“Hmm, Kura, we might want to spend the night out here. From what I can see, there’s going to be a lot of guards in the town tonight. We’re probably going to get caught even if we go through the side.”

Though her clairvoyance makes any struggle with her more than worth it. He nodded at her words then turned away from the direction of the town. It will be better if they set up camp a bit further from the town’s borders. That way any wandering guard would have little chance of spotting them.

“Alright. Let’s see if we can’t find a clearing to set up camp. We only have one tent so we will have to share.”

“Mkay! Luckily I thought to pack us extra food! I can whip something really nice up while you’re setting up the tent!”

Oh, is bile already rising to his throat? Just at the mere suggestion of her cooking? Oh dear ancestors please give him the strength to make it out of this meal alive. He cannot avenge you if he dies an early death.

“… Wonderful…”

Finding a spot wasn’t too hard, luckily. It was a small clearing with a stream running right by. It was far enough away from the town where they wouldn’t have to worry about someone catching them out here; however, it was far enough where they would have to worry about animals lurking about. He would have to lay-out of few traps just to be safe.

Dinner was as awful as he expected it to be. He assumes his ancestors heard his payers since he didn’t immediately vomit afterwards. That or he’s getting used to the bad tasting food, which is a terrifying thought. Please let his taste buds be intact after this journey.

They decided on an early bedtime. Hopefully they can catch the shift between the night guards and the day guards and sneak in then. Neon has mentioned that the guards in these parts are rather lazy and will leave their post without waiting for the next guard to take their place. Hopefully this will remain true when they go to enter.

He waited for Neon to give him the go ahead to enter the tent. He had changed into his night clothes outside, while he let Neon change inside of the tent. When she called, she was already curled up in her blankets with her face buried in the pillowed part of her bedroll. He went into his without saying a word to her. It would be best if they fall asleep quickly, they would have to be up early tomorrow and he knew that was going to be a struggle for Neon.

Though, as soon as he was settled into his bedroll, he felt a pair of eyes on him. They sat in silence for a moment. He wasn’t going to say anything if she wasn’t. Though, when the silence was finally broken, he was surprised by the question.

“Hey, Kura? Are you okay? You were really quiet today. Like, more quiet than normal.”

He shifted to lie facing her. She had her blanket covering most of her face, only leaving her eyes exposed. It seemed like she was a bit nervous and concerned. Neon never really struck him as someone who would be concerned for others. She was self-centered and cared about her own issues and problems over others. He supposes he’s become one of her issues she has to care over. She was his self-proclaimed maid, after all.

“I’m fine, Neon. Please do not worry. You should be more concerned about yourself. There’s a snake on you.”

Maybe he shouldn’t have done that. The scream she let out was way too loud. Though, watching her flail was pretty funny. He couldn’t help but to chuckle.

“I’m sorry, that was a lie. There’s nothing there.”

“What!? Are you serious!? That’s not funny you big bully!!”

She launched out of her bedroll to start smacking his arms and chest while calling him all sorts of childish names. He couldn’t help but to laugh more at this. After all, what kind of maid starts hitting their boss?

“Mean, ugly, stupid jerk-!”

Her insults stopped when he started to pull at her cheek. He was nearly grinning as he teased her more.

“Hm? I thought you were my maid? Good maids wouldn’t call their prince names, least of all hit them.”

Her cheeks puffed out as her pout grew more intense. She snatched his hand from her cheek and used it to smack his face.

“Bully! I am a great maid! Jeez! What’s with you today?! Acting all quiet and now making fun of me! Who are you and what have you done with Kura?!”

He pulled his arm out of her grasp, chuckling again. Perhaps this is a bit out of character for him, but it was too easy to tease her. Maybe it was because he was getting a bit too comfortable around her. But it had been far too long since he last let himself relax and enjoy himself like this. He was always focused on avenging his people and being rid of the Phantom King. As the sole survivor of his kingdom, it was his duty. He couldn’t goof off or play around; he had to complete his mission. However, he found it hard to stay cold and distant around Neon. Despite her flaws, she was nice to be around. It was hard not to crack a smile at her antics or shake his head as she finds her way into trouble. Really, he wonders how far he truly would have gotten without her by his side.

With a smile, he sat up and lightly patted her head.

“I’m right here, Neon. Now get some rest. I don’t want you to be cranky in the morning.”

She blushed. Though, whether it was from him patting her head or past memories of Kurapika attempting to wake her up, he wasn’t sure. She grumbled slightly, but she slipped back into her bedroll, still facing him. Back in the same position as before, with her eyes peeking out, she watched him a bit more. The blush on her face was still there as she turned and mumbled a quiet goodnight to him.

He returned back in his sheets, this time facing her. Yes. He was really lucky to have her by his side.

“Goodnight, Neon.”

[awkwardlittlepringle]

Queer ‘n Crazy

Hello fellow Fanders! This is kinda my first sanders sides fanfiction, and my first fanfic on Tumblr! The layout will most probably change over the course of this, and constructive criticism is very much appreciated. 😊

Ships : Analogical, background Royality.

Blurb thing : To say Virgil Black hasn’t had the easiest life would be an understatement. Considering all he’s been through, it’s no surprise that he has a few mental illnesses. But that doesn’t mean he appreciates being thrown into some government experiment, even if he does have a gorgeous roommate. 

THIS WILL CONTAIN MENTIONS OF AN ABUSIVE HOUSEHOLD, MENTAL ILLNESSES INCLUDING DEPRESSION, ANXIETY AND BI-POLAR DISORDER, AND SUICIDE/SUICIDAL THOUGHTS. IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO THESE SUBJECTS, I WOULD ADVISE YOU NOT TO READ THIS. There will be trigger warnings at the beginning of each chapter, so stay safe, buddies!

Next Chapter

................

Virgil Grant sighed as Set It Off began to play over his headphones. Wincing, he lifted his hand up to brush the side of his face, where a patch of his skin was flaming red. Judging by the stinging, it was definitely going to bruise. Not that Virgil wasn't used to bruises, he'd had his fair share. And not just from testosterone fueled jerks, either.

Despite the music blasting in his ears, Virgil heard a faint shout of " Hey faggot!" come from the neighbors garden. He kept his eyes on his shoes as he walked, too tired to bother dealing with the snide-comments made by the neighbors kids. While he knew he was safe, he couldn't help his heart from picking up the pace.

The comment was usually associated with a fist to the face.

He dragged himself up his doorsteps, shoulders sagging. Humming along to Hourglass, he reached into his coat pocket for the small key that would permit him entry into the brick house in front of him.  A few moments later he unlocked the door to his foster parent's home. Comforting cinnamon-scented warmth enveloped him, a welcomed change from the strangely chilly air outside.

"Janice?" His voice rung through the empty corridor as he made his way down. Despite the fact he was wearing a coat and his hoodie, Virgil shivered at the heavy silence that seemed to have set over the house. "Virgil? We're in the living room, honey." Virgil made a beeline for the door, for a distraction from his troubled thoughts. He moment he stepped through the doorway, he was attacked by a swirl of auburn hair and green shawls. Virgil grinned as he returned his foster mother's hug.

"Virgil! How was school?" She drew away, before gasping. "What happened to your face?"

Virgil frowned, before bringing his hand up to touch the still stinging bruise on his left cheek. "Oh. It's nothing." "Was it those boys again?" asked her husband Mike from his spot on the couch. Virgil nodded. "Yeah. It's no big deal though, they got detention from Mrs Black afterward."

"Still, Virgil. Are you sure you don't want us to complain?" Virgil broke himself out of his foster mum's grasp before heading to the kitchen in the corner of the open-plan room.

"Yeah, I'm sure. The teachers know already, it won't make much of a difference." He started as he caught sight of the silent figure sitting on the couch opposite his parents. Fuck, a warning maybe?

"Virgil!" reprimanded Janice. "What?" he replied still staring at the man. "Language!" He'd said that out loud? "Sorry. Um, who are you?" he said, the question coming off harsher than he intended. "No problem, Virgil. My name is Steven, I'm a social worker. I'm friends with Jess?" The name of the old social worker brought a small smile onto the pale teen's face.

