#i could’ve learned something too!! but noooo all i know is how to count to 5，how to say ‘watercolour’ and ‘pig’…

[deus-ex-mona]

[shakes the duolingo owl threateningly]

[kass-storycorner]

Oh god, okay hear me out. I suffer from insomnia and I couldn’t get Childes letter out of my head (btw the English version is so much less “I am in love with you” than the German one. He literally says in the German version that he misses us and wants us to visit him, like straight up this is a love letter!! The English version is really toned down in comparison).

So. I know his birthday is over, at least where I’m from. But. I wrote this whole ass fan fic, that is way too long, because I was so inspired by that letter. I’m not really satisfied with the ending, I honestly wanted to add so much more fluff but… I also didn’t want to make this too long, I actually planned for it to be short??? help (also it’s 4am now noooo)

Happy birthday, Tartaglia

Genre: a little bit angsty, fluff, comfort

Rating: SFW, though mentions of kissing and sharing a bed

Content warnings: mention of a family death, Bennett’s bad luck lol but both are unrelated haha

Characters: Tartaglia x gn!reader, a guest appearance of Bennett, mention of Zhongli

Word count: 2,796 words (oooh f*ck haha)

-

You’ve been busy the whole day doing some commissions for the Adventures Guild and were now on your way to Mondstadt, when you heard a familiar voice call your name. “(Y/N)!”, Bennett called out to you and ran into your direction. A deep sigh left your throat, while you enjoyed Bennett’s company most of the time… you had to deal with a ton of your own bad luck today. Not one of the commissions today went the way they usually did, everything that could’ve gone wrong did go wrong. It was honestly just very frustrating, although you couldn’t be really sure if it was because of bad luck or because your mind was somewhere else most of the day. You shook your head, trying to get rid of the tiredness you already felt in your whole body and made your way towards Bennett. No matter what he needed help with you would be sure you could handle it. And in that moment, as the thought of how it wouldn’t be a big deal whatever Bennett had on his chest, you saw how the young adventure tripped over his own feet and fell face forwards into the dirt. ‘Ouch, that must’ve hurt’, you thought while running up to him. “Are you hurt? Here, let me help you up Bennett”, you asked while helping him get up from the ground. All you got as an answer from him was his usual laugh and smile. “Oh man, I really didn’t see that stone. Haha, thanks for the concern though!” You couldn’t help yourself and chuckled at the way he wiped off the dirt from his clothes. “So, what’s up? What do you want from me?.” “Yeah, right! I nearly forgot!”, he exclaimed and started fumbling in his bag. “Oh, got a present for me?”, you asked sheepishly. “Kinda, not really. Here!” Bennett held a letter in his hands, both bandaged again, and stretching it out to you. “A letter? For me?”, you took it in your hands. In a fine handwriting there was your name on it. It didn’t even took you a second for you to register who’s hand writing it was. What a surprise.

Before you could even start to ask Bennett how he got his hands on the letter he was already excitedly explaining it to you. “Today I had a commission on Dragonspine and to be honest, it didn’t really went that well until I ran into this one guy. I accidentally activated a few Ruin guards and well, even the most seasoned adventurer can’t fight more than one of these at a time and sadly the newest members of Benny’s adventure team had to go home again before we made it even to the mountain.”

The thought of Bennett nearly finding his end today on Dragonspine really… it really did not sit right with you. You made a mental note to ask him later who the new members were that ditched him. After you had your talk with them they wished they had stayed with Bennett on Dragonspine. “Well, in that moment when they approached me that one guy showed up and it only took him a few minutes to defeat them all. (Y/N) that was so cool! I tried to recruit him for my adventure team, but sadly he said he was already occupied with something else. Oh man, it would’ve been so cool to have him on my adventurer team, imagine with such an excellent fighter no one would be afraid of my bad luck to join my team.” While you enjoyed Bennett’s enthusiasm you had to interrupt him. “Wait, wait, Bennett. The person who gave you this letter is on Dragonspine?”

“Oh yeah! As I was saying I tried to recruit him for my team, but failed however we talked a bit and somehow he mentioned that he knew you! When I told him we were friends he asked me to give you this letter the next time I saw you.”

You felt how the excitement in you grew. He was on Dragonspine? He was so close to you again? Now you hardly could pay attention to what Bennett continued to say, all that was on your mind was the man, whom you saw the last time months ago in Liyue was so close again. “Bennett,” you interrupted him again. “Thank you so much for the letter, but I really need to get going. Thank you so much!”

And with that you changed your direction and made your way directly to Dragonspine. “Oh? Okay, bye (Y/N)!”, you heard Bennett call after you, but your mind was already occupied with opening that letter he gave you.

With shaking hands you read what stood on that thin paper in that neat and familiar handwriting:

“Hey, comrade! How have you been? You must have traveled far and wide since we last saw each other, right?

For me, I can only seek out some entertainment for myself. These past couple of days, I’ve used a work opportunity to explore Dragonspine and seek out some local specialties. I hope they will be of use to you.

The harsh cold of the snow-capped mountains is reminiscent to the scenery of my hometown…

Sigh, I’ve had many mundane days that makes me nostalgic of our time together. Whether it’s a fight or a challenge, I always feel that having you around is what makes life really interesting.

Haha, to be honest, I’ve been planning a special day to meet up with you, today could be that chance! If you have no special plans, how about you swing by my place?

I miss you, Tartaglia”

Quickly you put the letter in your bag with what accompanied it and now you were basically running towards Dragonspine. Right now you didn’t want to think about what kind of “work opportunity” there could be for the Harbringer on Dragonspine, all you could think about was seeing him again.

It has been months since you both parted ways in Liyue. You met him while being on a commission, funnily enough it was a bit similar how Bennett ran into him today. In one of Liyues ruins you looked for a book some historian in Liyue Harbour desperately tried to get their hands on. By the amount of Mora they were willing to pay it should’ve been obvious to you that it wasn’t a one-person mission… and still, you went alone into those ruins. You had no problem in destroying the first two ruin guards you ran into, but when three activated at the same time… If it weren’t for Tartaglia back then you would probably be dead. At first you were very thankful for his help, however when you found out he was also there for the book you needed your thankfulness quickly turned into anger. “Well, don’t you think I deserve a reward for helping you out, comrade?”, he teased you.

After that day you somehow always managed to run into him in Liyue Harbour or on your commissions. Back then you only knew him by his name used by the Fatui, Childe. Though it was well known in Liyue that he was one of the Harbringers, you somehow didn’t get that message after months of openly antagonising him. Only after Childe invited himself to your usual afternoon teas with your friend Zhongli you learned about his affiliations, but also more about him. If someone was hearing two people bickering, the people of Liyue knew it was you two. However none of it was malicious. Somehow it was the way you and Childe showed each other the appreciation you had for one another.

The first dislike you had for him grew quickly into a warm friendship. And that friendship grew in something more after awhile.

The first time you noticed a change in your feelings towards Childe was around the time of the Lantern rite festival. One night you were supposed to meet up with Zhongli - but Childe showed up in his instead. Apparently, so Childe, there was a lot to do at the Parlour because of a new promotion the director wanted to try and needed Zhonglis help with, so Zhongli asked Childe to accompany you to the Lantern rite.

Until this day you weren’t sure if this was just a set up by Zhongli, but even if it was, you wouldn’t hold it against him.

That night, when you and Childe walked around Liyue Harbour and watched the lanterns something fundamentally changed between the two of you. After that night you knew so much more about him and he about you. From that day on he wasn’t Childe anymore, he was Tartaglia. And both of you finally knew how the lips of the other felt on your own.

Now you were so close again to feel his warm arms around you, to listen to the sound of his heartbeat when you rested your head on his chest and to feel his lips on yours again. Oh how you missed him too.

Parting ways wasn’t easy. Both of you knew that it was best to not be so public with your relationship, for several reasons. On the one hand the Fatui weren’t what you would call popular - most people would use some stronger word to describe them. Being a Mondstadt citizen in Liyue openly dating a member of the Fatui, yeah no. On the other it was also not really well liked by the Tsaritsa for the members of the Fatui, no matter if you were just a low henchman or a Harbringer, to get involved in that way with outsides. With “not well liked” it was more implied that she forbade any romantic relationships outside and inside the Fatui ranks when they were on a mission. And Tartaglia was on a mission, a mission you knew nothing about, but to be honest? You preferred it that way. The longer you were able to ignore what it meant for him to be part of the Fatui, the better.

So because of all of this you both decided it would be best to keep the relationship in the shadows.

You both knew for sure was that you had to part ways one day, however none of you expected that you were the one going home before Tartaglia. There were a lot of nights of laying in bed with him, sharing stories from each of your homes. You told him about the Windblume Festival and Ludi Hapestrum, he told you about the festivals and traditions of Snezhnaya. When you shared stories of how your little siblings and you loved to collect as many dandelions as possible when you were children to pretend that it was snowing in the summer, he would counteract that story with the times he built entire fortresses with his siblings out of the snow in the winter. Only to then pull you closer and whisper in your ear that he’ll show you how to do that when you come with him back to Snezhnaya. You would always whisper back “okay, but first you’d need to glide with me off Startsnatch cliff”. The lovely nights you both spend together, telling each other of your homes and how much you want to show it to them were harshly interrupted by a letter you got from your family.

Life sometimes isn’t fair. It’s hard and it brutal and it’s short. So when you got the letter from your family informing you that the youngest member of the family had died, it broke you to pieces. They were only 14. That night Tartaglia held you in his arms, his hand on the back of your head, your head pressed into his chest and none of you could say a word. Only the sound of you crying piercing the quite room. Too heavy was the grief for anything to be said anyways.

The day immediately after you received that letter you and Tartaglia parted way, a quite and sad goodbye. None of you were actually sure when you would see each other again. With his hands against your tear stained face, the tears not only being shed out of grief but also out of the pain you had to leave your lover, he promised to write you as often as he could. You promised you would answer. And then you left, wishing he could come with you. Words you did not dare to speak, because you knew he couldn’t, no matter how much he wanted to.

Now you found yourself close to one of the Fatui camps on Dragonspine. It was quite irresponsible to just run up the mountain, without any proper preparation or knowledge where Tartaglias camp actually was. You sighed. The excitement of seeing him after such a long time, after just exchanging letters got the best of you. Frustrated with yourself you made your way towards the campsite, hoping that this time the Fatui henchmen wouldn’t immediately start attacking every stranger they see. However when you arrived at the camp site you saw that no one was there. Too exhausted from the commissions earlier in the day and running up the Dragonspine you let yourself fall down in front of the extinguished campfire. Slowly but surly the cold weather of the Dragonspine was catching up to you.

Going through your bag you were looking for the stones Tartaglia send with his letter, hoping to ignite a fire with them. But before you could find them you heart footsteps in the snow behind you.

You hadn’t even had the chance to turn around before you felt two arms looping around your body, immediately warming you up.

“Hey comrade, did you miss me?”

You felt his head on your shoulders and you couldn’t help but to lean your own against his. One of your hands made its way up to his face, touching his cheek. “Yes,” you whispered.

Turning your head you now looked into his deep blue eyes, they were filled with all the love he had for you. You wished he could look at you like this forever… that you could look at him forever.

Tartaglia leaned a bit forward, placing a soft kiss on your lips and you couldn’t help it but smile.

He slowly pulled away, entangling himself from the hug and holding his hand out to you. “Come, let’s go inside the tent. You must be freezing out here”.

Inside the tent Tartaglia threw one blanket on another blanket over another over you, while lecturing you on what appropriate clothing was for a weather like this. You really didn’t give it any second thought when you made your way to Dragonspine, still wearing the same clothes you would wear on a sunny day in Mondstadt. But you also couldn’t hide it how much you loved to just hear his voice, even when he was nagging you. “It’s fine really, now stop trying to bury me under all the blankets and warm me up yourself”, you took his hand and pulled him towards you onto the plank. “You know some people would find what you said very suggestiv”, he joked, joining you under the immense amount of blankets. “Mmmmh,” was the only thing you replied, completely enamoured with him having you by your side again. For a few minutes the both of you just laid there, close to each other and feeling each other’s heartbeat.

None of you could actually believe your luck to be in the arms of the other again. How much you had missed this. Missed him.

“Hey,” he spoke softly, making you look into his eyes again. “How you’ve been doing?”.

It was such a soft question and you knew what he meant. You wanted to tell him how exhausting everything has been since your arrival, how your family was breaking apart at all ends, what a shit show it all was. In your letters you only alluded to how bad it actually is. How it was all just made worse by him not being at your side. Though you knew you would have to tell him all of this sooner or later, right now you didn’t want to talk about it. Not in detail. Not when today was actually his special day. “It’s manageable, but better now that I’m here with you”, you replied to his question. “You?”

“Better, now that I have you here”, was his reply. You both smiled at each other, a warm and tender smile. Slowly you adjusted your position so that you now were laying on top of him, your chin on his chest. “Hey, there is something I forgot to tell you.”

“Oh, and what is it?”

“Happy Birthday, Tartaglia”, and with that you kissed him.

[pradaksj]

the swimming lessons

all rights reserved © pradaksj

↳do not repost, translate, or claim as your own.

❧ pairing⟶  jungkook/reader

❧ genre⟶  swimminginstructor!jungkook , fluff, a bit of comedy? head canon/bullet points 

❧ rating⟶ e for everyone??? none??? idk how ratings work lol i just know that m = the dirty, which this story has none of

❧ word count ⟶ 5,000 

❧ summary ⟶  accidental swimming lessons with jungkook were definitely worth the money 

❧ a/n ⟶ i literally dreamt something similar to this in like january and told myself i'd write about it when i had the time so hear i am :)) this goes out to all my folks who can’t swim !! i'm on the same boat with you , get it?  cause we can’t swim ... ok anyways ... enjoy ! (note: i have not proofread this yet so sorry for any mistakes!! ill get to it soon !! ) 

“hello, welcome to lucky duck swim school, how can i help you?” the receptionist, who was loudly chewing her gum, sounded more like an automated voice message than a person...

see today was your first official swimming lesson

yay!! 

how fun!! ...

://

totally not embarrassing for someone your age !!!

honestly, it wasn't your fault you didn’t have any family members or friends with a big pool you could learn in growing up 

and by the time you did, you were too much of in an awkward phase to be properly taught

aka your body absolutely refusing to float on its own anymore

but after several trips to the beach with friends and attending different pool parties, you were tired of being made fun of !! 

no longer would you remain at 5 feet and under !!! not on your watch ! 

and so here you were, ready to start your journey into the world of swimming :)) 

“hi i um have a swimming lesson at 3 with um ... i believer her name was um—” 

hmmm what was her name ??? jennie??? no, maybe it was aaliyah ??? no that wasn’t it.... 

the receptionist taps on her keyboard buttons, her long nails making a noise 

pop, her bubblegum goes 

“jungkook” 

“yeah jungkook” you mindlessly say. 

wait 

WAIIITT

jungkook????

ummmmm 

that was not the game given to you by the last receptionist 

jungkook is a boy’s name !!! 

you didn’t want a boy instructor !!! 

not with the way you were looking 

“i um—i had asked for a girl instructor—” you awkwardly mention 

she rolls her eyes

um RUDE 

she continues clacking with her keyboard, looking for god knows what 

she sighs 

“there’s no slots with female instructors available for today, nor for the rest of the month, the earliest i can probably squeeze you in by is july.” she bluntly states. 

JULY??? 

july was when you needed to already know how to swim !!

that’s the peak of summer ! 

there was no point in knowing during winter or any other season besides summer for that matter 

and you were not going to get made of by your friends this year

no no NO

“soo do i reschedule you or.....” 

you sigh 

“no ill take it” you pout, resembling a child. 

“it it makes you feel any better, jungkook’s our best instructor, most popular too” 

wink 

oh yeah that makes you feel so much better 

>:( 

you were going to make a complete fool out of yourself in front of the so called “best instructor” 

“well go get yourself washed up, get into the pool, and jungkook will be with you shortly” she smiles, her attitude now changing now that (what looked to be a supervisor) was passing by. 

what a bi—

flip flop. flip flop. flip flop. 

your sandles press onto the water on the floor of the girls locker room, a grouchy look now on your face 

this wasn't fair 

you made an appointment with a female instructor!! 

you didn’t care if he was the best instructor or the most popular ...

squeeaaakkk , you twist the rusty shower handle

...because now you were you were going to be judged for your lack of skills 

not that you had any to begin with, but still! 

god, you sounded like such a karen ... 

it’s just ...

a guy instructor ??? 

really??? 

you understood that this wasn’t elementary school anymore and boys certainly didn’t have cooties anymore but like :// 

no no, you had to give this jungkook guy the benefit of the doubt

if he was one of the best, it was clearly because he was professional and good at what he does 

putting your worries to rest, you turn off the shower 

this was going to be fine

just fine 

clearly your worries were not put to rest 

just a temporary halt 

:) 

pat. pat. pat. 

okay let’s get it ! 

making your way out to the pool, you dip your foot in 

ooooo 

cold

VERY cold indeed 

1 ...2...

you dip your whole leg in, quickly using the momentum to place your whole body in 

“5 feet and below ... you’re my bitch !!” you think to yourself 

your hand still clearly gripping onto the ledge, still afraid of accidentally reaching 6ft

.... now to wait 

“megan seems to have fractured her leg last weekend on a rollerskating day gone bad, so you’ll be taking up her appointments for the next month of two until she’s cleared for work” 

huh ???

“but—” 

“also she, well now you i guess, have a lesson to teach at..” 

jungkook’s supervisor looks down at his watch 

“oh i guess in 30 minutes, could’ve sworn it was at 4..” he mumbles that last part to himself

30 minutes?! 

“don’t worry i’ll up your pay for the remaining time that she gets better” 

he winks ;) making a clicking noise with his mouth before leaving the staff room 

jungkook sighs 

today was supposed to be an easy day :/ 

a simple cleaning of the pool along with a couple of measly hours of being the lifeguard and that would’ve been it but noooo 

he just had to be the highest rated swimming instructor on the company website 

he couldn’t complain though, sometimes it was fun reading the reviews past students left, even if sometimes they were a little too...

whats the word...

provocative? 

it often made him wonder if he was in fact an actual good swimming instructor or if the high highly rated reviews were for other reasons.... 

honestly it’d be dumb of him not to acknowledge the amount of googly eyes he’d get ranging from the mother’s of his younger students to his actual adult students (female and male) 

he just liked to think that didn’t come into play when they wrote their reviews 

hehe 

changing into his black fitted rash guard, he glanced at megan’s schedule 

name : y/n 

age: 23 grown

swimming level: beginner  aka noob. 

he chuckles to himself 

well won’t this be fun 

he couldn’t lie beginner adult swimmers were always a spectacle to watch 

they almost reminded him of baby ducks learning how to swim 

only that they’d verbally curse their frustrations here and there 

quickly showering, he begins to make his way to the pool 

hmm, he wonders..

what should he eat after today’s lesson? 

a bacon cheese burger sounded really good 

maybe even grab himself some birria tacos from that new restaurant that just opened near his apartment 

hmm no he had to start spending less on takeout 

sigh 

looks like it’d be rame—

woah 

as corny as it sounded, he could’ve sworn he felt his heart skip a beat 

because whoever it was in that pool was pretty, like really pretty 

hOly ????? 

wowzers 

you couldn’t be y/n ... could you?!?!?! 

you were the only person who looked 23 years of age in the pool ...

ermmmmmm 

mayday mayday 

jungkook.exe has STOPPED WORKING  

whoever this jungkook person was, sure was taking their time 

deciding to have some fun before your lesson, you begin to gently play with the water 

swish. swoosh , the water goes 

soon you’d be well on your way to becoming the next michael phelps 

hehe 

maybe with time you’d even be able to a somersault in the water like your friend always—

“y/n?” a voice from behind says your name

ah finally 

taking in a deep breath, you turn your attention to the so called “best swimming instructor” 

OH.

MY .

GOD. 

WHAT ?????? 

this man looked like he came straight out of GQ magazine !!!! 

this HAD to be some mistake , there was just no way ... 

your cheeks feel as if they were burning up 

probably because they quite literally were 

there was no way you’d be able to come here every saturday for the next month, not without fawning for this dude every single minute 

“u-um” 

of course you were a stuttering mess

of FuCkiNg course 

“that’s me” 

cue the awkward smile 

:) 

“be professional” jungkook tells himself

at the end of the day, you were his student 

any crush on you would just have to wait until of course ... you were no longer his student 

for now the only goal was : teach you how to swim 

the next one down the list being : to take you out on a date ! 

he offers you a handshake 

wow he had a strong grip 

“i’m jungkook, i’ll be your swimming instructor for the next month” 

he flashes you his all too famous smile

there was just no way this man was real

just nO wAy 

“um..” 

crap, you were still holding his hand! 

idiot, idiot, idiot ! 

“sorry” you awkwardly laugh 

ha ha ha 

so funny 

:/ 

god did you just want to hide to disappear 

“it’s fine” he laughs 

even his laugh was attractive :( 

ugh 

“so y/n, before we begin with anything, i think it’s important to review about what kind of things you already know and what you don’t” 

oh right ... 

for a moment you had COMPLETELY forgotten you were here for swimming lessons 

how embarrassing 

“oh um..” 

um, um , um. 

IS THAT ALL YOU KNEW HOW TO SAY???? 

“so like floating, holding your breath underwater, pushing, gliding, arm movement, that kind of stuff,” he explains 

you knew a cool trick to make it look like you were water bending :D 

of course you weren’t going to admit that here 

silently you nod your head no 

he gives you a reassuring smile, sensing your timidness 

“that’s fine, only more for us—” he corrects himself, “for you to learn,” he laughs 

hey you weren’t complaining 

;) 

“so i personally always like to start off with teaching my students how to float. as long as we get that down then you’ll have no problem learning the rest” 

gosh his smile was so infectious 

shaking your head, you reminded yourself that this was your teacher 

+ you paid 300 bucks for these classes, so you couldn’t afford to be giving him the googly eyes all day 

you were so cute :( 

jungkook couldn’t help but find you so endearing 

the color of your swimming goggles even matched your swim suit :(( 

so cute ! 

“okay so the first thing i want you to practice is going underwater for a couple of seconds, just so you get used it,” he instructs, “i’ll demonstrate” 

taking in a deep breath, he goes down under 

1...2...3 

he’s back up 

pausing for about another three seconds, he takes in another deep breath of air before going back under 

1...2....3...4....5

he repeats the same thing over and over, until the max count becomes 20. 

“use my finger as your reference of when to go up, but come up for air whenever you feel like you need to. it’s important to go at your own pace, so don’t feel pressured to get it the first try” 

no pressure at all 

okay 

“you ready?” 

you nod your head 

“okay, deep breath in”

you sink your head underwater, mentally counting the three seconds before going back up 

“good job,” he gives you a high five, and you almost feel like a schoolgirl, “now let’s try to five seconds” 

woo!!! 5 seconds here you come !! 

taking in a deep breath you go down under again 

1....2.....3....4...5

easy peasy ... LEMON SQUEEZY 

“okay now to ten” 

1.....2......3......4.....5......6....7

umm

now why were these seconds going by slow all of a sudden? 

sucking it up you manage to make it to 10, but not without being out of breath 

“you okay?” he’s quick to ask 

yup, totally fine ! 

you definitely didn’t see the gates of heaven for a quick moment :D 

nodding your head, you enthusiastically say, “let’s go for 15″ 

he smiles at your enthusiasm

ahh so cute 

“1....2.....3......4......5.......6......7......8......9.....10.....11.....12....13...

nope nope nope

you were not going to make it to 15 

immediately you make your way back to the surface, trying to catch your breath 

“hey you did amazing,” he immediately reassures you, “remember as long your going your own pace then you’re doing just fine” 

<3 

well doesn’t that make you feel better 

you wonder if he’s this kind to all his students 

besides the most obvious reason, there was no question as to why he was the “most popular” instructor 

and to think you had been complaining earlier !! 

and soon you’re back underwater, going at your own pace until finallyyyy you’re able to make the 20 second count 

“nice !!” he genuinely celebrates with you, making you feel completely proud for yourself 

“okay now that we have that done, we can move onto learning how to float facing both front and back” 

ohhhhh

he was just thinking ahead 

cool :o 

“so what i want you do is first relax,” he laughs, gently pushing your stiff shoulders down 

as if your blush couldn’t get any deeper 

“now my personal belief is that all humans can naturally float, just that for others, it takes a bit of a push to get them at that state,” he begins to explain 

others meaning people like um you 

“the key to floating is to relax” 

oh you’ve heard that before

many MANY times and each time you’ve tried to so called “relax” you just end up sinking 

“the moment you fight or stress for even a tiny bit, you will sink. now i know what you’re thinking, ive heard that before” 

damn 

he was good 

“but sadly it’s true, until you learn to relax then you’ll be able to swim” 

you sigh 

this was where it became hard 

you were the queen of stress 

you and stress went hand in hand almost like a married couple 

it was just that deep water was scary !! very very scary !! 

the amount of horror stories you’d seen on tiktok was enough for you to know, ocean = scary 

“so here’s what i need you to do, i need you to place your arms on top of the water like as if you’re going to fly” 

you follow his commands 

he separates your arms, which had been too close together, giving them a small rub 

“remember you need to relax y/n,” he chuckles, feeling the tension in your arms

“relax, i need to relax,” you repeat 

“okay now right now when i tell you, you’re gonna take a deep breath in and look down, from there you’re gonna let you body move forward. so remember you’re not gonna jump, you’re just gonna let your body glide forward and float. almost as if you’re flying to me,” he explains 

mm it was easier said than done  

“you ready?” 

“okay deep breath in” 

you inhale a deep breath in 

“look down” 

you do that as well 

“and let go” 

slowly your body begins to rise on its own 

oh my god !!!!! 

you were about to float!!!!! 

the day has come !!!

no more staying at 5 feet and under 

you were ready to hang with the big kids :D 

but as quick as the momentum came, the faster it left because soon you felt yourself sinking, the breathing exercise jungkook had made you do now coming in handy 

no!!!! 

you almost had it :( 

it was right in your grasp, only to have it snatched away 

not wanting to offend you, jungkook keeps his giggles to himself 

“hey at least you almost had it,” he comforts you, “let’s just try again” 

you sigh, now letting your doubts creep in 

because of this, this time your body almost immediately sank this time

he frowns 

you were losing confidence :/ 

“come on i’ll help you” 

grabbing your hands, he signals for you to follow his breathing pattern

“deep breath in” 

“deep breath out” 

god, was his voice soothing 

“i need you to relax y/n, let everything go” 

a soft feeling of relaxation washes over you, similar to that feeling you’d get when you were on the verge of sleeping

“i’m gonna let you go at the count of three, and then you’re going to float, okay?” 

silently you nod, knowing that speaking would only cause you to tense up again 

“1...2....” 

he lets go, and soon you’re floating, just like he said you would 

you hold your breathe for a good while before standing back up, a huge smile on your face 

“holy shit! i did it!!” 

he gives you high five with both of his hands, for a second holding them before letting go 

“now let’s try floating on your back” 

he notices that there’s now a fire in your eyes that wasn’t there before

clearly you were now more determined to learn, excited too

preparing yourself to float once more, you realize you were missing something.... 

“jungkook...” 

he tilts his head, confused by the faint blush on your cheeks 

“do you think you can um—” 

now it was his turn to blush 

“o-oh yeah” 

what was his problem??? 

you were a student asking for help 

that was all ...

point blank. 

he helps you get on your back, his hand placed under your back as a way to keep you up 

“1....2....” 

you float easily again!! 

“nice!!” he smiles 

summer, here you come !! 

“okay so we’re gonna keep practicing that for the remaining time that we have and next week i’ll start teaching you about stroke techniques and which ones are easiest to do” 

nodding your head, you practice your floating by the end of the hour  having it practically mastered 

the two of you get out of the pool, now drying off 

“you’re a really fast learner y/n,” he compliments you 

hehe 

you mean, you didn’t wanna brag butttt 

you were a fast learner indeed 

“thank you,” you say in return, “but that’s only because you’re a great teacher” 

woah 

did you really say that :o 

aren’t you feeling a little bold today y/n  

his blush returns for the second time today

well technically you weren’t in class anymore ... 

a little flirting wouldn’t hurt right? 

if only he knew what to say .... 

hmmmm 

“well at least you won't ever drown!” 

HUH???????

jungkook, you idiot !!!!! 

someone needed to smack him straight in the face for that ! 

at least you won’t drown????

no fucking shit 

well there goes his chances with you now going down the drain 

but to his surprise, you laugh 

“you’re right, i won’t,” you say in return, “well i’ll see you next weekend jungkook” 

you flash him a smile, and he was certain he felt butterflies in his stomach 

walking into the girl’s locker room, you let out a sigh of relief

wheeeeew ! 

faking confidence was hard ! 

very VERY hard 

“so today you’re going to learn how to stroke so you can officially be called someone who knows how to swim, next week you’ll learn to tread water and continue perfecting your swimming, and then the final week i’ll teach you some fun extra things” 

“sounds good,” you say, definitely excited to learn more. 

“okay so now that you know how to float, right now when you float facing downward, you’re going to pull against the current with your arms, alternating each one. now the tricky part is that while you do that, you also have to paddle your legs a little and come up for air when you need to, and when you’re back in the water you should slowly be exhaling bubbles of air rather than holding your breath” 

well that sounded hard :/ 

“let me give you a demonstration,” jungkook says

he’s quick to float facing downward, showing you the maneuver he wanted you to learn while coming up for air every five seconds

thought it was a little childish, he somehow still looked good doing it 

he truly was blessed with the looks of a god 

he comes out the water

“okay now your turn” 

you nod your head, that determined look you had on your face last week now returning 

following his example, you begin your attempt at paddling and stroking your arms at the same time

SPLASH! SPLASH! SPLASH! 

immediately you begin to panic and water begins to splash everywhere, including on jungkook 

noticing your panicked state, jungkook is quick to grab you and place you back on your feet 

“hey hey, i got you,” he comforts you, not wanting you to feel discouraged 

you sigh 

:/ 

well that was embarrassing 

“remember y/n you have to learn to coordinate everything, so think of it this way. your legs have to always be paddling, it’s the arm and coming up for air that switch roles. when you come up for air, it’s only your legs paddling, while when you’re head is back underwater it’s both your legs and arms paddling. once you get that pattern, the bubbling will come naturally” 

you make an ohhhhh face

you could do that ! 

“remember what i told you last weekend y/n, you need to relax and be comfortable so you can build confidence. there’s no need to panic because i’m here,” he smiles at you 

gosh this just wasn't fair >:( 

cute and charming ???? 

this boy really had it all 

not wanting to disappoint, you try one more time, failing once again 

now you were frustrated :/ 

“damn it,” you mumble to yourself, a sadness to your voice

jungkook feels his heart swell 

he didn’t like seeing you sad :( 

but doggy paddling was the most basic technique he could teach you so he couldn’t really cheer you up by offering a different technique 

you needed to learn to doggy paddle before you could move on to the more bigger strokes

damn it ://  

“hey don’t feel bad about not getting right away,” he gives you a small smile, “i remember when i first started learning it took me forever to even learn how float, so the fact that you’re already at this point is enough of an accomplishment” 

well that makes you feel little better ... 

“but you were probably a kid, im ...” 

old , is what you want to say 

figuring what you were gonna say, he only laughs 

“who said i was a kid? i was probably like 19″ 

whaaaaaattttt! 

assuming he was your age (which he was), you do the quick maths in your head 

that was like .... 4 years ago ! 

how the hell did he get so good in such little time???? enough to be teaching courses ??? 

“not knowing how to swim is nothing to be embarrassed about y/n, if anything it takes a lot of courage to even sign up for a class so don’t beat yourself up too much for not getting it right away” 

he ruffles your wet hair, a small affectionate gesture 

you didn’t know how it was possible but you were falling for this man and QUICKLY at that 

he was just so ??$%@^! 

UGHHHH

“so let’s try one more time, and if you still can’t get it then we’ll push it to next week, a free extra lesson on me” 

eeeeek 

though the temptation to purposely fails was very intriguing indeed, you still had to try for the sake of it 

if you got it, you got it, and if you didn't well .... 

an extra week with jungkook it was :D 

“you ready?” 

you nod your head 

“1...2...” 

you float and begin to paddle, this time actually getting the hang of it !!!

you hear jungkook’s muffled voice from above the surface, “there you go!!” 

holy shit ! 

you officially knew how to swim !!! 

at least enough to save your own life if push came to shove 

once you were out of breath, you stand back up, a grin on both of your faces 

for jungkook it was hard not to tackle you in excitement so instead he settled for a very enthusiastic high five 

“you did it!” he cheers 

“ahhh!” you giggle like a child 

“from here on out, the rest is a piece of cake!” 

yay yay yay !!! 

“now let’s start working on deeper strokes, maybe we’ll even have time to throw in backstrokes!”

:////

noticing your changed expression, he awkwardly laughs while scratching his neck 

“or maybe not” 

this week was the final week of swimming lesson with jungkook

:(( 

last week’s lesson of treading water and perfecting your swim seemed to had gone by in literally the blink of an eye ! 

and so today was possible the last time you’d see jungkook unless you managed to grow the balls and ask him out once that clock hit 4, once you were no longer his “student"

by now you were 100% sure you liked the dude... like a lot 

and he was definitely someone you wanted to get to know outside of this pool 

you just weren’t sure if he liked you the same way 

you mean yeah there were definitely times that had you raising an eyebrow here and there, but you always excused it as him simply being a kind hearted person by nature 

because clearly his five star rating on the company’s website had to come from somewhere 

not that you checked or anything....

who were you kidding 

yes you did

your favorite review was the one that went..

“wow!! this dude is amazing !! came here for beginner lessons and even i found myself fawning for the dude , and i don’t even play for that side of the team !! not only were his lessons thorough, but he’s a very charming person ! 10/10 recommend!” 

and so you were stuck 

did he liked you or was he just treating you like he treated everyone?? 

“ahh y/n,” jungkook’s voice suddenly brings you back to reality 

“today’s our final lesson!” he announces, not sounding too sad

in fact he sounded excited  

damn :/ 

he playfully jumps into the pool, today being his so called “fun day” 

“so since today’s your last lesson i thought i could teach you how to do a.....” 

he pauses for dramatic purposes 

“SOmERSAuLT!!”

immediately your eyes light up 

ahhhhhHHHH!!!! 

you always wanted to learn how to do a somersault in water, remembering the number of times you’d look at your friend in jealousy whenever she did one 

“you ready??” 

eagerly you nod your head yes

“okay so the steps to doing a summersault is first of course, you need to take a deep breath” 

okayyyy 

“from there you tuck your chin to your chest, next you do the moment of the somersault by swinging your chest forward and gently kicking out your legs, so basically forming a ball and then kicking out.  naturally, if you have enough momentum, you’ll spin, but if you don’t just use your arms to complete it” 

“think you can give me a demonstration?” you innocently ask 

he winks at you, “of course i can” 

taking in a deep breath, he follows his own instructions, and you watch he perfectly executes his somersault 

“woahhh, that was so cool!” you say, even now finding the trick to be amazing 

“now i dont expect you to get it right away, so right now that you try i’m going tog hide you thought the movement so you get the gist of it” 

sounds fair enough 

you weren’t trying to drown on your last day either 

“okay, you ready?” 

“yes” 

“let’s get it!” 

taking a deep breath in, you feel jungkook’s hand get placed on your back, ready to push you so you could do the somersault 

“1...2...” 

and slowly you feel yourself spin with the help of jungkook, a smile already forming on your face 

“ahhh!” you smile big and wide, causing Jungkook to smile along with you 

“you think you’re ready to try it on your own???” 

“yes sir” 

“okay 1....2....” 

mustering up as much as force you possible could, you push yourself into ball and successfully do the somersault 

YUPPPPP 

WHOSE DOING IT LIKE YOU???!$%@$!

feeling an immediate rush of adrenaline, you begin to splash water all over once you come back up for air, declaring an all out water fight with jungkook 

soon the two of you are chasing one another, you now using your new swimming abilities to get away 

hehe 

you’re a swimmer 

:D 

the sound of jungkook’s infectious laughter fill the air and soon you feel him grab your waist at an attempt to stop you 

“gotcha” he says, and he turns you around to face him 

slowly each other’s heavy breathing becomes relaxed, and it’s as if you’ve felt a shift occur in what you considered your new “friendship” 

“so....” he awkwardly says, hands still wrapped around your waist 

his was was RED

like cherry tomatoes red 

this only makes you giggle 

if you had doubts before, you DEFINITELY didn’t have em anymore 

he liked you :)))) 

and you liked him :)))) 

and in ten minutes you were officially no longer his student so......

“there’s this new restaurant that opened near my place....” you say 

immediately his eyes light up 

“cancun eats?” 

you nod your head and he gives you a toothy grin 

“i was wondering if you’d want to go out some time...” you muster up the courage to ask him out 

%^@%!@&!@^&@%! = jungkook’s brain 

holy crap !!! 

you liked him!!! 

he wasn’t just delusional !!! 

“hello?? jungkook??” you laugh, waving a hand in front of his face for jungkook.exe had truly stopped working this time 

nodding his head yes like a child,  the two of you being to lean closer to another, the clear goal in mind being each other’s lips

because honestly you’d come this far now, might as well give him a .... 

“wait!” he suddenly interrupts  he glances at the digital clock on the wall, remembering your final lesson officially ends at 4

because no way in hell was he going to get fired for kissing a student on the clock 

3:59 

.....

4:00 

“okay now,” he smiles, and you only roll your eyes, happy to have taken up on those swimming lessons. 

a/n : i was gonna make this longer but this was always meant to be a small little head canon so :))) pls give this a like, comment, or a reblog if you enjoyed it !! (if u can of course) and my ask box is always open for whatever !! :)) see yall next time 💞

[agirlwhoisaphantom]

Moonlight - Adam Sackler x Reader

Chapter 1 - Kid

Word Count: 5595

Warnings: Mentions of cheating, wet dream,

Author's Note: I've been hiding this fic for quite some time and I just thought it was finally time to post it. I hope you enjoy it. Just a little FYI this is a bit of a slow burn things don't pick up until chapter 3/4 soo.

__________________________

You were in your psychology class trying to pay attention, but you couldn't. You were spacing out. Thinking about all the things that you could have been doing instead of sitting there in class. You could have been at home catching up with that show you just started or learning that new recipe you found.

You see this 6'4 guy with long perfect hair with broad shoulders walk into the room. He had features of a god. He was gorgeous. He couldn't be a new student; it was already mid-semester. The school you attended was fairly small. You could've noticed him by now.

He looks around the room before he makes eye contact with you and starts walking in your direction. As he starts to get near you, he doesn't break eye contact. To him, you were a prize he was trying to reach.

Once he is right in front of you, towering where you were sitting, he grabs your chin and tilts it so you could see his face more clearly. "You'll soon get what you deserve, princess," he says in a seductive voice. He grabs you by your hand and pulls you out of your seat.

Dragging you out of the classroom to take you to the nearest closet.

As he opens the door, your anxiety rises, thinking about what might happen next. "Hey, aren't we going to get caught" you mentioned to him in a worried tone of voice.

He wraps his arms around your waist, bringing you in closer to him. "Do as you are told, and we won't get caught." He whispers into your ear.

The space between you and him got smaller. Things were getting steamy-

BEEP

BEEP

BEEP

"Noooo, a couple more minutes, please." you yawned to yourself. It was a dream that you did not want to wake up from. You wondered who that person was and if you have met them somewhere.

As you reached over to grab your phone where your alarm was still going off, you checked the time, wanting to know if you could sleep for a couple more minutes to go back to dreaming about that person.

It was 7:30 AM, and your class started at 8:30 AM; usually, at this time, you were in the train station, but instead, you were dreaming about a man you have never seen before and wanting to get railed by him.

You rushed on getting ready, so you could catch a train before your class started.

---------------------------

New York City is one of the busiest cities globally, also a city that you have always wanted to live in since you were a kid.

When you and your best friend Amelia got accepted into NYU, you decided to live in the same apartment. Both of you wanted to experience everything together.

You have lived there for six years, and no matter what, there is always something new to discover, it could be a new fashion store that opened or a new McDonald's, cause there is a need for a McDonald's in every corner.

This is your last year of Graduate School at NYU. You were so tired of this, and you just wanted to graduate already.

After all your classes are over, you and Amelia would always meet at Café Grumpy to occasionally catch up and leave the house. You enjoyed the coffee and food from there.

Every time you went inside there, it smelled like fresh coffee, and Ray was always there as well. "Hello, welcome back to Café Grumpy, the usual, right?" He asked with a smirk on his face.

"Good afternoon, Ray, and yes, the usual." you snapped your fingers as you agreed to what he said.

You have known Ray for the past couple of years; you never knew him personally. But you two did exchange a couple of interactions. He would always be the one to prepare your coffee and Amelia's. You probably had more mental breakdowns in that shop, something that you were not proud of. Since Ray was much older than you, he would be there for you and give you the best advice he could.

You were spacing out. You hear Ray's voice. "Are you feeling better? I know it's been a rough couple of weeks since that break up with Oscar," he hands you your cup of coffee and Amelia's. Oscar was the guy you have dated for the past 2 ½ years but recently broke up with him because he was cheating on you.

A frown formed on your face. You didn't like remembering Oscar and what he did to you. "I'm doing fine; he didn't deserve me anyway. I was too good for him." There was a small sigh when you said that.

Amelia was walking towards where you were sitting at "That is correct. He never deserved a lovely, funny, realistic girlfriend like you. Even from the start, he didn't deserve you." she sounded straightforward and positive in what she said.

She always knew what to say to make your day. "Amelia, always telling me something I don't know" there was a sass on your tone. Your relationship with Oscar was toxic to the point where you forgot your self-worth and only focused on pleasing him. But after catching him cheating on you, it made you realize how strong of a person you were and how you didn't need him in your life.

"She's right, you know; any guy would be lucky to have you" Ray was smiling as he was handing you a breakfast sandwich. "just to let you know this is on me, I'll pay for you and Amelia's food and drinks. But don't get used to it because I won't be doing it all the time."

You weren't sure how to respond to what Ray has said, so you just decided to give a detailed response "hah, keep saying that, and I'll stay single for a while," you chuckled as he told you that. "Also, thanks, we'll repay you." you were grateful that Ray did that for you and Amelia once in a while.

What you told Ray made you think, were you going to be single for a while, or are you going to find someone right away. But then again, you wanted to love yourself before you loved someone else.

---------------------------------------

After hours of just talking to Amelia and Ray, it was time for you to head home. It was getting dark, and you had homework to do.

Afternoons were your favorite time to walk around because of the sunsets. No matter how long you have lived in New York, you would have always taken pictures. By now, your gallery was full of those sunsets instead of images with your friends or family.

You lived in Manhattan, probably the cheapest place in New York you could find. The apartment wasn't that big; it had two bedrooms, one bath, a small kitchen and living space, and a balcony that connected your bedroom to Amelia's. It was big enough for two people to live in. It was decorated very minimalistic; of course, some of the landscape pictures you took and some portraits that Amelia has painted throughout the apartment.

Looking through the cabinets and through the fridge, you noticed you had all the ingredients to make chicken alfredo with mashed potatoes" Hey, are you craving chicken alfredo with some mashed potatoes?" You were taking out the ingredients to make the food. You were the one to cook all the time since you enjoyed cooking and did not mind cleaning the mess afterward. "Even if you're not, I'm still making it because I am craving it."

Amelia was browsing through Netflix, trying to figure out what to put "whatever you want to make, you know I'll shove it down my throat."

Your phone that was across the table started to ring. As you picked it up, you saw the name Oscar. Your heart started to beat fast. You had a blank stare as you watched your phone just ring.

Amelia notices your blank face, "Is it Oscar again? Gosh, when is he going to leave you alone" she rolls her eyes. She starts walking towards you to see if you need any comfort or if you wanted her to answer.

"Yeah, it's him. Can you answer the phone for me? I'm not sure if I can talk to him" you gave her your phone.

This was not the first time he called after the breakup. Usually, you would just ignore the calls. This time it was different because of the talk you had earlier with Amelia and Ray. The thought of you giving someone everything just for them to go behind your back to do that was a scary thought.

While your mind wondered with all these thoughts, you could hear Amelia just yelling at the phone. Telling Oscar to leave me alone and just to let the relationship we once had go.

Hearing him argue with Amelia in the other room made you want to curl up in bed. But instead, you just sucked it up and started making the food because the food will never hurt your feelings or cheat on you.

Amelia walks into the kitchen and places the phone on the counter. "He is such a jerk. I still don't understand how you decided to date him. Out of all the people in New York, you decided to spend two and ½ years with him." She was rambling on how much she disliked Oscar. You zoned out, not wanting to pay attention to what she was saying.

"I don't understand either, but hey, can we just talk about something else; I need a distraction."

While you were finishing the food, Amelia was still browsing through Netflix, trying to find something the both of you could watch.

Amelia gives you a look of regret as you approach her with the food. "I'm sorry that I exploded on you about Oscar. What he did was unacceptable. I hate seeing you hurt over a stupid guy," she mentions as you give her a plate of food.

There was a small pause in between as you sat next to her. "It's okay, Amelia. I'm hurting over a dumb boy."

Once you finished your homework and the movie that Amelia put on the TV, it was already nighttime. Your mind wanders back to the dream you had. Who was this guy, and have you seen him before.

Amelia had her bed, but sometimes she would come over to your bed and sleep with you. Especially during times like this, where you needed her company. Amelia was scrolling through Instagram, trying to find new inspiration for her latest painting. "Hey, Amelia, do you know if we know anyone that is around 6'4 that had perfect shaggy hair?" you asked her, trying not to make it obvious that it was a dream.

She got up and sat up quickly as you caught her attention "oh, so now we have a new lover, and it's not been two months past your breakup" she was looking at the way you would react to her saying that. But your face was not showing any signs that you might have met someone new or even talked to someone new. You looked confused, and all you wanted answers. "Hey, don't look at me like that. We both have a busy life outside of these four walls, you don't expect me to know every single move that you do, and no, we do not know anyone that fits that description."

"Oh, okay, just asking" you wanted to drop the topic as fast as you could. "We should go to sleep. I have work tomorrow, and you do too"

You turn off the lights and proceed to go to bed.

---------------------------------

"Such a naughty girl, listening to what daddy wants to do, does it turn you on being here in the closet with me at the university you attend at huh."

It seemed like it picked up right where it left off. Oddly enough, it was the same guy you dreamt of last night.

You stood there quietly as you tried to analyze his beautiful face.

He proceeds to tell you all the things he wants to do to you. "I want you to get on all fours and not make a sound," he whispers into your ears; as he does that, he wraps his big hand around your throat.

You nodded your head in agreement "yes. I'll stay as quiet as I need to-"

BEEP

BEEP

BEEP

"Ugh, not again." This time, you woke up on time. When getting ready, you decided to wear something that hugged your curves perfectly—a turtleneck shirt with a cardigan and a nice pair of jeans with some heels.

On the days you didn't have class, you worked as a secretary at a lawyer's office, it was not your dream job, but it did pay you well. Your boss was chill about you going to work a couple of minutes late. She knew how busy the streets could get, and if you were able to pass by a coffee shop and get her coffee, she would forgive you for your delay.

As you were walking the same route, you wanted to catch up on some of your reading. The people around you were too focused on making sure they got to their destination on time instead of focusing on whether you were on their way.

Out of sudden, you bump into with 6'4 man, "Hey, watch it Ki-" he froze. To him, you were the most beautiful person he has ever seen.

You panic. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to bump into you," you were trying to gather yourself. As you made eye contact with him, you noticed that he had the same features as the guy you have been dreaming about. But seeing him in person, he was more attractive.

We stared at each other for a couple of minutes.

"umm yeah, it's alright kid, are you new around here? I have never seen you before" He looks at you like there's nothing else around but you. He looks up and down, looking at how perfectly your outfit hugged your curves. "Can I just mention that you are gorgeous and hot, wow"

You smiled and tucked in your hair behind your ear "thank you" This was the first time you have ever gotten a compliment in a very long time; you were unsure how to react. "Yeah, I have been here for a couple of years. I mean, it's a pretty big city. I doubt that you would have ever seen me" You never thought you would imagine that the guy you were dreaming about would live in the same city you did.

There was a small pause in between what you had said, "Is there a place that you need to be? I can walk you there. I want you to get there safely" He insisted on taking you to work. He didn't show any signs of being a creep, so of course, you agreed that he could walk with you.

The whole time you walked together, it was quiet, but having his presence next to you, was calming. It was odd. You have never felt this calm next to a stranger.

As you both get to the building that you worked at, "Hey, I know that we haven't known each other for long, and this walk was quiet, but I would like to get to know you." You scanned his face to see if he was lying or just trying to be weird. But no, he was genuine. "I would love to take you out to get coffee sometime if that's okay with you" He looked unsure if he wanted to ask you that. Maybe it was the fear of rejection.

You had a small smile on your face. You wanted to know him as well. "So far, I've enjoyed our quiet walk, and It would be lovely to grab a cup of coffee sometime" You take out some sticky notes and a pen from your purse and start writing down your number with a little heart next to the last digit. "Here, take this, don't blow up my phone, or I'll block you, okay" You hand him the sticky note with a smirk on your face.

The moment you mentioned a number, that's when his face lit up with the most dorkish yet cute smile. "Aye, Aye, Captain, I can't make any promises that I won't."

Walking towards the building, you felt like someone was watching you. You turn around to see who it might be, and it was him. He wanted to make sure that you go into the building safely. Then you realized that you didn't even know his name and how you gave him your number in a heartbeat. That was the dumbest thing you have done. But what is the worst he can do? He didn't know your name either. He can probably just send it to spam callers.

Either way, you didn't regret giving him your number.

Deep down, you thought, 'he'll never text me or call me. He was just nice by walking me to work. I'll never get to see him again.' Before you enter your shift, you text Amelia every time you get there, so she knows you got there and nothing happened to you on the way. You didn't tell her that you met this guy and that you willingly gave him your number. To you, it didn't matter. It's not like you were going to see him again.

Hours go by. It was already the end of your shift. You said your goodbyes to your boss and coworkers.

As you check your phone, you notice that there were three new messages from an unknown number. You took a deep breath as you unlocked your phone, thinking it was probably spam messages or reminders that you needed to pay your bills.

2:12 PM Hello Kid, it's me, that rando that walked with you

2:30 PM, please tell me this is your actual number and not some random person's number

3:23 PM, it probably is, well, shit. But if it is yours, call me when you get out of work. I want to go ahead and buy you coffee.

Reading those messages brought a smile to your face. Even without knowing his name, it made you happy that he texted you.

Your heart is racing as you call him, thinking that he isn't going to pick up.

"Hey kid, so you didn't give me a random person's number, huh" You could hear the excitement in his voice through the phone.

"Hello there, actually no, this is a random person's number, you got fooled" there was a small giggle that came out.

He went along with what you said, knowing for sure it was you and not someone else. "darn it. Either way, is this random person willing to grab some coffee in about 10 minutes."

"She accepts, and she will be waiting for you to come. Don't be late. I don't like it when people are late and especially when it comes to my coffee."

"Aye, Aye Captain, I won't be late, not even a second late."

"I'm holding your word to that, hah."

When you hung up the phone, you had the biggest smile on your face. The thoughts of 'how come this nameless person was able to make me feel this way' were going through your head. It felt like you were a teenager with a high school crush. This was a new feeling to you. You never experienced having these emotions over some guy.

Eight Minutes pass by, and you see that 6'4 gorgeous man was walking outside of the building you work at, waving his hand trying to catch your attention. You grab your bags and start walking towards the door. Before you could push the door, he opens it for you. "Thank you" You lock eyes with him, and that feeling from earlier where nothing matters came back. The sound of cars honking and people walking by didn't matter because it was only you and him.

"You are very welcome. There's a new coffee place that opened up not that long ago that I want to take you". He points to the left, and of course, there was a big sign on the shop saying, 'NEW LOCATION' You agreed to go with him, and you didn't care where you two went. All you wanted to do was spend time with him.

Both of you were walking to the coffee shop, and it was relatively small and very casual. There was loud music playing in the background. He opened the door for you, and inside, it smelled like fresh coffee. The inside was beautiful. The tones were very earthy and brown colors. Even if you didn't come with him, you would have loved to be in this place. It felt like home. While you two were getting in line, you finally asked him the question that has been in your head all day. "Something that has been bugging me is that I'm here grabbing coffee with a person that I don't even know; you might be a murder or a cat person, and I wouldn't even know your name."

He makes a facepalm motion when he realizes that you were right. You didn't know his name, and he didn't know yours. "shit, you are right. I haven't even told you my name. It's Adam."

Adam, why was that so fitting for him. You never thought that this beautiful man would have the most straightforward name. You loved his name already. You tell him your name, and the way he reacted was the cutest. "So that's the captain's name. To be fair, that is a beautiful name." You had a smile, and your cheek turned into a rosy color. You never thought that he would react to your name like that, mainly because he could have met a lot of people with that same name.

To him, your name meant more than just a random person's name. He didn't care if other people had the same name as you. He only cared about knowing your name.

The line got shorter, and it was your time to order what you wanted to drink. You look over the menu, and the most appealing drink you could see was a Macchiato. That was your safe drink when it came to new coffee places.

As you look over the menu, Adam stares at you, the way your eyebrows are shaped, the way you look so concentrated on reading every word on the menu. As before bumping into you, you were still the most beautiful person he has ever seen. "Are you ready to order what you want?"

Looking over the menu one more time, just making sure that a Macchiato was something you wanted. "I think so. I'll probably just want a macchiato, something simple."

"Do you want anything to eat? It's probably been hours since you have last eaten," he says in a concerning voice.

Even though you were hungry and wanted to order something to eat, you didn't want him to waste more money on you. "No, that would be it. I can probably get something to eat on the way home. Thank you, though. I appreciate it."

While waiting for the drinks to be ready, you two go sit down. It was quiet for a while before they called Adam's name to go and get the drinks. Hearing his name just brightened your day. You thought, 'I don't think I would ever get tired of hearing his name.' As he walked in your direction, you can't help but notice how big his hands were.

"Here is the macchiato for the lady" While you grab your cup of coffee from his hands, you notice how small your hand looked compared to his. "now that we are here, tell me about yourself." He wanted to know everything about you, from what you like to eat to what you like to do in your free time.

"Well, I'm in my last year of graduate school in NYU, getting my Human Development and Social Intervention Master's degree, gosh that was a handful to say. I work at a law office." There was a pause as you were trying to think of things you did in your free time. "There's nothing that exciting about my life, really." All you did was go to work and school. It made you realize how it has been a cycle your whole time you were in here.

With the facial expression, you can tell that he wanted to say 'really,' but instead, he said something else. "That sounds like some bull. Getting a degree in Human development or some shit like that is quite interesting" he was interested in what you were saying. "Also, I doubt that is all you do. There must be something else, a hobby? A show you enjoy watching." He did not believe one bit that your life could be boring.

Talking about yourself was not something you did on a day-to-day basis. So when Adam started asking these questions, it was really hard for you to think about it. He was the first person to ask you to talk about yourself in a very long time. You were unsure what to tell him, as you were stirring your coffee with a spoon, trying to figure out what to say. He grabs your hand that was just resting on the table. "It's okay if you don't want to tell me. If you don't feel comfortable telling me it's cool, I understand" He was reassuring you that you didn't have to tell him anything you didn't want to.

He still holds your hand, making sure that you are comfortable around him. He didn't want to mess things up with you. He wanted to flirt with you and kiss you, but he also wanted to make sure you were comfortable.

The place started to get packed, and the walls felt like they were closing in on you. You began to feel claustrophobic with the number of people around. "Adam, can we leave the place and walk around?" You needed to get out of the place before more people came in.

He grabs your bag and helps you get up from the chair. You started to walk forwards, and even though you couldn't see him, you could feel his presence behind you. As you both left the shop, you turned around to make sure he was right behind. You wait for him as he catches up to you. You go ahead and wrap your arm around his. He had a slight smile when you did that. "I'm sorry for not answering your questions. Usually, no one asks me to talk about myself, so I'm unsure what to say."

He understood, and he was in the same boat as you. No one asked him to talk about himself either. If you were to ask him, he would freeze just like you did. "It's alright, kid, let's take you home. It's getting late" This was the second time he walked you to your location. He wanted you to get home safely and wanted to stay with you for a longer time.

This time it wasn't a quiet walk, you joked around with him, and he joked around with you. The way you both talked, it seemed like you knew each other for years and not only for a day.

You were the first girl he didn't want to take home and hook up with. You were different, he wanted something new, and he wanted to experience it with you.

You were outside the building of your apartment, and you see Amelia run towards you and Adam. "Where were you, it's past 6:30, and you are usually here earlier. I was about to set an Amber Alert on your ass" She hugs you ignoring the man next to you. As she lets go, she finally notices him and gives him a perplexed look. She pulls you away from Adam. She didn't know him. She thought he was some creep just trying to get to know where you lived. "You can go now. You don't need to walk her in." She had a disgusted look on her face while she made the shoo motion.

You were embarrassed that she was acting that way. Usually, she wouldn't mind if a guy walked me home. You gave Adam a look that you were sorry. "I'm so sorry. I never thought this would be the way you two meet. Amelia, this is Adam" You had a frustrated look on your face. You didn't want Amelia to know about Adam until you were sure that you wanted to talk to him for a while. 'I guess faith has another plan for me, instead of letting me do my own thing.' Instead of keeping that thought to yourself, you said it out loud without even knowing that you did.

Adam and Amelia both heard what you said and giggled.

Adam stares at you like he had the heart eyes emoji on his face. Amelia noticed how he was looking at you and decided to walk into the building, so you and he would have a moment together. You knew the moment you entered the apartment, she would be asking you a ton of questions. The idea of going home felt like a nightmare, but that's where your bed was at, so you didn't have a choice.

After what happened between the three of you, you were unsure if he ever wanted to talk to you again. If it was you, after that, you would have just run the opposite way. He could feel that you were worried. "If you think that Amelia scared me away from you, you thought completely wrong." He wraps his arms around you, and you hug him back. Feeling his warmth was one of the best feelings in the world. You were so much tinier than him, so hugging him felt like you were hugging a bear. After a couple of more minutes, letting him go was hard. Adam looks up and notices that Amelia is looking down to where you and he were standing. "It's getting late, and I can see that someone is creepily watching us." You look up, and you see the same thing that Adam did. You both giggled that Amelia wasn't trying to hide that she was staring at the both of you.

Watching him walk away made you sad. You wanted to spend more time with him.

Entering the apartment, Amelia rushed to open the door before you could. She had a ton of questions ready for you on a notepad. You took her hand and walked towards the couch. The questions went from “where did you meet him? How did you meet him?... etc.” You answered every question, even though you really didn’t want to. “So you met him, and you didn’t plan on telling me” she grabbed the pillow that was right next to her and smacked you with it. You went ahead and grabbed a pillow next to you and started to have a pillow fight.

Hours passed by, you finished your homework, your readings, and finished cooking dinner. As you are getting ready to go to bed. All you could think about was him, how sweet he was to you, how beautiful his face was, just the thought of Adam. Your phone starts to ring as these thoughts continue. You look over to your phone to see who it was, and it was Adam.

There was noise in the background. It sounded like there was construction going on. “Hey Kid, what are you doing up so late? Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“Hey Goof, Fun fact I was about to go to bed, but you called, meaning that you interrupted me from going to bed.” You were tucking yourself to bed at this moment.

“I’ll just buy you coffee tomorrow.” He mentions in a sweet tone of voice.

“I hate that you have only known me for a day and already know that I love coffee” It was the opposite. You didn’t mind if he knew that you enjoyed drinking coffee. Instead of just remembering how your body was shaped, he would remember you by something you enjoyed drinking.

Adam was thinking about you before he decided to call you. He missed you. He missed the way your voice sounded. “I’m going, being honest with you, I was just thinking about you, and I thought I would call you.”

Did that comment just make your heart flutter? Yes, indeed it did. It’s crazy how in just one day of meeting Adam, you never felt happier. He made you feel things that you thought you’d never feel again.

You both talked for an hour straight, just talking about the tv show you were just watching; meanwhile, he was talking about wanting to build a boat in his apartment. But no matter what, you never have that awkward pause in between topics.

Once the call ended, It made you realize that this was just the beginning and that it would be a bumpy road ahead. But it didn’t matter because it was with him.

[hoshi-u-love-me]

Boo Seungkwan, PhD

Group : Seventeen

Pairing : Seungkwan × Reader

Genre : Drabble, crack

Word count : 1.2k

Warning : defamation of 부교수님, jealous booboo

a/n : I legit thought of this whilst watching Seungkwan's 'We Remember Kpop 3' lmaooooo I hate me

"(Y/N)? I'm back" Seungkwan called.

You craned your neck from your position on his back and smiled when he came to view, "hey Booboo" you called out.

He scoffed while putting his bag down to the side of the bed, "really? Booboo? You're still adamant on using that overly cheesy and obvious nickname? Oh, how the mighty has fallen" he joked while plopping himself next to you.

Seeing that he's still wearing his outdoor clothes, you tried to push him off the bed with your feet, "Seungkwan! Corona! Dirty outfit! Change!" You exclaimed with each push.

At first he retaliated, holding onto the bedpost and instead pushing you back. But soon he falters when you lift your legs higher and push at the sides of his waist, jolting him up and off the bed.

"That's a dirty trick! But you got a point so I'll change now" He exclaimed as he walk around to his dresser and pick new sweats and hoodie.

"Oooh~ yeahh that's it baby, strip for me" you smirked, pretending to position yourself more comfortably in the middle of the bed. Hands behind your head, you put on your most daring smirk and suggestively raised both of your eyebrows at him.

Seungkwan had a look of horror on his face, eyes wide and jaws unhinged. He was looking at you as if you've just done something beyond crazy in front of him like strangle a puppy. He couldn't even utter words properly, his brain was buffering due to the shock from your words.

It took a few moments but he managed a scoff, putting his hands on his waist and look at you in bewilderment, "wow, you really are something else, aren't you? 'Strip for me'? Really? Where did you learn that from, Fifty Shades of Grey?" He nagged.

Rather than feeling ashamed because you got scolded, you just giggled at him. He took this opportunity to smack you twice with his hoodie before going out to change his clothes.

Whilst he was changing, you decided to go to instagram and just scroll through nothing, not even knowing what you want to see because you're just bored and Seungkwan will be back in no time anyways.

True to your assumption, Seungkwan came back fairly quickly. Plopping his body on the mattress and snuggling his face into your stomach, making you giggle because it tickles a bit. But you both settled into comfort with him humming a tune and you carding your hand through his hair while still scrolling on your phone.

"Oh, what did you think about today's live broadcast ?" He asked, breaking the silence. You scrunch your eyebrows in confusion, "live broadcast? What live broadcast?" You asked back, not bothering to look up from your phone.

At your response, he lifted himself up slightly, "my live broadcast, you know? 'We Remember Kpop 3'?? On vlive?? You didn't watch?" He pouted, whining a little. "Aww, sorry that I missed it Booboo" you cooed, patting his cheeks lightly.

"I don't get it, you watch MMTG because of Jaejae but not me, everyone loves how knowledgable I am! I'm Professor Boo, for God's sake, I have an unofficial PhD in the study of kpop" he nagged. It honestly looked adorable seeing how passionate he is talking about his job which he loves more than anything. But definitely less than his mom of course.

You drop your gaze from your phone to him, "See, that's the thing Kwannie-," "Kwannie? Who the heck is Kwannie? I'm Booboo, you called me Booboo so I'm Booboo, I accept nothing less" he cut you off, "but I thought it's 'too cheesy'? You said it like 20 minutes ago" "yeah well I change my mind, I'd rather you be cheesy but original than normal but basic" he scoffed, crossing his arms on his chest as he made himself comfortable laying his head on your lap.

You sighed and nod, "yeah, okay, sure. But anywho, there's a slight problem with what you said"

He looked up at you and raised an eyebrow, "what could possibly be reason enough for you to not listen to your own boyfriend's live broadcast?"

A small, apologetic grin rose on your face before you answered him, "I don't even listen to my teachers and/or professors, and I paid for those classes, what makes you think I'd want to listen to a class that I don't pay for?"

Seungkwan now looks incredibly shocked. Looking at you with wide eyes and a bitter smile that screams 'are you freaking serious?'.

"Are you for real? Really? Wow, this is amazing," he laughed sarcastically while sitting up and clapping his hands, "and here I thought my girlfriend came here to spend time with me after seeing me live and she realized she missed me, but apparently that's not the case, I'm lucky I still have Jeonghan hyung and S.Coups hyung by my side supporting my live broadcasts and even showing up-"

"Wait, Seungcheol oppa was in your live broadcast??" You cut him off this time. He nodded, "yeah, why?"

"Well, why didn't you tell me!? You could've start with that!" You immediately go to your vlive application to watch the video of the broadcast. Seungkwan didn't welcome your eagerness at all though, for obvious reasons. You showed interest once he mentioned his leader so you could say he's a little bit jealous. A little.

Maybe a blob.

Or a glob.

Whichever's the bigger one.

Bottom line is it's there.

He grabbed your legs and pulled you to him, snatching your phone out of your hand, "are you really watching the rerun because Coups hyung is in it?" "What ? Noooo of course not, I wanna see you too" "Ha! Too! You said too! Meaning you DO wanna watch Coups hyung more than you wanna watch me!" He exclaimed.

You rolled your eyes at him, "oh come on, I'm trying to fulfill my place as your dutiful girlfriend, gimme back my phone" you whined.

Seungkwan pretended to think for a bit before he shoved his face in front of you, "kiss me first" so you peck him on the lips for a quick second then reach out to grab your phone from his hand. The kiss was unsatisfactory to him so he whined and move your phone further away.

"Properly!" He groaned, puckering his lips and shoving his face to yours again, making you giggle.