"How is she?" "She's fine." said the man, smiling. "If you wouldn't mind sitting down, we have something to talk about." Virgil shot an alarmed look at his parents, panic bubbling up in his chest. They weren't getting rid of him, were they? Sure he'd only been in two foster homes, but he really, really, liked this one. Sure, school wasn't the easiest, but it still worked!

"Virgil, it's nothing bad. We promise." said Janice smiling. The teen glanced at her skeptically, chewing on his bottom lip. Still, he followed her into the center of the room.

The social worker watched this exchange with interest, directing his attention to Virgil in particular. Once Virgil had taken off his coat, leaving him in his hoodie, the conversation began.

"So you are Virgil, correct?" Virgil blinked. "Yes...?" "And you suffer from depressive anxiety and PTSD?" The names of his disorders put a sour taste in Virgil's mouth. He nodded. "How have you been coping with those lately?" Virgil shrugged. He was liking this less and less by the second. "Um..." "Virgil, darling, please answer the question." To be honest, that made Virgil want to answer it less.

"Uh, the PTSD's okay...?" He looked at his foster father, who nodded encouragingly. "Um, my therapist says I need to try trust people more... The anxiety's alright too, no big issues really." Steven hummed, flipping through a familiar yellow file.

"I spoke to your psychiatrist-" Shit. "He says that he's had to give you a new type on anxiety medication?" "Yeah." "Why is that?" Why? What type of stupid question is that? "Because the old one wasn't working." mumbled Virgil, shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets.

"Any particular reason?" "I dunno! Because it wasn't, okay?" he snapped. "Virgil, calm down-" "I can't." said the teen through gritted teeth, wishing desperately that he could flip up his hood. Steven looking at him concerned. "My apologies, Virgil. I did not mean to overstep my boundaries." Virgil felt quite sure Steven was aware of what he'd been doing. "S'fine."

"Alright, down to business then." That wasn't business?

"Virgil, I do not mean to say I know you more than you do, but it is clear that your mental health has not been the best as of late. Staying with the Wilson's has improved it, certainly, but you might need a bit of extra help." Extra help? What, are they sending me to a nuthouse or something?

"For the past few years, a certain social experiment has been under way. Well, not exactly an experiment, but-" "Virgil, there's this school. We think it can help." Virgil felt like a shard of ice had pierced his chest.

"A-a school? So what, you're going to ship me off to some school for crazy people?" Virgil felt his hands clamp into fists as he stared around at the adults in the room. Mike looked away, uncomfortable, while Janice took his arm.

"Honey, no! We have no intention of shipping you off. But Steven's been talking to us about it, and we think it can help!" "So you're sending me to a nuthouse."

"Virgil, hear me out. Yes, it is a school for people, primarily adolescents with mental health issues. But in no way is it a nuthouse! Think of it more like a rehabilitation center. It teaches young people how to deal with their mental illnesses in real world situations. Kind of like Hogwarts."

Virgil looked at his foster parents, wide eyed. They couldn't actually be considering this, could they?

"Virgil, just give it a try. It could be good for you, you know. Just one term. If you don't like it, you can come right back. It'll be a chance to start over!" "I think I've had plenty of chances to start over." said Virgil, his tone suddenly cold.

"Virgil," he turned to face Steven. "The concept of the school is hard to convey, but everybody who's been sent there in the past few years have all come out better. Most enjoyed it, actually. I now it sounds dodgy, but it works. And it improves the mental state of almost everyone who goes through their system.

"I'm sure you'll have more than a few doubts about this, but it will help you. I say this with absolute certainty. I have to leave now, but take this." He reached into his carrier bag and pulled out a green zip-up folder. "It's information on the school. It can explain more than I can. Janice and Mike already have a copy, but unless you agree to it, we won't take any further steps." Steven flashed him a reassuring smile.

"If you do wish to enroll, however, contact details are in the book. It would be appreciated if you could send your verdict to the school before Monday." Steven stood up, snapping shut the manilla folder in his hand.

"Until next time, Virgil. Mr and Mrs Wilson." A nod of acknowledgement later, and Steven was walking out, accompanied by Janice.

Virgil turned to Mike, who gestured to the folder in his hand.

"Go on, son. Janice and I have already read it." Virgil looked down at the folder, unzipping it quickly. Sure, he liked where he was now, but a change in schools would be appreciated. It's not like he enjoys being beaten to pulp daily.

Virgil scanned through a small booklet titled Queren Institute of Mental Health. Virgil could understand Steven's comparison of it to Hogwarts. The school was comprised of five sections. Not houses, but different categories of mental illness. It seemed that these categories shared dormitories and had similar schedules.

It didn't seem that bad.

Janice walked into the living room and locked eyes with her husband. She walked over to Virgil cautiously, as if trying not to startle him. After sitting herself down, she broke the silence.

"So, what do you think, Virgil?" The purple-clad teen's eyes flickered up to meet Janice's, and he made a nonchalant motion with his head.

"It's okay." he said. "Seems kind of odd, though." "Steven described it as a community," began Janice. "You would go about with normal lessons from nine 'till two, and then you would go for a therapy session. The rest of the day is yours, apart from one elective." By this point Virgil couldn't say he wasn't interested.  

"I'll think about it."

Both his foster parent's faces broke into large smiles.

[lgcmanager]

MODELING MISSION 002

SCHEDULE TYPE: TRIMESTER SCHEDULE RESTRICTIONS: Cannot be paired with another trimester schedule, unless stated otherwise

on OCTOBER 7, HEO AECHA has summoned all the CURRENT MODELS, new and old, late in the morning. a smile rests on her face as she greets each of the artists that have come into the room. “ah, a new face! how good it is to see you all!” she notes before shutting the door after the last person has entered. “for our newcomer, i am the head manager of LGC AGENCY, which means i oversee all of you as well as some of our other talents; our actors, entertainers, you get it. sadly, since i have so many of you to look after, i probably won’t be seeing you all that frequently, but you’ll have a great manager, mister nam jinho, who will take care of your day to day needs. those of you who have been with us for the last term are already familiar with him. i noted this last time and i’ll note it again. this arrangement may very well change in the future, but for now, we’ve kept it as is. now, oh, dear me, we have a lot to cover and i’ve already wasted too much time on this intro.”

DORMS

“all of you have been given the option to stay in the dorms or find your own places. those of you confirmed to stay will be able to move into your new dorms starting from today. otherwise, for those of you who have chosen to stay in your own place, you will need to pack up and leave your current dorms starting from today as well. however, i always give the same warning. just because you aren’t under our watch 24/7 anymore does not mean that you can go crazy. if we hear of any inappropriate behavior, you will be immediately brought back to the dorms. please keep all that in mind when you make your decisions,” she looks at the trainees sternly. she is very serious about this point and has zero tolerance for rule breaking.

SNS

“unlike many of the other paths, you models do need a presence on sns. don’t go flaunting about it now to your other colleagues. not everyone is so lucky. so with that said, you are all permitted to have a PUBLIC INDIVIDUAL INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT. but!” she pauses and gives a hard stare at the trainees once more, “your sns account is a privilege, and if you fail to abide by the rules or cause trouble, your account will immediately be terminated.”

DEBUT CONTRACT

“alright, next topic. your contracts. there are new legal matters to cover now that you’re under lgc agency so please take a look to see the new terms and conditions. please sign and return the contract to me as soon as possible. doesn’t have to be now. i do advise that you try to read through it.” ( please note that contracts your modeling debut is right at the corner which means new legal grounds to cover. you will all be handed a  that will need to be signed and returned as soon as possible. i’ll let you read over them on your own.”

( this is just an ic note, there is no need to submit this ooc )

MODELING MISSION: INFLUENCERS

“it’s no secret that the big stars of today are INFLUENCERS, they exist in many fields and redefine the modelling career as it has been for many years. in reality, an influencer is simply someone who has influence over others' buying decisions. a good influencer could even make anyone buy anything !

starting from next week, you will be filming for a new show called PLANET INFLUENCERS through which you will be given missions to sell products. those products can be anything in the given category. you may work on your own or in teams of two. you may, however, only team up twice with the same person ! on the last week, you will be given the chance to come up with your own product that you wish to sell. yes, you will be launching your very own first product !

WEEK 1: FOOD

WEEK 2: BEAUTY AND MAKEUP

WEEK 3: FOR THE FAMILY

WEEK 4: GAMES AND TECHNOLOGY

WEEK 5: HOUSE ITEMS

WEEK 6: CLOTHING

WEEK 7: DESTINATIONS

WEEK 8: YOUR BRAND

MUSICAL ACTING GIG OPPORTUNITY

before she dismisses everyone, aecha also talks about a new opportunity for this trimester concerning a new musical that is being produced. it has restrictions as to who can participate (you need a necessary amount of acting AND singing or dancing points), and not have a support role for the upcoming sitcom. it has extra writing requirements, but also rewards with nice skill and notoriety points. if your muse might be interested in musical acting, please check this post and read all of the information before signing up!

REQUIREMENTS

make sure to use the hashtag lgc:modelmission for everything related to this event. you have until JANUARY 9, 2020 11:59PM EST to complete the following requirements

PLANET INFLUENCER: write a 300+ words solo or a 4 replies (minimum 8 lines) thread with a partner about any episode for +5 POINTS TO DISTRIBUTE ANYWHERE, +3 NOTORIETY ! you may claim this requirement three times, as long as threads are with different partners.

YOUR BRAND: write a 300+ words solo about your character coming up with the prodct they wish to launch for their personnal brand for +5 POINTS TO DISTRIBUTE ANYWHERE and +5 NOTORIETY.

to validate your skill points and collect your notoriety points, please submit the following form ONCE on the points blog before JANUARY 9, 2020 11:59EST.

TITLE: MUSE NAME ∙ MODELING MISSION 002

- PLANET INFLUENCER: +5 ( skill points distribution )  +3 notoriety [ LINK ] - PLANET INFLUENCER: +5 ( skill points distribution ) +3 notoriety [ LINK ] - PLANET INFLUENCER: +5 ( skill points distribution ) +3 notoriety [ LINK ] - YOUR BRAND: +5 (skill points distribution ) +5 notoriety [ LINK ]

[reidgraygubler]

a different type of high (spencer reid/reader)pt 2

Title: A Different Type of High (part two)

Request: no

Couple: spencer reid/gender-neutral!reader

Category: angst

Content Warning: swearing, talks about drugs and the usage of drugs, drug use (oxycodone), drug abuse (oxycodone and dilaudid), attending narcotics anonymous, smoking (cigarettes), drug withdrawal, mentions of possible death (but no actual death), 

Word Count:  3378

Summary: reader and spencer have become best buddies after attending NA together. Reader goes to a meeting and panics when she doesn’t see Spencer there. Worried that he might have done something wrong, she calls him in a panic. 

A/N: this takes place in late-ish season two early-season three when spencer is going to the NA meetings. spencer was 26 around this time, reader is about 22 :) anyways, thank you all for the love and support! check out my masterlist!  and here is a mood board/pintrest board i made for the series!

Previous Part  Series Masterlist  Next Part

{***}{***}{***}

I tugged my sweater tight around my body as I walked towards the community center. I stayed a fair distance away from the doors as people entered. There were way too many people entering at once for me to go in now. The way the small crowd entered the building, with a few stragglers behind, only made me a little nervous. 

It was… chilly out today. The last of the warm days were behind us now as we were heading into Winter. That would mean I’d have to find a way to and from the community center and home sooner rather than later. I wonder if Spencer would help me…

“Hey!” A woman’s voice came from beside me as I neared the doors. I looked up from the ground and looked at her. Marie, who practically became my mother after my mom died, was standing at the doorway. “You walked here?” she asked as I entered the building.

“I don’t exactly have a car, Marie, you know that,” I shrugged as I buttoned my sweater up. 

“As long as you’re here, that’s all that matters,” she smiled and wrapped an arm around my body. Part of me wanted to shrug her off me, but another part of me welcomed the embrace. “Go eat something, you’re skin and bones,” she rubbed her hands up and down my arms, as if she was warming me up.

“I do eat, okay. You don’t need-Is that Shephard’s Pie?” I cut myself off when a familiar smell hit my nose. She looked at me and smiled.

“Go eat something,” she winked before leaving me alone. I sighed and looked around the room, looking at all the people around. And just like before, people were standing around and talking to each other, or sitting down. Only a few people were eating what was made. The times when people who work for the community center make food were my favorite days. Granted, they only do it once a month, very rarely was it twice a month. The food they make is always so good.

So, with that knowledge, I walked to where they were serving the food and got myself a plate. I didn’t exactly know where to sit, mostly because I didn’t want to sit beside a bunch of strangers and eat. Actually, I didn’t want to be around anyone while I ate. That left me going to the hall where the bathrooms were to eat. 

I could tell tonight was going to be different. Something about the feeling of everyone was… Off? I’m not really sure how to explain it. Maybe it was the fact that I was alone, and everyone else was with someone or talking to someone. And, I was just me, sitting in the hall to the bathrooms, poking at my Shephard’s Pie.

When I finally finished eating (I took my sweet time), I brought my plate back to the kitchen. The people around were sitting in their respective chairs, waiting for the group to start. I looked around at everyone one last time before I realized something… Spencer wasn’t here. 

Now, I know Spencer is a busy guy with whatever it was that he did for work. And, I know I’ve only known him for a few short weeks, if not a month. But I couldn’t help but allow my mind to wander and race to the scary thoughts that I shouldn’t have. Like, what if he made a mistake… What if he was sitting in the bathroom at his home, overdosing? Shit, shit… Shit. Or, what if he already did overdose and it’s too late. It’s bad that I allow myself to think those thoughts. I really shouldn’t. 

I’m not obsessed with Spencer. Okay? He’s just the only person who’s cared about me in a long time. And, he’s the only person (and thing) I’ve cared about since… Well, since I was 15. Of course, I’m worried about him.

I swallowed roughly as I looked over at Jacob, who was sitting away from the circle, reading over some papers (probably what he was going to say during today’s meeting). He’ll know where Spencer went. I mean, Jacob knows everything about everyone here. He’s gotta know where he is.

I pulled the sleeves of my sweater so my hands were pulled inside them. I looked at the ground as I walked over to Jacob. My heart was beating so hard in my chest it was actually scaring me. I shouldn’t be this scared.

I cleared my throat when I got to Jacob. He slowly lifted his head from the folder and looked at me. Glasses were perched on the tip of his nose, and his eyes were peaking from over the frame.

“Hey, happy to see you here,” he smiled as he closed the folder and placed it to the chair beside him, “What’s up? Did you eat?” he asked, looking around me to the table of food.

“Yeah, yeah, I did,” I nodded and looked back at the ground, “Uhm… Is Spencer coming tonight? He’s usually pretty punctual to meetings… And, he’s not here. I’m just… I’m scared he might have done something,” I whispered, keeping my voice low just in case other people were listening. 

“Oh, no. Spencer’s not coming tonight. He had a work trip that he had to go on. He’ll be back next week,” Jacob smiled at me. I looked back up at him, keeping my eyes on his face.

“Do you… Do you have his phone number?” I looked away from him again, worried that I’d be doing the wrong thing or invading his life. “I do believe you, Jacob. I just…” I wiped my eyes because I didn’t realize I had started crying. 

“Yeah, yeah, no I understand.” Jacob fumbled his pockets for his phone before finally pulling it out. “He might not answer. So you should wait till after tonight’s meeting to call.” he looked up at me as he wrote Spencer’s number on a slip of paper. “I’ll let him know you have his number,” he smiled as he handed over the paper. I nodded before taking the paper from him and pocketing it. 

“Thanks, Jacob… I appreciate it,” I whispered before turning to go find a seat. I kept my head low as I sat, not really wanting anyone to look at me. I could still feel tears rolling down my cheeks, and at this point, I didn’t know why I was crying. I think it was just the overwhelming emotions that I was feeling in general. My emotions are just too much for me and I guess this is where I’m left off.

Jacob was standing up in the circle this time, doing the greeting and welcoming everyone to the meeting. I always hated that part. Where he acts like no one is actually here, dying off coke, or oxy, or meth. But, what can I say? He’s just trying to make a good time out of a shitty situation. 

I was snapped back to reality when Jacob said my name, repeatedly. I looked over at him with wide eyes. 