So you tackle forward, flinging yourself to his lap and peppering his face with kisses several times before finally landing on his lips. The kiss was sweet and had you both melting. Seems like Seungkwan's initial jealousy melted away too because he handed you your phone in the middle of the kiss.

After a while, you both pulled away, panting slightly but both of you has a stupid smile etched on your faces.

"Watch the rerun with me?" You whispered before leaning in once more to give him a final soft kiss on his lips.

You could see him blush, probably due to the impromptu make out session. But he nodded before pushing you back to lay down, he then lay his head on your chest, snuggling there comfortably as you proceed to press play on the video.

You both spent the rest of the day on his bed, watching different videos together and him spilling fun facts when something familiar came up.

[anxiouslyfred]

@candied-peach here’s your gift for the gift exchange from @sanderssidesgiftxchange. Well the painting was an impulsive addition when I finished editing it last night

Peppermint Leaves

word count: 12322

AO3  - I’ve split it into chapters on AO3 but here it’s just all in one piece so it’s your choice how to read it.

Summary: When any strong emotion has leaves or petals forming in your mouth it's easy to forget that doesn't say anything about what is felt. Remus has always been open about the plants he gets but impulsively declares his love the first time he sees those leaves. When the moment is interrupted without him getting any response Remus decides the best option is avoiding Logan and Janus for a while. 

Warnings: based of hanahaki disease, a heart model gets stabbed, mentions of conversion therapy

Thank you to my Beta Reader @hitmewiththatfanart33 for your help.

/\/\

Logan had known Roman and Remus for almost 10 years, since they were teenagers, so it really shouldn't have surprised him when Remus spat leaves onto the apartment floor halfway through his explanation of something new he'd learnt. In fact, Logan would have just carried on talking, ignoring the habit he'd witnessed a million times if Remus didn't fall into a crouch to stare at them instantly.

He sighed as they were held up for him to see. “Please can you just cough them into a tissue like everyone else? There's no need to derail a conversation because your emotions are manifesting again.” Usually Logan would avoid making such remarks about someone else’s home and emotions but few of his other friends would let him explain his current experiments and he’d rather been enjoying the chance.

“But these are New Leaves—Love Leaves, Logan! Why should I hide something you need to see?” Remus protested, still holding them gently but now frowning as he inspected them, likely trying to identify the plant they were from.

“To you love is shown by peppermint leaves? Those were caused by me, or were you thinking of someone else?” Logan asks, tone sharp from how stunned he is by the implications of the words he'd heard.

There's no chance for a reply as Janus stalks into the room, scowling at the sight of Remus on the floor. “So you do know how to clear up your petals? Honestly I could've sworn I was your housekeeper from how often it's your emotions littering our home. No matter how excited you get by these strong emotions, you have to stop spitting them everywhere, Remus!” He went straight into a lecture and Logan had to admit a glance around the room did show plenty of other types of leaves scattered over the surfaces, while he'd never seen a single sign that Janus had even had an emotion manifest as petals or leaves before.

Remus had frozen at the interruption, before pasting on a grin and jumping up.“I think I left my emotion book at Roman's, so I had better be heading over there now. Last week he was threatening to burn it if I forced it into the faces of one of his friends again, and I do not want to go through some of those emotions again, not even to keep my records evidenced!” He cackled, bouncing out of the door instead of responding to anything that had been said to him.

The door slamming behind him finally broke Logan out of the stunned freeze he'd been in, blinking his gaze from the floor to where Janus was now pinching the bridge of his nose. “Do you think he's going to be gone long? Because he'd said something about those leaves I'd rather like to discuss with him,” he asked once Janus met his eyes.

/\/\

Making his escape was all Remus could think to do in that moment. 

Logan had seemed mostly frozen, and that lack of comprehension felt like a rejection the one time he was upfront about his emotions. It was a far more vulnerable version of his usual upfront statements of his thoughts, and it hurt now that he was out of the room. If Janus hadn't come in, he probably would’ve gone around the flat to see if he'd missed any peppermint leaves before, since it definitely wasn't the first time he'd felt love of that strength. It was just the first time he'd registered the leaves were different than the dandelion leaves of lust.

Instead he bounced off, heading to Roman's apartment to crow about learning a new one of his plants and changing his toothpaste on the way. Mint’s iciness could no longer be as interesting as the cinnamon toothpaste he'd heard about, not now love was connected to it.

“Royal Arse! I got new leaves!” he screamed, barging into his brother's flat as soon as the door was open, beaming at Patton's attempt to dodge out of the way.

He wasn't expecting Patton to instantly rush for a blanket and herd him onto the sofa. “Oh Remus, you poor dear! I'm so sorry for whatever has upset you that much! Is there anything I can do to help?” Apparently his brother's flatmate was the only one unaware of how much bullshit made up the stereotypes around emotional plants. Remus didn't really care to disillusion him after the offer of comfort though because yeah, he needed that right now.

Roman blinked when he finally made it out of his room, the music still audible, displaying the fact that he'd been rehearsing something. “Okay, I did hear Remus then, but how on Earth did you activate Patton's Pamper Session of Caring Chaos?”

“The poor thing got more leaves. Let's not ask in case it'll upset him too much.” It wasn't often Remus let someone else speak up before him, but at that moment he was trying not to choke on petals that had decided to form just as he took a drink. Spitting it all out onto his jeans revealed tulip petals, another new one, and this time a painful emotional response for Remus. Same as ever given that, opposing society's views, his good emotions were primarily leaves and negative ones petals.

Neither of the pair had noticed, Roman frowning as he replied to Patton, “That's not how Remus' emotions work.” As he turned, though, he realized why Remus was so willing to go along with it, sympathy growing in his eyes. “Although I don't believe you've mentioned having tulips before either.”

“What can I say, today is a day for the new: Peppermint and tulips. Cinnamon toothpaste is my new favourite thing, and I ain't going through the shit our parents pulled again, so pass that lecture Logan gave them over to Patton if you're planning to say anything to him!” Remus groused, waving his mug at Roman with one hand while the other failed to throw the petals towards the bin. If the hot liquid spilt all over him and the sofa, then all the better was all he would say.

Roman's eyebrow raised in something between concern and surprise at the exclamation, making a decision as he glanced between the pair. “Sounds like you need a movie marathon if not a chance to scream out whatever has happened. Love included or not?” He offered, deciding to drop the idea of explaining how differently Remus’s emotions manifested from the stereotypes to Patton for another day. 

“No way, give me gore, backstabbing, betrayal, and all the juicy stuff.” Remus acting offended at the suggestion of love was all the confirmation needed that it had something to do with his appearance. Roman doubted his brother would actually talk about it at all without some struggle, let alone right away.

Nothing was said about that though as he turned to Patton instead. “You don't like the films Remus finds comforting, Padre. Why don't you go and enjoy that book you mentioned earlier while I take over pampering the Duke?” He suggested with a smile, already moving to the DVD stand as his room-mate disappeared with a genial agreement.

The curious glance Remus shot him made it clear he hadn't quite registered how unlike himself he'd been acting to get this reaction. Roman wasn't going to confirm anything though, not after the fears Remus still hid about someone trying to force him into Petal Therapy Calling it out would only compound on whatever caused Remus to get new petals. He had hoped the friendship Remus had with Logan after their parents attempted that would stop any of the concerns carrying through their lives.

Remus watched Roman cleaning up the petals, muttering into his mug about how open emotions created the densest people, only to be cut off when Roman spoke up again, “So I'm presuming the tulip petals and mint leaves are connected? What plagues the joys of peppermint?”

“Ice tears into a fleshy heart, leaving only blood to flourish where a nice chill could've soothed the flames. Should I weep for pain or choke on the cries for comfort others so willingly claim as positive?” Remus never used the poetic language their parents had favoured, but when upset this much and with his brother it was a habit he couldn't hold back. Poetry had always made heartbreak worse to his mind but it gave brilliant frameworks for metaphors.

It got him a glance and a pause in the rearranging for a moment. “You sure you wouldn't prefer a show with eye candy and fight scenes instead? I'm sure we could find some properly cringey things with attractive guys to stare at.”

“Noooo! I want something with more blood and guts and gore than Joseph's coat after his brothers got at it!” As he whined, Remus caught the glance and smirk on Roman's face.

“That sounds more like Remus at least. I'll put Alien on then.”

Neither of them mentioned the leaves and petals again, despite Remus still coughing up tulips and after a while roses too. There wasn't a need to talk about the evidence of heartbreak and sorrow while trying to distract from it.

/\/\

One of the first things anyone Remus decided to befriend learnt about him was that he had a guide to his emotions and wanted to share it. He'd kept a few of all the leaves and petals that formed in his mouth, dried them and stuck them in with his description of what the main emotion of the time had been. Of course there had been thousands of authors, scientists, and philosophers over the years who had compiled similar books, meant to guide people over the 'normal' emotions plants depicted, but Remus claimed his is much better and more accurate because it's specific to only him.

Janus had to smile when he saw it out in their apartment again. He hadn't read it, exactly like most of their other friends, discomforted by how personal the book must be despite Remus bringing it out within the first week of meeting someone.

“We haven’t seen that book out in a while. Who are you trying to make read it this time?” He had to ask, hoping it was a good conversation starter as it always had been before.

At the moment, it was almost tempting to ask if he could read it. Where Remus would usually be unavoidable—ever trying to make Janus join his adventures and experiments, claiming he had to sometimes since they were flatmates—he'd disappeared over the last week, while Logan had actually been visiting more. There was definitely something up, and hopefully Logan would stay in the kitchen long enough for Janus to ask about it.

“I'm updating it actually. Got so many new leaves to add to it now! Almost enough to make my next sculpture. Would Glasses Lecture have an accurate diagram of a heart?” Remus answered, bouncing a little and half turning to look for his phone before stopping. “Wait! Googly googly eyes! the internet has that shit! Don't ask, I've sorted it!” Remus’s exclamation had already launched into a muttered ramble of his idea. 

Janus had expected something of a sculpture to happen when he had complained about the leaves being left around, but the muttering was new. Normally the ideas needed to be yelled about so everyone could act disgusted by them.

It all felt like a distraction Remus choreographed just for him almost. “Speaking of hearts, Logan said you'd mentioned something about love before your little disappearing act. That wouldn't have anything to do with why I've had the apartment to myself, would it?”

“Logan and me?!” Remus couldn't have exclaimed that any louder. “Please! He wishes this ass was his to take apart in whatever way science says is the best. Kinda sounds like a fun time, but I'm bugging Roman. Got a costuming gig for his next play and found another three-month contract destroying people’s gardens too. Wonder if I'll get told to leave poisons for people again.” Remus was cackling, hurrying away as though he was a whirlwind running out of wind. Whatever commitments had now manifested did not disguise the avoidance motivating them.

Before he could get out the door, Janus spoke up again, “Do remember the movie night we've been planning for Saturday. As much as I'll enjoy the peace while you're working, I would loathe to miss your commentary of the movies.”

He half-expected to be called out that such plans didn't exist, but Remus was already wanting to leave and Logan surely couldn't be taking so long to make their drinks. If Janus couldn't get answers now, he would definitely make sure to manage it on Saturday.

“Course I will, but now I've got to let Virgie scream at me for a bit! I'll tell him you said hi!” With that, Remus had bounced out the door, letting it slam behind him.

Logan still took a few more minutes to emerge from the kitchen carrying their mugs. “Remus does costuming?” he queried, his voice carefully neutral. He’d been visiting their apartment daily hoping to discuss the mention of love with Remus since the day it happened.

“Only when he's trying to spend more time with Roman. Last time he did this was when they started trying to get along after all those teenage arguments.” Janus sighed, unfortunately certain the cause wasn't so simple this time. The doubt was strong enough he had to shrug his hat into falling so it wasn't obvious as he spat out the oak leaves forming. His room-mate and best friend avoiding him was a sorrowful thing to realize.

“And apparently now when he doesn’t want to be here. I only go to the theatre to watch performances and remain front of house networking generally. You avoid the theatre and its professional make-believe unless Roman forces everyone to go, and even then leave soon after a performance ends, also staying front of house.” Janus began musing, comparing where in the theatre they’d generally visit. Staying in the entrance, bar and seats was only something he and Logan ever did.

 “If Remus is costuming, then he'll be out a lot in the lead-up to performances and then his work is all back-stage, so there's very little chance he'll run into either of us there.” He carried on explaining as he thought, knowing Logan would need to help if they were to get Remus actually talking to them again, and somehow they would manage that.

/\/\

“You haven’t argued with Roman lately. What's actually going on?” Virgil's question came as soon as Remus opened the door, disappointing him. He'd worked hard to make the designs as contrasting and ugly as possible in order to get screamed at for nothing. Where was the lecture he wanted?

“Tulips are flowers of heartbreak, Boogeyman. Can I cover the ball gown in them for symbolism's sake? It would look brilliant, all poofy with flowers! We could even ask Roman to include stage directions for the girl to cough, suggesting it's her own petals that make the dress.” Well if you can't avoid the question, answer it with barely connected ideas. Remus thought that should at least distract from anything more being asked.

Virgil's head-shake looked automatic. “That would be some spectacle, especially since she is one of those mythological noble fae, but this is a play where no flowers or leaves betray emotions. Also, I doubt many other people have negative connections to tulips. Do we want to say they're for heartbreak when eighty percent of the audience, if not more, think otherwise?”

“Bro-Ro says the ball is where her heart actually gets broken and whatever the context of the story people will assume the flower accessories mean something. Let's do it and see what assumptions the audience makes!” Remus cheered. The best way to disturb people was to always be vague and make them do the rest, especially with double meanings.

“Fine then. I get to tear everything else to pieces, cause what the hell are you thinking with this garbage?!” Virgil went into scolding finally, ready to argue over all of Remus' designs for the afternoon.

/\/\

It didn't take a genius to realise that Remus was avoiding Logan and any chance of talking about the mention of love he'd made, so he had decided to leave dealing with it for a while. A week of work already had reduced notes from the time Logan focused on understanding what happened that evening. It was beyond his knowledge how to react or feel about it at all, beyond the observation that seeing so little of Remus vastly reduced the value he had in his life.

Even the time getting assistance from Janus had proven fruitless except for an invitation to the movie night that had suddenly been arranged. A week of lunches in more formal cafes with Janus while discussing or scheming to get answers provided very little insight into it. 

Hopefully they would be able to get more answers on Saturday, but for now he had experiments to check on and research papers to edit.

Returning to having lunch in the cafeteria with Patton was a welcome change, and shocking as it brought the revelation that Patton had somehow become one of the people Remus spent a lot of time around. It had been commented on as soon as Logan queried how Patton had been recently and was followed with the explanation he was still listening to.

“I mean Remus really isn't as bad as I had thought. He's a bit disturbing occasionally but definitely seems to be a sweetheart underneath it all,” Patton finished, smiling as he pulled his sandwiches out to start eating.

“He is someone you need to get used to, but I'd never let him anywhere near our labs. Have you heard Roman's stories of their science classes? Thankfully I was in a set above them and never had to endure it in person, but Remus definitely caused a couple of school evacuations.” Logan raised an eyebrow at the description. Sweet and someone who can cause experiments to go that dangerously in a school did not meld together in his mind very well.

That was rather the pattern for his thoughts about Remus. Since they were younger he’d seen the other terrified of what Petal Therapy would do to him, to bouncing in one spot because he’d spotted a snail crossing the path. Small and large things all seemed to bring out heightened emotions in Remus that even Patton and Roman rarely matched and it rather fascinated Logan to witness and help with.

Of course Patton just waved off the remark. “Well that's why he doesn't work with us. And he seems so happy at the moment, always coughing up tulip petals,” he said, not noticing when Logan's expression must have flooded with concern.

He'd known the twins when they all reached the age that leaves and petals would manifest for their emotions, and had witnessed the chaos that came with it. Logan had been the primary reason Remus was never forced to the petal therapy camps when his parents realized that all the leaves he coughed up truly were for positive emotions. He was still trying to get enough support to start a campaign against those camps after all the research he had done on them, actually.

Hearing Patton mention flower petals was anything but the positive report his friend seemed to believe it to be. He had to school his face back into a neutral expression before speaking again. “Far be it from me to disagree, but has Remus actually said what his emotions are to you?” Logan queried carefully, hoping to avoid the emotive displays of worry and concern that Patton was prone to. “Usually it is leaves that present his positive feelings.”

“Well Roman said something like that too, but all Remus really said was asking for me to be handed some lecture and that he's changed to cinnamon toothpaste. That was when he barged in yelling about getting new leaves, and he seemed to connect the toothpaste to it somehow,” Patton explained after a moment's thought before shaking his head. “But that's probably just him throwing in something random about his day, right?”

“I'd expect so. I'll see if I can copy the folder I have relating to the emotional plants for you later,” Logan offered easily, mentally noting the information. “There were some issues when his parents realized how his emotions manifested, which I helped with. By the way, you've been researching the rumours there were about people growing plants from the leaves they've had manifest from emotions. Has there been any evidence to suggest that can happen?” he diverted the conversation, already finding there were too many things to think over from what little Patton had said.

/\/\

Remus was likely to be sat drawing patterns and sewing with Virgil for most of the night when Roman messaged Logan and Janus asking to meet up for a bit. He'd happily allowed his brother the role in costuming when he mentioned it, agreeing that having space from the situation could help, especially with Remus' heart potentially being on the line.

That wasn't going to stop him actually trying to get the most clueless people he knew regarding their own emotions to actually think on the subject.

“Roman, how wonderful to see you again. Your request to come over was as charming as ever. How might Logan and I assist you?” Janus' voice dripped in flattery as he opened the door, already moving aside to let him in.

“So many things, and I'm sure you'll only answer me over a few of them. How have you two been recently? In all the chaos that is the run-up to opening night I haven’t had much time to see either of you.” Roman was cheerful, waving to Logan upon seeing him already sitting in the living room.

Logan just shrugged in response. “Life carries on, as is typical. We've got some fascinating research projects in full sway at the labs, but I'm not sure they'd interest you.”

“We are currently trying to solve the case of the missing room-mate however. Would you happen to know where Remus has run off to recently?” Janus avoided answering the question with one of his own as he always seemed to manage to do. “Or could that be the real reason you're here?”

Roman raised an eyebrow at the words, half tempted to challenge what was being implied given there could be a variety of meanings to the words. “Well so far as he's mentioned from Monday to Thursday, he's been working on a neighbourhood improvement team, and I've asked him to step in and help with some costumes Virgil couldn't get quite right.”

“It must have been quite late in the production for you to be preparing for opening night while Remus has only recently started helping on costumes,” Logan observed, raising an eyebrow.

“Virgil wants to have a strong idea of how all of the actors are portraying their characters before finalizing any outfits, so he tends to finalize designs and make them over the three weeks before the show starts. By contrast, Remus doesn't care how an actor wants to portray anything, just works from the script and momentary inspiration.” 

Roman shrugged off the silent query, making himself comfy on the sofa. “Which reminds me, do either of you know when tulips related to heartbreak? They've had me ordering fake petals by the boatload for one of the dresses, and that's all the reason I've got for it.”

The stunned and hurt expressions over Janus and Logan's faces answered everything without words, but, after a second of silence, Logan was coughing into a tissue. “Patton mentioned them also, but I've never heard Remus say anything about even having tulips form from any emotion,” Logan said in an attempt to side-step the subject that was clearly now coming, already throwing the tissue into the corner bin.

“The last emotion Remus discovered to my knowledge was his peppermint leaves, although I have no clue how he was only seeing them the last time Logan was talking to him. Those leaves have littered this apartment for months, and trust me, I'm nowhere near feeling proud as consistently as peppermint leaves appear, even if I were to mimic his way of dealing with the leaves and petals,” Janus explained, rolling his eyes at how blatantly Roman was cataloguing their reactions. He wondered what would be said if or when Remus learnt one of their plants was the same despite being for different emotions.

Trying to keep some distance from Roman’s gaze was why he then headed to the kitchen. “If you're planning on visiting for some time, might I tempt you with a drink? Rose wine perhaps?”

“Just some water, please. I drove here,” Roman replies, leaning back in his seat.

He knew Logan was watching and thinking through the things they'd said so far. There was a sharp but distant edge to the gaze that only happened when something met a focus Logan had. Roman was more than comfortable to let the nerd dissect everything, especially given he was far more open with his attempts at resolutions compared to Janus. Instead he just listened to the clinking of glasses and took in a new painting added since he'd last visited. It was definitely one of Remus' creations.

“How would you suggest we apologize to Remus, or at least stop him from avoiding us to this extent?” Logan eventually asked.

“Is that what you actually mean to ask?” Roman countered. He'd seen the looks the last time their friend group had all been able to get together, and he wasn't about to give advice only for his brother to get hurt again.

Before Logan could start trying to insist it was, a wine glass of water was being held out as Janus appeared back in the room. “You could just tell us why you're here, Roman. There's no need to dance around the subject and hope we'll bring it up for you,” Janus insisted, clearly having gathered his masks up while getting the drinks.

It seemed unfair to have only Logan being open over his intentions now, but Roman could see neither of them recognized their own emotions yet. “Well I actually did just want to hear from you what has actually happened to upset my brother so much.”

“He said something I didn't know how to react to. Janus came in to complain about the leaves everywhere and then Remus decided to head to yours.” The brief description was more blunt and emotionless than Roman had ever heard anyone describe something before meeting Logan. “I'd rather like to discuss what he said with him directly, rather than via you.”

“I'm just wondering why my room-mate has decided this is only a place to sleep when I thought we got along well together most of the time.” Janus didn't add anything further to the recollection of what happened. Roman was fairly convinced neither man in front of him would discuss their emotions easily and that could be a battle for someone else to face.

Sighing, he finished off his glass of water. “Wonderfully enlightening descriptions, fellas. Absolutely a delight. Perhaps if you're going to try discussing this with Remus, you can reflect on your emotions and how the plants present them. I mean, Logan, do you even know what flowers or leaves appear when you so promptly throw those tissues away?”

With those words, he stood, deciding not to muddy their thoughts with farewells, “Perhaps you can reflect on that for a while. I'll leave you be for the evening now.” 

/\/\

“Hey Logan, do you mind me asking a few things about that folder you sent me yesterday, or would you rather leave it till we're outside of work?” Patton called as he approached their usual table for lunch.

Logan had already finished eating since their breaks had ended up being 15 minutes different in start time that day. He'd actually been tracking his mind for any flavours he could remember connecting to the emotions he'd had to spit out over the years and now welcomed the break, easily waving to the seat across from him.

“You know I welcome all questions to the development of knowledge at any time, Patton. Please ask away.” The invitation wasn't really needed, since it was rare either of them wouldn't join the other if they were both having lunch in the break room. It was still more professional to use manners though

Patton had already sat down and started unpacking his own lunch before replying. “Well really I'm just very curious because it seems like something you were extremely passionate about, but I haven’t heard you mention anything about the atrocities of those petal therapies before now. Does that mean somebody has managed to get them banned already?”

His lips pursed at the thought. “I wish that were the case, but there needs to be solid scientific evidence of not only the harm that they do, but also that the procedures are redundant. While here we study various subjects around the formation and properties of the leaves and petals that form, I've been able to make progress on the latter. You'll notice most of the studies I lead are long-term ones over how changes occur to the plants people form over different emotions which actually has proven beyond doubt that negative or traumatic events, such as those therapies are, only produce an increase in leaves portraying a person's emotions, positive or negative.”

“So what's being studied about the harm they do?” The question was predictable, but one Logan despaired to hear.

For a moment, he just shrugged before meeting Patton's eyes. “Unfortunately that is a subject entirely based in psychology and I'm not knowledgeable enough to conduct those studies on my own. As of yet I've been unable to meet a psychologist willing to do studies that would likely be widely contested by society.”

Something in Logan wanted to change the subject of conversation quickly, knowing if his remorse over being unable to make progress against petal therapies grew, he would be coughing up something. He was more resolute in that moment to properly discuss Patton's queries, however in depth the clock ticking to the end of his break would allow. Besides, that would at least confirm for certain one of his plants.

Patton, however, was pulling out his phone and scribbling a number from it onto a napkin he hadn't needed. “I know a psychologist from college who would be able to help you with that! Doctor Emile Picani would definitely be willing to at the very least help you find someone if they can't do the study themselves. Give them a call and ask,” he insisted, pushing the napkin into Logan's hand.

The chance of coughing up flowers of remorse was suddenly swapped by a flood of relief that Logan had to rapidly pull out a clean tissue to react to, glancing at the new number. “Thank you, Patton. I will have to do that later though, since my lunch break is now over.” He hurried the words out, already standing to leave and trying to hide the fact he was still holding both the napkin and the tissue of either petals or leaves.

Only once he was back in his lab did Logan open the tissue, smiling as he recognised peppermint leaves. Apparently there was something he shared with Remus and Janus, even if the leaves presented three completely different feelings.

Now he just needed to talk to someone he could trust with his emotions and who wouldn’t make a big deal about them. For the first time in his life, he wanted to learn about his emotions. 

/\/\

Logan struggled to remain still and not shift from foot to foot as Thomas blinked through his doorway. “Okay, when you said you needed some help I was actually expecting to be invited to the labs to assist one of your studies. Guessing this is a bit more personal than that now.”

After leaving Patton at lunchtime, Logan had decided that asking his brother for some help would at least guarantee he could trust there'd be no judgement. That had been when he'd called Thomas, only getting an agreement to help before hanging up and completely forgetting to clarify when he'd come over.

If the situation had been different, less personal even, Logan probably would have spoken with Remus about it. Over the years they’d both sought each other out about various plants or animals they wanted to learn about and what were the emotional plants other than that. Only Janus could match Remus for being patient or involved in the subject Logan loved to talk about really. Even Patton often wanted to leave the science at the lab.

“I have no clue what leaves or flowers any of my emotions make and could really use some advice in all those...feelings-type things,” he stated, waving towards the door in the hopes he could stop having the discussion while stood on the street.

Thomas was immediately backing away, holding the door open and looking more concerned than before. “Okay let's actually start with why you need to figure emotions out after years of declaring that science and discovery are the true loves of your life. Has something happened with your friends? I thought they all accepted you are incredibly private with your emotions.” As he spoke, he ushered Logan through to his kitchen, already making coffee and getting some jam sandwiches made.

“Remus is avoiding me—avoiding Janus too, actually, and Roman said we should look at our own emotions before trying to discuss why with Remus directly,” Logan summarized, reaching to take the mug he usually used only for Thomas to push it away.

With a raised eyebrow and pursed lips, Thomas met his eyes. Logan knew that if he were more like either of the twins, this would be the start of a play-fight, but currently he just felt like a pinned butterfly while his brother silently demanded more details.

He shuffled back a few steps.“Remus said some leaves he spat out meant love when it was just me and him, but Janus interrupted before I could do more than try to work out if that meant he loves me. Now he's barely even going back to their flat, and I haven't seen him or heard from him since. I don't want to lose my friend, Thomas! If I need to examine my emotions to get Remus back, then I need help to do that!” Logan had tried to keep his voice steady, but as he finally let himself describe properly the scene that had occurred, his hurt and confusion over what was happening raised his voice louder.

A sandwich being put in his hand and a mildly teasing smile at least said Thomas would help now. With a sigh, Thomas began speaking. “So what we actually need to work through is what emotions you are currently feeling, as well as if you have any specific feelings towards any of your friends. A love confession is a very vulnerable thing to do, and from what you've said of Remus before, he's not going to avoid it forever.”

“How do we do that?” Logan muttered, finally being allowed to take his coffee.

Leading them back into his living room, Thomas glanced over his shelves for a moment. “The most reasonable way I can think of is bullet points or spider maps. If you can't identify an emotion, then you can provide an accurate description and I'll do my best to identify it.” He decided, pulling out an A3 paper pad from behind the couch.

“And you're sure we need to do this for all my friends, as well as the current situation?” Logan frowned at the amount of time and paper that sounded like it would take up.

“Nope, the thing with emotions is that you're likely to realize who we'll need to focus on as we work through the emotions of the current situation. Shall we begin?” Thomas grinned, holding out some thick pens and putting a heading on the first of 'Remus' Avoidance'. The page looked similar to one Janus had made when they'd been trying to figure out what was happening logically, but somehow Logan could believe this might help a little more.

/\/\

“Menial Labour! My brother has made a servant of me, never to grace the heights of society again!” Roman was bemoaning, languishing back against the foot of the sofa as Remus and Virgil snickered at him.

They'd insisted his help was needed sewing petals onto the dress given the size of the skirt and fast approaching performances. Even with the amended design of having triangles of petals around the skirt there was too much for the pair to finish in time, so Roman had grabbed a needle and thread to join in.

Virgil snorted when he tried to drape a hand over his head only to realize the action brought his needle a little too close to his eyes. “Sure, Cinderella. Where's your fireplace to sleep in?”

“Praise that I have not yet been reduced to such poverty. Although the last time I saw Remus’ apartment, there was no fireplace in it. Do you and Janus have fireplaces in your bedrooms?” Roman grinned, letting the joke move into random chatter as he grabbed another handful of petals to sew.

Remus cackled again. “Closest we've got is Jay's heat lamp, and I'm pretty sure he'd fight you if ever you tried to sleep under it. When'd you last visit anyway? I always go to yours or the theatre.”

“A day or so ago. I wanted to discuss a few things with Janus and Logan, and Logan was already at your flat when I messaged, so I joined them there.” Roman tried to appear offhand with the comment, already anticipating the scowl that was directed at him.

“I told you not to interfere with this, Cinders,” Remus ground out, visibly grinding his teeth together.

Roman nodded jovially. “Yep, and Janus told me you've been spitting peppermint leaves out for months before you noticed them. It's interesting how many things I'm learning just trying to understand why my brother no longer wants to be in the flat he boasted about for ages.”

“Given that factoid just makes Jasmine sound like even more of an oblivious shouty fool, and now I wanna make him choke on peppermint...somehow. Unexpected leaves in pastries, unfiltered loose leaf tea: There's gotta be a way to achieve it, and he would get the fear without any chance of death.” Remus stabbed through the petals he was focusing on, scowl turning into a deadly dark expression. For the petals to have been around the apartment for a while that meant his lust for Janus wasn’t just that and given how observant his room-mate claimed to be Remus would have thought something else would be brought up.

Instead of mentioning it though he just carried on trying to make the petals attached by stabbing them harder. “I mean, perhaps you were right about using fakes. They'd tear easily, but right now I wish I could be destroying something.”

Virgil stole the needle from Remus' hands. “No destroying allowed, but you'd have more success actually attaching the petals if this needle was threaded,” he ordered, promptly threading the needle to hand it back. “Besides, Janus has always been oblivious. He focuses so much on manipulating people by flirting so they not only do what he wants but like him for it, that genuine feelings go completely over his head.”

“Also, I'm not sure you've been rejected, Re. It's more likely neither of them understand love enough to actually know whether they're feeling it or not, especially over romantic love.” Roman sighed, leaning closer to the fabric and the petals to make his stitches perfect and completely missing the torn gaze glancing over at him.

“Whatever. Oblivious freezing is still just as painful to face as all that anger Janus has over my leaves. I tell everyone from the start, my emotions are an open book. Ask me your questions and I'll tell you no lies,” Remus huffed, starting another section that needed petals adding. At least sewing or sculpting with petals was simple since the actual use everyone claimed they had in demonstrating emotions never seemed to work, even when he tried to talk about what they meant.

Virgil yelped as that move meant the section he had was suddenly tugged away for a moment, dropping and losing the needle. “When on earth did you start hiding from something like this though? I swear the Remus I met would scream about it until he got some response he could at least make innuendos out of to make everyone just as uncomfortable as he is with the feelings.”

“I'm working on it...and a functional heart model that can be taken apart to describe precisely how bad they've made me feel. Probably going to do that demonstration on the street outside our flat the day after this play closes. Announce it for everyone to hear. Post a video online or something.” Remus nodded. “But getting away and letting them play detective gives me time to actually get that model made.”

“Or for them to hopefully get their heads out of their asses,” Virgil suggested, bringing Roman's idea that there could be a relationship there back.

Remus just shook his head, focusing on sewing and starting to sing a parody of Taylor Swift loud enough that they couldn't carry on the conversation.

/\/\

When Roman had told them to reflect on their own emotions and motivations, Janus had scoffed. It seemed like an absurd idea that wouldn't really help at all. He knew himself better than anyone else even could, so of course he knew what all his flowers meant. Perhaps he wasn't as obsessive over the artefacts as Remus was, but he knew them well enough to write a list of all the known emotions that produced plants and what plants each produced.

The only thing actually motivating Janus to even muse over the subject was that Logan had clearly taken the suggestion to heart. Given how regularly he'd come over since Remus' declaration, it was easy to assume that sooner or later Logan would be returning, wishing to discuss whatever conclusions over his own emotions he came to.

So Janus had brought out his journal and decided to simply write through a guide over which plants related to various emotions, starting of course with Peppermint. Pride was clearly defined and had never been mistaken for anything else in all of Janus' life. It was simple to write about, even including the notes over how the same plant formed love for Remus and a few speculations over what on earth could have been occurring for there to be so much around their flat. Those thoughts left him feeling positively uncomfortable, either Logan had visited more regularly prior to this situation than known or Remus just associated love with being at home somehow.