“Do you want to go first,” he offered. I looked at him and shook my head. 

“Why do you always have me first?” I whispered, mildly annoyed that he always wants me to go first to share life over the last week. “I mean, I’m a month clean if that’s what you want to hear. I have my struggles.” I sighed and looked at him.

“Do you want to expand on those struggles?” He started. I bit my lips together before shrugging.

“Last week, uh, I had a bad week. And, I guess… I have some stuff leftover. Like, hidden away. I just really wanted to not feel anything.” I looked at my lap and shook my head. “I have a friend, though. He’s helping me with my struggles and stuff. I wish I could help him as much as he helps me though,” I sighed and looked back at Jacob. “It’s really hard, not taking whatever to get high to just not exist for a short time,” I explained. I wasn’t sure if it made sense to anyone, but it made enough sense to me. And that’s all that mattered, that I knew what I meant. 

“But you’re working through those struggles, and that’s a good thing. Having a support system is really important. So, your friend that you have is really good.” Jacob smiled and nodded. I stared at him before slowly nodding.

“Yeah, yeah. It is a good thing. I’ve never had a support system like him before. He’s right alongside me.” I whispered. I never really thought of Spencer as my support system. It’s true though, he is. Even if I wasn’t his. “Someone else should share,” I muttered. I made sure my tone was annoyed, just so Jacob would know to stop having me be the first to share.

{***}{***}{***}

After the meeting ended, I walked to the laundromat that was a block or two from my apartment. They had a payphone there that I’d be able to use, which is nice because I didn’t have a cell phone or home phone to use. I’ve done it before, using the laundromat’s payphone. 

I knew I had some change stuffed into the pockets of my sweater. I just hope no one would be in the laundromat. Well, it was late so I don’t expect people to be doing their laundry now. Unless it was someone who didn’t want to be seen during the day, like me.

A shiver shot through my body as I entered the building. I was happy to see that there was only one person here, and it looked like they were almost done doing their load. I glanced at them as I walked to the 3 pay-phones. I sat right at the second one, my hands jingling the change in my pockets. I pulled out four quarters and the paper with Spencer’s number. My eyes scanned the numbers that had Jacob’s sloppy handwriting on it. 

I picked the phone up off the hook before dialing the number. I stared at the numbers on the pad as I held the phone to my head. 

“This is Spencer R-” I slammed the phone back on the hook before he could say anymore. I stared at the phone with wide eyes. My hands were shaky and I could feel my head starting to get a little dizzy. It was just the nerves, anxiety, and everything of the day hitting me all at once. I stared at the phone. I pulled all the change from my pockets and placed it on the counter. 4 quarters, which means two more calls. I swallowed roughly before dialing his number again.

“This is…” “Hi Spencer, it’s me,” I bit my lips together and closed my eyes. I pressed my free hand to my face and shook my head. “I, uh… Sorry if this was inappropriate or anything. I just… I asked Jacob for your number… And, I missed you today, sorry if that’s weird,” I blabbed, my words trailing off. 

“Hey! No, no it’s okay!” Spencer spoke. His tone was happy, like whatever it was that he was doing made him happy. “Sorry I didn’t come tonight. I had work stuff happening.” He explained. So, I nodded, even though he couldn’t see me. 

“Yeah, that’s what Jacob had said.” I retorted and shrugged.

“But you didn’t believe him, did you?” Spencer asked, a certain amusement in his tone. I held back my laughter and nodded.

“Well, I told him I believed him. But I didn’t really believe him,” I rested my face in my hand and leaned against the counter. “A work trip?” I asked, changing the subject back to him.

“Yeah, yeah,” his voice got low, like he tried to not be heard by whoever he was with, “Probably won’t be home till the end of next week, though,” he sounded sad. 

“So, you won’t be home for the next meeting?” I frowned and tried to make it so he could hear my frown. Assuming he did because he started laughing. “God, I fucking hate Jacob, I swear,” I sighed and shook my head. 

“You know, at first I didn’t understand why you hated him… But I’m starting to understand why,” he laughed. I smiled and looked around the laundromat. The previous person was gone, leaving me alone. I was happy about that. I didn’t want people listening in on my conversation. Man, it’d be awkward if he worked for the FBI or something where someone is always listening.

“He always makes me go first to share, it’s getting annoying,” I scoffed and shook my head. “Like, is it because I’m the youngest one there? Because I’ve been attending for so long?” I shook my head again because of my annoyance.

“Maybe you’ll have to ask him. Could be because you’re young,” Spencer answered. On his side of the call, I could hear papers shuffling. 

“God, that’s annoying,” I scoffed, “How was your week?” I smiled, asking the question that is usually first answered in group. Spencer cackled, not just a laugh but a cackle. 

“It was good. Uh, work whisked me away and I wasn’t expecting it. But, here we are.” Spencer sighed. The image I had of him in my head right now was nice. He was just sitting at a desk, coffee in front of him while he read whatever papers he needed. Wait… “What about you? What phone number is this?”

“Oh… Uh, I’m at the laundromat down the street from my apartment… I don’t have a phone,” I bit my lips together and sighed, “Uhm, but my week was meh. I mean, like… Last week was pretty rough… Not gonna lie,” I rubbed my face and shook my head, “Uh, yeah, it was just. I don’t even know why it was a rough week.” 

“You didn-”

“No, no, I wanted to though,” I slouched in the chair and shook my head. “It was really hard not going to my stash… And just taking whatever I had.” I shrugged.

“One minute remaining,” an automated female voice spoke. I widened my eyes and fumbled for quarters.

“Shit,” I muttered, nearly dropping them back to the counter. I also nearly dropped the phone too.

“Is… Is everything okay?” Spencer asked, legitimate worry in his words. I sighed once I finally inserted the quarters into the machine.

“Yeah, yeah. Yep, uh… I don’t use payphones, let alone actual phones, often. And I never have quarters on me for these things,” I shook my head in annoyance. “Sorry if I scared you,” I cringed. 

“It’s okay.” He replied. I sighed and shook my head. “Now that you have my number, you won’t hesitate to call me, will you?” the worry was back in his voice as he spoke. It kinda scared me how much he worried about me. I’ve never had someone worry about me like this before.  What if I disappointed him? Or he disappointed me? I’m used to being a disappointment and getting disappointed. So, what’s it going to do if I get disappointed one more time?

“It’ll depend on the time of day and where I am… If I’m able to get to the laundromat, then sure. But if I’m not near a payphone or if I don’t have quarters, I probably won’t,” I answered. 

“Time of day doesn’t matter. I never sleep anyway. And I assume you never sleep either,” he pointed out the obvious. I laughed and nodded.

“Okay, time of day is no worry. Then, it’ll depend on if I have quarters for the machine,” I pointed out.

“I’ll figure something out for you then,” Spencer stated. I smiled again and nodded. “What time is it?”

“Almost 10… I had to walk to the community center, and then back here.” I sighed.

“You should go to bed,” Spencer spoke firmly. I rolled my eyes and smiled. 

“You’re not my real dad,” I feigned a playful disappointment in my tone. That made Spencer laugh. “I thought you died… When you weren’t at group… My mind kinda wandered and I had thoughts that weren’t the greatest,” I wrinkled my nose. My stomach sank and my body hurt slightly at the thoughts and memories of all the previous thoughts I had of earlier today. 

“Hey, hey,” Spencer’s voice was soft, like he knew I was visibly upset. The kindness he had in his voice made me feel better. “If I have you in my life, I can guarantee that I won’t die,” he had a small chuckle in his tone. I smiled.

“Accountability buddies?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. The smile that was growing on my lips was probably too happy for us to be talking about death and drugs. It was Spencer’s turn to be laughing.

“Okay, okay, accountability buddies,” he agreed, his tone being as happy as my smile was. 

“You know that stupid step? The one about a greater power or whatever?” I asked, tapping my fingers across the counter. Spencer laughed.

“You mean Step Two ‘We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.’ or Steps Five through Seven?” He asked, his tone somewhat cheery. I laughed and shook my head. 

“Honestly, all of them,” I wrinkled my nose and shook my head.

“What about them?” 

“What if I don’t believe in a higher power or God?” I asked. I lifted my hand and looked at my fingers around the phone cord. And with that question, Spencer hummed. I wished he got to answer the question.

“One minute remaining,” the automated voice was back, causing me to frown because I knew our time on the phone would be over soon. I really didn’t want it to be. Spencer was someone I could trust, and he knew that. He was even a better distraction to stop me from doing anything stupid.

“Get some sleep?” Spencer asked, his tone only slightly begging. I smiled and nodded. “Okay, if you nodded, I can’t see you.”

“I’ll get some sleep. I promise,” I sighed, even though I knew it was a lie. I mean, I know Spencer isn’t going to sleep either.

“How many quarters do you have?”

“On me, 4. I’m sure I have more in my apartment,” I sat up in the chair and nodded, “I’ll call you if I need you, Spencer. Thank you for letting me call you,” I wrinkled my nose. 

“Of course. I’d rather have you call me instea-”

“You’ll be home next week?” I asked, cutting him off. He didn’t really need to say anything further, I knew exactly what he was going to say.

“That’s the plan. Could be sooner.” He answered, sounding upset with his own answer. “I’ll take you to get coffee when I get back?” he offered, like that’d make me happy. Okay, yeah it worked. It did make me happy. 

“Coffee?” I asked, raising an eyebrow because I wasn’t sure if he actually offered to get me coffee. “Y-yeah, coffee. That sounds good,” I nodded. I’ve never gotten coffee before.

“I’ll see you then. Goodnight,”

“Goodnight, Spencer,” I smiled before placing the phone back on the receiver. I sat back in the seat and looked at the machine. My eyes then shifted down to the quarters on the countertop. I really wanted to keep talking to him, mostly because I liked talking to him. And, if he was so willing to talk to me, I’ll do it anytime.

I stared at the payphone for a moment before finally standing up. I slipped the last of my quarters and paper back into my pockets before leaving. By the time I finally got back outside, it was cold, colder than before I called Spencer. I suppose that’s what I get for wanting to make a call late at night. 

When I got to my apartment, I couldn’t feel my fingers or my toes. I didn’t want to take a shower, because I really didn’t want to get cold again after the shower. So, I just slumped my way to my bedroom, not like that’ll make me any warmer.

series taglist: @shameleswhorehourstm​, @itsametaphorbriansblog​ , @bxtchboy69​ 

if you want to be apart of the series tag list, just let me know :)

[atcostmag]

Tiggy Valen on Writing Songs While Growing Up with No Fixed Address

Though she’s moved places every two years since the age of thirteen, Tiggy Valen finds that home where the heart is. Now based in New York, a rather fitting place for the cosmopolitan soul, the California, Bay Area singer speaks on her unusual upbringing as the daughter of a diplomat. Soft and breezy, her songs with their ethereal glow reflect a nostalgic air; a pre-determined longing and melancholic saudade resulting from living a nomad’s life.

Words: Peter Quincy Ng

You're a former cellist and opera singer and now a singer-songwriter. Your music now is very different from your music then. What inspired the paradigm shift?

I was raised on all sorts of music growing up! Singing in choir and playing piano and cello gave me an appreciation for classical styles early on, but when I listen to music for fun or with friends it’s mostly been contemporary stuff: pop, rock, hip hop, you name it. The first two songs on my iPod Nano in the early 2000′s were “Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield and “Bohemian Rhapsody”- Still classics! I’ve always sought out good music regardless of genre or style, so as I’ve started to produce myself I try to pull elements from all over the map. I don’t really have one “North Star,” which is probably why my music seems different than what one might expect. That being said, I still love a good string arrangement and focus a lot on stacking vocal harmonies so there are definitely still elements of my past life in my new music!

The title of your upcoming EP is called "Diplomat's Daughter". How has living abroad changed your perspective of the world and how has living in a different cultural environment shaped your artistic perspective?

I think people who are consistently pushing the boundaries of their comfort zone and spending a lot of time in other cultures are often some of the best at self awareness and empathy. I’m definitely not perfect at that, but the ability I’ve had over the years to live in so many different environments has bred in me a continuous mindset of self-reflection and desire to learn from and listen to others. That constant looking in vs. looking out may seem contradictory, but in a strange way I think operating under the assumption that you have something to learn from everyone you interact with helps you learn a lot more about yourself as well as the world.

So far that’s also been a big part of discovering myself as an artist — to find your sound and songwriting style you have to go through the same sort of self-reflection and learning-through-others process. It may sound simple, but for me creativity sits at the nexus of experiencing something and having tools to process how that makes me feel. In that sense, it’s not particularly surprising that each song on my EP is focused on a different place I’ve lived; those collective experiences have shaped me most so far in life. With each song, I’ve reflected on my time in a certain place, processed how it made me feel, and built the music and lyrics around those feelings. As strange as it sounds, it’s sort of been like creating a world for my memories of each place to live in.

You mention that your father served in Afghanistan and Pakistan during some very trying times. What have you learned from your parents' experiences? Though they may not have been musicians themselves, what are some words of wisdom they offered to you in the face of obstacles and challenges?

I look up to my parents in so many ways, but especially in the way they both seek out and deal with challenges. They rarely champion taking the easy route — my siblings and I have always been taught to face obstacles head on, and that conquering those (or at least trying to) is the best way to build character and resilience. They’ve also instilled in us the mindset of “whatever you’re going through, someone is dealing with something worse.” Not in a way that’s meant to belittle our feelings, but I think it adds necessary perspective in life. I’m super grateful for that.

The name of your current single is titled "Dear California," and your previous single "Two Year Stand". The former speaks of your home state and the latter speaks of moving to another country every two years since the age of thirteen. What makes you feel at home and what is something you've learned not to take for granted living with no fixed address?

That’s a great question! Every time someone asks me where I’m from, I really have to pause and think about how I should answer. Most people regret asking if I launch into the whole story, but saying just one place also feels incomplete. Tough dilemma for a very basic question! Home for me really centers around people and memories. One smell in California can make me feel like I never left. A taste of authentic Thai food makes me feel like Bangkok is home again. Catching up with high school or college friends reminds me of how at-home I felt in school. Living in New York City has also taught me that you don’t have to have lived in a place your whole life to be able to call it home — not many people in NYC are true born and bred “New Yorkers” but it’s very much their home too. If you associate enough with a place and experience it beyond being an occasional tourist, it’s not a stretch to call it home.

In terms of what not to take for granted: roots, history, consistency! I’m always a little envious of the people whose families have lived in one place for generations. I try to play catch up in getting to know a place as much as I can whenever we move, but it’s no substitute for the history of having your and your family’s identity wrapped up in one place.

A deep, ethereal suspension of dreamy saturation, “Two Year Stand” with its divergent lift floats into a spiral of dreamy dysphoria as it closes with its contemplating monologues

Tiggy · Two Year Stand

Like most artists, your music speaks of relationships. How has distance shaped the meaning of friends, family and lovers?

Distance definitely makes me try and work harder at my friendships and relationships. It takes a lot of effort to stay in touch. Despite how easy it is to send someone a text these days, I think a lot of people are hesitant to do so unless it’s someone they really care about because it’s like “what’s the point?” if you’re not physically together. In my mind, distance has never seemed like a major barrier to keeping a friendship or relationship given how used to it I am. I hate the thought of losing a friend and the memories you shared, but I can also understand the people who feel like the effort isn’t always worth it to hang onto something of the past. It sort of comes down to your tolerance for sharing memories and experiences virtually. Personally, I’m a super nostalgic person so I could sustain a distance friendship with someone for years just based on recounting the memories we shared when we were physically together. But I get those who need more than that to keep something going. It’s a two way street though so I think both people have to fall in the former category to make it work. I guess I just try and hang on as tight as possible to the people who feel the same way!

You know, you're a bit of a diplomat yourself. After all, they say music is the universal language. What do you hope listeners get out of your music?

It truly is! I listen to music in languages I don’t speak all the time and it still conjures feelings. I guess that’s what I really hope for my music — that it can spur emotion, memories, and personal experiences for people in different ways. While all my music is personal to me, I think it has the potential for a lot of people to relate to it even just based on people who’ve reached out to me about it so far. Transience, growth, and optimism are main themes in my music, and I think a lot people are well acquainted with those things!