He pushed the thoughts away, deciding to focus on a related emotion of lust as the next one. That was where Janus really started questioning everything he had been so certain of before. There were two plants coming to mind as being for lust and each had occurred and been labelled such intermittently with the other. One of them had to be for a different emotion except Janus had no understanding over how he'd even make such a mistake.

Tracking the memories around those flowers at least clarified which emotions the two plants would represent, although it did little to confirm which way round they settled. Understanding that was when he really began to accept Roman's advice as valid.

He had a lot of emotions to consider closely now, and only a few that he was certain would remain as blank as the plants currently were.

/\/\

“So what time is our movie night, again? We're doing a full costume rehearsal this afternoon so if you want me back early say now.” Remus called through the house. He'd been hurrying between rooms a lot through the morning and Janus could tell that was still happening by how his volume changed.

He didn't reply though, to focused on his pages about his emotions and corresponding plants to make a decision over a lie he'd planned to make true.

Remus shoving his head on top of the book demanded a response though. “Home early or can I do my job sewing people into inescapable costumes right?”

“Can we just cancel the film night? You seem so busy with this show and far be it from me to interfere in Roman's job.” Janus requested, shoving him to the floor as an afterthought.

“Always got time for you, Scales. Just say the word and anyone who harms you will be bleeding out on the streets.” Remus didn't react to being on the floor past wrapping himself around Janus's legs, clinging tightly. “Just say the word and I'll be back here, but sure thing. Just tell Lo you're cancelling it.”

It was mildly surprising that Remus knew anyone else was invited let alone who, but Janus decided to focus on putting his notebook away and finding something else to focus on for a while. “Of course I will.”

The whirlwind that was Remus preparing for a costume rehearsal soon disappeared with about 10 bags more than he could reasonably need.

Deciding not to delay any longer Janus already had his phone out, calling Logan as soon as the door was shut for the third time.

“Hello Janus, How can I be of assistance?” Ever the professional greeting made Janus smile slightly.

“I've decided to cancel the movie night that we were going to have this evening.” He stated, only the necessary information and nothing more in the hopes it would prevent further questioning. “We're going to reschedule it for next weekend instead.”

There was a pause where he could hear shuffling papers on the other end of the call before Logan cleared his throat. “Of course. I was hoping you would as I find I'm not as composed as I should be if we're talking with Remus over what happened.”

“All that happened was I interrupted a private moment between you which I must apologise to you as well as to Remus for doing.” Janus felt like the words were stabbing him over how simplistic it made the last weeks seem, but kept his voice as smooth and steady as it would remain presenting to a lecture hall.

“We both have things to apologise to Remus over but I can't imagine you intended to interrupt anything, so any misstep there was towards myself is more than forgiven. Perhaps we could make our apologies to Remus during the interval of Roman's play so that the movie night can be as relaxing as Patton insists that they are?” Logan sounded tentative, uncertain both of the plan, but really Janus chuckled humourlessly at it.

“That's probably a good idea. If you'd prefer to just spend some time with Remus, please do let me know.” From all his own reflection, Janus knew just how uncomfortable he'd feel intruding on what could only be a return declaration of love and quite wanted to avoid it. He couldn't fathom why Logan was suggesting they apologise simultaneously.

“I will if necessary but I doubt it will be. Shall I book tickets for us then and message you the performance I manage to get?” Logan asked, at least sounding like the call would be over soon.

Janus sighed. He wasn't one to deny a trip to the theatre but he'd prefer not to have an emotional conversation backstage where very little would really be private. “Of course. I shall see you then.”

“See you at the theatre, Janus.” Logan signed off, leaving even more thoughts and concerns spiralling through his mind. Since he'd deciphered the plants for lust and love there seemed to be a lot more resting on their talk with Remus with no suggestion that it would be good for him.

He would at least be content in seeing his best friend and their most frequent visitor happy.

/\/\

Despite what Janus believed about the pair of them always remaining front of house when in the theatre, no friend of Roman's could really avoid visiting backstage at least occasionally. Both he and Logan were known to most of the people that worked there. It made it easier for them to slip through the door and get quick directions to where Remus was sorting out the costumes that had been finished with for the performance and getting out the ones he'd need ready for the quick changes.

Finding the area was easy, almost signposted by the tulip petal ball gown.“You must have been sewing tulip petals the entirety of the last week.” Janus observed, stroking a hand down it as Remus jumped at his voice.

“I must admit the outfit was fascinating to watch, especially considering the time which the actress had to put it on. One would think that an outfit like that would be more complex for barely a minute would allow her to wear it.” Logan agreed, although he was actually watching Remus when he turned to face them.

They hadn't intended to make any small talk, well aware that delaying the intervals arrangements could cause issues for the show. It was still easier to begin every conversation with an observation related to the moment before raising more difficult subjects.

Remus blinked one eye at a time, turning between them, before bustling over. “Plenty of sewing and it's still needed so hands off if you will, or I'll direct Valerie to you if there's an issue with it. Seeing someone else tear you down would be hilarious.”

“Well if we delay apologising for too long I'm sure Roman will oblige you in doing so.” Janus sighed, easily moving away. “That said however, I do want to say sorry. I didn't pause before interrupting you a few weeks ago and as much as finding your leaves around the place can annoy me I'd rather deal with them and have you around than the silence of the flat recently.”

The words had Remus throwing the costume he'd just pulled out of its protective case onto a chair, staring unblinking at Janus. “Dude, we interrupt each other constantly. Unless you want me to carry around a sign to say 'Emotional Moment Happening' I've no clue how we'd avoid that. Just count it as getting even for the last time I walked in on you showering to ramble about an idea I needed help with.” He decided after a moment, grabbing another outfit to put away.

Logan cleared his throat then. “I still need to apologise to you as well, Remus.” He said, moving forwards to try and be in Remus's line of sight. That wouldn't work when he was clearly focused on rooting through the costume rack and not turning around again.

“Your words the last time we spoke caught me completely unexpectedly and it appears that my lack of reaction has hurt you considerably. I'm not well informed about emotions despite my realm of study being connected to them. I still consider myself a beginner in the stronger feelings, so I apologise for any hurt that I caused, and hope that you don't mind waiting a little longer for a true response to the sentiments you imparted to me. I do intend to explain more of my own emotions but currently I am learning to understand them myself. Once I have a better grasp of them perhaps we can discuss a little more.” As he spoke Logan shifted from side to side, uncomfortable with how personal it felt despite the planning he’d done for his apology.

Sometime while he spoke, Remus had turned, not enough for them to meet eyes but to watch Logan from the corner of his. There were clearly some mental guards up but he was listening.

Remus let the words settle after Logan finished, before beginning to ramble, “Oh sure, no bad blood running between us at all, Logie-kins! Actually what is bad blood? Is that like a real thing? Scientists should call blood carrying diseases bad blood. Naughty blood goes in the Petri-dish for time out.”

“I'm glad to hear that Remus and hope that once your show is over we can enjoy the movie night together.” Logan nodded, deciding that there wasn't time for any scientific commentary to be added about blood.

“Remus, these are not the outfits you need for the quick changes. Hurry up and get the right ones out.” Roman had come around checking backstage was ready as the 5 minute call came over the intercom. “And you 2, back to your seats. Hurry, hurry, time and tide wait for no man and this stage is about to have high tide.”

Janus and Logan let themselves be shepherded back to front of house, feeling calmer now their apologies were done. Anything more they wanted to say could wait a while now, and hopefully wouldn't require tracking down Remus to someone else's usual hang outs.

/\/\

Logan was nervous as he headed to Janus and Remus's apartment. He'd spent most of his evenings before and after the one trip to see Roman's show with Thomas working through his emotions surrounding both inhabitants as well as towards the situation. Now it was only reasonable that he tried to discuss them directly with the pair but he was unclear how that would be received, especially by Janus.

By the time he was knocking on the door he'd decided that it could wait until they were eating, probably after the first film had ended. That way he'd be more relaxed and comfortable about saying anything, as well as having at least had some fun for the evening should he get rejected now.

“Hey Lo, come on in. Remus had to run back to the theatre, something about leaving a project there last night but he'll be back soon.” Janus greeted as he opened the door, the greeting now familiar.

“That's fine. Do you need me to help set up at all?” Logan nodded, removing his shoes and coat so they could be left near the door.

There were more blankets and cushions in the living room than there were usually and a few bowls of snacks had already been placed on the coffee table, primarily popcorn. Logan had a few healthier snack foods in his bag that he started getting out to add to the collection. Hopefully they would get eaten too since everyone needed more vitamins and fibre even on junk food nights.

Janus just shook his head. “Everything's ready for when we're all here. Just make yourself comfy and we'll decide what to watch first. House rules say whomever is here first gets first choice of film.”

“So can we start with 'Hitch-hikers Guide to the Galaxy'?” Logan really hoped they'd like science fiction or at least watch it with him.

They fell into discussing the various films they could watch after realising that Hitch-hikers wasn't available from their streaming service. It was enough to have them both more relaxed up until the door seemingly threw itself open, soon followed by a green, yellow and pink blur heading towards Janus's head.

“I've got things to say and there's no film happening until I've said them, so you morons better have brought your listening ears with you.” Remus screeched, following the blur as Logan managed to catch it just before impact. His lunge and angry point was entirely missed by Janus blinking at the sculpture an inch from his nose although Logan was definitely turning from the shape he couldn't recognise from the angle of his catch and the man in the doorway.

It took a moment before either of the pair on the sofa moved again, Janus bringing his hands up to the model, finding the attached stand to put it the right way up on his lap. “And saying your piece involves throwing a scientific model of a heart at my face? I'm not sure how well talking to somebody unconscious works unless you want silent agreement or perhaps privacy with Logan.” He commented, placing the model down and beginning to stand.

“You're involved too, Loki, so sit that butt right back down. Leaves and Petals would need to be a lot faster than I threw that to knock you out.” Remus didn't give him the choice to do much else, already shoving his shoulder down while picking up his heart model. “Actually, I'm starting with a question, Jormungandr, just how long have I been leaving mint leaves about? Roman said you've mentioned it being long before last month.”

Janus glanced over to Logan for a moment, meeting eyes and trying to figure out if the other had any clue what was happening and shaking their heads at each other. With that conclusion made Janus turned his mind back over months of attempting to keep the flat halfway clean. “Probably the first time I recognised mint as an noticeable part of what you left behind was February or March so 7 or 8 months ago I suppose. Is that important to this evening's lecture?”

“I'm sure Professor X would prefer I call this a demonstration. Well, Halo, are you ready for my talk to begin?” Remus had pulled the coffee table a little further back to place his model on top of and was now waiting for Logan to actually join in the conversation since he'd yet to speak up since catching it.

“By all means, please begin. But can I just ask, is this made from your emotions? I recognise the peppermint and tulips as plants I've heard mentioned around you recently.” Logan was leaning forwards, trying to identify what leaves or flowers were in the model. He couldn't be certain if the other leaves were dandelion or one of the smaller types of lettuce without a closer look and was equally torn between saying the yellow petals were from a sunflower or a chrysanthemum.

Remus nodded his head wildly enough he stood a chance of getting whiplash. “Yup, let's get down to the root of my emotions shall we? Starting with the last two weeks that have been pure loneliness despite how constantly I've been with Virgil, Roman or Patton. Honestly I'm beginning to wish we could cough up seeds with how many sunflower petals I've been seeing. At least then I could have a snack each time I just wanted to come and yell until the loneliness is gone.

“Did you enjoy the break from having to clean up my leaves while I was gone, Eragon? Cause Roman is claiming that you must be a saint to put up with it. Congrats on getting canonised.” Remus was poking at the yellow patches as he spoke. “That was why I kept away. If it's so distasteful to you to deal with my good days, it only seemed reasonable while going through crap to avoid you.”

Janus frowned at that explanation. It made sense but also didn't seem similar to the past reactions that complaint had received at all. “I've seen you go through plenty of bad days and the most my complaints have ever caused is a model to be made, such as the one you're poking.” He remarked.

Somehow when Remus threw his hands up in a dramatic gesture he'd managed to get a ruler from somewhere which he then started using to point out the dandelion leaves. “Of course not, because of the emotion that's long been an old friend of mine. I've known I'm in lust with you for years, Logan for months as well. Dandelion leaves are easily one of my favourite things to taste. Hot guys that would just as soon tear someone to pieces as hear them state lies as facts, what more could a gremlin want to lust after? In fact it's essentially the veins of me at this point, carrying through all the other emotions that make me up.”

Indeed the model had the veins beginning made out of dandelion leaves, and they seemed to hold the structure of the heart with the petals woven between the pieces.

Logan leant forwards, opening his mouth to say something but was silenced with a finger to his lips before any noise could be made. Remus clearly wanted his demonstration to only include audience participation when he invited it. “Not so fast, Professor Peacock, I've got two more emotions to go into lots of explanations about before you get to say your piece. Yours was said backstage at the show.”

Remus turned his back to them for a moment, poking at the tulip petals curiously despite being the one to make the model. He started walking around it as he spoke again, still not looking back at either of them,“I thought going in order of their appearance would be the best way but screw it, you were pretty vulnerable before Ro-ro chased you out so let's cover the tulips and that fantastic dress. Did you get Virgil's uses for it? He thought just having a dress like that for the ball was too much work for too little so it got a second half scene. First appearance getting her heart broken and the second picking it up off the floor to love herself regardless. Lovely bit of symbolism given how much Python wants me to be picking myself up off the floor constantly, right?

“I just wanted to put my heartbreak into something pretty and before either of you suggest I'm over dramatic, silence and freezing like that felt like this” Remus stabbed his ruler straight through the middle of the heart, glaring over the top of it at them. “There's a difference between letting people know the things which show my emotions and actually telling you what I'm really feeling and between the pair of you that evening?” Remus dragged the ruler down, shredding away all the petals and leaves holding the model together showing a lot more tulip petals filling most of the heart.

“Roman was confused when I got to his. I'd yelled about getting new leaves but was easily accepting Patton's need to comfort. Then he saw the tulips and sure, another new plant for both of us but something so clearly negative for me didn't need an explanation immediately.”

Remus took a deep breath then, meeting Logan's eyes and then Janus's taking in the apologetic and almost horrified expressions his description and actions had caused. “I know. Neither of you intended harm. We're all just solo ships trying to figure out the oceans without capsizing or causing damage to others and I've already forgiven you for all of that. It's a bit of heartbreak and I can't say I was acting much like myself in running away rather than facing it head on. That's what this is all for, facing the people closest to me, and my own emotions getting laid out on the table so the petals can fall where they will.”

“Tulips are for heartbreak?” Logan's voice was hesitant, hushed as though he didn't want to interrupt but couldn't keep the words in.

Remus just nodded, “Such a pretty colour for something so harsh. I always thought it would be something garishly bright. Fluorescent or something.” He agreed, grabbing a handful that had spilt from the model to examine it before dumping them in the bin.

A glance at Janus showed his gaze turning a little calculating and a little uncomfortable. “Well, I've been told what the last plant means so should I be giving you privacy now?” He offered, shifting as though about to get up again.

“No, because you confirmed what I should have registered sooner. The leaves that started these horrible weeks have been around for a while now, honestly longer than I've loved Logan to any degree, let alone strong enough to form them.” Despite the main colour around the model now being the pink from tulip petals Remus could reach into it and pull out peppermint leaves easily.

He remained silent, holding them out towards the pair. Logan took one, pausing to inspect it. “It means relief for me. It's one of the only emotions I've been able to work out. Pat gave me a contact that might help get studies to discredit if not at some point outlaw petal therapies.”

“When I get peppermint it's because I'm really proud of something.” Janus muttered, silently trying to figure out the chances of them all sharing the same plant for various emotions.

Remus smiled a little at their comments. “And we all know that for me it means love. I love you, both of you actually. It would be bad for me to expect an immediate response but I really do need at least something, even if it's just a ‘you'll think about it and let me know’ how you feel about me this time next week. I'm expecting what, charts and diagrams from Logan and Janus finding a jazz song that somehow perfectly expresses it all to try and outdo my demonstration.”

The remark got a laugh from Janus, although Logan was now reaching towards his bag. “I will say we should probably order some food now, before we get into another talk like that one.” Janus suggested, glancing at the clock and mildly surprised that if they had ever started a movie the first one would have finished already.

“On it. I'm getting Chinese and ordering pizza and desserts too. It's a race of deliveries.” Remus called, grabbing his phone and hurrying out of the room for a moment. It was clear he'd gone through a lot of emotions in the demonstration and just needed a break before facing any reaction they might give.

At first Logan thought Janus was just clearing up the petals but after a few moments it became clear that while the majority of tulip petals were being brushed into a bin he'd pulled over Janus was doing everything he could to repair the damage the ruler had done to the model. “I've got a few peppermint leaves in my bag if you need extra to repair it.” He commented, the spider maps he'd brought still rolled up and balanced against the end of the sofa.

“I think an extra pair of hands and some spare leaves might actually be enough to get this damage mostly repaired.” Janus nodded, shifting enough for them to work together on repairing it.

/\/\

Remus wasn't sure quite how to react when he came back. Part of him wanted to throw his arms around the pair, cooing at their cute attempts to fix his heart, the other part wanted someone else to have their emotions on display for a bit instead.

He leapt over the table, Janus and Logan to throw himself on the sofa. “Food's on it's way, sounds like we're starting with dessert from their delivery times. Now where are you getting all the peppermint to do those repairs? Did someone run to the shops while I was upstairs?”

Logan cleared his throat, standing as it seemed they wouldn't get much further with repairs. “No, I had them in my bag. Roman mentioned something about knowing my own emotions which has me rather wanting to keep the leaves or petals from them for the time being. It seemed fitting that they should go to try and repair at least the metaphor for the hurt I caused.” He explained, going to pick the maps up again. “Although after getting my brother’s help to understand at least some of my emotions I was hoping to talk about a few of them with you tonight as well.”

“Talk, show, or did you write us letters you hoped could be left until the end of the evening?” Remus suggested, waving a hand before one of the rolled up pieces was placed into it.

Janus had been handed the other one and merely blinked at Logan, silently questioning what it was.

“I'm not likely to ever be good at emotional words so, well, it's probably better for you to look at those and then perhaps let me know what you'd understand my emotions to be. Just in case Thomas guided me incorrectly while we tried to identify them.” Logan muttered, waiting until they each unrolled the spider maps and started reading through them.

He had started the evening wanting to talk about them, about the likelihood he loved them, if not as deeply as Remus did, but in that moment words had failed him. As he waited, he ran through a couple of breathing exercises, calming down as best he could despite the nerves running through him.

Remus interrupted that by tackling him with a hug. “Aww, Glasses Gay loves me and I love him. This makes us boyfriends now, right? Say I'm right, please, pretty please?”

Logan focused more on twisting in the hold to try and face both Remus and Janus at once instead of replying. Both pages had explained similar emotions, so even with one confirmation he still wanted to see the second response.

Janus responded in his stead, still reading through the spider map on his lap but watching his friends closely too, “I suppose that is the logical progression of your relationship given this evening.” He shrugged his shoulders enough his hat started to fall before being stolen by Remus who had suddenly jumped close.

“Nope, no hiding feelings this evening hat boy. Show me your flowers.” By the time Janus had registered the hat being stolen and Remus's hands being placed in front of him he couldn't hold the plants back, oak leaves and crocuses falling onto his lap as he avoided coughing onto Remus.

He had wanted to say so much to Logan, barely understanding how the map he'd been given was actually about him, but Remus was there first, always beating him to the words and the chance of a relationship. It was obvious that with how the evening was going that in moments Janus would need to explain what the plants meant, and how he was feeling.

“If it helps those two maps depict what are extremely similar emotions so if Remus and Thomas both believe it to be romantic, perhaps Janus could also be our boyfriend?” Logan suggested, somehow understanding the hesitancy he was having.

Remus remained still at the suggestion, watching for the next reaction for a moment longer.

“It would not be right of me to intrude, despite how sorrowful it makes me to say this. It relieves me to know that you two are finally getting together. I've seen the glances and moments you've shared plenty of times. You will be happy together but I cannot imagine there's an easy way for me to be included in your relationship.” Janus was careful with his words, trying not to cause more pain but also well aware of what he could now be giving up. “My emotions are not so clear as yours are.”

The words of rejection had rather the opposite effect, causing both men to stand so they could sit either side of him. “Do I need to take that apart all over again? You love me enough to want to put my heart back together even when it's just a model I've torn apart.” Remus offered, already reaching for anything in arms reach that he could use.

“No. Your models should be preserved. You always put so much detail into them, even if that's just to protest being told to clear your plants up.” Janus grabbed his hand to stop any action, only to freeze when Logan pulled him backwards into a hug.

“And you cared for me, even while I was too confused over my own emotions to understand anything beyond not seeing Remus being a very negative change to my life.” Logan added.

Janus was still shaking his head as Remus sandwiched him into the embrace. “Face it Sunshine, You're included in this relationship toothpaste: Triple action to create, improve or convince our lives to be better. Only one stopping you is you.”

“Shouldn't we actually talk about being poly first? I have no clue how this is gonna work?” Janus gave in, accepting what they were saying but still a little hesitant.

Remus just cackled, “Nah, all I wanna know is if Logie is moving in tomorrow or waiting for a bit?”

“Definitely waiting a while and we have all evening to talk and eat so why don't we go through all of our concerns and desires?” Logan suggested, standing up as there was a knock on the door. “In fact I think that must be at least some of the food now.”

Remus remained attached to Janus while Logan answered the door, whispering, “I can kiss you now, right? Are you okay with that?”

Their lips meeting was his reply. Janus finally relaxed into what was being decided, melting into the kiss as Remus buried a hand in his hair. 

Once the door shut, Logan's lips weren't long to join, kissing their cheeks until they separated and his lips could meet another's. Even watching Remus kiss Logan felt comforting rather than the isolation that Janus had been expecting would come with the scene since everything began weeks ago.

[k-writer1998]

Rebel Hours (10/18)

Kwon Jieun always fit her parents’ image of the “perfect” daughter… at least to their knowledge. Away from prying eyes she was like any other girl living life to the fullest doing what she wants. When a little someone named Bang Chan comes into her life priorities are changed, mistakes are made, and her life finally becomes her own.

Fluff

w.c: 1.7k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Jieun I-”

“Chan, you said you wouldn’t.”

“I know but I just couldn’t let him go like that. He hurt you and god knows however many other girls out there.”

“But you could have gotten caught, either by the cops or Kyunghoon. We have enough crazy with my parents, can we not bring in more crazy rich people?” I scolded.

“I’m sorry… but I don’t regret it either,” He apologized.

      As I looked at the boy next to me I knew I couldn’t stay mad, I never could with anyone. Plus everything he did was with good intentions… for the most part. I was just scared he could’ve gotten caught or hurt or both! With a sigh I grabbed his hand as I watched the road ahead of me. It’s time to be more honest about things.

“Thank you for doing that for me anyways… and I’m not mad, I just don’t like the idea of you possibly getting into trouble because of me.”

“Hey,” he stopped in his tracks which forced me to stop and look at him. “None of this is your fault, don’t blame yourself for it. Plus Seunghee was helping so I didn’t get caught.”

“But you did, by me. That’s what you get for recruiting my best friend who also lives with me,” I stuck my tongue out at him.

“In my defense she recruited herself, she said your plan sucked.”

“She only said that because it didn’t involve physically hurting him.”

“Then that kinda is a sucky plan,” he laughs.

“Stop being cheeky,” I scrunch my nose with a smile before a question that had been floating around in my mind made itself known. “I’ve been thinking about something. How did you know it was me when you picked me up that night?”

“Your tattoo,” he pointed to my left collarbone where my heartbeat tattoo peeked from beneath my sweater, “I’m guessing the rain washed the makeup off.” 

“Awwww and here I thought it would be a cute answer,” I joke.

“What? Did you want to hear that I looked into your eyes and just knew that it was you?”

      He teased back as he opened the restaurant door. We continued to poke fun at each other as we took our seats and ordered our food. It felt nice, actually acting like a couple without the blurred lines we had when we first started talking. Now that everything is out it felt refreshing to expand my circle a little more. It was inevitable for me to fear the future when my parents were part of the equation but Chan being who he is, helping me when I was desperate, and getting revenge for me gave me more confidence that we could get through the hurdle that is my parents… that I could get through it.

“Now who’s the one not listening?”

“Huh? Sorry, I was too busy thinking about you,” I gave a cheeky smile.

“Well stop that, I’m right in front of you,” he laughed as he grabbed my hand from across the table. “I asked how you ended up finding out from Seunghee.”

“I came in to ask for outfit advice for our date. I thought she was watching a movie but when I came closer I noticed it was security camera footage and I noticed a certain someone neither of us liked on screen and a familiar silhouette of another certain someone.”

“You recognized me by my silhouette?”

“It’s not that shocking Chan, you work at a club. I basically fell for you because of your silhouette and the brief flashes of your face I saw when the light hit it just right.”

“What? You didn’t fall for my charming personality? Wow I see how it is,” he teased.

“Like you fell for my shining personality and not the fact that the first time you saw me I was in a very revealing mesh top and a miniskirt?” I countered with a smirk.

“Of course. Look, you can easily keep up with me and my antics. I was a goner once you didn’t give me a name. Isn’t that right princess?”

“Ugh noooo, that was so cringey and don’t start with the nicknames Christopher.”

“But you like being called princess don’t you? Or do you prefer something else, like baby girl,” he smirked.

“Oh my gosh, I can’t believe you actually did that.”

      I laughed, using my hand to cover my face in hopes that Chan didn’t catch the blush burning on my cheeks. Luckily even if he did the waitress brought out our food. We ate and were deciding on what to do next when his phone buzzed. After a few exchanges he put it down and offered going to the club to meet his friends. Meeting his friends low key freaked me out but I have wanted to meet them properly after hearing the interesting stories Chan has told me. I was glad that Seunghee talked me into wearing my black sweater that laces up on the sleeves, giving my high waisted plaid skirt a sexier look fit for the club. Once we finished our dinner we hailed a cab and ended up back where it all began. Once we entered the club, Chan led me to a table with four guys sitting around it. There was Changbin, Felix, Jisung, and a new face I‘ve never met. I smiled at them all, letting Chan take the lead as he greeted the boys.

“Hey guys, thanks for letting me bring my girl.”

“No worries hyung, we’ve been dying to meet her,” Jisung said excitedly.

“Jisung, you’ve met her already,” Changbin teased. “Remember at my birthday party?”

“Huh… wait WHAT?!”

      I laughed as Jisung processed the sentence. I don’t know how but that boy was louder than the music in this club which was a feat in itself. With my courtesy smile I gave him at the party, I extended my hand before introducing myself.

“Hi, I’m Kwon Jieun.”

      I laughed as he wordlessly shook my hand, his eyes frozen in it’s wide state of shock. Chan then introduced me to everyone else and I learned the last guy was Minho, a university friend. We chatted over some drinks and I quickly eased into the group with little to no awkward tension. Thank god. I actually got on better with Changbin and Felix than I originally thought I would and it seemed it was the same way for the other boys as well.

“You’re pretty cool Jieun, I like this you better… not to be rude!” Felix commented before he panicked once he heard how it sounded as it left his lips.

“It’s fine Felix, I like this me a lot better too,” I laugh.

“But honestly though. If we knew you were this chill we could’ve been pretty good friends.”

“Changbin I wish, but I think you can agree with me that with secrets like mine, the smaller the circle the better.”

“I’ll drink to that.”

      Changbin, Felix and I clinked glasses in silent agreement before taking a swig of our drinks. I continued to drink and talk with the boys until I lost count of how much alcohol I consumed. It wasn’t until Chan took my drink from my lips that maybe I drank a little too much.

“Okay, that’s enough for you,” he chuckles.

“Hey! I wasn’t done with that,” I pouted and whined, “I want to keep up with the boys.”

“You’ve got a long way if you want to keep up with us,” Minho smirks.

“Can too!”

      I tried to reach for another drink but Chan stopped me once again which caused the other boys to chuckle at me. Chan was moving to grab our stuff as Changbin started teasing me.

“Hate to break it to you princess but you’re a lightweight.”

“Shhhhh, only Chan can call me that.”

“I think it’s time for us to go baby girl.”

      Chan shook his head as he helped me up. The boys were relentless when they heard the pet name fall from his lips, an onslaught of teasing was dropped before we said our goodbyes and left. Chan hailed a cab and gave the driver my address before we piled in.

“My place is farther than yours, why not let me stay at your place and save cab fare? It’s closer.”

“As much as I would love to have you come over again, you’re not sober and I don’t think Seunghee would appreciate it. Plus you have a morning class tomorrow and your place is closer to your campus,” he chuckles.

“I have class? Oh yeah… Wait! Before we get to my place we have to discuss this!”

“What is it?”

“Seunghee has to go back soon but before she leaves I want you to meet my friends.”

“Let’s discuss this when you’re sober.”

      He chuckled with a shake of his head, he isn’t taking me seriously. I cross my arms and turn to face him, making direct eye contact to make sure he knows I was being one hundred percent serious. I may be tipsy, probably more so drunk, but I know both sober me and drunk me agree that I want Chan to properly meet my friends. For one I met his and for me this was equal to meeting my family.

“No, I want to discuss this now. I’ve been thinking about it since we first talked with the guys and I was very sober then.”

“But I would like you to remember we made the plans.”

“Hey! I am very responsible, I take care of sober me very well, I’ll leave a note so I won’t forget to arrange it.”

“You’re a handful, you know that?” he chuckled.

“You said it didn’t you? Maybe being a handful is my true calling. You can’t be the only one having fun being the bad apple,” I laughed.

      We arranged a time to meet up before Seunghee’s flight back to the UK and by then the cab arrived at my apartment. Asking the cab to wait, Chan walked me back to the door and waited for me to go in. After I entered the door code and holding the door slightly open we bid each other good night. With every last bit of courage I had, liquid and not, I gently pulled Chan’s shoulder and crashed my lips on his. As quick as I did it  I pulled away giving him a final good night, my eyes taking in that goofy dimpled grin on his face as the door closed.

[mrsmess]

Faves and fails of SPN (season 13):

Favorite episodes in chronological order:

13:1 Lost and found - This is a very strong start of the season, might be one of the strongest intro episodes since the early seasons. Jack is actually instantly likeable, and apart from Dean shooting first and asking questions... kinda never, the boys do good. I also like the side characters, they make it clear that this could’ve been so much worse if some shitty people were first on the scene.

13:3 Patience - Loretta! Brought back from season 1 to die instantly. Oh wow. The SPN-way. But at least I dig the story. And Jody is here. And Sam is sweet to Jack. I’m fine.

13:4 The big empty - Cass is in the upsidedown. Jack goes hunting. Incidently, this discrepancy between the brothers is the kind I can get behind because it’s based on something real - a new family member, the loss of another, not some abstract drama where one of them lets their fear get the better of them and creates drama w/o even talking to the other. Spooky space entity in the big empty. Misha Collins, everyone! Nice. A kind shapeshifter. ”Even monsters can do good in this world.” Dean communicating sincerely. ”I need you to keep the faith, for both of us.” Cass - An angel so annoying that the big empty itself spat him back out.

13:5 Advanced Thanatology - honestly the brothers, loving them extra much this season, even when they argue. Hung-over Dean. Fun. Killing yourself for three minutes... Jeez, have you learned nothing ? No? Oh ok. It’s just a little death. And Sam’s reaction is more exhasperated than anything, it’s... funny. And then: ”I saw Cass kill you!” Yeah, like that matters. Also nice that the show finally ties up that whole how-do-people-die-w-no-death-thing.

13:6 Tombstone - STOP using ”but you died” as an excuse why people shouldn’t be back! Coming back from the dead isn’t just reserved for the Winchesters you know! Team free will 2.0. Nice! ”He’s an angry sleeper, like a bear” *spits out coffee* are you trying to kill me?! ”It’s good to have you back, Cass” to be constantly baffled by you. Jeez, the cringe! And the undertaker! Looking like a retro pinup crossed w Rosie the riveter! What a treat. Dean being a fanboy (and oh technically, couldn’t this obsession with cowboy-criminals count as a true crime -fad? No? Oh well.) Dean crawling through the ghoul-paths, referencing Die Hard. Good episode. Dean forgiving Jack. Sweet. Too bad Jack’s having none of it. They *have* raised a Winchester.

13:7 War of the worlds - a torture scene is the quickest way for me to start rooting for whoever is being tortured. Even Lucifer. Hey, and it’s also the quickest way to end up- if not on the fail list, then at least off the fave list. Oh, Ketch is back. Gun, mouth, now. Noooo, a twin! Shoot me twice. Fail list. Can’t be helped. Lucifer coming to Castiel’s rescue and burnin the brothers ”with their second-guessing and whining.” And Asmodeus showing up. Luci being sassy. Oh gods. Not an evil twin. I’m changing my mind, it stays on the fave list- what’s going? Oh I know: it’s an entire season of a soap crammed into one Supernatural episode. All the soap-tropes. It’s hysterical!