Soft and beachy with its wash of sustaining textures, Tiggy’s breezy comb of vocals embraces with its reassuring coax on “Dear California,”

Tiggy · Dear California,

[stuffandnosense]

Never Ending: Message in a Bottle (Part 4)

So everyone over @altean-plance-au is still doing their thing, and the recent updates have been fantastic (a couple of which I still need to catch up on), and thanks to them and also my friends at the Pidgance Positivity Discord I finally managed to get back to this, and I’m really excited about my plans for it going forward. ;) I hope you enjoy the new chapter! 

Never Ending Oneshot  |  MiaB Part 1  |  MiaB Part 2  |  MiaB Part 3

***

“Almost every single one of these video files has a name - like a real name, not just a number or something. AND they’re color-coded into topics,” Lance observes, as they flip through the file folder on the screen in his room. “Why does that not surprise me?”

“Because you know me,” Pidge smirks. “Just because the log was your idea doesn’t mean I’d have let you get away with doing it without some basic organization. What are we, animals?”

She’s expecting a laugh at that, but when she glances at him his face has fallen, and she realizes she made a mistake in her attempt to make a joke.

Too soon, she thinks. Too soon to be identifying with the people in these videos completely, even for a joke. Lance has come around enough since earlier to agree to watch these videos with her, but he is still confused. Still scared, even, maybe.

“S-Sorry,” she says. “I didn’t mean…”

Lance blinks and shakes his head. “No, I know; you were just being funny. It’s fine. Ignore me.”

Pidge lets her hand fall away from the screen “We don’t have to do this right now, you know. We could wait a little longer.”

He smiles. “It’s okay, Pidge, really.”

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable; are you sure—?”

“Pidge!” He grabs her hand and tugs her back to sit facing the huge screen they’d set up in here phoebs ago for the game console they bought at the space mall. “I mean it, come on,” he chuckles. He points the Altean remote-like thing at the display. “I guess we should just start at the beginning? What ARE these categories anyway?”

“One looks like messages to specific people; those we’ll skip. Otherwise, looks like…” Pidge squints at the screen. “General Logs, Altean History & Culture, Nonsense Logs - of course - and oh, neat, what’s Project Window? There’s also a Miscellaneous tag, because you have to have one of those.”

“You’re enjoying this too much already and we haven’t even started.”

She smirks at him, and then he comes to the end of the long list. The last several files aren’t named, or color-coded, and she frowns.

“What is it?” Lance asks.

“Nothing…” She tells herself it doesn’t have to mean anything, and steals the remote from Lance. “Come on, let’s pick up where we left off in the first general log I guess.”

“Hey give it back!”

***

Nonsense Log 2: Or, I knew this would probably devolve into Feed Funniest, and I was right.

“What are you doing?” Pidge turns on the recorder as Lance floats past her upside down - not that direction really matters in here. He’s trying to use bits of unfrozen water to propel himself across the space, but the stream keeps coagulating into clumps.

“Practicing. I’ve never used my powers in zero gravity before; it’s harder to keep it liquid when it otherwise wants to freeze, and it keeps, you know, acting like things in zero gravity do…”

He freezes a large ball of the water to grab onto to stop himself spinning, but with no anchor he just goes spinning away with the ice ball in his grasp.

Pidge giggles at his shriek. “You need to stay tied to the side!”

“That’s not going to help me figure out how to operate somewhere with zero-g that doesn’t have walls…!” Lance and his ball of ice bounce off the inside of the sphere; he unfreezes the water and pushes off from the wall with it to send himself back to her.

Pidge catches his arms as he gets closer; he’s still somewhat out of control, but at least he ended up relatively where he seems to have wanted to go.

“Well that was better,” she gives him, pulling him into the nest with her.

“Of course it was.” He winks and kisses her cheek.

“Since when did you like training?”

Lance feigns offense. “Excuse me; I’ve matured enough to recognize its’ merits, thank you very much. I wouldn’t be the skilled bodyguard or the master of my abilities I am without it.”

Pidge grins wickedly at that, and extends a pair of vines to shove him back out of the nest. “Oh? Show me what you’ve got, then.”

A glob of water hits her in the face as she emerges from the nest; Lance’s laugh echoes off the frozen walls of their life boat.

“You’re on.”

***

On venturing out for food they ask Allura what Feed Funniest would have meant, after seeing it in one of the log titles.

“Oh, the Feed was merely a...network of messaging and content channels, really. Those used by everyone. There were many, but that was the collective name for it. Feed Funniest was a channel used to compile humorous entries.”

Lance blinks at her. “It was social media.”

Pidge shrugs as she pulls a spoon from a drawer. “I mean, people are people everywhere, and Altea was a technologically advanced society. That makes sense; why wouldn’t they have had a way for people to collectively communicate?”

“Altea had social media!”

Allura seems confused. “Social media?”

Pidge smirks as she nudges a shell-shocked Lance out the kitchen door. “Don’t worry about it; he’ll adjust.”

“Pidge, Altea had social media!”

“I heard her, Lance.”

***

Project Window Entry 1: Or, I really hope this doesn’t get us killed.

“So we’ve decided that we can’t just sit here,” Pidge says. Her fingers fly over the projected keypad from the computer as it records them. A vine curls out from the wall of the sphere, wrapped around her waist to hold her in place as she runs her calculations.

“This one computer we have does have limited comm and scanning abilities, but the scanners won’t reach outside the sphere, and the comms barely will. We might be able to detect signals from ships close enough, but we definitely wouldn’t be able to tell what kinds of ships they were. If we want to have a chance of detecting and reaching out to a friendly ship and being rescued rather than captured or killed...we need a way to know for sure.”

Lance is floating over her shoulder, examining a section of the wall.

“Lance?”

“What?” He glances down at her and the computer. “Oh, right. What should I…?”

“Just tell the log what you told me.” Pidge grins, teasing but anxious. “You’re the one who wanted to record things.”

“Right…” He sighs. “We need to open a section of this wall so we can see out, but seeing as we’re floating in space we can’t just...do that. But there are several layers of plants, and I think if we replace them one by one with ice in this one spot, we can get all the way through. And even though it’ll be several layers, and they’ll need to be thick, I think with my powers I can make them clear enough for us to still be able to see enough for it to make a difference.”

Pidge is nodding. “It’ll end up acting like a magnifying glass, but at least we’ll be able to tell the difference between a Galra ship and one that might actually want to rescue us. And the magnification might actually help in some cases, too.”

“We have to be sure everything stays sealed while we do this, though. Quiznak, why did I even have this thought…?”

“It was a good thought! We can do it. I can make sure we don’t decompress; the plants will warn me if we’re in danger. We just have to treat it like an airlock.” The computer pulls away from her as she asks a vine to reach out and take it while they work.

Pidge offers Lance a reassuring smile. “Detail work is what you do.”

“Usually the life or death involved isn’t quite so direct…”

She tugs him to her and kisses him. “How’s that for motivation?”

Lance smiles back softly as he holds her against him for a moment. “I guess I did tell you we weren’t done, didn’t I?”

“We’re not,” she whispers into his cheek. Around them the glowing plants that light their lifeboat shine off the ice that seals it; the beauty still surprises her every morning she wakes. “If we made this place, we can do anything. We’re not dying in here.”

Log 5: I was going to delete, but Lance said not to; people need to understand what Zarkon did.

Pidge affixes the wrist computer to some vines beside the fruit basket woven into the sphere’s side, making it easier to begin recording as she pokes Lance’s resting form under the moss blankets in their nest bed.

“Lance? You awake?” Nothing, at first, but his breathing isn’t even in sleep. “Lance?”

“...I’m awake.”

“We need to work on this window; if we take too long, our allies could give up looking for survivors. If they’re even doing that, but anyway.”

His shoulders tense, and he still doesn’t turn over to face her. “Not right now, Pidge...”

“Are you okay? I’m still a little tired, too. Maybe you’re right; we could just record today. Maybe go over whatever we can remember from our history classes or something...whatever we can do, you know? You weren’t wrong; I guess it is a good idea to get down as much as we can about Altea somehow…”

Lance shifts under his blankets and pulls them up around his ears. “Not right now,” he repeats hollowly. Drops of liquid float over his shoulder, glinting in the glow of the bioluminescent plants, and Pidge’s chest clenches.

“Lance…” She gets a quiet sob in answer, and her own throat clogs. “I’m...I’m sorry.”

Having only just woken up herself, she doesn’t know how long he’s been awake. She does know there have been moments she’s woken up in the night, too, paralyzed. Moments when all she could do was miss her family. And Lance was there.

She leans over him and wraps her arms around him, slipping back under the moss to pull him close and let his tears soak her shoulder rather than floating away. Lance clings to her like a lifeline. They are each others’ lifelines. They are all they have left.

“It’s okay...we don’t have to do anything today,” she whispers. With a flick of her wrist, she turns the computer off with the tip of a vine.

***

Lance pauses the computer’s playback before the next log can start. His arms are wrapped tightly around his chest in the dim castle bedroom.

“Lance…?”

He swallows. “I...I still don’t know if there’s a whole other family I should be mourning, or…”

Pidge loops an arm around his shoulders and rests her head against his arm, because she isn’t sure what else she can do. He lets her, for a moment or two, but in the end he extracts himself gently from her grip and gets shakily to his feet.

“You want to take a break?” she asks.

“Yeah…”

The break lasts longer than either of them planned; Voltron is dispatched on a rescue mission almost immediately after returning to Galra headquarters.

***

“Lance…? Lance, are you okay?”

The cool castle wall presses into his forehead where he’s leaned into it. They must have returned from the shield station half a varga ago or more, but he hasn’t even made it out of Red’s hangar.

Hunk is hovering over him and Pidge is kneeling beside him, clutching at his arms and looking up at him with so much concern and…

When did he end up on his knees?

“I...I don’t...know…”

Lance…! LANCE! Pidge is screaming in his memory, but it isn’t HIS memory.

Hunk gets down on his knees with them, a hand rubbing at Lance’s back. He can’t feel it much through his armor, but the weight is welcome.

“What...what happened out there?” he asks. “I know I didn’t have time to ask before; everything was kind of going nuts. I’m sorry, man…”

“I-it’s okay, I know, I…” He shakes his head, trying to clear the buzzing from it. He was fine, he was fine, but then it hit him all over again.

“I know you saved Allura,” Hunk says, somewhat in awe. “That was...that was…”

“Stupid,” Pidge swallows.

“I was gonna say BRAVE…”

Lance snorts quietly. “Pidge is probably more right, but i-if I hadn’t…”

Allura would be dead. With no one to bring her back.

Like he’d been dead.

He’d been dead.

He died.

There are arms around him now. Hunk and Pidge pressing into him from both sides, wrapped around him. He’s shaking and he doesn’t know when that started.

“Lance? Buddy!”

“Lance!”

“I died,” he gasps. “I...just for a minute. Allura brought m-me back. Re...st-started my heart and healed me, I guess, I...I mean I guess it’s not really that different than like a defibrillator or something bringing me back, it wasn’t that long b-b-but I still…”

Pidge’s breath puffs against his neck. “What!”

“Oh man…” Hunk trails.

Their arms tighten around him but Lance doesn’t mind. He needs the touch. He needs to feel like he’s still here when his mind won’t stop racing.

“It’s okay,” Pidge is saying. “It’s okay. You’re okay.” It sounds like she’s saying it as much for herself as for him.

“I know,” he breathes. “I know.”

Over and over he feels the charge hit him. It HURT...so much. And maybe it was while he was screaming and maybe it was...after...but…

She was reaching for him. The vision. The...memory. It was a memory. Pidge screaming his name. Reaching. Or clinging to him? So much like she is now but...not this Pidge. And she was...

“Older,” he says aloud.

“What?” Hunk asks.

Lance sits up straighter. “She was older.”

“Who was?” Pidge asks.

He gets to his feet, maybe too quickly, reaching out for the wall for balance as his head spins. “You. I think. When what happened out there happened, I...saw something. Like we did in your hanger. Sort of. When we touched that energy.”

Where is Allura?

“I think she and Coran are still with Shiro; they wanted to make sure he was okay after whatever happened to him out there,” Pidge says.

“I asked that out loud?”

“Yeah...” Hunk says warily.

“Sorry, I’m just...ugh.” Lance winces as he finds Pidge’s hand and squeezes it. “I need to see something. Come on. Hunk, can you uh...can you find Allura and Coran? Get them to meet us in my room? If they’re done checking up on Shiro I mean.”

“Sure?”

“Thanks, man.”

Pidge follows him as he tugs her from the hangar, but her fingers are rubbing his worryingly as she clutches his hand in return. “Lance, what’s going on?”

He still feels...unsteady. And not because Allura didn’t heal him well enough. Physically he’s fine; it’s only the mental and emotional toll of what happened that’s making him shaky, he’s almost sure. But even through the fading tremors he has a purpose as he pulls her through the corridors.

“You’ll see.” He turns on the large screen when they reach his room, and starts scrolling through the log files to get to the end.

Pidge reaches out to still his hands. “What are you doing? I thought we weren’t skipping.”

She says it as the door opens again, Allura, Coran, and Shiro on Hunk’s heels.

“What? What’s going on?” the princess asks, echoing Pidge from moments ago. “Lance? Are you all right?”

He looks back at her and smiles. “I think so. Now. I...look, Allura, I know you and Coran have been watching these logs too, and...I know you haven’t wanted to get to the end, and I know why. But...I don’t think we have to be afraid of it anymore.”

Allura swallows. “How do you know?”

Lance winces. “What happened out there...I saw something. It was a memory; I know it was. And...I mean it wasn’t exactly the greatest kind. I don’t know what happened to them later. But what I saw, Pidge was older. Maybe ten or twenty years older, Allura. I don’t think they died in that sphere.”

“How can you be sure?”

“The last couple of files are so aren’t named,” Pidge says, her voice cracking.

He knows they don’t want to question him just to question him. Allura and Pidge are both looking at him, and they’re just afraid, and he understands. What if something went wrong finishing the window? What if they finished it, but no one came? He’d been thinking the same things. But...

“I know what I saw. I know it was a memory.” He looks from Allura to Pidge. “Can you trust me?”

***

Log 6: Or, We may be crazy but that’s okay

Lance is already recording when Pidge wakes up. She squints up at the light from the wrist computer’s projected screen.

“Why are you recording me sleeping?” She seems to be trying to sound disgruntled, but she can’t hide her smile.

“Because you’re beautiful in the light in here.”

“It’s still weird,” she smirks.

Lance leans down to nuzzle her cheek. “Hush. I only just turned it on.”

She yawns, stretching, and settles her arms around his neck as he floats just above her in the lack of gravity. “All right...what are you up to?”

He flips through the files. “You didn’t tell me you had music on this thing.”

“Not much...just some instrumental stuff I use when I’m working sometimes.”

Lance pushes himself back, hanging the computer on a vine and pressing play on a file before he floats away from the nest. A soft ballad drifts through the chill air.

“Come on,” he says. He holds out a hand, smiling. “Dance with me.”

Pidge laughs. “In zero gravity?”

“Hey, I can’t trip on your feet.”

She huffs in amusement as she pushes back the moss blankets and drifts to the edge of the nest. Lance wiggles his fingers at her to beckon, and her expression softens as she reaches out to take his hand.

Lance pulls her close, sending them into a gentle spin in the center of the sphere as the music plays from the computer.

“Sorry I kind of put the kibosh on yesterday,” he says quietly.

Pidge shakes her head. “It won’t be the last time one of us needs to do that.” She rests her head against his chest. “We lost...our planet. Everyone…” Her voice catches.

Lance strokes her hair, his face settling into a determined stare at nothing in particular. “We are going to get out of here. We’re going to finish that window, and someone is going to find us.”

“You can’t know that,” she whispers. “But thank you for saying it anyway.”

“We will,” he says again. He nudges her chin until she looks at him. “Because I want to have a life with you. I know it can’t be the same as it would have been on Altea...but I want it.”

“Zarkon will be looking for us. For any Alteans left. Anyone who was off-planet.”

“So we find them before he does.”

“More than that,” she says suddenly. “If we get out of this, we have to fight back.”