13:8 The scorpion and the frog - Dean insulting Smash’s excellent shoes. I rly don’t think you are in a position to criticize anyone’s wardrobe. Smash and Grab are funny. And the setting is too. And the brothers are really excellently cast in their roles in this heist: Sam as the awkward nerd and Dean as Mr TCB. Dean putting his hand into the bocca della verita! Sam: ”Dean! He’s immortal!” Dean: *knocks Shrike out*. Oh Dean. ”I just had an idea, but it’s a little crazy.” ”I’m good with crazy.” Crazy’s the only game in town. The Winchesters and the curveballs. Rolling Shrike in front of them. Brilliant! Good ending. But Sam! You know how to kill anything but you don’t know that you don’t blow on a burning piece of paper to put it out? .... *shrugs* that actually makes sense.

13:9 The bad place - instantly liking this artist. Crazy about the premise 3 minutes in. And very upset 5 minutes in. Poor Derek! The return of Patience, I’m equally pleased and distraught, stay away, girl! And Kaia! And Dean coming around to Jack. That’s sweet. Jeez, is that a helicopter shot. Hella pretty! Omg! Finally giant monster time! *chills* i have been waiting for this my whole life.

13:10 Wayward sisters - Holy hell. This season has been frickin awesome so far, and now I get all my babies together. Saving Sam and Dean. Finding Kaia. My heart is just full of rainbows.

13:12 Various and sundry villains - Oh no! I liked Dale. See here we are again, using actors from previous seasons: it’s the chick from Twihard and apparently she’s not random enough. Ugh . Oh! So this is a goofy!Dean episode! Those are usually welcome. The setup for this is very annoying though. Thank godess for Rowena! Bringing all the truths. I think I love her. Woah. Killing the girls like that. Harsh. Sam being soft and giving her the spell. I love him.

13:17 The thing - this episode makes me realise there’s not enough tentacles in Supernatural. Gabriel! Back with the boys! I’m so pleased.

13:18 Bring ’em back alive - Charlie! Gabriel! Lucifer! This is just a deeply satisfying episode. On multipel levels. I love the characters standing up for themselves, in different ways. Charlie’s simple line: ”that’s not your call” struck a cord; not everybody chooses to join your fight, some have their own and the right walk away from yours.

13:19 Funeralia - the right amount of silly according to Mr Mess and that counts for something around here. Sam showing genuine remorse at shooting Rowena and Rowena being genuinely upset that he would. I’m moved. And Rowena’s consession. The boys giving Rowena a pep talk! My heart!

Fail episodes in chronological order:

13:11 Breakdown - Donna is always a win, but dark and gritty? And monsters on the internet. Nah. Too much torture porn.

13:22 Exodus - have I mentioned that I don’t watch Supernatural for the post-apocalyptic scenarios? If I’m expected to deal with that type of grit I’m gonna need a whole lot more kissing.

13:13 Devil’s bargain - Ketch’s mere presence is enough to put this episode on the fail list. If he’s gonna be in this show the least he could do is to regrow that beard of his. Also the fact that Lucifer simply cannot chill. Gabriel is back but alas, doesn’t make up for the episode.

Honorable mentions:

Og and Magog are two hoots and a half.

The animators making the brothers equally tall in Scoobynatural. That’s adorable!

Camo-Samo in the final episodes.

Jack saying I love you to Sam in the final episode kinda killed me.

Mediocre mentions:

The rising son - Can tell pretty early that this is gonna bore me, and it does, but any scene with Jack and the boys is good. ”What would Mr Rogers do?” Good question. ”Dean feels like he has to protect everyone.”

Unfinished business - always here for Gabriel/Loki stuff, especially when it involves both Gabriel and Loki. But idk, vengence as a theme... not my favorite. Mary is sweet though.

Beat the devil - Rowena and Gabriel, I’m just so happy. But wtf were they thinking leaving Rowena w Lucifer. That pisses me off. Almost so that I can’t enjoy the reunion of Jack and Sam. Almost.

Summing up:

The shining star of this season is Jack.

It feels a bit like this is what I’ve been waiting for, for the boys to use what they know constructively and practically and personally: when they’ve met people in need of guidence before they’ve ditched them with someone they’ve deemed as more maternal but now they take Jack with them, which allows them both to be big brothers. That’s good.

[cassercole]

the one with the band

SHIP: PROCTOR-ROGERS FAMILY FEELS  RATING: TEEN WORD COUNT: 2,943 PROMPT: Just a fun little prompt with Steve and Tristan -- his younger son!  TAGGING: (permanent tag list): @whindsor​ @hrhatbat​ @fraysquake​ @sgtbuckyybarnes​ @elenacarinandherfandoms​ @chuck-hansens​ @luucypevensie​ @mystic-scripture​ @perfectlystiles​ @allaboutocs​ @anotherunreadblog​ @witchofinterest​ @hvproductions​ @heirsoflilith​ (WANT TO BE ADDED TO THE TAG LIST?)

Steve was well aware of how his teenage son was sneaking out at night. And it wasn’t even late at night sneak outs that he had assumed he would have to deal with, no. Tristan would leave after dinner with no word as to where he was going or when he would back. And right through the front door -- not even through a window like the countless movies and tv shows had prepared Steve for. 

The first couple of times, he let it slide, thinking his son had at least told his mother where he was going. But when he mentioned it to Q, she told him she had no idea where Tristan was going. 

“Why does it matter? He’s back before curfew.” she shrugged while she finished loading the dishwasher with the plates from their earlier dinner. 

“Yeah and when did you get back from your teenage antics when you were his age?” he asked, leaning one hand on the counter. 

“Before curfew so my parents wouldn’t suspect anything, then I would sneak back out after --” she cut herself off, staring at the open dishwasher for a moment as her words caught up to her. He gave her a pointed look, waiting for the realization to hit, “Oh goddamnit.” she sighed heavily, closing the dishwasher rather dejectedly and then meeting Steve’s look, “We should’ve just stopped with Bonnie. We didn’t realize how lucky we were, not having a kid like me.” she sighed. Steve rolled his eyes at her dramatics, knowing she was just fishing for a compliment but not focused enough to give her one. 

“I’m gonna see where he’s going.” he told her, pushing off the counter to go get his hoodie from the chair at the table. 

“I want to tell you to not to, but if he’s anything like me, he’s probably in a liquor store putting alcohol into his purse.” she sighed again, annoyed that those genes out of everything were the ones that were passed on. Steve gave a dry laugh as he zipped up his hoodie, 

“Or in the city, pit-pocketing some rich Wall Street guy.” he added, reminding her of another thing she used to do in her youth. 

“Or plotting a break in to a highly secure government facility, then being found with a dead body and a literal smoking gun.” she continued, making Steve pause and look over at her, “Too soon?” she grimaced, knowing it wasn’t. He shook his head, moving over to give her a quick kiss goodbye.

“I’m sure it’s nothing more than a study group.” he tried to calm both of them down with something rational that their son could be doing. She scoffed at his comment, knowing that wasn’t true. 

“If only.” she sighed again, giving him another kiss before he turned to leave.

As with most things in his life, modern technology had made finding Tristan much easier than it would’ve been years earlier. While he did feel a little bad about tracking his son, the fatherly instinct to make sure he was okay outweighed the guilt. Except it only returned when he figured out where exactly Tristan had been going. 

The coffee shop in the small town was dimly lit, but plenty crowded as Steve opened the door. Curious to see what was going on, he looked over the sea of people who were all looking in the same direction. Up toward the front of the shop a band was taking their places, all of varying heights and styles, armed with different instruments. It was easy enough to spot Tristan standing to the left of center stage; with his lanky, tall frame and the wild dark curls he had earned from his mother. Surprisingly, he had some sort of electric bass slung over his shoulders and was pretty expertly picking at chords while the rest of the band warmed up. 

“Hey, hi,” one of the other members of the band stepped forward to the mic and quieted the crowd, “Hey, we’re Blanket Statement and we’re gonna get started with a couple of covers first and then play you guys some new stuff that our bassist, Tristan, wrote.” the front woman explained the show. Surprise seemed to be the theme of that evening as Steve learned that Tristan was not only able to play the bass, but also in a band. One that had a seemingly large fanbase for the small town they lived in, and was talented enough that he even wrote some songs. He stayed where he was as the band started to play the first of the few covers they had prepared -- two songs he had heard before, a long time before when he lived in DC with Q, and was pleasantly surprised at how good they sounded. The Tame Impala cover the girl sang seemed to be the one people looked forward to the most, and the one Tristan seemed to be having the most fun playing. (Of course it was one of Q’s favorite songs so Steve wasn’t surprised by that).

Then came the songs Tristan had apparently written. Steve waited with bated breath, not knowing exactly how they would sound. It wasn’t like he or Q had any sort of creative writing bone in their bodies. Sure, sometimes Steve would try writing poetry now and then, but it wasn’t one he fostered like his art skills. But musical ones? Nothing. Nada. He remembered seeing a guitar in Q’s apartment in DC however long ago, but it had a thin layer of dust on it like she never ever picked it up. Though, as on theme with the night, he was pleasantly surprised and rather impressed at the songs his kid created. And couldn’t help but grin to himself as Tristan leaned close to his microphone to sing backup with the lead singer. 

Of course Steve would be proud of his kids no matter what, but watching his son share his talents and musical gifts and actually look like he was having fun for once in his life ignited a bright flame of pride behind Steve’s sternum. Seeing Tristan pluck at the bass and groove to the beat he was creating was something he never could’ve imagined happening in a hundred years, but he suddenly couldn’t imagine Tristan doing anything else. It was perfect for him. 

Not wanting to be caught, Steve ducked out before the show finished. He made his way home where Q was waiting up for him in their bed. He found her reading some sort of trashy romance novel that would do nothing but give her ideas (ones he would be happy to participate in), but when he walked into the room, she marked her page and pushed her reading glasses up to the top of her head, 

“You find him?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“Mhm.” Steve nodded, wanting to tease her a bit as he shrugged out of his hoodie and then pulled his shirt over his head, “Guess where.” her eyes widened a bit at his tone and she pushed the covers off of herself, 

“Noooo, don’t tell me he was dropping balloons filled with colored powder off the roof of a building at pedestrians.” she groaned a bit, making him laugh.

“Nope.” he crawled onto the bed on all fours, “He wasn’t doing anything illegal.” he assured her, flopping down onto his back so his head hit the pillow, “He was at that little coffee shop on Wyndmoor.” he gestured vaguely to the direction of the coffee shop, moving on once Q nodded, “Playing bass. In his band.” he stressed, raising his eyebrows up and watching his wife’s face for her reaction. Her eyes widened at the word, then her mouth opened a bit at the imagery, then she pulled the corners of her mouth down -- nodding a bit as she thought it over, 

“I can see it.” she commented and Steve laughed a bit, “Were they any good?” 

“Really good.” he admitted, shifting on his pillow so he was a bit more comfortable and still able to make eye contact with his wife, “They covered that Tame Impala song you like,” she gasped a little at the mention, “and he even wrote a few songs himself. Hopeless romantic stuff, you know.” she awh’ed at the theme of their son’s songs, nudging her husband a bit,

“He gets that from you, you know.” he scoffed, rolling his eyes, but knowing she was right. She grinned at him, leaning over to give him a quick kiss. 

“Think he’ll ever let us come see him play?” she asked, almost hopefully. The pair looked at each other, letting a moment pass before both of them burst into laughter at Q’s ridiculous question. Their son would never let them come watch; they’d ruin his ‘cool factor.’

Still, that didn’t stop Steve from at least sneaking into Tristan’s shows. He enacted the undercover protocol that kept him safe for the year or two that he was an enemy of the government but still wanted to see his wife: dressed in dark clothes, hood or hat always on and pulled over so enough of his face was covered, and he didn’t talk to anyone. He was able to just stand in the back of whatever coffeehouse or underground bar they were in and listen to his son play his songs. 

Though his cover didn’t keep for long. One night, he had gotten there too early, which meant Tristan spotted him. He watched his son do a double take and then the easy smile slid off his face, replaced by the stoic -- almost annoyed, expression he usually received from his youngest. God, sometimes he reminded Steve so much of Dawson, it hurt his heart a bit. They would’ve gotten along so well.  

“What are you doing here?” Tristan asked once they were close enough to talk and not cause a scene. His eyes flicked around like he was afraid someone was going to see them, “Is Mom here too?” 

“No, no, it’s just me. We found out you were in a band and I just...I wanted to come see you play.” Tristan’s eyes returned to his, looking doubtful but still annoyed. 

“Don’t you have anything better to do?” he scuffed the toe of his Converse against the ground and Steve chuckled,

“No, actually I don’t.” he admitted and Tristan scoffed, glancing away from him, “It’s a nice way to spend a little quality time with you.” he added. They didn’t do much together as it was; Tristan didn’t like baseball or running like Bonnie did. Steve had a hard time finding something they could do as a father-son duo. If this was as close as he was going to get, he wasn’t going to let it pass him by.    

“What if all our songs are about how much we hate our parents?” he eyed him skeptically, testing him. 

“Then you would’ve told us about this much sooner.” Steve volleyed back with a small gesture to the stage. Tristan rolled his eyes, but fell quiet for a moment, 

“No, Dad, this isn’t cool. This is my thing, okay? I-I don’t want you here,” he raised his shoulders up while Steve tried to ignore the flash of hurt at his words, “I mean if someone recognizes you…” he trailed off, only semi-voicing his insecurities, but it was enough to let Steve understand. 

“I’m not trying to steal your spotlight.” he assured his son. He wasn’t even sure if anyone would really know who he was anymore. The world had moved on. There were bigger and better heroes around. He was just content to tend to his garden and go to his kid’s mini-concerts as a random middle-age (or older) dad. “I just wanted to see you play. Or hear you. Or whatever.” he got an eye roll from Tristan, who then shoved his hands into his pockets. He let his kid mull over what he said for a moment. The teen shook his head, letting his wild, dark curls flop around, then heaved a heavy sigh,

“Fine, whatever, but the moment someone asks to take a picture with you --” he pointed a finger at Steve, who raised his hands up in the air, “that’s it, Dad. Seriously. Just stand there. Don’t move. Don’t talk. Just watch.” 

“Deal.” Steve agreed to the terms, hoping this coffee shop was dim enough where that wouldn’t be a problem. Tristan eyed him for a moment longer before walking away to rejoin his band. 

As much as it killed Steve not to cheer along with the crowd, he tried as hard as he could to respect the rules Tristan put into place. If only because he didn’t want to miss one of the shows. Just like he hadn’t missed one of Bonnie’s track meets or the weird improv shows she did with her community group. 

Though he ended up breaking one of the rules by accident after one of the shows Tristan played. While waiting for Tristan to finish up his mingling with people who stayed after the show (Steve was now driving him to the sets), he saw his son talking with a rather pretty girl. His immediate reaction was to take a picture to show his wife later, but as much as technology had improved his life -- it also made it a lot worse. The constant updates had his settings all out of whack which meant when he tried to take a sneaky picture, the flash immediately went off. And he was caught. 

Having enough time spent in the field, Steve knew how to quickly exit a bad situation. He exited the coffee shop and headed toward his car, hoping that Tristan hadn’t realized what he had done. But a sharp, loud, “What the fuck, Dad?!” coming from behind him in his son’s angry tone proved him wrong. 

Steve froze, then winced, knowing he had messed up and now had to deal with an angry teenager. Really, he’d rather deal with Bruce’s other persona. Much easier to talk to than a hormonal, angry teenager who already disliked him as a base feeling. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I was just trying to commemorate a moment.” he held his hands up in defense, but Tristan ignored the look of innocence. 

“Fucking bullshit, Dad.” he snapped out, “You just did the creepiest thing ever. This is why I didn’t want you to come to these!” he gestured back to the coffee shop and again, Steve felt his heart sink a bit at not being wanted by his son. All he wanted to do was support him.

“Plenty of people were taking pictures, Twist.” he used the nickname he used to use when Tristan was a kid, “I was the only one who had the flash on.” he admitted his mistake, making Tristan groan. He fell back on one foot, twisting his torso away from Steve a bit as he looked up to the night sky,

“God! Dad! This is unreal! You can’t just be, like, a normal dad?!” he gestured frustratedly at his father. Steve made a face, tilting his head to the side a bit,

“I feel like this was a very normal dad thing to do.” he pointed out and Tristan groaned again, shoving his hands through his curls, 

“This is so fucking embarrassing.” he muttered under his breath. He turned away from him, heading back to the coffee shop.

“At least let me take you home.” Steve offered, but Tristan didn’t even pause,

“I’ll get a ride!” he called out from over his shoulder. Steve opened his mouth to try and convince Tristan to change his mind, but Tristan spun around on one foot, spreading his arms out wide as he continued, “I think we’ve had enough quality time tonight, Dad.” he shoved the knife a little deeper into Steve’s chest.   

After getting home and being made fun of by his wife for not knowing how technology worked, Steve waited up until Tristan got home just to apologize to him again.

“Dad, it’s fine, okay? Just let it go.” Tristan disregarded his apology, heading for the stairs as Steve followed, 

“So when’s your next show?” he asked, trying to be casual but Tristan shrugged, not giving him an answer, “Can I come?” he asked with a slight eyebrow raise.

“Fuck no.” Tristan scoffed out, “Not after tonight.” 

“Twist, come on.” Steve put his hand on the railing and the other went to rest on his hip, “I just want to see you play.” 

“Why?” he asked, turning on the stairs to look down at his dad, “Why is this so important to you?” he raised his shoulders up, looking rather angry and annoyed by his dad taking an interest in his activities. 

“Because I like...seeing you excel at stuff.” Steve answered, apparently giving a wrong answer by the way Tristan glared at him,

“Oh, so I’ve just failed at everything else then?” 

“No, Trist--no, Jesus. I mean, it’s great to see you doing something that you’re good at and that you love.” His son eyed him warily for a moment, fiddling with the edges of his flannel as he turned over what Steve said, then nodded slowly.

“Alright, yeah, okay.” he turned away from his dad, heading back up the stairs to his room.

“So can I come to another show?” he tried again, more hopeful this time. “Won’t even look in your direction, promise.” he added on to entice him. 

“Ugh, fine, whatever.” Tristan agreed, sounding annoyed, but he agreed. And Steve was going to go to every show he could.

[bonneyq]

A Crappy Valentine's Day

AN: Hello! Happy Valentine’s Day, guys! I’m out of the hospital and I hope I’m not too late for the party! Oh, Gray and Juvia have been together for three years in this story, that’s why they are so comfortable around each other.

I tried something new, I hope you like it! Also on [FF.net] and [Wattpad]

Using his Ice Make Magic, Gray made a key to his girlfriend’s apartment. She had moved from Fairy Hills so he could visit her almost three years before.

It was Valentine’s day and Juvia hadn’t gone to his apartment or to the Guild yet and Valentine’s day was her day! She went all out. She baked, baked and baked.

The whole Guild waited for it, actually because there was no way Gray could eat all that. Of course, he got special chocolates and, well... treats, that day that involved no clothes and some whipped cream and chocolate syrup.

To say Gray looked forward to Valentine’s Day was an understatement and that year he finally got her a nice gift: a beautiful bracelet with a cross and blue sapphire – the bracelet version of his necklace. He had to get a hundred jobs to pay for it, but he was sure she was going to like it.

Instead, he hadn’t seen her all day.

He saw some pans, baking trays, bars of chocolate, baking flour and various utensils she’d need to bake cakes, cookies and all types of chocolate goods. They were all just lying there, unused.

Concerned, he called her name as he walked further inside the apartment in the direction of her bedroom and heard a pained moan. He froze for less than a second before he rushed to the bedroom, afraid of what he was going to find.

“Juvia?” He opened the bedroom door and saw his girlfriend on the floor, on her stomach and moaning in pain. “Juvia!” He ran to her side and kneeled next to her, concerned. He didn’t see any wounds, but she sounded in pain. “Juvia?” He pulled the blue curls of her hair from her face and saw she was pale.

“Gray-sama?” She opened one eye, her cheek was glued on the floor so her answer was more like ‘Grayshama?’ and he was just a little relieved to hear her.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, worried. “Why are you on the floor? Are you hurt? Did you fall? I can help you up.” He made to help her but she pushed his hands away.

“Noooo.” She complained. “It hurt less like this. Please.”

“What hurts less?” Gray sat by her side on the floor, a hand on her lower back, clearly confused.

“Everything.” Juvia moaned again and he frowned so she explained. “Juvia has cramps. Awful, from the devil, cramps. And this position plus the coolness of the floor are the only things making her feel slightly better.”

“Oh.” Gray blinked two times while processing her words. “This place is going to start to warm up soon.”

Juvia just snorted and said. “Please. Juvia started over there.” She pointed next to the bed with her chin. “She just moves when it’s not cool anymore.”

Gray couldn’t believe his eyes or ears. There was, his girlfriend, one of the most talented Mages in the country, lying on the floor, wearing her pajama shorts, her shirt was rolled up under her breasts so she could feel the coolness better, he guessed, her hair was a mess of curls and, well… she looked completely ridiculous.

The blunette made a pained face and tried to muffle a groan, but Gray saw it and she gave up of pretending. “Argh, this sucks.”

“Do you have any medicine for this?” Without realize, Gray started to massage her lower back slightly and her sigh was of relief after a moment.

“The strong stuff’s in the bathroom.”

“And you didn’t get it?”

There was silence for a moment. “Juvia would’ve gotten there.” Gray realized she was slowly moving towards her bathroom and he raised an eyebrow. “The pain was bearable at first, she took some medicine and then, all of a sudden, it felt as if Juvia’s uterus had a knife and wanted revenge.”

“You know, for a romantic person during a romantic holiday, this is probably the least romantic thing you’ve ever said to me.” The Ice Mage said. “And we fought each other for real a few times, eh? And this is me counting all the embarrassing stuff you’ve said over the years.” Juvia chuckled and Gray smiled when she looked at him. “Alright, tell me what you need and I’ll go to the bathroom to get it. No need to roll all the way over.”

Juvia almost cried in relief. “First aid kit under the sink. It’s in a little blue vial, there are a few, though.”

“Got it.” Gray nodded and went to get the medicine she needed. Juvia had a variety of vials inside the kit, and he read the labels of the blue vials out loud until she said he had the right one. He went to the kitchen to get a glass of water and then returned to his position seated next to his girlfriend and with some maneuver he gave her the medicine and when she made a disgusted face, she used her magic to bring the water from the cup to her mouth and then put her head on the floor again, sighing in relief. “Better?”

“Give me a few minutes and Juvia will be able to feel human again.”

“Alright.” Gray put the cup on Juvia’s nightstand and sat back. “You could’ve used your magic to get the medicine.”

Juvia frowned for a moment and looked to her boyfriend. “Juvia was crawling to the bathroom and in pain. She wasn’t thinking much.”

“Fair enough,” Gray granted. “I’ve never seen you like this. Sure, I’ve seen you get some cramps, but never like this.”

Juvia sighed. “Juvia’s cramps aren’t usually this way – just once or twice a year since she can remember, that’s why she has the stronger medicine stashed. Usually the one she took earlier is enough. Besides, Juvia tries to not be around you when she’s on her period.” She shrugged – or the version of it when you were sprawled on the floor. “She usually takes missions. Sometimes she can’t, as you know but the hormones are a good advantage during a fight. You have seen Juvia angry with PMS, now double that when she’s cranky with pain and someone messes with her.”

Gray’s eyebrows shot up. “Poor guys.”

“Good steam relief.” She said. “And Juvia didn’t want you to see her like this when she felt it would happen.” She pointed at herself sprawled on the floor. “Isn’t exactly attractive.”

He snorted. “We saw each other die, I think modesty is a little pointless after that. You don’t have to run to missions every time you need some ‘alone time’, you know? You can ask for a few days on your own or tell me you don’t want me around-” He stopped. “Oh. Well, I’d think you were being controlled if you asked me those things if I didn’t know.” Juvia chuckled.

“It would have been quite unusual for Juvia.”

“Bottom line, just tell me if you want to be alone or if you want me around. It’s been more than three years now, not much scares me anymore.”

“Did Juvia scare you?” She smiled.

“You terrified me, being all open about your feelings, and shit. And you wanted me to explore my own feelings. Who does that?” He told her and it earned a light slap on his leg. “Sorry, sorry. Can you get up, now?”

Juvia thought it over for a moment and then nodded. Gray helped her up, an arm around her shoulder and another around her waist and when she was up, he carried her to the bed.

“Thank you.” She sighed. “Today wasn’t supposed to turn like this. Juvia was going to bake you some things and then, later…” She blushed slightly. Two and a half years of getting down and dirty and she still blushed. “Her period was supposed to start in three days, not today.” The Water Mage complained. “She bought the chocolate syrup and the whipped cream.”

Gray blushed slightly and sat on the bed facing her – apparently he could still blush about it as well. “I think I can survive a Valentine’s Day without your baking and without the sex with condiments.” Gray rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry, we can celebrate in a week or whenever you want to, just give me a heads up.” He shrugged. Besides making her happy (the condiment-sex was quite impressive, though), he didn’t care for Valentine’s Day much.

“Are you sure?” She sniffled.

“Positive.” He gave her one decisive nod.

Juvia bit her lower lip. “Alright. But Juvia’s bringing all her game next week when we do celebrate it.”

“Deal.” He didn’t even fight her – he learned a long time ago, it was pointless. Unless it was something very important or life threatening, he knew Juvia would most likely win the argument and she wanted to give good food and excellent sex in a few days, by her look of determination. He would be a fool to argue against that. He was quite looking forward to it, actually.

“The side effect of the medicine is that you fall asleep quickly after taking it.” She mentioned, eyes already getting heavy. “Just for an hour or so.”

“Go to sleep. Crawling your way to the bathroom in pain must’ve been exhausting.” She nodded.

“Could you…?” She looked down to his hand and then to her stomach. With a sigh, he used his magic and cooled his hand a little and put it on her stomach. “Hm… good. Some women prefer a hot compress but Juvia always preferred colder things.”

“You don’t say.” He snorted and she laughed, closing her eyes. “Rest.”

After a couple of minutes, he saw her breathing even out as she fell asleep and removed his hand from her stomach. He shook his head and pulled her shirt down to cover her belly but didn’t pulled the covers, just made sure they were accessible to her in case she needed it.

He still didn’t like to start moments of affection, but before he got up, he kissed her forehead, lovingly. Gray took the velvet box with the bracelet, opened it and put it on her nightstand before he left her bedroom. He didn’t want to leave but there was little to do there while his girlfriend was asleep. Perhaps he could read one of her books.

An idea struck him, though, when he was passing by the kitchen.

How hard would it be?

“What… is this?” Gray heard and looked over his shoulder when he heard his girlfriend’s voice from the kitchen door.

Unlike one might think, the kitchen wasn’t a mess – Gray could cook a little and he always cleaned whatever he used right after and he was finishing doing the dishes. Juvia was surprised to see a tray of cookies cooling on her kitchen counter.

“I... I baked cookies.” He told her, embarrassed. “There was nothing to do and it looked simple on your recipe book.” Gray pointed to the open book on the counter. “You make it look simple.”

“Oh.” She said.

“How are you feeling?” Gray asked.

“Better. Cramps are still attacking, but less, now. Thank you for coming and helping.”

“Sure.” He shrugged and then spotted her wearing the bracelet. “So you found your gift.”

Juvia looked to her left wrist and smiled. “It’s beautiful. Juvia loves it.” She got closer to him and pulled him for a kiss. She certainly had gone to the bathroom and brushed her teeth before leaving her room. “Juvia will get your gift after she tastes one of Gray-sama’s cookies!” She was excited and it was hard to deny her anything when she was that way.

“Alright, let’s do it.” Both reached for a cookie and took a bite and Gray’s eyes widened at the taste. He put his hand over his mouth and didn’t hesitate to spit it out and then dump it and the rest of the cookie in the trash. “Dear gods, what the fuck.”

He looked at Juvia, who was still trying to eat the unholy thing. “What are you doing? This is disgusting.”

“But” she made a disgusted face “Gray-sama baked” another one “with so much love.”

“And it turned out to be poison.” The Ice Mage told her. “Spit it out. Trust me, it won’t offend me.”

Appearing to have reached her breaking point, Juvia finally spat the cookie on the sink and threw the rest of it in the garbage.

“Urgh.” Gray shuddered and got two glasses of water, offering one to the blunette and taking one for himself. After drinking a couple of sips, he spoke. “Well, that sucked.”

“It was… sweet of you to try?”

Gray snorted. “To try to poison us on Valentine’s Day? Sure sounds like me.” Juvia bumped her shoulder on his arm. “Now how about I go out and get Caramade’s Franks for us to eat and if we get lucky, a couple of slices of chocolate cake while you go take a shower?”

“Aw, Caramade’s Franks. We ate that on our first date.”

He rolled his eyes. “I told you a thousand times: that day, before we went to Edolas, was not our first- You know what, sure. We’re dating now anyways, whatever. Go take that shower, though. I know we’ve been through worse but you stayed lying on the ground for hours and it’s not very sanitary.”

Juvia stepped in front of her boyfriend and wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a peck on the lips. “You say the most romantic things, Gray-sama, you try to bake me cookies and you didn’t think it was weird for Juvia to be lying on the floor. You are a very good boyfriend.”

“I’m just a little above the ‘Not Sucks Too Much’-line, actually, but thank you.” He said. “And it was very weird.”

“It was, wasn’t it?” Juvia said. “Since it usually helps…”

“Don’t stop on my account. We all do weird shit.” He kissed her. “Alright. My mission is Caramade’s Franks and cake.”

“Thank you. I love you, Gray-sama.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Happy Crappy Valentine’s Day?” She offered.

Gray actually laughed out loud. “Happy Crappy Valentine’s Day.”

AN: I wanted to write something fun, funny, cute and sweet, but not the same cliché I write every year so I hope you like the break of the babies and big, grand gestures of love and embrace the cramps, crazy people lying on the cold floor and poison cookies. HAHA

[justkending]

Knock, Knock. Part 23

Chapter Summary: Christmas day with Jensen & Family. Let’s see how this goes shall we?

Pairing: (single) Jensen x Reader

Warnings: Cussing? Fluff.

Word Count: 4200ish

A/N: Sorry this took so long to write. Kinda having writers block with this series. Let me know what you think! Feedback is appreciated and welcomed!

Part 23:

You woke up in a tangled mess with strong arms around you. You didn’t want to wake up because of how comfortable you were. Wait, where were you? You remember falling asleep watching The Christmas Story last night, but after that it’s blank. You shifted again to move and see your surroundings. Right as you did it though, arms tightened around your waist. Wait, whose arms are these? Your eyes shot open and turned just enough to see the freckled tan face of Jensen inches away from you. Out of instinct, you tried to push away and create some distance, but Jensen’s grip on you was strong.

He grunted in disapproval, but didn’t wake up. He must have been a deep sleeper if you shoving off of him did nothing. You composed yourself and started thinking of an escape plan. You only got so far thinking about it before you were staring at his face.

The sunlight in the room was coming in and gently dusting over his features. You saw every little freckle he had, and how cute and content he looked holding you. He definitely was a cuddler. You sat for minutes just taking in the view that was the gorgeous man in front of you. His hair was a mess, but still adorable. His eyelashes were long, and fluttered every once and awhile. And he had this slight grin on his face. What was he dreaming about?

You snapped out your thoughts hearing peoples movement outside of your room.

“Shoot.” You thought. “Back to the escape plan.”

Jensen definitely had a good hold on your waist, and you were both facing each other. You decided to wiggle out of his arms, and replace yourself with a pillow so that he could sleep in a little more.

As soon as you started wiggling though, Jensen would groan and grab you in protest. You would freeze and after he realized you weren’t moving anymore his grip would lessen. You did this for about 3 minutes before you were actually free.

Slowly, climbing off the bed you looked over at his sleeping figure as he re-adjusted to the pillow instead of you. You could’ve sworn that there was a pout on his face when he noticed it wasn’t you that he was holding. You chuckled at that, and quietly opened your bedroom door and closed it before making your way to the chaos in the house.

“Mornin’ Monkey.” Your dad said as he was cooking over the stove.

“Mornin’ Dad.” You smiled. “Hey, when did you guys get home last night? I don’t remember seeing you come in.”

“We got back pretty late. We decided to drop by the Hannigan's house to drop of some Christmas presents, and it turned into a whole conversation that lasted hours.” He huffed making it clear that was not something he wanted to do.

“Let me guess, Mom and Eleanor never ran out of things to say?”

“Good guess.” He answered as he stirred what was in the skillet.

“Hey, is that what I think it is?” you asked leaning over to get a better look.

“Your favorite? Yes, it is.” He grinned grabbing you and pulling you into a hug. “I don’t get to see you as often as I like, and I thought ‘What’s better than making the best breakfast food there is for my girl?” he said happily.

“You’re the best.” You muffled into his shirt before pulling away.

“I know.” He joked. “Hey, mind pulling the biscuits out?”

You nodded and headed for the oven. You checked the time and saw that it was 7 in the morning. No wonder everyone was still asleep. Even on Christmas day, you guys tended to sleep in. You didn’t have any younger kids in the house that woke up early, other than Bentley, but he was too young to understand the excitement of Christmas morning anyway.