Lance is quiet for a moment, but at the certainty in her eyes, he nods. All he wants is for her to live, for anyone left to be safe, but…

“If that’s what you want, I’ll be by your side.”

***

Lance pulls up the last log file, from what must have been weeks after the last one they watched, and Pidge’s face fills the screen. The Altean version of her face.

It’s still so strange to see it, even though they’ve been watching these logs for a couple of days now. It still sends a strange shock through her stomach, sometimes. But Lance slips an arm around her shoulders, and it grounds her.

This time only the soft glow from the screen illuminates Pidge’s doppelganger; behind her the sphere is nearly dark. The plants are dying.

She looks so tired, her breath visible in the air, but her eyes are alight.

“Trigel’s people have found us! Not a moment too soon...another few quintants and…” She shakes her head. “They’re going to fire an escape capsule into the side of the sphere to get us out safely. We’ve weakened the wall just enough; they should be able to lodge the hatch end inside without decompressing our atmosphere.”

Her excitement fades. “They’ve told us the Paladins are gone...all of them. Even without the lions they fought to save Altea, but...and-and no one knows where the castle is, or who was still on it when it left.”

The Pidge on the screen swallows. Over her shoulder Lance floats into view, and he looks just as weak and exhausted, but he’s smiling tiredly as he holds onto her.  

“Allura, if you’re out there…” The Pidge on the screen smiles, too. “I hope we find each other, but if we don’t, if you find this at least…”

“We lived, Allura. And we did everything we could.”

[justtheendoftheday]

AVP: Alien vs. Predator (2004)

“Mr. Weyland, what I told you in there wasn’t bullshit. If you rush this, people will get hurt. Maybe die.”

A strange energy reading leads a team of explorers to an ancient extraterrestrial pyramid located underneath a remote island in Antarctica. But things take a turn for the worse when they learn that the structure is actually the battleground for a race of extraterrestrial hunters and their deadly alien prey.

Fright: 1.5 / 5 Crossover Events

To the movie’s credit, when it tries to generate horror it actually does an alright job. That being said, it almost never tries. The majority of the time it sacrifices scares to go for a more Action-flick kinda vibe.

Gore: 3 / 5 Incidental Alien Autopsies

Okay, so there’s certainly some gore. But it’s not the usual sort.

I mean, sure, there’s some impaling, bits are chopped off, chests are burst, organs are seen, etc. But the gory stuff is almost always one crazy alien doing something gory to another crazy alien. Outside of getting stabbed, there’s an oddly minimal amount of anything being shown done to a human. Some messed up stuff is implied to have happened to them, yes, but you almost never see it.

Jump Scares: Light

There’s certainly some potential startles, but it’s more of an action flick than a horror one, so it never bothers attempting any serious jumps.

Review:

While it certainly delivers a lot of Alien and Predator action, it never fully grasps onto any of the deeper elements from the respective franchises. If all you want is some Who-would-win-in-a-fight-between style action, it certainly delivers. However, it doesn’t really offer anything much beyond that.

Thoughts:

There is something weirdly human about wondering who would win in various bizarre fantasy fights scenarios.

And what deeper expression of that is there then the weirdly long-running existence of Alien vs. Predators stories.

But the big question on everyone’s minds is whose decision was it to name it “AVP”?? I’m dying to know who was in charge of that decision.

Am I wrong here? I think we can all agree that “Alien vs. Predator” is a much better title. There’s just something about a “AVP” that that screams old people trying really hard to sound “cool.”

Anyhoo, before we get into it I should let you know a couple things:

I have only seen the theatrical PG-13 version of this one. I’ve heard word that there’s an extended unrated version, but I think it’s only available on fancy home media versions and thus I’ve never seen it.

Despite the fact that the filmmakers wanted AVP to be canonical for both franchises, both Prometheus and Alien: Covenant chose to completely disregard it. And I honestly can’t blame them, because this movie is so clearly meant to just be ridiculous action fun. So please don’t waste your time trying to figure out how this thing fits into the timeline.

Okay? So with that out of the way, here’s why AVP bugs me: it pays homage to all sorts of memorable visual elements of its respective franchises, but doesn’t even attempt to pay homage to any of their themes. So yeah, there’s predator heat vision and sneaking around all invisible. And sure, there’s chest bursting, facehugging, wee-little-mouth frenching, and all that good stuff.

But…that’s about it. If you look past those flashy actiony bits the film is rather thematically hollow.

The original franchises had very different styles, but like all horror movies they were both stories of survival. A big part of what makes stories of survival so intriguing is the excitement of seeing characters being pushed to their limits only to overcome them. We want to watch with rapt excitement as people are put against impossible odds only to keep going through sheer feats of wit, skill, and sheer determination.

And yet AVP basically puts all the characters into a death trap from which escape is more or less impossible. Characters are put up against impossible odds and then...well, then they just die.

It isn’t a story of survival so much as it is a string of people/aliens dying in X-treme ways. Everyone kind of feels like a redshirt more than a flesh-out character, because their choices never really have any impact and they’re really only there as meat for the grinder.

Now to be fair here, lots of movies sacrifice story and fulfilling character arcs for the sake of hardcore action. But this one takes it to such an extreme that they don’t even bother letting you know what most of the characters’ names are. And yet a while into the movie someone will be all like “WHATSYOURFACE! NOOOOO!” and I’m sitting over here thinking “wait, that dude had a name?”

When it comes to a movie like this the real question is who is this movie for? The way I see it there are three types of people that would be intrigued by AVP: 

People who want to see a movie that delves deeper into the lore of these respective franchises.

People who love bizarre B-horror movies.

People who just want to see xenomorphs have crazy fights with Predators.

If you’re in the first category and are looking for a movie that provides an interesting addition to your beloved Alien and Predator franchises? Well, you should probably lower your expectations.

But what if you already know the premise is inherently silly-good-fun and just want a crazy action fest, chalk full of predators (aka Yaujita/Hish-qu-Ten) and Aliens (aka xenomorphs) taking out humans and each other with signature style?

Well this movie certainly has lots of that!

Is it a quality example of that though? Well...that’s up for debate.

—————————————

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content warnings: ummm...shockingly I don’t think there are any serious ones here.

after-credits scene?: None.

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Directed by: Paul W.S. Anderson

Written by: Paul W.S. Anderson

Country of Origin: USA...

[also the United Kingdom, Czech Republic, Germany, and Canada? I’m really not sure of what the story behind that is.]

Language: English

Setting: Bouvetøya Island, Antarctica

Sequel: Alien vs. Predator: Requiem (2007)

If you liked this you might also like: Aliens (1986), Predator (1987), Tomb Raider (2018), Freddy vs. Jason (2003), Cowboys & Aliens (2011), Sadako vs. Kayako (2016)

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Context Corner:

Although it may seem odd, the connection between the Alien and Predator franchises actually goes back decades.

So the basic timeline goes like this:

Alien was the first one to hit the scene way back in 1979.

Then 7 years later (1986) its sequel Aliens was released.

A year after that (aka 1987) we got Predator.

The two franchises had nothing to do with one another, but they were both distributed by 20th Century Fox. Then later both franchises were licensed to the comic book publisher Dark Horse Comics.

The first time the world saw the two extraterrestrials cross paths was in a Randy Stradley and Chris Warner’s “Alien vs. Predator” chapter in Dark Horse Presents issue #36 in 1990.

Shortly thereafter the connection resurfaces as a pretty great easter egg in the 1990 film Predator 2, wherein you can see a xenomorph skull on the trophy wall in the Predator’s ship.

And ever since then it’s been a thing. Way before this movie ever came into being there were tons of Alien/s vs. Predator books, comics, video games (including a pinball video game), and even board games.

If you think Alien vs. Predator is still a slightly whacky concept, I feel compelled to mention that the crossover madness could have gone so much deeper! There are MULTIPLE examples of comics wherein the xenomorphs and predators encounter Batman...and Superman...and sometimes BOTH!

[I’m 100% serious. Look it up.]

—————————————

“I wish you’d reconsider coming with us, Lex. Come on, don’t make me pull out pictures of my kids again.”

“Your kids aren’t that cute.”

“What if we got pictures of other peoples’ kids?”

“Want my advice?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Stay on the boat.”