“Hey, where’s mom? She’s usually up by now.” You asked.

“She’s wrapping some last minute presents in our room. “

You hummed and went to go make coffee. As you were pouring a cup, you heard the shuffle of feet coming in from the living room. You turned to see a very tired Jensen sleepily walking to the table in the window nook, and slouching into a chair. He rubbed a hand over his face, and quickly after ruffled his hair. His eyes were barely open, and he had a small pout on his face.

“Morning there champ.” You giggled. He grunted a response, and you grabbed the mug you made for yourself, and walked over to him seeing that he needed it more than you. “Here.” You said placing it in front of him.

He looked up and gave you a smile out of the corner of his lips. “Thanks.” He said in a husky tone that was laced in sleep. He closed his eyes as he mindlessly grabbed the cup and placed it in both hands to smell it. Another smile made his way on his face, and he took a sip. “Oh thank God.” He whispered he said licking his lips and taking another sip.

“Did you not sleep well?” you chuckled as you walked back to grab another cup for you.

“No, I slept perfect. I think it’s because of how well I slept that I didn’t want to get up.” He said.

“Well, you’ll be happy that you got up after you see what dad made for breakfast.” You smirked going to sit on the other side of him.

“No way.” He said shocked and looking at your father. “Is that-?”

“Learned it from the man himself. You’re in for a treat.” You smiled into your coffee.

“As if this place couldn’t get better.” Jensen said leaning back in his chair with a joy filled grin.

You chuckled, and continued to sip on your coffee. You and your dad talked while Jensen still woke up, and then you heard another pair of feet trudging in.

“Zoe. You’re up earlier than I expected.” You laughed at her morning face.

“Shut up.” She replied going to sit by the chair next to you. You were now placed between the two sleepy heads of the house.

“That’s the Christmas spirit.” You chuckled as you took another sip.

“Yeah, she’s the grumpy one in the morning. We’ve learned not to talk to her until a good 30 minutes after she wakes up.” Your dad said from the stove.

Your sister shot him a dirty look before putting her head back down on the table.

“See what I mean?” he added.

Jensen and her both sat there completely zoned out for the next 10 minutes before your dad announced that the food was done. Jensen immediately jumped up ready to dig into the famous Biscuits and Gravy.

About halfway into eating, and light conversation with your dad and Jensen, Sadie was the next to make it into the room.

“Good Morning everyone.” She said sweetly. Charlie came in seconds later.

“Where’s Bentley?” you asked.

“Mom was changing him before coming in here.” Charlie yawned. “Oh, do I smell-“

“YES!” Sadie cheered as she saw the food on the stove.

“Oh hell yeah. Thanks dad!” Charlie smiled at your dad.

“If I knew you guys loved my cooking so much, then I would have made this your Christmas presents. Would’ve save me a lot of money.” He chuckled taking another bite of food.

“I would have gladly accepted.” You said getting up patting him on the back, and taking your plate to the sink. “I’m going to go get changed real fast before presents. I’ll be right back.”

“Wait!” your dad called after you, making you stop in your tracks.

“What?”

“Your mom got us all matching pajamas.” He said under his breath.

“Noooo…” you breathed out.

“Yessss…” Charlie said in your ear as he passed you. You smacked him on the chest before he sat down making him grunt in pain.

“How bad are they?” you asked hesitantly.

“Not bad Y/N/N.” Sadie answered for everyone. “Your sister and I made sure to push her in the right direction this year.”

“Oh thank God.” You sighed in relief. “We don’t want a repeat of 2015.”

“What was so bad about 2015?” your mom said walking in with Bentley on her hip.

“Nothing!” you answered quickly. “I was just about to go change. I’ll be right back.” You tried getting out of there as soon as possible hoping you could skip out on the twinning outfits.

“Hold your horses.” Your mom shouted once again making you stop before you could get away. “I have something for you to change into.”

“Mom…”

“Nope, no arguing. I don’t get to see you that often, and when I do I want pictures. Therefore, I get to pick the outfits.” She smiled in victory. “Oh, and Jensen.” She said turning to him he snapped his head up. He had been listening and watching the whole thing with a grin. You being the rebel in the group was kinda cute.

“Yes ma’am?” he asked scared how he got put into the conversation.

“I got you a pair too.” She smiled. She walked over to the coffee and without turning back to you said, “Y/N, I already put them on your bed. Also, go do your hair. I want perfect picture this year.”

“Mom!”

“Go.” She said ending the conversation.

“Fine!” you shouted as you made your way to your room stomping and pouting as you went.

“It’s like the she never left.” Charlie said in between bites.

“Fighting back as always. The sass never ends.” Your dad added.

Jensen laughed picking up his plate, taking it to the sink, and washing it off before following after you.

__

Once he got to your room, he saw you standing over your bed looking down at something.

“What?” he said catching you off guard and making you turn quickly to him.

“This.” You answered.

“I don’t see what’s so bad about them. I think it’s nice your family has this little tradition.” Jensen smiled looking at the pajama pants in front of you.

“No I mean; she’s actually making us not look stupid this year. I can actually wear this and not fight her on it.” You chuckled picking up your size.

“Ok, I have to see what the other years looked like since you’re making them out to be so bad.”

“Unfortunately, there are pictures that prove the horrible one piece pjs from Christmas past existed.” You huffed. “Here, these are yours. I’m going to go to the bathroom and change. I’ll see you when I’m all ‘glammed up’ since apparently this isn’t good enough for my mom.” You sassed pointing to your face.

“Well, it’s good enough for me.” Jensen’s smiled.

You could tell he was being genuine, but you didn’t want to look into it so you joked it off.

“You’re a dork.” You said shoving him slightly as you walked by him “I’ll see you by the Christmas tree.” You turned the corner and went into the bathroom quickly.

__

You quickly went into the bathroom, and curled every other piece of your hair as fast as you could. Leaving it in loose waves that were pretty impressive considering the rush. You quickly put on a couple of layers of mascara, and changed before heading to the Christmas tree where you all took your picture in front of every year.

“Ok, ready! Let’s get this over with!” you said clapping your hands together seeing only the men in the room ready to go. “Where are all the girls?” you asked.

“Your sister and mom wanted to try something new this year. Stole the girls, and went to the other room.” Your dad explained as he attempted to set up the camera.

“What’s the something new?” you asked your brother crossing your arms worried about the answer.

“Don’t ask me.” He said putting his hands up.

You turned to Jensen hoping he would have something.

“Hey, don’t look at me. This is my first year. I’m just as lost as them.” He said following your brothers motions.

“Well it better not be anything too-“

“Y/N!” Zoe called turning around the corner. “Come in mom’s room. The girls are getting ready.”

“I’m already ready.” You said with a teasing voice.

“Y/N, come on!” she pouted.

“Seriously Zo. I don’t want to do anything else… Can we just take the picture?” you said slouching your shoulders.

“No.” she ran over grabbing your wrist and pulling you with her. “No fighting me on it. Plus, it was mom’s idea. There’s no getting out of it.”

You didn’t fight back no matter how much you wanted to, but just stomped behind her like the angry three-year-old you were.

Jensen and Charlie burst out laughing watching you stomp off in annoyance.

“Is she always so hard headed? I mean I’ve experienced it multiple times, but-“Jensen smiled after you.

“It never gets better.” Charlie smiled patting him on the back as he turned to help your dad. “But if she does let you see her soft side; then you must really mean something to her.” Charlie added watching Jensen’s smile grow.

“Hmm.” Jensen hummed.

__

Shortly after your sister stole you away, all the girls came back in the room with their makeup all done up now. Apparently, you sister had been practicing (not that she needed to, she was always amazing at it) makeup looks, and your mom wanted her to do it on all you girls for the pictures.

You of course weren’t really one for a full face of makeup unless it was for going out (if that), so you only allowed her to do a subtle natural eye shadow, and a red lip.

“We’re ready.” Your mom stated as she walked in the room. The men already had everything set up so were just sitting around talking as they waited for you all. Bentley cooing as he bounced on his father's leg, and the men talked around him.

“Well don’t you all look lovely.” Your dad smiled at all of you. “Beautiful ladies am I right gentlemen?” he said nudging the men on both sides of them.

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” Charlie said walking over to his wife who was always stunning, and never even needed the makeup. “You look gorgeous as always.” He leaned in giving her a small peck with Bentley on his hip.

“Thanks honey. Now let me see my baby boy.” She smiled reaching for her son. He immediately grabbed for her and a big grin crossed his face.

“You look great Y/N/N.” Jensen whispered in your ear while you were distracted by your brother and his family.

You turned to him with a blush creeping on your face. “I didn’t want all this. I barely let her even put on the lipstick.”

“Well make up or not, I think you look stunning either way.” He smiled never breaking eye contact.

If you weren’t as red as a tomato before, you were for sure now. Before you could thank him, your mom spoke up.

“Ok everyone! Let’s take this picture, and then we can start on unwrapping the gifts! Now everyone get where you need to be.”

Everyone shifted to a spot. Charlie and Sadie next to each other with Bentley in their arms. Your mom, dad, and Zoe in the middle, and You and Jensen on the other side.

It took about 10 takes before your mom was pleased with it, but it finally was perfect enough for you to move on to the next activity of the day.

Everyone handed out the gifts to the designated people, and got situated in specific spots in the living room. Jensen of course sitting next to you.

“Ok, all the gifts are out from under the tree are we missing any?” you asked.

“Oh, Jensen I completely forgot! I need to grab your gifts!” your mom shouted jumping up from her spot on the couch and running to her room.

“You guys didn’t have to get me anything. Heck, you didn’t even know I was coming.” Jensen defended.

“Don’t think about it. What kind of host would we be if you didn’t get something on Christmas?” Your dad said waving him off.

“Really you didn’t-“ Jensen started.

“That reminds me!” you said jumping up and running to your room now.

“You too?” Jensen shouted toward you.

You came back in before your mom, and handed him the wrapped gift you got him months ago.

“Hey, I’m your roommate. Of course I got you something.” You smiled.

“You didn’t have to Y/N/N.” Jensen grinned eyeing you as he took the gift hesitantly.

“I know… but I wanted to.” You winked.

Your mom came running back in with three different boxes.

“Here you go Jensen. Merry Christmas from our family to you.” She smiled as she handed him the boxes.

“You guys really. I didn’t expect to get anything, you shouldn’t have.”

“We did, so don’t worry about it.” Your mom said. “Now everyone ready?” everyone looked around and nodded. “Ok. GO!”

With that everyone started digging into their gifts. Except you. Your favorite part of this tradition was watching the faces of everyone around you. You watched Bentley open a few toys you got him. Charlie opening the cheesy shirt with a Star Wars joke on it. Sadie a wine and art gift certificate. Then you watched as Zoe opened up tons of gifts like a new makeup kit your parents bought her, a new computer case, Charlie and Sadie bought, then you watched her open yours.

“Omg… Y/N. You didn’t…” she said in shock as she opened the envelope with her name written on it. She peeked inside pulling out two tickets. “This isn’t what I think it is, is it?”

“Yep.” You smiled slyly.

“What is it Zo?” Sadie said looking over from the mess that was around her and Bentley from his gifts.

She pulled the two tickets out from the white letter.

“Two tickets to ACL!” she screamed in excitement. “How did you know?”

“Well, we may have different interest, but one thing we have in common is our love for music. Soooo… I got something we can enjoy together.” She jumped up and ran to you to hug you. “You haven’t even heard the best part yet!” you gasped out as she choked the air out of you.

“There’s more?” she said pulling back to see your face.

“Well, Jensen helped me get the tickets, and we talked about where you would stay.”

“Where?”

“Our house of course.” You said over dramatically.

“Wait! You and Jensen’s house! I get to stay at Jensen’s house AND go to ACL!”

Jensen and you shared a laugh at her reaction before you nodded your head.

“Of course!” you said. “I’m not going to make you stay at an expensive hotel, or crappy motel when we live 15 minutes away from it.” You scoffed.

She immediately threw herself around you again and cut off your air supply.

‘Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Oh my God I’m so excited!!!” she said jumping up and down.

“Air Zo. Air.” You gasped.

She pulled away quickly still beaming with joy. “Sorry.” She shrugged. “And thank you too Jensen!” she said turning to him pulling him in a hug as well, and catching him off guard.

“Hey, don’t worry about.” He laughed returning the hug. “It was all your sister’s idea. I just happen to have the house she lives in.”

She pulled away and went back to her spot. “Um that’s what makes it even more unreal. Like seriously. All my dreams came true in less than 5 minutes.” She gleamed.

You all a laughed, and the present unwrapping continued.

You had only opened about 3 out of the 5-6 that you had, but only because you were watching everyone else’s reaction.

Jensen was opening all his slowly too since he didn’t have much.

“Aren’t you going to open those?” Jensen nudged at you while watching you gleam at everyone else laughing, talking, and tore away at gift wrappings.

“Hmm?” you asked turning to him with the same full smile on your face.

“Your presents. You’ve barely touched them, and everyone’s practically done.” He chuckled.

“Oh yeah! Sorry I got distracted.” You turned picking up the closest gift to you and checking to see who it was from. “Jensen you got me a-“

“I’m your roommate. Of course I got you something.” He winked and said in a sly tone before giving you a devilish smirk. “Well, go on. Open it!”

You giggled, and started peeling away at the light blue wrapping that was neatly done.

“A polaroid camera?” you asked pausing as you looked over the box.

“Wait, do you not like it?” he said getting scared he picked the wrong thing.

“Are you kidding me? I’ve been wanting one of these for the longest time, but haven’t got around to getting one!” you said looking over the packaging with glee.

“Oh, thank god. I thought I messed up.” He sighed in relief. “I just remember you saying that you like more sentimental things, and not material things. I thought of your picture wall in your room, and I figured this would be a perfect way to make memories, and capture them you know?”

You had a grin on your face that just wouldn’t break. You were genuinely touched by his thoughts and gift. He had been listening and came up with a creative way to get you something that you would treasure forever.

Instead of talking, you jumped on him, and wrapped your arms around his neck like your sister did before you.

“Oof!” he grunted falling back but catching himself before you took both of you to the ground. “Glad you like it.” He said with a proud smile.

“I love it.” You said pulling back and planting a small kiss on his cheek. “Thank you.” His eyes widened at the gesture, but he quickly brushed it off in hopes of not showing too many of his emotions that were growing in the moment. Luckily no one was watching. Except for Sadie who just smiled to herself before returning to Bentley.

“Well, you’re going to love my next gift then.” He started pulling out an envelope as you pushed off of him.

You looked him in the eyes, and shot an eyebrow at him.

“Jensen, one gift was enough.”

“So? Two gifts is better. Here. Open it so we can skip the whole ‘you shouldn’t have’ and ‘it’s too much’ stuff.” He joked.

You snickered and rolled your eyes at him, and took the envelope slowly opening it.

“What’s this?” you said pulling out a gift card to some place.

“There’s a really good record store in downtown Austin that just opened up. I was walking around, and found it. They had some good stuff so I got you a gift card so you could judge it for yourself.”

“Jensen, this is awesome! I heard about this place I think.” You smirked at him. “Guess we’ll have to take a field trip downtown then, huh?” His eyebrow raised. “Oh don’t think for a second this isn’t for you partially. I know you love my albums. I’ve came home to different ones on the record player than when I left. You’re wanting some new albums too.” You teased.

“Ok, guilty. It may have been a two sided gift.” He said putting his hands up.

“Well speaking of all this. Did you open your gift from me yet?” you asked looking around him.

“Nope. Saved the best for last.” He said pulling it out from behind him.

“Open it!” you said clapping your hands excited for his reaction.

“Ok, ok!” he laughed as he started pulling back the paper. “Whoa… No way.” He said staring in awe at his gift. “Is this a-“

“A signed vinyl of Garth Brooks top hits. Yes. Yes, it is.” You said sharing your own proud smile.

“How-How did you? It must of c-cost a fortune to get his-“ Jensen stuttered

“You’re forgetting we are from Oklahoma, and live in Oklahoma. Therefore, a country star who is from here, has some friends here. I may know a friend who knows a friend.” You grinned. Jensen was still in shock. “I knew he was one of your favorites cause Gen told me. Honestly, I thought it wouldn’t be that big of a deal buying a famous person some other famous persons stuff considering the business, but by the looks of it I think I-“

“You did great. This…This is great.” He said turning to give you the widest smile. “Seriously, Y/N. You struck gold. I love it.” He pulled you into a hug himself, and you caved into his chest. You felt him press a soft kiss on the top of your head, and immediately your face felt like it was on fire.

After you pulled back you saw the whole room was watching you two.

“Anyway…” you said turning the attention away from your redness that was on both of your faces. “What do you say we move onto the next family tradition?”

Part 24

Tags:

@shamelesslydean @sleepless-sin @unabashedsoul97@sandlee44 @gripmetight-raisemefromperdition @cabbagewithissues @supersleepygoat @anotherwaywardsister @spnwoman @ravengirl94 @carryonmywaywardcaptain @ezilyamuzed @thosekidswhohuntmonsters@purpleskiesandcherrypies @anise-d-castle6 @adoptdontshoppets @casper57x @tailsoflightning @spookycowz@eve05glee @snffbeebee @angelessquirrel @mirandaaustin93 @natura1phenomenon @tftumblin @gh0stgurl @screechingartisancashbailiff @kersumgen 

[gimmesumsuga]

Sweeter than Sweet (47)

Pairings: Jimin x reader, Yoongi x reader, Jimin x Yoongi, Namjoon x reader, Taehyung x reader + others as the story progresses

Warnings: Spanking, mild degradation, unprotected sex, daddy kink, orgasm denial, male x male touching

Word count: 4.9K

Previous / Next

“You’ve gotten a lot better at this, y’know,” Yoongi compliments from his spot next to you.   His arm is wound around your waist as you play, his fingers gently stroking your hip and you smile down at the keys, trying not to let yourself get too distracted.  You have a habit of messing up whenever he tries to speak to you or touch you whilst you’re playing, though not quite so often just lately.  Maybe he’s right; maybe you are getting better.  

“Might not need lessons much longer, then,” you say teasingly, knocking your shoulder into him, “You won’t have to keep putting up with me hanging around so much anymore - lucky you.”  Sneaking a glance away from your hands, you see Yoongi pull a face of mock disgruntlement as he squeezes your hip.

“I was just saying that to not hurt your feelings.  You’re terrible.  Really.  Total shit.”  You snort a laugh, rolling your eyes as Yoongi presses his face into the crook of your neck, kissing it.  “Think you’re gonna keep needing my help for a good long while yet.”  

“Is that right?  Well, maybe I’d do better if I didn’t have someone distracting me all the time.”  

“Oh, sorry.”  His tone is sarcastic but playful as he withdraws his hands from you, unwinding his arm and pulling away.  “I’ll keep my hands to myself, shall I?”  

Abruptly you stop playing, throwing your arms around his waist and leaning heavily into him.

“Noooo,” you whine, pouting your lips and grabbing at his t-shirt.  Yoongi starts to laugh as you place loud kisses all over him and eventually he relents, wrapping his arms around you too.

“Don’t worry, princess.  You know I can’t resist you long.”  You lift your face from where you’d been kissing his neck, smiling cheekily before Yoongi kisses the grin right off of your face, lips placed firmly on top of yours.  He nibbles at your bottom lip as you kiss, hugging you harder and you have to admit that you probably could’ve made even more progress with your lessons by now if the two of you could keep your hands off each other for longer than five seconds at a time.  Being like this comes so naturally now, though, that you’re not sure how you ever used to manage to exert that kind of self-control back when touching him was still forbidden.  

A gentle knock comes at Yoongi’s door, breaking your kiss, but even as he grants whomever it is entry he neglects to loosen his hold.  He’s getting bold, apparently, and though it doesn’t bother you you still dread to think how exactly he’d explain the way you’re half sitting on his lap if it was Jungkook that happened to walk in right now, rather than Jimin.  

“I’m not disturbing you, am I?”  he asks casually as he saunters through the door, looking stunning even though he’s wearing nothing more than a pair of black sweats and a long-sleeved grey tee.  He’s just showered; his hair is slicked back and darker than usual, his forehead exposed, and his top is littered with little damp patches from where he must not have dried himself fully.  He’s got a plate of toast in his hands which you presume must be for you, and your stomach grumbles reflexively at just the smell of the butter that wafts over on his approach.  

“Not at all,” Yoongi answers, yet you swear you can feel his grip tighten just a little.

“I brought breakfast.”  Unperturbed the coolness of Yoongi’s tone, Jimin comes to stand right beside the two of you, gifting you with a brief smile before turning his eyes to the boy that’s still clinging to you.  “I presume she can take a little break to eat?”

“Of course.”  Yoongi relinquishes, letting you slide of the piano stool to stand before Jimin and take the plate of toast with a small, grateful smile.  As soon as his hands are free Jimin places one of your cheek, leaning in to possess your lips in a lingering kiss that leaves your head spinning, and by the time he pulls away Yoongi has turned back to the piano, ignoring the way Jimin takes your hand to lead you across the room.

Jimin climbs onto the bed and sits cross-legged on the sheets before taking the plate from you, allowing you to do the same.  

“If I find crumbs I'm blaming you, Jimin,” Yoongi calls over the music he’s playing but Jimin just smiles, passing back your toast.  Eagerly, but oh so carefully, you start to eat under the younger boys watchful gaze.  

“You have a nice time?” he asks you and you nod quickly, unable to answer with your mouth so full.  “Good.”  You rush to finish chewing so you can ask a question in return and Jimin folds his hands in his lap, waiting with an amused smile as your jaw works furiously up and down.

“What about you? Did you sleep ok?”  He nods too.

“I struggled a little, at first, but I know hyung cherishes you almost as much as I do.  I knew he’d look after you.”  Jimin's words make you blush and you glance over at Yoongi's back, wondering if he heard what was just said.  It'd be hard to tell if it weren't for the slight stumble in his pacing across the keys, the rhythm of the song faltering for a second before smoothing out again.  Jimin pays it no mind, looking over with a grin as he adds, “It was nice not having to fight you for the duvet for once.”

“Feel your pain,” Yoongi chimes in, confirming that he is indeed keeping one ear on the conversation.  

Indignance makes you very nearly choke on your toast.  

“You're cold blooded!” you sputter, “You don't even need blankets!”  At that Yoongi stops playing, swivelling around on the stool to face the both of you.

“Not the point… It's the principle of it.”  You glare at him, chomping on your toast as Jimin laughs, thoroughly amused.  

“Whatever,” you mumble around your mouthful, trying not to let the adorable smile curling Yoongi’s lips affect you.  The three of you fall silent as you continue to eat, though it's a strangely comfortable kind of quiet given the complexity of your relationship with the two of them.  

You notice Jimin’s attention shift after a second or two, looking down at something amongst the covers next to him.  He picks up Yoongi’s pad and starts to leaf through it, his eyebrows rising slightly.

“You started writing tunes again hyung?”  You watch as Yoongi straightens up a little in his seat, looking slightly embarrassed.  

“A little, yeah.  It's nothing impressive.”  

“Don't be so modes,” you chide, “He's been talking to an MC - he wants to see more of his stuff.”

“Really?” Jimin looks up, his eyes widening slightly now too as you nod and Yoongi shrugs.  “I mean, I can see why - these are good.  Better than the stuff your old stuff.”  

“That ‘stuff’ was written thirty years ago.”

“Take the compliment, dick,” Jimin retorts and you snort a laugh, almost choking on your toast at the affectionate banter being exchanged between the two of them.  Yoongi smiles cockily and Jimin returns it, giving his head a little shake and then turning his attention back to you. “What about you? Do I get to see how good you've gotten?”  You pause, toast halfway to your already open mouth.

“You want to see me play?”

“Of course.”  You glance at Yoongi who smiles reassuringly, shifting over on the stool to make room for you.  Suddenly you feel a bit nervous; before now the only people who’ve ever seen you play are Yoongi and your parents.  What if Jimin thinks you’re no good?  That’d be so embarrassing - though you’re not sure he’d ever tell you even if he did think that.

Slowly, you put down your toast and climb off the bed, walking over to the piano where Yoongi is waiting.  He touches your back briefly in a little gesture of encouragement, leaning closer to whisper in your ear which song you should play.  He the suggests the tune you’d been learning as a duet until very recently, and though you know it’s your best piece you still hesitate for a moment before playing your fingers on the keys.  

“Go on, gongjunim, ” Yoongi whispers, prompting you with another gentle brush of his fingers against the small of your back.  Sufficiently coaxed, you start to play, trying hard to focus on the melody rather the weight of Jimin’s eyes.  

Soon enough you’re concentrating so hard on the movement of your fingers that it’s almost easy to forget everything else around you, allowing yourself to get lost in the music.  You make the odd mistake here and there, but where once you would’ve gotten frustrated and given up now you bolster and carry on.  You’re fairly certain that unless you intimately knew the piece - like Yoongi and you do - you wouldn’t haven even picked up on the way you missed a note, or played that one part just a little too fast.   

At some point you feel Jimin come to stand behind you, watching you play from over your shoulder, and by the time you finish he’s got his hand in the back of your hair, trailing his fingers through the strands.  

“I’m not sure what to say,” he tells you once you’ve finished, swivelling a little in your seat to look at him, your knees touching Yoongi’s.  Now that you’re not playing anymore the nerves are suddenly back tenfold, especially he’s said something so vague.  What exactly does that mean?  Did he hate it so much that he can’t even think of a way to soften the blow?  “I’d expected you to be good after so many lessons, but that was… beautiful.”   

“Really?” you ask stupidly, cheeks flushing.  Jimin smiles sweetly at you, cocking his head to the side, eyes squinted.  

“Really.”  His hand slips from your hair to your upper back, rubbing gently between your shoulder blades, and at the same time you notice his other hand come to rest on the back of Yoongi’s neck.  Both yours and the elder boy’s eyes widen as Jimin and he come into contact, and though Yoongi gives him a somewhat questioning look he doesn’t pull away as Jimin’s thumb begins to rub lightly against his skin.  The younger boy doesn’t even seem to even acknowledge his slightly out of character behaviour, looking at Yoongi and carrying on as if it were the most natural thing in the world.  “You’re a good tutor.”  

“T-thanks.”  Yoongi’s voice is halting and uncertain, clearly caught off guard by the unexpected physical contact from his friend.  

“I’m very proud of you, kitten,” Jimin tells you, turning to face you again with a soft smile on his lips.  You feel your cheeks heat up all the more, your heart thudding hard when Jimin lifts his hand from your shoulder to push back your fringe tenderly, tucking hair behind your ear and pushing it from your shoulders to expose your neck.  His eyes trail from yours downward - your lips, your jaw, your throat - but when they get there they suddenly narrow, and for just a split second you can’t figure out why.  

Until you touch your neck, that is, and realise you’ve forgotten to put your collar back on, your skin still covered with marks Yoongi left behind.

“Where’s your collar?” Jimin asks quietly, his hands dropping from both Yoongi’s and your necks, “And what the hell are those?”  You swallow nervously as your eyes glance to Yoongi, looking for some backup but finding him looking just as sheepish, his eyes gaze cast downward.  “I… It got uncomfy.  I had a bad dream so I took it off and I just… forgot to put it back on.”  It sounds like a bad excuse rather than the honest truth it is, and Jimin seems to think the same, his jaw tensing as he inspects each mark with disdain.  

“And these?”  Your mouth flaps, no words coming out, far too flustered to form any kind of coherent reply.  Jimin knows what they are anyway, where they came from.  You’d kind of presumed that it wouldn’t matter, seeing as he’d given you his permission for everything else but… apparently you were mistaken.  His eyebrows lift as he waits for a reply but when one doesn’t come he simply sighs.  “You know I’m going to have to punish you now, don't you kitten?”

“You are?”

“I am.”  Abruptly, he pulls you up off the stool and gives you a gentle push toward the end of the piano, his eyes dark and licking his lips.  He's no longer the soft Jimin who was praising you just a minute ago.  No, the set of his jaw and the intimidating sensuality of his expression is all daddy, and it's he who growls at you to bend over before pulling down your leggings and underwear all in one, exposing your ass to the air.  “Ten,” he states, rubbing his palm against the curve one of your cheeks and then groping the flesh, hard, “Don't let go, and don't forget your safe word.”

He barely gives you any time to prepare yourself for the first blow; Jimin’s hand strikes smartly across your ass and makes you gasp at the sting, tipping forward onto your tip-toes. The second one comes just as quick, though this time on the opposite cheek, and as that one lands you suddenly remember that Yoongi is watching it all.  It makes the third one feel all the more humiliating as the sound of Jimin’s hand connecting with backside echoes around the room.  

Being punished is embarrassing enough, without it being carried out in front of someone else… and yet, somehow you find yourself revelling in the humiliation, arousal starting to pool in your core as you receive your fourth.  

Jimin pauses, giving you the smallest of respites to catch your breath, his own ragged with exertion.  He’s really not holding back, and you're glad of it.  

“Gonna spank you fucking raw, kitten, seeing as you like being marked so much,” he growls lowly, and judging by the strength behind his blows you're sure your ass is practically glowing red already, nevermind when you've taken even more.

There's a fifth and a sixth, always on alternating buttocks, and though you're gritting your teeth to hold back a moan through the seventh, you still seem to hear one.  It’s not a moan that belongs to you though, and neither does it belong to Jimin.  It came from Yoongi, groaned low in his throat, and when you turn your head you see him sat frozen in place at the piano, his eyes locked on yours as you receive the rest of your punishment.

You try to maintain eye contact even whilst you cry out, flinching with the remaining three strikes and grabbing onto the wood of the piano in desperation to hold on.  Yoongi's mouth is slightly open as he watches, the tip of his tongue just visible, and his eyes are so full of lust that the whole of you aches with just how badly you want him.  Him, or Jimin, or both.  At this point your mind is so flooded with desire that you really don't care.  

“You did well,” Jimin praises when it’s finally over, caressing you with both hands, “Such a good girl, taking your punishment like that.”  Your ass feels like it's on fire, throbbing even though he's being nothing but gentle, and you have to try not to whimper when he gives it one last light tap as he steps away from you.  You only realise once you’re standing yourself straight that you're soaking wet, your thighs sliding against each other as you bend to start pulling up your underwear and leggings.  

“Leave those off,” Jimin tells you before you've even gotten them past your knees, “And lay down.”  Nodding, you slip both articles of clothing all the way off and hurry towards the bed, your legs like jelly, and as you pass the stool where Yoongi's sat you notice how Jimin’s got his hand placed around the back of his neck again, his fingers threading up into the elder boy’s hair as his hungry eyes continue to watch you. “Other way around,” he prompts when you go to lie with your head amongst the pillows.  You change direction, crawling down to the foot of the bed, and as you do you can't help but notice the way Yoongi's staring at up at Jimin, tilting his head back into the other man's palm.  

What the hell is going on?  Since when has Jimin ever been so handsy with anyone else but you, and since when would Yoongi have ever been so accepting of it? As you roll over onto your back you catch a glimpse of Yoongi licking his lips before they both disappear from your sight, and the image of it has you clenching your legs together as you stare at the ceiling, lying there in nothing but your t-shirt.  

“How did you fuck her, Yoongi?”  Jimin’s voice soft but assertive, and simply the drop of the honorific after the older boy’s name tells you exactly the kind of mood the other is in; as if the earlier spanking hadn't been enough of an indicator.  There's a short silence in which neither of them speak and you're left biting your lip in anticipation of Yoongi’s reply, heart pounding in your chest.  

“Her leg was over my shoulder…” he answers, sounding a little breathless, and you hear Jimin ‘hmm’ in response.

“Is that right?”  The sound of Jimin's footsteps tell you that he's approaching the bed, your breath quickening too, and soon he's climbing on the bed and leaning over you, a smirk on his face.  “I want what I’m owed, kitten.”  

Obligingly, you spread your legs for him.  Jimin practically devours the sight of your glistening folds, his tongue running across his bottom lip as you lift your one leg in the air and hook it over his shoulder, smiling coyly.  

“Why don't we try for two?” he suggests huskily, grabbing onto your other leg and lifting that one over his other shoulder, too.  Jimin remains fully dressed until he has you where he wants you, tugging his sweats down to circle his thighs and in doing so freeing his cock that’s already weeping with the anticipation of being inside of you.  

“Daddy, I want it,” you whine breathily, using the leverage you have on his shoulders to lift your bottom from the mattress and nudge your folds against the head, trying to coax him inside.

“Didn't you make her cum, Yoongi?” Jimin asks, lifting his head to look at the other man still sat at the piano, his hips moving just enough to keep the tip nudging shallowly between your folds.

“Course I did,” Yoongi answers defiantly, and at that Jimin looks back down at you, a smirk on his face.  

“Is that true, kitten?” Looking up at him past your ankles you slowly nod, biting your lip and groaning when he pushes inside just an inch and then withdraws again.  “You're such a needy little slut.  How can you be so wet again already?  Cumming on Yoongi’s cock not enough for you?”

“It is, b-but I'm always-" you mewl as he sits back on his heels and spreads your pussy open with his thumbs, watching his own cock disappear inside you inch by inch, taking you so slowly that you want to scream. “I always want you.”  Again he withdraws before he's entered you fully and you just can't take it anymore, tugging on your hair and flexing your hips up from the bed.  “Please, fuck me, please daddy.”  

“I love hearing you beg,” he growls, something hot flickering across his gaze, “Keep it coming.”  

“Please, I want… I need you so much, please, daddy,” you acquiesce, clenching your pelvic floor around what little of his length is inside of you.  At the feel of you squeezing Jimin groans, incensed enough by your pleading and whining to fully enter you in one steady, slow thrust.  

“Fuck,” he snarls, though you barely hear him over the sound of your own whimpering.  Your hips are twisting restlessly, wiggling your backside against his lower abdominals, and Jimin grabs onto your thighs to render you motionless.  “Keep still.  This isn’t for you, it’s for me.  You’ll get what you’re given, nothing more.”  He stares down at you, almost like he’s challenging you to backtalk him, completely still save for the twitch of his cock you feel inside you when you bite your bottom lip and obediently nod.  

Does he really expect you not to enjoy this?  Just the feel of him inside you and the way in which he’s speaking is enough to have your core throbbing with pleasure; nevermind how much you love knowing that Yoongi is watching too.  

Jimin slides his hands from your thighs upwards, along your calves till he’s gripping your ankles, and all the while his hips are starting to move, sliding himself in and out of you slowly, pressing his plushy lips together and then licking them when he looks down to watch himself fuck you.  

“Yoongi, you should see how pretty her pussy looks taking my cock,” he says to his elder, lifting his eyes from your core to look straight past you into the eyes of the boy sat somewhere behind you.  You hear Yoongi’s clipped exhale and it’s enough to make your walls clench again, pleasure jolting down your spine.  “I’m not gonna be able to hold back if you keep doing that.”  Jimin glances down at you as he gives one particularly hard thrust, but then his eyes are back to Yoongi and he’s licking his lips, his head listing lazily to the side.  

God, you wish you could see what he’s seeing;  what’s Yoongi doing back there to make Jimin look so lustful?  Is he touching himself, watching Jimin fuck you?  Is his cock out, encircled by Yoongi’s long, skilful fingers?  You can’t help but clench again, tipping your head back into the sheets.  It’s such a sexy image, and that combined with the feel of Jimin’s cock inside you is almost more than you can bear.  

You hear Jimin growl, his grip on your ankles tightening as he pulls your legs apart, spreading them into a wide ‘V’ up in the air, no longer resting on his body.  

“I warned you, kitten.”  

He most certainly did, but nothing could have prepared you for the savagery of the way he starts pounding into you now.  He slams into you at breakneck speed, each thrust as hard as the last, the position that you’re in allowing Jimin to get deeper inside than he’s ever been before, and you’re grabbing onto the sheets and moaning like a whore as he fucks you.  

“Fuck,” Jimin curses breathlessly, the seat of his lap slapping against your ass, short fingernails digging into your ankles, “I love this fucking pussy.  Gonna fill it so full of my cum, fuck.”  

“Please,” you whine, feeling your orgasm starting to build in the depths of you.  You can already tell it’ll be a good one, one that’ll leave your head reeling with it’s intensity, and you chase after it, trying to push back against him as best you can in such a restrictive position.  

“You ready, kitten?  You ready for daddy’s cum?”  he groans, sweat beading on his forehead, and you can feel his cock swelling inside you, ready to spill his load but you’re not ready, not yet, close but not quite there.  

Jimin lets go of your ankles to grab onto your hips as he slams into you one last time with a feral groan, stuffing himself as deep as possible and holding you there as he cums inside of you.  You can feel it spilling out hot against your walls, his cock throbbing and pulsing, and there’s so much of it that it just keeps coming and coming as he throws his head back, groaning out your name.  

You’re whimpering as Jimin comes down from his high, his head tilting forward again to look down at you with a satisfied smirk on his face.  He knows you didn’t cum but does nothing to try and help you finish, simply slips his softening cock out of you and climbs off the bed, pulling up his sweats as you lie there trying not to tremble.  You’re wound so tight you feel like you could cry, your pussy aching with how empty it feels - from how badly you need to cum - and your hands start to drift down towards your core almost all of your own accord, desperate to try and bring yourself some relief if Jimin won’t.  

“Don’t you dare,” Jimin threatens, pulling your hand away from your clitoris and using his grip on your wrist to pull you up to sit upright.  You can feel his cum start to leak from you just from the shift in position, and feeling it sully your thighs and pool underneath you on Yoongi’s sheets only turns you on all the more.  

Jimin walks away from the bed and over to Yoongi, ignoring your pleading eyes and slipping his hand into the other boy’s hair.  

“Look what you’ve done, kitten.”  Yoongi looks wrecked, his lips swollen, eyes hooded, leant back against the piano with his legs spread wide open, palming himself through his sweats.  “Show her,” he prompts, and Yoongi’s hungry eyes flick from you to Jimin, his lips parting slightly as he follows the others instruction and pulls down his pants down enough to let his cock spring free.  

It’s so hard, so angry and red, and Yoongi’s practically shaking as he tries to resist touching himself, cock twitching and bobbing against his stomach.  

“Yoongi…” you murmur under your breath, biting your lips to ribbons trying to fight the urge to go over there and climb on top of him - to ride him until you reach the orgasm you so desperately crave.  Jimin, however, appears to have other ideas.  

He leans over Yoongi and takes his friend’s cock in his hand with no prior warning, wrapping his palm around it as comfortably as you’ve seen him do so many times to his own.  He starts to stroke him gently, slowly, smirking at the shell-shocked look on Yoongi’s face and then leans close to whisper something in the other boy’s ears.  Yoongi looks like he doesn’t know what to do with himself, his hands hovering in mid-air, eyes wide, breath escaping in short, staccato pants as Jimin touches him.  

The sight of it has you moaning untouched and wanting nothing more than to go over there and join the two of them.  Yoongi’s eyes meet yours when he hears the sound, and when he sees how you’re enjoying watching Jimin’s slow ministrations he finally seems to relax into it, his shoulders sagging and hips beginning to push upward into Jimin’s hand, eyes falling closed.  

“See what you’ve done to your oppa,” Jimin says, his voice low and silky smooth, calling your attention back to him.  He starts to handle Yoongi’s cock a little more roughly, drawing a strangled moan from the elder boy. “I think you owe him an apology.”

“S-sorry, oppa,” you stutter out, so aroused it feels like your whole body is burning from the inside out.  

“You want to fuck her, don’t you?”  Jimin asks the boy he’s standing over, and you can tell by the way Yoongi’s breath catches that Jimin must have just tightened the grip of his hand.  

“Yes.  God, yes, please.”  Yoongi sounds just as shameless as you did earlier and you hope with every fibre of your being that Jimin will take mercy on the both of you.  When Jimin chuckles darkly that hope is quickly extinguished.  

“Then you better not put your filthy mouth on her again, you hear?” Jimin snarls, tugging on the other boy’s cock so hard that it must be giving him just as much pain as it is pleasure.  Yoongi doesn’t seem to mind though; he lets out a whine the likes of which you’ve never heard from him before, his eyes locked with Jimin’s dark ones.  He reaches up to touch Jimin’s hip, skirting the edge of his t-shirt like he wants to slip his fingers underneath.  “I’m the only one that gets to mark her.   Mine. ”

“Yes,” Yoongi agrees, nodding submissively, clearly willing to go along with anything whilst Jimin’s hand is doing what it’s doing.

“I think you owe me an apology too, boy. ”  

“S-sorry.”  Jimin flicks his wrist and Yoongi’s head falls back, moaning prettily, “Shit! Sorry, Sir, I’m sorry.   I won’t - ah - I won’t d-do it again.”  

“That’s right, you won’t.”  Abruptly Jimin let’s go of Yoongi’s cock, letting it slap back against the other boy's stomach as he straightens up, leaving the other panting and looking at him helplessly, chest heaving.  “Neither of you get to cum today,” he tells you both, his eyes shifting between you and Yoongi cooly, seemingly unaffected by the pathetic states he’s left you both in.

“Don’t make me punish you both like this again.”  

[eerythingisshaka]

The Coffee Prince Pt. 1

Word Count: 2.6K

T’Challa x Reader

Plot:  Stuck in your ways of living, one day at the coffee shop, you run into a tall dark roast that threatens to wake you up from your romantic hibernation.

You are a notorious homebody; your laptop, bed, and streaming sites are all you need make a Friday night litty titty and you took pride in your introversion.  Growing up, school is all about who you know, what clique you are a part of, what parties you get invited to, clothes you wear, etc.  It was tiring on your psyche back then, and some complexes had formed due to all of that keeping up the the jones’ crap.  Nobody has time for that when you’re an adult, so you fully enveloped your true hermit lifestyle.  Then this nigga comes along, 6’0, adorable accent, beautifully crafted body draped in the finest clothes. Intelligent, with a crooked smile that could light a fire underwater.  

Y’all first met in line waiting to get coffee.  You had your headphones in, common defense to make sure no one fucks with you on a regular basis.  Once you made your order, you stood off to the side waiting for you order.  He was next but when the barista had a look on her face that was completely confused and more than annoyed.  You let one earbud hang as this intrigued you, especially since this was a white barista and a Black man at a Starbucks you had to make sure everything was cool, for the culture.  By the time you had an available ear, he was waving his hand at the exasperated worker and walking toward the area you stood.  

He looked at you for a moment as he made his way over, and you gave that tight smile that said ‘I am friendly but don’t expect anything more than this smile’, instinctively.  He nodded in your direction and stood about five feet from you.  

“Order for…..” the male barista squinting at his own writing.  “Uhhh, caramel macchiato, double shot?”

“That’s mine!  Thanks!”  you stepped up to the counter to pick up your drink, but checking him out your fellow patron in your peripheral.  You turn to take a quick sip and steal a glance at the same time, noticing him giving you a sideways smile before saying, “You too, huh?”

His accent caught you off guard for a second before you computed what he said.  It wasn’t hard to comprehend, but it’s very noticeable.

“Oh, yeah, I get this drink all the time.  Not like I’m here everyday, but…”

“Order for Thomas!” the male barista says loudly.

He walks up to the counter grabbing his cup.  He goes over to the side table to pick up some sugar, napkins, and a stirrer.  You follow picking up some napkins, before he begins again.

“I mean the barista; he has a problem reading your name.  He didn’t even try.”  He says as he add the sugar.

“Yeah, which could be a blessing or an insult.  But I’m used to it.”  You both share a sip of your caffeinated concoctions.

“But what was the problem with your name?  Was she not able to get past your accent or something?”

“What accent?”  He said, with a serious look.

You almost choke on your coffee when he said this.  What accent?  Did you just strike up a conversation with one of those people that went into a coma and woke up talking different?  You would get the cute and crazy type of nigga.

“Umm, I don’t know…” you stutter.

He looks away laughing to himself, “I’m only kidding.  My apologies for startling you.”  He says with a slight bow to you.

You nod in return to him, “It’s ok, I’m pretty damn gullible at times.  Good one!”

He smiles down at his cup, “Thanks, but my accent was not primary issue, no.  It was my name, like you.  So I just gave her the name Thomas to move things along.” he says bringing the cup to his mouth again.  You notice the length of his fingers…and no ring.

“Ah, I’m always nervous about giving a fake name.  Like, if they check my card and it isn’t the same they’ll question me or refuse service or something.”

“Oh, I didn’t think it would ever get that serious; it’s not a military base.”

You give a side eye, “How long have you been in America?”

He smiles, nodding, “I’m learning new things everyday.  But it’s been a little over a year now.”

“Are you from an African country?”

“Yes, a small village  near the central, eastern part.”

“Nice.  That’s so cool to know where you’re from, ancestrally.  It seems like everyone reps their set. But I still can’t get past the Southern states.”

He nods, checking his timepiece next to a beaded bracelet around his wrist.

“Oh, I’m sorry, if you need to be somewhere.  I’m not usually talkative with strangers.”

His mouth goes agape for a moment, “Well I don't think we could call ourselves strangers.  We are bonded by the oppression of our caffeine dealers who refuse to look us in the eye or remember our names.”  He holds his cup out and you meet his to cheers.  You feel a jolt when your finger brushes his.

“But I must confess that I do have other engagements to attend to, so please forgive me.”

“No, no problem at all, I’m needing to get back to the office.  But see you around!”  You do a quick about-face and walk away quickly after that, giving no time for a response.

Once you made it down the street, your heart palpitations start to subside but now the self deprecation begins.  Why did you talk so much?  And the worst part, all that conversation and you’re left with more questions than answers.  Where in Africa is he from?  What did he do for a living?  Him telling you he had a prior engagement was your way in!  OR would that have been too nosy?  No phone number, or an attempt to get one.  Y’all were highkey vibing and you got no questions in to gage his status or if he was willing to see you somewhere else.  And the biggest sin:  What the hell is his damn name?!  Thomas was a fake name. But the conversation never led to the real one, or yours.  You can’t even look him up!  And who the hell knows when you’ll see him again, so good job.

You text your friend when you get back to your office.

Girl!  I ran into this fiiiiine man at the coffee shop.

A few minutes later she responds,  Yaaaass!  Did you talk to him?

Child, yes. I don’t know what got into me.

Well hopefully him in a minute.  What did you say to him?

Lol, I thought he was being racially profiled so I am really in his business but it turns out the coffee girl couldn’t understand him.  He’s kind of foreign.

Oooh, that foreign though??  Where he reppin?

Somewhere in Africa, I didn’t get a country.

The motherland?  Was he wearing them sandals and shit?

I didn’t even notice! I feel like I would’ve if he was but idk.

Well which country is he from?

Idk!  I know I shoulda asked but I was caught up, not thinking straight.  

Well, is he light skinned with good hair or nah?

Ok, now don’t ask it like that.  He not light skinned but his hair was beautifully trimmed.

Ok, so he probably right on the equator then.  Well look at you, tryna get you an African King lol did you get the number though?

Noooo, so I don’t even know if I’ll see him again girl.  I fucked up!

Lmaooo, GIRL!  Well, don’t worry about it.  One thing about coffee shops is that they get regulars often so you’ll probably run into again but don’t be obsessive…

Truuuuue, if it’s meant to be, it will be.  I don’t get obsessive though.

Girl, you already planning your future for a practically imaginary relationship, I know you! Lol  Keep it together and live your life, but this was good practice for you.

Yeah it was.  I never approach guys but this was exciting!

You put your phone down and finish up your afternoon reports.  But the thought of “Thomas”  was still in the back of your brain.  He was soooo cute to you, but with your track record he could’ve easily been gay, taken, or just being nice with no other intentions.  But the universe owed you a win.  It had been so damn long since you had a thing to go to your friends about.  

At the end of your shift, you go straight home, kicking your shoes off at the door.

“Hey Tavia!”  You yell to your friend who is cooking something you wish was your meal in the kitchen.  Smells like some chicken or spaghetti thing.

“Wassup Queen Mother!  I was going to get rose petals but they too damn expensive for a joke.”

“Right, don’t try it!”

You make your way to your room, closing the door and taking a much needed breath.  You kick off your pants and and shirt, swan diving onto your bed in your undergarments.  The stress of the day just melts as you lay there and breath in your lavender and peppermint scented air from your oil diffuser.   You slowly peel yourself up from your covers and load up your laptop.  Checking your social media and queueing up some music as usual, you look around your room.  It’s completely cluttered with clothes from the week piled in the corner.  Your hamper is overflowing, as well as your trash.  Suddenly, you feel a sense of purpose, cleaning and straightening your hoarding mess.  When your shuffle hit a bop, the clean up became especially fun as you sang along and shook that thang as you picked through dirty clothes and maybe-one-more-wear clothes.  

Now that you have some order to your area, you have space that you didn’t have before.  Looking around with pride, you catch your reflection in the mirror, draws and all.  You touch your stomach, tracing the dark brown stretch marks that crack through your skin around your concave belly button.  Pushing down on your love handles, you iron out the folds to be smoother from your waist to your hips.  Your breasts are of a decent size as far as the numbers game goes, but the do not sit perkily in front of you, and a cleavage still takes effort to achieve since they sit apart from each other.  Dreadfully, you turn sideways to check your body from the profile.  Your belly hangs in front of you instead of flat like you’ve always prayed for since childhood.  The deep fold from your back to your side sneers at you.  Your ass isn’t non-existent but if only your waist was smaller, that could make those hips and cheeks really pop.

You had been giving yourself mantra pep talks on a regular basis to keep toxic thoughts from entering your brain.  You look up at the notes lining your walls.  “Keep your head up.”  “You are a Warrior.”  “You are beautiful.”  You get it, people have told you the same things before, it’s just hard to convince yourself that you're not imagining things.  

Your mind still wanders on about your day.  When would you see something that fine again?  And if you do, the fuck are you going to do about it?  You start up your shuffle of bops and make your way to your closet.  You were going to curate some outfits to be a dick magnet.  No way in hell there’d be a question of his interest once you see him again.  Go over some lines in your head to break the ice, figure out how to touch his bicep in mid-conversation, shit like that.  It would work, he knows who you are...facially anyway.  You just gotta run into him again.

Next day, you make your way out the door a little early.  Making your way to the office, you get a head start on making your calls so you can make your way to the coffeeshop.  You put on a navy blue pencil skirt with a gold zipper going down the back.  You layered a mesh lace blouse over a black cami and black pumps.  You usually stick to flats but today was the first of many for change.  If it wasn't “Thomas” someone was gonna get a look at this new fit!  Opening the door, the bell jingles, announcing our arrival to the patrons.  You look cooly over the people in the shop, but no one was there you care to see.  Making your way up to the counter, you make your order and stand to wait.  You pull out your phone to mindlessly entertain yourself for a minute, looking p periodically to survey people entering.  Every jingle of the bell made your heart jump.  

“Order for Tom!”

You look up a little too quickly but are disappointed when some balding white men in cargo shorts picks up his order.  You have had enough, you almost walked out right then when your order gets called: the order, not your name.  Nearly out of breath from stress, you pick up your drink and leave in a rush.  Breathing in the outside air, your heart rate begins to slow in pace again but you have got to get back to work.  Fuck that shop, and fuck this mission.  You already missed your chance so what is the point of it all.  Going back home, you have a cloud over your head.  You throw your clothes over to a pile on the side and flop onto your bed.  You deserve happiness, you deserve love, but don't get wrapped up in fantasy.

You still go to the coffeeshop the next day, but that was for a snack because you didn’t give yourself time to fix yourself breakfast.  Still no Thomas.

You don’t go back to the shop the rest of the week, You can’t go broke over a crush, plus, you had really no other reason to go so, you stopped.

By next week, you feel a lot better about yourself and your blood pressure isn’t skyrocketing at the thought of entering the shop anymore.  You didn’t go in depth with Tavia about your problems since meeting Thomas because even if she gave the perfect encouraging friend response, you’d die of embarrassment for feeling so caught up on nada.  She was only slightly right:  you lowkey obsessed over that 5 minute interaction and broke down the details or what you did right and wrong.  It was terrible, and you knew it, so no need to be reminded.

You got an email about a happy hour promo at the shop, so you decide to go cash that in.  It’s a Wednesday and it's been an especially trying week.  You need to wash your hair, so you have them pulled back in in two struggle braids.   Simple cardigan over a white tank and black slacks with your trademark flats.  You pick up your order and sit on a nearby stool to catch the free wifi signal and download your favorite podcast to listen to back at the office.  

“Order for Thomas!”

You are unphased and not listening when you get up and see this 6’0 man picking up his drink and turning towards you.  He makes his way to the side table, and your heart literally stops pumping for a split second from the anxiety.  He hasn't seen you yet and he could easily leave very soon without your acknowledgment,  What if he doesn’t recognize you?  The L’s you could take outweigh the dubs by a mile.

You get up to go get an unnecessary sugar packet.

“Excuse me,” you say.

He looks to you and gives you a crooked smile.

*Part 2*

Other Works:

King Kil’mawalls

N’Jadaka’s Helpful Hands

T’akia

Commencement Day (Chadwick Boseman fic)

Some Weeks Are Better Than Others -- *Part 1* *Part 2* *Part 3* (M’BakuxReader fic)

[will-iswriting-again]

Squish

Title: Squish

Fandom: Sander Sides

Pairing(s): Logicality

Genre: Angst with a happy ending

Word Count: 2564

Warning(s): Weight Mention

Tag List: @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch

Finally finished @lamp-calm-sanders fic, so sorry it took so long (I say knowing full well this is sadly the shortest amount of time it has ever taken me to write a fic, I am so sorry) (also spent like and hour trying to fix this because tumblr hates the copy paste option)  

~~~

Logan hadn’t always felt bad about his body. Logan hadn’t always looked at his chub with disdain or fantasized what it would be like to be skinny, he hadn’t always wondered what it would be like to not be fat. God, he hated that word, he hated it’s definition, the connotations it brought when he said it, he even hated the ugly way it seemed to roll off his tongue. But he hated that he hated his body even more. He knew he wasn’t unhealthy (He encouraged Thomas to eat healthily often and Logan was not much of a hypocrite) it was just how his body metabolized food and he understood that. He knew the other three loved him and his body but he still couldn’t stop the negativity he felt when he thought about it.

Like he said though, he hadn’t always hated his size, for most of his life the thoughts never dared cross his mind. He wasn’t really sure when they had started, when Thomas was younger he hadn’t minded his size, if anything he liked his body. And he knew the other sides had no problem. Roman didn’t really care, he could playfully quip with Logan no matter how skinny or fat he was. Virgil liked to act like it didn’t bother him but he secretly loved the comfort that came with Logan’s hugs that wouldn’t have felt the same if Logan were any skinnier (he had always taken pride in being the only one besides Patton who could calm the anxious trait down.) And Patton, of course, loved Logan’s size, when they were younger Patton would always gush about how adorable Logan was, calling Logan his favorite “squish.”

Squish (adj)- a way of describing someone who is smol (see card 37), loveable, and sometimes even physically squishy.

Logan pretended he thought it was annoying but he secretly loved the endearing nickname. A warm fuzzy feeling would erupt in his chest whenever Patton said it, his heart would swell and his cheeks would turn bright red (when he was older and could understand emotions better he defined this feeling as happiness.)

Happiness (n)- the state of feeling happy (showing or feeling pleasure/contentment)

But that all changed during Thomas’s teenage years. It had started off small, Thomas would watch a movie with his friends, the coined “fat kid” was always the butt of the jokes. Logan had brushed it off at the time, high school children were often harsh for the sake of it, there was nothing wrong with him, the cruelties of high school were to blame. Then Thomas’s chubbier friends would get picked on at school, Logan once again would brush it off as useless teenage bullying but now there was an inkling of doubt (what if they were right? What if he was the wrong one here, what if they were right) Then social media began to take off and everywhere Logan would people just like him endlessly picked on for no other reason than how big they were. They were accused of being lazy, fat, disgusting, unhygienic, unmotivated, wrong, bad, wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong

After careful data analysis and consideration Logan finally concluded that being fat was bad. If so many people hated it (hated him) then statistically it must be true. Fat was wrong, he was wrong.

If Logan was younger he would have talked to Patton or Virgil about it. He would have crawled in their beds and cried his feelings away until he felt better. He could’ve sobbed into Patton’s chest and laid his insecurities out as they cuddled in his bed. He could have leaned on Virgil’s shoulder as they watched rain trickle down the their windows, just enjoying the quiet content of it all. 

But it was too late for that, they had grown distant as Thomas had gotten older. Virgil was much more controlling during high school, he knew all the horrible things kids in school could do and he just wanted to protect Thomas from it all. But the other sides never thought that was the right way approach to high school and soon it became a constant war of Virgil vs. everyone else. So it hadn’t really surprised Logan when the other’s bickering had grown so tiresome for the anxious side that he had decided he was done with it all and retired to his room. Patton had been upset at first but Virgil could still do his job and he came out eat when he needed to so eventually Patton relented. By the time Thomas started making vines Logan had only seen Virgil a handful of times.

And Logan, too, had become more distant, Patton and Roman were too emotional most of the time (this was when he missed his left brain bro... the name was Virgil’s suggestion) and he did not have the time or energy to deal with them. He and Roman started disagreeing more often, Roman’s outlandish ideas sometimes overpowering any logical thought. Patton, of course, tried to bond with him every once in awhile but each time Logan would brush it off, so yeah, Logan was not in any position to ask any of them for help.

So he dealt on his own, and he was good at it. He learned to bottle his emotions up into this tiny spot in his chest and never touch them again. Using that method he could cope with all his issues without any negative connotations for Thomas. He was fine.

Until he wasn’t.

~~~

“This one’s for you Patton!” Thomas exclaimed, phone in hand. It was a late Tuesday night and they had yet again been subjected to Sides Q&A. “What’s your favorite cartoon?”

“Ooh! It’s so hard to choose,” Patton gushed. “But if I have to choose I’d saaaaaay, Steven Universe but Legend of Korra is always a close second.” Patton said with a grin. It’d been a bad day for Logan, nothing particular had happened it was just one of those really bad days where the mirrors seemed to distort his image until he felt like he was looking at an ugly monster. It was one of those day where he didn’t want anyone to see him, it made him feel open and vulnerable and he couldn’t deal with that right now.  It was just one of those days where he just wanted to lay in his bed and hide under the covers until the sun went away. But life was never exactly kind to Logan when exactly kind when he wanted it to be.

“Virgil, in your opinion, who gives the best hugs?” Thomas queried, breaking Logan from his train of thought.

“I don’t really have many options considering Patton’s the only one who hugs me but I guess I’d say Patton,” Virgil said, bitterness from his years of exclusion leaking through. Pain pierced through Logan’s heart, he used to be Virgil’s favorite hugger.

Longing (n)- a yearning desire for what once was or what could be

“I will make an effort in the future to engage in more comforting physical contact.” Logan managed to squeeze out of his chest, stoic as ever, determined to hide the swell of emotions threatening to break the surface.

“As will I!” Roman declared. “I shall become the best hugger you have ever seen Virgil dear.” Virgil rolled his eyes but everyone could see the light blush that dusted his cheeks.

“Ah! Here’s another one for Logan,” Thomas interrupted. “What’s your favorite vocabulary card?” The interests of the other three perked up. It seemed like Logan had hundreds of cards and they’d only seen a handful.

”There are many that I’ve grown fond of but at this time my favorite is Extra.” Logan replied, flipping the card out from his back pocket.

Extra (adj)- Someone who is over the top, flamboyant or dramatic when it is not necessary

“It was not only one of the easier ones to learn but it is also an adequate insult for Roman.” He said with a mischievous smirk. Roman feigned an affronted gasp.

“I’ll let you know,” He cried, hand over his heart “I take that as a compliment.” He said dramatically and sniffled.

“See, case in point. You are extra.” Logan said, pointing at him, earning a chuckle from Virgil and another gasp from Roman. Thomas chuckled but pulled up another ask.

“This one’s for all of you,” He said. “Who do you all think is the hottest?” Immediately, they all jumped in, putting in their thoughts.

“Noooo, I can’t choose we’re all beautiful.” Patton said in distress eyes bouncing to all of them wildly.

“Oh it’s me of course,” Roman said gallantly, striking a pose.

“Why are you forcing us to choose who is what society expects to be ‘hot?’”Virgil asked, shaking his head. 

“I hate to say it, but I do agree with Roman,” Logan spoke up and everyone paused to stare at him, even Thomas, Logan rarely agreed with Roman, much less on frivolous things such as this. “While you all are beautiful in your own way, Roman is the only one who fits the societal version of a hot version and actively tries to maintain this image.” No one spoke for a moment, the air tense and uncomfortable. Everyone was staring at Logan like he’d just grown two more heads, he looked away, not used to so much attention on him at once. Finally, Patton broke the silence.

“You mean, we are all beautiful, you forgot yourself.” He whispered and Logan tensed, Patton was the type of person who just sort of knew when someone wasn’t feeling like themselves and Logan didn’t want Patton to know right now.

Intuition (n)- the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning

“Yes, yes, of course, merely a slip of the tongue,” Logan lied, his fingers tapping on his wrist to the beat of his nervous heart rate. “However, this question was shallow and I’d prefer not to take part in ones like these again, therefore I shall be going. Goodbye everyone.” He sunk out as quick as he could, he could hear the others saying their goodbyes and following behind him as he willed all his strength into not sprinting into his room and collapsing into his bed.

“Hey, Logan,” Virgil mumbled from behind, managing to catch him in the commons. “Umm.. sleep well.” He said, smiling softly, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. It may not have seemed like much but Logan knew it was so much more, when he was ready he would go to Virgil and finally talk about what was bothering him but he wasn’t ready yet and Virgil understood that.

With that comforting thought, he finally made it into his room and collapsed on the bed, the metaphorical damn breaking as his chest seemed to cleave in two, silent tears leaking out as he curled in on himself, bringing his knees to his chest. But he surprisingly didn’t feel particularly bad, there wasn’t any of the usual uncomfortable ball of sadness weighing on his chest, instead there was nothing. But he didn’t feel good either. It wasn’t like the weight had been lifted, it seemed more like a pleasant numbing. If he was being honest, he didn’t really feel anything at all.

He could deal with that, not feeling was fine, Logan was perfectly okay with not feeling. It probably wasn’t healthy but it was something different from the aches that usually plagued him everyday and Logan could use every break he could get. Patton, on the other hand, was not fine with that and chose a very poor time to barge into Logan’s room.

“Hey, kiddo, I noticed you were feeling down earlier and wanted to know if-” Patton paused, noticing the strange emptiness of the room. “Logan?” Logan didn’t move, laying still in his void of nothingness, he wanted Patton to go away and take all his feelings with him, Logan did not need them right now, he couldn’t breathe when they were there and needed them to leave.

“Oh honey,” Patton cooed and hurried over to the bed to sit next to Logan, his hand resting soothingly on Logan’s knee. “Is this about the Q&A question earlier?” Logan hesitantly nodded numbly, staring right past Patton. It was useless lying to Patton, he’d pester Logan until he confessed if he didn’t.

“I-I was not feeling my best.” He managed to mumble, the salty sensation of his tears shocking him closer to reality.

“Why?” Patton asked softly.

“It.. reminded me that I-I do not have a.. d-desirable body type.” He said slowly and Patton frowned.

“Is it because you’re chubbier than us?” Patton asked and Logan nodded again, more tears flowing as a silent sob wracked through him. Patton frowned and turned to face the crying boy. “You know that your size has nothing to do with your beauty right?” Logan paused.

“B-But it does,” Logan said earnestly. “I have looked over so much data, and the data shows that fat people are ugly. So I must be ugly... It’s only logical thinking.” He trailed off at the end, looking away from Patton and focusing on a tiny speck of dust in his covers.

“Can you sit up kiddo? I want to prove you wrong.” Patton said after a moment, an unidentifiable look in his eyes. Logan frowned but relented, sitting cross legged across from Patton, who smiled and poked his arm.

“See these arms? You may only see flab, but I see that these arms are the same arms that give the best hugs in the mindscape, even Virgil will agree with me on this one.” Patton lightly squeezed his arm and Logan rolled his eyes.

“And this tum?” Patton lightly pinched a bit of fat around his stomach. “This is the cutest tum I have ever seen. Even if you don’t think so.” He gave Logan a quick tickle as Logan giggled slightly and squirmed away.

“And you said your body isn’t hot? Well we must be talking about different people because Logan baby those hips do not lie.” Patton whistled, gaining a small chuckle from Logan. “You are perfect just the way you are Logan, your size is beautiful and just the right size for you. Your size is a part of who you are, you wouldn’t be my favorite squish without it.” The childhood nickname sent Logan over the edge as he launched himself into Patton’s arms, sobbing as Patton cupped Logan’s head against his shoulder. He let years of anguish and self loathing overflow as he clung to Patton like a frightened child. Patton calmingly shushed him and whispers words of kindness into his ears as they fell back against Logan’s bed, content in each other’s arms.

Logan knew he’d always have bad days. He knew there would be times where he couldn’t stand to look in a mirror. There would be days he’d want to hide away and never let anyone in but he knew Patton and the other sides would always be there for him and in that moment, for Logan, that was enough.

Also, Logan lied, extra was not his favorite vocabulary word.

Squish (adj)- a way of describing someone who is smol (see card 37), loveable, and sometimes even physically squishy. (i.e Logan)

[lilmamaash]

1. Last beverage:

water

2. Last phone call:

my best friend hehe

3. Last song you listened to:

All I want - Kodaline

4. Last time you cried:

last night, because i’m simpin lmao

5. Have you dated someone twice:

yes, kinda

6. Have you ever been cheated on:

yes

7. Kissed someone & regretted it:

yessss

8. Have you lost someone special:

yes

9. What are your three favorite colors:

pink, mauve, dusty rose/nude, lilac, white, black

10. Met someone who changed you in the past month:

yes, a boy on tinder lol

11. Kissed anyone on your friends list:

yes

12. How many kids do you want:

4-6 LOL

13. Do you want any pets:

yessss, dogs forsure

14. Do you want to change your name:

yes, my last name when i get married

15. What did you do for your last birthday:

went to soju belly LOL

16. What time did you wake up today:

i can’t remember, i sleep throughout the day.

17. Name something you CANNOT wait for:

to love and finally have that love reciprocated

18. Last time you saw your mother:

earlier before i went to target

19. Most visited webpage:

snapchat or insta

20. Nicknames:

ash

21. Relationship status:

single as fuck

22. Zodiac sign:

capricorn

23. Male or female:

f

24. Height:

4"11

25. Do you have a crush on someone:

yes, i do lolol

26. Piercings:

like 13? some are taken out though.

27. Tattoos:

7!

28. Strong or Weak:

depends on the situation

FIRSTS

29. First surgery:

kindergarten, i broke my arm lmao

30. First best friend:

jenn, nika, tiff, kat, etc

31. First sport you joined:

ballet, if that counts

32. First vacation:

prob vegas for my 10th bday lmao

33. First school:

post elementary

34. First pair of trainers:

i wore my first training bra in like 3rd grade LMAO and i got made fun of and i cried.

WHICH IS BETTER

35. Lips or eyes:

eyes

36. Hugs or kisses:

depends on which person LMAO

37. Shorter or taller:

taller, but i’m short so it doesn’t really matter.

38. Older or younger:

older preferably, but if younger by maybe 1-2 years but not any younger.

39. Romantic or spontaneous:

doesn’t matter as long as i’m with who i wanna be with

40. Sensitive or loud:

sensitive

41. Hook-up or relationship:

relationship

42. Shy or outgoing:

doesn’t matter, as long as we vibe

HAVE YOU EVER

43. Kissed a stranger:

yes, when i was drunk lmao

44. Gotten a speeding ticket:

yes smh LOL

45. Lost glasses/contacts:

contacts forsure, they get stuck on my acrylics without me knowing LOL

46. Sex on first date:

no

47. Broken someone's heart:

doubtful

48. Been arrested:

no

49. Have you turned someone down:

yes

50. Fallen for a friend:

nooo

51. Moved out of town:

not yet, maybe in the future

BELIEVE IN

52. Miracles:

yesssss, i do believe in them

53. Love at first sight:

i believe that a person can fall in love with the connection at first sight, yes lol living it firsthand right now

54. Heaven:

yes

55. Santa Claus:

no, my family was too poor for that lmao

56. Kiss on the first date:

i don’t see anything wrong with it, as long as you feel like there’s a second date too!!!

57. Angels:

yes, my denise esp <3

58. Yourself:

learning

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY

59. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time:

nope

60. Been in love with someone you couldn't be with?:

def lmao

61. Ever cheated on somebody:

nooo

62. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?:

childhood, i would try to remember more of it

63. Are you afraid of falling in love:

never, only afraid of not being loved back

64. Was your last relationship a mistake?

like bf/gf? or just interest in someone? cause if so, no. just wish things could’ve been different. wish we could start over.

65. Do you miss your last relationship?

i miss the last guy i was interested in, yes.

66. Who did you last say “i love you” to?

my best friend, jenn hehe

67. Have you ever been depressed?

basically my whole life

68. Are you insecure?

def, isn’t everyone

69. How do you want to die?

peacefully and painlessly lol

70. Do you bite your nails?

if i don’t have acrylics, cause i have anxiety, thats why i have fake nails to prevent it

71. When was your last physical fight?

it’s been a while LOL

72. Do you have an attitude?

guilty

73. Twirl or cut your spaghetti?

twirl

74. Do you tan a lot?

i used to lol

75. Ever eaten food in a car while someone or you are driving?

yessss lol

76. Ever made out in a bathroom?

noooo hahah

77. Would you take any of your exes back?

the last guy i was interested in, yes.

78. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

yes

79. What are your plans for this weekend?

bitch, we in quarantine.

80. Do you type fast?

yes

81. Can you spell well?

yes, most times.

82: What are you craving right now?

someone’s attention

83. Have you ever been on a horse?

nooo lol

84. Would you live with someone without marrying them?

yes

85. What’s irritating you right now?

i miss someone a lot but i’m too stupid and emotional and i fucked it up

86. Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts?

yes

87. Does somebody love you?

hopefully lmao my friends and family

88. Have you ever changed clothes in a car?

yes hahaha

89. Milk chocolate or white chocolate?

milk!

90. Do you have trust issues?

no, and i think that’s my problem. but i also do get defensive if someone doesn’t text me back/open my snaps but their score is going up lolol so take it as you will

91. Longest relationship?

n/a

92: Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you?

a don’t have an ex

93. Have you ever walked outside in your PJs?

always LMAO idgaf

94. Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

i try to

95. Did you have dream last night?

yeah and i cried cause it felt so real

96. Have you ever been out of state?

yes

97. Do you play the Wii?

i used to have one!

98. Do you like Chinese food?

yesssss

99. Are you afraid of the dark?

YES LOL

100. Is cheating ever okay?

never wtf

101. What year has been your best?

i can’t even remember, but maybe 2017

102. Do you believe in true love?

yes, i think so.

103. Favorite weather?

cold cold cold, winter forever pls

104. Do you like the snow?

love it

105. Do you like the outside?

depends lmao

106. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

love ittttt

107. Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight?

with breaks in between

108. What makes you happy?

my loved ones

109. Ever been to Alaska?

no, but maybe one day!

110. Ever been to Hawaii?

no :(

111. Do you watch the news?

no, i don’t lol i prob should

112. Do you love MTV?

back in the day LMAO

113. Do you like subway?

yessss, i love sammiches

114 Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

no, but i wouldn’t care to

115. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

been there, done that, we’re still friends

116. Why did you decide to do this quiz?

because i’m bored as fuck in quarantine and i miss this shit lowkey LMAO

117. Have you ever seen someone you knew and purposely avoided them?

always, i’m very shy and weird like that

118. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

yesssss, i’m v grateful

119. Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

the guy that i miss lmfao

120. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

my best friends, myself lol

121. Ever bought condoms?

no haha

122. Ever gotten pregnant?

never

123. Have you ever slipped on ice?

yessss, at work being a bobarista LMAO

124 Have you ever missed the bus?

yessss, in eighth grade, i had to take naother bus home, it was fucking scary LOL

125. Have you left the house without money?

yessss

126. Have you ever smoked cigarettes?

used to :(

127. Have you ever smoked a cigar?

noooo, sounds gross

128. Did you ever drink alcohol?

bitch plssssss

129. Did you ever watch “The Breakfast Club”?

yes!

130. Have you ever been overweight?

all my lifeeee, 4″11 gang

131. Ever been to a wedding?

yes, i fucking love weddings!!

132. Ever been in a wedding?

yes, kinda lol i was shy tho as the flowergirl

133. Have you ever been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

yesss, more so back then.

134. Did you ever watch TV for 5 hours straight?

yessss, binge watching everything.

135. Ever kissed in the rain?

yesss, it’s not as romantic as you’d think LMAO

136. Did you ever shower with someone else?

as kids, not w a lover

137. Did you ever fail a driver’s test?

nope, never

138. Ever been outside your home country?

no

139. Ever been on a road trip longer than 5 hours?

yesss, lake tahoe

140. Ever been to a professional sports game?

i don’t think so

141. Have you ever broken a bone?

yesss, my arm in kindergarten

142. Did you ever win a trophy in your life?

like a medal LOL

143. Ever get engaged?

nope, hopefully one day

144. Have you ever been on a diet?

i’ve tried many times

145. Have you ever been on TV?

no

146. Ever ridden in a taxi?

yessss, vegas baby

147. Ever been to prom?

yesss, junior and senior year hehe

148. Ever stayed up for 24 hours or more?

yesss crack head hours

149 Have you ever been to a concert?

so manyyyyy

150. Have you ever had a crush on someone at work?

never LMAO

151. Have you ever been in a car accident?

yes, i wasn’t driving tho

152. Ever had braces?

never 

153. Did you ever learn another language?

nope

154. Do you wear make-up?

usually every day LOL

155. Did you ever have your wisdom teeth taken out?

neverrrr

156. Did you ever kiss someone a different race than yourself?

yesss lol 

157. Ever dyed your hair?

too many times

158. Did you ever wear someone else’s clothes?

yessss

159. Ever ridden in an ambulance?

no

160. Ever ridden in a helicopter?

no

161. Ever caught the stove on fire?

no

162. Ever meet someone famous?

many people

163. Ever been on an airplane?

never

164. Ever been on a boat?

yes and i get seasick as fuck

165. Ever broken something expensive?

LOL, i’m sure of it

166. Did you ever kiss someone before you were 14?

no, my first kiss was at 15 i believe

167. Did you ever find something valuable on the ground?

a pack of cigs LMAO or the $100 bill my friend accidentally dropped and we finally found it like an hour later

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #67

“i wanna grow up, i wanna be, a big rockin’ roll star!”

did you pay attention to anything you were being taught in health class?  i always listened, yeah, but it scared me a lot because my anxiety around that time was mostly health-focused. i was afraid i was going to get everything somehow lmao. what are your feelings regarding shopping?  i like shopping for myself, but not for vitals. like grocery shopping, nah man. shopping for stuff like clothes, bueno. do you think people have any misconceptions about you? i'm not certain about many things, but i am certain about that. have you ever worn fishnets? no, but dey sexy. do you go somewhere to get your eyebrows done? occasionally i'll go to get them done, and the woman who does them is actually my hairdresser. do you believe prayer really works? boy, isn't this relevant to some things going on... the answer is, i don't know, but i'm leaning towards "only if god for whatever fucking reason deems you more worthy than someone else who's prayed for something for a fucking year but i don't want her to have that." the people whose prayers come true just seem so fucking cherry-picked. do you have one best friend who is always there for you? apparently not. only when she agrees my issues are "valid." describe one of your most emotional farewells. well, the one that affected me the most was certainly when jason left, but it wasn't the most emotional in that moment of all my farewells. the one i would define as most emotional was when my lizard shadow died. he was old (i had him most of my life) and wasn't moving much, but i finally realized he was dying. it was so. fucking. slow. and he was obviously in agony the last day (yes, this shit lasted days), as he kept writhing and opening his mouth to gulp in air... oh my god, i don't even like talking about it. i sobbed and sobbed and talked to him so much, and any time i sat by his cage, he always looked at me. he was such a sweet little boy. have you ever been tied up? no. i really don't know how i'd feel about that. how many times have you been cussed out? online, PLENTY. irl, i only remember one occasion. does it bother you when people ask personal questions? who's asking? do you know anyon​e who’​​​​s been in jail? i do. have you ever considered acupuncture? noooo. have you ever watched the same sex undress? she undressed in front of me, but i didn't watch her. have you ever seen the last person you kissed cry? i've seen him tear up, but never totally cry. have you ever seen your mom or dad drunk? my dad's a recovering alcoholic, so i saw him drunk a lot. i'm pretty sure i've seen mom drunk once, but she denies being drunk. do you enjoy mario games? not particularly, but i mean, i'd play something like mario kart for family fun. do you think that necessities should be free? (ex. food, toilet paper) hm. debatable. does it bother you when dogs lick you? no, unless they're licking my face. do you feed your pets human food? occasionally. which is worse: being sexist or racist? oh jeez. do you think suicide is selfish? i mean, yeah, it is, but if this makes sense, it's not a damnable kind of selfish? like you truly are thinking about yourself and not how it would affect others, but sometimes, y'know, you need to think about yourself. i'm not saying suicide is ever necessary, but i understand why it happens. would you take a dirty picture of yourself for someone you are dating? heh, probably. what are the most embarrassing songs in your itunes library? lmao i think i have one taylor swift song. OMG I DO IT'S "PICTURE TO BURN" KILL ME. how picky are you when it comes to choosing who to kiss or not kiss? VERYVERYVERY. i have to be sincerely interested in you. do you feel that having sex anywhere but a bed is more exciting? i'm sure you've heard this enough in my surveys, but never had sex, done sexual things. but i mean sure, doing things in places other than the bed was usually more fun, but i ALWAYS felt way, WAY more vulnerable and paranoid. in your opinion, is it ever okay to get back with an ex? of course it is. people change/learn. what's the first animal you go to see at the zoo? it would be a meerkat if my zoo still had them, buuut... what's the strangest or rarest creature you've seen at a zoo? a white (not albino) alligator! o: what animal is at a zoo that really, in your opinion, shouldn't be? oh, i'm sure there's many if i was more knowledgeable about this subject. do you like zoos or aren't you bothered? i have mixed emotions. i offer you a cigarette, you say... "no thanks." why do you think you were put on this earth? i go back and forth between god planned me very intricately and uniquely to my parents just decided they wanted a kid. is it ever okay to hit a child? when is this? NO. YOU DO NOT. TEACH YOUR CHILD. THROUGH FEAR. do you think violence in video/computer games influences the nation also? oh boy, this question. no. it doesn't. pretty sure we didn't have video games since humanity began, and we've had violence since the start. are you in any shape or form, racist? no, i'm not. are you in any shape or form, sexist? no, i'm not. how do you think the world will end? the world itself, or humanity? humanity will end whenever god feels like it. the earth itself, well, i guess if it explodes somehow. what natural phenomenon do you find the most beautiful? WHAAAAAAT, I HAVE TO PICK ONE?! would you kill someone who killed a child? how about YOUR child? i know without a doubt you killed a child, mine especially, i kill you. what is your favorite cover of a song? "hurt" by johnny cash. bar none. have you ever been in love with someone who was fatally ill? holy fuck, thank god no. have you ever received or given a make-over? ... oh god... yeah... i gave jason a make-over lmfao and got him to pose for a picture after like 30 minutes of pestering him. i'd show the picture, but i have too much respect for him ha ha ha. do you know anyone who is HIV+? not to my knowledge. have you ever been to a desert? nope. do you know any trans* people? not irl what is your favorite beatles song? "hey jude." i'm honestly not a big beatles fan whatsoever. what is the poorest you have ever been? probably now, really... i'm sure you know of the gamer fad on youtube. who's your favorite? markiplier! is there something written on your shirt right now? "we're all mad here" what is your favorite song to play on guitar hero or rock band? "king nothing" by metallica!! \m/ where do you find the surveys you take? as of right now, i've been getting my surveys from a lad over at livejournal who has a good 2k surveys stockpiled up. i'll occasionally pick some up from tumblr, too. if i'm truly desperate, i'll just google search and find random webpages. what's one weird/annoying thing your pet(s) tend to do? OMGGGGGG YAAAAAAA'LLLLLL. okay so my dog teddy has this super weird habit of, totally out of the blue, trying to climb onto me and lie directly over my face. like i have to physically hold him back to stop him, and he still fights against me to try and get on me. i haven't the slightest idea why he does it, but it's super annoying... i always have to bring him to his room so he'll stop and calm down. what's your favorite song by your favorite artist?  YOU SHOULD NOOOOT BE ASKING ME THIS QUESTION OH GOD. i have a very, very difficult time picking favorite songs. i'll go through my fave artists regardless though and try... ozzy osbourne: probably "trapdoor." metallica: oh god. uhhh. "king nothing," i assume. otep: eeeeek!! i really, really love "special pets" and "apex predator" like the same!! marilyn manson: yikes. errr. "heart-shaped glasses," maybe. WAIT. "angel with the scabbed wings," perhaps. cradle of filth: i guess their cover of "mr. crowley." rammstein: "donaukinder," pretty easily this time. a day to remember: "i'm made of wax, larry, what're you made of?" fuckin' rocks!! do you have an "original character?" well, as a forum role-player since i think 2007, i think last time i counted, i have over 200, lmao. and yes, i'm attached to them all too much to kill off half of them. fuck my life rip rip rip. what about a persona/fursona?  ye, ozzkat. do you ever MAKE your own surveys?  not an entire survey, no, but once in a blue moon i'll think of a question i think's really good and add it onto a survey. why's it the woman who have to give birth anyway if the man is physically stronger in most cases?  i mean, besides the obvious, are you asking why it was ever made this way to begin with? *shrugs* who really knows? do you get good internet there? nnnnnope. it goes out pretty frequently. ever had a cavity? how many? i sure have, but idk how many. ever broken a tooth?  indeed. when i passed out as i was scrambling out of the shower because i felt dizzy, i landed dead on my chin. a good number of my molars shattered. the feeling of all those broken fragments in my mouth when i woke up... ewwwww. ;D; for a while, they went untreated as they were not causing much issue. eventually though, they needed to be filled, i think because the microscopic cracks that were formed were expanding. it could've ruined those teeth. what did you do on the playground at your school as a child?  for a long, long time, i mainly swung if there were any swings open. it was the one thing i actually enjoyed doing outside. in my older elementary school years, i actually started a trend, ha ha: digging tunnels with our hands in the sand pit. idk why exactly i liked doing it, but i did. my friends and i would always be the weirdos digging the entire time we were outside. i remember once we made a pretty intricate system. are you into comics? no, i don't read them, but i still sometimes enjoy who the subject is. ex. i like batman, but i've never read his comics once. would you ever like to work on a farm? i would not. i don't like outdoor labor, honestly. did you ever have computer disc games you played as a kid? sure did! we had "putt-putt," "freddy the fish," "i spy spooky mansion," "odell down under," "oregon trail," i personally had vet-oriented games, and i remember there was one about going up the amazon river, and it was the third in the series. that one was my all-time favorite. OH OH OH! and i had this wicked cool dinosaur game that taught you about various dinosaurs and looked sooo realistic!! what do you think of people who have therapists? i think they're brave as fuck to admit they have a problem and need help??? like what else would i think??? do you have any of those adult coloring books? i do. i don't use 'em a lot, though. don't enjoy coloring like i used to. ever ridden an elephant?  no, but that'd be REALLY cool. deserts: dreary or beautiful?  beautiful!!! ever seen a panda?  i don't believe i have, even in a zoo. what kind a camera do you have?  nikon d3200 do you have stretch marks? where? don't be shy, they're tiger stripes! i'm much convinced they're not tiger stripes. all they tell you is i'm overweight, not that i'm a warrior. and honestly, the better question is where don't i have stretch marks. i gained weight way too fucking fast when jason left, so... they're kinda all over the place. they're fucking gross and i've tried so hard to get rid of them using bio oil (which was working, but we don't have the money to keep buying) and another cream that doesn't do much. ugh. lobsters: cool or scary?  both. they're honestly pretty creepy, but i do believe they're still quite cool, too. opposoms: total vermin or cute? CUTE AS FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK what tv channel dominated your childhood?  ha ha animal planet!!! if nicole was picking what to watch it'd be disney channel, but me, animal planet. (: it's such a shame how much animal planet has changed, though... now it's all about people and how to survive a fucking animal attack... ever actually seen a snake in the wild?  here in the rural south, plenty of times. i have two noteworthy occasions, though. once, when i was being dropped off at home from school by a family friend, we stopped short because of something in the driveway. my sisters and i got out of the car to see a rattlesnake- a HUGE one- curled up, head raised, hissing, and rattling its tail vigorously. we called for our mom and dad, who came outside and immediately called somebody; i don't recall who, but they were not going to harm the snake. they came quickly and, with a shovel i think, moved the snake to the large tobacco field right across the road of our house. the snake was quite compliant, i was surprised. second, also many years ago, i was taking a walk and found a pretty small snake in the middle of the road, which is just a gravel path. it didn't want to move, but it seemed perfectly alive and healthy. i couldn't identify the species, but i don't think it was venomous. regardless though, i refused to be stupid and touch it, but i still stayed by it and directly a car once around the snake because i didn't want it run over. my friend came over, however (they were whom i got around the snake), so i abandoned the serpent and went home to play. after she left, i went to check on the snake, and he'd been run over. :( i was sincerely sad. have you ever had a PET snake? what kind? i've had two! my first ever was a ball python named mona lisa, and wow... i never knew it was POSSIBLE to love a snake so dearly. i mean, "it's just a snake," right? no, she was family. she was going to play a big part in my senior project actually, but she sadly died due to the pet store's own negligence (there was a tick on her when we adopted her, and it apparently made her ill). after mona, i adopted another snake quite a while later; it was too young to distinguish gender, so i gave it a neutral name: cato. it too was a ball python, and we had little cato for a very short period of time... it never deficated, and when it passed and its tailbase swole up, we took its corpse right to petsmart because i had a feeling they were to blame. again. apparently, we'd adopted a sick snake: something was wrong with its bowels, no doubt, and the employee assumed it had to do with bacteria. i absolutely refuse to ever adopt a reptile from petsmart or petco ever again; they just don't treat their reptiles and rodents (i've got a gooood story about rats...) like family in my frank opinion. i've located a ball python morph breeder instead, and i plan on adopting from him very, very soon. (: ever had an encounter with a snapping turtle? they're scary!  ha ha ha omg guys my older sister ashley once fished up a HUGE snapping turtle!! it was liiivid! i can't remember how my dad did it, but he got it off suuuuuper-duper carefully. wait, or maybe he just cut the line, i don't remember. do you like oatmeal? eh, i have to be in the mood, and it needs JUST the right amount of milk or it's too liquidy. i also only eat it with milk, not water. wherever you live, have you ever seen your national bird? i have once in the wild! :D i live in north america, so it was the bald eagle. it was SO BIG. ever had a reptile as a pet that you had to feed crickets? did you ever pick up the crickets? i sure have: a chinese water dragon lizard named shadow. for a very long time, i couldn't touch the crickets, no. eventually though, i would pick 'em up and drop them into the cage. later in shadow's life though, it was much easier (and convenient for him) to just dump the whole bag of them into his terrarium. it was so cute how he'd get so excited every single time he saw a cricket! i miss him. :( ever play hearthstone?  i have, but only to get the "i won three games" mount in world of warcraft, lmao. it's an okay game, but i don't love it. i'm not the best with tactic games like that. ever gone hunting? biggest thing you've ever shot?  i do not go hunting, no, i can't stand the idea of killing an animal for sport. my little sister does sometimes, though. i don't think she's been in a few years, however. coolest place you've ever been hunting? n/a. how about fishing? biggest thing you've ever caught?  heeeeeell yeah, man! been fishing since i was a little girl! :D i never keep anything i catch though: i kiss my hand, touch the fish's head with it, and gently place it back into the water from whence it came. i caught my biggest many summers ago while catfishing one night... i hooked a blue catfish in the eye. whoooops. o.o; i ended up catching it, and it was huuuuge! wish i had the picture dad took to show you guys. with its size, dad said i could certainly keep the fish to cook up for dinner, but i said no, to let him go. watching dad take the hook out though was horrid; the fish ended up losing its eye. :( so i called him "'ole one-eye," hehe. 'ole one-eye was just fine when he got back in the water, thank goodness. i almost caught something i KNOW was even bigger once, though. same fishing spot, catfishing again. fought with it for a while, and holy SHIT i wish i'd seen how big it was. ended up breaking my line pretty quickly. i wanna go catfishing again. :( coolest place you've ever been fishing?  i've never been fishing outside north carolina, and not far from home, either, so i haven't really been anywhere necessarily "cool." there's two places i consider quite interesting, though. the catfishing spot, for one, is at a dam. i don't know what about it, it's just real cool there. the second spot, though, is much more wild. it's in the middle of shitfucknowhere and you have to brave through some pretty thick woods to get to the river. It's also connected to a dam, but you can't see it from where you fish. it's a great place to fish for striper. boy, is it pretty there, too... wish i had pictures. i love how untouched it is. i watched a mink, i think it was, dive into the water once. this fishing talk is making me so nostalgic! which is cooler: african or asian elephant? i wouldn't say one's "cooler" than the other, but i find an african elephant to be more proportional with the size of its ears. the asian elephant's ears look too small. craziest thing you've ever eaten?  i honestly don't think i've ever eaten anything considered strange. i'm VERY picky and don't really risk much with food. i mean i guess the "weirdest" thing was i took the smallest, smallest bite out of deer jerky once. what's in a camel's back? fat. it's not water, if that's what you wanted me to say. do you believe in any cryptids?  i think i do, yes. there's just been too, too many sightings, and i don't believe that many people are liars. i think i believe in sasquatch, chupacabra (not the "omg it drinks blood" bullshit, but the coyote/??? mixed creature), the dover demon, mothman, hellhounds/the many ghostly hounds people have seen in the world, olitiau if i spelled that correctly, i'm iffy with the jersey devil, and i'm sure i'm forgetting some i think are plausible... i am VERY interested in learning about any cryptid. i mean c'mon, a good portion of our world is entirely undocumented! who knows what's out there! "lost tapes" was my shit back in the day, until like the last season where everything looked too fake. steve irwin: foolish for messing around with animals or brave for teaching us? steve irwin was anything but a fool. he was an inspiration for all us people who love and are fascinated by animals. he was my teacher, despite never meeting him. he put his safety aside to teach the world about creatures big and small so we could respect and honor them. god bless that man, and may he rest in peace. you were and still are my hero. what do you think of people who put their whole life on social media? some things need to be kept quite, sure. like i'm not gonna go on facebook and proclaim, "i just had sex boiz!!" or "just took a shit, ya'll!" some things, keep a mystery. your whole life isn't everyone else's business, you know? if you post a lot, i have no issue with that, just know your boundaries. don't you think it's a bit deceptive to wear a push-up bra?  no??? is wearing certain pants to make ya dick look bigger deceptive, too??? perhaps some people are more comfortable with the cushioning. or maybe they could only find their size as push-up. or, just maybe, a woman likes to feel better about herself. do you truly believe we came from chimps? why? no, i don't. and i have a plethora of reasons, but the underlying belief of mine is that it's just implausible and i don't believe our body can "pick" the "right" trait to pass on to increase odds of survival. to believe we all came from one organism just seems... very unlikely. well, what do you think of extra bones and even organs in our bodies? why do we have them?  if you're talking about the appendix, it actually does have a use. it's vital to survival in the fetal stage. I don't remember what it does, though... extra bones, i can't entirely tell you with certainty. my own sister had an extra bone in her hand, gross stuff... i like to think of them as god fooling around in the sims creation page *wink* if you could choose anyone to be your mother, who would it be? i honestly don't think in any case i'd want another mom. if you could choose anyone to be your father, who would it be?  ... i honestly want to say james hetfield, but i think incest might be a problem because fuckshittits i'd fuck him and he's in his 50s kill me pls end this madness. weirdest video game you've ever played? hmmm. i personally don't think i've ever played a "weird" game. the first "silent hill" is pretty damn whacky, but far more in a scary sense than weird. it just really throws everything you've ever thought about the world into chaos. we're having a pig-pickin'! whatcha eating?  oh god... i hate those... please no... D: ever been on a scary hay ride? i have indeed, at the old church-oriented cheerleading and basketball place ever been to a castle?  i have n- wait! i've been in cinderella's castle in disney world! :D what's your favorite kind of penguin? i think they're called emperor penguins. they look very majestic but silly simultaneously! whales. should they be allowed in sea world?  i don't think so, honestly. if so, they'd need a WAY bigger aquarium than i remember seeing them in... ever seen an albino? whether it be human or animal?  pretty sure i've seen albino mice, but that's it, i think. what do you think of the song "miss jackson" by panic! at the disco? good song very good a++ what is the wallpaper on your best friends cell phone? i'm pretty sure her lock screen is she and her husband, and her home screen is a bible quote. do you feel comfortable singing in front of others? nope, no one. do you like using big words when you talk? if i believe this word to be more descriptive/accurate when explaining something, sure? do you EVER use caps lock? yes, i do, for emphasis. i'm extremely passionate and talk exactly how i type, so there's gotta be emphasis!! are you loud when you’re having sex? i wouldn't know, but i was always quiet doing sexual things because i was sooo nervous about being loud, even if no one was around. have you ever wanted to drop out of school? definitely. i was suicidal in high school partially because of school, and i really considered it in order to potentially save myself (i ended up having to drop all but one class when the issue was brought to my principal). i did drop out of college. when was the last time you watched south park? well over a year ago. i watched it with jason occasionally, he enjoyed it. are you italian? i am not. are you interested in photography at all? well, i'm hoping to be a photographer, so. any survey takers that annoy you on tumblr? not at all. there are some whose answers i disagree with very much, but honestly, every survey taker i've seen seem pretty cool. do you like bob marley? OH MY GOOOOOD NO I HATE HIS VOICE can you talk to your parents about anything without them judging or bickering at you? i don't think so, honestly. are you interested in art? very much so. don't you think we're spending too much money on exploring the mere theory of climate change? lmao who made this, donald trump??? no. climate change is important as fuck and if we keep this shit up, could very well end or nearly decimate humanity. everyone always wants to know your favorite animal. what's your SECOND favorite? probably rhesus macaques. very mischievous and social. who’s your favorite disney character? probably mulan, but i have no real preference. have you ever taken the eharmony personality quiz? YES AND I HAD ZERO MATCHES GG do you take vitamins? if so, what kinds? not anymore, no. how much was your prom dress? what’s the most you’d spend? i'm not sure how much either of them costs... and i really don't know how much i'd pay, but not too much, i mean, it's just prom. would you marry someone of a different religion?  depends on the religion, really. like some religions have beliefs i would never respect, such as some religions believe the woman is far lesser than the man. i wouldn't marry someone with those beliefs. how did you learn the word “fuck”? school, i'm sure. if you could make one of your enemies your best friend, who would it be? why would i want to be friends with my enemy, as anyone who i consider my enemy is obviously so for a reason? what is the last movie you saw in theaters? trolls. soooo cute. (: have you ever got into a wreck?  i've been in an accident, not a wreck, i'd say. do you think you are an argumentative person?  no. to avoid confrontation, i usually just keep my opinion to myself to avoid this whole issue. can you admit when you’re wrong?  i'm quick to admit that honestly. i doubt myself. are you easily confused?  VERY VERY VERY do you think you would make a good wife/husband?  i hope... have you ever caught a butterfly?  omg i forgot this story... a few days after jason left (it may have even been the next day, i don't recall), i found a yellow-and-black, crippled butterfly. i tried so hard to nurse it back to health, but it was useless, it was going to and did die. i buried it in my back yard among crysanthemums (i probably murdered spelling that). honestly, part of me getting my semicolon butterfly tattoo relates to that butterfly. have you ever deliberately tried to get someone drunk? no, that sounds... really wrong. do you like being kissed on the neck? if you want your clothes ripped off, sure. favorite song by the band the offspring? uh-oh, i'm not sure! i reeeaaally love "why don't you get a job" and "pretty fly for a white guy" about the same. how many times each morning do you press the snooze button? i never use an alarm, so. when you go out to eat, what sides do your order with your food? fries because i'm a fat american what video game or computer game are you best at? am i best at? idk, really. how do you normally come across new music? youtube's recommendations what subject in school do you feel is the least necessary? it depends on what you want to do in your future, really. they all have purpose, just not for everyone. do you enjoy power outages or do you get annoyed? i wouldn't say i "enjoy" them, but i'll usually get excited a bit for like a minute just because something different is going on. are you pretty politically correct? yes and no. have you ever behaved like a stalker?   ... i think so, honestly. do you appreciate other people’s opinions?   appreciate, yes.  it's part of what makes us unique. if you could pick your own pet name, what would it be?   *shrugs* do you care what’s going on in the world?   i'm one of the idiots that lives on it, duh i do. how many partners is too many?   having any more than one do you examine the tissue after you blow your nose?   yeah, ensure there's no blood or anything. do you prefer boys to shave down there?   no preference.  whatever they're comfortable with. how much does your mother know about your sex life (or lack thereof)?   all she knows is i almost had sex once but didn't.  i talked to her about it because i felt VERY guilty. are any of your siblings married? what are their spouse’s names?   only ashley is married, and her husband's name is nick. have you ever had a pet bird?   no, i wish. how many times have you moved in your lifetime?   i've moved twice. if you could get one piercing and one tattoo, where would you want them?   piercing, labret.  one tattoo... ohhhh man... i think it'd still probably be what i'm starting next: the painting "denialism" by da's tatchit on my right upper arm.  it doesn't have a personal meaning to me, honestly, i just think it's fucking awesome. would you consider yourself to be adventurous?   depends, really.  what're the risks of what i'm doing? has any part of your house ever been flooded?   no, only our yard. is there anyone that you're worried about right now? who and why?   well, jason is the obvious.  i always worry about him, whether or not he's happy and moreso if he's being loved enough... because i can guaranfuckingtee ashley will never love him like i do. if you won a lot of money, would you donate any of it? to what organization would you donate it?   i'm sure i would, but idk where. describe the best friend you've ever had, or the best person you've ever known.   jason, quite easily.  he was both my boyfriend and best friend.  he just kinda... changed one day. have you ever adopted a stray animal?   MANY cats, yes. if you were seriously ill and couldn't find the necessary help or treatment in your home country, would you ever travel abroad to get treatment, expenses aside?   who wouldn't, honestly? what time did you wake up this morning?   i'm woke 24/7, motherfucker. ever wonder if you’re someone’s everything?   i have.  apparently, i wasn't. would you ever bleach your hair platinum blonde?   i actually kinda want to, but it's another hair color mom won't allow.  my hair is like supremely healthy and she doesn't want me to ruin it. what is your mom’s middle name?   marie do you know the color of your ex boyfriend/girlfriend’s eyes?   yes, a very mellow dark brown. have you had your wisdom teeth out?   no, but it looks to be inevitable soon. your appendix?   nope, i still have it.